Wikiquote enwikiquote https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Main_Page MediaWiki 1.47.0-wmf.2 first-letter Media Special Talk User User talk Wikiquote Wikiquote talk File File talk MediaWiki MediaWiki talk Template Template talk Help Help talk Category Category talk Draft Draft talk TimedText TimedText talk Module Module talk Event Event talk 0 44 3942286 3940287 2026-05-18T11:53:32Z GrimRob 1187925 /* Early career (1897–1929) */ women’s suffrage quote from 1897 3942286 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Churchill-in-quebec-1944-23-0201a.gif|220px|thumb|Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that, if the British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, 'This was their finest hour.']] '''[[w:Winston Churchill|Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill]]''' [[w:Order of the Garter|KG]] [[w:Order of Merit (Commonwealth)|OM]] [[w:Order of the Companions of Honour|CH]] [[w:Territorial Decoration|TD]] [[w:Fellow of the Royal Society|FRS]] [[w:Queen's Privy Council|PC]] ([[November 30]], [[1874]] – [[January 24]], [[1965]]) was a British statesman who served as [[w:Prime Minister of the United Kingdom|Prime Minister of the United Kingdom]] from 1940 to 1945, [[w:Winston Churchill in the Second World War|during the Second World War]], and again from 1951 to 1955. Churchill was a [[w:Royal Military Academy, Sandhurst|Sandhurst]]-educated soldier, a [[Nobel Prize in Literature|Nobel Prize]]-winning [[w:Winston Churchill as a writer|writer]] and [[w:Winston Churchill as historian|historian]], a prolific [[w:Winston Churchill as painter|painter]], and one of the longest-serving politicians in British history. Apart from two years between 1922 and 1924, he was a [[w:Member of Parliament (United Kingdom)|Member of Parliament]] (MP) from 1900 to 1964 and represented a total of five [[w:UK Parliament constituency|constituencies]]. Ideologically an [[Economic liberalism|economic liberal]] and [[Imperialism|imperialist]], he was for most of his career a member of the [[Conservative Party (UK)|Conservative Party]], which he led from 1940 to 1955, though he was a member of the [[w:Liberal Party (UK)|Liberal Party]] from 1904 to 1924. :'''''See also: [[The Second World War (book series)]]''''' [[File:Sir Winston S Churchill.jpg|thumb|To improve is to change, so to be perfect is to have changed often.]] [[File:WinstonChurchill1916Army.gif|thumb|Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities, because, as has been said, it is the quality which guarantees all others.]] == Quotes == === Early career (1897–1929) === [[File:Jennie Churchill with her sons.jpg|thumb|John, Jennie, and Winston Churchill (1889)]] *[T]he [[British people|British]] [[Working class|workman]] has more to hope for from the rising tide of [[w:Tory democracy|Tory democracy]] than from the dried up drain-pipe of [[Radicalism]]. **Speech in Claverton Down, Bath (26 July 1897), quoted in ''Churchill By Himself: The Definitive Collections of Quotations'', ed. Richard Langworth, 2008, p. 424 * Women who discharge their duty to the state viz marrying and giving birth to children are adequately represented by their husbands. ** A note on the [[w:Women's suffrage in the United Kingdom|women’s suffrage]] bill pasted into his copy of the 1874 Annual Register (he was subsequently to change his mind), quoted in [https://winstonchurchill.hillsdale.edu/churchill-womens-suffrage-black-friday Churchill, "Women’s Suffrage, and 'Black Friday,' November 1910"], 1897 *There are not wanting those who say that in this [[w:Diamond Jubilee of Queen Victoria|Jubilee]] year our [[British Empire|Empire]] has reached the height of its [[glory]] and [[power]], and that now we shall begin to decline, as [[Babylon]], [[w:Carthage|Carthage]], [[Roman Empire|Rome]] declined. Do not believe these croakers but give the lie to their dismal croaking by showing by our actions that the vigour and vitality of our race is unimpaired and that our determination is to uphold the Empire that we have inherited from our fathers as [[Englishmen]] (cheers), that our flag shall fly high upon the sea, our voice be heard in the councils of [[Europe]], our [[Victoria of the United Kingdom|Sovereign]] supported by the love of her subjects, then shall we continue to pursue that course marked out for us by an all-wise hand and carry out our mission of bearing peace, civilisation and good government to the uttermost ends of the earth. (Loud cheers.) **Speech in Claverton Down, Bath (26 July 1897), quoted in ''Never Give In! The Best of Winston Churchill's Speeches'' (2003), p. 3 * Every influence, every motive, that provokes the spirit of [[murder]] among men, impels these mountaineers to deeds of treachery and violence. The strong aboriginal propensity to kill, inherent in all human beings, has in these valleys been preserved in unexampled strength and vigour. That religion, which above all others was founded and propagated by the sword — the tenets and principles of which are instinct with incentives to slaughter and which in three continents has produced fighting breeds of men — stimulates a wild and merciless [[fanaticism]]. The love of plunder, always a characteristic of hill tribes, is fostered by the spectacle of [[opulence]] and luxury which, to their eyes, the cities and plains of the south display. A code of honour not less punctilious than that of old [[Spain]], is supported by vendettas as implacable as those of [[w:Corsica|Corsica]]. ** ''[[wikipedia:The Story of the Malakand Field Force|The Story of the Malakand Field Force: An Episode of Frontier War]]'' (1898), Chapter I ** Description of the tribal areas of what is now [[wikipedia:Pakistan|Pakistan]], commonly referred to as [[wikipedia:Waziristan|Waziristan]] ** Downloadable eText version(s) of this book can be found [http://onlinebooks.library.upenn.edu/webbin/gutbook/lookup?num=9404 online] at [[wikipedia:Project Gutenberg|Project Gutenberg]] * Every tribesman has a blood feud with his neighbor. Every man’s hand is against the other, and all against the stranger….Every influence, every motive, that provokes the spirit of murder among men, impels these mountaineers to deeds of treachery and violence. The strong aboriginal propensity to kill, inherent in all human beings, has in these valleys been preserved in unexampled strength and vigour. That religion [Islam], which above all others was founded and propagated by the sword—the tenets and principles of which are instinct with incentives to slaughter and which in three continents has produced fighting breeds of men—stimulates a wild and merciless fanaticism. The love of plunder, always a characteristic of hill tribes, is fostered by the spectacle of opulence and luxury which, to their eyes, the cities and plains of the south display. A code of honour not less punctilious than that of old Spain, is supported by vendettas as implacable as those of Corsica.[3] ** ''[[wikipedia:The Story of the Malakand Field Force|The Story of the Malakand Field Force: An Episode of Frontier War]]'' (1898), Chapter I. MFF, pp.3-4. Churchill begins his 1898 book, ''The Story of the Malakand Field Force: An Episode of Frontier War'' * We see them in their squalid, loopholed hovels, amid dirt and ignorance, as degraded a [[race]] as any on the fringe of humanity: fierce as the tiger, but less cleanly; as dangerous, not so graceful. Those simple family virtues, which [[Idealism|idealists]] usually ascribe to primitive peoples, are conspicuously absent. Their wives and their womenkind generally, have no position but that of animals. They are freely bought and sold, and are not infrequently bartered for rifles. [[Truth]] is unknown among them. A single typical incident displays the standpoint from which they regard an oath. In any dispute about a field boundary, it is customary for both claimants to walk round the boundary he claims, with a [[Quran|Koran]] in his hand, swearing that all the time he is walking on his own land. To meet the difficulty of a false oath, while he is walking over his neighbor’s land, he puts a little dust from his own field into his shoes. As both sides are acquainted with the trick, the dismal farce of swearing is usually soon abandoned, in favor of an appeal to force.... All are held in the grip of miserable superstition. The power of the ziarat, or sacred tomb, is wonderful. Sick children are carried on the backs of buffaloes, sometimes sixty or seventy miles, to be deposited in front of such a shrine, after which they are carried back—if they survive the journey—in the same way. It is painful even to think of what the wretched child suffers in being thus jolted over the cattle tracks. But the tribesmen consider the treatment much more efficacious than any infidel prescription. To go to a ziarat and put a stick in the ground is sufficient to ensure the fulfillment of a wish. To sit swinging a stone or coloured glass ball, suspended by a string from a tree, and tied there by some fakir, is a sure method of securing a fine male heir. To make a cow give good milk, a little should be plastered on some favorite stone near the tomb of a holy man. These are but a few instances; but they may suffice to reveal a state of mental development at which civilization hardly knows whether to laugh or weep.” ** ''[[wikipedia:The Story of the Malakand Field Force|The Story of the Malakand Field Force: An Episode of Frontier War]]'' (1898), Chapter I MFF, Chapter 1, p.7 *Their superstition exposes them to the rapacity and tyranny of a numerous priesthood ‘Mullahs,’ ‘Sahibzadas,’ ‘Akhundzadas,’ ‘Fakirs,’—and a host of wandering Talib-ul-ilms, who correspond with the [[Theology|theological]] students in [[Turkey]], and live free at the expense of the people. More than this, they enjoy a sort of droit du seigneur, and no man’s wife or daughter is safe from them. Of some of their manners and morals it is impossible to write. As [[William Makepeace Thackeray|Macaulay]] has said of [[William Wycherley|Wycherley]]’s plays, ‘they are protected against the critics as a skunk is protected against the hunters.’ They are ‘safe, because they are too filthy to handle, and too noisome even to approach.’ ** ''[[wikipedia:The Story of the Malakand Field Force|The Story of the Malakand Field Force: An Episode of Frontier War]]'' (1898), Chapter I MFF Chapter 1, pp.7-8 * [when] the Mullah will raise his voice and remind them of other days when the sons of [[Muhammad|the prophet]] drove the infidel from the plains of [[India]], and [[Delhi Sultanate|ruled at Delhi]], as wide an [[Empire]] as the [[Kafir]] holds to-day: when the true religion strode proudly through the earth and scorned to lie hidden and neglected among the hills: when mighty princes ruled in Bagdad, and all men knew that there was one God, and Mahomet was His prophet. And the young men hearing these things will grip their Martinis[1], and pray to [[Allah]], that one day He will bring some Sahib—best prize of all—across their line of sight at seven hundred yards so that, at least, they may strike a blow for insulted and threatened Islam. ** ''[[wikipedia:The Story of the Malakand Field Force|The Story of the Malakand Field Force: An Episode of Frontier War]]'' (1898), Chapter I MFF Chapter 1, pp.7-8 * During the two years that the [[Flag of the United Kingdom|British flag]] had floated over Chakdara and the Malakand the trade of the Swat Valley had nearly doubled. As the sun of civilisation rose above the hills, the fair flowers of commerce unfolded, and the streams of supply and demand, hitherto congealed by the frost of barbarism, were thawed….<br> But a single class had viewed with quick intelligence and intense hostility the approach of the British power. The priesthood of the [[Afghanistan|Afghan]] border instantly recognised the full meaning of the Chitral road. The cause of their antagonism is not hard to discern. Contact with civilisation assails the ignorance, and credulity, on which the wealth and influence of the Mullah depend. A general combination of the religious forces of India against that civilising, educating rule, which unconsciously saps the strength of superstition, is one of the dangers of the future. Here Mahommedanism [<nowiki/>[[Islam]]] was threatened and resisted. A vast, but silent agitation was begun. Messengers passed to and fro among the tribes. Whispers of war, a holy war, were breathed to a race intensely passionate and fanatical. Vast and mysterious agencies, the force of which is incomprehensible to rational minds, were employed. More astute brains than the wild valleys of the North produce conducted the preparations. Secret encouragement came from the South—from India itself. Actual support and assistance was given from [[Kabul|Cabul]].<br> In that strange half light of ignorance and superstition, assailed by supernatural terrors and doubts, and lured by hopes of celestial glory, the tribes were taught to expect prodigious events. Something was coming. A great day for their race and faith was at hand. Presently the moment would arrive. They must watch and be ready. The mountains became as full of explosives as a magazine. Yet the spark was lacking.<br> At length the time came. A strange combination of circumstances operated to improve the opportunity. The victory of [[Ottoman Empire|the Turks]] over the [[Greeks]]; the circulation of the Amir’s book on ‘Jehad [<nowiki/>[[Jihad]]]’; his assumption of the position of a Caliph of Islam, and much indiscreet writing in the [[British Raj|Anglo-Indian]] press, [Articles in Anglo-Indian papers on such subjects as The Recrudescence of Mahommedanism [Islam] produce more effect on the educated native mind than the most seditious frothings of the vernacular press] united to produce a ‘boom’ in Mahommedanism [Islam]].<br> The moment was propitious; nor was the man wanting. What [[w:Peter_the_Hermit|Peter the Hermit]] was to the regular bishops and cardinals of the Church, the Mad Mullah was to the ordinary priesthood of the Afghan border. A wild enthusiast, convinced alike of his Divine mission and miraculous powers, preached a crusade, or Jehad [Jihad], against the infidel. The mine was fired. The flame ran along the ground. The explosions burst forth in all directions. The reverberations have not yet died away.[6] ** ''[[wikipedia:The Story of the Malakand Field Force|The Story of the Malakand Field Force: An Episode of Frontier War]]'' (1898), Chapter I MFF Chapter 1, pp.27-28 * It is, thank heaven, difficult if not impossible for the modern European to fully appreciate the force which fanaticism exercises among an ignorant, warlike and Oriental population. Several generations have elapsed since the nations of the West have drawn the sword in religious controversy, and the evil memories of the gloomy past have soon faded in the strong, clear light of [[Rationalism]] and human [[sympathy]]. Indeed it is evident that [[Christianity]], however degraded and distorted by cruelty and intolerance, must always exert a modifying influence on men's passions, and protect them from the more violent forms of fanatical fever, as we are protected from [[smallpox]] by [[vaccination]]. But the [[Islam|Mahommedan religion]] increases, instead of lessening, the fury of [[intolerance]]. It was originally propagated by the sword, and ever since, its votaries have been subject, above the people of all other creeds, to this form of madness. In a moment the fruits of patient toil, the prospects of material prosperity, the fear of death itself, are flung aside. The more emotional Pathans are powerless to resist. All rational considerations are forgotten. Seizing their weapons, they become Ghazis—as dangerous and as sensible as mad dogs: fit only to be treated as such. While the more generous spirits among the tribesmen become convulsed in an ecstasy of religious bloodthirstiness, poorer and more material souls derive additional impulses from the influence of others, the hopes of plunder and the joy of fighting. Thus whole nations are roused to arms. Thus the [[Ottoman Empire|Turks]] repel their enemies, the [[Arabs]] of [[Sudan|the Soudan]] break the British squares, and the rising on the Indian frontier spreads far and wide. In each case civilisation is confronted with militant Mahommedanism. The forces of progress clash with those of reaction. The religion of blood and war is face to face with that of peace. Luckily the religion of peace is usually the better armed. ** ''The Story of the Malakand Field Force: An Episode of Frontier War'' (1898), Chapter III * '''I pass with relief from the tossing sea of [[Cause]] and [[Theory]] to the firm ground of [[Results|Result]] and [[Fact]].''' ** ''The Story of the Malakand Field Force: An Episode of Frontier War'' (1898), Chapter III * It is better to be making the news than taking it; to be an actor rather than a critic. ** ''The Story of the Malakand Field Force: An Episode of Frontier War'' (1898), Chapter VIII * '''Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result.''' ** ''The Story of the Malakand Field Force: An Episode of Frontier War'' (1898), Chapter X * How dreadful are the curses which Mohammedanism lays on its votaries! Besides the fanatical frenzy, which is as dangerous in a man as hydrophobia in a dog, there is this fearful fatalistic apathy. The effects are apparent in many countries. Improvident habits, slovenly systems of agriculture, sluggish methods of [[Trade|commerce]], and insecurity of [[property]] exist wherever the followers of the Prophet rule or live. A degraded sensualism deprives this life of its grace and refinement; the next of its [[dignity]] and [[sanctity]]. The fact that in [[Sharia|Mohammedan law]] every [[Women|woman]] must belong to some man as his absolute property, either as a [[Children|child]], a [[Wives|wife]], or a [[Concubinage in Islam|concubine]], must delay the final [[Abolition of slavery|extinction of slavery]] until the faith of Islam has ceased to be a great power among men.<br>Individual [[Muslim|Moslems]] may show splendid qualities. Thousands become the brave and loyal soldiers of [[Victoria of the United Kingdom|the Queen]]; all know how to die; but the influence of the religion paralyses the social development of those who follow it. No stronger retrograde force exists in the world. Far from being moribund, Mohammedanism is a militant and proselytizing faith. It has already spread throughout [[w:Central_Africa|Central Africa]], raising fearless warriors at every step; '''and were it not that Christianity is sheltered in the strong arms of science, the science against which it had vainly struggled, the civilisation of modern Europe might fall, as fell the civilisation of ancient Rome.''' ** ''[[wikipedia:The River War|The River War: An Historical Account of the Reconquest of the Soudan]]'' (1899), Volume II pp. 248–250 ** (This passage does not appear in the 1902 one-volume abridgment, the version posted by Project Gutenberg.) ** Downloadable etext version(s) of this book can be found [http://onlinebooks.library.upenn.edu/webbin/gutbook/lookup?num=4943 online] at [[wikipedia:Project Gutenberg|Project Gutenberg]] * It is the habit of the [[w:Boa_constrictor|boa constrictor]] to besmear the body of his victim with a foul slime before he devours it; and there are many people in [[England]], and perhaps elsewhere, who seem to be unable to contemplate military operations for clear political objects, unless they can cajole themselves into the belief that their enemy are utterly and hopelessly vile. To this end the Dervishes, from the Mahdi and the Khalifa downwards, have been loaded with every variety of abuse and charged with all conceivable crimes. This may be very comforting to philanthropic persons at home; but when an army in the field becomes imbued with the idea that the enemy are vermin who cumber the earth, instances of barbarity may easily be the outcome. This unmeasured condemnation is moreover as unjust as it is dangerous and unnecessary. ** ''The River War: An Historical Account of the Reconquest of the Soudan'' (1899), Volume II pp. 394–395 ** (This passage does not appear in the 1902 one-volume abridgment, the version posted by Project Gutenberg). * What is the true and original root of Dutch aversion to British rule? It is the abiding fear and hatred of the movement that seeks to place the [[Black people|native]] on a level with the [[White people|white man]] ... the Kaffir is to be declared the brother of the European, to be constituted his legal equal, to be armed with political rights. ** On the [[wikipedia:Boer War|Boer War]], ''[[wikipedia:London to Ladysmith via Pretoria|London to Ladysmith via Pretoria]]'' (1900). * There must be room in our army system for nearly everyone who is not grossly idle or grossly stupid. It is not a case of employing incompetent or worthless men, and such should, of course, be expelled from the army. It is a case of finding suitable employment for officers not fit for higher command. ** ''Officers and Gentlemen'', The Saturday Evening Post, 29 December 1900. ** Reproduced in ''The Collected Essays of Sir Winston Churchill, Vol I, Churchill at War'', Centenary Edition (1976), Library of Imperial History, p. 51. <small>{{ISBN|0903988429}}</small> * It may be said, therefore, that the military opinion of the world is opposed to those people who cry '[[Democratization|Democratize]] the army!' and '''it must be remembered that an [[Military|army]] is not a field upon which persons with [[Utopia|Utopian]] ideas may exercise their [[political theories]], but a weapon for the defence of the [[State]].''' ** ''British Cavalry'', The Anglo-Saxon Review, March 1901. ** Reproduced in ''The Collected Essays of Sir Winston Churchill, Vol I, Churchill at War'', Centenary Edition (1976), Library of Imperial History, p. 60. <small>{{ISBN|0903988429}}</small> * '''I think we shall have to take the [[Chinese people|Chinese]] in hand and regulate them.''' I believe that as civilized nations become more powerful they will get more ruthless, and the time will come when the world will impatiently bear the existence of great barbaric nations who may at any time arm themselves and menace civilized nations. '''I believe in the ultimate partition of [[China]] — I mean ultimate. I hope we shall not have to do it in our day. The [[Aryan race|Aryan]] stock is bound to triumph'''. ** [http://www.winstonchurchill.org/publications/finest-hour/finest-hour-159/wsc-a-midnight-interview-1902 Speech and interview at the University of Michigan, 1902.] * In former days, when wars arose from individual causes, from the policy of a Minister or the passion of a King, when they were fought by small regular armies of professional soldiers, and when their course was retarded by the difficulties of communication and supply, and often suspended by the winter season, it was possible to limit the liabilities of the combatants. But now, when mighty populations are impelled on each other, each individual severally embittered and inflamed—when the resources of [[science]] and [[Civilization|civilisation]] sweep away everything that might mitigate their fury, a European war can only end in the ruin of the vanquished and the scarcely less fatal commercial dislocation and exhaustion of the conquerors. Democracy is more vindictive than Cabinets. '''The wars of peoples will be more terrible than those of kings.''' ** [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1901/may/13/army-organisation House of Commons, 13 May 1901, Hansard vol. 93 col. 1572.] * The ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year – and to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen. ** Newspaper interview (1902), when asked what qualities a politician required, Halle, Kay, Irrepressible Churchill. Cleveland: World, 1966. cited in ''Churchill by Himself'' (2008), ed. Langworth, PublicAffairs, p. 489 <small>{{ISBN|1586486381}}</small> *The old [[Conservative Party (UK)|Conservative Party]], with its religious convictions and constitutional principles, will disappear, and a new [[Political parties|Party]] will arise like perhaps the [[Republican Party (United States)|Republican Party]] of the [[United States of America]]—[[Wealth|rich]], [[Materialism|materialist]], and [[Secularism|secular]]—whose opinions will turn on tariffs, and who will cause the lobbies to be crowded with the touts of protected industries. **[http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1903/may/28/fiscal-policy-of-the-country#column_194 Speech] in the House of Commons (28 May 1903) *The whole Bill looks like an attempt on the part of the [[Government of the United Kingdom|Government]] to gratify a small but noisy section of their own supporters and to purchase a little popularity in the constituencies by dealing harshly with a number of unfortunate aliens who have no votes. It will commend itself to those who like [[patriotism]] at other people's expense and admire [[Imperialism]] on the [[w:Russian_Empire|Russian model]]. It is expected to appeal to insular [[Xenophobia|prejudice against foreigners]], to [[Racism in the United Kingdom|racial prejudice]] against [[Judaism|Jews]], and to labour prejudice against competition; and it will no doubt supply a variety of rhetorical phrases for the approaching election. The same men who are obstinate opponents of [[Trade unions|trade unionism]] will declaim about "the rights of British labour." Those who champion the interests of slum landlords will dilate on the evils of overcrowding. Those who have been most forward in bringing Chinese into [[Africa]] will pose as the champions of racial purity at home. **Letter to Nathan Laski on the [[w:Aliens Act 1905|Aliens Bill]] (30 May 1904), quoted in ''The Times'' (31 May 1904), p. 10 *I take leave to doubt the wisdom of this Bill even as a political manoeuvre. In spite of [[militarism]] and false ideals about [[trade]], there is a growing spirit of fraternity between [[democracies]]. English working men are not so selfish as to be unsympathetic towards the victims of circumstances or oppression. They do not respond in any marked degree to the [[Antisemitism|Anti-Semitism]] which has darkened recent Continental history; and I for one believe that they will disavow an attempt to shut out the stranger from our land because he is poor or in trouble, and will resent a measure which without any proved necessity smirches those ancient traditions of [[freedom]] and [[hospitality]] for which Britain has been so long renowned. **Letter to Nathan Laski on the Aliens Bill (30 May 1904), quoted in ''The Times'' (31 May 1904), p. 10 * [[Government|Governments]] create nothing and have nothing to give but what they have first taken away — you may put money in the pockets of one set of [[English people|Englishmen]], but it will be money taken from the pockets of another set of Englishmen, and the greater part will be spilled on the way. Every vote given for Protection is a vote to give Governments the right of robbing Peter to pay Paul and charging the public a handsome commission on the job. ** "Why I am a Free Trader," Chapter I in T.W. Stead's journal ''Coming Men on Coming Questions'' (April 13, 1905), bottom p. 9. * The doc­trines that by keep­ing out for­eign goods more [[wealth]], and con­se­quently more [[Employment|employ­ment]], will be cre­ated at home, are either true or they are not true. We con­tend that they are not true. We con­tend that for a nation to try to tax itself into pros­per­ity is like a man stand­ing in a bucket and try­ing to lift him­self up by the han­dle.<ref name="Stead">{{cite book |last=Churchill |first=Winston|editor-last=Stead |editor-first=W.T. |title=Coming Men on Coming Questions |publisher= |date=13 April 1905 |chapter=Chapter 1: Why I am a Free Trader |url=https://archive.org/details/comingmenoncomin00stea}}</ref>{{rp|9}} ** From "Why I am a Free Trader" (1905), Churchill revised this several times, the earliest recorded version coming from the speech "For Free Trade" at the Free Trade Hall, Manchester, 19 Feb­ru­ary 1904: *** It is the the­ory of the Pro­tec­tion­ist that imports are an evil. He thinks that if you shut out the for­eign imported man­u­fac­tured goods you will make these goods your­selves, in addi­tion to the goods which you make now, includ­ing those goods which we make to exchange for the for­eign goods that come in. If a man can believe that he can believe any­thing. (Laugh­ter.) We Free-traders say it is not true. To think you can make a man richer by putting on a tax is like a man think­ing that he can stand in a bucket and lift him­self up by the han­dle. (Laugh­ter and cheers.) <ref name="Rhodes James">{{cite book |last=Churchill |first=Winston|editor-last=Rhodes James |editor-first=Robert |title=Winston S. Churchill: His Complete Speeches 1897-1963 |publisher=Chelsea House Publishers / R.R. Bowker Company |date=1974 |isbn=0835206939}}</ref>{{rp|Vol.I: 261}} * [[Politics]] are almost as exciting as [[war]], and – quite as dangerous ... [I]n war, you can only be killed once. But in politics many times. ** From a conversational exchange with Harold Begbie, as cited in ''Master Workers'', Begbie, Methuen & Co. (1906), p. 177. * For my own part I have always felt that a politician is to be judged by the animosities which he excites among his opponents. I have always set myself not merely to relish but to deserve thoroughly their censure. ** November 17, 1906, Institute of Journalists Dinner, London; in ''Churchill by Himself'' (2008), ed. Langworth, PublicAffairs, p. 392 <small>{{ISBN|1586486381}}</small> * The conditions of the Transvaal ordinance under which Chinese Labour is now being carried on do not, in my opinion, constitute a state of [[slavery]]. A labour contract into which men enter voluntarily for a limited and for a brief period, under which they are paid [[wages]] which they consider adequate, under which they are not bought or sold and from which they can obtain relief on payment of seventeen pounds ten shillings, the cost of their passage, may not be a healthy or proper contract, but it cannot in the opinion of [[Government of the United Kingdom|His Majesty's Government]] be classified as slavery in the extreme acceptance of the word without some risk of terminological inexactitude. ** In the [[wikipedia:British House of Commons|House of Commons]], February 22, 1906 [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1906/feb/22/kings-speech-motion-for-an-address#column_555 "King's Speech (Motion for an Address)"], as [[wikipedia:Under-Secretary of State for the Colonies|Under-Secretary of the Colonial Office]], repeating what he had said during the [[wikipedia:United Kingdom general election, 1906|1906 election]] campaign. This is the original context for ''terminological inexactitude'', used simply literally, whereas later the term took on the sense of a euphemism or circumlocution for a lie. As quoted in ''Sayings of the Century'' (1984) by [[Nigel Rees]]. * I submit respectfully to the House as a general principle that our [[responsibility]] in this matter is directly proportionate to our [[power]]. '''Where there is great power there is great responsibility''', where there is less power there is less responsibility, and where there is no power there can, I think, be no responsibility. ** In the [[wikipedia:British House of Commons|House of Commons]], February 28, 1906 speech [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1906/feb/28/south-african-native-races#S4V0152P0_19060228_HOC_307 South African native races] *Taxes are an evil—a necessary evil, but still an evil, and the fewer of them we have the better. **''Churchill By Himself: The Definitive Collections of Quotations'', ed. Richard Langworth, 2008, p. 424, (1907, 12 February) *They knew what to expect when their opponents returned to power a party of great vested interests—[[corruption]] at home, [[aggression]] to cover it up abroad, the trickery of tariff juggles, the [[tyranny]] of a well-fed party machine; sentiment by the bucketful, [[patriotism]] and Imperialism by the Imperial pint, the open hand at the public Exchequer, the open door at the publichouse, dear food for the million, cheap labour for the [[millionaire]]. That was the policy which the Tory party offered them, and that was the policy which he asked them to strike at with the battle-axe of [[Scotland]]. **Speech in Kinnaird Hall, Dundee, Scotland (8 May 1908), quoted in ''The Times'' (9 May 1908), p. 14 * ''[[The Times]]'' is speechless, and takes three columns to express its speechlessness. ** Speech at Kinnaird Hall, Dundee, Scotland ("The Dundee Election"), May 14, 1908, in ''Liberalism and the Social Problem'' (1909), Churchill, BiblioBazaar (Second Edition, 2006), p. 148 <small>{{ISBN|1426451989}}</small> * Uncounted generations will trample heedlessly upon our tombs. '''What is the use of living, if it be not to strive for noble causes and to make this muddled world a better place for those who will live in it after we are gone?''' How else can we put ourselves in harmonious relation with the great verities and consolations of the infinite and the eternal? And I avow my faith that we are marching towards better days. [[Humanity]] will not be cast down. '''We are going on swinging bravely forward along the grand high road and already behind the distant mountains is the promise of the sun.''' ** Speech at Kinnaird Hall, Dundee, Scotland ("Unemployment"), October 10, 1908, in ''Liberalism and the Social Problem'' (1909), Churchill, Echo Library (2007), p. 87 <small>{{ISBN|1406845817}}</small> *The quarrel between a tremendous democratic [[electorate]] and a one-sided hereditary chamber of wealthy men has often been threatened, has often been averted, has been long debated, has been long delayed, but it has always been inevitable, and it has come at last. It is now open, it is now flagrant, and it must now be carried to a conclusion. **''The People's Rights'' [1909] (1970), p. 20 *Why should five hundred or six hundred titled persons govern us, and why should their children govern our children for ever? I invite a reply from the apologists and the admirers of the [[House of Lords]]. I invite them to show any ground of reason, or of logic, or of expediency or practical common sense in defence of the institution which has taken the predominant part during the last few days in the politics of our country. There is no defence, and there is no answer, except that the House of Lords...has survived out of the past. It is a lingering relic of a [[Feudalism|feudal order]]. It is the remains, the solitary reminder of a state of things and of a balance of forces which has wholly passed away. I challenge the defenders, the backers, and the instigators of the House of Lords—I challenge them to justify and defend before the electors of the country the character and composition of the hereditary assembly. **''The People's Rights'' [1909] (1970), p. 23 *There is no difficulty in vindicating the principle of a hereditary [[monarchy]]. The experience of every country and of all ages, the practical reasonings of common sense, arguments of the highest theory, arguments of most commonplace convenience, all unite to show the wisdom which places the supreme leadership of the State beyond the reach of private ambition and above the shocks and changes of party strife. **''The People's Rights'' [1909] (1970), p. 24 *The House of Lords, in rejecting the [[w:People's Budget|Budget]] which provides for the national expenditure of the year, are refusing, for the first time since the [[English Civil War|great Rebellion]], aids and supplies to [[Monarchy of the United Kingdom|the Crown]], and by that fact and by their intrusion upon finance they commit an act of violence against the [[w:British_Constitution|British Constitution]]. There is no precedent of any kind for the rejection of a Budget Bill by the House of Lords in all the long annals of the [[Parliament of the United Kingdom|British Parliament]], or, before that, in the still more venerable annals of the English Parliament. The custom of centuries forbids their intrusion upon finance. **''The People's Rights'' [1909] (1970), p. 25 *The House of Lords have only been tolerated all these years because they were thought to be in a comatose condition which preceded dissolution. They have got to dissolution now. That this body, utterly unrepresentative, utterly unreformed, should come forward and claim the right to make and unmake Governments, should lay one greedy paw on the prerogatives of the sovereign and another upon the established and most fundamental privileges of the House of Commons is a spectacle which a year ago no one would have believed could happen; which fifty years ago no Peer would have dared suggest; and which two hundred years ago would not have been discussed in the amiable though active manner of a political campaign, but would have been settled by charges of cavalry and the steady advance of iron-clad pikemen. **''The People's Rights'' [1909] (1970), p. 46 *"All [[civilization]]", said [[George Curzon, 1st Marquess Curzon of Kedleston|Lord Curzon]], quoting [[Ernest Renan|Renan]], "all civilization has been the work of [[Aristocracy|aristocracies]]". ... It would be much more true to say "The upkeep of aristocracies has been the hard work of all civilizations". **''The People's Rights'' [1909] (1970), pp. 53-54 *I cannot believe that in the [[20th century|twentieth century]] the [[British people]] are by their deliberate vote going to constitute this assembly – a fraction of whom no doubt are men of real eminence and dignity, but the great majority of whom are quite ordinary people of the well-to-do class with all the narrowest prejudices and special interests of that class – I cannot believe that you by your votes are going to constitute them the main foundation on which the governing power in our land is reposed. I cannot believe the middle classes and the [[Working class|working classes]], who after all have only to use their voting strength to get their own way, are going to degrade and cast away their own voting powers which their fathers won for them in the past...I cannot believe that the electors are going obsequiously to hand over their most vital constitutional right, namely, to choose the Chamber that governs the Government, to an antiquated body of titled persons utterly beyond their control. **''The People's Rights'' [1909] (1970), pp. 65-66 *There is nothing economically unsound in increasing temporarily and artificially the demand for labour during a period of temporary and artificial contraction. There is a plain need of some averaging machinery to regulate and even-up the general course of the labour market. ... by every step in that direction you would free thousands of your fellow-countrymen from undeserved agony and ruin. **''The People's Rights'' [1909] (1970), pp. 133-134 *We have entered upon a period of crisis and conflict more grave and crucial than any living man has known, and it is a conflict which I think has been more deliberately undertaken and will be more resolutely fought through by both sides than any political conflict that we can recall. Terribly important as economic and constitutional questions may be, the fiscal system of a country and the system of Government which prevails in a country are only means to an end, and that end must be to create conditions favourable to the social and moral welfare of the masses of the citizens. **''The People's Rights'' [1909] (1970), p. 137 *'''We have left the wilderness of phrases and formulas, the cut and dried party issues, and we have broken violently into a world of constructive action.''' It would be an exaggeration to speak of these changes as though they were a revolution. They are not a revolution, but, taken altogether, the policy which has been unfolded to this country during the last two or three years, and which is gripped together and carried forward by the Budget – that policy which the Lords have for the time being brought to a full stop – constitutes by far the largest, most scientific, most deliberate, most resolute attempt at social organization and social advance which any man living can remember. **''The People's Rights'' [1909] (1970), pp. 137-138 *The social conditions of the [[British people]] in the early years of the [[20th century|twentieth century]] cannot be contemplated without deep anxiety... We are at the cross-ways. If we stand on the old happy-go-lucky way, the richer classes ever growing in wealth and in number, and ever declining in responsibility, the very poor remaining plunged or plunging even deeper into helpless, hopeless misery, then I think there is nothing before us but savage strife between class and class, with an increasing disorganization, with an increasing destruction of human strength and human virtue—nothing, in fact, but that dual degeneration which comes from the simultaneous waste of extreme wealth and of extreme want. **''The People's Rights'' [1909] (1970), pp. 138-139 *The greatest danger to the [[British Empire]] and to the British people is not to be found among the enormous fleets and armies of the European Continent, nor in the solemn problems of [[Hindustan]]; it is not in the '[[w:Yellow Peril|Yellow Peril]]' nor the '[[w:Black Peril|Black Peril]]' nor any danger in the wide circuit of [[Colonialism|colonial]] and [[Foreign policy|foreign affairs]]. No, it is here in our midst, close at home, close at hand in the [[Urbanization|vast growing cities]] of [[England]] and [[Scotland]], and in the dwindling and cramped villages of our denuded countryside. It is there you will find the seeds of Imperial ruin and national decay—the unnatural gap between rich and poor, the divorce of the people from the land, the want of proper discipline and training in our youth, the exploitation of boy labour, the physical degeneration which seems to follow so swiftly on civilized [[poverty]], the awful jumbles of an obsolete [[w:English Poor Laws|Poor Law]], the horrid havoc of the liquor traffic, the constant insecurity in the means of subsistence and employment which breaks the heart of many a sober, hard-working man, the absence of any established minimum standard of life and comfort among the workers, and, at the other end, the swift increase of vulgar, joyless luxury—here are the enemies of Britain. Beware lest they shatter the foundations of her power. **''The People's Rights'' [1909] (1970), pp. 139-140 *The Budget, and the policy of the Budget, is the first conscious attempt on the part of the State to build up a better and a more scientific organization of society for the workers of this country. **''The People's Rights'' [1909] (1970), pp. 146-147 *If large classes of the population live under conditions which make it difficult if not impossible for them to keep a home together in decent comfort, if the children are habitually underfed, if the housewife is habitually overstrained, if the bread-winner is under-employed or under-paid, if all are unprotected and uninsured against the common hazards of modern industrial life, if sickness, accident, infirmity, or old age, or unchecked intemperance, or any other curse or affliction, break up the home, as they break up thousands of homes, and scatter the family, as they scatter thousands of families in our land, it is not merely the waste of earning-power or the dispersal of a few poor sticks of furniture, it is the stamina, the virtue, safety, and honour of the British race that are being squandered. **''The People's Rights'' [1909] (1970), p. 147 *[[Liberalism]] supplies at once the higher impulse and the practicable path; it appeals to persons by sentiments of generosity and humanity; it proceeds by courses of moderation. By gradual steps, by steady effort from day to day, from year to year, Liberalism enlists hundreds of thousands upon the side of progress and popular democratic reform whom militant [[Socialism]] would drive into violent Tory reaction... The cause of the [[w:Liberal Party (UK)|Liberal Party]] is the cause of the left-out millions. **''The People's Rights'' [1909] (1970), pp. 152-153 *The whole tendency of civilization is...towards the multiplication of the collective functions of [[society]]. The ever growing complications of civilization create for us new services which have to be undertaken by the State, and create for us an expansion of the existing services. I am of the opinion that the State should increasingly assume the position of the reserve employer of labour. I am very sorry we have not got the railways of this country in our hands. We may do something better with the canals, and we are all agreed that the State must increasingly and earnestly concern itself with the care of the sick and aged, and, above all, of the children. **''The People's Rights'' [1909] (1970), p. 154 *I look forward to the universal establishment of minimum standards of life and labour, and their progressive elevation as the increasing energies of production may permit. I do not think that Liberalism in any circumstances can cut itself off from this fertile field of social effort, and I would recommend you not to be scared in discussing any of these proposals, just because some old woman comes along and tells you they are Socialistic. **''The People's Rights'' [1909] (1970), p. 154 *Roads are made, streets are made, services are improved, electric light turns night into day, [[water]] is brought from reservoirs a hundred miles off in the mountains -- and all the while the landlord sits still. Every one of those improvements is effected by the labour and cost of other people and the taxpayers. To not one of those improvements does the land monopolist, as a land monopolist, contribute, and yet by every one of them the value of his land is enhanced. He renders no service to the community, he contributes nothing to the general welfare, he contributes nothing to the process from which his own enrichment is derived. **Speech to the Scottish Liberal Association, Edinburgh, 18 July 1909 *'''The mood and temper of the public in regard to the treatment of [[crime]] and [[criminals]] is one of the most unfailing tests of the civilisation of any country.''' A calm and dispassionate recognition of the rights of the accused against the State, and even of convicted criminals against the State, a constant heart-searching by all charged with the duty of punishment, a desire and eagerness to rehabilitate in the world of industry all those who have paid their dues in the hard coinage of punishment, tireless efforts towards the discovery of curative and regenerating processes, and an unfaltering faith that there is a treasure, if you can only find it, in the heart of every man—these are the symbols which in the treatment of crime and criminals mark and measure the stored-up strength of a nation, and are the sign and proof of the living virtue in it. **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1910/jul/20/class-iii#column_1354 Speech] in the House of Commons (20 July 1910) * The unnatural and increasingly rapid growth of the feeble-minded and insane classes, coupled as it is with steady restriction among all the thrifty, energetic and superior stocks constitutes a national and race danger which is impossible to exaggerate. I feel that the source from which the stream of [[madness]] is fed should be cut off and sealed before another year has passed. ** ([[wikipedia:Home Secretary|Home Secretary]]) Churchill to [[wikipedia:Prime Minister of the United Kingdom|Prime Minister]] [[wikipedia:H. H. Asquith|Asquith]] on compulsory sterilization of 'the feeble-minded and insane'; cited, as follows (excerpted from longer note) : ''It is worth noting that [[eugenics]] was not a fringe movement of obscure scientists but often led and supported, in Britain and [[United States|America]], by some of the most prominent public figures of the day, across the political divide, such as [[Julian Huxley]], [[Aldous Huxley]], [[D. H. Lawrence|D.H. Lawrence]], [[John Maynard Keynes]] and [[Theodore Roosevelt]]. Indeed, none other than Winston Churchill, whilst Home Secretary in 1910, made the following observation: [text of quote] (quoted in Jones, 1994: 9).'', in ''{{'}}Race{{'}}, sport, and British society'' (2001), Carrington & McDonald, Routledge, Introduction, Note 4, p. 20 <small>{{ISBN|0415246296}}</small> * 'I propose that 100,000 degenerate Britons should be forcibly sterilized and others put in labour camps to halt the decline of the British race.' ** As Home Secretary in a 1910 Departmental Paper. The original document is in the collection of Asquith's papers at the Bodleian Library in Oxford. Also quoted in [[wikipedia:Clive Ponting|Clive Ponting]], "Churchill" (Sinclair Stevenson 1994) *I consider that every workman is well advised to join a [[trade union]]. I cannot conceive how any man standing undefended against the powers that be in this world could be so foolish, if he can possibly spare the money from the maintenance of his family, not to associate himself with an organisation to protect the rights and interests of labour. **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1911/may/30/trade-unions-no-2-bill#column_1017 Speech] in the House of Commons (30 May 1911) *There can be no question of [[British Army|the military forces of the Crown]] "intervening in a labour dispute" in the proper sense of the words. That, so-far as it can be done by the Government, is a function of the [[w:Board_of_Trade|Board of Trade]]. It is only when a trade dispute is accompanied by [[riot]], intimidation, or other violations of the law, or when a serious interruption is caused or likely to be caused to the supply of necessary commodities, that the military can be called on to support the police; and then their duty is to maintain the law, not to interfere in the matter in dispute. **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/written-answers/1911/aug/15/trade-disputes#S5CV0029P0_19110815_CWA_38 Speech] in the House of Commons (15 August 1911) *The main argument which all these years has sustained the [[w:Irish Home Rule movement|Home Rule cause]] has been the continuous and unalterable demand of the Irish people in an overwhelming majority, through every recognised channel of the national will, for the establishment of an Irish Legislature. The Irish claim has never been fairly treated by the statesmen of [[Great Britain]]. They have never tried to deal with [[Ireland]] in the spirit in which both great parties face the large problems of the [[British Empire]]. And yet, why should not Ireland have her chance? Why should not her venerable nationhood enjoy a recognised and respected existence? Why should not her own distinctive point of view obtain a complete expression? Why should the Empire, why should the world at large, be deprived of a new contribution to the sum of human effort? History and poetry, justice and good sense, alike demand that this race, gifted, virtuous, and brave, which has lived so long and has endured so much, should not, in view of her passionate desire, be left out of the family of nations, and should not be lost forever among the indiscriminated multitudes of men.—(Cheers.) What harm could Irish ideas and Irish sentiments and Irish dreams, if given their free play in the Irish Parliament, do to the strong structure of the British power? Would not the arrival of an Irish Parliament upon the brilliantly lighted stage of the modern world be an enrichment and an added glory to the treasures of the British Empire? **Speech in Celtic Park Football Ground in Belfast (8 February 1912), quoted in ''Never Give In! The Best of Winston Churchill's Speeches'' (2003), pp. 48-49 *The [[Royal Navy|British Navy]] is to us a necessity and, from some points of view, the [[w:Imperial_German_Navy|German Navy]] is to them more in the nature of a luxury. Our naval power involves British existence. It is existence to us; it is expansion to them. We cannot menace the peace of a single Continental hamlet, nor do we wish to do so no matter how great and supreme our Navy may become. But, on the other hand, the whole fortunes of our race and Empire, the whole treasure accumulated during so many centuries of sacrifice and achievement would perish and be swept utterly away if our naval supremacy were to be impaired. It is the British Navy which makes Great Britain a great Power. **Speech in Glasgow (9 February 1912), quoted in ''The Times'' (10 February 1912), p. 9 *The ''[[RMS Titanic|Titanic]]'' disaster is the prevailing theme here. The story is a good one. The strict observance of the great traditions of the sea towards women & children reflects nothing but honour upon our civilization... I cannot help feeling proud of our race & its traditions as proved by this event. Boat loads of women & children tossing on the sea — safe & sound — & the rest — Silence. Honour to their memory. **Letter to his wife (18 April 1912), quoted in Randolph S. Churchill, ''Winston S. Churchill, Volume II Companion Part 3 1911–1914'' (1969), pp. 1542-1543 *Any [[Northern Ireland|Ulster]] county, upon the requisition of a tenth of the electors, can, by a simple vote, stand out, for six years, of the whole operation of the [[w:Government of Ireland Act 1914|Home Rule Bill]] and remain exactly as they are... Consider what that offer must cost to the [[w:Irish Parliamentary Party|Irish Nationalist]] Leaders. When I think of the patience, the wisdom, and the eloquence with which [[w:John_Redmond|Mr. Redmond]] has conducted this great historic controversy, and when I think how dearly he and those who are working with him cherish the dream, the hope, of a [[w:United_Ireland|united and self-governing Ireland]], I can measure the cruel pang with which this temporary, but none the less serious, change has been accepted by him and by the great mass of the Irish nation. It is their hope, and I think they are right and wise in hoping, that the day will come, perhaps before that period is passed, when, of their own free will, the Ulster counties that have exercised the option will seek to be incorporated in the ancient Parliament of their motherland (cheers), when that brilliant and courageous speaker, [[w:Joseph_Devlin|Mr. Devlin]], will lead the democracy of [[Belfast]] to take their true position in the councils of a united and progressive [[Ireland]]. (Cheers.) **Speech in Bradford (14 March 1914), quoted in ''The Times'' (16 March 1914), p. 13 *Mr. [[Bonar Law]] says, in effect, if there is civil war in [[Northern Ireland|Ulster]] it will spread to [[England]] too. I agree with him. I go farther... This will be the issue—Whether civil and [[Parliamentary system|Parliamentary government]] in these realms is to be beaten down by the menace of armed force. Whatever sympathies we have for Ulster, we need have no compunction here. It is the old battle-ground of [[History of the United Kingdom|English history]]. It is the same issue fought out 250 years ago on the field of [[w:Battle of Marston Moor|Marston Moor]]. (Cheers.) From the language which is employed it would almost seem that we are face to face with a disposition on the part of some sections of the [[Ruling class|propertied classes]] to subvert [[Parliamentary system|Parliamentary government]] and to challenge the civil and constitutional foundations of society. Against such a mood, wherever it manifests itself in action, there is no lawful measure from which the Government should shrink, and there is no lawful measure from which this Government will shrink. (Cheers.) **Speech in Bradford (14 March 1914), quoted in ''The Times'' (16 March 1914), p. 13 *Bloodshed no doubt is lamentable. I have seen some of it—more perhaps than many of those who talk about it with such levity—but there are worse things than bloodshed, even on an extensive scale. The collapse of the [[Government of the United Kingdom|Central Government of the British Empire]] would be worse. The abandonment by public men of the righteous aims to which they are pledged in honour would be worse. The cowardly abdication of responsibility by the Executive would be worse. The trampling down of that law and order which under the conditions of a civilised State assure to millions, [[w:Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness|life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness]]—all this would be worse than bloodshed. (Cheers.) **Speech in Bradford (14 March 1914), quoted in ''The Times'' (16 March 1914), p. 13 *As long as it effects working men in [[England]] or [[w:Irish_nationalism|Nationalist]] [[Peasant|peasants]] in Ireland, there is no measure of military force which the Tory Party will not readily employ. They denounce all violence except their own. They uphold all law except the law they choose to break. (Cheers.) They always welcome the application of force to others. (Laughter.) But they themselves are to remain immune. They are to select from the Statute-book the laws they will obey and the laws they will resist. They claim to be a party in the State free to use force in all directions, but never to have it applied to themselves. Whether in office or in opposition, as they have very often told us, they are to govern the country. If they cannot do it by the veto of privilege, they will do it by the veto of violence. If constitutional methods serve their ends, they will be Constitutionalists. If law suits their purpose, they will be law-abiding, aye, and law-enforcing. When social order means the order of the Tory Party, when social order means the order of the propertied classes against the wage-earner, when social order means the master against the man, or the landlord against the tenant, order is sacred and holy, order is dear to the heart of the Tory Party and order must be maintained by force. But if it should happen that the Constitution, or the law, or the maintenance of order stand in the path of some Tory project, stand in the path of the realisation of some appetite or ambition which they have conceived, then they vie with the wildest [[Anarchism|anarchists]] in the language which they use against the Constitution, against the law, and against all order and all means of maintaining order. And that is the political doctrine with which they salute the 20th century. (Cheers.) **Speech in Bradford (14 March 1914), quoted in ''The Times'' (16 March 1914), p. 13 *If Ulster seeks peace and fair play she can find it. She knows where to find it. (Cheers.) If Ulstermen extend the hand of friendship it will be clasped by Liberals and by their Nationalist countrymen in all good faith and in all good will; but if there is no wish for peace, if every concession that is made is spurned and exploited, if every effort to meet their views is only to be used as a means of breaking down Home Rule and of barring the way to the rest of Ireland; if Ulster is to become a tool in party calculations, if the civil and Parliamentary systems under which we have dwelt so long and our fathers before us are to be brought to the crude challenge of force, if the Government and the Parliament of this great country and greater Empire are to be exposed to menace and brutality, if all the loose, wanton, and reckless chatter we have been forced to listen to these many months is in the end to disclose a sinister and revolutionary purpose, then I can only say to you: Let us go forward together and put these grave matters to the proof. (Loud cheers.) **Speech in Bradford (14 March 1914), quoted in ''The Times'' (16 March 1914), p. 13 * Everything tends towards [[catastrophe]] and collapse. I am interested, geared up and happy. Is it not horrible to be made like this? ** In a letter to his wife Clemmie, during the build up to World War I. * Like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture. ** On playing golf : as cited in ''The quote verifier: who said what, where, and when'' (2006), Keyes, Macmillan, p. 27 <small>{{ISBN|0312340044}}</small> * '''Sure I am of this, that you have only to endure to conquer.''' You have only to persevere to save yourselves, and to save all those who rely upon you. You have only to go right on, and at the end of the road, be it short or long, victory and honor will be found. ** Remarks at the Guildhall, 4 September 1914, after the first British naval victory of World War I, the sinking of three German cruisers in the [[wikipedia:Battle of Heligoland Bight (1914)|Battle of Heligoland Bight]], as cited in ''Churchill: A Life'', Martin Gilbert, Macmillan (1992), p. 279 : <small>{{ISBN|0805023968}}</small> * I am finished. ** On losing his position at the [[wikipedia:List of Lord High Admirals and First Lords of the Admiralty#First_Lords_of_the_Admiralty_of_the_United_Kingdom.2C_1900.E2.80.931964|Admiralty]] in 1915. Said to [[wikipedia:George Riddell, 1st Baron Riddell|Lord Riddell]], as cited in ''Maxims and Reflections'', Chapter I (On Himself), Churchill, Houghton Mifflin Company (1947). * [The] '''truth is incontrovertible. Panic may resent it, [[ignorance]] may deride it, malice may distort it, but there it is.''' ** Speech in the House of Commons, May 17, 1916 [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1916/may/17/royal-assent#column_1578 "Royal Assent"]. * '''We are not a young people with an innocent record and a scanty inheritance... We have engrossed to ourselves an altogether disproportionate share of the wealth and traffic of the world. We have got all we want in territory, and our claim to be left in the unmolested enjoyment of vast and splendid possessions, mainly acquired by violence, largely maintained by force, often seems less reasonable to others than to us.''' ** In a comment to his British Cabinet colleagues in January 1914 in a confidential paper. Cited in John Darwin, ''The Empire Project'', Cambridge 2010, p268. * Only the final results can prove whether military autocracies or Parliamentary Governments are more likely — take them for all in all — to preserve the welfare and safety of great nations. '''If the result is inconclusive, the conflict will be renewed after an uneasy interval.''' But when an absolute decision is obtained the system of the victors — whoever they are — will probably be adopted to a very great extent by the vanquished. ** On the Great War, ''The Sinister Hypothesis'', The Sunday Pictorial, 9 July 1916. ** Reproduced in ''The Collected Essays of Sir Winston Churchill, Vol I, Churchill at War'', Centenary Edition (1976), Library of Imperial History, p. 91. <small>{{ISBN|0903988429}}</small> * '''The true characteristic of all British strategy lies in the use of amphibious power.''' Not the sea alone, but the land and the sea together: not the Fleet alone, but the Army in the hand of the Fleet. ** ''The Great Amphibian'', The Sunday Pictorial, 23 July 1916. ** Reproduced in ''The Collected Essays of Sir Winston Churchill, Vol I, Churchill at War'', Centenary Edition (1976), Library of Imperial History, p. 101. <small>{{ISBN|0903988429}}</small> * The German hope is that if the frontiers can be unshakeably maintained for another year, a peace can be obtained which will relieve [[German Empire|Germany]] from the consequences of the hideous catastrophe in which she has plunged the world, and leave her free to scheme and prepare a decisive stroke in another generation. '''Unless Germany is beaten in a manner which leaves no room for doubt or dispute, unless she is convinced by the terrible logic of events that the glory of her people can never be achieved by violent means, unless her war-making capacity after the war is sensibly diminished, a renewal of the conflict, after an uneasy and malevolent truce, seems unavoidable.''' ** ''The War by Land and Sea, Part IV'', The London Magazine, January 1917. ** Reproduced in ''The Collected Essays of Sir Winston Churchill, Vol I, Churchill at War'', Centenary Edition (1976), Library of Imperial History, p. 147-8. <small>{{ISBN|0903988429}}</small> * I think a curse should rest on me — because I love this war. I know it's smashing and shattering the lives of thousands every moment — and yet — I can't help it — I enjoy every second of it. ** A letter to a friend (1916) * No compromise on the main purpose; no peace till victory; no pact with unrepentant wrong -- that is the Declaration of July 4th, 1918. ** At a joint Anglo-American rally in Westminster, July 4, 1918, speaking against calls for a negotiated truce with Germany. As printed in ''War aims & peace ideals: selections in prose & verse'' (1919), edited by Tucker Brooke & Henry Seidel Canby, Yale University Press, p. 138 *Why ''should'' anybody make a great fortune out of the war? While everybody has been serving the country, profiteers and contractors & shipping speculators have gained fortunes of a gigantic character. Why shd we be bound to bear the unpopularity of defending old [[w:Walter_Runciman|Runciman]]'s ill-gotten gains? I wd reclaim everything above £10,000 (to let the small fry off) in reduction of the War Debt. **Letter to [[David Lloyd George]] (21 November 1918), quoted in Paul Addison, ''Churchill On The Home Front, 1900–1955'' (1992), p. 197 * One might as well legalise [[Homosexuality|sodomy]] as recognise the [[Bolsheviks]]. ** Paris, 24 January 1919. ''Churchill: A Life''. Gilbert, Martin (1992). New York: Holt, p. 408. <small>{{ISBN|9780805023961}}</small> * The aid which we can give to those [[Russia|Russian]] armies which are now engaged in [[Russian Civil War|fighting]] against the foul baboonery of [[Bolsheviks|Bolshevism]] can be given by arms, munitions, equipment, and by the technical services. It is a malicious statement against the interests of the British Empire to suggest that it is necessary for us to prolong the action of the Military Service Act because of enterprises which we have on foot in Russia. ** Mansion House speech (19 February 1919)<ref>Robert Rhodes James, ed., Winston S. Churchill: His Complete Speeches 1897-1963 vol. 3, 1914-1922, vol. 3 (New York: Chelsea House Publishers, 1974), 2671.</ref><ref>Norman Rose: "Churchill: An Unruly Life", pg 146</ref> * I do not understand this squeamishness about the use of gas. We have definitely adopted the position at the [[Paris Peace Conference (1919)|Peace Conference]] of arguing in favour of the retention of gas as a permanent method of warfare. '''It is sheer affectation to lacerate a man with the poisonous fragment of a bursting shell and to boggle at making his eyes water by means of lachrymatory gas. I am strongly in favour of using poisoned gas against uncivilised tribes.''' The moral effect should be so good that the loss of life should be reduced to a minimum. It is not necessary to use only the most deadly gases: gases can be used which cause great inconvenience and would spread a lively terror and yet would leave no serious permanent effects on most of those affected '''... We cannot, in any circumstances acquiesce to the non-utilisation of any weapons which are available to procure a speedy termination of the disorder which prevails on the frontier.''' ** Statement as president of the Air Council, War Office Departmental Minute (1919-05-12); Churchill Papers 16/16, [[wikipedia:Churchill Archives Centre|Churchill Archives Centre]], [[wikipedia:Cambridge, England|Cambridge]]. *: Many argue that quotes from this passage are often taken out of context, because Churchill is distinguishing between non-lethal agents and the deadly gasses used in [[wikipedia:World War I|World War I]] and emphasizing the use of non-lethal weapons; however Churchill is not clearly ruling out the use of lethal gases, simply stating that "it is not necessary to use only the most deadly". It is sometimes claimed that gas killed many young and elderly [[wikipedia:Kurd|Kurds]] and [[wikipedia:Arab|Arabs]] when the [[wikipedia:Royal Air Force|RAF]] bombed rebelling villages in [[wikipedia:Iraq|Iraq]] in 1920 during the British occupation. For more information on this matter, see [[wikipedia:Gas in Mesopotamia|Gas in Mesopotamia]]. *Germany will recover and Russian will rise... our policy must be directed to prevent a union between German militarism and Russian Bolshevism. **''The Fortnightly Review'', July 1919, William Harbutt Dawson, "The Liabilities of the Treaty," p. 10, speech in Dundee on May 14, 1919 * '''[[Vladimir Lenin|Lenin]] was sent into [[Russia]] by the Germans in the same way that you might send a phial containing a culture of [[w:Typhoid|typhoid]] or [[w:Cholera|cholera]] to be poured into the water supply of a great city, and it worked with amazing accuracy.''' ** On [[wikipedia:Vladimir Lenin|Vladimir Ilyich Lenin]], in the House of Commons, November 5, 1919 as cited in ''Churchill by Himself'' (2008), Ed. Langworth, PublicAffairs, p. 355 <small>{{ISBN|1586486381}}</small> * First there are the [[Judaism|Jews]] who, dwelling in every country throughout the world, identify themselves with that country, enter into its national life and, while adhering faithfully to their own religion, regard themselves as citizens in the fullest sense of the State which has received them. Such a Jew living in England would say, 'I am an English man practising the Jewish faith.' This is a worthy conception, and useful in the highest degree. We in Great Britain well know that during the great struggle the influence of what may be called the 'National Jews' in many lands was cast preponderatingly on the side of the Allies; and in our own Army Jewish soldiers have played a most distinguished part, some rising to the command of armies, others winning the [[wikipedia:Victoria Cross|Victoria Cross]] for valour. There is no need to exaggerate the part played in the creation of Bolshevism and in the actual bringing about of the [[Russian Revolution]], by these international and for the most part atheistical Jews, it is certainly a very great one; it probably outweighs all others. With the notable exception of [[Vladimir Lenin|Lenin]], the majority of the leading figures are Jews. Moreover, the principal inspiration and driving power comes from the Jewish leaders. Thus [[w:Georgy_Chicherin|Tchitcherin]], a pure Russian, is eclipsed by his nominal subordinate [[w:Maxim_Litvinov|Litvinoff]], and the influence of [[Russians]] like [[Nikolai Bukharin|Bukharin]] or Lunacharski cannot be compared with the power of [[Leon Trotsky|Trotsky]], or of [[Grigory Zinoviev|Zinovieff]], the Dictator of the Red Citadel (Petrograd) or of Krassin or [[Karl Radek|Radek]] -- all Jews. In the Soviet institutions the predominance of Jews is even more astonishing. And the prominent, if not indeed the principal, part in the system of terrorism applied by the Extraordinary Commissions for Combating Counter-Revolution has been taken by Jews, and in some notable cases by Jewesses. The same evil prominence was obtained by Jews in the brief period of terror during which [[w:Bela_Kun|Bela Kun]] ruled in [[Hungary]]. The same phenomenon has been presented in Germany (especially in Bavaria), so far as this madness has been allowed to prey upon the temporary prostration of the German people. Although in all these countries there are many non-Jews every whit as bad as the worst of the Jewish revolutionaries, the part played by the latter in proportion to their numbers in the population is astonishing. ** "Zionism versus Bolshevism", ''Illustrated Sunday Herald'' (February 1920) *: (A note: Churchill viewed Bolshevism as a heavily Jewish phenomenon. He contrasted the Jewish role in the creation of Bolshevism with a more positive view of the role that Jews had played in England.[http://richardlangworth.com/enemies-of-civilization-misquoting-churchill]). * In violent opposition to all this sphere of Jewish effort rise the schemes of the International Jews. The adherents of this sinister confederacy are mostly men reared up among the unhappy populations of countries where Jews are persecuted on account of their race. Most, if not all of them, have forsaken the faith of their forefathers, and divorced from their minds all spiritual hopes of the next world. This movement among the Jews is not new. From the days of [[w:Spartacus|Spartacus]]-[[Adam Weishaupt|Weishaupt]] to those of [[Karl Marx]], and down to [[Leon Trotsky|Trotsky]] (Russia), Bela Kun (Hungary), [[Rosa Luxemburg]] (Germany), and [[Emma Goldman]] (United States), this world-wide [[conspiracy]] for the overthrow of civilisation and for the reconstitution of society on the basis of arrested development, of envious malevolence, and impossible equality, has been steadily growing. It played, as a modern writer, Mrs. Webster, has so ably shown, a definitely recognisable part in the tragedy of the [[French Revolution]]. It has been the mainspring of every subversive movement during the [[19th century|Nineteenth Century]]; and now at last this band of extraordinary personalities from the underworld of the great cities of Europe and America have gripped the [[Russians|Russian people]] by the hair of their heads and have become practically the undisputed masters of that enormous empire. ** Rt. Hon. Winston Churchill 'Bolshevism versus Zionism; a struggle for the soul of the Jewish people' in ''Illustrated Daily Herald'', 8 February 1920. * However we may dwell upon the difficulties of [[w:Reginald_Dyer|General Dyer]] during the [[wikipedia:Jallianwala_Bagh_massacre|Amritsar riots]], upon the anxious and critical situation in the [[Punjab]], upon the danger to Europeans throughout that province, ... one tremendous fact stands out – I mean the slaughter of nearly 400 persons and the wounding of probably three to four times as many, at the Jallian Wallah Bagh on 13th April. That is an episode which appears to me to be without precedent or parallel in the modern history of the British Empire. ... '''It is an extraordinary event, a monstrous event, an event which stands in singular and sinister isolation.''' ** Speech in the House of Commons, July 8, 1920 [http://lachlan.bluehaze.com.au/churchill/am-text.htm "Amritsar"] ; at the time, Churchill was serving as [[wikipedia:Secretary of State for War|Secretary of State for War]] under Prime Minister [[wikipedia:David Lloyd George|David Lloyd George]] * Men who take up arms against the State must expect at any moment to be fired upon. Men who take up arms unlawfully cannot expect that the troops will wait until they are quite ready to begin the conflict. ** Speech in the House of Commons, July 8, 1920 [http://lachlan.bluehaze.com.au/churchill/am-text.htm "Amritsar"] ; at the time, Churchill was serving as [[wikipedia:Secretary of State for War|Secretary of State for War]] under Prime Minister [[wikipedia:David Lloyd George|David Lloyd George]] * Frightfulness is not a remedy known to the ''British Pharmacopaeia''. ** Speech in the House of Commons, July 8, 1920 [http://lachlan.bluehaze.com.au/churchill/am-text.htm "Amritsar"] ; at the time, Churchill was serving as [[wikipedia:Secretary of State for War|Secretary of State for War]] under Prime Minister [[wikipedia:David Lloyd George|David Lloyd George]] * I yield to no one in my [[Anti-communism|detestation of Bolshevism]], and of the revolutionary violence which precedes it. ... But my hatred of Bolshevism and Bolsheviks is not founded on their silly system of [[economics]], or their absurd doctrine of an impossible equality. It arises from the bloody and devastating [[terrorism]] which they practice in every land into which they have broken, and by which alone their criminal regime can be maintained. ... Governments who have seized upon power by violence and by usurpation have often resorted to [[terrorism]] in their desperate efforts to keep what they have stolen, but the august and venerable structure of the British Empire ... does not need such aid. Such ideas are absolutely foreign to the British way of doing things. ** Speech in the House of Commons, July 8, 1920 [http://lachlan.bluehaze.com.au/churchill/am-text.htm "Amritsar"] * Let me marshal the facts. '''The crowd was unarmed, except with bludgeons. It was not attacking anybody or anything. It was holding a seditious meeting. When fire had been opened upon it to disperse it, it tried to run away. Pinned up in a narrow place considerably smaller than [[w:Trafalgar_Square|Trafalgar Square]], with hardly any exits, and packed together so that one bullet would drive through three or four bodies, the people ran madly this way and the other. When the fire was directed upon the centre, they ran to the sides. The fire was then directed to the sides. Many threw themselves down on the ground, and the fire was then directed on the ground. This was continued for 8 or 10 minutes ...''' [i]f the road had not been so narrow, the machine guns and the armoured cars would have joined in. Finally, when the ammunition had reached the point that only enough remained to allow for the safe return of the troops, and after 379 persons ... had been killed, and when most certainly 1,200 or more had been wounded, the troops, at whom not even a stone had been thrown, swung round and marched away. ... We have to make it absolutely clear ... that this is not the British way of doing business. ... Our reign, in India or anywhere else, has never stood on the basis of physical force alone, and it would be fatal to the British Empire if we were to try to base ourselves only upon it. ** Speech in the House of Commons, July 8, 1920 [http://lachlan.bluehaze.com.au/churchill/am-text.htm "Amritsar"] *The scientific apparatus which has rendered possible the great expansion of the populations of the world in modern times is the result of [[Capitalism|capitalist]] production by individual effort. And from much earlier times the power of men to form themselves into civilised communities depended upon the observance of laws which secured personal possession of the fruits of work, or enterprise, or thrift, which procured respect for contracts entered into between man and man, which gave even greater prizes for greater efforts or greater aptitudes. These conceptions were based on the primary desire of man to seek his own benefit and that of his family. By harnessing this desire into laws, capable, no doubt, of infinite improvement, the motive power of material progress was obtained. **'Mr Wells and Bolshevism: A Reply', ''The Sunday Express'' (5 December 1920), quoted in Paul Addison, ''Churchill On The Home Front, 1900–1955'' (1992), p. 440 * I cannot pretend to feel impartial about the colours. I rejoice with the brilliant ones, and am genuinely sorry for the poor browns. ** In "Painting as a Pastime", first published in the Strand Magazine in two parts (December 1921/January 1922), cited in ''Churchill by Himself'' (2008), ed. Langworth, PublicAffairs, p. 456 <small>{{ISBN|1586486381}}</small> * He ought to be lain bound hand and foot at the gates of [[Delhi]], and then trampled on by an enormous elephant with the new Viceroy seated on its back. ** Referring to Mahatma Gandhi in conversation with Edwin Montagu, Secretary of State for India, 1921.<ref>Barczewsk, Stephanie, John Eglin, Stephen Heathorn, Michael Silvestri, and Michelle Tusan. '''Britain Since 1688: A Nation in the World''', p. 301</ref><ref>Toye, Richard. Churchill's Empire: The World That Made Him and the World He Made, p. 172</ref> * Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and the glory of the climb. ** In "Painting as a Pastime", the Strand Magazine (December 1921/January 1922), cited in ''Churchill by Himself'' (2008), ed. Langworth, PublicAffairs, p. 568 <small>{{ISBN|1586486381}}</small> * Anyone can rat, but it takes a certain amount of ingenuity to re-rat. ** Remark in 1923 after rejoining the Conservatives, having left them earlier to join the Liberals; reported in Kay Halle, ''Irrepressible Churchill'' (1966), p. 52–53. Other sources say this remark was made in 1924. *The enthronement in office of a Socialist Government will be a serious national misfortune such as has usually befallen great States only on the morrow of defeat in war. It will delay the return of prosperity; it will check enterprise and impair credit; it will open a period of increasing political confusion and disturbance. **Letter to a correspondent shortly before the Labour Party formed its first government (17 January 1924), quoted in ''The Times'' (18 January 1924), p. 14 * Might a bomb no bigger than an orange be found to possess a secret power to destroy a whole block of buildings — nay to concentrate the force of a thousand tons of cordite and blast a township at a stroke?. ** Pall Mall Gazette (1924) on HG Wells' suggestion of an atomic bomb, in [http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-33365776 "BBC Article"] *By abandoning the [[w:Singapore_Naval_Base|naval base]] at [[Singapore]] the Socialist Government has made it impossible for the British Navy to enter the [[w:Pacific_Ocean|Pacific]], and consequently to afford the slightest assistance to [[Australia]] and [[New Zealand]], no matter how terrible their need might be. Yet almost at the same time that the British Navy is stripped of its old power of defending the British Empire we know well that they would gladly hawk it round Europe to be the drudge of an international organization and fight in every quarrel but its own. **Speech in Edinburgh (25 September 1924), quoted in ''The Times'' (26 September 1924), p. 14 *Judged by every standard which history has applied to Governments, the Soviet Government of Russia is one of the worst tyrannies that has ever existed in the world. (Cheers.) It accords no political rights. It rules by terror. It punishes political opinions. It suppresses [[free speech]]. It tolerates no [[newspapers]] but its own. It persecutes [[Christianity]] with a zeal and a cunning never equalled since the times of the [[Roman Empire|Roman Emperors]]. It is engaged at this moment in trampling down the peoples of [[Georgia (country)|Georgia]] and executing their leaders by hundreds. It is for this process that [[Ramsay MacDonald|Mr. MacDonald]] asks us to make ourselves responsible. We are to render these tyrannies possible by lending to their authors money to pay for the ammunition to murder the Georgians, to enable the [[Marxism–Leninism|Soviet sect]] to keep its stranglehold on the dumb Russian nation, and to poison the world, and so far as they can, the British Empire, with their filthy [[propaganda]]. (Cheers.) That is what we are asked to take upon ourselves. It is an outrage on the British name. **Speech in Edinburgh (25 September 1924), quoted in ''The Times'' (26 September 1924), p. 14 *But contrast the attitude of the Socialist Government towards their Bolshevist friends and their attitude to the great self-governing Dominions of the Crown. To the enemies of Britain, of civilization, of freedom, to those who deserted us in the crises of the war—smiles, compliments, caresses, cash. But for [[Canada]], [[Australia]], [[New Zealand]], [[South Africa]], who sent their brave men to fight and die by scores of thousands, who never flinched and never wearied, who are bone of our bone and flesh of our flesh—to them nothing but frigid repulsion. Our bread for the Bolshevist serpent; our aid for the foreigner of every country; our favours for the Socialists all over the world who have no country; but for our own daughter States across the oceans, on whom the future of the British island and nation depends, only the cold stones of indifference, aversion, and neglect. (Cheers.) That is the policy with which the Socialist Government confronts us, and against that policy we will strive to marshal the unconquerable might of Britain. **Speech in Edinburgh (25 September 1924), quoted in ''The Times'' (26 September 1924), p. 14 [[File:Nagasakibomb.jpg|220px|thumb|Surely if a sense of self-preservation still exists among men...the prevention of the supreme catastrophe ought to be the paramount object of all endeavour.]] * [[Mankind]] has never been in this position before. '''Without having improved appreciably in virtue or enjoying wiser guidance, it has got into its hands for the first time the tools by which it can unfailingly accomplish [[Human extinction|its own extermination]]'''. That is the point in human destinies to which all the glories and toils of men have at last led them. They would do well to pause and ponder upon their new responsibilities...Surely if a sense of self-preservation still exists among men, '''if the will to live resides not merely in individuals or nations but in humanity as a whole, the prevention of the supreme catastrophe ought to be the paramount object of all endeavour.''' ** ''Shall We All Commit Suicide?'', 1924 * I am most anxious that in dealing with matters which every Member knows are extremely delicate matters, I should not use any phrase or expression which would cause offence to our friends and Allies on the Continent or across the [[w:Atlantic_Ocean|Atlantic Ocean]]. ** Speaking on inter-Allied debts in the House of Commons (10 December 1924); reported in ''Parliamentary Debates (Commons)'' (1925), 5th series, vol. 179, col. 259. *'''To improve is to change, so to be perfect is to have changed often.''' ** Winston Churchill (June 23, 1925), ''His complete speeches, 1897–1963'', edited by Robert Rhodes James, Chelsea House ed., vol. 4 (1922–1928), p. 3706. During a debate with Philip Snowden, 1st Viscount Snowden. ** Often misquoted as: '''To improve is to change, to be perfect is to change often.''' *The follies of Socialism are inexhaustible... Even among themselves they have twenty discordant factions who hate one another even more than they hate you and me. Their insincerity! Can you not feel a sense of disgust at the arrogant presumption of superiority of these people?.... Then when it comes to practice, down they fall with a wallop not only to the level of ordinary human beings but to a level which is even far below the average. **''Winston S. Churchill, His Complete Speeches 1897-1963'', Vol. IV, p. 3821, Town Hall, Battersea (11 December 1925) * Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong only because he has remained silent. ** ''Winston S. Churchill: His Complete Speeches'' (1974), Chelsea House, Volume IV: 1922–1928, p. 3462 <small>{{ISBN|0835206939}}</small> *Let them [Socialists] abandon the utter fallacy, the grotesque, erroneous, fatal blunder of believing that by limiting the enterprise of man, by riveting the shackles of a false equality... they will increase the well-being of the world. **''Winston S. Churchill, His Complete Speeches 1897-1963'', Vol. IV, p. 3821, (21 January 1926) *I have never taken the view which seems to give so much pleasure to morbid and misanthropic minds, a view which they have spread so widely through the United States, that Britain is "down and out," that the foundations of her commercial and industrial greatness have been sapped, that the stamina of her people is impaired, that her workmen are mutinous and lazy, that her employers are pleasure-loving and benighted, that her institutions are crumbling, and that her Empire is falling to pieces. **Speech in Ulster Hall, Belfast (2 March 1926), quoted in ''The Times'' (3 March 1926), p. 21 * I decline utterly to be impartial as between the fire brigade and the fire. ** Speech in the House of Commons, July 7, 1926 [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1926/jul/07/emergency-services#column_2216 "Emergency Services"], responding to criticism that he edited the [[wikipedia:British Gazette|British Gazette]] in a biased manner during the [[wikipedia:1926 United Kingdom general strike|General Strike]], as cited in ''The Yale Book of Quotations'' (2006), ed. Fred R. Shapiro, Yale University Press, p. 152 <small>{{ISBN|0300107986}}</small> * Make your minds perfectly clear that if ever you let loose upon us again a [[general strike]], we will loose upon you &#x2014; another "[[wikipedia:British Gazette|British Gazette]]." ** Speech in the House of Commons, July 7, 1926 [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1926/jul/07/emergency-services#column_2218 "Emergency Services"] ; at this time, Churchill was serving as [[wikipedia:Chancellor of the Exchequer|Chancellor of the Excheqer]] under Prime Minister [[wikipedia:Stanley Baldwin|Stanley Baldwin]]. ** Threatening the Labour Party and trade union movement with a return of the Government-published newspaper he edited during that May's General Strike. * A [[sheep]] in sheep's clothing. ** On [[wikipedia:Ramsay MacDonald|Ramsay MacDonald]]. This is often taken as referring to [[wikipedia:Clement Attlee|Clement Attlee]], but Scottish historian [[wikipedia:Denis William Brogan|D. W. Brogan]] is cited in ''Safire's Political Dictionary'' (2008), [[wikipedia:William Safire|William Safire]], Oxford University Press US, p. 352 <small>{{ISBN|0195343344}}</small> as follows: 'Sir Winston Churchill never said of Clement Attlee that he was a sheep in sheep's clothing. I have this on the excellent authority of Sir Winston himself. The phrase was totally inapplicable to Mr. Attlee. It was applicable, and applied, to J. Ramsay MacDonald, a very different kind of Labour leader.' * What a [[man]]! I have lost my [[heart]]! &hellip; If I were [[Italians|Italian]], I am sure I would have been with you entirely from the beginning of your victorious struggle against the bestial appetites and passion of [[Leninism]]. &hellip; Your movement has rendered a service to the whole world. The greatest fear that ever tormented every Democratic or Socialist leader was that of being outbid or surpassed by some other leader more extreme than himself. It has been said that a continual movement to the Left, a kind of fatal landslide toward the abyss, has been the character of all revolutions. Italy has shown that there is a way to combat subversive forces. ** On [[Benito Mussolini]] and Italian Fascism, in a press statement from [[Rome]] (20 January 1927), quoted in ''Churchill by Himself : The Definitive Collection of Quotations'' (2011) by Richard Langworth, p. 169 * [[Italy]] has shown that there is a way of fighting the subversive forces which can rally the masses of the people, properly led, to value and wish to defend the honour and stability of stabilized society. She has provided the necessary antidote to the Russian poison. Hereafter no great nation will be unprovided with an ultimate means of protection against the cancerous growth of Bolshevism. ** Press statement from [[Rome]] (20 January 1927), as quoted in ''Introduction: A Political-Biographical Sketch'' by [[Tariq Ali|Tariq Ali]] in ''Class War Conservatism and Other Essays'' (2015) by [[w:Ralph Miliband|Ralph Miliband]], with date of quote given in ''Go Betweens for Hitler'' by Karina Urbach. * Although trade is important, there are other and stronger bonds of Empire, and since the [[w:1926 Imperial Conference|Conference of 1926]] nothing but common interests and traditions have held the Empire together. But those are mighty ties, incomprehensible to Europeans, which have drawn millions of men from the far corners of the earth to the battlefields of [[France]], and we must trust to them to continue to draw us together. ** Speech in Toronto (16 August 1929), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''The Churchill Documents, Volume 12: The Wilderness Years, 1929–1935'' (1981; 2012), p. 51 * Cultured people are merely the glittering scum which floats upon the deep river of production. ** Quoted in Randolph Churchill's diary entry (24 August 1929), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''The Churchill Documents, Volume 12: The Wilderness Years, 1929–1935'' (1981; 2012), p. 55 * The rescue of India from ages of barbarism, tyranny, and internecine war and its slow but ceaseless forward march to civilisation constitute upon the whole the finest achievement of our history. ** Article for the ''Daily Mail'' (16 November 1929), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 356 * Dominion status can certainly not be attained by a community which brands and treats sixty millions of its members, fellow human beings, toiling at their side, as '[[Dalit|Untouchables]]', whose approach is an affront and whose very presence is pollution. Dominion status can certainly not be attained while India is a prey to fierce racial and religious dissensions and when the withdrawal of British protection would mean the immediate resumption of mediaeval wars. It cannot be attained while the political classes in India represent only an insignificant fraction of the three hundred and fifty millions for whose welfare we are responsible. ** Article for the ''Daily Mail'' (16 November 1929), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), pp. 356–357 ===''[[w:The World Crisis|The World Crisis]]'' (1923–1931)=== * [[Arabs]] would have sat in the dark forever had not the [[Zionism|Zionist]] [[Engineering|engineers]] harnessed the [[w:Jordan_river|Jordan river]] for [[Electricity|electrification]]. Now they swarm into [[Palestine]] in seeking the light. (1922) *The [[World War I|Great War]] through which we have passed differed from all ancient wars in the immense power of the combatants and their fearful agencies of destruction, and from all modern wars in the utter ruthlessness with which it was fought. ... [[Europe]] and large parts of [[Asia]] and [[Africa]] became one vast battlefield on which after years of struggle not armies but nations broke and ran. When all was over, [[Torture]] and [[w:Cannibalism|Cannibalism]] were the only two expedients that the civilized, scientific, [[Christendom|Christian States]] had been able to deny themselves: and these were of doubtful utility. ** ''The World Crisis, 1911–1914'' : Chapter I (The Vials of Wrath), Churchill, Butterworth (1923), pp. 10-11 * We may now picture this great Fleet, with its flotillas and cruisers, steaming slowly out of Portland Harbour, '''squadron by squadron, scores of gigantic castles of steel wending their way across the misty, shining sea, like giants bowed in anxious thought.''' We may picture them again as darkness fell, eighteen miles of warships running at high speed and in absolute blackness through the narrow Straits, bearing with them into the broad waters of the North the safeguard of considerable affairs....'''The king's ships were at sea.''' ** ''The World Crisis, 1911–1914'' : Chapter IX (The Crisis), Churchill, Butterworth (1923), pp. 212-213 *He was a cut flower in a vase; fair to see, yet bound to die, and to die very soon if the water was not constantly renewed. **Concerning Admiral von Spee’s East Asia Squadron **''The World Crisis, 1911–1914'' : Chapter XIII (On The Oceans), Churchill, Butterworth (1923), p. 295 *'''There is always a strong case for doing nothing, especially for doing nothing yourself.''' ** ''The World Crisis, 1911–1914'' : Chapter XV (Antwerp), Churchill, Butterworth (1923), p. 340 * Eaten bread is soon forgotten. Dangers which are warded off by effective precautions and foresight are never even remembered. ** ''The World Crisis, 1911–1914'' : Chapter XVII (The Grand Fleet and the Submarine Alarm), Churchill, Butterworth (1923), p. 399 * Mechanical not less than strategic conditions had combined to produce at this early period in the war a deadlock both on sea and land. The strongest fleet was paralysed in its offensive by the menace of the mine and the torpedo. The strongest army was arrested in its advance by the [[machine gun]]......'''The mechanical danger must be overcome by a mechanical remedy'''.....Something must be discovered which would render ships immune from the torpedo, and make it unnecessary for soldiers to bare their breasts to the machine-gun hail. ** ''The World Crisis, 1915'' : Chapter I (The Deadlock in the West), Churchill, Butterworth (1923), pp. 22-23 * '''[[w:John_Jellicoe|Jellicoe]] was the only man on either side who could lose the war in an afternoon.''' ** ''The World Crisis, 1916-1918 Part I'' : Chapter V (Jutland: The Preliminaries), Churchill, Butterworth (1927), pp. 112 * Is this the end? Is it to be merely a chapter in a cruel and senseless story? Will a new generation in their turn be immolated to square the black accounts of the Teuton and Gaul? Will our children bleed and gasp again in devastated lands? Or will there spring from the very fires of conflict that reconciliation of the three giant combatants, which would unite their genius and secure to each in safety and freedom a share in rebuilding the glory of Europe. ** ''The World Crisis, 1916-1918 Part II'' : Chapter XXIII (Victory), Churchill, Butterworth (1927), p. 544 * An infected Russia, a plague-bearing Russia; a Russia of armed hordes not only smiting with bayonet and with cannon, but accompanied and preceded by swarms of typhus-bearing vermin which slew the bodies of men, and political doctrines which destroyed the health and even the souls of nations. ** ''The Aftermath'', by Winston Churchill (1929), p. 274 * Great Britain could have no other object but to use her whole influence and resources consistently over a long period of years to weave [[France]] and [[Weimar Republic|Germany]] so closely together economically, socially and morally, as to prevent the occasion of quarrels and make their causes die in a realization of mutual prosperity and interdependence. ** ''The World Crisis, The Aftermath'' : Chapter XX (The End of the World Crisis), Churchill, Butterworth (1929), p. 457 * The choice was clearly open: crush them with vain and unstinted force, or try to give them what they want. These were the only alternatives, and though each had ardent advocates, most people were unprepared for either. Here indeed was the Irish spectre — horrid and inexorcisable. ** ''The World Crisis, Volume V : the Aftermath'' (1929), Churchill, Butterworth (London). === ''[[wikipedia:My Early Life|My Early Life: A Roving Commission]]'' (1930) === * She shone for me like the Evening Star. I loved her dearly — but at a distance. ** On his mother, Lady Randolph Churchill, Chapter 1 (Childhood). * Where my reason, imagination or interest were not engaged, I would not or I could not learn. ** Chapter 1 (Childhood). * Thus I got into my bones the essential structure of the ordinary British sentence, which is a noble thing. ** On studying English rather than Latin at school, Chapter 2 (Harrow). * No hour of life is lost that is spent in the saddle. ** ''My early life, 1874–1904'' (1930), Churchill, Winston S., p. 45 (1996 Touchstone Edition), <small>{{ISBN|0684823454}}</small> * Headmasters have powers at their disposal with which Prime Ministers have never yet been invested. ** Chapter 2 (Harrow). * [[William Ewart Gladstone|Mr. Gladstone]] read [[Homer]] for fun, which I thought served him right. ** Chapter 2 (Harrow). * I then had one of the three or four long intimate conversations with him which are all I can boast. ** On his father, [[Lord Randolph Churchill]], Chapter 3 (Examinations). * In retrospect these years form not only the least agreeable, but the only barren and unhappy period of my life. I was happy as a child with my toys in my nursery. I have been happier every year since I became a man. But this interlude of school makes a sombre grey patch upon the chart of my journey. It was an unending spell of worries that did not then seem petty, of toil uncheered by fruition; a time of discomfort, restriction and purposeless monotony. This train of thought must not lead me to exaggerate the character of my school days ... Harrow was a very good school ... Most of the boys were very happy ... I can only record the fact that, no doubt through my own shortcomings, I was an exception. ... I was on the whole considerably discouraged ... All my contemporaries and even younger boys seemed in every way better adapted to the conditions of our little world. They were far better both at the games and at the lessons. It is not pleasant to feel oneself so completely outclassed and left behind at the very beginning of the race. ** Chapter 3 (Examinations). * Certainly the prolonged education indispensable to the progress of [[Society]] is not natural to mankind. It cuts against the grain. A boy would like to follow his father in pursuit of food or prey. He would like to be doing serviceable things so far as his utmost strength allowed. He would like to be earning [[wages]] however small to help to keep up the home. He would like to have some leisure of his own to use or misuse as he pleased. He would ask little more than the right to work or starve. And then perhaps in the evenings a real love of learning would come to those who are worthy — and why try to stuff in those who are not? — and knowledge and thought would open the 'magic casements' of the mind. ** Chapter 3 (Examinations). * I had a feeling once about [[Mathematics]], that I saw it all—Depth beyond depth was revealed to me—the Byss and the Abyss. I saw, as one might see the transit of [[Venus]]—or even the Lord Mayor's Show, a [[quantity]] passing through [[infinity]] and changing its sign from plus to minus. I saw exactly how it happened and why the tergiversation was inevitable: and how the one step involved all the others. It was like politics. But it was after dinner and I let it go! ** Chapter 3 (Examinations), p. 27. * Although always prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it should be postponed. ** Chapter 4 (Sandhurst), p. 72. * Come on now all you young men, all over the world. You are needed more than ever now to fill the gap of a generation shorn by the war. You have not an hour to lose. You must take your places in Life's fighting line. Twenty to twenty-five! These are the years! Don't be content with things as they are. 'The earth is yours and the fulness thereof.' Enter upon your inheritance, accept your responsibilities. Raise the glorious flags again, advance them upon the new enemies, who constantly gather upon the front of the human army, and have only to be assaulted to be overthrown. Don't take No for an answer. Never submit to failure. Do not be fobbed off with mere personal success or acceptance. You will make all kinds of mistakes; but as long as you are generous and true, and also fierce, you cannot hurt the world or even seriously distress her. ** End of Chapter 4 (Sandhurst). ** The Netflix movie series "The Crown" (2016) attributes the following, modified citation to this source: "Hear this, young men and women everywhere, and proclaim it far and wide. The earth is yours and the fullness thereof. Be kind but be fierce. You're needed now more than ever before. Take up the mantle of change for this is your time." * I wonder whether any other generation has seen such astounding revolutions of data and values as those through which we have lived. Scarcely anything material or established which I was brought up to believe was permanent and vital, has lasted. Everything I was sure or taught to be sure was impossible, has happened. ** Chapter 5 (The Fourth Hussars). * I have no doubt that the Romans planned the time-table of their days far better than we do. They rose before the sun at all seasons. Except in wartime we never see the dawn. Sometimes we see sunset. The message of sunset is sadness; the message of dawn is hope. The rest and the spell of sleep in the middle of the day refresh the human frame far more than a long night. We were not made by Nature to work, or even play, from eight o'clock in the morning till midnight. We throw a strain upon our system which is unfair and improvident. For every purpose of business or pleasure, mental or physical, we ought to break our days and our marches into two. ** Chapter 6 (Cuba). * I do think unpunctuality is a vile habit, and all my life I have tried to break myself of it. ** Chapter 7 (Hounslow). * I now began for the first time to envy those young cubs at the [[Universities|university]] who had fine scholars to tell them what was what; professors who had devoted their lives to mastering and focusing ideas in every branch of learning; who were eager to distribute the treasures they had gathered before they were overtaken by the night. But now I pity undergraduates, when I see what frivolous lives many of them lead in the midst of precious fleeting opportunity. After all, a man's Life must be nailed to a cross either of Thought or Action. Without work there is no play. ** Chapter 9 (Education At Bangalore). * I accumulated in those years so fine a surplus in the Book of Observance that I have been drawing confidently upon it ever since. ** Chapter 9 (Education At Bangalore). * '''It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations. [[wikipedia:Bartlett's Familiar Quotations|Bartlett's Familiar Quotations]] is an admirable work, and I studied it intently. The quotations when engraved upon the memory give you good thoughts. They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.''' ** Chapter 9 (Education At Bangalore). * I had been brought up and trained to have the utmost contempt for people who got drunk — and I would have liked to have the boozing scholars of the [[Universities]] wheeled into line and properly chastised for their squalid misuse of what I must ever regard as a gift of the gods. ** Chapter 10 (The Malakand Field Force). * When we all got back to camp, our General communicated by heliograph through a distant mountain top with Sir {{w|Bindon Blood}} at {{w|Nawagai}}. Sir Bindon and our leading brigade had thenselves been heavily attacked the night before. They had lost hundreds of animals and twenty or thirty men, but otherwise were none the worse. Sir Bindon sent orders that we were to stay in the {{w|Mamund}} valley and lay it waste with fire and sword in vengeance. This accordingly we did, but with great precautions. We proceeded systematically, village by village, and we destroyed the houses, filled up the wells, blew down the towers, cut down the great shady trees, burned the crops and broke the reservoirs in punitive devastation. So long as the villages were in the plain, this was quite easy. The tribesmen sat on the mountains and sullen watched the destruction of their homes and means of livelihood. When however we had to attack the villas on the sides of the mountains they resisted fiercely, and we lost for every village two or three British officers and fifteen or twenty native soldiers. Whether it was worth it, I cannot tell. At any rate, at the end of a fortnight the valley was a desert, and honour was satisfied. **Chapter 11 (The Mamund Valley). [https://books.google.com/books?id=ooFGl74WbXsC&pg=PT149] *They knew so much more about the controversy than I did, that my bold broad generalities about [[w:Liberté, égalité, fraternité|liberty, equality and fraternity]] got seriously knocked about. I entrenched myself around the slogan "No [[slavery]] under the [[Flag of the United Kingdom|Union Jack]]." Slavery they suggested might be right or wrong: the Union Jack was no doubt a respectable piece of bunting: but what was the moral connection between the two? I had the same difficulty in discovering a foundation for the assertions I so confidently made, as I have found in arguing with the people who contend that the sun is only a figment of our imagination. **Chapter 16 (I Leave the Army) * '''Never, never, never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter. The statesman who yields to war fever must realise that once the signal is given, he is no longer the master of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events.''' Antiquated War Offices, weak, incompetent, or arrogant Commanders, untrustworthy allies, hostile neutrals, malignant Fortune, ugly surprises, awful miscalculations — all take their seats at the Council Board on the morrow of a declaration of war. Always remember, however sure you are that you could easily win, that there would not be a war if the other man did not think he also had a chance. ** Chapter 18 (With Buller To The Cape), p. 246 ** Quoted in [http://www.forward.com/articles/7759/ ''This Time It's Our War''] (2003) by Leonard Fein in ''[[wikipedia:The Forward|The Forward]]'' ([[July 25]], [[2003]]). === The 1930s === [[File:London Blitz 791940.jpg|thumb|244x244px|The era of procrastination, of half-measures, of soothing and baffling expedients, of delays, is coming to its close. In its place we are entering a period of consequences.]] * We are bound to further every honest and practical step which the nations of Europe may make to reduce the barriers which divide them and to nourish their common interests and common welfare. We rejoice at every diminution of the internal tariffs and martial armaments of Europe. We see nothing but good and hope in a richer, freer, more contented European commonalty. '''But we have our own dream and our own task. We are with Europe, but not of it. We are linked, but not comprised. We are interested and associated, but not absorbed.''' And should European statesmen address us in the words which were used of old, 'Wouldest thou be spoken for to the king, or captain of the host?', we should reply, with the Shunammite woman: 'I dwell among mine own people.' ** "The United States of Europe", The Saturday Evening Post (15 February 1930) ** Reproduced in ''The Collected Essays of Sir Winston Churchill, Vol II, Churchill and Politics'', Centenary Edition (1976), Library of Imperial History, p. 184. <small>{{ISBN|0903988437}}</small> *[T]he inexorable duty which has come upon you to use your political power to help our Island out of the rotten state which it has now fallen. When I think of the way in which we poured out blood and money to take [[w:Capture of Contalmaison|Contalmaison]] or to hold [[w:Battle of Ypres|Ypres]], I cannot understand why it is we should now throw away our conquests and our inheritance with both hands, through sheer helplessness and pusillanimity. In this disastrous year we have written ourselves down as a second Naval Power, squandered our authority in [[Egypt]], and brought [[British Raj|India]] to a position when the miserable public take it as an open question whether we should not clear out of the country altogether. Currently with all this, we have so reduced our reputation abroad and among our own dominions, that as you said the other night, 'they all think we are down and out'. My only interest in politics is to see this position retrieved. **Letter to [[w:Max Aitken, 1st Baron Beaverbrook|Lord Beaverbrook]] (23 September 1930), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''The Churchill Documents, Volume 12: The Wilderness Years, 1929–1935'' (1981; 2012), p. 185 *The truth is that Gandhi-ism and all it stands for will, sooner or later, have to be grappled with, and finally crushed. It is no use trying to satisfy a tiger by feeding him with cat's-meat. The sooner this is realised, the less trouble and misfortune will there be for all concerned. **Speech in Cannon Street Hotel, London (12 December 1930) at the first public meeting of the [[w:Indian Empire Society|Indian Empire Society]], quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 377 *For 30 years I have watched from a central position the manifestations of the will power of Great Britain, and I do not believe the people will consent to be edged, pushed, talked and cozened out of India. No nation of which I am aware, great or small, has ever voluntarily or tamely suffered such an overwhelming injury to its interests or such a harsh abrogation of its rights. After all, there are British rights and interests in India. Two centuries of effort and achievement, lives given on a hundred fields, far more lives given and consumed in faithful and devoted service to the Indian people themselves. All this has earned us rights of our own in India. **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1931/jan/26/india-1#column_702 Speech] in the House of Commons (26 January 1931) * I remember, when I was a child, being taken to the celebrated Barnum's circus, which contained an exhibition of freaks and monstrosities. But the exhibit on the programme which I most desired to see was the one described as "The Boneless Wonder." My parents judged that that spectacle would be too revolting and demoralising for my youthful eyes, and I have waited 50 years to see the boneless wonder sitting on the Treasury Bench. ** A jibe at Prime Minister (and [[wikipedia:First Lord of the Treasury|First Lord of the Treasury]]) [[wikipedia:Ramsay MacDonald|Ramsay MacDonald]] during a speech in the House of Commons, January 28, 1931 [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1931/jan/28/trade-disputes-and-trade-unions-1#column_1021 "Trade Disputes and Trade Unions (Amendment) Bill"]. *It is alarming and also nauseating to see [[Mahatma Gandhi|Mr. Gandhi]], a seditious Middle Temple lawyer, now posing as a [[w:fakir|fakir]] of a type well-known in the East, striding half-naked up the steps of the Vice-regal palace, while he is still organising and conducting a defiant campaign of civil disobedience, to parley on equal terms with the representatives of the [[George V of the United Kingdom|King-Emperor]]. Such a spectacle can only increase the unrest in India and the danger to which white people there are exposed. It can only encourage all the forces which are hostile to British authority. **Speech to the Council of the West Essex Conservative Association on Gandhi's meeting with the [[w:Viceroy of India|Viceroy of India]] (23 February 1931), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 390 *Almost the only great real living popular chamber functioning in full power at the present time is the British House of Commons. What was the cradle of free institutions throughout the world is still their citadel. I am deeply anxious that its walls shall not be undermined by slow decay or overthrown by violent battering-rams. I believe that [[Parliamentary system|Parliamentary institutions]] are, upon the whole, the most tolerable form of government for men—and, of course, women—and I am animated solely by the desire to discover how the ancient institutions in our island can be given a new lease of life by being rendered capable of discharging effectually the duties they have claimed. **Rectorial address ("The present decline of Parliamentary government in Great Britain") to Edinburgh University (5 March 1931), quoted in ''The Times'' (6 March 1931), p. 19 *The evils and dangers of which I speak are of slow growth, and their cure can only be gradual. Unless Great Britain is able by a united and well-instructed effort to grapple with [[Great Depression|her economic problems]], and unless she is worthy to be the heart of her world-wide establishment, you here in this hall today will live long enough to lose not only your inheritance, but your livelihood. The continuance of our present confusion and disintegration will reduce us within a generation, and perhaps sooner, to the degree of States like [[Netherlands|Holland]] and [[Portugal]], which nursed valiant races and held great possessions, but were stripped of them in the crush and competition of the world. That would be a melancholy end to all the old glories and recent triumphs. **Rectorial address ("The present decline of Parliamentary government in Great Britain") to Edinburgh University (5 March 1931), quoted in ''The Times'' (6 March 1931), p. 19 * If Great Britain lost her Empire and India and her share in world trade and her sea power, she would be like a vast whale stranded in one your Scottish bays, which swam in upon the tide and then was left to choke and rot upon the sands. We should be like a great shop emporium in a district from which prosperity has for ever departed. We least of all peoples and races can afford to fail. Failure to us does not mean merely that we shall not improve. It means that we shall be ruined and frozen out. ** Rectorial address ("The present decline of Parliamentary government in Great Britain") to Edinburgh University (5 March 1931), quoted in ''The Times'' (6 March 1931), p. 19 * India is no more a political personality than Europe. India is a geographical term. It is no more a united nation than the equator. ** Speech at the Constitutional Club, London (26 March 1931). * Men and kings must be judged in the testing moments of their lives. '''[[Courage]] is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities, because, as has been said, it is the quality which guarantees all others.''' Courage, physical and moral, [[w:Alfonso XIII|King Alfonso]] has proved on every occasion of personal danger or political stress. Many years ago in the face of a difficult situation Alfonso made the proud declaration, no easy boast in [[Spain]], “I was born on the throne, I shall die on it.” ** In an article published in “Collier’s” magazine about King Alfonso XIII of Spain on 27 June 1931. Source: 1931 June 27, Collier’s, Unlucky Alfonso by Winston Churchill, Start Page 11, Quote Page 49, Column 2, P. F. Collier and Son, New York. (Unz Database). As quoted in: Quote Investigator (July 14, 2019): Courage Is Rightly Esteemed the First of Human Qualities Because . . . It Is the Quality Which Guarantees All Others. [https://web.archive.org/web/20230707045333/https://quoteinvestigator.com/2019/07/14/courage/ Archived] [https://archive.is/P6XLa from] [https://quoteinvestigator.com/2019/07/14/courage/ the original] on July 7, 2023. * '''In the twinkling of an eye I found myself without an office, without a seat, without a party, and without an appendix.''' ** "Election Memories", ''The Strand Magazine'' (September 1931). ** Reproduced in ''Thoughts and Adventures'', 1932. * '''We shall escape the absurdity of growing a whole chicken in order to eat the breast or wing, by [[wikipedia:In vitro meat|growing]] these parts separately under a suitable medium.''' ** "Fifty Years Hence", ''The Strand Magazine'' (December 1931). * '''...live dangerously; take things as they come; dread naught, all will be well.''' ** ''My New York Misadventure'', The Daily Mail, 4 and 5 January 1932 ** Reproduced in ''The Collected Essays of Sir Winston Churchill, Vol IV, Churchill at Large'', Centenary Edition (1976), Library of Imperial History, p. 94. <small>{{ISBN|0903988453}}</small> * We are stripped bare by the curse of plenty. ** Lecture at Cleveland, Ohio (February 3, 1932), reported in Robert Rhodes James, ed., ''Winston S. Churchill: His Complete Speeches, 1897–1963'' (1974), vol. 5, p. 5130; referring to the theory that over-production caused the Depression. * His great creation of the "Little Man" has become as much a reality in the popular mind as any live subject of caricature. [[w:Sidney Strube|Strube]]'s Little Man is very different from [[w:P. H. Fearon|Poy]]'s Mr. John Citizen; but there is this in common between them: they both exhibit trials and misfortunes descending ceaselessly upon a weak and battered being. What a gulf separates these characterizations of our national type from the bluff, strong, hale, and hearty [[w:John Bull|John Bull]] of former times, with his thick stick and his square-topped bowler hat and his resolute, rugged face! The change is due to post-War mentality. The exhausted nation weighed down by taxation, harried by Socialists; its trade declining, its doles expanding; the trident of the sea already gone, and the sceptre in the East about to fall! For such situations the careworn face of Strube's Little Man and Poy's haggard paterfamilias are well-suited. ** 'Cartoons and Cartoonists', ''Thoughts and Adventures'' (1932), pp. 33-34 * That abject, squalid, shameless avowal... It is a very disquieting and disgusting symptom... My mind turns across the narrow waters of Channel and the North Sea, where great nations stand determined to defend their national glories or national existence with their lives. I think of Germany, with its splendid clear-eyed youths marching forward on all the roads of the Reich singing their ancient songs, demanding to be conscripted into an army; eagerly seeking the most terrible weapons of war; burning to suffer and die for their fatherland. I think of Italy, with her ardent [[Fascism|Fascisti]], her renowned Chief, and stern sense of national duty. I think of [[France]], anxious, peace-loving, pacifist to the core, but armed to the teeth and determined to survive as a great nation in the world. One can almost feel the curl of contempt upon the lips of the manhood of all these people when they read this message sent out by [[University of Oxford|Oxford University]] in the name of young England. ** Speech to the Anti-Socialist and Anti-Communist Union after the Oxford Union [[w:King and Country debate|passed the motion]] "that this House will in no circumstances fight for its King and Country" (17 February 1933), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 456 * [Fascism] is not a sign-post which would direct us here, for I firmly believe that our long experienced [[democracy]] will be able to preserve a parliamentary system of government with whatever modifications may be necessary from both extremes of arbitrary rule. **Speech to the Anti-Socialist and Anti-Communist Union (17 February 1933), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 457 * I am strongly of opinion that we require to strengthen our armaments by air and upon the seas in order to make sure that we are still judges of our own fortunes, our own destinies and our own action... Not to have an adequate air force in the present state of the world is to compromise the foundations of national freedom and independence. **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1933/mar/14/supply#column_1820 Speech] in the House of Commons (14 March 1933) * "Thank God for the [[w:French_army|French army]]." When we read about [[Nazi Germany|Germany]], when we watch with surprise and distress the tumultuous insurgence of ferocity and war spirit, the pitiless ill-treatment of minorities, the denial of the normal protections of civilised society to large numbers of individuals solely on the ground of race—when we see that occurring in one of the most gifted, learned, scientific and formidable nations in the world, one cannot help feeling glad that the fierce passions that are raging in Germany have not found, as yet, any other outlet but upon themselves. It seems to me that, at a moment like this, to ask France to halve her army while Germany doubles hers...to ask France to halve her air force while the German air force remains whatever it is...such a proposal, it seems to me, is likely to be considered by the French Government at present, at any rate, as somewhat unseasonable. **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1933/mar/23/european-situation#S5CV0276P0_19330323_HOC_299 Speech] in the House of Commons shortly after Hitler became Chancellor (23 March 1933) * We know that he has, more than any other man, the gift of compressing the largest number of words into the smallest amount of thought. ** A jibe directed at [[Ramsay MacDonald]], during a speech in the House of Commons, March 23, 1933 [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1933/mar/23/european-situation#column_544 "European Situation"]. This quote is similar to a remark ("He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met") made by [[wikipedia:Abraham Lincoln|Abraham Lincoln]]. [Frederick Trevor Hill credits Lincoln with this remark in ''Lincoln the Lawyer'' (1906), adding that 'History has considerately sheltered the identity of the victim'.] * New discord has arisen in Europe of late years from the fact that Germany is not satisfied with the result of the late War. I have indicated several times that Germany got off lightly after the Great War. I know that that is not always a fashionable opinion, but the facts repudiate the idea that a [[w:Carthaginian peace|Carthaginian peace]] was in fact imposed upon Germany. No division was made of the great masses of the [[Germans|German people]]. No portion of Germany inhabited by Germans was detached, except where there was the difficulty of disentangling the population of the Silesian border. No attempt was made to divide Germany as between the northern and southern portions which might well have tempted the conquerors at that time. No State was carved out of Germany. She underwent no serious territorial loss, except the loss of [[w:Alsace-Lorraine|Alsace and Lorraine]], which she herself had seized only 50 years before. The great mass of the Germans remained united after all that Europe had passed through, and they are more vehemently united to-day than ever before. You may talk of the [[w:World War I reparations|War indemnity]]; what has happened there? I suppose that the Germans paid, in round terms, £1,000,000,000. But they had borrowed £2,000,000,000 at the same time, and there are no signs of their paying back. **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1933/apr/13/adjournment-easter-1#column_2790 Speech] in the House of Commons (13 April 1933) * On the other hand, when we think of what would have happened to us, to France or to [[Belgium]] if the Germans had won; when we think of the terms which they [[w:Treaty of Bucharest (1918)|exacted from Rumania]], or of the terms of the [[w:Treaty of Brest-Litovsk|Treaty of Brest-Litovsk]]; when we remember that up to a few months of the end of the War German authorities refused to consider that Belgium could ever be liberated, but said that she should be kept in thrall for military purposes for ever, I do not think that we need break our hearts in deploring the treatment that Germany is receiving now. Germany is not satisfied; but...no concession which has been made has produced any very marked appearance of gratitude. Once it has been conceded it has seemed less valuable than when it was demanded. ** [https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1933/apr/13/adjournment-easter-1#column_2790 Speech] in the House of Commons (13 April 1933) * [[Historian]]s have noticed, all down the centuries, one peculiarity of the English people which has cost them dear. We have always thrown away after a victory the greater part of the advantages we gained in the struggle. The worst difficulties from which we suffer do not come from without. They come from within. They do not come from the cottages of the wage-earners. They come from a peculiar type of brainy people always found in our country, who, if they add something to its culture, take much from its strength. Our difficulties come from the mood of unwarrantable self-abasement into which we have been cast by a powerful section of our own [[intellectuals]]. They come from the acceptance of defeatist doctrines by a large proportion of our politicians. But what have they to offer but a vague [[internationalism]], a squalid [[materialism]], and the promise of impossible [[Utopia]]s? ** Speech to the [[w:Royal Society of St George|Royal Society of St George]] (23 April 1933), Winston Churchill, ''Never Give In! Winston Churchill's Speeches'' (2013), p. 84 * Nothing can save England if she will not save herself. If we lose faith in ourselves, in our capacity to guide and govern, if we lose our will to live, then indeed our story is told. If, while on all sides foreign nations are every day asserting a more aggressive and militant nationalism by arms and trade, we remain paralysed by our own theoretical doctrines or plunged into the stupor of after-war exhaustion, then indeed all that the croakers predict will come true, and our ruin will be swift and final. Stripped of her Empire in the Orient, deprived of the [[sovereignty]] of the seas, loaded with debt and taxation, her commerce and carrying trade shut out by foreign tariffs and quotas, England would sink to the level of a fifth-rate Power, and nothing would remain of all her glories except a population much larger than this island can support. ** Speech to the [[w:Royal Society of St George|Royal Society of St George]] (23 April 1933), Winston Churchill, ''Never Give In! Winston Churchill's Speeches'' (2013), p. 84 * We must not despair, we must not for a moment pretend that we cannot face these things. Dangers come upon the world; other nations face them. When, in old days, the sea gave access to this island, it was a danger to this island, it made it the most invadable place at any point, but by taking proper measures our ancestors gained the command of the sea, and, consequently, what had been a means of inroad upon us became our sure shield and protection; and there is not the slightest reason why, with our ability and our resources, and our peaceful intentions, our desire only to live quietly here in our island, we should not raise up for ourselves a security in the air above us which will make us as free from serious molestation as did our control of blue water through bygone centuries. ** [https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1934/mar/08/air-estimates-1934#column_2071 Speech] in the House of Commons during the debate on the Government's White Paper on Defence that announced an increase in the Royal Air Force (8 March 1934) *I dread the day when the means of threatening the heart of the British Empire should pass into the hands of the present rulers of Germany. I think we should be in a position which would be odious to every man who values freedom of action and independence, and also in a position of the utmost peril for our crowded, peaceful population, engaged in their daily toil. I dread that day, but it is not, perhaps, far distant. It is, perhaps, only a year, or perhaps 18 months, distant...There is still time for us to take the necessary measures, but what we want are the measures. We do not want this paragraph in this White Paper, we want the measures. It is no good writing that first paragraph and then producing £130,000. We want the measures to achieve parity. **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1934/mar/08/air-estimates-1934#column_2072 Speech] in the House of Commons (8 March 1934) * '''Broadly speaking, human beings may be divided into three classes: those who are toiled to death, those who are worried to death, and those who are bored to death.''' ** ''Have You a Hobby?'', Answers, 21 April 1934 ** Reproduced in ''The Collected Essays of Sir Winston Churchill, Vol IV, Churchill at Large'', Centenary Edition (1976), Library of Imperial History, p. 288. <small>{{ISBN|0903988453}}</small> *I marvel at the complacency of Ministers in the face of the frightful experiences through which we have all so newly passed. I look with wonder upon our thoughtless crowds disporting themselves in the summer sunshine, and upon this unfocused, unheeding House of Commons, which seems to have no higher function than to cheer a Minister. But what is happening across the narrow seas? A terrible process is astir. ''[[w:German_rearmament|Germany is arming]]''. That mighty race who fought and almost vanquished the whole world is on the march again. The whole nation is inspired with the idea of retrieving and avenging their defeat in the Great War. They have arisen from the pit of disaster in monstrous guise. ... And we are still pestering France to disarm, and we are still disarmed ourselves! **'How I Would Procure Peace', ''Daily Mail'' (9 July 1934), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''The Churchill Documents, Volume 12: The Wilderness Years, 1929–1935'' (1981; 2012), p. 825, n. 3 *What is the dominant fact of the situation? Germany is arming...Germany is arming particularly in the air. ... it seems of the utmost importance, not only that we should lose no time in putting ourselves in an adequate position of defence but, that we should keep close and friendly relations with other great Powers of a friendly character who have not fallen into the error which has overtaken us of late years, of neglecting the essentials of our own security. **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1934/jul/13/foreign-office#column_734 Speech] in the House of Commons (13 July 1934) *At the present time we are the sixth air Power in the world. But every State is rapidly expanding its air force. They are all expanding, but much more rapidly than we are doing. It is certain, therefore, that..in 1936...we shall have fallen further behind other countries than we are now in air defence... If you extend your view over the [Government's] five-years' programme I believe it is also true to state that, having regard to the increases which are being made by other countries and which are projected, even if the whole programme is carried out, at the end of the period...we shall be worse off in 1939 relatively—it is relativity that counts in these matters—than we are now... Yet even for this tiny, timid, tentative, tardy increase of the [[Royal Air Force|Air Force]], to which the Government have at length made up their mind, they are to be censured by the whole united forces of the Socialist and Liberal parties here and throughout the country. **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1934/jul/30/armaments#column_2366 Speech] in the House of Commons on Labour's motion of censure against the Government for rearming (30 July 1934) *I am afraid that if you look intently at what is moving towards Great Britain, you will see that the only choice open is the old grim choice our forbears had to face, namely, whether we shall submit or whether we shall prepare. Whether we shall submit to the will of a stronger nation or whether we shall prepare to defend our rights, our liberties and indeed our lives. **On German rearmament; BBC broadcast (16 November 1934), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 566 *If England had not resisted German militarism, in my view the German hegemony of Europe would have been established and our island would have had to face a united Continental army. It is the same old story from the days of [[John Churchill, 1st Duke of Marlborough|Marlborough]] and [[Napoleon]]. **Letter to [[w:G. M. Trevelyan|G. M. Trevelyan]] (3 January 1935), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 623 *But what is this [[w:Government of India Act, 1935|India Home Rule Bill]]? I will tell you. It is a gigantic quilt of jumbled crotchet work. There is no theme; there is no pattern; there is no agreement; there is no conviction; there is no simplicity; there is no courage. It is a monstrous monument of shame built by pygmies. **BBC broadcast (29 January 1935), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 595 *The storm clouds are gathering over the European scene. Our defences have been neglected. Danger is in the air...yes, I say in the air. The mighty discontented nations are reaching out with the strong hands to regain what they have lost; nay, to gain a predominance which they have never had. Is this, then, the time to plunge our vast dependency of India into the melting-pot? **BBC broadcast (29 January 1935), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 596 *'''War arises from both sides feeling they have a hope of [[victory]].''' **''The King's Twenty-Five Years. III. The Coronation and the Agadir Crisis.'' The Evening Standard, 4 May 1935 ** Reproduced in ''The Collected Essays of Sir Winston Churchill, Vol III, Churchill and People'', Centenary Edition (1976), Library of Imperial History, p. 351-2. <small>{{ISBN|0903988445}}</small> *If [<nowiki/>[[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]]'s] proposal means that we should come to an understanding with Germany to dominate Europe I think this would be contrary to the whole of our history. You know the old fable of the jackal who went hunting with the tiger and what happened after the hunt was over. Thus [[Elizabeth I of England|Elizabeth]] resisted [[Philip II of Spain]]. Thus [[William III of England|William III]] and [[John Churchill, 1st Duke of Marlborough|Marlborough]] resisted [[Louis XIV of France|Louis XIV]]. Thus [[William Pitt the Younger|Pitt]] resisted [[Napoleon Bonaparte|Napoleon]], and thus we all resisted [[Wilhelm II, German Emperor|William II of Germany]]. Only by taking this path and effort have we preserved ourselves and our liberties, and reached our present position. I see no reason myself to change from this traditional view. **Letter to [[w:Harold Harmsworth, 1st Viscount Rothermere|Lord Rothermere]] (12 May 1935), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), pp. 648−649 *In the name of [[liberty]] you have done what liberty disowns. In the name of theoretical [[progress]], you have opened the door to practical retrogression. In the name of appeasement and the popular will, you have prescribed a course of endless irritation. ... He has won his victory; he has won the victory for which he has fought hard, and long, and adroitly; but it is not a victory, in our opinion, for the interests of this country, nor a victory for the welfare of the peoples of India, and in the crashing cheers which no doubt will hail his majority to-night, we pray there may not mingle the knell of the British Empire in the East. **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1935/jun/05/government-of-india-bill#column_1920 Speech] in the House of Commons addressing the Secretary of State for India [[w:Samuel Hoare, 1st Viscount Templewood|Samuel Hoare]] (5 June 1935) * '''Everyone can see the arguments against the English-speaking peoples becoming the policemen of the world.''' ** ''To End War'', Collier's, 29 June 1935 ** Reproduced in ''The Collected Essays of Sir Winston Churchill, Vol I, Churchill at War'', Centenary Edition (1976), Library of Imperial History, p. 351-2. <small>{{ISBN|0903988429}}</small> *[In air power] so far from being half as strong again as Germany, so far from making up lee-way, we are already greatly inferior in numbers and falling further and further behind every month. ... No doubt it is not popular to say these things, but I am accustomed to abuse and I expect to have a great deal more of it before I have finished. Somebody has to state the truth. There ought to be a few members of the House of Commons who are in a sufficiently independent position to confront both Ministers and electors with unpalatable truths. We do not wish our ancient freedom and the decent tolerant civilisation we have preserved in this island to hang upon a rotten thread. **Speech to the City Carlton Club (26 September 1935), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''The Churchill Documents, Volume 12: The Wilderness Years, 1929–1935'' (1981; 2012), p. 1268 * '''Mr. [[Mahatma Gandhi|Gandhi]] has gone very high in my esteem since he stood up for the untouchables''' ... Well, you have the opportunity now. I do not like the [Indian Home Rule] Bill but it is now on the Statute Book. I am not going to bother any more, but do not give us a chance to say we anticipated a breakdown...So make it a success. ... My test of improvement in the lot of the masses, morally as well as materially. I do not care whether you are more or less loyal to Great Britain ... Tell Mr. Gandhi to use the powers that are offered and make the thing a success. ** [[wikipedia:Shri Ghanshyam Das Birla|G.D. Birla]]'s account of his conversation with Churchill in a letter to Gandhi (September 1935), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 618 *I am genuinely sympathetic towards India. I have got real fears about the future. India, I feel is a burden on us. We have got to maintain an army and for the sake of India we have to maintain Singapore and Near East strength. If India could look after herself we would be delighted. ... I would be only too delighted if the Reforms are a success. I have all along felt that there are fifty Indias. But you have got the thing now; make it a success and if you do I will advocate your getting much more. **[[wikipedia:Shri Ghanshyam Das Birla|G.D. Birla]]'s account of his conversation with Churchill in a letter to Gandhi (September 1935), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 619 *The whole of Germany is an armed camp...The industries of Germany are mobilised for war to an extent to which ours were not mobilised even a year after the Great War had begun. The whole population is being trained from childhood up to war. A mighty army is coming into being. Many submarines are already exercising in the Baltics. Great cannon, tanks, machine guns and poison gas are fast accumulating. The Germans are even able to be great exporters of munitions as well as to develop their own enormous magazines. The German air force is developing at a great speed, and in spite of ruthless loss of life. We have no speedy prospect of equalling the German air force or of overtaking Germany in the air, whatever we do in the near future. **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1935/oct/24/international-situation Speech] in the House of Commons (24 October 1935) *Germany is already well on her way to become, and must become incomparably, the most heavily armed nation in the world and the nation most completely ready for war. There is the dominant factor; there is the factor which dwarfs all others, the factor which we find affecting the movements of politics and diplomacy in every country throughout Europe...we cannot have any anxieties comparable to the anxiety caused by German re-armament. The House will pardon me if I continue to press that anxiety upon it. **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1935/oct/24/international-situation Speech] in the House of Commons (24 October 1935) *We cannot afford to see Nazidom in its present phase of [[cruelty]] and [[intolerance]], with all its hatreds and all its gleaming weapons, paramount in Europe at the present time. **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1935/oct/24/international-situation Speech] in the House of Commons (24 October 1935) * One may dislike [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]]'s system and yet admire his patriotic achievement. If our country were defeated, I hope we should find a champion as indomitable to restore our courage and lead us back to our place among the nations. ** "Hitler and His Choice", ''The Strand Magazine'' (November 1935) * We cannot tell whether Hitler will be the man who will once again let loose upon the world another war in which civilisation will irretrievably succumb, or whether he will go down in history as the man who restored honour and peace of mind to the Great Germanic nation. ** "Hitler and His Choice", ''The Strand Magazine'' (November 1935) * Hitherto, Hitler's triumphant career has been borne onwards, not only by a passionate love of Germany, but by currents of hatred so intense as to sear the souls of those who swim upon them. ** "Hitler and His Choice", ''The Strand Magazine'' (November 1935), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 680 *The twentieth century has witnessed with surprise, not merely the promulgation of these ferocious doctrines, but their enforcement with brutal vigour by the Government and by the populace. No past services, no proved [[patriotism]], even wounds sustained in war, could procure immunity for persons whose only crime was that their parents had brought them into the world. Every kind of persecution, grave or petty, upon the world-famous scientists, writers, and composers at the top down to the wretched little Jewish children in the national schools, was practised, was glorified, and is still being practised and glorified. **"Hitler and His Choice", ''The Strand Magazine'' (November 1935), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 681 * '''A [[Free press|free Press]] is the unsleeping guardian of every other right that freemen prize; it is the most dangerous foe of tyranny.''' ** ''You Get It In Black And White'', Collier's, 28 December 1935 ** Reproduced in ''The Collected Essays of Sir Winston Churchill, Vol IV, Churchill at Large'', Centenary Edition (1976), Library of Imperial History, p. 323. <small>{{ISBN|0903988453}}</small> *While the Hindu elaborates his argument, the Moslem sharpens his sword. Between these two races and creeds, containing as they do so many gifted arid charming beings in all the glory of youth, there is no intermarriage. The gulf is impassable. If you took the antagonisms of France and Germany, and the antagonisms of Catholics and Protestants, and compounded them and multiplied them ten-fold, you would not equal the division which separates these two races intermingled by scores of millions in the cities and plains of India. **Winston Churchill, speech on March 18, 1931 in Albert Hall, London. in : Churchill by Himself: The Definitive Collection of Quotations by Richard Langworth and Winston Churchill *There is a great danger that the Parliamentary nations and merciful, tolerant forces in the world will be knocked out quite soon by the heavily armed, unmoral [[Dictatorship|dictatorships]]. But I believe there is still time to organise a European mass, and perhaps a world mass which would confront them, overawe them, and perhaps let their peoples loose upon them. **Letter to [[Robert Cecil, 1st Viscount Cecil of Chelwood|Robert Cecil]] (9 April 1936), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 721 *It seems a mad business to confront these dictators without weapons or military force, and at the same time try to tame and cow the spirit of our people with peace films, anti-recruiting [[propaganda]] and resistance to defence measures. Unless the free and law-respecting nations are prepared to organise, arm and combine, they are going to be smashed up. This is going to happen quite soon. But I believe we still have a year to combine and marshal superior forces in defence of the [[League of Nations|League]] and its [[w:Covenant of the League of Nations|Covenant]]. **Letter to [[Robert Cecil, 1st Viscount Cecil of Chelwood|Robert Cecil]] (9 April 1936), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 722 *I can only see one thing. I see it sharper and harsher day by day. Germany is arming more strenuously, more scientifically and upon a larger scale, than any nation has ever armed before... All this has gone into making the most destructive war weapons and war arrangements that have ever been known: and there are four or five millions of active, intelligent, valiant Germans engaged in these process, working, as [[Hermann Göring|General Goering]] has told us, night and day. Surely these are facts which ought to bulk as large in ordinary peaceful peoples' minds as horse racing, a prize fight, a murder trial or nineteen-twentieths of the current newspaper bill of fare. What is it all for? Certainly it is not all for fun. Something quite extraordinary is afoot. All the signals are set for danger. The red lights flash through the gloom. Let peaceful folk beware. It is a time to pay attention and to be well prepared. **'How Germany Is Arming' (1 May 1936), quoted in Winston Churchill, ''Step by Step, 1936–1939'' (1939; 1947), pp. 13, 16 *I certainly do not take the view that a war between England and Germany is inevitable. I fear very gravely however unless something happens to the Nazi regime in Germany there will be a devastating war in Europe, and it may come earlier than you expect. The only chance of stopping it is to have a union of nations, all well-armed and bound to defend each other, and thus confront the Nazi aggression with over-whelming force. **Letter to [[w:Charles Vane-Tempest-Stewart, 7th Marquess of Londonderry|Lord Londonderry]] (6 May 1936), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 732 *You are also mistaken in supposing that I have an anti-German obsession. British policy for four hundred years has been to oppose the strongest power in Europe by weaving together a combination of other countries strong enough to face the bully. Sometimes it is [[Spain]], sometimes the [[Kingdom of France|French monarchy]], sometimes the [[w:First_French_Empire|French Empire]], sometimes Germany. I have no doubt who it is now...It is thus through the centuries we have kept our liberties and maintained our life and power. **Letter to [[w:Charles Vane-Tempest-Stewart, 7th Marquess of Londonderry|Lord Londonderry]] (6 May 1936), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 733 *If I read the future aright Hitler's government will confront Europe with a series of outrageous events and ever-growing military might. It is events which will show our dangers, though for some the lesson will come too late. **Letter to [[w:Charles Vane-Tempest-Stewart, 7th Marquess of Londonderry|Lord Londonderry]] (6 May 1936), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 733 * It must be very painful to a man of Lord [[wikipedia:Hugh Cecil, 1st Baron Quickswood|Hugh Cecil]]'s natural benevolence and human charity to find so many of God's children wandering simultaneously so far astray ... In these circumstances I would venture to suggest to my noble friend, whose gifts and virtues I have all my life admired, that some further refinement is needed in the catholicity of his condemnations. ** Letter to ''The Times'' on 12 May 1936, responding to Lord Cecil equally denouncing Italy, France, Japan, the USSR, and Germany; Churchill said that the French did not deserve as much criticism as the others. Quoted by [[wikipedia:John Gunther|John Gunther]] in ''Inside Europe'' (1940), p. 329 *[E]xcept for a few handfuls of ferocious [[Romanticism|romanticists]], or sordid would-be profiteers, war spells nothing but toil, waste, sorrow and torment to the vast mass of ordinary folk in every land... No plan for stopping war at this present late hour is of any value unless it has behind it force, and the resolve to use that force... [S]afety will only come though a combination of pacific nations armed with overwhelming power, and capable of the same infinity of sacrifice, and indeed of the ruthlessness, which hitherto have been the attributes of the warrior mind. The scales of justice are vain without her sword. Peace in her present plight must have her constables. To bring the matter to an agate point, there must be a Grand Alliance of all the nations who wish for peace against the Potential Aggressor, whoever he may be. Let us, therefore, without delay make this Grand Alliance. **'How To Stop War' (12 June 1936), quoted in Winston Churchill, ''Step by Step, 1936–1939'' (1939; 1947), pp. 25-26 * '''We have pushed [[taxation]] of wealth to a point in Great Britain where in many cases the yield would be greater if the rate were less. The idea that prosperity can be wooed by chasing [[Millionaire|millionaires]] is one of the most common and most foolish of modern popular delusions.''' ** ''Soapbox Messiahs'', Collier's, 20 June 1936 ** Reproduced in ''The Collected Essays of Sir Winston Churchill, Vol IV, Churchill at Large'', Centenary Edition (1976), Library of Imperial History, p. 335. <small>{{ISBN|0903988453}}</small> *Through our own folly and refusal to face realities and deal with evil tendencies while they were yet controllable, we have allowed brutal and intolerant forces to gain almost unchallenged supremacy in Europe and have placed ourselves in a position of weakness and peril, the like of which our history does not record for two and a half centuries. **Speech to the [[w:New Commonwealth Society|New Commonwealth Society]] (15 July 1936), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 764 *I can well imagine some circles of smart society, some groups of wealthy financiers, and the elements in this country which are attracted by the idea of a Government strong enough to keep the working classes in order; people who hate democracy and freedom, I can well imagine such people accommodating themselves fairly easy to [[Nazism|Nazi]] domination. But the Trade Unionists of Britain, the intellectuals of Socialism and Radicalism, they could no more bear it than the ordinary British Tory. It would be intolerable. **Speech in Horsham (23 July 1936), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 768 *I do not like to hear people talking of England, Germany and Italy forming up against European [[communism]]. **Letter to [[w:Charles Corbin|Charles Corbin]], the French Ambassador to Britain (31 July 1936), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 782 *How could we bear, nursed as we have been in a free atmosphere, to be gagged and muzzled; to have spies, eavesdroppers and delators at every corner; to have even private conversations caught up and used against us by the [[Secret police|Secret Police]] and all their agents and creatures; to be arrested and interned without trial; or to be tried by political or Party courts for crimes hitherto unknown to civil law. How could we bear to be treated like schoolboys when we are grown-up men; to be turned out on parade by tens of thousands to march and cheer for this slogan or for that; to see [[Philosophy|philosophers]], [[teachers]] and [[authors]] bullied and toiled to death in [[Concentration camp|concentration camps]]; to be forced every hour to conceal the natural workings of the human intellect and the pulsations of the human heart? Why, I say that rather than submit to such oppression, there is no length we would not go to. **Speech at Théâtre des Ambassadeurs, Paris (24 September 1936), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 788 * We must recognise that we have a great treasure to guard; that the inheritance in our possession represents the prolonged achievement of the centuries; that there is not one of our simple uncounted rights today for which better men than we are have not died on the scaffold or the battlefield. We have not only a great treasure; we have a great cause. Are we taking every measure within our power to defend that cause? ** Speech at Théâtre des Ambassadeurs, Paris, 24 September 1936, "Thank God For the French Army" ** Quoted in [https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=bcKOAQAAQBAJ&lpg=PA111&ots=Xh9ffWodWa&dq=churchill%20better%20men%20than%20we%20have%20not%20died%20on%20the%20scaffold%20or%20the%20battlefield&pg=PA110#v=onepage&q&f=false ''Never Give In!: Winston Churchill's Speeches''] (2013), p. 111. <small>{{ISBN|9781472520852}}</small> * '''The world looks with some awe upon a man who appears unconcernedly indifferent to home, money, comfort, rank, or even power and fame. The world feels not without a certain apprehension, that here is some one outside its jurisdiction; someone before whom its allurements may be spread in vain; some one strangely enfranchised, untamed, untrammelled by convention, moving independent of the ordinary currents of human action.''' ** At an unveiling of a memorial to [[T. E. Lawrence]] at the Oxford High School for Boys (3 October 1936); as quoted in ''Lawrence of Arabia: The Authorized Biography of T.E. Lawrence'' (1989) by Jeremy M Wilson. * '''We live in a country where the people own the Government and not in a country where the Government owns the people.''' Thought is free, speech is free, religion is free, no one can say that the Press is not free. In short, we live in a liberal society, the direct product of the great advances in human dignity, stature and well-being which will ever be the glory of the nineteenth century. ** ''I Ask You—What Price Freedom?'' Answers, 24 October 1936. ** Reproduced in ''The Collected Essays of Sir Winston Churchill, Vol I, Churchill at War'', Centenary Edition (1976), Library of Imperial History, p. 360. <small>{{ISBN|0903988429}}</small> * It will not benefit the world if we succeed in banishing the old-fashioned wars of nations only to clear the board for social and doctrinal wars of even greater ferocity and destructiveness. This, indeed, is a growing danger. We were told that the old wars of religion had ended, but that is not much comfort if the wars of various kinds of secular religions or non-God religions are to begin and are to make Europe the arena of their hideous conflict, and if all that makes life worth living to the mass of the people is to be destroyed in the process. ** ''I Ask You—What Price Freedom?'' Answers, 24 October 1936. ** Reproduced in ''The Collected Essays of Sir Winston Churchill, Vol I, Churchill at War'', Centenary Edition (1976), Library of Imperial History, p. 364. <small>{{ISBN|0903988429}}</small> * Occasionally he stumbled over the truth, but hastily picked himself up and hurried on as if nothing had happened. ** On [[wikipedia:Stanley Baldwin|Stanley Baldwin]], as cited in ''Churchill by Himself'' (2008), Ed. Langworth, PublicAffairs, p. 322 <small>{{ISBN|1586486381}}</small> ** Also quoted by [[wikipedia:Kay Halle|Kay Halle]] in [http://books.google.com/books?id=b0MTAQAAIAAJ&q=%22Occasionally+he+stumbled+over+the+truth+but+hastily+picked+himself+up+and+hurried+on+as+if+nothing+had+happened%22&pg=PA133#v=onepage ''Irrepressible Churchill: A Treasury of Winston Churchill's Wit''] (1966). *I have heard it said that the Government had no mandate for rearmament until the General Election. Such a doctrine is wholly inadmissible. The responsibility of Ministers for the public safety is absolute and requires no mandate. **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1936/nov/12/debate-on-the-address#column_1105 Speech] in the House of Commons (12 November 1936) * Anyone can see what the position is. The Government simply cannot make up their mind, or they cannot get the Prime Minister to make up his mind. '''So they go on in strange paradox, decided only to be undecided, resolved to be irresolute, adamant for drift, solid for fluidity, all powerful to be impotent.''' So we go on preparing more months and years — precious, perhaps vital to the greatness of Britain — for the locusts to eat. ** Speech in the House of Commons, November 12, 1936 [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1936/nov/12/debate-on-the-address#column_1107 "Debate on the Address"], criticizing [[wikipedia:Stanley Baldwin|Stanley Baldwin]]'s record on rearmament against [[wikipedia:Adolf Hitler|Hitler]]. * '''The era of [[procrastination]], of half-measures, of soothing and baffling expedients, of delays, is coming to its close. In its place we are entering a period of consequences.''' ** Speech in the House of Commons, November 12, 1936 [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1936/nov/12/debate-on-the-address#column_1117 "Debate on the Address"] ** Cited in [[wikipedia:Al Gore|Al Gore]]'s documentary [[wikipedia:An Inconvenient Truth|An Inconvenient Truth]] ** This speech is also commonly known by the name [http://www.churchill-society-london.org.uk/Locusts.html "The Locust Years"]. *I am trying to marshal all the forces I can to prevent this coming war, and to strengthen Britain. **Letter to [[w:Guy Wilson (public servant)|Guy Fleetwood Wilson]] (13 November 1936), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 800 *All the [[Left-wing politics|left wing]] [[Intellectual|intelligentsia]] are coming to look to me for protection and I will give it wholeheartedly in return for their aid in the rearmament of Britain. **Letter to Randolph Churchill (13 November 1936), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 800 *Fascism and Communism... Polar opposites—no, polar the same!" **Churchill's remark to his son, Randolph Churchill. Quoted in ''Churchill: The Prophetic Statesman'', [[w:James C. Humes|James C. Humes]], Washington D.C., Regnery Publishing (2012), p. 137. *[T]hey were gathered together on that platform with one object. They wanted to stop this war of which they had heard so much talk. They would like to stop it while time remained, for we had had enough of the last war not to want another. The seriousness and urgency of the danger was exemplified by the divergency of political opinion represented on the platform. We had reached a fateful milestone in human history. **Speech at the Albert Hall, London at a cross-party meeting organised by the [[w:League of Nations Union|League of Nations Union]] "in defence of freedom and peace" (3 December 1936), quoted in ''The Times'' (4 December 1936), p. 18 *[The] apostles of various kinds of error presented themselves. They were those like [[Oswald Mosley|Sir Oswald Mosley]] who were fascinated by the spectacle of brutal power. They would like to use it themselves. They grovelled to Nazi dictatorship in order that they could make people in their turn grovel to them... At the other end of the political scale were the [[Leon Trotsky|Trotsky-ite]] [[Communism|Communists]], furious fanatics whose sole aim was to throw the world into one supreme convulsion. Then there was Sir [[Stafford Cripps]], who was in a class by himself. He wished British people to be conquered by the Nazis in order to urge them into becoming [[Bolsheviks]]. It seemed a long way round. (Laughter.) And not much enlightenment when they got to the end of their journey. Lastly, there were the absolute non-resisters like [[w:Dick Sheppard (priest)|Canon Sheppard]] and [[George Lansbury|Mr. Lansbury]]. They were pious men, but they would lead the country to ruin, even more surely than all the others. **Speech at the Albert Hall, London (3 December 1936), quoted in ''The Times'' (4 December 1936), p. 18 *...the war between the Nazis and the Communists; the war of the non-God religions, waged with the weapons of the twentieth century. The most striking fact about the new religions was their similarity. They substituted the devil for God and hatred for love. **Speech at the Albert Hall, London (3 December 1936), quoted in ''The Times'' (4 December 1936), p. 18 *If present dangers were to be averted there must be loyal aid from the whole masses of the people; there must be voluntary and spontaneous comradeship; and there must even be a measure of self-imposed discipline. ... was it not time that the free nations, great or small, here or across the Atlantic Ocean, should take measures necessary to place themselves in a state of security and in a state of adequate defence, not only for their own safety but also that they might hold aloft the beacon-lights of freedom which would carry their rays of encouragement to the thinker and toiler in every land? **Speech at the Albert Hall, London (3 December 1936), quoted in ''The Times'' (4 December 1936), p. 18 * [[Courage]] is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities, because, as has been said, 'it is the quality which guarantees all others.' ** In [[wikipedia:Great Contemporaries|Great Contemporaries]], "Alfonso XIII" (1937) * The essence and foundation of House of Commons debating is formal conversation. The set speech, the harangue addressed to constituents, or to the wider public out of doors, has never succeeded much in our small wisely-built chamber. To do any good you have got to get down to grips with the subject and in human touch with the audience. ** In ''Great Contemporaries'', "Clemenceau" (1937) * Whatever one may think about democratic government, it is just as well to have practical experience of its rough and slatternly foundations. No part of the education of a politician is more indispensable than the fighting of elections. ** In ''Great Contemporaries'', "Lord Rosebery" (1937) *We desire to see the return of a liberal age where Parliaments will guard freedom, where science will open the banqueting halls to the millions, and where what [[Otto von Bismarck|Bismarck]] once called "practical [[Christianity]]" will mitigate suffering and misfortunes. **'No Intervention In Spain' (8 January 1937), quoted in Winston Churchill, ''Step by Step, 1936–1939'' (1939; 1947), p. 84 *It is a strange thing that certain parts of the world should now be wishing to revive the old religious war. There are those non-God religions Nazism and Communism . . . I repudiate both and will have nothing to do with either... They are as alike as two peas. Tweedledum and Tweedledee were violently contrasted compared with them. You leave out God and you substitute the devil. **''Manchester Guardian'' (26 January 1937) speech at Leeds Chamber of Commerce * '''I do not admit that the dog in the manger has the final right to the manger, even though he may have lain there for a very long time. I do not admit that right.''' I do not admit, for instance, that a great wrong has been done to the [[Native Americans in the United States|Red Indians of America]], or the [[Indigenous Australians|black people of Australia]]. I do not admit that a wrong has been done to these people by the fact that a stronger race, a higher grade race, or, at any rate, a more worldly-wise race, to put it that way, has come in and taken their place. I do not admit it. I do not think the Red Indians had any right to say, 'The [[North America|American Continent]] belongs to us and we are not going to have any of these [[European colonization of the Americas|European settlers]] coming in here.' They had not the right, nor had they the power. ** To the [[wikipedia:Peel Commission|Palestine Royal Commission]] (12 March 1937) on a Jewish Homeland in Palestine. [https://archive.org/details/winstonschurchil5pt3chur/ Quoted in Gilbert, Martin: "Winston S. Churchill, Volume 5, Companion Part 3, Documents: "The Coming of War, 1936-1939"]. Heinemann, London, 1982. Pg 616. * Many [[Japan|Japanese]] speak [[English language|English]]. But they do not think our [[Thought|thoughts]]. They worship at other shrines; profess another creed; observe a different code. They can no more be moved by [[Christian pacifism]] than [[wolves]] by the bleating of sheep. We have to deal with a people whose values are in many respects altogether different from our own. ** ''The Mission of Japan'', Collier's, 20 February 1937. ** Reproduced in ''The Collected Essays of Sir Winston Churchill, Vol I, Churchill at War'', Centenary Edition (1976), Library of Imperial History, p. 365. <small>{{ISBN|0903988429}}</small> * I know that it is the Socialist idea that making profits is a vice, and that making large profits is something of which a man ought to be ashamed. I hold the other view. I consider that the real vice is making losses. ** House of Commons, 1 June 1937. [https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1937/jun/01/finance-bill Hansard, Vol 324, Col 883]. *I do not believe in a major war this year because the French army at present is as large as that of Germany and far more mature. But next year and the year after may carry these Dictator-ridden countries to the climax of their armament and of their domestic embarrassments. We shall certainly need to be ready then. **Letter to [[w:Victor Hope, 2nd Marquess of Linlithgow|Lord Linlithgow]] (23 September 1937), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 870 * '''The wars fanned the wings of science, and science brought to mankind a thousand blessings, a thousand problems and a thousand perils.''' ** ''This Age of Government by Great Dictators'', News of the World, 10 October 1937 ** Reproduced in ''The Collected Essays of Sir Winston Churchill, Vol IV, Churchill at Large'', Centenary Edition (1976), Library of Imperial History, p. 395. <small>{{ISBN|0903988453}}</small> *You cannot expect English people to be attracted by the brutal intolerances of Nazidom... We certainly do not wish to pursue a policy inimical to the legitimate interests of Germany, but you must surely be aware that when the German Government speaks of friendship with England, what they mean is that we shall give them back their former Colonies, and also agree to their having a free hand so far as we are concerned in Central and Southern Europe. This means that they would devour [[Austria]] and [[w:Czechoslovakia|Czecho-Slovakia]] as a preliminary to making a gigantic middle Europe-block. It would certainly not be in our interests to connive at such policies of aggression. **Letter to [[w:Charles Vane-Tempest-Stewart, 7th Marquess of Londonderry|Lord Londonderry]] (23 October 1937), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 873 *No one in England has ever wished to prevent the fullest expression of Scottish or [[Wales|Welsh]] traditions and customs. Indeed, their manifestation is regarded with pleasure and pride by the English people. We have reaped great advantages from this tolerant mood. **'Yugoslavia and Europe' (29 October 1937), quoted in Winston Churchill, ''Step by Step, 1936–1939'' (1939; 1947), p. 169 * Three hundred years ago it would have seemed absurd to say that this black mineral, this sea-coal, which could be used as a substitute for wood to burn in one's grate, could be applied to revolutionize human affairs. Today we know that there is another source of energy a million times greater. We have not yet learned how to harness it or apply it, but it is there. Occasionally in complicated processes in the laboratory a scientist observes transmutations, re-arrangements in the core of the [[atom]], which is known as the nucleus, which generate power at a rate hundreds of thousands of times greater than is produced when coal is burned and when, as the scientists put it, a carbon atom satisfied its affinity for an oxygen molecule. It can scarcely be doubted that a way to induce and control these effects can be found. '''The new fire is laid, but the particular kind of match is missing.''' ** ''Vision of the Future Through Eyes of Science'', News of the World, 31 October 1937 ** Reproduced in ''The Collected Essays of Sir Winston Churchill, Vol IV, Churchill at Large'', Centenary Edition (1976), Library of Imperial History, p. 414. <small>{{ISBN|0903988453}}</small> *The peace of Europe dwells under the shield of the French Army. But in a few years the German Army will be much larger than the French and increasingly its equal in maturity. The deadly years of our policy were 1934 and 1935. "The years that the locusts have eaten." I expect we shall experience the consequences of these years in the near future. **Letter to [[w:Victor Hope, 2nd Marquess of Linlithgow|Lord Linlithgow]] (3 November 1937), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 886 *I have to come to think myself in the last lap of life that one should always look back upon the history of the past, study it and meditate upon it. Thus one learns the main line of advance...it is wrong to be bound by the events and commitments of the last few years, unless these are sound and compatible with the main historic line. I am sure the right course is to know as much as possible about all that has happened in the world, and then to act entirely upon the merits from day to day. Of course, my ideal is narrow and limited. I want to see the British Empire preserved for a few more generations in its strength and splendour. Only the most prodigious exertions of British genius will achieve this result. **Letter to [[w:Victor Hope, 2nd Marquess of Linlithgow|Lord Linlithgow]] (3 November 1937), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 886 *Night and day the forges roar, the hammers descend, the hellish implements of slaughter pour out to multitudes of training troops. Statecraft is bankrupt. The unity of [[Christendom]] is a mockery. Nay, even the idea of Christianity is repudiated by a new [[paganism]]. No longer can the leading nations of the European family appeal to one another upon the [[New Testament]]. Grim war-gods from remote ages have stalked upon the scene. International good faith; the public law of Europe; the greatest good of the greatest number; the ideal of a fertile, tolerant, progressive, demilitarised, infinitely varied society, is shattered. '''Dictators ride to and fro on tigers from which they dare not dismount. And the tigers are getting hungry.''' **'Armistice—or Peace?' (11 November 1937), quoted in Winston Churchill, ''Step by Step, 1936–1939'' (1939; 1947), p. 174 * '''The story of the human race is war.''' Except for brief and precarious interludes, there has never been peace in the world; and before history began, murderous strife was universal and unending. ** ''Mankind is Confronted by One Supreme Task'', News of the World, 14 November 1937 ** Reproduced in ''The Collected Essays of Sir Winston Churchill, Vol IV, Churchill at Large'', Centenary Edition (1976), Library of Imperial History, p. 421 <small>{{ISBN|0903988453}}</small> *[I]t is a horrible thing that a race of people should be attempted to be blotted out of the society in which they have been born, that from their earliest years little children should be segregated and that they should be exposed to scorn and odium. It is very painful. Moreover, it is not only in regard to Jews that there is intolerance. Religious opinions, [[Protestantism|Protestant]] and [[Catholic Church|Catholic]] alike, are subject to a prejudice of which we fondly hoped and were brought up to believe, the nineteenth century had rid the world. **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1937/dec/21/foreign-affairs#column_1830 Speech] in the House of Commons on the Nazis (21 December 1937) *On [[w:Christmas truce|Christmas Day, 1914]], the German soldiers on the Western Front ceased firing. They placed small Christmas trees on their trenches and declared that on this day there should be peace and goodwill among suffering men. Both sides came out of their trenches and met in the blasted No-Man's Land. They clasped each other's hands, they exchanged gifts and kind words. Together they buried the dead hitherto inaccessible and deprived of the rites which raise men above the brute. Let no man worthy of human stature banish this inspiration from his mind. **'Panorama of 1937' (23 December 1937), quoted in Winston Churchill, ''Step by Step, 1936–1939'' (1939; 1947), p. 188 *The dictator Powers of Europe are striding on from strength to strength and from stroke to stroke, and the parliamentary democracies are retreating abashed and confused... [[Austria]] has been laid in thrall, and we do not know whether [[w:Czechoslovakia|Czechoslovakia]] will not suffer a similar attack... It is because we have lost these opportunities of standing firm, of having strong united forces and a good heart, and a resolute desire to defend the right and afterwards to do generously as the result of strength; it is because we have lost these successive opportunities which have presented themselves, that, when our resources are less and the dangers greater, we have been brought to this pass. I predict that the day will come when at some point or other on some issue or other you will have to make a stand, and I pray God that when that day comes we may not find that through an unwise policy we are left to make that stand alone. **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1938/feb/22/foreign-affairs#S5CV0332P0_19380222_HOC_332 Speech] in the House of Commons after the resignation of the Foreign Secretary [[Anthony Eden]] (22 February 1938) * For five years I have talked to the House on these matters – not with very great success. I have watched this famous island descending incontinently, fecklessly, the stairway which leads to a dark gulf. It is a fine broad stairway at the beginning, but after a bit the carpet ends. A little farther on there are only flagstones, and a little farther on still these break beneath your feet. [ ... ] Look back upon the last five years – since, that is to say, Germany began to rearm in earnest and openly to seek revenge ... historians a thousand years hence will still be baffled by the mystery of our affairs. They will never understand how it was that a victorious nation, with everything in hand, suffered themselves to be brought low, and to cast away all that they had gained by measureless sacrifice and absolute victory – gone with the wind! Now the victors are the vanquished, and those who threw down their arms in the field and sued for an armistice are striding on to world mastery. That is the position – that is the terrible transformation that has taken place bit by bit. ** Speech in the House of Commons (24 March 1938) [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1938/mar/24/foreign-affairs-and-rearmament#column_1454 "Foreign Affairs and Rearmament"], 12 days after the [[wikipedia:Anschluss|Anschluss]] (the Nazi annexation of Austria). * '''The shores of [[History]] are strewn with the wrecks of [[Empire|Empires]].''' ** ''Peopling the Wide, Open Spaces of Empire'', News of the World, 22 May 1938 ** Reproduced in ''The Collected Essays of Sir Winston Churchill, Vol IV, Churchill at Large'', Centenary Edition (1976), Library of Imperial History, p. 444. <small>{{ISBN|0903988453}}</small> *Everything is overshadowed by the impending trial of will-power which is developing in Europe. I think we shall have to choose in the next few weeks between war and shame, and I have very little doubt what the decision will be. **Letter to [[David Lloyd George]] (13 August 1938), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 962 *Owing to the neglect of our defences and the mishandling of the German problem in the last five years, we seem to be very near the bleak choice between War and Shame. My feel­ing is that we shall choose Shame, and then have War thrown in a lit­tle later on even more adverse terms than at present. **Letter to [[w:Walter Guinness, 1st Baron Moyne|Lord Moyne]] (September 1938), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 972 *The partition of Czechoslovakia under pressure from England and France amounts to the complete surrender of the Western Democracies to the Nazi threat of force. Such a collapse will bring peace or security neither to England nor to France. On the contrary, it will place these two nations in an ever weaker and more dangerous situation. ... It is not Czechoslovakia alone which is menaced, but also the freedom and the democracy of all nations. The belief that security can be obtained by throwing a small State to the wolves is a fatal delusion. The war potential of Germany will increase in a short time more rapidly than it will be possible for France and Great Britain to complete the measure necessary for their defence. **Statement to the Press (21 September 1938), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), pp. 978-979 *It is the end of the British Empire. **Remark to [[Harold Nicolson]] after [[Neville Chamberlain]] flew to Godesberg to meet Hitler (22 September 1938) , quoted in Harold Nicolson, ''Diaries and Letters, 1930-1964'' (1980), p. 134 *[W]e have sustained a total and unmitigated defeat, and that France has suffered even more than we have... The utmost my right hon. Friend the Prime Minister has been able to secure by all his immense exertions, by all the great efforts and mobilisation which took place in this country, and by all the anguish and strain through which we have passed in this country, the utmost he has been able to gain...for Czechoslovakia and in the matters which were in dispute has been that the German dictator, instead of snatching his victuals from the table, has been content to have them served to him course by course. **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1938/oct/05/policy-of-his-majestys-government#S5CV0339P0_19381005_HOC_216 Speech] in the House of Commons against the [[w:Munich Agreement|Munich Agreement]] (5 October 1938) *'''All is over. Silent, mournful, abandoned, broken, Czechoslovakia recedes into the darkness.''' She has suffered in every respect by her association with the Western democracies and with the League of Nations, of which she has always been an obedient servant. **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1938/oct/05/policy-of-his-majestys-government#column_364 Speech] in the House of Commons (5 October 1938) *We in this country, as in other Liberal and democratic countries, have a perfect right to exalt the principle of self-determination, but it comes ill out of the mouths of those in totalitarian States who deny even the smallest element of toleration to every section and creed within their bounds. **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1938/oct/05/policy-of-his-majestys-government#column_365 Speech] in the House of Commons (5 October 1938) *I venture to think that in future the Czechoslovak State cannot be maintained as an independent entity. You will find that in a period of time which may be measured by years, but may be measured only by months, Czechoslovakia will be engulfed in the Nazi régime... It is the most grievous consequence which we have yet experienced of what we have done and of what we have left undone in the last five years—five years of futile good intention, five years of eager search for the line of least resistance, five years of uninterrupted retreat of British power, five years of neglect of our air defences. **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1938/oct/05/policy-of-his-majestys-government#column_366 Speech] in the House of Commons (5 October 1938) *We are in the presence of a disaster of the first magnitude which has befallen Great Britain and France. Do not let us blind ourselves to that. It must now be accepted that all the countries of [[East/Central Europe|Central and Eastern Europe]] will make the best terms they can with the triumphant Nazi Power. The [[w:Little Entente|system of alliances in Central Europe]] upon which France has relied for her safety has been swept away, and I can see no means by which it can be reconstituted... If the Nazi dictator should choose to look westward, as he may, bitterly will France and England regret the loss of that fine army of ancient Bohemia which was estimated last week to require not fewer than 30 German divisions for its destruction. **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1938/oct/05/policy-of-his-majestys-government#column_368 Speech] in the House of Commons (5 October 1938) *Many people, no doubt, honestly believe that they are only giving away the interests of Czechoslovakia, whereas I fear we shall find that we have deeply compromised, and perhaps fatally endangered, the safety and even the independence of Great Britain and France... You have to consider the character of the Nazi movement and the rule which it implies. The Prime Minister desires to see cordial relations between this country and Germany. There is no difficulty at all in having cordial relations with the German people. Our hearts go out to them. But they have no power. You must have diplomatic and correct relations, '''but there can never be friendship between the British democracy and the Nazi Power, that Power which spurns Christian ethics, which cheers its onward course by a barbarous paganism, which vaunts the spirit of aggression and conquest, which derives strength and perverted pleasure from persecution, and uses, as we have seen, with pitiless brutality the threat of murderous force. That Power cannot ever be the trusted friend of the British democracy.''' **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1938/oct/05/policy-of-his-majestys-government#column_370 Speech] in the House of Commons (5 October 1938) *What I find unendurable is the sense of our country falling into the power, into the orbit and influence of [[Nazi Germany]], and of our existence becoming dependent upon their good will or pleasure. It is to prevent that that I have tried my best to urge the maintenance of every bulwark of defence—first the timely creation of an [[Royal Air Force|Air Force]] superior to anything within striking distance of our shores; secondly, the gathering together of the collective strength of many nations; and thirdly, the making of alliances and military conventions, all within the Covenant, in order to gather together forces at any rate to restrain the onward movement of this Power. It has all been in vain. Every position has been successively undermined and abandoned on specious and plausible excuses. **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1938/oct/05/policy-of-his-majestys-government#column_370 Speech] in the House of Commons (5 October 1938) *I do not grudge our loyal, brave people, who were ready to do their duty no matter what the cost, who never flinched under the strain of last week—I do not grudge them the natural, spontaneous outburst of joy and relief when they learned that the hard ordeal would no longer be required of them at the moment; but they should know the truth. They should know that there has been gross neglect and deficiency in our defences; they should know that we have sustained a defeat without a war, the consequences of which will travel far with us along our road; they should know that '''we have passed an awful milestone in our history, when the whole equilibrium of Europe has been deranged, and that the terrible words have for the time being been pronounced against the Western democracies: "Thou art weighed in the balance and found wanting."''' And do not suppose that this is the end. '''This is only the beginning of the reckoning. This is only the first sip, the first foretaste of a bitter cup which will be proffered to us year by year unless by a supreme recovery of moral health and martial vigour, we arise again and take our stand for freedom as in the olden time.''' **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1938/oct/05/policy-of-his-majestys-government#column_373 Speech] in the House of Commons (5 October 1938) * '''The stations of uncensored expression are closing down; the lights are going out; but there is still time for those to whom freedom and parliamentary government mean something, to consult together. Let me, then, speak in truth and earnestness while time remains.''' ** [[Winston Churchill]], in [http://www.winstonchurchill.org/learn/speeches/speeches-of-winston-churchill/524-the-defence-of-freedom-and-peace "The Defence of Freedom and Peace (The Lights are Going Out)", radio broadcast to the United States and to London (16 October 1938)]. * '''People say we ought not to allow ourselves to be drawn into a theoretical antagonism between Nazidom and democracy; but the antagonism is here now.''' It is this very conflict of spiritual and moral ideas which gives the free countries a great part of their strength. '''You see these dictators on their pedestals, surrounded by the bayonets of their soldiers and the truncheons of their police.''' On all sides they are guarded by masses of armed men, cannons, [[Airplane|aeroplanes]], fortifications, and the like — they boast and vaunt themselves before the world, yet in their hearts there is unspoken fear. '''They are afraid of words and thoughts; words spoken abroad, thoughts stirring at home — all the more powerful because forbidden — terrify them. A little mouse of thought appears in the room, and even the mightiest potentates are thrown into panic. They make frantic efforts to bar our thoughts and words; they are afraid of the workings of the human mind.''' Cannons, airplanes, they can manufacture in large quantities; but how are they to quell the natural promptings of human nature, which after all these centuries of trial and progress has inherited a whole armoury of potent and indestructible knowledge? **"The Defence of Freedom and Peace (The Lights are Going Out)", radio broadcast to the United States and to London (16 October 1938). * I have always said that if [[Great Britain]] were defeated in war I hoped we should find a Hitler to lead us back to our rightful position among the nations. I am sorry, however, that he has not been mellowed by the great success that has attended him. The whole world would rejoice to see the Hitler of [[peace]] and [[tolerance]], and nothing would adorn his name in world history so much as acts of [[magnanimity]] and of [[mercy]] and of [[pity]] to the forlorn and friendless, to the weak and poor... Let this great man search his own heart and conscience before he accuses anyone of being a warmonger. ** "Mr. Churchill's Reply" in ''[[wikipedia:The Times|The Times]]'' (7 November 1938). *Are we going to make a supreme additional effort to remain a great Power, or are we going to slide away into what seem to be easier, softer, less strenuous, less harassing courses, with all the tremendous renunciations which that decision implies? Is not this the moment when all should hear the deep, repeated strokes of the alarm bell, and when all should resolve that it shall be a call to action, and not the knell of our race and fame? **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1938/nov/17/debate-on-the-address#S5CV0341P0_19381117_HOC_347 Speech] in the House of Commons (17 November 1938) *The [[Neville Chamberlain|Prime Minister]] said...that where I failed, for all my brilliant gifts, was in the faculty of judging. I will gladly submit my judgement about foreign affairs and national defence during the last five years, in comparison with his own... In February the Prime Minister said the tension in Europe had greatly relaxed. A few weeks later Nazi Germany seized Austria. I predicted that he would repeat this statement as soon as the shock of the rape of Austria passed away. He did so in the very same words at the end of July. By the middle of August Germany was mobilising...which...ended in the complete destruction and absorption of the Republic of Czecho-Slovakia... [I]n November...he told us that Europe was settling down to a more peaceful state. The words were hardly out of his mouth before the Nazi atrocities on the Jewish population resounded throughout the civilised world. **Speech in Chingford (9 December 1938), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 1025 *In 1934 I warned [[Stanley Baldwin|Mr. Baldwin]] that the Germans had a secret Air Force and were rapidly overhauling ours. I gave definite figures and forecasts. Of course, it was all denied with all the weight of official authority. I was depicted a scaremonger. Less than six months after Mr. Baldwin had to come down to the House and admit he was wrong... He got more applause for making this mistake, which may prove fatal to the British Empire and to British freedom, than ordinary people would do after they rendered some great service which added to its security and power. Well, Mr. Chamberlain was, next to Mr. Baldwin, the most powerful Member of that Government. He was Chancellor of the Exchequer. He knew all the facts. His judgment failed just like that of Mr. Baldwin and we are suffering from the consequences today. **Speech in Chingford (9 December 1938), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 1026 *To say that an [[w:Arms_race|arms race]] always leads to war seems to me to be putting the cart before the horse. A government resolved to attain ends detrimental to its neighbours, which does not shrink from the possibility of war, makes preparations for war, its neighbours take defensive action, and you say an arms race is beginning. But this is the symptom of the intention of one government to challenge or destroy its neighbours, not the cause of the conflict. The pace is set by the potential aggressor, and, failing collective action by the rest of the world to resist him, the alternatives are an arms race or surrender. **[https://www.newstatesman.com/politics/2015/01/winston-churchill-new-statesman-archive Interview] with [[w:Kingsley Martin|Kingsley Martin]] for the ''[[w:New Statesman|New Statesman]]'' (7 January 1939) *'''[[War]] is horrible, but slavery is worse, and you may be sure that the British people would rather go down fighting than live in servitude.''' **[https://www.newstatesman.com/politics/2015/01/winston-churchill-new-statesman-archive Interview] with [[w:Kingsley Martin|Kingsley Martin]] for the ''[[w:New Statesman|New Statesman]]'' (7 January 1939) *In the main, the theme is emerging of the growth of freedom and law, of the rights of the individual, of the subordination of the State to the fundamental and moral conceptions of an ever-comprehending community. Of these ideas the English-speaking peoples were the authors, then the trustees, and must now become the armed champions. Thus I condemn tyranny in whatever guise and from whatever quarter it presents itself. All this of course has a current application. **Letter to [[w:Maurice Ashley (historian)|Maurice Ashley]] on his work on ''A History of the English Speaking Peoples'' (12 April 1939), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1976), p. 1063 *You were given the choice between war and dishonour. You chose dishonour and you will have war.<ref>{{Cite web|title=Winston Churchill Quotes {{!}} Military History Matters|url=https://www.military-history.org/feature/winston-churchill-quotes.htm|website=www.military-history.org|date=2010-11-20|accessdate=2022-03-09|language=en-US|first=Military History|last=Matters}}</ref> === The Second World War (1939–1945) === [[File:Wc0196.jpg|thumb|244x244px|Winston Churchill addressing a joint session of the United States Congress, May 1943.]] [[File:Royal Air Force Operations in the Middle East and North Africa, 1939-1943. CM354.jpg|thumb|I never "worry" about action, but only about inaction.]] [[File:Hoag's object.jpg|thumb|Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.]] * '''Everyone can see how [[communism]] rots the soul of a nation. How it makes it abject in peace and proves it abominable in war.''' ** Part of a speech played on the documentary Timewatch - Russia: A Century of Suspicion. * '''I cannot forecast to you the action of [[Russia]]. It is a riddle wrapped in a [[mystery]] inside an enigma''': but perhaps there is a key. That key is Russian national interest. ** BBC broadcast ("The Russian Enigma"), London, October 1, 1939 ([http://www.churchill-society-london.org.uk/RusnEnig.html partial text], [https://ww2memories.wordpress.com/2011/09/24/churchills-ww2-speech-to-the-nation-october-1939/ transcript of the "First Month of War" speech]). * '''First, [[Invasion of Poland|Poland has been again overrun]] by two of the great powers which held her in bondage for 150 years but were unable to quench the spirit of the Polish nation. The heroic defence of Warsaw shows that the soul of [[Poland]] is indestructible, and that she will rise again like a rock which may for a spell be submerged by a tidal wave but which remains a rock.''' ** BBC broadcast ("The Russian Enigma"), London, October 1, 1939 ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-Et45bs95I First Month of War (excerpt)], [https://ww2memories.wordpress.com/2011/09/24/churchills-ww2-speech-to-the-nation-october-1939/ transcript of the full text]). * The traditional British view is that character is what matters in a general. They like a solid, simple man, with no newfangled nonsense about him. He should be preternaturally silent. If by chance he thinks at all he should not let this leak out, otherwise confidence would be destroyed. ** ''Today's Battles''. Collier's, 7 October 1939. ** Reproduced in ''The Collected Essays of Sir Winston Churchill, Vol I, Churchill at War'', Centenary Edition (1976), Library of Imperial History, p. 487. <small>{{ISBN|0903988429}}</small> *The whole world is against Hitler and Hitlerism. Men of every race and clime feel that this monstrous apparition stands between them and the forward move which is their due, and for which the age is ripe. Even in Germany itself there are millions who stand aloof from the seething mass of [[criminality]] and [[corruption]] constituted by the [[w:Nazi_Party|Nazi Party]] machine. Let them take courage amid perplexities and perils, for it may well be that the final extinction of a baleful domination will pave the way to a broader solidarity of all the men in all the lands than we could ever have planned if we had not marched together through the fire. **Broadcast (12 November 1939), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Finest Hour: Winston S. Churchill, 1939–1941'' (1983), p. 81 * '''I never "worry" about action, but only about inaction.''' ** Source: Winston Churchill (Author) and Richard Langworth (Editor) (28. Oktober 2008): ''Churchill by Himself: The Definitive Collection of Quotations''. New York: PublicAffairs (1st Edition), page 160. *** See also: 1940s. Passim. Martin Gilbert, ''The Churchill War Papers'', Volume II: ''Never Surrender, May 1940-December 1940''. London: Heinemann, New York: Norton, 1994, page xvi, where Sir Martin writes in his Preface: "''Inefficiency, incompetence and negative attitudes roused his ire: I have indicated some examples of this in the Churchill index entry, under "rebukes by." He did not take kindly to what he called "a drizzle of carping criticism," or to those officials, military or civilian, who, as he expressed it, "failed to rise to the height of circumstances." Among his injunctions to his Ministers were, "Don't let this matter sleep," and, "I never 'worry' about action, but only about inaction."''" *** See also: In a letter, on page 1184 of the above work: Concerning "[[w:Operation Compass|Operation Compass]]," the first major British offensive in North Africa, Churchill wrote to General Dill on 7 December 1940: "''If, with the situation as it is, General Wavell is only playing small, and is not hurling on his whole available forces with furious energy, he will have failed to rise to the height of circumstances. I never "worry" about action, but only about inaction.''" **** Source for all the aforementioned information: Richard M. Langworth (Senior fellow, Hillsdale College Churchill Project, Writer and Historian) (March 4, 2009): Churchill on Action vs. Inaction. [https://web.archive.org/web/20200602062301/https://richardlangworth.com/i-never-worry-about-action-but-only-about-inaction Archived on June 2, 2020] and [http://archive.is/Xgxu6 secured on June 2, 2020] from the [https://richardlangworth.com/i-never-worry-about-action-but-only-about-inaction original]. *In the bitter and increasingly exacting conflict which lies before us we are resolved to keep nothing back, and not to be outstripped by any in service to the common cause. Let the great cities of [[w:Warsaw|Warsaw]], of [[Prague]], of [[Vienna]] banish despair even in the midst of their agony. Their liberation is sure. The day will come when the joybells will ring again throughout Europe, and when victorious nations, masters not only of their foes but of themselves, will plan and build in justice, in tradition, and in freedom a house of many mansions where there will be room for all. **Broadcast (20 January 1940), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Finest Hour: Winston S. Churchill, 1939–1941'' (1983), p. 138 * I would say to the House, as I said to those who have joined this Government: '''<nowiki/>'I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat.'''' We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. We have before us many, many long months of struggle and of suffering. '''You ask, what is our policy? I will say: It is to wage war, by sea, land and air, with all our might and with all the strength that God can give us: to wage war against a monstrous tyranny, never surpassed in the dark, lamentable catalogue of human crime. That is our policy. You ask, what is our aim? I can answer in one word: It is victory, victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory, however long and hard the road may be; for without victory, there is no survival.''' ** Speech in the [[wikipedia:House of Commons|House of Commons]], after taking office as [[wikipedia:Prime Minister|Prime Minister]] (13 May 1940) This has often been misquoted in the form: ''"I have nothing to offer but blood, sweat and tears ..."'' ** The Official Report, House of Commons (5th Series), 13 May 1940, vol. 360, c. 1502. Audio records of the speech do spare out the "It is" before the in the beginning of the "Victory"-Part. *I speak to you for the first time as Prime Minister, in a solemn hour of the life of our country, of our Empire, of our Allies, and, above all, of the cause of Freedom. ... I am sure I speak for all when I say we are ready to face it; to endure it; and to retaliate against it—to any extent that the unwritten laws of war permit. There will be many men and women in this Island who when the ordeal comes upon them, as come it will, will feel comfort, and even a pride, that they are sharing the perils of our lads at the Front—soldiers, sailors and airmen, God bless them—and are drawing away from them a part at least of the onslaught they have to bear. Is not this the appointed time for all to make the utmost exertions in their power? **Broadcast (19 May 1940), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Finest Hour: Winston S. Churchill, 1939–1941'' (1983), p. 363 *We have differed and quarrelled in the past but now one bond unites us all—to wage war until victory is won, and never to surrender ourselves to servitude and shame, whatever the cost and the agony must be. **Broadcast (19 May 1940), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Finest Hour: Winston S. Churchill, 1939–1941'' (1983), p. 364 * Side by side ... the British and French peoples have advanced to rescue ... mankind from the foulest and most soul-destroying tyranny which has ever darkened and stained the pages of history. Behind them ... gather a group of shattered States and bludgeoned races: the [[w:Czechs|Czechs]], the [[Poland|Poles]], the [[Norwegians]], the [[Denmark|Danes]], the [[Dutch people|Dutch]], the [[Belgium|Belgians]] -- upon all of whom the long night of barbarism will descend, unbroken even by a star of hope, '''unless we conquer, as conquer we must; as conquer we shall.''' ** Radio broadcast, [[wikipedia:Be Ye Men of Valour|Be Ye Men of Valour]], May 19, 1940 ([http://www.churchill-society-london.org.uk/BeYeMofV.html partial text]). *I have thought carefully in these last days whether it was part of my duty to consider entering negotiations with That Man. But it was idle to think that, if we tried to make peace now, we should get better terms than if we fought it out. The Germans would demand our fleet—that would be called 'disarmament'—our naval bases, and much else. We should become a slave state, though a British Government which would be Hitler's puppet would be set up—under [[Oswald Mosley|Mosley]] or some such person. And where should we be at the end of all that? On the other hand, we had immense reserves and advantages. And I am convinced that every man of you would rise up and tear me from my place if I were for one moment to contemplate parley or surrender. '''If this long island story of ours is to end at last, let it end only when each one of us lies choking in his own blood upon the ground.''' **Speech to the Cabinet (28 May 1940), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Finest Hour: Winston S. Churchill, 1939–1941'' (1983), p. 420 *I believe we shall make them rue the day they try to invade our island. No such discussion can be permitted. **Minute (1 June 1940) in response to the Foreign Office's suggestion that preparations should be made for the evacuation of the Royal Family and the British Government to "some part of the Overseas Empire", quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Finest Hour: Winston S. Churchill, 1939–1941'' (1983), p. 449 *No, bury them in caves and cellars. None must go. We are going to beat them. **Minute (1 June 1940) in response to the suggestion of [[w:Kenneth Clark|Kenneth Clark]] (Director of the [[w:National Gallery|National Gallery]]) that the National Gallery's paintings should be sent to Canada, quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Finest Hour: Winston S. Churchill, 1939–1941'' (1983), p. 449 * Every morn brought forth a noble chance, and every chance brought forth a noble knight. ** Speech in the House of Commons, June 4, 1940; passage praising the airmen of the [[wikipedia:Royal Air Force|Royal Air Force]] and their efforts during the evacuation of [[wikipedia:Dunkirk evacuation|Dunkirk]]. This is a close paraphrase of Tennyson: *** When every morning brought a noble chance, <br> And every chance brought out a noble knight. *** [[Alfred Tennyson]], ''[http://home.att.net/~TennysonPoetry/mort.htm "Morte d'Arthur"]'', stanza 23 (1842), and the expanded "[[wikisource:The Passing of Arthur|The Passing of Arthur]]", stanza 36 in ''[[wikipedia:Idylls of the King|Idylls of the King]]'' (1856–1885) * '''We shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, ''we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender'', and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this Island or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our Empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the British Fleet, would carry on the struggle, until, in God's good time, the New World, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the Old.''' ** [[:s:We shall fight on the beaches|Speech in the House of Commons (4 June 1940)]]. * '''Enterprises must be prepared, with specially-trained troops of the hunter class, who can develop a reign of terror down these coasts, first of all on the "butcher and bolt" policy'''; but later on, or perhaps as soon as we are organised, we could surprise Calais or Boulogne, kill and capture the Hun garrison, and hold the place until all preparations to reduce it by siege or heavy storm have been made, and then away. The passive resistance war, in which we have acquitted ourselves so well, must come to an end. I look to the Joint Chiefs of the Staff to propose me measures for a vigorous, enterprising and ceaseless offensive against the whole German-occupied coastline. ** Minute to [[w:Hastings_Ismay,_1st_Baron_Ismay|General Ismay]], 6 June 1940. ** Reproduced in ''T[[w:The_Second_World_War_(book_series)|he Second World War]], Vol II, Their Finest Hour,'' 1949, Cassell & Co Ltd, p. 217. *The news from France is very bad, and I grieve for the gallant [[French people]] who have fallen into this terrible misfortune. Nothing will alter our feelings towards them or our faith that the genius of France will rise again. What has happened in France makes no difference to our actions and purpose. We have become the sole champions now in arms to defend the world cause. We shall do our best to be worthy of this high honour. We shall defend our Island home, and with the British Empire we shall fight on unconquerable until the curse of Hitler is lifted from the brows of mankind. We are sure that in the end all will come right. **Broadcast (17 June 1940), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Finest Hour: Winston S. Churchill, 1939–1941'' (1983), p. 566 * Of this I am quite sure, that '''if we open a quarrel between the past and the present, we shall find that we have lost the future.''' ** Speech in the House of Commons, June 18, 1940 [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1940/jun/18/war-situation#column_52 "War Situation"]. * Upon this battle depends the survival of Christian civilisation. Upon it depends our own British life and the long continuity of our institutions and our Empire. The whole fury and might of the enemy must very soon be turned on us now. Hitler knows that he will have to break us in this island or lose the war. If we can stand up to him, all Europe may be free and the life of the world may move forward into broad, sunlit uplands. But if we fail, then the whole world, including the [[United States]], including all that we have known and cared for, will sink into the abyss of a new [[Dark Ages|Dark Age]], made more sinister, and perhaps more protracted, by the lights of perverted [[science]]. '''Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that, if the British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, 'This was their finest hour.'''' ** Speech in the House of Commons, June 18, 1940 [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1940/jun/18/war-situation#column_60 "War Situation"]. *I certainly shd welcome any approach to Irish unity: but I have 40 years experience of its difficulties. I cd never be a party to the coercion of Ulster to join the Southern counties: but I am much in favour of their being persuaded. The key to this is [[Eamon de Valera|de Valera]] showing some loyalty to Crown & Empire. **Letter and Minute (18 June 1940), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Finest Hour: Winston S. Churchill, 1939–1941'' (1983), p. 433 * Here in this strong City of Refuge which enshrines the title-deeds of human progress and is of deep consequence to Christian civilisation; here, girt about by the seas and oceans where the Navy reigns; shielded from above by the prowess and devotion of our airmen—we await undismayed the impending assault. Perhaps it will come tonight. Perhaps it will come next week. Perhaps it will never come. We must show ourselves equally capable of meeting a sudden violent shock or—what is perhaps a harder test—a prolonged vigil. But '''be the ordeal sharp or long, or both, we shall seek no terms, we shall tolerate no parley; we may show mercy—we shall ask for none.''' **Broadcast (14 July 1940), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Finest Hour: Winston S. Churchill, 1939–1941'' (1983), p. 664 *This is no war of chieftains or of [[Prince|princes]], of dynasties or national ambition; it is a war of peoples and of causes. There are vast numbers, not only in this Island but in every land, who will render faithful service in this war, but whose names will never be known, whose deeds will never be recorded. '''This is a War of the Unknown Warrior'''; but let all strive without failing in faith or in duty, and the dark curse of Hitler will be lifted from our age. **Broadcast (14 July 1940), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Finest Hour: Winston S. Churchill, 1939–1941'' (1983), p. 665 *'''And now go and set Europe ablaze''' **Entry from Monday 22 July 1940, foundation of the Special Operations Executive (SOE) **Dalton, Hugh (1986). ''The Second World War Diary of Hugh Dalton 1940-45''. Jonathan Cape. p. 62. ISBN 022402065X *The gratitude of every home in our Island, in our Empire, and indeed throughout the world, except in the abodes of the guilty, goes out to the British airmen who, undaunted by odds, unwearied in their constant challenge and mortal danger, are turning the tide of the World War by their prowess and by their devotion. '''Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few.''' All hearts go out to the fighter pilots, whose brilliant actions we see with our own eyes day after day; but we must never forget that all the time, night after night, month after month, our bomber squadrons travel far into Germany, find their targets in the darkness by the highest navigational skill, aim their attacks, often under the heaviest fire, often with serious loss, with deliberate careful discrimination, and inflict shattering blows upon the whole of the technical and war-making structure of the Nazi power. **[[wikisource:The Few|Speech in the House of Commons]], also known as "[[wikipedia:The Few|The Few]]", made on 20 August 1940. However Churchill first made his comment, "Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few" to [[wikipedia:Hastings Ismay, 1st Baron Ismay|General Hastings Ismay]] as they got into their car to leave RAF Uxbridge on 16 August 1940 after monitoring the battle from the Operations Room.{{Cite web |url=http://www.globalaviationresource.com/reports/2010/uxbridge.php |title=Farewell to RAF Uxbridge |date=6 April 2010 |publisher=Global Aviation Resource |accessdate=12 September 2010}} {{cite book |first=Hazel |last=Crozier |title= RAF Uxbridge 90th Anniversary 1917–2007 |publisher=RAF High Wycombe: Air Command Media Services }} Churchill repeated the quote in a speech to Parliament four days later complimenting the pilots in the [[wikipedia:Royal Air Force|Royal Air Force]] during the [[wikipedia:Battle of Britain|Battle of Britain]]. The speech in the House of Commons is often incorrectly cited as the origin of the popular phrase "[[wikipedia:Never was so much owed by so many to so few|never was so much owed by so many to so few]]". Queen Elizabeth II during her speech in Polish Parliament 26.03.1996 said that Churchill said "so few" about unforgettable and brave Polish pilots from Battle of Britain. *Now that they have begun to molest the capital, I want you to hit them hard − and Berlin is the place to hit them. **To the Chief of the Air Staff (26 August 1940) after the ''Luftwaffe'' bombed London, quoted in John Colville, ''The Fringes of Power: Downing Street Diaries 1939-1955'' (1985), p. 230 *We cannot tell when they will try to come; we cannot be sure that in fact they will come at all; but no one should blind himself to the fact that a heavy full-scale invasion of this Island is being prepared with all the usual German thoroughness and method, and that it may be launched at any time now. ... Therefore, we must regard the next week or so as a very important week for us in our history. It ranks with the days of the [[w:Spanish_Armada|Spanish Armada]] was approaching the Channel, and [[Francis Drake|Drake]] was finishing his game of bowls; or when [[Horatio Nelson|Nelson]] stood between us and [[Napoleon Bonaparte|Napoleon]]'s [[w:Grand_Armee|Grand Army]] at Boulogne. We have read all about this in the history books; but what is happening now is on a far greater scale and of far more consequence to the life and future of the world and its civilization than these brave old days of the past. Every man and every woman will therefore prepare himself to do his duty, whatever it may be, with special pride and care. **Broadcast (11 September 1940), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Finest Hour: Winston S. Churchill, 1939–1941'' (1983), p. 778 * These [[w:The_Blitz|cruel, wanton, indiscriminate bombings]] of [[London]] are, of course, a part of Hitler's invasion plans. He hopes, by [[Civilian casualties|killing large numbers of civilians]], and [[women]] and [[children]], that he will terrorise and cow the people of this mighty imperial city ... Little does he know the spirit of the British nation, or the tough fibre of the Londoners. ** Radio broadcast during the London Blitz, September 11, 1940. Quoted by Martin Gilbert in ''Churchill: A Life'', Macmillan (1992), p. 675 <small>{{ISBN|0805023968}}</small> *This wicked man, the repository and embodiment of many forms of soul-destroying hatreds, this monstrous product of former wrongs and shame, has now resolved to try to break our famous Island race by a process of indiscriminate slaughter and destruction. What he has done is to kindle a fire in British hearts, here and all over the world, which will glow long after all traces of the conflagration he has caused in London have been removed. He has lighted a fire which will burn with a steady and consuming flame until the last vestiges of Nazi tyranny have been ''burnt'' out of Europe, and until the Old World—and the New—can join hands to rebuild the temples of man's freedom and man's honour, upon foundations which will not soon or easily be overthrown. **Broadcast (11 September 1940), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Finest Hour: Winston S. Churchill, 1939–1941'' (1983), p. 779 * '''We are waiting for the long-promised invasion. So are the fishes.''' ** Radio broadcast, London, ''Dieu Protège La France'' [''God protect France''], October 21, 1940 ([http://www.churchill-society-london.org.uk/LaFrance.html partial text]). * Goodnight then: sleep to gather strength for the morning. For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn. Vive la France! Long live also the forward march of the common people in all the lands towards their just and true inheritance, and towards the broader and fuller age. ** Radio broadcast, London, ''Dieu Protège La France'' [''God protect France''], October 21, 1940 ([http://www.churchill-society-london.org.uk/LaFrance.html partial text]). * We do not covet anything from any nation except their respect. ** [http://books.google.com/books?id=_YBkWL9XBfcC&q=%22We+do+not+covet+anything+from+any+nation+except+their+respect%22&pg=PA403#v=onepage Radio broadcast] to [[wikipedia:German military administration in occupied France during World War II|German occupied]], [[wikipedia:Vichy France|Vichy]], and [[wikipedia:Free France|Free France]] (21 October 1940) *Hitler, in one of his recent discourses, declared that the fight was between those who have been through the Adolf Hitler Schools and those who have been at [[w:Eton College|Eton]]. Hitler has forgotten Harrow. **Speech to [[w:Harrow School|Harrow School]] (18 December 1940), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Finest Hour: Winston S. Churchill, 1939–1941'' (1983), p. 949 *When this war is won by this nation, as it surely will be, it must be one of our aims to work to establish a state of society where the advantage and privileges which hitherto have been enjoyed only by the few shall be far more widely shared by the many and the youth of the nation as a whole. **Speech to Harrow School (18 December 1940), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Finest Hour: Winston S. Churchill, 1939–1941'' (1983), p. 950 * The hour has come; kill the Hun. ** How Churchill said he would end his speech if Germany invaded Britain ([[wikipedia:John Colville (civil servant)|John Colville]]'s diary entry for January 25, 1941). In ''The Churchill War Papers : 1941'' (1993), ed. Gilbert, W.W. Norton, pp. 132–133 <small>{{ISBN|0393019594}}</small> *In order to win this war Hitler must destroy Great Britain. He may carry havoc into the [[Balkans|Balkan States]]; he may tear great provinces out of Russia; he may march to the [[w:Caspian_Sea|Caspian]]; he may march to the gates of India. All this will avail him nothing. It may spread his curse more widely throughout Europe and Asia, but it will not avert his doom. With every month that passes the many proud and once happy countries he is now holding down by brute force and vile intrigue are learning to hate the Prussian yoke and the Nazi name as nothing has ever been hated so fiercely and so widely among men before. And all the time, masters of the sea and air, the British Empire—nay, in a certain sense, the whole English-speaking world—will be on his track bearing with them the swords of justice. **Broadcast (9 February 1941), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Finest Hour: Winston S. Churchill, 1939–1941'' (1983), p. 1009 * Here is the answer which I will give to President Roosevelt: Put your confidence in us. ... '''We shall not fail or falter; we shall not weaken or tire. Neither the sudden shock of battle, nor the long-drawn trials of vigilance and exertion will wear us down. Give us the tools and we will finish the job.''' ** BBC radio broadcast, February 9, 1941. In ''The Churchill War Papers : 1941'' (1993), ed. Gilbert, W.W. Norton, pp. 199–200 <small>{{ISBN|0393019594}}</small> * I must point out ... that '''the British nation is unique in this respect. They are the only people who like to be told how bad things are, who like to be told the worst,''' and like to be told that they are very likely to get much worse in the future and must prepare themselves for further reverses. ** Speech in the House of Commons, June 10, 1941 [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1941/jun/10/defence-of-crete#column_152 "Defence of Crete"], in ''The Churchill War Papers : 1941'' (1993), Churchill/Gilbert, Norton, p. 785 <small>{{ISBN|0393019594}}</small> * '''If Hitler invaded [[Hell]], I would make at least a favourable reference to the [[devil]] in the House of Commons.''' ** To his personal secretary [[wikipedia:Jock Colville|John Colville]] the evening before [[wikipedia:Operation Barbarossa|Operation Barbarossa]], the German invasion of the [[wikipedia:Union of Soviet Socialist Republics|Soviet Union]]. As quoted by Andrew Nagorski in ''The Greatest Battle'' (2007), Simon & Schuster, pp. 150–151 <small>{{ISBN|0743281101}}</small> *No one has been a more consistent opponent of [[Communism]] than I have for the last twenty-five years. I will unsay no word that I have spoken about it. But all this fades away before the spectacle which is now unfolding. ... I see the Russian soldiers standing on the threshold of their native land, guarding the fields which their fathers have tilled from time immemorial. I see them guarding their homes where mothers and wives pray—ah, yes, for there are times when all pray—for the safety of their loved ones, for the return of the bread-winner, of their champion, of their protector. I see the ten thousand villages of Russia where the means of existence is wrung so hardly from the soil, but where there are still primordial human joys, where maidens laugh and children play. **Radio broadcast (22 June 1941) on the day Germany invaded the Soviet Union, quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Finest Hour: Winston S. Churchill, 1939–1941'' (1983), p. 1120 *I see advancing upon all this in hideous onslaught the Nazi war machine, with its clanking, heel-clicking, dandified Prussian officers, its crafty expert agents fresh from the cowing and tying down of a dozen countries. I see also the dull, drilled, docile, brutish masses of the Hun soldiery plodding on like a swarm of crawling locusts. I see the German bombers and fighters in the sky, still smarting from many a British whipping, delighted to find what they believe is an easier and a safer prey. **Radio broadcast (22 June 1941) on the day Germany invaded the Soviet Union, quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Finest Hour: Winston S. Churchill, 1939–1941'' (1983), pp. 1120-1121 *I have to make the declaration, but can you doubt what our policy will be? We have but one aim and one single, irrevocable purpose. We are resolved to destroy Hitler and every vestige of the Nazi regime. From this nothing will turn us—nothing. We will never parley, we will never negotiate with Hitler or any of his gang. We shall fight him by land, we shall fight him by sea, we shall fight him in the air, until, with God's help, we have rid the earth of his shadow and liberated its peoples from his yoke. Any man or state who fights on against Nazidom will have our aid. Any man or state who marches with Hitler is our foe. That is our policy and that is our declaration. It follows therefore that we shall give whatever help we can to Russia and the Russian people. **Radio broadcast (22 June 1941) on the day Germany invaded the Soviet Union, quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Finest Hour: Winston S. Churchill, 1939–1941'' (1983), p. 1121 * Hitler is a monster of wickedness, insatiable in his lust for blood and plunder. Not content with having all Europe under his heel, or else terrorised into various forms of abject submission, he must now carry his work of butchery and desolation among the vast multitudes of Russia and of [[Asia]]. The terrible military machine — which we and the rest of the civilised world so foolishly, so supinely, so insensately allowed the Nazi gangsters to build up year by year from almost nothing — cannot stand idle lest it rust or fall to pieces. ... So now this bloodthirsty guttersnipe must launch his mechanized armies upon new fields of slaughter, pillage and devastation. ** Radio broadcast on the German invasion of Russia, June 22, 1941. In ''The Churchill War Papers : 1941'' (1993), W.W. Norton, pp. 835–836 <small>{{ISBN|0393019594}}</small> * We ask no favours of the enemy. We seek from them no compunction. On the contrary, if tonight the people of London were asked to cast their votes as to whether a convention should be entered into to stop the bombing of all cities, an overwhelming majority would cry, "No, we will mete out to the Germans the measure, and more than the measure, they have meted out to us." {applause} The people of London with one voice would say to Hitler: "You have committed every crime under the sun. Where you have been the least resisted there you have been the most brutal. It was you who began the indiscriminate bombing. We remember [[Warsaw]]! In the first few days of the war. We remember [[w:Rotterdam|Rotterdam]]. We have been newly reminded of your habits by the hideous massacre in [[Belgrade]]. We know too well the bestial assaults you're making upon the [[Russians|Russian people]], to whom our hearts go out in their valiant struggle! {cheers} We will have no truce or parley with you, or the grisly gang who work your wicked will! '''You do your worst! — and we will do our best!''' {sustained cheering} Perhaps it may be our turn soon. Perhaps it may be our turn now." ** [[July 14]], [[1941]], in a speech before the London County Council. The original can be found in Churchill's ''The Unrelenting Struggle'' (English edition 187; American edition 182) or in the ''Complete Speeches'' VI:6448. *The [[Red Army|Russian Armies]] and all the peoples of the Russian Republic have rallied to the defence of their hearths and homes. ... The aggressor is surprised, startled, staggered. For the first time in his experience mass murder has become unprofitable. He retaliates by the most frightful cruelties. As his armies advance, whole districts are being exterminated. Scores of thousands—literally scores of thousands—of executions in cold blood are being perpetrated by the German police-troops upon the Russian patriots who defend their native soil. Since the [[Mongol invasions and conquests|Mongol invasions of Europe]] in the sixteenth century, there has never been methodical, merciless butchery on such a scale, or approaching such a scale. And this is but the beginning. Famine and pestilence have yet to follow in the bloody ruts of Hitler's tanks. We are in the presence of a crime without a name. **Broadcast (24 August 1941), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Finest Hour: Winston S. Churchill, 1939–1941'' (1983), p. 1173 * '''Never give in — never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense.''' Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy. ** Speech given at [[wikipedia:Harrow School|Harrow School]], Harrow, England, October 29, 1941. Quoted in ''Churchill by Himself'' (2008), ed. Langworth, PublicAffairs, 2008, p. 23 <small>{{ISBN|1586486381}}</small> *We stood all alone a year ago, and to many countries it seemed that our account was closed, we were finished. All this tradition of ours, our songs, our School history, this part of the history of this country, were gone and finished and liquidated. Very different is the mood today. Britain, other nations thought, had drawn a sponge across her slate. But instead our country stood in the gap. There was no flinching and no thought of giving in; and by what seemed almost a miracle to those outside these Islands, though we ourselves never doubted it, we now find ourselves in a position where I say that we can be sure that we have only to persevere to conquer. **Speech to Harrow School (29 October 1941), quoted in Winston Churchill, ''Never Give In!: Winston Churchill's Speeches'' (2013), p. 255 * We have not journeyed all this way across the centuries, across the oceans, across the mountains, across the prairies, because we are made of sugar candy. ** Speech before Joint Session of the Canadian Parliament, Ottawa ([[December 30]], [[1941]]) ** ''The Yale Book of Quotations'', ed. Fred R. Shapiro, Yale University Press (2006), p. 153 <small>{{ISBN|0300107986}}</small> * When we consider the resources of the United States and the British Empire compared to those of Japan, when we remember those of China, which has so long and valiantly withstood invasion and when also we observe the Russian menace which hangs over [[Japan during World War II|Japan]], it becomes still more difficult to reconcile Japanese action with prudence or even with sanity. '''What kind of a people do they think we are? Is it possible they do not realise that we shall never cease to persevere against them until they have been taught a lesson which they and the world will never forget?''' <br> Members of the Senate and members of the House of Representatives, I turn for one moment more from the turmoil and convulsions of the present to the broader basis of the future. Here we are together facing a group of mighty foes who seek our ruin; here we are together defending all that to free men is dear. Twice in a single generation the catastrophe of world war has fallen upon us; twice in our lifetime has the long arm of fate reached across the ocean to bring the United States into the forefront of the battle. If we had kept together after the last War, if we had taken common measures for our safety, this renewal of the curse need never have fallen upon us. <br> Do we not owe it to ourselves, to our children, to mankind tormented, to make sure that these catastrophes shall not engulf us for the third time? ** [http://www.winstonchurchill.org/learn/speeches/speeches-of-winston-churchill/1941-1945-war-leader/288-us-congress-1941 Speech to a joint session of the United States Congress, Washington, D.C. (26 December 1941)] * ''''It is not given to us to peer into the mysteries of the future. Still, I avow my hope and faith, sure and inviolate, that in the days to come the British and American peoples will for their own safety and for the good of all walk together side by side in majesty, in justice, and in peace.''' ** Ending of the Speech to a joint session of the United States Congress, Washington, D.C. (26 December 1941); reported in ''Winston S. Churchill: His Complete Speeches, 1897–1963'', ed. Robert Rhodes James (1974), vol. 6, p. 6541. The ''Congressional Record'' reports that this speech was followed by "Prolonged applause, the Members of the Senate and their guests rising"; ''Congressional Record'', vol. 87, p. 10119 * When I warned them that Britain would fight on alone whatever they did, their generals told their Prime Minister and his divided Cabinet, "In three weeks England will have her neck wrung like a chicken." '''Some chicken! Some neck!''' ** [http://listenonrepeat.com/watch/?v=TJrQuKlktv8#Winston_Churchill__Some_Chicken%2C_Some_Neck_ Reference to the French government; speech before Joint Session of the Canadian Parliament, Ottawa] ([[December 30]], [[1941]]) ** ''The Yale Book of Quotations'', ed. Fred R. Shapiro, Yale University Press (2006), p. 153 <small>{{ISBN|0300107986}}</small> * Let me have the best solution worked out. Don't argue the matter. The difficulties will argue for themselves. ** Memo (May 30, 1942) to the Chief of Combined Operations on the design of floating piers (which later became Mulberry Harbours) for use on landing beaches; in ''The Second World War, Volume V : Closing the Ring'' (1952) Chapter 4 (Westward Ho! Synthetic Harbours) *If [[Mahatma Gandhi|Gandhi]] tries to start a really hostile movement against us in this crisis, I am of the opinion that he should be arrested, and that both British and United States opinion would support such a step. If he likes to starve himself to death, we cannot help that. **Minute (14 June 1942) to the Secretary of State for India before Gandhi launched the [[w:Quit India Movement|Quit India Movement]], quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Road to Victory: Winston S. Churchill, 1941-1945'' (1986), p. 123 *It was an experience of great interest to me to meet [[Joseph Stalin|Premier Stalin]] ... It is very fortunate for Russia in her agony to have this great rugged war chief at her head. He is a man of massive outstanding personality, suited to the sombre and stormy times in which his life has been cast; a man of inexhaustible courage and will-power and a man direct and even blunt in speech, which, having been brought up in the House of Commons, I do not mind at all, especially when I have something to say of my own. Above all, he is a man with that saving sense of humour which is of high importance to all men and all nations, but particularly to great men and great nations. Stalin also left upon me the impression of a deep, cool wisdom and a complete absence of illusions of any kind. I believe I made him feel that we were good and faithful comrades in this war – but that, after all, is a matter which deeds not words will prove. ** Speech in the House of Commons, September 8, 1942 [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1942/sep/08/war-situation#column_95 "War Situation"]. * '''I hate Indians. They are a beastly people with a beastly religion'''. ** In conversation to [[wikipedia:Leo Amery|Leo Amery]], Secretary of State for India. This quotation is widely cited as written in "a letter to Leo Amery" (e.g., in [http://www.sscnet.ucla.edu/southasia/History/British/jolly_good.html "Jolly Good Fellows and Their Nasty Ways"] by Vinay Lal in ''Times of India'' (15 January 2007)) but it is actually attributed to Churchill as a remark, in an entry for September 1942 in ''Leo Amery : Diaries'' (1988), edited John Barnes and David Nicholson, p. 832 : "During my talk with Winston he burst out with: 'I hate Indians. They are a beastly people with a beastly religion'." * '''Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.''' ** speech at Lord Mayor's Luncheon, Mansion House, London, [[November 10]], [[1942]] : ([http://www.churchill-society-london.org.uk/EndoBegn.html partial text]) ** Referring to the British victory over the German [[wikipedia:Afrika Korps|Afrika Korps]] at the [[wikipedia:Second Battle of Alamein|Second Battle of El Alamein]] in Egypt. * The problems of victory are more agreeable than those of defeat, but they are no less difficult. ** Speech in the [[wikipedia:House of Commons|House of Commons]], November 11, 1942 [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1942/nov/11/debate-on-the-address#column_39 ''Debate on the address'']. * I have not become the King's First Minister in order to preside over the liquidation of the British Empire. ** speech at Lord Mayor's Luncheon, Mansion House, London, [[November 10]], [[1942]] ** ''The Yale Book of Quotations'', ed. Fred R. Shapiro, Yale University Press (2006), p. 153 <small>{{ISBN|0300107986}}</small> * You might however consider whether you should not unfold as a background the great privilege of ''[[wikipedia:Habeas corpus|habeas corpus]]'' and trial by jury, which are the supreme protection invented by the English people for ordinary individuals against the state. '''The power of the Executive to cast a man in prison without formulating any charge known to the law, and particularly to deny him the judgment of his peers is in the highest degree odious and is the foundation of all [[Totalitarianism|totalitarian]] government, whether Nazi or Communist.''' ** In a telegram (November 21, 1942) by Churchill from Cairo, Egypt to Home Secretary [[wikipedia:Herbert Morrison|Herbert Morrison]]; cited in ''In the Highest Degree Odious'' (1992), Simpson, Clarendon Press, p. 391 <small>{{ISBN|0198257759}}</small> * The maxim '''Nothing avails but perfection''' may be spelt shorter: ''''Paralysis.'''' ** Minute [brief note] to General Ismay, [[December 6]], [[1942]], on proposed improvements to landing-craft. ** In ''The Second World War, Volume IV : The Hinge of Fate'' (1951), Appendix C. * I am sure it would be sensible to restrict as much as possible the work of these gentlemen, who are capable of doing an immense amount of harm with what may very easily degenerate into charlatanry. The tightest hand should be kept over them, and they should not be allowed to quarter themselves in large numbers among Fighting Services at the public expense. ** On psychiatrists, in a letter to [[wikipedia:John Anderson, 1st Viscount Waverley|John Anderson]], Lord President of the Council (December 19, 1942) ** In ''The Second World War, Volume IV : The Hinge of Fate'' (1951), Appendix C. *I personally am very keen that a scheme for the amalgamation and extension of our present incomparable insurance system should have a leading place in our Four Years' Plan. I have been prominently connected with all these schemes of national compulsory organized thrift from the time when I brought Sir [[William Beveridge]] into the public service 35 years ago when I was creating the labour exchanges... I framed the first unemployment insurance scheme... [I]t fell to me, as Chancellor of the Exchequer 18 years ago, to lower the pensions age to 65 and to bring in the widows and orphans. The time is now ripe for another great advance. **Broadcast (21 March 1943), quoted in ''The Times'' (22 March 1943), p. 6 *The best way to insure against [[unemployment]] is to have no unemployment. ... Idlers at the top make idlers at the bottom. **Broadcast (21 March 1943), quoted in ''The Times'' (22 March 1943), p. 6 *It is absolutely certain we shall have to grow a larger proportion of our food at home. ... I hope to see a vigorous revival of healthy village life on the basis of these higher wages and of improved housing. **Broadcast (21 March 1943), quoted in ''The Times'' (22 March 1943), p. 6 *We must establish on broad and solid foundations a [[National Health Service]]. Here let me say that there is no finer investment for any community than putting milk into babies. Healthy citizens are the greatest asset any country can have. **Broadcast (21 March 1943), quoted in ''The Times'' (22 March 1943), p. 6 * By its sudden collapse, ... the proud German army has once again proved the truth of the saying, 'The Hun is always either at your throat or at your feet'. ** Speech before a Joint Session of Congress (May 19, 1943), Washington, D.C., in ''Never Give In! : The best of Winston Churchill's Speeches'' (2003), Hyperion, p. 352 <small>{{ISBN|1401300561}}</small> * '''The price of greatness is responsibility.''' * '''The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.''' ** Speech at [[wikipedia:Harvard University|Harvard University]], September 6, 1943 ([https://www.winstonchurchill.org/resources/speeches/1941-1945-war-leader/the-price-of-greatness-is-responsibility full text], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESiuSi8Qp9U audio]). * '''To achieve the extirpation of Nazi tyranny there are no lengths of violence to which we will not go.''' ** Speech to Parliament, September 21, 1943. Quoted in ''Churchill, Hitler, and the Unnecessary War'' (2008) by [[Pat Buchanan|Patrick J Buchanan]], p. 396. * I have nothing to add to the reply which has already been sent. ** Response to Dundee Council after refusing to expand on his reasons for not accepting the [[wikipedia:Freedom of the City|Freedom of the City]] [http://www.nls.uk/digitallibrary/churchill/6.9.html Memo] ([[October 27]], [[1943]]). * I hate nobody except Hitler — and that is professional. ** Churchill to [[wikipedia:Jock Colville|John Colville]] during WWII, quoted by Colville in his book ''The Churchillians'' (1981) <small>{{ISBN|0297779095}}</small> * Everyone is in favour of free speech. Hardly a day passes without its being extolled, but some people's idea of it is that they are free to say what they like, but if anyone says anything back, that is an outrage ** "The Coalmining Situation", Speech to the House of Commons (October 13, 1943)<ref>[https://books.google.com/books?id=hc8pAAAAQBAJ&pg=PT373&lpg=PT373&dq=%22if+anyone+says+anything+back+that+is+an+outrage%22&source=bl&ots=vQG7eKCVNO&sig=FgGJGUVc7MSNY3-hyQrYpC8tiOY&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0CFEQ6AEwDWoVChMI-J-rpoiWyQIVF9tjCh2cLAel#v=onepage&q=%22if%20anyone%20says%20anything%20back%20that%20is%20an%20outrage%22&f=false Google books link]</ref> * '''We shape our buildings, and afterwards our buildings shape us.''' ** Speech to the House of Commons (October 28, 1943), on plans for the rebuilding of the Chamber (destroyed by an enemy bomb May 10, 1941), in ''Never Give In! : The best of Winston Churchill's Speeches'' (2003), Hyperion, p. 358 <small>{{ISBN|1401300561}}</small> *There are two main characteristics of the House of Commons which will command the approval and the support of reflective and experienced Members. They will, I have no doubt, sound odd to foreign ears. The first is that its shape should be oblong and not semi-circular. Here is a very potent factor in our political life. The semi-circular assembly, which appeals to political theorists, enables every individual or every group to move round the centre, adopting various shades of pink according as the weather changes. I am a convinced supporter of the party system in preference to the group system. I have sewn many earnest and ardent Parliaments destroyed by the group system. The party system is much favoured by the oblong form of Chamber. '''It is easy for an individual to move through those insensible gradations from Left to Right but the act of crossing the Floor is one which requires serious consideration. I am well informed on this matter, for I have accomplished that difficult process, not only once but twice.''' **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1943/oct/28/house-of-commons-rebuilding#column_403 Speech] in the House of Commons after a bomb blast (28 October 1943) * The essence of good House of Commons speaking is the conversational style, the facility for quick, informal interruptions and interchanges. Harangues from a rostrum would be a bad substitute for the conversational style in which so much of our business is done. But the conversational style requires a fairly small space, and there should be on great occasions a sense of crowd and urgency. There should be a sense of the importance of much that is said and a sense that great matters are being decided, there and then, by the House. ... It has a collective personality which enjoys the regard of the public, and which imposes itself upon the conduct not only of individual Members but of parties. ** Speech in the House of Commons, October 28, 1943 [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1943/oct/28/house-of-commons-rebuilding#column_403 "House of Commons Rebuilding"]. * The House of Commons has lifted our affairs above the mechanical sphere into the human sphere. It thrives on criticism, it is perfectly impervious to newspaper abuse or taunts from any quarter, and it is capable of digesting almost anything or almost any body of gentlemen, whatever be the views with which they arrive. There is no situation to which it cannot address itself with vigour and ingenuity. It is the citadel of British liberty; it is the foundation of our laws; its traditions and its privileges are as lively today as when it broke the arbitrary power of the Crown and substituted that Constitutional Monarchy under which we have enjoyed so many blessings. ** Speech in the House of Commons, October 28, 1943 [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1943/oct/28/house-of-commons-rebuilding#column_405 "House of Commons Rebuilding"]. * 'In war-time,' I said, 'truth is so precious she should always be attended by a bodyguard of lies.' ** Discussion of Operation Overlord with Stalin at the Teheran Conference (November 30, 1943); in ''The Second World War, Volume V : Closing the Ring (1952)'', Chapter 21 (Teheran: The Crux), p. 338 * When I make a statement of facts within my knowledge I expect it to be accepted. ** To Joseph Stalin in 1944, on the fact that there had been no plot between Britain and Germany to invade the Soviet Union. The Grand Alliance, Winston S. Churchill. * '''The longer you can look back, the farther you can look forward.''' This is not a philosophical or political argument—any oculist will tell you this is true. The wider the span, the longer the continuity, the greater is the sense of duty in individual men and women, each contributing their brief life's work to the preservation and progress of the land in which they live, the society of which they are members, and the world of which they are the servants. ** 2 March 1944, Speech to the Royal College of Physicians, London. Quoted in ''Churchill by Himself'' (2008), ed. Langworth, PublicAffairs, p. 25 <small>{{ISBN|1586486381}}</small> ** Often misquoted, see section "Misattributed" below *The Americans can always be trusted to do the right thing, once all other possibilities have been exhausted. **''Churchill By Himself: The Definitive Collections of Quotations'', ed. Richard Langworth, 2008, p. 124, (circa 1944) *The discoveries of healing science must be the inheritance of all. That is clear. Disease must be attacked whether it occurs in the poorest or the richest man or woman, simply on the ground that it is the enemy; and it must be attacked just in the same way as the Government have adopted the policy outlined in the remarks of [[Benjamin Disraeli|Lord Beaconsfield]], health and the laws of health, and that is the course upon which we have embarked. Our policy is to create a national health service in order to ensure that everybody in the country, irrespective of means, age, sex, or occupation, shall have equal opportunities to benefit from the best and most up-to-date medical and allied services available. **Speech to the Royal College of Physicians at the Savoy Hotel (2 March 1944), quoted in ''The Times'' (3 March 1944), p. 2 * The object of presenting medals, stars, and ribbons is to give pride and pleasure to those who have deserved them. At the same time a distinction is something which everybody does not possess. If all have it it is of less value ... A medal glitters, but it also casts a shadow. ** Speech in the House of Commons, March 22, 1944 [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1944/mar/22/war-decorations-and-medals#column_872 "War Decorations"] [[File:SHAEF Shoulder Patch.svg |thumb| The [[battle]] that has [[now]] [[begun]] will [[grow]] constantly in scale and in intensity for many weeks to come, and I shall not attempt to speculate upon its course. This I may say, however. Complete [[unity]] prevails throughout [[w:Supreme Headquarters Allied Expeditionary Force|the Allied Armies]].]] [[File:Into the Jaws of Death 23-0455M edit.jpg|thumb|Nothing that equipment, science or forethought could do has been neglected, and the whole process of opening this great new front will be pursued with the utmost resolution both by the commanders and by the [[Federal government of the United States|United States]] and [[Government of the United Kingdom|British Governments]] whom they serve.]] *I cannot, of course, commit myself to any particular details. Reports are coming in in rapid succession. So far the Commanders who are engaged report that everything is proceeding according to plan. And what a plan! This vast operation is undoubtedly the most complicated and difficult that has ever taken place. It involves tides, wind, waves, visibility, both from the air and the sea standpoint, and the combined employment of land, air and sea forces in the highest degree of intimacy and in contact with conditions which could not and cannot be fully foreseen. There are already hopes that actual tactical surprise has been attained, and we hope to furnish the enemy with a succession of surprises during the course of the fighting. The battle that has now begun will grow constantly in scale and in intensity for many weeks to come, and I shall not attempt to speculate upon its course. This I may say, however. Complete unity prevails throughout the Allied Armies. There is a brotherhood in arms between us and our friends of the United States. There is complete confidence in the supreme commander, [[Dwight D. Eisenhower|General Eisenhower]], and his lieutenants, and also in the commander of the Expeditionary Force, [[Bernard Montgomery, 1st Viscount Montgomery of Alamein|General Montgomery]]. The ardour and spirit of the troops, as I saw myself, embarking in these last few days was splendid to witness. Nothing that equipment, science or forethought could do has been neglected, and the whole process of opening this great new front will be pursued with the utmost resolution both by the commanders and by the [[Federal government of the United States|United States]] and [[Government of the United Kingdom|British Governments]] whom they serve. ** [https://www.nationalchurchillmuseum.org/the-invasion-of-france.html Speech to the House of Commons on the Invasion of France, (6 June 1944)] *The outstanding feature has been the landings of the airborne troops, which were on a scale far larger than anything that has been seen so far in the world. These landings took place with extremely little loss and with great accuracy. Particular [[anxiety]] attached to them, because the conditions of light prevailing in the very limited period of the dawn-just before the dawn-the conditions of visibility made all the difference. Indeed, there might have been something happening at the last minute which would have prevented airborne troops from playing their part. A very great degree of risk had to be taken in respect of the weather. But General Eisenhower's [[courage]] is equal to all the necessary decisions that have to be taken in these extremely difficult and uncontrollable matters. The airborne troops are well established, and the landings and the follow-ups are all proceeding with much less loss-very much less-than we expected. Fighting is in progress at various points. We captured various bridges which were of importance, and which were not blown up. There is even fighting proceeding in the town of Caen, inland. But all this, although a very valuable first step-a vital and essential first step-gives no indication of what may be the course of the battle in the next days and weeks, because the enemy will now probably endeavour to concentrate on this area, and in that event heavy fighting will soon begin and will continue without end, as we can push troops in and he can bring other troops up. It is, therefore, a most serious time that we enter upon. Thank God, we enter upon it with our great Allies all in good heart and all in good friendship. ** Speech to the House of Commons on the Invasion of France] (6 June 1944) *There is no doubt that this is probably the greatest and most horrible crime ever committed in the whole history of the world, and it has been done by scientific machinery by nominally civilised men in the name of a great State and one of the leading races of Europe. It is quite clear that all concerned in this crime who may fall into our hands, including the people who only obeyed orders by carrying out the butcheries, should be put to death after their association with the murders has been proved. **[https://www.loc.gov/exhibits/churchill/interactive/_html/wc0213_3.html Letter] to Anthony Eden on the [[Holocaust]] (11 July 1944) * I have left the obvious, essential fact till this point, namely, that '''it is the Russian Armies who have done the main work in tearing the guts out of the German army.''' In the air and on the oceans we could maintain our place, but there was no force in the world which could have been called into being, except after several more years, that would have been able to maul and break the German army unless it had been subjected to the terrible slaughter and manhandling that has fallen to it through the strength of the Russian [[Soviet Union|Soviet]] Armies. ** Speech in the House of Commons, August 2, 1944.<ref name=churchillLiberation>{{cite book|last=Churchill|first=Winston|title=The Dawn of Liberation, 1945|publisher=Rosetta Books|date=2013|isbn=9780795329494}}</ref> * '''I salute Marshal [[Stalin]], the great champion''', and I firmly believe that our 20 years' treaty with Russia will prove to be one of the most lasting and durable factors in preserving the peace and the good order and the progress of Europe. ** Speech in the House of Commons, August 2, 1944.<ref name=churchillLiberation></ref> * I don't like standing near the edge of a platform when an express train is passing through. I like to stand right back and if possible to get a pillar between me and the train. I don't like to stand by the side of a ship and look down into the water. A second's action would end everything. A few drops of desperation. **Conversation with Lord Moran, August 14, 1944. **Lord Moran, ''Winston Churchill: The Struggle for Survival, 1940-1965'' (London: Constable & Company, 1966), p. 167. *'''The Russians will sweep through your country and your people will be liquidated. You are on the verge of annihilation.''' ** To [[wikipedia:Stanisław Mikołajczyk|Stanisław Mikołajczyk]] in Moscow, October 14, 1944. Quoted in ''Churchill, Hitler, and the Unnecessary War'' (2008) by [[Pat Buchanan|Patrick J Buchanan]], p. 380. * A love of tradition has never weakened a nation, indeed it has strengthened nations in their hour of peril; but the new view must come, the world must roll forward ... Let us have no fear of the future. ** Speech in the House of Commons, November 29, 1944 [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1944/nov/29/debate-on-the-address#column_31 "Debate on the Address"]. * I hope very much that the archway into the Chamber from the Inner Lobby—where the Bar used to be—which was smitten by the blast of the explosion, and has acquired an appearance of antiquity that might not have been achieved by the hand of time in centuries, will be preserved intact, as a monument of the ordeal which Westminster has passed through in the Great War, and as a reminder to those who will come centuries after us that they may look back from time to time upon their forbears who "kept the bridge In the brave days of old." **Rebuilding the House of Commons, [https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1945/jan/25/house-of-commons-rebuilding Speech to the House of Commons], 25 January 1945 *'''It seems to me that the moment has come when the question of bombing of German cities simply for the sake of increasing the terror, though under other pretexts, should be reviewed.''' ** After the devastation of [[wikipedia:Bombing of Dresden|Dresden]] by aerial bombing, and the resulting [[wikipedia:Fire storm|fire storm]] (February 1945). Quoted in ''Where the Right Went Wrong'' (2004) by [[Pat Buchanan|Patrick J Buchanan]], p. 119 <small>{{ISBN|0312341156}}</small> * It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link in the chain of destiny can be handled at a time. ** Speech in the House of Commons, February 27, 1945 [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1945/feb/27/crimea-conference#column_1294 "Crimea Conference"]; in ''The Second World War, Volume VI: Triumph and Tragedy'' (1954), Chapter XXIII – Yalta: Finale. *'''There is only one thing worse than fighting with allies, and that is fighting without them.''' **Noted as a habitual remark of Churchill in Field Marshal Lord Alanbrooke’s diary entry for 1 April 1945 (“''As Churchill says...''”), quoted in Arthur Bryant, ''Triumph in the West'' (1959), p. 339 *Personally, having lived through all these European disturbances and studied carefully their causes, I am of the opinion that if the Allies at the peace table at [[Treaty of Versailles|Versailles]] had not imagined that the sweeping away of long-established dynasties was a form of progress, and if they had allowed a [[w:House of Hohenzollern|Hohenzollern]], a [[w:House of Wittelsbach|Wittelsbach]], and a [[w:House of Habsburg|Habsburg]] to return to their thrones, there would have been no Hitler. To Germany, a symbolic point on which the loyalties of the military classes could centre would have been found, and a democratic basis of society might have been preserved by a crowned [[Weimar Republic|Weimar]] in contact with the victorious Allies. **Telegram to [[w:Hughe Knatchbull-Hugessen|Hughe Knatchbull-Hugessen]], British Ambassador to Turkey (26 April 1945), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Road to Victory: Winston S. Churchill, 1941-1945'' (1986), p. 1314 *We may allow ourselves a brief period of rejoicing; but let us not forget for a moment the toil and efforts that lie ahead. Japan, with all her treachery and greed, remains unsubdued. The injury she has inflicted on Great Britain, the United States, and other countries, and her detestable cruelties, call for justice and retribution. We must now devote all our strength and resources to the completion of our task, both at home and abroad. Advance, Britannia! Long live the cause of freedom! God save the King. **Broadcast (8 May 1945) from the Cabinet Room at 10 Downing Street, quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Road to Victory: Winston S. Churchill, 1941-1945'' (1986), p. 1344 *We all of us made our mistakes, but the strength of the Parliamentary institution has been shown to enable it at the same moment to preserve all the title-deeds of democracy while waging war in the most stern and protracted form. I wish to give my hearty thanks to men of all Parties, to everyone in every part of the House wherever they sit, for the way in which the liveliness of Parliamentary institutions has been maintained under the fire of the enemy, and for the way in which we have been able to persevere—and we could have persevered much longer if need had been—till all the objectives which we set before us for the procuring of the unlimited and unconditional surrender of the enemy had been achieved. **Speech in the House of Commons (8 May 1945), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Road to Victory: Winston S. Churchill, 1941-1945'' (1986), p. 1346 [[File:Winston Churchill waves to crowds in Whitehall in London as they celebrate VE Day, 8 May 1945. H41849.jpg|thumb|[[God]] [[bless]] you [[all]]. This is your [[victory]]! It is the victory of the cause of [[freedom]] in every land. In our long [[history]], [[w:Victory in Europe Day|we have never seen a greater day than this.]] Everyone, [[man]] or [[woman]], has done their best.]] *God bless you all. This is your victory! [crowd: "No—it is yours."] It is the victory of the cause of freedom in every land. In all our long history we have never seen a greater day than this. Everyone, man or woman, has done their best. Everyone has tried. Neither the long years, nor the dangers, nor the fierce attack of the enemy, have in any way weakened the independent resolve of the British nation. God bless you all. **Speech to the crowd from the balcony of the Ministry of Health in Whitehall, London (8 May 1945), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Road to Victory: Winston S. Churchill, 1941-1945'' (1986), p. 1347 *Socialism is, in its essence, an attack not only upon British enterprise, but upon the right of the ordinary man or woman to breathe freely without having a harsh, clumsy, tyrannical hand clapped across their mouths and nostrils. A Free Parliament—look at that—a Free Parliament is odious to the Socialist doctrinaire. **Broadcast for the [[w:United Kingdom general election, 1945|1945 general election]] (4 June 1945), quoted in Martin Gilbert, '''Never Despair': Winston S. Churchill, 1945–1965'' (1988), p. 33 *No Socialist Government conducting the entire life and industry of the country could afford to allow free, sharp, or violently-worded expressions of public discontent. They would have to fall back on some form of Gestapo, no doubt very humanely directed in the first instance. And this would nip opinion in the bud; it would stop criticism as it reared its head, and it would gather all the power to the supreme party and the party leaders, rising like stately pinnacles above their vast bureaucracies of Civil Servants, no longer servants and no longer civil. And where would the ordinary simple folk—the common people, as they like to call them in America—where would they be, once this mighty organism had got them in its grip? **Broadcast for the 1945 general election (4 June 1945), quoted in Martin Gilbert, '''Never Despair': Winston S. Churchill, 1945–1965'' (1988), p. 32 *My friends, I must tell you that a Socialist policy is abhorrent to the British ideas of freedom. Although it is now put forward in the main by people who have a good grounding in the Liberalism and Radicalism of the early part of the century, there can be no doubt that Socialism is inseparably interwoven with Totalitarianism and the abject worship of the State. It is not alone that property, in all its forms, is struck at, but that liberty, in all its form, is challenged by the fundamental conceptions of Socialism. **Broadcast for the 1945 general election (4 June 1945), quoted in Martin Gilbert, '''Never Despair': Winston S. Churchill, 1945–1965'' (1988), pp. 33-34 *How is an ordinary citizen or subject of the King to stand up against this formidable machine, which, once it is in power, will prescribe for every one of them where they are to work; what they are to work at; where they may go and what they may say; what views they are to hold and within what limits they may express them; where their wives are to go to queue up for the State ration; and what education their children are to receive to mould their views of human liberty and conduct in the future? **Broadcast for the 1945 general election (4 June 1945), quoted in Martin Gilbert, '''Never Despair': Winston S. Churchill, 1945–1965'' (1988), p. 34 *I spoke of the melancholy financial position of Great Britain. Half our foreign investments had been spent in the common cause when we stood alone. There is a great external debt of three thousand million pounds. We should require time to get on our feet again. The President listened closely, attentively and sympathetically. He spoke of the immense debt the Allies owed to Britain for that period when she fought alone. "If you had gone like France," he added, "we might well be fighting the Germans on the American coast at the present time." **Churchill's account of his conversation with [[Harry S. Truman|President Truman]] (18 July 1945), quoted in Lord Moran, ''Winston Churchill: The Struggle for Survival, 1940-1965'' (1968), p. 298 * I am going to tell you something you must not tell to any human being. We have split the atom. The report of the great experiment has just come in. A bomb was let off in some wild spot in New Mexico. It was only a thirteen-pound bomb, but it made a crater half a mile across. People ten miles away lay with their feet towards the bomb; when it went off they rolled over and tried to look at the sky. But even with the darkest glasses it was impossible. It was the middle of the night, but it was as if seven suns had lit the earth; two hundred miles away the light could be seen. The bomb sent up smoke into the stratosphere...It is the Second Coming. The secret has been wrested from nature...Fire was the first discovery; this is the second. ** Conversation with his doctor, Lord Moran (23 July 1945), quoted in Lord Moran, ''Winston Churchill: The Struggle for Survival, 1940-1965'' (1968), p. 305 === Post-war years (1945–1955) === [[File:Socialists in Union Square, N.Y.C. (cropped).jpg|thumb|244x244px|The inherent vice of [[capitalism]] is the unequal sharing of blessings. The inherent virtue of [[Socialism]] is the equal sharing of miseries.]] [[File:Winston Churchill at Coventry Cathedral cph.3a18421.jpg|thumb|244x244px|We must all turn our backs upon the horrors of the past. We must look to the future. We cannot afford to drag forward across the years that are to come the hatreds and revenges which have sprung from the injuries of the past.]] [[File:WinstonChurchillNewOrleans.jpg|thumb|244x244px|The salvation of the common people of every race and of every land from war or servitude must be guarded by the readiness of all men and women to die rather than submit to tyranny.]] [[File:Diagram of the Federal Government and American Union edit.jpg|thumb|Democracy is not a caucus, obtaining a fixed term of office by promises, and then doing what it likes with the people. We hold that there ought to be a constant relationship between the rulers and the people. "[[Abraham Lincoln#The_Gettysburg_Address_(1863)|Government of the people, by the people, for the people]]," still remains the sovereign definition of democracy.]] [[File:Goddess of Democracy profile HK 20100604.jpg|thumb|Many forms of Government have been tried and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.]] [[File:Winston_Churchill_verl_sst_das_Geb_ude_der_Admiralt_t_(1912).jpg|thumb|490x490px|In War: Resolution. In Defeat: Defiance. In Victory: Magnanimity. In Peace: Good Will.]] [[File:Churchill De Gaulle HU 60057.jpg|thumb|244x244px|When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite.]] [[File:Winston Churchill flanked by the Chief of the Imperial General Staff, Field Marshal Sir Alan Brooke and General Sir Bernard Montgomery, commanding 21st Army Group, at Monty's mobile headquarters in Normandy, 12 June 1944 (TR1838).jpg|thumb|244x244px|How many wars have been averted by patience and persisting good will! ... How many wars have been precipitated by firebrands! How many misunderstandings which led to wars could have been removed by temporizing!]] [[File:Printing4 Walk of Ideas Berlin.JPG|thumb| Personally, I am always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught. ]] [[File:Churchill V sign HU 55521.jpg|thumb| I am an optimist — it does not seem to be much use being anything else. ]] * Peace with Germany and Japan on our terms will not bring much rest to you and me (if I am still responsible). As I observed last time, '''when the war of the giants is over, the war of the pygmies will begin.''' ** Telegram to FDR, March 18, 1945 [http://www.churchillarchiveforschools.com/themes/the-themes/anglo-american-relations/just-how-special-was-the-special-relationship-in-the-Second-World-War-Part-2-1942-44/the-sources/source-7] * '''The inherent vice of [[capitalism]] is the unequal sharing of blessings. The inherent virtue of [[Socialism]] is the equal sharing of miseries.''' ** Speech in the House of Commons (October 22, 1945) [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1945/oct/22/demobilisation#column_1703 "Demobilisation"] * '''The most dangerous moment of the War, and the one which caused me the greatest alarm''', was when the Japanese Fleet was heading for [[Ceylon]] and the naval base there. The capture of Ceylon, the consequent control of the Indian Ocean, and the possibility at the same time of a German conquest of Egypt would have closed the ring and the future would have been black. **Remarks on the April 5, 1942) Easter Sunday Raid on Colombo, Ceylon (Sri Lanka) on 5 April 1942. From a conversation at the British Embassy, Washington D.C. in 1946, as described by [[wikipedia:Leonard Birchall|Leonard Birchall]], RCAF, in ''Battle for the Skies'' (2004), Michael Paterson, David & Charles, <small>{{ISBN|0715318152}}</small> * The [[Dark Ages]] may return, the [[w:Stone_Age|Stone Age]] may return on the gleaming wings of [[Science]], and '''what might now shower immeasurable material blessings upon mankind, may even bring about its total destruction.''' Beware, I say; [[time]] may be short. ** ''[https://www.nato.int/docu/speech/1946/s460305a_e.htm The Sinews of Peace]'' speech, Westminster College, Fulton, Missouri, March 5, 1946. * [<nowiki/>[[w:Christopher_Soames|Christopher Soames]], Churchill's future son-in-law, remembered] Churchill showing him around Chartwell Farm [around 1946]. When they came to the piggery Churchill scratched one of the pigs and said: '''I am fond of [[pigs]]. [[Dogs]] look up to us. [[Cats]] look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.''' ** Christopher Soames, speech at the Reform Club (28 April 1981), reported in Martin S. Gilbert, ''Winston S. Churchill. Volume Eight: Never Despair: 1945–1965''. p. 304 * '''Meeting Roosevelt was like uncorking your first bottle of champagne.''' ** Winston Churchill's visit to FDR's grave site at [[wikipedia:Hyde Park, New York|Hyde Park, NY]], reflecting on his past and the relationship he had with FDR, as quoted in PBS series, [[wikipedia:American Experience|American Experience]] [The Presidents: FDR] *I think 'No Comment' is a splendid expression. I am using it again and again. ** After using the phrase when interviewed by reporters in Miami on 12 February, 1946; quoted in ''Churchill's "Iron Curtain" Speech Fifty Years Later'' by James W. Muller, University of Missouri Press (1999), p. 20 <small>{{ISBN|0826261221}}</small> * The very first thing [[Harry S. Truman|the President]] did was to show me the new [[wikipedia:Seal of the President of the United States|Presidential Seal]], which he had just redesigned. He explained, 'The seal has to go everywhere the [[President of the United States|President]] goes. It must be displayed upon the lectern when he speaks. The eagle used to face the arrows but I have re-designed it so that it now faces the olive branches ... what do you think?' I said, 'Mr. President, with the greatest respect, I would prefer the American eagle's neck to be on a swivel so that it could face the olive branches or the arrows, as the occasion might demand.' ** An exchange (March 4, 1946) with [[Harry S. Truman]] aboard the Presidential train in [[wikipedia:Washington, DC|Washington, D.C.]]'s Union Station before journeying to [[wikipedia:Fulton, Missouri|Fulton, Missouri]]; as quoted in [http://www.winstonchurchill.org/i4a/pages/index.cfm?pageid=825 "The Genius and Wit of Winston Churchill"] by Robin Lawson. * When I was a young subaltern in the [[Second Boer War|South African War]], the water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable we had to put a bit of [[whiskey]] in it. By diligent effort I learned to like it. ** Aboard the Presidential train during the journey to Fulton, Missouri (March 4, 1946); quoted in ''Conflict and Crisis'' by Robert Donovan, University of Missouri Press (1996), p. 190 <small>{{ISBN|082621066X}}</small> * A shadow has fallen upon the scenes so lately lighted by the Allied victory.... '''From [[wikipedia:Stettin|Stettin]] in the Baltic to [[wikipedia:Trieste|Trieste]] in the Adriatic an [[wikipedia:Iron curtain|iron curtain]] has descended across the Continent.''' ** On Soviet communism and the Cold War, in a speech at Fulton, Missouri on March 5, 1946 ([http://www.churchill-society-london.org.uk/Fulton.html complete text]). Churchill did not coin the phrase "iron curtain", however; the 1920 book ''Through Bolshevik Russia'' by English suffragette Ethel Snowden contained the line "We were behind the 'iron curtain' at last!" (This fact is mentioned in the article [http://www.yalealumnimagazine.com/issues/2011_01/anon4651.html 'Anonymous was a Woman'], Yale Alumni Magazine Jan/Feb 2011). * '''We must build a kind of [[w:United_States_of_Europe|United States of Europe]].''' ** Speech at [[wikipedia:Zurich University|Zurich University]] (September 19, 1946) ([http://www.churchill-society-london.org.uk/astonish.html partial text]) ([http://www.peshawar.ch/varia/winston.htm]). * '''We must all turn our backs upon the horrors of the past. We must look to the future. We cannot afford to drag forward cross the years that are to come the hatreds and revenges which have sprung from the injuries of the past.''' ** Speech at [[wikipedia:Zurich University|Zurich University]] (September 19, 1946) ([http://www.churchill-society-london.org.uk/astonish.html partial text]) ([http://www.peshawar.ch/varia/winston.htm]). * Is there any need for further floods of agony? Is the only lesson of history to be that mankind is unteachable? Let there be justice, mercy and freedom. The people have only to will it, and all will achieve their hearts' desire. ** Speech at [[wikipedia:Zurich University|Zurich University]] (September 19, 1946) ([http://www.churchill-society-london.org.uk/astonish.html partial text]) ([http://www.peshawar.ch/varia/winston.htm]). * '''The salvation of the common people of every race and of every land from war or servitude''' must be established on solid foundations and '''must be guarded by the readiness of all men and women to die rather than submit to tyranny.''' ** Speech at [[wikipedia:Zurich University|Zurich University]] (September 19, 1946) ([http://www.churchill-society-london.org.uk/astonish.html partial text]) ([http://www.peshawar.ch/varia/winston.htm]). * There is less there than meets the eye. ** On Prime Minister [[wikipedia:Clement Attlee|Clement Attlee]], to President [[wikipedia:Harry S. Truman|Truman]], in 1946. When Truman defended Attlee ('He seems a modest sort of fellow'), Churchill replied 'He's got a lot to be modest about.' As cited in ''The Origins of the Cold War in Europe'' (1994), Reynolds, Yale University Press, p. 93 <small>{{ISBN|0300105622}}</small> * I gather, young man, that you wish to be a Member of Parliament. '''The first lesson that you must learn is that, when I call for [[statistics]] about the rate of [[w:Infant_mortality|infant mortality]], what I want is proof that fewer babies died when I was Prime Minister than when anyone else was Prime Minister. That is a political statistic.''' ** When Churchill was in opposition after 1945, he led the Conservative Party in a debate about the Health Service. As he listened to [[Aneurin Bevan]]'s opening speech, he called for some statistics about infant mortality ... [which were] supplied, copiously and accurately, by [[wikipedia:Iain Macleod|Iain Macleod]], then working in the back rooms of the [[wikipedia:Conservative Research Department|Conservative Research Department]]. But, in his speech, Churchill made only one bold and sweeping use ... [of Macleod's detailed research]. Encountering MacLeod afterward, Churchill made the above statement. As cited in ''The Life of Politics'' (1968), Henry Fairlie, Methuen, pp. 203-204. *It is with deep grief I watch the clattering down of the British Empire, with all its glories and all the services it has rendered to mankind. ... Many have defended Britain against her foes. None can defend her against herself. **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1947/mar/06/india-government-policy#column_678 Speech] in the House of Commons (6 March 1947) on Indian independence * You may try to destroy wealth, and find that all you have done is to increase poverty. **''Churchill By Himself: The Definitive Collections of Quotations'', ed. Richard Langworth, 2008, p. 29 (1947, 12 March) * When I am abroad I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the Government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. ** In the House of Commons (18 April 1947), cited in ''The Oxford Dictionary of Political Quotations'' (1996), Jay, Oxford University Press, p. 93. * '''When I was younger I made it a rule never to take strong drink before lunch. It is now my rule never to do so before [[breakfast]].''' ** Reply to [[wikipedia:George VI of the United Kingdom|King George VI]], on a cold morning at the airport. The King had asked if Churchill would take something to warm himself. As cited in ''Man of the Century'' (2002), Ramsden, Columbia University Press, p. 134 <small>{{ISBN|0231131062}}</small> * All the greatest things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: [[Freedom]]; [[Justice]]; [[Honor|Honour]]; [[Duty]]; [[Mercy]]; [[Hope]]. ** United Europe Meeting, Albert Hall, London (May 14, 1947). Cited in ''Churchill by Himself'', ed. Langworth, PublicAffairs (2008), p. 26 <small>{{ISBN|1586486381}}</small> * <span id="democracy"></span>'''Democracy is not a caucus, obtaining a fixed term of office by promises, and then doing what it likes with the people. We hold that there ought to be a constant relationship between the rulers and the people. "[[Abraham Lincoln#The_Gettysburg_Address_(1863)|Government of the people, by the people, for the people]]," still remains the sovereign definition of democracy.''' ** Speech in the House of Commons (11 November 1947), published in [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1947/nov/11/parliament-bill#column_205 205 ''The Official Report, House of Commons'' (5th Series), 11 November 1947, vol. 444, cc.] * <span id="democracy-except"></span>'''Many forms of Government have been tried and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time;''' but there is the broad feeling in our country that the people should rule, continuously rule, and that public opinion, expressed by all constitutional means, should shape, guide, and control the actions of Ministers who are their servants and not their masters. ** Speech in the House of Commons (11 November 1947), published in [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1947/nov/11/parliament-bill#column_206 206–07 ''The Official Report, House of Commons'' (5th Series), 11 November 1947, vol. 444, cc.] * I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. ** On his 75th birthday (1947), in reply to a question on whether he was afraid of death, quoted in the ''N. Y. Times Magazine'' on November 1, 1964, p. 40 according to ''Quote It Completely!'' (1998), Gerhart, Wm. S. Hein Publishing, p. 262 <small>{{ISBN|1575884003}}</small> *One foggy afternoon in November 1947 I was painting in my studio... when I suddenly felt an odd sensation. I turned round... and there, sitting in my red leather upright armchair, was my father. He looked just as I had seen him in his prime... <br>[towards the end of their conversation] "Papa," I said, "in each of them about thirty million men were killed in battle. In the last one seven million were murdered in cold blood, mainly by the Germans. They made human slaughter-pens like the [[w:Chicago stockyards|Chicago stockyards]]. [[Europe]] is a ruin. Many of her cities have been blown to pieces by bombs... Far gone are the days of [[Victoria of the United Kingdom|Queen Victoria]] and [[Victorian era|a settled world order]]. But, having gone through so much, we do not despair."... He said:<BR>"Winston, you have told me a terrible tale. I would never have believed that such things could happen. I am glad I did not live to see them. As I listened to you unfolding these fearful facts you seemed to know a great deal about them. I never expected that you would develop so far and so fully. Of course you are too old now to think about such things, but when I hear you talk I really wonder you didn't go into politics. You might have done a lot to help..."<BR>He gave me a benignant smile. He then took the match to light his cigarette and struck it. There was a tiny flash. He vanished. The chair was empty... **[https://winstonchurchill.hillsdale.edu/winston-churchills-dream-1947/ ''The Dream": A Fictional Encounter'' – by Winston S. Churchill, reprinted from the official biography, Winston S. Churchill, by Martin Gilbert, vol. 8 Never Despair 1945-1965 (Hillsdale College Press, 2013), pages 365-72.] *When losses are made, under the present system those losses are borne by the individuals who sustained them and took the risk and judged things wrongly, whereas under State management all losses are quartered upon the taxpayers and the community as a whole. The elimination of the profit motive and of self-interest as a practical guide in the myriad transactions of daily life will restrict, paralyse and destroy British ingenuity, thrift, contrivance and good housekeeping at every stage in our life and production, and will reduce all our industries from a profit-making to a loss-making process. ** ''Churchill By Himself: The Definitive Collections of Quotations'', ed. Richard Langworth, 2008, p. 394, Belle Vue, Manchester (Europe, p. 212) (1947, 6 December) * For my part, I consider that it will be found much better by all Parties to leave the past to history, especially as I propose to write that history myself. ** Speech in the House of Commons (January 23, 1948), cited in ''The Yale Book of Quotations'' (2006), Fred R. Shapiro, Yale University Press, p. 154 <small>{{ISBN|0300107986}}</small> ** This quote may be the basis for a statement often attributed to Churchill : ''History will be kind to me. For I intend to write it.'' * I am shocked by this wicked crime. ** [https://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=2194&dat=19480127&id=n_4uAAAAIBAJ&sjid=GNwFAAAAIBAJ&pg=1578,6285092&hl=en Reaction to the assassination of Gandhi. Ottawa Citizen, Jan. 27, 1948.] *We may indeed ask ourselves how it is that capitalism and [[Laissez-faire|free enterprise]] enable the United States not only to support its vast and varied life and needs, but also to supply these enormous sums to lighten the burden of others in distress. **''Churchill By Himself: The Definitive Collections of Quotations'', ed. Richard Langworth, 2008, p. 124 (1948, 21 April) *The Socialists dilate upon the [[w:National Insurance Act 1946|National Insurance Scheme]], [[w:Family_Allowances|Family Allowances]], improved education, welfare foods, food subsidies, and so forth. They point to the benefits flowing to the people from these schemes and particularly to the housewives and children... All these schemes were devised and set in motion in days before the Socialists came to office. They all date from the National Coalition Government of which I was the head. I have worked at national insurance schemes almost all my life and am responsible for several of the largest measures ever passed. The main principles of the new [[National Health Service|Health Schemes]] were hammered out in the days of the Coalition Government, before the party and personal malignancy of [[Aneurin Bevan|Mr Bevan]] plunged health policy into its present confusion. **Speech to Conservative women (21 April 1948), quoted in Paul Addison, ''Churchill On The Home Front, 1900–1955'' (1992), p. 399 *The [[w:Family Allowances Act 1945|Family Allowance Act]] was passed by the Conservative Caretaker Government. School milk was started in 1934 by a Conservative Parliament. The idea of welfare foods was largely developed by [[w:Frederick Marquis, 1st Earl of Woolton|Lord Woolton]]. The [[w:Education Act 1944|Education Act]] was the work of [[Rab Butler|Mr Butler]]... These facts should be repeated on every occasion by those who wish the truths to be known. **Speech to Conservative women (21 April 1948), quoted in Paul Addison, ''Churchill On The Home Front, 1900–1955'' (1992), pp. 399-400 * '''Socialism is the philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy.''' ** Speech (May 28, 1948) at the Scottish Unionist Conference, Perth, Scotland, in ''Never Give In! : The best of Winston Churchill's Speeches'' (2003), Hyperion, p. 446 <small>{{ISBN|1401300561}}</small> * When I see the present Socialist Government denouncing capitalism in all its forms, mocking with derision and contempt the tremendous free enterprise capitalist system on which the mighty production of the United States is founded, I cannot help feeling that as a nation we are not acting honourably or even honestly. **''Churchill By Himself: The Definitive Collections of Quotations'', ed. Richard Langworth, 2008, p. 124, (1948, 10 July) Woodford, Essex, Europe, 374) * I think the day will come when it will be recognized without doubt, not only on one side of the House, but throughout the civilized world, that the strangling of Bolshevism at its birth would have been an untold blessing to the human race. ** In the House of Commons, (26 January 1949)<ref>Winston S. Churchill, Churchill in His Own Words, ed. Richard M. Langworth (London: Ebury, 2012), 148; and James, His Complete Speeches vol. 8, 7774.</ref> * If you make 10,000 regulations you destroy all respect for the law. ** In the House of Commons (3 February 1949), as quoted in ''Churchill by Himself'' (2008), ed. Langworth, PublicAffairs, p. 17 <small>{{ISBN|1586486381}}</small> *The choice is between two ways of life: between individual liberty and State domination; between concentrations of [[ownership]] in the hands of the State and the extension of ownership over the widest number of individuals; between the dead hand of [[monopoly]] and the stimulus of competition; between a policy of increasing restraint and a policy of liberating energy and ingenuity; between a policy of leveling down and a policy of opportunity for all to rise upwards from a basic standard. **''Winston S. Churchill: His Complete Speeches 1897-1963'', Vol. VII, New York: Chelsea House/Bowker, (1974), Wolverhampton, (23 July 1949) p. 7835 {{anchor|Short words}} * '''Broadly speaking, short words are best, and the old words, when short, are best of all.''' ** Speech on receiving the London ''Times'' Literary Award [[November 2]], [[1949]] ** ''Never Give In! The Best of Winston Churchill's Speeches'', Hyperion (2003), p. 453 <small>ISBN {{ISBN|1401300561}}</small> * The reason for having diplomatic relations is not to confer a compliment, but to secure a convenience. ** In the House of Commons (17 November 1949) [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1949/nov/17/foreign-affairs#column_2225 "Foreign Affairs"], on diplomatic recognition of the People's Republic of China, as cited in ''Churchill by Himself'' (2008), ed. Langworth, PublicAffairs, p. 16 <small>{{ISBN|1586486381}}</small> * I cannot conceive that Britain would be an ordinary member of a Federal Union limited to Europe in any period which can at present be foreseen. We should in my opinion favour and help forward all developments on the Continent which arise naturally from a removal of barriers, from the process of reconciliation, and blessed oblivion of the terrible past, and also from our common dangers in the future and present. Although a hard-and-fast concrete federal constitution for Europe is not within the scope of practical affairs, we should help, sponsor and aid in every possible way the movement towards European unity. We should seek steadfastly for means to become intimately associated with it. ** The Schuman Plan, Speech in the House of Commons, June 27, 1950 * '''Winston''': "I shall go to Chartwell next weekend."{{Pb}}'''Clementine''': "Winston, you can’t. It's closed and there will be no-one to cook for you."{{Pb}}'''Winston''': "I shall cook for myself. I can boil an egg. I’ve seen it done." ** Conversation between Churchill and wife [[Clementine Churchill]] related by [[w:Anthony Montague Browne|Anthony Montague Browne]] in his 1995 book ''Long Sunset'' [https://winstonchurchill.org/resources/reference/residences/churchill-chartwell-and-the-garden-of-england/] (early 1950s) * It excites world wonder in the Parliamentary countries that we should build a Chamber, starting afresh, which can only seat two-thirds of its Members. It is difficult to explain this to those who do not know our ways. They cannot easily be made to understand why we consider that the intensity, passion, intimacy, informality and spontaneity of our Debates constitute the personality of the House of Commons and endow it at once with its focus and its strength. ** Speech in the House of Commons, October 24, 1950 [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1950/oct/24/motion-for-address-in-reply#column_2707 "Motion for Address in Reply"]. * The object of Parliament is to substitute argument for fisticuffs. ** Speech in the House of Commons (June 6, 1951) ; in ''Churchill by Himself'' (2008), ed. Langworth, PublicAffairs, p. 22 <small>{{ISBN|1586486381}}</small> *Let us look back on the conduct of Mr. Attlee and his friends in the years before the war. The Labour Party denounced the Baldwin Government for "planning a vast and expensive rearmament programme"...Mr. Attlee said on November 10, 1935: "The National Government is preparing a great programme of rearmament which will endanger the peace of the world". [[Herbert Morrison|Mr. Morrison]], in the same month, said "the Government leaders are all urging a policy of rearmament, and Mr. Chamberlain is ready and anxious to spend millions of pounds on machines of destruction". I suppose those must have been the aeroplanes which saved us in the [[w:Battle_of_Britain|Battle of Britain]]. And, again: "Every vote for the Unionists would be a vote for an international race in arms, and a vote for that was a vote for war". Such was the language of the Socialist leaders in the years while Hitler's Germany was rearming night and day. ... And yet...at the election of 1945, the Labour Party gained great credit by denouncing the Chamberlain Government as guilty men for not having made larger and more timely arrangements. **Speech in Woodford (12 October 1951), quoted in ''The Times'' (13 October 1951), p. 9 *I look back with pride to the great measures of social reform—Unemployment Insurance, Labour Exchanges, Safety in the Coalmines, bringing Old Age Pensions down from seventy to sixty-five years of age, the Widows' and Orphans' Pensions—for which I have been responsible both as a Liberal and a Conservative Minister. I find comfort in the broad harmony of thought which prevails between the modern Tory democracy and the doctrines of the famous Liberal leaders of the past. I am sure that in accord with their speeches and writings, men like [[H. H. Asquith|Asquith]], [[John Morley, 1st Viscount Morley of Blackburn|Morley]] and [[Edward Grey, 1st Viscount Grey of Fallodon|Grey]], whom I knew so well in my youth, would have regarded the establishment of a Socialist State and the enforcement of the collectivist theory as one of the worst evils that could befall Britain and her slowly-evolved, long-cherished way of life. **Speech at Huddersfield Town Hall (15 October 1951), quoted in Winston Churchill, ''Stemming the Tide: Speeches 1951 and 1952'' (1953), p. 149 * The Chinese said of themselves several thousand years ago: "China is a sea that salts all the waters that flow into it." There's another Chinese saying about their country which is much more modern—it dates only from the fourth century. This is the saying: "The tail of [[China]] is large and will not be wagged." I like that one. The British democracy approves the principles of movable party heads and unwaggable national tails. It is due to the working of these important forces that I have the honour to be addressing you at this moment. ** Address to a joint session of Congress, Washington, D.C. (January 17, 1952); reported in ''Winston S. Churchill: His Complete Speeches, 1897–1963, ed. Robert Rhodes James (1974), vol. 8, p. 8326.'' * But now let me return to my theme of the many changes that have taken place since I was last here. There is a jocular saying: ''''To improve is to change; to be perfect is to have changed often.'''' I had to use that once or twice in my long career. ** Address to a joint session of Congress, Washington, D.C., (17 January 1952) "We Must Not Lose Hope", in ''The Great Republic : A History of America'' (2000), Churchill, Random House, p. 399 <small>{{ISBN|0375754407}}</small> *[T]omorrow the proclamation of her sovereignty will command the loyalty of her native land and of all other parts of the British Commonwealth and Empire. I, whose youth was passed in the august, unchallenged and tranquil glories of the [[Victorian era|Victorian Era]], may well feel a thrill in invoking, once more, the prayer and the Anthem, GOD SAVE THE QUEEN. **Broadcast upon the accession of [[w:Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom|Elizabeth II]] (7 February 1952) , quoted in Winston Churchill, ''Stemming the Tide: Speeches 1951 and 1952'' (1953), p. 240 *I am against the [[monopoly]] enjoyed by the [[w:BBC|BBC]]. For eleven years they kept me off the air. They prevented me from expressing views which have proved to be right. Their behaviour has been tyrannical. They are honeycombed with Socialists—probably with Communists. **Remarks to Lord Moran (3 June 1952), quoted in Lord Moran, ''Winston Churchill: The Struggle for Survival, 1940-1965'' (1966; 1968), p. 416. *Last week I watched the [[w:Trooping the Colour|Trooping the Colour]] and our young Queen riding at the head of her Guards... Certainly no one of British race could contemplate such a spectacle without pride. But no thinking man or woman could escape the terrible question: on what does it all stand? It does indeed seem hard that the traditions and triumphs of a thousand years should be challenged by the ebb and flow of [[Market|markets]] and commercial and financial transactions...and that we have to watch from month to month the narrow margins upon which our solvency and consequently our reputation and influence depend. But fifty million islanders growing food for only thirty millions, and dependent for the rest upon their exertions, their skill and their genius, present a problem which has not been seen or at least recorded before. In all history there has never been a community so large, so complex, so sure of its way of life, posed at such dizzy eminence and on so precarious a foundation. **Speech at the Savoy Hotel, London (11 June 1952), quoted in Winston Churchill, ''Stemming the Tide: Speeches 1951 and 1952'' (1953), pp. 298-299 * '''Personally, I am always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught,''' but I shall not attempt to foreshadow the proposals which will be brought before the House tomorrow. Today it will be sufficient and appropriate to deal with the obvious difficulties and confusion of the situation as we found it on taking office. ** In [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1952/nov/04/debate-on-the-address debate] in the House of Commons, 4 Nov 1952 *We in this small Island have to make a supreme effort to maintain our place and status, the place and status to which our undying genius entitles us. **Speech at Harrow School, 7 November 1952. Quoted in Field Marshal Lord Michael Carver: "Tightrope Walking" (1992), pg 34 * Nicholas Soames: "Is it true, grandpapa, that you are the greatest man in the world?" Churchill: "Yes I am. Now bugger off." ** Approximately 1953<ref>{{cite news|last=Hoggart|first=Simon|url=https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2001/jun/04/election2001.politicalcolumnists|title=Hats off to Soames, Off Message but on Majestic Form|work=The Guardian|date=4 June 2001}}</ref> * Without tradition, art is a flock of sheep without a shepherd. Without innovation, it is a corpse. ** From a speech given at the [[wikipedia:Royal Academy of Art|Royal Academy of Art]] in 1953; quoted in ''Time'' magazine (11 May 1954). * '''To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.''' ** Remarks at a White House luncheon (26 June 1954) ** Quoted in {{cite news | url = http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F00A10FE3458117A93C5AB178DD85F408585F9 | title = Churchill Urges Patience in Coping with Red Dangers | publisher = [[w:The New York Times|The New York Times]] | date = [[June 27]], [[1954]] }} ** Has been falsely attributed to [[Otto von Bismarck]]. ** But Churchill's official biographer, Sir Martin Gilbert, speaking of this quote, noted that Churchill actually said, "Meeting jaw to jaw is better than war." Four years later, during a visit to Australia, Harold Macmillan said the words usually—and wrongly—attributed to Churchill: "Jaw, jaw is better than war, war." Credit: Harold Macmillan.<ref>https://winstonchurchill.org/resources/quotes/quotes-falsely-attributed/</ref> * If I had been properly supported in 1919, I think we might have strangled Bolshevism in its cradle, but everybody turned up their hands and said, 'How shocking!' ** Remarks to the National Press Club, Washington (28 June 1954)<ref>Churchill, Churchill by Himself, 381.</ref> *I read with great interest all that you have written me about what is called Colonialism, namely: bringing forward backward races and opening up the jungles. I was brought up to feel proud of much that we had done. Certainly in [[India]], with all its history, religion and ancient forms of despotic rule, Britain has a story to tell which will look quite well against the background of the coming hundred years... I am sceptical about [[universal suffrage]] for the Hottentots even if refined by proportional representation. The British and American Democracies were slowly and painfully forged and even they are not perfect yet. **Letter to [[Dwight D. Eisenhower|President Eisenhower]] (8 August 1954), quoted in Martin Gilbert, '''Never Despair': Winston S. Churchill, 1945–1965'' (1988), pp. 1040-1041. Cf. [[Robert Gascoyne-Cecil, 3rd Marquess of Salisbury#1880s|Lord Salisbury]]: "You would not confide free representative institutions to the Hottentots". * We have surmounted all the perils and endured all the agonies of the past. We shall provide against and thus prevail over the dangers and problems of the future, withhold no sacrifice, grudge no toil, seek no sordid gain, fear no foe. All will be well. We have, I believe, within us the life-strength and guiding light by which the tormented world around us may find the harbour of safety, after a storm-beaten voyage. ** At Chateau Laurier, Ottawa, Canada, November 9, 1954 ; as cited at [http://www.winstonchurchill.org/learn/speeches/quotations/famous-quotations-and-stories The Churchill Centre]. *For myself I am an optimist — it does not seem to be much use being anything else. **Lord Mayor's Banquet, Guildhall, London (9 November 1954) ''The Unwritten Alliance'', page 195, Columbia University, NY (1966),page 195, *I have lived my life in the House of Commons, having served there for 52 out of the last 54 years of this tumultuous and convulsive century. I have indeed seen all the ups and downs of fate and fortune there, but I have never ceased to love and honour the Mother of Parliaments, the model of the legislative assemblies of so many lands. **Speech in [[w:Palace of Westminster#Westminster Hall|Westminster Hall]] for his eightieth birthday (30 November 1954), quoted in ''The Times'' (1 December 1954), p. 11 *I was very glad when Mr. Attlee described my speeches in the late war as expressing the will not only of [[Parliament of the United Kingdom|Parliament]] but of the whole nation. I have never accepted what many people have kindly said—namely, that I inspired the nation. Their will was resolute and remorseless and it proved unconquerable. It fell to me to express it and if I found the right word you must remember that I have always earned my living by my pen, and by my tongue. **Speech in Westminster Hall (30 November 1954), quoted in ''The Times'' (1 December 1954), p. 11 *'''It was the nation and the race dwelling all round the globe that had the lion's heart. I had the luck to be called upon to give the roar.''' **Speech in Westminster Hall (30 November 1954), quoted in ''The Times'' (1 December 1954), p. 11 *An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile — hoping it will eat him last. ** In ''Reader's Digest'' (December 1954). * "Keep England White" is a good slogan. ** On Commonwealth immigration, recorded in Harold Macmillan's diary entry (20 January 1955), quoted in Peter Catterall (ed.), ''The Macmillan Diaries: The Cabinet Years, 1950-57'' (Macmillan, 2003), p. 382 * I have worked very hard with Nehru. I told him he should be the light of Asia, to show all those mil­lions how they can shine out, instead of accept­ing the dark­ness of Com­mu­nism. ** 18 Feb­ru­ary 1955, WSC to Eden's pri­vate sec­re­tary Eve­lyn Shuckburgh. *There is widespread belief throughout the free world that, but for American nuclear superiority, Europe would already have been reduced to satellite status and the Iron Curtain would have reached the [[Atlantic Ocean|Atlantic]] and the Channel. Unless a trustworthy and universal agreement upon [[disarmament]], conventional and nuclear alike, can be reached and an effective system of inspection is established and is actually working, there is only one sane policy for the free world in the next few years. That is what we call defence through deterrents. This we have already adopted and proclaimed. These deterrents may at any time become the parents of disarmament, provided that they deter. To make our contribution to the deterrent we must ourselves possess the most up-to-date [[nuclear weapons]], and the means of delivering them. **[https://hansard.parliament.uk/commons/1955-03-01/debates/ae81a20b-68e7-42d0-8cbb-d9589f53fc0d/Defence#1896 Speech] in the House of Commons (1 March 1955) *I have a strong admiration for the Russian people—for their bravery, their many gifts, and their kindly nature. It is the Communist dictatorship and the declared ambition of the Communist Party and their proselytising activities that we are bound to resist, and that is what makes this great world cleavage. **[https://hansard.parliament.uk/commons/1955-03-01/debates/ae81a20b-68e7-42d0-8cbb-d9589f53fc0d/Defence#1897 Speech] in the House of Commons (1 March 1955) *Hitherto, crowded countries...like the United Kingdom and Western Europe, have had this outstanding vulnerability to carry. But the [[w:Thermonuclear weapon|hydrogen bomb]], with its vast range of destruction and the even wider area of contamination, would be effective also against nations whose population hitherto has been so widely dispersed over large land areas as to make them feel that they were not in any danger at all. They, too, become highly vulnerable ... Here again we see the value of deterrents, immune against surprise and well understood by all persons on both sides—I repeat "on both sides"—who have the power to control events. That is why I have hoped for a long time for a top level conference where these matters could be put plainly and bluntly from one friendly visitor to the conference to another. Then it may well be that we shall by a process of sublime irony have reached a stage in this story where '''safety will be the sturdy child of terror, and survival the twin brother of annihilation.''' **[https://hansard.parliament.uk/commons/1955-03-01/debates/ae81a20b-68e7-42d0-8cbb-d9589f53fc0d/Defence#1899 Speech] in the House of Commons (1 March 1955) *The day may dawn when fair play, love for one's fellow men, respect for justice and freedom, will enable tormented generations to march forth triumphant from the hideous epoch in which we have to dwell. Meanwhile, never flinch, never weary, never despair. **[https://hansard.parliament.uk/commons/1955-03-01/debates/ae81a20b-68e7-42d0-8cbb-d9589f53fc0d/Defence#1905 Speech] in the House of Commons (1 March 1955) * I think it is the most important subject facing this country, but I cannot get any of my ministers to take any notice. ** To Sir Ian Gilmour on Commonwealth immigration to England in 1955, quoted in Ian Gilmour, ''Inside Right'' (Hutchinson, 1977), p. 134 *It remains for me to wish my colleagues all good fortune in the difficult, but hopeful, situation which you have to face. I trust that you will be enabled to further the progress already made in rebuilding the domestic stability and economic strength of the United Kingdom and in weaving still more closely the threads which bind together the countries of the Commonwealth or, as I still prefer to call it, the Empire. **Speech to his last Cabinet (5 April 1955), quoted in Henry Pelling, ''Churchill's Peacetime Ministry, 1951–55'' (1997), p. 175 *No, no. I stop in Victoria's reign. I could not write about the woe and ruin of the terrible twentieth century. We answered all the tests. But it was useless. **His answer to [[w:Charles Wilson, 1st Baron Moran|Lord Moran]], who asked him whether he would write about the 20th century in his ''A History of the English Speaking Peoples'' (19 June 1956), quoted in Lord Moran, ''Winston Churchill: The Struggle for Survival, 1940–1965'' (1966; 1968), p. 732 *Among our Socialist opponents there is great confusion. Some of them regard private enterprise as a predatory tiger to be shot. Others look on it as a cow they can milk. Only a handful see it for what it really is—the strong and willing horse that pulls the whole cart along. ** ''The Unwritten Alliance: Speeches 1953-1959'', London: Cassell, (1961), p. 324, Woodford, Essex, (1959, 29 September) * We are all worms. But I do believe I am a glow-worm. ** As quoted by [[Violet Bonham Carter|Violet Bonham-Carter]] in ''Winston Churchill as I Knew Him'' (1965), according to ''The Yale Book of Quotations'' (2006), Fred R. Shapiro, Yale University Press, p. 155 <small>{{ISBN|0300107986}}</small> * I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. ** As cited in ''The Forbes Book of Business Quotations'' (2007), Ed. Goodwin, Black Dog Publishing, p. 49, <small>{{ISBN|1579127215}}</small> * It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required. ** As cited in ''The Forbes Book of Business Quotations'' (2007), Ed. Goodwin, Black Dog Publishing, p. 168, <small>{{ISBN|1579127215}}</small> * I am a sporting man. I always give them a fair chance to get away. ** Asked why he missed so many trains and aeroplanes, as cited in ''My Darling Clementine'' (1963), Fishman, W.H. Allen : Star Books edition (1974), p. 218 <small>{{ISBN|0352300191}}</small> * We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out. ** Quoted in ''Words of Wisdom: Winston Churchill'', Students' Academy, Lulu Press (2014), Section Three : <small>{{ISBN|1312396598}}</small> * In the course of my life I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet. ** Quoted by [[wikipedia:Norman Brook, 1st Baron Normanbrook|Lord Normanbrook]] in [http://books.google.com/books?id=qxchAAAAMAAJ&q=%22in+the+course+of+my+life+I+have+often+had+to+eat+my+words+and+I+must+confess+that+I+have+always+found+it+a+wholesome+diet%22&pg=PA28#v=onepage ''Action This Day: Working With Churchill. Memoirs by Lord Norman Brook (And Others)''] (1968) ** Often misquoted as: Eating my words has never given me indigestion.[http://books.google.com/books?id=vbsU21fEhLAC&q=%22Eating+my+words+has+never+given+me+indigestion%22&pg=PA486#v=onepage]. * [[Historian|Historians]] are apt to judge war ministers less by the victories achieved under their direction than by the political results which flowed from them. Judged by that standard, I am not sure that I shall be held to have done very well. ** Quoted by Robert Boothby in Robert Boothy, Recollections of a Rebel (1978), pp. 183–84. * Take away that pudding – it has no theme. ** As cited in ''Oxford Dictionary of Quotations by Subject'' (2010), ed. Susan Ratcliffe, Oxford University Press, p. 193 : <small>{{ISBN|0199567069}}</small> ; reported in ''The Way the Wind Blows'' (1976), [[wikipedia:Alec Douglas-Home|Lord Home]], Quadrangle, p. 217. * [Magna Carta provided] "a system of checks and balances which would accord the [[monarchy]] its necessary strength, but would prevent its perversion by a tyrant or a fool." ** [http://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/102002924?q=Churchill&p=par Magna Carta and Man's Quest for Freedom, JW.org] * This Treasury paper, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read. ** As cited in ''Churchill by Himself'' (2008), ed. Langworth, PublicAffairs, p. 50, ISBN <small>1586486389</small> * I want no [[Anti-Americanism|criticism of America]] at my table. The Americans criticize themselves more than enough. ** As cited in ''Churchill By Himself'' (2008), Ed. Langworth, PublicAffairs, p. 128 <small>{{ISBN|1586486381}}</small> * '''My ability to persuade my wife to marry me [was] quite my most brilliant achievement ...''' Of course, it would have been impossible for any ordinary man to have got through what I had to go through in peace and war without the devoted aid of what we call, in England, one's better half. ** As cited in ''Churchill by Himself'' (2008), ed. Langworth, PublicAffairs, p. 511, <small>{{ISBN|1586489577}}</small> * Some people regard private enterprise as a predatory tiger to be shot. Others look on it as a cow they can milk. Not enough people see it as a healthy horse, pulling a sturdy wagon. ** As quoted in the ''United States of America Congressional Record: Proceedings and Debates of the 105th Congress Second Session'', Government Printing Office, Vol. 144, Part 4, [https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=nEI6WcjH8ykC&pg=PA5738 p. 5738] ===''[[w:The Second World War (book series)|The Second World War (book series)]]'' (1948–1953)=== * '''In [[War]]: [[Resolution]]. In [[Defeat]]: [[Defiance]]. In [[Victory]]: Magnanimity. In [[Peace]]: Good Will.''' ** ''The Second World War, Volume I : The Gathering Storm'' (1948) [http://books.google.de/books?id=HzlT3t05OHoC&pg=PR9#v=onepage&q&f=false Moral of the Work, p. ix] * Fascism was the shadow or ugly child of communism... As Fascism sprang from Communism, so Nazism developed from Fascism. Thus were set on foot those kindred movements which were destined soon to plunge the world into more hideous strife, which none can say has ended with their destruction. ** ''The Second World War, Volume 1, The Gathering Storm'', Mariner Books (1985), pp. 13-14. First published in 1948. * One day [[Franklin D. Roosevelt|President Roosevelt]] told me that he was asking publicly for suggestions about what the war should be called. I said at once 'The Unnecessary War'. ** ''The Second World War, Volume I : The Gathering Storm'' (1948). * Their horse cavalry, of which they had twelve brigades, charged valiantly against the swarming tanks and armoured cars but could not harm them with their swords and lances. ** On the Polish defense against Germany, in ''The Second World War, Volume I : The Gathering Storm'' (1948). * I felt as if I were walking with destiny, and that all my past life had been but a preparation for this hour and for this trial. ** On his appointment as Prime Minister, May 10, 1940; ''The Second World War, Volume I : The Gathering Storm'' (1948). * Those who are prone, by temperament and character, to seek sharp and clear-cut solutions of difficult and obscure problems, who are ready to fight whenever some challenge comes from a foreign power, have not always been right. On the other hand, those whose inclination is to bow their heads, to seek patiently and faithfully for peaceful compromise, are not always wrong. On the contrary, in the majority of instances they may be right, not only morally, but from a practical standpoint. '''How many wars have been averted by patience and persisting good will!''' Religion and virtue alike lend their sanctions to meekness and humility, not only between men but between nations. '''How many wars have been precipitated by firebrands! How many misunderstandings which led to wars could have been removed by temporizing! How often have countries fought cruel wars and then after a few years found themselves not only friends but allies!''' ** ''The Second World War, Volume I : The Gathering Storm'' (1948) Chapter 17 (The Tragedy of Munich), [http://books.google.de/books?id=HzlT3t05OHoC&pg=PA287&dq=churchill+the+gathering+storm+have+been+averted+by+patience+and+persisting+good+will!&hl=de&sa=X&ei=1355T-39C4jHsgb0t-mWBA&ved=0CDIQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q&f=false p .287] * Still, '''if you will not fight for the right when you can easily win without bloodshed; if you will not fight when your victory will be sure and not too costly; you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a precarious chance of survival. There may even be a worse case. You may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than live as slaves.''' ** ''The Second World War, Volume I: The Gathering Storm'' (1948) Chapter 19 (Prague, Albania, and the Polish Guarantee). * Baldwin, Stanley ... confesses putting party before country, 169-70; ... ** Index entry, ''The Second World War, Volume I: The Gathering Storm'' (1948) * When I look back on all these worries I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened. ** ''The Second World War, Volume II: Their Finest Hour'' (1949) Chapter 8 (September Tensions) *'''The only thing that ever really frightened me during the war was the [[w:Battle_of_the_Atlantic|U-boat peril]].''' **''The Second World War, Volume II: Their Finest Hour'' (1949) Chapter XXX (Ocean Peril). p. 529 * No American will think it wrong of me if I proclaim that to have the United States at our side was to me the greatest joy. I could not foretell the course of events. I do not pretend to have measured accurately the martial might of Japan, but now at this very moment I knew the United States was in the war, up to the neck and in to the death. So we had won after all! ... Hitler's fate was sealed. Mussolini's fate was sealed. As for the [[Japan during World War II|Japanese]], they would be ground to powder. ** ''The Second World War, Volume III: The Grand Alliance'' (1950) Chapter 32 (Pearl Harbor). * Some people did not like this ceremonious style. But after all '''when you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite.''' ** Churchill ended his December 8, 1941 letter to the Japanese Ambassador, declaring that a state of war now existed between the United Kingdom and Japan, with the courtly flourish "I have the honour to be, with high consideration, Sir, Your obedient servant". ** ''The Second World War, Volume III: The Grand Alliance'' (1950) Chapter 32 (Pearl Harbor). *Silly people, and there are many, not only in enemy countries, might discount the force of the United States. Some said they were soft, others that they would never be united. They would fool around at a distance. They would never come to grips. They would never stand bloodletting. Their democracy and system of recurrent elections would paralyse their war horizon to friend or foe. Now we should see the weakness of this numerous but remote, wealthy, and talkative people. But I had studied the American Civil War, fought out to the last desperate inch. ** ''The Grand Alliance: The Second World War'', Volume 3, (1950) p. 540 *War is mainly a catalogue of blunders. ** On the Soviet Union's failure to form a united Balkan front against Hitler ; in ''The Second World War, Volume III: The Grand Alliance'' (1950) Chapter 20 (The Soviet Nemesis) * This was one of the heaviest blows I can recall during the war....It was a bitter moment. '''Defeat is one thing; disgrace is another'''. **The Fall of Tobruk, 20 June 1942. **''The Second World War, Volume IV: The Hinge of Fate'' (1951) Chapter XII. pp. 343-4 * A number of social problems arose. I had been told that neither smoking nor alcoholic beverages were allowed in the [Saudi] Royal Presence. As I was the host at luncheon I raised the matter at once, and said to the interpreter that if it was the religion of His Majesty [<nowiki/>[[Ibn Saud]]] to deprive himself of [[Tobacco|smoking]] and [[Alcoholic beverages|alcohol]] I must point out that my rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after, and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them. The King graciously accepted the position. His own cup-bearer from Mecca offered me a glass of [[water]] from its sacred well, the most delicious I had ever tasted. ** Discussion of an audience with Saudi King Ibn Saud at the Fayoum oasis, Egypt, on February 17, 1945; in ''The Second World War, Volume VI : Triumph and Tragedy (1953)'', Chapter 23 (Yalta: Finale), pp. 348-349 * Before [[w:Second Battle of El Alamein|Alamein]] we never had a victory. After Alamein, we never had a defeat. ** ''The Second World War, Volume IV: The Hinge of Fate'' (1951) Chapter 33 (The Battle of Alamein) ** BBC News story on the 60th anniversary of [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/2347801.stm ''Alamein'']. * I am reminded of the professor who, in his declining hours, was asked by his devoted pupils for his final counsel. He replied, "Verify your quotations." ** ''The Second World War, Volume IV: The Hinge of Fate'' (1951) * Of course, when you are winning a war almost everything that happens can be claimed to be right and wise. ** In ''The Second World War, Volume V : Closing the Ring (1952)'' Chapter 12 (Island Prizes Lost). * By noon it was clear that the Socialists would have a majority. At luncheon my wife said to me, 'It may well be a blessing in disguise.' I replied, 'At the moment it seems quite effectively disguised.' ** On the (July 26, 1945) landslide electoral defeat that turned him out of office near the end of WWII, in ''The Second World War, Volume VI: Triumph and Tragedy'' (1953), Chapter 40 (The End of My Account), p. 583. === ''A History of the English-Speaking Peoples'' (1956–1958) === ''[[wikipedia:A History of the English Speaking Peoples|A History of the English Speaking Peoples]]'', in four volumes, much of which had been written in the 1930s. <small>{{ISBN|0-88029-423-X}}</small> * Thus ended the great [[American Civil War]], which upon the whole must be considered the noblest and least avoidable of all the great mass conflicts of which till then there was record. * No one can understand history without continually relating the long periods which are constantly mentioned to the experiences of our own short lives. Five years is a lot. Twenty years is the horizon to most people. Fifty years is [[antiquity]]. To understand how the impact of destiny fell upon any generation of men one must first imagine their position and then apply the time-scale of our own lives. ** Vol I; The Birth of Britain <!-- Dorset Press 1990 p 10 --> * At this point the march of invention brought a new factor upon the scene. [[Iron]] was dug and forged. Men armed with [[iron]] entered Britain from the Continent and killed the men of bronze. At this point we can plainly recognise across the vanished millenniums a fellow-being. A biped capable of slaying another with iron is evidently to modern eyes a man and a brother. ** On the end of the [[wikipedia:Bronze Age|Bronze Age]] and start of the [[wikipedia:Iron Age|Iron Age]], Vol I; The Birth of Britain. <!-- Dorset Press 1990 p 10 --> * We see the crude and corrupt beginnings of a higher civilisation blotted out by the ferocious uprising of the [[Indigenous peoples|native tribes]]. Still, it is the primary right of men to die and kill for the land they live in, and to punish with exceptional severity all members of their own race who have warmed their hands at the invaders' hearth. ** On the sack of [[wikipedia: St Albans|Verulamium (St. Albans)]] by [[wikipedia: Boudica|Queen Boadicea]] * Apparently, as in so many ancient battles, the beaten side were the victims of misunderstanding and the fate of the day was decided against them before the bulk of the forces realised that a serious engagement had begun. Reserves descended from the hills too late to achieve victory, but in good time to be massacred in the rout. ** On the [[wikipedia:Battle of Mons Graupius|Battle of Mons Graupius,]] which ended British resistance to Roman rule, Vol I; The Birth of Britain. <!-- Dorset Press 1990 p 32 --> * Like other systems in decay, the [[Roman Empire]] continued to function for several generations after its vitality was sapped. For nearly a hundred years our Island was one of the scenes of conflict between a dying civilisation and lusty, famishing barbarism. * The cities are everywhere in decline. [[Trade]], [[industry]] and [[agriculture]] bend under the weight of taxation. * The contrast between the morals at the centre of power and those practiced by wide communities in many subject lands presented problems of ever growing unrest. ** On the last years of Rome and [[wikipedia:Roman Britain|Roman Britain;]] Vol I; The Birth of Britain. <!-- Dorset Press 1990 p 49 --> * And wherever men are fighting against barbarism, tyranny, and massacre, for freedom, law, and honour, let them remember that the fame of their deeds, even though they themselves be exterminated, may perhaps be celebrated as long as the world rolls round. Let us then declare that [[King Arthur]] and his noble knights, guarding the Sacred Flame of Christianity and the theme of a world order, sustained by valour, physical strength, and good horses and armour, slaughtered innumerable hosts of foul barbarians and set decent folk an example for all time. ** On [[wikipedia:King Arthur|King Arthur]] Vol I; The Birth of Britain. <!-- Dorset Press 1990 p 60 --> * The picture rises before us vivid and bright: the finely carved, dragon-shaped prow; the high, curving stern; the long row of shields, black and yellow alternately, ranged along the sides; the gleam of steel; the scent of murder. ** On [[wikipedia:Longship|the Viking Long Ships]], Vol I; The Birth of Britain. <!-- Dorset Press 1990 p 93 --> * When we reflect upon the brutal vices of these salt-water bandits, [[Piracy|pirates]] as shameful as any whom the sea has borne, or recoil from their villainous destruction and cruel deeds, we must also remember the discipline, the fortitude, the comradeship and martial virtues which made them at this period beyond all challenge the most formidable and daring race in the world. ** On [[wikipedia:Viking|The Vikings]], Vol I; The Birth of Britain. <!-- Dorset Press 1990 p 94 --> * When the next year the raiders returned and landed near [[wikipedia:Jarrow|Jarrow]] they were stoutly attacked while harassed by bad weather. Many were killed. Their "king" was captured and put to a cruel death, and the fugitives carried so grim a tale back to [[wikipedia:Denmark|Denmark]] that for forty years the [[wikipedia:England|English]] coasts were unravaged. ** On a Viking Raid in 794 A.D.; Vol I; The Birth of Britain. <!-- Dorset Press 1990 p 96 --> * "872, [[wikipedia:Ivar the Boneless|Ivar]], King of the Northmen of all [[Ireland]] and [[wikipedia:Great Britain|Britain]], ended his life." He had conquered [[wikipedia:Mercia|Mercia]] and [[wikipedia:East Anglia|East Anglia.]] He had captured the major stronghold of the kingdom of [[wikipedia:Kingdom of Strathclyde|Strathclyde, Dumbarton.]] Laden with loot and seemingly invincible, he settled in [[wikipedia:Dublin|Dublin]] and died there peacefully two years later. The pious chroniclers report that he "slept in Christ." Thus it may be that he had the best of both worlds. ** On [[wikipedia:Ivar the Boneless|Ivar]], a Viking King (c. [[wikipedia:872|872]]); Vol I; The Birth of Britain. <!-- Dorset Press 1990 p 102 --> * A group of pagan ruffians and pirates had gained possession of an effective military and naval machine, but they faced a mass of formidable veterans whom they had to feed and manage, and for whom they must provide killings. Such men make plans, and certainly their descent upon [[wikipedia:England|England]] was one of the most carefully considered and elaborately prepared villainies of that dark time. ** On the Danish invasion of England in [[wikipedia:892|892]]; Vol I; The Birth of Britain. <!-- Dorset Press 1990 p 123 --> * Without any coherent national organisation to repel from the land on which they had settled the ever-unknowable descents from the seas, the Saxons, now for four centuries entitled to be deemed the owners of the soil, very nearly succumbed completely to the [[wikipedia:Denmark|Danish]] inroads. That they did not was due--as almost every critical turn of historic fortune has been due--to the sudden apparition in an era of confusion and decay of one of the great figures of history. ** On [[wikipedia:Alfred the Great|King Alfred the Great]]; Vol I; The Birth of Britain. <!-- Dorset Press 1990 p 103 --> * It was [[wikipedia:Twelfth Night (holiday)|Twelfth Night,]] and the Saxons, who in these days of torment refreshed and fortified themselves by celebrating the feasts of the Church, were off their guard, engaged in pious exercises, or perhaps even drunk. Down swept the ravaging foe. The whole army of [[wikipedia:Wessex|Wessex]], sole guarantee of [[wikipedia:England|England]] south of the [[wikipedia:River Thames|Thames]], was dashed into confusion. Many were killed. ** On [[wikipedia:King Alfred|King Alfred's]] defeat by the Danes in January, [[wikipedia:878|w:878]]; Vol I; The Birth of Britain. <!-- Dorset Press 1990 p 113 --> * Civilisation had been restored to the Island. But now the political fabric which nurtured it was about to be overthrown. Hitherto strong men armed had kept the house. Now a child, a weakling, a vacillator, a faithless, feckless creature, succeeded to the warrior throne. ** On [[wikipedia:Ethelred the Unready|Ethelred the Unready]]; Vol I; The Birth of Britain. <!-- Dorset Press 1990 p 135 --> * We have seen that [[Alfred the Great|Alfred]] in his day had never hesitated to use money as well as arms. [[wikipedia: Ethelred the Unready|Ethelred]] used money instead of arms. He used it in ever-increasing quantities, with ever-diminishing returns ... There is the record of a final payment to the Vikings in 1012. This time forty-eight thousand pounds' weight of silver was extracted, and the oppressors enforce the collection by the sack of [[wikipedia:Canterbury|Canterbury]], holding [[wikipedia:Alphege|Archbishop Alphege]] to ransom, and finally killing him at [[wikipedia:Greenwich|Greenwich]] because he refused to coerce his flock to raise the money. The [[wikipedia: Anglo-Saxon Chronicle|Chronicle]] states: "All these calamities fell upon us through evil counsel, because tribute was not offered to them at the right time, nor yet were they resisted; but, when they had done the most evil, then was peace made with them. And notwithstanding all this peace and tribute they went everywhere in companies, harried our wretched people, and slew them" ** On [[wikipedia:Ethelred the Unready|Ethelred the Unready's]] policy; Vol I; The Birth of Britain. <!-- Dorset Press 1990 p 136-7 --> * It is vain to recount further the catalogue of miseries. In earlier ages such horrors remain unknown because unrecorded. Just enough flickering light plays upon this infernal scene to give us the sense of its utter desolation and hopeless wretchedness and cruelty. ** On a series of Viking raids; Vol I; The Birth of Britain. <!-- Dorset Press 1990 p 138 --> * The lights of [[Anglo-Saxons|Saxon England]] were going out, and in the gathering darkness a gentle, grey-beard prophet foretold the end. When on his death-bed [[wikipedia:Edward the Confessor|Edward]] spoke of a time of evil that was coming upon the land his inspired mutterings struck terror into the hearers. ** On the death of [[wikipedia:Edward the Confessor|King Edward the Confessor]] in January, [[wikipedia:1066|1066]], months before the [[wikipedia:Norman conquest of England|Norman Invasion]]; Vol I; The Birth of Britain. <!-- Dorset Press 1990 p 149 --> * On September 28 the fleet hove in sight, and all came safely to anchor in [[wikipedia:Pevensey|Pevensey Bay]]. There was no opposition to the landing. The local "[[wikipedia:Leidang|fyrd]]" had been called out this year four times already to watch the coast, and having, in true English style, come to the conclusion that the danger was past because it had not yet arrived had gone back to their homes. ** On the landing of [[wikipedia:William I of England|William the Conqueror]] at [[wikipedia:Pevensey|Pevensey]]; Vol I; The Birth of Britain. <!-- Dorset Press 1990 p 162 --> * Someone once said that history is written by the victors. He probably was not the greatest of all victors, if only because his name has been utterly forgotten. ** On the [[wikipedia:Norman conquest of England|Norman conquest of England]]; Vol I; The Birth of Britain. <!-- Dorset Press 1990 p 167 --> * [[William I of England|William]] now directed his archers to shoot high into the air, so that the arrows would fall behind the shield-wall, and one of these pierced [[Harold II of England|Harold]] in the right-eye, inflicting a mortal wound. He fell at the foot of the royal standard, unconquerable except by death, which does not count in honour. The hard-fought battle was now decided. ** On the death of [[wikipedia:Harold Godwinson|King Harold]] at the [[wikipedia:Battle of Hastings|Battle of Hastings]] on [[October 14]], [[wikipedia:1066|1066]]; Vol I; The Birth of Britain. <!-- Dorset Press 1990 p 166 --> * Joan was a being so uplifted from the ordinary run of mankind that she finds no equal in a thousand years. She embodied the natural goodness and valour of the human race in unexampled perfection. Unconquerable courage, infinite compassion, the virtue of the simple, the wisdom of the just, shone forth in her. She glorifies as she freed the soil from which she sprang. ** On ''[[wikipedia:Joan of Arc|Saint Joan of Arc]]''; Vol I: The Birth of Britain, p. 422 <!-- Dodd, Mead 1956 p 422 --> * Time after time, history ran over the luddites and romanticists, those who sought to restore the old and delay the new. And every time, history did it with faster, more reliable and more advanced vehicles. ** On the [[wikipedia:Luddites|Luddites]] ; Vol II: The New World, p. 121 <!-- Dodd, Mead 1956 p 121 --> * By an uncompleted process of terror, by an iniquitous land settlement, by the [[Anti-Catholicism|virtual proscription of the Catholic religion]], by the bloody deeds already described, he cut new gulfs between the nations and the creeds. 'Hell or Connaught' were the terms he thrust upon the native inhabitants, and they for their part, across three hundred years, have used as their keenest expression of hatred 'The Curse of Cromwell on you.' ... Upon all of us there still lies 'the curse of [[Oliver Cromwell|Cromwell]]'. ** On [[wikipedia:Oliver Cromwell|Oliver Cromwell's]] policies in Ireland ; Vol II: The New World, p. 232 <!-- Dodd, Mead 1956 p 232 --> {{disputed begin}} ==Disputed== * America should have minded her own business and stayed out of the World War. If you hadn't entered the war the Allies would have made peace with Germany in the Spring of 1917. Had we made peace then there would have been no collapse in Russia followed by Communism, no breakdown in Italy followed by Fascism, and Germany would not have signed the Versailles Treaty, which has enthroned Nazism in Germany. If America had stayed out of the war, all these 'isms' wouldn't today be sweeping the continent of Europe and breaking down parliamentary government — and if England had made peace early in 1917, it would have saved over one million British, French, American, and other lives. ** Published as having been made in an (August 1936) [http://www.greatwar.nl/frames/default-churchill.html interview] with William Griffin, editor of the[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Enquirer '' New York Enquirer''], who was indicted for [http://www.time.com/time/magazine/printout/0,8816,773366,00.html sedition] by [http://www.whitehouse.gov/history/presidents/fr32.html F.D.R.'s] [http://www.usdoj.gov/osg/aboutosg/biddlebio.htm Attorney General Francis Biddle] in 1942. In a sworn statement before Congress in 1939 Griffin affirmed Churchill had said this; ''Congressional Record'' ([[1939-10-21]]), vol. 84, p. 686. In 1942, Churchill admitted having had the 1936 interview but disavowed having made the statement (''The New York Times'', [[1942-10-22]], p. 13). ** In his article "The Hidden Tyranny," Benjamin Freedman attributed this quotation to an article in the [http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,795133,00.html isolationist] publication ''Scribner's Commentator'' in 1936. However, that magazine did not exist until 1939. He may have gotten the date wrong or might have been referring to one of its predecessors, [http://cdl.library.cornell.edu/moa/browse.journals/scmo.html ''Scribner's Monthly''] or Payson Publishing's [http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,765655,00.html ''The Commentator'']. * <span id="preposition"></span> '''This is the type of arrant pedantry up with which I will not put.''' ** [http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/churchill.html "Churchill on Prepositions"], and [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.english.usage/browse_thread/thread/dbf8ed860d953172/d44fbc9923cd662c?q=ben+zimmer+%22The+Strand%22&rnum=2#d44fbc9923cd662c alt.english.usage at google groups] have been the most immediate sources for much of the information which indicates this remark or others like it were probably not made by Churchill. :The earliest known version makes no mention of Churchill, and appeared in the ''Strand Magazine'', later quoted in the "Pepper and Salt" section of the ''Wall Street Journal'' on [[1942-09-30]]: ::When a memorandum passed round a certain Government department, one young pedant scribbled a postscript drawing attention to the fact that the sentence ended with a preposition, which caused the original writer to circulate another memorandum complaining that the anonymous postscript was''' "offensive impertinence, up with which I will not put."''' :The earliest known attribution of this to Churchill appears to be in ''Plain Words'' (1948) by Sir Ernest Gowers, who writes: ::It is said that Mr. Winston Churchill once made this marginal comment against a sentence that clumsily avoided a prepositional ending:''' "This is the sort of English up with which I will not put". ''' :A far more elaborate version also appeared in the ''Wall Street Journal'' on the [[December 9]] that same year: ::The carping critic who can criticize the inartistic angle of the firemen's hose while they are attempting to put out the fire, has his counterpart in a nameless individual in the British Foreign Office who once found fault with a projected speech by Winston Churchill. It was in the most tragic days of [[World War II]], when the life of Britain, nay, of all Europe, hung in the balance. Churchill prepared a highly important speech to deliver in Parliament, and, as a matter of custom, submitted an advanced draft to the Foreign Office for comment. Back came the speech with no word save a notation that one of the sentences ended with a preposition, and an indication where the error should be eliminated. To this suggestion, the Prime Minister replied with the following note:''' "This is the type of arrant pedantry up with which I will not put." ''' :Over the years many variants that seem to have been based on informal anecdotes have arisen including:<br>"This is the type of pedantry up with which I will not put." <br>"This is the sort of bloody nonsense up with which I will not put." * It is always wise to look ahead – but difficult to look further than you can see. ** Appears in ''Churchill By Himself'', ed. Langworth, PublicAffairs , p. 576 ("Appendix I : Red Herrings") : <small>{{ISBN|1586489577}}</small> , with the following explanatory note ; "Reported by the usually reliable Graham Cawthorne, but not in Hansard; possibly an aside to a colleague, however" * You are a small exclamation mark at the end of a very long and insignificant sentence in the book of history. ** a remark made in the House of Commons responding to a Laborite speech; reported as unverified in ''Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations'' (1989). * ''Bessie Braddock'': Winston, you are drunk, and what's more you are disgustingly drunk.<br>''Churchill'': Bessie, my dear, you are ugly, and, what's more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly. ** Churchill's bodyguard Ronald Golding claims that he witnessed Churchill say this in 1946 to Labour MP [[w:Bessie Braddock]]. Golding's claim, made to Churchill expert Richard Langworth, was reported in Langworth's collection [https://books.google.com/books?id=vbsU21fEhLAC&q=braddock#v=snippet&q=braddock&f=false ''Churchill by himself'']. Langworth adds that Churchill's daughter Lady Soames doubted the story. ** The basic idea of this joke was published as early as 1882, although it was used to ridicule the critic's foolishness rather than ugliness: ''" ... are you Mr. —-, the greatest fool in the House of Commons?" "You are drunk," exclaimed the M.P. "Even if I am," replied the man, "I have the advantage over you – I shall be sober to-morrow, whereas you will remain the fool you are to-day."'' (1882 August 05, The Daily Republican-Sentinel, His Advantage, p. 5, col. 2, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, cited by [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2011/08/17/sober-tomorrow/ Quote Investigator]). ** Reported as false by George Thayer, ''The Washington Post'' (April 27, 1971), p. B6. ** Often given in a shorter form, e.g., " Winston, you are drunk." "Indeed, Madam, and you are ugly—but tomorrow I'll be sober." ** Churchill's interlocutor may be given as Lady Astor rather than Braddock. * Democracy means that if the doorbell rings in the early hours, it is likely to be the milkman. ** Widely quoted and attributed, but without a documented source. * Hence, we will not say that [[Greeks]] fight like heroes, but that heroes fight like Greeks. ** Allegedly said regarding a Greek victory over Italian invaders, but without a documented source. * '''The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.''' Most people, sometime in their lives, stumble across truth. Most jump up, brush themselves off, and hurry on about their business, as if nothing happened. ** As quoted in, but without a documented source: Joseph Romanella (2012): ''[https://books.google.de/books?id=vjQvJ1EITDkC&pg=PR30&lpg=PR30&dq=The+truth+is+incontrovertible.+Malice+may+attack+it,+ignorance+may+deride+it,+but+in+the+end,+there+it+is.+source&source=bl&ots=2z1rN6iBG6&sig=ACfU3U20jzEJtXfaAFYwx1K2zhzOOFzkog&hl=de&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjQuemItuLpAhUNxqYKHR_LDccQ6AEwAnoECAUQAQ#v=onepage&q=The%20truth%20is%20incontrovertible.%20Malice%20may%20attack%20it%2C%20ignorance%20may%20deride%20it%2C%20but%20in%20the%20end%2C%20there%20it%20is.%20source&f=false Adam's Dream: Is Everything We Think, Believe, and Perceive Real—or Is It All Imaginary?]'', page xxx. ISBN: 978-1-4525-0823-8 (sc). ISBN: 978-1-4525-0824-5 (e). Bloomington, Indiana, United States of America: Balboa Press, a division of Hay House. * '''Continuous effort — not strength or intelligence — is the key to unlocking our potential.''' ** First mentioned as "''Continuous effort — not strength or intelligence — is the key to unlocking and using our potential.''" according to [[w:Quote Investigator|Quote Investigator]] in the 1981 book ''The Reflecting Pond: Meditations for Self-Discovery'' by Liane Cordes, Quote Page 89, Hazelden Publishing, Center City, Minnesota. For further research on this quote see: [[w:Quote Investigator|Quote Investigator]] (August 31, 2013): ''Continuous Effort — Not Strength or Intelligence — Is the Key to Unlocking and Using Our Potential Winston Churchill? Liane Cordes? Liane Cardes? Apocryphal?'' [http://archive.is/E0M12 Archived] on June 2, 2020 [https://quoteinvestigator.com/2013/08/21/effort/ from the original]. * '''Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.''' ** The earliest published evidence located by [[w:Quote Investigator|Quote Investigator]] for a similar quote appeared in Reader's Digest magazine in 1942 (specific source: 1942 April, Reader's Digest, Volume 40, Picturesque Speech and Patter, Page 92, The Reader's Digest Association.) and the words were ascribed to Winston Churchill. For further research on this quote see: [[w:Quote Investigator|Quote Investigator]] (May 26, 2012): ''Men Occasionally Stumble Over the Truth, But They Pick Themselves Up and Hurry Off. Winston Churchill? Simon Singh? Stanley Baldwin? The Reader's Digest? Apocryphal?'' [http://archive.is/ACmMl Archived] on June 2, 2020 [https://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/05/26/stumble-over-truth/ from the original]. * '''Of all the small nations of this earth, perhaps only the ancient Greeks surpass the Scots in their contribution to mankind.''' ** Widely quoted and attributed,{{who|date = January 2023}} but without a documented source.{{citation needed|date = January 2023}} * '''Never let a good crisis go to waste.''' ** Purportedly said in reference to the Yalta Conference,{{citation needed|date = January 2023}} this statement has rather been attributed to [[Rahm Emmanuel]], Chief of Staff under U.S. President [[Barack Obama]] (perhaps deriving from the fifth chapter on "Communication", from [[Saul Alinsky]]'s 1971 book, ''Rules for Radicals'', which asserts "a threat or a crisis becomes... a precondition to communication" [in] "the arena of action", p. 89; {{isbn|9780679721130}}), and is clearly evident in the language of M. F. Weiner in a 1976 article entitled “Don’t Waste a Crisis—Your Patient’s or Your Own.” (''Medical Economics'' [full citation needed]). See the Freakonomics.com article, {{cite web | author = Dubner, Stephen J. | date = August 13, 2009 | title = Quotes Uncovered: Who Said No Crisis Should Go to Waste? | format = and comments therein | url = https://freakonomics.com/2009/08/quotes-uncovered-who-said-no-crisis-should-go-to-waste/ | access-date = 4 January 2023}} * I am quite satisfied with my views of India. I don’t want them disturbed by any bloody Indian. **Thus Winston Churchill said (or is alleged to have said) to Lord Halifax née Lord Irwin née Edward Wood, in 1929. See [https://richardlangworth.com/churchill-quotates-misquotes-views-disturbed-bloody-indian richardlangworth.com] for discussion of the quote. Ben Pimlott, editor, The Second World War Diary of Hugh Dalton 1940-45 (Jonathan Cape 1986), 126. {{disputed end}} {{Misattributed begin}} == Misattributed == * '''The Balkans produce more history than they can consume''' (also reported in the form: ''The peoples of the Balkans produce more history than they can consume, and the weight of their past lies oppressively on their present.'') ** Although widely attributed to Winston Churchill (e.g. by the President of the British Academy, Professor Sir Adam Roberts<ref>[http://www.gresham.ac.uk/lectures-and-events/reinventing-the-wheel-the-cost-of-neglecting-international-history Reinventing the Wheel]. Footnote #5</ref>), the quote is spurious. ** The remark was quoted - although without attribution, and concerning East Central Europe instead - by [[Margaret Thatcher]] in her speech, "New Threats for Old," in Westminster College, Fulton, Mo., at a joint commemoration with the Churchill Centre of the "Iron Curtain" speech's 50th anniversary, on 9 March 1996: "It is, of course, often the case in foreign affairs that statesmen are dealing with problems for which there is no ready solution. They must manage them as best they can. That might be true of nuclear proliferation, but no such excuses can be made for the European Union's activities at the end of the Cold War. It faced a task so obvious and achievable as to count as an almost explicit duty laid down by History: namely, the speedy incorporation of the new Central European democracies--Poland, Hungary and what was then Czechoslovakia--within the EU's economic and political structures. Early entry into Europe was the wish of the new democracies; it would help to stabilize them politically and smooth their transition to market economies; and it would ratify the post-Cold War settlement in Europe. Given the stormy past of that region--'''the inhabitants are said to produce more history than they can consume locally'''--everyone should have wished to see it settled economically."<ref> The speech is in James W. Muller, ed., Winston Churchill's "Iron Curtain" Speech Fifty Years Later (Columbia: University of Missouri Press, 1999), which collects the papers from that occasion. A readable .pdf is on the Churchill Centre website (scroll to pages 18-24): http://www.winstonchurchill.org/images/finesthour/Vol.01%20No.90.pdf</ref> ** The sources of Thatcher's quote is likely a passage in the 1911 "Chronicles of Clovis", by Hector Hugh Munro ([[Saki]]), referring actually to [[Crete]]: "It was during the debate on the Foreign Office vote that Stringham made his great remark that "'''the people of Crete unfortunately make more history than they can consume locally'''." It was not brilliant, but it came in the middle of a dull speech, and the House was quite pleased with it. Old gentlemen with bad memories said it reminded them of Disraeli."<ref> Full text available here: https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Chronicles_of_Clovis/The_Jesting_of_Arlington_Stringham</ref> * Power will go to the hands of rascals, rogues and freebooters. All Indian leaders will be of low calibre and men of straw. They will have sweet tongues and silly hearts. They will fight amongst themselves for power and India will be lost in political squabbles. **Often cited as from a speech "on the eve of Indian Independence in 1947", e.g. [http://ia.rediff.com/money/2007/apr/11guest.htm "Anything multiplied by zero is zero indeed!"] in ''Rediff India Abroad'' (11 April 2007), or even from a speech in the house of Commons, but it does not appear to have any credible source. May have first appeared in the Annual Report of [[w:P. N. Oak|P. N. Oak]]'s discredited "Institute for Rewriting Indian History" in 1979, and is now quoted in at least three books, as well as countless media and websites. *There is no such thing as a good tax. **The correct attribution is Oklahoma Senator Thomas Gore, in his speech to the National Tax Association in 1935.<ref>http://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/new_york_city/entry/there_is_no_such_thing_as_a_good_tax/</ref><ref>http://newspaperarchive.com/san-antonio-express/1935-10-17/page-2</ref> Though it is often attributed to Churchill, there is no evidence he ever said it. {{anchor|Brain}} * '''If you're not a liberal when you're 25, you have no heart. If you're not a conservative by the time you're 35, you have no brain.''' ** The earliest example of this quotation is found in [[w:Jules Arsène Arnaud Claretie|Jules Claretie's]] ''Portraits Contemporains'' (1875), where the following remark is ascribed to lawyer and academic Anselme Polycarpe Batbie: "Celui qui n'est pas républicain à vingt ans fait douter de la générosité de son âme; mais celui qui, après trente ans, persévère, fait douter de la rectitude de son esprit" (English: "He who is not a republican at twenty compels one to doubt the generosity of his heart; but he who, after thirty, persists, compels one to doubt the soundness of his mind").<ref>https://books.google.com/books?id=nIuaBX8moLkC&q=%22fait+douter%22#v=snippet&q=%22fait%20douter%22&f=false</ref><ref>http://quoteinvestigator.com/2014/02/24/heart-head/</ref> **According to [http://www.webcitation.org/query?id=1256577474900567&url=www.geocities.com/Athens/5952/unquote.html research] by Mark T. Shirey, citing ''Nice Guys Finish Seventh: False Phrases, Spurious Sayings, and Familiar Misquotations'' by Ralph Keyes, 1992, this quote was first uttered by mid-nineteenth century French historian and statesman [[w:François Guizot|François Guizot]] when he observed, ''Not to be a republican at 20 is proof of want of heart; to be one at 30 is proof of want of head.'' (N'être pas républicain à vingt ans est preuve d'un manque de cœur ; l'être après trente ans est preuve d'un manque de tête.) However, this ascription is based in an entry in ''Benham's Book of Quotations Proverbs and Household Words'' (1936): the original place where Guizot said this has not been located. This quote has been attributed variously to [[George Bernard Shaw]], [[Benjamin Disraeli]], [[Otto von Bismarck]], and others. **Furthermore, the [http://www.winstonchurchill.org Churchill Centre], on its [http://www.winstonchurchill.org/resources/quotations/quotes-falsely-attributed Falsely Attributed Quotations] page, states "there is no record of anyone hearing Churchill say this." Paul Addison of Edinburgh University is quoted as stating: "Surely Churchill can't have used the words attributed to him. He'd been a Conservative at 15 and a Liberal at 35! And would he have talked so disrespectfully of Clemmie, who is generally thought to have been a lifelong Liberal?" ** Variants: ''Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.<br> Show me a young conservative and I'll show you someone with no heart. Show me an old liberal and I'll show you someone with no brains. <br> If you are not a socialist by the time you are 25, you have no heart. If you are still a socialist by the time you are 35, you have no head''. * '''The fascists of the future will be called anti-fascists.''' ** According to research<ref name=QuoteInvestigator>http://quoteinvestigator.com/2017/03/04/anti-fascism/</ref>, it has been attributed to Churchill since the 21st century. A similar variation has been attributed to [[Huey Long]] a year after he died, but it's unclear if he said it either.<ref name=Gizmodo>http://paleofuture.gizmodo.com/9-quotes-from-winston-churchill-that-are-totally-fake-1790585636</ref> ** Variants: ''The Fascists of the future will be the anti-fascists''. ** The Swiss author [[:w:François Bondy|François Bondy]] attributed a similar quote to [[Ignazio Silone]]: ''This reminded me of what Ignazio Silone said in 1945 soon after he returned to Italy from his Zurich exile: "The Fascism of tomorrow will never say 'I am Fascism.' It will say: 'I am anti-Fascism.'"''<ref>François Bondy (1976), "European Notebook", ''Encounter'', vol. 47, p. 51.</ref> Alternatively quoted as: ''When I met him in Geneva on the day of his scheduled return home after the long exile in Switzerland, Silone said abruptly: "If at a future moment fascism will return, it will not be so stupid as to say: 'I am fascism.' It will say: 'I am antifascism.'"''<ref>François Bondy (1979), "Ignazio Silone: In Memoriam", ''The Washington Quarterly'', vol. 2, issue 2.</ref> * There is nothing better for the inside of a man than the outside of a horse. ** According to ''The quote verifier: who said what, where, and when'' (2006), Keyes, Macmillan, p. 91 <small> {{ISBN|0312340044}} </small> , the cover of a trade magazine once credited this observation to Churchill, but it dates back well into the nineteenth century, and has been variously attributed to [[w:Henry Ward Beecher|Henry Ward Beecher]], [[w:Oliver Wendell Holmes|Oliver Wendell Holmes]], [[w:Theodore Roosevelt]], [[w:Thomas Jefferson]], [[w:Will Rogers]] and [[w:Henry John Temple, 3rd Viscount Palmerston|Lord Palmerston]], among others. One documented use in ''Social Silhouettes'' (1906) by George William Erskine Russell, p. 218 wherein a character attributes the saying to Lord Palmerston. * An empty taxi arrived and out of it stepped Attlee. ** A joke about [[w:Clement Attlee|Clement Attlee]] doing the rounds after [[w:World War II|World War II]], often wrongly attributed to Churchill. When he heard about that misattribution he said: *** Mr Attlee is an honourable and gallant gentleman, and a faithful colleague who served his country well at the time of her greatest need. I should be obliged if you would make it clear whenever an occasion arises that I would never make such a remark about him, and that I strongly disapprove of anybody who does. **** Churchill to [[w:Jock Colville|John Colville]] (quoted in [[Nigel Rees]], ''Sayings of the Century'' (1987), p. 106). * All this contains much that is obviously true, and much that is relevant; unfortunately, what is obviously true is not [[relevant]], and what is relevant is not obviously true. ** This is not by Churchill, but a paraphrase of Churchill quoting [[w:Arthur James Balfour|Arthur James Balfour]] in ''Great Contemporaries'' (1937):''' 'there were some things that were true, and some things that were trite; but what was true was trite, and what was not trite was not true' '''. {{cite web |url=https://www.mentalfloss.com/history/famous-quotes-everyone-misattributes |title=12 Famous Quotes Everyone Misattributes |first=Paul Anthony |last=Jones |date=2025-11-10 |accessdate=2025-11-14 |publisher={{w|Mental Floss}}}} * You make a living by what you get; you make a life by what you give. **Variant: ''We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.'' ** Extensive research of writings by and about Churchill at the [http://www.winstonchurchill.org Churchill Centre] fails to indicate that Churchill ever spoke or wrote those words. ***Some sites list [[w:Norman MacEwen|Norman MacEwen]] as the originator of the quote. * The further backward you look, the further forward you can see. ** In ''Churchill by Himself'' (2008), Appendix I: Red Herrings, ed. Langworth, PublicAffairs, p. 577 <small>{{ISBN|1586486381}}</small>; "Commonly ascribed to WSC, even by The Queen (Christmas Message, 1999). What Churchill actually said was 'The longer you can look back, the farther you can look forward'". ** The attribution of the mistaken form of the quote to Churchill dates from at least [https://books.google.com/books?id=QN3hAAAAMAAJ&dq=The+farther+backward+you+look%2C+the+further+forward+you+can+see&focus=searchwithinvolume&q=%22backward+you+can+look%22 1959]. * Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy, and the lash. **According to Churchill's assistant, Anthony Montague-Browne, Churchill had not coined this phrase, but wished he had. **Resembles an ironic aphorism cited by Langworth from the ''Oxford Dictionary of Quotations'' as 19th-century English naval tradition, "''Ashore it's wine, women and song; aboard it's rum, bum and concertina''" or variously "''... rum, bum and bacca'' [tobacco]".<ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.thisdayinquotes.com/2010/08/rum-sodomy-and-lash-winston-churchills.html|website=This Day in Quotes|author=Robert Deis|title=Churchill's alleged quip about British naval tradition}}</ref><ref>{{cite book|title=Churchill by Himself: The Definitive Collection of Quotations|author=Richard Langworth|isbn=1586489577|url=https://books.google.com/books/about/Churchill_by_Himself.html?id=vbsU21fEhLAC|page=577|quote=In dinner conversation ca. 1955, private secretary Anthony Montague Browne confronted WSC with this quotation. 'I never said it. I wish I had,' responded Churchill. (AMB to the editor.) 'Compare "Rum, bum, and bacca" and "Ashore it's wine women and song, aboard it's rum, bum and concertina", naval catchphrases dating from the nineteenth century' -- ''Oxford Dictionary of Quotations''}}</ref> *The heaviest cross I have to bear is the [[w:Cross of Lorraine|Cross of Lorraine]]. **This remark referring to [[w:Charles de Gaulle|Charles de Gaulle]] was actually made by General [[w:Louis Spears|Edward Louis Spears]], Churchill's personal representative to the Free French. **Film producer [[w:Alexander Korda|Alexander Korda]] asked Churchill in 1948 if he had made the remark, he replied *** No, I didn't say it; but I'm sorry I didn't, because it was quite witty ... and so true! **** Quoted in [[Nigel Rees]], '''Sayings of the Century''' p. 105. * People often forget that in 1940 there was no guarantee that we were going to win. ** This quote is actually from Churchill's daughter, Lady Soames. See [http://www.winstonchurchill.org/i4a/pages/index.cfm?pageid=135 "The Beacon of the Western Way of Life"] * Plans are of little importance, but planning is essential. ** This military aphorism has been attributed to both [[w:Helmuth von Moltke the Elder|von Moltke]] and [[w:Carl von Clausewitz|Clausewitz]], as well as Churchill. It was familiar to President and former Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces in Europe [[w:Dwight D. Eisenhower|Dwight D. Eisenhower]]: ''I tell this story to illustrate the truth of the statement I heard long ago in the Army:'' '''Plans are worthless, but planning is everything.''' ''There is a very great distinction because when you are planning for an emergency you must start with this one thing: the very definition of 'emergency' is that it is unexpected, therefore it is not going to happen the way you are planning.'' *** Speech to the National Defense Executive Reserve Conference in Washington, D.C. (November 14, 1957) ; from ''Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States, Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1957'', National Archives and Records Service, Government Printing Office, p. 818 : <small> {{ISBN|0160588510}}, 9780160588518 </small> * A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. ** This quote is commonly attributed to Churchill, but appears in the "Red Herrings: False Attributions" appendix of ''Churchill by Himself : The Definitive Collection of Quotations'' (2008) by Richard Langworth, without citation as to where it originates. ** In ''American Character'', a 1905 address by [[w:Brander Matthews|Brander Matthews]], a similar quotation is attributed to [[w:L. P. Jacks|L. P. Jacks]] ([http://hdl.handle.net/2027/mdp.39015059451156?urlappend=%3Bseq=238 link]). *** ""Our civilization is a perilous adventure for an uncertain prize... Human society is not a constructed thing but a human organization... We are adopting a false method of reform when we begin by operations that weaken society, either morally or materially, by lower its vitality, by plunging it into gloom and despair about itself, by inducing the atmosphere of the sick-room, and then when its courage and resources are at a low ebb, expecting it to perform some mighty feat of self-reformation... Social despair or bitterness does not get us anywhere... Low spirits are an intellectual luxury. An optimist is one who sees an opportunity in every difficulty. A pessimist is one who sees a difficulty in every opportunity... The conquest of great difficulties is the glory of human nature." L. P. Jacks, quoted in American character, by Brander Matthews, 1906 * You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. ** Often attributed to Churchill, this thought was originally expressed by the French author Victor Hugo in ''Villemain'' (1845), as follows: ''You have enemies? Why, it is the story of every man who has done a great deed or created a new idea. It is the cloud which thunders around everything that shines. Fame must have enemies, as light must have gnats. Do not bother yourself about it; disdain. Keep your mind serene as you keep your life clear.'' {{cite web |url=https://www.mentalfloss.com/history/famous-quotes-everyone-misattributes |title=12 Famous Quotes Everyone Misattributes |first=Paul Anthony |last=Jones |date=2025-11-10 |accessdate=2025-11-14 |publisher={{w|Mental Floss}}}} *** ''Villemain'' is a brief segment taken from Hugo's ''Choses Vues (Things Seen)'', a running journal Hugo kept of events he witnessed. The original French versions of these journals were published after Hugo's death. * I only believe in statistics that I doctored myself. ** This slanderous remark was attributed to Churchill, and there is a theory circulating that Nazi propaganda minister [[Joseph Goebbels]] invented it to depict Churchill as a liar. ** However, this is most likely false, as variants of this quote in German first surfaced in 1946 without being attributed to Churchill. It wasn't until 1980 that the quote was attributed to Churchill in German for the first time.<ref>https://falschzitate.blogspot.com/2017/09/ich-traue-keiner-statistik-die-ich.html</ref> ** In German: »Ich glaube nur der Statistik, die ich selbst gefälscht habe« * A joke is a very serious thing. ** Sometimes attributed to Winston Churchill, it is in fact a slight misquote of "A joke's a very serious thing" from the 1763 poem "The Ghost" by [[Charles Churchill (satirist)|Charles Churchill]]. * The idea that a nation can tax itself into prosperity is one of the cruelest delusions which has befuddled the human mind. ** A misquotation by [[Ronald Reagan]] in a 9 March 1982 speech, reported in Paul F. Boller, Jr., and John George, ''They Never Said It: A Book of Fake Quotes, Misquotes, & Misleading Attributions'' (1989), p. 13-14. In fact, Churchill used a very similar line ("To think you can make a man richer by putting on a tax is like a man think­ing that he can stand in a bucket and lift him­self up by the han­dle.") several times beginning with a speech at Free Trade Hall, Man­ches­ter, 19 Feb­ru­ary 1904. * '''Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.''' ** Attributed to Winston Churchill in ''The Prodigal Project : Book I : Genesis'' (2003) by Ken Abraham and Daniel Hart, p. 224 and other places, though no source attribution is given. It actually derives from an advertising campaign for Budweiser beer in the late 1930s.<ref>http://quoteinvestigator.com/2013/09/03/success-final/</ref> * ''Lady Nancy Astor'': If I were your wife I'd put poison in your coffee.<br>''Churchill'': If I were your husband I'd drink it. ** Dates to 1899, American humor origin, originally featuring a woman upset by a man's cigar smoking. Cigar often removed in later versions, coffee added in 1900. Incorrectly attributed in Consuelo Vanderbilt Balsan, ''Glitter and Gold'' (1952). ** See various early citations and references to refutations at [http://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/new_york_city/entry/if_you_were_my_husband_id_poison_your_coffee_nancy_astor_to_churchill "If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee" (Nancy Astor to Churchill?)], Barry Popik, ''The Big Apple,'' February 9, 2009 ** Early examples include 19 November 1899, Gazette-Telegraph (CO), "Tales of the Town," p. 7, and early attributions are to American humorists Marshall P. Wilder and De Wolf Hopper. ** ''Churchill by Himself: The Definitive Collection of Quotations,'' by Richard Langworth, PublicAffairs, 2008, p. 578. ** ''The Yale Book of Quotations,'' edited by Fred R. Shapiro, New Haven, Connecticut, Yale University Press, 2006, p. 155. ** George Thayer, ''The Washington Post'' (April 27, 1971), p. B6. * ''George Bernard Shaw is said to have told W.S.C.:''<br>Am reserving two tickets for you for my premiere. Come and bring a friend—if you have one.<br>''W.S.C. to G.B.S.:''<br>Impossible to be present for the first performance. Will attend the second—if there is one. ** (Version given in ''Irrepressible Churchill: A Treasury of Winston Churchill's Wit'' by Kay Halle, 1966) ** Apocryphal, originally featured [[Noël Coward]] and {{w|Randolph Churchill}} (Winston's son); attested 1946 (columnist [[Walter Winchell]], attributed to anonymous United Press journalist in London). Originally only featured first half about lack of friend; second half (retort about lack of second performance) attested 1948, as was replacement of personages by [[George Bernard Shaw]] and Winston Churchill. Specific plays added in later variants, ranging from ''Man and Superman'' (1903) to ''Saint Joan'' (1923), and appeared in biographies and quote collections from the 1960s. ** The quote is presumably apocryphal due to earliest attestations being too different, less famous personages (easily replaced by more famous ones), the quotation becoming more elaborate in later versions, the 20+ year gap between putative utterance and first attestation, and the approximately 50 year gap between putative utterance and appearance in reference works, all as undocumented hearsay. ** Detailed discussion at "[http://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/03/25/two-tickets-shaw/ Here are Two Tickets for the Opening of My Play. Bring a Friend—If You Have One]", Garson O'Toole, ''[http://quoteinvestigator.com/ Quote Investigator],'' March 25, 2012. * '''If you're going through hell, keep going.''' ** True origin unknown. Finest Hour described it as "not verifiable in any of the 50 million published words by and about him" ([https://www.winstonchurchill.org/images/finesthour/vol.01%20no.145.pdf Finest Hour, The Journal of Winston Churchill, Number 145, Winter 2009–10, p. 9]). A similar quotation: "If you're going through hell, don't stop!" is "plausibly attributed" to Oregon self-help author and counselor Douglas Bloch (1990), according to Quote Investigator.<ref>http://quoteinvestigator.com/2014/09/14/keep-going/</ref> * '''Americans Will Always Do the Right Thing — After Exhausting All the Alternatives.''' ** This is a modification of a March 1967 quote by Israeli politician Abba Eban who said, "Men and nations behave wisely when they have exhausted all other resources." Eban used various versions of this quote over the years. In 1979 he said, "My experience teaches me this: Men and nations do act wisely when they have exhausted all the other possibilities."[http://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/11/11/exhaust-alternatives/] **In a 1970 Congressional hearing, a version of the quote first referenced Americans. It was attributed to an unnamed Irishman. "And indeed, we often know how to do things by the philosophy that was expounded by another Irishman I know. He said that you can depend on Americans to do the right thing when they have exhausted every other possibility."[http://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/11/11/exhaust-alternatives/] **The earliest known attribution of the quote to Churchill occurred in 1980.[http://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/11/11/exhaust-alternatives/] *'''Gentlemen, We Have Run Out Of Money; Now We Have to Think''' **This quote, or a minor variation of it ("Gentlemen, we have run out of money. It is time to start thinking.") is also attributed to (Sir) [[Ernest Rutherford]] (1871-1937), the famed New Zealand chemist and physicist. [http://www.nationaldefensemagazine.org/archive/2011/November/Pages/%E2%80%98Gentlemen,WeHaveRunOutOfMoney;NowWeHavetoThink%E2%80%99.aspx] *'''Diplomacy is the art of telling people to go to hell in such a way that they ask for directions''' **This appears to be a variation of a quote often attributed to Caskie Stinnett in 1960, "A diplomat...is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip" [https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=kcycAQAAQBAJ&pg=PA90&dq=%22A+diplomat+is+a+person+who+can+tell+you+to+go+to+hell+in+such+a+way+that+you+actually+look+forward+to+the+trip.%22 ] but which appears to have been in common use in the 1950s and is first recorded in the Seattle ''Daily Times'' in 1953 as "Diplomat—one who can tell you to go to hades and make you look forward to the trip".[http://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/new_york_city/entry/a_diplomat_is_a_person_who_can_tell_you_to_go_to_hell_so_that_you_look_forw/] *'''The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter''' ** Attribution debunked in Langworth's ''Churchill by Himself''.<ref>[https://books.google.com/books?id=vbsU21fEhLAC&q=average+voter#v=snippet&q=average%20voter&f=false Google books link]</ref> First known appearance is in a [https://web.archive.org/web/20201127185542/https://groups.google.com/forum/message/raw?msg=rec.arts.comics.misc/EMj3ZowKq1U/E0dsEBwdZEgJ 1992 usenet post]. *'''Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm''' ** Attribution debunked in Langworth's ''Churchill by Himself''. The earliest close match located by the Quote Investigator is from the 1953 book ''How to Say a Few Words'' by David Guy Powers.<ref>1953, How to Say a Few Words by David Guy Powers, Quote p. 109, Doubleday & Company, Garden City, New York. Referenced by [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2014/06/28/success Quote Investigator]</ref> *'''However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results''' ** Attribution debunked by Langworth.<ref>Published by Richard Langworth online: https://richardlangworth.com/quotes</ref> *Germany's unforgivable crime before WW2 was its attempt to loosen its economy out of the world trade system and to build up an own exchange system from which the world-finance couldn't profit anymore. **Earliest appearance in English was a 2001 foreword to a reprint of the 1938 book "Propaganda in the Next War". Sometimes it is claimed erroneously that the quote comes from a 1960 autobiography called "Winston Churchill - The Second World War" or that Churchill wrote it in a letter to Robert Boothby. **The quote seems to have spread first in German, then in English. In German, the quote appeared in right-wing extremist circles in the mid-90s, possibly for the first time in 1995 in the far-right weekly newspaper "Der Schlesier". **In German: »Das unverzeihliche Verbrechen Deutschlands vor dem Zweiten Weltkrieg war der Versuch, seine Wirtschaftskraft aus dem Welthandelssystem herauszulösen und ein eigenes Austauschsystem zu schaffen, bei dem die Weltfinanz nicht mehr mitverdienen konnte« *We have slaughtered the wrong pig. **This quote already circulated shortly after WW2. It is supposed to express Churchill's alleged opinion that it would have been better to defeat Stalin rather than Hitler.<ref>https://falschzitate.blogspot.com/2017/05/wir-haben-das-falsche-schwein.html</ref> **The International Churchill Society confirms that there is no record of Churchill saying or writing it and thus classifies it as a misattribution. Churchill never regretted fighting Hitler.<ref>https://winstonchurchill.org/publications/finest-hour/finest-hour-130/riddles-mysteries-enigmas-14/</ref> {{Misattributed end}} == Quotes about Churchill == :<small>Alphabetised by surname</small> [[File:Herbert Henry Asquith.jpg|thumb|I wish I knew as much about anything as that young man knows about everything. ~ [[H. H. Asquith|H.H. Asquith]]]] [[File:Bundesarchiv Bild 183-S55480, Polen, Parade vor Adolf Hitler.jpg|thumb|It must be a melancholy satisfaction to see how right you were... Let's hope it's not too late. ~ [[Clement Attlee]]]] [[File:Iron Curtain map.svg|thumb|Stalin immediately ordered construction work to begin on the Iron Curtain, which was given its name by Sir Winston Churchill, who, in a historic anecdote at a dinner party, said, "Madam, I may be drunk, but an iron curtain has descended upon BLEAAARRRGGGHHH." ~ [[Dave Barry]]]] [[File:911- President George W. Bush with Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, 09-20-2001. (6124228459).jpg|thumb|I decided to keep the [[w:Rembrandt_Peale|Rembrandt Peale]] portrait of [[George Washington]] that Dad and [[Bill Clinton]] had placed over the mantel. I added busts of [[Abraham Lincoln]], [[Dwight D. Eisenhower|Dwight Eisenhower]], and Winston Churchill- a gift on loan from the British government courtesy of Prime Minister [[Tony Blair]]. I had told Tony that I admired Churchill's courage, principle, and sense of humor- all of which I thought were necessary for leadership. ~ [[George W. Bush]]]] [[File:Fidel Castro, Havana, 1978 (9609361).jpg|thumb|Look, if Churchill hadn't done what he did to defeat the Nazis, you wouldn't be here, none of us would be here. What is more, we have to take a special interest in him because he, too, led a little island against a great enemy. ~ [[Fidel Castro]]]] [[File:Spitfire P7350 (front) flies alongside Hurricane LF363 (back).jpg|thumb|You had Mr. Churchill on the radio explaining that we'd never surrender, and above you had the [[w:Supermarine_Spitfire|Spitfire]], and you couldn't help thinking: Yes, we can win this thing. ~ [[Jeremy Clarkson]]]] [[File:V-E-Day Stars and Stripes No 285 Paris 8 May 1945.JPG|thumb|All my thoughts are with you on this day which is so essentially your day. It is you who have led, uplifted and inspired us through the worst days. Without you this day could not have been. ~ [[Anthony Eden]]]] [[File:וינסטון צ'רצ'יל-JNF012369.jpeg|thumb|Rarely were the needs of a nation and the chief quality of its leader better matched than in 1940. Nothing can ever take that from him. No one in his senses will ever try. ~ [[Michael Foot]]]] [[File:Never was so much owed by so many to so few.jpg|thumb|In the dark days and darker nights when England stood alone--and most men save Englishmen despaired of England's life--he mobilized the [[English language]] and sent it into battle. ~ [[John F. Kennedy]]]] [[File:President Roosevelt and Winston Churchill seated on the quarterdeck of HMS PRINCE OF WALES for a Sunday service during the Atlantic Conference, 10 August 1941. A4816.jpg|thumb|It is fun to be in the same decade with you. ~ [[Franklin D. Roosevelt]]]] [[File:KG badge.jpg|thumb|Remember him, for he saved all of you. ~ C.L. Sulzberger]] [[File:Josip Broz Tito uniform portrait.jpg|thumb|He is a great man. He is, of course, our enemy and has always been the enemy of Communism, but he is an enemy one must respect, an enemy one likes to have. ~ [[Tito]]]] === A–L === *Having...announced his "Four Years Plan", Churchill was sincere enough in his commitment to social reform. If a Churchill Government had been elected in [[w:1945 United Kingdom general election|1945]] some form of [[National Health Service]] would have been introduced, along with comprehensive [[w:Social insurance|social insurance]] and policies to maintain [[w:Full employment|full employment]]. **[[w:Paul Addison|Paul Addison]], ''Churchill On The Home Front, 1900–1955'' (1992), p. 438 *Churchill's general conception of [[History of the United Kingdom|British history]] was also, in a sense, commonplace. It was a romantic [[w:Whig history|Whig history]]: the story of the growth of liberty and representative institutions at home, in parallel with the rise of Britain as a great power overseas. The [[Glorious Revolution]] of 1688 and the [[w:Reform Act 1832|Great Reform Act]] of 1832 were accompanied by [[w:Battle of Blenheim|Blenheim]], [[w:Battle of Trafalgar|Trafalgar]] and [[w:Battle of Waterloo|Waterloo]]. It was a story, besides, of great men: great parliamentarians like [[w:John_Hampden|Hampden]] or [[William Pitt the Younger|Pitt]], and great commanders like [[Oliver Cromwell|Cromwell]] or [[Horatio Nelson|Nelson]]. But this was the point at which the national myth of Whig history merged into the family myth of Winston Churchill. Among the great men of history were Churchill's father, [[Lord Randolph Churchill|Lord Randolph]], and his ancestor, [[John Churchill, 1st Duke of Marlborough|John Churchill, the first duke of Marlborough]]. It was they who provided the link between Churchill's conceptions of British history, and his sense of personal destiny. The Glorious Revolution, and the rise of Britain as a great power, were exemplified for Churchill by the career of Marlborough. The rise of parliamentary democracy was exemplified by the career of Lord Randolph. Churchill came to see his own life as a re-enactment and continuation of theirs. **[[w:Paul Addison|Paul Addison]], 'Destiny, history and providence: the religion of Winston Churchill', in Michael Bentley (ed.), ''Public and Private Doctrine: Essays in British History presented to Maurice Cowling'' (1993), pp. 242-243 *Political pundits have a saying that a great leader needs three things: brains, heart, and guts, or its modern variant, balls. Churchill, for example, had all three. Now start doing your own sums: [[FDR]] surely had all three; [[Nixon]] had brains and guts, but not much heart. [[Ronald Reagan|Reagan]] had a good facsimile of a heart, but not much of a brain... **[[Margaret Atwood]], "The Echo Maker" (2006), collected in ''Burning Questions'' *I can say here and now, with no hesitation whatever, that if it had not been for him this nation would not have survived the year 1940, and would not have steeled itself to meet its tasks in the years afterwards. **[[w:Alan Brooke, 1st Viscount Alanbrooke|Lord Alanbrooke]], speech in London (5 February 1957), quoted in 'Lord Alanbrooke On His War Diaries', ''The Times'' (6 February 1957), p. 4 *[T]he splendid leadership he gave this country and the Commonwealth from the moment he became Prime Minister in the Second World War—a leadership which not only saved the freedom and genius of Europe's most civilised peoples from eclipse, but also carried Britain triumphant with no more than a third of her former sacrifice of life through a Second World War half as long again as the First... Not one, in fact, of the great Englishmen who have possessed the priceless combination of political and military sense...has surpassed Churchill in the distinctive genius for statesmanship in peace and war on which the greatness of this little island has been built, namely, an infallible instinct for the [[w:Balance of power (international relations)|balance of power]] indispensable to its security, alertness to any threatened disturbance of that balance however far ahead, and imaginative resource, when the balance has been disturbed, in righting it by the most effective and economical use of our always inadequate strength. It is due, I repeat, to this, the dominant element in his genius, that Western Europe is not at this moment a dependency of either Nazi Germany or Soviet Russia. **[[w:Edward Grigg, 1st Baron Altrincham|Lord Altrincham]], 'Churchill in International Affairs', Charles Eade (ed.), ''Churchill By His Contemporaries'' (1953), p. 182 *[The War] at once raised issues which transcended all party divisions and, obliterating all the questions of the passing hour, linked up the England of to-day with the England that fought the [[w:Spanish Armada|Spanish Armada]], that humbled [[Louis XIV]] and wore down [[Napoleon]]. In that new, that eternal England, he by natural right came into his own. '''He is to-day the spirit of old England incarnate, with its unshakeable self-confidence, its grim gaiety, its unfailing sense of humour, its underlying moral earnestness, its unflinching tenacity.''' Against that inner unity of spirit between leader and nation the ill-cemented moral fabric of Hitler's perversion of the German soul must be shattered in the end. **[[w:Leo Amery|Leo Amery]], BBC broadcast (29 November 1941), quoted in ''The Times'' (1 December 1941), p. 2 *We have at this moment a much better atmosphere, in which there is far less industrial tension than there was sometime back... I hold no brief for the present Minister of Munitions [Winston Churchill]. I believe he has his personal and political detractors—I am not concerned with them one way or the other—but in my opinion he has brought courage and a certain quality of imagination to the task of dealing with labour questions since he became Minister of Munitions. Because of that, the situation has perceptibly improved, and I hope he will go on in the same direction. **[[w:William Anderson (British politician)|William Anderson]], speech in the House of Commons (6 November 1917), quoted in David Lloyd George, ''War Memoirs, Volume II'' (1938), p. 1160 * The world depends on the United States to shape history. No person recognized this fact better than Winston Churchill, whose nation depended on American intervention in the [[World War II|Second World War]]. At the time, he wrote, "How heavily do the destinies of this generation hang upon the government and people of the United States... Will the United States throw their weight into the scales of peace and law and freedom while time remains, or will they remain spectators until the disaster has occurred; and then, with infinite cost and labor, build up what need not have been cast down?" ** Anonymous, ''A Warning'' (2019), p. 180 * '''I wish I knew as much about anything as that young man knows about everything.''' ** [[H. H. Asquith]], in response to Churchill's questioning him in the House of Commons (c.a. 1910) as quoted by [[Freeman Dyson]], ''The Scientist As Rebel'' (2006). ** Compare the remark attributed (1870) to the Marquis of Landsdowne after reading Thomas Macaulay's ''History of England'': "I wish I could be as certain about anything as Tom Macaulay is about everything".<ref>[https://books.google.com/books?id=sgEDAAAAQAAJ&pg=PR14&dq=%22about+anything+as%22+%22about+everything%22&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0CB0Q6AEwAGoVChMI1tKfwcX8yAIVF9tjCh0h2wK4#v=snippet&q=Marquis&f=false link]</ref> *'''It must be a melancholy [[satisfaction]] to see how right you were... Let's hope it's not too late.''' **[[Clement Attlee]] to Churchill after reading his book ''Step by Step, 1936-1939'' (1 July 1939), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1979), p. 1078 *You may have the best machinery in the world, you may have adequate supplies of munitions, you may have the men, you may have the generals; but wars are fought out eventually always as contests of will, and there are needed in the responsible positions men who are prepared to give decisions, who are not afraid to take risks, men of inflexible will-power. In all these respects, I say, from very close working with him for the last two years, that we have in the Prime Minister a leader in war such as this country has rarely had in its long history. **[[Clement Attlee]], [https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1942/may/19/war-situation#column_67 speech] in the House of Commons (19 May 1942) *One of these days I'll make a few casual remarks about Winston. Not a speech—no oratory—just a few words in passing. I've got it all ready. I am going to say that when Winston was born lots of fairies swooped down on his cradle gifts—imagination, eloquence, industry, ability, and then came a fairy who said "No one person has a right to so many gifts", picked him up and gave him such a shake and twist that with all these gifts he was denied judgment and wisdom. And that is why while we delight to listen to him in this House, we do not take his advice. **[[Stanley Baldwin]] in conversation with [[w:Thomas Jones (civil servant)|Thomas Jones]] (22 May 1936), quoted in Thomas Jones, ''A Diary with Letters. 1931-1950'' (1954), p. 204 * [[Joseph Stalin|Stalin]]'s strategy at the end of World War II was to acquire a small "buffer zone between Russia and Germany, consisting of [[Estonia]], [[Latvia]], [[Lithuania]], [[Poland]], [[w:Czechoslovakia|Czechoslovakia]], [[Hungary]], [[Romania]], [[Bulgaria]], [[Yugoslavia]], [[Albania]], and [[East Germany|most of Germany]]. In an effort to garner public support in these nations, Stalin mounted a [[Public relations|public-relations]] campaign around the upbeat theme "Maybe We Won't Have Your Whole Family Shot," and in 1945 [[Eastern Europe]] decided to join the [[w:Eastern_Bloc|Communist bloc]] by a vote of 28,932,084,164,504,029-0. Heartened by this mandate, Stalin immediately ordered construction work to begin on the [[w:Iron_Curtain|Iron Curtain]], which was given its name by Sir Winston Churchill, who, in a historic anecdote at a dinner party, said, "Madam, I may be drunk, but an iron curtain has descended upon BLEAAARRRGGGHHH." ** [[Dave Barry]], ''Dave Barry Slept Here: A Sort-Of History of the United States'' (1989), p. 126 *The government took the threat of [[Unidentified flying object|UFOs]] so seriously in the 1950s that UK [[Espionage|intelligence]] chiefs met to discuss the issue, newly-released files show...he papers also include a wartime account claiming prime minister Winston Churchill ordered a UFO sighting be kept secret to prevent "mass panic"... the latest batch of UFO files released from the Ministry of Defence to the National Archives shows that, in 1957, the committee received reports detailing an average of one UFO sighting a week... The files also include an account of a wartime meeting attended by Winston Churchill in which, it is claimed, the prime minister was so concerned about a reported encounter between a UFO and RAF bombers, that he ordered it be kept secret for at least 50 years to prevent "mass panic". [[w:Nick_Pope|Nick Pope]], who used to investigate UFO sightings for the MoD, said: "The interesting thing is that most of the UFO files from that period have been destroyed... But what happened is that a scientist whose grandfather was one of his [Churchill's] bodyguards, said look, Churchill and [[Dwight D. Eisenhower|Eisenhower]] got together to cover up this phenomenal UFO sighting, that was witnessed by an RAF crew on their way back from a bombing raid...The reason apparently was because Churchill believed it would cause mass panic and it would shatter people's religious views. **[https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-10853905 ''BBC'' Churchill ordered UFO cover-up, National Archives show] (5 August 2010) *Right away Churchill jumped up and said: Our entire tragedy is that we have a weak government. The Baldwins are idiots, totally lacking in talent, etc. If England is to be dependent on them, she is lost. They are concerned only with deposing and crowning kings, while Germany is arming and growing stronger, and we are slipping lower and lower. But this situation will not last long. England will wake up and defeat Mussolini and Hitler, and then your hour will also come. **[[David Ben-Gurion]]'s diary entry after meeting Churchill (9 June 1937), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1979), pp. 848-849 *[O]ne of the greatest Englishmen of our time. **[[Tony Benn]], diary (24 January 1965), quoted in ''The Benn Diaries, 1940–1990'' (1996), p. 123 *[Winston Churchill] does not talk the language of the 20th century but that of the 18th. He is still fighting Blenheim all over again. His only answer to a difficult situation is send a gun-boat. ** [[Aneurin Bevan]], Speech at Labour Party Conference, Scarborough, 2 October 1951, in 'Daily Herald' 3 October 1951 *[[David Lloyd George|Lloyd George]] was a bigger man than Churchill, and one of the biggest things about Churchill was that he knew it. **[[Aneurin Bevan]], quoted in [[Michael Foot]], 'David Lloyd George', ''Loyalists and Loners'' (1986), p. 141 *He stands out from his contemporaries as a great and resplendent figure with none to rival him in his many-sidedness... The [[Historian|historians]] will speak of him as one of the greatest of parliamentarians...they will speak of him as the statesman to whom the whole world looked for guidance when the very skies seemed about to fall; they will recount his mastery of the written and the spoken word; they will discuss every element in his many-sidedness; and the great figure who has dominated our age will take his destined place in the long and noble line of those who...have been clothed with a kind of immortality... Winston Churchill, it may be confidently said, will never be forgotten. He will be remembered beyond all other things as the man who rallied the forces of freedom all over the world when it was confronted by a "monstrous tyranny never surpassed in the dark, lamentable catalogue of human crime". **[[w:Norman Birkett, 1st Baron Birkett|Norman Birkett]], 'Churchill the Orator', Charles Eade (ed.), ''Churchill By His Contemporaries'' (1953), pp. 223–224 *Many of his speeches will live as examples of human speech at its highest and best, and they will be woven into the fabric of our own history and the history of the world. For many of these speeches made history before our very eyes. They changed the shape of events. They proclaimed the greatness of our past and the nature of our great traditions. They shed a clear light upon the path of duty, and they implanted in ordinary men and women the resolve to make the day of danger their finest hour. They appealed to the noblest and deepest feelings of mankind when discouragement and despair besieged their hearts, and brought triumph out of the jaws of defeat; and many of those speeches will remain a great possession for all time of the country whose interests they preserved and maintained. They will also remain as an undying memorial to the man who made them and became the greatest figure of his age. **[[w:Norman Birkett, 1st Baron Birkett|Norman Birkett]], 'Churchill the Orator', Charles Eade (ed.), ''Churchill By His Contemporaries'' (1953), p. 233 *Among the many memorable things Churchill said was this: Talking of [[Madan Lal Dhingra|Dingra]], he said that there had been much discussion in the Cabinet about him. [[David Lloyd George|Lloyd George]] had expressed to him his highest admiration of Dingra's attitude as a patriot, in which he (Churchill) shared. He will be remembered 2,000 years hence, as we remember [[w:Marcus Atilius Regulus (consul 267 BC)|Regulus]] and [[Caratacus|Caractacus]] and [[Plutarch]]'s heroes, and Churchill quoted with admiration Dingra's last words as the finest ever made in the name of [[patriotism]]. **[[Wilfrid Scawen Blunt]], diary entry (3 October 1909), quoted in Wilfrid Scawen Blunt, ''My Diaries: Being a Personal Narrative of Events, 1888–1914. Part Two: 1900 to 1914'' (1920), p. 288 * Every man who's had to command troops in combat has had to look at the big picture. When [[Harry S. Truman|Harry Truman]] made [[Atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki|the decision to drop atomic bombs on Japan]], he didn't do that assuming he wasn't going to be criticized for it. He was looking at ending the war and saving a million American lives. He provided vision for the nation in spite of the fact that many criticized him then and even more do now. And what about Winston Churchill? He [[w:Coventry_Blitz|let the Germans bomb the British city of Coventry]] to protect the fact that the Allies had broken [[w:Enigma_code|the Germans' code]]. He allowed the Germans to bomb Coventry because he was looking strategically at ending the war. And he knew if he let it be known that he was reading the Germans' mail, they would immediately change their code. That's thinking strategically versus at the tactical situation. I think everybody who's ever commanded troops has had to look at circumstances strategically. And that amounts to having vision. ** [[William G. Boykin]], ''Man to Man: Rediscovering Masculinity in a Challenging World'' (2020), p. 29 *[F]rom the prisoner's point of view—I am speaking from the prisoner's point of view today—when the Prime Minister [Winston Churchill] was [[w:Home_Secretary|Home Secretary]] he did more for the prisoners than any Home Secretary we have had in the last 50 years. The speech to which my hon. Friend referred was made when the Prime Minister was Home Secretary in the Liberal Government before the First World War. Anyone who has experienced prison conditions knows that the reforms which the right hon. Gentleman introduced in that period...made more difference to the conditions in prisons than any reforms which have been introduced by other Home Secretaries. **Labour MP [[w:Fenner Brockway|Fenner Brockway]], [https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1954/feb/05/prisons-overcrowding#column_741 speech] in the House of Commons (5 February 1954) * Meetings between Roosevelt and the JCS were impromptu and usually convened to deal with a specific problem. The President would decide who would attend, presumably those whom he wanted for advice. The record shows that King was in the White House some thirty-two times during 1942, although there may have been other meetings that were not on the President's appointment calendar. The scheduled appointments then diminished for the remainder of the war: eight in 1943, nine in 1944, and one in 1945. In contrast, Churchill met with the British Chiefs of Staff almost daily. ** Thomas B. Buell, ''Master of Sea Power: A Biography of Fleet Admiral Ernest J. King'' (1980), p. 242 * In the late 1930s, as Britain refused to adapt to the new realities of war, Winston Churchill observed, "The era of procrastination, of half-measures, of soothing and baffling expedients, of delays, is coming to a close. In its place we are entering a period of consequences." ** [[George W. Bush]], in his speech "A Period of Consequences" at The Citadel, the Military College of South Carolina, on September 23, 1999 * '''I decided to keep the [[w:Rembrandt_Peale|Rembrandt Peale]] portrait of [[George Washington]] that [[George H. W. Bush|Dad]] and [[Bill Clinton]] had placed over the mantel. I added busts of [[Abraham Lincoln]], [[Dwight D. Eisenhower|Dwight Eisenhower]], and Winston Churchill- a gift on loan from the [[Government of the United Kingdom|British government]] courtesy of Prime Minister [[Tony Blair]]. I had told Tony that I admired Churchill's [[courage]], [[Principles|principle]], and sense of [[humor]]- all of which I thought were necessary for leadership.''' ** [[George W. Bush]], ''Decision Points'' (2010), p. 108 *[I]t does seem true, almost a truism, that Churchill's famous phrases – 'blood, sweat, toil and tears', 'their finest hour', 'we shall never surrender' – did express something inarticulate, perhaps dormant but perhaps not, in the hearts and minds of his countrymen, of most classes. They achieved their effect by a heroic yet very simple expression of the will to resist ('we shall fight them in the hills') and by invoking the naïve sense of nationhood and history which most of his literate subjects shared with him... Churchill clearly achieved and retained a popularity far greater than – because different in kind from – that of any peacetime leader... He radiated his courage over the microphone as successfully as he pumped blood into the sclerotic arteries of the House of Commons... And, whatever their private opinions, all classes were clear that there nowhere was, nor ever had been, anyone quite like this man they were cheering. Such singularity, in such a high position, could only amount to greatness. **[[w:Angus Calder|Angus Calder]], ''The People's War: Britain, 1939–45'' (1969), pp. 96–98 *The men were thrilled to see him. I've never seen such enthusiasm. It's not surprising—he has such presence—such personality—also the man in the street realizes that he has been right in everything he has said since 1933. Those in high places say he's finished—I don't believe it. He has a following in the country far bigger than those in Westminster think. **[[w:Ronald Cartland|Ronald Cartland]] to his sister [[Barbara Cartland]] after visiting the Austin aeroplane factory with Churchill (spring 1938), quoted in Neville Thompson, ''The Anti-Appeasers'' (1971), p. 171 and Paul Addison, ''The Road to 1945'' (1994), p. 77 * '''Look, if Churchill hadn't done what he did to defeat the Nazis, you wouldn't be here, none of us would be here. What is more, we have to take a special interest in him because he, too, led a little island against a great enemy.''' **[[Fidel Castro]]'s answer to a student who objected to Castro calling Churchill "a tremendous man" because he was a colonialist, during his visit to a Havana bookshop (13 February 1964), quoted in 'Castro Expounds in Bookshop Visit; Premier Outlines Hopes to University Students', ''The New York Times'' (14 February 1964) *The Prime Minister made an important and moving statement. I sat behind him...and he was eloquent, and oratorical, and used magnificent English; several Labour Members cried. He hinted that we might be obliged to fight alone, without France, and that England might well be invaded. **Conservative MP [[w:Henry Channon|Henry Channon]]'s diary entry after Churchill's "We shall never surrender" speech (4 June 1940), quoted in Robert Rhodes James (ed.), ''Chips: The Diaries of Sir Henry Channon'' (1967), p. 256 *There are two ways of winning an examination, one creditable and the other the reverse. You have unfortunately chosen the latter method, and appear to be much pleased with your success.{{Pb}}The first extremely discreditable failure of your performance was missing the infantry, for in that failure is demonstrated beyond refutation your slovenly happy-go-lucky harum scarum style of work for which you have been distinguished at your different schools.{{Pb}}Never have I received a really good report of your conduct in your work from any master or tutor … Always behind hand, never advancing in your class, incessant complaints of total want of application…{{Pb}}With all the advantages you had, with all the abilities which you foolishly think yourself to possess … this is the grand result that you come up among the second rate and third rate who are only good for commissions in a cavalry regiment … You imposed on me an extra charge of some £200 a year.{{Pb}}Do not think that I am going to take the trouble of writing you long letters after every failure and folly you commit and undergo … because I no longer attach the slightest weight to anything you may say about your own accomplishments and exploits.{{Pb}}Make this position indelibly impressed on your mind, that if your conduct and action is similar to what it has been in the other establishments … then … my responsibility for you is over.{{Pb}}I shall leave you to depend on yourself giving you merely such assistance as may be necessary to permit of a respectable life.{{Pb}}Because I am certain that if you cannot prevent yourself from leading the idle useless unprofitable life that you have had during your schooldays and latter months, you will become a mere social wastrel, one of the hundreds of the public school failures, and you will degenerate into a shabby, unhappy and futile existence. If that is so you will have to bear all the blame for such misfortunes yourself.{{Pb}}You affectionate father, Randolph SC **[[Lord Randolph Churchill|Lord Randolph]], Churchill's father in an [https://www.historyhit.com/lord-randolph-churchills-astonishing-letter-to-his-son-about-being-a-failure/ 1893 letter to his son], after Winston failed his Sandhurst exam to get into the infantry. *Churchill's associations with [[C. P. Scott|Scott]]'s [[w:Manchester|Manchester]] was part of his education as a [[w:Liberal Party (UK)|Liberal]], and he emerged as not only an eloquent but also an effectual exponent of Scott's kind of [[w:Progressivism|progressivism]]... From his Manchester base Churchill became, almost at a bound, a [[w:Radicalism (historical)|Radical]] leader... When Churchill was beaten in the [[w:1908 Manchester North West by-election|Manchester North West by-election]], the ''[[The Guardian|Guardian]]'' mourned the party loss as less than the "irreparable" personal loss of "a rising and formative political force which we would gladly have kept for our special help and service". **[[w:Peter Clarke (historian)|Peter Clarke]], ''Lancashire and the New Liberalism'' (1971), pp. 189-190 *Churchill showed himself formidably equipped to fulfil a role which [[C. P. Scott|Scott]] had always known he could not himself: that of inspirational leader, leading, moreover, in the direction which Scott had mapped out. At its zenith their relationship represented the fusing of such complementary elements as made [[Progressivism|progressive]] achievements possible. Nothing could have pleased Scott more than that in May 1909 the fate of the [[w:People's Budget|Budget]] should impel Churchill to come to Manchester to tread out the corn in his best fashion. Here was the right issue and the right man to rally [[w:Lancashire|Lancashire]] to it; and here was Scott, proud to play host to him – surely their finest hour? And throughout 1909 Scott gave what help he could in ensuring that Churchill's important speeches received full-dress treatment in the ''[[w:The Guardian|Guardian]]''. **[[w:Peter Clarke (historian)|Peter Clarke]], ''Lancashire and the New Liberalism'' (1971), pp. 190-191 * '''You had Mr. Churchill on the [[radio]] explaining that we'd never surrender, and above you had the [[w:Supremarine_Spitfire|Spitfire]], and you couldn't help thinking: Yes, we can win this thing.''' **[[Jeremy Clarkson]], ''I Know You Got Soul'' (2004), p. 276 *The little band that Churchill called into his confidence included...myself... All of us were obsessed with the German peril and the nakedness of our country to meet it, and Winston was galvanic in collecting the latest information to place before us. I have vivid recollections of his prophetic warnings couched in such terms of urgency that none of us could fail to realise that here was a patriot who was prepared to stake everything in rousing his countrymen to action... I can see the great man now pacing the floor of my drawing room...delivering short pungent sentences such as, "at this moment all through Germany the factories are lit up, the clanging of hammers goes on all night, and the only answering British sound is the snoring of 'X'!" **[[w:Henry Page Croft, 1st Baron Croft|Lord Croft]], ''My Life of Strife'' (1948), p. 285 *Every day there are four or five columns in the ''[[The Guardian|Manchester Guardian]]'' consecrated to his honour. **[[George Curzon, 1st Marquess Curzon of Kedleston|Lord Curzon]], speech in Oldham, reported in ''The Manchester Guardian'' (22 December 1909), quoted in Peter Clarke, ''Lancashire and the New Liberalism'' (1971), p. 191 *He is much more attractive than the [[Anthony Eden|Edens]] and other gentlemanly wishy-washies. He is a real tough and at the moment talking our language. **Labour MP [[w:Hugh Dalton|Hugh Dalton]]'s diary entry (3 October 1938), quoted in Ben Pimlott, ''Hugh Dalton'' (1986), p. 259 *He was quite magnificent. The man, and the only man we have, for this hour... As we separated several of us went up and spoke to him. He had risen from the long table and was standing in front of the fireplace. I patted him on the back and said: 'Well done, Prime Minister! You ought to get that cartoon of [[w:David Low (cartoonist)|Low]], showing us all rolling up our sleeves and falling in behind you, and frame it and stick it up there'. He answered with a broad grin, 'Yes, that was a good one, wasn't it?' **[[w:Hugh Dalton|Hugh Dalton]]'s diary entry on Churchill's declaration that Britain would fight on (28 May 1940), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Finest Hour: Winston S. Churchill, 1939–1941'' (1983), pp. 419-420 * A [[British Army|British soldier]] once described Winston Spencer Churchill as "a pugnacious looking b[astard]." Others mistakenly regarded Churchill's plump figure as the affirmation of a jolly fat man. One historian has aptly described him as resembling a cherubic, jumbo-size baby with a cigar stuck in its mouth. There are hardly sufficient adjectives in the English language to describe the British wartime prime minister, but a descriptive (and contradictory) few will suffice. Churchill was brilliant, pampered, petulant, [[Romanticism|romantic]], [[Pragmatism|pragmatic]], [[Courage|courageous]], [[Egotism|egotistical]], [[Eccentricity|eccentric]], possessed of enormous [[perseverance]], opinionated beyond measure, and impossibly demanding; furthermore, he [[Alcoholism|drank too much]], suffered from [[depression]] (his "black dog"), "waddled rather than walked," and by ''any'' criterion ought to have been too old to carry the enormous burden of a prolonged war that threatened Britain's very existence. His mood swings were legion and ranged from tears to jokes- on occasion at one and the same time. [[Dwight D. Eisenhower|Eisenhower]] tells the tale of meetings during which "I've seen tears run over his chin." During one such encounter Eisenhower had just rejected as impossible something Churchill wanted done in [[Italy]]. "He painted a terrible picture if we didn't do it... He said, 'if that should happen I should have to go to [[George VI of the United Kingdom|His Majesty]] and lay down the mantle of my high office.' And here were tears running down. But within ten seconds he was telling a joke... The man could use pathos, humor, anecdote, history, anything to get his way." Warts and all, Winston Churchill nevertheless represented the indomitable spirit of a defiant nation under siege. His oratory was stirring, and like FDR's, it galvanized an entire nation. In 1939 when [[Edward Wood, 1st Earl of Halifax|Lord Halifax]] suggested that Britain make peace with Hitler, Churchill not only declined but instead vowed to rescue "mankind from the foulest and most soul-destroying tyranny which has ever darkened the stained pages of history." ** Carlo D'Este, ''Eisenhower: A Soldier's Life'' (2002), p. 328-329 * Winston Churchill was unlike anyone Eisenhower had ever met. Though he was a megalomaniac on a par with [[Douglas MacArthur|MacArthur]], Churchill elicited a wholly contrary response from Eisenhower, whose aversion to big egos was built on a lifetime of experience with such men. With Churchill, Eisenhower found himself up against a powerful personality- with a penchant for the dramatic gesture- in whom were combined politician, statesman, warlord, and frustrated soldier would much rather have been on the battlefield commanding troops: The latter he had in common with Eisenhower. ** Carlo D'Este, ''Eisenhower: A Soldier's Life'' (2002), p. * Winston Churchill, who worried about the "pan-Asian malaise" and the looming "shadow of [[Asia|Asiatic]] solidarity," was himself inordinately fond of the racial slurs that were guaranteed to alienate Asian peoples. His [[China|Chinese]] allies remained "little yellow men" to him, even as the same phrase became an everyday expression in discussions of the [[Japan during World War II|Japanese]] enemy. ** John W. Dower, ''War Without Mercy: Race & Power in the Pacific War'' (1986), p. 161-162 *'''All my thoughts are with you on this day which is so essentially your day. It is you who have led, uplifted and inspired us through the worst days. Without you this day could not have been.''' **[[Anthony Eden]]'s telegram to Churchill (8 May 1945), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Road to Victory: Winston S. Churchill, 1941-1945'' (1986), p. 1351 * A later call on [[Franklin D. Roosevelt|President Roosevelt]] and Prime Minister Churchill, a guest at the White House, was no more than an informal chat. It had no military significance, but it was the first time I ever had a personal talk with either of these two men. [[w:siege_of_Tobruk|Tobruk]], in the [[Africa|African]] [[desert]], had just fallen to the Germans and the whole Allied world was thrown into gloom. These two leaders, however, showed no signs of [[pessimism]]. It was gratifying to note that they were thinking of attack and victory, not of defense and defeat. ** [[Dwight D. Eisenhower]], ''Crusade in Europe'' (1948), p. 51 *An inspirational leader, he seemed to typify Britain's courage and perseverance in adversity and its conservatism in success... He was a great war leader and he is a great man. **[[Dwight D. Eisenhower]], 'Churchill as an Ally in War', Charles Eade (ed.), ''Churchill By His Contemporaries'' (1953), pp. 128–129 *His vitality, his brainpower, his endurance, his wit, his eloquence, his industry, his application were superabundant, superhuman. The first and last impression left by the Colosseum concerns its size. So with Churchill: the man was huge. Then, also, for the bulk of the British adult population, the moment which must stand out most proudly in their collective memory was 1940. More deliberately than at any other time in its history the nation united in a good cause... That ''was'' their finest hour. Churchill was the prime organiser, the voice, the symbol and the historian of those great days... His precise virtue then was that he ''represented'' his countrymen in that crisis better than at any other moment in his career. He exemplified, in word and deed – more, in every inflection and gesture – the untiring, resplendent courage which the hour demanded... '''Rarely were the needs of a nation and the chief quality of its leader better matched than in 1940. Nothing can ever take that from him. No one in his senses will ever try.''' **[[Michael Foot]], ''Loyalists and Loners'' (1986), pp. 168-169 *I have got a good recollection of Mr. Churchill when he was in the Colonial Office and somehow or other since then I have held the opinion that I can always rely on his sympathy and goodwill. **[[Mahatma Gandhi]] in conversation with [[w:G. D. Birla|G. D. Birla]], quoted in Birla's letter to Churchill (23 September 1935), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1979), p. 619 *He would often go into [[w:No man's land#World_War_I|no-man's-land]]. It was a nerve-wracking experience to go with him. He would call out in his loud, gruff voice—far too loud it seemed to us—"You go that way, I will go this... Come here, I have found a gap in the German wire. Come over here at once!" He was like a baby elephant out in no-man's-land at night. He never fell when a shell went off; he never ducked when a bullet went past with its loud crack. He used to say, after watching me duck: "It's no damn use ducking; the bullet has gone a long way past you by now." **[[w:Edmund Hakewill-Smith|Edmund Hakewill-Smith]], quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Winston S. Churchill: The Challenge of War, 1914–1916 (Volume III)'' (1971), p. 658 *[Churchill] said, "You were very rude to me, you know." I told him, "Yes, but you were rude too." Then, with just a hint of a smile, he looked up and said blandly, '''"Yes, but I ''am'' a great man."''' There was no answer to that. He knew, as I and the rest of the world knew, that he was right. **Roy Howells, in ''Churchill's Last Years'' (1966), p. 62 *As early as 1919, Churchill, then a cabinet minister in Lloyd George's government, foresaw the potential for German-Soviet collaboration. ** James C. Humes, ''Churchill: The Prophetic Statesman'', Regnery History, Washington DC, 2012, p. 136 *Winston Churchill famously claimed that of all human qualities, [[courage]] was the most esteemed, because it guaranteed all others. **[[Zeid Raad Al Hussein|Zeid Ra'ad Al Hussein]] in [https://www.economist.com/open-future/2018/08/30/grassroots-leaders-provide-the-best-hope-to-a-troubled-world ''Grassroots leaders provide the best hope to a troubled world, The Economist'',] (30 August 2018) *Unfortunately, as he quickly discovered, the governor had fallen prey to the hazard of “Churchillian Drift,” attributing an aphorism of unknown origin to Winston Churchill. ** [https://winstonchurchill.org/publications/churchill-bulletin/bulletin-122-aug-2018/churchillian-drift/ "Churchillian Drift", International Churchill Society, 2018] *Finally, a word about British objectives. They were, as Churchill defined them, much simpler: to survive at all costs, even if this meant relinquishing leadership of the [[United Kingdom–United States relations|Anglo-American coalition]] to [[Washington, D.C.|Washington]], even if it meant weakening the British empire, even if it also meant collaborating with the [[Soviet Union]], a regime the younger Churchill had hoped, in the aftermath of the [[Russian Revolution|Bolshevik Revolution]], to crush. The British would attempt to influence the Americans as much as possible—they aspired to the role of [[Ancient Greece|Greeks]], tutoring the new [[Roman Empire|Romans]]—but under no circumstances would they get at odds with the Americans. Stalin's expectation of an independent Britain, capable of resisting the [[United States]] and even going to war with it, would have seemed strange indeed to those who actually shaped British wartime and postwar grand strategy. **[[John Lewis Gaddis]], ''The Cold War: A New History'' (2006), pp. 17-18 * The one case in which I think I can see the finger of God in history, is Churchill's arrival at the premiership at that precise moment in 1940. ** [[w:Douglas Hogg, 1st Viscount Hailsham|Lord Hailsham]] quoted in [https://www.bonhams.com/magazine/11155 Key to Victory], ''Bonhams Magazine'' (Autumn 2012) *He ought to be the Minister of Supply if we are in for a crisis. His energy and fiery brain seem unimpaired with age. He is certainly not dismayed by our difficulties. He says that our rulers are now beginning to get frightened... He said that sometimes he couldn't sleep at night thinking of our dangers, how all this wonderful Empire which had been built up so slowly and so steadily might all be dissipated in a minute. He was just the stuff required in an emergency. The thing is to say when the emergency has arrived. **[[w:Edmund_Ironside,_1st_Baron_Ironside|General Ironside]]'s diary entry (6 December 1937), quoted in Colonel Roderick Macleod and Denis Kelly (eds.), ''Time Unguarded: The Ironside Diaries, 1937–1940'' (1962), p. 42 *I keep thinking of Winston Churchill down at Westerham, full of patriotism and ideas for saving the Empire. A man who knows that you must act to win. You cannot remain supine and allow yourself to be hit indefinitely. Winston must be chafing at the inaction. I keep thinking of him walking up and down the room. **[[w:Edmund Ironside, 1st Baron Ironside|General Ironside]]'s diary entry (27 July 1939), quoted in Colonel Roderick Macleod and Denis Kelly (eds.), ''Time Unguarded: The Ironside Diaries, 1937–1940'' (1962), p. 86 *In Winston Churchill we have a man capable of keeping up the courage of the people. Thank God for that. I know no one else amongst our political leaders who can do it. **[[w:Edmund Ironside, 1st Baron Ironside|General Ironside]]'s diary entry (18 August 1940), quoted in Colonel Roderick Macleod and Denis Kelly (eds.), ''Time Unguarded: The Ironside Diaries, 1937–1940'' (1962), p. 390 *[T]he upsurge of the national spirit was largely his own creation. The great qualities of the [[British people|British race]] had seemed almost dormant until he had aroused them. The people then saw themselves as he portrayed them. They put their trust in him. They were ready to do anything that he asked, make any sacrifice that he demanded, and follow wherever he led. **[[w:Hastings Ismay, 1st Baron Ismay|Hastings Ismay]], ''The Memoirs of General The Lord Ismay, K.G., P.C., G.C.B., C.H., D.S.O.'' (1960), p. 155 *To the occupied nations in Europe he was already the living symbol of resistance and hope. Only if Britain was victorious could they regain their [[freedom]], and they felt that if anyone could bring about that victory, it was Churchill. Travelling in [[Scandinavia]] and the [[w:Low_Countries|Low Countries]] after the war, this was the sort of thing that I heard on all sides: "You in England had no idea what Churchill meant to us. We used to sit in dark cellars with the [[Radio|wireless]] turned on as low as possible, and while one of our number patrolling the streets would keep a look out for the [[w:Gestapo|Gestapo]], we would strain our ears to catch his every word. His voice was the only ray of light in an otherwise completely dark and hopeless world." **[[Hastings Ismay]], ''The Memoirs of General The Lord Ismay, K.G., P.C., G.C.B., C.H., D.S.O.'' (1960), p. 156 * '''I now put Churchill, with all his idiosyncrasies, his indulgences, his occasional childishness, but also his genius, his tenacity and his persistent ability, right or wrong, successful or unsuccessful, to be larger than life, as the greatest human being ever to occupy 10 Downing Street.''' **[[Roy Jenkins]], ''Churchill'' (2001), p. 912 *He never over-claimed his part in 1940. [[Disaster]] had united rather than disrupted the people of Britain as he knew it would. Although as a nation we were alone, as individuals we were all in it together. He felt our temper exactly... But it was not to his eloquence, or even to his humour, alone that we responded; disaster had struck the scales from our eyes, and suddenly we saw the towering courage that had been Churchill's all his life. We all knew, in that instinctive way that tells true from false, that here was a man who would stand to the last; and in this confidence we could stand with him. **[[w:Reginald Victor Jones|Reginald Victor Jones]], ''Most Secret War'' (1979), pp. 152–153 * Unlike modern [[military]] operations, whose names are chosen for their public relations value, operations in [[World War II]] were christened on the governing principle that the name should give no hint of the objective. To this, Winston Churchill added a second requirement: operations should not be given boastful or frivolous monikers. As he told [[Hastings Ismay|Pug Ismay]], "Intelligent thought will already supply an unlimited number of well-sounding names that do not suggest the character of the operation or disparage it in any way and do not enable some widow or mother to say that her son was killed in an operation called 'BUNNYHUG' or 'BALLYHOO'. ** Johnathan W. Jordan, in his book ''American Warlords: How Roosevelt's High Command Led America To Victory In World War II'' (2016), p. 475. * I know I speak for all Americans, your fellow citizens, in extending warmest congratulations and affectionate best wishes on your 90th birthday. As you celebrate this milestone in a full and eventful life we remember with gratitude, and future generations will continue to do so, your magnificent eloquence, your unfailing courage and your great service to the cause of freedom and human dignity. ** [[Lyndon B. Johnson]]; [https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/node/241494 Message Greeting Sir Winston Churchill on the Occasion of His 90th Birthday Online], The American Presidency Project; 26 October 1964 *Perhaps if the British people could speak, they would ask for peace. But since the official voice of England asks not for peace but for destruction, it is destruction we must provide. ** [[William Joyce]], telling to the listeners in 1939, that "England is ripe for invasion", and England expects the United States for help, in speech, Joyce criticized Churchill. ''Real-Time Diplomacy: Politics and Power in the Social Media Era'', p. 113. * '''In the dark days and darker nights when England stood alone—and most men save Englishmen despaired of England's life—he mobilized the [[English language]] and sent it into battle.''' ** [[John F. Kennedy]], 35th President of the United States, made this remark as he signed a proclamation conferring honorary status as a United States citizen upon Winston Churchill, on April 9, 1963. Churchill is one of only eight people to be made an honorary citizen of the United States of America, and the first to receive it in history. * One day during the conference King lunched alone with Mr. Churchill and enjoyed the opportunity for an extended conversation. So convincingly did the Prime Minister speak that King, as he remarked afterward, kept his hand on his watch. Had this cherished personal belonging been asked of him, he might not have known how to refuse it! Although King was not in accord with the suggestions of operations in the [[w:Eastern_Mediterranean|eastern Mediterranean]] and an attack on the soft underbelly of Europe, he was in hearty agreement with Mr. Churchill's desire to clear the enemy out of North Africa so that Allied shipping might freely use the Mediterranean and avoid the long voyage around the Cape of Good Hope. ** [[Ernest King|Ernest J. King]] and [[w:Walter_Whitehill|Walter M. Whitehill]], referring to the Casablanca Conference of January 1943, in ''Fleet Admiral King: A Naval Record'' (1952), p. 425 * In King's view, there could have been no finer comrades-in-arms for the President and the Joint Chiefs of Staff than the Prime Minister and the British Chiefs of Staff. King both respected and enjoyed Mr. Churchill. The two men were similar in their entire frankness and their determination in pursuing given thoughts and courses of action. From time to time they collided, but basically they understood one another. ** [[Ernest King]] and Walter M. Whitehill, ''Fleet Admiral King: A Naval Record'' (1952), p. 646 * I remember we passed by [[wikipedia:10_Downing_Street|10 Downing Street]]. That’s the place where the [[Prime Minister of the United Kingdom|prime minister of England]] lives. And I remember that a few years ago a man lived there by the name of Winston Churchill. One day he stood up before the world and said, “I did not become [[George V of the United Kingdom|his Majesty]]’s First Minister to preside over the [[Decolonization|liquidation]] of the [[British Empire]].” And I thought about the fact that a few weeks ago a man by the name of [[Anthony Eden]] lived there. And out of all of his knowledge of the [[Middle East]], he decided to rise up and march [[British Army|his armies]] with the forces of [[Israel]] and [[France]] into [[Egypt]]. [[wikipedia:Suez_Crisis|And there they confronted their doom]], because they were revolting against world opinion. Egypt, a little country. Egypt, a country with no military power. They could have easily defeated Egypt. But they did not realize that they were fighting more than Egypt. They were attacking world opinion, they were fighting [[Third World|the whole Asian-African bloc]], which is the bloc that now thinks and moves and determines the course of the [[history]] of the world. ** [[Martin Luther King Jr.]], [https://kinginstitute.stanford.edu/king-papers/documents/birth-new-nation-sermon-delivered-dexter-avenue-baptist-church "The Birth of a New Nation," Sermon Delivered at Dexter Avenue Baptist Church], 7 April 1957, The Martin Luther King, Jr. Research and Education Institute at Stanford University *Take Winston Churchill into the Cabinet. Churchill is the only Englishman [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]] is afraid of. He does not take the [[Neville Chamberlain|PM]] or [[Edward Wood, 1st Earl of Halifax|Lord Halifax]] seriously, but he placed Churchill in the same category as Roosevelt. The mere fact of giving him a leading ministerial post would convince Hitler that [you] really meant to stand up to him... Churchill's admission to the Cabinet would be the most effective measure. Otherwise trouble would start again very soon. **[[w:Lutz_Graf_Schwerin_von_Krosigk|Count Schwerin von Krosigk]] (German Minister of Finance) in conversation with [[w:Frederick Beaumont-Nesbitt|Colonel Beaumont-Nesbitt]] (5 July 1939), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1979), p. 1085 *In twenty-five years' knowledge of our [labour] movement I have known no leader to whom that faith has been given in greater measure or from a fuller heart. **[[Harold Laski]], ''Tribune'' (4 October 1940), pp. 11–12, quoted in Paul Addison, ''The Road to 1945'' (1994), p. 196 *As I look at the Europe Hitler has devastated, I know very intimately that, as an Englishman of Jewish origin, I owe you the gift of life itself. **[[Harold Laski]] to Churchill (2 September 1944), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Road to Victory: Winston S. Churchill, 1941-1945'' (1986), p. 972 *While vague about the hereafter, Churchill always held that "man is spirit," and believed in a kind of spiritual connection with his forebears. On 24 January 1953, he told his private secretary, [[w:Jock Colville|John Colville]], that he would die on that date—the same date his father had died in 1895. Twelve years later Churchill lapsed into a coma on January 10th. Confidently, Colville assured The Queen's private secretary: "He won't die until the 24th." Unconscious, Churchill did just that. **[[w:Richard M. Langworth|Richard M. Langworth]] Introduction: [https://winstonchurchill.hillsdale.edu/winston-churchills-dream-1947/ ''The Dream": A Fictional Encounter'' – by Winston S. Churchill, reprinted from the official biography, Winston S. Churchill, by Martin Gilbert, vol. 8 ''Never Despair 1945-1965'' (2013), pages 365-72.] *One question about The Dream that tantalized his family is whether the story was really fiction. When asked this question, Sir Winston Churchill would smile and say, "Not entirely." **[[w:Richard M. Langworth|Richard M. Langworth]] Introduction: [https://winstonchurchill.hillsdale.edu/winston-churchills-dream-1947/ ''The Dream": A Fictional Encounter'' – by Winston S. Churchill, reprinted from the official biography, Winston S. Churchill, by Martin Gilbert, vol. 8 ''Never Despair 1945-1965'' (2013), pages 365-72.] * It will take a great deal of patience to undo the harm that Churchill has done. ** [[w:David L. Lawrence|David L. Lawrence]], ''Don't Call Me Boss: David L. Lawrence, Pittsburgh's Renaissance Mayor'', p. 168 *1919: but two years later Mr. Winston Churchill was entrusted by our harassed Cabinet with the settlement of the [[Middle East]]; and in a few weeks, at his conference in Cairo, he made straight all the tangle, finding solutions fulfilling (I think) our promises [to the [[Arabs]]] in letter and spirit (where humanly possible) without sacrificing any interest of our Empire or any interest of the peoples concerned. So we were quit of the wartime Eastern adventure, with clean hands, but three years too late to earn the gratitude which peoples, if not states, can pay. **[[T. E. Lawrence]], ''[[w:Seven Pillars of Wisdom|Seven Pillars of Wisdom]]'' (1926; 2000), p. 283 * You know the difference between a politician and a statesman? Here is the LeMay definition: a politician is a high-profile hooker looking for money to fund a campaign so that he can be in position to be owned by a political party, doing their bidding like a slave. [[Lyndon B. Johnson|Johnson]] fit that category. A statesman is a politician whose allegiance is only to their nation, and who, despite the feelings of others, does what he believes in his gut is in the best interest of his country, politics be damned. That even means doing something that may cost him his career, but he takes the moral high ground as he sees it, to do what must be done. That was Churchill. That's the difference. [[Ronald Reagan]] is a statesman, and make a note of it- we may not have any more in the future. They are a damned dying breed. That also applies to military commanders. You can have a charismatic, friendly, and amiable type of leader, but that is a difficult position to hold when you have to maintain discipline. It can be done, but it is hard. Then there is the hard-ass, no-holds-barred, get-it-fucking-done leader who pushes his men and expects ever-better results afterward. The easygoing leader may be liked more by his men, but the hard-ass will sure as shit have their attention, and if she shares the dangers with them, he will have their respect. Respect is everything. ** [[Curtis LeMay]], as quoted from a 1986 interview with Colin Heaton, as quoted by Colin Heaton and Anne-Marie Lewis, ''Above The Reich: Deadly Dogfights, Blistering Bombing Raids, and Other War Stories from the Greatest American Air Heroes of World War II, in Their Own Words'' (2021) p. 349 *He would make a drum out of the skin of his own mother in order to sound his own praises. **[[David Lloyd George]], quoted by [[w:Frances Stevenson|Frances Stevenson]] in A. J. P. Taylor (ed), ''Lloyd George: A Diary''(1971), p. 253 === M–Z === *Only that giant among statesmen, our great Prime Minister, seemed convincing in his role as an apostle of arms and the [[w:Covenant of the League of Nations|Covenant]]. Of him at least men could feel that when he said arms he meant arms. The rich versatility of his nature and the varied phases of his career had equipped him to grasp hold of issues which to narrower men seemed incompatible. The Liberal in him could talk of the Covenant with propriety, the Tory in him could speak of arms with conviction. To quote a schoolboy's naïve but telling description of the [[William Pitt the Younger|Younger Pitt]]: "He had a broad mind with room in it for many thoughts." **[[w:R. B. McCallum|R. B. McCallum]], ''Public Opinion and the Last Peace'' (1944), pp. 145-146 *The truth is that Churchill never was and never had been, in the true sense, a party man. He would fight the party battle ''con amore'', when necessary. But behind these ephemeral struggles, he saw always the vision of the nation. He was proud of its great past and was determined that its future should be no less glorious. Some of the older Members of the party were surprised and even disturbed at his being given the high post of Chancellor of the Exchequer immediately after his return to the party fold... But as the Parliament proceeded, no one could withhold admiration for the wit, humour, ingenuity, and oratorical skill which he deployed. The Budget speeches were a work of art. None of us had heard anything of the kind—such mastery of language, such careful deployment of the arguments, such dexterous covering of any weak point... I am trying to picture the Churchill of 1924–9: unique, wayward, exciting, a man with a peculiar glamour of his own, that brought a sense of colour into our rather drab political life... But it is impossible to describe the effect of the continual flow of his talk. The arresting thoughts were invariably clothed in equally striking phraseology. **[[Harold Macmillan]], ''Winds of Change, 1914–1939'' (1966), pp. 175-177 *We are also short of heroes today—or too aware of our leaders’ shortcomings—which may help to explain the cult of Winston Churchill, a cult which is perhaps even more pronounced in [[North America]] than it is in the United Kingdom. The British, after all, have had direct experience of Churchill in other roles than that of the great World War II leader. They are more likely to remember his long political career with its share of mistakes and failures. In North America, the Churchill who is remembered is largely the towering figure who fought on alone against the Axis and who helped craft the Allied victory, not the author of the disastrous [[w:Gallipoli_landings|Gallipoli landings]] in World War I or the ailing prime minister who stayed too long in office in the 1950s. President [[George W. Bush]] is, not surprisingly, fond of comparing himself to the first Churchill, not the second. **[[Margaret MacMillan]], The Uses and Abuses of History (2008) *I listened to him and couldn't help thinking: Of course, Churchill is a considerable man and a major statesman … but something of the small boy lives on in him: Iran is a toy he likes while India is a toy he dislikes. **[[Ivan Maisky]], [https://www.theguardian.com/books/2016/jan/20/the-miasky-diaries-review Diaries] *The next thing I was asked to do was to go up to Norwich and “rouse the town,” as they say. Winston Churchill was in the British cabinet and was going to make a speech there. Well, the [[Women's rights|English suffragists]] knew that the government was completely opposed to suffrage, and they conceived this plan to publicly ask all the cabinet members what they were going to do about votes for women. For that moment at least, the whole audience would turn to the subject of suffrage. We considered it an inexpensive way of advertising our cause. I thought it was a very successful method. (What happened at Norwich?) AP: I went to Norwich with one other young woman, who was as inexperienced as I was, and we had street meetings in the marketplace, where everyone assembled for several nights before Mr. Churchill’s speech. I don’t know whether we exactly “roused the town,” but by the time he arrived, I think Norwich was pretty well aware of what we were trying to do. The night he spoke, we had another meeting outside the hall. We were immediately arrested. You didn’t have to be a good speaker, because the minute you began, you were arrested. **[[Alice Paul]] [https://ridgefieldhistoricalsociety.org/documents/1974%20Interview%20with%20Alice%20Paul.pdf Interview] (1974) * Winston (Churchill) believes in the maximum of injustice enforced with the maximum of brutality. ** [[Ezra Pound]], in an interview with Edd Johnson, published in [https://archive.org/details/ezra-pound_DOJ-CD/page/n143/mode/2up ''The Chicago Sun''] (9 May 1945) *His countrymen have come to feel that he is saying what they would like to say for themselves if they knew how. **[[w:Charles Wilson, 1st Baron Moran|Lord Moran]]'s diary (24 December 1941), quoted in Lord Moran, ''Winston Churchill: The Struggle for Survival, 1940–1965'' (1966; 1968), p. 28 *[[Joseph Stalin|Stalin]] told how he had asked [[w:Nancy Astor, Viscountess Astor|Lady Astor]] [in 1931] about politicians in England. '"[[Neville Chamberlain|Chamberlain]]," she said, "is the coming man." 'What about Winston?' '"Oh, he's finished," she replied.' Stalin had retorted: 'If your country is ever in trouble, he will come back.' **[[w:Charles Wilson, 1st Baron Moran|Lord Moran]]'s diary (14 August 1942), quoted in Lord Moran, ''Winston Churchill: The Struggle for Survival, 1940–1965'' (1966; 1968), p. 76 *Many years on, historians will read this and your speeches in ''[[w:Arms and the Covenant|Arms and the Covenant]]''. They will wonder but I doubt if they will decide what devil of pride, unbelief, unselfishness or sheer madness possessed the [[English people]] that they did not ride as one man, depose the blind guides... and call on you to lead them to security, justice and peace. There is a [[Polish proverbs|Polish proverb]] about the [[Poland|Poles]] themselves...'Wise is the Pole after the event'. The English electorate is growing more Polish daily. **[[w:Desmond Morton (civil servant)|Desmond Morton]] to Churchill after reading his book ''Step by Step, 1936-1939'' (2 July 1939), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1979), p. 1078 *Churchill had the mind of an historian and the courage of a solider. First, Churchill could see the patterns of the past being repeated in the present, and second, he had no fear of risking political death by going against the polls or conventional wisdom. **[[Richard Nixon]], as quoted in ''Churchill: The Prophetic Statesman'', [[w: James C. Humes|James C. Humes]], Regnery History, Washington DC, 2012, p. 9 *The man who rallied the nation was Churchill, a gifted and courageous man, but a patriot of the limited, traditional kind. In effect Churchill said simply, "We are fighting for England," and the people flocked to follow him... I personally have always admired him as a man and as a writer, little as I like his politics. **[[George Orwell]], 'Fascism and Democracy', ''The Left News'' (February 1941), quoted in Peter Davison (ed.), ''The Complete Works of George Orwell, Volume XII: A Patriot After All, 1940–1941'' (1998), p. 380 *[T]he political reminiscences which he has published...have always been a great deal above the average, in frankness as well as literary quality... Churchill's writings are more like those of a human being than of a public figure... Whether or not 1940 was anyone else's finest hour, it was certainly Churchill's... [O]ne has to admire in him not only his courage but also a certain largeness and geniality which comes out even in formal memoirs of this type... The British people have generally rejected his policies, but they have always had a liking for him, as one can see from the tone of the stories told about him... At the time of the [[w:Dunkirk_evacuation|Dunkirk evacuation]]...it was rumoured that what he actually said, when recording the speech for broadcast, was: "We will fight on the beaches, we will fight in the streets... We'll throw bottles at the b—s; it's about all we've got left"—but, of course the BBC's switch-censor pressed his thumb on the key at the right moment. One may assume that this story is untrue, but at the time it was felt that it ought to be true. It was a fitting tribute from ordinary people to the tough and humorous old man whom they would not accept as a peace-time leader but whom in the moment of disaster they felt to be representative of themselves. **[[George Orwell]]'s review of Churchill's ''Their Finest Hour'' in ''New Leader'' (14 May 1949), quoted in Sonia Orwell and Ian Angus (eds.), ''The Collected Essays, Journalism and Letters of George Orwell. Volume IV: In Front of Your Nose, 1945–1950'' (1968), pp. 491–495 *War not only has its own weapons, it has its own ethic, its own standard of right and wrong... Do whatever is necessary to win. This fact was emphasized in a recent statement by Winston S. Churchill, former first lord of the British admiralty: "When all is over, torture and cannibalism were the only two expedients that the civilized, scientific, [[Christendom|Christian states]] had been able to deny themselves: and these were of doubtful utility." ** [[Kirby Page]], "What is War?" ''Christian Century'' 41 (May 15, 1924) *He looked invincible, which he is. Tough, bulldogged, piercing. He made his way through the smoke, through the [[City of London|City]] workers all crying "Good old Winston" – "Give 'em socks" – "Good luck" – and the culminating cry of "Are we down-hearted?" to the heaven-rising response of "No-o-o-o-o" which echoed around the City, around the world indeed. It was magnificent, tremendous, stirring, dramatic. **Colin Perry's diary entry recording Churchill's visit to the East End of London during [[w:The Blitz|The Blitz]] (''c''. 9 September 1940), quoted in Philip Ziegler, ''London At War'' (2015), p. 115 *His violent disagreement with [[Neville Chamberlain]] did not spring solely from thwarted ambition or personal dislike. Such motives may have sharpened the phrases and honed his epigrams, but the long policy of appeasement, the weakening of Britain's world role, the acceptance of oppression and racialism were to Churchill a denial of England's historical destiny and, because a denial, bound to end in disaster. **[[J. H. Plumb]], 'The Historian', in ''Churchill: Four Faces and the Man'' (1969; 1973), p. 123 *One of the reasons for the immense popularity of Churchill in 1940 was the not unfounded instinct of the common people that, but for him, their rulers would have betrayed them. There is a certain fallacy in attempting to decide what was Churchill's one crucial contribution to the survival of Britain. Great historical events are determined by a whole array of causes, each of which would be entitled in isolation to be regarded as crucial. But I feel sure that many people besides myself believe it was by being an immovable obstacle to compromise or surrender in 1940 that Churchill saved his country. **[[Enoch Powell]], 'Churchill and War', BBC Radio (29 July 1983), quoted in ''Reflections of a Statesman: The Writings and Speeches of Enoch Powell'' (1991), p. 298 *There is a great longing for leadership and even those who are far apart from you in general politics realize that you are the one man who has combined full realization of the dangers of our military position with belief in collective international action against aggression. And if we fail again now, will there ever be another chance. **Independent MP [[w:Eleanor Rathbone|Eleanor Rathbone]] to Churchill (10 September 1938), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1979), p. 971 *'''It is fun to be in the same decade with you.''' **U.S. President [[Franklin D. Roosevelt]] (1882–1945), in response to 60th-birthday greetings from Churchill, as quoted in ''The Columbia Dictionary of Quotations'' (1993), p. 148. *[re Mulberry Harbours] You know that was Churchill’s idea. He has a hundred a day and about four of them are good. **[[Franklin D. Roosevelt]], comments recorded by US Secretary of Labor, [[Frances Perkins]], quoted in ''The Roosevelt I Knew'' (Viking Press, 1946), p. 383 * An analogous process I shall call ''Churchillian Drift'' ... Whereas quotations with an apothegmatic feel are normally ascribed to [[George Bernard Shaw|Shaw]], those with a more grandiose or belligerent tone are, as if by osmosis, credited to Churchill. ** [[Nigel Rees]], ''Brewer's Quotations'' (London: Cassell, 1994) p. x., also quoted in ''Why Do We Quote'' by Ruth Finnegan (2011), [https://www.google.com/books/edition/Why_Do_We_Quote/UQezheDQSsYC?hl=en&gbpv=1&pg=PA241 pg. 241] *[H]e became the greatest leader in war this country has ever had. **[[w:A. L. Rowse|A. L. Rowse]], 'The Summing-Up—Churchill's Place in History', Charles Eade (ed.), ''Churchill By His Contemporaries'' (1953), p. 345 *Even repeated by the announcer, it sent shivers (not of fear) down my spine. I think that one of the reasons why one is stirred by his Elizabethan phrases is that one feels the whole massive backing of power and resolve behind them, like a great fortress: they are never words for words' sake. **[[w:Vita Sackville-West|Vita Sackville-West]] to [[Harold Nicolson]] (4 June 1940) after Churchill's "We shall never surrender" speech, quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Finest Hour: Winston S. Churchill, 1939–1941'' (1983), p. 469 *Early in the afternoon [of 8 September 1940] I accompanied the Prime Minister on a tour of the [[w:East End of London|East End]], and then I saw the extraordinary spirit with which Londoners fought back... Although it was still early in the afternoon people were already coming in for the night, carrying their bedding and belongings, but they dropped them to the ground to cheer the Prime Minister. Putting his hat on the end of his stick he twirled it round and roared, "Are we downhearted?" and they shouted back, "No!" with astonishing gusto. "Hit 'em back, Winston!" the East Enders cried. "Hit 'em hard!" "Never fear," he answered in his most most bulldog way, "we'll hit back as soon as we can." Pessimists had predicted panic and bitterness in the East End, but I saw nothing of the kind. Smiles, cheers and grim determination showed already that "London could take it". **[[w:Harold Scott (police commissioner)|Harold Scott]], ''Your Obedient Servant'' (1959), p. 126 *As we were leaving the House [of Commons] late tonight, he called me into the Chamber to take a last look round. All was darkness except a ring of faint light all around under the gallery. We could dimly see the table, but walls and roof were invisible.<br>"Look at it", he said. "This little place is what makes the difference between us and Germany. It is in virtue of this that we shall muddle through to success & for lack of this Germany's brilliant efficiency leads her to final disaster. This little room is the shrine of the world's liberties." **[[w:MacCallum Scott|MacCallum Scott]], diary entry (5 March 1917), quoted in Paul Addison, 'Destiny, history and providence: the religion of Winston Churchill', in Michael Bentley (ed.), ''Public and Private Doctrine: Essays in British History presented to Maurice Cowling'' (1993), p. 245 *[H]is ideas are to me reactionary, he is out of touch with modern social trends. But he has served his country with the highest distinction; in moments of peril he was undaunted; in majestic phrases, which linger in the memory of those who heard them, he crystallised the resolution of the whole nation. **Labour MP [[w:Manny Shinwell|Emanuel Shinwell]], 'Churchill as a Political Opponent', Charles Eade (ed.), ''Churchill By His Contemporaries'' (1953), p. 83 *Sir Winston Churchill is the leader of the Conservative Party, but at the root of his many-sided nature there remains the essence of [[Liberalism]]. His tolerance, his sympathy with the oppressed and the underdog, his courage in withstanding clamour, his belief in the value of the individual and in self-government for communities sufficiently advanced to use it wisely, all derive from a heart and a head which made him in his early years of Ministerial office a Liberal statesman... Now that the ex-Liberal Minister has become leader of the Conservative Party, has he not carried into that body the reinvigorating spirit of English liberalism and so brought to fulfilment his father's notion that Toryism could be led into democratic channels? The content of national policy changes with time, but there is a profound sense in which Sir Winston Churchill, though a Conservative Prime Minister, is a Liberal still. **[[w:John Simon, 1st Viscount Simon|John Simon]], 'Churchill as a Liberal', Charles Eade (ed.), ''Churchill By His Contemporaries'' (1953), pp. 59, 61 * In their native countries, [[Franklin D. Roosevelt|Roosevelt]] and Churchill are regarded as examples of wise statesmen. But we, during our jail conversations, were astonished by their constant shortsightedness and even stupidity. How could they, retreating gradually from 1941 to 1945, leave [[Eastern Europe]] without any guarantees of independence? How could they abandon the large territories of [[Saxony]] and [[wikipedia:Thuringia|Thuringia]] in return for such a ridiculous toy as the four-zoned [[Berlin]] that, moreover, was later to become their Achilles' heel? And what kind of military or political purpose did they see in giving away hundreds of thousands of armed Soviet citizens (who were unwilling to surrender, whatever the terms) for Stalin to have them killed? It is said that by doing this, that they secured the imminent participation of [[Joseph Stalin|Stalin]] in the war against [[Japan during World War II|Japan]]. Already armed with the [[Atomic bomb]], they did pay for Stalin so that he wouldn’t refuse to occupy Manchuria to help [[Mao Zedong]] [[Chinese Civil War|to gain power in China]] and [[Kim Il-sung|Kim Il Sung]], to get [[North Korea|half of Korea]]!… Oh, misery of political calculation! When later [[wikipedia:Stanislav_Mikolajczyk|Mikolajczyk]] was expelled, when the end of [[wikipedia:Edvard_Beneš|Beneš]] and [[wikipedia:Jan_Masaryk|Masaryk]] came, [[wikipedia:Berlin_blockade|Berlin was blocked]], [[Budapest]] [[wikipedia:Hungarian_Revolution_of_1956|was in flames and turned silent]], when [[Korean War|ruins fumed in Korea]] and when the [[Conservative Party (UK)|conservatives]] fled from [[wikipedia:Suez_crisis|Suez]] – didn’t really some of those who had a better memory, recall for instance the episode of giving away the Cossacks? ** [[Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn]], ''[[The Gulag Archipelago]]'' Part 1, Chapter 6 *In contrast to the ultimate realization that he was dealing with a formidable enemy in the east, Hitler clung to the end to his preconceived opinion that the troops of the Western countries were poor fighting material... His opinions on the Western statesmen had a similar bias. He considered Churchill, as he often stated during the situation conferences, an incompetent, alcoholic demagogue. And he asserted in all seriousness that Roosevelt was not a victim of infantile paralysis but of [[w:Syphilis|syphilitic]] paralysis and was therefore mentally unsound. These opinions, too, were indications, of his flight from reality in the last years of his life. ** [[Albert Speer]], ''Inside the Third Reich: Memoirs'' (1970), p. 306-307 *[[Joseph Stalin|Marshal Stalin]] proposed a toast to the health of the Prime Minister, whom he characterized as the bravest governmental figure in the world. He said that due in large measure to Mr. Churchill's courage and staunchness, England, when she stood alone, had divided the might of Hitlerite Germany at a time when the rest of Europe was falling flat on its face before Hitler. He said that Great Britain, under Mr. Churchill's leadership, had carried on the fight alone irrespective of existing or potential allies. '''The Marshal concluded that he knew of few examples in history where the courage of one man had been so important to the future history of the world.''' He drank a toast to Mr. Churchill, his fighting friend and a brave man. **[[Joseph Stalin]]'s toast to Churchill at [[w:Yalta Conference|Yalta]] (8 February 1945), quoted in [[w:Robert E. Sherwood|Robert Sherwood]], ''Roosevelt and Hopkins: An Intimate History'' (1948), p. 868. Also quoted in Lord Moran, ''Winston Churchill: The Struggle for Survival, 1940-1965'' (1968), p. 252 * The great aristocrat, the beloved leader, the profound historian, the gifted painter, the superb politician, the lord of language, the orator, the wit—yes, and the dedicated bricklayer—behind all of them was a simple man of faith, steadfast in defeat, generous in victory, resigned in age, trusting in a loving providence, and committing his achievements and his triumphs to a higher power. ** [[Adlai Stevenson]], Washington, D.C. (28 January 1965); as quoted in [https://news.google.com/newspapers?id=ZmQwAAAAIBAJ&sjid=mWwDAAAAIBAJ&pg=4314%2C3973257 "Stevenson Delivers Eulogy to Churchill; 'Simple Faith in God' Cited"] by the Associated Press, in ''The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette'' (29 January 1965); reproduced in ''Adlai Stevenson'' (1966) by Lillian Ross, p. 47 * '''Remember him, for he saved all of you: pudgy and not very large but somehow massive and indomitable; baby-faced, with snub nose, square chin, rheumy eyes on occasion given to tears; a thwarted actor's taste for clothes that would have looked ridiculous on a less splendid man. He wore the quaintest hats of anyone: tinted square bowlers; great flat sombreros squashed down on his head; naval officer's caps rendered just slightly comic by the huge cigar protruding beneath the peak. On grave and critical occasions he sported highly practical Teddy-bear suits few grown men would dare to wear in public. He fancied oil painting, at which he was good, writing, at which he was excellent, and oratory, at which he was magnificent.''' ** C.L. Sulzberger, in his book ''The American Heritage Picture History of World War II'' (1966), p. 97 *The saviour of his country. **[[A. J. P. Taylor]], ''English History, 1914-1945'' (1965), p. 4, n. 1 *Anyone can run up an account of Churchill and find plenty of faults. They weigh not a feather in the balance. There has never been anyone like him, and that is all there is to it. He was the saviour of his country at the most critical moment in its history. **[[A. J. P. Taylor]], 'What the Doctor Saw', ''New Statesman'' (27 May 1966), p. 782 *Confidence in the Prime Minister stood at eighty-eight per cent in July [1940] ... There is no doubt that the British were united, nor is there the least doubt that they found in Churchill an exact expression of their own obstinacy, courage, and refusal to recognise the apparent logic of facts. **[[w:Laurence Thompson (journalist)|Laurence Thompson]], ''1940: Year of Legend, Year of History'' (1966), p. 140 *As I saw and knew him his outstanding characteristics are his fearlessness, honesty, patriotism and his sense of destiny. **[[w:Walter H. Thompson|Walter H. Thompson]], 'Guarding Churchill', Charles Eade (ed.), ''Churchill By His Contemporaries'' (1953), p. 170 * '''He is a great man. He is, of course, our enemy and has always been the enemy of Communism, but he is an enemy one must respect, an enemy one likes to have.''' ** [[Tito]], as quoted in Jasper Ridley, ''Tito: A Biography'' (1994), p. 323. * Winston sent me a peevish telegram to ask why Gandhi hadn't died yet! He has never answered my telegram about food. **[[Archibald Wavell, 1st Earl Wavell]], in his diary entry for 4 July 1944 (published in ''Wavell: the Viceroy's Journal'', ed. Penderel Moon, 1973). Wavell was the Viceroy of India from 1943 to 1947, when the Japanese invasion of Burma, combined with colonial mismanagement, had caused a famine in Bengal. Often misquoted as "'''If food is so scarce, why hasn't Gandhi died yet?'''" *My dear Winston. That was worth 1,000 guns & the speeches of 1,000 years. **Labour MP [[w:Josiah Wedgwood, 1st Baron Wedgwood|Josiah Wedgwood]] to Churchill (4 June 1940) after his "We shall never surrender" speech, quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Finest Hour: Winston S. Churchill, 1939–1941'' (1983), p. 468 * Among a stream of visitors to the 9th Division in England, while it was preparing for D-Day in the early months of 1944, was Prime Minister Winston Churchill. When he arrived to address the assembled troops, he went at first not to the speaker's stand but behind a small outbuilding. He reappeared minutes later buttoning his fly, making sure no one missed the reason for the delay. The troops loved it. ** [[William Westmoreland]], in his memoirs ''A Soldier Reports'' (1976), p. 20 *Tonight our nation mourns the loss of the greatest man any of us have known... It was his leadership...and that response which saved Britain and saved freedom... It was his courage, his humanity, the response he evoked in our people, that wrote in those wartime years, that imperishable chapter in our history, a chapter which will always bear the title he gave to one part of that chapter, "Our Finest Hour". For over-riding and sustaining those qualities which marked his years of leadership was his great sense of history—of, in his words, walking with destiny—thinking not so much perhaps of himself but of his country, of the Commonwealth. **[[Harold Wilson]], broadcast (24 January 1965), quoted in ''The Times'' (25 January 1965), p. 8 *The book is a record of perspicacity and courage on your part. England owes you many apologies. **[[w:Roundell Palmer, 3rd Earl of Selborne|Lord Wolmer]] to Churchill after reading his book ''Step by Step, 1936-1939'' (5 July 1939), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth: Winston S. Churchill, 1922–1939'' (1979), p. 1079 *On 30 January 1965, former British Prime Minister Winston Churchill's funeral took place. One of its most memorable moments was when cranes on the London docks dipped as his funeral barge went past. However, it later emerged that the dockworkers had originally refused to dip the cranes as they "didn't like" Churchill, and had to be paid extra to do it. While typically depicted as a national hero today, in fact Churchill was hated by many, especially working class people, hence why he lost the 1945 election. And despite being presented as an anti-fascist, Churchill actually supported fascism. He declared that Italian fascist dictator Benito Mussolini was "a really great man", and wrote that he "whole-heartedly" supported Mussolini "from the start of the finish in [his] triumphant struggle against the bestial appetites and passions of Leninism", and supported Mussolini's invasion of [[Ethiopia|Abyssinia]] (now Ethiopia), describing the independent African nation as not "civilised". Churchill also supported the military coup of general Francisco Franco and his fascist army in Spain, and wrote of his admiration for Adolf Hitler in Germany, with whom he also advocated appeasement until late in 1938, even after Hitler's invasion of Czechoslovakia. In his younger days Churchill also opposed the vote being given to women, or working class men. Famously, he was a virulent racist, who supported using poison gas on civilians, and he sent troops against striking British workers. During World War II he was also a key architect of the manufactured Bengal famine, which killed between two and four million people. This clip from Jeremy Paxman's documentary discusses Churchill's funeral and includes a former docker explaining why they didn't want to lower their cranes for him: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DU1qV4_t3M **[https://stories.workingclasshistory.com/article/10280/funeral-of-winston-churchill ''Working Class History''] (2020) === ''Churchill's Finest Hour'' (November 27, 2009) === <small>[[Mark Riebling]], "Churchill's Finest Hour," ''City Journal'' (November 27, 2009). [http://www.city-journal.org/2009/bc1124mr.html Full essay online]</small> * '''Winston Churchill led the life that many men would love to live. He survived 50 gunfights and drank 20,000 bottles of champagne. [...] And of course, by resisting Hitler, he saved Europe and perhaps the world.''' * Following the pattern set by [[Julius Caesar]] in ''The Gallic War'', Churchill wrote books to vindicate policy; but he may also have made policy with an eye toward writing books. If so, the implications are alarming. Did Churchill conceive bold operations, such as the disastrous 1915 Dardanelles offensive, because these would make exciting episodes in the text of his life? [[Arthur Balfour|A. J. Balfour]] once joked that Winston had written an enormous book about himself and called it The World Crisis. Was there more truth in that joke than we have so far known? * He was the outlier of a new type: the first twentieth-century personality to be famous for being famous. If he toured [[Africa]] with 17 pieces of matched luggage, or got hit by a car crossing [[w:Fifth_Avenue|Fifth Avenue]] in [[New York City|New York]], he wrote about it. His life became a forerunner of reality TV; in today's terms, he did everything to seek celebrity but release a sex tape. A great question of Churchill biography, therefore, is how this [[Paris Hilton]] of [[Politics of the United Kingdom|British politics]] became the second coming of King Arthur. * What then is the moral of Churchill's life? He was the twentieth century's great man, but we must sharply circumscribe his greatness. Because he drew the sword from the stone in 1940, what he did before and after seems admirable. Through his steadfast stance, Churchill rallied the English to die with honor—therefore they deserved to win. Whoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it; and whoever shall lose his life shall preserve it (Luke 17:33). Yet were it not for this one courageous triumph, we might now say of him: Never had one man done so little with so much. ==References== <references/> ==External links== {{wikipedia}} {{wikisource author|Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill}} {{commonscat}} *[http://www.winstonchurchill.org The Churchill Centre website] *[http://www.historychannel.com/speeches/archive/speech_52.html Audio of Churchill's "finest hour" speech] {{DEFAULTSORT:Churchill, Winston}} [[Category:People from Oxford]] [[Category:Prime Ministers of the United Kingdom]] [[Category:Politicians from England]] [[Category:1874 births]] [[Category:1965 deaths]] [[Category:Nobel laureates in Literature]] [[Category:Historians from England]] [[Category:Biographers from England]] [[Category:Non-fiction authors from England]] [[Category:Journalists from England]] [[Category:Agnostics]] [[Category:Conservative Party (UK) politicians]] [[Category:Orators]] [[Category:Eugenicists]] [[Category:Freemasons]] [[Category:People of World War II]] [[Category:Anti-communists]] [[Category:Anti-fascists]] [[Category:Nobel laureates from England]] [[Category:Liberal Party (UK) politicians]] [[Category:Painters from England]] [[Category:Fellows of the Royal Society]] [[Category:Victorian writers]] [[te:చర్చిల్] [[Category:Chancellors of the Exchequer]] [[Category:Home Secretaries (UK)]] [[Category:Leaders of the House of Commons (United Kingdom)]] [[Category:Presidents of the Board of Trade (United Kingdom)]] [[Category:Secretaries of State for the Colonies (United Kingdom)]] [[Category:People of World War I]] [[Category:People of the Cold War]] [[Category:Defence ministers of England, Great Britain, and the United Kingdom]] [[Category:European Union pioneers]] nhx9abo5lxn7cmntu0ovb7cfnyst1h9 0 469 3942092 3941283 2026-05-17T15:51:02Z AjaxSmack 1412025 link edits 3942092 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Epictetus from L. Annaei Senecae philosophi Opera, 1605, title page detail.png|thumb|right|For what is it that everyone is seeking? To live securely, to be happy, to do everything as they wish to do, not to be hindered, not to be subject to compulsion.]] '''{{w|Epictetus}}''' ({{w|Ancient Greek}}: Ἐπίκτητος, ''Epíktētos''; c. 50 – c. 135 AD) was a [[w:Ancient Greece|Greek]] [[w:Stoicism|Stoic]] [[w:Philosophy|philosopher]]. He was born into slavery in {{w|Phrygia}} and lived in [[w:Ancient Rome|Rome]] until his banishment, after which he spent the rest of his life in {{w|Nicopolis}} in northwestern Greece. His teachings were written down and published by his pupil [[Arrian]] in his ''{{w|Discourses of Epictetus|Discourses}}'' and ''{{w|Enchiridion of Epictetus|Enchiridion}}''. == Quotes == === ''Discourses'' === [[File:Epicteti Enchiridion Latinis versibus adumbratum (Oxford 1715) frontispiece - greyscale.jpg|thumb|right|It is difficulties that show what men are.]] [[File:Epictetus - from Voltaire's Romances translated from the French - 1889 edition.jpg|thumb|right|First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.]] [[File:Notice sur les traductions françaises du Manuel d'Épictète - frontispiece.png|thumb|right|Although life is a matter of indifference, the use which you make of it is not a matter of indifference.]] :<small>Greek text cited from H. Schenkl, [https://archive.org/details/ldpd_10922736_000 ''Epicteti Dissertationes''] (Leipzig, 1916).</small> ====Book I==== * Τῷ λογικῷ ζώῳ μόνον ἀφόρητόν ἐστι τὸ ἄλογον, τὸ δ᾿ εὔλογον φορητόν. ** To the rational being only the irrational is unendurable, but the rational is endurable. ** ''Variant translation:'' To a reasonable creature, that alone is insupportable which is unreasonable; but everything reasonable may be supported. ** I.2.1 * Τὸ δ᾿ ἀπάγξασθαι οὐκ ἔστιν ἀφόρητον; — Ὅταν γοῦν πάθῃ τις ὅτι εὔλογον, ἀπελθὼν ἀπήγξατο. ** "But to be hanged—is that not unendurable?" Even so, when a man feels that it is reasonable, he goes off and hangs himself. ** I.2.3 * καίτοι ὅ γε θεὸς οὐ μόνον ἔδωκεν ἡμῖν τὰς δυνάμεις ταύτας, καθ᾿ ἃς οἴσομεν πᾶν τὸ ἀποβαῖνον μὴ ταπεινούμενοι μηδὲ συγκλώμενοι ὑπ᾿ αὐτοῦ, ἀλλ᾿ ὃ ἦν ἀγαθοῦ βασιλέως καὶ ταῖς ἀληθείαις πατρός, ἀκώλυτον τοῦτο ἔδωκεν, ἀνανάγκαστον, ἀπαραπόδιστον, ὅλον αὐτὸ ἐφ᾿ ἡμῖν ἐποίησεν. ** Yet God hath not only granted these faculties, by which we may bear every event without being depressed or broken by it, but like a good prince and a true father, hath placed their exercise above restraint, compulsion, or hindrance, and wholly within our own control. ** I.6.40 * καὶ ἁπλῶς οὔτε θάνατος οὔτε φυγὴ οὔτε πόνος οὔτε ἄλλο τι τῶν τοιούτων αἴτιόν ἐστι τοῦ πράττειν τι ἢ μὴ πράττειν ἡμᾶς, ἀλλ᾿ ὑπολήψεις καὶ δόγματα. ** In a word, neither death, nor exile, nor pain, nor anything of this kind is the real cause of our doing or not doing any action, but our inward opinions and principles. ** I.11.33 * λόγου γὰρ μέγεθος οὐ μήκει οὐδ᾿ ὕψει κρίνεται, ἀλλὰ δόγμασιν. ** Reason is not measured by size or height, but by principle. ** I.12.26 * Ἀνδράποδον, οὐκ ἀνέξῃ τοῦ ἀδελφοῦ τοῦ σαυτοῦ, ὃς ἔχει τὸν Δία πρόγονον, ὥσπερ υἱὸς ἐκ τῶν αὐτῶν σπερμάτων γέγονεν καὶ τῆς αὐτῆς ἄνωθεν καταβολῆς, ἀλλ᾿ εἰ ἔν τινι τοιαύτῃ χώρᾳ κατετάγης ὑπερεχούσῃ, εὐθὺς τύραννον καταστήσεις σεαυτόν; ** O slavish man! will you not bear with your own brother, who has God for his Father, as being a son from the same stock, and of the same high descent? But if you chance to be placed in some superior station, will you presently set yourself up for a tyrant? ** I.13.3–4 * ὅταν κλείσητε τὰς θύρας καὶ σκότος ἔνδον ποιήσητε, μέμνησθε μηδέποτε λέγειν ὅτι μόνοι ἐστέ· οὐ γὰρ ἐστέ, ἀλλ᾿ ὁ θεὸς ἔνδον ἐστὶ καὶ ὁ ὑμέτερος δαίμων ἐστίν. καὶ τίς τούτοις χρεία φωτὸς εἰς τὸ βλέπειν τί ποιεῖτε; ** When you close your doors, and make darkness within, remember never to say that you are alone, for you are not alone; nay, God is within, and your genius is within. And what need have they of light to see what you are doing? ** I.14.13–14 * Οὐδέν, ἔφη, τῶν μεγάλων ἄφνω γίνεται, ὅπου γε οὐδ᾿ ὁ βότρυς οὐδὲ σύκον. ἄν μοι νῦν λέγῃς ὅτι 'θέλω σύκον', ἀποκρινοῦμαί σοι ὅτι 'χρόνου δεῖ'. ἄφες ἀνθήσῃ πρῶτον, εἶτα προβάλῃ τὸν καρπόν, εἶτα πεπανθῇ. ** No thing great is created suddenly, any more than a bunch of grapes or a fig. If you tell me that you desire a fig, I answer you that there must be time. Let it first blossom, then bear fruit, then ripen. ** I.15.7 * ἓν τῶν γεγονότων ἀπήρκει πρὸς τὸ αἰσθέσθαι τῆς προνοίας τῷ γε αἰδήμονι καὶ εὐχαρίστῳ. ** Any one thing in the creation is sufficient to demonstrate a Providence to an humble and grateful mind. ** I.16.7 * εἰ γοῦν ἀηδὼν ἤμην, ἐποίουν τὰ τῆς ἀηδόνος, εἰ κύκνος, τὰ τοῦ κύκνου. ** Were I a nightingale, I would act the part of a nightingale; were I a swan, the part of a swan. ** I.16.20 * Ἐπειδὴ λόγος ἐστὶν ὁ διαρθρῶν καὶ ἐξεργαζόμενος τὰ λοιπά, ἔδει δ᾿ αὐτὸν μὴ ἀδιάρθρωτον εἶναι. ** Since it is Reason which shapes and regulates all other things, it ought not itself to be left in disorder. ** I.17.1 * Εἰ ἀληθές ἐστι τὸ ὑπὸ τῶν φιλοσόφων λεγόμενον ὅτι πᾶσιν ἀνθρώποις μία ἀρχὴ καθάπερ τοῦ συγκαταθέσθαι τὸ παθεῖν ὅτι ὑπάρχει καὶ τοῦ ἀνανεῦσαι τὸ παθεῖν ὅτι οὐχ ὑπάρχει καὶ νὴ Δία τοῦ ἐπισχεῖν τὸ παθεῖν ὅτι ἄδηλόν ἐστιν, οὕτως καὶ τοῦ ὁρμῆσαι ἐπί ⟨τι⟩ τὸ παθεῖν ὅτι ἐμοὶ συμφέρει. ** If what the philosophers say be true,—that all men's actions proceed from one source; that as they assent from a persuasion that a thing is so, and dissent from a persuasion that it is not, and suspend their judgment from a persuasion that it is uncertain,—so likewise they seek a thing from a persuasion that it is for their advantage. ** I.18.1 * ἔδει νὴ τοὺς θεοὺς μελετᾶν ἐπὶ τῶν μικρῶν καὶ ἀπ᾿ ἐκείνων ἀρχομένους διαβαίνειν ἐπὶ τὰ μείζω. ** Practice yourself, for heaven's sake, in little things; and thence proceed to greater. ** I.18.18 * τὸ κοχλίου ἀγαθὸν οὐκ εἰκὸς εἶναι ⟨ἐν⟩ τῷ κελύφει, τὸ οὖν τοῦ ἀνθρώπου εἰκός; ** It is unlikely that the good of a snail should reside in its shell: so is it likely that the good of a man should? ** I.20.17 * τίνες εἰσὶν οὗτοι, ὑφ᾿ ὧν εἴωθας λέγειν ὅτι μαίνονται; τί οὖν; ὑπὸ τῶν μαινομένων θαυμάζεσθαι θέλεις; ** Who are those people by whom you wish to be admired? Are they not these about whom you are in the habit of saying that they are mad? What then? Do you wish to be admired by the mad? ** I.21.4 * εἰ συμφέρει μοι ἀγρὸν ἔχειν, συμφέρει μοι ἱμάτιον ἔχειν, συμφέρει μοι καὶ κλέψαι αὐτὸ ἐκ βαλανείου. ἔνθεν πόλεμοι, στάσεις, τυραννίδες, ἐπιβουλαί. ** If it is my interest to have a farm, it is my interest to take it away from my neighbour; if it is my interest to have a cloak, it is my interest also to steal it from a bath. This is the source of wars, seditions, tyrannies, plots. ** I.22.14 * Αἱ περιστάσεις εἰσὶν αἱ τοὺς ἄνδρας δεικνύουσαι. ** It is difficulties that show what men are. ** I.24.1 * Εἰ ταῦτα ἀληθῆ ἐστι καὶ μὴ βλακεύομεν μηδ᾿ ὑποκρινόμεθα ὅτι τὸ ἀγαθὸν τοῦ ἀνθρώπου ἐν προαιρέσει καὶ τὸ κακόν, τὰ δ᾿ ἄλλα πάντα οὐδὲν πρὸς ἡμᾶς, τί ἔτι ταρασσόμεθα, τί ἔτι φοβούμεθα; ** If these things are true; and if we are not stupid or insincere when we say that the good or ill of man lies within his own will, and that all beside is nothing to us, why are we still troubled? Why do we still fear? ** I.25.1 * καπνὸν πεποίηκεν ἐν τῷ οἰκήματι; ἂν μέτριον, μενῶ· ἂν λίαν πολύν, ἐξέρχομαι. τούτου γὰρ μεμνῆσθαι καὶ κρατεῖν, ὅτι ἡ θύρα ἤνοικται. ** If the room is smoky, if only moderately, I will stay; if there is too much smoke I will go. Remember this, keep a firm hold on it, the door is always open. ** I.25.18 * οὐδέν ἐστι τὸ ἀνθέλκον ὡς πρὸς τὸ ἀκολουθῆσαι τοῖς διδασκομένοις, ἐπὶ δὲ τῶν βιωτικῶν πολλὰ τὰ περισπῶντα. ** In theory there is nothing to hinder our following what we are taught; but in life there are many things to draw us aside. ** I.26.3 * Τετραχῶς αἱ φαντασίαι γίνονται ἡμῖν· ἢ γὰρ ἔστι τινὰ ⟨καὶ⟩ οὕτως φαίνεται ἢ οὐκ ὄντα οὐδὲ φαίνεται ὅτι ἔστιν ἢ ἔστι καὶ οὐ φαίνεται ἢ οὐκ ἔστι καὶ φαίνεται. λοιπὸν ἐν πᾶσι τούτοις εὐστοχεῖν ἔργον ἐστὶ τοῦ πεπαιδευμένου. ** Appearances to the mind are of four kinds. Things either are what they appear to be; or they neither are, nor appear to be; or they are, and do not appear to be; or they are not, and yet appear to be. Rightly to aim in all these cases is the wise man's task. ** I.27.1 * ἀνθρώπῳ μέτρον πάσης πράξεως τὸ φαινόμενον. ** For human beings, the measure of every action is the impression of the senses. ** I.28.10 * Οὐσία τοῦ ἀγαθοῦ προαίρεσις ποιά, τοῦ κακοῦ προαίρεσις ποιά. ** The essence of the good is a certain kind of moral purpose, and that of the evil is a certain kind of moral purpose. ** I.29.1 * οὐ γὰρ λογάριά ἐστι τὰ λείποντα νῦν, ἀλλὰ γέμει τὰ βιβλία τῶν Στωικῶν λογαρίων. ** For what is lacking now is not quibbles; nay, the books of the Stoics are full of quibbles. ** I.29.56 ====Book II==== [[File:MS. Canon. Misc. 378 fols. 78r - Bodleian library - Altercatio Hadriani Augusti et Epicteti philosophi.jpg|thumb|right|It is impossible for anyone to begin to learn that which he thinks he already knows]] * οὐ γὰρ θάνατος ἢ πόνος φοβερόν, ἀλλὰ τὸ φοβεῖσθαι πόνον ἢ θάνατον. ** For it is not death or pain that is to be feared, but the fear of pain or death. ** Variant: For death or pain is not formidable, but the fear of pain or death. ([http://classics.mit.edu/Epictetus/discourses.2.two.html Book II, ch. 1]) ** II.1.13 * τί γάρ ἐστι παιδίον; ἄγνοια. τί ἐστι παιδίον; ἀμαθία. ἐπεὶ ὅπου οἶδεν, κἀκεῖνα οὐδὲν ἡμῶν ἔλαττον ἔχει. ** For what is a child? Ignorance. What is a child? Want of instruction. For where a child has knowledge, he is no worse than we are. ** II.1.16 * οὐ γὰρ τοῖς πολλοῖς περὶ τούτων πιστευτέον, οἳ λέγουσιν μόνοις ἐξεῖναι παιδεύεσθαι τοῖς ἐλευθέροις, ἀλλὰ τοῖς φιλοσόφοις μᾶλλον, οἳ λέγουσιν μόνους τοὺς παιδευθέντας ἐλευθέρους εἶναι. ** For on these matters we should not trust the multitude who say that none ought to be educated but the free, but rather to philosophers, who say that the educated alone are free. ** Variant: ...Only the educated are free. ** II.1.22 * μόνον τοῦτο εἰδὼς φαίνου, πῶς μήτ᾿ ἀποτύχῃς ποτὲ μήτε περιπέσῃς. ** Show that you know this only—how you may never either fail to get what you desire or fall into what you avoid. ** II.1.37 * Αἱ ὗλαι ἀδιάφοροι, ἡ δὲ χρῆσις αὐτῶν οὐκ ἀδιάφορος. ** Materials are indifferent, but the use which we make of them is not a matter of indifference. ** II.5.1 * οὕτως τὸ ζῆν ἀδιάφορον, ἡ χρῆσις οὐκ ἀδιάφορος. ** Although life is a matter of indifference, the use which you make of it is not a matter of indifference. ** II.6.2 * δείξω ὑμῖν νεῦρα φιλοσόφου. ποῖα νεῦρα; ὄρεξιν ἀναπότευκτον, ἔκκλισιν ἀπερίπτωτον, ὁρμὴν καθήκουσαν, πρόθεσιν ἐπιμελῆ, συγκατάθεσιν ἀπρόπτωτον. ** Shall I show you the sinews of a philosopher? "What sinews are those?" — A will undisappointed; evils avoided; powers daily exercised, careful resolutions; unerring decisions. ** II.8.29 * Ἴδ᾿ ἀρχὴ φιλοσοφιας· αἴσθησις μάχης τῆς πρὸς ἀλλήλους τῶν ἀνθρώπων καὶ ζήτησις τοῦ παρ᾿ ὃ γίνεται ἡ μάχη καὶ κατάγνωσις καὶ ἀπιστία πρὸς τὸ ψιλῶς δοκοῦν, ἔρευνα δέ τις περὶ τὸ δοκοῦν εἰ ὀρθῶς δοκεῖ καὶ εὕρεσις κανόνος τινός, οἷον ἐπὶ βαρῶν τὸν ζυγὸν εὕρομεν, οἷον ἐπὶ εὐθέων καὶ στρεβλῶν τὴν στάθμην. ** Look now, this is the starting point of philosophy: the recognition that different people have conflicting opinions, the rejection of mere opinion so that it comes to be viewed with mistrust, an investigation of opinion to determine whether it is rightly held, and the discovery of a standard of judgement, comparable to the balance that we have devised for the determining of weights, or the carpenter's rule for determining whether things are straight or crooked. ** II.11.13 * Ὅταν ἀγωνιῶντα ἴδω ἄνθρωπον, λέγω· οὗτος τί ποτε θέλει; εἰ μὴ τῶν οὐκ ἐφ᾿ αὑτῷ τι ἤθελεν, πῶς ἂν ἔτι ἠγωνία; ** When I see someone in anxiety, I say to myself, What can it be that this fellow wants? For if he did not want something that was outside of his control, how could he still remain in anxiety? ** II.13.1 * Τί οὖν ἔτι θαυμάζομεν εἰ περὶ μὲν τὰς ὕλας τετρίμεθα, ἐν δὲ ταῖς ἐνεργείαις ταπεινοί, ἀσχήμονες, οὐδενὸς ἄξιοι, δειλοί, ἀταλαίπωροι, ὅλοι ἀτυχήματα; ** Why, then, do we wonder any longer that, although in material things we are thoroughly experienced, nevertheless in our actions we are dejected, unseemly, worthless, cowardly, unwilling to stand the strain, utter failures one and all? ** II.16.18 * τόλμησον ἀναβλέψας πρὸς τὸν θεὸν εἰπεῖν ὅτι 'χρῶ μοι λοιπὸν εἰς ὃ ἂν θέλῃς· ὁμογνωμονῶ σοι, σός εἰμι· οὐδὲν παραιτοῦμαι τῶν σοὶ δοκούντων· ὅπου θέλεις, ἄγε· ἣν θέλεις ἐσθῆτα περίθες.' ** Be bold to look towards God and say, "Use me henceforward for whatever you want; I am of one mind with you; I am yours; I refuse nothing that seems good to you; lead me where you will; wrap me in what clothes you will." ** II.16.42 * Τί πρῶτόν ἐστιν ἔργον τοῦ φιλοσοφοῦντος; ἀποβαλεῖν οἴησιν· ἀμήχανον γάρ, ἅ τις εἰδέναι οἴεται, ταῦτα ἄρξασθαι μανθανειν. ** What is the first business of one who practices philosophy? To get rid of self-conceit. For it is impossible for anyone to begin to learn that which he thinks he already knows. ** II.17.1 * Πᾶσα ἕξις καὶ δύναμις ὑπὸ τῶν καταλλήλων ἔργων συνέχεται καὶ αὔξεται, ἡ περιπατητικὴ ὑπὸ τοῦ περιπατεῖν, ἡ τροχαστικὴ ὑπὸ τοῦ τρέχειν. ἂν θέλῃς ἀναγνωστικὸς εἶναι, ἀναγίγνωσκε· ἂν γραφικόν, γράφε. ** Every habit and faculty is confirmed and strengthened by the corresponding actions, that of walking by walking, that of running by running. If you would be a good reader, read; if a writer, write. ** II.18.1 * καθόλου οὖν εἴ τι ποιεῖν ἐθέλῃς, ἑκτικὸν ποίει αὐτό· εἴ τι μὴ ποιεῖν ἐθέλῃς, μὴ ποίει αὐτό, ἀλλ᾿ ἔθισον ἄλλο τι πράττειν μᾶλλον ἀντ᾿ αὐτοῦ. ** Whatever you would make habitual, practice it; and if you would not make a thing habitual, do not practice it, but accustom yourself to something else. ** II.18.4 * τὸ πρῶτον δ᾿ ὑπὸ τῆς ὀξύτητος μὴ συναρπασθῇς, ἀλλ᾿ εἰπὲ 'ἔκδεξαί με μικρόν, φαντασία· ἄφες ἴδω τίς εἶ καὶ περὶ τίνος, ἄφες σε δοκιμάσω.' ** Be not swept off your feet by the vividness of the impression, but say, "Impression, wait for me a little. Let me see what you are and what you represent. Let me try you." ** II.18.24 ** Reported in ''Bartlett's Quotations'' (1919) as "Be not hurried away by excitement, but say, "Semblance, wait for me a little". * δείξατέ μοι τινα νοσοῦντα καὶ εὐτυχοῦντα, κινδυνεύοντα καὶ εὐτυχοῦντα, ἀποθνῄσκοντα καὶ εὐτυχοῦντα, πεφυγαδευμένον καὶ εὐτυχοῦντα, ἀδοξοῦντα καὶ εὐτυχοῦντα. δείξατ᾿· ἐπιθυμῶ τινα νὴ τοὺς θεοὺς ἰδεῖν Στωικόν. ** Show me someone who is ill and yet happy, in danger and yet happy, dying and yet happy, exiled and yet happy. Show me such a person; by the gods, how greatly I long to see a Stoic! ** II.19.24 * Τοῖς ὑγιέσι καὶ ἐναργέσιν ἐξ ἀνάγκης καὶ οἱ ἀντιλέγοντες προσχρῶνται. ** The propositions which are true and evident must of necessity be employed even by those who contradict them. ** II.20.1 * Τῶν περὶ αὑτοὺς κακῶν τὰ μὲν ῥᾳδίως ὁμολογοῦσιν ἄνθρωποι, τὰ δ᾿ οὐ ῥᾳδίως. ** Some of their faults people readily admit, but others not so readily. ** II.21.1 * τὰ παιδία τὰ πιθανὰ καὶ δριμέα τίνα οὐκ ἐκκαλεῖται πρὸς τὸ συμπαίζειν αὐτοῖς καὶ συνέρπειν καὶ πρὸς τὸ συμψελλίζειν; ** Who is not tempted by attractive and wide-awake children to join their sports, and crawl on all fours with them, and talk baby talk with them? ** II.24.18 ====Book III==== [[File:Epicteto, y Phocilides en español con consonantes, 1635, frontispiece - detail.png|thumb|right|For freedom is not acquired by satisfying yourself with what you desire, but by destroying your desire.]] * γνῶθι πρῶτον τίς εἶ καὶ οὕτως κόσμει σεαυτόν. ** Know, first, who you are, and then adorn yourself accordingly. ** III.1.24 * τὶ γάρ ἐστι τὸ κλαίειν καὶ οἰμώζειν; δόγμα. τί δυστυχία; δόγμα. τί στάσις, τί διχόνοια, τί μέμψις, τί κατηγορία, τί ἀσέβεια, τί φλυαρία; ταῦτα πάντα δόγματά ἐστι. ** Why, what is weeping and sighing? A judgement. What is misfortune? A judgement. What are strife, disagreement, fault-finding, accusing, impiety, foolishness? They are all judgements. ** III.3.18–19 * τί οὖν δεῖ λέγειν αὐτὸν ἐφ᾿ ἑκάστου τῶν τραχέων; ὅτι 'ἕνεκα τούτου ἐγυμναζόμην, ἐπὶ τοῦτο ἤσκουν'. ** What should a philosopher say, then, in the face of each of the hardships of life? "It was for this that I've been training myself, it was for this that I was practising." ** III.10.7 * δύο γὰρ ταῦτα πρόχειρα ἔχειν δεῖ· ὅτι ἔξω τῆς προαιρέσεως οὐδέν ἐστιν οὔτε ἀγαθὸν οὔτε κακὸν καὶ ὅτι οὐ δεῖ προηγεῖσθαι τῶν πραγμάτων, ἀλλ᾿ ἐπακολουθεῖν. ** Two principles we should always have ready — that there is nothing good or evil save in the will; and that we are not to lead events, but to follow them. ** III.10.18 * Ἑκάστου ἔργου σκόπει τὰ καθηγούμενα καὶ τὰ ἀκόλουθα καὶ οὕτως ἔρχου ἐπ᾿ αὐτό. ** In each separate thing that you do consider the matters which come first, and those which follow after, and only then approach the thing itself. ** III.15.1 (= Enchiridion 29.1). * δοκεῖς ὅτι ταῦτα ποιῶν δύνασαι φιλοσοφεῖν; δοκεῖς ὅτι δύνασαι ὡσαύτως ἐσθίειν, ὡσαύτως πίνειν, ὁμοίως ὀργίζεσθαι, ὁμοίως δυσαρεστεῖν; ** Do you suppose that you can do the things you do now, and yet be a philosopher? Do you suppose that you can eat in the same fashion, drink in the same fashion, give way to anger and to irritation, just as you do now? ** III.15.10 (= Enchiridion 29.10). * παῖς γὰρ ἐν μουσικοῖς ὁ ἄμουσος, ἐν γραμματικοῖς ὁ ἀγράμματος, ἐν βίῳ ὁ ἀπαίδευτος. ** For he who is unmusical is a child in music; he who is without letters is a child in learning; he who is untaught, is a child in life. ** III.19.6 * καὶ γὰρ τοῦτο λίαν κομψὸν τῷ Κυνικῷ παραπέπλεκται· δέρεσθαι αὐτὸν δεῖ ὡς ὄνον καὶ δερόμενον φιλεῖν αὐτοὺς τοὺς δέροντας ὡς πατέρα πάντων, ὡς ἀδελφόν. ** For this too is a very pleasant strand woven into the Cynic's pattern of life; he must needs be flogged like an ass, and while he is being flogged he must love the men who flog him, as though he were the father or brother of them all. ** III.22.54 * Τίς εἶναι θέλεις, σαυτῷ πρῶτον ἐιπέ· εἶθ᾿ οὕτως ποίει ἃ ποιεῖς. ** First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do. ** III.23.1 * Τὸ ἄλλου παρὰ φύσιν σοὶ κακὸν μὴ γινέσθω· οὐ γὰρ συνταπεινοῦσθαι πέφυκας οὐδὲ συνατυχεῖν, ἀλλὰ συνευτυχεῖν. ἂν δέ τις ἀτυχῇ, μέμνησο, ὅτι παρ᾿ αὑτὸν ἀτυχεῖ. ὁ γὰρ θεὸς πάντας ἀνθρώπους ἐπὶ τὸ εὐδαιμονεῖν, ἐπὶ τὸ εὐσταθεῖν ἐποίησεν. ** Let not that which in the case of another is contrary to nature become an evil for you; for you are born not to be humiliated along with others, nor to share in their misfortunes, but to share in their good fortune. If, however, someone is unfortunate, remember that his misfortune concerns himself. For God made all mankind to be happy, to be serene. ** III.24.1 * οὐκ οἶσθ᾿, ὅτι ἀνὴρ καλὸς κἀγαθὸς οὐδὲν ποιεῖ τοῦ δόξαι ἕνεκα, ἀλλὰ τοῦ πεπρᾶχθαι καλῶς; ** Don't you know that a good and excellent person does nothing for the sake of appearances, but only for the sake of having acted right? ** III.24.50 ====Book IV==== * ἐκεῖνο δέ μοι εἰπέ· οὐδέποτ᾿ ἠράσθης τινός; [. . .] Οὐδέποθ᾿ ὑπὸ τῆς ἐρωμένης ἐπετάγης οὐδὲν ὧν οὐκ ἤθελες; οὐδέποτέ σου τὸ δουλάριον ἐκολάκευσας; οὐδέποτ᾿ αὐτοῦ τοὺς πόδας κατεφίλησας; καίτοι τοῦ Καίσαρος ἄν σέ τις ἀναγκάσῃ, ὕβριν αὐτὸ ἡγῇ καὶ ὑπερβολὴν τυραννίδος. τί οὖν ἄλλο ἐστὶ δουλεία; ** But tell me this: did you never love any person? [. . .] Were you never commanded by the person beloved to do something which you did not wish to do? Have you never flattered your little slave? Have you never kissed her feet? And yet if any man compelled you to kiss Caesar's feet, you would think it an insult and excessive tyranny. What else then is slavery? (tr. [https://books.google.com/books?id=7e0NAAAAYAAJ&pg=PA296 G. Long, 1890]) ** IV.1.15–17 * τί γάρ ἐστιν, ὃ ζητεῖ πᾶς ἄνθρωπος; εὐσταθῆσαι, εὐδαιμονῆσαι, πάντα ὡς θέλει ποιεῖν, μὴ κωλύεσθαι, μὴ ἀναγκάζεσθαι. ** For what is it that everyone is seeking? To live securely, to be happy, to do everything as they wish to do, not to be hindered, not to be subject to compulsion. ** IV.1.46 * οὐ γὰρ ἐκπληρώσει τῶν ἐπιθυμουμένων ἐλευθερία παρασκευάζεται, ἀλλὰ ἀνασκευῇ τῆς ἐπιθυμίας. ** For freedom is not acquired by satisfying yourself with what you desire, but by destroying your desire. ** IV.1.175 * ὀλίγου δὲ χρεία ἐστὶ πρὸς τὴν ἀπώλειαν τὴν πάντων καὶ ἀνατροπήν, μικρᾶς ἀποστροφῆς τοῦ λόγου. ** Little is needed to ruin and upset everything, only a slight aberration from reason. ** IV.3.4 ===''The Enchiridion''=== [[File:Epictetus portrait from Les Morales de Plutarque, Sénèque, Socrate et Epictète, 1653, Indian ink.png|thumb|right|It isn't the things themselves that disturb people, but the judgements that they form about them.&mdash;''Enchiridion'' 5]] :<small> Greek text cited from G. Boter, ''Epictetus. Encheiridion'' (Berlin-New York, 2007).</small> :<small> Translations cited from E. Carter, [https://archive.org/details/bim_eighteenth-century_all-the-works-of-epictet_epictetus_1759/mode/2up ''All the Works of Epictetus''] (Dublin, 1759), unless otherwise noted.</small> * Τῶν ὄντων τὰ μέν ἐστιν ἐφ᾿ ἡμῖν, τὰ δὲ οὐκ ἐφ᾿ ἡμῖν. ἐφ᾿ ἡμῖν μὲν ὑπόληψις, ὁρμή, ὄρεξις, ἔκκλισις, καὶ ἑνὶ λόγῳ ὅσα ἡμέτερα ἔργα· οὐκ ἐφ᾿ ἡμῖν δὲ τὸ σῶμα, ἡ κτῆσις, δόξαι, ἀρχαί, καὶ ἑνὶ λόγῳ ὅσα οὐχ ἡμέτερα ἔργα. ** Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions. ** 1.1 * Ταράσσει τοὺς ἀνθρώπους οὐ τὰ πράγματα, ἀλλὰ τὰ περὶ τῶν πραγμάτων δόγματα. ** Men are disturbed, not by things, but by the principles and notions which they form concerning things. ** 5a * Απαιδεύτου ἔργον τὸ ἄλλοις ἐγκαλεῖν ἐφ᾿ οἷς αὐτὸς πράσσει κακῶς· ἠργμένου παιδεύεσθαι τὸ ἑαυτῷ· πεπαιδευμένου τὸ μήτε ἄλλῳ μήτε ἑαυτῷ. ** It is the act of an ill-instructed man to blame others for his own bad condition; it is the act of one who has begun to be instructed, to lay the blame on himself; and of one whose instruction is completed, neither to blame another, nor himself. ** 5b (tr. [https://archive.org/details/discoursesofepic033057mbp/page/380/mode/2up G. Long, 1888]) * Ἐφ' ἑκάστου τῶν προσπιπτόντων μέμνησο ἐπιστρέφων ἐπὶ σεαυτὸν ζητεῖν, τίνα δύναμιν ἔχεις πρὸς τὴν χρῆσιν αὐτοῦ. ἐὰν καλὸν ἴδῃς ἢ καλήν, εὑρήσεις δύναμιν πρὸς ταῦτα ἐγκράτειαν· ἐὰν πόνος προσφέρηται, εὑρήσεις καρτερίαν· ἂν λοιδορία, εὑρήσεις ἀνεξικακίαν. καὶ οὕτως ἐθιζόμενόν σε οὐ συναρπάσουσιν αἱ φαντασίαι. ** With every accident, ask yourself what abilities you have for making a proper use of it. If you see an attractive person, you will find that self-restraint is the ability you have against your desire. If you are in pain, you will find fortitude. If you hear unpleasant language, you will find patience. And thus habituated, the appearances of things will not hurry you away along with them. ** 10 * Μέμνησο ὅτι ὡς ἐν συμποσίῳ σε δεῖ ἀναστρέφεσθαι. περιφερόμενον γέγονέ τι κατὰ σέ· ἐκτείνας τὴν χεῖρα κοσμίως μετάλαβε. παρέρχεται· μὴ κάτεχε. οὔπω ἥκει· μὴ ἐπίβαλλε πόρρω τὴν ὄρεξιν, ἀλλὰ περίμενε μέχρις ἂν γένηται κατὰ σέ. οὕτω πρὸς τέκνα, οὕτω πρὸς γυναῖκα, οὕτω πρὸς ἀρχάς, οὕτω πρὸς πλοῦτον. ** Remember that you ought to behave in life as you would at a banquet. As something is being passed around it comes to you; stretch out your hand, take a portion of it politely. It passes on; do not detain it. Or it has not come to you yet; do not project your desire to meet it, but wait until it comes in front of you. So act toward children, so toward a wife, so toward office, so toward wealth. ** 15 * Μέμνησο ὅτι οὐχ ὁ λοιδορῶν ἢ τύπτων ὑβρίζει, ἀλλὰ τὸ δόγμα τὸ περὶ τούτων ὡς ὑβριζόντων. ὅταν οὖν ἐρεθίσῃ σέ τις, ἴσθι ὅτι ἡ σή σε ὑπόληψις ἠρέθισε. ** Remember that it is not he who gives abuse or blows who affronts, but the view we take of these things as insulting. When, therefore, any one provokes you, be assured that it is your own opinion which provokes you. ** 20 * Εἰ μὲν τὸ σῶμά σού τις ἐπέτρεπε τῷ ἀπαντήσαντι, ἠγανάκτεις ἄν· ὅτι δὲ σὺ τὴν γνώμην τὴν σεαυτοῦ ἐπιτρέπεις τῷ τυχόντι, ἵνα, ἐὰν λοιδορήσηταί σοι, ταραχθῇ ἐκείνη καὶ συγχυθῇ, οὐκ αἰσχύνῃ τούτου ἕνεκα; ** If a person gave your body to any stranger he met on his way, you would certainly be angry. And do you feel no shame in handing over your own mind to be confused and mystified by anyone who happens to verbally attack you? (28) [tr. Elizabeth Carter] ** 28 *** Alternative translation ([http://books.google.com/books?id=9WRzxtTBkPgC&lpg=PA19&ots=hXwTf1JmW6&pg=PA19 N. P. White, 1983]): *** If someone turned your body over to just any person who happened to meet you, you would be angry. But are you not ashamed that you turn over your own faculty of judgment to whoever happens along, so that if he abuses you it is upset and confused? * ἐάν τίς σοι ἀπαγγείλῃ ὅτι ὁ δεῖνά σε κακῶς λέγει, μὴ ἀπολογοῦ πρὸς τὰ λεχθέντα, ἀλλὰ ἀποκρίνου διότι "ἠγνόει γὰρ τὰ ἄλλα τὰ προσόντα μοι κακά, ἐπεὶ οὐκ ἂν ταῦτα μόνα ἔλεγεν." ** If a man has reported to you, that a certain person speaks ill of you, do not make any defense (answer) to what has been told you: but reply, The man did not know the rest of my faults, for he would not have mentioned these only. ** 33.9 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/discoursesofepic033057mbp/page/394/mode/2up G. Long, 1888]) * Ὅταν τι διαγνοὺς ὅτι ποιητέον ἐστὶ ποιῇς, μηδέποτε φύγῃς ὀφθῆναι πράσσων αὐτό, κἂν ἀλλοῖόν τι οἱ πολλοὶ μέλλωσι περὶ αὐτοῦ ὑπολαμβάνειν. εἰ μὲν γὰρ οὐκ ὀρθῶς ποιεῖς, αὐτὸ τὸ ἔργον φεῦγε· εἰ δὲ ὀρθῶς, τί φοβῇ τοὺς ἐπιπλήξοντας οὐκ ὀρθῶς; ** When you do anything from a clear judgment that it ought to be done, never shun the being seen to do it, even though the world should make a wrong supposition about it; for, if you don't act right, shun the action itself; but, if you do, why are you afraid of those who censure you wrongly? ** 35 * Πᾶν πρᾶγμα δύο ἔχει λαβάς, τὴν μὲν φορητήν, τὴν δὲ ἀφόρητον. ὁ ἀδελφὸς ἐὰν ἀδικῇ, ἐντεῦθεν αὐτὸ μὴ λάμβανε ὅτι ἀδικεῖ (αὕτη γὰρ ἡ λαβή ἐστιν αὐτοῦ οὐ φορητή), ἀλλ᾿ ἐκεῖθεν μᾶλλον ὅτι ἀδελφός, ὅτι σύντροφος, καὶ λήψῃ αὐτὸ καθ᾿ ὃ φορητόν ἐστιν. ** Everything has two handles, the one by which it may be carried, the other by which it cannot. If your brother acts unjustly, don't lay hold on the action by the handle of his injustice, for by that it cannot be carried; but by the opposite, that he is your brother, that he was brought up with you; and thus you will lay hold on it, as it is to be carried. ** 43 * Οὗτοι οἱ λόγοι ἀσύνακτοι· "ἐγώ σου πλουσιώτερός εἰμι, ἐγώ σου ἄρα κρείττων"· "ἐγώ σου λογιώτερος, ἐγώ σου ἄρα κρείττων". ἐκεῖνοι δὲ μᾶλλον συνακτικοί· "ἐγώ σου πλουσιώτερός εἰμι, ἡ ἐμὴ ἄρα κτῆσις τῆς σῆς κρείττων"· "ἐγώ σου λογιώτερος, ἡ ἐμὴ ἄρα λέξις τῆς σῆς κρείττων". σὺ δέ γε οὔτε κτῆσις εἶ οὔτε λέξις. ** These reasonings are unconnected: "I am richer than you, therefore I am better"; "I am more eloquent than you, therefore I am better." The connection is rather this: "I am richer than you, therefore my property is greater than yours;" "I am more eloquent than you, therefore my style is better than yours." But you, after all, are neither property nor style. ** 44 * Λούεταί τις ταχέως· μὴ εἴπῃς ὅτι "κακῶς", ἀλλ᾿ ὅτι "ταχέως". πίνει τις πολὺν οἶνον· μὴ εἴπῃς ὅτι "κακῶς", ἀλλ᾿ ὅτι "πολύν". πρὶν ἢ γὰρ διαγνῶναι τὸ δόγμα, πόθεν οἶσθα εἰ κακῶς; οὕτως οὐ συμβήσεταί σοι ἄλλων μὲν φαντασίας καταληπτικὰς λαμβάνειν, ἄλλοις δὲ συγκατατίθεσθαι. ** Does anyone bathe in a mighty little time? Don't say that he does it ill, but in a mighty little time. Does anyone drink a great quantity of wine? Don't say that he does ill, but that he drinks a great quantity. For, unless you perfectly understand the principle from which anyone acts, how should you know if he acts ill? Thus you will not run the hazard of assenting to any appearances but such as you fully comprehend. ** 45 * Μηδαμοῦ σεαυτὸν εἴπῃς φιλόσοφον, μηδὲ λάλει τὸ πολὺ ἐν ἰδιώταις περὶ θεωρημάτων, ἀλλὰ ποίει τὰ ἀπὸ τῶν θεωρημάτων. οἷον ἐν συμποσίῳ μὴ λέγε πῶς δεῖ ἐσθίειν, ἀλλ᾿ ἔσθιε ὡς δεῖ. μέμνησο γὰρ ὅτι οὕτως ἀφῃρήκει πανταχόθεν Σωκράτης τὸ ἐπιδεικτικὸν ὥστε ἤρχοντο πρὸς αὐτὸν βουλόμενοι φιλοσόφοις ὑπ᾿ αὐτοῦ συσταθῆναι, κἀκεῖνος ἀπῆγεν αὐτούς· οὕτως ἠνείχετο παρορώμενος. κἂν περὶ θεωρήματός τινος ἐν ἰδιώταις ἐμπίπτῃ λόγος, σιώπα τὸ πολύ· μέγας γὰρ ὁ κίνδυνος εὐθὺς ἐξεμέσαι ἃ οὐκ ἔπεψας. καὶ ὅταν εἴπῃ σοί τις ὅτι οὐδὲν οἶσθα καὶ σὺ μὴ δηχθῇς, τότε ἴσθι ὅτι ἄρχῃ τοῦ ἔργου. ἐπεὶ καὶ τὰ πρόβατα οὐ χόρτον φέροντα τοῖς ποιμέσιν ἐπιδεικνύει πόσον ἔφαγεν, ἀλλὰ τὴν νομὴν ἔσω πέψαντα ἔρια ἔξω φέρει καὶ γάλα· καὶ σὺ τοίνυν μὴ τὰ θεωρήματα τοῖς ἰδιώταις ἐπιδείκνυε, ἀλλ᾿ ἀπ᾿ αὐτῶν πεφθέντων τὰ ἔργα. ** Never call yourself a philosopher, nor talk a great deal among the unlearned about theorems, but act conformably to them. Thus, at an entertainment, don't talk how persons ought to eat, but eat as you ought. For remember that in this manner [[Socrates]] also universally avoided all ostentation. And when persons came to him and desired to be recommended by him to philosophers, he took and recommended them, so well did he bear being overlooked. So that if ever any talk should happen among the unlearned concerning philosophic theorems, be you, for the most part, silent. For there is great danger in immediately throwing out what you have not digested. And, if anyone tells you that you know nothing, and you are not nettled at it, then you may be sure that you have begun your business. For sheep don't throw up the grass to show the shepherds how much they have eaten; but, inwardly digesting their food, they outwardly produce wool and milk. Thus, therefore, do you likewise not show theorems to the unlearned, but the actions produced by them after they have been digested. ** 46.1–2 * Ὅσα προτίθεσαι, τούτοις ὡς νόμοις ἔμμενε, ὡς ἀσεβήσων ἂν παραβῇς τι τούτων. τί δὲ ἐρεῖ τις περί σου, μὴ ἐπιστρέφου· τοῦτο γὰρ οὐκέτι ἐστὶ σόν. Εἰς ποῖον ἔτι χρόνον ἀναβάλλῃ τὸ τῶν βελτίστων ἀξιοῦν σεαυτὸν καὶ ἐν μηδενὶ παραβαίνειν τὸν αἱροῦντα λόγον; παρείληφας τὰ θεωρήματα· οἷς ἔδει συμβάλλειν συμβέβληκας. ποῖον ἔτι διδάσκαλον προσδοκᾷς, ἵνα εἰς ἐκεῖνον ὑπερθῇ τὴν ἐπανόρθωσιν ποιῆσαι τὴν σεαυτοῦ; [. . .] πᾶν τὸ βέλτιστον φαινόμενον ἔστω σοι νόμος ἀπαράβατος. ** Whatever moral rules you have deliberately proposed to yourself abide by them as they were laws, and as if you would be guilty of impiety by violating any of them. Don't regard what anyone says of you, for this, after all, is no concern of yours. How long, then, will you put off thinking yourself worthy of the highest improvements and follow the distinctions of reason? You have received the philosophical theorems, with which you ought to be familiar, and you have been familiar with them. What other master, then, do you wait for, to throw upon that the delay of reforming yourself? [. . .] Let whatever appears to be the best be to you an inviolable law. ** 50–51.2 * Ὁ πρῶτος καὶ ἀναγκαιότατος τόπος ἐστὶν ἐν φιλοσοφίᾳ ὁ τῆς χρήσεως τῶν δογμάτων, οἷον ὁ τοῦ μὴ ψεύδεσθαι· ὁ δεύτερος ὁ τῶν ἀποδείξεων, οἷον πόθεν ὅτι οὐ δεῖ ψεύδεσθαι· τρίτος ὁ αὐτῶν τούτων βεβαιωτικὸς καὶ διαρθρωτικός, οἷον πόθεν ὅτι τοῦτο ἀπόδειξις· τί γάρ ἐστιν ἀπόδειξις, τί ἀκολουθία, τί μάχη, τί ἀληθές, τί ψεῦδος; οὐκοῦν ὁ μὲν τρίτος τόπος ἀναγκαῖος διὰ τὸν δεύτερον, ὁ δὲ δεύτερος διὰ τὸν πρῶτον· ὁ δὲ ἀναγκαιότατος καὶ ὅπου ἀναπαύεσθαι δεῖ, ὁ πρῶτος. ἡμεῖς δὲ ἔμπαλιν ποιοῦμεν· ἐν γὰρ τῷ τρίτῳ τόπῳ διατρίβομεν καὶ περὶ ἐκεῖνόν ἐστιν ἡμῖν ἡ πᾶσα σπουδή, τοῦ δὲ πρώτου παντελῶς ἀμελοῦμεν. ** The first and most necessary topic in philosophy is that of the use of moral theorems, such as, "We ought not to lie;" the second is that of demonstrations, such as, "What is the origin of our obligation not to lie;" the third gives strength and articulation to the other two, such as, "What is the origin of this is a demonstration." For what is demonstration? What is consequence? What contradiction? What truth? What falsehood? The third topic, then, is necessary on the account of the second, and the second on the account of the first. But the most necessary, and that whereon we ought to rest, is the first. But we act just on the contrary. For we spend all our time on the third topic, and employ all our diligence about that, and entirely neglect the first. ** 52.1–2 * Ἐπὶ παντὸς πρόχειρα ἑκτέον ταῦτα·<br> <br>"Ἄγου δέ μ᾿, ὦ Ζεῦ, καὶ σὺ καὶ ἡ Πεπρωμένη,<br>ὅποι ποθ᾿ ὑμῖν εἰμι διατεταγμένος·<br>ὡς ἕψομαί γ’ ἄοκνος· ἢν δὲ μὴ θέλω<br>κακὸς γενόμενος, οὐδὲν ἧττον ἕψομαι."<br> <br>"Ὅστις δ᾿ ἀνάγκῃ συγκεχώρηκεν καλῶς,<br>σοφὸς παρ᾿ ἡμῖν καὶ τὰ θεῖ᾿ ἐπίσταται."<br> <br>"Ἀλλ’, ὦ Κρίτων, εἰ ταύτῃ τοῖς θεοῖς φίλον, ταύτῃ γινέσθω."<br>"Ἐμὲ δὲ Ἄνυτος καὶ Μέλητος ἀποκτεῖναι μὲν δύνανται, βλάψαι δὲ οὔ." ** Upon all occasions we ought to have these maxims ready at hand:<br> <br>''Conduct me, Jove, and you, O Destiny,<br>Wherever your decrees have fixed my station.''<br> <br>''Whoever yields properly to Fate, is deemed<br>Wise among men, and knows the laws of heaven.''<br> <br>And this third:<br> <br>''O Crito, if it thus pleases the gods, thus let it be.<br>Anytus and Melitus may kill me indeed, but hurt me they cannot.'' ** 53 (the quoted maxims are: Cleanthes, fragment 527 SVF; Euripides, fragment 965.5–6 TrGF; Plato, ''Crito'' 43d & ''Apology of Socrates'' 30c–d) ===''Fragments''=== Other Roman writings contain quotes and passages purporting to come from Epictetus. Among the ''Fragments'', twenty-nine are considered genuine and another eight are considered doubtful. (There are also some Roman anthologies of quotes dating from around the 6th-century which list over one-hundred Epictetus 'quotations'. These [https://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus%3Atext%3A1999.01.0236%3Atext%3Dfrag%3Abook%3D0 later fragments] appear in 18th and 19th century translations of Epictetus, but are now rejected by modern scholarship.) ====Genuine fragments==== * Ψυχάριον εἶ βαστάζον νεκρόν, ὡς Ἐπίκτητος ἔλεγεν. ** You are a little soul carrying a corpse around, as Epictetus used to say. ** Fragment 26 ([https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Epictetus,_the_Discourses_as_reported_by_Arrian,_the_Manual,_and_Fragments/Fragments Oldfather translation]). This fragment originates from Marcus Aurelius, ''Meditations'', IV. 41. {{Disputed begin}} ====Doubtful fragments==== * Οὔτε ναῦν ἐξ ἑνὸς ἀγκυρίου οὔτε βίον ἐκ μιᾶς ἐλπίδος ἁρμοστέον. ** We ought neither to fasten our ship to one small anchor nor our life to a single hope. ** Fragment 30 ([https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Epictetus,_the_Discourses_as_reported_by_Arrian,_the_Manual,_and_Fragments/Fragments Oldfather translation]) * Τῶν ἡδέων τὰ σπανιώτατα γινόμενα μάλιστα τέρπει. ** Those of our pleasures which come most rarely give the greatest delight. ** Fragment 33 ([https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Epictetus,_the_Discourses_as_reported_by_Arrian,_the_Manual,_and_Fragments/Fragments Oldfather translation]) * Οὐδεὶς ἐλεύθερος ἑαυτοῦ μὴ κρατῶν. ** No man is free who is not master of himself. ** Fragment 35 ([https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Epictetus,_the_Discourses_as_reported_by_Arrian,_the_Manual,_and_Fragments/Fragments Oldfather translation]) {{Disputed end}} {{Misattributed begin}} ==Misattributed== *The greater the difficulty, the more glory in surmounting it. Skilful pilots gain their reputation from storms and tempests. **This quote is frequently attributed to Epictetus, e.g. by Brigid Delaney, ''[https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/mar/18/remaining-calm-in-adversity-what-stoicism-can-teach-us-during-the-coronavirus-pandemic How not to panic during the coronavirus pandemic: welcome hard times like a Stoic]'', The Guardian, 17 March 2020. The quote is also frequently attributed to [[Epicurus]]. In fact this quotation first appears as two separated sentences in "[https://books.google.com/books?id=C1tkNyJWuwEC&pg=PA175 An Essay on the Vindication of Epicurus and his Doctrine]" (1712) by [[w:Charles de Saint-Évremond|Charles de Saint-Évremond]]: "the greater the difficulty the more glory in surmounting it. ... Skilful pilots gain their reputation from storms and tempests." *Other people’s views and troubles can be contagious. Don’t sabotage yourself by unwittingly adopting negative, unproductive attitudes through your associations with others. **This quote is frequently attributed to Epictetus, e.g. by Brigid Delaney, ''[https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/nov/22/stoicism-book-news-brigid-delaney Six ways to make your life easier and more peaceful – by using stoic principles]'', The Guardian, 22 November 2023. This quotation originates from the 1995 book: ''The Art of Living: the classic manual on virtue, happiness, and effectiveness'', page 23, by Sharon Lebell, a book which "interprets" Epictetus. * You become what you give your attention to. ** This quote has been attributed to Epictetus since around 2016. (e.g. in this [https://web.archive.org/web/20220321040332/https://www.thephilosophyofeverything.com/blog/2016/6/30/the-philosophy-of-attention thephilosophyofeverything blog].) Sometimes appears in an extended form, e.g. by [https://web.archive.org/web/20230611010209/https://dailystoic.com/you-become-what-you-give-your-attention-to/ The Daily Stoic]: "You become what you give your attention to. If you yourself don't choose what thoughts and images you expose yourself to, someone else will." These quotations originate from the 1995 book: ''The Art of Living: the classic manual on virtue, happiness, and effectiveness'', pages 52–53, by Sharon Lebell. * Tentative efforts lead to tentative outcomes. Therefore, give yourself fully to your endeavors. Decide to construct your character through excellent actions, and determine to pay the price for a worthy goal. The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. Remain steadfast... and one day you will build something that endures, something worthy of your potential. ** Has been ascribed to Epictetus since the late 1990s, (e.g. [https://books.google.com/books?id=7SBbAAAAYAAJ&q=%22Therefore,+give+yourself+fully+to+your+endeavors%22 The Nassau Herald (1999), page 220]). The first sentence ("Tentative efforts lead to tentative outcomes") appears in the 1995 book: ''The Art of Living: the classic manual on virtue, happiness, and effectiveness'', page 39, by Sharon Lebell. * Don't explain your philosophy. Embody it. ** Has been ascribed to Epictetus since around 2016, (e.g. on [https://web.archive.org/web/20180925074300/https://dailystoic.com/stoic-quotes/ this Daily Stoic web page]). It may be an attempt to summarise the start of [https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Epictetus,_the_Discourses_as_reported_by_Arrian,_the_Manual,_and_Fragments/Manual#46 Enchiridion 46]: "On no occasion call yourself a philosopher, and do not, for the most part, talk among laymen about your philosophic principles, but do what follows from your principles." {{Misattributed end}} == Quotes about Epictetus == * Οὔτε συνέγραψα ἐγὼ τοὺς Ἐπικτήτου λόγους οὕτως ὅπως ἄν τις συγγράψειε τὰ τοιαῦτα οὔτε ἐξήνεγκα εἰς ἀνθρώπους αὐτός, ὅς γε οὐδὲ συγγράψαι φημί. ὅσα δὲ ἤκουον αὐτοῦ λέγοντος, ταῦτα αὐτὰ ἐπειράθην αὐτοῖς ὀνόμασιν ὡς οἷόν τε ἦν γραψάμενος ὑπομνήματα εἰς ὕστερον ἐμαυτῷ διαφυλάξαι τῆς ἐκείνου διανοίας καὶ παρρησίας. ἔστι δὴ τοιαῦτα ὥσπερ εἰκὸς ὁποῖα ἄν τις αὐτόθεν ὁρμηθεὶς εἴποι πρὸς ἕτερον, οὐχ ὁποῖα ἂν ἐπὶ τῷ ὕστερον ἐντυγχάνειν τινὰς αὐτοῖς συγγράφοι. ** I have not composed these [[w:Discourses of Epictetus|Words of Epictetus]] as one might be said to "compose" books of this kind, nor have I of my own act published them to the world; indeed, I acknowledge that I have not "composed" them at all. But whatever I heard him say I used to write down, word for word, as best I could, endeavouring to preserve it as a memorial, for my own future use, of his way of thinking and the frankness of his speech. They are, accordingly, as you might expect, such remarks as one man might make off-hand to another, not such as he would compose for men to read in after time. ** {{w|Arrian}}, [https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Epictetus,_the_Discourses_as_reported_by_Arrian,_the_Manual,_and_Fragments/Book_1#cite_ref-1 Prefatory letter to Lucius Gellius on The Discourses (Oldfather translation)] * The manner in which Epictetus, [[Michel_de_Montaigne|Montaigne]], and Salomon de Tultie wrote, is the most usual, the most suggestive, the most remembered, and the oftener quoted; because it is entirely composed of thoughts born from the common talk of life. ** Note: Salomon de Tultie was a pseudonym adopted by Pascal as the author of the ''Provincial Letters''. ** [[Blaise Pascal]], [[Blaise_Pascal#Pens.C3.A9es_.281669.29|Pensées]], [http://www.gutenberg.org/files/18269/18269-h/18269-h.htm#p_18 18] (1669). * The phenomenon of the [[will]] [in Epictetus ] [...] a different mental ability whose chief characteristic is that it speaks an imperative even when it commands ''nothing'' but our ability to think. The goal is to annihilate reality insofar it concerns me. ** [[Hannah Arendt]], [https://yewtu.be/watch?v=cXH9KyU8v0M Lecture on Thinking] * Epictetus is a thinker we cannot forget, once we have encountered him, because he gets under our skin. He provokes and he irritates, but he deals so trenchantly with life’s everyday challenges that no one who knows his work can simply dismiss it as theoretically invalid or practically useless. In times of stress, as modern Epictetans have attested, his recommendations make their presence felt. ** {{w|A. A. Long}}, ''Epictetus: A Stoic and Socratic Guide to Life'', page 1. Oxford University Press == External links == {{wikipedia}} * [http://www.iep.utm.edu/e/epictetu.htm Epictetus] at The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy * [http://classics.mit.edu/Epictetus/discourses.html Discourses] at The Internet Classics Archive * [http://theosophy.org/tlodocs/teachers/Epictetus.htm Epictetus] at Theosophy Library Online * [http://www.san.beck.org/Epictetus.html The Encheiridion] online * [http://epictetus.org/ Epictetus Research] {{Ancient Greek schools of philosophy}} [[Category:Philosophers from Greece]] [[Category:Stoics]] [[Category:1st century births]] [[Category:2nd century deaths]] [[Category:Slaves]] ps6yqz6q8c89bavkwnbla3vkjbigg0g 0 472 3942113 3939019 2026-05-17T17:49:05Z Ficaia 3085955 added [[Category:People from Hampshire]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]] 3942113 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:JaneAustenSilhouette.svg|thumb|right|There is a [[stubbornness]] about me that never can bear to be [[frightened]] at the [[will]] of others. My [[courage]] always rises at every attempt to [[intimidate]] me. ~ ''[[Pride and Prejudice]]'' ]] '''[[w:Jane Austen|Jane Austen]]''' ([[December 16]] [[1775]] – [[July 18]] [[1817]]) was an [[England|English]] novelist who recorded the domestic manners of the landed gentry. She is known for her classically understated style and sly, ironic [[humour]]. :See also: ::'''''[[Sense and Sensibility]]''''' (1811) ::'''''[[Pride and Prejudice]]''''' (1813) ::'''''[[Mansfield Park]]''''' (1814) ::'''''[[Emma]]''''' (1815) ::'''''[[Northanger Abbey]]''''' (1817) ::'''''[[Persuasion (novel)|Persuasion]]''''' (1818) == Quotes == ===Letters=== [[File:CassandraAusten-JaneAusten(c.1810).jpg|thumb|right|One half of the [[world]] cannot [[understand]] the [[pleasures]] of the other. ~ ''[[Emma]]'']] * Here I am once more in this scene of dissipation and vice, and I begin already to find my morals corrupted. ** Letter (August 1796) on arriving in London [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps one in a continual state of inelegance. ** Letter (1796-09-18) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Next week I shall begin my operations on my hat, on which you know my principal hopes of happiness depend. ** Letter (1798-10-27) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I am very much obliged to my dear little George for his message - for his ''love'' at least; his ''duty'', I suppose, was only in consequence of some hint of my favorable intentions towards him from his father or mother. I am sincerely rejoiced, however, that I ever was born, since it has been the means of procuring him a dish of tea. ** Letter to Cassandra (1798-12-18) about her nephew George [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * '''I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.''' ** Letter to Cassandra (1798-12-24) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * You deserve a longer letter than this; but it is my unhappy fate seldom to treat people so well as they deserve. ** Letter to Cassandra (1798-12-24) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * '''I had a very pleasant evening, however, though you will probably find out that there was no particular reason for it; but I do not think it worth while to wait for enjoyment until there is some real opportunity for it.''' ** Letter (1799-01-21) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * She would tell you herself that she has a very dreadful cold in her head at present; but I have not much compassion for colds in the head without fever or sore throat. ** Letter to Cassandra (1799-01-21) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I am rather impatient to know the fate of my best gown. ** Letter to Cassandra (1799-05-17) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I cannot help thinking that it is more natural to have flowers grow out of the head than fruit. ** Letter to Cassandra (1799-06-11) on decorating her hat [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I can recollect nothing more to say at present; perhaps breakfast may assist my ideas. I was deceived — my breakfast supplied only two ideas — that the rolls were good and the butter bad. ** Letter (1799-06-19) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * In Paragon we met Mrs. Foley and Mrs. Dowdeswell with her yellow shawl airing out, and at the bottom of Kingsdown Hill we met a gentleman in a buggy, who, on minute examination, turned out to be Dr. Hall — and Dr. Hall in such very deep mourning that either his mother, his wife, or himself must be dead. ** Letter (1799-06-17) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Your abuse of our gowns amuses but does not discourage me; I shall take mine to be made up next week, and the more I look at it the better it pleases me. My cloak came on Tuesday, and, though I expected a good deal, the beauty of the lace astonished me. It is too handsome to be worn — almost too handsome to be looked at. ** Letter to Cassandra (November 1800) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I believe I drank too much wine last night at Hurstbourne; I know not how else to account for the shaking of my hand today. You will kindly make allowance therefore for any indistinctness of writing, by attributing it to this venial error. ** Letter to Cassandra (1800-11-20) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * The General has got the gout, and Mrs. Maitland the jaundice. Miss Debary, Susan, and Sally, all in black, but without any stature, made their appearance, and I was as civil to them as their bad breath would allow me. ** Letter (1800-11-20) on people she met at a ball [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * We have been exceedingly busy ever since you went away. In the first place we have had to rejoice two or three times everyday at your having such very delightful weather for the whole of your journey... ** Letter (1800-11-25) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] [[File:CassandraAusten-JaneAustenBackView(1804).jpg|thumb|right|One cannot fix one's [[eyes]] on the commonest [[natural]] production without finding food for a rambling fancy. ~ [[Mansfield Park (novel)|''Mansfield Park'']] ]] * I have now attained the true art of letter-writing, which we are always told, is to express on paper exactly what one would say to the same person by word of mouth. ** Letter (1801-01-03) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * You are very kind in planning presents for me to make, and my mother has shown me exactly the same attention; but as I do not choose to have generosity dictated to me, I shall not resolve on giving my cabinet to Anna till the first thought of it has been my own. ** Letter to Cassandra (1801-01-08) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Another stupid party last night; perhaps if larger they might be less intolerable, but here there were only just enough to make one card-table, with six people to look on and talk nonsense to each other. ** Letter to Cassandra (1801-05-12) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Mrs. B. and two young women were of the same party, except when Mrs. B. thought herself obliged to leave them to run round the room after her drunken husband. His avoidance, and her pursuit, with the probable intoxication of both, was an amusing scene. ** Letter (1801-05-12) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I cannot anyhow continue to find people agreeable; I respect Mrs. Chamberlayne for doing her hair well, but cannot feel a more tender sentiment. Miss Langley is like any other short girl, with a broad nose and wide mouth, fashionable dress and exposed bosom. Adm. Stanhope is a gentleman-like man, but then his legs are too short and his tail too long. ** Letter to Cassandra (1801-05-12) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * It would have amused you to see our progress. We went up by Sion Hill, and returned across the fields. In climbing a hill Mrs. Chamberlayne is very capital; I could with difficulty keep pace with her, yet would not flinch for the world. On plain ground I was quite her equal. And so we posted away under a fine hot sun, she without any parasol or any shade to her hat, stopping for nothing, and crossing the churchyard at Weston with as much expedition as if we were afraid of being buried alive. ** Letter to Cassandra (1801-05-21) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * We are to have a tiny party here tonight. I hate tiny parties, they force one into constant exertion. ** Letter (1801-05-21) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * You will have a great deal of unreserved discourse with Mrs. K., I dare say, upon this subject, as well as upon many other of our family matters. Abuse everybody but me. ** Letter to Cassandra (1807-01-07) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Our little visitor has just left us, and left us highly pleased with her; she is a nice, natural, open-hearted, affectionate girl, with all the ready civility which one sees in the best children in the present day; so unlike anything that I was myself at her age, that I am often all astonishment and shame. ** Letter to Cassandra (1807-02-08) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * You know how interesting the purchase of a sponge-cake is to me. ** Letter to Cassandra (1808-06-15) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * The pleasures of friendship, of unreserved conversation, of similarity of taste and opinions will make good amends for orange wine. ** Letter to Cassandra (1808-06-20) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * We spent Friday evening with our friends at the boarding-house, and our curiosity was gratified by the sight of their fellow-inmates, Mrs. Drew and Miss Hook, Mr. Wynne and Mr. Fitzhugh; the latter is brother to Mrs. Lance, and very much the gentleman. He has lived in that house more than twenty years, and poor man, is so totally deaf that they say he could not hear a cannon, were it fired close to him; having no cannon at hand to make the experiment, I took it for granted, and talked to him a little with my fingers, which was funny enough. ** Letter (1808-12-27) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I am gratified by her having pleasure in what I write, but I wish the knowledge of my being exposed to her discerning criticism may not hurt my style, by inducing too great a solicitude. I begin already to weigh my words and sentences more than I did, and am looking about for a sentiment, an illustration, or a metaphor in every corner of the room. Could my ideas flow as fast as the rain in the store-closet it would be charming. ** Letter (1809-01-24) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I am sorry to tell you that I am getting very extravagant, and spending all my money, and, what is worse for ''you'', I have been spending yours too. ** Letter to Cassandra (1811-04-18) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I give you joy of our new nephew, and hope if he ever comes to be hanged it will not be till we are too old to care about it. ** Letter to Cassandra (1811-04-25) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * My head-dress was a bugle-band like the border to my gown, and a flower of Mrs Tilson's. I depended upon hearing something of the evening from Mr. W. K., and am very well satisfied with his notice of me — "A pleasing looking young woman" — that must do; one cannot pretend to anything better now; thankful to have it continued a few years longer! ** Letter (1811-04-30) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * How horrible it is to have so many people killed! And what a blessing that one cares for none of them! ** Letter (1811-05-31) referring to the Peninsular War [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I will not say that your mulberry-trees are dead, but I am afraid they are not alive. ** Letter to Cassandra (1811-05-31) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Mr. Digweed has used us basely. Handsome is as handsome does; he is therefore a very ill-looking man. ** Letter to Cassandra (1813-01-24) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Let me know when you begin the new tea, and the new white wine. My present elegancies have not yet made me indifferent to such matters. I am still a cat if I see a mouse. ** Letter to Cassandra (1813-09-23) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * He seems a very harmless sort of young man, nothing to like or dislike in him — goes out shooting or hunting with the two others all the morning, and plays at whist and makes queer faces in the evening. ** Letter to Cassandra (1813-09-23) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * By the bye, as I must leave off being young, I find many ''douceurs'' in being a sort of ''chaperon'', for I am put on the sofa near the fire and can drink as much wine as I like. ** Letter (1813-11-06) on ageing [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I cannot help hoping that ''many'' will feel themselves obliged to buy it. I shall not mind imagining it a disagreeable duty to them, so as they do it. ** Letter (1813-11-06) on the reprint of Sense and Sensibility [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Devereux Forester's being ruined by his vanity is extremely good, but I wish you would not let him plunge into a "vortex of dissipation." I do not object to the thing, but I cannot bear the expression; it is such thorough novel slang, and so old that I daresay Adam met with it in the first novel he opened. ** Letter to niece Anna (1814-09-28) regarding a character in Anna's novel [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Walter Scott has no business to write novels, especially good ones. It is not fair. He has fame and profit enough as a poet, and should not be taking the bread out of other people's mouths. I do not like him, and do not mean to like ''Waverley'' if I can help it, but fear I must. ** Letter to Anna (1814-09-28) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * The Webbs are really gone! When I saw the waggons at the door, and thought of all the trouble they must have in moving, I began to reproach myself for not having liked them better, but since the waggons have disappeared my conscience has been closed again, and I am excessively glad they are gone. ** Letter to Anna (1814-09-28) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] *The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts. * There are such beings in the world — perhaps one in a thousand — as the creature you and I should think perfection; where grace and spirit are united to worth, where the manners are equal to the heart and understanding; but such a person may not come in your way, or, if he does, he may not be the eldest son of a man of fortune, the near relation of your particular friend, and belonging to your own county. ** Letter to Fanny Knight (1814-11-18) on finding love [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * His having been in love with the aunt gives Cecilia an additional interest with him. I like the idea — a very proper compliment to an aunt! I rather imagine indeed that nieces are seldom chosen but out of compliment to some aunt or another. I daresay Ben [Anna's husband] was in love with me once, and would never have thought of ''you'' if he had not supposed me dead of scarlet fever. ** Letter to niece Anna (1814-11-30) regarding characters in Anna's novel [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I wish I could finish stories as fast as you can. I am much obliged to you for the sight of Olivia, and think you have done for her very well; but the good-for-nothing father, who was the real author of all her faults and sufferings, should not escape unpunished. I hope he hung himself, or took the surname of Bone or underwent some direful penance or other. ** Letter to niece Caroline (1814-12-06) regarding a story Caroline sent her [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I am quite honoured by your thinking me capable of drawing such a clergyman as you gave the sketch of in your note of Nov. 16th. But I assure you I am ''not''. The comic part of the character I might be equal to, but not the good, the enthusiastic, the literary. Such a man's conversation must at times be on subjects of science and philosophy, of which I know nothing; or at least be occasionally abundant in quotations and allusions which a woman who, like me, knows only her own mother-tongue, and has read little in that, would be totally without the power of giving. A classical education, or at any rate a very extensive acquaintance with English literature, ancient and modern, appears to me quite indispensable for the person who would do any justice to your clergyman; and I think I may boast myself to be, with all possible vanity, the most unlearned and uninformed female who ever dared to be an authoress. ** Letter to Mr. Clarke, librarian to the Prince Regent (1815-12-11) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * He and I should not in the least agree, of course, in our ideas of novels and heroines. '''Pictures of perfection, as you know, make me sick and wicked;''' but there is some very good sense in what he says, and I particularly respect him for wishing to think well of all young ladies; it shows an amiable and a delicate mind. And he deserves better treatment than to be obliged to read any more of my works. ** Letter to Fanny Knight (1816-03-23) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I could no more write a romance than an epic poem. I could not sit seriously down to write a serious romance under any other motive than to save my life; and if it were indispensable for me to keep it up and never relax into laughing at myself or other people, I am sure I should be hung before I had finished the first chapter. No, I must keep to my own style and go on in my own way; and though I may never succeed again in that, I am convinced that I should totally fail in any other. ** Letter to Mr. Clarke (1816-04-01) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * We saw a countless number of post-chaises full of boys pass by yesterday morning — full of future heroes, legislators, fools, and villains. You have never thanked me for my last letter, which went by the cheese. I cannot bear not to be thanked. ** Letter to J. Edward Austen (1816-07-09) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I give you joy of having left Winchester. Now you may own how miserable you were there; now it will gradually all come out, your crimes and your miseries — how often you went up by the Mail to London and threw away fifty guineas at a tavern, and how often you were on the point of hanging yourself, restrained only, as some ill-natured aspersion upon poor old Winton has it, by the want of a tree within some miles of the city. ** Letter to J. Edward Austen (1816-12-16) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * What should I do with your strong, manly, spirited sketches, full of variety and glow? How could I possibly join them on to the little bit (two inches wide) of ivory on which I work with so fine a brush, as produces little effect after much labour? ** Letter to J. Edward Austen (1816-12-16) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I would recommend to her and Mr. D. the simple regimen of separate rooms. ** Letter (1817-02-20) on Mrs. Deedes having an eighteenth child [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Single women have a dreadful propensity for being poor, which is one very strong argument in favour of matrimony. ** Letter to Fanny Knight (1817-03-13) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Many thanks for your kind care for my health; I certainly have not been well for many weeks, and about a week ago I was very poorly. I have had a good deal of fever at times, and indifferent nights; but I am considerably better now and am recovering my looks a little, which have been bad enough — black and white, and every wrong colour. I must not depend upon being ever very blooming again. Sickness is a dangerous indulgence at my time of life. ** Letter to Fanny Knight (1817-03-23) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I know no better way, my dearest Edward, of thanking you for your affectionate concern for me during my illness than by telling you myself, as soon as possible, that I continue to get better. I will not boast of my handwriting; neither that nor my face have yet recovered their proper beauty, but in other respects I am gaining strength very fast. I am now out of bed from 9 in the morning to 10 at night: upon the sofa, 'tis true, but I eat my meals with Aunt Cass in a rational way, and can employ myself, and walk from one room to another. Mr. Lyford says he will cure me, and if he fails, I shall draw up a memorial and lay it before the Dean and Chapter, and have no doubt of redress from that pious, learned, and disinterested body. ** Letter to J. Edward Austen (1817-05-27) [''Jane Austen, Her Life and Letters: A Family Record''] * There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature. ** [[Northanger Abbey]] ===Works=== ====Love and Friendship==== *Sophia shrieked and fainted on the ground—I screamed and instantly ran mad! We remained thus mutually deprived of our senses some minutes, and on regaining them were deprived of them again. For an hour and a quarter did we continue in this unfortunate situation. **''Love and Friendship'' (1790) ====History of England==== *It was in this reign that Joan of Arc reigned and made such a ''row'' among the English. **'The History of England'' (1791) *There were several Battles between the Yorkists and the Lancastrians, in which the former (as they ought) usually won. **'The History of England'' (1791) *She [Mary I] married Philip King of Spain, who in her sister's reign, was famous for building Armadas. **'The History of England'' (1791) ====Sense and Sensibility==== {{main|Sense and Sensibility}} * "I am afraid", replied Elinor, "that the pleasantness of an employment does not always evince its propriety." ** ''[[Sense and Sensibility]]'' (1811) * People always live forever when there is an annuity to be paid them. ** ''Sense and Sensibility'' (1811) ====Pride and Prejudice==== {{main|Pride and Prejudice}} *It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. ** ''[[Pride and Prejudice]]'' (1813) * To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love. ** ''Pride and Prejudice'' (1813) * Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. ** ''Pride and Prejudice'' (1813) * One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty. ** ''Pride and Prejudice'' (1813) * For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors and laugh at them in our turn? ** ''Pride and Prejudice'' (1813) * The pride of any mother is to give birth to a responsible and successful child. ** Quoted in: Kabir, Hajara Muhammad (2010). Northern women development. [Nigeria]. ISBN 978-978-906-469-4. OCLC 890820657 ====Persuasion==== {{main|Persuasion}} * One does not love a place the less for having suffered in it, unless it has been all suffering, nothing but suffering. ** ''[[Persuasion]]'' (1817) * A lady, without a family, was the very best preserver of furniture in the world. ** ''Persuasion'' (1817) * It was, perhaps, one of those cases in which advice is good or bad only as the event decides. **''Persuasion'' (1817) * I must learn to brook being happier than I deserve. ** Persuasion (1817) ====Mansfield Park==== {{main|Mansfield Park}} * A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. ** ''[[Mansfield Park]]'' (1814) * An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that she may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion. All is safe with a lady engaged: no harm can be done. ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) * We do not look in great cities for our best morality. ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) * She was of course only too good for him; but as nobody minds having what is too good for them, he was very steadily earnest in the pursuit of the blessing... ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) * I speak what appears to me the general opinion; and where an opinion is general, it is usually correct. ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) * Let other pens dwell on guilt and misery. ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) * "I shall soon be rested," said Fanny; "to sit in the shade on a fine day, and look upon verdure, is the most perfect refreshment." ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) * it will, I believe, be everywhere found, that as the clergy are, or are not what they ought to be, so are the rest of the nation. ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) * It is a lovely night, and they are much to be pitied who have not been taught to feel, in some degree, as you do; who have not, at least, been given a taste for Nature in early life. They lose a great deal. ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) * But there certainly are not so many men of large fortune in the world as there are pretty women to deserve them. ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) * Of various admirals I could tell you a great deal: of them and their flags, and the gradation of their pay, and their bickerings and jealousies. But, in general, I can assure you that they are all passed over, and all very ill used. Certainly, my home at my uncle’s brought me acquainted with a circle of admirals. Of Rears and Vices I saw enough. Now do not be suspecting me of a pun, I entreat. ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) ====Emma==== {{main|Emma}} * One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other. ** ''[[Emma]]'' (1815) * Business, you know, may bring money, but friendship hardly ever does. ** ''Emma'' (1815) * ...why did we wait for any thing? — why not seize the pleasure at once? — How often is happiness destroyed by preparation, foolish preparation! ** ''Emma'' (1815) * Human nature is so well disposed towards those who are in interesting situations, that a young person, who either marries or dies, is sure of being kindly spoken of. ** ''Emma'' (1815) * Surprizes are foolish things. The pleasure is not enhanced, and the inconvenience is often considerable. ** ''Emma'' (1815) * There are people who the more you do for them, the less they will do for themselves. ** ''Emma'' (1815) * Ah! there is nothing like staying at home for real comfort. ** ''Emma'' (1815) * One has not great hopes from Birmingham. I always say there is something direful in the sound... ** ''Emma'' (1815) ====Northanger Abbey==== {{main|Northanger Abbey}} * To look almost pretty is an acquisition of higher delight to a girl who has been looking plain for the first fifteen years of her life than a beauty from her cradle can ever receive. ** ''[[Northanger Abbey]]'' (1817) * A woman especially, if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can. ** ''Northanger Abbey'' (1817) * Could they be perpetrated without being known, in a country like this, where social and literary intercourse is on such a footing, where every man is surrounded by a neighbourhood of voluntary spies, and where roads and newspapers lay everything open? ** ''Northanger Abbey'' (1817) * ...from politics, it was an easy step to silence. ** ''Northanger Abbey'' (1817) * It would be mortifying to the feelings of many ladies, could they be made to understand how little the heart of man is affected by what is costly or new in their attire. ** ''Northanger Abbey'' (1817) * A very short trial convinced her that a curricle was the prettiest equipage in the world ** ''Northanger Abbey'' (1817) *The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel must be intolerably stupid ** "Northanger Abbey" (1817) ====Lady Susan==== * What could I do! Facts are such horrid things! ** "Lady Susan", Letter XXXII (1871) {{Misattributed begin}} == Misattributed == * Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings. ** Said by Fanny Price in a 1999 adaptation of ''Mansfield Park''. Actual quote: *** Dinner was soon followed by tea and coffee, a ten miles' drive home allowed no waste of hours; and from the time of their sitting down to table, it was a quick succession of busy nothings till the carriage came to the door, and Mrs. Norris, having fidgeted about, and obtained a few pheasants' eggs and a cream cheese from the housekeeper, and made abundance of civil speeches to Mrs. Rushworth, was ready to lead the way. {{Misattributed end}} == Quotes about Jane Austen == * You could not shock her more than she shocks me;<br>Beside her [[James Joyce|Joyce]] seems innocent as grass.<br>It makes me most uncomfortable to see<br>An English spinster of the middle class<br>Describe the amorous effects of "brass,"<br>Reveal so frankly and with such sobriety<br>The economic basis of society. ** [[W. H. Auden]], ''Letter to Lord Byron'' (1936), lines 113–119 *As she grew up, the politics of the day occupied very little of her attention, but she probably shared the feeling of moderate [[w:Tory|Toryism]] which prevailed in her family. She was well acquainted with the old periodicals from the '[[w:The Spectator (1711)|Spectator]]' downwards. Her knowledge of [[Samuel Richardson|Richardson]]'s works was such as no one is likely again to acquire, now that the multitude and the merits of our light literature have called off the attention of readers from that great master. Every circumstance narrated in [[w:The History of Sir Charles Grandison|Sir Charles Grandison]], all that was ever said or done in the cedar parlour, was familiar to her; and the wedding days of Lady L. and Lady G. were as well remembered as if they had been living friends. Amongst her favourite writers, [[Samuel Johnson|Johnson]] in prose, [[George Crabbe|Crabbe]] in verse, and [[William Cowper|Cowper]] in both, stood high. **James Edward Austen-Leigh, ''[[w:A Memoir of Jane Austen|A Memoir of Jane Austen]]'' (1871; 2002 ed.), p. 71 *I now desire to offer a few observations on them [the novels], and especially on one point, on which my age renders me a competent witness—the fidelity with which they represent the opinions and manners of the class of society in which the author lived early in this century. They do this the more faithfully on account of the very deficiency with which they have been sometimes charged—namely, that they make no attempt to raise the standard of human life, but merely represent it as it was. They certainly were not written to support any theory or inculcate any particular moral, except indeed the great moral which is to be equally gathered from an observation of the course of actual life—namely, the superiority of high over low principles, and of greatness over littleness of mind. **James Edward Austen-Leigh, ''[[w:A Memoir of Jane Austen|A Memoir of Jane Austen]]'' (1871; 2002 ed.), p. 116 * Jane Austen? I feel that I am approaching dangerous ground. The reputation of Jane Austen is surrounded by cohorts of defenders who are ready to do murder for their sacred cause. They are nearly all fanatics. They will not listen. If anyone “went for” Jane, anything might happen to him. He would assuredly be called on to resign from his clubs...I do not even agree that Jane was a great novelist. She was a great little novelist. She is marvellous, intoxicating: she has unique wit, vast quantities of common sense, a most agreeable sense of proportion, much narrative skill. And she is always readable. But her world is a tiny world, and even of that tiny world she ignores, consciously or unconsciously, the fundamental factors. She did not know enough of the world to be a great novelist. She had not the ambition to be a great novelist. She knew her place; her present “fans” do not know her place, and their antics would without doubt have excited Jane's lethal irony. ** [[Arnold Bennett]] (1927) * Jane Austen … provides, at scores of points, a commentary that corrects any naive over-identification that we are tempted to commit. … Many readers have resisted that corrective. … Critics have often objected, for example, to the presence of a persistent voice that could allow itself, at what conventionally should have been the moment of supreme passion, to undermine the conventional effects with the famous (or infamous) narrative intrusion. … Some readers have considered such passages to be dodges, signs of Austen's own sexual inhibitions or lack of novelistic skill. … I suggest instead that they are signs of a novelist who knows her double task: how to abide by the demands of a conventional form, while making the whole thing work for matters ''un''conventional. ** [[w:Wayne C. Booth|Wayne C. Booth]], ''The Company We Keep: An Ethics of Fiction'' (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1988), pp. 433–434 * [M]ost of us, male and female, are as children compared with this one glorious human being. ** [[w:Wayne C. Booth|Wayne C. Booth]], ''The Company We Keep: An Ethics of Fiction'' (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1988), p. 434 * [T]he power of the realized conventional form, the delicious happiness Austen makes us feel, must surely be counteracted by a kind of inquiry that is as courageous and sensitive and resistant as Austen's reading of her own predecessors. She knew better than to pretend that powerful fictions are not dangerous. She thus would welcome, I like to think, the probing questions that feminist critics have been teaching us to ask. Her kind of critical spirit, applied … to her kind of works, will not leave those works unmodified. But to me it is reassuring to discover that most of the modifications, most of what we learn by asking the questions raised by feminist critics, leave Jane Austen looking perhaps even greater than she did before. ** [[w:Wayne C. Booth|Wayne C. Booth]], ''The Company We Keep: An Ethics of Fiction'' (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1988), p. 435 *In all her novels, though in varying degrees, Jane Austen regards the characters, good and bad alike, with ironical amusement, because they never see the situation as it really is and as she sees it. This is the deeper source of our unbroken pleasure in reading her. We constantly share her point of view, and are aware of the amusing difference between the fact and its appearance to the actors. If you fail to perceive and enjoy this, you are not really reading Jane Austen. Some readers do not perceive it, and therefore fail to appreciate her. Others perceive it without enjoying it, and they think her cynical. She is never cynical, and not often merely satirical. A cynic or a mere satirist may be intellectually pleased by human absurdities and illusions, but he does not feel them to be good. But to Jane Austen, so far as they are not seriously harmful, they are altogether pleasant, because they are both ridiculous and right. **[[w:A. C. Bradley|A. C. Bradley]], 'Jane Austen', ''Essays and Studies by Members of the English Association, Vol. II'' (1911), p. 19 * Why do you like Miss Austen so very much? I am puzzled on that point. … I read that sentence of yours, and then I got the book. And what did I find? An accurate daguerreotyped portrait of a commonplace (everyday) face; carefully fenced, highly cultivated garden, with neat borders and delicate flowers; but no glance of bright vivid physiognomy, no open country, no fresh air, no blue hill, no bonny beck. I should hardly like to live with her ladies and gentlemen, in their elegant but confined houses. ** [[Charlotte Brontë]], quote in ''Original Penguin Classics Introduction to Pride and Prejudice.'' by Tanner, Tony (1972). 80 Strand, London, WC2R, England: Penguin Books, Ltd. {{ISBN|0-141-43951-3}}. *The essence of her certainty is that the reforms she perceives to be necessary are within the attitudes of individuals; she calls for no general changes in the world of the established lesser [[w:Landed gentry|landed gentry]]. … Her distinctions between true gentlemanliness and the shell of it are keen, perhaps because—like Elizabeth Bennet—she has experienced social rebuffs at first hand. She is certainly no sycophant of wealth or rank, and she does not deal intimately with—or apparently much like—the great aristocracy. The class she deals with has local and not national importance: in eighteenth-century terms, she is a [[w:Tories (British political party)|Tory]] rather than a [[w:Whigs (British political party)|Whig]]. She believes that the gentleman—as her words "consequence" and "usefulness" imply—derives his personal dignity from the contributions he makes at the head of an organic, hierarchical, small community. It is for such a community, ideally perceived, that her novels speak... Jane Austen's novels belong decisively to one class of partisan novels, the [[Conservatism|conservative]]. Intellectually she is [[orthodox]]... Her important innovations are technical and stylistic modifications within a clearly defined and accepted genre. **[[w:Marilyn Butler|Marilyn Butler]], ''Jane Austen and the War of Ideas'' (1975), pp. 1-2 *The daughter and sister of clergymen of the [[w:Church of England|Established Church]], she began life in the conservative fold, and even as a teenager was the author of a satire on sensibility, ''Love and Friendship''. Two of her first completed novels, ''Sense and Sensibility'' and ''Northanger Abbey'' … display broadly the typical attitudes of the feminine type of conservative novel... The key issue on which virtue is distinguished from vice is the choice of a marriage-partner. The key virtues are prudence and concern for the evidence; the vices are romanticism, self-indulgence, conceit, and, for Jane Austen, other subtle variations upon the broad anti-[[w:Jacobin (politics)|jacobin]] target of [[individualism]]. … [T]hese last three novels reveal a sense of a hazard to the larger community which distinguishes them from the earlier group: the heroine's ethical choices no longer solely affect her private happiness in life, but are subtly interlinked with the stability and well-being of her society. In this too they reflect the broadening and deepening of range given to the conservative cause in the years 1797–8 by the critical turn in the [[w:French Revolutionary Wars|war]], and by the articulate leadership of ''[[w:Anti-Jacobin|The Anti-Jacobin]]''. Whatever their actual date of composition, they belong generically, like all Jane Austen's works, to a movement that defines itself by its opposition to [[revolution]]. **[[w:Marilyn Butler|Marilyn Butler]], ''Jane Austen and the War of Ideas'' (1975), pp. 122-123 *[I]n ''Northanger Abbey'' Jane Austen develops...her version of the revolutionary character, the man or woman who by acting on a system of selfishness, threatens friends of more orthodox principles; and ultimately, through cold-blooded cynicism in relation to the key social institution of marriage, threatens human happiness at a very fundamental level. Isabella Thorpe, Lady Susan, Mary Crawford, all like Isabella pursue the modern creed of self, and as such are Jane Austen's reinterpretation of a standard figure of the period, the desirable, amoral woman whose activities threaten manners and morals. … That Jane Austen is perfectly clear what she is doing can be demonstrated by identifying the same cluster of themes and characters in ''Sense and Sensibility''. Inheriting a set of conservative dogmas, and some impossibly theatrical characters—notably the revolutionary villain—already in her first two full-length novels she produces a more natural equivalent, on a scale appropriate to comedy. Her villains are not only better art than her rivals'; they are also better propaganda. … Her selfish characters are consistently smaller and meaner than their orthodox opponents, the heroines; they are restricted within the bounds of their own being, and their hearts and minds are impoverished. Jane Austen's achievement, the feat of the subtlest technician among the English novelists, is to rethink the material of the conservative novel in terms that are at once naturalistic and intellectually consistent. **[[w:Marilyn Butler|Marilyn Butler]], ''Jane Austen and the War of Ideas'' (1975), pp. 180-181 *Jane Austen has been criticized as trivial by the same enlightened race of critics as think her incapable of depicting passion. But such a criticism reveals a complete failure to grasp the convention within which her art is constructed. For aesthetic reasons she limits herself, as we have seen, to the mood of comedy and the world of the small gentry in England. But comedy can deal, and always has since the days of the Greeks, with themes as important and significant as those of tragedy: while the life of an English Squire's wife is as serious as the life of any one else: it can no more avoid the central problems that face mankind during its sojourn on this planet. The visible structure of Jane Austen's stories may be flimsy enough; but their foundations drive deep down into the basic principles of human conduct. On her bit of ivory she has engraved a criticism of life as serious and as considered as [[Thomas Hardy|Hardy]]'s. **[[Lord David Cecil]], 'Introduction', in Jane Austen, ''Sense and Sensibility'' (1931), p. xiii *[[Comedy]] was implicit in the manner in which she told her story. Her irony, her delicate ruthless irony, was of the substance of her style. It never obtruded itself; sometimes it only glinted out in a turn of phrase. But it was never absent for more than a paragraph; and her most straightforward piece of exposition was tart with its perfume. **[[Lord David Cecil]], The Leslie Stephen Lecture at the University of Cambridge (1 May 1935), quoted in ''The Times'' (2 May 1935), p. 11 *Jane Austen influenced me very much in a general way. I read her early with great pleasure and often since, and I think it's the, it's the tone is what I've liked about her, very cool, amused, but not ill-tempered tone. What I liked so very much about her is that she's quite ruthless in pointing out weaknesses and making fun, but she never seems in a bad temper, wishing to do down the characters, and I find this very agreeable – this sort of ruthless, good tempered, just, humorous outlook. I also like the mixture of her rather tough, robust judgement combined with a silvery, elegant refinement of manner. I think this contrast between the delicacy of the manner and the robustness of the judgement is very sympathetic to me. **[[Lord David Cecil]], interview with Patrick Garland for the BBC documentary ''Conversations at Cranborne'' (1970), quoted in Tristram Powell, 'A Television Interview', in ''David Cecil: A Portrait by his Friends'' (1990), p. 164 *[A]s her would-be biographer, I had to face the fact that information about Jane Austen the woman was limited and fragmentary. She remains for me – as no doubt she would have wished – not an intimate but an acquaintance. **[[Lord David Cecil]], ''A Portrait of Jane Austen'' (1978), p. 10 *Miss Austen's language deserves closer attention than it has received. She is not indeed one of the great writers of English prose of the early nineteenth century; but she is one of the greatest, because one of the most accurate, writers of dialogue of her own or any age; and of the writers of her period who furnish good and abundant specimens of polite conversation, she is to-day by far the most popular. **[[w:Robert William Chapman|Robert William Chapman]], 'Appendixes: Miss Auten's English', ''The Novels of Jane Austen: The Text based on Collation of the Early Editions, Volume I'' (1923), p. 389 * Jane Austen was born before those bonds which (we are told) protected women from truth, were burst by the [[w:Brontë family|Brontës]] or elaborately untied by [[George Eliot]]. Yet the fact remains that Jane Austen knew more about men than either of them. Jane Austen may have been protected from truth: but it was precious little of truth that was protected from her. ** [[G. K. Chesterton]], ''The Victorian Age in Literature'' (1913) * She knew what she knew, like a sound dogmatist: she did not know what she did not — like a sound agnostic. ** [[G. K. Chesterton]], ''The Victorian Age in Literature'' (1913) [University of Notre Dame Press, 1963], Ch. II: The Great Victorian Novelists (p. 53) *This is something more than the discovery of a document; it is the discovery of an inspiration. And that inspiration was the inspiration of [[w:Gargantua and Pantagruel|Gargantua]] and of [[The Pickwick Papers|Pickwick]]; it was the gigantic inspiration of laughter. **[[G. K. Chesterton]], 'Preface' to Jane Austen, ''Love & Freindship and Other Early Works'' (1922), p. xiv * I am at a loss to understand why people hold Miss Austen's novels at so high a rate, which seem to me vulgar in tone, sterile in invention, imprisoned in the wretched conventions of English society, without genius, wit, or knowledge of the world. Never was life so pinched & narrow. The one problem in the mind of the writer in both the stories I have read, "Persuasion," and "Pride & Prejudice," is marriageableness. All that interests in any character introduced is still this one, Has he or she money to marry with, & conditions conforming? 'Tis "the nympholepsy of a fond despair," say rather, of an English boarding-house. Suicide is more respectable. **[[Ralph Waldo Emerson]], ''Emerson: Selected Journals 1841–1877'', edited by Lawrence Rosenwald (2010), The Library of America, p. 768 *I read ''Madame Bovary'' and Jane Austen and [[George Eliot]] over and over. **1993 interview in ''Conversations with [[Louise Erdrich]] and [[Michael Dorris]]'' edited by Allan Chavkin and Nancy Feyl Chavkin (1994) * Why do the characters in Jane Austen give us a slightly new pleasure each time they come in, as opposed to the merely repetitive pleasure that is caused by a character in Dickens? Why do they combine so well in a conversation, and draw one another out, without seeming to do so, and never perform? The answer to this question can be put in several ways; that, unlike Dickens, she was a real artist, that she never stooped to caricature, etc. But the best reply is that her characters, though smaller than his, are more highly organized. They function all round, and even if her plot made greater demands on them than it does, they would still be adequate. ** [[E. M. Forster]], ''Aspects of The Novel'' (1927) *Perhaps my favorite English novelist is Jane Austen. **[[Natalia Ginzburg]] [https://salmagundi.skidmore.edu/articles/29-an-interview-with-natalia-ginzburg Interview] (1992) * I have been reading Miss Austen's Emma, which I had entirely forgotten, with the greatest enjoyment. I think it an admirable book, & I dare say you will agree with me. Miss Austen is an inimitable painter of quiet life. It would be difficult to say where the interest of Emma lies, yet it does interest strongly. There is no fine writing; no laboured description; no imaginative or ideal touches; no working on the feelings. Its magic must be its truth. It is exquisitely true. Life is presented to us, not as it may be taken in rare situations, in picturesque emergencies, but as we see it everyday. Common, workday life, with here & there a suit of best for Sundays. Yet there is nothing trivial. It is what Alfred calls in one of his unfinished poems "most ideal unideal, most uncommon commonplace." Dignity in the sentiments, dignity in the style. Quite a woman's book — (don't frown, Miss Fytche — I mean it for compliment) — none but a woman & a lady could possess that tact of minute observation, & that delicacy of sarcasm. ** [[w:Arthur Hallam|Arthur Henry Hallam]], letter to fiancé Emily (Emilia) Tennyson (1833-01-25), ''Jane Austen and her Readers, 1786-1945'', by Katie Halsey (Anthem Nineteenth-Century Series) *Don't forget books. What would life be without them? [[Emily Brontë]], [[Edgar Allan Poe]], [[F. Scott Fitzgerald]], [[Toni Morrison]], Jane Austen, [[William Faulkner]]. Read the greats-they're great for a reason. They know how to chart the human soul. (p 32) **[[Alice Hoffman]] ''Survival Lessons'' (2013) * Which brings us again, after this long way about, to Jane Austen and her novels, and that troublesome question about them. She was great and they were beautiful, because she and they were honest, and dealt with nature nearly a hundred years ago as realism deals with it to-day. Realism is nothing more and nothing less than the truthful treatment of material, and Jane Austen was the first and the last of the English novelists to treat material with entire truthfulness. Because she did this, she remains the most artistic of the English novelists, and alone worthy to be matched with the great Scandinavian and Slavic and Latin artists. ** [[William Dean Howells]], ''Criticism and Fiction'' (1891), Chapter 15 *I read ''Pride and Prejudice'' when I was about 8 or 9. It was the first adult novel I read and it opened my imagination to the immense possibilities of the world of fiction and, young though I was, produced an immediate response to Jane Austen that has remained as strong today as it was 85 years ago and, I believe, helped to make me a writer. **[[P. D. James]], quoted in 'Sex, Mao, motorcycles – the books', ''The Times Saturday Review'' (29 September 2012), p. 10 *[T]he attempt to recruit Jane Austen into one of the armies in an ideological war is mistaken... It is indeed useful to compare her to her contemporaries...to confirm her originality and independence, and appreciate how distinctively absent ideology is from her fiction. She ranks not among those novelists like [[Leo Tolstoy|Tolstoy]] and [[George Eliot]] who are in some sense teachers or preachers, but among those like [[Henry James|James]] and [[Marcel Proust|Proust]], for whom the depiction and analysis of human beings in thought and action are enough. Or in different terms, she is of the school of [[Sophocles]] and [[William Shakespeare|Shakespeare]], not that of [[Dante Alighieri|Dante]] and [[John Milton|Milton]]. **[[w:Richard Jenkyns (professor)|Richard Jenkyns]], ''A Fine Brush on Ivory: An Appreciation of Jane Austen'' (2004), p. 184 * Jane lies in Winchester — blessed be her shade!<br>Praise the Lord for making her, and her for all she made!<br>And while the stones of Winchester, or Milsom Street, remain,<br>Glory, love, and honour unto England's Jane! ** [[Rudyard Kipling]], Epigraph to 'The Janeites' (1924) *(“What do you owe Jane Austen?”) Endless pleasure. Years and years of delight. (“What did you learn from Jane Austen?”) A great deal about life. (“For example?”) I can't give you an example. You don't get fortune cookie maxims from a great novelist. You learn what life is like and what people are like. **1988 interview in ''Conversations with [[Ursula Le Guin]]'' (2008) *(“[[Samuel R. Delany|Chip Delany]] says that science fiction is as much a way of "reading" as it is a way of writing, and learn that. What is it that we have to learn?”) That's true for realism, too. You have to learn how to read Jane Austen. We have to learn how to read realistic fiction. A lot of people never do. Some of them, our fantasy readers, don't know how to read [[William Makepeace Thackeray|Thackeray]], or any novels. They don't know what to expect, they don't know what the rewards are supposed to be. **1994 interview in ''Conversations with [[Ursula Le Guin]]'' (2008) * The delight derived from her pictures arises from our sympathy with ordinary characters, our relish of humor, and our intellectual pleasure in art for art's sake. But when it is admitted that she never stirs the deeper emotions, that she never fills the soul with a noble aspiration, or brightens it with a fine idea, but, at the utmost, only teaches us charity for the ordinary failings of ordinary people, and sympathy with their goodness, we have admitted an objection which lowers her claims to rank among the great benefactors of the race; and this sufficiently explains why, with all her excellence, her name has not become a household word. Her fame, we think, must endure. Such art as hers can never grow old, never be superseded. But, after all, miniatures are not frescoes, and her works are miniatures. Her place is among the Immortals; but the pedestal is erected in a quiet niche of the great temple. ** [[George Henry Lewes]], ''The Novels of Jane Austen'' (1859) *[[William Shakespeare|Shakespeare]] has had neither equal nor second. But among the writers who, in the point which we have noticed, have approached nearest to the manner of the great master, we have no hesitation in placing Jane Austen, a woman of whom England is justly proud. She has given us a multitude of characters, all, in a certain sense, commonplace, all such as we meet every day. Yet they are all as perfectly discriminated from each other as if they were the most eccentric of human beings... And almost all this is done by touches so delicate that they elude analysis, that they defy the powers of description, and that we know them to exist only by the general effect to which they have contributed. **[[Thomas Babington Macaulay, 1st Baron Macaulay|Thomas Macaulay]], 'Madame D'Arblay', ''Edinburgh Review'' (January 1843), reprinted in ''Critical and Miscellaneous Essays, Volume 5'' (1844), p. 68 *Something recalled to his mind the traits of character which are so delicately touched in Miss Austen's novels. "There was genius in the sketching out that new kind of novel." He was vexed for the credit of the ''[[w:Edinburgh Review|Edinburgh Review]]'', that it had left unnoticed; the ''[[w:Quarterly Review|Quarterly]]'' had done her more justice. It was impossible for a foreigner to understand fully the merit of her works. [[Germaine de Staël|Madame de Staël]], to whom he had recommended of her novels, found no interest in it, and, in her note to him in reply, said it was "''vulgaire"'', and yet he said nothing could be more true than what he wrote in answer,—"''there is no book which that word would suit so little''." "Every village could furnish matter for a novel to Miss Austen. She did not need the common materials for a novel—strong passion, or strong incident." **[[James Mackintosh]], quoted in ''Memoirs of the Life of Sir James Mackintosh, Vol. II'', ed. Robert James Mackintosh (1836 ed.), p. 472 * When I was young, it was not thought proper for young ladies to study very conspicuously; and especially with pen in hand. Young ladies (at least in provincial towns) were expected to sit down in the parlour to sew,—during which reading aloud was permitted,—or to practice their music; but so as to be fit to receive callers, without any signs of blue‐stockingism which could be reported abroad. Jane Austen herself, the Queen of novelists, the immortal creator of Anne Elliott, Mr. Knightly, and a score or two more of unrivalled intimate friends of the whole public, was compelled by the feelings of her family to cover up her manuscripts with a large piece of muslin work, kept on the table for the purpose, whenever any genteel people came in. So it was with other young ladies, for some time after Jane Austen was in her grave; and thus my first studies in philosophy were carried on with great care and reserve. ** [[Harriet Martineau]], ''Harriet Martineau's Autobiography, vol. 1'' [1855] *In her there are united, in rare combination, a sense of disillusionment and gaiety of temperament—it is the perception of the comic once more which reconciles the two. **Katherine Marion Metcalfe, 'Introduction', in Jane Austen, ''Pride and Prejudice'' (1912), p. xiii *A rational wisdom, exceptional intellect, unique in wit, found herself in circumstances which were always meagre, and at times irrational; and endowed with fastidiousness on the one hand and enjoyment on the other, she employed her experience creatively in the service of Comedy. The novels are a vent. **Katherine Marion Metcalfe, 'Introduction', in Jane Austen, ''Pride and Prejudice'' (1912), p. xv * The want of elegance is almost the only want in Miss Austen. I have not read her ‘Mansfield Park;’ but it is impossible not to feel in every line of ‘Pride and Prejudice,’ in every word of ‘Elizabeth,’ the entire want of taste which could produce so pert, so worldly a heroine as the beloved of such a man as Darcy. Wickham is equally bad. Oh! they were just fit for each other, and I cannot forgive that delightful Darcy for parting them. Darcy should have married Jane. He is of all the admirable characters the best designed and the best sustained. I quite agree with you in preferring Miss Austen to Miss Edgeworth. If the former had a little more taste, a little more perception of the graceful, as well as of the humorous, I know not indeed any one to whom I should not prefer her. There is not of the hardness, the cold selfishness, of Miss Edgeworth about her writings; she is in a much better humour with the world; she preaches no sermons; she wants nothing but the beau-idéal of the female character to be a perfect novel writer; and perhaps even that beau-idéal would only be missed by such a petite maîtresse in books as myself. ** [[w:Mary Russell Mitford|Mary Russell Mitford]], letter to Sir William Elford, 1st Baronet (1814-12-20), ''The Life of Mary Russell Mitford, vol. 1'' (1870) * I have discovered that our great favourite, Miss Austen, is my countrywoman; that mamma knew all her family very intimately; and that she herself is an old maid (I beg her pardon – I mean a young lady) with whom mamma before her marriage was acquainted. Mamma says that she was then the prettiest, silliest, most affected, husband-hunting butterfly she ever remembers; and a friend of mine, who visits her now, says that she has stiffened into the most perpendicular, precise, taciturn piece of “single blessedness” that ever existed, and that, till ‘Pride and Prejudice’ showed what a precious gem was hidden in that unbending case, she was no more regarded in society than a poker or a fire-screen, or any other thin upright piece of wood or iron that fills its corner in peace and quietness. The case is very different now; she is still a poker – but a poker of whom every one is afraid. It must be confessed that this silent observation from such an observer is rather formidable. Most writers are good-humoured chatterers – neither very wise nor very witty: – but nine times out of ten (at least in the few that I have known) unaffected and pleasant, and quite removing by their conversation any awe that may have been excited by their works. But a wit, a delineator of character, who does not talk, is terrific indeed! ** [[w:Mary Russell Mitford|Mary Russell Mitford]], letter to Sir William Elford, 1st Baronet (1815-04-03), ''The Life of Mary Russell Mitford, vol. 1'' (1870) * Her exquisite story of 'Persuasion' absolutely haunted me. Whenever it rained (and it did rain every day that I stayed in Bath, except one), I thought of Anne Elliott meeting Captain Wentworth, when driven by a shower to take refuge in a shoe-shop. Whenever I got out of breath in climbing up-hill (which, considering that one dear friend lived in Lansdown Crescent, and another on Beechen Cliff, happened also pretty often), I thought of that same charming Anne Elliott, and of that ascent from the lower town to the upper, during which all her tribulations ceased. And when at last, by dint of trotting up one street and down another, I incurred the unromantic calamity of a blister on the heel, even that grievance became classical by the recollection of the similar catastrophe, which, in consequence of her peregrinations with the Admiral, had befallen dear Mrs. Croft. I doubt if any one, even Scott himself, have left such perfect impressions of character and place as Jane Austen. ** [[w:Mary Russell Mitford|Mary Russell Mitford]], ''Recollections of a Literary Life, or Books, Places and People, vol. 2'' (1852) *the sharply stitched phrases of Jane Austen **[[Aurora Levins Morales]] ''Medicine Stories: Essays for Radicals'' (2019 edition) * In fact, though she lacked the {{w|Classical education in the Western world|classical education}} bestowed, as of right, on her brothers, and claimed brightly to know nothing of 'science and philosophy', Jane Austen was better informed, and far better read, than most women of her day, having good French and some Italian, a love of history, considerable skill in both [[music]] and {{w|drawing}}, and an extensive, intelligent knowledge of some of the greatest writers in the English language, from [[Samuel Johnson|Johnson]], [[Samuel Richardson|Richardson]] and [[Henry Fielding|Fielding]], to [[Oliver Goldsmith|Goldsmith]], [[David Hume|Hume]] and [[George Crabbe|Crabbe]]. ** Josephine Ross, {{cite book|title=Jane Austen: A Companion|publisher=Rutgers University Press|year=2003|isbn=081353299X|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=1nUfCMaLspcC&pg=PA9|page=9}} (1st edition, {{w|John Murray (publishing house)|John Murray}}, 2002) * Every housemaid expects at least once a week as much excitement as would have lasted a Jane Austen heroine throughout a whole novel. ** [[Bertrand Russell]], in ''[[The Conquest of Happiness]]'' (1930), Ch. 4: Boredom and excitement * Also read again and for the third time at least Miss Austen's very finely written novel of Pride and Prejudice. That young lady had a talent for describing the involvement and feelings and characters of ordinary life which is to me the most wonderful I ever met with. The Big Bow-wow strain I can do myself like any now going, but the exquisite touch which renders ordinary commonplace things and characters interesting from the truth of the description and the sentiment is denied to me. What a pity such a gifted creature died so early! ** [[Walter Scott]], "Walter Scott, an unsigned review of Emma, Quarterly Review". Jane Austen: The Critical Heritage, 1812–1870. Ed. B. C. Southam. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul, 1968. {{ISBN|071002942X}}. 58–69 *You mention Miss Austen; her novels are more true to nature, and have (for my sympathies) passages of finer feeling than any others of this age. She was a person of whom I have heard so well, and think so highly, that I regret not having seen her, nor ever having had an opportunity of testifying to her the respect which I felt for her. **[[Robert Southey]] to [[w:Egerton Brydges|Sir Egerton Brydges]] (8 April 1830), quoted in ''The Autobiography, Times, Opinions, and Contemporaries of Sir Egerton Brydges, Vol. II'' (1834), p. 269 * Miss Austen was surely a great novelist. What she did, she did perfectly. Her work, as far as it goes, is faultless. She wrote of the times in which she lived, of the class of people with which she associated, and in the language which was usual to her as an educated lady. Of romance, -- what we generally mean when we speak of romance -- she had no tinge. Heroes and heroines with wonderful adventures there are none in her novels. Of great criminals and hidden crimes she tells us nothing. But she places us in a circle of gentlemen and ladies, and charms us while she tells us with an unconscious accuracy how men should act to women, and women act to men. It is not that her people are all good; -- and, certainly, they are not all wise. The faults of some are the anvils on which the virtues of others are hammered till they are bright as steel. In the comedy of folly I know no novelist who has beaten her. The letters of Mr. Collins, a clergyman in Pride and Prejudice, would move laughter in a low-church archbishop. ** [[Anthony Trollope]], ''Lecture'' (1870) * Jane Austen's books, too, are absent from this library. Just that one omission alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it. ** [[Mark Twain]], ''Following the Equator'' (1897) * To me his (Edgar Allan Poe's) prose is unreadable — like Jane Austin's [sic]. No there is a difference. I could read his prose on salary, but not Jane's. Jane is entirely impossible. It seems a great pity that they allowed her to die a natural death. ** [[Mark Twain]], letter to [[William Dean Howells]] (1909-01-18) * I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read ''Pride and Prejudice'' I want to dig her up and hit her over the skull with her own shin-bone. ** [[Mark Twain]], Letter, 13 September 1898, in A.B. Paine, ''Mark Twain: A Biography'' (1912) *I don't see how anyone could have a greater scope in knowledge of human nature and reveal more of human nature than Jane Austen. **1972 interview included in ''Conversations with [[Eudora Welty]]'' Edited by Peggy Whitman Prenshaw (1993) *Miss Austin has the merit (in our judgment most essential) of being evidently a Christian writer: a merit which is much enhanced, both on the score of good taste, and of practical utility, by her religion being not at all obtrusive. She might defy the most fastidious critic to call any of her novels, (as [[w:Coelebs in Search of a Wife|Coelebs]] was designated, we will not say altogether without reason,) a "dramatic sermon." The subject is rather alluded to, and that incidentally, than studiously brought forward and dwelt upon. **[[Richard Whately]], 'Modern Novels', ''The Quarterly Review'' (January 1821), p. 359 * Most works in realism tell a succession of such abject truths; they are deeply in earnest, every detail is true, and yet the whole finally tumbles to the ground — true but without significance. How did Jane Austen save her novels from that danger? They appear to be compact of abject truth. Their events are excruciatingly unimportant; and yet, with R. Crusoe, they will probably outlast all Fielding, Scott, George Elliot, Thackeray, and Dickens. The art is so consummate that the secret is hidden; peer at them as hard as one may; shake them; take them apart; one cannot see how it is done. ** [[Thornton Wilder]], ''A preface for Our Town'' (1938) * Whatever 'Bloomsbury' may think of Jane Austen, she is not by any means one of my favourites. I'd give all she ever wrote for half what the [[w:Brontë family|Brontës]] wrote -- if my reason did not compel me to see that she is a magnificent artist. What I shall proceed to find out, from her letters, when I've time, is why she failed to be much better than she was. Something to do with sex, I expect; the letters are full of hints already that she suppressed half of her in her novels. ** [[Virginia Woolf]], Letter to Ethel Smythe, 20 November 1932, in David Dowling, ''Novelists on Novelists'' (1983) * Charlotte Brontë, with all her splendid gift for prose, stumbled and fell with that clumsy weapon in her hands. George Eliot committed atrocities with it that beggar description. Jane Austen looked at it and laughed at it and devised a perfectly natural, shapely sentence proper for her own use and never departed from it. Thus, with less genius for writing than Charlotte Brontë, she got infinitely more said. ** [[Virginia Woolf]], ''A Room of One's Own'' (1929), Chapter 4 * Jane Austen is thus a mistress of much deeper emotion than appears upon the surface. She stimulates us to supply what is not there. What she offers is, apparently, a trifle, yet is composed of something that expands in the reader's mind and endows with the most enduring form of life scenes which are outwardly trivial. Always the stress is laid upon character. How, we are made to wonder, will Emma behave when Lord Osborne and Tom Musgrave make their call at five minutes before three, just as Mary is bringing in the tray and the knife-case? It is an extremely awkward situation. The young men are accustomed to much greater refinement. Emma may prove herself ill-bred, vulgar, a nonentity. The turns and twists of the dialogue keep us on the tenterhooks of suspense. Our attention is half upon the present moment, half upon the future. And when, in the end, Emma behaves in such a way as to vindicate our highest hopes of her, we are moved as if we had been made witnesses of a matter of the highest importance. Here, indeed, in this unfinished and in the main inferior story, are all the elements of Jane Austen's greatness. It has the permanent quality of literature. Think away the surface animation, the likeness to life, and there remains, to provide a deeper pleasure, an exquisite discrimination of human values. ** [[Virginia Woolf]], ''The Common Reader'' (1925) ==External links== {{wikipedia}} {{Wikisource author}} * {{gutenberg author | id=Austen,_Jane | name=Jane Austen}} * [http://www.janeaustenmuseum.org.uk/ The Jane Austen Museum] * [http://books.guardian.co.uk/authors/author/0,5917,-12,00.html ''Guardian'' Books "Author Page"], with profile and links to further articles. * [http://www.pemberley.com The Republic of Pemberley], the largest Jane Austen site on the web. ** [http://www.pemberley.com/janeinfo/janeinfo.html Jane Austen Information Page] ** [http://www.pemberley.com/janeinfo/brablets.html Letters of Jane Austen] ** [http://www.pemberley.com/filmography/filmography.html Filmography of Jane Austen Adaptations] * [http://www.hants.gov.uk/austen Hampshire, home of Jane Austen] * [http://www.jasna.org The Jane Austen Society of North America] * [http://www.shmoop.com/jane-austen/quotes.html Jane Austen quotes] and biography {{DEFAULTSORT:Austen, Jane}} [[Category:1775 births]] [[Category:1817 deaths]] [[Category:Jane Austen]] [[Category:Novelists from England]] [[Category:Anglicans from the United Kingdom]] [[Category:Women authors from England]] [[Category:Women born before the 19th century]] [[Category:People from Hampshire]] te220pz4b6rcgizx3saznxxmbx0tjtm 3942115 3942113 2026-05-17T17:50:17Z Ficaia 3085955 3942115 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:CassandraAusten-JaneAusten(c.1810).jpg|thumb|right|One half of the world cannot understand the [[pleasures]] of the other. ~ ''[[Emma]]'']] '''[[w:Jane Austen|Jane Austen]]''' ([[December 16]] [[1775]] – [[July 18]] [[1817]]) was an [[England|English]] novelist who recorded the domestic manners of the landed gentry. She is known for her classically understated style and sly, ironic [[humour]]. :See also: ::'''''[[Sense and Sensibility]]''''' (1811) ::'''''[[Pride and Prejudice]]''''' (1813) ::'''''[[Mansfield Park]]''''' (1814) ::'''''[[Emma]]''''' (1815) ::'''''[[Northanger Abbey]]''''' (1817) ::'''''[[Persuasion (novel)|Persuasion]]''''' (1818) == Quotes == [[File:JaneAustenSilhouette.svg|thumb|right|There is a [[stubbornness]] about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me. ~ ''[[Pride and Prejudice]]'' ]] === Letters === * Here I am once more in this scene of dissipation and vice, and I begin already to find my morals corrupted. ** Letter (August 1796) on arriving in London [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps one in a continual state of inelegance. ** Letter (1796-09-18) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Next week I shall begin my operations on my hat, on which you know my principal hopes of happiness depend. ** Letter (1798-10-27) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I am very much obliged to my dear little George for his message - for his ''love'' at least; his ''duty'', I suppose, was only in consequence of some hint of my favorable intentions towards him from his father or mother. I am sincerely rejoiced, however, that I ever was born, since it has been the means of procuring him a dish of tea. ** Letter to Cassandra (1798-12-18) about her nephew George [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * '''I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.''' ** Letter to Cassandra (1798-12-24) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * You deserve a longer letter than this; but it is my unhappy fate seldom to treat people so well as they deserve. ** Letter to Cassandra (1798-12-24) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * '''I had a very pleasant evening, however, though you will probably find out that there was no particular reason for it; but I do not think it worth while to wait for enjoyment until there is some real opportunity for it.''' ** Letter (1799-01-21) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * She would tell you herself that she has a very dreadful cold in her head at present; but I have not much compassion for colds in the head without fever or sore throat. ** Letter to Cassandra (1799-01-21) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I am rather impatient to know the fate of my best gown. ** Letter to Cassandra (1799-05-17) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I cannot help thinking that it is more natural to have flowers grow out of the head than fruit. ** Letter to Cassandra (1799-06-11) on decorating her hat [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I can recollect nothing more to say at present; perhaps breakfast may assist my ideas. I was deceived — my breakfast supplied only two ideas — that the rolls were good and the butter bad. ** Letter (1799-06-19) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * In Paragon we met Mrs. Foley and Mrs. Dowdeswell with her yellow shawl airing out, and at the bottom of Kingsdown Hill we met a gentleman in a buggy, who, on minute examination, turned out to be Dr. Hall — and Dr. Hall in such very deep mourning that either his mother, his wife, or himself must be dead. ** Letter (1799-06-17) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Your abuse of our gowns amuses but does not discourage me; I shall take mine to be made up next week, and the more I look at it the better it pleases me. My cloak came on Tuesday, and, though I expected a good deal, the beauty of the lace astonished me. It is too handsome to be worn — almost too handsome to be looked at. ** Letter to Cassandra (November 1800) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I believe I drank too much wine last night at Hurstbourne; I know not how else to account for the shaking of my hand today. You will kindly make allowance therefore for any indistinctness of writing, by attributing it to this venial error. ** Letter to Cassandra (1800-11-20) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * The General has got the gout, and Mrs. Maitland the jaundice. Miss Debary, Susan, and Sally, all in black, but without any stature, made their appearance, and I was as civil to them as their bad breath would allow me. ** Letter (1800-11-20) on people she met at a ball [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * We have been exceedingly busy ever since you went away. In the first place we have had to rejoice two or three times everyday at your having such very delightful weather for the whole of your journey... ** Letter (1800-11-25) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] [[File:CassandraAusten-JaneAustenBackView(1804).jpg|thumb|right|One cannot fix one's [[eyes]] on the commonest [[natural]] production without finding food for a rambling fancy. ~ [[Mansfield Park (novel)|''Mansfield Park'']] ]] * I have now attained the true art of letter-writing, which we are always told, is to express on paper exactly what one would say to the same person by word of mouth. ** Letter (1801-01-03) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * You are very kind in planning presents for me to make, and my mother has shown me exactly the same attention; but as I do not choose to have generosity dictated to me, I shall not resolve on giving my cabinet to Anna till the first thought of it has been my own. ** Letter to Cassandra (1801-01-08) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Another stupid party last night; perhaps if larger they might be less intolerable, but here there were only just enough to make one card-table, with six people to look on and talk nonsense to each other. ** Letter to Cassandra (1801-05-12) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Mrs. B. and two young women were of the same party, except when Mrs. B. thought herself obliged to leave them to run round the room after her drunken husband. His avoidance, and her pursuit, with the probable intoxication of both, was an amusing scene. ** Letter (1801-05-12) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I cannot anyhow continue to find people agreeable; I respect Mrs. Chamberlayne for doing her hair well, but cannot feel a more tender sentiment. Miss Langley is like any other short girl, with a broad nose and wide mouth, fashionable dress and exposed bosom. Adm. Stanhope is a gentleman-like man, but then his legs are too short and his tail too long. ** Letter to Cassandra (1801-05-12) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * It would have amused you to see our progress. We went up by Sion Hill, and returned across the fields. In climbing a hill Mrs. Chamberlayne is very capital; I could with difficulty keep pace with her, yet would not flinch for the world. On plain ground I was quite her equal. And so we posted away under a fine hot sun, she without any parasol or any shade to her hat, stopping for nothing, and crossing the churchyard at Weston with as much expedition as if we were afraid of being buried alive. ** Letter to Cassandra (1801-05-21) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * We are to have a tiny party here tonight. I hate tiny parties, they force one into constant exertion. ** Letter (1801-05-21) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * You will have a great deal of unreserved discourse with Mrs. K., I dare say, upon this subject, as well as upon many other of our family matters. Abuse everybody but me. ** Letter to Cassandra (1807-01-07) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Our little visitor has just left us, and left us highly pleased with her; she is a nice, natural, open-hearted, affectionate girl, with all the ready civility which one sees in the best children in the present day; so unlike anything that I was myself at her age, that I am often all astonishment and shame. ** Letter to Cassandra (1807-02-08) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * You know how interesting the purchase of a sponge-cake is to me. ** Letter to Cassandra (1808-06-15) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * The pleasures of friendship, of unreserved conversation, of similarity of taste and opinions will make good amends for orange wine. ** Letter to Cassandra (1808-06-20) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * We spent Friday evening with our friends at the boarding-house, and our curiosity was gratified by the sight of their fellow-inmates, Mrs. Drew and Miss Hook, Mr. Wynne and Mr. Fitzhugh; the latter is brother to Mrs. Lance, and very much the gentleman. He has lived in that house more than twenty years, and poor man, is so totally deaf that they say he could not hear a cannon, were it fired close to him; having no cannon at hand to make the experiment, I took it for granted, and talked to him a little with my fingers, which was funny enough. ** Letter (1808-12-27) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I am gratified by her having pleasure in what I write, but I wish the knowledge of my being exposed to her discerning criticism may not hurt my style, by inducing too great a solicitude. I begin already to weigh my words and sentences more than I did, and am looking about for a sentiment, an illustration, or a metaphor in every corner of the room. Could my ideas flow as fast as the rain in the store-closet it would be charming. ** Letter (1809-01-24) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I am sorry to tell you that I am getting very extravagant, and spending all my money, and, what is worse for ''you'', I have been spending yours too. ** Letter to Cassandra (1811-04-18) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I give you joy of our new nephew, and hope if he ever comes to be hanged it will not be till we are too old to care about it. ** Letter to Cassandra (1811-04-25) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * My head-dress was a bugle-band like the border to my gown, and a flower of Mrs Tilson's. I depended upon hearing something of the evening from Mr. W. K., and am very well satisfied with his notice of me — "A pleasing looking young woman" — that must do; one cannot pretend to anything better now; thankful to have it continued a few years longer! ** Letter (1811-04-30) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * How horrible it is to have so many people killed! And what a blessing that one cares for none of them! ** Letter (1811-05-31) referring to the Peninsular War [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I will not say that your mulberry-trees are dead, but I am afraid they are not alive. ** Letter to Cassandra (1811-05-31) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Mr. Digweed has used us basely. Handsome is as handsome does; he is therefore a very ill-looking man. ** Letter to Cassandra (1813-01-24) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Let me know when you begin the new tea, and the new white wine. My present elegancies have not yet made me indifferent to such matters. I am still a cat if I see a mouse. ** Letter to Cassandra (1813-09-23) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * He seems a very harmless sort of young man, nothing to like or dislike in him — goes out shooting or hunting with the two others all the morning, and plays at whist and makes queer faces in the evening. ** Letter to Cassandra (1813-09-23) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * By the bye, as I must leave off being young, I find many ''douceurs'' in being a sort of ''chaperon'', for I am put on the sofa near the fire and can drink as much wine as I like. ** Letter (1813-11-06) on ageing [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I cannot help hoping that ''many'' will feel themselves obliged to buy it. I shall not mind imagining it a disagreeable duty to them, so as they do it. ** Letter (1813-11-06) on the reprint of Sense and Sensibility [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Devereux Forester's being ruined by his vanity is extremely good, but I wish you would not let him plunge into a "vortex of dissipation." I do not object to the thing, but I cannot bear the expression; it is such thorough novel slang, and so old that I daresay Adam met with it in the first novel he opened. ** Letter to niece Anna (1814-09-28) regarding a character in Anna's novel [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Walter Scott has no business to write novels, especially good ones. It is not fair. He has fame and profit enough as a poet, and should not be taking the bread out of other people's mouths. I do not like him, and do not mean to like ''Waverley'' if I can help it, but fear I must. ** Letter to Anna (1814-09-28) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * The Webbs are really gone! When I saw the waggons at the door, and thought of all the trouble they must have in moving, I began to reproach myself for not having liked them better, but since the waggons have disappeared my conscience has been closed again, and I am excessively glad they are gone. ** Letter to Anna (1814-09-28) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] *The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts. * There are such beings in the world — perhaps one in a thousand — as the creature you and I should think perfection; where grace and spirit are united to worth, where the manners are equal to the heart and understanding; but such a person may not come in your way, or, if he does, he may not be the eldest son of a man of fortune, the near relation of your particular friend, and belonging to your own county. ** Letter to Fanny Knight (1814-11-18) on finding love [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * His having been in love with the aunt gives Cecilia an additional interest with him. I like the idea — a very proper compliment to an aunt! I rather imagine indeed that nieces are seldom chosen but out of compliment to some aunt or another. I daresay Ben [Anna's husband] was in love with me once, and would never have thought of ''you'' if he had not supposed me dead of scarlet fever. ** Letter to niece Anna (1814-11-30) regarding characters in Anna's novel [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I wish I could finish stories as fast as you can. I am much obliged to you for the sight of Olivia, and think you have done for her very well; but the good-for-nothing father, who was the real author of all her faults and sufferings, should not escape unpunished. I hope he hung himself, or took the surname of Bone or underwent some direful penance or other. ** Letter to niece Caroline (1814-12-06) regarding a story Caroline sent her [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I am quite honoured by your thinking me capable of drawing such a clergyman as you gave the sketch of in your note of Nov. 16th. But I assure you I am ''not''. The comic part of the character I might be equal to, but not the good, the enthusiastic, the literary. Such a man's conversation must at times be on subjects of science and philosophy, of which I know nothing; or at least be occasionally abundant in quotations and allusions which a woman who, like me, knows only her own mother-tongue, and has read little in that, would be totally without the power of giving. A classical education, or at any rate a very extensive acquaintance with English literature, ancient and modern, appears to me quite indispensable for the person who would do any justice to your clergyman; and I think I may boast myself to be, with all possible vanity, the most unlearned and uninformed female who ever dared to be an authoress. ** Letter to Mr. Clarke, librarian to the Prince Regent (1815-12-11) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * He and I should not in the least agree, of course, in our ideas of novels and heroines. '''Pictures of perfection, as you know, make me sick and wicked;''' but there is some very good sense in what he says, and I particularly respect him for wishing to think well of all young ladies; it shows an amiable and a delicate mind. And he deserves better treatment than to be obliged to read any more of my works. ** Letter to Fanny Knight (1816-03-23) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I could no more write a romance than an epic poem. I could not sit seriously down to write a serious romance under any other motive than to save my life; and if it were indispensable for me to keep it up and never relax into laughing at myself or other people, I am sure I should be hung before I had finished the first chapter. No, I must keep to my own style and go on in my own way; and though I may never succeed again in that, I am convinced that I should totally fail in any other. ** Letter to Mr. Clarke (1816-04-01) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * We saw a countless number of post-chaises full of boys pass by yesterday morning — full of future heroes, legislators, fools, and villains. You have never thanked me for my last letter, which went by the cheese. I cannot bear not to be thanked. ** Letter to J. Edward Austen (1816-07-09) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I give you joy of having left Winchester. Now you may own how miserable you were there; now it will gradually all come out, your crimes and your miseries — how often you went up by the Mail to London and threw away fifty guineas at a tavern, and how often you were on the point of hanging yourself, restrained only, as some ill-natured aspersion upon poor old Winton has it, by the want of a tree within some miles of the city. ** Letter to J. Edward Austen (1816-12-16) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * What should I do with your strong, manly, spirited sketches, full of variety and glow? How could I possibly join them on to the little bit (two inches wide) of ivory on which I work with so fine a brush, as produces little effect after much labour? ** Letter to J. Edward Austen (1816-12-16) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I would recommend to her and Mr. D. the simple regimen of separate rooms. ** Letter (1817-02-20) on Mrs. Deedes having an eighteenth child [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Single women have a dreadful propensity for being poor, which is one very strong argument in favour of matrimony. ** Letter to Fanny Knight (1817-03-13) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Many thanks for your kind care for my health; I certainly have not been well for many weeks, and about a week ago I was very poorly. I have had a good deal of fever at times, and indifferent nights; but I am considerably better now and am recovering my looks a little, which have been bad enough — black and white, and every wrong colour. I must not depend upon being ever very blooming again. Sickness is a dangerous indulgence at my time of life. ** Letter to Fanny Knight (1817-03-23) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I know no better way, my dearest Edward, of thanking you for your affectionate concern for me during my illness than by telling you myself, as soon as possible, that I continue to get better. I will not boast of my handwriting; neither that nor my face have yet recovered their proper beauty, but in other respects I am gaining strength very fast. I am now out of bed from 9 in the morning to 10 at night: upon the sofa, 'tis true, but I eat my meals with Aunt Cass in a rational way, and can employ myself, and walk from one room to another. Mr. Lyford says he will cure me, and if he fails, I shall draw up a memorial and lay it before the Dean and Chapter, and have no doubt of redress from that pious, learned, and disinterested body. ** Letter to J. Edward Austen (1817-05-27) [''Jane Austen, Her Life and Letters: A Family Record''] * There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature. ** [[Northanger Abbey]] ===Works=== ====Love and Friendship==== *Sophia shrieked and fainted on the ground—I screamed and instantly ran mad! We remained thus mutually deprived of our senses some minutes, and on regaining them were deprived of them again. For an hour and a quarter did we continue in this unfortunate situation. **''Love and Friendship'' (1790) ====History of England==== *It was in this reign that Joan of Arc reigned and made such a ''row'' among the English. **'The History of England'' (1791) *There were several Battles between the Yorkists and the Lancastrians, in which the former (as they ought) usually won. **'The History of England'' (1791) *She [Mary I] married Philip King of Spain, who in her sister's reign, was famous for building Armadas. **'The History of England'' (1791) ====Sense and Sensibility==== {{main|Sense and Sensibility}} * "I am afraid", replied Elinor, "that the pleasantness of an employment does not always evince its propriety." ** ''[[Sense and Sensibility]]'' (1811) * People always live forever when there is an annuity to be paid them. ** ''Sense and Sensibility'' (1811) ====Pride and Prejudice==== {{main|Pride and Prejudice}} *It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. ** ''[[Pride and Prejudice]]'' (1813) * To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love. ** ''Pride and Prejudice'' (1813) * Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. ** ''Pride and Prejudice'' (1813) * One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty. ** ''Pride and Prejudice'' (1813) * For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors and laugh at them in our turn? ** ''Pride and Prejudice'' (1813) * The pride of any mother is to give birth to a responsible and successful child. ** Quoted in: Kabir, Hajara Muhammad (2010). Northern women development. [Nigeria]. ISBN 978-978-906-469-4. OCLC 890820657 ====Persuasion==== {{main|Persuasion}} * One does not love a place the less for having suffered in it, unless it has been all suffering, nothing but suffering. ** ''[[Persuasion]]'' (1817) * A lady, without a family, was the very best preserver of furniture in the world. ** ''Persuasion'' (1817) * It was, perhaps, one of those cases in which advice is good or bad only as the event decides. **''Persuasion'' (1817) * I must learn to brook being happier than I deserve. ** Persuasion (1817) ====Mansfield Park==== {{main|Mansfield Park}} * A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. ** ''[[Mansfield Park]]'' (1814) * An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that she may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion. All is safe with a lady engaged: no harm can be done. ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) * We do not look in great cities for our best morality. ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) * She was of course only too good for him; but as nobody minds having what is too good for them, he was very steadily earnest in the pursuit of the blessing... ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) * I speak what appears to me the general opinion; and where an opinion is general, it is usually correct. ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) * Let other pens dwell on guilt and misery. ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) * "I shall soon be rested," said Fanny; "to sit in the shade on a fine day, and look upon verdure, is the most perfect refreshment." ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) * it will, I believe, be everywhere found, that as the clergy are, or are not what they ought to be, so are the rest of the nation. ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) * It is a lovely night, and they are much to be pitied who have not been taught to feel, in some degree, as you do; who have not, at least, been given a taste for Nature in early life. They lose a great deal. ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) * But there certainly are not so many men of large fortune in the world as there are pretty women to deserve them. ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) * Of various admirals I could tell you a great deal: of them and their flags, and the gradation of their pay, and their bickerings and jealousies. But, in general, I can assure you that they are all passed over, and all very ill used. Certainly, my home at my uncle’s brought me acquainted with a circle of admirals. Of Rears and Vices I saw enough. Now do not be suspecting me of a pun, I entreat. ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) ====Emma==== {{main|Emma}} * One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other. ** ''[[Emma]]'' (1815) * Business, you know, may bring money, but friendship hardly ever does. ** ''Emma'' (1815) * ...why did we wait for any thing? — why not seize the pleasure at once? — How often is happiness destroyed by preparation, foolish preparation! ** ''Emma'' (1815) * Human nature is so well disposed towards those who are in interesting situations, that a young person, who either marries or dies, is sure of being kindly spoken of. ** ''Emma'' (1815) * Surprizes are foolish things. The pleasure is not enhanced, and the inconvenience is often considerable. ** ''Emma'' (1815) * There are people who the more you do for them, the less they will do for themselves. ** ''Emma'' (1815) * Ah! there is nothing like staying at home for real comfort. ** ''Emma'' (1815) * One has not great hopes from Birmingham. I always say there is something direful in the sound... ** ''Emma'' (1815) ====Northanger Abbey==== {{main|Northanger Abbey}} * To look almost pretty is an acquisition of higher delight to a girl who has been looking plain for the first fifteen years of her life than a beauty from her cradle can ever receive. ** ''[[Northanger Abbey]]'' (1817) * A woman especially, if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can. ** ''Northanger Abbey'' (1817) * Could they be perpetrated without being known, in a country like this, where social and literary intercourse is on such a footing, where every man is surrounded by a neighbourhood of voluntary spies, and where roads and newspapers lay everything open? ** ''Northanger Abbey'' (1817) * ...from politics, it was an easy step to silence. ** ''Northanger Abbey'' (1817) * It would be mortifying to the feelings of many ladies, could they be made to understand how little the heart of man is affected by what is costly or new in their attire. ** ''Northanger Abbey'' (1817) * A very short trial convinced her that a curricle was the prettiest equipage in the world ** ''Northanger Abbey'' (1817) *The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel must be intolerably stupid ** "Northanger Abbey" (1817) ====Lady Susan==== * What could I do! Facts are such horrid things! ** "Lady Susan", Letter XXXII (1871) {{Misattributed begin}} == Misattributed == * Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings. ** Said by Fanny Price in a 1999 adaptation of ''Mansfield Park''. Actual quote: *** Dinner was soon followed by tea and coffee, a ten miles' drive home allowed no waste of hours; and from the time of their sitting down to table, it was a quick succession of busy nothings till the carriage came to the door, and Mrs. Norris, having fidgeted about, and obtained a few pheasants' eggs and a cream cheese from the housekeeper, and made abundance of civil speeches to Mrs. Rushworth, was ready to lead the way. {{Misattributed end}} == Quotes about Jane Austen == * You could not shock her more than she shocks me;<br>Beside her [[James Joyce|Joyce]] seems innocent as grass.<br>It makes me most uncomfortable to see<br>An English spinster of the middle class<br>Describe the amorous effects of "brass,"<br>Reveal so frankly and with such sobriety<br>The economic basis of society. ** [[W. H. Auden]], ''Letter to Lord Byron'' (1936), lines 113–119 *As she grew up, the politics of the day occupied very little of her attention, but she probably shared the feeling of moderate [[w:Tory|Toryism]] which prevailed in her family. She was well acquainted with the old periodicals from the '[[w:The Spectator (1711)|Spectator]]' downwards. Her knowledge of [[Samuel Richardson|Richardson]]'s works was such as no one is likely again to acquire, now that the multitude and the merits of our light literature have called off the attention of readers from that great master. Every circumstance narrated in [[w:The History of Sir Charles Grandison|Sir Charles Grandison]], all that was ever said or done in the cedar parlour, was familiar to her; and the wedding days of Lady L. and Lady G. were as well remembered as if they had been living friends. Amongst her favourite writers, [[Samuel Johnson|Johnson]] in prose, [[George Crabbe|Crabbe]] in verse, and [[William Cowper|Cowper]] in both, stood high. **James Edward Austen-Leigh, ''[[w:A Memoir of Jane Austen|A Memoir of Jane Austen]]'' (1871; 2002 ed.), p. 71 *I now desire to offer a few observations on them [the novels], and especially on one point, on which my age renders me a competent witness—the fidelity with which they represent the opinions and manners of the class of society in which the author lived early in this century. They do this the more faithfully on account of the very deficiency with which they have been sometimes charged—namely, that they make no attempt to raise the standard of human life, but merely represent it as it was. They certainly were not written to support any theory or inculcate any particular moral, except indeed the great moral which is to be equally gathered from an observation of the course of actual life—namely, the superiority of high over low principles, and of greatness over littleness of mind. **James Edward Austen-Leigh, ''[[w:A Memoir of Jane Austen|A Memoir of Jane Austen]]'' (1871; 2002 ed.), p. 116 * Jane Austen? I feel that I am approaching dangerous ground. The reputation of Jane Austen is surrounded by cohorts of defenders who are ready to do murder for their sacred cause. They are nearly all fanatics. They will not listen. If anyone “went for” Jane, anything might happen to him. He would assuredly be called on to resign from his clubs...I do not even agree that Jane was a great novelist. She was a great little novelist. She is marvellous, intoxicating: she has unique wit, vast quantities of common sense, a most agreeable sense of proportion, much narrative skill. And she is always readable. But her world is a tiny world, and even of that tiny world she ignores, consciously or unconsciously, the fundamental factors. She did not know enough of the world to be a great novelist. She had not the ambition to be a great novelist. She knew her place; her present “fans” do not know her place, and their antics would without doubt have excited Jane's lethal irony. ** [[Arnold Bennett]] (1927) * Jane Austen … provides, at scores of points, a commentary that corrects any naive over-identification that we are tempted to commit. … Many readers have resisted that corrective. … Critics have often objected, for example, to the presence of a persistent voice that could allow itself, at what conventionally should have been the moment of supreme passion, to undermine the conventional effects with the famous (or infamous) narrative intrusion. … Some readers have considered such passages to be dodges, signs of Austen's own sexual inhibitions or lack of novelistic skill. … I suggest instead that they are signs of a novelist who knows her double task: how to abide by the demands of a conventional form, while making the whole thing work for matters ''un''conventional. ** [[w:Wayne C. Booth|Wayne C. Booth]], ''The Company We Keep: An Ethics of Fiction'' (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1988), pp. 433–434 * [M]ost of us, male and female, are as children compared with this one glorious human being. ** [[w:Wayne C. Booth|Wayne C. Booth]], ''The Company We Keep: An Ethics of Fiction'' (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1988), p. 434 * [T]he power of the realized conventional form, the delicious happiness Austen makes us feel, must surely be counteracted by a kind of inquiry that is as courageous and sensitive and resistant as Austen's reading of her own predecessors. She knew better than to pretend that powerful fictions are not dangerous. She thus would welcome, I like to think, the probing questions that feminist critics have been teaching us to ask. Her kind of critical spirit, applied … to her kind of works, will not leave those works unmodified. But to me it is reassuring to discover that most of the modifications, most of what we learn by asking the questions raised by feminist critics, leave Jane Austen looking perhaps even greater than she did before. ** [[w:Wayne C. Booth|Wayne C. Booth]], ''The Company We Keep: An Ethics of Fiction'' (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1988), p. 435 *In all her novels, though in varying degrees, Jane Austen regards the characters, good and bad alike, with ironical amusement, because they never see the situation as it really is and as she sees it. This is the deeper source of our unbroken pleasure in reading her. We constantly share her point of view, and are aware of the amusing difference between the fact and its appearance to the actors. If you fail to perceive and enjoy this, you are not really reading Jane Austen. Some readers do not perceive it, and therefore fail to appreciate her. Others perceive it without enjoying it, and they think her cynical. She is never cynical, and not often merely satirical. A cynic or a mere satirist may be intellectually pleased by human absurdities and illusions, but he does not feel them to be good. But to Jane Austen, so far as they are not seriously harmful, they are altogether pleasant, because they are both ridiculous and right. **[[w:A. C. Bradley|A. C. Bradley]], 'Jane Austen', ''Essays and Studies by Members of the English Association, Vol. II'' (1911), p. 19 * Why do you like Miss Austen so very much? I am puzzled on that point. … I read that sentence of yours, and then I got the book. And what did I find? An accurate daguerreotyped portrait of a commonplace (everyday) face; carefully fenced, highly cultivated garden, with neat borders and delicate flowers; but no glance of bright vivid physiognomy, no open country, no fresh air, no blue hill, no bonny beck. I should hardly like to live with her ladies and gentlemen, in their elegant but confined houses. ** [[Charlotte Brontë]], quote in ''Original Penguin Classics Introduction to Pride and Prejudice.'' by Tanner, Tony (1972). 80 Strand, London, WC2R, England: Penguin Books, Ltd. {{ISBN|0-141-43951-3}}. *The essence of her certainty is that the reforms she perceives to be necessary are within the attitudes of individuals; she calls for no general changes in the world of the established lesser [[w:Landed gentry|landed gentry]]. … Her distinctions between true gentlemanliness and the shell of it are keen, perhaps because—like Elizabeth Bennet—she has experienced social rebuffs at first hand. She is certainly no sycophant of wealth or rank, and she does not deal intimately with—or apparently much like—the great aristocracy. The class she deals with has local and not national importance: in eighteenth-century terms, she is a [[w:Tories (British political party)|Tory]] rather than a [[w:Whigs (British political party)|Whig]]. She believes that the gentleman—as her words "consequence" and "usefulness" imply—derives his personal dignity from the contributions he makes at the head of an organic, hierarchical, small community. It is for such a community, ideally perceived, that her novels speak... Jane Austen's novels belong decisively to one class of partisan novels, the [[Conservatism|conservative]]. Intellectually she is [[orthodox]]... Her important innovations are technical and stylistic modifications within a clearly defined and accepted genre. **[[w:Marilyn Butler|Marilyn Butler]], ''Jane Austen and the War of Ideas'' (1975), pp. 1-2 *The daughter and sister of clergymen of the [[w:Church of England|Established Church]], she began life in the conservative fold, and even as a teenager was the author of a satire on sensibility, ''Love and Friendship''. Two of her first completed novels, ''Sense and Sensibility'' and ''Northanger Abbey'' … display broadly the typical attitudes of the feminine type of conservative novel... The key issue on which virtue is distinguished from vice is the choice of a marriage-partner. The key virtues are prudence and concern for the evidence; the vices are romanticism, self-indulgence, conceit, and, for Jane Austen, other subtle variations upon the broad anti-[[w:Jacobin (politics)|jacobin]] target of [[individualism]]. … [T]hese last three novels reveal a sense of a hazard to the larger community which distinguishes them from the earlier group: the heroine's ethical choices no longer solely affect her private happiness in life, but are subtly interlinked with the stability and well-being of her society. In this too they reflect the broadening and deepening of range given to the conservative cause in the years 1797–8 by the critical turn in the [[w:French Revolutionary Wars|war]], and by the articulate leadership of ''[[w:Anti-Jacobin|The Anti-Jacobin]]''. Whatever their actual date of composition, they belong generically, like all Jane Austen's works, to a movement that defines itself by its opposition to [[revolution]]. **[[w:Marilyn Butler|Marilyn Butler]], ''Jane Austen and the War of Ideas'' (1975), pp. 122-123 *[I]n ''Northanger Abbey'' Jane Austen develops...her version of the revolutionary character, the man or woman who by acting on a system of selfishness, threatens friends of more orthodox principles; and ultimately, through cold-blooded cynicism in relation to the key social institution of marriage, threatens human happiness at a very fundamental level. Isabella Thorpe, Lady Susan, Mary Crawford, all like Isabella pursue the modern creed of self, and as such are Jane Austen's reinterpretation of a standard figure of the period, the desirable, amoral woman whose activities threaten manners and morals. … That Jane Austen is perfectly clear what she is doing can be demonstrated by identifying the same cluster of themes and characters in ''Sense and Sensibility''. Inheriting a set of conservative dogmas, and some impossibly theatrical characters—notably the revolutionary villain—already in her first two full-length novels she produces a more natural equivalent, on a scale appropriate to comedy. Her villains are not only better art than her rivals'; they are also better propaganda. … Her selfish characters are consistently smaller and meaner than their orthodox opponents, the heroines; they are restricted within the bounds of their own being, and their hearts and minds are impoverished. Jane Austen's achievement, the feat of the subtlest technician among the English novelists, is to rethink the material of the conservative novel in terms that are at once naturalistic and intellectually consistent. **[[w:Marilyn Butler|Marilyn Butler]], ''Jane Austen and the War of Ideas'' (1975), pp. 180-181 *Jane Austen has been criticized as trivial by the same enlightened race of critics as think her incapable of depicting passion. But such a criticism reveals a complete failure to grasp the convention within which her art is constructed. For aesthetic reasons she limits herself, as we have seen, to the mood of comedy and the world of the small gentry in England. But comedy can deal, and always has since the days of the Greeks, with themes as important and significant as those of tragedy: while the life of an English Squire's wife is as serious as the life of any one else: it can no more avoid the central problems that face mankind during its sojourn on this planet. The visible structure of Jane Austen's stories may be flimsy enough; but their foundations drive deep down into the basic principles of human conduct. On her bit of ivory she has engraved a criticism of life as serious and as considered as [[Thomas Hardy|Hardy]]'s. **[[Lord David Cecil]], 'Introduction', in Jane Austen, ''Sense and Sensibility'' (1931), p. xiii *[[Comedy]] was implicit in the manner in which she told her story. Her irony, her delicate ruthless irony, was of the substance of her style. It never obtruded itself; sometimes it only glinted out in a turn of phrase. But it was never absent for more than a paragraph; and her most straightforward piece of exposition was tart with its perfume. **[[Lord David Cecil]], The Leslie Stephen Lecture at the University of Cambridge (1 May 1935), quoted in ''The Times'' (2 May 1935), p. 11 *Jane Austen influenced me very much in a general way. I read her early with great pleasure and often since, and I think it's the, it's the tone is what I've liked about her, very cool, amused, but not ill-tempered tone. What I liked so very much about her is that she's quite ruthless in pointing out weaknesses and making fun, but she never seems in a bad temper, wishing to do down the characters, and I find this very agreeable – this sort of ruthless, good tempered, just, humorous outlook. I also like the mixture of her rather tough, robust judgement combined with a silvery, elegant refinement of manner. I think this contrast between the delicacy of the manner and the robustness of the judgement is very sympathetic to me. **[[Lord David Cecil]], interview with Patrick Garland for the BBC documentary ''Conversations at Cranborne'' (1970), quoted in Tristram Powell, 'A Television Interview', in ''David Cecil: A Portrait by his Friends'' (1990), p. 164 *[A]s her would-be biographer, I had to face the fact that information about Jane Austen the woman was limited and fragmentary. She remains for me – as no doubt she would have wished – not an intimate but an acquaintance. **[[Lord David Cecil]], ''A Portrait of Jane Austen'' (1978), p. 10 *Miss Austen's language deserves closer attention than it has received. She is not indeed one of the great writers of English prose of the early nineteenth century; but she is one of the greatest, because one of the most accurate, writers of dialogue of her own or any age; and of the writers of her period who furnish good and abundant specimens of polite conversation, she is to-day by far the most popular. **[[w:Robert William Chapman|Robert William Chapman]], 'Appendixes: Miss Auten's English', ''The Novels of Jane Austen: The Text based on Collation of the Early Editions, Volume I'' (1923), p. 389 * Jane Austen was born before those bonds which (we are told) protected women from truth, were burst by the [[w:Brontë family|Brontës]] or elaborately untied by [[George Eliot]]. Yet the fact remains that Jane Austen knew more about men than either of them. Jane Austen may have been protected from truth: but it was precious little of truth that was protected from her. ** [[G. K. Chesterton]], ''The Victorian Age in Literature'' (1913) * She knew what she knew, like a sound dogmatist: she did not know what she did not — like a sound agnostic. ** [[G. K. Chesterton]], ''The Victorian Age in Literature'' (1913) [University of Notre Dame Press, 1963], Ch. II: The Great Victorian Novelists (p. 53) *This is something more than the discovery of a document; it is the discovery of an inspiration. And that inspiration was the inspiration of [[w:Gargantua and Pantagruel|Gargantua]] and of [[The Pickwick Papers|Pickwick]]; it was the gigantic inspiration of laughter. **[[G. K. Chesterton]], 'Preface' to Jane Austen, ''Love & Freindship and Other Early Works'' (1922), p. xiv * I am at a loss to understand why people hold Miss Austen's novels at so high a rate, which seem to me vulgar in tone, sterile in invention, imprisoned in the wretched conventions of English society, without genius, wit, or knowledge of the world. Never was life so pinched & narrow. The one problem in the mind of the writer in both the stories I have read, "Persuasion," and "Pride & Prejudice," is marriageableness. All that interests in any character introduced is still this one, Has he or she money to marry with, & conditions conforming? 'Tis "the nympholepsy of a fond despair," say rather, of an English boarding-house. Suicide is more respectable. **[[Ralph Waldo Emerson]], ''Emerson: Selected Journals 1841–1877'', edited by Lawrence Rosenwald (2010), The Library of America, p. 768 *I read ''Madame Bovary'' and Jane Austen and [[George Eliot]] over and over. **1993 interview in ''Conversations with [[Louise Erdrich]] and [[Michael Dorris]]'' edited by Allan Chavkin and Nancy Feyl Chavkin (1994) * Why do the characters in Jane Austen give us a slightly new pleasure each time they come in, as opposed to the merely repetitive pleasure that is caused by a character in Dickens? Why do they combine so well in a conversation, and draw one another out, without seeming to do so, and never perform? The answer to this question can be put in several ways; that, unlike Dickens, she was a real artist, that she never stooped to caricature, etc. But the best reply is that her characters, though smaller than his, are more highly organized. They function all round, and even if her plot made greater demands on them than it does, they would still be adequate. ** [[E. M. Forster]], ''Aspects of The Novel'' (1927) *Perhaps my favorite English novelist is Jane Austen. **[[Natalia Ginzburg]] [https://salmagundi.skidmore.edu/articles/29-an-interview-with-natalia-ginzburg Interview] (1992) * I have been reading Miss Austen's Emma, which I had entirely forgotten, with the greatest enjoyment. I think it an admirable book, & I dare say you will agree with me. Miss Austen is an inimitable painter of quiet life. It would be difficult to say where the interest of Emma lies, yet it does interest strongly. There is no fine writing; no laboured description; no imaginative or ideal touches; no working on the feelings. Its magic must be its truth. It is exquisitely true. Life is presented to us, not as it may be taken in rare situations, in picturesque emergencies, but as we see it everyday. Common, workday life, with here & there a suit of best for Sundays. Yet there is nothing trivial. It is what Alfred calls in one of his unfinished poems "most ideal unideal, most uncommon commonplace." Dignity in the sentiments, dignity in the style. Quite a woman's book — (don't frown, Miss Fytche — I mean it for compliment) — none but a woman & a lady could possess that tact of minute observation, & that delicacy of sarcasm. ** [[w:Arthur Hallam|Arthur Henry Hallam]], letter to fiancé Emily (Emilia) Tennyson (1833-01-25), ''Jane Austen and her Readers, 1786-1945'', by Katie Halsey (Anthem Nineteenth-Century Series) *Don't forget books. What would life be without them? [[Emily Brontë]], [[Edgar Allan Poe]], [[F. Scott Fitzgerald]], [[Toni Morrison]], Jane Austen, [[William Faulkner]]. Read the greats-they're great for a reason. They know how to chart the human soul. (p 32) **[[Alice Hoffman]] ''Survival Lessons'' (2013) * Which brings us again, after this long way about, to Jane Austen and her novels, and that troublesome question about them. She was great and they were beautiful, because she and they were honest, and dealt with nature nearly a hundred years ago as realism deals with it to-day. Realism is nothing more and nothing less than the truthful treatment of material, and Jane Austen was the first and the last of the English novelists to treat material with entire truthfulness. Because she did this, she remains the most artistic of the English novelists, and alone worthy to be matched with the great Scandinavian and Slavic and Latin artists. ** [[William Dean Howells]], ''Criticism and Fiction'' (1891), Chapter 15 *I read ''Pride and Prejudice'' when I was about 8 or 9. It was the first adult novel I read and it opened my imagination to the immense possibilities of the world of fiction and, young though I was, produced an immediate response to Jane Austen that has remained as strong today as it was 85 years ago and, I believe, helped to make me a writer. **[[P. D. James]], quoted in 'Sex, Mao, motorcycles – the books', ''The Times Saturday Review'' (29 September 2012), p. 10 *[T]he attempt to recruit Jane Austen into one of the armies in an ideological war is mistaken... It is indeed useful to compare her to her contemporaries...to confirm her originality and independence, and appreciate how distinctively absent ideology is from her fiction. She ranks not among those novelists like [[Leo Tolstoy|Tolstoy]] and [[George Eliot]] who are in some sense teachers or preachers, but among those like [[Henry James|James]] and [[Marcel Proust|Proust]], for whom the depiction and analysis of human beings in thought and action are enough. Or in different terms, she is of the school of [[Sophocles]] and [[William Shakespeare|Shakespeare]], not that of [[Dante Alighieri|Dante]] and [[John Milton|Milton]]. **[[w:Richard Jenkyns (professor)|Richard Jenkyns]], ''A Fine Brush on Ivory: An Appreciation of Jane Austen'' (2004), p. 184 * Jane lies in Winchester — blessed be her shade!<br>Praise the Lord for making her, and her for all she made!<br>And while the stones of Winchester, or Milsom Street, remain,<br>Glory, love, and honour unto England's Jane! ** [[Rudyard Kipling]], Epigraph to 'The Janeites' (1924) *(“What do you owe Jane Austen?”) Endless pleasure. Years and years of delight. (“What did you learn from Jane Austen?”) A great deal about life. (“For example?”) I can't give you an example. You don't get fortune cookie maxims from a great novelist. You learn what life is like and what people are like. **1988 interview in ''Conversations with [[Ursula Le Guin]]'' (2008) *(“[[Samuel R. Delany|Chip Delany]] says that science fiction is as much a way of "reading" as it is a way of writing, and learn that. What is it that we have to learn?”) That's true for realism, too. You have to learn how to read Jane Austen. We have to learn how to read realistic fiction. A lot of people never do. Some of them, our fantasy readers, don't know how to read [[William Makepeace Thackeray|Thackeray]], or any novels. They don't know what to expect, they don't know what the rewards are supposed to be. **1994 interview in ''Conversations with [[Ursula Le Guin]]'' (2008) * The delight derived from her pictures arises from our sympathy with ordinary characters, our relish of humor, and our intellectual pleasure in art for art's sake. But when it is admitted that she never stirs the deeper emotions, that she never fills the soul with a noble aspiration, or brightens it with a fine idea, but, at the utmost, only teaches us charity for the ordinary failings of ordinary people, and sympathy with their goodness, we have admitted an objection which lowers her claims to rank among the great benefactors of the race; and this sufficiently explains why, with all her excellence, her name has not become a household word. Her fame, we think, must endure. Such art as hers can never grow old, never be superseded. But, after all, miniatures are not frescoes, and her works are miniatures. Her place is among the Immortals; but the pedestal is erected in a quiet niche of the great temple. ** [[George Henry Lewes]], ''The Novels of Jane Austen'' (1859) *[[William Shakespeare|Shakespeare]] has had neither equal nor second. But among the writers who, in the point which we have noticed, have approached nearest to the manner of the great master, we have no hesitation in placing Jane Austen, a woman of whom England is justly proud. She has given us a multitude of characters, all, in a certain sense, commonplace, all such as we meet every day. Yet they are all as perfectly discriminated from each other as if they were the most eccentric of human beings... And almost all this is done by touches so delicate that they elude analysis, that they defy the powers of description, and that we know them to exist only by the general effect to which they have contributed. **[[Thomas Babington Macaulay, 1st Baron Macaulay|Thomas Macaulay]], 'Madame D'Arblay', ''Edinburgh Review'' (January 1843), reprinted in ''Critical and Miscellaneous Essays, Volume 5'' (1844), p. 68 *Something recalled to his mind the traits of character which are so delicately touched in Miss Austen's novels. "There was genius in the sketching out that new kind of novel." He was vexed for the credit of the ''[[w:Edinburgh Review|Edinburgh Review]]'', that it had left unnoticed; the ''[[w:Quarterly Review|Quarterly]]'' had done her more justice. It was impossible for a foreigner to understand fully the merit of her works. [[Germaine de Staël|Madame de Staël]], to whom he had recommended of her novels, found no interest in it, and, in her note to him in reply, said it was "''vulgaire"'', and yet he said nothing could be more true than what he wrote in answer,—"''there is no book which that word would suit so little''." "Every village could furnish matter for a novel to Miss Austen. She did not need the common materials for a novel—strong passion, or strong incident." **[[James Mackintosh]], quoted in ''Memoirs of the Life of Sir James Mackintosh, Vol. II'', ed. Robert James Mackintosh (1836 ed.), p. 472 * When I was young, it was not thought proper for young ladies to study very conspicuously; and especially with pen in hand. Young ladies (at least in provincial towns) were expected to sit down in the parlour to sew,—during which reading aloud was permitted,—or to practice their music; but so as to be fit to receive callers, without any signs of blue‐stockingism which could be reported abroad. Jane Austen herself, the Queen of novelists, the immortal creator of Anne Elliott, Mr. Knightly, and a score or two more of unrivalled intimate friends of the whole public, was compelled by the feelings of her family to cover up her manuscripts with a large piece of muslin work, kept on the table for the purpose, whenever any genteel people came in. So it was with other young ladies, for some time after Jane Austen was in her grave; and thus my first studies in philosophy were carried on with great care and reserve. ** [[Harriet Martineau]], ''Harriet Martineau's Autobiography, vol. 1'' [1855] *In her there are united, in rare combination, a sense of disillusionment and gaiety of temperament—it is the perception of the comic once more which reconciles the two. **Katherine Marion Metcalfe, 'Introduction', in Jane Austen, ''Pride and Prejudice'' (1912), p. xiii *A rational wisdom, exceptional intellect, unique in wit, found herself in circumstances which were always meagre, and at times irrational; and endowed with fastidiousness on the one hand and enjoyment on the other, she employed her experience creatively in the service of Comedy. The novels are a vent. **Katherine Marion Metcalfe, 'Introduction', in Jane Austen, ''Pride and Prejudice'' (1912), p. xv * The want of elegance is almost the only want in Miss Austen. I have not read her ‘Mansfield Park;’ but it is impossible not to feel in every line of ‘Pride and Prejudice,’ in every word of ‘Elizabeth,’ the entire want of taste which could produce so pert, so worldly a heroine as the beloved of such a man as Darcy. Wickham is equally bad. Oh! they were just fit for each other, and I cannot forgive that delightful Darcy for parting them. Darcy should have married Jane. He is of all the admirable characters the best designed and the best sustained. I quite agree with you in preferring Miss Austen to Miss Edgeworth. If the former had a little more taste, a little more perception of the graceful, as well as of the humorous, I know not indeed any one to whom I should not prefer her. There is not of the hardness, the cold selfishness, of Miss Edgeworth about her writings; she is in a much better humour with the world; she preaches no sermons; she wants nothing but the beau-idéal of the female character to be a perfect novel writer; and perhaps even that beau-idéal would only be missed by such a petite maîtresse in books as myself. ** [[w:Mary Russell Mitford|Mary Russell Mitford]], letter to Sir William Elford, 1st Baronet (1814-12-20), ''The Life of Mary Russell Mitford, vol. 1'' (1870) * I have discovered that our great favourite, Miss Austen, is my countrywoman; that mamma knew all her family very intimately; and that she herself is an old maid (I beg her pardon – I mean a young lady) with whom mamma before her marriage was acquainted. Mamma says that she was then the prettiest, silliest, most affected, husband-hunting butterfly she ever remembers; and a friend of mine, who visits her now, says that she has stiffened into the most perpendicular, precise, taciturn piece of “single blessedness” that ever existed, and that, till ‘Pride and Prejudice’ showed what a precious gem was hidden in that unbending case, she was no more regarded in society than a poker or a fire-screen, or any other thin upright piece of wood or iron that fills its corner in peace and quietness. The case is very different now; she is still a poker – but a poker of whom every one is afraid. It must be confessed that this silent observation from such an observer is rather formidable. Most writers are good-humoured chatterers – neither very wise nor very witty: – but nine times out of ten (at least in the few that I have known) unaffected and pleasant, and quite removing by their conversation any awe that may have been excited by their works. But a wit, a delineator of character, who does not talk, is terrific indeed! ** [[w:Mary Russell Mitford|Mary Russell Mitford]], letter to Sir William Elford, 1st Baronet (1815-04-03), ''The Life of Mary Russell Mitford, vol. 1'' (1870) * Her exquisite story of 'Persuasion' absolutely haunted me. Whenever it rained (and it did rain every day that I stayed in Bath, except one), I thought of Anne Elliott meeting Captain Wentworth, when driven by a shower to take refuge in a shoe-shop. Whenever I got out of breath in climbing up-hill (which, considering that one dear friend lived in Lansdown Crescent, and another on Beechen Cliff, happened also pretty often), I thought of that same charming Anne Elliott, and of that ascent from the lower town to the upper, during which all her tribulations ceased. And when at last, by dint of trotting up one street and down another, I incurred the unromantic calamity of a blister on the heel, even that grievance became classical by the recollection of the similar catastrophe, which, in consequence of her peregrinations with the Admiral, had befallen dear Mrs. Croft. I doubt if any one, even Scott himself, have left such perfect impressions of character and place as Jane Austen. ** [[w:Mary Russell Mitford|Mary Russell Mitford]], ''Recollections of a Literary Life, or Books, Places and People, vol. 2'' (1852) *the sharply stitched phrases of Jane Austen **[[Aurora Levins Morales]] ''Medicine Stories: Essays for Radicals'' (2019 edition) * In fact, though she lacked the {{w|Classical education in the Western world|classical education}} bestowed, as of right, on her brothers, and claimed brightly to know nothing of 'science and philosophy', Jane Austen was better informed, and far better read, than most women of her day, having good French and some Italian, a love of history, considerable skill in both [[music]] and {{w|drawing}}, and an extensive, intelligent knowledge of some of the greatest writers in the English language, from [[Samuel Johnson|Johnson]], [[Samuel Richardson|Richardson]] and [[Henry Fielding|Fielding]], to [[Oliver Goldsmith|Goldsmith]], [[David Hume|Hume]] and [[George Crabbe|Crabbe]]. ** Josephine Ross, {{cite book|title=Jane Austen: A Companion|publisher=Rutgers University Press|year=2003|isbn=081353299X|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=1nUfCMaLspcC&pg=PA9|page=9}} (1st edition, {{w|John Murray (publishing house)|John Murray}}, 2002) * Every housemaid expects at least once a week as much excitement as would have lasted a Jane Austen heroine throughout a whole novel. ** [[Bertrand Russell]], in ''[[The Conquest of Happiness]]'' (1930), Ch. 4: Boredom and excitement * Also read again and for the third time at least Miss Austen's very finely written novel of Pride and Prejudice. That young lady had a talent for describing the involvement and feelings and characters of ordinary life which is to me the most wonderful I ever met with. The Big Bow-wow strain I can do myself like any now going, but the exquisite touch which renders ordinary commonplace things and characters interesting from the truth of the description and the sentiment is denied to me. What a pity such a gifted creature died so early! ** [[Walter Scott]], "Walter Scott, an unsigned review of Emma, Quarterly Review". Jane Austen: The Critical Heritage, 1812–1870. Ed. B. C. Southam. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul, 1968. {{ISBN|071002942X}}. 58–69 *You mention Miss Austen; her novels are more true to nature, and have (for my sympathies) passages of finer feeling than any others of this age. She was a person of whom I have heard so well, and think so highly, that I regret not having seen her, nor ever having had an opportunity of testifying to her the respect which I felt for her. **[[Robert Southey]] to [[w:Egerton Brydges|Sir Egerton Brydges]] (8 April 1830), quoted in ''The Autobiography, Times, Opinions, and Contemporaries of Sir Egerton Brydges, Vol. II'' (1834), p. 269 * Miss Austen was surely a great novelist. What she did, she did perfectly. Her work, as far as it goes, is faultless. She wrote of the times in which she lived, of the class of people with which she associated, and in the language which was usual to her as an educated lady. Of romance, -- what we generally mean when we speak of romance -- she had no tinge. Heroes and heroines with wonderful adventures there are none in her novels. Of great criminals and hidden crimes she tells us nothing. But she places us in a circle of gentlemen and ladies, and charms us while she tells us with an unconscious accuracy how men should act to women, and women act to men. It is not that her people are all good; -- and, certainly, they are not all wise. The faults of some are the anvils on which the virtues of others are hammered till they are bright as steel. In the comedy of folly I know no novelist who has beaten her. The letters of Mr. Collins, a clergyman in Pride and Prejudice, would move laughter in a low-church archbishop. ** [[Anthony Trollope]], ''Lecture'' (1870) * Jane Austen's books, too, are absent from this library. Just that one omission alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it. ** [[Mark Twain]], ''Following the Equator'' (1897) * To me his (Edgar Allan Poe's) prose is unreadable — like Jane Austin's [sic]. No there is a difference. I could read his prose on salary, but not Jane's. Jane is entirely impossible. It seems a great pity that they allowed her to die a natural death. ** [[Mark Twain]], letter to [[William Dean Howells]] (1909-01-18) * I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read ''Pride and Prejudice'' I want to dig her up and hit her over the skull with her own shin-bone. ** [[Mark Twain]], Letter, 13 September 1898, in A.B. Paine, ''Mark Twain: A Biography'' (1912) *I don't see how anyone could have a greater scope in knowledge of human nature and reveal more of human nature than Jane Austen. **1972 interview included in ''Conversations with [[Eudora Welty]]'' Edited by Peggy Whitman Prenshaw (1993) *Miss Austin has the merit (in our judgment most essential) of being evidently a Christian writer: a merit which is much enhanced, both on the score of good taste, and of practical utility, by her religion being not at all obtrusive. She might defy the most fastidious critic to call any of her novels, (as [[w:Coelebs in Search of a Wife|Coelebs]] was designated, we will not say altogether without reason,) a "dramatic sermon." The subject is rather alluded to, and that incidentally, than studiously brought forward and dwelt upon. **[[Richard Whately]], 'Modern Novels', ''The Quarterly Review'' (January 1821), p. 359 * Most works in realism tell a succession of such abject truths; they are deeply in earnest, every detail is true, and yet the whole finally tumbles to the ground — true but without significance. How did Jane Austen save her novels from that danger? They appear to be compact of abject truth. Their events are excruciatingly unimportant; and yet, with R. Crusoe, they will probably outlast all Fielding, Scott, George Elliot, Thackeray, and Dickens. The art is so consummate that the secret is hidden; peer at them as hard as one may; shake them; take them apart; one cannot see how it is done. ** [[Thornton Wilder]], ''A preface for Our Town'' (1938) * Whatever 'Bloomsbury' may think of Jane Austen, she is not by any means one of my favourites. I'd give all she ever wrote for half what the [[w:Brontë family|Brontës]] wrote -- if my reason did not compel me to see that she is a magnificent artist. What I shall proceed to find out, from her letters, when I've time, is why she failed to be much better than she was. Something to do with sex, I expect; the letters are full of hints already that she suppressed half of her in her novels. ** [[Virginia Woolf]], Letter to Ethel Smythe, 20 November 1932, in David Dowling, ''Novelists on Novelists'' (1983) * Charlotte Brontë, with all her splendid gift for prose, stumbled and fell with that clumsy weapon in her hands. George Eliot committed atrocities with it that beggar description. Jane Austen looked at it and laughed at it and devised a perfectly natural, shapely sentence proper for her own use and never departed from it. Thus, with less genius for writing than Charlotte Brontë, she got infinitely more said. ** [[Virginia Woolf]], ''A Room of One's Own'' (1929), Chapter 4 * Jane Austen is thus a mistress of much deeper emotion than appears upon the surface. She stimulates us to supply what is not there. What she offers is, apparently, a trifle, yet is composed of something that expands in the reader's mind and endows with the most enduring form of life scenes which are outwardly trivial. Always the stress is laid upon character. How, we are made to wonder, will Emma behave when Lord Osborne and Tom Musgrave make their call at five minutes before three, just as Mary is bringing in the tray and the knife-case? It is an extremely awkward situation. The young men are accustomed to much greater refinement. Emma may prove herself ill-bred, vulgar, a nonentity. The turns and twists of the dialogue keep us on the tenterhooks of suspense. Our attention is half upon the present moment, half upon the future. And when, in the end, Emma behaves in such a way as to vindicate our highest hopes of her, we are moved as if we had been made witnesses of a matter of the highest importance. Here, indeed, in this unfinished and in the main inferior story, are all the elements of Jane Austen's greatness. It has the permanent quality of literature. Think away the surface animation, the likeness to life, and there remains, to provide a deeper pleasure, an exquisite discrimination of human values. ** [[Virginia Woolf]], ''The Common Reader'' (1925) ==External links== {{wikipedia}} {{Wikisource author}} * {{gutenberg author | id=Austen,_Jane | name=Jane Austen}} * [http://www.janeaustenmuseum.org.uk/ The Jane Austen Museum] * [http://books.guardian.co.uk/authors/author/0,5917,-12,00.html ''Guardian'' Books "Author Page"], with profile and links to further articles. * [http://www.pemberley.com The Republic of Pemberley], the largest Jane Austen site on the web. ** [http://www.pemberley.com/janeinfo/janeinfo.html Jane Austen Information Page] ** [http://www.pemberley.com/janeinfo/brablets.html Letters of Jane Austen] ** [http://www.pemberley.com/filmography/filmography.html Filmography of Jane Austen Adaptations] * [http://www.hants.gov.uk/austen Hampshire, home of Jane Austen] * [http://www.jasna.org The Jane Austen Society of North America] * [http://www.shmoop.com/jane-austen/quotes.html Jane Austen quotes] and biography {{DEFAULTSORT:Austen, Jane}} [[Category:1775 births]] [[Category:1817 deaths]] [[Category:Jane Austen]] [[Category:Novelists from England]] [[Category:Anglicans from the United Kingdom]] [[Category:Women authors from England]] [[Category:Women born before the 19th century]] [[Category:People from Hampshire]] jzj4s8yn47bl7kfc6py6twc238g3fkx 3942117 3942115 2026-05-17T17:52:08Z Ficaia 3085955 3942117 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:CassandraAusten-JaneAusten(c.1810) hires.jpg|thumb|right|One half of the world cannot understand the [[pleasures]] of the other. ~ ''[[Emma]]'']] '''[[w:Jane Austen|Jane Austen]]''' ([[December 16]] [[1775]] – [[July 18]] [[1817]]) was an [[England|English]] novelist who recorded the domestic manners of the landed gentry. She is known for her classically understated style and sly, ironic [[humour]]. :See also: ::'''''[[Sense and Sensibility]]''''' (1811) ::'''''[[Pride and Prejudice]]''''' (1813) ::'''''[[Mansfield Park]]''''' (1814) ::'''''[[Emma]]''''' (1815) ::'''''[[Northanger Abbey]]''''' (1817) ::'''''[[Persuasion (novel)|Persuasion]]''''' (1818) == Quotes == [[File:JaneAustenSilhouette.svg|thumb|right|There is a [[stubbornness]] about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me. ~ ''[[Pride and Prejudice]]'' ]] === Letters === * Here I am once more in this scene of dissipation and vice, and I begin already to find my morals corrupted. ** Letter (August 1796) on arriving in London [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps one in a continual state of inelegance. ** Letter (1796-09-18) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Next week I shall begin my operations on my hat, on which you know my principal hopes of happiness depend. ** Letter (1798-10-27) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I am very much obliged to my dear little George for his message - for his ''love'' at least; his ''duty'', I suppose, was only in consequence of some hint of my favorable intentions towards him from his father or mother. I am sincerely rejoiced, however, that I ever was born, since it has been the means of procuring him a dish of tea. ** Letter to Cassandra (1798-12-18) about her nephew George [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * '''I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.''' ** Letter to Cassandra (1798-12-24) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * You deserve a longer letter than this; but it is my unhappy fate seldom to treat people so well as they deserve. ** Letter to Cassandra (1798-12-24) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * '''I had a very pleasant evening, however, though you will probably find out that there was no particular reason for it; but I do not think it worth while to wait for enjoyment until there is some real opportunity for it.''' ** Letter (1799-01-21) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * She would tell you herself that she has a very dreadful cold in her head at present; but I have not much compassion for colds in the head without fever or sore throat. ** Letter to Cassandra (1799-01-21) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I am rather impatient to know the fate of my best gown. ** Letter to Cassandra (1799-05-17) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I cannot help thinking that it is more natural to have flowers grow out of the head than fruit. ** Letter to Cassandra (1799-06-11) on decorating her hat [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I can recollect nothing more to say at present; perhaps breakfast may assist my ideas. I was deceived — my breakfast supplied only two ideas — that the rolls were good and the butter bad. ** Letter (1799-06-19) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * In Paragon we met Mrs. Foley and Mrs. Dowdeswell with her yellow shawl airing out, and at the bottom of Kingsdown Hill we met a gentleman in a buggy, who, on minute examination, turned out to be Dr. Hall — and Dr. Hall in such very deep mourning that either his mother, his wife, or himself must be dead. ** Letter (1799-06-17) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Your abuse of our gowns amuses but does not discourage me; I shall take mine to be made up next week, and the more I look at it the better it pleases me. My cloak came on Tuesday, and, though I expected a good deal, the beauty of the lace astonished me. It is too handsome to be worn — almost too handsome to be looked at. ** Letter to Cassandra (November 1800) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I believe I drank too much wine last night at Hurstbourne; I know not how else to account for the shaking of my hand today. You will kindly make allowance therefore for any indistinctness of writing, by attributing it to this venial error. ** Letter to Cassandra (1800-11-20) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * The General has got the gout, and Mrs. Maitland the jaundice. Miss Debary, Susan, and Sally, all in black, but without any stature, made their appearance, and I was as civil to them as their bad breath would allow me. ** Letter (1800-11-20) on people she met at a ball [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * We have been exceedingly busy ever since you went away. In the first place we have had to rejoice two or three times everyday at your having such very delightful weather for the whole of your journey... ** Letter (1800-11-25) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] [[File:CassandraAusten-JaneAustenBackView(1804).jpg|thumb|right|One cannot fix one's [[eyes]] on the commonest [[natural]] production without finding food for a rambling fancy. ~ [[Mansfield Park (novel)|''Mansfield Park'']] ]] * I have now attained the true art of letter-writing, which we are always told, is to express on paper exactly what one would say to the same person by word of mouth. ** Letter (1801-01-03) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * You are very kind in planning presents for me to make, and my mother has shown me exactly the same attention; but as I do not choose to have generosity dictated to me, I shall not resolve on giving my cabinet to Anna till the first thought of it has been my own. ** Letter to Cassandra (1801-01-08) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Another stupid party last night; perhaps if larger they might be less intolerable, but here there were only just enough to make one card-table, with six people to look on and talk nonsense to each other. ** Letter to Cassandra (1801-05-12) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Mrs. B. and two young women were of the same party, except when Mrs. B. thought herself obliged to leave them to run round the room after her drunken husband. His avoidance, and her pursuit, with the probable intoxication of both, was an amusing scene. ** Letter (1801-05-12) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I cannot anyhow continue to find people agreeable; I respect Mrs. Chamberlayne for doing her hair well, but cannot feel a more tender sentiment. Miss Langley is like any other short girl, with a broad nose and wide mouth, fashionable dress and exposed bosom. Adm. Stanhope is a gentleman-like man, but then his legs are too short and his tail too long. ** Letter to Cassandra (1801-05-12) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * It would have amused you to see our progress. We went up by Sion Hill, and returned across the fields. In climbing a hill Mrs. Chamberlayne is very capital; I could with difficulty keep pace with her, yet would not flinch for the world. On plain ground I was quite her equal. And so we posted away under a fine hot sun, she without any parasol or any shade to her hat, stopping for nothing, and crossing the churchyard at Weston with as much expedition as if we were afraid of being buried alive. ** Letter to Cassandra (1801-05-21) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * We are to have a tiny party here tonight. I hate tiny parties, they force one into constant exertion. ** Letter (1801-05-21) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * You will have a great deal of unreserved discourse with Mrs. K., I dare say, upon this subject, as well as upon many other of our family matters. Abuse everybody but me. ** Letter to Cassandra (1807-01-07) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Our little visitor has just left us, and left us highly pleased with her; she is a nice, natural, open-hearted, affectionate girl, with all the ready civility which one sees in the best children in the present day; so unlike anything that I was myself at her age, that I am often all astonishment and shame. ** Letter to Cassandra (1807-02-08) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * You know how interesting the purchase of a sponge-cake is to me. ** Letter to Cassandra (1808-06-15) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * The pleasures of friendship, of unreserved conversation, of similarity of taste and opinions will make good amends for orange wine. ** Letter to Cassandra (1808-06-20) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * We spent Friday evening with our friends at the boarding-house, and our curiosity was gratified by the sight of their fellow-inmates, Mrs. Drew and Miss Hook, Mr. Wynne and Mr. Fitzhugh; the latter is brother to Mrs. Lance, and very much the gentleman. He has lived in that house more than twenty years, and poor man, is so totally deaf that they say he could not hear a cannon, were it fired close to him; having no cannon at hand to make the experiment, I took it for granted, and talked to him a little with my fingers, which was funny enough. ** Letter (1808-12-27) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I am gratified by her having pleasure in what I write, but I wish the knowledge of my being exposed to her discerning criticism may not hurt my style, by inducing too great a solicitude. I begin already to weigh my words and sentences more than I did, and am looking about for a sentiment, an illustration, or a metaphor in every corner of the room. Could my ideas flow as fast as the rain in the store-closet it would be charming. ** Letter (1809-01-24) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I am sorry to tell you that I am getting very extravagant, and spending all my money, and, what is worse for ''you'', I have been spending yours too. ** Letter to Cassandra (1811-04-18) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I give you joy of our new nephew, and hope if he ever comes to be hanged it will not be till we are too old to care about it. ** Letter to Cassandra (1811-04-25) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * My head-dress was a bugle-band like the border to my gown, and a flower of Mrs Tilson's. I depended upon hearing something of the evening from Mr. W. K., and am very well satisfied with his notice of me — "A pleasing looking young woman" — that must do; one cannot pretend to anything better now; thankful to have it continued a few years longer! ** Letter (1811-04-30) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * How horrible it is to have so many people killed! And what a blessing that one cares for none of them! ** Letter (1811-05-31) referring to the Peninsular War [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I will not say that your mulberry-trees are dead, but I am afraid they are not alive. ** Letter to Cassandra (1811-05-31) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Mr. Digweed has used us basely. Handsome is as handsome does; he is therefore a very ill-looking man. ** Letter to Cassandra (1813-01-24) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Let me know when you begin the new tea, and the new white wine. My present elegancies have not yet made me indifferent to such matters. I am still a cat if I see a mouse. ** Letter to Cassandra (1813-09-23) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * He seems a very harmless sort of young man, nothing to like or dislike in him — goes out shooting or hunting with the two others all the morning, and plays at whist and makes queer faces in the evening. ** Letter to Cassandra (1813-09-23) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * By the bye, as I must leave off being young, I find many ''douceurs'' in being a sort of ''chaperon'', for I am put on the sofa near the fire and can drink as much wine as I like. ** Letter (1813-11-06) on ageing [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I cannot help hoping that ''many'' will feel themselves obliged to buy it. I shall not mind imagining it a disagreeable duty to them, so as they do it. ** Letter (1813-11-06) on the reprint of Sense and Sensibility [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Devereux Forester's being ruined by his vanity is extremely good, but I wish you would not let him plunge into a "vortex of dissipation." I do not object to the thing, but I cannot bear the expression; it is such thorough novel slang, and so old that I daresay Adam met with it in the first novel he opened. ** Letter to niece Anna (1814-09-28) regarding a character in Anna's novel [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Walter Scott has no business to write novels, especially good ones. It is not fair. He has fame and profit enough as a poet, and should not be taking the bread out of other people's mouths. I do not like him, and do not mean to like ''Waverley'' if I can help it, but fear I must. ** Letter to Anna (1814-09-28) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * The Webbs are really gone! When I saw the waggons at the door, and thought of all the trouble they must have in moving, I began to reproach myself for not having liked them better, but since the waggons have disappeared my conscience has been closed again, and I am excessively glad they are gone. ** Letter to Anna (1814-09-28) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] *The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts. * There are such beings in the world — perhaps one in a thousand — as the creature you and I should think perfection; where grace and spirit are united to worth, where the manners are equal to the heart and understanding; but such a person may not come in your way, or, if he does, he may not be the eldest son of a man of fortune, the near relation of your particular friend, and belonging to your own county. ** Letter to Fanny Knight (1814-11-18) on finding love [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * His having been in love with the aunt gives Cecilia an additional interest with him. I like the idea — a very proper compliment to an aunt! I rather imagine indeed that nieces are seldom chosen but out of compliment to some aunt or another. I daresay Ben [Anna's husband] was in love with me once, and would never have thought of ''you'' if he had not supposed me dead of scarlet fever. ** Letter to niece Anna (1814-11-30) regarding characters in Anna's novel [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I wish I could finish stories as fast as you can. I am much obliged to you for the sight of Olivia, and think you have done for her very well; but the good-for-nothing father, who was the real author of all her faults and sufferings, should not escape unpunished. I hope he hung himself, or took the surname of Bone or underwent some direful penance or other. ** Letter to niece Caroline (1814-12-06) regarding a story Caroline sent her [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I am quite honoured by your thinking me capable of drawing such a clergyman as you gave the sketch of in your note of Nov. 16th. But I assure you I am ''not''. The comic part of the character I might be equal to, but not the good, the enthusiastic, the literary. Such a man's conversation must at times be on subjects of science and philosophy, of which I know nothing; or at least be occasionally abundant in quotations and allusions which a woman who, like me, knows only her own mother-tongue, and has read little in that, would be totally without the power of giving. A classical education, or at any rate a very extensive acquaintance with English literature, ancient and modern, appears to me quite indispensable for the person who would do any justice to your clergyman; and I think I may boast myself to be, with all possible vanity, the most unlearned and uninformed female who ever dared to be an authoress. ** Letter to Mr. Clarke, librarian to the Prince Regent (1815-12-11) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * He and I should not in the least agree, of course, in our ideas of novels and heroines. '''Pictures of perfection, as you know, make me sick and wicked;''' but there is some very good sense in what he says, and I particularly respect him for wishing to think well of all young ladies; it shows an amiable and a delicate mind. And he deserves better treatment than to be obliged to read any more of my works. ** Letter to Fanny Knight (1816-03-23) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I could no more write a romance than an epic poem. I could not sit seriously down to write a serious romance under any other motive than to save my life; and if it were indispensable for me to keep it up and never relax into laughing at myself or other people, I am sure I should be hung before I had finished the first chapter. No, I must keep to my own style and go on in my own way; and though I may never succeed again in that, I am convinced that I should totally fail in any other. ** Letter to Mr. Clarke (1816-04-01) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * We saw a countless number of post-chaises full of boys pass by yesterday morning — full of future heroes, legislators, fools, and villains. You have never thanked me for my last letter, which went by the cheese. I cannot bear not to be thanked. ** Letter to J. Edward Austen (1816-07-09) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I give you joy of having left Winchester. Now you may own how miserable you were there; now it will gradually all come out, your crimes and your miseries — how often you went up by the Mail to London and threw away fifty guineas at a tavern, and how often you were on the point of hanging yourself, restrained only, as some ill-natured aspersion upon poor old Winton has it, by the want of a tree within some miles of the city. ** Letter to J. Edward Austen (1816-12-16) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * What should I do with your strong, manly, spirited sketches, full of variety and glow? How could I possibly join them on to the little bit (two inches wide) of ivory on which I work with so fine a brush, as produces little effect after much labour? ** Letter to J. Edward Austen (1816-12-16) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I would recommend to her and Mr. D. the simple regimen of separate rooms. ** Letter (1817-02-20) on Mrs. Deedes having an eighteenth child [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Single women have a dreadful propensity for being poor, which is one very strong argument in favour of matrimony. ** Letter to Fanny Knight (1817-03-13) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * Many thanks for your kind care for my health; I certainly have not been well for many weeks, and about a week ago I was very poorly. I have had a good deal of fever at times, and indifferent nights; but I am considerably better now and am recovering my looks a little, which have been bad enough — black and white, and every wrong colour. I must not depend upon being ever very blooming again. Sickness is a dangerous indulgence at my time of life. ** Letter to Fanny Knight (1817-03-23) [''Letters of Jane Austen -- Brabourne Edition''] * I know no better way, my dearest Edward, of thanking you for your affectionate concern for me during my illness than by telling you myself, as soon as possible, that I continue to get better. I will not boast of my handwriting; neither that nor my face have yet recovered their proper beauty, but in other respects I am gaining strength very fast. I am now out of bed from 9 in the morning to 10 at night: upon the sofa, 'tis true, but I eat my meals with Aunt Cass in a rational way, and can employ myself, and walk from one room to another. Mr. Lyford says he will cure me, and if he fails, I shall draw up a memorial and lay it before the Dean and Chapter, and have no doubt of redress from that pious, learned, and disinterested body. ** Letter to J. Edward Austen (1817-05-27) [''Jane Austen, Her Life and Letters: A Family Record''] * There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature. ** [[Northanger Abbey]] ===Works=== ====Love and Friendship==== *Sophia shrieked and fainted on the ground—I screamed and instantly ran mad! We remained thus mutually deprived of our senses some minutes, and on regaining them were deprived of them again. For an hour and a quarter did we continue in this unfortunate situation. **''Love and Friendship'' (1790) ====History of England==== *It was in this reign that Joan of Arc reigned and made such a ''row'' among the English. **'The History of England'' (1791) *There were several Battles between the Yorkists and the Lancastrians, in which the former (as they ought) usually won. **'The History of England'' (1791) *She [Mary I] married Philip King of Spain, who in her sister's reign, was famous for building Armadas. **'The History of England'' (1791) ====Sense and Sensibility==== {{main|Sense and Sensibility}} * "I am afraid", replied Elinor, "that the pleasantness of an employment does not always evince its propriety." ** ''[[Sense and Sensibility]]'' (1811) * People always live forever when there is an annuity to be paid them. ** ''Sense and Sensibility'' (1811) ====Pride and Prejudice==== {{main|Pride and Prejudice}} *It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. ** ''[[Pride and Prejudice]]'' (1813) * To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love. ** ''Pride and Prejudice'' (1813) * Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. ** ''Pride and Prejudice'' (1813) * One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty. ** ''Pride and Prejudice'' (1813) * For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors and laugh at them in our turn? ** ''Pride and Prejudice'' (1813) * The pride of any mother is to give birth to a responsible and successful child. ** Quoted in: Kabir, Hajara Muhammad (2010). Northern women development. [Nigeria]. ISBN 978-978-906-469-4. OCLC 890820657 ====Persuasion==== {{main|Persuasion}} * One does not love a place the less for having suffered in it, unless it has been all suffering, nothing but suffering. ** ''[[Persuasion]]'' (1817) * A lady, without a family, was the very best preserver of furniture in the world. ** ''Persuasion'' (1817) * It was, perhaps, one of those cases in which advice is good or bad only as the event decides. **''Persuasion'' (1817) * I must learn to brook being happier than I deserve. ** Persuasion (1817) ====Mansfield Park==== {{main|Mansfield Park}} * A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. ** ''[[Mansfield Park]]'' (1814) * An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that she may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion. All is safe with a lady engaged: no harm can be done. ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) * We do not look in great cities for our best morality. ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) * She was of course only too good for him; but as nobody minds having what is too good for them, he was very steadily earnest in the pursuit of the blessing... ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) * I speak what appears to me the general opinion; and where an opinion is general, it is usually correct. ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) * Let other pens dwell on guilt and misery. ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) * "I shall soon be rested," said Fanny; "to sit in the shade on a fine day, and look upon verdure, is the most perfect refreshment." ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) * it will, I believe, be everywhere found, that as the clergy are, or are not what they ought to be, so are the rest of the nation. ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) * It is a lovely night, and they are much to be pitied who have not been taught to feel, in some degree, as you do; who have not, at least, been given a taste for Nature in early life. They lose a great deal. ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) * But there certainly are not so many men of large fortune in the world as there are pretty women to deserve them. ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) * Of various admirals I could tell you a great deal: of them and their flags, and the gradation of their pay, and their bickerings and jealousies. But, in general, I can assure you that they are all passed over, and all very ill used. Certainly, my home at my uncle’s brought me acquainted with a circle of admirals. Of Rears and Vices I saw enough. Now do not be suspecting me of a pun, I entreat. ** ''Mansfield Park'' (1814) ====Emma==== {{main|Emma}} * One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other. ** ''[[Emma]]'' (1815) * Business, you know, may bring money, but friendship hardly ever does. ** ''Emma'' (1815) * ...why did we wait for any thing? — why not seize the pleasure at once? — How often is happiness destroyed by preparation, foolish preparation! ** ''Emma'' (1815) * Human nature is so well disposed towards those who are in interesting situations, that a young person, who either marries or dies, is sure of being kindly spoken of. ** ''Emma'' (1815) * Surprizes are foolish things. The pleasure is not enhanced, and the inconvenience is often considerable. ** ''Emma'' (1815) * There are people who the more you do for them, the less they will do for themselves. ** ''Emma'' (1815) * Ah! there is nothing like staying at home for real comfort. ** ''Emma'' (1815) * One has not great hopes from Birmingham. I always say there is something direful in the sound... ** ''Emma'' (1815) ====Northanger Abbey==== {{main|Northanger Abbey}} * To look almost pretty is an acquisition of higher delight to a girl who has been looking plain for the first fifteen years of her life than a beauty from her cradle can ever receive. ** ''[[Northanger Abbey]]'' (1817) * A woman especially, if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can. ** ''Northanger Abbey'' (1817) * Could they be perpetrated without being known, in a country like this, where social and literary intercourse is on such a footing, where every man is surrounded by a neighbourhood of voluntary spies, and where roads and newspapers lay everything open? ** ''Northanger Abbey'' (1817) * ...from politics, it was an easy step to silence. ** ''Northanger Abbey'' (1817) * It would be mortifying to the feelings of many ladies, could they be made to understand how little the heart of man is affected by what is costly or new in their attire. ** ''Northanger Abbey'' (1817) * A very short trial convinced her that a curricle was the prettiest equipage in the world ** ''Northanger Abbey'' (1817) *The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel must be intolerably stupid ** "Northanger Abbey" (1817) ====Lady Susan==== * What could I do! Facts are such horrid things! ** "Lady Susan", Letter XXXII (1871) {{Misattributed begin}} == Misattributed == * Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings. ** Said by Fanny Price in a 1999 adaptation of ''Mansfield Park''. Actual quote: *** Dinner was soon followed by tea and coffee, a ten miles' drive home allowed no waste of hours; and from the time of their sitting down to table, it was a quick succession of busy nothings till the carriage came to the door, and Mrs. Norris, having fidgeted about, and obtained a few pheasants' eggs and a cream cheese from the housekeeper, and made abundance of civil speeches to Mrs. Rushworth, was ready to lead the way. {{Misattributed end}} == Quotes about Jane Austen == * You could not shock her more than she shocks me;<br>Beside her [[James Joyce|Joyce]] seems innocent as grass.<br>It makes me most uncomfortable to see<br>An English spinster of the middle class<br>Describe the amorous effects of "brass,"<br>Reveal so frankly and with such sobriety<br>The economic basis of society. ** [[W. H. Auden]], ''Letter to Lord Byron'' (1936), lines 113–119 *As she grew up, the politics of the day occupied very little of her attention, but she probably shared the feeling of moderate [[w:Tory|Toryism]] which prevailed in her family. She was well acquainted with the old periodicals from the '[[w:The Spectator (1711)|Spectator]]' downwards. Her knowledge of [[Samuel Richardson|Richardson]]'s works was such as no one is likely again to acquire, now that the multitude and the merits of our light literature have called off the attention of readers from that great master. Every circumstance narrated in [[w:The History of Sir Charles Grandison|Sir Charles Grandison]], all that was ever said or done in the cedar parlour, was familiar to her; and the wedding days of Lady L. and Lady G. were as well remembered as if they had been living friends. Amongst her favourite writers, [[Samuel Johnson|Johnson]] in prose, [[George Crabbe|Crabbe]] in verse, and [[William Cowper|Cowper]] in both, stood high. **James Edward Austen-Leigh, ''[[w:A Memoir of Jane Austen|A Memoir of Jane Austen]]'' (1871; 2002 ed.), p. 71 *I now desire to offer a few observations on them [the novels], and especially on one point, on which my age renders me a competent witness—the fidelity with which they represent the opinions and manners of the class of society in which the author lived early in this century. They do this the more faithfully on account of the very deficiency with which they have been sometimes charged—namely, that they make no attempt to raise the standard of human life, but merely represent it as it was. They certainly were not written to support any theory or inculcate any particular moral, except indeed the great moral which is to be equally gathered from an observation of the course of actual life—namely, the superiority of high over low principles, and of greatness over littleness of mind. **James Edward Austen-Leigh, ''[[w:A Memoir of Jane Austen|A Memoir of Jane Austen]]'' (1871; 2002 ed.), p. 116 * Jane Austen? I feel that I am approaching dangerous ground. The reputation of Jane Austen is surrounded by cohorts of defenders who are ready to do murder for their sacred cause. They are nearly all fanatics. They will not listen. If anyone “went for” Jane, anything might happen to him. He would assuredly be called on to resign from his clubs...I do not even agree that Jane was a great novelist. She was a great little novelist. She is marvellous, intoxicating: she has unique wit, vast quantities of common sense, a most agreeable sense of proportion, much narrative skill. And she is always readable. But her world is a tiny world, and even of that tiny world she ignores, consciously or unconsciously, the fundamental factors. She did not know enough of the world to be a great novelist. She had not the ambition to be a great novelist. She knew her place; her present “fans” do not know her place, and their antics would without doubt have excited Jane's lethal irony. ** [[Arnold Bennett]] (1927) * Jane Austen … provides, at scores of points, a commentary that corrects any naive over-identification that we are tempted to commit. … Many readers have resisted that corrective. … Critics have often objected, for example, to the presence of a persistent voice that could allow itself, at what conventionally should have been the moment of supreme passion, to undermine the conventional effects with the famous (or infamous) narrative intrusion. … Some readers have considered such passages to be dodges, signs of Austen's own sexual inhibitions or lack of novelistic skill. … I suggest instead that they are signs of a novelist who knows her double task: how to abide by the demands of a conventional form, while making the whole thing work for matters ''un''conventional. ** [[w:Wayne C. Booth|Wayne C. Booth]], ''The Company We Keep: An Ethics of Fiction'' (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1988), pp. 433–434 * [M]ost of us, male and female, are as children compared with this one glorious human being. ** [[w:Wayne C. Booth|Wayne C. Booth]], ''The Company We Keep: An Ethics of Fiction'' (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1988), p. 434 * [T]he power of the realized conventional form, the delicious happiness Austen makes us feel, must surely be counteracted by a kind of inquiry that is as courageous and sensitive and resistant as Austen's reading of her own predecessors. She knew better than to pretend that powerful fictions are not dangerous. She thus would welcome, I like to think, the probing questions that feminist critics have been teaching us to ask. Her kind of critical spirit, applied … to her kind of works, will not leave those works unmodified. But to me it is reassuring to discover that most of the modifications, most of what we learn by asking the questions raised by feminist critics, leave Jane Austen looking perhaps even greater than she did before. ** [[w:Wayne C. Booth|Wayne C. Booth]], ''The Company We Keep: An Ethics of Fiction'' (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1988), p. 435 *In all her novels, though in varying degrees, Jane Austen regards the characters, good and bad alike, with ironical amusement, because they never see the situation as it really is and as she sees it. This is the deeper source of our unbroken pleasure in reading her. We constantly share her point of view, and are aware of the amusing difference between the fact and its appearance to the actors. If you fail to perceive and enjoy this, you are not really reading Jane Austen. Some readers do not perceive it, and therefore fail to appreciate her. Others perceive it without enjoying it, and they think her cynical. She is never cynical, and not often merely satirical. A cynic or a mere satirist may be intellectually pleased by human absurdities and illusions, but he does not feel them to be good. But to Jane Austen, so far as they are not seriously harmful, they are altogether pleasant, because they are both ridiculous and right. **[[w:A. C. Bradley|A. C. Bradley]], 'Jane Austen', ''Essays and Studies by Members of the English Association, Vol. II'' (1911), p. 19 * Why do you like Miss Austen so very much? I am puzzled on that point. … I read that sentence of yours, and then I got the book. And what did I find? An accurate daguerreotyped portrait of a commonplace (everyday) face; carefully fenced, highly cultivated garden, with neat borders and delicate flowers; but no glance of bright vivid physiognomy, no open country, no fresh air, no blue hill, no bonny beck. I should hardly like to live with her ladies and gentlemen, in their elegant but confined houses. ** [[Charlotte Brontë]], quote in ''Original Penguin Classics Introduction to Pride and Prejudice.'' by Tanner, Tony (1972). 80 Strand, London, WC2R, England: Penguin Books, Ltd. {{ISBN|0-141-43951-3}}. *The essence of her certainty is that the reforms she perceives to be necessary are within the attitudes of individuals; she calls for no general changes in the world of the established lesser [[w:Landed gentry|landed gentry]]. … Her distinctions between true gentlemanliness and the shell of it are keen, perhaps because—like Elizabeth Bennet—she has experienced social rebuffs at first hand. She is certainly no sycophant of wealth or rank, and she does not deal intimately with—or apparently much like—the great aristocracy. The class she deals with has local and not national importance: in eighteenth-century terms, she is a [[w:Tories (British political party)|Tory]] rather than a [[w:Whigs (British political party)|Whig]]. She believes that the gentleman—as her words "consequence" and "usefulness" imply—derives his personal dignity from the contributions he makes at the head of an organic, hierarchical, small community. It is for such a community, ideally perceived, that her novels speak... Jane Austen's novels belong decisively to one class of partisan novels, the [[Conservatism|conservative]]. Intellectually she is [[orthodox]]... Her important innovations are technical and stylistic modifications within a clearly defined and accepted genre. **[[w:Marilyn Butler|Marilyn Butler]], ''Jane Austen and the War of Ideas'' (1975), pp. 1-2 *The daughter and sister of clergymen of the [[w:Church of England|Established Church]], she began life in the conservative fold, and even as a teenager was the author of a satire on sensibility, ''Love and Friendship''. Two of her first completed novels, ''Sense and Sensibility'' and ''Northanger Abbey'' … display broadly the typical attitudes of the feminine type of conservative novel... The key issue on which virtue is distinguished from vice is the choice of a marriage-partner. The key virtues are prudence and concern for the evidence; the vices are romanticism, self-indulgence, conceit, and, for Jane Austen, other subtle variations upon the broad anti-[[w:Jacobin (politics)|jacobin]] target of [[individualism]]. … [T]hese last three novels reveal a sense of a hazard to the larger community which distinguishes them from the earlier group: the heroine's ethical choices no longer solely affect her private happiness in life, but are subtly interlinked with the stability and well-being of her society. In this too they reflect the broadening and deepening of range given to the conservative cause in the years 1797–8 by the critical turn in the [[w:French Revolutionary Wars|war]], and by the articulate leadership of ''[[w:Anti-Jacobin|The Anti-Jacobin]]''. Whatever their actual date of composition, they belong generically, like all Jane Austen's works, to a movement that defines itself by its opposition to [[revolution]]. **[[w:Marilyn Butler|Marilyn Butler]], ''Jane Austen and the War of Ideas'' (1975), pp. 122-123 *[I]n ''Northanger Abbey'' Jane Austen develops...her version of the revolutionary character, the man or woman who by acting on a system of selfishness, threatens friends of more orthodox principles; and ultimately, through cold-blooded cynicism in relation to the key social institution of marriage, threatens human happiness at a very fundamental level. Isabella Thorpe, Lady Susan, Mary Crawford, all like Isabella pursue the modern creed of self, and as such are Jane Austen's reinterpretation of a standard figure of the period, the desirable, amoral woman whose activities threaten manners and morals. … That Jane Austen is perfectly clear what she is doing can be demonstrated by identifying the same cluster of themes and characters in ''Sense and Sensibility''. Inheriting a set of conservative dogmas, and some impossibly theatrical characters—notably the revolutionary villain—already in her first two full-length novels she produces a more natural equivalent, on a scale appropriate to comedy. Her villains are not only better art than her rivals'; they are also better propaganda. … Her selfish characters are consistently smaller and meaner than their orthodox opponents, the heroines; they are restricted within the bounds of their own being, and their hearts and minds are impoverished. Jane Austen's achievement, the feat of the subtlest technician among the English novelists, is to rethink the material of the conservative novel in terms that are at once naturalistic and intellectually consistent. **[[w:Marilyn Butler|Marilyn Butler]], ''Jane Austen and the War of Ideas'' (1975), pp. 180-181 *Jane Austen has been criticized as trivial by the same enlightened race of critics as think her incapable of depicting passion. But such a criticism reveals a complete failure to grasp the convention within which her art is constructed. For aesthetic reasons she limits herself, as we have seen, to the mood of comedy and the world of the small gentry in England. But comedy can deal, and always has since the days of the Greeks, with themes as important and significant as those of tragedy: while the life of an English Squire's wife is as serious as the life of any one else: it can no more avoid the central problems that face mankind during its sojourn on this planet. The visible structure of Jane Austen's stories may be flimsy enough; but their foundations drive deep down into the basic principles of human conduct. On her bit of ivory she has engraved a criticism of life as serious and as considered as [[Thomas Hardy|Hardy]]'s. **[[Lord David Cecil]], 'Introduction', in Jane Austen, ''Sense and Sensibility'' (1931), p. xiii *[[Comedy]] was implicit in the manner in which she told her story. Her irony, her delicate ruthless irony, was of the substance of her style. It never obtruded itself; sometimes it only glinted out in a turn of phrase. But it was never absent for more than a paragraph; and her most straightforward piece of exposition was tart with its perfume. **[[Lord David Cecil]], The Leslie Stephen Lecture at the University of Cambridge (1 May 1935), quoted in ''The Times'' (2 May 1935), p. 11 *Jane Austen influenced me very much in a general way. I read her early with great pleasure and often since, and I think it's the, it's the tone is what I've liked about her, very cool, amused, but not ill-tempered tone. What I liked so very much about her is that she's quite ruthless in pointing out weaknesses and making fun, but she never seems in a bad temper, wishing to do down the characters, and I find this very agreeable – this sort of ruthless, good tempered, just, humorous outlook. I also like the mixture of her rather tough, robust judgement combined with a silvery, elegant refinement of manner. I think this contrast between the delicacy of the manner and the robustness of the judgement is very sympathetic to me. **[[Lord David Cecil]], interview with Patrick Garland for the BBC documentary ''Conversations at Cranborne'' (1970), quoted in Tristram Powell, 'A Television Interview', in ''David Cecil: A Portrait by his Friends'' (1990), p. 164 *[A]s her would-be biographer, I had to face the fact that information about Jane Austen the woman was limited and fragmentary. She remains for me – as no doubt she would have wished – not an intimate but an acquaintance. **[[Lord David Cecil]], ''A Portrait of Jane Austen'' (1978), p. 10 *Miss Austen's language deserves closer attention than it has received. She is not indeed one of the great writers of English prose of the early nineteenth century; but she is one of the greatest, because one of the most accurate, writers of dialogue of her own or any age; and of the writers of her period who furnish good and abundant specimens of polite conversation, she is to-day by far the most popular. **[[w:Robert William Chapman|Robert William Chapman]], 'Appendixes: Miss Auten's English', ''The Novels of Jane Austen: The Text based on Collation of the Early Editions, Volume I'' (1923), p. 389 * Jane Austen was born before those bonds which (we are told) protected women from truth, were burst by the [[w:Brontë family|Brontës]] or elaborately untied by [[George Eliot]]. Yet the fact remains that Jane Austen knew more about men than either of them. Jane Austen may have been protected from truth: but it was precious little of truth that was protected from her. ** [[G. K. Chesterton]], ''The Victorian Age in Literature'' (1913) * She knew what she knew, like a sound dogmatist: she did not know what she did not — like a sound agnostic. ** [[G. K. Chesterton]], ''The Victorian Age in Literature'' (1913) [University of Notre Dame Press, 1963], Ch. II: The Great Victorian Novelists (p. 53) *This is something more than the discovery of a document; it is the discovery of an inspiration. And that inspiration was the inspiration of [[w:Gargantua and Pantagruel|Gargantua]] and of [[The Pickwick Papers|Pickwick]]; it was the gigantic inspiration of laughter. **[[G. K. Chesterton]], 'Preface' to Jane Austen, ''Love & Freindship and Other Early Works'' (1922), p. xiv * I am at a loss to understand why people hold Miss Austen's novels at so high a rate, which seem to me vulgar in tone, sterile in invention, imprisoned in the wretched conventions of English society, without genius, wit, or knowledge of the world. Never was life so pinched & narrow. The one problem in the mind of the writer in both the stories I have read, "Persuasion," and "Pride & Prejudice," is marriageableness. All that interests in any character introduced is still this one, Has he or she money to marry with, & conditions conforming? 'Tis "the nympholepsy of a fond despair," say rather, of an English boarding-house. Suicide is more respectable. **[[Ralph Waldo Emerson]], ''Emerson: Selected Journals 1841–1877'', edited by Lawrence Rosenwald (2010), The Library of America, p. 768 *I read ''Madame Bovary'' and Jane Austen and [[George Eliot]] over and over. **1993 interview in ''Conversations with [[Louise Erdrich]] and [[Michael Dorris]]'' edited by Allan Chavkin and Nancy Feyl Chavkin (1994) * Why do the characters in Jane Austen give us a slightly new pleasure each time they come in, as opposed to the merely repetitive pleasure that is caused by a character in Dickens? Why do they combine so well in a conversation, and draw one another out, without seeming to do so, and never perform? The answer to this question can be put in several ways; that, unlike Dickens, she was a real artist, that she never stooped to caricature, etc. But the best reply is that her characters, though smaller than his, are more highly organized. They function all round, and even if her plot made greater demands on them than it does, they would still be adequate. ** [[E. M. Forster]], ''Aspects of The Novel'' (1927) *Perhaps my favorite English novelist is Jane Austen. **[[Natalia Ginzburg]] [https://salmagundi.skidmore.edu/articles/29-an-interview-with-natalia-ginzburg Interview] (1992) * I have been reading Miss Austen's Emma, which I had entirely forgotten, with the greatest enjoyment. I think it an admirable book, & I dare say you will agree with me. Miss Austen is an inimitable painter of quiet life. It would be difficult to say where the interest of Emma lies, yet it does interest strongly. There is no fine writing; no laboured description; no imaginative or ideal touches; no working on the feelings. Its magic must be its truth. It is exquisitely true. Life is presented to us, not as it may be taken in rare situations, in picturesque emergencies, but as we see it everyday. Common, workday life, with here & there a suit of best for Sundays. Yet there is nothing trivial. It is what Alfred calls in one of his unfinished poems "most ideal unideal, most uncommon commonplace." Dignity in the sentiments, dignity in the style. Quite a woman's book — (don't frown, Miss Fytche — I mean it for compliment) — none but a woman & a lady could possess that tact of minute observation, & that delicacy of sarcasm. ** [[w:Arthur Hallam|Arthur Henry Hallam]], letter to fiancé Emily (Emilia) Tennyson (1833-01-25), ''Jane Austen and her Readers, 1786-1945'', by Katie Halsey (Anthem Nineteenth-Century Series) *Don't forget books. What would life be without them? [[Emily Brontë]], [[Edgar Allan Poe]], [[F. Scott Fitzgerald]], [[Toni Morrison]], Jane Austen, [[William Faulkner]]. Read the greats-they're great for a reason. They know how to chart the human soul. (p 32) **[[Alice Hoffman]] ''Survival Lessons'' (2013) * Which brings us again, after this long way about, to Jane Austen and her novels, and that troublesome question about them. She was great and they were beautiful, because she and they were honest, and dealt with nature nearly a hundred years ago as realism deals with it to-day. Realism is nothing more and nothing less than the truthful treatment of material, and Jane Austen was the first and the last of the English novelists to treat material with entire truthfulness. Because she did this, she remains the most artistic of the English novelists, and alone worthy to be matched with the great Scandinavian and Slavic and Latin artists. ** [[William Dean Howells]], ''Criticism and Fiction'' (1891), Chapter 15 *I read ''Pride and Prejudice'' when I was about 8 or 9. It was the first adult novel I read and it opened my imagination to the immense possibilities of the world of fiction and, young though I was, produced an immediate response to Jane Austen that has remained as strong today as it was 85 years ago and, I believe, helped to make me a writer. **[[P. D. James]], quoted in 'Sex, Mao, motorcycles – the books', ''The Times Saturday Review'' (29 September 2012), p. 10 *[T]he attempt to recruit Jane Austen into one of the armies in an ideological war is mistaken... It is indeed useful to compare her to her contemporaries...to confirm her originality and independence, and appreciate how distinctively absent ideology is from her fiction. She ranks not among those novelists like [[Leo Tolstoy|Tolstoy]] and [[George Eliot]] who are in some sense teachers or preachers, but among those like [[Henry James|James]] and [[Marcel Proust|Proust]], for whom the depiction and analysis of human beings in thought and action are enough. Or in different terms, she is of the school of [[Sophocles]] and [[William Shakespeare|Shakespeare]], not that of [[Dante Alighieri|Dante]] and [[John Milton|Milton]]. **[[w:Richard Jenkyns (professor)|Richard Jenkyns]], ''A Fine Brush on Ivory: An Appreciation of Jane Austen'' (2004), p. 184 * Jane lies in Winchester — blessed be her shade!<br>Praise the Lord for making her, and her for all she made!<br>And while the stones of Winchester, or Milsom Street, remain,<br>Glory, love, and honour unto England's Jane! ** [[Rudyard Kipling]], Epigraph to 'The Janeites' (1924) *(“What do you owe Jane Austen?”) Endless pleasure. Years and years of delight. (“What did you learn from Jane Austen?”) A great deal about life. (“For example?”) I can't give you an example. You don't get fortune cookie maxims from a great novelist. You learn what life is like and what people are like. **1988 interview in ''Conversations with [[Ursula Le Guin]]'' (2008) *(“[[Samuel R. Delany|Chip Delany]] says that science fiction is as much a way of "reading" as it is a way of writing, and learn that. What is it that we have to learn?”) That's true for realism, too. You have to learn how to read Jane Austen. We have to learn how to read realistic fiction. A lot of people never do. Some of them, our fantasy readers, don't know how to read [[William Makepeace Thackeray|Thackeray]], or any novels. They don't know what to expect, they don't know what the rewards are supposed to be. **1994 interview in ''Conversations with [[Ursula Le Guin]]'' (2008) * The delight derived from her pictures arises from our sympathy with ordinary characters, our relish of humor, and our intellectual pleasure in art for art's sake. But when it is admitted that she never stirs the deeper emotions, that she never fills the soul with a noble aspiration, or brightens it with a fine idea, but, at the utmost, only teaches us charity for the ordinary failings of ordinary people, and sympathy with their goodness, we have admitted an objection which lowers her claims to rank among the great benefactors of the race; and this sufficiently explains why, with all her excellence, her name has not become a household word. Her fame, we think, must endure. Such art as hers can never grow old, never be superseded. But, after all, miniatures are not frescoes, and her works are miniatures. Her place is among the Immortals; but the pedestal is erected in a quiet niche of the great temple. ** [[George Henry Lewes]], ''The Novels of Jane Austen'' (1859) *[[William Shakespeare|Shakespeare]] has had neither equal nor second. But among the writers who, in the point which we have noticed, have approached nearest to the manner of the great master, we have no hesitation in placing Jane Austen, a woman of whom England is justly proud. She has given us a multitude of characters, all, in a certain sense, commonplace, all such as we meet every day. Yet they are all as perfectly discriminated from each other as if they were the most eccentric of human beings... And almost all this is done by touches so delicate that they elude analysis, that they defy the powers of description, and that we know them to exist only by the general effect to which they have contributed. **[[Thomas Babington Macaulay, 1st Baron Macaulay|Thomas Macaulay]], 'Madame D'Arblay', ''Edinburgh Review'' (January 1843), reprinted in ''Critical and Miscellaneous Essays, Volume 5'' (1844), p. 68 *Something recalled to his mind the traits of character which are so delicately touched in Miss Austen's novels. "There was genius in the sketching out that new kind of novel." He was vexed for the credit of the ''[[w:Edinburgh Review|Edinburgh Review]]'', that it had left unnoticed; the ''[[w:Quarterly Review|Quarterly]]'' had done her more justice. It was impossible for a foreigner to understand fully the merit of her works. [[Germaine de Staël|Madame de Staël]], to whom he had recommended of her novels, found no interest in it, and, in her note to him in reply, said it was "''vulgaire"'', and yet he said nothing could be more true than what he wrote in answer,—"''there is no book which that word would suit so little''." "Every village could furnish matter for a novel to Miss Austen. She did not need the common materials for a novel—strong passion, or strong incident." **[[James Mackintosh]], quoted in ''Memoirs of the Life of Sir James Mackintosh, Vol. II'', ed. Robert James Mackintosh (1836 ed.), p. 472 * When I was young, it was not thought proper for young ladies to study very conspicuously; and especially with pen in hand. Young ladies (at least in provincial towns) were expected to sit down in the parlour to sew,—during which reading aloud was permitted,—or to practice their music; but so as to be fit to receive callers, without any signs of blue‐stockingism which could be reported abroad. Jane Austen herself, the Queen of novelists, the immortal creator of Anne Elliott, Mr. Knightly, and a score or two more of unrivalled intimate friends of the whole public, was compelled by the feelings of her family to cover up her manuscripts with a large piece of muslin work, kept on the table for the purpose, whenever any genteel people came in. So it was with other young ladies, for some time after Jane Austen was in her grave; and thus my first studies in philosophy were carried on with great care and reserve. ** [[Harriet Martineau]], ''Harriet Martineau's Autobiography, vol. 1'' [1855] *In her there are united, in rare combination, a sense of disillusionment and gaiety of temperament—it is the perception of the comic once more which reconciles the two. **Katherine Marion Metcalfe, 'Introduction', in Jane Austen, ''Pride and Prejudice'' (1912), p. xiii *A rational wisdom, exceptional intellect, unique in wit, found herself in circumstances which were always meagre, and at times irrational; and endowed with fastidiousness on the one hand and enjoyment on the other, she employed her experience creatively in the service of Comedy. The novels are a vent. **Katherine Marion Metcalfe, 'Introduction', in Jane Austen, ''Pride and Prejudice'' (1912), p. xv * The want of elegance is almost the only want in Miss Austen. I have not read her ‘Mansfield Park;’ but it is impossible not to feel in every line of ‘Pride and Prejudice,’ in every word of ‘Elizabeth,’ the entire want of taste which could produce so pert, so worldly a heroine as the beloved of such a man as Darcy. Wickham is equally bad. Oh! they were just fit for each other, and I cannot forgive that delightful Darcy for parting them. Darcy should have married Jane. He is of all the admirable characters the best designed and the best sustained. I quite agree with you in preferring Miss Austen to Miss Edgeworth. If the former had a little more taste, a little more perception of the graceful, as well as of the humorous, I know not indeed any one to whom I should not prefer her. There is not of the hardness, the cold selfishness, of Miss Edgeworth about her writings; she is in a much better humour with the world; she preaches no sermons; she wants nothing but the beau-idéal of the female character to be a perfect novel writer; and perhaps even that beau-idéal would only be missed by such a petite maîtresse in books as myself. ** [[w:Mary Russell Mitford|Mary Russell Mitford]], letter to Sir William Elford, 1st Baronet (1814-12-20), ''The Life of Mary Russell Mitford, vol. 1'' (1870) * I have discovered that our great favourite, Miss Austen, is my countrywoman; that mamma knew all her family very intimately; and that she herself is an old maid (I beg her pardon – I mean a young lady) with whom mamma before her marriage was acquainted. Mamma says that she was then the prettiest, silliest, most affected, husband-hunting butterfly she ever remembers; and a friend of mine, who visits her now, says that she has stiffened into the most perpendicular, precise, taciturn piece of “single blessedness” that ever existed, and that, till ‘Pride and Prejudice’ showed what a precious gem was hidden in that unbending case, she was no more regarded in society than a poker or a fire-screen, or any other thin upright piece of wood or iron that fills its corner in peace and quietness. The case is very different now; she is still a poker – but a poker of whom every one is afraid. It must be confessed that this silent observation from such an observer is rather formidable. Most writers are good-humoured chatterers – neither very wise nor very witty: – but nine times out of ten (at least in the few that I have known) unaffected and pleasant, and quite removing by their conversation any awe that may have been excited by their works. But a wit, a delineator of character, who does not talk, is terrific indeed! ** [[w:Mary Russell Mitford|Mary Russell Mitford]], letter to Sir William Elford, 1st Baronet (1815-04-03), ''The Life of Mary Russell Mitford, vol. 1'' (1870) * Her exquisite story of 'Persuasion' absolutely haunted me. Whenever it rained (and it did rain every day that I stayed in Bath, except one), I thought of Anne Elliott meeting Captain Wentworth, when driven by a shower to take refuge in a shoe-shop. Whenever I got out of breath in climbing up-hill (which, considering that one dear friend lived in Lansdown Crescent, and another on Beechen Cliff, happened also pretty often), I thought of that same charming Anne Elliott, and of that ascent from the lower town to the upper, during which all her tribulations ceased. And when at last, by dint of trotting up one street and down another, I incurred the unromantic calamity of a blister on the heel, even that grievance became classical by the recollection of the similar catastrophe, which, in consequence of her peregrinations with the Admiral, had befallen dear Mrs. Croft. I doubt if any one, even Scott himself, have left such perfect impressions of character and place as Jane Austen. ** [[w:Mary Russell Mitford|Mary Russell Mitford]], ''Recollections of a Literary Life, or Books, Places and People, vol. 2'' (1852) *the sharply stitched phrases of Jane Austen **[[Aurora Levins Morales]] ''Medicine Stories: Essays for Radicals'' (2019 edition) * In fact, though she lacked the {{w|Classical education in the Western world|classical education}} bestowed, as of right, on her brothers, and claimed brightly to know nothing of 'science and philosophy', Jane Austen was better informed, and far better read, than most women of her day, having good French and some Italian, a love of history, considerable skill in both [[music]] and {{w|drawing}}, and an extensive, intelligent knowledge of some of the greatest writers in the English language, from [[Samuel Johnson|Johnson]], [[Samuel Richardson|Richardson]] and [[Henry Fielding|Fielding]], to [[Oliver Goldsmith|Goldsmith]], [[David Hume|Hume]] and [[George Crabbe|Crabbe]]. ** Josephine Ross, {{cite book|title=Jane Austen: A Companion|publisher=Rutgers University Press|year=2003|isbn=081353299X|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=1nUfCMaLspcC&pg=PA9|page=9}} (1st edition, {{w|John Murray (publishing house)|John Murray}}, 2002) * Every housemaid expects at least once a week as much excitement as would have lasted a Jane Austen heroine throughout a whole novel. ** [[Bertrand Russell]], in ''[[The Conquest of Happiness]]'' (1930), Ch. 4: Boredom and excitement * Also read again and for the third time at least Miss Austen's very finely written novel of Pride and Prejudice. That young lady had a talent for describing the involvement and feelings and characters of ordinary life which is to me the most wonderful I ever met with. The Big Bow-wow strain I can do myself like any now going, but the exquisite touch which renders ordinary commonplace things and characters interesting from the truth of the description and the sentiment is denied to me. What a pity such a gifted creature died so early! ** [[Walter Scott]], "Walter Scott, an unsigned review of Emma, Quarterly Review". Jane Austen: The Critical Heritage, 1812–1870. Ed. B. C. Southam. London: Routledge and Kegan Paul, 1968. {{ISBN|071002942X}}. 58–69 *You mention Miss Austen; her novels are more true to nature, and have (for my sympathies) passages of finer feeling than any others of this age. She was a person of whom I have heard so well, and think so highly, that I regret not having seen her, nor ever having had an opportunity of testifying to her the respect which I felt for her. **[[Robert Southey]] to [[w:Egerton Brydges|Sir Egerton Brydges]] (8 April 1830), quoted in ''The Autobiography, Times, Opinions, and Contemporaries of Sir Egerton Brydges, Vol. II'' (1834), p. 269 * Miss Austen was surely a great novelist. What she did, she did perfectly. Her work, as far as it goes, is faultless. She wrote of the times in which she lived, of the class of people with which she associated, and in the language which was usual to her as an educated lady. Of romance, -- what we generally mean when we speak of romance -- she had no tinge. Heroes and heroines with wonderful adventures there are none in her novels. Of great criminals and hidden crimes she tells us nothing. But she places us in a circle of gentlemen and ladies, and charms us while she tells us with an unconscious accuracy how men should act to women, and women act to men. It is not that her people are all good; -- and, certainly, they are not all wise. The faults of some are the anvils on which the virtues of others are hammered till they are bright as steel. In the comedy of folly I know no novelist who has beaten her. The letters of Mr. Collins, a clergyman in Pride and Prejudice, would move laughter in a low-church archbishop. ** [[Anthony Trollope]], ''Lecture'' (1870) * Jane Austen's books, too, are absent from this library. Just that one omission alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it. ** [[Mark Twain]], ''Following the Equator'' (1897) * To me his (Edgar Allan Poe's) prose is unreadable — like Jane Austin's [sic]. No there is a difference. I could read his prose on salary, but not Jane's. Jane is entirely impossible. It seems a great pity that they allowed her to die a natural death. ** [[Mark Twain]], letter to [[William Dean Howells]] (1909-01-18) * I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read ''Pride and Prejudice'' I want to dig her up and hit her over the skull with her own shin-bone. ** [[Mark Twain]], Letter, 13 September 1898, in A.B. Paine, ''Mark Twain: A Biography'' (1912) *I don't see how anyone could have a greater scope in knowledge of human nature and reveal more of human nature than Jane Austen. **1972 interview included in ''Conversations with [[Eudora Welty]]'' Edited by Peggy Whitman Prenshaw (1993) *Miss Austin has the merit (in our judgment most essential) of being evidently a Christian writer: a merit which is much enhanced, both on the score of good taste, and of practical utility, by her religion being not at all obtrusive. She might defy the most fastidious critic to call any of her novels, (as [[w:Coelebs in Search of a Wife|Coelebs]] was designated, we will not say altogether without reason,) a "dramatic sermon." The subject is rather alluded to, and that incidentally, than studiously brought forward and dwelt upon. **[[Richard Whately]], 'Modern Novels', ''The Quarterly Review'' (January 1821), p. 359 * Most works in realism tell a succession of such abject truths; they are deeply in earnest, every detail is true, and yet the whole finally tumbles to the ground — true but without significance. How did Jane Austen save her novels from that danger? They appear to be compact of abject truth. Their events are excruciatingly unimportant; and yet, with R. Crusoe, they will probably outlast all Fielding, Scott, George Elliot, Thackeray, and Dickens. The art is so consummate that the secret is hidden; peer at them as hard as one may; shake them; take them apart; one cannot see how it is done. ** [[Thornton Wilder]], ''A preface for Our Town'' (1938) * Whatever 'Bloomsbury' may think of Jane Austen, she is not by any means one of my favourites. I'd give all she ever wrote for half what the [[w:Brontë family|Brontës]] wrote -- if my reason did not compel me to see that she is a magnificent artist. What I shall proceed to find out, from her letters, when I've time, is why she failed to be much better than she was. Something to do with sex, I expect; the letters are full of hints already that she suppressed half of her in her novels. ** [[Virginia Woolf]], Letter to Ethel Smythe, 20 November 1932, in David Dowling, ''Novelists on Novelists'' (1983) * Charlotte Brontë, with all her splendid gift for prose, stumbled and fell with that clumsy weapon in her hands. George Eliot committed atrocities with it that beggar description. Jane Austen looked at it and laughed at it and devised a perfectly natural, shapely sentence proper for her own use and never departed from it. Thus, with less genius for writing than Charlotte Brontë, she got infinitely more said. ** [[Virginia Woolf]], ''A Room of One's Own'' (1929), Chapter 4 * Jane Austen is thus a mistress of much deeper emotion than appears upon the surface. She stimulates us to supply what is not there. What she offers is, apparently, a trifle, yet is composed of something that expands in the reader's mind and endows with the most enduring form of life scenes which are outwardly trivial. Always the stress is laid upon character. How, we are made to wonder, will Emma behave when Lord Osborne and Tom Musgrave make their call at five minutes before three, just as Mary is bringing in the tray and the knife-case? It is an extremely awkward situation. The young men are accustomed to much greater refinement. Emma may prove herself ill-bred, vulgar, a nonentity. The turns and twists of the dialogue keep us on the tenterhooks of suspense. Our attention is half upon the present moment, half upon the future. And when, in the end, Emma behaves in such a way as to vindicate our highest hopes of her, we are moved as if we had been made witnesses of a matter of the highest importance. Here, indeed, in this unfinished and in the main inferior story, are all the elements of Jane Austen's greatness. It has the permanent quality of literature. Think away the surface animation, the likeness to life, and there remains, to provide a deeper pleasure, an exquisite discrimination of human values. ** [[Virginia Woolf]], ''The Common Reader'' (1925) ==External links== {{wikipedia}} {{Wikisource author}} * {{gutenberg author | id=Austen,_Jane | name=Jane Austen}} * [http://www.janeaustenmuseum.org.uk/ The Jane Austen Museum] * [http://books.guardian.co.uk/authors/author/0,5917,-12,00.html ''Guardian'' Books "Author Page"], with profile and links to further articles. * [http://www.pemberley.com The Republic of Pemberley], the largest Jane Austen site on the web. ** [http://www.pemberley.com/janeinfo/janeinfo.html Jane Austen Information Page] ** [http://www.pemberley.com/janeinfo/brablets.html Letters of Jane Austen] ** [http://www.pemberley.com/filmography/filmography.html Filmography of Jane Austen Adaptations] * [http://www.hants.gov.uk/austen Hampshire, home of Jane Austen] * [http://www.jasna.org The Jane Austen Society of North America] * [http://www.shmoop.com/jane-austen/quotes.html Jane Austen quotes] and biography {{DEFAULTSORT:Austen, Jane}} [[Category:1775 births]] [[Category:1817 deaths]] [[Category:Jane Austen]] [[Category:Novelists from England]] [[Category:Anglicans from the United Kingdom]] [[Category:Women authors from England]] [[Category:Women born before the 19th century]] [[Category:People from Hampshire]] airpkedvwzi0dafscz5t0vw1xmstj4m 0 657 3942050 3459842 2026-05-17T12:54:34Z ~2026-29645-01 3323504 3942050 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Hilbert.jpg|thumb|We [[must]] [[know]]. We will know.]] '''[[w:David Hilbert|David Hilbert]]''' ([[January 23]], [[1862]] – [[February 14]], [[1943]]) was a German logician, mathematician, and mathematical physicist. He is recognized as one of thgy nfluential and universal mathematicians of the 19th and early 20th centuries. Hilbert discovered and developed a broad range of fundamental ideas in many areas, including invariant theory and the axiomatization of geometry, as well as the theory of [[w:Hilbert spaces|Hilbert spaces]], one of the foundations of [[w:functional analysis|functional analysis]]. Hilbert and his students also supplied much of the mathematics needed for quantum mechanics and general relativity. == Quotes == [[File:Cantors_cube.jpg|right|thumb|No one shall expel us from the [[Paradise]] that [[Georg Cantor|Cantor]] has created.]] [[File:Hilbert3d-step4.png|right|thumb|We must not [[believe]] those, who today, with [[philosophical]] bearing and deliberative tone, [[prophesy]] the fall of [[culture]] and accept the ''[[wikipedia:Ignoramus et ignorabimus|ignorabimus]]''.]] [[File:3D_Cantor_set.jpg|right|thumb|One of the supreme achievements of purely [[intellectual]] [[human]] activity.]] * '''Every kind of [[science]], if it has only reached a certain degree of maturity, automatically becomes a part of [[mathematics]].''' ** "Axiomatic Thought" (1918), printed in ''From Kant to Hilbert'', Vol. 2 by William Bragg Ewald * ''Aus dem Paradies, das Cantor uns geschaffen, soll uns niemand vertreiben können.'' ** '''No one shall expel us from the [[paradise]] that [[Georg Cantor|Cantor]] has created.''' *** "Über das Unendliche" [On the Infinite] in ''Mathematische Annalen'' 95, (1926) * ''Wir dürfen nicht denen glauben, die heute mit philosophischer Miene und überlegenem Tone den Kulturuntergang prophezeien und sich in dem Ignorabimus gefallen. Für uns gibt es kein Ignorabimus, und meiner Meinung nach auch für die Naturwissenschaft überhaupt nicht. Statt des törichten Ignorabimus heiße im Gegenteil unsere Losung:'' :: '''''Wir müssen wissen — wir werden wissen!''''' :* We must not believe those, who today, with philosophical bearing and deliberative tone, prophesy the fall of culture and accept the ''[[wikipedia:Ignoramus et ignorabimus|ignorabimus]]''. For us there is no ''ignorabimus'', and in my opinion none whatever in natural science. In opposition to the foolish ''ignorabimus'' our slogan shall be: :: '''We must know — we will know!''' ::* Address to the Society of German Scientists and Physicians, in Königsberg (8 September 1930). The concluding statement was used as the epitaph on his tomb in Göttingen. [http://math.sfsu.edu/smith/Documents/HilbertRadio/HilbertRadio.mp3 Radio broadcast of the address], and [http://math.sfsu.edu/smith/Documents/HilbertRadio/HilbertRadio.pdf transcription and English translation]. * '''The art of doing mathematics consists in finding that special case which contains all the germs of generality.''' ** Quoted in [[wikipedia:Constance Reid|Constance Reid]], "Hilbert" (1970) * '''One can measure the importance of a scientific work by the number of earlier publications rendered superfluous by it.''' ** Quoted in ''Mathematical Circles Revisited'' (1971) by Howard Whitley Eves * Mathematics knows no races or geographic boundaries; for mathematics, the cultural world is one country. ** Quoted in ''Mathematical Circles Revisited'' (1971) by Howard Whitley Eves * '''"Mathematics is a presuppositionless science.''' To found it I do not need God, as does Kronecker, or the assumption of a special faculty of our understanding attuned to the principle of mathematical induction, as does Poincaré, or the primal intuition of Brouwer, or, finally, as do Russell and Whitehead, axioms of infinity, reducibility, or completeness, which in fact are actual, contentual assumptions that cannot be compensated for by consistency proofs. ** Quoted in Hilbert's ''Die Grundlagen der Mathematik'' (1927) * If one were to bring ten of the wisest men in the world together and ask them what was the most stupid thing in existence, they would not be able to discover anything so stupid as astrology. ** Quoted in ''Comic Sections'' (1993) by Desmond MacHale * If I were to awaken after having slept for a thousand years, my first question would be: Has the [[wikipedia:Riemann hypothesis|Riemann hypothesis]] been proven? ** Quoted in ''Mathematical Mysteries : The Beauty and Magic of Numbers'' (1999) by Calvin C. Clawson, p. 258 * One of the supreme achievements of purely intellectual human activity. ** On the [[wikipedia:Cantor set|Cantor set]], as quoted in ''A World Without Time : The Forgotten Legacy of Godel and Einstein'' (2005) by Palle Yourgrau, p. 44 * But he ([[Galileo Galilei|Galileo]]) was not an idiot,... '''Only an idiot could believe that scientific truth needs martyrdom''' — that may be necessary in religion, but scientific results prove themselves in time. ** Hilbert (2nd edition, 1996) by Constance Reid, p. 92 * Sometimes it happens that a man's circle of horizon becomes smaller and smaller, and as the radius approaches zero it concentrates on one point. And then that becomes his point of view. ** Hilbert-Courant (1984) by Constance Reid, p. 174 * Keep computations to the lowest level of the multiplication table. ** Hilbert-Courant (1984) by Constance Reid, p. 104 * ''Immer mit den einfachsten Beispielen anfangen.'' ** Begin with the simplest examples. *** Hilbert-Courant (1984) by Constance Reid, p. 104; German version quoted in ''Algebra'' by Michael Artin * I do not see that the sex of the candidate is an argument against her admission as a Privatdozent. After all, the Senate is not a bath-house. ** Hilbert-Courant (1984) by Constance Reid, p. 143 * Good, he did not have enough imagination to become a mathematician. ** Upon hearing that one of his students had dropped out to study poetry, as quoted in [http://books.google.com/?id=nnpChqstvg0C&pg=PA151 ''The Universal Book of Mathematics'' (2004) by David J. Darling, p. 151 <!-- publisher=[[John Wiley and Sons]]|isbn=978-0-471-27047-8 --> === Mathematical Problems (1900) === : <small>[http://aleph0.clarku.edu/~djoyce/hilbert/problems.html "Mathematical Problems" an address to the International Congress of Mathematicians at Paris (1900), translated by Maby Winton Newson for the ''Bulletin of the American Mathematical Society'' 8 (1902)]</small> * '''History teaches the continuity of the development of science. We know that every age has its own problems, which the following age either solves or casts aside as profitless and replaces by new ones.''' If we would obtain an idea of the probable development of mathematical knowledge in the immediate future, we must let the unsettled questions pass before our minds and look over the problems which the science of today sets and whose solution we expect from the future. To such a review of problems the present day, lying at the meeting of the centuries, seems to me well adapted. For the close of a great epoch not only invites us to look back into the past but also directs our thoughts to the unknown future. * '''A mathematical problem should be difficult in order to entice us, yet not completely inaccessible, lest it mock at our efforts.''' It should be to us a guide post on the mazy paths to hidden truths, and ultimately a reminder of our pleasure in the successful solution. * It remains to discuss briefly what general requirements may be justly laid down for the solution of a mathematical problem. I should say first of all, this: that it shall be possible to establish the correctness of the solution by means of a finite number of steps based upon a finite number of hypotheses which are implied in the statement of the problem and which must always be exactly formulated. This requirement of logical deduction by means of a finite number of processes is simply the requirement of rigor in reasoning. * '''To new concepts correspond, necessarily, new signs.''' These we choose in such a way that they remind us of the phenomena which were the occasion for the formation of the new concepts. * If we do not succeed in solving a mathematical problem, the reason frequently consists in our failure to recognize the more general standpoint from which the problem before us appears only as a single link in a chain of related problems. After finding this standpoint, not only is this problem frequently more accessible to our investigation, but at the same time we come into possession of a method which is applicable also to related problems. * This conviction of the solvability of every mathematical problem is a powerful incentive to the worker. We hear within us the perpetual call: There is the problem. Seek its solution. You can find it by pure reason, for in mathematics there is no ignorabimus. * '''Mathematical science is in my opinion an indivisible whole, an organism whose vitality is conditioned upon the connection of its parts.''' For with all the variety of mathematical knowledge, we are still clearly conscious of the similarity of the logical devices, the relationship of the ideas in mathematics as a whole and the numerous analogies in its different departments. We also notice that, the farther a mathematical theory is developed, the more harmoniously and uniformly does its construction proceed, and unsuspected relations are disclosed between hitherto separate branches of the science. So it happens that, '''with the extension of mathematics, its organic character is not lost but only manifests itself the more clearly'''. * The organic unity of mathematics is inherent in the nature of this science, for '''mathematics is the foundation of all exact knowledge of natural phenomena.''' That it may completely fulfil this high mission, may the new century bring it gifted masters and many zealous and enthusiastic disciples! * An old French mathematician said: '''A mathematical theory is not to be considered complete until you have made it so clear that you can explain it to the first man whom you meet on the street.''' This clearness and ease of comprehension, here insisted on for a mathematical theory, I should still more demand for a mathematical problem if it is to be perfect; for what is clear and easily comprehended attracts, the complicated repels us. ** Eine mathematische Theorie ist nicht eher als vollkommen anzusehen, als bis du sie so klar gemacht hast, daß du sie dem ersten Manne erklären könntest, den du auf der Straße triffst. === ''{{w|Geometry and the Imagination}}'' (1952) === : <small>English translation, by {{w|Paul Nemenyi}}, of the 1932 book, ''Anschauliche Geometrie'' by David Hilbert and {{w|Stephan Cohn-Vossen}}, based on a series of lectures Hilbert made in the winter of 1920–21</small> * In mathematics, as in any scientific research, we find two tendencies... [T]he tendency toward ''abstraction'' seeks to crystallize the ''logical'' relations inherent in the maze of material in a systematic and orderly manner. On the other hand, the tendency toward ''intuitive understanding'' fosters a more immediate grasp of the objects... a live ''rapport'' with them... which stresses the concrete meaning of their relations. ...''[I]ntuitive'' understanding plays a major role in geometry. ...[S]uch concrete intuition is of great value not only for the research worker, but... for anyone who wishes to study and appreciate the results of research in geometry. ** Preface * [O]ur purpose is to give a presentation of geometry... in its visual, intuitive aspects. With the aid of visual imagination we can illuminate the manifold facts and problems... beyond this, it is possible... to depict the geometric outline of the methods of investigation and proof, without... entering into the details... In this manner, geometry being as many-faceted as it is and being related to the most diverse branches of mathematics, we may even obtain a summarizing survey of mathematics as a whole, and a valid idea of the variety of problems and the wealth of ideas it contains. Thus a presentation of geometry in large brushstrokes... and based on the approach through visual intuition, should contribute to a more just appreciation of mathematics by a wider range of people than just the specialists. ** Preface * [M]athematics is not a popular subject... The reason for this is to be found in the common superstition that [it] is but a continuation... of the fine art of arithmetic, of juggling with numbers. [We] combat that superstition, by offering, instead of formulas, figures that may be looked at and that may easily be supplemented by models which the reader may construct. This book... bring[s] about a greater enjoyment of mathematics, by making it easier... to penetrate the essence of mathematics without... a laborious course of studies. ** Preface * The various branches of geometry are all interrelated closely and quite often unexpectedly. This shows up in many places in the book. Even so... it was necessary to make each chapter...self-contained... We hope that... we have rendered each chapter taken by itself... understandable and interesting. We want to take the reader on a leisurely walk... in the big garden that is geometry, so that each may pick for himself a bouquet to his liking. ** Preface {{disputed begin}} == Disputed == * Physics is too difficult for physicists! ** This quote has many variants. An early version attributed to the [[w:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Hilbert#The_G.C3.B6ttingen_school|Göttingen School]] appears in a book review by Heinrich Wieleitner in ''Isis'', Volume 7, No. 4, December 1925, p. 597: ''Ach, die Physik! Die ist ja für die Physiker viel zu schwer!'' (Oh, physics! That's just too difficult for the physicists!). {{disputed end}} == Quotes about Hilbert == * More decisive than any other influence for the young Hilbert at Königsberg was his friendship with [[Adolf Hurwitz]] and [[Hermann Minkowski|Minkowski]]. He got his thorough mathematical training less from lectures, teachers or books, than from conversation. ** [[Hermann Weyl]]. {{cite journal|title=David Hilbert and his mathematical work|journal=Bull. Amer. Math. Soc.|volume=50|year=1944|pages=612–654|doi=10.1090/S0002-9904-1944-08178-0}} (quote on p. 613) * David Hilbert—the undisputed, foremost living mathematician in the world and lifelong close friend and collaborator of the by then deceased [[Hermann Minkowski|Minkowski]]—had already presented to the Göttingen Academy his own version of the [[w:Einstein field equations|same equations]] [[w:Relativity priority dispute|a few days earlier]] [than Einstein]. Although Minkowski and Hilbert accomplished their most important achievements in pure mathematical fields, their respective contributions to relativity should in no sense be seen as merely occasional excursions into the field of theoretical physics. Minkowski and Hilbert were motivated by much more than a desire to apply their exceptional mathematical abilities opportunistically... On the contrary, Minkowski's and Hilbert's contributions to relativity are best understood as an organic part of their overall scientific careers. ** [[w:Leo Corry|Leo Corry]], on the Relativity priority dispute "Hermann Minkowski and the Postulate of Relativity", in ''Archive for History of Exact Sciences'' Vol.51, No.4 (1997) * A more thorough study of [[Euclid]]'s axioms and postulates proved them to be inadequate for the deduction of Euclid's geometry. ...Hilbert and others succeeded in filling the gap by stating explicitly a complete system of postulates for Euclidean and non-Euclidean geometries alike. Among the postulates missing in Euclid's list was the celebrated [[w:Archimedean property|postulate of Archimedes]], according to which, by placing an indefinite number of equal lengths end to end along a line, we should eventually pass any point arbitrarily selected on the line. Hilbert, by denying this postulate, just as [[Nikolai Lobachevsky|Lobatchewski]] and [[Bernhard Riemann|Riemann]] had denied Euclid's [[w:Parallel postulate|parallel postulate]], succeeded in constructing a new geometry known as [[w:Non-Archimedean geometry|non-Archimedean]]. It was perfectly consistent but much stranger than the classical non-Euclidean varieties. Likewise, it was proved possible to posit a system of postulates which would yield Euclidean or non-Euclidean geometries of any number of dimensions; hence, so far as rational requirements of the mind were concerned, there was no reason to limit geometry to three dimensions. ** [[w:Aram D'Abro|A. D'Abro]], ''[https://archive.org/details/TheEvolutionOfScientificThought The Evolution of Scientific Thought from Newton to Einstein]'' (1927) pp. 37-38 * Hilbert's problems have the characteristics of any good founding document. Each one is a short essay on its subject, not overly specific, and yet Hilbert makes his intent remarkably clear. He leaves room for change and adjustment. Hilbert's goal was to foster the pursuit of mathematics. ** [[w:Benjamin Yandell|Benjamin Yandell]]: {{cite book|title=The Honors Class: Hilbert's Problems and Their Solvers|page=21|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=3UBZDwAAQBAJ&pg=PA21|year=2001}} *Hilbert was on the verge of retirement. He was the dignified chairman of the mathematical society's meetings, though he no longer came up with those caustic quips that people would repeat afterwards, imitating as best they could his Baltic accent. It is a pity these were not recorded before it was too late. The samples cited in English translation, in [[wikipedia:Constance_Reid|Constance Reid]]'s biography of Hilbert, give only the palest idea of his biting wit. **[[André Weil]], ''The Apprenticeship of a Mathematician (1992)'', p. 51 ==External links== {{wikipedia}} {{commons|David Hilbert}} * {{gutenberg author| id=David+Hilbert | name=David Hilbert}} * [http://www-history.mcs.st-andrews.ac.uk/Biographies/Hilbert.html Profile at University of St. Andrews] * [http://www.ags.uni-sb.de/~cp/p/hilbertbernays/goal.htm Hilbert Bernays Project] * [http://aleph0.clarku.edu/~djoyce/hilbert/problems.html Hilbert's 23 Problems Address] * [http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/hilbert-program/ Hilbert's Program] * [http://math.sfsu.edu/smith/Documents/HilbertRadio/HilbertRadio.mp3 Hilberts radio speech recorded in Königsberg 1930 (in German)], and [http://math.sfsu.edu/smith/Documents/HilbertRadio/HilbertRadio.pdf English translation] {{Math quotes}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Hilbert, David}} [[Category:Academics from Germany]] [[Category:Mathematicians from Germany]] [[Category:Physicists from Germany]] [[Category:Agnostics]] [[Category:1862 births]] [[Category:1943 deaths]] [[Category:Logicians from Germany]] 6draoa89kctj8rwh23d9x6qut7284i7 3942068 3942050 2026-05-17T14:17:17Z Antandrus 237630 Reverted edit by [[Special:Contributions/~2026-29645-01|~2026-29645-01]] ([[User talk:~2026-29645-01|talk]]) to last version by UDScott 3459842 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Hilbert.jpg|thumb|We [[must]] [[know]]. We will know.]] '''[[w:David Hilbert|David Hilbert]]''' ([[January 23]], [[1862]] – [[February 14]], [[1943]]) was a German logician, mathematician, and mathematical physicist. He is recognized as one of the most influential and universal mathematicians of the 19th and early 20th centuries. Hilbert discovered and developed a broad range of fundamental ideas in many areas, including invariant theory and the axiomatization of geometry, as well as the theory of [[w:Hilbert spaces|Hilbert spaces]], one of the foundations of [[w:functional analysis|functional analysis]]. Hilbert and his students also supplied much of the mathematics needed for quantum mechanics and general relativity. == Quotes == [[File:Cantors_cube.jpg|right|thumb|No one shall expel us from the [[Paradise]] that [[Georg Cantor|Cantor]] has created.]] [[File:Hilbert3d-step4.png|right|thumb|We must not [[believe]] those, who today, with [[philosophical]] bearing and deliberative tone, [[prophesy]] the fall of [[culture]] and accept the ''[[wikipedia:Ignoramus et ignorabimus|ignorabimus]]''.]] [[File:3D_Cantor_set.jpg|right|thumb|One of the supreme achievements of purely [[intellectual]] [[human]] activity.]] * '''Every kind of [[science]], if it has only reached a certain degree of maturity, automatically becomes a part of [[mathematics]].''' ** "Axiomatic Thought" (1918), printed in ''From Kant to Hilbert'', Vol. 2 by William Bragg Ewald * ''Aus dem Paradies, das Cantor uns geschaffen, soll uns niemand vertreiben können.'' ** '''No one shall expel us from the [[paradise]] that [[Georg Cantor|Cantor]] has created.''' *** "Über das Unendliche" [On the Infinite] in ''Mathematische Annalen'' 95, (1926) * ''Wir dürfen nicht denen glauben, die heute mit philosophischer Miene und überlegenem Tone den Kulturuntergang prophezeien und sich in dem Ignorabimus gefallen. Für uns gibt es kein Ignorabimus, und meiner Meinung nach auch für die Naturwissenschaft überhaupt nicht. Statt des törichten Ignorabimus heiße im Gegenteil unsere Losung:'' :: '''''Wir müssen wissen — wir werden wissen!''''' :* We must not believe those, who today, with philosophical bearing and deliberative tone, prophesy the fall of culture and accept the ''[[wikipedia:Ignoramus et ignorabimus|ignorabimus]]''. For us there is no ''ignorabimus'', and in my opinion none whatever in natural science. In opposition to the foolish ''ignorabimus'' our slogan shall be: :: '''We must know — we will know!''' ::* Address to the Society of German Scientists and Physicians, in Königsberg (8 September 1930). The concluding statement was used as the epitaph on his tomb in Göttingen. [http://math.sfsu.edu/smith/Documents/HilbertRadio/HilbertRadio.mp3 Radio broadcast of the address], and [http://math.sfsu.edu/smith/Documents/HilbertRadio/HilbertRadio.pdf transcription and English translation]. * '''The art of doing mathematics consists in finding that special case which contains all the germs of generality.''' ** Quoted in [[wikipedia:Constance Reid|Constance Reid]], "Hilbert" (1970) * '''One can measure the importance of a scientific work by the number of earlier publications rendered superfluous by it.''' ** Quoted in ''Mathematical Circles Revisited'' (1971) by Howard Whitley Eves * Mathematics knows no races or geographic boundaries; for mathematics, the cultural world is one country. ** Quoted in ''Mathematical Circles Revisited'' (1971) by Howard Whitley Eves * '''"Mathematics is a presuppositionless science.''' To found it I do not need God, as does Kronecker, or the assumption of a special faculty of our understanding attuned to the principle of mathematical induction, as does Poincaré, or the primal intuition of Brouwer, or, finally, as do Russell and Whitehead, axioms of infinity, reducibility, or completeness, which in fact are actual, contentual assumptions that cannot be compensated for by consistency proofs. ** Quoted in Hilbert's ''Die Grundlagen der Mathematik'' (1927) * If one were to bring ten of the wisest men in the world together and ask them what was the most stupid thing in existence, they would not be able to discover anything so stupid as astrology. ** Quoted in ''Comic Sections'' (1993) by Desmond MacHale * If I were to awaken after having slept for a thousand years, my first question would be: Has the [[wikipedia:Riemann hypothesis|Riemann hypothesis]] been proven? ** Quoted in ''Mathematical Mysteries : The Beauty and Magic of Numbers'' (1999) by Calvin C. Clawson, p. 258 * One of the supreme achievements of purely intellectual human activity. ** On the [[wikipedia:Cantor set|Cantor set]], as quoted in ''A World Without Time : The Forgotten Legacy of Godel and Einstein'' (2005) by Palle Yourgrau, p. 44 * But he ([[Galileo Galilei|Galileo]]) was not an idiot,... '''Only an idiot could believe that scientific truth needs martyrdom''' — that may be necessary in religion, but scientific results prove themselves in time. ** Hilbert (2nd edition, 1996) by Constance Reid, p. 92 * Sometimes it happens that a man's circle of horizon becomes smaller and smaller, and as the radius approaches zero it concentrates on one point. And then that becomes his point of view. ** Hilbert-Courant (1984) by Constance Reid, p. 174 * Keep computations to the lowest level of the multiplication table. ** Hilbert-Courant (1984) by Constance Reid, p. 104 * ''Immer mit den einfachsten Beispielen anfangen.'' ** Begin with the simplest examples. *** Hilbert-Courant (1984) by Constance Reid, p. 104; German version quoted in ''Algebra'' by Michael Artin * I do not see that the sex of the candidate is an argument against her admission as a Privatdozent. After all, the Senate is not a bath-house. ** Hilbert-Courant (1984) by Constance Reid, p. 143 * Good, he did not have enough imagination to become a mathematician. ** Upon hearing that one of his students had dropped out to study poetry, as quoted in [http://books.google.com/?id=nnpChqstvg0C&pg=PA151 ''The Universal Book of Mathematics'' (2004) by David J. Darling, p. 151 <!-- publisher=[[John Wiley and Sons]]|isbn=978-0-471-27047-8 --> === Mathematical Problems (1900) === : <small>[http://aleph0.clarku.edu/~djoyce/hilbert/problems.html "Mathematical Problems" an address to the International Congress of Mathematicians at Paris (1900), translated by Maby Winton Newson for the ''Bulletin of the American Mathematical Society'' 8 (1902)]</small> * '''History teaches the continuity of the development of science. We know that every age has its own problems, which the following age either solves or casts aside as profitless and replaces by new ones.''' If we would obtain an idea of the probable development of mathematical knowledge in the immediate future, we must let the unsettled questions pass before our minds and look over the problems which the science of today sets and whose solution we expect from the future. To such a review of problems the present day, lying at the meeting of the centuries, seems to me well adapted. For the close of a great epoch not only invites us to look back into the past but also directs our thoughts to the unknown future. * '''A mathematical problem should be difficult in order to entice us, yet not completely inaccessible, lest it mock at our efforts.''' It should be to us a guide post on the mazy paths to hidden truths, and ultimately a reminder of our pleasure in the successful solution. * It remains to discuss briefly what general requirements may be justly laid down for the solution of a mathematical problem. I should say first of all, this: that it shall be possible to establish the correctness of the solution by means of a finite number of steps based upon a finite number of hypotheses which are implied in the statement of the problem and which must always be exactly formulated. This requirement of logical deduction by means of a finite number of processes is simply the requirement of rigor in reasoning. * '''To new concepts correspond, necessarily, new signs.''' These we choose in such a way that they remind us of the phenomena which were the occasion for the formation of the new concepts. * If we do not succeed in solving a mathematical problem, the reason frequently consists in our failure to recognize the more general standpoint from which the problem before us appears only as a single link in a chain of related problems. After finding this standpoint, not only is this problem frequently more accessible to our investigation, but at the same time we come into possession of a method which is applicable also to related problems. * This conviction of the solvability of every mathematical problem is a powerful incentive to the worker. We hear within us the perpetual call: There is the problem. Seek its solution. You can find it by pure reason, for in mathematics there is no ignorabimus. * '''Mathematical science is in my opinion an indivisible whole, an organism whose vitality is conditioned upon the connection of its parts.''' For with all the variety of mathematical knowledge, we are still clearly conscious of the similarity of the logical devices, the relationship of the ideas in mathematics as a whole and the numerous analogies in its different departments. We also notice that, the farther a mathematical theory is developed, the more harmoniously and uniformly does its construction proceed, and unsuspected relations are disclosed between hitherto separate branches of the science. So it happens that, '''with the extension of mathematics, its organic character is not lost but only manifests itself the more clearly'''. * The organic unity of mathematics is inherent in the nature of this science, for '''mathematics is the foundation of all exact knowledge of natural phenomena.''' That it may completely fulfil this high mission, may the new century bring it gifted masters and many zealous and enthusiastic disciples! * An old French mathematician said: '''A mathematical theory is not to be considered complete until you have made it so clear that you can explain it to the first man whom you meet on the street.''' This clearness and ease of comprehension, here insisted on for a mathematical theory, I should still more demand for a mathematical problem if it is to be perfect; for what is clear and easily comprehended attracts, the complicated repels us. ** Eine mathematische Theorie ist nicht eher als vollkommen anzusehen, als bis du sie so klar gemacht hast, daß du sie dem ersten Manne erklären könntest, den du auf der Straße triffst. === ''{{w|Geometry and the Imagination}}'' (1952) === : <small>English translation, by {{w|Paul Nemenyi}}, of the 1932 book, ''Anschauliche Geometrie'' by David Hilbert and {{w|Stephan Cohn-Vossen}}, based on a series of lectures Hilbert made in the winter of 1920–21</small> * In mathematics, as in any scientific research, we find two tendencies... [T]he tendency toward ''abstraction'' seeks to crystallize the ''logical'' relations inherent in the maze of material in a systematic and orderly manner. On the other hand, the tendency toward ''intuitive understanding'' fosters a more immediate grasp of the objects... a live ''rapport'' with them... which stresses the concrete meaning of their relations. ...''[I]ntuitive'' understanding plays a major role in geometry. ...[S]uch concrete intuition is of great value not only for the research worker, but... for anyone who wishes to study and appreciate the results of research in geometry. ** Preface * [O]ur purpose is to give a presentation of geometry... in its visual, intuitive aspects. With the aid of visual imagination we can illuminate the manifold facts and problems... beyond this, it is possible... to depict the geometric outline of the methods of investigation and proof, without... entering into the details... In this manner, geometry being as many-faceted as it is and being related to the most diverse branches of mathematics, we may even obtain a summarizing survey of mathematics as a whole, and a valid idea of the variety of problems and the wealth of ideas it contains. Thus a presentation of geometry in large brushstrokes... and based on the approach through visual intuition, should contribute to a more just appreciation of mathematics by a wider range of people than just the specialists. ** Preface * [M]athematics is not a popular subject... The reason for this is to be found in the common superstition that [it] is but a continuation... of the fine art of arithmetic, of juggling with numbers. [We] combat that superstition, by offering, instead of formulas, figures that may be looked at and that may easily be supplemented by models which the reader may construct. This book... bring[s] about a greater enjoyment of mathematics, by making it easier... to penetrate the essence of mathematics without... a laborious course of studies. ** Preface * The various branches of geometry are all interrelated closely and quite often unexpectedly. This shows up in many places in the book. Even so... it was necessary to make each chapter...self-contained... We hope that... we have rendered each chapter taken by itself... understandable and interesting. We want to take the reader on a leisurely walk... in the big garden that is geometry, so that each may pick for himself a bouquet to his liking. ** Preface {{disputed begin}} == Disputed == * Physics is too difficult for physicists! ** This quote has many variants. An early version attributed to the [[w:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Hilbert#The_G.C3.B6ttingen_school|Göttingen School]] appears in a book review by Heinrich Wieleitner in ''Isis'', Volume 7, No. 4, December 1925, p. 597: ''Ach, die Physik! Die ist ja für die Physiker viel zu schwer!'' (Oh, physics! That's just too difficult for the physicists!). {{disputed end}} == Quotes about Hilbert == * More decisive than any other influence for the young Hilbert at Königsberg was his friendship with [[Adolf Hurwitz]] and [[Hermann Minkowski|Minkowski]]. He got his thorough mathematical training less from lectures, teachers or books, than from conversation. ** [[Hermann Weyl]]. {{cite journal|title=David Hilbert and his mathematical work|journal=Bull. Amer. Math. Soc.|volume=50|year=1944|pages=612–654|doi=10.1090/S0002-9904-1944-08178-0}} (quote on p. 613) * David Hilbert—the undisputed, foremost living mathematician in the world and lifelong close friend and collaborator of the by then deceased [[Hermann Minkowski|Minkowski]]—had already presented to the Göttingen Academy his own version of the [[w:Einstein field equations|same equations]] [[w:Relativity priority dispute|a few days earlier]] [than Einstein]. Although Minkowski and Hilbert accomplished their most important achievements in pure mathematical fields, their respective contributions to relativity should in no sense be seen as merely occasional excursions into the field of theoretical physics. Minkowski and Hilbert were motivated by much more than a desire to apply their exceptional mathematical abilities opportunistically... On the contrary, Minkowski's and Hilbert's contributions to relativity are best understood as an organic part of their overall scientific careers. ** [[w:Leo Corry|Leo Corry]], on the Relativity priority dispute "Hermann Minkowski and the Postulate of Relativity", in ''Archive for History of Exact Sciences'' Vol.51, No.4 (1997) * A more thorough study of [[Euclid]]'s axioms and postulates proved them to be inadequate for the deduction of Euclid's geometry. ...Hilbert and others succeeded in filling the gap by stating explicitly a complete system of postulates for Euclidean and non-Euclidean geometries alike. Among the postulates missing in Euclid's list was the celebrated [[w:Archimedean property|postulate of Archimedes]], according to which, by placing an indefinite number of equal lengths end to end along a line, we should eventually pass any point arbitrarily selected on the line. Hilbert, by denying this postulate, just as [[Nikolai Lobachevsky|Lobatchewski]] and [[Bernhard Riemann|Riemann]] had denied Euclid's [[w:Parallel postulate|parallel postulate]], succeeded in constructing a new geometry known as [[w:Non-Archimedean geometry|non-Archimedean]]. It was perfectly consistent but much stranger than the classical non-Euclidean varieties. Likewise, it was proved possible to posit a system of postulates which would yield Euclidean or non-Euclidean geometries of any number of dimensions; hence, so far as rational requirements of the mind were concerned, there was no reason to limit geometry to three dimensions. ** [[w:Aram D'Abro|A. D'Abro]], ''[https://archive.org/details/TheEvolutionOfScientificThought The Evolution of Scientific Thought from Newton to Einstein]'' (1927) pp. 37-38 * Hilbert's problems have the characteristics of any good founding document. Each one is a short essay on its subject, not overly specific, and yet Hilbert makes his intent remarkably clear. He leaves room for change and adjustment. Hilbert's goal was to foster the pursuit of mathematics. ** [[w:Benjamin Yandell|Benjamin Yandell]]: {{cite book|title=The Honors Class: Hilbert's Problems and Their Solvers|page=21|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=3UBZDwAAQBAJ&pg=PA21|year=2001}} *Hilbert was on the verge of retirement. He was the dignified chairman of the mathematical society's meetings, though he no longer came up with those caustic quips that people would repeat afterwards, imitating as best they could his Baltic accent. It is a pity these were not recorded before it was too late. The samples cited in English translation, in [[wikipedia:Constance_Reid|Constance Reid]]'s biography of Hilbert, give only the palest idea of his biting wit. **[[André Weil]], ''The Apprenticeship of a Mathematician (1992)'', p. 51 ==External links== {{wikipedia}} {{commons|David Hilbert}} * {{gutenberg author| id=David+Hilbert | name=David Hilbert}} * [http://www-history.mcs.st-andrews.ac.uk/Biographies/Hilbert.html Profile at University of St. Andrews] * [http://www.ags.uni-sb.de/~cp/p/hilbertbernays/goal.htm Hilbert Bernays Project] * [http://aleph0.clarku.edu/~djoyce/hilbert/problems.html Hilbert's 23 Problems Address] * [http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/hilbert-program/ Hilbert's Program] * [http://math.sfsu.edu/smith/Documents/HilbertRadio/HilbertRadio.mp3 Hilberts radio speech recorded in Königsberg 1930 (in German)], and [http://math.sfsu.edu/smith/Documents/HilbertRadio/HilbertRadio.pdf English translation] {{Math quotes}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Hilbert, David}} [[Category:Academics from Germany]] [[Category:Mathematicians from Germany]] [[Category:Physicists from Germany]] [[Category:Agnostics]] [[Category:1862 births]] [[Category:1943 deaths]] [[Category:Logicians from Germany]] mx3br2yzfed20dqy9tlgssnp89w1jjg 0 791 3942226 3935948 2026-05-18T00:56:04Z DanielTom 608538 /* Book X */ Add image 3942226 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} [[Image:Milton paradise.jpg|thumb|Golden days, fruitful of golden deeds, <br /> With joy and love triumphing.]] '''''[[w:Paradise Lost|Paradise Lost]]''''' ([[w:1667|1667]], [[w:1674|1674]]) is an epic poem by the 17th century English poet [[John Milton]]. The poem concerns the Christian story of the fall of Satan and his brethren and the rise of Man: the temptation of Adam and Eve by Satan and their expulsion from the Garden of Eden. <small>Note that chapter and line references correspond with the 1674 version of the text, available online [[s:Paradise Lost (1674)| here]].</small> == Book I == [[File:Michelangelo Sündenfall.jpg|thumb|Of man's first disobedience, and the fruit <br /> Of that forbidden tree whose mortal taste <br /> Brought death into the world, and all our woe, <br /> With loss of Eden, till one greater Man <br /> Restore us, and regain the blissful seat.]] * '''Of Man's first disobedience, and the fruit <br /> Of that forbidden tree whose mortal taste <br /> Brought death into the world, and all our woe, <br /> With loss of Eden, till one greater Man <br /> Restore us, and regain the blissful Seat,''' ** Lines 1-5 * Sing Heav'nly Muse, that on the secret top <br /> Of Oreb, or of Sinai, didst inspire <br /> That Shepherd, who first taught the chosen Seed, <br /> In the Beginning how the Heav'ns and Earth <br /> Rose out of Chaos: Or if Sion Hill <br /> Delight thee more, and Siloa's Brook that flow'd <br /> Fast by the Oracle of God; I thence <br /> Invoke thy aid to my adventrous Song, <br /> That with no middle flight intends to soar <br /> Above th' Aonian Mount, while it pursues <br /> Things unattempted yet in Prose or Rhime. ** Lines 6-16 * What in me is dark <br /> Illumine, what is low raise and support; <br /> That to the height of this great argument <br /> I may assert eternal Providence, <br /> And justify the ways of God to men. ** Lines 22-26. Compare: "But vindicate the ways of God to man", [[Alexander Pope]], ''[[Essay on Man]]'', epistle i. line 16 * The infernal serpent; he it was, whose guile, <br /> Stirred up with envy and revenge, deceived <br /> The mother of mankind. ** Lines 34-36 * Him the Almighty Power <br /> Hurled headlong flaming from th' ethereal sky <br /> With hideous ruin and combustion down <br /> To bottomless perdition, there to dwell <br /> In adamantine chains and penal fire, <br /> Who durst defy th' Omnipotent to arms. ** Lines 44-49 *As far as angels' ken. ** Line 59 *Yet from those flames <br /> '''No light, but rather darkness visible.''' ** Lines 62-63 * Regions of sorrow, doleful shades, where peace <br /> And rest can never dwell, hope never comes <br /> That comes at all. ** Lines 65-67 * What though the field be lost? <br /> All is not lost; th’ unconquerable will, <br /> And study of revenge, immortal hate, <br /> And courage never to submit or yield. <br /> ** Lines 105-108 * To be weak is miserable, <br /> Doing or suffering. ** Lines 157-158 *And out of good still to find means of evil. **Line 165 *Thus Satan talking to his nearest mate<br />With head uplift above the wave, and eyes<br />That sparkling blazed; his other parts besides<br />Prone on the flood, extended long and large<br />'''Lay floating many a rood, in bulk as huge<br />As whom the fables name of monstrous size,<br />Titanian, or Earth-born, that warred on Jove,<br />Briareos or Typhon, whom the den<br />By ancient Tarsus held, or that sea-beast<br />Leviathan, which God created of all his works<br />Created hugest that swim th' Ocean stream.''' **Lines 192-202 *Farewell happy fields, <br /> Where joy forever dwells: hail, horrors! **Line 249 * A mind not to be changed by place or time. <br /> '''The mind is its own place, and in itself <br /> Can make a heav'n of hell, a hell of heav'n.''' ** Lines 253-55. See also Book IV, line 75 [[File:Satan summoning his Legions, 1796-1797 by Sir Thomas Lawrence.jpg|thumb|Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heaven.]] * […] Here at least <br /> we shall be free; the Almighty hath not built <br /> Here for his envy, will not drive us hence: <br /> Here we may reign secure, and in my choice <br /> to reign is worth ambition though in Hell: <br /> '''Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heaven.''' ** Lines 258-63 ** Compare: *** With the proud disdain of a tyrant he chose to rejoice over his subjects rather than to be a subject himself. **** [[Augustine]]'', [[w:The City of God|The City of God]]'' (early 400s); Penguin Classics translation by [[w:Henry S. Bettenson|Henry S. Bettenson]]; of Satan *** Now, forasmuch as I was once an Angel of light, it was the will of Wisdom to confine me to darkness, and to create me Prince thereof; that so I, who could not obey in Heaven, must command in Hell. And, believe me, Sir, I had rather control within my dark diocese, than to reinhabit ''caelum empyreum'', and there live in subjection, under check, a slave of the Most High. **** [[w:Anthony Stafford|Anthony Stafford]], ''Niobe'' (1611); spoken by Satan *** To be in Heaven the second he disdains;<br />So now the first in Hell and flames he reigns. **** [[Phineas Fletcher]], ''Locusts'' (1627), p. 37 *** In Heaven they scorned to serve, so now in Hell they reign. **** [[Phineas Fletcher]], ''The Purple Island'' (1633), Canto VII, stanza 10 *Heard so oft <br /> In worst extremes, and on the perilous edge <br /> Of battle. **Line 275 *His spear, to equal which the tallest pine <br /> Hewn on Norwegian hills to be the mast <br /> Of some great ammiral were but a wand, <br /> He walk'd with to support uneasy steps <br /> Over the burning marle. **Line 292 *Thick as autumnal leaves that strow the brooks <br /> In Vallombrosa, where th' Etrurian shades <br /> High over-arch'd imbower. **Line 302 * Awake, arise, or be for ever fall'n. ** Line 330 *Spirits when they please <br /> Can either sex assume, or both. **Line 423 *Execute their airy purposes. **Line 430 * And, when night <br /> Darkens the streets, then wander forth the sons <br /> Of Belial, flown with insolence and wine. ** Lines 500-502 *Th' imperial ensign, which full high advanc'd <br /> Shone like a meteor, streaming to the wind. **Line 536. Compare: "Stream'd like a meteor to the troubled air", [[Thomas Gray]], ''The Bard'', i. 2, line 6. * Sonorous metal blowing martial sounds: <br /> At which the universal host up sent <br /> A shout that tore hell's concave, and beyond <br /> Frighted the reign of Chaos and old Night. ** Lines 540-543 *Anon they move <br /> In perfect phalanx, to the Dorian mood <br /> Of flutes and soft recorders. **Line 549 *His form had yet not lost <br /> All her original brightness, nor appear'd <br /> Less than archangel ruin'd, and th' excess <br /> Of glory obscur'd. **Line 591 *In dim eclipse, disastrous twilight sheds <br /> On half the nations, and with fear of change <br /> Perplexes monarchs. **Line 597 *Thrice he assay'd, and thrice in spite of scorn <br /> Tears, such as angels weep, burst forth. **Line 619 * For who can yet believe, though after loss, <br /> That all these puissant legions, whose exile <br /> Hath emptied Heaven, shall fail to re-ascend, <br /> Self-raised, and repossess their native seat? ** Lines 631-34 * '''Who overcomes <br /> By force, hath overcome but half his foe.''' ** Lines 648-49 * Mammon, the least erected spirit that fell <br /> From heaven; for ev’n in heaven his looks and thoughts <br /> Were always downward bent, admiring more <br /> The riches of heaven’s pavement, trodden gold, <br /> Than aught divine or holy else enjoy’d <br /> In vision beatific. ** Lines 679-84 * Let none admire <br /> That riches grow in hell; that soil may best <br /> Deserve the precious bane. ** Lines 690-692 *Anon out of the earth a fabric huge <br /> Rose, like an exhalation. **Line 710 * From morn <br /> To noon he fell, from noon to dewy eve, <br /> A summer's day; and with the setting sun <br /> Dropped from the zenith like a falling star. ** Lines 742-745 *Fairy elves, <br /> Whose midnight revels by a forest side <br /> Or fountain some belated peasant sees, <br /> Or dreams he sees, while overhead the moon <br /> Sits arbitress. **Line 781 == Book II == * High on a throne of royal state, which far <br /> Outshone the wealth of Ormus and of Ind, <br /> Or where the gorgeous East with richest hand <br /> Showers on her kings barbaric pearl and gold, <br /> Satan exalted sat, by merit raised <br /> To that bad eminence; and from despair <br /> Thus high uplifted beyond hope, aspires <br /> Beyond thus high, insatiate to pursue <br /> Vain war with heav'n. ** Lines 1-9 *Surer to prosper than prosperity <br /> Could have assur'd us. **Line 39 *The strongest and the fiercest spirit <br /> That fought in heaven, now fiercer by despair. **Line 44 * Rather than be less <br /> Cared not to be at all. ** Lines 47-48 * My sentence is for open War; Of Wiles, <br /> More unexpert, I boast not: them let those <br /> Contrive who need, or when they need, not now. <br /> For while they sit contriving, shall the rest, <br /> Millions that stand in Arms, and longing wait <br /> The Signal to ascend, sit ling'ring here, <br /> Heav'n's fugitives, and for their dwelling place <br /> Accept this dark opprobrious Den of shame, <br /> The Prison of his Tyranny who Reigns <br /> By our delay? no, let us rather choose, <br /> Arm'd with Hell flames and fury all at once <br /> O'er Heaven's high Tow'rs to force resistless way, <br /> Turning our Tortures into horrid Arms <br /> Against the Torturer. ** Lines 51-64 *That in our proper motion we ascend <br /> Up to our native seat: descent and fall <br /> To us is adverse. **Line 75 *When the scourge <br /> Inexorable and the torturing hour <br /> Call us to penance. **Line 90 *Which, if not victory, is yet revenge. **Line 105 *But all was false and hollow; though his tongue <br /> Dropp'd manna, and could make the worse appear <br /> The better reason, to perplex and dash <br /> Maturest counsels. ** Lines 112-114. Compare: "Aristophanes turns Socrates into ridicule…as making the worse appear the better reason", [[Diogenes Laërtius]], Socrates, v *Th' ethereal mould <br /> Incapable of stain would soon expel <br /> Her mischief, and purge off the baser fire, <br /> Victorious. Thus repulsed, our final hope <br /> Is flat despair: we must exasperate <br /> Th' Almighty Victor to spend all his rage; <br /> And that must end us; that must be our cure-- <br /> To be no more. Sad cure! for who would lose, <br /> Though full of pain, this intellectual being, <br /> Those thoughts that wander through eternity, <br /> To perish rather, swallowed up and lost <br /> In the wide womb of uncreated Night, <br /> Devoid of sense and motion? ** Lines 142-51. Compare: "Our hope is loss, our hope but sad despair", [[William Shakespeare]], Henry VI. part iii. act ii, scene. 3 *His red right hand. **Line 174; compare: "''Rubente dextera''", [[Horace]], Ode i, 2, 2 *Unrespited, unpitied, unrepriev'd. **Line 185 *The never-ending flight <br /> Of future days. **Line 221 * Thus Belial with words clothed in reason's garb <br /> Counseled ignoble ease, and peaceful sloth, <br /> Not peace. ** Lines 226-228 *Our torments also may in length of time <br /> Become our elements. **Line 274 * With grave <br /> Aspect he rose, and in his rising seemed <br /> A pillar of state; deep on his front engraven <br /> Deliberation sat and public care; <br /> And princely counsel in his face yet shone, <br /> Majestic though in ruin: sage he stood, <br /> With Atlantean shoulders, fit to bear <br /> The weight of mightiest monarchies; his look <br /> Drew audience and attention still as night <br /> Or summer's noontide air. ** Lines 300-305 * To sit in darkness here <br /> Hatching vain empires. ** Lines 377-378 *The palpable obscure. **Line 406 * '''Long is the way <br /> And hard, that out of Hell leads up to Light.''' ** Lines 432-33. *** Compare: "'[...]facilis descensus Averno: noctes atque dies patet atri ianua Ditis; sed revocare gradum superasque evadere ad auras, hoc opus, hic labor est.'" [[Virgil]], ''Aeneid'', vi. 126. ("The gates of hell are open night and day; Smooth the descent, and easy is the way: But to return, and view the cheerful skies, In this the task and mighty labor lies." —[[Dryden]].) * Their rising all at once was as the sound <br /> Of thunder heard remote. ** Lines 476-477 *The low'ring element <br /> Scowls o'er the darken'd landscape. **Line 490 *Oh, shame to men! devil with devil damn'd <br /> Firm concord holds, men only disagree <br /> Of creatures rational. **Line 496 *In discourse more sweet; <br /> For eloquence the soul, song charms the sense. <br /> Others apart sat on a hill retired, <br /> In thoughts more elevate, and reasoned high <br /> Of Providence, foreknowledge, will, and fate, <br /> Fixed fate, free will, foreknowledge absolute, <br /> And found no end, in wand'ring mazes lost. ** Lines 555-561 *Vain wisdom all and false philosophy. **Line 565 *Arm th' obdur'd breast <br /> With stubborn patience as with triple steel. **Line 568 *A gulf profound as that Serbonian bog <br /> Betwixt Damiata and Mount Casius old, <br /> Where armies whole have sunk: the parching air <br /> Burns frore, and cold performs th' effect of fire. <br /> Thither by harpy-footed Furies hal'd, <br /> At certain revolutions all the damn'd <br /> Are brought, and feel by turns the bitter change <br /> Of fierce extremes,—extremes by change more fierce; <br /> From beds of raging fire to starve in ice <br /> Their soft ethereal warmth, and there to pine <br /> Immovable, infix'd, and frozen round, <br /> Periods of time; thence hurried back to fire. **Lines 597-603 *O'er many a frozen, many a fiery Alp, <br /> Rocks, caves, lakes, fens, bogs, dens, and shades of death. **Line 620 *Gorgons and Hydras and Chimæras dire. **Line 628 *The other shape, <br /> If shape it might be call'd that shape had none <br /> Distinguishable in member, joint, or limb; <br /> Or substance might be call'd that shadow seem'd, <br /> For each seem'd either,—black it stood as night, <br /> Fierce as ten furies, terrible as hell, <br /> And shook a dreadful dart; what seem'd his head <br /> The likeness of a kingly crown had on. <br /> Satan was now at hand. **Line 666 *Whence and what art thou, execrable shape? **Line 681 *Back to thy punishment, <br /> False fugitive, and to thy speed add wings. **Line 699 *So spake the grisly Terror. **Line 704 [[Image:William Blake - Paradise Lost - Satan, Sin, and Death - Satan Comes to the Gates of Hell.jpg|thumb|Incensed with indignation Satan stood <br /> Unterrified, and like a comet burned <br /> That fires the length of [[W:Ophiuchus|Ophiuchus]] huge <br /> In the arctic sky, and from his horrid hair <br /> Shakes pestilence and war.]] *Incens'd with indignation Satan stood <br /> Unterrify'd, and like a comet burn'd <br /> That fires the length of Ophiuchus huge <br /> In th' arctic sky, and from his horrid hair <br /> Shakes pestilence and war. **Line 707 *Their fatal hands <br /> No second stroke intend. **Line 712 *Hell <br /> Grew darker at their frown. **Line 719 *I fled, and cry'd out, DEATH! <br /> Hell trembled at the hideous name, and sigh'd <br /> From all her caves, and back resounded, DEATH! **Line 787 * Before mine eyes in opposition sits <br /> Grim Death, my son and foe. ** Lines 803-804 *Death <br /> Grinn'd horrible a ghastly smile, to hear <br /> His famine should be fill'd. **Line 845 *On a sudden open fly, <br /> With impetuous recoil and jarring sound, <br /> Th' infernal doors, and on their hinges grate <br /> Harsh thunder. **Line 879 *Where eldest Night <br /> And Chaos, ancestors of Nature, hold <br /> Eternal anarchy amidst the noise <br /> Of endless wars, and by confusion stand; <br /> For hot, cold, moist, and dry, four champions fierce, <br /> Strive here for mast'ry. ** Lines 894-899 * Into this wilde Abyss, <br /> The Womb of nature and perhaps her Grave, <br /> Of neither Sea, nor Shore, nor Air, nor Fire, <br /> But all these in thir pregnant causes mixt <br /> Confus'dly, and which thus must ever fight, <br /> Unless th' Almighty Maker them ordain <br /> His dark materials to create more Worlds, <br /> Into this wilde Abyss the warie fiend <br /> Stood on the brink of Hell and look'd a while, <br /> Pondering his Voyage. ** Lines 910-919 *To compare <br /> Great things with small. **Line 921; compare: "Compare great things with small", [[Virgil]], ''Eclogues'', i. 24; ''Georgics'', iv. 176; [[Abraham Cowley]], ''The Motto''; [[John Dryden]], ''Ovid, Metamorphoses'', book i. line 727; [[Thomas Tickell]], ''Poem on Hunting''; [[Alexander Pope]], ''Windsor Forest''. *O'er bog or steep, through strait, rough, dense, or rare, <br /> With head, hands, wings, or feet, pursues his way, <br /> And swims or sinks, or wades, or creeps, or flies. **Line 948 * With ruin upon ruin, rout on rout, <br /> Confusion worse confounded. ** Lines 995-996 *So he with difficulty and labour hard <br /> Mov'd on, with difficulty and labour he. **Line 1021 *And fast by, hanging in a golden chain, <br /> This pendent world, in bigness as a star <br /> Of smallest magnitude, close by the moon. **Line 1051 == Book III == * Hail, holy light! offspring of heav'n first born. ** Line 1 *The rising world of waters dark and deep. **Line 11 *Thoughts that voluntary move <br /> Harmonious numbers. **Line 37 * Thus with the year <br /> Seasons return; but not to me returns <br /> Day, or the sweet approach of ev'n or morn, <br /> Or sight of vernal bloom, or summer's rose, <br /> Or flocks, or herds, or human face divine; <br /> But cloud instead, and ever-during dark <br /> Surrounds me, from the cheerful ways of men <br /> Cut off, and for the book of knowledge fair <br /> Presented with a universal blank <br /> Of Nature's works to me expunged and razed, <br /> And wisdom at one entrance quite shut out. ** Lines 40-50 * I made him just and right, <br /> Sufficient to have stood, though free to fall. ** Lines 98-99 * Golden days, fruitful of golden deeds, <br /> With joy and love triumphing. **Line 337 *Dark with excessive bright. **Line 380 *Embryos and idiots, eremites and friars, <br /> White, black, and gray, with all their trumpery. **Line 474 *Into a limbo large and broad, since call'd <br /> The Paradise of Fools, to few unknown. **Lines 495-496 *Neither man nor angel can discern <br /> Hypocrisy, the only evil that walks <br /> Invisible *Lines 682-684 *And oft, though wisdom wake, suspicion sleeps <br /> At wisdom's gate, and to simplicity <br /> Resigns her charge, while goodness thinks no ill <br /> Where no ill seems. **Line 686 == Book IV == *'''''Satan'', now first inflam’d with rage, came down''', <br /> The Tempter ere th’ Accuser of man-kind, <br /> To wreck on innocent frail man his loss <br /> Of that first Battel, and his flight to Hell: <br /> Yet not rejoycing in his speed, though bold, <br /> Far off and fearless, nor with cause to boast, <br /> Begins his dire attempt, which nigh the birth <br /> Now rowling, boiles in his tumultuous brest, <br /> And like a devillish Engine back recoiles <br /> Upon himself; horror and doubt distract <br /> His troubl’d thoughts, and from the bottom stirr <br /> The Hell within him, for within him Hell <br /> He brings, and round about him, nor from Hell <br /> One step no more then from himself can fly <br /> By change of place: '''Now conscience wakes despair <br /> That slumberd, wakes the bitter memorie <br /> Of what he was, what is, and what must be <br /> Worse; of worse deeds worse sufferings must ensue.''' **Lines 8 - 23 *At whose sight all the stars <br /> Hide their diminish'd heads. **Line 34; compare: "Ye little stars! hide our diminished rays", [[Alexander Pope]], Moral Essays, Epistle iii, line 282. *A grateful mind <br /> By owing owes not, but still pays, at once <br /> Indebted and discharg'd. **Line 55 * '''Me miserable! which way shall I fly <br /> Infinite wrath and infinite despair? <br /> Which way I fly is hell; myself am hell'''; <br /> And in the lowest deep a lower deep, <br /> Still threat’ning to devour me, opens wide, <br /> To which the hell I suffer seems a heaven. ** Lines 73-78 [[File:Martin, John - Satan presiding at the Infernal Council - 1824.JPG|thumb|Under what [[torments]] inwardly I groan, <br /> While they [[adore]] me on the [[throne]] of [[Hell]]! <br /> With [[Crown|diadem]] and scepter high advanced <br /> The lower still I fall, only supreme <br /> In [[misery]]: such [[joy]] [[ambition]] finds!]] * '''Under what [[torments]] inwardly I groane; <br /> While they [[adore]] me on the [[Throne]] of [[Hell]], <br /> With [[Crown|Diadem]] and Scepter high advanc’d <br /> The lower still I fall, onely Supream <br /> In [[Misery|miserie]]; such [[joy]] [[Ambition]] findes.''' <br /> But say I could [[repent]] and could obtaine <br /> By [[Act]] of [[Grace]] my former state; how soon <br /> Would highth recal high [[thoughts]], how soon unsay <br /> What feign’d [[submission]] swore: ease would recant <br /> [[Vows]] made in [[pain]], as [[violent]] and void. <br /> For never can true [[Reconciliation|reconcilement]] [[grow]] <br /> Where [[wounds]] of [[deadly]] [[hate]] have peirc’d so deep: <br /> Which would but lead me to a worse relapse <br /> And heavier fall: so should I [[purchase]] deare <br /> Short intermission bought with double smart. <br /> This knows my punisher; therefore as farr <br /> From granting hee, as I from [[begging]] [[peace]]: <br /> All [[hope]] excluded thus, behold in stead <br /> Of us out-cast, [[Exile|exil'd]], his new [[delight]], <br /> [[Mankind]] [[created]], and for him this [[World]]. **Lines 88 - 107 * '''So farewel Hope, and with Hope farewel Fear, <br /> Farewel Remorse: all Good to me is lost;<br /> Evil be thou my Good'''; by thee at least<br /> Divided Empire with Heav'ns King I hold<br /> By thee, and more then half perhaps will reigne;<br /> As Man ere long, and this new World shall know. ** Lines 108-113 *That practis'd falsehood under saintly shew, <br /> Deep malice to conceal, couch'd with revenge. **Line 122 *Sabean odours from the spicy shore <br /> Of Araby the Blest. **Line 162 * And on the Tree of Life, <br /> The middle tree and highest there that grew, <br /> Sat like a cormorant. ** Lines 194-196 *A heaven on earth. **Line 208 *Flowers worthy of paradise. **Line 241 *Flowers of all hue, and without thorn the rose. **Line 256. Compare: "But ne'er the rose without the thorn", [[Robert Herrick]], ''The Rose'' *Proserpine gathering flowers, <br /> Herself a fairer flower. **Line 269 * Two of far nobler shape erect and tall, <br /> Godlike erect, with native honor clad <br /> In naked majesty seemed lords of all. ** Lines 288-290 * For contemplation he and valor formed, <br /> For softness she and sweet attractive grace; <br /> He for God only, she for God in him. <br /> His fair large front and eye sublime declar'd <br /> Absolute rule; and hyacinthine locks <br /> Round from his parted forelock manly hung <br /> Clustering, but not beneath his shoulders broad. ** Lines 297-303 * Implied <br /> Subjection, but required with gentle sway, <br /> And by her yielded, by him best received, <br /> Yielded with coy submission, modest pride, <br /> And sweet reluctant amorous delay. ** Lines 307-311 * Adam the goodliest man of men since born <br /> His sons, the fairest of her daughters Eve. ** Lines 323-324 * So spake the Fiend, and with necessity, <br /> The tyrant's plea, excused his devilish deeds. ** Lines 393-394. Compare: "Necessity is the argument of tyrants, it is the creed of slaves", [[William Pitt the Younger]], Speech on the India Bill, November, 1783 *As Jupiter <br /> On Juno smiles, when he impregns the clouds <br /> That shed May flowers. **Line 499 *Imparadis'd in one another's arms. **Line 506 *Live while ye may, <br /> Yet happy pair. **Line 533 * Knowledge forbidd'n? <br /> Suspicious, reasonless. Why should thir Lord <br /> Envie them that? can it be sin to know, <br /> Can it be death? and do they onely stand <br /> By Ignorance, is that thir happie state, <br /> The proof of thir obedience and thir faith? <br /> O fair foundation laid whereon to build <br /> Thir ruine! Hence I will excite thir minds <br /> With more desire to know, and to reject <br /> Envious commands, invented with designe <br /> To keep them low whom knowledge might exalt <br /> Equal with Gods; aspiring to be such, <br /> They taste and die: what likelier can ensue? **Line 515-527 *'''Now came still evening on, and twilight gray <br /> Had in her sober livery all things clad'''; <br /> Silence accompany'd; for beast and bird, <br /> They to their grassy couch, these to their nests, <br /> Were slunk, all but the wakeful nightingale; <br /> She all night long her amorous descant sung; <br /> Silence was pleas'd. Now glow'd the firmament <br /> With living sapphires; Hesperus, that led <br /> The starry host, rode brightest, till the moon, <br /> Rising in clouded majesty, at length <br /> Apparent queen unveil'd her peerless light, <br /> And o'er the dark her silver mantle threw. **Line 598 * The wakeful nightingale, <br /> She all night long her amorous descant sung; <br /> Silence was pleased: now glowed the firmament <br /> With living sapphires: Hesperus, that led <br /> The starry host, rode brightest, till the moon, <br /> Rising in clouded majesty, at length <br /> Apparent queen unveiled her peerless light, <br /> And o'er the dark her silver mantle threw. ** Lines 602-609 *The timely dew of sleep. **Line 614 [[File:Satan watching the endearments of Adam and Eve.jpg|thumb|With thee conversing I forget all [[time]], <br /> All [[seasons]], and their [[change]]; all please alike.]] * With thee conversing I forget all [[time]], <br /> All [[seasons]], and their [[change]]; all please alike. <br /> Sweet is the breath of morn, her rising sweet, <br /> With charm of earliest birds; pleasant the sun <br /> When first on this delightful land he spreads <br /> His orient beams on herb, tree, fruit, and flower, <br /> Glist'ring with dew; fragrant the fertile earth <br /> After soft showers; and sweet the coming on <br /> Of grateful ev'ning mild; then silent night <br /> With this her solemn bird and this fair moon, <br /> And these the gems of heaven, her starry train: <br /> But neither breath of morn when she ascends <br /> With charm of earliest birds, nor rising sun <br /> On this delightful land, nor herb, fruit, flower, <br /> Glist'ring with dew, nor fragrance after showers, <br /> Nor grateful ev'ning mild, nor silent night <br /> With this her solemn bird, nor walk by moon <br /> Or glittering starlight, without thee is sweet. ** Lines 639-656 * Millions of spiritual creatures walk the earth <br /> Unseen, both when we wake, and when we sleep. ** Lines 677-678 *In naked beauty more adorn'd, <br /> More lovely than Pandora. **Line 713. Compare: "When unadorned, adorned the most", [[James Thomson]], ''Autumn'', line 204 * Eased the putting off <br /> These troublesome disguises which we wear. ** Lines 739-740 * Hail wedded love, mysterious law, true source <br /> Of human offspring. ** Lines 750-751 *Squat like a toad, close at the ear of Eve. **Line 800 *Him thus intent Ithuriel with his spear <br /> Touch'd lightly; for no falsehood can endure <br /> Touch of celestial temper. **Line 810 *Not to know me argues yourselves unknown, <br /> The lowest of your throng. **Line 830 [[File:GuidoReni MichaelDefeatsSatan.jpg|thumb|Abashed the Devil stood, <br /> And felt how awful goodness is, and saw <br /> Virtue in her shape how lovely — saw, and pined<br />His loss.]] * '''Abashed the Devil stood, <br /> And felt how awful goodness is, and saw <br /> Virtue in her shape how lovely; saw, and pined <br /> His loss.''' ** Lines 846-848 * Came not '''all hell broke loose?''' ** Line 918 *Like Teneriff or Atlas unremoved. **Line 987 *The starry cope <br /> Of heaven. **Line 992 *Fled <br /> Murmuring, and with him fled the shades of night. **Line 1014 == Book V == *Now morn, her rosy steps in th' eastern clime <br /> Advancing, sow'd the earth with orient pearl, <br /> When Adam wak'd, so custom'd; for his sleep <br /> Was aery light, from pure digestion bred. **Line 1 *Hung over her enamour'd, and beheld <br /> Beauty, which, whether waking or asleep, <br /> Shot forth peculiar graces. **Line 13 *My latest found, <br /> Heaven's last, best gift, my ever new delight! **Line 18 * '''Good, the more <br /> Communicated, more abundant grows.''' ** Lines 71-72. * These are thy glorious works, Parent of good. ** Line 153 * Him first, him last, him midst, and without end. ** Line 165 *Fairest of stars, last in the train of night, <br /> If better thou belong not to the dawn. **Line 166 * Fountains, and ye, that warble, as ye flow,<br />Melodious murmurs, warbling tune his praise. ** Line 195 *A wilderness of sweets. **Line 294 *Another morn <br /> Ris'n on mid-noon. **Line 310 * So saying, with dispatchful looks in haste <br /> She turns, on hospitable thoughts intent. ** Lines 331-332 * Nor jealousy <br /> Was understood, the injured lover's hell. ** Lines 449-450 *The bright consummate flower. **Line 481 * '''Freely we serve, <br /> Because we freely love, as in our will <br /> To love or not; in this we stand or fall.''' ** Lines 538-540 * What if earth <br /> Be but the shadow of heaven, and things therein <br /> Each to other like, more than on earth is thought? ** Lines 574-576 *Thrones, Dominations, Princedoms, Virtues, Powers. **Line 601 * All seemed well pleased, all seemed but were not all. ** Line 617 *They eat, they drink, and in communion sweet <br /> Quaff immortality and joy. **Line 637 *Satan; so call him now, his former name <br /> Is heard no more in heaven. **Line 658 *Midnight brought on the dusky hour <br /> Friendliest to sleep and silence. **Line 667 *Innumerable as the stars of night, <br /> Or stars of morning, dewdrops which the sun <br /> Impearls on every leaf and every flower. **Line 745 * Will ye submit your necks, and chuse to bend <br /> The supple knee? ye will not, if I trust <br /> To know ye right, or if ye know your selves <br /> Natives and Sons of Heav'n possest before <br /> By none, and if not equal all, yet free, <br /> Equally free; for Orders and Degrees <br /> Jarr not with liberty, but well consist. <br /> Who can in reason then or right assume <br /> Monarchie over such as live by right... ** Line 787 *So spake the seraph Abdiel, faithful found; <br /> Among the faithless, faithful only he. **Line 896-897 == Book VI == * Morn, <br /> Waked by the circling hours, with rosy hand <br /> Unbarred the gates of light. ** Lines 2-4 * Servant of God, well done, well hast thou fought <br /> The better fight, who single hast maintained <br /> Against revolted multitudes the cause <br /> Of truth, in word mightier than they in arms. ** Lines 29-32 * How few somtimes may know, when thousands err. ** Line 148 *Arms on armour clashing bray'd <br /> Horrible discord, and the madding wheels <br /> Of brazen chariots rag'd: dire was the noise <br /> Of conflict. **Line 209 *Spirits that live throughout, <br /> Vital in every part, not as frail man, <br /> In entrails, heart or head, liver or reins, <br /> Cannot but by annihilating die. **Line 345 *Far off his coming shone. **Line 768 * In heavenly spirits could such [[perverseness]] dwell? ** Line 788; compare: "Tantaene animis coelestibus irae?", [[Virgil]], ''Aeneid'', i. 16 == Book VII == * More safe I sing with mortal voice, unchanged <br /> To hoarse or mute, though fall'n, and evil tongues; <br /> In darkness, and with dangers compassed round, <br /> And solitude. ** Lines 24-28 *Still govern thou my song, <br /> Urania, and fit audience find, though few. **Line 30 * Out of one man a race <br /> Of men innumerable. ** Lines 155-156 *Heaven open'd wide <br /> Her ever during gates, harmonious sound, <br /> On golden hinges moving. **Line 205 * On heav'nly ground they stood, and from the shore<br />They view'd the vast immeasurable Abyss<br />Outrageous as a Sea, dark, wasteful, wilde,<br />Up from the bottom turn'd by furious windes<br />And surging waves, as Mountains to assault<br />Heav'ns highth, and with the Center mix the Pole.<br />"Silence, ye troubl'd waves, and thou Deep, peace!"<br />Said then th' Omnific Word, "Your discord end!"<br />Nor staid, but on the Wings of Cherubim<br />Uplifted, in Paternal Glorie rode<br />Farr into Chaos, and the World unborn;<br />For Chaos heard his voice: him all his Traine<br />Follow'd in bright procession to behold<br />Creation, and the wonders of his might.<br />Then staid the fervid Wheeles, and in his hand<br />He took the golden Compasses, prepar'd<br />In Gods Eternal store, to circumscribe<br />This Universe, and all created things:<br />One foot he center'd, and the other turn'd<br />Round through the vast profunditie obscure,<br />And said, "Thus farr extend, thus farr thy bounds,<br />This be thy just Circumference, O World!" ** Lines 210–231 *Hither, as to their fountain, other stars <br /> Repairing, in their golden urns draw light. **Line 364 * There Leviathan <br /> Hugest of living creatures, on the deep <br /> Stretched like a promontory sleeps or swims, <br /> And seems a moving land, and at his gills <br /> Draws in, and at his trunk spouts out a sea. ** Lines 412-416 *Now half appear'd <br /> The tawny lion, pawing to get free <br /> His hinder parts. **Line 463 *Indu'd <br /> With sanctity of reason. **Line 507 * The planets in their stations list'ning stood, <br /> While the bright pomp ascended jubilant. <br /> Open, ye everlasting gates, they sung, <br /> Open ye heavens, your living doors; let in <br /> The great Creator from his work returned <br /> Magnificent, his six days' work, a world. ** Line 563-568 *A broad and ample road, whose dust is gold, <br /> And pavement stars,—as stars to thee appear <br /> Seen in the galaxy, that milky way <br /> Which nightly as a circling zone thou seest <br /> Powder'd with stars. **Line 577 == Book VIII == * The angel ended, and in Adam's ear <br /> So charming left his voice that he awhile <br /> Thought him still speaking, still stood fixed to hear. ** Lines 1-3 *There swift return <br /> Diurnal, merely to officiate light <br /> Round this opacous earth, this punctual spot. **Line 21 *And grace that won who saw to wish her stay. **Line 43 *And touch'd by her fair tendance, gladlier grew. **Line 47 *With centric and eccentric scribbled o'er, <br /> Cycle and epicycle, orb in orb. **Line 83 *Her silent course advance <br /> With inoffensive pace, that spinning sleeps <br /> On her soft axle. **Line 163 *Be lowly wise: <br /> Think only what concerns thee and thy being. **Line 173 * To know <br /> That which before us lies in daily life <br /> Is the prime wisdom. ** Lines 192-194 *Liquid lapse of murmuring streams. **Line 263 *And feel that I am happier than I know. **Line 282 *Among unequals what society <br /> Can sort, what harmony, or true delight? **Line 383 [[File:Angel of the Divine Presence Bringing Eve to Adam (The Creation of Eve- "And She Shall be Called Woman) (recto); Sketch for the same (verso) MET DP805381.jpg|thumb|Under his forming hands a creature grew,<br />Man-like, but different sex; so lovely fair,<br />That what seemed fair in all the world, seemed now<br />Mean, or in her summed up, in her contained<br />And in her looks; . . .<br />Grace was in all her steps, heaven in her eye, <br /> In every gesture dignity and love.]] * Under his forming hands a creature grew,<br />Man-like, but different sex; so lovely fair,<br />That what seemed fair in all the world, seemed now<br />Mean, or in her summed up, in her contained<br />And in her looks; which from that time infused<br />Sweetness into my heart, unfelt before,<br />And into all things from her air inspired<br />The spirit of love and amorous delight. ** Lines 470–477 * '''Grace was in all her steps, heaven in her eye, <br /> In every gesture dignity and love.''' ** Lines 488–489 * Her virtue and the conscience of her worth, <br /> That would be wooed, and not unsought be won. ** Lines 502-503 *She what was honour knew, <br /> And with obsequious majesty approv'd <br /> My pleaded reason. To the nuptial bower <br /> I led her blushing like the morn; all heaven <br /> And happy constellations on that hour <br /> Shed their selectest influence; the earth <br /> Gave sign of gratulation, and each hill; <br /> Joyous the birds; fresh gales and gentle airs <br /> Whisper'd it to the woods, and from their wings <br /> Flung rose, flung odours from the spicy shrub. **Line 508 *The sum of earthly bliss. **Line 522 [[File:The First Awakening of Eve by Valentine Cameron Prinsep.jpg|thumb|So absolute she seems <br /> And in herself complete, so well to know <br /> Her own, that what she wills to do or say, <br /> Seems wisest, virtuousest, discreetest, best.]] * So absolute she seems <br /> And in herself complete, so well to know <br /> Her own, that what she wills to do or say, <br /> Seems wisest, virtuousest, discreetest, best. ** Lines 547–550 * Accuse not Nature: she hath done her part; <br /> Do thou but thine. ** Lines 561-62 * Ofttimes nothing profits more <br /> Than self-esteem, grounded on just and right <br /> Well managed. ** Lines 571-573. Compare: "But most of all respect thyself", a precept of the [[w:Pythagoreanism|Pythagoreans]], attributed to [[Pythagoras]]. *Those graceful acts, <br /> Those thousand decencies that daily flow <br /> From all her words and actions. **Line 610 *With a smile that glow'd <br /> Celestial rosy red, love's proper hue. **Line 618 == Book IX == *My unpremeditated verse. **Line 24 *Pleas'd me, long choosing and beginning late. **Line 26 *Not [[wikt:sedulous|sedulous]] by Nature to [[wikt:indite|indite]] <br /> Warrs, hitherto the onely Argument <br /> Heroic deem'd, chief [[wikt:maistrie|maistrie]] to dissect <br /> With long and tedious havoc fabl'd Knights <br /> In Battels feign'd; the better fortitude <br /> Of Patience and Heroic Martyrdom <br /> Unsung **Lines 27-33 *Unless an age too late, or cold <br /> Climate, or years, damp my intended wing. **Line 44 * The serpent subtlest beast of all the field. ** Line 86 * Revenge, at first though sweet, <br /> Bitter ere long back on itself recoils. ** Lines 171-72 *The work under our labour grows, <br /> Luxurious by restraint. **Line 208 *Smiles from reason flow, <br /> To brute deny'd, and are of love the food. **Line 239 * For solitude sometimes is best society, <br /> And short retirement urges sweet return. ** Lines 249-250 *At shut of evening flowers. **Line 278 * Go in thy native innocence, rely <br /> On what thou hast of virtue; summon all! <br /> For God towards thee hath done his part, do thine. ** Lines 373–375 *As one who long in populous city pent, <br /> Where houses thick and sewers annoy the air. **Line 445 *So gloz'd the tempter. **Line 549 *Hope elevates, and joy <br /> Brightens his crest. **Line 633 * God so commanded, and left that command <br /> Sole daughter of his voice; the rest, we live <br /> Law to ourselves, our reason is our law. ** Lines 652-654. Compare: "Stern daughter of the voice of God", [[William Wordsworth]], ''Ode to Duty'' [[File:William Blake - The Temptation and Fall of Eve (Illustration to Milton's "Paradise Lost") - Google Art Project.jpg|thumb|Earth felt the wound, and Nature from her seat, <br /> Sighing through all her works, gave signs of woe <br /> That all was lost.]] * Her rash hand in evil hour <br /> Forth reaching to the fruit, she plucked, she eat: <br /> Earth felt the wound, and Nature from her seat, <br /> Sighing through all her works, gave signs of woe <br /> That all was lost. ** Lines 780–784 * So dear I love him, that with him all deaths <br /> I could endure, without him live no life. ** Lines 832-833 * In her face excuse <br /> Came prologue, and apology too prompt. ** Line 853-854 * O fairest of creation! last and best <br /> Of all God's works! creature in whom excelled <br /> Whatever can to sight or thought be formed, <br /> Holy, divine, good, amiable, or sweet! <br /> How art thou lost, how on a sudden lost, <br /> Defaced, deflowered, and now to Death devote? ** Lines 896-901 * I feel <br /> The link of nature draw me: flesh of flesh, <br /> Bone of my bone thou art, and from thy state <br /> Mine never shall be parted, bliss or woe. ** Lines 913-916 * Our state cannot be severed; we are one, <br /> One flesh; to lose thee were to lose myself. ** Lines 958-959 *A pillar'd shade <br /> High overarch'd, and echoing walks between. **Line 1106 * Thus it shall befall<br />Him who, to worth in women overtrusting,<br />Lets her will rule; restraint she will not brook,<br />And, left to herself, if evil thence ensue,<br />She first his weak indulgence will accuse. ** Lines 1182–1186 == Book X == * I shall temper so <br /> Justice with mercy. ** Lines 77-78 *So scented the grim Feature, and upturn'd <br /> His nostril wide into the murky air, <br /> Sagacious of his quarry from so far. **Line 279 * Pandemonium, city and proud seat <br /> Of Lucifer. ** Lines 424-425 * A dismal universal hiss, the sound <br /> Of public scorn. ** Lines 508-509 * Death...on his pale horse. ** Line 588 [[File:William Blake 008.jpg|thumb|Did I request thee, Maker, from my clay <br /> To mould Me man? Did I solicit thee <br /> From darkness to promote me?]] * Did I request thee, Maker, from my clay <br /> To mould Me man? Did I solicit thee <br /> From darkness to promote me? ** Lines 743-745; spoken by Adam *How gladly would I meet <br /> Mortality my sentence, and be earth <br /> Insensible! how glad would lay me down <br /> As in my mother's lap! **Line 775 == Book XI == *Must I thus leave thee, Paradise?—thus leave <br /> Thee, native soil, these happy walks and shades? **Line 269 *Then purg'd with euphrasy and rue <br /> The visual nerve, for he had much to see. **Line 414 *Moping melancholy <br /> And moon-struck madness. **Line 485 *And over them triumphant Death his dart <br /> Shook, but delay'd to strike, though oft invok'd. **Line 491 *So may'st thou live, till like ripe fruit thou drop <br /> Into thy mother's lap. **Line 535 * '''Nor love thy life, nor hate; but what thou liv'st <br /> Live well; how long or short permit to Heaven.''' ** Lines 553-554; compare: "''Summum nec metuas diem, nec optes''" (Translated: "Neither fear nor wish for your last day"), [[Martial]], lib. x. epigram 47, line 13 *A bevy of fair women. **Line 582 * The evening star, <br /> Love's harbinger. ** Lines 588-589 *The brazen throat of war. **Line 713 * For now I see <br /> Peace to corrupt no less than war to waste. ** Line 783-784 == Book XII == [[File:James Jacques Joseph Tissot - Adam and Eve Driven From Paradise - Google Art Project.jpg|thumb|Some natural tears they dropped, but wiped them soon;<br />The world was all before them, where to choose<br />Their place of rest, and Providence their guide.<br />They, hand in hand, with wandering steps and slow,<br />Through Eden took their solitary way.]] * In me is no delay; with thee to go, <br /> Is to stay here; without thee here to stay, <br /> Is to go hence unwilling; thou to me <br /> Art all things under heaven, all places thou, <br /> Who for my willful crime art banished hence. ** Lines 615-619 * Henceforth I learn that to obey is best,<br />And love with fear the only God; to walk<br />As in his presence; ever to observe<br />His providence; and on him sole depend,<br />Merciful over all his works; with good<br />Still overcoming evil. ** Lines 561–566 *Some natural tears they dropp'd, but wip'd them soon; <br /> The world was all before them, where to choose <br /> Their place of rest, and Providence their guide: <br /> They hand in hand with wand'ring steps and slow <br /> Through Eden took their solitary way. ** Lines 645-649 == Quotes about ''Paradise Lost'' == [[File:Portrait of Samuel Johnson ("Blinking Sam").jpg|thumb|The characteristic quality of [Milton's] poem is sublimity. He sometimes descends to the elegant, but his element is the great. He can occasionally invest himself with grace; but his natural port is gigantic loftiness. He can please when pleasure is required; but it is his peculiar power to astonish. —[[Samuel Johnson]]]] :<small>Sorted alphabetically by author or source</small> * The most important work of Milton is ''Paradise Lost''; his best work is [[w:Lycidas|''Lycidas'']]. ** [[G. K. Chesterton]], [https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=uc2.ark:/13960/t1jh3p35c;view=1up;seq=210 ''George Bernard Shaw''] (1909), p. 204 * A poem which, considered with respect to design, may claim the first place, and with respect to performance the second, among the productions of the human mind. ** [[Samuel Johnson]], "The Life of Milton" in ''Lives of the English Poets'' (1781) * The characteristic quality of [Milton's] poem is sublimity. He sometimes descends to the elegant, but his element is the great. He can occasionally invest himself with grace; but his natural port is gigantic loftiness. He can please when pleasure is required; but it is his peculiar power to astonish. ** [[Samuel Johnson]], "The Life of Milton" * The want of human interest is always felt. ''Paradise Lost'' is one of the books which the reader admires and lays down, and forgets to take up again. None ever wished it longer than it is. Its perusal is a duty rather than a pleasure. We read Milton for instruction, retire harassed and overburdened, and look elsewhere for recreation; we desert our master, and seek for companions. ** [[Samuel Johnson]], "The Life of Milton" *When I was seven, I had to copy, by hand, as a punishment, books one and two of Paradise Lost. By that time, I had already started to think of myself as rebellious, so of course I completely identified with Lucifer. **[[Jamaica Kincaid]], [https://theparisreview.org/interviews/7879/the-art-of-fiction-no-252-jamaica-kincaid Interview] with ''The Paris Review'' (2022) * A [[wiktionary:prerogative|prerogative]] place among the great [[wiktionary:epic|epic]]s of the [[world]] has sometimes been claimed for ''Paradise Lost'', on the ground that the [[w:Theme (narrative)|theme]] it handles is vaster and of a more universal [[w:Human interest|human interest]] than any handled by Milton's predecessors. It concerns itself with the [[fortune]]s, not of a [[city]] or an [[empire]], but of the whole human race, and with that particular event in the history of the race which has moulded all its destinies. ** [[Walter Raleigh (professor)|Walter Raleigh]], [https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=mdp.39015031297644;view=1up;seq=97 ''Milton''] (1900), p. 81 *I love ''Paradise Lost''. It's so cataclysmic. **[[Leslie Marmon Silko]], interview in ''Backtalk'' by Donna Marie Perry (1993) == External links == {{wikipedia}} {{Wikisource}} *[http://www.dartmouth.edu/~milton/reading_room/pl/book_1/index.shtml The Milton Reading Room HTML version at Dartmouth] *[https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/26 Project Gutenberg] [[Category:Epic poetry]] [[Category:Works by John Milton]] cpvup1lgm8ub9rax9enngybr5lvo2xl 3942244 3942226 2026-05-18T04:10:29Z DanielTom 608538 /* Book X */ 3942244 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} [[Image:Milton paradise.jpg|thumb|Golden days, fruitful of golden deeds, <br /> With joy and love triumphing.]] '''''[[w:Paradise Lost|Paradise Lost]]''''' ([[w:1667|1667]], [[w:1674|1674]]) is an epic poem by the 17th century English poet [[John Milton]]. The poem concerns the Christian story of the fall of Satan and his brethren and the rise of Man: the temptation of Adam and Eve by Satan and their expulsion from the Garden of Eden. <small>Note that chapter and line references correspond with the 1674 version of the text, available online [[s:Paradise Lost (1674)| here]].</small> == Book I == [[File:Michelangelo Sündenfall.jpg|thumb|Of man's first disobedience, and the fruit <br /> Of that forbidden tree whose mortal taste <br /> Brought death into the world, and all our woe, <br /> With loss of Eden, till one greater Man <br /> Restore us, and regain the blissful seat.]] * '''Of Man's first disobedience, and the fruit <br /> Of that forbidden tree whose mortal taste <br /> Brought death into the world, and all our woe, <br /> With loss of Eden, till one greater Man <br /> Restore us, and regain the blissful Seat,''' ** Lines 1-5 * Sing Heav'nly Muse, that on the secret top <br /> Of Oreb, or of Sinai, didst inspire <br /> That Shepherd, who first taught the chosen Seed, <br /> In the Beginning how the Heav'ns and Earth <br /> Rose out of Chaos: Or if Sion Hill <br /> Delight thee more, and Siloa's Brook that flow'd <br /> Fast by the Oracle of God; I thence <br /> Invoke thy aid to my adventrous Song, <br /> That with no middle flight intends to soar <br /> Above th' Aonian Mount, while it pursues <br /> Things unattempted yet in Prose or Rhime. ** Lines 6-16 * What in me is dark <br /> Illumine, what is low raise and support; <br /> That to the height of this great argument <br /> I may assert eternal Providence, <br /> And justify the ways of God to men. ** Lines 22-26. Compare: "But vindicate the ways of God to man", [[Alexander Pope]], ''[[Essay on Man]]'', epistle i. line 16 * The infernal serpent; he it was, whose guile, <br /> Stirred up with envy and revenge, deceived <br /> The mother of mankind. ** Lines 34-36 * Him the Almighty Power <br /> Hurled headlong flaming from th' ethereal sky <br /> With hideous ruin and combustion down <br /> To bottomless perdition, there to dwell <br /> In adamantine chains and penal fire, <br /> Who durst defy th' Omnipotent to arms. ** Lines 44-49 *As far as angels' ken. ** Line 59 *Yet from those flames <br /> '''No light, but rather darkness visible.''' ** Lines 62-63 * Regions of sorrow, doleful shades, where peace <br /> And rest can never dwell, hope never comes <br /> That comes at all. ** Lines 65-67 * What though the field be lost? <br /> All is not lost; th’ unconquerable will, <br /> And study of revenge, immortal hate, <br /> And courage never to submit or yield. <br /> ** Lines 105-108 * To be weak is miserable, <br /> Doing or suffering. ** Lines 157-158 *And out of good still to find means of evil. **Line 165 *Thus Satan talking to his nearest mate<br />With head uplift above the wave, and eyes<br />That sparkling blazed; his other parts besides<br />Prone on the flood, extended long and large<br />'''Lay floating many a rood, in bulk as huge<br />As whom the fables name of monstrous size,<br />Titanian, or Earth-born, that warred on Jove,<br />Briareos or Typhon, whom the den<br />By ancient Tarsus held, or that sea-beast<br />Leviathan, which God created of all his works<br />Created hugest that swim th' Ocean stream.''' **Lines 192-202 *Farewell happy fields, <br /> Where joy forever dwells: hail, horrors! **Line 249 * A mind not to be changed by place or time. <br /> '''The mind is its own place, and in itself <br /> Can make a heav'n of hell, a hell of heav'n.''' ** Lines 253-55. See also Book IV, line 75 [[File:Satan summoning his Legions, 1796-1797 by Sir Thomas Lawrence.jpg|thumb|Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heaven.]] * […] Here at least <br /> we shall be free; the Almighty hath not built <br /> Here for his envy, will not drive us hence: <br /> Here we may reign secure, and in my choice <br /> to reign is worth ambition though in Hell: <br /> '''Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heaven.''' ** Lines 258-63 ** Compare: *** With the proud disdain of a tyrant he chose to rejoice over his subjects rather than to be a subject himself. **** [[Augustine]]'', [[w:The City of God|The City of God]]'' (early 400s); Penguin Classics translation by [[w:Henry S. Bettenson|Henry S. Bettenson]]; of Satan *** Now, forasmuch as I was once an Angel of light, it was the will of Wisdom to confine me to darkness, and to create me Prince thereof; that so I, who could not obey in Heaven, must command in Hell. And, believe me, Sir, I had rather control within my dark diocese, than to reinhabit ''caelum empyreum'', and there live in subjection, under check, a slave of the Most High. **** [[w:Anthony Stafford|Anthony Stafford]], ''Niobe'' (1611); spoken by Satan *** To be in Heaven the second he disdains;<br />So now the first in Hell and flames he reigns. **** [[Phineas Fletcher]], ''Locusts'' (1627), p. 37 *** In Heaven they scorned to serve, so now in Hell they reign. **** [[Phineas Fletcher]], ''The Purple Island'' (1633), Canto VII, stanza 10 *Heard so oft <br /> In worst extremes, and on the perilous edge <br /> Of battle. **Line 275 *His spear, to equal which the tallest pine <br /> Hewn on Norwegian hills to be the mast <br /> Of some great ammiral were but a wand, <br /> He walk'd with to support uneasy steps <br /> Over the burning marle. **Line 292 *Thick as autumnal leaves that strow the brooks <br /> In Vallombrosa, where th' Etrurian shades <br /> High over-arch'd imbower. **Line 302 * Awake, arise, or be for ever fall'n. ** Line 330 *Spirits when they please <br /> Can either sex assume, or both. **Line 423 *Execute their airy purposes. **Line 430 * And, when night <br /> Darkens the streets, then wander forth the sons <br /> Of Belial, flown with insolence and wine. ** Lines 500-502 *Th' imperial ensign, which full high advanc'd <br /> Shone like a meteor, streaming to the wind. **Line 536. Compare: "Stream'd like a meteor to the troubled air", [[Thomas Gray]], ''The Bard'', i. 2, line 6. * Sonorous metal blowing martial sounds: <br /> At which the universal host up sent <br /> A shout that tore hell's concave, and beyond <br /> Frighted the reign of Chaos and old Night. ** Lines 540-543 *Anon they move <br /> In perfect phalanx, to the Dorian mood <br /> Of flutes and soft recorders. **Line 549 *His form had yet not lost <br /> All her original brightness, nor appear'd <br /> Less than archangel ruin'd, and th' excess <br /> Of glory obscur'd. **Line 591 *In dim eclipse, disastrous twilight sheds <br /> On half the nations, and with fear of change <br /> Perplexes monarchs. **Line 597 *Thrice he assay'd, and thrice in spite of scorn <br /> Tears, such as angels weep, burst forth. **Line 619 * For who can yet believe, though after loss, <br /> That all these puissant legions, whose exile <br /> Hath emptied Heaven, shall fail to re-ascend, <br /> Self-raised, and repossess their native seat? ** Lines 631-34 * '''Who overcomes <br /> By force, hath overcome but half his foe.''' ** Lines 648-49 * Mammon, the least erected spirit that fell <br /> From heaven; for ev’n in heaven his looks and thoughts <br /> Were always downward bent, admiring more <br /> The riches of heaven’s pavement, trodden gold, <br /> Than aught divine or holy else enjoy’d <br /> In vision beatific. ** Lines 679-84 * Let none admire <br /> That riches grow in hell; that soil may best <br /> Deserve the precious bane. ** Lines 690-692 *Anon out of the earth a fabric huge <br /> Rose, like an exhalation. **Line 710 * From morn <br /> To noon he fell, from noon to dewy eve, <br /> A summer's day; and with the setting sun <br /> Dropped from the zenith like a falling star. ** Lines 742-745 *Fairy elves, <br /> Whose midnight revels by a forest side <br /> Or fountain some belated peasant sees, <br /> Or dreams he sees, while overhead the moon <br /> Sits arbitress. **Line 781 == Book II == * High on a throne of royal state, which far <br /> Outshone the wealth of Ormus and of Ind, <br /> Or where the gorgeous East with richest hand <br /> Showers on her kings barbaric pearl and gold, <br /> Satan exalted sat, by merit raised <br /> To that bad eminence; and from despair <br /> Thus high uplifted beyond hope, aspires <br /> Beyond thus high, insatiate to pursue <br /> Vain war with heav'n. ** Lines 1-9 *Surer to prosper than prosperity <br /> Could have assur'd us. **Line 39 *The strongest and the fiercest spirit <br /> That fought in heaven, now fiercer by despair. **Line 44 * Rather than be less <br /> Cared not to be at all. ** Lines 47-48 * My sentence is for open War; Of Wiles, <br /> More unexpert, I boast not: them let those <br /> Contrive who need, or when they need, not now. <br /> For while they sit contriving, shall the rest, <br /> Millions that stand in Arms, and longing wait <br /> The Signal to ascend, sit ling'ring here, <br /> Heav'n's fugitives, and for their dwelling place <br /> Accept this dark opprobrious Den of shame, <br /> The Prison of his Tyranny who Reigns <br /> By our delay? no, let us rather choose, <br /> Arm'd with Hell flames and fury all at once <br /> O'er Heaven's high Tow'rs to force resistless way, <br /> Turning our Tortures into horrid Arms <br /> Against the Torturer. ** Lines 51-64 *That in our proper motion we ascend <br /> Up to our native seat: descent and fall <br /> To us is adverse. **Line 75 *When the scourge <br /> Inexorable and the torturing hour <br /> Call us to penance. **Line 90 *Which, if not victory, is yet revenge. **Line 105 *But all was false and hollow; though his tongue <br /> Dropp'd manna, and could make the worse appear <br /> The better reason, to perplex and dash <br /> Maturest counsels. ** Lines 112-114. Compare: "Aristophanes turns Socrates into ridicule…as making the worse appear the better reason", [[Diogenes Laërtius]], Socrates, v *Th' ethereal mould <br /> Incapable of stain would soon expel <br /> Her mischief, and purge off the baser fire, <br /> Victorious. Thus repulsed, our final hope <br /> Is flat despair: we must exasperate <br /> Th' Almighty Victor to spend all his rage; <br /> And that must end us; that must be our cure-- <br /> To be no more. Sad cure! for who would lose, <br /> Though full of pain, this intellectual being, <br /> Those thoughts that wander through eternity, <br /> To perish rather, swallowed up and lost <br /> In the wide womb of uncreated Night, <br /> Devoid of sense and motion? ** Lines 142-51. Compare: "Our hope is loss, our hope but sad despair", [[William Shakespeare]], Henry VI. part iii. act ii, scene. 3 *His red right hand. **Line 174; compare: "''Rubente dextera''", [[Horace]], Ode i, 2, 2 *Unrespited, unpitied, unrepriev'd. **Line 185 *The never-ending flight <br /> Of future days. **Line 221 * Thus Belial with words clothed in reason's garb <br /> Counseled ignoble ease, and peaceful sloth, <br /> Not peace. ** Lines 226-228 *Our torments also may in length of time <br /> Become our elements. **Line 274 * With grave <br /> Aspect he rose, and in his rising seemed <br /> A pillar of state; deep on his front engraven <br /> Deliberation sat and public care; <br /> And princely counsel in his face yet shone, <br /> Majestic though in ruin: sage he stood, <br /> With Atlantean shoulders, fit to bear <br /> The weight of mightiest monarchies; his look <br /> Drew audience and attention still as night <br /> Or summer's noontide air. ** Lines 300-305 * To sit in darkness here <br /> Hatching vain empires. ** Lines 377-378 *The palpable obscure. **Line 406 * '''Long is the way <br /> And hard, that out of Hell leads up to Light.''' ** Lines 432-33. *** Compare: "'[...]facilis descensus Averno: noctes atque dies patet atri ianua Ditis; sed revocare gradum superasque evadere ad auras, hoc opus, hic labor est.'" [[Virgil]], ''Aeneid'', vi. 126. ("The gates of hell are open night and day; Smooth the descent, and easy is the way: But to return, and view the cheerful skies, In this the task and mighty labor lies." —[[Dryden]].) * Their rising all at once was as the sound <br /> Of thunder heard remote. ** Lines 476-477 *The low'ring element <br /> Scowls o'er the darken'd landscape. **Line 490 *Oh, shame to men! devil with devil damn'd <br /> Firm concord holds, men only disagree <br /> Of creatures rational. **Line 496 *In discourse more sweet; <br /> For eloquence the soul, song charms the sense. <br /> Others apart sat on a hill retired, <br /> In thoughts more elevate, and reasoned high <br /> Of Providence, foreknowledge, will, and fate, <br /> Fixed fate, free will, foreknowledge absolute, <br /> And found no end, in wand'ring mazes lost. ** Lines 555-561 *Vain wisdom all and false philosophy. **Line 565 *Arm th' obdur'd breast <br /> With stubborn patience as with triple steel. **Line 568 *A gulf profound as that Serbonian bog <br /> Betwixt Damiata and Mount Casius old, <br /> Where armies whole have sunk: the parching air <br /> Burns frore, and cold performs th' effect of fire. <br /> Thither by harpy-footed Furies hal'd, <br /> At certain revolutions all the damn'd <br /> Are brought, and feel by turns the bitter change <br /> Of fierce extremes,—extremes by change more fierce; <br /> From beds of raging fire to starve in ice <br /> Their soft ethereal warmth, and there to pine <br /> Immovable, infix'd, and frozen round, <br /> Periods of time; thence hurried back to fire. **Lines 597-603 *O'er many a frozen, many a fiery Alp, <br /> Rocks, caves, lakes, fens, bogs, dens, and shades of death. **Line 620 *Gorgons and Hydras and Chimæras dire. **Line 628 *The other shape, <br /> If shape it might be call'd that shape had none <br /> Distinguishable in member, joint, or limb; <br /> Or substance might be call'd that shadow seem'd, <br /> For each seem'd either,—black it stood as night, <br /> Fierce as ten furies, terrible as hell, <br /> And shook a dreadful dart; what seem'd his head <br /> The likeness of a kingly crown had on. <br /> Satan was now at hand. **Line 666 *Whence and what art thou, execrable shape? **Line 681 *Back to thy punishment, <br /> False fugitive, and to thy speed add wings. **Line 699 *So spake the grisly Terror. **Line 704 [[Image:William Blake - Paradise Lost - Satan, Sin, and Death - Satan Comes to the Gates of Hell.jpg|thumb|Incensed with indignation Satan stood <br /> Unterrified, and like a comet burned <br /> That fires the length of [[W:Ophiuchus|Ophiuchus]] huge <br /> In the arctic sky, and from his horrid hair <br /> Shakes pestilence and war.]] *Incens'd with indignation Satan stood <br /> Unterrify'd, and like a comet burn'd <br /> That fires the length of Ophiuchus huge <br /> In th' arctic sky, and from his horrid hair <br /> Shakes pestilence and war. **Line 707 *Their fatal hands <br /> No second stroke intend. **Line 712 *Hell <br /> Grew darker at their frown. **Line 719 *I fled, and cry'd out, DEATH! <br /> Hell trembled at the hideous name, and sigh'd <br /> From all her caves, and back resounded, DEATH! **Line 787 * Before mine eyes in opposition sits <br /> Grim Death, my son and foe. ** Lines 803-804 *Death <br /> Grinn'd horrible a ghastly smile, to hear <br /> His famine should be fill'd. **Line 845 *On a sudden open fly, <br /> With impetuous recoil and jarring sound, <br /> Th' infernal doors, and on their hinges grate <br /> Harsh thunder. **Line 879 *Where eldest Night <br /> And Chaos, ancestors of Nature, hold <br /> Eternal anarchy amidst the noise <br /> Of endless wars, and by confusion stand; <br /> For hot, cold, moist, and dry, four champions fierce, <br /> Strive here for mast'ry. ** Lines 894-899 * Into this wilde Abyss, <br /> The Womb of nature and perhaps her Grave, <br /> Of neither Sea, nor Shore, nor Air, nor Fire, <br /> But all these in thir pregnant causes mixt <br /> Confus'dly, and which thus must ever fight, <br /> Unless th' Almighty Maker them ordain <br /> His dark materials to create more Worlds, <br /> Into this wilde Abyss the warie fiend <br /> Stood on the brink of Hell and look'd a while, <br /> Pondering his Voyage. ** Lines 910-919 *To compare <br /> Great things with small. **Line 921; compare: "Compare great things with small", [[Virgil]], ''Eclogues'', i. 24; ''Georgics'', iv. 176; [[Abraham Cowley]], ''The Motto''; [[John Dryden]], ''Ovid, Metamorphoses'', book i. line 727; [[Thomas Tickell]], ''Poem on Hunting''; [[Alexander Pope]], ''Windsor Forest''. *O'er bog or steep, through strait, rough, dense, or rare, <br /> With head, hands, wings, or feet, pursues his way, <br /> And swims or sinks, or wades, or creeps, or flies. **Line 948 * With ruin upon ruin, rout on rout, <br /> Confusion worse confounded. ** Lines 995-996 *So he with difficulty and labour hard <br /> Mov'd on, with difficulty and labour he. **Line 1021 *And fast by, hanging in a golden chain, <br /> This pendent world, in bigness as a star <br /> Of smallest magnitude, close by the moon. **Line 1051 == Book III == * Hail, holy light! offspring of heav'n first born. ** Line 1 *The rising world of waters dark and deep. **Line 11 *Thoughts that voluntary move <br /> Harmonious numbers. **Line 37 * Thus with the year <br /> Seasons return; but not to me returns <br /> Day, or the sweet approach of ev'n or morn, <br /> Or sight of vernal bloom, or summer's rose, <br /> Or flocks, or herds, or human face divine; <br /> But cloud instead, and ever-during dark <br /> Surrounds me, from the cheerful ways of men <br /> Cut off, and for the book of knowledge fair <br /> Presented with a universal blank <br /> Of Nature's works to me expunged and razed, <br /> And wisdom at one entrance quite shut out. ** Lines 40-50 * I made him just and right, <br /> Sufficient to have stood, though free to fall. ** Lines 98-99 * Golden days, fruitful of golden deeds, <br /> With joy and love triumphing. **Line 337 *Dark with excessive bright. **Line 380 *Embryos and idiots, eremites and friars, <br /> White, black, and gray, with all their trumpery. **Line 474 *Into a limbo large and broad, since call'd <br /> The Paradise of Fools, to few unknown. **Lines 495-496 *Neither man nor angel can discern <br /> Hypocrisy, the only evil that walks <br /> Invisible *Lines 682-684 *And oft, though wisdom wake, suspicion sleeps <br /> At wisdom's gate, and to simplicity <br /> Resigns her charge, while goodness thinks no ill <br /> Where no ill seems. **Line 686 == Book IV == *'''''Satan'', now first inflam’d with rage, came down''', <br /> The Tempter ere th’ Accuser of man-kind, <br /> To wreck on innocent frail man his loss <br /> Of that first Battel, and his flight to Hell: <br /> Yet not rejoycing in his speed, though bold, <br /> Far off and fearless, nor with cause to boast, <br /> Begins his dire attempt, which nigh the birth <br /> Now rowling, boiles in his tumultuous brest, <br /> And like a devillish Engine back recoiles <br /> Upon himself; horror and doubt distract <br /> His troubl’d thoughts, and from the bottom stirr <br /> The Hell within him, for within him Hell <br /> He brings, and round about him, nor from Hell <br /> One step no more then from himself can fly <br /> By change of place: '''Now conscience wakes despair <br /> That slumberd, wakes the bitter memorie <br /> Of what he was, what is, and what must be <br /> Worse; of worse deeds worse sufferings must ensue.''' **Lines 8 - 23 *At whose sight all the stars <br /> Hide their diminish'd heads. **Line 34; compare: "Ye little stars! hide our diminished rays", [[Alexander Pope]], Moral Essays, Epistle iii, line 282. *A grateful mind <br /> By owing owes not, but still pays, at once <br /> Indebted and discharg'd. **Line 55 * '''Me miserable! which way shall I fly <br /> Infinite wrath and infinite despair? <br /> Which way I fly is hell; myself am hell'''; <br /> And in the lowest deep a lower deep, <br /> Still threat’ning to devour me, opens wide, <br /> To which the hell I suffer seems a heaven. ** Lines 73-78 [[File:Martin, John - Satan presiding at the Infernal Council - 1824.JPG|thumb|Under what [[torments]] inwardly I groan, <br /> While they [[adore]] me on the [[throne]] of [[Hell]]! <br /> With [[Crown|diadem]] and scepter high advanced <br /> The lower still I fall, only supreme <br /> In [[misery]]: such [[joy]] [[ambition]] finds!]] * '''Under what [[torments]] inwardly I groane; <br /> While they [[adore]] me on the [[Throne]] of [[Hell]], <br /> With [[Crown|Diadem]] and Scepter high advanc’d <br /> The lower still I fall, onely Supream <br /> In [[Misery|miserie]]; such [[joy]] [[Ambition]] findes.''' <br /> But say I could [[repent]] and could obtaine <br /> By [[Act]] of [[Grace]] my former state; how soon <br /> Would highth recal high [[thoughts]], how soon unsay <br /> What feign’d [[submission]] swore: ease would recant <br /> [[Vows]] made in [[pain]], as [[violent]] and void. <br /> For never can true [[Reconciliation|reconcilement]] [[grow]] <br /> Where [[wounds]] of [[deadly]] [[hate]] have peirc’d so deep: <br /> Which would but lead me to a worse relapse <br /> And heavier fall: so should I [[purchase]] deare <br /> Short intermission bought with double smart. <br /> This knows my punisher; therefore as farr <br /> From granting hee, as I from [[begging]] [[peace]]: <br /> All [[hope]] excluded thus, behold in stead <br /> Of us out-cast, [[Exile|exil'd]], his new [[delight]], <br /> [[Mankind]] [[created]], and for him this [[World]]. **Lines 88 - 107 * '''So farewel Hope, and with Hope farewel Fear, <br /> Farewel Remorse: all Good to me is lost;<br /> Evil be thou my Good'''; by thee at least<br /> Divided Empire with Heav'ns King I hold<br /> By thee, and more then half perhaps will reigne;<br /> As Man ere long, and this new World shall know. ** Lines 108-113 *That practis'd falsehood under saintly shew, <br /> Deep malice to conceal, couch'd with revenge. **Line 122 *Sabean odours from the spicy shore <br /> Of Araby the Blest. **Line 162 * And on the Tree of Life, <br /> The middle tree and highest there that grew, <br /> Sat like a cormorant. ** Lines 194-196 *A heaven on earth. **Line 208 *Flowers worthy of paradise. **Line 241 *Flowers of all hue, and without thorn the rose. **Line 256. Compare: "But ne'er the rose without the thorn", [[Robert Herrick]], ''The Rose'' *Proserpine gathering flowers, <br /> Herself a fairer flower. **Line 269 * Two of far nobler shape erect and tall, <br /> Godlike erect, with native honor clad <br /> In naked majesty seemed lords of all. ** Lines 288-290 * For contemplation he and valor formed, <br /> For softness she and sweet attractive grace; <br /> He for God only, she for God in him. <br /> His fair large front and eye sublime declar'd <br /> Absolute rule; and hyacinthine locks <br /> Round from his parted forelock manly hung <br /> Clustering, but not beneath his shoulders broad. ** Lines 297-303 * Implied <br /> Subjection, but required with gentle sway, <br /> And by her yielded, by him best received, <br /> Yielded with coy submission, modest pride, <br /> And sweet reluctant amorous delay. ** Lines 307-311 * Adam the goodliest man of men since born <br /> His sons, the fairest of her daughters Eve. ** Lines 323-324 * So spake the Fiend, and with necessity, <br /> The tyrant's plea, excused his devilish deeds. ** Lines 393-394. Compare: "Necessity is the argument of tyrants, it is the creed of slaves", [[William Pitt the Younger]], Speech on the India Bill, November, 1783 *As Jupiter <br /> On Juno smiles, when he impregns the clouds <br /> That shed May flowers. **Line 499 *Imparadis'd in one another's arms. **Line 506 *Live while ye may, <br /> Yet happy pair. **Line 533 * Knowledge forbidd'n? <br /> Suspicious, reasonless. Why should thir Lord <br /> Envie them that? can it be sin to know, <br /> Can it be death? and do they onely stand <br /> By Ignorance, is that thir happie state, <br /> The proof of thir obedience and thir faith? <br /> O fair foundation laid whereon to build <br /> Thir ruine! Hence I will excite thir minds <br /> With more desire to know, and to reject <br /> Envious commands, invented with designe <br /> To keep them low whom knowledge might exalt <br /> Equal with Gods; aspiring to be such, <br /> They taste and die: what likelier can ensue? **Line 515-527 *'''Now came still evening on, and twilight gray <br /> Had in her sober livery all things clad'''; <br /> Silence accompany'd; for beast and bird, <br /> They to their grassy couch, these to their nests, <br /> Were slunk, all but the wakeful nightingale; <br /> She all night long her amorous descant sung; <br /> Silence was pleas'd. Now glow'd the firmament <br /> With living sapphires; Hesperus, that led <br /> The starry host, rode brightest, till the moon, <br /> Rising in clouded majesty, at length <br /> Apparent queen unveil'd her peerless light, <br /> And o'er the dark her silver mantle threw. **Line 598 * The wakeful nightingale, <br /> She all night long her amorous descant sung; <br /> Silence was pleased: now glowed the firmament <br /> With living sapphires: Hesperus, that led <br /> The starry host, rode brightest, till the moon, <br /> Rising in clouded majesty, at length <br /> Apparent queen unveiled her peerless light, <br /> And o'er the dark her silver mantle threw. ** Lines 602-609 *The timely dew of sleep. **Line 614 [[File:Satan watching the endearments of Adam and Eve.jpg|thumb|With thee conversing I forget all [[time]], <br /> All [[seasons]], and their [[change]]; all please alike.]] * With thee conversing I forget all [[time]], <br /> All [[seasons]], and their [[change]]; all please alike. <br /> Sweet is the breath of morn, her rising sweet, <br /> With charm of earliest birds; pleasant the sun <br /> When first on this delightful land he spreads <br /> His orient beams on herb, tree, fruit, and flower, <br /> Glist'ring with dew; fragrant the fertile earth <br /> After soft showers; and sweet the coming on <br /> Of grateful ev'ning mild; then silent night <br /> With this her solemn bird and this fair moon, <br /> And these the gems of heaven, her starry train: <br /> But neither breath of morn when she ascends <br /> With charm of earliest birds, nor rising sun <br /> On this delightful land, nor herb, fruit, flower, <br /> Glist'ring with dew, nor fragrance after showers, <br /> Nor grateful ev'ning mild, nor silent night <br /> With this her solemn bird, nor walk by moon <br /> Or glittering starlight, without thee is sweet. ** Lines 639-656 * Millions of spiritual creatures walk the earth <br /> Unseen, both when we wake, and when we sleep. ** Lines 677-678 *In naked beauty more adorn'd, <br /> More lovely than Pandora. **Line 713. Compare: "When unadorned, adorned the most", [[James Thomson]], ''Autumn'', line 204 * Eased the putting off <br /> These troublesome disguises which we wear. ** Lines 739-740 * Hail wedded love, mysterious law, true source <br /> Of human offspring. ** Lines 750-751 *Squat like a toad, close at the ear of Eve. **Line 800 *Him thus intent Ithuriel with his spear <br /> Touch'd lightly; for no falsehood can endure <br /> Touch of celestial temper. **Line 810 *Not to know me argues yourselves unknown, <br /> The lowest of your throng. **Line 830 [[File:GuidoReni MichaelDefeatsSatan.jpg|thumb|Abashed the Devil stood, <br /> And felt how awful goodness is, and saw <br /> Virtue in her shape how lovely — saw, and pined<br />His loss.]] * '''Abashed the Devil stood, <br /> And felt how awful goodness is, and saw <br /> Virtue in her shape how lovely; saw, and pined <br /> His loss.''' ** Lines 846-848 * Came not '''all hell broke loose?''' ** Line 918 *Like Teneriff or Atlas unremoved. **Line 987 *The starry cope <br /> Of heaven. **Line 992 *Fled <br /> Murmuring, and with him fled the shades of night. **Line 1014 == Book V == *Now morn, her rosy steps in th' eastern clime <br /> Advancing, sow'd the earth with orient pearl, <br /> When Adam wak'd, so custom'd; for his sleep <br /> Was aery light, from pure digestion bred. **Line 1 *Hung over her enamour'd, and beheld <br /> Beauty, which, whether waking or asleep, <br /> Shot forth peculiar graces. **Line 13 *My latest found, <br /> Heaven's last, best gift, my ever new delight! **Line 18 * '''Good, the more <br /> Communicated, more abundant grows.''' ** Lines 71-72. * These are thy glorious works, Parent of good. ** Line 153 * Him first, him last, him midst, and without end. ** Line 165 *Fairest of stars, last in the train of night, <br /> If better thou belong not to the dawn. **Line 166 * Fountains, and ye, that warble, as ye flow,<br />Melodious murmurs, warbling tune his praise. ** Line 195 *A wilderness of sweets. **Line 294 *Another morn <br /> Ris'n on mid-noon. **Line 310 * So saying, with dispatchful looks in haste <br /> She turns, on hospitable thoughts intent. ** Lines 331-332 * Nor jealousy <br /> Was understood, the injured lover's hell. ** Lines 449-450 *The bright consummate flower. **Line 481 * '''Freely we serve, <br /> Because we freely love, as in our will <br /> To love or not; in this we stand or fall.''' ** Lines 538-540 * What if earth <br /> Be but the shadow of heaven, and things therein <br /> Each to other like, more than on earth is thought? ** Lines 574-576 *Thrones, Dominations, Princedoms, Virtues, Powers. **Line 601 * All seemed well pleased, all seemed but were not all. ** Line 617 *They eat, they drink, and in communion sweet <br /> Quaff immortality and joy. **Line 637 *Satan; so call him now, his former name <br /> Is heard no more in heaven. **Line 658 *Midnight brought on the dusky hour <br /> Friendliest to sleep and silence. **Line 667 *Innumerable as the stars of night, <br /> Or stars of morning, dewdrops which the sun <br /> Impearls on every leaf and every flower. **Line 745 * Will ye submit your necks, and chuse to bend <br /> The supple knee? ye will not, if I trust <br /> To know ye right, or if ye know your selves <br /> Natives and Sons of Heav'n possest before <br /> By none, and if not equal all, yet free, <br /> Equally free; for Orders and Degrees <br /> Jarr not with liberty, but well consist. <br /> Who can in reason then or right assume <br /> Monarchie over such as live by right... ** Line 787 *So spake the seraph Abdiel, faithful found; <br /> Among the faithless, faithful only he. **Line 896-897 == Book VI == * Morn, <br /> Waked by the circling hours, with rosy hand <br /> Unbarred the gates of light. ** Lines 2-4 * Servant of God, well done, well hast thou fought <br /> The better fight, who single hast maintained <br /> Against revolted multitudes the cause <br /> Of truth, in word mightier than they in arms. ** Lines 29-32 * How few somtimes may know, when thousands err. ** Line 148 *Arms on armour clashing bray'd <br /> Horrible discord, and the madding wheels <br /> Of brazen chariots rag'd: dire was the noise <br /> Of conflict. **Line 209 *Spirits that live throughout, <br /> Vital in every part, not as frail man, <br /> In entrails, heart or head, liver or reins, <br /> Cannot but by annihilating die. **Line 345 *Far off his coming shone. **Line 768 * In heavenly spirits could such [[perverseness]] dwell? ** Line 788; compare: "Tantaene animis coelestibus irae?", [[Virgil]], ''Aeneid'', i. 16 == Book VII == * More safe I sing with mortal voice, unchanged <br /> To hoarse or mute, though fall'n, and evil tongues; <br /> In darkness, and with dangers compassed round, <br /> And solitude. ** Lines 24-28 *Still govern thou my song, <br /> Urania, and fit audience find, though few. **Line 30 * Out of one man a race <br /> Of men innumerable. ** Lines 155-156 *Heaven open'd wide <br /> Her ever during gates, harmonious sound, <br /> On golden hinges moving. **Line 205 * On heav'nly ground they stood, and from the shore<br />They view'd the vast immeasurable Abyss<br />Outrageous as a Sea, dark, wasteful, wilde,<br />Up from the bottom turn'd by furious windes<br />And surging waves, as Mountains to assault<br />Heav'ns highth, and with the Center mix the Pole.<br />"Silence, ye troubl'd waves, and thou Deep, peace!"<br />Said then th' Omnific Word, "Your discord end!"<br />Nor staid, but on the Wings of Cherubim<br />Uplifted, in Paternal Glorie rode<br />Farr into Chaos, and the World unborn;<br />For Chaos heard his voice: him all his Traine<br />Follow'd in bright procession to behold<br />Creation, and the wonders of his might.<br />Then staid the fervid Wheeles, and in his hand<br />He took the golden Compasses, prepar'd<br />In Gods Eternal store, to circumscribe<br />This Universe, and all created things:<br />One foot he center'd, and the other turn'd<br />Round through the vast profunditie obscure,<br />And said, "Thus farr extend, thus farr thy bounds,<br />This be thy just Circumference, O World!" ** Lines 210–231 *Hither, as to their fountain, other stars <br /> Repairing, in their golden urns draw light. **Line 364 * There Leviathan <br /> Hugest of living creatures, on the deep <br /> Stretched like a promontory sleeps or swims, <br /> And seems a moving land, and at his gills <br /> Draws in, and at his trunk spouts out a sea. ** Lines 412-416 *Now half appear'd <br /> The tawny lion, pawing to get free <br /> His hinder parts. **Line 463 *Indu'd <br /> With sanctity of reason. **Line 507 * The planets in their stations list'ning stood, <br /> While the bright pomp ascended jubilant. <br /> Open, ye everlasting gates, they sung, <br /> Open ye heavens, your living doors; let in <br /> The great Creator from his work returned <br /> Magnificent, his six days' work, a world. ** Line 563-568 *A broad and ample road, whose dust is gold, <br /> And pavement stars,—as stars to thee appear <br /> Seen in the galaxy, that milky way <br /> Which nightly as a circling zone thou seest <br /> Powder'd with stars. **Line 577 == Book VIII == * The angel ended, and in Adam's ear <br /> So charming left his voice that he awhile <br /> Thought him still speaking, still stood fixed to hear. ** Lines 1-3 *There swift return <br /> Diurnal, merely to officiate light <br /> Round this opacous earth, this punctual spot. **Line 21 *And grace that won who saw to wish her stay. **Line 43 *And touch'd by her fair tendance, gladlier grew. **Line 47 *With centric and eccentric scribbled o'er, <br /> Cycle and epicycle, orb in orb. **Line 83 *Her silent course advance <br /> With inoffensive pace, that spinning sleeps <br /> On her soft axle. **Line 163 *Be lowly wise: <br /> Think only what concerns thee and thy being. **Line 173 * To know <br /> That which before us lies in daily life <br /> Is the prime wisdom. ** Lines 192-194 *Liquid lapse of murmuring streams. **Line 263 *And feel that I am happier than I know. **Line 282 *Among unequals what society <br /> Can sort, what harmony, or true delight? **Line 383 [[File:Angel of the Divine Presence Bringing Eve to Adam (The Creation of Eve- "And She Shall be Called Woman) (recto); Sketch for the same (verso) MET DP805381.jpg|thumb|Under his forming hands a creature grew,<br />Man-like, but different sex; so lovely fair,<br />That what seemed fair in all the world, seemed now<br />Mean, or in her summed up, in her contained<br />And in her looks; . . .<br />Grace was in all her steps, heaven in her eye, <br /> In every gesture dignity and love.]] * Under his forming hands a creature grew,<br />Man-like, but different sex; so lovely fair,<br />That what seemed fair in all the world, seemed now<br />Mean, or in her summed up, in her contained<br />And in her looks; which from that time infused<br />Sweetness into my heart, unfelt before,<br />And into all things from her air inspired<br />The spirit of love and amorous delight. ** Lines 470–477 * '''Grace was in all her steps, heaven in her eye, <br /> In every gesture dignity and love.''' ** Lines 488–489 * Her virtue and the conscience of her worth, <br /> That would be wooed, and not unsought be won. ** Lines 502-503 *She what was honour knew, <br /> And with obsequious majesty approv'd <br /> My pleaded reason. To the nuptial bower <br /> I led her blushing like the morn; all heaven <br /> And happy constellations on that hour <br /> Shed their selectest influence; the earth <br /> Gave sign of gratulation, and each hill; <br /> Joyous the birds; fresh gales and gentle airs <br /> Whisper'd it to the woods, and from their wings <br /> Flung rose, flung odours from the spicy shrub. **Line 508 *The sum of earthly bliss. **Line 522 [[File:The First Awakening of Eve by Valentine Cameron Prinsep.jpg|thumb|So absolute she seems <br /> And in herself complete, so well to know <br /> Her own, that what she wills to do or say, <br /> Seems wisest, virtuousest, discreetest, best.]] * So absolute she seems <br /> And in herself complete, so well to know <br /> Her own, that what she wills to do or say, <br /> Seems wisest, virtuousest, discreetest, best. ** Lines 547–550 * Accuse not Nature: she hath done her part; <br /> Do thou but thine. ** Lines 561-62 * Ofttimes nothing profits more <br /> Than self-esteem, grounded on just and right <br /> Well managed. ** Lines 571-573. Compare: "But most of all respect thyself", a precept of the [[w:Pythagoreanism|Pythagoreans]], attributed to [[Pythagoras]]. *Those graceful acts, <br /> Those thousand decencies that daily flow <br /> From all her words and actions. **Line 610 *With a smile that glow'd <br /> Celestial rosy red, love's proper hue. **Line 618 == Book IX == *My unpremeditated verse. **Line 24 *Pleas'd me, long choosing and beginning late. **Line 26 *Not [[wikt:sedulous|sedulous]] by Nature to [[wikt:indite|indite]] <br /> Warrs, hitherto the onely Argument <br /> Heroic deem'd, chief [[wikt:maistrie|maistrie]] to dissect <br /> With long and tedious havoc fabl'd Knights <br /> In Battels feign'd; the better fortitude <br /> Of Patience and Heroic Martyrdom <br /> Unsung **Lines 27-33 *Unless an age too late, or cold <br /> Climate, or years, damp my intended wing. **Line 44 * The serpent subtlest beast of all the field. ** Line 86 * Revenge, at first though sweet, <br /> Bitter ere long back on itself recoils. ** Lines 171-72 *The work under our labour grows, <br /> Luxurious by restraint. **Line 208 *Smiles from reason flow, <br /> To brute deny'd, and are of love the food. **Line 239 * For solitude sometimes is best society, <br /> And short retirement urges sweet return. ** Lines 249-250 *At shut of evening flowers. **Line 278 * Go in thy native innocence, rely <br /> On what thou hast of virtue; summon all! <br /> For God towards thee hath done his part, do thine. ** Lines 373–375 *As one who long in populous city pent, <br /> Where houses thick and sewers annoy the air. **Line 445 *So gloz'd the tempter. **Line 549 *Hope elevates, and joy <br /> Brightens his crest. **Line 633 * God so commanded, and left that command <br /> Sole daughter of his voice; the rest, we live <br /> Law to ourselves, our reason is our law. ** Lines 652-654. Compare: "Stern daughter of the voice of God", [[William Wordsworth]], ''Ode to Duty'' [[File:William Blake - The Temptation and Fall of Eve (Illustration to Milton's "Paradise Lost") - Google Art Project.jpg|thumb|Earth felt the wound, and Nature from her seat, <br /> Sighing through all her works, gave signs of woe <br /> That all was lost.]] * Her rash hand in evil hour <br /> Forth reaching to the fruit, she plucked, she eat: <br /> Earth felt the wound, and Nature from her seat, <br /> Sighing through all her works, gave signs of woe <br /> That all was lost. ** Lines 780–784 * So dear I love him, that with him all deaths <br /> I could endure, without him live no life. ** Lines 832-833 * In her face excuse <br /> Came prologue, and apology too prompt. ** Line 853-854 * O fairest of creation! last and best <br /> Of all God's works! creature in whom excelled <br /> Whatever can to sight or thought be formed, <br /> Holy, divine, good, amiable, or sweet! <br /> How art thou lost, how on a sudden lost, <br /> Defaced, deflowered, and now to Death devote? ** Lines 896-901 * I feel <br /> The link of nature draw me: flesh of flesh, <br /> Bone of my bone thou art, and from thy state <br /> Mine never shall be parted, bliss or woe. ** Lines 913-916 * Our state cannot be severed; we are one, <br /> One flesh; to lose thee were to lose myself. ** Lines 958-959 *A pillar'd shade <br /> High overarch'd, and echoing walks between. **Line 1106 * Thus it shall befall<br />Him who, to worth in women overtrusting,<br />Lets her will rule; restraint she will not brook,<br />And, left to herself, if evil thence ensue,<br />She first his weak indulgence will accuse. ** Lines 1182–1186 == Book X == * I shall temper so <br /> Justice with mercy. ** Lines 77-78 *So scented the grim Feature, and upturn'd <br /> His nostril wide into the murky air, <br /> Sagacious of his quarry from so far. **Line 279 * Pandemonium, city and proud seat <br /> Of Lucifer. ** Lines 424-425 * A dismal universal hiss, the sound <br /> Of public scorn. ** Lines 508-509 * Death...on his pale horse. ** Line 588 [[File:William Blake 008.jpg|thumb|Did I request thee, Maker, from my clay <br /> To mould me man? Did I solicit thee <br /> From darkness to promote me?]] * Did I request thee, Maker, from my clay <br /> To mould me Man? Did I solicit thee <br /> From darkness to promote me? ** Lines 743-745; spoken by Adam *How gladly would I meet <br /> Mortality my sentence, and be earth <br /> Insensible! how glad would lay me down <br /> As in my mother's lap! **Line 775 == Book XI == *Must I thus leave thee, Paradise?—thus leave <br /> Thee, native soil, these happy walks and shades? **Line 269 *Then purg'd with euphrasy and rue <br /> The visual nerve, for he had much to see. **Line 414 *Moping melancholy <br /> And moon-struck madness. **Line 485 *And over them triumphant Death his dart <br /> Shook, but delay'd to strike, though oft invok'd. **Line 491 *So may'st thou live, till like ripe fruit thou drop <br /> Into thy mother's lap. **Line 535 * '''Nor love thy life, nor hate; but what thou liv'st <br /> Live well; how long or short permit to Heaven.''' ** Lines 553-554; compare: "''Summum nec metuas diem, nec optes''" (Translated: "Neither fear nor wish for your last day"), [[Martial]], lib. x. epigram 47, line 13 *A bevy of fair women. **Line 582 * The evening star, <br /> Love's harbinger. ** Lines 588-589 *The brazen throat of war. **Line 713 * For now I see <br /> Peace to corrupt no less than war to waste. ** Line 783-784 == Book XII == [[File:James Jacques Joseph Tissot - Adam and Eve Driven From Paradise - Google Art Project.jpg|thumb|Some natural tears they dropped, but wiped them soon;<br />The world was all before them, where to choose<br />Their place of rest, and Providence their guide.<br />They, hand in hand, with wandering steps and slow,<br />Through Eden took their solitary way.]] * In me is no delay; with thee to go, <br /> Is to stay here; without thee here to stay, <br /> Is to go hence unwilling; thou to me <br /> Art all things under heaven, all places thou, <br /> Who for my willful crime art banished hence. ** Lines 615-619 * Henceforth I learn that to obey is best,<br />And love with fear the only God; to walk<br />As in his presence; ever to observe<br />His providence; and on him sole depend,<br />Merciful over all his works; with good<br />Still overcoming evil. ** Lines 561–566 *Some natural tears they dropp'd, but wip'd them soon; <br /> The world was all before them, where to choose <br /> Their place of rest, and Providence their guide: <br /> They hand in hand with wand'ring steps and slow <br /> Through Eden took their solitary way. ** Lines 645-649 == Quotes about ''Paradise Lost'' == [[File:Portrait of Samuel Johnson ("Blinking Sam").jpg|thumb|The characteristic quality of [Milton's] poem is sublimity. He sometimes descends to the elegant, but his element is the great. He can occasionally invest himself with grace; but his natural port is gigantic loftiness. He can please when pleasure is required; but it is his peculiar power to astonish. —[[Samuel Johnson]]]] :<small>Sorted alphabetically by author or source</small> * The most important work of Milton is ''Paradise Lost''; his best work is [[w:Lycidas|''Lycidas'']]. ** [[G. K. Chesterton]], [https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=uc2.ark:/13960/t1jh3p35c;view=1up;seq=210 ''George Bernard Shaw''] (1909), p. 204 * A poem which, considered with respect to design, may claim the first place, and with respect to performance the second, among the productions of the human mind. ** [[Samuel Johnson]], "The Life of Milton" in ''Lives of the English Poets'' (1781) * The characteristic quality of [Milton's] poem is sublimity. He sometimes descends to the elegant, but his element is the great. He can occasionally invest himself with grace; but his natural port is gigantic loftiness. He can please when pleasure is required; but it is his peculiar power to astonish. ** [[Samuel Johnson]], "The Life of Milton" * The want of human interest is always felt. ''Paradise Lost'' is one of the books which the reader admires and lays down, and forgets to take up again. None ever wished it longer than it is. Its perusal is a duty rather than a pleasure. We read Milton for instruction, retire harassed and overburdened, and look elsewhere for recreation; we desert our master, and seek for companions. ** [[Samuel Johnson]], "The Life of Milton" *When I was seven, I had to copy, by hand, as a punishment, books one and two of Paradise Lost. By that time, I had already started to think of myself as rebellious, so of course I completely identified with Lucifer. **[[Jamaica Kincaid]], [https://theparisreview.org/interviews/7879/the-art-of-fiction-no-252-jamaica-kincaid Interview] with ''The Paris Review'' (2022) * A [[wiktionary:prerogative|prerogative]] place among the great [[wiktionary:epic|epic]]s of the [[world]] has sometimes been claimed for ''Paradise Lost'', on the ground that the [[w:Theme (narrative)|theme]] it handles is vaster and of a more universal [[w:Human interest|human interest]] than any handled by Milton's predecessors. It concerns itself with the [[fortune]]s, not of a [[city]] or an [[empire]], but of the whole human race, and with that particular event in the history of the race which has moulded all its destinies. ** [[Walter Raleigh (professor)|Walter Raleigh]], [https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=mdp.39015031297644;view=1up;seq=97 ''Milton''] (1900), p. 81 *I love ''Paradise Lost''. It's so cataclysmic. **[[Leslie Marmon Silko]], interview in ''Backtalk'' by Donna Marie Perry (1993) == External links == {{wikipedia}} {{Wikisource}} *[http://www.dartmouth.edu/~milton/reading_room/pl/book_1/index.shtml The Milton Reading Room HTML version at Dartmouth] *[https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/26 Project Gutenberg] [[Category:Epic poetry]] [[Category:Works by John Milton]] c0pfnbnnom4fsjn66i4pv1onv9vc9r2 0 1658 3942210 3941532 2026-05-17T23:10:15Z ~2026-23302-71 3311283 3942210 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} [[File:Shrek logo.jpg|thumb]] '''''[[w:Shrek|Shrek]]''''' is a [[w:2001 in film|2001 American]] [[w:animated film|animated film]] about an ogre who, in order to regain his swamp, travels along with a donkey in order to bring a princess to a scheming lord who wishes come King. :''Directed by [[w:Andrew Adamson|Andrew Adamson]] and [[Vicky Jenson]]. Written by [[w:Ted Elliott (screenwriter)|Ted Elliott]], [[w:Terry Rossio|Terry Rossio]], [[w:Joe Stillman|Joe Stillman]] and [[w:Roger S. H. Schulman|Roger S. H. Schulman]], based on the [[w:Shrek!|book of the same name]] by [[w:William Steig|William Steig]].'' :''Music by [[Harry Gregson-Williams]] and [[John Powell]].'' {{center|'''The greatest fairy tale never told.''' <small>([[#Taglines|taglines]])</small>}} ==Shrek== * ''[whispers]'' This is the part where you run away. * No! I'm an ogre. You know. "Grab your torch and pitchforks." * What are you doing in my swamp?! ''[echoes]'' * All right. Who knows where this Farquaad guy is? * It’s quiet. Too quiet. Where is everybody? * All right, you're going the right way for a smacked bottom. * Thank you! Thank you very much! I'm here 'til Thursday. Try the veal! * You know what? Maybe there’s a good reason donkeys shouldn’t talk. * Okay, uh, ogres are like onions. * Ogres are like onions! End of story! Bye-Bye! ''[whispers]'' See you later. * Well, at least we know where the princess is, but where's the...? * DONKEY, LOOK OUT! * Okay, you two! Head for the exit! I’ll take care of the dragon. ==Donkey== * This is gonna be fun. We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin', I'm makin' waffles! * Wow! Let’s do that again! * DRAAAGOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!! * ''[gets cornered by Dragon]'' Oh, what large teeth you have! ''[Dragon roars]'' I-I-I-I... * Do I detect a hint of minty freshness? * Princess, where are you? It's very spooky in here. I ain't playing no games. * That’s what friends are for. * ''[atop the dragon after she swallows Farquaad]'' All right, nobody move! I've got a dragon and I'm not afraid to use it! I'm a donkey on the edge! ==Princess Fiona== * Hey, wait! What are you doing? * Stop it. Stop it, both of you! Y'know, you're just jealous that you could never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad. * Yes. But, I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful. ==Lord Maximus Farquaad== * ''[his first words]'' That's enough! He's ready to talk. * "Run, run, run as fast as you can! You can't catch me! I'm the Gingerbread Man!". * Evening. Mirror, mirror, on the wall, is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? * Indeed. Knights, new plan! The one who kills the ogre will be named champion! Have at him! * ''[his last words]'' ...I'll have you locked back in that tower, FOR THE REST OF YOUR DAYS! I AM KING! ''[Shrek whistles for Dragon.]'' I WILL HAVE ORDER! I WILL HAVE PERFECTION! I WILL HAVE--! ==Others== * '''Peter Pan''': He can fly! * '''Big Bad Wolf''': What? * '''Thelonious''': Three! Pick number three, my lord! * '''Wrestling Fan''': The chair! Give him the chair! * '''Monsieur Hood''': Please, monster! Can't you see I'm a little busy? ==Dialogue== :'''Shrek''': ''[first lines; narrates his storybook]'' Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep, in the highest room of the tallest tower, for her true love, and true love's first kiss. ''[laughs]'' Like that's ever gonna happen! What a load of... ''[toilet flushes]'' :''[Steve Harwell music playing a song [[w:All Star (song)|All Star]]]'' :'''Steve Harwell''': ''[singing]'' Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me / I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed / She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb / In the shape of an "L" on her forehead...| Well, the years start comin' and they don't stop comin' / Fed to the rules and I hit the ground runnin' / Didn't make sense not to live for fun / Your brain gets smart, but your head gets dumb / So much to do, so much to see / So, what's wrong with taking the backstreets? / You'll never know if you don't go, go / You'll never shine if you don't glow...| Hey now, you're an all-star / Get your game on, go play / Hey now, you're a rock star / Get the show on, get paid / And all that glitters is gold / Only shootin' stars break the mold...| It's a cool place, and they say it gets colder / You're bundled up now, wait 'til you get older / But the meteor men beg to differ / Judging by the hole in the satellite picture / The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin / The water's gettin' warm, so you might as well swim / My world's on fire, how 'bout yours? / That's the way I like it, and I'll never get bored...| Hey now, you're an all-star / Get your game on, go play / Hey now, you're a rock star / Get the show on, get paid / All that glitters is gold / Only shootin' stars break the mold. :''[Shrek strikes a match and burps like a fire in the chimney]'' :'''Villagers''': Go! Go! :'''Voice''': Go for the moon / Go, go, go, go for the moon / Go, go, go, go for the moon / Go, go, go for the moon. :'''Steve Harwell''': ''[singing]'' Hey now, you're an all-star / Get your game on, go play / Hey now, you're a rock star / Get the show on, get paid / And all that glitters is gold / Only shooting stars...| Somebody once asked, "Could I spare some change for gas? / I need to get myself away from this place" / I said, "Yep, what a concept, I could use a little fuel myself / And we could all use a little change"...| Well, the years start comin' and they don't stop comin' / Fed to the rules and I hit the ground runnin' / Didn't make sense not to live for fun / Your brain gets smart, but your head gets dumb / So much to do, so much to see / So, what's wrong with taking the backstreets? / You'll never know if you don't go, go! / You'll never shine if you don't glow...| Hey now, you're an all-star / Get your game on, go play / Hey now, you're a rock star / Get the show on, get paid / And all that glitters is gold / Only shootin' stars break the mold...| Only shootin' stars break the mold / Go for the moon / Go for the moon / Go for the moon / This is how we do it... ''[song fades]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[After Shrek follows Villagers. The angry mob stops. Warily they part the bushes in front of them and we see that they are right outside Shrek's house. One steps forward determinedly]'' :'''Villager''': ''[sotto]'' I think it's in there? :'''Villager Chris''': ''[sotto; intense]'' All right, '''LET'S GET IT!''' ''[Another villager looks alarmed and reaches out, grabbing the first and stopped him]'' :'''Villager James''': Whoa, hold on! Do you know what that thing could do to you? ''[A third villager pipes in]'' :'''Villager Mike''': ''[forboding]'' Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread! :''[The other villagers all stare at him bewildered]'' :'''Shrek''': ''[brightly, laughing]'' Yes. ''[exposes himself]'' Well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres... oh, they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin! :'''Villagers''': No! :'''Shrek''': They'll shave your liver, squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast. :'''Villager James''': ''[waves his torches in front of Shrek]'' BACK! BACK, BEAST! BACK! I WARN YA! ''[Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch like a match; he smiles nervously]'' Right. ''[Shrek huge long roars. Simultaneously the villagers screws their eyes closed and screams for all they're worth. The villagers huge longest screams to kill. Their screams outlasts Shrek's roars and Shrek pounders them for a moments]'' :'''Shrek''': ''[whispers]'' This is the part, where you run away. ''[the villagers do so; laughs]'' And stay out! ''[looks down at a sign]'' Wanted. Fairy tale creatures. ''[sighs]'' :'''Guard #1''': All right. This one's full. Take it away! :'''Dwarfs''': He ho hi he, dwarf prisoners are we... He ho hi he, dwarf prisoners are we. :'''Guard #2''': Move it along. Come on! Get up! :'''Captain of the Guard''': ''[his first words]'' Next! ''[Guard grabs her broom]'' :'''Guard #2''': Give me that! Your flying days are over. :'''Captain of the Guard''': That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next! :'''Man''': Get up! Come on! :'''Villager''': 20 pieces. ''[As the villager passes out]'' :'''Guard''': Sit down there! Keep quiet! :'''Baby Bear''': ''[sadly]'' This cage is too small. ''[Donkey turns around to the old lady holds his rope]'' :'''Donkey''': Please don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance! :'''Old Lady''': Oh, shut up. :'''Donkey''': Oh! :'''Captain of the Guard''': Next! ''[Geppetto steps forward and Pinocchio down on the table]'' :'''Captain of the Guard''': What have you got? :'''Geppetto''': This little wooden puppet. :'''Pinocchio''': I'm not a puppet, I'm a real boy! ''[The puppet begins vibrating, and then nose shoots out to five times]'' :'''Captain of the Guard''': Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away. :'''Pinocchio''': Father, please! Don't let them do this! Help me! :'''Captain of the Guard''': Next! What've you got? :''[The old lady drags the stubborn Donkey up to the table]'' :'''Old Lady''': Well, I've got a talking donkey. :'''Captain of the Guard''': ''[looks up from his ledger]'' Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it. :''[Donkey swallows hard and looks at the old lady. The old lady untied the rope on his Donkey]'' :'''Old Lady''': Oh, go ahead, little fella. :''[Donkey looks at the old lady, then to the Captain. The Captain looks back at Donkey, and lifts the eyebrow]'' :'''Captain of the Guard''': Well? :''[Donkey looks back at the Captain says nothing. The old lady to sweat]'' :'''Old Lady''': Oh, oh, he's just... He's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt... :'''Captain of the Guard''': That's it. I've heard enough. Guards! :'''Old Lady''': ''[moves Donkey's lips]'' No, no, he talks! He does. I can talk. I love to talk! I'm the talkin'est damn thing you ever saw. :'''Captain of the Guard''': ''[annoyed]'' Get her outta my sight. :''[The guards advance on the old lady and takes her off screaming]'' :'''Old Lady''': No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! ''[As she struggles, the old lady accidentally kicks the caged pixie from the boy's hand. The cage goes flying through the air. It lands on Donkey's head, exploding pixie dust all over him. Donkey shocked]'' :'''Donkey''': Hey, I can fly! :'''Peter Pan''': He can fly! :'''3 Pigs''': He can fly! :'''Captain of the Guard''': He can talk! :'''Donkey''': Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a super fly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! Uh-oh. :''[Donkey falls down on the ground]'' :'''Captain of the Guard''': Seize him! After him! He's getting away! <hr width="50%"/> :''[After Shrek scares the guards off; Donkey is meeting Shrek, while following him.]'' :'''Donkey''': Can I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible! :'''Shrek''': Are you talking to... ''[turns around and Donkey is gone]'' me? ''[turns back around, Donkey shows up]'' Whoa! :'''Donkey''': Yes, I was talking to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back there? Man those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up and bam! They was tripping over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that. :'''Shrek''': ''[annoyed]'' That's great. Really. :'''Donkey''': Man, it's good to be free. :'''Shrek''': Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm? ''[walks off]'' :'''Donkey''': But, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. ''[catches up to Shrek]'' Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're a mean, green, fighting machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us. ''[Shrek exhales while turning around and roars at him]'' Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don't mind me saying, if that don't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some [[w:Tic Tac|Tic Tacs]] or something, 'cause your breath stinks! ''[As Shrek continues walking off, annoyed. He shows up from the tree branch, blocking Shrek's way.]'' Man, you almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time... ''[Shrek covers his mouth, but he is still talking, he removes his hand]'' ...then I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases leaking out of my butt that day. :'''Shrek''': WHY...are you following me?! :'''Donkey''': I'll tell you why. ''[sings]'' 'Cause I'm all alone / There's no one here beside me / My problems have all gone / There's no one to deride me! / But ya gotta have friends! :'''Shrek''': Stop singing! ''[picks up Donkey by his ears and tail]'' Well, it's no wonder you don't have any friends. :'''Donkey''': Wow! Only a true friend would be that truly honest. :'''Shrek''': Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me, what am I? :'''Donkey''': Uh... ''[looks Shrek up and down]'' Really tall? :'''Shrek''': No! I'm an ogre! You know, "Grab your torch and pitchforks!" Doesn't that bother you? :'''Donkey''': ''[shakes his head happily]'' Nope. :'''Shrek''': ''[surprised]'' Really? :'''Donkey''': Really, really. :'''Shrek''': Oh. :'''Donkey''': Man, I like you. What's your name? :'''Shrek''': Uh... Shrek. ''[continues walking]'' :'''Donkey''': "Shrek"? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek? You got that kind of I-don't-care what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing. I like that. I respect that. You all right. ''[he and Shrek finds his home]'' Woo, look at that. Who'd want to live in a place like that? :'''Shrek''': That would be home. :'''Donkey''': And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know, you are quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. ''[looks at the rock nearby]'' I like that boulder. That is a ''nice'' boulder. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Donkey''': ''[eyes the KEEP OUT signs surrounding Shrek's home]'' I guess you don't, uh, entertain much, do you? :'''Shrek''': I like my privacy. :'''Donkey''': You know, I do too! That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you've got someone in your face, you try to give 'em a hint, they won't leave, and then there's that big awkward silence, you know... ''[silence ensues]'' ...Can I stay with you? :'''Shrek''': Uh, ''what?'' :'''Donkey''': Can I stay with you... please? :'''Shrek''': Of course! :'''Donkey''': Really? :'''Shrek''': No. :'''Donkey''': Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak! ''[slight pauses out; Shrek gives Donkey a look]'' Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together! You gotta let me stay! Please, please! :'''Shrek''': Okay! Okay. But one night only. :'''Donkey''': Ah, thank you! ''[Shrek opens his door, Donkey charges into the hovel]'' :'''Shrek''': Ah! What are you... No, no, no! :'''Donkey''': This is gonna be fun. We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin', ''[pauses out for a few 2nds]'' I'm makin' waffles! :'''Shrek''': Ohh! :'''Donkey''': Where do, uh, I sleep? :'''Shrek''': ''Outside!'' :'''Donkey''': Oh, ah, I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know. ''[sniffs]'' Here I go. Good night. ''[sighs]'' ''[Shrek slamshuts the door]'' :'''Donkey''': I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was born outside. I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. Sit by myself, outside. ''[singing]'' I'm all alone, ''['''Shrek''': Donkey, be quiet!]'' there's no one here beside me. ''[to Shrek]'' Oh, sorry. ''[Donkey walks from outside, Shrek goes to the house]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[At dinner]'' :'''Shrek''': I thought I told you to stay outside. :'''Donkey''': I am outside. :''[Shrek hears skittering. He spins to look and he whips around to see Three Blind Mice stumbling around on his dinner table]'' :'''Mouse #1''': Well, gents, it's a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we have? :'''Mouse #2''': Well, it's not home, but it'll do just fine. :''[Shrek starts toward the table. Mouse 3 walks up to Shrek's ear wax candle. Mouse 1 bounces on Shrek's squid]'' :'''Mouse #3''': What a lovely bed! :'''Shrek''': Gotcha! :'''Mouse #3''': I've found some cheese! :''[Mouse 3 takes a bite of the ear wax candle and spits it out]'' :'''Shrek''': Ow! :'''Mouse #3''': Blah! Awful stuff. :'''Mouse #2''': Is that you Gorder?! :'''Mouse #3''': How did you know? :'''Shrek''': Enough! What are you doing in my house? Hey! Oh, no, no, no, no! Get your off the table. <hr width="50%"/> :''[A masked man named Thelonious is torturing the Gingerbread Man. He's continually dunking him in a glass of milk. A prince named Lord Farquaad puts his gloves on and walks in]'' :'''Gingerbread Man''': ''[Off-screen]'' No! ''[makes mumbling noises when trying to talk in the milk]'' :'''Lord Farquaad''': ''[his first words]'' That's enough! He's ready to talk. ''[puts him down; Farquaad laughs, then signals for the table to lower]'' Run, run, run, as you fast as you can. You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man! :'''Gingerbread Man''': You're a monster. :'''Lord Farquaad''': I'm not the monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell me! Where are the others?! :'''Gingerbread Man''': Eat me! ''[spits at Farquaad]'' :'''Lord Farquaad''': ''[grunts]'' I've tried to be fair with you creatures, but now my patience has reached its end! Tell me, or I'll-- :''[Farquaad reaches to pull off one of Gingerbread Man's buttons]'' :'''Gingerbread Man''': No! Not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons! :'''Lord Farquaad''': All right, then, who's hiding them?! :'''Gingerbread Man''': Okay! I'll tell you. Do you know the muffin man? :'''Lord Farquaad''': The muffin man? :'''Gingerbread Man''': The muffin man. :'''Lord Farquaad''': Yes. I know the muffin man. Who-who lives on Drury Lane? :'''Gingerbread Man''': Well, she's married to the muffin man. :'''Lord Farquaad''': The muffin man?! :'''Gingerbread Man''': THE MUFFIN MAN! :'''Lord Farquaad''': She's married to the muffin man. :'''Captain of the Guard''': ''[his last words]'' My lord! We found it. :'''Lord Farquaad''': Well, then what are you waiting for? Bring it in. ''[Guards hang a shrouded figure from a chain. They pull the cover off, revealing an ornate, full-sized mirror. A terrified face appears in the mirror]'' :'''Gingerbread Man''': Ohhh... :'''Lord Farquaad''': Magic Mirror. :'''Gingerbread Man''': Don't tell him anything! ''[Farquaad drops him in the trash can]'' No! :'''Lord Farquaad''': Evening. Mirror, mirror, on the wall, is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? :'''Magic Mirror''': Well, technically, you're not a king. :'''Lord Farquaad''': Uh, Thelonious? ''[Thelonious the executioner smashes a small looking glass]'' You were saying? :'''Magic Mirror''': ''[nervous]'' What I mean is, you're not a king '''''yet!''''' But you can become one! All you have to do is marry a princess. :'''Lord Farquaad''': Go on. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Shrek and Donkey are now walking through the sunflower fields heading away from Duloc. Shrek is munching on an onion as he makes a mess in the fields]'' :'''Donkey''': Okay, so let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad will give you back a swamp which you only don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place. Is that about right? :'''Shrek''': You know, maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk. :'''Donkey''': I don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that ogre stuff on him? Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grinds his bones to make your bread, the whole ogre trip. :'''Shrek''': Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you? :'''Donkey''': Uh, no, not really, no. :'''Shrek''': For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think. :'''Donkey''': Example? :'''Shrek''': Example? Okay, um, ogres are like onions. ''[he holds out his onion]'' :'''Donkey''': ''[sniffs the onion]'' They stink? :'''Shrek''': Yes - - No! :'''Donkey''': Or they make you cry? :'''Shrek''': No! :'''Donkey''': Oh, you leave them in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs. :'''Shrek''': No! Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres have layers! Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers. ''[he throws away the onion and walks off]'' :'''Donkey''': Oh, you both have layers. Oh. ''[sniffs]'' You know, not everybody likes onions. Cake! ''[trailing after Shrek]'' Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers. :'''Shrek''': I don't care... what everyone likes. Ogres are not like cakes. ''[walks passed Donkey]'' :'''Donkey''': You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfaits"? Parfaits are delicious. :'''Shrek''': ''[yelling angrily; and losing patience]'' NO! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story. Bye-bye. ''[whispers]'' See you later. :'''Donkey''': Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet. :'''Shrek''': You know, I think I preferred your humming. :'''Donkey''': Do you have a tissue or something? I'm making a mess. Just the word parfait makes me start slobbering. :''[They head off. There is a montage of their journey. Walking through a field at sunset. Sleeping beneath a bright moon. Shrek burns his foot trying to stomp out the campfire, so Donkey urinates on the fire to put it out. They arrive at the outskirts of a giant volcano and begin to make their way up]'' :'''Donkey''': ''[sniffs]'' Whew! Shrek! Did you do that? You gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was open and everything. :'''Shrek''': Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead. (sniffs) It's brimstone. We must be getting close. :'''Donkey''': Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking about it's the brimstone. I know what I smell. It wasn't no brimstone. It didn't come off no stone neither. :''[They reach the top of the climb and hoist themselves up and over the ridge] :''[Shrek and Donkey gaze out into the crater. The Dragon's Keep towered before them, a dilapidated castle, burned and blackened. Perched on a rock pinnacle, it was surrounded by a terrifying lake of molten lava. A single light shines in the window of the tallest tower. Dark clouds block out the blue sky above them. Thunder strikes and crows circling the castle can be heard. It's all very ominous like '''[[w:Sleeping Beauty (1959 film)|Sleeping Beauty]]'''.]'' :'''Shrek''': Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location. ''[laughs]'' :''[Shrek jumps over and approaches the bridge, with Donkey joining in behind him]'' :'''Donkey''': ''[chuckles along nervously]'' Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when you said that ogres have layers? :'''Shrek''': Oh, aye. :'''Donkey''': Well, I have a bit of a confession to make (gasps, seeing the skeleton of a horse). Donkeys don't have layers. We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves. :'''Shrek''': Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves. :'''Donkey''': You know what I mean. :'''Shrek''': Oh, you can't tell me you're afraid of heights. :'''Donkey''': No, I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over a boiling lake of lava! :'''Shrek''': Come on, Donkey. I'm right here beside ya, okay? For emotional support. We'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step at a time. :'''Donkey''': Really? :'''Shrek''': Really, really. :'''Donkey''': Okay, that makes me feel so much better. :'''Shrek''': Just keep moving. And don't look down. :'''Donkey''': ''[nervously to himself]'' Okay, don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down. Keep on moving. Don't look down. :''[Donkey accidentally steps through a rotting board, which falls down into the fiery lava below]'' :'''Donkey''': Shrek! I'm lookin' down! ''[screams]'' Oh, God, I can't do this! Just let me off, please! :'''Shrek''': But you're already halfway. :'''Donkey''': But I know that half is safe! :'''Shrek''': Okay, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back. :''[Shrek tries to press on while Donkey tries to make his way back under Shrek]'' :'''Donkey''': Shrek, no! Wait! :'''Shrek''': Just, Donkey - - Let's have a dance then, shall we? ''[bounces and sways the bridge]'' :'''Donkey''': Don't do that! :'''Shrek''': Oh, I'm sorry. Do what? Oh, this? ''[bounces the bridge again]'' :'''Donkey''': Yes, that! :'''Shrek''': Yes? Yes, do it. Okay. ''[continues to bounce and sway as he backs Donkey across the bridge]'' :'''Donkey''': No, Shrek! No! Stop it! :'''Shrek''': You said do it! I'm doing it. :'''Donkey''': I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek, I'm gonna die. ''[steps onto solid ground]'' Oh! :'''Shrek''': That'll do, Donkey. That'll do. ''[walks toward the castle]'' :'''Donkey''': Cool. So where is this fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway? :'''Shrek''': Inside, waiting for us to rescue her. ''[chuckles]'' :'''Donkey''': I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek. :''[The pair start making their way through the hallways of the dragon's dark and spooky keep. Shrek is wary, while Donkey is downright terrified. Only an occasional torch lights the way. The passages are littered with bones, armor, and weapons, presumably belonging to the many unsuccessful knights who tried to rescue the princess like a '''[[w:Virtual Hydlide|Virtual Hydlide]]''', '''[[w:The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past|The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past]]''' and '''[[w:Shining Wisdom|Shining Wisdom]]'''.]'' :'''Donkey''': ''[whispers nervously]'' You afraid? :'''Shrek''': No. But.... ''[shushes Donkey in the fear of awakening the dragon]'' :'''Donkey''': ''[sighs]'' Oh, good. Me neither. ''[gets spooked and gasps]'' 'Cause there's nothing wrong with being afraid. Fear's a sensible response to an unfamiliar situation. Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I might add. With a dragon that breathes fire and eats knights and breathes fire. It sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little scared. I sure as heck ain't no coward. I know that. :''[Donkey crashes into a pile of knight remains, knocking over a skeleton whose helmet lands on Donkey's head. The skeleton head falls off and Donkey gasps]'' :'''Shrek''': Donkey, 2 things, okay? Shut. Up. Now go over there and see if you can find any stairs (grabs the helmet and puts it on) :'''Donkey''': Stairs? I thought we was looking for the princess. :'''Shrek''': ''[picking up pieces of armor]'' The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower. :'''Donkey''': What makes you think she'll be there? :'''Shrek''': I read it in a book once. ''[walks off]'' :'''Donkey''': Cool. You handle the dragon. I'll handle the stairs. I'll find those stairs. I'll whip their butt too. Those stairs won't know which way they're going. :''[Shrek, now disguised as a knight in shining armor walks off further into the castle. Donkey wanders off in the opposite direction, still talking to himself, and pushes his way through a giant set of doors]'' :'''Donkey''': I'm gonna take drastic steps. Kick it to the curb. Don't mess with me. I'm the stair master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a step right here. I'd step all over it. :''[Behind a broken wall, a giant eye opens to see an unaware Donkey. Elsewhere, Shrek spots a light in the window of a tower]'' :'''Shrek''': Well, at least we know where the princess is. But where's the... :'''Donkey''': DRAGON!!!!!! :''[Donkey screams and takes off running, narrowly dodging the dragon's fiery breath. The dragon chases after Donkey, stomping on the pile of knight remains in her way. Shrek turns around to see Donkey barreling toward him with the dragon close behind him]'' :'''Shrek''': Donkey, look out! :''[Shrek manages to grab Donkey out of the way just as the dragon breathes another fireball. Donkey drops to the floor to avoid another fireball, which manages to singe the tuft of his tail. The dragon is just about to eat Donkey when Shrek grabs ahold of her tail]'' :'''Shrek''': Got ya! :''[The dragon begins to swing her tail back and forth with Shrek still holding on, then launches him into the air. Shrek crashes through the roof of the tallest tower and into Fiona's room. Fiona wakes up and looks at him lying on the floor unconscious. The dragon now focuses her attention on Donkey, breathing fire at him and forcing him onto a stone bridge. The dragon knocks down portions of the bridge until Donkey is left staying on a lone pillar]'' :'''Donkey''': No. Oh, no, No! ''[the dragon growls]'' Oh, what large teeth you have! ''[the dragon roars]'' I mean white, sparkling teeth! :''[The dragon pauses, looks at him inquisitively, and then smiles. Donkey might just flatter his way out of becoming dragon food) :'''Donkey''': I know you probably hear this all time from your food, but you must bleach, 'cause that is one dazzling smile you got there. Do I detect a hint of minty freshness? :''[The dragon appears to be flattered by Donkey's compliments]'' :'''Donkey''': And you know what else? You know what else? You're-- You're-- :''[The dragon leans forward and gazes at Donkey, revealing its long eyelashes and lipsticked mouth. Suddenly it was all clear to Donkey]'' :'''Donkey''': --a girl dragon! Oh, sure! I mean, of course you're a girl dragon. You're just reeking of feminine beauty. ''[The dragon flutters her eyes at him]'' What's the matter with you? You got something in your eye? :''[Dragon blows a heart-shaped smoke ring at Donkey]'' :'''Donkey''': Ohh. Oh. Oh. Man, I'd really love to stay, but you know, I'm, uh... ''[coughs]'' I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd work out if you're gonna blow smoke rings and stuff. Shrek! :''[Dragon picks him up by the tail in her mouth and happily carries him off]'' :'''Donkey''': No! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! :''[Shrek groans as he regains consciousness. His back is to a Princess Fiona, laying upright on the bed near the window. Though a bit startled, she is ecstatic to see her knight-in-shining armor. She straightens her dress, lays back down, and then quickly reaches over for bouquet of flowers off the side table. She lays back down and pretends to be asleep, clutching the bouquet to her breast. Shrek turns, takes note of the princess and walks across the room over to her. He bends down over to Fiona and she puckers her lips. Shrek takes her by the shoulders and forcefully shakes her]'' :'''Princess Fiona''': Wha...Wha... :'''Shrek''': Wake up! :'''Princess Fiona''': What?! :'''Shrek''': Are you Princess Fiona? :'''Princess Fiona''': I am... ''[smiling]'' awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me. :'''Shrek''': Ah, that's nice. Now let's go! :''[Shrek turns to leave and Fiona quickly sits upright]'' :'''Princess Fiona''': But wait, Sir Knight! This be-ith our first meeting. Should it not be a wonderful, romantic moment? :''[she tosses the bouquet and lays back down, swooning]'' :'''Shrek''': Yeah, sorry, lady. There's no time. :''[Shrek walks back, yanks Fiona's arm. and hauls her out of bed and toward the door]'' :'''Princess Fiona''': Hey, wait. What are you doing? You know, you should sweep me off my feet out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed. :''[Shrek yanks on the door handle only for it to snap off]'' :'''Shrek''': You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you? :'''Princess Fiona''': Mm-hmm. ''[screams as Shrek suddenly smashes the door down with his shoulder, still holding onto her arm. He rushes down the tower's staircase in tow and grabs a torch]'' But we have to savor this moment! You could recite an epic poem for me. :''[Shrek and Fiona cross the bridge connecting the tallest tower to the rest of the castle]'' :'''Princess Fiona''': A ballad? A sonnet! A limerick? Or something! :''[Fiona pulls her arm from Shrek's grip. They stop for a moment as Shrek figures out which direction to go]'' :'''Shrek''': I don't think so. :'''Princess Fiona''': Well, can I at least know the name of my champion? :'''Shrek''': Uh, Shrek. :'''Princess Fiona''': Sir Shrek. ''[she smiles, clears her throat, and holds out a handkerchief]'' I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude. :'''Shrek''': Thanks! :''[Shrek regards the handkerchief curiously and wipes his sooty face with it, blackening it. He hands it back to an appalled Fiona, but before she can react, they are startled by the dragon's roar as she drops it to the floor]'' :'''Princess Fiona''': You didn't slay the dragon?! :'''Shrek''': It's on my to-do list, now come on! :''[Shrek grabs Fiona once again and takes off running toward the direction of the dragon's roar]' :'''Princess Fiona''': But this isn't right! You were meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying. That's what all the other knights did! :'''Shrek''': Yeah, right before they burst into flames! :''[He gestures at the skeleton of a knight laying against the wall, a charred outline of a man burned into the stone behind it]'' :'''Princess Fiona''': That's not the point! Ugh! :''[Fiona pulls her arm free from Shrek and stops running. Shrek pauses to look around and heads for a set of wooden doors]'' :'''Princess Fiona''': Wait, where are you going? The exit's over there! :''[she points her arm to her left and Shrek turns around]'' :'''Shrek''': Well, I have to save my ass. :'''Princess Fiona''': What kind of knight are you? :'''Shrek''': One of a kind. :''[Shrek quietly pushes open the doors, stepping out onto a balcony of large spacious room. In the center of the room, Dragon has Donkey wrapped up on her tail. Dragon sits on a floor littered with a horde of gold coins and jewels]'' :'''Donkey''': Slow down. Slow down, baby, please. Look I believe it's healthy to get to know someone over a long period of time. Just, just call me old-fashioned. I don't want to rush into a... a physical relationship. I'm not...not emotionally ready for a commitment of, uh, this, uh - - "magnitude" really is the word I'm looking for. Magnitude. :''[Dragon gently caresses Donkey with a single claw]'' :'''Donkey''': Hey, that is unwanted physical contact. Hey, what are you doing? :''[Dragon looks up at the chandelier hanging above them and gently lights its candles with her fire breath]'' :'''Donkey''': Okay, okay. Let's just back up a little and take this one step at a time. I mean we really should get to know each other first, you know, as friends or maybe even pen pals. Y'know cause I'm on the road a lot, but I just love receiving cards to read -- :''[Shrek jumps off the balcony, grabbing a chain connected to the chandelier. The chain does not hang low enough for him to be able to grab Donkey and sends him swinging over Dragon. The chain swings back and ends up dangling him above her]'' :'''Donkey''': Oh y'know I'd, I'd really love to stay, but -- :''[Dragon tugs at Donkey's tail with her mouth]'' :'''Donkey''': Hey. hey don't do that! That's my tail! That's my personal tail. You're gonna tear it off. I don't give permission to-- hey! What are you gonna do with that? :''[Dragon purses her lips and gets ready to kiss Donkey. Shrek looks up and spots that the chain is jammed above him. He starts shaking it to try and relapse it from the pulley. Suddenly the pulley comes loose and Shrek starts falling]'' :'''Donkey''': Hey, now. No way. No! No! No, no! No. No, no, no. No! Oh! :''[Shrek lands on Donkey and bumps him out of Dragon's grasp just as she is about to kiss him, and now instead kisses Shrek's butt. She opens her eyes and roars. Shrek lets go of the chain and the chandelier falls onto her head, which acts as a collar around her neck. She roars again and Shrek and Donkey take off running. They dodge a blast of fire from Dragon. Shrek grabs Donkey in one arm and then grabs Princess Fiona, who has wandered into the room, with the other arm as he runs past her]'' :'''Donkey''': Hi, Princess! :'''Princess Fiona''': It talks! :'''Shrek''': Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick. :''[They all gasp as Shrek suddenly stops, having reached the end of the balcony Shrek spots a fallen column that has formed a sort of slide. He jumps on it just as Dragon tries to bite them and slides down it. Unfortunately there is a crack in the stone, which hits Shrek right in the crotch. His eyes cross and as he reaches the bottom of the slide, he groans and stumbles off. Dragon chases after them, the chain of the chandelier still unraveling. They are chased by Dragon through a large hall, her chain looping itself around multiple stone pillars as Shrek zigzags around them. Dragon ends up in front of them and breathes fire. Shrek dodges the fire and runs away, leaping over several rows of chains. He comes to a halt]'' :'''Shrek''': Okay, you 2, head for the exit! ''[setting down Donkey and Fiona]'' I'll take care of the dragon. :''[Shrek grabs a sword lodged in the floor and sticks it through a link in the chain and deep into the floor. Shrek catches up with Donkey and Fiona, who are waiting near the exit]'' :'''Shrek''': Run! :''[They sprint as fast as they can out of the castle and onto the rickety bridge as Dragon breathes a huge fireball behind them. As they reach the middle of the bridge the fire burns the bridge, which snaps in half. They hang onto the bridge as they are swung to the other side. Donkey, unable to grab on, falls off but Shrek catches him by the leg. Fiona screams in horror as Dragon flies over the boiling lava to get them. Suddenly the chandelier pulls Dragon back, the sword having lodged itself into a stone column and getting the chain stuck. The group quickly climbs up to safety. Dragon lets out a defeated roar, then gives a sad whimper]'' ==''Shrek in the Swamp Karaoke Dance Party''== :'''Shrek''': Hi everybody, and welcome to the Shrek in the Swamp Karaoke Dance Party. ''[turns on the radio]'' I'm gonna take things down a little bit with one of my personal favorites. ==See also== * ''[[Shrek 2]]'' * ''[[Shrek the Third|Shrek 3]]'' * ''[[Shrek Forever After|Shrek 4]]'' * ''[[Puss in Boots (2011 film)|Puss in Boots]]'' * ''[[Puss in Boots: The Last Wish|Puss in Boots 2]]'' * ''[[w:Shrek (franchise)|Shrek 5]]'' * ''[[w:Shrek (franchise)|Donkey]]'' * ''[[w:Shrek (franchise)|Puss in Boots 3]]'' ==Taglines== * The greatest fairy tale never told. * The Prince isn't charming. The Princess isn't sleeping. The sidekick isn't helping. The ogre is the hero. Fairy tales will never be the same again. ==Voice Cast== * '''[[w:Mike Myers|Mike Myers]]''' — [[w:Shrek (character)|Shrek]], Blind Mouse #2 * '''[[Eddie Murphy]]''' — [[w:Donkey (Shrek)|Donkey]] * '''[[Cameron Diaz]]''' — [[w:Princess Fiona|Princess Fiona]] * '''[[w:John Lithgow|John Lithgow]]''' — [[w:Lord Farquaad|Lord Farquaad]] * '''[[w:Vincent Cassel|Vincent Cassel]]''' — Monsieur Robin Hood * '''[[w:Peter Dennis|Peter Dennis]]'''<br>'''Clive Pearse''' — Ogre Hunters * '''[[w:Jim Cummings|Jim Cummings]]''' — Captain of the Guards * '''Bobby Block''' — Baby Bear * '''[[w:Chris Miller (animator)|Chris Miller]]''' — Geppetto, Magic Mirror * '''[[w:Cody Cameron|Cody Cameron]]''' — Pinocchio, Three Little Pigs * '''[[w:Kathleen Freeman|Kathleen Freeman]]''' — Old Woman * '''Michael Galasso''' — Peter Pan * '''[[w:Christopher Knights|Christopher Knights]]''' — Blind Mouse #1, Thelonious * '''[[w:Simon J. Smith|Simon J. Smith]]''' — Blind Mouse #3 * '''[[w:Conrad Vernon|Conrad Vernon]]''' — Gingerbread "Gingy" Man * '''Jacquie Barnbrook''' — Wrestling Fan * '''Guillaume Aretos'''<br>'''John Bisom'''<br>'''Matthew Gonder'''<br>'''Calvin Remsberg'''<br>'''[[w:Jean-Paul Vignon|Jean-Paul Vignon]]''' — Merry Men * '''[[w:Val Bettin|Val Bettin]]''' — Bishop * '''[[w:Aron Warner|Aron Warner]]''' — Big Bad Wolf (''uncredited'') * '''[[Frank Welker]]''' — [[w:Dragon (Shrek)|Dragon]] (''uncredited'') * '''[[w:Andrew Adamson|Andrew Adamson]]''' — Duloc Mascot, Ogre Hunter (''uncredited'') * '''Sim Evan-Jones''' — Ogre Hunter (''uncredited'') * '''[[w:Elisa Gabrielli|Elisa Gabrielli]]''' — Additional Voices (''uncredited'') ==External Links== {{wikipedia}} * {{imdb title|id=0126029|title=Shrek}} {{Shrek}} {{Authority control}} [[Category:2001 animated films]] [[Category:2001 American animated films]] [[Category:American films]] [[Category:American computer-animated films]] [[Category:American children's animated adventure films]] [[Category:American children's animated comedy films]] [[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]] [[Category:Films based on novels]] [[Category:Best Animated Feature Academy Award winners]] [[Category:Shrek]] [[Category:United States National Film Registry films]] [[Category:Films about royalty]] [[Category:Animated films set in castles]] [[Category:Films set in the Middle Ages]] [[Category:Animated films about dragons]] [[Category:Animated buddy films]] [[Category:Films about witchcraft]] [[Category:2000s English-language films]] o3evjim82rzjjjr1jl6dd8t2srodtwc 3942211 3942210 2026-05-17T23:12:24Z ~2026-23302-71 3311283 3942211 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} [[File:Shrek logo.jpg|thumb]] '''''[[w:Shrek|Shrek]]''''' is a [[w:2001 in film|2001 American]] [[w:animated film|animated film]] about an ogre who, in order to regain his swamp, travels along with a donkey in order to bring a princess to a scheming lord who wishes come King. :''Directed by [[w:Andrew Adamson|Andrew Adamson]] and [[Vicky Jenson]]. Written by [[w:Ted Elliott (screenwriter)|Ted Elliott]], [[w:Terry Rossio|Terry Rossio]], [[w:Joe Stillman|Joe Stillman]] and [[w:Roger S. H. Schulman|Roger S. H. Schulman]], based on the [[w:Shrek!|book of the same name]] by [[w:William Steig|William Steig]].'' :''Music by [[Harry Gregson-Williams]] and [[John Powell]].'' {{center|'''The greatest fairy tale never told.''' <small>([[#Taglines|taglines]])</small>}} ==Shrek== * ''[whispers]'' This is the part where you run away. * No! I'm an ogre. You know. "Grab your torch and pitchforks." * What are you doing in my swamp?! ''[echoes]'' * All right. Who knows where this Farquaad guy is? * It’s quiet. Too quiet. Where is everybody? * All right, you're going the right way for a smacked bottom. * Thank you! Thank you very much! I'm here 'til Thursday. Try the veal! * You know what? Maybe there’s a good reason donkeys shouldn’t talk. * Okay, uh, ogres are like onions. * Ogres are like onions! End of story! Bye-Bye! ''[whispers]'' See you later. * Well, at least we know where the princess is, but where's the...? * DONKEY, LOOK OUT! * Okay, you two! Head for the exit! I’ll take care of the dragon. ==Donkey== * This is gonna be fun. We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin', I'm makin' waffles! * Wow! Let’s do that again! * DRAAAGOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!! * ''[gets cornered by Dragon]'' Oh, what large teeth you have! ''[Dragon roars]'' I-I-I-I... * Do I detect a hint of minty freshness? * Princess, where are you? It's very spooky in here. I ain't playing no games. * That’s what friends are for. * ''[atop the dragon after she swallows Farquaad]'' All right, nobody move! I've got a dragon and I'm not afraid to use it! I'm a donkey on the edge! ==Princess Fiona== * Hey, wait! What are you doing? * Stop it. Stop it, both of you! Y'know, you're just jealous that you could never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad. * Yes. But, I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful. ==Lord Maximus Farquaad== * ''[his first words]'' That's enough! He's ready to talk. * "Run, run, run as fast as you can! You can't catch me! I'm the Gingerbread Man!". * Evening. Mirror, mirror, on the wall, is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? * Indeed. Knights, new plan! The one who kills the ogre will be named champion! Have at him! * ''[his last words]'' ...I'll have you locked back in that tower, FOR THE REST OF YOUR DAYS! I AM KING! ''[Shrek whistles for Dragon.]'' I WILL HAVE ORDER! I WILL HAVE PERFECTION! I WILL HAVE--! ==Others== * '''Peter Pan''': He can fly! * '''Big Bad Wolf''': What? * '''Thelonious''': Three! Pick number three, my lord! * '''Wrestling Fan''': The chair! Give him the chair! * '''Monsieur Hood''': Please, monster! Can't you see I'm a little busy? ==Dialogue== :'''Shrek''': ''[first lines; narrates his storybook]'' Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep, in the highest room of the tallest tower, for her true love, and true love's first kiss. ''[laughs]'' Like that's ever gonna happen! What a load of... ''[toilet flushes]'' :''[Steve Harwell music playing a song [[w:All Star (song)|All Star]]]'' :'''Steve Harwell''': ''[singing]'' Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me / I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed / She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb / In the shape of an "L" on her forehead...| Well, the years start comin' and they don't stop comin' / Fed to the rules and I hit the ground runnin' / Didn't make sense not to live for fun / Your brain gets smart, but your head gets dumb / So much to do, so much to see / So, what's wrong with taking the backstreets? / You'll never know if you don't go, go / You'll never shine if you don't glow...| Hey now, you're an all-star / Get your game on, go play / Hey now, you're a rock star / Get the show on, get paid / And all that glitters is gold / Only shootin' stars break the mold...| It's a cool place, and they say it gets colder / You're bundled up now, wait 'til you get older / But the meteor men beg to differ / Judging by the hole in the satellite picture / The ice we skate is gettin' pretty thin / The water's gettin' warm, so you might as well swim / My world's on fire, how 'bout yours? / That's the way I like it, and I'll never get bored...| Hey now, you're an all-star / Get your game on, go play / Hey now, you're a rock star / Get the show on, get paid / All that glitters is gold / Only shootin' stars break the mold. :''[Shrek strikes a match and burps like a fire in the chimney]'' :'''Villagers''': Go! Go! :'''Voice''': Go for the moon / Go, go, go, go for the moon / Go, go, go, go for the moon / Go, go, go for the moon. :'''Steve Harwell''': ''[singing]'' Hey now, you're an all-star / Get your game on, go play / Hey now, you're a rock star / Get the show on, get paid / And all that glitters is gold / Only shooting stars...| Somebody once asked, "Could I spare some change for gas? / I need to get myself away from this place" / I said, "Yep, what a concept, I could use a little fuel myself / And we could all use a little change"...| Well, the years start comin' and they don't stop comin' / Fed to the rules and I hit the ground runnin' / Didn't make sense not to live for fun / Your brain gets smart, but your head gets dumb / So much to do, so much to see / So, what's wrong with taking the backstreets? / You'll never know if you don't go, go! / You'll never shine if you don't glow...| Hey now, you're an all-star / Get your game on, go play / Hey now, you're a rock star / Get the show on, get paid / And all that glitters is gold / Only shootin' stars break the mold...| Only shootin' stars break the mold / Go for the moon / Go for the moon / Go for the moon / This is how we do it... ''[song fades]'' :''[After Shrek follows Villagers. The angry mob stops. Warily they part the bushes in front of them and we see that they are right outside Shrek's house. One steps forward determinedly]'' :'''Villager''': ''[sotto]'' I think it's in there? :'''Villager Chris''': ''[sotto; intense]'' All right, '''LET'S GET IT!''' ''[Another villager looks alarmed and reaches out, grabbing the first and stopped him]'' :'''Villager James''': Whoa, hold on! Do you know what that thing could do to you? ''[A third villager pipes in]'' :'''Villager Mike''': ''[forboding]'' Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread! :''[The other villagers all stare at him bewildered]'' :'''Shrek''': ''[brightly, laughing]'' Yes. ''[exposes himself]'' Well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres... oh, they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin! :'''Villagers''': No! :'''Shrek''': They'll shave your liver, squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast. :'''Villager James''': ''[waves his torches in front of Shrek]'' BACK! BACK, BEAST! BACK! I WARN YA! ''[Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch like a match; he smiles nervously]'' Right. ''[Shrek huge long roars. Simultaneously the villagers screws their eyes closed and screams for all they're worth. The villagers huge longest screams to kill. Their screams outlasts Shrek's roars and Shrek pounders them for a moments]'' :'''Shrek''': ''[whispers]'' This is the part, where you run away. ''[the villagers do so; laughs]'' And stay out! ''[looks down at a sign]'' Wanted. Fairy tale creatures. ''[sighs]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Guard #1''': All right. This one's full. Take it away! :'''Dwarfs''': He ho hi he, dwarf prisoners are we... He ho hi he, dwarf prisoners are we. :'''Guard #2''': Move it along. Come on! Get up! :'''Captain of the Guard''': ''[his first words]'' Next! ''[Guard grabs her broom]'' :'''Guard #2''': Give me that! Your flying days are over. :'''Captain of the Guard''': That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Next! :'''Man''': Get up! Come on! :'''Villager''': 20 pieces. ''[As the villager passes out]'' :'''Guard''': Sit down there! Keep quiet! :'''Baby Bear''': ''[sadly]'' This cage is too small. ''[Donkey turns around to the old lady holds his rope]'' :'''Donkey''': Please don't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please! Give me another chance! :'''Old Lady''': Oh, shut up. :'''Donkey''': Oh! :'''Captain of the Guard''': Next! ''[Geppetto steps forward and Pinocchio down on the table]'' :'''Captain of the Guard''': What have you got? :'''Geppetto''': This little wooden puppet. :'''Pinocchio''': I'm not a puppet, I'm a real boy! ''[The puppet begins vibrating, and then nose shoots out to five times]'' :'''Captain of the Guard''': Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away. :'''Pinocchio''': Father, please! Don't let them do this! Help me! :'''Captain of the Guard''': Next! What've you got? :''[The old lady drags the stubborn Donkey up to the table]'' :'''Old Lady''': Well, I've got a talking donkey. :'''Captain of the Guard''': ''[looks up from his ledger]'' Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings, if you can prove it. :''[Donkey swallows hard and looks at the old lady. The old lady untied the rope on his Donkey]'' :'''Old Lady''': Oh, go ahead, little fella. :''[Donkey looks at the old lady, then to the Captain. The Captain looks back at Donkey, and lifts the eyebrow]'' :'''Captain of the Guard''': Well? :''[Donkey looks back at the Captain says nothing. The old lady to sweat]'' :'''Old Lady''': Oh, oh, he's just... He's just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt... :'''Captain of the Guard''': That's it. I've heard enough. Guards! :'''Old Lady''': ''[moves Donkey's lips]'' No, no, he talks! He does. I can talk. I love to talk! I'm the talkin'est damn thing you ever saw. :'''Captain of the Guard''': ''[annoyed]'' Get her outta my sight. :''[The guards advance on the old lady and takes her off screaming]'' :'''Old Lady''': No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk! ''[As she struggles, the old lady accidentally kicks the caged pixie from the boy's hand. The cage goes flying through the air. It lands on Donkey's head, exploding pixie dust all over him. Donkey shocked]'' :'''Donkey''': Hey, I can fly! :'''Peter Pan''': He can fly! :'''3 Pigs''': He can fly! :'''Captain of the Guard''': He can talk! :'''Donkey''': Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey. You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a super fly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly. Ha, ha! Uh-oh. :''[Donkey falls down on the ground]'' :'''Captain of the Guard''': Seize him! After him! He's getting away! <hr width="50%"/> :''[After Shrek scares the guards off; Donkey is meeting Shrek, while following him.]'' :'''Donkey''': Can I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible! :'''Shrek''': Are you talking to... ''[turns around and Donkey is gone]'' me? ''[turns back around, Donkey shows up]'' Whoa! :'''Donkey''': Yes, I was talking to you. Can I tell you that you that you was great back there? Man those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up and bam! They was tripping over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that. :'''Shrek''': ''[annoyed]'' That's great. Really. :'''Donkey''': Man, it's good to be free. :'''Shrek''': Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm? ''[walks off]'' :'''Donkey''': But, uh, I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. ''[catches up to Shrek]'' Hey, wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you. You're a mean, green, fighting machine. Together we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us. ''[Shrek exhales while turning around and roars at him]'' Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you don't mind me saying, if that don't work, your breath certainly will get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some [[w:Tic Tac|Tic Tacs]] or something, 'cause your breath stinks! ''[As Shrek continues walking off, annoyed. He shows up from the tree branch, blocking Shrek's way.]'' Man, you almost burned the hair outta my nose, just like the time... ''[Shrek covers his mouth, but he is still talking, he removes his hand]'' ...then I ate some rotten berries. I had strong gases leaking out of my butt that day. :'''Shrek''': WHY...are you following me?! :'''Donkey''': I'll tell you why. ''[sings]'' 'Cause I'm all alone / There's no one here beside me / My problems have all gone / There's no one to deride me! / But ya gotta have friends! :'''Shrek''': Stop singing! ''[picks up Donkey by his ears and tail]'' Well, it's no wonder you don't have any friends. :'''Donkey''': Wow! Only a true friend would be that truly honest. :'''Shrek''': Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me, what am I? :'''Donkey''': Uh... ''[looks Shrek up and down]'' Really tall? :'''Shrek''': No! I'm an ogre! You know, "Grab your torch and pitchforks!" Doesn't that bother you? :'''Donkey''': ''[shakes his head happily]'' Nope. :'''Shrek''': ''[surprised]'' Really? :'''Donkey''': Really, really. :'''Shrek''': Oh. :'''Donkey''': Man, I like you. What's your name? :'''Shrek''': Uh... Shrek. ''[continues walking]'' :'''Donkey''': "Shrek"? Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek? You got that kind of I-don't-care what-nobody-thinks-of-me thing. I like that. I respect that. You all right. ''[he and Shrek finds his home]'' Woo, look at that. Who'd want to live in a place like that? :'''Shrek''': That would be home. :'''Donkey''': And it is lovely! Just beautiful. You know, you are quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. ''[looks at the rock nearby]'' I like that boulder. That is a ''nice'' boulder. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Donkey''': ''[eyes the KEEP OUT signs surrounding Shrek's home]'' I guess you don't, uh, entertain much, do you? :'''Shrek''': I like my privacy. :'''Donkey''': You know, I do too! That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you've got someone in your face, you try to give 'em a hint, they won't leave, and then there's that big awkward silence, you know... ''[silence ensues]'' ...Can I stay with you? :'''Shrek''': Uh, ''what?'' :'''Donkey''': Can I stay with you... please? :'''Shrek''': Of course! :'''Donkey''': Really? :'''Shrek''': No. :'''Donkey''': Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak! ''[slight pauses out; Shrek gives Donkey a look]'' Well, maybe you do. But that's why we gotta stick together! You gotta let me stay! Please, please! :'''Shrek''': Okay! Okay. But one night only. :'''Donkey''': Ah, thank you! ''[Shrek opens his door, Donkey charges into the hovel]'' :'''Shrek''': Ah! What are you... No, no, no! :'''Donkey''': This is gonna be fun. We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin', ''[pauses out for a few 2nds]'' I'm makin' waffles! :'''Shrek''': Ohh! :'''Donkey''': Where do, uh, I sleep? :'''Shrek''': ''Outside!'' :'''Donkey''': Oh, ah, I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know. ''[sniffs]'' Here I go. Good night. ''[sighs]'' ''[Shrek slamshuts the door]'' :'''Donkey''': I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was born outside. I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. Sit by myself, outside. ''[singing]'' I'm all alone, ''['''Shrek''': Donkey, be quiet!]'' there's no one here beside me. ''[to Shrek]'' Oh, sorry. ''[Donkey walks from outside, Shrek goes to the house]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[At dinner]'' :'''Shrek''': I thought I told you to stay outside. :'''Donkey''': I am outside. :''[Shrek hears skittering. He spins to look and he whips around to see Three Blind Mice stumbling around on his dinner table]'' :'''Mouse #1''': Well, gents, it's a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we have? :'''Mouse #2''': Well, it's not home, but it'll do just fine. :''[Shrek starts toward the table. Mouse 3 walks up to Shrek's ear wax candle. Mouse 1 bounces on Shrek's squid]'' :'''Mouse #3''': What a lovely bed! :'''Shrek''': Gotcha! :'''Mouse #3''': I've found some cheese! :''[Mouse 3 takes a bite of the ear wax candle and spits it out]'' :'''Shrek''': Ow! :'''Mouse #3''': Blah! Awful stuff. :'''Mouse #2''': Is that you Gorder?! :'''Mouse #3''': How did you know? :'''Shrek''': Enough! What are you doing in my house? Hey! Oh, no, no, no, no! Get your off the table. <hr width="50%"/> :''[A masked man named Thelonious is torturing the Gingerbread Man. He's continually dunking him in a glass of milk. A prince named Lord Farquaad puts his gloves on and walks in]'' :'''Gingerbread Man''': ''[Off-screen]'' No! ''[makes mumbling noises when trying to talk in the milk]'' :'''Lord Farquaad''': ''[his first words]'' That's enough! He's ready to talk. ''[puts him down; Farquaad laughs, then signals for the table to lower]'' Run, run, run, as you fast as you can. You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man! :'''Gingerbread Man''': You're a monster. :'''Lord Farquaad''': I'm not the monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now, tell me! Where are the others?! :'''Gingerbread Man''': Eat me! ''[spits at Farquaad]'' :'''Lord Farquaad''': ''[grunts]'' I've tried to be fair with you creatures, but now my patience has reached its end! Tell me, or I'll-- :''[Farquaad reaches to pull off one of Gingerbread Man's buttons]'' :'''Gingerbread Man''': No! Not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons! :'''Lord Farquaad''': All right, then, who's hiding them?! :'''Gingerbread Man''': Okay! I'll tell you. Do you know the muffin man? :'''Lord Farquaad''': The muffin man? :'''Gingerbread Man''': The muffin man. :'''Lord Farquaad''': Yes. I know the muffin man. Who-who lives on Drury Lane? :'''Gingerbread Man''': Well, she's married to the muffin man. :'''Lord Farquaad''': The muffin man?! :'''Gingerbread Man''': THE MUFFIN MAN! :'''Lord Farquaad''': She's married to the muffin man. :'''Captain of the Guard''': ''[his last words]'' My lord! We found it. :'''Lord Farquaad''': Well, then what are you waiting for? Bring it in. ''[Guards hang a shrouded figure from a chain. They pull the cover off, revealing an ornate, full-sized mirror. A terrified face appears in the mirror]'' :'''Gingerbread Man''': Ohhh... :'''Lord Farquaad''': Magic Mirror. :'''Gingerbread Man''': Don't tell him anything! ''[Farquaad drops him in the trash can]'' No! :'''Lord Farquaad''': Evening. Mirror, mirror, on the wall, is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? :'''Magic Mirror''': Well, technically, you're not a king. :'''Lord Farquaad''': Uh, Thelonious? ''[Thelonious the executioner smashes a small looking glass]'' You were saying? :'''Magic Mirror''': ''[nervous]'' What I mean is, you're not a king '''''yet!''''' But you can become one! All you have to do is marry a princess. :'''Lord Farquaad''': Go on. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Shrek and Donkey are now walking through the sunflower fields heading away from Duloc. Shrek is munching on an onion as he makes a mess in the fields]'' :'''Donkey''': Okay, so let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad will give you back a swamp which you only don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place. Is that about right? :'''Shrek''': You know, maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk. :'''Donkey''': I don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that ogre stuff on him? Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grinds his bones to make your bread, the whole ogre trip. :'''Shrek''': Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you? :'''Donkey''': Uh, no, not really, no. :'''Shrek''': For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think. :'''Donkey''': Example? :'''Shrek''': Example? Okay, um, ogres are like onions. ''[he holds out his onion]'' :'''Donkey''': ''[sniffs the onion]'' They stink? :'''Shrek''': Yes - - No! :'''Donkey''': Or they make you cry? :'''Shrek''': No! :'''Donkey''': Oh, you leave them in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs. :'''Shrek''': No! Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres have layers! Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers. ''[he throws away the onion and walks off]'' :'''Donkey''': Oh, you both have layers. Oh. ''[sniffs]'' You know, not everybody likes onions. Cake! ''[trailing after Shrek]'' Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers. :'''Shrek''': I don't care... what everyone likes. Ogres are not like cakes. ''[walks passed Donkey]'' :'''Donkey''': You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfaits"? Parfaits are delicious. :'''Shrek''': ''[yelling angrily; and losing patience]'' NO! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story. Bye-bye. ''[whispers]'' See you later. :'''Donkey''': Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet. :'''Shrek''': You know, I think I preferred your humming. :'''Donkey''': Do you have a tissue or something? I'm making a mess. Just the word parfait makes me start slobbering. :''[They head off. There is a montage of their journey. Walking through a field at sunset. Sleeping beneath a bright moon. Shrek burns his foot trying to stomp out the campfire, so Donkey urinates on the fire to put it out. They arrive at the outskirts of a giant volcano and begin to make their way up]'' :'''Donkey''': ''[sniffs]'' Whew! Shrek! Did you do that? You gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was open and everything. :'''Shrek''': Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead. (sniffs) It's brimstone. We must be getting close. :'''Donkey''': Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking about it's the brimstone. I know what I smell. It wasn't no brimstone. It didn't come off no stone neither. :''[They reach the top of the climb and hoist themselves up and over the ridge] :''[Shrek and Donkey gaze out into the crater. The Dragon's Keep towered before them, a dilapidated castle, burned and blackened. Perched on a rock pinnacle, it was surrounded by a terrifying lake of molten lava. A single light shines in the window of the tallest tower. Dark clouds block out the blue sky above them. Thunder strikes and crows circling the castle can be heard. It's all very ominous like '''[[w:Sleeping Beauty (1959 film)|Sleeping Beauty]]'''.]'' :'''Shrek''': Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location. ''[laughs]'' :''[Shrek jumps over and approaches the bridge, with Donkey joining in behind him]'' :'''Donkey''': ''[chuckles along nervously]'' Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when you said that ogres have layers? :'''Shrek''': Oh, aye. :'''Donkey''': Well, I have a bit of a confession to make (gasps, seeing the skeleton of a horse). Donkeys don't have layers. We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves. :'''Shrek''': Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves. :'''Donkey''': You know what I mean. :'''Shrek''': Oh, you can't tell me you're afraid of heights. :'''Donkey''': No, I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over a boiling lake of lava! :'''Shrek''': Come on, Donkey. I'm right here beside ya, okay? For emotional support. We'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step at a time. :'''Donkey''': Really? :'''Shrek''': Really, really. :'''Donkey''': Okay, that makes me feel so much better. :'''Shrek''': Just keep moving. And don't look down. :'''Donkey''': ''[nervously to himself]'' Okay, don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down. Keep on moving. Don't look down. :''[Donkey accidentally steps through a rotting board, which falls down into the fiery lava below]'' :'''Donkey''': Shrek! I'm lookin' down! ''[screams]'' Oh, God, I can't do this! Just let me off, please! :'''Shrek''': But you're already halfway. :'''Donkey''': But I know that half is safe! :'''Shrek''': Okay, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back. :''[Shrek tries to press on while Donkey tries to make his way back under Shrek]'' :'''Donkey''': Shrek, no! Wait! :'''Shrek''': Just, Donkey - - Let's have a dance then, shall we? ''[bounces and sways the bridge]'' :'''Donkey''': Don't do that! :'''Shrek''': Oh, I'm sorry. Do what? Oh, this? ''[bounces the bridge again]'' :'''Donkey''': Yes, that! :'''Shrek''': Yes? Yes, do it. Okay. ''[continues to bounce and sway as he backs Donkey across the bridge]'' :'''Donkey''': No, Shrek! No! Stop it! :'''Shrek''': You said do it! I'm doing it. :'''Donkey''': I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek, I'm gonna die. ''[steps onto solid ground]'' Oh! :'''Shrek''': That'll do, Donkey. That'll do. ''[walks toward the castle]'' :'''Donkey''': Cool. So where is this fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway? :'''Shrek''': Inside, waiting for us to rescue her. ''[chuckles]'' :'''Donkey''': I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek. :''[The pair start making their way through the hallways of the dragon's dark and spooky keep. Shrek is wary, while Donkey is downright terrified. Only an occasional torch lights the way. The passages are littered with bones, armor, and weapons, presumably belonging to the many unsuccessful knights who tried to rescue the princess like a '''[[w:Virtual Hydlide|Virtual Hydlide]]''', '''[[w:The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past|The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past]]''' and '''[[w:Shining Wisdom|Shining Wisdom]]'''.]'' :'''Donkey''': ''[whispers nervously]'' You afraid? :'''Shrek''': No. But.... ''[shushes Donkey in the fear of awakening the dragon]'' :'''Donkey''': ''[sighs]'' Oh, good. Me neither. ''[gets spooked and gasps]'' 'Cause there's nothing wrong with being afraid. Fear's a sensible response to an unfamiliar situation. Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I might add. With a dragon that breathes fire and eats knights and breathes fire. It sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little scared. I sure as heck ain't no coward. I know that. :''[Donkey crashes into a pile of knight remains, knocking over a skeleton whose helmet lands on Donkey's head. The skeleton head falls off and Donkey gasps]'' :'''Shrek''': Donkey, 2 things, okay? Shut. Up. Now go over there and see if you can find any stairs (grabs the helmet and puts it on) :'''Donkey''': Stairs? I thought we was looking for the princess. :'''Shrek''': ''[picking up pieces of armor]'' The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower. :'''Donkey''': What makes you think she'll be there? :'''Shrek''': I read it in a book once. ''[walks off]'' :'''Donkey''': Cool. You handle the dragon. I'll handle the stairs. I'll find those stairs. I'll whip their butt too. Those stairs won't know which way they're going. :''[Shrek, now disguised as a knight in shining armor walks off further into the castle. Donkey wanders off in the opposite direction, still talking to himself, and pushes his way through a giant set of doors]'' :'''Donkey''': I'm gonna take drastic steps. Kick it to the curb. Don't mess with me. I'm the stair master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a step right here. I'd step all over it. :''[Behind a broken wall, a giant eye opens to see an unaware Donkey. Elsewhere, Shrek spots a light in the window of a tower]'' :'''Shrek''': Well, at least we know where the princess is. But where's the... :'''Donkey''': DRAGON!!!!!! :''[Donkey screams and takes off running, narrowly dodging the dragon's fiery breath. The dragon chases after Donkey, stomping on the pile of knight remains in her way. Shrek turns around to see Donkey barreling toward him with the dragon close behind him]'' :'''Shrek''': Donkey, look out! :''[Shrek manages to grab Donkey out of the way just as the dragon breathes another fireball. Donkey drops to the floor to avoid another fireball, which manages to singe the tuft of his tail. The dragon is just about to eat Donkey when Shrek grabs ahold of her tail]'' :'''Shrek''': Got ya! :''[The dragon begins to swing her tail back and forth with Shrek still holding on, then launches him into the air. Shrek crashes through the roof of the tallest tower and into Fiona's room. Fiona wakes up and looks at him lying on the floor unconscious. The dragon now focuses her attention on Donkey, breathing fire at him and forcing him onto a stone bridge. The dragon knocks down portions of the bridge until Donkey is left staying on a lone pillar]'' :'''Donkey''': No. Oh, no, No! ''[the dragon growls]'' Oh, what large teeth you have! ''[the dragon roars]'' I mean white, sparkling teeth! :''[The dragon pauses, looks at him inquisitively, and then smiles. Donkey might just flatter his way out of becoming dragon food) :'''Donkey''': I know you probably hear this all time from your food, but you must bleach, 'cause that is one dazzling smile you got there. Do I detect a hint of minty freshness? :''[The dragon appears to be flattered by Donkey's compliments]'' :'''Donkey''': And you know what else? You know what else? You're-- You're-- :''[The dragon leans forward and gazes at Donkey, revealing its long eyelashes and lipsticked mouth. Suddenly it was all clear to Donkey]'' :'''Donkey''': --a girl dragon! Oh, sure! I mean, of course you're a girl dragon. You're just reeking of feminine beauty. ''[The dragon flutters her eyes at him]'' What's the matter with you? You got something in your eye? :''[Dragon blows a heart-shaped smoke ring at Donkey]'' :'''Donkey''': Ohh. Oh. Oh. Man, I'd really love to stay, but you know, I'm, uh... ''[coughs]'' I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd work out if you're gonna blow smoke rings and stuff. Shrek! :''[Dragon picks him up by the tail in her mouth and happily carries him off]'' :'''Donkey''': No! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! :''[Shrek groans as he regains consciousness. His back is to a Princess Fiona, laying upright on the bed near the window. Though a bit startled, she is ecstatic to see her knight-in-shining armor. She straightens her dress, lays back down, and then quickly reaches over for bouquet of flowers off the side table. She lays back down and pretends to be asleep, clutching the bouquet to her breast. Shrek turns, takes note of the princess and walks across the room over to her. He bends down over to Fiona and she puckers her lips. Shrek takes her by the shoulders and forcefully shakes her]'' :'''Princess Fiona''': Wha...Wha... :'''Shrek''': Wake up! :'''Princess Fiona''': What?! :'''Shrek''': Are you Princess Fiona? :'''Princess Fiona''': I am... ''[smiling]'' awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me. :'''Shrek''': Ah, that's nice. Now let's go! :''[Shrek turns to leave and Fiona quickly sits upright]'' :'''Princess Fiona''': But wait, Sir Knight! This be-ith our first meeting. Should it not be a wonderful, romantic moment? :''[she tosses the bouquet and lays back down, swooning]'' :'''Shrek''': Yeah, sorry, lady. There's no time. :''[Shrek walks back, yanks Fiona's arm. and hauls her out of bed and toward the door]'' :'''Princess Fiona''': Hey, wait. What are you doing? You know, you should sweep me off my feet out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed. :''[Shrek yanks on the door handle only for it to snap off]'' :'''Shrek''': You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you? :'''Princess Fiona''': Mm-hmm. ''[screams as Shrek suddenly smashes the door down with his shoulder, still holding onto her arm. He rushes down the tower's staircase in tow and grabs a torch]'' But we have to savor this moment! You could recite an epic poem for me. :''[Shrek and Fiona cross the bridge connecting the tallest tower to the rest of the castle]'' :'''Princess Fiona''': A ballad? A sonnet! A limerick? Or something! :''[Fiona pulls her arm from Shrek's grip. They stop for a moment as Shrek figures out which direction to go]'' :'''Shrek''': I don't think so. :'''Princess Fiona''': Well, can I at least know the name of my champion? :'''Shrek''': Uh, Shrek. :'''Princess Fiona''': Sir Shrek. ''[she smiles, clears her throat, and holds out a handkerchief]'' I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude. :'''Shrek''': Thanks! :''[Shrek regards the handkerchief curiously and wipes his sooty face with it, blackening it. He hands it back to an appalled Fiona, but before she can react, they are startled by the dragon's roar as she drops it to the floor]'' :'''Princess Fiona''': You didn't slay the dragon?! :'''Shrek''': It's on my to-do list, now come on! :''[Shrek grabs Fiona once again and takes off running toward the direction of the dragon's roar]' :'''Princess Fiona''': But this isn't right! You were meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying. That's what all the other knights did! :'''Shrek''': Yeah, right before they burst into flames! :''[He gestures at the skeleton of a knight laying against the wall, a charred outline of a man burned into the stone behind it]'' :'''Princess Fiona''': That's not the point! Ugh! :''[Fiona pulls her arm free from Shrek and stops running. Shrek pauses to look around and heads for a set of wooden doors]'' :'''Princess Fiona''': Wait, where are you going? The exit's over there! :''[she points her arm to her left and Shrek turns around]'' :'''Shrek''': Well, I have to save my ass. :'''Princess Fiona''': What kind of knight are you? :'''Shrek''': One of a kind. :''[Shrek quietly pushes open the doors, stepping out onto a balcony of large spacious room. In the center of the room, Dragon has Donkey wrapped up on her tail. Dragon sits on a floor littered with a horde of gold coins and jewels]'' :'''Donkey''': Slow down. Slow down, baby, please. Look I believe it's healthy to get to know someone over a long period of time. Just, just call me old-fashioned. I don't want to rush into a... a physical relationship. I'm not...not emotionally ready for a commitment of, uh, this, uh - - "magnitude" really is the word I'm looking for. Magnitude. :''[Dragon gently caresses Donkey with a single claw]'' :'''Donkey''': Hey, that is unwanted physical contact. Hey, what are you doing? :''[Dragon looks up at the chandelier hanging above them and gently lights its candles with her fire breath]'' :'''Donkey''': Okay, okay. Let's just back up a little and take this one step at a time. I mean we really should get to know each other first, you know, as friends or maybe even pen pals. Y'know cause I'm on the road a lot, but I just love receiving cards to read -- :''[Shrek jumps off the balcony, grabbing a chain connected to the chandelier. The chain does not hang low enough for him to be able to grab Donkey and sends him swinging over Dragon. The chain swings back and ends up dangling him above her]'' :'''Donkey''': Oh y'know I'd, I'd really love to stay, but -- :''[Dragon tugs at Donkey's tail with her mouth]'' :'''Donkey''': Hey. hey don't do that! That's my tail! That's my personal tail. You're gonna tear it off. I don't give permission to-- hey! What are you gonna do with that? :''[Dragon purses her lips and gets ready to kiss Donkey. Shrek looks up and spots that the chain is jammed above him. He starts shaking it to try and relapse it from the pulley. Suddenly the pulley comes loose and Shrek starts falling]'' :'''Donkey''': Hey, now. No way. No! No! No, no! No. No, no, no. No! Oh! :''[Shrek lands on Donkey and bumps him out of Dragon's grasp just as she is about to kiss him, and now instead kisses Shrek's butt. She opens her eyes and roars. Shrek lets go of the chain and the chandelier falls onto her head, which acts as a collar around her neck. She roars again and Shrek and Donkey take off running. They dodge a blast of fire from Dragon. Shrek grabs Donkey in one arm and then grabs Princess Fiona, who has wandered into the room, with the other arm as he runs past her]'' :'''Donkey''': Hi, Princess! :'''Princess Fiona''': It talks! :'''Shrek''': Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick. :''[They all gasp as Shrek suddenly stops, having reached the end of the balcony Shrek spots a fallen column that has formed a sort of slide. He jumps on it just as Dragon tries to bite them and slides down it. Unfortunately there is a crack in the stone, which hits Shrek right in the crotch. His eyes cross and as he reaches the bottom of the slide, he groans and stumbles off. Dragon chases after them, the chain of the chandelier still unraveling. They are chased by Dragon through a large hall, her chain looping itself around multiple stone pillars as Shrek zigzags around them. Dragon ends up in front of them and breathes fire. Shrek dodges the fire and runs away, leaping over several rows of chains. He comes to a halt]'' :'''Shrek''': Okay, you 2, head for the exit! ''[setting down Donkey and Fiona]'' I'll take care of the dragon. :''[Shrek grabs a sword lodged in the floor and sticks it through a link in the chain and deep into the floor. Shrek catches up with Donkey and Fiona, who are waiting near the exit]'' :'''Shrek''': Run! :''[They sprint as fast as they can out of the castle and onto the rickety bridge as Dragon breathes a huge fireball behind them. As they reach the middle of the bridge the fire burns the bridge, which snaps in half. They hang onto the bridge as they are swung to the other side. Donkey, unable to grab on, falls off but Shrek catches him by the leg. Fiona screams in horror as Dragon flies over the boiling lava to get them. Suddenly the chandelier pulls Dragon back, the sword having lodged itself into a stone column and getting the chain stuck. The group quickly climbs up to safety. Dragon lets out a defeated roar, then gives a sad whimper]'' ==''Shrek in the Swamp Karaoke Dance Party''== :'''Shrek''': Hi everybody, and welcome to the Shrek in the Swamp Karaoke Dance Party. ''[turns on the radio]'' I'm gonna take things down a little bit with one of my personal favorites. ==See also== * ''[[Shrek 2]]'' * ''[[Shrek the Third|Shrek 3]]'' * ''[[Shrek Forever After|Shrek 4]]'' * ''[[Puss in Boots (2011 film)|Puss in Boots]]'' * ''[[Puss in Boots: The Last Wish|Puss in Boots 2]]'' * ''[[w:Shrek (franchise)|Shrek 5]]'' * ''[[w:Shrek (franchise)|Donkey]]'' * ''[[w:Shrek (franchise)|Puss in Boots 3]]'' ==Taglines== * The greatest fairy tale never told. * The Prince isn't charming. The Princess isn't sleeping. The sidekick isn't helping. The ogre is the hero. Fairy tales will never be the same again. ==Voice Cast== * '''[[w:Mike Myers|Mike Myers]]''' — [[w:Shrek (character)|Shrek]], Blind Mouse #2 * '''[[Eddie Murphy]]''' — [[w:Donkey (Shrek)|Donkey]] * '''[[Cameron Diaz]]''' — [[w:Princess Fiona|Princess Fiona]] * '''[[w:John Lithgow|John Lithgow]]''' — [[w:Lord Farquaad|Lord Farquaad]] * '''[[w:Vincent Cassel|Vincent Cassel]]''' — Monsieur Robin Hood * '''[[w:Peter Dennis|Peter Dennis]]'''<br>'''Clive Pearse''' — Ogre Hunters * '''[[w:Jim Cummings|Jim Cummings]]''' — Captain of the Guards * '''Bobby Block''' — Baby Bear * '''[[w:Chris Miller (animator)|Chris Miller]]''' — Geppetto, Magic Mirror * '''[[w:Cody Cameron|Cody Cameron]]''' — Pinocchio, Three Little Pigs * '''[[w:Kathleen Freeman|Kathleen Freeman]]''' — Old Woman * '''Michael Galasso''' — Peter Pan * '''[[w:Christopher Knights|Christopher Knights]]''' — Blind Mouse #1, Thelonious * '''[[w:Simon J. Smith|Simon J. Smith]]''' — Blind Mouse #3 * '''[[w:Conrad Vernon|Conrad Vernon]]''' — Gingerbread "Gingy" Man * '''Jacquie Barnbrook''' — Wrestling Fan * '''Guillaume Aretos'''<br>'''John Bisom'''<br>'''Matthew Gonder'''<br>'''Calvin Remsberg'''<br>'''[[w:Jean-Paul Vignon|Jean-Paul Vignon]]''' — Merry Men * '''[[w:Val Bettin|Val Bettin]]''' — Bishop * '''[[w:Aron Warner|Aron Warner]]''' — Big Bad Wolf (''uncredited'') * '''[[Frank Welker]]''' — [[w:Dragon (Shrek)|Dragon]] (''uncredited'') * '''[[w:Andrew Adamson|Andrew Adamson]]''' — Duloc Mascot, Ogre Hunter (''uncredited'') * '''Sim Evan-Jones''' — Ogre Hunter (''uncredited'') * '''[[w:Elisa Gabrielli|Elisa Gabrielli]]''' — Additional Voices (''uncredited'') ==External Links== {{wikipedia}} * {{imdb title|id=0126029|title=Shrek}} {{Shrek}} {{Authority control}} [[Category:2001 animated films]] [[Category:2001 American animated films]] [[Category:American films]] [[Category:American computer-animated films]] [[Category:American children's animated adventure films]] [[Category:American children's animated comedy films]] [[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]] [[Category:Films based on novels]] [[Category:Best Animated Feature Academy Award winners]] [[Category:Shrek]] [[Category:United States National Film Registry films]] [[Category:Films about royalty]] [[Category:Animated films set in castles]] [[Category:Films set in the Middle Ages]] [[Category:Animated films about dragons]] [[Category:Animated buddy films]] [[Category:Films about witchcraft]] [[Category:2000s English-language films]] gm3nl634w3y2jk0mbr2cb6ow1mc0k67 0 2153 3942044 3941605 2026-05-17T12:33:39Z Joreberg 323041 /* May 2026 */ MAGA Republicans, who are actually close to 100% of the Party, hate Fox 3942044 wikitext text/x-wiki <!-- This is a controversial subject. Please note that Wikiquote is not censored. --> {{Too-long}} [[File:Donald Trump official portrait.jpg|thumb|I don't do it for the [[money]]. I've got enough, much more than I'll ever need. I do it to do it. Deals are my art form.]] '''[[w:Donald Trump|Donald John Trump]]''' (born [[June 14]], [[1946]]) is an American [[w:Political career of Donald Trump|politician]], [[w:Media career of Donald Trump|media personality]], and [[w:Business career of Donald Trump|businessman]] who is serving as the [[w:List of presidents of the United States|47th]] [[President of the United States|president]] of the [[United States|United States of America]] since January 20, 2025. He previously served as the 45th president from 2017 to 2021. :See also: ::'''''[[Quotes about Donald Trump]]''''' ::'''''[[Donald Trump on social media]]''''' ::'''''[[First presidency of Donald Trump]]''''' ::'''''[[Second presidency of Donald Trump]]''''' ::'''''[[Racial views of Donald Trump]]''''' ::'''''[[Trumpism]]''''' [[lv:Donalds Trumps]] ==Quotes== [[File:Donald Trump by Gage Skidmore.jpg|thumb|I stand before you now as proof that you should never believe that something is impossible to do. In America, the impossible is what we do best... We will stand bravely, we will live proudly, we will dream boldly, and nothing will stand in our way because we are Americans.]][[File:January 2025 Official Presidential Portrait of Donald J. Trump.jpg|thumb| I believe it is God’s job to sit in judgment; my job, to defend America and to promote the fundamental interests of stability, prosperity, and peace. [https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2025/05/trump-immoral-world-order/682826/ ]]][[File:Cabinet Meeting (49092290281).jpg|thumb| They let&mdash;I think the real number is 15, 16 million people into our country. When they do that, we got a lot of work to do. They’re poisoning the blood of our country.[https://variety.com/2024/biz/news/donald-trump-god-rnc-nomination-1236077838/]|alt=File:Main-qimg-021d8d22e0438179020144bbb4821733.jpg]][[File:Shinzo Abe and Donald Trump playing golf.jpg|thumb| That's one of the nice things. I mean, part of the beauty of me is that I'm very rich. So if I need $600 million, I can put $600 million myself. That's a huge advantage. I must tell you, that's a huge advantage over the other candidates.[https://nypost.com/2024/07/25/us-news/trump-hopes-us-obliterates-iran-if-hes-assassinated-by-the-american-adversary/]]] [[File:This was the President Donald Trump's first trip aboard Air Force One (cropped).jpg|thumb|I know the best people. To me, it's all about people. You got to have the right people. When we have the right people, it runs beautifully[https://www.foxnews.com/media/trump-tells-bronx-barbershop-what-he-would-do-differently-elected-second-time-its-all-about-people]]] ===1980s=== * '''Rona Barrett''': If you lost your fortune today, what would you do tomorrow?<br>'''Donald Trump''': Maybe I’d run for president. I don’t know. ** An [https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-stat/graphics/politics/trump-archive/docs/rona-barrett-1980-interview-of-donald-trump.pdf interview] with [[w:Rona Barrett|Rona Barrett]] (1980) * '''Rona Barrett''': Would you like to be the [[President of the United States]]?<br>'''Donald Trump''': I really don't believe I would, Rona. But I would like to see somebody as the president who could do the job, and there are very capable people in this country.<br>'''Barrett''': Why wouldn't you dedicate yourself to public service?<br>'''Trump''': Because I think it's a very mean life. I would love, and I would dedicate my life to this country but I see it as being a mean life, and I also see it in somebody with strong views, and somebody with the kind of views that are maybe a little bit unpopular, which may be right, but may be unpopular, wouldn't necessarily have a chance of getting elected against somebody with no great brain but a big smile. ** An [https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-stat/graphics/politics/trump-archive/docs/rona-barrett-1980-interview-of-donald-trump.pdf interview] with [[w:Rona Barrett|Rona Barrett]] (1980) * '''Rona Barrett''': How would you like to be remembered?<br>'''Donald Trump''': Well, as somebody that’s contributed something to the United States and to the [[New York City|City of New York]], and to the various other places that I’m going, and somebody that’s done a little bit better than other people at what he does. ** An [https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-stat/graphics/politics/trump-archive/docs/rona-barrett-1980-interview-of-donald-trump.pdf interview] with [[w:Rona Barrett|Rona Barrett]] (1980) * I said, 'I will build you this incredible, gorgeous, gleaming hotel. I will put people to work in the construction trades and save hotel [[jobs]] and the Grand Central area will come around.' So the city made the deal. ** {{citation |title=The Empire and Ego of Donald Trump |journal=The New York Times |date=August 7, 1983 |first=Marilyn |last=Bender |url=http://www.nytimes.com/1983/08/07/business/the-empire-and-ego-of-donald-trump.html }} * "Give them the old Trump bullshit," he told the architect Der Scutt before a presentation of the [[w:Trump Tower|Trump Tower]] design at a press conference in 1980. "Tell them it is going to be a million square feet, sixty-eight stories." ** [[Marie Brenner]] "After the Gold Rush", ''[[w:Vanity Fair (magazine)|Vanity Fair]]'' (September 1, 1990) * Some people have an ability to [[negotiate]]. It's an [[art]] you're basically born with. You either have it or you don't. * It would take an hour-and-a-half to learn everything there is to learn about missiles. I think I know most of it anyway. You're talking about just getting updated on a situation ** {{citation |title=Donald Trump, Holding All The Cards The Tower! The Team! The Money! The Future! |journal=Washington Post |date=November 15, 1984 |first=Lois |last=Romano |url=https://www.washingtonpost.com/pb/archive/lifestyle/1984/11/15/donald-trump-holding-all-the-cards-the-tower-the-team-the-money-the-future/8be79254-7793-4812-a153-f2b88e81fa54/?resType=accessibility }}, talking about his desire to be involved in negotiations with the then Soviet Union * I have featured and will always continue to feature my name prominently in all my [[enterprises]]. **''[[w:Business Week|Business Week]]'' (July 22, 1985) * I look at things for the art sake and the beauty sake and for the deal sake. **''[[w:New York (magazine)|New York]]'' (July 11, 1988), p. 24 * I'm not big on [[compromise]]. I understand compromise. Sometimes compromise is the right answer, but oftentimes compromise is the equivalent of [[Failure|defeat]], and I don't like being defeated. **''[[w:Life (magazine)|Life]]'', Vol. 12 (January 1989), p. iii * [[Ed Koch|Mayor Koch]] has stated that hate and rancor should be removed from our hearts. I do not think so. **[http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1838466.1403324800!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_970/trump21n-1-web.jpg "Bring Back the Death Penalty. Bring Back Our Police!"] An advert taken out by Trump in the [[w:New York Daily News|''New York Daily News'']] and other newspapers in the wake of the arrests of the [[wikipedia:Central Park jogger case|Central Park Five]] (whose convictions were eventually {{w|vacate}}d in 2002 after Matias Reyes confessed to the assault) (May 1, 1989) * How can [[w:Society of the United States|our great society]] tolerate the continued brutalization of [[w:Citizenship of the United States|its citizens]] by crazed misfits? [[w:Crime in the United States|Criminals]] must be told that their [[w:Civil liberties in the United States|CIVIL LIBERTIES]] END WHEN AN ATTACK ON OUR SAFETY BEGINS! **[http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1838466.1403324800!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_970/trump21n-1-web.jpg "Bring Back the Death Penalty. Bring Back Our Police!"] An advert taken out by Trump in the ''New York Daily News'' and other newspapers in the wake of the arrests of the [[wikipedia:Central Park jogger case|Central Park Five]] (whose convictions were eventually {{w|vacate}}d in 2002 after Matias Reyes confessed to the assault) (May 1, 1989) * Let [[w:Politics of the United States|our politicians]] give back our [[w:New York City Police Department|police department]]'s power to keep us safe. Unshackle them from the constant chant of "[[w:Police brutality in the United States|police brutality]]" which every [[w:Misdemeanor|petty criminal]] hurls immediately at an officer who has just risked his or her life to save another's. ** [http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1838466.1403324800!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_970/trump21n-1-web.jpg "Bring Back the Death Penalty. Bring Back Our Police!"] An advert taken out by Trump in the New York Daily News and other newspapers in the wake of the arrests of the [[wikipedia:Central Park jogger case|Central Park Five]] (whose convictions were eventually {{w|vacate}}d in 2002 after Matias Reyes confessed to the assault) (May 1, 1989) * Of course I hate these people and let's all hate these people because maybe hate is what we need if we're gonna get something done. ** In [http://www.cnn.com/2016/10/07/politics/trump-larry-king-central-park-five/index.html 1989 interview] with {{W|Larry King}}, about the [[wikipedia:Central Park jogger case|Central Park Five]] (whose convictions were later vacated) * I like to hire people that I've seen in action. I often hire people that were on the opposing side of a deal that I respect. **''[[w:The Washington Post|The Washington Post]]'' (September 23, 1989), as quoted in ''The World According to Trump'' (2005) by Ken Lawrence, p. 25 * I think if this country gets any kinder or gentler, it's literally going to cease to exist. **''[[w:Playboy (magazine)|Playboy]]'' (March 1990) ====''[[w:Trump: The Art of the Deal|Trump: The Art of the Deal]]'' (1987)==== {{main|The Art of the Deal}} * I don't do it for the money. I've got enough, much more than I'll ever need. I do it to do it. Deals are my art form. * I like thinking big. I always have. To me it's very simple: if you're going to be thinking anyway, you might as well think big. Most people think small, because most people are afraid of success, afraid of making decisions, afraid of winning. And that gives people like me a great advantage. * I'm a great believer in asking everyone for an opinion before I make a decision. ... I ask and I ask and I ask, until I begin to get a gut feeling about something. And that's when I make a decision. I have learned much more from conducting my own random surveys than I could ever have learned from the greatest of consulting firms. * You can't con people, at least not for long. You can create excitement, you can do wonderful promotion and get all kinds of press, and you can throw in a little hyperbole. But if you don't deliver the goods, people will eventually catch on. * You can't be scared. You do your thing, you hold your ground, you stand up tall, and whatever happens, happens. ===1990=== [[File:Universal_health_care.svg|thumb|I'm very [[liberal]] when it comes to [[health care]]. I believe in {{w|universal health care}}. I believe in whatever it takes to make people well and better.]] [[File:Goddess_of_Democracy_at_UBC.jpg|thumb|upright|When the students poured into Tiananmen Square, the Chinese government almost blew it. Then they were vicious, they were horrible, but [[w:Tiananmen Square protests of 1989|they put it down with strength]]. That shows you the power of strength.]] * What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to each new twist of fate. ** ''Trump: Surviving at the Top'' (1990), p. 3 *She turned out to be the wife of a man who was then the prime minister of a major country. I'd heard stories about this lady, but I never thought much of them until that night. We met at the house of the friend who'd phoned me. After we'd all chatted for a while in the living room, the four of us who already knew each other drifted out to the kitchen, leaving Ben and Madame X in the living room to get better acquainted. Which they did. In fact, when we drifted back in, about ten minutes later, she and Ben were involved in an incredibly torrid scene on the couch. I remember standing there and thinking to myself, "Well, Donald, you're not in Queens anymore." ** ''Trump: Surviving at the Top'' (1990), p. 52 * "When a man leaves a woman, especially when it was perceived that he has left for a piece of ass—a good one!—there are 50 percent of the population who will love the woman who was left," he told me. ** {{citation |date=September 1, 1990|title=After the Gold Rush |periodical=Vanity Fair |url=https://www.vanityfair.com/magazine/2015/07/donald-ivana-trump-divorce-prenup-marie-brenner}} by [[Marie Brenner]] * "I want five children, like in my own family, because with five, then I will know that one will be guaranteed to turn out like me," Donald told a close friend. ** {{citation |date=September 1, 1990 |author=Marie Brenner |title=After the Gold Rush |periodical=Vanity Fair |url=https://www.vanityfair.com/magazine/2015/07/donald-ivana-trump-divorce-prenup-marie-brenner}} * Very good question. (pause) I don't think it's a sin but I don't think it should be done. ** in response to the question, "Is [[adultery]] a sin." ** in the ''[[New York Post]]'' (February 23, 1990), as [http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/10/30/donald-trump-in-1990-adultery-is-not-a-sin.html archived at ''the Daily Beast''] * [[Leona Helmsley]] is a truly evil human being. She treated employees worse than any human being I've ever witnessed and I've dealt with some of the toughest human beings alive. ** {{citation |year=1990 |month=March |author=Glenn Plaskin |title=The Playboy Interview with Donald Trump |periodical={{w|Playboy}} |url=https://www.playboy.com/read/playboy-interview-donald-trump-1990}} * When [[1989 Tiananmen Square protests|the students poured into Tiananmen Square]], the {{w|Chinese government}} almost blew it. Then they were vicious, they were horrible, but they put it down with strength. That shows you the power of strength. ** {{citation |year=1990 |month=March |author=Glenn Plaskin |title=The Playboy Interview with Donald Trump |periodical={{w|Playboy}} |url=https://www.playboy.com/read/playboy-interview-donald-trump-1990}}, quoted in {{citation |date=2016-10-20 |title=Bury Trump in a Landslide |periodical={{w|New York Daily News}} |url=http://interactive.nydailynews.com/2016/10/daily-news-editorial-bury-trump-in-landslide/}} * I said to the [[bankers]], "Listen, fellows, if I have a problem, then you have a problem. We have to find a way out or it's going to be a difficult time for both of us." ** ''Fortune'' (August 13, 1990), as quoted in ''The World According to Trump'' (2005) by Ken Lawrence, p. 44 ** Cf. [[J. Paul Getty]]: "If you owe the bank $100, that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem." ===1991=== * You know, it doesn't really matter what the media writes as long as you've got a young and beautiful piece of ass. ** [http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/news/a24057/donald-trump-presidential-run-2016-072913/ Esquire Interview] (1991) ===1992=== * You have to treat 'em [women] like s--- {{sic}} ** Reported in {{cite news |title=Fighting Back: Trump Scrambles off the Canvas |first=Julie |last=Baumgold |work=New York |volume=25 |number=44 |date=1992-11-09 |page=43 |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=BeUCAAAAMBAJ&q=%22trump+is+talking+about+women+and+says%22#v=snippet&q=%22trump%20is%20talking%20about%20women%20and%20says%22&f=false}}. Bowdlerization in the original. * Wow! Just think — in a couple of years I'll be dating you. ** to two 14-year-old girls in 1992 ** from the {{w|Chicago Tribune}}, as archived at [http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2016/10/13/in_1992_trump_told_two_14_year_old_girls_in_a_couple_of_years_i_ll_be_dating.html Slate] * He's a good guy, and he's not going to hurt anybody. . . . He treated his wife well and . . . he will treat Marla well. :Actresses, people that you write about just call to see if they can go out with him and things. :I mean, he's living with Marla and he's got three other girlfriends. :He does things for himself. When he makes a decision, that will be a very lucky woman. :* Speaking about himself under the pseudonym of [[w:Pseudonyms of Donald Trump#"John Miller" (1991)|John Miller]] in [https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2016/05/13/transcript-the-full-text-of-john-miller-interview-about-donald-trump-with-people-reporter/?tid=a_inl a 1991 interview with a ''People'' reporter], [https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2016/05/13/transcript-the-full-text-of-john-miller-interview-about-donald-trump-with-people-reporter/?tid=a_inl Donald Trump masqueraded as publicist to brag about himself], Washington Post * I'm gonna be dating her in ten years. ** of a 10-year-old girl, in 1992 ** {{citation |date=2016-10-13 |author=Emily Schultheis |title=More allegations, questionable Trump comments on women surface |periodical=CBS News |url=http://www.cbsnews.com/news/more-unearthed-footage-trump-says-of-10-year-old-i-am-going-to-be-dating-her-in-10-years/}} ===1993=== * '''Howard Stern''': So, you treat women with respect?<br>'''Donald Trump''': Uh, I can't say that either.<br>'''Stern''': Alright, good. ** An interview on ''[[w:The Howard Stern Show|The Howard Stern Show]]'', 1993 * You know, if you’re young, and in this era, and if you have any guilt about not having gone to Vietnam, we have our own Vietnam—it’s called the dating game... Dating is like being in Vietnam. You’re the equivalent of a soldier going over to Vietnam. ** An interview on ''The Howard Stern Show'', 1993, [https://people.com/politics/trump-boasted-of-avoiding-stds-while-dating-vaginas-are-landmines-it-was-my-personal-vietnam/ archived by ''People''] *I am not a {{w|law enforcement officer}}. I am not supposed to be going around checking {{w|Indian reservation}}s. That is what you have [[w:Federal Bureau of Investigation#Indian reservations|the FBI for]], and they are very capable, the most capable. **Oversight Hearing Before the Subcommittee on Native American Affairs of the Committee on Natural Resources, House of Representatives, October 5, 1993: In ''Implementation of Indian Gaming Regulatory Act: Oversight Hearing Before the Subcommittee on Native American Affairs of the Committee on Natural Resources, House of Representatives, One Hundred Third Congress ... Public Law 100-497, the Indian Gaming Regulatory Act of 1988'', Part 5, page 187 ===1994=== * Well, I think that she's got a lot of [[w:Marla Maples|Marla]] [Maples, Trump's second wife], she's a really beautiful baby, and she's got Marla's legs. We don't know whether she's got this part yet [gestures toward own chest], but time will tell... ** [http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2016/04/06/video_donald_trump_on_his_one_year_old_daughter_s_brests.html On his then-one year old daughter Tiffany], ''Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous'', 1994 *Everybody's always blaming me for everything. **16 May 1994 in "For Sale by Owner" s4e24 of "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air", [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_wcNmQ_hEk&t=70 video here] ===1996=== * Let's make a deal; if you promise not to get "personal" with me, I will promise not to show you as the crude, fat and obnoxious slob which everyone knows you are. Sincerely, Donald J. Trump. ** [http://www.palmbeachdailynews.com/lifestyles/before-twitter-name-calling-letter-from-donald-trump/KaGSV40cQnefESyXhe5CuN/ Letter to journalist Shannon Donnelly], 1996 ===1997=== *“It’s amazing, I can’t even believe it. I’ve been so lucky in terms of that whole world, it is a dangerous world out there. It’s like Vietnam, sort of. It is my personal Vietnam. I feel like a great and very brave solider” **speaking of having [[sex]] and referring to women's genitals as “potential landmines”. ** An interview on ''The Howard Stern Show'', 1997, [https://people.com/politics/trump-boasted-of-avoiding-stds-while-dating-vaginas-are-landmines-it-was-my-personal-vietnam/ archived by ''People''] ===1999=== * I'm [[w:Conservatism in the United States|conservative]], and even very [[conservative]]. But I'm quite [[w:Liberalism in the United States|liberal]] and getting much more [[w:Healthcare reform debate in the United States#Liberal arguments|liberal on health care]] and other things. I really say: What's the purpose of a country if you're not going to have defensive and [[health care]]? If you can't take care of your sick in the country, forget it, it's all over. I mean, it's no good. So I'm very liberal when it comes to health care. I believe in {{w|universal health care}}. I believe in whatever it takes to make people well and better. ** [http://edition.cnn.com/ALLPOLITICS/stories/1999/10/08/trump.transcript/ Interview with Larry King] ''CNN'' (October 1999) * I surround myself with the best people. I know the best people. ** On an interview (1999 November 26) * The part of my life I think I'm most disappointed in is that I have not had the great marriage. And I would have thought that would have happened, because I came from a home—you know, it's not like some of my [[Friend|friends]], they get divorced, but their parents were divorced twice or three times. I came from a home where marriage was just incredible. I mean, my parents truly loved each other. ** ''Good Morning America'' (2 December 1999), as quoted in ''The World According to Trump'' (2005) by Ken Lawrence, p. 46 * I'm on the conservative side, but [[Pat Buchanan|[Pat] Buchanan]] is [[Attila]] the Hun. ** As quoted in ''Selected Quotes from Newsweek Magazine, 1999'' — {{cite web |url=https://web.archive.org/web/20001015150910/http://www.sph.umich.edu/~rwatt/old_nw3.htm |title=Richard Watanabe - Newsweek Quotes, 1999 |publisher=Sph.umich.edu |date= |accessdate=2010-06-13}} * People want me to [run for president] all the time … I don't like it. Can you imagine how controversial I'd be? You think about him ''[Bill Clinton]'' and the women. How about me with the women? Can you imagine? ** On ''{{W|Hardball with Chris Matthews}}'', as quoted in {{citation |date=1999-07-12 |author=Deborah Orin |title=Trump ‘toys’ with prez run |periodical={{w|New York Post}} |url=http://nypost.com/1999/07/12/trump-toys-with-prez-run}} ===2000=== * I generally oppose [[w:Gun control in the United States|gun control]], but I support the ban on [[assault weapon]]s. **{{cite book |title=[[w:The America We Deserve|The America We Deserve]] |authorlink1=w:Donald Trump |first1=Donald |last1=Trump |first2=Dave |last2=Shiflett |year=2000 |publisher=[[w:Renaissance Books|Renaissance Books]] |isbn=1580631312}}; {{cite news |title=Trump's Evolving Positions on Gun Issues |first1=Linda |last1=Qiu |first2=Kitty |last2=Bennett |date=March 12, 2018 |newspaper=[[w:The New York Times|The New York Times]] |accessdate=September 6, 2018 |url=https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/12/us/politics/trump-evolving-positions-gun-issues.html}} * So the [[wikipedia:Reform Party of the United States of America|Reform Party]] now includes a Klansman, Mr. [[David Duke|Duke]], a [[neo-Nazi]], Mr. Buchanan, and a [[communist]], [[w:Lenora Fulani|Ms. Fulani]]. This is not company I wish to keep. ** As quoted in {{cite news |last= |first= |date=14 February 2000 |title=QUOTATION OF THE DAY |url=http://www.nytimes.com/2000/02/14/nyregion/quotation-of-the-day-815233.html |newspaper=The New York Times |location= |access-date= }}<!--{{cite news |last1=Kaczynski |first1=Andrew |last2=Massie| first2=Christopher |date= Aug. 26, 2015, at 11:27 p.m. |title=Top Racists And Neo-Nazis Back Donald Trump |url=http://www.buzzfeed.com/andrewkaczynski/meet-the-prominent-white-nationalists-fired-up-to-support-do#.vuV8WvAdp |newspaper=BuzzFeed News |location= |access-date= }}--> * I judge people based on their capability, honesty, and merit. ** [https://books.google.com/books?id=smMEAAAAMBAJ&pg=PA23&dq=%22Trump%20towers%22 "Trump towers"], interview with Paul Alexander, ''The Advocate'' (15 February 2000), p. 23 * It's very possible that I could be the first [[w:United States presidential election|presidential candidate]] to run and make money on it. ** Reported by Jerry Useem, [http://fortune.com/2000/04/03/what-does-donald-trump-really-want/ "What Does Donald Trump Really Want?"], ''Fortune'', 3 April 2000. ===2002=== * I think the regulations are very tough, but I think they could be made tougher. And where they really have to be made tougher is when somebody is proven [[w:Unfair business practices|to be dishonest]], not a mistake, not an honest mistake because look, people make bad business deals all the time. When somebody is proven to be dishonest, really harsh punishment has to take place. **''[[w:Hardball with Chris Matthews|Hardball with Chris Matthews]]'' (15 July 2002), as quoted in ''The World According to Trump'' (2005) by Ken Lawrence, p. 23 * '''[[Howard Stern]]''': Are you for [[w:2003 invasion of Iraq|the invasion of Iraq]]? * '''Donald Trump''': Yeah, I guess so. I wish, uh, I wish [[Gulf War|the first time]] it was done correctly. ** Interview on [[wikipedia:The Howard Stern Show|Howard Stern Show]] (11 September 2002), reported by ''[https://www.buzzfeed.com/andrewkaczynski/in-2002-donald-trump-said-he-supported-invading-iraq-on-the? BuzzFeed]'' (19 February 2016) * I've known Jeff for fifteen years. Terrific guy. He's a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side. No doubt about it — Jeffrey enjoys his social life. ** On [[w:Jeffrey Epstein|Jeffrey Epstein]]. Quoted in ''[https://nymag.com/nymetro/news/people/n_7912/ New York]'', 28 October 2002. * I don't know how you do it. I've put together some really impressive deals, but this thing you've pulled off, it's amazing: a Big N' Tasty for just a dollar. How do you do it? What's your secret? Together Grimace, we could own this town. ** Trump's lines in a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4QNXnNftWk McDonald's advert] (2002), quoted in {{citation|date=2019-01-15|author=Rachel Desantis|title=Donald Trump’s lifelong love of fast food, from his 2002 McDonald’s commercial to ‘hamberders’|periodical=New York Daily News|url=https://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/ny-news-donald-trump-has-always-loved-fast-food-20190115-story.html}} ===2003=== * I love beautiful women, and beautiful women love me. It has to be both ways. ** Interview with Norwegian talk show host [[wikipedia:Fredrik Skavlan|Fredrik Skavlan]] in (November 2003).{{fix cite}}<!-- published/quoted where? --> ===2004=== *Trump: My daughter is beautiful, Ivanka<br>Stern: By the way, your daughter,<br>Trump: She’s beautiful<br>Stern: Can I say this? A '''piece of ass'''<br>Trump: Yeah **September 2004 exchange with [[Howard Stern]] [https://www.cnn.com/2016/10/08/politics/trump-on-howard-stern reported in 2016 by CNN] * Now, if your boss is a sadist, then you have a big problem. In that case, fire your boss and get a new job. ** ''Trump: How to Get Rich'' (2004) * If you don't tell people about your success, they probably won't know about it. ** ''Trump: How to Get Rich'' (2004), p. xiii * Get going. Move forward. Aim high. Plan for a takeoff. Don't just sit on the runway and hope someone will come along and push the airplane. It simply won't happen. Change your attitude and gain some altitude. Believe me, you'll love it up here. ** ''Trump: How to Get Rich'' (2004), p. 74 * In business—every business—the bottom line is understanding the process. If you don't understand the process, you'll never reap the rewards of the process. ** ''Trump: How to Get Rich'' (2004), p. 86 * Watch, listen, and learn. You can't know it all yourself—anyone who thinks that they do is destined for mediocrity. ** ''Trump: The Way to the Top: The Best Business Advice I Ever Received'' (2004), p. 20 * I don't like firing people. It's not a pleasant thing and it's sad. ... In some cases, it's a terrible, terrible situation for the person who gets fired, how strongly they take it. So it's not something that any rational or sane person can love doing, but it also happens to be a fact of life in business. ** ''Boston Herald'' (7 January 2004), as quoted in ''The World According to Trump'' (2005) by Ken Lawrence, p. 16 * People say, "Do you have the same opportunity today as you had years ago?" And I said, "Absolutely." You always have an opportunity. There's always an opportunity, especially in this country. ** [http://edition.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0403/21/le.00.html Late Edition with Wolf Blitzer], ''CNN'' (21 March 2004) * All of the women on [[w:The Apprentice (U.S. TV series)|''The Apprentice'']] flirted with me - consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected. **[http://www.nydailynews.com/archives/gossip/donald-cuomo-mario-fired-article-1.612165 Ny Daily News] (24 March 2004) * ''[On "You're fired!":]'' There's a beauty in those two words. When you utter those words, there's very little that can be said. There's a succinctness to those words. ** {{citation |title=Trump TV / 'The Apprentice' takes realistic inside look at corporate world |journal=San Francisco Chronicle |date=2004-03-28 |first=David |last=Armstrong |url=http://www.sfgate.com/business/article/Trump-TV-The-Apprentice-takes-realistic-2802491.php }} * My life is seeing everything in terms of "How would ''I'' handle that?" '''Look at the [[Iraq War|war in Iraq]] and the mess that we're in. I would never have handled it that way.''' Does anybody really believe that Iraq is going to be a wonderful democracy where people are going to run down to the voting box and gently put in their ballot and the winner is happily going to step up to lead the county? C'mon. Two minutes after we leave, there's going to be a [[revolution]], and the meanest, toughest, smartest, most vicious guy will take over. And he'll have [[w:Iraq and weapons of mass destruction|weapons of mass destruction]], which [[Saddam Hussein|Saddam]] didn't have. '''What was the purpose of this whole thing? Hundreds and hundreds of young people killed. And what about the people coming back with no arms and legs? Not to mention the other side. All those Iraqi kids who've been blown to pieces. And it turns out that all of the reasons for the war were blatantly wrong. All this for nothing!''' ** ''Esquire'' magazine (August 2004); [http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/interviews/a37230/donald-trump-esquire-cover-story-august-2004/ "Donald Trump: How I'd Run the Country (Better)" (18 August 2015)] * Pregnancy is "a wonderful thing for the woman, it's a wonderful thing for the husband, it's certainly an inconvenience for a business." ** About pregnancy (2004) * The concept of shaking hands is absolutely terrible, and statistically I’ve been proven right. ** Playboy, 2004 [https://eu.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2016/06/14/donald-trump-70-birthday-quotes/85619552/] * In many cases, I probably identify more as Democrat. It just seems that the [[economy]] does better under the [[Democrats]] than the [[Republicans]]. Now, it shouldn't be that way. But if you go back, I mean it just seems that the economy does better under the Democrats. ...But certainly we had some very good economies under Democrats, as well as Republicans. But we've had some pretty bad [[disaster]] under the Republicans. ** Said in an interview with CNN's [[Wolf Blitzer]], as quoted by {{citation |title=Trump in '04: 'I probably identify more as Democrat' | journal=CNN | author=Chris Moody | url=https://edition.cnn.com/2015/07/21/politics/donald-trump-election-democrat/index.html }} ===2005=== * I'll go backstage, before a show, and everyone's getting dressed and ready and everything else. And you know, no men are anywhere. And I'm allowed to go in because I'm the owner of the pageant and therefore I'm inspecting it. You know I'm inspecting, I want to make sure everything is good, the dresses, "Is everyone OK?", you know they're standing there with no clothes, "Is everybody OK?", and you see these incredible-looking women, and so I sort of get away with things like that. ** [https://soundcloud.com/user-735086019/101g1 Comments about his ownership of Miss Universe on the Howard Stern Show] (11 April 2005) * They had a person who was extremely proud that a number of the women had become doctors. And I wasn't interested. ** [https://soundcloud.com/user-735086019/101g1 Comments about his ownership of Miss Universe on the Howard Stern Show] (11 April 2005) * I did try and fuck her. She was married. '''I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn't get there.''' And she was married. Then all of a sudden I see her, she's now got the big phony tits and everything. She's totally changed her look. I've gotta use some [[w:Tic Tacs|Tic Tacs]], just in case I start kissing her. You know, I'm automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It's like a magnet. '''Just kiss. I don't even wait. When you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything... Grab 'em by the pussy. You can do anything.''' ** To {{w|Billy Bush}} in 2005; [http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/08/us/donald-trump-tape-transcript.html "Transcript: Donald Trump's Taped Comments About Women"], ''The New York Times'' (8 October 2016) ===2006=== * It would be really disappointing — not really — but it would depend on what’s inside the magazine. I don’t think Ivanka would do that, although she does have a very nice figure. I’ve said '''if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her'''. ** On 7 March 2006 during an appearance on the daytime talk show ''[[w:The View (talk show)|The View]]'' while discussing the possibility of [[Ivanka Trump]]’s posing for ''[[Playboy]]'' magazine. As quoted in ''[https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/donald-trump-date-daughter/ Did Donald Trump Say He’d Like to Date His Daughter?]'' by Dan Evon, 10 July 2015, ''{{w|Snopes}}'', and quoted with video clip in {{citation|date=2016-10-10|author=Adam Withnall|title=Donald Trump's unsettling record of comments about his daughter Ivanka|periodical=The Independent|location=UK|url=https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-elections/donald-trump-ivanka-trump-creepiest-most-unsettling-comments-a-roundup-a7353876.html}} originally reported in [https://www.today.com/popculture/trump-jokes-he-d-date-daughter-wbna11714379 7 March 2006 article on Today via AP] * I thought today's women were independent and had a lot of sexual freedom. ... Well, I guess they fooled me. ** In April 2006, about women's disaproval of {{w|one-night stand}}s. As quoted in ''[https://www.marketwatch.com/story/trump-on-clinton-in-2008-shed-make-a-good-president-2016-07-11 Trump on Clinton in 2008: ‘She'd make a good president']'' (July 11, 2016) by Michael Rothfield and {{w|Mark Maremont}}, ''{{w|MarketWatch}}''. *She’s actually always been '''very voluptuous'''. She’s tall, she’s almost six feet tall and she’s been, she’s an amazing beauty. **October 2006 interview with [[Howard Stern]] about [[Ivanka Trump]] reported [https://www.cnn.com/2016/10/08/politics/trump-on-howard-stern 2016 by CNN] * '''Jon Ward:''' There's a lot of talk, which you no doubt heard too, about a sort of [[real estate]] bubble. What's your take on that pessimism? * '''Donald Trump:''' Well, first of all, I sort of hope that happens because then people like me would go in and buy. ** ''How to Build a Fortune'' (2006), Trump University audiobook, quoted in {{citation|date=2016-05-19|author=Jeremy Diamond|title=Donald Trump in 2006: I 'sort of hope' real estate market tanks|periodical=CNN|url=https://www.cnn.com/2016/05/19/politics/donald-trump-2006-hopes-real-estate-market-crashes/index.html}} * No, I have no age — I mean, I have age limit. I don't want to be like Congressman Foley, with, you know, 12-year-olds, ** [https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/donald-trump-howard-stern-tapes-women-35_uk_57fa46e1e4b01fa2b904368b Donald Trump Howard Stern Tapes Show Him Saying 35 Is 'Check-Out Time' For Women And Agreeing His Daughter Is A 'Piece Of Ass'] (2006) When asked if he has an age limit for women he'll sleep with. ===2007=== * Since I love what I do, I do it vigorously and I do it better. Because I inject it with enthusiasm and passion, it doesn't feel like work. My passion spills over to everyone around me and motivates them to do their very best. ** ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=uuR61zcvMTgC&pg=PA1&lpg=PA1&dq=%22since+I+LOVE+WHAT+I+DO,+I+DO+IT+VIGOROUSLY%22&source=bl&ots=ko6GrZPr-e&sig=x3zLQ1fWbNJIrx-7M0CzI-zPljg&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjuncTq2OvRAhXCLMAKHTzHDNwQ6AEIGjAA#v=onepage&q=%22since%20I%20LOVE%20WHAT%20I%20DO%2C%20I%20DO%20IT%20VIGOROUSLY%22&f=false Trump 101 The Way to Success]'' (2007), p. 1 * Passion is absolutely necessary to achieve any kind of long-lasting success. I know this from experience. If you don't have passion, everything you do will ultimately fizzle out or, at best, be mediocre. ** ''Trump 101 The Way to Success'' (2007), p. 2 * [[Iraq War|The war]] is total disaster. It's a catastrophe, nothing less. It is such a shame that this took place. In fact, I gained a lot of respect for our current [[George H. W. Bush|president's father]] by the fact that he had the sense not to go in to [[Iraq]]. He won the war and then said let's not go the rest of the way and he turned out to be right. And [[Saddam Hussein]], whether they like him or didn't like him, he hated [[terrorists]]. He'd shoot and kill terrorists. When terrorists came in to his country, which he did control and he did dominate, he would kill terrorists. Now it's a breeding ground for terrorists. So, look, the war is a total catastrophe...and they have [[w:Sectarian violence in Iraq (2006–08)|a civil war]] going on. ** [http://www.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0703/16/sitroom.03.html Interview on "The Situation Room" with Wolf Blitzer] (16 March 2007) * I make that --- twice now, on a Monday I let returning Iraqi injured [[soldiers]] come to the premises. The most beautiful people I've ever seen. But they're missing arms and legs, they're with their wives, sometimes they're with their girlfriends. And the tears are coming down the faces of these people. I mean, thousands and maybe hundreds of thousands, and [[w:Casualties of the Iraq War#Total Iraqi casualties|the Iraqis that have been just maimed and killed]]. This war is a horrible thing. Now, President Bush says he's [[religious]]. And yet 400,000 people, the way I count it, have died, and probably millions have been badly maimed and injured. What's going on? What's going on? And the day we pull out it's going to explode. We're keeping the lid on a little bit. It's still a catastrophe, but the day we pull out, because they're in a [[w:Iraqi Civil War|civil war]]. Whether we want to admit it or not, they're in a civil war. ** [http://www.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0703/16/sitroom.03.html Interview on "The Situation Room" with Wolf Blitzer] (16 March 2007) * [[Hillary Clinton]] I think is a terrific woman. I am biased because I have known her for years. I live in New York. She lives in New York. I really like her and her husband both a lot. I think she really works hard. And I think, again, she's given an agenda, it is not all of her, but I think she really works hard and I think she does a good job. I like her. ** 2007 ''CNN'' interview, reported in [[w:Zeke J. Miller|Zeke J. Miller]], "[http://time.com/3962799/donald-trump-hillary-clinton/ When Donald Trump Praised Hillary Clinton]", ''[[w:Time (magazine)|Time]]'' (July 17, 2015). * {{w|Trump Steaks}} are the world's greatest steaks, and I mean that in every sense of the word. Treat yourself to the very, very best life has to offer you. And as a gift, Trump Steaks are the best you can give. One bite, and you'll know exactly what I'm talking about, and believe me. I understand steaks, it's my favorite food. ** Lines marking the introduction of Trump Steaks by The Sharper Image (2007) * My net worth fluctuates, and it goes up and down with the markets and with attitudes and with feelings, even my own feelings, but I try. ** Claimed in December 2007, quoted in [https://money.cnn.com/2011/04/21/news/companies/donald_trump/index.htm "Trump: I'm worth whatever I feel"], ''CNN'' (April 21, 2011) * Congratulations on being named Time magazine's 'Man of the Year' — you definitely deserve it. As you have probably heard, I'm a big fan of yours! ** [https://www.businessinsider.com/revealed-donald-trump-letters-to-vladimir-putin-miss-universe-russia-2020-8?r=US&IR=T Letter to Russian president Vladimir Putin] ===2008=== * They'll walk up, and they'll flip their top, and they'll flip their panties. ** [http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/donald-trump-details-sexual-attractions-relationships-radio-interviews/story?id=37190691 Interview on ''The Howard Stern Show''] (2008) * Hillary Clinton said she'd consider naming [[Barack Obama]] as her vice president when she gets the nomination, but she's nowhere near a shoo-in. ** About the [[w:Democratic Party presidential primaries, 2008|2008 Democratic Party presidential primaries]] in audio released by the ''Journal''. As quoted in ''[http://time.com/4402522/donald-trump-hillary-clinton-good-president/ Donald Trump Once Said Hillary Clinton Would Make A 'Good President']'' (July 12, 2016) by Tara John, ''{{w|The Times}}''. * For his part, Obama said he's just focused on winning the nomination although at least one member on his team said Clinton would make a good vice president. Well, I know her and she'd make a good president or good vice president. ** About the [[w:Democratic Party presidential primaries, 2008|2008 Democratic Party presidential primaries]] in an audio from "Trumped!", a syndicated radio feature that aired from 2004 to 2008. As quoted in ''[http://time.com/4402522/donald-trump-hillary-clinton-good-president/ Donald Trump Once Said Hillary Clinton Would Make A 'Good President']'' (July 12, 2016) by Tara John, ''{{w|The Times}}''. * It's very exciting we have a new president. It would have been nice if he ended with a 500 point up instead of down. It's certainly very exciting. His speech was great last night. I thought it was inspiring in every way. And, hopefully he's going to do a great job. But the way I look at it, he cannot do worse [[w:Presidency of George W. Bush|than Bush]]. ** [http://www.foxnews.com/story/2008/11/06/donald-trump-on-president-elect-obama-cannot-do-worse-than-bush.html "Donald Trump on President-Elect Obama: 'He Cannot Do Worse Than Bush'" Interview with Greta Van Susteren] [[Fox News]] (6 November 2008) ===2009=== * If I'd started in business thinking I knew everything, I'd have been sunk before I started... Never think of learning as being a burden or studying as being boring. It may require some discipline, but it can be an adventure. It can also prepare you for a new beginning. ** ''Think Like a Champion: An Informal Education In Business and Life'' (2009), pp. 16–17 * Without passion, you don't have energy; without energy, you have nothing. [[Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel|Nothing great in the world has been accomplished without passion.]] ** As quoted in ''Social Networking for Authors: Untapped Possibilities for Wealth'' (2009) by Michael Volkin, p. 60 *let's just talk. I'll give you as much time as you want. I'll tell you what you need to know **2009 to [[w:Bradley Edwards|Bradley Edwards]] (attorney prosecuting [[Jeffrey Epstein]]) as narrated by Edwards in December 2018 interview, according to [https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2019/07/prosecutor-in-2009-epstein-case-said-donald-trump-was-the-only-one-who-helped-him/ 7 July 2019 article by Joe Hoft of Gateway Pundit] ===2010=== *Well, I think I was born with a drive for success. I had a father who was successful. He was a builder in Brooklyn and Koreans. And he was successful. And, you know, I have a certain gene. I'm a gene believer. Hey, when you connect two race horses, you usually end up with a fast horse. And I really was -- you know, I had a -- a good gene pool from the standpoint of that. **[https://web.archive.org/web/20200924215510/https://us.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/1002/10/ctw.01.html CNN interview] (February 2010) ===2011=== * Part of the [[beauty]] of me is that I am very [[rich]]. ** Interview with [[w:Ashleigh Banfield|Ashleigh Banfield]] on ABC's ''[[w:Good Morning America|Good Morning America]]'' (17 March 2011); also in {{citation |date=2011-03-17 |author=Neil King Jr. |title=Trump on 2012: ‘Part of Beauty of Me Is I'm Very Rich’ |periodical=Washington Wire |publisher=Wall Street Journal |url=http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2011/03/17/trump-on-2012-part-of-beauty-of-me-is-im-very-rich/}} * They asked [[John McCain]] for his [[w:Birth certificate|birth certificate]]. They've asked others for their birth certificate. They asked Bush for his birth certificate, by the way. I just found out over the weekend. And they would ask me for my birth certificate and by the way, it's sitting on the top of my desk. They give you a certificate of live birth, which anybody can get, just walk into the hospital, and you get a certificate of live birth. It's not even signed by people. Now, this guy either has a birth certificate or he doesn't. And I didn't think this was such a big deal, but I will tell you, it's turning out to be a very big deal because people now are calling me from all over saying, please don't give up on this issue. If you weren't born in this country, [[w:Natural-born-citizen clause|you cannot be president]]. ** About [[w:Barack Obama citizenship conspiracy theories|Barack Obama's birth certificate]]. {{citation |title=Fox & Friends |medium=Television |publisher=Fox News |date=2011-03-28}} ** {{citation |title=Fox Goes Birther: Trump Tells Unquestioning Co-hosts, "I'm Starting To Wonder...Whether Or Not <nowiki>[Obama]</nowiki> Was Born In This Country" |journal=[[w:Media Matters for America|Media Matters for America]] |date=2011-03-28 |url=http://mediamatters.org/mmtv/201103280006 |accessdate=2011-03-30}} * So he could have come into the country, and they did it for social reasons they put it in! They did it for whatever reason. There are a lot of reasons you could have put an ad in. But he could have been born outside of this country. Why can't he produce a birth certificate and by the way, there is one story that his family doesn't even know what hospital he was born in! ** About [[w:Barack Obama citizenship conspiracy theories|Barack Obama's birth certificate]]. {{citation |title=Fox & Friends |medium=Television |publisher=Fox News |date=2011-03-28}} ** {{citation |title=Fox Goes Birther: Trump Tells Unquestioning Co-hosts, "I'm Starting To Wonder...Whether Or Not <nowiki>[Obama]</nowiki> Was Born In This Country" |journal=[[w:Media Matters for America|Media Matters for America]] |date=2011-03-28 |url=http://mediamatters.org/mmtv/201103280006 |accessdate=2011-03-30}} * I start off every time I talk about [[w:Barack Obama citizenship conspiracy theories#Campaigners and proponents|the birthers]], I start off by saying, and it's very interesting, I was a great student at the best college in the country. You know? I want to let people know. I'm a smart guy. Because what they do to the birthers, and I don't even like the term, the birthers. I think it's unfair to them. These are people that want to see a birth certificate. They want to know that the president was born here! ** About [[w:Barack Obama citizenship conspiracy theories|Barack Obama's birth certificate]]. {{citation |title=Fox & Friends |medium=Television |publisher=Fox News |date=2011-03-28}} ** {{citation |title=Fox Goes Birther: Trump Tells Unquestioning Co-hosts, "I'm Starting To Wonder...Whether Or Not <nowiki>[Obama]</nowiki> Was Born In This Country" |journal=[[w:Media Matters for America|Media Matters for America]] |date=2011-03-28 |url=http://mediamatters.org/mmtv/201103280006 |accessdate=2011-03-30}} * Because if you're not born in the United States, you cannot be president. And, there is a real question. And if this birth certificate exists, you know what I get a kick out of? [[w:Neil Abercrombie|The Governor of Hawaii]] says, "I remember when he was born 50 years ago." I doubt it. I think this guy should be investigated. I doubt it. He remembers when [[w:Early life and career of Barack Obama#Childhood years|Obama was born]]? Give me a break! He's just trying to do something for [[Democratic Party (United States)|his party]]. The fact is, if you're not born in the United States, you cannot be president. He is having a hard time — he spent millions of dollars trying to get away from this issue, millions of dollars in legal fees trying to get away from this issue. And I'll tell you what, I brought it up just routinely and all of a sudden, a lot of facts are emerging, and I'm starting to wonder myself whether or not he was born in this country. ** About [[w:Barack Obama citizenship conspiracy theories|Barack Obama's birth certificate]]. {{citation |title=Fox & Friends |medium=Television |publisher=Fox News |date=2011-03-28}} ** {{citation |title=Fox Goes Birther: Trump Tells Unquestioning Co-hosts, "I'm Starting To Wonder...Whether Or Not <nowiki>[Obama]</nowiki> Was Born In This Country" |journal=[[w:Media Matters for America|Media Matters for America]] |date=2011-03-28 |url=http://mediamatters.org/mmtv/201103280006 |accessdate=2011-03-30}} * '''Donald Trump''': Meredith, he spent two million dollars in legal fees trying to get away from this issue. And if he weren't lying, why wouldn't he just solve it? And I wish he would, because if he doesn't, it's one of the greatest scams in the history of [[politics]], and in the history period. You are not allowed to be a president if you're not born in this country. He may not be born in this country. And I'll tell you what, three weeks ago I thought he was born in this country. Right now, I have some real doubts. I have people that actually have been studying it and they cannot believe what they're finding.<br>'''Meredith Vieira''': You have people now, down there searching—<br>'''Trump''': Absolutely.<br>'''Vieira''': I mean, in [[Hawaii]]?<br>'''Trump''': Absolutely. And they cannot believe what they're finding. I would like to have him show his birth certificate, and can I be honest with you, I hope he can. Because if he can't, if he can't, if he wasn't born in this country, which is a ''real'' possibility, I'm not saying it hap— I'm saying it's a ''real'' possibility, much greater than I thought two or three weeks ago, then he has pulled one of the great cons in the history of politics. And beyond politics. **{{citation |title=Today |date=2011-04-07 |publisher=NBC |medium=Television}} ** regarding Barack Obama ** Two million dollars is the sum of all the Obama presidential campaign's post-election legal expenses.[http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2011/apr/12/donald-trump/donald-trump-claims-obama-has-spent-2-million-lega/] * '''[[w:David Brody (journalist)|David Brody]]''': [[Radical Islam]]: to [[Evangelicalism in the United States|Evangelicals]], this is a bread and butter issue. You said there's a [[Islam in the United States|Muslim problem]] in this country. What do you mean by that exactly? <br> '''Donald Trump''': [[Bill O'Reilly (commentator)|Bill O'Reilly]] asked me is there a Muslim problem? And I said absolutely, yes. In fact I went a step further. I said I didn't see [[Swedes|Swedish people]] [[September 11 attacks|knocking down the World Trade Center]]. It was very interesting. I thought that was going to be a controversial statement and somebody, I think it was [[Dennis Miller]] introduced me, he was doing like an analysis of me, he said, I love it. The guy said what the truth is. He didn't mince his words. He didn't say, 'Oh, gee, no there's not a Muslim problem, everybody's wonderful.' And by the way, many, many, most Muslims are wonderful people, but is there a Muslim problem? Look what's happening. Look what happened right here in my city with the World Trade Center and lots of other places. So I said it and I thought it was going to be very controversial but actually it was very well received. I think people want the truth. I think they're tired of politicians. They're tired of [[politically correct]] stuff. I mean I could have said, 'Oh absolutely not Bill, there's no Muslim problem, everything is wonderful, just forget about the World Trade Center.' But you have to speak the truth. We're so politically correct that this country is falling apart. <br>'''Brody''': With some evangelicals there are some problems with the teachings of the [[Koran]]. Do you have concerns about the Koran? <br> '''Trump''': Well, I'll tell you what. The Koran is very interesting. A lot of people say it [[w:Religious views on love#Islam|teaches love]] and there is a very big group of people who really understand the Koran far better than I do. I'm certainly not an expert, to put it mildly. But there's something there that teaches some very negative vibe. I mean things are happening, when you look at people blowing up all over the streets that are in some of the countries over in the [[Middle East]], just blowing up a super market with not even soldiers, just people, when 250 people die in a super market that are shopping, where people die in a store or in a street. There's a lot of hatred there that's some place. Now I don't know if that's from the Koran. I don't know if that's from some place else. But there's tremendous hatred out there that I've never seen anything like it. So, you have two views. You have the view that the Koran is all about love and then you have the view that the Koran is, that there's a lot of [[w:Violence in the Quran|hate in the Koran]]. ** On [[w:CBN News|CBN News]]' "The Brody File" (12 April 2011) ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWzDAvemJG8 video]) ([http://blogs.cbn.com/thebrodyfile/archive/2011/04/12/brody-file-exclusive-donald-trump-says-something-in-koran-teaches.aspx transcript]) * I look very much forward to showing my financials. Because they are huge. ** {{citation |first=Michael |last=Scherer |title=In the presence of Donald Trump |date=2011-04-11 |journal=Time |url=http://swampland.time.com/2011/04/14/in-the-presence-of-donald-trump/ |accessdate=2019-10-28}} * I heard he was a terrible student, terrible. How does a bad student go to Columbia and then [[w:Early life and career of Barack Obama#Harvard Law School|to Harvard]]? I'm thinking about it, I'm certainly looking into it. Let him show his records. ** Associated Press interview, 2011-04-25 ** {{citation |first=Lucy |last=Madison |title=Trump: How did Obama get into the Ivy League? |date=2011-04-25 |journal=CBS News |url=http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-20057214-503544.html |accessdate=2011-05-01|archiveurl=https://archive.is/dnCsg|archivedate=2013-06-28}} ** About [[w:Barack Obama#Education|Barack Obama's education]], who graduated from {{w|Columbia University}} in 1983 and graduated ''magna cum laude'' with a {{w|Juris doctorate}} from Harvard Law School in 1991 * Today I'm very [[proud]] of myself, because I've accomplished something that nobody else has been able to accomplish. I was just informed, while on the helicopter, that our president has finally released a birth certificate. I want to look at it, but I hope it's true, so that we can get on to much more important matters, so the press can stop asking me questions. He should have done it a long time ago. Why he didn't do it when the Clintons asked for it, why he didn't do it when everyone else was asking for it, I don't know. But I am really honored, frankly, to have played such a big role in hopefully, hopefully getting rid of this issue. Now, we have to look at it, we have to see, is it real? Is it proper? What's on it? But I hope it checks out beautifully. I am really proud, I am really honored. ** press conference, 2011-04-27 ** {{citation |title=Trump Questions Obama Birth Certificate |date=2011-04-27 |journal=TMZ |url=http://www.tmz.com/2011/04/27/donald-trump-barack-obama-birth-certificate-comment-quote/ |accessdate=2011-05-01}} ** Regarding the release of Barack Obama's full birth record from Hawaii that morning * The word is, according to what I've have read, is that he was a terrible student when he went to [[w:Occidental College|Occidental]]. He then gets to [[w:Columbia_University|Columbia]] and then gets to [[Harvard University|Harvard]]. I heard at Columbia he was not a very good student, and then he then he gets into Harvard. How do you get into Harvard if you are not a good student? Maybe that's right, maybe that's wrong, but I don't know why he doesn't he release his records. Why doesn't he release his Occidental records? ** press conference, New Hampshire, 2011-04-27 ** {{citation |title=Schieffer: Racism underlying Trump's assertions |date=2011-04-27 |journal=CBS News |url=http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-20058072-503544.html |accessdate=2011-05-01|archiveurl=https://archive.is/ryIny|archivedate=2013-06-28}} ** About [[Barack Obama]], who transferred to Columbia from Occidental College in 1981, graduated from Columbia in 1983, and graduated ''magna cum laude'' with a Juris doctorate from Harvard Law School in 1991 * It's like in [[golf]]. A lot of people — I don't want this to sound trivial — but a lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive. It's weird. You see these great players with these really long putters, because they can't sink three-footers anymore. And, I hate it. I am a [[Traditionalistic|traditionalist]]. I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be [[Homosexuality|gay]], but I am a traditionalist. **{{citation |title=After Roasting, Trump Reacts In Character |date=2011-05-01 |journal=New York Times |first=Michael |last=Barbaro |url=http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/02/nyregion/after-roasting-trump-reacts-in-character.html |accessdate=2011-05-06}} ** on his opposition to [[same-sex marriage]] * I know the [[Chinese people|Chinese]]. I've made a lot of money with the Chinese. I understand the Chinese mind. ** As quoted in {{citation |date=2011-05-03 |author=Tony Pierce |title=Donald Trump has read a lot of books on China: 'I understand the Chinese mind' |periodical=Los Angeles Times |url=http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2011/05/donald-trump-i-understand-the-chinese-mind.html}}, and in {{citation |date=2015-08-24 |author=John Mauldin |title=Playing the Chinese Trump Card |periodical=Forbes |url=http://www.forbes.com/sites/johnmauldin/2015/08/24/playing-the-chinese-trump-card/}} * I dealt with [[Muammar Gaddafi|Gaddafi]]. I rented him a piece of land. He paid me more for one night than the land was worth for two years, and then I didn't let him use the land. That's what we should be doing. I don't want to use the word 'screwed,' but I screwed him. That's what we should be doing. ** As quoted in {{citation |date=2015-07-22 |title=Donald Trump: In his own colourful words |periodical=BBC News |url=http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-33619045}} * She's a slob, she talks like a truck driver. * If I were running my business, I'd fire Rosie, I mean, I'd look her right in that fat ugly face of hers and say, "Rosie, you're fired." ** On an interview on why he hates [[Rosie O'Donnell]] (28 August 2011) *[[Barney Frank]] looked disgusting--nipples protruding--in his blue shirt before Congress. Very very disrespectful. * Twitter, quoted by the [https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/12/08/donald-trump-has-called-37-things-disgusting-on-twitter/ Washington Post] (20 December 2011) * Our president will start a war with [[Iran]] because he has absolutely no ability to negotiate. He is weak and he is ineffective. So the only way he figures he is going to be reelected and as sure as you are sitting there, is to start a war with Iran. ** A now-deleted video on his YouTube video blog. {{citation |date=2020-01-03 |title=Trump repeatedly claimed in 2011 and 2012 that Obama would start a war with Iran to win reelection |author=Andrew Kaczynski |periodical=CNN |url=https://edition.cnn.com/2020/01/03/politics/kfile-trump-obama-2012-iran-war-reelection/index.html}} ===2012=== * [[Mitt Romney|Mitt]] is tough. He is smart. He is sharp. He is not going to allow bad things to continue to happen to this country that we all love. So Gov. Romney, go out and get em. You can do it. ** Quoted in {{citation | date = 2012-02-02 | url = http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-57370443-503544/trump-endorses-mitt-romney-for-president/ | author = Corbett B. Daly | title = Trump endorses Mitt Romney for president | periodical = CBS News }} * No, I've never ''really'' changed. Nothing's ''changed'' my ''mind''. And by the way, you know, you have a huge group of people — I walk down the street, and people are screaming, "Please don't give that up." A lot of people are questioning his birth certificate. They're questioning the authenticity of his birth certificate. I've been known as being a very smart guy for a long time. I don't consider myself birther or not birther, but there are some major questions here and the press doesn't wanna cover it. The press just refuses to cover it. Now if that were somebody else, they would be covering it, and they'd be throwing people out of office. But they don't want to cover it. So it's interesting. ** {{citation | title = Telephone interview | publisher = CNBC | date = 2012-05-29 }}, quoted in {{citation | date = 2012-05-29 | title = Donald Trump Goes On Epic Birther Rant | newspaper = {{w|The Huffington Post}} | author = Melissa Jeltsen | url = http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/29/donald-trump-romney-obama-birther_n_1553074.html }} * '''Wolf Blitzer:''' Donald, you're beginning to sound a little ridiculous, I have to tell you.<br>'''Donald Trump:''' No I think you are, Wolf. Now let me tell you something, I think ''you'' sound ridiculous, and if you'd ask me a question and let me answer it —<br>'''Blitzer:''' Here's the question, did the conspiracy start in 1961 where the [[w:Honolulu Star-Bulletin|''Honolulu Star-Bulletin'']] and the [[w:Honolulu Advertiser|''Honolulu Advertiser'']] contemporaneously published announcements that he was born in [[Hawaii]]?<br>'''Trump:''' That's right. That's right. And many people put those announcements in because they wanted to get the benefit because of getting so-called born in this country. Many people did it. It was something that was done by many people even though they weren't born in the country. You know and so do I... And so do a lot of your viewers. Although you don't have too many viewers. * '''Donald Trump''' (clip): I have people that actually have been studying it and they cannot believe what they're finding.<br>'''Meredith Vieira''' (clip): You have people now, down there searching—<br>'''Trump''' (clip): Absolutely.<br>'''Vieira''' (clip): I mean, in Hawaii?<br>'''Trump''' (clip): Absolutely. And they cannot believe what they're finding.<br>'''Wolf Blitzer''': All right, tell us what your people who were investigating in Hawaii, what they found.<br>'''Trump''': Oh, we don't have to go into old news. That's ''old'' news.<br>'''Blitzer''': Well, what did they find?<br>'''Trump''': There's been plenty found. You can call many people. You can read many, many articles on the authenticity of the certificate. You can read many articles from just recently as to what the publisher printed in a brochure as to what Obama told him, as to where his place of birth is. And that's fine, Wolf.<br>Now, it's appropriate, I think, that we get to the subject of hand, which is — at hand, which is jobs, which is [[Economy of the United States|the economy]], which is how our country is not doing well at all under this leadership, which is how are we going to do something about energy, which is really that things that I wanted to talk to you about, but you like to keep going back to the place of birth. ** {{citation | title = The Situation Room | publisher = CNN | date = 2012-05-29 }}, quoted in {{citation | date = 2012-05-29 | title = Wolf Blitzer Spars With Donald Trump Over Obama's Birth Certificate | author = Elizabeth Flock | newspaper = US News & World Report | url = http://www.usnews.com/news/blogs/washington-whispers/2012/05/29/wolf-blitzer-spars-with-donald-trump-over-obamas-birth-certificate }} ** Referring to a 1991 promotional booklet by literary agency Acton & Dystel with bios of 89 authors, that erroneously described Barack Obama as "born in Kenya".[http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/birthers/booklet.asp] * He [Obama] lost the popular vote by a lot and won the election. We should have a [[revolution]] in this country! * The phoney [sic] electoral college made a laughing stock out of our nation. The loser one! * More votes equals a loss... revolution! * This election is a total sham and a travesty. We are not a democracy! * The [[w:United_States_Electoral_College|electoral college]] is a disaster for a democracy. ** Tweets on November 6 and 7, 2012, some of which were later deleted. Trump falsely believed Barack Obama had lost the popular vote. [https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/fact-checker/wp/2016/11/15/trumps-flip-flop-on-the-electoral-college-from-disaster-to-genius/ Trump’s flip-flop on the electoral college: From ‘disaster’ to ‘genius’] * [[Republicans]] didn't have anything going for them with respect to {{w|Latinos}} and with respect to [[Asian people|Asians]]... The [[Democrats]] didn't have a policy for dealing with illegal immigrants, but what they did have going for them is they weren't mean-spirited about it... They didn't know what the policy was, but what they were is they were kind... He had a crazy policy of self deportation which was maniacal... It sounded as bad as it was, and he lost all of the Latino vote... He lost the Asian vote. He lost everybody who is inspired to come into this country... Take care of this incredible problem that we have with respect to [[Immigration to the United States|immigration]], with respect to people wanting to be wonderful productive citizens of this country. ** Interview with Newsmax (November 2012), quoted in {{citation|date=2015-07-10|author=Jim Geraghty|title=Trump 2008: Bush Is Evil, Talk to Iran, Obama Cannot Do Worse Than Bush|periodical=National Review|url=http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/420996/trump-2008-bush-evil-talk-iran-obama-cannot-do-worse-bush-jim-geraghty}} *[climate change was] "created by and for the Chinese in order to make US manufacturing non-competitive" ** said in 2012 according to [https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-51213003 What does Trump actually believe on climate change?] *"It doesn't matter who you vote for--it matters who is counting the votes." Be careful of voter fraud!. Oct 10 2012 [https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/256063573669855232] ===2013=== * Must be a pretty picture you dropping to your knees. ** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7NDpHfXTCI " to Brande Roderick, From The Apprentice, Season 6, Episode 1"] (3 March 2013) <!-- ''YouTube'' --> * I keep asking, how long will we go on defending [[South Korea]] from [[North Korea]] without payment? South Korea is a very very rich country. They're rich because of us. They sell us [[Television|televisions]], they sell us cars. They sell us everything. They are making a fortune. We have a huge deficit with South Korea. They're friends of mine. I do deals with them. I've been partners with them, no problem. But they think we're stupid. They can't believe it. We are defending them against North Korea, we're doing it for nothing. We're not in that position. When will they start to pay us for this defense? Isn't it really ridiculous when you think of it? They make a fortune on the United States and then they got some problems, and what happens? They call the United States to defend them, and we get nothing? **[https://www.youtube.com/watch/?v=agk9ZCrYol4 "From the Desk of Donald Trump: South Korea"] ''[[w:YouTube|YouTube]]'' (10 April 2013) * I’m a very compassionate person (with a very high [[Intelligence quotient|IQ]]) with strong common sense. ** "[https://edition.cnn.com/2017/10/10/politics/donald-trump-tillerson-iq/index.html Donald Trump's IQ obsession, in 22 quotes]" (April 21, 2021) * I do have a relationship and I can tell you that he's very interested in what we're doing here today, he's probably very interested in what you and I are saying today, and I'm sure he is going to be seeing it in some form. But I do have a relationship with him, and I think, er, it's very interesting to see what's happened. I mean, look, he's done a very brilliant job in terms of what he represents and who he's representing, if you look at what he's done with Syria, if you look at so many of the different things, he has really eaten our president's lunch, let's not kid ourselves. ** [http://www.msnbc.com/thomas-roberts/watch/trump-discusses-putin-in-2013-734124099973 Trump responding to a question about whether he had a relationship with Vladimir Putin during an interview with MSNBC's Thomas Roberts while visiting Moscow for the Miss Universe competition] (November 2013) ===2014=== *Healthy young child goes to doctor, gets pumped with massive shot of many vaccines, doesn't feel good and changes - AUTISM. Many such cases! **Twitter, [https://x.com/realDonaldTrump/status/449525268529815552?lang=en 28 March 2014] * If this doctor, who so recklessly flew into New York from West Africa, has Ebola,then Obama should apologize to the American people & resign! ** [https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/trump-obama-ebola-tweet/ Snopes fact check: Did Trump Call for Obama to Resign After Ebola Doctor Returned to U.S.? (23 Oct)] ===2015=== ====May 2015==== * There is a way of beating [[Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant|ISIS]] so easily, so quickly, so effectively, and it would be so nice...I know a way that would absolutely give us guaranteed victory...the problem is then everybody will take the idea, run with it and then people will forget where it came from...'''I ran it past two or three people. [It's] so simple. It's like the paper clip.''' ** On his plan to defeat ISIS (May 2015) ====June 2015==== =====[[wikipedia:Donald Trump presidential campaign, 2016#Announcement|Presidential bid announcement]] (June 16, 2015)===== :<small>[https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/remarks-announcing-candidacy-for-president-new-york-city "Remarks Announcing Candidacy for President in New York City"], ''{{w|The American Presidency Project}}''</small> [[File:Donald_Trump_crop_2016.jpeg|thumb|Sadly, the [[American dream]] is dead. But if I get elected president, I will bring it back bigger and better and stronger than ever before, and we will [[w:Make America Great Again|make America great again]].]] * They all said, a lot of the pundits on television, "Well, Donald will never run, and one of the main reasons is he's private and he's probably not as successful as everybody thinks." So I said to myself, you know, nobody's ever going to know unless I run, because I'm really proud of my success. * Our country is in serious trouble. We don't have victories anymore. ... When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. ... When did we beat Japan at anything? They send their cars over by the millions, and what do we do? When was the last time you saw a [[Chevrolet]] in Tokyo? ... When do we beat Mexico at the border? '''They're laughing at us, at our stupidity.''' ... The U.S. has become a dumping ground for everybody else's problems. * '''When Mexico sends its people, they're not sending their best.''' They're not sending you. They're not sending you. They're sending people that have lots of problems, and they're bringing those problems with us. They're bringing drugs. They're bringing crime. They're rapists. And some, I assume, are good people. But I speak to [[wikipedia:United States Border Patrol|border guards]] and they tell us what we're getting. ... They're sending us not the right people. It's coming from more than Mexico. It's coming from all over South and Latin America, and it's coming probably – probably – from the Middle East. But we don't know. Because we have no protection and we have no competence, we don't know what's happening. And it's got to stop and it's got to stop fast. * I will build a great, great wall on our southern border. And I will have Mexico pay for that wall. * Sadly, the American dream is dead. But if I get elected president, I will bring it back bigger and better and stronger than ever before, and we will make America great again. ====July 2015==== * '''Donald Trump''': Oh, well, if you look at the statistics, of people coming— I didn't say about Mexic— I say the ''[[illegal immigrants]]''— if you look at the statistics on [[rape]], on [[crime]], on everything, coming in illegally into this country, they're mind-boggling. If you go to [[w:Fusion News|Fusion]], you will see a story about 80% of the women coming in– I mean, you have to take a look at these stories. And you know who owns Fusion? [[w:Univision|Univision]]. It was in ''[[w:The Huffington Post|The Huffington Post]]''. I said, let me get some of these articles because I've heard some horrible things. I deal<!--sic--> a lot of talking with people on the border patrol. They're incredible people. They help our country.<br>'''Don Lemon''': But I want some clarification–<br>'''Trump''': No, but Don, all you have to do is go to Fusion and pick up the stories on ''rape'', and it's unbelievable when you look at what's going on. So all I'm doing is telling the truth.<br>'''Lemon''': I've read ''The Washington Post'', I read the Fusion, I read ''The Huffington Post''. And that's about women ''being'' raped, it's not about criminals coming across the border entering the country.<br>'''Trump''': Somebody's doing the raping, Don, I mean, you know– I mean, somebody's doing it. You think it's women being raped, well who's doing the raping? Who's doing the raping? I mean how can you say such a thing. So, the problem is you have to stop illegal immigration coming across the border. You have to create a strong border. If you don't, we don't have a country. **{{citation | date = 2015-07-01 | title = The Situation Room | medium = TV | publisher = CNN | url = http://www.cnn.com/2015/07/01/politics/donald-trump-immigrants-raping-comments/ }} [[File:Donald_Trump_by_Gage_Skidmore_2.jpg|thumb|I can't apologize for the truth.]] * '''I can never apologize for the truth. I don't mind apologizing for things but I can't apologize for the truth.''' ** {{citation | date = 2015-07-02 | title = TRUMP: 'I use the word rape and all of a sudden everyone goes crazy' | author = | newspaper = finance.yahoo.com | url = https://finance.yahoo.com/news/trump-word-rape-sudden-everyone-172614480.html }} *The Obama Administration's agreement with Iran is very dangerous. Iran developing a nuclear weapon, either through uranium or nuclear fuel, and defying the world is still a very real possibility. The inspections will not be followed, and Iran will no longer have any sanctions. Iran gets everything and loses nothing. Every promise the Obama Administration made in the beginning of negotiations, including the vow (made at the beginning of the negotiations) to get our great American prisoners returned to the U. S. has been broken. This is a bad deal that sets a dangerous precedent. This deal sets off a nuclear arms race in the Middle East, which is the most-unstable region in the world. It is a horrible and perhaps catastrophic event for [[Israel]]. Furthermore, we should have kept the billions of dollars we have agreed to pay them. Any great dealmaker would know this is a perfect example of "tapping along" and because they have been unchecked for so long throughout this extremely lengthy process, I guarantee they are much closer to producing a nuclear weapon than they were at the start of negotiations. The fact is, the US has incompetent leaders and even more incompetent negotiators. We must do better for America and the world. We have to [[Make America Great Again]]. **[https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/statement-donald-j-trump-the-iran-agreement Statement by Donald J. Trump on the Iran Agreement], ''American Presidency Project'', 14 July 2015 * And I had an idea recently. When they send illegals into our country, we charge Mexico $100,000 for every illegal that crosses that border because it's trouble. ** {{citation | date = 2015-07-15 | title = Fox News "Hannity"- Transcript: Trump On El Chappo And Undocumented Immigration | author = | newspaper = Fox News | url = https://votesmart.org/public-statement/1113598/fox-news-hannity-transcript-trump-on-el-chappo-and-undocumented-immigration#.XxcUdZMzbOQ }} * '''Donald Trump:''' 15,000 people showed up to hear me speak. Bigger than anybody and everybody knows it. A beautiful day with incredible people that were wonderful, great Americans, I will tell you. [[John McCain]] goes, "Oh, boy, Trump makes my job difficult. He had 15,000 ''crazies'' show up." Crazies. He called them all crazy. I said, they weren't crazy. They were great Americans. These people— if you would have seen these people— you— I know what a crazy is. I know all about crazies. These weren't crazy. So he insulted me and he insulted everybody in that room...<br>'''Frank Luntz:''' He's a war hero.<br>'''Donald Trump:''' He's not a war hero.<br>'''Luntz:''' He's a war hero.<br>'''Trump:''' He is a war hero—<br>'''Luntz:''' Five and a half years in a POW camp.<br>'''Trump:''' He's a war hero 'cause he was captured. I like people that weren't captured, OK? I hate to tell you.<br>'''Luntz:''' Do you agree with that?<br>'''Trump:''' He's a war hero. He's a war hero because he was captured, OK? You can have— and I believe— perhaps he's a war hero, but— but right now he said some very bad things about a lot of people. ** Family Leadership Summit 2015, quoted in {{citation | date = 2015-07-18 | title = Donald Trump tells John McCain: 'I like people who weren't captured' | author = Harriet Alexander | newspaper = The Telegraph | url = http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/republicans/11748859/Donald-Trump-tells-John-McCain-I-like-people-who-werent-captured.html }} * Look, having nuclear—my uncle was a great professor and [[Scientists|scientist]] and [[Engineering|engineer]], Dr. John Trump at [[Massachusetts Institute of Technology|MIT]]; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the [[w:Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania|Wharton School of Finance]], very good, very smart—you know, if you're a [[Conservatism|conservative]] Republican, if I were a [[Liberalism|liberal]], if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I'm one of the smartest people anywhere in the world—it's true!—but when you're a conservative Republican they try—oh, do they do a number—that's why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune—you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we're a little disadvantaged—but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me—it would have been so easy, and it's not as important as these lives are (nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35&nbsp;years ago; he would explain the power of what's going to happen and he was right—who would have thought?), but when you look at what's going on with the four prisoners—now it used to be three, now it's four—but when it was three and even now, I would have said it's all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don't, they haven't figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it's gonna take them about another 150&nbsp;years—but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us. ** {{citation | date = 2015-07-21 | title = Speech in Sun City, South Carolina | author = | newspaper = Slate | url = http://www.slate.com/blogs/lexicon_valley/2015/07/31/donald_trump_this_run_on_sentence_from_a_speech_in_sun_city_south_carolina.html }} * If you can't get rich dealing with politicians, there's something wrong with you. ** [http://www.motherjones.com/mojo/2015/07/donald-trump-campaign-speech-lindsey-graham Campaign Rally in South Carolina] ** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImhJ2sFBJmA YouTube]<!--[Has to add exactly minute and second in this video]--> * I'm a Republican, I'm a conservative, I'm in first place, I want to run as a Republican and I think I'll get the nomination... [<nowiki/>[[Hillary Clinton]]] is easily the worst Secretary of State in the history of the country. She's going to be beaten and I'm the one to beat her. ** {{citation | date = 2015-07-23 | title = Donald Trump tours Mexican border with Texas | author = | newspaper = BBC | url = http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-33645971 }} * '''Jose Diaz-Balart:''' Mr. Trump, you know 53,000 [[w:Hispanic-American|Hispanics]] turn 18 years of age in this country every month, born in the country of voting age. 54 million plus Hispanics — many feel that what you said when you said that the people who cross the border are rapists and murderers—<br>'''Donald Trump:''' No, no, no! We're talking about [[w:Illegal immigration in the United States|illegal immigration]] and everybody understands that. And you know what? That's a typical case. That's a typical case of the press with misinterpretation. They take a half a sentence, they take a half a sentence, then they take quarter of a sentence and put it all together. It's a typical thing...<br>'''Diaz-Balart:''' I'm not finished with my question.<br>'''Trump:''' No, no! You're finished! **{{citation | date = 2015-07-23 | title = Crowd Erupts in Applause at How Donald Trump Handles MSNBC Host at Presser: 'You're Finished!' | author = Oliver Darcy | newspaper = TheBlaze | url = http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2015/07/23/crowd-erupts-in-applause-at-how-donald-trump-handles-msnbc-host-at-presser-youre-finished/ }} * I think that I would be a great uniter. I think that I would have great diplomatic skills. I think that I would be able to get along with people very well. I've had a great success in my life. I think the world would unite if I were the leader of the United States. ** {{citation | date = 2015-07-30 | title = Trump: 'World would unite if I were the leader' | author = Jesse Byrnes | newspaper = The Hill | url = http://thehill.com/blogs/ballot-box/presidential-races/249875-trump-world-would-unite-if-i-were-the-leader }} ====August 2015==== [[File:Donald_Trump_by_Gage_Skidmore_3.jpg|thumb|I do whine because I want to win and I’m not happy about not winning and I am a whiner and I keep whining and whining until I win.]] * I think the big problem this country has is being [[Political correctness|politically correct]]. ** Republican Presidential Debate 2015 — {{citation | date = 2015-08-06 | title = Annotated transcript: The Aug. 6 GOP debate | author = | newspaper = The Washington Post | url = https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2015/08/06/annotated-transcript-the-aug-6-gop-debate/ }} * You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever. ** [http://edition.cnn.com/2015/08/08/politics/donald-trump-cnn-megyn-kelly-comment/ On Megyn Kelly] (7 August 2015) * I cherish women. I want to help women. I'm going to do things for women that no other candidate will be able to do. ** {{citation | date = 2015-08-09 | title = 12 times Donald Trump declared his 'respect' for women | author = Gregoy Krieg | newspaper = CNN | url = https://edition.cnn.com/2016/10/07/politics/donald-trump-respect-women/index.html }} * I will be phenomenal to the women. I mean, I want to help women. ** ''Face the Nation'', 9 August 2015 *I think there has to be a trust. There actually has to be a trust. If you don't trust, you're not going to do very well. **In response to a reporter's line of questioning on what his specific plans will be to achieve the goals of his campaign. [http://www.cnsnews.com/news/article/melanie-hunter/trump-specifics-his-proposals-trust-me "Trump on Specifics of His Proposals: ‘Trust Me'"] (12 August 2015), by Melanie Hunter * We have to keep the families together, but they have to go. What if they have no place to go? ** During the [[w:Iowa State Fair|Iowa State Fair]] (2015 August 15) * You know, when you put out policy, like a 14-point plan? A lot of times in the first hour of negotiation, that 14-point plan goes astray, but you may end up with a better deal. That's the way it works. That's the way really life works. When I do a deal, I don't say, "Oh, here's 14 points." I got out and do it. I don't sit down and talk about 14 points. ** Appearance at Iowa State Fair - {{citation | date = 2015-08-15 | title = Donald Trump's surprisingly savvy analysis of American politics | author = | newspaper = The Washington Post | url= http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2015/08/16/donald-trumps-surprisingly-savvy-comment-about-american-politics/ }} {{Paywalled source}} *What's the difference between a wet raccoon and Donald J. Trump's hair? A wet raccoon doesn't have seven billion fucking dollars in the bank. **20 August 2015 roast on Comedy Central [https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-roast-364701 transcribed by Newsweek] * Hillary Clinton was the worst [[United States Secretary of State|Secretary of State]] in the history of the country. The world came apart under her reign... I will be the one to beat Hillary.<br>If you start adding it up, our real unemployment rate is 42%. ** {{citation | date = 2015-08-20 | title = Donald Trump Explains All | author = | newspaper = Time | url = http://time.com/4003734/donald-trump-interview-transcript/ }}. For a discussion of this figure, see [http://www.nytimes.com/2016/02/11/upshot/the-real-jobless-rate-is-42-percent-donald-trump-has-a-point-sort-of.html "The Real Jobless Rate Is 42 Percent? Donald Trump Has a Point, Sort Of"] by Neil Irwin, ''The New York Times'' (10 February 2016). * You've seen my statements, I do very well, I don't mind paying some taxes. The [[w:Middle class|middle class]] is getting clobbered in this country. You know the middle class built this country, not the hedge fund guys, but I know people in hedge funds that pay almost nothing and it's ridiculous. ** Interview on [[w:Bloomberg News|Bloomberg]]'s ''With All Due Respect'' — {{citation | date = 2015-08-26 | title = Donald Trump Says He Wants to Raise Taxes on Himself | author = David Knowles | newspaper = Bloomberg | url = http://www.bloomberg.com/politics/articles/2015-08-26/donald-trump-says-he-wants-to-raise-taxes-on-himself }} * I do whine because I want to win and I’m not happy about not winning and I am a whiner and I keep whining and whining until I win. ** Interview with [[w:Chris Cuomo|Chris Cuomo]]{{citation | date = 2015-08-11 | title = Donald Trump: ‘I keep whining and whining until I win’ | author = Jeremy Diamond | newspaper = CNN | url = https://www.cnn.com/2015/08/11/politics/donald-trump-refutes-third-party-run-report/index.html}} ====September 2015==== * We're a nation that speaks English. I think that, while we're in this nation, we should be speaking English... that's how we assimilate. ** {{citation | date = 2015-09-03 | title = Donald Trump: "While We're in This Nation, We Should Be Speaking English" | newspaper = The Hollywood Reporter | url = http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/donald-trump-speak-english-spanish-820215 }} * "''Look'' at that face! [of [[Carly Fiorina]]] Would anyone ''vote'' for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next ''president''?!" ** {{citation | date = 2015-09-09 | title = Trump Seriously: On the Trail With the GOP's Tough Guy | newspaper = Rolling Stone | url = http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/trump-seriously-20150909 }} * The fact is all lives matter. That includes black, and it includes white, and it includes everybody else. And we have... Democrats that are afraid to even say that. ** As quoted in {{citation | date = 2015-09-09 | title = Donald Trump trashes Black Lives Matter: 'I think they're trouble' | author = Colin Campbell | newspaper = Business Insider | url = http://uk.businessinsider.com/donald-trump-black-lives-matter-2015-9?r=US&IR=T }} * This is a country where we speak English, not Spanish. ** Criticizing Jeb Bush for speaking Spanish on the campaign trail during a Republican Presidential Debate on CNN (16 September 2015) * '''Audience member''': We have a problem in this country, it's called Muslims. Our current President is one. We know he's not even an American. We have training camps growing where they want to kill us. That's my question, when can we get rid of them? <br>'''Donald Trump''': We're going to be looking at a lot of different things. A lot of people are saying that and a lot of people are saying that bad things are happening out there. We're going to be looking at that and a lot of different things. ** At a town hall meeting in New Hampshire — as quoted in {{citation | date = 2015-09-17 | title = Here's How Donald Trump Responded to a Person Saying President Obama is Muslim | author = Maya Rhodan | newspaper = Time | url = http://time.com/4039658/trump-obama-muslim/ }} * Am I morally obligated to defend the president every time somebody says something bad or controversial about him? I don't think so! * This is the first time in my life that I have caused controversy by NOT saying something. ** Tweets — quoted in {{citation | date = 2015-09-20 | title = Trump defend Obama? 'I don't think so!' | author = Doina Chiacu | newspaper = Reuters | url = http://www.reuters.com/article/2015/09/20/us-usa-election-trump-idUSKCN0RJ0KT20150920 }} * You can be politically correct if you want, but are you trying to say we don't have a problem? ... Most Muslims, like most everything, I mean, these are fabulous people... But we certainly do have a problem, I mean, you have a problem throughout the world. ... It wasn't people from Sweden that blew up the World Trade Center. ** On CNN's "State of the Union" with Jake Tapper — as quoted in {{citation | date = 2015-09-20 | title = Trump: 'We certainly do have a problem' with some Muslims | author = Timothy Cama | newspaper = The Hill | url = http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/254307-trump-we-certainly-do-have-a-problem-with-some-muslims }} * The first thing I'd do in my first day as president is close up our borders so that illegal immigrants cannot come into our country. ** Twitter question and answer session from Twitter's New York office — as quoted in {{citation | date = 2015-09-21 | title = Trump: I'll close US borders 'in my first day' | author = Jesse Byrnes | newspaper = The Hill | url = http://thehill.com/blogs/ballot-box/presidential-races/254391-trump-ill-close-us-borders-in-my-first-day }} * You ever see guys with nothing on their desk? They always fail. I don't know what it is. I've seen it for years. ** Explaining his messy desk, ''The New York Times Magazine'' interview. {{citation | date=2015-09-21 | title=Donald Trump is not going anywhere | author = Mark Leibovich | newspaper = The New York Times Magazine | url = http://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/04/magazine/donald-trump-is-not-going-anywhere.html }} * Why aren't we letting ISIS go and fight Assad and then we pick up the remnants? ** [http://www.cbsnews.com/news/donald-trump-60-minutes-scott-pelley/ Interview in ''60 Minutes''], 2015-09-27 ** Cited by [[Mitt Romney]] in [http://uk.businessinsider.com/mitt-romney-donald-trump-isis-60-minutes-ridiculous-2016-3?r=US&IR=T ''Business Insider''], 2016-03-03 * I will tell you in terms of leadership he is getting an 'A,' and our president is not doing so well. They did not look good together. ** {{citation |date=2015-09-30 |author=Reena Flores |title=Donald Trump gives Russia's Putin an 'A' in leadership |periodical=CBS News |url=https://www.cbsnews.com/news/donald-trump-gives-russias-putin-an-a-in-leadership/}} ====October 2015==== *All my friends who work out all the time, they’re going for knee replacements, hip replacements — they’re a disaster **4 October 2015 interview with [https://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/04/magazine/donald-trump-is-not-going-anywhere.html New York Times] * I've always said, if you run for president, you shouldn't be allowed to use teleprompters. Because you don't even know if the guy is smart. ** Norcross, Georgia, {{#formatdate:2015-10-10}}, quoted in {{citation |date=2016-07-21 |title=Teleprompter Trump: the right temperament or low-energy Donald? |author=Joe Concha |periodical=The Hill |url=https://thehill.com/blogs/pundits-blog/presidential-campaign/288626-teleprompter-trump-the-right-temperament-or-low}} * He was such a nice guy. And he said, Oh, I'm never going to attack. But then his poll numbers tanked. He's got -- that's why he's on the end -- and he got nasty. And he got nasty. So you know what? You can have him. ** Response to [[John Kasich]] {{citation | date=2015-10-28 |title= CNBC Republican debate transcript |newspaper = CNBC |url = http://www.cnbc.com/2015/10/29/cnbc-full-transcript-cnbcs-your-money-your-vote-the-republican-presidential-debate-part-2.html }} ====November 2015==== * '''Trump''': I'm Donald Trump, and I'm running for president. Our country is in deep trouble because let's face it: politics are all talk and no action. My opponents have no experience in creating jobs or making deals. The fact is, I'm going to make the greatest trade deals we've ever made in our country. And I'm going to bring jobs and money back to the United States. I'll take care of our veterans and make our military so strong that nobody will ever mess with us. I'll secure our borders, and yes, we will have a wall. You can't have a country without borders. [[w:Affordable Care Act|Obamacare]] is a great plan . It will be repealed and replaced with something much better. If the people of Iowa vote for me, you'll never be disappointed. I don't disappoint people, I produce. Together, we're going to [[w:Make America Great Again|Make America Great Again]]. I'm Donald Trump, candidate for president, and I hate this message.<br>'''Female V/O''': Paid for by Donald J. Trump for President, Inc. ** Radio ad aired in Iowa (5 November 2015) * Watch and study the [[Mosque|mosques]], because a lot of talk is going on at the mosques. ** As quoted in [http://www.cnn.com/2015/11/16/politics/donald-trump-paris-attacks-close-mosques/index.html "Donald Trump: 'Strongly consider' shutting mosques"] (16 November 2015), by Gregory Krieg, ''CNN'' (2015), Atlanta, Georgia: Cable News Network. * I would certainly implement that. Absolutely... There should be a lot of systems, beyond databases. We should have a lot of systems... They have to be. They have to be... It's all about management. ** As quoted in [http://www.people.com/article/donald-trump-muslim-database-syrian-refugees "Donald Trump Says He Supports a Database and ID Cards to Track Muslims in the U.S.: 'We're Going to Have to Look at the Mosques'"] (20 November 2015), by Char Adams, ''People''. * Somebody said I’m the Ernest Hemingway of 140 characters. ** Quoted by {{citation | date=2015-11-20 |title= Trump says he’s the Hemingway of Twitter |newspaper = The Hill | author = Bradford Richardson |url = https://thehill.com/blogs/ballot-box/gop-primaries/260949-trump-says-hes-the-hemingway-of-twitter }} * Get him the hell out of here. ** As quoted in [http://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-supporters-black-lives-matter-protester-clash-at-rally/ "Trump supporters, Black Lives Matter protester clash at rally"] (21 November 2015), by Reena Flores, ''CBS News'', CBS Interactive, Inc. *I watched when the World Trade Center came tumbling down. And I watched in [[w:Jersey City, New Jersey|Jersey City, N.J.]], where thousands and thousands of people were cheering as that building was coming down. Thousands of people were cheering.<br>It was on television. I saw it. It was well covered at the time, George. Now, I know they don't like to talk about it, but it was well covered at the time. There were people over in [[New Jersey]] that were watching it, a heavy Arab population, that were cheering as the buildings came down. Not good. **21 November 2015 speech in [[w:Birmingham, Alabama|Birmingham, Alabama]], then next-day reply to [[George Stephanopoulos]], according to [https://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2015/nov/22/donald-trump/fact-checking-trumps-claim-thousands-new-jersey-ch/ 22 November 2015 PolitiFact article] * Written by a nice reporter. Now the poor guy - you ought to see the guy: ‘Uhh I don't know what I said. I don't remember!' He's going, ‘I don't remember! Maybe that's what I said.' ** As quoted in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PX9reO3QnUA&t=15 "Trump mocks reporter with disability"] (25 November 2015 by CNN) and [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/donald-trump/12019097/Donald-Trump-accused-of-mocking-disabled-reporter.html "Donald Trump accused of mocking disabled reporter"] (26 November 2015), by Rob Crilly regarding [[Serge Kovaleski]] =====''[[wikipedia:Crippled America|Crippled America: How to Make America Great Again]]'' (November 2015)===== :published 3 November 2015 * The enthusiasm was based on pure love and love of what we were doing. ** Preface, p. xiv * The fact is I give people what they need and deserve to hear - exactly what they don't get from politicians - and that is The Truth. Our country is a mess right now and we don't have time to pretend otherwise. We don't have time to waste on being politically correct. ** p. 8 * I use the media the way the media uses me—to attract attention. Once I have that attention, it's up to me to use it to my advantage. ** p. 10 * I've seen these so-called journalists flat-out lie. I say that because incompetence doesn't begin to explain the inaccurate stories they have written. ** p. 12 * Our country, our people, and our laws have to be our top priority. ** p. 30 * Citizenship is not a gift we can afford to keep giving away. ** p. 28 * I want good people to come here from all over the world, but I want them to do so legally. We can expedite the process, we can reward achievement and excellence, but we have to respect the legal process. And those people who take advantage of the system and come here illegally should never enjoy the benefits of being a resident--or citizen--of this nation. So I am against any path to citizenship for undocumented workers or anyone else who is in this country illegaly. They should--and need to--go home and get in line. ** p. 30 * Depending on the price of oil, Saudi Arabia earns somewhere between half a billion and a billion dollars every day. They wouldn't exist, let alone have that wealth, without our protection. We get nothing from them. Nothing. We defend Germany. We defend Japan. We defend South Korea. These are powerful and wealthy countries. We get nothing from them. It's time to change all that. It's time to win again. ** p. 34 * When Kuwait was attacked by Saddam Hussein, all the wealthy Kuwaitis ran to Paris. They didn't just rent suites—they took up whole buildings, entire hotels. They lived like kings while their country was occupied. Who did they turn to for help? Who else? Uncle Sucker. That's us. ** p. 34 * We can't be afraid to use our military, but sending our sons and daughters should be the very last resort. I've seen what wars do to our kids. I've seen their broken bodies, know all about the horrors that live in their heads, and the enormous effects of trauma. We cannot commit American troops to battle without a real and tangible objective. ** p. 35 * To me, for politicians to claim that we have an answer to every problem is silly. When you listen to some politicians reeling off their prepared answers, you almost fall for it. They're all experts. But nothing ever happens. ** p. 73 * I manage to blast through the ridiculous liberal bias of the media and speak right to the hearts of the people - or at least I try. ** p. 80 * It's not just jobs that are being lost to other countries. We are seeing whole industries vanish overseas. ** p. 85 * A great leader has to be flexible, holding his ground on the major principles but finding room for compromises that can bring people together. A great leader has to be savvy at negotiations so we don't drown every bill in pork barrel bridges to nowhere. I know how to stand my ground — but I also know that Republicans and Democrats need to find common ground to stand on as well. ** p. 96 * We look at politicians and think: This one's owned by this millionaire. That one's owned by that millionaire, or lobbyist, or special interest group. Me? I speak for the people. So the establishment attacks me. They can't own me, they can't dictate to me, so they search for ways to dismiss me. ** p. 97 ====December 2015==== * My policy has always been the same. We're fighting ISIS and Assad is fighting ISIS, but we're backing rebels to fight [[w:Bashar al-Assad|Assad]]. You can't fight everybody, you have to pick who you want to fight. And now you've got [[Turkey]], who like ISIS more than they like others, no one really knows because we don't have people that know what they're doing. So in my opinion, you go along, and [[Russia]] does not like ISIS, and people are starting to find out. I mean in all fairness lost an airplane, got blew out of the air. So Russia is not a fan of ISIS. Russia is bombing the hell out of them, starting to bomb them. I say isis is our number one threat. We can't be fighting everybody at the same time. ISIS is our number one threat. I would bomb the hell out of them -- I like to do one thing at a time. I would knock the hell out of ISIS. I would hit them ... so hard like they've never been hit before. ** In an interview with ''{{w|Fox & Friends}}''. [http://www.politico.com/story/2015/12/trump-kill-isil-families-216343] (December 2, 2015) * They're using them as shields. It's a horrible thing. They're using them as shields. But we're fighting a very politically correct war. And the other thing is with the terrorists. You have to take out their families. When you get these terrorists, you have to take out their families. They care about their lives. Don't kid yourself. But they say they don't care about their lives. You have to take out their families. ** When asked how he would deal with civilian casualties. In an interview with ''{{w|Fox & Friends}}''. [http://www.politico.com/story/2015/12/trump-kill-isil-families-216343] (December 2, 2015) * If you're in the [[w:White House|White House]], who wants to take a vacation? You're in the White House!… What's better than the White House? Why these vacations? **[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cC_3IxKcQIA Hardball with Chris Matthews, August 4, 2017] December 5, 2015 rally * Donald J. Trump is calling for a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States until our country's representatives can figure out what is going on... According to Pew Research, among others, there is great hatred towards Americans by large segments of the Muslim population. Most recently, a poll from the [[w:Center for Security Policy|Center for Security Policy]] released data showing "25% of those polled agreed that violence against Americans here in the United States is justified as a part of the global jihad" and 51% of those polled, "agreed that Muslims in America should have the choice of being governed according to [[Sharia|Shariah]]." Shariah authorizes such atrocities as murder against non-believers who won't convert, beheadings and more unthinkable acts that pose great harm to Americans, especially women. **[https://www.donaldjtrump.com/press-releases/donald-j.-trump-statement-on-preventing-muslim-immigration Statement on Preventing Muslim Immigration] (December 7, 2015) archived [https://archive.ph/TK7qR here] * We are losing a lot of people to the Internet. We have to do something. We have to go see [[Bill Gates]] and a lot of different people that really understand what's happening. We have to talk to them [about], maybe in certain areas, closing that Internet up in some way. '''Some people will say, ‘[[Freedom of speech]], Freedom of speech'. These are foolish people.''' ** [https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2015/dec/08/googles-eric-schmidt-spell-checkers-hate-harassment-terrorism Google's Eric Schmidt calls for 'spell-checkers for hate and harassment'], 8 December 2015, by Alex Hern. * We have places in [[London]] and other places that are so radicalised that the [[police]] are afraid for their own lives. We have to be very smart and very vigilant. ** As quoted in [http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/donald-trump-claims-parts-of-london-are-so-radicalised-police-officers-are-afraid-for-their-lives-a6765026.html "Donald Trump claims parts of London are 'so radicalised' police officers are 'afraid for their lives'"] by Rose Troup Buchanan, ''[[w:The Independent|The Independent]]'' (8 December 2015); also in [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3352406/Scotland-Yard-mocks-Trump-s-claims-London-police-terrified-Muslim-areas-officers-claim-tycoon-RIGHT.html "'Trump's not wrong – we can't wear uniform in our OWN cars': Five police officers claim Donald Trump is RIGHT about parts of London being so 'radicalised' they are no-go areas"] by Martin Robinson, ''Daily Mail Online'' (9 December 2015) * These are people that are outside the country, so we're really not talking about the [[U.S. Constitution|Constitution]]. And it's not about religion. This is about safety. This has nothing to do with religion. It's about safety. ** Interview on ABC's "Life with Kelly and Michael", as quoted in [http://thehill.com/blogs/ballot-box/presidential-races/262615-trump-muslim-ban-not-about-religion "Trump: Muslim ban 'not about religion'"] by Jesse Byrnes, ''The Hill'' (9 December 2015) * We're doing really well with the [[Evangelicalism in the United States|evangelicals]], and, by the way: And again, I do like [[Ted Cruz]] -- but not a lot of [[Evangelicalism|evangelicals]] come out of [[Cuba]], in all fairness. It's true. Not a lot come out. But I like him nevertheless. But I think we're going to do great, and we are doing great with evangelicals.<br>I'm with you. I'm with everybody. I'm with everybody, look, I'm self-funding. I have no oil company. I have no special [[interest]]. I have no lobbyists.<br>Well look he's from [[Texas]] -- to the best of my knowledge, there's a lot of oil in Texas, right? So, he gets a lot of money from the oil companies, and he's against ethanol and everything you're else talking about. And I'm not I'm totally in favor. And you know it's a big industry here, it's a big industry. You know if that industry is upset Iowa's got problems.<br>I really do, I like Ted Cruz a lot, I would say that we would certainly have things in mind for Ted, to be honest with you. I mean, he's somebody that I could certainly say that [about] because I like him. **11 December 2015 during a rally in Iowa, according to [https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2015/12/11/donald-trump-questions-ted-cruzs-ties-to-major-oil-companies/ Washington Post article] by Jenna Johnson, [http://www.cbsnews.com/news/in-iowa-donald-trump-hits-ted-cruz-on-ethanol-and-religion/ CBS News article] by Kylie Atwood, and [https://web.archive.org/web/20151213223442/http://blogs.reuters.com/talesfromthetrail/2015/12/12/donald-trump-and-ted-cruz-are-best-of-frenemies/ Reuters article] by Emily Stephenson * We're rounding 'em up in a very humane way, in a very nice way. And they're going to be happy because they want to be legalized. And, by the way, I know it doesn't sound nice. But not everything is nice. **27 December 2015 on ''60 Minutes'' * I know words. I have the best words. **30 December 2015 [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kn283OjPb1g speech in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina] reported by [https://gawker.com/yet-another-bold-claim-from-donald-trump-i-know-words-1750331997 Gawker] and [https://dailycaller.com/2015/12/30/trump-i-know-words-i-have-the-best-words-obama-is-stupid-video/ The Daily Caller] * I'm trying to figure out, let's see, I'm in my room, in [[New York City|New York city]], and I want to put a little spray, so I can, you know [mimes spraying] right, right, but I hear they don't want me to use the hairspray, they want me to use the pump, because the other one, which I really like better than going [mimes pumping] bang, bang, bang, and then it comes out in big globs, right, and it's stuck in your hair and you say, "Oh my god I've got to take a shower again, my hair's all screwed up", right, I want to use hairspray, but they say "Don't use hairspray, it's bad for the ozone", so I'm sitting in this concealed [sic] apartment, this concealed unit (you know I do live in a very apartment, right) but it's sealed (it's beautiful) I don't think anything gets out, and I'm not supposed to be using hairspray! **30 December 2015 [https://www.c-span.org/video/?402610-1/donald-trump-campaign-rally-hilton-head-south-carolina speaking at a rally in Hilton Head, SC] ===2016=== ====January 2016==== [[File:Donald_Trump_by_Gage_Skidmore_4.jpg|thumb|I'm very angry. Because our country is being run horribly. I will gladly accept the mantle of anger. Our military is a disaster. Our healthcare is a horror show. Obamacare, we're going to repeal it and replace it.<br> We have no borders. Our vets are being treated horribly. Illegal immigration is beyond belief! Our country is being run by incompetent people and yes, I am angry. I'm angry because our country is a mess!]] * The entire world has been upset. The entire world, it's a different place. During Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton's term, she's done a horrible job.<br>She has caused death. She has caused tremendous death with incompetent decisions. I was against the [[war in Iraq]]. I wasn't a politician, but I was against the war in Iraq. She voted for the war in Iraq.<br>Look at {{w|Libya}}. That was her baby. Look. I mean, I'm not even talking about the ambassador and the people with the ambassador. Young, wonderful people. With messages coming in by the hundreds, and she's not even responding. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about all of the death that's been caused and not only our side.<br>There was nothing saved. If we would have never done anything in the Middle East, we would have a much safer world right now. ... All of this has led to the migration. All of this has led to tremendous death and destruction. And she for the most part was in charge of it along with Obama.<br>She's constantly playing the woman card. It's the only way she may get elected. I mean frankly... Personally, I'm not sure that anybody else other than me is going to beat her. And I think she's a flawed candidate. And you see what's happened recently. And it hasn't been a very pretty picture for her or for Bill. Because I'm the only one that's willing to talk about his problems. I mean, what he did and what he has gone through I think is frankly terrible, especially if she wants to play the woman card.<br>I have more respect for women by far than Hillary Clinton has. And I will do more for women than Hillary Clinton will. I will do far more including the protection of our country. She caused a lot of the problems that we have right now. ** CBS interview with John Dickerson (taped 1 January 2016) for ''[[wikipedia:Face the Nation|Face the Nation]]'' — as quoted in [http://www.politico.com/story/2016/01/trump-hillary-clinton-donald-217294 "Trump: Clinton has ruined the world"] by Nick Gass, ''Politico'' (3 January 2016) * They've created ISIS. Hillary Clinton created ISIS with Obama; created with Obama. But I love predicting because you know, ultimately, you need somebody with vision. ** At a rally, as quoted in [http://www.businessinsider.com/donald-trump-hillary-clinton-created-isis-obama-2016-1 "TRUMP: 'Hillary Clinton created ISIS with Obama'"] by Colin Campbell, ''Business Insider'' (3 January 2016) * She [Clinton] has a terrible record as secretary of state. I mean, she's literally created ISIS. If you look at her, between her and Obama, they're the ones — we have this big ISIS problem they created with their bad policies and their bad thinking. ** On ''[[wikipedia:Fox & Friends|Fox & Friends]]'', as quoted in [http://www.businessinsider.com/donald-trump-hillary-clinton-created-isis-obama-2016-1 "TRUMP: 'Hillary Clinton created ISIS with Obama'"] by Colin Campbell, ''Business Insider'' (3 January 2016) * Mexico is going to be the new China because what they're doing to us is unbelievable, although they did catch El Chapo. Good? Good? They did catch El Chapo, that's good. I mean I don't know, he better not escape a third time, you know? Those tunnels, bing, boom, right under the toilet, bing boom, right up. It's pretty amazing when you think about it, right? But anyway. I have an idea: Put him on the fourth floor this time, right? No more, no more first floors. ** Speech (9 January 2016), as quoted in [http://www.cbsnews.com/news/el-chapo-on-donald-trump-mi-amigo/ "El Chapo on Donald Trump: 'Mi Amigo!"], by Rebecca Kaplan, ''CBS News'' (10 January 2016). * I'm very angry because our country is being run horribly and I will gladly accept the mantle of anger. Our military is a disaster. Our healthcare is a horror show. Obamacare, we're going to repeal it and replace it. We have no borders. Our vets are being treated horribly. Illegal immigration is beyond belief. Our country is being run by incompetent people. And yes, I am angry. I'm angry because our country is a mess. ** [http://time.com/4182096/republican-debate-charleston-transcript-full-text/ Full Transcript of the Sixth Republican Debate in Charleston], ''[[wikipedia:Time (magazine)|Time]]'' (14 January 2016). * And just so — if I could, because he insulted a lot of people. I've had more calls on that statement that [[Ted Cruz|Ted]] made — New York is a great place. It's got great people, it's got loving people, wonderful people. When the World Trade Center came down, I saw something that no place on [[Earth]] could have handled more beautifully, more humanely than New York. You had two one hundred, you had two 110-story buildings come crashing down. I saw them come down. Thousands of people killed, and the cleanup started the next day, and it was the most horrific cleanup, probably in the history of doing this, and in construction. I was down there, and I've never seen anything like it. And the people in New York fought and fought and fought, and we saw more death, and even the smell of death — nobody understood it. And it was with us for months, the smell, the air. And we rebuilt downtown Manhattan, and everybody in the world watched and everybody in the world loved New York and loved New Yorkers. And I have to tell you, that was a very insulting statement that Ted made. ** [http://time.com/4182096/republican-debate-charleston-transcript-full-text/ Full Transcript of the Sixth Republican Debate in Charleston], ''[[wikipedia:Time (magazine)|Time]]'' (14 January 2016). * The truth is, he's a nasty guy. He was so nice to me. I mean, I knew it. I was watching. I kept saying, 'Come on Ted. Let's go, okay.' But he's a nasty guy. Nobody likes him. Nobody in Congress likes him. Nobody likes him anywhere once they get to know him. He's a very –- he's got an edge that's not good. You can't make deals with people like that and it's not a good thing. It's not a good thing for the country. Very nasty guy. ** About [[Ted Cruz]] in an interview on ''[[wikipedia:This Week (ABC TV series)|This Week]]'' [http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2016/01/17/donald_trump_ted_cruz_is_a_nasty_guy_nobody_likes_him.html] (January 17, 2016) * [[wikipedia:Tony Perkins (politician)|Tony Perkins]] wrote that out for me -- he actually wrote out 2, he wrote out the number 2 Corinthians, I took exactly what Tony said, and I said, 'Well Tony has to know better than anybody. * It's a very small deal, but a lot of people in different sections of the world say two, and I've had many, many people say that to me. My mother, as you know, was from Scotland, and they say two. ** In an interview with {{w|CNN}}'s {{w|Don Lemon}}, about saying "two Corinthians" instead of "Second Corinthians" during a speech at Liberty University. [http://edition.cnn.com/2016/01/20/politics/donald-trump-tony-perkins-sarah-palin/] (January 22, 2016) * Ted Cruz lies. He's a liar. And that's why nobody likes him, that's why his Senate people won't endorse him. That's why he stands on the middle of the Senate floor and can't make a deal with anybody. He looks like a jerk. He's standing all by himself. And you know, there's something to say about having a little bit of ability to get other people to do things. You can't be a lone wolf and stand there. That's sort of what we have right now as a president. ** [http://www.msnbc.com/morning-joe/watch/trump-ted-cruz-lies-he-s-a-liar-608990275597 Morning Joe] (26 January 2016) * But you cannot say anymore that the United States is going to pay for the wall. I am just going to say that we are working it out. Believe it or not, this is the least important thing that we are talking about, but politically this might be the most important talk about. ** [https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2017/politics/australia-mexico-transcripts/?utm_term=.95d2f93766d6 Full transcripts of Trump's calls with Mexico and Australia By Greg Miller, Julie Vitkovskaya and Reuben Fischer-Baum; Aug. 3, 2017] (Friday, January 27, 2017) * So what I would like to recommend is – if we are going to have continued dialogue – we will work out the wall. They are going to say, "who is going to pay for the wall, Mr. President?" to both of us, and we should both say, "we will work it out." It will work out in the formula somehow. As opposed to you saying, "we will not pay" and me saying, "we will not pay." ** [https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2017/politics/australia-mexico-transcripts/?utm_term=.95d2f93766d6 Full transcripts of Trump's calls with Mexico and Australia By Greg Miller, Julie Vitkovskaya and Reuben Fischer-Baum; Aug. 3, 2017] (Friday, January 27, 2017) * Up in [[New Hampshire]] – I won New Hampshire because New Hampshire is a drug-infested den – is coming from the southern border. ** Actually, Clinton took NH; [https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2017/politics/australia-mexico-transcripts/?utm_term=.95d2f93766d6 Full transcripts of Trump's calls with Mexico and Australia By Greg Miller, Julie Vitkovskaya and Reuben Fischer-Baum; Aug. 3, 2017] (Friday, January 27, 2017) =====Speech at {{w|Liberty University}} (18 January 2016)===== : <small>[http://www.c-span.org/video/?403331-1/donald-trump-remarks-liberty-university Presidential Candidate Donald Trump at Liberty University], ''C-SPAN'' (18 January 2016)</small> * We've done great with the evangelicals. The evangelicals have been amazing. The [[Tea Party movement|Tea Party]] has been amazing and we're doing really well. * We're going to protect [[Christianity]], and I can say that. I don't have to be {{w|politically correct}}. We're going to protect it. I hear this is a major theme right here, but [[wikipedia:2 Corinthians 3|two Corinthians, 3]]:17, that's the whole ball game. "''Where the Spirit of the Lord''", right, "''where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is [[liberty]]''", and here there is Liberty College, but Liberty University, but it is so true. You know, when you think -- and that's really -- is that the one? Is that the one you like? I think that's the one you like because I loved it, and it's so representative of what's taken place. But we are going to protect Christianity. And if you look what's going on throughout the world, you look at Syria where if you're Christian, they're chopping off heads. You look at the different places, and [[Christianity]], it's under siege. * I'm a [[Protestantism|protestant]]. I'm very proud of it, [[w:Presbyterian|Presbyterian]] to be exact, but I'm proud of it, very, very proud. And we've got to protect because bad things are happening, very bad things are happening, and we don't -- I don't know what it is. We don't band together, maybe. Other religions, frankly, they're banding together. * This is a movement. It is a movement going on. We want to take our country back. Our country is disappearing. You look at the kind of deals we make. You look at what's happening, our country is going in the wrong direction, and so wrong, and it's got to be stopped and it's got to be stopped fast. * When our sailors were captured last week, I said that's one of the saddest things that I have seen when those young people were on their hands and knees in a begging position with their hands up and thugs behind them with guns, and then we talk like it's OK. It's not OK. It's lack of respect. We can't let that happen to this country. It's lack of respect. * The [[Persian people|Persians]], very good negotiators. Great negotiators, legendary negotiators. They're known for it. They're sitting across the table. * I hate to tell this to the woman, they're behind the fact, they're a little behind the fact. They haven't figured out that women may be in certain ways much better than men. But I don't want to say that because I will get myself in trouble with men. But they haven't figured this out yet but that's OK. * We spent 5 trillion dollars in the Middle East and our country is going to hell. We gotta bring it back. We gotta knock the hell out of ISIS. * I want to see a woman president soon, but not [Hillary Clinton]. She's a disaster. She's a disaster. She's a disaster. I mean, just think of the corruption and the scandal... We don't want to go through it. We want to see winning. We want to see win, win, win – constant winning. And you'll say – if I'm president... 'Please, Mr. President, we're winning too much. We can't stand it anymore. Can't we have a loss?' And I'll say no, we're going to keep winning, winning, winning... because we're going to make America great again. And you'll say, 'Okay, Mr. President. Okay.' =====Speech at {{w|Dordt University}} (23 January 2016)===== *{{anchor|shoot somebody|reason=linked to from w:en:Template:FBDB}}The people, my people, are so smart, and you know what they say about my people? The polls. They say I have the most loyal people — did you ever see that? Where '''I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters'''. It's like incredible. No, they say, "Trump we love you too." Trump's voters are by far, ya know, I'm at sixty-eight and sixty-nine percent, I'm at ninety percent, total, like, "Will you say absolutely?" I think it's sixty-eight and sixty-nine percent. "Will you most likely stay?" That gets into the nineties. Other guys like a ten. A guy like [[Jeb Bush]], he has a nobody, but he's like, they don't have people. They have nothing. Rubio, soft. They're all soft. My people stay, by the way, Cruz, soft. When they heard about this thing with that he was bordering Canada, nobody knew them? He lost a lot of people! He's gone down big in the polls. Ted Cruz has gone down big in the polls. That doesn't mean he's giving us a fight in Iowa, that doesn't mean you can stay home, okay, see, you with the smile? It doesn't mean that. You gotta go out cause we can't take any chances. ** [http://time.com/4191598/donald-trump-says-he-could-shoot-somebody-and-not-lose-voters/ Speech at campaign rally] (23 January 2016), Sioux Center, Iowa. ====February 2016==== * To have a crowd like this on our final day, can you believe it, this is the day. This is the day we take our country back. Remember that. This is the day we take our country back. So I got a little notice in case you see it. It's security guys. We have wonderful security guys. They said, "Mr. Trump, there may be somebody with tomatoes in the audience." So if you see somebody getting ready to throw a tomato, knock the crap out of them, would you? Seriously... Okay? Just knock the hell... I promise you I will pay for the legal fees, I promise. I promise. There won't be so much cause the courts agree with us too. What's going on in this country. ** [https://www.washingtonpost.com/video/politics/trump-knock-the-crap-out-of-tomato-throwers/2016/02/01/1d1fe1e2-c92b-11e5-b9ab-26591104bb19_video.html At a rally in Cedar Rapids, Iowa.] (1 February 2016) * This has been going if it's not going to happen anymore, folks. We're going to bring businesses back. We're going to have businesses that used to be in [[New Hampshire]], that are now in Mexico, come back to New Hampshire and you can tell them to go f--- themselves...because they let you down, and they left. We want the businesses that stay. I know a lot of businesses up here and I knew a lot of businesses up here. These are great people, they could've left and they wanna stay. They willing to stay, they're fighting to stay. It's hard. With a highest tax nation in the entire world. It's hard for them to stay and they stay. Those are the people we have to cherish and love. These are the people that are great. ** [http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2016/may/18/priorities-usa-action/priorities-usa-donald-trump-women-ad/ At a rally in New Hampshire.] (4 February 2016) * '''Trump''': No, I didn't use the word. I never said the word, Bill. I don't know who told you -- I would never use the word. I didn't say the word. I said, "you can tell them to go [beat of silence] themselves."<br>'''O'Reilly''': But the lips kind of moved in the --<br>'''Trump''': Well, they might have. No, I didn't say the word. I wouldn't do that. Even I -- hey Bill, even I wouldn't do that, okay. No, I never said the word. ** On an interview on The O'Reilly Factor (6 February 2016) * [[Iraq|It]]'s the Harvard of Terrorists. ** [http://www.rawstory.com/2016/02/watch-as-charlie-rose-forces-trump-to-admit-he-agrees-with-obama-on-syria/ Interview with Charlie Rose] (17 February 2016) * Torture works, okay folks? [...] Believe me, it works. [...] Waterboarding is your minor form. Some people say it's not actually torture. Let's assume it is. But they asked me the question. What do you think of waterboarding? Absolutely fine. But we should go much stronger than waterboarding. That's the way I feel. ** [http://www.cbsnews.com/news/donald-trump-torture-works/ Donald Trump: "Torture works"]. CBS News (17 February 2016). Bluffton, South Carolina. * They were having [[terrorism]] problems, just like we do, and he caught 50 terrorists who did tremendous damage and killed many people. And he took the 50 terrorists, and he took 50 men and he dipped 50 bullets in pigs' blood — you heard that, right? He took 50 bullets, and he dipped them in pigs' blood. And he had his men load his rifles, and he lined up the 50 people, and they shot 49 of those people. And the 50th person, he said: You go back to your people, and you tell them what happened. And for 25 years, there wasn't a problem. Okay? Twenty-five years, there wasn't a problem. ** During a campaign stop in {{w|Pawley's Island, South Carolina}} (February 19, 2016) [http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/450574/donald-trump-tweet-fake-history-libel-war-crime]. Referring to a false story about [[John J. Pershing]] which has circulated on the Internet. * Bye bye. Look, see? He's smiling. See, he's having a good time. Oh, I love the old days, you know? You know what I hate? There's a guy, totally disruptive, throwing punches, we're not allowed to punch back anymore. I love the old days. You know what they used to do to guys like that when they were in a place like this? They'd be carried out on a stretcher, folks. You know, I love our police, and I really respect our police, and they're not getting enough. They're not. Honestly, I hate to see that. Here's a guy, throwing punches, nasty as hell, screaming at everything else when we're talking, and he's walking out, and we're not allowed -- you know, the guards are very gentle with him, he's walking out, like, big high fives, smiling, laughing -- I'd like to punch him in the face, I'll tell you. ** [http://www.weeklystandard.com/protester-would-be-carried-out-on-a-stretcher-in-the-old-days-trump-reminisces/article/2001211 At a rally in Las Vegas] (22 February 2016) * We won with young. We won with old. We won with highly educated. We won with poorly educated. '''I love the poorly educated.''' ** [http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/donald-trump-declares-i-love-the-poorly-educated-as-he-storms-to-victory-in-nevada-caucus-a6893106.html Donald Trump declares 'I love the poorly educated' as he storms to victory in Nevada caucus], 24 February 2016 * '''Ted Cruz''': Donald, relax.<br>'''Donald Trump''': I'm relaxed. You're the basket case. Go ahead, don't get nervous. ** [http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/sns-wp-blm-carlson-6454d89c-dc90-11e5-8210-f0bd8de915f6-20160226-story.html CNN-Telemundo Republican debate] (25 February 2016) * If and when the Vatican is attacked by Isis, which as everyone knows is Isis’s ultimate trophy, the pope can have only wished and prayed that Donald Trump would have been president because this would not have happened. Isis would have been eradicated unlike what is happening now with our all talk, no action politicians. **As quoted in Ben Jacobs, ''[https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/feb/18/donald-trump-pope-francis-christian-wall-mexico-border Donald Trump calls Pope Francis 'disgraceful' for questioning his faith]'', ''The Guardian'' (February 18, 2016) ====March 2016==== * '''Donald Trump''': I think you've become very negative.<br>'''Bill O'Reilly''': Why would I do that?<br>'''Trump''': Who knows. You'll have to ask your psychiatrist. ** [http://www.politico.com/blogs/2016-gop-primary-live-updates-and-results/2016/03/donald-trump-bill-oreilly-gop-debate-220241 "Trump to O'Reilly: 'I think you've become very negative'"] by Nick Gass, ''Politico'' (3 March 2016) * '''Bret Baier''': So what would you do as commander in chief if the U.S. military refused to carry out those orders?<br>'''Donald Trump''': They won't refuse. They're not going to refuse me, believe me.<br>'''Baier''': But they're illegal.<br>'''Trump''': Let me just tell you, you look at the Middle East, they're chopping off heads. And now we're talking about waterboarding. We should go for waterboarding, and we should go tougher than waterboarding….<br>And I'm a leader. I'm a leader. I've always been a leader. I've never had any problem leading people. If I say do it, they're going to do it. That's what leadership is all about. ** Fox News Republican debate, {{#formatdate:2016-03-03}}, quoted in [https://www.npr.org/2016/03/04/469149226/trump-attacked-from-all-sides-in-bitter-chaotic-gop-debate Trump Attacked From All Sides In Bitter, Chaotic Debate] ''NPR'' (March 4, 2016) * Look at those hands. Are they small hands? And he referred to my hands — if they're small, something else must be small. I guarantee you there's no problem, I guarantee. ** Fox News Republican debate, {{#formatdate:2016-03-03}}, quoted in {{citation|date=2016-03-04|author=Gregory Krieg|title=Donald Trump defends size of his penis|periodical=CNN|url=https://www.cnn.com/2016/03/03/politics/donald-trump-small-hands-marco-rubio/index.html}} * '''Anderson Cooper''': Is Islam at war with the West?<br>'''Donald Trump''': I think Islam hates us. There is something there, there is a tremendous hatred there, and we have to get to the bottom of it. There is an unbelievable hatred of us.<br>'''Cooper''': In Islam itself?<br>'''Trump''': You're going to have to figure that out, but there is a tremendous hatred and we have to be very vigilant, we have to be very careful and we can't allow people coming into this country who have this hatred of the United States and of people that are not Muslim.<br>'''Cooper''': The question is is there a war between the West and radical Islam or is it between the West and Islam itself?<br>'''Trump''': Well it's radical but it's very hard to define, it's very hard to separate because you don't know who's who. ** 9 March CNN interview, as quoted in [http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/us-election-2016-donald-trump-tells-cnn-tv-interviewer-islam-hates-us-1548760 "US Election 2016: Donald Trump tells CNN TV interviewer 'Islam hates us'"] by Harriet Sinclair, ''International Business Times'' (10 March 2016) * Come on, get 'em out, police, please. Let's go! ... Nobody wants to hurt each other anymore. ** During a St Louis, Mo., rally, as quoted in [https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/get-him-out-racial-tensions-explode-at-donald-trumps-rallies/2016/03/11/b9764884-e6ee-11e5-bc08-3e03a5b41910_story.html "‘Get 'em out!' Racial tensions explode at Donald Trump's rallies"], by Jose A. DelReal, ''The Washington Post'' (12 March 2016), Washington, D.C. * I promise you, I will not be taking very long vacations, if I take them at all. There's no time for vacations. We're not going to be big on vacations. ** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cC_3IxKcQIA Hardball with Chris Matthews, August 4, 2017] March 14, 2016 rally *Iran has already, since the deal is in place, test-fired ballistic missiles three times. Those ballistic missiles, with a range of 1,250 miles, were designed to intimidate not only Israel, which is only 600 miles away, but also intended to frighten Europe and someday maybe hit even the United States. And we're not going to let that happen. We're not letting it happen. And we're not letting it happen to Israel, believe me.<br>Thank you. Thank you.<br>Do you want to hear something really shocking? As many of the great people in this room know, painted on those missiles in both Hebrew and Farsi were the words "'''Israel must be wiped off the face of the earth'''." You can forget that.<br>What kind of demented minds write that in Hebrew? **[http://time.com/4267058/donald-trump-aipac-speech-transcript/ 21 March 2016] address to AIPAC (America-Israel Public Affairs Committee) * '''Obama''': But you would rule in the possibility to fight against ISIS.<br>'''Trump''': Well, I'm never gonna rule anything out. And I wouldn't wanna say. Even if I felt -- it wasn't going -- I wouldn't wanna tell you that because, at a minimum, I want them to think maybe that we would use it. ** As part of a conversation with Barack Obama about ruling out the use of nuclear weapons (March 23, 2016) reported [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/donald-trump-open-to-nuclear-retaliation-after-brussels-attack/ 24 March 2016 by CBS] * If Saudi Arabia was without the cloak of American protection, I don't think it would be around. ** Interview on foreign policy given on 25 March 2016, published: [http://www.nytimes.com/2016/03/27/us/politics/donald-trump-foreign-policy.html ''In Donald Trump's Worldview, America Comes First, and Everybody Else Pays''], ''The New York Times'' (26 March 2016) * Talking about success, most people think success is measured in the form of monetary success. It's not really. I mean to be a successful person is to have a great family, is who loves the family, loves the children and the children love him or her. To me that's a much more successful person than a person that has made a billion dollars or ten billion dollars, and is miserable and doesn't have a good family and nobody likes that person. I think I've seen every type of person there is that God created. **<small>''[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xuAO0zKRAk Donald Trump talks about Success and Happiness - Motivational speech held in Wisconsin on March 30, 2016]'', Mike Mohamed on YouTube. (2:37 to 3:05)</small> ====April 2016==== * I can be presidential, but if I was presidential I would only have - about 20% of you would be here because it would be boring as hell. ** At a rally in Superior, Wisconsin (4 April 2016) *''REPORTER: Mr Trump, please be specific and tell us your views on LGBT, how you plan to be inclusive as president. Speak about North Carolina bathroom law in particular.'' <Br>Trump: ''[...]'' One of the best answers I heard was from a commentator yesterday saying "leave it the way it is right now." There have been no-- very few problems. Leave it the way it is. North Carolina, what they're going through, with all of the business that's leaving and all of the strife and... and that's on both sides. You leave it the way it is. There have been very few complaints the way it is. People go, they use the bathroom that they feel is appropriate. There has been so little trouble and the problem with what happened in North Carolina is the strife and the economic- I mean economic punishment that they're taking. *''REPORTER: If [[w:Caitlyn Jenner|Caitlyn Jenner]] were to walk into [[w:Trump Tower|Trump Tower]], and want to use the bathroom, you would be fine with her using any bathroom she chooses?'' <Br>Trump: That is correct. *''On policies on bathroom use for transgender individuals:'' <Br>You know, there's a big move to create new bathrooms. Problem with that, is — for transgender — that would be a, first of all I think that would be discriminatory in a certain way. It would be unbelievably expensive for businesses and for the country. Leave it the way it is. ** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dO6MLHLIfdc Donald Trump Town Hall: Abortion Exceptions, Immigration, Raising Taxes (Full) | TODAY] April 21, 2016 * I love working. I'm not a vacation guy. Right? Like Obama, he plays golf in Hawaii. He flies in a 747. ** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cC_3IxKcQIA Hardball with Chris Matthews, August 4, 2017] April 21, 2016 rally * If you love what you do, you're happy. You don't take vacations. ** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cC_3IxKcQIA Hardball with Chris Matthews, August 4, 2017] April 22, 2016 rally =====Foreign Policy Speech (27 April 2016)===== [[File:Maga.png|thumb|No country has ever prospered that failed to put its own interests first.]] : <small>[http://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/28/us/politics/transcript-trump-foreign-policy.html Transcript: Donald Trump's Foreign Policy Speech], ''{{w|The New York Times}}'' (27 April 2016)</small> * It's time to shake the rust off [[Foreign policy of the United States|America's foreign policy]]. * My foreign policy will always put the interests of the American people and American security above all else... That will be the foundation of every single decision that I will make. [[America First (policy)|America First]] will be the major and overriding theme of my administration. * Our foreign policy is a complete and total disaster. No vision. No purpose. No direction. No strategy. * [[Barack Obama|President Obama]] has weakened [[United States Armed Forces|our military]] by weakening our economy. He's crippled us with wasteful spending, massive [[National debt|debt]], low growth, a huge trade deficit and open borders. * Our allies are not paying their fair share... The countries we are defending must pay for the cost of this defense, and if not, the U.S. must be prepared to let these countries defend themselves. We have no choice. * Israel, our great friend and the one true democracy in the Middle East has been snubbed and criticized by an administration that lacks moral clarity... President Obama has not been a friend to Israel. He has treated Iran with tender love and care and made it a great power. * We've let our rivals and challengers think they can get away with anything, and they do... If President Obama's goal had been to weaken America, he could not have done a better job. * We've made the Middle East more unstable and chaotic than ever before. We left Christians subject to intense persecution and even [[genocide]]. We have done nothing to help the Christians, nothing, and we should always be ashamed for that lack of action. * Hillary Clinton refuses to say the words radical Islam, even as she pushes for a massive increase in refugees coming into our country. After Secretary Clinton's failed intervention in Libya, [[wikipedia:2012 Benghazi attack|Islamic terrorists in Benghazi]] took down our consulate and killed our ambassador and three brave Americans. Then, instead of taking charge that night, Hillary Clinton decided to go home and sleep. Incredible. Clinton blames it all on a video, an excuse that was a total lie, proven to be absolutely a total lie. Our ambassador was murdered and our secretary of state misled the nation. * We're also going to have to change our trade, immigration and economic policies to make our economy strong again. And to put Americans first again. This will ensure that our own workers, right here in America, get the jobs and higher pay that will grow our tax revenues, increase our economic might as a nation. * I believe an easing of tensions, and improved relations with Russia from a position of strength only is possible. * Americans must know that we're putting the American people first again on trade, on immigration, on foreign policy. The jobs, incomes and security of the [[Working class in the United States|American worker]] will always be my first priority. No country has ever prospered that failed to put its own interests first. Both our friends and our enemies put their countries above ours and we, while being fair to them, must start doing the same. We will no longer surrender this country or its people to the false song of [[globalism]]. The nation-state remains the true foundation for happiness and harmony. I am skeptical of international unions that tie us up and bring America down, and will never enter America into any agreement that reduces our ability to control our own affairs. ====May 2016==== * We have a 500 billion dollar deficit, trade deficit with China. We're going to turn it around and we have the cards, don't forget, we're like the piggy bank that's being robbed. We have the cards, we have a lot of power with China. When China doesn't want to fix the problem in North Korea we say "Sorry folks, you've got to fix the problem." '''Because we can't continue to allow China to rape [[United States|our country]], and that's what they're doing. It's the greatest theft in the history of the world.''' **[https://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-us-canada-36185275/china-accused-of-trade-rape-by-donald-trump "China accused of trade 'rape' by Donald Trump"] ''BBC'' (2 May 2016) * You've been hearing me say it's a rigged system, but now I don't say it anymore because I won. It's true. Now I don't care. ** [http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/trump-gop-rigged-but-i-dont-care-because-i-won/article/2590545 "Trump: GOP 'rigged,' but I don't care because I won"] by Ryan Lovelace, ''Washington Examiner'' (5 May 2016) ====June 2016==== * It's going to be like this. I'm not changing. ** Answer to the question whether the American public could expect a similar dynamic if he would win the presidential elections, quoted in {{citation |date=2016-06-01 |title=Donald Trump: Questions on money for war veterans |author=Alan Fisher |periodical=Al Jazeera |url=http://www.aljazeera.com/blogs/americas/2016/05/donald-trump-fumes-veterans-money-questions-160531203455389.html}} * '''He's a [[Mexicans|Mexican]]'''. We're building a wall between here and Mexico. ** About American judge Gonzalo Curiel (3 June 2016), as quoted in {{citation |date=2016-06-04 |title=Trump Presses Case That 'Mexican' Judge Curiel Is Biased Against Him |author=Nina Totenberg |periodical=National Public Radio |url=http://www.npr.org/2016/06/04/480714972/trump-presses-case-that-mexican-judge-curiel-is-biased-against-him}} * I'm truly honored by your support. Together, we accomplished what nobody thought was absolutely possible and you know what that is and we're only getting started and it's going to be beautiful, remember that. Tonight we close one chapter in history and we begin another. Our campaign received more primary votes than any GOP campaign in history, no matter who it is, no matter who they are, we received more votes. This is a great feeling. That's a great feeling. This is not a testament to me but a testament to all of the people who believed real change, not Obama change, but real change is possible. You've given me the honor to lead the Republican Party to victory this fall. ** Victory speech after winning New Jersey and other states Tuesday night (7 June 2016) – [http://time.com/4360872/donald-trump-new-jersey-victory-speech-transcript/ ''Time'' transcript] * To those who voted for someone else in either party, I will work hard to earn your support and I will work very hard to earn that support. To all of those [[Bernie Sanders]] voters who have been left out in the cold by a rigged system of super delegates, we welcome you with open arms. And by the way, the terrible trade deals that Bernie was so vehemently against and he's right on that will be taken care of far better than anyone ever thought possible and that's what I do. We are going to have fantastic trade deals. We're going to start making money and bringing in jobs. ** Victory speech after winning New Jersey and other states Tuesday night (7 June 2016) – [http://time.com/4360872/donald-trump-new-jersey-victory-speech-transcript/ ''Time'' transcript] * My goal is always again to bring people together. But if I'm forced to fight for something I really care about, I will never, ever back down and our country will never, ever back down. Thank you. I've fought for my family. I've fought for my business. I've fought for my employees. And now, I'm going to fight for you, the American people like nobody has ever fought before. ** Victory speech after winning New Jersey and other states Tuesday night (7 June 2016) – [http://time.com/4360872/donald-trump-new-jersey-victory-speech-transcript/ ''Time'' transcript] * We're led by [[Barack Obama|a man]] that either is not tough, not smart, or he's got something else in mind. And the something else in mind, you know, people can't believe it, people cannot believe that President Obama is acting the way he acts and can't even mention the words 'radical Islamic terrorism. There's something going on — it's inconceivable. There's something going on. He doesn't get it, or he gets it better than anybody understands. It's one or the other, and either one is unacceptable. ** Phone interview on ''Fox and Friends'', as quoted in {{citation |date=2016-06-13 |title=Trump on Obama and Islam: 'There's something going on' |author=Jesse Byrnes |periodical=The Hill |url=http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/283246-trump-on-obama-and-islam-theres-something-going-on}} * Belgium is a beautiful city. * Belgium is not the Belgium that you and I knew, Matt, from 20 years ago, which was one of the most beautiful cities and one of the safest cities in the world. Belgium is a horror show right now. ** [https://www.thebulletin.be/belgium-beautiful-city-according-donald-trump "Belgium is a “beautiful city”, according to Donald Trump"], ''The Bulletin'' (June 16, 2016) * Look, companies now are leaving the United States. Corporate inversion, they're leaving the United States, we have almost $5 trillion sitting out there, where they can't get the money back, they can't bring it in because there's no mechanism to bring it back in and the tax is so high. I'm going to bring tremendous amounts of money, tremendous amounts of jobs, tremendous numbers of companies, and yes the [[wikipedia:Political positions of Donald Trump#Taxes,_spending,_and_budget|tax is going to be cut]] from the highest tax nation anywhere in the world to a fairly low tax. Not the lowest in the world, but to a fairly low tax. * <p>'''Norah O'Donnell:''' Hillary Clinton called you the king of debt.</p><p>'''Donald Trump:''' Well, no she didn't call me, I called myself the king of debt. '''I'm the king of debt.''' I'm great with debt, nobody knows debt better than me. I made a fortune by using debt. And if things don't work out I renegotiate the debt, I mean that's a smart thing not a stupid thing. And I made a fortune.</p><p>'''O'Donnell:''' How do you renegotiate the debt?</p><p>'''Trump:''' Because you go back and you say, hey, guess what, the economy just crashed, I'm going to give you back half. I like debt for me, I don't like debt for the country. I like debt for my company, but I don't like debt for the country. For the country we have $19 trillion in debt, it's going to be very soon $21 trillion, not billion, $21 trillion in debt. And I will tell you we are sitting on a time bomb and Hillary Clinton doesn't have a clue. And President Obama has pretty much doubled the debt since he's been in office and somebody's going to pay a big price. We have to start chopping that debt down.</p><p>'''O'Donnell:''' [[Janet Yellen]], who you know, the chairman of the [[Federal Reserve System|Federal Reserve]] blasted you for saying that the U.S. could load up on debt and then make a deal with creditors if the [[Economy of the United States|economy]] has soured. She said there would be very severe consequences if an elected president tried to renegotiate the nation's debt.</p><p>'''Trump:''' I wouldn't renegotiate the debt.</p> ** In an interview with ''{{w|CBS This Morning'}}'' {{w|Norah O'Donnell}}, {{#formatdate:2016-06-22}}, quoted in {{citation |date=2016-06-22 |title=CBS' Norah O'Donnell Challenges Trump On His Economic Plan |periodical=Media Matters for America |url=https://www.mediamatters.org/donald-trump/cbs-norah-odonnell-challenges-trump-his-economic-plan}} * Our enemies probably know every single one [of Clinton's deleted emails]. So they probably now have a blackmail file. . . . We can't hand over our government to someone whose deepest, darkest secrets may be in the hands of our enemies. Can't do it." ** speech, {{#formatdate:2016-06-22}}, quoted in {{citation |date=2016-06-22 |title=Nobody brings the crazy quite like Trump |author=Dana Milbank |periodical=Washington Post |url=http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/nobody-brings-the-crazy-quite-like-trump/2016/06/22/74ba5692-38bd-11e6-9ccd-d6005beac8b3_story.html}} ====July 2016==== * [[Saddam Hussein]] was a bad guy. Right? He was a bad guy, really bad guy. But you know what he did well? He killed terrorists. He did that so good. They didn't read them the rights—they didn't talk, they were a terrorist, it was over. [...] Today, Iraq is Harvard for terrorism. You want to be a terrorist, you go to Iraq. It's like Harvard. Okay? So sad. ** At a campaign rally in Raleigh, North Carolina (July 5, 2016), as cited in [https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2016/07/05/donald-trump-praises-saddam-hussein-for-killing-terrorists-so-good/ "Donald Trump praises Saddam Hussein for killing terrorists ‘so good’"] ''The Washington Post'' (July 5, 2016). ** [[w:Jake Sullivan|Jake Sullivan]], then a policy advisor to Hillary Clinton, stated: "Hussein's regime was a sponsor of terrorism — one that paid families of suicide bombers who attacked Israelis, among other crimes." * I'll stand up for Article Two, Article 12, you name it of the Constitution. ** About the U.S. Constitution, which only has seven articles and 27 amendments; as recounted by [[Mark Sanford]], quoted in [http://talkingpointsmemo.com/dc/trump-changes-few-minds-with-meeting-on-the-hill "Trump Manages To Give Some House GOPers More Heartburn In Hill Meeting"] (2016), ''Talking Points Memo'' (July 7, 2016). * ''[Interviewer: You're not known to be a humble man. But I wonder—]'' I think I am actually humble. I think I'm much more humble than you would understand. ** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1R42mFx3_ss During an interview] by {{WP|Lesley Stahl}} on ''{{WP|60 Minutes}}'' (17 July 2016) * Russia, if you're listening, I hope you're able to find the 30,000 emails that are missing. I think you will probably be rewarded mightily by our press. ** Press conference, reported in Ashley Parker and David E. Sanger, "[http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/28/us/politics/donald-trump-russia-clinton-emails.html? Donald Trump Calls on Russia to Find Hillary Clinton's Missing Emails], ''The New York Times'' (July 27, 2016). * Though [[Bernie Sanders|Bernie]] is exhausted and has given up on his [[revolution]], many of his voters still want to keep up the fight. I expect that millions of Bernie voters will refuse to vote for Hillary because of her support for the War in Iraq, the [[2011 Libyan civil war|invasion of Libya]], [[wikipedia:North American Free Trade Agreement|NAFTA]] and [[w:Trans-Pacific Partnership|TPP]], and of course because she is totally bought and sold by [[Special-interest group|special interests]]. She and [[Bill Clinton|her husband]] have been paid millions and millions by [[Multinational corporation|global corporations]] and powerful interests who will control her every decision. She is their puppet, and they pull the strings. We welcome with open arms all voters who want an honest [[Federal government of the United States|government]] and to fix [[Politics of the United States|our rigged system]] so it works for the people. This includes fixing one of Bernie's biggest issues, our terrible trade deals that strip our country of its jobs and wealth. ** ''[http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2016/07/donald-trump-reddit-ama-ask-me-anything/493361/ How Donald Trump Beat Reddit]'', ''{{w|The Atlantic}}'' (July 28, 2016) * The things that were said about me. … You know what, I wanted to hit a couple of those speakers so hard. ... I was gonna hit one guy in particular, a very little guy. I was gonna hit this guy so hard, his head would spin. He wouldn't know what the hell happened. ** Press conference, reported in Jacob Bogage, "[https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/07/29/i-wanted-to-hit-a-couple-of-those-speakers-so-hard-trump-says-of-dem-convention-critics/ ‘I wanted to hit a couple of those speakers so hard', Trump says of Democratic convention]", ''The Washington Post'' (July 29, 2016). * A guy who didn't have the guts to run for president. Little Michael. He doesn't know anything about me. But he never had the guts to run. He probably wished he did but he didn't. He spent millions of dollars on polling but he was missing one thing: guts. Little Michael. ** On [[Michael Bloomberg]]'s speech about Trump. At an interview with ''[[wikipedia:The New York Times|The New York Times'<nowiki/>]]'' [[Maureen Dowd]]. [http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/30/opinion/trumps-thunderbolts.html] (July 29, 2016) * Obama gave a good speech but not nearly as good as the press would have you believe. Whether it's good or bad, the press will say it's fantastic. In many ways, I like Obama. It's hard to define. There's something about him I do like. I'm embarrassed to admit it. I give him a lot of credit. It's very unique and very hard to do and I give him tremendous credit. He became a two-term president of the United States. He's got some quality going. ** At an interview with ''[[wikipedia:The New York Times|The New York Times'<nowiki/>]]'' [[Maureen Dowd]]. [http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/30/opinion/trumps-thunderbolts.html] (July 29, 2016) * Emails in general are terrible. There's no security. It happens so often. I'm old-fashioned. I put a letter in an envelope and have it hand delivered. My son is 10 years old, and he has grown up [[Computers|computer]] literate. They start using computers before they can walk. His computer was locked and he unlocked it. And I said, ‘[[w:Barron Trump|Barron]], how did you do that?' And he said, ‘I won't tell you, Dad. ** At an interview with ''[[wikipedia:The New York Times|The New York Times'<nowiki/>]]'' [[Maureen Dowd]]. [http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/30/opinion/trumps-thunderbolts.html] (July 29, 2016) * Putin said I was a genius. I do say this: Wouldn't it be wonderful if we actually could get along with Russia and China and some other countries that we don't get along with, and then we go out and knock the hell out of ISIS? Wouldn't it be nice if we cleaned that mess up? Wouldn't it be smart? ** At an interview with ''[[wikipedia:The New York Times|The New York Times'<nowiki/>]]'' [[Maureen Dowd]]. [http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/30/opinion/trumps-thunderbolts.html] (July 29, 2016) * I think he's a pervert. It's dangerous to allow him on the convention floor. ** About [[Anthony Weiner]] on the {{w|2016 Democratic National Convention}}. At an interview with ''[[wikipedia:The New York Times|The New York Times'<nowiki/>]]'' [[Maureen Dowd]]. [http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/30/opinion/trumps-thunderbolts.html] (July 29, 2016) * Captain [[wikipedia:Humayun Khan (soldier)|Humayun Khan]] was a hero to our country and we should honor all who have made the ultimate sacrifice to keep our country safe. The real problem here are the radical Islamic terrorists who killed him, and the efforts of these radicals to enter our country to do us further harm. Given the state of the world today, we have to know everything about those looking to enter our country, and given the state of chaos in some of these countries, that is impossible. While I feel deeply for the loss of his son, Mr. Khan who has never met me, has no right to stand in front of millions of people and claim I have never read the Constitution, (which is false) and say many other inaccurate things. If I become President, I will make America safe again. * Hillary Clinton should be held accountable for her central role in destabilizing the Middle East. She voted to send the United States to war against Iraq, helped lead the disastrous withdrawal of American troops years later that created the vacuum allowing the rise of ISIS, and has never met a [[wikipedia:United States involvement in regime change|regime change]] she didn't like (which have all been disasters) – not to mention her invasion of Libya and her abandonment of American personnel in Benghazi. The loss of these lives in Libya is directly traceable to Clinton, but their families' testimonials were rejected by the media. * Clinton's actions have been reckless and have directly led to the loss of American lives. And her extreme immigration policies, as also laid out by American victims in Cleveland, will cause the preventable deaths of countless more -- while putting all residents, from all places, at greater risk of terrorism. As Bernie Sanders said on numerous occasions, Hillary Clinton suffers from "bad judgement." She is not qualified to serve as Commander in Chief. ** Written statement responding to [[Khizr M. Khan]] [http://web.archive.org/web/20160731082150/https://www.donaldjtrump.com/press-releases/setting-the-record-straight] (July 30, 2016) ====={{w|2016 Republican National Convention}} (21 July 2016)===== [[File:Donald Trump 2016 RNC speech (1).jpg|thumb|I have joined the [[political]] arena so that the [[powerful]] can no longer beat up on [[people]] that cannot defend themselves. <br /> Nobody knows the [[system]] better than me, which is why I alone can fix it.]] : <small>[https://www.vox.com/2016/7/21/12253426/donald-trump-acceptance-speech-transcript-republican-nomination-transcript "Full transcript of Donald Trump’s acceptance speech at the RNC", ''Vox'' (22 July 2016)] · [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fs0pZ_GrTy8 "Donald Trump's entire Republican convention speech", ''CNN'' (21 July 2016)] · [http://www.politico.com/story/2016/07/full-transcript-donald-trump-nomination-acceptance-speech-at-rnc-225974 Donald Trump 2016 RNC draft speech transcript], ''{{w|Politico}}'' (21 July 2016)</small> * The attacks on our [[Law enforcement in the United States|police]], and the terrorism in our cities, threaten our very way of life. Any politician who does not grasp this danger is not fit to lead our country. * Americans watching this address tonight have seen the recent images of violence in our streets and the chaos in our communities. Many have witnessed this violence personally. Some have even been its victims. <br /> I have a message for all of you: The crime and violence that today afflicts our nation will soon — and I mean very soon come to an end. Beginning on January 20th 2017, safety will be restored. <br /> The most basic duty of government is to defend the lives of its citizens. Any government that fails to do so is a government unworthy to lead. * It is finally time for a straightforward assessment of the state of our nation. I will present the facts plainly and honestly. We cannot afford to be so politically correct anymore. <br /> So if you want to hear the corporate spin, the carefully-crafted lies, and the media myths — the Democrats are holding their convention next week. Go there. <br /> But here, at our convention, there will be no lies. We will honor the American people with the truth, and nothing else. * Decades of progress made in bringing down crime are now being reversed by this Administration's rollback of criminal enforcement. * America is far less safe – and the world is far less stable – than when Obama made the decision to put Hillary Clinton in charge of America's foreign policy. I am certain it is a decision he truly regrets. Her bad instincts and her bad judgment – something pointed out by Bernie Sanders – are what caused the disasters unfolding today. * This is the legacy of Hillary Clinton: death, destruction and weakness. * The problems we face now – [[Poverty in the United States|poverty]] and violence at home, war and destruction abroad – will last only as long as we continue relying on the same politicians who created them. A change in leadership is required to change these outcomes. * There can be no prosperity without [[wikipedia:Law and order (politics)|law and order]] * Our plan will put America First. [[wikipedia:Americanism (ideology)|Americanism]], not globalism, will be our credo. As long as we are led by politicians who will not put America First, then we can be assured that other nations will not treat America with respect. * Big business, elite media and major donors are lining up behind the campaign of my opponent because they know she will keep our rigged system in place. They are throwing money at her because they have total control over everything she does. She is their puppet, and they pull the strings. That is why Hillary Clinton's message is that things will never change. My message is that things have to change – and they have to change right now. * Every day I wake up determined to deliver for the people I have met all across this nation that have been neglected, ignored, and abandoned. I have visited the laid-off factory workers, and the communities crushed by our horrible and unfair trade deals. These are the forgotten men and women of our country, and they are forgotten, but they're not going to be forgotten long. These are people who work hard but no longer have a voice. I AM YOUR VOICE. * I have no patience for injustice, no tolerance for government incompetence, no sympathy for leaders who fail their citizens. * When innocent people suffer, because our political system lacks the will, or the courage, or the basic decency to enforce our [[Law|laws]] – or worse still, has sold out to some corporate lobbyist for cash – I am not able to look the other way. * When a [[United States Secretary of State|Secretary of State]] illegally stores her emails on a private server, deletes 33,000 of them so the authorities can't see her crime, puts our country at risk, lies about it in every different form and faces no consequence – I know that corruption has reached a level like never before. * I have joined the political arena so that the powerful can no longer beat up on people that cannot defend themselves. '''Nobody knows the system better than me, which is why I alone can fix it'''. <br /> I have seen firsthand how the system is rigged against our citizens, just like it was rigged against Bernie Sanders – he never had a chance. * [[Mike Pence|He]] (Mike Pence) is a man of character and accomplishment. He is the right man for the job. * An attack on law enforcement is an attack on all Americans. I have a message to every last person threatening the peace on our streets and the safety of our police: when I take the oath of office next year, I will restore law and order our country. * In this race for the White House, I am the Law And Order candidate. ... I will work to ensure that all of our kids are treated equally, and protected equally. ** "I am the law-and-order candidate" was a phrase used by [[Richard Nixon]] during his [[w:Richard Nixon 1968 presidential campaign|1968 presidential campaign]]. * Once again, [[France]] is the [[wikipedia:2016 Nice attack|victim of brutal Islamic terrorism]]. Men, women and children viciously mowed down. Lives ruined. Families ripped apart. A nation in mourning. * I will do everything in my power to protect our [[LGBT]] citizens from the violence and oppression of a hateful foreign ideology. * We must work with all of our allies who share our goal of destroying ISIS and stamping out Islamic terror. This includes working with our greatest ally in the region, the State of Israel. * We must immediately suspend immigration from any nation that has been compromised by terrorism until such time as proven vetting mechanisms have been put in place. * I only want to admit individuals into our country who will support our values and love our people. Anyone who endorses violence, hatred or oppression is not welcome in our country and never will be. * Decades of record immigration have produced lower wages and higher unemployment for our citizens, especially for African-American and Latino workers. We are going to have an immigration system that works, but one that works for the American people. * Of all my travels in this country, nothing has affected me more deeply than the time I have spent with the mothers and fathers who have lost their children to violence spilling across our border. * We are going to build a great border wall to stop illegal immigration, to stop the gangs and the violence, and to stop the drugs from pouring into our communities. * We are going to be considerate and compassionate to everyone. But my greatest compassion will be for our own struggling citizens. * I pledge to never sign any trade agreement that hurts our workers, or that diminishes our freedom and independence. Instead, I will make individual deals with individual countries. * No longer will we enter into these massive deals, with many countries, that are thousands of pages long – and which no one from our country even reads or understands. We are going to enforce all trade violations, including through the use of taxes and tariffs, against any country that cheats. * My Dad, {{w|Fred Trump}}, was the smartest and hardest working man I ever knew. * America is a nation of believers, dreamers, and strivers that is being led by a group of censors, critics, and cynics. * All of the people telling you that you can't have the country you want, are the same people telling you that I wouldn't be standing here tonight. No longer can we rely on those elites in media, and politics, who will say anything to keep a rigged system in place. * My opponent asks her supporters to recite a three word loyalty pledge. It reads, "I'm with her." I choose to recite a different pledge. My pledge reads, "I'm with you – the American people." I am your voice. So to every parent who dreams for their child, and every child who dreams for a better future, I say these words to you tonight: I'm with you, and I will fight for you, and I will win for you. To all Americans tonight, in all of our cities and towns, I make this promise: We will make America proud again, we will make America strong again, we will make America safe again, and we will Make America Great Again! God bless you and good night! I love you! ====August 2016==== [[File:Classified documents at Mar-a-Lago bathroom.jpg|thumb|In my administration, I'm going to enforce all [[laws]] concerning the [[protection]] of classified information. No one will be above the law.]] * He’s not going into Ukraine, OK, just so you understand. He’s not going to go into Ukraine, all right? You can mark it down. You can put it down. You can take it anywhere you want. ** Claimed about the Russian president Vladimir Putin after Putin had invaded Crimea, Ukraine and while fighting a war in Donbass, Ukraine, quoted in [https://edition.cnn.com/2016/07/31/politics/donald-trump-russia-ukraine-crimea-putin/index.html "Trump says Putin is ‘not going to go into Ukraine,’ despite Crimea"], ''CNN'' (August 1, 2016) * Don't worry about that baby. I love babies. I hear that baby crying, I like it. What a baby. What a beautiful baby. Don't worry, don't worry. The mom's running around like—don't worry about it, you know. It's young and beautiful and healthy and that's what we want. [...] Actually, I was only kidding, you can get the baby out of here. That's all right. Don't worry. I, I think she really believed me that I love having a baby crying while I'm speaking. That's OK. People don't understand. That's OK. ** [http://www.politico.com/story/2016/08/trump-kicks-out-baby-rally-226566 At a rally in Ashburn, Virginia.] (August 2, 2016) * He's a terrible president, he'll probably go down as the worst president in the history of our country, he's been a total disaster. ** On Barack Obama during an interview with [[wikipedia:WJLA-TV|WJLA]]. {{citation |date=2016-08-02 |author=Eric Bradner |title=Trump responds to Obama: 'He's a terrible president' |periodical=CNN |url=http://edition.cnn.com/2016/08/02/politics/donald-trump-obama-election-2016/}} * [[Hillary Clinton|Hillary]] wants to abolish, essentially abolish, the [[Second Amendment to the United States Constitution|second amendment]]. '''If she gets to pick her judges, nothing you can do, folks. Although the second amendment people, maybe there is''', I don't know. But I'll tell you what, that will be a horrible day. ** Rally in [[w:Wilmington, North Carolina|Wilmington, North Carolina]] on August 9, 2016 ({{cite news |title=Donald Trump Suggests ‘Second Amendment People' Could Act Against Hillary Clinton |newspaper=[[w:The New York Times|The New York Times]] |first1=Nick |last1=Corasaniti |authorlink2=w:Maggie Haberman |first2=Maggie |last2=Haberman |date=August 9, 2016 |accessdate=November 15, 2018 |url=https://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/10/us/politics/donald-trump-hillary-clinton.html}}; {{cite news |title=Donald Trump hints at assassination of Hillary Clinton by gun rights supporters |first=David |last=Smith |date=August 10, 2016 |accessdate=November 15, 2018 |newspaper=[[w:The Guardian|The Guardian]] |url=https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/aug/09/trump-gun-owners-clinton-judges-second-amendment}}). * In my administration, I'm going to enforce all laws concerning the protection of classified information. No one will be above the law. ** Statement in a [https://www.c-span.org/video/?414134-1/donald-trump-campaign-rally-charlotte-north-carolina campaign rally in Charlotte, North Carolina (18 August 2016)], as quoted in [https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/trump-classified-above-law/ "Yes, Trump Said 'No One Will Be Above the Law' Regarding Protection of Classified Information" (9 June 2023)] * [[ISIS]] is honoring President Obama. He is the founder of ISIS. He founded ISIS. And I would say the co-founder would be crooked [[Hillary Clinton]]. ** During a Florida rally at the BB&T Center in Sunrise, as quoted in [http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/donald-trump-president-barack-obama-founder-isis/story?id=41286869 "Donald Trump: President Barack Obama 'Is the Founder of ISIS'"] by David Caplan, ''ABC News'' (August 10, 2016) * I will always tell you the truth. ** [https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2016/8/19/1561877/-Trump-I-will-always-tell-you-the-truth-up-to-30-percent-of-the-time "Trump: “I will always tell you the truth” up to 30 percent of the time"], ''Daily Kos'' (August 19, 2024) * No group in America has been more harmed by Hillary Clinton's policies than African-Americans. If Hillary Clinton's goal was to inflict pain on the African-American community, she could not have done a better job. It's a disgrace. Tonight, I'm asking for the vote of every single African-American citizen in this country who wants to see a better future. The inner cities of our country have been run by the Democratic party for more than fifty years. Their policies have reduced only [[Poverty in the United States|poverty]], joblessness, failing schools and broken homes. It's time to hold Democratic politicians accountable for what they have done to these communities. At what point do we say, "enough?" It's time to hold failed leaders accountable for their results not just their empty words over and over again. Look at what the Democratic party has done to the city as an example and there are many others of Detroit: forty percent of Detroit's residents live in poverty. Half of all Detroit residents do not work and cannot work and can't get a job. Detroit tops the list of most dangerous cities in terms of violent crime. This is the legacy of the Democratic politicians who have run this city. This is the result of the policy agenda embraced by Hillary Clinton: thirty-three thousand emails gone. The only way to change results is to change leadership. We can never fix our problems by relying on the same politicians who created our problems in the first place. A new future requires brand new leadership. Look how much African-American communities suffered under Democratic control. To those I say the following: What do you have to lose by trying something new like Trump. What do you have to lose? I say it again, what do you have to lose. Look, what do you have to lose? You're living your poverty, your schools are no good, you have no jobs. Fifty-eight percent of your youth is unemployed? What the hell do you have to lose? And at the end of four years, I guarantee you, that I will get over ninety-five percent of the African-American vote. I promise you. ** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5B5m1S5VTA Speech to the African-American community in Dimondale, Michigan] (August 19, 2016) * I'm going to be working for you. I'm not going to have time to go play golf. ** [https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/politics/wp/2017/02/13/trump-used-to-have-a-slightly-different-opinion-of-presidents-playing-golf/?utm_term=.d2f026a42e9c Trump used to have a slightly different opinion of presidents playing golf] by Phillip Bump, Washington Post, August 8 Virginia rally (August 20, 2016) * Immigration security, we need to protect American jobs. We need to protect American safety. We're going to build a wall folks, don't worry, we're going to build a wall. That wall will go up so fast, your heads will spin. And you'll say, "you know, know he meant it!" And you know what else I mean? Mexico is going to pay for the wall. ** On immigration at a rally in Akron, Ohio (22 August 2016) * It's our right as a sovereign nation to choose immigrants that we think are the likeliest to thrive and flourish and love us. ** Immigration speech (31 August 2016), quoted in [http://fox59.com/2016/08/31/donald-trump-delivers-immigration-speech-after-meeting-with-mexican-president/ "Donald Trump delivers immigration speech after meeting with Mexican president"] by CNN Wire, ''[[wikipedia:WXIN|Fox 59]]''. * The fundamental problem with the immigration system in our country is that it serves the needs of wealthy donors, political activists and powerful politicians. Let me tell you who it doesn’t serve: it doesn’t serve you, the American people. ** [https://www.politico.com/story/2016/08/donald-trump-immigration-address-transcript-227614 Immigration speech], Arizona (31 August 2016) * When politicians talk about immigration reform, they usually mean the following: amnesty, open borders, and lower wages. Immigration reform should mean something else entirely: it should mean improvements to our laws and policies to make life better for American citizens. But if we are going to make our immigration system work, then we have to be prepared to talk honestly and without fear about these important and sensitive issues. ** [https://www.politico.com/story/2016/08/donald-trump-immigration-address-transcript-227614 Immigration speech], Arizona (31 August 2016) * To all the politicians, donors and special interests, hear these words from me today: there is only one core issue in the immigration debate and it is this: the well-being of the American people. Nothing even comes a close second. ** [https://www.politico.com/story/2016/08/donald-trump-immigration-address-transcript-227614 Immigration speech], Arizona (31 August 2016) * You’re stealing my money! You’re stealing my fucking money! What the fuck is this? Why are you letting him steal my fucking money?<br>Fuck the law. I don’t give a fuck about the law. I want my fucking money. **??? when informed he was required to fund a transition. [https://www.theguardian.com/news/2018/sep/27/this-guy-doesnt-know-anything-the-inside-story-of-trumps-shambolic-transition-team 27 September 2018 article in The Guardian by Michael Lewis ] =====Speech in Jackson, Mississippi (August 24, 2016)===== <small>Speech in {{w|Jackson, Mississippi}}. As quoted by ''{{w|CBS}}'' and ''{{w|The Hindu}}'' [http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2016/08/24/trump-clinton-bigot/][http://www.thehindu.com/news/international/republican-presidential-candidate-donald-trump-speaks-at-an-election-rally-in-mississippi/article9031151.ece] (August 24, 2016)</small> * '''Hillary Clinton is a bigot who sees people of color only as votes, not as human beings worthy of a better future.''' She's going to do nothing for African-Americans. She's going to do nothing for the Hispanics. She's only going to take care of herself, her consultants, her donors, these are the people she cares about. She doesn't care what her policies have done to your communities. She doesn't care. Remember this, you've had her policies — Democrats running some of the inner cities for 50, 70, 80, even over 100 years. And look what you have right now: poverty, no education, crime, you can't walk down the street with your child. We're going to fix it. Hillary Clinton has no remorse. I will fight to create a better future for every American. * Eight years of Obama-Clinton policies have sacrificed our safety and undermined our freedom and independence. ... The Obama-Clinton foreign policy has unleashed ISIS, destabilised the Middle East and put the nation of Iran — which chants [[Death to America]] — in a dominant position of regional power and, in fact, aspiring to be a dominant world power. * Our jobs have moved overseas, Islamic terrorism has spread within our shores and an open border has crushed low-income workers and threatened our security. The issues we face here in America are similar to the issues faced in Britain during their referendum on membership in the EU. This is the movement known as Brexit * Hillary wants to surrender America to globalism. She wants a country without borders. She wants trade deals written for the benefit of foreign corporations. She wants a government that ignores the will of the people. She wants to sell out American security to the Clinton Foundation for a pile of cash. It is hard to tell where the Clinton Foundation ends and the [[United States Department of State|State Department]] begins. ... Hillary Clinton has betrayed her duty to the people. * The job of a public official is to serve and protect the citizens of the United States. Not illegal immigrants, not foreign nationals seeking entry, but the people living here lawfully today — including millions of African-American and Hispanic citizens. * I will fight for their security, I will fight for their jobs, I will fight for their families. One American Nation. * It's time for America to recapture its destiny. Our government, our leaders, and our media have lost touch with the people. You need no better evidence of that than the fact that the media ignores the plight of Americans who have lost their children to illegal immigrants, but spends day after day pushing for amnesty for those here in violation of the law. * This is the legacy of Hillary Clinton: death, destruction, terrorism and weakness. But Hillary Clinton's legacy doesn't have to be America's legacy. * I have a message for the terrorists trying to kill our citizens: we will find you, we will destroy you, and we will win. This is not only a military fight, but we will also require cyberwarfare and financial warfare. It is also an ideological fight. We will confront directly the hateful ideology of Radical Islam — and promote American values, and American culture, and America's system of government. ====September 2016==== * We can't have someone in the Oval Office who doesn't understand the meaning of the word "confidential" or "classified". ** [http://edition.cnn.com/2017/05/15/politics/donald-trump-classified-information/ Trump campaign speech in Greenville, North Carolina] (6 September 2016) * For the first time in a long while, [[Hillary Clinton|her]] true feelings came out, showing bigotry and hatred for millions of Americans. How can she be President of our country when she has such contempt and disdain for so many great Americans? ** {{cite news |title=Clinton walks back 'deplorables' comment: I 'regret' using the term to describe 'half' of Trump's supporters |first=Beremy |last=Berke |work=[[w:Business Insider|Business Insider]] |date=10 September 2016 |url=http://www.businessinsider.com/clinton-regrets-deplorables-comment-2016-9/}} * While my opponent slanders you as deplorable... I call you hard-working, American patriots. ** [https://www.c-span.org/video/?415085-1/donald-trump-campaigns-ashville-north-carolina Donald Trump Campaign Rally in Ashville, North Carolina], ''C-SPAN.org'' (12 September 2016). *OK, what I do is, wash it with Head and Shoulders. I don't dry it, though. I let it dry by itself. It takes about an hour. Then I read papers and things…I also watch TV…OK, so I've done all that. I then comb my hair. Yes, I do use a comb…<br>Do I comb it forward? No, I don't comb it forward…I actually don't have a bad hairline. When you think about it, it's not bad. I mean, I get a lot of credit for comb-overs. But it's not really a comb-over. It's sort of a little bit forward and back. I've combed it the same way for years. Same thing, every time. **[https://www.newsmax.com/thewire/jimmy-fallon-donald-trump-mess-up-hair/2016/09/16/id/748677/ 15 September 2016 to Jimmy Fallon] * Hillary Clinton and her campaign of 2008 started the birther controversy. I finished it. I finished it. You know what I mean. President Barack Obama was born in the United States, period. Now we all want to get back to making America strong and great again. ** {{cite news |title=Trump finally says Obama born in U.S., blames Clinton for controversy |work=USA Today |date=16 September 2016 |url=http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/elections/2016/2016/09/16/donald-trump-barack-obama-hillary-clinton-presidential-campaign-birtherism/90471868/}} ** [[wikipedia:Barack Obama citizenship conspiracy theories|Conspiracy theories about Barack Obama's citizenship]] were not started by Hillary Clinton's 2008 campaign according to ''[http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2016/sep/16/donald-trump/fact-checking-donald-trumps-claim-hillary-clinton-/ PolitiFact.com]'', and Trump continued to question Obama's citizenship for years after he released his long-form birth certificate in 2011[http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2016/sep/16/donald-trump/donald-trumps-pants-fire-claim-he-finished-obama-b/]. * People don't know how great you are. People don't know how smart you are. These are the smart people. These are the smart people. These are really the smart people. And they never like to say it, but I say it. And I'm a smart person. These are the smart. We have the smartest people. We have the smartest people. And they know it. Some say it, but they hate to say it. But we have the smartest people. ** Council Bluffs, Iowa, quoted in {{citation |date=2016-09-29 |title=Donald Trump's Bizarre Speech: 'You Are The Smartest People' |periodical=Leading Britain's Conversation |url=https://www.lbc.co.uk/politics/us-election/donald-trump/donald-trumps-bizarre-speech-smartest-people/}} * On the question if he would honor the results of the election should he lose:<br>"We're going to have to see. We're going to see what happens. We're going to have to see." ** [http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/01/us/politics/donald-trump-interview-bill-hillary-clinton.html?_r=0 In an interview with the New York Times]; [http://www.nbcnews.com/card/trump-appears-back-pledge-support-clinton-if-she-wins-n657866 Trump Appears to Back Off Pledge to Support Clinton If She Wins], NBC News (30 September 2016) =====First presidential debate (September 26, 2016)===== <small>[https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/09/26/the-first-trump-clinton-presidential-debate-transcript-annotated/#annotations:10505575 Transcript], ''{{w|Washington Post}}''</small> * Our jobs are fleeing the country. They're going to Mexico. They're going to many other countries. You look at what China is doing to our country in terms of making our product. They're devaluing their currency, and there's nobody in our government to fight them. And we have a very good fight. And we have a winning fight. Because they're using our country as a piggy bank to rebuild China, and many other countries are doing the same thing. ... We have to stop our jobs from being stolen from us. We have to stop our companies from leaving the United States and, with it, firing all of their people. ... We cannot let it happen. Under my plan, I'll be reducing taxes tremendously, from 35 percent to 15 percent for companies, small and big businesses. That's going to be a job creator like we haven't seen since [[Ronald Reagan]]. It's going to be a beautiful thing to watch. Companies will come. They will build. They will expand. New companies will start. And I look very, very much forward to doing it. We have to renegotiate our trade deals, and we have to stop these countries from stealing our companies and our jobs. * Our country's in deep trouble. We don't know what we're doing when it comes to devaluations and all of these countries all over the world, especially China. They're the best, the best ever at it. What they're doing to us is a very, very sad thing. * But in all fairness to Secretary Clinton, when she started talking about this, it was really very recently. She's been doing this for 30 years. And why hasn't she made the agreements better? The NAFTA agreement is defective. Just because of the tax and many other reasons, but just because of the fact Secretary Clinton and others, politicians, should have been doing this for years, not right now, because of the fact that we've created a movement. * The first thing you do is don't let the jobs leave. The companies are leaving. I could name, I mean, there are thousands of them. They're leaving, and they're leaving in bigger numbers than ever. And what you do is you say, fine, you want to go to Mexico or some other country, good luck. We wish you a lot of luck. But if you think you're going to make your air conditioners or your cars or your cookies or whatever you make and bring them into our country without a tax, you're wrong. And once you say you're going to have to tax them coming in, and our politicians never do this, because they have special interests and the special interests want those companies to leave, because in many cases, they own the companies. So what I'm saying is, we can stop them from leaving. We have to stop them from leaving. And that's a big, big factor. * '''CLINTON''': Donald was one of the people who rooted for the [[wikipedia:United States housing bubble|housing crisis]]. He said, back in 2006, "Gee, I hope it does collapse, because then I can go in and buy some and make some money." Well, it did collapse. : '''TRUMP''': That's called business, by the way. * We invested in a solar company, our country. That was a disaster. They lost plenty of money on that one. Now, look, I'm a great believer in all forms of [[energy]], but we're putting a lot of people out of work. Our energy policies are a disaster. Our country is losing so much in terms of energy, in terms of paying off our debt. You can't do what you're looking to do with $20 trillion in debt. The Obama administration, from the time they've come in, is over 230 years' worth of debt, and he's topped it. He's doubled it in a course of almost eight years, seven-and-a-half years, to be semi- exact. * We have to do a much better job at giving companies incentives to build new companies or to expand, because they're not doing it. * NAFTA is the worst trade deal maybe ever signed anywhere, but certainly ever signed in this country. And now you [Hillary Clinton] [[wikipedia:Political positions of Hillary Clinton#Trans-Pacific_Partnership|want to approve Trans-Pacific Partnership]]. You were totally in favor of it. Then you heard what I was saying, how bad it is, and you said, I can't win that debate. But you know that if you did win, you would approve that, and that will be almost as bad as NAFTA. Nothing will ever top NAFTA. * You are going to approve one of the [[wikipedia:Political positions of Hillary Clinton#Fiscal_policy_and_taxation|biggest tax cuts in history]]. You are going to approve one of the biggest tax increases in history. You are going to drive business out. Your regulations are a disaster, and you're going to increase regulations all over the place. And by the way, my tax cut is the biggest since [[wikipedia:Reaganomics|Ronald Reagan]]. I'm very proud of it. It will create tremendous numbers of new jobs. But regulations, you are going to regulate these businesses out of existence. ... The things that business as in people like the most is the fact that I'm cutting regulation. You have regulations on top of regulations, and new companies cannot form and old companies are going out of business. And you want to increase the regulations and make them even worse. I'm going to cut regulations. I'm going to cut taxes big league, and you're going to raise taxes big league, end of story. * She's telling us how to fight ISIS. Just go to her website. She tells you how to fight ISIS on her website. I don't think General [[Douglas MacArthur]] would like that too much. ... See, you're telling the enemy everything you want to do. No wonder you've been fighting ISIS your entire adult life. * I'm really calling for major jobs, because the wealthy are going create tremendous jobs. They're going to expand their companies. They're going to do a tremendous job. I'm getting rid of the carried interest provision. And if you really look, it's not a tax -- it's really not a great thing for the wealthy. It's a great thing for the middle class. It's a great thing for companies to expand. * We have the worst revival of an economy since the [[Great Depression]]. And believe me: '''We're in a bubble right now. And the only thing that looks good is the [[stock market]], but if you raise [[interest]] rates even a little bit, that's going to come [[Stock market crash|crashing down]].''' * I will release them as soon as the [[Auditor|audit]]. Look, I've been under audit almost for 15 years. I know a lot of wealthy people that have never been audited. I said, do you get audited? I get audited almost every year. And in a way, I should be complaining. I'm not even complaining. I don't mind it. It's almost become a way of life. I get audited by the [[IRS]]. But other people don't. I will say this. We have a situation in this country that has to be taken care of. I will release my tax returns -- against my lawyer's wishes -- when she [Hillary Clinton] releases her 33,000 e-mails that have been deleted. As soon as she releases them, I will release. ** About releasing his tax returns. * That makes me smart. ** About that Trump didn't pay [[wikipedia:Income tax in the United States|federal income taxes]]. * That was more than a mistake. That was done purposely. OK? That was not a mistake. That was done purposely. When you have your staff taking the [[Fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution|Fifth Amendment]], taking the Fifth so they're not prosecuted, when you have the man that set up the illegal server taking the Fifth, I think it's disgraceful. ** About {{w|Hillary Clinton email controversy}} * As far as my tax returns, you don't learn that much from tax returns. That I can tell you. You learn a lot from financial disclosure. And you should go down and take a look at that. * I am very under[[wiktionary:leverage|leveraged]]. I have a great company. I have a tremendous income. And the reason I say that is not in a braggadocios way. It's because it's about time that this country had somebody running it that has an idea about money. * Maybe he didn't do a good job and I was unsatisfied with his work ... On occasion, four times, we used certain laws that are there. And when Secretary Clinton talks about people that didn't get paid, first of all, they did get paid a lot, but taken advantage of the laws of the nation. Now, if you want to change the laws, you've been there a long time, change the laws. But I take advantage of the laws of the nation because I'm running a company. My obligation right now is to do well for myself, my family, my employees, for my companies. And that's what I do. ... She [Hillary Clinton] doesn't say is that tens of thousands of people that are unbelievably happy and that love me. ** About not having paid to some of his employees. * We need law and order. If we don't have it, we're not going to have a country. ... We need law and order in our country. * We have a situation where we have our inner cities, [[African American|African- Americans]], [[w:Hispanic American|Hispanics]] are living in hell because it's so dangerous. You walk down the street, you get shot. * Now, whether or not in a place like Chicago you do [[wikipedia:Frisking|stop and frisk]], which worked very well, [[Rudy Giuliani|Mayor Giuliani]] is here, [[wikipedia:Stop-and-frisk in New York City|worked very well in New York]]. It brought the crime rate way down. But you take the gun away from criminals that shouldn't be having it. We have [[wikipedia:Gangs in the United States|gangs roaming the street]]. And in many cases, they're illegally here, [[illegal immigrants]]. And they have guns. And they shoot people. And we have to be very strong. And we have to be very vigilant. * Our police, in many cases, are afraid to do anything. We have to protect our inner cities, because African-American communities are being decimated by crime, decimated. * '''HOLT''': Stop-and-frisk was ruled unconstitutional in New York, because it largely singled out black and Hispanic young men. : '''TRUMP''': No, you're wrong. It went before a judge, who was a very against-police judge. It was taken away from her. And our mayor, our new mayor, refused to go forward with the case. They would have won an appeal. If you look at it, throughout the country, there are many places where it's allowed. : '''HOLT''': The argument is that it's a form of racial profiling. : '''TRUMP''': No, the argument is that we have to take the guns away from these people that have them and they are bad people that shouldn't have them. * You need more police. You need a better community, you know, relation. ... You need better relationships between the communities and the police, because in some cases, it's not good. * So when you [Hillary Clinton] tried to act holier than thou, it really doesn't work. It really doesn't. * We should be better than anybody else, and perhaps we're not. I don't think anybody knows it was Russia that [[wikipedia:Democratic National Committee cyber attacks|broke into the DNC]]. She's saying Russia, Russia, Russia, but I don't -- maybe it was. I mean, it could be Russia, but it could also be China. It could also be lots of other people. It also could be somebody sitting on their bed that weighs 400 pounds, OK? * We have to get very, very tough on cyber and cyber warfare. * President Obama and Secretary Clinton created a vacuum the way they got [[wikipedia:Withdrawal of U.S. troops from Iraq|out of Iraq]], because they got out -- what, they shouldn't have been in, but once they got in, the way they got out was a disaster. And ISIS was formed. * I said it to you once, had we taken the [[oil]] -- and we should have taken the oil -- ISIS would not have been able to form either, because the [[wikipedia:Oil production and smuggling in ISIL|oil was their primary source of income]]. And now they have the oil all over the place, including the oil -- a lot of the oil in Libya, which was another one of her disasters. * You [Hillary Clinton] look at the Middle East, you started the Iran deal, that's another beauty where you have a country that was ready to fall, I mean, they were doing so badly. They were choking on the sanctions. And now they're going to be actually probably a major power at some point pretty soon, the way they're going. * I think we have to get [[NATO]] to go into the Middle East with us, in addition to surrounding nations, and we have to knock the hell out of ISIS, and we have to do it fast, when ISIS formed in this vacuum created by Barack Obama and Secretary Clinton. And believe me, you were the ones that took out the troops. ... When they formed, this is something that never should have happened. It should have never happened. Now, you're talking about taking out ISIS. But you were there, and you were secretary of state when it was a little infant. Now it's in over 30 countries. And you're going to stop them? I don't think so. * I think the best person in her [Clinton's] campaign is mainstream media. * The single greatest problem the world has is nuclear armament, nuclear weapons, not global warming, like you think and your -- your president thinks. ====October 2016==== * I'd never withdraw. I've never withdrawn in my life. ** [https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/amid-growing-calls-to-drop-out-trump-vows-to-never-withdraw/2016/10/08/8c0b5b7a-8d68-11e6-bff0-d53f592f176e_story.html?postshare=8561475940907652&tid=ss_tw phone call to the Washington Post] (8 October 2016) * So important that you get out and vote. So important that you watch other communities, because we don't want this election stolen from us. We don't want this election stolen from us. ** [https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/10/11/donald-trump-unplugged-as-ever/ Transcript of speech] at [[wikipedia:Ambridge, Pennsylvania|Ambridge, Pennsylvania]] (October 10, 2016) * '''Donald Trump''': Now, he's supposed to look like Donald Trump, but he's actually much too good looking. ''[to toddler]'' You are really handsome... Do you want to go back to [your parents] or do you want to stay with Donald Trump?<br>'''Toddler''': Trump. ** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snou8qrElnM Little Trump Look-Alike Comes on Stage with Donald in Wilkes-Barre 10/10/16], [[wikipedia:Right Side Broadcasting Network|Right Side Broadcasting]], ''YouTube''. Quoted in [http://people.com/politics/donald-trump-meets-his-mini-me-at-pennsylvania-rally/ "Donald Trump Meets His Mini-Me at Pennsylvania Rally"] by Dave Quinn, ''People.com'' (October 11, 2016). * Hillary Clinton meets in secret with international banks to plot the destruction of U.S. sovereignty in order to enrich these global financial powers, her special interest friends and her donors. * Honestly, she should be locked up. She should be. Should be locked up. ** [http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/14/us/politics/trump-comments-linked-to-antisemitism.html at a rally in West Palm Beach, Florida] (October 13, 2016) * She [Clinton] walks in front of me, she walks in front of me, you know. And when she walked in front of me, believe me I wasn't impressed. * Reporters at [[The New York Times]] are not journalists. They're corporate lobbyists for [[Carlos Slim Helú|Carlos Slim]] and Hillary Clinton. * Believe me: She [one of the women accusing him of sexual assault] would not be my first choice, that I can tell you. ** [http://www.cnn.com/2016/10/14/politics/donald-trump-hillary-clinton-appearance-debate/ at a rally in Greensboro, N.C.] Also quoted in [http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/15/us/politics/trump-speech-highlights.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&clickSource=story-heading&module=first-column-region&region=top-news&WT.nav=top-news Donald Trump's Barrage of Heated Rhetoric Has Little Precedent] (October 14, 2016) * Our movement is about replacing a failed and corrupt - and when I say corrupt, I'm talking about totally corrupt - political establishment [Obamacare] with a new government controlled by you, the American people. There is nothing the political establishment will not do. No lie that they won't tell to hold their prestige and power at your expense and that's what's been happening. The Washington establishment and the financial and media corporations that funded exist for only one reason: to protect and enrich itself. The establishment has trillions of dollars at stake in this election. As an example, just one single trade deal they'd like to pass involves trillions of dollars controlled by many countries, corporations, and lobbyists. For those who controlled the levels of power in Washington, and for the global special interests, they partner with these people that don't have your good in mind. Our campaign represents a true existential threat like they haven't seen before. ** At a campaign rally in Florida (13 October 2016) * No, no, lot of things are going on folks, lot of things. I think she's actually getting pumped up, if you want to know the truth, she's getting pumped up, you understand? In fact we're going to be talking about that in a few minutes. She's getting pumped up for Wednesday night. Let's see. You know, I don't know, maybe, we're like athletes, right? Hey, look, I beat seventeen senators, governors, I beat all these people, we're like athletes. Hillary beat Bernie, although it looks like Bernie got a little bit of a bad deal based on Wikileaks, right? If you look at Wikileaks. But we're like athletes, right? So athletes, they're making them more and more, but athletes, they make them take a drug test, right? I think we should take a drug test prior to the debate, I do. I think we should, why don't we do that? We should take a drug test, prior, because I don't know what's going on with her. But at the beginning of her last debate, she was all pumped up at the beginning, and at the end it was like, "Uh, take me down." She could barely reach her car. So I think we should take a drug test, I'm, er, anyway I'm willing to do it. ** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mE7YkeasOA At a rally in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, about his rival Hillary Clinton's performance during the presidential debates] (15 October 2016) * Such a nasty woman. [of Hillary Clinton] ** Third Presidential debate (19 October 2016), [http://fortune.com/2016/10/19/presidential-debate-third-transcript/ full transcript] at ''[[wikipedia:Fortune (magazine)|fortune.com]]''. * I would like to promise and pledge to all of my voters and supporters and to all of the people of the United States that I will totally accept the results of this great and historic presidential election, ''if I win''. ** 20 October 2016, quoted in {{citation |date=2016-10-20 |title=Donald Trump: 'I will totally accept' election results 'if I win' |author=Jeremy Diamond |periodical=CNN |url=https://edition.cnn.com/2016/10/20/politics/donald-trump-i-will-totally-accept-election-results-if-i-win/index.html}} * These events give not only the candidates a chance to be with each other in a very social setting; it also allows the candidates the opportunity to meet the other candidate's team — good team. I know Hillary met my campaign manager, and I got the chance to meet the people who are working so hard to get her elected. There they are — the heads of NBC, CNN, CBS, ABC — there's the New York Times, right over there, and the Washington Post. They're working overtime. True. True. Oh, this one’s going to get me in trouble. ** Al Smith charity dinner speech, 20 October 2016 *Hillary is so corrupt, she got kicked off the Watergate commission. **Al Smith charity dinner speech, [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/election-us-2016-37724391 20 October 2016] * I'm going to fight for every American in every last part of this nation. We have a president who doesn't fight. He goes out and plays golf all the time. ** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cC_3IxKcQIA Hardball with Chris Matthews, August 4, 2017] October 23 rally *She didn't know what to do, well how did you get him, uh well uh... they were sent by Russia! You know they're always using Russia **[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smKITCJJMnc&t=18m30s October 25, 2016 rally in Sanford] regarding [[Donna Brazile]] * And I have to give the [[Federal Bureau of Investigation|FBI]] credit, that was so bad, what happened, originally, and it took guts for [[James Comey|Director Comey]] to make the move that he made, in light of the kind of opposition he had, with their trying to protect her from criminal prosecution, you know that. It took a lot of guts, I really disagreed with him, I was not his fan, but I'll tell you what, what he did, he brought back his reputation, he brought it back. He's got to hang tough, because there's a lot of, lotta people, want him to do the wrong thing, what he did was the right thing. ** [http://edition.cnn.com/videos/politics/2016/10/31/donald-trump-james-comey-has-guts-grand-rapids-sot.cnn At a rally in Grand Rapids, Michigan] shortly after Comey announced the FBI would investigate further emails relating to Hillary Clinton, but before his statement that no incriminating information was found within them (31 October 2016) =====Second presidential debate (October 9, 2016)===== <small>[http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/10/us/politics/transcript-second-debate.html Transcript], ''{{w|New York Times}}''</small> * '''[[Anderson Cooper]]''': You bragged that you have [[Sexual assault|sexually assaulted]] women. Do you understand that?<br>'''Donald Trump''': No, I didn't say that at all. I don't think you understood what was — this was locker room talk. * I have great respect for women. Nobody has more respect for women than I do. * ...if I win, I am going to instruct my attorney general to get a special prosecutor to look into your [Hilary Clinton's] situation, because there has never been so many lies, so much deception. There has never been anything like it, and we're going to have a special prosecutor. * '''Hillary Clinton''': ...it's just awfully good that someone with the temperament of Donald Trump is not in charge of the law in our country.<br>'''Donald Trump''': Because you'd be in jail. * '''Cooper''': Please allow her to respond. She didn't talk while you talked.<br>'''Clinton''': Yes, that's true, I didn't.<br>'''Trump''': Because you have nothing to say. * '''[[wikipedia:Martha Raddatz|Martha Raddatz]]''': ...you, Secretary Clinton, purportedly say you need both a public and private position on certain issues....<br>'''Clinton''': As I recall, that was something I said about [[Abraham Lincoln]] after having seen [[Lincoln (2012 film)|the wonderful Steven Spielberg movie]] ...<br>'''Trump''': Now she's blaming the lie on the late, great Abraham Lincoln. That's one that I haven't... OK, Honest Abe, Honest Abe never lied. That's the good thing. That's the big difference between Abraham Lincoln and you. That's a big, big difference. We're talking about some difference. * I know nothing about Russia. I know — I know about Russia, but I know nothing about the inner workings of Russia. * '''Cooper''': Did you use that $916 million loss to avoid paying personal federal income taxes for years?<br>'''Trump''': Of course I do. Of course I do. And so do all of her donors, or most of her donors. ... I pay tremendous numbers of taxes. I absolutely used it. And so did Warren Buffett and so did George Soros and so did many of the other people that Hillary is getting money from. * ...NAFTA, signed by her husband, is perhaps the greatest disaster trade deal in the history of the world. ====November 2016==== * I'm also honored to have the greatest temperament that anybody has. ** Quoted by {{citation | author=Sam Stein | date=2016-11-03 |title=Donald Trump Is Honored To Have The Greatest Temperament, Donald Trump Says | periodical=Huffington Post | url=https://www.huffpost.com/entry/donald-trump-temperament_n_581b75d3e4b0b8e11a135eac}} * Our movement is about replacing a failed and corrupt political establishment with a new government controlled by you, the American people. The establishment has trillions of dollars at stake in this election. For those who control the levers of power in Washington and for the global special interests, they partner with these people that don't have your good in mind. The political establishment that is trying to stop us is the same group responsible for our disastrous trade deals, massive illegal immigration and economic and foreign policies that have bled our country dry. The political establishment has brought about the destruction of our factories and our jobs as they flee to Mexico, China and other countries all around the world. It's a global power structure that is responsible for the economic decisions that have robbed our working class, stripped our country of its wealth and put that money into the pockets of a handful of large corporations and political entities. The only thing that can stop this corrupt machine is you. The only force strong enough to save our country is us. The only people brave enough to vote out this corrupt establishment is you, the American people. I'm doing this for the people and the movement and we will take back this country for you and we will make America great again. I'm Donald Trump and I approve this message. ** Closing argument for America (4 November 2016) *** Lines recycled from Trump's campaign rally in West Palm Beach, FL (10/13/2016) * No dream is too big, no challenge is too great. Nothing we want for our future is beyond our reach. America will no longer settle for anything less than the best. ** [http://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/10/us/politics/trump-speech-transcript.html Victory Speech] (9 November 2016) * I think I'm a sober person. I think the press tries to make you into something a little bit different. In my case, a little bit of a wild man, I'm not, I'm actually not. I'm a very sober person. ** During an interview on 60 Minutes (11 November 2016) =====''New York Times'' Interview (November 23, 2016)===== : <small>''{{w|New York Times}}'' Interview, [http://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/23/us/politics/trump-new-york-times-interview-transcript.html?smid=tw-share Transcript] (November 23, 2016)</small> * People are giving up tremendous careers in order to be subject to you folks and subject to a lot of other folks. But they're giving up a lot. I mean some are giving up tremendous businesses in order to sit for four or maybe eight or whatever the period of time is. But I think we're going to see some tremendous talent, tremendous talent coming in. We have many people for every job. I mean no matter what the job is, we have many incredible people. I think, [[wikipedia:Reince Priebus|Reince]], you can sort of just confirm that. The quality of the people is very good. ... We're trying very hard to get the best people. Not necessarily people that will be the most politically correct people, because that hasn't been working. So we have really experts in the field. Some are known and some are not known, but they're known within their field as being the best. That's very important to me. * I think the popular vote would have been easier in a true sense because you'd go to a few places. I think that's the genius of the [[w:United States Electoral College|Electoral College]]. I was never a fan of the Electoral College until now. * What we do want to do is we want to bring the country together, because the country is very, very divided, and that's one thing I did see, big league. It's very, very divided, and I'm going to work very hard to bring the country together. * I want to move forward, I don't want to move back. And I don't want to hurt the Clintons. I really don't. She went through a lot. And suffered greatly in many different ways. And I am not looking to hurt them at all. The campaign was vicious. They say it was the most vicious primary and the most vicious campaign. I guess, added together, it was definitely the most vicious; probably, I assume you sold a lot of newspapers. ... It's just not something that I feel very strongly about. ... I'm not looking to look back and go through this. This was a very painful period. This was a very painful election with all of the email things and all of the foundation things and all of the everything that they went through and the whole country went through. This was a very painful period of time. ** About not prosecuting Hillary Clinton. * Our country's really in bad, big trouble. We have a lot of trouble. A lot of problems. And one of the big problems, I talk about, [[divisiveness]]. I think that a lot of people will appreciate … I'm not doing it for that reason. I'm doing it because it's time to go in a different direction. * '''Clean air is vitally important. Clean water, crystal clean water is vitally important. Safety is vitally important.''' * Sometimes I'll say I'm actually an [[environmentalist]] and people will smile in some cases and other people that know me understand that's true. Open mind. * We're not a competitive nation with other nations anymore. We have to make ourselves competitive. We're not competitive for a lot of reasons. That's becoming more and more of the reason. Because a lot of these countries that we do business with, they make deals with our president, or whoever, and then they don't adhere to the deals, you know that. And it's much less expensive for their companies to produce products. So I'm going to be studying that very hard, and I think I have a very big voice in it. And I think my voice is listened to, especially by people that don't believe in it. And we'll let you know. * As far as the, you know, potential conflict of interests, though, I mean I know that from the standpoint, the law is totally on my side, meaning, the president can't have a conflict of interest. That's been reported very widely. Despite that, I don't want there to be a conflict of interest anyway. And the laws, the president can't. And I understand why the president can't have a conflict of interest now because everything a president does in some ways is like a conflict of interest. * I don't care about my company. ... Because it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters to me is running our country. * It's hard to explain. I don't care about anything having to do with anything having to do with anything other than the country. * In theory I could run my business perfectly, and then run the country perfectly. And there's never been a case like this where somebody's had, like, if you look at other people of wealth, they didn't have this kind of asset and this kind of wealth, frankly. It's just a different thing. * I've known [[Steve Bannon]] a long time. If I thought he was a [[Racism in the United States|racist]], or [[alt-right]], or any of the things that we can, you know, the terms we can use, I wouldn't even think about hiring him. First of all, I'm the one that makes the decision, not Steve Bannon or anybody else. * To me more important is taking care of the people that really have proven to be, to love Donald Trump, as opposed to the political people. And frankly if the political people don't take care of these people, they're not going to win and you're going to end up with maybe a total different kind of government than what you're looking at right now. These people are really angry. They're smart, they're workers, and they're angry. I call them the forgotten men and women. And I use that in speeches, I say they're the forgotten people — they were totally forgotten. * I would love to be able to be the one that made peace with Israel and the Palestinians. I would love that, that would be such a great achievement. Because nobody's been able to do it. ... I've had a lot of, actually, great Israeli businesspeople tell me, you can't do that, it's impossible. I disagree, I think you can make peace. I think people are tired now of being shot, killed. At some point, when do they come? I think we can do that. I have reason to believe I can do that. * [[The Times]] is, it's a great, great American jewel. A world jewel. ====December 2016==== * There is no global anthem, no global [[currency]], no certificate of global [[citizenship]], we pledge allegiance to one flag and that flag is the [[Flag of the United States|American Flag]]! ** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBqIUF-cdgY#t=15m38s Thank You Tour - Cincinnati, Ohio] (1 December 2016) * Funny how that term caught on, isn't it? I tell everyone, I hated it. Somebody said 'drain the swamp' and I said, 'Oh, that is so hokey. That is so terrible.' I said, all right, I'll try it. So like a month ago I said 'drain the swamp' and the place went crazy. And I said 'Whoa, what's this?' Then I said it again. And then I start saying it like I meant it, right? And then I started to love it, and the place loved it. Drain the swamp. It's true. It's true. Drain the swamp. ** [http://www.cnbc.com/2016/12/21/trump-adviser-says-he-is-ditching-drain-the-swamp.html During a rally in Des Moines, Iowa] (December 2016) * We will pursue a new foreign policy that finally learns from the mistakes of the past. We will stop looking to topple regimes and overthrow governments. ... Our goal is stability, not chaos, because we want to rebuild our country. It's time. ** Speaking at U.S. Bank Arena, quoted in {{citation |date=2016-12-01 |title=Trump's new foreign policy: 'We will stop looking to topple regimes' |author=Anna Giaritelli |periodical={{w|Washington Examiner}} |url=http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/trumps-new-foreign-policy-we-will-stop-looking-to-topple-regimes/article/2608687}} ===2017=== {| style="float:center; background:none;border: 1px solid silver;{{Border-radius|35px}}; margin:15px; background-color:#F6F6F6;color:var(--color-base-fixed,#202122);" |- |<div id="articlecount" style="width:100%; text-align:center; font-size:105%;"> 20 January 2017 [[File:Seal of the President of the United States.svg|20px]] - Donald Trump's presidency began</div> |- |} {{main|First presidency of Donald Trump}} * '''Reporter:''' Would a reasonable observer say that you are potentially vulnerable to blackmail by Russia or by its [[Espionage|intelligence]] agencies?<br>'''Trump:''' Lemme just tell you what I do. When I leave our country, I'm a very high-profile person, would you say? I am extremely careful. I'm surrounded by bodyguards. I'm surrounded by people. And I always tell them—anywhere, but I always tell them if I'm leaving this country, "Be very careful, because in your hotel rooms and no matter where you go, you're gonna probably have cameras." I'm not referring just to Russia, but I would certainly put them in that category. And number one, "I hope you're gonna be good anyway. But in those rooms, you have cameras in the strangest places. Cameras that are so small with modern technology, you can't see them and you won't know. You better be careful, or you'll be watching yourself on nightly television." I tell this to people all the time. I was in Russia years ago, with the Miss Universe contest, which did very well—Moscow, the Moscow area did very, very well. And I told many people, "Be careful, because you don't wanna see yourself on television. Cameras all over the place."<br>And again, not just Russia, all over. Does anyone really believe that story? I'm also very much of a germaphobe, by the way, believe me. ** [https://www.nytimes.com/2017/01/11/us/politics/trump-press-conference-transcript.html, Donald Trump Press Conference at Trump Tower] (11 January 2017) * People don't realize, you know, the [[American Civil War|Civil War]], if you think about it, why? ** [http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/trump-why-couldn-t-civil-war-have-been-avoided-n753241 Trump: Why Couldn't the Civil War Have Been Avoided?] (May 1, 2017) ===2019=== * ''Q:'' Does the buck stop with you over this shutdown?<br />''Trump:'' The buck stops with everybody. **[https://theweek.com/speedreads/816895/president-trump-buck-stops-everybody January 10, 2019] * I just feel like a young man. I’m so young. I can’t believe it. I’m the youngest person. I am a young, vibrant man. I look at Joe — I don’t know about him. I don’t know. I would never say anyone is too old, but I know they’re all making me look very young, both in terms of age and I think in terms of energy. I think you people know that better than anybody. **[https://trumpwhitehouse.archives.gov/briefings-statements/remarks-president-trump-marine-one-departure-40/ April 26, 2019] *The Jews always flip. **attested to by Michael Wolff [https://forward.com/fast-forward/425037/trump-jews-always-flip-michael-wolff-michael-cohen-david-pecker/ 28 May 2019] * Our army manned the air, it rammed the ramparts, it took over the airports, it did everything it had to do. ** Trump was describing battles in 1775, as quoted in [https://www.bbc.com/news/48885319 Trump blames 'airports' gaffe on teleprompter] *The kidney has a very special place in the heart. **[https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/video/2019/jul/11/the-kidney-has-a-very-special-place-in-the-heart-says-donald-trump-video 11 July 2019] ===2020=== ====January 2020==== * <!--[00:00](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxEwTFJG1DQ&t=0s): Tesla's now worth more than GM and Ford; do you have comments on Elon Musk? --><!-- [00:04](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxEwTFJG1DQ&t=4s):--> Well, you have to give [[Elon Musk|him]] credit. I spoke to him very recently, and he's also doing the rockets, he likes rockets, and he does good at rockets too, by the way. I never saw… where [[w:Falcon 9 first-stage booster|the engines]] come down with no wings, no anything, [[w:Falcon 9 first-stage landings|and they're landing]]. I've said I've never seen that before. <!--[00:19](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxEwTFJG1DQ&t=19s):--> And I was worried about him, because he's one of our great geniuses, and we have to protect our genius. We have to protect [[Thomas Edison]], we have to protect all of these people that came up originally with the [[w:light bulb|light bulb]], and the [[w:wheel|wheel]], and all of these things. And he's one of our very smart people, and we want to cherish those people, that's very important. But he's done a very good job. <!--[00:41](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxEwTFJG1DQ&t=41s):--> Shocking, how well, …how it's come so fast. You go back a year, and they were talking about the end of [[w:Tesla, Inc.|the company]] and all of a sudden they're talking about these great things. He's going to be building [[w:Gigafactory|a very big plant]] in the United States. He has to. Because we help him, so he has to help us. ** on [[Elon Musk]], [[Tesla]], and [[SpaceX]] after Tesla stock valuation beat [[w:General Motors|General Motors]] and [[w:Ford Motor Company|Ford]] combined ** {{citation|url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxEwTFJG1DQ|title=Trump on Elon Musk: I was worried about him, because he's one of our great geniuses|interviewer=[[w:Joe Kernen|Joe Kernen]]|date=2020-01-22|work=CNBC Television|via=Youtube|location=[[w:World Economic Forum|World Economic Forum]], [[w:Davos|Davos]], Switzerland}} ====February 2020==== * There are a lot of dishonest slimeballs out there. Dishonest scum. Dirty cops, lot of dirty cops … the ones on top, they were absolute scum. ** Trump described former senior law enforcement officials who were involved in the FBI probes into his campaign, as quoted in {{citation|date=2020-02-20|title=Trump repeatedly struggles to pronounce words during conspiracy-laden rally, before suggesting he'll pardon Roger Stone in late-night tweet |author=Tom Embury-Dennis |periodical=Independent |url=https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-rally-twitter-roger-stone-sentence-pardon-2020-election-rally-phoenix-arizona-a9345956.html}} * Can we get like ''[[Gone with the Wind (film)|Gone with the Wind]]'' back, please? ''[[Sunset Boulevard]]'', so many great movies. ** [https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/magazines/panache/trump-slams-oscar-winning-south-korean-film-parasite-praises-gone-with-the-wind/videoshow/74251536.cms] ** [https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/magazines/panache/trump-slams-oscar-winning-south-korean-film-parasite-praises-gone-with-the-wind/videoshow/74251536.cms Trump slams Oscar-winning South Korean film 'Parasite', praises 'Gone with the Wind']video posted February 22, 2020 ====March 2020==== :See also: ::'''''[[COVID-19 pandemic in the United States]]''''' * I know South Korea better than anybody, it's a very tight — do you know how many people are in Seoul? Do you know how big the city of Seoul is? 38 million people. That's bigger than anything we have. ** Trump talking about Seoul, which is a city with 10 million people according to the city government's English language website. As quoted by {{citation |date=2020-03-30 |title=Trump tried to flex by asking a reporter about the population of Seoul. Then he got it wrong by 28 million. |author=Jake Lahut |periodical=Business Insider |url=https://www.businessinsider.com/coronavirus-trump-got-the-population-of-seoul-wrong-by-millions-2020-3?r=US&IR=T}} ====April 2020==== * It's called "[[social media]]." It's social media. It gets out. I have, you know, hundreds of millions of people. Number one on [[Facebook]]. Did you know I was number one on Facebook? I mean, I just found out I'm number one on Facebook. I thought that was very nice for whatever it means. No, it represents something. And when I can explain to people: Just don't do it. You know, it's going to be bad if you do it. It's going to be really bad. And they don't need to do it. They have enough problems. [[Iran]] has enough problems without doing that. But we’ve been pulling back very substantially over the last year, in [[Iraq]]. And so, you know, that's the way it is. ** Coronavirus task force press briefing, {{#formatdate:2020-04-01}}, quoted in {{citation |date=2020-04-01 |title=Remarks by President Trump, Vice President Pence, and Members of the Coronavirus Task Force in Press Briefing |author=James S. Brady |periodical=White House |url=https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefings-statements/remarks-president-trump-vice-president-pence-members-coronavirus-task-force-press-briefing-16/}}. ** Note: At April 1, [https://web.archive.org/web/20200401020635if_/https://www.facebook.com/DonaldTrump/ Trump's official page], with 26.8 million likes and 28.5 million followers, was not among the [[w:List of most-followed Facebook pages|most-followed Facebook pages]]. At January 6, speaking on [[Rush Limbaugh]]'s radio show Trump stated that [[Mark Zuckerberg]] told him that he was "number one on Facebook", claim that was not refuted by Facebook as reported in ''[https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/entry/trump-mark-zuckerberg-facebook_n_5e12e125e4b0843d3615393f Trump Claims Mark Zuckerberg Told Him He's 'Number One On Facebook']'' (January 8, 2020) by Josephine Harvey, ''{{w|HuffPost Australia}}'' ====May 2020==== *I have not touched my face in a week. **[https://www.huffpost.com/entry/trump-face-touching-video-proof_n_5e601ac1c5b6985ec91abce1] ====August 2020==== * I read a lot. I comprehend extraordinarily well. Probably better than anybody you’ve interviewed in a long time, ** As quoted by {{citation | author=Aaron Rupar | date=2020-08-03 |title=“They are dying. That’s true. It is what it is.” Trump’s Axios interview was a disaster. | periodical=VOX | url=https://www.vox.com/2020/8/4/21354055/trump-axios-interview-jonathan-swan}} * I don't know. I really don't know. I don't know. I don't know John Lewis. He chose not to come to my inauguration. He chose -- I don't -- I never met John Lewis actually, I don't believe. ** Trump was responding to how civil rights icon John Lewis will be remembered, as quoted by {{citation | author=Tyler Olson | date=2020-08-03 |title=Trump withholds praise for John Lewis, notes he 'didn't come to my inauguration'| periodical=Fox News| url=https://www.foxnews.com/politics/trump-john-lewis-inauguration}} * Yeah, I wish her well. * But I wish her well. * I do wish her well. ** Said about [[Ghislaine Maxwell]], quoted in [https://www.politico.com/news/2020/08/04/trump-well-wishes-ghislaine-maxwell-391274 "Trump doubles down on well-wishes for alleged sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell"] ''Politico'' (August 4, 2020) * So showerheads — you take a shower, the water doesn’t come out. You want to wash your hands, the water doesn’t come out. So what do you do? You just stand there longer or you take a shower longer? Because my hair — I don’t know about you, but it has to be perfect. Perfect. ** Quoted by {{citation | author=Debbie White, Jon Rogers, Fionnuala O'Leary | date=2020-08-12 |title=US proposes change to shower rules after President’s hair-washing complaint | periodical=The SUN | url=https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/12369436/donald-trump-latest-news-live-updates/}} * Don't buy GOODYEAR TIRES - They announced a BAN ON MAGA HATS. Get better tires for far less! (This is what the Radical Left Democrats do. Two can play the same game, and we have to start playing it now!) ** Quoted by {{citation | author=Betsy Klein | date=2020-08-19 |title=Trump 'cancels' Goodyear tires as he campaigns against 'cancel culture' | periodical=CNN | url=https://edition.cnn.com/2020/08/19/politics/trump-goodyear-cancel-culture/index.html}} * I don't know much about the movement other than I understand they like me very much, which I appreciate ** Said about the [[QAnon]] group, as quoted by {{citation | author=Kevin Liptak | date=2020-08-20 |title=Trump embraces QAnon conspiracy because 'they like me' | periodical=CNN | url=https://edition.cnn.com/2020/08/19/politics/donald-trump-qanon/index.html}} * If Jesus came down and was the vote counter, I would win California. ** [https://www.foxla.com/news/trump-tells-dr-phil-he-would-have-won-california-2020-jesus-was-counting-votes "Trump tells Dr. Phil he would have won California in 2020 if Jesus 'was the vote counter'"] ''Fox 11 Los Angeles'' (August 30, 2024) ====September 2020==== * CNN reported that I had a heart attack. ** Claimed as quoted by {{citation |date=2020-09-03 |title=Even Fox News is choosing not to cover Trump's rallies in full, but his falsehoods are still eye-popping |author=Brian Stelter | periodical=CNN |url=https://edition.cnn.com/2020/09/04/media/donald-trump-pennsylvania-reliable-sources/index.html}} * I don't think [[science]] knows, actually. * It'll start getting cooler. You just watch. ** Trump described his stance on [[Scientific consensus on climate change|climate science]] and [[global warming]], as quoted in {{citation | date=2020-09-14 | title=Trump baselessly questions climate science during California wildfire briefing | author= Maegan Vazquez | periodical=CNN | url=https://edition.cnn.com/2020/09/14/politics/donald-trump-wildfires-briefing-climate-change/index.html}} * Critical race theory, the 1619 Project, and the crusade against American history is toxic propaganda, ideological poison that, if not removed, will dissolve the civic bonds that tie us together. It will destroy our country. ** [https://trumpwhitehouse.archives.gov/briefings-statements/remarks-president-trump-white-house-conference-american-history/ Remarks by President Trump at the White House Conference on American History] (17 September 2020) *She just died? Wow. I didn't know that. You are telling me now for the first time. She led an amazing life. What else can you say? Whether you agreed or not, she was an amazing woman who led an amazing life. I am actually sad to hear that. **[https://deadline.com/2020/09/donald-trump-ruth-bader-ginsburg-1234579988/ On the death of Ruth Bader Ginsburg] (18 September 2020) * Can you believe it, in one week they nominated me, not for one, but for two Nobel prizes. But you know, you have a president, you love your president, and your president gets honored, because I’m not being honored, you’re being honored with the Nobel Peace Prize, for Israel, what we did with Israel. ** Quoted in {{citation | date=2020-09-19 | title=Trump’s Nobel Nonsense | author= Robert Farley | periodical=FactCheck.org| url=https://www.factcheck.org/2020/09/trumps-nobel-nonsense/}} * I’m the only man that got nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize and I didn’t get any press. They wouldn’t. For two of them. Last week, I’m not bragging about it. ** Quoted in {{citation | date=2020-09-21 | title=Trump’s Nobel Nonsense | author= Robert Farley | periodical=FactCheck.org| url=https://www.factcheck.org/2020/09/trumps-nobel-nonsense/}} * The stated goal of BLM people is to achieve the destruction of the nuclear family, abolish the police, abolish prisons, abolish border security, abolish [[capitalism]] and abolish school choice. ** Claimed about the Black Lives Matter movement, as quoted in {{citation | date=2020-09-25 | title=Donald Trump launches blistering attack on the Black Lives Matter movement | author= Graeme Massie | periodical=Independent.co.uk | url=https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/donald-trump-rally-today-blm-black-lives-matter-b604727.html}} * Totally fake news ** [https://www.politico.com/news/2020/09/27/trump-calls-nyt-tax-report-totally-fake-news-422330Trump responding] to the NYT report on the alleged tax avoidance by Donald Trump * [[Steve Jobs]] would not be happy that his wife is wasting money he left her on a failing Radical Left Magazine that is run by a con man (Goldberg) and spews FAKE NEWS & HATE. Call her, write her, let her know how you feel!!! ** [[Trump]] in [https://www.cnn.com/2020/09/06/business/donald-trump-laurene-powell-jobs/?iid=ob_lockedrail_longstory_pool Trump attacks the sixth-richest woman in the world for her ties to] [[w:The Atlantic|The Atlantic]] on September 6, 2020 ====October 2020==== * I think this was a blessing from God that I caught it. It was a blessing in disguise. ** Quoted by {{citation |date=2020-10-08 |title=Trump returns to Oval Office and says coronavirus diagnosis was 'blessing from God' | author=Kevin Liptak | periodical=CNN | url=https://edition.cnn.com/2020/10/07/politics/trump-oval-office-coronavirus/index.html}} * I'll walk into that audience. I'll walk in there, I'll kiss everyone in that audience. I'll kiss the guys and the beautiful women and the -- everybody. I'll just give everybody a big, fat kiss. ** Quoted by {{citation |date=2020-10-12 |title=Trump mocks virus as he launches potential superspreader sprint to win reelection | author=Stephen Collinson | periodical=CNN | url=https://edition.cnn.com/2020/10/13/politics/donald-trump-election-2020-campaign/index.html}} * They say he was born in Scranton, but he left, he left. He abandoned you. ** Trump referred back to when [[Joe Biden]] was 10 years old and the family moved from Pennsylvania to Delaware because his father started in a new job, as quoted by {{citation |date=2020-10-14 |title=Fact check: Trump continues dishonesty bombardment at Pennsylvania rally | author=Daniel Dale | periodical=CNN | url=https://edition.cnn.com/2020/10/14/politics/fact-check-trump-rally-johnstown-pennsylvania/index.html}} * That was an opinion of somebody and that was a retweet. I’ll put it out there. People can decide for themselves. ** Trump explained why he retweeted a claim that Osama bin Laden’s killing was staged and that members of Navy SEAL Team 6 had been killed to cover it up. Quoted by {{citation |date=2020-10-16 |title=Column: Trump and Biden town halls showed us two worlds, and only one of them is terrifying | author=Rex Huppke | periodical=Chicago Tribune| url=https://www.chicagotribune.com/columns/rex-huppke/ct-trump-biden-town-hall-qanon-rogers-calm-election-polls-huppke-20201016-3oke7rhwhbdrfcshgbnpqmimbe-story.html}} * Would you like a nice low-income housing project next to your suburban beautiful ranch style house? Generally speaking, no. I saved your suburbs -- <b>women -- suburban women, you're supposed to love Trump.</b> ** Quoted by {{citation |date=2020-10-17 |title=Trump continues bizarre appeals to suburban women as he campaigns in Covid hotspots | author=Maeve Reston| periodical=CNN| url=https://edition.cnn.com/2020/10/18/politics/donald-trump-women-gretchen-whitmer/index.html}} ===2021=== {| style="float:center; background:none;border: 1px solid silver;{{Border-radius|35px}}; margin:15px; background-color:#F6F6F6;color:var(--color-base-fixed,#202122);" |- |<div id="articlecount" style="width:100%; text-align:center; font-size:105%;"> 20 January 2021 [[File:Seal of the President of the United States.svg|20px]] - End of presidency </div> |- |} ====February 2021==== * The [[Republican Party (United States)|Republican Party]] can never again be respected or strong with political “leaders” like Sen. [[Mitch McConnell]] at its helm. McConnell’s dedication to business as usual, status quo policies, together with his lack of political insight, wisdom, skill, and personality, has rapidly driven him from Majority Leader to Minority Leader, and it will only get worse. The Democrats and [[Chuck Schumer]] play McConnell like a fiddle—they’ve never had it so good—and they want to keep it that way! We know our America First agenda is a winner, not McConnell’s Beltway First agenda or Biden’s America Last. * It was a complete election disaster in Georgia, and certain other swing states. McConnell did nothing, and will never do what needs to be done in order to secure a fair and just electoral system into the future. He doesn’t have what it takes, never did, and never will. * Mitch is a dour, sullen, and unsmiling political hack, and if Republican Senators are going to stay with him, they will not win again. He will never do what needs to be done, or what is right for our Country. ** [https://www.politico.com/f/?id=00000177-ad2a-d713-a777-edee3b100000 Statement by Donald J. Trump, February 16, 2021] ====March 2021==== * Do you miss me yet? Do you miss me? * Mr. McLaughlin just gave me numbers that nobody's ever heard of before, more popular than anybody. That's all of us. It's all of us. * We won the election twice. I mean, you know, think about it ... * But who knows? Who knows? I may even decide to beat them for a third time, OK? For a third time. * This election was rigged. And the Supreme Court and other courts didn't want to do anything about it. * And the only people that should be allowed to vote by mail are people that can be proven to be either very sick or out of the country or military where they can't do it. One day. * And then a Republican president will make a triumphant return to the White House. And I wonder who that will be. I wonder who that will be. Who, who, who will that be, I wonder? ** Quoted by {{citation |date=2021-03-01 | author = Chris Cillizza | title = The 50 most ridiculous lines from Donald Trump's CPAC speech | url=https://edition.cnn.com/2021/03/01/politics/donald-trump-cpac-speech/index.html |publisher=CNN}} * Karl Rove has been losing for years, except for himself. * He's a RINO of the highest order, who came to the Oval Office lobbying for 5G for him and a group. * He's a pompous fool with bad advice and always has an agenda. * If the Republican Party is going to be successful, they're going to have to stop dealing with the likes of Karl Rove and just let him float away, or retire, like Liddle' Bob Corker, Jeff 'Flakey' Flake, and others like Toomey of Pennsylvania, who will soon follow. * 31 million people listened to my CPAC speech online, and it had among the largest television audience of the week, even though it was on cable at 4pm on Sunday afternoon. ** Quoted by {{citation |date=2021-03-05 | author = Chris Cillizza | title = The 17 most outlandish lines from Donald Trump's attack on Karl Rove | url=https://edition.cnn.com/2021/03/05/politics/donald-trump-karl-rove-2020-election/index.html |publisher=CNN}} * I will not be endorsing, under any circumstances, the failed candidate from the great State of Alaska, [[w:Lisa Murkowski|Lisa Murkowski]]. She represents her state badly and her country even worse. I do not know where other people will be next year, but I know where I will be — in Alaska campaigning against a disloyal and very bad Senator. ** Quoted by {{citation |date=2021-03-06 | author = Alex Isenstadt | title = Trump vows to campaign against 'disloyal' Murkowski | url=https://www.politico.com/news/2021/03/06/trump-lisa-murkowski-2022-474028 |publisher=Politico}} * No more money for RINOS. They do nothing but hurt the Republican Party and our great voting base--they will never lead us to Greatness. Send your donation to Save America PAC at DonaldJTrump.com. ** Quoted by {{citation |date=2021-03-10 | author = Michael Warren, Fredreka Schouten, Eric Bradner | title = Trump's clash with GOP over using his name in fundraising ignites midterm worries | url=https://edition.cnn.com/2021/03/10/politics/trump-republican-fundraising-midterms/index.html |publisher=CNN}} * I would recommend it, and I would recommend it to a lot of people that don't want to get it and a lot of those people voted for me, frankly. But again, we have our freedoms and we have to live by that and I agree with that also. But it is a great vaccine. It is a safe vaccine and it is something that works. ** On the COVID-19 vaccine. Quoted by {{citation|date=2021-3-16|author=Meredith McGraw|title=Trump encourages Americans to get the Covid vaccine|publisher=Politico|url=https://www.politico.com/news/2021/03/16/trump-americans-covid-vaccine-476479}} * <i> About the {{w|2021 storming of the United States Capitol}}:</i> It was zero threat, right from the start, it was zero threat. Look, they went in, they shouldn't have done it. Some of them went in, and they are hugging and kissing the police and the guards, you know, they had great relationships. A lot of the people were waved in, and then they walked in and they walked out. ** Quoted by {{citation |date=2021-03-26 | author = Veronica Stracqualursi | title = Trump lies about Capitol riot by claiming his supporters were 'hugging and kissing' cops | url=https://edition.cnn.com/2021/03/26/politics/donald-trump-january-6-rioters-arrests/index.html |publisher=CNN}} * And China, the same thing, they never treated us that way, right? You saw what happened a few days ago, was terrible, and uh, the border is not good, the border is the worst anybody’s ever seen it, and what you see now, multiply it times 10, Jim — he’s the only one I know who would handle the border tougher than me. We have to, and the tough is…in the most humanitarian way, because that’s what it is. What’s happening to the kids, they’re living in squalor, they are living like nobody has ever seen anybody, there’s never been anything like what’s, and you’re gonna have hundreds, and you have it now, they have the airplane photos, the shocks, and they call ’em shocks, and these things are showing thousands and thousands of people coming up from South America and it’s gonna be, it’s just uh, look, it’s a disaster. It’s a humanitarian disaster from their standpoint, and it’s gonna destroy the country, and frankly, the country can’t afford it because you’re talking about massive, just incredibly massive amounts. Our school systems, our hospital systems, everything. ** Wedding toast, quoted by {{citation |date=2021-03-29 | author = Bess Levin | title = Of course Donald Trump crashed a wedding a gave a rambling, incoherent speech about Biden, Iran and China | url=https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2021/03/donald-trump-mar-a-lago-wedding-speech |publisher=Vanity Fair}} * Based on their interviews, I felt it was time to speak up about [[Anthony Fauci|Dr. Fauci]] and Dr. Birx, two self-promoters trying to reinvent history to cover for their bad instincts and faulty recommendations, which I fortunately almost always overturned. They had bad policy decisions that would have left our country open to China and others, closed to reopening our economy, and years away from an approved vaccine — putting millions of lives at risk * Dr. Birx was a terrible medical advisor, which is why I seldom followed her advice. * I only kept Dr. Fauci and Dr. Birx on because they worked for the U.S. government for so long — they are like a bad habit! ** Quoted by {{citation |date=2021-03-29 | author = Benjamin Din | title = Trump lashes out at Fauci and Birx after CNN documentary | url=https://www.politico.com/news/2021/03/29/trump-fauci-birx-cnn-documentary-478422 |publisher=Politico}} * Dr. Birx is a proven liar with very little credibility left. ** Quoted by {{citation |date=2021-03-29 | author = Brett Samuels | title = Trump targets Fauci, Birx in lengthy diatribe | url=https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/545472-trump-targets-fauci-birx-in-lengthy-diatribe |publisher=The Hill}} ====April 2021==== * Happy Easter to ALL, including the Radical Left CRAZIES who rigged our Presidential Election, and want to destroy our Country! ** Quoted by {{citation |date=2021-04-05 | author = Martin Pengelly | title = Who needs Twitter? Trump wishes happy Easter to 'radical left crazies' | url=https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/apr/04/trump-wishes-happy-easter-to-radical-left-crazies |publisher=The Guardian}} * I'll give you a little breaking news, [[w:Pfizer|Pfizer]] is in with the FDA. What the FDA did with [[w:Johnson & Johnson|Johnson and Johnson]] is so stupid ** [https://web.archive.org/web/20210627112356/https://www.pharmamanufacturing.com/industrynews/2021/trump-blasts-fda-for-j-and-j-vax-pause-says-pfizer-in-with-the-agency/ TV interview with Sean Hannity] * Getting out of Afghanistan is a wonderful and positive thing to do. I planned to withdraw on May 1st, and we should keep as close to that schedule as possible. ** [https://www.businessinsider.com/trump-biden-afghanistan-pullout-wonderful-and-positive-thing-to-do-2021-4?r=US&IR=T "Trump says Biden's plan to withdraw US troops from Afghanistan is a 'wonderful and positive thing to do'"], Business Insider, 19 April 2021 ====May 2021==== *If a thief robs a jewelry store of all of its diamonds (the 2020 Presidential Election), the diamonds must be returned. **[https://www.donaldjtrump.com/news/statement-by-donald-j-trump-45th-president-of-the-united-states-of-america-05.10.21-4 10 May 2021] *The entire Database of [[Maricopa County]] in Arizona has been DELETED! This is illegal and the Arizona State Senate, who is leading the Forensic Audit, is up in arms. Additionally, seals were broken on the boxes that hold the votes, ballots are missing, and worse. Mark Brnovich, the Attorney General of Arizona, will now be forced to look into this unbelievable Election crime. **[https://www.donaldjtrump.com/desk/desk-4yeh37peju/ 15 May 2021] ====June 2021==== *Congratulations to the country of [[Nigeria]], who just banned [[Twitter]] because they banned [[Muhammadu Buhari|their President]]. More COUNTRIES should ban Twitter and Facebook for not allowing free and open speech — all voices should be heard. [[Mark Zuckerberg|Zuckerberg]] kept calling me and coming to the White House for dinner telling me how great I was. ** [https://www.businessinsider.com/trump-more-countries-should-ban-twitter-facebook-zuckerberg-2021-6] *They may allow me back in two years. We got to stop that. We can’t let it happen. So unfair. They are shutting down an entire group of people. Not just me. They are shutting down the voice of a much more powerful and a much larger group. ** about Facebook banning him, in rally speech [https://deadline.com/2021/06/donald-trump-facebook-mark-zuckerberg-1234770087/] ====July 2021==== *The American people’s birthright of freedom must prevail against [[Big Tech]] and other forces that seek to destroy it. **7 July 2021 [https://www.politico.com/news/2021/07/07/trump-big-tech-lawsuit-498536 Politico, Trump plans class action suit against Twitter, Facebook] *Many say I am the greatest star-maker of all time. But some of the stars I produced are actually made of garbage. **[https://web.archive.org/web/20210715183933/https://www.donaldjtrump.com/news/statement-by-donald-j-trump-45th-president-of-the-united-states-of-america-07.15.21-06 15 July 2021 on DonaldJTrump.com] ====August 2021==== *There is massive and unconditional evidence that the election was shattered with fraud and irregularities at a level that our Country has never seen before. Much of it is already public, and a great deal more is coming out in the very near future. Every time you read a statement that there is “no evidence of election fraud,” about the 2020 election scam, just attribute that statement to a crooked and collusive media (they work closely together with the Radical Left Democrats) that will do anything to hide the real facts of this election fiasco. **[https://www.donaldjtrump.com/news/news-qvb8wmvsyn0 1 August 2021] *If I were President right now, with COVID raging back, people being shot and killed in record numbers all over our cities, and the Border totally open with criminals and heavily infected COVID people pouring through our Southern Border and into our communities, the Fake News Media would be having an absolute field day. **[https://www.donaldjtrump.com/news/news-kyatp4nd8q0 2 August 2021] * If our soccer team, headed by a radical group of Leftist Maniacs, wasn’t woke, they would have won the Gold Medal instead of the Bronze. * Woke means you lose, everything that is woke goes bad, and our soccer team certainly has. * They should replace the wokesters with Patriots and start winning again. The woman with the purple hair played terribly and spends too much time thinking about Radical Left politics and not doing her job! ** Said about the US women's national soccer team after winning a bronze medal in the Olympic Games in Tokyo, as quoted in [https://amp.theguardian.com/football/2021/aug/05/donald-trump-uswnt-usa-soccer-olympics-bronze-megan-rapinoe-tokyo-2020 "‘Woke means you lose’: Donald Trump rails at USWNT after Olympic bronze"], The Guardian, 5 August 2021 * I have quietly said for years that Mitch McConnell is the most overrated man in politics— now I don't have to be quiet anymore. ** Quoted in [https://www.newsweek.com/trump-calls-mitch-mcconnell-most-overrated-man-politics-ahead-infrastructure-vote-1617944 "Trump Calls Mitch McConnell 'Most Overrated Man in Politics' Ahead of Infrastructure Vote"], Newsweek, 10 August 2021 * I recommend: take the vaccines. I did it. It’s good. Take the vaccines. ** [https://www.cnbc.com/2021/08/22/trump-booed-at-alabama-rally-after-telling-supporters-to-get-vaccinated.html "Trump booed at Alabama rally after telling supporters to get vaccinated"], CNBC, 22 August 2021 ====September 2021==== * If they let you do your job you wouldn’t have crime in New York! * I’ve been given so much support by the people who do what you do. * We love the blue. I’ll say it loud. You know, you’re not supposed to say that. We love the blue. **[https://nypost.com/2021/09/11/trump-makes-surprise-visit-to-new-york-police-and-firefighters/ Trump makes surprise visit to New York police and firefighters on 9/11] * We’re not going to have a country left in three years, I’ll tell you that. ** [https://www.yahoo.com/news/donald-trump-predicts-america-end-002940784.html "Donald Trump Predicts America Will End Within 3 Years"], quoted by David Moye, Yahoo News, 15 September 2021 * [[w:Anthony Gonzalez (politician)|1]] down, 9 to go! ** "[https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2021/sep/17/trump-celebrates-gonzalezs-exit-1-down-9-go/ Trump celebrates Gonzalez’s exit: ‘1 down, 9 to go!’]" (September 17, 2021) * Everybody will be watching [[Arizona]] tomorrow to see what the highly respected auditors and Arizona State Senate found out regarding the so-called Election! ** "[https://www.politico.com/news/2021/09/24/arizona-review-draft-report-tally-biden-won-514088 GOP-led Arizona election review closely matches Biden's winning margin]" (September 23, 2021) ====October 2021==== * Nobody has done more for [[Christianity]] or for [[evangelicals]] — or for [[religion]] itself — than I have. ** Quoted in [https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-claims-nobody-has-done-more-religion-itself-him-1635036 "Donald Trump Claims Nobody Has Done More 'for Religion Itself' Than Him"], Newsweek, 2 October 2021 * the real insurrection happened on November 3rd, the Presidential Election, not on [[January 6th]]—which was a day of protesting the Fake Election results ** [https://www.npr.org/2021/10/06/1043746455/trump-continues-to-lie-says-real-insurrection-happened-when-he-lost-election Trump continues to lie, says 'real insurrection' happened when he lost election]" (October 6, 2021) * [[Republican]] [[Senators]], do not [[vote]] for this terrible deal ([[debt]] limit) being pushed by folding [[Mitch McConnell]]. Stand strong for our Country.  * The [[American]] people are with you! ** In an emailed statement "[https://thehill.com/homenews/senate/575876-trump-urged-gop-senators-to-vote-against-mcconnell-debt-deal Trump urges GOP senators to vote against McConnell debt deal]" (October 7,2021) * If we don't solve the Presidential Election Fraud of 2020 (which we have thoroughly and conclusively documented), Republicans will not be voting in '22 or '24. It is the single most important thing for Republicans to do. ** According to an MSNBC article and a short video "[https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/democrats-finally-have-reason-celebrate-one-trump-s-threats-n1281494 Democrats finally have reason to celebrate one of Trump's threats]" (October 13, 2021) * It’s so sad when you see that they are approving these windmills — worst form of energy, the most expensive. You talk about carbon emissions, well they are making them. More goes into the air than if you ran something for 30 years. * I’m not into golden showers. ** [https://news.yahoo.com/trump-touts-putin-relationship-rails-233840649.html "Trump Touts Putin Relationship, Rails About Wind Energy's 'Carbon Emissions' In Speech"], Yahoo News (October 16 2021) *I wanted to have people be ready because we were put on alert that they were going to do fruit. And some fruit is a lot worse than — tomatoes are bad by the way. **[https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/21748396-trumpdepositionexcerptsefraingalicia42622/ Deposition], October 18, 2021 * After years of litigation, I was pleased to have had the opportunity to tell my side of this ridiculous story — Just one more example of baseless harassment of your favorite president ** "[https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/trump-faces-pile-civil-lawsuits-depositions-begin-n1281612 Trump faces a pile of civil lawsuits as depositions begin]" (October 18, 2021) * Wonderful to see [[Colin Powell]], who made big mistakes on Iraq and famously, so-called weapons of mass destruction, be treated in death so beautifully by the Fake News Media. Hope that happens to me someday. He was a classic RINO, if even that, always being the first to attack other Republicans. He made plenty of mistakes, but anyway, may he rest in peace! ** {{cite news|author=Chris Cillizza |url=https://www.cnn.com/2021/10/19/politics/donald-trump-colin-powell-death/index.html |title=Donald Trump (yet again) proves there's no bottom |work=cnn.com|date=October 19, 2021 |accessdate=October 19, 2021}} *We live in a world where the Taliban has a huge presence on Twitter, yet your favorite American president has been silenced **"[https://www.cnbc.com/2021/10/20/trump-announces-social-media-platform-launch-plan-spac-deal.html Trump announces social media platform launch plan, SPAC deal]" (October 20, 2021) *[[Israel]] doesn’t even control [[Congress]] anymore. **29 October 2021 per https://thepostmillennial.com/exclusive-president-donald-j-trump-speaks-to-the-post-millennial ====November 2021==== *RINOs who supported infrastructure bill should be ashamed of themselves **on Sky News Australia [[Youtube]] channel '''[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZG-D0e8T0A video]''' (November 7, 2021) ====December 2021==== *He was very early. Like earlier than most. I haven’t spoken to him since. Fuck him, **10 December 2021 interview with Barak Ravid about [[Benjamin Netanyahu]] per [https://www.timesofisrael.com/fck-him-in-interview-trump-rages-at-netanyahu-over-congratulations-to-biden/ Times of Israel] * I thought the [[Palestinians]] were impossible, and the [[Israelis]] would do anything to make peace and a deal. I found that not to be true. ** [[Donald Trump]], [https://www.timesofisrael.com/trump-i-thought-israelis-would-do-anything-for-peace-but-found-that-not-to-be-true/ Trump: I thought Israelis would do anything for peace, but found that not to be true], ''Times of Israel'' (11 December 2021) *Bibi did not want to make a deal. Even most recently, when we came up with the maps. Now I don’t know if he didn’t want to make it for political reasons, or for other reasons. I wish he would have said he didn’t want to make a deal, instead of…. Because a lot of people devoted a lot of work. But I don’t think Bibi would have ever made a deal. That’s my opinion. I think the general [Gantz] wanted to make a deal. **11 December 2021 quoted by [https://www.timesofisrael.com/trump-i-thought-israelis-would-do-anything-for-peace-but-found-that-not-to-be-true/ Times of Israel] *There’s people in this country that are Jewish that no longer love Israel.<br>I’ll tell you the Evangelical Christians love Israel more than the Jews in this country.<br>It used to be that Israel had absolute power over Congress and today I think it’s the exact opposite, and I think Obama and Biden did that.<br>And yet in the election, they still get a lot of votes from Jewish people…which tells you that the Jewish people, and I’ve said this for a long time.<br>The Jewish people in the United States either don’t like Israel or don’t care about Israel.<br>I mean, you look at The New York Times, The New York Times hates Israel, hates them, and they’re Jewish people that run The New York Times, I mean the Sulzberger family. **17 December 2021 per [https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2021/12/donald-trump-anti-semitism-jews-israel Vanity Fair] *I think the origins are so obvious. They came out of the Wuhan lab. And I think if anybody thinks anything differently, they’re just kidding themselves. So, you can ask — China has to pay. They have to do something. '''They have to pay reparations'''. And China doesn’t have the money to pay those reparations. I believe that worldwide — I’m not just talking United States — worldwide, '''$60 trillion of damage''', $60 trillion. China doesn’t have $60 trillion. But they have to do something to make up for what they’ve done. What they’ve done to the world is so horrible. It’s been horrible, all over the world. And it doesn’t stop. **[https://www.breitbart.com/clips/2021/12/19/trump-china-must-pay-for-covid-origins-they-have-to-pay-reparations/ 19 December 2021] * <i> About developing vaccines against Covid-19: </i> Look, we did something that was historic, we saved tens of millions of lives worldwide. We, together, all of us, not me. ** [https://edition.cnn.com/2021/12/20/politics/donald-trump-booster-shot-boos/index.html "Trump met with boos after revealing he received Covid-19 booster"], CNN, 21 December 2021 * I came up with a vaccine, with three vaccines. ** [https://thehill.com/policy/healthcare/public-global-health/587079-trump-pushes-back-on-candace-owens-people-arent-dying "Trump pushes back on Candace Owens: 'People aren't dying when they take the vaccine'"], The Hill, 23 December 2021 ===2022=== ====January 2022==== * If you take [[COVID-19 vaccine|the vaccine]], you're protected. Look, the results of the vaccine are very good, and if you do get it, it's a very minor form. People aren't dying when they take the vaccine. ** 6 January 2022, interviewed by [[Candace Owens]], discussing the [[COVID-19 vaccine]]; reported in Bruce Y. Lee, "[https://www.forbes.com/sites/brucelee/2021/12/24/trump-tells-candace-owens-that-covid-19-vaccines-work-one-of-the-greatest-achievements-of-mankind/ Trump Tells Candace Owens That Covid-19 Vaccines Work: 'One Of The Greatest Achievements Of Mankind']", [[Forbes]] (Jan 6, 2022) *I ran twice and we won twice.<br>This crowd is a massive symbol of what took place, because people are hungry for the truth. They want their country back. **15 January 2022 [https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2022/01/trump-arizona-rally-2024-election/621244/ via Elaine Godfrey of The Atlantic] *If I run and if I win, we will treat those people from January sixth fairly. We will treat them fairly.<br>And if it requires pardons, we will give them pardons. Because they are being treated so unfairly. **30 January 2022 [https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2022/01/hope-go-jail-get-book-thrown-deserve-lindsey-graham-susan-collins-buck-trump-vow-persecute-jan-6ers/ reported by TGP] *Actually, what they are saying, is that [[Mike Pence]] did have the right to change the outcome, and they now want to take that right away. Unfortunately, he didn’t exercise that power. '''He could have overturned the election!''' **31 January 2022, at a rally in Conroe Texas, as quoted in “[https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/jan/31/donald-trump-mike-pence-overturn-election Quiet part loud: Trump says Pence ‘could have overturned the election’]”, by Martin Pengelly, for ''{{w|The Guardian}}''. ====February 2022==== *I was right and everyone knows it. If there is fraud or large scale irregularities, it would have been appropriate to send those votes back to the legislatures to figure it out. **4 February 2022 per 7 February 2022 report by Reuters [https://www.reuters.com/world/us/pence-says-trump-was-wrong-that-he-could-have-overturned-2020-election-result-2022-02-04/ Pence says Trump was wrong that he could have overturned 2020 election] by Alexandra Ulmer * I went in yesterday and there was a television screen, and I said, 'This is genius.' [[Vladimir Putin|Putin]] declares a big portion of the Ukraine, of [[Ukraine]], Putin declares it as independent. Oh, that's wonderful. So Putin is now saying, 'It's independent,' a large section of Ukraine. I said, 'How smart is that?' And he's going to go in and be a peacekeeper. That's the strongest peace force. We could use that on our southern border. That's the strongest peace force I've ever seen. ... Here's a guy who's very savvy. ... I know him very well. Very, very well. ** Said about the Russian invasion of Ukraine, in an interview at The Clay Travis & Buck Sexton Show, as quoted in [https://edition.cnn.com/2022/02/23/politics/donald-trump-vladimir-putin-joe-biden/index.html "Trump sides with Putin as Biden tries to stop a war"], CNN, 23 February 2022. * They say, 'Trump said Putin's smart.' I mean, he's taking over a country for two dollars' worth of [[Sanction|sanctions]]. I'd say that's pretty smart. He's taking over a country — really a vast, vast location, a great piece of land with a lot of people, and just walking right in. ** [https://edition.cnn.com/2022/02/24/politics/donald-trump-praises-putin/index.html "Why Donald Trump can't stop praising Vladimir Putin"], CNN, 24 February 2022 ====March 2022==== *They laid down the welcome mat and gave Russia the opening, now Putin may be getting everything he wanted, with Ukraine and the rest of the World suffering the consequences. It’s terrible, but this is what you get with Biden, the Democrats, and RINO warmongers! [https://www.donaldjtrump.com/news/news-cxhdzqwssb1663 03/01/22 ] * The vote counter is often more important than the candidate. ** [https://news.yahoo.com/trump-says-gop-needs-tougher-211714688.html "Trump says the GOP needs to get 'tougher' at the ballot box: 'The vote counter is often more important than the candidate'"], yahoo news, 6 March 2022 *Whatever happened to free speech in our Country? Incredibly, but not surprisingly, the Big Tech lunatics have taken down my interview with the very popular NELK Boys so that nobody can watch it or in any way listen to it....In Russia, the people are not allowed to know that they’re fighting a war with Ukraine, that’s where our media is going, and that’s where our Country is going because it quickly follows—just study history.We need freedom of speech again, we don’t have it and it’s getting worse every day! **[https://www.donaldjtrump.com/news/news-tayryvrzzk1694 Statement by Donald J. Trump, 45th President of the United States of America 03/11/22] *She owes me nearly $300,000, Now all I have to do is wait for all of the money she owes me. **[https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2022/mar/21/donald-trump-crows-liberal-9th-circuit-court-seals/ Trump crows as liberal 9th Circuit seals victory over Stormy Daniels, Michael Avenatti] *I listen to him constantly using the n-word, that’s the n-word, and he’s constantly using it, the nuclear word. They didn’t attack any other countries under us. I’m the only one where that didn’t happen. And with Bush, they took Georgia, and they took Crimea with Biden and Obama. And now he said ‘to hell with it. Let’s take the whole thing'. **[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-putin-nuclear-n-word-b2040702.html Trump says Putin keeps using the ‘n-word’ meaning ‘nuclear’ as he claims Russian leader is ‘different’ man to one he dealt with] *Single most dangerous time for our country in history... yet you have people like John Kerry worrying about the climate! The climate! Oh, I heard that the other day. Here we are, [Russian President Vladimir Putin is] threatening us [and] he’s worried about the ocean will rise one-hundredth of one percent over the next 300 fucking’ years. **[https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2022/03/28/two-stark-reminders-about-political-challenge-tackling-climate-change/ Two stark reminders about the political challenge of tackling climate change] *The Left has become so extreme that we now have a justice being nominated to the Supreme Court who testified under oath that she could not say what a woman is, And a party that's unwilling to admit that men and women are biologically different in defiance of all scientific and human history, is a party that should not be anywhere near the levers of power in the United States of America. **[https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/watch-single-most-dangerous-time-trump-blasts-climate-change-crt-and-kbj ‘Single most dangerous time’: Trump blasts climate change, CRT, and KBJ] ====April 2022==== *Happy Easter to all including the Radical Left Maniacs who are trying everything to destroy our country May they not succeed, but let them, nevertheless, be happy, healthy, wealthy and well! **[https://news.yahoo.com/biden-trump-release-very-different-202600019.html Yahoo!] *He went out of his way to deceptively edit an interview and got caught. That is a big story, isn’t it? **[https://www.donaldjtrump.com/news/news-hm9chvnk6z0 Donald Trump], [https://www.mediaite.com/tv/listen-trump-releases-audio-to-ending-of-doctored-interview-with-fool-piers-morgan/ mediaite] * I think I’m the most honest human being perhaps that god ever created. ** Claimed at an an event in Selma, North Carolina, on April 10, 2022, referred to in [https://www.thelist.com/829709/donald-trump-just-described-himself-in-a-very-unexpected-way/ "Donald Trump Just Described Himself In A Very Unexpected Way"], ''The List'' (April 12, 2022) * But when I didn’t win the election .. ** [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DrQC-oNAeQ Marjorie Taylor Greene & Matt Gaetz NOT HAPPY with Jimmy & Trump FINALLY Admits Defeat] (Apr 11, 2022) (video) * Which would you rather be, a dumb person or a dictator? Perhaps a dictator would be better. I don't want to be a dumb person. ** [https://www.businessinsider.com/trump-rather-be-a-dictator-than-a-dumb-person-video-2022-4?r=US&IR=T Trump says he'd rather be 'a dictator' than 'a dumb person' after bragging about the cognitive test he took in 2018], Business Insider, 22 April 2022 April 2022 ====May 2022==== *With rampant and record setting crime, a 42.8% increase over last year was just announced, and every other unimaginable problem, no wonder everyone is leaving the New York State, including businesses left and right. **[https://www.donaldjtrump.com/news/news-sarvcupgsh1991 Save America] * I am not currently in possession of any Trump Organization-issued phones, computers or similar devices. :I believe the last phone or device I was issued by the Trump Organization was a cellphone in 2015. I no longer have the cellphone in my possession and I am not aware of its current location. :Since January 1, 2010, I previously owned two flip phones and a [[w:Samsung|Samsung]] mobile phone. I do not have the two flips [sic] phones in my possession and I do not know their current whereabouts.” :[Samsung] it was taken from me at some point while I was president. I do not have the Samsung in my possession and I do not know its current whereabouts. :* '''[https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/may/11/trump-fine-contempt-new-york-letitia-james Trump must pay $110,000 fine to purge contempt, judge says]''' (Wed 11 May 2022 18.53 BST) *[[w:Kathy Barnette | Kathy Barnette]] will never be able to win the general election against the radical left democrats. She has many things in her past which have not been properly explained or vetted, but if she is able to do so, she will have a wonderful future in the Republican Party — and I will be behind her all the way ** [[Trump]] according to [https://www.smerconish.com/exclusive-content/pennsylvania-my-primary-concern Pennsylvania: My Primary Concern] (May 14) =====NRA convention speech (May 27, 2022)===== * The existence of evil in our world is not a reason to disarm law-abiding citizens. The existence of evil is one of the very best reasons to arm law-abiding citizens. * Every time a disturbed or demented person commits a hideous crime there is always a grotesque effort by some in our society to advance their own extreme political agenda. ** Speech at the NRA convention, Houston (May 27, 2022), as cited in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/may/28/school-shooting-strengthens-case-for-guns-donald-trump-tells-nra "School shooting strengthens case for guns, Donald Trump tells NRA"] ''The Guardian'' (May 28, 2022) * We need a top-to-bottom security overhaul of schools [...] Every building should have a single entry point. No one should ever be able to get near a classroom until they have been checked, scanned and screened ... Above all, from this day forward, every school in America should have an armed police officer or an armed resources officer on duty at all times. [...] Clearly, we need to make it far easier to confine the violent and mentally deranged into mental institutions. ** Speech at the NRA convention, Houston (May 27, 2022), as cited in [https://www.smh.com.au/world/north-america/after-horror-failure-of-uvalde-massacre-business-as-usual-at-nra-meeting-in-houston-20220528-p5ap7y.html "After horror, failure of Uvalde massacre, business as usual at NRA meeting in Houston"] ''The Sydney Morning Herald'' (May 28, 2022) ==== July 2022 ==== * Warmongering and despicable human being [[Liz Cheney]], who is hated by the great people of Wyoming (down 35!), keeps saying, over and over again, that HER Fake Unselect Committee may recommend CRIMINAL CHARGES against a President of the United States who got more votes than any sitting President in history, ** Said about Republican Congress Member Liz Cheney after she mentioned the possibility of raising criminal charges against Trump for his role in connection with the January 6 attack on the Congress of the United States, quoted in [https://nypost.com/2022/07/04/trump-rips-liz-cheney-after-she-suggests-jan-6-charges/ "Trump rips ‘despicable’ Liz Cheney after she suggests Jan. 6 charges for ex-president"], New York Post, 4 July 2022 * Leon’s, I’ll tell you what, Elon, Elon, is not going to buy Twitter. … He’s got himself a mess. He said the other day, ‘Oh, I’ve never voted for a Republican.’ I said, ‘I didn’t know that. He told me he voted for me.’ So, he’s another bullshit artist. But he’s not going to be buying it. ** Claimed about Elon Musk, who later [[w:Acquisition of Twitter by Elon Musk | bought Twitter]]. Quoted in [https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/trump-alaska-rally-elon-musk-1380402/ "Trump Bashes Elon Musk as ‘Bullshit Artist’ at Alaska Rally"], ''Rolling Stone'' (July 9, 2022) * I feel very confident that, if I decide to run, I’ll win. * In my own mind, I’ve already made that decision, so nothing factors in anymore. In my own mind, I’ve already made that decision. * I made America great again, and I may have to do it again. ** [https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/donald-trump-2024-decision.html "Donald Trump on 2024: ‘I’ve Already Made That Decision’ The only question left in the former president’s mind is when he’ll announce"], Intelligencer, 14 July 2022 ==== September 2022 ==== * J.D. is kissing my ass he wants my support so bad. ** Said about [[J.D. Vance]], Republican Senate candidate for Ohio, quoted in [https://edition.cnn.com/2022/09/19/politics/donald-trump-jd-vance-ohio-rally/index.html "Donald Trump humiliated J.D. Vance for fun"], CNN, 20 September 2022 * If you're the president of the United States, you can declassify just by saying it's declassified, even by thinking about it, because you're sending it to Mar-a-Lago or to wherever you're sending it. And there doesn't have to be a process. There can be a process, but it doesn't have to be. ** [https://www.baynews9.com/fl/tampa/politics/2022/09/22/trump--presidents-can-declassify-files-by--thinking-about-it- "Trump: Presidents can declassify files by 'thinking about it'"], Bay News 9, 22 September 2022 ==== October 2022 ==== * They actually taunted him, if you really look at it. Our country, and our so-called leadership, taunted Putin. I said, you know, they're almost forcing him to go in with what they're saying. The rhetoric was so dumb. ** [https://www.newsweek.com/trump-blames-us-almost-forcing-putin-invade-ukraine-1750145/ Trump Blames U.S. for 'Almost Forcing' Putin to Invade Ukraine], Newsweek, 8 October 2022 ==== November 2022 ==== * We're winning big, big, big in the [[Republican Party]] for the nomination like nobody's ever seen before :There it is, Trump at 71 [percent]. [[Ron DeSanctimonious]] at 10 percent. [[Mike Pence]] at 7 — oh, Mike Pence doing better than I thought​. :* [https://nypost.com/2022/11/06/trump-mocks-desantis-as-ron-desanctimonious/ Pompeo jumps to defend DeSantis after Trump's 'Ron DeSanctimonious' comments] (By Mark Moore November 6, 2022 1:41pm Updated) *The Absentee Ballot situation in Detroit is REALLY BAD.<br>People are showing up to Vote only to be told 'sorry, you have already voted.'<br>This is happening in large numbers, elsewhere as well.<br>Protest, Protest, Protest! **8 November 2022 [https://truthsocial.com/embed/109309832870332871 post on TruthSocia] later [https://twitter.com/JocelynBenson/status/1590079320302968832 quoted via screenshot in tweet] by [[Jocelyn Benson]] which was [https://www.yahoo.com/now/trump-amplifies-nonsense-claims-voter-212425641.html quoted by Yahoo News] * Well, I think if they win, I should get all the credit. And if they lose, I should not be blamed at all, OK, but it’ll probably be just the opposite. :* [https://www.nytimes.com/2022/11/09/us/politics/trump-endorsements-midterms-gop.html Trump Hoped for a Celebration but Did Not Have Much to Cheer] (By By Michael C. Bender and Maggie Haberman November 9, 2022, 2:33 a.m. ET) * [[Ron DeSantis|Ron DeSanctimonious]] is playing games! The Fake News asks him if he's going to run if President Trump runs, and he says, 'I'm only focused on the Governor's race, I'm not looking into the future.' Well, in terms of loyalty and class, that's really not the right answer. ** Adam Carlson, Jay O'Brien, and Katherine Faulders, [https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/trump-takes-aim-ron-desantis-suggesting-2024-rival/story?id=93084111 Trump takes aim at Ron DeSantis, suggesting he's a 2024 rival], ''ABC News'' (November 10, 2022). *He shows up with 3 people, two of which I didn’t know, the other a political person who I haven’t seen in years,” the former president wrote on Truth Social. “Fake News went CRAZY!” **29 November 2022 on Truth Social (per [https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/donald-trump-kanye-west-nick-fuentes-mar-a-lago-dinner-1234638552/ this article] by Charisma Madarang of Rolling Stone) after [[Kanye West]] showed up for dinner with Boeing employee Jamal and [[Nick Fuentes]] (the two unknowns) and [[Karen Giorno]] (an aide from Trump's 2016 campaign) in a meeting arranged by [[Milo Yiannopoulos]] (who did not attend) via Karen ====December 2022==== * People have been treated unconstitutionally in my opinion and very, very unfairly, and we’re going to get to the bottom of it. ** Comments made concerning rioters involved in the [[2021 United States Capitol attack]] during a fund raising speech cited in [https://edition.cnn.com/2022/12/02/politics/donald-trump-january-6-rioters-support/index.html "Trump expresses support for Capitol rioters as he continues to embrace extremist groups"] ''CNN Politics'' (December 2, 2022) * Do you throw the Presidential Election Results of 2020 OUT and declare the RIGHTFUL WINNER, or do you have a NEW ELECTION? A Massive Fraud of this type and magnitude allows for the termination of all rules, regulations, and articles, even those found in the Constitution. ** cited in [https://edition.cnn.com/2022/12/03/politics/trump-constitution-truth-social/index.html "Trump calls for the termination of the Constitution in Truth Social post"] ''CNN Politics'' (December 4, 2022) ===2023=== ====January 2023==== *So an out-of-control wild man kills beautiful Ashli Babbitt, a true Patriot, who was the only one killed on January 6th.<br>Her mother goes to protest her death and memory, and they arrest her mother.<br>Something has to be done about these [[Communism|Communists]] and [[Marxism|Marxists]] that are taking over and destroying our Country.<br>Pray for Ashli, and her wonderful, brave mother! **8 January 2023 [https://gab.com/realdonaldtrump/posts/109655572118634418 gab] *The [[left-wing]] [[gender]] [[insanity]] being pushed on our children is an act of child abuse—very simple. **31 January 2023 [https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/trump-attacks-transgender-rights-video-1234671967/ per Rolling Stone] ====February 2023==== * Rihanna gave, without question, the single worst Halftime Show in Super Bowl history—This after insulting far more than half of our Nation, which is already in serious DECLINE, with her foul and insulting language. Also, so much for her ‘Stylist!’ ** [https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2023/02/donald-trump-rihanna-super-bowl-halftime-performance-epic-fail-truth-social "Donald Trump Calls Rihanna's Super Bowl Halftime Performance an 'Epic Fail'"], Vanity Fair, 13 February 2023 ====March 2023==== =====CPAC keynote speech (March 4, 2023)===== <small>CPAC keynote address in National Harbor, Maryland, on March 4, 2023, reported in {{cite web|url=https://www.newsweek.com/five-key-moments-donald-trump-cpac-speech-1785586 |title=Five Key Moments from Donald Trump's Crucial CPAC Speech|first1=Khaleda|last1=Rahman|publisher=Newsweek|date=March 5, 2023}}</small> * I'm the only candidate who can make this promise: I will prevent, and very easily, World War III. * We are never going back to a party that wants to give unlimited money to fight foreign endless wars but demands we cut veteran benefits and retirement benefits at home. * We’re not going back to people that want to destroy our great Social Security system – even some in our own party; I wonder who that might be – who want to raise the minimum age of Social Security to 70, 75 or even 80 in some cases, and who are out to cut Medicare to a level that will be unrecognizable * In 2016, I declared: I am your voice. Today, I add: I am your warrior. I am your justice. And for those who have been wronged and betrayed: I am your retribution. * I will totally obliterate the deep state. I will fire the unelected bureaucrats and shadow forces who have weaponized our justice system like it has never been weaponized before. And I will put the people back in charge of this country again. *This is the final battle – they know it, I know it, you know it, everybody knows it. Either they win, or we win. And I promise you this: If you put me back in the White House, their reign will be over, and America will be a free nation once again. *'''Before I even arrive''' at the Oval Office, I will have the disastrous war between Russia and Ukraine settled.<br>I will get the problem solved.<br>And I will get it solved in rapid order and ''''it will take me no longer than one day''', I know exactly what to say to each of them, I got along very well with Putin. **the [https://www.cnn.com/2023/03/04/politics/trump-cpac-speech/index.html March 4th] speech was referenced when this was quoted [https://www.cnn.com/2023/03/07/politics/trump-desantis-ukraine-2024-campaign/index.html March 7th] by Stephen Collinson in a CNN analysis ***Trump later reuses the phrase "before I even arrive at the Oval Office" in [[#June 2024]] in Philadelphia ====April 2023==== *Republicans in Congress should defund the DOJ and FBI until they come to their senses. The Democrats have totally weaponized law enforcement in our country and are viciously using this abuse of power to interfere with our already under siege elections! **[https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/donald-trump-calls-defunding-federal-police-arrest-new-york-rcna78301 Donald Trump calls for defunding federal police after his arrest in New York] ''Truth Social'' (April 5, 2023) =====NRA convention speech (April 14, 2023)===== * Our country has been chock full of guns for centuries, and there was no talk of [[w:School shooting|massacres of schoolchildren]] until around the year 2000. That's what it really started. They started talking about it. '''This is not a gun problem.''' This is a mental health problem. This is a social problem. This is a cultural problem. This is a spiritual problem. * I will ask Congress to repeal totally ineffective legislation that makes it harder to protect our schools and easier for criminals to face absolutely no opposition when they go in. I will also create a new tax credit to reimburse any teacher for the full costs of a concealed carry firearm and training from highly qualified experts. Who's better? Who's better? '''If even 5% of teachers, people that are skilled with arms, we want that. 5% were voluntarily armed and trained to stop active shooters. We would achieve effective deterrence and the problem would cease to exist.''' ** From a [[National Rifle Association|NRA]] convention speech in Indianapolis (April 14, 2023), cited in [https://newsroom.ap.org/editorial-photos-videos/detail?itemid=97388003ab4443938dba616244ea0117 "Trump calls for arming teachers at NRA convention"] ''AP Newsroom'' (April 15, 2023) * [T]he only way to stop these wicked actions is to '''ensure that any sicko who would shoot up a school knows that within seconds, not minutes, they will face certain death.''' ** Speech at the NRA convention, Indianapolis (April 14, 2023), cited in [https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2023/04/14/trump-pence-nra-2024/ "Trump, in legal peril, draws cheers at NRA convention; Pence draws boos"] ''The Washington Post'' (April 14, 2023) ====May 2023==== *They’re dying, Russians and Ukrainians. '''I want them to stop dying.''' And I’ll have that done — '''I’ll have that done in 24 hours''' **May 2023 at a CNN Town Hall, quoted in [https://apnews.com/article/trump-russia-ukraine-war-un-election-a78ecb843af452b8dda1d52d137ca893 2 July 2024 article by Edith M. Lederer for AP News] ==== June 2023 ==== [[File:"TOP SECRET SCI" (Top Secret Sensitive Compartmented Information) cover sheets - from, Classified intelligence material found during search of Mar-a-Lago (cropped).jpg|thumb|I AM AN [[Innocence|INNOCENT]] MAN!]] * I have been [[Federal prosecution of Donald Trump|summoned to appear at the Federal Courthouse]] in [[Miami]] on Tuesday, at 3 PM. I never thought it [[possible]] that such a thing could happen to a former [[President of the United States]], who received far more [[votes]] than any sitting President in the History of our Country, and is currently leading, by far, all Candidates, both [[Democrat]] and [[Republican]], in Polls of the [[2024 United States presidential election|2024 Presidential Election]]. I AM AN [[Innocence|INNOCENT]] MAN! ** Web posting, reported in [https://www.local10.com/news/local/2023/06/08/trump-told-to-appear-in-miami-after-indictment-by-federal-grand-jury-abc-reporting/ "Trump told to appear in Miami after indictment by federal grand jury, ABC reporting" in ''WPLG Local 10'' (8 June 2023)] *'''This is the final battle'''. With you at my side, we will demolish the deep state. expel the warmongers from our government. We will drive out the globalists. We will cast out the Communists, Marxists, and Fascists, and we will throw off the sick political class that hates our country. We will rout the fake news media, and we will defeat crooked Joe Biden. We will liberate America from these villains once and for all. **[https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2023/06/trump-lists-all-the-villains-he-plans-to-destroy-in-a-second-term Trump told the audience at the Oakland County Republican Party’s Lincoln Day Dinner] *For three years, Biden and his radical left allies have waged war on American auto workers in his ridiculous crusade to force everyone into electric cars, ridiculous regulations kill more than half of US auto jobs and decimate the suppliers that they decimated already, decimate the suppliers and it’s going to decimate your jobs. **[https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2023/06/26/donald-trump-accuses-joe-biden-environmental-extremism/ Telegraph] , [https://www.candgnews.com/news/trump-headlines-oakland-county-republican-party-lincoln-day-dinner-2796 Trump headlines Oakland County Republican Party Lincoln Day Dinner] ====July 2023==== *“Is it Crooked Joe and his wonderful son, Hunter? Release the findings, release the tapes. We can’t have a crackhead in charge of our Nuclear Arsenal!! **[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-hunter-biden-cocaine-justice-department-b2373556.html] *… He’s totally compromised...I don’t like doing the same word for two people. We’re using the word crooked for Joe Biden because Joe Biden is the most crooked president in the history. **[https://www.republicworld.com/world-news/us-news/trump-says-he-was-very-kind-to-biden-then-tells-us-president-gloves-are-off-articleshow.html republicworld] *We have potential for a war outside of Ukraine - Russia. We should have kept Bagram because Bagram is one of the largest military bases in the world cost us billions of dollars to build forget about Afghanistan, it's one hour away from where China is building their nuclear weapons. **[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ct2Vl-NO6Og] [https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OL8NDU16Ex8] [https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TZvpAqhMwdg] *If China takes Taiwan they will turn the world off potentially. **[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ct2Vl-NO6Og] [https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OL8NDU16Ex8] [https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TZvpAqhMwdg] *Millions of illegal aliens have stormed across our borders. It is an invasion, like a military invasion. Our rights and liberties are being torn to shreds,Your country is being turned into a third-world hellhole, run by censors, perverts, criminals, and thugs.” **[https://nationalpost.com/news/world/trump-u-s-is-being-turned-into-a-third-world-hellhole-run-by-perverts-and-thugs criminals and perverts] *America is tired of being ruled by radical bureaucrats in Washington the Bidens, the Clintons, the Obamas, the Radical Left Democrats, the Marxists – guys like Paul Ryan and Karl Rove. Their reign will be over, and it will be over quickly, and America will be a free nation once again. **speech [https://www.rsbnetwork.com/news/trump-says-hes-the-only-candidate-that-cant-be-owned-or-controlled/] * Think of this. We give them everything, including military protection and trade, and now we have to pay them to go there. As President I will not allow this, will end very quickly. **“U.S. CITIZENS WILL HAVE TO PAY FOR A VISA TO TRAVEL TO EUROPE STARTING IN 2024.” [https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/110776705512999901] *Gloves are off.Under crooked Joe Biden. I never called him that. I took the name away from Hillary Clinton. We call her beautiful Hillary now.Now it's crooked Joe, because it's a much more appropriate name right now for this man who's just destroying our country. **rally [https://www.newsmax.com/newsmax-tv/donald-trump-july-4-south-carolina/2023/07/01/id/1125653/] *As part of my plan to obtain total independence from China, we will phase in tariffs and import restrictions to bring back production of all essential medicines to the United States of America where they belong. I signed an executive order to begin this process in 2020 but Biden has shamefully failed to follow through. He wants it ended. He wants to take care of China. *[https://www.rsbnetwork.com/news/trump-promises-to-return-production-of-cancer-drugs-essential-medicines-to-u-s/] *They don’t go after the people who cheated in the election, they only go after the people who report on, or question the cheating if you don't have strong borders you don't have a country, right now we don't have a country. **[https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/110781850689911246] *Trumpism or America first is very simple low taxes and regulations , the most powerful military , tariffs on countries taking advantage, protection of section amendment , great healthcare , low energy prices, parental power on school boards, life , strong borders. **[https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/110781828901024566] *I expect nothing from the meeting with my lawyers and the lunatics in the DOJ regarding January 6th. They just want to interfere with the Presidential Election on 2024. It is their new form of cheating, but we will win !!! How can deranged Jack Smith bring a case on January 6th., as ridiculous as it is anyway, when I have already won such a case, and been fully acquitted, in the U.S. Senate? In other words, I was Impeached on this, and won!!! **[https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/110793264554684917] [https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/110793284091097891] ====August 2023==== *These monsters, all controlled and coordinated by the DOJ and Radical Left Lunatics, are Criminalizing Political Speech, a total SHUTDOWN OF DEMOCRACY! **Truth Social Post 6:28 PM on August 15, 2023.[https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/110895990420845351] *CROOKED JOE BIDEN IS TOTALLY CONTROLLED BY CHINA, UKRAINE, & VARIOUS OTHER COUNTRIES. THEY KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM - ALL OF HIS MISDEEDS. HE IS A COMPROMISED PRESIDENT WHO IS LEADING OUR COUNTRY TO HELL. HE IS A MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE! **Truth Social Post 6:20 PM on August 15, 2023.[https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/110895877441671196] *I believe we have a compromised president. He was bribed, and now he’s being blackmailed. He’s a Manchurian Candidate. That’s why Crooked Joe is letting other countries walk all over the United States. **Truth Social Post on August 15, 2023.[https://links.truthsocial.com/link/110895072887935769] *IMPOSSIBLE to get a fair trial in Washington, D.C., which is over 95% anti-Trump, & for which I have called for a Federal TAKEOVER in order to bring our Capital back to Greatness. It is now a high crime embarrassment to our Nation and, indeed, the World **https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/110823476578708544 *I AM NOW GOING TO WASHINGTON, D.C., TO BE ARRESTED FOR HAVING CHALLENGED A CORRUPT, RIGGED, & STOLEN ELECTION. IT IS A GREAT HONOR, BECAUSE I AM BEING ARRESTED FOR YOU. Biden and his family steal Millions and Millions of Dollars, including BRIBES from foreign countries, and I’m headed to D.C. to be ARRESTED for protesting a CROOKED ELECTION. UNFAIR VENUE, UNFAIR JUDGE. We are a Nation in Decline. **https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/110826519469646840 https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/110826840688757163 *CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I HAD TO FLY TO A FILTHY, DIRTY, FALLING APART, & VERY UNSAFE WASHINGTON, D.C., TODAY, & THAT I WAS THEN ARRESTED BY MY POLITICAL OPPONENT, WHO IS LOSING BADLY TO ME IN THE POLLS, CROOKED JOE BIDEN, IT WAS A VERY GOOD DAY! **https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/110828062805817649 *A very sad day for America, and it was also very sad driving through Washington, D.C., and seeing the filth and decay and all of the broken buildings and walls and the graffiti. This is not the place that I left. It’s a very sad thing to see it. **https://www.rsbnetwork.com/news/trump-tells-reporters-if-you-cant-beat-him-you-persecute-him-or-you-prosecute-him/ *They’re trying to make it illegal to question the results of a bad election…But only a party that cheats in elections would try to make it illegal, on Election Day 2024, we’re going to evict Crooked Joe Biden from the White House…We’re going to expel the criminals and thugs from the halls of power in Washington, D.C. **[https://www.rsbnetwork.com/news/trump-draws-biggest-crowd-ever-to-alabama-gop-dinner/ Alabama] *We are NOT a free nation, We don’t have a free press. We have a corrupt press. *[https://www.rsbnetwork.com/news/trump-the-tables-must-turn-and-we-will-quickly-destroy-the-deep-state/ Alabama] *OUR HIGHLY PARTISAN, AND VERY CORRUPT, DEPARTMENT OF INJUSTICE, COULD HAVE BROUGHT THIS BIDIN “OPPONENT” CASE YEARS AGO, BUT CHOSE TO WAIT AND BRING IT RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF MY ELECTION CAMPAIGN. NO WAY!!! I HOPE YOU ARE WATCHING AMERICA. OUR COUNTRY IS BEING DESTROYED. **https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/110842856814664717 *This will be the single biggest and most important election in the history of our country - maybe in the history of the WORLD. **https://truthsocial.com/@RSBN/posts/110840001623943794 *The “shocking and totally unexpected” loss by the U.S. Women’s Soccer Team to Sweden is fully emblematic of what is happening to the our once great Nation under Crooked Joe Biden. Many of our players were openly hostile to America - No other country behaved in such a manner, or even close. WOKE EQUALS FAILURE. Nice shot Megan, the USA is going to Hell!! *https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/110845290114601452 *WHAT THE DEPARTMENT OF INJUSTICE IS DOING TO ME IS THE SAME THING DONE BY THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES ALL OVER THE WORLD, BUT IT WILL NOT WORK. **https://www.rsbnetwork.com/news/trump-explains-why-he-should-not-have-a-protective-order-placed-on-him-by-deranged-jack-smith/ *Let’s see! My political Opponent, Crooked Joe Biden, tells Merrick Garland and the DOJ to indict and arrest me on bogus charges and accusations, trying desperately to steal the Election. But that wasn’t enough! He now wants Thug Prosecutor, Deranged Jack Smith, to file for a Court Order taking away my first amendment rights, SPEECH. So, based on yet another Radical Left Hoax, I’ll be the only “Politician” in American history not allowed to SPEAK. THE NEVER ENDING WITCH HUNT CONTINUES. **https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/110852063479466833 *They just found a letter from Crooked Joe Biden directly to Keven Archer. Oh well, so much for “Joe” not knowing anything about all of the money he extorted. At some point the LameStream Media will have to cover this story, perhaps the biggest scandal in U.S. history. When they do, our Country will start to heal! **https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/110850107581995665 *HOW CAN MY CORRUPT POLITICAL OPPONENT PUT ME ON TRIAL(S) DURING A CAMPAIGN THAT I AM WINNING (BY A LOT!), BUT FORCING ME TO SPEND TIME AND MONEY AWAY FROM THE “CAMPAIGN TRAIL” IN ORDER TO FIGHT BOGUS ACCUSATIONS & CHARGES? IS THIS GOING TO BE THE FUTURE OF ELECTIONS IN AMERICA? CAN A PRESIDENT ORDER HIS DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE TO INDICT AN OPPONENT JUST PRIOR TO AN ELECTION? **https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/110849582956879248 *Just found out that Crooked Joe Biden’s DOJ secretly attacked my Twitter account, making it a point not to let me know about this major “hit” on my civil rights. My Political Opponent is going CRAZY trying to infringe on my Campaign for President. Nothing like this has ever happened before. Does the First Amendment still exist? Did Deranged Jack Smith tell the Unselects to DESTROY & DELETE all evidence? **https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/110860965885418709 *It’s not like the State or Country is coming down on me. It’s a dishonest politician and his gang of Thugs breaking the law in order to get re-elected. **https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/110859441854770499 *So now that I have full Subpoena Power because of the Freedom of Speech Sham Indictment by Crooked Joe Biden, Deranged Jack Smith, and the DOJ, it has just been reported that the Unselect January 6th Committee of Political Hacks and Thugs has illegally destroyed their Records and Documents. This is unthinkable, and the Fake Political Indictment against me must be immediately withdrawn. The system is Rigged & Corrupt, very much like the Presidential Election of 2020. We are a Nation in Decline. **https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/110857162338915853 *Thousands of veterans were put on secret medial wait lists and many of them were left to die, All of that changed when WE arrived at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. **https://www.rsbnetwork.com/news/trump-lays-out-exemplary-agenda-that-will-restore-hope-and-care-to-americas-veterans/ *Whenever more Biden corruption is exposed his henchmen charge me with a crime. **https://truthsocial.com/@RSBN/posts/110855681234356104 *I think that Crooked Joe Biden is not only dumb and incompetent, I believe he has gone MAD, a stark raving Lunatic, with his HORRIBLE AND COUNTRY THREATENING ENVIRONMENTAL, OPEN BORDERS, & DOJ/FBI WEAPONIZATION POLICIES. HE IS A MENTAL CATASTROPHE THAT IS LEADING OUR COUNTRY TO HELL!What Crooked Joe Biden, who can’t string two sentences together, has done to our once great Country through his Open Borders CATASTROPHE, may go down as the greatest and most damaging mistake ever made in USA HISTORY. It is not even believable that such incompetence and stupidity could have been allowed to happen. OUR COUNTRY IS BEING DESTROYED BY A MAN WITH THE MIND, IDEAS, AND I.Q. OF A FIRST GRADER. THIS INVASION OF OUR COUNTRY MUST STOP IMMEDIATELY. IT CANNOT BE ALLOWED TO CONTINUE! **https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/110865224814637476 https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/110865185229848140 *The Fake Indictments against me didn’t come down from heaven, they came from the most corrupt President in the history of the United States, Crooked Joe Biden, in order to Rig & Steal another Election. **[https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/110867274500411944] *Why is “Phoney” (Like in PERFECT “PHONE” CALL, get it?) Fani Willis, the severely underperforming D.A. of Fulton County who is being accused of having an “affair” with a Gang Member of a group that she is prosecuting, leaking my name in regard to a Grand Jury pertaining to Election Fraud & Irregularities that I say took place in Georgia. I made a PERFECT PHONE CALL OF PROTEST. What does Phoney Fani have to do with me? She should instead focus on the record number of murders in Atlanta! **https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/110882230702522121 *The only Election Interference that took place in Fulton County, Georgia, was done by those that Rigged and Stole the Election, not by me, who simply complained that the Election was Rigged and Stolen. We have Massive and Conclusive Proof, if the Grand Jury would like to see it. Unfortunately, the publicity seeking D.A. isn’t interested in Justice, or this evidence. Also, as in Manhattan, the corrupt DOJ is pushing hard trying to keep Biden in Office. The whole system is dishonest and broken! **https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/110882321735123573 *To say no comment is oftentimes fine, but to be smiling when you say it, especially again such a tragedy as this, is absolutely horrible and unacceptable, Our government was not prepared. And very importantly, the aftermath is going very poorly with the governor of the island wanting to do nothing but blame it on global warming, and other things that just happen to pop into his head. **https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4152554-trump-bidens-response-to-maui-fires-disgraceful/ *“Hey, I’m running against a guy, I’m going to Indict him 3 or 4 times to keep him busy.” Does anyone think that Crooked Joe Biden would have said something like this??? **https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/110914172490735501 *David Rivkin, a highly respected Constitutional law scholar, just clearly stated that I have “Constitutionally-based immunity” and “absolute immunity! **https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/110918895000463495 *Why should Crooked Joe Biden be able to force me into the time and expense of trials, especially before the Election, on bogus claims pushed by his chief political supporter, The Department of Injustice? What a horrible precedent this sets for future Presidential campaigns. Crooked Joe Biden’s only campaign strategy is Indicting me, going on extended vacations, and Sleep, Sleep, Sleep!!! **https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/110918860464876718 https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/110918173717605996 *I easily won the Great State of Georgia in 2016, did a fantastic job, as President, for Georgia and the entire USA, received 10 Million more votes than I got, nationwide, in 2016, got by far the most votes in history for a sitting President, but shockingly, “LOST” Georgia. All this despite winning nearby Alabama and South Carolina in Record Setting Landslides. Why did Georgia officials agree to, and sign, the one sided Consent Decree? Does anybody really believe I lost Georgia? I DON’T! **https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/110916681777676824 ====September 2023==== *MINORITY VOTERS ARE ABANDONING CROOKED JOE BIDEN & THE DEMOCRAT PARTY FOR “TRUMP.” THANK YOU, A VERY WISE DECISION! **https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/1110151303435539041 *It is all a shadow of its former self. Ukraine, Inflation, Bad Economy, Woke Military, No World Standing, No Respect, and today, 6 Billion Dollars for hostages. Where is the call from Republicans for the 25th Amendment. **Truth social *Can you believe that Crooked Joe Biden is giving $6 Billion to the terrorist regime in Iran? That money be used for terrorism all over the Middle East, and, indeed, the World. This incompetent FOOL is absolutely destroying America He had the audacity to announce this terrible deal today, September 11th. To pay for hostages will lead to kidnapping, ransom, and blackmail against Americans across the globe So, lets get this straight! We did a hostage TRADE with Iran. We gave them 5 very tough, smart people that they desperately wanted. We likewise got back 5 people BUT, we also gave them 6 BILLION DOLLARS! How much of a kickback does Crooked Joe Biden get Does anyone realize how much money 6 Billion Dollars is? When I was President, I got back 58 hostages for ZERO money. Remember Pastor Brunson? It sets a TERRIBLE precedent. Republicans, call out the 25th Amendment, NOW! Biden is INCOMPETENT **https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/4199317-trump-rips-biden-for-release-of-6b-in-iranian-funds/ *Early in the administration Education department will be closing . we spend more money on education than any other country yet we are bottom of every list. **[https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=ojRde4zCYd0 Truth social] *Biden’s job killing EV mandate has dictated that nearly seven percent of all cars sold in the US must be fully electric in less than 10 years. Crooked Joe Biden is back like a wretched old vulture. **[https://www.rsbnetwork.com/news/trump-crooked-joe-biden-is-back-like-a-wretched-old-vulture-trying-to-finish-off-his-prey/] *[[Mark Milley]], who led perhaps the most embarrassing moment in American history with his grossly incompetent implementation of the withdrawal from Afghanistan, costing many lives, leaving behind hundreds of American citizens, and handing over BILLIONS of dollars of the finest military equipment ever made, will be leaving the military next week. This will be a time for all citizens of the USA to celebrate! This guy turned out to be a Woke train wreck who, if the Fake News reporting is correct, was actually dealing with China to give them a heads up on the thinking of the President of the United States. This is an act so egregious that, in times gone by, the punishment would have been DEATH! A war between China and the United States could have been the result of this treasonous act. To be continued!!! **[https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/111111513207332826 Truth social] * Nobody has any idea where these people are coming from. And we know they come from prisons. We know they come from mental institutions, insane asylums. We know they're terrorists. Nobody has seen anything like we're witnessing right now. It is a very sad thing for our country. It's poisoning the blood of our country. It's so bad. ** ''The National Pulse'' interview, quoted in {{cite web |date=2023-10-17 |title=Trump - "Migrants Poisoning the Blood of Our Country" |work=Meidas Touch |url=https://www.meidastouch.com/:section/trump-migrants-poisoning-the-blood-of-our-country }} ====October 2023==== *We will immediately stop all of the pillaging and theft. Very simply: If you rob a store, you can fully expect to be shot as you are leaving that store... Shot! The word that they shoot you will get out within minutes and our nation, in one day, will be an entirely different place. There must be retribution for theft and destruction and the ruination of our country **2 October 2023 in [https://nypost.com/2023/10/02/trump-calls-for-shoplifters-to-be-shot-to-save-the-nation/ NY Post] *I had a wonderful life before all this stuff. I '''didn't know what a grand jury was''', I didn't know what a subpoena, '''what is a subpoena'''? I had a wonderful life. **5 October 2023 in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1uPUfVrb74&t=842s spoken interview] * lowlife with a very small brain and a very big mouth * by far the dumbest of my military people * incapable of doing a good job * It was too much for him, and I couldn’t stand the guy, so I fired him like a ‘dog’ ** Claimed about John Kelly, retired U.S. Marine Corps general, former Chief of Staff for Donald Trump, and before that US Homeland Security Secretary, quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/oct/05/donald-trump-john-kelly-comments-military-veterans "‘Lowlife with small brain and big mouth’: Trump hits out at ex-aide Kelly"], ''The Guardian'' (October 5, 2023) * There’s a man, Viktor Orbán, did anyone ever hear of him? He’s probably, like, one of the strongest leaders anywhere in the world. He’s the leader of Turkey. **24 October 2023 in [https://www.politico.eu/article/trump-confuses-turkish-and-hungarian-leaders-orban-erdogan/ "Trump praises Hungary’s ‘Viktor Orbán’ as great ‘leader of Turkey’"], ''Politico'' ==== November 2023 ==== * We pledge to you that we will root out the Communists, Marxists, Fascists, and Radical Left Thugs that live like vermin within the confines of our Country, lie, steal, and cheat on Elections, and will do anything possible, whether legally or illegally, to destroy America, and the American Dream. The threat from outside forces is far less sinister, dangerous, and grave, than the threat from within. Despite the hatred and anger of the Radical Left Lunatics who want to destroy our Country, we will MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! ** [https://www.thenation.com/article/politics/donald-trump-fascist-vermin/ "The “Is Donald Trump a Fascist?” Debate Has Been Ended—by Donald Trump"], ''The Nation'' (November 14, 2023) ====December 2023==== *: ''Sean Hannity:'' Under no circumstances, you are promising America tonight, you would never abuse power as retribution against anybody? *:''Donald Trump:'' Except for day one. *: ''Sean Hannity:'' Except for— *: ''Donald Trump:'' ''[aside to audience, pointing at Sean]'' He's doing great. ''[to Sean]'' Except for day one. I want to close the border and I want to drill, drill, drill. * We love this guy. He says, "You’re not going to be a dictator, are ya?" I said: "No, no, no, other than day one. We're closing the border, and we're drilling, drilling, drilling. After that, I'm not a dictator." **5 December 2023 in Davenport, Iowa town hall, quoted in {{cite news |date=2023-12-05 |title=Trump to Hannity on Whether He’ll Abuse Power as President: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ |periodical=Rolling Stone |url=https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/donald-trump-hannity-iowa-town-hall-1234917385/ }} * They let — I think the real number is 15, 16 million people into our country. When they do that, we got a lot of work to do.<br>They're poisoning the '''blood of our country''', that's what they've done.<br>They poison mental institutions and prisons all over the world, not just in South America, not just to three or four countries that we think about, but all over the world. They're coming into our country from Africa, from Asia, all over the world. **16 December 2023 in Durham, New Hampshire rally, quoted in {{cite news |date=2023-12-17 |title=Trump says immigrants are 'poisoning the blood of our country.' Biden campaign likens comments to Hitler. |periodical=NBC News |url=https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2024-election/trump-says-immigrants-are-poisoning-blood-country-biden-campaign-liken-rcna130141 }} *ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION IS POISONING THE BLOOD OF OUR NATION **17 December 2023 per [https://www.the-independent.com/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-poisoning-blood-quote-fascism-b2465618.html Alex Woodward article in The Independent] on Trumps TruthSocial account after leaving New Hampshire ===2024=== ====January 2024==== *Even if you vote and then pass away, it's worth it. **14 January 2024 per [https://www.businessinsider.com/donald-trump-worth-it-sick-vote-iowa-caucus-pass-away-2024-1 Business Insider] and [https://edition.cnn.com/videos/politics/2024/01/15/donald-trump-vote-pass-away-iowa-caucus-vpx.cnn CNN] *“We’re going to place strong protections to stop banks and regulators from trying to debank you from your—our political beliefs what they do. They want to debank you. We’re going to debank—think of this. They want to take away your country. Electric cars... They wanna take away your rights. They wanna take away your country. The things they’re doing. All [[Electric vehicles|electric cars]]. Give me a break. If you want an electric car, great. But they don’t go far. They’re very expensive. They gotta be made in China. That’s why I think I’m gonna get the autoworkers to vote for Trump. You know, we’re having great, great talks. But think of what they wanna do. They wanna take away your rights.” **17 January 2024 at a campaign rally in New Hampshire, reported by several sources.<ref name="evdb">{{Cite web |website={{w|The Daily Beast}} |date=2024-01-21 |accessdate=2024-01-21 |title=We Need an Interpreter to Work Out Trump’s ‘Debanking’ Rant |department=The New Abnormal |url=https://www.thedailybeast.com/donald-trumps-debanking-rant-in-new-hampshire-and-electric-cars-makes-no-sense}}</ref><ref name="evmed">{{Cite web |url=https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/huh-trump-declares-they-wanna-de-bank-you-and-we-re-going-to-de-bank/ar-AA1n9KYV |title=Huh? Trump Declares, ‘They Wanna De-Bank You and We’re Going to De-Bank’ |first=Michael |last=Luciano |date=2024-01-18 |accessdate=2024-01-21 |website={{w|Mediaite}}}}</ref> * There is a great man, a great leader in Europe — [[Viktor Orbán|Viktor Orban]] [...] He is the Prime Minister of [[Hungary]]. He is a very great leader, a very strong man. Some people don't like him because he's too strong. **20 January 2024 at a rally in Manchester, New Hampshire, as cited in [https://news.yahoo.com/trump-hails-hungarian-pm-orban-162500247.html "Trump hails Hungarian PM Orban as 'great leader' and 'strong man'], ''Yahoo! News,'' reproduced from The New Voice of Ukraine (21 January 2024) * We have become a drug infested, crime ridden nation which is incapable of solvin’ even the sollest smallest problem. The simplest of problems, we can no longer solve. We can’t do anything. We are an institute in a powerful death penalty. We will put this on. ** [https://www.indy100.com/video/donald-trump-incoherent-sentence-video "Trump utter's incoherent sentence about US not solving 'sollest smallest problem'"], ''Indy 100'' (January 23, 2024) *You know, I had an uncle. He's the longest-serving professor, Doctor John Trump, in the history of MIT, with same genes—we have genes, we're smart people, we're smart people... We're like race—Mr. Lieutenant Governor—we're like racehorses, too. You know, the fast ones produce the fast ones, and the slow ones doesn't work out so well, right? But we're no different in that sense. ** [https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-migrants-bad-genes-1965004 January 2024] ====March 2024==== *There's a lot of good and there's a lot of bad with TikTok, but the thing I don't like is that without TikTok, you're going to make Facebook bigger, and I consider Facebook to be an enemy of the people, along with a lot of the media. I'm not looking to make Facebook double the size. I think Facebook has been very bad for our country. **11 March 2024 per [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-reversal-tiktok-ban-says-facebook-enemy-of-people/ CBS article by Jacob Rosen] * They call it BleachBit, but it’s essentially acid that will destroy everything, you know, within ten miles. **13 March 2024 about a computer software program, quoted in [https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-still-seems-to-think-hillary-clinton-used-acid-to-delete-emails "Trump STILL Seems to Think Hillary Clinton Used Acid to Delete Emails"], ''The Daily Beast'' * People who are coming from parts unknown, countries that you’ve never heard of. Languages that nobody in this country speaks. We don’t even have teachers of some of these languages. Who would think that we have languages that are like from the planet Mars? Nobody, nobody, knows how to, you know, speak it. **25 March 2024 [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/donald-trump-out-of-this-world-claim_n_65e6de3ee4b0170871fb9275 "Donald Trump Dragged To The Moon Over New Interplanetary Dog Whistle"], ''Huffington Post'' ====April 2024==== *I called [Bill Bar] him ‘Weak, Slow Moving, Lethargic, Gutless, and Lazy,Based on the fact that I greatly appreciate his wholehearted Endorsement, I am removing the word ‘Lethargic’ from my statement. **25 April 2024 per [https://web.archive.org/web/20240426044532/https://gazette.com/news/wex/bill-barr-endorses-trump-despite-past-criticism/article_1c59037c-c234-5540-be2e-8a5e59bf3ad9.html archive of The Gazette] ====May 2024==== *These people are running a Gestapo administration,And it’s the only thing they have. And it’s the only way they’re going to win in their opinion. Once I got indicted, I said well, now the gloves have to come off,If you care too much, you tend to choke. And in a way, I don’t care. It’s just you know, life is life. **4 May 2024 per [https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/trump-biden-administration-gestapo-private-donor-event-rcna150743 NBC writers] Burns/Brooks/Sonnier/Gomez/Terkel * We will make [[America]] ''[[powerful]]'' again. <br /> We will make America ''[[wealthy]]'' again. <br /> We will make America ''[[strong]]'' again. <br /> We will make America [[proud]] again. <br /> We will make America ''[[safe]]'' again. <br /> ''We will make America [[great]] again!'' ** [https://www.instagram.com/realdonaldtrump/reel/C7Z3M8Kudxd/?hl=en Presidential campaign slogans, Bronx, NY (25 May 2024)] * If he wins, our country is going to be destroyed. * He’s a demented tyrant. ** Claimed about President of the United States of America Joe Biden, quoted in [https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2024/05/politics-fear-itself-trump-maga/678311/ "The Politics of Fear Itself"], ''The Atlantic'' (May 7, 2024) * Our cities are choking to death. Our states are dying. And frankly, our country is dying. ** [https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2024/05/politics-fear-itself-trump-maga/678311/ "The Politics of Fear Itself"], ''The Atlantic'' (May 7, 2024) *I have been indicted more than the great Al Capone, on bullshit. **11 May 2024 per [https://www.insidernj.com/trump-delusionary-in-new-jersey/ InsiderNJ] writer Max Pizarro * Has anyone ever seen ''[[The Silence of the Lambs (film)|The Silence of the Lambs]]''? The late, great Hannibal Lecter. He's a wonderful man. He oftentimes would have a friend for dinner. **11 May 2024 from a speech in Wildwood, N.J. per [https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2024/05/13/trump-hannibal-lecter-immigration/ Washington Post], as cited 16 May 2024 in [https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/16/opinion/donald-trump-hannibal-lecter.html "When Donald Trump Met Hannibal Lecter"], ''The New York Times'' *I know we won (Minnesota) in 2020. We've got to be careful. We've got to watch those votes. ** 17 May 2024 during an address to the Minnesota Republican Party's annual Lincoln-Reagan Dinner in St. Paul per [https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/elections/2024/05/18/donald-trump-minnesota-election/73747544007/ Donald Trump falsely tells supporters he won Minnesota in 2020], ''USA Today'' *'''Before I even arrive at the Oval Office''', shortly after we win the presidency, I will have the horrible war between Russia and Ukraine settled, and we will restore, as we had just four years ago, peace through strength. They respected our country and they respected your President. **18 May 2024 in Dallas, Texas in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgl06asFsXc speech to NRA aired on Fox], transcribed [https://www.rev.com/blog/transcripts/donald-trump-speaks-at-nra-convention 20 May 2024] ***Trump had previously used the "before I even arrive at the Oval Office" phrase in [[#May 2023]] and would again use it in Philadelphia the following month in [[#June 2024]] *And if you vote for me, on Day One, I will commute the sentence of [[Ross Ulbricht]] **20 May 2024 (Saturday night) at Libertarian National Convention, reported in [https://www.politico.com/news/2024/05/25/trump-commute-ross-ulbricht-sentence-libertarian-convention-00160025 25 May 2024 article] by Peter Shaefer of Politico *It boiled down to something that was very beautiful, the way it happened, and I got along with him very well.<br>He respected me, I respected him.<br>Very smart guy, very strong guy **28 May 2024 about Kim Jong-Un, dictator in North Korea, cited in [https://newrepublic.com/post/181993/trump-brags-beautiful-relationship-cruel-dictator-kim-jong-un "Watch: Trump’s Disgusting Praise for “Beautiful” Bond with Kim Jong Un"], ''New Republic'' *We have a country that’s in big trouble, but this was a rigged decision right from day one, with a conflicted judge who should have never been allowed to try this case, And we’ll keep fighting we’ll fight till the end and we’ll win because our country has gone to hell. We don’t have the same country anymore. We have a divided mess. We’re a nation in decline, serious decline, millions and millions of people pouring into our country right now, from prisons and from mental institutions terrorists, and they’re taking over our country, real verdict would come in November. **30 May 2024 from [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/donald-trump-reaction-guilty-verdict-new-york-criminal-trial/ Melissa Quinn of CBS] and [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/donald-trump-jury-reaction-hush-money-trial-b2554187.html Ariana Baio of The Independent] * Our witnesses were literally crucified by this man who looks like an angel, but he is really a devil. **31 May 2024 [https://x.com/Acyn/status/1796560554359996767 tweet by Acyn] shows footage of Trump saying this about Judge [[Juan Merchan]], after Trump was found guilty in concealing payment of hush money to adult film performer Stormy Daniels, cited in [https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/trump-ridiculed-over-literally-crucified-trial-witness-claim_uk_665c277be4b00474bee95ad7 "Social Media Mocks Trump's Claim That Trial Witnesses Were 'Literally Crucified'"], ''Huffington Post'' (June 02, 2024) ====June 2024==== *Don’t forget, if it weren’t me, they’d be going after somebody else. And I know a lot of the competition, They wouldn’t be doing so well right now. They’d be saying, ‘Mommy, take me home, I want to go home. **2 June 2024 cited in [https://www.politico.com/news/2024/06/02/trump-biden-heat-2024-elections-00161168 Politico article] by Mia McCarthy *Wouldn't it be terrible to throw the President's wife and the former Secretary of State into jail? Wouldn't that be a terrible thing? But they wanna do it! It's a terrible, terrible, path that they're leading us to & it's very possible that it's going to have to happen to them. **5 June 2024 per [https://www.newsnationnow.com/politics/trump-suggests-political-opponents-could-face-prosecution/ NewsNationNow article] by Brett Samuels of The Hill *[<i>Rachel Campos-Duffy:</i>] Would you declassify the 9/11 files?<br>[<i>Donald Trump:</i>] Yeah.<br>[<i>Campos-Duffy:</i>] Would you declassify the JFK files?<br>[<i>Trump:</i>] Yeah. I did a lot of it.<br>[<i>Campos-Duffy:</i>] Would you declassify the Epstein files?<br>[<i>Trump:</i>] Yeah. Yeah, I would. I guess I would. I think that less so because, you know, you don't know — you don't want to affect people's lives if it's phony stuff in there, because it's a lot of phony stuff with that whole world. **During an appearance on Fox & Friends Weekend, quoted in [https://www.hindustantimes.com/world-news/us-news/donald-trump-panics-when-asked-if-hed-declassify-epstein-documents-netizens-wonder-what-is-he-afraid-of-101717671792541.html Donald Trump ‘panics’ when asked if he'd declassify Epstein documents, netizens wonder ‘what is he afraid of?’] ''Hindustan Times'' (June 6, 2024)[https://www.rev.com/transcripts/donald-trump-interview-on-the-will-cain-show] *Those J6 warriors — they were warriors — but they were really, more than anything else, they’re victims of what happened... All they were doing is protesting a rigged election. That’s what they were doing. **9 June 2024 [https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4713140-trump-calls-j6-defendants-warriors/ "Trump calls Jan. 6 defendants ‘warriors’"] * I don't care about you. I just want your vote. **10 June 2024 [https://lamag.com/politics/i-dont-care-about-you-i-just-want-your-vote-trump-says-at-his-latest-rally "Trump to Nevada: ’I Don't Care About You... I Just Want Your Vote’"], Los Angeles Magazine * So I said, ‘Let me ask you a question. Nobody ever asked this question. And it must be because of MIT. My relationship to MIT. Very smart. I say, What would happen if the boat sank from its weight? And you’re in the boat and you have this tremendously powerful battery, and the battery is now underwater, and there’s a shark that’s approximately 10 yards over there. By the way, a lot of shark attacks lately. You notice that? A lot of shark. I watch some guys justifying it today. ‘Well, they weren’t really that angry. They bit off the young lady’s leg because of the fact that they were — they were not hungry, but they misunderstood what - who she was.’ These people are crazy. ‘There’s no problem with sharks. They just didn’t really understand a young woman swimming. No really got decimated and other people too, a lot of shark attacks. So I said, ‘So there’s a shark 10 yards away from the boat, 10 yards or here. Do I get electrocuted? If the boat is sinking, water goes over the battery, the boat is sinking. Do I stay on top of the boat and get electrocuted? Or do I jump over by the shark and not get electrocuted? ‘You know, nobody’s ever asked me that question.’ I said, ‘I think it’s a good question. I think there’s a lot of electric current coming through that water.’ But you know what I’d do if there was a shark or you get electrocuted? I’ll take electrocution every single time. I’m not getting near the shark! **10 June 2024 [https://newrepublic.com/post/182494/cognitive-decline-trump-rant-batteries "Cognitive Decline? Trump Short-Circuits During Bonkers Rant"], The New Republic *before I even arrive at the Oval Office, shortly after we win the presidency **22 June 2024 rally in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, quoted in a 2 July 2024 [https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2024/07/02/nato-second-trump-term-00164517 Politico article] by Michael Hirsh ***Trump had previously used the phrase "before I even arrive at the Oval Office" in [[#March 2023]], and also used it in a May 2024 speech to the NRA the previous month *I'm not rambling. **23 June 2024 [https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/his-brains-are-pudding-internet-mocks-trump-for-incoherent-defense-of-rambling-rant/ar-BB1oHYc9?item=flightsprg-tipsubsc-v1a?loadin=defaultbrowser "'His brains are pudding': Internet mocks Trump for 'incoherent' defense of 'rambling' rant"], MSN *But I will tell you that would have never happened [if I was president]. Ukraine would have never happened. The israeli attack would have never happened and inflation would have never happened. Those are three big things. Inflation would have never happened.<br>No, I wouldn't support a national ban [on abortion]. No, I would not. **20 June 2024 [https://deepcast.fm/episode/46167/in-conversation-with-president-trump#quotes/ "In conversation with President Trump", on All-In with Chamath, Jason, Sacks & Friedberg, found on DeepCast] * I want you to remember what they did to me. They tortured me in the Fulton County Jail, and TOOK MY MUGSHOT. So guess what? I put it on a mug for the WHOLE WORLD TO SEE! **24 June 2024 [https://www.newsmax.com/newsfront/donald-trump-georgia-fundraising/2024/06/24/id/1169939/ "Trump Fundraising Email: I Was 'Tortured' in Jail"], Newsmax * If I took this shirt off, you would see a beautiful beautiful person. But you would see wounds all over. I’ve taken a lot of wounds I can tell you. More than I suspect any president ever. **24 June 2024 [https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/donald-trump-talks-taking-off-105630724.html "Donald Trump Talks About Taking Off His Shirt To Show 'Wounds.' Internet Can't Even."], Yahoo News *Israel is the one. And you should let them go and let them go finish the job. He doesn’t want to do it. He’s become like a Palestinian, but hey, don’t like him because he’s a very bad Palestinian. He’s a weak one. **27 June 2024 per [https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4744809-donald-trump-joe-biden-debate-palestine-israel/ The Hill article] by Brett Samuels *If we had a real president, a president that knew -- that was respected by Putin ... he would have never invaded Ukraine. **27 June 2024 debate with Joe Biden, cited [https://www.ctvnews.ca/world/trump-says-he-can-end-the-russia-ukraine-war-in-one-day-russia-s-un-ambassador-says-he-can-t-1.6947744 1 July 2024] by Edith Lederer *I really don't know what he said at the end of that sentence. I don't think he knows what he said either. **About Joe Biden. [https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4744753-trump-jabs-biden-really-dont-know-what-he-said/ Presidential debate], June 27, 2024 ====July 2024==== * I know nothing about [[Project 2025]]. * I disagree with some of the things they’re saying and some of the things they’re saying are absolutely ridiculous and abysmal. ** Claimed on July 5, 2024, quoted in: ::* [https://edition.cnn.com/2024/07/11/politics/trump-allies-project-2025/index.html "Trump claims not to know who is behind Project 2025. A CNN review found at least 140 people who worked for him are involved"], ''CNN'' (July 11, 2024) ::* [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/russell-vought-project-2025-centre-for-climate-reporting_n_66be3e85e4b04090eac4512c "Project 2025 Co-Author Says Donald Trump ‘Very Supportive Of What We Do’"], ''Huffington Post'' (August 15, 2024) *It was God alone who prevented the unthinkable from happening...In this moment, it is more important than ever that we stand United, and show our True Character as Americans, remaining Strong and Determined, and not allowing Evil to Win **14 July 2024 [https://www.ndtv.com/world-news/it-was-god-alone-who-prevented-the-unthinkable-trump-on-assassination-attempt-6104182 per NDTV] *By luck or by God, many people are saying it’s by God I’m still here.<br>The agents hit me so hard that my shoes fell off, and my shoes are tight.<br>I had all prepared an extremely tough speech, really good, all about the corrupt, horrible administration. But I threw it away. I want to try to unite our country. **14 July 2024 cited by [https://nypost.com/2024/07/14/us-news/grateful-defiant-trump-recounts-surreal-assassination-attempt-at-rally-im-supposed-to-be-dead/ NY Post] writer Michael Goodwin and [https://www.politico.com/news/2024/07/15/trump-assassination-attempt-rnc-speech-00168251 Politico] writer Isabella Ramirez * Kamala even wants to pass laws to outlaw RED MEAT to stop climate change. * You know what that means? That means no more cows. * I guess eventually she’s gonna mean no more people. Right? No more people. ** Claimed on July 25, 2024, without providing evidence, quoted in [https://www.yahoo.com/news/fact-check-kamala-harris-does-not-want-to-ban-red-meat-as-trump-keeps-falsely-claiming-204515645.html "Fact check: ​​Kamala Harris does not want to ban red meat as Trump keeps falsely claiming"], ''Yahoo News'' (August 1, 2024) * And then the [Kamala Harris] campaign says, 'I'm the prosecutor and he is the convicted felon.' **25 July 2024 [https://www.comicsands.com/harris-trump-ad-prosecutor-felon-2668815011.html# "Kamala Harris Uses 6-Second Clip Of Trump Telling The Truth About Her Campaign In New Ad—And It's Gold"], ''Comic Sands'' *They say something happened to me when I got shot. I became nice.<br>If you don't mind, I'm not going to be nice. Is that okay?<br>If border czar Harris is in charge, every week they'll bring in a neverending stream of illegal aliens, rapists, blood thirsty killers, child murderers to go after our sons and our daughters.<br>Everything Kamala touches turns into a total disaster. **25 July 2024 claims about US Vice President [[Kamala Harris]] at a sports arena in Charlotte, cited in [https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13664627/donald-trump-Charlotte-north-carolina-kamala-harris.html "Donald Trump turns his attention to 'radical left lunatic' Kamala Harris in first rally since Biden dropped out"], ''Daily Mail'' *We have a new victim now, Kamala. A brand new victim, and honestly she’s a radical left lunatic. When you find out about her, all I have to say is defund the police,Three months ago, she was thought of so badly, [the media] were just killing her. And now they’re trying to make her into a, let’s say, Margaret Thatcher. I don’t think so. It’s not going to happen. Margaret Thatcher didn’t laugh like that. Did she? **27 July 2024 in [https://www.politico.com/news/2024/07/27/trump-harris-minnesota-rally-shooting-00171526 Politico article] by Myah Ward *I pledge to the bitcoin community, that the day I take the oath of office, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris’ anti-crypto crusade will be over. On day one, I will fire Gary Gensler. **date unknown, [https://www.ft.com/content/03e8e1d2-4244-4eba-9248-9bbd8d1b0090 Financial Times article] *You won't have to do it anymore. Four more years, you know what, it will be fixed, it will be fine, you won't have to vote anymore, my beautiful Christians...I love you Christians. I'm a Christian. I love you, get out, you gotta get out and vote. '''In four years, you don't have to vote again, we'll have it fixed so good you're not going to have to vote.''' **27 July 2024 in a speech to Turning Point Action in West Palm Beach, Florida, quote from the Reuters article [https://www.reuters.com/world/us/trump-tells-christians-they-wont-have-vote-after-this-election-2024-07-27/ "Trump tells Christians they won't have to vote after this election"] by Tim Reid *I thought she was a little younger, but she's 60 **29 July 2024 about Kamala Harris, cited in [https://www.rawstory.com/donald-trump-2668835186/ "She'll 'destroy the country': Trump rambles about Kamala Harris in new Fox News interview"], ''RawStory'' ***Kamala Harris was born 20 October 1964 so would not turn sixty until 20 October 2024, two weeks prior to the upcoming election - she was actually 59 years 9 months old when he said this *I’m not so sure which is better. But she either likes or loves me. And that’s nice. **30 July 2024 about his wife Melania Trump, cited in [https://www.mercurynews.com/2024/07/30/trump-thinks-melania-either-likes-or-loves-him-following-assassination-attempt/ "Trump thinks Melania ‘either likes or loves’ him following assassination attempt"], ''Mercury News'' * Perverts and losers **30 July 2024 describing members of the Lincoln Project, an organisation of moderate conservatives who oppose Trump and trumpism. Quoted in [https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-rages-republicans-campaigning-lincoln-project-1849509 "Donald Trump Rages at Republicans Campaigning Against Him"], ''Newsweek'' * She doesn’t like Jewish people. You know it, I know it and everybody knows it and nobody wants to say it. **30 July 2024 claimed about US Vice President Kamala Harris, who is married to a Jewish husband. Quoted in [https://www.timesofisrael.com/liveblog_entry/trump-claims-harris-doesnt-like-jews-seems-to-agree-with-calling-her-husband-a-crappy-jew/ "Trump claims Harris ‘doesn’t like Jews,’ seems to agree with calling her husband ‘a crappy Jew’"], ''Times of Israel'' * If you are Jewish, regardless of Israel, if you’re Jewish, if you vote for a Democrat, you’re a fool, an absolute fool. **30 July 2024 [https://www.thedailybeast.com/donald-trump-agrees-with-radio-host-who-calls-doug-emhoff-a-crappy-jew "Trump Agrees With Radio Host Who Calls Emhoff a ‘Crappy Jew’"], ''The Daily Beast'' * So I've known her a long time - indirectly, not directly very much - and she was always of Indian heritage. And she was only promoting Indian heritage. I didn't know she was Black until a number of years ago when she happened to turn Black. And now she wants to be known as Black. So I don't know, is she Indian or is she Black? **31 July 2024 about Kamala Harris, whose mother was a biologist from India and father is an emeritus professor of economics at Stanford University, originating from Jamaica. Quoted in [https://www.nbcchicago.com/dnc-chicago-2024/all-of-a-sudden-trump-tells-black-journalists-in-chicago-that-kamala-harris-turned-black/3507125/ "‘All of a sudden': Trump tells Black journalists in Chicago Kamala Harris ‘turned Black'"], ''NBC Chicago'' * I don't want pronouns. **31 July 2024 [https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/donald-trump-gets-basic-english-123624171.html "Donald Trump Gets Basic English Lesson After Ridiculous Comment About His ‘Pronouns’"], ''Huffington Post / Yahoo Entertainment'' * A Black job is anybody that has a job. **31 July 2024 [https://www.cnbc.com/2024/07/31/trump-black-journalist-convention-nabj.html "Trump questions if Harris is Black, downplays Vance pick at Black journalists convention"], ''CNBC'' ====August 2024==== * That’s a weird deal going on there. They’re the weird ones. Nobody’s ever called me weird. I’m a lot of things, but weird I’m not.<br>You notice the evening news, every one of them, you know, they introduced the word ‘weird’, and all of a sudden they’re talking about ‘weird’. No, we’re not weird people. We’re actually just the opposite. We’re right down the middle.<br>No, we're not weird. We're very solid people. We want to have strong borders. We want to have good elections. They’re the weird ones. **1 August 2024 [https://time.com/7009800/donald-trump-responds-weird-label-jd-vance-tim-walz-commentary/ Time] and [https://www.thedailybeast.com/donald-trump-stop-calling-jd-vance-and-me-weird "Donald Trump: Stop Calling Me and J.D. Vance ‘Weird’"], ''The Daily Beast'' * 24 HOURS UNTIL WE UNLEASH HELL. At this time tomorrow, Crooked Kamala’s worst nightmares come true.<br>Tomorrow I step on stage and deliver Open Border Czar Kamala Harris the WORST defeat of her failed political career.<br> **2 August 2024 campaign e-mail from Trump, cited in [https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4808393-trump-unleash-hell-atlanta-rally-harris/ "Trump vows to ‘unleash hell’ on Harris at Atlanta rally"], ''The Hill'' *This one is so smart, so sharp. She grabbed me. She gave me a kiss. I said "I think I'm never going back home to the first lady." See now for the average politician, that's death. For me, I don't care. **4 August 2024 about [[Michaelah Montgomery]] at a rally in Georgia about an incident earlier in 2024, cited in [https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13707347/donald-trump-georgia-rally-activist-michaelah-montgomery.html "Trump's risqué remark to young activist who went viral for hugging him at Chick-fil-A after he invited her on stage at rally - as she makes VERY personal dig at Kamala"], ''Daily Mail'' * I’m for electric cars. I have to be, you know, because Elon endorsed me very strongly. So I have no choice. **5 August 2024 [https://www.benzinga.com/news/24/08/40154264/trump-says-electric-cars-are-fantastic-after-tesla-ceo-elon-musks-endorsement-i-have-to-be-you-know "Trump Says Electric Cars Are 'Fantastic' After Tesla CEO Elon Musk's Endorsement: 'I Have To Be, You Know… I Have No Choice'"], ''Benzinga'' * Kamabla Harris is afraid to Debate me on FoxNews **6 August 2024 cited in [https://www.yahoo.com/news/donald-trump-pathetic-way-attacking-120711256.html "Donald Trump’s ‘Pathetic’ New Way Of Attacking Kamala Harris Is Slammed Online"], ''Yahoo News / Huffington Post'' * What are the chances that Crooked Joe Biden, the WORST President in the history of the U.S., whose Presidency was Unconstitutionally STOLEN from him by Kamabla, Barrack HUSSEIN Obama, Crazy Nancy Pelosi, Shifty Adam Schiff, Cryin' Chuck Schumer, and others on the Lunatic Left, CRASHES the Democrat National Convention and tries to take back the Nomination, beginning with challenging me to another DEBATE. He feels that he made a historically tragic mistake by handing over the U.S. Presidency, a COUP, to the people in the World he most hates, and he wants it back, NOW!!! ** 6 August 2024 Cited in [https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-suggests-biden-may-try-take-back-nomination-1935550 "Donald Trump Suggests Biden May Try to 'Take Back The Nomination'"], ''Newsweek'' * Crazy Kamabla is, indeed, CRAZY. I HEAR THERE IS A BIG MOVEMENT TO “BRING BACK CROOKED JOE". ** 6 August 2024 Cited in [https://www.indy100.com/politics/trump/trump-truth-social-biden-walz "Trump shares outrageous Biden prediction in baffling Truth Social rant"], ''Indy100'' * If you look at Caracas, it was known for being a very dangerous city and now it's very safe. In fact, the next interview we do, we'll do it in Caracas, Venezuela, because it's safer than many of our cities. ** 6 August 2024 [https://www.miaminewtimes.com/news/trump-says-caracas-venezuela-is-safer-than-many-us-cities-20962070 "Trump Says Caracas Is 'Safer Than Many of Our Cities'"], ''Miami New Times'' *I heard she's sort of a nasty person.<br>She doesn't do interviews 'cause she can't answer questions. **7 August 2024 about Vice President of the United States of America, Kamala Harris, cited in [https://newrepublic.com/post/184640/donald-trump-kamala-harris-attacks "Trump’s Latest Desperate Kamala Attacks Fall Hilariously Flat"], ''The New Republic'' * A ticket that would want this country to go communist immediately, if not sooner.<br>We’re gonna be living like dogs. Our whole country, our whole system, is gonna collapse. **7 August 2024 about [[Tim Walz]], cited in [https://voz.us/en/politics/240807/15242/trump-on-the-election-of-walz-ticket-that-would-want-this-country-to-go-communist-immediately-if-not-sooner.html "Trump, on the selection of Walz: 'A ticket that would want this country to go communist immediately, if not sooner'"], ''Voz'' (August 7, 2024) *Kim Jong Un liked me a lot. He doesn't like this group [the Harris campaign] **8 August 2024 cited in [https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/trump-press-conference-mar-a-lago-updates.html "Trump Agrees to Debate Harris at Rambling Press Conference: How It Happened"], ''New York Magazine'' * I’ve spoken to the biggest crowds. Nobody’s spoken to crowds bigger than me. If you look at Martin Luther King when he did his speech, his great speech, and you look at ours, same real estate, same everything, same number of people, if not we had more. And they said he had a million people, but I had 25,000 people.<br>Nobody was killed on Jan. 6.<br>The presidency was taken away from Joe Biden, and I’m no Biden fan, but I tell you what, from a constitutional standpoint, from any standpoint you look at, they took the presidency away.<br>Twenty million people came over the border during the Biden-Harris administration — 20 million people — and it could be very much higher than that. Nobody really knows. **9 August 2024 quoted in [https://apnews.com/article/trump-news-conference-fact-check-misinformation-eb899c1fc734f5ecb42b8d0902e5c004 "FACT FOCUS: A look at claims made by Trump at news conference"], ''AP News'' *Christie, he’s eating right now. He can’t be bothered.<br>Sir, please do not call him a fat pig, that’s very disrespect.<br>See, I’m trying to be nice. Don’t call him a fat pig. You can’t do that.<br>I was extremely respectful of Sloppy Chris Christie today in New Hampshire. During a speech in front of a large crowd of Patriots, somebody shouted out that "Chris Christie is a fat pig." Rather than acknowleding that, which many speakers would have done, I said "No, No, he is not a fat pig." I'm sure Chris would have been very happy with my defense of him! **10 August 2024 [[Chris Christie]], cited in [https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2023/08/trump-is-pretending-he-didnt-call-chris-christie-fat-pig.html "Trump Is Pretending He Didn’t Call Christie a ‘Fat Pig’"], ''Intelligencer'' (August 10, 2024) *Has anyone noticed that Kamala CHEATED at the airport? There was nobody at the plane, and she ‘A.I.’d’ it, and showed a massive ‘crowd’ of so-called followers, BUT THEY DIDN’T EXIST! **10 August 2024 cited in [https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2024/08/trump-claims-ai-images-kamala-harris-rallies/679445/ "Trump’s Latest Falsehood Is a Huge Tell"], ''The Atlantic'' *She’s a CHEATER. She had NOBODY waiting, and the ‘crowd’ looked like 10,000 people! Same thing is happening with her fake ‘crowds’ at her speeches. This is the way the Democrats win Elections, by CHEATING ‒ And they’re even worse at the Ballot Box. She should be disqualified because the creation of a fake image is ELECTION INTERFERENCE. Anyone who does that will cheat at ANYTHING!<br>EVERYTHING ABOUT KAMALA IS FAKE! **12 August 2024, cited in [https://eu.usatoday.com/story/opinion/columnist/2024/08/12/trump-harris-rally-crowd-ai-conspiracy-theory/74763568007/ "Trump blames Harris' crowds on AI, so let's all assume everything we don't like is fake!"], ''USA Today'' *The worst president in history. And one of the reasons he was so bad, first of all, the Israeli attack would have never happened. Russia would never have attacked Ukraine and we'd have no inflation. And we wouldn't have had the Afghanistan mess if you think of it.<br>Now she's looking like she wants to be more Trump than Trump if that's possible.She wants to have open borders. And now she's going like she's tough on the border. It's such a lie. **12 August 2024 in [https://turboscribe.ai/transcript/share/4422534834081521519/HWE18owsC2u8E5u2HpZNikyBdermlV2YSwGlTEPKJJw/donald-trump-and-elon-musk-full-transcript-august-12-2024-https-x-com-i-spaces-1nakepnklwoxl TurboScribe article] *The ocean is going to rise one-eighth of an inch over the next 400 years. **13 August 2024 about sea level rise, which is currently at 4 mm (5/32") per year with an accelerating trend. Quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/article/2024/aug/12/trump-elon-musk-interview "Trump revisits most divisive talking points in rambling interview with Musk"], The Guardian *The biggest threat is nuclear warming. **13 August 2024 quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/article/2024/aug/12/trump-elon-musk-interview "Trump revisits most divisive talking points in rambling interview with Musk"], The Guardian *"I said to Vladimir Putin, I said, 'Don't do it. You can't do it, Vladimir, you do it, it's going to be a bad day. You cannot do it.' And I told him things that what I do. And he said, 'No way.' And I said, 'way.' And, you know, it's the last time we ever had the conversation. **13 August 2024 in [https://www.politico.eu/article/trump-zelenskyy-eu-freewheeling-musk-interview/ Politco article] *You’re the greatest cutter,...I need an Elon Musk — I need somebody that has a lot of strength and courage and smarts. I want to close up the Department of Education, move education back to the states. **13 August 2024 in [https://apnews.com/article/donald-trump-elon-musk-x-twitter-livestream-83d6d07fc0ffef4151c96fc56aeec9ee AP News article] *Iran is no friend of mine, a lot of bad signals get sent.The reason is because I was strong on Iran and I was protecting people in the Middle East that maybe they aren’t so happy about that. **14 August 2024 per [https://www.politico.com/news/2024/08/14/trump-iran-hack-campaign-00174002 political article] *Kamala has declared that tackling inflation will be a Day One priority, but Day One for Kamala was 3½ years ago. Why hasn’t she done it? .‌‌.‌‌She's a critic. That's all she is. **14 August 2024 per [https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2024-election/trumps-economy-speech-veers-personal-attacks-harris-biden-rcna166652 NBC News article] * Can I hang our picture together in Mar-a-Lago?<br>I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO MEET YOU! Chris, can we take a picture during our all-expenses-paid trip together? I already have the PERFECT spot picked out in Mar-a-Lago to show it off! * MEET TRUMP! ENTER TO WIN **14 August 2024 mass E-mail sent out to a large number of people. [https://politicalemails.org/messages/1521460 "Can I hang our picture together in Mar-a-Lago?"], PoliticalEmails.com (August 14, 2024) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBudZMFvcvY&t=115s "Trump Goes TOTALLY NUTS as his ENTIRE LIFE COLLAPSES"], ''MeidasTouch'' (August 14, 2024) *Miriam, I watched (Sheldon Adelson, her late husband) sitting so proud in the White House when we gave Miriam the Presidential Medal of Freedom. That’s the highest award you can get as a civilian, it’s the equivalent of the Congressional Medal of Honor, but civilian version. It’s actually much better, because everyone gets the Congressional Medal of Honor – that’s soldiers. They’re either in very bad shape because they’ve been hit so many times by bullets, or they’re dead. She gets it and she’s a healthy, beautiful woman, and they’re rated equal. **15 August 2024 [https://www.cnn.com/2024/08/16/politics/trump-medal-of-honor/index.html Trump says civilian award is ‘much better’ than Medal of Honor] * We’re talking about a thing called the economy.<br>We’re doing this as an intellectual speech.<br>We literally are a third world nation, we literally are a third-world nation. We’re a banana republic in so many ways, and we’re not going to let that happen because we’re starting a free fall.<br>For nearly four years Kamala has crackled as the American economy has burned.<br>What happened to her laugh? I haven’t heard that laugh in about a week. That’s why they keep her off the stage, that’s why she has disappeared.<br>That’s the laugh of a crazy person, I will tell you. She’s crazy.<br>Incompetent socialist lunatic.<br>Kamabla.<br>Rape and murder, rape and beatings, rape and something else, and sometimes just immediate killing. These people are brutal. These are people that came out of the toughest jails anywhere in the world from all over the world, and we can’t take them. **16 August 2024 per [https://eu.usatoday.com/story/opinion/columnist/2024/08/14/trump-rally-north-carolina-rambling-economy-harris-crime/74798514007/ "Trump's North Carolina speech went predictably off the rails. Can he even spell 'economy'?"], ''USA today'' * I think I’m entitled to personal attacks.<br>Now you’ll say he ranted and raved […] I’m a very calm person, believe it or not. **16 August 2024 from [https://edition.cnn.com/2024/08/16/politics/trump-fury-harris-switch-campaign-analysis/index.html "Trump’s fury over Harris’ switch with Biden is increasingly driving his campaign"], ''CNN'' * She actually called me ‘weird. And she called JD and I ‘weird.’ He’s not weird, he was a great student at Yale.<br>We have this guy that’s running a failed, really a very failed state who’s had a terrible career. I mean you have him saying, ‘They’re weird.’ No, he’s a weird guy, and she’s weird in her policy. **16 August 2024 claim about Vice President of the USA Kamala Harris and Governor of Minnesota Tim Walz, quoted in [https://sg.news.yahoo.com/trump-denies-jd-vance-weird-040509909.html "Trump Denies He And JD Vance Are Weird In The Weirdest Way Possible"], ''Yahoo News / Huffington Post'' *I watched Sheldon sitting so proud in the White House when we gave Miriam the '''Presidential Medal of Freedom'''.<br>That's the highest award you can get as a civilian.<br>'''It's the equivalent of the Congressional Medal of Honor, but civilian''' version.<br>It's actually much better because everyone gets the Congressional Medal of Honor, they're soldiers.<br>They're either in very bad shape because they've been hit so many times by bullets or they are dead.<br>She gets it and she's a healthy, beautiful woman.<br>And they're '''rated equal''', but she got the Presidential Medal of Freedom. ** [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-medal-of-freedom-medal-of-honor/ "Trump says Medal of Freedom "equivalent" to and "much better" than Medal of Honor, sparking backlash from veterans"] ''CBS News'' (August 16, 2024) *Kamala will implement SOVIET Style Price Controls. EVERY American will be taxed up to 80% of their income!<br>If Kamala is elected and implements her Communist Price Caps, there will be famine, starvation, and poverty, the likes of which we have never seen. America will NEVER recover!<br>Kamala Harris wants to raise your taxes and make you pay for free healthcare and free housing in luxury hotels for her millions of illegal aliens. **16 August 2024 quoted in [https://www.rawstory.com/kamala-harris-vs-trump-2668979250/ "Donald Trump rants that 'famine' will come to America if Kamala Harris is elected"], ''RawStory'' *Starting the day I take the oath of office, I will rapidly drive prices down, and we will make America affordable again. **17 August 2024 At a rally in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, quoted in [https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/trump-claims-continues-personal-attacks-harris/story?id=112921505 Trump claims he's 'better looking,' continues personal attacks toward Harris] ''ABC News'' *I am much better looking than her. I’m a better looking person than Kamala.<br>I say that I’m much better looking than her. I had never heard that one. They said her biggest advantage was that she’s a beautiful-looking woman. Ha. I’d never thought of that.<br>I said, who am I running against, Harris? I said, ‘Who the hell is Harris?'<br>Joe Biden hates her.<br>They will say he’s rambling. I don’t ramble. I’m a really smart guy, **18 August 2024 per [https://www.thedailybeast.com/donald-trump-im-better-looking-than-kamala-and-dont-say-i-ramble "Trump: ‘I’m Better Looking than Kamala—and Don’t Say I Ramble’"], ''The Daily Beast'' *You know, he said we’re weird. That J.D. and I are weird. I think we’re extremely normal people. We’re like you, we’re exactly like you.<br>He [Tim Walz] is weird. Did you ever see him go on the stage and go, like, crazy? Between his movement and her laugh, there’s a lot of crazy. I’d say a step further than weird, weird is a nice word by comparison. **19 August 2024 to a small crowd in York, Pennsylvania, quoted in [https://www.yahoo.com/news/trump-insists-extremely-normal-during-204337061.html "Trump Insists He’s “Extremely Normal” During Incredibly Weird Speech"], ''Yahoo News / The New Republic'' *Prices will come down. You just watch: They’ll come down, and they’ll come down fast, not only with insurance, with everything…. Prices will come down and come down dramatically and come down fast. **20 August 2024 from a recent speech in Asheville, North Carolina, quoted in [https://www.cnn.com/2024/08/20/business/trump-inflation-prices-deflation/index.html Trump promises to make prices plunge again. That’s a dangerous proposal] ''CNN'' *You can’t walk across the street to get a loaf of bread. You get shot, you get mugged, you get raped, you get whatever it may be. **21 August 2024 at a rally in Howell, Michigan, quoted in [https://ca.news.yahoo.com/trumps-latest-claim-crime-real-224038664.html "Trump's Latest Claim About Crime Is A Real Doozy"], ''Yahoo News / Huffington Post'' * That was a coup, it was a vicious violent overthrow of a president of the United States. **20 August 2024 about [[Joe Biden]] pulling out of the 2024 presidential election, quoted in [https://ktrh.iheart.com/featured/houston-texas-news/content/2024-08-20-trump-counters-dnc-with-rally-in-michigan-that-was-a-coup/ "Trump Counters DNC With Rally In Michigan - "That Was A Coup""], ''KTRH Local Houston and Texas News'' *We have a fool as a president. **20 August 2024 cited in [https://ktrh.iheart.com/featured/houston-texas-news/content/2024-08-20-trump-counters-dnc-with-rally-in-michigan-that-was-a-coup/ "Trump Counters DNC With Rally In Michigan - "That Was A Coup""], ''KTRH Local Houston and Texas News'' *I think that women living in the suburbs—I keep hearing about ‘the suburban woman doesn’t like Trump,’ well, I think it’s a fake poll because why wouldn’t they like me? I keep the suburbs safe. **202 August 2024 during a rally in a garage in Howell, Michigan, quoted in [https://newrepublic.com/post/185085/donald-trump-derails-speech-crime-complain-women "Trump Derails Weird Speech on Crime to Complain Women Hate Him"], ''New Republic'' *We're going to bring up electronics too. Electronics. We buy everything away. When you see the sophistication of the product I just saw at this place, electronics is peanuts. **20 August 2024 in [https://www.dailykos.com/story/2024/8/19/2264243/-Thanks-Joe-We-won-t-forget-who-was-POTUS-in-2020 "Thanks, Joe. We won't forget who was POTUS in 2020"], ''Daily Kos'' *Our primary focus is not to get out the vote, it is to make sure they don’t cheat. We have all the votes we’ll need. You can see it ... every house along the way has signs: Trump, Trump, Trump, Vance, Trump, Vance. **20 August 2024 in [https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2024-election/trump-says-focus-ensuring-democrats-dont-cheat-not-voter-turnout-rcna167630 "Trump says his focus is ensuring Democrats 'don't cheat,' not voter turnout — echoing efforts to undermine election"], ''NBC News'' *There will be no future under Comrade Kamala Harris, because she will take us into a Nuclear World War III , She will never be respected by the Tyrants of the World! **23 August 2024 in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/article/2024/aug/23/trump-reaction-harris-dnc-speech "Harris’s convention speech sparks live rant from outraged Trump"], ''The Guardian'' *My Administration will be great for women and their reproductive rights. **23 August 2024 [https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/113012083325505976 Truth Social] *Kamala Harris is the weakest presidential candidate in history on crime.<br>She’s allowed millions of people to pour through our borders, many from prisons, mental institutions and, indeed, terrorists, coming in at levels never seen before.<br>What gives her the right to run for president?<br>She got no votes to Biden’s fourteen million.<br>She failed in her previous attempt, was the first one out of twenty-two people to quit, never made it to Iowa, and now she’s a presidential candidate?<br>This is a '''threat to democracy'''! ** [https://www.rawstory.com/trump-2669023213/ "'What gives her the right to run?' Trump launches overnight tirade at Kamala Harris"], ''RawStory'' (August 24, 2024) *The truth is, they’re trying to get out of it because she doesn’t want to debate. She’s not a good debater, she’s not a smart person. She doesn’t want to debate. **26 August 2024 in response to the Harris campaign‘s demand that their September 10th debate occur without muted microphones; in [https://nypost.com/2024/08/26/us-news/harris-campaign-urges-trump-to-take-abc-news-debate-without-muted-microphone/ "Trump says Harris ‘trying to get out of’ debate over unmuted microphones demand"] *15 stunning all-new digital trading cards, it's really something. These cards show me dancing, even holding some BitCoins! ** [https://www.rawstory.com/trump-digital-trading-cards-2669080783/ "Trump revives widely mocked digital trading cards as Harris gains in polls"], ''RawStory'' (August 27, 2024) *The Harris/Biden administration has been caught fraudulently manipulating job statistics to hide the true extent of the economic ruin that they’ve inflicted on America, Bureau of Labor Statistics shows that the administration padded the numbers with an extra, listen to this one, 818,000 jobs that don’t exist. **[https://www.poynter.org/fact-checking/2024/job-data-manipulated-fact-check/ "Donald Trump falsely claimed that Joe Biden and Kamala Harris manipulated job data"], ''Poynter'' (August 27, 2024) * I think to a certain extent it’s Biden’s fault and Harris’s fault. And I’m the opponent. Look, they were weaponizing government against me, they brought in the whole DOJ to try and get me, they weren’t too interested in my health and safety,They’re saying I’m a threat to democracy,They would say that, that was standard line, just keep saying it, and you know that can get assassins or potential assassins going. That’s a terrible thing … Maybe that bullet is because of their rhetoric. ** With "dr Phil" [https://archive.ph/mamCT "Trump, without evidence, in part faults Biden, Harris for assassination attempt"], ''Washington Post'' (August 28, 2024) *Well, I think the six-week (ban) is too short. It has to be more time. So…and I’ve told them that, I want more weeks. I am going to be voting that we need more than six weeks…. I believe in exceptions for life of the mother, —if you look— incest, rape. ** 29 August 2024 when asked how he was going to vote on the Florida amendment to overturn the six-week ban on abortion; in [https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/trump-says-wants-make-ivf-treatments-paid-government-insurance-compani-rcna168804 "Trump says he wants to make IVF treatments paid for by government or insurance companies if elected"] *I’m announcing today in a major statement that under the Trump administration, your government will pay for — or your insurance company will be mandated to pay for — all costs associated with IVF treatment. Because we want more babies, to put it nicely. **30 August 2024 in [https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/world/us/we-want-more-babies-trump-promises-free-ivf-treatments-amid-abortion-rights-debate-says-us-government-will-pay-but-how/articleshow/112909996.cms 'We want more babies': Trump promises free IVF treatments amid abortion rights debate, says 'US government will pay' - But how?] *I’ll be voting ’no’ for that reason<br>“’No’ on (Florida) Amendment 4?”<br>For that reason because it‘s radical. You talk about radical. Doing an abortion in the ninth month is unacceptable to anybody…. There‘s something in between, but the six (weeks) is too short, it‘s just too short a period and the nine months is unacceptable…. But for that reason, for the radicalization on the Democrats side, we‘re voting ’no’.<br>“…Would you veto a federal abortion ban?”<br>I‘m not going to have to think about it because it‘s working out so well right now. The states are doing it. It‘s a states issue…. Well, what‘s happening is you‘re never going to have to do it because it‘s being done by the states. The states are voting. And the people are now getting a chance to vote and this is the way everybody wanted it. **30 August 2024 when asked about how he would vote on the Florida abortion amendment in the upcoming election in [https://www.foxnews.com/politics/pro-lifers-blast-trump-betrayal-shifting-abortion-stance-answer-florida-amendment-4 Pro-lifers blast Trump 'betrayal' with shifting abortion stance, answer on Florida Amendment 4] *It’s crazy. Our country is being '''poisoned''', and your schools and your children are suffering greatly because they’re going into the classrooms, they’re taking the seats and they don’t even speak English. **30 Aug 2024 quoted in [https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2024/aug/30/our-country-is-being-poisoned-trump-says-as-he-cou/ Washington Times article by Ali Swenson and Will Weissert] * If you look at Kamala and you look at what she’s done to every place she’s touched has turned to s**t. Every single place she’s touched. I have to say, it. Every place she’s touched, you know? ** [https://www.yahoo.com/news/melania-plea-trump-control-swearing-202341688.html "Melania’s plea for Trump to control his swearing flops as he tears into Harris at rally"], ''Yahoo News / Independent'' (August 31, 2024) * I don’t need publicity. I get a lot of publicity. I would like to get a lot less publicity.<br>I would hire a public relations agent to get less publicity. ** [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/article/2024/aug/30/trump-pennsylvania-rally-arlington-cemetery-photo-op?utm_source=sdrn%3Avg%3Aarticle%3AJbnA66 "Trump denies exploiting visit to US soldiers’ graves: ‘I don’t need publicity’"], ''The Guardian'' (August 31, 2024) *Now, they have Kamala who has many deficiencies, but she's a nasty person. The way she treated [[Mike Pence]] was horrible. The way she treats people is horrible. **31 August 2024 [https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-saying-kamala-harris-was-horrible-mike-pence-mocked-1947392 Donald Trump Saying Kamala Harris Was 'Horrible' to Mike Pence Mocked] ====September 2024==== *you take a look at Venezuela as an example, the crime is down 72% because they've taken their criminals from Caracas, they've taken their drug dealers. They're emptying their prisons into our country **[https://www.wtae.com/article/kamala-harris-donald-trump-pennsylvania-fact-check/62048503] ** [https://www.factcheck.org/2024/06/crime-drop-in-venezuela-does-not-prove-trumps-claim-the-country-is-sending-criminals-to-u-s/ "Crime Drop in Venezuela Does Not Prove Trump’s Claim the Country Is Sending Criminals to U.S."], ''FactCheck.org'' (June 14, 2024) * I think you believe [in God] more, because when you speak to experts, like my sons who are shooting experts. But when you speak to experts, they said there was no chance that he could have missed from that distance....<br>I think you think like, if you believe in God, you believe in God more. And somebody said like, why? And I’d like to think that God thinks that I’m going to straighten out our country. Our country is so sick and it’s so broken. Our country is just broken. And maybe that was the reason, I don’t know. I don’t know, a lot of people have said that. ** Speaking about assassination attempt on July 14, 2024, in interview on Fox News “Life, Liberty & Levin”, quoted in [https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4858345-trump-id-like-to-think-that-god-thinks-that-im-going-to-straighten-out-our-country/ "Trump: ‘I’d like to think that God thinks that I’m going to straighten out our country’"], ''The Hill'' [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RbQ2Gb2AG4 YouTube interview] (September 1, 2024) *You just cannot let them have a nuclear weapon. But I will say this: If they do have a nuclear weapon, Israel is gone. ** [https://www.iranintl.com/en/202409014919 "Trump says if Iran gets a nuke, 'Israel will be gone'"], ''Iran International'' (September 1, 2024) * Whoever heard you get indicted for interfering with a presidential election where you have every right to do it? ** [https://www.reuters.com/world/us/trump-says-he-had-every-right-interfere-2020-election-2024-09-02/ "Trump says he had 'every right' to interfere in 2020 election"], ''CNN'' (September 2, 2024) * You know, I do the weave. You know what the weave is? I’ll talk about like nine different things, and they all come back brilliantly together and it’s like, and friends of mine that are, like, English professors, they say, ‘It’s the most brilliant thing I’ve ever seen.’ But the fake news, you know what they say? ‘He rambled.’ ** [https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/critics-call-hilarious-bs-donald-094722633.html "Critics Call Hilarious BS On Donald Trump's New Brag About His Speeches"], ''Yahoo News / Huffington Post'' (September 2, 2024) * [About Project 2025:] I know nothing about it, and they know that, too. Democrats know that, and I purposely haven't read it because I want to say to you I don't, I have no idea what it's all about.<br>It's easier than saying I read it and you know, all of the things. No, I purposely haven't read it, and I've heard about it.<br>I've heard about things that are in there that I don't like, and there's some things in there that everybody would like, but there are things that I don't like at all. ** [https://www.rawstory.com/trump-project-2025-2669122309/ "Trump says ‘purposefully’ hasn’t read Project 2025 — but everybody would like parts of it"], ''RawStory'' (September 3, 2024) *But I’ve done well with debates. I became president, and then the second time I got millions more votes than I got the first time. I was told if I got 63 million … you would win. You can’t not win. And I got millions of more votes than that and lost by a whisker but— and look at what happened with the world. **[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-lex-fridman-podcast-interview-b2606533.html Trump admits he lost 2020 election ‘by a whisker’ during Lex Fridman podcast], ''Independent'' (September 3, 2024) "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCbfTN-caFI Donald Trump Interview - Lex Fridman Podcast #442]" (at 10m51s), Lex Fridman, 3 September 2024. * I am proud to represent our Failing Nation in fighting the GREATEST POLITICAL WITCH HUNT IN HISTORY. REMOVE THE GAG ORDER SO THAT I CAN SHOW HOW CORRUPT OUR COURT SYSTEM IS. PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES ARE NOT TO BE GAGGED! ** Claimed about a court order to stop repeatedly intimidating witnesses and attacking family members of a judge in a felony court case, quoted in [https://www.msn.com/en-au/news/other/i-am-proud-to-represent-our-failing-nation-trump-melts-down-in-early-morning-court-rant/ar-AA1pZ1jo "'I am proud to represent our failing nation': Trump melts down in early morning court rant"], ''MSN / Raw Story'' (September 4, 2024) *I’ve been preparing all my life for this debate. **Referring to his upcoming September 10th debate with Kamala Harris, in [https://www.wbtw.com/news/washington-dc-news/harris-and-trump-court-voters-ahead-of-first-debate/ Harris and Trump court voters ahead of first debate], ''News13 WBTW'' (September 4, 2024) * [Asked about what specific legislation Trump would advance to make child care affordable:] Well, I would do that, and we’re sitting down, and I was, somebody, we had Senator Marco Rubio, and my daughter Ivanka was so impactful on that issue. It’s a very important issue. But I think when you talk about the kind of numbers that I’m talking about, that, because, look, child care is child care is. It’s, couldn’t, you know, there’s something, you have to have it. In this country you have to have it. But when you talk about those numbers compared to the kind of numbers that I’m talking about by taxing foreign nations at levels that they’re not used to — but they’ll get used to it very quickly – and it’s not gonna stop them from doing business with us, but they’ll have a very substantial tax when they send product into our country. Those numbers are so much bigger than any numbers that we’re talking about, including child care, that it’s going to take care. We’re gonna have — I, I look forward to having no deficits within a fairly short period of time, coupled with the reductions that I told you about on waste and fraud and all of the other things that are going on in our country, because I have to stay with child care. I want to stay with child care, but those numbers are small relative to the kind of economic numbers that I’m talking about, including growth, but growth also headed up by what the plan is that I just, that I just told you about. We’re gonna be taking in trillions of dollars, and as much as child care is talked about as being expensive, it’s relatively speaking not very expensive compared to the kind of numbers we’ll be taking in. We’re going to make this into an incredible country that can afford to take care of its people, and then we’ll worry about the rest of the world. Let’s help other people. But we’re going to take care of our country first. This is about America first. It’s about Make America Great Again. We have to do it because right now we’re a failing nation, so we’ll take care of it. ** [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-childcare-economy-speech-b2607970.html "Trump tried to explain how he plans to make childcare more affordable. It was a word salad"], ''Independent'' (September 6, 2024)<!--Quoted by several other sources, such as ''All In with Chris Hayes'', https://www.rawstory.com/trump-decline/, see video here: https://www.c-span.org/video/?538141-1/fmr-pres-trump-remarks-economic-club-york--> * But the transgender thing is incredible. Think of it. Your kid goes to school and comes home a few days later with an operation. The school decides what's going to happen with your child. And you know, many of these childs [sic] 15 years later say, 'What the hell happened? Who did this to me?' They say, 'Who did this to me?' It's incredible. ** [https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/trump-schools-transgender-surgeries/ "Trump's Claim That Children Received Gender-Affirming Surgeries at School Is False"], ''Snopes'' (September 5, 2024) * As the first order of business, this commission will develop an action plan to totally eliminate fraud and improper payments within six months, saving trillions of dollars ** [https://www.nytimes.com/2024/09/06/technology/elon-musk-donald-trump-influence.html How Elon Musk Is Influencing Donald Trump], ''New York Times'' (September 6, 2024) * [On the likelihood of him sexually abusing a woman in 1979:] She said I was making out with her and then I grabbed her in a certain part. Think of the impracticality of this. I'm famous in a plane, people are coming into the plane and I grab a woman - what are the chances of that happening? Frankly, I know you're going to say it's a terrible thing to say but it couldn't have happened, it didn't happen because she would not have been the chosen one. **[https://www.the-express.com/news/politics/147957/donald-trump-e-jean-carroll-court-appeal Trump declares E. Jean Carroll 'not the chosen one' in bizarre rant following court appeal], ''Daily Express US'' [https://youtube.com/watch?v=mFdzWJXPYbo Trump mocks his sexual assault accuser: ‘She would not have been the chosen one’], MSNBC YouTube (September 6, 2024) *I am the Peace President, and only I will stop World War III! **[https://www.mediaite.com/trump/trump-loses-it-on-the-cheneys-after-they-endorse-harris-irrelevant-rino-along-with-his-daughter/ Trump Loses It on the Cheneys After They Endorse Harris: ‘Irrelevant RINO, Along with His Daughter!’] ''Mediaite'' [https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/113093196894480530] (September 6, 2024) * I better win, I better win, or you're going to have problems like we've never had. We may have no country left. It may be our last election. ** [https://www.foxnews.com/politics/trump-claims-israel-gone-two-years-harris-elected-president-video "Trump claims Israel will be 'gone' within two years if Harris is elected president: video"], ''Fox News'' (September 7, 2024) *WHEN I WIN, those people that CHEATED will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the Law, which will include long term prison sentences so that this Depravity of Justice does not happen again.<br>Please beware that this legal exposure extends to Lawyers, Political Operatives, Donors, Illegal Voters, & Corrupt Election Officials. Those involved in unscrupulous behavior will be sought out, caught, and prosecuted at levels, unfortunately, never seen before in our Country. **[https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/trump-threatens-long-prison-sentences-for-those-who-cheat-in-the-election-if-he-wins Trump threatens long prison sentences for those who ‘cheat’ in the election if he wins], ''PBS News'' (September 8, 2024) *The moment we win, we will rapidly review the cases of every political prisoner unjustly victimized by the Harris regime, and I will sign their pardons on day one. With your vote this election, their lying, cheating, thieving, hoaxing, and plotting will come to an end. We got to stop the cheating. If we stop that cheating, if we don't let them cheat, I don't even have to campaign anymore. We're going to win by so much. **At a rally in Wisconsin on Saturday, [https://transcripts.cnn.com/show/cnc/date/2024-09-09/segment/07 CNN News Central Transcripts] (September 9, 2024) * Can you imagine you’re a parent and your son leaves the house and you say, ‘Jimmy, I love you so much. Go have a good day in school’ and your son comes back with a brutal operation. Can you even imagine this? What the hell is wrong with our country? ** [https://uk.news.yahoo.com/trump-falsely-claims-children-being-195728811.html "Trump falsely claims children being forced into gender transition ops at school in rambling fantasy-filled rally speech"], ''Yahoo News / Independent'' (September 9, 2024) * I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT! ** [https://www.cnbc.com/2024/09/15/trump-says-i-hate-taylor-swift-after-pop-star-endorses-kamala-harris.html "Trump says ‘I hate Taylor Swift’ after pop star endorses Kamala Harris"], ''CNBC'' (September 15, 2024) * Latin music superstar Nicky Jam. Do you know Nicky? She’s hot. ** Claimed about the singer after he endorsed Trump, quoted in [https://eu.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/music/2024/09/15/donald-trump-nicky-jam-las-vegas-rally/75237185007/ "Donald Trump misgenders reggaeton star Nicky Jam at rally: 'She's hot'"], ''USA Today'' (September 16, 2024) *We have to call it Covid. What the hell does Covid mean. The China virus. A lot of people think they did that because they were not happy with me as president. **[https://www.the-express.com/news/politics/148953/trump Trump pushes theory that 'China created Covid-19 because they didn't like his presidency'] (September 17, 2024) *I don't know what happened. With the bomb threats. I know that it's been taken over by illegal migrants, and that's a terrible thing that happened. Springfield was this beautiful town, and now they're going through hell. **[https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/how-life-in-springfield-has-been-disrupted-by-lies-about-its-haitian-community How life in Springfield has been disrupted by lies about its Haitian community], ''PBS News'' (17 September, 2024) * We have Bagram in Alaska. ** [https://alaskabeacon.com/briefs/at-town-hall-trump-mixes-up-alaska-and-afghanistan-with-confusing-remarks-on-oil/ "At town hall, Trump mixes up Alaska and Afghanistan with confusing remarks on oil"] ''Alaska Beacon'' (September 18, 2024) * Nobody can draw crowds like me... I’m the greatest of all time. Maybe greater even than Elvis. Elvis had a guitar, I don’t have a guitar. I don’t have the privilege of a guitar. ** [https://www.msn.com/en-au/news/other/donald-trump-boasts-he-is-greater-than-elvis/ar-AA1qPeXs "Donald Trump boasts he is ‘greater than Elvis’"], ''MSN'' (September 19, 2024) *She doesn’t like doing interviews. And she’s not knowledgeable about economy and various things, and I think it would be a problem. But you know what? [Biden] was pretty much gone. They said, 'Joe, it’s over. You're getting out.' And they put her in, and she somehow — a woman — somehow she's doing better than he did. But I can't imagine it can last. **During an appearance on Fox News’ ''Gutfeld!'', [https://www.yahoo.com/news/donald-trump-seemed-surprised-kamala-200648284.html Donald Trump Just Made An Eyebrow-Raising Observation About Kamala Harris], ''Yahoo News'' (September 19, 2024) * This is Martin Luther King on steroids. I told that to Mark. I said, 'I think you're better than Martin Luther King. I think you are Martin Luther King times two.' ** Said about candidate for North Carolina governor [[Mark Robinson (American politician)|Mark Robinson]], quoted in [https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/robinson-expected-attend-trumps-north-carolina-rally-amid/story?id=113873656 "Robinson not expected to attend Trump's North Carolina rally amid scandal: Sources"], ''ABC News'' (September 21, 2024) * Anybody that thinks crime is going down is a serious brain problem. ** [https://www.scrippsnews.com/us-news/crime/murder-other-violent-crime-rates-dropped-across-us-last-year-new-fbi-data-shows "Murder, other violent crime rates dropped across US last year, new FBI data shows"], ''Scripps News'' (September 23, 2024) * She had the other interview with the other guy who was a nice guy I think from Philadelphia from Pennsylvania, he was a nice guy, he was asking her all these (scrambles words) – the daily take – they don’t take like I do! Anybody wants to go, go what the hell differences they make – they have – and how dishonest was ABC. * I'm cognitively very strong. ** [https://au.news.yahoo.com/trump-teased-over-rambling-word-120404261.html "Trump teased over rambling ‘word salad’ at rally as he insists he is 'cognitively very strong'"], ''Yahoo News / The Independent'' (September 24, 2024) * If any senior doesn't vote for Trump, we're gonna have to send you to a psychiatrist to have your head examined. ** [https://www.mediaite.com/trump/trump-tells-another-group-of-voters-to-have-your-head-examined/ "Trump Tells ANOTHER Group of Voters to 'Have Your Head Examined'"], ''Mediaite'' (September 25, 2024) * Has there EVER been a WORSE HOST than Jimmy Kimmel at The Oscars. His opening was that of a less than average person trying too hard to be something which he is not, and never can be. * I said, ‘He’s one of the dumbest human beings ever.’ He should have listened to his wife. What a dope. ** [https://www.thewrap.com/jimmy-kimmel-live-trump-dumbest-human-being-response/ "Jimmy Kimmel Claps Back at Trump Calling Him ‘One of the Dumbest Human Beings Ever’: ‘He’s Confusing Me With One of His Sons’"] ''The Wrap'' (September 25, 2024) *If I were the president, I would inform the threatening country, in this case, Iran, that if you do anything to harm this person, we are going to blow your largest cities and the country itself to smithereens. We're going to blow it to smithereens. There would be no more threats. **[https://abcnews.go.com/International/trump-lashes-iran-security-officials-warn-rise-foreign/story?id=114086967 "Trump suggests Iran tied to assassination attempts, issues blunt warning"], ''ABC News'' (September 26, 2024) *It has been determined that Google has illegally used a system of only revealing and displaying bad stories about Donald J Trump, some made up for this purpose while, at the same time, only revealing good stories about Comrade Kamala Harris. This is an ILLEGAL ACTIVITY, and hopefully the Justice Department will criminally prosecute them for this blatant Interference of Elections. If not, and subject to the Laws of our Country, I will request their prosecution, when I win the Election and become President of the United States. **From a post on ''Truth Social'', cited in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/sep/27/trump-google-threat-criminal-charges Trump vows to seek criminal charges against Google if re-elected president], ''The Guardian'' (September 28, 2024) *Crooked Joe Biden became mentally impaired, Sad. But lying Kamala Harris, honestly, I believe she was born that way. There’s something wrong with Kamala. And I just don’t know what it is but there is definitely something missing. And you know what, everybody knows it. **[https://www.ctvnews.ca/world/trump-says-there-s-something-wrong-with-harris-and-that-she-s-mentally-impaired-1.7056321 "Trump says there's 'something wrong' with Harris and that she's 'mentally impaired'] ''CTV News / Associated Press'' (September 29, 2024) ====1st Debate with Kamala Harris (September 10, 2024)==== *<i>in response to Kamala Harris bringing up Project 2025:</I><Br>…she knows better than anyone, I have nothing to do with Project 2025. That's out there. I haven't read it. I don't want to read it, purposely. I'm not going to read it. This was a group of people that got together, they came up with some ideas. I guess some good, some bad. But it makes no difference. I have nothing to do -- everybody knows I'm an open book. Everybody knows what I'm going to do. Cut taxes very substantially. And create a great economy like I did before. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *<i>regarding inflation during the Biden presidency:</i><br><b>I had no inflation,</b> virtually no inflation, they had the highest inflation, perhaps in the history of our country because I've never seen a worse period of time. <b>People can't go out and buy cereal bacon or eggs or anything else.</b> These the people of our country are absolutely dying with what they've done. They've destroyed the economy and all you have to do it look at a poll. The polls say 80 and 85 and even 90% that the Trump economy was great that their economy was terrible. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *We hardly make chips anymore because of philosophies like they have and policies like they have. I don't say her because she has no policy. Everything that she believed three years ago and four years ago is out the window. She's going to my philosophy now. In fact, I was going to send her a MAGA hat. She's gone to my philosophy. But if she ever got elected, she'd change it. And it will be the end of our country. <b>She's a Marxist. Everybody knows she's a Marxist.</b> **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *But when you look at what she's done to our country and when you look at these <b>millions and millions of people that are pouring into our country monthly</b> where it's I believe 21 million people, not the 15 that people say, and I think it's a lot higher than the 21. That's bigger than New York state. Pouring in. And just look at what they're doing to our country. They're criminals. Many of these people coming in are criminals. And that's bad for our economy too. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *<i>LINSEY DAVIS: …Vice President Harris says that women shouldn't trust you on the issue of abortion because you've changed your position so many times. Therefore, why should they trust you?</i><br>Well, the reason I'm doing that vote [voting “no” on the Florida abortion ban] is because the plan is, as you know, the vote is, they have abortion in the ninth month. They even have, and you can look at the governor of West Virginia, the previous governor of West Virginia, not the current governor, who's doing an excellent job, but the governor before. He said the baby will be born and we will decide what to do with the baby. In other words, we'll execute the baby. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *But her vice presidential pick [Tim Walz] says abortion in the ninth month is absolutely fine. <b>He also says execution after birth, it's execution, no longer abortion, because the baby is born, is okay.</b> And that's not okay with me. Hence the vote. But what I did is something for 52 years they've been trying to get Roe v. Wade into the states. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *And now states are voting on it. And for the first time you're going to see -- look, this is an issue that's torn our country apart for 52 years. Every legal scholar, every Democrat, every Republican, liberal, conservative, they all wanted this issue to be brought back to the states where the people could vote. And that's what happened, happened. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *<i>KAMALA HARRIS: …But understand, if Donald Trump were to be re-elected, he will sign a national abortion ban….</i><br>I’m not signing a ban. And there's no reason to sign a ban. Because we've gotten what everybody wanted. Democrats, Republicans and everybody else and every legal scholar wanted it to be brought back into the states. And the states are voting. And it may take a little time, but for 52 years this issue has torn our country apart. And they've wanted it back in the states. And I did something that nobody thought was possible. The states are now voting. What she says is an absolute lie. And as far as the abortion ban, no, I'm not in favor of abortion ban. But it doesn't matter because this issue has now been taken over by the states. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *<i>KAMALA HARRIS: …You will see during the course of his rallies he talks about fictional characters like Hannibal Lecter. He will talk about windmills cause cancer. And what you will also notice is that people start leaving his rallies early out of exhaustion and boredom….</i><br>First let me respond as to the rallies. She said people start leaving. <b>People don't go to her rallies.</b> There's no reason to go. And the people that do go, <b>she's busing them in and paying them to be there.</b> And then showing them in a different light. So, she can't talk about that. People don't leave my rallies. <b>We have the biggest rallies, the most incredible rallies in the history of politics.</b> That's because people want to take their country back. Our country is being lost. <b>We're a failing nation. And it happened three and a half years ago.</b> And what, what's going on here, <b>you're going to end up in World War 3,</b> just to go into another subject. What they have done to our country by allowing these millions and millions of people to come into our country. And look at what's happening to the towns all over the United States. And a lot of towns don't want to talk -- not going to be Aurora or Springfield. A lot of towns don't want to talk about it because they're so embarrassed by it. <b>In Springfield, they're eating the dogs. The people that came in. They're eating the cats. They're eating -- they're eating the pets of the people that live there.</b> And this is what's happening in our country. And it's a shame….<br><I>DAVID MUIR: I just want to clarify here, you bring up Springfield, Ohio. And ABC News did reach out to the city manager there. He told us there have been no credible reports of specific claims of pets being harmed, injured or abused by individuals within the immigrant community --</i><br><b>Well, I've seen people on television</b><br><i>DAVID MUIR: Let me just say here this ...</i><br><b>The people on television say my dog was taken and used for food.</b> So maybe he said that and maybe that's a good thing to say for a city manager.<br><i>DAVID MUIR: I'm not taking this from television. I'm taking it from the city manager.</i><br><b>But the people on television say their dog was eaten by the people that went there.</b><br><i>DAVID MUIR: Again, the Springfield city manager says there's no evidence of that.</i><br>*<b>We'll find out.</b> **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *But just to finish, I got more votes than any Republican in history by far. In fact, I got more votes than any president, sitting president in history by far. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *<i>DAVID MUIR: You also said you would use local police. How would you deport 11 million undocumented immigrants? I know you believe that number is much higher….</i><br> Yeah. It is much higher because of them. They allowed criminals. Many, many, millions of criminals. They allowed terrorists. They allowed common street criminals. They allowed people to come in, drug dealers, to come into our country, and they're now in the United States. And told by their countries like Venezuela don't ever come back or we're going to kill you. Do you know that crime in Venezuela and crime in countries all over the world is way down? You know why? Because they've taken their criminals off the street and they've given them to her to put into our country. And this will be one of the greatest mistakes in history for them to allow -- and I think they probably did it because they think they're going to get votes. But it's not worth it. Because they're destroying the fabric of our country by what they've done. There's never been anything done like this at all. They've destroyed the fabric of our country. Millions of people let in. And all over the world crime is down. All over the world except here. Crime here is up and through the roof. Despite their fraudulent statements that they made. Crime in this country is through the roof. And we have a new form of crime. It's called migrant crime. And it's happening at levels that nobody thought possible.<br><i>DAVID MUIR: President Trump, as you know, the FBI says overall violent crime is actually coming down in this country, but Vice President the...</i><br>Excuse me, the FBI -- they were defrauding statements. They didn't include the worst cities. They didn't include the cities with the worst crime. It was a fraud. Just like their number of 818,000 jobs that they said they created turned out to be a fraud. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *<i>Responding to Harris listing the criminal cases against Trump:</i><br>Excuse me. Every one of those cases was started by them against their political opponent. And I'm winning most of them and I'll win the rest on appeal. And you saw that with the decision that came down just recently from the Supreme Court. I'm winning most of them. But those are cases, it's called weaponization. Never happened in this country. They weaponized the justice department. Every one of those cases was involved with the DOJ, from Atlanta and Fani Willis -- to the attorney general of New York and the D.A. In New York. Every one of those cases. And then they say oh, he was -- he's a criminal. They're the ones that made them go after me. By the way, Joe Biden was found essentially guilty on the documents case. And what happened in my documents case? They said oh, that's the toughest of them all. A complete and total victory. Two months ago it was thrown out. It's weaponization. And they used it. And it's never happened in this country. They used it to try and win an election. They're fake cases….<br>…This is the one that weaponized. Not me. She weaponized. I probably took a bullet to the head because of the things that they say about me. They talk about democracy. I'm a threat to democracy. They're the threat to democracy – With the fake Russia Russia Russia investigation that went nowhere. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *<i>Responding to Harris‘ statement that he inherited $400 million:</i><br>Well, first of all, I wasn't given $400 million. I wish I was. My father was a Brooklyn builder. Brooklyn, Queens. And a great father and I learned a lot from him. But I was given a fraction of that, a tiny fraction, and I built it into many, many billions of dollars. Many, many billions. And when people see it, they are even surprised. So, we don't have to talk about that. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *She went out -- she went out in Minnesota and wanted to let criminals that killed people, that burned down Minneapolis, she went out and raised money to get them out of jail. She did things that nobody would ever think of. Now she wants to do transgender operations on illegal aliens that are in prison. This is a radical left liberal that would do this. She wants to confiscate your guns and she will never allow fracking in Pennsylvania. If she won the election, fracking in Pennsylvania will end on day one. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *Because <b>the prices of energy were quadrupling and doubling.</b> You saw what happened to gasoline. So, they said let’s go back to Trump. But if she won the election, the day after that election, they’ll go back to destroying our country and oil will be dead, fossil fuel will be dead. We’ll go back to windmills and we’ll go back to solar, where they need a whole desert to get some energy to come out. You ever see a solar plant? By the way, I’m a big fan of solar. But they take 400, 500 acres of desert soil— These are not good things for the environment that she understands. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *<i>DAVID MUIR: You were the president. You were watching [the January 6th attack on the U.S. Capitol] unfold on television. It’s a very simple question as we move forward toward another election. Is there anything you regret about what you did on that day? Yes or no.<br></i>I had nothing to do with that other than they asked me to make a speech. I showed up for a speech. I said, I think it’s going to be big. I went to Nancy Pelosi and the mayor of Washington, D.C. And the mayor put it back in writing, as you know. I said, you know, this is going to be a very big rally or whatever you want to call it. And again, it wasn’t done by me. It was done by others. I said I’d like to give you 10,000 National Guard or soldiers. They rejected me. Nancy Pelosi rejected me. It was just two weeks ago, her daughter has a tape of her saying she is fully responsible for what happened. They want to get rid of that tape. It would have never happened if Nancy Pelosi and the mayor of Washington did their jobs. <b>I wasn’t responsible for security. Nancy Pelosi was responsible. She didn’t do her job.</b> **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *<i>DAVID MUIR: Are you now acknowledging that you lost in 2020?</i><br>No, I don’t acknowledge that at all.<br><i>DAVID MUIR: But you did say that.</i><br>I said that sarcastically. You know that. It was said, oh we lost by a whisker. That was said sarcastically. Look, there’s so much proof. All you have to do is look at it. And they should have sent it back to the legislatures for approval. I got almost 75 million votes. The most votes any sitting president has ever gotten. I was told if I got 63, which was what I got in 2016, you can’t be beaten. The election, people should never be thinking about an election as fraudulent. We need two things. We need walls. We need — and we have to have it. We have to have borders. And we have to have good elections.<br>Our elections are bad. And a lot of these illegal immigrants coming in, they’re trying to get them to vote. They can’t even speak English. They don’t even know what country they’re in practically. And these people are trying to get them to vote. And that’s why they’re allowing them to come into our country. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *<i>DAVID MUIR: And [many judges] said there was no widespread [election] fraud.</i><br> No judge looked at it. They said we didn’t have standing. That’s the other thing. They said we didn’t have standing. A technicality. Can you imagine a system where a person in an election doesn’t have standing, the President of the United States doesn’t have standing? That’s how we lost. If you look at the facts, and I’d love to have you — you’ll do a special on it. I’ll show you Georgia and I’ll show you Wisconsin and I’ll show you Pennsylvania and I’ll show you — we have so many facts and statistics. But you know what? That doesn’t matter. Because we have to solve the problem that we have right now. That’s old news. And the problem that we have right now is we have a nation in decline and they have put it into decline. We have a nation that is dying, David **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *<i>KAMALA HARRIS: …And world leaders are laughing at Donald Trump. I have talked with military leaders, some of whom worked with you. And they say you’re a disgrace….</i><br><i>DAVID MUIR: I’ll give you one minute to respond, Mr. President.</i><br>Let me just tell you about world leaders. Viktor Orban, one of the most respected men — they call him a strong man. He’s a tough person. Smart. Prime Minister of Hungary. They said why is the whole world blowing up? Three years ago it wasn’t. Why is it blowing up? He said because you need Trump back as president. They were afraid of him. China was afraid. And I don’t like to use the word afraid but I’m just quoting him. China was afraid of him. North Korea was afraid of him. Look at what’s going on with North Korea, by the way. He said Russia was afraid of him….<br>Look, Viktor Orban said it. He said the most respected, most feared person is Donald Trump. We had no problems when Trump was president. But when this weak pathetic man that you saw at a debate just a few months ago that if he weren’t in that debate he’d be running instead of her, she got no votes, he got 14 million votes, what you did, you talk about a threat to democracy. He got 14 million votes [in the primaries] and they threw him out of office. And you know what? I’ll give you a little secret. He hates her. He can’t stand her…. But he had 14 million votes. They threw them out. She got zero votes. And when she ran, she was the first one to leave because she failed. And now she’s running. I don’t understand it but I’m okay with it – because I think we’re going to do pretty well. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *<i>LINSEY DAVIS: President Trump, how would you negotiate with Netanyahu and also Hamas in order to get the hostages out and prevent the killing of more innocent civilians in Gaza?</i><br>If I were president it would have never started. If I were president Russia would have never, ever -- I know Putin very well. He would have never -- and there was no threat of it either, by the way, for four years. Have gone into Ukraine and killed millions of people when you add it up. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *She hates Israel. <b>If she's president, I believe that Israel will not exist within two years from now. And I've been pretty good at predictions.</b> And I hope I'm wrong about that one. She hates Israel. At the same time in her own way she hates the Arab population because the whole place is going to get blown up, Arabs, Jewish people, Israel. Israel will be gone. It would have never happened. Iran was broke under Donald Trump. Now Iran has $300 billion because they took off all the sanctions that I had. Iran had no money for Hamas or Hezbollah or any of the 28 different spheres of terror. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *And I'll get the war with Ukraine and Russia ended. If I'm President-Elect, I'll get it done before even becoming president. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *<i>KAMALA HARRIS: …It is well known that he said of Putin that he can do whatever the hell he wants and go into Ukraine. It is well known when that he said when Russia went into Ukraine it was brilliant….</i><br>They're the ones -- and she's the one that caused it, that's weak on national security by allowing every nation last month for the year, 168 different countries sending people into our country. Their crime rates are way down. Putin endorsed her last week. Said I hope she wins. And I think he meant it. Because what he's gotten away with is absolutely incredible. It wouldn't have happened with me. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *<i>DAVID MUIR: …You have said you would solve this war [in Ukraine] in 24 hours. How exactly would you do that? And I want to ask you a very simple question tonight. Do you want Ukraine to win this war?</i><br>I want to get the war settled. I know Zelenskyy very well and I know Putin very well. I have a good relationship. And they respect your president. Okay? They respect me. They don't respect Biden….<br>If I win, when I'm President-Elect, and what I'll do is I'll speak to one, I'll speak to the other, I'll get them together. That war would have never happened. And in fact when I saw Putin after I left, unfortunately left because our country has gone to hell, but after I left when I saw him building up soldiers, he did it after I left, I said oh, he must be negotiating. It must be a good strong point of negotiation. Well, it wasn't because Biden had no idea how to talk to him. He had no idea how to stop it. And now you have millions of people dead and it's only getting worse and it could lead to World War 3. Don't kid yourself, David. We're playing with World War 3. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *And we have a president that we don't even know if he's -- where is our president? We don't even know if he's a president.<br><i>DAVID MUIR: And just to clarify here.</I><br>They threw him out of a campaign like a dog. We don't even know, is he our president? But we have a president…<br><i>DAVID MUIR: Mr. President,--</i><br>…that doesn't know he's alive. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *<i>KAMALA HARRIS: …If Donald Trump were president, Putin would be sitting in Kyiv right now….</i><br>Putin would be sitting in Moscow and he wouldn't have lost 300,000 men and women. But he would have been sitting in Moscow… But eventually, you know, he's got a thing that other people don't have. <b>He's got nuclear weapons. They don't ever talk about that. He's got nuclear weapons. Nobody ever thinks about that.</b> And eventually uh maybe he'll use them. Maybe he hasn't been that threatening. But he does have that. Something we don't even like to talk about. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *And that's the kind of talent we have with her. She's worse than Biden. In my opinion, I think he's the worst president in the history of our country. She goes down as the worst vice president in the history of our country. But let me tell you something. She is a horrible negotiator. They sent her in to negotiate. As soon as they left Putin did the invasion. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *<i>KAMALA HARRIS: [Regarding a peace deal Trump negotiated to end the Afghan War:] He bypassed the Afghan government. He negotiated directly with a terrorist organization called the Taliban. The negotiation involved the Taliban getting 5,000 terrorists, Taliban terrorists released.</i><br>So if you take a look at that period of time, the Taliban was killing our soldiers, a lot of them, with snipers. And I got involved with the Taliban because the Taliban was doing the killing. That's the fighting force within Afghanistan. They don't bother doing that because you know, they deal with the wrong people all the time. But I got involved. And Abdul is the head of the Taliban. He is still the head of the Taliban. And I told Abdul don't do it anymore, you do it anymore you're going to have problems. And he said why do you send me a picture of my house? I said you're going to have to figure that out, Abdul. And for 18 months we had nobody killed. We did have an agreement negotiated by Mike Pompeo. It was a very good agreement. The reason it was good, it was -- we were getting out. We would have been out faster than them, but we wouldn't have lost the soldiers. We wouldn't have left many Americans behind. And we wouldn't have left -- we wouldn't have left $85 billion worth of brand new beautiful military equipment behind. And just to finish, they blew it. The agreement said you have to do this, this, this, this, this, and they didn't do it. They didn't do it. The agreement was, was terminated by us because they didn't do what they were supposed to do. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *<i>DAVID MUIR: …Why do you believe it's appropriate to weigh in on the racial identity of your opponent?</i><br>I don't. And I don't care. I don't care what she is. I don't care. You make a big deal out of something. I couldn't care less. Whatever she wants to be is okay with me.<br><i>DAVID MUIR: But those were your words. So, I'm asking --</i><br>I don't know. I don't know. All I can say is I read where she was not Black, that she put out. And, I'll say that. And then I read that she was black. And that's okay. Either one was okay with me. That's up to her. That's up to her. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *<i>KAMALA HARRIS: …Let's remember, this is the same individual who took out a full-page ad in The New York Times calling for the execution of five young Black and Latino boys who were innocent, the Central Park Five. Took out a full-page ad calling for their execution….</i><br>This is the most divisive presidency in the history of our country. There's never been anything like it. They're destroying our country. And they come up with things like what she just said going back many, many years when a lot of people including Mayor Bloomberg agreed with me on the Central Park Five. They admitted -- they said, they pled guilty. And I said, well, if they pled guilty they badly hurt a person, killed a person ultimately. And if they pled guilty -- then they pled we're not guilty. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *<b>I built one of the greatest economies in the history of the world and I'm going to build it again.</b> It's going to be bigger, better and stronger. But they're destroying our economy. They have no idea what a good economy is. Their oil policies -- every single policy -- and remember this. She is Biden. She's trying to get away from Biden. I don't know the gentleman, she says. She is Biden. The worst inflation we've ever had. A horrible economy because inflation has made it so bad and she can't get away with that. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *She is destroying our country. She has a plan to defund the police. She has a plan to confiscate everybody's gun. She has a plan to not allow fracking in Pennsylvania or anywhere else. That's what her plan is until just recently. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *<i>LINSEY DAVIS: …So tonight, nine years after you first started running, do you have a [healthcare] plan and can you tell us what it is?</i><br>Obamacare was lousy health care. Always was. It's not very good today. And what I said, that if we come up with something, we are working on things, we're going to do it and we're going to replace it…. And what we will do is we're looking at different plans. If we can come up with a plan that's going to cost our people, our population less money and be better health care than Obamacare, then I would absolutely do it. But until then I'd run it as good as it can be run.<br><i>LINSEY DAVIS: So just a yes or no, you still do not have a plan?</i><br>I have concepts of a plan. I'm not president right now. But if we come up with something I would only change it if we come up with something better and less expensive. And there are concepts and options we have to do that. And you'll be hearing about it in the not-too-distant future. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *<i>Closing Statement:</i><br>…We're a failing nation. We're a nation that's in serious decline. We're being laughed at all over the world. All over the world, they laugh, I know the leaders very well. They're coming to see me. They call me. We're laughed at all over the world. They don't understand what happened to us as a nation. We're not a leader. We don't have any idea what's going on. We have wars going on in the Middle East. We have wars going on with Russia and Ukraine. We're going to end up in a third World War. And it will be a war like no other because of nuclear weapons, the power of weaponry. I rebuilt our entire military. She gave a lot of it away to the Taliban. She gave it to Afghanistan. What these people have done to our country, and maybe toughest of all is allowing millions of people to come into our country, many of them are criminals, and they're destroying our country. The worst president, the worst vice president in the history of our country. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/harris-trump-presidential-debate-transcript/story?id=113560542 Harris-Trump presidential debate transcript], ''ABC News'' (September 10, 2024) *It was 3 on 1, but they were mentally challenged people, against one person of extraordinary genius. **[https://www.mediaite.com/politics/abc-fake-news-trump-rages-network-under-investigation-after-debate-3-mentally-challenged-people-on-1-extraordinary-genius/] *They didn't correct her [Harris] once and they corrected me. Everything I said, practically, I think 9 times or 11 times. And the audience was absolutely, they went crazy. And the real, I thought, I walked off and I said, 'that was a great debate, I loved it.' **Regarding the debate audience (which there wasn‘t one), [https://www.newsweek.com/trump-praises-nonexistent-debate-crowd-they-went-crazy-1956251 Donald Trump's Debate Crowd Comment Sparks Confusion: 'They Went Crazy'], ''Newsweek'' (September 19, 2024) ==== October 2024 ==== * We do a lot of these beautiful rallies, and it's so great. We never have an empty seat, never have. Look at it. ** [https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-rally-videos-empty-seats-1966810 "Donald Trump Rally Videos Show Hundreds of Empty Seats"], ''Newsweek'' (October 10, 2024) *We have two enemies: We have the outside enemy, and then we have the enemy from within. And the enemy from within, in my opinion, is more dangerous than China, Russia and all these countries… But the thing that's tougher to handle are these lunatics that we have inside, like Adam Schiff — Adam 'Shifty' Schiff… I call him the enemy from within. When you look at the danger he put our country in potentially with Russia — with a phony, made-up deal that he made up with Hillary and some bad people. ** [https://www.foxnews.com/media/former-president-trump-calls-enemy-within-more-dangerous-any-foreign-entity Former President Trump calls the 'enemy from within' more dangerous than any foreign entity] ''FoxNews'' (October 13, 2024) *So we’re gonna take care of it, you and me. I’ll tell you, if everything works out and everybody gets out on January 5th, or before. You know, it used to be, you’d have a date. Today, you can vote two months before, probably three months after. They don’t know what the hell they’re doing. But we’re gonna straighten it all out. We’re gonna straighten that out, too. We’re gonna straighten out our election process, too. That’s gotta be important also. **[https://www.mediaite.com/politics/whoops-trump-tells-supporters-to-get-out-and-vote-on-january-5th/ Whoops! Trump Tells Supporters to Get Out and Vote on ‘January 5th’] ''Mediaite'' (October 14, 2024) *Let’s not do any more questions. Let’s just listen to music. Let’s make it into a music. Who the hell wants to hear questions, right? **[https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/ar-AA1sha0E Trump sways and bops to music for 39 minutes in bizarre town hall episode] ''The Washington Post'' (October 14, 2024) *To me, the most beautiful word in the dictionary is tariff, and it’s my favorite word. It needs a public relations firm. **[https://www.bloomberg.com/news/newsletters/2024-10-15/in-trump-s-economic-plan-tariff-is-the-most-beautiful-word In Trump’s Economic Plan, Tariff Is ‘the Most Beautiful Word’] ‘’Bloomberg News’’ (October 15, 2024) * I’m the father of IVF. ** [https://edition.cnn.com/2024/10/16/politics/fact-check-trump-false-claims-fox-townhall/index.html "Fact check: Trump makes at least 19 false claims in one-hour Fox town hall with women"], ''CNN'' (October 16, 2024) * [[w:Ashli Babbitt | Ashli Babbitt]] was killed, nobody was killed. ** Claimed about the [[2021 United States Capitol attack| January 6, 2020 United States Capitol attack]]. Quoted in [https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-univision-town-hall-hispanic-voters-audience-reaction-1970402 "Univision Audience Reaction to Donald Trump Answer in Town Hall Goes Viral"], ''Newsweek'' (October 17, 2024) *Very importantly, you had hundreds of thousands of people come to Washington [on January 6th]. They didn’t come because of me. They came because of the election. They thought the election was a rigged election and that’s why they came. Some of those people went down to the Capitol, I said, peacefully and patriotically, nothing done wrong at all. Nothing done wrong. And action was taken, strong action. Ashli Babbitt was killed. Nobody was killed. There were no guns down there. We didn’t have guns. The others had guns, but we didn’t have guns. And when I say “we” these are people that walk down, this was a tiny percentage of the overall, which nobody sees and nobody shows.<br>But that was a day of love from the standpoint of the millions, it’s like hundreds of thousands. It could have been the largest group I’ve ever spoken before. They asked me to speak. I went and I spoke and I used the term peacefully and patriotically. If you look at the Democrats, what they say, you look at Maxine Waters, and you look at Hillary Clinton and you look at what they say and they don’t put that on. They only put Republicans on, but they couldn’t get me because of the fact that I said, everything’s got to be peaceful and patriotic and we’ll see how it all works out. **In response to a question about why a voter should support Trump after his role on January 6th [https://www.rev.com/blog/transcripts/trump-town-hall-on-univision Trump Town Hall on Univision] (October 17, 2024) *Kamala should be investigated and forced off the Campaign, and Joe Biden allowed to take back his rightful place (He got 14 Million Primary Votes, she got none!). THIS WHOLE SORDID AND FRAUDULENT EVENT IS A THREAT TO DEMOCRACY! **As it appeared on Truth Social, reported in [https://www.mediaite.com/politics/trump-melts-down-in-wild-post-claiming-kamala-harris-should-be-investigated-and-biden-should-be-his-opponent-again/ Trump Melts Down In Wild Post Claiming Kamala Harris ‘Should Be Investigated’ And Biden Should Be His Opponent Again] Mediaite (October 17, 2024) * We have another former New York City mayor with us. Frankly, easily the worst in our history. And it's not [[Michael Bloomberg|Michael]], that I can tell you. I'm surprised that [[Bill de Blasio|Bill de Blasio]] was actually able to make it tonight, to be honest. He was a terrible mayor. I don't give a shit if this is comedy or not. He was a terrible mayor. He did a horrible job. That's not comedy, by the way. That's fact. ** Al Smith dinner (October 17, 2024) * If we go with Kamala, you won’t have any cows anymore.<br>They want to do things like no more cows and no windows in buildings. ** [https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4941581-trump-says-no-cows-under-harris/ "Trump tells child there will be no cows under Harris"], ''The Hill'' (October 18, 2024) *<i>Howard Kurtz:</i> But when you said, you know, it's gone viral, they're eating the dogs, they're eating the cats. But why not say now, well, look, that turned out not to be true.<br><i>Trump:</i> I don't know if it's true or not true.<br><i>Kurtz:</i> You don't know if it's true or not true. It's been debunked by the officials.<br><i>Trump:</i> What about the goose? The geese? They're all missing. It was one guy with two geese. I have no idea. I said something. The big problem is that you can't put 30,000 people into a 50,000-person town or city and expect this city to even survive or do well. What they've done to Springfield, Ohio, is very, very unfair. And I mean, there are a lot of stories. There are a lot of other stories that I've heard that are horrible stories... Don't don't, you know, blame me.<br><i>Kurtz:</i> Well, I think it's been debunked by local officials.<br><i>Trump:</i> I don't think it's been debunked at all. I think nobody talks about it except you. *If radical left lunatics disrupt the election, it should be very easily handled by — if necessary, by National Guard, or if really necessary, by the military. **Interview with Fox New host Howard Kurtz in [https://www.rawstory.com/trump-haitians-debunked/ 'It's been debunked': Fox News host fact checks Trump to his face on Springfield Haitians] ''RawStory'' (October 20, 2024) [https://whyy.org/articles/trump-election-2024-kamala-harris-elizabeth-cheney-threat-civil-liberties/] *Comrade Kamala Harris sees that she is losing, and losing badly, especially after stealing the Race from Crooked Joe Biden, so now she is increasingly raising her rhetoric, going so far as to call me Adolf Hitler, and anything else that comes to her warped mind. She is a Threat to Democracy **[https://nitter.poast.org/realDonaldTrump/status/1849272632237056163#m] *I NEED THE KIND OF GENERALS THAT HITLER HAD **[https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2024/10/trump-military-generals-hitler/680327/] *When Kamala came in, she dismantled our border and threw open the gates to an invasion of criminal migrants. We're a dumping ground. We're like a garbage can for the world. That's what's happened. That's what's happened to our ... We're like a garbage can **[https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-ripped-saying-america-garbage-can-1974727] *He’d take all the candy away very quickly. She wouldn’t have any idea what happened. It would be like a grand chess master playing a beginner. We would lose our country or be in World War III,because she’d get exasperated. She’s in no way able to handle him. He’s a fierce individual. **[https://nypost.com/2024/10/24/us-news/trump-says-iranian-regime-wouldnt-have-to-end-if-he-were-president-suggests-peace-could-be-close/?utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=nypost] *Now we have income taxes, and we have people that are dying. They're paying tax, and they don't have the money to pay the tax. In the old days … we had so much money, they had to set up committees, blue-ribbon committees, [on] how to spend our wealth. We had no idea how to spend it with so much money. Then we went to the income tax system and the rest is sort of history. But no, there is a way **[https://www.foxnews.com/media/trump-tells-bronx-barbershop-what-he-would-do-differently-elected-second-time-its-all-about-people] *And my people told me about four weeks ago, I was saying, ‘No, I want to protect the people. I want to protect the women of our country. I want to protect the women.’<br>“‘Sir, please don’t say that.’<br>“They said, ‘We think it’s, it’s very inappropriate for you to say.’<br>“I pay these guys a lot of money. Can you believe it? Well, I’m going to do it whether the women like it or not. I’m going to protect them. **[https://www.huffpost.com/entry/donald-trump-protect-women-green-bay-rally_n_6722f2d1e4b02f5ab1d23299 Trump Says He Will Protect Women ‘Whether The Women Like It Or Not’] ''HuffPost'' (October 30, 2024) *She's a radical war hawk. Let's put her with a rifle standing there, with nine barrels shooting at her, okay? Let's see how she feels about it, you know, when the guns are trained on her face. **Referring to [[Liz Cheney]], reported in [https://www.reuters.com/world/us/trump-suggests-liz-cheney-should-face-firing-squad-her-foreign-policy-stance-2024-11-01/ Arizona prosecutor investigating Trump for saying Cheney should face gunfire] ''Reuters'' (October 31, 2024) ==== November 2024 ==== *I could’ve been anywhere I wanted to be. I could’ve had those waves smacking me in the face. That white, beautiful white skin that I have would be nice and tan. I got the whitest skin ’cause I never have time to go out in the sun. But I have that beautiful white, and you know what? It could’ve been beautiful, tanned, beautiful. **[https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/trump-boasts-he-has-beautiful-white-skin-right-after-slamming-kamala-harris/ar-AA1tmtNv Trump Boasts He Has ‘Beautiful White Skin’ Right After Slamming Kamala Harris] ''MSN'' (November 2, 2024) *I shouldn’t have left. I mean, honestly, because we did so, we did so well. **[https://www.cnn.com/2024/11/03/politics/trump-dark-closing-message/index.html Trump says he ‘shouldn’t have left’ the White House as he closes campaign with increasingly dark message] ''CNN'' (November 3, 2024) * In many cases, our allies are worse than our so-called enemies. ** Claimed about allied NATO members and Russia, quoted in [https://tvpworld.com/83295959/us-elections-trump-calls-allies-worse-than-enemies "Trump claims US is being exploited by allies, calls them ‘worse than enemies’"], ''TVP World'' (November 3, 2024) *Now I want to take this opportunity to give you some advice. Over the course of your life, you will find that things are not always fair, you will find that things happen to you that you do not deserve, and that are not always warranted, but you have to put your head down, and FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! Never ever ever give up, things will work out just fine. Look at the way I've been treated lately, especially by the media. No politician in history, and I say this is great surety, has been treated worse, more unfairly. You can't let them get you down, you can't let the critics, and the naysayers get in the way of your dream. I guess that's why I won, thank you. I guess that's why we won. Adversity makes you stronger, don't give in, don't back down, and never stop doing what you know is right. Nothing worth doing, ever ever ever came easy, and the more righteous you fight, the more opposition that you will face. I've accomplished a tremendous amount, in a very short time as president. **Speech (November 6, 2024){{fact}} *Any Republican Senator seeking the coveted LEADERSHIP position in the United States Senate must agree to Recess Appointments (in the Senate!), without which we will not be able to get people confirmed in a timely manner. Sometimes the votes can take two years, or more. This is what they did four years ago, and we cannot let it happen again. We need positions filled IMMEDIATELY! **[https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/trump-senate-majority-candidates-recess-appointments-rcna179515 Trump declares Senate majority candidates should allow him to make recess appointments] ''NBC News'' (November 10, 2024) ==== December 2024 ==== * I spoke to over 100 countries. You wouldn’t believe how many countries there are. ** 16 December 2024, [https://www.politico.com/news/2024/12/16/trump-defamation-polio-001230 Politico] and [https://edition.cnn.com/2024/12/17/politics/trump-honeymoon-analysis/index.html CNN] ===2025=== {| style="float:center; background:none;border: 1px solid silver;{{Border-radius|35px}}; margin:15px; background-color:#F6F6F6;color:var(--color-base-fixed,#202122);" |- |<div id="articlecount" style="width:100%; text-align:center; font-size:105%;"> 20 January 2025 [[File:Seal of the President of the United States.svg|20px]] - Donald Trump's 2nd presidency began</div> |- |} {{main|Second presidency of Donald Trump}} ====January 2025==== *I’d like Egypt to take people. You're talking about probably a million and a half people, and we just clean out that whole thing and say, 'You know, it's over.’ **Regarding what to do with the Palestinian refugees currently on the Gaza Strip, quoted in [https://www.npr.org/2025/01/26/g-s1-44831/trump-jordan-egypt-accept-more-refugees-just-clean-out-gaza Trump wants Jordan and Egypt to accept more refugees to 'just clean out' Gaza] ''NPR'' (January 26, 2025) *Because I have common sense, OK, and unfortunately a lot of people don't. **When asked how he could come to the conclusion that FAA diversity policies had something to do with the fatal air disaster at Reagan Washington National Airport, quoted in [https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/trump-evidence-appears-blame-faa-diversity-initiatives-factor/story?id=118272015 Trump goes on offensive against FAA diversity initiatives during DC crash briefing, prompts fierce backlash] ''ABC News'' (January 30, 2025) ====February 2025==== [[File:Trump - Long Live the King.jpg|thumb|Manhattan, and all of New York, is SAVED. LONG LIVE THE KING!]] *He who saves his Country does not violate any Law **15 February 2025 on [https://x.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1890831570535055759 X tweet] and ''Truth Social'', quoted in [https://www.the-independent.com/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-napoleon-saves-country-quote-rod-steiger-b2699102.html Trump suggests he’s above the law with ominous Napoleon quote] ''Independent'' (February 16, 2025) **A reference to a maxim attributed to [[Napoleon]] by [[Honoré de Balzac]], "Who saves his country violates no law" ("Celui qui sauve sa patrie ne viole aucune loi"). *The 14th Amendment Right of American Citizenship never had anything to do with modern day "gate crashers," illegal immigrants who break the Law by being in our Country, it had everything to do with giving Citizenship to former slaves. **16 February 2025 [https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/114014567906020636 post on TruthSocial], quoted same day by [https://nypost.com/2025/02/16/us-news/president-trump-sparks-meltdown-for-sharing-napoleon-quote/ Ryan King of New York Post] and [https://www.newsnationnow.com/politics/trump-14th-amendment-slaves-not-migrants/ Patrick Djordjevic of News Nation Now] *It’s called the Gulf of America now. It’s not called the Gulf of Mexico any longer. I have the right to do it. We are going to keep them out until such time that they agree it is the Gulf of America. **Referring to AP reporters being banned from the White House, referenced in [https://deadline.com/2025/02/trump-ap-gulf-of-mexico-1236294031/ Donald Trump Says White House Will Prohibit Associated Press From Events Until They Agree To Rename Gulf Of Mexico] ''Deadline'' (February 18, 2025) * I had an approval rating today of 71 and another one of 69. I have not heard of those numbers before. ** [https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/maddowblog/trump-generously-makes-approval-rating-defying-reality-rcna193139 "Trump generously makes up an approval rating for himself, defying reality"] ''MSNBC'' (February 21, 2025) ====March 2025==== *Wow, that's beautiful. This is a different panel than I've ever — '''everything's computer!''' **When inspecting a Tesla Model S at the White House; quoted from [https://www.businessinsider.com/donald-trump-tesla-model-s-review-everythings-computer-2025-3 Donald Trump reviews Tesla Model S: 'Everything's computer'] ''Business Insider'' (Mar 11, 2025) ====April 2025==== *I call it a lot of different names, but it's really, in a sense, it's a rebirth of a country because how we could have afforded to do what we did, we helped everybody and they don't help us. The term I like best probably is the liberation of America.<br>It's a liberation of this country because it's incredible. Look, we have 36 trillion in debt for a reason and that accumulates over a long period of time. What you're going to be seeing over the next couple of days will be very inspiring to a lot of people. **Regarding the round of tariffs expected to be enforced on most imported goods beginning April 2nd as referenced in [https://www.tribuneindia.com/news/united-states/trump-says-india-will-substantially-cut-tariffs-signals-major-us-tariff-moves/ "Trump says India will 'substantially' cut tariffs, signals major US tariff moves"] ''The Tribune'' (April 1, 2025) *We are going to be very nice, relatively speaking. We are going to be very kind....<br>Somebody said that about me the other day, who doesn’t know me very well. They said — ‘You are such a kind person’ and I said, ‘Say that again.’ They said, ‘You are a kind person.’ I said, ‘I’ve never heard that before.’ **Speaking on the severity of the tariffs as reported in [https://www.cnn.com/2025/04/01/politics/trump-tariffs-liberation-day-oval-office/index.html Trump has the world on edge as he mulls fateful tariffs decades in the making] ''CNN'' (April 1, 2025)[https://www.huffpost.com/entry/stephen-colbert-trump-weird-confession_n_67ece159e4b048fde6fe94e3] *THE OPERATION IS OVER! THE PATIENT LIVED, AND IS HEALING. THE PROGNOSIS IS THAT THE PATIENT WILL BE FAR STRONGER, BIGGER, BETTER, AND MORE RESILIENT THAN EVER BEFORE. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! **Posted on Truth Social following the implementation of sweeping tariffs as reported in [https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/world/us/us-and-world/the-operation-is-over-the-patient-lived-donald-trump-after-shaking-global-economies-with-us-tariffs/articleshow/119949495.cms ‘The operation is over, the patient lived’: Donald Trump after shaking global economies with US tariffs] ''The Times of India'' (April 3, 2025) *I think it's going very well. It was an operation, like when a patient gets operated on and it's a big thing. I said this would exactly be the way it is....<br>The markets are going to boom, the stock is going to boom, the country is going to boom, and the rest of the world wants to see is there any way they can make a deal. They've taken advantage of us for many, many years. For many years we've been at the wrong side of the ball. And I'll tell you what, I think it's going to be unbelievable. **When asked how things were going after a drop in the stock market the first day after Trump's tariff announcement as reported in [https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/trust-president-trump-white-house-defending-tariffs-amid/story?id=120449641 Trump says ‘it’s going very well’ after tariffs roil markets] ''ABC News'' (April 3, 2025) *TO THE MANY INVESTORS COMING INTO THE UNITED STATES AND INVESTING MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF MONEY, MY POLICIES WILL NEVER CHANGE. THIS IS A GREAT TIME TO GET RICH, RICHER THAN EVER BEFORE!!! **Posted on ''Truth Social'' following the announcement of his worldwide tariffs policy and the resulting sharp sell-off in the stock market a day later as reported in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/apr/04/trump-tariffs-truth-social Trump insists he won’t back down from global trade war as markets slump] ''The Guardian'' (April 4, 2025) *...We are bringing back jobs and businesses like never before. Already, more than FIVE TRILLION DOLLARS OF INVESTMENT, and rising fast! THIS IS AN ECONOMIC REVOLUTION, AND WE WILL WIN. HANG TOUGH, it won’t be easy, but the end result will be historic. We will, MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!! **[https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/114285375813275308 Truth Social] (April 5, 2025) *It's the only chance we're going to have to reset the table on trade, and when we do, we're going to come out unbelievably well. We're going to have a strong country economically again and we're going to have those factories that are empty all over the United States. **Indicating there would be no change of course regarding tariff plan, reported in [https://abc7chicago.com/post/donald-trump-tariff-formula-team-cites-chicago-economist-brent-neimans-work-he-says-math-doesnt-check/16141896/ Trump tariff team cites Chicago economist's work, but he says their math doesn't check out] ''ABC7 Chicago'' (April 7, 2025) *We’re dealing with them directly and maybe a deal is going to be made. Doing a deal would be preferable to doing the obvious.<br>Iran is going to be in great danger, and I hate to say it…. Iran cannot have a nuclear weapon, and if the talks aren’t successful, I think it’s going to be a very bad day for Iran. **Referring to upcoming talks with Iran about their nuclear capability, taken from [https://time.com/7275589/trump-iran-nuclear-program-talk/ Trump Says U.S. Will Have Direct Talks With Iran About Nuclear Program] ''TIME'' (April 7, 2025)[https://www.express.co.uk/news/world/2038962/us-could-be-bombing-iran] * There can be permanent tariffs and there can also be negotiations, because there are things that we need beyond tariffs. '''We need open borders.'''[https://www.yahoo.com/news/cognitive-decline-trump-calls-open-202617475.html] *I thought that people were jumping a little bit out of line. They were getting yippy. You know, they were getting a little bit yippy, a little bit afraid…. Over the last few days it looked pretty glum… You have to be flexible. You have to be able to show a little flexibility. And I'm able to do that. **Reasons given for pausing his tariff plan for 90 days for all countries except China, reported in [https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/trump-explains-dramatic-reversal-tariffs-people-bit-afraid/story?id=120651386 Trump explains dramatic reversal on tariffs: People getting 'a little bit afraid'] ''ABC News'' (April 9.2025) *I’m not asking for much ... but they can't have a nuclear weapon.<br>If it requires military, we're going to have military. Israel will, obviously, be ... the leader of that. No one leads us. We do what we want.<br>I don't want to be specific. But when you start talks, you know if they're going along well or not. And I would say the conclusion would be when I think they're not going along well. **[https://www.usnews.com/news/world/articles/2025-04-09/trump-repeats-threat-to-use-military-force-if-iran-does-not-agree-to-nuclear-deal Trump Repeats Threat to Use Military Force if Iran Does Not Agree to Nuclear Deal] ''US News'' (April 9, 2025) *In my case, I like to take a nice shower, take care of my beautiful hair.... I have to stand under the shower for 15 minutes until it gets wet. It comes out drip, drip, drip. It’s ridiculous. **While signing an executive order repealing limits to the flow of water to bathroom showers, taken from [https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2025/4/10/make-showers-great-again-why-trumps-fighting-bathroom-water-pressure ‘Make showers great again’: Why Trump’s fighting bathroom water pressure] ''Al Jazeera'' (April 10, 2025) *China wants to make a deal. They just don't know how quite to go about it. You know, it's one of those things they don't know quite. They're proud people and President Xi's a proud man. I know him very well. And they don't know quite how to go about it, but they'll figure it out. **Indicating he is waiting for China to call him regarding the recently imposed tariffs, reported in [https://www.pbs.org/weta/washingtonweek/video/2025/04/washington-week-with-the-atlantic-full-episode-41125 Washington Week with The Atlantic full episode, 4/11/25] ''Washington Week'' (April 11, 2025)[https://www.cnn.com/2025/04/10/politics/trump-xi-china-tariffs/index.html] *Homegrown criminals next. I said homegrowns are next, the homegrowns. You gotta build about five more [prisons]…. [The notorious Salvadoran mega-prison] is not big enough… If it's a homegrown criminal, I have no problem. Now we're studying the laws right now, Pam [Bondi] is studying. If we can do that, that's good…. And I'm talking about violent people. I'm talking about really bad people. Really bad people. Every bit as bad as the ones coming in. **Speaking to El Salvador's President Nayib Bukele, referring to US citizens accused of crimes being the next ones sent to Salvadoran prisons, reported in [https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/homegrowns-trump-doubles-sending-convicted-us-citizens-foreign/story?id=120802863 'Homegrowns are next': Trump doubles down on sending American 'criminals' to foreign prisons] ''ABC News'' (April 14, 2025) * Everyone knows that Harvard has “lost its way.” * Harvard has been hiring almost all woke, Radical Left, idiots and ‘birdbrains’ who are only capable of teaching FAILURE to students and so-called ‘future leaders * Harvard can no longer be considered even a decent place of learning, and should not be considered on any list of the World’s Great Universities or Colleges. Harvard is a JOKE, teaches Hate and Stupidity, and should no longer receive Federal Funds. ** [https://www.thefire.org/news/revoking-harvards-tax-exempt-status-will-threaten-all-nonprofits "Revoking Harvard’s tax-exempt status will threaten all nonprofits"], ''The Fire'' (April 18, 2025) * As you know, the cost of eggs has come down like 93, 94% since we took office. ** [https://edition.cnn.com/2025/04/23/politics/price-of-eggs-gas-trump-fact-check/index.html "Fact check: Trump lies about the price of eggs, groceries and gas"], ''CNN'' (April 23, 2025) *I am not happy with the Russian strikes on KYIV. Not necessary, and very bad timing. Vladimir, STOP! **Taken from ''Truth Social'' as reported in [https://abcnews.go.com/International/russia-launches-massive-deadly-strike-kyiv-ukrainian-authorities/story?id=121113739 'Vladimir, STOP!' Trump says to Putin after deadliest Russian strike on Kyiv in months] ''ABC News'' (April 24, 2025) *The first time, I had two things to do—run the country and survive; I had all these crooked guys. And the second time, I run the country and the world.” **In response to what felt different about his second term compared to the first, quoted in [https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2025/06/trump-second-term-comeback/682573/ ‘I RUN THE COUNTRY AND THE WORLD’ Donald Trump believes he’s invincible. But the cracks are beginning to show] ''The Atlantic'' (April 28, 2025) * Great Pollster John McLaughlin, one of the most highly respected in the industry, has just stated that The Failing New York Times Poll, and the ABC/Washington Post Poll, about a person named DONALD J. TRUMP, ME, are FAKE POLLS FROM FAKE NEWS ORGANIZATIONS. The New York Times has only 37% Trump 2024 voters, and the ABC/Washington Post Poll has only 34% Trump Voters, unheard of numbers unless looking for a negative result, which they are. These people should be investigated for ELECTION FRAUD, and add in the FoxNews Pollster while you’re at it. They are Negative Criminals who apologize to their subscribers and readers after I WIN ELECTIONS BIG, much bigger than their polls showed I would win, loose a lot of credibility, and then go on cheating and lying for the next cycle, only worse. They suffer from Trump Derangement Syndrome, and there is nothing that anyone, or anything, can do about it. THEY ARE SICK, almost only write negative stories about me no matter how well I am doing (99.9% at the Border, BEST NUMBER EVER!), AND ARE TRULY THE ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE! I wish them well, but will continue to fight to, MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! ** [https://www.axios.com/2025/04/28/trump-approval-ratings-slams-polls-truth-social "Trump lashes out against "fake polls" as his approval ratings sink"], ''Axios'' (April 28, 2025) * I am the candidate of peace. ** [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2025/apr/28/us-escalation-yemen-civilian-casualties "Trump promised peace but brings rapid increase in civilian casualties to Yemen"] ''The Guardian'' (April 28, 2025) [[File:Pope Trump AI by Donald Trump.png|thumb|I'd like to be [[pope]]. That would be my number one choice.]] * I'd like to be pope. That would be my number one choice. No — I don't know, I have no preference. I must say we have a cardinal that happens to be out of a place called New York who's very good. ** Response to being asked after the death of [[Pope Francis]] who he would like to be the next Pope (29 April 2025); as quoted in [https://www.npr.org/2025/05/04/nx-s1-5386516/catholic-leaders-criticize-trump-ai-pope-photo?utm_term=nprnews&utm_campaign=npr&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com "Catholic leaders criticize Trump for posting apparent AI photo of himself as the pope", ''NPR'' (4 May 2025)] *PRESIDENT TRUMP: (Referring to a photo of what was tattooed on Abrego Garcia's knuckles:) M-S-1-3 -- It says M-S-one-three.<br>INTERVIEWER TERRY MORAN: I -- that was Photoshop….<br>PRESIDENT TRUMP: That was Photoshop?… Do you want me to show the picture?<br>TERRY MORAN: I saw the picture. We'll agree to disagree --<br>PRESIDENT TRUMP: Oh, and you think it was Photoshop…. Go look at his hand. He had MS-13 --<br>TERRY MORAN: Fair enough, he did have tattoos that can be interpreted that way. I'm not an expert on them….<br>PRESIDENT TRUMP: Terry, no, no. No, no. He had MS as clear as you can be. Not "interpreted." This is why people no longer believe the news, because it's fake news.<br>TERRY MORAN: ...When he was photographed in El Salvador, they aren't there…. Take a look at the photograph —<br>PRESIDENT TRUMP: But they're there now, right?… But they're there now?<br>TERRY MORAN: They're in your picture.<br>PRESIDENT TRUMP: Terry He's got MS-13 on his knuckles…. you do such a disservice —<br>TERRY MORAN: We'll take a look. We'll take a look at that, sir —<br>PRESIDENT TRUMP: Why don't you just say, "Yes, he does," and, you know, go on to something else -- **[https://abcnews.go.com/US/full-transcript-trumps-exclusive-100-days-broadcast-interview/story?id=121291672 FULL TRANSCRIPT: Trump's exclusive 100 days broadcast interview with ABC News] ''ABC News'' (April 29, 2025)[https://www.yahoo.com/news/fact-check-trumps-photo-abrego-001600628.html] *Everybody's gonna be just fine. It wouldn't have been if I didn't do this. I had a choice. I could leave it, have a nice, easy time. But I think ultimately you would've had an implosion. Our country had inflation that was worse than they've ever had it before.<br>You don't mention that. Why don't you mention that? We had the worst inflation probably in the history of our country. People say 48 years, probably in the history of our country we had the worst inflation. And people were dying over the inflation. You know that. Now the grocery prices are coming down. The energy prices are coming down. Gasoline's coming down. It's all heading in the right direction. **In response to a question over the concern about the effect of the tariffs, taken from [https://abcnews.go.com/US/full-transcript-trumps-exclusive-100-days-broadcast-interview/story?id=121291672 FULL TRANSCRIPT: Trump's exclusive 100 days broadcast interview with ABC News] ''ABC News'' (April 29, 2025) *We're going to have something that you won't even believe. We will end inflation, slash prices. We've already ended inflation, raise wages, and give you the greatest economy in the history of the world. **[https://uk.news.yahoo.com/trump-teases-biggest-bill-ever-021733041.html Trump Teases 'Biggest Bill Ever Passed' and 'Military Supremacy' During Anniversary Rally] ''Yahoo! News'' (April 29, 2025) *This is Biden’s Stock Market, not Trump’s… I didn’t take over until January 20th. Tariffs will soon start kicking in, and companies are starting to move into the USA in record numbers…. Our Country will boom, but we have to get rid of the Biden 'Overhang. This will take a while, has NOTHING TO DO WITH TARIFFS, only that he left us with bad numbers, but when the boom begins, it will be like no other. BE PATIENT!!! **From Truth Social reported in [https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/trump-pins-stock-market-struggles-biden-weeks-taking-credit-rcna203702 Trump puts market struggles on Biden as economy shrinks under his watch] ''NBC News'' (April 30, 2025) *You probably saw some numbers today, and I have to start off by saying that’s Biden — that’s not Trump — because we came in on January. We came in and I was very against everything that Biden was doing in terms of the economy. … We took over his mess in so many different ways.<br>I’m not taking credit or discredit for the stock market. I’m just saying we inherited a mess…. We came in on Jan. 20, so this is Biden. And you can even say the next quarter is, sort of, Biden, because it doesn’t just happen on a daily or an hourly basis, but we’re turning it around. It’s a big ship to turn around. **In remarks during a meeting with his Cabinet, reported in [https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/trump-pins-stock-market-struggles-biden-weeks-taking-credit-rcna203702 Trump puts market struggles on Biden as economy shrinks under his watch] ''NBC News'' (April 30, 2025) *You know, somebody said, ‘Oh, the shelves are going to be open.’ Well, maybe the children will have two dolls instead of 30 dolls. So maybe the two dolls will cost a couple bucks more than they would normally. **More remarks during his Cabinet meeting, reported in [https://apnews.com/article/trump-economy-tariffs-gdp-7494825851dcef94ec81475124f9326f Trump says US kids may get ‘2 dolls instead of 30,’ but China will suffer more in a trade war] 'AP News' (April 30, 2025) ===== Liberation Day tariff announcements (2 April 2025) ===== Announced from the Rose Garden at the White House:[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/trumps-liberation-day-arrives-gambles-big-risky-tariff/story?id=120382209] [https://nypost.com/2025/04/02/us-news/trump-slaps-at-least-10-tariffs-on-all-imports-in-declaration-of-economic-independence-half-of-what-they-could-be] [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/donald-trump-tariffs-great-depression-fdr-b2726461.html][https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6uFW0gHwXU][https://singjupost.com/transcript-of-president-trump-remarks-at-liberation-day-event-april-2-2025/?singlepage=1] *My fellow Americans, this is Liberation Day… April 2nd, 2025, will forever be remembered as the day American industry was reborn, the day America's destiny was reclaimed and the day that we began to make America wealthy again. *For decades, our country has been looted, pillaged, raped and plundered by nations near and far, both friend and foe alike. * Taxpayers have been ripped off for more than 50 years, but it is not going to happen anymore. *This is one of the most important days, in my opinion, in American history. It’s our declaration of economic independence. …now it’s our turn to prosper and in so doing use trillions and trillions of dollars to reduce our taxes and pay down our national debt and it will all happen very quickly. With today’s action we are finally going to be able to make America great again, greater than ever before. *Jobs and factories will come roaring back into our country, and you see it happening already. We will supercharge our domestic industrial base. We will pry open foreign markets and break down foreign trade barriers. And ultimately, more production at home will mean stronger competition and lower prices for consumers. This will be indeed the golden age of America. It’s coming back and we’re going to come back very strongly. *From 1789 to 1913, we were a tariff-backed nation and the United States was proportionately the wealthiest it has ever been. So wealthy, in fact, that in the 1880s, they established a commission to decide what they were going to do with the vast sums of money they were collecting….<br>Then in 1913, for reasons unknown to mankind, they established the income tax so that citizens rather than foreign countries would start paying the money necessary to run our government. Then in 1929, it all came to a very abrupt end with the Great Depression, and it would have never happened if they had stayed with the tariff policy. It would have been a much different story.<br>They tried to bring back tariffs to save our country, but it was gone. It was gone. It was too late. Nothing could have been done. It took years and years to get out of that depression, far longer than even FDR had that office right over there for a long period of time. *We will charge them approximately half of what they are and have been charging us because we are being very kind. This is not full reciprocal. This is kind reciprocal. *In short, chronic trade deficits are no longer merely an economic problem. They're a national emergency that threatens our security and our very way of life. It's a very great threat to our country. *These tariffs are going to give us growth like you haven’t seen before. And it’ll be something very special to watch. ====May 2025==== [[File:AI Donald Trump Star Wars.jpg|thumb|You’re not [[w:Rebel Alliance|the Rebellion]] — you’re [[w:Galactic Empire (Star Wars)|the Empire]].]] *They all hated me in my first term, and now they’re kissing my ass. **Trump bragging about how tech moguls have warmed up to him, reported in [https://apnews.com/article/trump-alabama-commencement-address-protests-6bcea5b4058c819c26a8135b41d73dd1 Trump offers advice to University of Alabama graduates in speech interspersed with politics] 'AP News' (May 1, 2025) * The courts are trying to stop me from doing the job that I was elected to do. ** [https://edition.cnn.com/2025/05/02/politics/ketanji-brown-jackson-trump-judges "Politico: Ketanji Brown Jackson warns Trump’s rhetoric against judges are ‘attacks on our democracy’"] ''CNN'' (May 2, 2025) * [[w:Star Wars Day|Happy May the 4th]] to all, including the Radical Left Lunatics who are fighting so hard to to bring [[w:Sith|Sith Lords]], Murderers, Drug Lords, Dangerous Prisoners, & well known MS-13 Gang Members, back into our Galaxy. You’re not [[w:Rebel Alliance|the Rebellion]] — you’re [[w:Galactic Empire (Star Wars)|the Empire]]. <br /> May the 4th be with you. ** [https://x.com/WhiteHouse/status/1919053040734072844 Star Wars Day message on the Official WhiteHouse X account (4 May 2025)], accompanied by an AI generated image of Trump with a body-builder physique, wielding a [[w:Lightsaber|red lightsaber]] (which in [[Star Wars]] lore is emblematic of the often deceitful and profoundly evil [[w:Sith|Sith]] manifesting the "Dark side" of [[the Force]]). *<b>I don't know.</b> I have to respond by saying, again, I have brilliant lawyers that work for me, and they are going to obviously follow what the Supreme Court said. What you said is not what I heard the Supreme Court said. They have a different interpretation. **When asked whether he, as president, needs to abide by the Constitution and the rights it provides to people in the U.S., as reported in [https://www.npr.org/2025/05/04/g-s1-64239/does-a-president-need-to-uphold-the-constitution-trump-says-i-dont-know Does a president need to uphold the Constitution? Trump says 'I don't know'] ''NPR'' (May 4, 2025) *I think the good parts are the ‘Trump economy’ and the bad parts are the ‘Biden economy’ because he’s done a terrible job…. I was able to get down the costs. But even that, it takes a while to get them down. But we got them down good....<br>I’ve only just been here for a little more than three months. But the stock market, look at what’s happened in the last short period of time. Didn’t it have nine or 10 days in a row, or 11 days, where it’s gone up? And the tariffs have just started kicking in. And we’re doing really well. **In response to the question: ‘When does it become the Trump economy?’, quoted from [https://www.cnn.com/2025/05/04/business/trump-economy-tariffs-powell Trump says good parts of US economy are ‘Trump economy,’ bad parts are ‘Biden economy’] CNN (May 4 2025) * ‘Too Late’ Jerome Powell is a FOOL, who doesn’t have a clue. ** Claimed about the Chairman of the United States Federal Reserve, quoted in [https://www.cnbc.com/2025/05/08/trump-calls-fed-chair-jerome-powell-a-fool-after-central-bank-keeps-rates-steady.html "Trump calls Fed Chair Jerome Powell a ‘fool’ after central bank keeps rates steady"], ''CNBC'' (May 8, 2025) *(U.S. ports slowing down) means we lose less money, you know? When I see that, that means we lose less money…. And frankly if we didn’t do business (with China), we would have been better off. So, when you say it slowed down, that’s a good thing, not a bad thing. **Responding to a reporter saying that traffic at U.S. ports “has really slowed, and now thousands of dockworkers and truck drivers are worried about their jobs”, quoted in [https://www.yahoo.com/news/trump-exposes-own-idiocy-looming-171025385.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAAwAaX7rRwkUgizDt6XV1AOwYrv_ZMeBvHcxEMpvwsTm5lgFGs-RnNK7Brf0slvaI0V7WM6BAq1bFaEnDYKIOA9VnIsUr1OTy57i7_-oXYOG-Ti5H0ZkMgFatc6W-Oemxe82QXdtzNGQy_NC4PvCUlAd8MeWzovIDQhPgQAuh6I3 Trump Exposes Own Idiocy With Comment About Looming Shortages] ''Yahoo! News'' (May 8, 2025) *So the fact that the Defense Department is getting a GIFT, FREE OF CHARGE, of a 747 aircraft to replace the 40 year old Air Force One, temporarily, in a very public and transparent transaction, so bothers the Crooked Democrats that they insist we pay, TOP DOLLAR, for the plane. Anybody can do that! The Dems are World Class Losers!!! MAGA. **From ''Truth Social'' regarding a potential gift of a $400 million "palace in the sky" airplane from the Qatari government for Trump's use, reported in [https://thearabweekly.com/brewing-controversy-surrounds-qatars-intent-lavish-luxury-jet-trump Brewing controversy surrounds Qatar’s intent to lavish luxury jet on Trump] ''The Arab Weekly'' (May 12, 2025) *I think it's a great gesture from Qatar. I appreciate it very much. I would never be one to turn down that kind of an offer.<br>I mean, I could be a stupid person, say, 'No, we don't want a free, very expensive airplane.' I thought it was a great gesture.<br>…They're giving us a free jet. I could say, 'No, no, no, don't give us. I want to pay you a billion or $400 million, or whatever it is.' Or I could say, 'Thank you very much.' **Speaking to reporters at the White House regarding accepting a gift of a $400 million 747 airplane from Qatar, quoted in [https://www.axios.com/2025/05/12/trump-qatar-jet-free-plane-air-force-one Trump says it would be "stupid" not to accept free jet from Qatar] ''Axios'' (May 12, 2025) * European Union is in many ways nastier than China, okay. ** [https://www.politico.eu/article/trump-eu-nastier-than-china/ "Trump: The EU is ‘nastier than China’"], ''Politico'' (May 12, 2025) *Oh, what I do for the crown prince. The sanctions were brutal and crippling and served as an important, really an important function, nevertheless, at the time. But now it's their time to shine. **[https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/trump-heaps-praise-saudi-crown-prince-touts-economic/story?id=121758613 Trump heaps praise on Saudi Crown Prince MBS as he touts economic development] ''ABC News'' (May 13, 2025) * I see that Highly Overrated Bruce Springsteen goes to a Foreign Country to speak badly about the President of the United States. Never liked him, never liked his music, or his Radical Left Politics and, importantly, he's not a talented guy - Just a pushy, obnoxious JERK * Has anyone noticed that, since I said 'I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT,' she’s no longer 'HOT? ** [https://eu.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/celebrities/2025/05/16/trump-calls-bruce-springsteen-obnoxious-jerk/83671059007/ "Trump calls Bruce Springsteen 'obnoxious jerk' after singer voiced criticism at concert"], ''USA Today'' (May 16, 2025) *...The biggest crime of all is that THE 2020 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION WAS RIGGED! I (MAGA!) WON THE ELECTION BY MILLIONS OF VOTES, AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT. GOD BLESS AMERICA, FOR THE FIGHT HAS JUST BEGUN!!! **From ''Truth Social'' as reported in [https://www.mediaite.com/news/trump-goes-on-early-morning-ragefest-over-autopen-and-rigged-and-stolen-election/ Trump Goes On Early-Morning Ragefest Over ‘AUTOPEN’ And ‘RIGGED AND STOLEN’ Election] ''Mediaite'' (May 17, 2025) * They have a term, ‘grocery.’ It’s an old term, but it means basically what you’re buying: food. It’s a pretty accurate term, but it’s an old-fashioned sound, but groceries are down. * Costs are down, eggs are down. They were, first week they were hitting me with ‘Eggs were up 200%’ and now they’re down to a number that is amazing. We’re down 97, 98% from where they were. ** [https://www.yahoo.com/news/people-left-flabbergasted-trumps-explanation-213256638.html "People Left Flabbergasted By Trump's Explanation Of 1 English Word To UAE President"], ''Yahoo News / Huffington Post'' (May 15, 2025) * Walmart should STOP trying to blame Tariffs as the reason for raising prices throughout the chain. Walmart made BILLIONS OF DOLLARS last year, far more than expected. Between Walmart and China they should, as is said, “EAT THE TARIFFS,” and not charge valued customers ANYTHING. I’ll be watching, and so will your customers!!! ** [https://www.cnbc.com/2025/05/17/trump-tells-walmart-to-eat-the-tariffs.html "Trump tells Walmart to ‘eat the tariffs’ after retailer warned it will raise prices"], ''CNBC'' (May 17, 2025) *HOW MUCH DID KAMALA HARRIS PAY BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN FOR HIS POOR PERFORMANCE DURING HER CAMPAIGN FOR PRESIDENT? WHY DID HE ACCEPT THAT MONEY IF HE IS SUCH A FAN OF HERS? ISN’T THAT A MAJOR AND ILLEGAL CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTION? WHAT ABOUT BEYONCÉ? …AND HOW MUCH WENT TO OPRAH, AND BONO??? I am going to call for a major investigation into this matter....For these unpatriotic “entertainers,” this was just a CORRUPT & UNLAWFUL way to capitalize on a broken system. **From ''Truth Social'' as reported in [https://www.mediaite.com/news/trump-demands-major-investigation-into-springsteen-beyonce-oprah-for-backing-kamala-harris-corrupt-unlawful/ Trump Demands ‘Major Investigation’ Into Springsteen, Beyoncé, Oprah for Backing Kamala Harris: ‘CORRUPT & UNLAWFUL!’] ''Mediate'' (May 19, 2025) * HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY TO ALL, INCLUDING THE SCUM THAT SPENT THE LAST FOUR YEARS TRYING TO DESTROY OUR COUNTRY THROUGH WARPED RADICAL LEFT MINDS, WHO ALLOWED 21,000,000 MILLION PEOPLE TO ILLEGALLY ENTER OUR COUNTRY, MANY OF THEM BEING CRIMINALS AND THE MENTALLY INSANE,THROUGH AN OPEN BORDER THAT ONLY AN INCOMPETENT PRESIDENT WOULD APPROVE, AND THROUGH JUDGES WHO ARE ON A MISSION TO KEEP MURDERERS, DRUG DEALERS, RAPISTS, GANG MEMBERS, AND RELEASED PRISONERS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD, IN OUR COUNTRY SO THEY CAN ROB, MURDER, AND RAPE AGAIN — ALL PROTECTED BY THESE USA HATING JUDGES WHO SUFFER FROM AN IDEOLOGY THAT IS SICK, AND VERY DANGEROUS FOR OUR COUNTRY. HOPEFULLY THE UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT, AND OTHER GOOD AND COMPASSIONATE JUDGES THROUGHOUT THE LAND, WILL SAVE US FROM THE DECISIONS OF THE MONSTERS WHO WANT OUR COUNTRY TO GO TO HELL. BUT FEAR NOT, WE HAVE MADE GREAT PROGRESS OVER THE LAST 4 MONTHS, AND AMERICA WILL SOON BE SAFE AND GREAT AGAIN! AGAIN, HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY, AND GOD BLESS AMERICA! ** [https://www.yahoo.com/news/fact-check-trumps-memorial-day-154700630.html "Fact Check: Trump's Memorial Day message"] ''Yahoo News'' (May 27, 20205) * What Vladimir Putin doesn’t realize is that if it weren’t for me, lots of really bad things would have already happened to Russia, and I mean REALLY BAD. He’s playing with fire! ** [https://www.yahoo.com/news/trump-brags-shielding-putin-not-204644595.html "Trump Brags About Shielding Putin, And It’s Not Going Over Well On Social Media"] ''Huffington Post'' (May 27, 2025) * There is no #JoeBiden - executed in 2020. #Biden clones doubles & robotic engineered soulless mindless entities are what you see. Democrats dont know the difference. ** Social media posting shared by Donald Trump, quoted in [https://www.thedailybeast.com/donald-trump-shares-bonkers-conspiracy-theory-about-joe-biden-being-replaced-by-clones/ "Trump Shares Unhinged Conspiracy Theory That Biden Is a Robot Clone"], ''Daily Beast'' (May 31, 2025) ===== [https://www.newsweek.com/trump-advice-university-alabama-commencement-speech-2067054 Donald Trump Shares 11 Pieces of Advice at Rally-Style Commencement Speech] Newsweek (1 May 2025) ===== # "If you're here today and think that you're too young to do something great, let me tell you that you are wrong. You're not too young. You can have great success at a very young age ... In America, with drive and ambition, young people can do anything." # "You have to love what you do. You have to. I rarely see somebody that's successful that doesn't love what he or she does ... If I didn't find it fun, I wouldn't be successful." # "The third thing is to think big. If you're going to do something, you might as well think big. I know a lot of people, they've thought small, they were very smart. I know others that weren't nearly as smart, but they had a better picture of the big picture, because it's just as hard to solve a small problem as a big problem and it's just as much energy and everything else, except the result is going to be a smaller one. So love what you do and think big if it's possible." # "Work hard. Never, ever stop," Trump said, before mentioning pro golf legend Gary Player. The president said Player "wasn't as big as other men, he was on the small side ... but he worked very, very hard. He made up for it. He never stopped." # "Don't lose your momentum. You just want to keep it going. And you have to know, if you are losing it, you have to know when you are losing it, so maybe you stop and maybe it's time to stop. Listen to the feedback, think through your plan very carefully and keep moving fast." # "If you want to change the world, you have to have the courage to be an outsider. In other words, you have to take certain risks and do things a little bit differently; otherwise, if that were the case, everybody would be successful. Doesn't work that way. Progress never comes from those satisfied with the failures of a broken system; it comes from those who want to fix the broken system. If you want to go to the top, you're just never going to do it unless you break the system ... You really do, you have to break the system a little bit and follow your own instincts. But if your vision is right, nothing will hold you down. Nothing. You have to have the right vision." # "Trust your instincts. Common sense. You can go very far in life with common sense and I applied that to politics because some of these things, like, they had open borders. Let everybody in the whole world flow into our country. That's not common sense." # "Everybody should believe in the American dream. It's real, it's there and it's right before you." # "Think of yourself as a winner. The power of positive thinking. Don't consider yourself a victim. Consider yourself a winner. In recent years, too many of our young people have really been taught to think of themselves as victims and blame people and be angry. Don't be angry. In America, we reject that idea that anyone is born a victim. Our heroes are the ones who take charge of their own destiny, make their own luck and determine their own fate, despite the odds." # "Be an original," Trump said as his penultimate piece of advice for the graduating class. "The all-time greats were people who had the confidence to be a little different ... God only created one of you. Remember that. You're all different, some are close, but nobody is the same. You're one of a kind so don't try to be someone else. Just be yourself." # "Never, ever give up. Never give up. Don't stop. Never, ever give up. Victory is right around the corner." ==== June 2025 ==== *The horrific decision stated that I would have to get the approval of Congress for these Tariffs. In other words, hundreds of politicians would sit around D.C. for weeks, and even months, trying to come to a conclusion as to what to charge other Countries that are treating us unfairly. If allowed to stand, this would completely destroy Presidential Power — The Presidency would never be the same! **Regarding the Court of International Trade’s decision stating that tariffs must be approved by Congress according to the Constitution, as quoted in “Truth Social” and reported in [https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/maddowblog/congress-trade-tariffs-trump-gives-away-game-power-grab-rcna210366 On Congress and trade tariffs, Trump gives away the game about his power grab] ''MSNBC'' (June 2, 2025) * Because of Tariffs, our Economy is BOOMING! ** [https://www.thedailybeast.com/donald-trumps-brag-about-booming-economy-immediately-gets-a-humiliating-reality-check/ "Trump’s Brag About ‘BOOMING’ Economy Immediately Gets a Humiliating Reality Check"], ''Daily Beast'' (June 3, 2025) *That was not a pleasant day for you? **About the 1945 D-Day landings, to Chancellor of Germany Friedrich Merz, who replied "This was the liberation of my country from Nazi dictatorship." ([https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/germanys-chancellor-visits-trump-as-europes-alliance-with-u-s-is-fracturing June 5, 2025]) * The easiest way to save money in our Budget, Billions and Billions of dollars, is to terminate Elon's Governmental Subsidies and Contracts. I was always surprised that Biden didn't do it! ** [https://www.axios.com/2025/06/05/elon-musk-twitter-trump-epstein-files "How Trump and Musk's relationship exploded in real time over X, Truth Social"], ''Axios'' (June 5, 2025) *We want to wean off of FEMA and we want to bring it down to the state level — a little bit like education, we're moving it back to the states.<br>It has not worked out well. It's extremely expensive and, again, when you have a tornado or a hurricane or you have a problem of any kind, in a state, that's what you have governors for. They're supposed to fix those problems, and it's much more local and they'll develop a system, and it will be a great system. **[https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-fema-hurricane-season-wean-states/ Trump says his administration wants to "wean" states off FEMA aid after hurricane season] ''CBS News'' (June 11, 2025) * Remember eggs? We weren’t able to buy another egg for the next 20 years — they were so expensive, right? Eggs have come down 400%. ** [https://finance.yahoo.com/news/trump-says-everybody-eggs-now-154300576.html "Trump says ‘everybody has eggs now’ since prices have dropped a staggering 400%. But is his math scrambled?"] ''Yahoo Finance / Moneywise'' (June 12, 2025) * Please help me with my military parade. ** Written in a fundraising e-mail, quoted in [https://www.mediaite.com/media/tv/chris-hayes-cackles-at-trump-email-sorry-thats-a-funny-sentence/ "Chris Hayes Cackles at Trump Email: ‘Sorry, That’s a Funny Sentence’"], ''Mediaite'' (June 13, 2025) * President Putin called this morning to very nicely wish me a Happy Birthday ** Quoted in [https://www.mediaite.com/politics/trump/trump-says-putin-very-nicely-wished-him-happy-birthday-and-they-agreed-war-in-israel-iran-should-end-on-hour-long-call/ "Trump Says Putin ‘Very Nicely’ Wished Him Happy Birthday and They Agreed ‘War in Israel-Iran Should End’ on Hour-Long Call"], ''Mediaite'' (June 14, 2025) * We can easily get a deal done between Iran and Israel, and end this bloody conflict. ** [https://www.politico.eu/article/donald-trump-iran-retaliation-levels-never-seen-before/ "Trump threatens Iran with retaliation ‘at levels never seen before’"], ''Politico'' (June 15, 2025) *ICE Officers are herewith ordered, by notice of this TRUTH, to do all in their power to achieve the very important goal of delivering the single largest Mass Deportation Program in History.<br>In order to achieve this, we must expand efforts to detain and deport Illegal Aliens in America’s largest Cities, such as Los Angeles, Chicago, and New York, where Millions upon Millions of Illegal Aliens reside. These, and other such Cities, are the core of the Democrat Power Center, where they use Illegal Aliens to expand their Voter Base, cheat in Elections, and grow the Welfare State, robbing good paying Jobs and Benefits from Hardworking American Citizens. These radical left Democrats are sick of mind, hate our country and actually want to destroy our inner cities - and they are doing a good job of it! There is something wrong with them **From Truth Social reported in [https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/live-updates/trump-admin-updates-live/?id=122650591 Trump admin updates: Trump calls for expanded deportations in LA, NYC and more] ''ABC News'' (June 15, 2025) *I want them to focus on the cities because the cities are where you really have what's called sanctuary cities, and that's where the people are… Most of those people are in the cities, all blue cities, all Democrat-run cities, and they think they're going to use them to vote. It's not going to happen. **Speaking at the G7 Summit concerning the deportation of illegal aliens, reported in [https://www.cbs8.com/article/news/local/california/president-trump-orders-ice-to-target-democratic-run-cities/509-457960b7-63e1-4277-bc42-73d10918a0f4 Trump targets deportations in Democratic cities, sparks outrage in California] ''CBS8'' (June 16, 2025) *Well, considering that I’m the one that developed ‘America First,’ and considering that the term wasn’t used until I came along, I think I’m the one that decides that. **[https://www.msnbc.com/top-stories/latest/trump-america-first-iran-israel-strikes-rcna213299 Trump tries to redefine ‘America First’ in the face of MAGA backlash] ''MSNBC'' (June 16, 2025) *I think the governor of Minnesota is so whacked out. I'm not calling him. Why would I call him? I could call and say, 'Hi, how you doing?' Uh, the guy doesn't have a clue. He's a mess. I could be nice and call, but why waste time? **Explaining why he chose not to call Minnesota Governor [[Tim Walz]] following the political assassinations of state Representative [[Melissa Hortman]] (a Democrat) and her husband [https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/trump-call-walz-after-minnesota-shootings-calls-grossly/story?id=122870353 Trump says calling Walz after Minnesota shootings would be 'waste of time'] ''ABC News'' (June 17, 2025) * I don't believe in telephones. ** [https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14820045/Donald-Trump-G7-Iran-Air-Force-One.html "Donald Trump reveals the real reason he rushed home from the G7 in Canada while bombs fell on Tehran"] ''Daily Mail'' (June 17, 2025) *Let's have a good -- they call it a lifting. They also use another word, but I'm not gonna use that word. It starts with an E. Do you know what the word is? If I ever used it, I would be run out of town by you people. **While talking with reporters on the White House lawn, where he plans on installing two massive flagpoles, reported in [https://www.irishstar.com/news/us-news/trump-cracks-crude-genitalia-joke-35414899 Trump cracks crude genitalia joke at flagpole ceremony amid fears he'll be 'run out of town'] ''Irish Star'' (June 18, 2025) *My supporters are more in love with me today, and I'm more in love with them, more than they even were at election time where we had a total landslide…<br>I may have some people that are a little bit unhappy now, but I have some people that are very happy, and I have people outside of the base that can't believe that this is happening, they're so happy ... and there was a poll that just came out today and my approval rating’s the highest it’s ever been. **Speaking to reporters at the White House on the South Lawn, asked about supporters’ concerns regarding involvement in the Israel-Iran conflict quoted in [https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/wireStory/trump-supporters-love-involvement-iran-roils-maga-world-122978793 Trump says supporters are 'more in love' with him than ever, as involvement in Iran roils MAGA world] ''ABC News'' (June 18, 2025)[https://www.al.com/politics/2025/06/trump-claims-his-approval-rating-is-the-highest-its-ever-been-numbers-tell-a-different-story.html] * I may do it. I may not do it. Nobody knows what I'm going to do. ** Said about the possibility of attacking Iran, 18 June 2025. Quoted in Allan Little [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/czxww2kez0go How Trump is using the 'Madman Theory' to try to change the world (and it's working)] ''BBC News'' (July 6, 2025) * I stopped the war between Pakistan and India. ** Claimed without providing evidence, quoted in [https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/maddowblog/third-time-india-pushes-back-trumps-dubious-boasts-rcna213931 "For the third time, India pushes back against Trump’s dubious boasts"] ''MSNBC'' (June 19, 2025) *Zero Border crossings for the month for TRUMP, verses 60,000 for Sleepy, Crooked Joe Biden, a man who lost the 2020 Presidential Election by a “LANDSLIDE!” Biden was grossly incompetent, and the 2020 election was a total FRAUD! The evidence is MASSIVE and OVERWHELMING. A Special Prosecutor must be appointed. This cannot be allowed to happen again in the United States of America! **Taken from Truth Social post in [https://www.mediaite.com/politics/trump-calls-for-special-prosecutor-for-alleged-election-fraud-in-2020-claiming-he-won-in-a-landslide/ Trump Calls for Special Prosecutor for Alleged Election Fraud in 2020 — Claiming He Won in a ‘LANDSLIDE!’] ''Mediaite'' (June 20, 2025) *It’s not politically correct to use the term, ‘Regime Change’, but if the current Iranian Regime is unable to MAKE IRAN GREAT AGAIN, why wouldn’t there be a Regime change? MIGA!!! **''Truth Social'' posting, reported in [https://www.telegraph.co.uk/us/news/2025/06/23/trump-agitates-for-iran-regime-change/ Trump agitates for regime change to ‘make Iran great again’] ''The Telegraph'' (June 22, 2025) *CONGRATULATIONS TO EVERYONE! It has been fully agreed by and between Israel and Iran that there will be a Complete and Total CEASEFIRE (in approximately 6 hours from now, when Israel and Iran have wound down and completed their in progress, final missions!), for 12 hours, at which point the War will be considered, ENDED! During each CEASEFIRE, the other side will remain PEACEFUL and RESPECTFUL. On the assumption that everything works as it should, which it will, I would like to congratulate both Countries, Israel and Iran, on having the Stamina, Courage, and Intelligence to end, what should be called, “THE 12 DAY WAR”. **Truth Social post reported in [https://www.cnbc.com/2025/06/23/iran-qatar-iraq-attacks-us-israel.html Trump announces Israel-Iran ceasefire timeline he says will end the war: Live updates] ''CNBC'' (June 23, 2025)[https://www.salon.com/2025/06/23/the-12-day-war-says-israel-iran-have-reached-tentative-ceasefire-agreement/] * Israel, as soon as we made the deal they came out and they dropped a load of bombs, the likes of which I’ve never seen before.<br>I’m not happy with Israel. You know, when I say, ‘OK now you have 12 hours,’ you don’t go out to the first hour, just drop everything you have on, so I’m not happy with them. I’m not happy with Iran either.<br>ISRAEL. DO NOT DROP THOSE BOMBS. IF YOU DO IT IS A MAJOR VIOLATION. BRING YOUR PILOTS HOME, NOW! ** [https://edition.cnn.com/world/live-news/israel-iran-conflict-us-trump-06-24-25-intl-hnk#cmcaf5mst00003b6prm250209 "Trump lashes out at Israel as his Middle East truce appears to falter"] ''CNN'' (June 24, 2025) * ''About Israel and Iran:'' : I don’t believe they will ever be shooting at each other again. :* [https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/trump-expects-israel-iran-ceasefire-last-forever-rcna214660 "Trump says he expects the Israel-Iran ceasefire will last 'forever'"] ''NBC News'' (June 24, 2025) * We have no inflation. ** Claimed without providing evidence, quoted in [https://edition.cnn.com/2025/06/25/politics/fact-check-trump-nato-conference "Fact-checking Trump’s NATO news conference"] ''CNN'' (June 25, 2025) * I've talked to Putin a lot and he's actually been very kind. ** [https://www.gazetaexpress.com/en/He%27s-a-good-guy.-Trump-announces-talks-with-Zelensky--praises-Putin-as-very-kind./ "'He's a good guy': Trump announces talks with Zelensky, praises Putin as 'very kind'"] ''Gazeta Express'' (June 25, 2025) ==== July 2025 ==== * This bill rescues over 2 billion family farms from the so-called estate tax or the death tax. ** Claimed about the "Big Beautiful Bill", quoted in [https://www.irishstar.com/news/us-news/trump-loses-it-claims-2-35498032 "Trump 'loses it' as he claims 2 billion farms have been rescued then outright lies over taxes"] ''Irish Star'' (July 3, 2025) * ''Claimed about his "big beautiful bill":'' : It’s the most popular bill ever signed in the history of our country, whether you’re military or anybody else, this is the most single most popular bill ever signed, :* [https://edition.cnn.com/2025/07/04/politics/fact-check-trump-bill-unpopular "Fact check: Trump falsely claims his highly unpopular big bill is the ‘single most popular bill ever signed’"] ''CNN'' (July 4, 2025) *We made promises, and it’s really promises made, promises kept, and we’ve kept them. There’s a triumph of democracy on the birthday of democracy, and I have to say that the people are happy. **After signing the One Big Beautiful Bill into law [https://www.cnn.com/2025/07/04/politics/donald-trump-policy-bill-celebration Trump signs his agenda bill, with a flyover and fireworks to mark the occasion] ''CNN'' (July 4, 2025) *I would say firm, but not 100% firm. **When asked by a reporter whether the new August 1st tariff date was a hard deadline, quoted in [https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cd0vkl31085o US delays higher tariffs but announces new taxes for some countries] ''BBC'' (July 7, 2025) *Are you still talking about Jeffrey Epstein? This guy’s been talked about for years…. Are people still talking about this guy? This creep? That is unbelievable.<br>I can’t believe you’re asking a question on Epstein at a time like this, when we’re having some of the greatest success and also tragedy with what happened in Texas. It just seems like a desecration. **Responding to a reporter’s question to Attorney General Pam Bondi regarding Jeffrey Epstein, quoted in [https://uk.news.yahoo.com/trump-questions-why-people-talking-164717536.html Trump questions why people are talking about ‘creep’ Epstein - despite his push to release the files ] ''Yahoo News'' (July 8, 2025) *If a communist gets elected to run New York, it can never be the same, but we have tremendous power at the White House to run places when we have to.<br>New York City will run properly. We’re going to bring New York back. **After warning against the prospect of Zohran Mamdani winning the New York mayor’s race, quoted in [https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2025-07-08/trump-says-he-s-weighing-federal-takeover-of-washington-dc Trump Says He’s Weighing Federal Takeover of Washington, DC] ''Bloomberg'' (July 8, 2025)[https://archive.is/317Oy#selection-1147.0-1147.59] *TARIFFS WILL START BEING PAID ON AUGUST 1, 2025. There has been no change to this date, and there will be no change. In other words, all money will be due and payable starting AUGUST 1, 2025 — No extensions will be granted. **From ''Truth Social'', quoted in [https://www.nbcnews.com/business/business-news/trump-threatens-no-extensions-aug-1-tariff-deadline-what-countries-rcna217536 Trump threatens 'no extensions' on new Aug. 1 tariff deadline, warns of higher import taxes] ''NBC News'' (July 8, 2025) *We’re on one Team, MAGA, and I don’t like what’s happening. We have a PERFECT Administration, THE TALK OF THE WORLD, and “selfish people” are trying to hurt it, all over a guy who never dies, Jeffrey Epstein….One year ago our Country was DEAD, now it’s the “HOTTEST” Country anywhere in the World. Let’s keep it that way, and not waste Time and Energy on Jeffrey Epstein, somebody that nobody cares about. **From ''Truth Social'', quoted in [https://www.cnn.com/2025/07/12/politics/bondi-epstein-investigation-trump Trump defends Bondi amid MAGA fallout over her handling of Epstein investigation] ''CNN'' (July 13, 2025)[https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/114842356238631061] *I speak to him a lot about getting this thing done. And I always hang up and say, well, that was a nice phone call. And then missiles are launched into Kyiv or some other city. And I said, strange. And after that happens three or four times, you say the talk doesn't mean anything. **Referring to his conversations with Russian President Vladimir Putin regarding ending the Russia-Ukraine war, quoted in [https://www.npr.org/transcripts/nx-s1-5467304 Trump announces new weapon plan for Ukraine, threatens Russia with tariffs] ''NPR'' (July 14, 2025) *Very good. Because I won. It's good to win. You heard I won, right? Did you hear I won? I like to win. **When asked how the golf tournament was after winning the Senior Club Championship at his course outside of West Palm Beach, Florida [https://www.palmbeachpost.com/story/news/trump/2025/07/14/trump-golf-championship-new-jersey-bedminster/85190196007/ Trump claims another golf championship, his fifth this year, at his New Jersey club] ''The Palm Beach Post'' (July 14, 2025) * I go home, I tell the first lady, ‘I spoke to Vladimir today, we had a wonderful conversation.’ And she says, ‘Oh really, another city was just hit’ ** Donald Trump, quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/melania-trump-russia-ukraine-b2789171.html "How Melania Trump emerged as one of Zelensky’s key allies in the White House"] ''The Independent'' (July 15, 2025) * No, no. She's [Pam Bondi] uh, she's given us just a very quick briefing. And in terms of the credibility of the various things that they've seen. And I would say that, you know, these files [Jeffrey Epstein files] were made up by Comey, they were made up by Obama, they were made up but, the Biden, uh, you know, and we went through years of that. ** Donald Trump answering a reporter's question on wether Donald Trump's name appeared in the Jeffrey Epstein files. [https://apnews.com/article/trump-epstein-conspiracy-theories-bondi-bongino-fbi-a143076353acbc1193cb9697e7fc4a90 With Epstein conspiracy theories, Trump faces a crisis of his own making] [[File:Epstein Final Mugshot.png|thumb|I have had more [[success]] in 6 months than perhaps any [[President]] in our Country’s [[history]], and all these [[people]] want to talk about, with strong prodding by the [[Fake news|Fake News]] and the success starved [[Democratic Party (United States)|Dems]], is the [[Jeffrey Epstein]] Hoax.]] *The Radical Left Democrats have hit pay dirt, again! Just like with the FAKE and fully discredited Steele Dossier, the lying 51 “Intelligence” Agents, the Laptop from Hell, which the Dems swore had come from Russia (No, it came from Hunter Biden’s bathroom!), and even the Russia, Russia, Russia Scam itself, a totally fake and made up story used in order to hide Crooked Hillary Clinton’s big loss in the 2016 Presidential Election, these Scams and Hoaxes are all the Democrats are good at… Their new SCAM is what we will forever call the Jeffrey Epstein Hoax, and my PAST supporters have bought into this “bullshit,” hook, line, and sinker. They haven’t learned their lesson, and probably never will, even after being conned by the Lunatic Left for 8 long years. I have had more success in 6 months than perhaps any President in our Country’s history, and all these people want to talk about, with strong prodding by the Fake News and the success starved Dems, is the Jeffrey Epstein Hoax. Let these weaklings continue forward and do the Democrats work, don’t even think about talking of our incredible and unprecedented success, because I don’t want their support anymore! **''Truth Social'' post cutting ties with any MAGA supporters who still want answers in the Jeffrey Epstein investigation, reported in [https://www.mediaite.com/media/news/trump-melts-down-over-epstein-hoax-slams-supporters-who-believe-this-bullsht-i-dont-want-their-support-anymore/ Trump Melts Down Over Epstein ‘Hoax,’ Slams Supporters Who Believe ‘This Bullsh*t’: ‘I Don’t Want Their Support Anymore!’] ''Mediaite'' (July 16, 2025) *I know it’s a hoax. It was started by Democrats. It’s been run by the Democrats for four years ... it’s perpetrated by the Democrats and some stupid Republicans and foolish Republicans fall into the net, and so they try and do the Democrats’ work. **When asked by a reporter if he has evidence to support his claim that the fervor over Jeffrey Epstein, who died from suicide in a Manhattan jail cell during his first term, is part of a Democratic “hoax” against him, reported in [https://www.the-independent.com/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-epstein-file-response-republicans-b2790269.html Trump attacks ‘stupid Republicans’ for wanting Epstein files released] ''Independent'' (July 16, 2025) *No, no, she's -- she's given us just a very quick briefing. And in terms of the credibility of the different things that they've seen, and I would say that, you know, these files were made up by Comey, they were made up by Obama, they were made up by the Biden -- and you know, we and we went through years of that with the Russia, Russia, Russia hoax, with all of the different things that we had to go through. **When asked by a reporter if Pam Bondi told him his name appeared in the Epstein files [https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/world/us/whatever-she-thinks-is-credible-trump-reacts-again-on-epstein-files-says-pam-bondi-has-handled-it-very-well/articleshow/122535035.cms 'Whatever she thinks is credible': Trump reacts again on Epstein files; says Pam Bondi has 'handled it very well'] ''Times of India'' (July 16, 2025) *He’s a terrible Fed chair. I was surprised he was appointed. I was surprised, frankly, that Biden put him in and extended him. **Regarding Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell whom Donald Trump appointed in 2017 [https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/maddowblog/trump-says-was-surprised-jerome-powell-fed-chair-appointed-was-appoint-rcna219162 Trump says he was surprised that Jerome Powell, the Fed chair he appointed, was appointed] MSNBC (July 16, 2025) *I have asked the Justice Department to release all Grand Jury testimony with respect to Jeffrey Epstein, subject only to Court Approval. With that being said, and even if the Court gave its full and unwavering approval, nothing will be good enough for the troublemakers and radical left lunatics making the request. It will always be more, more, more. **From ''Truth Social'' reported in [https://dnyuz.com/2025/07/19/trump-savages-lunatics-demanding-epstein-files-release/ Trump Savages ‘Lunatics’ Demanding Epstein Files Release] ''DNYUZ'' (July 19, 2025) * We’re gonna get the drug prices down — not 30% or 40%, which would be great. Not 50% or 60%. No, we’re gonna get them down 1,000%, 600%, 500%, 1,500%. * Something that nobody else can do. * Numbers that are not even thought to be achievable. ** [https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/maddowblog/prescription-drug-costs-trump-flunks-arithmetic-embarrassing-fashion-rcna220508 "On prescription drug costs, Trump flunks arithmetic in embarrassing fashion"] ''MSNBC'' (July 23, 2025) * Every time they give you a question that's not appropriate, just say 'by the way, Obama cheated on the election.' ** [https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/mikey-smith-8-unhinged-donald-35606610 "MIKEY SMITH: 8 unhinged Donald Trump moments as he scrambles to distract from Epstein scandal"] ''Mirror'' (July 23, 2025) *I never had the privilege of going to his island, and I did turn him down. But a lot of people in Palm Beach were invited to his island. In one of my very good moments, I turned it down. I didn’t want to go to his island. **In reference to the late Jeffrey Epstein's island where underage girls were made available to Epstein and his guests [https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/5423583-trump-rejects-epstein-island-offer/ Trump says he turned down offer to go to Epstein island: ‘One of my very good moments’] ''The Hill'' (July 28, 2025) * I'm not a fan of your mayor. I think he's done a terrible job, the mayor of London... a nasty person. ** [https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cx2q5pjk4zko "Trump takes another swipe at London's mayor"] ''BBC'' (July 28, 2025) * We stopped about five wars. ** Claimed without providing details or evidence, quoted in [https://www.foxnews.com/politics/trump-boasts-he-stopped-about-five-wars-while-opening-new-scotland-golf-course-vows-work-with-netanyahu "Trump boasts he 'stopped about five wars' while opening new Scotland golf course, vows to work with Netanyahu"] ''FOX News'' (July 29, 2025) * I know better than anybody about sanctions and tariffs and everything else. ** [https://edition.cnn.com/2025/07/31/politics/russia-sanctions-trump-witkoff-ukraine "Trump says Witkoff will travel to Russia, affirms plans for new sanctions"] ''CNN'' (July 31, 2025) *Tariffs are making America GREAT & RICH Again... Now the tide has completely turned, and America has successfully countered this onslaught of Tariffs used against it. ONE YEAR AGO, AMERICA WAS A DEAD COUNTRY, NOW IT IS THE “HOTTEST” COUNTRY ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD. CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL! **From ''Truth Social'', reported in [https://www.scrippsnews.com/politics/with-trade-deadline-nearing-court-case-could-define-trumps-tariff-authority With trade deadline nearing, court case could define Trump's tariff authority] ''Scripps News'' (July 31, 2025) * They've wanted [[w:White House State Ballroom|a ballroom at the White House]] for more than 150 years, but there's never been a president that was good at ballrooms. I'm really good. **On the White House ballroom project (31 July 2025), as quoted in [https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/trump-white-house-ballroom-construction/ "Trump said new White House ballroom construction wouldn't 'interfere with the current building'" by Joey Esposito, ''Snopes'' (21 October 2025)]; also in [https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/trump-building-new-200-million-ballroom-white-house/story?id=124254902 "Trump is building a new $200 million ballroom at the White House" ''ABC News'' (July 31, 2025)] ==== August 2025 ==== *I was just informed that our Country’s ‘Jobs Numbers’ are being produced by a Biden Appointee, Dr. Erika McEntarfer, the Commissioner of Labor Statistics, who faked the Jobs Numbers before the Election to try and boost Kamala’s [Harris’] chances of Victory... We need accurate Jobs Numbers. I have directed my Team to fire this Biden Political Appointee, IMMEDIATELY. She will be replaced with someone much more competent and qualified. **Fires the Bureau of Labor Statistics commissioner, Erika McEntarfer, in a ''Truth Social'' post immediately after the agency reported job growth in the U.S. had slowed to a near-halt, reported in [https://www.cnbc.com/2025/08/01/trump-erika-mcentarfer-jobs-report-fired.html Trump fires commissioner of labor statistics after weaker-than-expected jobs figures slam markets] ''CNBC'' (August 1st, 2025) *If Sydney Sweeney is a registered Republican, I think her ad is fantastic. **[https://deadline.com/2025/08/donald-trump-sydney-sweeneys-american-eagle-ads-1236477752/ Trump Hails Sydney Sweeney’s American Eagle Ads After Reports Actress Is Registered Republican] ''Deadline'' (August 4, 2025) * One of the things they're going to be talking about pretty soon are the tremendous drop in drug prices. You know, we've cut drug prices by 1,200, 1,300, 1,400, 1,500 percent. I don't mean 50 percent. I mean 14-, 1,500 percent. ** [https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-doubles-down-impossible-drug-price-cuts-2108365 "Donald Trump Doubles Down on Mathematically Impossible Drug Price Cuts"] ''Newsweek'' (August 4, 2025) *We have an opportunity in Texas to pick up five [congressional] seats. We have a really good governor, and we have good people in Texas. And I won Texas. I got the highest vote in the history of Texas, as you probably know, and we are entitled to five more seats. **Regarding the recently proposed congressional state map that, if passed by the state’s legislature, would boost the Republican party’s chances of maintaining control of the House in the 2026 midterms [https://www.politico.com/news/2025/08/05/trump-texas-redistricting-00493624 Trump on Texas redistricting: ‘We are entitled to 5 more seats’] ''Politico'' (August 5, 2025) * I have poll numbers where I’m 71 percent. I have the best poll numbers. * Among Republicans, 94 and 95 percent. * Fox gives me terrible polls all the time, you know, they do nothing, but they… I’ve never had a good poll with Fox. ** [https://www.mediaite.com/media/tv/trump-loses-it-on-cnbc-when-hosts-fact-check-insane-approval-rating-whopper-nbc-is-the-worst/ "Trump Loses It on CNBC When Hosts Fact Check Insane Approval Rating Whopper: NBC Is the ‘Worst’"] ''Mediaite'' (August 5, 2025) *And that’s a gift. That’s not like, you know, a loan, by the way. That’s not a loan that, ‘Oh, gee, three years comes up. We have to pay it back.’ There’s nothing to pay back. They gave us $600 billion that we can invest in anything we want. ... [T]here are no details. The details are $600 billion to invest in anything I want. Anything. I can do anything I want. **Claiming the European Union was giving the United States a $600 billion gift that turned out to be untrue [https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/maddowblog/trumps-claim-600-billion-gift-european-union-quietly-falls-apart-rcna226564 Trump’s claim about a $600 billion ‘gift’ from the European Union quietly falls apart] ''MSNBC'' (August 5, 2025)[https://www.cnbc.com/2025/08/05/cnbc-transcript-president-of-the-united-states-donald-trump-speaks-with-cnbcs-squawk-box-today-.html] *I have to say that somebody from DOGE was very badly hurt… A young man who was beat up by a bunch of thugs in DC, and either they’re gonna straighten their act out in the terms of government and in terms of protection or we’re gonna have to federalize and run it the way it’s supposed to be run. **[https://www.cnn.com/2025/08/06/politics/trump-federal-take-over-dc-doge-coristine-assault Trump reignites threat to take over DC after former DOGE worker assaulted in attempted carjacking] ''CNN'' (August 6, 2025) * [[Stephen Colbert | Colbert]] has no talent. I mean, I could take anybody here. I could go outside in the beautiful streets and pick a couple of people that do just as well or better. They’d get higher ratings than he did. He’s got no talent.<br>[[Jimmy Fallon | Fallon]] has no talent. [[Jimmy Kimmel | Kimmel]] has no talent. They’re next. They’re going to be going. I hear they’re going to be going. I don’t know, but I would imagine because they’d get—you know, Colbert has better ratings than Kimmel or Fallon. * It’s really good to see them go, and I hope I played a major part in it! ** Claimed after the popular late night show hosts and comedians criticised the policies of Trump, quoted in [https://nypost.com/2025/08/07/media/trump-repeats-claim-kimmel-fallon-are-next-after-stephen-colbert-cancellation/ "Trump repeats claim Kimmel, Fallon are ‘next’ after Stephen Colbert cancellation"] ''New York Post'' (August 7, 2025) * IT'S MIDNIGHT! BILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN TARIFFS ARE NOW FLOWING INTO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA! ** Claimed about tariffs paid by US importers, quoted in [https://www.nbcnews.com/business/business-news/trump-tariffs-latest-round-takes-effect-thursday-august-7-2025-rcna223461 "New tariffs snap into effect, raising import taxes to highest level since Great Depression"] ''NBC News'' (August 7, 2025) *…I direct the Secretary of Defense to mobilize the District of Columbia National Guard and order members to active service, in such numbers as he deems necessary, to address the epidemic of crime in our Nation’s capital.  The mobilization and duration of duty shall remain in effect until I determine that conditions of law and order have been restored in the District of Columbia. **[https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/2025/08/restoring-law-and-order-in-the-district-of-columbia/ RESTORING LAW AND ORDER IN THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA] The White House (August 11, 2025) *This is liberation day in D.C. and we’re going to take our capital back. We’re taking it back. Under the authorities vested in me as the president of the United States, I’m officially invoking section 740 of the District of Columbia Home Rule Act — you know what that is — and placing the D.C. Metropolitan Police Department under direct federal control. **[https://ca.news.yahoo.com/trump-places-dc-police-under-151649421.html Trump Places DC Police Under Federal Control: ‘We’re Going to Take Our Capital Back’] ''Yahoo News'' (August 11, 2025) *See, they fight back until you knock the hell out of them, because it’s the only language they understand...<br>You spit and we hit. And they’re standing there and people are spitting in their face and they’re not allowed to do anything. But <b>now they are allowed to do whatever the hell they want</b>. **Giving police permission to use whatever means of violence they want against Washington DC citizens, reported in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-takeover-dc-police-crime-b2807175.html Trump told cops to do ‘whatever the hell they want’ to fix DC. Here’s why that’s ‘extremely dangerous’] ''Independent'' (August 11, 2025) * I don’t like being up here, talking about how unsafe and how dirty and disgusting this once-beautiful capital was. ** [https://au.news.yahoo.com/trump-mistook-alaska-russia-yes-192134848.html "Trump Thought Alaska Was Russia, And The Internet Is Having An Absolute Field Day With It"] ''Yahoo News / Buzzfeed'' (August 11, 2025) * I’m going to see Putin. I’m going to Russia on Friday. ** [https://www.the-independent.com/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-putin-meeting-russia-alaska-ukraine-war-b2805880.html "‘I’m going to Russia’: Trump appears to forget Alaska is in US as he frets over facing Putin"] ''The Independent'' (August 12, 2025) *Our Economy is booming, and E.J. will ensure that the Numbers released are HONEST and ACCURATE. **Regarding his nomination of economist and contributor to Project 2025, E.J. Antoni, as the new Bureau of Labor Statistics commissioner [https://www.reuters.com/world/us/trump-picks-heritage-economist-antoni-lead-us-labor-statistics-agency-2025-08-11/ Trump picks Heritage economist Antoni to lead US labor statistics agency] ''Reuters'' (August 12, 2025) *There’s no deal until there’s a deal. **After meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin in Anchorage, Alaska regarding ending the Russia-Ukraine War, [https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/live-blog/trump-putin-summit-alaska-ukraine-war-russia-peace-live-updates-rcna224983 Trump-Putin summit ends without a deal on Ukraine] ''NBC News'' (August 15, 2025) * Vladimir Putin said something – one of the most interesting things. He said: ‘Your election was rigged because you have [[w:Postal voting | mail-in voting]] … No country has mail-in voting. It’s impossible to have mail-in voting and have honest elections.’* ** [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/aug/16/love-in-a-cold-climate-putin-romances-trump-in-alaska-with-talk-of-rigged-elections-and-a-trip-to-moscow "Love in a cold climate: Putin romances Trump in Alaska with talk of rigged elections and a trip to Moscow"] ''The Guardian'' (August 16, 2025) * I want to see a ceasefire rapidly. I don’t know if it’s going to be today. But I’m not going to be happy if it’s not today. ** Said about the ongoing Russian warfare against Ukraine, quoted in [https://time.com/7309902/trump-putin-meeting-ultimatum-ceasefire-talks/ "Trump Says No Deal Reached With Putin as Alaska Summit Ends Earlier Than Expected"] ''Time Magazine'' (August 16, 2025) * If I got Russia to give up Moscow as part of the Deal, the Fake News, and their PARTNER, the Radical Left Democrats, would say I made a terrible mistake and a very bad deal. That’s why they are the FAKE NEWS! ** [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/donald-trump-if-i-got-russia-to-give-up-moscow-truth-social_n_68a1df07e4b07702299b5342 "Trump Writes Post About Moscow That's Absurd Even For Him"] ''Huffington Post'' (August 17, 2025) * The very unattractive (both inside and out!) Senator from Connecticut, Chris Murphy, said ‘Putin got everything that he wanted.’ Actually, ‘nobody got anything,’ too soon, but getting close. Murphy is a lightweight who thinks it made the Russian President look good in coming to America. : Actually, it was very hard for President Putin to do so. This war can be ended, NOW, but stupid people like Chris Murphy, John Bolton, and others, make it much harder to do so. :* [https://www.foxnews.com/politics/trump-blasts-lightweight-dem-senator-who-criticized-putin-summit-alaska-stupid "Trump blasts 'lightweight' Dem senator who criticized Putin summit in Alaska: 'Stupid'"] ''FOX News'' (August 18, 2025) [[File:Scourged back by McPherson & Oliver, 1863, colourised.jpg|thumb|[[Smithsonian Institution|The Smithsonian]] is OUT OF [[Control|CONTROL]], where everything discussed is how horrible [[United States|our Country]] is, how [[bad]] [[Slavery]] was, and how unaccomplished [[Oppression|the downtrodden]] have been — [[Nothing]] about [[Success]], nothing about Brightness, nothing about the [[Future]].]] * The Fake News has been saying for 3 days that I suffered a ‘major defeat’ by allowing President Vladimir Putin of Russia to have a major Summit in the United States. Actually, he would have loved doing the meeting anywhere else but the U.S., and the Fake News knows this. ** Claimed about Vladimir Putin, who is subject to an [https://www.icc-cpi.int/news/situation-ukraine-icc-judges-issue-arrest-warrants-against-vladimir-vladimirovich-putin-and arrest warrant] that in most of the developed, democratic countries would have made him be arrested and sent to the International Criminal Court in Hague for prosecution for war crimes. Quoted in [https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/5457134-trump-putin-summit-criticism/ "Trump criticizes ‘fake news,’ Democrat, Zelensky in series of posts"] ''The Hill'' (August 17, 2025) * ''Said about Melania Trump and the son that Donald and Melania have together:'' : She’s got a great love of children, she has a wonderful son that she loves probably more than anybody, including me, I hate to say it, :* [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/donald-trump-melania-barron-b2809877.html "Trump admits that Melania loves Barron more than him: ‘I hate to say it’"] ''Independent'' (August 18, 2025) * Bela ** [https://www.ndtv.com/offbeat/a-new-covfefe-donald-trumps-latest-one-word-post-confuses-internet-9105612 "A New Covfefe? Donald Trump's Latest One-Word Post Confuses Internet"] ''NDTV'' (August 18, 2025) * The [[Museums]] throughout [[Washington D. C.|Washington]], but all over [[United States|the Country]] are, essentially, the last remaining segment of "[[w:Woke|WOKE]]." The Smithsonian is OUT OF [[Control|CONTROL]], where everything discussed is how horrible our Country is, how [[bad]] [[Slavery]] was, and how unaccomplished [[Oppression|the downtrodden]] have been — [[Nothing]] about [[Success]], nothing about Brightness, nothing about the [[Future]]. We are not going to allow this to happen, and I have instructed my [[attorneys]] to go through the [[Museums]], and start the exact same process that has been done with Colleges and [[Universities]] where tremendous progress has been made. This Country cannot be WOKE because WOKE IS BROKE. We have the “HOTTEST” Country in the World, and we want people to talk about it, including in our Museums. ** [https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/115056914674717313 ''Truthsocial.com'' posting (August 19, 2025)] * I want to try and get to heaven if possible…. I'm hearing I'm not doing well. …I am really at the bottom of the totem pole. But if I can get to heaven, this will be one of the reasons. **Speaking on ''Fox and Friends'' regarding his desire to bring an end to the Russia-Ukraine War [https://www.themirror.com/entertainment/celebrity-news/trump-tells-fox-hosts-hes-1338143 "Donald Trump shares fears he won't go to heaven as he says he's 'not doing well'"] '' The Mirror US'' (August 19, 2025)[https://www.themirror.com/news/us-news/donald-trump-heaven-fears-health-1339753] * When you go to a voting booth, and you do it the right way, and you go to a state that runs it properly, you go in -- they even asked me, they asked me for my license plate. I said, 'I don't know if I have it.' They said, 'Sir, you have to have it.' I was very impressed actually." ** [https://www.jalopnik.com/1944138/trump-claims-license-plate-voting/ "Trump Claims He Was Asked For His License Plate At The Voting Booth"] ''Jalopnink'' (August 19, 2025) * MSNBC IS DOING SO POORLY IN THE RATINGS THAT THEY ARE LOOKING TO CHANGE THEIR NAME IN ORDER TO GET AWAY FROM THE STENCH OF THEIR FAKE NEWS PRODUCT. SO MUCH FUN TO WATCH THEIR WEAK AND INEFFECTIVE OWNER, ‘CONCAST,’ HEADED BY DOPEY BRIAN ROBERTS, HOPELESSLY AND AIMLESSLY FLAILING IN THE WIND IN AN ATTEMPT TO DISASSOCIATE ITSELF FROM THE GARBAGE THAT THEY CREATED! MSNBC IS A FAILURE BY ANY NAME!!!” ** [https://www.tvinsider.com/1210320/trump-cankles-truth-social-msnbc-lawrence-odonnell-video/ "Trump Rants Against MSNBC After Lawrence O’Donnell Mocks His ‘Cankle’ Issue"] ''TV Insider'' (August 21, 2025) *They say, ‘we don’t need him, freedom, freedom, he’s a dictator, he’s a dictator.’ A lot of people are saying, ‘Maybe we would like a dictator.’ I don’t like a dictator; I’m not a dictator. I’m a man with great common sense, and I’m a smart person. **[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-dictator-crime-cities-b2813664.html Trump insists he is not a dictator - but claims that many people think the US could use one] ''Independent'' (August 25, 2025) *Despite a very high popularity and, according to many, among the greatest 8 months in Presidential History, ABC & NBC FAKE NEWS, two of the worst and most biased networks in history, give me 97% BAD STORIES. IF THAT IS THE CASE, THEY ARE SIMPLY AN ARM OF THE DEMOCRAT PARTY AND SHOULD, ACCORDING TO MANY, HAVE THEIR LICENSES REVOKED BY THE FCC. I would be totally in favor of that because they are so biased and untruthful, an actual threat to our Democracy!!! **From ''Truth Social'', reported in [https://www.newsweek.com/trump-media-nbc-abc-fcc-license-revoked-fees-2118632 Trump Calls For 'Fake News' Networks To Have Licenses Revoked by FCC] ''Newsweek'' (August 25, 2025) * Except what is written and broadcast in the Fake News, I now have the highest poll numbers I’ve ever had, some in the 60’s and even 70’s. ** [https://www.nj.com/politics/2025/08/trump-keeps-boasting-about-his-popularity-but-where-does-he-really-stand.html "Trump keeps boasting about his popularity. But where does he really stand?"] ''NJ.com'' (August 25, 2025) * If you burn a flag, you get one year in jail; no early exits, no nothing. ** [https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2025/8/25/trump-bans-burning-of-us-flag-in-defiance-of-constitutional-protections "Trump bans burning of US flag in defiance of constitutional protections"] ''Al Jazeera'' (August 25, 2025) * WHAT IS GOING ON IN SOUTH KOREA? Seems like a Purge or Revolution. We can’t have that and do business there. ** [https://eu.detroitnews.com/story/news/politics/2025/08/25/trump-claims-purge-or-revolution-in-south-korea-ahead-of-meeting-with-new-leader/85820943007/ "Trump claims 'Purge or Revolution' in South Korea ahead of meeting with new leader"] ''Detroit News'' (August 25, 2025) *And I don't like getting into looks. You know, looks don't mean anything, right? When you're in politics, looks don't matter.<br>Look at Pam, I would never say she was beautiful because that would be the end of my political career. **[https://www.irishstar.com/news/politics/breaking-donald-trump-makes-creepy-35530513 Donald Trump makes 'creepy' flirty comment toward Pam Bondi during Cabinet meeting] ''Irish Star'' (August 26, 2025) *The Department of Defense… It didn’t sound good — defense. Why are we on defense? So it used to be called the Department of War, and it had a stronger sound. And as you know, we won World War I. We won World War II. We won everything. Now we have a Department of Defense. We’re defenders.<br> I think Department of War, it just sounded better. We want defense, but we want offense too, if that’s OK. So you’ll make a decision. But you know, as Department of War, we won everything. **[https://indianexpress.com/article/world/trump-renaming-pentagon-department-of-war-10212728/ Trump wants to rename Department of Defense as ‘Department of War’: ‘It has a stronger sound’] ''The Indian Express'' (August 26, 2025) * Baltimore is a hellhole. ** [https://www.fox13now.com/politics/the-president/trump-calls-baltimore-a-hellhole-during-cabinet-meeting "Trump calls Baltimore a 'hellhole' during cabinet meeting"] ''Fox 13'' (August 26, 2025) * I have the right to do anything I want to do. I'm the president of the United States. If I think our country is in danger, and it is in danger in these cities, I can do it. ** [https://rollcall.com/2025/08/27/the-u-s-system-always-had-loopholes-trump-2-0-exploits-what-others-resisted/ The US system always had loopholes. Trump 2.0 exploits what others resisted] ''Roll Call'' (August 26, 2025) * There is a sick rumour going around that Fake News NBC extended the contract of one of the least talented late-night television hosts out there, Seth Meyers. He has no Ratings, Talent, or Intelligence, and the Personality of an insecure child. So, why would Fake News NBC extend this dope’s contract. I don’t know, but I’ll definitely be finding out!!! ** [https://www.livemint.com/news/us-news/after-stephen-colbert-donald-trump-now-targets-seth-meyers-host-of-late-night-personality-of-an-insecure-child-11756289725956.html "After Stephen Colbert, Donald Trump now targets Seth Meyers, host of ‘Late Night’: ‘Personality of an insecure child’"] ''Mint'' (August 27, 2025) * I’m sure that Ukraine thought they were going to win, you’re going to beat someone that’s 15 times your size ... you don’t go into a war that’s 15 times your size. ** [https://uk.news.yahoo.com/trump-repeats-favourite-kremlin-talking-113114361.html "Trump Repeats His Favourite Kremlin Talking Point In Latest Anti-Ukraine Outburst"] ''Yahoo / Huffington Post'' (August 27, 2025) *Today a Highly Partisan Appeals Court incorrectly said that our Tariffs should be removed, but they know the United States of America will win in the end. If these Tariffs ever went away, it would be a total disaster for the Country. It would make us financially weak, and we have to be strong…. For many years, Tariffs were allowed to be used against us by our uncaring and unwise Politicians. Now, with the help of the United States Supreme Court, we will use them to the benefit of our Nation, and Make America Rich, Strong, and Powerful Again! **[https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2025/08/29/most-trump-tariffs-are-not-legal-us-appeals-court-rules/85895611007/ Most Trump tariffs are illegal, appeals court rules, setting up Supreme Court showdown] ''USA Today'' (August 29, 2025) ==== September 2025 ==== *NEVER FELT BETTER IN MY LIFE **In response to questions about his health (bruised hands, swollen ankles, crooked gait) and lack of recent public appearances [https://www.the-independent.com/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-health-rumors-response-truth-social-b2817486.html Trump claps back after weekend of speculation about his health: ‘Never felt better in my life’] ''The Independent'' (September 1, 2025)[https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/international/global-trends/why-is-trump-struggling-to-walk-in-a-straight-line-new-questions-erupt-over-us-presidents-health-after-summit-with-putin/articleshow/123331093.cms] *The problem I have with Colorado, one of the big problems, is they do mail-in voting. They went to all mail-in voting, so they have automatically crooked elections and we can’t have that. When a state is for mail-in voting that means they want dishonest elections because that’s what that means. **One of the reasons given for moving U.S. Space Command headquarters from Colorado to Alabama [https://www.msn.com/en-nz/news/other/trump-ends-turf-war-and-will-move-space-command-hq-to-alabama-from-colorado/ar-AA1LJwJY Trump ends turf war and will move Space Command HQ to Alabama from Colorado] ''MSN'' (September 2, 2025) * I used, at the White House, the most beautiful marble and stone available anywhere. Surfaces are very important to me as a Builder. As everyone knows, I built many GREAT Buildings, and other things, over the years. At the White House, I am very proud of the beautiful stonework we did in the Rose Garden, in this case, using limestone plus. The Rose Garden is completed, and far more beautiful than anyone ever had in mind when it was conceived of decades ago. Three days ago, while admiring the stonework, I happened to notice a huge gash in the limestone that extended more than 25 yards long. It was deep and nasty! I started yelling, “Who did this, and I want to find out now!” — And I didn’t say this in a nice manner. I wondered, “Was it vandalism or, was it stupidity?” Lo and behold, because of the fact that we’ve installed the finest security equipment anywhere, they brought back the stupid people, with their boss watching (in sunglasses!). It was a subcontractor that was installing heavy landscaping on a steel cart that was broken and tilting badly, with it rubbing hard against the soft, beautiful stone. I love and respect great workers and contractors but something like this should never happen. Now, I’ll replace the stone, charge the contractor, and never let that contractor work at the White House again — But, how great is the video equipment? We caught them, cold. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! ** [https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/a65961231/trump-rose-garden-truth-social/ "Trump Caught Whoever Scraped Up the Renovated White House Rose Garden"] ''Esquire'' (September 2, 2025) *I want to try and get to Heaven **From a campaign fundraising email asking supporters to contribute $15 during a 24-hour fundraising blitz [https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-heaven-donations-2123679 Donald Trump Asks For $15 Donations to 'Get to Heaven'] ''Newsweek'' (September 3, 2025) * Without the United States, everything in the world would die. * We get along with India very well. ** [https://www.businesstoday.in/world/us/story/without-us-everything-in-world-would-die-trump-defends-his-tariffs-as-war-settler-492175-2025-09-03 "'Without US, everything in world would die': Trump defends his tariffs as 'war settler'"] ''Business Today'' (September 3, 2025) * Looks like we've lost India and Russia to deepest, darkest China. May they have a long and prosperous future together! ** [https://www.ndtv.com/world-news/weve-lost-india-russia-to-deepest-darkest-china-donald-trumps-latest-9222384 ""We've Lost India, Russia To Deepest, Darkest China": Donald Trump's Latest"] ''NDTV'' (September 5, 2025) * At least 54 people were shot in Chicago over the weekend, 8 people were killed. The last two weekends were similar. <b>Chicago is the worst and most dangerous city in the World, by far</b>. Pritzker needs help badly, he just doesn’t know it yet. I will solve the crime problem fast. * ‘I love the smell of deportations in the morning...’ <b>Chicago about to find out why it’s called the Department of WAR.</b> ** [https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/donald-trump-threatens-chicago-deportations-department-war-crackdown-rcna229544 "'Chipocalypse Now': Trump threatens Chicago with deportations and Department of War ahead of potential crackdown"] ''NBC News'' (September 6, 2025)</ref> * Our great West Point (getting greater all the time!) has smartly cancelled the Award Ceremony for actor Tom Hanks. Important move! We don’t need destructive, WOKE recipients getting our cherished American Awards!!! ** [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/sep/08/trump-tom-hanks-woke "Trump attacks Tom Hanks after West Point cancels event honoring actor"] ''The Guardian'' (September 8, 2025) * Look, you have some vaccines that are so amazing, the polio vaccine I happen to think is amazing. A lot of people think that Covid is amazing. You know there are many people that believe strongly in that. But you have some vaccines that are so incredible, and I think you have to be very careful when you say that some people don't have to be vaccinated. It's a very, you know, it's a very tough position, so I'll give you an answer. I'll give you the feeling, but just initially I heard about it yesterday and it's a tough stance. Look, you have vaccines that work. They just pure and simple work. They're not controversial at all, and I think those vaccine should be used. Otherwise some people are going to catch it and they endanger other people, and when you don’t have controversy at all, I think people should take it. ** Responding to the proposed removal of vaccination mandates in Florida. "[https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/sep/14/florida-vaccine-joseph-ladapo-trump Florida vaccine mandate rollback falters after Trump criticism]", ''The Guardian'' (September 8, 2025) *Things that take place in the home, they call crime. They’ll do anything they can to find something. <b>If a man has a little fight with the wife, they say this was a crime scene.</b> **Expressing frustration that domestic violence incidents are counted as part of city-wide crime totals, thus raising the number of verified crimes in Washington DC [https://www.the-independent.com/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-domestic-violence-crime-statistics-b2822877.html ‘A little fight with the wife’: Trump suggests domestic violence should not be counted in official crime statistics] ''Independent'' (September 9, 2025) *It’s long past time for all Americans and the media to confront the fact that violence and murder are the tragic consequence of demonizing those with whom you disagree day after day, year after year, in the most hateful and despicable way possible.  **[https://time.com/7316299/charlie-kirk-shot-death-donald-trump-speech-transcript-political-violence/ ‘A Dark Moment for America’: Trump Responds to Charlie Kirk’s Death] ''Time'' (September 10, 2025) *I tell you something that is going to get me in trouble, but I couldn’t care less. The radicals on the right are radical because they don’t want to see crime … The radicals on the left are the problem – and they are vicious and horrible and politically savvy. They want men in women’s sports, they want transgender for everyone, they want open borders. The worst thing that happened to this country. **In response to Ainsley Earhardt’s questions, “How do we fix this country? How do we come back together?” following the shooting death of Charlie Kirk [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/sep/12/trump-fox-friends-charlie-kirk-shooting Trump declines to call for unity after Charlie Kirk killing in stunning move] ''The Guardian'' (September 12, 2025) *I have read someplace that the networks were 97% against me, again, 97% negative, and yet I won and easily, all seven swing states. ... They give me only bad publicity, press. I mean, they’re getting a license. I would think maybe their license should be taken away….<br>When you have a network and you have evening shows, and all they do is hit Trump. That’s all they do. If you go back, I guess they haven’t had a conservative on in years or something somebody said. But when you go back, take a look, all they do is hit Trump. They’re licensed. They’re not allowed to do that. They’re an arm of the Democrat Party. **Speaking to reporters aboard Air Force One [https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/maddowblog/not-allowed-trump-makes-ridiculous-new-claims-media-critics-free-press-rcna232231 ‘Not allowed’: Trump makes ridiculous new claims about media critics and the free press] MSNBC (September 18, 2025) *He was a missionary with a noble spirit and a great, great purpose. He did not hate his opponents. He wanted the best for them. That’s where I disagreed with Charlie. I <i>hate</i> my opponent, and I don’t want the best for them. I’m sorry. **Speaking at Charlie Kirk memorial service [https://time.com/7319196/charlie-kirk-funeral-trump-watch/ Trump Says Kirk ‘Did Not Hate His Opponents … That’s Where I Disagreed With Charlie’ at Funeral for Conservative Activist] ''Time'' (September 21, 2025) *Acetaminophen. Is that okay? Which is basically, commonly known as Tylenol. Can be associated with a very increased risk of autism. So taking Tylenol is not good. I’ll say it, it’s not good. * '''Nothing bad can happen. It can only good happen.''' But with Tylenol, don't take it. Don't take it. And if you can't live, if your fever is so bad, you have to take one because there's no alternative to that. Sadly. First question, "What can you take instead?" It's actually, there's not an alternative to that. And as you know, other of the medicines are absolutely proven bad. I mean, they've been proven bad with the aspirins and the Advils and others, right? And they've been proven bad. **At a press conference along with members of his administration [[Robert Francis Kennedy, Jr.]] and [[Mehmet Oz]], [https://singjupost.com/transcript-trump-rfk-jr-and-dr-oz-on-autism-rates-and-tylenol/ Transcript: Trump, RFK Jr. and Dr. Oz on Autism Rates and Tylenol] ''The Singju Post'' (September 22, 2025) *I ended seven wars, dealt with the leaders of each and every one of these countries, and never even received a phone call from the United Nations offering to help in finalizing the deal. All I got from the United Nations was an escalator that on the way up stopped right in the middle. If the First Lady wasn't in great shape, she would've fallen. But she's in great shape. We're both in good shape, we both stood. And then a teleprompter that didn't work. These are the two things I got from the United Nations, a bad escalator and a bad teleprompter. Thank you very much....</br>According to the Council of Europe, in 2024, almost 50% of inmates in German prisons were foreign nationals or migrants. In Austria, the number was 53% of the people in prisons were from places that weren't from where they are now. In Greece, the number was 54%. And in Switzerland, beautiful Switzerland, 72% of the people in prisons are from outside of Switzerland. When your prisons are filled with so-called asylum seekers who repaid kindness, and that's what they did, they repaid kindness with crime, it's time to end the failed experiment of open borders. You have to end it now. I see it, I can tell you. I'm really good at this stuff. Your countries are going to hell. In America, we've taken bold action to swiftly shut down uncontrolled migration. Once we started detaining and deporting everyone who crossed the border and removing illegal aliens from the United States, they simply stopped coming. They're not coming anymore. **[https://www.rev.com/transcripts/trump-speaks-at-un Speech to the United Nations] (September 23, 2025) * I can’t believe ABC Fake News gave Jimmy Kimmel his job back. The White House was told by ABC that his Show was cancelled! Something happened between then and now because his audience is GONE, and his “talent” was never there. Why would they want someone back who does so poorly, who’s not funny, and who puts the Network in jeopardy by playing 99% positive Democrat GARBAGE. He is yet another arm of the DNC and, to the best of my knowledge, that would be a major Illegal Campaign Contribution. I think we’re going to test ABC out on this. Let’s see how we do. Last time I went after them, they gave me $16 Million Dollars. This one sounds even more lucrative. A true bunch of losers! Let Jimmy Kimmel rot in his bad Ratings. ** [https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2025/sep/24/jimmy-kimmel-says-trump-tried-his-best-to-cancel-him-as-his-show-returns-to-air-after-suspension "Jimmy Kimmel says silencing comedians is ‘anti American’, as his show returns to air after suspension"] ''The Guardian'' (September 24, 2025) * I’m going to be meeting with generals and with admirals and with leaders, and if I don’t like somebody, I’m going to fire them right on the spot. * I never walked into a room so silent before. If you want to applaud, you applaud. You can do anything you want. If you don’t like what I’m saying, you can leave the room. But there goes your rank and there goes your future. ** [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/trump-threatens-to-fire-generals-meeting_n_68dbf67fe4b003b6c8dc2d76 "Trump Threatens To Fire Military Leaders ‘On The Spot’ If They Cross Him"] ''Huffignton Post'' (September 30, 2025) *I hope I never have to use the nuclear arsenal. **Spero di non dover mai usare l'arsenale nucleare. ***''[https://www.ansa.it/sito/notizie/mondo/nordamerica/2025/09/30/trump-spero-di-non-dover-mai-usare-larsenale-nucleare_aa475fa6-b9a4-4b3f-baa7-993c4e608307.html Trump, spero di non dover mai usare l'arsenale nucleare]'', ''[[w:ANSA|ANSA]].it'', 30 September 2025 (in Italian) ==== October 2025 ==== * I am very proud to announce that [[Israel]] and [[Hamas]] have both signed off on the first Phase of our Peace Plan. This means that ALL of the Hostages will be released very soon, and Israel will withdraw their Troops to an agreed upon line as the first steps toward a Strong, Durable, and Everlasting [[Peace]]. All Parties will be treated fairly!<br /> This is a GREAT Day for the [[Arab]] and [[Muslim]] World, [[Israel]], all surrounding [[Nations]], and the [[United States of America]], and we thank the mediators from [[Qatar]], [[Egypt]], and [[Turkey]], who worked with us to make this [[Historic]] and Unprecedented Event happen. [[Blessings|BLESSED]] ARE THE PEACEMAKERS! ** [https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/115340993884364431 Post on Truth Social (8 October 2025)] · also the [https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/statement-israel-and-hamas-accepting-peace-plan The American Presidency Project] *After so many years of unceasing war and endless danger, today the skies are calm, the guns are silent, the sirens are still, and the sun rises on a Holy Land that is finally at peace, a land and a region that will live, God willing, in peace for all eternity. **[https://abcnews.go.com/US/trump-declares-end-israel-hamas-war-experts-hard/story?id=126482789 Trump declares end of Israel-Hamas war, but experts see the hard work as just beginning] ''ABC News'' (October 14, 2025) *Over the next few days, it's going to be demolished. Everything out there is coming down, and we're replacing it with one of the most beautiful ballrooms that you've ever seen. **Regarding the demolition of the [[w:East Wing|East Wing]] of the White House, speaking to donors for the construction of a new ballroom [https://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics-government/article312585121.html Trump’s East Wing destruction echoes his tactics at Mar-a-Lago and Trump Tower] ''Miami Herald'' (October 21, 2025) *"You're the third best President in the United…" This was on television. "Third best." And they said, "Who are the first two? George Washington and Abraham Lincoln." And I got extremely angry at this man. You know? It is going to be tough to beat, Mr. Senator... It's going to be very tough to beat Washington and Lincoln, but we're going to give it a try, right? **Reacting to what a television commentator had said, [https://www.irishstar.com/news/us-news/donald-trump-health-delusion-fears-36114247 Trump's latest rant fuels more health fears as he shows repeated delusion] ''Irish Times'' (October 22, 2025) ==== November 2025 ==== *Why does NBC waste its time and money on a guy like this??? – NO TALENT, NO RATINGS, 100% ANTI TRUMP, WHICH IS PROBABLY ILLEGAL!!! **Referring to [[Seth Meyers]] in a Truth Social post [https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/tv/articles/trump-79-claims-illegal-night-003833952.html Trump, 79, Claims It’s ‘Illegal’ for Late-Night Host to Mock Him] Yahoo! News (November 1, 2025) *SNAP BENEFITS, which increased by Billions and Billions of Dollars (MANY FOLD!) during Crooked Joe Biden's disastrous term in office, will be given only when the Radical Left Democrats open up government. **[https://www.axios.com/2025/11/04/trump-snap-after-shutdown-ends?utm_source=chatgpt.com Trump says SNAP will only get paid after shutdown, defying multiple court orders] ''Axios'' (November 4, 2025) *And you know, one other thing, our country has to remain very liquid because problems, catastrophes, wars, could be anything. We have to remain liquid.<br>We can’t give everything away based on a number.<br>Here’s an example. When I was president, the number that you’re talking about was a tiny fraction of what it is now. Biden went totally crazy, gave it to anybody that would ask, gave it to people that were able-bodied, had no problem.<br>Anybody who would ask would get the number. And it’s many times the number of people around.<br>This wasn’t meant for that. It was meant for people that had real problems, in many cases people that were down and out, people that could be saved.<br>It wasn’t for people who could do whatever they want, the people that say, Well, I don’t think I’ll work. I’ll just, you know, collect this money. **When asked by a reporter what his message was to folks who are missing SNAP benefits [https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/trump-goes-rant-staying-very-134934000.html Trump Goes on Rant About Staying ‘Very Liquid’ When Fox Reporter Confronts Him Over Judge’s SNAP-Food Stamps Order] Yahoo! News (November 7, 2025) *They said, ‘Oh, I don’t want to talk about affordability. The reason I don’t want to talk about affordability is because everybody knows that it’s far less expensive under Trump than it was under Sleepy Joe Biden, and the prices are way down. **[https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/cnn-host-skewers-trump-over-235330797.html CNN Host Skewers Trump Over Latest Food Price Claims: 'The Numbers Don't Lie'] ''Yahoo News'' (November 8, 2025) *I don’t know that they are saying that. I think polls are fake. We have the greatest economy we’ve ever had. **When asked by Fox News host [[Laura Ingraham]] "Why are people saying they’re anxious about the economy?" [https://www.mediaite.com/media/tv/foxs-laura-ingraham-confronts-trump-on-50-year-mortgage-plan-is-that-really-a-good-idea/ Fox’s Laura Ingraham Confronts Trump on 50-Year Mortgage Plan: ‘Is That Really a Good Idea?’] ''Mediaite'' (November 10, 2025) *Epstein was a Democrat, and he is the Democrat’s problem, not the Republican’s problem! Ask Bill Clinton, Reid Hoffman, and Larry Summers about Epstein, they know all about him, don’t waste your time with Trump. I have a Country to run! **[https://www.reuters.com/world/us/trump-says-he-will-ask-justice-department-probe-epstein-ties-with-bill-clinton-2025-11-14/ Trump asks Justice Department to probe Epstein ties with Bill Clinton, other Democrats] ''Reuters'' (November 14, 2025)[https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/115548539359870302] * I had an MRI. The doctor said it was the best result he has ever seen as a doctor. ** [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-mri-walter-reed-doctor-b2865809.html "Trump claims his recent MRI was part of regular checkup: ‘The doctor said it was the best result he’s ever seen as a doctor’"] ''Independent'' (November 15, 2025) * Marjorie 'Traitor' Green [sic] is a disgrace to our GREAT REPUBLICAN PARTY! * All I see "Wacky" Marjorie do is COMPLAIN, COMPLAIN, COMPLAIN! * She has told many people that she is upset that I don't return her phone calls anymore. I can't take a ranting Lunatic's call every day. ** [https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c9wv4dx05q5o "Feud erupts between Trump and ally Marjorie Taylor Greene ahead of Epstein files vote"], ''BBC'' (November 16, 2025) *I don’t think her life is in danger. I don’t think, frankly, I don’t think anybody cares about her. **Responding to a reporter about [[Marjorie Taylor Greene]]’s claim that his comments are putting her life in danger [https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/congress/rep-marjorie-taylor-greene-blasts-trump-vicious-unwarranted-attacks-re-rcna244351 Marjorie Taylor Greene blasts Trump for 'vicious' attacks after saying her company received a pipe bomb threat] ''NBC News'' (November 17, 2025) * Quiet, piggy. ** [https://www.thedailybeast.com/testy-trump-lashes-out-at-female-reporter-asking-about-epstein-quiet-piggy/ "Trump Lashes Out at Female Reporter Asking About Epstein: ‘Quiet, Piggy!’"] ''The Daily Beast'' (November 18, 2025) *It’s called SEDITIOUS BEHAVIOR AT THE HIGHEST LEVEL. Each one of these traitors to our Country should be ARRESTED AND PUT ON TRIAL. Their words cannot be allowed to stand – We won’t have a Country anymore!!! An example MUST BE SET. President DJT *This is really bad, and Dangerous to our Country. Their words cannot be allowed to stand. SEDITIOUS BEHAVIOR FROM TRAITORS!!! LOCK THEM UP??? President DJT *SEDITIOUS BEHAVIOR, punishable by DEATH! **Series of Truth Social posts suggesting Senators Elissa Slotkin and Mark Kelly, as well as Representatives Jason Crow, Chris Deluzio, Chrissy Houlahan, and Maggie Goodlander be arrested and put to death for a video they made urging military members to “refuse illegal orders” issued “against American citizens” [https://www.mediaite.com/media/news/an-example-must-be-set-trump-calls-for-democrats-who-urged-soldiers-to-disobey-illegal-orders-to-be-arrested-and-put-on-trial/ ‘Punishable by DEATH’: Trump Floats Execution for Democrats Who Urged Soldiers to Disobey Illegal Orders] ''Mediate'' (November 20, 2025) *'''Reporter:''' [The Afghan refugee] was vetted and the vetting came up clean.<br>'''Donald Trump:''' He went cuckoo. I mean, he went nuts, and that happens too. It happens too often with these people….There was no vetting or anything, they came in unvetted…<br>'''Reporter:''' Actually, your DOJ IG just reported this year that there was thorough vetting by DHS and by the FBI of these Afghans who were brought into the U.S. So why do you blame the Biden administration?<br>'''Trump:''' Because they let ’em in. Are you stupid? Are you a stupid person? Because they came into on a plane along with thousands of other people that shouldn’t be here, and you’re just asking questions because you’re a stupid person. **Responding to a female reporter regarding the Afghan refugee, vetted by the Trump DOJ, who shot two national guardsmen in Washington DC on Thanksgiving Day [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/donald-trump-stupid-attack_n_6928ebbfe4b0237ded13a17a Trump Rips Into Another Female Reporter With Incredibly 'Stupid' Personal Attack] ''Huffington Post'' (November 27, 2025) ===== Press conference with Zohran Mamdani (21 November 2025) ===== [[File:President Trump Meets with Zohran Mamdani, Mayor-Elect, New York City (11212025).webm|222px|right]] * We have one thing in common. We want this city of ours that we love to do very well, and I wanted to congratulate the mayor. He really ran an incredible race against, you know, a lot of smart people, starting with the early primaries against some very tough people, very smart people, and he beat them and he beat them easily, and I congratulated him. … I think you're going to have hopefully a really great mayor. The better he does, the happier I am. I will say there's no difference in party. There's no difference in anything, and we're going to be helping him. To make everybody's dream come true, having a strong and very safe New York, and congratulations, [[Zohran Mamdani|Mr. Mayor]]. * I can tell you some of my views have [[changed]] and we had discussions on some things. I'm not going to discuss what they were, but that I feel very [[confident]] that he can do a very good job. I think I think he's going to be — I think he is going to [[surprise]] some [[conservative]] [[people]] actually — and some very [[liberal]] people — he won't surprise them because they already like him. ==== December 2025 ==== *If [drug producers] come through a certain country, or any country, or if we think they're building mills for, whether it's fentanyl or cocaine. I hear the country of Colombia is making cocaine, they have cocaine manufacturing plants... Anybody that's doing that and selling it into our country is subject to attack… Not just Venezuela. **Indicates military strikes are possible in other countries if they are suspected of producing or transporting drugs [https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-colombia-drugs-military-strikes-venezuela-11144611 Donald Trump Threatens Expanding Military Strikes to More Countries] ''Newsweek'' (December 2, 2025) *Any and all Documents, Proclamations, Executive Orders, Memorandums, or Contracts, signed by Order of the now infamous and unauthorized 'AUTOPEN,' within the Administration of Joseph R. Biden Jr., are hereby null, void, and of no further force or effect. Anyone receiving 'Pardons,' 'Commutations,' or any other Legal Document so signed, please be advised that said Document has been fully and completely terminated, and is of no Legal effect. **[https://www.newsweek.com/trump-says-biden-autopen-pardons-invalid-11145591 Trump Says All Pardons, Commutations Signed by Biden Autopen ‘Terminated’] ''Newsweek'' (December 2, 2025) *The word affordability is a con job by the Democrats. The word affordability is a Democrat scam. **Responding to Democrats' complaints about inflation at today's Cabinet meeting [https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2025/12/02/trump-cabinet-meeting-venezuela-live-updates/87566205007/ 'Affordability is a con job by the Democrats,' Trump says] ''USA Today'' (December 2, 2025) *<b>ABC News Reporter Selina Wang:</b> Mr. President, you released video of that first boat strike on September 2nd, but not the second video. Will you release video [of the September 2 US military strikes against a suspected drug-smuggling boat in the Caribbean] so that the American people can see for themselves what happened?<br><b>Donald Trump:</b> I don’t know what they have, but whatever they have we’d certainly release, no problem. **[https://www.cnn.com/2025/12/08/politics/fact-check-trump-september-strike-video Fact check: Trump denies saying something he said on camera five days ago] ''CNN'' (December 3, 2025) * You'll never see me sleeping in front of a camera. ** [https://www.express.co.uk/showbiz/tv-radio/2142156/sleepy-donald-trump-humiliated "'Sleepy' Donald Trump humiliated with own words in resurfaced TV appearance"] ''Express'' (December 4, 2025) *<b>ABC News Reporter Rachel Scott:</b> Mr. President, you said you would have no problem with releasing the full video of that strike on September 2nd off the coast of Venezuela. Secretary Hegseth now says –<br><b>Donald Trump:</b> I didn’t say that. That’s – you said that, I didn’t say that. This is ABC fake news.<br><b>Scott:</b> You said that you would have no problem releasing the full vi(deo)….<br><b>Trump:</b> Whatever Hegseth wants to do is OK with me.<br><b>Scott:</b> He now says it’s under review. Are you ordering the secretary to release that full video?<br><b>Trump:</b> Whatever he decides is OK with me. So every boat we knock out of the water, every boat, we save 25,000 American lives. That was a boat loaded up with drugs....<br><b>Scott:</b> Are you committed to releasing the full video?<br><b>Trump:</b> Didn’t I just tell you that?<br><b>Scott:</b> You said it was up to Secretary Hegseth.<br><b>Trump:</b> You are the most obnoxious reporter in the whole place. Let me just tell you, you are an obnoxious—actually, a terrible reporter, and it’s always the same with you. **[https://www.cnn.com/2025/12/08/politics/fact-check-trump-september-strike-video Fact check: Trump denies saying something he said on camera five days ago] ''CNN'' (December 8, 2025)[https://newrepublic.com/post/204152/donald-trump-pulls-180-releasing-boat-strike-video] * The word 'affordability' is a con job by the Democrats. The word 'affordability' is a Democrat scam. ** [https://eu.usatoday.com/story/opinion/columnist/2025/12/14/trump-economy-inflation-affordability-hoax/87725036007/ "Stop criticizing Trump's bad economy. You're making him sad."] Opinion by Rex Hupke, in ''USA Today'' (December 14, 2025) *A very sad thing happened last night in Hollywood. Rob Reiner, a tortured and struggling, but once very talented movie director and comedy star, has passed away, together with his wife, Michele, reportedly due to the anger he caused others through his massive, unyielding, and incurable affliction with a mind crippling disease known as TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROME, sometimes referred to as TDS. He was known to have driven people CRAZY by his raging obsession of President Donald J. Trump, with his obvious paranoia reaching new heights as the Trump Administration surpassed all goals and expectations of greatness, and with the Golden Age of America upon us, perhaps like never before. May Rob and Michele rest in peace! **Truth Social post one day after [[Wikipedia:Rob Reiner|Rob Reiner]] and his wife, Michele, were found dead in their Los Angeles home due to an apparent homicide [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-disparages-rob-reiner-political-views-murder/# Trump disparages Rob Reiner's political views a day after his murder] ''CBS News'' (December 15, 2025) * I was never on Epstein's Plane. ** [https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c74xgp81pqgo "Trump travelled on Epstein's plane more than previously thought, newly released prosecutor's email says"] ''BBC'' (December 23, 2025) * Merry Christmas to all, including the Radical Left Scum that is doing everything possible to destroy our Country, but are failing badly. ** [https://www.trtworld.com/article/08dba4da974b "Trump calls Democrats 'radical left scum' in Christmas Eve message] ''TRT World'' (December 25, 2025) * Merry Christmas to all, including the many Sleazebags who loved Jeffrey Epstein, gave him bundles of money, went to his Island, attended his parties, and thought he was the greatest guy on earth, only to ‘drop him like a dog’ when things got too HOT, falsely claimed they had nothing to do with him, didn’t know him, said he was a disgusting person, and then blame, of course, President Donald J. Trump, who was actually the only one who did drop Epstein, and long before it became fashionable to do so. ** [https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/sleazebags-trump-wishes-merry-christmas-012444246.html "'Sleazebags': Trump Wishes A Merry Christmas To ... Epstein Island Visitors?!?"] ''Huffington Post / Yahoo News'' (December 26, 2025) * My friends will get hurt. ** [https://uk.news.yahoo.com/trump-yelled-friends-hurt-marjorie-181823942.html Trump Yelled 'My Friends Will Get Hurt' at Marjorie Taylor Greene for Threatening to Name Epstein Abusers, She Claims] (December 29, 2025) ===== Address to the Nation (17 December 2025) ===== *Eleven months ago, I inherited a mess, and I’m fixing it. When I took office, inflation was the worst in 48 years, and some would say in the history of our country, which caused prices to be higher than ever before, making life unaffordable for millions and millions of Americans. This happened during a Democrat administration, and it’s when we first began hearing the word affordability. *Over the past 11 months, we have brought more positive change to Washington than any administration in American history. *For the last four years, the United States was ruled by politicians who fought only for insiders, illegal aliens, career criminals, corporate lobbyists, prisoners, terrorists and, above all, foreign nations, which took advantage of us at levels never seen before. They flooded your cities and towns with illegal aliens. They decimated your hard-earned savings. They indoctrinated your children with hate for America, released, really, I mean, they just released a level of violent felons that we had never seen to prey on innocent. They caused war. They caused mayhem. They caused a horrible situation all over the globe. *Here at home, we are bringing our economy back from the brink of ruin. The last administration and their allies in Congress looted our Treasury for trillions of dollars, driving up prices and everything at levels never seen before. I am bringing those high prices down and bringing them down very fast. *Democrat politicians also sent the cost of groceries soaring, but we are solving that, too. The price of a Thanksgiving turkey was down 33 percent compared to the Biden last year. The price of eggs is down 82 percent since March, and everything else is falling rapidly. And it’s not done yet, but boy, are we making progress. Nobody can believe what’s going on. *Already, I’ve secured a record-breaking $18 trillion of investment into the United States, which means jobs, wage increases, growth, factory openings and far greater national security. Much of this success has been accomplished by tariffs, my favorite word, tariffs, which for many decades have been used successfully by other countries against us, but not anymore. *One year ago, our country was dead. We were absolutely dead. Our country was ready to fail. Totally fail. Now we’re the hottest country anywhere in the world. And that’s said by every single leader that I’ve spoken to over the last five months. *I negotiated directly with the drug companies and foreign nations, which were taken advantage of our country for many decades to slash prices on drugs and pharmaceuticals by as much as 400, 500 and even 600 percent. *The current unaffordable care act was created to make insurance companies rich. It was bad health care at much too high a cost, and you see that now in the steep increase in premiums being demanded by the Democrats. And they are demanding those increases and it’s their fault. It is not the Republicans’ fault. It’s the Democrats’ fault. It’s the unaffordable care act, and everybody knew it.<br>Again, I want the money to go directly to the people so you can buy your own health care. You’ll get much better health care at a much lower price. The only losers will be insurance companies that have gotten rich, and the Democrat Party, which is totally controlled by those same insurance companies. They will not be happy, but that’s OK with me because you, the people, are finally going to be getting great health care at a lower cost. *On Day 1, I declared a national energy emergency. Gasoline is now under $2.50 a gallon, and in much of the country, in some states, it, by the way, just hit $1.99 a gallon. *Tonight, after 11 months, our border is secure, inflation has stopped, wages are up, prices are down, our nation is strong, America is respected, and our country is back, stronger than ever before. We’re poised for an economic boom the likes of which the world has never seen. Soon we will host the World Cup and the Olympics, both of which I got. But most importantly, we will celebrate the 250th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence.<br>There could be no more fitting tribute to this epic milestone than to complete the comeback of America that began just one year ago. When the world looks at us next year, let them see a nation that is loyal to its citizens, faithful to its workers, confident to its identity, certain to its destiny and the envy of the entire globe. We are respected again, like we have never been respected before. **[https://www.nytimes.com/2025/12/17/us/politics/trump-speech-transcript-economy.html Full Transcript of President Trump’s Speech on the Economy] ''The New York Times'' (December 17, 2025) ** [https://edition.cnn.com/2025/12/17/politics/fact-check-trump-prime-time-address "Fact check: Trump repeats numerous false claims in prime-time address"] ''CNN'' (December 18, 2025) ===2026=== ====January 2026==== *Peace. Peace on Earth. **When asked what his New Year's resolution was [https://www.foxnews.com/politics/president-donald-trump-shares-his-new-years-resolution.print President Donald Trump shares his New Year's resolution] ''Fox News'' (January 1, 2026) *Somalians ripped off that state for billions of dollars, billions every year, billions of dollars. And they contribute nothing. The welfare is like 88 percent. They contribute nothing. I don’t want them in our country. I’ll be honest with you, okay? Somebody said, ‘Oh, that’s not politically correct.’ I don’t care. I don’t want them in our country. Their country’s no good for a reason. Their country stinks, and we don’t want them in our country. **[https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2025/12/02/somalis-minnesota-trump-walz-immigration-enforcement/ Trump rails against Somali migrants], ''Washington Post'' (January 4, 2026) *Yeah, there is one thing. My own morality. My own mind. It’s the only thing that can stop me. I don’t need international law. I’m not looking to hurt people. **When asked if there were any limits on his global powers [https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/08/us/politics/trump-interview-power-morality.html?unlocked_article_code=1.C1A.ZfEI.Unv_CN3B-FBv&smid=url- Trump Lays Out a Vision of Power Restrained Only by ‘My Own Morality’] ''The New York Times'' (January 8, 2026) *I’m not talking about money for [[Greenland]], yet.<br>I might talk about that, but right now we are going to do something on Greenland, whether they like it or not. Because if we don’t do it, Russia or China will take over Greenland, and we’re not going to have Russia or China as a neighbor.<br>…The fact that [Denmark] had a boat land there 500 years ago doesn’t mean that they own the land. [I’m] sure we had lots of boats go there also.<br>So we’re going to be doing something with Greenland, either the nice way or the more difficult [way]. **[https://www.cnbc.com/2026/01/09/trump-greenland-military-denmark-nato.html Trump: ‘We are going to do something on Greenland whether they like it or not’] ''CNBC'' (January 9, 2026) * You got to win the midterms because if we don't win the midterms, it's just going to be — I mean, they'll find a reason to impeach me. <b>I'll get impeached.</b> * They say that when you win the presidency, you lose the midterm. So, you're all brilliant people. Most of you are in this business longer than me. That makes me smarter than you, because look where I am right? No, it doesn't. But I wish you could, explain to me what the hell's going on with the mind of the public. Because we have a — we have the right policy. They don't. They have a horrible policy. They do stick together. * They had the worst president, did the worst job. They had the worst policy. We have to even run against these people. Now, I won't say cancel the election, <b>they should cancel the election</b>, because the fake news will say, 'He wants the elections canceled. He's a dictator.' They always call me a dictator. ** [https://eu.delawareonline.com/story/news/2026/01/15/trump-impeachment-update-2026-is-trump-getting-impeached-midterm-elections-cancelled-predictions/88195759007/ "Is Trump getting impeached in 2026? Here's what he said about cancelling midterms"] ''Delaware Online / USA TODAY NETWORK'' (January 15, 2026) * Dear Jonas: Considering your Country decided not to give me the Nobel Peace Prize for having stopped 8 Wars PLUS, <b>I no longer feel an obligation to think purely of Peace</b>, although it will always be predominant, but can now think about what is good and proper for the United States of America. Denmark cannot protect that land from Russia or China, and why do they have a “right of ownership” anyway? There are no written documents, it’s only a boat that landed there hundreds of years ago, but we had boats landing there, also. <b>I have done more for NATO than any person since its founding</b>, and <b>now, NATO should do something for the United States. The World is not secure unless we have Complete and Total Control of Greenland.</b> Thank you! President DJT ** Message to Norwegian prime minister [[w:Jonas Gahr Støre|Jonas Gahr Støre]], as cited in [https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/2026/01/trump-letter-to-norway/685676/ "Trump’s Letter to Norway Should Be the Last Straw - Will Republicans in Congress ever step in?"] ''The Atlantic'' (January 19, 2026) * I don't care about the Nobel Prize. * I think I have saved tens of millions of lives. ** [https://edition.cnn.com/2026/01/20/us/video/trump-dont-care-about-the-nobel-prize-digvid-vrtc "Trump: I don't care about the Nobel prize"] ''CNN'' (January 20, 2026) ===== Remarks on U.S. military operations in Venezuela (3 January 2026) ===== * Late last night and early today at my direction the United States armed forces conducted [[w:2026 United States strikes in Venezuela|an extraordinary military operation]] in the capital of [[Venezuela]]. * The lights of Caracas were largely turned off due to a certain expertise that we have. It was dark and it was deadly. But captured along with his wife, [[w:Cilia Flores|Cilia Flores]], both of whom now face American justice. * '''We are going to run the country until such time as we can do a safe, proper and judicious transition.''' * Under our new national security strategy, American dominance in the western hemisphere will never be questioned again. *'''We're going to be taking out a tremendous amount of wealth out of the ground''', and that wealth is going to the people of Venezuela and people from outside of Venezuela that used to be in Venezuela, and it goes also to the United States of America in the form of reimbursement for the damages caused by that country. **Response to a question from the press following his remarks on operations in Venezuela [https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/trumps-vow-run-venezuela-sell-oil-part-plan/story?id=128873221 Trump's vow to 'run' Venezuela, sell oil, part of plan to dominate Western Hemisphere] ''ABC News'' (January 3, 2026) ==== February 2026==== [[File:Kennedy Center (46399777861).jpg|thumb| The [[w:Kennedy Center|Trump Kennedy Center]] will close on [[Independence Day (United States)|July 4th]], 2026, in [[honor]] of the 250th Anniversary of [[United States|our Country]], whereupon we will simultaneously begin Construction of the new and spectacular Entertainment Complex.]] * I have determined that the fastest way to bring [[w:Kennedy Center|The Trump Kennedy Center]] to the highest level of Success, Beauty, and Grandeur, is to cease Entertainment Operations for an approximately two year period of time, with a scheduled Grand Reopening that will rival and surpass anything that has taken place with respect to such a Facility before. ** [https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/115997939705121174 Announcement of closure] of the [[w:Kennedy Center|John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts]] (1 February 2026), referred to by Trump as "The Trump Kennedy Center" without authorization of such a renaming by the US Congress. * The Grammy Awards are the WORST, virtually unwatchable! Noah said, INCORRECTLY about me, that Donald Trump and Bill Clinton spent time on Epstein Island. ** [https://edition.cnn.com/2026/02/02/politics/trevor-noah-trump-grammys-epstein "Trump slams Grammys and threatens to sue host Trevor Noah after Epstein joke"] ''CNN'' (February 2, 2026) * I don't want to drive housing prices down, I want to drive housing prices up for people that own their homes and they can be assured that's what's going to happen. ** [https://finance.yahoo.com/news/trump-wants-drive-us-house-103900744.html "Trump wants to drive US house prices up for homeowners, block those who don’t ‘work very hard’ from buying. Do this now"] ''Moneywise / Yahoo Finance'' (February 4, 2026) * ''About the 2024 election:'' I had to win it. I needed it for my own ego. I would have had a bad ego for the rest of my life. Now I really have a big ego. * I don’t know how a person of faith can vote for a Democrat. ** [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/feb/05/trump-religious-right-republicans "The way, the Trump and the lies: prayer breakfast displays US right’s devil’s pact"] ''The Guardian'' (February 5, 2026) * U.S. Olympic Skier, Hunter Hess, a real Loser, says he doesn’t represent his Country in the current Winter Olympics. If that’s the case, he shouldn’t have tried out for the Team, and it’s too bad he’s on it. ** Written about Hunter Hess, who has said that just because he's wearing the flag doesn't mean he is representing all that is going on in the US, quoted in [https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/5728563-trump-rips-hunter-hess-olympics/ "Trump rips Olympic skier over remarks about representing US"] ''The Hill'' (February 8, 2026) * The Super Bowl Halftime Show is absolutely terrible, one of the worst, EVER! It makes no sense, is an affront to the Greatness of America, and doesn’t represent our standards of Success, Creativity, or Excellence. ** Claimed about the show with the US rapper [[w:Bad Bunny | Bad Bunny]], quoted in [https://www.reuters.com/world/us/trump-says-bad-bunnys-super-bowl-halftime-show-was-absolutely-terrible-2026-02-09/ "Trump says Bad Bunny's Super Bowl halftime was 'absolutely terrible'"] ''Reuters'' ( February 9, 2026) * I am predicting 100,000 on the DOW by the end of my Term. REMEMBER TRUMP WAS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING! ** [https://finance.yahoo.com/news/trump-says-everything-credits-tariffs-193104611.html "Trump Says He 'Was Right About Everything,' Credits Tariffs For Dow Jones At 50,000, Predicts It Will Reach 100,000 By This Time"] ''Yahoo Finance'' (February 10, 2026) * TARIFFS have given us Great National Security because the mere mention of the word has Countries agreeing to our strongest wishes, * Any Republican, in the House or the Senate, that votes against TARIFFS will seriously suffer the consequences come Election time, and that includes Primaries! ** [https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/5734521-trump-tariffs-primary-threat/ "Trump threatens ‘consequences’ for Republicans who voted against tariffs on Canada"] ''The Hill'' (February 11, 2026) ===== Announcement of major combat operations in Iran (28 February 2026) ===== [[File:President Donald J. Trump on the United States Military Major Combat Operations in Iran.webm|thumb|Trump on major combat operations in Iran]] :<small>[https://www.pbs.org/newshour/world/read-trumps-full-statement-on-iran-attack Full statement at PBS (28 February 2026)]</small> [[File:Trump announcing strikes on Iran, February 28 2026.png|thumb|A short time ago, the [[United States]] [[military]] began [[w:2026 Israeli–United States strikes on Iran|major combat operations]] in [[Iran]].]] [[File:President Donald J. Trump oversees Operation Epic Fury at Mar-a-Lago, Palm Beach, FL, Feb. 28, 2026. (White House photo by Daniel Torok) (55121599389).jpg|thumb|My administration is taking every possible step to minimize the risk to U.S. personnel in the region. Even so, and I do not make this statement lightly, the Iranian regime seeks to kill. The lives of courageous American heroes may be lost, and we may have casualties. That often happens in war.]] * A short time ago, the United States military began major combat operations in Iran. Our objective is to defend the American people by eliminating imminent threats from the Iranian regime. A vicious group of very hard, terrible people. Its menacing activities directly endanger the United States, our troops, our bases overseas, and our allies throughout the world. * Iran is the world's number one state sponsor of terror, and just recently killed tens of thousands of its own citizens on the street as they protested. It has always been the policy of the United States, in particular my administration, that this terrorist regime can never have a nuclear weapon. I'll say it again, they can never have a nuclear weapon. * They've rejected every opportunity to renounce their nuclear ambitions, and we can't take it anymore. Instead, they attempted to rebuild their nuclear program and to continue developing the long range missiles that can now threaten our very good friends and allies in Europe, our troops stationed overseas, and could soon reach the American homeland. Just imagine how emboldened this regime would be if they ever had, and actually were armed with nuclear weapons as a means to deliver their message. <br /> For these reasons, the United States military is undertaking a massive and ongoing operation to prevent this very wicked, radical dictatorship from threatening America and our core national security interests. We're going to destroy their missiles and raze their missile industry to the ground. It will be totally again obliterated. We're going to annihilate their navy. We're going to ensure that the region's terrorist proxies can no longer destabilize the region or the world and attack our forces, and no longer use their IEDs, or roadside bombs as they are sometimes called, to so gravely wound and kill thousands and thousands of people, including many Americans. And we will ensure that Iran does not obtain a nuclear weapon. It's a very simple message. They will never have a nuclear weapon. * This regime will soon learn that no one should challenge the strength and might of the United States Armed Forces. I built and rebuilt our military in my first administration and there is no military on earth even close to its power, strength or sophistication. My administration is taking every possible step to minimize the risk to U.S. personnel in the region. Even so, and I do not make this statement lightly, the Iranian regime seeks to kill. The lives of courageous American heroes may be lost, and we may have casualties. That often happens in war. But we're doing this not for now. We're doing this for the future. And it is a noble mission. We pray for every service member as they selflessly risk their lives to ensure that Americans and our children will never be threatened by a nuclear-armed Iran. We ask God to protect all of our heroes in harm's way. And we trust that with his help, the men and women of the armed forces will prevail. We have the greatest in the world, and they will prevail. * To the members of the Islamic Revolutionary Guard, the armed forces and all of the police, I say tonight that you must lay down your weapons and have complete immunity. Or in the alternative, face certain death. So, lay down your arms. You will be treated fairly with total immunity, or you will face certain death. Finally, to the great proud people of Iran, I say tonight that the hour of your freedom is at hand. Stay sheltered. Don't leave your home. It's very dangerous outside. Bombs will be dropping everywhere. When we are finished, take over your government. It will be yours to take. This will be probably your only chance for generations. <br /> For many years, you have asked for America's help. But you never got it. No president was willing to do what I am willing to do tonight. Now you have a president who is giving you what you want. So let's see how you respond. America is backing you with overwhelming strength and devastating force. Now is the time to seize control of your destiny, and to unleash the prosperous and glorious future that is close within your reach. This is the moment for action. Do not let it pass. ==== March 2026 ==== {{See also|2026 Iran war}} * There will be no deal with Iran except UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER! * IRAN WILL HAVE A GREAT FUTURE. 'MAKE IRAN GREAT AGAIN (MIGA!).'” ** [https://x.com/WhiteHouse/status/2029923412269809980 "UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER!"] ''The White House'' (March 6, 2026) * Iran, which is being beat to HELL, has apologized and surrendered to its Middle East neighbors, and promised that it will not shoot at them anymore. This promise was only made because of the relentless U.S. and Israeli attack... Iran is no longer the 'Bully of the Middle East,' they are, instead, 'THE LOSER OF THE MIDDLE EAST,' ** [https://www.instagram.com/p/DVliTBoFFXd/ "IRAN WILL BE HIT VERY HARD!"] ''White House'' (March 7, 2026) * I think the war is very complete, pretty much. * If you look, they have nothing left. There's nothing left in a military sense. * If they do anything bad, that would be the end of Iran and you'd never hear the name again. * Wrapping up is all in my mind, nobody else's. ** [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-iran-cbs-news-the-war-is-very-complete-strait-hormuz/ "Trump says "the war is very complete," and he's considering taking over Strait of Hormuz"] ''CBS News'' (March 9, 2026) * We think they should put a president in or the head of the country that’s going to be able to do something peacefully for a change. They’ve been doing this for 47 years, killing people for 47 years. Whether it’s the barracks or even the SS Cole where they were involved, very strongly, they always denied it. But they were very strongly involved and all of the <b>people that died through the roadside bombs died and are right now walking around with no legs, no arms.</b> A face that’s been so badly damaged. ** Claimed about the people of Iran and about the [[w:October 2000 bombing of USS Cole | October 2000 bombing of USS Cole ]] in Yemen by Al Qaida, quoted in [https://newrepublic.com/post/207572/trump-rant-dead-soldiers-walking-around-no-legs-iran "Trump Goes on Deranged Rant About Dead Soldiers Walking Around"] ''The New Republic'' (March 10, 2026) * These ships should go through the Strait of Hormuz and show some guts, there’s nothing to be afraid of ... They have no Navy, we sunk all their ships. ** [https://www.newsweek.com/hormuz-strait-attacks-follow-trump-saying-crews-should-show-some-guts-11660339 "Hormuz Strait Attacks Follow Trump Saying Crews Should ‘Show Some Guts’"] ''Newsweek'' (March 11, 2026) * The United States is the largest oil producer in the world, by far, so when oil prices go up, we make a lot of money. * The straits are in great shape. We’ve knocked out all of their boats. They have some missiles, but not very many. I think we’re in very good … we’re in very good shape. ** [https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/5780543-us-oil-prices-trump/ "Trump: ‘When oil prices go up, we make a lot of money’"] ''The Hill'' (March 12, 2026) * I don't want the president of the United States to have a cognitive deficiency. ** [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/newsom-trump-cognitive-ability-2028-election-b2936871.html "Newsom gives scathing two-word retort after Trump publicly questions governor’s mental health and ‘cognitive’ ability"] ''Independent'' (March 12, 2026) * You never like to say too early you won. We won. We won the bet — in the first hour, it was over. ** [https://www.ms.now/news/news-analysis/trump-iran-winning-project-47-newsletter "‘We’ve won’: Trump’s declarations of victory in war with Iran defy reality"] ''MS Now'' (March 12, 2026) * It's an excursion that will keep us out of a war, and the war is going to be, uh -- I mean, for them it's a war. For us, it's turned out to be easier than we thought. ** [https://abcnews.com/Politics/excursion-war-trump-analysis/story?id=131003550 "A 'little excursion' or 'war'? It's 'both,' Trump says: ANALYSIS"] ''ABC News'' (March 13, 2026) * Watch what happens to these deranged scumbags today. They’ve been killing innocent people all over the world for 47 years, and now I, as the 47th President of the United States of America, am killing them. What a great honor it is to do so! ** [https://www.latimes.com/politics/story/2026-03-15/trump-hegseth-iran-war-rhetoric "Trump’s war rhetoric is coarse. It’s also heard differently, depending on the audience"] ''Los Angeles Times'' (March 15, 2026) * We may hit it a few more times just for fun. ** [https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2026/3/15/trump-says-us-may-hit-irans-kharg-island-again-just-for-fun "Trump says US may hit Iran’s Kharg Island again ‘just for fun’"] ''AlJazeera'' (March 15, 2026) * I’ve spoken to a certain president, who I like, actually. A past president, a former president. He said, 'I wish I did it.' But they didn't do it. I'm doing it. ** [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-iran-war-president-call-b2940315.html "Trump says he spoke to an ex-president who praised his Iran War. They all deny taking the call"] ''Independent'' (March 17, 2026) * ''About [[w:Joe Kent | Joe Kent]], former director of the National Counterterrorism Center:'' It’s a good thing that he’s out because he said Iran was not a threat. ** [https://washingtonstatestandard.com/2026/03/17/was-joe-kent-leaving-trump-administration-over-war-in-iran/ "WA’s Joe Kent leaving Trump administration over war in Iran"] ''Washington State Standard'' (March 17, 2026) * My attitude is, we don’t need anybody. We’re the strongest nation in the world. We have the strongest military by far in the world. We don’t need them. ** [https://www.tvinsider.com/1252321/cnns-kasie-hunt-mocks-trump-over-his-bizarre-press-briefing/ "CNN’s Kasie Hunt Mocks Trump Over His Bizarre Press Briefing"] ''TV Insider'' (March 17, 2026) * NATO nations have done absolutely nothing to help with the lunatic nation, now militarily decimated, of Iran. the U.S.A needs nothing from NATO, but “never forget" this very important point in time!" ** [https://www.news18.com/world/done-absolutely-nothing-trump-fires-at-nato-nations-for-no-action-on-lunatic-iran-9998722.html "'Done Absolutely Nothing': Trump Fires At NATO Nations For No Action On 'Lunatic Iran'"] ''News 18'' (March 26, 2026) * When we go in, we went in very hard, and we didn't tell anybody about it, because we wanted surprise—Who knows better about surprise than Japan? Why didn't you tell me about Pearl Harbor? ** In response to a reporter questioning why the US did not inform its NATO allies before launching strikes on Iran, during a joint press conference with Japanese Prime Minister Sanae Takaichi, quoted in [https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/pearl-harbor-joke-iran-operation-meeting-japan-prime-minister-war-rcna264325 "Trump makes Pearl Harbor joke during meeting with Japanese prime minister"] ''NBC News'' (March 19, 2026) * ''About the attack on Iran:'' We could have dialogue, but I don’t want to do a ceasefire. You know you don’t do a ceasefire when you’re literally obliterating the other side. ** [https://www.cnbc.com/2026/03/20/trump-iran-war-ceasefire.html "Trump says he doesn’t want Iran war ceasefire, but is considering ‘winding down’ military ops"] ''CNBC'' (March 20, 2026) * Robert Mueller just died. Good, I’m glad he’s dead. He can no longer hurt innocent people! ** [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/mar/21/robert-mueller-special-counsel-trump-russia-dies "Robert Mueller, special counsel who investigated Trump-Russia ties, dies at 81"] ''The Guardian'' (March 21, 2026) * I read a story today that I’m desperate to make a deal…. I’m the opposite of desperate. I don’t care. I want to know ― in fact, we have other targets we want to hit before we leave. We’re hitting them on a daily basis. * We don’t need the Hormuz Strait. We don’t need it. We don’t need it at all. We don’t ― we have so much oil. Our country is not affected by this. ** [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/trump-iran-peace-deal_n_69c58c70e4b09f8e00509ee8 "Trump Trots Out Wildly Contradictory Iran War Claims — And Says He Doesn't Care If There's A Peace Deal"] ''Huffington Post'' (March 26, 2026) : ''About the US attack on Iran:'' * I can’t say what we’re going to do because if I did, I wouldn’t be sitting here for long. They’d probably — what is it called? The 25th Amendment? — They’d institute the 25th Amendment. ** [https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/donald-trump-jokes-cabinet-25th-103104867.html "Donald Trump Jokes Cabinet Would Use 25th Amendment to Remove Him"] ''Mandatory / Yahoo News'' (March 27, 2026) * See, I get into a war — of course, they call it a war, I call it a military conflict. But there’s a legal reason for that. I said, ‘Look, you know, we have a thing called a war,’ or as they would rather say, a military operation. It’s for legal reasons. I say ‘military’ because as a military operation, I don’t need any approvals. As a war, you’re supposed to get approval from Congress. Something like that. ** [https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/call-war-trump-reveals-real-172604512.html "'They Call It A War': Trump Reveals Real Reason He Keeps Calling Iran War Something Else"] ''Huffington Post / Yahoo News'' (March 28, 2026) * I always like to hang around with losers, actually, because it makes me feel better. I hate guys that are very, very successful and you have to listen to their success stories. I like people that like to listen to my success. ** [https://www.aol.com/articles/five-unhinged-trump-moments-investment-100000181.html "Five unhinged Trump moments at investment summit from weird interruption to filthy question"] ''AOL'' (March 28) * To be honest with you, my favourite thing is to take the oil in Iran, but some stupid people back in the US say: ‘Why are you doing that?’ But they’re stupid people. * Maybe we take Kharg Island, maybe we don’t. We have a lot of options. It would also mean we had to be there for a while. ** [https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2026/3/30/trump-wants-to-invade-iran-to-seize-oil-calls-us-objectors-stupid "Trump wants to invade Iran to seize oil, calls US objectors ‘stupid people’"] ''Al Jazeera'' (March 30, 2026) * The Republicans are wonderful people. We're dealing with very sick people. The Democrats are sick; there's something wrong. They're like terrorists. ** [https://www.aol.com/entertainment/donald-trump-ruthlessly-dubbed-inept-133940897.html "Donald Trump ruthlessly dubbed an 'inept pile of garbage' amid Democrat 'terrorist' jab"] ''AOL'' (March 30, 2026) * All of those countries that can’t get jet fuel because of the Strait of Hormuz, like the United Kingdom, which refused to get involved in the decapitation of Iran, I have a suggestion for you: Number 1, buy from the U.S., we have plenty, and Number 2, build up some delayed courage, go to the Strait, and just TAKE IT. * You’ll have to start learning how to fight for yourself, the U.S.A. won’t be there to help you anymore, just like you weren’t there for us. Iran has been, essentially, decimated. The hard part is done. Go get your own oil! ** [https://nypost.com/2026/03/31/us-news/trump-lashes-out-at-france-and-uk-over-strait-of-hormuz/ "Trump lashes out at France and UK, says nations should ‘just take’ Strait of Hormuz to replenish lost oil"] ''New York Post'' (March 31, 2026) ==== April 2026 ==== * We're going to hit them extremely hard over the next two to three weeks — we're going to bring them back to the Stone Age, where they belong. ** [https://www.war.gov/News/News-Stories/Article/Article/4450132/trump-objectives-in-iran-near-completion-terrorist-nation-bully-no-longer/ "Trump: Objectives in Iran Near Completion, Terrorist Nation 'Bully No Longer'"] ''US Department of war'' (April 1, 2026) * We could just take their oil. But, you know, I’m not sure that the people in our country have the patience to do that, which is unfortunate. They want to see it end. If we stayed there, I prefer just to take the oil. We could do it so easily; I would prefer that. But people in the country sort of say, ‘Just win. You’re winning so big, just win. Come home. * With a little more time, we can easily OPEN THE HORMUZ STRAIT, TAKE THE OIL, & MAKE A FORTUNE * KEEP THE OIL, ANYONE? ** [https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2026/4/3/trump-says-with-more-time-us-can-take-the-oil-in-iran "Trump says with more time, US can ‘take the oil’ in Iran"] ''Al Jazeera'' (April 3, 2026) * Tuesday will be Power Plant Day, and Bridge Day, all wrapped up in one, in Iran. There will be nothing like it!!! Open the Fuckin' Strait, you crazy bastards, or you'll be living in Hell - JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah. President DONALD J. TRUMP ** [https://www.politico.com/news/2026/04/05/trump-threatens-iranian-infrastructure-hormuz-00859268?utm_medium=referral&utm_source=snews "Trump again threatens to hit Iranian civil infrastructure"] ''Politico'' (April 5, 2026) * A whole civilization will die tonight, never to be brought back again. I don’t want that to happen, but it probably will. However, now that we have Complete and Total Regime Change, where different, smarter, and less radicalized minds prevail, maybe something revolutionarily wonderful can happen, WHO KNOWS? We will find out tonight, one of the most important moments in the long and complex history of the World. 47 years of extortion, corruption, and death, will finally end. God Bless the Great People of Iran! ** [https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-iran-warning-whole-civilization-die-11792792 "Trump Issues New Warning to Iran: ‘A Whole Civilization Will Die Tonight’"] ''Newsweek'' (April 7, 2026) * I know why Tucker Carlson, Megyn Kelly, Candace Owens, and Alex Jones have all been fighting me for years, especially by the fact that they think it is wonderful for Iran, the Number One State Sponsor of Terror, to have a Nuclear Weapon — Because they have one thing in common, Low IQs. They’re stupid people, they know it, their families know it, and everyone else knows it, too! Look at their past, look at their record. They don’t have what it takes, and they never did! They’ve all been thrown off Television, lost their Shows, and aren’t even invited on TV because nobody cares about them, they’re NUT JOBS, TROUBLEMAKERS, and will say anything necessary for some “free” and cheap publicity. ** [https://thehill.com/homenews/media/5824607-trump-iran-war-tucker-carlson-megyn-kelly/ "Trump slams conservative media figures over splitting with him on Iran"] ''The Hill'' (April 9, 2026) * Effective immediately, the United States Navy, the Finest in the World, will begin the process of BLOCKADING any and all Ships trying to enter, or leave, the Strait of Hormuz. * Any Iranian who fires at us, or at peaceful vessels, will be BLOWN TO HELL! ** [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-strait-of-hormuz-blockade-iran/ "Trump says U.S. will blockade Strait of Hormuz and intercept ships that paid tolls to Iran"] ''CBS News'' (April 12, 2026) * We don’t like a pope that’s going to say that it’s OK to have a nuclear weapon. We don’t want a pope that says crime is OK in our cities. I don’t like it. I’m not a big fan of Pope Leo, * Pope Leo is WEAK on Crime, and terrible for Foreign Policy * Leo should be thankful because, as everyone knows, he was a shocking surprise. He wasn’t on any list to be Pope, and was only put there by the Church because he was an American, and they thought that would be the best way to deal with President Donald J. Trump. If I wasn’t in the White House, Leo wouldn’t be in the Vatican. ** [https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/trump-says-not-big-fan-weak-terrible-pope-leo-rcna331461 "Trump assails Pope Leo as 'weak' and 'terrible' after pontiff's Iran war criticism"] ''NBC News'' (April 13, 2026) * Gas prices have come down very much in the last three or four days * They are not very high. * Everything's going really well. ** [https://www.cnbc.com/2026/04/16/trump-gas-prices-iran-war.html "Trump says gas prices ‘not very high’ as most U.S. voters blame him for price spike"] ''CNBC'' (April 16, 2026) * 'Corner stores'!? What is a corner store? I've never heard that term. I know what a corner store is, but I've never heard it described, a ‘corner store.’ ** [https://www.indy100.com/politics/trump/trump-corner-store-reaction "Trump doesn’t know what a corner store is – and people think it says a lot about him"] ''Indy100'' (April 17, 2026) * We have a very good relationship with Iran right now, as hard as it is to believe. And I think it is a combination of about four weeks of bombing and a very powerful blockade. ** [https://www.timesofisrael.com/trump-says-second-round-of-talks-with-iran-could-take-place-this-weekend/ "Trump says 2nd round of Iran talks could be this weekend, war ‘should’ end soon"] ''The Times of Israel'' (April 20, 2026) * I would have won Vietnam very quickly. I would have, if I were president. ** Claimed about the Vietnam War (1955-1975), quoted in [https://ca.news.yahoo.com/trump-boasts-won-vietnam-very-130316917.html "Trump boasts ‘I would have won Vietnam very quickly’ ... despite getting ‘bone spur’ excuse to avoid draft"] ''Independent / Yahoo News'' (April 21, 2026) * A RIGGED ELECTION TOOK PLACE LAST NIGHT IN THE GREAT COMMONWEALTH OF VIRGINIA! * As everyone knows, I am an extraordinarily brilliant person. ** [https://ca.news.yahoo.com/extraordinarily-brilliant-trump-leaves-no-181143288.html "‘Extraordinarily brilliant’ Trump leaves no doubt he will challenge any election GOP losses as ‘rigged’ with latest post"] ''Independent / Yahoo News'' (April 22, 2026) * I just cancelled the trip of my representatives going to Islamabad, Pakistan, to meet with the Iranians. Too much time wasted on traveling, too much work! Besides which, there is tremendous infighting and confusion within their ‘leadership. Nobody knows who is in charge, including them. Also, we have all the cards, they have none! If they want to talk, all they have to do is call!!! ** [https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/5849794-trump-iran-peace-negotiations/ "Trump says he won’t send officials to Pakistan for negotiations"] ''The Hill'' (April 26, 2026) * When you have, you know, lines of vast amounts of oil pouring through your system, if for any reason that line is closed because you can’t continue to put it into containers or ships, which has happened to them — they have no ships because of the blockade — what happens is that line explodes from within, both mechanically and in the earth. It’s something that happens where it just explodes. And they say they only have about three days left before that happens. And when it explodes, you can never, regardless, you can never rebuild it the way it was. ** [https://nypost.com/2026/04/26/us-news/trump-claims-irans-oil-infrastructure-may-explode-in-three-days-due-to-us-blockade/ "Trump claims Iran’s oil infrastructure may explode in three days due to US blockade"] ''New York Post'' (April 26, 2026) * The Chancellor of Germany, Friedrich Merz, thinks it’s OK for Iran to have a Nuclear Weapon. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about! If Iran had a Nuclear Weapon, the whole World would be held hostage. * I am doing something with Iran, right now, that other Nations, or Presidents, should have done long ago. No wonder Germany is doing so poorly, both Economically, and otherwise! * They’re a respected country. I have a very good relationship with the country – in particular now, with this leader. ** [https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2026/4/28/trump-scolds-germanys-merz-for-criticism-of-iran-war "Trump scolds Germany’s Merz for criticism of Iran war"] ''AlJazeera'' (April 28, 2026) * He &#91;[[Charles III|King Charles]] of the United Kingdom] made a great speech. I was very jealous. * I want to congratulate Charles on having made a fantastic speech today at Congress. He got the [[Democrats]] to stand, I’ve never been able to do that, I couldn’t believe it. ** [https://www.wionews.com/world/trump-admits-he-s-very-jealous-after-king-charles-did-the-one-thing-he-could-never-pull-off-at-the-capitol-1777442027803#goog_rewarded "Trump admits he's 'very jealous' after King Charles did the one thing he could never pull off at the Capitol"] ''Wion'' (April 29, 2026) * I think Ukraine, militarily they are defeated, OK? You wouldn't know that by reading the fake news. ** [https://www.foxnews.com/video/6394191405112?dicbo=v2-iH2p37I&intcmp=fn_article_mobileweb_bc_ob_more_from "Ukraine is 'militarily' defeated: Trump"] ''Fox News'' (April 29, 2026) ===== Remarks after White House Correspondents' Dinner shootings (25 April 2026) ===== [[File:President Trump Delivers Remarks (April 25, 2026).webm|thumb|start=19:16|thumbtime=19:53|President Trump addresses the press two hours after the shooting]] :<small>[https://www.rev.com/transcripts/trump-speaks-after-whcd-shooting "Trump Speaks After WHCD Shooting" video and transcript at rev.com]</small> * That was very unexpected, but incredibly acted upon by Secret Service and law enforcement. And this was an event dedicated to freedom of speech that was supposed to bring together members of both parties with members of the press. And in a certain way it did because the fact that they just unified, I saw a room that was just totally unified. It was in one way, very beautiful. A very beautiful thing to see. * A tape showing the violence of this thug that attacked our constitution and also showing how quickly Secret Service and law enforcement acted on our country's behalf, really did a great job. <br /> One officer was shot, but saved by the fact that he was wearing obviously a very good bulletproof vest. He was shot from very close distance with a very powerful gun. And the vest did the job. I just spoke to the officer and he's doing great. He's great shape. He has very high spirits and we told him we love him and respect him. And he's a very proud guy. He's very proud of what he does, Secret Service agent. And we looked at all of the conditions that took place tonight. And I will say, it's not a particularly secure building. And I didn't want to say this, but this is why we have to have all of the attributes of what we're planning at the White House. It's actually a larger room and it's a much more secure. It's got, it's drone proof, it's bulletproof glass. <br /> We need the ballroom. That's why Secret Service, that's why the military are demanding it. They've wanted the ballroom for 150 years for lots of different reasons, but today's a little bit different because today we need levels of security that probably nobody's ever seen before. But everyone owes a tremendous debt of gratitude to the courage of law enforcement. * So as you know, this is not the first time in the past couple of years that our republic been attacked by a would be assassin who sought to kill in Butler, Pennsylvania less than two years ago. <br /> You all know that story. And in Palm Beach, Florida, a few months after that, we came close. We really had, again, we had some great work done by law enforcement. But in light of this evening's events, I asked that all Americans recommit with their hearts in resolving our difference peacefully. We have to resolve our differences. I will say you had Republicans, Democrats, independents, conservatives, liberals, and progressives. Those words are interchangeable, perhaps but maybe they're not. But yet everybody in that room, big crowd, record-setting crowd, there was a record-setting group of people, and there was a tremendous amount of love and coming together. I watched and I was very, very impressed by that. * I told the representatives of the evening, they did such a beautiful job, was such a beautiful evening. And again, they're talking about free speech in our [[United States Constitution|Constitution]]. That's what it's all about. Not just White House correspondence. It was really based on free speech in our Constitution. But I said very importantly that we'll do it again within the next 30 days. It will make it bigger and better and even nicer. So I just want to thank everybody that was involved. I also want to thank the press, the media. You've been very responsible in your coverage. I will say I've been seeing what's been out and you've been very responsible. ==== May 2026 ==== : ''About the 2026 midterm election:'' * It is a problem I'm not on the ballot. Everyone says if I was on a ballot we'd win in a landslide. <b>I have some of the best poll numbers I've ever had.</b> ** [https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-approval-rating-plummets-personality-traits-11905848 "Donald Trump’s Approval Rating Plummets On All Personality Traits"] ''Newsweek'' (May 2, 2026) * There has been no exchange of fire between the United States Forces and Iran since April 7, 2026. The hostilities that began on February 28, 2026 have terminated. ** [https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c4g4xexy4w7o "Trump tells Congress ceasefire means he does not need their approval for Iran war"] ''BBC'' (May 2, 2026) * We took over the ship. We took over the cargo, took over the oil. It’s a very profitable business. <b>We’re like pirates.</b> We’re sort of like pirates. ** [https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2026/5/2/trump-says-us-navy-acting-like-pirates-to-enforce-iran-blockade "Trump says US Navy acting ‘like pirates’ to enforce Iran blockade"] ''Al Jazeera'' (May 2, 2026) * It is a very friendly blockade. ** [https://www.thestar.com.my/news/world/2026/05/03/trump-describes-us-blockade-as-very-friendly-does-not-breach-039terminated039-claim-on-iran-hostilities#goog_rewarded "Trump describes US blockade as "very friendly”, does not breach 'terminated' claim on Iran hostilities"] ''The Star'' (May 3, 2026) * Bill Maher is a MORON, though slightly more talented than Jimmy Kimmel. ** [https://www.newsweek.com/trump-tears-into-bill-maher-after-gavin-newsom-interview-11906910 "Trump Tears Into Bill Maher After Gavin Newsom Interview"] ''Newsweek'' (May 3, 2026) : ''Explained to a group of school children:'' * We can't let Iran have a nuclear weapon… You might be too young for this… But you can't let a bunch of lunatics have a nuclear weapon or the world would be in trouble. * We sent that beautiful B-2 bomber in, and we blew up their nuclear potential. * I can tell you, the Middle East would've been gone. Israel would've been gone. They would've trained their sights on Europe first, then us. Because they're sick people. These are sick people, and we're not going to let lunatics have nuclear weapons. It's not going to happen. ** [https://www.ndtvprofit.com/world/bizarre-moment-trump-tells-school-kids-iran-was-two-weeks-away-from-killing-you-watch-video-11455217/amp/1 "Bizarre Moment! Trump Tells School Kids Iran 'Was Two Weeks Away From Killing You'—Watch Video"] ''NDTV Profit'' (May 6, 2026) * It's up to the Pope. He thinks it's just fine for Iran to have a nuclear weapon. ** [https://time.com/article/2026/05/06/pope-leo-nuclear-weapons-trump/ "Pope Leo Rejects Trump’s Nuclear Claims and Tells His Critics To Speak ‘Truthfully’"] ''Time'' (May 6, 2026) * This lunatic, Hakeem ‘Low IQ’ Jeffries, should be charged with INCITING VIOLENCE! The Radical Left Democrats actually want to Destroy our Country. ** [https://www.aol.com/articles/jeffries-trump-call-inciting-violence-201156891.html "Jeffries on Trump call for ‘inciting violence’ charge: ‘Another deranged rant’"] ''AOL'' (May 7, 2026) * Excellent Poll Numbers. Thank You! ** [https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/trump-drowns-feed-maga-praise-114613786.html "Trump Drowns Feed With MAGA Praise in Late-Night Truth Social Dump Celebrating Himself"] ''Mediaite/Yahoo News'' (May 11, 2026) * No matter how ‘Fair and Balanced’ the day’s News at Fox may be, the end result is destroyed by professional Liars, Conmen, and Liberal, Crooked Politicians. This is why <b>MAGA Republicans, who are actually close to 100% of the Party, hate Fox,</b> despite the wonderful contributions made by so many of their great anchors and commentators. Hard to win Elections like this! ** [https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/trump-goes-ballistic-fox-news-225559417.html "Trump Goes Ballistic on Fox News Anchor Jacqui Heinrich, Claims MAGA Republicans ‘Hate’ the Channel"] ''Mediaite / Yahoo News'' (May 11, 2026) * I’m serious about beginning a process to make Venezuela the 51st state. ** [https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/trump-wants-oil-rich-nation-205314886.html "Trump wants this oil-rich nation as the 51st state. Its leader has a message for him."] ''nj.com'' (May 12, 2026) * The only thing that matters when I’m talking about Iran — they can’t have a nuclear weapon. <b>I don’t think about Americans’ financial situation.</b> I don’t think about anybody. I think about one thing — we cannot let Iran have a nuclear weapon. That’s all. ** [https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/trump-not-thinking-american-finances-iran-talk-rcna344785 "Trump says he’s not thinking about Americans’ finances ‘even a little bit’ in Iran talks"] ''NBC News'' (May 12, 2026) * Dumacrats Lowe Sewage ** [https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/dumacrats-love-sewage-trump-posts-124145023.html "‘Dumacrats Love Sewage’: Trump Posts Image of Obama, Biden, Pelosi Bathing in Feces in New Truth Social Meme Spree"] ''Mediaite / Yahoo News'' (May 12, 2026) * We have a man who is doing a great job, I'll tell you. I knew it! Because he kept me out of jail for years. Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche, he kept me out of jail. ** [https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/trump-blanche-jail-quote/ "Trump said acting AG Todd Blanche kept him 'out of jail for years'"] ''Snopes fact check'' (May 13, 2026) * If they want to come in and build the plant and hire you and hire your friends and your neighbors, that’s great. I love that. <b>Let China come in, let Japan come in.</b> They are and they’ll be building plants, but they’re using our labor. ** [https://www.politico.com/news/2026/05/13/trump-xi-summit-chinese-electric-vehicles-00917652 "‘The only thing that terrifies me is BYD’: Politicians quake at Chinese EVs"] ''Politico'' (May 13, 2026) * It's a very insulting thing to tell a country we don't want your people in our schools, ** [https://www.thestandard.com.hk/china/article/332106/ "Bucking base, Trump defends Chinese students in US"] ''The Standard'' (May 15, 2026) * Frankly, I think that it’s good that people come from other countries and they learn our culture, and many of them want to stay here. I think it’s a good thing. ** [https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/maga-reeling-trump-welcomes-chinese-204217102.html "MAGA is Reeling as Trump Welcomes Chinese Students to the U.S."] ''The News Republic / Yahoo News'' (May 15, 2026) {{Disputed begin}} == Disputed == * We have certain things in common, Jeffrey. * Enigmas never age, have you noticed that? * A pal is a wonderful thing. Happy Birthday – and may every day be another wonderful secret. ** Written in a letter to [[Jeffrey Epstein]], according to [https://www.wsj.com/politics/trump-jeffrey-epstein-birthday-letter-we-have-certain-things-in-common-f918d796 "Jeffrey Epstein’s Friends Sent Him Bawdy Letters for a 50th Birthday Album. One Was From Donald Trump."] ''Wall Street Journal'' (Article behind pay wall) (July 17, 2025). Quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/jul/17/trump-epstein-grand-jury-testimony-wall-street-journal "Trump requests release of Epstein grand jury transcripts amid report of ‘bawdy’ birthday note"] ''The Guardian'' (July 18, 2025). Disputed by Donald Trump. * These people should be executed. They are scumbags. ** About whistleblowers and journalists. Attributed by [[John Bolton]] in ''{{w|The Room Where It Happened}}'', ''{{w|Simon & Schuster}}'', 2020, [https://books.google.com/books?id=QjTMDwAAQBAJ&pg=PT290 p. 290] {{cite book |isbn=978-1-9821-4805-8}} *Do you still like having sex with your wife? How often? You must have had a better fuck than your wife? Tell me about it. I have girls coming in from [[Los Angeles]] at three o'clock. We can go upstairs and have a great time. I promise. **Reported by Michael Wolff in [http://web.archive.org/web/20180107223847if_/https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DSpgpeyVMAAMcS1.jpg ''Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House''] (5 January 2018) * I hope you can see your way clear to letting this go, to letting Flynn go. He is a good guy. I hope you can let this go. ** Reported as being the words of President Trump recorded in a memo that [[James Comey]], FBI Director at the time, wrote shortly after a meeting held in the Oval Office on 14 February 2017, referring to the federal investigation into links to the Russian government of national security adviser, [[Michael T. Flynn]], who had resigned the day before. In a statement, the White House has denied the version of events in the memo. — [https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/16/us/politics/james-comey-trump-flynn-russia-investigation.html New York Times (16 May 2017)] ** Comey confirmed under oath his account of Trump's words while [https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/08/us/politics/senate-hearing-transcript.html appearing before the Senate Intelligence Committee] (8 June 2017) ** When asked about Comey's testimony during a [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hplM_DYp-Vk press conference on 9 June 2017], Trump said, "I didn't say that. I will tell you I didn't say that. And there'd be nothing wrong if I did say it according to everybody that I've read today, but I did not say that." * Why are we having all these people from shithole countries come here? ** Reportedly said in a meeting with lawmakers on immigration, as quoted in [http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/368576-trump-rips-protections-for-immigrants-from-shithole-countries-in "Trump criticized immigration from 's---hole' countries: report"] (11 January 2018), by Avery Anapol, ''The Hill''. Variant: "Why do we want all these people from shithole countries coming here?" As quoted in [http://www.cnn.com/2018/01/11/politics/trump-rock-bottom/index.html Trump's 'shithole' comment is his new rock bottom], ''CNN'', 12 January 2018. Trump denied making this comment. *** "The language used by me at the DACA meeting was tough, but this was not the language used." [https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/951793123985973248 Tweet by @realDonaldTrump] (12 January 2018) *Why do we want all these people from Africa here? They're shithole countries ... We should have more people from Norway. **[https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-trump-immigration-norway/thanks-but-no-thanks-norwegians-reject-trumps-immigration-offer-idUSKBN1F11QK 12 January 2018, per Reuters' source] ** In December 2025 Trump said: "Remember I said that to the senators that came in, the Democrats. They wanted to be bipartisan. So they came in. And they said, ‘This is totally off the record, nothing mentioned here, we want to be honest,’ because our country was going to hell. And we had a meeting. And I say: Why is it we only take people from shithole countries, right? Why can’t we have some people from Norway, Sweden – just a few – let us have a few. From Denmark – do you mind sending us a few people? Send us some nice people, do you mind? But we always take people from Somalia. Places that are a disaster, right? Filthy, dirty, disgusting, ridden with crime. *** [https://edition.cnn.com/2025/12/10/politics/donald-trump-shithole-countries-phrase "Almost eight years later, Trump confirms he used the phrase ‘shithole countries’"] ''CNN'' (December 10, 2025) *Why do we need more Haitians? Take them out. **Reportedly said in a meeting with lawmakers on immigration, as quoted in [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/donald-trump-shthole-countries-response-from-haiti-africa-el-salvador/?ftag=CNM-00-10aab8a&linkId=46885064 "'Sh*thole countries' respond to Trump's rhetoric"], ''CBS News''. Trump denied making this comment. ** "Never said anything derogatory about Haitians other than Haiti is, obviously, a very poor and troubled country. Never said "take them out." Made up by Dems. I have a wonderful relationship with Haitians. Probably should record future meetings - unfortunately, no trust!" [https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/951813216291708928 Tweet by @realDonaldTrump] (12 January 2018) *[B]lack people are too stupid to vote for me. **As quoted in [https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2018/11/michael-cohen-trump-racist-language "Michael Cohen Says Trump Repeatedly Used Racist Language in Private"] (2 November 2018), by Emily Jane Fox, ''Vanity Fair''. In a post-2018 midterm press conference, Trump denied making the comment and dismissed Cohen's claims: "That's false" — as quoted in [https://www.yahoo.com/news/president-trump-says-never-used-racist-remarks-195529076.html "President Trump says he has 'never used racist remarks'"] (7 November 2018), by Hunter Walker, ''Yahoo News''. *Name one country run by a black person that's not a shithole... Name one city. **As quoted in [https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2018/11/michael-cohen-trump-racist-language "Michael Cohen Says Trump Repeatedly Used Racist Language in Private"] (2 November 2018), by Emily Jane Fox, ''Vanity Fair''. "White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders denied those comments at the time." *Why should I go to that cemetery? It’s filled with losers .. suckers .. Who were the good guys in this war? **[https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/white-house-decision-cancel-veteran-s-cemetery-france-visit-creates-n934796 Saturday 10 November 2018] two hours before a scheduled 30-minute helicopter ride from Paris to the Aisne-Marne American Cemetery, the visit was cancelled with White House stating a rainy forecast made it too dangerous **[https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2020/09/trump-americans-who-died-at-war-are-losers-and-suckers/615997/ 3 September 2020] TheAtlantic.com writer [[Jeffrey Goldberg]] stated that "four people with firsthand knowledge of the discussion that day" (Goldberg did not provide any names) that "Trump rejected the idea of the visit because he feared his hair would become disheveled in the rain, and because he did not believe it important to honor American war dead", and described the two-sentence quote above as part of "a conversation with senior staff members on the morning of the scheduled visit". ***Goldberg also stated that during the trip (in a separate conversation) that Trump used the term "suckers" to collectively describe the 1800+ marines who died at Belleau Wood, but did not provide any surrounding words (the purported quote was the only word in quotation marks) ***the sentence about "good guys" Goldberg says was stated towards aides (not senior staff members) ****Goldberg did state a number regarding witness count of the other two statements, only for the "losers" one **[https://nationalpost.com/news/world/donald-trump-the-atlantic-john-mccain-loserstrump-denies-account-of-him-disparaging-u-s-war-dead-mccain 4 September 2020] Trump responded to Goldberg's piece "It’s a total lie. It’s fake news". **Trump also [https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1301893907295371266 tweeted that day]: "The Atlantic Magazine is dying, like most magazines, so they make up a fake story in order to gain some relevance. Story already refuted, but this is what we are up against." **press secretary [[Kayleigh McEnany]] also [https://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2020/09/04/whs_mcenany_atlantic_report_on_trump_has_been_categorically_debunked_by_witnesses_clearly_fake_news.html on September 4th] stated "The story in the Atlantic has been categorically debunked by eyewitnesses and contemporaneous documents", quoting two service members: ***""I was with the president the morning after the scheduled visit. He was extremely disappointed that arrangements could not be made to get him to the site and that the trip had been cancelled. I have worked with the president for his entire administration .. I have never heard him utter a disparaging remark of any kind about our troops." - Derek Lyons ***"there was a bad weather called in France and that the helicopters were unable to safely make the flight. Overall, the president's support and respect for our American troops past and present is unquestionable" - Dan Walsh **following Goldberg's piece that same day, [[James LaPorta]] wrote [https://apnews.com/article/b823f2c285641a4a09a96a0b195636ed on AP] "A senior Defense Department official with firsthand knowledge of events and a senior U.S. Marine Corps officer who was told about Trump’s comments confirmed some of the remarks to The Associated Press, including the 2018 cemetery comments." {{Disputed end}} {{misattributed begin}} == Misattributed == * I have a really high IQ, Phil. I mean, c'mon. It's impossible for me to not be atheist. ** Attributed by photo meme to an appearance on ''The Phil Donahue Show'' in 1989. [http://www.snopes.com/trump-donahue-atheist-1989/ According to Snopes.com], there is no evidence he ever said this, nor that he even appeared on ''The Phil Donahue Show'' in 1989. * This has been the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals, maybe ever. ** Actual quote was "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl2QShtOwbU NAFTA is the worst trade deal maybe ever signed anywhere, but certainly ever signed in this country.]" * If I were to run, I'd run as a Republican. They're the dumbest group of voters in the country. They believe anything on Fox News. I could lie and they'd still eat it up. I bet my numbers would be terrific. ** There is no record of Trump ever saying this; sometimes "''People'' magazine, 1998" is ''incorrectly'' given as the "source" of this quotation — [http://www.snopes.com/1998-trump-people-quote/ snopes.com]; [https://www.truthorfiction.com/donald-trump-said-republicans-are-the-dumbest-group-of-voters/ truthorfiction.com] * The harder I work, the luckier I get. ** Originated with [[Samuel Goldwyn]] as a paraphrase of a proverb from a collection by Coleman Cox, but similar proverbs have existed since the 16th century. [http://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/07/21/luck-hard-work/] * Life is what you do while you're waiting to die. ** [[w:Fred Ebb|Fred Ebb]], ''[[w:Zorba (musical)|Zorba]]'' (1968) * People are dying today that have never died before. ** [https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/trump-quote-never-died-before/ According to Snopes.com], there is no record of Trump saying this. * The doctors said they've never seen a body kill the Coronavirus like my body. They tested my DNA and it wasn't DNA. It was USA. ** Reportedly said by Trump after he was hospitalized with [[w:Coronavirus disease 2019|COVID-19]], following [[w:White House COVID-19 outbreak|an outbreak of the disease in the White House]]; the quote actually originates from an image featuring a fabricated subtitle overlaid on a video released by the President while he was in [[w:Walter Reed National Military Medical Center|Walter Reed National Military Medical Center]]. [https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/trump-coronavirus-kill-body/] * My blood IS the vaccine!!!!! ** Originates from a fabricated screenshot of a tweet allegedly posted on October 5, 2020, the same day Trump was released from [[w:Walter Reed National Military Medical Center|Walter Reed National Military Medical Center]] after his diagnosis of [[w:Coronavirus disease 2019|COVID-19]]. [https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/trump-my-blood-is-the-vaccine/] The fictitious quote likely refers to the donation of the [[w:blood plasma|blood plasma]] of COVID-19 survivors as a treatment method against catching the disease, a treatment of which Trump has been a vocal supporter. Trump has, however, suggested that he would consider donating his own plasma for this purpose. [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/donald-trump-donate-plasma-covid-19-coronavirus/] {{misattributed end}} ==Quotes about Trump== <small> See [[Quotes about Donald Trump]]</small> ==See also== * [[Donald Trump on social media]] * [[Donald Trump Jr.]] * [[Impeachment of Donald Trump]] * [[List of presidents of the United States]] * [[First presidency of Donald Trump]] * [[Second presidency of Donald Trump]] * [[Racial views of Donald Trump]] * [[Russian interference in the 2016 United States elections]] * [[2020 United States presidential election]] == External links== {{Sister project links|w=Donald Trump|wikt=no|b=no|s=Author:Donald Trump|commons=Donald Trump|n=Donald Trump|v=no|species=no|d=Q22686|voy=no|m=no|mw=no}} * [https://www.donaldjtrump.com/ Official website] * [https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2017/06/23/opinion/trumps-lies.html "Trump's Lies"] by [[w:David Leonhardt|David Leonhardt]] and Stuart A. Thompson - a catalog of "nearly every outright lie he has told publicly" in his first five months in office, in ''{{w|The New York Times}}'' (23 June 2017) {{Authority control}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Trump, Donald}} [[Category:Donald Trump| ]] [[Category:1946 births]] [[Category:Living people]] [[Category:Businesspeople from New York City]] [[Category:Businesspeople in real estate]] [[Category:Conspiracy theorists]] [[Category:Politicians from Florida]] [[Category:Politicians from New York City]] [[Category:Presbyterians from the United States]] [[Category:Presidents of the United States]] [[Category:Memoirists from the United States]] [[Category:Nationalists]] [[Category:Non-fiction authors from the United States]] [[Category:People charged with crimes]] [[Category:Producers from the United States]] [[Category:Republican Party (United States) politicians]] [[Category:Television personalities]] [[Category:Television producers]] [[Category:United States presidential candidates, 2000]] [[Category:United States presidential candidates, 2016]] [[Category:United States presidential candidates, 2020]] [[Category:United States presidential candidates, 2024]] [[Category:University of Pennsylvania alumni]] 1jas18kykv2o02ijxrje32jjv706sy8 0 5677 3942266 3879034 2026-05-18T09:30:51Z Joreberg 323041 /* 2025–2028 */ * This is the party of Donald Trump. 3942266 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Lindsey Graham, Official Portrait 2006.jpg|thumb|I want you to use my words against me. If there’s a Republican president in 2016 and a vacancy occurs in the last year of the first term, you can say, “Lindsey Graham said, ‘Let’s let the next president, whoever it might be, make that nomination,’” and you could use my words against me, and you’d be absolutely right.]] [[File:Lindsey Graham, official Senate photo portrait, 2006.jpg|thumb|Even if you're open-minded about compromise, you're wrong. It's a very simple answer to a complex problem.]] [[File:Conf Navy Jack (light blue).svg|thumb|There are bad people in this world who are motivated by hate.]] [[w:Lindsey Graham|'''Lindsey Olin Graham''']] (born [[July 9|9 July]] [[1955]]) is an American politician serving as the [[w:Seniority in the United States Senate|senior]] [[United States Senate|United States senator]] from [[South Carolina]], a seat he has held since 2003. A member of the [[w:Republican Party (United States)|Republican Party]], Graham served as chairman of the [[w:United States Senate Committee on the Judiciary|Senate Committee on the Judiciary]] from 2019 to 2021. ==Quotes== ===2006=== * Let's just get to the political heart of the matter, No matter what you want to call it, beyond border enforcement, a lot of people, particularly on our side, don't want to have a debate about this. Even if you debate it, you're wrong. Even if you're open-minded about compromise, you're wrong. It's a very simple answer to a complex problem. Send them all back. End of discussion, end of debate. Now that to me is not a realistic approach to a real problem. ** On immigration; [http://articles.sfgate.com/2006-03-17/news/17287919_1_guest-worker-plan-illegal-immigrants-border-crackdown-bill articles.sfgate.com, 17 March 2006 accessed 4 February 2010] ===2009=== * I'm not a libertarian. If you are, you're welcome to vote for me and help this party, but we're not gonna build the party around libertarian ideas. ** [https://listenonrepeat.com/watch/?v=14xKzja8KtE South Carolina GOP convention] (16 May 2009), as quoted in [http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2009/05/17/lindsey-graham-gets-combative-over-gop-future/ "Lindsey Graham gets combative over GOP's future"] (2009), ''Political Thinker'', State of Georgia: Cable News Network ===2010=== *I want to talk very quickly about the world as we wish it to be. As we celebrate tonight, let's embrace in our hearts the world that we all wish it to be, a world where there's no rockets from Gaza, no [[Hezbollah]] attacks from the north, where Palestinian children go to school without being taught hate -- that's the world we wish it to be. An Iran controlled by its people, not some [[theocracy]]. An Iran governed by someone other than a [[Holocaust denial|Holocaust denier]] -- that's the world we wish it to be. An Iran pursuing peaceful nuclear power, not a [[Nuclear weapons|nuclear weapon]]. A world where moderate [[Muslim|Muslims]] are celebrated, not condemned and killed. An [[Afghanistan]] where a young girl never fears the soccer stadium, but can go to school and achieve her dreams. A free and independent Iraq where Sunnis, Shias, and Kurds can settle their differences at the [[Elections|ballot box]] and through the rule of law and be an inspiration to the Mideast. A UN, a United Nations that can actually control thugs and [[dictators]]. A United Nations that would never issue the [[w:Goldstone_Report|Goldstone Report]]. That's the world as we wish it to be. This is the world as it is, and if you don't know the difference, then the world is a dangerous place. I know the difference between the world as we wish it to be and the world as it is. The world as it is, is a divided Palestinian people, a place that allows rockets to be launched from apartment buildings, a place for a [[Mosque|mosques]] are weapon storage sites, a place where school children are taught hate -- that's the world as it is. **[[Lindsey Graham]], [https://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/lindseygrahamaipac2010.htm Speech to the American Israel Public Affairs Committee], delivered 22 March 2010 ===2015=== * And here's the first thing I would do if I were president of the United States. I wouldn't let Congress leave town until we fix this. I would literally use the military to keep them in if I had to. We're not leaving town until we restore these defense cuts. We are not leaving town until we restore the intel cuts. ** [http://benswann.com/graham-military-force-congress/ "Politics and Pies"] forum hosted by Concord City Republican Committee (7 March 2015) *I am running (for president) because I think the world is falling apart. **As quoted in [https://www.yahoo.com/politics/lindsey-graham-i-am-running-because-the-world-is-119274762516.html "Lindsey Graham announcing at CBS “This Morning” interview his presidential bid"] (18 May 2015), by Dylan Stableford, "YAHOO Politics" * "Everything I know about the Iranians I learned at the pool room," [Graham] said. "I met a lot of liars, and I know the Iranians are lying." ** As quoted in [http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-32850481 "Republican conference: Day two - Bush 'proud' of family"] (22 May 2015), by Anthony Zurcher, ''BBC News'', United Kingdom: British Broadcasting Corporation *We have never seen more threats against our nation and its citizens than we do today. **As quoted in [http://nationalinterest.org/feature/america%E2%80%99s-next-top-fearmonger-12954 "America's Next Top Fearmonger: The presidential candidates compete to scare the daylights out of the U.S. public."] (22 May 2015), by Robert Golan-Vilella, ''National Interest'' * '''There are bad people in this world who are motivated by hate.''' **As quoted in [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/06/18/nikki-haley-charleston-shooting_n_7612398.html?ir=Black+Voices&ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000047 "South Carolina Governor Releases Strangely Obtuse Statement On Black Church Shooting"] (18 June 2015), by Julia Craven, ''The Huffington Post'' *I can't explain this. I don't know what would make a young man at 21 get so sick and twisted to kill nine people in a church; this is beyond my understanding... There are real people out there who are organized to kill people in religion and based on race. But it's 2015 there are people out there looking for Christians to kill them. So this is a mean time we live in. **As quoted in [http://abcnews.go.com/US/lindsey-graham-sc-church-shooting-suspect-dylann-roof/story?id=31877465 "Lindsey Graham Says SC Church Shooting Suspect Dylann Roof Was His Niece's Classmate"] (18 June 2015), by Ali Dukakis, ''ABC News'' *As a party, we are better to risk losing without Donald Trump than trying to win with him. Enough already with Mister Trump. **[http://www.examiner.com/article/lindsey-graham-better-for-a-democrat-to-win-the-white-house-than-donald-trump ''Twitter'' post] (August 2015) ===2016=== *It’s like [choosing between] being shot or poisoned. ** Lindsey Graham about whether he would choose [[Donald Trump|Trump]] or Cruz for the President of the United States. February 21, 2016 *If you killed [[Ted Cruz]] on the floor of the Senate, and the trial was in the Senate, nobody could convict you. ** Graham commenting on unpopularity of Cruz in the Senate. As quoted in [http://edition.cnn.com/2016/02/26/politics/lindsey-graham-ted-cruz-dinner/] February 26, 2016 * If we nominate Trump, we will get destroyed... and we will deserve it. ** Commenting on the long-term effect a Trump nomination would have on the Republican Party (5 May 2016) * Embracing Donald Trump is embracing demographic death. ** Commenting on Donald J. Trump's unpopularity among Hispanic American voters (6 May 2016) *'''I want you to use my words against me.''' If there’s a Republican president in 2016 and a vacancy [on the United States Supreme Court] occurs in the last year of the first term, you can say, “Lindsey Graham said, ‘Let’s let the next president, whoever it might be, make that nomination,’” and you could use my words against me, and you’d be absolutely right. ** Commenting on Mitch McConnell's decision to obstruct the Merrick Garland Supreme Court nomination on the grounds that the 2016 election was less than nine months away, [https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/chrisgeidner/lindsey-graham-warns-of-consequences-if-gop-blocks-obama-cou March 10, 2016]; when such a vacancy occurred as a result of the September 2020 death of {{W|Ruth Bader Ginsburg}}, Graham endorsed having her replacement be appointed by then-incumbent Republican president Donald Trump, even though the 2020 election was less than two months away. ===2017–2020=== *Our government has a responsibility to defend our borders, but we must do so in a way that makes us safer and upholds all that is decent and exceptional about our nation. **[http://www.mccain.senate.gov/public/index.cfm/2017/1/statement-by-senators-mccain-graham-on-executive-order-on-immigration Statement by Senators McCain & Graham on Executive Order on Immigration (27 January 2017) from the Office of Senator John McCain] regarding [Donald J. Trump]'s [[w:Executive Order 13769|Executive Order 13769 entitled "Protecting the Nation from Foreign Terrorist Entry into the United States"]], as quoted by [http://reason.com/blog/2017/01/31/here-is-what-republican-critics-of-trump Jacob Sallum from ''Reason'' magazine in ''Here Is What Republican Critics of Trump's Immigration Order Are Saying'' on January 31, 2017] *Finally, a president willing to take on this absurd policy of birthright citizenship.<br>I’ve always supported comprehensive immigration reform – and at the same time – the elimination of birthright citizenship.<br>In addition, I plan to introduce legislation along the same lines as the proposed executive order from President **[https://twitter.com/LindseyGrahamSC/status/1057282345991106560 7:45am] then [https://twitter.com/LindseyGrahamSC/status/1057283734519463937 7:51am] then [https://twitter.com/LindseyGrahamSC/status/1057286251517116416 11:01am] as quoted [https://www.cbc.ca/news/world/trump-birthright-citizenship-1.4883589 30 October 2018 by CBC] *I am trying to give a pretty clear signal I have made up my mind. '''I'm not trying to pretend to be a fair juror here.''' [https://www.cnn.com/2019/12/14/politics/lindsey-graham-trump-impeachment-trial/index.html 'I'm not trying to pretend to be a fair juror here': Graham predicts Trump impeachment will 'die quickly' in Senate], December 14, 2019 *To young people out there, young people of color, young immigrants, this is a great state, but one thing I can say without any doubt, you can be an African American and go to the Senate but you just have to share our values. If you’re a young, African American or an immigrant, you can go anywhere in this state, you just need to be conservative, not liberal. [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/oct/10/lindsey-graham-black-people-immigrants-south-carolina Graham debating Jamie Harrison in Columbia, South Carolina] ===2021–2024=== *What are you doing? Take back the Senate!<br />You've got guns. Use them. We give you guns for a reason, use them.<br />Lethal force should have been used.<br />How come you didn't protect us? It's doing your job. **Comments (January 6, 2021), as cited by Joseph Choi [https://thehill.com/homenews/senate/579453-graham-told-officers-on-jan-6-to-use-their-guns-on-rioters-report "Graham told officers on Jan. 6 to use their guns on rioters: report"], ''The Hill'' (November 1, 2021) ** "Lethal force" was used, as Ashli Babbitt was fatally shot. *I don’t want to reinforce that defiling the Capitol was okay. I don’t want to do anything that would make this more likely in the future.<br />I hope they go to jail and get the book thrown at them because they deserve it. ** [https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2022/01/hope-go-jail-get-book-thrown-deserve-lindsey-graham-susan-collins-buck-trump-vow-persecute-jan-6ers/ ''The Gateway Pundit''] (January 30, 2022) * It is a sad day for the Supreme Court and a dangerous day for the Rule of Law. The radical assault on our institutions and the Constitution itself has reached a new level with the release of a draft opinion on a major issue facing the Court :*[https://www.politico.com/news/2022/05/03/congress-supreme-court-abortion-reactions-00029682 "Collins, Manchin and other lawmakers react to the Supreme Court draft opinion"], ''Politico'' (May 3, 2022) * If there’s a prosecution of Donald Trump for mishandling classified information, after the [[Hillary Clinton|Clinton]] debacle … there’ll be riots in the streets. **[https://news.yahoo.com/lindsey-graham-warns-riots-streets-085738204.html "Lindsey Graham Warns Of 'Riots In Streets' If Trump Is Charged Over Classified Docs"] (August 29, 2022), Quote made on Fox News' ''Sunday Night in America'' on August 28, 2022.) *Here’s an offer to my Russian ‘friends’ who want to arrest and try me for calling out the Putin regime as being war criminals: I will submit to jurisdiction of the International Criminal Court if you do. **[https://www.politico.com/news/2023/05/29/lindsey-graham-putin-russia-warrant-hague-00099168 ''Politico''] (May 29, 2023) *[Military assistance to Ukraine] The best money we’ve ever spent. **[https://www.reuters.com/article/fact-check-longer-video-shows-lindsey-gr-idUSL1N37S1QH "Longer video shows Lindsey Graham did not call Russians dying ‘the best money we’ve ever spent'"], ''Reuters'' (May 31, 2023) *They're sitting on $10 to $12 trillion of critical minerals in Ukraine. They could be the richest country in all of Europe. I don't want to give that money and those assets to Putin to share with China. If we help Ukraine now, they can become the best business partner we ever dreamed of, that $10 to $12 trillion of critical mineral assets could be used by Ukraine and the West, not given to Putin and China. This is a very big deal how Ukraine ends. Let's help them win a war we can't afford to lose. Let's find a solution to this war. But they're sitting on a gold mine. To give Putin $10 or $12 trillion for critical minerals that he will share with China is ridiculous. **[https://www.cbsnews.com/news/lindsey-graham-senator-south-carolina-face-the-nation-transcript-06-09-2024/ "Transcript: Sen. Lindsey Graham on "Face the Nation"], ''CBS News'' (June 9, 2024) *They just need weapons to free their country of a terrible invasion. They're sitting on a trillion dollars' worth of minerals that could be good to our economy. So I want to keep helping our friends in Ukraine. We can win this. They need our help. **[https://twitter.com/LindseyGrahamSC/status/1832160396846776710 Statement], ''X'' (September 6, 2024) ===2025–2028=== * The Prime Minister [i.e. [[Benjamin Netanyahu]]] convinced me that Israel is developing weapons that will change the future of warfare. They would love to partner with the United States, which is the most important form of aid we could ever give them and the most important event that would provide security to both countries. ** "[https://www.lgraham.senate.gov/public/index.cfm/2026/1/statement-from-u-s-senator-lindsey-graham-r-south-carolina Statement from U.S. Senator Lindsey Graham]", ''United States Senate'' (January 18, 2026). * If Syrian government forces continue to advance in the north toward Raqqa, I will push for reimposing Caesar Act sanctions on steroids. Apparently no one in Syria is listening to me or other U.S. government officials. If this continues, not only will there be bone-crushing sanctions, it will permanently damage relationships between the U.S. and the new Syrian government. ** "[https://www.rudaw.net/english/middleeast/syria/190120265 Veteran US senator threatens Syria with 'bone-crushing' sanctions amid advance on Raqqa]", ''Rudaw'' (January 19, 2026). * This is the party of Donald Trump. ** [https://www.yahoo.com/news/politics/article/this-is-the-party-of-donald-trump-lindsey-graham-says-bill-cassidy-lost-his-primary-because-he-tried-to-destroy-the-president-155306204.html "'This is the party of Donald Trump': Lindsey Graham says Bill Cassidy lost his primary because he 'tried to destroy' the president"] ''Yahoo News'' (May 17, 2026) ==Quotes about Graham== * Senator Lindsey Graham, a South Carolina Republican and frequent critic of Iran’s Ayatollah Ali Khamenei’s regime, posted a message on X in support of the widespread protests happening in the Mideast nation and assuring the protesters that President Donald Trump has “noticed” their resistance. “When President Trump says Make Iran Great Again, it means the protestors in Iran must prevail over the ayatollah,” Graham wrote, in part. “To all who are sacrificing in Iran, God bless. Help is on the way.”<br>Anti-government protests have spread across Iran, marking the most significant challenge to the Ayatollah’s rule since the 2022 protests that kicked off following the death of Mahsa Amini.<br>The newest wave of protests has unfolded over the past two weeks, with the Associated Press reporting the death toll has grown to at least 72 and over 2,300 others detained, citing the U.S.-based Human Rights Activists News Agency. The Iranian government is attempting to crackdown on the demonstrations that started in response to a deteriorating economy and a currency that is plummeting in value as inflation spikes.<br>Authorities initially sought dialogue with the protesters, seeking to avoid the images that marked the mass protests in 2019 and 2022, but ultimately the unrest continued to spread and violence at the hands of the security forces unfolded. ** Peter Aitken, [https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/lindsey-graham-cheers-on-iran-protests-help-is-on-the-way/ar-AA1TYaL8?ocid=msedgntp&pc=NMTS&cvid=6963661c28904bd98d50319d0aeeb238&ei=20/"Lindsey Graham cheers on Iran protests: "Help is on the way""], ''Newsweek'', 10 January 2026 * Graham reposted a ''New York Post'' article that mentioned Trump reposting an earlier message about Iran, to which the senator added a new message in support of and directed to “THE IRANIAN PEOPLE.” “Your long nightmare is soon coming to a close. Your bravery and determination to end your oppression has been noticed by [POTUS] and all who love freedom,” the senator wrote. “...That is the clearest signal yet that he, President Trump understands Iran will never be great with the ayatollah and his henchmen in charge. To all who are sacrificing in Iran, God bless. Help is on the way.”<br>The senator’s earlier message on Saturday, which Trump reposted, hit out at the Obama administration for seemingly failing to stand up to the Iranian government “and standing behind the people of Iran protesting for a better life.” “To the regime leadership: your brutality against the great people of Iran will not go unchallenged. Make Iran Great Again,” Graham wrote, which was in turn a response to U.S. Secretary of State Marco Rubio’s own message of support for the protests. The U.S., which has had a strained, distrustful relationship with Iran since the 1979 Iranian Revolution, has been increasingly vocal on Iran in recent days. Last week, President Donald Trump voiced support for the protesters and warned Iran that the U.S. is “locked and loaded and ready to go.” ** Peter Aitken, [https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/lindsey-graham-cheers-on-iran-protests-help-is-on-the-way/ar-AA1TYaL8?ocid=msedgntp&pc=NMTS&cvid=6963661c28904bd98d50319d0aeeb238&ei=20/"Lindsey Graham cheers on Iran protests: "Help is on the way""], ''Newsweek'', 10 January 2026 *The reason to condemn Trump and Graham for their “lynching” remarks is not to score a partisan point or because it will make a difference in their language or behavior. It’s because we haven’t actually resolved the trauma of the past. Historical spaces are still contested. The scars are still present. **[[Jamelle Bouie]] [https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/25/opinion/trump-graham-lynching.html Article] (2019) *This is deeply misleading at best and laughably false at worst. You could, I suppose, defend Graham’s assertion by saying that we face a greater number of threats than we have in the past. But it makes very little sense in a country that, among other things, has seen its own White House burned down, fought a bloody civil war and two world wars, and survived several close brushes with apocalyptic thermonuclear war during the Cold War. **[[w:Robert Golan-Vilella|Robert Golan-Vilella]], as quoted in [http://nationalinterest.org/feature/america%E2%80%99s-next-top-fearmonger-12954 "America's Next Top Fearmonger: The presidential candidates compete to scare the daylights out of the U.S. public."] (22 May 2015), by R. Golan-Vilella, ''National Interest''. *The Senator's repulsive remarks are racist, period. This type of discourse should have no place in American politics... Graham essentially admits to being a bigot, because nothing says 'I'm stereotyping' more than basing judgment of an entire people solely on a handful of interactions in a pool room... Graham's racist statement raises concerns about his ability to speak on vital national security matters such as the nuclear negotiations with Iran. Because if you judge an entire people based on your experience running a pool hall-liquor store, do you really have the judgment to keep America safe? This is Graham's 'I can see Russia from my house' moment... Senator Graham owes the Iranian-American community, one of the most successful communities in the United States, an apology. And all others presidential hopefuls,Republicans and Democrats, should condemn his bigoted comments. **[[w:Trita Parsi|Trita Parsi]], as quoted in [http://www.niacouncil.org/niac-condemns-senator-grahams-racist-statement-demands-apology/ "NIAC Condemns Senator Graham’s Racist Statement, Demands Apology"] (24 May 2015), National Iranian American Council. * I would use him as a [[canary in the coalmine]] and the degree to which he has doubled, tripled and quadrupled down on [[Trump]] says everything. Whether you like him or not, he has a good political nose for his base. He knows [[South Carolina]] well and his [[w:Tasseography|reading the tea leaves]] is not to be dismissed. ** [[Mark Sanford]] according to "[https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/aug/23/mark-sanford-republican-anti-trump I’m a citizen with no country:’ Mark Sanford on turning against Trump and his party]" (August 23, 2021) * I blame myself for Lindsey Graham, because the only reason he won in the Great State of South Carolina is because I Endorsed him! ** [[Donald Trump]], quoted in [https://www.mediaite.com/trump/i-blame-myself-for-lindsey-graham-trump-continues-verbal-flogging-of-republican-senator/ "‘I Blame Myself for Lindsey Graham’: Trump Continues Verbal Flogging of Republican Senator"], Mediaite, April 8, 2024</ref> * Trump’s normally loquacious rivals are swaggeringly eager to confront Vladimir Putin, but are too invertebrate — Lindsey Graham is an honorable exception — to voice robust disgust with Trump and the spirit of, the police measures necessary for, and the cruelties that would accompany, his policy. ** George Will, [http://www.nationalreview.com/article/422916/donald-trump-immigration-deportation-republicans "Trump Should Have No Place in the Party of Liberty and Limited Government"] (22 August 2015), ''National Review''. * Trump seemed to love the adulation but said to Graham, "You're a middle-of-the-road guy. I want you to be 100 percent for Trump." This resembled the loyalty pledge that then FBI director James Comey said that Trump had asked of him. According to Comey, Trump had said, "I need loyalty. I expect loyalty," during their now famous one-on-one Green Room dinner in the White House during the first week of the Trump presidency. "Okay, what's the issue?" Graham asked, "and I'll tell you whether I'm 100 percent for you or not." "You're like 82 percent," Trump said. "Well, some days I'm 100 percent. Some days I may be zero." "I want you to be a 100 percent guy." "Why would you want me to tell you you're right when I think you're wrong? What good does that do for you or me?" Graham asked. "Presidents need people that can tell them the truth as they see it. It's up to you to see if I'm full of shit." ** [[Bob Woodward]], ''Fear: Trump in the White House'' (2018), p. 317 * The dead-seated hatreds of American politics flourished in the Trump years. He stoked them, and did not make concerted efforts to bring the country together. Nor did the Democrats. Trump felt deeply wronged by the Democrats who felt deeply wronged by Trump. The walls between them only grew higher and thicker. My 17 interviews with Trump presented a challenge. He denounced ''Fear'', my first book on him, as untrue, a "scam" and a "joke," calling me a "Dem operative." Several of those closest to him told him that the book was true, and Lindsey Graham told him that I would not put words in his mouth and would report as accurately as possible. Trump decided, for reasons that are not clear to me, that he would cooperate. To his mind, he would become a reliable source. He is reliable at times, completely unreliable at others, and often mixed... But the interviews show he vacillated, prevaricated and at times dodged his role as leader of the country despite his "I alone can fix it" rhetoric. As America and the world know, Trump is an overpowering presence. He loves spectacle. In a time of crisis, the operational is much more important than the political or the personal. For tens of millions the optimistic American story has turned into a nightmare. ** [[Bob Woodward]], ''Rage'' (2020), p. 389-390 == External links == {{wikipedia}} {{commons category}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Graham, Lindsey}} [[Category:1955 births]] [[Category:Living people]] [[Category:Political leaders]] [[Category:Members of the United States Senate]] [[Category:United States presidential candidates, 2016]] [[Category:Republican Party (United States) politicians]] [[Category:Lawyers from the United States]] [[Category:Politicians from South Carolina]] [[Category:Members of the United States House of Representatives]] [[Category:Baptists from the United States]] [[Category:United States Air Force people]] mff3y4p0czo7oq7ph8nh7joayav5v5l 0 5712 3942246 3927142 2026-05-18T04:22:08Z HyperAnd 3211135 /* 2025 */ Fix typo 3942246 wikitext text/x-wiki [[file:Wikipedia-logo-v2.svg|thumb|right|Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.]] [[file:Jimmy Wales accessing Wikipedia.jpg|thumb|[[Imagine]] a [[world]] in which every single person on the [[planet]] is given [[free]] access to the sum of all [[human]] [[knowledge]]. That's what we're doing.]] [[File:Active editors at the English Wikipedia 2001–2023.png|thumb|Active editors at the English Wikipedia 2001–2023]] <!--'''Wikipedia''' is a [[w:wiki|wiki]]-based, openly-editable [[w:online encyclopedia|online encyclopedia]] stewarded by the nonprofit [[Wikimedia]] Foundation.--> '''[[w:Wikipedia|Wikipedia]]''' is a free content, multilingual online encyclopedia written and maintained by a community of volunteers through a model of open collaboration, using a wiki-based editing system. Individual contributors, also called editors, are known as Wikipedians. Wikipedia is the largest and most-read reference work in history. [[als:Wikipedia]] == Quotes == <!-- in chronological order --> ===2000s=== ====2000==== * '''What if we could get everyone in the world together to record what they know in one place?''' ** [[Jimmy Wales|Jimmy Wales]], when recruiting [[Larry Sanger]] in January 2000,<!--after Y2K and before January appointment leaves this date--> [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2c9mRKFy5fU The early history of Wikipedia (part 1)] (1:49), Larry Sanger (7 May 2010) [[File:Wikipedia app iOS.jpg|thumb|A view of the [[wikipedia:Wikipedia App|Wikipedia App]], the official [[wikipedia:Application software|app]] of Wikipedia. Any user can install Wikipedia, and you can install, before this, the Wikipedia App to download Wikipedia free and for this, a user need to go to {| class="wikitable" |https://github.com/wikimedia/wikipedia-ios |} or to https://github.com/wikimedia/apps-win8-wikipedia]] ====2001==== * At present I am overworked and the [Nupedia] project is suffering to some extent as a result... I just don't have the time to find lead reviewers for the articles listed [in "General and Other"]. The problem is that it is VERY difficult to find *specialists* on each of those topics.<!--quote suggests clearly the circumstances which immediately preceded the wiki--> ** [[Larry Sanger]], [http://web.archive.org/web/20030503011149/http://www.nupedia.com/pipermail/nupedia-l/2001-January/000671.html Thread: General and Other editor and editorial changes?], ''Nupedia-l mailing list'' (5 January 2001) * It's an idea to add a little feature to Nupedia. ..."Wiki," pronounced \wee'-kee\, derives from a Polynesian word, "wikiwiki," but what it means is a VERY open, VERY publicly-editable series of web pages. ... I can start a page ... Anyone else (yes, absolutely anyone else) can come along and make absolutely any changes to it that he wants to. ... On the page I create, I can link to any other pages, and of course anyone can link to mine. The project is billed and pursued as a public resource. There are a few announced suggestions or rules. ... As to Nupedia's use of a wiki, this is the ULTIMATE "open" and simple format for developing content. We have occasionally bandied about ideas for simpler, more open projects to either replace or supplement Nupedia. ... [It] can be a place where additional changes and commentary can be gleaned... The content can be licensed under an open content license. On the front page of the Nupedia wiki we'd make it ABSOLUTELY clear that this is experimental... ** [[Larry Sanger]], [http://web.archive.org/web/20030414014355/http://www.nupedia.com/pipermail/nupedia-l/2001-January/000676.html Thread: Let's make a wiki], ''Nupedia-l mailing list'' (10 January 2001) * We wouldn't call it "the Nupedia wiki" though that's what it would be. ... On the "wikipedia" we would say that this is a supplementary project to Nupedia which operates entirely independently. ** [[Larry Sanger]], [http://web.archive.org/web/20030414021138/http:/www.nupedia.com/pipermail/nupedia-l/2001-January/000680.html Thread: Re: [Advisory-l] The wiki...], ''Nupedia-l mailing list'' (11 January 2001) * It was a cold Friday evening in January 2001. I was on duty in one of my uni's computer labs... : At first I was a bit intimidated about the entries and discussions, which I saw there. The main contributors at the time were Jimbo, Larry and w:Josh Grosse. The 'Pedia had ca. 700 (!) entries, and was still using the weird Camel Case format, which made links appear in the manner of w:PortugaL or w:PolanD. After a bit of lurking around I quickly figured out what the purpose of the project was, and came to the simple conclusion "Me likes thees!". : What followed were normal symptoms of my gradual turning into a w:Wikipediholic. I spent a large portion of my free time starting entries, editing, and cross-linking. I witnessed the project grow gradually and in waves as it became more popular (slashdotting, etc.). During the Summer, doing the hard job of an analyst at a medium-sized Polish financial institution kept me away for a while. I was back in mid-September. And I intend to stay for as long as I can, or until my cable modem dies on me. ** +wojpob [[Meta:How I became a Wikipedian#In a galaxy far, far away… |How I became a Wikipedian]] (8 December 2001) * Hello, World! ** [[Jimmy Wales]], first edit on the [[w:UseModWiki|UseModWiki]] home page on 15 January 2001, as cited by Biz Carson, [http://www.businessinsider.com/wikipedias-first-words-hello-world-2016-3 The first words on Wikipedia were a nerdy programmer in-joke] (13 March 2016), and confirmed by Wales in [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User_talk%3AJimbo_Wales&diff=392514555&oldid=392508515 User talk:Jimbo Wales] (24 October 2001) * ...why 2 sites, or 2 encyclopedias? My impression of them is Wikipedia is the "everyman's" encyclopedia and Nupedia is for the university elite. I looked at being a writer [for Nupedia] but I really felt I wouldn't be welcome since I'm just a college graduate of a two year program for corporate communications. ** Laura T. in [https://lists.wikimedia.org/pipermail/wikipedia-l/2001-October/000665.html Thread: LinkBacks?], ''Wikipedia-l mailing list'' (30 October 2001) * After a year or so of working on Nupedia, Larry had the idea to use Wiki software for a separate project specifically for people like you (and me!) who are intimidated and bored (sorry, Nupedia!) with the tedium of the process. As it turns out, Wikipedia is dramatically more successful on some measures, ... The main thing about Wikipedia is that it is fun and addictive. ** [[Jimmy Wales]] in [https://lists.wikimedia.org/pipermail/wikipedia-l/2001-October/000671.html Thread: LinkBacks?], ''Wikipedia-l mailing list'' (30 October 2001) * Wikis don't work if people aren't bold. You've got to get out there and make those changes, correct that grammar, add those facts, make that language precise, etc., etc. It's OK. It's what everyone expects. So you should never ask, "Why aren't these pages copyedited?" Amazingly, it all works out. It does require some amount of politeness, but it works. You'll see. ** [[Larry Sanger]] in [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Be_bold&oldid=238127 Wikipedia:Be bold] (30 October, 2001) ====2002==== * Larry Sanger resigned on March 1st, 2002. He won't even stay as a volunteer. The project now no longer has a leader (or, put another way, everyone is a leader now). **''AnonymousDonor'' on Meatball Wiki in March 2002, as quoted in [http://larrysanger.org/roleinwp.html "My role in Wikipedia (links)"] (c. 2009) * Now that Larry Sanger is gone, Wikipedia's owners will have to watch whether the project manages the transition to effective self-regulation and step in if necessary. **[[w:Erik Möller|Erik Möller]] of the WikiMedia Board in [[:w:Kuro5hin|Kuro5hin]] in March 2002, as quoted in [http://larrysanger.org/roleinwp.html "My role in Wikipedia (links)"] (c. 2009) * The bar to contribution is very low, and if there is any elite in charge, then with all due respect [...], our elite would seem rather less than impressive compared to the leading members of the intelligentsia that contribute to the likes of Britannica. ... The free encyclopedia movement [...] doesn't seem to be travelling in the direction of being led by world-class thinkers, scholars, and scientists,... Basically, Wikipedia is the only game left in town as far as the free encyclopedia movement is concerned. ** [[Larry Sanger]], [https://lists.wikimedia.org/pipermail/wikipedia-l/2002-September/004531.html "Why the free encyclopedia movement needs to be more like the free software movement"], 1 September 2002 ====2003==== * The Wikipedia, perhaps one of the greatest testaments to the generosity on the web, has just hit a milestone of 100,000 articles, a week after its second birthday. ... What makes the Wikipedia so compelling – and this article so hard to finish – is the way everything is so massively linked. You read one entry, and before you know it, you're reading up on Anne Boleyn or Italian greyhounds. But more than that, anyone can add to or edit an entry, or even create another one. ** [[w:Ben Hammersley|Ben Hammersley]], [https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2003/jan/30/onlinesupplement1 Common knowledge], ''The Guardian'' (30 January 2003) * The current versions of these [Wikipedia] articles aren't necessarily the best way to handle it; I think they would do better to discuss *and debunk* racist notions as much as possible, putting them in the proper context so when some kid hears about "racialism" or "reverse racism" and then looks it up on Wikipedia they'll see a rational, neutral explanation of what makes some people think and speak that way – so they'll _understand_ why to discount those ideas. ... There are lessons to be learned from the evil that men do. ** [[w:Brion Vibber|Brion Vibber]], in [https://lists.wikimedia.org/pipermail/wikipedia-l/2003-January/008799.html Thread: Jimbo ? Others advices ?], ''Wikipedia-l mailing list'' (31 January 2003) * Even racists have the right to freedom of expression. But, not on wikipedia. ... The policies of wikipedia, even the [[wikipedia:French Wikipedia|French Wikipedia]], aren't constrained by French law. Yahoo caved in to French censorship efforts because they are a large company with many business interests in France. We do not have that problem. ... Anyhow, no article in Wikipedia should ever directly contradict or directly support any controversial statement of moral principle such as the [[Universal Declaration of Human Rights]]. That's not NPOV, and it's not our mission. ... You are right not to tolerate this kind of sentence. ... But, not becau[s]e of French law! Because of NPOV. ** [[Jimmy Wales]] in [https://lists.wikimedia.org/pipermail/wikipedia-l/2003-January/008822.html Thread: Jimbo ? Others advices ?] and [https://lists.wikimedia.org/pipermail/wikipedia-l/2003-January/008823.html Thread: Racialisme], ''Wikipedia-l mailing list'' (31 January 2003) * This may sound like a recipe for disaster, but the results are impressive. While many of the site's 130,000-plus articles are definitely works in progress, many are rich, concise, and polished. ... Surprisingly, our time spent on Wikipedia turned up no junk entries and no defacements. ... A few of the articles seemed a bit dated, and we came across many red links or blue links that led to single-sentence placeholders. But for the most part, the items were useful and thoughtful. ** Sean Carroll, [http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2266624,00.asp Site of the Week: Wikipedia], ''[[w:PC Magazine|PC Magazine]]'' (6 June 2003) ====2004==== *'''[[Imagine]] a [[world]] in which every single person on the [[planet]] is given [[free]] access to the sum of [[all]] [[human]] [[knowledge]]. That's what we're [[doing]].''' ** [[Jimmy Wales]], as quoted in [http://interviews.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=04/07/28/1351230 "Wikimedia Founder Jimmy Wales Responds,"] by Robin "Roblimo" Miller, ''Slashdot'' (28 July 2004) * However closely a Wikipedia article may at some point in its life attain to reliability, it is forever open to the uninformed or semiliterate meddler. ** Critique given by former [[w:Encyclopædia Britannica|Encyclopædia Britannica]] editor [[w:Robert McHenry|Robert McHenry]] in a frequently cited 2004 piece, ''The Faith-Based Encyclopedia'' * The user who visits Wikipedia to learn about some subject, to confirm some matter of fact, is rather in the position of a visitor to a public restroom. It may be obviously dirty, so that he knows to exercise great care, or it may seem fairly clean, so that he may be lulled into a false sense of security. What he certainly does not know is who has used the facilities before him. ** Critique given by former [[w:Encyclopædia Britannica|Encyclopædia Britannica]] editor [[w:Robert McHenry|Robert McHenry]] in a frequently cited 2004 piece [https://web.archive.org/web/20101204040824/http://www.ideasinactiontv.com/tcs_daily/2004/11/the-faith-based-encyclopedia.html "The Faith-Based Encyclopedia"] *"encyclopedia ... that anyone can edit" ** [[User:Lowellian]], from [[:wikipedia:special:diff/7558898/7663390|Main Page edit]] (16 November 2004) ====2006==== [[File:Stephen Colbert 2 by David Shankbone.jpg|thumb|If I want to say he didn't that's my right, and now, thanks to Wikipedia – it's also a [[fact]]. ~&nbsp;[[Stephen Colbert]] on the ownership of slaves by [[George Washington]] ]] * I take a [[wikt:glass-half-full|half-full-glass]] view, based on a different understanding of what [Wikipedia's competition is]: not the traditional professionally produced encyclopedias, but the legions of sites that, springing up all over the Web, purport to contain answers, unverified and often unverifiable, to every topic on earth. Against that standard, Wikipedia is a resounding success. ** [[w:Bertrand Meyer|Bertrand Meyer]] in [http://se.ethz.ch/~meyer/publications/wikipedia/wikipedia.pdf Defense and Illustration of Wikipedia], ''ETH Zurich / Eiffel Software'' (6-7 January 2006) *For some reason people who spend 40 years learning everything they can about, say, the Peloponnesian War – and indeed, advancing the body of human knowledge – get all pissy when their contributions are edited away by Randy in Boise who heard somewhere that sword-wielding skeletons were involved. And they get downright irate when asked politely to engage in discourse with Randy until the sword-skeleton theory can be incorporated into the article without passing judgment. ** [[w:Lore Sjöberg|Lore Sjöberg]], [https://archive.is/20120524104749/www.wired.com/software/webservices/commentary/alttext/2006/04/70670 "The Wikipedia FAQK"], ''[[w:Wired (magazine)|Wired]]'' (19 April 2006) * Wikipedia's promise is nothing less than the liberation of human knowledge – both by incorporating all of it through the collaborative process, and by freely sharing it with everybody who has access to the internet. This is a radically popular idea. ** ''The Economist'' (20 April 2006) * Shoppin' online for deals on some writable media.<br>I edit Wikipedia. ** [["Weird Al" Yankovic]], "[[w:White & Nerdy|White & Nerdy]]", ''[[w:Straight Outta Lynwood|Straight Outta Lynwood]]'' (2006) * When I visited the offices [in St. Petersburg, Florida] in March, the walls were bare, the furniture battered. With the addition of a dead plant, the suite could pass for a graduate-student lounge. ** Stacy Schiff, [https://archive.is/20121205043213/www.newyorker.com/fact/content/articles/060731fa_fact "Can Wikipedia conquer expertise?"], ''The New Yorker'' (31 July 2006) * If I want to say he didn't that's my right, and now, thanks to Wikipedia – it's also a fact. ** [[Stephen Colbert]] on the ownership of slaves by [[George Washington]], on ''The Colbert Report'' (31 July 2006) * In the media age, everybody was famous for 15 minutes. In the Wikipedia age, everybody can be an [[expert]] in five minutes. Special bonus: You can edit your own entry to make yourself seem even smarter. ** [[Stephen Colbert]], [http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/14.08/colbert.html "Be an Expert on Anything"], ''Wired Magazine'', 14:08 (14 August 2006) * Wikipedia's openness isn't a mistake; it's the source of its success. A dedicated community solves problems that official leaders wouldn't even know were there. Meanwhile, their volunteerism largely eliminates infighting about who gets to be what. ... Wikipedia's biggest problems have come when it's strayed from this path, when it's given some people official titles and specified tasks. Whenever that happens, real work slows down and squabbling speeds up. But it's an easy mistake to make, so it gets made again and again. ** [[w:Aaron Swartz|Aaron Swartz]] in [http://www.aaronsw.com/weblog/whorunswikipedia Wikimedia 2006 Elections, Part 3: Who Runs Wikipedia?], ''Raw Thought'' (7 September 2006) ====2007==== [[File:JimmyWalesJI5.jpg|thumb|[[Friedrich Hayek|Hayek]]'s work on price theory is central to my own thinking about how to manage the Wikipedia project.&nbsp; ...&nbsp; one can't [[understand]] my [[ideas]] about Wikipedia without understanding Hayek. ~&nbsp;[[Jimmy Wales]] ]] [[File:Anarchy-symbol.svg|thumb|But how does such a [[w:polycentrism|polycentric]] – even [[anarchic]] – system, composed of editors acting independently and for their own reasons, result in such an utterly useful resource?&nbsp; The answer goes back to the [[Friedrich Hayek|Hayekian]] [[inspiration]] for the project.&nbsp; Because [[editors]] receive both [[psychological]] satisfaction and material usefulness from their contributions, the project has grown to include safeguards that help guarantee that the development of the project will move in a positive direction – towards broad, accurate articles that depend on reliable, verifiable sources. ~&nbsp;Dick Clark]] *'''Hofstadter''': The entry is filled with inaccuracies, and it kind of depresses me.<br>'''Solomon:''' So fix it.<br>'''Hofstadter:''' The next day someone will fix it back. ** On "[[Douglas Hofstadter]]" article; Deborah Solomon, [http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/01/magazine/01wwlnQ4.t.html "The Mind Reader,"] ''New York Times'' (1 April 2007) * Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information. ** Michael Scott (played by [[w:Steve Carell|Steve Carell]]), ''[[The Office (U.S. TV series)|The Office]]'', ''The Negotiation'' 3.18 (5 April 2007) * As the popular joke goes, "The problem with Wikipedia is that it only works in practice. In theory, it can never work." ** Miikka Ryokas ([[w:User:Kizor|User:Kizor]]), quoted by [[Noam Cohen]], [http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/23/technology/23link.html?ex=1178510400&en=c0eb1b23e5c579f7&ei=5070 "The Latest on Virginia Tech, From Wikipedia",] ''The New York Times'' (23 April 2007); the earliest known variant is from the user page of [https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Gareth_Owen&diff=35978744 User:Gareth Owen (20 January 2006)]: "The problem with Wikipedia is that it only works in practice. In theory, it's a total disaster.") * [[Friedrich Hayek|Hayek]]'s work on [[price theory]] is central to my own thinking about how to manage the Wikipedia project.&nbsp; ...&nbsp; [O]ne can't [[understand]] my [[ideas]] about Wikipedia without understanding Hayek. ** [[Jimmy Wales]], cited by Katherine Mangu-Ward, "[http://reason.com/archives/2007/05/30/wikipedia-and-beyond Wikipedia and Beyond: Jimmy Wales' sprawling vision]," ''[[w:Reason (magazine)|Reason]]'' (June 2007); also cited by Morton Winston and Ralph Edelbach, ''Society, Ethics, and Technology'' 4th ed. (Boston, MA: Wadsworth, 2012), p. 200 * <span id="jarvis-commercial"></span> You just can't put something with commercial motive into Wikipedia. Admitting it is hardly better; it is still a crime. The Wikipedians and bloggers will attack hard and they will deserve what they get. ** On an attempt to promote a marketing slogan by creating a Wikipedia article for it ** [[w:Jeff Jarvis|Jeff Jarvis]] in [http://www.buzzmachine.com/2007/06/23/buying-their-voices/ "Buying their voices"] in ''BuzzMachine'' (23 June 2007) <!-- accessdate = 2007-06-29 --> * You set up this fantastic site, with people sending information all around the world, and you don't make any money of it! It's practically an un-American activity! ** [[w:Clive Anderson|Clive Anderson]], ''The Wikipedia Story'', [[w:BBC Radio 4|BBC Radio 4]] (24 July 2007) * There are a lot of bad things said about Wikipedia, the ninth most-visited destination on the internet.&nbsp; An encyclopedia that anyone can edit, critics argue, is one that is vulnerable to endless mistakes.&nbsp; Such criticisms have been raised by skeptics since Wikipedia's creation in 2001.&nbsp; ...&nbsp; While that ultimate goal imagined by [[Jimmy Wales|Wales]] for Wikipedia has not yet come to fruition, there is no questioning the breadth and usefulness of Wikipedia.&nbsp; Those who refused to believe that a user-generated encyclopedia could compete with the monolithic, traditional encyclopedia written by experts and organized by professional editors, were no doubt shocked when ''Nature'' magazine published a 2006 article comparing Wikipedia to the well-known ''Encyclopedia Britannica''.&nbsp; '''The article concluded that Wikipedia articles were comparable in accuracy and thoroughness to those of the older, paper encyclopedia.''' ** Dick Clark, in "[https://mises.org/library/wikipedia-what-it-good Wikipedia: What Is It Good For?]," ''Mises Daily'' (19 September 2007)<!-- , Ludwig von Mises Institute, --> * The man credited with founding Wikipedia, [[Jimmy Wales]]...was a finance major at [[w:Auburn University|Auburn University]] when the [[w:Mises Institute|Mises Institute]]'s [[w:Mark Thornton|Mark Thornton]] suggested he read "[[The Use of Knowledge in Society]]," a now-famous essay written by [[Austrian School|Austro]]-[[libertarian]] [[economist]] and [[w:Nobel Prize|Nobel]] laureate [[Friedrich von Hayek]].&nbsp; The essay argues that [[prices]] in the [[market]] represent a [[spontaneous order]] that results from the interaction of [[individuals]] with diverse [[wants]], allowing them to [[cooperate]] to achieve complex [[goals]].&nbsp; According to a June 2007 ''[[w:Reason (magazine)|Reason]]'' magazine interview, this insight of Hayek's is what led Wales to found Wikipedia.&nbsp; The rather lofty vision that inspired Wales?&nbsp; "[[Imagine]] a [[world]] in which every single [[person]] on [[Earth|the planet]] is given free access to the sum of all [[human]] [[knowledge]].&nbsp; That's what we're doing." ** Dick Clark, in "Wikipedia: What Is It Good For?," ''Mises Daily'' (19 September 2007) * But how does such a [[w:polycentrism|polycentric]] – even [[anarchism|anarchic]] – system, composed of editors acting independently and for their own reasons, result in such an utterly useful resource?&nbsp; The answer goes back to the [[Friedrich Hayek|Hayekian]] [[inspiration]] for the project.&nbsp; Because [[editors]] receive both [[psychological]] satisfaction and material usefulness from their contributions, the project has grown to include safeguards that help guarantee that the development of the project will move in a positive direction – towards broad, accurate articles that depend on reliable, verifiable sources. ** Dick Clark, in "Wikipedia: What Is It Good For?," ''Mises Daily'' (19 September 2007) * One could very aptly describe the Wikipedia system for directing the development of the project as being a [[common law]] system of sorts.&nbsp; The encyclopedia has basic policies – the [[constitutional]] [[law]] of Wikipedia – which require that articles be written from a [[neutral]] point of view, make use of verifiable sources, and include no original research.&nbsp; ...&nbsp; Whenever a content dispute does arise between editors on the "talk" pages that accompany each article, there are a host of [[w:dispute resolution|dispute resolution]] options available. ** Dick Clark, in "Wikipedia: What Is It Good For?," ''Mises Daily'' (19 September 2007) * Wikipedia's reflection of market dynamics is most easily observed in what many people view as the project's weakest areas: obscure articles that draw little traffic.&nbsp; In articles about third-rate garage bands and other topics of limited interest, one will often find factual and typographical errors at a much higher rate than in high-traffic articles such as those on "[[w:England|England]]" or "[[w:Barry Bonds|Barry Bonds]]."&nbsp; The much higher demand for [[information]] about the latter topics means that many more eyes will be combing those much-demanded articles for mistakes.&nbsp; Since Wikipedia is open to correction by anyone, it stands to reason that the articles attracting more potential editors will be of a higher quality.&nbsp; Rather than a [[failure]], this is a great demonstration of Wikipedia's [[efficient]] allocation of resources. ** Dick Clark, in "Wikipedia: What Is It Good For?," ''Mises Daily'' (19 September 2007) * The Tsunami article is well researched and extensive, only at two places a little inaccurate. The scientific Wikipedia articles are, according to my judgement, almost always good. ** [[:de:Frank Schätzing|Frank Schätzing]], SF author, quoted in [http://www.stern.de/digital/online/2-wikipedia-wissen-fuer-alle-606048.html ''Stern'' (December 2007)] * The article [Martin Luther] is ample and solidly written. Someone was really occupied with Luther and read some church histories. I give extra points for quoting from sources and the pictures. ** [[:de:Margot Käßmann|Margot Käßmann]], Lutheran bishop, quoted in [http://www.stern.de/digital/online/2-wikipedia-wissen-fuer-alle-606048.html ''Stern'' (December 2007)] * There is nothing to add to that entry [Marinade]. In my view it contains all important information. I use Wikipedia often for food chemistry. Sometimes you find something you didn't even think about. ** [[w:de:Sarah Wiener|Sarah Wiener]], TV cook, quoted in [http://www.stern.de/digital/online/2-wikipedia-wissen-fuer-alle-606048.html ''Stern'' (December 2007)] ====2008==== * I think there's more information about culture in Wikipedia than anywhere else in the world, ever. ** [[w:Tyler Cowen|Tyler Cowen]], "Why everything has changed: the recent revolution in cultural economics" in ''Journal of Cultural Economics'' (2008), 32, p. 266, DOI 10.1007/s10824-008-9074-y * Wikipedia is, at least to some extent, a ''revenge site''. People (like [Don] Murphy) who have a knack for angering and upsetting others are primary targets for that sort of treatment. This is not rocket science, folks. ... As the level of perceived “obnoxiousness” required to make someone a [Wikipedia] target continues to drop, the question becomes, ''how far will it drop?'' ** User Somey (24 March 2008), in response to [http://archive.li/EddMg#selection-1459.16-1458.1 Don Murphy - another Living Person who doesn't want a Wikipedia biography] by user blissyu2, ''[[w:Wikipedia Review|Wikipedia Review]]'' (7 September 2007) * Wikipedia is so dangerous. You go online to look up the definition of eclampsia, and three hours later you find yourself reading this earnest explanation of tentacle porn in anime. ** [[Lois McMaster Bujold]], [http://www.startribune.com/the-speculator/18174439/ The Speculator], in the Minnesota Star-Tribune (28 April 2008) * Wikipedia's version of reality has already become a monopoly. And all the prejudices and ignorance of its creators are imposed too. ** [[w:Martin Cohen (philosopher)|Martin Cohen]], [https://www.timeshighereducation.com/news/encyclopaedia-idiotica/403327.article Encyclopaedia Idiotica], ''Times Higher Education'' (28 August 2008) * Beware corporate executives posing as social visionaries. The hype may be about the fulfillment of human potential, but the reality is the exploitation of digital sharecropping. ** Seth Finkelstein, "[http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2008/sep/25/wikipedia.internet Wikipedia isn't about human potential, whatever Wales says]", ''The Guardian'' (25 September 2008) * This term "[[democratic]]" gets tossed around a lot, usually in a positive, "power to the people rather than some arbitrary ruler" sense.&nbsp; By that meaning, [[Wikipedia]] is indeed democratic.&nbsp; Yet, unlike a state democracy, 51% at the polls will not necessarily trump a Wikipedia adversary.&nbsp; So in the sense that the word "democracy" comes loaded with a "one man, one vote" [[ideology]], Wikipedia is not democratic at all.&nbsp; And it is a good thing that Wikipedia isn't a democracy. ** Dick Clark, "[https://mises.org/library/free-encyclopedia-democratic-encyclopedia Is the Free Encyclopedia a Democratic Encyclopedia?]," ''Mises Daily'' (2 October 2008) ====2009==== [[File:Main page experiment - The Anome.png|thumb|It's said that aeronautical theory says bumblebees ought not to be able to fly. Likewise, the idea that a useful, serious reference work could emerge from the contributions of thousands of "ordinary" internet users, many without scholarly qualifications, would until comparatively recently have been dismissed as absurd. ~&nbsp;[[w:John Naughton|John Naughton]] ]] * The project's advocates imagine that the problem, if they recognise one at all, lies in the variable quality of Wikipedia's individual entries. The solution is obvious: a process in which editors work on the less successful entries and remove the obviously unmerited ones.<br />In reality, the problem is much more fundamental to Wikipedia than that much of its content is a pile of dross. Whereas science and learning pursue truth, Wikipedia prizes consensus. Wikipedia has no means of arbitrating between different claims, other than how many people side with one position rather than another. That ethos is fatal to the advancement of learning. Ideas are refined by being tested; scientific method presupposes scrutiny, experiment and conflict. ** [[Oliver Kamm]] [https://web.archive.org/web/20090405022017/http://www.thefirstpost.co.uk/46900,opinion,knowledge-by-consensus-wikipedia-jimmy-wales "Wikipedia is junk"] ''The First Post: The Week'' (April 1, 2009) ** The original title of the article was "Wikipedia is junk", but in the archived save it has become deformed to simply "Wikipedia". * It's said that aeronautical theory says bumblebees ought not to be able to fly. Likewise, the idea that a useful, serious reference work could emerge from the contributions of thousands of "ordinary" internet users, many without scholarly qualifications, would until comparatively recently have been dismissed as absurd. ** [[w:John Naughton|John Naughton]], [http://www.theguardian.com/media/2009/apr/05/digital-media-referenceandlanguages "Face facts: where Britannica ruled, Wikipedia has conquered"], ''The Guardian'' (5 April 2009) * Even the founders of Wikipedia had no clue when they started the project of what it would accomplish. They dug a hole to find water, and struck oil instead. ** [[w:User:Erik Zachte|Erik Zachte]] (Wikimedia Foundation data analyst), [http://infodisiac.com/blog/2009/07/numbers-and-strategy/ "Numbers and Strategy"] {{dead link}} (24 July 2009) * A lot of articles will be locked down. The history of Wikipedia has been one of increasing barriers to changing articles ** [[Simon Pulsifer]], '''[https://www.thestar.com/news/2009/11/23/thousands_of_editors_leaving_wikipedia.html Thousands of editors leaving Wikipedia]''' (Nov. 23, 2009) * The early days were a gold rush,They attracted lots and lots of people, because a new person could write about anything. ** [[Sue Gardner]], '''[https://www.wsj.com/articles/SB125893981183759969 Volunteers Log Off as Wikipedia Ages]''' (Nov. 27, 2009 12:01 am ET) * We now see the strong emergence of the Social Web instead of the Semantic Web, and a proposal has been made to use Wikipedia, the largest hierarchical collection of information in the world, as bottom-up input for the ontologies required to give shape to the Semantic Web. ** Jaap Bloem, Menno van Doorn, and Sander Duivestein, in ''Me the media: rise of the conversation society'', [http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/ Ed. VINT printed by Bariet, The Netherlands] (2009), p. 277, <small>{{ISBN|978 90 75414 22 6}}</small> * The only solution is to shut [Wikipedia] down and scatter it to the four winds. The idea that experts don't matter but 12 year old Canadians in their basements do is beyond untenable. ... What gives any anonymous douchebag the qualifications to write about ME and then call it encyclopedic? The project has failed from the top down. There is no fixing. ** [[w:Don Murphy|Don Murphy]] writing under username "ColScott" in ''[http://wikipediareview.com/index.php?showtopic=27677&st=40 Wikipedia Review]'', (6 December 2009) ===2010s=== ====2010==== [[File:Jeffrey Tucker Freedomfest 2013.jpg|thumb|So I finally gave in and coughed up a [[donation]] for [[Wikipedia]].&nbsp; It was no trouble at all, and [[felt]] [[good]].&nbsp; ...&nbsp; It's true that giving this way doesn't make rational sense according to a [[neoclassical economics|neoclassical]] idea of what constitutes [[economic]] rationality.&nbsp; [[Wikipedia]] is free and it will be there whether I give or not.&nbsp; The same might be said of the [[:w:Ludwig von Mises Institute|Mises Institute]].&nbsp; If all we cared about were [[commerce|commercial]] exchange, I have every incentive to use the free good and never pay.&nbsp; There is no harm done in [[:w:free riding|free riding]], right?&nbsp; [[Ludwig von Mises|Mises]] himself had a broader view of rationality.&nbsp; He said that all [[actions]] are [[rational]] from the point of view of the actor.&nbsp; I'm glad to embrace that [[idea]].&nbsp; Giving in this way is not strictly a [[capitalist]] act if you define capitalism as only commercial exchange based on [[contract]].&nbsp; But if we see capitalism as the voluntary sector of [[society]] characterized by [[private property]] [[relationships]], this kind of micro-giving is part of that. ~&nbsp;[[w:Jeffrey Tucker|Jeffrey A. Tucker]] ]] * Wikipedia is effectively one-of-a-kind. No other mass-market or topically broad wikis have had meaningful success to date. Even Wikimedia's other wiki projects are not nearly as active as Wikipedia. If successful wikis are rare, Wikipedia might be a one-in-a-million lightning strike &mdash; some unique combination of factors succeeded in this case, but those circumstances are unlikely to replicate. If so, Wikipedia's rarity might also highlight its fragility. ** [[w:Eric Goldman|Eric Goldman]], Wikipedia's Labor Squeeze and its Consequences, ''Journal on Telecommunications and High Technology'', vol. 8, p. 157 (2010) * There are a number of trolls, stalkers, and psychopaths who wander around Wikipedia and the other Wikimedia projects looking for people to harass, stalk, and otherwise ruin the lives of (several have been arrested over their activities here) ... You will eventually say something that will lead back to you, and the stalkers will find it ... I decided to be myself, to never hide my personality, to always be who I am, but to utilize disinformation with regard to what I consider unimportant details: age, location, occupation, etc. ** [[w:Essjay controversy|Ryan Jordan]] quoted in [https://historynewsnetwork.org/article/125437 Wikipedia – The Dumbing Down of World Knowledge], by Edwin Black, ''History News Network'', (19 April 2010) * 1. Wikipedia has no governance to speak of. It's a land of jungle law. 2. Wikipedia has no respect for people and their works. People are treated on Wikipedia like s--t. 3. Wikipedia cannot be trusted for accurate information, considering the agenda-pushing street gangs of wiki. 4. Wikipedia pollutes the internet as well as diminishes scholarship. It floods and pollutes the search engines on the internet and pushes out good scholarship and honest debate in favor of bad scholarship, defamation, and bold face intimidation and thuggery. 5. Wikipedia needs to be brought under the rules of slander, liable [sic], defamation, and copyright laws. 6. Wikipedia should be stripped of its 501c3 status. ** A posting by ''victim of censorship'' in [[w:Wikipedia Review|Wikipedia Review]] (6 December 2009), as quoted in [https://historynewsnetwork.org/article/125437 Wikipedia – The Dumbing Down of World Knowledge], by Edwin Black, ''History News Network'' (19 April 2010) * When I write, I consult Wikipedia 30–40 times a day, because it is really helpful. When I write, I don't remember if someone was born in the 6th century or the 7th; or maybe how many n's are in "Goldmann"... Just a few years ago, for this kind of thing you could waste a lot of time. ** [[Umberto Eco]], [http://it.wikinews.org/w/index.php?title=Intervista_a_Umberto_Eco/Traduzione&oldid=876121 interview by Wikinotizie:Wiki@Home], ''Wikimedia Italia'' (24 April 2010) * At our roundtable, an audience member commented that the web was supposed to offer a [[democratic]] space in which no voices or experiences would be marginalized or ignored. Yet the coverage on Wikipedia has huge gaps, partly because of the interests and knowledge of those who have hitherto been most drawn to contributing: "more than 80 percent [[male]], more than 65 percent [[single]], more than 85 percent without [[children]], around 70 percent under the age of 30." Although Wikipedia boasts thousands of detailed, well-researched, well-referenced articles on scholarly subjects, such as its [[Featured Articles]], entries on fictional locations such as Middle-earth may be much more detailed than entries on real locations, such as countries in [[Africa]]. ** [https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Wiki-hacking:_Opening_up_the_academy_with_Wikipedia Wiki-hacking: Opening up the academy with Wikipedia], (May 29, 2010) * Two Israeli groups set up training courses in Wikipedia editing with aims to 'show the other side' over borders and culture done by Yesha Council, representing the Jewish settler movement, and the rightwing Israel Sheli (My Israel) movement. "We don't want to change Wikipedia or turn it into a propaganda arm," says Naftali Bennett, director of the Yesha Council. The problem, according to Ayelet Shaked of Israel Sheli, is that online, pro-Israeli activists are vastly outnumbered by pro-Palestinian voices. In 2008, members of the hawkish pro-Israel watchdog Camera who secretly planned to edit Wikipedia were banned from the site by administrators. Meanwhile, Yesha is building an information taskforce to engage with new media, by posting to sites such as Facebook and YouTube, and claims to have 12,000 active members, with up to 100 more signing up each month. "It turns out there is quite a thirst for this activity," says Bennett. "The Israeli public is frustrated with the way it is portrayed abroad." ** [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2010/aug/18/wikipedia-editing-zionist-groups Wikipedia editing courses launched by Zionist groups] ''The Guardian'' (August 18, 2010) * <p>So I finally gave in and coughed up a [[donation]] for [[Wikipedia]].&nbsp; It was no trouble at all, and [[felt]] [[good]].&nbsp; Now I have a sense that I'm a partial owner – a stakeholder of sorts – in this apparatus that I use every day.&nbsp; ...&nbsp; [[Giving]] like this can be habit forming.&nbsp; ...&nbsp; It's true that giving this way doesn't make rational sense according to a [[:w:neoclassical economics|neoclassical]] idea of what constitutes [[economic]] rationality.&nbsp; [[Wikipedia]] is free and it will be there whether I give or not.&nbsp; The same might be said of the [[Ludwig von Mises Institute|Mises Institute]].&nbsp; If all we cared about were [[commerce|commercial]] exchange, I have every incentive to use the free good and never pay.&nbsp; There is no harm done in [[free riding]], right?</p><p>[[Ludwig von Mises|Mises]] himself had a broader view of rationality.&nbsp; He said that all [[actions]] are [[rational]] from the point of view of the actor.&nbsp; I'm glad to embrace that [[idea]].&nbsp; Giving in this way is not strictly a [[capitalist]] act if you define capitalism as only commercial exchange based on [[contract]].&nbsp; But if we see capitalism as the voluntary sector of [[society]] characterized by [[private property]] [[relationships]], this kind of micro-giving is part of that.</p> ** [[w:Jeffrey Tucker|Jeffrey A. Tucker]], "[https://mises.org/blog/fostering-donation-culture Fostering a Donation Culture]", ''Mises Wire'', (29 December 2010) * [[w:Wikipedia|Wikipedia]] is, for many users, the primary site for information on the Web ... At present, Wikipedia hosts more than 2.9 million English-language articles, with a total of 13 million articles available in more than 250 different languages ... Wikipedia is the second-most searched site on the Internet, behind only Google. ** Michael Miller, in ''Sam's Teach Yourself Wikipedia in 10 Minutes'' (2010), p. 3 & 5 <!-- Pearson Education, inc. --><small>{{ISBN|978-0-672-33123-7}}</small> * As [[w:Wikipedia|Wikipedia]] founder [[w:Jim Wales|Jim Wales]] revealed, back in 2005, 50 percent of all Wikipedia edits were made by just 0.7 percent of users; 75 percent of all articles were written by less than 2 percent of the user base. These numbers reveal that the active Wikipedia community is a lot smaller than you might think. It's understandable, then, for this active group to be somewhat self-centered, and not always accommodating to new or casual users. ** Michael Miller, in ''Sam's Teach Yourself Wikipedia in 10 Minutes'' (2010), p. 163 <!-- Pearson Education, inc. --><small>{{ISBN|978-0-672-33123-7}}</small> ====2011==== * Concerns among the academic community about the reliability of information from Wikipedia are unlikely to ever be fully alleviated, but this has never been Wikipedia's fundamental goal. Much greater speed in adding and updating information, and involvement of the many rather than the few, have always been seen as ample compensation for any inaccuracies that emerge in the initial posting of entries. Wikipedia, like [[w:The Glass Bead Game|Castalia]], is a flawed ideal but it is, as far as can reasonably be predicted, here to stay. ** Peter Roberts & [[w:Michael Adrian Peters|Michael A. Peters]], [http://ir.canterbury.ac.nz/bitstream/handle/10092/7374/12629360_From%20Castalia%20to%20Wikipedia.pdf?sequence=1 From Castalia to Wikipedia], in ''E-Learning and Digital Media'', vol. 8, no. 1, pp. 36-46 (2011) * Intuitively [students] are using Wikipedia as one of those [new] tools, creating a new layer of information-filtering to help orient them in the early stages of serious research. As a result, Wikipedia's role as a bridge to the next layer of academic resources is growing stronger. ** Casper Grathwohl, [http://chronicle.com/article/Wikipedia-Comes-of-Age/125899?cid=trend_right_t Wikipedia Comes of Age], ''The Chronicle of Higher Education'', (7 January 2011) * America's daily political vitriol is an undeniable fact. Against that depressing background, it is good to be able to celebrate an American invention which, for all its faults, tries to spread around the world a combination of unpaid idealism, knowledge and stubborn civility. ** [[w:Timothy Garton Ash|Timothy Garton Ash]], [http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/cifamerica/2011/jan/12/wikipedia-us-pioneer-global-idealism "We've seen America's vitriol. Now let's salute Wikipedia, a US pioneer of global civility,"] ''The Guardian'' (12 January 2011); and [http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-0114-gartonash-wikipedia-20110114,0,2209707.story "Look it up: Wikipedia is turning 10"], ''The Los Angeles Times'', (14 January 2011). * It can be stunningly good on obscure corners of popular culture, and strikingly weak on mainstream matters. ** Timothy Garton Ash, "We've seen America's vitriol. Now let's salute Wikipedia, a US pioneer of global civility", ''The Guardian'', (12 January 2011) * The kind of social production that Wikipedia represents has turned from a laughable utopia to a practical reality. That's the biggest gift that Wikipedia has given to us – a vision of practical utopia that allows us to harness the more sociable, human aspects of who we are to effective collective action. ** [[w:Yochai Benkler|Yochai Benkler]], [http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2011/01/all-star-thinkers-on-wikipedias-10th-anniversary/69523/ "All-Star Thinkers on Wikipedia's 10th Anniversary"], ''The Atlantic'', (13 January 2011) *Wikipedia underscores an evolutionary lesson: We've always gotten farther as a species collaborating than going it alone. ... In the past, the groups that cooperated best lived longer and had more kids – and we inherited those tendencies. Groups would correct cheaters (people who didn't share info or goods) through social pressure. So Wikipedia is like humanity's social nature writ large electronically, complete with ongoing disputes and corrections. **[[w:Mariette DiChristina|Mariette DiChristina]], [http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2011/01/all-star-thinkers-on-wikipedias-10th-anniversary/69523/ "All-Star Thinkers on Wikipedia's 10th Anniversary"], ''The Atlantic'', (13 January 2011) * The generation of an infinite number of bogusly 'objective' sentences in an English of agonizing patchwork [[mediocrity]] is no cause for celebration, even if it eventually amounts to a [[Jorge Luis Borges|Borgesian]] paraphrase of our entire universe. ... I liked the internet better before. The mistakes had flavor, passion, transparent purpose. ** [[w:Jonathan Lethem|Jonathan Lethem]], [http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2011/01/all-star-thinkers-on-wikipedias-10th-anniversary/69523/ "All-Star Thinkers on Wikipedia's 10th Anniversary",] ''The Atlantic'', (13 January 2011) *The fundamental flaw in the way Wikipedians think about what they do is that they are entirely absorbed in rules and procedures and arguing fine points with one another and earning merit points; it has all the flavour, as has been suggested before, of a great online game. Users – the ostensible audience – are hardly considered. **[[w:Robert McHenry|Robert McHenry]], [http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2011-01/13/wikipedia-viewpoints?page=all "Viewpoints: what the world thinks of Wikipedia"], ''Wired.co.uk'', (13 January 2011) *An authority isn't a person or institution who is always right – ain't no such animal. An authority is a person or institution who has a process for lowering the likelihood that they are wrong to acceptably low levels. ... And this is what I think is really worth celebrating as Wikipedia begins its second decade. It took one of the best ideas of the last 500 years – [[peer review]] – and expanded its field of operation so dramatically that it changed the way authority is configured. **[[Clay Shirky]], [http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2011/01/all-star-thinkers-on-wikipedias-10th-anniversary/69523/ "All-Star Thinkers on Wikipedia's 10th Anniversary"], ''The Atlantic'', (13 January 2011) *Warm, kindly, humane Wikipedia didn't grow up in today's Internet. Now it's like a hothouse orchid the size of a barn. **[[Bruce Sterling]], [http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2011/01/all-star-thinkers-on-wikipedias-10th-anniversary/69523/ "All-Star Thinkers on Wikipedia's 10th Anniversary"], ''The Atlantic'', (13 January 2011) * The difference between Wikipedia and other editorially created products is that Wikipedians are not professionals, they are only asked to bring what they know. Everyone brings their crumb of information to the table. If they are not at the table, we don't benefit from their crumb. ** [[w:Sue Gardner|Sue Gardner]], as quoted in [http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/31/business/media/31link.html "Define Gender Gap? Look Up Wikipedia's Contributor List"], by Noam Cohenjan, ''New York Times'', (30 January 2011) *Every single day for the last 10 years Wikipedia has got better because someone – several million someones in all – decided to make it better. ... Wikipedia is best understood not as a product with an organisation behind it, but as an activity that happens to leave an encyclopedia in its wake. **[[Clay Shirky]], [http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/jan/14/wikipedia-unplanned-miracle-10-years "Wikipedia – an unplanned miracle"], ''The Guardian'', (14 February 2011) * Watching [[pornography]] [...] is like going to a Wikipedia page. You search for a specific thing, a specific feeling, a specific result, and that's exactly what you find. ** [[w:Meg Wolitzer|Meg Wolitzer]], "[http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/17/fashion/17Cultural.html "The Sex Drive, Idling in Neutral]", ''New York Times'', (15 April 2011) * Wikipedia was an idea whose time had come on an information-driven net whose consumers couldn't wait for the slow workings of expertise or the cost of proprietary content: a free encyclopedia written by anonymous users supposedly striving for an “unbiased” perspective. ... Wikipedia in practice has strayed from these utopian ideas because of the ease with which political and social bias trumps altruism. ... Finding examples of Wikipedia's bias is not difficult. One need only compare the entries of figures who do the same thing but from opposite sides of the political spectrum. ** David Swindle in [https://www.frontpagemag.com/fpm/102601/how-left-conquered-wikipedia-part-1-david-swindle "How the left conquered Wikipedia, Part 1"], ''FrontPage Mag'' (22 August 2011) * I am astonished at the ethical blindness of Bell Pottinger's reaction. That their strongest true response is they didn't break the law tells a lot about their view of the world, I'm afraid. ** [[Jimmy Wales]] on [[w:Bell Pottinger|Bell Pottinger]]'s admission of paid editing, [http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/wikipedia-founder-attacks-bell-pottinger-for-ethical-blindness-6273836.html Wikipedia founder attacks Bell Pottinger for 'ethical blindness'], ''Independent'' (8 December 2011) ====2012==== * But the blot on the encyclopedia's fair name is not just in the wrongness of the statement, but in its partisan and non-encyclopedic nature.... If Wikipedia wants to live up to its promise of being a reliable encyclopedic source, it will strike this and all sentences resembling it from its article on me. At most, it can use me as an example of how it was fooled by some of its all-too-partisan collaborators. Speaking of whom: the history page accompanying my page proves forever that some Wikipedia collaborators wanted to inflict on me the maximum harm possible, an attitude incompatible with work for an encyclopedia. Shouldn't Wikipedia fire them and wipe out everything they wrote? Of course they can still contribute blogs and columns, by preference under their own full names, but they have proven themselves not to be encyclopedic authorities... ** Koenraad Elst, The Argumentative Hindu (2012) * We don't want Wikipedia to be just as accurate as the Encyclopedia Britannica: We want it to have 55 times as many entries, present contentious debates fairly, and reflect brand new scholarly research, all while being edited and overseen primarily by volunteers. ** Rebecca J. Rosen, "[http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2012/02/does-wikipedia-have-an-accuracy-problem/253216/ "Does Wikipedia Have an Accuracy Problem?"], ''The Atlantic'', (16 February 2012) * Despite being staffed entirely by an army of volunteers, Wikipedia – which is not, strictly speaking, a news site – is keeping pace with conventional media outlets. Official results make their way to athletes' Wikipedia pages within hours, and sometimes minutes, of their finish. With dedicated editors working 24/7, Wikipedia pages are proving to be faster, leaner and more popular alternatives to traditional reporting. ** Brian Mossop, [http://www.wired.com/2012/08/how-wikipedia-won-olympic-gold/ "How Wikipedia won Olympic Gold"], ''Wired.com'', (10 August 2012) * Wikipedia, as you well know, is a fraudulent encyclopedia. It's sort of invented. And we all go to it. The entry under Michael Savage – I have one person who keeps trying to correct the truth. But the soviets, that is the communists, that is the liberals, that is the democrats, have at least ninety-nine people who attack my site, every time he makes a correction. For example, when he reenters that Michael Savage single-handedly stopped the Dubai Ports Deal? They take it out of there. They don't want anyone to know it. In other words, they revise my history, the way the soviets did to individuals that they wanted to destroy in their country. Now you understand why I'm not allowed on any television station. Why Michael Savage is an unknown individual in America, except to its millions of listeners. And why this show is number two on the Internet and radio. And why I have six best sellers in a row. Because somehow the truth is getting out. But I'm warning you about Wikipedia. If Wikipedia doesn't stop these ninety-nine democrat liberal soviets from modifying things that are true, then how could you rely upon a website that's so fraudulent? You can't. You can't! But I can't fight every battle every day, you understand that? ** [[Michael Savage]], ''[[:w:The Savage Nation|The Savage Nation]]'', (7 September 2012) * Wikipedians [...] act as de facto topic moderators, they often end up being biased and frequently quirky. ... Articles are often edited with the sensibility of adolescent too-clever-by-half males[, which] describes a lot of Wikipedians. ** [[Larry Sanger]], [https://www.quora.com/What-are-Wikipedias-flaws What are Wikipedia's flaws?], ''Quora'', (2 November 2012) ====2013==== * It is partly a product of history, where we came from in the early days. We were really a child of the [[w:Dot-com bubble|dot-com crash]]. There was no investment money. We were just a group of people on the internet trying to do something cool. A lot of the volunteers wanted to put it into the non-profit [Wikimedia Foundation] – made sense to me. ** [[Jimmy Wales]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hogrhfS8Tws Exclusive interview with Jimmy Wales-Founder of Wikipedia], ''Corporate Valley'', (27 March 2013) * The site I avoid at all cost is Wikipedia, which for many subjects I've found to be a trove of misinformation. I don't even have any desire to read my own Wikipedia article. ** Gwenda Bond, [http://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/new-titles/adult-announcements/article/56795-the-changing-world-of-reference-focus-on-reference-2012.html The Changing World of Reference: Focus on Reference 2013], ''Publishers Weekly'', (12 April 2013) *For any information, it is necessary to trace it back to the primary source, and unfortunately this is not always the case for online publications. This is also true for [[Wikipedia]], which considers newspapers and magazines to be reliable sources. In my case, it was first published in a magazine and then on Wikipedia that my father was a driver, but, while I have absolutely nothing against drivers, my father was a Russian interpreter. **[[Gianroberto Casaleggio]], ''[http://lettura.corriere.it/la-democrazia-va-rifondata/ La democrazia va rifondata]'' :<small>Interview of Serena Danna, ''Corriere.it'', 23 June 2013</small> * It all started one night when writer [[Amanda Filipacchi]] was browsing through Wikipedia and noticed an absence of women under the category "American novelists." At first, she thought the female writers being moved off the page were not important enough to be on it. But then she discovered some obscure male novelists were still listed, while some well-known women were not. ** ''[https://www.npr.org/2013/04/29/179850435/what-s-in-a-category-women-novelists-spark-wiki-controversy "What's In A Category? 'Women Novelists' Sparks Wiki-Controversy"]'', (April 29, 2013) * As they say, [[history]] is written by the victorious Wikipedia editors. ** Marya Hannun, "[http://blog.foreignpolicy.com/posts/2013/07/07/the_wikipedia_war_over_egypts_coup The Wikipedia War Over Egypt's 'Coup']", ''FP Passport'' (7 July 2013) * Of the approximately 7,000 languages spoken today, some 2,500 are generally considered endangered. ...less than 5% of all languages can still ascend to the digital realm. We present evidence of a massive die-off caused by the digital divide. ... To summarize a key result of this study...: No wikipedia, no ascent. ** [[w:András Kornai|András Kornai]], [http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0077056 "Digital Language Death"], ''PLoS ONE 8(10)'' (22 October 2013) * It rarely tries new things in the hope of luring visitors; in fact, it has changed little in a decade. ** Tom Simonite, [https://www.technologyreview.com/s/520446/the-decline-of-wikipedia/ "The Decline of Wikipedia"], ''MIT Technology Review'', (22 October 2013) ====2014==== * Dealing with the Wikipedians is like walking into a mental hospital: the floors are carpeted, the walls are nicely padded, but you know there's a pretty good chance at any given moment one of the inmates will pick up a knife. ** Anonymous Wiki-PR client, cited by Judith-Newman in [http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/09/fashion/Wikipedia-Judith-Newman.html?_r=0 Wikipedia-Mania], ''New York Times'' (9 January 2014) * Every single person who signed this petition needs to go back to check their premises and think harder about what it means to be honest, factual, truthful. Wikipedia's policies around this kind of thing are exactly spot-on and correct. If you can get your work published in respectable scientific journals - that is to say, if you can produce evidence through replicable scientific experiments, then Wikipedia will cover it appropriately. What we won't do is pretend that the work of lunatic charlatans is the equivalent of "true scientific discourse". ** Jimmy Wales on 23 March 2014, answering 7,790+ persons who objected to Wikipedia's coverage of "holistic approaches to healing", as quoted by Alexandra Sifferlin in [http://time.com/36938/wikipedia-founder-sticks-it-to-lunatic-holistic-healers/ “Wikipedia Founder Sticks It To 'Lunatic' Holistic Healers”], ''Time'', (25 March 2014) * Today, this [[democratic]] [[federation]] [Wikimedia] controls a large proportion of the sum of human knowledge, largely displacing the former [[Britannica]] [[Empire]] which had once stretched from A to {{w|Zymotic Diseases}}. ** [https://en.wikivoyage.org/wiki/Wikivoyage:Joke_articles/Wikipedia W!k!ped!a travel guide], (April 1, 2014) * ...when I used to teach kids, there was a fierce debate between teachers on the pro versus the anti Wikipedia side, and I always came down very strongly on the pro side, and I told my students if they were researching something for me – like Wikipedia is totally OK. Copy and pasting from Wikipedia is not, but there is no place to get a better overview from things. ... it all depends on what do you need, and if you just want to check some quick fact about something, Wikipedia is totally reliable. Now there's reasons why you can't cite it as a source, but ignoring that for the time being, Wikipedia for a huge number of people's needs is totally fine. ... the thing that is disturbing is the number times that that source link does not go anywhere, or, I have found some times where the context of the source link says something that is completely contrary to the feeling that you got from the Wikipedia page itself ... ** [[w:CGP Grey|CGP Grey]] from 31:05 in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGa3ah03uBI H.I. #1: Being Wrong on The Internet], ''Hello Internet'' on ''YouTube'', (30 April 2014) * You'd be amazed at the number of times I've been with top professors in the field and I've asked them a question and they've said, 'I'm not too sure about that, let me check', and gone straight to Wikipedia. ** [[w:Brady Haran|Brady Haran]] from 31:30 in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGa3ah03uBI H.I. #1: Being Wrong on The Internet], ''Hello Internet'' on ''YouTube'', (30 April 2014) * With such a massive amount of rules and regulations to adhere to, how is it not absolutely deterring for newcomers to join Wikipedia? Most likely, because they do not even know these rules exist. Counter-intuitive as it may sound, in spite of all the regulations, it is perfectly fine and acceptable to just use common sense when editing Wikipedia, relying on one's best judgment on how to make it a better encyclopedia. In fact, one of the Wikipedia policies goes even further and states that “If a rule prevents you from improving or maintaining Wikipedia, ignore it,” and one of the five pillars of Wikipedia claims that “Wikipedia has policies and guidelines, but they are not carved in stone; their content and interpretation can evolve over time. Their principles and spirit matter more than their literal wording, and sometimes improving Wikipedia requires making an exception.” In a similar spirit, there is a rule stating that instruction creep should be avoided and that pettifogging is not welcome. One policy, which describes what Wikipedia is not, insists that Wikipedia is not a bureaucracy. ** [[w:Dariusz Jemielniak|Dariusz Jemielniak]], [http://www.slate.com/articles/technology/future_tense/2014/06/wikipedia_s_bureaucracy_problem_and_how_to_fix_it.html "The Unbearable Bureaucracy of Wikipedia"] in ''Slate'', (22 June 2014) * Whether or not ''Wikipedia'' has managed to attain the authority level of traditional encyclopaedias, it has undoubtedly become a model of what the collaborative Internet community can and cannot do. ** The Editors of Encyclopædia Britannica, "[http://www.britannica.com/topic/Wikipedia Wikipedia]", ''Encyclopædia Britannica'', (28 October 2014) * Most have simply washed their hands of the problem, claiming that the bigotry or bias on Wikipedia is just an unfortunate side-effect that we have to accept. But this is not a trivial unintended consequence of an open source system; bias goes against the very principle of Wikipedia and must be addressed. I have to deal with this bias and misinformation every time a journalist interviews me and references my Wikipedia article. I need to spend the first 30 minutes of interviews to correct all the misleading information from my Wikipedia article... Most of the skeptic editors on my article believe me to be a very dangerous man — and believe that it is Wikipedia's responsibility to warn the world of how dangerous my ideas are. ** Deepak Chopra, [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/wikipedia-a-new-perspecti_b_5332504 Wikipedia, A New Perspective on an Old Problem], (05/15/2014) * The prime agent of this change is a development that nobody (save perhaps [[Douglas Adams]], author of ''The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy'') would have predicted.<ref>“Most of the actual work got done by any passing stranger who happened to wander into the empty offices of an afternoon and saw something worth doing.” Douglas Adams, ''Life, the Universe and Everything'' in ''[[The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy|The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: A Trilogy in Four Parts]]'' (Pan, 1992)</ref> It is called Wikipedia—an online encyclopedia collectively produced and edited by 'amateurs' who have created what is effectively the greatest reference work the world has yet produced. :Footnote: {{reflist}} :* [[w:John Naughton|John Naughton]] in: ''From Gutenberg to Zuckerberg: Disruptive Innovation in the Age of the Internet'', Quercus, 2012, Chapter 3, page 65 ===== "Encyclopedia Frown" (Dec 11, 2014) ===== <small> David Auerbach, [https://slate.com/technology/2014/12/wikipedia-editing-disputes-the-crowdsourced-encyclopedia-has-become-a-rancorous-sexist-mess.html "Encyclopedia Frown"], ''Slate'', (Dec 11, 2014) </small> * Beneath its reasonably serene surface, the website can be as ugly and bitter as [[w:4chan|4chan]] and as mind-numbingly bureaucratic as a [[Kafka]] story. And it can be particularly unwelcoming to women. *The problem instead stems from the fact that administrators and longtime editors have developed a fortress mentality in which they see new editors as dangerous intruders who will wreck their beautiful encyclopedia, and thus antagonize and even persecute them. * We can learn a lot from Wikipedia about Internet governance and collective knowledge-building. It’s ultimately up to the site’s editors to choose to learn to temper their fortress mentality, get more outside eyes and ears, listen to the most moderate and reflective among them, and perhaps even entertain the idea that they might sometimes be wrong. Wikipedia’s future may depend on it. * Wikipedia is amazing. But it’s become a rancorous, sexist, elitist, stupidly bureaucratic mess. * Last week, Wikipedia’s highest court, the Arbitration Committee, composed of 12 elected volunteers who serve one- or two-year terms, handed down a decision in a controversial case having to do with the site’s self-formed Gender Gap Task Force, the goal of which is to increase female participation on Wikipedia from its current 10 percent to 25 percent by the end of next year. The dispute, which involved ongoing hostility from a handful of prickly longtime editors, had simmered for at least 18 months. In the end, the only woman in the argument, pro-GGTF libertarian feminist Carol Moore, was indefinitely banned from all of Wikipedia over her uncivil comments toward a group of male editors, whom she at one point dubbed “the Manchester Gangbangers and their cronies/minions.” ====2015==== * And then there's Wikipedia – astroturf's dream come true. Billed as the free encyclopedia that anyone can edit, the reality can't be more different. Anonymous Wikipedia editors control and co-opt pages on behalf of special interests. They forbid and reverse edits that go against their agenda. They skew and delete information, in blatant violation of Wikipedia's own established policies, with impunity – always superior to the poor schleps who actually believe anyone can edit Wikipedia, only to discover they're barred from correcting even the simplest factual inaccuracies. Try adding a footnoted fact, or correcting a factual error on one of these monitored Wikipedia pages, then poof! Sometimes within a matter of seconds you'll find your edit is reversed. ** [[w:Sharyl Attkisson|Sharyl Attkisson]] in her TED^xUniversityofNevada talk "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bYAQ-ZZtEU Astroturf and manipulation of media messages]", published 6 February 2015 on ''YouTube'', quoted by Sarah Chaffee in [https://evolutionnews.org/2017/11/wikipedia-and-astroturf/ ''Wikipedia'' and “Astroturf”], ''Evolution News'', (30 November 2017) * Could the pressure from mobile, and the internal tensions, tear Wikipedia apart? A world without it seems unimaginable, but consider the fate of other online communities. ... The real challenges for Wikipedia are to resolve the governance disputes – the tensions among foundation employees, longtime editors trying to protect their prerogatives, and new volunteers trying to break in – and to design a mobile-oriented editing environment. ... The worst scenario is an end to Wikipedia, not with a bang but with a whimper: a long, slow decline in participation, accuracy and usefulness that is not quite dramatic enough to jolt the community into making meaningful reforms. No effort in history has gotten so much information at so little cost into the hands of so many – a feat made all the more remarkable by the absence of profit and owners. In an age of Internet giants, this most selfless of websites is worth saving. ** [[Andrew Lih]], ''[https://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/21/opinion/can-wikipedia-survive.html Can Wikipedia Survive?]'', ''{{w|The New York Times}}'', (20 June 2015) * When Wikipedia launched, it raised immediate concerns about the sanctity of accreditation – could knowledge be created by amateurs? But its steady rise in utility meant that, in time, nearly everyone made their peace with it – some more happily than others. ** Paul Ford, "[https://newrepublic.com/article/122954/chaotic-wisdom-wikipedia-paragraphs The Chaotic Wisdom of Wikipedia Paragraphs]", ''New Republic'', (8 October 2015) * The Wikimedia Foundation has gotten far off track. Every year, it builds its campaign around a budget many millions larger than the year before. ** Pete Forsyth in [http://enterprise.vnews.com/2015/12/06/wikipedia-has-lots-of-money/ “Wikipedia Has Lots of Money”], by Caitlin Dewey, ''The Washington Post'', (6 December 2015) * If you're selling to customers that you're familiar and competent with new media, and you can't manage something like Wikipedia, that's a failure. ** Pete Forsyth of Wiki Strategies, [http://observer.com/2015/12/sunshine-sachs-wikipedia-whitewash/ "The Big Oops: Sunshine Sachs' Wikipedia Whitewash"], ''Observer News'', (17 December 2015) * It is clear that our deep state is obsessed with controlling information and moulding it to fit its narrative. On Wikipedia, a number of 'users' and 'editors' have been planted to ensure that only Pakistan's official stance or the Nazaria-e-Pakistan [ideology of Pakistan] is reflected in the pages on Pakistan. Consequently, the pages on Pakistan's history read like a secondary school Pakistan Studies textbook... All alternative views on Pakistan's constitution, role of religion and federalism are stifled by this group...If one were to venture a guess it would be that these manipulators of the Pakistani narrative on sites like Wikipedia and others are operating out of some nondescript building in Islamabad's G sectors [where Pakistani intelligence agencies are located]. ** Yasser Latif Hamdani, [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Wikipedia_Signpost/2015-02-18/In_the_media#Are_Pakistan_articles_being_manipulated.3 "Manipulating the Pakistani narrative"], ''Daily Times'', (02/18/2015) ====2016==== [[File:India Nigeria Locator.png|thumb|right|In India and Nigeria, over 75% of participants said they had never heard of Wikipedia. ~&nbsp;Zachary McCune (Wikimedia Foundation)]] * A lot of students write a paper for a class, and eventually it winds up in the dustbin. When students write an article for Wikipedia, they have to learn to collaborate, to research and to write for a popular audience, and their work will benefit the millions of people using the site. ** [[w:How Wikipedia Works|Phoebe Ayers]], [http://news.mit.edu/2016/phoebe-ayers-wikipedia-erasmus-prize-0105 "MIT Libraries' Phoebe Ayers accepts Erasmus Prize on behalf of Wikipedia"], ''MIT News'' (5 January 2016) * Linux and Wikipedia (as well as other, less known achievements) show unambiguously that the idea of requiring any kind of payment for great tools, culture, or knowledge to come into being is an utter falsehood. ** [[w:Rick Falkvinge|Rick Falkvinge]], [https://torrentfreak.com/copyright-industry-rhetoric-ignores-the-existence-of-linux-and-wikipedia-011016/ "Copyright industry rhetoric ignores the existence of Linux and Wikipedia"], ''TorrentFreak'', (10 January 2016) * For a website with no paid writing staff that is still overcoming an out-of-date reputation for inaccuracy, Wikipedia punches above its weight. ...it is especially powerful in an election season: On the day of the 2012 election, Barack Obama's and Mitt Romney's entries alone were read 1.6 million times. [...] you can see a virtual version of the presidential race playing out every day. ** Jeremy B. Merrill, [http://www.nytimes.com/2016/02/02/us/politics/wikipedia-donald-trump-2016-election.html?_r=0 "On Wikipedia, Donald Trump Reigns and Facts Are Open to Debate"], (1 February 2016) * It turns out there are people, typically they're probably unemployed kids with student debt you know that are stuck in their parents' basement with Cheetos stains on their t-shirts that haven't been able to get their first job so what they do is they play games to see how long they can edit Wikipedia pages in order to have games with their friends all around the world. So my advice to you is, if you do have a Wikipedia page, check it once in a while... ** {{cite web | author = [[w:Jeb Bush|Jeb Bush]] | date = 8 February 2016 | title= Jeb Bush Remarks in Nashua, New Hampshire | url = http://www.c-span.org/video/?404395-1/jeb-bush-remarks-nashua-new-hampshire | work = C-SPAN }} * ... what Wikipedia and Facebook teach us is that social models of content curation and collaboration '''''do''''' scale. ...organisations will increasingly need to crowd-source a lot of their meta-data. ... In other words, [organisations] will need to build a Corporate Data Catalogue that looks and feels a lot like Wikipedia, but which borrows the “like” and “share” concepts from Facebook. ** Martin Willcox, [http://www.forbes.com/sites/teradata/2016/03/11/what-enterprise-information-management-can-learn-from-facebook-and-wikipedia/#694af7c027e4 What Enterprise Information Management Can Learn From Facebook And Wikipedia], ''Forbes/ Business'', (11 March 2016) * Wikipedia is the most comprehensive compendium of up-to-date knowledge assembled at gargantuan scale almost entirely by volunteers. It works, too, because they form a huge community that for reasons of camaraderie, rivalry, vanity, purity and sometimes just deep suspicion constantly monitor and vet one another's work. There are flaws in the process, but each entry is a living organism that matures and self-corrects over time. ** [[w:Bob Garfield|Bob Garfield]], [http://www.mediapost.com/publications/article/271066/revenue-who-needs-revenue.html Revenue? Who Needs Revenue?], ''Garfield at Large'', ''MediaPost'', (14 March 2016) * Wikipedia is an exceptional case. If we can figure out how it becomes sustainable, that would be a major contribution. Because it's a new way of managing human resources. ** Aleksi Aaltonen of [[w:Warwick Business School|Warwick Business School]], in [http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2016/03/wikipedia-cumulative-growth-effect/473994/ "Wikipedia and the Momentum of Tiny Edits"], by ''Adrienne Lafrance'', ''[[w:The Atlantic|The Atlantic]]'', (16 March 2016) * We thought, let's not fight Wikipedia, but instead teach students to use it better. ** Ashley Downs in [http://news.cornell.edu/stories/2016/03/cornell-takes-big-red-pen-wikipedia-life-sciences-content Cornell takes big red pen to Wikipedia life sciences content], by Amruta Byatnal, ''CornellChronicle'', (22 March 2016) * About a decade ago I migrated into community work from a non-community background. This is the guide I wish I had read back then. When I say community work, I am talking about stuff like Wikipedia: large distributed groups of people doing something together, usually online, often unpaid. Usually international, often nerdy, often (but not always) FLOSS or FLOSS-adjacent. ** [[Sue Gardner]] [https://suegardner.org "A little guide to working with online communities"], ''Suegardner.org'', (March 21, 2016) * ...people have talked about [[:w:Open-source governance|open politics]] and things like that, and its really hard sometimes to say that yes, you can apply the same principles in some other areas... <!--just because [...] the black and white turns into not just grey but different colours. Right?--> So, obviously open source in science is making a comeback. Science was there first. But then science ended up by being pretty closed with very expensive journals and some of that going on. And open source is making a comeback in science with things like arXiv<!--?--> and open journals. Wikipedia changed the world too. ... So there are other examples. I am sure there are more to come. ... It is up to you guys to make them. ** [[Linus Torvalds]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8NPllzkFhE interview with TED curator Chris Anderson], ''TED Talks'', (3 May 2016) * Like many university lecturers, I used to warn my own students off using Wikipedia (as pointless an injunction as telling them not to use Google, or not to leave their essay to the last minute). I finally gave up doing so about three years ago,... ** Peter Thonemann, [http://www.the-tls.co.uk/articles/public/encyclopedic-knowledge/ "The all-conquering Wikipedia?"], ''The Times Literary Supplement'', (25 May 2016) * Two years before Wikipedia, I had the dream, the vision, of a free encyclopedia written by volunteers in all the languages of the world. This inspiration came to me from watching the growth of free software, [[w:Open-source software|open-source software]], as most people know it. And watching programmers coming together and giving away their work for free online. ** Jimmy Wales interviewed by Joe Pascal, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4_G9Z40GIE "Founder of Wikipedia Jimmy Wales on Creating Wikipedia"], ''YouTube'', (June 2016) * In [[India]] and [[Nigeria]], over 75% of participants said they had never heard of Wikipedia. ** Zachary McCune (Wikimedia Foundation), [https://blog.wikimedia.org/2016/10/11/discovering-wikipedia/ "People all over the world have yet to discover Wikipedia. We went to them to find out why."], ''Wikimedia blog'', (11 October 2016) * Progress has been slow, but several independent ventures show how the attitudes of major players in the biomedical ecosystem are beginning to shift further, and take Wikipedia more seriously. ** Thomas Shafee, [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/the-conversation-global/wikipedia-is-already-the_b_12538740.html “Wikipedia is already the world's ‘Dr Google' - it's time for doctors and researchers to make it better”], The Blog, ''Huffington Post'', (18 October 2016) * Regardless, this new research shows that Wikipedia editors of different opinions have strived for consensus over time. That's opposed to Facebook or Twitter, where people are siloed into their own self-reinforcing echo chambers. ... Consider this a version of the “miracle of aggregation” – that large groups of people are able to act rationally and solve problems despite having vastly different interests. ** Robert Gebelhoff, [https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/in-theory/wp/2016/10/19/science-shows-wikipedia-is-the-best-part-of-the-internet “Science shows Wikipedia is the best part of the Internet”], ''The Washington Post'', (19 October 2016) ====2017==== [[File:Larry Sanger cropped.jpg|thumb|right|As the originator of [the neutrality policy,] I completely despair of persuading Wikipedians of the error of their ways. ~&nbsp;[[Larry Sanger]] ]] * ...phishing on Wikipedia is effective enough – and lucrative enough – to retain the interest of the dark net's richest dwellers. ... Although Wikipedia's editors work to root out the false links, it's a slow and never-ending fight. ** Patrick O'Neill, [https://www.cyberscoop.com/dark-net-crooks-wage-easy-profitable-phishing-war-wikipedia/ Dark net crooks wage an easy and profitable phishing scheme on Wikipedia], ''Cyberscoop'' (27 January 2017) * The researchers [...] found that the Wikipedia entries were written at a much higher reading level compared with the medication guides and well above the average consumer reading level, which could contribute to patient misunderstanding of medication information. ... The study authors conclude that as the public use of Wikipedia increases, the need for health care professionals and the pharmaceutical industry to actively educate and provide reliable resources to patients remains important. ** Mary Warner, [https://www.pharmacist.com/article/japha-study-shows-incomplete-and-inaccurate-patient-drug-information-wikipedia JAPhA study shows incomplete and inaccurate patient drug information on Wikipedia], ''pharmacist.com'', (30 January 2017) * Page views of Wikipedia are immense compared with views of primary literature articles. As a result, if you edit a page to include results from your research, your audience will likely expand by at least an order of magnitude. ** Evan B. Goldstein, [https://eos.org/opinions/three-reasons-why-earth-scientists-should-edit-wikipedia “Three Reasons Why Earth Scientists Should Edit Wikipedia”], ''eos.org'', (27 January 2017) * For the record the Daily Mail banned all its journalists from using Wikipedia as a sole source in 2014 because of its unreliability. ** Spokesman for Mail Newspapers, [https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2017/feb/08/wikipedia-bans-daily-mail-as-unreliable-source-for-website Wikipedia bans Daily Mail as 'unreliable' source], by Jasper Jackson, ''The Guardian'', (8 February 2017) * The fate that befell the Mail happened for one reason, and one reason alone: it's terrible, and by banning it, Wikipedia sends a message that it values its credibility. ** Matthew Hughes, [https://thenextweb.com/insider/2017/02/09/wikipedia-just-banned-contributors-citing-daily-mail-source/ “Wikipedia just banned contributors from citing the Daily Mail as a source”], ''Insider'', (10 February 2017) * Wikipedians this week added greatly to the amusement of the internet after around 40 contributors loftily declared that the Daily Mail was not a reliable source for citations. Much public hilarity ensued – for the reason that The Mail and Wikipedia are really far more alike than either would care to admit. ... Both can resemble a real chamber of horrors. ** Andrew Orlowski, [https://www.theregister.co.uk/2017/02/13/the_mail_vs_wikipedia_more_alike_than_theyd_ever_admit/ The Mail vs Wikipedia: They're more alike than they'd ever admit], ''The Register'', (13 February 2017) * However clumsy the Youth Parliament's approach to Wikipedia may be, it's still an improvement on a government order issued by Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev last August, when he established a working group to study the creation of an all new Russian-engineered Wikipedia clone. ** Kevin Rothrock, [https://globalvoices.org/2017/02/24/russian-government-youth-group-wants-to-make-wikipedia-more-patriotic/ “Russian Government Youth Group Wants to Make Wikipedia More Patriotic], ''Global Voices'', (24 February 2017) * ...for an organisation that calls itself a ‘small non-profit' business and begs users for donations (‘the price of a cup of coffee') to keep it afloat, it enjoys bulging cash reserves. The Foundation's accounts show it has assets of more than $90 million (£73 million), and spent $31 million (£25 million) in salaries last year, up from $26 million (£21 million) the year before. ... Are these amounts not excessive? ** Guy Adams, [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4280502/Anonymous-Wikipedia-activists-promote-warped-agenda.html “The making of a Wiki-Lie: Chilling story of one twisted oddball and a handful of anonymous activists who appointed themselves as censors to promote their own warped agenda on a website that's a byword for inaccuracy”], ''The Daily Mail'', (4 March 2017) * ...this ban has set a dangerous precedent, raising profoundly troubling questions about free speech and censorship in the online era. ...a social media giant whose pages are riddled with inaccuracies, unilaterally deciding, at the request of a handful of people, that a major newspaper is somehow not valid. ** Guy Adams, [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4280502/Anonymous-Wikipedia-activists-promote-warped-agenda.html “The making of a Wiki-Lie: Chilling story of one twisted oddball and a handful of anonymous activists who appointed themselves as censors to promote their own warped agenda on a website that's a byword for inaccuracy”], ''The Daily Mail'', (4 March 2017) * False information is being disseminated at a far greater rate when it seems to have been vetted by a brand name and Wikipedia's branding is global. It would be ideal if a more credible site like Encyclopedia Britannica or a useful news site like Reuters could be granted the “zero-rate” – but those sites [...] do [not] have the same foundational interest in spreading their content without financial gain that Wikipedia has. ** Jillian Sequeira, [https://lawstreetmedia.com/blogs/technology-blog/wikipedia-zero/ The Strange Case of Wikipedia Zero], ''Law Street'', (5 March 2017) * Wikipedia, as it is currently run, is simply and literally out of control, and a potential menace to all kinds of institutions and individuals. This is an organisation that – quite scandalously – polices itself, judges itself, and legitimises itself. It is always right because it decides what is right. You are always wrong because it decides what is wrong. ... And it has power without responsibility or accountability. ... It is high time this arrogant, self-admiring, self-regulating, often bullying organisation be placed under the formal supervision of an independent watchdog. ** [[w:Graham McCann|Graham McCann]], [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4307480/Writers-reveal-Wikipedia-s-insidious-Kafkaesque-control.html “WIKI-LIES (Cont...) It's the self-policing web encyclopaedia that has banned the Mail as a source. But as these deeply disturbing accounts reveal, its pages are littered with inaccuracies - and God help the victims who dare complain”], ''Daily Mail'', (13 March 2017) * I fear we are moving beyond a natural skepticism regarding expert claims to the death of the ideal of expertise itself: a Google-fueled, Wikipedia-based, blog-sodden collapse of any division between professionals and laypeople, teachers and students, knowers and wonderers – in other words, between those with achievement in an area and those with none. ** [[w:Tom Nichols (academic)|Tom Nichols]] in [https://fbkfinanzwirtschaft.wordpress.com/2017/02/18/how-america-lost-faith-in-expertise-and-why-thats-a-giant-problem/ “How America Lost Faith in Expertise – And Why That's a Giant Problem”], ''Foreign Affairs'', (March/April 2017) * Despite being an American-born site, its popularity and utility have expanded around the world since its foundation in 2001. ** Maria Barrios, [http://www.theupcoming.co.uk/2017/05/11/a-world-without-wikipedia/ “A world without Wikipedia?”], ''TheUpComing'', (11 May 2017) * Wikipedia has often been treated by news organizations like the black sheep of the information business. ... But as trust in the media wanes and news organizations struggle to engage with readers, Wikipedia has emerged as a leader in transparency and user growth... ** Rebecca Iannucci, [https://www.poynter.org/2017/what-can-fact-checkers-learn-from-wikipedia-we-asked-the-boss-of-its-nonprofit-owner/465634/ “What can fact-checkers learn from Wikipedia? We asked the boss of its nonprofit owner”], ''Poynter'', (6 July 2017) * The cyber age has tremendous potential, as indicated by Wikipedia. But if it bypasses space and time where there's just this obsession with the present – this neglect of our heritage and history – then our world will change. ** [[w:Anthony Kennedy|Anthony Kennedy]] on 24 July 2017 at the [http://www.salzburgglobal.org/topics/article/justice-anthony-kennedy-speaks-at-salzburg-academy-on-media-and-global-change.html “Salzburg Global Seminar”], Austria, ''Salzburg Academy of Media and Global Change'', (25 July 2017) * For the benefit of Wales as a nation, it is crucial that Wikipedia contains a wealth of knowledge about its history and culture and that the range of articles on the [[w:Welsh Wikipedia|Welsh language Wicipedia]] covers the widest possible range of subjects. ** Pedr ap Llwyd, director of collections and public programmes at [[w:National Library of Wales|National Library of Wales]], in [http://businessnewswales.com/uk-first-national-library-wales-appoints-wikimedian/ “UK First as National Library of Wales Appoints Wikimedian”] by Dan Foulkes, ''BusinessNewsWales'', (8 August 2017) * Unlike some commercial companies, Wikimedia has no incentive to cave into authoritarian demands to self-censor. ** John Lubbock (Wikimedia Foundation), [https://www.opendemocracy.net/digitaliberties/john-lubbock/authoritarian-governments-hate-wikipedia-which-is-exactly-why-you-should-get-involved “Authoritarian governments hate Wikipedia, which is why you should get involved”], ''OpenDemocracy'', (11 August 2017) * The online crowd-sourced encyclopedia is perceived as increasingly trustworthy, [...] with immediate impacts on scientific literacy. ** Thomas Shafee, et al. [http://science.sciencemag.org/content/357/6351/557.2/tab-pdf Academics can help shape Wikipedia], ''Science'', Vol. 357, Issue 6351, pp. 557-558, (11 August 2017) * Wikipedia, like other new, non-commercial information technologies, can be used to open new public spaces for [indigenous] languages, and gradually recover the ground lost to more dominant languages. ... However, the representation of indigenous languages on the platform is very low,... [In [[:w:Latin America|Latin America]] indigenous communities speak 420 different languages.] To date, only four official indigenous-language versions are represented: [[:w:Quechuan languages|Quechua]] ..., [[:w:Nahuatl|Náhuatl]] ..., [[:w:Aymara language|Aymara]] ... and [[:w:Guarani language|Guaraní]]. ** Rodrigo Pérez, [https://rising.globalvoices.org/blog/2017/09/06/the-prospects-for-the-sum-of-all-human-knowledge-in-wikipedia-in-indigenous-languages/ The Prospects for the Sum of All Human Knowledge in Wikipedia in Indigenous Languages], ''Global Voices'' – ''RisingVoices'', (6 September 2017) * As the originator of and the first person to elaborate [[w:Wikipedia:Neutral point of view|Wikipedia's neutrality policy]], and as an [[Agnosticism|agnostic]] who believes [[intelligent design]] to be completely wrong, I just have to say that this article is appallingly biased. ... I'm not here to argue the point, as I completely despair of persuading Wikipedians of the error of their ways. ** [[Larry Sanger]], [[w:Talk:Intelligent_design#My $0.02 on the issue of bias|My $0.02 on the issue of bias]], Wikipedia talk page: [[w:Intelligent design|Intelligent design]], (8 December 2017) * In many ways Wikipedia pioneered the [fake news] phenomenon, and journalists' lazy reliance on using it as a source helped falsities to propagate on a scale never seen before. ** [[w:Andrew Orlowski|Andrew Orlowski]], [https://www.theregister.co.uk/2017/12/12/jimmy_wales_fake_news_keynote/ “Why is Wikipedia man Jimbo Wales keynoting a fake news conference?”], ''The Register'', (12 December 2017) * As we are trying to deal with all this terrorism, [Wikipedia] makes us look like we work with terror groups. ** [[w:Ahmet Arslan (politician)|Ahmet Arslan]], [http://www.hurriyetdailynews.com/wikipedia-should-blame-itself-for-ban-in-turkey-minister-124352 Wikipedia has itself to blame for ban in Turkey: Minister], ''Hürriyet Daily News'', (18 December 2017) ====2018==== * But on Wikipedia, as in the real world, the users with the deepest technical knowledge of firearms are also the most fervent gun owners and the most hostile to gun control. For critics, that’s led to a persistent pro-gun bias on the web’s leading source of neutral information at a time when the gun control debate is more heated than ever. ** {{cite news |title=How gun buffs took over Wikipedia’s AR-15 page; After Parkland, gun control information was strangely hard to find |first=Russell |last=Brandom |date=March 6, 2018 |accessdate=March 9, 2018 |url=https://www.theverge.com/2018/3/6/17086794/ar-15-wikipedia-gun-control-parkland-mass-shooting |work=[[w:The Verge|The Verge]] |publisher=[[w:Vox Media|Vox Media]]}} * Wikipedia is basically a format in which people who hate you can go into your ... , I don't even know what you call these, into the search of your name, and then there I have a profile of sorts, into my profiler page, and poison it. ... "Views on political issues, groups and politicians" – [...] what happened between 2009 and 2017? Well, doesn't matter. ... What was my context for [calling [[Bernie Sanders]] a "radical Marxist who believes in violence"]? They don't even discuss it, the [[w:2017 Congressional baseball shooting|shooting in Alexandria]]. ... [That paragraph] is all mickey mouse stuff. It is cut and paste cherry picking. ... I've written about [progressivism] in great length, but not a word in my "political views". ... Who has a section on "controversial views"? It is as if it is written by ''[[w:Media Matters for America|Media Matters]]''. ... "Levin compared supporters of the [[w:Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act|Affordable Care Act]] to Nazi [[w:Sturmabteilung|brown shirts]]." ... No I didn't! Completely taken out of context! ... If you want to know about me, you should go as far away from the Wikipedia page as possible... ... What they're supposed to do, if they're a responsible organisation, is to get the basic information on me [...] and lock it so that miscreants and malcontents can't abuse and post it. ... Very, very dishonest information in there. ... The book reviews are scores positive, maybe one or two negative by leftists and so forth. You would have no idea reading their comments about my books on Wikipedia. ** [[w:Mark Levin|Mark Levin]] in [https://soundcloud.com/conservativereview/mark-levin-avoid-wikipedia-like-the-plague Mark Levin: Avoid Wikipedia like the plague], Chris Pandolfo, ''Conservative Review'', (19 January 2018) * Why is Wikipedia so good? I'm not sure, but part of it is the internal review process started by Jimmy Wales. Other Wikis fail miserably; I no longer look at [[w:WikiAnswers|WikiAnswers]], because I rarely get good help from it. So a publicly edited encyclopedia isn't obviously going to work, but somehow Wikipedia pulled it off. ** [[w:Richard A. Muller|Richard Muller]] in [https://www.forbes.com/sites/quora/2018/03/01/im-a-college-professor-and-this-is-why-i-encourage-my-students-to-use-wikipedia/#5e204d527289 I'm A College Professor, And This Is Why I Encourage My Students To Use Wikipedia], Tech / #OnCampus, ''Forbes'', (1 March 2018) * [[Facebook]]'s introduction of a new feature that uses [Wikipedia] to combat “[[fake news]]” [...] poses arguably the greatest test in years to the volunteer-run online encyclopedia, constituting a massive threat to the internet's largest and ostensibly most trusted source of free knowledge. ... It also highlights the risks posed by Facebook's efforts to seemingly outsource its problems to the online encyclopedia. Indeed, Wikipedia has struggled to defend its standards in the face of its new role as the internet's “good cop.” As more and more tech giants like Facebook and YouTube make use of its content, a new influx of users has flooded the website [–] not all of them well intentioned. ** Omer Benjakob in [https://www.haaretz.com/us-news/.premium-breitbart-declares-war-on-wikipedia-in-facebook-s-fight-against-fake-news-1.5991915 Breitbart Declares War on Wikipedia as Encyclopedia Gets Drafted Into Facebook's 'Fake News' Battle], ''Haaretz'', (11 April 2018) * I'd argue that Wikipedia's biggest asset is its willingness as a community and website to “delete.” It's that simple. If there's bad information, or info that's just useless, Wikipedia's regulatory system has the ability to discard it. ** Brian A. Feldman in [http://nymag.com/selectall/2018/03/why-wikipedia-works.html Why Wikipedia Works], select/all, ''New York Magazine'' (16 March 2018) * Communities of so-called “amateur experts” linked together by shared interests are the bread and butter of Wikipedia. The online encyclopedia actively encourages editors to congregate in “projects” and “portals” covering hundreds of articles that all fall under a single broad topic. ... So while it's easy to lament the dangers of the Wikipedia gun lobby, it is important to remember that groups with competing worldviews are what fuel the crowdsourced encyclopedia – where the question of what is true is always secondary to the question of what the community of different users can agree on as being true. ** Omer Benjakob in [https://www.haaretz.com/life/how-firearm-enthusiasts-control-what-you-read-about-guns-on-wikipedia-1.5910470 “Gun Enthusiasts Are Waging a War of Attrition on Wikipedia, and It Looks Like They're Winning”], ''Haaretz'', (18 March 2018) * With its nationalist sentiments, factual mistakes, lack of academic references and omitted facts about World War II history, Croatian Wikipedia is not a reliable source, analysts have told BIRN. ** Sven Milekic in [http://www.balkaninsight.com/en/article/how-croatian-wikipedia-made-a-concentration-camp-disappear-03-23-2018 “How Croatian Wikipedia Made a Concentration Camp Disappear”], ''BIRN'', (23 March 2018) * When [people] get their information not from us – but [...] through something like Siri or [...] Alexa – that opportunity to either contribute back as an editor is broken, and that opportunity to contribute, to donate is also broken. ** Lisa Gruwell in [https://techcrunch.com/2018/03/24/are-corporations-that-use-wikipedia-giving-back/ Are corporations that use wikipedia giving back?] by Brian Heater, ''techcrunch.com'', (24 March 2018) * The [[w:Los Angeles Times|Los Angeles Times]], the [[w:Wall Street Journal|Wall Street Journal]], and the [[w:The New Yorker|New Yorker]] reported incorrectly last month that [[w:Mike Pompeo|Pompeo]] was an Army officer who served in the [[w:Gulf War|1991 Gulf War]]. ... The situation shows how much major media outlets have come to rely on Wikipedia, a crowd-sourced encyclopedia run by the [[w:Wikimedia Foundation|Wikimedia Foundation]], a non-profit that employs less than 300 people. ** Heather Timmons & David Yanofsky in [https://qz.com/1258418/mike-pompeos-gulf-war-service-lie-started-on-wikipedia/ “A lie about Mike Pompeo's Gulf War service started with an anonymous Wikipedia edit”], ''Quartz'', (21 April 2018) * On January 2, 2018, MBH participant published statistics on peak views of [[Russian]] Wikipedia articles in 2017. :Each article of the free encyclopedia is visited almost evenly from day to day. Smooth fluctuations are associated with the total traffic to Wikipedia, as well as various global cycles, for example, calendar - annual, weekly and others. :* [https://ru.wikinews.org/wiki/Пики_Русской_Википедии_в_2017_году Пики Русской Википедии в 2017 году], (4 января 2018 года) * ... Wikipedia is just ''one'' type of online community, which appeals to a fairly narrow (geeky, combative male) demographic. And, importantly, it ''doesn't'' appeal to many other demographics. ... if, as inevitably happens in such a place, some people get impatient and upset at [the] unfair treatment, they must tolerate the passive-aggressive condescension of the basement-dwellers who inform them, apparently with no awareness of the ironies involved, that courtesy is an absolute requirement. ** [[Larry Sanger]] in [https://thenextweb.com/contributors/2018/04/21/wikipedia-co-founders-8000-word-essay-build-better-wikipedia/ “Wikipedia co-founder's 8,000-word essay on how to build a better Wikipedia”], ''TNW'', (23 April 2018) * In this era where we've seen the rise of these [[fake news]] websites and so forth, Wikipedia has had almost no problems with this at all. Simply because our community is quite – you know, it's their hobby to debate about the quality of sources, and it's very difficult to fool the Wikipedia community with this. ** [[Jimmy Wales]] in [http://kacu.org/post/wikipedia-founder-says-internet-users-are-adrift-fake-news-era Wikipedia Founder Says Internet Users Are Adrift In The 'Fake News' Era], by [[w:Ari Shapiro|Ari Shapiro]], ''kacu.org'', (28 April 2018) * [Wikipedia's Arbitration Committee], which typically decides matters of user behavior, not content, doesn't lean left or right. Occasionally you could say there are people who are stricter or more lenient in terms of the spirit of the law or letter of the law. ** [[w:Ira Brad Matetsky|Ira Matetsky]], quoted and paraphrased in [https://news.law.fordham.edu/blog/2018/05/07/the-15-people-who-keep-wikipedias-editors-from-killing-each-other/ “The 15 People Who Keep Wikipedia's Editors from Killing Each Other”], ''Fordham Law News'', (7 May 2018) * ... independent bloggers Markus Fiedler and Dirk Pohlmann have found [that Wikipedia's] 'freely editable' model definitely doesn't mean an absence of censorship and biased political activism. ...the online encyclopedia is home to a major edit war where corrections are constantly added, information removed, and value judgements made to fit a specific narrative. ... [An inner circle of manipulators] are referees and players combined into one. ** Fiedler and Pohlmann quoted in [https://sputniknews.com/analysis/201806011065003782-investigation-finds-roots-of-wikipedia-bias/ “Like Foxes Guarding the Henhouse: How Public Opinion is Manipulated on Wikipedia”], ''sputniknews.com'', (1 June 2018) * Deeply inappropriate for the European Commission to be lobbying publicly *and* misleading the public in this way. ... the Wikipedia community is not so narrow minded as to let the rest of the Internet suffer just because we are big enough that they try to throw us a bone. Justice matters. ** [[Jimmy Wales]] as quoted in [https://techcrunch.com/2018/07/04/wikipedia-goes-dark-in-spanish-italian-ahead-of-key-eu-vote-on-copyright/ “Wikipedia goes dark in Spanish, Italian ahead of key EU vote on copyright”] by Natasha Lomas, ''techcrunch.com'', (4 July 2018) * ...Wikipedia has forced academics to re-examine how they validate sources. We should have been doing that all along. We should have been approaching an ''Encyclopaedia Britannica'' article with a certain level of distrust and questioning: What are the biases of people writing this? What are they leaving out? What communities are not included in this conversation? ** Royce Kimmons as quoted by Megan Zahneis in [https://www.chronicle.com/article/Some-Colleges-Cautiously/243968 “Some Colleges Cautiously Embrace Wikipedia”], ''The Chronicle of Higher Education'', (19 July 2018) * [Wikipedia's] worst failing, much like [[w:Today (BBC Radio 4)|BBC Radio 4's Today]] programme, is to portray subjects that are racked with unresolved controversy as if they were settled. ... and while I was inside it, it was a tiny, infuriating nightmare of [[totalitarianism]]. One day soon, I suspect this particular dream is all too likely to come true in the solid world. ** [[w:Peter Hitchens|Peter Hitchens]] in [https://www.spectator.co.uk/2018/08/war-of-words-my-battle-to-correct-wikipedia/ War of words: my battle to correct Wikipedia], ''The Spectator'', (18 August 2018) * [YouTube,] a megacorporation with billions of dollars and thousands of brilliant employees is relying on a volunteer-run platform anyone can edit to fact-check information? It is odd. But it's also a validation of Wikipedia's mission and a reminder of its importance. ** [[w:John Naughton|John Naughton]] in [https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/sep/02/in-hysterical-world-wikipedia-ray-of-light-truth “In a hysterical world, Wikipedia is a ray of light – and that's the truth”], ''The Guardian'', (2 September 2018) * [Wikipedia] is therefore a reflection of the world's biases more than it is a cause of them. ... If journalists, book publishers, scientific researchers, curators, academics, grant-makers and prize-awarding committees don't recognize the work of women, Wikipedia's editors have little foundation on which to build. ... We may not be able to change how society values women, but we can change how women are seen, and ensure that they are seen to begin with. ** [[w:Katherine Maher|Katherine Maher]] in [https://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-maher-wikipedia-gender-bias-20181018-story.html Wikipedia mirrors the world's gender biases, it doesn't cause them], ''Los Angeles Times'', (18 October 2018) * ... debilitating factors – such as excessive bickering and poorly worded arguments – have led to about one-third of RfCs [i.e. Request for Comment deliberation processes] going unresolved. ... the experience of participants and the length of a discussion are strongly predictive of the timely closure of an RfC. ** Rob Matheson paraphrasing Amy X. Zhang and co-authors in [http://news.mit.edu/2018/wikipedia-disputes-unresolved-study-1106 “Why some Wikipedia disputes go unresolved”], ''MIT News Office'', (6 November 2018) * Medical images and articles found on Wikipedia may help patients better understand their radiology reports, ... And despite both internal and external metrics concluding Wikipedia's health information to be variable in quality, but continually improving, the authors believe the website's detailed information could pair well with the lay-definitions housed within the PORTER [i.e. Patient-Oriented Radiology Reporter] glossary. ** Matt O'Connor paraphrasing T. Martin-Carreras and C. E. Kahn Jr. in [https://www.healthimaging.com/topics/imaging-informatics/wikipedia-improve-radiology-resources-patients Wikipedia articles, images may improve radiology resources for patients], ''HealthImaging'', (7 November 2018) * The magnitude of [Wikipedia's visitor] numbers piqued the interest of Matthew Kock, website manager of the prestigious British Museum in London. "I looked at how many [[w:Rosetta Stone|Rosetta Stone]] page views there were on Wikipedia... That is perhaps our iconic object, and five times as many people go to the Wikipedia article [...] as to ours." This realization inspired him to propose a novel idea to British Museum administrators – invite a Wikipedia contributor into the institution as the first ever "Wikipedian in Residence" to serve as a liaison within the Museum. Despite his fears about proposing collaboration with unknown and uncredentialled Wikipedia volunteers, [...] he met with enthusiastic interest from numerous departments at the museum. ** [[w:Andrew Lih|Andrew Lih]] in “Leveraging Wikipedia: Connecting Communities of Knowledge”, ''American Library Association'', (29 November 2018), p. 9 ====2019==== * Science Wikipedia pages aren't just for non-experts. Physicists – researchers, professors, and students – use Wikipedia daily. When I need the transition temperature for a Bose-Einstein condensate (prefactor and all), or when I want to learn about the details of an unfamiliar quantum algorithm, Wikipedia is my first stop. ... Despite [this], it is rare for professional physicists to contribute, in part because there are few, if any, professional incentives to do so. ... only a small fraction [of them] have edited even a single Wikipedia page. ** Kaden Hazzard in [https://blogs.plos.org/everyone/2019/01/04/onetopicpages/ “Peer-reviewed physics for Wikipedia: PLOS ONE Topic Pages”], ''Plos Blogs'', (4 January 2019) * Many professors are ditching the traditional writing assignment and instead asking students to expand or create a Wikipedia article on the topic. ** Stephen Harrison in [https://www.afr.com/news/economy/how-wikipedia-became-the-responsible-adult-of-the-internet-20190115-h1a2ub “How Wikipedia became the responsible adult of the internet”], ''Financial Review'', (15 January 2019) *Like other social media platforms, Wikipedia has evolved into an echo chamber where the user is presented with only one type of content instead of being shown a balanced narrative. This disinformation is powerful since the articles are written in an academic style and users do not see other sources that disagree with the article.... Some editors of Wikipedia are failed academics with demonic energy who wish to conquer anonymously what they were unable to do in their normal careers. And spending much of their working life editing Wikipedia articles and by the use of multiple anonymous handles they have obtained administrative status which entitles them to block opposing views. The anonymous persona of the editors and the low stakes have made Wikipedia politics much more vicious than real politics. **Subhash Kak, [https://medium.com/@subhashkak1/wikipedia-or-trashpedia-4198e2c78e59 “Wikipedia or Trashpedia?”], ''Medium.com'', (April 9, 2019) * Wikipedia is not going anywhere. It's definitely part of everyone's life. But the question of accuracy is one of the most important aspects of it. ... Our purpose here is not to evaluate whether Wikipedia is good or bad. ... It's not so much about warning people about what Wikipedia is. It's about showing what it is. ... Librarians are interested in trying to broaden our community's education with information in general, be it digital or otherwise. ** Lorie Kloda quoted in [https://montrealgazette.com/opinion/columnists/brownstein-wikipedia-to-get-respect-at-concordia-university Brownstein: Wikipedia to get respect at Concordia University] by Bill Brownstein, ''Montreal Gazette'', (16 January 2019) * Wikipedia's extreme form of democracy sounds even stranger in 2019 than it must have sounded in 2001. ** Caille Millner in [https://www.sfchronicle.com/entertainment/article/Wikipedia-hasn-t-lost-sight-of-its-mission-18-13543511.php “Wikipedia hasn't lost sight of its mission 18 years after launch”], ''San Francisco Chronicle'', (18 January 2019) * Wikipedia has become an ideological battleground in recent years, with zealots from both left and right using it to mock and smear their enemies. ** Jasper Hamill in [https://metro.co.uk/2019/01/22/sick-vandals-target-martin-luther-king-wikipedia-page-mlk-day-8372536/ “Sick vandals mark Martin Luther King Day with pornographic attack on Wikipedia page celebrating the great man”], ''Metro'', (22 January 2019) * Supporting Wikipedia is [...] a shrewd business decision that will likely benefit Google for years to come. ** Louise Matsakis in [https://www.wired.com/story/google-wikipedia-machine-learning-glow-languages/ “Google Gives Wikimedia Millions—Plus Machine Learning Tools”], ''Wired: Business'', (22 January 2019) * Wikipedians in residence (WIR) have been around since at least 2010, with the first one hired by the British Museum in the U.K. Since then, other museums as well as universities, archives, libraries, art galleries and health organizations, have followed suit with a total of 165 WIRs hired worldwide. According to the Wikimedia Foundation [...], right now 65 WIRs are actively working — and registered — with the foundation. ** Sharon Aschaiek in [https://www.universityaffairs.ca/news/news-article/advancing-academia-with-wikipedia/ “Advancing academia with Wikipedia”], ''University Affairs'', (26 February 2019) * Indeed, Fram seemed like the perfect test case for a new kind of enforcement from the foundation – a prolific user whose bad behavior warranted a severe sanction short of a lifetime ban. But as is the case in so many enforcement decisions on social platforms, the ban created more questions than it answered. ** Joseph Bernstein in [https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/josephbernstein/wikipedia-ban-editor-culture-war “The Culture War Has Finally Come For Wikipedia”], ''BuzzFeedNews'', (27 June 2019) * The real cause of the Fram flare-up wasn't the sudden overreach by the foundation, but the community's own laissez-faire attitude about toxic users. ... The community is currently blaming the foundation for their own mess, in my opinion, which was caused by our abject failure to develop procedures to enforce civility without Foundation intervention. ** User:BU Rob13, as quoted by Joseph Bernstein in [https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/josephbernstein/wikipedia-ban-editor-culture-war “The Culture War Has Finally Come For Wikipedia”], ''BuzzFeedNews'', (27 June 2019) * It’s been tradition that our communities are by and large self-governing, except for issues around child protection, threats of suicide, threats of violence, and legal matters. ** A ''veteran Wikipedia editor'' according to [https://slate.com/technology/2019/07/wikipedia-fram-banning-editor-controversy.html “Wikipedia’s “Constitutional Crisis” Pits Community Against Foundation”] in ''[[Slate Magazine]]'', (July 02, 2019) * The Commissioner sees the ongoing blocking of access to Wikipedia as forming part of a broader pattern of undue restrictions on the right to receive and impart information on the internet, and more generally as an illustration of the disproportionately heavy-handed approach currently prevailing in Turkey to any content or information the Turkish authorities consider offensive. ... Commissioner Mijatovic concludes that the way Turkish administrative authorities and courts routinely have recourse to internet blocking is unacceptable in a democratic society and not compatible with Article 10 of the European Convention on Human Rights which protects freedom of expression. ... The systemic nature of the problem requires far-reaching measures, including the complete overhaul of the relevant Turkish legislation. ** [[w:Dunja Mijatovic|Dunja Mijatovic]], in a submission to the [[w:European Court of Human Rights|European Court of Human Rights]], as quoted in [https://www.turkishminute.com/2019/11/26/human-rights-commissioner-says-turkeys-blocking-of-wikipedia-a-violation-of-freedom-of-expression/ “Human rights commissioner says Turkey's blocking of Wikipedia a violation of freedom of expression”], ''Turkish Minute'', (26 November 2019) === 2020s=== ====2020==== [[File:Elon Musk Royal Society.jpg|thumb|[[History]] is [[written]] by the [[victor]], except on wikipedia]] * [Wikipedia comprises millions of articles that are in constant need of edits to reflect new information. That can involve article expansions, major rewrites, or more routine modifications such as updating numbers, dates, names, and locations. Currently, humans across the globe volunteer their time to make these edits.] It would be beneficial to automatically modify exact portions of the articles, with little to no human intervention. ** Darsh Shah, as quoted by Rob Matheson in [http://news.mit.edu/2020/automated-rewrite-wikipedia-articles-0212 “Automated system can rewrite outdated sentences in Wikipedia articles”], ''MIT News Office'', (12 February 2020) * [I have not seen a single practical use-case to convince me to integrate cryptocurrencies or blockchain into the platform. To reward content creators and editors with digital assets] is a really bad idea. ... By integrating cryptocurrencies, Wikipedia would be taking a step back by making it easier for people and companies to pay for the content they want on the platform. Creating a mechanism where you effectively authenticate that type of behavior ... isn't going to help with the quality of Wikipedia at all. ... To say to them, you're going to have to pay or put money at risk in order to edit Wikipedia is completely insane. <!--[If the platform made people place deposits, they could exclude experts and enthusiasts who contribute out of interest in their chosen topic. In their place would be people effectively competing against one another to create and edit content, as well as flag inaccurate entries, for monetary gain. I have no problem with the platform accepting donations in different forms of cryptocurrency however. Wikipedia is a charity and has accepted donations in [https://coinrocco.com/en/currencies/bitcoin bitcoin (BTC)] since 2014.]--> ** [[Jimmy Wales]] on 21 February 2020 while speaking at the CoinGeek Conference in London, as quoted in [https://coinrocco.com/en/blog/wikipedia-co-founder-critiques-crypto-integration-insights-from-jimmy-wales “Wikipedia Co-Founder Says Crypto Integration Would Be ‘Completely Insane'”], ''coinrocco.com'', (21 February 2020) *If it is a mistake to keep comparing Wikipedia to Britannica, it is another kind of category error to judge Wikipedia against its peers in the internet's top 10. '''Wikipedia ought to serve as a model for many forms of social endeavor online, but its lessons do not translate readily into the commercial sphere.''' It is a noncommercial enterprise, with no investors or shareholders to appease, no financial imperative to grow or die, and no standing to maintain in the arms race to amass data and attain AI supremacy at all costs. At Jimmy Wales' wedding, one of the maids of honor toasted him as the sole internet mogul who wasn't a billionaire. ** Richard Cooke, [https://www.wired.com/story/wikipedia-online-encyclopedia-best-place-internet/ “Wikipedia Is the Last Best Place on the Internet, By Richard Cooke”], ''Wired'', (17 Feb 2020) *The site has helped its fellow tech behemoths, though, especially with the march of [[AI]]. Wikipedia's liberal content licenses and vast information hoard have allowed developers to train neural networks much more quickly, cheaply, and widely than proprietary data sets ever could have. When you ask Apple's Siri or Amazon's Alexa a question, Wikipedia helps provide the answer. When you Google a famous person or place, Wikipedia often informs the “knowledge panel” that appears alongside your search results.<BR>These tools were made possible by a project called Wikidata, the next ambitious step toward realizing the age-old dream of creating a “World Brain.” ... As platforms like Google and Alexa work to provide instant answers to random questions, Wikidata will be one of the key architectures that link the world's information together... ** Richard Cooke, [https://www.wired.com/story/wikipedia-online-encyclopedia-best-place-internet/ “Wikipedia Is the Last Best Place on the Internet”], ''Wired'', (17 Feb 2020) *Why do Wikipedians perform these millions of hours of labor, some expended on a giant straw goat, without pay? Because they don't experience them as labor. “It's a misconception people work for free,” Wales told the site Hacker Noon in 2018. “They have fun for free.” A 2011 survey of more than 5,000 Wikipedia contributors listed “It's fun” as one of the primary reasons they edited the site. ** Richard Cooke, [https://www.wired.com/story/wikipedia-online-encyclopedia-best-place-internet/ “Wikipedia Is the Last Best Place on the Internet”], by Richard Cooke, ''Wired'', (17 Feb 2020) * I can't tell you what the cause of the bias on Wikipedia is, I can only tell you that it's really obvious now. It used to be quite obvious, like even 10 years ago it was already pretty obvious 10 years ago. Now it's just embarrassing. <!---ca 30---> ** Larry Sanger., as interviewed by Nupur J. Sharma, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwcPEACzUfQ&feature=youtu.be “Larry Sanger, founder of Wikipedia, talks to Nupur Sharma”], (Sep 2, 2020) * There is a massive irony in the fact that Wikipedia is so extremely biased: it was started by someone who cares unusually deeply about neutrality (me), who developed and defended its neutrality policy at great length.<br> Man makes plans, and God laughs. ** Larry Sanger, [https://twitter.com/lsanger/status/1301619256778526721 Tweet] on (Sep 3, 2020) ==== 2021 ==== {{Anchor|social media}} * Making [[social media]] liable would mean [[Twitter]], [[Facebook]], even Wikipedia and [[Yelp]] couldn't exist as we know them ** [[Scott Pelley]] on [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/section-230-internet-60-minutes-2021-01-03/ “Why victims of internet lies want Section 230 repealed”], ''CBS'', (January 3, 2020) * Even the common perception that Wikipedia provides a level playing field on which humanity can freely share all its knowledge is a pretense. The reality is that while all such digital structures behave like free and unrestricted systems, they are in fact controlled by gamification algorithms at the hands of those who own and operate them. Very few people grasp the profound deception of the system. ** [[Malhotra, R.]], “Artificial intelligence and the future of power: 5 battlegrounds”, New Delhi:Rupa, 2021. *[the infiltration had threatened the] very foundations of Wikipedia. *This case is unprecedented in scope *[the foundation had been investigating the infiltration of Chinese-language Wikipedia for nearly a year. But this summer] credible threats [to volunteers' safety had] led us to prioritise rapid response ** [[Maggie Dennis]], '''[https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-58559412 Wikipedia blames pro-China infiltration for bans]''', (16 September 2021) ==== 2022 ==== [[File:2015-03-27._%D0%9F%D0%BE%D0%B5%D0%B7%D0%B4%D0%BA%D0%B0_%D0%BF%D0%BE_%D0%B1%D0%BE%D0%BC%D0%B1%D0%BE%D1%83%D0%B1%D0%B5%D0%B6%D0%B8%D1%89%D0%B0%D0%BC_088.jpg|thumb|Editing Wikipedia from a [[w:Bomb shelter|bomb shelter]] is [[difficult]]. To be [[honest]], covering the [[invasion]] is not our main [[priority]] now. People are mainly trying to put in place their [[w:PlanB|plan B]], either by [[evacuating]] to a [[safer]] place, by joining the [[army]], or by joining [[volunteer]] organizations. ~ Mykola Kozlenko]] * Like many other knowledge spaces, Wikipedia has a problem: it lacks visual representation, especially when it comes to notable figures who belong to the global majority, including Black, Indigenous, and people of color. To change that, we are starting a new initiative in collaboration with Behance and AfroCROWD: Discover #WikiUnseen ** Wikimedia Foundation, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAJcXj8fLXkWiki “Unseen |See their faces. Know their stories”], (Feb 10, 2022) * Once [[w:news media|outlets]] like the ''[[w:HuffPost|Huffington Post]]'', ''[[w:The Daily Beast|Daily Beast]]'', ''[[w:The Daily Beast|Vox]]'' etcetera publish an article making baseless claims about a person, then the Wikipedia editors update that person's page to paint them in a false light and save the salacious [[wikt:hit piece|hit piece]]s as the source in the footnotes cementing the allegations in the target's Wikipedia page. ** [[w:Mark Dice|Mark Dice]] in [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqEbZGIimHA&list=TLPQMTQwMjIwMjJY8WSHG6XcQg “Wikipedia: The Internet's Largest Source of Misinformation”], ''YouTube'', (11 February 2022) * “[[Writing]] on Wikipedia always comes with a lot of [[responsibility]],” Breslow said in an email. “Wikipedia is the major collective record of [[humanity]]’s [[knowledge]], and its articles are read by a staggering number of [[readers]]. They influence what people [[believe]] and how they [[live]] their lives, so it’s essential we make them as [[reliable]], [[neutral]], and [[comprehensive]] as possible.” ** Samuel Breslow as quoted by Stephen Harrison, [https://slate.com/technology/2022/03/wikipedia-russian-invasion-of-ukraine-edits-kyiv-kiev.html “How the Russian Invasion of Ukraine Is Playing Out on English, Ukrainian, and Russian Wikipedia”], ''Slate'', (March 01, 2022) * “Editing Wikipedia from a [[w:Bomb shelter|bomb shelter]] is [[difficult]],” said Mykola Kozlenko, the vice president of the Wikimedia [[Ukraine]] user group. “To be [[honest]], covering the [[invasion]] is not our main [[priority]] now. People are mainly trying to put in place their [[w:PlanB|plan B]], either by [[evacuating]] to a [[safer]] place, by joining the [[army]], or by joining [[volunteer]] organizations.” ** Mykola Kozlenko as quoted by Stephen Harrison, [https://slate.com/technology/2022/03/wikipedia-russian-invasion-of-ukraine-edits-kyiv-kiev.html “How the Russian Invasion of Ukraine Is Playing Out on English, Ukrainian, and Russian Wikipedia”], ''Slate'', (March 01, 2022) ==== 2023 ==== * Having that protection there is what has allowed Wikipedia to be written by thousands of volunteer editors around the world over the last 22 years. So without the protections of [[w:Section 230|Section 230]], that becomes a much more difficult scenario for us. ** Leighanna Mixter in [https://gizmodo.com/wikipedia-section-230-scotus-encyclopedia-1850085090 “Wikipedia Worries Its Volunteer Editors Could Be Liable to Lawsuits Without Section 230”], by Kyle Barr, ''Gizmodo'' * The [[U.S. Supreme Court]] has declined to hear a bid by the operator of the popular Wikipedia [[internet]] [[encyclopedia]] to resurrect its [[lawsuit]] against the [[National Security Agency]] challenging mass [[online]] [[surveillance]]. ** [[w:Slashdot|Slashdot]], [https://news.slashdot.org/story/23/02/22/1542248/supreme-court-snubs-wikipedia-bid-to-challenge-nsa-surveillance "Supreme Court Snubs Wikipedia Bid To Challenge NSA Surveillance"], (February 22, 2023) * Every day, millions of people gather on Wikipedia to fight over the facts displayed. Wikipedia doesn’t just preserve the some 22.14 GB worth of text displayed on its pages, it’s also preserving years of edits and arguments about how those words were written. Every page on the site is argued over, fussed about, and tweaked constantly. All those discussions are here, and can be pored over. <br> Running an ad-free website where millions of people gather every day to discuss facts and update scores of pages is a monumental task. It’s incredible that Wikipedia doesn’t often go down and has few technical problems. Most of the time, Wikipedia works without issue. The same is not true for X, formerly Twitter. <br> And where does the money go? The Wikimedia Foundation is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that publishes its financial records that are routinely audited by third parties. Every year, it publishes portions of this financial audit for the public. According to its 2022 report, it received about $160 million in donations. It spent $88 million of this on salaries and wages for its employees, $2.7 million on internet hosting, and about $1.2 million on travel. It’s very easy to see these reports with a cursory search. A community note on Musk’s own post says as much. ** Matthew Gault, [https://www.vice.com/en/article/elon-musk-still-doesnt-understand-how-wikipedia-works/ “Elon Musk Still Doesn’t Understand How Wikipedia Works”], ''Vice'', (October 23, 2023) * The civic tech expert [[w:Ed Saperia|Ed Saperia]] used as his parable the difference between Wikipedia and [[Facebook]]. Jimmy Wales’s big experiment, which started life in 1999 as Nupedia, has created an open-source collection of human knowledge in hundreds of languages that is essentially trustworthy. If a mistake creeps in through the gates of human generosity, it gets corrected in the same way. If malicious actors try to slander their foes, the punishment is not cancellation, but more like lifelong ridicule, which is proportionate, given how long a slanderous person is likely to carry on doing ridiculous things. In other words, it is the best of humanity, all natural desire to help each other with cross-pollinated knowledge concentrated in one place. <br> Facebook, for brevity, takes the same raw material – all the people in the world – and finds the worst in it. Facebook manages to winkle out things we didn’t know we were capable of – levels of vitriol, gullibility and hysteria – in between a scare ad for dark politics and a mesmerising video of five types of mince baked around a kilo of cheese. (I am paraphrasing a bit; I don’t think civic tech gurus dwell much on the cheese.) ** Zoe Williams, [https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/oct/23/why-is-elon-musk-attacking-wikipedia-because-its-very-existence-offends-him “Why is Elon Musk attacking Wikipedia? Because its very existence offends him”], ''The Guardian'', (Oct 23, 2023) ===== “Wikipedia’s Moment of Truth” (Published July 18, 2023, updated July 21, 2023) ===== <small> Jon Gertner, [https://www.nytimes.com/2023/07/18/magazine/wikipedia-ai-chatgpt.html “Wikipedia’s Moment of Truth”], ''The New York Times'', (Published July 18, 2023, updated July 21, 2023) </small> [[File:Le_avventure_di_Pinocchio-pag020.jpg|thumb|Without Wikipedia, generative A.I. wouldn’t exist. ~ Nicholas Vincent]] [[File:Searchlights_pierce_the_night_sky_during_an_air-raid_practice_on_Gibraltar,_20_November_1942._GM1852.jpg|thumb|For a popular article that might have thousands of contributors, “Wikipedia is literally the most accurate form of information ever created by humans,” [[w:Amy S. Bruckman|Amy Bruckman]], a professor at the [[w:Georgia Institute of Technology|Georgia Institute of Technology]], told me. But Wikipedia’s short articles can sometimes be hit or miss. “They could be total garbage,” says Bruckman, who is the author of the recent book “Should You Believe Wikipedia?”]] [[File:USMC-100629-M-3215R-002.jpg|thumb|Jesse Dodge, a computer scientist at the [[w:Allen Institute for AI|Allen Institute for AI]] in [[Seattle]], told me that Wikipedia might now make up between 3 and 5 percent of the scraped data an L.L.M. uses for its training. “Wikipedia going forward will forever be super valuable,” Dodge points out, “because it’s one of the largest well-curated data sets out there.” There is generally a link, he adds, between the quality of data a model trains on and the accuracy and coherence of its responses.]] [[File:Webcomic_xkcd_-_Wikipedian_protester.png|thumb|Reagle told me that the recent debates over A.I. recall for him the early days of Wikipedia, when its quality was unflatteringly compared to that of other encyclopedias. “It served as a proxy in this larger culture war about information and knowledge and quality and authority and legitimacy. So I take a sort of similar model to thinking about ChatGPT, which is going to improve. Just like Wikipedia is not perfect, it’s not perfect — it’s never going to be perfect — but what is the relative value given the other information that’s out there?”]] [[File:Cc.logo.circle.svg|thumb|While Wikipedia’s licensing policy lets anyone tap its knowledge and text — to “reuse and remix” it however they might like — it does have several conditions. These include the requirements that users must “share alike,” meaning any information they do something with must subsequently be made readily available, and that users must give credit and attribution to Wikipedia contributors. Mixing Wikipedia’s corpus into a chatbot model that gives answers to queries without explaining the sourcing may thus violate Wikipedia’s terms of use, two people in the open-source software community told me.]] * The new [[A.I.]] [[w:Chatbot|chatbots]] have typically swallowed Wikipedia’s corpus, too. Embedded deep within their responses to queries is Wikipedia [[data]] and Wikipedia [[text]], [[knowledge]] that has been compiled over years of [[painstaking]] [[work]] by [[human]] contributors. While estimates of its influence can vary, Wikipedia is probably the most important single source in the training of A.I. models. “Without Wikipedia, generative A.I. wouldn’t exist,” says Nicholas Vincent, who will be joining the faculty of [[w:Simon Fraser University|Simon Fraser University]] in [[British Columbia]] this month and who has studied how Wikipedia helps support Google searches and other information businesses. <br> Yet as bots like [[w:ChatGPT|ChatGPT]] become increasingly popular and sophisticated, Vincent and some of his colleagues wonder what will happen if Wikipedia, out-flanked by A.I. that has cannibalized it, suffers from disuse and dereliction. In such a future, a “Death of Wikipedia” outcome is perhaps not so far-fetched. A computer intelligence — it might not need to be as good as Wikipedia, merely good enough — is plugged into the web and seizes the opportunity to summarize source materials and news articles instantly, the way humans now do with argument and deliberation. * How Wikipedia uses bots and how bots use Wikipedia are extremely different, however. For years it has been clear that fledgling A.I. systems were being trained on the site’s articles, as part of the process whereby engineers “scrape” the web to create enormous data sets for that purpose. In the early days of these models, about a decade ago, Wikipedia represented a large percentage of the scraped data used to train machines. The encyclopedia was crucial not only because it’s free and accessible, but also because it contains a mother lode of facts and so much of its material is consistently formatted. <br> In more recent years, as so-called Large Language Models, or L.L.M.s, increased in size and functionality — these are the models that power chatbots like ChatGPT and Google’s Bard — they began to take in far larger amounts of information. In some cases, their meals added up to well over a trillion words. The sources included not just Wikipedia but also Google’s patent database, government documents, Reddit’s Q. and A. corpus, books from online libraries and vast numbers of news articles on the web. But while Wikipedia’s contribution in terms of overall volume is shrinking — and even as tech companies have stopped disclosing what data sets go into their A.I. models — it remains one of the largest single sources for L.L.M.s. Jesse Dodge, a computer scientist at the [[w:Allen Institute for AI|Allen Institute for AI]] in [[Seattle]], told me that Wikipedia might now make up between 3 and 5 percent of the scraped data an L.L.M. uses for its training. “Wikipedia going forward will forever be super valuable,” Dodge points out, “because it’s one of the largest well-curated data sets out there.” There is generally a link, he adds, between the quality of data a model trains on and the accuracy and coherence of its responses. * Wikipedia’s fundamental goal is to spread knowledge as broadly and freely as possible, by whatever means. About 10 years ago, when site administrators focused on how Google was using Wikipedia, they were in a situation that presaged the advent of A.I. chatbots. Google’s search engine was able, at the top of its query results, to present Wikipedians’ work to users all over the world, giving the encyclopedia far greater reach than before — an apparent virtue. In 2017, three academic computer scientists, Connor McMahon, Isaac Johnson and Brent Hecht, conducted an experiment that tested how random users would react if just part of the contributions made to Google’s search results by Wikipedia were removed. The academics perceived an “extensive interdependence”: Wikipedia makes Google a “significantly better” search engine for many queries, and Wikipedia, in turn, gets most of its traffic from Google. * [[w:Aaron Halfaker|Aaron Halfaker]], who led the machine-learning research team at the Wikimedia Foundation for several years (and who now works for [[Microsoft]]), told me that search-engine summaries at least offer users links and [[citations]] and a way to click back to Wikipedia. The responses from large language models can resemble an information smoothie that goes down easy but contains mysterious ingredients. “The ability to generate an answer has fundamentally shifted,” he says, noting that in a ChatGPT answer there is “literally no citation, and no grounding in the literature as to where that information came from.” He contrasts it with the Google or Bing search engines: “This is different. This is way more powerful than what we had before.” * Wikipedia’s most devoted supporters will readily acknowledge that it has plenty of flaws. The Wikimedia Foundation estimates that its English-language site has about 40,000 active editors — meaning they make at least five edits a month to the encyclopedia. According to recent data from the Wikimedia Foundation, about 80 percent of that cohort is male, and about 75 percent of those from the United States are white, which has led to some gender and racial gaps in Wikipedia’s coverage. And lingering doubts about reliability remain. For a popular article that might have thousands of contributors, “Wikipedia is literally the most accurate form of information ever created by humans,” [[w:Amy S. Bruckman|Amy Bruckman]], a professor at the [[w:Georgia Institute of Technology|Georgia Institute of Technology]], told me. But Wikipedia’s short articles can sometimes be hit or miss. “They could be total garbage,” says Bruckman, who is the author of the recent book “Should You Believe Wikipedia?” * Within the Wikipedia community, there is a cautious sense of hope that A.I., if managed right, will help the organization improve rather than crash. Selena Deckelmann, the chief tech officer, expresses that perspective most optimistically. “What we’ve proven over 22 years now is: We have a volunteer model that is sustainable,” she told me. “I would say there are some threats to it. Is it an insurmountable threat? I don’t think so.” The longtime Wikipedia editor who wrote “Death of Wikipedia” told me that he feels there is a case to be made for a good outcome in the coming years, even if the longer term seems far less certain. The Wikimedia plug-in is the first significant move toward protecting its future. Projects are also in the works to use recent advances in A.I. internally. Albon says that he and his colleagues are in the process of adapting A.I. models that are “off the shelf” — essentially models that have been made available by researchers for anyone to freely customize — so that Wikipedia’s editors can use them for their work. One focus is to have A.I. models aid new volunteers, say, with step-by-step chatbot instructions as they begin working on new articles, a process that involves many rules and protocols and often alienates Wikipedia’s newcomers. <br> Leila Zia, the head of research at the Wikimedia Foundation, told me that her team was likewise working on tools that could help the encyclopedia by predicting, for example, whether a new article or edit would be overruled. Or, she said, perhaps a contributor “doesn’t know how to use citations” — in that case, another tool would indicate that. I asked whether it could help Wikipedia entries maintain a neutral point of view as they were writing. “Absolutely,” she says. * Three years ago, in anticipation of Wikipedia’s 20th anniversary, [[w:Joseph M. Reagle Jr.|Joseph Reagle]], a professor at [[w:Northeastern University|Northeastern University]], wrote a historical essay exploring how the death of the site had been predicted again and again. Wikipedia has nevertheless found ways to adapt and endure. Reagle told me that the recent debates over A.I. recall for him the early days of Wikipedia, when its quality was unflatteringly compared to that of other encyclopedias. “It served as a proxy in this larger culture war about information and knowledge and quality and authority and legitimacy. So I take a sort of similar model to thinking about ChatGPT, which is going to improve. Just like Wikipedia is not perfect, it’s not perfect — it’s never going to be perfect — but what is the relative value given the other information that’s out there?” * While Wikipedia’s licensing policy lets anyone tap its knowledge and text — to “reuse and remix” it however they might like — it does have several conditions. These include the requirements that users must “share alike,” meaning any information they do something with must subsequently be made readily available, and that users must give credit and attribution to Wikipedia contributors. Mixing Wikipedia’s corpus into a chatbot model that gives answers to queries without explaining the sourcing may thus violate Wikipedia’s terms of use, two people in the open-source software community told me. It is now a topic of conversation inside the Wikimedia community whether some legal recourse exists. <br> Data providers may be able to exert other kinds of leverage as well. In April, Reddit announced that it would not make its corpus available for scraping by big tech companies without compensation. It seems very unlikely that the Wikimedia Foundation could issue the same dictum and close its sites off — an action that Nicholas Vincent has called a “data strike” — because its terms of service are more open. But the foundation could make arguments in the name of fairness and appeal to firms to pay for its A.P.I., just as Google does now. It could further insist that chatbots give Wikipedia prominent attribution and offer citations in their answers, something Selena Deckelmann told me the foundation is discussing with various firms. Vincent says that A.I. companies would be foolhardy to try to build a global encyclopedia themselves, with individual contractors. Instead, he told me, “there might be an intermediary stage here where Wikipedia says, ‘Hey, look at how important we’ve been to you.’” * Without ingesting the growing millions of Wikipedia pages or vacuuming up Reddit arguments about plot twists in “[[w:The Bear (TV series)|The Bear]],” new L.L.M.s can’t be adequately trained. In fact, no one I spoke with in the tech community seemed to know if it would even be possible to build a good A.I. model without Wikipedia. ==== 2024 ==== * We love the amount of support — from the trainings to the course guides to the assistance available via email. With the use of Wikipedia, students are thinking critically about the knowledge gaps and inequities found in public information sources and resources — and they work to improve these conditions with each assignment. <br> It's great that students get to see the impact of their work so quickly too, as the number of page views grows far faster than the number of scholars and colleagues who may otherwise read their published work. ** Terri Hlava as quoted by Hailey Torborg, [https://news.asu.edu/20240409-law-journalism-and-politics-asu-faculty-contributing-improvement-wikipedia “ASU faculty contributing to improvement of Wikipedia”], ''Arizona State University'', (April 09, 2024) * Wikipedia’s articles about history and religion have real-life impact on the world. What people read on Wikipedia shapes the opinions they form about politics, social justice and so forth. Therefore we need to make sure Wikipedia gets it right, and this project is going to help that goal. ** Shira Klein as quoted by Hailey Torborg, [https://news.asu.edu/20240409-law-journalism-and-politics-asu-faculty-contributing-improvement-wikipedia “ASU faculty contributing to improvement of Wikipedia”], ''Arizona State University'', (April 09, 2024) * If you know how to navigate the site, Wikipedia is a uniquely transparent knowledge-sharing platform. So students get to see how the articles are developed in ways that are typically black-boxed in academia’s peer-review process or in what happens in the office of news media organizations. This makes it a great learning opportunity for identifying how bias can shape Wikipedia content, and for practicing how to intervene in those processes. ** Tracy Perkins as quoted by Hailey Torborg, [https://news.asu.edu/20240409-law-journalism-and-politics-asu-faculty-contributing-improvement-wikipedia “ASU faculty contributing to improvement of Wikipedia”], ''Arizona State University'', (April 09, 2024) ==== 2025 ==== * I'm a passionate believer in what Wikipedia does. I tell people over and over again, Wikipedia is where facts are going to live. Wikipedia is a critically important platform, because it's built on lifting up reliable sources, something which is getting harder and harder to find. [[Meta:Wikimedia New York City|Wikimedia New York City]] is a great resource for the New York City community to both learn about Wikipedia and learning how to contribute to Wikipedia. It's one of the places where anyone can access free knowledge that's trustworthy. And that's increasingly rare in today's world. ** [[Craig Newmark]], [https://www.youtube.com/live/h_BwqDOPqiI?feature=shared Wikipedia Day 2025 in NYC], (January 25, 2025) *When you choose to become an editor, it’s because you’re passionate about an issue or you’re passionate about making sure that knowledge exists and it’s free for people to use, you don’t get paid to do this, and you didn’t sign up to be attacked. ** [[Pacita Rudder]], [https://www.cjr.org/the_new_gatekeepers/wikipedia-reluctant-resisters-musk-trump.php Wikipedia’s Reluctant Resisters], (March 13, 2025) *If you meet three Wikipedia editors, you’d feel better about the long-standing stamina of Wikipedia, like, if you see all these editors, you’re just like, Oh, these are the people who are trying to make sure that Wikipedia is going to remain not just intact, but that we’re going to keep telling this evolving story of the internet. ** [[Molly Stark Dean]], [https://www.cjr.org/the_new_gatekeepers/wikipedia-reluctant-resisters-musk-trump.php Wikipedia’s Reluctant Resisters], (March 13, 2025) *We’ve been fighting off attacks of one kind or another for twenty years, almost. ** [[Jim Henderson]], [https://www.cjr.org/the_new_gatekeepers/wikipedia-reluctant-resisters-musk-trump.php Wikipedia’s Reluctant Resisters], (March 13, 2025) *Wikipedia is so ironic. We wanted to give a voice to the voiceless, but what emerged was one of the most effective organs of Establishment propaganda in history. ** [[Larry Sanger]], [https://x.com/lsanger/status/1937958369933009227?t=neG-6pHyNg7-zzFWrrDhBQ&s=19 Twitter official account], (Jun 25, 2025) == See also == * [[Bomis]] * [[Citizendium]] * [[MediaWiki]] * [[Gender bias on Wikipedia]] * [[Wikiquote:Wiki-sisters]] * [[Wikiquote]] * [[Wikidata]] * [[Wikimedia]] * [[Wikisource]] * [[Wiktionary]] ==External links== {{Sister project links |wikt=yes |commons=Category:Wikipedia |n=Wikipedia| s=Wikipedia|author=no |b=Wikipedia |v=Wikipedia |d=Q52}} *[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Testimonials Wikipedia:Testimonials] (2001 – 2008) *[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Criticisms Wikipedia:Criticisms] (2002 – 2012) *[https://www.wikipedia.org Wikipedia's multi-lingual portal] [[Category:Wikimedia projects]] [[Category:Wikipedia| ]] avg5x2fer6k8jz7kf6f809giqzt5cwj 0 6456 3942032 3924913 2026-05-17T12:21:22Z Filmator1 3314256 /* */ 3942032 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} [[File:X2x-menunitedlogo.jpg|thumb|right|The war has begun.{{center|—''Magneto''}}]] '''''[[w:X2 (film)|X-Men 2]]''''', released in [[w:2003 in film|2003]] is the second of a series of three films based on the [[w:X-Men|X-Men]] comic series. It follows ''[[w:X-Men (film)|X-Men]]'' and precedes ''[[w:X-Men: The Last Stand|X-Men 3: The Last Stand]]'' In this film, the heroic team of mutants must form an uneasy alliance with former enemy Magneto to stop an obsessed military scientist from exterminating all mutant-kind. Based on characters from [[w:Marvel Comics|Marvel comics]]. :Directed by [[w:Bryan Singer|Bryan Singer]]. Screenplay by [[w:Michael Dougherty|Michael Dougherty]], [[w:Dan Harris|Dan Harris]], and [[w:David Hayter|David Hayter]]. Story by [[w:Zak Penn|Zak Penn]], [[w:David Hayter|David Hayter]] and Bryan Singer {{center|'''The time has come for those who are different to stand united''' ([[#Taglines|Taglines]])}} ==Professor Charles Xavier== *Mutants. Since the discovery of their existence they have been regarded with fear, suspicion, often hatred. Across the planet, debate rages. Are mutants the next link in the evolutionary chain or simply a new species of humanity fighting for their share of the world? Either way it is a historical fact: Sharing the world has never been humanity's defining attribute. ==Logan/Wolverine== * ''[After ripping off and throwing his dog tags at Stryker's feet]'' I'll take my chances with him. ==Erik Lehnsherr/Magneto== * ''[After stopping the X-Jet from crashing with his powers]'' When will these people learn how to fly? ==Jean Grey== * Mutation: it is the [[key]] to our [[evolution]]. It is how we have evolved from a single-celled organism into the dominant species on the planet. This process is slow, normally taking thousands and thousands of years. '''But every few hundred millennia, evolution leaps forward.''' ==Colonel William Stryker== * I was piloting black-ops missions in the jungles of North Vietnam when you were suckin' on your mama's tit at Woodstock, Kelly. Don't lecture me about war. This already ''is'' a war. ==Dialogue== :''[Pyro and Iceman show off their skills in a museum, but the people caught by surprise at what's happening suddenly freeze.]'' :'''Rogue''': Bobby, what did you do? :'''Iceman''': I didn't do this. :'''Professor Xavier''': ''[appears]'' No. I did. ''[to John]'' And the next time you feel like showing off, don't. <hr width=50%/> :'''Colonel William Stryker''': We developed the technology that built his plastic prison. :'''Senator Kelly''': This facility is a school. :'''Stryker''': Sure it is. ''[he sets photos on the president's desk]'' :'''President McKenna''': What the hell is that? :'''Stryker''': A jet. :'''McKenna''': What kind of jet? :'''Stryker''': We don't know &mdash; but it comes up out of the basketball court. <hr width=50%/> :''[Logan enters Cerebro holding a lit cigar]'' :'''Professor Charles Xavier''': Logan, my tolerance for your smoking in the mansion notwithstanding, continue smoking that in ''here'', and you'll spend the rest of your days under the belief that you're a six year-old girl. :'''Logan''': You'd do that? :'''Xavier''': I'd have Jean braid your hair. ''[amused, Logan extinguishes the cigar on his own palm]'' Welcome back. <hr width=50%/> :''[Professor Xavier learns that Colonel Stryker has been interrogating Magneto in prison.]'' :'''Professor Charles Xavier''': Erik, what have you done? :'''Magneto''': I'm sorry, Charles. I couldn't help it. :'''Professor Charles Xavier''': What have you told Stryker? :'''Magneto''': ''Everything.'' ''[Xavier and Magneto notice gas being released in prison]'' The war has begun. <hr width=50%/> :'''Professor Charles Xavier''': [''Wakes up in Stryker's chambers''] William? :'''Colonel William Stryker''': Please, Xavier, don't get up! :''[electronic static]'' :'''Colonel William Stryker''': I call it the neural inhibitor. It keeps you outta here. ''(he taps his forehead)'' :'''Professor Xavier''': What have you done with Scott? :'''Colonel William Stryker''': Oh, don't worry. I'm just giving him a little re-education. Of course, you know ''all'' about that, don't you? :'''Professor Xavier''': William, you wanted me to cure your son, but mutation isn't a disease... :'''Colonel William Stryker''': ''(enraged)'' '''YOU'RE LYING!''' You were even more frightened of him than I was! You know, just one year after Jason returned from your 'school', my wife...! You see, he resented us, he blamed ''us'' for his condition, so he would toy with our minds, projecting visions and scenarios into our brains. Well, my wife, in the end she took a power drill to her left temple in an attempt to bore the images out. ''(contemptuously)'' My boy, the great illusionist! :'''Professor Xavier''': For someone who hates mutants, you certainly keep some strange company. :'''Colonel William Stryker''': Oh, they serve their purpose... as long as they can be controlled. :'''Professor Xavier''' ''(realizes, horrified)'': ''You'' arranged the attack on the President! :'''Colonel William Stryker''': You didn't even have to read my mind. You know, I've been working with mutants as long as you have, Xavier...but the most frustrating thing I've learned is that nobody really knows how many even exist, or how to find them - except you. Unfortunately this little potion won't work on you, will it? You're much too powerful for that. Instead we'll go right to the source. Allow me to introduce mutant 143. The fluid secreted by his brain acts as a mind-controlling agent. :''[Stryker introduces Jason, his son, in a wheelchair, who is also a mutant]'' :'''William Stryker''': But that's only where it begins. :'''Professor Xavier''' ''(horrified)'': Jason. Oh, my God, William, this is your ''son''! What have you done? :'''Colonel William Stryker''': ''NO, Charles!'' My son is dead... just like the rest of you. <hr width=50%/> :''[While Kurt prays, Ororo stumbles to him and look at Kurt's markings in his face]'' :'''Storm''': So... what... are they? :'''Nightcrawler''': They are angelic symbols passed on to mankind by the Archangel Gabriel. :'''Storm''': They're beautiful. How many do you have? :'''Nightcrawler''': One for every sin. So quite a few. :''[Storm smiles]'' :'''Nightcrawler''': You and Miss Grey are schoolteachers? :'''Storm''': Yes. At a school for people like us, where we can be safe. :'''Nightcrawler''': Safe from what? :'''Storm''': Everyone else. :'''Nightcrawler''': You know, outside of the circus, most people were afraid of me. But I did not hate them: I pitied them. Do you know why? Because most people will never know anything beyond what they see with their own two eyes. :'''Storm''': Well, I gave up on pity a long time ago. :'''Nightcrawler''': Someone so beautiful should not be so angry. :'''Storm''': Sometimes [[anger]] can help you survive. :'''Nightcrawler''': So can [[faith]]. <hr width=50%/> :'''Magneto''': His name is Colonel William Stryker, and he invaded your mansion for one purpose; he wanted Cerebro, or enough of it to build one of his own. :'''Dr. Jean Grey''': But that doesn't make any sense. Stryker would need the Professor to operate it. :'''Magneto''': Which I think is the only reason my old friend is still alive. :'''Storm''': Oh, my God...''[She, Jean, and Magneto exchange worried looks]'' :'''Wolverine''': What are you all so afraid of? :'''Magneto''': While Cerebro is working, Charles's mind is connected to every living person on the planet. If he were forced to concentrate hard enough on a particular group - let's say, mutants, for example - ''he could kill us all.'' :'''Storm''': ''[incredulously]'' Wait a minute. How would Stryker even know where to find Cerebro in the first place? :'''Magneto''': ''[ashamed]'' Because I told him. I helped Charles build it, remember? Mr. Stryker has powerful methods of persuasion, even against a mutant as strong as Charles. :'''Jean Grey''': So who is this Stryker, anyway? :'''Magneto''': He's a military scientist. He spent his whole life trying to solve the 'mutant problem'. If you want a more intimate perspective, why don't you ask Wolverine? ''[to Wolverine]'' You don't remember, do you? William Stryker: The only other man I know who can manipulate adamantium. The metal on your bones. It carries his signature. :'''Wolverine''': But the Professor— :'''Magneto''': The Professor trusted you were smart enough to discover this on your own. He gives you more credit than I do. <hr width=50%/> :'''Pyro''': So they say you're the bad guy. :'''Magneto''': Is that what they say? :'''Pyro''': That's a dorky-looking helmet. What's it for? :'''Magneto''': This "dorky-looking helmet" is the only thing that's going to protect me from the ''real'' bad guys. ''[grabs Pyro's lighter with his power]'' What's your name? :'''Pyro''': John. :'''Magneto''': What's your ''real'' name, John? :'''Pyro''': ''[collects a flame from the lighter and juggles a small fireball.]'' Pyro. :'''Magneto''': That's quite a talent you have there, Pyro. :'''Pyro''': I can only manipulate the fire. I can't create it. ''[closes his hand, extinguishing the flames]'' :'''Magneto''': You are a god among insects. Never let anyone tell you different. <hr width=50%/> :''[Wolverine stops Stryker from escaping and forces his claws up into his armpit.]'' :'''Wolverine''': How did it feel, bub? :'''Colonel William Stryker''': Why did you come back? :'''Wolverine''': You cut me open! You took ''MY LIFE!'' :'''Colonel William Stryker''': You make it sound as if I stole something from you. As I recall, it was you volunteered for the procedure. :'''Wolverine''': ''[Pauses]'' Who am I? :'''Colonel William Stryker''': You... are just a failed experiment. ''[Wolverine forces his claws up into his armpit even further, causing him to scream in pain]'' If you really knew about your past, what kind of person you were, the work that we did together...People don't change, Wolverine. You were an animal then, you're an animal now. I just gave you claws. :''[An alarm sounds, distracting both men]'' :'''Wolverine''': What the hell is that? ''WHAT IS IT?!'' :'''Colonel William Stryker''': The dam's ruptured. It's gonna flood water under the spillway. It's trying to relieve the pressure. It's too late. In a few minutes, we'll all be underwater...Come with me, and I'll tell you everything you wanna know. You can't help your friends. They're as good as dead, Wolverine. You're a survivor--always have been. :'''Wolverine''': I thought I was just an animal... with ''claws''. ''[Holds his claws up to Stryker's face]'' If we die... you die. :''[He pulls out his claws from Stryker's armpit, then forces his back against the wheel of the helicopter and chains him up before running off]'' :'''Colonel William Stryker''': '''THERE ARE NO ANSWERS THAT WAY, WOLVERINE!''' <hr width=50%/> :''[Wolverine approaches Stryker, who was chained to the chunk of the dam by Magneto earlier, while carrying Artie in his arms.]'' :'''Colonel William Stryker''': Who has the answers, Wolverine? Those people, or that creature in your arms? :''[Logan doesn't respond and turns to Artie, then turns back to Stryker]'' :'''Colonel William Stryker''': Huh? ''HUH?!'' :''[Wolverine puts down Artie, then yanks off his dog tags and throws them at Stryker's feet]'' :'''Wolverine''': ''[picks up Artie]'' I'll take my chances with him. ''[walks away]'' :'''Colonel William Stryker''': One day, someone will finish what I've started, Wolverine! One day! '''ONE DAY!!!''' :''[While Wolverine walks away, Artie turns to Stryker and sticks out his forked tongue at him]'' <hr width=50%/> :''[Rogue has handed the President classified documents detailing Colonel Stryker's activities.]'' :'''President McKenna''': Where did you get these? :'''Professor Charles Xavier''': Let's just say I know a little girl who can walk through walls. ==Taglines== * The time has come for those who are different to stand united. * Get ready for the return of the Evolution. * Evolution Continues. * The ones we fear most, will be all that can save us... again. * In this world wide conspiracy the only thing you can count on... Is the X factor. * First, they were fighting for acceptance. Now, they're battling for survival. * X-Men United. ==Cast== :[[Patrick Stewart]] &ndash; [[w:Professor X|Professor Charles Xavier]] :[[Hugh Jackman]] &ndash; [[w:Wolverine (comics)|Logan/Wolverine]] :[[Ian McKellen]] &ndash; [[w:Magneto (comics)|Eric Lehnsherr/Magneto]] :[[Halle Berry]] &ndash; [[w:Storm (comics)|Ororo Munroe/Storm]] :[[w:Famke Janssen|Famke Janssen]] &ndash; [[w:Jean Grey|Jean Grey/Phoenix]] :[[w:James Marsden|James Marsden]] &ndash; [[w:Cyclops (comics)|Scott Summers/Cyclops]] :[[w:Anna Paquin|Anna Paquin]] &ndash; [[w:Rogue (comics)|Rogue]] :[[w:Rebecca Romijn|Rebecca Romijn]] &ndash; [[w:Mystique (comics)|Raven Darkholme/Mystique]] :[[w:Brian Cox (actor)|Brian Cox]] &ndash; [[w:William Stryker|William Stryker]] :[[w:Alan Cumming|Alan Cumming]] &ndash; [[w:Nightcrawler (comics)|Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler]] :[[w:Bruce Davison|Bruce Davison]] &ndash; [[w:Robert Kelly (comics)|Senator Kelly]] :[[w:Aaron Stanford|Aaron Stanford]] &ndash; [[w:Pyro|John Allerdyce/Pyro]] :[[w:Shawn Ashmore|Shawn Ashmore]] &ndash; [[w:Iceman (comics)|Bobby Drake/Iceman]] :[[w:Kelly Hu|Kelly Hu]] &ndash; [[w:Lady Deathstrike|Yuriko Oyama/Deathstrike]] :[[w:Katie Stuart|Katie Stuart]] &ndash; [[w:Kitty Pryde|Kitty Pryde]] :[[w:Kea Wong|Kea Wong]] &ndash; [[w:Jubilee (comics)|Jubilation Lee/Jubilee]] ==About X-Men 2== * "X2: X-Men United" is the kind of movie you enjoy for its moments, even though they never add up. Made for (and possibly by) those with short attention spans, it lives in the present, providing one amazing spectacle after another, and not even trying to develop a story arc. Having trained on the original "[[X-Men (film)|X-Men]]" (2000), i tried to experience the film entirely in the present, and the fact is, i had a good time. Dumb, but good. * Like all the characters in the [[Marvel Comics]] stable, the X-Men have [[psychological]] or [[political]] problems; in the first movie they were faced with [[genocide]], and in this one their right to [[privacy]] is violated with the Mutant Registration Act. Of course there will be audience members who believe mutants should have no rights, and so "X2" provides a valuable civics lesson. (How you register a mutant who can teleport or shape-shift is not explained.) * Odd, then, that Wolverine is one of the dominant characters even though his X-Acto knuckles seem pretty insignificant compared to the powers of Pyro or Cyclops. In a convention borrowed from martial arts movies, "X2" pairs characters with matching powers, so that when Wolverine has his titanic battle, it's with an enemy also equipped with blades. What would happen if Pyro and Iceman went head to head? I visualize the two of them in a pool of hot water. * Since the earliest days of "Spider-Man," Marvel heroes have had personal problems to deal with, and there's a classic Stan Lee moment here in the scene where Iceman breaks the news to his parents that he is a mutant. The movie treats the dialogue as a [[LGBT|coming out]] scene, half-seriously, as if providing inspiration for real-life [[parents]] and their [[children]] with [[secrets]]. * "X2: X-Men United" lacks a beginning, a middle and an end, and exists more as a self-renewing loop. In that it is faithful to [[comics|comic books]] themselves, which month after month and year after year seem frozen in the same fictional universe. ** [[Roger Ebert]], [https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/x2-x-men-united-2003 "X-2: X-Men United"], ''Rogerebert.com'', (May 2, 2003). * On the first film, the studio was worried about the lead character stabbing people. We were like, “Yeah, okay, but he has nine inch blades that come out of his fists. People are going to get stabbed.” You can’t do what they do in the cartoons having him open doors or be the world’s most dangerous can opener. When we started to do X2 one of the first things I said to Bryan [Singer] was we needed to see Wolverine cut loose and just go on a rampage. We also knew we want the mansion be invaded. I think it was Bryan who said the others should be out of town and it should just be Wolverine watching the mansion, then you can see him tear into those people. We made sure the soldiers he was attacking were faceless. They got masks on, so you can stay in a PG-13 relm and murder a bunch of people. That’s what my 15-year-old self wanted to see from Wolverine. :* [[w:David Hayter|David Hayter]], [http://filmschoolrejects.com/features/david-hayter-on-the-evolution-of-comic-book-movies.php "On The Evolution of Comic Book Movies"], Jack Giroux, ''Film School Rejects'', (21 July 2013). * When I first read this installment of the script, because I've been talking to fans, and if there's one thing they've said to me it was, 'You don't kick enough ass. Let's see that berserker rage!' I kind of thought about that, and I was like, 'Jeez, you're right.' When I went back to X-Men I, there really wasn't a lot there. I had a huge fight scene with Mystique, where I ended up on my back, knocked out, and there's a bit at the beginning, there wasn't a lot of that berserker rage. So, when I read the script, I thought the relationships were better, I thought it was funnier, I thought there was more action, but I still said, 'We've got to get even more action.' I kind of fought for a little bit more in the mansion scene sequence, particularly. That was a little more berserker rage there than was originally. But, apart from that, I thought the script had a great balance. I think it works for Wolverine's story. It's not like he's in the corner crying. He's at a crisis point where he's about to find out everything he's ever wanted to know, and as liberating as that would be, it's frightening as all hell. So, he's on edge. He's having these nightmares. So, it all kind of works in together with the action. ** [[Hugh Jackman]], [http://www.ign.com/articles/2003/04/29/an-interview-with-hugh-jackman "An Interview With Hugh Jackman"], ''IGN'', (29, April 2003) * With the movie coming out in the aftermath of the military action in Iraq, Singer was asked if the troubled times made him nervous about people's reactions to the war theme in this film. "No, not at all, because the soldiers working in this film, they're not even working in the United States. They're working up in Alberta, in a secret base. They're working for a person who's completely rogue from the government. The President of the United States is very on the fence and very concerned, justifiably about issues. There are mutants who possess incredible power and who are terribly violent and dangerous to the human society and mutant society. I view these as henchmen, and in terms of fighter airplanes getting dogged and police getting dogged, no one in that sphere is really harmed. It's not about bullying the authority. I personally have tremendous faith and support of our authorities and military ... Having shown it to friends of mine in the military, they get a kick out of the fact that these soldiers are a bunch of rogue, dirt bags that get what's coming to them. And we see that. We definitely see that. This guy, Stryker, he's operating in his own universe. He's tricking the President, he's conning the President into his operation, so it's quite the opposite if anything. He's more of a terrorist." ** [[w:Bryan Singer|Bryan Singer]] in [http://www.ign.com/articles/2003/04/30/an-interview-with-bryan-singer "An Interview With Bryan Singer"] by Michelle Zoromski, ''IGN'', (30 April 2003). == See also == *[[X-Men (comics)]] *[[X-Men (film)]] *[[X-Men: The Last Stand|X-Men 3: The Last Stand]] *[[X-Men Origins: Wolverine]] *[[X-Men: First Class]] *[[The Wolverine|Wolverine]] *[[X-Men: Days of Future Past]] *[[X-Men: Apocalypse]] *[[Logan (film)]] *[[Dark Phoenix (film)|X-Men: Dark Phoenix]] *[[The New Mutants]] *[[Deadpool & Wolverine]] == External links == {{Wikipedia|X2 (film)}} [[Category:2003 films]] [[Category:2003 American films]] [[Category:Political drama films]] [[Category:Political thriller films]] [[Category:Cybernetics in films]] [[Category:Films about altered memories]] [[Category:X-Men films]] [[Category:Films directed by Bryan Singer]] [[Category:Screenplays by Zak Penn]] [[Category:Screenplays by David Hayter]] [[Category:Films about disability]] [[Category:Films about shapeshifting]] [[Category:Films based on works by Chris Claremont]] [[Category:Films set in Boston]] [[Category:2000s English-language films]] [[Category:Films about telekinesis]] 8eeuynxbcjf3r1nzx1xdt9rvi4fqoue 0 6553 3942252 3829865 2026-05-18T06:56:46Z ~2026-29741-14 3323919 /* Secret Origins [1.1-3] */ 3942252 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} [[File:DC_Bullet_(SVG).svg|thumb|I once thought I could [[protect]] the [[world]] by myself, but I was [[wrong]]. [[Working]] together, we saved the planet, and I [[believe]] that if we stay together as a team, we could be a [[force]] that could truly work for the [[ideals]] of [[peace]] and [[justice]].]] [[File:Hippolyte_Amazon_queen.jpg|thumb|My [[mother]] may not approve, but I found Man's World to be quite [[intriguing]]. I'll gladly join.]] [[File:Bat_Phone.jpg|thumb|I'm not really a [[people]] person. But, when you need [[help]] - and you '''will''' - call me.]] '''''[[w:Justice League (TV series)|Justice League]]''''' is an American animated television series which ran from November 17, 2001 to May 29, 2004 on [[w:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]] as part of the [[w:DC Animated Universe|DC Animated Universe]]. Produced by [[w:Warner Bros. Animation|Warner Bros. Animation]], it is based on the [[w:Justice League|Justice League of America]] and associated comic book characters published by [[DC Comics]]. ==Season 1== ===''Secret Origins'' [1.1-3]=== :'''B. Allen Carter''': Would you look at that. A little slice of heaven. :'''Ed Reiss''': If your idea of heaven is a barren, lifeless rock. :'''J. Allen Carter''': You have the soul of a poet. :'''Ed Reiss''': Carter, we didn't come for the viewers. <br> Our mission here is purely scientific. Are you getting any readings? :'''J. Allen Carter''': No detectable level of H20...hold on. :'''Ed Reiss''': What? :'''J. Allen Carter''': Could be an ice crystal. No. It almost looks organic. :'''Ed Reiss''': Carter, look out! Carter! Carter, do you read me? Are you alright? Repeat! Carter, do you read me? :'''J. Allen Carter''': I'm okay Ed. Ed? Come in Ed! ''[static]'' Dead. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Superman|Superman]]''': Medic! He needs helps. :'''Medic''': ''[wheezing a stretcher over to where Superman is landing]'' What happened? :'''Superman''': I'm not sure. ''[Superman lays Batman, unconsciously, on a stretcher and flies away. The medic takes his pulse, then reaches for his mask.]'' :'''[[w:Batman|Batman]]''': ''[grabbing her waist]'' Don't even ''think'' about it. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Martian Manhunter|Martian Manhunter]]''': I came to warn you, but I was captured and imprisoned. They wouldn't listen. :'''Batman''': Big surprise. :'''Martian Manhunter''': I sense you don't trust me. Perhaps this will help. ''[after changing to a more human form]'' I am J'onn J'onzz. :''[He offers his hand to Batman, who just stands there.]'' :'''Superman''': Don't take it personally, J'onn. He doesn't trust anyone. :'''Martian Manhunter''': ''[dryly]'' A wise policy. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Whoa! Where have you been all my life? :'''Wonder Woman''': Themyscira. :'''Flash''': Huh? :'''Hawkgirl''': The home of the Amazons. I always thought it was merely a legend. :'''Wonder Woman''': I assure you, it's as real as the ground on which we stand on. I am Diana, Princess of the Amazons. :'''Flash''': Pinch me, I must be dreaming. ''[Superman elbows him]'' Ow! :'''Wonder Woman''': Themyscira is protected by the gods. But I could not idly stand by when the rest of the world is in danger. :'''Superman''': It was lucky you showed up when you did. :'''Martian Manhunter''': No. Not luck. I telepathically summoned them. :'''Flash''': Look, I'm usually pretty quick on the uptake, but would someone please tell me, what the heck is going on here? ''[Everyone looks at him]'' :'''Wonder Woman''': So, J'onn J'onzz, you came from Mars to warn us? :'''Flash''': This is just too weird. :'''Green Lantern''': I've seen stranger things.<hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': What's the problem? Can't you just whip up another batch of that nerve gas? :'''Martian Manhunter''': Unfortunately, no. The gas can only be made from a rare Martian plant. I brought a sample with me, but it was destroyed when I was captured. :'''Flash''': Uh, what's Plan B? :'''Wonder Woman''': We'll have to take out those factories. :'''Green Lantern''': Lady, this is no job for amateurs. :'''Wonder Woman''': We Amazons are warriors born! Want to test me? :'''Superman''': Lets not fight among ourselves. John, we're going to need all the help we can get. :'''Green Lantern''': Fine. Sorry, "your highness". Tactically, we'll have multiple objectives. We'll need to split into teams. :'''Flash''': Dibs on the Amazon! ''[cut to Flash and Green Lantern]'' You are no fun! :'''Green Lantern''': This isn't supposed to be fun. We've got a job to do. We'll do it better without distractions. Understood? :'''Flash''': Yeah, yeah. I hear you. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': Are you always so eager to fight? :'''Hawkgirl''': My homeworld, Thanagar, is a war-like world. There, one must strike first or die. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Imperium''': You're hiding something. A secret in the recesses of your mind. Is this another of your Martian tricks? :'''Martian Manhunter''': Do I sense fear? <hr width="50%"/> :''[The League is in the watchtower for the first time.] :'''Superman''':''[looking out the window]'' Incredible...Do your stockholders know about this Bruce? :'''Batman''': A line item hidden in the aerospace R&D budget. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': I once thought I could protect the world by myself, but I was wrong. Working together, we saved the planet, and I believe that if we stay together as a team, we could be a force that could truly work for the ideals of peace and justice. :'''[[w:Wally West|The Flash]]''': What, like a bunch of... [[w:Super Friends|super friends?]] :'''Superman''': More like a [[w:Justice League|Justice League]]. :'''The Flash''': You have no idea how corny that sounds. But maybe the big guy's got a point. With all of us behind it, it just might work. Count me in. :'''Green Lantern''': Me too. :'''Hawkgirl''' : And me. :'''Wonder Woman''': My mother may not approve, but I found Man's World to be quite intriguing. I'll gladly join. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': I'm not really a people person. But, when you need help - and you '''will''' - call me. ===''In Blackest Night'' [1.4-5]=== :'''Martian Manhunter''': Wonder Woman is on another case, Superman's dealing with an earthquake and Batman would only say that he's "busy". :'''[[w:Hawkgirl|Hawkgirl]]''': Typical. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Hawkgirl has just critically damaged an attacking ship]'' :'''Superman''': Hawkgirl! :'''Hawkgirl''': What? ''[Superman flies off to prevent the ship from crashing]'' Oh, that. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Flash catches Hawkgirl after getting thrown]'' :'''Flash''': Aren't you gonna thank me? :'''Hawkgirl''': Down, boy. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Asking the fastest man alive to slow things down? Won't be easy. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Third Judge''': We don't want any doubt about our final judgement, do we? :'''Second Judge''': No, we don't. But who will speak for John Stewart? :'''Flash''': Don't you have any lawyers here? :'''Chief Judge''': We solved our lawyer problem a long time ago. :'''Third Judge''': However, you could speak for him, if you wish. :'''Second Judge''': But be aware, if you lose, you'll share the same penalty as the accused. :'''Flash''': The same penalty? You mean... that's crazy! :'''Chief Judge''': No, that's how we solved our lawyer problem. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': ''[buying time defending Green Lantern]'' Ahem. Right. Sure. But first, I'd like to say a few words about... about habeus corpus. Yeah, habeus corpus! And ipso... facto! Phi Beta Kappa!... ''[still defending Green Lantern]'' Have you asked yourself, "why this rush to judgment?" [[w:O. J. Simpson murder case#The glove|If the ring wasn't lit, you must acquit]], and furthermore... <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Uh, looks like we've got a surprise witness. :'''Prosecutor''': Surprise witness? He was nowhere near the crime, what kind of witness could he be? :'''Flash''': A big scary one. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Prosecutor''': How much more must we hear? We demand an immediate judgment! :'''Flash''': I object! :'''Judges''': ''[in unison, clearly irritated]'' OVERRULED! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': I'm sorry. I did everything I could. :'''[[w:John Stewart (comics)|Green Lantern]]''': I wish you hadn't. :'''Flash''': ''[being moved toward the execution chamber]'' Whoa, time out! I want an appeal! :'''Green Lantern''': Will you show some dignity for once in your life? :'''Flash''': This isn't right. We can't just sit here. :'''Green Lantern''': We have to. Think of the others like us. We all need to be held accountable. We have too much power not to be. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight. Let those who worship evil's might, beware my power: Green Lantern's light! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Guardian''': We chose wisely when we offered you the ring. ===''The Enemy Below'' [1.6-7]=== :'''Superman''': You know, all this could have been avoided. :'''[[w:Aquaman|Aquaman]]''': How? :'''Superman''': Come and air your grievances at the World Assembly. Negotiate for peace. :'''Aquaman''': You'd have me crawl to them like some beggar? :'''Superman''': No. Stand before them like a king. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': We never should have left that sub down there. Now it's in the hands of that madman. :'''[[w:Wonder Woman|Wonder Woman]]''': Aquaman's no madman. He's a king. He only wants to preserve and protect his own kind. :'''Green Lantern''': So who's going to protect ''us'' from ''him''? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': I'll take it from here. ''[takes Deadshot away from the group]'' :'''[[w:Deadshot|Deadshot]]''': You can't scare me, Batman. :'''Batman''': ''[grabbing him]'' Let me give you one word of advice... :''[Batman whispers something indistinct.]'' :'''Deadshot''': Okay, I'll tell, I'll tell. :'''Wonder Woman''': ''[to Superman]'' What did he say? :'''Superman''': You don't want to know. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Aquaman jumps off of a jetski and onto the back of a giant killer whale, which jumps through the air and lands on a large group of soldiers before submerging.]'' :'''Green Lantern''': I saw it, but I still don't believe it. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Ocean Master|Orm]]''': Well, I'm off to avenge your deaths. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': His own hand... I can't believe it. :'''Green Lantern''': I told you he was a madman. :'''Mera''': Is it madness to sacrifice all for someone you love? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': There's not much time. If we can't shut that down, the entire world is doomed! :'''Green Lantern''': I suppose this is a bad time to say "I told you so." <hr width="50%"/> :'''Aquaman''': ''[sighs]'' I can only blame myself. My fear of the surface-dwellers blinded me to those I should have feared most... and it cost me dearly. ''[looks down at the harpoon replacing his severed hand]'' :'''Green Lantern''': Don't be too hard on yourself. Maybe we've all misjudged. :'''Aquaman''': Perhaps. All I want, all I've ever wanted, is peace and security for Atlantis. :'''Superman''': After what's happened, it won't be easy. :'''Aquaman''': ''[looks back at Mera, holding their son]'' I know. But some sacrifices are worth it. ===''Injustice For All'' [1.8-9]=== :'''Martian Manhunter''': ''[to Luthor]'' So much for your image as a benevolent businessman. This is the end of an era. :'''[[w:Lex Luthor|Lex Luthor]]''': The end of ''your'' era, maybe. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': Lex, if there's anything I can do- :'''Lex Luthor''': You've done more than enough! <hr width="50%"/> :''[Luthor interrupts the [[w:Ultra-Humanite|Ultra-Humanite]]'s opera program]'' :'''Lex Luthor''': Humanite! How can you stand that caterwauling?! :'''Ultra-Humanite''': Music is one of the meager pleasures I'm allowed in here, along with a few other necessities. You should try the culture channel. It might improve your disposition. :'''Lex Luthor''': There's nothing wrong with my disposition that a little freedom wouldn't cure. :'''Ultra-Humanite''': That's not what ''I'' hear. :'''Lex Luthor''': ... I need your help. And I can make it worth your while. :'''Ultra-Humanite''': What do I need with money? :'''Lex Luthor''': Everyone needs money. The only question is, ''how much''? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hawkgirl''': I'm used to being thanked when I save someone. :'''Batman''': I'm not used to being saved. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Star Sapphire (comics)|Star Sapphire]]''': Common criminals. Is this what I've been reduced to? :'''Lex Luthor''': Criminals, yes. But common? Most certainly not. :'''[[w:Shade (comics)|Shade]]''': Lex Luthor? Well, the plot thins. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': And I had those flames out before the firemen even stepped off their trucks. :'''Hawkgirl''': That's fast. :'''Flash''': Fastest man alive. :'''Hawkgirl''': Which might explain why you can't get a date. :'''Flash''': Yeah... Hey! What's that supposed to mean? <hr width="50%"/> :''[Luthor is knocked back during the battle with the Justice League]'' :'''Ultra-Humanite''': There goes our paycheck. ''[catches him]'' I'd hate to see anything happen to you, Lex. :'''Lex Luthor''': I'm sure! <hr width="50%"/> :''[About [[w:Copperhead (DC comics)|Copperhead]], who was captured after biting Batman]'' :'''Superman''': I'm going down to interrogate him. :'''Batman''': Alright. Let's go. :'''Superman''': No, you're staying here. That venom almost killed you. :'''Batman''': So? :'''Superman''': SO, you're staying here. :'''Batman''': ''[watches Superman leave]'' Right. ''[sits up and removes wrist IV]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Batman, recovering from being poisoned, is typing at a computer.]'' :'''Martian Manhunter''': You really should be resting. ''[Batman keeps typing]'' I know this must be hard for you, feeling vulnerable. You're the only one of us without special powers, but you don't need to prove yourself. You're a valued member of this team, and we're only trying to- :'''Batman''': ''[Gets up]'' I'm taking the shuttle. Unless ''you'' want to try and stop me. :'''Martian Manhunter''': ''[pauses]'' No. ''[moves out of the way]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[After the Injustice Gang fail to defeat the Justice League]'' :'''Lex Luthor''': "The best at what you do". What was I thinking?! :'''[[w:Cheetah (comics)|Cheetah]]''': We did everything we could. :'''Lex Luthor''': Did you? Did you fight like your lives depended on it? Did you fight to the last man? :'''Shade''': You get what you pay for, Luthor. :'''Lex Luthor''': Are you saying you want MORE money? You want to be rewarded for failure?! I oughta take the whole bunch of you and- :'''[[w:Solomon Grundy (comics)|Solomon Grundy]]''': ''[grabs him around the neck]'' And what?! :'''Lex Luthor''': Go ahead! Do it! You'll be saving me months of bedpans and feeding tubes! And you'll also guarantee that none of you will ever see a penny from me! :'''Solomon Grundy''': ''[pauses, then drops Luthor]'' You're crazy. :'''[[w:Joker (comics)|Joker]]''': ''[entering]'' And what's wrong with that? It's done wonders for me! :'''Lex Luthor''': ''[annoyed]'' Get out of here! :'''Joker''': Oh, Lexy, I'm hurt! How could you have this little party without inviting me? :'''Lex Luthor''': It's ''not'' a party. Grundy, get rid of him. :''[Grundy moves towards Joker only to be knocked out by him]'' :'''Joker''': But seriously Lex, you need me. :'''Lex Luthor''': Like I need skin rash. :'''Joker''': Maybe so, but I know something you don't know: I know how the Bat thinks! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': Lex, Lex, listen to someone who KNOWS. ''[whispering and pointing to Luthor's gun]'' Don't wait. Do it now. :'''Lex Luthor''': You don't like my decisions? Leave! ''[pushes him away]'' :'''Joker''': And they say ''I'm'' crazy. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Superman and Flash interrogate Copperhead]'' :'''Copperhead''': I keep telling you, I don't know anything! I'm just... :'''Superman, Flash and Copperhead''': ... "an innocent victim of circumstances". :'''Flash''': Yeah, yeah, we know. :''[Superman grabs Copperhead and pushes him against a wall]'' :'''Superman''': Copperhead, when are you going to get some sense and tell us where Luthor is?! :'''Copperhead''': ''[not intimidated]'' Oooh, this must be the part where I get so scared, I spill my guts. :'''Superman''': I'm warning you... :'''Copperhead''': What are you gonna do, boy-scout? Short my sheets? Give me a wedgie? :'''Superman''': ''[drops Copperhead, and turns to two guards]'' Take him back to a holding cell. :'''Copperhead''': ''[being taken away]'' Hasta la vista! ''[hisses]'' :'''Flash''': ''[sarcastically]'' That went well. :'''Superman''': How does Batman do it? <hr width="50%"/> :''[Cheetah is supposed to be guarding Batman, but they end up talking about her past]'' :'''Batman''': So what happened then? :'''Cheetah''': My research opened up whole new worlds. There was so much to do... :'''Batman''': But so little funding. :'''Cheetah''': You know about that? :'''Batman''': You didn't have enough for research subjects, so you used yourself. :'''Cheetah''': And now I'm a freak. :'''Batman''': That's not what I see. I see someone who was willing to sacrifice everything for a cause she believed in. :'''Cheetah''': ''[softens]'' How do you know so much about me? :'''Batman''': Let's just say, cats aren't the only creatures who are curious. :'''Cheetah''': ''[sidles up to him]'' Too much curiosity can be dangerous. :'''Batman''': Maybe I ''like'' danger. :'''Cheetah''': Do you? :'''Batman''': ''[whispers]'' Try me. :''[She kisses him]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[While Cheetah "guards" Batman]'' :'''Joker''': She's been down there too long... :'''Lex Luthor''': Forget it. There's no way I'm going to leave you alone with him. :'''Joker''': But, Lexy, where's your sense of fun? Besides, it won't cost you a cent! <hr width="50%"/> :''[Luthor stumbles, clutching his heart]'' :'''Shade''': Maybe we should get paid now... <hr width="50%"/> :'''Lex Luthor''': ''[as the villains desert him]'' No! We can still win if we lure them here! I have a plan, but we've got to stick together. :'''Solomon Grundy''': Grundy not THAT dumb. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': [[w:Hello Kitty|Hello, Kitty!]] ''[knocks Cheetah out with a high-voltage joy-buzzer]'' And they say I'm not a team player. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Lex Luthor''': ''[attacking Superman with Kryptonite radiation]'' Why so surprised, Superman? It's a basic rule of business: turn every weakness into a strength. Of course, that's a lesson you won't live to appreciate. :'''Ultra-Humanite''': Neither will YOU, Lex. ''[electrocutes him from behind]'' :'''Lex Luthor''': ''[dazed]'' [[w:Et tu, Brute?|Et tu, Humanite?]] ''[passes out]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': Whoopsie! Time to run. But there is still one unfinished piece of business... <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': No fair! How did you get free?! :'''Batman''': I could have escaped any time. But I thought I'd hang around to keep an eye on you clowns. ''[punches Joker]'' :'''Joker''': ''[dazed]'' [[w:Daffy Duck|You're dethpicable!]] :''[Joker passes out. The corner of Batman's mouth turns up in a slight smile.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Luthor and Ultra-Humanite are back in prison]'' :'''Lex Luthor''': HUMANITE! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, YOU TURNCOAT! DO YOU HEAR?! YOU'LL PAY! :''[Ultra-Humanite is contentedly watching the Culture Channel on TV with a satisfied smile on his face]'' :'''TV Announcer''': This program was made possible by a grant from the Ultra-Humanite, and viewers like you. ===''Paradise Lost'' [1.10-11]=== :'''Wonder Woman''': I've got you little sister. :'''Cassie''': You're not my sister! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': My mother used to say the planets revolved around me. She called me her little sun and stars. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': ''[practicing for her return to Themyscira]'' "You look more radiant than ever, Mother..". No. ''[tries again]'' "Gone, Mother? I didn't go anywhere. I was in my room... alone... for eight months..". Definitely not. ''[tries again]'' "The world was in peril! Would you have me stand by and do nothing...?" Hera give me strength... <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': I am Diana, Princess of the Amazons! ''I won't be denied!'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Picture it - The sun. The sea. Hundreds of women just like her running around, and me: the first man they've seen in... oh, maybe forever. Oh, and look what I brought: Iced mochas for everyone! Sweet. :'''Martian Manhunter''': I fail to see the attraction. :'''Flash''': Man, you really are from Mars. :'''Martian Manhunter''': Perhaps we should concentrate on finding the relic. :'''Flash''': No problem. ''[Flash grabs the crystal, speeds into the temple, and returns carrying the pot with the relic]'' See? That was easy. ''[a giant, fire breathing snake emerges from the ground]'' Or not! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': ''[walking through a mall]'' It's like some kind of temple. :'''Superman''': Yes, for those who worship their credit cards. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': He swore revenge on those that mocked him, and several later disappeared under mysterious circumstances. :'''Wonder Woman''': I have a pretty good idea what happened to them. :''[Points to three stone faces with horrified looks]'' :'''Flash''': EW! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': Don’t touch that. :''[Energy blast goes off and Batman drops to the floor to dodge it]'' :'''Flash''': Oops! :'''Batman''': Don’t touch anything! We don’t know what kind of powers we’re dealing with. :''[The rest of The League quickly drops what they’re holding before Batman turns around]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Descending to the gateway to Tartarus]'' :'''Flash''': Ugh - what's that smell? :'''Wonder Woman''': Don't ask. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Felix Faust''': Thank you for your assistance. But now that your usefulness is over...Petropa kis- WHAT?! :''[Flash runs past and steals the amulet]'' :'''Flash''': You're not the only one with an ace up your sleeve. :'''Felix Faust''': W-what is this? :''[Batman swings in and knocks Faust to the ground]'' :'''Hippolyta''': You brought men here? To Themyscira?! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': What did you ever see in him? :'''Hippolyta''': ''[dryly]'' Ancient history. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hippolyta''': ''[As the Justice League leaves Themyscira]'' May Hera watch over you...my little sun and stars. ===''War World'' [1.12-13]=== :'''[[w:Mongul|Mongul]]''': Rebellion? There's not going to be any rebellion. Not if I can keep giving them fights - good ones. Enough to take their minds off their troubles. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Draaga''': Shall I spare him my lord? :'''[[w:Mongul|Mongul]]''': What say the rest of you. ''[Crowd jeers]'' The people have spoken. LONG LIVE DEMOCRACY! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Draaga''': Pathetic. The whole lot of you. Not a real warrior in the bunch. And you, the Kryptonian, you're the biggest disappointment of all. ''[Spits on Superman and walks away. Superman breaks out of his chains]'' :'''Alien''': Why didn't you do that when Draaga was here? :'''Superman''': It's called "turning the other cheek." <hr width="50%"/> :'''Alien''': I don't know if he's brave or just plain crazy. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': Relax. All we want is information about our friends. You can talk to me... ''[points to Hawkgirl]'' Or you can talk to ''her''. ''[Hawkgirl slaps her mace into one hand]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Mongul''': Are you ready, Kryptonian? :'''Superman''': I won't fight for your amusement, Mongul. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': Draaga, we don't have to do this! :'''[[w:Draaga|Draaga]]''': You don't have a choice - neither of us does. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Security robots are attempting to destroy Superman as the crowd (and the Martian Manhunter) look on.]'' :'''Martian Manhunter''': No! The Kryptonian won! Don't you want to see him fight again? :'''Spectator''': I gotta admit, he's a real champ! :'''Martian Manhunter''': He's more than that - he's a Superman! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Mongul''': Hear what they think of their new hero now? Game over! :'''Green Lantern''': Not yet. We're going into overtime. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': You've earned a chance for a whole new life. :'''Draaga''': What's life without honor? I'm not worthy. :'''Superman''': Draaga, the real test of honor isn't how you die. It's how you live. ===''The Brave And The Bold'' [1.14-15]=== :'''Flash''': Easy, boy. We'll have you back behind monkey bars before we know it. :'''[[w:Solovar|Solovar]]''': [[W:Planet of the Apes franchise|Get your stinking paws off me, you filthy human!]] :'''Flash''': Say what?! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': I can't think - I'm tired and hungry... :'''Detective''': Maybe some coffee will help. How do you take it? :'''Flash''': Cream and 37 sugars. ''[the detective starts, then looks at him incredulously]'' Really. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Let's see, after I caught the gorilla, he told me that... :'''Green Lantern''': He ''talked'' to you? :'''Flash''': Yeah, right after I stopped his car. :'''Green Lantern''': I'm supposed to believe this? :'''Flash''': Hey, we've both got a Martian's phone number on our speed dial. I think I deserve the benefit of the doubt here. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Gorilla Grodd|Grodd]]''': ''[after punching Flash]'' That's for the banana. I hate bananas. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Green Lantern blasts Solovar]'' :'''Solovar''': Was that really necessary? :'''Green Lantern''': Okay, so he ''can'' talk. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Grodd''': My apologies for the hasty exit, but I have a city to destroy! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Weird. Am I the only one creeped out here? Where is everyone? :'''Solovar''': Perhaps the shield frightened them. :'''Flash''': Could be. But usually, when a city looks this empty, flesh-eating zombies are involved. :'''Green Lantern''': You watch too many movies. :''[Promptly afterwards, they hear a large crowd ranting]'' :'''Flash''': Maybe you don't watch enough! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Dr. Sarah Corwin''': ''[fires at Flash, only to suddenly find him next to her]'' How... :'''Flash''': You blinked. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Gorilla Grodd''': People of [[w:Central City (DC Comics)|Central City]]! The age of hairless, simple-minded humanity is over! Today, a new age dawns. Today, Grodd rules. ''[crowd cheers]'' Humans are slow, ugly, immoral, and have an unpleasant body odor! :'''Flash''': Hey, who you calling slow?! :'''Green Lantern''': Flash, don't heckle the supervillain. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Solovar''': Flash! I can't hold them off much longer! :'''Flash''': How much do you weigh? :'''Solovar''': About four hundred of your pounds. Why do you AAAAAAAAAAAAAA-! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Grodd''': You're a bigger fool than I thought. :'''Flash''': Oh yeah?! Well, you're... naked! :'''Grodd''': ''[preparing to don his helmet]'' The world will miss your sparkling intellect. Goodbye, Flash. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Not bad, huh? I outsmarted a super-genius! :'''Green Lantern''': Guess you're not as dumb as you look. :'''Flash''': Yeah! and I... Hey, I resent that! Nobody makes a monkey out of me! ===''Fury'' [1.16-17]=== :'''Copperhead''': ''[About Aresia]'' I like her style. :'''Shade''': A definite improvement over Luthor. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Saleswoman''': It's the latest scent! Wear this, and you'll have to beat the men off with a stick. :'''Wonder Woman''': Believe me - I don't need a stick. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': An Amazon? That's ridiculous! :'''Batman''': I don't think so. ''[pulls out Aresia's necklace]'' I managed to take this off her. ''[throws it to Wonder Woman, who catches it]'' It's an Amazon design, isn't it? :'''Wonder Woman''': Yes... but it could be a forgery. ''[throws necklace back to Batman]'' Besides, Amazons don't steal; it's against our code. And we ''never'' leave the island. ''[turns to leave]'' :'''Batman''': ''[pointedly]'' Never? :''[Wonder Woman stops short at this]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Hawkgirl and Queen Hippolyta make their way towards a tower by a cliff]'' :'''Hippolyta''': That necklace belongs to Aresia - she's supposed to be here in solitary meditation. :''[They make their way up up the tower, only to find an empty room]'' :'''Hawkgirl''': Looks like she got tired of contemplating her navel. Nobody's been here in weeks! :'''Hippolyta''': I feared as much... :'''Hawkgirl''': So why was she in here? Did she do something wrong? :'''Hippolyta''': No. It was the final step of her rebirth. You see, Aresia was not born an Amazon - she comes from Man's World. When she was but a child, her homeland became the battlefield for a bloody and senseless war. The victors were cruel, and denied even the basic humanity of their defeated foes. Soon neighbours, friends and schoolmates were all gone. Her family had no choice but to flee. They eventually made their way to a refugee ship... but even here fate was not kind. Pirates raided the ship and stole their few meager possessions. ''[flashback shows the pirates firing at the ship, sinking it]'' Aresia survived, clinging to a piece of floating wreckage. Miraculously, she washed ashore here, on Themyscira. I found her, and nursed her back to health. Then, we Amazons adopted her, trained her, and magically endowed her with Amazon strength. I've often wondered if we did the right thing... Still, how could we refuse? :'''Hawkgirl''': You couldn't. :'''Hippolyta''': And now, she's deserted us. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hawkgirl''': ''[walks up to a chest]'' Maybe we'll find some answers in here. ''[lifts the lid open]'' :'''Hippolyta''': What is it? :'''Hawkgirl''': Books. ''[pulls one out]'' Maps, city guides... :'''Hippolyta''': These things are forbidden here! :'''Hawkgirl''': Why? :'''Hippolyta''': We believe contact with outside world could corrupt us. :'''Hawkgirl''': ''[regards book in her hands, entitled "History of Germ Warfare"]'' It's sure starting to look that way. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': So this Aresia is not really an Amazon? :'''Hawkgirl''': She's an orphan. It's hard to imagine what that kind of trauma could do to a child. :''[Batman gives her a pointed frown]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Katana (DC Comics)|Tsukuri]]''': So the poison only effects men? :'''[[w:Fury (DC Comics)|Aresia]]''': Exactly. That's why it didn't hurt you two. :'''[[w:Star Sapphire (character)|Star Sapphire]]''': But why? What do you have to gain from all of this? :'''Aresia''': ''[indignant]'' "What do I have to gain"?! Look around you: Man's World is filled with greed, deception and cruelty! But ''I'm'' going to change all that! Today, we women take control! :'''Star Sapphire''': You can't be serious. :'''Aresia''': ''[sneers]'' Can't I? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': ''[about Aresia, to Hawkgirl]'' Even when she was a child, I could sense a bitterness within in her. She was never really one of us. :'''Hawkgirl''': I think she fits in pretty well. :'''Wonder Woman''': ''[shocked]'' How can you say that?! :'''Hawkgirl''': Aresia's just taking her precious Amazon code to its logical extension. :'''Wonder Woman''': We don't teach hatred! :'''Hawkgirl''': Except when it comes to men. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Aresia''': ''[looking at a jet]'' It's perfect... Absolutely perfect! :'''Hippolyta''': ''[appearing behind her]'' For what? More betrayal? More destruction? :'''Aresia''': Your Highness! ''[bows]'' You of all people should understand why I'm doing this! :'''Hippolyta''': No! You have violated sacred Amazonian law! :'''Aresia''': ''[smirking]'' I'm sorry you see it that way. ''[Tsukuri knocks Hippolyta down]'' But I've come too far to turn back now. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': ''[lands in front of a female firefighter]'' Do you need help here? :'''Female Firefighter''': ''[wiping soot off her face]'' Thanks, but we finally got this one contained. :'''Hawkgirl''': ''[to a female paramedic]'' Any remaining victims? :'''Female Paramedic''': Just sent the last one to Gotham General. :'''Female Firefighter''': ''[to her squad]'' Alright ladies, let's wrap this up! ''[the other female firefighters climb onto the firetruck as it drives away]'' :'''Hawkgirl''': They seem to be on top of things. Impressive. :'''Wonder Woman''': ''[proudly]'' Almost reminds me of home. :'''Hawkgirl''': But who wants to live in a world without men? :'''Wonder Woman''': They can't possibly be that essential to your life. :'''Hawkgirl''': Don't knock it 'til you've tried it, Princess. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Aresia''': We'll be at the launch site at less than an hour. :'''Star Sapphire''': And then? :'''Aresia''': I shoot these [[w:Cruise missile|cruise missiles]] into the upper atmosphere; After they explode, the winds will scatter my poison all over the world. :'''Star Sapphire''': And I can say goodbye to some very unpleasant men I've known over the years. :'''Aresia''': You can say good bye to ''all'' of them. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Aresia''': You fools! Don't you see? We're not your enemy, it's the men! They must be destroyed. :'''Hippolyta''': You're wrong Aresia. Without men, you wouldn't still be here. After your ship sank, you must have lost consciousness as you drifted on your makeshift raft. You would surely have drowned had the ship's captain not found you and pulled you to safety. Valiantly he struggled to keep you alive until he brought you to the shores of Themyscira. But the effort was too much for his heart. His final resting place is a simple, unmarked grave. He's the only man ever buried on Themyscira. So you see, for all your hatred of men, it turns out you owe your life to one. :'''Aresia''': ...''Why'' didn't you ever tell me about this? :'''Hippolyta''': I didn't think it was important. ''[ashamed]'' I didn't think ''he'' was important. :'''Hawkgirl''': Maybe it's time to reconsider that. :'''Aresia''': So everything you ever preached was a lie? :'''Hippolyta''': Not everything. :'''Aresia''': ''[beat]'' Still, the acts of one man cannot redeem the sins of his kind! ''[turns toward the control panel]'' They ''all'' must pay! :'''Hippolyta''': NO! ''[Aresia knocks her out of the landing bay doors]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Hawkgirl sabotages the missile launch, causing them to activate in the plane]'' :'''Aresia''': ''[to Tsukuri]'' Shut the missile off! :'''Tsukuri''': It's too late! ''[grabs a jetpack]'' :'''Aresia''': Wait! You can't leave! :'''Tsukuri''': ''[shrugs on the jetpack]'' I like you, but not ''that'' much! ''[jumps out the landing bay doors]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Aresia's plane explodes and sinks into the ocean]'' :'''Hippolyta''': ''[solemnly]'' Poor Aresia. May the gods grant her peace at last. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': If only Aresia could have learned to see the noble qualities of men. :'''Flash''': ''[eating a donut]'' I definitely could have taught that bad babe a thing or two about guys. Too bad we never met. ''[washes it down with a soda; burps]'' :'''Wonder Woman''': Maybe it's... just as well. ===''Legends'' [1.18-19]=== :'''Sergeant O'Shaugnessy''': Music Master! Put up your hands and drop the Stradivarius! :'''[[w:Fiddler (comics)|Music Master]]''': Sorry, Sergeant - I don't take requests. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hawkgirl''': ''[strained, to Black Siren]'' So, you fight crime AND bake cookies. How DO you do it? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': I know it sounds corny, but those comics taught me what it meant to be a hero. Without them... well, maybe I wouldn't have this ring today. :'''Flash''': Oh-KAY. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Hawkgirl walks by with a tray of cookies.]'' :'''Flash''': Hey, Cookie. :'''Hawkgirl''': One word and you'll be the fastest man alive WITH A LIMP. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Ray Thompson''': Can I come? Can I? Can I? :'''Martian Manhunter''': I would hesitate to put the boy in harm's way. :'''Cat Man''': Sure thing, little buddy! :'''Ray Thompson''': Oh, boy! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Streak''': Obviously the clue "fire" can mean only one thing. The plan to steal the fabled Flame of Rasputin. A precious ruby necklace on loan to the Seaboard City Museum! :'''Green Lantern''': You know your stuff. It's an honor to fight beside you. :'''[[w:Flash (Jay Garrick)|Streak]]''': The feeling's mutual. Your a credit to your people, son. :'''Green Lantern''': Uh... thanks? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Is it just me, or are they the only cops in this town? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Streak''': ''[after Sir Swami escapes]'' A pity he uses his talents for evil, rather than entertain children at birthday parties. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Music Master''': This calls for a little travelling music. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Music Master''': Badaba to the fat lady - may she keep on singing! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Dr. Blizzard''': If you'll excuse me, Mr. Mayor, but I'll be taking off with my "chill" gotten gains. :'''Flash''': Chill out, Blizzard. We're putting you on ice! :'''Dr. Blizzard''': Forgive me if I give you the cold shoulder. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Like I said, you never had a snowball's chance in- :'''[[w:Black Canary|Black Siren]]''': Flash, look! :''[Flash sees a truck full of dynamite on a collision course with a bus full of nuns, who gasp and cross themselves.]'' :'''Flash''': You've gotta be kidding. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Icicle (comics)|Dr. Blizzard]]''': Ha! You can't escape my killing chill. :'''Flash''': I'm just getting warmed up! <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Sportsmaster|The Sportsman]]''': What's this? New player? No matter, watch the birdie. ''[explosion throws Catman forward]'' Game, Set, Match. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': ''[seeing the giant robot created to attack them]'' That's it. I officially want to go home. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Green Guardsman gets distracted seeing Ray brutally attack and defeat the Justice League]'' :'''[[w: Alan Scott|Green Guardsman]]''': The Justice League needs our help! ''[starts to fly toward them]'' :'''[[w:Superman (Earth-Two)|Tom]] [[w:Atom (Al Pratt)|Turbine]]''': WAIT! If what they said true, then defeating Ray could destroy this reality and everything in it! :'''Black Siren''': Including us. ''[Cat Man puts his arm around her]'' :''[The Justice Guild linger for a moment, wondering what to do, when Green Lantern starts screaming in pain]'' :'''Streak''': We died once to save this Earth. And we can do it again. :''[The Justice Guild converge on Ray]'' :'''Ray Thompson''': ''[to Green Lantern]'' You'll be sorry you messed things up! ''[Streak punches him]'' What is this!? :'''Tom Turbine''': In Seaboard City, crime doesn't pay. ''[pummels the ground, sending Ray flying backwards]'' :'''Ray Thompson''': ''[to the Guild, in shock]'' You can't! I ''made'' you! :'''Justice Guild''': ''[in unison]'' Let justice prevail! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hawkgirl''': Are you okay? :'''Green Lantern''': It's stupid really - why should I feel like this? I mean, they weren't even real. :'''Hawkgirl''': They gave their lives for us. That's real enough for me. ===''A Knight Of Shadows'' [1.20-21]=== :'''Jason Blood''': Gone, gone the form of man. Rise the demon Etrigan! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Etrigan''': For the past generation she has hidden from me, but I will never rest until her soul burns in the Eternal Pit. :'''Flash''': And I thought Bats was creepy. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Etrigan''': The witch has an amulet which can sense when I'm drawing near. :'''Flash''': With that stench, who needs an amulet? <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Etrigan the Demon|Etrigan]]''': Heed me. She will tap into your deepest desires, and dangle them like a carrot in front of your nose. She will give you everything you dream of - but only until she gets what she wants. :'''Batman''': The voice of experience? :'''Etrigan''': ''[grumbles]'' Don't say I didn't warn you. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Morgaine le Fey (DC Comics)|Morgaine le Fey]]''': ''[after draining the Hall of Records clerk of her life energy]'' Youth is so wasted on the young. ''[looks around at the computers]'' Don't these people believe in books anymore? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Etrigan''': I still don't trust that Martian. He's damaged goods. :'''Batman''': I trust J'onn with my life. :'''Etrigan''': I'll send flowers. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Flash and Wonder Woman try to get into Harv Hickman's Halloween party]'' :'''Flash''': Harv Hickman? The magazine publisher? :'''Wonder Woman''': You know his work? :'''Flash''': I, uh, only read it for the articles. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': ''[elbowing through crowd]'' Sorry, official world-saving business. :'''Bouncer''': Are you on the list? :'''Wonder Woman''': This is an emergency. We're with the Justice League. :'''Bouncer''': Heh. Sure, lady. ''[gestures to costumed party-goers, some dressed as superheroes]'' So are they. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Martian Manhunter''': ''[to Batman]'' I know what I experienced was an illusion, but it felt so ''real''. The urge to embrace it was more than I could bear. Sometimes I believe I would do anything to see my loved ones again. You can't imagine how that feels. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': Let me understand this - you possess the most powerful object in the world, and yet all you wished for is money and women? :'''Harv Hickman''': What else is there? <hr width="50%"/> :''[chatting up the two models at the Hickman Mansion]'' :'''Flash''': Superman? Yeah, he's a close personal friend... <hr width="50%"/> :''[Diana bursts into the grotto]'' :'''Wonder Woman''': Morgaine's here! :''[A giant worm rears up behind them]'' :'''Flash''': Yeah, I kind of gathered that. <hr width="50%"/> :''[After Morgaine le Fey successfully uses the Martian Manhunter to steal the Stone from the Watchtower]'' :'''Etrigan''': You ''stupid'', ignorant, pathetic excuses for heroes! :'''Wonder Woman''': It can't be.... :'''Etrigan''': Oh, really, your highness?! Take another look! I pursued that witch for centuries, and yet you've blindly ignored my warnings and doomed the world! :'''Wonder Woman''': Enough! ''[slaps him]'' :'''Etrigan''': ''[rubs jaw]'' The truth hurts, doesn't it, Princess? :'''Wonder Woman''': Why don't you go straight to- :'''Flash''': ''[rushing in]'' More bad news! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': ''[putting the Philosopher's Stone in the Watchtower vault]'' Ha. I'd like to see her try and get it now. :'''Etrigan''': Be careful what you wish for, little man. :'''Flash''': Well, aren't you a ray of sunshine? As far as I'm concerned, this mission's over. The world's safe again and I for one am gonna kick back. So go find some other house to haunt! ''[leaves]'' :'''Wonder Woman''': He didn't mean that. :'''Etrigan''': Do you think I care? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': ''[After teleporting through dimensions]'' Ding! Fifth floor, hardware, sporting goods, evil sorceresses! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': Flash is right. There's something unsettling about your friend. When he stares, it's like he's looking into my very soul. :'''Batman''': True. But I'd rather have him with us than against us. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Modred''': Get out of my castle! ''[Fires blasts at Flash and Wonder Woman]'' :'''Flash''': Whoa, the kid's got chops too. :'''Wonder Woman''': The rotten apple doesn't fall far from the tree. ===''Metamorphosis'' [1.22-23]=== :'''Oil Driller''': 870 feet. We drill much deeper, and we'll hit New Zealand. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Metamorpho|Rex Mason]]''': Still in uniform, I see - though it's not exactly standard Marine corps issue. :'''Green Lantern''': I signed up with a new unit. :'''Rex Mason''': So I heard. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Rex Mason''': Working for an outfit like Stagg Enterprises does have its perks.. :'''John Stewart''': No kidding. :'''Rex Mason''': But so must wearing that ring. A big hero like you makes a fortune on the side, right? :'''John Stewart''': Mmm... it doesn't work like that. I've hardly got more than the clothes on my back. :'''Sapphire Stagg''': ''[appearing]'' Well then, we simply must take you shopping. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': I've never thought much about the choices I've made. Maybe if I'd taken the other road, I'd be where Mason is now. Rich, successful... :'''Hawkgirl''': ''[wryly]'' And engaged to a beautiful woman? :''[He grins at her]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Bank Robber''': ''[riding in armored car, sees Justice League]'' Uh-oh. Long-Johns at 10:00. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Sapphire Stagg''': No wonder he always looked up to you. :'''John Stewart''': Me? He's the one who had it made. :'''Sapphire Stagg''': No. He watches you on the news all the time. He still misses it—being in action, saving people's lives. I think he'd trade places with you in a minute. ===''The Savage Time'' [1.24-26]=== :'''Superman''': Prepare the landing bay. We’re coming in. :'''Batman''': Just when I was starting to enjoy the peace and quiet. :'''Superman''': Same old Bats. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Stormtrooper''': You heard me?! Let's see your identity papers. Now! :'''Flash''': Sorry, but my identity's a secret. Chicks dig that whole "man of mystery" thing. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Bats, you're starting to scare me. :'''Alternate Batman''': I scare a lot of people. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Alternate Batman''': The resistance might be able to use you, but you're going to have to prove we can trust you. :'''Green Lantern''': Are you kidding? You've known us for years! :''[Bruce takes a gun from one of his soldiers and points it at Lantern's face without a flicker of expression]'' :'''Alternate Batman''': You must have me confused with someone else. <hr width="50%"/> :''[On a speeding train, the League are all thrown into a pile]'' :'''Hawkgirl''': Whose hand is that? :'''Flash''': Sorry. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Martian Manhunter''': You understand that if we do change the past, you - this version of you - will never have existed? :'''Alternate Batman''': Nothing would make me happier. <hr width="50%"/> :''[The League arrives in the past, in the German-occupied France]'' :'''Flash''': Great Jumpin' Hera! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': ''[about the Blackhawks]'' Friends of yours? :'''Hawkgirl''': They are now. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Vandal Savage|Vandal Savage]]''': ''[seeing Martian Manhunter]'' Who would have thought the [[w:Übermensch|Übermensch]] would be green? :'''Martian Manhunter''': Übermensch? :'''Vandal Savage''': The superior man. Those destined to lead the world. :'''Martian Manhunter''': I thought that was your goal. :'''Vandal Savage''': My only desire is peace, progress, unity... :'''Martian Manhunter''': With you in charge, of course. :'''Vandal Savage''': Why not? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Vandal Savage''': I'm not from the future... ''[gestures to a laptop computer]'' but this is. Sixty years from now, it will be a child's toy. But today, it's the most powerful weapon on Earth. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Martian Manhunter''': ''[observing the recording of Vandal Savage's future self]'' You age gracefully. :'''Vandal Savage''': You have no idea. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Vandal Savage''': Knowing the future, how can I not succeed? :'''Martian Manhunter''': I've seen your future. It doesn't work. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': You're a strange one, Steve Trevor. You have no special powers, yet you're willing to risk your life here. Aren't you afraid of dying? :'''[[w:Steve Trevor|Steve Trevor]]''': Some things are worth dying for, Angel. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': I've got a plane to catch! :'''[[w:Sgt. Rock|Sgt. Rock]]''': You can't stop 'em single-handed! :'''Green Lantern''': Watch me! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': You're not going anywhere! :'''Vandal Savage''': You think you can kill me? You're welcome to try. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': Say your prayers, Savage! :'''Vandal Savage''': A god doesn't grovel. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': What took you? :'''Hawkgirl''': I had to fix my hair. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': Batman! It’s really you! ''[hugs him]'' :'''Batman''': ''[awkwardly]''...Am I missing something? :'''Superman''': Sorry, it’s just that... well, it’s a long story. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Wonder Woman goes to visit an elderly Steve Trevor]'' :'''Wonder Woman''': Steve? :'''Steve Trevor''': ''[smiling]'' Angel. ==Season 2== ===''Twilight'' [2.1-2]=== :'''Martian Manhunter''': I was just thinking... you, me, Wonder Woman, Superman - we are all of us orphans and exiles. :'''Hawkgirl''': Maybe we should call ourselves the "Just Us League." <hr width="50%"/> :'''Desaad''': You knew going into that sector was a violation of our treaty with New Genesis. :'''Darkseid''': It was a calculated risk. You have served me well, General. Take as many of them with you as you can. :'''Steppenwolf''': ''[stares for a second then bows]'' As you command, my lord. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Highfather''': We know of your mad ambitions, Darkseid. This is your final warning: break the treaty again and you will be destroyed. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Desaad''': It was a fool's errand. ''[Darkseid is angered]'' Uh, what I mean to say is... :'''Darkseid''': No one questions me, Desaad. ''[Darkseid vaporizes Desaad]'' No one. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Kalibak''': Father! Father, do you see?! :'''Darkseid''': Be still, fool. I'm not blind. :'''Kalibak''': But what is it? :'''Darkseid''': It's death. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Darkseid''': Even as we speak, Apokolips is being assimilated by the Kryptonian menace known as Brainiac. :'''Superman''': You're lying. [[Superman: The Animated Series#Knight Time|I destroyed him.]] :'''Darkseid''': Apparently, he is harder to kill than you realized. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Darkseid informs Superman that Brainiac is still alive and is now attacking [[w:Apokolips|Apokolips]]]'' :'''[[w:Darkseid|Darkseid]]''': You know his pattern, Kal-El. Once he's finished siphoning the memory banks and technology of my planet... :'''Superman''': He'll annihilate it. Good. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hawkgirl''': So what are you saying? You'd sacrifice millions of lives just because you don't like this guy? :'''Superman''': You don't know Darkseid like I do. :'''Batman''': [[Superman: The Animated Series#Legacy|We know he used you, humiliated you, brainwashed you, wound you up like a tin soldier and turned you loose against Earth. ''[Gets right up in Superman's face]'' Cry me a river.]] On the outside chance that this isn't one of his schemes, we have to take action - so I suggest you get over it. :'''Martian Manhunter''': Brainiac has already destroyed countless civilizations, and now he threatens another. Do you want this to be the legacy of your people? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': Let me get this straight: Orion is Darkseid's own son? :'''Batman''': New Genesis and Apokolips have been at war for centuries. Apparently, Darkseid and Highfather exchanged sons as part of some kind of peace treaty... ''[Wonder Woman looks at Batman]'' Sounds wacky to me, too. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': Who are you? :'''Forager''': They call me [[w:Forager (comics)|Forager]]. :'''Batman''': Do you know someone named [[w:Orion (comics)|Orion]]? :'''Forager''': Orion! I am just an unworthy Bug; Orion is a god who is far above us. :'''Wonder Woman''': You're too modest. You've shown courage, compassion... :'''Forager''' : No, no, you don't understand! All the gods are far above us. ''[Points up into the sky towards [[w:New Genesis|Supertown]]]'' :'''Batman''': I'm gonna need a longer grapple. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Brainiac (comics)|Brainiac]]''': Welcome, Kal-El. Once I offered you the chance to join me in carrying on the legacy of Krypton. Today, I renew that offer. :'''Superman''': You must be joking. :'''Brainiac''': Why do you reject your great heritage? The entire history of your planet, its knowledge and splendor, its awe and mystery are encoded within me. :'''Hawkgirl''': Superman, don't- :''[Superman stops her]'' :'''Brainiac''': I ''am'' Krypton. :'''Superman''': You're a perversion, dishonoring the very memory of my father and all my people. :'''Brainiac''': And this is your final decision? :'''Superman''': Read my lips: Go. To- ''[Brainiac cuts him off]'' :'''Brainiac''': Unfortunate - but predictable. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Highfather|Highfather]]''': It's hard, isn't it? But we must lovingly tend our garden if we want it to grow strong and tall. :'''Sera''': I hate this. :'''Highfather''': What's wrong, child? :'''Sera''': I've tried, Highfather, really I have, but look! ''[Gestures to the small rosebush she's laboring over]'' :'''Highfather''': Patience, my dear. Everything has a purpose, and a place. :'''Sera''': Everything? ''[Flicks a large caterpillar off of a leaf]'' :'''Highfather''': Given time. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': ''[to Diana]'' Next time I let Superman take charge, just hit me. Real hard. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Brainiac''': You deceived me, Darkseid. Used me. :'''Darkseid''': It's what I do. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Darkseid''': ''[to Superman]'' You of all people should know that the universe is filled with chaos, confusion and uncertainty. I will tear it down to nothing, and then rebuild it, bringing order and discipline at last. Think of it, Superman - a new universe created in ''my'' image. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Martian Manhunter is using one of Brainiac's bodies as a shield as he uses the body's arm to shoot at the others.]'' :'''Batman''': Having fun? :'''Martian Manhunter''': Yes. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Darkseid''': I'm glad to see growing up with Highfather hasn't made you soft and weak. You make an old man proud. But I won't let you or anyone else stand in my way! ''[Darkseid bearhugs Orion into unconsciousness]'' Spare the rod... <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': Any minute now, Brainiac will explode. And guess what? You're going with him. ''[Darkseid reaches for Orion's Mother Box but Superman destroys it with his heat vision]'' No, Darkseid. To get off this rock, you'll have to go through me. :'''Darkseid''': You really are a glutton for punishment. Time and again, I've beaten you, humbled you. What makes you think today's outcome will be any different? :'''Superman''': Because this time, I won't stop until you're just a greasy smear on my fist. Let's go. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Darkseid''': This is where you belong, Superman, under my heel! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': Wait! Where is Superman? :'''Batman''': That idiot! ''[to others]'' I'll get him. The rest of you take off. Now! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Darkseid''': ''[Trapped on an exploding asteroid after Batman forces Superman to abandon their fight]'' Loser. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Superman watches the destroyed asteroids in the sky. Batman comes to him]'' :'''Batman''': Nothing could have survived that. Not even Darkseid. :'''Superman''': You know something, Bruce? ''[turns to Batman and walks right up in his face]'' You're ''not'' always right. ===''Tabula Rasa'' [2.3-4]=== :'''Wonder Woman''': Hera help us! :'''Green Lantern''': She'd better - no one else can. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Lex Luthor''': Help me. I'm... :'''Mercy Graves''': Sick... dying... and you couldn't do it somewhere else? <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Amazo|Amazo]]''': ''[upon scanning Batman]'' You don't have any powers. :'''Batman''': I have this. ''[Pulls out piece of kryptonite. Amazo begins to suffer its effects.]'' It's a package deal. You get our powers, but you get our weaknesses too. :''[Amazo jumps off the building into the sewer.]'' :'''Hawkgirl''': You always carry a piece of kryptonite with you? :'''Batman''': Call it insurance. :'''Hawkgirl''': And they say ''I'm'' scary. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Martian Manhunter lands in front of Amazo]'' :'''Lex Luthor''': You know what to do! :'''Martian Manhunter''': ''[calmly]'' Yes. You know. :''[Amazo scans J'onn and gains his abilities]'' :'''Lex Luthor''': Nothing can stop you now! You have all their powers! :'''Martian Manhunter''': Use them well. :''[Amazo reads Lex's mind, and realizes that he's been lied to.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': I say we let 'em waste each other. :'''Hawkgirl''': Since when do we do what ''you'' say? :'''Amazo''': So small, all of you. And so meaningless. There's nothing I want from you anymore. None of you has anything to offer me now. :''[Amazo flies into space]'' :'''Wonder Woman''': Where did he go? :'''Martian Manhunter''': Where gods belong. :'''[[w: Lex Luthor|Lex Luthor]]''': Oh stop. He's just a machine. I don't care how much power he has, he's no god. :'''Superman''': Then why do I have a feeling that if he ever comes back, you're going to be doing a lot of praying? :'''Martian Manhunter''': Perhaps we'll all be praying. ===''Only A Dream'' [2.5-6]=== :'''John Dee''': And I thought I'd actually have to break a sweat! :'''Superman''': ''[Flying in]'' I'll be doing the breaking around here! :'''John Dee''': ''[Transforms into a giant and crushes him between his hands]'' Yes. You break very nicely. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Police Officer''': Hold it right there, Grundy! This is as far as you go! :''[Grundy lifts a dumpster.]'' :'''[[w:Copperhead (DC Comics)|Copperhead]]''': Are you crazy?! :'''Grundy''': No, MAD! :'''Copperhead''': I'm SO dead... <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Say no more. :'''Batman''': I wasn't intending to. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': What were you working on? :'''Martian Manhunter''': Nothing. I was taking a nap. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Copperhead''': ''[jumps onto Hawkgirl's back]'' You're flying me outta here now, lady! :''[Hawkgirl flies straight up into the air, then stops]'' :'''Copperhead''': Well? Get me outta here! :'''Hawkgirl''': And what if I don't? :'''Copperhead''': ''[flicks his tongue]'' I give you your last kiss... :'''Hawkgirl''': And ''you'' fall forty stories. :''[Copperhead looks down in terror]'' :'''Hawkgirl''': ''[smiles]'' Didn't really think this through, did you? <hr width="50%"/> :''[Grundy crashes after a huge fall]'' :'''Hawkgirl''': ''[to Copperhead (who's still clinging to her)]'' He'll live. You won't. :'''Copperhead''': I'm not scared! :'''Green Lantern''': Then maybe this'll help: you do anything to her, and you won't even make it to the ground. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': Good bluff. :'''Hawkgirl''': Who was bluffing? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': Look, whatever he is, he's sure not in the same league as Grundy and the others. He's a nobody. :'''Batman''': Ever read the Odyssey? After Odysseus was caught by the cyclops, he told it his name was "Nobody". So when he poked its eye out and its friends asked who did it, all the cyclops could say was "nobody". :'''Green Lantern''': Point taken. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Child''': That was some sweet banter, Uncle Flash, but what's a cur? :'''Flash''': It's... a bad person! I guess... :'''Child''': OK... So why didn't you just say that? :'''Flash''': Well, I... :'''Child''': And do people really talk so much when they fight? :'''Flash''': I, uh... Hey! How'd you like a snack? <hr width="50%"/> :''[After Flash opens the fridge, finding a huge frog inside]'' :'''Child''': Where's my food? :'''The Flash''': Are you French? :'''Child''': No. :'''The Flash''': Then there's no food. :'''Child''': You'll do. ''[Boy bites The Flash's left leg]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': Don't worry. I'm used to late hours. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': ''[Barging into a coffee shop; slams some cash on the counter]'' Give me a triple. Now! <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Doctor Destiny|Doctor Destiny]]''': Coming here was the mistake of your life. See, the closer I am to someone, the stronger I get. I'll be able to go in your brain, even if you're wide awake. :'''Batman''': My brain's not a nice place to be. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Doctor Destiny''': What's that stupid song going through your mind?! :'''Batman''': It's what's keeping you out, Johnny. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Doctor Destiny''': You know, I could let you go. You're a distraction now. And it's the others who have the real problems. We're like insects to them. They step on us, ruin our lives, and they don't even realize it. But you're different. You don't have any special powers. :'''Batman''': Oh, I have one, Johnny: I never give up. ''[Batman starts humming the 'Frere Jacques' tune]'' ===''Maid Of Honor'' [2.7-8]=== :''[Wonder Woman has been swamped by admiring men, all eagerly asking questions about her famous battles.]'' :'''Bruce Wayne''': ''[offering his hand]'' May I have this dance? :'''Princess Diana''': ''[seizing the escape]'' Yes! ''[He leads her to the dance floor.]'' Thank you, Mr...? :'''Bruce Wayne''': [[James Bond|Wayne. Bruce Wayne]]. :'''Princess Diana''': I appreciate the rescue. :'''Bruce Wayne''': I'm surprised to see you here. From what I've heard, this isn't really your sort of affair. :'''Princess Diana''': I've decided to get out more, have a little fun. :'''Bruce Wayne''': ''[twirls her]'' Enjoying yourself so far? :'''Princess Diana''': More than I expected. How about you? What brings you to [[wikipedia:Paris|The City Of Lights]]? :'''Bruce Wayne''': I never miss a good party. I may also have to attend to some business while I'm in town. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Princess Audrey''': Stay back! You can't approach without my permission! :'''Militant Kaznian Dissident''': ''[points a gun at her]'' Permission, yes? <hr width="50%"/> :''[the roof breaks as Kazian revolutionaries slide into the room on cables.]'' :'''Bruce Wayne/Diana''': ''[simultaneously]'' Excuse me. :''[Bruce starts to hurry away, loosening his tie, but seeing Diana dive into the fight, he re-adjusts it and meanders through the room, dodging the Kaznians that Wonder Woman throws, nibbling on appetizers.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': Who are you working for? :'''Thief''': ''[in Kaznian]'' You can't understand a word I'm saying and I wouldn't tell you anything if you could. :'''Batman''': ''[in Kaznian]'' I can... ''[advances on him menacingly]'' ...and you will. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Princess Audrey''': ''[being hounded by paparazzi]'' Would you be a dear and pummel them mercilessly? :'''Princess Diana''': ''[lifts her into the air]'' I don't think that'll be necessary. ''[flies away]'' :'''Princess Audrey''': WHOO-HOO! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Princess Audrey''': Don't worry - I won't tell anyone that our great hero has feet of clay. :'''Princess Diana''': You have no idea. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': You're keeping late hours. :'''Diana''': You should talk. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Colonel Vox''': Apparently you didn't get the message. Let me make it loud and clear! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Princess Audrey''': Vandal, what do you think you are doing? :'''Vandal Savage''': ''[counting on his fingers]'' Destroying the Justice League, building a railgun, assuming total dominion over the nations of the earth... <hr width="50%"/> :''[J'onn, Flash, Lantern, and the crew leave the space station]'' :'''Flash''': Hey, we can't just leave, what's to stop somebody else from taking control of that thing. :''[the space station explodes]'' :'''Green Lantern''': That. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': ''[dismissively]'' You're in my way. ''[Hits Vandal Savage with a chair, keeps running past him]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': You know, we never did get to finish our dance. :'''Batman''': ''[showing no reaction]'' I don't know what you're talking about. :'''Wonder Woman''': If you say so. ''[takes his arm]'' But you're still taking me dancing. ===''Hearts And Minds'' [2.9-10]=== :''[in the Watchtower infirmary]'' :'''Flash''': Lucky for The Big K we've got Martian care on our League HMO. :'''Martian Manhunter''': Bolovax physiology is very similar to my own. :'''Hawkgirl''': And how much of this is guesswork? :'''Martian Manhunter''': I would rather not say. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': And what about this Katma Tui? :'''[[w:Kilowog|Kilowog]]''': I'm not sure what happened to her. She was the Green Lantern who trained John. :'''Hawkgirl''': They must have been close. :'''Kilowog''': Very close. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Flash and Kilowog check John's apartment for his power battery; Flash searches the fridge]'' :'''Flash''': Aha, I knew it! Johnny does have a kink in his armor. Bob and Terry's. :''[offers Kilowog ice cream; he eats it, container and all]'' :'''Kilowog''': Delicious! :'''Flash''': Riiight. Stick with me big guy, I'll open up a whole new world for you. ''[Runs over to TV]'' Hey, check this out! People's exhibit B; [[w:Old Yeller (1957 film)|''Old Yeller]'']. :''[Shows Kilowog the videocassette; he eats it.]'' :'''Kilowog''': Delicious! <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Despero|Despero]]''': Feel the power of my rage! Feel the power of my ''hate!'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Ah, you must be the mystery woman. :'''Katma Tui''': And you must be? :'''Flash''': Delighted to meet you. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Katma Tui|Katma Tui]]''': So, do you still snore? :'''Green Lantern''': I wouldn't know. :'''Katma Tui''': Well, I'd like to stay and relive old times, but...it's the same drill as before. :'''Green Lantern''': Duty calls. :'''Katma Tui''': Duty calls. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Despero''': Go! The conquest begins now! Emblazon my word and will across the cosmos! <hr width="50%"/> :''[John discovers he can no longer use his ring properly]'' :'''Katma Tui''': Then we start over. I trained you once, I can do it again. :'''Green Lantern''': Back to basics? I don't think so. :'''Katma Tui''': The problem with half the Corps, you included, is that once you learn to use your rings like jackhammers, you forget the subtleties of manipulation and control! :'''Green Lantern''': I know, I know - "the mind is the weapon, not the metal." :'''Katma Tui''': At least you remember that much. It's time to relearn what you've learned. :'''Green Lantern''': Now you sound like [[w:Yoda|Yoda]]. :'''Katma Tui''': Look, you have two choices: let me help you retune your mental disciplines, or you can live with your emerald impotence. :''[Flash walks by at the last word]'' :'''Flash''': Impotence? ''[John and Katma look at him]'' Right...I-I was just goin' over there... :''[Speeds off]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Hawkgirl and Katma Tui watch John arming himself with guns]'': :'''Katma Tui''': I'm afraid he's finished. When this mission is over, we'll have to recall [[w:Kyle Rayner|Rayner]] to takeover John's sector. :'''Hawkgirl''': Just like that? :'''Katma Tui''': He's given up on himself. :'''Hakwgirl''': He's not the only one. But I guess that's what happens when a toy loses its luster. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Hawkgirl walks over to John]'': :'''Hawkgirl''': Are you going to need all those power cells? :'''Green Lantern''': If that's what it takes. I can still pull my weight, you know. There's more to me than just a fancy ring. :'''Hawkgirl''': I've always known that, John. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Despero''': ''[After binding Katma to the power of Py'tar]'' Now, who's next? ''[He goes over to Hawkgirl]'' :'''Green Lantern''': Keep away from her! :'''Despero''': The wings give her an exotic quality, wouldn't you agree? I don't think I'll put her in the army. I have just the place for her. As one of my personal attendants. :'''Green Lantern''': Don't even think about it. <hr width="50%"/> :''[J'onn rises from the white flame possessed by Py'tar with three eyes]'': :'''Flash''': Okay, we are officially spooked here. :'''Py'tar''': Hear me, o children of Kalanor. Behold, I am the Py'tar, the living soul of this planet. Despero is a great deceiver. He has misused my power for his own petty ends. I say unto thee the Py'tar is not a source of hatred, but a beacon of hope. In times gone by, Kalanor was a paradise. It can be again. But thou must reject the dark ways of Despero and step into the light. The choice is thine. ===''A Better World'' [2.11-12]=== :''[The Justice League is attacking the White House, with Luthor in the Oval Office]'' :'''President Luthor''': ''[to himself]'' They couldn't see the beauty! No imagination! They'd rather fight! :''[Superman bursts into the office]'' :'''Lord Superman''': Even this wasn't enough for you, was it? You had to have it all. Now we're on the brink of a war that could destroy the whole planet! :'''President Luthor''': Could've been so perfect... paradise... :'''Lord Superman''': And I let it get this far because of the law. And the will of the ''people.'' :'''President Luthor''': ''[laughing]'' The ''people?!'' This is all their fault! And they're gonna burn for it! ''Burn!'' :'''Lord Superman''': You're nothing but a mad dog now, aren't you? :'''President Luthor''': Ooh, a threat! But this old dog still has a few teeth! :''[Pulls out a drawer with a control box, and poises his finger above a red button. There is a pause.]'' :'''Lord Superman''': There are at least six different ways I can stop you right now. :'''President Luthor''': But they all involve deadly force, don't they? And you don't do that. ''[Superman is silent]'' No. You ''need'' me. You wouldn't be much of a hero without a villain, and you ''do'' love being a hero, don't you? The cheering children, the swooning women - you love it so much, it's made you my most reliable accomplice! :'''Lord Superman''': Accomplice?! What're you- :'''President Luthor''': You could have crushed me any time you wanted. And it wasn't the law or the will of the people that stopped you - it was your ego. Being a hero was too important to you. You're as much responsible for this as I am! So go ahead. Fix it somehow, put me on trial, lock me up - but I'll beat it. And then we'll start the whole thing all over again. :'''Lord Superman''': ...I did love being a hero. But if this is where it leads... I'm done with it. ''[eyes glow red]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Lord Green Lantern and Lord Hawkgirl arrive at the college protest]'' :'''Lord Green Lantern''': Punks. :'''Lord Hawkgirl''': Remember when everyone liked us? :'''Lord Green Lantern''': Since when does that matter to you? :'''Lord Hawkgirl''': Since I started seeing the fear on everyone's face. :'''Lord Green Lantern''': You wanna talk about fear? When I was a kid, I went to bed every night scared that the whole world was gonna blow up. That's the way things were back then, and folks just accepted it. They didn't think there could be a better way. Well, we found one. :'''Lord Hawkgirl''': So, do you sleep better now? :'''Lord Green Lantern''': You know I do. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Lord Superman eating soup with Lois Lane at her Apartment]'' :'''Lord Superman''': Cold. :'''Lois Lane''': It's Gazpacho, it's supposed to be. :'''Lord Superman''': I wasn't talking about the soup. You gonna tell me what's wrong? :'''Lois Lane''': After 2 years, you don't know? :'''Lord Superman''': Here we go. :'''Lois Lane''': The world's on permanent lockdown, free speech is all but dead, and you don't know what's wrong? :'''Lord Superman''': Lois, we've been over this a thousand times. Why can't you see the bigger picture? :'''Lois Lane''': I can see just fine, thank you. ''You're'' the one who can't see where this is leading. :'''Lord Superman''': Lois, we're doing everything we can to- ''[Lord Superman's Comlink beeps]'' Just a sec. Yeah? :'''Lois Lane''': Go ahead, finish. You're doing everything you can to what, make sure everyone bows down, and worship you? Is that it? :'''Lord Superman''': That's not what we want! Can't you just listen for a second?! :'''Lord Batman''': Ah, love. Sorry to interrupt, but I need to see you and the others. :'''Lord Superman''': I'm busy. :'''Lord Batman''': Now. :'''Lord Superman''': I gotta go. :'''Lois Lane''': We're not done with this. :'''Lord Superman''': I know. Believe me, I know. :'''Lois Lane''': You can't just write me off, like-like I'm some kind of hysterical- ''[Lois tries to follow Lord Superman out the door but is stopped by two Police Officers ]'' :'''Police Officer A''': Sorry, Ms. Lane. But you know the rules: No leaving the premises, no unauthorized guests, no phone calls. :'''Lois Lane''': Can't speak my mind, can't think. :'''Police Officer B''': It's only temporary, ma'am. They gave us their word. :'''Lois Lane''': Sucker. ''[Closes the door]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': ''[Referring to the Justice Lords' Martian Manhunter]'' Have you read his mind yet? :'''Martian Manhunter''': Martians don't do that to one another. :'''Batman''': Can't? Or won't? :'''Martian Manhunter''': Both. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': You've thought of everything. :'''Lord Batman''': No. Just everything you'll ever think of. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Batman is imprisoned; The Flash rapidly pushes buttons on a nearby control panel.]'' :'''Batman''': What are you doing? :'''The Flash''': Trying every possible combination. :'''Batman''': 9-1-9-3-9. ''[Date that the first Batman comic was published in Detective Comics]'' :''[Flash pauses, then punches it in, opening the door.]'' :'''Flash''': How'd you know? :'''Batman''': They're the numbers I use. How did you get out? :'''Flash''': I sped up my heart until it looked like it flat-lined. :'''Batman''': I didn't know you could do that. :'''Flash''': Neither did I, but I had to come up with something if you weren't going to. :'''Batman''': I couldn't - not with him anticipating everything I could ever think of. But who could anticipate ''you''? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Lord Batman''': What are you hiding for? :'''Batman''': I do my best work in the dark. :'''Lord Batman''': I used to think that too. But what have you ever accomplished from there? Aside from scaring a few punks half to death and putting a few more in jail? :'''Batman''': It all adds up. :'''Lord Batman''': Not fast enough. '''If you really want to make a difference, if you want to change the system instead of just patching it, you can't be subtle. You've got to step into the sunlight. Take over, like we did.''' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Lord Batman''': Think about it - a world where there's no crime, no victims, no pain. :'''Batman''': ''And'' no choice! Who elected you, anyway?! :'''Lord Batman''': Who elected ''you?'' The problem with democracy is, it doesn't keep you very safe. :'''Batman''': It has other virtues. But you seem to have forgotten them. :'''Lord Batman''': ''I'' didn't forget! I just chose peace and security instead. :'''Batman''': '''''You grabbed power!''''' :'''Lord Batman''': And ''with'' that power, we've made a world where no eight-year-old boy will ''ever'' lose his parents...because of [[w:Joe Chill| some punk with a gun]]! :'''Batman''': ''[pauses, then drops his Batarang]'' You win. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': They're as strong as we are and just as smart, but they're willing to kill. :'''Superman''': '''What are you saying - that we have to be willing to kill too? I won't cross that line.''' :'''Batman''': How else can we stop them? :'''Superman''': You're the smart one. You figure it out. :'''Batman''': We can't do it. Not unless we cross ''some'' kind of line. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Wow, Supes, you really know how to bring down the house! ''[Justice Lord Superman picks Flash up and raises his fist but then hesitates]'' Can't do it, can you? I'm the last piece of your conscience, and this is the one thing you'll never do. :'''Lord Superman''': '''I've done a lot of things I thought I'd never do these past two years. One more won't hurt.''' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Lex Luthor''': ''[aiming a weapon]'' This would be so sweet. ''[hands it to Superman]'' But... a deal's a deal. :'''Green Lantern''': What deal? :'''Superman''': A full pardon in exchange for his help. :'''Lord Superman''': Everything he does from now on is your fault! :'''Superman''': It's a high price - but it's better than the alternative. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Lex Luthor gives an interview after his pardon]'' :'''Lex Luthor''':...but I can't take full credit. I never would have been able to reconfigure the Disruptor without Superman's high-speed assistance. :'''Reporter 1''': Where is it now? :'''Lex Luthor''': I believe Superman has it. That was part of our arrangement. :'''Reporter 2''': Where do you go from here? Back to running LexCorp? :'''Lex Luthor''': Oh, the business-world doesn't seem as challenging as it used to. And there's no poetry in it either. I have been giving some thought to...''politics''. ===''Eclipsed'' [2.13-14]=== :'''Green Lantern''': ''[to Flash]'' Why do you need a van? Wait - don't answer that; I ''don't'' wanna know. <hr width="50%"/> :''[The Flash makes a surprise appearance on Gordon Godfrey's TV show]'' :'''[[w:Glorious Godfrey|Glorious Godfrey]]''': Ladies and gentlemen, it seems we have an unexpected guest. Not that we should be surprised. I mean, you're a superhero. You don't have to wait for an invitation. You go where you want, when you want. Right? :'''Flash''': Yeah, but... we're the good guys! :'''Glorious Godfrey''': Of course you are! And I'm sure you can account for the fact that since your so-called 'Justice League' formed, white-collar crime is up three percent! :'''Flash''': White-collar? That's not really our... :'''Glorious Godfrey''': Or maybe you'd care to explain why, on your watch, fifty percent of marriages now end in divorce... ''and the other fifty percent in death!'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': This bites! Your commercial's stupid, you're a no-talent hack and your doughnuts are stale! I'm outta here fast, fast, fast! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Glorious Godfrey''': Role models? Look, I've seen showgirls with more modesty than this so-called "Wonder Woman". :''[Wonder Woman smashes the TV screen with her fist]'' :'''Wonder Woman''': I will not tolerate this! :'''Green Lantern''': Princess, I don't like Godfrey anymore than you do, but in this country, the man's entitled to his opinion. However boneheaded it is. :'''Flash''': Democracy in action. Hey, didn't the Greeks invent that? :''[Wonder Woman walks over to the window and looks at her outfit]'' :'''Wonder Woman''': And what's wrong with the way I dress?! :'''Flash''':''[carefully]'' Uh... you wanna take that? <hr width="50%"/> :'''The Flash''': Where do these nuts come from? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': He torched the sewers. :'''Flash''': ''[Grinning]'' I was wondering what that smell was. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Flash and Green Lantern looking after an unconscious Wonder Woman]'' :'''Flash''': She doesn't look so hot. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Let's say I believe you, how do we stop it - uh, them? :'''Mophir''': Two ways. Pure light from Mophir's gem drives spirits back into Heart of Darkness. :'''Flash''': Great. What's the second way? :'''Mophir''': Separate host's head from body. :'''Flash''': ... Bummer. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': ''[possessed]'' You've lost, human. :'''Flash''': Maybe you're right. Maybe it is hopeless. But like Granny Flash used to say: "Why curse the dark, when you can light up a 700,000 watt candle!" <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': How can we stop it? :'''Martian Manhunter''': There is one possibility. To halt the process we would need to create an Einstein-Rosen Bridge to drain off the affecting anti-fusion matter. :'''Flash''': Create a what to do what? :'''Hawkgirl''': Make a wormhole to suck away the bad stuff. :'''Flash''': Oh. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': Bring home the gold, hotshot. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hawkgirl''': ''[on audio]'' Lantern, is he...? :'''Green Lantern''': He's in one piece. I think he's alright. ''[to an unconscious Flash]'' You hear me, buddy? You better be alright! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': ''[dreaming]'' Oh... Swirly lights... fuzzy grilled cheese... ''[wakes up]'' Huh? What happened? :'''Wonder Woman''': Flash, you did it! :'''Superman''': You saved everyone today. :'''Wonder Woman''': How are you feeling? :'''Flash''': Actually, kind of faint! ''[to Wonder Woman]'' I think I need some mouth-to-mouth. :'''Hawkgirl''': ''[quickly]'' He's fine. ===''The Terror Beyond'' [2.15-16]=== :'''Superman''': That went well. :'''Hawkgirl''': What, you expected her to confess to an act of war? :'''Wonder Woman''': She's royalty. You were needlessly disrespectful. :'''Hawkgirl''': Standard interrogation technique. I was bad cop. :'''Superman''': You're always bad cop. :'''Hawkgirl''': Why play against type? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Aquaman''': Do you realize what you've done?! Leave here, now! :'''Superman''': Not without Grundy, and a good explanation. :'''Doctor Fate''': You've ruined everything! Aquaman, stop them! I'll try to improvise something, but I must be allowed to concentrate! :'''Solomon Grundy''': Go away! Superman always takes everything from Grundy! But not this time! This time, Grundy crush! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Solomon Grundy''': Bird-nose help Grundy? But Bird-nose and her friends hate Grundy. :'''Hawkgirl''': Grundy help Bird-nose, Bird-nose help Grundy, okay? Excuse me, Hawkgirl smash. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Doctor Fate''': Be on your guard. :'''Icthultu''': Speak not until spoken to, dust mote. :'''Hawkgirl''': Okay, that was just rude. :'''Icthultu''': Wind mote. Who are you? :'''Hawkgirl''': Shayera Hol. Hawkgirl. :'''Icthultu''': You have the stench of the Thanagarians upon you. :'''Hawkgirl''': Says the giant squid. :'''Icthultu''': Definitely Thanagarian. I will speak to the Hawkgirl before I destroy her. You others are of no interest. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Icthultu''': Speak to me, child of Thanagar. :'''Hawkgirl''': Nothing to say. I've got [[w:flipping the bird|a gesture]] for you, but my hands are tied. :'''Icthultu''': How I've missed your people's spirit. :'''Hawkgirl''': We don't miss you. We outgrew you, thousands of years ago! :'''Icthultu''': I gave your people everything. Why did you forsake me? :'''Hawkgirl''': Forsake?! We threw you out! The price for your favours was too high. :'''Icthultu''': My tribute was equitable. I earned your faith. :'''Hawkgirl''': Really? What's a fair price for the souls of my ancestors?! :'''Solomon Grundy''': ''[overhearing]'' Snake-face steal souls? Give Grundy back his soul, Snake-face, or Grundy crush! <hr width="50%"/> :''[Shayera is poised to finish off the evil Icthultu.]'' :'''Icthultu''': You will not do this thing, Shayera Hol of Thanagar. Icthultu still has faith in you. :'''Hawkgirl''': So do I. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Solomon Grundy''': Grundy thinks he is going away now... :'''Hawkgirl''': No! Just hang on! :'''Solomon Grundy''': Do you think Grundy's soul is waiting for him? :'''Hawkgirl''': Grundy, I don't believe... ''[Grundy smiles gently and Hawkgirl smiles back tearfully]'' Yes, it's waiting for you.''' :'''Solomon Grundy''': Then... Grundy gets his reward. ''[dies]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hawkgirl''': He was happy at the end. I still don't understand why. :'''Aquaman''': It's [[faith]], Hawkgirl. You're not supposed to [[understand]] it. You just have it.''' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Grundy's epitaph]'' :'''Solomon Grundy. Born On A Monday'''. ===''Secret Society'' [2.17-18]=== :'''Shade''': Now I get it. You're trying to set up another Injustice Gang, aren't ya? :'''Giganta''': We call it a Society. A Secret Society. :'''Shade''': Call it what you want, it won't work. I know, I've tried. Twice! :'''Grodd''': What's that old saying? Third time's the charm. <hr width="50%"/> :''[during "practice"]'' :'''Flash''': ''[after Batman blows up a robot]'' Hey! That was my bad guy! :'''Batman''': ''[to Green Lantern]'' Happy? ''[walking away]'' Call me when it's important. And not before. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Clayface|Clayface]]''': What kind of a guy would lock somebody up and keep him as if he was property? :'''[[w:Killer Frost|Killer Frost]]''': Edge was sick, honey. But you don't have to worry about him anymore. ''[smiles darkly]'' Nobody has to. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': Always trying to find a cure, aren't you? :'''Clayface''': Can you blame me? :'''Batman''': No. But it's made you predictable. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Clayface''': You didn't think I'd come here without reinforcements, did ya? :'''Batman''': Wish I'd thought of that. ''[door blows in behind him, revealing the rest of the Justice League]'' Oh, wait. ''[smug grin]'' I ''did.'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Shade's Thug''': ''[being held upside down off a roof]'' Who do you think you are, Batman? :'''Flash''': It's been a long night. Just tell me where Shade is, okay? :'''Shade's Thug''': [[w:Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy|Look, buddy, I know Batman. I once ratted out a counterfeiter to Batman. And believe me, you are no Bat-]] ''[Flash drops him]'' -MAAAAAAAAAAANNNN! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': ''[standing over "unconscious" Sinestro]'' Looks like I didn't need you after all, yo. But you can help me tie him up. :'''Batman''': ...Catch. ''[shoots Flash in the chest with a grapple]'' The real Flash would've been too fast for that. ''[shocks him, revealing Clayface]'' :'''Clayface''': What gave me away? :'''Batman''': You overplayed your part, yo. :'''Grodd''': Everyone's a critic. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hawkgirl''': You don't care about me. :'''Green Lantern''': What are you talking about? I'd give my life for you! :''[awkward pause]'' :'''Hawkgirl''': You don't know what you're saying. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Giganta|Giganta]]''': ''[to Superman]'' Wouldn't hit a woman, would you? :'''Wonder Woman''': I would. ''[slams her down]'' ===''Hereafter'' [2.19-20]=== :''[Wonder Woman blocks a bolt of lightning from the [[w: Weather Wizard|Weather Wizard]] with her bracelets.]'' :'''The Flash''': There are ''so'' many reasons why that shouldn't have worked. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Kalibak|Kalibak]]''': I just flattened Wonder Woman! You really think you can beat me? :'''Batman''': I'm not trying to beat you. I'm trying to ''stall'' you. :'''Kalibak''': Stall me? For what? ''[Superman appears behind him]'' Aw- ''[gets punched in the face]'' :'''Superman''': For what it's worth, I don't think you could've taken Batman, either. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Superman has been apparently killed; Wonder Woman grabs Toyman.]'' :'''[[w: Toyman|Toyman]]''': What are you going to do to me? :'''[[w: Wonder Woman|Wonder Woman]]''': I'm gonna punch a hole in your head. :'''The Flash''': We don't do that to our enemies. :'''Wonder Woman''': Speak for yourself! :'''The Flash''': I'm trying to speak for Superman. :''[a grief-stricken Wonder Woman releases Toyman.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''The Flash''': I used to be able to goof around so much because I knew Superman had my back. Now all I've got is his example, and that's gonna have to be enough. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Alfred''': I'm afraid it's time, master Bruce. :'''Batman''': I'm not going to the funeral. :'''Alfred''': ''[surprised]'' Why? :'''Batman''': Because he's ''not'' dead. What tipped me off was the lack of evidence. :'''Alfred''': Sir? :'''Batman''': ''[showing the table of debris]'' I brought all this from the crime scene, and I've examined it every way I know how. :'''Alfred''': And you found? :'''Batman''': Absolutely nothing. No scorching, no residue, no radiation. Objects were here, then they were gone. :'''Alfred''': I'm afraid I don't understand. :'''Batman''': Matter can't be created or destroyed, just changed from one form into another. :'''Alfred''': As you say, sir. I believe I heard something about that when I attended grammar school. :'''Batman''': So unless the law of conservation of mass has been repealed, there's still hope. ''[As Toyman's weapon was technological, not magical, the laws of physics must apply.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Lex Luthor walks into Superman's funeral.]'' :'''[[w: Lois Lane|Lois Lane]]''': Luthor! How ''dare'' you show your face here! :'''Lex Luthor''': Lois, I- ''[Lois slaps him]'' :'''Lois Lane''': You've come to gloat! You've tried to get rid of him for years! Are you happy now? Isn't this what you've always wanted? I hate you! I HATE YOU! ... ''[breaks down into tears]'' :'''Lex Luthor''': ''[takes her into his arms]'' Believe it or not, I'm going to miss him, too. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Martian Manhunter''': Though we gather here today, bound together in sorrow and loss, we share a precious gift. We are, all of us, privileged to live a life that has been touched by Superman. The Man of Steel possessed many extraordinary gifts, and he shared them with us freely. None of these gifts were more remarkable than his ability to discern what needed to be done, and his unfailing courage in doing it, whatever the personal cost. Let us all strive to accept his gift, and pass it along, as an ongoing tribute to Kal-El of Krypton, the immigrant from the stars, who taught us all how to be heroes. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': I've got some things to say. I should've said them when you were here, but... Despite our differences, I have nothing but respect for you. I hope you knew... ''know'' that, you showed me that justice doesn't always have to come from the darkness. I'll miss... ''[something in the distance explodes]'' What did you always call it, Clark? The never ending battle? <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Lobo (DC Comics)|Lobo]]''': What's with all the long faces, Justice-Dweebs? It's like a wake in here. Lighten up! The answer to all your problems has arrived. Since we're gonna be workin' together, you can call me Lobo. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': Good instinct. His name's Lobo. He's a lowlife bounty hunter. :'''Lobo''': The Main Man happens to be the best bounty hunter in the known universe. You can ask Superman if he weren't busy pushing up daisies. :'''The Flash''': Hey, don't talk about him like that. Superman was our friend. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': You're no Superman. :'''Lobo''': The ladies say different. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Lobo''': You want an audition? C'mon, ladies, let's dance! <hr width="50%"/> :''[Villains are terrorizing Metropolis.]'' :'''Kalibak''': This looks like a job for Superman! But I don't think he's ''coming''. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hawkgirl''': You wanna settle down now? Please say no! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Martian Manhunter''': The Justice League is about more than physical power. It's about ideals, caring, helping. :'''Lobo''': Buy me a ticket to Pukesville. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Kalibak''': I'm going to grind you into paste! :'''Lobo''': Awful brave talk for a dead man. :'''Kalibak''': I'm not dead yet. :'''Lobo''': You're right. My watch is about ten seconds fast. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Lobo''': Pretty good huh? When you got Lobo on your team, who needs Superman? :''[the members of the Justice League lower their heads in sadness]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Vandal Savage''': The Earth belongs to the cockroaches now... oh, and me. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': You're insane. :'''[[w: Vandal Savage|Vandal Savage]]''': True, but that doesn't mean I'm not good company. Say, you wanna come over to my house? ''[Superman looks confused]'' Like you've got something ''better'' to do. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': ''[holding a rock over Vandal Savage's head]'' I should smash your skull. :'''Vandal Savage''': Go ahead, we both know it wouldn't work. :''[Superman pauses and drops the rock. They both stand up.]'' :'''Superman''': What now...? :'''Vandal Savage''': ...Lunch? <hr width="50%"/> :''[Superman picks up a copy of "Life Strategies: Coping With Yourself"]'' :'''Superman''': Self-help books? You don't seem the type. :'''Vandal Savage''': I read whatever I can find. Anyway, I've got issues, what with my destroying the Earth and all. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': What happens to you? :'''Vandal Savage''': Redemption, if I'm lucky. Don't worry about me. Go back to your friends. Do what you do best, what you were born to do - save the world. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Everyone is marveling at Superman's return]'' :'''Martian Manhunter''': You were greatly missed, my friend... by all of us. :''[All eyes turn to Batman, who is standing apart with arms crossed, emotionless]'' :'''Wonder Woman''': Don't let him fool you. Your death hit him as hard as it did any of us. :'''Superman''': Really? :'''Batman''': No. I never believed you were dead in the first place. :'''Superman''': I guess that's sort of a compliment. :'''Lobo''': Ain't this great? The whole team together again, all eight of us! :'''Superman''': Count again. You're fired. :'''Lobo''': ''What?!'' :'''Superman''': You're not Justice League material, Lobo. Go chase a bail-jumper. I don't care what you do, just clear out. :'''Lobo''': This is the thanks I get? What a stinkin' rip. ''[hops onto his Hog]'' Next time you lollipops need help, don't bother asking the Main Man! ''[flies away]'' :'''Martian Manhunter''': ... We didn't ask you ''this'' time! <hr width="50%"/> :''[In the future, Vandal Savage is sitting alone after sending Superman back to the present. Soon, people start appearing around him, along with an intact city, while Savage himself starts to disappear, indicating that Superman managed to stop him in the past]'' :'''Vandal Savage''': Thank you, my friend. ''[fades away]'' ===''Wild Cards'' [2.21-22]=== :'''Hawkgirl''': Aha, that's it. Right there. :'''Green Lantern''': No it's not. :'''Hawkgirl''': I think I would know. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': Ah, ah, ah! Don't touch that remote. I know it's heartbreaking to have your favorite shows preempted, but look what you're getting instead: me! And a whole truckload of mindless violence and wanton property damage, everything that makes TV great! So stay tuned - you won't believe your eyes. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': Here's how we do this little tango: I've tucked away a great, big time bomb somewhere on the Vegas strip. Only the Justice League can defuse it, 'cause if anyone ''else'' tries, ''[shows audience a switch]'' I press this, and kablooie! No waiting! Now, I know you want to see the big bomb hunt from the best point of view, so I've set up hundreds of cameras all over town! The League won't be able to burp without us looking in! And since every good suspense show has to have a ticking clock, here's mine! ''[a display appears on screen, counting down from 23 minutes - the average length of an episode without commercials]'' Oh, what were you expecting from me? A round number? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': The Royal Flush Gang! Jack, Ten, King, and... uhhh... ''[as the camera pans up from Queen's feet, showing her figure]'' Queen! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': ''[watching Batman's jet land and Batman step out]'' I see one of our stars approaching the red carpet! And he’s in black — always chic. ''[Javelin lands and the rest of the Justice League step out]'' But here come the fashion disasters. I’m surprised their mummies let them out of the house looking like that. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': While they stumble around trying to find my bomb, let's see how the local economy's doing. :''[A slot machine area is deserted.]'' :'''Joker''': Oh, it looks a little slow. ''[An old woman is shown at one of the slots]'' Ma'am? Ma'am? Aren't you scared? :'''Old Lady''': ''[not looking up]'' Of what? This thing's gotta pay up sooner or later. :'''Joker''': Man, I LOVE this town! <hr width="50%"/> :''[The Royal Flush Gang is fleeing the scene]'' :'''Joker''': Oh, you're breaking an old man's heart, kids! Stand up to them like I would! If I were there... and if I had superpowers and... Oh, for Pete's sake, go back there and beat on them! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': ''[after telling the origin story of his minions]'' The government said it was protecting them. But what it really wanted was to turn them into human weapons. [[w:Scooby-Doo|And they would have gotten away with it too, if not for ''me'' meddling with the kids!]] <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': ''[about Ten]'' Ten feels no pain - literally! And he's just as strong as Stupidman! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': ''[about Batman]'' ''Him'' again, it's always ''him''! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Bookie''': Smart money's all on your boy Jack, Mr. J.! Batman has the edge in experience—and weight, I can't help noticing; I suspect he's indulging in too many "Bat-donuts"—but Jack is younger and he definitely has the longer reach. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': I can't believe he didn't suspect a trap. See what happens when you don't watch enough television? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': The suspense is killing me! Of course, it's going to be the ''explosions'' that kill them. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': ''[after Green Lantern reveals a false bomb located at the bottom of a river]'' Aww, I was hoping someone would drown trying to disarm that. ''C'est la vie.'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': ''[After locating a bomb but not knowing how to disarm it, talking to Batman via comlink]'' Batman, I've got a problem! :'''Batman''': ''[Being strangled in a battle with Jack, and attempting to fight]'' You... don't... SAY! :'''Flash''': I found a bomb. You've got to talk me through disarming it. :'''Batman''': ''[throwing exploding batarangs at Jack]'' Okay. Remove the lid... :'''Flash''': Already done. :'''Batman''': Don't jump ahead! Do exactly as I say! :'''Flash''': I opened it before I called! ''[sound of blow landing]'' Batman, you okay? :'''Batman''': ''[evading Jack's punches]'' Grasp the red metal collar with both hands, pull it straight up. It's magnetized, don't touch the sides, or it'll blow up the whole block. :'''Flash''': Done. :'''Batman''': Disconnect the following wires in- ''[Jack hits him]'' ''AH!'' -in precisely this order: blue, yellow-and-black striped, red, then black. :'''Flash''': ''[does so]'' Okay, what next? :'''Batman''': You're done. Find another one! :'''Flash''': I'm on it! <hr width="50%"/> :''[Green Lantern and Hawkgirl have found a bomb]'' :'''Hawkgirl''': Why not put a force field around it and let it blow?! :'''Green Lantern''': I don't know if I can contain an explosion that size! :'''Hawkgirl''': Maybe you should let me defuse it! :'''Green Lantern''': Maybe you should shut up! :''[cut to Joker in the studio]'' :'''Joker''': Phew! Is it just me or is there something going on between those two? Will Green Lantern ever admit to his feelings? Will Hawkgirl ever stop sublimating her passions with that big honkin' mace? Will true love conquer all? ''[raises his detonator]'' Not on ''my'' show! :''[in the casino, the bomb lets out a loud beep; Lantern spins around and fires a force blast that ejects Hawkgirl from the casino, a split-second before it explodes and collapses.]'' :'''Hawkgirl''': JOHN! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': Ooh! Medical drama, life and death stakes, compelling human conflict...RATINGS! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': Give it up, kid. There's no way you can beat me. :'''[[w:Royal Flush Gang|Ten]]''': I don't have to ''beat'' you. I just have to slow you down until the bomb blows! :'''Superman''': Hold that thought! ''[Punches Ten high into the sky, and defuses the bomb. Ten falls back down]'' Now, where were we? :''[another punch sends Ten flying, and Superman flies after him]'' :'''Joker''': A person could ''really'' learn to hate that guy. Let's go back to watching Green Lantern croak - that should cheer me up. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': Harley! Where's Joker? :'''[[w:Harley Quinn|Harley Quinn]]''': After all these years, you still think I'd give up Mister J? :'''Batman''': Why not? He gave you up. :'''Harley Quinn''': That was a long time ago! He's changed! We've been to couple's counseling! :'''Batman''': I'm talking about right now. Or haven't you been watching the show? You've seen the way he touches her hair, the way he rubs her shoulders. :'''Harley Quinn''': You mean Ace? She's just a kid! :'''Batman''': Really? Then why is she with him while you're out here in the cold? :''[Harley pauses, then punches Batman in the face.]'' :'''Joker''': Have to admit, didn't see that one coming... <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': Even you can't disarm one of my bombs in time! :'''Flash''': Shut up! :'''Joker''': What kind of retort is that? You're not even trying! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': That was quite a stunt you just pulled off. :'''Flash''': I know. Can't wait to catch the rerun. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': You know, our show was picked up by all the news channels. And the last 15 minutes or so's been running on the Broadcast networks. According to my projections, we've got somewhere between 60-70 million people watching right now, and that was the point all along. This whole thing was a stunt, to get as many of you watching as possible, and it worked! My Royal Flush Gang provided the conflict, the Justice League brought the star power, and I brought the shocking surprise ending. Everyone watching this show right now is witness to my greatest joke ever. In just over five minutes, you'll all be hopelessly, incurably insane. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': [[w:Ace (comics)|She]] can send out thought waves that can alter perception... but enough with the jargon, she can drive you crazy just by ''looking'' at you - either in person, or on TV. Even as I speak, millions of you slack-jawed couch potatoes are slowly losing your grip on reality - which in my opinion is highly overrated anyway. But you can't look away, even though you know something is terribly wrong. And the best part is, I'm immune to all of this because I'm ALREADY crazy. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': We can't let everything we have be ruined by a silly misunderstanding! :'''Harley Quinn''': And just what is it that I'm not understanding?! :'''Joker''': That we're two of a kind. That you'll always come back to me. :'''Harley Quinn''': Yeah, I guess I do, don't I...? :'''Joker''': Like the swallows in Capistrano. And there's one other thing you're not getting. :'''Harley Quinn''': ''[innocently]'' What? :'''Joker''': ''[enraged]'' THAT YOU LED BATMAN RIGHT TO MY DOORSTEP! ''[smacks Harley away]'' Tough love. Very effective, don't you think so, Batman? ''[silence]'' Yoo-hoo? Batman? I know you're up there s- OH! ''[Batman punches him]'' Oh, there you are. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Joker sings to the tune of "London Bridge"]'' :'''Joker''': ''[punches Batman]'' Big old Bats has fallen down. ''[punches him again]'' On the ground. ''[again]'' Mind unsound. ''[again]'' Big old Bats has fallen down ''[again]'' I'm so happy! <hr width="50%"/> :''[Batman has pulled the mind-control headband out of Joker's pocket. Ace is furious]'' :'''Joker''': Just... Just a souvenir, that's all! Give me that! ''[Tries to take it back]'' :'''Ace''': ''[stands up and advances on Joker]'' "I'm not afraid of you..." :'''Joker''': ''[scared]'' Wait ... puh-please ...! ''[backs away]'' :'''Ace''': "I know what it's like to frighten other people. That's why I'm not afraid of you. I'm the only one." :'''Joker''': Don't do this! ''[cowers in fear and closes his eyes, obviously terrified]'' :'''Ace''': ''[petting Joker's head]'' Do what? :'''Joker''': ''[looks up]'' That's my little Acey! Everything's going to be... AAAAAARRGH! :''[Ace uses her powers on Joker to plunge him into a catatonic state]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[in the Watchtower's infirmary]'' :'''Hawkgirl''': It was the shock of the detonation that stopped his heart... no, he's going to be fine. I'll stay with him tonight. Batman, about before? I'm sorry I... :'''Batman''': No. We never leave a man behind. Right? :'''Hawkgirl''': ''[smiles]'' Right. <hr width="50%"/> :'''John Stewart''': You know how we feel about each other. :'''Hawkgirl''': John... :'''John Stewart''': And I know you feel the same way. :'''Hawkgirl''': It's not that simple. John, this can't go any further. :'''John Stewart''': Why not? :'''Hawkgirl''': Well... we work together. :'''John Stewart''': So? Gives us something in common. :'''Hawkgirl''': We can't be worrying about each other when we're fighting the bad guys. :'''John Stewart''': Too late for that. What else you got? :'''Hawkgirl''': Ugh... It's crazy, I mean, look at us. Just look at us. :'''John Stewart''': I see a man, and a woman. :''[John removes Shayera's helmet. They slowly get closer and kiss]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Old Lady''': Well, it's about time. ===''Comfort And Joy'' [2.23]=== :'''Jonathan Kent''': It's good to have you home again, son. :'''Clark Kent''': It's good to be back, Pa. And I brought a friend. :''[Clark walks in the house and J'onn appears in the doorway]'' :'''Martian Manhunter''': Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Kent. I hope I'm not intruding. Super.. uh, Clark was most insistent I join you for the holiday. My name is J'onn. I'm a Martian. :''[Jonathan and Martha usher J'onn into the house]'' :'''Jonathan Kent''': Oh, we're no strangers to aliens in this house. Make yourself at home. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Jonathan Kent''': Okay, everybody! I'm turning on the Christmas tree! :'''Clark Kent''': Pa, that's my job! <hr width="50%"/> :'''The Flash''': Wow. Someone sure did a number on this place. :'''Ultra-Humanite''': Actually, I hadn't even started... Do you believe the horrendous amount of public funding spent on this so-called ''art''? It's garbage! An affront to any decent human aesthetic! :'''The Flash''': Oh-''kay'', I'll just take you back to prison, where you won't have to look at the ''ugly'' old sculptures anymore. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Ultra-Humanite''': You'll be happy to know, Flash, that your words - ''jejeune'' though they were - did not fall on deaf ears. I appreciate the sentiment behind them, and therefore call a truce in honor of the season. :'''The Flash''': Seriously? :'''Ultra-Humanite''': You'll have the toy to give to your young friends. I'm improving it, too. :'''The Flash''': ''[suspicious]'' It's not gonna blow up or anything? :'''Ultra-Humanite''': ''[incredulous]'' Flash. It ''is'' Christmas. :'''The Flash''': Okay, but why did you hit me? :'''Ultra-Humanite''': You hit me first. Hand me that screwdriver, will you? <hr width="50%"/> :'''The Flash''': Hey, kids, Santa Flash is back! ''[the children cheer]'' Along with my special helper, Freaky The Snowman! ''[the children grow silent]'' :'''Ultra-Humanite''': Just give them the toy and take me to jail. :'''The Flash''': Are you sure it won't, y'know...? ''[makes exploding noise]'' :'''Ultra-Humanite''': Oh, for Heaven's sake! :'''DJ Rubba' Ducky''': ''[in Ultra-Humanite's voice]'' Hello, children. Come close and I'll tell you a story. :'''Child 1''': Is that DJ Rubba' Ducky? :'''Child 2''': He sounds weird. :'''DJ Rubba' Ducky''': ''[in Ultra-Humanite's voice]'' Little Clara had just received a beautiful toy nutcracker from her godfather, the mysterious Herr Drosselmeyer. :'''Ultra-Humanite''': Well? An improvement, wouldn't you say? :'''The Flash''': I kinda liked it when he made the poopy noise... ''[In spite of this, the children keep hearing the toy telling the story of ''The Nutcracker'' until they start sleeping.]'' ...but this is good, too. <hr width="50%"/> :''[The Flash visits the Ultra-Humanite in his prison cell]'' :'''Ultra-Humanite''': Haven't I seen enough of you for one night? :'''The Flash''': I wanted to say thanks. You really helped me out. :'''Ultra-Humanite''': I did it for the children. I welcome any opportunity to bring culture to the uncorrupted. :'''The Flash''': Sure. But I thought you might like some holiday cheer yourself. :''[He steps to one side, revealing:]'' :'''Ultra-Humanite''': An aluminum Christmas tree? :'''The Flash''': I know, it's kinda cheesy, but-- :'''Ultra-Humanite''': No, no. I had one just like it when I was... it's very nice. The guard will show you out. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hawkgirl''': ''[Entering a bar]'' Hey, guys! :'''Patrons''': Shayera! <hr width="50%"/> :''[as J'onn sings his song]'' :'''Clark Kent''': And he said he didn't bring a gift. ===''Starcrossed'' [2.24-26]=== :''[Green Lantern has just found out about the relationship between Hawkgirl and Hro Talak]'' :'''Batman''': The most mysterious creatures in the universe. :'''Green Lantern''': Sorry? :'''Batman''': Women. Don't be too hard on yourself. You didn't know she was spoken for. :'''Green Lantern''': How did you...? :'''Batman''': It wasn't hard to figure out. The point is these things happen. You just have to accept it and move on. :'''Green Lantern''': Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. :''[He starts to walk off but J'onn J'onnz (Martian Manhunter) stops him]'' :'''Martian Manhunter''': Believe me, I know the pain when two people who are involved... :''[The Flash speeds up to them]'' :'''Flash''': Who's involved? ''[He looks at Green Lantern]'' You and Hawkgirl?! Get out. ''[Green Lantern glares at Flash]'' Really? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': Don't be afraid, little man. I won't bite. <hr width=50%/> :''[The League is on the run from the Thanagarians, hiding in a department store]'' :'''Martian Manhunter''': They'll have the whole city covered by now. :'''Flash''': Who knows? Maybe they'll get tired and go home. ''[Everyone looks at him]'' ...Yeah, I know. But a little optimism at a time like this couldn't hurt. :'''Thanagarians''': This is the voice of the Thanagarian Occupational Authority. Your so-called Justice League is in violation of our martial law. They are to be considered an enemy and dealt with on sight. Any person found aiding or harboring them will be summarily punished. :'''Flash''': Okay, so much for optimism. :'''Batman''': For the time being, we're going to have to go underground. :'''Wonder Woman''': How exactly do we hide when the entire planet is looking for us? :'''Martian Manhunter''': They'll be looking for the Justice League. Without our costumes, we are merely ordinary citizens. ''[shifts into human form]'' :'''Flash''': Hold on a second here. What about the whole secret identity thing? I mean, I trust you guys, but I'm not sure I'm ready to- :'''Batman''': ''[points at Flash]'' Wally West, ''[points at Superman]'' Clark Kent... ''[removes own mask]'' Bruce Wayne. :'''Flash''': ''[stares, wide-eyed]'' ...Showoff. ''[shrugs and removes his cowl]'' :'''Wonder Woman''': ''[ruffles his hair]'' Red hair. It suits you. :'''Flash''': You think? ''[gets hit in the head by a shirt]'' :'''Batman''': ''[stalks past, looking disgruntled]'' Change. Now. <hr width="50%"/> :''[in order to hide from pursuing Thanagarians, Diana and Bruce take refuge in a diner and, when the Thanagarians enter, Diana pulls Bruce into a kiss. They separate after the soldiers leave]'' :'''Diana Prince''': Sorry. :'''Bruce Wayne''': ''[with a grin]'' Don't be. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Shayera tries to convince Hro to relocate the hyperspace generator]'' :'''Hro Talak''': Have you forgotten why we fight? Of what horrors the Gordanians are capable of? Have you forgotten my long years rotting in their stinking prison camps?! ''[takes off his headdress, revealing the scars on the side of his face]'' I haven't! :'''Shayera Hol''': I have forgotten nothing. But this war is no excuse to- :'''Hro Talak''': I am your commander! You will not question me! :'''Shayera Hol''': I don't even know you anymore. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Wally and John arrive at Wayne Manor; Alfred answers the door]'' :'''Wally West''': Uh, hi. We're looking for Bruce Wayne? We're friends. :'''[[w:Alfred Pennyworth|Alfred Pennyworth]]''': Of course, Master Bruce is expecting you. This way, please. :'''Wally West''': So, [[w:Jeeves|Jeeves]], do you come with the place, or does "Master Bruce" just rent you out for parties? :'''Alfred Pennyworth''': I've been in service here since the master was in diapers. :'''Wally West''': ''[turns to John]'' Now, ''there's'' a picture. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Alfred Pennyworth''': Your guests have arrived, sir. :'''Batman''': You're late. :'''John Stewart''': Nice to see you too. :'''Wally West''': ''[seeing Batman's trophy T-rex]'' Hey! That's a giant dinosaur! :'''Alfred Pennyworth''': And I thought ''Batman'' was the detective. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Examining data on Thanagarian plans]'' :'''Batman''': Ingenious. :'''Superman''': Yeah, I'm impressed. Let's go wreck it. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Batman throws batarangs at oncoming Thanagarians. At first nothing happens.]'' :'''Thanagarian soldier''': Your weapons are pitiful! :'''Batman''': Wait for it... :''[Swarm of bats attack the Thanagarians]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Flash causes the giant penny in the Batcave to fall on two Thanagarian warriors]'' :'''Flash''': Tails! I win! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': Well? :'''Martian Manhunter''': I have no idea how to fly this vehicle. :'''Flash''': What's this do? ''[pushes random button that causes the ship to fire at Wayne Manor, narrowly missing Alfred]'' :'''Batman''': ''[through clenched teeth]'' That's. ''Not.'' Helping. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Alfred Pennyworth''': ''[finding a bound Thanagarian]'' I've asked Master Bruce to refrain from leaving trash on the lawn. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Shayera Hol''': I came to help. :'''Flash''': Hawkpeople all over the planet, martial law, us getting chased like dogs- I don't think we can take much more of your help. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Superman, Wonder Woman and Green Lantern are approaching the Thanagarian command ship, as it deploys interceptor fighters]'' :'''Wonder Woman''': Pretty bad odds. :'''Superman''': Yeah. They don't stand a chance. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Okay, the Watchtower is ours again. So where's your secret weapon? :'''Batman''': You're standing in it. :'''Flash''': Wait, you mean we're gonna...? :'''Batman''': Take the Watchtower out of orbit and drop it right on top of their little science project. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Batman helps J'onn and the Flash load the unconscious Thanagarians into an escape pod, then closes the door and launches the pod, leaving himself behind.]'' :'''Martian Manhunter''': What are you doing? :'''Batman''': I can't risk having the Watchtower burn up on re-entry. I'll have to guide it in, manually. Gentlemen... it's been an honor. :''[Flash slumps on the floor of the pod as it disengages and maneuvers away from the Watchtower.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hro Talak''': This won't be like the last time you stole something from me. :'''Green Lantern''': Anything I took was freely offered. Maybe you should take better care of your stuff. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hro Talak''': I've beaten you, little man. Any last words? :'''Green Lantern''': Yeah - you can kiss my ''axe''. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': My grandma hits harder than you! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': ''[over radio-link]'' We're cutting it a little close! Have you shut off the force-field? :'''Superman''': Not yet. Where are you? :'''Batman''': Aboard the Watchtower, guiding it to target. :'''Superman''': ''[shocked]'' That's insane! Get out of there! :'''Batman''': Negative! I'm staying until... ''[static over radio]'' :'''Superman''': Batman! ''[abandons fight]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Batman loses consciousness just before Superman arrives. Superman rips up the seat he's buckled into, and flies him away from the Watchtower before impact.]'' :'''Superman''': ''[As they pick themselves up from the rubble]'' Always have to be the hero, don't you? :'''Batman''': Right back at you. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hro Talak''': There's no us anymore, Shayera. Just a fallen traitor And a soldier with a job to do. She won't save you again, lantern. No woman's skirt to hide behind. No ring. What are you going to do now? :'''Green Lantern''': I was thinking of introducing you to my friend here! :'''Thanagarian''': All construction personnel now en route to mother ship. :'''Paran Dul''': Good. Begin activation sequence. :'''Green Lantern''': That all you got? My grandma hits harder than you. :'''Hro Talak''': No! :'''Wonder Woman''': Who's next?! :'''Hro Talak''': Stand down! Lower your weapons. :'''Thanagarian''': Commander? :'''Hro Talak''': Our mission is a failure. There's no more reason to fight. Let them go. I hope you're pleased with yourself. It will take years for us to rebuild elsewhere. :'''Shayera Hol''': Then you'd better get started. :'''Snapper Carr''': This is Snapper Carr reporting. In a stunning turn of events, the Thanagarian Forces have ended their occupation of earth, departing for locations unknown. Once again, the world owes a debt of gratitude To the selfless heroism of the Justice League. :'''Shayera Hol''': They've been in there a long time. :'''Alfred Pennyworth''': Yes, miss, they have. If I may be so bold, I'm neither a superhero, nor a soldier, so I'm hardly qualified to judge your actions by those standards. But I do know this: without the great sacrifices you've made, we wouldn't be here to share this nice pot of tea. Whatever they decide in that room, in my eyes, you'll always be a hero. :'''Wonder Woman''': She exploited our weaknesses, betrayed us-- :'''Flash''': Come on! She was in the ultimate no-win situation. But when push came to shove, she came through for us, just like always. :'''Martian Manhunter''': She's a pariah to her people. We're all she has left. :'''Superman''': Believe me, J'onn. I feel for her, but after everything that's happened. I honestly don't know if I could ever completely trust her again. :'''Batman''': We're arguing in circles. It's time to take a vote. :'''Alfred Pennyworth''': They've sent for you, miss. :'''Shayera Hol''': Thank you, Alfred. :'''Superman''': Hawkgirl. :'''Shayera Hol''': Before you start, I have something to say... I came to this planet as a patriot. I had a mission, and I carried it out. What I couldn't know was that I would come to care for the earth And her people... That I've come to care for all of you. I've spent the last 5 years torn between my feelings And my duty. I won't ask you to do the same. Therefore I am resigning from the justice league, Effective immediately. :'''Flash''': Great. No Hawkgirl. No Javelin. No Watchtower. What's gonna happen to the League now? Do we all just walk away? :'''Martian Manhunter''': No. We rebuild, starting today. :'''Superman''': J'onn's right. Earth still needs us, and we'll never let her down. It's our duty. :'''Green Lantern''': You never asked how we voted. :'''Shayera Hol''': It doesn't matter. :'''Green Lantern''': Where are you gonna go? :'''Shayera Hol''': I don't know. Someplace where the fate of the world wasn't in my hands. Someplace where there's no more secrets, no more lies. :'''Green Lantern''': Was it all a lie? :'''Shayera Hol''': I love you, John. I never lied about that. ''[flies away]'' :'''Green Lantern''': ''[tears falling off his face]'' I love you, too. ==See also== * ''[[Justice League Unlimited]]'' ==External links== {{wikipedia|Justice League (TV series)}} *{{imdb title|id=0275137|title=Justice League}} [[Category:Pages which need their copyright status checked]] [[Category:2000s American animated TV shows]] [[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]] [[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]] [[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]] [[Category:American children's animated science fantasy TV shows]] [[Category:American children's animated superhero TV shows]] [[Category:Cancelled shows]] [[Category:Cartoon Network shows]] [[Category:Television series on DVD]] [[Category:Crime TV shows]] [[Category:Fantasy TV shows]] [[Category:Horror TV shows]] [[Category:Science fiction TV shows]] [[Category:Animated television programs based on DC Comics]] [[Category:Animated Batman TV shows]] [[Category:Animated Justice League TV shows]] [[Category:Animated Superman TV shows]] [[Category:Crossover animated TV shows]] [[Category:Television series by Warner Bros. Animation]] rt14lm3spmt8bmnculhmqpzscl8xj24 3942253 3942252 2026-05-18T06:57:11Z ~2026-29741-14 3323919 /* Secret Origins [1.1-3] */ 3942253 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} [[File:DC_Bullet_(SVG).svg|thumb|I once thought I could [[protect]] the [[world]] by myself, but I was [[wrong]]. [[Working]] together, we saved the planet, and I [[believe]] that if we stay together as a team, we could be a [[force]] that could truly work for the [[ideals]] of [[peace]] and [[justice]].]] [[File:Hippolyte_Amazon_queen.jpg|thumb|My [[mother]] may not approve, but I found Man's World to be quite [[intriguing]]. I'll gladly join.]] [[File:Bat_Phone.jpg|thumb|I'm not really a [[people]] person. But, when you need [[help]] - and you '''will''' - call me.]] '''''[[w:Justice League (TV series)|Justice League]]''''' is an American animated television series which ran from November 17, 2001 to May 29, 2004 on [[w:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]] as part of the [[w:DC Animated Universe|DC Animated Universe]]. Produced by [[w:Warner Bros. Animation|Warner Bros. Animation]], it is based on the [[w:Justice League|Justice League of America]] and associated comic book characters published by [[DC Comics]]. ==Season 1== ===''Secret Origins'' [1.1-3]=== :'''B. Allen Carter''': Would you look at that. A little slice of heaven. :'''Ed Reiss''': If your idea of heaven is a barren, lifeless rock. :'''J. Allen Carter''': You have the soul of a poet. :'''Ed Reiss''': Carter, we didn't come for the viewers. <br> Our mission here is purely scientific. Are you getting any readings? :'''J. Allen Carter''': No detectable level of H20...hold on. :'''Ed Reiss''': What? :'''J. Allen Carter''': Could be an ice crystal. No. It almost looks organic. :'''Ed Reiss''': Carter, look out! Carter! Carter, do you read me? Are you alright? Repeat! Carter, do you read me? :'''J. Allen Carter''': I'm okay Ed. Ed? Come in Ed! ''[static]'' Dead. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Superman|Superman]]''': Medic! He needs help. :'''Medic''': ''[wheezing a stretcher over to where Superman is landing]'' What happened? :'''Superman''': I'm not sure. ''[Superman lays Batman, unconsciously, on a stretcher and flies away. The medic takes his pulse, then reaches for his mask.]'' :'''[[w:Batman|Batman]]''': ''[grabbing her waist]'' Don't even ''think'' about it. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Martian Manhunter|Martian Manhunter]]''': I came to warn you, but I was captured and imprisoned. They wouldn't listen. :'''Batman''': Big surprise. :'''Martian Manhunter''': I sense you don't trust me. Perhaps this will help. ''[after changing to a more human form]'' I am J'onn J'onzz. :''[He offers his hand to Batman, who just stands there.]'' :'''Superman''': Don't take it personally, J'onn. He doesn't trust anyone. :'''Martian Manhunter''': ''[dryly]'' A wise policy. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Whoa! Where have you been all my life? :'''Wonder Woman''': Themyscira. :'''Flash''': Huh? :'''Hawkgirl''': The home of the Amazons. I always thought it was merely a legend. :'''Wonder Woman''': I assure you, it's as real as the ground on which we stand on. I am Diana, Princess of the Amazons. :'''Flash''': Pinch me, I must be dreaming. ''[Superman elbows him]'' Ow! :'''Wonder Woman''': Themyscira is protected by the gods. But I could not idly stand by when the rest of the world is in danger. :'''Superman''': It was lucky you showed up when you did. :'''Martian Manhunter''': No. Not luck. I telepathically summoned them. :'''Flash''': Look, I'm usually pretty quick on the uptake, but would someone please tell me, what the heck is going on here? ''[Everyone looks at him]'' :'''Wonder Woman''': So, J'onn J'onzz, you came from Mars to warn us? :'''Flash''': This is just too weird. :'''Green Lantern''': I've seen stranger things.<hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': What's the problem? Can't you just whip up another batch of that nerve gas? :'''Martian Manhunter''': Unfortunately, no. The gas can only be made from a rare Martian plant. I brought a sample with me, but it was destroyed when I was captured. :'''Flash''': Uh, what's Plan B? :'''Wonder Woman''': We'll have to take out those factories. :'''Green Lantern''': Lady, this is no job for amateurs. :'''Wonder Woman''': We Amazons are warriors born! Want to test me? :'''Superman''': Lets not fight among ourselves. John, we're going to need all the help we can get. :'''Green Lantern''': Fine. Sorry, "your highness". Tactically, we'll have multiple objectives. We'll need to split into teams. :'''Flash''': Dibs on the Amazon! ''[cut to Flash and Green Lantern]'' You are no fun! :'''Green Lantern''': This isn't supposed to be fun. We've got a job to do. We'll do it better without distractions. Understood? :'''Flash''': Yeah, yeah. I hear you. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': Are you always so eager to fight? :'''Hawkgirl''': My homeworld, Thanagar, is a war-like world. There, one must strike first or die. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Imperium''': You're hiding something. A secret in the recesses of your mind. Is this another of your Martian tricks? :'''Martian Manhunter''': Do I sense fear? <hr width="50%"/> :''[The League is in the watchtower for the first time.] :'''Superman''':''[looking out the window]'' Incredible...Do your stockholders know about this Bruce? :'''Batman''': A line item hidden in the aerospace R&D budget. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': I once thought I could protect the world by myself, but I was wrong. Working together, we saved the planet, and I believe that if we stay together as a team, we could be a force that could truly work for the ideals of peace and justice. :'''[[w:Wally West|The Flash]]''': What, like a bunch of... [[w:Super Friends|super friends?]] :'''Superman''': More like a [[w:Justice League|Justice League]]. :'''The Flash''': You have no idea how corny that sounds. But maybe the big guy's got a point. With all of us behind it, it just might work. Count me in. :'''Green Lantern''': Me too. :'''Hawkgirl''' : And me. :'''Wonder Woman''': My mother may not approve, but I found Man's World to be quite intriguing. I'll gladly join. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': I'm not really a people person. But, when you need help - and you '''will''' - call me. ===''In Blackest Night'' [1.4-5]=== :'''Martian Manhunter''': Wonder Woman is on another case, Superman's dealing with an earthquake and Batman would only say that he's "busy". :'''[[w:Hawkgirl|Hawkgirl]]''': Typical. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Hawkgirl has just critically damaged an attacking ship]'' :'''Superman''': Hawkgirl! :'''Hawkgirl''': What? ''[Superman flies off to prevent the ship from crashing]'' Oh, that. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Flash catches Hawkgirl after getting thrown]'' :'''Flash''': Aren't you gonna thank me? :'''Hawkgirl''': Down, boy. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Asking the fastest man alive to slow things down? Won't be easy. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Third Judge''': We don't want any doubt about our final judgement, do we? :'''Second Judge''': No, we don't. But who will speak for John Stewart? :'''Flash''': Don't you have any lawyers here? :'''Chief Judge''': We solved our lawyer problem a long time ago. :'''Third Judge''': However, you could speak for him, if you wish. :'''Second Judge''': But be aware, if you lose, you'll share the same penalty as the accused. :'''Flash''': The same penalty? You mean... that's crazy! :'''Chief Judge''': No, that's how we solved our lawyer problem. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': ''[buying time defending Green Lantern]'' Ahem. Right. Sure. But first, I'd like to say a few words about... about habeus corpus. Yeah, habeus corpus! And ipso... facto! Phi Beta Kappa!... ''[still defending Green Lantern]'' Have you asked yourself, "why this rush to judgment?" [[w:O. J. Simpson murder case#The glove|If the ring wasn't lit, you must acquit]], and furthermore... <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Uh, looks like we've got a surprise witness. :'''Prosecutor''': Surprise witness? He was nowhere near the crime, what kind of witness could he be? :'''Flash''': A big scary one. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Prosecutor''': How much more must we hear? We demand an immediate judgment! :'''Flash''': I object! :'''Judges''': ''[in unison, clearly irritated]'' OVERRULED! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': I'm sorry. I did everything I could. :'''[[w:John Stewart (comics)|Green Lantern]]''': I wish you hadn't. :'''Flash''': ''[being moved toward the execution chamber]'' Whoa, time out! I want an appeal! :'''Green Lantern''': Will you show some dignity for once in your life? :'''Flash''': This isn't right. We can't just sit here. :'''Green Lantern''': We have to. Think of the others like us. We all need to be held accountable. We have too much power not to be. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight. Let those who worship evil's might, beware my power: Green Lantern's light! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Guardian''': We chose wisely when we offered you the ring. ===''The Enemy Below'' [1.6-7]=== :'''Superman''': You know, all this could have been avoided. :'''[[w:Aquaman|Aquaman]]''': How? :'''Superman''': Come and air your grievances at the World Assembly. Negotiate for peace. :'''Aquaman''': You'd have me crawl to them like some beggar? :'''Superman''': No. Stand before them like a king. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': We never should have left that sub down there. Now it's in the hands of that madman. :'''[[w:Wonder Woman|Wonder Woman]]''': Aquaman's no madman. He's a king. He only wants to preserve and protect his own kind. :'''Green Lantern''': So who's going to protect ''us'' from ''him''? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': I'll take it from here. ''[takes Deadshot away from the group]'' :'''[[w:Deadshot|Deadshot]]''': You can't scare me, Batman. :'''Batman''': ''[grabbing him]'' Let me give you one word of advice... :''[Batman whispers something indistinct.]'' :'''Deadshot''': Okay, I'll tell, I'll tell. :'''Wonder Woman''': ''[to Superman]'' What did he say? :'''Superman''': You don't want to know. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Aquaman jumps off of a jetski and onto the back of a giant killer whale, which jumps through the air and lands on a large group of soldiers before submerging.]'' :'''Green Lantern''': I saw it, but I still don't believe it. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Ocean Master|Orm]]''': Well, I'm off to avenge your deaths. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': His own hand... I can't believe it. :'''Green Lantern''': I told you he was a madman. :'''Mera''': Is it madness to sacrifice all for someone you love? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': There's not much time. If we can't shut that down, the entire world is doomed! :'''Green Lantern''': I suppose this is a bad time to say "I told you so." <hr width="50%"/> :'''Aquaman''': ''[sighs]'' I can only blame myself. My fear of the surface-dwellers blinded me to those I should have feared most... and it cost me dearly. ''[looks down at the harpoon replacing his severed hand]'' :'''Green Lantern''': Don't be too hard on yourself. Maybe we've all misjudged. :'''Aquaman''': Perhaps. All I want, all I've ever wanted, is peace and security for Atlantis. :'''Superman''': After what's happened, it won't be easy. :'''Aquaman''': ''[looks back at Mera, holding their son]'' I know. But some sacrifices are worth it. ===''Injustice For All'' [1.8-9]=== :'''Martian Manhunter''': ''[to Luthor]'' So much for your image as a benevolent businessman. This is the end of an era. :'''[[w:Lex Luthor|Lex Luthor]]''': The end of ''your'' era, maybe. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': Lex, if there's anything I can do- :'''Lex Luthor''': You've done more than enough! <hr width="50%"/> :''[Luthor interrupts the [[w:Ultra-Humanite|Ultra-Humanite]]'s opera program]'' :'''Lex Luthor''': Humanite! How can you stand that caterwauling?! :'''Ultra-Humanite''': Music is one of the meager pleasures I'm allowed in here, along with a few other necessities. You should try the culture channel. It might improve your disposition. :'''Lex Luthor''': There's nothing wrong with my disposition that a little freedom wouldn't cure. :'''Ultra-Humanite''': That's not what ''I'' hear. :'''Lex Luthor''': ... I need your help. And I can make it worth your while. :'''Ultra-Humanite''': What do I need with money? :'''Lex Luthor''': Everyone needs money. The only question is, ''how much''? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hawkgirl''': I'm used to being thanked when I save someone. :'''Batman''': I'm not used to being saved. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Star Sapphire (comics)|Star Sapphire]]''': Common criminals. Is this what I've been reduced to? :'''Lex Luthor''': Criminals, yes. But common? Most certainly not. :'''[[w:Shade (comics)|Shade]]''': Lex Luthor? Well, the plot thins. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': And I had those flames out before the firemen even stepped off their trucks. :'''Hawkgirl''': That's fast. :'''Flash''': Fastest man alive. :'''Hawkgirl''': Which might explain why you can't get a date. :'''Flash''': Yeah... Hey! What's that supposed to mean? <hr width="50%"/> :''[Luthor is knocked back during the battle with the Justice League]'' :'''Ultra-Humanite''': There goes our paycheck. ''[catches him]'' I'd hate to see anything happen to you, Lex. :'''Lex Luthor''': I'm sure! <hr width="50%"/> :''[About [[w:Copperhead (DC comics)|Copperhead]], who was captured after biting Batman]'' :'''Superman''': I'm going down to interrogate him. :'''Batman''': Alright. Let's go. :'''Superman''': No, you're staying here. That venom almost killed you. :'''Batman''': So? :'''Superman''': SO, you're staying here. :'''Batman''': ''[watches Superman leave]'' Right. ''[sits up and removes wrist IV]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Batman, recovering from being poisoned, is typing at a computer.]'' :'''Martian Manhunter''': You really should be resting. ''[Batman keeps typing]'' I know this must be hard for you, feeling vulnerable. You're the only one of us without special powers, but you don't need to prove yourself. You're a valued member of this team, and we're only trying to- :'''Batman''': ''[Gets up]'' I'm taking the shuttle. Unless ''you'' want to try and stop me. :'''Martian Manhunter''': ''[pauses]'' No. ''[moves out of the way]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[After the Injustice Gang fail to defeat the Justice League]'' :'''Lex Luthor''': "The best at what you do". What was I thinking?! :'''[[w:Cheetah (comics)|Cheetah]]''': We did everything we could. :'''Lex Luthor''': Did you? Did you fight like your lives depended on it? Did you fight to the last man? :'''Shade''': You get what you pay for, Luthor. :'''Lex Luthor''': Are you saying you want MORE money? You want to be rewarded for failure?! I oughta take the whole bunch of you and- :'''[[w:Solomon Grundy (comics)|Solomon Grundy]]''': ''[grabs him around the neck]'' And what?! :'''Lex Luthor''': Go ahead! Do it! You'll be saving me months of bedpans and feeding tubes! And you'll also guarantee that none of you will ever see a penny from me! :'''Solomon Grundy''': ''[pauses, then drops Luthor]'' You're crazy. :'''[[w:Joker (comics)|Joker]]''': ''[entering]'' And what's wrong with that? It's done wonders for me! :'''Lex Luthor''': ''[annoyed]'' Get out of here! :'''Joker''': Oh, Lexy, I'm hurt! How could you have this little party without inviting me? :'''Lex Luthor''': It's ''not'' a party. Grundy, get rid of him. :''[Grundy moves towards Joker only to be knocked out by him]'' :'''Joker''': But seriously Lex, you need me. :'''Lex Luthor''': Like I need skin rash. :'''Joker''': Maybe so, but I know something you don't know: I know how the Bat thinks! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': Lex, Lex, listen to someone who KNOWS. ''[whispering and pointing to Luthor's gun]'' Don't wait. Do it now. :'''Lex Luthor''': You don't like my decisions? Leave! ''[pushes him away]'' :'''Joker''': And they say ''I'm'' crazy. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Superman and Flash interrogate Copperhead]'' :'''Copperhead''': I keep telling you, I don't know anything! I'm just... :'''Superman, Flash and Copperhead''': ... "an innocent victim of circumstances". :'''Flash''': Yeah, yeah, we know. :''[Superman grabs Copperhead and pushes him against a wall]'' :'''Superman''': Copperhead, when are you going to get some sense and tell us where Luthor is?! :'''Copperhead''': ''[not intimidated]'' Oooh, this must be the part where I get so scared, I spill my guts. :'''Superman''': I'm warning you... :'''Copperhead''': What are you gonna do, boy-scout? Short my sheets? Give me a wedgie? :'''Superman''': ''[drops Copperhead, and turns to two guards]'' Take him back to a holding cell. :'''Copperhead''': ''[being taken away]'' Hasta la vista! ''[hisses]'' :'''Flash''': ''[sarcastically]'' That went well. :'''Superman''': How does Batman do it? <hr width="50%"/> :''[Cheetah is supposed to be guarding Batman, but they end up talking about her past]'' :'''Batman''': So what happened then? :'''Cheetah''': My research opened up whole new worlds. There was so much to do... :'''Batman''': But so little funding. :'''Cheetah''': You know about that? :'''Batman''': You didn't have enough for research subjects, so you used yourself. :'''Cheetah''': And now I'm a freak. :'''Batman''': That's not what I see. I see someone who was willing to sacrifice everything for a cause she believed in. :'''Cheetah''': ''[softens]'' How do you know so much about me? :'''Batman''': Let's just say, cats aren't the only creatures who are curious. :'''Cheetah''': ''[sidles up to him]'' Too much curiosity can be dangerous. :'''Batman''': Maybe I ''like'' danger. :'''Cheetah''': Do you? :'''Batman''': ''[whispers]'' Try me. :''[She kisses him]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[While Cheetah "guards" Batman]'' :'''Joker''': She's been down there too long... :'''Lex Luthor''': Forget it. There's no way I'm going to leave you alone with him. :'''Joker''': But, Lexy, where's your sense of fun? Besides, it won't cost you a cent! <hr width="50%"/> :''[Luthor stumbles, clutching his heart]'' :'''Shade''': Maybe we should get paid now... <hr width="50%"/> :'''Lex Luthor''': ''[as the villains desert him]'' No! We can still win if we lure them here! I have a plan, but we've got to stick together. :'''Solomon Grundy''': Grundy not THAT dumb. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': [[w:Hello Kitty|Hello, Kitty!]] ''[knocks Cheetah out with a high-voltage joy-buzzer]'' And they say I'm not a team player. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Lex Luthor''': ''[attacking Superman with Kryptonite radiation]'' Why so surprised, Superman? It's a basic rule of business: turn every weakness into a strength. Of course, that's a lesson you won't live to appreciate. :'''Ultra-Humanite''': Neither will YOU, Lex. ''[electrocutes him from behind]'' :'''Lex Luthor''': ''[dazed]'' [[w:Et tu, Brute?|Et tu, Humanite?]] ''[passes out]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': Whoopsie! Time to run. But there is still one unfinished piece of business... <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': No fair! How did you get free?! :'''Batman''': I could have escaped any time. But I thought I'd hang around to keep an eye on you clowns. ''[punches Joker]'' :'''Joker''': ''[dazed]'' [[w:Daffy Duck|You're dethpicable!]] :''[Joker passes out. The corner of Batman's mouth turns up in a slight smile.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Luthor and Ultra-Humanite are back in prison]'' :'''Lex Luthor''': HUMANITE! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, YOU TURNCOAT! DO YOU HEAR?! YOU'LL PAY! :''[Ultra-Humanite is contentedly watching the Culture Channel on TV with a satisfied smile on his face]'' :'''TV Announcer''': This program was made possible by a grant from the Ultra-Humanite, and viewers like you. ===''Paradise Lost'' [1.10-11]=== :'''Wonder Woman''': I've got you little sister. :'''Cassie''': You're not my sister! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': My mother used to say the planets revolved around me. She called me her little sun and stars. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': ''[practicing for her return to Themyscira]'' "You look more radiant than ever, Mother..". No. ''[tries again]'' "Gone, Mother? I didn't go anywhere. I was in my room... alone... for eight months..". Definitely not. ''[tries again]'' "The world was in peril! Would you have me stand by and do nothing...?" Hera give me strength... <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': I am Diana, Princess of the Amazons! ''I won't be denied!'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Picture it - The sun. The sea. Hundreds of women just like her running around, and me: the first man they've seen in... oh, maybe forever. Oh, and look what I brought: Iced mochas for everyone! Sweet. :'''Martian Manhunter''': I fail to see the attraction. :'''Flash''': Man, you really are from Mars. :'''Martian Manhunter''': Perhaps we should concentrate on finding the relic. :'''Flash''': No problem. ''[Flash grabs the crystal, speeds into the temple, and returns carrying the pot with the relic]'' See? That was easy. ''[a giant, fire breathing snake emerges from the ground]'' Or not! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': ''[walking through a mall]'' It's like some kind of temple. :'''Superman''': Yes, for those who worship their credit cards. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': He swore revenge on those that mocked him, and several later disappeared under mysterious circumstances. :'''Wonder Woman''': I have a pretty good idea what happened to them. :''[Points to three stone faces with horrified looks]'' :'''Flash''': EW! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': Don’t touch that. :''[Energy blast goes off and Batman drops to the floor to dodge it]'' :'''Flash''': Oops! :'''Batman''': Don’t touch anything! We don’t know what kind of powers we’re dealing with. :''[The rest of The League quickly drops what they’re holding before Batman turns around]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Descending to the gateway to Tartarus]'' :'''Flash''': Ugh - what's that smell? :'''Wonder Woman''': Don't ask. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Felix Faust''': Thank you for your assistance. But now that your usefulness is over...Petropa kis- WHAT?! :''[Flash runs past and steals the amulet]'' :'''Flash''': You're not the only one with an ace up your sleeve. :'''Felix Faust''': W-what is this? :''[Batman swings in and knocks Faust to the ground]'' :'''Hippolyta''': You brought men here? To Themyscira?! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': What did you ever see in him? :'''Hippolyta''': ''[dryly]'' Ancient history. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hippolyta''': ''[As the Justice League leaves Themyscira]'' May Hera watch over you...my little sun and stars. ===''War World'' [1.12-13]=== :'''[[w:Mongul|Mongul]]''': Rebellion? There's not going to be any rebellion. Not if I can keep giving them fights - good ones. Enough to take their minds off their troubles. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Draaga''': Shall I spare him my lord? :'''[[w:Mongul|Mongul]]''': What say the rest of you. ''[Crowd jeers]'' The people have spoken. LONG LIVE DEMOCRACY! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Draaga''': Pathetic. The whole lot of you. Not a real warrior in the bunch. And you, the Kryptonian, you're the biggest disappointment of all. ''[Spits on Superman and walks away. Superman breaks out of his chains]'' :'''Alien''': Why didn't you do that when Draaga was here? :'''Superman''': It's called "turning the other cheek." <hr width="50%"/> :'''Alien''': I don't know if he's brave or just plain crazy. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': Relax. All we want is information about our friends. You can talk to me... ''[points to Hawkgirl]'' Or you can talk to ''her''. ''[Hawkgirl slaps her mace into one hand]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Mongul''': Are you ready, Kryptonian? :'''Superman''': I won't fight for your amusement, Mongul. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': Draaga, we don't have to do this! :'''[[w:Draaga|Draaga]]''': You don't have a choice - neither of us does. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Security robots are attempting to destroy Superman as the crowd (and the Martian Manhunter) look on.]'' :'''Martian Manhunter''': No! The Kryptonian won! Don't you want to see him fight again? :'''Spectator''': I gotta admit, he's a real champ! :'''Martian Manhunter''': He's more than that - he's a Superman! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Mongul''': Hear what they think of their new hero now? Game over! :'''Green Lantern''': Not yet. We're going into overtime. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': You've earned a chance for a whole new life. :'''Draaga''': What's life without honor? I'm not worthy. :'''Superman''': Draaga, the real test of honor isn't how you die. It's how you live. ===''The Brave And The Bold'' [1.14-15]=== :'''Flash''': Easy, boy. We'll have you back behind monkey bars before we know it. :'''[[w:Solovar|Solovar]]''': [[W:Planet of the Apes franchise|Get your stinking paws off me, you filthy human!]] :'''Flash''': Say what?! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': I can't think - I'm tired and hungry... :'''Detective''': Maybe some coffee will help. How do you take it? :'''Flash''': Cream and 37 sugars. ''[the detective starts, then looks at him incredulously]'' Really. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Let's see, after I caught the gorilla, he told me that... :'''Green Lantern''': He ''talked'' to you? :'''Flash''': Yeah, right after I stopped his car. :'''Green Lantern''': I'm supposed to believe this? :'''Flash''': Hey, we've both got a Martian's phone number on our speed dial. I think I deserve the benefit of the doubt here. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Gorilla Grodd|Grodd]]''': ''[after punching Flash]'' That's for the banana. I hate bananas. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Green Lantern blasts Solovar]'' :'''Solovar''': Was that really necessary? :'''Green Lantern''': Okay, so he ''can'' talk. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Grodd''': My apologies for the hasty exit, but I have a city to destroy! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Weird. Am I the only one creeped out here? Where is everyone? :'''Solovar''': Perhaps the shield frightened them. :'''Flash''': Could be. But usually, when a city looks this empty, flesh-eating zombies are involved. :'''Green Lantern''': You watch too many movies. :''[Promptly afterwards, they hear a large crowd ranting]'' :'''Flash''': Maybe you don't watch enough! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Dr. Sarah Corwin''': ''[fires at Flash, only to suddenly find him next to her]'' How... :'''Flash''': You blinked. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Gorilla Grodd''': People of [[w:Central City (DC Comics)|Central City]]! The age of hairless, simple-minded humanity is over! Today, a new age dawns. Today, Grodd rules. ''[crowd cheers]'' Humans are slow, ugly, immoral, and have an unpleasant body odor! :'''Flash''': Hey, who you calling slow?! :'''Green Lantern''': Flash, don't heckle the supervillain. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Solovar''': Flash! I can't hold them off much longer! :'''Flash''': How much do you weigh? :'''Solovar''': About four hundred of your pounds. Why do you AAAAAAAAAAAAAA-! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Grodd''': You're a bigger fool than I thought. :'''Flash''': Oh yeah?! Well, you're... naked! :'''Grodd''': ''[preparing to don his helmet]'' The world will miss your sparkling intellect. Goodbye, Flash. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Not bad, huh? I outsmarted a super-genius! :'''Green Lantern''': Guess you're not as dumb as you look. :'''Flash''': Yeah! and I... Hey, I resent that! Nobody makes a monkey out of me! ===''Fury'' [1.16-17]=== :'''Copperhead''': ''[About Aresia]'' I like her style. :'''Shade''': A definite improvement over Luthor. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Saleswoman''': It's the latest scent! Wear this, and you'll have to beat the men off with a stick. :'''Wonder Woman''': Believe me - I don't need a stick. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': An Amazon? That's ridiculous! :'''Batman''': I don't think so. ''[pulls out Aresia's necklace]'' I managed to take this off her. ''[throws it to Wonder Woman, who catches it]'' It's an Amazon design, isn't it? :'''Wonder Woman''': Yes... but it could be a forgery. ''[throws necklace back to Batman]'' Besides, Amazons don't steal; it's against our code. And we ''never'' leave the island. ''[turns to leave]'' :'''Batman''': ''[pointedly]'' Never? :''[Wonder Woman stops short at this]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Hawkgirl and Queen Hippolyta make their way towards a tower by a cliff]'' :'''Hippolyta''': That necklace belongs to Aresia - she's supposed to be here in solitary meditation. :''[They make their way up up the tower, only to find an empty room]'' :'''Hawkgirl''': Looks like she got tired of contemplating her navel. Nobody's been here in weeks! :'''Hippolyta''': I feared as much... :'''Hawkgirl''': So why was she in here? Did she do something wrong? :'''Hippolyta''': No. It was the final step of her rebirth. You see, Aresia was not born an Amazon - she comes from Man's World. When she was but a child, her homeland became the battlefield for a bloody and senseless war. The victors were cruel, and denied even the basic humanity of their defeated foes. Soon neighbours, friends and schoolmates were all gone. Her family had no choice but to flee. They eventually made their way to a refugee ship... but even here fate was not kind. Pirates raided the ship and stole their few meager possessions. ''[flashback shows the pirates firing at the ship, sinking it]'' Aresia survived, clinging to a piece of floating wreckage. Miraculously, she washed ashore here, on Themyscira. I found her, and nursed her back to health. Then, we Amazons adopted her, trained her, and magically endowed her with Amazon strength. I've often wondered if we did the right thing... Still, how could we refuse? :'''Hawkgirl''': You couldn't. :'''Hippolyta''': And now, she's deserted us. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hawkgirl''': ''[walks up to a chest]'' Maybe we'll find some answers in here. ''[lifts the lid open]'' :'''Hippolyta''': What is it? :'''Hawkgirl''': Books. ''[pulls one out]'' Maps, city guides... :'''Hippolyta''': These things are forbidden here! :'''Hawkgirl''': Why? :'''Hippolyta''': We believe contact with outside world could corrupt us. :'''Hawkgirl''': ''[regards book in her hands, entitled "History of Germ Warfare"]'' It's sure starting to look that way. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': So this Aresia is not really an Amazon? :'''Hawkgirl''': She's an orphan. It's hard to imagine what that kind of trauma could do to a child. :''[Batman gives her a pointed frown]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Katana (DC Comics)|Tsukuri]]''': So the poison only effects men? :'''[[w:Fury (DC Comics)|Aresia]]''': Exactly. That's why it didn't hurt you two. :'''[[w:Star Sapphire (character)|Star Sapphire]]''': But why? What do you have to gain from all of this? :'''Aresia''': ''[indignant]'' "What do I have to gain"?! Look around you: Man's World is filled with greed, deception and cruelty! But ''I'm'' going to change all that! Today, we women take control! :'''Star Sapphire''': You can't be serious. :'''Aresia''': ''[sneers]'' Can't I? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': ''[about Aresia, to Hawkgirl]'' Even when she was a child, I could sense a bitterness within in her. She was never really one of us. :'''Hawkgirl''': I think she fits in pretty well. :'''Wonder Woman''': ''[shocked]'' How can you say that?! :'''Hawkgirl''': Aresia's just taking her precious Amazon code to its logical extension. :'''Wonder Woman''': We don't teach hatred! :'''Hawkgirl''': Except when it comes to men. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Aresia''': ''[looking at a jet]'' It's perfect... Absolutely perfect! :'''Hippolyta''': ''[appearing behind her]'' For what? More betrayal? More destruction? :'''Aresia''': Your Highness! ''[bows]'' You of all people should understand why I'm doing this! :'''Hippolyta''': No! You have violated sacred Amazonian law! :'''Aresia''': ''[smirking]'' I'm sorry you see it that way. ''[Tsukuri knocks Hippolyta down]'' But I've come too far to turn back now. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': ''[lands in front of a female firefighter]'' Do you need help here? :'''Female Firefighter''': ''[wiping soot off her face]'' Thanks, but we finally got this one contained. :'''Hawkgirl''': ''[to a female paramedic]'' Any remaining victims? :'''Female Paramedic''': Just sent the last one to Gotham General. :'''Female Firefighter''': ''[to her squad]'' Alright ladies, let's wrap this up! ''[the other female firefighters climb onto the firetruck as it drives away]'' :'''Hawkgirl''': They seem to be on top of things. Impressive. :'''Wonder Woman''': ''[proudly]'' Almost reminds me of home. :'''Hawkgirl''': But who wants to live in a world without men? :'''Wonder Woman''': They can't possibly be that essential to your life. :'''Hawkgirl''': Don't knock it 'til you've tried it, Princess. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Aresia''': We'll be at the launch site at less than an hour. :'''Star Sapphire''': And then? :'''Aresia''': I shoot these [[w:Cruise missile|cruise missiles]] into the upper atmosphere; After they explode, the winds will scatter my poison all over the world. :'''Star Sapphire''': And I can say goodbye to some very unpleasant men I've known over the years. :'''Aresia''': You can say good bye to ''all'' of them. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Aresia''': You fools! Don't you see? We're not your enemy, it's the men! They must be destroyed. :'''Hippolyta''': You're wrong Aresia. Without men, you wouldn't still be here. After your ship sank, you must have lost consciousness as you drifted on your makeshift raft. You would surely have drowned had the ship's captain not found you and pulled you to safety. Valiantly he struggled to keep you alive until he brought you to the shores of Themyscira. But the effort was too much for his heart. His final resting place is a simple, unmarked grave. He's the only man ever buried on Themyscira. So you see, for all your hatred of men, it turns out you owe your life to one. :'''Aresia''': ...''Why'' didn't you ever tell me about this? :'''Hippolyta''': I didn't think it was important. ''[ashamed]'' I didn't think ''he'' was important. :'''Hawkgirl''': Maybe it's time to reconsider that. :'''Aresia''': So everything you ever preached was a lie? :'''Hippolyta''': Not everything. :'''Aresia''': ''[beat]'' Still, the acts of one man cannot redeem the sins of his kind! ''[turns toward the control panel]'' They ''all'' must pay! :'''Hippolyta''': NO! ''[Aresia knocks her out of the landing bay doors]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Hawkgirl sabotages the missile launch, causing them to activate in the plane]'' :'''Aresia''': ''[to Tsukuri]'' Shut the missile off! :'''Tsukuri''': It's too late! ''[grabs a jetpack]'' :'''Aresia''': Wait! You can't leave! :'''Tsukuri''': ''[shrugs on the jetpack]'' I like you, but not ''that'' much! ''[jumps out the landing bay doors]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Aresia's plane explodes and sinks into the ocean]'' :'''Hippolyta''': ''[solemnly]'' Poor Aresia. May the gods grant her peace at last. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': If only Aresia could have learned to see the noble qualities of men. :'''Flash''': ''[eating a donut]'' I definitely could have taught that bad babe a thing or two about guys. Too bad we never met. ''[washes it down with a soda; burps]'' :'''Wonder Woman''': Maybe it's... just as well. ===''Legends'' [1.18-19]=== :'''Sergeant O'Shaugnessy''': Music Master! Put up your hands and drop the Stradivarius! :'''[[w:Fiddler (comics)|Music Master]]''': Sorry, Sergeant - I don't take requests. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hawkgirl''': ''[strained, to Black Siren]'' So, you fight crime AND bake cookies. How DO you do it? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': I know it sounds corny, but those comics taught me what it meant to be a hero. Without them... well, maybe I wouldn't have this ring today. :'''Flash''': Oh-KAY. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Hawkgirl walks by with a tray of cookies.]'' :'''Flash''': Hey, Cookie. :'''Hawkgirl''': One word and you'll be the fastest man alive WITH A LIMP. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Ray Thompson''': Can I come? Can I? Can I? :'''Martian Manhunter''': I would hesitate to put the boy in harm's way. :'''Cat Man''': Sure thing, little buddy! :'''Ray Thompson''': Oh, boy! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Streak''': Obviously the clue "fire" can mean only one thing. The plan to steal the fabled Flame of Rasputin. A precious ruby necklace on loan to the Seaboard City Museum! :'''Green Lantern''': You know your stuff. It's an honor to fight beside you. :'''[[w:Flash (Jay Garrick)|Streak]]''': The feeling's mutual. Your a credit to your people, son. :'''Green Lantern''': Uh... thanks? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Is it just me, or are they the only cops in this town? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Streak''': ''[after Sir Swami escapes]'' A pity he uses his talents for evil, rather than entertain children at birthday parties. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Music Master''': This calls for a little travelling music. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Music Master''': Badaba to the fat lady - may she keep on singing! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Dr. Blizzard''': If you'll excuse me, Mr. Mayor, but I'll be taking off with my "chill" gotten gains. :'''Flash''': Chill out, Blizzard. We're putting you on ice! :'''Dr. Blizzard''': Forgive me if I give you the cold shoulder. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Like I said, you never had a snowball's chance in- :'''[[w:Black Canary|Black Siren]]''': Flash, look! :''[Flash sees a truck full of dynamite on a collision course with a bus full of nuns, who gasp and cross themselves.]'' :'''Flash''': You've gotta be kidding. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Icicle (comics)|Dr. Blizzard]]''': Ha! You can't escape my killing chill. :'''Flash''': I'm just getting warmed up! <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Sportsmaster|The Sportsman]]''': What's this? New player? No matter, watch the birdie. ''[explosion throws Catman forward]'' Game, Set, Match. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': ''[seeing the giant robot created to attack them]'' That's it. I officially want to go home. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Green Guardsman gets distracted seeing Ray brutally attack and defeat the Justice League]'' :'''[[w: Alan Scott|Green Guardsman]]''': The Justice League needs our help! ''[starts to fly toward them]'' :'''[[w:Superman (Earth-Two)|Tom]] [[w:Atom (Al Pratt)|Turbine]]''': WAIT! If what they said true, then defeating Ray could destroy this reality and everything in it! :'''Black Siren''': Including us. ''[Cat Man puts his arm around her]'' :''[The Justice Guild linger for a moment, wondering what to do, when Green Lantern starts screaming in pain]'' :'''Streak''': We died once to save this Earth. And we can do it again. :''[The Justice Guild converge on Ray]'' :'''Ray Thompson''': ''[to Green Lantern]'' You'll be sorry you messed things up! ''[Streak punches him]'' What is this!? :'''Tom Turbine''': In Seaboard City, crime doesn't pay. ''[pummels the ground, sending Ray flying backwards]'' :'''Ray Thompson''': ''[to the Guild, in shock]'' You can't! I ''made'' you! :'''Justice Guild''': ''[in unison]'' Let justice prevail! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hawkgirl''': Are you okay? :'''Green Lantern''': It's stupid really - why should I feel like this? I mean, they weren't even real. :'''Hawkgirl''': They gave their lives for us. That's real enough for me. ===''A Knight Of Shadows'' [1.20-21]=== :'''Jason Blood''': Gone, gone the form of man. Rise the demon Etrigan! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Etrigan''': For the past generation she has hidden from me, but I will never rest until her soul burns in the Eternal Pit. :'''Flash''': And I thought Bats was creepy. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Etrigan''': The witch has an amulet which can sense when I'm drawing near. :'''Flash''': With that stench, who needs an amulet? <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Etrigan the Demon|Etrigan]]''': Heed me. She will tap into your deepest desires, and dangle them like a carrot in front of your nose. She will give you everything you dream of - but only until she gets what she wants. :'''Batman''': The voice of experience? :'''Etrigan''': ''[grumbles]'' Don't say I didn't warn you. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Morgaine le Fey (DC Comics)|Morgaine le Fey]]''': ''[after draining the Hall of Records clerk of her life energy]'' Youth is so wasted on the young. ''[looks around at the computers]'' Don't these people believe in books anymore? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Etrigan''': I still don't trust that Martian. He's damaged goods. :'''Batman''': I trust J'onn with my life. :'''Etrigan''': I'll send flowers. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Flash and Wonder Woman try to get into Harv Hickman's Halloween party]'' :'''Flash''': Harv Hickman? The magazine publisher? :'''Wonder Woman''': You know his work? :'''Flash''': I, uh, only read it for the articles. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': ''[elbowing through crowd]'' Sorry, official world-saving business. :'''Bouncer''': Are you on the list? :'''Wonder Woman''': This is an emergency. We're with the Justice League. :'''Bouncer''': Heh. Sure, lady. ''[gestures to costumed party-goers, some dressed as superheroes]'' So are they. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Martian Manhunter''': ''[to Batman]'' I know what I experienced was an illusion, but it felt so ''real''. The urge to embrace it was more than I could bear. Sometimes I believe I would do anything to see my loved ones again. You can't imagine how that feels. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': Let me understand this - you possess the most powerful object in the world, and yet all you wished for is money and women? :'''Harv Hickman''': What else is there? <hr width="50%"/> :''[chatting up the two models at the Hickman Mansion]'' :'''Flash''': Superman? Yeah, he's a close personal friend... <hr width="50%"/> :''[Diana bursts into the grotto]'' :'''Wonder Woman''': Morgaine's here! :''[A giant worm rears up behind them]'' :'''Flash''': Yeah, I kind of gathered that. <hr width="50%"/> :''[After Morgaine le Fey successfully uses the Martian Manhunter to steal the Stone from the Watchtower]'' :'''Etrigan''': You ''stupid'', ignorant, pathetic excuses for heroes! :'''Wonder Woman''': It can't be.... :'''Etrigan''': Oh, really, your highness?! Take another look! I pursued that witch for centuries, and yet you've blindly ignored my warnings and doomed the world! :'''Wonder Woman''': Enough! ''[slaps him]'' :'''Etrigan''': ''[rubs jaw]'' The truth hurts, doesn't it, Princess? :'''Wonder Woman''': Why don't you go straight to- :'''Flash''': ''[rushing in]'' More bad news! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': ''[putting the Philosopher's Stone in the Watchtower vault]'' Ha. I'd like to see her try and get it now. :'''Etrigan''': Be careful what you wish for, little man. :'''Flash''': Well, aren't you a ray of sunshine? As far as I'm concerned, this mission's over. The world's safe again and I for one am gonna kick back. So go find some other house to haunt! ''[leaves]'' :'''Wonder Woman''': He didn't mean that. :'''Etrigan''': Do you think I care? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': ''[After teleporting through dimensions]'' Ding! Fifth floor, hardware, sporting goods, evil sorceresses! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': Flash is right. There's something unsettling about your friend. When he stares, it's like he's looking into my very soul. :'''Batman''': True. But I'd rather have him with us than against us. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Modred''': Get out of my castle! ''[Fires blasts at Flash and Wonder Woman]'' :'''Flash''': Whoa, the kid's got chops too. :'''Wonder Woman''': The rotten apple doesn't fall far from the tree. ===''Metamorphosis'' [1.22-23]=== :'''Oil Driller''': 870 feet. We drill much deeper, and we'll hit New Zealand. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Metamorpho|Rex Mason]]''': Still in uniform, I see - though it's not exactly standard Marine corps issue. :'''Green Lantern''': I signed up with a new unit. :'''Rex Mason''': So I heard. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Rex Mason''': Working for an outfit like Stagg Enterprises does have its perks.. :'''John Stewart''': No kidding. :'''Rex Mason''': But so must wearing that ring. A big hero like you makes a fortune on the side, right? :'''John Stewart''': Mmm... it doesn't work like that. I've hardly got more than the clothes on my back. :'''Sapphire Stagg''': ''[appearing]'' Well then, we simply must take you shopping. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': I've never thought much about the choices I've made. Maybe if I'd taken the other road, I'd be where Mason is now. Rich, successful... :'''Hawkgirl''': ''[wryly]'' And engaged to a beautiful woman? :''[He grins at her]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Bank Robber''': ''[riding in armored car, sees Justice League]'' Uh-oh. Long-Johns at 10:00. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Sapphire Stagg''': No wonder he always looked up to you. :'''John Stewart''': Me? He's the one who had it made. :'''Sapphire Stagg''': No. He watches you on the news all the time. He still misses it—being in action, saving people's lives. I think he'd trade places with you in a minute. ===''The Savage Time'' [1.24-26]=== :'''Superman''': Prepare the landing bay. We’re coming in. :'''Batman''': Just when I was starting to enjoy the peace and quiet. :'''Superman''': Same old Bats. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Stormtrooper''': You heard me?! Let's see your identity papers. Now! :'''Flash''': Sorry, but my identity's a secret. Chicks dig that whole "man of mystery" thing. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Bats, you're starting to scare me. :'''Alternate Batman''': I scare a lot of people. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Alternate Batman''': The resistance might be able to use you, but you're going to have to prove we can trust you. :'''Green Lantern''': Are you kidding? You've known us for years! :''[Bruce takes a gun from one of his soldiers and points it at Lantern's face without a flicker of expression]'' :'''Alternate Batman''': You must have me confused with someone else. <hr width="50%"/> :''[On a speeding train, the League are all thrown into a pile]'' :'''Hawkgirl''': Whose hand is that? :'''Flash''': Sorry. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Martian Manhunter''': You understand that if we do change the past, you - this version of you - will never have existed? :'''Alternate Batman''': Nothing would make me happier. <hr width="50%"/> :''[The League arrives in the past, in the German-occupied France]'' :'''Flash''': Great Jumpin' Hera! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': ''[about the Blackhawks]'' Friends of yours? :'''Hawkgirl''': They are now. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Vandal Savage|Vandal Savage]]''': ''[seeing Martian Manhunter]'' Who would have thought the [[w:Übermensch|Übermensch]] would be green? :'''Martian Manhunter''': Übermensch? :'''Vandal Savage''': The superior man. Those destined to lead the world. :'''Martian Manhunter''': I thought that was your goal. :'''Vandal Savage''': My only desire is peace, progress, unity... :'''Martian Manhunter''': With you in charge, of course. :'''Vandal Savage''': Why not? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Vandal Savage''': I'm not from the future... ''[gestures to a laptop computer]'' but this is. Sixty years from now, it will be a child's toy. But today, it's the most powerful weapon on Earth. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Martian Manhunter''': ''[observing the recording of Vandal Savage's future self]'' You age gracefully. :'''Vandal Savage''': You have no idea. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Vandal Savage''': Knowing the future, how can I not succeed? :'''Martian Manhunter''': I've seen your future. It doesn't work. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': You're a strange one, Steve Trevor. You have no special powers, yet you're willing to risk your life here. Aren't you afraid of dying? :'''[[w:Steve Trevor|Steve Trevor]]''': Some things are worth dying for, Angel. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': I've got a plane to catch! :'''[[w:Sgt. Rock|Sgt. Rock]]''': You can't stop 'em single-handed! :'''Green Lantern''': Watch me! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': You're not going anywhere! :'''Vandal Savage''': You think you can kill me? You're welcome to try. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': Say your prayers, Savage! :'''Vandal Savage''': A god doesn't grovel. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': What took you? :'''Hawkgirl''': I had to fix my hair. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': Batman! It’s really you! ''[hugs him]'' :'''Batman''': ''[awkwardly]''...Am I missing something? :'''Superman''': Sorry, it’s just that... well, it’s a long story. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Wonder Woman goes to visit an elderly Steve Trevor]'' :'''Wonder Woman''': Steve? :'''Steve Trevor''': ''[smiling]'' Angel. ==Season 2== ===''Twilight'' [2.1-2]=== :'''Martian Manhunter''': I was just thinking... you, me, Wonder Woman, Superman - we are all of us orphans and exiles. :'''Hawkgirl''': Maybe we should call ourselves the "Just Us League." <hr width="50%"/> :'''Desaad''': You knew going into that sector was a violation of our treaty with New Genesis. :'''Darkseid''': It was a calculated risk. You have served me well, General. Take as many of them with you as you can. :'''Steppenwolf''': ''[stares for a second then bows]'' As you command, my lord. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Highfather''': We know of your mad ambitions, Darkseid. This is your final warning: break the treaty again and you will be destroyed. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Desaad''': It was a fool's errand. ''[Darkseid is angered]'' Uh, what I mean to say is... :'''Darkseid''': No one questions me, Desaad. ''[Darkseid vaporizes Desaad]'' No one. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Kalibak''': Father! Father, do you see?! :'''Darkseid''': Be still, fool. I'm not blind. :'''Kalibak''': But what is it? :'''Darkseid''': It's death. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Darkseid''': Even as we speak, Apokolips is being assimilated by the Kryptonian menace known as Brainiac. :'''Superman''': You're lying. [[Superman: The Animated Series#Knight Time|I destroyed him.]] :'''Darkseid''': Apparently, he is harder to kill than you realized. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Darkseid informs Superman that Brainiac is still alive and is now attacking [[w:Apokolips|Apokolips]]]'' :'''[[w:Darkseid|Darkseid]]''': You know his pattern, Kal-El. Once he's finished siphoning the memory banks and technology of my planet... :'''Superman''': He'll annihilate it. Good. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hawkgirl''': So what are you saying? You'd sacrifice millions of lives just because you don't like this guy? :'''Superman''': You don't know Darkseid like I do. :'''Batman''': [[Superman: The Animated Series#Legacy|We know he used you, humiliated you, brainwashed you, wound you up like a tin soldier and turned you loose against Earth. ''[Gets right up in Superman's face]'' Cry me a river.]] On the outside chance that this isn't one of his schemes, we have to take action - so I suggest you get over it. :'''Martian Manhunter''': Brainiac has already destroyed countless civilizations, and now he threatens another. Do you want this to be the legacy of your people? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': Let me get this straight: Orion is Darkseid's own son? :'''Batman''': New Genesis and Apokolips have been at war for centuries. Apparently, Darkseid and Highfather exchanged sons as part of some kind of peace treaty... ''[Wonder Woman looks at Batman]'' Sounds wacky to me, too. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': Who are you? :'''Forager''': They call me [[w:Forager (comics)|Forager]]. :'''Batman''': Do you know someone named [[w:Orion (comics)|Orion]]? :'''Forager''': Orion! I am just an unworthy Bug; Orion is a god who is far above us. :'''Wonder Woman''': You're too modest. You've shown courage, compassion... :'''Forager''' : No, no, you don't understand! All the gods are far above us. ''[Points up into the sky towards [[w:New Genesis|Supertown]]]'' :'''Batman''': I'm gonna need a longer grapple. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Brainiac (comics)|Brainiac]]''': Welcome, Kal-El. Once I offered you the chance to join me in carrying on the legacy of Krypton. Today, I renew that offer. :'''Superman''': You must be joking. :'''Brainiac''': Why do you reject your great heritage? The entire history of your planet, its knowledge and splendor, its awe and mystery are encoded within me. :'''Hawkgirl''': Superman, don't- :''[Superman stops her]'' :'''Brainiac''': I ''am'' Krypton. :'''Superman''': You're a perversion, dishonoring the very memory of my father and all my people. :'''Brainiac''': And this is your final decision? :'''Superman''': Read my lips: Go. To- ''[Brainiac cuts him off]'' :'''Brainiac''': Unfortunate - but predictable. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Highfather|Highfather]]''': It's hard, isn't it? But we must lovingly tend our garden if we want it to grow strong and tall. :'''Sera''': I hate this. :'''Highfather''': What's wrong, child? :'''Sera''': I've tried, Highfather, really I have, but look! ''[Gestures to the small rosebush she's laboring over]'' :'''Highfather''': Patience, my dear. Everything has a purpose, and a place. :'''Sera''': Everything? ''[Flicks a large caterpillar off of a leaf]'' :'''Highfather''': Given time. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': ''[to Diana]'' Next time I let Superman take charge, just hit me. Real hard. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Brainiac''': You deceived me, Darkseid. Used me. :'''Darkseid''': It's what I do. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Darkseid''': ''[to Superman]'' You of all people should know that the universe is filled with chaos, confusion and uncertainty. I will tear it down to nothing, and then rebuild it, bringing order and discipline at last. Think of it, Superman - a new universe created in ''my'' image. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Martian Manhunter is using one of Brainiac's bodies as a shield as he uses the body's arm to shoot at the others.]'' :'''Batman''': Having fun? :'''Martian Manhunter''': Yes. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Darkseid''': I'm glad to see growing up with Highfather hasn't made you soft and weak. You make an old man proud. But I won't let you or anyone else stand in my way! ''[Darkseid bearhugs Orion into unconsciousness]'' Spare the rod... <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': Any minute now, Brainiac will explode. And guess what? You're going with him. ''[Darkseid reaches for Orion's Mother Box but Superman destroys it with his heat vision]'' No, Darkseid. To get off this rock, you'll have to go through me. :'''Darkseid''': You really are a glutton for punishment. Time and again, I've beaten you, humbled you. What makes you think today's outcome will be any different? :'''Superman''': Because this time, I won't stop until you're just a greasy smear on my fist. Let's go. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Darkseid''': This is where you belong, Superman, under my heel! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': Wait! Where is Superman? :'''Batman''': That idiot! ''[to others]'' I'll get him. The rest of you take off. Now! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Darkseid''': ''[Trapped on an exploding asteroid after Batman forces Superman to abandon their fight]'' Loser. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Superman watches the destroyed asteroids in the sky. Batman comes to him]'' :'''Batman''': Nothing could have survived that. Not even Darkseid. :'''Superman''': You know something, Bruce? ''[turns to Batman and walks right up in his face]'' You're ''not'' always right. ===''Tabula Rasa'' [2.3-4]=== :'''Wonder Woman''': Hera help us! :'''Green Lantern''': She'd better - no one else can. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Lex Luthor''': Help me. I'm... :'''Mercy Graves''': Sick... dying... and you couldn't do it somewhere else? <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Amazo|Amazo]]''': ''[upon scanning Batman]'' You don't have any powers. :'''Batman''': I have this. ''[Pulls out piece of kryptonite. Amazo begins to suffer its effects.]'' It's a package deal. You get our powers, but you get our weaknesses too. :''[Amazo jumps off the building into the sewer.]'' :'''Hawkgirl''': You always carry a piece of kryptonite with you? :'''Batman''': Call it insurance. :'''Hawkgirl''': And they say ''I'm'' scary. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Martian Manhunter lands in front of Amazo]'' :'''Lex Luthor''': You know what to do! :'''Martian Manhunter''': ''[calmly]'' Yes. You know. :''[Amazo scans J'onn and gains his abilities]'' :'''Lex Luthor''': Nothing can stop you now! You have all their powers! :'''Martian Manhunter''': Use them well. :''[Amazo reads Lex's mind, and realizes that he's been lied to.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': I say we let 'em waste each other. :'''Hawkgirl''': Since when do we do what ''you'' say? :'''Amazo''': So small, all of you. And so meaningless. There's nothing I want from you anymore. None of you has anything to offer me now. :''[Amazo flies into space]'' :'''Wonder Woman''': Where did he go? :'''Martian Manhunter''': Where gods belong. :'''[[w: Lex Luthor|Lex Luthor]]''': Oh stop. He's just a machine. I don't care how much power he has, he's no god. :'''Superman''': Then why do I have a feeling that if he ever comes back, you're going to be doing a lot of praying? :'''Martian Manhunter''': Perhaps we'll all be praying. ===''Only A Dream'' [2.5-6]=== :'''John Dee''': And I thought I'd actually have to break a sweat! :'''Superman''': ''[Flying in]'' I'll be doing the breaking around here! :'''John Dee''': ''[Transforms into a giant and crushes him between his hands]'' Yes. You break very nicely. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Police Officer''': Hold it right there, Grundy! This is as far as you go! :''[Grundy lifts a dumpster.]'' :'''[[w:Copperhead (DC Comics)|Copperhead]]''': Are you crazy?! :'''Grundy''': No, MAD! :'''Copperhead''': I'm SO dead... <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Say no more. :'''Batman''': I wasn't intending to. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': What were you working on? :'''Martian Manhunter''': Nothing. I was taking a nap. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Copperhead''': ''[jumps onto Hawkgirl's back]'' You're flying me outta here now, lady! :''[Hawkgirl flies straight up into the air, then stops]'' :'''Copperhead''': Well? Get me outta here! :'''Hawkgirl''': And what if I don't? :'''Copperhead''': ''[flicks his tongue]'' I give you your last kiss... :'''Hawkgirl''': And ''you'' fall forty stories. :''[Copperhead looks down in terror]'' :'''Hawkgirl''': ''[smiles]'' Didn't really think this through, did you? <hr width="50%"/> :''[Grundy crashes after a huge fall]'' :'''Hawkgirl''': ''[to Copperhead (who's still clinging to her)]'' He'll live. You won't. :'''Copperhead''': I'm not scared! :'''Green Lantern''': Then maybe this'll help: you do anything to her, and you won't even make it to the ground. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': Good bluff. :'''Hawkgirl''': Who was bluffing? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': Look, whatever he is, he's sure not in the same league as Grundy and the others. He's a nobody. :'''Batman''': Ever read the Odyssey? After Odysseus was caught by the cyclops, he told it his name was "Nobody". So when he poked its eye out and its friends asked who did it, all the cyclops could say was "nobody". :'''Green Lantern''': Point taken. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Child''': That was some sweet banter, Uncle Flash, but what's a cur? :'''Flash''': It's... a bad person! I guess... :'''Child''': OK... So why didn't you just say that? :'''Flash''': Well, I... :'''Child''': And do people really talk so much when they fight? :'''Flash''': I, uh... Hey! How'd you like a snack? <hr width="50%"/> :''[After Flash opens the fridge, finding a huge frog inside]'' :'''Child''': Where's my food? :'''The Flash''': Are you French? :'''Child''': No. :'''The Flash''': Then there's no food. :'''Child''': You'll do. ''[Boy bites The Flash's left leg]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': Don't worry. I'm used to late hours. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': ''[Barging into a coffee shop; slams some cash on the counter]'' Give me a triple. Now! <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Doctor Destiny|Doctor Destiny]]''': Coming here was the mistake of your life. See, the closer I am to someone, the stronger I get. I'll be able to go in your brain, even if you're wide awake. :'''Batman''': My brain's not a nice place to be. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Doctor Destiny''': What's that stupid song going through your mind?! :'''Batman''': It's what's keeping you out, Johnny. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Doctor Destiny''': You know, I could let you go. You're a distraction now. And it's the others who have the real problems. We're like insects to them. They step on us, ruin our lives, and they don't even realize it. But you're different. You don't have any special powers. :'''Batman''': Oh, I have one, Johnny: I never give up. ''[Batman starts humming the 'Frere Jacques' tune]'' ===''Maid Of Honor'' [2.7-8]=== :''[Wonder Woman has been swamped by admiring men, all eagerly asking questions about her famous battles.]'' :'''Bruce Wayne''': ''[offering his hand]'' May I have this dance? :'''Princess Diana''': ''[seizing the escape]'' Yes! ''[He leads her to the dance floor.]'' Thank you, Mr...? :'''Bruce Wayne''': [[James Bond|Wayne. Bruce Wayne]]. :'''Princess Diana''': I appreciate the rescue. :'''Bruce Wayne''': I'm surprised to see you here. From what I've heard, this isn't really your sort of affair. :'''Princess Diana''': I've decided to get out more, have a little fun. :'''Bruce Wayne''': ''[twirls her]'' Enjoying yourself so far? :'''Princess Diana''': More than I expected. How about you? What brings you to [[wikipedia:Paris|The City Of Lights]]? :'''Bruce Wayne''': I never miss a good party. I may also have to attend to some business while I'm in town. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Princess Audrey''': Stay back! You can't approach without my permission! :'''Militant Kaznian Dissident''': ''[points a gun at her]'' Permission, yes? <hr width="50%"/> :''[the roof breaks as Kazian revolutionaries slide into the room on cables.]'' :'''Bruce Wayne/Diana''': ''[simultaneously]'' Excuse me. :''[Bruce starts to hurry away, loosening his tie, but seeing Diana dive into the fight, he re-adjusts it and meanders through the room, dodging the Kaznians that Wonder Woman throws, nibbling on appetizers.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': Who are you working for? :'''Thief''': ''[in Kaznian]'' You can't understand a word I'm saying and I wouldn't tell you anything if you could. :'''Batman''': ''[in Kaznian]'' I can... ''[advances on him menacingly]'' ...and you will. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Princess Audrey''': ''[being hounded by paparazzi]'' Would you be a dear and pummel them mercilessly? :'''Princess Diana''': ''[lifts her into the air]'' I don't think that'll be necessary. ''[flies away]'' :'''Princess Audrey''': WHOO-HOO! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Princess Audrey''': Don't worry - I won't tell anyone that our great hero has feet of clay. :'''Princess Diana''': You have no idea. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': You're keeping late hours. :'''Diana''': You should talk. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Colonel Vox''': Apparently you didn't get the message. Let me make it loud and clear! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Princess Audrey''': Vandal, what do you think you are doing? :'''Vandal Savage''': ''[counting on his fingers]'' Destroying the Justice League, building a railgun, assuming total dominion over the nations of the earth... <hr width="50%"/> :''[J'onn, Flash, Lantern, and the crew leave the space station]'' :'''Flash''': Hey, we can't just leave, what's to stop somebody else from taking control of that thing. :''[the space station explodes]'' :'''Green Lantern''': That. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': ''[dismissively]'' You're in my way. ''[Hits Vandal Savage with a chair, keeps running past him]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': You know, we never did get to finish our dance. :'''Batman''': ''[showing no reaction]'' I don't know what you're talking about. :'''Wonder Woman''': If you say so. ''[takes his arm]'' But you're still taking me dancing. ===''Hearts And Minds'' [2.9-10]=== :''[in the Watchtower infirmary]'' :'''Flash''': Lucky for The Big K we've got Martian care on our League HMO. :'''Martian Manhunter''': Bolovax physiology is very similar to my own. :'''Hawkgirl''': And how much of this is guesswork? :'''Martian Manhunter''': I would rather not say. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': And what about this Katma Tui? :'''[[w:Kilowog|Kilowog]]''': I'm not sure what happened to her. She was the Green Lantern who trained John. :'''Hawkgirl''': They must have been close. :'''Kilowog''': Very close. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Flash and Kilowog check John's apartment for his power battery; Flash searches the fridge]'' :'''Flash''': Aha, I knew it! Johnny does have a kink in his armor. Bob and Terry's. :''[offers Kilowog ice cream; he eats it, container and all]'' :'''Kilowog''': Delicious! :'''Flash''': Riiight. Stick with me big guy, I'll open up a whole new world for you. ''[Runs over to TV]'' Hey, check this out! People's exhibit B; [[w:Old Yeller (1957 film)|''Old Yeller]'']. :''[Shows Kilowog the videocassette; he eats it.]'' :'''Kilowog''': Delicious! <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Despero|Despero]]''': Feel the power of my rage! Feel the power of my ''hate!'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Ah, you must be the mystery woman. :'''Katma Tui''': And you must be? :'''Flash''': Delighted to meet you. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Katma Tui|Katma Tui]]''': So, do you still snore? :'''Green Lantern''': I wouldn't know. :'''Katma Tui''': Well, I'd like to stay and relive old times, but...it's the same drill as before. :'''Green Lantern''': Duty calls. :'''Katma Tui''': Duty calls. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Despero''': Go! The conquest begins now! Emblazon my word and will across the cosmos! <hr width="50%"/> :''[John discovers he can no longer use his ring properly]'' :'''Katma Tui''': Then we start over. I trained you once, I can do it again. :'''Green Lantern''': Back to basics? I don't think so. :'''Katma Tui''': The problem with half the Corps, you included, is that once you learn to use your rings like jackhammers, you forget the subtleties of manipulation and control! :'''Green Lantern''': I know, I know - "the mind is the weapon, not the metal." :'''Katma Tui''': At least you remember that much. It's time to relearn what you've learned. :'''Green Lantern''': Now you sound like [[w:Yoda|Yoda]]. :'''Katma Tui''': Look, you have two choices: let me help you retune your mental disciplines, or you can live with your emerald impotence. :''[Flash walks by at the last word]'' :'''Flash''': Impotence? ''[John and Katma look at him]'' Right...I-I was just goin' over there... :''[Speeds off]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Hawkgirl and Katma Tui watch John arming himself with guns]'': :'''Katma Tui''': I'm afraid he's finished. When this mission is over, we'll have to recall [[w:Kyle Rayner|Rayner]] to takeover John's sector. :'''Hawkgirl''': Just like that? :'''Katma Tui''': He's given up on himself. :'''Hakwgirl''': He's not the only one. But I guess that's what happens when a toy loses its luster. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Hawkgirl walks over to John]'': :'''Hawkgirl''': Are you going to need all those power cells? :'''Green Lantern''': If that's what it takes. I can still pull my weight, you know. There's more to me than just a fancy ring. :'''Hawkgirl''': I've always known that, John. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Despero''': ''[After binding Katma to the power of Py'tar]'' Now, who's next? ''[He goes over to Hawkgirl]'' :'''Green Lantern''': Keep away from her! :'''Despero''': The wings give her an exotic quality, wouldn't you agree? I don't think I'll put her in the army. I have just the place for her. As one of my personal attendants. :'''Green Lantern''': Don't even think about it. <hr width="50%"/> :''[J'onn rises from the white flame possessed by Py'tar with three eyes]'': :'''Flash''': Okay, we are officially spooked here. :'''Py'tar''': Hear me, o children of Kalanor. Behold, I am the Py'tar, the living soul of this planet. Despero is a great deceiver. He has misused my power for his own petty ends. I say unto thee the Py'tar is not a source of hatred, but a beacon of hope. In times gone by, Kalanor was a paradise. It can be again. But thou must reject the dark ways of Despero and step into the light. The choice is thine. ===''A Better World'' [2.11-12]=== :''[The Justice League is attacking the White House, with Luthor in the Oval Office]'' :'''President Luthor''': ''[to himself]'' They couldn't see the beauty! No imagination! They'd rather fight! :''[Superman bursts into the office]'' :'''Lord Superman''': Even this wasn't enough for you, was it? You had to have it all. Now we're on the brink of a war that could destroy the whole planet! :'''President Luthor''': Could've been so perfect... paradise... :'''Lord Superman''': And I let it get this far because of the law. And the will of the ''people.'' :'''President Luthor''': ''[laughing]'' The ''people?!'' This is all their fault! And they're gonna burn for it! ''Burn!'' :'''Lord Superman''': You're nothing but a mad dog now, aren't you? :'''President Luthor''': Ooh, a threat! But this old dog still has a few teeth! :''[Pulls out a drawer with a control box, and poises his finger above a red button. There is a pause.]'' :'''Lord Superman''': There are at least six different ways I can stop you right now. :'''President Luthor''': But they all involve deadly force, don't they? And you don't do that. ''[Superman is silent]'' No. You ''need'' me. You wouldn't be much of a hero without a villain, and you ''do'' love being a hero, don't you? The cheering children, the swooning women - you love it so much, it's made you my most reliable accomplice! :'''Lord Superman''': Accomplice?! What're you- :'''President Luthor''': You could have crushed me any time you wanted. And it wasn't the law or the will of the people that stopped you - it was your ego. Being a hero was too important to you. You're as much responsible for this as I am! So go ahead. Fix it somehow, put me on trial, lock me up - but I'll beat it. And then we'll start the whole thing all over again. :'''Lord Superman''': ...I did love being a hero. But if this is where it leads... I'm done with it. ''[eyes glow red]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Lord Green Lantern and Lord Hawkgirl arrive at the college protest]'' :'''Lord Green Lantern''': Punks. :'''Lord Hawkgirl''': Remember when everyone liked us? :'''Lord Green Lantern''': Since when does that matter to you? :'''Lord Hawkgirl''': Since I started seeing the fear on everyone's face. :'''Lord Green Lantern''': You wanna talk about fear? When I was a kid, I went to bed every night scared that the whole world was gonna blow up. That's the way things were back then, and folks just accepted it. They didn't think there could be a better way. Well, we found one. :'''Lord Hawkgirl''': So, do you sleep better now? :'''Lord Green Lantern''': You know I do. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Lord Superman eating soup with Lois Lane at her Apartment]'' :'''Lord Superman''': Cold. :'''Lois Lane''': It's Gazpacho, it's supposed to be. :'''Lord Superman''': I wasn't talking about the soup. You gonna tell me what's wrong? :'''Lois Lane''': After 2 years, you don't know? :'''Lord Superman''': Here we go. :'''Lois Lane''': The world's on permanent lockdown, free speech is all but dead, and you don't know what's wrong? :'''Lord Superman''': Lois, we've been over this a thousand times. Why can't you see the bigger picture? :'''Lois Lane''': I can see just fine, thank you. ''You're'' the one who can't see where this is leading. :'''Lord Superman''': Lois, we're doing everything we can to- ''[Lord Superman's Comlink beeps]'' Just a sec. Yeah? :'''Lois Lane''': Go ahead, finish. You're doing everything you can to what, make sure everyone bows down, and worship you? Is that it? :'''Lord Superman''': That's not what we want! Can't you just listen for a second?! :'''Lord Batman''': Ah, love. Sorry to interrupt, but I need to see you and the others. :'''Lord Superman''': I'm busy. :'''Lord Batman''': Now. :'''Lord Superman''': I gotta go. :'''Lois Lane''': We're not done with this. :'''Lord Superman''': I know. Believe me, I know. :'''Lois Lane''': You can't just write me off, like-like I'm some kind of hysterical- ''[Lois tries to follow Lord Superman out the door but is stopped by two Police Officers ]'' :'''Police Officer A''': Sorry, Ms. Lane. But you know the rules: No leaving the premises, no unauthorized guests, no phone calls. :'''Lois Lane''': Can't speak my mind, can't think. :'''Police Officer B''': It's only temporary, ma'am. They gave us their word. :'''Lois Lane''': Sucker. ''[Closes the door]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': ''[Referring to the Justice Lords' Martian Manhunter]'' Have you read his mind yet? :'''Martian Manhunter''': Martians don't do that to one another. :'''Batman''': Can't? Or won't? :'''Martian Manhunter''': Both. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': You've thought of everything. :'''Lord Batman''': No. Just everything you'll ever think of. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Batman is imprisoned; The Flash rapidly pushes buttons on a nearby control panel.]'' :'''Batman''': What are you doing? :'''The Flash''': Trying every possible combination. :'''Batman''': 9-1-9-3-9. ''[Date that the first Batman comic was published in Detective Comics]'' :''[Flash pauses, then punches it in, opening the door.]'' :'''Flash''': How'd you know? :'''Batman''': They're the numbers I use. How did you get out? :'''Flash''': I sped up my heart until it looked like it flat-lined. :'''Batman''': I didn't know you could do that. :'''Flash''': Neither did I, but I had to come up with something if you weren't going to. :'''Batman''': I couldn't - not with him anticipating everything I could ever think of. But who could anticipate ''you''? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Lord Batman''': What are you hiding for? :'''Batman''': I do my best work in the dark. :'''Lord Batman''': I used to think that too. But what have you ever accomplished from there? Aside from scaring a few punks half to death and putting a few more in jail? :'''Batman''': It all adds up. :'''Lord Batman''': Not fast enough. '''If you really want to make a difference, if you want to change the system instead of just patching it, you can't be subtle. You've got to step into the sunlight. Take over, like we did.''' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Lord Batman''': Think about it - a world where there's no crime, no victims, no pain. :'''Batman''': ''And'' no choice! Who elected you, anyway?! :'''Lord Batman''': Who elected ''you?'' The problem with democracy is, it doesn't keep you very safe. :'''Batman''': It has other virtues. But you seem to have forgotten them. :'''Lord Batman''': ''I'' didn't forget! I just chose peace and security instead. :'''Batman''': '''''You grabbed power!''''' :'''Lord Batman''': And ''with'' that power, we've made a world where no eight-year-old boy will ''ever'' lose his parents...because of [[w:Joe Chill| some punk with a gun]]! :'''Batman''': ''[pauses, then drops his Batarang]'' You win. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': They're as strong as we are and just as smart, but they're willing to kill. :'''Superman''': '''What are you saying - that we have to be willing to kill too? I won't cross that line.''' :'''Batman''': How else can we stop them? :'''Superman''': You're the smart one. You figure it out. :'''Batman''': We can't do it. Not unless we cross ''some'' kind of line. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Wow, Supes, you really know how to bring down the house! ''[Justice Lord Superman picks Flash up and raises his fist but then hesitates]'' Can't do it, can you? I'm the last piece of your conscience, and this is the one thing you'll never do. :'''Lord Superman''': '''I've done a lot of things I thought I'd never do these past two years. One more won't hurt.''' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Lex Luthor''': ''[aiming a weapon]'' This would be so sweet. ''[hands it to Superman]'' But... a deal's a deal. :'''Green Lantern''': What deal? :'''Superman''': A full pardon in exchange for his help. :'''Lord Superman''': Everything he does from now on is your fault! :'''Superman''': It's a high price - but it's better than the alternative. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Lex Luthor gives an interview after his pardon]'' :'''Lex Luthor''':...but I can't take full credit. I never would have been able to reconfigure the Disruptor without Superman's high-speed assistance. :'''Reporter 1''': Where is it now? :'''Lex Luthor''': I believe Superman has it. That was part of our arrangement. :'''Reporter 2''': Where do you go from here? Back to running LexCorp? :'''Lex Luthor''': Oh, the business-world doesn't seem as challenging as it used to. And there's no poetry in it either. I have been giving some thought to...''politics''. ===''Eclipsed'' [2.13-14]=== :'''Green Lantern''': ''[to Flash]'' Why do you need a van? Wait - don't answer that; I ''don't'' wanna know. <hr width="50%"/> :''[The Flash makes a surprise appearance on Gordon Godfrey's TV show]'' :'''[[w:Glorious Godfrey|Glorious Godfrey]]''': Ladies and gentlemen, it seems we have an unexpected guest. Not that we should be surprised. I mean, you're a superhero. You don't have to wait for an invitation. You go where you want, when you want. Right? :'''Flash''': Yeah, but... we're the good guys! :'''Glorious Godfrey''': Of course you are! And I'm sure you can account for the fact that since your so-called 'Justice League' formed, white-collar crime is up three percent! :'''Flash''': White-collar? That's not really our... :'''Glorious Godfrey''': Or maybe you'd care to explain why, on your watch, fifty percent of marriages now end in divorce... ''and the other fifty percent in death!'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': This bites! Your commercial's stupid, you're a no-talent hack and your doughnuts are stale! I'm outta here fast, fast, fast! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Glorious Godfrey''': Role models? Look, I've seen showgirls with more modesty than this so-called "Wonder Woman". :''[Wonder Woman smashes the TV screen with her fist]'' :'''Wonder Woman''': I will not tolerate this! :'''Green Lantern''': Princess, I don't like Godfrey anymore than you do, but in this country, the man's entitled to his opinion. However boneheaded it is. :'''Flash''': Democracy in action. Hey, didn't the Greeks invent that? :''[Wonder Woman walks over to the window and looks at her outfit]'' :'''Wonder Woman''': And what's wrong with the way I dress?! :'''Flash''':''[carefully]'' Uh... you wanna take that? <hr width="50%"/> :'''The Flash''': Where do these nuts come from? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': He torched the sewers. :'''Flash''': ''[Grinning]'' I was wondering what that smell was. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Flash and Green Lantern looking after an unconscious Wonder Woman]'' :'''Flash''': She doesn't look so hot. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Let's say I believe you, how do we stop it - uh, them? :'''Mophir''': Two ways. Pure light from Mophir's gem drives spirits back into Heart of Darkness. :'''Flash''': Great. What's the second way? :'''Mophir''': Separate host's head from body. :'''Flash''': ... Bummer. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': ''[possessed]'' You've lost, human. :'''Flash''': Maybe you're right. Maybe it is hopeless. But like Granny Flash used to say: "Why curse the dark, when you can light up a 700,000 watt candle!" <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': How can we stop it? :'''Martian Manhunter''': There is one possibility. To halt the process we would need to create an Einstein-Rosen Bridge to drain off the affecting anti-fusion matter. :'''Flash''': Create a what to do what? :'''Hawkgirl''': Make a wormhole to suck away the bad stuff. :'''Flash''': Oh. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': Bring home the gold, hotshot. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hawkgirl''': ''[on audio]'' Lantern, is he...? :'''Green Lantern''': He's in one piece. I think he's alright. ''[to an unconscious Flash]'' You hear me, buddy? You better be alright! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': ''[dreaming]'' Oh... Swirly lights... fuzzy grilled cheese... ''[wakes up]'' Huh? What happened? :'''Wonder Woman''': Flash, you did it! :'''Superman''': You saved everyone today. :'''Wonder Woman''': How are you feeling? :'''Flash''': Actually, kind of faint! ''[to Wonder Woman]'' I think I need some mouth-to-mouth. :'''Hawkgirl''': ''[quickly]'' He's fine. ===''The Terror Beyond'' [2.15-16]=== :'''Superman''': That went well. :'''Hawkgirl''': What, you expected her to confess to an act of war? :'''Wonder Woman''': She's royalty. You were needlessly disrespectful. :'''Hawkgirl''': Standard interrogation technique. I was bad cop. :'''Superman''': You're always bad cop. :'''Hawkgirl''': Why play against type? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Aquaman''': Do you realize what you've done?! Leave here, now! :'''Superman''': Not without Grundy, and a good explanation. :'''Doctor Fate''': You've ruined everything! Aquaman, stop them! I'll try to improvise something, but I must be allowed to concentrate! :'''Solomon Grundy''': Go away! Superman always takes everything from Grundy! But not this time! This time, Grundy crush! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Solomon Grundy''': Bird-nose help Grundy? But Bird-nose and her friends hate Grundy. :'''Hawkgirl''': Grundy help Bird-nose, Bird-nose help Grundy, okay? Excuse me, Hawkgirl smash. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Doctor Fate''': Be on your guard. :'''Icthultu''': Speak not until spoken to, dust mote. :'''Hawkgirl''': Okay, that was just rude. :'''Icthultu''': Wind mote. Who are you? :'''Hawkgirl''': Shayera Hol. Hawkgirl. :'''Icthultu''': You have the stench of the Thanagarians upon you. :'''Hawkgirl''': Says the giant squid. :'''Icthultu''': Definitely Thanagarian. I will speak to the Hawkgirl before I destroy her. You others are of no interest. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Icthultu''': Speak to me, child of Thanagar. :'''Hawkgirl''': Nothing to say. I've got [[w:flipping the bird|a gesture]] for you, but my hands are tied. :'''Icthultu''': How I've missed your people's spirit. :'''Hawkgirl''': We don't miss you. We outgrew you, thousands of years ago! :'''Icthultu''': I gave your people everything. Why did you forsake me? :'''Hawkgirl''': Forsake?! We threw you out! The price for your favours was too high. :'''Icthultu''': My tribute was equitable. I earned your faith. :'''Hawkgirl''': Really? What's a fair price for the souls of my ancestors?! :'''Solomon Grundy''': ''[overhearing]'' Snake-face steal souls? Give Grundy back his soul, Snake-face, or Grundy crush! <hr width="50%"/> :''[Shayera is poised to finish off the evil Icthultu.]'' :'''Icthultu''': You will not do this thing, Shayera Hol of Thanagar. Icthultu still has faith in you. :'''Hawkgirl''': So do I. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Solomon Grundy''': Grundy thinks he is going away now... :'''Hawkgirl''': No! Just hang on! :'''Solomon Grundy''': Do you think Grundy's soul is waiting for him? :'''Hawkgirl''': Grundy, I don't believe... ''[Grundy smiles gently and Hawkgirl smiles back tearfully]'' Yes, it's waiting for you.''' :'''Solomon Grundy''': Then... Grundy gets his reward. ''[dies]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hawkgirl''': He was happy at the end. I still don't understand why. :'''Aquaman''': It's [[faith]], Hawkgirl. You're not supposed to [[understand]] it. You just have it.''' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Grundy's epitaph]'' :'''Solomon Grundy. Born On A Monday'''. ===''Secret Society'' [2.17-18]=== :'''Shade''': Now I get it. You're trying to set up another Injustice Gang, aren't ya? :'''Giganta''': We call it a Society. A Secret Society. :'''Shade''': Call it what you want, it won't work. I know, I've tried. Twice! :'''Grodd''': What's that old saying? Third time's the charm. <hr width="50%"/> :''[during "practice"]'' :'''Flash''': ''[after Batman blows up a robot]'' Hey! That was my bad guy! :'''Batman''': ''[to Green Lantern]'' Happy? ''[walking away]'' Call me when it's important. And not before. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Clayface|Clayface]]''': What kind of a guy would lock somebody up and keep him as if he was property? :'''[[w:Killer Frost|Killer Frost]]''': Edge was sick, honey. But you don't have to worry about him anymore. ''[smiles darkly]'' Nobody has to. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': Always trying to find a cure, aren't you? :'''Clayface''': Can you blame me? :'''Batman''': No. But it's made you predictable. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Clayface''': You didn't think I'd come here without reinforcements, did ya? :'''Batman''': Wish I'd thought of that. ''[door blows in behind him, revealing the rest of the Justice League]'' Oh, wait. ''[smug grin]'' I ''did.'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Shade's Thug''': ''[being held upside down off a roof]'' Who do you think you are, Batman? :'''Flash''': It's been a long night. Just tell me where Shade is, okay? :'''Shade's Thug''': [[w:Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy|Look, buddy, I know Batman. I once ratted out a counterfeiter to Batman. And believe me, you are no Bat-]] ''[Flash drops him]'' -MAAAAAAAAAAANNNN! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': ''[standing over "unconscious" Sinestro]'' Looks like I didn't need you after all, yo. But you can help me tie him up. :'''Batman''': ...Catch. ''[shoots Flash in the chest with a grapple]'' The real Flash would've been too fast for that. ''[shocks him, revealing Clayface]'' :'''Clayface''': What gave me away? :'''Batman''': You overplayed your part, yo. :'''Grodd''': Everyone's a critic. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hawkgirl''': You don't care about me. :'''Green Lantern''': What are you talking about? I'd give my life for you! :''[awkward pause]'' :'''Hawkgirl''': You don't know what you're saying. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Giganta|Giganta]]''': ''[to Superman]'' Wouldn't hit a woman, would you? :'''Wonder Woman''': I would. ''[slams her down]'' ===''Hereafter'' [2.19-20]=== :''[Wonder Woman blocks a bolt of lightning from the [[w: Weather Wizard|Weather Wizard]] with her bracelets.]'' :'''The Flash''': There are ''so'' many reasons why that shouldn't have worked. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Kalibak|Kalibak]]''': I just flattened Wonder Woman! You really think you can beat me? :'''Batman''': I'm not trying to beat you. I'm trying to ''stall'' you. :'''Kalibak''': Stall me? For what? ''[Superman appears behind him]'' Aw- ''[gets punched in the face]'' :'''Superman''': For what it's worth, I don't think you could've taken Batman, either. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Superman has been apparently killed; Wonder Woman grabs Toyman.]'' :'''[[w: Toyman|Toyman]]''': What are you going to do to me? :'''[[w: Wonder Woman|Wonder Woman]]''': I'm gonna punch a hole in your head. :'''The Flash''': We don't do that to our enemies. :'''Wonder Woman''': Speak for yourself! :'''The Flash''': I'm trying to speak for Superman. :''[a grief-stricken Wonder Woman releases Toyman.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''The Flash''': I used to be able to goof around so much because I knew Superman had my back. Now all I've got is his example, and that's gonna have to be enough. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Alfred''': I'm afraid it's time, master Bruce. :'''Batman''': I'm not going to the funeral. :'''Alfred''': ''[surprised]'' Why? :'''Batman''': Because he's ''not'' dead. What tipped me off was the lack of evidence. :'''Alfred''': Sir? :'''Batman''': ''[showing the table of debris]'' I brought all this from the crime scene, and I've examined it every way I know how. :'''Alfred''': And you found? :'''Batman''': Absolutely nothing. No scorching, no residue, no radiation. Objects were here, then they were gone. :'''Alfred''': I'm afraid I don't understand. :'''Batman''': Matter can't be created or destroyed, just changed from one form into another. :'''Alfred''': As you say, sir. I believe I heard something about that when I attended grammar school. :'''Batman''': So unless the law of conservation of mass has been repealed, there's still hope. ''[As Toyman's weapon was technological, not magical, the laws of physics must apply.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Lex Luthor walks into Superman's funeral.]'' :'''[[w: Lois Lane|Lois Lane]]''': Luthor! How ''dare'' you show your face here! :'''Lex Luthor''': Lois, I- ''[Lois slaps him]'' :'''Lois Lane''': You've come to gloat! You've tried to get rid of him for years! Are you happy now? Isn't this what you've always wanted? I hate you! I HATE YOU! ... ''[breaks down into tears]'' :'''Lex Luthor''': ''[takes her into his arms]'' Believe it or not, I'm going to miss him, too. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Martian Manhunter''': Though we gather here today, bound together in sorrow and loss, we share a precious gift. We are, all of us, privileged to live a life that has been touched by Superman. The Man of Steel possessed many extraordinary gifts, and he shared them with us freely. None of these gifts were more remarkable than his ability to discern what needed to be done, and his unfailing courage in doing it, whatever the personal cost. Let us all strive to accept his gift, and pass it along, as an ongoing tribute to Kal-El of Krypton, the immigrant from the stars, who taught us all how to be heroes. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': I've got some things to say. I should've said them when you were here, but... Despite our differences, I have nothing but respect for you. I hope you knew... ''know'' that, you showed me that justice doesn't always have to come from the darkness. I'll miss... ''[something in the distance explodes]'' What did you always call it, Clark? The never ending battle? <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Lobo (DC Comics)|Lobo]]''': What's with all the long faces, Justice-Dweebs? It's like a wake in here. Lighten up! The answer to all your problems has arrived. Since we're gonna be workin' together, you can call me Lobo. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': Good instinct. His name's Lobo. He's a lowlife bounty hunter. :'''Lobo''': The Main Man happens to be the best bounty hunter in the known universe. You can ask Superman if he weren't busy pushing up daisies. :'''The Flash''': Hey, don't talk about him like that. Superman was our friend. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': You're no Superman. :'''Lobo''': The ladies say different. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Lobo''': You want an audition? C'mon, ladies, let's dance! <hr width="50%"/> :''[Villains are terrorizing Metropolis.]'' :'''Kalibak''': This looks like a job for Superman! But I don't think he's ''coming''. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hawkgirl''': You wanna settle down now? Please say no! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Martian Manhunter''': The Justice League is about more than physical power. It's about ideals, caring, helping. :'''Lobo''': Buy me a ticket to Pukesville. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Kalibak''': I'm going to grind you into paste! :'''Lobo''': Awful brave talk for a dead man. :'''Kalibak''': I'm not dead yet. :'''Lobo''': You're right. My watch is about ten seconds fast. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Lobo''': Pretty good huh? When you got Lobo on your team, who needs Superman? :''[the members of the Justice League lower their heads in sadness]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Vandal Savage''': The Earth belongs to the cockroaches now... oh, and me. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': You're insane. :'''[[w: Vandal Savage|Vandal Savage]]''': True, but that doesn't mean I'm not good company. Say, you wanna come over to my house? ''[Superman looks confused]'' Like you've got something ''better'' to do. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': ''[holding a rock over Vandal Savage's head]'' I should smash your skull. :'''Vandal Savage''': Go ahead, we both know it wouldn't work. :''[Superman pauses and drops the rock. They both stand up.]'' :'''Superman''': What now...? :'''Vandal Savage''': ...Lunch? <hr width="50%"/> :''[Superman picks up a copy of "Life Strategies: Coping With Yourself"]'' :'''Superman''': Self-help books? You don't seem the type. :'''Vandal Savage''': I read whatever I can find. Anyway, I've got issues, what with my destroying the Earth and all. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': What happens to you? :'''Vandal Savage''': Redemption, if I'm lucky. Don't worry about me. Go back to your friends. Do what you do best, what you were born to do - save the world. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Everyone is marveling at Superman's return]'' :'''Martian Manhunter''': You were greatly missed, my friend... by all of us. :''[All eyes turn to Batman, who is standing apart with arms crossed, emotionless]'' :'''Wonder Woman''': Don't let him fool you. Your death hit him as hard as it did any of us. :'''Superman''': Really? :'''Batman''': No. I never believed you were dead in the first place. :'''Superman''': I guess that's sort of a compliment. :'''Lobo''': Ain't this great? The whole team together again, all eight of us! :'''Superman''': Count again. You're fired. :'''Lobo''': ''What?!'' :'''Superman''': You're not Justice League material, Lobo. Go chase a bail-jumper. I don't care what you do, just clear out. :'''Lobo''': This is the thanks I get? What a stinkin' rip. ''[hops onto his Hog]'' Next time you lollipops need help, don't bother asking the Main Man! ''[flies away]'' :'''Martian Manhunter''': ... We didn't ask you ''this'' time! <hr width="50%"/> :''[In the future, Vandal Savage is sitting alone after sending Superman back to the present. Soon, people start appearing around him, along with an intact city, while Savage himself starts to disappear, indicating that Superman managed to stop him in the past]'' :'''Vandal Savage''': Thank you, my friend. ''[fades away]'' ===''Wild Cards'' [2.21-22]=== :'''Hawkgirl''': Aha, that's it. Right there. :'''Green Lantern''': No it's not. :'''Hawkgirl''': I think I would know. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': Ah, ah, ah! Don't touch that remote. I know it's heartbreaking to have your favorite shows preempted, but look what you're getting instead: me! And a whole truckload of mindless violence and wanton property damage, everything that makes TV great! So stay tuned - you won't believe your eyes. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': Here's how we do this little tango: I've tucked away a great, big time bomb somewhere on the Vegas strip. Only the Justice League can defuse it, 'cause if anyone ''else'' tries, ''[shows audience a switch]'' I press this, and kablooie! No waiting! Now, I know you want to see the big bomb hunt from the best point of view, so I've set up hundreds of cameras all over town! The League won't be able to burp without us looking in! And since every good suspense show has to have a ticking clock, here's mine! ''[a display appears on screen, counting down from 23 minutes - the average length of an episode without commercials]'' Oh, what were you expecting from me? A round number? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': The Royal Flush Gang! Jack, Ten, King, and... uhhh... ''[as the camera pans up from Queen's feet, showing her figure]'' Queen! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': ''[watching Batman's jet land and Batman step out]'' I see one of our stars approaching the red carpet! And he’s in black — always chic. ''[Javelin lands and the rest of the Justice League step out]'' But here come the fashion disasters. I’m surprised their mummies let them out of the house looking like that. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': While they stumble around trying to find my bomb, let's see how the local economy's doing. :''[A slot machine area is deserted.]'' :'''Joker''': Oh, it looks a little slow. ''[An old woman is shown at one of the slots]'' Ma'am? Ma'am? Aren't you scared? :'''Old Lady''': ''[not looking up]'' Of what? This thing's gotta pay up sooner or later. :'''Joker''': Man, I LOVE this town! <hr width="50%"/> :''[The Royal Flush Gang is fleeing the scene]'' :'''Joker''': Oh, you're breaking an old man's heart, kids! Stand up to them like I would! If I were there... and if I had superpowers and... Oh, for Pete's sake, go back there and beat on them! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': ''[after telling the origin story of his minions]'' The government said it was protecting them. But what it really wanted was to turn them into human weapons. [[w:Scooby-Doo|And they would have gotten away with it too, if not for ''me'' meddling with the kids!]] <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': ''[about Ten]'' Ten feels no pain - literally! And he's just as strong as Stupidman! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': ''[about Batman]'' ''Him'' again, it's always ''him''! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Bookie''': Smart money's all on your boy Jack, Mr. J.! Batman has the edge in experience—and weight, I can't help noticing; I suspect he's indulging in too many "Bat-donuts"—but Jack is younger and he definitely has the longer reach. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': I can't believe he didn't suspect a trap. See what happens when you don't watch enough television? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': The suspense is killing me! Of course, it's going to be the ''explosions'' that kill them. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': ''[after Green Lantern reveals a false bomb located at the bottom of a river]'' Aww, I was hoping someone would drown trying to disarm that. ''C'est la vie.'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': ''[After locating a bomb but not knowing how to disarm it, talking to Batman via comlink]'' Batman, I've got a problem! :'''Batman''': ''[Being strangled in a battle with Jack, and attempting to fight]'' You... don't... SAY! :'''Flash''': I found a bomb. You've got to talk me through disarming it. :'''Batman''': ''[throwing exploding batarangs at Jack]'' Okay. Remove the lid... :'''Flash''': Already done. :'''Batman''': Don't jump ahead! Do exactly as I say! :'''Flash''': I opened it before I called! ''[sound of blow landing]'' Batman, you okay? :'''Batman''': ''[evading Jack's punches]'' Grasp the red metal collar with both hands, pull it straight up. It's magnetized, don't touch the sides, or it'll blow up the whole block. :'''Flash''': Done. :'''Batman''': Disconnect the following wires in- ''[Jack hits him]'' ''AH!'' -in precisely this order: blue, yellow-and-black striped, red, then black. :'''Flash''': ''[does so]'' Okay, what next? :'''Batman''': You're done. Find another one! :'''Flash''': I'm on it! <hr width="50%"/> :''[Green Lantern and Hawkgirl have found a bomb]'' :'''Hawkgirl''': Why not put a force field around it and let it blow?! :'''Green Lantern''': I don't know if I can contain an explosion that size! :'''Hawkgirl''': Maybe you should let me defuse it! :'''Green Lantern''': Maybe you should shut up! :''[cut to Joker in the studio]'' :'''Joker''': Phew! Is it just me or is there something going on between those two? Will Green Lantern ever admit to his feelings? Will Hawkgirl ever stop sublimating her passions with that big honkin' mace? Will true love conquer all? ''[raises his detonator]'' Not on ''my'' show! :''[in the casino, the bomb lets out a loud beep; Lantern spins around and fires a force blast that ejects Hawkgirl from the casino, a split-second before it explodes and collapses.]'' :'''Hawkgirl''': JOHN! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': Ooh! Medical drama, life and death stakes, compelling human conflict...RATINGS! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': Give it up, kid. There's no way you can beat me. :'''[[w:Royal Flush Gang|Ten]]''': I don't have to ''beat'' you. I just have to slow you down until the bomb blows! :'''Superman''': Hold that thought! ''[Punches Ten high into the sky, and defuses the bomb. Ten falls back down]'' Now, where were we? :''[another punch sends Ten flying, and Superman flies after him]'' :'''Joker''': A person could ''really'' learn to hate that guy. Let's go back to watching Green Lantern croak - that should cheer me up. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': Harley! Where's Joker? :'''[[w:Harley Quinn|Harley Quinn]]''': After all these years, you still think I'd give up Mister J? :'''Batman''': Why not? He gave you up. :'''Harley Quinn''': That was a long time ago! He's changed! We've been to couple's counseling! :'''Batman''': I'm talking about right now. Or haven't you been watching the show? You've seen the way he touches her hair, the way he rubs her shoulders. :'''Harley Quinn''': You mean Ace? She's just a kid! :'''Batman''': Really? Then why is she with him while you're out here in the cold? :''[Harley pauses, then punches Batman in the face.]'' :'''Joker''': Have to admit, didn't see that one coming... <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': Even you can't disarm one of my bombs in time! :'''Flash''': Shut up! :'''Joker''': What kind of retort is that? You're not even trying! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Superman''': That was quite a stunt you just pulled off. :'''Flash''': I know. Can't wait to catch the rerun. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': You know, our show was picked up by all the news channels. And the last 15 minutes or so's been running on the Broadcast networks. According to my projections, we've got somewhere between 60-70 million people watching right now, and that was the point all along. This whole thing was a stunt, to get as many of you watching as possible, and it worked! My Royal Flush Gang provided the conflict, the Justice League brought the star power, and I brought the shocking surprise ending. Everyone watching this show right now is witness to my greatest joke ever. In just over five minutes, you'll all be hopelessly, incurably insane. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': [[w:Ace (comics)|She]] can send out thought waves that can alter perception... but enough with the jargon, she can drive you crazy just by ''looking'' at you - either in person, or on TV. Even as I speak, millions of you slack-jawed couch potatoes are slowly losing your grip on reality - which in my opinion is highly overrated anyway. But you can't look away, even though you know something is terribly wrong. And the best part is, I'm immune to all of this because I'm ALREADY crazy. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joker''': We can't let everything we have be ruined by a silly misunderstanding! :'''Harley Quinn''': And just what is it that I'm not understanding?! :'''Joker''': That we're two of a kind. That you'll always come back to me. :'''Harley Quinn''': Yeah, I guess I do, don't I...? :'''Joker''': Like the swallows in Capistrano. And there's one other thing you're not getting. :'''Harley Quinn''': ''[innocently]'' What? :'''Joker''': ''[enraged]'' THAT YOU LED BATMAN RIGHT TO MY DOORSTEP! ''[smacks Harley away]'' Tough love. Very effective, don't you think so, Batman? ''[silence]'' Yoo-hoo? Batman? I know you're up there s- OH! ''[Batman punches him]'' Oh, there you are. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Joker sings to the tune of "London Bridge"]'' :'''Joker''': ''[punches Batman]'' Big old Bats has fallen down. ''[punches him again]'' On the ground. ''[again]'' Mind unsound. ''[again]'' Big old Bats has fallen down ''[again]'' I'm so happy! <hr width="50%"/> :''[Batman has pulled the mind-control headband out of Joker's pocket. Ace is furious]'' :'''Joker''': Just... Just a souvenir, that's all! Give me that! ''[Tries to take it back]'' :'''Ace''': ''[stands up and advances on Joker]'' "I'm not afraid of you..." :'''Joker''': ''[scared]'' Wait ... puh-please ...! ''[backs away]'' :'''Ace''': "I know what it's like to frighten other people. That's why I'm not afraid of you. I'm the only one." :'''Joker''': Don't do this! ''[cowers in fear and closes his eyes, obviously terrified]'' :'''Ace''': ''[petting Joker's head]'' Do what? :'''Joker''': ''[looks up]'' That's my little Acey! Everything's going to be... AAAAAARRGH! :''[Ace uses her powers on Joker to plunge him into a catatonic state]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[in the Watchtower's infirmary]'' :'''Hawkgirl''': It was the shock of the detonation that stopped his heart... no, he's going to be fine. I'll stay with him tonight. Batman, about before? I'm sorry I... :'''Batman''': No. We never leave a man behind. Right? :'''Hawkgirl''': ''[smiles]'' Right. <hr width="50%"/> :'''John Stewart''': You know how we feel about each other. :'''Hawkgirl''': John... :'''John Stewart''': And I know you feel the same way. :'''Hawkgirl''': It's not that simple. John, this can't go any further. :'''John Stewart''': Why not? :'''Hawkgirl''': Well... we work together. :'''John Stewart''': So? Gives us something in common. :'''Hawkgirl''': We can't be worrying about each other when we're fighting the bad guys. :'''John Stewart''': Too late for that. What else you got? :'''Hawkgirl''': Ugh... It's crazy, I mean, look at us. Just look at us. :'''John Stewart''': I see a man, and a woman. :''[John removes Shayera's helmet. They slowly get closer and kiss]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Old Lady''': Well, it's about time. ===''Comfort And Joy'' [2.23]=== :'''Jonathan Kent''': It's good to have you home again, son. :'''Clark Kent''': It's good to be back, Pa. And I brought a friend. :''[Clark walks in the house and J'onn appears in the doorway]'' :'''Martian Manhunter''': Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Kent. I hope I'm not intruding. Super.. uh, Clark was most insistent I join you for the holiday. My name is J'onn. I'm a Martian. :''[Jonathan and Martha usher J'onn into the house]'' :'''Jonathan Kent''': Oh, we're no strangers to aliens in this house. Make yourself at home. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Jonathan Kent''': Okay, everybody! I'm turning on the Christmas tree! :'''Clark Kent''': Pa, that's my job! <hr width="50%"/> :'''The Flash''': Wow. Someone sure did a number on this place. :'''Ultra-Humanite''': Actually, I hadn't even started... Do you believe the horrendous amount of public funding spent on this so-called ''art''? It's garbage! An affront to any decent human aesthetic! :'''The Flash''': Oh-''kay'', I'll just take you back to prison, where you won't have to look at the ''ugly'' old sculptures anymore. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Ultra-Humanite''': You'll be happy to know, Flash, that your words - ''jejeune'' though they were - did not fall on deaf ears. I appreciate the sentiment behind them, and therefore call a truce in honor of the season. :'''The Flash''': Seriously? :'''Ultra-Humanite''': You'll have the toy to give to your young friends. I'm improving it, too. :'''The Flash''': ''[suspicious]'' It's not gonna blow up or anything? :'''Ultra-Humanite''': ''[incredulous]'' Flash. It ''is'' Christmas. :'''The Flash''': Okay, but why did you hit me? :'''Ultra-Humanite''': You hit me first. Hand me that screwdriver, will you? <hr width="50%"/> :'''The Flash''': Hey, kids, Santa Flash is back! ''[the children cheer]'' Along with my special helper, Freaky The Snowman! ''[the children grow silent]'' :'''Ultra-Humanite''': Just give them the toy and take me to jail. :'''The Flash''': Are you sure it won't, y'know...? ''[makes exploding noise]'' :'''Ultra-Humanite''': Oh, for Heaven's sake! :'''DJ Rubba' Ducky''': ''[in Ultra-Humanite's voice]'' Hello, children. Come close and I'll tell you a story. :'''Child 1''': Is that DJ Rubba' Ducky? :'''Child 2''': He sounds weird. :'''DJ Rubba' Ducky''': ''[in Ultra-Humanite's voice]'' Little Clara had just received a beautiful toy nutcracker from her godfather, the mysterious Herr Drosselmeyer. :'''Ultra-Humanite''': Well? An improvement, wouldn't you say? :'''The Flash''': I kinda liked it when he made the poopy noise... ''[In spite of this, the children keep hearing the toy telling the story of ''The Nutcracker'' until they start sleeping.]'' ...but this is good, too. <hr width="50%"/> :''[The Flash visits the Ultra-Humanite in his prison cell]'' :'''Ultra-Humanite''': Haven't I seen enough of you for one night? :'''The Flash''': I wanted to say thanks. You really helped me out. :'''Ultra-Humanite''': I did it for the children. I welcome any opportunity to bring culture to the uncorrupted. :'''The Flash''': Sure. But I thought you might like some holiday cheer yourself. :''[He steps to one side, revealing:]'' :'''Ultra-Humanite''': An aluminum Christmas tree? :'''The Flash''': I know, it's kinda cheesy, but-- :'''Ultra-Humanite''': No, no. I had one just like it when I was... it's very nice. The guard will show you out. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hawkgirl''': ''[Entering a bar]'' Hey, guys! :'''Patrons''': Shayera! <hr width="50%"/> :''[as J'onn sings his song]'' :'''Clark Kent''': And he said he didn't bring a gift. ===''Starcrossed'' [2.24-26]=== :''[Green Lantern has just found out about the relationship between Hawkgirl and Hro Talak]'' :'''Batman''': The most mysterious creatures in the universe. :'''Green Lantern''': Sorry? :'''Batman''': Women. Don't be too hard on yourself. You didn't know she was spoken for. :'''Green Lantern''': How did you...? :'''Batman''': It wasn't hard to figure out. The point is these things happen. You just have to accept it and move on. :'''Green Lantern''': Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. :''[He starts to walk off but J'onn J'onnz (Martian Manhunter) stops him]'' :'''Martian Manhunter''': Believe me, I know the pain when two people who are involved... :''[The Flash speeds up to them]'' :'''Flash''': Who's involved? ''[He looks at Green Lantern]'' You and Hawkgirl?! Get out. ''[Green Lantern glares at Flash]'' Really? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wonder Woman''': Don't be afraid, little man. I won't bite. <hr width=50%/> :''[The League is on the run from the Thanagarians, hiding in a department store]'' :'''Martian Manhunter''': They'll have the whole city covered by now. :'''Flash''': Who knows? Maybe they'll get tired and go home. ''[Everyone looks at him]'' ...Yeah, I know. But a little optimism at a time like this couldn't hurt. :'''Thanagarians''': This is the voice of the Thanagarian Occupational Authority. Your so-called Justice League is in violation of our martial law. They are to be considered an enemy and dealt with on sight. Any person found aiding or harboring them will be summarily punished. :'''Flash''': Okay, so much for optimism. :'''Batman''': For the time being, we're going to have to go underground. :'''Wonder Woman''': How exactly do we hide when the entire planet is looking for us? :'''Martian Manhunter''': They'll be looking for the Justice League. Without our costumes, we are merely ordinary citizens. ''[shifts into human form]'' :'''Flash''': Hold on a second here. What about the whole secret identity thing? I mean, I trust you guys, but I'm not sure I'm ready to- :'''Batman''': ''[points at Flash]'' Wally West, ''[points at Superman]'' Clark Kent... ''[removes own mask]'' Bruce Wayne. :'''Flash''': ''[stares, wide-eyed]'' ...Showoff. ''[shrugs and removes his cowl]'' :'''Wonder Woman''': ''[ruffles his hair]'' Red hair. It suits you. :'''Flash''': You think? ''[gets hit in the head by a shirt]'' :'''Batman''': ''[stalks past, looking disgruntled]'' Change. Now. <hr width="50%"/> :''[in order to hide from pursuing Thanagarians, Diana and Bruce take refuge in a diner and, when the Thanagarians enter, Diana pulls Bruce into a kiss. They separate after the soldiers leave]'' :'''Diana Prince''': Sorry. :'''Bruce Wayne''': ''[with a grin]'' Don't be. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Shayera tries to convince Hro to relocate the hyperspace generator]'' :'''Hro Talak''': Have you forgotten why we fight? Of what horrors the Gordanians are capable of? Have you forgotten my long years rotting in their stinking prison camps?! ''[takes off his headdress, revealing the scars on the side of his face]'' I haven't! :'''Shayera Hol''': I have forgotten nothing. But this war is no excuse to- :'''Hro Talak''': I am your commander! You will not question me! :'''Shayera Hol''': I don't even know you anymore. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Wally and John arrive at Wayne Manor; Alfred answers the door]'' :'''Wally West''': Uh, hi. We're looking for Bruce Wayne? We're friends. :'''[[w:Alfred Pennyworth|Alfred Pennyworth]]''': Of course, Master Bruce is expecting you. This way, please. :'''Wally West''': So, [[w:Jeeves|Jeeves]], do you come with the place, or does "Master Bruce" just rent you out for parties? :'''Alfred Pennyworth''': I've been in service here since the master was in diapers. :'''Wally West''': ''[turns to John]'' Now, ''there's'' a picture. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Alfred Pennyworth''': Your guests have arrived, sir. :'''Batman''': You're late. :'''John Stewart''': Nice to see you too. :'''Wally West''': ''[seeing Batman's trophy T-rex]'' Hey! That's a giant dinosaur! :'''Alfred Pennyworth''': And I thought ''Batman'' was the detective. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Examining data on Thanagarian plans]'' :'''Batman''': Ingenious. :'''Superman''': Yeah, I'm impressed. Let's go wreck it. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Batman throws batarangs at oncoming Thanagarians. At first nothing happens.]'' :'''Thanagarian soldier''': Your weapons are pitiful! :'''Batman''': Wait for it... :''[Swarm of bats attack the Thanagarians]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Flash causes the giant penny in the Batcave to fall on two Thanagarian warriors]'' :'''Flash''': Tails! I win! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': Well? :'''Martian Manhunter''': I have no idea how to fly this vehicle. :'''Flash''': What's this do? ''[pushes random button that causes the ship to fire at Wayne Manor, narrowly missing Alfred]'' :'''Batman''': ''[through clenched teeth]'' That's. ''Not.'' Helping. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Alfred Pennyworth''': ''[finding a bound Thanagarian]'' I've asked Master Bruce to refrain from leaving trash on the lawn. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Shayera Hol''': I came to help. :'''Flash''': Hawkpeople all over the planet, martial law, us getting chased like dogs- I don't think we can take much more of your help. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Superman, Wonder Woman and Green Lantern are approaching the Thanagarian command ship, as it deploys interceptor fighters]'' :'''Wonder Woman''': Pretty bad odds. :'''Superman''': Yeah. They don't stand a chance. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Flash''': Okay, the Watchtower is ours again. So where's your secret weapon? :'''Batman''': You're standing in it. :'''Flash''': Wait, you mean we're gonna...? :'''Batman''': Take the Watchtower out of orbit and drop it right on top of their little science project. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Batman helps J'onn and the Flash load the unconscious Thanagarians into an escape pod, then closes the door and launches the pod, leaving himself behind.]'' :'''Martian Manhunter''': What are you doing? :'''Batman''': I can't risk having the Watchtower burn up on re-entry. I'll have to guide it in, manually. Gentlemen... it's been an honor. :''[Flash slumps on the floor of the pod as it disengages and maneuvers away from the Watchtower.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hro Talak''': This won't be like the last time you stole something from me. :'''Green Lantern''': Anything I took was freely offered. Maybe you should take better care of your stuff. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hro Talak''': I've beaten you, little man. Any last words? :'''Green Lantern''': Yeah - you can kiss my ''axe''. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green Lantern''': My grandma hits harder than you! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Batman''': ''[over radio-link]'' We're cutting it a little close! Have you shut off the force-field? :'''Superman''': Not yet. Where are you? :'''Batman''': Aboard the Watchtower, guiding it to target. :'''Superman''': ''[shocked]'' That's insane! Get out of there! :'''Batman''': Negative! I'm staying until... ''[static over radio]'' :'''Superman''': Batman! ''[abandons fight]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Batman loses consciousness just before Superman arrives. Superman rips up the seat he's buckled into, and flies him away from the Watchtower before impact.]'' :'''Superman''': ''[As they pick themselves up from the rubble]'' Always have to be the hero, don't you? :'''Batman''': Right back at you. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hro Talak''': There's no us anymore, Shayera. Just a fallen traitor And a soldier with a job to do. She won't save you again, lantern. No woman's skirt to hide behind. No ring. What are you going to do now? :'''Green Lantern''': I was thinking of introducing you to my friend here! :'''Thanagarian''': All construction personnel now en route to mother ship. :'''Paran Dul''': Good. Begin activation sequence. :'''Green Lantern''': That all you got? My grandma hits harder than you. :'''Hro Talak''': No! :'''Wonder Woman''': Who's next?! :'''Hro Talak''': Stand down! Lower your weapons. :'''Thanagarian''': Commander? :'''Hro Talak''': Our mission is a failure. There's no more reason to fight. Let them go. I hope you're pleased with yourself. It will take years for us to rebuild elsewhere. :'''Shayera Hol''': Then you'd better get started. :'''Snapper Carr''': This is Snapper Carr reporting. In a stunning turn of events, the Thanagarian Forces have ended their occupation of earth, departing for locations unknown. Once again, the world owes a debt of gratitude To the selfless heroism of the Justice League. :'''Shayera Hol''': They've been in there a long time. :'''Alfred Pennyworth''': Yes, miss, they have. If I may be so bold, I'm neither a superhero, nor a soldier, so I'm hardly qualified to judge your actions by those standards. But I do know this: without the great sacrifices you've made, we wouldn't be here to share this nice pot of tea. Whatever they decide in that room, in my eyes, you'll always be a hero. :'''Wonder Woman''': She exploited our weaknesses, betrayed us-- :'''Flash''': Come on! She was in the ultimate no-win situation. But when push came to shove, she came through for us, just like always. :'''Martian Manhunter''': She's a pariah to her people. We're all she has left. :'''Superman''': Believe me, J'onn. I feel for her, but after everything that's happened. I honestly don't know if I could ever completely trust her again. :'''Batman''': We're arguing in circles. It's time to take a vote. :'''Alfred Pennyworth''': They've sent for you, miss. :'''Shayera Hol''': Thank you, Alfred. :'''Superman''': Hawkgirl. :'''Shayera Hol''': Before you start, I have something to say... I came to this planet as a patriot. I had a mission, and I carried it out. What I couldn't know was that I would come to care for the earth And her people... That I've come to care for all of you. I've spent the last 5 years torn between my feelings And my duty. I won't ask you to do the same. Therefore I am resigning from the justice league, Effective immediately. :'''Flash''': Great. No Hawkgirl. No Javelin. No Watchtower. What's gonna happen to the League now? Do we all just walk away? :'''Martian Manhunter''': No. We rebuild, starting today. :'''Superman''': J'onn's right. Earth still needs us, and we'll never let her down. It's our duty. :'''Green Lantern''': You never asked how we voted. :'''Shayera Hol''': It doesn't matter. :'''Green Lantern''': Where are you gonna go? :'''Shayera Hol''': I don't know. Someplace where the fate of the world wasn't in my hands. Someplace where there's no more secrets, no more lies. :'''Green Lantern''': Was it all a lie? :'''Shayera Hol''': I love you, John. I never lied about that. ''[flies away]'' :'''Green Lantern''': ''[tears falling off his face]'' I love you, too. ==See also== * ''[[Justice League Unlimited]]'' ==External links== {{wikipedia|Justice League (TV series)}} *{{imdb title|id=0275137|title=Justice League}} [[Category:Pages which need their copyright status checked]] [[Category:2000s American animated TV shows]] [[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]] [[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]] [[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]] [[Category:American children's animated science fantasy TV shows]] [[Category:American children's animated superhero TV shows]] [[Category:Cancelled shows]] [[Category:Cartoon Network shows]] [[Category:Television series on DVD]] [[Category:Crime TV shows]] [[Category:Fantasy TV shows]] [[Category:Horror TV shows]] [[Category:Science fiction TV shows]] [[Category:Animated television programs based on DC Comics]] [[Category:Animated Batman TV shows]] [[Category:Animated Justice League TV shows]] [[Category:Animated Superman TV shows]] [[Category:Crossover animated TV shows]] [[Category:Television series by Warner Bros. Animation]] hxgm5xbh1xj1jyzxsvx6hk21kvhjjzf 0 9189 3942229 3930206 2026-05-18T01:08:32Z ~2026-17675-08 3304052 /* Dialogue */ 3942229 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Pocahontas (1995 film)|Pocahontas]]''''' is a 1995 animated musical historical drama feature film produced by [[w:Walt Disney Animation Studios|Walt Disney Feature Animation]] and released by [[w:Walt Disney Pictures|Walt Disney Pictures]]. It is based on the life of Powhatan woman Pocahontas and the arrival of English colonial settlers from the Virginia Company. '''''[[w:Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World|Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World]]''''' was released as a direct-to-video sequel in [[w:1998 in home video|1998]] by [[w:Walt Disney Studios Home Entertainment|Walt Disney Home Video]]. :Songs by [[w:Alan Menken|Alan Menken]] and [[w:Stephen Schwartz (composer)|Stephen Schwartz]]. A year later, they wrote songs to [[The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)|The Hunchback of Notre Dame]], [[Enchanted (2007 film)|Enchanted]] and [[Disenchanted (film)|Disenchanted]]. :''Directed by [[w:Mike Gabriel|Mike Gabriel]] and [[w:Eric Goldberg|Eric Goldberg]]. Written by [[w:Carl Binder|Carl Binder]], [[w:Susannah Grant|Susannah Grant]] and [[w:Philip LaZebnik|Philip LaZebnik]].'' :''Music by [[Alan Menken]].'' {{center|''' An American legend comes to life '''<small>[[#Tagline|Tagline]]</small>}} ==Pocahontas== * Maybe I should. Come on, Flit. Quit playing around, we have to get back. == Dialogue == :'''Settlers Chorus''': ''[singing]'' In sixteen hundred seven (1607) / We sail the open sea / For glory, God and gold / And the Virginia Company / For the New World is like heaven / And we'll all be rich and free / Or so we have been told / By the Virginia Company / So we have been told / By the Virginia Company / For glory, God and gold / And the Virginia Company :'''Settlers''': Ready to hoist the cannon? Aye! :'''Lon''': Hey look. Is that Smith? :'''Ben''': That's him, all right. The old sea dog. :'''Thomas''': Captain John Smith? I've heard amazing stories about him. :'''Lon''': ''[to John]'' Are you coming on this voyage, too? :'''Ben''': Of course he is, you half-wit! You can't fight Indians without John Smith! :'''John Smith''': That's right. I'm not about to let you boys have all the fun. :'''Settlers Chorus''': ''[singing]'' On the beaches of Virginny / There's diamonds like debris / There's silver rivers flow / And gold you pick right off a tree / With a nugget for my Winnie / And another one for me / And all the rest'll go / To the Virginia Company / It's glory, God and gold / And the Virginia Company :'''Settler''': Full anchor release! :'''Settler''': Come on, lads, come on! :'''Settler''': Give me a hand, someone! :'''Settler''': Watch out! :'''Settler''': Faster! She's taking up more water! :'''Settler''': Look out! :'''Thomas''': John! Get down here! The cannons are breaking loose! :'''John Smith''': Reef the topsails! :'''Settler''': Aye, sir! :'''John Smith''': Steady on the course. It’s all right, Thomas. We'll get her tied off. :'''Settler''': Say your prayers, lad! :'''Settler''': Look out! :'''Settler''': Oh no! :'''John Smith''': Thomas, watch out! :'''Thomas''': Help! :'''Settler in Crow's Nest''': Man overboard! :'''Thomas''': Help! :'''Ben''': Stay your course. He's lost. :'''Thomas''': Help! :'''John Smith''': Pull the pin! :'''Settler''': Aye, sir! :''[John Smith jumps into the sea.]'' :'''Ben''': Smith! Smith! Are you crazy? :'''John Smith''': Hang on, Thomas. I've got you. :'''Lon''': Quick, the rope! :'''Ben''': Heave! Come on, lads, pull! Pull! Pull! Put your back into it! :'''Settler''': Pull! Pull! :'''Lon''': Hang on! :'''Settler''': Yeah! :'''Ben''': There, me lucky lad. :'''John Smith''': Well, that was refreshing. :'''Lon''': Well done, Smith. :'''John Smith''': Of course. You'd all do the same for me. :'''Ben''': Oh, sure, sure, of course we would. :'''Lon''': Yes yes, yes. We would. :'''Ben''': Absolutely. :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': Trouble on deck? :'''Thomas''': Governor Ratcliffe! :'''John Smith''': Thomas fell overboard, sir. :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': Thank heavens he's been successfully retrieved. Well done, Smith. :'''John Smith''': Thank you, sir. :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': Don't lose heart, men. It won't be long before we reach the New World, and remember what awaits us there: freedom— :'''Percy''': ''[Bark.]'' :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': Prosperity— :'''Percy''': ''[Bark bark.]'' :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': The adventure of our lives. You are the finest crew [[England]] has to offer and nothing, not wind nor rain nor a thousand bloodthirsty savages shall stand in our way. Carry on, men! :'''Settlers''': ''[Cheer.]'' :'''Wiggins''': A stirring oration sir. I'm sure the men were most exhilarated. :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': Let us hope so. I’ll need those witless peasants to dig up my gold, won’t I? :''[Cut to: Elsewhere on deck.]'' :'''Thomas''': This New World's going to be great, John. I'm going to get a pile of gold, build me a big house and if any Indian tries to stop me, I’ll blast him. :'''John Smith''': You just worry about that fortune of yours, Thomas. Leave the savages to me. :'''Lon''': You think they'll give us much trouble? :'''Ben''': Not as much trouble as Smith'll give them! :'''Settlers''': ''[singing]'' We’ll kill ourselves an Injun :'''John Smith''': ''[singing]'' Or maybe two or three :'''Settlers and John Smith''': ''[singing]'' We're stalwart men and bold / Of the Virginia Company :'''Thomas''': What do you suppose the New World will look like? :'''John Smith''': Like all the others, I suppose. I've seen hundreds of new worlds, Thomas. What could be possibly different about this 1? :'''Settlers''': ''[singing]'' It's glory, God and gold / And the Virginia company <hr width="50%"/> :'''Native Americans''': ''[singing]'' Hega hega ya-hi-ye hega / Ya-hi-ye ne-he hega /Hega hega ya-hi-ye hega / Ya-hi-ye ne-he hega / Steady as the beating drum / Singing to the cedar flute / Seasons go and seasons come / Bring the corn and bear the fruit / By the waters sweet and clean / Where the mighty sturgeon lives / Plant the squash and reap the bean / All the earth our Mother gives / O Great Spirit, hear our song / Help us keep the ancient ways / Keep the sacred fire strong / Walk in balance all our days / Seasons go and seasons come / Steady as the beating drum / Plum to seed to bud to plum / Hega hega ya-hi-ye hega / Steady as the beating drum / Hega hega ya-hi-ye hega / Ya-hi-ye ne-he hega / Hega hega ya-hi-ye hega / Ya-hi-ye ne-he hega <hr width="50%"/> :'''Kekata''': Ka-ma wingapo. Powhatan. :'''Powhatan''': Ay-man-ay-cho, Kekata. It's good to be home. Chesk-cham-ay! The Massawomecks are defeated! With the help of our brothers, our villages are safe again! :'''Native Americans''': ''[Cheer.]'' :'''Kekata''': Your return has brought much joy to the village. Look at all the smiling faces. :'''Powhatan''': Yes. But there is one smiling face I don't see. Where is my daughter? :'''Kekata''': You know Pocahontas. She has her mother's spirit. She goes wherever the wind takes her. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Nakoma''': Pocahontas! Your father's back! Come down here! :'''Pocahontas''': He's back, Flit! Come on, Meeko. :'''Nakoma''': No, not that... way. :''[Pocahontas dives into the river.]'' :'''Nakoma''': Show-off. Pocahontas? Pocahontas? Are you all right? Well, you better be all right because I’m not coming in after you...! ''[Coughs.]'' Don't you think we're getting a little old for these games? :'''Nakoma and Pocahontas''': ''[Laugh.]'' :'''Pocahontas''': Help me turn this thing over. :'''Nakoma''': About the dream again? Oh, have you figured it out yet? :'''Pocahontas''': I know it means something, I just don’t know what. :'''Nakoma''': What were you doing up there? :'''Pocahontas''': Thinking. Meeko! :'''Nakoma''': You should ask your father about it. :'''Pocahontas''': Maybe I should. Come on, Flit. Quit playing around, we have to get back. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Powhatan''': ...faced a determined enemy. The battle lasted from the rising of the sun until the evening shadows fell. Our warriors fought with courage, but none as bravely as Kocoum. He attacked with the fierce strength of the bear. He has proven himself to be the greatest... :''[Pocahontas and Nakoma are looking at Kocoum]'' :'''Nakoma''': Oh, he is ''so'' handsome. :'''Powhatan''': ''[off-screen]'' ...and the finest... :'''Pocahontas''': ''[jokingly]'' I especially love his smile. :''[Cut to a stone-faced Kocoum]'' :'''Powhatan''': ...destroying every enemy in his path. Tonight we will feast in his honor. :'''Native Americans''': ''[Cheer.]'' :'''Powhatan''': My daughter. :'''Pocahontas''': Wingapo, father. :'''Powhatan''': Seeing you gives me great joy. :'''Pocahontas''': I am so glad you’ve come home safely. :'''Powhatan''': Come with me, we have much to talk about. I want to hear everything you’ve been doing. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Pocahontas''': Father, for many nights now, I've been having a very strange dream. I think it's telling me something's about to happen, something exciting. :'''Powhatan''': Yes, something exciting is about to happen. :'''Pocahontas''': ''[eagerly]'' Really? What is it? :'''Powhatan''': Kocoum has asked to seek your hand in marriage. :'''Pocahontas''': ''[disappointed]'' Marry Kocoum? :''[Flit nods in approval; Meeko, on the other hand, sticks out his tongue in disgust.]'' :'''Powhatan''': I told him it would make my heart soar. :''[Pocahontas smiles awkwardly, then peers through the hut's flap at Kocoum, who's refusing to play with the village children.]'' :'''Pocahontas''': But he's so... serious. :'''Powhatan''': My daughter, Kocoum will make a fine husband. He is loyal and strong, and will build you a good house, with sturdy walls. With him, you will be safe from harm. :'''Pocahontas''': Father, I think my dream is pointing me down another path. :'''Powhatan''': This ''is'' the right path for you. :'''Pocahontas''': But why can't I choose-- :'''Powhatan''': Pocahontas, come with me. You are the daughter of the chief. It is time to take your place among our people. Even the wild mountain stream must someday join the big river. ''[singing]'' As the river cuts his path / Though the river's proud and strong / He will choose the smoothest course / ''[spoken]'' That's why rivers live so long. ''[singing]'' They're steady as the steady beating drum ''[spoken]'' Your mother wore this for our wedding. It was her dream to see you wear it at your own. It suits you. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Pocahontas''': ''[spoken]'' He wants me to be steady... Like the river. But it's not steady at all. ''[singing]'' What I love most about rivers is / You can't step in the same river twice / The water's always changing, always flowing / But people, I guess, can't live like that / We all must pay a price / To be safe we lose our chance of ever knowing / What's around the riverbend / Waiting just around the riverbend / I look once more / Just about the riverbend / Beyond the shore / Where the gulls fly free / Don't know what for / What I dream the day might send / Just around the riverbend / For me / Coming for me / I feel it there beyond those trees / Or right behind these waterfalls / Can I ignore that sound of distant drumming? / For a handsome, sturdy husband / Who builds handsome, sturdy walls / And never dreams that something might be coming / Just around the riverbend / Just around the riverbend / I look once more / Just around the riverbend / Beyond the shore / Somewhere past the sea / Don't know what for / Why do all my dreams extend / Just around the riverbend / Just around the riverbend / Should I choose the smoothest course? / Steady as the beating drum / Should I marry Kocoum? / Is all my dreaming at an end? / Or do you still wait for me, Dream Giver / Just around the riverbend? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Grandmother Willow''': Is that my Pocahontas? :'''Pocahontas''': Grandmother Willow, I need to talk to you. :'''Grandmother Willow''': Good morning, child. I was hoping you'd visit today. Why, your mother's necklace! :'''Pocahontas''': That's what I wanted to talk to you about. My father wants me to marry Kocoum. :'''Grandmother Willow''': Kocoum? But he's so serious. :'''Pocahontas''': I know. My father thinks it's the right path for me. But lately I've been having this dream and I think it's-- :'''Grandmother Willow''': Oh, a dream! Let's hear all about it! :'''Animals''': ''[Chatter.]'' :'''Grandmother Willow''': Quiet! Quiet! :'''Frog''': ''[Ribbit.]'' :'''Grandmother Willow''': Now, child, you were saying. :'''Pocahontas''': Well, I'm running through the woods and then right there in front of me is an arrow. As I look at it, it starts to spin. :'''Grandmother Willow''': A spinning arrow? How unusual. :'''Pocahontas''': Yes! It spins faster and faster and faster until suddenly it stops. :'''Grandmother Willow''': Hmm. Well, seems to me this spinning arrow is pointing you down your path. :'''Pocahontas''': But Grandmother Willow, what is my path? How am I ever going to find it? :'''Grandmother Willow''': ''[Chuckle.]'' Your mother asked me the very same question. :'''Pocahontas''': She did? What did you tell her? :'''Grandmother Willow''': I told her to listen. All around you are spirits, child. They live in the earth, the water, the sky. If you listen, they will guide you. :'''Wind Spirits''': Ay ay ay na ay ay na :'''Pocahontas''': I hear the wind. :'''Grandmother Willow''': Yes, what is it telling you? :'''Pocahontas''': I don't understand. :'''Grandmother Willow''': Que que na-to-ra / You will understand / Listen with your heart / You will understand / Let it break upon you / Like a wave upon the sand :'''Pocahontas''': It's saying something’s coming. Strange clouds? :'''Grandmother Willow''': Listen with your heart / You will understand :'''Wind Spirits''': You will understand :'''Grandmother Willow''': What do you see? :'''Pocahontas''': Clouds. Strange clouds. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': Look at it, Wiggins. An entire New World chock full of gold, just waiting for me. :'''Wiggins''': And scores of adventures waiting for us, right, Percy? Do you think we'll meet some savages? :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': If we do, we shall be sure to give them a proper English greeting. :'''Wiggins''': Oooh, gift baskets! ''[holds up a pair of gift baskets]'' :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[to himself]'' And he came so highly recommended. :''[John Smith enters.]'' :'''John Smith''': It's perfect, Governor. The water's deep enough, we can pull right up to shore. Hey there, Percy. :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': Very well, then. Give the order. :'''John Smith''': Already done, sir. I've got a crew assembled and they're ready to go. :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': About the natives, I'm counting on you to make sure those filthy heathens don't disrupt our mission. :'''John Smith''': Well, if they're anything like the savages I've fought before, it's nothing I can't handle. :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': Right. That'll be all, Smith, there's a good man. :'''John Smith''': See ya, Percy. :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': The men like Smith, don't they? I've never been a popular man. :'''Wiggins''': I like you. :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': And don't think I don't know what those backstabbers at court say about me. :'''Wiggins''': Oh yes, all that talk about you being a pathetic social climber who's failed at everything he's-- :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': I'm very well aware that this is my last chance for glory. But mark my words, Wiggins, when King James see the gold these peasants unearth success will be mine, at last. :'''Ben''': Wake up! Shake a leg! :'''Lon''': It's incredible. :'''Thomas''': And it's all ours. I've never seen anything like it. :'''Ben''': It can look like Ratcliffe's knickers, for all I care, just as long as we get off this stinking boat. :'''John Smith''': Come on, men, we didn't come all this way just to look at it. :''[They row ashore as Pocahontas watches.]'' :'''Ben''': Keep it taut, lads, keep it taut! Steady, steady. :'''Lon''': Ah, that's far enough! All right now, tie her off. :'''Thomas''': Here, John, tie up this end. John? John? What are you doing up there? :'''John Smith''': Getting a better look. ''[Meeko bumps into him.]'' Hey! Well, you're a strange-looking fellow. You hungry? Here you go, it's a biscuit. It's food... Well, sort of. You like it, eh? Well, try eating it for four months straight. You got a friend back there? ''[Flit attacks him.]'' Hey, what, what, watch out! No... Get that... Look out! :'''Thomas''': John! You better get down here! The Governor's coming ashore! :'''John Smith''': All right, all right, I'm leaving. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Native American''': Did you see their skin? Pale and sickly. :'''Native American''': They have hair on their faces like dogs. :'''Powhatan''': My brothers, we must know more about these visitors. Kekata, what do you see? :'''Kekata''': ''[Chanting.]'' These are not men like us, but strange beasts with bodies that shine like the sun and weapons that spout fire and thunder. They prowl the earth like ravenous wolves consuming everything in their path. :'''Kocoum''': Great Powhatan. I will lead our warriors to the river and attack. We will destroy these invaders the way we destroyed the Massawomecks. :'''Powhatan''': Kocoum, in that battle we knew how to fight our enemy, but these pale visitors are strange to us. Take some men to the river to observe them. Let us hope they do not intend to stay. :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': I hereby claim this land and all its riches in the name of His Majesty, King James the First, and do so name this settlement Jamestown. :'''Wiggins''': Bravo! Bravo! Beautifully spoken, sir. ''[to Percy in the bath]'' Hurry now, Percy. We must be all squeaky clean for the New World. :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': Captain Smith! It appears I've selected the perfect location, eh? Not a savage in sight. :'''John Smith''': Just because we don't see them doesn't mean they're not out there, sir. :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': Well then, perhaps you should venture forth and determine their whereabouts, hmm? :'''John Smith''': If there are any Indians out there, I'll find them. :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': Now, gentlemen, to work. You men, get the ship unloaded. :'''Settler''': Right, sir. :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': You men build the fort. The rest of you... Break out the shovels! It's time to start digging. :'''Ben and Lon''': Digging? :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[spoken]'' Why, of course! Let's not forget what the Spanish found when they came to the New World. Gold, mountains of it. Why, for years they've been ravaging the New World of its most precious resources but now... It's our turn. ''[singing]'' The gold of Cortéz / The jewels of Pizarro / Will seem like mere trinkets / By this time tomorrow / The gold we find here / Will dwarf them by far / Oh, with all ya got in ya, boys / Dig up Virginia, boys / Mine, boys, mine, every mountain / And dig, boys, dig 'til ya drop / Grab a pick, boys / Quick, boys / Shove in a shovel / Uncover those lovely / Pebbles that sparkle and shine / It's gold / And it's mine, mine, mine :'''Settlers''': ''[singing]'' Dig and dig and dig and diggety / Dig and dig and dig and diggety-dig... :'''Wiggins''': ''[singing]'' Hey nonny nonny / Ho nonny nonny :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[singing]'' Ooh, how I love it :'''Wiggins''': ''[singing]'' Hey nonny nonny / Ho nonny nonny :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[singing]'' Riches for cheap :'''Wiggins''': ''[singing]'' Hey nonny nonny / Ho nonny nonny :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[singing]'' There'll be heaps of it / And I'll be on top of the heap / My rivals back home / It's not that I'm bitter / But think how they'll squirm / When they see how I glitter / The ladies in court / Will be all a-twitter / The king will reward me / He'll knight me / No! Lord me / It's mine, mine, mine / For the taking / It's mine, boys / Mine me that gold / With those nuggets dug / It's glory they'll give me / My dear friend King Jimmy / Will probably build me a shrine / When all of the gold / Is mine :'''Settlers''': ''[singing]'' Dig and dig and dig and diggety / Dig and dig and dig and diggety-dig :'''John Smith''': ''[singing]'' All of my life I have searched for land like this one / A wilder more challenging country I couldn't design / Hundreds of dangers await and I don't plan to miss one / In a land I can claim, a land I can tame / The greatest adventure is mine :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[singing]'' Keep on working, lads :'''John Smith''': ''[singing]'' Mine :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[singing]'' Don't be shirking, lads / Mine, boys, mine / Mine me that gold :'''Settlers''': ''[singing]'' Dig, dig, and diggety :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[singing]'' Beautiful gold :'''Settlers''': ''[singing]'' Dig, dig, for that gold / Make this island / My land :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[singing]'' Make the mounds big, boys / I'd help you to dig, boys / But I’ve got this crick in me spine :'''John Smith''': ''[singing]'' This land we behold :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[singing]'' This beauty untold :'''John Smith''': ''[singing]'' A man can be bold :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[singing]'' It all can be sold :'''Settlers''': ''[singing]'' So go for the gold / We know which is here :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[singing]'' Is :'''Settlers''': ''[singing]'' All the riches here :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[singing]'' Mine :'''Settlers''': ''[singing]'' From this minute :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[singing]'' Mine :'''Settlers''': ''[singing]'' This land and what's in it is :'''All''': ''[singing]'' Mine :'''Settlers''': ''[singing]'' Dig and dig and diggety-dig / Hey nonny nonny, it's mine <hr width="50%"/> :'''John Smith''': No! Wait! Please... Please! Don't run off. It's all right. I'm not going to hurt you. Here. Let me help you out of there. :'''Pocahontas''': Ma-ta-que-na-to-rath. :'''John Smith''': You don't understand a word I'm saying, do you? ''[pauses out]'' It's all right. :''[Pocahontas provides her hair, she will make it cover up to John's hand]'' :'''Grandmother Willow (voice off)''': ''[singing]'' Listen with your heart you will understand. Let it break upon you like a wave upon the sand. :'''John Smith''': Who are you? :'''Grandmother Willow (voice off)''': ''[singing]'' Listen with your heart, you will understand. :''[Pocahontas begin to close her eyes to listen to your heart; but now she open her eyes reflect]'' :'''Pocahontas''': Pocahontas. :'''John Smith''': What? What do you just say? :'''Pocahontas''': My name is Pocahontas. :''[Meeko and Flit, they both looking each other symbolizing]'' :'''John Smith''': I'm John Smith. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Fade to the digging site. Kocoum and his comrades are watching the settlers closely, their digging has yielded no results, but Governor Ratcliffe, urges them on, certain that the gold they are searching for is around somewhere]'' :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': That's it. Keep at it, men. Keep digging. It has to be here somewhere. :''[One of Kocoum's friends whistles to him and holds up three fingers, meaning that he has counted 30 more settlers in his quadrant. The Native American warrior is beginning to doubt his earlier statement about being able to take them all on easily]'' :'''Native American Warrior #1''': There's thirty more of them, down by the ridge. :'''Kocoum''': That makes more than a hundred! :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[holding a plate and a chicken drumstick]'' Anything yet? :'''Thomas''': Nothing but rocks and dirt, sir. :'''Lon''': Um, how long are we going to keep digging like this, sir? :'''Ben''': ''[climbing out of his hole]'' Aye, we're slaving apart, busting our backs day and night-- :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[interrupting]'' For king and country. I know, I know, and I share your fatigue. ''[takes a bite of his drumstick, clearly not enjoying it]'' Wiggins? Wiggins! :''[As Governor Ratcliffe calls Wiggins' name, we see him making a topiary sculpture of an elephant, bear, giraffe and unicorn walking in a line]'' :'''Wiggins''': ''[snips the last branch off the unicorn's nose]'' Coming! :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[evilly gives Wiggins the drumstick]'' Dispose of this. :'''Wiggins''': ''[waves it in Percy's face]'' Uh-huh. Who's a good doggie, huh? Who's a good doggie? ''[the pug just sighs annoyingly, and he throws the drumstick]'' Fetch, boy! :''[Meanwhile, the chicken drumstick misses one of the Native Americans hiding in the bushes. He pokes his head out to see who threw it and is spotted by Percy, who lets out a loud, anguished shriek and runs away]'' :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[panicked]'' Savages! It's an ambush! Arm yourselves! :'''Wiggins''': Run! ''[ducks behind the topiary sculpture he carved and falls to the ground, teeth chattering in fear]'' :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': Arm yourselves! :''[Meanwhile, Governor Ratcliffe and the other settlers in all directions, grabbing some loaded guns to defend themselves]'' :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': Make sure every man has a musket! Shoot! ''[Thomas runs past him, but accidentally trips on a log and his gun goes off, narrowly missing Governor Ratcliffe and hitting a water barrel]'' Them, you idiot! :''[Thomas looks over his shoulder at a ticked off Governor Ratcliffe, afraid he has already messed up. The other settlers fire their weapons, barely missing Kocoum and his companions. Seeing this as a challenge, they pull their bows taut and fire their arrows in retaliation. As this goes on, Percy runs for shelter under a helmet as an arrow bounces away from it]'' :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': Where's that blasted Smith if I need him? :''[1 of the Indian warriors, Namontack, takes refuge in a tree and gets ready to shoot at Governor Ratcliffe, but he evilly spots him there. He angrily fires a shot at Namontack. He groans as the bullet hits him in the leg and flops to the ground, yelling in pain]'' :'''Kocoum''': ''[drops his bow and runs to him]'' Namontack! :''[As Namontack looks up, he sees Ben about to angrily do him away. But just as he gets close, Kocoum intercepts him. The two strain for a bit before the former kicks the latter apart as Lon and Roy fire off their guns twice more. Luckily for Kocoum, the projectiles miss as he picks up his fallen friend]'' :'''Kocoum''': Back to the village! :''[Kocoum carries Namontack away, hopefully to get complete medical treatment. The settlers all cheer at their supposed victory, but Governor Ratcliffe does not join in, certain he hasn't actually won]'' :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': Shut up. Shut up, you fools! They'll be back. ''[As the cheering continues, Wiggins pokes his head out of the topiary, which has several parts shot apart and arrows stuck in it as a result of the fight]'' Everyone, back to camp. Get the rest of the cannons ashore and finish building the fort! :'''Ben''': Aye, Governor. :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[angrily turns to Thomas]'' And you! Learn to use that thing properly. A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Kekata''': ''[Chanting.]'' :'''Powhatan''': These beasts invade our shores, and now this. :'''Kekata''': ''[Chanting.]'' This wound is strange to me. :'''Powhatan''': We will fight this enemy, but we cannot do it alone. Kocoum, send messengers to every village in our nation. We will call on our brothers to help us fight. ''[Steps outside the tent.]'' These White Men are dangerous! No one is to go near them. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Pocahontas looking a John's Helmet himself]'' :'''John Smith''': It's called a helmet. :'''Pocahontas''': Helmet. :''[Flit tap it his Helmet, looks shocked and scares away]'' :'''John Smith''': So... what river is this? :'''Pocahontas''': Quiyoughcohannock.. :'''John Smith''': You have the most unusual names here, Chechomony, Quiyoughcohannock, Pocahontas. :'''Pocahontas''': You have a most unusual name too... John Smith. :'''John Smith''': Hey! ''[about Meeko eating his hardtacks]'' Is this bottomless pit a friend of yours? :'''Pocahontas''': Meeko. :'''John Smith''': Well how do you do, Meeko? ''[goes to shake Meeko's hand]'' It's all right, it's just a hand shake. Here let me show you. ''[Long pauses out]'' :'''Pocahontas''': Nothing's happenin'. :'''John Smith''': No. No, I need your hand first. ''[She holds her hand out and he shakes it]'' It's how we say hello. :'''Pocahontas''': This is how we say hello. Wingapo. :'''John Smith''': Wingapo. :'''Pocahontas''': And how we say goodbye. Ana. :'''John Smith''': I like hello better. ''[Flit they start breaking off each hand, Flit an goring to him]'' Yeah, I remember you. :'''Pocahontas''': Flit doesn't like strangers. :'''John Smith''': But I'm not a stranger anymore. Stubborn little fellow, isn't he? :'''Pocahontas''': Very stubborn. :'''John Smith''': Hey! :''[Meeko grabs a compass in the bag, and running off]'' :'''Pocahontas''': Meeko! Come back here. :'''John Smith''': Don't worry, he can't hurt it. ''[Meeko tap a compass on the rock]'' Hey! :''[John tries grab his compass and Meeko climb in the tree]'' :'''Pocahontas''': Meeko, bring that back! :'''John Smith''': No, it's all right. He can keep it. Call it a gift. :'''Pocahontas''': ''[about compass]'' What was that? :'''John Smith''': My compass. :'''Pocahontas''': Compassed? :'''John Smith''': It tells you how to find your way when you get lost. It's all right. I'll get another in London. :'''Pocahontas''': London? Is that your village? :'''John Smith''': Yes. It's a very big village. :'''Pocahontas''': What's it like? :'''John Smith''': ''[about London village]'' Well, it's got streets filled with carriages, bridges over the rivers, and buildings as tall as trees. :'''Pocahontas''': I'd like to see those things. :'''John Smith''': You will. :'''Pocahontas''': How? :'''John Smith''': We're going to build them here. We'll show your people how to use this land of properly. How to make the most of it. :'''Pocahontas''': ''[confused]'' Make the most of it? :'''John Smith''': Yes. We'll build roads and decent houses. :'''Pocahontas''': ''[about the Indian's village]'' Our houses are fine. :'''John Smith''': ''[sarcastically]'' You think that only because you don't know any better. ''[Pocahontas angrily walks off, Flit attack away for him]'' Wait a minute. Don't take it that. Hey! Wait! ''[after Pocahontas stopping the her canoe]'' Wait! There's so much we can teach you. We've improved lives of savages all over the world. :'''Pocahontas''': Savages? :'''John Smith''': Uh, not that you're a savage. :'''Pocahontas''': Just my people! :'''John Smith''': No. Listen. That's not what I meant. Let me explain. :'''Pocahontas''': Let go! :'''John Smith''': No, I'm not letting you leave. ''[Pocahontas jumps out of her canoe and climbs up into a tree]'' Look, don't do this. Savage is just a word, uh, you know. A term for people who are uncivilized. :'''Pocahontas''': Like me. :'''John Smith''': Well, when I say uncivilized, What I mean is, is... :''[He grabs a branch, but the branch is not strong enough to hold his weight, and John falls back to the ground. Pocahontas jumps down after him]'' :'''Pocahontas''': ''[spoken]'' What you mean is, not like you. ''[singing]'' You think I'm an ignorant savage, and you've been so many places / I guess it must be so / but still I cannot see, if the savage one is me / How can there be so much that you don't know? You don't know...| You think you own whatever land you land on, the Earth is just dead thing you can claim / But I know every rock and tree and creature has a life, has a spirit, has a name / You think the only people who are people are the people who look and think like you / But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew, you never knew...| Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon, or asked the grinning bobcat whey he grinned? / Can you sing with all voices of the mountains? / Can you paint with all the colors of the wind? Can you paint with all the colors of the wind...| Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest, come taste the sun-sweet berries of the Earth / Come roll in all the riches all around you, and for once, never wonder what they're worth / The rainstorm and the river are my brothers / The heron and the otter are my friends / And we are all connected to each other / In a circle, in a hoop that never ends!| How high does the sycamore grow? / If you cut it down, then you'll never know! / And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon, for whether we are white or copper skinned / We need to sing with all voices of the mountains, can you paint with all the colors of the wind... You can own the Earth and still all you'll own is Earth, until you can paint with all the colors of the wind... ''[they hearing drums]'' :'''John Smith''': What is it? :'''Pocahontas''': The drums. They mean trouble. I shouldn't be here. :'''John Smith''': I want to see you again. :'''Pocahontas''': I can't. :'''John Smith''': Please, don't leave. :'''Pocahontas''': I'm sorry. I have to go. ''[she runs off back to her canoe and John sadly watch her, Meeko and Flit left then fades to black]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Ben''': Alright! This one's ready to hoist!? :'''Lon''': Two on each side. Ready now? Push! Watch it! It's slipping! :'''Ben''': ''[John, Thomas, Lon pushing the fence]'' Come on, lads, it's only a little picket fence. :'''Lon''': ''[Meeko climbs the fence]'' Steady! Steady! :'''Ben''': There you go. :'''Thomas''': That'll keep everything out, eh, John? ''[John digs a shovel]'' Something wrong, John? :'''John Smith''': What?! :'''Thomas''': You've been quiet the last few days. :'''Lon''': ''[to John]'' Oh, he's just mad he missed all the action. :'''Thomas''': Ah, don't worry, John. You'll get your chance to deal with Indians. :'''Lon''': Yeah. We'll take care of them, like we did last time, eh, mates? ''[singing]'' We shot ourselves an injun, or maybe two or three. :'''Ben''': ''[angrily kicks him]'' All right, you howling nutter! Get to work! :'''Lon''': Come on, Ben, it's just just a little fun. :'''Ben''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, sure, we're having ''loads'' of fun. Right, look at us. No gold, no food, while Ratcliffe sits up in his tent all day happy as a clam. :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[in his tent]'' I'm ''doomed!'' I should be wallowing in riches right now, and I haven't found as much as a speck! ''[Meeko sniffing to sees Percy]'' Think. Think! It's got to be around somewhere. Where could it be? ''[Percy is seen playing with a merry-go-round that has dog biscuits, Percy begin to eat the biscuits, but then he notices Meeko eating them.]'' I've mined the forests and the hills and the swamps... ''and'' NOTHING! ''[Percy begins to chase Meeko away without Governor Ratcliffe even noticing]'' Why can't I find it?! What am I overlooking?! :''[He turns around and is shocked it to Wiggins apparently shot through the head with an arrow]'' :'''Wiggins''': I... I... ''[he takes off his headband, made from an native's arrow]'' I made it myself! :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[snatches it off his head]'' Take that silly...! ''[looking at the arrow]'' Of course. The Indians. Wiggins, why do you think those insolent heathens attacked us? :'''Wiggins''': Because we invaded their land and cut down their trees and dug up their earth? :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': It's the gold! They have it, and they don't want us to take it from them. Well, I'll just have to take it by force then, won't I? :''[Ben and Lon tired, When Governor Ratcliffe comes looking John Smith has disappeared.]'' :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': You there! Where's Captain Smith? :'''Lon''': Well, he's... gone. :'''Ben''': Ay, your singing must have scared him off. :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': Well then go get him, for heaven's sake! :'''Lon''': What if we run into the Indians? :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': That's what ''guns'' are for! Now arm yourselves and get moving! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Powhatan''': Pocahontas, you should be inside the village. :'''Pocahontas''': We'll be all right. :'''Nakoma''': We're gathering food for when the warriors arrive. :'''Powhatan''': Don't go far. Now is not the time to be running off. :'''Pocahontas''': Yes, father! :'''Powhatan''': When I see you wear that necklace, you look just like your mother. :'''Pocahontas''': I miss her. :'''Powhatan''': But she is still with us. Whenever the wind moves through the trees, I feel her presence. Our people looked to her for wisdom and strength. Someday, they will look to you as well. :'''Pocahontas''': I would be honored by that. :'''Powhatan''': You shouldn't be out there alone. I'll send for Kocoum. :'''Nakoma''': All right. What is it? :'''Pocahontas''': What? :'''Nakoma''': You're hiding something. :'''Pocahontas''': I'm not hiding anything. :'''Nakoma''': Pocahontas, you can tell me. I promise, I won't tell anyone. ''[sees John Smith coming; Nakoma gasps]'' Pocahontas, look! ''[Flit flies to John, but he hold hardtack and tap to Flit on the ground in cornfield]'' It's one of them! I'm going to get- :'''Pocahontas''': ''[thrusts her hand over Nakoma's mouth]'' What are you doing here? :'''John Smith''': I had to see you again. :'''Kocoum''': Pocahontas! Pocahontas?! :'''Pocahontas''': ''[to Nakoma]'' Please, don't say anything. ''[to John]'' Quick, this way! :'''Nakoma''': But- :'''Kocoum''': Nakoma, where is Pocahontas? :'''Nakoma''': I-I haven't seen her. :'''Kocoum''': Pocahontas can't keep running off. It's dangerous out there. Tell her that. She listens to you. :'''Nakoma''': ''[sarcastically to himself]'' Huh. Sure she does. <hr width="50%"/> :'''John Smith''': This place is incredible! And to think, we came all this way just to dig it up for gold. :'''Pocahontas''': Gold? :'''John Smith''': Hey, Meeko. :'''Pocahontas''': What’s gold? :'''John Smith''': You know, it's... It's yellow, comes out of the ground, it's really valuable. :'''Pocahontas''': Oh, here, we've lots of it. ''[Takes out an ear of corn.]'' Gold. :'''John Smith''': No... Gold is this. ''[Takes out a gold coin.]'' :'''Pocahontas''': Hmm, there's nothing like that around here. :'''John Smith''': No gold? :'''Pocahontas''': Not that I've seen. :'''John Smith''': ''[Laughs.]'' All this way for nothing. Those boys are in for a big surprise. :'''Pocahontas''': Will they leave? :'''John Smith''': Some of them might. :'''Pocahontas''': Will you go home? :'''John Smith''': Well, it's not like I have much of a home to go back to. I've never really belonged anywhere. :'''Pocahontas''': You could belong here. :''[Later on, Pocahontas leads John Smith to Grandmother Willow, but she appears and she disappears]'' :'''John Smith''': ''[shocked]'' What was that? :'''Pocahontas''': Do you see something? :'''John Smith''': ''[nervous]'' No, no. I just, uh, I... ''[she nowhere to be seen]'' I didn't see anything. Did I? :'''Pocahontas''': Look again. :'''Grandmother Willow''': ''[she appears; singing]'' Let it break upon you, like a wave upon the sand. ''[spoken]'' Hello, John Smith. :'''John Smith''': ''[nervously]'' Pocahontas, that tree is talking to me. :'''Pocahontas''': Then you should talk back. :'''Grandmother Willow''': Don't be frightened, young man. My bark is worse than my bite. :'''Pocahontas''': Say something. :'''John Smith''': What do you say to a tree? :'''Pocahontas''': Anything you want. :'''John Smith''': ''[gets closer to Grandmother Willow]'' So, uhh... :'''Grandmother Willow''': Come closer, John Smith. ''[she inspects him]'' He has a good soul. And he's handsome, too. :'''John Smith''': Oh, I like her. :'''Pocahontas''': I knew you would. :'''Ben''': ''[they shocked it]'' Smith! Smith, where are you mate? :'''John Smith''': We can't let them see us. :'''Grandmother Willow''': ''[they hiding in the glade on our side]'' Quick! Over here! :'''Lon''': This place gives me the creeps. Savages could be hiding anywhere. :'''Ben''': Ay, well, if you spot one, don't ask questions. Just shoot. :''[Ben and Lon clumsily trip over Grandmother Willow's root]'' :'''Ben''': Watch your feet, ya big oaf! :'''Lon''': It wasn't me! It was the tree! :'''Ben''': Oh, of course. The tree just felt like lifting its roots and... ''[sees the tree root out of the ground; it drops back in the earth]'' Let's get out of here! :''[Grandmother Willow angrily whips them both with her vines to Ben and Lon]'' :'''Ben''': Run! :''[they cowardly rush away]'' :'''Lon''': But what about Smith? :'''Ben''': He's a big lad! He can take care of himself! :'''John Smith''': I'm glad you're on our side. :'''Grandmother Willow''': There's still some snap in these old vines. :'''John Smith''': I better get back before they send the whole camp after me. :'''Pocahontas''': When will I see you again? :'''John Smith''': Meet me tonight, right here. :'''Grandmother Willow''': Well, I haven't had this much excitement in 200 years. :'''Pocahontas''': What am I doing? I shouldn't be seeing him again. I mean, I want to see him again-- :'''Grandmother Willow''': Who wouldn't? I want to see him again. :'''Pocahontas''': But still, something inside is telling me it’s the right thing. :'''Grandmother Willow''': Perhaps it's your dream. :'''Pocahontas''': My dream? Do you think he’s the one the spinning arrow was pointing to? :'''Grandmother Willow''': Mm-hmm! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Native American''': The warriors are here! :''[Pocahontas arrives.]'' :'''Nakoma''': Pocahontas, are you crazy? What were you doing with one of them? :'''Kocoum''': There you are! :'''Pocahontas''': Kocoum! :'''Kocoum''': ''[to Pocahontas and Nakoma]'' Look at them. Now we have enough warriors to destroy those white demons! :''[Powhatan with another tribal chieftain]'' :'''Powhatan''': Now that we are joined by our brothers, we will defeat this enemy. :''[Pocahontas walks off by Kocoum and Nakoma, she talk to Father, but she near them the warriors]'' :'''Pocahontas''': Father, I need to speak with you. :'''Powhatan''': Not now, my daughter. The council is gathering. :'''Pocahontas''': ''[about the settlers]'' We don't have to fight them! There must be a better way. :'''Powhatan''': Sometimes our paths are chosen for us. :'''Pocahontas''': But maybe we should try talking to them. :'''Powhatan''': They do not want to talk. :'''Pocahontas''': But if one of them did want to talk, you would listen to him, wouldn't you? :'''Powhatan''': Pocahontas... :'''Pocahontas''': ''[desperately]'' Wouldn't you?! :'''Powhatan''': Of course I would. But it is not that simple. Nothing is simple anymore. <hr width="50%"/> :'''John Smith''': Easy, Thomas. It's me. :'''Thomas''': Oh, John! I could've killed you! :'''John Smith''': Not aiming like that, you couldn't. Keep both eyes open when you shoot. You'll see twice as well. :'''Ben''': Smith! There ya are! :'''Lon''': We were looking all over for you. :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': Smith! Where have you been? :'''John Smith''': I was out scouting the terrain, sir. :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': Excellent. Then you must know the Indians' whereabouts. We'll need that information for the battle. :'''John Smith''': What battle? :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': We will eliminate these savages once and for all. :'''John Smith''': No! You can't do that! :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': Oh? Can't I? :'''John Smith''': Look, we don’t have to fight them. :'''Thomas''': John, what's gotten into you? :'''John Smith''': I met one of them. :'''Ben''': You what? :'''Thomas''': A savage? :'''John Smith''': They're not savages, they can help us. They know the land, they know how to navigate the rivers. And, look! It’s food! :'''Lon''': What is it? :'''John Smith''': It's better than hardtack and gruel, that’s for sure. :'''Wiggins''': I like gruel. :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': They don't want to feed us, you ninnies! They want to kill us! All of us! They've got our gold, and they'll do anything to keep it! :'''John Smith''': But there is no gold! :'''Ben''': No... gold? :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': And I suppose your little Indian friend told you this. :'''John Smith''': Yes. :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': Lies! Lies, all of it! Murderous thieves, there’s no room for their kind in civilized society. :'''John Smith''': But this is their land! :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': This is my land! I make the laws here. And I say anyone so much as looks at an Indian without killing him on sight, will be tried for treason and hanged. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Pocahontas is foolishly sneaking out of the village to see John. Nakoma catches her.]'' :'''Nakoma''': Pocahontas! :'''Pocahontas''': Nakoma! :'''Nakoma''': Don't go out there. I lied for you once. Don't ask me to do it again. :'''Pocahontas''': I have to do this. :'''Nakoma''': He's one of them! :'''Pocahontas''': You don't know him. :'''Nakoma''': If you go out there, you'll be turning your back on your own people. :'''Pocahontas''': I'm trying to help my people. :'''Nakoma''': Pocahontas, please. You're my best friend. I don't want you to get hurt. :'''Pocahontas''': I won't. I know what I'm doing. :'''Nakoma''': Pocahontas, no! :''[Pocahontas runs off.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Ben''': Ratcliffe wouldn't take us halfway 'round the world for nothing. :'''Lon''': But what if Smith is right? What if there is no gold? :'''Settler''': If you ask me, Ratcliffe's been lying to us since we left [[London]]. :'''Ben''': Listen to you, you bunch of idiots! Those savages didn't attack us for nothing. They're hiding something. :'''Lon''': If they do have the gold, I reckon we'll have to fight them. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Thomas sees John Smith sneaking off to meet Pocahontas at Grandmother Willow's Glade, Governor Ratcliffe appears behind him and pushes him out of the camp]'' :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': Follow him. :'''Thomas''': Yes, Governor. :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': I want to know where he's sneaking off to. :'''Thomas''': Yes, sir. :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': And if you see any Indians, shoot them. Oh, and Thomas? You've been a slipshod sailor and a poor excuse for a soldier. Don't disappoint me again. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Cut to the Powhatan village, Kocoum's hut. He is using a stone to sharpen a knife until Nakoma comes up to him]'' :'''Nakoma''': Kocoum. :'''Kocoum''': ''[turns toward her]'' What is it? :'''Nakoma''': It's Pocahontas. :'''Kocoum''': ''[worried]'' What's wrong? ''[standing up]'' Is she all right? ''[Nakoma pauses for a moments, as she suddenly feels that she's making a big mistake, but decides to warn Kocoum anyhow]'' :'''Nakoma''': I think she's in trouble. ''[Cut to Grandmother Willow's glade. Pocahontas runs straight inside as fast as she can. Several squirrels scurry all over the ancient tree's face]'' :'''Grandmother Willow''': The earth is trembling, child. What just happened? :'''Pocahontas''': The warriors are here. :''[Suddenly, John runs up to him to report what just happened on the end]'' :'''John Smith''': Pocahontas! :'''Pocahontas''': John! :'''John Smith''': Listen to me. My men are planning to attack your people. You have to warn them. :'''Pocahontas''': Maybe it's not too late to stop this. You have to come with me and talk to my father. ''[Pocahontas pulls John Smith along, but he stops her]'' :'''John Smith''': Pocahontas, talking isn't going to do any nice. I already tried talking to my men, but everything about this land has them spooked. ''[Suddenly, a muffled howl turns their attention towards the woods. It is revealed to be Percy, yet stuck in the log from earlier. He spins around clumsily]'' :'''Grandmother Willow''': That's the strangest creature I've ever seen! :''[At that moment, Percy clumsily loses his balance and trips. He rolls down a hill and flies through a tree, dislodging him from the log, eventually landing upside-down in John Smith's hands]'' :'''John Smith''': Percy? :''[Meeko, seeing Percy, grins hesitantly. The pug, remembering the food the raccoon stole from him, growls frustratingly and angrily lunges at him]'' :'''John Smith''': Easy, Percy. Come here! :'''Pocahontas''': Meeko, come back! :'''John Smith''': You see what I mean? Once two sides will to fight, nothing can stop them. :'''Pocahontas''': Come-come here, both of you! :'''John Smith''': It's alright, it's alright. He's a friend. Bad...bad dog! Sit! :''[Flit laughs at Meeko's predicament, but the latter grabs him and uses him like a sword]'' :'''Pocahontas''': What are you doing here? Meeko! :'''John Smith''': Percy, get back here! What are you doing here? Stop that! :''[Meeko climbs into Grandmother Willow's branches, leaving Percy barking]'' :'''Grandmother Willow''': Alright, that's enough! :''[Percy, alarmed at the sentient tree before him, lets out a frightened whine and faints, landing in the pond. Grandmother Willow fishes him out with a vine and places him in front of her]'' :'''Grandmother Willow''': It's enough to make your sap boil. Now then, there's something I want to show you. Look. :''[Grandmother Willow lowers a branch into the water and makes ripples in the pond]'' :'''Pocahontas''': The ripples. :'''John Smith''': What about them? :'''Grandmother Willow''': So small at first, then look how they grow. But someone has to start them. :'''John Smith''': They're not going to listen to us. :'''Grandmother Willow''': Young man, sometimes the right path is not the easiest one. ''[raises one of her roots and slides John Smith down to Pocahontas]'' Don't you see? Only when the fighting stops can you be together. ''[John Smith takes Pocahontas' hands and thinks for a moment. In no time, he agrees with her decision to speak to her father to try and reason with him]'' :''[Pocahontas gently smiles in agreement.]'' :'''John Smith''': All right. Let's go talk to your father. :''[Pocahontas takes John Smith in her arms, and they embrace each other.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Pocahontas and John embrace, then kiss. Kocoum and Thomas are watching.]'' :'''Kocoum''': ''[War cry.]'' :'''Pocahontas''': ''[Gasp.]'' :''[Kocoum attacks John.]'' :'''Pocahontas''': Kocoum, no! Kocoum! Leave him alone! ''[Gasps.]'' Kocoum, stop! :''[Thomas loads his gun.]'' :'''Thomas''': Both eyes open. :''[Thomas shoots. Kocoum falls He grabs hold of Pocahontas' necklace. It shatters into tiny pieces and he lands in the lake.]'' :'''Pocahontas''': ''[Gasp.]'' :'''John Smith''': Thomas! :'''Thomas''': Is he...? :'''Pocahontas''': You killed him. :'''Thomas''': I thought that-- :'''Pocahontas''': Get away from him! :'''John Smith''': Pocahontas, it won’t help! He was only-- :'''Pocahontas''': He killed him! :'''Native American Warriors''': ''[Shouting.]'' :'''John Smith''': Thomas, get out of here. Get out of here! :''[Thomas exits. John is captured.]'' :'''Powhatan''': Who did this? :'''Native American Warrior''': Pocahontas was out in the woods. Kocoum went to find her and this white man attacked them. :'''Powhatan''': Your weapons are strong. But now our anger is stronger. At sunrise he will be the 1st ''(time hope)'' to died! :'''Pocahontas''': But, father! :'''Powhatan''': I told you to stay in the village. You disobeyed me. You have shamed your father! :'''Pocahontas''': ''[tearfully]'' I was only trying to help. :'''Powhatan''': Because of your foolishness, Kocoum is ''DEAD!'' Take him away! ''[Exits.]'' :'''Pocahontas''': Kocoum was just coming to protect me. :'''Nakoma''': Pocahontas, I sent Kocoum after you. I was worried about you. I thought I was doing the right thing. :'''Pocahontas''': All of this happened because of me... And now I'll never see John Smith again. :'''Nakoma''': Come with me. Pocahontas wants to look into the eyes of the man who killed Kocoum. :'''Native American Warrior''': Be quick. ''[Pocahontas enters tent.]'' :'''John Smith''': Pocahontas. :'''Pocahontas''': I'm so sorry. :'''John Smith''': For what, this? I've gotten out of worse scrapes than this. Can't think of any right now, but... :'''Pocahontas''': It would've been better if we'd never met, none of this would've happened. :'''John Smith''': Pocahontas, look at me. I'd rather die tomorrow than live a hundred years without knowing you. :''[Nakoma looks into tent.]'' :'''Nakoma''': Pocahontas. :'''Pocahontas''': I can't leave you. :'''John Smith''': You never will. No matter what happens to me, I'll always be with you. Forever. :''[Pocahontas exits.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Thomas''': Help! Somebody, help! Help! Help! :'''Lon''': Easy, lad. What is it? :'''Thomas''': It's Smith! They got him! :'''Ben''': Who got him? :'''Thomas''': The savages! :'''Settler''': Savages? :'''Thomas''': They captured him, dragged him off! :'''Ben''': Where'd they take him? :'''Thomas''': They headed North! :'''Lon''': How many were there? :'''Thomas''': I don't know, at least a dozen. :'''Ben''': Filthy beasts! :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': It's perfect, Wiggins! I couldn't have planned this better myself. The gold is as good as mine! :'''Thomas''': We've got to save him! He'd do the same for any of us. :'''Ben''': Thomas is right! We've got to do something. :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': And so we shall! I told you those savages couldn't be trusted. Smith tried to befriend them, and look what they've done to him. But now I say it's time to rescue our courageous comrade. At daybreak, we attack! :'''Settlers''': ''[cheering]'' :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[singing]'' What can you expect / From filthy little heathens / Here's what you get when races are diverse / Their skin's a hellish red / They’re only good when dead / They're vermin as they said and worse / They're :'''Settlers''': ''[singing]'' Savages, savages :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[singing]'' Barely even human :'''Settlers''': ''[singing]'' Savages, savages :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[singing]'' Drive them to our shore / They're not like you and me / Which means they must be evil / We must sound the drums of war :'''Settlers''': ''[singing]'' They're savages, savages / Dirty shrieking devils / Now we sound the drums of war :'''Powhatan''': ''[singing]'' This is what we feared / The Paleface is a demon / The only thing they feel at all is greed :'''Kekata''': ''[singing]'' Beneath that milky hide / There's emptiness inside :'''Native American Warriors''': ''[singing]'' I wonder if they even bleed :'''Native Americans''': ''[singing]'' They're savages, savages :'''Powhatan''': ''[singing]'' Barely even human :'''Native Americans''': ''[singing]'' Savages, savages :'''Powhatan''': ''[singing]'' Killers at the core :'''Kekata''': ''[singing]'' They're different from us / Which means they can't be trusted :'''Powhatan''': ''[singing]'' We must sound the drums of war :'''Native Americans''': ''[singing]'' They're savages, savages / First we deal with this one / Then we sound the drums of war :'''All''': ''[singing]'' Savages, savages :'''Ben''': ''[spoken]'' Let's go get a few, men :'''All''': ''[singing]'' Savages, savages :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[spoken]'' Now it's up to you, men :'''All''': ''[singing]'' Savages, savages / Barely even human / Now we sound the drums of war :'''Pocahontas''': They're going to kill him at sunrise, Grandmother Willow. :'''Grandmother Willow''': You have to stop them. :'''Pocahontas''': I can't. :'''Grandmother Willow''': Child, remember your dream? :'''Pocahontas''': I was wrong, Grandmother Willow. I followed the wrong path. I feel so lost. ''[Meeko gives her John's compass.]'' The compass? Spinning arrow! :'''Grandmother Willow''': It's the arrow from your dream! :'''Pocahontas''': I was right! It was pointing to him. ''[Sunlight hits her face.]'' Sunrise! :'''Grandmother Willow''': It's not too late, child. Let the spirits of the earth guide you! You know your path, child... Now follow it! :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[singing]'' This will be the day / ''[spoken]'' Let's go, men! :''[Cut to: Exterior, Powhatan village, morning.]'' :'''Powhatan''': ''[singing]'' This will be the morning / ''[spoken]'' Bring out the prisoner! :'''Settlers and Native Americans''': ''[singing]'' We will see them dying in the dust :''[Intercuts between: Pocahontas, the English and the Native Americans.]'' :'''Pocahontas''': ''[singing]'' I don't know what I can do / Still I know I've got to try :'''Settlers and Native Americans''': ''[singing]'' Now we make them pay :'''Pocahontas''': ''[singing]'' Eagle help my feet to fly :'''Settlers and Native Americans''': ''[singing]'' Now without a warning :'''Pocahontas''': ''[singing]'' Mountain, help my heart be great :'''Settlers and Native Americans''': ''[singing]'' Now we leave them blood and bone and dust :'''Pocahontas''': ''[singing]'' Spirits of the earth and sky :'''Settlers and Native Americans''': ''[singing]'' It's them or us :'''Pocahontas''': ''[singing]'' Please don't let it be too late :'''Settlers and Native Americans''': ''[singing]'' They're just a bunch of filthy, stinking / Savages, savages / Demons, devils :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[singing]'' Kill them! :'''Settlers and Native Americans''': ''[singing]'' Savages, savages / What are we waiting for? / Destroy their evil race / Until there's not a trace left :'''Pocahontas''': ''[singing]'' How loud are the drums of war :'''Settlers and Native Americans''': ''[singing]'' We will sound the drums of war / Savages, savages / Now we sound the drums of war / Now we see what comes / Of trying to be chums / ''(Now we sound the drums of)'' :'''Pocahontas''': ''[singing]'' Is the death of all I love / Carried in the drumming of :'''Settlers and Native Americans''': ''[singing]'' War! :''[John Smith is about to be executed by Powhatan. Pocahontas bravely throws herself on top of John to protect him.]'' :'''Pocahontas''': No! If you kill him, you'll have to kill me too. :'''Powhatan''': Daughter, stand back. :'''Pocahontas''': I won't! I love him, Father. Look around you! This is where the path of hatred has brought us. This is the path I choose, Father. What will yours be? :''[Powhatan looks at the two armies, both ready to fight. Suddenly, the wind blows across the battlefield, calming him and almost everybody else. He raises his staff and addresses the crowd.]'' :'''Powhatan''': My daughter speaks with the wisdom beyond her years. We have all come here with anger in our hearts. But she comes with courage and understanding. From this day forward, if there is to be more killin', it will not start with me. Release him. :''[the settlers and the tribes lowered down their weapons, cut to Governor Ratcliffe who then rejects the offer]'' :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': Now's our chance! ''[draws sword]'' Fire! :'''Thomas''': No! :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': What!? :'''Thomas''': They let him go! :'''Ben''': They don't ''want'' to fight! :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': It's a trick! Don't you see!? FIRE!!! ''[The Englishmen scowl at him. Governor Ratcliffe wavers for a moment, then throws his sword to the ground and grabs a musket]'' Fine! I'll settle this myself! :''[He aims at Powhatan; John Smith notices.]'' :'''John Smith''': NO! :''[John Smith jumps in front of Powhatan; Governor Ratcliffe fires; the bullet hits John Smith and he falls down, wounded]'' :'''Thomas''': John! ''[to Governor Ratcliffe as Pocahontas rushes to John Smith's side]'' You shot him! :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[dumbfounded]'' He stepped right... right into it! It's his own fault! :''[The Englishmen furiously surround Governor Ratcliffe]'' :'''Ben''': Smith was right all along! :'''Lon''': We never should have listened to you! :'''Ben''': Get the gun! ''[The men swarm over Governor Ratcliffe and restrain him]'' :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': '''''Traitors!''''' Unhand me, I say! How dare you! :'''Thomas''': ''[grabs the gun from Governor Ratcliffe]'' Put him in chains! :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': I'll see you all HANGED for this! :'''Thomas''': And gag him as well! ''[Thomas looks up at John as Pocahontas and Chief Powhatan tend him worried rushes to him]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Ben''': Is he going to make it, Thomas? :'''Thomas''': The sooner he gets back to [[w:England|England]], the better. :'''Lon''': Well, let's hope the wind is with him. :'''Thomas''': Is the ship ready yet? :'''Ben''': Any minute now. Just loading the last bit of cargo. ''[Governor Ratcliffe, tied up in chains and gagged, is tossed into a longboat]'' :'''Governor Ratcliffe''': ''[muffled]'' How dare you! Untie me at once! I'LL HAVE YOUR HEADS FOR THIS!!! :'''Wiggins''': ''[sadly sniffles]'' And he came so highly recommended. ''[sighs]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Thomas''': ''[to John on the longboat]'' The ships almost ready. We'd better get you on board. We'll lose the tide. :'''John Smith''': ''[hold Thomas to stop]'' No, not yet. She said she'd be here. :'''Thomas''': ''[as sees the Indians]'' Look. ''[as Pocahontas comes over to white demons; the Indians are put the ear corn bag on the ground, she's walks to Englishmen approaches, and sees John to be okay]'' :'''Thomas''': ''[to Pocahontas]'' Going back is his only chance. He'll die if he stays here. :'''Pocahontas''': ''[kneels beside John and offers him a bag]'' Here. It's from Grandmother Willow's bark. It'll help with the pain. :'''John Smith''': What pain? I've had worse pain than this. ''[winces]'' Agh! Can't think of any right now, but... :'''Powhatan''': ''[walks over]'' You are always welcome among our people. Thank you, my brother. :'''John Smith''': ''[to Flit]'' I thought you didn't like strangers. :''[Meeko, Percy and Flit to gives a fixing a Mother's necklace to Pocahontas by Kocoum]'' :'''Pocahontas''': My mother's necklace. :'''John Smith''': See ya, Percy. <hr width="50%"/> :'''John Smith''': Come with me? :''[Pocahontas looks over at her father.]'' :'''Powhatan''': You must choose your own path. :''[Pocahontas looks at her people and the settlers. She turns to John Smith.]'' :'''Pocahontas''': ''[with tears in her eyes]'' I'm needed here. :'''John Smith''': Then, I'll stay with you. :'''Pocahontas''': No. You have to go back. :'''John Smith''': But I can't leave you. :'''Pocahontas''': You never will. No matter what happens, I'll always be with you, forever. :''[They kiss goodbye.]'' :'''Lon''': Good luck, lad. :'''Thomas''': Godspeed, John. :'''Sailors''': The crew a-ready? Aye, sir! Set the mainsails. Weigh anchor! Let go of the topgallants! === 10th Anniversary Edition Release === :''[John Smith is imprisoned after Kocoum's death.]'' :'''Pocahontas''': I'm so sorry. :'''John Smith''': For what? This? I've gotten out of worse scrapes than this. Can't think of any right now, but... :'''Pocahontas''': It would have been better if we'd never met. None of this would've happened. :'''John Smith''': ''[spoken]'' Pocahontas, look at me. ''[she obeys]'' I'd rather die tomorrow that live a hundred years without knowing you. ''[singing]'' If I never knew you / If I never felt this love / I would have no inkling of how precious life can be / If I never knew you / I would never have a clue / How at last I'd find in you / The missing part of me / In this world so full of fear / Full of rage and lies / I can see the truth so clear / In your eyes / So dry your eyes / And I'm so grateful to you / I'd have lived my whole life through / Lost forever / If I never knew you :'''Pocahontas''': ''[singing]'' I thought our love would be so beautiful / Somehow we'd make the whole world bright / I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong / All they'd leave us were these whispers in the night / But still my heart is saying we were right / For if I never knew you :'''John Smith''': There's no moment I regret / Since the moment that we met / If I time has gone too fast / I've lived at last... :'''Pocahontas''': ''[singing]'' If I never knew this love / I would have no inkling of / If I precious can be... :'''Nakoma''': ''[spoken]'' ''[peering in through the tent flap]'' Pocahontas. :'''Pocahontas''': I can't leave you. :'''John Smith''': ''[spoken]'' You never will. No matter what happens to me, I'll always be with you, forever. ''[singing]'' And I'm so grateful to you / I'd have lived my whole life through / Empty as the sky :'''Pocahontas''': ''[singing]'' Never knowing why :'''Pocahontas and John Smith''': ''[singing]'' Lost forever / If I never knew you... <hr width="50%"/> :'''Thomas''': ''[to John on the longboat]'' The ships almost ready. We'd better get you on board. We'll lose the tide. :'''John Smith''': ''[hold Thomas to stop]'' No, not yet. She said she'd be here. :'''Thomas''': ''[as sees the Indians]'' Look. ''[as Pocahontas comes over to white demons; the Indians are put the ear corn bag on the ground, shes walks to Englishmen approaches, and sees John to be okay]'' :'''Thomas''': ''[to Pocahontas]'' Going back is his only chance. He'll die if he stays here. :'''Pocahontas''': ''[kneels beside John and offers him a bag]'' Here. It's from Grandmother Willow's bark. It'll help with the pain. :'''John Smith''': What pain? I've had worse pain than this. ''[winces]'' Agh! Can't think of any right now, but... :'''Powhatan''': ''[walks over]'' You are always welcome among our people. Thank you, my brother. :'''John Smith''': ''[to Flit]'' I thought you didn't like strangers. :''[Meeko, Percy and Flit to gives a fixing a Mother's necklace to Pocahontas by Kocoum]'' :'''Pocahontas''': My mother's necklace. :'''John Smith''': See ya, Percy. <hr width="50%"/> :'''John Smith''': Come with me? :''[Pocahontas looks over at her father.]'' :'''Powhatan''': You must choose your own path. :''[Pocahontas looks at her people and the settlers. She turns to John Smith.]'' :'''Pocahontas''': ''[with tears in her eyes]'' I'm needed here. :'''John Smith''': Then, I'll stay with you. :'''Pocahontas''': No. You have to go back. :'''John Smith''': But I can't leave you. :'''Pocahontas''': ''[spoken]'' You never will. No matter what happens, I'll always be with you, forever. ''[singing]'' And I’m so grateful to you… :'''John Smith''': ''[singing]'' I have lived whole life through… :''[They kiss goodbye.]'' :'''Lon''': Good luck, lad. :'''Thomas''': Godspeed, John. :'''Sailors''': The crew a-ready? Aye, sir! Set the mainsails. Weigh anchor! Let go of the topgallants! == Taglines == * An American legend comes to life * Two different worlds. One true love. == Cast == *Pocahontas (speaking) - [[w:Irene Bedard|Irene Bedard]] *Pocahontas (singing) - [[w:Judy Kuhn|Judy Kuhn]] *Captain John Smith - [[w:Mel Gibson|Mel Gibson]] *Governor Ratcliffe / Wiggins - [[w:David Ogden Stiers|David Ogden Stiers]] *Meeko - [[w:John Kassir|John Kassir]] *Flit - [[Frank Welker]] *Powhatan (speaking) - [[w:Russell Means|Russell Means]] *Powhatan (singing) - [[w:Jim Cummings|Jim Cummings]] *Thomas - [[Christian Bale]] *Grandmother Willow - [[w:Linda Hunt|Linda Hunt]] *[[w:Kocoum (Pocahontas character)|Kocoum]] - James Apaumut Fall *[[w:Nakoma (Pocahontas character)|Nakoma]] - [[w:Michelle St. John|Michelle St. John]] *Kekata (speaking) - [[w:Gordon Tootoosis|Gordon Tootoosis]] *Kekata (singing) - Jim Cummings == External links == {{wikipedia}} * {{imdb title|id=0114148|title=Pocahontas}} {{Authority control}} [[Category:1995 animated films]] [[Category:1995 American animated films]] [[Category:Traditionally animated films]] [[Category:American children's animated adventure films]] [[Category:American children's animated drama films]] [[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]] [[Category:American children's animated musical films]] [[Category:Films based on true stories]] [[Category:Films directed by Mike Gabriel]] [[Category:Films set in Virginia]] [[Category:The Walt Disney Company]] [[Category:Disney Princess films]] [[Category:Animated films about father–daughter relationships]] [[Category:Films about interracial romance]] [[Category:Disney Renaissance]] [[Category:1990s English-language films]] [[Category:Animated films about raccoons]] [[Category:Films about Native Americans]] bng33rzguqhevigcdycpshm49e3shyb 0 11937 3942242 3706817 2026-05-18T03:17:59Z PeacefulArmy18 3163717 /* Dialogue */ Dialogue addition 3942242 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Top Gun|Top Gun]]''''' is a [[w:1986 in film|1986 film]] about the macho students of an elite US Navy flying school for advanced fighter pilots who compete to be best in the class. :''Directed by [[w:Tony Scott|Tony Scott]] and written by Jim Cash and Jack Epps Jr., based on the article ''Top Guns'' written for ''California Magazine'' by Ehud Yonay.'' {{center|'''I feel the need. The need for speed.''' <small>[[#Taglines|Taglines]]</small>}} [[File:F-14 breaks the sound barrier.jpg|thumb|"I feel the need..." <br>"...the need for speed!"]] [[File:MCAS Miramar Insignia.png|thumb|Remember, boys, no points for second place.]] [[File:Flag of a United States Navy vice admiral.svg|thumb|Son, your ego is writing checks your body can't cash. You've been busted, you've lost your qualifications as section leader three times, put in hack twice by me, with a history of high speed passes over five air control towers—and one admiral's daughter! ]] [[File:Defense.gov News Photo 051201-N-5088T-001.jpg|thumb|"Is that why you fly the way you do? Trying to prove something? Yeah, your old man did it right. What I'm about to tell you is classified and it could end my career. We were in the worst dogfight I could've dreamed of. There were bogeys like fireflies all over the sky. His F-4 was hit; he was wounded, but he could've made it back. He stayed in it; saved three planes before he bought it." <br>"So you were there?" <br>"I was there."]] == Dialogue == :'''Stinger''': Maverick, you just did an incredibly brave thing. What you ''should'' have done was land your plane! You don't own that plane, the taxpayers do! Son, your ego is writing checks your body can't cash. You've been busted, you've lost your qualifications as section leader three times, put in hack twice by me, with a history of high speed passes over five air control towers—and one admiral's daughter! :'''Goose''': Penny Benjamin? ''[Maverick shrugs]'' :'''Stinger''': ''[to Goose]'' And you, asshole, you're lucky to be here! :'''Goose''': Thank you, sir. :'''Stinger''': And let's not bullshit, Maverick. Your family name ain't the best in the Navy. You need to be doing it better and cleaner than the other guy. Now what is it with you? :'''Maverick''': Just want to serve my country; be the best fighter pilot in the Navy, sir! :'''Stinger''': Don't screw around with me, Maverick. You're one hell of an instinctive pilot. Maybe too good. I'd like to bust your butt but I can't. I got another problem here. I gotta send somebody from this squadron to Miramar. I gotta do something here, I⁠—I still can't believe it. I gotta give you your dream shot! I'm gonna send you up against the best. You two characters...are going to Top Gun. For five weeks, you'll be flying against the best fighter pilots in the world. You were number two, Cougar was number one. Cougar lost it⁠—turned in his wings. ''You'' guys are number one. But you remember one thing: ''[pinches fingers for emphasis]'' if you screw up just this much, you'll be flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong! :'''Maverick''': Yes sir! <hr width="50%"/> :''[Commander Mike "Viper" Metcalf talks to the Top Gun cadets]'' :'''Goose''': ''[as Maverick is looking around the room]'' What are you doing? :'''Maverick''': Just wondering who's the best. :'''Viper''': In case some of you are wondering who the best is, they're up here on this plaque on the wall. The best driver and his RIO from each class has his name on it, and they have the option to come back here to be Top Gun instructors. ''[turns to Maverick]'' You think your name's gonna be on that plaque? :'''Maverick''': Yes, sir. :'''Viper''': That's pretty arrogant, considering the company you're in. :'''Maverick''': ''[pauses]'' Yes, sir. :'''Viper''': ''[smiles]'' I like that in a pilot. Just remember, when it's over out there, we're all on the same team. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Iceman''': Sorry to hear about Cougar. He and I were like brothers in flight school. He was a good man. :'''Maverick''': Still is a good man. :'''Iceman''': Yeah, that's what I meant. ''[pause]'' You need any help? :'''Maverick''': With what? :'''Iceman''': You figured it out yet? :'''Maverick''': What's that? :'''Iceman''': Who's the best pilot. :'''Maverick''': You know, I think I can figure that one out on my own. :'''Iceman''': I heard that about you. You like to work alone. :'''Slider''': Mav, you must've sold under a lucky star, huh? I mean, first the MiG, and then you guys slide into Cougar's spot. :'''Goose''': We didn't slide into Cougar's spot. It was ours, okay? :'''Slider''': Yeah, well, some pilots wait their whole career just to see a MiG up close. Guess you guys are lucky and famous, huh? :'''Iceman''': No, you mean notorious. See you later. :'''Maverick''': You can count on it. <hr width="50%"/> :''[At the preflight briefing, Charlie talks about how what is currently known about the MiG-28]'' :'''Charlie''': We will be dealing with F-5s and A-4s as our MiG simulators. Now then, as most of you know, the F-5 doesn’t have the thrust to weight ratio that the MiG-28 has and it doesn’t bleed energy below 300 knots like the MiG-28. However the MiG-28 does have a problem with its inverted flight tank, it won’t do a Negative G push-over. The latest intelligence tells us that the most it will do is 1 Negative- ''[notices Goose and Maverick are whispering to each other]'' ''[to Maverick]'' Excuse me, Lieutenant. Is there something wrong? :'''Maverick''': Yes ma’am, the data on the MiG is inaccurate. :'''Charlie''': How’s that, Lieutenant? :'''Maverick''': Well I just happened to see a MiG-28— :'''Goose''': We! :'''Maverick''': Sorry, Goose. ''We'' happened to see a MiG-28 do a 4G Negative dive. :'''Charlie''': Where did you see this? :'''Maverick''': That’s classified. :'''Charlie''': ''[Incredulous]'' It’s ''what''? :'''Maverick''': It’s classified. I could tell you but then I’d have to kill you. :'''Charlie''': Lieutenant, I have Top Secret clearance. The Pentagon sees to it that I know more than you. :'''Maverick''': Well ma’am, it doesn’t seem so in this case, now does it? :'''Charlie''': So, Lieutenant, where exactly were you? :'''Maverick''': Well, ''we''.. :'''Goose''': Thank you. :'''Maverick''': Started up on his 6 when he pulled through the clouds then I moved in above him. :'''Charlie''': Well if you were directly above him, how could you see him? :'''Maverick''': Because I was inverted. :'''Iceman''': ''[Fake cough]'' Bullshit. :''[The class laughs]'' :'''Goose''': No, he was, man. It was really a great move. He was inverted. :'''Charlie''': You were in a 4G inverted dive with a MiG-28? :'''Maverick''': Yes, ma’am. :'''Charlie''': At what range? :'''Maverick''': Um ''[turns to Goose]'' about 2 metres? :'''Goose''': Well it’s actually about 1 1/2, I think. I’ve got a great Polaroid of it, he’s right there. Must be 1 1/2. :'''Charlie''': Uh, Lieutenant, what were you doing there? :'''Goose''': Communicating. :'''Maverick''': Communicating. Keeping up foreign relations. I was, you know, giving him the bird. :'''Goose''': ''[Extending his middle finger]'' You know, the finger! :'''Charlie''': Yes, I know the finger, Goose. :'''Goose''': I’m sorry, I hate it when it does that. ''[Embarrassed]'' Excuse me. :'''Charlie''': ''[to Maverick]'' So you're the one. :'''Maverick''': Yes, ma'am. <hr width="50%"/> :''[after the first hop, Maverick and Goose celebrate their victory over Jester, but Iceman and Slider tell everybody that they made the kill below the hard deck, which was not allowed.]'' :'''Maverick''': Hard deck my ass. We nailed that son of a bitch. ''[gives Goose a high five]'' :'''Iceman''': Wow, you guys really are cowboys. :'''Maverick''': ''[Faces Iceman]'' What's your problem, Kazanski? :'''Iceman''': ''[Slams helmet locker's door and faces Maverick]'' You're everyone's problem. That's because every time you go up in the air, you're unsafe. I don't like you because you're dangerous. :'''Maverick''': That's right! Ice…man. I ''am'' dangerous. ''[Iceman makes biting motion]'' :'''Jester''': Maverick. ''[Maverick and Goose look at him]'' You and Goose get your asses outta that flight gear and up to Viper's office now. ''[leaves locker room]'' :'''Slider''': Remember, boys, no points for second place. :'''Goose''': You're a lot brighter than you look— :'''Slider''': Oh, you shut up. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Maverick''': '''I feel the need...''' :'''Maverick and Goose''': '''...the need for speed!''' ''[Maverick and Goose high five]'' :''Note: Bolded lines are ranked No. 94 in [[w:AFI's 100 Years...100 Movie Quotes|AFI's 100 Years...100 Movie Quotes]].'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[During Hop 19, a different voice breaks in]'' :'''Viper''': Good morning, gentlemen, the temperature is 110 degrees. :'''Wolfman''': Holy shit, it's Viper! :'''Goose''': Viper's up here, great… oh shit… :'''Maverick''': Great, he's probably saying, "Holy shit, it's Maverick and Goose." :'''Goose''': Yeah, I'm sure he's saying that. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Maverick''': ''[as Charlie screeches to a halt after chasing Maverick on his motorcycle]'' JESUS CHRIST, AND YOU THINK I'M RECKLESS? WHEN I FLY, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT MY CREW AND MY PLANE COME FIRST! :'''Charlie''': Well, I am going to ''[bangs the car's door]'' FINISH MY SENTENCE, LIEUTENANT! My review of your flight performance was RIGHT ON! :'''Maverick''': Is that right? :'''Charlie''': That is right, but I held something back. I see some real genius in your flying, Maverick, but I can't say that in there. I was afraid that everyone in the TAC's trailer would see right through me, and I just don't want anyone to know that I've fallen for you. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Maverick visits Viper at his house]'' :'''Viper''': I flew with your old man. [[w:VF-51|VF-51]], the ''[[w:USS Oriskany (CV-34)|Oriskany]]''. You're a lot like he was. Only better… and worse. He was a natural heroic son of a bitch, that one. :'''Maverick''': So he ''did'' do it right. :'''Viper''': Yeah, he did right. Is that why you fly the way you do? Trying to prove something? Yeah, your old man did it right. ''[Maverick and Viper take a walk.]'' What I'm about to tell you is classified and it could end my career. We were in the worst dogfight I could've dreamed of. There were bogeys like fireflies all over the sky. His F-4 was hit; he was wounded, but he could've made it back. He stayed in it; saved three planes before he bought it. :'''Maverick''': How come I never heard that before? :'''Viper''': Well that's not something the State Department tells its dependents when the battle occurred over the wrong line on some map. :'''Maverick''': So you were there? :'''Viper''': I was there. What's on your mind? :'''Maverick''': My options, sir. :'''Viper''': Simple. First, you've acquired enough points to show up and graduate with your Top Gun class, or you can quit. There'll be no disgrace. That spin was hell; it would've shook me up. :'''Maverick''': So you think I should quit? :'''Viper''': I didn't say that. The simple fact is you feel responsible for Goose and you have a confidence problem. Now I'm not gonna sit here and blow sunshine up your ass, Lieutenant. A good pilot is compelled to always evaluate what's happened, so he can apply what he's learned. Up there, we gotta push it. That's our job. It's your option, Lieutenant. All yours. :'''Maverick''': Sorry to bother you on a Sunday, sir, but thank you very much for your time. :'''Viper''': No problem. Good luck. <hr width="50%"/> :''[At the carrier, in the midst of the MiG battle, Stinger asks the status of the reinforcement planes]'' :'''Stinger''': What about Willard and Simkins? :'''Officer''': Both catapults are broken sir, we cannot launch any aircraft yet. :'''Stinger''': How long? :'''Officer''': It'll take ten minutes. :'''Stinger''': Bullshit ten minutes! This thing will be over in ''two'' minutes, get on it! <hr width= "50%"> :'''Merlin''': Mav, what're doin', you're slowin' down! :'''Maverick''': Gonna let him get a little closer. :'''Merlin''' ''(incredulous)'': You're gonna do ''what?!'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[The Enterprise's ground crew cheer on Maverick and Merlin when Iceman meets them]'' :'''Iceman''': You! You are still dangerous. ''[smiles]'' You can be my wingman any time. :'''Maverick''': Bullshit! You can be mine. ''(They hug; they're friends now)'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Stinger''': They gave you your choice of duty, son. Anything, anywhere. Do you believe that shit? Where do you think you wanna go? :'''Maverick''': I thought of being an instructor, sir. :'''Stinger''': Top Gun?! :'''Maverick''': Yes, sir. :'''Stinger''': God help us. == Taglines == * I feel the need, the need for speed. * Up there with the best of the best. * Great balls of fire! == Cast == * [[Tom Cruise]] - LT Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell * [[w:Anthony Edwards (actor)|Anthony Edwards]] - LTJG Nick 'Goose' Bradshaw * [[Val Kilmer]] - LT Tom 'Iceman' Kazanski * [[w:Rick Rossovich|Rick Rossovich]] - LTJG Ron 'Slider' Kerner * [[w:James Tolkan|James Tolkan]] - CDR Tom 'Stinger' Jardian * [[w:Kelly McGillis|Kelly McGillis]] - Charlotte 'Charlie' Blackwood * [[w:Meg Ryan|Meg Ryan]] - Carol Bradshaw * [[w:Tom Skerritt|Tom Skerritt]] - CDR Mike 'Viper' Metcalf * [[w:Michael Ironside|Michael Ironside]] - LCDR Rick 'Jester' Heatherly * [[w:John Stockwell|John Stockwell]] - Cougar * [[w:Barry Tubb|Barry Tubb]] - Wolfman * [[w:Tim Robbins|Tim Robbins]] - LTJG Sam 'Merlin' Wells * [[w:Whip Hubley|Whip Hubley]] - LT Rick 'Hollywood' Neven == External links == {{wikipedia|Top Gun (film)}} * {{imdb title|id=0092099|title=Top Gun}} * {{rotten-tomatoes|id=top_gun|title=Top Gun}} [[Category:1986 films]] [[Category:1980s American films]] [[Category:Action films]] [[Category:Adventure films]] [[Category:Romantic drama films]] [[Category:Airplane films]] [[Category:United States National Film Registry films]] [[Category:Films set in California]] [[Category:Films about the United States Navy]] abc8ulw6cnct0f7w8gf41ci3bbqauo4 0 12274 3942061 3932663 2026-05-17T13:50:48Z Ficaia 3085955 tidy; reduce overlinking, overbolding, random images 3942061 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Wallace Stevens, 1948.jpg|thumb|I like my [[philosophy]] smothered in [[beauty]] and not the opposite.]] '''[[w:Wallace Stevens|Wallace Stevens]]''' ([[2 October]] [[1879]] – [[2 August]] [[1955]]) was an American modernist [[poet]] and [[businessman]]. == Quotes == [[File:1916-S 50C (obv).jpg|thumb|One ought not to hoard culture. It should be adapted and infused into society as a leaven.]] [[File:Mercury dime pattern.jpg|thumb|To be young is all there is in the world.]] * One ought not to hoard [[culture]]. It should be adapted and infused into society as a leaven. Liberality of culture does not mean illiberality of its benefits. ** Journal entry (June 20, 1899); in Holly Stevens, ed., ''Souvenirs and Prophecies: The Young Wallace Stevens'' (New York: Knopf, 1977), ch. 3 * A diary is more or less the work of a man of clay whose hands are clumsy and in whose eyes there is no light. ** Journal entry (July 26, 1899); in ''Souvenirs and Prophecies'', ch. 3 * Poor, dear, silly Spring, preparing her annual surprise! ** Journal entry (March 4, 1906), in ''Souvenirs and Prophecies'', ch. 8 * In European thought in general, as contrasted with American, vigor, life and originality have a kind of easy, professional utterance. American — on the other hand, is expressed in an eager amateurish way. A European gives a sense of scope, of survey, of consideration. An American is strained, sensational. One is artistic gold; the other is bullion. ** Journal entry (April 9, 1906); in Holly Stevens, ed., ''Letters of Wallace Stevens'' (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1966), no. 112 * '''To be young is all there is in the world.''' The rest is nonsense — and cant. They talk so beautifully about [[work]] and having a family and a home (and I do, too, sometimes) — but it's all worry and head-aches and respectable poverty and forced gushing. ... Telling people how nice it is, when, in reality, you would give all of your last thirty years for one of your first thirty. Old people are tremendous frauds. ** Letter to his future wife Elsie Moll Kachel (March 21, 1907); in ''Letters of Wallace Stevens'', no. 125 * How full of trifles everything is! It is only one’s [[thoughts]] that fill a room with something more than furniture. ** Letter to his future wife Elsie Moll Kachel (May 16, 1907); in ''Souvenirs and Prophecies'', ch. 9 * Unfortunately there is nothing more inane than an Easter carol. It is a religious perversion of the activity of [[Spring]] in our blood. ** Letter to his future wife, Elsie Moll Kachel (April 23, 1916); in ''Letters of Wallace Stevens'', no. 202 * The day of the [[sun]] is like the day of a king. It is a promenade in the [[morning]], a sitting on the throne at noon, a pageant in the evening. ** Journal entry (April 20, 1920); in ''Souvenirs and Prophecies'', ch. 6 [[File:Casa Marina, Key West, Florida - Wallace Stevens (cropped).jpg|thumb|Everything is [[complicated]]; if that were not so, life and poetry and everything else would be a bore.]] * '''Everything is complicated'''; if that were not so, life and poetry and everything else would be a bore. ** Letter (December 19, 1935); in ''Letters of Wallace Stevens'', no. 336 * If some really acute observer made as much of [[egotism]] as [[Sigmund Freud|Freud]] has made of [[sex]], people would forget a good deal about sex and find the explanation for everything in egotism. ** Letter (January 10, 1936); in ''Letters of Wallace Stevens'', no. 339 * The essential thing in form is to be free in whatever form is used. A free form does not assure freedom. As a form, it is just one more form. So that it comes to this, I suppose, that I believe in freedom regardless of form. ** "A Note on Poetry" (1937); in William Rose Benét and Norman Holmes Pearson, eds., ''The Oxford Anthology of American Literature'', vol. 2 (New York: Oxford UP, 1938), p. 1325 * Poetry is poetry, and one’s objective as a poet is to achieve poetry precisely as one’s objective in music is to achieve music. ** "Why He Selected 'Domination in Black'", in Whit Burnett, ed., ''This Is My Best'' (New York: The Dial Press, 1942), p. 652 * The palm at the end of the mind,<br>Beyond the last thought, rises...{{pb}}A gold-feathered bird<br>Sings in the palm. ** "Of Mere Being", sts. 1–2, in Holly Stevens, ed., ''The Palm at the End of the Mind: Selected Poems and a Play'' (New York: Vintage, 1972), p. 398 === ''Harmonium'' (1923) === [[File:In the Peristyle, by Waterhouse (WikiArt).jpg|thumb|Poetry is the supreme fiction, madame.]] <!--[[File:Boyle Abbey Nave 1997 09 17.jpg|thumb|Take the moral law and make a [[w:Nave|nave]] of it <br> And from the nave build haunted heaven.]]--> <!--[[File:Christ's triumphal entry into Jerusalem, by Félix Louis Leullier - WikiArt.png|thumb|Palm for palm, <br> Madame, we are where we began.]]--> * '''Poetry is the supreme fiction, madame.''' <br> Take the moral law and make a [[w:Nave|nave]] of it <br> And from the nave build haunted heaven. Thus, <br> The conscience is converted into palms, <br> Like windy [[w:Cittern|citherns]] hankering for hymns. ** "[[w:A High-Toned Old Christian Woman|A High-Toned Old Christian Woman]]", l. 1 ** First published in ''The Dial'', no. 73 (July 1922) * We agree in principle. That's clear. But take <br> The opposing law and make a [[w:peristyle|peristyle]], <br> And from the peristyle project a masque <br> Beyond the planets. Thus, our bawdiness, <br> Unpurged by epitaph, indulged at last, <br> Is equally converted into palms, <br> Squiggling like saxophones. And palm for palm, <br> Madame, we are where we began. ** "A High-Toned Old Christian Woman", l. 6 * This will make widows wince. But fictive things <br> Wink as they will. Wink most when widows wince. ** "A High-Toned Old Christian Woman", l. 21 * I placed a jar in Tennessee <br> And round it was, upon a hill. <br> It made the slovenly wilderness <br> Surround that hill. <br> The wilderness rose upon it, <br> And sprawled around, no longer wild. ** "[[w:Anecdote of the Jar|Anecdote of the Jar]]" * It took dominion everywhere. <br> The jar was gray and bare. <br> It did not give of bird or bush, <br> Like nothing else in Tennessee. ** "Anecdote of the Jar" * The soul, he said, is composed <br> Of the external world. ** "[[w:Anecdote of Men by the Thousand|Anecdote of Men by the Thousand]]" * '''There are men of the East, he said, <br> who are the East.''' <br> There are men of a province <br> who are that province. <br> There are men of a valley <br> who are that valley. ** "Anecdote of Men by the Thousand" [[File:An elderly Tibetan women holding a prayer wheel on Lhasa, Barkhor.jpg|thumb|The dress of a woman of Lhassa, <br> in its place <br> is an invisible element of that place <br> made visible.]] * The dress of a woman of Lhassa, <br> in its place <br> is an invisible element of that place <br> made visible. ** "Anecdote of Men by the Thousand" * Chieftain Iffucan of Azcan in caftan<br>Of tan with henna hackles, halt! ** "[[w:Bantam in Pine-Woods|Bantam in Pine-Woods]]", st. 1 * Damned universal cock, as if the sun<br>Was blackamoor to bear your blazing tail. ** "Bantam in Pine-Woods", st. 2 * The houses are haunted<br>By white night-gowns.<br>None are green,<br>Or purple with green rings,<br>Or green with yellow rings,<br>Or yellow with blue rings.<br>None of them are strange,<br>With socks of lace<br>And beaded ceintures.<br>People are not going<br>To dream of baboons and periwinkles.<br>'''Only, here and there, an old sailor,<br>Drunk and asleep in his boots,<br>Catches tigers<br>In red weather.''' ** "[[w:Disillusionment of Ten O'Clock|Disillusionment of Ten O'Clock]]" [[File:PeackockSide.jpg|thumb|right|I heard them cry — the peacocks.]] <!--[[File:PavoReal albino.jpg|thumb|I felt afraid. <br> And I remembered the cry of the peacocks.]]--> * '''I heard them cry — the peacocks.''' <br> Was it a cry against the twilight <br> Or against the leaves themselves <br> Turning in the wind, <br> Turning as the flames <br> Turned in the fire, <br> Turning as the tails of the peacocks <br> Turned in the loud fire, <br> Loud as the hemlocks <br> Full of the cry of the peacocks? <br> Or was it a cry against the hemlocks? ** "Domination of Black" * I saw how the night came, <br> Came striding like the color of the heavy hemlocks. <br> I felt afraid. <br> And I remembered the cry of the peacocks. ** "Domination of Black" * Frogs Eat Butterflies. Snakes Eat Frogs. Hogs Eat Snakes. Men Eat Hogs. ** [[w:Frogs Eat Butterflies. Snakes Eat Frogs. Hogs Eat Snakes. Men Eat Hogs|Title of poem]] * That strange flower, the [[sun]], <br> Is just what you say. <br> Have it your way.{{pb}}The world is ugly, <br> And the people are sad. ** "Gubbinal" * That tuft of jungle feathers, <br> That animal eye, <br> Is just what you say.{{pb}}That savage of fire, <br> That seed, <br> Have it your way.{{pb}}The world is ugly, <br> And the people are sad. ** "Gubbinal" * Twenty men crossing a bridge, <br> Into a village, <br> Are twenty men crossing twenty bridges, <br> Into twenty villages, <br> Or one man <br> Crossing a single bridge into a village. ** "[[w:Metaphors of a Magnifico|Metaphors of a Magnifico]]" * This is old song <br> That will not declare itself. ** "Metaphors of a Magnifico" * Twenty men crossing a bridge, <br> Into a village, <br> Are <br> Twenty men crossing a bridge <br> Into a village. ** "Metaphors of a Magnifico" * The boots of the men clump <br> On the boards of the bridge. <br> The first white wall of the village <br> Rises through fruit-trees. <br> Of what was it I was thinking? <br> So the meaning escapes. ** "Metaphors of a Magnifico" [[File:STS-95 Florida From Space.jpg|thumb|A few things for themselves, <br> [[Florida]], venereal soil, <br> Disclose to the lover.]] * A few things for themselves, <br> [[Florida]], venereal soil, <br> Disclose to the lover. ** "[[w:O Florida, Venereal Soil|O Florida, Venereal Soil]]" * Donna, donna, dark, <br> Stooping in indigo gown <br> And cloudy constellations, <br> Conceal yourself or disclose <br> Fewest things to the lover — <br> A hand that bears a thick-leaved fruit, <br> A pungent bloom against your shade. ** "O Florida, Venereal Soil" * Gloomy grammarians in golden gowns, <br> Meekly you keep the mortal rendezvous, <br> Eliciting the still sustaining pomps <br> Of speech which are like music so profound <br> They seem an exaltation without sound. ** "[[w:On the Manner of Addressing Clouds|On the Manner of Addressing Clouds]]" * These <br> Are the [[music]] of meet resignation; these <br> The responsive, still sustaining pomps for you <br> To magnify, if in that drifting waste <br> You are to be accompanied by more <br> Than mute bare splendors of the [[sun]] and [[moon]]. ** "On the Manner of Addressing Clouds" [[File:Stuck Susanna.jpg|thumb|Susanna's music touched the bawdy strings <br> Of those white elders; but, escaping, <br> Left only Death's ironic scraping.]] * Just as my fingers on these keys <br> Make music, so the self-same sounds <br> On my spirit make a music, too. <br> '''Music is feeling, then, not sound; <br> And thus it is that what I feel, <br> Here in this room, desiring you, <br> Thinking of your blue-shadowed silk, <br> Is music.''' ** "[[w:Peter Quince at the Clavier|Peter Quince at the Clavier]]", I ** First published in [[w:Others: A Magazine of the New Verse|''Others: A Magazine of the New Verse'']] (1915) * In the green water, clear and warm, <br> [[w:Susanna (Book of Daniel)|Susanna]] lay. <br> She searched <br> The touch of springs, <br> And found <br> Concealed imaginings. <br> She sighed, <br> For so much melody. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", II * Upon the bank, she stood <br> In the cool <br> Of spent emotions. <br> She felt, among the leaves, <br> The dew <br> Of old devotions. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", II * She walked upon the grass, <br> Still quavering. <br> The winds were like her maids, <br> On timid feet, <br> Fetching her woven scarves, <br> Yet wavering. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", II * A breath upon her hand <br> Muted the night. <br> She turned — <br> A cymbal crashed, <br> Amid roaring horns. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", II [[File:Elsie Stevens LCCN2014699244 (cropped).jpg|thumb|Beauty is momentary in the mind — <br> The fitful tracing of a portal; <br> But in the flesh it is immortal. {{pb}} The body dies; the body's beauty lives.]] * '''Beauty is momentary in the mind — <br> The fitful tracing of a portal; <br> But in the flesh it is immortal. {{pb}} The body dies; the body's beauty lives.''' <br> So evenings die, in their green going, <br> A wave, interminably flowing. <br> So gardens die, their meek breath scenting <br> The cowl of winter, done repenting. <br> So maidens die, to the auroral <br> Celebration of a maiden's choral. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", IV * Susanna's music touched the bawdy strings <br> Of those white elders; but, escaping, <br> Left only Death's ironic scraping. <br> Now, in its immortality, it plays <br> On the clear viol of her memory, <br> And makes a constant sacrament of praise. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", IV [[File:Picswiss NW-26-35.jpg|thumb|[[Death]] is the mother of [[Beauty]].]] * Complacencies of the peignoir, and late<br>Coffee and oranges in a sunny chair,<br>And the green freedom of a cockatoo<br>Upon a rug mingle to dissipate<br>The holy hush of ancient sacrifice. ** "[[w:Sunday Morning (poem)|Sunday Morning]]", I * What is divinity if it can come<br>Only in silent shadows and in dreams? ** "Sunday Morning", II * She says, "But in contentment I still feel<br>The need of some imperishable bliss.<br>"'''Death is the mother of Beauty'''; hence from her,<br>Alone, shall come fulfilment to our dreams<br>And our desires. ** "Sunday Morning", V * We live in an old chaos of the sun, <br> Or an old dependency of day and night, <br> Or island solitude, unsponsored, free, <br> Of that wide water, inescapable.<br> Deer walk upon our mountains, and quail <br> Whistle about us their spontaneous cries; <br> Sweet berries ripen in the wilderness; <br> And, in the isolation of the sky, <br> At evening, casual flocks of pigeons make <br> Ambiguous undulations as they sink, <br> Downward to darkness, on extended wings. ** "Sunday Morning", VIII * The book of moonlight is not written yet. ** "[[w:The Comedian as the Letter C|The Comedian as the Letter C]]", III, st. 1 * And as he came he saw that it was spring,<br>A time abhorrent to the nihilist<br>Or searcher for the fecund minimum. ** "The Comedian as the Letter C", III, st. 4 * The natives of the rain are rainy men. ** "The Comedian as the Letter C", IV, st. 1 * The plum survives its poems. ** "The Comedian as the Letter C", V, st. 1 * Green crammers of the green fruits of the world. ** "The Comedian as the Letter C", VI, st. 2 [[File:Standard guide to Cuba - a new and complete guide to the island of Cuba, with maps, illustrations, routes of travel, history, and an English-Spanish phrase book (1909) (14594902008).jpg|thumb|Let be be finale of seem. <br> The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.]] <!--[[File:Women and Child - Cienfuegos - Cuba (3794729068).jpg|thumb|]]--> * Call the roller of big cigars,<br>The muscular one, and bid him whip<br>In kitchen cups concupiscent curds.<br>Let the wenches dawdle in such dress <br> As they are used to wear, and let the boys <br> Bring flowers in last month's newspapers. <br> '''Let be be finale of seem. <br> The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.''' ** "[[w:The Emperor of Ice-Cream|The Emperor of Ice-Cream]]", st. 1 <!-- [http://www.english.uiuc.edu/maps/poets/s_z/stevens/emperor.htm Commentary on this poem] at ''Modern American Poetry'' (University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign) // Compare: ''[[Hamlet]]'', act 1, sc. 2, ll. 70-89; act 4, sc. 3, ll. 19-28 (Folger Shakespeare Online) --> * Take from the dresser of deal, <br> Lacking the three glass knobs, that sheet <br> On which she embroidered fantails once <br> And spread it so as to cover her face. <br> If her horny feet protrude, they come <br> To show how cold she is, and dumb. <br> Let the lamp affix its beam. <br> The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream. ** "The Emperor of Ice-Cream", st. 2 * The essential gaudiness of poetry. ** "The Emperor of Ice Cream", note [[File:2026-03-01 Snow in Tsqneti Forest Park.jpg|thumb|One must have a mind of winter <br> To regard the frost and the boughs <br> Of the pine-trees crusted with snow;<br>* * *<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;and not to think <br> Of any misery in the sound of the wind.]] * One must have a mind of winter <br> To regard the frost and the boughs <br> Of the pine-trees crusted with snow;{{pb}}And have been cold a long time <br> To behold the junipers shagged with ice, <br> The spruces rough in the distant glitter{{pb}}Of the January sun; and not to think <br> Of any misery in the sound of the wind, <br> In the sound of a few leaves,{{pb}}Which is the sound of the land <br> Full of the same wind <br> That is blowing in the same bare place{{pb}}For the listener, who listens in the snow, <br> And, nothing himself, beholds <br> Nothing that is not there and the nothing that is. ** "[[w:The Snow Man|The Snow Man]]" [[File:Boat-tailed Grackle, Sea Trail golf course, North Carolina RWD.jpg|thumb|Among twenty snowy mountains, <br> The only moving thing <br> Was the eye of the [[blackbird]].]] <!--[[File:Library Walk 22.JPG|thumb|I do not know which to prefer, <br> The beauty of inflections <br> Or the beauty of innuendoes, <br> The blackbird whistling <br> Or just after.]]--> * Among twenty snowy mountains, <br> The only moving thing <br> Was the eye of the blackbird. ** "[[w:Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird|Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird]]", I <!-- [http://boppin.com/poets/stevens.htm Full text online] // Sam Swope, [http://www.samswope.org/work2.htm "The Blackbird Is Flying, The Children Must Be Writing"] (an essay on the use of this poem as a teaching tool) --> * A man and a woman <br> Are [[Unity|one]]. <br> A man and a woman and a blackbird <br> Are one. ** "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird", IV * I do not know which to prefer, <br> The beauty of inflections <br> Or the beauty of innuendoes, <br> The blackbird whistling <br> Or just after. ** "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird", V * O thin men of Haddam, <br> Why do you imagine golden birds? <br> Do you not see how the blackbird <br> Walks around the feet <br> Of the women about you? ** "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird", VII * I know noble accents <br> And lucid, inescapable rhythms; <br> But I know, too, <br> That the blackbird is involved <br> In what I know. ** "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird", VIII * It was evening all afternoon. <br> It was snowing <br> And it was going to snow. <br> The blackbird sat <br> In the cedar-limbs. ** "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird", XIII * My candle burned alone in an immense valley. <br> Beams of the huge night converged upon it, <br> Until the wind blew. <br> Then beams of the huge night <br> Converged upon its image, <br> Until the wind blew. ** "Valley Candle" === ''Ideas of Order'' (1936) === * '''She sang beyond the genius of the sea.'''<br>The water never formed to mind or voice,<br>Like a body wholly body, fluttering<br>Its empty sleeves; and yet its mimic motion<br>Made constant cry, caused constantly a cry,<br>That was not ours although we understood,<br>Inhuman, of the veritable ocean. ** "[[w:The Idea of Order at Key West|The Idea of Order at Key West]]", st. 1 * Oh! Blessed rage for order, pale Ramon,<br>The maker’s rage to order words of the sea,<br>Words of the fragrant portals, dimly-starred,<br>And of ourselves and of our origins,<br>In ghostlier demarcations, keener sounds. ** "The Idea of Order at Key West", st. 7 * The sun, that brave man, <br> Comes through boughs that lie in wait, <br> That brave man.{{pb}}Green and gloomy eyes <br> In dark forms of the grass <br> Run away.{{pb}}The good stars, <br> Pale helms and spiky spurs, <br> Run away.{{pb}}Fears of my bed, <br> Fears of life and fears of death, <br> Run away.{{pb}}That brave man comes up <br> From below and walks without meditation, <br> That brave man. ** "The Brave Man" === ''The Man With the Blue Guitar'' (1937) === [[File:Bill Lewis. Guitar, Woman, Snake.jpg|thumb|But play, you must, <br> A tune beyond us, yet ourselves, <br> A tune upon the blue guitar <br> Of things exactly as they are.]] [[File:Anatomia del corpo humano.jpg|thumb|Things as they are have been destroyed. <br> Have I? Am I a man that is dead <br> At a table on which the food is cold?]] * The man bent over his guitar, <br> A shearsman of sorts. The day was green. {{pb}} '''They said, "You have a blue guitar, <br> You do not play things as they are." {{pb}} The man replied, "Things as they are <br> Are changed upon the blue guitar."''' {{pb}} And they said then, "But play, you must, <br> A tune beyond us, yet ourselves, {{pb}} A tune upon the blue guitar <br> Of things exactly as they are." ** I * If to serenade almost to man <br> Is to miss, by that, things as they are, <br> Say that it is the serenade <br> Of a man that plays a blue guitar. ** II * So that's life, then: things are they are? <br> It picks its way on the blue guitar. <br> A million people on one string? <br> And all their manner in the thing, <br> And all their manner, right and wrong, <br> And all their manner, weak and strong? <br> '''And that's life, then: things as they are, <br> This buzzing of the blue guitar.''' ** IV * Do not speak to us of the greatness of poetry, <br> Of the torches wisping in the underground, <br> Of the structure of vaults upon a point of light. <br> There are no shadows in our sun, <br> Day is desire and night is sleep. <br> There are no shadows anywhere. <br> The earth, for us, is flat and bare. <br> There are no shadows. ** V * The thinking of [[art]] seems final when <br> The thinking of [[god]] is smoky dew. ** VI * It is the sun that shares our works. <br> The moon shares nothing. It is a sea. <br> When shall I come to say of the sun, <br> It is a sea; it shares nothing; <br> The sun no longer shares our works <br> And the [[earth]] is alive with creeping men, <br> Mechanical beetles never quite warm? <br> And shall I then stand in the sun, as now <br> I stand in the moon, and call it good, <br> The immaculate, the merciful good, <br> Detached from us, from things as they are? <br> Not to be part of the sun? To stand <br> Remote and call it merciful? <br> The strings are cold on the blue guitar. ** VII * Struggling toward impassioned choirs, <br> Crying among the [[clouds]], enraged <br> By gold antagonists in air — <br> I know my lazy, leaden twang <br> Is like the reason in a [[storm]]; <br> And yet it brings the storm to bear. <br> I twang it out and leave it there. ** VIII * And the color, the overcast blue <br> Of the air, in which the blue guitar <br> Is a form, described but difficult, <br> And I am merely a shadow hunched <br> Above the arrowy, still string, <br> The maker of a thing yet to be made; <br> The color like a thought that grows <br> Out of a mood, the tragic robe <br> Of the actor, half his gesture, half <br> His speech, the dress of his meaning, silk <br> Sodden with his melancholy words, <br> The weather of his stage, himself. ** IX * Behold <br> The approach of him whom none believes, <br> Whom all believe that all believe, <br> A pagan in a varnished car. ** X * Slowly the ivy on the stones <br> Becomes the stones. Women become <br> The cities, children become the fields <br> And men in waves become the sea. ** XI * The sea returns upon the men, <br> The fields entrap the children, brick <br> Is a weed and all the flies are caught, <br> Wingless and withered, but living alive. <br> The discord merely magnified. <br> Deeper within the belly's dark <br> Of [[time]], time grows upon the rock. ** XI * The blue guitar <br> And I are one. ** XII * I know that timid breathing. Where <br> Do I begin and end? And where, <br> As I strum the thing, do I pick up <br> That which momentously declares <br> Itself not to be I and yet <br> Must be. It could be nothing else. ** XII * Be content — <br> Expansions, diffusions — content to be <br> The unspotted imbecile revery, <br> The heraldic center of the world <br> Of blue, blue sleek with a hundred chins, <br> The amorist Adjective aflame. ** XIII * First one beam, then another, then <br> A thousand are radiant in the sky. <br> Each is both star and orb; and day <br> Is the riches of their atmosphere. ** XIV * A candle is enough to light the world. <br> It makes it clear. Even at noon <br> It glistens in essential dark. <br> At night, it lights the fruit and wine, <br> The book and bread, things as they are. ** XIV * Things as they are have been destroyed. <br> Have I? Am I a man that is dead <br> At a table on which the food is cold? <br> Is my thought a memory, not alive? <br> Is the spot on the floor, there, wine or blood <br> And whichever it may be, is it mine? ** XV * Place honey on the altars and die, <br> You lovers that are bitter at heart. ** XVI * That I may reduce the monster to <br> Myself, and then may be myself <br> In face of the monster, be more than part <br> Of it, more than the monstrous player of <br> One of its monstrous lutes, not be <br> Alone, but reduce the monster and be, <br> Two things, the two together as one, <br> And play of the monster and of myself, <br> Or better not of myself at all, <br> But of that as its intelligence, <br> Being the lion in the lute <br> Before the lion locked in stone. ** XIX * What is there in life except one's ideas. <br> Good air, good friend, what is there in life? <br> Is it ideas that I believe? ** XX * A substitute for all the gods: <br> This self, not that gold self aloft, <br> Alone, one's shadow magnified, <br> Lord of the body, looking down, <br> As now and called most high, <br> The shadow of Chocorua <br> In an immenser heaven, aloft, <br> Alone, lord of the land and lord <br> Of the men that live in the land, high lord. <br> One's self and the mountains of one's land, <br> Without shadows, without magnificence, <br> The flesh, the bone, the dirt, the stone. ** XXI * '''Poetry is the subject of the poem''', <br> From this the poem issues and <br> To this returns. Between the two, <br> Between issue and return, there is <br> An absence in reality, <br> Things as they are. Or so we say. <br> But are these separate? ** XXII * I play. But this is what I think. ** XXIV * The swarm of thoughts, the swarm of dreams <br> Of inaccessible Utopia. <br> A mountainous music always seemed <br> To be falling and to be passing away. ** XXVI * It is the sea that whitens the roof. <br> The sea drifts through the winter air. <br> It is the sea that the north wind makes. <br> The sea is in the falling snow. <br> This gloom is the darkness of the sea. ** XXVII * I am a native in this world <br> And think in it as a native thinks. ** XXVIII * The wind in which the dead leaves blow. <br> Here I inhale profounder strength <br> And as I am, I speak and move <br> And things are as I think they are <br> And say they are on the blue guitar. ** XXVIII * What is beyond the cathedral, outside, <br> Balances with nuptial song. <br> So it is to sit and to balance things <br> To and to and to the point of still, <br> To say of one mask it is like, <br> To say of another it is like, <br> To know that the balance does not quite rest, <br> That the mask is strange, however like. ** XXIX * Throw away the lights, the definitions, <br> And say of what you see in the dark <br> That it is this or that it is that, <br> But do not use the rotted names. <br> How should you walk in that space and know <br> Nothing of the madness of space, <br> Nothing of its jocular procreations? <br> Throw the lights away. Nothing must stand <br> Between you and the shapes you take <br> When the crust of shape has been destroyed. ** XXXII * Here is the bread of time to come, <br> Here is its actual stone. The bread <br> Will be our bread, the stone will be <br> Our bed and we shall sleep by night. <br> We shall forget by day, except <br> The [[moments]] when we choose to play <br> The imagined pine, the imagined jay. ** XXXIII === ''Notes Toward a Supreme Fiction'' (1942) === ==== It Must Be Abstract ==== [[File:Nieslysz SunSet.JPG|thumb|Perhaps <br> The truth depends on a walk around a lake.]] <!--[[File:Apolocitaredo8.jpg|thumb|There was a myth before the myth began, <br> Venerable and articulate and complete.]]--> <!--[[File:500px photo (110152959).jpeg|thumb|We are the mimics. Clouds are pedagogues.]]--> * Begin, ephebe, by perceiving the idea <br> Of this invention, this invented world, <br> The inconceivable idea of the sun.{{pb}}'''You must become an ignorant man again <br> And see the sun again with an ignorant eye <br> And see it clearly in the idea of it.'''{{pb}}Never suppose an inventing mind as source <br> Of this idea nor for that mind compose <br> A voluminous master folded in his fire. ** I * The death of one god is the death of all. ** I * Phoebus is dead, ephebe. But Phoebus was <br> A name for something that never could be named. <br> There was a project for the sun and is.{{pb}}There is a project for the sun. The sun <br> Must bear no name, gold flourisher, but be <br> In the difficulty of what it is to be. ** I * So poisonous{{pb}}Are the ravishments of truth, so fatal to <br> The truth itself, the first idea becomes <br> The hermit in a poet’s metaphors,{{pb}}Who comes and goes and comes and goes all day. ** II * The monastic man is an artist.The philosopher <br> Appoints man’s place in music, say, today. <br> But the priest desires. The philosopher desires.{{pb}}And not to have is the beginning of desire. <br> To have what is not is its ancient cycle. ** II * It is the celestial ennui of apartments<br>That sends us back to the first idea. ** II * The poem refreshes life so that we share, <br> For a moment, the first idea... It satisfies <br> Belief in an immaculate beginning{{pb}}And sends us, winged by an unconscious will, <br> To an immaculate end. ** III * The poem, through candor, brings back a power again <br> That gives a candid kind to everything. ** III * Life’s nonsense pierces us with strange relation. ** III * And still the grossest iridescence of ocean<br>Howls hoo and rises and howls hoo and falls. ** III * The first idea was not our own. Adam <br> In Eden was the father of Descartes <br> And eve made air the mirror of herself,{{pb}}Of her sons and of her daughters. ** IV * The clouds preceded us.{{pb}}There was a muddy centre before we breathed. <br> There was a myth before the myth began, <br> Venerable and articulate and complete.{{pb}}From this the poem springs: that we live in a place <br> That is not our own and, much more, not ourselves <br> And hard it is in spite of blazoned days. ** IV * We are the mimics. Clouds are pedagogues. ** IV * Abysmal instruments make sounds like pips <br> Of the sweeping meanings that we add to them. ** IV * Yet voluble of dumb violence. You look <br> Across the roofs as sigil and as ward <br> And in your centre mark them and are cowed. ** V * Not to be realized because not to <br> Be seen, not to be loved nor hated because <br> Not to be realized. ** VI * Without a name and nothing to be desired, <br> If only imagined but imagined well. ** VI * My house has changed a little in the sun. <br> The fragrance of the magnolias come close, <br> False flick, false form, but falseness close to kin. ** VI * It must be visible or invisible, <br> Invisible or visible or both: <br> A seeing and unseeing in the eye.{{pb}}The weather and the giant of the weather, <br> Say the weather, the mere weather, the mere air: <br> An abstraction blooded, as a man by thought. ** VI * Perhaps <br> The truth depends on a walk around a lake,{{pb}}A composing as the body tires, a stop <br> To see hepatica, a stop to watch <br> A definition growing certain and{{pb}}A wait within that certainty, a rest <br> In the swags of pine-trees bordering the lake. <br> Perhaps there are times of inherent excellence. ** VII * As a man and woman meet and love forthwith. <br> Perhaps there are moments of awakening, <br> Extreme, fortuitous, personal, in which{{pb}}We more than awaken, sit on the edge of sleep, <br> As on an elevation, and behold <br> The academies like structures in a mist. ** VII * The first idea is an imagined thing. ** VIII * Logos and logic, crystal hypothesis, <br> Incipit and a form to speak the word <br> And every latent double in the word, {{pb}} Beau linguist. ** VIII * He might take habit, whether from wave or phrase,{{pb}}Or power of the wave, or deepened speech, <br> Or a leaner being, moving in on him, <br> Of greater aptitude and apprehension,{{pb}}As if the waves at last were never broken, <br> As if the language suddenly, with ease, <br> Said things it had laboriously spoken. ** VIII * The romantic intoning, the declaimed clairvoyance <br> Are parts of apotheosis, appropriate <br> And of its nature, the idiom thereof. ** IX * Apotheosis is not <br> The origin of the major man. He comes,{{pb}}Compact in invincible foils, from reason, <br> Lighted at midnight by the studious eye, <br> Swaddled in revery, the object of{{pb}}The hum of thoughts evaded in the mind. ** IX * My dame, sing for this person accurate songs. ** IX * He is and may be but oh! He is, he is, <br> This foundling of the infected past, so bright, <br> So moving in the manner of his hand.{{pb}}Yet look not at his colored eyes. Give him <br> No names. Dismiss him from your images. <br> The hot of him is purest in the heart. ** IX * The major abstraction is the idea of man <br> And major man is its exponent, abler <br> In the abstract than in his singular,{{pb}}More fecund as principle than particle. ** X * In being more than an exception, part,{{pb}}Though an heroic part, of the commonal. <br> The major abstraction is the commonal, <br> The inanimate, difficult visage. ** X * What chieftain, walking by himself, crying <br> Most miserable, most victorious, {{pb}} Does not see these separate figures one by one, <br> And yet see only one, in his old coat, <br> His slouching pantaloons, beyond the town,{{pb}}Looking for what was, where it used to be? ** X * It is of him, ephebe, to make, to confect <br> The final elegance, not to console <br> Nor sanctify, but plainly to propound. ** X ==== It Must Change ==== [[File:Серафим.jpg|thumb|The seraph <br> Is satyr in Saturn, according to his thoughts.]] * The old seraph, parcel-gilded, among violets <br> Inhaled the appointed odor, while the doves <br> Rose up like phantoms from chronologies. ** I * The bees came booming as if they had never gone, <br> As if hyacinths had never gone. We say <br> This changes and that changes. Thus the constant{{pb}} Violets, doves, girls, bees and hyacinths <br> Are inconstant objects of inconstant cause <br> In a universe of inconstancy. This means{{pb}}Night-blue is an inconstant thing. The seraph <br> Is satyr in Saturn, according to his thoughts. ** I * The President ordains the bee to be <br> Immortal. ** II * The President has apples on the table <br> And barefoot servants round him, who adjust <br> The curtains to a metaphysical "t". ** II * Should there be a question of returning or <br> Of death in memory’s dream? Is spring a sleep?{{pb}}This warmth is for lovers at last accomplishing <br> Their love, this beginning, not resuming, this <br> '''Booming and booming of the new-come bee.''' ** II * The right, uplifted foreleg of the horse <br> Suggested that, at the final funeral, <br> The music halted and the horse stood still. ** III * Nothing had happened because nothing had changed. <br> Yet the General was rubbish in the end. ** III * Two things of opposite natures seem to depend <br> On one another, as a man depends <br> On a woman, day on night, the imagined{{pb}}On the real. This is the origin of change. <br> Winter and spring, cold copulars, embrace <br> And forth the particulars of rapture come. ** IV * Music falls on the silence like a sense, <br> A passion that we feel, not understand. ** IV * In solitude the trumpets of solitude <br> Are not of another solitude resounding; <br> A little string speaks for a crowd of voices. ** IV * The partaker partakes of that which changes him. <br> The child that touches takes character from the thing, <br> The body, it touches. The captain and his men{{pb}}Are one and the sailor and the sea are one. ** IV * On a blue island in a sky-wide water <br> The wild orange trees continued to bloom and to bear, <br> Long after the planter’s death. ** V * An unaffected man in a negative light <br> Could not have borne his labor nor have died <br> Sighing that he should leave the banjo’s twang. ** V [[File:Rain (3735431928).jpg|thumb|There was such idiot minstrelsy in rain, <br> So many clappers going without bells.]] * Bethou me, said sparrow, to the crackled blade, <br> And you, and you, bethou me as you blow, <br> When in my coppice you behold me be. ** VI * There was such idiot minstrelsy in rain, <br> So many clappers going without bells, <br> That these bethous compose a heavenly gong. {{pb}} One voice repeating, one tireless chorister, <br> The phrases of a single phrase, ke-ke, <br> A single text, granite monotony ** VI * Eye without lid, mind without any dream —{{pb}}These are of minstrels lacking minstrelsy, <br> Of an earth in which the first leaf is the tale <br> Of leaves, in which the sparrow is a bird{{pb}}Of stone, that never changes. Bethou him, you <br> And you, bethou him and bethou. It is <br> A sound like any other. It will end. ** VI * Tonight the lilacs magnify <br> The easy passion, the ever-ready love <br> Of the lover that lies within us and we breathe{{pb}}An odor evoking nothing, absolute.''' <br> We encounter in the dead middle of the night <br> The purple odor, the abundant bloom. ** VII * The fluctuations of certainty, the change <br> Of degrees of perception in the scholar’s dark. ** VII * I am the spouse. She took her necklace off <br> And laid it in the sand. As I am, I am <br> The spouse. She opened her stone-studded belt. {{pb}} I am the spouse, divested of bright gold, <br> The spouse beyond emerald or amethyst, <br> Beyond the burning body that I bear. {{pb}} I am the woman stripped more nakedly <br> Than nakedness, standing before an inflexible <br> Order, saying I am the contemplated spouse. ** VIII * Clothe me entire in the final filament, <br> So that I tremble with such love so known <br> And myself am precious for your perfecting. ** VIII * A fictive covering <br> Weaves always glistening from the heart and mind. ** VIII * The poem goes form the poet’s gibberish to <br> The gibberish of the vulgate and back again. ** IX * Is there a poem that never reaches words {{pb}} And one that chaffers the time away? <br> Is the poem both peculiar and general? <br> There’s a meditation there, in which there seems{{pb}}To be an evasion, a thing not apprehended or <br> Not apprehended well. Does the poet <br> Evade us, as in a senseless element? ** IX * He tries by a peculiar speech to speak {{pb}} The peculiar potency of the general. ** IX * Like a page of music, like an upper air, <br> Like a momentary color, in which swans <br> Were seraphs, were saints, were changing essences. {{pb}} The west wind was the music, the motion, the force <br> To which the swans curveted, a will to change, <br> A will to make iris frettings on the blank. ** IX * The casual is not Enough. The freshness of transformation is{{pb}}The freshness of a world.''' It is our own, <br> It is ourselves, the freshness of ourselves, <br> And that necessity and that presentation{{pb}}Are rubbings of a glass in which we peer. * Of these beginnings, gay and green, propose <br> The suitable amours. Time will write them down. ==== It Must Give Pleasure ==== [[File:CandleWPC.jpg|thumb|Fat girl, terrestrial, my summer, my night, <br> How is it I find you in difference, see you there <br> In a moving contour, a change not quite completed?{{pb}}You are familiar yet an aberration.]] <!--[[File:GustaveMoreau04.jpg|thumb|There is a month, a year, there is a time <br> In which majesty is a mirror of the self.]]--> * To speak of joy and to sing of it, borne on <br> The shoulders of joyous men, to feel the heart <br> That is the common, the bravest fundament, {{pb}} This is a facile exercise. ** I * The difficultest rigor is forthwith, <br> On the image of what we see, to catch from that <br> Irrational moment its unreasoning, <br> As when the sun comes rising, when the sea <br> Clears deeply, when the moon hangs on the wall{{pb}} Of heaven-haven. These are not things transformed. <br> Yet we are shaken by them as if they were. <br> We reason about them with a later reason. ** I * The blue woman, linked and lacquered, at her window <br> Did not desire that feathery argentines <br> Should be cold silver, neither that frothy clouds{{pb}} Should foam, be foamy waves, should move like them ** II * It was enough for her that she remembered. ** II * Red-in-red repetitions never going <br> Away,a little rusty, a little rouged, <br> A little roughened and ruder, a crown{{pb}}The eye could not escape, a red renown <br> Blowing itself upon the tedious ear. ** III * A dead shepherd brought tremendous chords from hell{{pb}}And bad the sheep carouse. Or so they said. <br> Children in love with them brought early flowers <br> And scattered them about, no two alike. ** III * We reason of these things with later reason <br> And we make of what we see, what we see clearly <br> And have seen, a place dependent on ourselves. ** IV * This was their ceremonial hymn: Anon <br> We loved but would no marriage make. Anon <br> The one refused the other one to take,{{pb}}Foreswore the sipping of the marriage wine. ** IV * Each must the other take as sign, short sign <br> To stop the whirlwind, balk the elements. ** IV * They married well because the marriage-place <br> Was what they loved. It was neither heaven nor hell. <br> They were love’s characters come face to face. ** IV * The words they spoke were voices that she heard. <br> She looked at them and saw them as they were <br> And what she felt fought off the barest phrase. ** V * The nothingness was a nakedness, a point,{{pb}}Beyond which fact could not progress as fact. <br> Thereon the learning of the man conceived <br> Once more night’s pale illuminations, gold{{pb}}Beneath, far underneath, the surface of <br> His eye and audible in the mountain of <br> His ear, the very material of his mind. ** VI * Straight to the utmost crown of night he flew. <br> The nothingness was a nakedness, a point{{pb}}Beyond which thought could not progress as thought. <br> He had to choose. But it was not a choice <br> Between excluding things. It was not a choice{{pb}}Between, but of. '''He chose to include the things <br> That in each other are included, the whole, <br> The complicate, the amassing harmony.''' ** VI * He imposes orders as he thinks of them, <br> As the fox and snake do. It is a brave affair. ** VII * But to impose is not <br> To discover. To discover an order as of <br> A season, to discover summer and know it,{{pb}}To discover winter and know it well, to find <br> Not to impose, not to have reasoned at all, <br> Out of nothing to have come on major weather,{{pb}}It is possible, possible, possible. It must <br> Be possible. It must be that in time <br> The real will from its crude compoundings come,{{pb}}Seeming at first, a beast disgorged, unlike, <br> Warmed by a desperate milk. To find the real, <br> To be stripped of every fiction except one,{{pb}}The fiction of an absolute — Angel, <br> Be silent in your luminous cloud and hear <br> The luminous melody of proper sound. ** VII * What am I to believe? If the angel in his cloud, <br> Serenely gazing at the violent abyss, <br> Plucks on his strings to pluck abysmal glory, {{pb}} Leaps downward through evening’s revelations, and <br> On his spredden wings, needs nothing but deep space, <br> Forgets the gold centre, the golden destiny,{{pb}} Grows warm in the motionless motion of his flight, <br> '''Am I that imagine this angel less-satisfied? <br> Are the wings his, the lapis-haunted air?''' ** VIII * Is it he or is it I that experience this? ** VIII * There is a month, a year, there is a time <br> In which majesty is a mirror of the self: <br> I have not but I am and as I am, I am. ** VIII * These external regions, what do we fill them with <br> Except reflections, the escapades of death,<br>Cinderella fulfilling herself beneath the roof. ** VIII * '''I can <br> Do all that angels can.''' I enjoy like them, <br> Like men besides, like men in light secluded, {{pb}} Enjoying angels. ** IX * A thing final in itself and, therefore, good: <br> One of the vast repetitions final in <br> Themselves and, therefore, good, the going round {{pb}} And round and round, the merely going round, <br> Until merely going round is a final good, <br> The way wine comes at a table in a wood. ** IX * &nbsp;&nbsp; Perhaps, <br> The man-hero is not the exceptional monster, <br> But he that of repetition is most master. ** IX * Fat girl, terrestrial, my summer, my night, <br> How is it I find you in difference, see you there <br> In a moving contour, a change not quite completed?{{pb}}You are familiar yet an aberration. ** X * You remain the more than natural figure. You <br> Become the soft-footed phantom, the irrational{{pb}}Distortion, however fragrant, however dear. <br> That’s it: the more than rational distortion, <br> The fiction that results from feeling. Yes, that. ** X * '''They will get it straight one day at the Sorbonne.''' <br> We shall return at twilight from the lecture <br> Pleased that the irrational is rational,{{pb}}Until flicked by feeling, in a gildered street, <br> I call you by name, my green, my fluent mundo. ** X ;Unsorted * Soldier, there is a war between the mind <br> And sky, between thought and day and night. It is <br> For that the poet is always in the sun, {{pb}} Patches the moon together in his room <br> To his Virgilian cadences, up down, <br> Up down. It is a war that never ends. * Yet it depends on yours. The two are one. <br> They are a plural, a right and left, a pair, <br> Two parallels that meet if only in * The meeting of their shadows or that meet <br> In a book in a barrack, a letter from Malay. <br> But your war ends. And after it you return * With six meats and twelve wines or else without <br> To walk another room...Monsieur and comrade, <br> The soldier is poor without the poet’s lines. * His petty syllabi, the sounds that stick, <br> Inevitably modulating, in the blood. <br> And war for war, each has its gallant kind. {{pb}} How simply the fictive hero becomes the real; <br> How gladly with proper words the solider dies, <br> If he must, or lives on the bread of faithful speech. === ''Parts of a World'' (1942) === :<small>'''New York: Alfred A. Knopf'''</small> * Home from Guatemala, back at the Waldorf. <br> This arrival in the wild country of the soul, <br> All approaches gone, being completely there, <br> Where the wild poem is a substitute <br> For the woman one loves or ought to love, <br> One wild rhapsody a fake for another.{{pb}}You touch the hotel the way you touch moonlight <br> Or sunlight and you hum and the orchestra <br> Hums and you say "The world in a verse,{{pb}}A generation sealed, men remoter than mountains, <br> Women invisible in music and motion and color," <br> After that alien, point-blank, green and actual Guatemala. ** "Arrival at the Waldorf" * The prologues are over. It is a question, now,<br>Of final belief. So, say that final belief<br>Must be in a fiction. It is time to choose. ** "Asides on the Oboe", st. 1 * A. A violent order is disorder; and <br> B. A great disorder is an order. These <br> Two things are one. ** "Connoisseur of Chaos", st. 1 * And, capable, created in his mind,<br>Eventual victor, out of the martyrs’ bones<br>The ultimate elegance: the imagined land. ** "Mrs. Alfred Uruguay", st. 4 * That's what misery is, <br> Nothing to have at heart. <br> It is to have or nothing.{{pb}}It is a thing to have, <br> A lion, an ox in his breast, <br> To feel it breathing there.{{pb}}Corazon, stout dog, <br> Young ox, bow-legged bear, <br> He tastes its blood, not spit.{{pb}}He is like a man <br> In the body of a violent beast. <br> Its muscles are his own...{{pb}}The lion sleeps in the sun. <br> Its nose is on its paws. <br> It can kill a man. ** "Poetry is a Destructive Force" * &nbsp;&nbsp; Light<br>Is the lion that comes down to drink. ** "The Glass of Water", st. 2 * One’s grand flights, one’s Sunday baths,<br>One’s tootings at the weddings of the soul<br>Occur as they occur. ** "The Sense of the Sleight-of-Hand Man", st. 1 * After the final no there comes a yes <br> And on that yes the future world depends. <br> No was the night. Yes is this present sun. ** "The Well Dressed Man with a Beard" * One thing remaining, infallible, would be <br> Enough. ** "The Well Dressed Man with a Beard" * Out of a thing believed, a thing affirmed: <br> The form on the pillow humming while one sleeps, <br> The aureole above the humming house... <br> '''It can never be satisfied, the mind, never. ** "The Well Dressed Man with a Beard" === ''The Language of Poetry'' (1942) === :<small>'''Princeton, NJ: Princeton UP'''</small> * The subject-matter of poetry is not that "collection of solid, static objects extended in space" but the life that is lived in the scene that it composes; and so reality is not that external scene but the life that is lived in it. Reality is things as they are. ** "The Noble Rider and the Sound of Words", IV * What makes the poet the potent figure that he is, or was, or ought to be, is that he creates the world to which we turn incessantly and without knowing it and that he gives to life the supreme fictions without which we are unable to conceive of it. ** "The Noble Rider and the Sound of Words", V <!-- p. 121 --> * His function is to make his imagination theirs and that he fulfils himself only as he sees his imagination become the light in the minds of others. His role, in short, is to help people to live their lives. ** "The Noble Rider and the Sound of Words", V === ''Transport to Summer'' (1947) === :<small>'''New York: Alfred A. Knopf'''</small> [[File:Wallace Stevens House - Hartford, CT.jpg|thumb|So many selves, so many sensuous worlds, <br> As if the air, the mid-day air, was swarming <br> With the metaphysical changes that occur, <br> Merely in living as and where we live.]] * Thus the theory of description matters most.<br>It is the theory of the word for those{{pb}}For whom the word is the making of the world,<br>The buzzing world and lisping firmament.{{pb}}It is a world of words to the end of it,<br>In which nothing solid is its solid self. ** "Description Without Place", VII * It was the last nostalgia: that he<br>Should understand. ** "Esthétique du Mal", X * The greatest poverty is not to live<br>In a physical world, to feel that one’s desire<br>Is too difficult to tell from despair. ** "Esthétique du Mal", XV * One might have thought of sight, but who could think <br> Of what it sees, for all the ill it sees? <br> Speech found the ear, for all the evil sound, <br> But the dark italics it could not propound. <br> And out of what sees and hears and out <br> Of what one feels, who could have thought to make <br> So many selves, so many sensuous worlds, <br> As if the air, the mid-day air, was swarming <br> With the metaphysical changes that occur, <br> Merely in living as and where we live. ** "Esthétique du Mal", XV * Life consists <br> Of propositions about life. The human <br> Revery is a solitude in which <br> We compose these propositions, torn by dreams, {{pb}} By the terrible incantations of defeats <br> And by the fear that the defeats and the dreams are one. {{pb}} '''The whole race is a poet that writes down <br> The eccentric propositions of its fate.''' ** "Men Made Out of Words" * If there must be a god in the house, must be, <br> Saying things in the room and on the stair,{{pb}}Let him move as the sunlight moves on the floor, <br> Or moonlight, '''silently, as Plato's ghost{{pb}}Or Aristotle's skeleton.''' Let him hang out <br> His stars on the wall. He must dwell quietly.{{pb}}He must be incapable of speaking, closed, <br> As those are: as light, for all its motion, is;{{pb}}As color, even the closest to us, is; <br> As shapes, though they portend us, are.{{pb}}It is the human that is the alien, <br> The human that has no cousin in the moon.{{pb}}It is the human that demands his speech <br> From beasts or from the incommunicable mass.{{pb}}If there must be a god in the house, let him be one <br> That will not hear us when we speak: a coolness{{pb}}A vermillioned nothingness, any stick of the mass <br> Of which we are too distantly a part. ** "Less and Less Human, O Savage Spirit" * &nbsp;&nbsp; To get at the thing<br>Without gestures is to get at it as<br>Idea. ** "So-and-So Reclining on Her Couch", st. 6 * The house was quiet and the world was calm. <br> The reader became the book; and summer night <br> Was like the conscious being of the book. <br> The house was quiet and the world was calm. <br> The words were spoken as if there was no book, <br> Except that the reader leaned above the page, <br> Wanted to lean, wanted much most to be <br> The scholar to whom the book is true, to whom <br> The summer night is like a perfection of thought. <br> The house was quiet because it had to be. <br> The quiet was part of the meaning, part of the mind: <br> The access of perfection to the page. <br> And the world was calm. The truth in a calm world, <br> In which there is no other meaning, itself <br> Is calm, itself is summer and night, itself <br> Is the reader leaning late and reading there. ** "The House Was Quiet and the World Was Calm" === ''The Auroras of Autumn'' (1950) === :<small>'''New York: Alfred A. Knopf'''</small> * I am the angel of reality, <br> Seen for a moment standing in the door. ** "Angel Surrounded by Paysans" (1949) * I am one of you and being one of you <br> Is being and knowing what I am and know. <br> Yet I am the necessary angel of earth, <br> Since, in my sight, you see the earth again, <br> Cleared of its stiff and stubborn, man-locked set <br> And, in my hearing, you hear its tragic drone <br> Rise liquidly in liquid lingerings, <br> Like watery words awash; like meanings said <br> By repetitions of half-meanings. Am I not, <br> Myself, only half a figure of a sort, <br> A figure half seen, or seen for a moment, a man <br> Of the mind, an apparition appareled in <br> Apparels of such lightest look that a turn <br> Of my shoulders and quickly, too quickly, I am gone? ** "Angel Surrounded by Paysans" * We keep coming back and coming back<br>To the real: to the hotel instead of the hymns<br>That fall upon it out of the wind. ** "An Ordinary Evening in New Haven", IX * &nbsp;&nbsp; A more severe,<br>More harassing master would extemporize<br>Subtler, more urgent proof that the theory<br>Of poetry is the theory of life,<br>As it is, in the intricate evasions of as,<br>In things seen and unseen, created from nothingness,<br>The heavens, the hells, the worlds, the longed-for lands. ** "An Ordinary Evening in New Haven", XXVIII * It is not in the premise that reality <br> Is a solid. It may be a shade that traverses <br> A dust, a force that traverses a shade. ** "An Ordinary Evening in New Haven" * Reality is the [[beginning]] not the end, <br> Naked Alpha, not the hierophant Omega, <br> Of dense investiture, with luminous vassals. ** "An Ordinary Evening in New Haven" * And one trembles to be so understood and, at last,<br>To understand, as if to know became<br>The fatality of seeing things too well. ** "The Novel", st. 16 === ''The Necessary Angel'' (1951) === :<small>''The Necessary Angel: Essays on Reality and the Imagination'' {{ISBN|0-394-70278-6}} </small> * There is always an analogy between [[nature]] and the [[imagination]], and possibly poetry is merely the strange rhetoric of that parallel. ** "Effects of Analogy" * The [[imagination]] loses vitality as it ceases to adhere to what is real. When it adheres to the unreal and intensifies what is unreal, while its first effect may be extraordinary, that effect is the maximum effect that it will ever have. ** "Imagination as Value" * The best definition of true imagination is that it is the sum of our faculties. Poetry is the scholar's art. The acute intelligence of the imagination, the illimitable resources of its memory, its power to possess the moment it perceives — if we were speaking of light itself, and thinking of the relationship between objects and light, no further demonstration would be necessary ... What light requires a day to do, and by day I mean a kind of Biblical revolution of time, the imagination does in the twinkling of an eye. It colors, increases, brings to a beginning and end, invents languages, crushes men, and, for that matter, gods in its hands, it says to women more than it is possible to say, it rescues all of us from what we have called absolute fact. ** "Imagination as Value" * For the poet, the imagination is paramount, and ... he dwells apart in his imagination, as the philosopher dwells in his reason, and as the priest dwells in his belief … The imagination is the power of the mind over the possibilities of things." ** "Imagination as Value" * The operation of the imagination in life is more significant than its operation in or in relation to works of art... in life what is important is the truth as it is, while in arts and letters what is important is truth as we see it. ** "Imagination as Value" * What the poet has in mind ... is that poetic value is an intrinsic value. It is not the value of knowledge. It is not the value of faith. It is the value of imagination. The poet tries to exemplify it, in part as I have tried to exemplify it here, by identifying it with an imaginative activity that diffuses itself throughout our lives. ** "Imagination as Value" * The imagination is the power that enables us to perceive the normal in the abnormal, the opposite of chaos in chaos. ** "Imagination as Value" * The truth seems to be that we live in concepts of the imagination before the reason has established them. If this is true, then reason is simply the methodizer of the imagination. ** "Imagination as Value" * The world about us would be desolate except for the world within us. ** "Imagination as Value" * The paramount relation between poetry and painting today, between modern man and modern art, is simply this: that in an age in which disbelief is so profoundly prevalent or, if not disbelief, indifference to questions of belief, poetry and painting, and the arts in general, are, in their measure, a compensation for what has been lost. Men feel that the imagination is the next greatest power to faith: the reigning prince. ** "Imagination as Value" * Our own time, and by this I mean the last two or three generations, including our own, can be summed up in a way that brings into unity an immense number of details by saying of it that it is a time in which the search for the supreme truth has been a search in reality or through reality or even a search for some supremely acceptable fiction. ** "Imagination as Value" * The humble are they that move about the world with the lure of the real in their hearts. ** "About One of Marianne Moore’s Poems" * It may be dismissed, on the one hand, as a commonplace aesthetic satisfaction: and, on the other hand, if we say that the idea of God is merely a poetic idea, even if the supreme poetic idea, and that our notions of heaven and hell are merely poetry not so called, even if poetry that involves us vitally, the feeling of deliverance, of a release, of a perfection touched, of a vocation so that all men may know the truth and that the truth may set them free — if we say these things and if we are able to see the poet who achieved God and placed Him in His seat in heaven in all His glory, the poet himself, still in the ecstasy of the poem that completely accomplished its purpose, would have seemed, whether young or old, whether in rags or ceremonial robe, a man who needed what he had created, uttering the hymns of joy that followed his creation. This may be a gross exaggeration of a very simple matter. But perhaps the same is true of many of the more prodigious things of life and death. ** "The Figure of the Youth as Virile Poet" === ''Collected Poems'' (1954) === :<small>'''New York: Alfred A. Knopf'''</small> * One of the limits of reality <br> Presents itself in Oley when the hay, <br> Baked through long days, is piled in mows. It is <br> A land too ripe for enigmas, too serene. <br> * * * <br> Things stop in that direction and since they stop <br> The direction stops and we accept what is <br> As [[good]]. The utmost must be good and is. ** "Credences of Summer" * Let’s see the very thing and nothing else. <br> Let’s see it with the hottest fire of sight. <br> Burn everything not part of it to ash. <br> Trace the gold sun about the whitened sky <br> Without evasion by a single metaphor. <br> Look at it in its essential barrenness <br> And say this, this is the centre that I seek. ** "Credences of Summer" * Exile desire <br> For what is not. This is the barrenness <br> Of the fertile thing that can attain no more. ** "Credences of Summer" * Light the first light of evening, as in a room <br> In which we rest and, for small reason, think <br> The world imagined is the ultimate good. ** "Final Soliloquy of the Interior Paramour", st. 1 * '''We say God and the imagination are one... <br> How high that highest candle lights the dark.''' <br> Out of this same light, out of the central mind, <br> We make a dwelling in the evening air, <br> In which being there together is enough. ** "Final Soliloquy of the Interior Paramour", st. 5 * This is, therefore, the intensest rendezvous. <br> It is in that thought that we collect ourselves, <br> Out of all the indifferences, into one thing ** "Final Soliloquy of the Interior Paramour" * At the earliest ending of winter, <br> In March, a scrawny cry from outside <br> Seemed like a sound in his mind. <br> He knew that he heard it, <br> A bird's cry, at daylight or before, <br> In the early March wind. ** "Not Ideas About the Thing but the Thing Itself", st. 1 * '''That scrawny cry — It was <br> A chorister whose c preceded the choir. <br> It was part of the colossal sun,''' <br> Surrounded by its choral rings, <br> Still far away. It was like <br> A new knowledge of reality. ** "Not Ideas About the Thing but the Thing Itself", st. 5 * There it was, word for word,<br>The poem that took the place of a mountain. ** "The Poem That Took the Place of a Mountain", st. 1 * Total grandeur of a total edifice,<br>Chosen by an inquisitor of structures<br>For himself. He stops upon this threshold<br>As if the design of all his words takes form<br>And frame from thinking and is realized. ** "To an Old Philosopher in Rome", st. 16 === ''Opus Posthumous'' (1957) === :<small>'''New York: Alfred A. Knopf'''</small> [[File:Dr. Ambedkar with Mr. Wallace Stevens at Columbia University, New York (USA), while receiving LL.D. (Doctorate of Laws) for being the 'Chief Architect of the Constitution of India'.jpg|thumb|Let wise men piece the world together with wisdom <br> Or poets with holy magic.]] [[File:Wallace Stevens signature.svg|thumb|Style is not something applied. It is something that permeates.]] * Let wise men piece the world together with wisdom <br> Or poets with holy magic. <br> Hey-di-ho. ** "Hieroglyphica" <!-- date? 1934 --> * After one has abandoned a belief in God, poetry is that essence which takes its place as life’s redemption. ** "Proverbs", from ''Sur Plusieurs Beaux Sujects'' (1932–1937) * To see the gods dispelled in mid-air and dissolve like clouds is one of the great human experiences. It is not as if they had gone over the horizon to disappear for a time; nor as if they had been overcome by other gods of greater power and profounder knowledge. It is simply that they came to nothing. <!-- p. 260 --> ** "Two or Three Ideas" (1951) * '''Style is not something applied. It is something that permeates.''' It is of the nature of that in which it is found, whether the poem, the manner of a god, the bearing of a man. It is not a dress. ** "Two or Three Ideas" * The number of ways of passing between the traditional two fixed points of man’s life, that is to say, of passing from the self to God, is fixed only by the limitations of space, which is limitless. The eternal philosopher is the eternal pilgrim on that road. It is difficult to take him seriously when he relies on the evidence of the teeth, the throat and the bowels. Yet in the one poem that is unimpeachably divine, the poem of the ascent into heaven, it is possible to say that there can be no faults, since it is precisely the faults of life this poem enables us to leave behind. If the idea of God is the ultimate poetic idea, then the idea of the ascent into heaven is only a little below it. ** "A Collect of Philosophy" (1951) <!-- p. 369 http://books.google.com/books?id=qztUqewMpa0C&pg=PT369 --> ==== Adagia ==== * A grandiose subject is not an assurance of a grandiose effect but, most likely, of the opposite. * Sentimentality is a failure of feeling. * A poem should be a part of one's sense of life. * A poet looks at the world as a man looks at a woman. * The poet makes silk dresses out of worms. * All history is modern history. * All poetry is experimental poetry. * Poetry is a purging of the world's poverty and change and evil and death. It is a present perfecting, a satisfaction in the irremediable poverty of life. * The imagination is one of the forces of nature. * To have nothing to say and to say it in a tragic manner is not the same thing as having something to say. * Man is an eternal sophomore. * The poet is a god, or, the young poet is a god. The old poet is a tramp. * To a large extent, the problems of poets are the problems of painters, and poets must often turn to the literature of painting for a discussion of their own problems. * God is in me or else is not at all (does not exist). * The world is a force, not a presence. * Poetry is a search for the inexplicable. * A poem is a meteor. * In the world of words, the imagination is one of the forces of nature. * The poet is the priest of the invisible. == Attributed == * [[Success]] as a result of industry is a peasant ideal. ** In [[Charles Bukowski]], "Ten Jack-Offs", ''The Most Beautiful Woman in Town'' (1983) * I like my [[philosophy]] smothered in [[beauty]] and not the opposite. ** In Bart Eeckhout, ''Wallace Stevens and the Limits of Reading and Writing'' (2002), Ch. 12 "Poeticizing Epistemology", p. 268 * Poetry is an effort of a dissatisfied man to find satisfaction through words. ** In Bart Eeckhout, ''Wallace Stevens and the Limits of Reading and Writing'' (2002), Ch. 12 "Poeticizing Epistemology", p. 268 == Quotes about Stevens == [[File:Poet in the City event on Wallace Stevens.jpg|thumb|Post-religious man, as Stevens saw him, still had a deep need for the kind of exaltation of the body and spirit which goes under different names in different religions — Christians call it [[w:Divine grace|grace]]. ~ [[Justin Quinn]]]] [[File:Library Walk 22.JPG|thumb|Contrary to all appearances, to the difficulty of his verse, and to the preoccupied, distracted interpretations of contemporary critics, Wallace Stevens' poetry is a profoundly spiritual force. Anyone interested in the spiritual problems of modern humans must reckon with it. ~ [[Dana Wilde]]]] * Post-religious man, as Stevens saw him, still had a deep need for the kind of exaltation of the body and spirit which goes under different names in different religions — Christians call it [[w:Divine grace|grace]], that is, the feeling or knowledge that the [[workings]] of [[God]] are revealed to the individual, thus lifting him or her up to a state of ecstatic consciousness. ... For the romantics in general such moments of ecstasis in the midst of nature are experienced by the solitary imagination, and the bonds of society are cast away as unimportant. Stevens once said that the romantic is a falsification, and perhaps the reason for the comment was his feeling that such moments of ecstatic relation in the midst of nature had to be given a ''social'' and eventually ''political'' meaning, rather than remaining in the arena of the spirit. Stevens poetry then offers a pastoral romantic ecstasis that become the occasions for searching out the relations between the individual, his or her [[community]] and the natural world. ** [[Justin Quinn]], [http://colloquium.upol.cz/coll00/quinn.htm "Nature & Ideology in Wallace Stevens"], ''colloquium.upol.cz'' (2000) *A more attractive attitude of defense was disclosed at a café. In one corner, a man was playing a guitar, and the stranger turned to watch him. The guitar player was good; the stop and tremble of the strings touched everyone in that room. "You know," said the stranger, "I respect creative people, any kind; I never used to feel that way, but something happened-I know a man in the city I come from, a business associate (I'm a lawyer)-we've gone on fishing trips for twenty years I know him fairly well, I'd say-big man, too: six foot four, weighs two hundred and forty pounds. Twenty years, and I just found out last month that he writes poems. I asked around; he's written books of them; very good, too, they say. I'm going to get ahold of some. But I sure feel different about creative people." "What is the name of your friend?" "Wallace Stevens," said the stranger. **[[Muriel Rukeyser]] ''The Life of Poetry'' (1949) * I turn now <br> not to [[the Bible]] <br> but to Wallace Stevens. ** [[R. S. Thomas]], in "Homage to Wallace Stevens" in ''No Truce with the Furies'' (1995) * [[Blessings]], Stevens; <br> I stand with my back to grammar <br> At an altar you never aspired <br> to, celebrating the sacrament <br> of the imagination whose high-priest <br> notwithstanding you are. ** [[R. S. Thomas]], in "Homage to Wallace Stevens" in ''No Truce with the Furies'' (1995) * At the [[heart]] of many of Stevens's poems are harsh and unpalatable [[experiences]] revealed only gradually through his intense stylization. ** [[w:Helen Vendler|Helen Vendler]], in ''The Columbia History of American Poetry'' (1993) edited by Jay Parini and Brett Candlish Millier * Stevens' way of informing us comes in language and imagery so radically different from previous times that it is difficult to recognize exactly what he means. But throughout his poetry he speaks, like the [[mystics]], primarily of the nature of our relationship with the universe. He continually circles back to the idea that we actively participate in what the world looks like and what it means. Although cast in modern terms, this idea is profoundly spiritual and moral. {{pb}} Since he gives no evidence of any direct visionary experience, it's not possible to say Stevens is a "mystic" or a "contemplative" poet. But he is a major figure in modern poetry because he synthesizes the concerns of the modern world — the emphasis on the human self as maker of meaning, the emphasis on scientific rationality, the emphasis on creating new forms to replace outmoded beliefs — with the perennial concerns of the human spirit. To find meaning, or the good — or by implication, God — we need to radically adjust our conception of reality. This takes powerful acts of individual imagination, and the possibilities are immense... Contrary to all appearances, to the difficulty of his verse, and to the preoccupied, distracted interpretations of contemporary critics, Wallace Stevens' poetry is a profoundly spiritual force. Anyone interested in the spiritual problems of modern humans must reckon with it. ** Dana Wilde [http://www.antigonishreview.com/bi-109/109-wilde.html "An Introduction to Reading Wallace Stevens as a Poet of the Human Spirit" in ''The Antigonish Review'' 109 (February 1999)] * Mr. Stevens is the master of a style: that is the most remarkable thing about him. His gift for combining words is baffling and fantastic but sure: even when you do not know what he is saying, you know that he is saying it well. ** [[Edmund Wilson]], 1924 review of ''Harmonium'', in ''The Shores of Light: A Literary Chronicle of the Twenties and Thirties'' (1952), p. 49 * Stevens is a poet who argues that [[life]] is what one makes of it within the limitations of one's own [[sensibility]]. ** Samuel French Morse in introduction to ''Poems by Wallace Stevens'' (1959), p. 13. == External links == * {{wikipedia-inline}} * {{Wikisource-inline}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Stevens, Wallace}} [[Category:Poets from the United States]] [[Category:Absurdists]] [[Category:Agnostics]] [[Category:Humanists]] [[Category:Mystics]] [[Category:Businesspeople from the United States]] [[Category:Lawyers from the United States]] [[Category:1879 births]] [[Category:1955 deaths]] [[Category:People from Pennsylvania]] [[Category:Formalist poets]] h8liqx3e7t6q63aztvqipttsonx2xkl 3942098 3942061 2026-05-17T17:15:46Z Ficaia 3085955 3942098 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Wallace Stevens, 1948.jpg|thumb|I like my [[philosophy]] smothered in [[beauty]] and not the opposite.]] '''[[w:Wallace Stevens|Wallace Stevens]]''' ([[2 October]] [[1879]] – [[2 August]] [[1955]]) was an American modernist [[poet]] and [[businessman]]. == Quotes == [[File:1916-S 50C (obv).jpg|thumb|One ought not to hoard culture. It should be adapted and infused into society as a leaven.]] [[File:Mercury dime pattern.jpg|thumb|To be young is all there is in the world.]] * One ought not to hoard [[culture]]. It should be adapted and infused into society as a leaven. Liberality of culture does not mean illiberality of its benefits. ** Journal entry (June 20, 1899); in Holly Stevens, ed., ''Souvenirs and Prophecies: The Young Wallace Stevens'' (New York: Knopf, 1977), ch. 3 * A diary is more or less the work of a man of clay whose hands are clumsy and in whose eyes there is no light. ** Journal entry (July 26, 1899); in ''Souvenirs and Prophecies'', ch. 3 * Poor, dear, silly Spring, preparing her annual surprise! ** Journal entry (March 4, 1906), in ''Souvenirs and Prophecies'', ch. 8 * In European thought in general, as contrasted with American, vigor, life and originality have a kind of easy, professional utterance. American — on the other hand, is expressed in an eager amateurish way. A European gives a sense of scope, of survey, of consideration. An American is strained, sensational. One is artistic gold; the other is bullion. ** Journal entry (April 9, 1906); in Holly Stevens, ed., ''Letters of Wallace Stevens'' (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1966), no. 112 * '''To be young is all there is in the world.''' The rest is nonsense — and cant. They talk so beautifully about [[work]] and having a family and a home (and I do, too, sometimes) — but it's all worry and head-aches and respectable poverty and forced gushing. ... Telling people how nice it is, when, in reality, you would give all of your last thirty years for one of your first thirty. Old people are tremendous frauds. ** Letter to his future wife Elsie Moll Kachel (March 21, 1907); in ''Letters of Wallace Stevens'', no. 125 * How full of trifles everything is! It is only one’s [[thoughts]] that fill a room with something more than furniture. ** Letter to his future wife Elsie Moll Kachel (May 16, 1907); in ''Souvenirs and Prophecies'', ch. 9 * Unfortunately there is nothing more inane than an Easter carol. It is a religious perversion of the activity of [[Spring]] in our blood. ** Letter to his future wife, Elsie Moll Kachel (April 23, 1916); in ''Letters of Wallace Stevens'', no. 202 * The day of the [[sun]] is like the day of a king. It is a promenade in the [[morning]], a sitting on the throne at noon, a pageant in the evening. ** Journal entry (April 20, 1920); in ''Souvenirs and Prophecies'', ch. 6 [[File:Casa Marina, Key West, Florida - Wallace Stevens (cropped).jpg|thumb|Everything is [[complicated]]; if that were not so, life and poetry and everything else would be a bore.]] * '''Everything is complicated'''; if that were not so, life and poetry and everything else would be a bore. ** Letter (December 19, 1935); in ''Letters of Wallace Stevens'', no. 336 * If some really acute observer made as much of [[egotism]] as [[Sigmund Freud|Freud]] has made of [[sex]], people would forget a good deal about sex and find the explanation for everything in egotism. ** Letter (January 10, 1936); in ''Letters of Wallace Stevens'', no. 339 * The essential thing in form is to be free in whatever form is used. A free form does not assure freedom. As a form, it is just one more form. So that it comes to this, I suppose, that I believe in freedom regardless of form. ** "A Note on Poetry" (1937); in William Rose Benét and Norman Holmes Pearson, eds., ''The Oxford Anthology of American Literature'', vol. 2 (New York: Oxford UP, 1938), p. 1325 * Poetry is poetry, and one’s objective as a poet is to achieve poetry precisely as one’s objective in music is to achieve music. ** "Why He Selected 'Domination in Black'", in Whit Burnett, ed., ''This Is My Best'' (New York: The Dial Press, 1942), p. 652 * The palm at the end of the mind,<br>Beyond the last thought, rises...{{pb}}A gold-feathered bird<br>Sings in the palm. ** "Of Mere Being", sts. 1–2, in Holly Stevens, ed., ''The Palm at the End of the Mind: Selected Poems and a Play'' (New York: Vintage, 1972), p. 398 === ''Harmonium'' (1923) === [[File:In the Peristyle, by Waterhouse (WikiArt).jpg|thumb|Poetry is the supreme fiction, madame.]] <!--[[File:Boyle Abbey Nave 1997 09 17.jpg|thumb|Take the moral law and make a [[w:Nave|nave]] of it <br> And from the nave build haunted heaven.]]--> <!--[[File:Christ's triumphal entry into Jerusalem, by Félix Louis Leullier - WikiArt.png|thumb|Palm for palm, <br> Madame, we are where we began.]]--> * '''Poetry is the supreme fiction, madame.''' <br> Take the moral law and make a [[w:Nave|nave]] of it <br> And from the nave build haunted heaven. Thus, <br> The conscience is converted into palms, <br> Like windy [[w:Cittern|citherns]] hankering for hymns. ** "[[w:A High-Toned Old Christian Woman|A High-Toned Old Christian Woman]]", l. 1 ** First published in ''The Dial'', no. 73 (July 1922) * We agree in principle. That's clear. But take <br> The opposing law and make a [[w:peristyle|peristyle]], <br> And from the peristyle project a masque <br> Beyond the planets. Thus, our bawdiness, <br> Unpurged by epitaph, indulged at last, <br> Is equally converted into palms, <br> Squiggling like saxophones. And palm for palm, <br> Madame, we are where we began. ** "A High-Toned Old Christian Woman", l. 6 * This will make widows wince. But fictive things <br> Wink as they will. Wink most when widows wince. ** "A High-Toned Old Christian Woman", l. 21 * I placed a jar in Tennessee <br> And round it was, upon a hill. <br> It made the slovenly wilderness <br> Surround that hill. <br> The wilderness rose upon it, <br> And sprawled around, no longer wild. ** "[[w:Anecdote of the Jar|Anecdote of the Jar]]" * It took dominion everywhere. <br> The jar was gray and bare. <br> It did not give of bird or bush, <br> Like nothing else in Tennessee. ** "Anecdote of the Jar" * The soul, he said, is composed <br> Of the external world. ** "[[w:Anecdote of Men by the Thousand|Anecdote of Men by the Thousand]]" * '''There are men of the East, he said, <br> who are the East.''' <br> There are men of a province <br> who are that province. <br> There are men of a valley <br> who are that valley. ** "Anecdote of Men by the Thousand" [[File:An elderly Tibetan women holding a prayer wheel on Lhasa, Barkhor.jpg|thumb|The dress of a woman of Lhassa, <br> in its place <br> is an invisible element of that place <br> made visible.]] * The dress of a woman of Lhassa, <br> in its place <br> is an invisible element of that place <br> made visible. ** "Anecdote of Men by the Thousand" * Chieftain Iffucan of Azcan in caftan<br>Of tan with henna hackles, halt! ** "[[w:Bantam in Pine-Woods|Bantam in Pine-Woods]]", st. 1 * Damned universal cock, as if the sun<br>Was blackamoor to bear your blazing tail. ** "Bantam in Pine-Woods", st. 2 * The houses are haunted<br>By white night-gowns.<br>None are green,<br>Or purple with green rings,<br>Or green with yellow rings,<br>Or yellow with blue rings.<br>None of them are strange,<br>With socks of lace<br>And beaded ceintures.<br>People are not going<br>To dream of baboons and periwinkles.<br>'''Only, here and there, an old sailor,<br>Drunk and asleep in his boots,<br>Catches tigers<br>In red weather.''' ** "[[w:Disillusionment of Ten O'Clock|Disillusionment of Ten O'Clock]]" [[File:PeackockSide.jpg|thumb|right|I heard them cry — the peacocks.]] <!--[[File:PavoReal albino.jpg|thumb|I felt afraid. <br> And I remembered the cry of the peacocks.]]--> * '''I heard them cry — the peacocks.''' <br> Was it a cry against the twilight <br> Or against the leaves themselves <br> Turning in the wind, <br> Turning as the flames <br> Turned in the fire, <br> Turning as the tails of the peacocks <br> Turned in the loud fire, <br> Loud as the hemlocks <br> Full of the cry of the peacocks? <br> Or was it a cry against the hemlocks? ** "Domination of Black" * I saw how the night came, <br> Came striding like the color of the heavy hemlocks. <br> I felt afraid. <br> And I remembered the cry of the peacocks. ** "Domination of Black" * Frogs Eat Butterflies. Snakes Eat Frogs. Hogs Eat Snakes. Men Eat Hogs. ** [[w:Frogs Eat Butterflies. Snakes Eat Frogs. Hogs Eat Snakes. Men Eat Hogs|Title of poem]] * That strange flower, the [[sun]], <br> Is just what you say. <br> Have it your way.{{pb}}The world is ugly, <br> And the people are sad. ** "Gubbinal" * That tuft of jungle feathers, <br> That animal eye, <br> Is just what you say.{{pb}}That savage of fire, <br> That seed, <br> Have it your way.{{pb}}The world is ugly, <br> And the people are sad. ** "Gubbinal" * Twenty men crossing a bridge, <br> Into a village, <br> Are twenty men crossing twenty bridges, <br> Into twenty villages, <br> Or one man <br> Crossing a single bridge into a village. ** "[[w:Metaphors of a Magnifico|Metaphors of a Magnifico]]" * This is old song <br> That will not declare itself. ** "Metaphors of a Magnifico" * Twenty men crossing a bridge, <br> Into a village, <br> Are <br> Twenty men crossing a bridge <br> Into a village. ** "Metaphors of a Magnifico" * The boots of the men clump <br> On the boards of the bridge. <br> The first white wall of the village <br> Rises through fruit-trees. <br> Of what was it I was thinking? <br> So the meaning escapes. ** "Metaphors of a Magnifico" [[File:STS-95 Florida From Space.jpg|thumb|A few things for themselves, <br> [[Florida]], venereal soil, <br> Disclose to the lover.]] * A few things for themselves, <br> [[Florida]], venereal soil, <br> Disclose to the lover. ** "[[w:O Florida, Venereal Soil|O Florida, Venereal Soil]]" * Donna, donna, dark, <br> Stooping in indigo gown <br> And cloudy constellations, <br> Conceal yourself or disclose <br> Fewest things to the lover — <br> A hand that bears a thick-leaved fruit, <br> A pungent bloom against your shade. ** "O Florida, Venereal Soil" * Gloomy grammarians in golden gowns, <br> Meekly you keep the mortal rendezvous, <br> Eliciting the still sustaining pomps <br> Of speech which are like music so profound <br> They seem an exaltation without sound. ** "[[w:On the Manner of Addressing Clouds|On the Manner of Addressing Clouds]]" * These <br> Are the [[music]] of meet resignation; these <br> The responsive, still sustaining pomps for you <br> To magnify, if in that drifting waste <br> You are to be accompanied by more <br> Than mute bare splendors of the [[sun]] and [[moon]]. ** "On the Manner of Addressing Clouds" [[File:Stuck Susanna.jpg|thumb|Susanna's music touched the bawdy strings <br> Of those white elders; but, escaping, <br> Left only Death's ironic scraping.]] * Just as my fingers on these keys <br> Make music, so the self-same sounds <br> On my spirit make a music, too. <br> '''Music is feeling, then, not sound; <br> And thus it is that what I feel, <br> Here in this room, desiring you, <br> Thinking of your blue-shadowed silk, <br> Is music.''' ** "[[w:Peter Quince at the Clavier|Peter Quince at the Clavier]]", I ** First published in [[w:Others: A Magazine of the New Verse|''Others: A Magazine of the New Verse'']] (1915) * In the green water, clear and warm, <br> [[w:Susanna (Book of Daniel)|Susanna]] lay. <br> She searched <br> The touch of springs, <br> And found <br> Concealed imaginings. <br> She sighed, <br> For so much melody. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", II * Upon the bank, she stood <br> In the cool <br> Of spent emotions. <br> She felt, among the leaves, <br> The dew <br> Of old devotions. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", II * She walked upon the grass, <br> Still quavering. <br> The winds were like her maids, <br> On timid feet, <br> Fetching her woven scarves, <br> Yet wavering. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", II * A breath upon her hand <br> Muted the night. <br> She turned — <br> A cymbal crashed, <br> Amid roaring horns. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", II [[File:Elsie Stevens LCCN2014699244 (cropped).jpg|thumb|Beauty is momentary in the mind — <br> The fitful tracing of a portal; <br> But in the flesh it is immortal. {{pb}} The body dies; the body's beauty lives.]] * '''Beauty is momentary in the mind — <br> The fitful tracing of a portal; <br> But in the flesh it is immortal. {{pb}} The body dies; the body's beauty lives.''' <br> So evenings die, in their green going, <br> A wave, interminably flowing. <br> So gardens die, their meek breath scenting <br> The cowl of winter, done repenting. <br> So maidens die, to the auroral <br> Celebration of a maiden's choral. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", IV * Susanna's music touched the bawdy strings <br> Of those white elders; but, escaping, <br> Left only Death's ironic scraping. <br> Now, in its immortality, it plays <br> On the clear viol of her memory, <br> And makes a constant sacrament of praise. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", IV [[File:Picswiss NW-26-35.jpg|thumb|[[Death]] is the mother of [[Beauty]].]] * Complacencies of the peignoir, and late<br>Coffee and oranges in a sunny chair,<br>And the green freedom of a cockatoo<br>Upon a rug mingle to dissipate<br>The holy hush of ancient sacrifice. ** "[[w:Sunday Morning (poem)|Sunday Morning]]", I * What is divinity if it can come<br>Only in silent shadows and in dreams? ** "Sunday Morning", II * She says, "But in contentment I still feel<br>The need of some imperishable bliss.<br>"'''Death is the mother of Beauty'''; hence from her,<br>Alone, shall come fulfilment to our dreams<br>And our desires. ** "Sunday Morning", V * We live in an old chaos of the sun, <br> Or an old dependency of day and night, <br> Or island solitude, unsponsored, free, <br> Of that wide water, inescapable.<br> Deer walk upon our mountains, and quail <br> Whistle about us their spontaneous cries; <br> Sweet berries ripen in the wilderness; <br> And, in the isolation of the sky, <br> At evening, casual flocks of pigeons make <br> Ambiguous undulations as they sink, <br> Downward to darkness, on extended wings. ** "Sunday Morning", VIII * The book of moonlight is not written yet. ** "[[w:The Comedian as the Letter C|The Comedian as the Letter C]]", III, st. 1 * And as he came he saw that it was spring,<br>A time abhorrent to the nihilist<br>Or searcher for the fecund minimum. ** "The Comedian as the Letter C", III, st. 4 * The natives of the rain are rainy men. ** "The Comedian as the Letter C", IV, st. 1 * The plum survives its poems. ** "The Comedian as the Letter C", V, st. 1 * Green crammers of the green fruits of the world. ** "The Comedian as the Letter C", VI, st. 2 [[File:Standard guide to Cuba - a new and complete guide to the island of Cuba, with maps, illustrations, routes of travel, history, and an English-Spanish phrase book (1909) (14594902008).jpg|thumb|Let be be finale of seem. <br> The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.]] <!--[[File:Women and Child - Cienfuegos - Cuba (3794729068).jpg|thumb|]]--> * Call the roller of big cigars,<br>The muscular one, and bid him whip<br>In kitchen cups concupiscent curds.<br>Let the wenches dawdle in such dress <br> As they are used to wear, and let the boys <br> Bring flowers in last month's newspapers. <br> '''Let be be finale of seem. <br> The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.''' ** "[[w:The Emperor of Ice-Cream|The Emperor of Ice-Cream]]", st. 1 <!-- [http://www.english.uiuc.edu/maps/poets/s_z/stevens/emperor.htm Commentary on this poem] at ''Modern American Poetry'' (University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign) // Compare: ''[[Hamlet]]'', act 1, sc. 2, ll. 70-89; act 4, sc. 3, ll. 19-28 (Folger Shakespeare Online) --> * Take from the dresser of deal, <br> Lacking the three glass knobs, that sheet <br> On which she embroidered fantails once <br> And spread it so as to cover her face. <br> If her horny feet protrude, they come <br> To show how cold she is, and dumb. <br> Let the lamp affix its beam. <br> The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream. ** "The Emperor of Ice-Cream", st. 2 * The essential gaudiness of poetry. ** "The Emperor of Ice-Cream", note [[File:2026-03-01 Snow in Tsqneti Forest Park.jpg|thumb|One must have a mind of winter <br> To regard the frost and the boughs <br> Of the pine-trees crusted with snow;<br>* * *<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;and not to think <br> Of any misery in the sound of the wind.]] * One must have a mind of winter <br> To regard the frost and the boughs <br> Of the pine-trees crusted with snow;{{pb}}And have been cold a long time <br> To behold the junipers shagged with ice, <br> The spruces rough in the distant glitter{{pb}}Of the January sun; and not to think <br> Of any misery in the sound of the wind, <br> In the sound of a few leaves,{{pb}}Which is the sound of the land <br> Full of the same wind <br> That is blowing in the same bare place{{pb}}For the listener, who listens in the snow, <br> And, nothing himself, beholds <br> Nothing that is not there and the nothing that is. ** "[[w:The Snow Man|The Snow Man]]" [[File:Boat-tailed Grackle, Sea Trail golf course, North Carolina RWD.jpg|thumb|Among twenty snowy mountains, <br> The only moving thing <br> Was the eye of the [[blackbird]].]] <!--[[File:Library Walk 22.JPG|thumb|I do not know which to prefer, <br> The beauty of inflections <br> Or the beauty of innuendoes, <br> The blackbird whistling <br> Or just after.]]--> * Among twenty snowy mountains, <br> The only moving thing <br> Was the eye of the blackbird. ** "[[w:Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird|Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird]]", I <!-- [http://boppin.com/poets/stevens.htm Full text online] // Sam Swope, [http://www.samswope.org/work2.htm "The Blackbird Is Flying, The Children Must Be Writing"] (an essay on the use of this poem as a teaching tool) --> * A man and a woman <br> Are [[Unity|one]]. <br> A man and a woman and a blackbird <br> Are one. ** "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird", IV * I do not know which to prefer, <br> The beauty of inflections <br> Or the beauty of innuendoes, <br> The blackbird whistling <br> Or just after. ** "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird", V * O thin men of Haddam, <br> Why do you imagine golden birds? <br> Do you not see how the blackbird <br> Walks around the feet <br> Of the women about you? ** "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird", VII * I know noble accents <br> And lucid, inescapable rhythms; <br> But I know, too, <br> That the blackbird is involved <br> In what I know. ** "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird", VIII * It was evening all afternoon. <br> It was snowing <br> And it was going to snow. <br> The blackbird sat <br> In the cedar-limbs. ** "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird", XIII * My candle burned alone in an immense valley. <br> Beams of the huge night converged upon it, <br> Until the wind blew. <br> Then beams of the huge night <br> Converged upon its image, <br> Until the wind blew. ** "Valley Candle" === ''Ideas of Order'' (1936) === * '''She sang beyond the genius of the sea.'''<br>The water never formed to mind or voice,<br>Like a body wholly body, fluttering<br>Its empty sleeves; and yet its mimic motion<br>Made constant cry, caused constantly a cry,<br>That was not ours although we understood,<br>Inhuman, of the veritable ocean. ** "[[w:The Idea of Order at Key West|The Idea of Order at Key West]]", st. 1 * Oh! Blessed rage for order, pale Ramon,<br>The maker’s rage to order words of the sea,<br>Words of the fragrant portals, dimly-starred,<br>And of ourselves and of our origins,<br>In ghostlier demarcations, keener sounds. ** "The Idea of Order at Key West", st. 7 * The sun, that brave man, <br> Comes through boughs that lie in wait, <br> That brave man.{{pb}}Green and gloomy eyes <br> In dark forms of the grass <br> Run away.{{pb}}The good stars, <br> Pale helms and spiky spurs, <br> Run away.{{pb}}Fears of my bed, <br> Fears of life and fears of death, <br> Run away.{{pb}}That brave man comes up <br> From below and walks without meditation, <br> That brave man. ** "The Brave Man" === ''The Man With the Blue Guitar'' (1937) === [[File:Bill Lewis. Guitar, Woman, Snake.jpg|thumb|But play, you must, <br> A tune beyond us, yet ourselves, <br> A tune upon the blue guitar <br> Of things exactly as they are.]] [[File:Anatomia del corpo humano.jpg|thumb|Things as they are have been destroyed. <br> Have I? Am I a man that is dead <br> At a table on which the food is cold?]] * The man bent over his guitar, <br> A shearsman of sorts. The day was green. {{pb}} '''They said, "You have a blue guitar, <br> You do not play things as they are." {{pb}} The man replied, "Things as they are <br> Are changed upon the blue guitar."''' {{pb}} And they said then, "But play, you must, <br> A tune beyond us, yet ourselves, {{pb}} A tune upon the blue guitar <br> Of things exactly as they are." ** I * If to serenade almost to man <br> Is to miss, by that, things as they are, <br> Say that it is the serenade <br> Of a man that plays a blue guitar. ** II * So that's life, then: things are they are? <br> It picks its way on the blue guitar. <br> A million people on one string? <br> And all their manner in the thing, <br> And all their manner, right and wrong, <br> And all their manner, weak and strong? <br> '''And that's life, then: things as they are, <br> This buzzing of the blue guitar.''' ** IV * Do not speak to us of the greatness of poetry, <br> Of the torches wisping in the underground, <br> Of the structure of vaults upon a point of light. <br> There are no shadows in our sun, <br> Day is desire and night is sleep. <br> There are no shadows anywhere. <br> The earth, for us, is flat and bare. <br> There are no shadows. ** V * The thinking of [[art]] seems final when <br> The thinking of [[god]] is smoky dew. ** VI * It is the sun that shares our works. <br> The moon shares nothing. It is a sea. <br> When shall I come to say of the sun, <br> It is a sea; it shares nothing; <br> The sun no longer shares our works <br> And the [[earth]] is alive with creeping men, <br> Mechanical beetles never quite warm? <br> And shall I then stand in the sun, as now <br> I stand in the moon, and call it good, <br> The immaculate, the merciful good, <br> Detached from us, from things as they are? <br> Not to be part of the sun? To stand <br> Remote and call it merciful? <br> The strings are cold on the blue guitar. ** VII * Struggling toward impassioned choirs, <br> Crying among the [[clouds]], enraged <br> By gold antagonists in air — <br> I know my lazy, leaden twang <br> Is like the reason in a [[storm]]; <br> And yet it brings the storm to bear. <br> I twang it out and leave it there. ** VIII * And the color, the overcast blue <br> Of the air, in which the blue guitar <br> Is a form, described but difficult, <br> And I am merely a shadow hunched <br> Above the arrowy, still string, <br> The maker of a thing yet to be made; <br> The color like a thought that grows <br> Out of a mood, the tragic robe <br> Of the actor, half his gesture, half <br> His speech, the dress of his meaning, silk <br> Sodden with his melancholy words, <br> The weather of his stage, himself. ** IX * Behold <br> The approach of him whom none believes, <br> Whom all believe that all believe, <br> A pagan in a varnished car. ** X * Slowly the ivy on the stones <br> Becomes the stones. Women become <br> The cities, children become the fields <br> And men in waves become the sea. ** XI * The sea returns upon the men, <br> The fields entrap the children, brick <br> Is a weed and all the flies are caught, <br> Wingless and withered, but living alive. <br> The discord merely magnified. <br> Deeper within the belly's dark <br> Of [[time]], time grows upon the rock. ** XI * The blue guitar <br> And I are one. ** XII * I know that timid breathing. Where <br> Do I begin and end? And where, <br> As I strum the thing, do I pick up <br> That which momentously declares <br> Itself not to be I and yet <br> Must be. It could be nothing else. ** XII * Be content — <br> Expansions, diffusions — content to be <br> The unspotted imbecile revery, <br> The heraldic center of the world <br> Of blue, blue sleek with a hundred chins, <br> The amorist Adjective aflame. ** XIII * First one beam, then another, then <br> A thousand are radiant in the sky. <br> Each is both star and orb; and day <br> Is the riches of their atmosphere. ** XIV * A candle is enough to light the world. <br> It makes it clear. Even at noon <br> It glistens in essential dark. <br> At night, it lights the fruit and wine, <br> The book and bread, things as they are. ** XIV * Things as they are have been destroyed. <br> Have I? Am I a man that is dead <br> At a table on which the food is cold? <br> Is my thought a memory, not alive? <br> Is the spot on the floor, there, wine or blood <br> And whichever it may be, is it mine? ** XV * Place honey on the altars and die, <br> You lovers that are bitter at heart. ** XVI * That I may reduce the monster to <br> Myself, and then may be myself <br> In face of the monster, be more than part <br> Of it, more than the monstrous player of <br> One of its monstrous lutes, not be <br> Alone, but reduce the monster and be, <br> Two things, the two together as one, <br> And play of the monster and of myself, <br> Or better not of myself at all, <br> But of that as its intelligence, <br> Being the lion in the lute <br> Before the lion locked in stone. ** XIX * What is there in life except one's ideas. <br> Good air, good friend, what is there in life? <br> Is it ideas that I believe? ** XX * A substitute for all the gods: <br> This self, not that gold self aloft, <br> Alone, one's shadow magnified, <br> Lord of the body, looking down, <br> As now and called most high, <br> The shadow of Chocorua <br> In an immenser heaven, aloft, <br> Alone, lord of the land and lord <br> Of the men that live in the land, high lord. <br> One's self and the mountains of one's land, <br> Without shadows, without magnificence, <br> The flesh, the bone, the dirt, the stone. ** XXI * '''Poetry is the subject of the poem''', <br> From this the poem issues and <br> To this returns. Between the two, <br> Between issue and return, there is <br> An absence in reality, <br> Things as they are. Or so we say. <br> But are these separate? ** XXII * I play. But this is what I think. ** XXIV * The swarm of thoughts, the swarm of dreams <br> Of inaccessible Utopia. <br> A mountainous music always seemed <br> To be falling and to be passing away. ** XXVI * It is the sea that whitens the roof. <br> The sea drifts through the winter air. <br> It is the sea that the north wind makes. <br> The sea is in the falling snow. <br> This gloom is the darkness of the sea. ** XXVII * I am a native in this world <br> And think in it as a native thinks. ** XXVIII * The wind in which the dead leaves blow. <br> Here I inhale profounder strength <br> And as I am, I speak and move <br> And things are as I think they are <br> And say they are on the blue guitar. ** XXVIII * What is beyond the cathedral, outside, <br> Balances with nuptial song. <br> So it is to sit and to balance things <br> To and to and to the point of still, <br> To say of one mask it is like, <br> To say of another it is like, <br> To know that the balance does not quite rest, <br> That the mask is strange, however like. ** XXIX * Throw away the lights, the definitions, <br> And say of what you see in the dark <br> That it is this or that it is that, <br> But do not use the rotted names. <br> How should you walk in that space and know <br> Nothing of the madness of space, <br> Nothing of its jocular procreations? <br> Throw the lights away. Nothing must stand <br> Between you and the shapes you take <br> When the crust of shape has been destroyed. ** XXXII * Here is the bread of time to come, <br> Here is its actual stone. The bread <br> Will be our bread, the stone will be <br> Our bed and we shall sleep by night. <br> We shall forget by day, except <br> The [[moments]] when we choose to play <br> The imagined pine, the imagined jay. ** XXXIII === ''Notes Toward a Supreme Fiction'' (1942) === ==== It Must Be Abstract ==== [[File:Nieslysz SunSet.JPG|thumb|Perhaps <br> The truth depends on a walk around a lake.]] <!--[[File:Apolocitaredo8.jpg|thumb|There was a myth before the myth began, <br> Venerable and articulate and complete.]]--> <!--[[File:500px photo (110152959).jpeg|thumb|We are the mimics. Clouds are pedagogues.]]--> * Begin, ephebe, by perceiving the idea <br> Of this invention, this invented world, <br> The inconceivable idea of the sun.{{pb}}'''You must become an ignorant man again <br> And see the sun again with an ignorant eye <br> And see it clearly in the idea of it.'''{{pb}}Never suppose an inventing mind as source <br> Of this idea nor for that mind compose <br> A voluminous master folded in his fire. ** I * The death of one god is the death of all. ** I * Phoebus is dead, ephebe. But Phoebus was <br> A name for something that never could be named. <br> There was a project for the sun and is.{{pb}}There is a project for the sun. The sun <br> Must bear no name, gold flourisher, but be <br> In the difficulty of what it is to be. ** I * So poisonous{{pb}}Are the ravishments of truth, so fatal to <br> The truth itself, the first idea becomes <br> The hermit in a poet’s metaphors,{{pb}}Who comes and goes and comes and goes all day. ** II * The monastic man is an artist. The philosopher <br> Appoints man’s place in music, say, today. <br> But the priest desires. The philosopher desires.{{pb}}And not to have is the beginning of desire. <br> To have what is not is its ancient cycle. ** II * It is the celestial ennui of apartments<br>That sends us back to the first idea. ** II * The poem refreshes life so that we share, <br> For a moment, the first idea... It satisfies <br> Belief in an immaculate beginning{{pb}}And sends us, winged by an unconscious will, <br> To an immaculate end. ** III * The poem, through candor, brings back a power again <br> That gives a candid kind to everything. ** III * Life’s nonsense pierces us with strange relation. ** III * And still the grossest iridescence of ocean<br>Howls hoo and rises and howls hoo and falls. ** III * The first idea was not our own. Adam <br> In Eden was the father of Descartes <br> And eve made air the mirror of herself,{{pb}}Of her sons and of her daughters. ** IV * The clouds preceded us.{{pb}}There was a muddy centre before we breathed. <br> There was a myth before the myth began, <br> Venerable and articulate and complete.{{pb}}From this the poem springs: that we live in a place <br> That is not our own and, much more, not ourselves <br> And hard it is in spite of blazoned days. ** IV * We are the mimics. Clouds are pedagogues. ** IV * Abysmal instruments make sounds like pips <br> Of the sweeping meanings that we add to them. ** IV * Yet voluble of dumb violence. You look <br> Across the roofs as sigil and as ward <br> And in your centre mark them and are cowed. ** V * Not to be realized because not to <br> Be seen, not to be loved nor hated because <br> Not to be realized. ** VI * Without a name and nothing to be desired, <br> If only imagined but imagined well. ** VI * My house has changed a little in the sun. <br> The fragrance of the magnolias come close, <br> False flick, false form, but falseness close to kin. ** VI * It must be visible or invisible, <br> Invisible or visible or both: <br> A seeing and unseeing in the eye.{{pb}}The weather and the giant of the weather, <br> Say the weather, the mere weather, the mere air: <br> An abstraction blooded, as a man by thought. ** VI * Perhaps <br> The truth depends on a walk around a lake,{{pb}}A composing as the body tires, a stop <br> To see hepatica, a stop to watch <br> A definition growing certain and{{pb}}A wait within that certainty, a rest <br> In the swags of pine-trees bordering the lake. <br> Perhaps there are times of inherent excellence. ** VII * As a man and woman meet and love forthwith. <br> Perhaps there are moments of awakening, <br> Extreme, fortuitous, personal, in which{{pb}}We more than awaken, sit on the edge of sleep, <br> As on an elevation, and behold <br> The academies like structures in a mist. ** VII * The first idea is an imagined thing. ** VIII * Logos and logic, crystal hypothesis, <br> Incipit and a form to speak the word <br> And every latent double in the word, {{pb}} Beau linguist. ** VIII * He might take habit, whether from wave or phrase,{{pb}}Or power of the wave, or deepened speech, <br> Or a leaner being, moving in on him, <br> Of greater aptitude and apprehension,{{pb}}As if the waves at last were never broken, <br> As if the language suddenly, with ease, <br> Said things it had laboriously spoken. ** VIII * The romantic intoning, the declaimed clairvoyance <br> Are parts of apotheosis, appropriate <br> And of its nature, the idiom thereof. ** IX * Apotheosis is not <br> The origin of the major man. He comes,{{pb}}Compact in invincible foils, from reason, <br> Lighted at midnight by the studious eye, <br> Swaddled in revery, the object of{{pb}}The hum of thoughts evaded in the mind. ** IX * My dame, sing for this person accurate songs. ** IX * He is and may be but oh! He is, he is, <br> This foundling of the infected past, so bright, <br> So moving in the manner of his hand.{{pb}}Yet look not at his colored eyes. Give him <br> No names. Dismiss him from your images. <br> The hot of him is purest in the heart. ** IX * The major abstraction is the idea of man <br> And major man is its exponent, abler <br> In the abstract than in his singular,{{pb}}More fecund as principle than particle. ** X * In being more than an exception, part,{{pb}}Though an heroic part, of the commonal. <br> The major abstraction is the commonal, <br> The inanimate, difficult visage. ** X * What chieftain, walking by himself, crying <br> Most miserable, most victorious, {{pb}} Does not see these separate figures one by one, <br> And yet see only one, in his old coat, <br> His slouching pantaloons, beyond the town,{{pb}}Looking for what was, where it used to be? ** X * It is of him, ephebe, to make, to confect <br> The final elegance, not to console <br> Nor sanctify, but plainly to propound. ** X ==== It Must Change ==== [[File:Серафим.jpg|thumb|The seraph <br> Is satyr in Saturn, according to his thoughts.]] * The old seraph, parcel-gilded, among violets <br> Inhaled the appointed odor, while the doves <br> Rose up like phantoms from chronologies. ** I * The bees came booming as if they had never gone, <br> As if hyacinths had never gone. We say <br> This changes and that changes. Thus the constant{{pb}} Violets, doves, girls, bees and hyacinths <br> Are inconstant objects of inconstant cause <br> In a universe of inconstancy. This means{{pb}}Night-blue is an inconstant thing. The seraph <br> Is satyr in Saturn, according to his thoughts. ** I * The President ordains the bee to be <br> Immortal. ** II * The President has apples on the table <br> And barefoot servants round him, who adjust <br> The curtains to a metaphysical "t". ** II * Should there be a question of returning or <br> Of death in memory’s dream? Is spring a sleep?{{pb}}This warmth is for lovers at last accomplishing <br> Their love, this beginning, not resuming, this <br> '''Booming and booming of the new-come bee.''' ** II * The right, uplifted foreleg of the horse <br> Suggested that, at the final funeral, <br> The music halted and the horse stood still. ** III * Nothing had happened because nothing had changed. <br> Yet the General was rubbish in the end. ** III * Two things of opposite natures seem to depend <br> On one another, as a man depends <br> On a woman, day on night, the imagined{{pb}}On the real. This is the origin of change. <br> Winter and spring, cold copulars, embrace <br> And forth the particulars of rapture come. ** IV * Music falls on the silence like a sense, <br> A passion that we feel, not understand. ** IV * In solitude the trumpets of solitude <br> Are not of another solitude resounding; <br> A little string speaks for a crowd of voices. ** IV * The partaker partakes of that which changes him. <br> The child that touches takes character from the thing, <br> The body, it touches. The captain and his men{{pb}}Are one and the sailor and the sea are one. ** IV * On a blue island in a sky-wide water <br> The wild orange trees continued to bloom and to bear, <br> Long after the planter’s death. ** V * An unaffected man in a negative light <br> Could not have borne his labor nor have died <br> Sighing that he should leave the banjo’s twang. ** V [[File:Rain (3735431928).jpg|thumb|There was such idiot minstrelsy in rain, <br> So many clappers going without bells.]] * Bethou me, said sparrow, to the crackled blade, <br> And you, and you, bethou me as you blow, <br> When in my coppice you behold me be. ** VI * There was such idiot minstrelsy in rain, <br> So many clappers going without bells, <br> That these bethous compose a heavenly gong. {{pb}} One voice repeating, one tireless chorister, <br> The phrases of a single phrase, ke-ke, <br> A single text, granite monotony ** VI * Eye without lid, mind without any dream —{{pb}}These are of minstrels lacking minstrelsy, <br> Of an earth in which the first leaf is the tale <br> Of leaves, in which the sparrow is a bird{{pb}}Of stone, that never changes. Bethou him, you <br> And you, bethou him and bethou. It is <br> A sound like any other. It will end. ** VI * Tonight the lilacs magnify <br> The easy passion, the ever-ready love <br> Of the lover that lies within us and we breathe{{pb}}An odor evoking nothing, absolute. <br> We encounter in the dead middle of the night <br> The purple odor, the abundant bloom. ** VII * The fluctuations of certainty, the change <br> Of degrees of perception in the scholar’s dark. ** VII * I am the spouse. She took her necklace off <br> And laid it in the sand. As I am, I am <br> The spouse. She opened her stone-studded belt. {{pb}} I am the spouse, divested of bright gold, <br> The spouse beyond emerald or amethyst, <br> Beyond the burning body that I bear. {{pb}} I am the woman stripped more nakedly <br> Than nakedness, standing before an inflexible <br> Order, saying I am the contemplated spouse. ** VIII * Clothe me entire in the final filament, <br> So that I tremble with such love so known <br> And myself am precious for your perfecting. ** VIII * A fictive covering <br> Weaves always glistening from the heart and mind. ** VIII * The poem goes form the poet’s gibberish to <br> The gibberish of the vulgate and back again. ** IX * Is there a poem that never reaches words {{pb}} And one that chaffers the time away? <br> Is the poem both peculiar and general? <br> There’s a meditation there, in which there seems{{pb}}To be an evasion, a thing not apprehended or <br> Not apprehended well. Does the poet <br> Evade us, as in a senseless element? ** IX * He tries by a peculiar speech to speak {{pb}} The peculiar potency of the general. ** IX * Like a page of music, like an upper air, <br> Like a momentary color, in which swans <br> Were seraphs, were saints, were changing essences. {{pb}} The west wind was the music, the motion, the force <br> To which the swans curveted, a will to change, <br> A will to make iris frettings on the blank. ** IX * The casual is not Enough. The freshness of transformation is{{pb}}The freshness of a world.''' It is our own, <br> It is ourselves, the freshness of ourselves, <br> And that necessity and that presentation{{pb}}Are rubbings of a glass in which we peer. * Of these beginnings, gay and green, propose <br> The suitable amours. Time will write them down. ==== It Must Give Pleasure ==== [[File:CandleWPC.jpg|thumb|Fat girl, terrestrial, my summer, my night, <br> How is it I find you in difference, see you there <br> In a moving contour, a change not quite completed?{{pb}}You are familiar yet an aberration.]] <!--[[File:GustaveMoreau04.jpg|thumb|There is a month, a year, there is a time <br> In which majesty is a mirror of the self.]]--> * To speak of joy and to sing of it, borne on <br> The shoulders of joyous men, to feel the heart <br> That is the common, the bravest fundament, {{pb}} This is a facile exercise. ** I * The difficultest rigor is forthwith, <br> On the image of what we see, to catch from that <br> Irrational moment its unreasoning, <br> As when the sun comes rising, when the sea <br> Clears deeply, when the moon hangs on the wall{{pb}} Of heaven-haven. These are not things transformed. <br> Yet we are shaken by them as if they were. <br> We reason about them with a later reason. ** I * The blue woman, linked and lacquered, at her window <br> Did not desire that feathery argentines <br> Should be cold silver, neither that frothy clouds{{pb}} Should foam, be foamy waves, should move like them ** II * It was enough for her that she remembered. ** II * Red-in-red repetitions never going <br> Away, a little rusty, a little rouged, <br> A little roughened and ruder, a crown{{pb}}The eye could not escape, a red renown <br> Blowing itself upon the tedious ear. ** III * A dead shepherd brought tremendous chords from hell{{pb}}And bad the sheep carouse. Or so they said. <br> Children in love with them brought early flowers <br> And scattered them about, no two alike. ** III * We reason of these things with later reason <br> And we make of what we see, what we see clearly <br> And have seen, a place dependent on ourselves. ** IV * This was their ceremonial hymn: Anon <br> We loved but would no marriage make. Anon <br> The one refused the other one to take,{{pb}}Foreswore the sipping of the marriage wine. ** IV * Each must the other take as sign, short sign <br> To stop the whirlwind, balk the elements. ** IV * They married well because the marriage-place <br> Was what they loved. It was neither heaven nor hell. <br> They were love’s characters come face to face. ** IV * The words they spoke were voices that she heard. <br> She looked at them and saw them as they were <br> And what she felt fought off the barest phrase. ** V * The nothingness was a nakedness, a point,{{pb}}Beyond which fact could not progress as fact. <br> Thereon the learning of the man conceived <br> Once more night’s pale illuminations, gold{{pb}}Beneath, far underneath, the surface of <br> His eye and audible in the mountain of <br> His ear, the very material of his mind. ** VI * Straight to the utmost crown of night he flew. <br> The nothingness was a nakedness, a point{{pb}}Beyond which thought could not progress as thought. <br> He had to choose. But it was not a choice <br> Between excluding things. It was not a choice{{pb}}Between, but of. '''He chose to include the things <br> That in each other are included, the whole, <br> The complicate, the amassing harmony.''' ** VI * He imposes orders as he thinks of them, <br> As the fox and snake do. It is a brave affair. ** VII * But to impose is not <br> To discover. To discover an order as of <br> A season, to discover summer and know it,{{pb}}To discover winter and know it well, to find <br> Not to impose, not to have reasoned at all, <br> Out of nothing to have come on major weather,{{pb}}It is possible, possible, possible. It must <br> Be possible. It must be that in time <br> The real will from its crude compoundings come,{{pb}}Seeming at first, a beast disgorged, unlike, <br> Warmed by a desperate milk. To find the real, <br> To be stripped of every fiction except one,{{pb}}The fiction of an absolute — Angel, <br> Be silent in your luminous cloud and hear <br> The luminous melody of proper sound. ** VII * What am I to believe? If the angel in his cloud, <br> Serenely gazing at the violent abyss, <br> Plucks on his strings to pluck abysmal glory, {{pb}} Leaps downward through evening’s revelations, and <br> On his spredden wings, needs nothing but deep space, <br> Forgets the gold centre, the golden destiny,{{pb}} Grows warm in the motionless motion of his flight, <br> '''Am I that imagine this angel less-satisfied? <br> Are the wings his, the lapis-haunted air?''' ** VIII * Is it he or is it I that experience this? ** VIII * There is a month, a year, there is a time <br> In which majesty is a mirror of the self: <br> I have not but I am and as I am, I am. ** VIII * These external regions, what do we fill them with <br> Except reflections, the escapades of death,<br>Cinderella fulfilling herself beneath the roof. ** VIII * '''I can <br> Do all that angels can.''' I enjoy like them, <br> Like men besides, like men in light secluded, {{pb}} Enjoying angels. ** IX * A thing final in itself and, therefore, good: <br> One of the vast repetitions final in <br> Themselves and, therefore, good, the going round {{pb}} And round and round, the merely going round, <br> Until merely going round is a final good, <br> The way wine comes at a table in a wood. ** IX * &nbsp;&nbsp; Perhaps, <br> The man-hero is not the exceptional monster, <br> But he that of repetition is most master. ** IX * Fat girl, terrestrial, my summer, my night, <br> How is it I find you in difference, see you there <br> In a moving contour, a change not quite completed?{{pb}}You are familiar yet an aberration. ** X * You remain the more than natural figure. You <br> Become the soft-footed phantom, the irrational{{pb}}Distortion, however fragrant, however dear. <br> That’s it: the more than rational distortion, <br> The fiction that results from feeling. Yes, that. ** X * '''They will get it straight one day at the Sorbonne.''' <br> We shall return at twilight from the lecture <br> Pleased that the irrational is rational,{{pb}}Until flicked by feeling, in a gildered street, <br> I call you by name, my green, my fluent mundo. ** X ;Unsorted * Soldier, there is a war between the mind <br> And sky, between thought and day and night. It is <br> For that the poet is always in the sun, {{pb}} Patches the moon together in his room <br> To his Virgilian cadences, up down, <br> Up down. It is a war that never ends. * Yet it depends on yours. The two are one. <br> They are a plural, a right and left, a pair, <br> Two parallels that meet if only in * The meeting of their shadows or that meet <br> In a book in a barrack, a letter from Malay. <br> But your war ends. And after it you return * With six meats and twelve wines or else without <br> To walk another room...Monsieur and comrade, <br> The soldier is poor without the poet’s lines. * His petty syllabi, the sounds that stick, <br> Inevitably modulating, in the blood. <br> And war for war, each has its gallant kind. {{pb}} How simply the fictive hero becomes the real; <br> How gladly with proper words the solider dies, <br> If he must, or lives on the bread of faithful speech. === ''Parts of a World'' (1942) === :<small>'''New York: Alfred A. Knopf'''</small> * Home from Guatemala, back at the Waldorf. <br> This arrival in the wild country of the soul, <br> All approaches gone, being completely there, <br> Where the wild poem is a substitute <br> For the woman one loves or ought to love, <br> One wild rhapsody a fake for another.{{pb}}You touch the hotel the way you touch moonlight <br> Or sunlight and you hum and the orchestra <br> Hums and you say "The world in a verse,{{pb}}A generation sealed, men remoter than mountains, <br> Women invisible in music and motion and color," <br> After that alien, point-blank, green and actual Guatemala. ** "Arrival at the Waldorf" * The prologues are over. It is a question, now,<br>Of final belief. So, say that final belief<br>Must be in a fiction. It is time to choose. ** "Asides on the Oboe", st. 1 * A. A violent order is disorder; and <br> B. A great disorder is an order. These <br> Two things are one. ** "Connoisseur of Chaos", st. 1 * And, capable, created in his mind,<br>Eventual victor, out of the martyrs’ bones<br>The ultimate elegance: the imagined land. ** "Mrs. Alfred Uruguay", st. 4 * That's what misery is, <br> Nothing to have at heart. <br> It is to have or nothing.{{pb}}It is a thing to have, <br> A lion, an ox in his breast, <br> To feel it breathing there.{{pb}}Corazon, stout dog, <br> Young ox, bow-legged bear, <br> He tastes its blood, not spit.{{pb}}He is like a man <br> In the body of a violent beast. <br> Its muscles are his own...{{pb}}The lion sleeps in the sun. <br> Its nose is on its paws. <br> It can kill a man. ** "Poetry is a Destructive Force" * &nbsp;&nbsp; Light<br>Is the lion that comes down to drink. ** "The Glass of Water", st. 2 * One’s grand flights, one’s Sunday baths,<br>One’s tootings at the weddings of the soul<br>Occur as they occur. ** "The Sense of the Sleight-of-Hand Man", st. 1 * After the final no there comes a yes <br> And on that yes the future world depends. <br> No was the night. Yes is this present sun. ** "The Well Dressed Man with a Beard" * One thing remaining, infallible, would be <br> Enough. ** "The Well Dressed Man with a Beard" * Out of a thing believed, a thing affirmed: <br> The form on the pillow humming while one sleeps, <br> The aureole above the humming house... <br> '''It can never be satisfied, the mind, never. ** "The Well Dressed Man with a Beard" === ''The Language of Poetry'' (1942) === :<small>'''Princeton, NJ: Princeton UP'''</small> * The subject-matter of poetry is not that "collection of solid, static objects extended in space" but the life that is lived in the scene that it composes; and so reality is not that external scene but the life that is lived in it. Reality is things as they are. ** "The Noble Rider and the Sound of Words", IV * What makes the poet the potent figure that he is, or was, or ought to be, is that he creates the world to which we turn incessantly and without knowing it and that he gives to life the supreme fictions without which we are unable to conceive of it. ** "The Noble Rider and the Sound of Words", V <!-- p. 121 --> * His function is to make his imagination theirs and that he fulfils himself only as he sees his imagination become the light in the minds of others. His role, in short, is to help people to live their lives. ** "The Noble Rider and the Sound of Words", V === ''Transport to Summer'' (1947) === :<small>'''New York: Alfred A. Knopf'''</small> [[File:Wallace Stevens House - Hartford, CT.jpg|thumb|So many selves, so many sensuous worlds, <br> As if the air, the mid-day air, was swarming <br> With the metaphysical changes that occur, <br> Merely in living as and where we live.]] * Thus the theory of description matters most.<br>It is the theory of the word for those{{pb}}For whom the word is the making of the world,<br>The buzzing world and lisping firmament.{{pb}}It is a world of words to the end of it,<br>In which nothing solid is its solid self. ** "Description Without Place", VII * It was the last nostalgia: that he<br>Should understand. ** "Esthétique du Mal", X * The greatest poverty is not to live<br>In a physical world, to feel that one’s desire<br>Is too difficult to tell from despair. ** "Esthétique du Mal", XV * One might have thought of sight, but who could think <br> Of what it sees, for all the ill it sees? <br> Speech found the ear, for all the evil sound, <br> But the dark italics it could not propound. <br> And out of what sees and hears and out <br> Of what one feels, who could have thought to make <br> So many selves, so many sensuous worlds, <br> As if the air, the mid-day air, was swarming <br> With the metaphysical changes that occur, <br> Merely in living as and where we live. ** "Esthétique du Mal", XV * Life consists <br> Of propositions about life. The human <br> Revery is a solitude in which <br> We compose these propositions, torn by dreams, {{pb}} By the terrible incantations of defeats <br> And by the fear that the defeats and the dreams are one. {{pb}} '''The whole race is a poet that writes down <br> The eccentric propositions of its fate.''' ** "Men Made Out of Words" * If there must be a god in the house, must be, <br> Saying things in the room and on the stair,{{pb}}Let him move as the sunlight moves on the floor, <br> Or moonlight, '''silently, as Plato's ghost{{pb}}Or Aristotle's skeleton.''' Let him hang out <br> His stars on the wall. He must dwell quietly.{{pb}}He must be incapable of speaking, closed, <br> As those are: as light, for all its motion, is;{{pb}}As color, even the closest to us, is; <br> As shapes, though they portend us, are.{{pb}}It is the human that is the alien, <br> The human that has no cousin in the moon.{{pb}}It is the human that demands his speech <br> From beasts or from the incommunicable mass.{{pb}}If there must be a god in the house, let him be one <br> That will not hear us when we speak: a coolness{{pb}}A vermillioned nothingness, any stick of the mass <br> Of which we are too distantly a part. ** "Less and Less Human, O Savage Spirit" * &nbsp;&nbsp; To get at the thing<br>Without gestures is to get at it as<br>Idea. ** "So-and-So Reclining on Her Couch", st. 6 * The house was quiet and the world was calm. <br> The reader became the book; and summer night <br> Was like the conscious being of the book. <br> The house was quiet and the world was calm. <br> The words were spoken as if there was no book, <br> Except that the reader leaned above the page, <br> Wanted to lean, wanted much most to be <br> The scholar to whom the book is true, to whom <br> The summer night is like a perfection of thought. <br> The house was quiet because it had to be. <br> The quiet was part of the meaning, part of the mind: <br> The access of perfection to the page. <br> And the world was calm. The truth in a calm world, <br> In which there is no other meaning, itself <br> Is calm, itself is summer and night, itself <br> Is the reader leaning late and reading there. ** "The House Was Quiet and the World Was Calm" === ''The Auroras of Autumn'' (1950) === :<small>'''New York: Alfred A. Knopf'''</small> * I am the angel of reality, <br> Seen for a moment standing in the door. ** "Angel Surrounded by Paysans" (1949) * I am one of you and being one of you <br> Is being and knowing what I am and know. <br> Yet I am the necessary angel of earth, <br> Since, in my sight, you see the earth again, <br> Cleared of its stiff and stubborn, man-locked set <br> And, in my hearing, you hear its tragic drone <br> Rise liquidly in liquid lingerings, <br> Like watery words awash; like meanings said <br> By repetitions of half-meanings. Am I not, <br> Myself, only half a figure of a sort, <br> A figure half seen, or seen for a moment, a man <br> Of the mind, an apparition appareled in <br> Apparels of such lightest look that a turn <br> Of my shoulders and quickly, too quickly, I am gone? ** "Angel Surrounded by Paysans" * We keep coming back and coming back<br>To the real: to the hotel instead of the hymns<br>That fall upon it out of the wind. ** "An Ordinary Evening in New Haven", IX * &nbsp;&nbsp; A more severe,<br>More harassing master would extemporize<br>Subtler, more urgent proof that the theory<br>Of poetry is the theory of life,<br>As it is, in the intricate evasions of as,<br>In things seen and unseen, created from nothingness,<br>The heavens, the hells, the worlds, the longed-for lands. ** "An Ordinary Evening in New Haven", XXVIII * It is not in the premise that reality <br> Is a solid. It may be a shade that traverses <br> A dust, a force that traverses a shade. ** "An Ordinary Evening in New Haven" * Reality is the [[beginning]] not the end, <br> Naked Alpha, not the hierophant Omega, <br> Of dense investiture, with luminous vassals. ** "An Ordinary Evening in New Haven" * And one trembles to be so understood and, at last,<br>To understand, as if to know became<br>The fatality of seeing things too well. ** "The Novel", st. 16 === ''The Necessary Angel'' (1951) === :<small>''The Necessary Angel: Essays on Reality and the Imagination'' {{ISBN|0-394-70278-6}} </small> * There is always an analogy between [[nature]] and the [[imagination]], and possibly poetry is merely the strange rhetoric of that parallel. ** "Effects of Analogy" * The [[imagination]] loses vitality as it ceases to adhere to what is real. When it adheres to the unreal and intensifies what is unreal, while its first effect may be extraordinary, that effect is the maximum effect that it will ever have. ** "Imagination as Value" * The best definition of true imagination is that it is the sum of our faculties. Poetry is the scholar's art. The acute intelligence of the imagination, the illimitable resources of its memory, its power to possess the moment it perceives — if we were speaking of light itself, and thinking of the relationship between objects and light, no further demonstration would be necessary ... What light requires a day to do, and by day I mean a kind of Biblical revolution of time, the imagination does in the twinkling of an eye. It colors, increases, brings to a beginning and end, invents languages, crushes men, and, for that matter, gods in its hands, it says to women more than it is possible to say, it rescues all of us from what we have called absolute fact. ** "Imagination as Value" * For the poet, the imagination is paramount, and ... he dwells apart in his imagination, as the philosopher dwells in his reason, and as the priest dwells in his belief … The imagination is the power of the mind over the possibilities of things." ** "Imagination as Value" * The operation of the imagination in life is more significant than its operation in or in relation to works of art... in life what is important is the truth as it is, while in arts and letters what is important is truth as we see it. ** "Imagination as Value" * What the poet has in mind ... is that poetic value is an intrinsic value. It is not the value of knowledge. It is not the value of faith. It is the value of imagination. The poet tries to exemplify it, in part as I have tried to exemplify it here, by identifying it with an imaginative activity that diffuses itself throughout our lives. ** "Imagination as Value" * The imagination is the power that enables us to perceive the normal in the abnormal, the opposite of chaos in chaos. ** "Imagination as Value" * The truth seems to be that we live in concepts of the imagination before the reason has established them. If this is true, then reason is simply the methodizer of the imagination. ** "Imagination as Value" * The world about us would be desolate except for the world within us. ** "Imagination as Value" * The paramount relation between poetry and painting today, between modern man and modern art, is simply this: that in an age in which disbelief is so profoundly prevalent or, if not disbelief, indifference to questions of belief, poetry and painting, and the arts in general, are, in their measure, a compensation for what has been lost. Men feel that the imagination is the next greatest power to faith: the reigning prince. ** "Imagination as Value" * Our own time, and by this I mean the last two or three generations, including our own, can be summed up in a way that brings into unity an immense number of details by saying of it that it is a time in which the search for the supreme truth has been a search in reality or through reality or even a search for some supremely acceptable fiction. ** "Imagination as Value" * The humble are they that move about the world with the lure of the real in their hearts. ** "About One of Marianne Moore’s Poems" * It may be dismissed, on the one hand, as a commonplace aesthetic satisfaction: and, on the other hand, if we say that the idea of God is merely a poetic idea, even if the supreme poetic idea, and that our notions of heaven and hell are merely poetry not so called, even if poetry that involves us vitally, the feeling of deliverance, of a release, of a perfection touched, of a vocation so that all men may know the truth and that the truth may set them free — if we say these things and if we are able to see the poet who achieved God and placed Him in His seat in heaven in all His glory, the poet himself, still in the ecstasy of the poem that completely accomplished its purpose, would have seemed, whether young or old, whether in rags or ceremonial robe, a man who needed what he had created, uttering the hymns of joy that followed his creation. This may be a gross exaggeration of a very simple matter. But perhaps the same is true of many of the more prodigious things of life and death. ** "The Figure of the Youth as Virile Poet" === ''Collected Poems'' (1954) === :<small>'''New York: Alfred A. Knopf'''</small> * One of the limits of reality <br> Presents itself in Oley when the hay, <br> Baked through long days, is piled in mows. It is <br> A land too ripe for enigmas, too serene. <br> * * * <br> Things stop in that direction and since they stop <br> The direction stops and we accept what is <br> As [[good]]. The utmost must be good and is. ** "Credences of Summer" * Let’s see the very thing and nothing else. <br> Let’s see it with the hottest fire of sight. <br> Burn everything not part of it to ash. <br> Trace the gold sun about the whitened sky <br> Without evasion by a single metaphor. <br> Look at it in its essential barrenness <br> And say this, this is the centre that I seek. ** "Credences of Summer" * Exile desire <br> For what is not. This is the barrenness <br> Of the fertile thing that can attain no more. ** "Credences of Summer" * Light the first light of evening, as in a room <br> In which we rest and, for small reason, think <br> The world imagined is the ultimate good. ** "Final Soliloquy of the Interior Paramour", st. 1 * '''We say God and the imagination are one... <br> How high that highest candle lights the dark.''' <br> Out of this same light, out of the central mind, <br> We make a dwelling in the evening air, <br> In which being there together is enough. ** "Final Soliloquy of the Interior Paramour", st. 5 * This is, therefore, the intensest rendezvous. <br> It is in that thought that we collect ourselves, <br> Out of all the indifferences, into one thing ** "Final Soliloquy of the Interior Paramour" * At the earliest ending of winter, <br> In March, a scrawny cry from outside <br> Seemed like a sound in his mind. <br> He knew that he heard it, <br> A bird's cry, at daylight or before, <br> In the early March wind. ** "Not Ideas About the Thing but the Thing Itself", st. 1 * '''That scrawny cry — It was <br> A chorister whose c preceded the choir. <br> It was part of the colossal sun,''' <br> Surrounded by its choral rings, <br> Still far away. It was like <br> A new knowledge of reality. ** "Not Ideas About the Thing but the Thing Itself", st. 5 * There it was, word for word,<br>The poem that took the place of a mountain. ** "The Poem That Took the Place of a Mountain", st. 1 * Total grandeur of a total edifice,<br>Chosen by an inquisitor of structures<br>For himself. He stops upon this threshold<br>As if the design of all his words takes form<br>And frame from thinking and is realized. ** "To an Old Philosopher in Rome", st. 16 === ''Opus Posthumous'' (1957) === :<small>'''New York: Alfred A. Knopf'''</small> [[File:Dr. Ambedkar with Mr. Wallace Stevens at Columbia University, New York (USA), while receiving LL.D. (Doctorate of Laws) for being the 'Chief Architect of the Constitution of India'.jpg|thumb|Let wise men piece the world together with wisdom <br> Or poets with holy magic.]] [[File:Wallace Stevens signature.svg|thumb|Style is not something applied. It is something that permeates.]] * Let wise men piece the world together with wisdom <br> Or poets with holy magic. <br> Hey-di-ho. ** "Hieroglyphica" <!-- date? 1934 --> * After one has abandoned a belief in God, poetry is that essence which takes its place as life’s redemption. ** "Proverbs", from ''Sur Plusieurs Beaux Sujects'' (1932–1937) * To see the gods dispelled in mid-air and dissolve like clouds is one of the great human experiences. It is not as if they had gone over the horizon to disappear for a time; nor as if they had been overcome by other gods of greater power and profounder knowledge. It is simply that they came to nothing. <!-- p. 260 --> ** "Two or Three Ideas" (1951) * '''Style is not something applied. It is something that permeates.''' It is of the nature of that in which it is found, whether the poem, the manner of a god, the bearing of a man. It is not a dress. ** "Two or Three Ideas" * The number of ways of passing between the traditional two fixed points of man’s life, that is to say, of passing from the self to God, is fixed only by the limitations of space, which is limitless. The eternal philosopher is the eternal pilgrim on that road. It is difficult to take him seriously when he relies on the evidence of the teeth, the throat and the bowels. Yet in the one poem that is unimpeachably divine, the poem of the ascent into heaven, it is possible to say that there can be no faults, since it is precisely the faults of life this poem enables us to leave behind. If the idea of God is the ultimate poetic idea, then the idea of the ascent into heaven is only a little below it. ** "A Collect of Philosophy" (1951) <!-- p. 369 http://books.google.com/books?id=qztUqewMpa0C&pg=PT369 --> ==== Adagia ==== * A grandiose subject is not an assurance of a grandiose effect but, most likely, of the opposite. * Sentimentality is a failure of feeling. * A poem should be a part of one's sense of life. * A poet looks at the world as a man looks at a woman. * The poet makes silk dresses out of worms. * All history is modern history. * All poetry is experimental poetry. * Poetry is a purging of the world's poverty and change and evil and death. It is a present perfecting, a satisfaction in the irremediable poverty of life. * The imagination is one of the forces of nature. * To have nothing to say and to say it in a tragic manner is not the same thing as having something to say. * Man is an eternal sophomore. * The poet is a god, or, the young poet is a god. The old poet is a tramp. * To a large extent, the problems of poets are the problems of painters, and poets must often turn to the literature of painting for a discussion of their own problems. * God is in me or else is not at all (does not exist). * The world is a force, not a presence. * Poetry is a search for the inexplicable. * A poem is a meteor. * In the world of words, the imagination is one of the forces of nature. * The poet is the priest of the invisible. == Attributed == * [[Success]] as a result of industry is a peasant ideal. ** In [[Charles Bukowski]], "Ten Jack-Offs", ''The Most Beautiful Woman in Town'' (1983) * I like my [[philosophy]] smothered in [[beauty]] and not the opposite. ** In Bart Eeckhout, ''Wallace Stevens and the Limits of Reading and Writing'' (2002), Ch. 12 "Poeticizing Epistemology", p. 268 * Poetry is an effort of a dissatisfied man to find satisfaction through words. ** In Bart Eeckhout, ''Wallace Stevens and the Limits of Reading and Writing'' (2002), Ch. 12 "Poeticizing Epistemology", p. 268 == Quotes about Stevens == [[File:Poet in the City event on Wallace Stevens.jpg|thumb|Post-religious man, as Stevens saw him, still had a deep need for the kind of exaltation of the body and spirit which goes under different names in different religions — Christians call it [[w:Divine grace|grace]]. ~ [[Justin Quinn]]]] [[File:Library Walk 22.JPG|thumb|Contrary to all appearances, to the difficulty of his verse, and to the preoccupied, distracted interpretations of contemporary critics, Wallace Stevens' poetry is a profoundly spiritual force. Anyone interested in the spiritual problems of modern humans must reckon with it. ~ [[Dana Wilde]]]] * Post-religious man, as Stevens saw him, still had a deep need for the kind of exaltation of the body and spirit which goes under different names in different religions — Christians call it [[w:Divine grace|grace]], that is, the feeling or knowledge that the [[workings]] of [[God]] are revealed to the individual, thus lifting him or her up to a state of ecstatic consciousness. ... For the romantics in general such moments of ecstasis in the midst of nature are experienced by the solitary imagination, and the bonds of society are cast away as unimportant. Stevens once said that the romantic is a falsification, and perhaps the reason for the comment was his feeling that such moments of ecstatic relation in the midst of nature had to be given a ''social'' and eventually ''political'' meaning, rather than remaining in the arena of the spirit. Stevens poetry then offers a pastoral romantic ecstasis that become the occasions for searching out the relations between the individual, his or her [[community]] and the natural world. ** [[Justin Quinn]], [http://colloquium.upol.cz/coll00/quinn.htm "Nature & Ideology in Wallace Stevens"], ''colloquium.upol.cz'' (2000) *A more attractive attitude of defense was disclosed at a café. In one corner, a man was playing a guitar, and the stranger turned to watch him. The guitar player was good; the stop and tremble of the strings touched everyone in that room. "You know," said the stranger, "I respect creative people, any kind; I never used to feel that way, but something happened-I know a man in the city I come from, a business associate (I'm a lawyer)-we've gone on fishing trips for twenty years I know him fairly well, I'd say-big man, too: six foot four, weighs two hundred and forty pounds. Twenty years, and I just found out last month that he writes poems. I asked around; he's written books of them; very good, too, they say. I'm going to get ahold of some. But I sure feel different about creative people." "What is the name of your friend?" "Wallace Stevens," said the stranger. **[[Muriel Rukeyser]] ''The Life of Poetry'' (1949) * I turn now <br> not to [[the Bible]] <br> but to Wallace Stevens. ** [[R. S. Thomas]], in "Homage to Wallace Stevens" in ''No Truce with the Furies'' (1995) * [[Blessings]], Stevens; <br> I stand with my back to grammar <br> At an altar you never aspired <br> to, celebrating the sacrament <br> of the imagination whose high-priest <br> notwithstanding you are. ** [[R. S. Thomas]], in "Homage to Wallace Stevens" in ''No Truce with the Furies'' (1995) * At the [[heart]] of many of Stevens's poems are harsh and unpalatable [[experiences]] revealed only gradually through his intense stylization. ** [[w:Helen Vendler|Helen Vendler]], in ''The Columbia History of American Poetry'' (1993) edited by Jay Parini and Brett Candlish Millier * Stevens' way of informing us comes in language and imagery so radically different from previous times that it is difficult to recognize exactly what he means. But throughout his poetry he speaks, like the [[mystics]], primarily of the nature of our relationship with the universe. He continually circles back to the idea that we actively participate in what the world looks like and what it means. Although cast in modern terms, this idea is profoundly spiritual and moral. {{pb}} Since he gives no evidence of any direct visionary experience, it's not possible to say Stevens is a "mystic" or a "contemplative" poet. But he is a major figure in modern poetry because he synthesizes the concerns of the modern world — the emphasis on the human self as maker of meaning, the emphasis on scientific rationality, the emphasis on creating new forms to replace outmoded beliefs — with the perennial concerns of the human spirit. To find meaning, or the good — or by implication, God — we need to radically adjust our conception of reality. This takes powerful acts of individual imagination, and the possibilities are immense... Contrary to all appearances, to the difficulty of his verse, and to the preoccupied, distracted interpretations of contemporary critics, Wallace Stevens' poetry is a profoundly spiritual force. Anyone interested in the spiritual problems of modern humans must reckon with it. ** Dana Wilde [http://www.antigonishreview.com/bi-109/109-wilde.html "An Introduction to Reading Wallace Stevens as a Poet of the Human Spirit" in ''The Antigonish Review'' 109 (February 1999)] * Mr. Stevens is the master of a style: that is the most remarkable thing about him. His gift for combining words is baffling and fantastic but sure: even when you do not know what he is saying, you know that he is saying it well. ** [[Edmund Wilson]], 1924 review of ''Harmonium'', in ''The Shores of Light: A Literary Chronicle of the Twenties and Thirties'' (1952), p. 49 * Stevens is a poet who argues that [[life]] is what one makes of it within the limitations of one's own [[sensibility]]. ** Samuel French Morse in introduction to ''Poems by Wallace Stevens'' (1959), p. 13. == External links == * {{wikipedia-inline}} * {{Wikisource-inline}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Stevens, Wallace}} [[Category:Poets from the United States]] [[Category:Absurdists]] [[Category:Agnostics]] [[Category:Humanists]] [[Category:Mystics]] [[Category:Businesspeople from the United States]] [[Category:Lawyers from the United States]] [[Category:1879 births]] [[Category:1955 deaths]] [[Category:People from Pennsylvania]] [[Category:Formalist poets]] kaqdmk2yeiy1olftac20sqb43rc7h60 0 12786 3942132 3940463 2026-05-17T18:29:06Z ~2026-29706-39 3323666 3942132 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} [[File:Beauty and the Beast in a Disneyland parade.JPG|thumb|right|In a Walt Disney World parade.]] '''''[[w:Beauty and the Beast (1991 film)|The Beauty and the Beast]]''''', also known as simply '''''Beauty and the Beast''''', '''''The Beauty and Beast''''' or '''''Beauty and Beast''''', is an American [[w:1991 in film|1991 animated film]] about a prince cursed to spend his days as a hideous monster who sets out to regain his humanity by earning a young woman's love. It was produced by [[w:Walt Disney Animation Studios|Walt Disney Feature Animation]] and released by [[w:Walt Disney Pictures|Walt Disney Pictures]]. :''Directed by [[w:Gary Trousdale|Gary Trousdale]] and [[w:Kirk Wise|Kirk Wise]]. Written by [[w:Linda Woolverton|Linda Woolverton]]''. :''Music by [[Alan Menken]]'' and includes "[[w:Beauty and the Beast (Disney song)|Beauty and the Beast]]". Written by [[w:Howard Ashman|Howard Ashman]] and performed by [[w:Peabo Brysonf|Peabo Bryson]] and [[w:Celine Dion|Celine Dion]]. {{center|'''The most beautiful love story ever told.'''}} == Belle == * What is this place? Phillipe, please, steady. ''[enters the gate and sees Maurice's hat on the ground]'' Papa. * That's funny, I'm sure there was someone... I-I-Is there anyone here? * He's no monster, Gaston. You are! * ''[gasps]'' No... no! No, please... Please don't leave me... ''[she sobs softly, laying her face against his chest]'' I love you... == Prince Adam/The Beast == * Yes... but you must promise to stay here forever. * The castle is your home now, so you can go anywhere you like, except the west wing. ''['''Belle''': What's in the West--] [growls]'' It's forbidden! * You will join me for dinner! THAT'S NOT A REQUEST! == Gaston == * ''['''LeFou''': So, how'd it go?]'' I'll have Belle for my wife. Make no mistake about that. * Take whatever booty you can find, but remember, the Beast is mine! * If I didn't know better, I'd think you had feelings for this monster. * What's the matter, Beast? Too kind and gentle to fight back? == Lumière == * Ma chère, mademoiselle. It is with deepest pride pleasure and greatest pride that I welcome you tonight. And now, we invite you to relax. Let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents...your dinner. * Don't you see? She's the one. The girl we have been waiting for. She has come to break the spell! == Cogsworth == * Couldn't keep quiet, could we? Just had to invite him to stay, didn't we? Serve him tea, sit in the master's chair, pet the pooch. * Dinner is served. == Mrs. Potts == * How would you like a nice spot of tea, sir? It'll warm you up in no time. * Well, you can start by making yourself more presentable. Straighten up, try to act like a gentleman. == Chip Potts == * Mama. There's a girl in the castle. * You guys gotta try this thing. == Maurice == * If no one will help me, then I'll go back alone. Yes, is that everything? I don't care what it takes. I'll find that castle and somehow, I... I'll get her out of there. * Hitch up Philippe, girl. I'm off to the fair! == Others == * '''Tavern Man''': Maurice? * '''Monsieur D'Arque''': So you want me to throw her father in the asylum unless she agrees to marry you? ''[They both nod in agreement]'' Oh, that is despicable. I love it! * '''Tom''': Who? * '''Dick''': Is it a big beast? * '''Stanley''': With a long, ugly snout? * '''Walter''': And sharp, cruel fangs? == Dialogue == :'''Narrator''': ''[first lines]'' Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a young prince lived in a shining castle. Although he had everything his heart desired, the prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind. But then, one winter's night, an old beggar woman came to the castle and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold. Repulsed by her haggard appearance, the prince sneered at the gift and turned the old woman away, but she warned him not to be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found within. And when he dismissed her again, the old woman's ugliness melted away to reveal a beautiful enchantress. The prince tried to apologize, but it was too late, for she had seen that there was no love in his heart, and as punishment, she transformed him into a hideous beast, and placed a powerful spell on the castle, and all who lived there. Ashamed of his monstrous form, the beast concealed himself inside his castle, with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. The rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose, which would bloom until his 21st year. If he could learn to love another, and earn her love in return by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. As the years passed, he fell into despair, and lost all hope, for who could ever learn to love a beast? :''[We have seen a progression of stained glass windows illustrating the narration, as well as Beast shredding his portrait, the camera slowly zooms out from the castle. A girl with beautiful, long, flowing and wavy brown hair tied up in a low ponytail tied up by a ribbon captivating, large, striking, expressive and round hazel eyes, full pink lips, fair skin, rosy cheeks, full, soft and slightly arched eyebrows, small and petite duchess nose, a heart-shaped round face and a sculpted, slim and well-proportioned figure, wearing a medium-length cerulean blue sleeveless dress with a white long puffy-sleeved shirt with a puffy collar underneath, a white apron around her waist, a white petticoat, and dark brown ballet flats with darker brown soles on her feet, her name is Belle. She exits the front door and begins her walk into town]'' :'''Belle''': ''[singing]'' Little town, it's a quiet village / Every day, like the one before / Little town, full of little people / Waking up to say? :'''Townsfolk #1''': Bonjour! :'''Townsfolk #2''': Bonjour! :'''Townsfolk #3''': Bonjour! :'''Townsfolk #4''': Bonjour! :'''Townsfolk #5''': Bonjour! :'''Belle''': ''[singing]'' There goes the baker with his tray like always / The same old bread and rolls to sell / Every mornin' just the same / Since the mornin' that we came / To this poor provincial town... :'''Baker''': Good mornin', Belle! :''[Belle jumps over to the bakery]'' :'''Belle''': Mornin' monsieur! :'''Baker''': Where are you off to? :'''Belle''': The bookshop! I just finished the most wonderful story, about a beanstalk and an ogre and... :'''Baker''': ''[ignoring her]'' That's nice...Marie, the baguettes! Hurry up!! :'''Townsfolk''': Look there she goes, that girl is strange no question / Dazed and distracted, can't you tell? :'''Woman #1''': Never part of any crowd :'''Barber''': Cause her head's up on some cloud :'''Townsfolk''': No denying she's a funny girl, that Belle! :'''Driver''': Bonjour! :'''Woman #2''': Good day! :'''Driver''': How is your family? :'''Woman #3''': Bonjour! :'''Merchant''': Good day! :'''Woman #3''': How is your wife? :'''Woman #4''': I need six eggs! :'''Man #1''': That's too expensive! :'''Belle''': There must be more than this provincial life! :''[Belle enters the bookshop]'' :'''Bookseller''': Ah, Belle! :'''Belle''': Good mornin'. I've come to return the book I borrowed. :'''Bookseller''': ''[putting the book back on the shelf]'' Finished already? :'''Belle''': Oh, I couldn't put it down! Have you got anything new? :'''Bookseller''': ''[laughing]'' Not since yesterday. :'''Belle''': ''[on ladder of bookshelf]'' That's all right. I'll borrow... this one. :'''Bookseller''': That one? But you've read it twice! :'''Belle''': Well, it's my favorite! ''[Belle swings off side of ladder, rolling down it's track]'' Far off places, daring swordfights, magic spells, a prince in disguise! :'''Bookseller''': ''[handing her the book]'' Well, if you like it all that much, it's yours! :'''Belle''': But sir! :'''Bookseller''': I insist! :'''Belle''': Well, thank you. Thank you, very much! ''[leaves bookshop]'' :'''Men''': ''[looking in window, then turning to watch her]'' Look there she goes / That girl is so peculiar! / I wonder if she's feeling well! :'''Women''': With a dreamy far-off look! :'''Men''': And her nose stuck in a book! :'''All''': What a puzzle to the rest of us is Belle! ''[Belle sits on the edge of a fountain, singing to a flock of sheep and the washing woman in the background, who leaves]'' :'''Belle''': Ohhhhh, isn't this amazing! / It's my favorite part because, you'll see! / Here's where she meets Prince Charming / But she won't discover that it's him 'til chapter three! :'''Woman #5''': Now it's no wonder that her name means 'beauty' / Her looks have got no parallel! :'''Merchant''': But behind that fair facade / I'm afraid she's rather odd / Very different from the rest of us... :'''All''': She's nothing like the rest of us / Yes different from the rest of us is Belle. :'''LeFou''': ''[first words]'' Wow! You didn't miss a shot, Gaston! You're the greatest hunter in the whole world! :'''Gaston''': ''[first words]'' I know! :'''LeFou''': Huh. No beast alive stands a chance against you...and no girl for that matter! :'''Gaston''': It's true, LeFou, and I've got my sights set on that one! ''[pointing to Belle]'' :'''LeFou''': The inventor's daughter? :'''Gaston''': She's the one! The lucky girl I'm going to marry. :'''LeFou''': But she's-- :'''Gaston''': The most beautiful girl in town. :'''LeFou''': I know-- :'''Gaston''': And that makes her the best. And don't I deserve the best? :'''LeFou''': Well of course, I mean you do, but I mean... :'''Gaston''': ''[singing]'' Right from the moment when I met her, saw her / I said she's gorgeous and I fell / Here in town there's only she ''[Belle walks by and away]'' / Who is beautiful as me / So I'm making plans to woo and marry Belle. :'''Bimbettes''': Look there he goes, isn't he dreamy / Monsieur Gaston, oh he's so cute / Be still my heart, I'm hardly breathing / He's such a tall, dark, strong and handsome brute. ''[Belle walks easily through the crowd of people in the town, Gaston struggles to catch up to her]'' :'''Man #1''': Bonjour! :'''Man #2''': Good day! :'''Man #3''': Mais oui! :'''Woman #1''': You call this bacon? :'''Woman #2''': What lovely grapes! :'''Man #4''': Some cheese! :'''Woman #3''': 10 yards! :'''Man #4''': 1 pound! :'''Gaston''': Excuse me! :'''Man #4''': I'll get the knife! :'''Gaston''': Please let me through! :'''Woman #4''': This bread, it's stale! :'''Man #5''': Those fish! They smell! :'''Man #6''': Madame's mistaken! :'''Belle''': ''[singing]'' There must be more than this provincial life! :'''Gaston''': ''[singing]'' Just watch I'm going to make Belle my wife! ''[Townsfolk gather around Gaston, and eventually surround him]'' :'''Chorus''': Look there she goes a girl who's strange but special / A most peculiar mademoiselle / It's a pity and a sin / She doesn't quite fit in! / 'Cause she really is a funny girl! / A beauty but a funny girl / She really is a funny girl! / That Belle!? :'''Gaston''': Bonjour! Whoa-oh! ''[song ends; to Belle]'' Hello, Belle. :'''Belle''': Bonjour, Gaston. ''[Gaston grabs the book from Belle]'' Gaston, may I have my book, please? :'''Gaston''': How can you read this? There's no pictures! :'''Belle''': Well, some people use their imagination. :'''Gaston''': Belle, it's about time you got your head out of those books, ''[tossing book into the mud]'' and paid attention to more important things. Like me. The whole town's talking about it. ''[The Bimbettes, who are looking on, sighing romantically. Belle has picked up the book and is cleaning off the mud]'' It's not right for a woman to read. Soon she starts getting ideas and thinking. :'''Belle''': Gaston, you are positively primeval. :'''Gaston''': ''[putting his hand around her shoulders]'' Why, thank you, Belle. What do you say you and me take a walk over to the tavern, and take a look at my trophies? :'''Belle''': Maybe some other time. :'''Bimbette #1''': What's the matter with her? :'''Bimbette #2''': She's crazy! :'''Bimbette #3''': He's gorgeous. :'''Belle''': Please, Gaston, I can't. I have to get home to help my father. Goodbye. :'''LeFou''': Ha ha ha, that crazy old loon, he needs all the help he can get! ''[he and Gaston laugh heartily]'' :'''Belle''': ''[angrily]'' Don't you talk about my father that way. :'''Gaston''': Yeah, don't talk about her father that way! ''[conks LeFou on the head]'' :'''Belle''': My father's not crazy! He's a genius! ''[explosion in background. Gaston and LeFou continue laughing. She rushes home and descends into the basement; coughed]'' Papa?! :'''Maurice''': How on earth did that happen? ''[Belle coughs again]'' Doggone it! ''[pulls the barrel off his waist, along with his pants]'' :'''Belle''': Are you alright, Papa? :'''Maurice''': I'm about ready to give up on this hunk of junk! ''[kicks the machine]'' :'''Belle''': You always say that. :'''Maurice''': I mean it this time! I'll never get this boneheaded contraption to work! :'''Belle''': Yes, you will. And you'll win first prize at the fair tomorrow. :'''Maurice''': Hmmmph! :'''Belle''': And become a world-famous inventor. :'''Maurice''': You really believe that? :'''Belle''': I always have. :'''Maurice''': Well, what are we waitin' for? I'll have this thin' fixed in no time. Hand me that... The dog-legged clincher there. So, did you have a good time in town today? :'''Belle''': I got a new book. Papa, do you think I'm odd? :'''Maurice''': My daughter? Odd? Ha! Where would you get an idea like that? :'''Belle''': I don't know. It's just that I'm not sure I fit in here. There's no one I can really talk to. :'''Maurice''': What about that Gaston? He's a handsome fella. :'''Belle''': He's handsome, all right, and rude and conceited and... Oh, Papa, he's not for me. :'''Maurice''': Well, don't you worry. Cause this invention's gonna be the start of a new life for us. ''[comes out from under machine]'' I think that's done it. Now, let's give it a try. :''[Machine whirs and chops wood, just as it should]'' :'''Belle''': It works! :'''Maurice''': It does? It does! :'''Belle''': You did it! You really did it! :'''Maurice''': Hitch up Philippe, girl. I'm off to the fair! :''[Log strikes him in the head, knocking him out. Fade to later in the day]'' :'''Belle''': Goodbye, Papa! Good luck! :'''Maurice''': Goodbye, Belle, and take care while I'm gone! :''[Fade to the deep forest, night. After a few hours of traveling, it seems obvious that they are lost, after Belle plays the violin. Philippe walks on cautiously, frightened out of his wits]'' :'''Maurice''': We should be there by now. ''[above them, an owl hoots, adding to the spookiness of the environment]'' Maybe we missed a turn. I guess I should have taken... wait a minute. ''[raising his lantern toward a sign with arrows pointing in separate directions, though the writing is faded and unreadable. Philippe snorts, and whinnies to go one fashion, but he pulls his reins in the separate direction]'' No, let's go this way! ''[Philippe whinnies and looks at the path Maurice has picked. It is dark and foggy with light blue clouds, with many trees forming an archway. Then he looks at the other path, which is much more inviting. Philippe whinnies to go on the safer path, but he pulls him toward the other one]'' Come on, Philippe, it's a shortcut! We'll be there in no time. ''[the two continue down the path, albeit slowly due to Philippe, fearing what can be lurking about in the darkness. At that moment, a shadow whisks past them and the sound of wolf howling fills the air, spooking Philippe whinnies; looking at his map]'' This can't be right. Where have you taken us, Philippe? We'd better turn around. ''[suddenly, the howling becomes louder. Philippe whinnies to back up, afraid of whatever might be around them]'' Whoa. Whoa, boy. Whoa, now. Whoa, Philippe. ''[but the spooked horse does not stop in time, and bumps into a hollow tree. A flocks of bats swarm out and surround them]'' Look out! No! ''[Philippe runs off in fear, not noticing where he's going]'' Whoa! Whoa, boy! ''[eventually, his steed stops until he sees where he is; at the edge of a very tall cliff]'' Back up! Back up! Back up! ''[they back off slowly, yet afraid to an inch of their lives]'' Good boy, good boy. That's good, that's–back up! Steady. Steady! Now, steady. Steady. ''[the howling is now so loud, Philippe whinnying]'' Oh, no, Philippe?! ''[looks up and sees wolves growling at him. Maurice runs away, being chased by the wolves. He stumbles down a hill, and lands at the gate of a castle. He grabs the locked gate and tries to shake it open]'' Help! Is... Is someone there? Help! :''[The gate opens, and Maurice runs in. He slams the gate in the faces of the wolves. Leaving his hat on the ground as the rain begins to fall, Maurice runs to the castle and bangs on the door. It creaks open and he enters, cautiously]'' :'''Maurice''': Hello? Hello? :''[Watching from a table near the entrance are Lumière and Cogsworth]'' :'''Lumière''': ''[barely whispering]'' Poor fellow must have lost his way in the woods. :'''Cogsworth''': ''[also whispering]'' Keep quiet! Maybe he'll go away. :'''Maurice''': Is someone there? :'''Cogsworth''': Not a word, Lumiere. Not one word! :'''Maurice''': I don't mean to intrude, but I've lost my horse and I need a place to stay for the night. :'''Lumière''': ''[looking at Cogsworth like a child having just found a lost puppy]'' Oh, Cogsworth, have a heart. :'''Cogsworth''': Shush shush shhhhh! ''[puts hand over Lumière's mouth, who promptly proceeds to touch his lit candle hand to Cogsworth's hand]'' Ow, ow! '''''OW, OW, OW, OUCH!!!!!''''' :'''Lumière''': Of course, monsieur, you are welcome here. :'''Maurice''': ''[looking around in confusion]'' Who said that? :''[He picks up the candlestick for light, not realizing that the speaker is in his hand]'' :'''Lumière''': ''[tapping him on the shoulder]'' Over here! :'''Maurice''': ''[spins around, pulling Lumière to the other side]'' Where? :'''Lumière''': ''[taps Maurice on the side of the head. Maurice looks at Lumière]'' Hello! :'''Maurice''': Oh!!!! ''[startled, he drops Lumière onto the floor]'' Incredible! :'''Cogsworth''': ''[hopping over]'' Well, now you've done it, Lumière. Splendid, just peachy--aaarrrgghh! :''[Maurice picks up Cogsworth]'' :'''Maurice''': How is this accomplished? :''[He fiddles with Cogsworth]'' :'''Cogsworth''': Put me down! At once! ''[Maurice tickles the bottoms of Cogsworth's feet. He laughs. He begins to wind the spring on the back of Cogsworth's head, twisting his face around with the clock hands. Maurice opens the front of Cogsworth and begins to play with his pendulum. Cogsworth slams the door shut on his finger]'' Stop that! Stop that, I say! Sir, close that at once, do you mind! :'''Maurice''': I beg your pardon, it's just that I've never seen a clock that...aah...I mean...aah aah aah-chooo!!! :''[Maurice sneezes in the face of Cogsworth, who proceeds to wipe his face off using his clock hands in a very anachronistic windshield wiper manner. Maurice sniffles, indicating the cold he has caught from being in the rain]'' :'''Lumière''': Oh, you are soaked to the bone, monsieur. Come, warm yourself by the fire. :'''Maurice''': Thank you. :''[Lumière and Maurice head towards the den, with Cogsworth running after them]'' :'''Cogsworth''': No, no, no, do you know what the master would do if he finds you here. ''[Beast is watching the action from an overhead walkway, and rushes off as the trio enters the den]'' I demand that you stop...right...there! ''[Cogsworth tumbles down the steps. Maurice takes a seat in a large chair in front of a roaring fire]'' Oh, no, not the master's chair! ''[Footstool rushes past Cogsworth, barking up a storm]'' I'm not seeing this, I'm not seeing this! :'''Maurice''': ''[as Footstool rushes up to him]'' Well, hello there, boy. ''[Footstool props himself up under the feet of Maurice. Coatrack enters and removes his cloak]'' What service! :'''Cogsworth''': All right, this has gone far enough. I'm in charge here... :''[Cogsworth is run over by the (once again) anachronistic IndyCar sounding teacart of Mrs. Potts]'' :'''Mrs. Potts''': ''[arriving by the side of Maurice]'' How would you like a nice spot of tea, sir? It'll warm you up in no time. :''[Mrs. Potts pours tea into cup, Chip, which hops over into Maurice's open hand]'' :'''Cogsworth''': ''[from face down position on carpet]'' No! No tea, no tea!!! :'''Chip''': ''[as Maurice sips the tea]'' Ha ha! His mustache tickles, Mama! :'''Maurice''': ''[startled by the cup]'' Oh! Hello! :''[The door to the den slams open and a strong gust of wind blows into the room, extinguishing Lumière's flames and the fire in the fireplace. Cogsworth dives for cover. Mrs. Potts begins to shake. Chip jumps back onto the tea cart and takes refuge from behind his mother]'' :'''Chip''': Uh-oh! :''[Beast enters. We see him in full for the first time. He is on all fours. The monster with the head hair and coat of a bigfoot, the eye masks of a [[w:St. Bernard (dog breed)|st. bernard]], the head shape of a demon nun, the head of an Minotaur, the eyespots of a panda, the nose of a rat, the beard of a goat, the head structure, size, body build, and hump of an [[w:American bison|American bison]], the voice, button lip, and beard brow of Sweetums, the mane hair of a warthog, the top lip of a witch, the rims of an owl, the face of a mandrill, the jaws of a leopard, the cheek stripes of a thompson’s gazelle, the teeth and cheek ruffs of a tiger, the jowl of a pig, the eye sockets of an '''[[w:Triceratops|Triceratops]]''', the hair and facial of a sable antelope, the fangs of a tabby cat, the tusks of a wild boar, the eyes of a human the horned head and torso of a yak, the cheek-striped masks and throat mane of a kudu, the muzzle of a baboon, the earmarks of a deer, the ears of a cow, the eyebrows, forehead, strong muscles, and chest of a gorilla, the poll of a sheep, the mascaras of a meerkat, the cheek stripe-mane of a chinstrap penguin, the horns of a bull, the maw, mouth, sounds, and mane of a lion, the brows of a monkey, the neck hair of an ibis, the facial ruffs of a lynx, the head shape, neck mane, and ear masks of a wildebeest, the back mane of a aardwolf, the eye rings of a crow, the ear hair of a donkey, the face ruffs and toe claws of a fox, the nose bridge of a jaguar, the neck of a rhino, the crest of a spotted hyena, the arms, fur, claws, and body of a bear, the build of a hippo, the haircut and toes of a border collie, the hindquarters of a t-rex, and the legs, feet, and tail of a wolf. He looks around in the darkness]'' :'''Beast''': ''[first words; growling his words]'' There's a stranger here. :'''Lumière''': ''[who has relit his flames]'' Master, allow me to explain. The gentleman was lost in the woods and he was cold and wet, so... :''[Lumière's last sentence is drowned out by the very loud growl of Beast, which puts out his flames once again. Lumière looks down, dejected]'' :'''Cogsworth''': ''[coming out from under a rug]'' Master, I'd like to take this moment to say, I was against this from the start. It was all his fault. I tried to stop them, but would they listen to me? No, no... ''[Again, Beast's growl drowns out Cogsworth]'' :''[The Beast barges in to see Maurice getting settled in the castle]'' :'''Beast''': Who are you?! What are you doing here?! :'''Maurice''': I-I-I was lost in the woods and-- :'''Beast''': You're not '''WELCOME HERE!''' :'''Maurice''': I-I'm...I'm sorry. :'''Beast''': What are you '''STARING AT?!''' :'''Maurice''': Nothing. :'''Beast''': So...you've come to stare at the '''BEAST, HAVE YOU?!?!''' ''[blocks Maurice's way]'' :'''Maurice''': ''[pleaders]'' Please! I mean no harm, I just needed a place to stay! :'''Beast''': I'll give you a place to stay! ''[picks up Maurice]'' :'''Maurice''': ''[as the Beast takes him to the tower]'' No, no, please! No! No! ''[door slams]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''LeFou''': Heh! Oh boy! Belle's gonna get the surprise of her life, huh Gaston? :'''Gaston''': Yep. This is her lucky day. :''[Gaston lets go of a branch, which swings back and hits LeFou in the mouth. Gaston turns to the band, wedding guests and others, apparently just out of sight of Belle's cottage.]'' :'''Gaston''': I'd like to thank you all for coming to my wedding. But first, I'd better go in there and... propose to the girl. ''[chuckles; the male guests laugh and the Bimbettes sob]'' And you, LeFou. When Belle and I come out that door... :'''LeFou''': Oh, I know! I know! I strike up the band! :''[The band plays "Here Comes the Bride," loud and fast, until Gaston rams a tuba down on LeFou's head]'' :'''Gaston''': Not yet! :'''LeFou''': ''[sticked his lips through the mouthpiece]'' Sorry! :''[There was a knock on the door.]'' :'''Belle''': Gaston, what a pleasant surprise. :'''Gaston''': Isn't it though? I'm just full of surprises. You know, Belle. There's not a girl in town who wouldn't love to be in your shoes. This is the day...''[Gaston pauses by a mirror and licks his teeth clean.]'' This is the day your dreams come true. :'''Belle''': What do you know about my dreams, Gaston? :'''Gaston''': Plenty! Here, picture this. ''[sits, props muddy boots on Belle's book, kicks them off]'' A rustic hunting lodge, my latest kill roasting on the fire, and my little wife, massaging my feet, while the little ones play with the dogs. We'll have six or seven. :'''Belle''': Dogs? :'''Gaston''': No, Belle! Strapping boys, like me! :'''Belle''': Imagine that. ''[retrieves book and shelves it]'' :'''Gaston''': And do you know who that wife will be? :'''Belle''': Let me think. :'''Gaston''': You, Belle! :'''Belle''': I'm speechless! I really don't know what to say. :'''Gaston''': Say you'll marry me! :'''Belle''': I'm very sorry, Gaston, but... ''[turns the doorknob]'' ...but I just don't deserve you! :''[She opens the door]'' :'''Gaston''': Whoa! :''[Gaston stumbles out and she throws his boots after him before closing it. Gaston lands in a pig's mud wallow as LeFou conducts the band in "Here Comes the Bride"]'' :'''LeFou''': Ooh, so, how'd it go? Oomph! Uh. :'''Gaston''': ''[picks up LeFou, angrily]'' I'll have Belle for my wife! Make no mistake about that! :'''LeFou''': Oh. :''[throws LeFou into the mud and storms off]'' :'''LeFou''': Hmm! Touchy! ''[The pig oinks in agreement]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Belle''': ''[to the chickens]'' Is he gone? ''[seeing he is, hurried outside, a bucket of chickens feed in her hand]'' Can you imagine? He asked me to marry him. Me, the wife of that boorish, brainless? ''[walks of the animals, and feeding the chickens, singing]'' Madame Gaston, can't you just see it? / Madame Gaston, his little wife. ''[kicks the buckets, the chickens clucking and goats bleats]'' / No, sir, not me, I guarantee it / I want much more than this provincial life. / I want adventure in the great wide somewhere / I want it more than I can tell / And for once it might be grand / To have someone understand / I want so much more than they've got planned ''[Phillipe runs into the open field. Belle looks at him, disturbed that Maurice is not with him.]'' :'''Belle''': Phillipe! What are you doing here? Where's Papa? Where is he, Philippe? What happened? Oh, we have to find him, you have to take me to him. ''[Belle unhitches the wagon from Philippe.]'' :''[Outside the castle gate. (How Phillipe brought Belle there is a mystery, seeing as Phillipe never made it to the castle with Maurice.)]'' :'''Belle''': What is this place? :'''Philippe''': ''[snorts, neighs]'' :'''Belle''': Phillipe, please, steady. Papa. :'''Cogsworth''': Couldn't keep quiet, could we? Just had to invite him to stay, didn't we? Serve him tea, sit in the master's chair, pet the pooch. :'''Lumière''': I was trying to be hospitable. :'''Belle''': Hello? Is anyone here? Hello? Papa? Papa, are you here? :'''Chip''': Momma. There's a girl in the castle! :'''Mrs. Potts''': Now, Chip, I won't have you making up such wild stories. :'''Chip''': But really, momma, I saw her. :'''Mrs. Potts''': Not another word. Into the tub. :'''Featherduster''': A girl! I saw a girl in the castle! :'''Chip''': See, I told ya! :'''Cogsworth''': Irresponsible, devil-may-care, waxy eared, slack-jawed-- :'''Belle''': Papa? :'''Lumière''': Did you see that? It's a girl! :'''Cogsworth''': I know it's a girl. :'''Lumière''': Don't you see? She's the one. The girl we have been waiting for. She has come to break the spell! :'''Cogsworth''': Wait a minute, wait a minute! :'''Belle''': Papa? Papa? Hello? Is someone here? Wait! I'm looking for my father! I... That's funny, I'm sure there was someone... I-I-Is there anyone here? :'''Maurice''': Belle? :'''Belle''': Oh, Papa! :'''Maurice''': But how did you find me? :'''Belle''': Oh, your hands are ice. I have to get you out of here! :'''Maurice''': You must go! :'''Belle''': Who's done this to you? :'''Maurice''': No time to explain! You must go ''now!'' :'''Belle''': I won't leave you! :'''Beast''': '''What are you doing here?!''' :'''Maurice''': Run, Belle! :'''Belle''': Who's there? Who are you? :'''Beast''': The master of this castle. :'''Belle''': I've come for my father. Please let him out! Can't you see he's sick?! :'''Beast''': ''[angrily; losing patience]'' Then he shouldn't have trespassed here! :'''Belle''': But he could die! Please, I'll do anything! :'''Beast''': There's nothing you can do! He's my prisoner! :'''Belle''': Oh, there must be some way I can... Wait! Take me instead. :'''Beast''': '''''YOU'''''... You would... take his place? :'''Maurice''': Belle, no! You don't know what you're doing! :'''Belle''': If I did, would you let him go? :'''Beast''': Yes. But... you must promise to stay here forever! :'''Belle''': Come into the light. :'''Maurice''': No, Belle! I won't let you do this! :'''Belle''': You have my word. :'''Beast''': Done! :'''Maurice''': No, Belle. Listen to me. I'm old, I've lived my life- :'''Belle''': Wait! :'''Maurice''': '''Belle!''' :'''Belle''': ''WAIT!!'' :'''Maurice''': No, please spare my daughter! :'''Beast''': She's no longer your concern. Take him to the village. :'''Maurice''': Please, let me out, please! :'''Lumière''': Master? :'''Beast''': What? :'''Lumière''': Since the girl is going to be with us for quite some time, I was thinking that you might want to offer her a more comfortable room. Then again, maybe not. :'''Belle''': You didn't even let me say goodbye. I'll never see him again. I didn't get to say goodbye. :'''Beast''': I'll show you to your room. :'''Belle''': My room? But I thought... :'''Beast''': You wanna stay in the tower? :'''Belle''': No. :'''Beast''': Then follow me. :'''Lumière''': Say something to her. :'''Beast''': Hmm? Oh. I hope you like it here. The castle is your home now, so you can go anywhere you like, except the West Wing. :'''Belle''': What's in the West... :'''Beast''': It's forbidden! Now, if you need anything, my servants will attend you. :'''Lumière''': Dinner... invite her to dinner. :'''Beast''': ''[angrily; losing patience]'' You will join me for dinner. That's not a request! <hr width="50%/> :'''Gaston''': ''[displeased about what happened to him]'' Who does she think she is? That girl has '''''tangled''''' with the wrong man! No one says no to Gaston! :'''LeFou''': Heh-heh! Darn right! :'''Gaston''': Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly Humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear! ''[throwing his two mugs of beer into the fireplace]'' :'''LeFou''': More beer? :'''Gaston''': ''[frustratingly turning his chair away from the fireplace]'' What for? Nothing helps! I'm disgraced. :'''LeFou''': Who, you? Never! Gaston, you've gotta pull yourself together! ''[singing]'' Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston / Looking so down in the dumps / Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston :'''Old Cronies''': Hooray! :'''LeFou''': Even when taking your lumps / There's no man in town as admired as you / You're everyone's favorite guy! / Everyone's awed and inspired by you / <big>'''''AND IT'S NOT... VERY HARD! TO SEE WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!'''''</big> / Noooooo, oooone's sllllick as Gaston, no one's quick as Gaston / No one's next as incredibly thick as Gaston / For there's no man in town half as manly / Perfect, a pure paragon! / You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley / And they'll tell you who's team they'd prefer to be '''''yooooooown!!!!!!''''' :''[LeFou has pulled a man's belt off, whose pants fall to the ground. LeFou jumps up and wraps the belt around Gaston's neck, who flexes and breaks it off. LeFou continues to dance around. Old cronies pick him up and swing him around]'' :'''Old Cronies''': Noooooo, oooone's been like Gaston, a king-pin like Gaston. :'''LeFou''': No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston. :'''Gaston''': As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating! :'''Old Cronies''': My, what a guy that Gaston! ''[swing LeFou back and forth into the camera. LeFou tickles Gaston's chin, who stands with pride]'' Give 5 hurrahs, give 12 hip-hips! :'''LeFou''': Gaston is the best and the rest is all drips! :''[LeFou swings up his arm in dance and throws a mug of beer in Gaston's face, who socks LeFou in the face]'' :'''All''': Noooooo, oooone, fights like Gaston, douses lights like Gaston. :'''Stanley''': In a wrestling match, nobody bites like Gaston. :'''Bimbettes''': For there's no one as burly and brawny. :'''Gaston''': As you see I've got biceps to spare. :'''LeFou''': Not a bit of him scraggly or scrawny. :'''Gaston''': That's right! And every last inch of me's covered with hair! ''[Gaston fights with the men, then lifts a bench with the Bimbettes on it. He drops the bench on LeFou, then turns to the camera and reveals his hairy chest]'' :'''Old Cronies''': No one hits like Gaston, matches wits like Gaston. :'''LeFou''': In a spitting match, nobody spits like Gaston! :'''Gaston''': I'm especially good at expectorating! Ptooey! :'''All''': '''''10 POINTS FOR GASTON!''''' :''[Gaston plays a chess game with a man, then hits the board, sending it and pieces all over. He takes a bite of leather from the belt once wrapped around his neck, chews it and spits it into a spittoon, which falls and gets stuck on the head of LeFou]'' :'''Gaston''': When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs. Every morning to help me get '''''LARGE!!!''''' And now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen eggs. So I'm roughly the size of a '''''ba-a-a-a-arge!''''' ''[Gaston juggles a number of eggs, then swallows them whole. LeFou attempts the trick, and is hit in the face by three eggs]'' :'''All''': Noooooo, oooone shoots like Gaston, makes those beauts like Gaston. :'''LeFou''': Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston. :'''Gaston''': I use antlers in all of my decorating! :''[Gaston takes three shots at a beer barrel, which begins leaking into the mugs of onlookers. He returns stomping to his chair, where we see the fireplace surrounded by the heads of the animals he has killed. The mystery cut of music is here! Cut to ending of "Gaston Reprise"]'' :'''All''': My what a '''''guuuuuy!''''' <big>'''''GASTOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNN!!!!!!'''''</big> :''[The old cronies have picked up the chair and carry Gaston around in it. LeFou tries to flee, but they toss the chair into its normal place, and LeFou is pinned underneath. Maurice bursts in frantically]'' :'''Maurice''': Help! Someone help me! :'''Tavern Man''': Maurice? :'''Maurice''': Please! Please, I need your help! He's got her. He's got her locked in the dungeon. :'''Tom''': Who? :'''Maurice''': Belle. We must go. Not... not a minute to lose! :'''Gaston''': Whoa! Slow down, Maurice. Who's got Belle locked in a dungeon? :'''Maurice''': A beast! A horrible, monstrous beast! ''[Maurice has gone from person to person, pleading his case, until he is thrown at the feet of Gaston. A moment of silence, then the old cronies begin to laugh and mock him]'' :'''Dick''': Is it a big beast? :'''Maurice''': Huge! :'''Stanley''': With a long, ugly snout? :'''Maurice''': Hideously ugly! :'''Walter''': And sharp, cruel fangs? :'''Maurice''': Yes, yes. Will you help me? :'''Gaston''': All right, old man. We'll help you out. :'''Maurice''': You will? Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! :''[The old cronies pick up Maurice and help him out by throwing him through the door]'' :'''Tom''': Crazy old Maurice. :'''Dick''': He's always good for a laugh! :'''Gaston''': ''[very pensive]'' Crazy old Maurice, hmm? Crazy old Maurice. Hmm? ''[singing]'' LeFou, I'm afraid I've been thinking. :''[LeFou is still under the chair]'' :'''LeFou''': ''[singing]'' A dangerous pastime-- :'''Gaston''': ''[singing]'' I know, / But that wacky old coot is Belle's father / And his sanity's only so-so...| Now the wheels in my head have been turning / Since I looked at that loony old man / See I promised myself I'd be married to Belle, / And right now I'm evolving a plan! ''[Gaston picks LeFou out from under the chair and holds his head close, and whispers]'' :'''Gaston''': If I... ''[whispers]'' :'''LeFou''': Yes? :'''Gaston''': Then I... ''[whispers]'' :'''LeFou''': No, would she? :'''Gaston''': ''[whispering]'' ...GUESS! :'''LeFou''': Now I get it! :'''Gaston and LeFou''': '''Let's Go!''' ''[they begin a waltz around the floor as they sings]'' Noooooo, oooooone, plots like Gaston, takes cheap shots like Gaston. :'''LeFou''': Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston. :'''Chorus''': SO HIS MARRIAGE WE SOON'LL BE '''''Celebra-a-a-ti-i-ing!''''' / My what a guy, '''''GASTOOOOOOOOOON!!!''''' :''[Camera zooms out through window to snow covered square, empty except for Maurice]'' :'''Maurice''': ''[to no one in particular]'' Will no one help me? ''[Random; ? At the bedroom of the castle where Belle is still crying. There is a 'clink clink clink' at the door. She gets up and walks over to open the door. Mrs. Potts enters with Chip and their entourage]'' :'''Belle''': Who is it? :'''Mrs. Potts''': Mrs. Potts, dear. I thought you might like a spot of tea. :'''Belle''': But you...ah...but...I-- :'''Wardrobe''': Oof. Careful! :'''Belle''': This is impossible-- :'''Wardrobe''': I know it is, but here we are! :'''Chip''': Told you she was pretty, Mama, didn't I? :'''Mrs. Potts''': All right, now, Chip, that'll do. Slowly now. Don't spill. :'''Belle''': Thank you. :'''Chip''': Want to see me do a trick? :'''Mrs. Potts''': Chip?! :'''Chip''': Oops, sorry. :'''Mrs. Potts''': That was a very brave thing you did, my dear. :'''Wardrobe''': We all think so. :'''Belle''': But I've lost my father, my dreams, everything. :'''Mrs. Potts''': Cheer up, child. It'll turn out all right in the end. You'll see. Oops! Look at me, jabbering on, when there's a supper to get on the table. Chip! :'''Chip''': Bye! :'''Wardrobe''': Well now, what shall we dress you in for dinner? Let's see what I've got in my drawers. Oh-ho! How embarrassing. Here we are. Ah! There you are, you'll look ravishing in this one! :'''Belle''': That's very kind of you, but I'm not going to dinner. :'''Wardrobe''': Oh, but you must! :'''Cogsworth''': Dinner is served. :'''Beast''': What's taking so long? I told her to come down. '''Why isn't she here yet?!''' :'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, try to be patient, sir. The girl has lost her father and her freedom all in one day. :'''Lumière''': Uh, master. Have you thought that, perhaps, this girl could be the one to break the spell? :'''Beast''': Of course I have! I'm not a fool. :'''Lumière''': Good! You fall in love with her, she falls in love with you, and - Poof! - the spell is broken! We'll be human again by midnight! :'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, it's not that easy, Lumière. These things take time. :'''Lumière''': But the rose has already begun to wilt. :'''Beast''': Oh, it's no use. She's so beautiful, and I'm... well, look at me! :'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, you must help her to see past all that. :'''Beast''': I don't know how. :'''Mrs. Potts''': Well, you can start by making yourself more presentable. Straighten up, try to act like a gentleman. :'''Lumière''': Ah yes, when she comes in, give her a dashing, debonair smile. Come, come. Show me the smile. :'''Mrs. Potts''': But don't frighten the poor girl. :'''Lumière''': Impress her with your rapier wit. :'''Mrs. Potts''': But be gentle. :'''Lumière''': Shower her with compliments. :'''Mrs. Potts''': But be sincere. :'''Lumière''': And above all... :'''Mrs. Potts and Lumière''': You must control your temper! :'''Lumière''': There she is! :'''Cogsworth''': Uh, good evening. :'''Beast''': Well, where is she? :'''Cogsworth''': Who? Oh! The girl. Yes, the, ah, girl. Well, actually, she's in the process of, ah, um, circumstances being what they are, ew... She's not coming. :'''Beast''': <big>'''''WHAT?!?!'''''</big> :'''Cogsworth''': Oh, dear, Your Grace, Your Eminence! Let's not be hasty! :'''Beast''': '''I thought I told you to come down to dinner!''' :'''Belle''': I'm not hungry. :'''Beast''': '''You come out, or I'll...I'll...''I'LL BREAK DOWN THE DOOR!!!''''' :'''Lumière''': Master, I could be wrong, but that may not be the best way to win the girl's affections. :'''Cogsworth''': Please, attempt to be a gentleman. :'''Beast''': But she is being so ''difficult!'' :'''Mrs. Potts''': Gently, gently. :'''Beast''': Will you come down to dinner? :'''Belle''': No! :'''Beast''': Hmm?! :'''Cogsworth''': Uh-uh-uh! Suave. Genteel. :'''Beast''': It would give me great pleasure... if you would join me for dinner. :'''Cogsworth''': Ahem, ahem, we say "please". :'''Beast''': Please. :'''Belle''': No, thank you! :'''Beast''': ''[angrily; losing patience]'' '''You can't stay in there forever!''' :'''Belle''': ''[provoked]'' Yes, I can! :'''Beast''': ''[angrily]'' Fine! Then go ahead and ''[roars]'' '''''STAAAAARVE!!''''' If she doesn't eat with me, then she doesn't eat ''at all.'' :'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, dear. That didn't go very well at all, did it? :'''Cogsworth''': Lumière, stand watch at the door and inform me at once if there is the slightest change. :'''Lumière''': You can count on me, mon-Capitan. :'''Cogsworth''': Well, we might as well go downstairs and start cleaning up. :'''Beast''': I ask nicely, but she refuses! What-What does she want me to do?! Beg?! Show me the girl. :'''Wardrobe''': But the master's really not so bad once you get to know him. Why don't you give him a chance? :'''Belle''': I don't want to get to know him. I don't want to have anything to do with him! :'''Beast''': I'm just fooling myself. She'll never see me as anything but a monster. It's hopeless. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Fade out/Fade in to exterior of Belle's room. Door creaks open. Belle silently emerges. We see her feet go by as three bright spots shine through a curtain at floor level. Behind it are Lumière and Featherduster.]'' :'''Featherduster''': Oh, no! :'''Lumière''': Oh, yes! :'''Featherduster''': Oh, no! :'''Lumière''': Oh, yes, yes, yes! :'''Featherduster''': I've been burnt by you before! :''[Lumière and Featherduster have emerged and Lumière takes her in his arms. Suddenly he looks up and sees Belle walking down the hall. He drops Featherduster.]'' :'''Featherduster''': Oof! :'''Lumière''': Zut alors! She has emerged! :''[Inside the kitchen, where we find Cogsworth, Mrs. Potts, Chip and the stove.]'' :'''Mrs. Potts''': Come on, Chip. Into the cupboard with your brothers and sisters. ''[helping him in]'' :'''Chip''': But I'm not sleepy. :'''Mrs. Potts''': Yes you are. :'''Chip''': No, I'm not. ''[He falls asleep and Mrs. Potts shuts the cupboard door.]'' :''[A banging of pots and pans comes from the stove.]'' :'''Stove''': I work and I slave all day long, and for what? A culinary masterpiece gone to waste. :'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, stop your grousing. It's been a long night for all of us. :'''Cogsworth''': Well, if you ask me, she was just being stubborn. After all, the master did say please. :'''Mrs. Potts''': But if the master doesn't learn to control that temper, he'll never break the-- :''[Belle enters, and Cogsworth cuts off Mrs. Potts before she can say 'spell.']'' :'''Cogsworth''': ''[interrupting]'' Splendid to see you out and about, mademoiselle. :''[Lumière comes running in.]'' :'''Cogsworth''': I am Cogsworth, head of the household. :''[He leans over to kiss her hand, but Lumière butts in front of him.]'' :'''Cogsworth''': This is Lumière. :'''Lumière''': Enchanté, chérie. :'''Cogsworth''': ''[trying to talk around Lumière who is still kissing Belle's hand]'' If there's anything...stop that...that we can...please ''[finally shoving him out of the way]''...to make your stay more comfortable. ''[Lumière burns the hand of Cogsworth]'' Ow!!!! :'''Belle''': I am a little hungry. :'''Mrs. Potts''': ''[excited, to the other tea pots]'' You are? Hear that? She's hungry. Stoke the fire, break out the silver, wake the China. :''[The fire on the stove roars to life, and drawers open to reveal silverware standing at attention.]'' :'''Cogsworth''': ''[secretively]'' Remember what the master said. :'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, pish tosh. I'm not going to let the poor child go hungry. :'''Cogsworth''': ''[thinking he is giving in to the ultimate demand]'' Oh, all right, fine. Glass of water, crust of bread, and then-- :'''Lumière''': Cogsworth, I am surprised at you. She's not our prisoner. She's our guest. We must make her feel welcome here. ''[to Belle]'' Right this way, mademoiselle. :'''Cogsworth''': Well keep it down. If the master finds out about this, it will be our necks! :'''Lumière''': Of course, of course. But what is dinner without a little music? :''[Lumière has started out the swinging door. He lets it close, and the door hits Cogsworth and sends him across the room to land in a panfilled with (what looks like) pancake batter. He screams his line as he is in flight.]'' :'''Cogsworth''': '''''MUSIC?!''''' :''[Cut to dining room, where Belle is seated at the end of a long table. Lumière is on the table and a spotlight shines on him.]'' :'''Lumière''': Ma chère, mademoiselle. It is with deepest pride pleasure and greatest pride that I welcome you tonight. And now, we invite you to relax. Let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents...your dinner. ''[singing]'' Be our guest, be our guest / Put our service to the test, tie your napkin 'round your neck, chérie and we provide the rest! ''[The chair has wrapped a napkin around the neck of Belle, who takes it off and places it on her lap. The chair's arms put it's hands on it's 'waist' as if it were mad.]'' Soup du jour, hot hors d'oeuvres / Why we only live to serve / Try the grey stuff, it's delicious / Don't believe me? Ask the dishes! ''[Lumière offers Belle a plate of hors d'oeuvres. She dips her finger in one, and tastes it.]'' They can sing, they can dance / After all, miss, this is France! / And a dinner here is never second best! / Go on unfold your menu, take a glance and then you'll / Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest! ''[A cabinet at the end of the table opens to reveal a large China collection, which rolls out and begins to perform. Lumière hands Belle a menu, which she begins to read.]'' Beef ragout, cheese soufflé, Pie and pudding en flambé! / We'll prepare and serve with flair / A culinary cabaret! ''[plates of food go dancing by, with Cogsworth in the pudding. Lumière sets his torch to it, and it explodes, turning Cogsworth's face black with soot.]'' You're alone and you're scared, But the banquet's all prepared! / No one's gloomy or complaining, / While the flatware's entertaining! ''[The flatware enters a 'Busby Berkley-esque' swimming scene.]'' We tell jokes, I do tricks / With my fellow candlesticks ''[Lumière, standing on a plate, is elevated and begins to juggle his candles. Mugs enter the shot.]'' :'''Mugs''': And it's all in perfect taste / That you can bet!!! ''[The Mugs begin a gymnastics routine, hopping over one another and passing a beverage from one to the next]'' :'''All''': Come on and lift your glass, You've won your own free pass / To be our guest, be our guest, be our guest! :'''Lumière''': If you're stressed, it's fine dining we suggest! :'''All''': Be our guest, be our guest, be our guest! :''[All leave except Cogsworth, who looks scared, then begins to inch away. Lumière enters and holds him there.]'' :'''Lumière''': Life is so unnerving, For a servant who's not serving! / He's not whole without a soul to wait upon :'''Cogsworth''': Get off! :'''Lumière''': Ah, those good old days when we were useful :'''Cogsworth''': Huh? Oh! :'''Lumière''': Suddenly, those good old days are gone. :''[Lumière sings as if he were reminiscing. Snow begins to fall. Cogsworth looks up and sees the salt and pepper shakers doing their thing.]'' :'''Cogsworth''': Ohh. :'''Lumière''': 10 years we've been rustin' / Needin' so much more than dustin' / Needin' exercise, a chance to use our skills! :'''Cogsworth''': Yaaaaaooo… :''[Lumière dusts the salt of the head of Cogsworth, who tries to escape. He tripsand falls into the gelatin mold.]'' :'''Lumière''': Most days just lay around the castle. :'''Cogsworth''': Ngngngngh! :'''Lumière''': Flabby fat and lazy / You walked in, and oops-a-daisie! :'''Cogsworth''': Whoa! :''[Lumière jumps on a spoon in the gelatin, which catapults Cogsworth out of the mold. Cut to kitchen, where Mrs. Potts is surrounded by soap bubbles.]'' :'''Mrs. Potts''': It's a guest, it's a guest! Sakes alive, well I'll be blessed! Wine's been poured and thank the Lord I've had the napkins freshly pressed! ''[Mrs. Potts continues to dance around the kitchen]'' With dessert, she'll want tea, And my dear, that's fine with me! While the cups do their soft shoein', I'll be bubblin', I'll be brewin'! I'll get warm, pipin' hot Heaven's sake, is that a spot? Clean it up, we want the company impressed! We've got a lot to do-- Is it one lump or two? For you our guest! ''[Mrs. Potts is cleaned off by a napkin. She hops onto the tea cart and rolls into the dining room, where she offers tea to Belle.]'' :'''All''': She's our guest! :'''Mrs. Potts''': She's our guest! :'''All''': She's our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest! Our command is your request! :'''Cogsworth''': Let's go, people. Fun's over. Over here. Line up. Aaaaaaah! :'''All''': It's ten years since we had anybody here and we're obsessed! With your meal, with your ease, / Yes indeed, we aim to please / While the candlelight's still glowin' / Let us help you, we'll keep going! :''[The [[China]] and candlesticks perform an elaborately choreographed dance sequence, ending in a closeup of Lumière.]'' :'''Lumière and All''': Course, by course / One by one / Til you shout "Enough, I'm done!" / Then we'll sing you off to sleep as you digest. Tonight you'll prop your feet up, But for let's eat up, Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest! Please, '''BE...''' '''''OUR... <big>GUUUUUUUEEEEEEST!!!!!!</big>''''' :''[A fantastic ending comes of the song, with silverware flying through the air, plates and Featherdusters dancing, and Cogsworth the focus of attention, until Lumière comes sliding in and sends him flying out of camera range.]'' :'''Belle''': Bravo! That was wonderful! :'''Cogsworth''': Thank you, thank you, mademoiselle. Yes, good show, wasn't it everyone. ''[Looking at his own face]'' Oh, my goodness, will you look at the time. Now, it's off to bed, off to bed! :''[Lumière comes up next to Cogsworth.]'' :'''Belle''': Oh, I couldn't possibly go to bed now. It's my first time in an enchanted castle. :'''Cogsworth''': Enchanted? Who said anything about the castle being enchanted? ''[He tries to cover it up, just as a fork runs past. To Lumière]'' :'''Cogsworth''': It was you, wasn't it! :'''Belle''': I, um, figured it out for myself. :''[Cogsworth and Lumière have been fighting. They both look at her, then stop. Cogsworth dusts himself off, and Lumière fixes his wax nose.]'' :'''Belle''': I'd like to look around, if that's all right. :'''Lumière''': ''[excited]'' Oh! Would you like a tour? :'''Cogsworth''': Wait a second, wait a second. I'm not sure that's such a good idea. ''[Confidentially, to Lumière]'' We can't let her go poking around in certain places, if you know what I mean. :'''Belle''': ''[Poking Cogsworth in the belly (like the Pillsbury doughboy)]'' Perhaps you could take me. I'm sure you know everything there is to know about the castle. :'''Cogsworth''': ''[flattered]'' Well, actually, ah yes, I do! :''[Fade to Cogsworth, Lumière, and Belle walking down a hall with Sultan. Cogsworth is lecturing.]'' :'''Cogsworth''': As you can see, the pseudo façade was stripped away to reveal a minimalist rococo design. Note the unusual inverted vaulted ceilings. This is yet another example of the neo-classic baroque period, and as I always say, if it's not baroque, don't fix it! Ha ha ha. Now then, where was I? ''[He turns to find the heads of the suits of armor have turned to follow Belle.]'' :'''Cogsworth''': As you were! ''[They all snap back to face forward.]'' Now, if I may draw your attention to the flying buttresses above the--mademoiselle? :''[Cogsworth turns back to the group and is one girl short. He sees her beginning to climb the grand staircase. He and Lumière run up to her and jump in front of her, blocking her progress upstairs.]'' :'''Belle''': What's up there? :'''Cogsworth''': Where? Up there? Nothing. Absolutely nothing of interest at all in the West Wing. Dusty, dull, very boring. ''[Lumière has been shaking his head, but Cogsworth nudges him and he nods in agreement.]'' :'''Belle''': Oh, so that's the West Wing. :'''Lumière''': ''[To Cogsworth]'' Nice going! :'''Belle''': I wonder what he's hiding up there. :'''Lumière''': Hiding? The master is hiding nothing! :'''Belle''': Then it wouldn't be forbidden. :''[She steps over them, but they dash up and block her again.]'' :'''Cogsworth''': Perhaps mademoiselle would like to see something else. We have exquisite tapestries dating all the way back to... :'''Belle''': ''[again stepping over them]'' Maybe later. :'''Lumière''': ''[with Cogsworth, again dashing and blocking]'' The gardens, or the library perhaps? :'''Belle''': ''[Now, with incredible interest]'' You have a library? :'''Cogsworth''': ''[Thrilled that he has found something to interest her]'' Oh. yes! Indeed! :'''Lumière''': With books! :'''Cogsworth''': Gads of books! :'''Lumière''': Mountains of books! :'''Cogsworth''': Forests of books! :'''Lumière''': Cascades... :'''Cogsworth''': ...of books! :'''Lumière''': Swamps of books! :'''Cogsworth''': More books than you'll ever be able to read in a lifetime! Books on every subject ever studied, by every author who ever set pen to paper... :''[Lumière and Cogsworth begin marching off, and Belle begins to follow, but her curiosity overtakes her, and she turns back to the West Wing. Her excitement begins to dwindle, though, when she enters the hallway leading to Beast's lair. As she walks down the hall, she stops to look in a mirror that has been shattered into several pieces, each one reflecting her concerned look. She reaches the end of the hall and finds a closed door with gargoyle handles. She takes a deep breath, then reaches out and opens the door. Inside the lair, where Belle begins to explore. She is truly shocked by everything she sees. She wanders around, looking, and knocks over a table, but she catches it before it crashes to the floor. She then turns her head and sees a shredded picture on the wall. We can only see part of a portrait. It is the same portrait that was shredded in the opening. Belle reaches out and lifts the shreds of the picture to reveal the prince. We never see this, however, for then she turns her head and sees the rose under the bell jar. She walks over to it, her eyes transfixes. She reaches out, then lifts off the jar, leaves the rose unprotected. She reaches up, brushes back the strand of hair that has been repeatedly falling on her forehead, then reaches out to touch the rose. As she nears it, a shadow falls over her and Belle gasps in shocked. Beast has been on the balcony, and sees her. He jumps back into the room, then slams the jar back on the rose. He then turns his attention to Belle]'' :'''Beast''': ''[growing angrily-ish]'' Why did you come here? :'''Belle''': ''[backs away, scared]'' I'm-I'm sorry. :'''Beast''': I warned you never to come here! :'''Belle''': I didn't mean any harm. :'''Beast''': ''[angrier]'' Do you realize what you could have done?! :''[Beast begins to thrash at the furniture]'' :'''Belle''': ''[pleaders, but still scared]'' Please, stop! :'''Beast''': ''[screaming]'' <big>'''''GET OUT!!!!'''''</big> :'''Belle''': No! :'''Beast''': ''[screaming]'' <big>'''''GEEET, OOOOOOUUUTT!!!!'''''</big> :''[Belle turns and flees the room. Beast calms down, then falls into despair, finally realizes that he may have destroyed his chances with Belle. She reaches the stairway and grabs her cloak. She rushes down the stairs, wrapping the cloak around her and bursting past a confused Lumière and Cogsworth]'' :'''Lumière''': Where are you going? :'''Belle''': Promise or no promise, I can't stay here another minute! :'''Cogsworth''': Oh, no, wait, please! Please wait! :''[Lumière tries to respond, but Belle slams the door behind her. He and Cogsworth both bow their heads in sadness. When Belle outside in the forest on Philippe. She begins to ride through the forest, but Philippe comes to a stop. She looks up and sees the wolves. She gasps, then pulls the reins and begins to flee. She runs from side to side, making the wolves hit the trees (a la Speederbike chase in '''[[w:Return of the Jedi|Return of the Jedi]]'''). Philippe runs out on a frozen pond, but his and Belle's weight collapse the ice. The wolves chase her into the water. Some begin to drown, but Philippe is able to get out of the water before anything serious happens. He runs into a clears, but becomes surrounded by wolves. He bucks, throws Belle off and wrapped the reins around a tree branch. The wolves begin their attack on Philippe, but Belle comes to his rescue and beats them away with a stick. One wolf grabs the stick in its mouth and breaks half of it off, leaves Belle defenseless. Another leaps at her, grabs the corner of her cloak and dragging her to the ground]'' :'''Belle''': <big>'''''NO!!!'''''</big> ''[She looks up and sees a wolf about to jump on top of her. It leaps and is caught in mid-air by Beast. He throws the wolf away, then stands behind them and Belle. They lunge at each other. One rips a hole in Beast's shoulder, and the others focus their attack on that spot. Finally, Beast throws a wolf against a tree, knocks it out. The others turn and run in fear. Beast turns back to Belle, looks at her despairingly, then collapses. Belle, grateful to be alive, turns back to Philippe and begins to get on, but her conscience takes over, and she walks over to the fallen Beast. Fade to Belle and Philippe walking back to the castle, with Beast on the horse's back. Fade to inside the den, with Belle pouring hot water out of Mrs. Potts. She soaks a rag in the water, then turns to Beast, who is licking his wounds, dampening rag]'' Here, now. ''[sees the Beast licking the wound on his arm]'' Oh, don't do that. ''[the Beast backs away with a growl as the servants start to back away in fear]'' Just hold still. ''[places the rag on the Beast's wound; the Beast mighty roars in pain and the servants takes cover]'' :'''Beast''': <big>'''''THAT HURTS!!!'''''</big> :'''Belle''': If you'd hold still, it wouldn't hurt as much! :'''Beast''': Well, if you hadn't have run away, this wouldn't have happened. :'''Belle''': If you hadn't frightened me, I wouldn't have run away. :'''Beast''': Well, ''you'' shouldn't have been in The West Wing! :'''Belle''': Well, ''you'' should learn to control your temper. Now, hold still. This might sting a little. :'''Beast''': Hmm? Mmm! :'''Belle''': By the way, thank you, for saving my life. :'''Beast''': You're welcome. :''[The camera zooms out and we see the objects looking on with interest. Fade to Gaston's tavern, which is empty except for Gaston, LeFou and Monsieur D'Arque, who are all sitting at a table]'' :'''Monsieur D'Arque''': I don't usually leave the asylum in the middle of the night, but they said you'd make it worth my while. ''[Gaston pulls out a sack of gold and tosses it in front of him. He takes out a piece, scrapes it on his chin and continues]'' Aah, I'm listening. :'''Gaston''': It's like this. I've got my heart set on marrying Belle, but she needs a little persuasion. :'''LeFou''': ''[butting in]'' Turned him down flat! :''[Gaston slams a beer mug on his head]'' :'''Gaston''': Everyone knows her father's a lunatic. He was in here tonight raving about a beast in a castle... :'''Monsieur D'Arque''': Maurice is harmless. :'''Gaston''': The point is, Belle would do anything to keep him from being locked up. :'''LeFou''': Yeah, even marry him! :''[Gaston gives him another threatening look, and he ducks back under the mug]'' :'''Monsieur D'Arque''': So you want me to throw her father in the asylum unless she agrees to marry you? ''[They both nod in agreement]'' Oh, that is despicable. I love it! :''[Inside Belle's cottage, Maurice is packing to leave]'' :'''Maurice''': If no one will help me, then I'll go back alone. I don't care what it takes. I'll find that castle and somehow I'll get her out of there. :''[Maurice leaves to go find Belle, Gaston and LeFou enter her house to look for him and Belle.]'' :'''Gaston''': Belle? Maurice? :'''LeFou''': Oh, well. I guess it's not go to work, after all. :'''Gaston''': ''[grabs LeFou by his collar and carries him out]'' They have to come back sometime. And when they do, we'll be ready for them. LeFou, ''[throws him into the pile of snow nearby]'' don't move from that spot, until Belle and her father come home. ''[leaves on a horse wagon]'' :'''LeFou''': But... But I... ''[hits a wood]'' Ah, nuts! ''[a snow falls on him]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Outside the castle. Belle is playing in the snow with Phillipe and Sultan. Beast, Cogsworth and Lumière watch from the balcony.]'' :'''Beast''': I've never felt this way about anyone. ''[Looks excited]'' I want to do something for her. ''[Looks discouraged.]'' But what? :'''Cogsworth''': Well, there's the usual things--flowers, chocolates, promises you don't intend to keep... :'''Lumière''': Ahh, no no. It has to be something very special. Something that sparks her inter--wait a minute. :''[Cut to interior hallway leading to library. Beast and Belle are alone.]'' :'''Beast''': Belle, there's something I want to show you. ''[Begins to open the door, then stops.]'' But first, you have to close your eyes. :''[She looks at him questioningly.]'' :'''Beast''': It's a surprise. :''[Belle closes her eyes, and Beast waves his hand in front of her. Then he opens the door. He leads her in.]'' :'''Belle''': ''[Just as she enters the room]'' Can I open them? :'''Beast''': No, no. Not yet. Wait here. :''[Beast walks away to draw back the curtains. He does, and brilliant sunlight spills into the room. Belle flinches reflexively as the light hits her face.]'' :'''Belle''': Now can I open them? :'''Beast''': All right. Now. :''[Belle opens her eyes and the camera pulls back to reveal the gigantic library filled with books.]'' :'''Belle''': I can't believe it. I've never seen so many books in all my life! :'''Beast''': You--you like it? :'''Belle''': It's wonderful. :'''Beast''': Then it's yours. :'''Belle''': Oh, thank you so much. :''[Cut to Belle and Beast in background, with Objects including Chip in foreground watching them.]'' :'''Mrs. Potts''': Oh, would you look at that? :'''Lumière''': Ha ha! I knew it would work. :'''Chip''': What? What works? :'''Cogsworth''': It's very encouraging. :'''Featherduster''': Isn't this exciting! :'''Chip''': I didn't see anything. :'''Mrs. Potts''': Come along, Chip. There's chores to be done in the kitchen. :'''Chip''': But what are they talking about? What's going on? :''[Objects walk away. Fade to breakfast table with Belle at one end and Beast at the other, with Mrs. Potts between them. Belle is served breakfast, and as she begins to eat, she looks at Beast, gobbling up his food with no table manners whatsoever. Chip laughs, but Mrs. Potts shoots him an admonishing look. Belle turns away and tries to ignore it, but Chip comes to the rescue. He nudges the spoon with his nose, and Beast reaches out for it (very 3-D-ishly). Belle looks at him in wonder as he tries to eat with the spoon, but he has little success. Finally, Belle puts down her spoon and lifts her bowl as if in a toast. Beast looks at the compromise and does the same. They both begin to sip their breakfast out of their bowls. Fade to courtyard where Belle and Beast are feeding the birds.]'' :'''Belle''': There's something sweet / And almost kind / But he was mean / And he was coarse and unrefined. But now he's dear / And so unsure, / I wonder why I didn't see it there before. ''[Belle is trying to attract some birds to Beast, who shoves a handful of seed at them. Finally, she takes a handful and gently spreads it out, creating a trail. One lands in his hands, and he looks up thrilled.]'' :'''Beast''': She glanced this way / I thought I saw / And when we touched / She didn't shudder at my paw / No, it can't be / I'll just ignore / But then she's never looked at me that way before. ''[Belle has ducked around a tree, leaving Beast with the birds. She begins to look doubtful again, but turns her head around the tree and laughs. Beast is covered with birds.]'' :'''Belle''': New, and a bit alarming / Who'd have ever thought that this could be? / True, that he's no Prince Charming / But there's something in him that I simply didn't see. :''[Belle throws a snowball at Beast, who had looked at her proudly after the birds flew away. He begins to gather a large pile of snow. We cut to the Objects, looking out of a window at the two. In the background, Belle throws another snowball at Beast, who drops his huge pile of snow on his head. He chases her around a tree, but she ducks around the other side and sneaks up on him from behind.]'' :'''Lumière''': Well, who'd have thought? :'''Mrs. Potts''': Well, bless my soul. :'''Cogsworth''': And who'd have known? :'''Mrs. Potts''': Well, who indeed? :'''Lumière''': And who'd have guessed they'd come together on their own? :'''Mrs. Potts''': It's so peculiar. :'''All''': We'll wait and see / A few days more / There may be something there that wasn't there before. :''[Fade to den where Belle sits in front of a roaring fire and reads to Beast. Objects including Chip watch from doorway]'' :'''Cogsworth''': Yes, perhaps there's something there that wasn't there before. :'''Chip''': What? :'''Mrs. Potts''': There may be something there that wasn't there before. :'''Chip''': What's there, mama? :'''Mrs. Potts''': I'll tell you when you're older. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Inside the Beast's lair. He is in the tub getting washed up for the big night with Belle. Lumière is there with him.]'' :'''Lumière''': Tonight is the night! :'''Beast''': ''[hesitantly]'' I'm not sure I can do this. :'''Lumière''': You don't have time to be timid. You must be bold, daring. :'''Beast''': Bold. Daring. ''[Beast has emerged from the tub and shakes himself dry.]'' :'''Lumière''': There will be music. Romantic candlelight, provided myself, and when the time is right, you confess your love. :'''Beast''': ''[Inspired]'' Yes, I -- I con--No, I can't. :'''Lumière''': You care for the girl, don't you? :'''Beast''': More than anything. :'''Lumière''': Well then you must tell her. ''[Coatrack has been cutting Beast's hair. It finishes and steps back.]'' Voila. You look so...so... ''[Cut to shot of Beast in pig-tails and bows.]'' :'''Beast''': Stupid. :'''Lumière''': Not quite the word I was looking for. Perhaps a little more off the top. :''[Coatrack begins to cut and chop again. Cogsworth enters.]'' :'''Cogsworth''': Ahem ahem ahem. Your lady awaits. :''[Cut to grand staircase, where Belle descends from the West Wing side in a glittering gold ball gown. She reaches the landing and looks up at Beast, who is standing at the top of the stairs in his dress clothes. He is nudged on by Lumière from behind the curtain, and he descends and meets Belle at the landing. Arm in arm, they descend the last section of stairs and continue on their way to dinner, stopped momentarily by Sultan. Mrs. Potts sings from her cart with Chip on board.]'' :'''Mrs. Potts''': Tale as old as time / True as it can be / Barely even friends / Then somebody bends / Unexpectedly / Just a little change / Small to say the least / Both a little scared / Neither one prepared / Beauty and the Beast ''[Belle and Beast have moved into the ballroom, where they move through a computer perfect dance sequence. Beast occasionally looks over at Lumière and Cogsworth for their approval. Mrs. Potts and Chip are in the ballroom on their cart.]'' Ever just the same / Ever a surprise / Ever as before, ever just as sure / As the sun will rise / Tale as old as time / Tune as old as song / Bittersweet and strange, / Finding you can change, learning you were wrong / Certain as the sun / Rising in the east / Tale as old as time, / Song as old as rhyme, beauty and the Beast. / Tale as old as time, / Song as old as rhyme, beauty and the Beast. ''[To Chip]'' Off to the cupboard with you now, Chip. It's past your bedtime. Good night, love. ''[Chip slides off the end of the cart, and hops out of the room, but comes back for one last look. Belle and Beast have adjourned to the balcony under a starry night.]'' :'''Beast''': Belle? Are you happy here with me? :'''Belle''': ''[Hesitantly]'' Yes. ''[She looks off into the distance]'' :'''Beast''': What is it? :'''Belle''': ''[Looks at him desperately]'' If only I could see my father again, just for a moment. I miss him so much. :'''Beast''': ''[Looks disappointed for a moment, then excited.]'' There is a way. ''[The pair adjourn to Beast's lair, where Beast hands Belle the magic mirror.]'' This mirror will show you anything, anything you wish to see. :'''Belle''': ''[Hesitantly]'' I'd like to see my father, please. ''[The magic mirror shines into life, and Belle turns her head away as it flashes. Then it reveals Maurice fallen in the woods, coughing and lost. Belle is shocked. Beast looks at her with concern.]'' Papa. Oh, no. He's sick, he may be dying. And he's all alone. ''[Beast turns, then looks at the rose, deep in thought.]'' :'''Beast''': Then...then you must go to him. :'''Belle''': What did you say? :'''Beast''': I release you. You're no longer my prisoner. :'''Belle''': You mean...I'm free? :'''Beast''': Yes. :'''Belle''': Oh, thank you. Hold on, Papa. I’m on my way. :'''Beast''': Take it with you so you'll always have a way to look back and remember me. :'''Belle''': Thank you for understanding how much he needs me. ''[Belle turns to leave and Beast looks down in depression. She touches her hand to his cheek and rushes out. We see Belle's skirt fly past Cogsworth, who has entered the room.]'' :'''Cogsworth''': Well, your highness I have to say that everything it's going great I knew that she was capable. :'''Beast''': I let her go. :'''Cogsworth''': ''[chuckles]'' Yes, yes. Splen-- ''[realizes what the Beast just said]'' You what? How could you do that? :'''Beast''': I had to. :'''Cogsworth''': Yes, but why? :'''Beast''': Because... I love her. :''[Cut to Cogsworth telling the rest of the Objects about Beast's decision.]'' :'''All''': ''[except Cogsworth]'' He did '''''WHAT?!''''' :'''Cogsworth''': Yes, I'm afraid it's true. :'''Chip:''' She's going away? :'''Lumière''': But he was so close. :'''Mrs. Potts''': After all this time, he's finally learned to love. :'''Lumière''': That's it, then. That should break the spell. :'''Mrs. Potts''': But it's not enough. She has to love him in return. :'''Cogsworth''': And now it's too late. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Cut to Beast watching Belle leave from above. He roars in sorrow and anger. His roar turns into the sound of the wind. Belle is out in the snow.]'' :'''Belle''': Papa? Papa? ''[gasps]'' :''[Finally, she finds him face down in a snowbank. They return home, where LeFou is still waiting, disguised as a snowman.]'' :'''LeFou''': Oh, they're back. :''[Cut to black. POV of Maurice as his eyes open. He sees Belle.]'' :'''Maurice''': Belle? :'''Belle''': It's all right, Papa. I'm home. :'''Maurice''': I thought I'd never see you again. :'''Belle''': I missed you so much. :'''Maurice''': But the Beast. How did you escape? :'''Belle''': I didn't escape, Papa. He let me go. :'''Maurice''': That horrible Beast? :'''Belle''': But he's different, now. He's changed somehow. :''[There is a sound coming from Belle's pack. The flap opens and the magic mirror falls out with Chip rolling to a stop on it.]'' :'''Chip''': Hi! :'''Belle''': Oh, a stowaway. :'''Maurice''': Why, hello there, little fella. Didn't think I'd ever see you again. ''[Chip turns to Belle with a look of question on his face.]'' :'''Chip''': Belle, why'd you go away? Don't you like us anymore? :'''Belle''': Oh, Chip. Of course I do. It's just that-- :''[There is a knocking at the door. Belle opens it and Monsieur D'Arque stands on the porch.]'' :'''Belle''': May I help you? :'''Monsieur D'Arque''': I've come to collect your father. :'''Belle''': My father? :'''Monsieur D'Arque''': Don't worry, mademoiselle. We'll take good care of him. :'''Belle''': My father's not crazy. :'''LeFou''': He was raving like a lunatic. We all heard him, didn't we! :'''Bystanders''': Yes! :'''Belle''': No, I won't let you. :'''Maurice''': Belle? :'''LeFou''': Maurice. Tell us again, old man, just how big was the Beast? :'''Maurice''': Well, he was... that is... enormous. I'd say at least eight, no more like ten feet. :'''LeFou''': Well, you don't get much crazier than that. :'''Maurice''': It's true, I tell you! :'''LeFou''': Get him out of here! :'''Maurice''': Let go of me! :'''Belle''': No, you can't do this! :'''Gaston''': Poor Belle. It's a shame about your father. :'''Belle''': You know he's not crazy, Gaston. :'''Gaston''': Hmm. I think I might be able to clear up this little misunderstanding, if... :'''Belle''': If what? :'''Gaston''': If you marry me. :'''Belle''': What? :'''Gaston''': One little word, Belle. That's all it takes. :'''Belle''': Never! :'''Gaston''': Have it your way. :'''Maurice''': Belle? Let go of me! :'''Belle''': My father's not crazy and I can prove it! Show me the Beast! :'''Woman #1''': Is it dangerous? :'''Belle''': Oh, no, no. He'd never hurt anyone. Please, I know he looks vicious, but he's really kind and gentle. He's my friend. :'''Gaston''': If I didn't know better, I'd think you had feelings for this monster. :'''Belle''': He's no monster, Gaston. You are! :'''Gaston''': She's as crazy as the old man! The Beast will make off with your children! He'll come after them in the night! :'''Belle''': No! :'''Gaston''': We're not safe until his head is mounted on my wall! I say we kill the Beast! :''[Mob cheers him and repeats the words 'kill him'.]'' :'''Man #1''': We're not safe until he's dead. :'''Man #2''': He'll come stalkin' us at night! :'''Woman #1''': Set to sacrifice our children to his monstrous appetite! :'''Man #3''': He'll wreak havoc on our village / If we let him wander free. :'''Gaston''': So, it's time, to take some action, boys, it's tiiime, tooo, folloooww, meeeeee!!!!!! ''[Gaston throws a torch into a haystack, creating an instant bonfire. He begins to prance around it, warning of the dangers of the horrible Beast.]'' Through the mist, through the woods / Through the darkness and the shadows / It's a nightmare but it's one exciting ride. / Say a prayer, then we're there / At the drawbridge of a castle, And there's something truly terrible inside. ''[Gaston chases LeFou around, mimicking a monster.]'' It's a Beast, He's got fangs, razor sharp ones / Massive paws, Killer claws for the feast ''[Magic mirror shows the face of Beast to LeFou, which Gaston exaggerates about.]'' Hear him roar, see him foam, But we're not comin' home, Until he's dead / Good and dead, kill the Beast! :'''Belle''': ''[Interjecting]'' No, I won't let you do this. :'''Gaston''': If you're not with us, you're against us. Bring the old man. ''[Gaston is snatched the mirror and clutches the pants]'' :'''Maurice''': Get your hands off me! ''[Gaston throws them into the basement and bolts the door.]'' :'''Gaston''': We can't have them runnin' off to warn the creature! :'''Belle''': <big>'''''LET US OUT!!!'''''</big> :'''Gaston''': ''[To the crowd]'' We'll rid the village of this Beast. '''''Who's with me?''''' :''[A chorus of "I am"s comes from the crowd]'' :'''Mob''': Light your torch, mount your horse! :'''Gaston''': Screw your courage to the sticking place :'''Mob''': We're countin' on Gaston to lead the way! Through a mist, to a wood, Where within a haunted castle, Something's lurking that you don't see every day! ''[Gaston leads the Mob through the town and out into the forest, where they start chopping trees in preparation for their assault on the castle.]'' It's a Beast, One as tall as a mountain! We won't rest / Until he's good and deceased! Sally forth, tally ho, Grab your sword, grab your bow / Praise the Lord and here we go! :'''Gaston''': <big>'''''WE'LL LAY SIEGE TO HIS CASTLE AND BRING BACK HIS HEAD!!!'''''</big> :''[Cut to interior of basement, where Belle is prying at the window with a stick.]'' :'''Belle''': I have to warn the Beast. This is all my fault. Oh, Papa. What are we going to do? :'''Maurice''': ''[Comforting her]'' Now, now. We'll think of something. ''[We see Chip looking in through the window. He turns around, thinking, and then he sees Maurice's contraption with the axe on the end of it.]'' :'''Mob''': We don't like, what we don't / Understand, it frankly scares us / And this monster is mysterious at least! Bring your guns, bring your knives, Save your children and your wives, We'll save our village and our lives, We'll kill the Beast! :'''Cogsworth''': I knew it, I knew it was foolish to get our hopes up. :'''Lumière''': Maybe it would have been better if she had never come at all. ''[Sultan comes in barking. They rush over to the window expecting the return of Belle.]'' Could it be? :'''Mrs. Potts''': Is it she? :'''Lumière''': ''[Realizing the Mob is not Belle]'' Sacre bleu, invaders! :'''Cogsworth''': Encroachers! :'''Mrs. Potts''': ''[Seeing Gaston]'' And they have the mirror! :'''Cogsworth''': ''[Issuing orders]'' Warn the master. If it's a fight they want, we'll be ready for them. ''[Turns around from window]'' Who's with me? Aahh! :''[The door is slammed as the rest of the Objects leave Cogsworth behind.]'' :'''Gaston''': Take whatever booty you can find, but remember, the Beast is mine! :''[Cut to stairway, where Objects are marching down to do battle with the Mob.]'' :'''Objects''': Hearts ablaze, banners high! We go marching into battle, Unafraid, although the danger just increased! :'''Mob''': Raise the flag, sing the song / Here we come, we're fifty strong, and 50 Frenchmen can't be wro-o-o-ong, Let's kill the Beast! :''[Cut to interior of Beast's lair, where Mrs. Potts is briefing him.]'' :'''Mrs. Potts''': Pardon me, master. :'''Beast''': Leave me in peace. :'''Mrs. Potts''': But sir, the castle is under attack! :'''Mob''': Kill the Beast, kill the Beast! :''[The Objects have tried to block off the door, but it is being bashed in by the Mob.]'' :'''Lumière''': This isn't working! :'''Featherduster''': Oh, Lumière! We must do something! :'''Lumière''': Wait! I know! :'''Mob''': Kill the Beast, kill the Beast! :''[Cut to Beast's lair]'' :'''Mrs. Potts''': What shall we do, master? :'''Beast''': ''[Still very sad]'' It doesn't matter now. Just let them come. :'''Mob''': Kill the Beast, kill the Beast, kill the Beast!! ''[The Mob succeeds in breaking in, and finds a grand entrance filled with assorted pieces of furniture, teacups, candlesticks, Featherdusters and clocks. They tiptoe in, and LeFou unknowingly picks up Lumière.]'' :'''Lumière''': '''''NOW!!!''''' ''[All the Objects spring into life, attacking their human enemies. Cut back to Belle's home, where Chip has readied the invention with purple smoke.]'' :'''Chip''': Yes! Here we go! :''[Chip has a rise in Maurice's invention with a violin sounds louder. Maurice looks out from the window and sees the advancing axe.]'' :'''Maurice''': What the devil? Belle, look out! :''[The invention crashes into the door, and a red cloud of smoke poofs out of the basement. Belle and Maurice emerge from the wreckage to find Chip swinging on a loose spring.]'' :'''Chip''': You guys gotta try this thing. :''[Cut back to the castle where the attack continues.]'' :'''Mrs. Potts''': Up here, you scurvy scum! Now! ''[She and all the cups pour boiling tea on the guy's head.]'' :''[Cut back to the castle where the attack continues. Meanwhile, Gaston has broken off from the Mob, and is searching out Beast. Belle, Maurice, Philippe and Chip are making their way to the castle. Finally, the invaders (a la Invaders storm in '''[[w:Willow (1988 film)|Willow]]''').]'' :'''Stove''': Roaaaar! :'''Tom, Stanley and LeFou''': '''AAAAAAAAH!!''' :'''LeFou''': Move, move, move, move! :''[They are chased out and the Objects celebrate their victory.]'' :'''Cogsworth''': And stay out! ''[Lumière pulls over Cogsworth and kisses him once on each cheek. Cogsworth shakes it off.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Cut to Gaston, who finds Beast's lair. He raises his crossbow and takes aim. Beast looks up at him, then looks back down in sadness again. Gaston releases the arrow and it strikes Beast in the shoulder. He screams in pain and stands. Gaston rushes him and they fly out the window onto the balcony, where it has begun to rain.]'' :'''Gaston''': Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! ''[Gaston corners Beast on the edge of the roof. Beast simply sits there in despair.]'' Get up! Get up! What's the matter, Beast? Too kind and gentle to fight back? :''[Beast looks down ignoring him. Gaston walks into the foreground and breaks off a piece of the roof. He is about to smash it on Beast's head when Belle's voice drifts up. She is on the bridge and is yelling to Gaston, telling him to stop.]'' :'''Belle''': No! :'''Beast''': Belle. :'''Belle''': No, Gaston, don't! Let's go, Philippe. :'''Gaston''': ''[to Beast]'' <big>'''''COME ON, OUT AND FIGHT?!'''''</big> We're you in love with her, Beast? '''''DID YOU HONESTLY THINK SHE'D WANT YOU WHEN SHE HAD SOMEONE LIKE ME?!''''' :''[The Beast has been provoked enough. He emerges and they fight again]'' :'''Gaston''': It's over, Beast! '''''BELLE IS MINE!!''''' :''[The Beast and Gaston are fighting on top of the castle; the Beast strikes at him, grabs him and holds him over the edge]'' :'''Gaston''': ''[last words]'' Let me go, let me go! Please... don't hurt me! I'll do anything! '''''ANYTHING!!!!''''' :''[The Beast glares with fury, then his anger slowly melts as he realizes that Gaston's what he could've become. He pulls Gaston back in and close to his face]'' :'''Beast''': ''[in a calm, but tranquil fury manner]'' Get out. ''[shoves Gaston to the ground]'' :'''Belle''': ''[comes out on the balcony]'' Beast! :'''Beast''': Belle. ''[begins to climb the tower until he reaches the balcony. He hangs over the side]'' Belle? ''[they reached their hands as they reunite]'' You came back. :''[The Beast and Belle stare passionately at each other, but the moment is interrupted when Gaston sneaks up and stubs the Beast in the back with a knife. The Beast roars in pain and Gaston pulls the knife out and swings back for another shot. The Beast starts to fall, knocks over Gaston off his balances. Belle reaches forward and pulls the Beast back, while Gaston falls off into the castle moats to his deaths with a scream. Belle helps the injured Beast up onto the balcony, where he lies down on the floor. The servants come rushing out but stay out of sight. The Beast lays dying with Belle at his side; meanwhile, the rose is down to its last petal, weakly]'' :'''Beast''': You... You came back. :'''Belle''': Of course, I came back. I couldn't let them.... ''[hugs the Beast]'' Oh, this is all my fault. If only I'd gotten here sooner. :'''Beast''': Maybe it's better...it's better this way. :'''Belle''': Don't talk like that. You'll be all right. We're together now. Everything's going to be fine. You'll see. :'''Beast''': ''[last words; reaches up and touches Belle's cheek]'' At least...I got to see you...1 last time. ''[his paw falls and his eyes close as he dies]'' :'''Belle''': ''[gasps]'' No. No. Please. Please. Please don't leave me. ''[sobs]'' I love you. ''[The last petal falls away, leaving Cogsworth, Lumière, and Mrs. Potts distraught; suddenly, a magical shower falls around the Beast and Belle, and the Beast rises into the air, turning into a human prince Adam, whose name was Prince Adam; then, he lands on the ground and when he gets up, he turns toward Belle]'' :'''Prince Adam''': Belle... it's me. :'''Belle''': ''[looks into his eyes and recognizes him from the portrait]'' It ''is'' you! :''[They kiss, a fireworks display explodes around them. The gloom surrounding, the castle disappears, revealing a blue sky]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Last lines; The castle is transformed, with the gargoyles changing into cherubs. Finally, we return to the balcony, where the servants hop out to meet Prince Adam and Belle. One by one, they are transformed back to their original human conditions]'' :'''Prince Adam''': Lumiere! Cogsworth! Oh, Mrs. Potts! Look at us! ''[Chip comes riding in on Footstool]'' :'''Chip''': Mama! Mama! ''[The pair transforms back into a boy and dog]'' :'''Mrs. Potts''': ''[Picking up her boy]'' Oh, my goodness! :'''Lumière''': It is a miracle! :'''Belle''': How wonderful! ''[Prince Adam picks up Belle and swings her around. The ruffles of her skirt wipe to the ballroom, where all are gathered to celebrate, Prince Adam and Belle dance around the room as the rest at the characters]'' :'''Lumière''': Ah, l'amour. ''[Lumière says this, and a maid, obviously the former Featherduster walks by, brushing him on the chin; chuckles, starts to chase after her, but Cogsworth stops him]'' :'''Cogsworth''': Well, Lumiere, old friend. Shall we let bygones be bygones? :'''Lumière''': Of course, mon ami. I told you she would break the spell. :'''Cogsworth''': I beg your pardon, old friend, but I believe I told you. :'''Lumière''': No, you didn't. I told you. :'''Cogsworth''': You most certainly did not, you pompous paraffin-headed pea-brain! :'''Lumière''': En garde, you overgrown pocket watch! ''[Lumière takes off his glove and slaps Cogsworth across the face with it. They begin to fight. Cut to Belle and Prince Adam who continue to dance around the floor. The camera stops on Mrs. Potts, Chip and Maurice, who is beginning to crying]'' :'''Chip''': Are they going to live happily ever after, Mama? :'''Mrs. Potts''': Of course, my dear. Of course. :'''Chip''': ''[tiny pauses]'' Do I still have to sleep in the cupboard? ''[Maurice laughs and Mrs. Potts hugs her child and laughs. Cut to a camera looking over the entire ballroom with all in the shot. It slowly zooms out with Belle and Prince Adam dancing around the room, and fades into the final stained glass window, this one with Belle and Prince Adam in the center, surrounded by the rest of the characters]'' :'''Chorus''': Certain as the sun / Rising in the east / Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme / Beauty and the beast!| Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme / Beauty and the beast! ===Special Edition Release=== :'''Cogsworth''': Right then! You all know why we're here. We have exactly 12 hours, 36 minutes, and 15 seconds to create the most magical, spontaneous, romantic atmosphere known to man or beast. ''[Chuckles weakly]'' "Or beast.." Right. Need I remind you that if the last petal falls from this rose, the spell will never be broken! Very well. You all know your assignments. Half of you to the West Wing, half of you to the East Wing, the rest of you, come with me. :'''Lumière''': Hoho, lighten up Cogsworth, and let nature take its course. :'''Mrs. Potts''': It's obvious there's a spark between them. :'''Cogsworth''': Yes yes yes... But there's no harm in fanning the flames. You know, a little. Besides, they must fall in love tonight if we ever expect to be human again. :'''Lumière''': Aaah...human again... :'''Mrs. Potts''': Human again... :'''Lumière''': Yes, think what that means... ''[singing]'' I'll be cooking again, be good-looking again, With a mademoiselle on each arm / When I'm human again, only human again / Poised and polish and gleaming with charm / I'll be courting again, chic and sporting again :'''Mrs. Potts''': Which should cause several husbands alarm :'''Lumière''': ''(Ha, ha!)'' I'll hop down off this shelf, and tout de suite be myself, :'''Lumière, Mrs. Potts and Cogsworth''': I can't wait to be human again :'''Essentials''': When we're human again, only human again / When we're knickknacks and whatnots no more / When we're human again, good and human again :'''Wardrobe''': O, chérie, won't it all be top drawer? I'll wear lipstick and rouge / And I won't be so huge / Why, I'll easily fit through that door / I'll exude savoir faire / I'll wear gowns, I'll have hair / It's my prayer to be human again :'''Mrs. Potts and Cogsworth''': When we're human again, only human again / When the world once more starts making sense :'''Cogsworth''': I'll unwind, for a change :'''Lumière''': Really? That'd be strange :'''Cogsworth''': Can I help it if I'm t-t-tense? In a shack by the sea, I'll sit back, sipping tea Let my early retirement commence Far from fools made of wax, I'll get down to brass tacks and real-A-A-A-x! :'''Chorus''': When I'm human again! So sweep the dust from the floor / Let's let some light in the room / I can feel, I can tell someone might break the spell any day now / Shine up the brass on the door / Alert the dust pail and broom / If it all goes as planned our time may be at hand any day now :'''Fifi and the maids''': Open the shutters and let in some air :'''Mrs. Potts''': Put these here and put those over there :'''Chorus''': Sweep up the years, the sadness and tears and throw them away / We'll be human again, only human again / When the girl finally sets us all free / Cheeks a-blooming again, we're assuming again / We'll resume our long-lost joie de vivre / We'll be playing again, holidaying again / And we're praying it's ASAP / Little push, little shove / They could both fall in love / And we'll finally be human again... :''[Transition to the library]'' :'''Belle''': "...For there never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo." :'''Beast''': Could you read it again? :'''Belle''': Well, here. Why don't you read it to me? :'''Beast''': Uhhh...Alright. Hmm...I-I can't. :'''Belle''': You mean you never learned? :'''Beast''': I learned, a little. It's just been so long. :'''Belle''': Well here, I'll help you. Let's start...here. :'''Beast''': Here, twoe...? :'''Belle''': Two. :'''Beast''': Two, I knew that. Two households, both alike in dignity... :''[sung]'' :'''Chorus''': We'll be dancing again, we'll be twirling again / We'll whirling around with such ease / When we're human again, only human again / We'll go waltzing those old one-two-threes / We'll be floating again, we'll be gliding again /Stepping, striding, as fine as you please / Like a real human does, I'll be all that I was / On that glorious morn, when we're finally re-born / And we're all of us human again! ==CELINE DION & PEABO BRYSON lyrics (Beauty and the Beast)== :'''Celine Dion''': Ooh, ooh / Tale as old as time / True as it can be / Barely even friends / Then somebody bends / Unexpectedly :'''Peabo Bryson''': Just a little change / Small, to say the least / Both a little scared / Neither one prepared :'''Celine Dion & Peabo Bryson''': Beauty and the beast / Ever just the same / Ever a surprise / Ever as before / Ever just as sure / As the sun will rise :'''Peabo Bryson''': Whoa, whoa-oh, whoa, oh :'''Celine Dion''': Ohh, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh :'''Celine Dion & Peabo Bryson''': Ever just the same :'''Peabo Bryson''': Yeah / Ever a surprise :'''Celine Dion & Peabo Bryson''': Ever as before :'''Celine Dion''': Ever just as sure :'''Celine Dion & Peabo Bryson''': As the sun will rise :'''Peabo Bryson''': Oh, oh, oh :'''Celine Dion''': Tale as old as time :'''Peabo Bryson''': Ooh-ooh, ohh-ooh :'''Celine Dion''': Tune as old as song :'''Celine Dion & Peabo Bryson''': Bittersweet and strange / Finding you can change / Learning you were wrong :'''Peabo Bryson''': Certain as the sun :'''Celine Dion''': Certain as the sun :'''Peabo Bryson''': Rising in the east :'''Celine Dion''': Tale as old as time :'''Celine Dion & Peabo Bryson''': Song as old as rhyme / Beauty and the beast :'''Celine Dion''': Tale as old as time :'''Peabo Bryson''': Song as old as rhyme :'''Celine Dion & Peabo Bryson''': Beauty and the beast :'''Peabo Bryson''': Oh Oh, whoa-oh :'''Celine Dion''': Ooh / Beauty and the beast == About ''Beauty and the Beast (1991 film)'' == * Well, originally when we were planning the big elaborate dance sequence that would include a moving camera craning up to the ceiling on the characters that would really have more of a live action feel to them—there was always this nagging doubt in our minds that it wasn't going to work at all (laughs). We had sort of a back-up plan just in case, if none of this works we'll just turn off all the lights and Bella and the Beast will be dancing in a little spotlight in a darkened room like an ice skating show (laughs). Fortunately, when we got the first piece of test film back, it was amazingly breathtaking, made a big sigh of relief because we knew it was going to work. * We actually designed all the camera movement first and animated the characters to match that. * We created computer generated stand-ins, the ballroom was sort of a chicken-wire kind of thing and Bella & the Beast were represented by these box and egg sort of things. * You have to make all the same decisions that a live action director would have to make. Everything from where to put the camera to what the emotional tone of the scene is going to be, in addition to answering all the questions about costume design and weather and color and all the numerous elements that go into making the scene. We're there every step of the way from the very first crude character designs and early storyboards to how loud the footsteps of the Beast should be as he's walking across the marble floor. We shepherd the process from beginning to end. ** [[w:Kirk Wise|Kirk Wise]] [http://www.bigmoviezone.com/articles/index.html?uniq=84] == Cast (voices) == * [[w:Paige O'Hara|Paige O'Hara]] – B. la Belle the Beauty * [[w:Rex Everhart|Rex Everhart]] – Maurice * [[w:Robby Benson|Robby Benson]] – Master B. le Bête the Beast/Prince Adam * [[w:Richard White (actor)|Richard White]] – Gaston * [[w:Jerry Orbach|Jerry Orbach]] – Monsieur Lumière the Candelabra * [[w:David Ogden Stiers|David Ogden Stiers]] – Narrator, Sir Cogsworth the Clock * [[w:Angela Lansbury|Angela Lansbury]] – Mrs. Potts the Teapot * [[w:Mary Kay Bergman|Mary Kay Bergman]] – Claudette Bimbette, Laurette Bimbette * [[w:Kath Soucie|Kath Soucie]] – Paulette Bimbette * [[w:Jesse Corti|Jesse Corti]] – Monsieur LeFou * [[w:Bradley Pierce|Bradley Pierce]] – Chip Potts the Teacup * [[w:Kimmy Robertson|Kimmy Robertson]] – Fifi Plumette Featherduster * [[w:Hal Smith|Hal Smith]] – Philippe B. the Horse * [[w:Jack Angel|Jack Angel]] – Tavern Man, Tom * [[w:Philip Proctor|Phil Proctor]] – Dick * [[w:Bill Farmer|Bill Farmer]] – Stanley * [[w:Patrick Pinney|Patrick Pinney]] – Walter * Mickie McGowan – French Peasant Woman * Carole Jeghers – Woman holding the baby == External links == {{wikipedia|Beauty and the Beast (1991 film)}} * {{imdb title|id=0101414|title=Beauty and the Beast}} {{Disney's Beauty and the Beast}} {{Authority control}} [[Category:Beauty and the Beast (franchise)]] [[Category:1991 animated films]] [[Category:1991 American animated films]] [[Category:Traditionally animated films]] [[Category:American animated romance films]] [[Category:American children's animated musical films]] [[Category:American children's films]] [[Category:Gary Trousdale films]] [[Category:Kirk Wise films]] [[Category:Screenplays by Joe Ranft]] [[Category:United States National Film Registry films]] [[Category:Animated films about princesses]] [[Category:Animated films set in castles]] [[Category:Disney Princess films]] [[Category:Animated films about father–daughter relationships]] [[Category:Animated films about shapeshifting]] [[Category:Disney Renaissance]] [[Category:Films about animal rights]] [[Category:Best Original Song Academy Award winners]] [[Category:Best Original Score Academy Award winners]] [[Category:1990s English-language films]] [[Category:Films about princes]] [[Category:The Walt Disney Company]] s1tipnjcjipuf38ljz88q4l4moa6z2k 0 17289 3942205 3930204 2026-05-17T22:21:40Z ~2026-29765-69 3323783 /* Dialogue */ 3942205 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Cosplay of Claude Frollo from The Hunchback of Notre Dame at Japan Expo 2019 (48434803271).jpg|thumb|And he shall smite the wicked, and plunge them into the fiery pit!]] {{italic title}} '''''[[w:The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996 film)|The Hunchback of Notre Dame]]''''' is a [[w:1996 in film|1996]] Disney animated film loosely based on [[Victor Hugo]]'s classic [[The Hunchback of Notre Dame|novel of the same name]]. It's released by [[w:Walt Disney Animation Studios|Walt Disney Feature Animation]] and distributed by [[w:Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures|Buena Vista Pictures Distribution, Inc.]] :''Directed by [[w:Gary Trousdale|Gary Trousdale]] and [[w:Kirk Wise|Kirk Wise]]. Written by [[w:Tab Murphy|Tab Murphy]], [[w:Irene Mecchi|Irene Mecchi]], [[w:Bob Tzudiker|Bob Tzudiker]], [[w:Noni White|Noni White]] and [[w:Jonathan Roberts (writer)|Jonathan Roberts]]. Songs by [[w:Alan Menken|Alan Menken]] and [[w:Stephen Schwartz (composer)|Stephen Schwartz]]. Score Produced by Alan Menken.'' {{center|'''Join the Party June 21st!'''}} == Quasimodo == * If I picked a day to fly, oh, this would be it! The Festival of Fools! It will be fun. The jugglers, and music, and dancing... * Thanks for the encouragement. But you're all forgetting one big thing. ''['''Gargoyles:''' What?]'' My master, Frollo. * I'm sorry, master. I will never disobey you again. * At sunset, I ring the evening mass, and after that, I clean the cloisters, and then I ring the vespers, and-- ''[Esmerelda kisses him on the cheek]'' Whatever's good for you. * Look. I appreciate what you're all trying to do, but let's not fool ourselves. Ugliest face in all Paris, remember? I don't think I'm her type. * What? What am I supposed to do? Go out there and rescue the girl from the-from the jaws of death, and the whole town will cheer like I'm some kind of a hero?! She already has her knight in shining armor, and it's not me! ''[sighs]'' Frollo was right. Frollo was right about everything. I'm tired of trying to be something that I'm not. * We've done it, Esmeralda! We've beaten them back! Come and see! * ''[to Frollo; angrily]'' No! ''You'' listen! All my life, you've told me the world is a dark, cruel place! But now I see that the only thing dark and cruel about it is people like ''you!'' == Judge Claude Frollo == * Stanley Yelnats and his family must die! * I am a public official. I ''must'' go. But I don't enjoy a moment. Thieves and hustlers and the dregs of humankind, all mixed together in a shallow, drunken stupor. * You are forgiven. But remember, Quasimodo, ''this'' is your sanctuary. * ''[while watching Stanley Yelnats IV suffer]'' In a moment, captain. A lesson needs to be learned here. * Mark my words, Gypsy. You will pay for this insolence. * But, how? I... never mind! Get out, you idiot! I'll find her. I'll find her if I have to ''burn down all of Paris!'' * Burn it! ''['''Phoebus:''' What?!]'' Until it smolders. These people are traitors and must be made examples of. * The sentence for insubordination is death. Such a pity. You threw away a promising career. * Don't waste your arrows. Let the traitor rot in his watery grave! Find the girl! If you have to burn the city to the ground, so be it! * ''[after realizing that Esmeralda is still at large]'' I had the entire cathedral surrounded; guards at every door. There was no way she could've escaped... unless... * ''[suspicious about Phoebus]'' I think...you're ''hiding'' something. ''['''Quasimodo:''' Oh, no, Master. There's no-]'' You're not eating, boy. * YOU IDIOT!! THAT WASN'T KINDNESS, IT WAS CUNNING! SHE'S A GYPSY! GYPSIES AREN'T CAPABLE OF REAL LOVE! Think, boy! Think of your mother! ''[calms down]'' But what chance could a poor, misshapen child like you have against her heathen treachery? Well, never you mind, Quasimodo. She will be out of our lives soon enough. I will free you from her evil spell. She will torment you no longer. ''['''Quasimodo:''' What do you mean?]'' I know where her hideout is, and tomorrow at dawn, I attack with a thousand men. * The prisoner Esmeralda has been found guilty of the crime of witchcraft. The sentence: death! * Silence, you old fool! The hunchback and I have unfinished business to attend to. And this time, you will ''not'' interfere. * ''[upon realizing that Esmeralda had survived]'' She lives! * I should have known you'd risk your life to save that Gypsy witch, just as your own mother died trying to save you. * ''[last words]'' And [[w:God in Christianity|he]] shall smite the wicked, and ''plunge'' them into [[w:Hell|the fiery pit]]! == Hugo == * ''[post credits scene]'' (1996 version) Night, everybody! Woohoo! == [[w:The Hunchback of Notre Dame (soundtrack)|Lyrics]] == === [[w:Topsy Turvy (song)|Topsy Turvy]] === * Come one, come all <br /> Close the churches and the schools <br /> It's the day for breaking rules <br /> Come and join the Feast of Fools! * Every man's a king and every king's a clown <br /> Once again, it's topsy turvy day <br /> It's the day the devil in us gets released <br /> It's the day we mock the prig and shock the priest <br /> Everything is topsy turvy at the Feast of Fools! * Scurvy knaves are extra scurvy <br /> On the sixth of January <br /> All because it's topsy turvy day <br /> Come one, come all! * [[Now]]'s the [[time]] we crown the [[King]] of [[Fools]] <br /> You all [[remember]] last year's king? <br /> So make a [[face]] that's [[horrible]] and [[frightening]] <br /> Make a face as gruesome as a gargoyle's wing <br /> For the face that's [[ugliest]] will be the King of Fools! == Dialogue == :[A wipe to a dark night. The Yelnats Family are silently proceeding down the Seine, hoping to avoid detection.] :'''Clopin:''' Dark was the night if our tale was begun on the docks near Notre Dame...♫ :'''Stanley Yelnats III:''' We'll be here soon. :'''Stanley Yelnats II:''' Hope we don't get caught! :'''Tiffany Yelnats:''' You're overreacting! :'''Clopin:'''♪ ..The Yelnatses slid silently under the docks of notre dame...♫ :'''Boatman:''' Four gilders for safe passage into Paris. :[A arrow gets shot into the staff the boatman used for the boat, soldiers Surround the Yelnatses] :'''Clopin:'''♪..But a trap had been laid for the Yelnatses as they gazed up in fear and alarm. At a figure whose clutches were iron as much as the bells...♫ :'''Stanley Yelnats II:''' Judge Claude Frollo! :'''Clopin:'''♪ ..The bells of Notre Dame. Judge Claude Frollo longed to purge the world of vice and sin. And he saw corruption everywhere, except within.♫ :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''''' Bring these Yelnatses to the palace of justice. :'''Soldier:''''' ''[to Stanley Yelnats IV]'' You there! What're you hiding?! :'''Frollo:''''' Stolen goods, no doubt. Take them from them! :'''Clopin:''' They ran! :''[As the Yelnatses trying to escape with their "stolen goods", Judge Claude Frollo gives chase on his horse. First, Stanley Yelnats II couldn't keep up with the others as he got killed by Frollo and his horse. Stanley Yelnats IV manages to hop over the fence railing, but his mother and father have been caught and murdered by Frollo. Stanley Yelnats was catching his breath, but ran again when he saw Frollo coming. Finally, Frollo captured Stanley and murdered him.]'' :'''Frollo:''' ''[Cackles]'' Good horsey. :''[Snowball proudly looked at Frollo with an evil smile]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Victor:''' Well that's what you get for sleeping with your mouth open. :'''Hugo:''' Heh-heh, go scare a nun. Hey, Quasi, what's going on out there? A fight? A flogging? :'''Victor:''' A festival. :'''Hugo:''' You mean the Feast of Fools? :'''Quasimodo:''' '''Aha!''' :'''Hugo:''' Alright alright! Pour the wine and cut the cheese. :'''Victor:''' It is a treat to watch the colorful pageantry of the simple peasant folk. :'''Hugo:''' Boy, nothing like balcony seats for watching the old F.O.F. :'''Quasimodo:''' Yeah, watching. ''[Quasimodo leaves, downcast]'' :'''Hugo:''' Ah, look. A mime. ''[Hugo prepares to spit on the mime, Victor stops him and Hugo swallows]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[As Quasi nears it, Judge Claude Frollo appears in the doorway suddenly, cutting Quasi short and returning the gargoyles to stone.]'' :'''Frollo:''' Good morning, Quasimodo. :'''Quasimodo:''' Ahem, good morning, master. :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' Dear boy, whomever were you talking to? :'''Quasimodo:''' My friends. :'''Frollo:''' I see. ''[he taps Hugo on the head.]'' And what are your friends made of, Quasimodo? :'''Quasimodo:''' Stone. :'''Frollo:''' Can stone talk? :'''Quasimodo:''' No, it can't. :'''Frollo:''' That's right. You're a smart lad. Now, lunch. ''[upon hearing the word, Quasi goes off and retrieves a table setting a silver chalice and plate for Judge Claude Frollo and a wooden cup and plate for himself.]'' Shall we review your alphabet today? :'''Quasimodo:''' Oh, yes, Master. I would like that very much. :'''Frollo:''' Very well. A? :'''Quasimodo:''' Abomination. :'''Frollo:''' B? :'''Quasimodo:''' Blasphemy? :'''Frollo:''' C? :'''Quasimodo:''' C-C-Contrition. :'''Frollo:''' D? :'''Quasimodo:''' Damnation? :'''Frollo:''' E? :'''Quasimodo:''' Eternal damnation. :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' Good. F? :'''Quasimodo:''' Festival. :''[Frollo spits out his drink in shock at the absent-minded and incorrect response.]'' :'''Frollo:''' Excuse me? :'''Quasimodo:''' F-F-Forgiveness. :'''Frollo:''' You said...festival. :'''Quasimodo:''' No! :'''Frollo:''' You are thinking about going to the festival. :'''Quasimodo:''' It's just that...you go every year. :'''Frollo:''' I am a public official; I must go. But I don't enjoy a moment. Thieves and hustlers and the dregs of humankind, all mixed together in a shallow, drunken stupor. :'''Quasimodo:''' I didn't mean to upset you, master. :'''Frollo:''' Quasimodo, can't you understand? When your heartless mother abandoned you as a child, anyone else would drowned you. And this my thanks for taking you in and raising you as my son? :'''Quasimodo:''' ''[ashamed]'' I'm sorry, sir. :'''Frollo:''' Oh, my dear, Quasimodo, you don't know what it's like out there. I do. I do. ♪The world is cruel. The world is wicked. It's I alone whom you can trust in this whole city. I am your onllly friend. I who keep you, teach you, feed you, dress you! I who look upon you without fear. How can I protect boy. Unless you always stay in here. Away in here.♪ Remember, what I taught you, Quasimodo. ♪ You are deformed. 🎵 :'''Quasimodo:''' ♪ I am deformed. 🎵 :'''Frollo:''' ♪And you are ugly. 🎵 :'''Quasimodo:'''♪And I am ugly. 🎵 :'''Frollo:''' ♪And these are crimes for which the world shows little pity. You do not comprehend. 🎵 :'''Quasimodo:'''♪ You are my one defender. 🎵 :'''Frollo:'''♪Out there they'll revile as a monster. 🎵 :'''Quasimodo:''' ♪ I am a monster. 🎵 :'''Frollo:''' ♪Out there they will have and scorn and jeer. 🎵 :'''Quasimodo:'''♪Only a monster. 🎵 :'''Frollo:''' ♪Why invite their calumny, and consternation. Stay in here. Be faithful to me. 🎵 :'''Quasimodo:''' ♪I'm faithful. 🎵 :'''Frollo:''' ♪Grateful to me. 🎵 :'''Quasimodo:''' ♪I'm grateful. 🎵 :'''Frollo:''' ♪Do as I say. Obey. 🎵 :'''Frollo and Quasimodo:''' ♪And stay...in...'''''heeeere!!!''''' 🎵 :'''Quasimodo:''' You are good to me, master. I'm sorry. :'''Frollo:''' You are forgiven. But remember, Quasimodo, this is your sanctuary. :'''Quasimodo:''' My sanctuary... :''[Frollo leaves]'' :'''Quasimodo:''' [someone ad to this.] <hr width="50%"/> :'''Frollo''': You've come to Paris in her darkest hour, Captain. It will take a firm hand to save the weak-minded from being so easily misled. :'''Phoebus''': Misled, sir? :'''Judge Claude Frollo''': Look, Captain. Gypsies. The gypsies live outside normal order. Their heathen ways inflame the people's lowest instincts, and they must be stopped. :'''Phoebus''': I was summoned from the wars to capture fortune-tellers and palm-readers? :'''Frollo:''' Oh, the real war, Captain, is what you see before you. For 20 years, I have been taking care of the gypsies, One. By. One. ''[On each of the last three words, Judge Claude Frollo crushes one of three ants on a tile.]'' And yet, for all of my success, they have thrived! ''[He flips the tile over, revealing scores of ants scurrying around underneath.]'' I believe they have a safe haven, within the walls of this very city. A nest, if you will. They call it the Court of Miracles. :'''Phoebus:''' What are we going to do about it, sir? ''[Judge Claude Frollo slams the tile back down upside down, crushing the remainder of the ants.]'' You make your point quite vividly, sir. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Referring to Esmeralda, who's dancing at the festival.]'' :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' Look at that disgusting display. :'''Phoebus:''' ''[smitten by Esmeralda's beauty]'' Yes, sir! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Oafish Guard:''' You think he's ugly now? Watch this! ''[Throws a tomato at Quasimodo's face, everyone gasps]'' Now, that's ugly! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' You! ''[Points at Esmeralda]'' Gypsy girl! Get down at once! :'''Esmeralda:''' Yes, your honor. Just as soon as I free this poor creature. :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' I forbid it! :''[Esmeralda pulls out a knife and cuts the rope tying Quasimodo to the wheel]'' :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' How dare you defy me? :'''Esmeralda:''' You mistreat this poor boy the same way you mistreat my people! You speak of justice, yet you are cruel to those most in need of your help! :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' '''SILENCE!''' :'''Esmeralda:''' '''''JUSTICE!''''' :''[Everyone gasps, Esmeralda helps Quasimodo up]'' :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' Mark my words, Gypsy; You will pay for this insolence. :'''Esmeralda:''' Then it appears we've crowned the wrong fool. ''[picks up King of Fools' crown]'' The only fool I see is YOU! ''[throws it at Judge Claude Frollo's feet; Djali raspberries Judge Claude Frollo]'' :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' Captain Phoebus, arrest her. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' Find her, captain. I want her alive. :'''Phoebus:''' Yes, sir. Seat off the area, men! Find the gypsy girl, and do not harm her! :''[Frollo heads to Quasimodo on his horse and glares at him for his disgrace.]'' :'''Quasimodo:''' ''[sadly]'' I'm sorry, master. I will never disobey you again. ''[tearfully walks back into the Notre Dame]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Esmeralda:''' ''[takes Phoebus' sword]'' You! :'''Phoebus:''' Easy! Easy! I-I just shaved this morning. :'''Esmeralda:''' ''[points Phoebus' sword at his goatee]'' Oh, really? You missed a spot. :'''Phoebus:''' Alright, alright, just-just-just calm down. Just give me a chance to apologize. :'''Esmeralda:''' For what? :'''Phoebus:''' ''[takes back his sword, and side-sweeps Esmeralda]'' ''That,'' for example. :'''Esmeralda:''' ''[angrily]'' You sneaky son-of-a- :'''Phoebus:''' ''[interrupting]'' Ah-ah-ah, watch it. We're in a church. :'''Esmeralda:''' Are you always this charming, or am I just lucky? ''[uses candle-staff]'' :'''Phoebus:''' Ha-ha-ha-ha! Candlelight, privacy, music. Can't think of a better place for hand-to-hand combat. You fight almost as well as a man! :'''Esmeralda:''' Funny. I was going to say the same thing about ''you!'' :'''Phoebus:''' That's hitting a little below the belt, don't you think? :'''Esmeralda:''' No. ''This'' is. :''[Phoebus avoids getting hit in the groin, but gets hit in the mouth by the candle-staff]'' :'''Phoebus:''' ''[blubbers]'' ''Touché.'' ''[gets rammed in the stomach by Djali]'' Oof! I didn't know you had a kid. :'''Esmeralda:''' Well, he doesn't take to kindly to soldiers. :'''Phoebus:''' ''[painfully]'' Eh! I noticed. ''[normally]'' Permit me. I'm Phoebus. It means "Sun god." ''[Esmeralda and Djali look at each other, incredulously]'' And you are? :'''Esmeralda:''' Is this an interrogation? :'''Phoebus:''' ''[re-sheathes his sword]'' I believe it's called an introduction. :'''Esmeralda:''' You're not arresting me? :'''Phoebus:''' Not as long as you're in here. I can't. :'''Esmeralda:''' Huh. You're not at all like the other soldiers. ''[puts down the candle staff]'' :'''Phoebus:''' Thank you. :'''Esmeralda:''' So, if you're not going to arrest me, what do you want? :'''Phoebus:''' I'd settle for your name. :'''Esmeralda:''' ''[smiling]'' Esmeralda. :'''Phoebus:''' Beautiful. Much better than Phoebus, anyway. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Esmeralda opens the church door to see soldiers outside.]'' :'''Solder:''' Frollo's orders: Post a guard at every door. :''[Esmeralda slams the door in anger.]'' :'''Esmeralda:''' Don't worry, Djali. If Frollo thinks he can keep us here, he's wrong. :'''Archdeacon:''' Don't act rashly, my child. You created...quite a stir at the festival. It would be unwise to arouse Frollo's anger further. :'''Esmeralda:''' You saw what he did out there; letting the crowd torture that poor boy. I thought if just ''one'' person could stand up to him, then- ''[sighs]'' What do they have against people who are different, anyway? :'''Archdeacon:''' You can't right all of the wrongs of this world by yourself. :'''Esmeralda:''' Well, no one out there is going to help; that's for sure. :'''Archdeacon:''' Well, perhaps there's someone in here who can. <hr width="50%'/> :''[Esmeralda finishes singing "God Help the Outcasts" in the center of the light from the window. Quasimodo smiles, but he is unexpectedly spotted by a Parishioner, thinking he's going to cause trouble.]'' :'''Parishioner:''' You! Bell Ringer! What are you doing down here? ''[Quasimodo is startled by the Parishioner and accidentally knocks down a candle-staff. Esmeralda and Djali see this, and are shocked at the Parishioner's actions]'' Haven't you caused enough trouble already? :''[Quasimodo retreats back to the bell tower with Esmeralda and Djali following him from behind, while the Parishioner is scolded by the Archdeacon for making a scene.]'' :'''Esmeralda:''' Wait! I want to talk to you. :''[Quasimodo comes out of the top of the staircase with Esmeralda and Djali behind him and the Gargoyles watch them from above.]'' :'''Laverne:''' Look! He's got a friend with him. :'''Hugo:''' Yeah! Maybe today wasn't a total loss after all. :'''Victor:''' A vision of loveliness. :'''Hugo:''' The one in the dress ain't bad either. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Victor:''' You mustn't run too fast, or she'll get away. :'''Quasimodo:''' I know, uh, that's what I... :'''Hugo:''' Just give her some slack, then reel her in! Then give her some slack, then reel her in! Then give her some slack- ''[Laverne hits him on the head]'' :'''Laverne:''' Knock it off, Hugo! She's a girl, not a mackerel. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Esmeralda:''' ''[to Quasimodo]'' And a Gypsy. And maybe Frollo's wrong about the both of us. :''[Unbeknownst to them, the gargoyles are eavesdropping.]'' :'''Hugo:''' What did she say? :'''Laverne''': Frollo's nose is long and wears a truss. :'''Hugo:''' Ha! Told ya! Pay up! :'''Victor:''' Oh, dear. ''[Gives Hugo a coin]'' :'''Hugo:''' Chump. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Quasimodo had just driven Phoebus out of the Cathedral.]'' :'''Hugo:''' Hey-hey! There he is! ''[the gargoyles applaud and cheer Quasimodo]'' :'''Victor:''' Oh, wonderful! Bravo, bravissimo! You ejected that tin-plated buffoon with great panache! :'''Hugo:''' The nerve of him! Snoopin' around here trying to steal your girl. :'''Quasimodo:''' My girl? :'''Laverne:''' Esmeralda. Dark hair, works with a goat. Remember? :'''Hugo:''' Boy, I do. Way to go, lover boy! :'''Quasimodo:''' ''[chuckles]'' Lover boy? Oh, no, no. :'''Laverne:''' Oh, don't be so modest. :'''Quasimodo:''' Look, I appreciate what you're all trying to do. But let's not fool ourselves. Ugliest face in all Paris, remember? I don't think I'm her type. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Phoebus:''' Good morning, sir. ''[notices Judge Claude Frollo looking a little pale]'' Are you feeling all right? :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' ''[after seeing visions of Esmeralda in his fire all night]'' I had a little...trouble with the fireplace. :'''Phoebus:''' I see. Your orders, sir? :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' Find the Gypsy girl. :''[Cut to a bakery. The soldiers kick the door down, and the baker turns in surprise just as he is baking some bread. One soldier throws a shelf complete with it down to the floor. Two more move a barrel while a third removes a rug to reveal a trapdoor. He opens it to reveal a group of gypsies underneath. They are led outside in chains while Judge Claude Frollo holds out a handful of coins in exchange of Esmeralda's whereabouts]'' :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' Ten pieces of silver for the gypsy Esmeralda. :''[The gypsies stay silent, not about to sell out one of their own]'' :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' ''[taking the coins in his hand]'' Lock them up. :''[Cut to a gypsy wagon on the banks of the Seine. The soldiers push it into the water and the gypsies therein come out, gasping for air. Judge Claude Frollo now holds out twice the amount of coins as before, hoping they will warn him where Esmeralda is]'' :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' ''[trying to keep his cool]'' Twenty pieces of silver for the gypsy, Esmeralda. :''[Just like the previous gypsies, these ones are not about to betray a fellow gypsy either. Judge Claude Frollo grows even more furious]'' :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' Take them away! :''[Phoebus heaves a furious sigh to himself. He is beginning to question his commanding officer's sense of justice. Cut to a miller's farm. Esmeralda and Djali, in their old beggar disguise, walks among a crowd gathered before the scene. The entire lot of them are worried about the miller's welfare and Judge Claude Frollo's sanity, or lack thereof]'' :'''Woman:''' Poor Miller. He's never harmed anyone! :'''Man:''' Frollo's gone mad. :''[Inside, Judge Claude Frollo is interrogating the miller, who is pleading for mercy with him]'' :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' We found this gypsy talisman on your property. Have you been harboring gypsies? :'''Miller:''' Our home is always open to the weary traveler. Have mercy, my Lord. :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' I am placing you and your family under house arrest until I get to the bottom of this. If you what you say is true and you are innocent, then you have nothing to fear. :''[Judge Claude Frollo turns to leave, but the miller yet begs to be spared]'' :'''Miller:''' But we are innocent. I assure you, we know nothing of these gypsies. :''[Judge Claude Frollo locks a miller and his family inside their home]'' :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' Burn it. :'''Phoebus:''' ''[shocked]'' What? :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' Until it smolders. ''[holds torch]'' These people are traitors and must be made examples of. :'''Phoebus:''' ''[takes torch]'' With all due respect sir, I was not trained to murder the innocent. :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' But you ''were'' trained to follow orders. ''[Phoebus douses the torch in a barrel of water.]'' Insolent coward. :''[Judge Claude Frollo takes a torch from another soldier and sets fire to the windmill which then sets the house ablaze. Phoebus sees one of the blades falling towards him and rolls out of the road. Then he hears the cries of the miller's wife and children, and dives in through the window. Esmeralda, who is watching the entire fact, becomes shocked, but he kicks down the door, carrying the child and baby, and the miller's family escapes unharmed. The miller takes the older child, and Phoebus hands his wife the baby. Mournfully, soon after, the Brutish Guard brains him with the hilt of his sword and he falls to the ground. The Oafish Guard picks him up. Then Judge Claude Frollo goes over to address the turncoat captain]'' :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' The sentence for insubordination of death. Such a pity. You threw away a promising career. :'''Phoebus:''' Consider it my highest honor, sir. :''[Esmeralda, taking care not to be seen, takes her sarong and fashions it into a makeshift slingshot. Just as the Brutish Guard is about to execute Phoebus, she throws a stone at Judge Claude Frollo's horse. It rears in pain, and bucks him away. Phoebus takes this opportunity to knock the Brutish Guard and Oafish Guard out. Then the frightened horse runs away, but Phoebus manages to mount it]'' :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' Get him! And don't hit my horse! :''[The archer guards shoot their arrows at Phoebus. Most of them narrowly miss him, one manages to strike him in the back. He moans in pain, and Esmeralda looks horrified. Then he falls into the river, and the archers continue to shoot at the spot where he fell while she stealthily clings to the bridge]'' :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' ''[raising his hand]'' Don't waste your arrows! Let the traitor rot in his watery grave. :''[Esmeralda takes off her cloak and continues to watch Judge Claude Frollo and the guards, worried that she is partially to blame for the city's burning]'' :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' Find the girl. If you have to burn the city to the ground, so be it! :''[Esmeralda watches as Judge Claude Frollo and his entourage walk away. The moment he is out of sight, she dives into the river and fishes an unconscious and unarmored Phoebus out, dragging him to shore. Fade to the city streets in front of Notre Dame. Judge Claude Frollo and the soldiers have concluded their search, but have seen neither hide nor hair of Esmeralda or Djali]'' :'''Brutish Guard:''' Sir, we've looked everywhere, and yet no sign of the gypsy girl. :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' ''[to himself]'' I had the whole cathedral surrounded. Guards at every door. There was no way she could have escaped. ''[suddenly turns toward the sound of bells]'' Unless... :''[Paris is in flames while Judge Claude Frollo and the guards are searching for Esmeralda. In the bell tower, Victor and Laverne are upset, looking out.]'' :'''Laverne:''' Oh, it doesn't look good. :'''Victor:''' It's hopeless. Absolutely hopeless. :'''Hugo:''' ''[playing cards with a pigeon, not paying attention]'' You're warning me! I'm losing to a ''bird!'' :'''Victor:''' Oh, that poor gypsy girl. I'm beginning to fear the worst. :'''Laverne:''' I know. But now don't you say anything to upset Quasimodo. He's concerned enough already. :'''Hugo:''' Yes, you're right. We better lighten up. :''[At that moment, Quasimodo walks in]'' :'''Victor:''' Shh-shh-shh, here he comes. :'''Laverne:''' Now just stay calm. :'''Victor:''' Not a word. :'''Hugo:''' Easy does it. :'''Victor:''' Stone-faced. :'''Quasimodo:''' ''[walks to the edge]'' Any sign of her? :''[Victor, who has been trying to keep a straight face, suddenly begins to tremble and attempts to keep his head]'' :'''Victor:''' ''[cracks under pressure]'' Oh, it's a lost cause! She could be anywhere! In the stocks, in the dungeon, on the rack! Oh, God! ''[breaks down]'' :'''Laverne:''' Nice work, Victor. :'''Quasimodo:''' No, he's right. What are we gonna do? :'''Hugo:''' ''[shuffling his cards]'' What are you guys speaking about? ''[draws a Queen, three and Joker card respectively as he speaks]'' If I know Esmeralda, she's three steps ahead of Judge Claude Frollo and well out of harm's road. :'''Quasimodo:''' Do you really think so? :'''Hugo:''' ''[takes a bit of bread and a cheese wedge from a plate]'' Hey, if things cool off, she'll be back. You'll see. :'''Quasimodo:''' What makes you so sure? :'''Laverne:''' Because she likes you. ''[to Quasimodo]'' We always said you were the cute one. :'''Hugo:''' ''[stuffing his mouth with cheese and bread]'' I thought ''I'' was the cute one. :'''Laverne:''' No, ''you're'' the fat, foolish one with the big mouth. :'''Hugo:''' ''[looks confused, yet with his mouth complete]'' What are you saying, exactly? :'''Laverne:''' Take it from us, Quasi. You have nothing to concern about. :'''Hugo:''' ''[now holding two hot dogs]'' Yeah. You're irresistible. :'''Victor:''' ''[chuckles]'' Knights in shining armor certainly aren't your type. :'''Hugo:''' ''[sticks a hot dog on a fork and jumps over to the window]'' And these guys are a dime a dozen. But you, you're one of a kind. Look. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Phoebus:''' ''[weakly]'' Esmeralda? :'''Esmeralda:''' Shh. Shh. Shh. You'll hide here until you're strong enough to move. ''[takes out a bottle of wine]'' :'''Phoebus:''' Great. I could use a drink. ''[Esmeralda carefully pours it over his wound]'' Agh! Yes, hmmm. Feels like a 1470 Burgundy. Not a good year. :'''Esmeralda:''' ''[starts stitching up Phoebus' wound]'' That family owes you their lives. You've got to be either the single bravest soldier I've ever seen, or the craziest. :'''Phoebus:''' ''Ex''-soldier, remember? ''[winces in pain]'' Why is it, whenever we meet, I end up bleeding? :'''Esmeralda:''' ''[finishes up]'' You're lucky. That arrow almost pierced your heart. :'''Phoebus:''' ''[holds her hand]'' I'm not so sure it didn't. ''[he and Esmeralda kiss, leaving Quasimodo heartbroken]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[after Esmeralda and Djali leave to the Cathedral. The Gargoyles come back to life]'' :'''Laverne''': Quick, we gotta stash the stiff! :''[They hurriedly drag Phoebus' body off the bed and underneath the tablewith Quasimodo's models on it. He hurriedly tries to set his modelsstraight as Frollo enters. He feigns surprise]'' :'''Quasimodo''': Oh, master, I didn't think you'd be coming-- :'''Judge Claude Frollo''': I'm never too busy to share a meal with you, dear boy. I brought a little treat. ''[as he clears his throat slightly, and Quasimodo realises he hasn't set the table. He rushes off to grab the dishes, and is obviously flustered, dropping and breaking things]'' Is there something troubling you, Quasimodo? :'''Quasimodo''': No. No! :'''Judge Claude Frollo''': Oh, but there is. I know there is. ''[as he has pulled out a bunch of grapes. One falls to the floor, near Phoebus. Quasimodo cautiously picks it up]'' I think... you're hiding something. :'''Quasimodo''': Oh, no, master. There's nothing-- :'''Judge Claude Frollo''': You're not eating, boy. :'''Quasimodo''': ''[as he quickly gobbles a handful of grapes and mumbling through the food]'' It's very good. Thank you. :''[Phoebus moans. Quasimodo moans similarly, indicating he enjoys the food. Phoebus sighs louder. Quasimodo kicks him, knocking him out, then pretends to cough to cover up the noise]'' :'''Quasimodo''': Seeds. :'''Judge Claude Frollo''': ''[looking at the models]'' What's different in here? :'''Quasimodo''': Nothing, sir. :'''Judge Claude Frollo''': Isn't this one new? ''[picks up the wooden doll of Esmerelda]'' It's awfully good. Looks very much like the... gypsy girl. I know... ''[a nasty look creeps across his face as his voice rises and loses control of his temper, outraged and yelling at Quasimodo]'' '''you helped her''' '''''<span style=color:red;>ESCAPE!</span>''''' :'''Quasimodo''': But I... :'''Judge Claude Frollo''': And now all Paris is burning, '''''BECAUSE OF YOU!''''' :'''Quasimodo''': She was kind to me, master. :'''Judge Claude Frollo''': ''[destroying all of Quasimodo's wooden figures with the table]'' '''''<span style=color:red;>YOU IDIOT!!! THAT WASN'T KIDNESS, IT WAS CUNNING, SHE'S A GYPSY!</span>''''' ''[pulling Quasimodo by the collar]'' '''''<span style=color:red;>GYPSIES ARE NOT CAPABLE OF REAL LOVE!</span>''''' ''[shaking Quasimodo]'' '''''<span style=color:red;>THINK, BOY! THINK OF YOUR MOTHER!</span>''''' ''[as he takes a moment to recompose himself to calm down and gently talk to Quasimodo]'' But what chance could a poor, misshapen child like you have against her heathen treachery? ''[He plunges his knife on the doll and holds it up to the candle, setting it on fire with explosives]'' Well, never you mind, Quasimodo. She'll be out of our lives soon enough. I will free you from her evil spell, She will torment you no longer. :'''Quasimodo''': What do you mean? :'''Judge Claude Frollo''': I know where her hideout is. And tomorrow, at dawn, I attack with a thousand men. ''[grins evilly as part of his trick as he leaves]'' :'''Phoebus''': ''[upon realising that Judge Claude Frollo knows where Esmeralda is hiding and that he will attack, Quasimodo feels as though he should help. Phoebus groans from under the table from which he was hidden from Judge Claude Frollo. Once Judge Claude Frollo leaves, he gets out]'' We have to find the Court of Miracles before daybreak. If Frollo gets there first... ''[starts walking, but Quasimodo does not follow; he just looks at Phoebus with the saddened realisation that Esmeralda loves Phoebus, not him; Phoebus turns to him]'' Are you coming with me? :'''Quasimodo''': ''[looks down, still saddened]'' I can't. :'''Phoebus''': [as Quasimodo gets to his feet] I thought you were Esmeralda's friend! :'''Quasimodo''': ''[frowns]'' Frollo's my master. I ''can't'' disobey him again. ''[grabs his shoulders and turns his back on Phoebus]'' :'''Phoebus''': She stood up for you! You've got a funny way of showing gratitude. :''[Quasimodo does not respond; Phoebus stares disapprovingly at him as he grabs his left arm]'' :'''Phoebus''': Well, I'm not going to sit by and watch Frollo massacre innocent people. [walks to the stairs and looks back to Quasimodo] You do what you think is right. ''[leaves; Quasimodo remains silent, then turns to see Victor, Hugo and Laverne shooting him disappointed looks]'' :'''Quasimodo''': ''[shrugs]'' What? What am I supposed to do? ''[frustrated and sarcastic tone, in an arm-flailing manner]'' Go out there and rescue the girl from the-- from the Laws of Death, and the ''whole town'' will cheer like I'm some kind of a ''hero?!'' She already ''has'' her knight on shining armour, and it's not me! ''[sighs]'' Frollo was right. ''[shrugs]'' Frollo was right about everything. ''[looks down]'' And I'm ''tired'' of trying to be something that I'm not. :''[Quasimodo upon looking down, he catches a glimpse of his left hand; recalls what Esmeralda told him about not having "monster lines," then looks down at the smouldering wooden figure of Esmeralda that Frollo burned earlier; pulls out the amulet Esmeralda gave him and stares ahead with hope and realisation; Laverne taps his shoulder and offers his hooded cloak]'' :'''Quasimodo''': ''[whispering as he hesitantly grabs his cloak and hurries away to catch up with Phoebus]'' I must be out of my mind. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Quasimodo:''' Is this the Court of Miracles? :'''Phoebus:''' Offhand, I'd say it's the Court of Ankle-Deep Sewage. Cheerful place. ''[chuckles]'' Kinda makes ya wish ya got out more often eh, Quasi? :'''Quasimodo:''' Not me. I just want to warn Esmeralda and get back to the bell tower before I get in more trouble. :'''Phoebus:''' Speaking of trouble, we should have run into some by now. :'''Quasimodo:''' What do you mean? :'''Phoebus:''' You know, a guard, a booby trap. ''[his torch is blown out]'' Or an ambush. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Esmeralda:''' ''[stopping Clopin as he is about to hang Quasimodo and Phoebus, thinking they're Judge Claude Frollo's spies]'' '''''STOP!''''' :'''Quasimodo and Phoebus:''' ''[muffled]'' Esmeralda! :'''Esmeralda:''' ''[untying Quasimodo and Phoebus]'' These men aren't spies, they're our friends! :'''Clopin:''' ''[confused]'' Why didn't they say so? :'''Quasimodo and Phoebus:''' ''[annoyed]'' We '''''did''''' say so! :'''Esmeralda:''' This is the soldier who saved the Miller's family, and Quasimodo helped me escape the cathedral. :'''Phoebus:''' We came to warn you! Frollo's coming! He says he know where you're hiding, and he's attacking at dawn with a thousand men! :'''Esmeralda:''' Then let's waste no time. We must leave immediately. ''[the Gypsies hurry to escape]'' You took a terrible risk coming here. It may not exactly show, but we're grateful. :'''Phoebus:''' ''[sees Quasimodo sad seeing Esmeralda hug Phoebus: to Esmeralda]'' Don't thank me, thank Quasimodo. Without his help, we would never have found our way here. :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' ''[off-screen]'' Nor would I. :''[Everyone turns to see Judge Claude Frollo with a large group of soldiers who immediately storm the court. The gypsies try to run, but are stopped at every turn. Eventually, the soldiers surround them]'' :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' After 20 years of searching, the Court of Miracles is mine at last. ''[pats a shocked Quasimodo]'' Dear Quasimodo, I always knew you would someday be of use to me. :'''Quasimodo:''' No. :'''Esmeralda:''' What are you talking about? :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' Why, he led me right to, my dear. :'''Esmeralda:''' ''[frustratingly]'' You're a liar. :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' And look what else I've caught in my net. Captain Phoebus, back from the dead. Another "miracle", no doubt. I shall remedy that. ''[Judge Claude Frollo goes to address the gypsies]'' There'll be a little bonfire in the square tomorrow, and you're all invited to attend. Lock them up. :'''Quasimodo:''' ''[grabs Judge Claude Frollo's robe and begs his master to reconsider]'' No, please, Master! ''[Judge Claude Frollo just frowns at him, and he falls to the floor in disgrace]'' No, no. :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' Take him back to the bell tower. And make sure he stays there. :''[The soldiers drag Quasimodo back to the bell tower]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' ''[To Esmeralda]'' The time has come, gypsy. You stand upon the brink of the abyss. Yet even now, it is not too late. I can save you from the flames of this world, and the next. Choose me, or the fire. ''[she spits in his face in refusal]'' The Gypsy, Esmeralda, has refused to recant! This evil witch has put the souls of every citizen in Paris in awful jeopardy! :''[Quasimodo is chained up, and the gargoyles are trying to snap him out of his depression]'' :'''Hugo:''' Come on, Quasi, snap out of it. :'''Victor:''' Your friends are down there. :'''Quasimodo:''' It's all my fault. :'''Laverne:''' Ya gotta break these chains! :'''Quasimodo:''' I can't. I tried. What difference would it make? :'''Victor:''' But you can't let Frollo win. :'''Quasimodo:''' He already has. :'''Hugo:''' So, you're-- You're givin' up? That's it? :'''Laverne''': These chains aren't what's holdin' you back, Quasimodo. :'''Quasimodo:''' Leave me alone. :''[All the gargoyles are shocked, and they slowly begin to stone-walk away]'' :'''Hugo''': Okay. Okay, Quasi. We'll leave ya alone. :'''Victor''': After all, we're only made out of stone. :'''Laverne''': We just thought maybe you were made of something stronger. :''[The gargoyles then turn to stone, leaving Quasimodo with the line "Made of something stronger."]'' :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' For justice, for Paris, and for her own salvation, it is my sacred duty to send this unholy demon back where she came from! ''[lights the pyre and the crowd yells in protest against having Esmeralda die in fire]'' :'''Quasimodo:''' ''[bellowing]'' '''''<span style=color:red;>NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!</span>''''' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Archdeacon:''' ''[sternly]'' Frollo, have you gone mad?! I will not tolerate this assault on the House of God! :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' Silence, you old fool! ''[tosses the Archdeacon aside]'' The Hunchback and I have unfinished business to attend to. And this time, you will ''not'' interfere. ''[closes and locks door]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Quasimodo:''' ''[to Esmeralda]'' We've done it, Esmeralda; We've beaten them back! Come and see! ''[Esmeralda doesn't respond]'' Esmeralda, wake up. You're safe now. ''[worried]'' Esmeralda? ''[shocked]'' Oh, no. ''[tries giving Esmeralda water, but she doesn't wake up]'' ''[tearfully]'' Oh, no. :''[Laverne closes the door and the Gargoyles leave to give Quasimodo an emotional moment as he cries, thinking Esmeralda died. Judge Claude Frollo, however, steps in, with a dagger behind his back and touches Quasimodo on his hump]'' :'''Quasimodo:''' ''[whispers angrily]'' You killed her. :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' It was my duty. Horrible as it was, I hope you'll can forgive me. ''[Quasimodo hyperventilates]'' There, there, Quasimodo. I know it hurts. But now, the time has come to end your suffering...'''''forever.''''' :''[as Judge Claude Frollo draws a dagger, and trying to kill him, Quasimodo notices his shadow and gasps in horror, so he grabs Judge Claude Frollo's right arm, and after a struggle, Quasimodo manages to snatch the dagger and bravely corners Judge Claude Frollo, angrily hyperventilating]'' :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' ''[nervously as Quasimodo advances on him]'' Now, now... Listen to me, Quasimodo. :'''Quasimodo:''' ''[about to yelling at Judge Claude Frollo]'' '''NO! ''YOU'' LISTEN! All my life, you have told me the world is a dark, cruel place. But now I see that the only thing dark''' ''[throws the dagger to the floor]'' '''and cruel about it is people like''' '''''YOU!''''' :'''Esmeralda:''' ''[off screen, weakly]'' Quasimodo? :'''Quasimodo:''' ''[relieved as he turns and sees Esmeralda is alive with the bed]'' Esmeralda! :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' ''[upon realizing that Esmeralda had survived, and he was enraged]'' She lives. ''[draws his sword]'' :'''Quasimodo:''' '''''NO!''''' ''[as he grabs Esmeralda and runs out onto the balcony. Judge Claude Frollo follows, but when he gets outside, he sees nothing but gargoyles (including) Pumbaa the Warthog with a statue of the gargoyle). After looking left and right, he looks out over the edge and finds Quasimodo hanging there with Esmeralda]'' :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' Leaving so soon? ''[swings his sword, but Quasimodo dodges the blow by swinging to another spot, and misses. Down on the ground, the villagers and guards stop the fight to watch]'' :'''Villager:''' ''[points to Quasimodo, Esmeralda and Judge Claude Frollo fighting to the final battle at the balcony of the Cathedral]'' Look! Up there! :''[Judge Claude Frollo goes to swings his sword again]'' :'''Quasimodo:''' Hang out! ''[as he swings off again, just narrowly missing Judge Claude Frollo's sword. Finally, Judge Claude Frollo is about to kill Esmeralda, but Quasimodo pushes her out of the way]'' :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' I should have known you'd risk your life to save that gypsy witch! Just as your own mother died trying to save you. :'''Quasimodo:''' ''[realizes what Judge Claude Frollo's saying about his mother's death; shocked and horrified]'' What? :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' Now, I'm going to do what I should have done... '''''20 YEARS AGO!''''' ''[furiously throws his cape over Quasimodo's face and tries to throw him down]'' :'''Quasimodo:''' Ohh! Ugh! :''[And at the same time, Judge Claude Frollo also falls]'' :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' Whoaaaaa! Oh! :''[But Quasimodo holds Judge Claude Frollo's cape, and Esmeralda grabs Quasimodo. Judge Claude Frollo sees a gargoyle and swings to it and grabs it]'' :'''Esmeralda:''' ''[grunting]'' Hold on. Hold on. :''[Quasimodo loses consciousness and drops Judge Claude Frollo's cape, as Judge Claude Frollo stands on top of the gargoyle and laughs evilly. He raises his sword, and trying to kill her]'' :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' ''[His last words before his death]'' '''''And he shall smite the wicked, and plunge them into the fiery pit!''''' :''[The gargoyle Judge Claude Frollo's standing on starts to collapse beneath him, and he drops his sword and grabs the gargoyle as it comes alive (the Cathedral was observing Judge Claude Frollo's action for 2 decades and finally had enough of him) and angrily roars thunderously at his face]'' :'''Lion:''' '''Roarrrrr!''' :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' '''''NOOOOOOO!''''' :''[And he screams in horror as he falls into a sea of molten copper below along with the gargoyle still roaring at him]'' :'''Judge Claude Frollo:''' (screams) '''''Whoa-a! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!''''' :''[Finally killing him for good and ending his tyranny once and for all]'' :'''Esmeralda:''' ''[losing her grip]'' Quasimodo. Quasi-- ''[drops Quasimodo]'' '''''NOOOOOO!''''' :''[Phoebus catches Quasimodo, saving his life.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[after Quasimodo has saved all of Paris from Judge Claude Frollo’s tyranny]'' :'''Clopin:''' '''''THREE CHEERS OF QUASIMODO!!!''''' :''[the crowd cheers]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[before closing credits]'' :'''Laverne:''' ''[annoyed with the birds landing on her]'' Don't you ever migrate?! <hr width="50%"/> :''[Bonus post-credits scene at the railing of the Notre Dame Cathedral, when Hugo the Gargoyle waves and breaks the fourth wall, directly to the audience]'' :'''Hugo:''' Goodnight, Paris! Goodnight, everybody! Ya-Wah-ha-hoo! == Cast == * [[w:Tom Hulce|Tom Hulce]] — Quasimodo * [[Demi Moore]] — Esmeralda * Heidi Mollenhaur - Esmeralda (singing) * [[w:Tony Jay|Tony Jay]] — Judge Claude Frollo * [[Kevin Kline]] — Captain Phoebus * [[w:Paul Kandel|Paul Kandel]] — Clopin * [[w:Jason Alexander|Jason Alexander]] — Hugo * [[w:Charles Kimbrough|Charles Kimbrough]] — Victor * [[w:Mary Wickes|Mary Wickes]] — Laverne (final role) * [[w:David Ogden Stiers|David Ogden Stiers]] — Archdeacon * [[w:Mary Kay Bergman|Mary Kay Bergman]] -Quasimodo's mother * [[Frank Welker]] - Djali the Goat * [[w:Jim Cummings|Jim Cummings]] - Guards == External links == {{wikipedia|The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996 film)}} * {{imdb title|id=0116583|title=The Hunchback of Notre Dame}} {{Authority control}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Hunchback of Notre Dame, The}} [[Category:1996 animated films]] [[Category:1990s American animated films]] [[Category:Traditionally animated films]] [[Category:American films]] [[Category:American children's animated musical films]] [[Category:Romance films]] [[Category:Films about death]] [[Category:Gary Trousdale films]] [[Category:Kirk Wise films]] [[Category:Films about disability]] [[Category:Films set in the Middle Ages]] [[Category:Disney Renaissance]] [[Category:1990s English-language films]] 3drlv1mlvcm1y10d6ypnt97d5c9l5h2 0 19916 3942110 3937734 2026-05-17T17:47:52Z ~2026-29467-98 3323631 /* Taglines */ 3942110 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Cinderella (1950 film)|Cinderella]]''''' is a [[w:1950 in film|1950]] American animated film with [[w:Minnie Mouse|Minnie Mouse]] and [[w:Pinocchio (1940 film)|Figaro]] from [[w:Walt Disney Animation Studios|Walt Disney Productions]]. The film concerns a girl named Cinderella whose cruel stepmother, Lady Tremaine, prevents her from attending the Royal Ball, but who gets some unexpected help from two lovable mice named Jaq and Gus and her Fairy Godmother. :''Directed by [[w:Clyde Geronimi|Clyde Geronimi]], [[w:Wilfred Jackson|Wilfred Jackson]] and [[w:Hamilton Luske|Hamilton Luske]]. Written by [[w:Ken Anderson|Ken Anderson]], [[w:Homer Brightman|Homer Brightman]], [[w:Winston Hibler|Winston Hibler]], [[w:Bill Peet|Bill Peet]], [[w:Erdman Penner|Erdman Penner]], [[Charles Perrault]], [[w:Harry Reeves|Harry Reeves]], [[w:Joe Rinaldi|Joe Rinaldi]] and [[w:Ted Sears|Ted Sears]].'' {{center|'''The greatest love story ever told.''' <small>[[#Taglines|Taglines]]</small>}} ==Cinderella== *''[singing]'' A dream is a wish your heart makes<br>When you're fast asleep.<br>In dreams you will lose your heartaches.<br>Whatever you wish for, you keep.<br>Have faith in your dreams, and someday<br>Your rainbow will come smiling through.<br>No matter how your heart is grieving,<br>If you keep on believing,<br>The dreams that you wish will come true. * No, I mean it. Lucifer has his good points, too. For one thing, he...Well, sometimes he...Hmmm. There must be something good about him. * No, please! ''[Lady Tremaine locks the door, thus Cinderella is left trying to pull the door handle in vain.]'' Oh, you can't do this, you just can't... Let me out! You must let me out! '''YOU CAN'T KEEP ME IN HERE!''' ''[cries desperately]'' Oh, please... ==Anastasia Tremaine== * Are you going to get it? * We have to get dressed! * Maybe if I wasn't so clumsy and so plain. == Dialogue == :''[Opening Titles and Credits: <br>CINDERELLA <br>From the Original Classic by CHARLES PERRAULT <br>COLOR BY TECHNICOLOR]'' :'''The Chorus''': ''Cinderella'' :''You're as lovely as your name'' :''Cinderella'' :''You're a sunset in a frame'' :'''The Female Soloist''': ''Though you're dressed in rags'' :''You wear an air of queenly grace'' :''Anyone can see'' : ''A throne would be your proper place'' :'''The Chorus''': Cinderella :''If you give your heart a chance'' :''It will lead you'' :''To the kingdom of romance'' :''There you'll see your dreams unfold'' :''Cinderella, Cinderella'' :''In the sweetest story ever told...'' :''[The song's main title theme]'' :''[First lines]'' :'''The Narrator''': Once upon a time in a faraway land, there was a tiny kingdom - peaceful, prosperous, and rich in romance and tradition. Here in a stately chateau, there lived a widowed gentleman and his little daughter, Cinderella. Although he was a kind and devoted father, and gave his beloved child every luxury and comfort, still he felt she needed a mother's care. And so he married again, choosing for his second wife a woman of good family with two daughters just Cinderella's age, by name Anastasia and Drizella. It was upon the untimely death of this good man, however, that the stepmother's true nature was revealed. Cold, cruel, and bitterly jealous of Cinderella's charm and beauty, she was grimly determined to forward the interests of her own two awkward daughters. Thus, as time went by, the chateau fell into disrepair, for the family fortunes were squandered upon the vain and selfish stepsisters, while Cinderella was abused, humiliated, and finally forced to become a servant in her own house. And yet, through it all, Cinderella remained ever gentle and kind, for with each dawn she found new hope that someday, her dreams of happiness would come true. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Cinderella is summoned for Lady Tremaine's room for frightening Anastasia with Gus on her tray.]'' :'''Cinderella''': Oh please, you don't think that I would- :'''Lady Tremaine''': Hold your tongue! Now, it seems we have time on our hands. :'''Cinderella''': But I was only trying to help. :'''Lady Tremaine:''' Silence! Time for vicious practical jokes. Perhaps we can put it to better use. Now let me see...There's the large carpet in the main hall; clean it! And the windows, upstairs and down; wash them! ''[Cinderella glares hatefully]'' Oh yes, and the tapestries and the draperies- :'''Cinderella''': But I just finished- :'''Lady Tremaine''': Do them again! ''[Cinderella silences herself and strengthens her glare]'' And don't forget the garden. Then scrub the terrace, sweep the halls and the stairs, clean the chimneys. And of course there's the mending and the sewing and the laundry... Oh yes, and one more thing. See that Lucifer gets his bath. :''[Lucifer frowns at the thought of having to get a bath]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Jaq''': Poor Cinderelly. Ev'ry time she find a minute, that's the time when they begin it. "Cinderelly! Cinderelly!" :'''Drizella Tremaine and Anastasia Tremaine''': ''[echoing offscreen]'' Cinderella! :'''Jaq''': ''[shut the door; singing]'' Cinderelly, Cinderelly.<br>Night and day it's Cinderelly.<br>Make the fire! Fix the breakfast!<br>Wash the dishes! Do the moppin'! :'''The Female Mice''': ''[singing]'' And the sweepin', and the dustin'<br>They always keep her hoppin'. :'''Jaq''': ''[singing]'' She go around in circles 'till she very, very dizzy<br>Still they holler... :'''The Female Mice''': ''[singing]'' Keep-a busy, Cinderelly! :'''Jaq''': Yeah. ''Keep-a busy''. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Gus''': ''[singing]'' I'll cut it with the scissors! :'''Jaq''': ''[singing]'' And I can do the sewing. :'''The Female Mouse''': ''[singing]'' Leave the sewing to the women.<br>You go get some trimmin'. :'''Jaq and Gus''': And we'll make a lovely dress for Cinderelly! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Anastasia Tremaine''': And this too, Cinderella, my slippers. Now don't forget- :'''Drizella Tremaine''': Cinderella, take my dress! Here, mend the buttonholes. :'''Anastasia Tremaine''': Press my skirt as well, and mind the ruffle. You're always- :'''Lady Tremaine''': And, Cinderella... :'''Cinderella''': Yes? :'''Lady Tremaine''': If you're through, and before you begin your regular chores, I have a few little things. :'''Cinderella''': Very well. ''[leaves the room]'' :'''Anastasia Tremaine''': Mother, I don't see why everyone else seems to have such nice things to wear, and I always end up in these old rags. This sash! ''[throws it on the floor]'' Why, I wouldn't be seen dead in it! :'''Drizella Tremaine''': You should talk. ''[throws them on the floor]'' These beads! ''[kicks them]'' I'm sick of looking at them! Trash! :'''Anastasia Tremaine''': Oh, I hate- :'''Drizella Tremaine''': I don't see why I can't have- :''[The other girls leave the room]'' <hr width=50%/> :'''Lady Tremaine''': Girls, please! After all, we did it make a bargain. Didn’t we Cinderella? And I never go back on my word. Hmm. How very clever. These beads… they give it just the right touch. Don’t you think so, Drizella? :'''Drizella Tremaine''': No, I don’t! I think she’s… Why, you little thief! They’re my beads! Give them here! :'''Cinderella''': Oh, no! :'''Anastasia Tremaine''': Oh, and look that’s my sash! Wearing my sash! She’s can’t! <hr width="50%"/> :'''The Fairy Godmother''': Well, hop in, my dear. We can't waste time. :'''Cinderella''': Oh, but- :'''The Fairy Godmother''': Now, now, don't try to thank me. :'''Cinderella''': Oh, I wasn't... I mean, I do, but don't you think my dress- :'''The Fairy Godmother''': Yes, it's lovely, dear, love... ''[actually sees it]'' Good heavens, child! You can't go in that! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cinderella''': Why, it's like a dream. A wonderful dream come true. :'''The Fairy Godmother''': Yes, my child, but like all dreams, well, I'm afraid this can't last forever. You have only until midnight, and- :'''Cinderella''': Midnight? Oh, thank you. :'''The Fairy Godmother''': Oh, now, just a minute. You must understand, my dear: On the stroke of twelve, the spell will be broken, and everything will be as it was before. :'''Cinderella''': Oh, I understand, but...it's more than I ever hoped for. :'''The Fairy Godmother''': Bless you, my child. I... ''[realizing]'' Goodness me! It's getting late. Hurry up, dear. The ball can't wait. Have a good time. Dance, be gay. Now, off you go. You're on your way. <hr width="50%"/> :''[As the clock strikes midnight]'' :'''Cinderella''': Oh my goodness. :'''Prince Charming''': What's the matter? :'''Cinderella''': It's midnight. :'''Prince Charming''': Yes, so it is, but... :'''Cinderella''': Goodbye. :'''Prince Charming''': No, no, wait. You can't go now. It's only... :'''Cinderella''': Oh, I must, please. Please, I must. :'''Prince Charming''': But why? :'''Cinderella''': Well, I... Oh, the Prince. I haven't met the Prince. :'''Prince Charming''': The Prince? But didn't you know- :''[The clock strikes midnight with a loud gong]'' :'''Cinderella''': Goodbye! ''[runs off]'' :'''Prince Charming''': No, wait. Come back. Please come back! I don't even know your name! How will I find you?!, Wait! Please wait! :'''Cinderella''': Goodbye! :'''The Grand Duke''': ''[waves before realizing]'' I say, young lady! Who is she?! :'''Prince Charming''': Wait! ''[gets enamored by the maidens]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Jaq''': He's here! He's here, the Duke-Duke! :'''Gus''': Who? :'''Jaq''': The Grand Duke, with the slipper! Gotta get that key quick! :'''Gus''': Duke-Duke! Key-key! Quick-quick! <hr width="50%"/> :'''The Herald''': His Grace will read a royal proclamation. ''[brings the proclamation]'' :''' The Grand Duke''': ''[clearing throat]'' All loyal subjects of His Majesty are hereby...notified by royal proclamation in regard to a certain... ''[yawning]'' glass slipper. ''[the Herald uncovers the slipper]'' It is upon this day decreed... :'''Drizella Tremaine''': Why, that's my slipper! :'''Anastasia Tremaine''': Well, I like that! It's my slipper! :'''Gus''': No, no, no! Cinderelly's slipper! ''[starts to get out of the cup getting angry but restrained by Jaq who puts his cap on his muzzle to prevent him from continuing]'' :'''Drizella Tremaine''': How can she- ''[as she and Anastasia tries to grab the slipper, but the Herald runs out of the way with the slipper]'' :'''Lady Tremaine''': Girls, girls! Your manners. A thousand pardons, Your Grace. Please continue. :'''The Grand Duke''': Yes, quite so. ''[reading]'' It is upon this day decreed that a quest be instituted throughout the length and breadth of our domain...the sole and express purpose of the quest to be as follows... ''[Jaq gestures to Gus to show him Lady Tremaine’s pocket and whispers in his ear to tell him that the key is hidden there]'' that every single maiden in our beloved kingdom, without prearranged exception, shall try upon her foot this aforementioned slipper of glass. ''[Jaq and Gus get out of the cup and Gus steps on Jaq's tail when he climbs down from the cup]'' And should one be found upon whose foot said slipper shall properly fit...such maiden shall be acclaimed the object of this search and immediately forthwith shall be locked upon as the one and only true love of His Royal Highness, our beloved son and heir, the Noble Prince. ''[Gus helps Jaq go down inside Lady Tremaine's pocket]'' The Noble Prince will humbly and upon bended knee beg, request, or if need be, ''[Jaq starts to pull the key out of the pocket and Gus tries to grab it]'' implore the maiden, that they grant her hand in marriage. ''[but at that moment Lady Tremaine looks in the direction of Cinderella's room, where she is locked, and decides to check the key in her pocket, Gus signals to Jaq who is hiding at the back bringing the key with him]'' Well...whereupon, should the aforementioned-made look with favor upon his suit, but shall the happy couple pledge their troth...on... ''[Lady Tremaine's hand grabs the key and begins to lift it in her pocket, Jaq tries to climb up along the fabric to avoid it, but the key goes up faster and catches his muzzle as it passes, Jaq remains lifted by the tip of his nose not daring to move, and ends up slipping along the pocket with Lady Tremaine who drops the key which falls on his head, stunning him]'' and in just dues, upon the inevitable demise...of His Most Gracious and August Majesty, the King, succeed to the throne, there to rule all over the land...as Kingsland Queen of our beloved kingdom. ''[Lady Tremaine pats her pocket, inadvertently hitting Jaq with the key]'' ''[yawning]'' so be it. ''[falls asleep, but the Herald brings a chair just before he falls down]'' :'''Lady Tremaine''': You must be quite fatigued, Your Grace. May we offer you some tea? ''[starts pouring tea into the cup where Gus is hiding, and Gus starts sucking in his belly, lying on the bottom of the cup, to avoid being hit by a boiling drop of tea which starts pouring out of the teapot and comes down dangerously toward him]'' :'''The Grand Duke''': What? Tea? ''[yawning]'' Thank you, madam, no. :''[Lady Tremaine raises the teapot as the drop was about to fall on Gus]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[As Anastasia tries on the glass slipper, which at first appears to fit]'' :'''Anastasia Tremaine''': There. I knew it was my slipper. Exactly my size. I always wear the same size. As soon as I saw it, I said... ''[the Herald lifts up her foot, revealing that the shoe just barely covers one toe]'' Well, it-it may be a trifle snug today. You know how it is, dancing all night. I can't understand why. ''[the Herald shrugs his shoulders, decides to roll up his sleeves, leaps onto her leg and starts to hammer the shoe on]'' It's always fit perfectly before. I don't think you're half trying. Mother, can you... :'''Lady Tremaine''': ''[hushing her daughter up because the Grand Duke is sleeping]'' Shhh. Quiet, my dear. We mustn't disturb his Grace. ''[to the Herald]'' Young lady, are you sure you're trying it on the right foot? :'''Anastasia Tremaine''': Oh, it's the right foot, but it must have shrunk or something. A glass shoe isn't always reliable. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Anastasia angrily tries to kick the Herald, who hits his head onto the piano, due to the fact that he failed to make her fit the slipper]'' :'''Anastasia Tremaine''': Why can't you hold still a minute?! :'''The Grand Duke''': ''[waking up]'' Oh, my word! Enough of this! ''[the Herald slides his head down on the piano keys]'' The next young lady, please. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Drizella struggles to put the slipper on]'' :'''Drizella Tremaine''': Oh, of all the stupid little idiots! I'll do it myself! Get away from me! ''[furiously stuns the Herald with another shoe and angrily kicks him to make him go away]'' I'll make it fit! ''[fits the slipper with her big feet]'' There! :'''Lady Tremaine''': It fits! :'''The Grand Duke''': It fits? :''[Eventually Drizella's foot turns out to be too large for the shoe, which makes it fly into the air. The Herald rushes to catch it, and in the end, the Grand Duke manages to save the shoe on his finger, sighing in relief]'' :'''Lady Tremaine''': Oh, Your Grace, I'm dreadfully sorry. It shan't happen again. :'''The Grand Duke''': ''[noticeably exasperated while the Herald brushes him]'' Precisely, madam. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Last lines]'' :'''The Grand Duke''': You are the only ladies of the household, I hope- ''[catches himself]'' I-I presume. :'''Lady Tremaine''': There's no one else, your Grace. :'''The Grand Duke''': Quite so. Good day, good day. ''[starts to leave]'' :'''Cinderella''': ''[calling him from the stairs, much to her stepfamily's horror]'' Your Grace! Your Grace! Please, wait. May I try it on? :''[As the Grand Duke sees Cinderella's right size feet, with a smile on his face]'' :'''Lady Tremaine''': Oh. Pay no attention to her. :'''Anastasia Tremaine''': It's only Cinderella. :'''Drizella Tremaine''': Our scullery maid. :'''Anastasia Tremaine''': From the kitchen. :'''Drizella Tremaine''': Absolutely ridiculous. :'''Anastasia Tremaine''': She's out of her mind. :'''Lady Tremaine''': Yes, just an imaginative child. :'''The Grand Duke''': Madame, my orders were every maiden! ''[walks up to Cinderella]'' Come, my child. :''[The Grand Duke leads her kindly to sit in the chair, and signals the Herald with his finger. The Herald nods, and walks up to them. But Lady Tremaine secretly trips over the Herald with her cane, causing the slipper to fly and shatters on the floor]'' :'''The Grand Duke''': Oh, no! Oh, no, no, no, no, no! Oh, this is terrible. ''[gasps]'' The King! What will he say? ''[clutches his throat]'' What will he do?!?! :'''Cinderella''': ''[reaching into her pocket]'' But, perhaps, if it would help- :'''The Grand Duke''': No, no, nothing can help now. Nothing! :'''Cinderella''': ''[pulls the other slipper out of her pocket]'' But, you see, I have the other slipper. :''[Lady Tremaine is horrified. Overjoyed, the Grand Duke kisses it. The mice and the birds cheered from upstairs as the Grand Duke fits Cinderella's foot with the slipper perfectly]'' == About ''Cinderella (1950 film)'' == * As an animator, I sure was frustrated. Cinderella was a real girl, and handled like a real girl, and the stepsisters and everybody who worked with her, particularly the Prince and the stepmother, to my way of thinking had to be just as real as she was. You couldn't let up and have them half-cartoon. The closest was the Grand Duke, he was more of a cartoon figure and he didn't have to work with her very much; the King didn't have to work with her. So you could get by with them, but everybody who was in the scenes with her I felt had to have the same treatment she did, very realistic, believable drawing and believable animation. I felt, here are your restrictions; it doesn't allow you very far to go. I never got any scenes that I felt really had the meanness, the villainy. You'd get a sneer, and it was just a subtle little sneer; just a curve of the upper lip was about all you could do on it. And the stepsisters, the same way. If you tried to get really the expression you wanted, you got into a lot of extra lines. The faces were designed realistically, and it had to be, for that treatment. ** [[w:Frank Thomas (animator)|Frank Thomas (animator)]] [http://www.michaelbarrier.com/Interviews/ThomasJohnston1987/ThomasJohnston1987.html ''Thomas Johnston'' (1987)] ==Taglines== * The greatest love story ever told. * Greatest Since Snow White * A love story with music * For All the World to Love! * Midnight never strikes when you're in love. * 1995 Cinderella VHS is a Very Merry Christmas Songs favorite! * Burn all the 1995 VHSs and 1995 Books of Cinderella! ==Cast== * [[w:Ilene Woods|Ilene Woods]] - [[w:Cinderella (Disney character)|Cinderella]] * [[w:Eleanor Audley|Eleanor Audley]] - [[w:Lady Tremaine|Lady Tremaine]] * [[w:Verna Felton|Verna Felton]] - Fairy Godmother * [[w:Rhoda Williams|Rhoda Williams]] - Drizella * [[w:Jimmy MacDonald (sound effects artist)|James MacDonald]] - [[w:List of Disney's Cinderella characters|Jaq and Gus]] * [[w:Jimmy MacDonald (sound effects artist)|James MacDonald]] - Bruno * [[w:Luis van Rooten|Luis Van Rooten]] - The King * [[w:Luis van Rooten|Luis Van Rooten]] - The Grand Duke * [[w:Don Barclay (actor)|Don Barclay]] - Herald * [[w:Lucille Bliss|Lucille Bliss]] - [[w:List of Disney's Cinderella characters|Anastasia Tremaine]] * Leone Ledoux - [[w:Minnie Mouse|Minnie Mouse]] * [[w:Clarence Nash|Clarence Nash]] - [[w:Pinocchio (1940 film)|Figaro]] * [[w:June Foray|June Foray]] - [[w:List of Disney's Cinderella characters|Lucifer]] * [[w:Betty Lou Gerson|Betty Lou Gerson]] - Narrator * [[w:William Edward Phipps|William Phipps]] - Prince ==See also== * ''[[Cinderella II: Dreams Come True]]'' * ''[[Cinderella III: A Twist in Time]]'' ==External links== {{wikipedia}} * {{imdb title|id=0042332|title=Cinderella}} {{Disney's Cinderella}} {{Authority control}} [[Category:1950 animated films]] [[Category:1950s American animated films]] [[Category:Traditionally animated films]] [[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]] [[Category:American children's animated musical films]] [[Category:Fairy films]] [[Category:Films about wish fulfillment]] [[Category:United States National Film Registry films]] [[Category:Animated films about royalty]] [[Category:Animated films about weddings]] [[Category:Animated films about princesses]] [[Category:Disney Princess films]] [[Category:Minnie Mouse films]] [[Category:American animated romance films]] 8lfd0i4d221qwwxb96eqvk7wt84l8vz 0 23772 3942162 3907766 2026-05-17T20:41:31Z Ringbang 4436 /* Not Always So, practicing the true spirit of Zen (2002) */ amended section title 3942162 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Enso circle.jpg|thumb|right|There are, strictly speaking, no enlightened people, there is only enlightened activity.]] '''[[w:Shunryu Suzuki|Shunryu Suzuki]]''' (鈴木 俊隆 Suzuki Shunryū, dharma name Shogaku Shunryu) ([[18 May]] [[1904]] – [[4 December]] [[1971]]) was a [[w:Sōtō Zen|Sōtō Zen]] monk and teacher who helped popularize [[w:Zen Buddhism|Zen Buddhism]] in the United States, and is renowned for founding the first [[Buddhism|Zen Buddhist]] monastery outside Asia ([[w:Tassajara Zen Mountain Center|Tassajara Zen Mountain Center]]). Suzuki founded [[w:San Francisco Zen Center|San Francisco Zen Center]] which, along with its affiliate temples, comprises one of the most influential Zen organizations in the United States. A book of his teachings, ''[[w:Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind|Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind]]'', is one of the most popular books on Zen and Buddhism in the West. == Quotes == [[File:Bbrot225x225x24.PNG|thumb|right|[[w:Zazen|Zazen]] practice is the direct expression of our true nature. Strictly speaking, for a human being, there is no other practice than this practice; there is no other way of life than this way of life.]] *'''What is true zazen? What do you mean by Zen becomes Zen and you become you? You become you is a very important point. You become you.''' When you become you, even though you are in bed, you may not be you most of the time. Even though you are sitting here, I wonder whether you are you in its true sense. '''So to be you is zazen.''' **[http://www.shunryusuzuki.com/suzuki/transcripts-pdf/67-pdf/67-08-31U.pdf Lecture in Los Altos, CA (1 September 1967)] *So it is not a matter of whether it is possible to attain Buddhahood, or if it is possible to make a tile a jewel. '''But just to work, just to live in this world with this understanding is the most important point, and that is our practice. That is true zazen.''' ** Lecture in Los Altos, CA (1 September 1967) *So I say, ‘Oh, I am sorry but soon you will see the bright sunrise every morning and beautiful sunset in the evening, every evening, but right now perhaps you…under your situation it may be impossible to see the beautiful sunset or bright sunrise, or beautiful flower in your garden, and it is impossible to take care of your garden, but soon you will see the beauty of the flowers and you will cut some flowers for your room.’ '''When you start to do this kind of thing you are alright. Don’t worry a bit. It means when you become you, yourself, and when you see things as they are, and when you become at one with your surrounding, in its true sense, there is true self.''' ** Lecture in Los Altos, CA (1 September 1967) * The highest truth is ''daiji'', translated as ''dai jiki'' in Chinese scriptures. This is the subject of the question the emperor asked Bodhidharma: "What is the First Principle?" Bodhidharma said, "I don't know." "I don't know" is the First Principle. ** [http://www.cuke.com/Cucumber%20Project/lectures/transcripts-new-2012/srl-68-02-00F-f.html ''Lotus Sutra No. 6'' lecture at the Zen Mountain Center (February 1968)] * '''Communication is — start by understanding — your own understanding about people. Even though you want them to understand you, you know, it is — unless you understand people, it is almost impossible.''' Don't you think so? Only when you understand people, they may understand you. So even though you do not say anything, if you understand people there is some communication. ** [http://suzukiroshi.sfzc.org/archives/index.cgi/710817V.html ''Sun-Faced Buddha, Moon-Faced Buddha'' lecture at the Zen Mountain Center (17 August 1971)] * '''When you do something, you should burn yourself completely, like a good bonfire, leaving no trace of yourself.''' ** Quoted in ''''Enter the Heart of the Fire : A collection of Mystical Poems'' (1981) by Mary E. Giles and Kathryn Hohlwein * '''You may say you attained some stage in your practice. But that is just a trivial event in your long life.''' It is like saying the ocean is round, or like a jewel, or [[palace]]. For a hungry ghost the ocean is a pool of blood; for a dragon the ocean is a palace; for a fish it is his house; for a human being it is water. There must be various understandings. When the ocean is a palace, it is a palace. You cannot say it is not a palace. For a dragon it is actually a palace. If you laugh at a fish who says it is a palace, Buddha will laugh at you who say it is two o'clock, three o'clock. It is the same thing. ** [http://www.berkeleyzencenter.org/Lectures/may2000.shtml "Three Lecture Excerpts from Shunryu Suzuki Roshi"] in ''{{w|Berkeley Zen Center}} Newsletter'' (May 2000) * '''There are, strictly speaking, no enlightened people, there is only enlightened activity.''' ** Quoted in ''Zen Millionaire : The Investor's Guide to the "Other Side"'' (2007) by Paul B. Farrell ** Variant: Strictly speaking, there are no enlightened people, there is only enlightened activity. === ''[[w:Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind|Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind]]'' (1970) === ==== Beginner's Mind ==== * In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, in the expert's there are few. * The true purpose of Zen is to see things as they are, to observe things as they are, and to let everything go as it goes. Zen practice is to open up our small mind. ==== Right Practice ==== * Doing something is expressing our own nature. We do not exist for the sake of something else. We exist for the sake of ourselves. This is the fundamental teaching expressed in the forms we observe. ** "Posture" * You should rather be grateful for the weeds you have in your mind, because eventually they will enrich your practice. ** "Mind Weeds" * [[w:Zazen|Zazen]] practice is the direct expression of our true nature. Strictly speaking, for a human being, there is no other practice than this practice; there is no other way of life than this way of life. ** "The Marrow of Zen" * <p>Bowing is a very serious practice. You should be prepared to bow, even in your last moment. Even though it is impossible to get rid of our self-centered desires, we have to do it. Our true nature wants us to. After {{w|zazen}} we bow to the floor nine times. By bowing we are giving up ourselves. To give up ourselves means to give up our dualistic ideas. So there is no difference between zazen practice and bowing. …</p><p>{{w|Sen no Rikyu}}, the founder of the {{w|Japanese tea ceremony}}, committed {{w|hara-kiri}} (ritual suicide by disembowelment) in 1591 at the order of his lord, [[w:Toyotomi Hideyoshi|Hideyoshi]]. Just before Rikyu took his own life he said, "When I have this sword there is no [[Buddha]] and no [[w:Patriarch (Buddhism)|Patriarchs]]." He meant that when we have the sword of big mind, there is no dualistic world. The only thing which exists is this spirit. This kind of imperturbable spirit was always present in Rikyu’s tea ceremony. He never did anything in just a dualistic way; he was ready to die in each moment. In ceremony after ceremony he died, and he renewed himself. This is the spirit of the tea ceremony. This is how we bow.</p> ** "Bowing" * Practice does not mean that whatever you do, even lying down, is zazen. When the restrictions you have do not limit you, this is what we mean by practice…. <br /> When you sit, you will sit. When you eat, you will eat…. If you say,”It doesn’t matter,” it means that you are making some excuse to do something in your own way with your small mind. It means that you are to some particular thing or way. That is not what we mean when we say, “Just to sit is enough,” or “Whatever you do is zazen.” Of course, everything you do is zazen, but if so, there is no need to say it. ** "Bowing" * After you have practiced for a while, you will realize that it is not possible to make rapid, extraordinary progress. Even though you try very hard, the progress you make is always little by little. It is not like going out in a shower in which you know when you get wet. In a fog, you do not know you are getting wet, but as you keep walking you get wet little by little. If your mind has ideas of progress, you may say, "Oh, this pace is terrible!" But actually it is not. When you get wet in a fog it is very difficult to dry yourself. So there is no need to worry about progress. ** "Bowing" ==== Right Attitude ==== * The purpose of studying Buddhism is not to study Buddhism but to study ourselves. You are not your body. You are the Big Activity. You are just expressing the smallest particle of the Big Activity. That is all. But when you become attached to a temporal expression of the Big Activity, it is time to talk about Buddhism. ** "Study Yourself" * Once I had left [[w:Eihei-ji|Eiheiji]] and been away for some time, coming back was different. I heard the various sounds of practice—the bells and the monks reciting the sutra—and I had a deep feeling. There were tears flowing out of my eyes, nose, and mouth! It is the people who are outside of the monastery who feel its atmosphere. Those who are practicing actually do not feel anything. I think this is true for everything. When we hear the sound of the pine trees on a windy day, perhaps the wind is just blowing, and the pine tree is just standing in the wind. That is all that they are doing. But the people who listen to the wind in the tree will write a poem, or will feel something unusual. That is, I think, the way everything is. ** From "Study Yourself" in part 2: "Right Attitude" * It is all right to talk about ourselves, but actually there is no need to do so. Before we open our mouths, we are already expressing the big existence, including ourselves. So the purpose of talking about ourselves is to correct the misunderstanding we have when we are attached to any particular temporal form or color of the big activity. ** "Study Yourself" ==== Right Understanding ==== * The basic teaching of Buddhism is the teaching of transiency or change. That everything changes is the basic truth for each existence. No one can deny this truth and all teaching of Buddhism is condensed within it. This is the teaching for all of us. Wherever we go this teaching is true. This teaching is also understood as the teaching of selflessness. Because each existence is in constant change, there is no abiding self. ** "Transiency" * Without accepting the fact that [[w:Impermanence (Buddhism)|everything changes]], we cannot find perfect composure. ** "Transiency" * If you take pride in your attainment or become discouraged because of your idealistic effort, your practice will confine you by a thick wall. ** "Naturalness" ==== Zen Mind ==== * Eyes only see things outside, objective things. If you reflect on yourself, that self is not your true self any more. You cannot project yourself as some objective thing to think about. The mind which is always on your side is not just your mind, it is universal mind, always the same, not different from another's mind. It is Zen mind. It is big, big mind. * We must have beginner's mind, free from possessing anything, a mind that knows everything is in [[w:Impermanence (Buddhism)|flowing change]]. Nothing exists but momentarily in its present form and color. One thing flows into another and cannot be grasped. === ''Not Always So: Practicing the True Spirit of Zen'' (2002) === * When we do not expect anything we can be ourselves. That is our way, to live fully in each moment of time. ** Shikantaza: Living Fully In Each Moment (page 4) * It is a big mistake to think that the best way to express yourself is to do whatever you want, acting as you please. This is not expressing yourself. If you know what to do exactly, and you do it, then you can express yourself fully. ** Express Yourself Fully (page 8) * All descriptions of reality are limited expressions of the world of emptiness. Yet we attach to the descriptions and think they are reality. That is a mistake. ** Letters From Emptiness (page 33) * Instead of respecting things, we want to use them for ourselves and if it is difficult to use them, we want to conquer them. ** Respect For Things (page 81) * Real Freedom is to not feel limited when wearing this Zen robe, this troublesome formal robe. Similarly, in our busy life we should wear this civilization without being bothered by it, without ignoring it, without being caught by it. ** Not Always So (page 95) * Nothing we see or hear is perfect. But right there in the imperfection is perfect reality. ** Wherever You Are, Enlightenment Is There (page127) ==See also== * [[Buddhism]] * [[Nagarjuna]] * [[Dōgen Zenji]] == External links == {{wikipedia}} * [http://www.cuke.com/ Crooked Cucumber: The Life and Teaching of Shunryu Suzuki] {{DEFAULTSORT:Suzuki Shinryu}} [[Category:Religious leaders from Japan]] [[Category:Buddhist teachers]] [[Category:1904 births]] [[Category:1971 deaths]] [[Category:Zen Buddhist monks]] [[Category:Buddhists from Japan]] susbu2jzzxonjl24maq003dzl5teep1 0 26555 3942218 3738675 2026-05-18T00:19:40Z Kalki 71 updates 3942218 wikitext text/x-wiki <div id="18" style="margin: 1em 0em; border: thin solid black; padding: 3px; background-color:#CFE5FF;color:var(--color-base-fixed,#202122); font: bold 14pt sans-serif;">[[Category:Days]][[w:May 18|May 18]]</div> <noinclude>'''Quotes of the day''' from previous years:</noinclude> ; 2004 : Love me for love's sake, that evermore thou may'st love on, through love's eternity. ~ [[Elizabeth Barrett Browning]] :* selected by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ; 2005 : To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead. ~ [[Bertrand Russell]] (born 18 May 1872) :* selected by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ; 2006 : ''A Book of Verses underneath the Bough, <br/> A Jug of Wine, a Loaf of Bread — and Thou <br/> Beside me singing in the Wilderness — <br/> Oh, Wilderness were Paradise enow!'' <br/>~ [[Omar Khayyám]] (born 18 May 1048) :* selected by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ; 2007 : The opposition of instinct and reason is mainly illusory. Instinct, intuition, or insight is what first leads to the beliefs which subsequent reason confirms or confutes; but the confirmation, where it is possible, consists, in the last analysis, of agreement with other beliefs no less instinctive. Reason is a harmonising, controlling force rather than a creative one. Even in the most purely logical realms, it is insight that first arrives at what is new. ~ [[Bertrand Russell]] :* proposed by [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] <!-- In fact the opposition of instinct and reason is mainly illusory... * 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 07:04, 14 May 2007 (UTC) * 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 19:27, 17 May 2007 (UTC) (using this, but trimming it slightly, to begin with "The opposition...") * 4 [[User:Aphaia|Aphaia]] 22:05, 17 May 2007 (UTC) --> ; 2008 : To save the world requires faith and courage: faith in reason, and courage to proclaim what reason shows to be true. ~ [[Bertrand Russell]] :* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]<!-- To save the world requires faith and courage: faith in reason, and courage to proclaim what reason shows to be true. ~ [[Bertrand Russell]] * 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 19:27, 17 May 2007 (UTC) * 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 22:01, 17 May 2007 (UTC) * 4 [[User:Aphaia|Aphaia]] 22:05, 17 May 2007 (UTC) * 1 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 05:25, 23 April 2008 (UTC) --> ; 2009 : ''The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, <br /> Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit <br />Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line, <br /> Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.'' <br> ~ [[Omar Khayyám]] ~ :* proposed by[[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]]<!-- * 4 [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] 17:07, 7 April 2009 (UTC) a widely quoted classic * 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 16:31, 16 May 2009 (UTC) →''this was used in 2009.'' --> ; 2010 : The impartiality which, in contemplation, is the unalloyed desire for truth, is the very same quality of mind which, in action, is justice, and in emotion is that universal love which can be given to all, and not only to those who are judged useful or admirable. Thus contemplation not only enlarges the objects of our thoughts, but also the objects of our actions and our affections: it makes us citizens of the universe, not only of one walled city at war with the rest. In this citizenship of the universe consists man's true freedom, and his liberation from the thralldom of narrow hopes and fears. ~ [[Bertrand Russell]] :* proposed by [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] <!-- Thus contemplation not only enlarges the objects of our thoughts, but also the objects of our actions and our affections: it makes us citizens of the universe, not only of one walled city at war with the rest. ~ [[Bertrand Russell]] * 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 07:04, 14 May 2007 (UTC) * 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 08:04, 30 April 2010 (UTC) <s>* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 19:27, 17 May 2007 (UTC) but would either trim the "thus" or extend it thus: </s> but would extend this to: ::The impartiality which, in contemplation, is the unalloyed desire for truth, is the very same quality of mind which, in action, is justice, and in emotion is that universal love which can be given to all, and not only to those who are judged useful or admirable. Thus contemplation not only enlarges the objects of our thoughts, but also the objects of our actions and our affections: it makes us citizens of the universe, not only of one walled city at war with the rest. In this citizenship of the universe consists man's true freedom, and his liberation from the thraldom of narrow hopes and fears. * Comment: Would prefer this longer quote. - [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 22:01, 17 May 2007 (UTC) * 2 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 05:25, 23 April 2008 (UTC) --> ; 2011 : Dogmatism and skepticism are both, in a sense, absolute philosophies; one is certain of knowing, the other of not knowing. What philosophy should dissipate is certainty, whether of knowledge or ignorance. ~ [[Bertrand Russell]] :* proposed by [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] <!-- * 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 07:04, 14 May 2007 (UTC) * 4 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 18:58, 15 May 2011 (UTC) <s>* 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 19:27, 17 May 2007 (UTC) with a very strong lean toward 4.</s> * 3 [[User:Aphaia|Aphaia]] 22:05, 17 May 2007 (UTC) (It reminds me Fichte's quote about dogmatism and criticism, perhaps Russel was influenced/inspired.) * 3 because although I dislike dogmatism, it exists in many humans and is one of mankind's greatest follies. [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 05:25, 23 April 2008 (UTC) --> ; 2012 : {{quote of the day | quote = Modern methods of production have given us the possibility of ease and security for all; we have [[Choice|chosen]], instead, to have [[Work|overwork]] for some and [[Hunger|starvation]] for the others. Hitherto we have continued to be as energetic as we were before there were [[machines]]; in this we have been [[Fools|foolish]], but there is no reason to go on being foolish for ever. | author = Bertrand Russell }} :* proposed by [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] <!-- * 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 07:04, 14 May 2007 (UTC) * 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 19:27, 17 May 2007 (UTC) with a very strong lean toward 4. * 3 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 05:25, 23 April 2008 (UTC) * 3 [[User:Bystander53|bystander]] ([[User talk:Bystander53|talk]]) 03:15, 15 May 2012 (UTC) --> ; 2013 {{quote of the day | quote = A [[stupid]] [[man]]'s report of what a [[clever]] man says is never accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he [[Hearing|hears]] into something that he can [[understand]]. | author = Bertrand Russell }} :* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]<!-- * 4 <span style= "border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;">♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡</span> 06:15, 16 May 2013 (UTC) <s> * 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 19:27, 17 May 2007 (UTC) with a very strong lean toward 4. </s> * 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 22:01, 17 May 2007 (UTC) * 2 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 05:25, 23 April 2008 (UTC) --> ; 2014 {{quote of the day | quote = The [[good]] [[life]] is one [[inspired]] by [[love]] and guided by [[knowledge]]. | author = Bertrand Russell }} :* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] <!-- * 4 <span style= "border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;">♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡</span> 03:27, 17 May 2014 (UTC) <s> 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 19:27, 17 May 2007 (UTC)</s> * 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 22:01, 17 May 2007 (UTC) * 3 [[User:Aphaia|Aphaia]] 22:05, 17 May 2007 (UTC) * 1 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 05:25, 23 April 2008 (UTC) * 3.5 [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 02:53, 16 January 2014 (UTC) --> ; 2015 {{quote of the day | quote = [[Philosophy]] is to be [[studied]], not for the sake of any definite answers to its questions, since no definite answers can, as a [[rule]], be [[known]] to be [[true]], but rather for the sake of the questions themselves; because these questions enlarge our [[conception]] of what is possible, enrich our [[intellectual]] [[imagination]] and diminish the dogmatic assurance which closes the [[mind]] against [[speculation]]; but above all because, through the [[greatness]] of the [[universe]] which philosophy contemplates, the mind is also rendered great, and becomes capable of that [[union]] with the universe which constitutes its highest [[good]]. | author = Bertrand Russell }} :* proposed by [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]]<!-- * 4 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 07:04, 14 May 2007 (UTC) * 4 <span style= "border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;">♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡</span> 00:04, 18 May 2015 (UTC) <s>3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 19:27, 17 May 2007 (UTC) with a strong lean toward 4.</s> * 1 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 05:25, 23 April 2008 (UTC) * 3 [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 02:53, 16 January 2014 (UTC) --> ; 2016 {{quote of the day | quote = <!-- ⨀ <br /> --> The point of [[philosophy]] is to [[start]] with something so [[simple]] as not to [[seem]] [[worth]] stating, and to [[end]] with something so [[paradoxical]] that no one will [[believe]] it. | author = Bertrand Russell }} :* proposed by [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]]<!-- * 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 07:04, 14 May 2007 (UTC) * 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 19:27, 17 May 2007 (UTC) with a strong lean toward 4. * 3 [[User:Aphaia|Aphaia]] 22:05, 17 May 2007 (UTC) * 2 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 05:25, 23 April 2008 (UTC) * 3 [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 02:53, 16 January 2014 (UTC) --> ; 2107 {{quote of the day | quote = <!-- ⨀ <br /> --> In [[America]] everybody is of [[opinion]] that he has no [[social]] superiors, since [[all]] [[men]] are [[equal]], but he does not admit that he has no social inferiors. | author = [[Bertrand Russell]] ~<br /> in <br />~ ''[[Unpopular Essays]]'' }} :* proposed by [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]]<!-- * 3 [[User:Ningauble|Ningauble]] 15:40, 23 May 2009 (UTC) a critical but instructive thought from the aptly named ''Unpopular Essays'' * 4 <span style= "border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;">♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡</span> 23:59, 17 May 2017 (UTC) <s>3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] ([[User talk:Kalki|talk]] &middot; [[Special:Contributions/Kalki|contributions]]) 08:04, 30 April 2010 (UTC)</s> --> ; 2018 {{quote of the day | quote = <!-- ⨀ <br /> --> It is preoccupation with [[possessions]], more than anything else, that prevents men from [[living]] [[freely]] and [[nobly]]. The State and [[Property]] are the great embodiments of [[possessiveness]]; it is for this [[reason]] that they are against life, and that they issue in [[war]]. Possession means taking or keeping some good thing which another is prevented from [[enjoying]]; [[creation]] means putting into the [[world]] a [[good]] thing which otherwise no one would be able to enjoy. Since the material goods of the world must be divided among the population, and since some men are by nature brigands, there must be defensive possession, which will be regulated, in a good [[community]], by some principle of impersonal [[justice]]. But all this is only the preface to a good life or good [[political]] institutions, in which creation will altogether outweigh possession, and distributive justice will exist as an uninteresting matter of course. <br /> The supreme principle, both in politics and in private life, should be ''to promote all that is creative, and so to diminish the impulses and desires that center round possession.'' | author = Bertrand Russell }} :* proposed by [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]]<!-- It is preoccupation with possession, more than anything else, that prevents men from living freely and nobly. ~ [[Bertrand Russell]] * 3 [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 14:11, 24 April 2017 (UTC) * 4 <span style= "border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;">♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡</span> 23:58, 17 May 2018 (UTC) <s> 2 <span style= "border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;">♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡</span> 06:15, 16 May 2013 (UTC) I like this much, and might eventually rate it 3 or even 4, but there are others by Russell which I presently prefer. </s> But extended for context to read: :It is preoccupation with possessions, more than anything else, that prevents men from living freely and nobly. The State and Property are the great embodiments of possessiveness; it is for this reason that they are against life, and that they issue in war. Possession means taking or keeping some good thing which another is prevented from enjoying; creation means putting into the world a good thing which otherwise no one would be able to enjoy. Since the material goods of the world must be divided among the population, and since some men are by nature brigands, there must be defensive possession, which will be regulated, in a good community, by some principle of impersonal justice. But all this is only the preface to a good life or good political institutions, in which creation will altogether outweigh possession, and distributive justice will exist as an uninteresting matter of course. <br /> The supreme principle, both in politics and in private life, should be ''to promote all that is creative, and so to diminish the impulses and desires that center round possession.'' --> ; 2019 {{quote of the day | quote = <!-- ⨀ <br /> --> Every [[Human|man]] would like to be [[God]], if it were [[possible]]; some few find it [[difficult]] to admit the [[impossibility]]. | author = Bertrand Russell }} :* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]<!-- * 4 <span style= "border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;">♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡</span> 01:43, 18 May 2019 (UTC) <s>3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 19:27, 17 May 2007 (UTC)</s> * 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 22:01, 17 May 2007 (UTC) * 3 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 05:25, 23 April 2008 (UTC) * 4 [[User:Dibbydib|<span style="color:#0ea900">'''dibbydib'''</span>]]^{'''⌐■_■'''} <span style="color:blue">([[User talk:Dibbydib|<span style="color:blue">barate me</span>]])</span> 23:55, 14 May 2020 (UTC) --> ; 2020 {{quote of the day | quote = <!-- ⨀ <br /> --> ''I sent my [[Soul]] through the Invisible,<br />Some letter of that [[After-life]] to spell,<br />And by and by my Soul returned to me,<br />And answered, I [[Myself]] am [[Heaven|Heav'n]] and [[Hell]]:<br /><br /> Heav'n but the [[Visions|Vision]] of fulfill's [[Desire]], <br />And Hell the [[Shadow]] from a Soul on [[fire]] <br />Cast on the [[Darkness]] into which Ourselves, <br />So late emerg'd from, shall so soon expire.'' | author = Omar Khayyám }} :* proposed by [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]]<!-- I sent my soul through the invisible,<br />Some letter of that after-life to spell,<br />And by and by my soul returned to me,<br />And answered, I myself am heaven and hell. ~ [[Omar Khayyám]] * 3 [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 11:48, 4 March 2017 (UTC) * 4 <span style= "border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;">♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡</span> 00:49, 18 May 2020 (UTC) /// but extended and corrected to conform to published versions of translations.--> ; 2021 {{quote of the day | quote = <!-- ⨀ <br /> --> There lies before us, if we [[choose]], continual [[progress]] in [[happiness]], [[knowledge]], and [[wisdom]]. Shall we, instead, choose [[death]], because we cannot forget our [[quarrels]]? We appeal as [[human]] [[beings]] to human beings: [[Remember]] your [[humanity]], and forget the rest. If you can do so, the way lies open to a new [[Paradise]]; if you cannot, there lies before you the risk of [[Extinction|universal death]]. | author = Bertrand Russell }} :* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]<!-- * 4 <span style= "border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;">♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡</span> 21:06, 17 May 2021 (UTC) --> ; 2022 {{quote of the day | quote = <!-- ⨀ <br /> --> [[w:Jill Biden|Jill]] and I bring you this message from deep in our nation’s [[soul]]: In [[America]], [[evil]] will not [[win]] — I promise you. [[Hate]] will not prevail. And [[white supremacy]] will not have the last word. <br /> For the evil did come to Buffalo, and it’s come to all too many places, manifested in gunmen who massacred innocent people in the name of hateful and perverse [[ideology]] rooted in [[fear]] and [[racism]]. … What happened here is simple and straightforward: [[terrorism]]. Terrorism. Domestic terrorism. [[Violence]] inflicted in the service of hate and a [[vicious]] thirst for [[power]] that defines one group of people being inherently inferior to any other group. | author = Joe Biden }} :* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]<!-- * 4 <span style= "border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;">♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡</span> 00:35, 18 May 2022 (UTC) -->; recent remarks on recent tragedies. ; 2023 {{quote of the day | quote = <!-- ⨀ <br /> --> Conventional [[people]] are roused to [[fury]] by departures from convention, largely because they regard such departures as a [[criticism]] of themselves. They will pardon much unconventionality in a man who has enough [[jollity]] and [[friendliness]] to make [[clear]], even to the [[stupidest]], that he is not engaged in criticizing them. | author = [[Bertrand Russell]] ~<br /> in <br />~ ''[[The Conquest of Happiness]]'' }} :* proposed by [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]]<!-- Conventional people are roused to fury by departures from convention, largely because they regard such departures as a criticism of themselves. ~ [[Bertrand Russell]] * 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 07:04, 14 May 2007 (UTC) * 4 <span style= "border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;">♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡</span> 23:54, 17 May 2023 (UTC) <s>3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 19:27, 17 May 2007 (UTC) with a lean toward 4.</s> but extended to read: ::: Conventional people are roused to fury by departures from convention, largely because they regard such departures as a criticism of themselves. They will pardon much unconventionality in a man who has enough jollity and friendliness to make clear, even to the stupidest, that he is not engaged in criticizing them. * 1 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 05:25, 23 April 2008 (UTC) --> ; 2024 {{quote of the day | quote =  <!-- ⨀ <br /> --> It is better to do [[nothing]] than to do [[harm]]. Half the [[useful]] [[work]] in the world consists of combating the harmful work. A little [[time]] spent in [[learning]] to appreciate [[facts]] is not time wasted, and the work that will be done afterwards is far less likely to be harmful than the work done by those who need a continual inflation of their [[ego]] as a stimulant to their energy. | author = [[Bertrand Russell]] ~<br /> in <br />~ ''[[The Conquest of Happiness]]'' }} :* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]<!-- * 4 <span style= "border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;">♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡</span> 23:57, 17 May 2024 (UTC) <s>3 <span style= "border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;">♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡</span> 00:07, 18 May 2023 (UTC)</s> --> ; 2025 {{quote of the day | quote = <!-- ⨀ <br /> --> If you [[desire]] [[glory]], you may [[envy]] [[Napoleon]]. But Napoleon envied [[Julius Caesar|Caesar]], Caesar envied [[Alexander]], and Alexander, I daresay, envied [[w:Hercules|Hercules]], who never [[existed]]. You cannot, therefore, get away from envy by means of [[success]] alone, for there will always be in [[history]] or [[legend]] some person even more successful than you are. You can get away from envy by [[enjoying]] the [[pleasures]] that come your way, by doing the [[work]] that you have to do, and by avoiding [[comparisons]] with those whom you [[imagine]], perhaps quite [[falsely]], to be more [[fortunate]] than yourself. | author = [[Bertrand Russell]] ~<br /> in <br />~ ''[[The Conquest of Happiness]]'' }} :* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]<!-- * 4 <span style= "border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;">♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡</span> 23:57, 17 May 2025 (UTC) <s> 3 <span style= "border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;">♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡</span> 00:07, 18 May 2023 (UTC) </s>  --> ; 2026 {{quote of the day | quote = <!-- ⨀ <br /> -->All [[unhappiness]] depends upon some kind of disintegration or lack of [[integration]]; there is disintegration within the [[self]] through lack of coordination between the conscious and the unconscious [[mind]]; there is lack of integration between the self and [[society]] where the two are not knit together by the force of objective interests and [[affections]]. The [[happy]] [[Human|man]] is the man who does not [[suffer]] from either of these [[failures]] of [[unity]], whose [[personality]] is neither divided against itself nor pitted against the [[world]]. Such a man feels himself a [[citizen]] of the [[universe]], enjoying freely the spectacle that it offers and the [[joys]] that it affords, untroubled by the thought of [[death]] because he [[feels]] himself not really [[separate]] from those who will come after him. It is in such profound instinctive [[union]] with the stream of [[life]] that the [[greatest]] joy is to be found. | author = Bertrand Russell }} <!-- [[Bertrand Russell]] ~<br /> in <br />~ ''[[The Conquest of Happiness]]'' --> :* proposed by [[User:Kalki|Kalki]]<!-- * 3 <span style= "border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;">♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡</span> 00:07, 18 May 2023 (UTC) --> ; 2027 : ''[[May 18|Rank or add further suggestions…]]'' ---- <noinclude> {{QOTD Ranking}} ---- ---- == Suggestions == A gospel of work for work's sake never produced any work worth doing. ~ [[Bertrand Russell]] (born May 18, 1872) * 3 [[User:InvisibleSun|InvisibleSun]] 07:04, 14 May 2007 (UTC) * 3 [[User:Kalki|Kalki]] 19:27, 17 May 2007 (UTC) * 1 [[User:Zarbon|Zarbon]] 05:25, 23 April 2008 (UTC) ---- I believe that when I die I shall rot, and nothing of my ego will survive. I am not young and I love life. But I should scorn to shiver with terror at the thought of annihilation. Happiness is nonetheless true happiness because it must come to an end, nor do thought and love lose their value because they are not everlasting. Many a man has borne himself proudly on the scaffold; surely the same pride should teach us to think truly about man's place in the world. Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cosy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigour, and the great spaces have a splendour of their own. ~ [[Bertrand Russell]] * 3.5 [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 16:07, 27 January 2014 (UTC) * 2 <span style= "border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;">♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡</span> 21:06, 17 May 2021 (UTC) ---- The opinions that are held with passion are always those for which no good ground exists; indeed the passion is the measure of the holder's lack of rational conviction. ~ [[Bertrand Russell]] * 3 [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 15:41, 30 July 2014 (UTC) * 1 <span style= "border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;">♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡</span> 21:06, 17 May 2021 (UTC) ---- There is darkness without, and when I die there will be darkness within. There is no splendour, no vastness, anywhere; only triviality for a moment, and then nothing. ~ [[Bertrand Russell]] * 3 [[User:DanielTom|DanielTom]] ([[User talk:DanielTom|talk]]) 14:11, 24 April 2017 (UTC) * 1 <span style= "border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;">♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡</span> 21:06, 17 May 2021 (UTC) ---- {{quote of the day | quote = In view of the fact that in any future world war nuclear weapons will certainly be employed, and that such weapons threaten the continued existence of mankind, we urge the governments of the world to realize, and to acknowledge publicly, that their purpose cannot be furthered by a world war, and we urge them, consequently, to find peaceful means for the settlement of all matters of dispute between them. | author = Bertrand Russell }} * 3 <span style= "border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;">♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡</span> 21:06, 17 May 2021 (UTC) ---- {{quote of the day | quote = Am deeply shocked at massacre by Pakistani military in East Pakistan, appalled at possibility these atrocities are being committed with American equipment, and greatly concerned at United States vulnerability to damaging allegations of associations with reign of military terror. | author = [[Kenneth Keating]] }} * 3 (Telegram sent by Kenneth Keating during the 1971 Bangladesh genocide) [[User:ᘙ|ᘙ]] ([[User talk:ᘙ|talk]]) 11:17, 9 December 2022 (UTC) ---- {{quote of the day | quote = The megalomaniac differs from the narcissist by the fact that he wishes to be powerful rather than charming, and seeks to be feared rather than loved. To this type belong many lunatics and most of the great men of history. | author = [[Bertrand Russell]] ~<br /> in <br />~ ''[[The Conquest of Happiness]]'' }} * 3 <span style= "border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;">♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡</span> 00:07, 18 May 2023 (UTC) ---- {{quote of the day | quote = If all our happiness is bound up entirely in our personal circumstances it is difficult not to demand of life more than it has to give. And to demand too much is the surest way of getting even less than is possible. The man who can forget his worries by means of a genuine interest in, say, the Council of Trent, or the life history of stars, will find that, when he returns from his excursion into the impersonal world, he has acquired a poise and calm which enable him to deal with his worries in the best way, and he will in the meantime have experienced a genuine even if temporary happiness. The secret of happiness is this: let your interests be as wide as possible, and let your reactions to the things and persons that interest you be as far as possible friendly rather than hostile. | author = [[Bertrand Russell]] ~<br /> in <br />~ ''[[The Conquest of Happiness]]'' }} * 3 <span style= "border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;">♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡</span> 00:07, 18 May 2023 (UTC) ---- {{quote of the day | quote = To be happy in this world, especially when youth is past, it is necessary to feel oneself not merely an isolated individual whose day will soon be over, but part of the stream of life flowing on from the first germ to the remote and unknown future. | author = [[Bertrand Russell]] ~<br /> in <br />~ ''[[The Conquest of Happiness]]'' }} * 3 <span style= "border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;">♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡</span> 00:07, 18 May 2023 (UTC) ---- {{quote of the day | quote = To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization, and at present very few people have reached this level. | author = [[Bertrand Russell]] ~<br /> in <br />~ ''[[The Conquest of Happiness]]'' }} * 3 <span style= "border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;">♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡</span> 00:07, 18 May 2023 (UTC) ---- {{quote of the day | quote = A little work directed to a good end is better than a great deal of work directed to a bad end, though the apostles of the strenuous life seem to think otherwise. | author = [[Bertrand Russell]] ~<br /> in <br />~ ''[[The Conquest of Happiness]]'' }} * 3 <span style= "border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;">♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡</span> 00:07, 18 May 2023 (UTC) ---- {{quote of the day | quote = It is one of the defects of modern higher education that it has become too much a training in the acquisition of certain kinds of skill, and too little an enlargement of the mind and heart by an impartial survey of the world. | author = [[Bertrand Russell]] ~<br /> in <br />~ ''[[The Conquest of Happiness]]'' }} * 3 <span style= "border-radius:99em;color:white;background:silver;">♞[[User:Kalki/Kalkiswords|☤]][[User:Kalki/Magic|☮]]♌︎[[User:Kalki|Kalki]] [[User talk:Kalki|⚚]][[User:Kalki/index|⚓︎]]⊙[[User:Kalki/Chronology|☳]][[User:Kalki/Vox Box|☶]]⚡</span> 00:07, 18 May 2023 (UTC) ---- <!-- interwiki start --> <!-- interwiki end --> </noinclude> 4fk3ur8mc8h0nvsydqmbifchv0c7465 10 40013 3942075 3932129 2026-05-17T14:40:47Z Codename Noreste 3154048 Adding a documentation template. 3942075 wikitext text/x-wiki <templatestyles src="Module:Message box/tmbox.css"/><templatestyles src="Talk header/styles.css" />{{#ifeq: {{{bottom}}} | yes | {{Tmbox | small = {{{small|}}} | image = none | style = text-align: center | text = {{Strong|Please place new discussions at the bottom of the talk page.}} }} }}<table role="presentation" class="tmbox tmbox-notice talkheader plainlinks" id="talkheader" style="border-collapse: separate;"><tr> <td style="border-bottom: 1px solid #c0c090; font-weight: bold;">{{#ifeq:{{NAMESPACE}}|User talk|This is [[{{#if:{{{1|}}}|User:{{{1}}}|{{SUBJECTPAGENAME}}}}|{{{1|{{PAGENAME}}}}}]]'s [[Help:Talk page|talk page]], where you can send messages and comments to {{{1|{{PAGENAME}}}}}.|This is the [[Help:Talk page|talk page]] for discussing improvements {{#if:{{{wp|}}}|[[:{{SUBJECTPAGENAME}}|{{PAGENAME}}]] and anything related to its purposes and tasks|improvements to the [[:{{{1|{{SUBJECTPAGENAME}}}}}]] {{pagetype}}}}.}}</td> </tr> <tr> <td> <div class="talkheader-body"> <div class="talkheader-help"> * '''Put new text under old text.''' [{{fullurl:{{TALKPAGENAMEE}}|action=edit&section=new}} Click here to start a new topic]. * '''Please sign and date your posts''' by typing four tildes (<code><nowiki>~~~~</nowiki></code>). *'''New to Wikiquote?''' [[Wikiquote:Welcome, newcomers|Welcome]]! 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He's crass. He's family.'''}} == Buck Russell== * ''[On the way to his brother's]'' Oh boy, those kids. I haven't seen those kids in a while. Tia's gotta be nine. Nine, maybe ten. Oh boy. And the two new ones. They're uh... Larry and... uh... Larry and, uh... Uh... Betsy. Betsy, uh... Jennifer. Jennifer. Larry and Jennifer. Nice kids. * ''[Imitating a radio DJ while making breakfast]'' It’s 7:02 in the a.m., you’re listening to “W-I-don’t-have-to-go-to-work-today” brought to you by Kobolowski Tires. For the best in tires see Chanice! Kobolowski. * ''[serving gigantic pancakes to Miles for his birthday]'' You should see the toast. I couldn't even get it through the door! * ''[struggling to open the washing machine]'' Do I have to talk dirty to you? Come on! Open up for daddy! I'm gonna shove a load into you! Here we go! Come on, it's nice and easy. Aaah! Come on, here we go! Ah! Take that! Take that! Come on! You don't want the crowbar, do you? Come on! OPEN UP! UUGGHH! I'm gonna shove my load into you whether you like it or not! * ''[to Maizy's principal]'' I don't think I want to know a six-year-old who isn't a dreamer, or a sillyheart. And I sure don't want to know one who takes their student career seriously. I don't have a college degree. I don't even have a job. But I know a good kid when I see one. Because they're ALL good kids, until dried-out, brain-dead skags like you drag them down and convince them they're no good. You so much as scowl at my niece, or any other kid in this school, and I hear about it, I'm coming looking for you! Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam. == Tia Russell == * ''[They're eating Chinese take-out]'' This is such a wonderful dinner, Mother. How DO you find the time? * ''[to her mother]'' If my whole family moved away from me, I'd have a heart attack too. * Hey, Mom. Next time you take off in the middle of the night, why don't you hire a murderer to watch the house? == Others == * '''Marcie Dahlgren-Frost''': Marcie Dahlgren-Frost. Dahlgren is my maiden name, Frost is my married name. I'm single again, but I never bothered to remove the frost. And I get compliments on the hyphen. * '''E. Roger Cogswell''': ''[to Buck]'' You gotta let somebody know where you are. I've been checking car trunks for your corpse. == Dialogue == :'''Cindy Russell''': When Dad goes to New York, I'm going to take a week off work. :'''Tia''': So you can interview new housekeepers? :'''Cindy Russell''': I've had enough of your ugliness. :'''Tia''': Oh really? :'''Cindy Russell''': Mm-hmm. We're all just a little tired of the act <hr width="50%"/> :'''Maizy''': I don't know why we need boys at all. They're so loud. :'''Miles''': ''[off-screen]'' Shut up! :'''Maizy''': Shut up, yourself! :'''Tia''': We need boys so they can grow up, get married, and turn into shadows. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Buck and Chanice are sitting at a table in a bar]'' :'''Chanice''': How’s that pie? :'''Buck''': It’s not bad! :'''Chanice''': You gonna be at work in the morning? :'''Buck''': I don’t see how I can avoid it. :'''Chanice''': You don’t seem very happy about it. :'''Buck''': All right, if you gotta know, I’m really not that excited about going to work for my girlfriend. There, I said it. It’s out of the way. :'''Chanice''': Okay, Buck, I love you, I can’t help myself, I wanna get married, I wanna have a family, I wanna do it with you! Well, you know, the clock is ticking away here. I would just like to hear the pitter-patter of tiny feet before I die. :'''Buck''': I’ll get ya a mouse and a piece of sheet metal. [chuckles] :''[Chanice gives him an unimpressed look]'' :'''Buck''': Come on. Lighten up, will ya? :'''Chanice''': Don’t push my button. I’m not gonna get into this. :'''Buck''': I’m not pushing your buttons. I know me. I know what I like. All right? I like my friends. I like my freedom. I like knowing I can throw my sticks in the truck of my car and go golfing any time I want. I don’t hurt anybody, I don’t see what the problem is. :'''Chanice''': That is the best formula for loneliness I ever heard. :'''Buck''': Why are we arguing? :'''Chanice''': We’re talking. :'''Buck''': I said I’d be at working in the morning, I’ll be there. :'''Chanice''': Okay. ''[pauses]'' I…I just gotta get this out. I mean I know I’m like harping on something here, but, you know, just let me say it, I’m working on history, I’m working on the past, you’re gonna show up for work, you swear to God? In the A.M.? Promise? :'''Buck''': Chanice, I’ll be honest with you; if I could think of an excuse that you would buy, I’d use it. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Buck knocks on the door of a house and there is no answer]'' :'''Buck''': Bob. Bob? This isn’t funny! C’mon! Wake up! I’m freezing my ass off out here! :'''Bob''':'' [watching from the front window as Buck yells at the house across the street]'' Oh shit… :'''Buck''': C’mon I’m getting mad Bob. Yo, Bobby!! :'''Bob''': '' [steps out the front door]'' Buck? :'''Buck''': Bob? :'''Bob''': Buck! :'''Buck''': Bob? :'''Bob''': Buck! :'''Buck''': Bob? :'''Bob''': Over here! :'''Buck''': ''[pauses, realizing he’s shown up to the wrong house]'' Do you have any idea how many big white houses there are on this street? :''[Dogs on the street begin barking at the commotion]'' :'''Bob''': Shh! :'''Buck''': What? :'''Bob''': Keep it down. :'''Buck''': What? What do you want me to do with my car? :'''Neighbour''': ''[off-screen]'' For crying out loud! :'''Bob''': Oh, uh, sorry Mr. Hatfield! :'''Mr. Hatfield''': It's 2 A.M.! :'''Buck''': ''[to Bob as he walks up to the front door]'' How ya doin'? Hey sorry I'm late. :'''Bob''': Oh no, thats ok. Thanks for coming. :'''Buck''': Hey, what happened to the moustache? :'''Bob''': Oh. I had to shave it off :'''Buck''': How's Cindy? :'''Bob''': Not well. Not well. :'''Buck''': Her dad? :'''Bob''': Hard to say. :'''Buck''': All those medical terms huh? What is it, an infarction or something like that? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Buck''': Hey, I stopped smoking cigarettes. :'''Cindy Russell''': Oh, good. :'''Buck''': Isn't that something? I'm on to cigars now. I'm on to a five-year plan. I eliminated cigarettes, then I go to cigars, then I go to pipes, then I go to chewing tobacco, then I'm on to that nicotine gum. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Miles''': Where do you live? :'''Buck''': In the city. :'''Miles''': You have a house? :'''Buck''': Apartment. :'''Miles''': Own or rent? :'''Buck''': Rent. :'''Miles''': What do you do for a living? :'''Buck''': Lots of things. :'''Miles''': Where's your office? :'''Buck''': I don't have one. :'''Miles''': How come? :'''Buck''': I don't need one. :'''Miles''': Where's your wife? :'''Buck''': Don't have one. :'''Miles''': How come? :'''Buck''': It's a long story. :'''Miles''': You have kids? :'''Buck''': No I don't. :'''Miles''': How come? :'''Buck''': It's an even longer story. :'''Miles''': Are you my dad's brother? :'''Buck''': What's your record for consecutive questions asked? :'''Miles''': 38. :'''Buck''': I'm your dad's brother all right. :'''Miles''': You have much more hair in your nose than my dad. :'''Buck''': How nice of you to notice. :'''Miles''': I'm a kid, that's my job. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Buck''': What time do you want me to pick you up after school? :'''Tia''': Don't bother! I'll get a ride with friends. :'''Buck''': No, I have my orders. What time? :'''Tia''': Are you really this stupid? I said I would get a ride. I always get a ride. :'''Buck''': Hey, I'll just call the school, find out what time, and meet you right here. :'''Tia''': Go ahead, call the school. I won't be here. :'''Buck''': Stand me up today and tomorrow I'll drive you to school in my robe and pajamas and WALK you to your first class. 4:00 okay? :'''Tia''': I'm stunned that I'm related to you. :'''Buck''': You get the pole out of your keister, we're gonna get along just fine. :'''Tia''': Did you ever have anyone embarrass you like this? :'''Buck''': ''[After a short pause]'' No. :''[After Tia gets out of the car]'' :'''Buck''': Do you think she hates me? :'''Maizy''': With a passion. :'''Buck''': Really? Do you think it's the hat? :'''Maizy''': No. :'''Buck''': No? A lot of people hate this hat. It angers a lot of people, just the sight of it. Ah, I'll tell you a story about that on the way to school. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Buck's beat-up old car pulls up]'' :'''Bug''': Ever hear of a tune-up? Hee hee hee hee hee. :'''Buck''': ''[Mockingly]'' Ah-hee-hee-hee! Ever hear of a ritual killing? Ah-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee! :'''Bug''': I don't get it. :'''Buck''': You gnaw on her face in public like that again and you'll be one. Ah-hee-hee-hee-hee. :''[Bug leans in to kiss Tia when Buck drives off suddenly, barely missing Bug’s head]'' :'''Tia''': Are you crazy? :'''Buck''': I can be. :'''Tia''': You could have taken his head off! :'''Buck''': Yeah, but would he notice? :'''Tia''': Can we get something straight? :'''Buck''': The guy's a predator and you're his prey. :'''Tia''': Really? :'''Buck''': You bet. :'''Tia''': And how would you know? :'''Buck''': When I was his age, I was a guy zooming girls like you. Pretty face, good chip on your shoulder. :'''Tia''': I recommend you stay out of my personal life! :'''Buck''': Do your parents stay out of your personal life? :'''Tia''': They don't know my personal life. :'''Buck''': Have they met twiddle-dink? :'''Tia''': His name is Bug. :'''Buck''': ''[chuckles]'' First or last? :'''Tia''': First! :'''Buck''': What's his last name, Spray? :'''Tia''': You should talk, "Buck." <hr width="50%"/> :''[Chanice is listening to an answering machine message from Buck]'' :'''Buck''': Chanice? Buck. [to himself] I hate these machines. Look I’m just calling to say I miss you. I know you probably don’t believe it but it’s true, no I haven’t been drinking. I’ve been thinking a lot about you and what we talked about in the past few weeks. I think about you all the time, I think about those two little dimples on your buns. Hahaha. :'''Chanice''': Dimples! :'''Buck''': What do we call them? One... one was on the right, 'was Lyndon and left was... :'''Chanice''': It's Johnson. :'''Buck''': Johnson. :''[Chanice laughs]'' :'''Buck''': And then there was your boobs we did. Now, your boobs were Minnie and Mickey, I remember that because of Disney World. And Felix! Felix is what we called your... :''[cut to the next scene, where a cat meows loudly]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Buck''': Did you brush your teeth? :'''Miles''': Yeah. You can even feel my toothbrush. :'''Buck''': You know, I have a friend who works at the crime lab at the police station. I could give him your toothbrush and he could run a test on it. To see if you actually brushed your teeth or just ran your toothbrush under the faucet. :''[Buck leaves, as Miles gawks]'' :'''Maizy''': If that's true, we're gonna really have to start brushing our teeth. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Buck''': What, did you have a few drinks this morning? Huh? Yeah, I think you did. :'''Pooter-the-Clown''': What are you? [[w:Mother Cabrini|Mother Cabrini]]? You never touch the stuff? :'''Buck''': No, no. It's just that I wouldn't be drinking if I was going to entertain some kids. You know? :'''Pooter-the-Clown''': I don't have to take any shit from you! You know who I am? In the field of local-live-home entertainment, I'm a god! :'''Buck''': Get in your mouse, and get out of here. :'''Pooter-the-Clown''': Hey, you, let me tell you something you low-life, lying, four-flushing, sack-of-shit. :''[Buck punches him in the face, Pooter drops, then gets back up like an inflatable clown and shakes the pain off]'' :'''Pooter-the-Clown''': ''[growls]'' :''[Buck punches him again, knocking him out]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[at a meeting with the assistant principal, who has a large unsightly growth on her face]'' :'''Anita''': I'm Anita Hoargarth. :'''Buck Russell''': ''[Staring at it]'' Buck Melanoma, Moley Russell's wart. ''[she gives him a look]'' Not her wart, not her wart. I'm... I'm the wart. She's my tumor. My... my growth. My... uh, my pimple. I'm Uncle Wart. Just old Buckwart Russell. That's what they call me, or Melanoma Head. They'll call me that. "Melanoma Head's coming!" I'm s... uncle! Maisy Russell's uncle! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Maizy's Teacher''': Does anybody have a special story to tell the class about something that happened this week? :''[Maizy raises her hand]'' :'''Maizy's Teacher''': Maizy? :'''Maizy''': My uncle was microwaving our socks and the dog threw up on the couch for about an hour. :'''Maizy's Teacher''': Honest? :'''Maizy''': Yes :'''Maizy's Teacher''': Why was your uncle microwaving your socks? :'''Maizy''': He can't get the Goddamn washing machine to work. :'''Maizy's Teacher''': ''[picks up a ruler]'' BLASPHEMER! <hr width="50%"/> :''[Tia is sitting in the front room, looking out the window. Miles and Maizy walk in]'' :'''Miles''': Waiting for your sex? :'''Tia''': Shut up. :''[Buck walks down the stairs and into the front room where Tia, Miles and Maizy are]'' :'''Buck''': Tia? What’d you blow all that make-up for? We’re just going bowling. :'''Tia''': I’m not going bowling. :'''Buck''': C’mon it’s a great sport and it’s virtually impossible to get pregnant while doing it. If you catch my drift. :'''Tia''': You’re disgusting! I’ll die before I go anywhere with you. :'''Miles''': It’s gonna be fun! :'''Maizy''': They have rent-a-shoes! :'''Tia''': And rent-a-foot disease! :'''Buck''': We've done the battle of the wills. The deck's stacked in my favor. You're just gonna lose again. :'''Tia''': Try me. :'''Buck''': How would you like to spend the next several nights wondering if your crazy, out-of-work, bum uncle will shave your head while you sleep? See you in the car. ''[Smiles and mimes electric clippers, making a buzzing sound]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Tia''': ''[after over-hearing Roger talk about Chanice]'' What’s a “Chanice”? :'''Buck''': That’s someone who’s sometimes seen around a Buck. :'''Tia''': Your girlfriend? :'''Buck''': A friend. And, yes, she is a girl. :'''Tia''': Are you supposed to marry her or something? :'''Buck''': The subject has come up, yes, but nothing serious. :'''Tia''': Maybe if you got married, you’d stop being such an asshole. ''[she gives Buck a sly look]'' :'''Buck''': ''[while smoking a cigar]'' Cigar? :'''Tia''': No. Thanks. :'''Buck''': Let me know if you change your mind. :'''Tia''': ''[sarcastically]'' I will. :'''Buck''': I’ll get it nice and juicy for ya. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Buck''': Well, well, well, they certainly are scraping the bottom of the barrel for cheerleaders these days. :'''Tia''': What are you doing here? :'''Buck''': We were just driving by to get some ice cream. Thought you might like to join us. :'''Tia''': I said I would be home at 10. It's not even 9! :'''Buck''': Who said anything about that? I thought you might like to join us for some ice cream. Maybe your Bug here can join us. We can talk about burying the hatchet. You know what a hatchet is, don't you, Bug? :'''Bug''': It's an ax? :'''Buck''': Sort of, yeah, yeah. I got one in my car if you'd like to see it. :'''Bug''': I'll pass. :'''Buck''': Fair enough. I like to carry it, you never know when you're going to need it. A situation may come up, say, for example, someone has been drinking, and about to drive a loved one home, then I'd like to know I have it. Not to kill, no. Just to maim. Take a little off the shoulder. Swish! The elbow. Slash! Shave a little meat off the old kneecap. Fowap! Ooooo! You got both kneecaps? I like to keep mine razor sharp. Sharp enough you can shave with it. Why, I've been known to circumcise a gnat. You're not a gnat, are you, Bug? Wait a minute, bug, gnat. Is there a little similarity? Whoaaa, I think there is! Ha ha ha. You understand what I'm talking about? I don't think you do. I'll be right back. Heh heh heh heh. :''[walks away]'' :'''Tia''': I'm sorry. :'''Bug''': Look, I think you'd better split. I don't exactly want him to go berserk with an ax on me. :'''Tia''': He's all talk. :''[Buck pulls out a small hatchet from his car]'' :'''Buck''': Here it is! Come over, come on, I want to show it to you. Maybe later. Okay. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Miles and Maisey watch Tia make out with her boyfriend]'' :'''Miles''': That's a pretty stupid thing to do during flu season. :'''Maisey''': I'll bet she's getting the tongue! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Tia''': Uncle Buck? :'''Buck''': Yeah? :'''Tia''': Got a minute? :'''Buck''': I got lots of minutes. :'''Tia''': Now that everything's okay with my grandfather, I want to go out tomorrow night. :'''Buck''': You can go crazy after I leave. Until then, I'm not letting you out of my sight. :'''Tia''': You just can't find any way to be cool, can you? :'''Buck''': You mean easy? No. :'''Tia''': I mean decent! :'''Buck''': You mean blind! :'''Tia''': Who are you trying to score points with? My parents? How many times have they had you over here since we moved? Try none until they went up shit-creek and got stuck! :'''Buck''': Get used on your parent's time. :'''Tia''': Hey, Buck? :'''Buck''': Yeah? :'''Tia''': Have a bad day today? It hurts when someone else messes with your life, doesn't it? <hr width="50%"/> :''[Buck is stopped at a red light on his way to pick up Tia from a party. A couple in another car pulls up beside him]'' :'''Man and woman in other car''': ''[in unison]'' Your car’s on fire! :'''Buck''': No, no, no it’s just a little oil. I’m looking for a party somewhere around here. :'''Woman''': Oh that’s on Toadawa Lane. :'''Buck''': My niece is there. :'''Woman''': Our son is there. :'''Buck''': Ah, kids. :'''Man''': I don’t think you oughta go in there with that hat on, they’ll kill ya :'''Buck''': Really? :'''Man''': Yeah. :'''Buck''': Thanks for the tip. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Buck''': You know there's uh, one family charity case who loves you very much. :'''Tia''': ''[crying]'' I'm sorry. :'''Buck''': Hey, come on. Nothing to be sorry about. I'm just glad I got a chance to know you again. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Buck has shown Tia, her ex-boyfriend, Bug who is gagged and tied up in the trunk of his car. He undoes the duct tape]'' :'''Bug''': You shithead! I could've suffocated in here! :'''Buck''': You know what I'd like you to do. You could be doing both of us a favor. I'd like you to apologize to this lady, please. :'''Bug''': I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! OK, ASSHOLE! I'M SORRY! :'''Buck''':''[Nowhere near satisfied with Bug's screaming apology]'' You may not know this, but I'm an amateur dentist. :'''Tia''': Oh yes, he is. :''[She laughs raising the drill in front of Bug, who is scared straight]'' :'''Bug''':''[Being serious]'' I'm sorry. == Cast == * [[w:John Candy|John Candy]] - Buck Russell * [[w:Jean Louisa Kelly|Jean Louisa Kelly]] - Tia Russell * [[w:Gaby Hoffmann|Gaby Hoffmann]] - Maizy Russell * [[w:Macaulay Culkin|Macaulay Culkin]] - Miles Russell * [[w:Amy Madigan|Amy Madigan]] - Chanice Kobolowski * [[w:Elaine Bromka|Elaine Bromka]] - Cindy Russell * [[w:Garrett M. Brown|Garrett M. Brown]] - Bob Russell * [[w:Laurie Metcalf|Laurie Metcalf]] - Marcie Dahlgren-Frost * [[w:Jay Underwood|Jay Underwood]] - Bug == External links == {{wikipedia}} * {{imdb title|id=0098554|title=Uncle Buck}} * {{rotten-tomatoes|id=uncle_buck|title=Uncle Buck}} [[Category:1989 films]] [[Category:1980s American films]] [[Category:Comedy-drama films]] [[Category:Screenplays by John Hughes (filmmaker)]] [[Category:Films set in Chicago]] [[Category:Films directed by John Hughes]] [[Category:Films about dysfunctional families]] qlyvimoz29duo6rtnjcb1cdxv1hwpyv 0 53115 3942116 3892111 2026-05-17T17:50:49Z ~2026-29678-77 3323638 /* Other */ 3942116 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Death to Smoochy|Death to Smoochy]]''''' is a [[w:2002 in film|2002]] dark comedy about a former National KidNet television personality who, after being fired, goes out to seek revenge on "Smoochy the Rhino", the replacement host for his show. :''Written by [[w:Adam Resnick|Adam Resnick]]. Directed by [[w:Danny Devito|Danny DeVito]].'' ==Rainbow Randolph== * I despise you... '''I LOATHE YOU!!!''' Bastard son of [[w:Barney and Friends|Barney]]! Die! Die, you stuffed ball of fluff! You illegitimate [[w:Teletubbies|Teletubby]]! Die, you [[w:The Muppets|Muppet]] from hell! Die, you foam motherfucker! Die! Die! * Even when you're squeaky clean, you can still fall in the mud. * ''[Smoochy holds up a penis-shaped cookie made by Randolph]'' What are you, blind? It's a cock! It's not a rocket, you dumb fuck! It's a cock! Look. It's a cock and balls! A dick! Chorizo and the huevos! It's a big stiffy! Yeah, it's a penis! Penis maximus! A willie! A weenie! Mr. Jiggle Daddy! The one-eyed wonder weasel! Don't you see that? It's Jimmy and the twins. Rumple Foreskin. He made this. It's made from dil-dough. * You better grow eyes in the back of your fucking head, you horned piece of shit, because I'm not gonna sleep until [[worms]] are crawling right up your foamy rubber ass! I'm going on a safari, motherfucker! SAH-FAR-I! ''[makes an elephant noise]'' * ''[to a baby, after framing Sheldon]'' Hello, little nipple-nibbler. The rhino's a Nazi! * ''[after getting egged]'' I've been shot! I'm bleeding! [[w:Salmonella|Salmonella]]! You're a lawyer! That's salmonella! * ''[after being assaulted by Tommy and her henchmen]'' All right, you spudsucking fucks! I'm suing your Riverdance ass! [heavy Irish accent] I'm gonna send you all the way back home, eh?! * ''[to Sheldon]'' Do not start with your magician's tricks, young Moses! I am Pharaoh! And you are my slave...and this is my kingdom! ''[starts singing to the tune of Old MacDonald Had a Farm]'' Rainbow Randolph is the man; Yes, oh, yes, he is! He's the king of Rainbowland; Yes, oh, yes, he is! With some fun, fun here and a laugh, laugh there, Here a dance, there a song; everything is fun, fun! Rainbow Randolph is the King ''[stars to cry]'' La, la, la, la...''[covers his face]'' * "Friends Come in all Sizes!" ==Sheldon Mopes/Smoochy== * ''[singing]'' Where can you go when skies turn grey? Where the sun always shines and the animals play? Where every day is a happy day? Well, Smoochy's here to show the way! * When my brothers and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker. * ''[singing]'' He slams the door, He stomps his feet, He sends me to bed with zilch to eat. But my step-dad's not mean, he's just adjusting. * Captain Kangaroo, like [[Jesus]], was someone you could really believe in. With those guys, it wasn't about the bells and whistles and the ricketa-racketa; it was all about the work. Especially Jesus. * Now I'm not pointing any fingers, Lord knows you start pointing fingers and someone's gonna get poked. And I want you both to know that its not my intention to try and poke either of you. * You can't change the world but you can make a dent. * Someone toss me a beach towel because my head is swimming. * Let's face it. Big junkies come from little junkies. We gotta nip this in the bud, Burke! * There are a lot of kids and a lot of junkies out there who are counting on me. * Wasn't that fun in an Awkward Way? * BURKE!!! * BURKE! BURKE, GET BACK HERE!!! * You just F**ked up with the wrong rhino... ==Other== * '''Angelo Pike''': He was jacked up higher than a prom dress in June. * '''Tommy Cotter''': ''[at a funeral]'' It's a shame this happened. Okay, now let's go pray and get shit-faced. * '''Nora Wells''': You're here to sell sugar and plastic. '''Nora Wells''': Sheldon, He Set You Up! Look Up There he Is! He's Getting Away Sheldon! No! Sheldon! * '''Merv Green''': Wipe your forehead Frank, you got plenty of time to sweat. * '''Merv Green''': Eventually we all grow old and die, only sometimes the growing old part doesn't happen. * '''Buggy Ding Dong''' I NEVER SAW VENICE! (Screams) * '''KidNet CEO''' Here at the KidNet Jungle, The rhino, is now extinct. ==Dialogue== :'''Randolph''': You want your little booger eater on my show? :'''Wife''': Yes, very much. :'''Randolph''': Then don't tell me how to run my fucking business. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Tommy''': We're going to find him, cut off his balls, and shove 'em up his ass. :'''Sheldon''': Well, maybe we should leave that for the cops, Tommy. :'''Roy''': Cops won't do the ball thing, it's against procedure. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Sheldon''': I'll be in my office, the big one with a view! :'''Nora''': They all have views, you dumb shit! :'''Sheldon''': Not looking this way, cupcake! <hr width="50%"/> :''[Randolph mentions his long-ago affair with Nora]'' :'''Nora''': That was a long time ago. I was young and stupid. :'''Randolph''': And limber. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Merv gets kidnapped by the mob]'' :'''Merv Green''': It was a mistake! An honest mistake! I only did it to help the children! :'''Tommy Kotter''': You like kids, eh? :'''Merv Green''': Yes! :'''Tommy Kotter''': You like fairy tales, then? :'''Merv Green''': Yeah! :'''Tommy Kotter''': Jimmy, tell him the one about the worthless prick that got his head chopped off with an axe. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Tommy Kotter''': Roy, have you got the hammer? :'''Roy''': Always got the hammer, Tommy. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Bartender''': I never saw anyone get buzzed off of orange juice. :'''Sheldon''': Let me tell you a secret - if you squirt a little liquid alfalfa in, it's blast-off time. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Reporter''': How does it feel to be the most hated man in America? :'''Randolph''': In this country full of neanderthals, I wear it as a fucking badge of honor. :'''Reporter 2''': Nora Wells says you have an unhealthy obsession with Mopes. :'''Randolph''': I barely know that bitch, okay? And she's been down on everything but the ''Titanic''. She spreads like cream cheese for Sheldon. :'''Reporter 3''': What about the rumors that you're mentally imbalanced? :'''Randolph''': WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT?! THAT'S BULLSHIT!!! I'm not mentally imbalanced. I'm on the same dosage I've always been. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Randolph has found out that Sheldon is dating Nora in the newspaper.]'' :'''Randolph''': ''[calm, but livid]'' First, he takes my career, then my life, now my girl. :'''Angelo''': Calm down, Randy, she's not your girl anymore. :'''Randolph''': ''[loses his temper]'' The balls on that fuchsia '''FUCK!!!''' ''[rips apart the newspaper]'' I'm gonna tear him APART! Piece by piece! PIECE BY PIECE! :'''Angelo''': You said it's time to heal, now stop it. :'''Randolph''': ''[grabs Angelo]'' I'm going to take him apart. Hoof by hoof! Horn by horn! ONCE AND FOR ALL, NOW AND FOREVER!!! :'''Angelo''': What happened to graciously marching forward? :'''Randolph''': ''[walks up to a window and screams into the sky]'' '''''MOTHERFUCKER!!!''''' <hr width="50%"/> :''[As Randolph and Buggy dangle from a ceiling catwalk]'' :'''Randolph''': Let go of me you FUCKING JUNKIE! :''[As Buggy loses his grip, plummeting to his death]'' :'''Buggy''': I never saw Venice! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cop''': Are you okay? :'''Randolph''': I don't know. I'm kinda fucked up in general, so it's hard to gauge. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Randolph''': I'm a fraud. I'm a wicked man who's done some wicked acts. :'''Sheldon''': Well, it's like the song says... ''[flips the gun's cylinder in place]'' We all have our bad days. <hr width="50%"/> :''[After the ice show, Sheldon and Burke confront each other in the tunnel as Burke pulls out his gun and points at Sheldon.]'' :'''Burke''': You pull a gun on me? A gun I gave you as a gift? Where's your etiquette? Let me tell you a little secret about owning a gun. :'''Sheldon''': Oh, yeah? What's that? :'''Burke''': You have to cock it. :'''Nora''': ''[aims the gun at Burke's head]'' Drop it, shithead! :''[Burke turns to see Nora and drops his gun. Sheldon stands next to Nora and points the gun at Burke.]'' :'''Sheldon''': Don't you move! :'''Nora''': Sheldon. :'''Sheldon''': You okay? :'''Nora''': Yeah. :'''Sheldon''': You... :'''Burke''': Take it easy. :'''Sheldon''': You were my agent. HOW COULD YOU SET ME UP LIKE THAT?! :'''Burke''': It was just circumstances-- :'''Sheldon''': CIRCUMSTANCES?! YOU KILLED SPINNER, BURKE!!! :'''Burke''': It was a tragic mistake. I wish I could turn back time. :'''Sheldon''': He was my friend, you son of a bitch! ''[punches Burke]'' :'''Nora''': Sheldon! :'''Sheldon''': Get up! Get up and look at me! :'''Burke''': What are you gonna do, shoot me? :'''Sheldon''': Yeah! :'''Burke''': That's not very Smoochy-like behavior. :'''Sheldon''': ''[takes his Smoochy costume off]'' I don't feel very Smoochy-like right now, Burke! :'''Burke''': Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, Sheldon-- :'''Sheldon''': ''[grabs Burke by the shirt]'' I'll tell you something. You just fucked with the wrong rhino, pal. ==Taglines== * Get ready for an unexpected hit. * He's Big, He's Blue, He's Smoochy... and He's got to DIE! * It's the Rhino vs. the Wino... with a little help from the mob * The Blackest Comedy on Children's Television! * It's a kids show... with gangsters, bribery and corruption! * Welcome to the Dark Side of Children's Television * We're all looking for a movie to take our children to, This is not that movie. ==Cast== * [[Robin Williams]] * [[Edward Norton]] * [[w:Catherine Keener|Catherine Keener]] * [[Jon Stewart]] * [[Danny DeVito]] * [[Harvey Fierstein]] ==External Links== {{wikipedia|Death to Smoochy}} * {{imdb title|id=0266452|title=Death to Smoochy}} [[Category:2002 films]] [[Category:2000s American films]] [[Category:Black comedy films]] [[Category:Films about the Irish Mob]] [[Category:Films about rhinoceroses]] [[Category:Films about television]] 654rd3tyaudzckd6b751dk2o67fg4h8 0 67073 3942259 3809339 2026-05-18T08:28:24Z Paladyn-john 2828337 add 'We travel not for trafficking alone' to Act 5,sc. 2 quote 3942259 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:James Elroy Flecker at Cambridge.jpg|thumb|250px|James Elroy Flecker (circa 1905)]] '''[[w:James Elroy Flecker|James Elroy Flecker]]''' ([[November 5]] [[1884]] – [[January 3]] [[1915]]) was an English poet, novelist and playwright. As a poet he was most influenced by the [[w:Parnassian poets|Parnassian poets]]. == Quotes== * I care not if you bridge the seas,<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; Or ride secure the cruel sky,<br>Or build consummate palaces<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; Of metal or of masonry.<br>'''But have you wine and music still,<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; And statues and a bright-eyed love,<br>And foolish thoughts of good and ill,<br>&nbsp;&nbsp; And prayers to them who sit above?''' ** "To a Poet a Thousand Years Hence", ll. 5-12. ''Forty-two Poems'' (1911) * O friend unseen, unborn, unknown,<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;Student of our sweet English tongue,<br>Read out my words at night, alone:<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;I was a poet, I was young. ** "To a Poet a Thousand Years Hence", ll. 17-20. ''Forty-two Poems'' (1911) * West of these out to seas colder than the Hebrides <br> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; I must go <br> &nbsp;&nbsp; Where the fleet of stars is anchored and the young <br> &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Star captains glow. ** "The Dying Patriot", st. 3. ''The English Review'' (Sept. 1911) p. 189 * We who with songs beguile your pilgrimage: <br> &nbsp;&nbsp; And swear that Beauty lives though lilies die, <br> We Poets of the proud old lineage <br> &nbsp;&nbsp; Who sing to find your hearts, we know not why. ** ''The Golden Journey to Samarkand'' (1913) Prologue * When even lovers find their peace at last, <br> And Earth is but a star, that once had shone. ** ''The Golden Journey to Samarkand'' (1913) Prologue * When the great markets by the sea shut fast<br>All that calm Sunday that goes on and on:<br>When even lovers find their peace at last,<br>And Earth is but a star, that once had shone. ** ''The Golden Journey to Samarkand'' (1913) <!--(l. 7)--> * I have seen old ships sail like swans asleep. ** "The Old Ships", l. 1. ''The Old Ships'' (1915) * A ship, an isle, a sickle moon — <br> With few but with how splendid stars. ** "A Ship, An Isle, A Sickle Moon", l. 1. ''Collected Poems'', ed. J. C. Squire (1916) * The poet's business is not to save the soul of man but to make it worth saving. ** Quoted in [[w:Louis Untermeyer|Louis Untermeyer]], ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=GiwMAQAAIAAJ&q=%22The+poet's+business%22+%22is+not+to+save+the+soul+of+man+but+to+make+it+worth+saving%22&pg=PA178#v=onepage Modern British Poetry]'' (Harcourt, Brace and Howe, 1920) === ''Hassan'' (1922) === :<small>''The Story of Hassan of Bagdad and How He Came to Make the Golden Journey to Samarkand''</small> * And some to Meccah turn to pray, and I toward thy bed, Yasmin. ** Act 1, sc. 2 (Hassan) * The hour that dreams are brighter and winds colder, <br>The hour that young love wakes on a white shoulder, <br>O Master of the world, the Persian Dawn. {{pb}} That hour, O Master, shall be bright for thee:<br>Thy merchants chase the morning down the sea,<br>The braves who fight thy war unsheathe the sabre,<br>The slaves who work thy mines are lashed to labour,<br>For thee the waggons of the world are drawn—<br>The ebony of night, the red of dawn! ** Act 2, sc. 2 **:<small>Cf. ''[[On Her Majesty's Secret Service (film)|On Her Majesty's Secret Service]]'' (1969 film)</small> * We are the Pilgrims, master; we shall go<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;Always a little further; it may be<br>Beyond that last blue mountain barred with snow<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;Across that angry or that glimmering sea,{{pb}}White on a throne or guarded in a cave<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;There lies a prophet who can understand<br>Why men were born: but surely we are brave,<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;Who take the Golden Road to Samarkand. ** Act 5, sc. 2 ** Variant: "Who make the Golden Journey to Samarkand." **:<small>Cf. [[George MacDonald Fraser]], ''Flashman at the Charge'' (1973)</small> * We travel not for trafficking alone;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;By hotter winds our fiery hearts are fanned;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;For lust of knowing what should not be known,<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;We take the Golden Road to Samarkand. ** Act 5, sc. 2 == External links == {{wikipedia}} * {{gutenberg author| id=James+Elroy+Flecker | name=James Elroy Flecker}} *[http://www.gardenvisit.com/garden_history/west_asia/golden-road-samarkand.htm Comment and images relating to Flecker's The Golden Journey ('Road') to Samarkand] {{DEFAULTSORT:Flecker, J. E.}} [[Category:1884 births]] [[Category:1915 deaths]] [[Category:Poets from England]] [[Category:Playwrights from England]] [[Category:Novelists from England]] [[Category:People from London]] 13rv2gr669akqxioey0eqor7ff67zz7 0 72597 3942126 3886074 2026-05-17T18:19:03Z ~2026-29315-06 3322427 3942126 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Emblem of Vietnam.svg|thumb|Vietnam is [[strong]] [[eternal]]. ~ Van Cao]] [[File:Flag of Vietnam.svg|thumb|Kiss me goodbye and write me while I'm gone. Goodbye my sweetheart, hello Vietnam. ~ [[w:Dave Dudley|Dave Dudley]]]] [[File:Flag of the Communist Party of Vietnam.svg|thumb|Vietnam was never all that ideologically [[Communism|communist]]. It was always more socialist and nationalist. I told them they should stop calling themselves 'the [[Communism|communist]] [[party]]', but I didn't get anywhere with it. Everybody pays for everything over there, including healthcare. The government hardly provides anything. Sweden is more socialist than Vietnam. ~ [[w:Pete Peterson|Pete Peterson]]]] [[File:Long_bien_bridge.jpg|thumb|We the People remain resolute in our hearts and minds. Courageously we will fight such that everywhere, the Glory of the Vietnamese forever resounds! ~ [[w:Lưu Hữu Phước|Lưu Hữu Phước]]]] [[File:Vietcong_Guerrilla_Patrols.jpg|thumb|I used to see Vietnam as a [[war]] rather than a [[Countries|country]]. ~ [[John Pilger]]]] [[File:French_Indochina_c._1930.jpg|thumb|'''In Hanoi, the capital, in September 2nd, the provisional gouvernment was formed around President [[Ho Chi Minh]]; it presented itself to the nation, proclaimed the independence of Viet Nam, and called on the nation to unite, to hold itself in readiness to defend the country and to oppose all attempts at [[imperialist]] aggression. The [[w:North Vietnam|Democratic Republic of Viet Nam]] was born, the first people's democracy in South-east Asia.''' ~ [[Võ Nguyên Giáp]]]] [[File:Bâtiments_172.jpg|thumb|Vietnam’s century-old [[French]] [[w:Villas|villas]] and [[French Indochina|colonial-era]] [[government]] [[buildings]] are a draw for the 8 million [[tourists]] who visit the country every year. <br> “Even in France we don’t have so many examples of the beautiful [[w:Wrought-iron|wrought-iron]] [[w:Railing|railings]] and [[w:Staircase|staircases]] that you see here,” said French Consul General Emmanuel Ly-Batallan. ~ Zanna K. McKay]] The '''[[w:Vietnam|Socialist Republic of Vietnam]]''' ('''S.R.V.''') ([[w:Vietnamese|Vietnamese]]: ''Cộng hòa xã hội chủ nghĩa Việt Nam''), also known officially as simply '''Vietnam''' (Vietnamese: ''Việt Nam'') and spelled "the '''Socialist Republic of Viet Nam'''" ("'''S.R.V.N.'''") or "'''Viet Nam'''", is the easternmost country on the [[w:Indochina|Indochina Peninsula]] in [[w:Southeast Asia|Southeast Asia]]. With an estimated 90.5 million inhabitants as of 2014, it is the world's [[w:List of countries and dependencies by population|13th-most-populous country]], and the [[w:List of Asian countries by population|eighth-most-populous Asian country]]. [[w:Names of Vietnam|The name Vietnam]] translates as "Southern Viet" (synonymous with the much older term [[w:Nam Viet|Nam Viet]]); it was first officially adopted in 1802 by Emperor [[w:Gia Long|Gia Long]], and was adopted again in 1945 with the founding of the [[w:Democratic Republic of Vietnam|Democratic Republic of Vietnam]] under [[Ho Chi Minh]]. The country is bordered by [[China]] to the north, [[w:Laos|Laos]] to the northwest, [[w:Cambodia|Cambodia]] to the southwest, and the [[w:South China Sea|South China Sea]] to the east. Its capital city has been [[w:Hanoi|Hanoi]] since the reunification of [[w:North Vietnam|North]] and [[w:South Vietnam|South Vietnam]] in 1976, following the conclusion of the [[Vietnam War]]. __NOTOC__ {{TOCalpha}} == Quotes == ===A=== * While [general secretary {{w|Nguyễn Phú Trọng}}] believes that the [Vietnamese Communist Party’s] legitimacy comes through anti-corruption campaigns, in reality, legitimacy primarily comes through performance.<br>…Contrary to strengthening the party, Trong has helped to delegitimize it, exposing the rot across the senior leadership, while at the same time slowing economic growth. He has also stifled civil society and [https://www.rfa.org/english/news/vietnam/lam-03262024160918.html independent media], which tries to hold the party leadership to account. ** Zachary Abuza, [https://www.rfa.org/english/commentaries/vietnam-corruption-thichminhtue-06192024112612.html "Mendicant monk Thích Minh Tuệ offers an embarrassing contrast to Vietnam elites"], ''Radio Free Asia'' (June 19, 2024) ===C=== * Vietnam is strong eternal. ** Van Cao, [https://web.archive.org/web/20110907132559/http://www.vietnamembassy-usa.org/learn_about_vietnam/politics/national_anthem/ "March to the Front"] (1944) ** Original Vietnamese: ''Nuoc non Vietnam ta vung ben.'' * Strap on my arm; the streets is feeling like Vietnam. ** [[w:David Banner|Lavell W. Crump]], [http://www.megalyrics.net/david-banner/bloody-war#strap-on-my-arm-the-streets-is-feeling-like-vietnam "Bloody War"] (2005), ''Certified''. ===D=== * The prime unifying motivation for [[revolution]] in Vietnam was the goal of throwing off foreign subjugation. For hundreds of years the Vietnamese fought against a multitude of enemies, taking on and often defeating [[China|Chinese]] armies, the forces of [[w:Kublai_Khan|Kubla Khan]], and numerous other foes before the [[20th century|twentieth century]]. [[w:Vietnamese_nationalism,|Vietnamese nationalism,]] although temporarily checked by the modern [[Weapon|weaponry]] of Western nations, experienced a rapid resurgence in the 1920s and, heightened further by [[Colonialism|colonial repression]], contributed greatly to the development of the revolution. ** James DeFronzo, ''Revolutions and Revolutionary Movements'', p. 160 * Kiss me goodbye and write me while I'm gone. Goodbye my sweetheart, hello Vietnam. ** {{w|Dave Dudley}}, as quoted in [http://www.metrolyrics.com/hello-vietnam-lyrics-dave-dudley.html "Hello Vietnam"] (1965), by Tom T. Hall, United Kingdom: Decca Records. ===G=== * In August 1945, the [[w:Surrender of Japan|capitulation of the Japanese forces]] before the {{w|Soviet Army}} and the [[w:Allies of World War II|Allied forces]], put an [[w:End of World War II in Asia|end to the world war]]. The defeat of the [[Nazi Germany|German]] and [[Japan during World War II|Nippon]] [[fascists]] was the beginning of a great weakening of the [[capitalist]] system. After the great victory of the [[Soviet Union]], many [[w:People's democracy (Marxism–Leninism)|people's democracies]] saw the light of day. The [[socialist]] system was no longer confined within the frontiers of a single country. A new historic era was beginning in the world. In view of these changes, in Viet Nam, the [[w:Indochinese_Communist_Party|Indo-chinese Communist Party]] and the [[w:Viet_Minh|Viet Minh]] called the whole Vietnamese nation to general [[insurrection]]. Everywhere, the people rose in a body. Demonstrations and displays of force followed each other uninterruptedly. In August, [[w:August Revolution|the Revolution]] broke out, neutralising the bewildered [[w:Imperial_Japanese_Armed_Forces|Nippon troops]], overthrowing the pro-Japanese [[Feudalism|feudal]] authorities, and installing people's power in Hanoi and throughout the country, in the towns as well as in the countryside, in Bac Bo as well as in Nam Bo. In Hanoi, the capital, in September 2nd, the provisional gouvernment was formed around President [[Ho Chi Minh]]; it presented itself to the nation, proclaimed the independence of Viet Nam, and called on the nation to unite, to hold itself in readiness to defend the country and to oppose all attempts at [[imperialist]] aggression. The [[w:North Vietnam|Democratic Republic of Viet Nam]] was born, the first people's democracy in South-east Asia. But the imperialists intended to nip the republican regime in the bud and once again transform [[Viet Nam]] into a colony. Three weeks had hardly gone by when, on September 23rd, 1945, the [[w:French Far East Expeditionary Corps|French Expeditionary Corps]] opened fire in Saigon. The whole was to be carried on for nine years at the cost of unprecedented heroism and amidst unimaginable difficulties, to end by the shining victory of our people and the crushing defeat of the aggressive imperialists at Dien Bien Phu. ... '''Never before had there been so many foreign troops on the soil of Viet Nam. But never before either, had the Vietnamese people been so determined to rise up in combat to defend their country.''' ** [[Võ Nguyên Giáp]], ''[https://www.marxists.org/archive/giap/1961-pwpa.pdf People’s War, People’s Army]''(1962). ===J=== * Our history this year we see in Vietnam. Men there are dying; men named Fernandez and Zajac and Zelinko and Mariano and McCormick. Neither the enemy who killed them nor the people whose independence they have fought to save ever asked them where they or their parents came from. They were all [[United States|Americans]]. It was for free men and for America that they gave their all, they gave their lives and selves. By eliminating that same question as a test for [[immigration]] the [[United States Congress|Congress]] proves ourselves worthy of those men and worthy of our own traditions as a nation ** [[Lyndon B. Johnson|Lyndon Johnson]], [http://www.lbjlibrary.org/lyndon-baines-johnson/timeline/lbj-on-immigration Remarks at the Signing of the Immigration Bill] (3 October 1965). * The people of Vietnam, north and south, seek the same things. The shared needs of man, the needs for food and shelter and education, the chance to build and work and till the soil, free from the arbitrary horrors of battle, the desire to walk in the [[dignity]] of those who master their own [[destiny]]. For many painful years, in war and revolution and infrequent [[peace]], they have struggled to fulfill those needs. It is a crime against mankind that so much [[courage]], and so much will, and so many dreams, must be flung on the fires of war and death... How many men who listen to me tonight have served their nation in other wars? How very many are not here to listen? The [[Vietnam War|war in Vietnam]] is not like these other wars. Yet, finally, [[war]] is always the same. It is young men dying in the fullness of their promise. It is trying to kill a man that you do not even know well enough to hate. Therefore, to know [[war]] is to know that there is still madness in this world. ** [[Lyndon B. Johnson|Lyndon Johnson]], [http://millercenter.org/president/speeches/speech-4035 State of the Union Address] (12 January 1966). * Last year the nature of the war in Vietnam changed again. Swiftly increasing numbers of armed men from the North crossed the borders to join forces that were already in the [[South Vietnam|South]]. Attack and terror increased, spurred and encouraged by the belief that the United States lacked the will to continue and that their victory was near. Despite our desire to limit conflict, it was necessary to act: to hold back the mounting aggression, to give courage to the people of the South, and to make our firmness clear to the North. Thus. we began limited air action against military targets in North Vietnam. We increased our fighting force to its present strength tonight of 190,000 men. These moves have not ended the aggression but they have prevented its success. The aims of the enemy have been put out of reach by the skill and the bravery of Americans and their allies—and by the enduring courage of the South Vietnamese who, I can tell you, have lost eight men last year for every one of ours. The enemy is no longer close to victory. Time is no longer on his side. There is no cause to doubt the American commitment. Our decision to stand firm has been matched by our desire for peace. ** [[Lyndon B. Johnson|Lyndon Johnson]], [http://millercenter.org/president/speeches/speech-4035 State of the Union Address] (12 January 1966). * I drop bombs like I was in Vietnam. ** [[w:Bizarre (rapper)|Rufus Johnson]], [http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/eminem/undertheinfluence.html "Under the Influence"] (2000), ''The Marshall Mathers LP''. ===L=== * Vietnam of course attacked [[Cambodia]]. ** [[James W. Loewen]], [http://sundown.afro.illinois.edu/ NGO Holiday Card] * We the People remain resolute in our hearts and minds. Courageously we will fight such that everywhere, the Glory of the Vietnamese forever resounds! ** {{w|Lưu Hữu Phước}}, "[[w:Thanh niên hành khúc|Thanh niên hành khúc]]" ** Original Vietnamese: ''Người Công Dân luôn vững bền tâm trí. Hùng tráng quyết chiến đấu làm cho khắp nơi. Vang tiếng người nước Nam cho đến muôn đời!'' * Bones have broken, and blood has fallen, the hatred is rising high. Our country has been separated for so long. Here, the sacred Mekong, here, glorious Truong Son Mountains are urging us to advance to kill the enemy. Shoulder to shoulder, under a common flag. Arise! ** {{w|Lưu Hữu Phước}}, "[[w:Giải phóng miền Nam|Liberate the South]]" (July 1969) ===M=== [[File:Mahathir Bin Mohamed, Prime Minister of Malaysia (2 version).jpg|thumb|The economic reforms under the theme of "doi moi" (eco- nomic reform) and "mo cua" (openness) introduced in 1986, have caused Vietnam to develop rapidly. ~ [[Mahathir Mohamad]]]] *The economic reforms under the theme of "doi moi" (eco- nomic reform) and "mo cua" (openness) introduced in 1986, have caused Vietnam to develop rapidly. With trade incen- tives and the generous terms offered to foreign investors, I am confident that more [[Malaysia|Malaysian]] businessmen and corpo- rations will be able to play an effective and mutually bene- ficial role in the Vietnamese economy. ** [[Mahathir Mohamad]] (23 April 1992) [https://www.pmo.gov.my/ucapan/?m=p&p=mahathir&id=1109] *Vietnam will pull ahead of [[Malaysia]] because its people are very diligent. ** [[Mahathir Mohamad]], [https://www.thestar.com.my/news/nation/2018/11/25/dr-m-malaysians-are-lazy-prefer-handouts-to-hard-work/?fbclid=IwY2xjawPcnPRleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZAwzNTA2ODU1MzE3MjgAAR4ti_6Eo4fwUikgAy-Vf6mSKhwoRQO0lg3yJRPOA1vB2DYMYA2FMvQ_SbgM5A_aem_1LSsEYktLxUg1ZmBJG_omg#VRK7HwR09vTkwsbt.01 Dr M: Malaysians are lazy, prefer handouts to hard work], (25 November 2018). * Vietnam’s century-old [[French]] [[w:Villas|villas]] and [[French Colonial Empire|colonial-era]] [[government]] [[buildings]] are a draw for the 8 million [[tourists]] who visit the country every year. <br> “Even in [[France]] we don’t have so many examples of the beautiful [[w:Wrought-iron|wrought-iron]] [[w:Railing|railings]] and [[w:Staircase|staircases]] that you see here,” said French Consul General Emmanuel Ly-Batallan. <br> Heavy [[w:Roof|roofs]] are designed to withstand [[typhoons]] and large [[w:Window|windows]] placed strategically to catch the [[breeze]]. The consulate, now dwarfed by a [[w:Skyscraper|skyscraper]] under [[construction]], is considered one of the best-preserved examples of the [[architecture]] of ''Cochinchina'', the French name for [[South Vietnam|southern Vietnam]]. ** Zanna K. McKay, [https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2017/03/04/vietnam-architectural-gems-disappearing/97098474/ “Vietnam's architectural gems are disappearing”], (March 4, 2017). * Let me go back one moment. In the [[Cuban Missile Crisis]], at the end, I think we did put ourselves in the skin of the [[Soviet Union|Soviets]]. In the case of Vietnam, we didn't know them well enough to empathize. And there was total misunderstanding as a result. They believed that we had simply replaced the [[French Colonial Empire|French]] as a [[Colonialism|colonial power]], and we were seeking to subject South and North Vietnam to our colonial interests, which was absolutely absurd. And we, we saw Vietnam as an element of the [[Cold War]]. Not what they saw it as: a civil war. ** [[Robert McNamara]], ''The Fog of War'' (2003) ===N=== * We lost, everyday, Vietnamese life, in fighting [[w:North Vietnam|the communists]]... [[Politics of the United States|American democracy]], maybe, cannot work in a [[Countries|country]] like mine, you know, in [[w:South Vietnam|South Vietnam]]. ** [[Nguyen Khanh]], as quoted in [http://openvault.wgbh.org/catalog/vietnam-f2fe66-interview-with-nguyen-khanh-1981 "Interview with Nguyen Khanh"] (29 April 1981), WGBH Media Library & Archives. * I remember that day clearly when I left [[w:Ho Chi Minh City|Saigon]]. I left [[w:South Vietnam|my country]] in [[honor]] that day... [[China]] presents Vietnam with a very big problem. China is taking over Vietnam, from Cholon, where there are rich [[Chinese people|Chinese]], to Haiphong. They are everywhere now with their product. My wife is from the North, people there resent China more than the South feared the Viet Cong. The Chinese are invaders — like any other foreigners — to fight. We must stop the Chinese. You know the dikes built on the Red River? If they break, what happens? A flood! ** [[Nguyen Khanh]], as quoted in [http://web.archive.org/web/20080921114015/http://65.45.193.26:8026/cms/acct/vietweekly/issues/vw3n18/english/bagOfEarth.html "A Bag of Earth, A Promise To Keep"] (28 April 2005), by Mike Nally, ''Viet Weekly''. * If [[United States|they]] want to assassinate [[w:Nguyễn Văn Thiệu|me]], it's easy. After that, just blame it on the [[w:Viet Cong|Việt Cộng]] or a coup d'etat plot. ** {{w|Văn Thiệu Nguyễn}}, as quoted in [http://antgct.cand.com.vn/News/PrintView.aspx?ID=53640 "Tổng thống Sài Gòn cũ Nguyễn Văn Thiệu và con đường chiến bại (kỳ III)"], by Phong Hoàn Công, ''Báo Công An Nhân Dân''. ** Original Vietnamese quote: ''Nếu [[United States|họ]] muốn ám sát tôi thì cũng dễ thôi. Rồi sau đó cứ việc đổ cho Việt Cộng hoặc là do âm mưu đảo chính''. * [[United States|They]] have back-stabbed [[w:South Vietnam|us]]. ** {{w|Văn Thiệu Nguyễn}}, as quoted in ''Việt Nam. Cuộc chiến 10.000 ngày. Tập 8 - Hòa bình''. ** Original Vietnamese quote: ''[[United States|Họ]] đã đâm sau lưng chúng tôi''. * No event in [[American history]] is more misunderstood than the Vietnam War. It was misreported then, and it is misremembered now. Rarely have so many people been so wrong about so much. Never have the consequences of their misunderstanding been so tragic. ** [[Richard Nixon]], as quoted in ''No More Vietnams'' (1987). *With a Vietnamese baby on your mind. **New York Dolls, ''Vietnamese Baby'' **The song appears to refer to the Vietnam war [https://oldtimemusic.com/the-meaning-behind-the-song-vietnamese-baby-by-new-york-dolls-2/] === O === * I also come here with a deep respect for Vietnam's ancient heritage. For millennia, farmers have tended these lands, a history revealed in the ''Đông Sơn'' drums. At this bend in the river, Hanoi has endured for more than a thousand years. The world came to treasure Vietnamese silks and paintings, and a great Temple of Literature stands as a testament to your pursuit of knowledge. And yet, over the centuries, your fate was too often dictated by others. Your beloved land was not always your own. But like bamboo, the unbroken spirit of the Vietnamese people was captured by [[Lý Thường Kiệt]]: "The Southern emperor rules the Southern land. Our destiny is writ in Heaven's Book." ** [[Barack Obama]], [https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/remarks-hanoi-vietnam Remarks in Hanoi, Vietnam]; 24 May 2016 ===P=== [[File:Pham Doan Trang-Headshot-e1646028486289-332x332.jpg|thumb|I don’t want freedom for just myself; that’s too easy. I want something greater: freedom for Vietnam. ~ Phạm Đoan Trang]] * I don’t want [[freedom]] for just myself; that’s too easy. I want something greater: freedom for Vietnam. It might seem like some grand goal, but it’s totally possible – with your support. ** {{w|Phạm Đoan Trang}}, as quoted in [https://www.rfa.org/english/news/vietnam/trang-pen-award-04112024231904.html "Jailed Vietnamese writer honored with international award"], ''Radio Free Asia'' (April 11, 2024) * I used to see Vietnam as a [[war]] rather than a country. ** [[John Pilger]], as quoted in ''Do you remember Vietnam?'' (1978). ===R=== * The decay of the [[Soviet Union|Soviet]] experiment should come as no surprise to us. Wherever the comparisons have been made between free and closed societies -- [[West Germany]] and [[East Germany]], [[Austria]] and [[wikipedia:Czechoslovakia|Czechoslovakia]], [[Malaysia]] and Vietnam -- it is the [[Democracy|democratic]] countries what are prosperous and responsive to the needs of their people. And one of the simple but overwhelming facts of our time is this: Of all the millions of [[Refugee|refugees]] we've seen in the modern world, their flight is always away from, not toward the [[Communism|Communist]] world. Today on the [[NATO]] line, our military forces face east to prevent a possible invasion. On the other side of the line, the Soviet forces also face east to prevent their people from leaving. ** [[Ronald Reagan]], [https://www.reaganlibrary.gov/archives/speech/address-members-british-parliament Address to the Parliament of the United Kingdom], 8 June 1982 ===S=== * Vietnam was a single country again. Ho had organised the communist order on political and economic principles which drew on the [[Soviet Union|Soviet]] and [[China|Chinese]] experiences. [[Agriculture]] was [[w:Collectivization|collectivised]]. A network of labour camps was spread across the country and hostile ‘class’ elements were rounded up and forced to abandon their capitalistic sympathies. A strict [[One-party state|one-party]] [[dictatorship]] was imposed. A blend of [[patriotism]] and [[Marxism–Leninism|Marxism-Leninism]] was propagated. The party and the army were reinforced as the combined bastion of the regime. The Democratic Republic of Vietnam had been born in a colonial war and had known nothing but war since obtaining its independence. It was an even more militarised society than the People’s Republic of China. Yet its [[industry]] made hardly any armaments. It had little industry at all and the Americans bombed its few [[factories]] into rubble. Financial support and military supplies from the USSR and China had been crucial for survival. The northerners communised the south after the American withdrawal. Expropriations and arrests accompanied the expansion of the party and army presence across the newly occupied provinces. Within a year or two the southern economy had been pressed into a northern mould. Yet the wartime devastation was everywhere. Vietnam was a land of orphans, invalids, ruined houses, disrupted rice paddies and poisoned forests. Hanoi expressed the wish for a rapprochement, but the departed Americans cut the Vietnamese off from the [[world economy]]. Peace was meant to turn the country into a desert. Although the USSR continued to proffer aid, it was never on a scale adequate for substantial reconstruction. ** Robert Service, ''Comrades: A History of World Communism'' (2009) *However, the most cruel mistake occurred with the failure to understand the Vietnam war. Some people sincerely wanted all wars to stop just as soon as possible; others believed that there should be room for national, or communist, self-determination in Vietnam, or in [[Cambodia]], as we see today with particular clarity. But members of the [[United States|U.S.]] [[anti-war movement]] wound up being involved in the betrayal of Far Eastern nations, in a [[genocide]] and in the suffering today imposed on 30 million people there. Do those convinced [[Pacifism|pacifists]] hear the moans coming from there? Do they understand their responsibility today? Or do they prefer not to hear? **[[Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn]], "[https://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/alexandersolzhenitsynharvard.htm A World Split Apart]" 8 June 1978 * Whatever you think... America wasn't stealing from the Vietnamese. ** [[Dinesh D'Souza]], ''[[America: Imagine the World Without Her]]'' (2014) ===T=== * This is the largest [[w:Anti-Chinese_sentiment|anti-Chinese]] demonstration I have ever seen in Hanoi. Our patience has limits. We are here to express the will of the Vietnamese people to defend our territory at all costs. We are ready to die to protect our nation. ** A war veteran named Dang Quang Thang told the AFP news agency, [http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-27362939 "Vietnam protestors attack China over sea disuptes"], May 11, 2014. * All [[Freedom of religion|independent religions]] are banned [in Vietnam]. Only economically speaking we are better [since the collapse of [[South Vietnam]] in [[1975]]]. But politically speaking nothing changes. ** [[w:Thích Quảng Độ|Thích Quảng Độ]]. {{cite video|url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPlL3ngQraQ|title=In My View: Vietnam's Buddhist Monk Thich Quang Do|date=2007-12-20}} ===Z=== *[T]he Vietnamese government does ''not'' mess around. Vietnam is ''not'' a [[democracy]]. It benefits (suffers?) from extensive [[Surveillance|monitoring of civilians]], but unlike the [[Singapore|Singaporean]] techno-state, Vietnam’s system is more akin to an [[Authoritarianism|authoritarian]] neighborhood watch. This system of internal monitoring literally lets state agents go door-to-door demanding answers to invasive questions. **[[w:Peter Zeihan|Peter Zeihan]], [https://zeihan.com/the-state-of-the-pandemic-east-asia/ "The State of the Pandemic: East Asia"] (18 June 2020), ''Zeihan on Geopolitics'' * In this struggle we are inspired by the example of those countries where staunch supporters of the [[Socialism|socialist]] option are in power. They are [[China]] which has the world in awe of its spectacular successes in the [[Economy of China|economy]] and the social sphere. [[Cuba]], which the [[American imperialism|US imperialism]] [[United States embargo against Cuba|has vainly tried to strangle for six decades]]. The dynamically developing [[Vietnam]]. These countries challenge [[Capitalism|capitalist]] [[globalization]], refuse to submit to their diktat and score successes on the socialist path. The experience of fraternal [[Byelorussia]] is highly instructive. ** [[Gennady Zyuganov]], [https://cprf.ru/2017/11/socialism-is-genuine-freedom/ "Socialism Is Genuine Freedom"] (22 November 2017) ==See also== * [[Religion in Vietnam]] * [[Economy of Vietnam]] * [[American exceptionalism]] * [[Crimes against humanity]] * [[War crimes]] * [[Smedley Butler|''War is a Racket'', by Smedley Butler (U.S.M.C.)]] == External links == {{similarlinks}} *{{Wikivoyage-inline}} [[Category:Vietnam| ]] gbeji8jvsainrdq7lg4nnnu179fcg8y 3942127 3942126 2026-05-17T18:19:41Z ~2026-29315-06 3322427 3942127 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Emblem of Vietnam.svg|thumb|Vietnam is [[strong]] [[eternal]]. ~ Van Cao]] [[File:Flag of Vietnam.svg|thumb|Kiss me goodbye and write me while I'm gone. Goodbye my sweetheart, hello Vietnam. ~ [[w:Dave Dudley|Dave Dudley]]]] [[File:Flag of the Communist Party of Vietnam.svg|thumb|Vietnam was never all that ideologically [[Communism|communist]]. It was always more socialist and nationalist. I told them they should stop calling themselves 'the [[Communism|communist]] [[party]]', but I didn't get anywhere with it. Everybody pays for everything over there, including healthcare. The government hardly provides anything. Sweden is more socialist than Vietnam. ~ [[w:Pete Peterson|Pete Peterson]]]] [[File:Long_bien_bridge.jpg|thumb|We the People remain resolute in our hearts and minds. Courageously we will fight such that everywhere, the Glory of the Vietnamese forever resounds! ~ [[w:Lưu Hữu Phước|Lưu Hữu Phước]]]] [[File:Vietcong_Guerrilla_Patrols.jpg|thumb|I used to see Vietnam as a [[war]] rather than a [[Countries|country]]. ~ [[John Pilger]]]] [[File:French_Indochina_c._1930.jpg|thumb|'''In Hanoi, the capital, in September 2nd, the provisional gouvernment was formed around President [[Ho Chi Minh]]; it presented itself to the nation, proclaimed the independence of Viet Nam, and called on the nation to unite, to hold itself in readiness to defend the country and to oppose all attempts at [[imperialist]] aggression. The [[w:North Vietnam|Democratic Republic of Viet Nam]] was born, the first people's democracy in South-east Asia.''' ~ [[Võ Nguyên Giáp]]]] [[File:Bâtiments_172.jpg|thumb|Vietnam’s century-old [[French]] [[w:Villas|villas]] and [[French Indochina|colonial-era]] [[government]] [[buildings]] are a draw for the 8 million [[tourists]] who visit the country every year. <br> “Even in France we don’t have so many examples of the beautiful [[w:Wrought-iron|wrought-iron]] [[w:Railing|railings]] and [[w:Staircase|staircases]] that you see here,” said French Consul General Emmanuel Ly-Batallan. ~ Zanna K. McKay]] The '''[[w:Vietnam|Socialist Republic of Vietnam]]''' ('''S.R.V.''') ([[w:Vietnamese|Vietnamese]]: ''Cộng hòa xã hội chủ nghĩa Việt Nam''), also known officially as simply '''Vietnam''' (Vietnamese: ''Việt Nam'') and spelled "the '''Socialist Republic of Viet Nam'''" ("'''S.R.V.N.'''") or "'''Viet Nam'''" ("'''V.N.'''"), is the easternmost country on the [[w:Indochina|Indochina Peninsula]] in [[w:Southeast Asia|Southeast Asia]]. With an estimated 90.5 million inhabitants as of 2014, it is the world's [[w:List of countries and dependencies by population|13th-most-populous country]], and the [[w:List of Asian countries by population|eighth-most-populous Asian country]]. [[w:Names of Vietnam|The name Vietnam]] translates as "Southern Viet" (synonymous with the much older term [[w:Nam Viet|Nam Viet]]); it was first officially adopted in 1802 by Emperor [[w:Gia Long|Gia Long]], and was adopted again in 1945 with the founding of the [[w:Democratic Republic of Vietnam|Democratic Republic of Vietnam]] under [[Ho Chi Minh]]. The country is bordered by [[China]] to the north, [[w:Laos|Laos]] to the northwest, [[w:Cambodia|Cambodia]] to the southwest, and the [[w:South China Sea|South China Sea]] to the east. Its capital city has been [[w:Hanoi|Hanoi]] since the reunification of [[w:North Vietnam|North]] and [[w:South Vietnam|South Vietnam]] in 1976, following the conclusion of the [[Vietnam War]]. __NOTOC__ {{TOCalpha}} == Quotes == ===A=== * While [general secretary {{w|Nguyễn Phú Trọng}}] believes that the [Vietnamese Communist Party’s] legitimacy comes through anti-corruption campaigns, in reality, legitimacy primarily comes through performance.<br>…Contrary to strengthening the party, Trong has helped to delegitimize it, exposing the rot across the senior leadership, while at the same time slowing economic growth. He has also stifled civil society and [https://www.rfa.org/english/news/vietnam/lam-03262024160918.html independent media], which tries to hold the party leadership to account. ** Zachary Abuza, [https://www.rfa.org/english/commentaries/vietnam-corruption-thichminhtue-06192024112612.html "Mendicant monk Thích Minh Tuệ offers an embarrassing contrast to Vietnam elites"], ''Radio Free Asia'' (June 19, 2024) ===C=== * Vietnam is strong eternal. ** Van Cao, [https://web.archive.org/web/20110907132559/http://www.vietnamembassy-usa.org/learn_about_vietnam/politics/national_anthem/ "March to the Front"] (1944) ** Original Vietnamese: ''Nuoc non Vietnam ta vung ben.'' * Strap on my arm; the streets is feeling like Vietnam. ** [[w:David Banner|Lavell W. Crump]], [http://www.megalyrics.net/david-banner/bloody-war#strap-on-my-arm-the-streets-is-feeling-like-vietnam "Bloody War"] (2005), ''Certified''. ===D=== * The prime unifying motivation for [[revolution]] in Vietnam was the goal of throwing off foreign subjugation. For hundreds of years the Vietnamese fought against a multitude of enemies, taking on and often defeating [[China|Chinese]] armies, the forces of [[w:Kublai_Khan|Kubla Khan]], and numerous other foes before the [[20th century|twentieth century]]. [[w:Vietnamese_nationalism,|Vietnamese nationalism,]] although temporarily checked by the modern [[Weapon|weaponry]] of Western nations, experienced a rapid resurgence in the 1920s and, heightened further by [[Colonialism|colonial repression]], contributed greatly to the development of the revolution. ** James DeFronzo, ''Revolutions and Revolutionary Movements'', p. 160 * Kiss me goodbye and write me while I'm gone. Goodbye my sweetheart, hello Vietnam. ** {{w|Dave Dudley}}, as quoted in [http://www.metrolyrics.com/hello-vietnam-lyrics-dave-dudley.html "Hello Vietnam"] (1965), by Tom T. Hall, United Kingdom: Decca Records. ===G=== * In August 1945, the [[w:Surrender of Japan|capitulation of the Japanese forces]] before the {{w|Soviet Army}} and the [[w:Allies of World War II|Allied forces]], put an [[w:End of World War II in Asia|end to the world war]]. The defeat of the [[Nazi Germany|German]] and [[Japan during World War II|Nippon]] [[fascists]] was the beginning of a great weakening of the [[capitalist]] system. After the great victory of the [[Soviet Union]], many [[w:People's democracy (Marxism–Leninism)|people's democracies]] saw the light of day. The [[socialist]] system was no longer confined within the frontiers of a single country. A new historic era was beginning in the world. In view of these changes, in Viet Nam, the [[w:Indochinese_Communist_Party|Indo-chinese Communist Party]] and the [[w:Viet_Minh|Viet Minh]] called the whole Vietnamese nation to general [[insurrection]]. Everywhere, the people rose in a body. Demonstrations and displays of force followed each other uninterruptedly. In August, [[w:August Revolution|the Revolution]] broke out, neutralising the bewildered [[w:Imperial_Japanese_Armed_Forces|Nippon troops]], overthrowing the pro-Japanese [[Feudalism|feudal]] authorities, and installing people's power in Hanoi and throughout the country, in the towns as well as in the countryside, in Bac Bo as well as in Nam Bo. In Hanoi, the capital, in September 2nd, the provisional gouvernment was formed around President [[Ho Chi Minh]]; it presented itself to the nation, proclaimed the independence of Viet Nam, and called on the nation to unite, to hold itself in readiness to defend the country and to oppose all attempts at [[imperialist]] aggression. The [[w:North Vietnam|Democratic Republic of Viet Nam]] was born, the first people's democracy in South-east Asia. But the imperialists intended to nip the republican regime in the bud and once again transform [[Viet Nam]] into a colony. Three weeks had hardly gone by when, on September 23rd, 1945, the [[w:French Far East Expeditionary Corps|French Expeditionary Corps]] opened fire in Saigon. The whole was to be carried on for nine years at the cost of unprecedented heroism and amidst unimaginable difficulties, to end by the shining victory of our people and the crushing defeat of the aggressive imperialists at Dien Bien Phu. ... '''Never before had there been so many foreign troops on the soil of Viet Nam. But never before either, had the Vietnamese people been so determined to rise up in combat to defend their country.''' ** [[Võ Nguyên Giáp]], ''[https://www.marxists.org/archive/giap/1961-pwpa.pdf People’s War, People’s Army]''(1962). ===J=== * Our history this year we see in Vietnam. Men there are dying; men named Fernandez and Zajac and Zelinko and Mariano and McCormick. Neither the enemy who killed them nor the people whose independence they have fought to save ever asked them where they or their parents came from. They were all [[United States|Americans]]. It was for free men and for America that they gave their all, they gave their lives and selves. By eliminating that same question as a test for [[immigration]] the [[United States Congress|Congress]] proves ourselves worthy of those men and worthy of our own traditions as a nation ** [[Lyndon B. Johnson|Lyndon Johnson]], [http://www.lbjlibrary.org/lyndon-baines-johnson/timeline/lbj-on-immigration Remarks at the Signing of the Immigration Bill] (3 October 1965). * The people of Vietnam, north and south, seek the same things. The shared needs of man, the needs for food and shelter and education, the chance to build and work and till the soil, free from the arbitrary horrors of battle, the desire to walk in the [[dignity]] of those who master their own [[destiny]]. For many painful years, in war and revolution and infrequent [[peace]], they have struggled to fulfill those needs. It is a crime against mankind that so much [[courage]], and so much will, and so many dreams, must be flung on the fires of war and death... How many men who listen to me tonight have served their nation in other wars? How very many are not here to listen? The [[Vietnam War|war in Vietnam]] is not like these other wars. Yet, finally, [[war]] is always the same. It is young men dying in the fullness of their promise. It is trying to kill a man that you do not even know well enough to hate. Therefore, to know [[war]] is to know that there is still madness in this world. ** [[Lyndon B. Johnson|Lyndon Johnson]], [http://millercenter.org/president/speeches/speech-4035 State of the Union Address] (12 January 1966). * Last year the nature of the war in Vietnam changed again. Swiftly increasing numbers of armed men from the North crossed the borders to join forces that were already in the [[South Vietnam|South]]. Attack and terror increased, spurred and encouraged by the belief that the United States lacked the will to continue and that their victory was near. Despite our desire to limit conflict, it was necessary to act: to hold back the mounting aggression, to give courage to the people of the South, and to make our firmness clear to the North. Thus. we began limited air action against military targets in North Vietnam. We increased our fighting force to its present strength tonight of 190,000 men. These moves have not ended the aggression but they have prevented its success. The aims of the enemy have been put out of reach by the skill and the bravery of Americans and their allies—and by the enduring courage of the South Vietnamese who, I can tell you, have lost eight men last year for every one of ours. The enemy is no longer close to victory. Time is no longer on his side. There is no cause to doubt the American commitment. Our decision to stand firm has been matched by our desire for peace. ** [[Lyndon B. Johnson|Lyndon Johnson]], [http://millercenter.org/president/speeches/speech-4035 State of the Union Address] (12 January 1966). * I drop bombs like I was in Vietnam. ** [[w:Bizarre (rapper)|Rufus Johnson]], [http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/eminem/undertheinfluence.html "Under the Influence"] (2000), ''The Marshall Mathers LP''. ===L=== * Vietnam of course attacked [[Cambodia]]. ** [[James W. Loewen]], [http://sundown.afro.illinois.edu/ NGO Holiday Card] * We the People remain resolute in our hearts and minds. Courageously we will fight such that everywhere, the Glory of the Vietnamese forever resounds! ** {{w|Lưu Hữu Phước}}, "[[w:Thanh niên hành khúc|Thanh niên hành khúc]]" ** Original Vietnamese: ''Người Công Dân luôn vững bền tâm trí. Hùng tráng quyết chiến đấu làm cho khắp nơi. Vang tiếng người nước Nam cho đến muôn đời!'' * Bones have broken, and blood has fallen, the hatred is rising high. Our country has been separated for so long. Here, the sacred Mekong, here, glorious Truong Son Mountains are urging us to advance to kill the enemy. Shoulder to shoulder, under a common flag. Arise! ** {{w|Lưu Hữu Phước}}, "[[w:Giải phóng miền Nam|Liberate the South]]" (July 1969) ===M=== [[File:Mahathir Bin Mohamed, Prime Minister of Malaysia (2 version).jpg|thumb|The economic reforms under the theme of "doi moi" (eco- nomic reform) and "mo cua" (openness) introduced in 1986, have caused Vietnam to develop rapidly. ~ [[Mahathir Mohamad]]]] *The economic reforms under the theme of "doi moi" (eco- nomic reform) and "mo cua" (openness) introduced in 1986, have caused Vietnam to develop rapidly. With trade incen- tives and the generous terms offered to foreign investors, I am confident that more [[Malaysia|Malaysian]] businessmen and corpo- rations will be able to play an effective and mutually bene- ficial role in the Vietnamese economy. ** [[Mahathir Mohamad]] (23 April 1992) [https://www.pmo.gov.my/ucapan/?m=p&p=mahathir&id=1109] *Vietnam will pull ahead of [[Malaysia]] because its people are very diligent. ** [[Mahathir Mohamad]], [https://www.thestar.com.my/news/nation/2018/11/25/dr-m-malaysians-are-lazy-prefer-handouts-to-hard-work/?fbclid=IwY2xjawPcnPRleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZAwzNTA2ODU1MzE3MjgAAR4ti_6Eo4fwUikgAy-Vf6mSKhwoRQO0lg3yJRPOA1vB2DYMYA2FMvQ_SbgM5A_aem_1LSsEYktLxUg1ZmBJG_omg#VRK7HwR09vTkwsbt.01 Dr M: Malaysians are lazy, prefer handouts to hard work], (25 November 2018). * Vietnam’s century-old [[French]] [[w:Villas|villas]] and [[French Colonial Empire|colonial-era]] [[government]] [[buildings]] are a draw for the 8 million [[tourists]] who visit the country every year. <br> “Even in [[France]] we don’t have so many examples of the beautiful [[w:Wrought-iron|wrought-iron]] [[w:Railing|railings]] and [[w:Staircase|staircases]] that you see here,” said French Consul General Emmanuel Ly-Batallan. <br> Heavy [[w:Roof|roofs]] are designed to withstand [[typhoons]] and large [[w:Window|windows]] placed strategically to catch the [[breeze]]. The consulate, now dwarfed by a [[w:Skyscraper|skyscraper]] under [[construction]], is considered one of the best-preserved examples of the [[architecture]] of ''Cochinchina'', the French name for [[South Vietnam|southern Vietnam]]. ** Zanna K. McKay, [https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2017/03/04/vietnam-architectural-gems-disappearing/97098474/ “Vietnam's architectural gems are disappearing”], (March 4, 2017). * Let me go back one moment. In the [[Cuban Missile Crisis]], at the end, I think we did put ourselves in the skin of the [[Soviet Union|Soviets]]. In the case of Vietnam, we didn't know them well enough to empathize. And there was total misunderstanding as a result. They believed that we had simply replaced the [[French Colonial Empire|French]] as a [[Colonialism|colonial power]], and we were seeking to subject South and North Vietnam to our colonial interests, which was absolutely absurd. And we, we saw Vietnam as an element of the [[Cold War]]. Not what they saw it as: a civil war. ** [[Robert McNamara]], ''The Fog of War'' (2003) ===N=== * We lost, everyday, Vietnamese life, in fighting [[w:North Vietnam|the communists]]... [[Politics of the United States|American democracy]], maybe, cannot work in a [[Countries|country]] like mine, you know, in [[w:South Vietnam|South Vietnam]]. ** [[Nguyen Khanh]], as quoted in [http://openvault.wgbh.org/catalog/vietnam-f2fe66-interview-with-nguyen-khanh-1981 "Interview with Nguyen Khanh"] (29 April 1981), WGBH Media Library & Archives. * I remember that day clearly when I left [[w:Ho Chi Minh City|Saigon]]. I left [[w:South Vietnam|my country]] in [[honor]] that day... [[China]] presents Vietnam with a very big problem. China is taking over Vietnam, from Cholon, where there are rich [[Chinese people|Chinese]], to Haiphong. They are everywhere now with their product. My wife is from the North, people there resent China more than the South feared the Viet Cong. The Chinese are invaders — like any other foreigners — to fight. We must stop the Chinese. You know the dikes built on the Red River? If they break, what happens? A flood! ** [[Nguyen Khanh]], as quoted in [http://web.archive.org/web/20080921114015/http://65.45.193.26:8026/cms/acct/vietweekly/issues/vw3n18/english/bagOfEarth.html "A Bag of Earth, A Promise To Keep"] (28 April 2005), by Mike Nally, ''Viet Weekly''. * If [[United States|they]] want to assassinate [[w:Nguyễn Văn Thiệu|me]], it's easy. After that, just blame it on the [[w:Viet Cong|Việt Cộng]] or a coup d'etat plot. ** {{w|Văn Thiệu Nguyễn}}, as quoted in [http://antgct.cand.com.vn/News/PrintView.aspx?ID=53640 "Tổng thống Sài Gòn cũ Nguyễn Văn Thiệu và con đường chiến bại (kỳ III)"], by Phong Hoàn Công, ''Báo Công An Nhân Dân''. ** Original Vietnamese quote: ''Nếu [[United States|họ]] muốn ám sát tôi thì cũng dễ thôi. Rồi sau đó cứ việc đổ cho Việt Cộng hoặc là do âm mưu đảo chính''. * [[United States|They]] have back-stabbed [[w:South Vietnam|us]]. ** {{w|Văn Thiệu Nguyễn}}, as quoted in ''Việt Nam. Cuộc chiến 10.000 ngày. Tập 8 - Hòa bình''. ** Original Vietnamese quote: ''[[United States|Họ]] đã đâm sau lưng chúng tôi''. * No event in [[American history]] is more misunderstood than the Vietnam War. It was misreported then, and it is misremembered now. Rarely have so many people been so wrong about so much. Never have the consequences of their misunderstanding been so tragic. ** [[Richard Nixon]], as quoted in ''No More Vietnams'' (1987). *With a Vietnamese baby on your mind. **New York Dolls, ''Vietnamese Baby'' **The song appears to refer to the Vietnam war [https://oldtimemusic.com/the-meaning-behind-the-song-vietnamese-baby-by-new-york-dolls-2/] === O === * I also come here with a deep respect for Vietnam's ancient heritage. For millennia, farmers have tended these lands, a history revealed in the ''Đông Sơn'' drums. At this bend in the river, Hanoi has endured for more than a thousand years. The world came to treasure Vietnamese silks and paintings, and a great Temple of Literature stands as a testament to your pursuit of knowledge. And yet, over the centuries, your fate was too often dictated by others. Your beloved land was not always your own. But like bamboo, the unbroken spirit of the Vietnamese people was captured by [[Lý Thường Kiệt]]: "The Southern emperor rules the Southern land. Our destiny is writ in Heaven's Book." ** [[Barack Obama]], [https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/documents/remarks-hanoi-vietnam Remarks in Hanoi, Vietnam]; 24 May 2016 ===P=== [[File:Pham Doan Trang-Headshot-e1646028486289-332x332.jpg|thumb|I don’t want freedom for just myself; that’s too easy. I want something greater: freedom for Vietnam. ~ Phạm Đoan Trang]] * I don’t want [[freedom]] for just myself; that’s too easy. I want something greater: freedom for Vietnam. It might seem like some grand goal, but it’s totally possible – with your support. ** {{w|Phạm Đoan Trang}}, as quoted in [https://www.rfa.org/english/news/vietnam/trang-pen-award-04112024231904.html "Jailed Vietnamese writer honored with international award"], ''Radio Free Asia'' (April 11, 2024) * I used to see Vietnam as a [[war]] rather than a country. ** [[John Pilger]], as quoted in ''Do you remember Vietnam?'' (1978). ===R=== * The decay of the [[Soviet Union|Soviet]] experiment should come as no surprise to us. Wherever the comparisons have been made between free and closed societies -- [[West Germany]] and [[East Germany]], [[Austria]] and [[wikipedia:Czechoslovakia|Czechoslovakia]], [[Malaysia]] and Vietnam -- it is the [[Democracy|democratic]] countries what are prosperous and responsive to the needs of their people. And one of the simple but overwhelming facts of our time is this: Of all the millions of [[Refugee|refugees]] we've seen in the modern world, their flight is always away from, not toward the [[Communism|Communist]] world. Today on the [[NATO]] line, our military forces face east to prevent a possible invasion. On the other side of the line, the Soviet forces also face east to prevent their people from leaving. ** [[Ronald Reagan]], [https://www.reaganlibrary.gov/archives/speech/address-members-british-parliament Address to the Parliament of the United Kingdom], 8 June 1982 ===S=== * Vietnam was a single country again. Ho had organised the communist order on political and economic principles which drew on the [[Soviet Union|Soviet]] and [[China|Chinese]] experiences. [[Agriculture]] was [[w:Collectivization|collectivised]]. A network of labour camps was spread across the country and hostile ‘class’ elements were rounded up and forced to abandon their capitalistic sympathies. A strict [[One-party state|one-party]] [[dictatorship]] was imposed. A blend of [[patriotism]] and [[Marxism–Leninism|Marxism-Leninism]] was propagated. The party and the army were reinforced as the combined bastion of the regime. The Democratic Republic of Vietnam had been born in a colonial war and had known nothing but war since obtaining its independence. It was an even more militarised society than the People’s Republic of China. Yet its [[industry]] made hardly any armaments. It had little industry at all and the Americans bombed its few [[factories]] into rubble. Financial support and military supplies from the USSR and China had been crucial for survival. The northerners communised the south after the American withdrawal. Expropriations and arrests accompanied the expansion of the party and army presence across the newly occupied provinces. Within a year or two the southern economy had been pressed into a northern mould. Yet the wartime devastation was everywhere. Vietnam was a land of orphans, invalids, ruined houses, disrupted rice paddies and poisoned forests. Hanoi expressed the wish for a rapprochement, but the departed Americans cut the Vietnamese off from the [[world economy]]. Peace was meant to turn the country into a desert. Although the USSR continued to proffer aid, it was never on a scale adequate for substantial reconstruction. ** Robert Service, ''Comrades: A History of World Communism'' (2009) *However, the most cruel mistake occurred with the failure to understand the Vietnam war. Some people sincerely wanted all wars to stop just as soon as possible; others believed that there should be room for national, or communist, self-determination in Vietnam, or in [[Cambodia]], as we see today with particular clarity. But members of the [[United States|U.S.]] [[anti-war movement]] wound up being involved in the betrayal of Far Eastern nations, in a [[genocide]] and in the suffering today imposed on 30 million people there. Do those convinced [[Pacifism|pacifists]] hear the moans coming from there? Do they understand their responsibility today? Or do they prefer not to hear? **[[Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn]], "[https://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/alexandersolzhenitsynharvard.htm A World Split Apart]" 8 June 1978 * Whatever you think... America wasn't stealing from the Vietnamese. ** [[Dinesh D'Souza]], ''[[America: Imagine the World Without Her]]'' (2014) ===T=== * This is the largest [[w:Anti-Chinese_sentiment|anti-Chinese]] demonstration I have ever seen in Hanoi. Our patience has limits. We are here to express the will of the Vietnamese people to defend our territory at all costs. We are ready to die to protect our nation. ** A war veteran named Dang Quang Thang told the AFP news agency, [http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-27362939 "Vietnam protestors attack China over sea disuptes"], May 11, 2014. * All [[Freedom of religion|independent religions]] are banned [in Vietnam]. Only economically speaking we are better [since the collapse of [[South Vietnam]] in [[1975]]]. But politically speaking nothing changes. ** [[w:Thích Quảng Độ|Thích Quảng Độ]]. {{cite video|url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPlL3ngQraQ|title=In My View: Vietnam's Buddhist Monk Thich Quang Do|date=2007-12-20}} ===Z=== *[T]he Vietnamese government does ''not'' mess around. Vietnam is ''not'' a [[democracy]]. It benefits (suffers?) from extensive [[Surveillance|monitoring of civilians]], but unlike the [[Singapore|Singaporean]] techno-state, Vietnam’s system is more akin to an [[Authoritarianism|authoritarian]] neighborhood watch. This system of internal monitoring literally lets state agents go door-to-door demanding answers to invasive questions. **[[w:Peter Zeihan|Peter Zeihan]], [https://zeihan.com/the-state-of-the-pandemic-east-asia/ "The State of the Pandemic: East Asia"] (18 June 2020), ''Zeihan on Geopolitics'' * In this struggle we are inspired by the example of those countries where staunch supporters of the [[Socialism|socialist]] option are in power. They are [[China]] which has the world in awe of its spectacular successes in the [[Economy of China|economy]] and the social sphere. [[Cuba]], which the [[American imperialism|US imperialism]] [[United States embargo against Cuba|has vainly tried to strangle for six decades]]. The dynamically developing [[Vietnam]]. These countries challenge [[Capitalism|capitalist]] [[globalization]], refuse to submit to their diktat and score successes on the socialist path. The experience of fraternal [[Byelorussia]] is highly instructive. ** [[Gennady Zyuganov]], [https://cprf.ru/2017/11/socialism-is-genuine-freedom/ "Socialism Is Genuine Freedom"] (22 November 2017) ==See also== * [[Religion in Vietnam]] * [[Economy of Vietnam]] * [[American exceptionalism]] * [[Crimes against humanity]] * [[War crimes]] * [[Smedley Butler|''War is a Racket'', by Smedley Butler (U.S.M.C.)]] == External links == {{similarlinks}} *{{Wikivoyage-inline}} [[Category:Vietnam| ]] kthpgxd1ylnfs1lrfv3wkbxbdbcew8r 0 72963 3942241 3941212 2026-05-18T03:02:03Z Markjoseph125 19526 /* Part III: A Voyage to Laputa, Balnibarbi, Luggnagg, Glubbdubdrib, and Japan */ added quote 3942241 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} [[File:Gullivers travels.jpg|thumb|You have clearly [[proved]] that [[ignorance]], [[idleness]], and [[vice]], are the [[proper]] ingredients for qualifying a legislator: that [[laws]] are best [[explained]], interpreted, and applied by those whose interest and [[abilities]] lies in [[perverting]], confounding, and eluding them.]] '''''[[w:Gulliver's Travels|Travels into Several Remote Nations of the World. In Four Parts. By Lemuel Gulliver, First a Surgeon, and then a Captain of Several Ships]]''''', commonly known as '''''Gulliver's Travels''''' (1726, amended 1735), is a satirical novel by Irish writer and clergyman [[Jonathan Swift]]. == A Letter from Captain Gulliver == [[File:Podróże Gulliwera tom I page0230c.png|thumb|I [[wrote]] for their amendment, and not their approbation.]] :<small> A Letter from Captain Gulliver To His Cousin Sympson Written in the Year 1727 </small> * '''If the censure of the [[w:Yahoo (Gulliver's Travels)|Yahoos]] could any way affect me, I should have great reason to complain, that some of them are so bold as to think my book of travels a mere fiction out of mine own brain, and have gone so far as to drop hints, that the [[w:Houyhnhnms|Houyhnhnms]] and Yahoos have no more existence than the inhabitants of [[Utopia]].''' <br /> Indeed I must confess, that as to the people of Lilliput, Brobdingrag (for so the word should have been spelt, and not erroneously Brobdingnag), and Laputa, I have never yet heard of any Yahoo so presumptuous as to dispute their being, or the facts I have related concerning them; because the truth immediately strikes every reader with conviction. And is there less probability in my account of the Houyhnhnms or Yahoos, when it is manifest as to the latter, there are so many thousands even in this country, who only differ from their brother brutes in Houyhnhnmland, because they use a sort of jabber, and do not go naked? '''I wrote for their amendment, and not their approbation. The united praise of the whole race would be of less consequence to me, than the neighing of those two degenerate Houyhnhnms I keep in my stable; because from these, degenerate as they are, I still improve in some virtues without any mixture of vice.''' == Part I: A Voyage to Lilliput == * '''He is taller by almost the breadth of my nail, than any of his court, which alone is enough to strike an awe into the beholders.''' ** On the Emperor of Lilliput, in Chapter 2 * Big-endians and small-endians. ** Chapter 4 * It is allowed on all hands, that the primitive way of breaking eggs, before we eat them, was upon the larger end; but his present majesty’s grandfather, while he was a boy, going to eat an egg, and breaking it according to the ancient practice, happened to cut one of his fingers. Whereupon the emperor his father published an edict, commanding all his subjects, upon great penalties, to break the smaller end of their eggs. The people so highly resented this [[law]], that our histories tell us, there have been six rebellions raised on that account; wherein one emperor lost his life, and another his crown. ** Chapter 4 * It is computed that eleven thousand persons have at several times suffered death, rather than submit to break their eggs at the smaller end. ** Chapter 4 * Of so little weight are the greatest services to princes, when put into the balance with a refusal to gratify their passions. ** Chapter 5 * The learned among them confess the absurdity of this doctrine; but the practice still continues, in compliance to the vulgar. ** Chapter 6 * All crimes against the state, are punished here with the utmost severity; but, if the person accused makes his innocence plainly to appear upon his trial, the accuser is immediately put to an ignominious death; and out of his goods or lands the innocent person is quadruply recompensed for the loss of his time, for the danger he underwent, for the hardship of his imprisonment, and for all the charges he has been at in making his defence. ** Chapter 6 * They look upon fraud as a greater crime than theft, and therefore seldom fail to punish it with death; for they allege, that care and vigilance, with a very common understanding, may preserve a man’s goods from thieves, but honesty has no defence against superior cunning. ** Chapter 6 * Ingratitude is among them a capital crime, as we read it to have been in some other countries: for they reason thus; that whoever makes ill returns to his benefactor, must needs be a common enemy to the rest of mankind, from whom he has received no obligation, and therefore such a man is not fit to live. ** Chapter 6 == Part II: A Voyage to Brobdingnag == [[File:Ear of rye.jpg|thumb|He gave it for his [[opinion]], that whosoever could make two ears of corn or two blades of grass to grow upon a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do more essential service to his [[country]], than the whole race of [[politicians]] put together.]] * For a man may be allowed to keep poisons in his closet, but not to vend them about for cordials. ** Chapter 6 * You have made a most admirable panegyric upon your country [England]; you have clearly proved that ignorance, idleness, and vice, are the proper ingredients for qualifying a legislator: that laws are best explained, interpreted, and applied by those whose interest and abilities lies in perverting, confounding, and eluding them. I observe among you some lines of an institution, which in its original might have been tolerable, but these half erased, and the rest wholly blurred and blotted by corruptions. It doth not appear from all you have said, how any one virtue is required towards the procurement of any one station among you; much less that men are ennobled on account of their virtue, that priests are advanced for their piety or learning, soldiers for their conduct or valour, judges for their integrity, senators for the love of their country, or counsellors for their wisdom. ** The King of Brobdingnag, in Chapter 6 * I cannot but conclude the bulk of your natives to be the most pernicious race of little odious vermin that nature ever suffered to crawl upon the surface of the earth. ** Chapter 6 * '''And he gave it for his [[opinion]], that whosoever could make two ears of corn or two blades of grass to grow upon a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do more essential service to his [[country]], than the whole race of [[politicians]] put together.''' ** [[s:Gulliver%27s_Travels/Part_II/Chapter_VII|Chapter 7]] == Part III: A Voyage to Laputa, Balnibarbi, Luggnagg, Glubbdubdrib, and Japan == [[File:Laputa - Grandville (107545785).jpg|thumb|The reader can hardly conceive my astonishment, to behold an island in the air, inhabited by men, who were able (as it should seem) to raise or sink, or put it into progressive motion, as they pleased.]] * <!-- I walked awhile among the rocks: the sky was perfectly clear, and the sun so hot, that I was forced to turn my face from it: when all on a sudden it became obscure, as I thought, in a manner very different from what happens by the interposition of a cloud. I turned back, and perceived a vast opaque body between me and the sun moving forwards towards the island: it seemed to be about two miles high, and hid the sun six or seven minutes; but I did not observe the air to be much colder, or the sky more darkened, than if I had stood under the shade of a mountain. As it approached nearer over the place where I was, it appeared to be a firm substance, the bottom flat, smooth, and shining very bright, from the reflection of the sea below. --> I stood upon a height about two hundred yards from the shore, and saw this vast body descending almost to a parallel with me, at less than an English mile distance. I took out my pocket perspective, and could plainly discover numbers of people moving up and down the sides of it, which appeared to be sloping; but what those people where doing I was not able to distinguish. <br /> '''The natural love of life gave me some inward motion of joy, and I was ready to entertain a hope that this adventure might, some way or other, help to deliver me from the desolate place and condition I was in.''' But at the same time the reader can hardly conceive my astonishment, to behold an island in the air, inhabited by men, who were able (as it should seem) to raise or sink, or put it into progressive motion, as they pleased. But not being at that time in a disposition to philosophise upon this phenomenon, I rather chose to observe what course the island would take, because it seemed for awhile to stand still. * '''They are very bad reasoners, and vehemently given to opposition, unless when they happen to be of the right opinion, which is seldom their case.''' Imagination, fancy, and invention, they are wholly strangers to, nor have any words in their language, by which those ideas can be expressed; the whole compass of their thoughts and mind being shut up within the two forementioned sciences. <br /> Most of them, and especially those who deal in the astronomical part, have great faith in judicial astrology, although they are ashamed to own it publicly. But what I chiefly admired, and thought altogether unaccountable, was the strong disposition I observed in them towards news and politics, perpetually enquiring into public affairs, giving their judgments in matters of state, and passionately disputing every inch of a party opinion. I have indeed observed the same disposition among most of the mathematicians I have known in Europe, although I could never discover the least analogy between the two sciences; unless those people suppose, that because the smallest circle hath as many degrees as the largest, therefore the regulation and management of the world require no more abilities than the handling and turning of a globe. But I rather take this quality to spring from a very common infirmity of human nature, inclining us to be more curious and conceited in matters where we have least concern, and for which we are least adapted either by study or nature. ** Chapter 2 * '''The greatest curiosity, upon which the fate of the island depends, is a loadstone of a prodigious size, in shape resembling a weaver's shuttle.''' It is in length six yards, and in the thickest part at least three yards over. This magnet is sustained by a very strong axle of adamant passing through its middle, upon which it plays, and is poised so exactly that the weakest hand can turn it. It is hooped round with a hollow cylinder of adamant, four feet yards in diameter, placed horizontally, and supported by eight adamantine feet, each six yards high. In the middle of the concave side, there is a groove twelve inches deep, in which the extremities of the axle are lodged, and turned round as there is occasion. <br /> The stone cannot be removed from its place by any force, because the hoop and its feet are one continued piece with that body of adamant which constitutes the bottom of the island. ** Chapter 3 * This loadstone is under the care of certain astronomers, who, from time to time, give it such positions as the monarch directs. They spend the greatest part of their lives in observing the celestial bodies, which they do by the assistance of glasses, far excelling ours in goodness. For, although their largest telescopes do not exceed three feet, they magnify much more than those of a hundred with us, and show the stars with greater clearness. This advantage has enabled them to extend their discoveries much further than our astronomers in Europe; for they have made a catalogue of ten thousand fixed stars, whereas the largest of ours do not contain above one third part of that number. '''They have likewise discovered two lesser stars, or satellites, which revolve about [[Mars]]'''; whereof the innermost is distant from the centre of the primary planet exactly three of his diameters, and the outermost, five; the former revolves in the space of ten hours, and the latter in twenty-one and a half; so that the squares of their periodical times are very near in the same proportion with the cubes of their distance from the centre of Mars; which evidently shows them to be governed by the same law of gravitation that influences the other heavenly bodies. ** Chapter 3 * The king, when he is highest provoked, and most determined to press a city to rubbish, orders the island to descend with great gentleness, out of a pretence of tenderness to his people, but, indeed, for fear of breaking the adamantine bottom; in which case, it is the opinion of all their philosophers, that the loadstone could no longer hold it up, and the whole mass would fall to the ground. ** Chapter 3 * He had been eight years upon a project for extracting sunbeams out of cucumbers, which were to be put in vials hermetically sealed, and let out to warm the air in raw inclement summers. ** Chapter 5 * In the school of political projectors, I was but ill entertained; the professors appearing, in my judgment, wholly out of their senses, which is a scene that never fails to make me melancholy. These unhappy people were proposing schemes for persuading monarchs to choose favourites upon the score of their wisdom, capacity, and virtue; of teaching ministers to consult the public good; of rewarding merit, great abilities, eminent services; of instructing princes to know their true interest, by placing it on the same foundation with that of their people; of choosing for employments persons qualified to exercise them, with many other wild, impossible chimeras, that never entered before into the heart of man to conceive; and confirmed in me the old observation, “that there is nothing so extravagant and irrational, which some philosophers have not maintained for truth.” ** Chapter 6 * Three kings … showed with great strength of reason, that the royal throne could not be supported without corruption, because that positive, confident, restive temper, which virtue infused into man, was a perpetual clog to public business. ** Chapter 8 * I hope I may be pardoned if these discoveries inclined me a little to abate of that profound veneration which I am naturally apt to pay to persons of high rank, who ought to be treated with the utmost respect due to their sublime dignity, by us their inferiors. ** Chapter 8 == Part IV: A Voyage to the Country of the Houyhnhnms == [[File:Gulliver with Houyhnhnms - Grandville (107546234).jpg|thumb|I said the thing which was not. (For they have no [[word]] in their [[language]] to express [[lying]] or [[falsehood]].)]] [[File:Gulliver-taking-his-final-leave-of-the-land-of-the-houyhnhnms-sawrey-gilpin.jpg|thumb|A traveller’s chief aim should be to make men [[wiser]] and better, and to improve their [[minds]] by the [[bad]] as well as [[good]] [[example]] of what they deliver concerning foreign places.]] * '''I said the thing which was not.''' (For they have no [[word]] in their [[language]] to express lying or falsehood.) ** Chapter 3 * Poor [[Nations]] are hungry, and rich Nations are proud, and [[Pride]] and [[Hunger]] will ever be at Variance. ** Chapter 5 * A soldier is a Yahoo (man) hired to kill in cold blood as many of his own species, who have never offended him, as possibly he can. ** Chapter 5 * He asked me what were the usual causes or motives that made one country go to war with another. I answered they were innumerable; but I should only mention a few of the chief. Sometimes the ambition of princes, who never think they have land or people enough to govern; sometimes the corruption of ministers, who engage their master in a war in order to stifle or divert the clamour of the subjects against their evil administration. Difference in opinions hath cost many millions of lives: for instance, whether flesh be bread, or bread be flesh; whether the juice of a certain berry be blood or wine; whether whistling be a vice or a virtue; whether it be better to kiss a post, or throw it into the fire; what is the best colour for a coat, whether black, white, red, or gray; and whether it should be long or short, narrow or wide, dirty or clean; with many more. Neither are any wars so furious and bloody, or of so long continuance, as those occasioned by difference in opinion, especially if it be in things indifferent. ** Chapter 5 * Although he hated the Yahoos of this country, yet he no more blamed them for their odious qualities, than he did a gnnayh (a bird of prey) for its cruelty, or a sharp stone for cutting his hoof. But, when a creature pretending to reason, could be capable of such enormities, he dreaded lest the corruption of that faculty might be worse than brutality itself. He seemed therefore confident, that instead of reason, we were only possessed of some quality fitted to increase our natural vices. ** Chapter 5 * It is a maxim among these lawyers, that whatever hath been done before, may legally be done again: and therefore they take special care to record all the decisions formerly made against common justice, and the general reason of mankind. These, under the name of precedents, they produce as authorities, to justify the most iniquitous opinions; and the judges never fail of directing accordingly. ** Chapter 5 * It is likewise to be observed, that this society has a peculiar cant and jargon of their own, that no other mortal can understand, and wherein all their laws are written, which they take special care to multiply; whereby they have wholly confounded the very essence of truth and falsehood, of right and wrong; so that it will take thirty years to decide, whether the field left me by my ancestors for six generations belongs to me, or to a stranger three hundred miles off. ** Chapter 5 * Here my master interposing, said it was a pity, that creatures endowed with such prodigious abilities of mind as these lawyers, by the description I gave of them, must certainly be, were not rather encouraged to be instructors of others in wisdom and knowledge. In answer to which, I assured his Honour, that in all points out of their own trade, they were usually the most ignorant and stupid generation among us, the most despicable in common conversation, avowed enemies to all knowledge and learning, and equally disposed to pervert the general reason of mankind in every other subject of discourse, as in that of their own profession. ** Chapter 5 * I told him...that we ate when we were not hungry, and drank without the provocation of thirst. ** Chapter 6 * The many virtues of those excellent quadrupeds placed in opposite view to human corruptions, had so far opened my eyes and enlarged my understanding, that I began to view the actions and passions of man in a very different light, and to think the honour of my own kind not worth managing; which, besides, it was impossible for me to do before a person of so acute a judgment as my master, who daily convinced me of a thousand faults in myself, whereof I had not the least perception before, and which with us would never be numbered even among human infirmities. I had likewise learned from his example an utter detestation of all falsehood or disguise; and truth appeared so amiable to me, that I determined upon sacrificing every thing to it. ** Chapter 7 * He looked upon us as a sort of animals to whose share, by what accident he could not conjecture, some small pittance of reason had fallen, whereof we made no other use than by its assistance to aggravate our natural corruptions, and to acquire new ones, which nature had not given us. That we disarmed ourselves of the few abilities she had bestowed, had been very successful in multiplying our original wants, and seemed to spend our whole lives in vain endeavours to supply them ** Chapter 7 * The Yahoos were known to hate one another more than they did any different species of animals; and the reason usually assigned was, the odiousness of their own shapes, which all could see in the rest, but not in themselves. ** Chapter 7 * For if you throw among five Yahoos as much food as would be sufficient for fifty, they will, instead of eating peaceably, fall together by the ears, each single one impatient to have all to itself. ** Chapter 7 * In some fields of his country, there are certain shining stones of several colours, whereof the Yahoos are violently fond, and when part of these stones is fixed in the earth, as it sometimes happeneth, they will dig with their claws for whole days to get them out, then carry them away, and hide them by heaps in their kennels; but still looking round with great caution, for fear their comrades should find out their treasure. My master said, he could never discover the reason of this unnatural appetite, or how these stones could be of any use to a Yahoo; but now he believed it might proceed from the same principle of avarice which I had ascribed to mankind. ** Chapter 7 * It was with extreme difficulty that I could bring my master to understand the meaning of the word opinion, or how a point could be disputable; because reason taught us to affirm or deny only where we are certain; and beyond our knowledge we cannot do either. So that controversies, wranglings, disputes, and positiveness in false or dubious propositions, are evils unknown among the Houyhnhnms. In the like manner when I used to explain to him our several systems of natural philosophy, he would laugh that a creature pretending to reason, should value itself upon the knowledge of other people’s conjectures, and in things, where that knowledge, if it were certain, could be of no use. Wherein he agreed entirely with the sentiments of Socrates, as Plato delivers them. ** Chapter 8 * Nature is very easily satisfied. ** Chapter 10 * When I thought of my family, my friends, my countrymen, or human race in general, I considered them as they really were, Yahoos in shape and disposition, perhaps a little more civilized, and qualified with the gift of speech, but making no other use of reason, than to improve and multiply those vices, whereof their brethren in this country had only the share that nature allotted them. ** Chapter 10 * A decree of the general assembly in this country is expressed by the word hnhloayn, which signifies an exhortation, as near as I can render it; for they have no conception how a rational creature can be compelled, but only advised, or exhorted; because no person can disobey reason, without giving up his claim to be a rational creature. ** Chapter 10 * A traveller’s chief aim should be to make men wiser and better, and to improve their minds by the bad as well as good example of what they deliver concerning foreign places. ** Chapter 12 == Quotes about ''Gulliver's Travels'' == [[File:Harikalar Diyari Gulliver 05975 nevit.jpg|thumb|right|If I had to make a list of six [[books]] which were to be preserved when all others were destroyed, I would certainly put ''Gulliver's Travels'' among them. ~ [[George Orwell]] ]] *''' ''Gulliver's Travels'' is to early modern [[philosophy]] what [[Aristophanes|Aristophanes’]] ''The Clouds'' was to early ancient philosophy.''' … Swift objects to [[Age of Enlightenment|Enlightenment]] because it encourages a [[w:Hypertrophy|hypertrophic]] development of mathematics, physics and astronomy, thus returning to the pre-Socratic philosophy that Aristophanes had criticized for being unselfconscious or unable to understand man. But, unlike pre-Socratic philosophy, which had no interest in politics at all, this science wished to rule and could rule. The new science had indeed generated sufficient power to rule, but in order to do so had had to lose the human perspective. In other words, Swift denied that modern science had actually established a human or political science. All to the contrary, it had destroyed it. ** [[Allan Bloom]], ''The Closing of the American Mind'' (New York: 1988), pp. 293-295 * '''When human actions are ascribed to pigmies and giants, there are few that do not excite either contempt, disgust, or horror'''; to ascribe them therefore to such beings was perhaps the most probable method of engaging the mind to examine them with attention, and judge of them with impartiality, by suspending the fascination of habit, and exhibiting familiar objects in a new light... ** [[w:John Hawkesworth (book editor)|‎John Hawkesworth]], ''The Works of Jonathan Swift'' (1755), Vol. I, Part II, footnote on p. 139 *Savage attack on hypocrisy and cant that never dilutes its fantasy with its satire: the two elements feed off each other perfectly. **[[China Mieville]] [https://libcom.org/article/50-sci-fi-fantasy-works-every-socialist-should-read-china-mieville 50 Sci-Fi & Fantasy Works Every Socialist Should Read] * '''If I had to make a list of six books which were to be preserved when all others were destroyed, I would certainly put ''[[Gulliver's Travels]]'' among them.''' ** [[George Orwell]], in "Politics vs. Literature: An Examination of Gulliver's Travels" (1946) * '''No [[word]] drops from Gulliver's pen in vain.''' Where his work ceases for a moment to satirize the vices of mankind in general, it becomes a stricture upon the parties, politics, and courts of Britain; where it abandons the subject of censure, it presents a lively picture of the vices and follies of the fashionable world, or of the vain pursuits of philosophy, while the parts of the narrative which refer to the traveller's own adventures form a humorous and striking parody of the manner of old voyagers, their dry and minute style, and the unimportant personal incidents with which their journals are encumbered. ** [[Walter Scott]], ''The Works of Jonathan Swift'' (1814), Vol. XII, Gulliver's Travels, p. 5 * '''“I enjoyed perfect health of body, and tranquillity of mind; I did not feel the treachery or inconstancy of a friend, nor the injuries of a secret or open enemy.''' I had no occasion of bribing, flattering, or pimping, to procure the favour of any great man, or of his minion; I wanted no fence against fraud or oppression: here was neither physician to destroy my body, nor lawyer to ruin my fortune; no informer to watch my words and actions, or forge accusations against me for hire: here were no gibers, censurers, backbiters, pickpockets, highwaymen, housebreakers, attorneys, bawds, buffoons, gamesters, politicians, wits, splenetics, tedious talkers, controvertists, ravishers, murderers, robbers, virtuosos; no leaders, or followers, of party and faction; no encouragers to vice, by seducement or examples; no dungeon, axes, gibbets, whipping-posts, or pillories; no cheating shopkeepers or mechanics; no pride, vanity, or affectation; no fops, bullies, drunkards, strolling whores, or poxes; no ranting, lewd, expensive wives; no stupid, proud pedants; no importunate, overbearing, quarrelsome, noisy, roaring, empty, conceited, swearing companions; no scoundrels raised from the dust upon the merit of their vices, or nobility thrown into it on account of their virtues; no lords, fiddlers, judges, or dancing-masters.” ** [[Jonathan Swift]], ''The work of Jonathan Swift'', Gulliver's Travels, Part IV, p. 226 == External links == {{wikipedia}} {{wikisource}} * {{gutenberg|no=829|name=Gulliver's Travels}} * {{gutenberg|no=17157|name=Gulliver's Travels (Parts I and II) with illustrations}} * [http://rss.duchs.com/swift/gullivers-travels/ RSS edition] of the text * Searchable version in [http://www.jus.uio.no/sisu/gullivers_travels.jonathan_swift/sisu_manifest.html multiple formats]: [http://www.jus.uio.no/sisu/gullivers_travels.jonathan_swift/toc.html html], XML, opendocument [http://www.jus.uio.no/sisu/gullivers_travels.jonathan_swift/opendocument.odt ODF], pdf ([http://www.jus.uio.no/sisu/gullivers_travels.jonathan_swift/landscape.pdf landscape], [http://www.jus.uio.no/sisu/gullivers_travels.jonathan_swift/portrait.pdf portrait]), [http://www.jus.uio.no/sisu/gullivers_travels.jonathan_swift/plain.txt plaintext], [http://www.jus.uio.no/sisu/gullivers_travels.jonathan_swift/concordance.html concordance] [[Category:Fantasy books]] [[Category:Philosophical novels]] [[Category:Science fiction books]] ak6ii449srzbbi1nsvmf5d25cak64cu 0 91804 3942268 3940328 2026-05-18T10:43:33Z En-cor-Zenodoti 3308631 add one 3942268 wikitext text/x-wiki '''{{w|Callimachus}}''' '''of''' '''[[w:Cyrene, Libya|Cyrene]]''' (c. [[310 BC]] – c. [[240 BC]]) was an {{w|ancient Greek}} [[poet]], [[scholar]], and [[librarian]] who was active in [[Alexandria]] during the 3rd century BC. A representative of {{w||Ancient Greek literature}} of the {{w|Hellenistic period}}, he reputedly wrote over 800 works, most of which do not survive, in a wide variety of genres. He espoused an {{w|aesthetic philosophy}}, known as Callimacheanism, which exerted a strong influence on the poets of the [[Roman Empire]] and, through them, on all subsequent [[w:Western canon|Western literature]]. == Quotes == [[File:P.Oxy. XI 1362.jpg|thumb|Nothing unattested do I sing.]] :<small>Greek text cited from R. Pfeiffer, ''Callimachus'', vols. I–II (Oxford, 1949–1953), whose line and fragment numbering is also followed.</small> === ''Hymns'' === ; I. ''To Zeus'' * ψευδοίμην· ἀίοντος ἅ κεν πεπίθοιεν ἀκουήν. ** When I speak fiction, be it such fiction as persuades the listener's ear! ** I.65 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/callimachuslycop00calluoft/page/42/mode/2up A. W. Mair, 1921]) *** Alternate translation ([https://archive.org/details/callimachushymns0000call_a0r4/page/5/mode/2up S. Lombardo, D. Rayor, 1988]): *** A poet's fiction should at least be plausible. ; II. ''To Apollo'' * ὁ Φθόνος Ἀπόλλωνος ἐπ᾿ οὔατα λάθριος εἶπεν·<br>'οὐκ ἄγαμαι τὸν ἀοιδὸν ὃς οὐδ᾿ ὅσα πόντος ἀείδει.'<br>τὸν Φθόνον ὡπόλλων ποδί τ᾿ ἤλασεν ὧδέ τ᾿ ἔειπεν·<br>'Ἀσσυρίου ποταμοῖο μέγας ῥόος, ἀλλὰ τὰ πολλά<br>λύματα γῆς καὶ πολλὸν ἐφ᾿ ὕδατι συρφετὸν ἕλκει.<br>Δηοῖ δ᾿ οὐκ ἀπὸ παντὸς ὕδωρ φορέουσι μέλισσαι,<br>ἀλλ᾿ ἥτις καθαρή τε καὶ ἀχράαντος ἀνέρπει<br>πίδακος ἐξ ἱερῆς ὀλίγη λιβὰς ἄκρον ἄωτον.' ** Spake Envy privily in the ear of Apollo: "I admire not the poet who singeth not things for number as the sea." Apollo spurned Envy with his foot and spake thus: "Great is the stream of the Assyrian river, but much filth of earth and much refuse it carries on its waters. And not of every water do the Melissae carry to [[w:Demeter|Deo]], but of the trickling stream that springs from a holy mountain, pure and undefiled, the very crown of waters." ** II.105–112 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/callimachuslycop00calluoft/page/56/mode/2up A. W. Mair, 1921]) === ''Epigrams'' === * Εἶπέ τις, Ἡράκλειτε, τεὸν μόρον, ἐς δέ με δάκρυ<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;ἤγαγεν· ἐμνήσθην δ᾿ ὁσσάκις ἀμφότεροι<br>ἥλιον ἐν λέσχῃ κατεδύσαμεν. ἀλλὰ σὺ μέν που,<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;ξεῖν᾿ Ἁλικαρνησεῦ, τετράπαλαι σποδιή,<br>αἱ δὲ τεαὶ ζώουσιν ἀηδόνες, ᾗσιν ὁ πάντων<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;ἁρπακτὴς Ἀΐδης οὐκ ἐπὶ χεῖρα βαλεῖ. ** They told me, Heraclitus, they told me you were dead, <br /> They brought me bitter news to hear and bitter tears to shed. <br /> I wept, as I remembered, how often you and I <br /> Had tired the sun with talking and sent him down the sky.{{pb}}And now that thou art lying, my dear old Carian guest,<br />A handful of grey ashes, long, long ago at rest,<br />Still are thy pleasant voices, thy nightingales, awake;<br />For Death, he taketh all away, but them he cannot take. ** Epigram 2 (tr. [https://books.google.com/books?id=JmQJAAAAQAAJ&pg=PA7 W. J. Cory, 1858]) * Τῇδε Σάων ὁ Δίκωνος Ἀκάνθιος ἱερὸν ὕπνον<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;κοιμᾶται· θνῄσκειν μὴ λέγε τοὺς ἀγαθούς. ** Here sleeps Saon, of Acanthus, son of Dicon, a holy sleep: say not that the good die. ** Epigram 9 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/worksofhesiodcal0000hesi/page/194/mode/2up J. Banks, 1856]) * ὦ Χαρίδα, τί τὰ νέρθε; 'πολὺ σκότος.' αἱ δ᾿ ἄνοδοι τί;<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;'ψεῦδος.' ὁ δὲ Πλούτων; 'μῦθος.' ἀπωλόμεθα. ** O Charidas, what of the under world? Great darkness. And what of the resurrection? A lie. And [[w:Pluto (mythology)|Pluto]]? A fable; we perish utterly. ** Epigram 13.3–4 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/selectepigramsfr00mackrich/page/170/mode/2up J. W. Mackail, 1906]) * ὤμοσεν· ἀλλὰ λέγουσιν ἀληθέα τοὺς ἐν ἔρωτι<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;ὅρκους μὴ δύνειν οὔατ᾿ ἐς ἀθανάτων. ** He sware: but what they say is true—that lovers' oaths enter not the ears of the immortals. ** Epigram 25.3–4 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/callimachuslycop00calluoft/page/154/mode/2up A. W. Mair, 1921]) * φωρὸς δ᾿ ἴχνια φὼρ ἔμαθον. ** Set a thief to catch a thief. ** Epigram 43.6 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/ancientgreeklite0000unse_g1m2/page/146/mode/2up R. A. Furness, G. M. Young, 1931]) * πολλάκι λήθει<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;τοῖχον ὑποτρώγων ἡσύχιος ποταμός. ** Oft by stealth<br>The silent river undermines the wall. ** Epigram 44.3–4 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/dictionaryquota02harbgoog/page/680/mode/2up T. B. Harbottle, 1902]) * ἦ πανακὲς πάντων φάρμακον ἁ σοφία. ** Surely the poet's skill is sovereign remedy for all ill. ** Epigram 46.4 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/callimachuslycop00calluoft/page/168/mode/2up A. W. Mair, 1921]) * Τέσσαρες αἱ Χάριτες· ποτὶ γὰρ μία ταῖς τρισὶ τήναις<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;ἄρτι ποτεπλάσθη κἦτι μύροισι νοτεῖ.<br>εὐαίων ἐν πᾶσιν ἀρίζηλος Βερενίκα,<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;ἇς ἄτερ ουδ᾿ αὐταὶ ταὶ Χάριτες Χάριτες. ** The Graces, three erewhile, are three no more:<br>A fourth is come, with perfume sprinkled o'er.<br>'Tis Berenice blest and fair; were she<br>Away, the Graces would no Graces be. ** Epigram 51 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/anthologiapolyg00wellgoog/page/83/mode/2up G. Smith, 1849]) === Fragments === * ὅσσα τ᾿ ὀδόντων<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;ἔνδοθι νείαιράν τ᾿ εἰς ἀχάριστον ἔδυ,<br>καὶ τῶν οὐδὲν ἔμεινεν ἐς αὔριον· ὅσσα δ᾿ ἀκουαῖς<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;εἰσεθέμην, ἔτι μοι μοῦνα πάρεστι τάδε. ** And of all that passed my teeth and plunged into the ungrateful belly nothing remained till the morrow; but the only things which I still keep are those that I laid in my ears. ** Fr. 43.14–17; [[w:Aetia (Callimachus)|''Aetia'']], book II (tr. [https://archive.org/details/aetiaiambilyricp0000call/page/32/mode/2up C. A. Trypanis, 1958]) *** Alternate translation ([http://quod.lib.umich.edu/d/did/did2222.0000.665/--gluttony?rgn=main;view=fulltext S. Takats, 2006]): *** All that I have given to my stomach has disappeared, and I have retained all the fodder that I gave to my spirit. * ἦ πολυιδρείη χαλεπὸν κακόν, ὅστις ἀκαρτεῖ<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;γλώσσης· ὡς ἐτεὸν παῖς ὅδε μαῦλιν ἔχει. ** Surely much knowledge is a grievous thing for him who does not control his tongue; this man is really a child with a knife. ** Fr. 75.8–9; ''Aetia'', book III (tr. [https://archive.org/details/aetiaiambilyricp0000call/page/54/mode/2up C. A. Trypanis, 1958]) * Καλλίμαχος ὁ γραμματικὸς τὸ μέγα βιβλίον ἴσον ἔλεγεν εἶναι τῷ μεγάλῳ κακῷ. ** The grammarian Callimachus used to say that a big book is equivalent to a big evil. ** Fr. 465 (tr. [https://www.loebclassics.com/view/atheneus_grammarian-learned_banqueters/2007/pb_LCL204.409.xml S. Douglas Olson, 2007]) *** Paraphrases: *** A big book is a big misfortune. ([https://books.google.com/books?id=Cg8SOYw9GLAC&pg=PA570 A. W. Bulloch, 1985]) *** A great book is like great evil. ([https://books.google.com/books?id=o6rFno1ffQoC&pg=PA181 E. M. Knowles, 1999]) * αἰεὶ τοῖς μικκοῖς μικκὰ δίδουσι θεοί. ** The gods always give small things to small men. ** Fr. 475 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/aetiaiambilyricp0000call/page/252/mode/2up C. A. Trypanis, 1958]) * ἀμάρτυρον οὐδὲν ἀείδω. ** Nothing unattested do I sing. ** Fr. 612 (tr. [https://books.google.com/books?id=Cg8SOYw9GLAC&pg=PA570 A. W. Bulloch, 1985]) * κουφοτέρως τότε φῶτα διαθλίβουσιν ἀνῖαι,<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;ἐκ δὲ τριηκόντων μοῖραν ἀφεῖλε μίαν,<br>ἢ φίλον ἢ ὅτ᾿ ἐς ἄνδρα συνέμπορον ἢ ὅτε κωφαῖς<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;ἄλγεα μαψαύραις ἔσχατον ἐξερύγῃ. ** Worries then weigh less on a man, and of thirty parts one is removed, when he blurts out his troubles to a friend, or a fellow-traveller, or even finally to the deaf gusts of wind. ** Fr. 714 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/aetiaiambilyricp0000call/page/282/mode/2up C. A. Trypanis, 1958]) <!-- * Ὅμηρον ἐξ Ὁμήρου σαφηνίζειν ** To explain Homer with Homer ** Maxim attributed to Callimachus; see ''Ancient Scholarship and Grammar: Archetypes, Concepts and Contexts'' (2011) edited by Stephanos Matthaios, Franco Montanari, Αντώνιος Ρεγκάκος, p. 108 (de Gruyter) // Not attributed to Callimachus by the cited source (or any other AFAIK); consensus is that the aphorism originates from an unidentified 5th century BC sophist: A. G. Lee, 'An Aristarchean Maxim?', PCPhS 21 (1975), 63–64; N. G. Wilson, 'Aristarchus or a Sophist?', PCPhS 22 (1976), 123. Not moving to a 'Misattributed' since it's not circulated as Callimachus'--> == Quotes about Callimachus == * The most outstanding intellect of this generation, the greatest poet that the [[w:Hellenistic period|Hellenistic age]] produced, and historically one of the most important figures in the development of Graeco-Roman (and hence European) literature. ** A. W. Bulloch, in ''The Cambridge History of Classical Literature'' (1989), edited by P. E. Easterling and B. M. W. Knox, vol. 1, part 4, p. 9<!-- Cambridge University Press --> * ''Battiades semper toto cantabitur orbe:<br>quamvis ingenio non valet, arte valet.'' ** The son of Battus shall aye be sung through all the earth; though he sway not through genius, he sways through art. ** [[Ovid]], ''Amores'', I.15.13–14 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/heroidesamores00ovid/page/376/mode/2up G. Showerman, 1914]) * His blend of sensitivity and detachment, elegance, wit, and learning, had a profound influence on later Roman poets, especially [[Gaius Valerius Catullus|Catullus]], [[Ovid]], and [[Sextus Propertius|Propertius]] (the last thought of himself as the Roman Callimachus), and through them on the whole European literary tradition. ** D. E. W. Wormell, in ''The Penguin Companion to Literature'' (1969) vol. 4, p. 47<!-- Harmondsworth: Penguin --> == External links == {{wikipedia}} {{wikisource author|Callimachus}} {{commonscat}} * [http://dcc.dickinson.edu/callimachus-aetia/prologue-against-telchines Dickinson College Commentaries: ''Aetia''] * [http://www.blackcatpoems.com/c/callimachus.html Selected Poems by Callimachus (English translations)] * [https://books.google.com/books?id=bqVfAAAAMAAJ ''Callimachus and Lycophron'' (1921) edited A. W. Mair at Google Books] ** [https://archive.org/details/callimachuslycop00calluoft ''Callimachus and Lycophron'' (1921) edited A. W. Mair at Internet archive] ** [http://www.theoi.com/Text/CallimachusHymns1.html English translation of Hymns (HTML)] ** [http://www.attalus.org/poetry/callimachus2.html English translation of Epigrams (HTML)] * [http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/collection?collection=Perseus%3Acorpus%3Aperseus%2Cauthor%2CCallimachus Callimachus at the Perseus Project: Mair (1921) and Wilamowitz (1897)] * [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFh6UZDvf1A Arrangement for strings of Stanford's setting of the Cory version of Heraclitus] [[Category:Poets from Greece]] [[Category:People from Alexandria]] [[Category:Librarians]] [[Category:Critics]] [[Category:Educators from Greece]] [[Category:BCE births]] [[Category:BCE deaths]] [[Category:Epigrammatists of the Greek Anthology]] mj3gp0b1w0m5ias5gcxac2tavt41kae 0 98030 3942091 3941586 2026-05-17T15:48:06Z ~2026-29562-80 3323577 /* The Wide Window (2000) */ 3942091 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Handlertheend.PNG|thumb|Daniel Handler in 2006]] '''[[w:Daniel Handler|Daniel Handler]]''' (born [[February 28]], [[1970]]) is an American author, screenwriter and accordionist. He is best known for his work under the pen name '''[[w:Lemony Snicket|Lemony Snicket]]'''. == Quotes == ===''[[w:The Bad Beginning|The Bad Beginning]]'' (1999) === *For Beatrice-- :Darling, dearest, dead. *It is useless to for me to describe to know how terrible Violet, Klaus and even Sunn felt in the time that followed. If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels, and if you haven't, you cannot possibly imagine it. *I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong. You can look at a painting for the first time for example, and not like it at all, but after looking at it a little longer you may find it very please. The first time you try Gorgonzola cheese you may find it too strong, but when you are older you may want to eat nothing but Gorgonzola cheese. Klaus, when Sunny was born, did not like her at all, but by the time she was six weeks old the two of them were as thick as thieves. Your initial opinion on just about anything may change over time. *It is very useful, when one is young, to learn the difference between "literally" and "figuratively." If something happens literally, it actually happens; if something happens figuratively, it feels like it is happening. If you are literally jumping for joy, for instance, it means you are leaping in the air because you are very happy. If you are figuratively jumping for joy, it means you are so happy that you could jump for joy, but are saving your energy for other matters. ===''[[w:The Reptile Room|The Reptile Room]]'' (1999) === *For Beatrice-- :My love for you shall live forever. :You, however, did not. *When you were very small, perhaps someone read to you the insipid story —the word "insipid" here means "not worth reading to someone" of the Boy Who Cried Wolf. A very dull boy, you may remember, cried "Wolf!" when there was no wolf, and the gullible villagers ran to rescue him only to find the whole thing was a joke. Then he cried "Wolf!" when it wasn't a joke, and the villagers didn't come running, and the boy was eaten and the story, thank goodness, was over. The story's moral, of course, ought to be "Never live somewhere where wolves are running around loose," but whoever read you the story probably told you that the moral was not to lie. This is an absurd moral, for you and I both know that sometimes not only is it good to lie, it is necessary to lie. For example, it was perfectly appropriate, after Violet left the Reptile Room, for Sunny to crawl over to the cage that held the Incredibly Deadly Viper, unlatch the cage, and begin screaming as loudly as she could even though nothing was really wrong. ===''[[w:The Wide Window|The Wide Window]]'' (2000) === :For Beatrice--I would much prefer it if you were alive and well. *Violet: You are being unbearable, with a U! :Klaus: And YOU are being stupid, with an S! :Sunny: Aget! (meaning "Please stop fighting!") *Oftentimes, when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too. But it never helps. -Lemony Snicket *There are few sights sadder than a ruined book. -Lemony Snicket *If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats. -Lemony Snicket *Stealing, of course, is a crime, and a very impolite thing to do. But like most impolite things, it is excusable under certain circumstances. Stealing is not excusable if, for instance, you are in a museum and you decide that a certain painting would look better in your house, and you simply grab the painting and take it there. But if you were very, very hungry, and you had no way of obtaining money, it might be excusable to grab the painting, take it to your house, and eat it. -Lemony Snicket *Aunt Josephine: "Oh, I could never sell this house. I'm terrified of realtors." *There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or, in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don't. For instance, the Baudelaire orphans have a fear of Count Olaf, which makes perfect sense, because he is an evil man who wants to destroy them. But if they were afraid of lemon meringue pie, this would be an irrational fear, because lemon meringue pie is delicious and would never hurt a soul. Being afraid of a monster under the bed is perfectly rational, because there may in fact be a monster under your bed at any time, ready to eat you all up, but fear of realtors is an irrational fear. Realtors, as I'm sure you know, are people who assist in the buying and selling of houses. Besides occasionally wearing an ugly yellow coat, the worst a realtor can do to you is show you a house that you find ugly, so it is completely irrational to be terrified of them. -Lemony Snicket *It may surprise you to learn that at this moment [looking at Captain Shan’s peg leg], Sunny resembled the famous Greek conqueror Alexander the Great. Alexander the Great lived more than two thousand years ago, and his last name was not actually "The Great." "The Great" was something that he forced people to call him, by bringing a bunch of soldiers into their land and proclaiming himself king. Besides invading other people's countries and forcing them to do whatever he said, Alexander the Great was famous for something called the Gordian Knot. The Gordian Knot was a fancy knot tied in a piece of rope by a king named Gordius. Gordius said that if Alexander could untie it, he could rule the whole kingdom. But Alexander, who was too busy conquering places to learn how to untie knots, simply drew his sword and cut the Gordian Knot in two. This was cheating, of course, but Alexander had too many soldiers for Gordius to argue, and soon everybody in Gordium had to bow down to You-Know-Who the Great. Ever since then, a difficult problem can be called a Gordian Knot, and if you solve the problem in a simple way- even if the way is rude-you are cutting the Gordian Knot. ===''[[w:The Miserable Mill|The Miserable Mill]]'' (2000)=== :To Beatrice--My love flew like a butterfly :Until death swooped down like a bat :As the poet Emma Montana McElroy said: :That's the end of that. *I’m sure you have heard it said that appearance does not matter so much and that it is what's on the inside that counts. This is, of course, utter nonsense, because if it were true then people who were good on the inside would never have to comb their hair or take a bath, and the whole world would smell even worse than it already does. -Lemony Snicket *As I'm sure you know, whenever there is a mirror around, it is almost impossible not to take a look at yourself. Even though we all know what we look like, we all like just to look at our reflections, if only to see how we're doing. -Lemony Snicket *The moral of 'The Three Bears,' for instance, is 'Never break into someone else's house." The moral of "Snow White" is "Never eat apples." The moral of World War One is "Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand". -Lemony Snicket *Dear Reader, *I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to read this book because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If this is the case, I advise you to put this book down instantaneously, because of all the books describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest yet. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are sent to Paltryville to work in a lumber mill, and they find disaster and misfortune lurking behind every log. *The pages of this book, I'm sorry to inform you, contain such unpleasantries as a giant pincer machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident resulting in injury, and coupons. *I have promised to write down the entire history of these three poor children, but you haven't, so if you prefer stories that are more heartwarming, please feel free to make another selection. *With all due respect, *Lemony Snicket *'''Klaus''': Yes, sir. *'''Violet''': ''Sir''? ===''[[w:The Austere Academy|The Austere Academy]]'' (2000)=== :For Beatrice-- :You will always be in my heart, in my mind, and in your grave. *Get out of my way, you cakesniffers! -Carmelita Spats *Klaus: ''Maybe'' I don't know what "cakesniffer" means, but I think I can translate our new school's motto... If I'm not mistaken, "Memento Mori" means "Remember you will die". *Everybody will die, of course, sooner or later. Circus performers will die, and clarinet experts will die, and you and I will die, and there might be a person who lives on your block, right now, who is not looking both ways before he crosses the street and who will die in just a few seconds, all because of a bus. Everybody will die, but very few people want to be reminded of that fact. The children certainly did not want to remember that they would die, particularly as they walked beneath the arch over Prufrock Prep. The Baudelaire orphans did not need to be reminded of this as they began their first day in the giant graveyard that was now their home. *Shyness is a very curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people are any time, and also, like quicksand, it usually makes its victims look down. *The expression "Making a mountain out of a molehill" simply means making a big deal out of something that is actually a small deal, and it is easy to see how this expression came about. Molehills are simply mounds of earth serving as condominiums for moles, and they have never caused anyone harm except for maybe a stubbed toe if you were walking around the wilderness without any shoes on. Mountains, however, are very large mounds of earth and are constantly causing problems. They are very tall, and when people try to climb them they often fall off, or get lost and die of starvation. Sometimes, two countries fight over who really owns a mountain, and thousands of people have to go to war and come home grumpy or wounded. And, of course, mountains serve as homes to mountain goats and mountain lions, who enjoy attacking helpless picnickers and eating sandwiches or children. So when someone is making a mountain out of a molehill, they are pretending that something is as horrible as a war or a ruined picnic when it is really only as horrible as a stubbed toe. *Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make--bombs for instance, or strawberry shortcake--if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble. Making assumptions simply means believing things are a certain way with little or no evidence that shows you are correct, and you can see how this can lead to terrible trouble. For instance, one morning you might wake up and make the assumption that your bed was in the same place that it always was, even though you would have no real evidence that this was so. But when you got out of your bed, you might discover that it has floated out to sea, and now you would be in terrible trouble all because of the incorrect assumption that you'd made. You can see that it is better not to make too many assumptions, particularly in the morning. *Dear Reader, :If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent and resourceful children, and you might expect that they would do very well at school. Don't. For the Baudelaires, school turns out to be another miserable episode in their unlucky lives. :Truth be told, within the chapters that make up this dreadful story, the children will face snapping crabs, strict punishments, dripping fungus, comprehensive exams, violin recitals, S.O.R.E., and the metric system. Most of all The worst thing that can happen to their friends, (Quagmires) :It is my solemn duty to stay up all night researching and writing the history of these three hapless youngsters, but you may be more comfortable getting a good night's sleep. In that case, you should probably choose some other book. :With all due respect, :Lemony Snicket ===''[[w:The Ersatz Elevator|The Ersatz Elevator]]'' (2001)=== *For Beatrice--When we met, my life began. Soon afterward, yours ended **Lemony Snicket *The world 'bubble' is in the dictionary, as is the word 'peacock,' the word 'vacation,' and the words 'the,' 'author's,' 'execution,' 'has,' 'been,' 'canceled,' which make up a sentence that is always pleasant to hear. So, if you were to read the dictionary, rather than this book, you could skip the parts about 'nervous' and 'anxious' and read about things that wouldn't keep you up all night, weeping and tearing your hair out. But this book is not a dictionary, and if you were to skip the parts about 'nervous' and 'anxious' you would be skipping the most pleasant parts of the entire story. Nowhere in this book will you find the words 'bubble,' 'peacock,' 'vacation,' or, unfortunately for me, anything about an execution being canceled. **Lemony Snicket *If you were to take a plastic bag and place it inside a large bowl, and then, using a wooden spoon, stir the bag around, you could use the expression 'a mixed bag' to describe what you had in front of you, but you would not be using the expression in the same way I am about to use it now. Although 'a mixed bag' sometimes refers to a plastic bag that has been stirred in a bowl, more often, it is used to describe a situation that has both good parts and bad parts. An afternoon movie theater, for example, would be a mixed bag if your favorite movie were showing, but if you had to eat gravel instead of popcorn. A trip to the zoo would be a very mixed bag if the weather were beautiful, but all the man and woman-eating lions were running around loose. ** Lemony Snicket *If you are ever forced to take a chemistry class, you will probably see, at the front of the classroom, a large chart divided into squares, with different numbers and letters in each of them. This chart is called the table of elements, and scientists like to say that it contains all the substances that make up our world. Like everyone else, scientists are wrong from time to time, and it is easy to see that they are wrong about the table of elements. Because although this table contains a great many elements, from the element oxygen, which is found in the air, to the element of aluminum, which is found in cans of soda, the table of elements does not contain one of the most powerful elements that make up our world, and that is the element of surprise. The element of surprise is not a gas like oxygen, or a solid, like aluminum. The element of surprise is an unfair advantage, and it can be found in situations in which one person has sneaked up on another. The surprised person - or, in this sad case, the surprised person - are too stunned to defend themselves and the sneaky person has the advantage of the element of surprise. ** Lemony Snicket ===''[[w:The Vile Village|The Vile Village]]'' (2001)=== * For Beatrice--When we were together I felt breathless. Now, you are.-Lemony Snicket * Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of ‘systematically assisting Sisyphus’s stealthy, Syst-susceptible sister,’ which is easier done than said. - Lemony Snicket<br /> *No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don't read is often as important as what you do read. For instance, if you are walking in the mountains, and you don't read the sign that says "Beware of Cliff" because you were busy reading a joke book instead, you may suddenly find yourself walking on air rather than on a sturdy bed of rocks. If you are baking a pie for your friends, and you read an article entitled "How to Build a Chair" instead of a cookbook, your pie will probably end up tasting like wood and nails instead of like crust and fruity filling. And if you insist on reading this book instead of something more cheerful, you will most certainly find yourself moaning in despair instead of wriggling with delight, so if you have any sense at all you will put this book down and pick up another one. I know of a book, for instance, called The Littlest Elf, which tells the story of a teensy-weensy little man who scurries around fairyland having all sorts of adorable adventures, and you can see at once that you should probably read The Littlest Elf and wriggle over the lovely things that happened to this imaginary creature in a made-up place, instead of reading this book and moaning over the terrible things that have happened to the three Baudelaire orphans. - Lemony Snicket<br /> *A newspaper, as I'm sure you know, is a collection of supposedly true stories written down by writers who either saw them happen or talked to people who did. These writers are called journalists, and like telephone operators, butchers, ballerinas, and people who clean up after horses, journalists can sometimes make mistakes. - Lemony Snicket *When you traveling by bus, it is always difficult to decide whether you should sit in a seat by the window, a seat on the aisle, or a seat in the middle. If you take an aisle seat, you have the advantage of being able to stretch your legs whenever you like, but you have the disadvantage of people walking by you, and they can accidentally step on your toes or spill something on your clothing. If you take a window seat, you have the advantage of getting a clear view of the scenery, but you have the disadvantage of watching insects die as they hit the glass. If you take the middle seat, you have neither of these advantages, and you have the added disadvantage of people leaning all over you when they fall asleep. You can see at once why you should always hire a limousine or rent a mule rather than take the bus to your destination. - Lemony Snicket<br /> *Although "jumping to conclusions" is an expression, rather than an activity, it is as dangerous as jumping off a cliff, jumping in front of a moving train, and jumping for joy. If you jump off a cliff, you have a very good chance of experiencing a painful landing unless there is something below you to cushion your fall, such as a body of water or an immense pile of tissue paper. If you jump in front of a moving train, you have a very good chance of experiencing a painful voyage unless you are wearing some sort of train-proof suit. And if you jump for joy, you have a very good chance of experiencing a painful bump on the head, unless you make sure you are standing someplace with very high ceilings, which joyous people rarely do. Clearly, the solution to anything involving jumping is either to make sure you are jumping to a safe place, or not to jump at all. - Lemony Snicket<br /> *In this large and fierce world of ours, there are many, many unpleasant places to be. You can be in a river swarming with angry electric eels, or in a supermarket filled with vicious long-distance runners. You can be in a hotel that has no room service, or you can be lost in a forest that is slowly filling up with water. You can be in a hornet's nest or in an abandoned airport or the office of a pediatric surgeon, but one of the most unpleasant things that can happen is to find yourself in a quandary. - Lemony Snicket<br /> *Entertaining a notion, like entertaining a baby cousin or entertaining a pack of hyenas, is a dangerous thing to refuse to do. If you refuse to entertain a baby cousin, the baby cousin may get bored and entertain itself by wandering off and falling down a well. If you refuse to entertain a pack of hyenas, they may become restless and entertain themselves by devouring you. But if you refuse to entertain a notion--which is just a fancy way of saying that you refuse to think about a certain idea--you have to be much braver than someone who is merely facing some bloodthirsty animals, or some parents who are upset and find their little darling at the bottom of a well, because nobody knows what an idea will do when it goes off to entertain itself, particularly if the idea comes from a sinister villain. - Lemony Snicket<br /> *A cloud of dust is not a beautiful thing to look at. Very few painters have done portraits of huge clouds of dust or included them in their landscapes or still life. Film directors rarely choose huge clouds of dust to play the lead roles in romantic comedies, and as far as my research has shown, a huge cloud of dust has never placed higher than twenty-fifth in a beauty pageant. - Lemony Snicket<br /> === ''[[w:The Hostile Hospital|The Hostile Hospital]]'' (2001)=== *For Beatrice--Summers without you are as cold as winter. Winters without you are even colder.-Lemony Snicket *If you are like most people, you have an assortment of friends and family you can call upon in times of trouble. For instance, if you woke up in the middle of the night and saw a masked woman trying to crawl through your bedroom window, you might call your mother or father to help you push her back out. If you found yourself hopelessly lost in the middle of a strange city, you might ask the police to give you a ride home. And if you were an author locked in an Italian restaurant that was slowly filling up with water, you might call upon your acquaintances in the locksmith, pasta, and sponge businesses to come and rescue you. **Lemony Snicket *Of all the ridiculous expressions people use--and people use a great many ridiculous expressions--one of the most ridiculous is "No news is good news." "No news is good news" simply means that if you don't hear from someone, everything is probably fine, and you can see at once why this expression makes such little sense because everything being fine is only one of many, many reasons why someone may not contact you. Perhaps they are tied up. Maybe they are surrounded by fierce weasels, or perhaps they are wedged tightly between two refrigerators and cannot get themselves out. The expression might as well be changed to "no news is bad news," except that people may not be able to contact you because they have just been crowned king or are competing in a gymnastics tournament. The point is that there is no way to know why someone has not contacted you until they contact you and explain themselves. For this reason, the sensible expression would be "no news is no news," except that it is so obvious that it is hardly an expression at all. ** Lemony Snicket<br /> *At this point in the dreadful story I am writing, I must interrupt for a moment and describe something that happened to a good friend of mine named Mr. Sirin. Mr. Sirin was a lepidopterist, a word which usually means "a person who studies butterflies." In this case, however, the word "lepidopterist" means "a man who was being pursued by angry government officials," and on the night I am telling you about they were right on his heels. Mr. Sirin looked back to see how close they were--four officers in their bright-pink uniforms, with small flashlights in their left hands and large nets in their right--and realized that in a moment they would catch up, and arrest him and his six favorite butterflies, which were frantically flapping alongside him. Mr. Sirin did not care much if he was captured--he had been in prison four and a half times over the course of his long and complicated life--but he cared very much about the butterflies. He realized that these six delicate insects would undoubtedly perish in bug prison, where poisonous spiders, stinging bees, and other criminals would rip them to shreds. So, as the secret police closed in, Mr. Sirin opened his mouth as wide as he could and swallowed all six butterflies whole, quickly placing them in the dark but safe confines of his empty stomach. It was not a pleasant feeling to have these six insects living inside him, but Mr. Sirin kept them there for three years, eating only the lightest foods served in prison so as not to crush the insects with a clump of broccoli or a baked potato. When his prison sentence was over, Mr. Sirin burped up the grateful butterflies and resumed his lepidoptery work in a community that was much more friendly to scientists and their specimens. **Lemony Snicket *Like all fairy tales, the story of Sleeping Beauty begins with "Once upon a time," and continues with a foolish young princess who makes a witch very angry, and then takes a nap until her boyfriend wakes her up with a kiss and insists on getting married, at which point the story ends with the phrase "happily ever after." **Lemony Snicket *There are many things in this world I do not know. I do not know how butterflies get out of their cocoons without damaging their wings. I do not know why anyone would boil vegetables when roasting them is much tastier. I do not know how to make olive oil, and I do not know why dogs bark before an earthquake, and I do not know why some people voluntarily choose to climb mountains where it is freezing and difficult to breathe or live in the suburbs, where the coffee is watery and all of the houses look alike. ** Lemony Snicket *Because of the information discussed on page nine, experts now suspect that there may in fact be one survivor of the fire, but the survivor's whereabouts are unknown. ** The Snicket File, page 13 ===''[[w:Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography|Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography]]'' (2002)=== *As the official representative of Lemony Snicket in all legal, literary, and social matters, I am often asked difficult questions, even when I am in a hurry. Recently, the most common questions have been the following: 1. Will you please get out of my way? 2. Where did ''Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography'' come from? The replies to both of these questions are very long stories, so there is only room to answer one of them. — Daniel Handler * Dear Diary, **Lemony Snicket * I didn't realize this was a sad occasion. — The waiter at The Anxious Clown Restaurant *Why do so many things end in fire? **Lemony Snicket *What can be hidden in a book? **Lemony Snicket *On the day you officially join the organization, you will hear a noise outside your home. It may sound like the howl of a wolf, the chirping of a cricket, the engine of an automobile, the keys of a typewriter, the striking of a match, or the turning of a page. The noise will come in the middle of the night, the middle of the morning, or, in very rare cases, late in the afternoon. Ask your parents what the noise was. If they reply 'nothing,' they are replying in code, because there is never 'nothing' outside one's home. If you are interested in volunteering, answer your parents with the following question: 'If there's nothing out there, what was that noise?' We will be listening and will know it is safe to act. — V.F.D. *As the aphorism says, If you have to ask, you can't afford it. ** Veritable French Diner ===''[[w:The Carnivorous Carnival|The Carnivorous Carnival]]'' (2002)=== *For Beatrice— Our love broke my heart, and stopped yours. **Lemony Snicket *The sad truth is that the truth is sad. **Lemony Snicket *It's hard for decent people to stay angry at someone who has burst into tears, which is why it is often a good idea to burst into tears if a decent person is yelling at you. ** Lemony Snicket *One of the most troublesome things in life is that what you do or do not want has very little to do with what does or does not happen. ** Lemony Snicket *Miracles are like meatballs because nobody knows what they are made of, where they came from, or how often they should appear. **Lemony Snicket *Besides getting several paper cuts in the same day or receiving the news that someone in your family has betrayed you to your enemies, one of the most unpleasant experiences in life is a job interview. It is very nerve-wracking to explain to someone all the things you can do in the hopes that they will pay you to do them. I once had a very difficult job interview in which I had not only to explain that I could hit an olive with a bow and arrow, memorize up to three pages of poetry, and determine if there was poison mixed into cheese fondue without tasting it, but I had to demonstrate all these things as well. In most cases, the best strategy for a job interview is to be fairly honest, because the worst thing that can happen is that you won't get the job and will spend the rest of your life foraging for food in the wilderness and seeking shelter underneath a tree or the awning of a bowling alley that has gone out of business, but in the case of the Baudelaire orphans' job interview with Madame Lulu, the situation was much more desperate. They could not be honest at all, because they were disguised as entirely different people, and the worst thing that could happen was being discovered by Count Olaf and his troupe and spending the rest of their lives in circumstances so terrible that the children could not bear to think of them. **Lemony Snicket *The story of the Baudelaires does not take place in a fictional land where lollipops grow on trees and singing mice do all of the chores. The story of the Baudelaires takes place in a very real world, where some people are laughed at just because they have something wrong with them, and where children can find themselves all alone in the world, struggling to understand the sinister mystery that surrounds them... **Lemony Snicket *With the Baudelaire orphans, it was as if their grief were a very heavy object that they each took turns carrying so that they would not all be crying at once, but sometimes the object was too heavy for one of them to move without weeping, so Violet and Sunny stood next to Klaus, reminding him that this was something they could all carry together until at last, they found a safe place to lay it down. **Lemony Snicket *The world is a harum-scarum place." <br> "Harum?" Sunny asked. <br> It's complicated and confusing," Olivia explained. They say that long ago it was simple and quiet, but that might be a legend. ===''[[The Slippery Slope|The Slippery Slope]]'' (2003)=== :For Beatrice— :When we first met, you were pretty, and I was lonely. :Now, I am pretty lonely. *Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like. *Having an aura of menace is like having a pet weasel, because you rarely meet someone who has one, and when you do it makes you want to hide under the coffee table. *Dear Reader, *Like handshakes, house pets, or raw carrots, many things are preferable when not slippery. Unfortunately, in this miserable volume, I am afraid that Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire run into more than their fair share of slipperiness during their harrowing journey up -- and down -- a range of strange and distressing mountains. *In order to spare you any further repulsion, it would be best not to mention any of the unpleasant details of this story, particularly a secret message, a toboggan, a deceitful trap, a swarm of snow gnats, a scheming villain, a troupe of organized youngsters, a covered casserole dish, and a surprising survivor of a terrible fire. *Unfortunately, I have dedicated my life to researching and recording the sad tale of the Baudelaire Orphans. There is no reason for you to dedicate yourself to such things, and you might instead dedicate yourself to letting this slippery book slip from your hands into a nearby trash receptacle, or deep pit. *With all due respect, *Lemony Snicket ===''[[w:The Grim Grotto|The Grim Grotto]]'' (2004)=== :For Beatrice— :Dead women tell no tales. :Sad men write them down. *Violet said..."We've never known anyone who could remain so cheerful, no matter what terrible things occurred. *To tell you the truth, I sometimes find it a bit tiresome," Fiona said... *My stepfather said that the amount of treachery in this world is enormous and that the best we could do was one small noble thing. **Fiona *Why, you're all grown up! The last time I saw you I was trying to throw thumbtacks into your cradle! **Count Olaf * People aren't either wicked or noble," the hook-handed man said. They're like chef's salad, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict. *As the hook-handed man circled the brig, it was as if the Baudelaires were picking through a chef's salad consisting mostly of dreadful- and perhaps even poisonous- ingredients, trying desperately to find the one noble crouton that might save their sister... **Lemony Snicket *'''Lemony Snicket:''' (narrating) When you are invited to dine, particularly with people you do not know very well, it always helps to have a conversational opener, a phrase which here means "an interesting sentence to say out loud in order to get people talking." Although lately, it has become more and more difficult to attend dinner parties without the evening ending in gunfire or tapioca, I keep a list of good and bad conversational openers in my commonplace book in order to avoid awkward pauses at the dinner table. "Who would like to see an assortment of photographs taken while I was on vacation?" for instance, is a very poor conversational opener because it is likely to make your fellow diners shudder instead of talk, whereas good conversational openers are sentences such as "What would drive a man to commit arson?," "Why do so many stories of true love end in tragedy and despair?," and "Madam DeLustrio, I believe I've discovered your true identity!" all of which are likely to provoke discussions, arguments, and accusations, thus making the dinner party much more entertaining. *'''Lemony Snicket:''' (narrating) Reading poetry, even if you are only reading to find a secret message within its words, can often give one a feeling of power, the way you can feel powerful if you are the only one who brought an umbrella on a rainy day or the only one who knows how to untie knots when you're taken hostage. *I'm happier than a pig eating bacon!" Count Olaf cried. "I'm tickled pinker than a sun-burned Caucasian! I'm in higher spirits than a brand-new graveyard! I'm so happy-go-lucky that lucky and happy people are going to beat me with sticks out of pure, unbridled jealousy! *There is evil out there you cannot even imagine. -Captain Widdershins * C is for Cute<br>A is for Adorable<br>R is for Ravishing<br>M is for Gorgeous<br>E is for Excellent<br>L is for Lovable<br>I is for I'm the best!<br>T is for Talented<br>A is for "A tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian! ''NOW LET'S START MY WHOLE WONDERFUL SONG ALL OVER AGAIN!'' *Carmelita Spats, who oughtta be told "Gorgeous" does not start with an M. *I can't stand the lyrics. **Klaus ===''[[w:The Penultimate Peril|The Penultimate Peril]]'' (2005)=== *For Beatrice— No one could extinguish my love, or your house. ** Lemony Snicket *Richard Wright, an American novelist of the realist school, asks a famous unfathomable question in his best-known novel, ''Native Son''. Who knows when some slight shock, he asks, disturbing the delicate balance between social order and thirsty aspiration, shall send the skyscrapers in our cities toppling? **Lemony Snicket (351-352) *"Whenever you see someone in a taxi, they are probably being driven to do some errand. Surely there must be something you need to do, or somewhere you need to go. A great American novelist wrote that people travel faster now, but she wasn't sure if they do better things. Maybe you would do better things if you traveled at this very moment." - Man in taxi (possibly Lemony Snicket) * '''Lemony Snicket:''' (narrating) But the three siblings were not born yesterday. Violet was born more than fifteen years before this particular Wednesday, and Klaus was born approximately two years after that, and even Sunny, who had just passed out of babyhood, was not born yesterday. Neither were you, unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life. *The name John Godfrey Saxe is not likely to mean anything to you, unless you are a fan of American humorist poets of the nineteenth century. There are not many such people in the world, but the Baudelaires' father was one of them, and had several poems committed to memory. From time to time he would get into a whimsical mood-the word "whimsical," as you probably know, means "odd and impulsive"-and would grab the nearest Baudelaire child, bounce him or her up and down on his lap, and recite a poem by John Godfrey Saxe about an elephant. In the poem, six blind men encountered an elephant for the first time and were unable to agree on what the animal was like. The first man felt the tall, smooth side of the elephant, and concluded that an elephant was like a wall. The second man felt the tusk of the elephant, and decided that an elephant resembled a spear. The third man felt the trunk of the elephant, and the fourth felt one of the elephant's legs, and so on and so on, with all of the blind men bickering over what an elephant is like. As with many children, Violet and Klaus had grown old enough to find their father's whimsical moods a little embarrassing, so Sunny had become the primary audience for Mr. Baudelaire's poetry recital, and remembered the poem best. *"Burn down hotel!" Sunny said. *Never mind what you were doing, Olaf said. You're fired!<br>You can't fire me! Esme growled. I quit!<br>Well, you can leave by mutual agreement, Olaf grumbled and then with another succinct Ha! he lifted the harpoon gun and pointed it at Dewey Denouement. *By "Preludio," her siblings knew, Sunny was referring to the Hotel Preludio, and the weekend vacation the entire Baudelaire family had spent there. As Kit Snicket had mentioned, the Hotel Preludio was a lovely place, and I am happy to report that it is still standing, like a small mercy, and that its ballroom still has its famous chandeliers, which are shaped like enormous jellyfish and move up and down in time to the music that the orchestra plays, and that the bookstore in the lobby still specializes in the work of American novelists of the realist school, and the outdoor swimming pool is still as beautiful as it ever was, its reflection of the hotel windows shimmering whenever anyone dives in to swim laps. But the Baudelaire orphans were not remembering the chandeliers, or the bookstore, or even the swimming pool, where Sunny first learned to blow bubbles. They were remembering a prank their father had taught them, when he was in one of his whimsical moods, that can be played in any elevator. The prank, a word which here means "joke played on someone with whom you are sharing an elevator," is best played at the moment when you are about to get off the elevator, and your fellow passengers are heading to a higher story. The Baudelaires' mother had objected to their father teaching them such a prank, as she said it was undignified, but their father had pointed out it was no more undignified than doing magic tricks with dinner rolls, which their mother had done that very morning in the hotel restaurant, and she reluctantly agreed to participate in the prank. This particular moment in the Baudelaires' lives, of course, was not the best one for a prank, but Violet and Klaus saw immediately what their sister had in mind, and when the sliding doors opened and Count Olaf stomped inside the elevator, the three Baudelaires followed him and immediately pressed every single button. When the Baudelaires' father had done this after exiting the elevator, it meant that the remaining passenger, a tiresome woman named Eleanora. had been forced to visit every story on the way up to her room, but here in the Hotel Denouement, the prank served a dual purpose, a phrase which here means "enabled the Baudelaires to do two things at once." *I'll have ten grams of rice, Mrs. Bass interrupted, one tenth of a hectogram of shrimp vindaloo, a dekagram of chana aloo masala, one thousand centigrams of tandori salmon, four samosas with surface area of nineteen cubic centimeters, five deciliters of mango lassi, and a sada rava dosai that's exactly nineteen centimeters long. **page 134. *'''Violet:''' "Fire! Attention everyone! There's a fire in the hotel! Please leave at once!" :'''The man with a beard but no hair:''' "Fire? Good work, Olaf!" :'''Jerome Squalor:''' What do you mean, good work?" :'''The man with a beard but no hair:''' "I meant to say, 'there's Olaf!'"''[pushs Jerome in the direction of the elevator]'' "Capture him! He needs to be brought to the authorities!" :'''Frank (probably):''' "Olaf is here? I'm going to capture him!" :'''Ernest (probably):''' "Where are the Baudelaires? I'm going to capture them!" :'''The woman with hair but no beard:''' "In the elevator!" :'''Violet:''' "Call the fire department!" . :'''Either Frank or Ernest:''' "Which one?" :'''Count Olaf:''' "Those judges promised that if I waited until tomorrow I'd see all my enemies destroyed, and now they're trying to capture me. I knew they'd fail me some day." :''[the elevator stops on another floor]'' :'''Klaus:''' "There's a fire in the hotel! Everyone leave at once!" :'''Esmé Squalor:''' "A fire? Who said that?" :'''Klaus:''' "It's Klaus Baudelaire. You need to get out of the hotel!" :'''Carmelita Spats:''' "Don't listen to that cakesniffer! He's just trying to escape from us! Let's take off our blindfolds and peek!" :'''Count Olaf:''' "Don't take off your blindfolds! Those Baudelaires are guilty of contempt of court, and they're trying to trick you into joining them! There's no fire! Whatever you do, don't leave the hotel!" :'''Klaus:''' "We're not tricking you! Olaf is tricking you! Please believe us!" :'''Esmé:''' "I don't know who to believe, you orphans are as dishonest as my ex-boyfriend." :'''Carmelita:''' "Leave us alone! We can find our own way!" :''[the elevator stops on another floor]'' :'''Sunny:''' “Fire! Use stairs. Do not use elevator!" :'''Mr. Poe:''' "Sunny Baudelaire? Don't add the false reporting of fire to your list of crimes! You're already guilty of contempt of court, and perhaps murder!" :'''Justice Strauss:''' "It's not false! There really is a fire, Mr. Poe! Leave this hotel!" :'''Mr. Poe:''' "I can't leave [coughs], I'm still in charge of the Baudelaires' affairs and their parents' fort-" :The elevator doors closed before Mr. Poe could finish his word, and the Baudelaires were taken away from the banker one last time, and with each stop of the elevator, I'm sorry to say, it was more or less the same. The Baudelaires saw Mrs. Bass on the third story, still wearing her small blond wig like a snowcap on the top of a mountain peak, and her blindfold, stretched over her small, narrow mask, and they saw Mr. Remora, who was wandering around the seventh story with Vice Principal Nero. They saw Geraldine Julienne, who was using her microphone the way some blind people use a cane, and they saw Charles and Sir, who were holding hands so as not to lose one another, and they saw Hugo and Colette and Kevin, who were holding the birdpaper Klaus had hung outside the window of the sauna, and they saw Mr. Lesko arguing with Mrs. Morrow, and they saw a man with a guitar making friends with a woman in a crow-shaped hat, and they saw many people they did not recognize, either as volunteers or as villains, who were wandering the hallways of the hotel to capture anyone they might find suspicious. Some of these people believed the Baudelaires when they told them the news of the fire, and some of these people believed Count Olaf when he told them that the Baudelaires were lying, and some of these people believed Justice Strauss when she told them that Count Olaf was lying when he said the Baudelaires were lying when they told them the news of the fire. But the elevator's stop on each story of the hotel was very brief, and the children had only a glimpse of each of these people. They heard Mrs. Bass mutter something about a getaway car, and they heard Mr. Remora wonder something about fried bananas. They heard Nero worry about his violin case, and Geraldine squeal about headlines, and they heard Charles and Sir bicker over whether or not fires were good for the lumber industry. They heard Hugo ask if the plan for the hors d'ouvres was still in operation, and they heard Colette ask about plucking the feathers off crows, and they heard Kevin complain that he didn't know whether to hold the birdpaper in his right hand or his left hand, and they heard Mr. Lesko insult Mrs. Morrow, and the bearded man sing a song to the woman with the crow-shaped hat, and they heard a man call for Bruce and a woman call for her mother and dozens of people whisper to and shout at, argue with and agree upon, angrily accuse and meekly defend, furiously compliment and kindly insult dozens of other people, both inside and outside the Hotel Denouement, whose names the Baudelaires recognized, forgot, and had never heard before. Each story had its story, and each story's story was unfathomable in the Baudelaire orphans' short journey, and many of the stories' stories are unfathomable to me, even after all these lonely years and all this lonely research. Perhaps some of these stories are clearer to you, because you have spied upon the people involved. Perhaps Mrs. Bass has changed her name and lives near you, or perhaps Mr. Remora's name is the same, and he lives far away. Perhaps Nero now works as a grocery store clerk, or Geraldine Julienne now teaches arts and crafts. Perhaps Charles and Sir are no longer partners, and you have had the occasion to study one of them as he sat across from you on a bus, or perhaps Hugo, Colette, and Kevin are still comrades, and you have followed these unfathomable people after noticing that one of them used both hands equally. Perhaps Mr. Lesko is now your neighbor, or Mrs. Morrow is now your sister, or your mother, or your aunt or wife or even your husband. Perhaps the noise you hear outside your door is a bearded man trying to climb into your window, or perhaps it is a woman in a crow-shaped hat hailing a taxi. Perhaps you have spotted the managers of the Hotel Denouement, or the judges of the High Court, or the waiters of Cafe Salmonella or the Anxious Clown, or perhaps you have met an expert on injustice or become one yourself. Perhaps the people in your unfathomable life, and their unfathomable stories, are clear to you as you make your way in the world, but when the elevator stopped for the last time, and the doors slid open to reveal the tilted roof of the Hotel Denouement, the Baudelaires felt as if they were balancing very delicately on a mysterious and perplexing heap of unfathomable mysteries. They did not know who would survive the fire they had helped set, and who would perish. They did not know who thought they were volunteers and who thought they were villains, or who believed they were innocent and who believed they were guilty. And they did not know if their own observations, errands, and deeds meant that they were noble, or wicked, or somewhere in between. *The last safe place is safe no more. ** Sunny ===''[[w:The End (novel)|The End]]'' (2006)=== *For Beatrice — I cherished, you perished, The world's been nightmarished **Lemony Snicket *"I won't force you." - Ishmael *If you have read this far in the chronicle of the Baudelaire orphans—and I certainly hope you have not—then you know we have reached the thirteenth chapter of the thirteenth volume in this sad history, and so you know the end is near, even though this chapter is so lengthy that you might never reach the end of it. But perhaps you do not yet know what the end really means. "The end" is a phrase which refers to the completion of a story, or the final moment of some accomplishment, such as a secret errand, or a great deal of research, and indeed this thirteenth volume marks the completion of my investigation into the Baudelaire case, which required much research, a great many secret errands, and the accomplishments of a number of my comrades, from a trolley driver to a botanical hybridization expert, with many, many typewriter repair people in between. But it cannot be said that The End contains the end of the Baudelaires' story, any more than The Bad Beginning contained its beginning. The children's story began long before that terrible day on Briny Beach, but there would have to be another volume to chronicle when the Baudelaires were born, and when their parents married, and who was playing the violin in the candlelit restaurant when the Baudelaire parents first laid eyes on one another, and what was hidden inside that violin, and the childhood of the man who orphaned the girl who put it there, and even then it could not be said that the Baudelaires' story had not begun, because you would still need to know about a certain tea party held in a penthouse suite, and the baker who made the scones served at the tea party, and the baker's assistant who smuggled the secret ingredient into the scone batter through a very narrow drainpipe, and how a crafty volunteer created the illusion of a fire in the kitchen simply by wearing a certain dress and jumping around, and even then the beginning of the story would be as far away as the shipwreck that left the Baudelaire parents as castaways on the coastal shelf is far away from the outrigger on which the islanders would depart. One could say, in fact, that no story really has a beginning, and that no story really has an end, as all of the world's stories are as jumbled as the items in the arboretum, with their details and secrets all heaped together so that the whole story, from beginning to end, depends on how you look at it. We might even say that the world is always in medias res— a Latin phrase which means "in the midst of things" or "in the middle of a narrative"—and that it is impossible to solve any mystery, or find the root of any trouble, and so The End is really the middle of the story, as many people in this history will live long past the close of Chapter Thirteen, or even the beginning of the story, as a new child arrives in the world at the chapter's close. But one cannot sit in the midst of things forever. Eventually one must face that the end is near, and the end of The End is quite near indeed, so if I were you I would not read the end of The End, as it contains the end of a notorious villain but also the end of a brave and noble sibling, and the end of the colonists' stay on the island, as they sail off the end of the coastal shelf. The end of The End contains all these ends, and that does not depend on how you look at it, so it might be best for you to stop looking at The End before the end of The End arrives, and to stop reading The End before you read the end, as the stories that end in The End that began in The Bad Beginning are beginning to end now. ===''[[w:The Beatrice Letters|The Beatrice Letters]]'' (2006)=== * I will love you no matter how many mistakes I make when trying to reduce fractions, and no matter how difficult it is to memorize the periodic table. * I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. * I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms. *I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see. === ''[[w:Adverbs (novel)|Adverbs]]'' (2006) === ==== ''Immediately'' ==== * Love was in the air so both of us walked through love on our way to the corner. * The world gets grimy and the love object is in stark relief from its surroundings. This is love, a pretty thing on an ugly street and why wouldn't you pick it up if it appeared in a taxi cab. * I'm frightened by your behaviour. I woke up this morning and you said good morning and i said good morning, what do you feel like doing today, and you said well i sort of have to do this thing, and i said what thing and you said go to the reading of my father's will, and I said what are you talking about and then you told me that your dad had died. THIS MORNING. ==== ''Obviously'' ==== * If i were a little braver i would have asked her something like, "Do you think Kickass: the movie is a comedy in the traditional, classical sense?" and we could have that conversation and it would lead to other conversations during the flat and lonely times. * Standing ten feet away from Lila was sort of kickass with her nails drumming on the box with the slot in, where we put everything that we rip in half, and with her blue-eyed beauty and with the gum she was chewing and how lovely she was, in that way that makes you want to find something else lovely just so you can give it to her and see how really kickass it is to have to lovely things next to each other. * Keith has one of those all terrain things that will come in so handy when the world ends and we need a nine-thousand -cylinder engine to drive over those hordes of blood-thirsty mutants crawling all over the video-game landscape. * This world is suchier than we are, and the best thing to do is keep moving and find your keys. ==== ''Arguably'' ==== * Money money money money money money money money money. Let no one say it has no place in a love story. It has a particular place. It is something on the right shelf. * This is love, moving to where the money is, and all the while a volcano or an ex-girlfriend might blow the whole thing to hell, as the Americans say. As everybody says. ==== ''Particularly'' ==== * … the point is, why is there cruelty? Why do people ask other people to do impossible things? why behave this way? why is there mean, when there are better things than mean, love particularly? * "I love you, too" David said and took the bottle.<br>"I want you to love me in particular," Helena said ==== ''Soundly'' ==== * It's always dawnest before dark * I'm full of hard times today * The right boys I always toss and the wrong ones I keep on top of me like paperweights. ==== ''Frigidly'' ==== * What a bad day it was, the clouds were low and cloudy, the rain no fun, and the dark as it hit the late afternoon thick like someone who stops by your place and just won't leave. The day was canceled, almost, on account of the rain spilling itself over everything. * This was that day if you know what I mean. * It was a bad day for love. * The rain, the rain, the rain. You can't even hear it outside the window but still it's a sad thing. Rain, the grade school teachers say, makes the trees and flowers grow, but we're not trees and flower, and so many grade school teachers are single. * She said, "We're detectives" in the tone of voice that someone might say, "Making you happy isn't making me happy" * They could not love anymore, they thought, just drink and pour coffee and track people down in the rain. They were living frigidly, as if in a cone of frost. * All love gets over, and we must get over it. ==== ''Collectively'' ==== * Love can smack you like a seagull, and pour all over your feet like junkmail. You can't be ready for such a thing any more than salt water taffy gets you ready for the ocean. * Mike could see the fellow cooked and ate and sat on a sofa and put his feet up on the table it magazines. Mike didn't care which ones the fellow subscribed to, because Mike had subscribed to the fellow. * This is love, and the trouble with it: it can make you embarrassed. Love is really liking someone a whole lot and not wanting to screw that up. Everybody's chewed over this. This unites us, this part of love. * I find you interesting, Joe, so nearly everything you say will be interesting too. I love you. I could say I'm lonely but that's not the only reason. * "I'm not - the terrific guy you keep telling me about. I'm not made of sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm made of rats and snails and puppy-dogs tails. I lie sometimes. I have broken people's hearts. I'm looking for love, I'll admit that, but now that it's here in abundance, I'm afraid of commitment and I want you, please, to leave me." ==== ''Symbolically'' ==== * [she] gave me a puzzled frown like she thought offhand i was dead but the media's so unreliable these days. * That's always where the love goes, with somebody else away from me. ==== ''Clearly'' ==== * All four of them have completely abandoned one another. * Adam hates Tomas and tried to get Eddie to join him in hate. It hasn't worked, although Eddie will admit certain shortcomings, and the two men have not met until now, in the forest, when Adam has decided that Tomas in Eddie's stories and the Tomas in this story are the same man. ==== ''Naturally'' ==== * It was the sort of day when people walk in the park and solve problems. "We'll simply call the taxi company, David, and request a large one, like one of those vans." Is the sort of thing you would overhear if you were overhearing in the park. * ''Dear Joe'' The letter said ''The windows rattle without you, you bastard. The trees are the cause, rattling in the wind, you jerk, the wild scraping those leaves and twigs against my window. They'll keep on doing this, you terrible husband, and slowly wear away our entire apartment.'' ==== ''Wrongly'' ==== * "Yeah, I have a question," said the guy with the wicked eyes... "My question is, I quit. I'm going to quit." * What he'd just said was "Who cares?" and nobody wants to hear that. * South San Francisco The Industrial City is ugly as sin but somebody lives there: Allison, in fact. * He's been misled and he's been afraid. He's been hit in the head and left for dead. He's been abused and he's been accused and he's been refused a piece of bread. On and on he goes down this road getting pushed around and lost and around and given until sundown to get out of town, and yet this is basically a love song. He's had the shit kicked out of him, and guess what? It's love. * "When I was crazy." the radio explained, "I thought you were great." * Allison squinted at the strange, catastrophic sky, and took another step, another step, another step, because in the future - she could see it - this would not be happening. ==== ''Truly'' ==== * If you follow the diamond in my mother's ring from Africa to Germany to California to Arizona to Wisconsin, in the heel of a grandmother, in the beak of a magpie, in the gravel of the path, in someone else's novel, in the center of the earth where the volcanoes are from, you would forget the miracle, the reason diamonds end up in people's fingers in the first place. it is not the diamonds or the birds, the people or the potatoes, it is not any of the nouns. The miracle is the adverbs, the way things are done. It is the way love gets done despite every catastrophe. ==== ''Not Particularly'' ==== * "I know" Helena said and this is another example of why behave this way? Things just poured out of her mouth lately, like vomit, and sometimes it actually was. * They are all one, the mothers of us all, like the money you spent. Imagine the vanish of weight if the advice of your mother never existed. They tell us things, unless we have no mothers and either way things turn out such that nothing you've ever heard is ever any help. ==== ''Often'' ==== * "Instead of change, please give me gun so i can shoot you." She is soft-spoken but short and full of rage lately, like her whole life. * He bought a bird in its own cage, with a sheet over it so no one could see the bird and the bird couldn't see anyone, and the whole thing was a secret bird... Everything he said was tinged with the unreadability of someone who would bring a bird on cruise ship. * "Oh my god!" Hillary is standing in the doorway of the bathroom of the bathroom which on one had is surprising but there's the other hand, too. * "Help me," Allison says, but she is soft-spoken, and everyone she loves is so far away. ==== ''Barely'' ==== * Over the years they had developed a layer of sincerity over the irony over the sincerity. It was an irony sandwich, then, which tasted mostly like sincerity, like a cheap, bad sandwich. * Wedding after wedding after wedding and then yours - your wedding? Would that make you what they're now calling happy? * God, or somebody, what is it with terrible things? If you made this world why not a better one? ==== ''Judgmentally'' ==== * judgmentally, judgmentally, judgmentally I would believe in you and sword fight others who did not, any necessary sacrifice if you were in the mood for that. * They say love's like a bus, and if you wait long enough another one will come along, but not in this place where the buses are slow and most of the cute ones are gay. ===''[[The End (novel)|The End]]'' (2006)=== *If you have ever peeled an onion, then you know that the first thin, papery layer reveals another thin, papery layer, and that layer reveals another, and another, and before you know it you have hundreds of layers all over the kitchen table and thousands of tears in your eyes, sorry that you ever started peeling in the first place and wishing that you had left the onion alone to wither away on the shelf of the pantry while you went on with your life, even if that meant never again enjoying the complicated and overwhelming taste of this strange and bitter vegetable. <br><br>In this way, the story of the Baudelaire orphans is like an onion, and if you insist on reading each and every thin, papery layer in A Series of Unfortunate Events, your only reward will be 170 chapters of misery in your library and countless tears in your eyes. Even if you have read the first twelve volumes of the Baudelaires' story, it is not too late to stop peeling away the layers, and to put this book back on the shelf to wither away while you read something less complicated and overwhelming. The end of this unhappy chronicle is like its bad beginning, as each misfortune only reveals another, and another, and another, and only those with the stomach for this strange and bitter tale should venture any farther into the Baudelaire onion. I'm sorry to tell you this, but that is how the story goes. **Chapter 1 *''Olaf:'' Of course I'm trying to trick you! That's the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everyone runs around with their secrets and their schemes, trying to outwit everyone else. Ishmael outwitted me, and put me in this cage. But I know how to outwit him and all his islander friends. If you let me out, I can be king of Olaf-Land, and you three can be my new henchfolk. ''Klaus:'' We don't want to be your henchfolk, we just want to be safe. ''Olaf:'' Nowhere in the world is safe. **Chapter 7 *''Friday'': Baudelaires, please come with me.<br>''Olaf'': What about me?<br>''Friday'': Go away. *Of course, it is quite possible to be in the dark in the dark, but there are so many secrets in the world that it is likely that you are always in the dark about one thing or another, whether you are in the dark in the dark or in the dark not in the dark, although the sun can go down so quickly that you may be in the in the dark about being in the dark, only to look around and find yourself no longer in the dark about being in the dark, but in the dark in the dark nontheless, not only because of the dark, but because of the ballerinas in the dark, who are not in the dark about the dark, but also not in the dark about the locked cabinet, and you may be in the dark about the ballerinas digging up the locked cabinet in the dark, even though you are no longer in the dark about being in the dark, and so you are in fact in the dark about being in the dark, even though you are not in the dark about being in the dark, and so you may fall into the hole that the ballerinas have dug, which is dark, in the dark, and in the park. **Chapter 9 *Perhaps if we saw what was ahead of us, and glimpsed the crimes, follies, and misfortunes that would befall us later on, we would all stay in our mother's wombs, and there would be nobody in the world but a great number of very fat, very irritated women. *''Olaf'': I'm a genius! I've solved all of our problems! Look!<br>''Violet'': Renaming the boat doesn't solve any of our problems. *''Beatrice.'' **Chapter 14 * Halloween seems to last forever, until it is finally time to put on one's costume and demand candy from strangers. Dear Reader, You are presumably looking at the back of this book, or the end of THE END. The end of THE END is the best place to begin THE END, because if you read THE END from the beginning of the beginning of THE END to the end of the end of THE END, you will arrive at the end of your rope. == See also == * ''[[Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events]]'' == External links == {{wikipedia}} {{commons category}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Handler, Daniel}} [[Category:Novelists from the United States]] [[Category:Short story writers from the United States]] [[Category:Screenwriters from the United States]] [[Category:1970 births]] [[Category:Living people]] [[Category:People from San Francisco]] [[Category:Postmodern authors]] [[Category:Feminists]] [[Category:Humanists]] [[fa:دنیل هندلر]] 8tg3ufgoeak1u540sjvksq42jc4wato 3942093 3942091 2026-05-17T16:35:21Z ~2026-29562-80 3323577 /* The Grim Grotto (2004) */ 3942093 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Handlertheend.PNG|thumb|Daniel Handler in 2006]] '''[[w:Daniel Handler|Daniel Handler]]''' (born [[February 28]], [[1970]]) is an American author, screenwriter and accordionist. He is best known for his work under the pen name '''[[w:Lemony Snicket|Lemony Snicket]]'''. == Quotes == ===''[[w:The Bad Beginning|The Bad Beginning]]'' (1999) === *For Beatrice-- :Darling, dearest, dead. *It is useless to for me to describe to know how terrible Violet, Klaus and even Sunn felt in the time that followed. If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels, and if you haven't, you cannot possibly imagine it. *I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong. You can look at a painting for the first time for example, and not like it at all, but after looking at it a little longer you may find it very please. The first time you try Gorgonzola cheese you may find it too strong, but when you are older you may want to eat nothing but Gorgonzola cheese. Klaus, when Sunny was born, did not like her at all, but by the time she was six weeks old the two of them were as thick as thieves. Your initial opinion on just about anything may change over time. *It is very useful, when one is young, to learn the difference between "literally" and "figuratively." If something happens literally, it actually happens; if something happens figuratively, it feels like it is happening. If you are literally jumping for joy, for instance, it means you are leaping in the air because you are very happy. If you are figuratively jumping for joy, it means you are so happy that you could jump for joy, but are saving your energy for other matters. ===''[[w:The Reptile Room|The Reptile Room]]'' (1999) === *For Beatrice-- :My love for you shall live forever. :You, however, did not. *When you were very small, perhaps someone read to you the insipid story —the word "insipid" here means "not worth reading to someone" of the Boy Who Cried Wolf. A very dull boy, you may remember, cried "Wolf!" when there was no wolf, and the gullible villagers ran to rescue him only to find the whole thing was a joke. Then he cried "Wolf!" when it wasn't a joke, and the villagers didn't come running, and the boy was eaten and the story, thank goodness, was over. The story's moral, of course, ought to be "Never live somewhere where wolves are running around loose," but whoever read you the story probably told you that the moral was not to lie. This is an absurd moral, for you and I both know that sometimes not only is it good to lie, it is necessary to lie. For example, it was perfectly appropriate, after Violet left the Reptile Room, for Sunny to crawl over to the cage that held the Incredibly Deadly Viper, unlatch the cage, and begin screaming as loudly as she could even though nothing was really wrong. ===''[[w:The Wide Window|The Wide Window]]'' (2000) === :For Beatrice--I would much prefer it if you were alive and well. *Violet: You are being unbearable, with a U! :Klaus: And YOU are being stupid, with an S! :Sunny: Aget! (meaning "Please stop fighting!") *Oftentimes, when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too. But it never helps. -Lemony Snicket *There are few sights sadder than a ruined book. -Lemony Snicket *If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats. -Lemony Snicket *Stealing, of course, is a crime, and a very impolite thing to do. But like most impolite things, it is excusable under certain circumstances. Stealing is not excusable if, for instance, you are in a museum and you decide that a certain painting would look better in your house, and you simply grab the painting and take it there. But if you were very, very hungry, and you had no way of obtaining money, it might be excusable to grab the painting, take it to your house, and eat it. -Lemony Snicket *Aunt Josephine: "Oh, I could never sell this house. I'm terrified of realtors." *There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or, in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don't. For instance, the Baudelaire orphans have a fear of Count Olaf, which makes perfect sense, because he is an evil man who wants to destroy them. But if they were afraid of lemon meringue pie, this would be an irrational fear, because lemon meringue pie is delicious and would never hurt a soul. Being afraid of a monster under the bed is perfectly rational, because there may in fact be a monster under your bed at any time, ready to eat you all up, but fear of realtors is an irrational fear. Realtors, as I'm sure you know, are people who assist in the buying and selling of houses. Besides occasionally wearing an ugly yellow coat, the worst a realtor can do to you is show you a house that you find ugly, so it is completely irrational to be terrified of them. -Lemony Snicket *It may surprise you to learn that at this moment [looking at Captain Shan’s peg leg], Sunny resembled the famous Greek conqueror Alexander the Great. Alexander the Great lived more than two thousand years ago, and his last name was not actually "The Great." "The Great" was something that he forced people to call him, by bringing a bunch of soldiers into their land and proclaiming himself king. Besides invading other people's countries and forcing them to do whatever he said, Alexander the Great was famous for something called the Gordian Knot. The Gordian Knot was a fancy knot tied in a piece of rope by a king named Gordius. Gordius said that if Alexander could untie it, he could rule the whole kingdom. But Alexander, who was too busy conquering places to learn how to untie knots, simply drew his sword and cut the Gordian Knot in two. This was cheating, of course, but Alexander had too many soldiers for Gordius to argue, and soon everybody in Gordium had to bow down to You-Know-Who the Great. Ever since then, a difficult problem can be called a Gordian Knot, and if you solve the problem in a simple way- even if the way is rude-you are cutting the Gordian Knot. ===''[[w:The Miserable Mill|The Miserable Mill]]'' (2000)=== :To Beatrice--My love flew like a butterfly :Until death swooped down like a bat :As the poet Emma Montana McElroy said: :That's the end of that. *I’m sure you have heard it said that appearance does not matter so much and that it is what's on the inside that counts. This is, of course, utter nonsense, because if it were true then people who were good on the inside would never have to comb their hair or take a bath, and the whole world would smell even worse than it already does. -Lemony Snicket *As I'm sure you know, whenever there is a mirror around, it is almost impossible not to take a look at yourself. Even though we all know what we look like, we all like just to look at our reflections, if only to see how we're doing. -Lemony Snicket *The moral of 'The Three Bears,' for instance, is 'Never break into someone else's house." The moral of "Snow White" is "Never eat apples." The moral of World War One is "Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand". -Lemony Snicket *Dear Reader, *I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to read this book because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If this is the case, I advise you to put this book down instantaneously, because of all the books describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest yet. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are sent to Paltryville to work in a lumber mill, and they find disaster and misfortune lurking behind every log. *The pages of this book, I'm sorry to inform you, contain such unpleasantries as a giant pincer machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident resulting in injury, and coupons. *I have promised to write down the entire history of these three poor children, but you haven't, so if you prefer stories that are more heartwarming, please feel free to make another selection. *With all due respect, *Lemony Snicket *'''Klaus''': Yes, sir. *'''Violet''': ''Sir''? ===''[[w:The Austere Academy|The Austere Academy]]'' (2000)=== :For Beatrice-- :You will always be in my heart, in my mind, and in your grave. *Get out of my way, you cakesniffers! -Carmelita Spats *Klaus: ''Maybe'' I don't know what "cakesniffer" means, but I think I can translate our new school's motto... If I'm not mistaken, "Memento Mori" means "Remember you will die". *Everybody will die, of course, sooner or later. Circus performers will die, and clarinet experts will die, and you and I will die, and there might be a person who lives on your block, right now, who is not looking both ways before he crosses the street and who will die in just a few seconds, all because of a bus. Everybody will die, but very few people want to be reminded of that fact. The children certainly did not want to remember that they would die, particularly as they walked beneath the arch over Prufrock Prep. The Baudelaire orphans did not need to be reminded of this as they began their first day in the giant graveyard that was now their home. *Shyness is a very curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people are any time, and also, like quicksand, it usually makes its victims look down. *The expression "Making a mountain out of a molehill" simply means making a big deal out of something that is actually a small deal, and it is easy to see how this expression came about. Molehills are simply mounds of earth serving as condominiums for moles, and they have never caused anyone harm except for maybe a stubbed toe if you were walking around the wilderness without any shoes on. Mountains, however, are very large mounds of earth and are constantly causing problems. They are very tall, and when people try to climb them they often fall off, or get lost and die of starvation. Sometimes, two countries fight over who really owns a mountain, and thousands of people have to go to war and come home grumpy or wounded. And, of course, mountains serve as homes to mountain goats and mountain lions, who enjoy attacking helpless picnickers and eating sandwiches or children. So when someone is making a mountain out of a molehill, they are pretending that something is as horrible as a war or a ruined picnic when it is really only as horrible as a stubbed toe. *Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make--bombs for instance, or strawberry shortcake--if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble. Making assumptions simply means believing things are a certain way with little or no evidence that shows you are correct, and you can see how this can lead to terrible trouble. For instance, one morning you might wake up and make the assumption that your bed was in the same place that it always was, even though you would have no real evidence that this was so. But when you got out of your bed, you might discover that it has floated out to sea, and now you would be in terrible trouble all because of the incorrect assumption that you'd made. You can see that it is better not to make too many assumptions, particularly in the morning. *Dear Reader, :If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent and resourceful children, and you might expect that they would do very well at school. Don't. For the Baudelaires, school turns out to be another miserable episode in their unlucky lives. :Truth be told, within the chapters that make up this dreadful story, the children will face snapping crabs, strict punishments, dripping fungus, comprehensive exams, violin recitals, S.O.R.E., and the metric system. Most of all The worst thing that can happen to their friends, (Quagmires) :It is my solemn duty to stay up all night researching and writing the history of these three hapless youngsters, but you may be more comfortable getting a good night's sleep. In that case, you should probably choose some other book. :With all due respect, :Lemony Snicket ===''[[w:The Ersatz Elevator|The Ersatz Elevator]]'' (2001)=== *For Beatrice--When we met, my life began. Soon afterward, yours ended **Lemony Snicket *The world 'bubble' is in the dictionary, as is the word 'peacock,' the word 'vacation,' and the words 'the,' 'author's,' 'execution,' 'has,' 'been,' 'canceled,' which make up a sentence that is always pleasant to hear. So, if you were to read the dictionary, rather than this book, you could skip the parts about 'nervous' and 'anxious' and read about things that wouldn't keep you up all night, weeping and tearing your hair out. But this book is not a dictionary, and if you were to skip the parts about 'nervous' and 'anxious' you would be skipping the most pleasant parts of the entire story. Nowhere in this book will you find the words 'bubble,' 'peacock,' 'vacation,' or, unfortunately for me, anything about an execution being canceled. **Lemony Snicket *If you were to take a plastic bag and place it inside a large bowl, and then, using a wooden spoon, stir the bag around, you could use the expression 'a mixed bag' to describe what you had in front of you, but you would not be using the expression in the same way I am about to use it now. Although 'a mixed bag' sometimes refers to a plastic bag that has been stirred in a bowl, more often, it is used to describe a situation that has both good parts and bad parts. An afternoon movie theater, for example, would be a mixed bag if your favorite movie were showing, but if you had to eat gravel instead of popcorn. A trip to the zoo would be a very mixed bag if the weather were beautiful, but all the man and woman-eating lions were running around loose. ** Lemony Snicket *If you are ever forced to take a chemistry class, you will probably see, at the front of the classroom, a large chart divided into squares, with different numbers and letters in each of them. This chart is called the table of elements, and scientists like to say that it contains all the substances that make up our world. Like everyone else, scientists are wrong from time to time, and it is easy to see that they are wrong about the table of elements. Because although this table contains a great many elements, from the element oxygen, which is found in the air, to the element of aluminum, which is found in cans of soda, the table of elements does not contain one of the most powerful elements that make up our world, and that is the element of surprise. The element of surprise is not a gas like oxygen, or a solid, like aluminum. The element of surprise is an unfair advantage, and it can be found in situations in which one person has sneaked up on another. The surprised person - or, in this sad case, the surprised person - are too stunned to defend themselves and the sneaky person has the advantage of the element of surprise. ** Lemony Snicket ===''[[w:The Vile Village|The Vile Village]]'' (2001)=== * For Beatrice--When we were together I felt breathless. Now, you are.-Lemony Snicket * Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of ‘systematically assisting Sisyphus’s stealthy, Syst-susceptible sister,’ which is easier done than said. - Lemony Snicket<br /> *No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don't read is often as important as what you do read. For instance, if you are walking in the mountains, and you don't read the sign that says "Beware of Cliff" because you were busy reading a joke book instead, you may suddenly find yourself walking on air rather than on a sturdy bed of rocks. If you are baking a pie for your friends, and you read an article entitled "How to Build a Chair" instead of a cookbook, your pie will probably end up tasting like wood and nails instead of like crust and fruity filling. And if you insist on reading this book instead of something more cheerful, you will most certainly find yourself moaning in despair instead of wriggling with delight, so if you have any sense at all you will put this book down and pick up another one. I know of a book, for instance, called The Littlest Elf, which tells the story of a teensy-weensy little man who scurries around fairyland having all sorts of adorable adventures, and you can see at once that you should probably read The Littlest Elf and wriggle over the lovely things that happened to this imaginary creature in a made-up place, instead of reading this book and moaning over the terrible things that have happened to the three Baudelaire orphans. - Lemony Snicket<br /> *A newspaper, as I'm sure you know, is a collection of supposedly true stories written down by writers who either saw them happen or talked to people who did. These writers are called journalists, and like telephone operators, butchers, ballerinas, and people who clean up after horses, journalists can sometimes make mistakes. - Lemony Snicket *When you traveling by bus, it is always difficult to decide whether you should sit in a seat by the window, a seat on the aisle, or a seat in the middle. If you take an aisle seat, you have the advantage of being able to stretch your legs whenever you like, but you have the disadvantage of people walking by you, and they can accidentally step on your toes or spill something on your clothing. If you take a window seat, you have the advantage of getting a clear view of the scenery, but you have the disadvantage of watching insects die as they hit the glass. If you take the middle seat, you have neither of these advantages, and you have the added disadvantage of people leaning all over you when they fall asleep. You can see at once why you should always hire a limousine or rent a mule rather than take the bus to your destination. - Lemony Snicket<br /> *Although "jumping to conclusions" is an expression, rather than an activity, it is as dangerous as jumping off a cliff, jumping in front of a moving train, and jumping for joy. If you jump off a cliff, you have a very good chance of experiencing a painful landing unless there is something below you to cushion your fall, such as a body of water or an immense pile of tissue paper. If you jump in front of a moving train, you have a very good chance of experiencing a painful voyage unless you are wearing some sort of train-proof suit. And if you jump for joy, you have a very good chance of experiencing a painful bump on the head, unless you make sure you are standing someplace with very high ceilings, which joyous people rarely do. Clearly, the solution to anything involving jumping is either to make sure you are jumping to a safe place, or not to jump at all. - Lemony Snicket<br /> *In this large and fierce world of ours, there are many, many unpleasant places to be. You can be in a river swarming with angry electric eels, or in a supermarket filled with vicious long-distance runners. You can be in a hotel that has no room service, or you can be lost in a forest that is slowly filling up with water. You can be in a hornet's nest or in an abandoned airport or the office of a pediatric surgeon, but one of the most unpleasant things that can happen is to find yourself in a quandary. - Lemony Snicket<br /> *Entertaining a notion, like entertaining a baby cousin or entertaining a pack of hyenas, is a dangerous thing to refuse to do. If you refuse to entertain a baby cousin, the baby cousin may get bored and entertain itself by wandering off and falling down a well. If you refuse to entertain a pack of hyenas, they may become restless and entertain themselves by devouring you. But if you refuse to entertain a notion--which is just a fancy way of saying that you refuse to think about a certain idea--you have to be much braver than someone who is merely facing some bloodthirsty animals, or some parents who are upset and find their little darling at the bottom of a well, because nobody knows what an idea will do when it goes off to entertain itself, particularly if the idea comes from a sinister villain. - Lemony Snicket<br /> *A cloud of dust is not a beautiful thing to look at. Very few painters have done portraits of huge clouds of dust or included them in their landscapes or still life. Film directors rarely choose huge clouds of dust to play the lead roles in romantic comedies, and as far as my research has shown, a huge cloud of dust has never placed higher than twenty-fifth in a beauty pageant. - Lemony Snicket<br /> === ''[[w:The Hostile Hospital|The Hostile Hospital]]'' (2001)=== *For Beatrice--Summers without you are as cold as winter. Winters without you are even colder.-Lemony Snicket *If you are like most people, you have an assortment of friends and family you can call upon in times of trouble. For instance, if you woke up in the middle of the night and saw a masked woman trying to crawl through your bedroom window, you might call your mother or father to help you push her back out. If you found yourself hopelessly lost in the middle of a strange city, you might ask the police to give you a ride home. And if you were an author locked in an Italian restaurant that was slowly filling up with water, you might call upon your acquaintances in the locksmith, pasta, and sponge businesses to come and rescue you. **Lemony Snicket *Of all the ridiculous expressions people use--and people use a great many ridiculous expressions--one of the most ridiculous is "No news is good news." "No news is good news" simply means that if you don't hear from someone, everything is probably fine, and you can see at once why this expression makes such little sense because everything being fine is only one of many, many reasons why someone may not contact you. Perhaps they are tied up. Maybe they are surrounded by fierce weasels, or perhaps they are wedged tightly between two refrigerators and cannot get themselves out. The expression might as well be changed to "no news is bad news," except that people may not be able to contact you because they have just been crowned king or are competing in a gymnastics tournament. The point is that there is no way to know why someone has not contacted you until they contact you and explain themselves. For this reason, the sensible expression would be "no news is no news," except that it is so obvious that it is hardly an expression at all. ** Lemony Snicket<br /> *At this point in the dreadful story I am writing, I must interrupt for a moment and describe something that happened to a good friend of mine named Mr. Sirin. Mr. Sirin was a lepidopterist, a word which usually means "a person who studies butterflies." In this case, however, the word "lepidopterist" means "a man who was being pursued by angry government officials," and on the night I am telling you about they were right on his heels. Mr. Sirin looked back to see how close they were--four officers in their bright-pink uniforms, with small flashlights in their left hands and large nets in their right--and realized that in a moment they would catch up, and arrest him and his six favorite butterflies, which were frantically flapping alongside him. Mr. Sirin did not care much if he was captured--he had been in prison four and a half times over the course of his long and complicated life--but he cared very much about the butterflies. He realized that these six delicate insects would undoubtedly perish in bug prison, where poisonous spiders, stinging bees, and other criminals would rip them to shreds. So, as the secret police closed in, Mr. Sirin opened his mouth as wide as he could and swallowed all six butterflies whole, quickly placing them in the dark but safe confines of his empty stomach. It was not a pleasant feeling to have these six insects living inside him, but Mr. Sirin kept them there for three years, eating only the lightest foods served in prison so as not to crush the insects with a clump of broccoli or a baked potato. When his prison sentence was over, Mr. Sirin burped up the grateful butterflies and resumed his lepidoptery work in a community that was much more friendly to scientists and their specimens. **Lemony Snicket *Like all fairy tales, the story of Sleeping Beauty begins with "Once upon a time," and continues with a foolish young princess who makes a witch very angry, and then takes a nap until her boyfriend wakes her up with a kiss and insists on getting married, at which point the story ends with the phrase "happily ever after." **Lemony Snicket *There are many things in this world I do not know. I do not know how butterflies get out of their cocoons without damaging their wings. I do not know why anyone would boil vegetables when roasting them is much tastier. I do not know how to make olive oil, and I do not know why dogs bark before an earthquake, and I do not know why some people voluntarily choose to climb mountains where it is freezing and difficult to breathe or live in the suburbs, where the coffee is watery and all of the houses look alike. ** Lemony Snicket *Because of the information discussed on page nine, experts now suspect that there may in fact be one survivor of the fire, but the survivor's whereabouts are unknown. ** The Snicket File, page 13 ===''[[w:Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography|Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography]]'' (2002)=== *As the official representative of Lemony Snicket in all legal, literary, and social matters, I am often asked difficult questions, even when I am in a hurry. Recently, the most common questions have been the following: 1. Will you please get out of my way? 2. Where did ''Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography'' come from? The replies to both of these questions are very long stories, so there is only room to answer one of them. — Daniel Handler * Dear Diary, **Lemony Snicket * I didn't realize this was a sad occasion. — The waiter at The Anxious Clown Restaurant *Why do so many things end in fire? **Lemony Snicket *What can be hidden in a book? **Lemony Snicket *On the day you officially join the organization, you will hear a noise outside your home. It may sound like the howl of a wolf, the chirping of a cricket, the engine of an automobile, the keys of a typewriter, the striking of a match, or the turning of a page. The noise will come in the middle of the night, the middle of the morning, or, in very rare cases, late in the afternoon. Ask your parents what the noise was. If they reply 'nothing,' they are replying in code, because there is never 'nothing' outside one's home. If you are interested in volunteering, answer your parents with the following question: 'If there's nothing out there, what was that noise?' We will be listening and will know it is safe to act. — V.F.D. *As the aphorism says, If you have to ask, you can't afford it. ** Veritable French Diner ===''[[w:The Carnivorous Carnival|The Carnivorous Carnival]]'' (2002)=== *For Beatrice— Our love broke my heart, and stopped yours. **Lemony Snicket *The sad truth is that the truth is sad. **Lemony Snicket *It's hard for decent people to stay angry at someone who has burst into tears, which is why it is often a good idea to burst into tears if a decent person is yelling at you. ** Lemony Snicket *One of the most troublesome things in life is that what you do or do not want has very little to do with what does or does not happen. ** Lemony Snicket *Miracles are like meatballs because nobody knows what they are made of, where they came from, or how often they should appear. **Lemony Snicket *Besides getting several paper cuts in the same day or receiving the news that someone in your family has betrayed you to your enemies, one of the most unpleasant experiences in life is a job interview. It is very nerve-wracking to explain to someone all the things you can do in the hopes that they will pay you to do them. I once had a very difficult job interview in which I had not only to explain that I could hit an olive with a bow and arrow, memorize up to three pages of poetry, and determine if there was poison mixed into cheese fondue without tasting it, but I had to demonstrate all these things as well. In most cases, the best strategy for a job interview is to be fairly honest, because the worst thing that can happen is that you won't get the job and will spend the rest of your life foraging for food in the wilderness and seeking shelter underneath a tree or the awning of a bowling alley that has gone out of business, but in the case of the Baudelaire orphans' job interview with Madame Lulu, the situation was much more desperate. They could not be honest at all, because they were disguised as entirely different people, and the worst thing that could happen was being discovered by Count Olaf and his troupe and spending the rest of their lives in circumstances so terrible that the children could not bear to think of them. **Lemony Snicket *The story of the Baudelaires does not take place in a fictional land where lollipops grow on trees and singing mice do all of the chores. The story of the Baudelaires takes place in a very real world, where some people are laughed at just because they have something wrong with them, and where children can find themselves all alone in the world, struggling to understand the sinister mystery that surrounds them... **Lemony Snicket *With the Baudelaire orphans, it was as if their grief were a very heavy object that they each took turns carrying so that they would not all be crying at once, but sometimes the object was too heavy for one of them to move without weeping, so Violet and Sunny stood next to Klaus, reminding him that this was something they could all carry together until at last, they found a safe place to lay it down. **Lemony Snicket *The world is a harum-scarum place." <br> "Harum?" Sunny asked. <br> It's complicated and confusing," Olivia explained. They say that long ago it was simple and quiet, but that might be a legend. ===''[[The Slippery Slope|The Slippery Slope]]'' (2003)=== :For Beatrice— :When we first met, you were pretty, and I was lonely. :Now, I am pretty lonely. *Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like. *Having an aura of menace is like having a pet weasel, because you rarely meet someone who has one, and when you do it makes you want to hide under the coffee table. *Dear Reader, *Like handshakes, house pets, or raw carrots, many things are preferable when not slippery. Unfortunately, in this miserable volume, I am afraid that Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire run into more than their fair share of slipperiness during their harrowing journey up -- and down -- a range of strange and distressing mountains. *In order to spare you any further repulsion, it would be best not to mention any of the unpleasant details of this story, particularly a secret message, a toboggan, a deceitful trap, a swarm of snow gnats, a scheming villain, a troupe of organized youngsters, a covered casserole dish, and a surprising survivor of a terrible fire. *Unfortunately, I have dedicated my life to researching and recording the sad tale of the Baudelaire Orphans. There is no reason for you to dedicate yourself to such things, and you might instead dedicate yourself to letting this slippery book slip from your hands into a nearby trash receptacle, or deep pit. *With all due respect, *Lemony Snicket ===''[[w:The Grim Grotto|The Grim Grotto]]'' (2004)=== :For Beatrice— :Dead women tell no tales. :Sad men write them down. *After a great deal of time examining oceans, investigating rainstorms, and staring very hard at several drinking fountains, the scientists of the world developed a theory regarding how water is distributed around our planet, which they have named "the water cycle." The water cycle consists of three key phenomena— evaporation, precipitation, and collection—and all of them are equally boring. Of course, it is boring to read about boring things, but it is better to read something that makes you yawn with boredom than something that will make you weep uncontrollably, pound your fists against the floor, and leave tearstains all over your pillowcase, sheets, and boomerang collection. Like the water cycle, the tale of the Baudelaire children consists of three key phe-nomena, but rather than read their sorry tale it would be best if you read something about the water cycle instead. - Lemony Snicket *Evaporation, the first of these phenomena, is the process of water turning into vapor and eventually forming clouds, such as those found in cloudy skies, or on cloudy days, or even cloudy nights. These clouds are formed by a phenomenon known as "evaporation," which is the first of three phenomena that make up the water cycle. Evapo-ration, the first of these three, is simply a term for a process by which water turns into vapor and eventually forms clouds. Clouds can be recognized by their appearance, usually on cloudy days or nights, when they can be seen in cloudy skies. The name for the process by which clouds are formed—by water, which turns into vapor and becomes part of the formation known as "clouds"—is "evaporation," the first phenomenon in the three phenomena that make up the cycle of water, otherwise known as "the water cycle," and surely you must be asleep by now and so can be spared the horrifying details of the Baudelaires' journey. - Lemony Snicket *The second of these phenomena-precipitation—is the process by which vapor turns into water and falls as rain, something you might notice during a rainfall or by going outdoors on a rainy morn-ing, afternoon, evening, or night. This falling water you notice is known as "rain," which is the result of the phenomenon of precipitation, one of the three phenomena that comprise the water cycle. Of these three phenomena, precipitation is regarded as the second one, particularly if a list of the three phenomena places precipitation in the middle, or second, spot on the list. "Pre-cipitation" is quite simply a term for the transformation of vapor into water, which then falls as rain—something you might encounter if you were to step outside during a rainstorm. Rain consists of water, which was formerly vapor but underwent the process known as "precipita-tion," one of the three phenomena in the water cycle, and by now this tedious description must have put you back to sleep, so you may avoid the gruesome details of my account of Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire as they made their way through the Gorgonian Grotto back to the Queequeg. *The water cycle consists of three phenomena— evaporation, precipitation, and collection—and collection, the third of these phenomena, is the third of the phenomena that make up what is generally known as "the water cycle." This phenomenon, known as "collection," is the process of the gathering of water in the oceans, lakes, rivers, ponds, reservoirs, and puddles of the world, so that it will eventually go through the phenomena of evaporation and precipita-tion, thus beginning the water cycle all over again. It is a tedious thing for a reader to find in a book, of course, and I hope that my descriptions of the water cycle have bored you enough that you have put this book down long ago, and will not read Chapter Thirteen of The Grim Grotto any more than the Baudelaire orphans will ever read Chapter Thirty-Nine of Mushroom Minutiae, no matter how crucial such a chapter might be. But however tedious the water cycle is to readers, it must be very tedious indeed to the drops of water who must participate in the cycle over and over again. Occasionally, when I pause while writing my chronicle of the Baudelaire orphans, and my eyes and back turn upward from my desk to look out at the evening sky-the purple color of which explains the expression "the violet hour" —I imagine myself as a drop of water, especially if it is raining, or if my desk is floating in a reservoir. - Lemony Snicket *Violet said..."We've never known anyone who could remain so cheerful, no matter what terrible things occurred. *To tell you the truth, I sometimes find it a bit tiresome," Fiona said... *My stepfather said that the amount of treachery in this world is enormous and that the best we could do was one small noble thing. **Fiona *Why, you're all grown up! The last time I saw you I was trying to throw thumbtacks into your cradle! **Count Olaf * People aren't either wicked or noble," the hook-handed man said. They're like chef's salad, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict. *As the hook-handed man circled the brig, it was as if the Baudelaires were picking through a chef's salad consisting mostly of dreadful- and perhaps even poisonous- ingredients, trying desperately to find the one noble crouton that might save their sister... **Lemony Snicket *'''Lemony Snicket:''' (narrating) When you are invited to dine, particularly with people you do not know very well, it always helps to have a conversational opener, a phrase which here means "an interesting sentence to say out loud in order to get people talking." Although lately, it has become more and more difficult to attend dinner parties without the evening ending in gunfire or tapioca, I keep a list of good and bad conversational openers in my commonplace book in order to avoid awkward pauses at the dinner table. "Who would like to see an assortment of photographs taken while I was on vacation?" for instance, is a very poor conversational opener because it is likely to make your fellow diners shudder instead of talk, whereas good conversational openers are sentences such as "What would drive a man to commit arson?," "Why do so many stories of true love end in tragedy and despair?," and "Madam DeLustrio, I believe I've discovered your true identity!" all of which are likely to provoke discussions, arguments, and accusations, thus making the dinner party much more entertaining. *'''Lemony Snicket:''' (narrating) Reading poetry, even if you are only reading to find a secret message within its words, can often give one a feeling of power, the way you can feel powerful if you are the only one who brought an umbrella on a rainy day or the only one who knows how to untie knots when you're taken hostage. *I'm happier than a pig eating bacon!" Count Olaf cried. "I'm tickled pinker than a sun-burned Caucasian! I'm in higher spirits than a brand-new graveyard! I'm so happy-go-lucky that lucky and happy people are going to beat me with sticks out of pure, unbridled jealousy! *There is evil out there you cannot even imagine. -Captain Widdershins * C is for Cute<br>A is for Adorable<br>R is for Ravishing<br>M is for Gorgeous<br>E is for Excellent<br>L is for Lovable<br>I is for I'm the best!<br>T is for Talented<br>A is for "A tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian! ''NOW LET'S START MY WHOLE WONDERFUL SONG ALL OVER AGAIN!'' *Carmelita Spats, who oughtta be told "Gorgeous" does not start with an M. *I can't stand the lyrics. **Klaus ===''[[w:The Penultimate Peril|The Penultimate Peril]]'' (2005)=== *For Beatrice— No one could extinguish my love, or your house. ** Lemony Snicket *Richard Wright, an American novelist of the realist school, asks a famous unfathomable question in his best-known novel, ''Native Son''. Who knows when some slight shock, he asks, disturbing the delicate balance between social order and thirsty aspiration, shall send the skyscrapers in our cities toppling? **Lemony Snicket (351-352) *"Whenever you see someone in a taxi, they are probably being driven to do some errand. Surely there must be something you need to do, or somewhere you need to go. A great American novelist wrote that people travel faster now, but she wasn't sure if they do better things. Maybe you would do better things if you traveled at this very moment." - Man in taxi (possibly Lemony Snicket) * '''Lemony Snicket:''' (narrating) But the three siblings were not born yesterday. Violet was born more than fifteen years before this particular Wednesday, and Klaus was born approximately two years after that, and even Sunny, who had just passed out of babyhood, was not born yesterday. Neither were you, unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life. *The name John Godfrey Saxe is not likely to mean anything to you, unless you are a fan of American humorist poets of the nineteenth century. There are not many such people in the world, but the Baudelaires' father was one of them, and had several poems committed to memory. From time to time he would get into a whimsical mood-the word "whimsical," as you probably know, means "odd and impulsive"-and would grab the nearest Baudelaire child, bounce him or her up and down on his lap, and recite a poem by John Godfrey Saxe about an elephant. In the poem, six blind men encountered an elephant for the first time and were unable to agree on what the animal was like. The first man felt the tall, smooth side of the elephant, and concluded that an elephant was like a wall. The second man felt the tusk of the elephant, and decided that an elephant resembled a spear. The third man felt the trunk of the elephant, and the fourth felt one of the elephant's legs, and so on and so on, with all of the blind men bickering over what an elephant is like. As with many children, Violet and Klaus had grown old enough to find their father's whimsical moods a little embarrassing, so Sunny had become the primary audience for Mr. Baudelaire's poetry recital, and remembered the poem best. *"Burn down hotel!" Sunny said. *Never mind what you were doing, Olaf said. You're fired!<br>You can't fire me! Esme growled. I quit!<br>Well, you can leave by mutual agreement, Olaf grumbled and then with another succinct Ha! he lifted the harpoon gun and pointed it at Dewey Denouement. *By "Preludio," her siblings knew, Sunny was referring to the Hotel Preludio, and the weekend vacation the entire Baudelaire family had spent there. As Kit Snicket had mentioned, the Hotel Preludio was a lovely place, and I am happy to report that it is still standing, like a small mercy, and that its ballroom still has its famous chandeliers, which are shaped like enormous jellyfish and move up and down in time to the music that the orchestra plays, and that the bookstore in the lobby still specializes in the work of American novelists of the realist school, and the outdoor swimming pool is still as beautiful as it ever was, its reflection of the hotel windows shimmering whenever anyone dives in to swim laps. But the Baudelaire orphans were not remembering the chandeliers, or the bookstore, or even the swimming pool, where Sunny first learned to blow bubbles. They were remembering a prank their father had taught them, when he was in one of his whimsical moods, that can be played in any elevator. The prank, a word which here means "joke played on someone with whom you are sharing an elevator," is best played at the moment when you are about to get off the elevator, and your fellow passengers are heading to a higher story. The Baudelaires' mother had objected to their father teaching them such a prank, as she said it was undignified, but their father had pointed out it was no more undignified than doing magic tricks with dinner rolls, which their mother had done that very morning in the hotel restaurant, and she reluctantly agreed to participate in the prank. This particular moment in the Baudelaires' lives, of course, was not the best one for a prank, but Violet and Klaus saw immediately what their sister had in mind, and when the sliding doors opened and Count Olaf stomped inside the elevator, the three Baudelaires followed him and immediately pressed every single button. When the Baudelaires' father had done this after exiting the elevator, it meant that the remaining passenger, a tiresome woman named Eleanora. had been forced to visit every story on the way up to her room, but here in the Hotel Denouement, the prank served a dual purpose, a phrase which here means "enabled the Baudelaires to do two things at once." *I'll have ten grams of rice, Mrs. Bass interrupted, one tenth of a hectogram of shrimp vindaloo, a dekagram of chana aloo masala, one thousand centigrams of tandori salmon, four samosas with surface area of nineteen cubic centimeters, five deciliters of mango lassi, and a sada rava dosai that's exactly nineteen centimeters long. **page 134. *'''Violet:''' "Fire! Attention everyone! There's a fire in the hotel! Please leave at once!" :'''The man with a beard but no hair:''' "Fire? Good work, Olaf!" :'''Jerome Squalor:''' What do you mean, good work?" :'''The man with a beard but no hair:''' "I meant to say, 'there's Olaf!'"''[pushs Jerome in the direction of the elevator]'' "Capture him! He needs to be brought to the authorities!" :'''Frank (probably):''' "Olaf is here? I'm going to capture him!" :'''Ernest (probably):''' "Where are the Baudelaires? I'm going to capture them!" :'''The woman with hair but no beard:''' "In the elevator!" :'''Violet:''' "Call the fire department!" . :'''Either Frank or Ernest:''' "Which one?" :'''Count Olaf:''' "Those judges promised that if I waited until tomorrow I'd see all my enemies destroyed, and now they're trying to capture me. I knew they'd fail me some day." :''[the elevator stops on another floor]'' :'''Klaus:''' "There's a fire in the hotel! Everyone leave at once!" :'''Esmé Squalor:''' "A fire? Who said that?" :'''Klaus:''' "It's Klaus Baudelaire. You need to get out of the hotel!" :'''Carmelita Spats:''' "Don't listen to that cakesniffer! He's just trying to escape from us! Let's take off our blindfolds and peek!" :'''Count Olaf:''' "Don't take off your blindfolds! Those Baudelaires are guilty of contempt of court, and they're trying to trick you into joining them! There's no fire! Whatever you do, don't leave the hotel!" :'''Klaus:''' "We're not tricking you! Olaf is tricking you! Please believe us!" :'''Esmé:''' "I don't know who to believe, you orphans are as dishonest as my ex-boyfriend." :'''Carmelita:''' "Leave us alone! We can find our own way!" :''[the elevator stops on another floor]'' :'''Sunny:''' “Fire! Use stairs. Do not use elevator!" :'''Mr. Poe:''' "Sunny Baudelaire? Don't add the false reporting of fire to your list of crimes! You're already guilty of contempt of court, and perhaps murder!" :'''Justice Strauss:''' "It's not false! There really is a fire, Mr. Poe! Leave this hotel!" :'''Mr. Poe:''' "I can't leave [coughs], I'm still in charge of the Baudelaires' affairs and their parents' fort-" :The elevator doors closed before Mr. Poe could finish his word, and the Baudelaires were taken away from the banker one last time, and with each stop of the elevator, I'm sorry to say, it was more or less the same. The Baudelaires saw Mrs. Bass on the third story, still wearing her small blond wig like a snowcap on the top of a mountain peak, and her blindfold, stretched over her small, narrow mask, and they saw Mr. Remora, who was wandering around the seventh story with Vice Principal Nero. They saw Geraldine Julienne, who was using her microphone the way some blind people use a cane, and they saw Charles and Sir, who were holding hands so as not to lose one another, and they saw Hugo and Colette and Kevin, who were holding the birdpaper Klaus had hung outside the window of the sauna, and they saw Mr. Lesko arguing with Mrs. Morrow, and they saw a man with a guitar making friends with a woman in a crow-shaped hat, and they saw many people they did not recognize, either as volunteers or as villains, who were wandering the hallways of the hotel to capture anyone they might find suspicious. Some of these people believed the Baudelaires when they told them the news of the fire, and some of these people believed Count Olaf when he told them that the Baudelaires were lying, and some of these people believed Justice Strauss when she told them that Count Olaf was lying when he said the Baudelaires were lying when they told them the news of the fire. But the elevator's stop on each story of the hotel was very brief, and the children had only a glimpse of each of these people. They heard Mrs. Bass mutter something about a getaway car, and they heard Mr. Remora wonder something about fried bananas. They heard Nero worry about his violin case, and Geraldine squeal about headlines, and they heard Charles and Sir bicker over whether or not fires were good for the lumber industry. They heard Hugo ask if the plan for the hors d'ouvres was still in operation, and they heard Colette ask about plucking the feathers off crows, and they heard Kevin complain that he didn't know whether to hold the birdpaper in his right hand or his left hand, and they heard Mr. Lesko insult Mrs. Morrow, and the bearded man sing a song to the woman with the crow-shaped hat, and they heard a man call for Bruce and a woman call for her mother and dozens of people whisper to and shout at, argue with and agree upon, angrily accuse and meekly defend, furiously compliment and kindly insult dozens of other people, both inside and outside the Hotel Denouement, whose names the Baudelaires recognized, forgot, and had never heard before. Each story had its story, and each story's story was unfathomable in the Baudelaire orphans' short journey, and many of the stories' stories are unfathomable to me, even after all these lonely years and all this lonely research. Perhaps some of these stories are clearer to you, because you have spied upon the people involved. Perhaps Mrs. Bass has changed her name and lives near you, or perhaps Mr. Remora's name is the same, and he lives far away. Perhaps Nero now works as a grocery store clerk, or Geraldine Julienne now teaches arts and crafts. Perhaps Charles and Sir are no longer partners, and you have had the occasion to study one of them as he sat across from you on a bus, or perhaps Hugo, Colette, and Kevin are still comrades, and you have followed these unfathomable people after noticing that one of them used both hands equally. Perhaps Mr. Lesko is now your neighbor, or Mrs. Morrow is now your sister, or your mother, or your aunt or wife or even your husband. Perhaps the noise you hear outside your door is a bearded man trying to climb into your window, or perhaps it is a woman in a crow-shaped hat hailing a taxi. Perhaps you have spotted the managers of the Hotel Denouement, or the judges of the High Court, or the waiters of Cafe Salmonella or the Anxious Clown, or perhaps you have met an expert on injustice or become one yourself. Perhaps the people in your unfathomable life, and their unfathomable stories, are clear to you as you make your way in the world, but when the elevator stopped for the last time, and the doors slid open to reveal the tilted roof of the Hotel Denouement, the Baudelaires felt as if they were balancing very delicately on a mysterious and perplexing heap of unfathomable mysteries. They did not know who would survive the fire they had helped set, and who would perish. They did not know who thought they were volunteers and who thought they were villains, or who believed they were innocent and who believed they were guilty. And they did not know if their own observations, errands, and deeds meant that they were noble, or wicked, or somewhere in between. *The last safe place is safe no more. ** Sunny ===''[[w:The End (novel)|The End]]'' (2006)=== *For Beatrice — I cherished, you perished, The world's been nightmarished **Lemony Snicket *"I won't force you." - Ishmael *If you have read this far in the chronicle of the Baudelaire orphans—and I certainly hope you have not—then you know we have reached the thirteenth chapter of the thirteenth volume in this sad history, and so you know the end is near, even though this chapter is so lengthy that you might never reach the end of it. But perhaps you do not yet know what the end really means. "The end" is a phrase which refers to the completion of a story, or the final moment of some accomplishment, such as a secret errand, or a great deal of research, and indeed this thirteenth volume marks the completion of my investigation into the Baudelaire case, which required much research, a great many secret errands, and the accomplishments of a number of my comrades, from a trolley driver to a botanical hybridization expert, with many, many typewriter repair people in between. But it cannot be said that The End contains the end of the Baudelaires' story, any more than The Bad Beginning contained its beginning. The children's story began long before that terrible day on Briny Beach, but there would have to be another volume to chronicle when the Baudelaires were born, and when their parents married, and who was playing the violin in the candlelit restaurant when the Baudelaire parents first laid eyes on one another, and what was hidden inside that violin, and the childhood of the man who orphaned the girl who put it there, and even then it could not be said that the Baudelaires' story had not begun, because you would still need to know about a certain tea party held in a penthouse suite, and the baker who made the scones served at the tea party, and the baker's assistant who smuggled the secret ingredient into the scone batter through a very narrow drainpipe, and how a crafty volunteer created the illusion of a fire in the kitchen simply by wearing a certain dress and jumping around, and even then the beginning of the story would be as far away as the shipwreck that left the Baudelaire parents as castaways on the coastal shelf is far away from the outrigger on which the islanders would depart. One could say, in fact, that no story really has a beginning, and that no story really has an end, as all of the world's stories are as jumbled as the items in the arboretum, with their details and secrets all heaped together so that the whole story, from beginning to end, depends on how you look at it. We might even say that the world is always in medias res— a Latin phrase which means "in the midst of things" or "in the middle of a narrative"—and that it is impossible to solve any mystery, or find the root of any trouble, and so The End is really the middle of the story, as many people in this history will live long past the close of Chapter Thirteen, or even the beginning of the story, as a new child arrives in the world at the chapter's close. But one cannot sit in the midst of things forever. Eventually one must face that the end is near, and the end of The End is quite near indeed, so if I were you I would not read the end of The End, as it contains the end of a notorious villain but also the end of a brave and noble sibling, and the end of the colonists' stay on the island, as they sail off the end of the coastal shelf. The end of The End contains all these ends, and that does not depend on how you look at it, so it might be best for you to stop looking at The End before the end of The End arrives, and to stop reading The End before you read the end, as the stories that end in The End that began in The Bad Beginning are beginning to end now. ===''[[w:The Beatrice Letters|The Beatrice Letters]]'' (2006)=== * I will love you no matter how many mistakes I make when trying to reduce fractions, and no matter how difficult it is to memorize the periodic table. * I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. * I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms. *I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see. === ''[[w:Adverbs (novel)|Adverbs]]'' (2006) === ==== ''Immediately'' ==== * Love was in the air so both of us walked through love on our way to the corner. * The world gets grimy and the love object is in stark relief from its surroundings. This is love, a pretty thing on an ugly street and why wouldn't you pick it up if it appeared in a taxi cab. * I'm frightened by your behaviour. I woke up this morning and you said good morning and i said good morning, what do you feel like doing today, and you said well i sort of have to do this thing, and i said what thing and you said go to the reading of my father's will, and I said what are you talking about and then you told me that your dad had died. THIS MORNING. ==== ''Obviously'' ==== * If i were a little braver i would have asked her something like, "Do you think Kickass: the movie is a comedy in the traditional, classical sense?" and we could have that conversation and it would lead to other conversations during the flat and lonely times. * Standing ten feet away from Lila was sort of kickass with her nails drumming on the box with the slot in, where we put everything that we rip in half, and with her blue-eyed beauty and with the gum she was chewing and how lovely she was, in that way that makes you want to find something else lovely just so you can give it to her and see how really kickass it is to have to lovely things next to each other. * Keith has one of those all terrain things that will come in so handy when the world ends and we need a nine-thousand -cylinder engine to drive over those hordes of blood-thirsty mutants crawling all over the video-game landscape. * This world is suchier than we are, and the best thing to do is keep moving and find your keys. ==== ''Arguably'' ==== * Money money money money money money money money money. Let no one say it has no place in a love story. It has a particular place. It is something on the right shelf. * This is love, moving to where the money is, and all the while a volcano or an ex-girlfriend might blow the whole thing to hell, as the Americans say. As everybody says. ==== ''Particularly'' ==== * … the point is, why is there cruelty? Why do people ask other people to do impossible things? why behave this way? why is there mean, when there are better things than mean, love particularly? * "I love you, too" David said and took the bottle.<br>"I want you to love me in particular," Helena said ==== ''Soundly'' ==== * It's always dawnest before dark * I'm full of hard times today * The right boys I always toss and the wrong ones I keep on top of me like paperweights. ==== ''Frigidly'' ==== * What a bad day it was, the clouds were low and cloudy, the rain no fun, and the dark as it hit the late afternoon thick like someone who stops by your place and just won't leave. The day was canceled, almost, on account of the rain spilling itself over everything. * This was that day if you know what I mean. * It was a bad day for love. * The rain, the rain, the rain. You can't even hear it outside the window but still it's a sad thing. Rain, the grade school teachers say, makes the trees and flowers grow, but we're not trees and flower, and so many grade school teachers are single. * She said, "We're detectives" in the tone of voice that someone might say, "Making you happy isn't making me happy" * They could not love anymore, they thought, just drink and pour coffee and track people down in the rain. They were living frigidly, as if in a cone of frost. * All love gets over, and we must get over it. ==== ''Collectively'' ==== * Love can smack you like a seagull, and pour all over your feet like junkmail. You can't be ready for such a thing any more than salt water taffy gets you ready for the ocean. * Mike could see the fellow cooked and ate and sat on a sofa and put his feet up on the table it magazines. Mike didn't care which ones the fellow subscribed to, because Mike had subscribed to the fellow. * This is love, and the trouble with it: it can make you embarrassed. Love is really liking someone a whole lot and not wanting to screw that up. Everybody's chewed over this. This unites us, this part of love. * I find you interesting, Joe, so nearly everything you say will be interesting too. I love you. I could say I'm lonely but that's not the only reason. * "I'm not - the terrific guy you keep telling me about. I'm not made of sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm made of rats and snails and puppy-dogs tails. I lie sometimes. I have broken people's hearts. I'm looking for love, I'll admit that, but now that it's here in abundance, I'm afraid of commitment and I want you, please, to leave me." ==== ''Symbolically'' ==== * [she] gave me a puzzled frown like she thought offhand i was dead but the media's so unreliable these days. * That's always where the love goes, with somebody else away from me. ==== ''Clearly'' ==== * All four of them have completely abandoned one another. * Adam hates Tomas and tried to get Eddie to join him in hate. It hasn't worked, although Eddie will admit certain shortcomings, and the two men have not met until now, in the forest, when Adam has decided that Tomas in Eddie's stories and the Tomas in this story are the same man. ==== ''Naturally'' ==== * It was the sort of day when people walk in the park and solve problems. "We'll simply call the taxi company, David, and request a large one, like one of those vans." Is the sort of thing you would overhear if you were overhearing in the park. * ''Dear Joe'' The letter said ''The windows rattle without you, you bastard. The trees are the cause, rattling in the wind, you jerk, the wild scraping those leaves and twigs against my window. They'll keep on doing this, you terrible husband, and slowly wear away our entire apartment.'' ==== ''Wrongly'' ==== * "Yeah, I have a question," said the guy with the wicked eyes... "My question is, I quit. I'm going to quit." * What he'd just said was "Who cares?" and nobody wants to hear that. * South San Francisco The Industrial City is ugly as sin but somebody lives there: Allison, in fact. * He's been misled and he's been afraid. He's been hit in the head and left for dead. He's been abused and he's been accused and he's been refused a piece of bread. On and on he goes down this road getting pushed around and lost and around and given until sundown to get out of town, and yet this is basically a love song. He's had the shit kicked out of him, and guess what? It's love. * "When I was crazy." the radio explained, "I thought you were great." * Allison squinted at the strange, catastrophic sky, and took another step, another step, another step, because in the future - she could see it - this would not be happening. ==== ''Truly'' ==== * If you follow the diamond in my mother's ring from Africa to Germany to California to Arizona to Wisconsin, in the heel of a grandmother, in the beak of a magpie, in the gravel of the path, in someone else's novel, in the center of the earth where the volcanoes are from, you would forget the miracle, the reason diamonds end up in people's fingers in the first place. it is not the diamonds or the birds, the people or the potatoes, it is not any of the nouns. The miracle is the adverbs, the way things are done. It is the way love gets done despite every catastrophe. ==== ''Not Particularly'' ==== * "I know" Helena said and this is another example of why behave this way? Things just poured out of her mouth lately, like vomit, and sometimes it actually was. * They are all one, the mothers of us all, like the money you spent. Imagine the vanish of weight if the advice of your mother never existed. They tell us things, unless we have no mothers and either way things turn out such that nothing you've ever heard is ever any help. ==== ''Often'' ==== * "Instead of change, please give me gun so i can shoot you." She is soft-spoken but short and full of rage lately, like her whole life. * He bought a bird in its own cage, with a sheet over it so no one could see the bird and the bird couldn't see anyone, and the whole thing was a secret bird... Everything he said was tinged with the unreadability of someone who would bring a bird on cruise ship. * "Oh my god!" Hillary is standing in the doorway of the bathroom of the bathroom which on one had is surprising but there's the other hand, too. * "Help me," Allison says, but she is soft-spoken, and everyone she loves is so far away. ==== ''Barely'' ==== * Over the years they had developed a layer of sincerity over the irony over the sincerity. It was an irony sandwich, then, which tasted mostly like sincerity, like a cheap, bad sandwich. * Wedding after wedding after wedding and then yours - your wedding? Would that make you what they're now calling happy? * God, or somebody, what is it with terrible things? If you made this world why not a better one? ==== ''Judgmentally'' ==== * judgmentally, judgmentally, judgmentally I would believe in you and sword fight others who did not, any necessary sacrifice if you were in the mood for that. * They say love's like a bus, and if you wait long enough another one will come along, but not in this place where the buses are slow and most of the cute ones are gay. ===''[[The End (novel)|The End]]'' (2006)=== *If you have ever peeled an onion, then you know that the first thin, papery layer reveals another thin, papery layer, and that layer reveals another, and another, and before you know it you have hundreds of layers all over the kitchen table and thousands of tears in your eyes, sorry that you ever started peeling in the first place and wishing that you had left the onion alone to wither away on the shelf of the pantry while you went on with your life, even if that meant never again enjoying the complicated and overwhelming taste of this strange and bitter vegetable. <br><br>In this way, the story of the Baudelaire orphans is like an onion, and if you insist on reading each and every thin, papery layer in A Series of Unfortunate Events, your only reward will be 170 chapters of misery in your library and countless tears in your eyes. Even if you have read the first twelve volumes of the Baudelaires' story, it is not too late to stop peeling away the layers, and to put this book back on the shelf to wither away while you read something less complicated and overwhelming. The end of this unhappy chronicle is like its bad beginning, as each misfortune only reveals another, and another, and another, and only those with the stomach for this strange and bitter tale should venture any farther into the Baudelaire onion. I'm sorry to tell you this, but that is how the story goes. **Chapter 1 *''Olaf:'' Of course I'm trying to trick you! That's the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everyone runs around with their secrets and their schemes, trying to outwit everyone else. Ishmael outwitted me, and put me in this cage. But I know how to outwit him and all his islander friends. If you let me out, I can be king of Olaf-Land, and you three can be my new henchfolk. ''Klaus:'' We don't want to be your henchfolk, we just want to be safe. ''Olaf:'' Nowhere in the world is safe. **Chapter 7 *''Friday'': Baudelaires, please come with me.<br>''Olaf'': What about me?<br>''Friday'': Go away. *Of course, it is quite possible to be in the dark in the dark, but there are so many secrets in the world that it is likely that you are always in the dark about one thing or another, whether you are in the dark in the dark or in the dark not in the dark, although the sun can go down so quickly that you may be in the in the dark about being in the dark, only to look around and find yourself no longer in the dark about being in the dark, but in the dark in the dark nontheless, not only because of the dark, but because of the ballerinas in the dark, who are not in the dark about the dark, but also not in the dark about the locked cabinet, and you may be in the dark about the ballerinas digging up the locked cabinet in the dark, even though you are no longer in the dark about being in the dark, and so you are in fact in the dark about being in the dark, even though you are not in the dark about being in the dark, and so you may fall into the hole that the ballerinas have dug, which is dark, in the dark, and in the park. **Chapter 9 *Perhaps if we saw what was ahead of us, and glimpsed the crimes, follies, and misfortunes that would befall us later on, we would all stay in our mother's wombs, and there would be nobody in the world but a great number of very fat, very irritated women. *''Olaf'': I'm a genius! I've solved all of our problems! Look!<br>''Violet'': Renaming the boat doesn't solve any of our problems. *''Beatrice.'' **Chapter 14 * Halloween seems to last forever, until it is finally time to put on one's costume and demand candy from strangers. Dear Reader, You are presumably looking at the back of this book, or the end of THE END. The end of THE END is the best place to begin THE END, because if you read THE END from the beginning of the beginning of THE END to the end of the end of THE END, you will arrive at the end of your rope. == See also == * ''[[Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events]]'' == External links == {{wikipedia}} {{commons category}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Handler, Daniel}} [[Category:Novelists from the United States]] [[Category:Short story writers from the United States]] [[Category:Screenwriters from the United States]] [[Category:1970 births]] [[Category:Living people]] [[Category:People from San Francisco]] [[Category:Postmodern authors]] [[Category:Feminists]] [[Category:Humanists]] [[fa:دنیل هندلر]] g3m9adwkfy4wg6iewr8r7l7roxufz7o 3942094 3942093 2026-05-17T16:37:01Z ~2026-29562-80 3323577 /* The Grim Grotto (2004) */ 3942094 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Handlertheend.PNG|thumb|Daniel Handler in 2006]] '''[[w:Daniel Handler|Daniel Handler]]''' (born [[February 28]], [[1970]]) is an American author, screenwriter and accordionist. He is best known for his work under the pen name '''[[w:Lemony Snicket|Lemony Snicket]]'''. == Quotes == ===''[[w:The Bad Beginning|The Bad Beginning]]'' (1999) === *For Beatrice-- :Darling, dearest, dead. *It is useless to for me to describe to know how terrible Violet, Klaus and even Sunn felt in the time that followed. If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels, and if you haven't, you cannot possibly imagine it. *I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong. You can look at a painting for the first time for example, and not like it at all, but after looking at it a little longer you may find it very please. The first time you try Gorgonzola cheese you may find it too strong, but when you are older you may want to eat nothing but Gorgonzola cheese. Klaus, when Sunny was born, did not like her at all, but by the time she was six weeks old the two of them were as thick as thieves. Your initial opinion on just about anything may change over time. *It is very useful, when one is young, to learn the difference between "literally" and "figuratively." If something happens literally, it actually happens; if something happens figuratively, it feels like it is happening. If you are literally jumping for joy, for instance, it means you are leaping in the air because you are very happy. If you are figuratively jumping for joy, it means you are so happy that you could jump for joy, but are saving your energy for other matters. ===''[[w:The Reptile Room|The Reptile Room]]'' (1999) === *For Beatrice-- :My love for you shall live forever. :You, however, did not. *When you were very small, perhaps someone read to you the insipid story —the word "insipid" here means "not worth reading to someone" of the Boy Who Cried Wolf. A very dull boy, you may remember, cried "Wolf!" when there was no wolf, and the gullible villagers ran to rescue him only to find the whole thing was a joke. Then he cried "Wolf!" when it wasn't a joke, and the villagers didn't come running, and the boy was eaten and the story, thank goodness, was over. The story's moral, of course, ought to be "Never live somewhere where wolves are running around loose," but whoever read you the story probably told you that the moral was not to lie. This is an absurd moral, for you and I both know that sometimes not only is it good to lie, it is necessary to lie. For example, it was perfectly appropriate, after Violet left the Reptile Room, for Sunny to crawl over to the cage that held the Incredibly Deadly Viper, unlatch the cage, and begin screaming as loudly as she could even though nothing was really wrong. ===''[[w:The Wide Window|The Wide Window]]'' (2000) === :For Beatrice--I would much prefer it if you were alive and well. *Violet: You are being unbearable, with a U! :Klaus: And YOU are being stupid, with an S! :Sunny: Aget! (meaning "Please stop fighting!") *Oftentimes, when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too. But it never helps. -Lemony Snicket *There are few sights sadder than a ruined book. -Lemony Snicket *If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats. -Lemony Snicket *Stealing, of course, is a crime, and a very impolite thing to do. But like most impolite things, it is excusable under certain circumstances. Stealing is not excusable if, for instance, you are in a museum and you decide that a certain painting would look better in your house, and you simply grab the painting and take it there. But if you were very, very hungry, and you had no way of obtaining money, it might be excusable to grab the painting, take it to your house, and eat it. -Lemony Snicket *Aunt Josephine: "Oh, I could never sell this house. I'm terrified of realtors." *There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or, in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don't. For instance, the Baudelaire orphans have a fear of Count Olaf, which makes perfect sense, because he is an evil man who wants to destroy them. But if they were afraid of lemon meringue pie, this would be an irrational fear, because lemon meringue pie is delicious and would never hurt a soul. Being afraid of a monster under the bed is perfectly rational, because there may in fact be a monster under your bed at any time, ready to eat you all up, but fear of realtors is an irrational fear. Realtors, as I'm sure you know, are people who assist in the buying and selling of houses. Besides occasionally wearing an ugly yellow coat, the worst a realtor can do to you is show you a house that you find ugly, so it is completely irrational to be terrified of them. -Lemony Snicket *It may surprise you to learn that at this moment [looking at Captain Shan’s peg leg], Sunny resembled the famous Greek conqueror Alexander the Great. Alexander the Great lived more than two thousand years ago, and his last name was not actually "The Great." "The Great" was something that he forced people to call him, by bringing a bunch of soldiers into their land and proclaiming himself king. Besides invading other people's countries and forcing them to do whatever he said, Alexander the Great was famous for something called the Gordian Knot. The Gordian Knot was a fancy knot tied in a piece of rope by a king named Gordius. Gordius said that if Alexander could untie it, he could rule the whole kingdom. But Alexander, who was too busy conquering places to learn how to untie knots, simply drew his sword and cut the Gordian Knot in two. This was cheating, of course, but Alexander had too many soldiers for Gordius to argue, and soon everybody in Gordium had to bow down to You-Know-Who the Great. Ever since then, a difficult problem can be called a Gordian Knot, and if you solve the problem in a simple way- even if the way is rude-you are cutting the Gordian Knot. ===''[[w:The Miserable Mill|The Miserable Mill]]'' (2000)=== :To Beatrice--My love flew like a butterfly :Until death swooped down like a bat :As the poet Emma Montana McElroy said: :That's the end of that. *I’m sure you have heard it said that appearance does not matter so much and that it is what's on the inside that counts. This is, of course, utter nonsense, because if it were true then people who were good on the inside would never have to comb their hair or take a bath, and the whole world would smell even worse than it already does. -Lemony Snicket *As I'm sure you know, whenever there is a mirror around, it is almost impossible not to take a look at yourself. Even though we all know what we look like, we all like just to look at our reflections, if only to see how we're doing. -Lemony Snicket *The moral of 'The Three Bears,' for instance, is 'Never break into someone else's house." The moral of "Snow White" is "Never eat apples." The moral of World War One is "Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand". -Lemony Snicket *Dear Reader, *I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to read this book because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If this is the case, I advise you to put this book down instantaneously, because of all the books describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest yet. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are sent to Paltryville to work in a lumber mill, and they find disaster and misfortune lurking behind every log. *The pages of this book, I'm sorry to inform you, contain such unpleasantries as a giant pincer machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident resulting in injury, and coupons. *I have promised to write down the entire history of these three poor children, but you haven't, so if you prefer stories that are more heartwarming, please feel free to make another selection. *With all due respect, *Lemony Snicket *'''Klaus''': Yes, sir. *'''Violet''': ''Sir''? ===''[[w:The Austere Academy|The Austere Academy]]'' (2000)=== :For Beatrice-- :You will always be in my heart, in my mind, and in your grave. *Get out of my way, you cakesniffers! -Carmelita Spats *Klaus: ''Maybe'' I don't know what "cakesniffer" means, but I think I can translate our new school's motto... If I'm not mistaken, "Memento Mori" means "Remember you will die". *Everybody will die, of course, sooner or later. Circus performers will die, and clarinet experts will die, and you and I will die, and there might be a person who lives on your block, right now, who is not looking both ways before he crosses the street and who will die in just a few seconds, all because of a bus. Everybody will die, but very few people want to be reminded of that fact. The children certainly did not want to remember that they would die, particularly as they walked beneath the arch over Prufrock Prep. The Baudelaire orphans did not need to be reminded of this as they began their first day in the giant graveyard that was now their home. *Shyness is a very curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people are any time, and also, like quicksand, it usually makes its victims look down. *The expression "Making a mountain out of a molehill" simply means making a big deal out of something that is actually a small deal, and it is easy to see how this expression came about. Molehills are simply mounds of earth serving as condominiums for moles, and they have never caused anyone harm except for maybe a stubbed toe if you were walking around the wilderness without any shoes on. Mountains, however, are very large mounds of earth and are constantly causing problems. They are very tall, and when people try to climb them they often fall off, or get lost and die of starvation. Sometimes, two countries fight over who really owns a mountain, and thousands of people have to go to war and come home grumpy or wounded. And, of course, mountains serve as homes to mountain goats and mountain lions, who enjoy attacking helpless picnickers and eating sandwiches or children. So when someone is making a mountain out of a molehill, they are pretending that something is as horrible as a war or a ruined picnic when it is really only as horrible as a stubbed toe. *Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make--bombs for instance, or strawberry shortcake--if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble. Making assumptions simply means believing things are a certain way with little or no evidence that shows you are correct, and you can see how this can lead to terrible trouble. For instance, one morning you might wake up and make the assumption that your bed was in the same place that it always was, even though you would have no real evidence that this was so. But when you got out of your bed, you might discover that it has floated out to sea, and now you would be in terrible trouble all because of the incorrect assumption that you'd made. You can see that it is better not to make too many assumptions, particularly in the morning. *Dear Reader, :If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent and resourceful children, and you might expect that they would do very well at school. Don't. For the Baudelaires, school turns out to be another miserable episode in their unlucky lives. :Truth be told, within the chapters that make up this dreadful story, the children will face snapping crabs, strict punishments, dripping fungus, comprehensive exams, violin recitals, S.O.R.E., and the metric system. Most of all The worst thing that can happen to their friends, (Quagmires) :It is my solemn duty to stay up all night researching and writing the history of these three hapless youngsters, but you may be more comfortable getting a good night's sleep. In that case, you should probably choose some other book. :With all due respect, :Lemony Snicket ===''[[w:The Ersatz Elevator|The Ersatz Elevator]]'' (2001)=== *For Beatrice--When we met, my life began. Soon afterward, yours ended **Lemony Snicket *The world 'bubble' is in the dictionary, as is the word 'peacock,' the word 'vacation,' and the words 'the,' 'author's,' 'execution,' 'has,' 'been,' 'canceled,' which make up a sentence that is always pleasant to hear. So, if you were to read the dictionary, rather than this book, you could skip the parts about 'nervous' and 'anxious' and read about things that wouldn't keep you up all night, weeping and tearing your hair out. But this book is not a dictionary, and if you were to skip the parts about 'nervous' and 'anxious' you would be skipping the most pleasant parts of the entire story. Nowhere in this book will you find the words 'bubble,' 'peacock,' 'vacation,' or, unfortunately for me, anything about an execution being canceled. **Lemony Snicket *If you were to take a plastic bag and place it inside a large bowl, and then, using a wooden spoon, stir the bag around, you could use the expression 'a mixed bag' to describe what you had in front of you, but you would not be using the expression in the same way I am about to use it now. Although 'a mixed bag' sometimes refers to a plastic bag that has been stirred in a bowl, more often, it is used to describe a situation that has both good parts and bad parts. An afternoon movie theater, for example, would be a mixed bag if your favorite movie were showing, but if you had to eat gravel instead of popcorn. A trip to the zoo would be a very mixed bag if the weather were beautiful, but all the man and woman-eating lions were running around loose. ** Lemony Snicket *If you are ever forced to take a chemistry class, you will probably see, at the front of the classroom, a large chart divided into squares, with different numbers and letters in each of them. This chart is called the table of elements, and scientists like to say that it contains all the substances that make up our world. Like everyone else, scientists are wrong from time to time, and it is easy to see that they are wrong about the table of elements. Because although this table contains a great many elements, from the element oxygen, which is found in the air, to the element of aluminum, which is found in cans of soda, the table of elements does not contain one of the most powerful elements that make up our world, and that is the element of surprise. The element of surprise is not a gas like oxygen, or a solid, like aluminum. The element of surprise is an unfair advantage, and it can be found in situations in which one person has sneaked up on another. The surprised person - or, in this sad case, the surprised person - are too stunned to defend themselves and the sneaky person has the advantage of the element of surprise. ** Lemony Snicket ===''[[w:The Vile Village|The Vile Village]]'' (2001)=== * For Beatrice--When we were together I felt breathless. Now, you are.-Lemony Snicket * Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of ‘systematically assisting Sisyphus’s stealthy, Syst-susceptible sister,’ which is easier done than said. - Lemony Snicket<br /> *No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don't read is often as important as what you do read. For instance, if you are walking in the mountains, and you don't read the sign that says "Beware of Cliff" because you were busy reading a joke book instead, you may suddenly find yourself walking on air rather than on a sturdy bed of rocks. If you are baking a pie for your friends, and you read an article entitled "How to Build a Chair" instead of a cookbook, your pie will probably end up tasting like wood and nails instead of like crust and fruity filling. And if you insist on reading this book instead of something more cheerful, you will most certainly find yourself moaning in despair instead of wriggling with delight, so if you have any sense at all you will put this book down and pick up another one. I know of a book, for instance, called The Littlest Elf, which tells the story of a teensy-weensy little man who scurries around fairyland having all sorts of adorable adventures, and you can see at once that you should probably read The Littlest Elf and wriggle over the lovely things that happened to this imaginary creature in a made-up place, instead of reading this book and moaning over the terrible things that have happened to the three Baudelaire orphans. - Lemony Snicket<br /> *A newspaper, as I'm sure you know, is a collection of supposedly true stories written down by writers who either saw them happen or talked to people who did. These writers are called journalists, and like telephone operators, butchers, ballerinas, and people who clean up after horses, journalists can sometimes make mistakes. - Lemony Snicket *When you traveling by bus, it is always difficult to decide whether you should sit in a seat by the window, a seat on the aisle, or a seat in the middle. If you take an aisle seat, you have the advantage of being able to stretch your legs whenever you like, but you have the disadvantage of people walking by you, and they can accidentally step on your toes or spill something on your clothing. If you take a window seat, you have the advantage of getting a clear view of the scenery, but you have the disadvantage of watching insects die as they hit the glass. If you take the middle seat, you have neither of these advantages, and you have the added disadvantage of people leaning all over you when they fall asleep. You can see at once why you should always hire a limousine or rent a mule rather than take the bus to your destination. - Lemony Snicket<br /> *Although "jumping to conclusions" is an expression, rather than an activity, it is as dangerous as jumping off a cliff, jumping in front of a moving train, and jumping for joy. If you jump off a cliff, you have a very good chance of experiencing a painful landing unless there is something below you to cushion your fall, such as a body of water or an immense pile of tissue paper. If you jump in front of a moving train, you have a very good chance of experiencing a painful voyage unless you are wearing some sort of train-proof suit. And if you jump for joy, you have a very good chance of experiencing a painful bump on the head, unless you make sure you are standing someplace with very high ceilings, which joyous people rarely do. Clearly, the solution to anything involving jumping is either to make sure you are jumping to a safe place, or not to jump at all. - Lemony Snicket<br /> *In this large and fierce world of ours, there are many, many unpleasant places to be. You can be in a river swarming with angry electric eels, or in a supermarket filled with vicious long-distance runners. You can be in a hotel that has no room service, or you can be lost in a forest that is slowly filling up with water. You can be in a hornet's nest or in an abandoned airport or the office of a pediatric surgeon, but one of the most unpleasant things that can happen is to find yourself in a quandary. - Lemony Snicket<br /> *Entertaining a notion, like entertaining a baby cousin or entertaining a pack of hyenas, is a dangerous thing to refuse to do. If you refuse to entertain a baby cousin, the baby cousin may get bored and entertain itself by wandering off and falling down a well. If you refuse to entertain a pack of hyenas, they may become restless and entertain themselves by devouring you. But if you refuse to entertain a notion--which is just a fancy way of saying that you refuse to think about a certain idea--you have to be much braver than someone who is merely facing some bloodthirsty animals, or some parents who are upset and find their little darling at the bottom of a well, because nobody knows what an idea will do when it goes off to entertain itself, particularly if the idea comes from a sinister villain. - Lemony Snicket<br /> *A cloud of dust is not a beautiful thing to look at. Very few painters have done portraits of huge clouds of dust or included them in their landscapes or still life. Film directors rarely choose huge clouds of dust to play the lead roles in romantic comedies, and as far as my research has shown, a huge cloud of dust has never placed higher than twenty-fifth in a beauty pageant. - Lemony Snicket<br /> === ''[[w:The Hostile Hospital|The Hostile Hospital]]'' (2001)=== *For Beatrice--Summers without you are as cold as winter. Winters without you are even colder.-Lemony Snicket *If you are like most people, you have an assortment of friends and family you can call upon in times of trouble. For instance, if you woke up in the middle of the night and saw a masked woman trying to crawl through your bedroom window, you might call your mother or father to help you push her back out. If you found yourself hopelessly lost in the middle of a strange city, you might ask the police to give you a ride home. And if you were an author locked in an Italian restaurant that was slowly filling up with water, you might call upon your acquaintances in the locksmith, pasta, and sponge businesses to come and rescue you. **Lemony Snicket *Of all the ridiculous expressions people use--and people use a great many ridiculous expressions--one of the most ridiculous is "No news is good news." "No news is good news" simply means that if you don't hear from someone, everything is probably fine, and you can see at once why this expression makes such little sense because everything being fine is only one of many, many reasons why someone may not contact you. Perhaps they are tied up. Maybe they are surrounded by fierce weasels, or perhaps they are wedged tightly between two refrigerators and cannot get themselves out. The expression might as well be changed to "no news is bad news," except that people may not be able to contact you because they have just been crowned king or are competing in a gymnastics tournament. The point is that there is no way to know why someone has not contacted you until they contact you and explain themselves. For this reason, the sensible expression would be "no news is no news," except that it is so obvious that it is hardly an expression at all. ** Lemony Snicket<br /> *At this point in the dreadful story I am writing, I must interrupt for a moment and describe something that happened to a good friend of mine named Mr. Sirin. Mr. Sirin was a lepidopterist, a word which usually means "a person who studies butterflies." In this case, however, the word "lepidopterist" means "a man who was being pursued by angry government officials," and on the night I am telling you about they were right on his heels. Mr. Sirin looked back to see how close they were--four officers in their bright-pink uniforms, with small flashlights in their left hands and large nets in their right--and realized that in a moment they would catch up, and arrest him and his six favorite butterflies, which were frantically flapping alongside him. Mr. Sirin did not care much if he was captured--he had been in prison four and a half times over the course of his long and complicated life--but he cared very much about the butterflies. He realized that these six delicate insects would undoubtedly perish in bug prison, where poisonous spiders, stinging bees, and other criminals would rip them to shreds. So, as the secret police closed in, Mr. Sirin opened his mouth as wide as he could and swallowed all six butterflies whole, quickly placing them in the dark but safe confines of his empty stomach. It was not a pleasant feeling to have these six insects living inside him, but Mr. Sirin kept them there for three years, eating only the lightest foods served in prison so as not to crush the insects with a clump of broccoli or a baked potato. When his prison sentence was over, Mr. Sirin burped up the grateful butterflies and resumed his lepidoptery work in a community that was much more friendly to scientists and their specimens. **Lemony Snicket *Like all fairy tales, the story of Sleeping Beauty begins with "Once upon a time," and continues with a foolish young princess who makes a witch very angry, and then takes a nap until her boyfriend wakes her up with a kiss and insists on getting married, at which point the story ends with the phrase "happily ever after." **Lemony Snicket *There are many things in this world I do not know. I do not know how butterflies get out of their cocoons without damaging their wings. I do not know why anyone would boil vegetables when roasting them is much tastier. I do not know how to make olive oil, and I do not know why dogs bark before an earthquake, and I do not know why some people voluntarily choose to climb mountains where it is freezing and difficult to breathe or live in the suburbs, where the coffee is watery and all of the houses look alike. ** Lemony Snicket *Because of the information discussed on page nine, experts now suspect that there may in fact be one survivor of the fire, but the survivor's whereabouts are unknown. ** The Snicket File, page 13 ===''[[w:Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography|Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography]]'' (2002)=== *As the official representative of Lemony Snicket in all legal, literary, and social matters, I am often asked difficult questions, even when I am in a hurry. Recently, the most common questions have been the following: 1. Will you please get out of my way? 2. Where did ''Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography'' come from? The replies to both of these questions are very long stories, so there is only room to answer one of them. — Daniel Handler * Dear Diary, **Lemony Snicket * I didn't realize this was a sad occasion. — The waiter at The Anxious Clown Restaurant *Why do so many things end in fire? **Lemony Snicket *What can be hidden in a book? **Lemony Snicket *On the day you officially join the organization, you will hear a noise outside your home. It may sound like the howl of a wolf, the chirping of a cricket, the engine of an automobile, the keys of a typewriter, the striking of a match, or the turning of a page. The noise will come in the middle of the night, the middle of the morning, or, in very rare cases, late in the afternoon. Ask your parents what the noise was. If they reply 'nothing,' they are replying in code, because there is never 'nothing' outside one's home. If you are interested in volunteering, answer your parents with the following question: 'If there's nothing out there, what was that noise?' We will be listening and will know it is safe to act. — V.F.D. *As the aphorism says, If you have to ask, you can't afford it. ** Veritable French Diner ===''[[w:The Carnivorous Carnival|The Carnivorous Carnival]]'' (2002)=== *For Beatrice— Our love broke my heart, and stopped yours. **Lemony Snicket *The sad truth is that the truth is sad. **Lemony Snicket *It's hard for decent people to stay angry at someone who has burst into tears, which is why it is often a good idea to burst into tears if a decent person is yelling at you. ** Lemony Snicket *One of the most troublesome things in life is that what you do or do not want has very little to do with what does or does not happen. ** Lemony Snicket *Miracles are like meatballs because nobody knows what they are made of, where they came from, or how often they should appear. **Lemony Snicket *Besides getting several paper cuts in the same day or receiving the news that someone in your family has betrayed you to your enemies, one of the most unpleasant experiences in life is a job interview. It is very nerve-wracking to explain to someone all the things you can do in the hopes that they will pay you to do them. I once had a very difficult job interview in which I had not only to explain that I could hit an olive with a bow and arrow, memorize up to three pages of poetry, and determine if there was poison mixed into cheese fondue without tasting it, but I had to demonstrate all these things as well. In most cases, the best strategy for a job interview is to be fairly honest, because the worst thing that can happen is that you won't get the job and will spend the rest of your life foraging for food in the wilderness and seeking shelter underneath a tree or the awning of a bowling alley that has gone out of business, but in the case of the Baudelaire orphans' job interview with Madame Lulu, the situation was much more desperate. They could not be honest at all, because they were disguised as entirely different people, and the worst thing that could happen was being discovered by Count Olaf and his troupe and spending the rest of their lives in circumstances so terrible that the children could not bear to think of them. **Lemony Snicket *The story of the Baudelaires does not take place in a fictional land where lollipops grow on trees and singing mice do all of the chores. The story of the Baudelaires takes place in a very real world, where some people are laughed at just because they have something wrong with them, and where children can find themselves all alone in the world, struggling to understand the sinister mystery that surrounds them... **Lemony Snicket *With the Baudelaire orphans, it was as if their grief were a very heavy object that they each took turns carrying so that they would not all be crying at once, but sometimes the object was too heavy for one of them to move without weeping, so Violet and Sunny stood next to Klaus, reminding him that this was something they could all carry together until at last, they found a safe place to lay it down. **Lemony Snicket *The world is a harum-scarum place." <br> "Harum?" Sunny asked. <br> It's complicated and confusing," Olivia explained. They say that long ago it was simple and quiet, but that might be a legend. ===''[[The Slippery Slope|The Slippery Slope]]'' (2003)=== :For Beatrice— :When we first met, you were pretty, and I was lonely. :Now, I am pretty lonely. *Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like. *Having an aura of menace is like having a pet weasel, because you rarely meet someone who has one, and when you do it makes you want to hide under the coffee table. *Dear Reader, *Like handshakes, house pets, or raw carrots, many things are preferable when not slippery. Unfortunately, in this miserable volume, I am afraid that Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire run into more than their fair share of slipperiness during their harrowing journey up -- and down -- a range of strange and distressing mountains. *In order to spare you any further repulsion, it would be best not to mention any of the unpleasant details of this story, particularly a secret message, a toboggan, a deceitful trap, a swarm of snow gnats, a scheming villain, a troupe of organized youngsters, a covered casserole dish, and a surprising survivor of a terrible fire. *Unfortunately, I have dedicated my life to researching and recording the sad tale of the Baudelaire Orphans. There is no reason for you to dedicate yourself to such things, and you might instead dedicate yourself to letting this slippery book slip from your hands into a nearby trash receptacle, or deep pit. *With all due respect, *Lemony Snicket ===''[[w:The Grim Grotto|The Grim Grotto]]'' (2004)=== :For Beatrice— :Dead women tell no tales. :Sad men write them down. *After a great deal of time examining oceans, investigating rainstorms, and staring very hard at several drinking fountains, the scientists of the world developed a theory regarding how water is distributed around our planet, which they have named "the water cycle." The water cycle consists of three key phenomena— evaporation, precipitation, and collection—and all of them are equally boring. Of course, it is boring to read about boring things, but it is better to read something that makes you yawn with boredom than something that will make you weep uncontrollably, pound your fists against the floor, and leave tearstains all over your pillowcase, sheets, and boomerang collection. Like the water cycle, the tale of the Baudelaire children consists of three key phe-nomena, but rather than read their sorry tale it would be best if you read something about the water cycle instead. - Lemony Snicket *Evaporation, the first of these phenomena, is the process of water turning into vapor and eventually forming clouds, such as those found in cloudy skies, or on cloudy days, or even cloudy nights. These clouds are formed by a phenomenon known as "evaporation," which is the first of three phenomena that make up the water cycle. Evapo-ration, the first of these three, is simply a term for a process by which water turns into vapor and eventually forms clouds. Clouds can be recognized by their appearance, usually on cloudy days or nights, when they can be seen in cloudy skies. The name for the process by which clouds are formed—by water, which turns into vapor and becomes part of the formation known as "clouds"—is "evaporation," the first phenomenon in the three phenomena that make up the cycle of water, otherwise known as "the water cycle," and surely you must be asleep by now and so can be spared the horrifying details of the Baudelaires' journey. - Lemony Snicket *The second of these phenomena-precipitation—is the process by which vapor turns into water and falls as rain, something you might notice during a rainfall or by going outdoors on a rainy morn-ing, afternoon, evening, or night. This falling water you notice is known as "rain," which is the result of the phenomenon of precipitation, one of the three phenomena that comprise the water cycle. Of these three phenomena, precipitation is regarded as the second one, particularly if a list of the three phenomena places precipitation in the middle, or second, spot on the list. "Pre-cipitation" is quite simply a term for the transformation of vapor into water, which then falls as rain—something you might encounter if you were to step outside during a rainstorm. Rain consists of water, which was formerly vapor but underwent the process known as "precipita-tion," one of the three phenomena in the water cycle, and by now this tedious description must have put you back to sleep, so you may avoid the gruesome details of my account of Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire as they made their way through the Gorgonian Grotto back to the Queequeg. - Lemony Snicket *The water cycle consists of three phenomena— evaporation, precipitation, and collection—and collection, the third of these phenomena, is the third of the phenomena that make up what is generally known as "the water cycle." This phenomenon, known as "collection," is the process of the gathering of water in the oceans, lakes, rivers, ponds, reservoirs, and puddles of the world, so that it will eventually go through the phenomena of evaporation and precipita-tion, thus beginning the water cycle all over again. It is a tedious thing for a reader to find in a book, of course, and I hope that my descriptions of the water cycle have bored you enough that you have put this book down long ago, and will not read Chapter Thirteen of The Grim Grotto any more than the Baudelaire orphans will ever read Chapter Thirty-Nine of Mushroom Minutiae, no matter how crucial such a chapter might be. But however tedious the water cycle is to readers, it must be very tedious indeed to the drops of water who must participate in the cycle over and over again. Occasionally, when I pause while writing my chronicle of the Baudelaire orphans, and my eyes and back turn upward from my desk to look out at the evening sky-the purple color of which explains the expression "the violet hour" —I imagine myself as a drop of water, especially if it is raining, or if my desk is floating in a reservoir. - Lemony Snicket *Violet said..."We've never known anyone who could remain so cheerful, no matter what terrible things occurred. *To tell you the truth, I sometimes find it a bit tiresome," Fiona said... *My stepfather said that the amount of treachery in this world is enormous and that the best we could do was one small noble thing. **Fiona *Why, you're all grown up! The last time I saw you I was trying to throw thumbtacks into your cradle! **Count Olaf * People aren't either wicked or noble," the hook-handed man said. They're like chef's salad, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict. *As the hook-handed man circled the brig, it was as if the Baudelaires were picking through a chef's salad consisting mostly of dreadful- and perhaps even poisonous- ingredients, trying desperately to find the one noble crouton that might save their sister... **Lemony Snicket *'''Lemony Snicket:''' (narrating) When you are invited to dine, particularly with people you do not know very well, it always helps to have a conversational opener, a phrase which here means "an interesting sentence to say out loud in order to get people talking." Although lately, it has become more and more difficult to attend dinner parties without the evening ending in gunfire or tapioca, I keep a list of good and bad conversational openers in my commonplace book in order to avoid awkward pauses at the dinner table. "Who would like to see an assortment of photographs taken while I was on vacation?" for instance, is a very poor conversational opener because it is likely to make your fellow diners shudder instead of talk, whereas good conversational openers are sentences such as "What would drive a man to commit arson?," "Why do so many stories of true love end in tragedy and despair?," and "Madam DeLustrio, I believe I've discovered your true identity!" all of which are likely to provoke discussions, arguments, and accusations, thus making the dinner party much more entertaining. *'''Lemony Snicket:''' (narrating) Reading poetry, even if you are only reading to find a secret message within its words, can often give one a feeling of power, the way you can feel powerful if you are the only one who brought an umbrella on a rainy day or the only one who knows how to untie knots when you're taken hostage. *I'm happier than a pig eating bacon!" Count Olaf cried. "I'm tickled pinker than a sun-burned Caucasian! I'm in higher spirits than a brand-new graveyard! I'm so happy-go-lucky that lucky and happy people are going to beat me with sticks out of pure, unbridled jealousy! *There is evil out there you cannot even imagine. -Captain Widdershins * C is for Cute<br>A is for Adorable<br>R is for Ravishing<br>M is for Gorgeous<br>E is for Excellent<br>L is for Lovable<br>I is for I'm the best!<br>T is for Talented<br>A is for "A tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian! ''NOW LET'S START MY WHOLE WONDERFUL SONG ALL OVER AGAIN!'' *Carmelita Spats, who oughtta be told "Gorgeous" does not start with an M. *I can't stand the lyrics. **Klaus ===''[[w:The Penultimate Peril|The Penultimate Peril]]'' (2005)=== *For Beatrice— No one could extinguish my love, or your house. ** Lemony Snicket *Richard Wright, an American novelist of the realist school, asks a famous unfathomable question in his best-known novel, ''Native Son''. Who knows when some slight shock, he asks, disturbing the delicate balance between social order and thirsty aspiration, shall send the skyscrapers in our cities toppling? **Lemony Snicket (351-352) *"Whenever you see someone in a taxi, they are probably being driven to do some errand. Surely there must be something you need to do, or somewhere you need to go. A great American novelist wrote that people travel faster now, but she wasn't sure if they do better things. Maybe you would do better things if you traveled at this very moment." - Man in taxi (possibly Lemony Snicket) * '''Lemony Snicket:''' (narrating) But the three siblings were not born yesterday. Violet was born more than fifteen years before this particular Wednesday, and Klaus was born approximately two years after that, and even Sunny, who had just passed out of babyhood, was not born yesterday. Neither were you, unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life. *The name John Godfrey Saxe is not likely to mean anything to you, unless you are a fan of American humorist poets of the nineteenth century. There are not many such people in the world, but the Baudelaires' father was one of them, and had several poems committed to memory. From time to time he would get into a whimsical mood-the word "whimsical," as you probably know, means "odd and impulsive"-and would grab the nearest Baudelaire child, bounce him or her up and down on his lap, and recite a poem by John Godfrey Saxe about an elephant. In the poem, six blind men encountered an elephant for the first time and were unable to agree on what the animal was like. The first man felt the tall, smooth side of the elephant, and concluded that an elephant was like a wall. The second man felt the tusk of the elephant, and decided that an elephant resembled a spear. The third man felt the trunk of the elephant, and the fourth felt one of the elephant's legs, and so on and so on, with all of the blind men bickering over what an elephant is like. As with many children, Violet and Klaus had grown old enough to find their father's whimsical moods a little embarrassing, so Sunny had become the primary audience for Mr. Baudelaire's poetry recital, and remembered the poem best. *"Burn down hotel!" Sunny said. *Never mind what you were doing, Olaf said. You're fired!<br>You can't fire me! Esme growled. I quit!<br>Well, you can leave by mutual agreement, Olaf grumbled and then with another succinct Ha! he lifted the harpoon gun and pointed it at Dewey Denouement. *By "Preludio," her siblings knew, Sunny was referring to the Hotel Preludio, and the weekend vacation the entire Baudelaire family had spent there. As Kit Snicket had mentioned, the Hotel Preludio was a lovely place, and I am happy to report that it is still standing, like a small mercy, and that its ballroom still has its famous chandeliers, which are shaped like enormous jellyfish and move up and down in time to the music that the orchestra plays, and that the bookstore in the lobby still specializes in the work of American novelists of the realist school, and the outdoor swimming pool is still as beautiful as it ever was, its reflection of the hotel windows shimmering whenever anyone dives in to swim laps. But the Baudelaire orphans were not remembering the chandeliers, or the bookstore, or even the swimming pool, where Sunny first learned to blow bubbles. They were remembering a prank their father had taught them, when he was in one of his whimsical moods, that can be played in any elevator. The prank, a word which here means "joke played on someone with whom you are sharing an elevator," is best played at the moment when you are about to get off the elevator, and your fellow passengers are heading to a higher story. The Baudelaires' mother had objected to their father teaching them such a prank, as she said it was undignified, but their father had pointed out it was no more undignified than doing magic tricks with dinner rolls, which their mother had done that very morning in the hotel restaurant, and she reluctantly agreed to participate in the prank. This particular moment in the Baudelaires' lives, of course, was not the best one for a prank, but Violet and Klaus saw immediately what their sister had in mind, and when the sliding doors opened and Count Olaf stomped inside the elevator, the three Baudelaires followed him and immediately pressed every single button. When the Baudelaires' father had done this after exiting the elevator, it meant that the remaining passenger, a tiresome woman named Eleanora. had been forced to visit every story on the way up to her room, but here in the Hotel Denouement, the prank served a dual purpose, a phrase which here means "enabled the Baudelaires to do two things at once." *I'll have ten grams of rice, Mrs. Bass interrupted, one tenth of a hectogram of shrimp vindaloo, a dekagram of chana aloo masala, one thousand centigrams of tandori salmon, four samosas with surface area of nineteen cubic centimeters, five deciliters of mango lassi, and a sada rava dosai that's exactly nineteen centimeters long. **page 134. *'''Violet:''' "Fire! Attention everyone! There's a fire in the hotel! Please leave at once!" :'''The man with a beard but no hair:''' "Fire? Good work, Olaf!" :'''Jerome Squalor:''' What do you mean, good work?" :'''The man with a beard but no hair:''' "I meant to say, 'there's Olaf!'"''[pushs Jerome in the direction of the elevator]'' "Capture him! He needs to be brought to the authorities!" :'''Frank (probably):''' "Olaf is here? I'm going to capture him!" :'''Ernest (probably):''' "Where are the Baudelaires? I'm going to capture them!" :'''The woman with hair but no beard:''' "In the elevator!" :'''Violet:''' "Call the fire department!" . :'''Either Frank or Ernest:''' "Which one?" :'''Count Olaf:''' "Those judges promised that if I waited until tomorrow I'd see all my enemies destroyed, and now they're trying to capture me. I knew they'd fail me some day." :''[the elevator stops on another floor]'' :'''Klaus:''' "There's a fire in the hotel! Everyone leave at once!" :'''Esmé Squalor:''' "A fire? Who said that?" :'''Klaus:''' "It's Klaus Baudelaire. You need to get out of the hotel!" :'''Carmelita Spats:''' "Don't listen to that cakesniffer! He's just trying to escape from us! Let's take off our blindfolds and peek!" :'''Count Olaf:''' "Don't take off your blindfolds! Those Baudelaires are guilty of contempt of court, and they're trying to trick you into joining them! There's no fire! Whatever you do, don't leave the hotel!" :'''Klaus:''' "We're not tricking you! Olaf is tricking you! Please believe us!" :'''Esmé:''' "I don't know who to believe, you orphans are as dishonest as my ex-boyfriend." :'''Carmelita:''' "Leave us alone! We can find our own way!" :''[the elevator stops on another floor]'' :'''Sunny:''' “Fire! Use stairs. Do not use elevator!" :'''Mr. Poe:''' "Sunny Baudelaire? Don't add the false reporting of fire to your list of crimes! You're already guilty of contempt of court, and perhaps murder!" :'''Justice Strauss:''' "It's not false! There really is a fire, Mr. Poe! Leave this hotel!" :'''Mr. Poe:''' "I can't leave [coughs], I'm still in charge of the Baudelaires' affairs and their parents' fort-" :The elevator doors closed before Mr. Poe could finish his word, and the Baudelaires were taken away from the banker one last time, and with each stop of the elevator, I'm sorry to say, it was more or less the same. The Baudelaires saw Mrs. Bass on the third story, still wearing her small blond wig like a snowcap on the top of a mountain peak, and her blindfold, stretched over her small, narrow mask, and they saw Mr. Remora, who was wandering around the seventh story with Vice Principal Nero. They saw Geraldine Julienne, who was using her microphone the way some blind people use a cane, and they saw Charles and Sir, who were holding hands so as not to lose one another, and they saw Hugo and Colette and Kevin, who were holding the birdpaper Klaus had hung outside the window of the sauna, and they saw Mr. Lesko arguing with Mrs. Morrow, and they saw a man with a guitar making friends with a woman in a crow-shaped hat, and they saw many people they did not recognize, either as volunteers or as villains, who were wandering the hallways of the hotel to capture anyone they might find suspicious. Some of these people believed the Baudelaires when they told them the news of the fire, and some of these people believed Count Olaf when he told them that the Baudelaires were lying, and some of these people believed Justice Strauss when she told them that Count Olaf was lying when he said the Baudelaires were lying when they told them the news of the fire. But the elevator's stop on each story of the hotel was very brief, and the children had only a glimpse of each of these people. They heard Mrs. Bass mutter something about a getaway car, and they heard Mr. Remora wonder something about fried bananas. They heard Nero worry about his violin case, and Geraldine squeal about headlines, and they heard Charles and Sir bicker over whether or not fires were good for the lumber industry. They heard Hugo ask if the plan for the hors d'ouvres was still in operation, and they heard Colette ask about plucking the feathers off crows, and they heard Kevin complain that he didn't know whether to hold the birdpaper in his right hand or his left hand, and they heard Mr. Lesko insult Mrs. Morrow, and the bearded man sing a song to the woman with the crow-shaped hat, and they heard a man call for Bruce and a woman call for her mother and dozens of people whisper to and shout at, argue with and agree upon, angrily accuse and meekly defend, furiously compliment and kindly insult dozens of other people, both inside and outside the Hotel Denouement, whose names the Baudelaires recognized, forgot, and had never heard before. Each story had its story, and each story's story was unfathomable in the Baudelaire orphans' short journey, and many of the stories' stories are unfathomable to me, even after all these lonely years and all this lonely research. Perhaps some of these stories are clearer to you, because you have spied upon the people involved. Perhaps Mrs. Bass has changed her name and lives near you, or perhaps Mr. Remora's name is the same, and he lives far away. Perhaps Nero now works as a grocery store clerk, or Geraldine Julienne now teaches arts and crafts. Perhaps Charles and Sir are no longer partners, and you have had the occasion to study one of them as he sat across from you on a bus, or perhaps Hugo, Colette, and Kevin are still comrades, and you have followed these unfathomable people after noticing that one of them used both hands equally. Perhaps Mr. Lesko is now your neighbor, or Mrs. Morrow is now your sister, or your mother, or your aunt or wife or even your husband. Perhaps the noise you hear outside your door is a bearded man trying to climb into your window, or perhaps it is a woman in a crow-shaped hat hailing a taxi. Perhaps you have spotted the managers of the Hotel Denouement, or the judges of the High Court, or the waiters of Cafe Salmonella or the Anxious Clown, or perhaps you have met an expert on injustice or become one yourself. Perhaps the people in your unfathomable life, and their unfathomable stories, are clear to you as you make your way in the world, but when the elevator stopped for the last time, and the doors slid open to reveal the tilted roof of the Hotel Denouement, the Baudelaires felt as if they were balancing very delicately on a mysterious and perplexing heap of unfathomable mysteries. They did not know who would survive the fire they had helped set, and who would perish. They did not know who thought they were volunteers and who thought they were villains, or who believed they were innocent and who believed they were guilty. And they did not know if their own observations, errands, and deeds meant that they were noble, or wicked, or somewhere in between. *The last safe place is safe no more. ** Sunny ===''[[w:The End (novel)|The End]]'' (2006)=== *For Beatrice — I cherished, you perished, The world's been nightmarished **Lemony Snicket *"I won't force you." - Ishmael *If you have read this far in the chronicle of the Baudelaire orphans—and I certainly hope you have not—then you know we have reached the thirteenth chapter of the thirteenth volume in this sad history, and so you know the end is near, even though this chapter is so lengthy that you might never reach the end of it. But perhaps you do not yet know what the end really means. "The end" is a phrase which refers to the completion of a story, or the final moment of some accomplishment, such as a secret errand, or a great deal of research, and indeed this thirteenth volume marks the completion of my investigation into the Baudelaire case, which required much research, a great many secret errands, and the accomplishments of a number of my comrades, from a trolley driver to a botanical hybridization expert, with many, many typewriter repair people in between. But it cannot be said that The End contains the end of the Baudelaires' story, any more than The Bad Beginning contained its beginning. The children's story began long before that terrible day on Briny Beach, but there would have to be another volume to chronicle when the Baudelaires were born, and when their parents married, and who was playing the violin in the candlelit restaurant when the Baudelaire parents first laid eyes on one another, and what was hidden inside that violin, and the childhood of the man who orphaned the girl who put it there, and even then it could not be said that the Baudelaires' story had not begun, because you would still need to know about a certain tea party held in a penthouse suite, and the baker who made the scones served at the tea party, and the baker's assistant who smuggled the secret ingredient into the scone batter through a very narrow drainpipe, and how a crafty volunteer created the illusion of a fire in the kitchen simply by wearing a certain dress and jumping around, and even then the beginning of the story would be as far away as the shipwreck that left the Baudelaire parents as castaways on the coastal shelf is far away from the outrigger on which the islanders would depart. One could say, in fact, that no story really has a beginning, and that no story really has an end, as all of the world's stories are as jumbled as the items in the arboretum, with their details and secrets all heaped together so that the whole story, from beginning to end, depends on how you look at it. We might even say that the world is always in medias res— a Latin phrase which means "in the midst of things" or "in the middle of a narrative"—and that it is impossible to solve any mystery, or find the root of any trouble, and so The End is really the middle of the story, as many people in this history will live long past the close of Chapter Thirteen, or even the beginning of the story, as a new child arrives in the world at the chapter's close. But one cannot sit in the midst of things forever. Eventually one must face that the end is near, and the end of The End is quite near indeed, so if I were you I would not read the end of The End, as it contains the end of a notorious villain but also the end of a brave and noble sibling, and the end of the colonists' stay on the island, as they sail off the end of the coastal shelf. The end of The End contains all these ends, and that does not depend on how you look at it, so it might be best for you to stop looking at The End before the end of The End arrives, and to stop reading The End before you read the end, as the stories that end in The End that began in The Bad Beginning are beginning to end now. ===''[[w:The Beatrice Letters|The Beatrice Letters]]'' (2006)=== * I will love you no matter how many mistakes I make when trying to reduce fractions, and no matter how difficult it is to memorize the periodic table. * I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. * I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms. *I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see. === ''[[w:Adverbs (novel)|Adverbs]]'' (2006) === ==== ''Immediately'' ==== * Love was in the air so both of us walked through love on our way to the corner. * The world gets grimy and the love object is in stark relief from its surroundings. This is love, a pretty thing on an ugly street and why wouldn't you pick it up if it appeared in a taxi cab. * I'm frightened by your behaviour. I woke up this morning and you said good morning and i said good morning, what do you feel like doing today, and you said well i sort of have to do this thing, and i said what thing and you said go to the reading of my father's will, and I said what are you talking about and then you told me that your dad had died. THIS MORNING. ==== ''Obviously'' ==== * If i were a little braver i would have asked her something like, "Do you think Kickass: the movie is a comedy in the traditional, classical sense?" and we could have that conversation and it would lead to other conversations during the flat and lonely times. * Standing ten feet away from Lila was sort of kickass with her nails drumming on the box with the slot in, where we put everything that we rip in half, and with her blue-eyed beauty and with the gum she was chewing and how lovely she was, in that way that makes you want to find something else lovely just so you can give it to her and see how really kickass it is to have to lovely things next to each other. * Keith has one of those all terrain things that will come in so handy when the world ends and we need a nine-thousand -cylinder engine to drive over those hordes of blood-thirsty mutants crawling all over the video-game landscape. * This world is suchier than we are, and the best thing to do is keep moving and find your keys. ==== ''Arguably'' ==== * Money money money money money money money money money. Let no one say it has no place in a love story. It has a particular place. It is something on the right shelf. * This is love, moving to where the money is, and all the while a volcano or an ex-girlfriend might blow the whole thing to hell, as the Americans say. As everybody says. ==== ''Particularly'' ==== * … the point is, why is there cruelty? Why do people ask other people to do impossible things? why behave this way? why is there mean, when there are better things than mean, love particularly? * "I love you, too" David said and took the bottle.<br>"I want you to love me in particular," Helena said ==== ''Soundly'' ==== * It's always dawnest before dark * I'm full of hard times today * The right boys I always toss and the wrong ones I keep on top of me like paperweights. ==== ''Frigidly'' ==== * What a bad day it was, the clouds were low and cloudy, the rain no fun, and the dark as it hit the late afternoon thick like someone who stops by your place and just won't leave. The day was canceled, almost, on account of the rain spilling itself over everything. * This was that day if you know what I mean. * It was a bad day for love. * The rain, the rain, the rain. You can't even hear it outside the window but still it's a sad thing. Rain, the grade school teachers say, makes the trees and flowers grow, but we're not trees and flower, and so many grade school teachers are single. * She said, "We're detectives" in the tone of voice that someone might say, "Making you happy isn't making me happy" * They could not love anymore, they thought, just drink and pour coffee and track people down in the rain. They were living frigidly, as if in a cone of frost. * All love gets over, and we must get over it. ==== ''Collectively'' ==== * Love can smack you like a seagull, and pour all over your feet like junkmail. You can't be ready for such a thing any more than salt water taffy gets you ready for the ocean. * Mike could see the fellow cooked and ate and sat on a sofa and put his feet up on the table it magazines. Mike didn't care which ones the fellow subscribed to, because Mike had subscribed to the fellow. * This is love, and the trouble with it: it can make you embarrassed. Love is really liking someone a whole lot and not wanting to screw that up. Everybody's chewed over this. This unites us, this part of love. * I find you interesting, Joe, so nearly everything you say will be interesting too. I love you. I could say I'm lonely but that's not the only reason. * "I'm not - the terrific guy you keep telling me about. I'm not made of sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm made of rats and snails and puppy-dogs tails. I lie sometimes. I have broken people's hearts. I'm looking for love, I'll admit that, but now that it's here in abundance, I'm afraid of commitment and I want you, please, to leave me." ==== ''Symbolically'' ==== * [she] gave me a puzzled frown like she thought offhand i was dead but the media's so unreliable these days. * That's always where the love goes, with somebody else away from me. ==== ''Clearly'' ==== * All four of them have completely abandoned one another. * Adam hates Tomas and tried to get Eddie to join him in hate. It hasn't worked, although Eddie will admit certain shortcomings, and the two men have not met until now, in the forest, when Adam has decided that Tomas in Eddie's stories and the Tomas in this story are the same man. ==== ''Naturally'' ==== * It was the sort of day when people walk in the park and solve problems. "We'll simply call the taxi company, David, and request a large one, like one of those vans." Is the sort of thing you would overhear if you were overhearing in the park. * ''Dear Joe'' The letter said ''The windows rattle without you, you bastard. The trees are the cause, rattling in the wind, you jerk, the wild scraping those leaves and twigs against my window. They'll keep on doing this, you terrible husband, and slowly wear away our entire apartment.'' ==== ''Wrongly'' ==== * "Yeah, I have a question," said the guy with the wicked eyes... "My question is, I quit. I'm going to quit." * What he'd just said was "Who cares?" and nobody wants to hear that. * South San Francisco The Industrial City is ugly as sin but somebody lives there: Allison, in fact. * He's been misled and he's been afraid. He's been hit in the head and left for dead. He's been abused and he's been accused and he's been refused a piece of bread. On and on he goes down this road getting pushed around and lost and around and given until sundown to get out of town, and yet this is basically a love song. He's had the shit kicked out of him, and guess what? It's love. * "When I was crazy." the radio explained, "I thought you were great." * Allison squinted at the strange, catastrophic sky, and took another step, another step, another step, because in the future - she could see it - this would not be happening. ==== ''Truly'' ==== * If you follow the diamond in my mother's ring from Africa to Germany to California to Arizona to Wisconsin, in the heel of a grandmother, in the beak of a magpie, in the gravel of the path, in someone else's novel, in the center of the earth where the volcanoes are from, you would forget the miracle, the reason diamonds end up in people's fingers in the first place. it is not the diamonds or the birds, the people or the potatoes, it is not any of the nouns. The miracle is the adverbs, the way things are done. It is the way love gets done despite every catastrophe. ==== ''Not Particularly'' ==== * "I know" Helena said and this is another example of why behave this way? Things just poured out of her mouth lately, like vomit, and sometimes it actually was. * They are all one, the mothers of us all, like the money you spent. Imagine the vanish of weight if the advice of your mother never existed. They tell us things, unless we have no mothers and either way things turn out such that nothing you've ever heard is ever any help. ==== ''Often'' ==== * "Instead of change, please give me gun so i can shoot you." She is soft-spoken but short and full of rage lately, like her whole life. * He bought a bird in its own cage, with a sheet over it so no one could see the bird and the bird couldn't see anyone, and the whole thing was a secret bird... Everything he said was tinged with the unreadability of someone who would bring a bird on cruise ship. * "Oh my god!" Hillary is standing in the doorway of the bathroom of the bathroom which on one had is surprising but there's the other hand, too. * "Help me," Allison says, but she is soft-spoken, and everyone she loves is so far away. ==== ''Barely'' ==== * Over the years they had developed a layer of sincerity over the irony over the sincerity. It was an irony sandwich, then, which tasted mostly like sincerity, like a cheap, bad sandwich. * Wedding after wedding after wedding and then yours - your wedding? Would that make you what they're now calling happy? * God, or somebody, what is it with terrible things? If you made this world why not a better one? ==== ''Judgmentally'' ==== * judgmentally, judgmentally, judgmentally I would believe in you and sword fight others who did not, any necessary sacrifice if you were in the mood for that. * They say love's like a bus, and if you wait long enough another one will come along, but not in this place where the buses are slow and most of the cute ones are gay. ===''[[The End (novel)|The End]]'' (2006)=== *If you have ever peeled an onion, then you know that the first thin, papery layer reveals another thin, papery layer, and that layer reveals another, and another, and before you know it you have hundreds of layers all over the kitchen table and thousands of tears in your eyes, sorry that you ever started peeling in the first place and wishing that you had left the onion alone to wither away on the shelf of the pantry while you went on with your life, even if that meant never again enjoying the complicated and overwhelming taste of this strange and bitter vegetable. <br><br>In this way, the story of the Baudelaire orphans is like an onion, and if you insist on reading each and every thin, papery layer in A Series of Unfortunate Events, your only reward will be 170 chapters of misery in your library and countless tears in your eyes. Even if you have read the first twelve volumes of the Baudelaires' story, it is not too late to stop peeling away the layers, and to put this book back on the shelf to wither away while you read something less complicated and overwhelming. The end of this unhappy chronicle is like its bad beginning, as each misfortune only reveals another, and another, and another, and only those with the stomach for this strange and bitter tale should venture any farther into the Baudelaire onion. I'm sorry to tell you this, but that is how the story goes. **Chapter 1 *''Olaf:'' Of course I'm trying to trick you! That's the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everyone runs around with their secrets and their schemes, trying to outwit everyone else. Ishmael outwitted me, and put me in this cage. But I know how to outwit him and all his islander friends. If you let me out, I can be king of Olaf-Land, and you three can be my new henchfolk. ''Klaus:'' We don't want to be your henchfolk, we just want to be safe. ''Olaf:'' Nowhere in the world is safe. **Chapter 7 *''Friday'': Baudelaires, please come with me.<br>''Olaf'': What about me?<br>''Friday'': Go away. *Of course, it is quite possible to be in the dark in the dark, but there are so many secrets in the world that it is likely that you are always in the dark about one thing or another, whether you are in the dark in the dark or in the dark not in the dark, although the sun can go down so quickly that you may be in the in the dark about being in the dark, only to look around and find yourself no longer in the dark about being in the dark, but in the dark in the dark nontheless, not only because of the dark, but because of the ballerinas in the dark, who are not in the dark about the dark, but also not in the dark about the locked cabinet, and you may be in the dark about the ballerinas digging up the locked cabinet in the dark, even though you are no longer in the dark about being in the dark, and so you are in fact in the dark about being in the dark, even though you are not in the dark about being in the dark, and so you may fall into the hole that the ballerinas have dug, which is dark, in the dark, and in the park. **Chapter 9 *Perhaps if we saw what was ahead of us, and glimpsed the crimes, follies, and misfortunes that would befall us later on, we would all stay in our mother's wombs, and there would be nobody in the world but a great number of very fat, very irritated women. *''Olaf'': I'm a genius! I've solved all of our problems! Look!<br>''Violet'': Renaming the boat doesn't solve any of our problems. *''Beatrice.'' **Chapter 14 * Halloween seems to last forever, until it is finally time to put on one's costume and demand candy from strangers. Dear Reader, You are presumably looking at the back of this book, or the end of THE END. The end of THE END is the best place to begin THE END, because if you read THE END from the beginning of the beginning of THE END to the end of the end of THE END, you will arrive at the end of your rope. == See also == * ''[[Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events]]'' == External links == {{wikipedia}} {{commons category}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Handler, Daniel}} [[Category:Novelists from the United States]] [[Category:Short story writers from the United States]] [[Category:Screenwriters from the United States]] [[Category:1970 births]] [[Category:Living people]] [[Category:People from San Francisco]] [[Category:Postmodern authors]] [[Category:Feminists]] [[Category:Humanists]] [[fa:دنیل هندلر]] h2x8u68v84bdc0ovd4l50a5ddixeb8c 0 104718 3942251 3933765 2026-05-18T06:35:02Z ~2026-29832-62 3323910 /* Dialogue */ 3942251 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Dinosaur (2000 film)|Dinosaur]]''''' is a [[w:2000 in film|2000]] live-action/computer-animated feature film produced by [[w:Walt Disney Animation Studios|Walt Disney Feature Animation]] and released by [[w:Walt Disney Pictures|Walt Disney Pictures]] featuring anthropomorphic [[Dinosauria|dinosaur]]s. It tells the story of Aladar, an Iguanodon whose egg was snatched and dropped on a remote island. :''Directed by Eric Leighton and [[w:Ralph Zondag|Ralph Zondag]]. Written by Ralph Zondag, [[w:John Harrison (filmmaker)|John Harrison]], and [[w:Robert Nelson Jacobs|Robert Nelson Jacobs]]. Music by [[w:James Newton Howard|James Newton Howard]].'' {{center|'''Discover a world you've only imagined''' ([[Dinosaur (film)#Taglines|taglines]])}} ==Aladar== * Oh, no! Attacking lemurs! Suri, please! I can't take it! There are too many of you! Come on! Pick on someone your own size! Help! * You're missin' all the action, pal. Come on! ==Eema== * Walkin' backward, huh? Well, let me know if that gets you there any faster! Keep those little legs moving, Url, or you'll get left behind! * Well, you just consider yourself lucky, that's ''all'' that's following us. * ''[about to cross the desert]'' If you smell something sizzling, it could be me. * Who booked this trip anyway? ==Plio== * ''[opening narration]'' Some things start out big, and some things start out small, very small. But sometimes the smallest thing can make the biggest changes of all. * It's okay. We'll teach him to hate meat. * You're never going to forget this day, so make it one to remember. * Oh, Aladar, if only there was someone on the island for you. Well, you know, who looks like you, but prettier. * ''[closing narration]'' None of us really know what changes, big or small, lie ahead. One thing is certain: our journey's not over. We can only hope that, in some small way, our time here will be remembered. ==Zini== * This monster's got no teeth! What's he gonna do? Gum us to death? * Hey, I'm lucky to be rid of them. With the ladies, before you know it, they all wanna move to a bigger tree. * What you need is a little help from the love monkey. * Hey, enough with the beauty sleep! You're ravishing already! == Dialogue == :''[First lines; A life in the egg of ''[[w:Iguanodon|Iguanodon]]'' name Aladar]'' :'''Plio''': ''[narrating]'' Some things start out big, and some things start out small, very small. But sometimes the smallest thing can make the biggest changes of all. :''[Aladar's mother taking care of her nest of eggs. A baby ''[[w:Parasaurolophus|Parasaurolophus]]'' sniffs one of the eggs (presumably Aladar's egg), but Aladar's Mother scares it away. It then runs to the other nests, but gets frightened away by dinosaur mother guarding them. A herd of ''[[w:Brachiosaurus|Brachiosaurus]]'' also called a ''[[w:Giraffatitan|Giraffatitian]]'' in the lakes. The Parasaurolophus runs through the river, and follows a ''[[w:Longisquama|Longisquama.]]'' The Longisquama catches a dragonfly and eats it. The young Parasaurolophus then chases the flying lizard and runs into the forest, where it lands on something half-hidden. The Parasaurolophus then sees drops of saliva landing on a tree branch and notices the Longisquama has landed on the nose of a ''[[w:Carnotaurus|Carnotaurus]]''. The Parasaurolophus runs out of the forest and gets chased by the Carnotaurus, which panics all of the dinosaurs present in the Nesting Grounds. As Aladar's mother abandons her nest, the Carnotaurus smashes all but one of the eggs in the Iguanodon's nest in the process. Ultimately, the chase ends when the Carnotaurus runs down and kills a ''[[w:Pachyrhinosaurus|Pachyrhinosaurus,]]''. An ''[[w:Oviraptor|Oviraptor]]'' seizes Aladar's egg left unharmed and hurries off into the jungle. Another Oviraptor swipes it from its grasp. They fight, and it falls down into the river below. As it is swept away by the current, it was swallowed, then spat out, by a ''[[w:Koolasuchus|Koolasuchus;]]'', floats between a pair of quarreling ''[[w:Talarurus|Talarurus;]]'' moved towards the river's center by a herd of drinking Pachyrhinosaurus; and finally picked up by a ''[[w:Pteranodon|Pteranodon]]'' that carries it far away to ''[[w:Lemur|Lemur]]'' island. Baby Pteranodons are watching; a two ''[[w:Ichtyornis|Ichtyornis]]'' pester the parent Pteranodon and it drops the egg on the island.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[When a dinosaur egg falls on the island. A colony of lemurs scatter in a frenzy. 4 lemurs approach: Plio, Yar, Zini, and Suri.]'' :'''Young Zini''': Yar, what is it? :'''Yar''': I don't know. PLIO, GET BACK HERE! We don't know what it is! :'''Young Zini''': Plio, be careful. :''[Plio sneak over sensing, she got present when the egg cracks, then opens the shell and is happy to see a baby iguanodon]'' :'''Plio''': Dad, get over here. :'''Yar''': ''[pulls Zini to safety]'' Zini, it's not safe! :'''Young Zini''': Oh, I always have to go when stuff's happening. :'''Yar''': ''[scoffs at Zini and gets closer to Plio]'' Well, what is it? :'''Plio''': It was an egg. ''[to baby Aladar]'' Look. ''[Yar gasps in shock]'' What? :'''Yar''': It's a cold-blooded monster from across the sea: vicious, flesh-eating! ''[Baby Aladar burps]'' Eurgh... :'''Plio''': Looks like a baby to me. :'''Yar''': Babies grow up! You keep that thing, one day, we'll turn our backs, it'll be picking us out of it's ''teeth!'' ''[to the other lemurs]'' Things like THAT eat things lie US as snacks! :''[Some lemurs yelp in fear]'' :'''Plio''': So, what do we do? :'''Yar''': Get rid of it! ''[trying to dissuade Plio from raising the baby Aladar]'' :'''Plio''': ''[vexed]'' ''What'' has gotten into you? :'''Yar''': ''[exasperated]'' Plio...That ''thing'' is dangerous! :'''Plio''': ''[to baby Aladar; regretfully sighs]'' I'm sorry, little one. ''[to Yar, handling baby Aladar over to him]'' Okay, get rid of it. ''[Yar gasps]'' Hmph. ''[sits on a patch of moss to watch]'' :'''Yar''': All right, I will. ''[lifts baby Aladar over the edge of the branch, preparing to drop the dinosaur baby to his death. All the other lemurs are watching him. He hesitates]'' :'''Plio''': ''[sarcastically]'' You'd better hurry up, Dad. It looks hungry. :'''Yar''': Hmph! ''[looks at baby Aladar. Baby Aladar comes and looks at him with droopy eyelids. He closes his eyes and sighs, defeated. He hears a strange sound and opens his eyes to see that baby Aladar is peeing on him. Disgusted, defeated; handling Aladar back to Plio]'' Rmmm...Here. :'''Plio''': ''[smiling]'' It's okay. We'll teach him to hate meat. :'''Yar''': Hmph. Watch his head! ''[Plio looks up]'' I-I mean, watch it! he could bite. ''[walks away]'' :''[Other lemurs, including Zini, leap up to Baby Aladar]'' :'''Young Zini:''' This "monster's" got no teeth! What's he gonna do? Gum us to death? :'''Plio:''' Zini, come on: look at that sweet little face. Does that look like a monster to you? <hr width="50%"/> :''[Years later, Suri and other lemur children are chased by the grown-up Aladar for fun]'' :'''Suri''': Let me out! Let me out! ''[inside Aladar's mouth; he spits her into the thicket]'' :'''Aladar''': ''[coughs]'' Hairball! ''[coughs]'' :'''Suri''': That was great! Get him! :'''Aladar''': ''[lemur children start tickling him]'' Oh, no! Attacking lemurs! Suri, please! I can't take it! There are too many of you! Come on! Pick on someone your own size! Help! ''[Plio looks on, laughing]'' Augh! Augh! Augh! Ahhhh. ''[playing dead]'' :'''Suri''': Aladar? you're not dead. :'''Aladar''': ''[suddenly]'' No! :''[Suri and company laugh]'' :'''Plio''': All right, guys, break it up. Remember the courtship? You gonna miss seeing all that smooching. :'''Suri''': Aw, Mom. :'''Aladar''': That's okay, Plio. We can smooch right here. ''[blows kisses; Suri and her friends leap away]'' :'''Plio''': ''[sarcastically]'' Heh. It's a shame you don't like kids. :'''Aladar''': ''[sarcastically]'' Ugh. Nasty little vermin. :'''Plio''': ''[sarcastically]'' Ha-ha. Go find Zini. He's rehearing pickup lines. Let's hope he's find found some new material. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Zini''': ''[rehearsing]'' "Hey, sweetie. If you'll be my bride, I'll groom ya." That is good. Oh, that's good. "Girls, I'm known as the 'professor of love' and school's in session." Yeah, I still got it. :'''Aladar''': ''[walks up to him]'' I hope it's not contagious. :'''Zini''': I'm a raging epidemic of romance. :'''Aladar''': ''[chuckles]'' Come on, hot stuff. Let's get goin': you don't wanna to miss Yar's annual pep talk. :'''Zini''': Oh goody: I can't wait to hear the mating advice of an old monkey. :'''Aladar''': Hey-hey-hey, I heard that in this day, that old monkey was quite a swinger. :'''Zini''': You takin' about ''Yar?'' :'''Aladar''': Yeah! To hear him tell it, he put the "prime" in "[[primate]]". :'''Zini''': ''[sarcastically]'' Really? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Yar''': ''[both are giving mating advice, Yar to the males, Plio to the females]'' Okay, boys, gather around: listen and learn from the Master. :'''Plio''': Now girls, don't jump into the trees after the first boy with a cute back-flip: it's more fun if you keep them guessing. :'''Yar''': And if a cute back-flip doesn't work, guess. :'''Plio''': You're never going to forget this day, so make it one to remember. :'''Yar''': But if you mess up, don't worry: they'll never remember. :'''Aladar''': Come on, guys! We don't wanna let 'em down! :'''Yar''': Go on, now. Chest up! Chin up! :'''Male Lemur''': Whoo! :'''Yar''': ''[to Aladar]'' Make 'em look good, son. :'''Aladar''': Come on, Yar. My charm, and your brains? No problem. ''[Yar laughs. Aladar has male courting lemurs on his back and escorts them to the tree]'' Hey girls, look what just pulled into town. :'''Male Lemur''': Hey, ladies! :'''Aladar''': Your buffet table of love! :''[The female lemurs laugh]'' :'''Male Lemurs''': Right here! Right here! Hey, beautiful! :'''Zini''': Hey, free samples! Get me while I'm hot! Whoa! ''[grabs Aladar's tail and chuckles]'' :'''Suri''': Zini. ''[laughs]'' :''[The males are courting in the tree]'' :'''Zini''': Whoo! Wah-hoo! :''[Plio, Yar, Zini, Suri trill, and Aladar bellows. Zini falls on the bush. Suri laughing at him. The male Lemurs jump out of the tree, in the vines swinging around, Zini trying sticks the branches, Aladar take a little branch to help Zini and throws him over the vine]'' :'''Aladar''': You're missin' all the action, pal. Come on! :'''Zini''': Hey, haven't you heard? I am the action! WHOO! Whoo-ah! :''[The female lemurs climb the vines. Every lemur ends up finding a mate except Zini, who snags his feet on a vine before he could even swing forward.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[By the time he unsticks himself, all the female lemurs have left, much to his disappointment. Aladar tries to comfort Zini, who seems to take it okay and believes he will get another chance at finding girls]'' :'''Aladar''': Ah, don't worry, Zini. You'll always have next year. :'''Zini''': Hey, I'm lucky to be rid of them. With the ladies, before you know it, they all wanna move to a bigger tree. :'''Yar''': ''[to Plio]'' Ah well. Poor Zini. The clan still has one bachelor. :'''Plio''': No. We have two. ''[to Aladar]'' Well, it's never been his best event. :'''Aladar''': He's got a tougher hide than mine. :'''Plio''': Oh, Aladar. If only there were someone on the island for you. You know; who looks like you, but prettier. :'''Aladar''': Come on, Plio. What more could I want? ''[There seen a fireballs in the sky]'' Whoa! :''[Aladar look at the fireballs in the sky, as Pilo, Yar and Suri watching in the sky. as Aladar look up the sky, Suri come and look at Aladar, but it know are coming]'' :'''Suri''': What are they? :'''Aladar''': I don't know. :''[Suri up in the tree to take a look, a fireballs falls out in the skies there minions tons of them. Zini watching over us, Plio and Yar hearing these fireballs past to it. Plio look for a flock of Ichthyornis in the skies; Yar sniffing]'' :'''Plio''': Dad? :'''Yar''': ''[about the asteroid]'' Something wrong. :'''Plio''': ''[to Aladar]'' Aladar, where's Suri? :'''Aladar''': ''[about Suri]'' She's up in the...tree. :''[Plio is present when an asteroid falls from the sky and then strikes to it, causing violent tremors. But still it hard blow the lemur's island]'' :'''Plio''': COME ON! Go, go! COME ON! :'''Suri''': ''[off-screen]'' Mom! :'''Plio''': Suri! :'''Suri''': ''[crying for help after observing the disaster]'' Mom!! Mom!!! :'''Aladar''': Suri! :'''Suri''': ''[off-screen]'' ''Mom!'' :'''Aladar''': Suri, where are you?! :''[Plio want to find and save Suri in the tree, and she back down to Aladar]'' :'''Plio:''' ''[Frantically after asteriod strikes]'' Run, Aladar! ''Run!'' '''Run!''' :''[Many fireballs soon start falling, and Aladar runs with the lemurs]'' :'''Aladar:''' Yar, Come on! :'''Plio:''' Zini! :'''Aladar:''' ZINI! :'''Plio:''' Jump! :'''Aladar:''' JUMP! :'''Plio:''' JUMP! ''[Zini getting chased by Asteriod in the island and jump, but Plio grabs a hand to him]'' Hold on! :''[as the fireballs, we're getting by destroyed by the lemur island. Aladar, Plio, Yar, Zini and Suri chased by asteroid; but then look down the cliff. He turns around to see the massive cloud of fire barreling towards him. He quickly jumps into the sea as the cloud passes over. Aladar and his lemur family swim to the mainland, only to find out that it was also devastated by the asteroid]'' :'''Aladar''': ''[coughs]'' Plio! Yar! Where are you?! ''[coughs]'' :'''Plio''': Aladar, over here! :''[as Aladar trying to save the lemurs by the asteriod, the waves gathering. Yar coughing, Aladar sighing, are the fires diaster. They all turn back to the island to see that it completely destroyed, the flames from the island illuminating it in an orange glow. Suri goes up to the edge of the mainland and calls out to the island, trying to hear if anyone on the island survived, but she gets no response. Suri weeps, as she realizes that everyone on the island is gone, and Aladar bellows a similar mournful roar. Plio comforts her daughter]'' :'''Plio''': Oh, Suri. Easy, easy. ''[give it hug to Suri]'' :''[after a asteroid devastates Lemur Island]'' :'''Suri''': ''[crying]'' They're all gone. :'''Plio''': Shh, shh. I'm right here. :''[Suri crying]'' :'''Aladar''': Come on. We can't stay here. :''[With that, they climb onto Aladar, who looks one last time at the island, the birds are flying in the skies, that was once his and his family's home before turning around and walking off.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Aladar and his closest family in the desert; suri stills cries on Aladar's back]'' :'''Yar''': Now, now, Suri. There's nothing to be afraid of. :'''Zini''': ''[to hearing noise calling]'' LOOK! :'''Yar''': Ah! :'''Aladar''': Whoa! ''[velociraptor runs off]'' Do you see that? :'''Yar''': What? :'''Zini''': I did. :'''Suri''': Me too! :'''Plio''': Where did it go? :'''Aladar''': I don't know. Let's go see. :'''Yar''': Leave it alone. Hey! :'''Plio''': Shh, Dad! :'''Yar''': It-It's 'scaring' Suri. :'''Suri''': No, it's not. :'''Aladar''': Everyone just be quiet. :''[as Aladar and the lemurs walk through the barren wasteland, they see a ''[[w:velociraptor|velociraptor,]]'' he looks curious on what it is and decide to check it out. When they find it, the raptor snarls at them. and soon seven others appear and start chasing them. The velociraptor jumps on Aladar and bites him on the side, and he roars of pain, the other Velociraptor jumps and snap it to Yar in the Aladar's back while he falls down]'' :'''Plio''': Yar, grab on! :'''Yar''': I can't ''reach!'' :''[as Yar grab his Plio's hand to it, when velociraptor jumps and climbs and tries eats it snap to him it misses. until it jumps back the pack of velociraptors, and Aladar escapes from the raptors]'' :'''Plio''': Aladar, they're stopping! :'''Aladar''': ''[Then soon, the raptors ran away when the surviving dinosaur herd appears]'' Huh? :''[Aladar led the Kron, came by]'' :'''Kron:''' ''[his first words after he knocks Aladar down] Stay out of my way!'' :'''Bruton:''' ''[his first words]'' You heard Kron! MOVE IT!! :''[Aladar sees a dinosaur herd walking past him, then sees baby iguanodons walking under him]'' :'''Neera''': ''[bumps into Aladar]'' Watch it! :''[As Aladar looks at Neera, he sees a Pachyrhinosaurus that walks into him with its nasal horn, knocking him to the ground, then a pack of Microceratops jump over him and the lemurs]'' :'''Yar''': Zini, get your head down! ''[sees Baylene, a brachiosaur; she strides over him]'' :'''Eema''': ''[walking by]'' Walkin' backward, huh? Well, let me know if that gets you there any faster! Keep those little legs moving, Url, or you'll get left behind! :'''Suri''': Look at all the Aladars! :'''Yar''': If you're even thinking of joining up... :''[the Velociraptors snarl from behind]'' :'''Aladar''': Hang on! ''[catches up with Baylene]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Soon after, they encounter of a herd of various dinosaurs (Iguanodons, Parasaurolophus, Styracosaurus, Pachyrhinosaurus, Microceratus, ''[[w:Struthiominus|Struthiominus,]]'' and ''[[w:Stygimoloch|Stygimoloch.)]]'' It led by Kron as each other]'' :'''Bruton''': Kron, There is a more protected spot further down the-- :'''Kron''': We'll rest here for the night. Go ahead, Bruton. :''[Bruton shows a bellow roars at the herd, as Aladar walking towards the herd]'' :'''Baylene''': Oh, Eema! I wish we were at your nesting grounds now! All this pushing and shoving about, just for a place to sleep! I'm not used to this kind of behavior. :'''Eema''': Baylene, you've got big feet; just give 'em a kick! ''[shoves a stygimoloch]'' GET! :'''Baylene''': Oh, I couldn't possibly... eh, shoo! Shoo! :'''Eema''': Would you come on, Baylene? If you wanna get to the nesting grounds alive, show some backbone! :'''Aladar''': Hey there! :'''Eema''': Ahhh! :'''Aladar''': ''[after spooking Eema]'' Oh... sorry about that. Uh, it's just that, we overhead you talking and, umm... :''[Url drops a rock enthusiastically at his feet just like a dog, Aladar looks confused]'' :'''Eema''': Well, my word. Look at Url. He doesn't normally warm up to strangers so fast. :'''Baylene''': ''[Sniffing the lemurs on Aladar's back and sneezing to lemurs]'' What an unfortunate blemish. :'''Eema''': Good mud bath would clear those right up. :'''Yar''': ''Excuse'' me? :''[Eema growls in surprise]'' :'''Aladar''': Um, he's my grandfather. ''[chuckles]'' Couple of times removed. :'''Zini''': Or a couple of ''species'' removed. :'''Aladar''': My name's Aladar. This is my family. We're all that's left. :'''Baylene''': Oh, dear. I'm so sorry. :'''Eema''': Baylene's the last of her kind. Finding stragglers like her all along the way! :'''Plio''': I heard you say something about "Nesting Grounds". :'''Eema''': It is the most beautiful place there is, child. It's where the herd goes to have their babies. :'''Suri''': Will we find anybody that looks...like us there? :'''Eema''': Oh, the last few days, I've seen 'em all shapes and sizes. Who knows what we'll find? The hard job now is just ''getting'' there. :'''Baylene''': And we're being driven unmercifully. :'''Aladar''': By who? :'''Eema''': Kron, the herd's head honcho. :'''Baylene''': We can hardly keep up. An older woman like myself, it's...well, it's positively indecent. :'''Aladar''': Then tell him! What's the worst he can do? ''[Neera, Kron, and Bruton approach; Url nervously walks out of the way; Bruton growls; Kron rudely pushes past]'' Hey! What's ''his'' problem? :'''Eema''': That's him, honey, Kron. :'''Aladar''': ''[runs up to Kron]'' Huh. Excuse me! Kron! Got a second? :'''Bruton:''' Get lost kid! :'''Kron:''' ''[chuckles]'' Relax Bruton. ''[comes up to Aladar]'' Who are you? :'''Aladar:''' Uh...Aladar. :'''Kron:''' Why aren't you up here with the— ''[notices the lemurs on Aladar's back]'' ...uh, young bloods? ''[snorts at them]'' :'''Aladar:''' Well, I was back here talking to these guys. I guess they're having a hard time keeping up. So, you know, maybe you could slow down a bit? :''[Neera chuckles and smiles]'' :'''Kron''': Hmm! Let the weak set the pace. Now, ''there's'' an idea. Better let me do the thinking from now on, Aladar. :'''Aladar''': Hey! They need help back here! :'''Kron''': Watch yourself, boy. ''[leaves with a dismissive snort]'' :'''Neera''': Don't worry. That's how my brother treats newcomers… no matter how charming they are. ''[follows Kron away]'' :'''Zini''': ''[to Aladar]'' You sure know how to catch a girl's [[eye]] there, stud! :'''Eema''': I wouldn't be catching nobody's eye if I was you. Especially Neera's. You just keep your head down, and you mind what Kron tells you. :'''Yar''': Since when do we take orders from the likes of him?! :'''Eema''': ''[chuckles]'' Kron has swatted flies bigger than you, pops. :'''Yar''': I could hold that monster's ''brain'' in the ''palm'' of my-! :'''Aladar''': No, Yar, she's right. Better to keep our heads down with this bunch than get 'em bitten off by ''those'' things. :'''Eema''': ''[The velociraptors hissing]'' Well, you just consider yourself lucky that's ''all'' that's following us. :''[When velociraptors playing fighting biting each other but the raptor stop fighting, and furious looking an scaring eye behind to it]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Later, The herd of dinosaurs sleeping on at night, but after that, the sun will rises up in the desert, the herd waking up in the morning to time to moving on. Zini looks find Aladar and his friends are sleeping over in the desert.]'' :'''Zini''': ''[Aladar snoring]'' Hey wake up, enough with the beauty sleep! You're ravishing already! ''[Aladar snoring again, he looks confused and checking open Aladar's eye, sarcastically]'' Hey! Hello! Anybody in there? :'''Aladar''': ''[Get up and swoop Zini into his nostril]'' Zini, what are you ''doing?'' :'''Zini''': I believe you left a wake-up call for the dawn of time. COME ON! Move it! :'''Aladar''': What's the hurry? :'''Zini''': Something's up. The herd's gathering without us. Let's check it out. :'''Bruton''': Rise and shine! Kron says everybody goes. ''[trying to Iguanodon's stomach, and up in the feet]'' Come on, get up! On your feet! :'''Zini''': ''[looks joking]'' Heh. The charm never stops around here. :'''Bruton''': ''[looks confused to Aladar]'' You saying something? :'''Aladar''': Uh, no, no, sir. :''[Bruton walking towards to Aladar around, angoring sensing on each side around in the herd]'' :'''Bruton''': Unless you got a ''death'' wish, you and that little ''parasite'' better get MOVING! :'''Zini''': ''[sarcastically; about Bruton]'' Sheesh! Is that guy ugly or what? Hey, hey, hey, ''[to Neera]'' there's your girlfriend. :'''Aladar''': What are you takin' about? :'''Zini''': You know what I'm takin' about: Neera. ''[about Neera]'' Scaly skin, Yellow eyes. Big ankles. :'''Aladar''': Yeah, I made a real I'm on her. :'''Zini''': ''[whilst combing his head back with his head]'' What you need is a little help from the 'love monkey.' :'''Aladar''': The 'love monkey?' :'''Zini''': Ow! Baby! ''[calling howling out to Neera and the 2 iguandon children]'' :''[Aladar nervously laughs]'' :'''Neera''': ''[About Aladar]'' That, children, is what's known as a jerkasaurus. :'''Zini''': And with that, the ice is broken. :''[When Aladar turning around the herd, Bruton makes the distinctive bellowing roar (the sound that no other dinosaur makes in the movie) with the herd, suddenly, Kron's make attention in the desert]'' :'''Kron''': We've got a lot of first-timers here. Make sure they get it. We stop for nothing, and no one. :''[Silence to the herd]'' :'''Bruton''': ''[turns to herd]'' If this is your first crossing, listen up. There is ''no'' water till we reach the other side. And you'd better keep up, 'cause if a predator catches you, you're on your own. Move out! :''[Bruton head out the herd to start moving. Kron and the herd vision walking cross the desert]'' :'''Baylene''': Oh, my goodness. It looks like a very long walk. :'''Eema''': And hot. If you smell somethin' sizzlin', it could be me. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Kron''': We're moving too slow. :'''Bruton''': I'll pick up the pace. ''[Bruton makes the distinctive bellowing roar (no other dinosaur in the movie makes a sound that the Iguanodons make) to keep moving out]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Yar''': Hey, old girl, you're wandering off a bit. :'''Eema''': ''[panting]'' That's all I need: a monkey on my back. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Eema panting]'' :'''Aladar''': ''[helps Eema get back up]'' On your feet, Eema. We can't let those things eat you. They're out there waiting. :''[Dawn: the Velociraptors are still feeding on the Struthiomimid, when they notice the Carnotaurs and flee]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[The next day as the herd is traveling to get to the lake, Kron tells his second-in-command, Bruton, to give orders that the herd must keep up because if a predator catches anyone, they're on their own.] :'''Eema''': The lake! :'''Yar''': We made it? :'''Eema''': It's just over that... that hill, baby. :'''Baylene''': Oh, thank goodness. :'''Aladar''': Come on, Eema. Water, remember water? :'''Eema''': Oh, it's time to refresh my memory. ''[Kron drives the herd unmercifully across the hot sunny desert, losing a couple of members in the process, until they finally reach the lake]'' I'm just gonna walk right into that lake until the water's up to my eyeballs and soak it all in. ''[sighs]'' :''[a discover that lake a skeleton dinosaur is a dryed with no water]'' :'''Bruton''': Maybe the rains collected somewhere else. What do you want us to do? :'''Kron''': Take a scout and check the entire perimeter. ''[Bruton to take scout and check the entire perimeter to see if there's any water. a two iguanodon children turns face to Kron]'' ENOUGH! You have to be strong now! The ''nesting grounds'' are only a few days away! KEEP MOVING! :'''Neera''': Kron, we've never gone this far without water: if we keep going like this, we'll lose half the herd. :'''Kron''': Then we save the half that deserves to live. ''[distinctive Iguanodon bellowing roars at herd]'' :'''Baylene''': What? They're moving already? Oh-ho, we'll never keep up. :'''Eema''': There was water here, always water here before. We always had water, always, and... plenty of mud. ''[coughs]'' :'''Baylene''': Oh, Eema, please. The herd won't wait, we must carry on. :'''Aladar''': You gotta get up! :''[Baylene walks rumble]'' :'''Eema''': There was water everywhere. :'''Baylene''': There is no water, dear. :''[as Baylene walks comfort her, Aladar hears something rumble under her feet]'' :'''Aladar''': Baylene, don't move. :'''Baylene''': Oh, what is it? What's wrong? :'''Zini''': ''[as Baylene rumbling her feet above the water]'' Did you hear that? :'''Aladar''': I sure do. Lift your foot, Baylene. :''[She lifts her foot, and Aladar and Zini dig a hole under it]'' :'''Zini''': Ooh! :''[Eema coughs]'' :'''Aladar''': Now press down. :''[Baylene press down, and her titanic size has unearthed the water]'' :'''Zini''': I always did like big girls! :'''Aladar''': Water! :'''Baylene''': Oh, my goodness! :'''Aladar''': ''[makes the distinctive Iguanodon roar to get the herd's attention and calling out the Neera and Kron]'' Water! Come on! :'''Neera''': He found water. :''[Aladar dig a hole to found a water]'' :'''Baylene''': That's it, Eema. Come drink. :''[The others help Eema to drinking a water in the hole, soon, the friends drink, until Kron charges off in the desert]'' :'''Aladar''': Kron, look, all we had to do is dig, and-- :'''Kron''': Good. Now, get out of the way. :''[Kron pushes his way into it while roaring and drinks the water for himself, showing no mercy for the herd charges it]'' :'''Aladar''': Wait! Wait! There's enough for everyone! Ah! :'''Eema''': Ooh! :'''Aladar''': Eema! ''[as he is pushed by the thristy herd trying to make their way to the water; sarcastically]'' That's it! Keep pushing and... ''[he gets shoved to Parasaurolophus]'' Shoving! That's very helpful. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Bruton and the scout find no water on their search to them]'' :'''Scout''': Bruton, we've been walking in circles. There's no water here. I think we should get back. :'''Bruton''': Shh. Keep it down. ''[Then Bruton spots a shadow of a Carnotaurus]'' Let's get out of here. :''[a Carnotaurus appears from behind and grabs the scout by the tail, killing him. Then another Carnotaurus appears and tries to kill Bruton, but he manages to escape with wounds. The Carnotaurus eats him, and the other Carnotaurus escape it to him]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[One early morning, the friends and the herd sleeps in the desert, Suri tries to ask some timid young Iguanodons to come out on the count of three. Aladar notices and manages to persuade them by convincing them that Suri is harmless]'' :'''Suri''': Now, you come out on 3. 1...2...3! Come on, come on out. No one's gonna hurt you. :'''Aladar''': Hey, hey. What's going on? :'''Suri''': The "little Aladars" haven't had anything to drink. I think they're scared of me. :'''Aladar''': Well, who wouldn't be? You are pretty scary. ''[to the young iguanodons]'' Come on! Take it easy! She's just a hairball. :'''Suri''': And proud of it! Come on; he's going to find you some water! :'''Aladar''': Just dig and press... ''[the young iguanodons fight]'' come on! Let's have a little teamwork. Let's work together a bit. There: just take a foot, and press... ''[All three do so, and water fills the waterhole]''. Good job, Suri. ''[to the young iguanodons]'' So, where're your parents anyway? :'''Neera''': A lot of us are on our own now. ''[beat]''. You like kids, I see. :'''Aladar''': Well, the skinny ones can be a little chewy. ''[both laugh. Beat]''. I'm Aladar... the;–– jerkasaurus. :'''Neera''': Oh! Sorry, about that. :'''Aladar''': You're probably right. :'''Neera''': Why did you help that old one? :'''Aladar''': What else could we do? Leave her behind? Oh! You mean you'd actually;––?! :'''Neera''': Well, that happens all the time... you don't survive if you're not... :'''Aladar''': Strong enough? :'''Neera''': Yeah. :'''Aladar''': Is that you talking? Or your brother? :'''Neera''': Everything's so different... I don't know what to think anymore. :'''Aladar''': Look, Neera, if we all watch out for each other, we all have a chance of getting to your Nesting Grounds. :'''Neera''': You sound so sure. :'''Aladar''': I'm not! But it's all I know. So, water! I'll get you some water. ''[digs]'' :'''Neera''': Can I try? :'''Aladar''': Sure! Just - press! :''[She does. As she bends to drink, their heads knock together]'' :'''Neera''': Oh, sorry. :'''Aladar''': No, you first. :'''Yar''': One down, and... well, one down. <hr width="50%"/> :''[After Bruton narrowly escapes the Carnotaurs]'' :'''Bruton''': Kron! Carnotaurs! :'''Kron''': ''[confused and disturbed]'' What? They never come this far north! :'''Bruton:''' The fireball must have driven them out. :'''Kron:''' ''[overhears the Carnotaurs roaring]'' '''You've led them right to us!''' '''''MAYBE YOU CAN FEED THEM WITH YOUR HIDE!''''' Move the herd out, double time! :''[Bruton roars for the herd to Leave as Aladar & Neera notice this]'' :'''Aladar:''' What's happening? :'''Neera:''' My brother's moving the herd. Kron! What's going on? :'''Kron:''' Carnotaurs. If we don't keep moving, they'll catch up to us. :'''Aladar:''' But the others in the back, they'll never make it. :'''Kron:''' They'll slow down the predators. :'''Aladar:''' ''You can't sacrifice them like this!'' ''[calls out to the herd]'' HOLD IT! THAT COULD BE YOU BACK THERE, OR YOU! :'''Kron:''' ''[smacks Aladar down to the ground]'' If you ever interfere again, I'll kill you. ''[begins to walk away, but notices Neera approaching Aladar]'' STAY AWAY FROM HIM! ''[pushes Neera away from Aladar, who growls in anger]'' :'''Neera:''' Aladar, no! You just - Just go. I'll be okay. :'''Aladar:''' ''[runs back to warn Baylene, Eema, Url, and the lemurs]'' Let's go! Let's go! Carnotaurs! :'''Yar''': Carno-what? :'''Eema''': Carnotaur! A mouth full of teeth with a bad attitude! Let's go! :'''Aladar''': Come on, you guys, get on, get on! We're gonna get left behind! ''[starts running for the herd]'' Let's go! Hurry up! We're losing them! :'''Plio''': Aladar, slow down! :''[Aladar stops and looks behind to see Baylene and Eema struggling to follow. Then he turns to see Neera, Kron, and the rest of the herd leaving without them. Aladar chooses to stay with Baylene and Eema to ensure their survival]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Baylene''': Oh, joy. Blisters! :'''Eema''': I got blisters ON my blisters. :'''Yar''': You don't wanna know where ''I'' got blisters... ''[hears a bellow]'' :'''Eema''': What was that? :'''Baylene''': It came from up ahead. :'''Zini''': Okay, what's the worst thing it could be? :'''Suri''': ''[fearfully]'' A Carnotaur. :'''Zini''': ''[nervous]'' Okay, what's the second worst thing it could be? :'''Baylene''': TWO Carnotaurs! ''[shudders]'' Oh my goodness! O my goodness! :'''Eema''': That's it! I'm gone! :'''Aladar''': Everybody! We don't know for sure! It could be the herd. Let's check it out. :''[They turn the corner to find Bruton, exhausted]'' :'''Eema''': Oh, it's Bruton! :'''Baylene''': It appears we weren't the only ones left behind. :'''Aladar''': What happened? :'''Eema''': Carnotaurs. We should keep moving. :'''Plio''': We can't just leave him here! :'''Eema''': We can if we move fast enough! :'''Aladar''': ''[to Bruton]'' Hey, you don't look so good. Let me help me you. :'''Bruton''': Save your pity. I just need some rest. Now, get away from me! :'''Aladar''': Suit yourself. ''[hears thunder and sees Url with a stalactite in his mouth, moving towards a cave]'' If you change your mind, we'll be in those caves. <hr width="50%"/> :''[they enter the cave]'' :'''Aladar''': It's dark, but at least it's dry. :'''Eema''': I like dry. It's the dark part I'm having trouble with. ''[accidentally steps on Url's spikes]'' OWW! Sorry, Url. Sturdy li'l thing, ain't he? :''[Aladar chuckles]'' :'''Baylene''': Ahem. We appear to have a visitor. :''[They see Bruton limping outside the cave in the rain. He falls; Aladar approaches him]'' :'''Aladar''': You coming in or what? :'''Bruton''': What is it with you? :'''Aladar''': At least I know enough to get in out of the rain. Now, come on. On your feet. ''[helps Bruton up and guides him into the cave]'' Uh, you can lie down with us. It's warmer. :''[Bruton lies down in a corner of the cave by himself]'' :'''Baylene''': May I remind you that he's one of them? :'''Aladar''': Well, looks like he's one of us now. ''[goes to lie down with the others]'' :'''Eema''': Who booked this trip anyway? :'''Aladar''': Ah, you'll be at the Nesting Grounds soon enough. :'''Eema''': Well, when I get there, I'm gonna give Kron a piece of my mind. :'''Aladar''': You tell him, Eema. :''[Url lies on his back and falls asleep]''. :'''Yar''': If I could sleep that deep, I'd be in paradise. :'''Eema''': If you could sleep ''that'' deep, honey, you'd be dead. :'''Plio''': ''[leaps towards Bruton with a special plant in her hands]'' This plant grew on our island. It will make you feel better. ''[takes some of the plant's juice and sprinkles it on Bruton's wounds]'' :'''Bruton''': ''[winces in pain; nods at Aladar]'' Why is he doing this? Pushing them on with false [[hope]]? :'''Plio''': It's hope that's gotten us this far. :'''Bruton''': But why doesn't he let them accept their [[fate]]? I've accepted mine. :'''Plio''': And what ''is'' your fate? :'''Bruton''': To die here. It's the way things are. :'''Plio''': Only if you give up, Bruton. It's your ''[[choice]]'', not your fate. Well, the plant will help. ''[leaps away; Bruton takes the plant]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[The footsteps of the Carnotaurs awaken Aladar; he looks out and gazes in surprise at them; Bruton quietly comes up to him]'' :'''Bruton''': ''[whispering]'' Shh. Carnotaurs. :'''Aladar''': ''[whispering]'' What do we do? :'''Bruton''': Wake the others. :''[The Carnotaurs move closer to the cave. Bruton, Eema, Baylene, and the lemurs proceed deeper into the cave. Aladar nudges Url to wake him up; he bellows in fright, and Aladar immediately silences him; the Carnotaurs look up briefly and then continue looking around]'' :'''Baylene:''' Oh! ''[her neck touches the ceiling, causing a rock to fall and hit Eema]'' :''[Aladar attempts to catch it, without success; one of the Carnotaurs examines the rock and sticks its snout through the water and sniffs Aladar before a thunderclap illuminates him; the Carnotaur charges at him]'' :'''Aladar:''' Go! Go! Hurry! Move it, Eema! ''[the Carnotaur grabs him by the tail and drags him back]'' :'''Plio:''' Aladar! Aladar! :''[The Carnotaurs fight over Aladar]'' :'''Bruton:''' ''[leaps into the fray; last words]'' I'll hold them off! You help the others! ''[crashes purposely into the stone columns supporting the roof; he and one of the Carnotaurs are buried]'' :'''Aladar:''' Bruton! ''[He comes back and tries to help Bruton, but the rocks fall on Bruton before he can]'' Bruton! No!! ''[Coughs]'' Bruton! :'''Plio:''' ''[to Aladar]'' You did what you could. :''[A Carnotaurus distance roars on the rocks; Aladar look at the rocks, who's trying to push a rocks trying to get anger and he's very ugly snarling, is the one Carnotaurus left push out of the rocks; A dead second Carnotaurus, Aladar mouns to death Bruton's sacrifice was not completely in vain, as the other Carnotaurus died with him, the large Carnotaurus survives, however, leaving and roaring in vegngence, before continuing his search for the herd.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[The herd while gathering in the desert, the two iguanodon children panting, but there's one little falls on the ground, the other little one bellowing, Kron still looking at and when keeps moving. The little one was calling but still, the little one trying get up on your feet]'' :'''Neera''': It's okay, little ones. We're going to make it. ''[she help the little one and continue to move the herd]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Aladar, Eema, Url, Baylene and the Lemurs are wandering through the cave. Zini is trying to pass the time by playing "I Spy"] :'''Zini''': Okay, okay, let's do it again, let's do it again. Uh... I spy, with my little eye... :'''Yar''': A rock. :'''Zini''': You got it again! O, you are good. :'''Eema''': Well, I'll tell you what I spy: a dead end. :'''Yar''': What have we done now? :'''Aladar''': I guess we just go back. :'''Zini''': ''[smells something]'' Hang on a moment. :'''Suri''': Zini, what is this? :'''Zini''': You smell that? :'''Suri''': ''[sniffing]'' Yes. :''[Aladar sniffs. Then as Zini pulls out the rocks, we see daylight]'' :'''Eema''': ''[gasps]'' Get a load of that. :'''Baylene''': Nice show. :'''Aladar''': Everybody, stand back. We're outta here! ''[tries to break the rocks, the cave collapses]'' :'''Zini''': '''''RUN!!''''' :'''Suri''': Unh! :'''Eema''': '''''ALADAR, LOOK OUT!!''''' :''[The falling boulders block the daylight]'' :'''Aladar''': '''''No!''''' ''[echoes; tries to break the rocks, but fails]'' :'''Plio''': Aladar, we'll go back. :'''Aladar''': Back to what? It's gone. We're not meant to survive. :'''Baylene''': Oh yes we were! We're here, aren't we? And how dare you waste that good [[fortune]], by simply giving up? Hah, [[shame]] on you! Shame on you! Shame on you! The worst of it is, you allowed an old fool like me to believe I was needed, that I still had a [[purpose]]. And you know what? You were right. And I'm going to keep on believing it. I for one am not willing to die here! ''[rears up and strikes the cave-in again and again]'' :''[The others join in; at length, the wall falls, to reveal a pristine valley beyond]'' :'''Baylene''': Oh my goodness. :'''Eema''': The Nesting Grounds...It's untouched. :'''Plio''': Our new home... :'''Zini''': AND IT COMES WITH A POOL! ''[suri laughing]'' You're lady, you're lady and whooo! :'''Baylene''': Whoo, whoo, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. :'''Zini''': ''[Zini on the Baylene's head]'' CANNONBALL! ''[jump in the lake]'' :'''Baylene''': Ha. Amateur. :'''Zini''': ''[Baylene starts to jumps in the lake, fun waves]'' LOOK OUT BELOW! :''[Url watching Baylene fun waves with Zini]'' :'''Aladar''': Not bad! But I don't get it. Where's the herd? :'''Plio''': ''[sotto voice]'' Not to mention Neera! :'''Eema''': Oh, they'll get here...soon enough. Oh, no! :'''Aladar''': Eema? : '''Eema''': I spoke too soon. : '''Aladar''': What is it? :'''Eema''': That, is the way we used to get in here. ''[indicates a towering pile of stones, blocking an entrance to the valley]'' :'''Aladar''': They'll never make it over that! :'''Eema''': Aladar, wait! Wait! Kron'll eat you alive! :'''Aladar:''' Let him try. ''[runs off]'' :'''Eema:''' ''[sighing]'' I just hope Kron's in a listening mood... <hr width="50%"/> :''[Kron continues up the landslide with the herd; Neera and the two iguanodon children follow.]'' :'''Neera''': Stay here. ''[walks to Kron and sees the landslide]'' We'll find a way around it. :'''Kron''': In the morning, we'll climb it. :''[On his way back in the cave, Aladar sees a dead Stygimoloch. A Carnotaurus eats it; Aladar manages to escape.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Kron''': ''[to the herd]'' We have to keep trying. For our survival, our future is over these rocks. NOW, LET'S GO HOME! ''[the herd starts going over the rocks Kron looks around for someone as an example before seeing the orphans; to the two iguanodon children]'' You'll make it, won't you, boys? ''[starts shoving them with his head]'' :'''Neera:''' ''[to Kron]'' No. :'''Kron:''' Watch them, They're tough! ''[to the herd]'' If they can do it, '''SO CAN YOU!''' :''[The herd hesitates, then continue toward the rocks]'' :'''Aladar''': KRON! ''[they look back as he approaches the herd]'' Get the herd out of here! A Carnotaur's coming! :'''Kron''': ''[to the herd]'' Keep moving! :'''Aladar:''' Stop! I've been to the valley! There's a safer way! :'''Kron''': ''[angrily to the two orphan iguanodon children]'' Go on! Show them!'' [he shoves one of the orphans]'' :'''Neera''': Kron, listen to him! :'''Aladar''': Look, we've got to go now! :'''Kron''': Go where?! Straight to the Carnotaurs?! :'''Aladar''': If we hurry, we can get around them! You can't get over those rocks! There's a sheer drop on the other side! ''[Kron angrily shoves the orphans more]'' YOU'RE GONNA KILL THE HERD! I know a way to the valley, and everybody can make it! ''[to the herd]'' Now, follow me! :''[Kron approaches the herd]'' :'''Neera''': Kron! :'''Kron''': <big>'''THEY'RE STAYING WITH ME!'''</big> :'''Aladar''': ''[to the herd]'' All right let's go! :''[Kron loses his temper and attacks Aladar, who fights back. Kron nearly kills Aladar, but Neera knocks him to the ground and continue towards the valley along with the herd]'' :'''Kron''': ''[shocked, then livid]'' '''''<big>NEERA!!!!</big>''''' ''[she doesn't flinch, he starts climbing over the rocks all by himself, but the carnotaur approaches the herd]'' He's led that monster right to us! This way! ''[continues climbing over the rocks]'' :'''Aladar''': No! Don't move! If we scatter, he'll pick us off! ''[to the herd]'' Stand together! :''[The carnotaur roars at Aladar, who roars back. Neera joins Aladar, along with the herd, forcing the carnotaur to ignore the herd and head towards Kron; Aladar and Neera give chase]'' :'''Neera''': Kron! :''[Kron makes it up to the top, but realizes that the entrance is blocked, and he's cornered]'' :'''Kron''': ''[last words]'' No, no! ''[attacks the carnotaur, who wounds him]'' :''[Aladar, and Neera start fighting with the carnotaur, and Aladar knocks it to its death below. Aladar and Neera walk slowly toward Kron's body]'' :'''Neera''': Kron. :''[Neera nudges Kron's head, but he is already dead. Aladar and Neera embrace each other in sorrow. Later, Aladar, Neera, and the herd head through the cave entrance and finally make it into the valley]'' :'''Aladar''': ''[to Neera]'' Welcome home. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Last lines: Sometime later, the eggs on the nesting grounds, Aladar and Neera become mates and have a nest in the valley]'' :'''Eema''': Move over, everybody! Bringin' in babies is what I do best! :'''Yar''': I'd say it's been a few years since you hatched anything! :''[Both laugh]'' :'''Eema''': You're right. So, let me practice on your head! :'''Plio''': Look! Somebody wants to meet you! ''[to the newborn iguanodon]'' Oh, aren't you the cutest little small-fry I ever did see! :'''Aladar''': Hey, little guy! He looks just like me!. :'''Neera''': Meet your dad. He's not as crazy as he looks. :'''Baylene''': Well done, little one! :'''Yar''': Come 'ere, you little rascal; lemme take a good look at you... ''[the baby pees on him]'' yep. You're your father's son all right. ''[hands the baby over to Plio]'' :'''Zini''': ''[arrives]'' Hey, look what I found! New neighbors! ''[indicates five female lemurs]''. Any of you ladies up for a game of "Monkey in the Middle"? ''[female lemurs playing on him]'' Easy, now! Easy! Hey! :''[The lemurs laughing, Aladar bellows in joy, followed by Neera, Eema, Baylene, and finally the whole herd of surviving dinosaurs.]'' :'''Plio''': ''[closing narration]'' And so, None of us we know what changes, big and small, lie ahead. One thing is certain; our journey's not over. We can only hope that, in some small way, our time here will be remembered. ==Taglines== * Discover a world you've only imagined ==Voice cast== * [[w:D.B. Sweeney|D.B. Sweeney]] as Aladar the [[w:Iguanodon|Iguanodon]] * [[w:Alfre Woodard|Alfre Woodard]] as Pilo the [[w:Archaeolemur|Lemur]] * [[w:Ossie Davis|Ossie Davis]] as Yar the [[w:Archaeolemur|Lemur]] * [[w:Max Casella|Max Casella]] as Zini the [[w:Archaeolemur|Lemur]] * [[w:Hayden Panettiere|Hayden Panettiere]] as Suri the [[w:Archaeolemur|Lemur]] * [[w:Samuel E. Wright|Samuel E. Wright]] as Kron the [[w:Iguanodon|Iguanodon]] * [[w:Julianna Margulies|Julianna Margulies]] as Neera the [[w:Iguanodon|Iguanodon]] * Peter Siragusa as Bruton the [[w:Iguanodon|Iguanodon]] * [[w:Joan Plowright|Joan Plowright]] as Baylene the [[w:Brachiosaurus|Brachiosaurus]] * [[w:Della Reese|Della Reese]] as Eema the [[w:Styracosaurus|Styracosaurus]] == External links == {{Wikipedia|Dinosaur (2000 film)}} *{{IMDb title|0130623}} {{Authority control}} [[Category:2000 computer-animated films]] [[Category:2000 American animated films]] [[Category:American computer-animated films]] [[Category:American children's animated adventure films]] [[Category:American children's animated science fantasy films]] [[Category:Animated films about dinosaurs]] [[Category:American films with live action and animation]] [[Category:The Walt Disney Company]] rxmhm2bvcknh0977gsoclrs356bnnc8 0 106790 3942090 3879102 2026-05-17T15:45:31Z ~2026-21905-50 3309465 /* 2022 */ 3942090 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:SummerSlam|SummerSlam]]''' is a [[w:WWE|WWE]] [[w:Pay Per View|Pay Per View]] held every August since 1988. It is regarded as the second biggest show of the year behind [[w:WrestleMania|WrestleMania]]. The first SummerSlam was held August 29, 1988 at [[w:Madison Square Garden|Madison Square Garden]]. == [[w:SummerSlam (1988)|1988]] == :'''Howard Finkel''': Ladies and gentlemen...our opening contest is a tag team bout, scheduled for one fall. Currently in the ring to my left, hailing from Montreal, Quebec, Canada, but SOON to relocate in the United States, at a total combined weight of 474 lbs...here are Jacques and Raymond, the Fabulous Rougeau Brothers. <hr width=50%/> :'''Honky Tonk Man''' : Get me somebody out here to wrestle, I don't care who it is. :'''Superstar Billy Graham''' : Ho ho ho. Don't say that, my man. There are some people in that locker room who would take this man apart. :'''Gorilla Monsoon''': We're all waiting here with anticipation as for who the opponent will be. Well, maybe we haven't got an opponent. :'''Billy''': Well, maybe we have an opponent, or maybe he's still lacing up his boots. Who knows, man. :'''Gorilla''': ''[as familiar theme music plays]'' Wait a minute, wait a minute. Somebody's music. :'''Billy''': That's familiar music, brother! :'''Gorilla''': They've exploded here in the Garden! I don't see anybody yet! :'''Howard''': ''[as the Ultimate Warrior runs to the ring and goes right after the Honky Tonk Man]'' Here is the challenger, weighing... :''[Howard jumps out as the match begins]'' :'''Gorilla''': It's the Ultimate Warrior! :'''Billy''': One man on the attack! :'''Gorilla''': This place has gone bananas! <hr width=50%> :'''Gorilla''': Ultimate Warrior exploding here on the Honky Tonk Man. Beautiful flying tackle. The bell has gone and it's officially underway. :'''Billy''': Warrior doesn't know what to do, he's so excited! :''[Warrior knocks Honky Tonk Man down]'' :'''Gorilla''': The title definitely up for grabs here. :'''Billy''': Oh, we could get a new champion right now, Gorilla Monsoon! Right now, brother, we could get a new champion! :'''Gorilla''': ''[as Warrior hits a splash]'' Big splash here, hooks the leg... ''[Dave Hebner counts to three]'' It's over! History has been made here! :'''Billy''': I love it! I love it! :'''Gorilla''': Look at this place gone bananas! :'''Billy''': Pandemonium is running wild in Madison Square Garden, my man! :'''Gorilla''': History once again made here in Madison Square Garden! :'''Howard''': The winner of this contest...and NEW Intercontinental Champion: The Ultimate Warrior! <hr width=50%/> :'''Sean Mooney''': It is a different story here in the locker room of the Ultimate Warrior, the new Intercontinental Champion, and Warrior, you are now a champion in the World Wrestling Federation. :'''Ultimate Warrior''': Honky Tonk Man, you thought it was like something out of a comic book, brother, but we're talking about real life! I was sitting in Parts Unknown waiting for the next spaceship to higher planes, and the lightning bolts came down from the sky, and the warriors spoke! They said "make it to the Garden." Well, the Ultimate Warrior showed, and Honky Tonk Man, you gave the challenge, and the Ultimate Warrior and the little Warriors with all the painted faces rose to the challenge, and they conquered! I'm taking all the little Warriors through all the darkness and the pain! And Honky Tonk Man, if you want a piece of me, or anybody thinks they can take on the Warriors, I'm not hard to find. I'll be on the next spaceship to Parts Un...KNOWN!!! == [[w:SummerSlam (1989)|1989]] == [Mean Gene is set to conduct an interview with Ravishing Rick Rude and Bobby Heenan] :'''Mean Gene Okerlund''': Gentlemen, as you know the Ultimate Warrior-- ''(the SummerSlam sign falls off behind them.)'' :'''Vince McMahon''': Nice move. :'''Gene''': Fuck it! <hr width=50%/> :'''Ravishing Rick Rude''': What I'd like to have right now is for all you fat, out-of-shape SummerSlam sweathogs... :'''Jesse "The Body" Ventura''': Ha ha ha! :'''Tony Schiavone''': You like that? :'''Jesse''': He's talking to you, Schiavone! :'''Rick''': ...keep the noise down while I take my robe off and show the ladies what a ''real'' sexy man looks like. <hr width="50%"> :''[The Ultimate Warrior has press slammed Rick Rude from the ring to the floor]'' :'''Jesse''': There was no call for that! The name of this sport is Wrestling. You wrestle inside the ring. This guy is a lunatic, I don't like him, he goes by his own rules, he don't listen to nothing. :'''Tony''': But Jesse, he's bought all this on himself. With Bobby Heenan pulling the leg, with Andre the Giant trying to choke out the Ultimate Warrior, you gotta expect a guy like the Warrior to take matters into your own hands. :'''Jesse''': And that means out to the floor. ''[Ultimate Warrior grabs the IC title and hits Rick Rude in the back with it]'' Hitting him with the belt?! This should be a disqualfication! That's an disqualfication!! Where is the hell the referee?! :'''Tony''': That's outside of the ring Jesse. :'''Jesse''': So what?! :'''Tony''': As much as it can just be a countout here. :'''Jesse''': What are you going to tell me Schiavone? You can shoot somebody outside the ring? As long as it's outside the ring? You know, you're even dumber than Monsoon! I thought Monsoon was the stupidest guy alive. <hr width="50%"> :'''Howard Finkel''': Ladies and gentlemen, at this time, I am pleased to announce that we have a very special guest. A surprise ring announcer, let's welcome Rugged Ronnie Garvin! :'''Jesse''': What?! :'''Tony''': Ho ho ho! What about that Jesse? :'''Jesse''': What is the purpose of this? The guy gets banned from refereeing, he gets banned from wrestling, now he's going to be a ring announcer? :'''Tony''': Well I think we better hear what he has to say. Why not? :'''Rugged Ronnie Garvin''': Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. :'''Tony''': He does a good job. :'''Jesse''': He's reading cue cards. :'''Tony''': Well, there's nothing wrong with that. :'''Garvin''': Coming down the aisle, weighing 275 pounds, the Mighty Hercules! :'''Tony''': The fans on their feet. As Rugged Ronnie Garvin makes the announcement, the Mighty Hercules making his way to the ring and quite personally Jesse, I can't wait to hear this introduction from Rugged Ronnie Garvin. :'''Jesse''': It ought to be interesting. :'''Garvin''': His so called opponent, :'''Jesse''': "So called opponent"? :'''Tony''': Well, that's an opinion. :'''Garvin''': coming to the ring with that little pip squeak, poor excuse of a manager. The big mouth of the south, Jimmy Hart. Here's a man who says he's from Seattle Washington. He claims to weigh 249 pounds. To me, he looks like he's overweight by 30 pounds! :'''Jesse''': How dare him do that as an announcer! :'''Garvin''': This individual who can't think for himself and when he goes to his wimpy manager for advice, little Jimmy can't give him any! :'''Jesse''': I think Ronnie Garvin's a punk! :'''Garvin''': He's the only wrestler I've seen with two left feet! Wears a robe with cheap rhinestones! Can't tell whether he's coming or going! Made the biggest mistake of his life when he asked for me to be reinstated, Greg "The Hammer" Valentine! <hr width="50%"> :'''The Genius''': From the Meadowlands Arena to the multitudes beyond, I, The Genius, full of glory and renown :Share my wondrous words of wisdom with the SummerSlam spectacular to validate my mortar board and gown. :Brutus Beefcake and Hulk Hogan shall be running for their lives, the highest card they're holding is a deuce. :They are totally unqualified to match the royal flush that shall be coming from the Macho Man and Zeus. :"Scary Sherri" is the term that Brutus Beefcake used in slander, and he had the nerve to call her overdressed. :That's when the Barber got a trim that wasn't on the schedule, because Sherri is a cut above the rest. :On the other hand, Elizabeth is absolutely useless, she is less than just another pretty face. :When you add the unknown factor of the Human Wrecking Machine, tonight the Hulk shall be in second place! <hr width="50%"> :'''Tony''': And Jesse Ventura, there is a power stronger than Zeus and it's called Hulkamania! :'''Jesse''': Yeah sure Schiavone. It's called foreign object, that's what it's called. Hogan had to use an illegal foreign object to win this match. And if that's what the Hulkamaniacs advocate, well they can stick it! :'''Tony''': (to Sensational Sherri) Well it's back to the cauldron for you young lady. :'''Jesse''': And then, to top it all off, Hogan has to beat up a woman! :'''Tony''': (to Elizabeth) Well Jesse, there's a real woman for you right there. :'''Jesse''': There's a gold digger right there. == [[w:SummerSlam (1990)|1990]] == :'''Sean Mooney''': Now, Mr. Perfect, it was less than ten days ago that you accepted the challenge from the [[w:Kerry Von Erich|Texas Tornado]] to defend the Intercontinental Championship. Have you ever prepared for a title defense on such short notice? :'''Mr. Perfect''': To be perfectly honest with you, I haven't. You see, being absolutely ''perfect'' does have its problems, because when you're a ''perfect'' Intercontinental Champion, challengers are few and far between. And let's face it, I'm perfect in every way — the perfect body, the perfect mind, and the perfect record. :'''Mooney''': Mr. Perfect, is it wise to accept a challenge from someone you know so little about? :'''Bobby "The Brain" Heenan''': Wait a minute, pal, I'll handle this one. You see, I know a lot about this Texas Tornado, because if you've seen one, you've seen 'em all. And you know why they call you the Texas Tornado? Because you've got your head in the clouds, and if you've got your head in the clouds, pal, you don't have your feet on the ground! You see, a Texas tornado never really does any damage, because you can spot one coming a mile away. Sure, they may look ferocious, but all they're really good for is kicking up some dust and ''(laughing)'' maybe turning over a few mobile homes in some hick trailer park on the Panhandle. :'''Perfect''': Remember this! Nobody beats Mr. Perfect! :'''Perfect and Bobby''': Nobody. <hr width=50%/> (''Mr. Perfect loses the Intercontinental title to the Texas Tornado)'' :'''Roddy Piper''': I'm sorry, what was the name of the guy who just ''lost'' again? <hr width=50%> :'''Mean Gene Okerlund''': With me now, Sensational Queen Sherri. :'''Sensational Queen Sherri''': You mean ''victorious'' Sensational Queen Sherri. :'''Gene''': Well, yes, but you're not gonna gloat like that. :'''Sherri''': Listen, Mean Gene. When you are so good that you intimidate your opponent to the point where they don't even show up because they know that they'll take a sensational beating, you can gloat all you want. :'''Gene''': Well, I suppose, but Queen Sherri, there's something peculiar going on around here as it relates to Sweet Sapphire. It's almost if she vanished into thin air. There were earlier sightings of Sapphire, but I don't know what's happened to her, I really don't. :'''Sherri''': "Earlier sightings"? What is she, a UFO?! But you're right, a lot of people did see Sapphire earlier this afternoon, and I'm beginning to think that maybe she's not so dumb after all. :'''Gene''': What do you mean? :'''Sherri''': First of all, she was smart enough not to show up and take a beating in her match with me; second, I heard a few rumors a minute ago. She may be the smartest person in the WWF. :'''Gene''': Rumors? What rumors? :'''Sherri''': ''[laughing hysterically]'' Well...this is too good to be true! :'''Gene''': Sensational Queen Sherri, I fail to see what's so funny about a missing person. :'''Sherri''': I said she was missing, I didn't say anything about her being a person. <hr width=50%/> :'''Mooney''': Jake, it's well-founded that Bad News Brown is afraid of snakes. The question remains, are you afraid of sewer rats? :'''Jake "The Snake" Roberts''': You know, my man, they don't call me the Snake for nothing, because Damian and I, we have a lot in common. But how about you, Bad News? You hang around with sewer rats. What does that say about you? But to answer your question, Sean, I'm not afraid of rats, no, because I don't have to be. You see, Damian here is really hungry. Yeah I know, Bad News says he hasn't fed his rats for weeks, and they must have a voracious appetite. But what I want to know, Bad News, is just how hungry are you? Because that's exactly what it's going to come down to—hunger. And hunger, that, Bad News, is what separates a man like me from a mouse like you. <hr width=50%/> :'''Mean Gene''': Hulk Hogan, hot on the heels of victory at SummerSlam tonight! What a powerhouse of a match between you and Earthquake, but I don't know, Hulk, if it's been settled. :'''Hulk Hogan''': You know somethin', Mean Gene? The only thing left to do, brother, is to kickstart my Wide Glide, hang onto the Ape Hangers, and with the largest arms in the world, man, ride right up to Jack Tunney's office, brother! Let him know that the Hulkamaniacs realize they're still the stronger power in the world, brother! And Jack Tunney, I just want you to know, dude. They're building new buildings all around the country. New York City, Los Angeles, Chicago, Africa, Asia, North Pole, South Pole, and all points in between, brother! And the new buildings, Mean Gene, they're Earthquake-proof, brother! :'''Mean Gene''': Earthquake-proof? :'''Hulk''': Yes! Earthquake-proof! Because I'm gonna take this big, fat dude, and I'm gonna drag him all the way around the country, brother! I'm gonna beat him in each and every arena until Jack Tunney puts me right back where I belong—in the #1 contender's spot, brother. :'''Mean Gene''': Well, Hulk Hogan, with all due respect, I think you're there already, I'll tell you what. A strong, strong outing for you against this mammoth, Earthquake. :'''Hulk''': Well, you know something, Mean Gene? I felt the love of the Hulkamaniacs, brother. The 400,000 cards and letters in just a few short weeks prove, man, that this thing's gonna last forever. And now, Hulkamaniacs, this is the decade of the little Hulksters, brother. And now, there are four Demandments. Four Demandments—train, say your prayers, eat your vitamins, and believe in yourself, brother. If you believe in yourself like you made me believe in myself, you can get anything you want! :And now, I'm getting a new 9-foot gun made, brother! A brand new surfboard with a 2 1/2 foot skeg, and I'm gonna go out to Venice Beach, and I'm gonna chase each and every shark I can find! And when I find the biggest wave I can find, I'm gonna catch that title wave, brother—I said ''title'' wave—and I'm gonna ride it right to the top! Whatcha gonna do, WWF, Earthquake, and Jack Tunney, and anybody else in my way?! <hr width=50%/> :'''Ultimate Warrior''': Do you know what Ravishing Rick Rude and Bobby Heenan have in common with the Liberty Bell? :'''Gene''': No, what? :'''Warrior''': One is cracked, and the other is a ding dong. <hr width=50%/> :'''Ravishing Rick Rude''': What I'd like to have right now is for all you fat, out-of-shape Pennsylvania piss-ants, keep the noise down while I take my robe off and give you a good look at the next World Wrestling Federation Champion. == [[w:SummerSlam (1991)|1991]] == :'''Bobby "The Brain" Heenan''': If your parents were here Piper, they wouldn't let you know that you were gone. :'''Rowdy Roddy Piper''': I'm not going to kill you for that remark, Boobs. I'll let you live with it for the next two and a half hours. :'''Bobby''': I heard a rumor that your mom and dad ran away from home. :'''Gorilla Monsoon''': Will you stop?! <hr width="50%"> :'''Bobby''': You know, Piper used to come home from school and find out that his parents had moved. :'''Gorilla''': Will you stop?! I'm not going to tell you again or you'll be out of here. <hr width="50%"> :'''Gorilla''': Concerned look on the face of Stu and Helen Hart. :'''Bobby''': You know why they're concerned? They snuck in! They scared the usher away. :'''Gorilla''': Will you be serious?! :'''Roddy''': Stop it now Bobby! <hr width="50%"> :'''Bobby''': Don't do it Perfect! Don't touch that ref! :'''Gorilla''': Why? Disqualifcation will save his title. :'''Bobby''': All right then nail him! <hr width=50%/> :'''Gorilla''': ''[as Bret blocks a legdrop from Mr. Perfect]'' Nice block there, that move. Oh, he's got that hold half-applied on the canvas! He's turning him over! :'''Roddy''': Beautiful counter! :'''Bobby''': The Sharpshooter! :'''Gorilla''': ''[as Hebner calls for the bell]'' He's got it! :'''Roddy''': HE GOT IT! :'''Bobby''': NO! NO! :'''Gorilla''': We've got a new champion! :'''Roddy''': We've got a new champion! :'''Bobby''': NO! :'''Roddy''': ALRIGHT! :'''Howard''': The winner of this bout and NEW Intercontinental Champion: Bret "Hitman" Hart! :''[Perfect kicks Bret once. Bret tears off Perfect's singlet as Perfect falls out on the ring]'' :'''Gorilla''': The new Intercontinental Champion, Bret "The Hitman" Hart! :'''Roddy''': Tear it off, Bret! Tear it off, man! :'''Gorilla''': Look at Perfect, he's hurt. He wants out of there! :'''Roddy''': We've got us a new champeen! [''sic''] :'''Gorilla''': And he deserves it! This place is going bananas! <hr width="50%"> :'''Bobby''': With Butch, Luke and Andre in there...which one is Larry, Darryl, and Darryl? <hr width="50%"> :''[Bobby is going to Hulk Hogan's dressing room with the NWA world title in his hands.]'' :'''Bobby''': Come on dummy, I don't have all day, I'm a busy man. Right here is the dressing room. Of the WWF champion Hulk Hogan. And I'm going to embarrass him and see what kind of a man he really is. ''[knocks on Hogan's door]'' Come on Hogan, open up! Wait till you see this. ''[Hogan opens the door.]'' On behalf of the real world's champion, Ric Flair, I would like to challenge you, Hogan. At any time any place - ''[Hogan slams the door.]'' Who do you think you're embarrassing?! You wouldn't do that if Ric Flair was standing here! You hear-- You hear me?! Turn that camera off. Turn that damn thing off! :'''Gorilla''': Oh I love it! :'''Roddy''': That's not the first door he's had slammed in his face. That's why he ain't married. <hr width="50%"> :'''[[w:Jacques Rougeau|The Mountie]]''': This is the way it's going to happen Mean Gene Okerlund. After I've done, beat your fat mug Boss Man, these little local hick cops are going to grab you and they're going to handcuff your hands. And they're going to take you and, I don't want you gentlemen to do it the New York style. I want gentlemen toto do it the Mountie kind of justice! If he fights back, I want you to drag him through these halls. And once we get back here, we wanna tan him in this little old paddy wagon. And once he get in here, it'll be your job to shackle his ankles, make sure he doesn't run away, shut the doors and throw the key away and bring him to that local New York caboose house. And we'll see you there Boss Man! <hr width="50%"> :'''Bobby''': We are about to find out who the real law and order is. And I believe it's the man in the red shirt. ''[The Mountie]'' :'''Roddy''': Well I believe it's the man in the blue shirt. ''[The Big Boss Man]'' <hr width="50%"> :'''Bobby''': I'm going to get the Boss Man a pack of cigarettes. :'''Gorilla''': Are you leaving again? :'''Bobby''': Yes, I'm going to take him some cigarettes. :'''Gorilla''': What do you mean take him some cigarettes? He doesn't even smoke! :'''Bobby''': No but he's going to need them to bribe the screws. :'''Gorilla''': Will you stop?! <hr width="50%"> :'''Bobby''': Come on Boss Man, get up! It's six o clock in the morning. Here's your cup of coffee and your one cigarette. :'''Roddy''': Oh you know what time they get up in the pokey do you? :'''Bobby''': I watched Police Story in Colombo. :'''Gorilla''': I think he's speaking from personal experience. <hr width="50%"> :''[the cops lead the Mountie to take pictures.]'' :'''The Mountie''': You guys think you're tough guys? Give me my shock stick! Aaah! No, no! You're not taking my pictures! Nooooo! You're not taking my pictures! (Hides his face with his arms.) :'''Photographer''': So I heard the Boss Man kicked your butt, huh? :'''The Mountie''': ''[looks up]'' What the?! ''[Photographer snaps the picture]'' No!! You're not taking my pictures! <hr width="50%"> :''[the cops lead the Mountie to the fingerprinting area.]'' :'''The Mountie''': No! You can't do this to me! You can't-- Aaaah! No! You're not taking my fingerprints! I'm not giving it to you! :'''Cop''': Come on, give me your finger! :'''The Mountie''': You want the finger?! ''[flips off the cop]'' Here's the finger! ''[They start fingerprinting the Mountie.]'' Yeow! Ouch! Yeow! Don't do that! I'm the Mountie! You can't fingerprint me! <hr width="50%"> :'''Sean Mooney''': It looks as though the Mountie is a bit outnumbered and Sgt. Slaughter, I'm sure you can attest to that going 3 against 2 into the Match Made in Hell. :'''Sgt. Slaughter''': What do you mean outnumbered, pukeface? You piece of human scum! Outnumbered?! We're not the ones that are going to be outnumbered. It's the Ultimare Warrior and Hulk Hogan that are going to be outnumbered. Why they're going to be outnumbered before the match even starts. Take a look at the Ultimate Puke. He still looks a little snakebit to me. Ha ha ha ha. And the Immortal Slime Hulk Hogan got a gash in his head. Lost about six gallons of blood. Ha ha ha ha. In fact, it's going to be a lot easier than we thought. In fact, we just may have one more surprise tonight in the match made in hell! <hr width="50%"> :'''Roddy''': I hope Slaughter keeps getting back up so that Hogan can keep knocking him down. :'''Bobby''': You must really hate the man. :'''Roddy''': I do! :'''Gorilla''': I suppose you like a traitor. Aren't you an American? :'''Bobby''': Yes. :'''Gorilla''': Well this guy turned his back on his country! Would you do that? Maybe you would. :'''Bobby''': My favorite show is The Price Is Right. <hr width="50%"> :''[The Mountie continues to rant inside his cell]'' :'''The Mountie''': Let me out, Jimmy Hart, I WANT TO HAVE A PHONE CALL!! ''[an inmate comes to him]'' :'''Inmate 1''': You want to fight me? :'''The Mountie''': Get out of here! :'''Inmate 1''': There's your buddy! ''[points to a mustachioed man in biker outfit approaching The Mountie]'' :'''Inmate 2''': Hi. :'''The Mountie''': ''[senses that the guy is gay]'' Oh my God! :'''Inmate 2''': Don't you just love the way leather feels against your body? :'''The Mountie''': ''[retreats to another part of the cell]'' LET ME OUTTA HERE!! LET ME OUTTA HERE!! == [[w:SummerSlam (1992)|1992]] == :'''Vince McMahon''': What are you doing with that ridiculous-looking crown on? :'''Bobby "The Brain" Heenan''': Well, you little stupid peasant, I happen to be Sir Bobby, the King of England. :'''Vince''': [[Henry VIII]] would be rolling over in his grave, Bobby "the Brain" Heenan, if he could see this! Nonetheless, the only thing royal about you is you're a royal pain; and speaking of a pain, in whose corner is Mr. Perfect really going to be in — the Ultimate Warrior's, or is going to be in the corner of the Macho Man? :'''Bobby''': WOOOOOOOOOO!!! <hr width=50%/> :'''Bobby''': I hate to say it, but the Bushwhackers are a lot prettier than some of the women I've seen here. :'''Vince''': Would you please stop that? <hr width=50%/> :'''[[w:Mike Rotunda|Irwin R. Schyster]]''': It's a well-known fact that if you British tax cheats would pay your fair share, you wouldn't put the burden on the royal family! <hr width=50%/> :'''Bobby''': I'm not sure Hawk even knows where he's at right now. Whether it be London, England, or Des Moines, Iowa, he hasn't got a clue. <hr width=50%/> :'''Mean Gene Okerlund''': With me at this is the former World Wrestling Federation Champion, the man who was disgruntled the moment they announced the main event for SummerSlam, for it was he who felt ''he'' should be the #1 contender to face the Macho Man Randy Savage. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the "Nature Boy" Ric Flair. :'''Ric Flair''': Rest assured, little man, it was not I alone disgruntled over the fact that the great Ric Flair was denied his opportunity to regain the World Wrestling Federation Championship right here at SummerSlam. After all, when you're talking about the brights lights and the big cities, you gotta be talking London, England. And when you're talking Summerslam, and when you're talking the World Wrestling Federation, you gotta be talking Ric Flair! Woo! :'''Mean Gene''': Ric Flair, I couldn't help but notice you're wearing your robe and your wrestling attire. What's going on here? :'''Ric''': It's because anybody that knows anything about Ric Flair knows that he stays ready for any kind of action. :'''Mean Gene''': And speaking of action, Ric Flair, one man we know is going to be seeing action tonight is your executive consultant, Mr. Perfect, for it's public knowledge he's gonna be in the corner of either the Macho Man Randy Savage or the Ultimate Warrior. As a matter of fact, I saw you and Mr. Perfect show up outside of Wembley Stadium earlier today in a long limosuine, Ric Flair. You two have been embroiled in this controversy of the main event since the day it was announced. As a matter of fact, this match may end up going down in history as the most controversial match in World Wrestling Federation history. :Now then, Ric Flair, I'm gonna put you on the spot. In whose corner will Mr. Perfect be tonight? ''[Ric leans in to answer, but laughs]'' Oh, come on, is it gonna be the Macho Man? ''[Another tease]'' Don't do this to me. Is it gonna be the Ultimate Warrior? ''[Another tease]'' Ric Flair, enough is enough. Like the great Winston Churchill once said, "now is the time!" And ''now'' is the time we demand to know the whereabouts of Mr. Perfect for SummerSlam! :'''Ric''': Why, he's in the dressing room. :'''Mean Gene''': But ''whose'' dressing room?! :'''Ric''': The dressing room of the winner! Who else?! WOO! <hr width=50%/> :''[Shawn Michaels and Rick Martel have attempted a series of rolling cradles all involving pulling the others tights]'' :'''Vince''': There are more moons here in London, England, than there are on any other planet! :'''Bobby''': I've never seen so many smiles in all my life. <hr width=50%/> :'''The Genius''': From the home of the Olympic Games of 1948 :And the World Cup of 1966. I know the date :Now at SummerSlam at Wembley, and the Genius holds the key :Behold the future champions, the Brothers Beverly :'''Vince''': He's no William Shakespeare, that's for sure. :'''Bobby''': He's a genius! <hr width=50%/> :'''Vince''': All Typhoon has to do is sit up and tag his partner. :'''Bobby''': You're asking a lot for Typhoon to do a situp. <hr width=50%/> :'''Bobby''': ''[on the foam fingers in the audience]'' I remember when I used to walk to the ring, McMahon, and people used to hold up one finger. :'''Vince''': That was a different kind of salute. <hr width=50%/> :'''Mean Gene''': Alright, this is the SummerSlam you thought you'd never see. And there was an incident out there tonight that I thought I would n... What the hell were you trying to pull?! There was no deal! :'''Mr. Perfect''': You just be quiet, little man! There was a deal, all right! :'''Mean Gene''': There was not a deal! :'''Mr. Perfect''': It was a done deal between Ric Flair and Mr. Perfect. A lot of people might think that other deal didn't go down. Not a chance. That was Plan A, and now, Plan B, little man divot-head, is in full charge. Plan B, champ, tell him the way it is. :'''Mean Gene''': Oh, come on, this has got to be... :'''Ric''': I should've had the shot to begin with! Not the Ultimate Warrior! But now, you ask the Warrior what he wants in life! Well, it's gonna be me, and baby, I'm waiting on you! Plan A, maybe that slipped by. But now, we're looking at Plan B! And baby, the way I see it, the two most perfect men alive today are this gentleman and myself! :'''Mean Gene''': You two men, this is an absolute sham in the World Wrestling Federation! :'''Mr. Perfect''': Is my bowtie straight, champ? :'''Ric''': You are a killer, brother. You are a killer! In closing, let me tell the whole world and especially one man something. Savage, that belt is coming back to me! <hr width=50%/> :'''Sean Mooney''': Davey Boy Smith, you have got to be feeling enormous pressure going into this contest for the Intercontinental Championship. You’ll be stepping into the ring with your brother-in-law. Obviously, this match has torn both sides of the family apart. First of all, your thoughts on the family pressures you are facing now. :'''British Bulldog''': Well, I’m facing a lot of pressures in the family, Sean. But I didn’t make this match, Jack Tunney made this match. But the British Bulldog has fought hard for two long years to be the #1 contender for the Intercontinental belt. Yes, Bret, you are the Intercontinental Champion. Yes, Bret, you are my brother-in-law. But when I step in the ring with you, Bret, I never met you. I don’t even know you. But at the end of the match, I just hope the families reunite. :'''Sean''': British Bulldog, that brings me to my second point, one that may even bring even more pressure on you—the fact that you will be stepping out into that stadium in front of 80,000 of your fellow countrymen. :'''Bulldog''': Sean, that isn’t a pressure. That’s a dream for the British Bulldog. And my second dream is, at the end of the match, the British Bulldog will be the next World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Champion. <hr width=50%/> :'''Mean Gene''': Well, I’ve got to agree with my broadcast colleague, Sean Mooney. Indeed, there is a great deal of pressure for this Intercontinental title bout. However, the pressure for the champion—you, Bret "The Hitman” Hart—much different than the pressure on the challenger, the British Bulldog. For him to win this coveted title, he must either make you submit or get the pinfall 1-2-3 in the center of the ring. And then, of course, there’s the question of the family pressure. :'''Bret "Hitman" Hart''': Well, let me tell you something, Gene. As far as family pressure goes, I’ve proven that I work real well under pressure. But you know something that really bugs me, that really irks me, is the British Bulldog actually has the gall to come out here and say that when he steps in the ring with me, that he’s never met me, that he doesn’t know me. Well, let me tell you something, British Bulldog. Take a good look at my face and look me in the eye and tell me you don’t know me. Do you remember that far back, British Bulldog, when I was the one that introduced you to my sister Diana in the first place. And as far as your career in the World Wrestling Federation, I’m the one that helped you the most. You wouldn’t be where you are in the World Wrestling Federation if it wasn’t for me. Talk about gratitude. :You know, the British Bulldog forgets he’s the one that wanted to challenge me, he’s the one responsible for all the family tension, he’s the one that wanted a shot at the gold. Well, you know something, the British Bulldog...he wanted the big fight? He’s got the big fight. And as far as his big dream...you know what I think of his big dream? This big dream of his of winning the World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Title in front of 80,000 of his compatriots? Well, you know, I think this big dream of his is gonna turn into a nightmare. And then tomorrow morning when he wakes up, he’s gonna think he woke up in the dungeon of Windsor Castle. <hr width=50%/> :''[During the Intercontinental Title match]'' :'''Vince''': Unbelievable intestinal fortitude on the part of both participants. ''[Hart rolls over Bulldog, attempting a...]'' Sunset flip...''[Bulldog kneels over Bret's shoulders, catches both legs, and leans forward as Joey Marella counts]'' Wait a minute...two...that's it! :'''Bobby''': He beat him! He beat him! Wembley Arena is going nuts! I mean Wembley Stadium! I don't know where I am! :'''Howard Finkel''': Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this bout...and NEW Intercontinental Champion: The British Bulldog! == [[w:SummerSlam (1993)|1993]] == :'''Bobby "The Brain" Heenan''': Isn't it ironic that the colors of Michigan are yellow? :'''Vince McMahon''': And blue. :'''Bobby''': But mostly yellow. :'''Vince''': They're not yellow, they're gold, Bobby Heenan. <hr width=50%> :'''Joe Fowler''': How lucky am I? My very first assignment is SummerSlam. This is bigger than life! Thank you, Vince McMahon, for bringing me on board. We've just seen a title match, we're about to see another one. Shawn Michaels has the Intercontinental belt, he's gonna take on Mr. Perfect. Shawn is here along with his bodyguard Diesel. Shawn, you've won it, you've lost it, you've won it, can you hang onto this thing? :'''"The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels''': Now all the questions are gonna be answered—''who'' is the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time? Is it Mr. Perfect or is it Shawn Michaels? All those answers are gonna come across tonight, and I will prove to everybody—you and all of the world—that Shawn Michaels is the greatest Intercontinental Champ. :'''Joe''': Now wait a minute, they say that Mr. Perfect caused you to lose it and Diesel won it back for you. :'''Shawn''': I got news for you. Who's the one that's wearing it? It's Shawn Michaels, so I must've won it. Isn't that right, Diesel? :'''Diesel''': That's right. The Heartbreak Kid can take care of the work in the ring. Hey, everybody knows the chicks dig this guy—I'm here just to keep 'em off the champ. Let's get outta here, Champ. <hr width=50%> :'''Irwin R. Schyster''': Detroit used to be known as the Motor city. Now it's known as the tax cheat city! <hr width=50%> :'''Bobby''': ''(On 1-2-3 Kid's first PPV appearance)'' This is a first! This is a first! This is the first time that Kid's been out past eight o'clock! <hr width=50%/> :'''Bobby''': ''(To Vince McMahon)'' Wrong, wrong, wrong, tuxedo breath! <hr width=50%/> ''(1-2-3 Kid hits a single kick as his first move in the match and goes for the pin)'' :'''Vince''': Cover him! It's over! He got him! ''(IRS kicks out)'' No he didn't. :'''Bobby''': Whaddya mean it's over?!? It's not over! <hr width=50%/> :'''Vince''': Well, call it what you will, call it luck, call it ability, call it the fact that the 1-2-3 Kid will take high-risks like no one else ever in the WWF, whatever it is, you can call him victorious. :'''Bobby''': You could call him stupid. <hr width=50%/> :'''Bobby''': Ouch! Hit him right on the bicusbid. :'''Vince''': The what? :'''Bobby''': The bicusbid. :'''Vince''': What do you know about bicusbids? <hr width=50%/> :'''Vince''': You're asking and answering your own questions, you really are the Brain, aren't you? :'''Bobby''': Well, I have to, when I'm with... :'''Vince''': Yeah right, when you're with what? :'''Bobby''': Uh, nothing. <hr width=50%/> :'''Bobby''': He hit him so hard he knocked three zits off his cheek! <hr width=50%/> :'''Bobby''': Cheating is only cheating when you get caught, and bragging isn't bragging when you can do it. <hr width=50%/> :'''Bobby''': Well, I think he shines more, uh, his ability to think for himself without relying on a partner, could be an advantage of, uh, of Mr. IRS, but I would have to say just by watching him and the way I've been watching him and the way you, in the ring right now, I'd have to say that... yeah, the Kid's in trouble. :'''Vince''': Could you care to repeat that please? :'''Bobby''': Well... no. :'''Vince''': I see. <hr width=50%/> :'''Vince''': ''(On Irwin R. Schyster)'' He doesn't like to be called Irwin, he doesn't like to be called Schyster, what does he like to be called? :'''Bobby''': R. <hr width=50%/> :'''Bobby''': That's Bruce Hart right? Did he ever play a banjo in the movie Deliverance? <hr width=50%/> :'''Vince''': (Jerry Lawler has Bret Hart up against the ringpost) We saw Doink earlier ram Bret's leg into the ringpost, now what's Lawler going to do? (Lawler crotches Bret against the post) Oh no! :'''Bobby''': (High voice) Oh it's going to happen to Bret "The Hitman" Hart. :'''Vince''': Stop it Bobby Heenan! <hr width+50%/> :'''Ludvig Borga''': (giving a video promo after the Bret Hart/Jerry Lawler match): I'm gonna show you all why Lex Lugar is gonna try to win the World Wrestling Federation championship right here in the middle of the American Dream. Well keep on dreaming Lex Lugar, because if this is what you stand up for, if this is what you're proud of, these crumbling buildings, this filth, this pollution, and I bet the Lex Express never stopped here on it's way to SummerSlam. So Lex Lugar, look at this..this building is crumbling like America is crumbling because you American high school dropouts are signing this country away welfare check by welfare check. And you people call this the land of opportunities?! Well, I'm gonna take my opportunity to show all you so-called American wrestlers & Marty Janetty tonight at SummerSlam what Ludvig Borga is all about. <hr width=50%/> :'''Vince''': Harvey Wippleman was instrumental in stealing that urn from the Undertaker. :'''Bobby''': No no no, he "urned" it! <hr width=50%/> :'''Vince''': ''(Referring to The Undertaker)'' The man in black! :'''Bobby''': Yeah, I bet Johnny Cash has a picture of him on his wall. <hr width=50%/> :'''Bobby''': ''(On Harvey Wippleman)'' Tell him, Harvey! You tell him Harvey! :'''Vince''': Tell him what? :'''Bobby''': Get on his case! Harvey'll knock you out in a minute, you know. :'''Vince''': Yeah, sure... <hr width=50%/> :'''Bobby''': But that urn owned by Harvey Wippleman! :'''Vince''': It's owned by The Undertaker, it's in the possession of Harvey Wippleman. :'''Bobby''': Same thing! <hr width=50%/> :'''Bobby''': ''(On Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez)'' Take out the silver bullets, the wooden stake, and the garlic! Take him home, Giant! <hr width=50%/> :'''Bobby''': Harvey'll knock you out in a minute! ''(Harvey Wippleman charges and is instantly knocked out by Paul Bearer)'' He slipped, he lost his footing. <hr width=50%/> :'''Bobby''': ''(On Undertaker)'' He's back to the tomb! He's back to the crypt! He's back to his box of dirt! He's looking at the urn! He's got his power back! He's got Paul Bearer back! There's gonna be trouble for everyone in the World Wrestling Federation! <hr width=50%/> :'''Bobby''': ''(After Yokozuna is knocked out by Lex Luger's forearm and loses to Luger by countout)'' I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! HE IS OUT! HE IS STILL OUT! THE CHAMPION IS OUT! WILL SOMEONE PLEASE HELP HIM? PLEASE HELP HIM! HE IS OUT! HE IS STILL OUT! MY GOD! <hr width=50%/> :'''Joe''': ''[interviewing Lex Luger in his dressing room where he is joined by Rick and Scott Steiner, Tatanka, and Macho Man Randy Savage after defeating Yokozuna by countout]'' Lex Lugar, the public loves you and obviously your friends of the WWF love you too. :'''Lex Luger''': It's a great feeling in the locker room, it's a great feeling out there in the ring, a great victory today. And you know, it's an honor and a privilege to wrestle for the World Wrestling Federation title and an honor and privilege to represent my country out there. The atmosphere was.. ''(Ludvig Borga who earlier defeated Marty Janetty enters Lex's dressing room)'' :'''Borga''': Lex Luger, I'm here in your locker room to tell you that I am NOT impressed with you. And I am not impressed with your friends either and I certainly am not impressed about the country that you stand up for. Now let me tell you something, if you ever step into the ring with Ludvig Borga, I will crush you like America is crumbling piece by piece and I see you as the backbone of America and if you ever step in the ring with me, I will break it. == [[w:SummerSlam (1994)|1994]] == :'''Vince McMahon''': ''[on Alundra Blayze]'' What a competitor. What an athlete. :'''[[w:Jerry Lawler|Jerry "The King" Lawler]]''': What a face. I've heard of faces that could stop a clock; this face could stop Switzerland. :'''Vince''': Now wait a minute, if you'll turn this...a battle between a beauty and the beast, considering Bull Nakano's look. :'''Jerry''': I agree, she's beautiful. <hr width=50%/> :'''Jerry''': ''[regarding the Hart family]'' McMahon, why don't you ask them the hard questions? Why don't you get them to tell the truth? ''[Pointing to Stu and Helen Hart]'' You drove them to this, both of you. You know you did. You brought Owen to this. You kept him down his whole life! You, the entire family! You all did it! The only man... :'''Vince''': The brothers back there, wait a minute...you'd better watch your mouth! :'''Jerry''': The entire family has drove Owen to this! I wanna say a word to this man over here though. Here's the only man I want to welcome to the United Center because this is the man who, two years ago at SummerSlam, went head-to-head, face-to-face against Bret Hart. Are you having...are you having any flashbacks? Wouldn't you love to be in there against him tonight? :'''British Bulldog''': Uh, not really because I know what kind of condition Bret's in, and he's in the best condition of his life right now. The family feud started in 1992 at SummerSlam, but in 1994 tonight at the United Center, the family feud is hopefully going to end in this 15-foot-high steel cage. :'''Jerry''': It's gonna end, all right. And I don't think any of you are gonna like the way it's ending. :'''Vince''': Why don't you ask some of the brothers back here. Ask Bruce, he's right there behind Davey...''[noticing behind Bruce]'' oh wait a minute. Wait just a minute. Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart. Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart, your thoughts on this steel cage. And you, you sitting here among all the other family members. How do they feel about you sitting here among them? :'''Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart''': Well, you know...you know, it's all in the family. But I...I think everyone's gonna really see who the really...who the best Hart is of all, who's the best. And everyone's gonna see that Owen Hart is gonna be the next World Heavyweight Champion. :'''Jerry''': He's the King of Harts already! :'''Jim''': He's the King of Harts, and he's the best Hart of all! He's the best wrestler! And you know something? I think that Stu Hart did drive Owen to this greatness! <hr width=50%/> :'''Bret "Hitman" Hart''': I'm going in this match with one thing in mind. First of all, this World Wrestling Federation Championship belt isn't going anywhere. It's going right back over my shoulder back in the dressing room because I'm gonna prove that I ''am'' better than Owen, I was always better than Owen. And you know, Owen, I want you to understand something. I don't hate you. I don't hate your guts, I never, ever did. I never got into this thing thinking or believing that I hated your guts, 'cause I don't. The problem with you is you, it's in your head and it's in your heart. Jealousy is a horrible thing, it's a ugly thing [''sic''] that's a... :You know, Neidhart, that might be a different story. Maybe I might just go that far and say I hate ''his'' guts, 'cause I believe right inside my heart that it was Jim Neidhart, right from the start, that started ''all'' this stuff. He's the one that planted the seeds of jealousy in Owen in the first place. Owen, I don't hate you, I just feel kinda sorry for you. And in this match, brother against brother, Cain and Abel, whatever you want to call it, it...it breaks ''my'' heart to think that it's come this far, that two brothers are gonna be in the most...this is barbaric. This has nothing to do with what we grew up with, believing in wrestling, exchanging holds and all this. This has gone way beyond that; this is out of the Dungeon now. This is a dogfight, this is something...this is liked caged animals, and it's something I'm not very proud of. But the fact is, it has to stop. :You know, you people don't understand. I've got my mother coming up to me with tears in her eyes and begging me to see this thing end, my father wants to see it end, everybody wants to see it end. And I've tried to end it, I've tried to find someplace to stop it, and there's no place you can end it. But now, I see this is it, it's gonna be a ugly fight [''sic''], it's gonna be a dogfight, and there's gonna be one winner and one loser. And I'm not gonna lose this thing, Owen. I'm going in there with every single thing I got, and I'm gonna beat you, brother. And I just hope, after it's all said and done, that you can live with it. <hr width=50%/> :'''Vince''': Bret Hart trying to finish this thing once and for all with his baby brother Owen. :'''Jerry''': See, listen to you calling him a baby. :'''Vince''': ''Youngest'' brother, he was the baby of the family. :... :'''Jerry''': Why do you feel like you have to refer to the WWF Champion as a baby? <hr width=50%/> :'''Owen Hart''': My whole family?! What the hell was all that! They're not my flesh and blood! They turned their backs on me! The only one they ever cared about was Bret! I ought to be the winner! I don't know what the hell the British Bulldog is doing! He's not ''my'' brother! He's not ''my'' family, jumping in there and interfering! Bulldog, you stay out of it! Bret, I had you beat. == [[w:SummerSlam (1995)|1995]] == :'''[[w:Michael Hayes (wrestler)|Dok Hendrix]]''': I'm standing here with what is fixin' to be the future WWF Champion. And now, come on, King Mabel. You gave me the first scoop, you've been involving me plan after plan. Come on, tell me, tell me, what's the final plan? Gotta know, gotta know, come on, come on. :'''King Mabel''': Dok, you, just like everybody else around the world, are just gonna have to wait until it unfolds. Big Daddy Cool, what's the old saying? Fool me once, shame on me; fool me twice; shame on you; but three times? What's your story, Big Daddy Fool? You think the thing with the British Bulldog was the big one? :'''Dok''': Yeah! :'''Mabel''': Uh-uh. It's tonight, and you will see. Long live the king. <hr width=50%> :'''Jerry "The King" Lawler''': Can you imagine poor Hunter Hearst-Helmsley is gonna have to be soiled by this grease monkey with those filthy, greasy fingernails of his, Bob "Spark Plug" Holly. Look at the look on Hunter's face. Oh, this has gotta be...oh, I can't even imagine it myself. :'''Vince McMahon''': This is degrading for Hunter Hearst-Helmsley? :'''Jerry''': Without a doubt. :'''Vince''': Please. :'''Jerry''': I mean, that's just two complete opposite worlds. You're looking at the kind of guy over there, in Bob "Spark Plug" Holly, that would spend his honeymoon at a monster truck rally or something, and then you've got a man over here who...his idea of a fast food restaurant would be someplace that could serve Kentucky-fried quail or pheasant under glass. :'''Vince''': "Kentucky-fried quail." :'''Jerry''': Yeah. :'''Vince''': I see. :'''Jerry''': Or squab. You ever heard of that? :'''Vince''': Squab? :'''Jerry''': Yeah. That's the kind of things Hunter Hearst-Helmsley would eat. :'''Vince''': Sounds like a detergent. Squab? :'''Jerry''': You sure you're not from Alabama, like Bob there? <hr width=50%> :'''Sunny''': We're back! I'm sure everybody will agree that we were cheated once. And then guess what. We were cheated twice. But tonight, I promise you that third time's the charm for the Body Donnas. And Mr. Barry Horriblewitz will regret ever stepping up to the Body Donnas, and that's a promise. We plan on showing everyone, we plan on teaching Barry Horriblewitz, that good-for-nothing, out-of-shape, natural born loser, a lesson that he and all of you will never soon forget. <hr width=50%> :'''Earl Hebner''': ''[to Sunny after she threw in the towel]'' Hey, this is not boxing! This is wrestling! YOU GET OUT!! <hr width=50%> :'''Jerry''': ''[on Barry Horowitz]'' I knew something was up when I looked at his name, and beside his name in the program, it said, "yeah, right." <hr width=50%> :'''Jerry''': You've heard of ''Buns of Steel''? I think Bertha Faye's got buns of cinnamon. <hr width=50%> :'''Jerry''': ''[on [[w:Kane (wrestler)|Isaac Yankem, DDS]]]'' This man has been a great wrestler in the past under an assumed name. :'''Vince''': What was his assumed name? :'''Jerry''': I'm not gonna tell you that. He doesn't want them to know. He only wants everybody to know him by his name, and it's ''Yan''kem, not ''Yank''em. <hr width=50%> :'''Dok''': Come on, Shawn. :'''Vince''': You're rooting for Shawn to win? :'''Dok''': No, I don't care. :... :'''Dok''': Come on, Razor. :'''Vince''': You just said, "come on, Shawn," earlier. :'''Dok''': I know. See? I'm very objective. == [[w:SummerSlam (1996)|1996]] == :'''Vince McMahon''': Owen Hart, to a certain extent, following in the footsteps of his older brother, Bret "The Hitman" Hart. :'''Mr. Perfect''': Do you have to mention his name at SummerSlam around me, McMahon? <hr width=50%/> :'''Mankind''': There's no place like home, Todd, there's no place like home. For knowledge and discipline, there is no place like home. But as much as I love... ''[licks the side of a boiler]'' ...every square inch within these hallowed halls, it's time to leave, because destiny awaits on the other side. :'''Jim Ross''': Was he licking that thing? :'''Mankind''': But as for you, Dead Man, take this simple warning: do not come in here, because outside the walls awaits you a fate worse than death, and a possible course of events that could alter the future of all mankind! Have a nice day! <hr width=50%/> :'''Mr. Perfect''': Look at Sunny. She looks great, doesn't she? :'''Jim''': Oh, yeah, just ask her how good she looks, she'll tell ya. <hr width=50%/> :'''Vince''': ''[on Phineas Godwinn and Zip]'' Here we go, criss-cross action. Where's she gonna stop? ''[Zip stops...]'' Right about there, maybe...''[Phineas and Zip rush to the Smoking Gunns' corner and tag both of them]'' Well, how about that?! :'''Jim''': There you go! :''[They strut back, hug briefly, and go to their respective corners]'' :'''Vince''': Tagged both Gunns in! Look at that! :'''Mr. Perfect''': Now wait a minute, they're not gonna wrestle each other. :'''Jim''': They have to, they have no choice. :'''Mr. Perfect''': No, they got...they gotta have something. :'''Jim''': They gotta make contact, that's the rules, Perfect. :'''Vince''': That's right, Billy now must wrestle Bart. <hr width=50%/> :'''Sunny''': I want everybody to take a real good look right now at the winners and ''still'' World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Champions, and that's the way they're gonna stay! Now before we go and have our victory party, I want all you women to look at the Smoking Gunns, at what real men are supposed to look like. And boys, take a good look at the woman next to you—the fat, the cellulite, how out of shape they are right now. And as I look around here, this place is looking really sorry, so my generous gift to you—to make this building look a whole lot better. Hit it, boys! :''[A giant pinup of Sunny unravels above the ring]'' :'''Vince''': Unbelievable! :'''Sunny''': Don't I look incredible?! Mwah! <hr width=50%/> :'''Jim''': I don't think the fans here miss Cornette. He's about as popular here as Art Modell. <hr width=50%/> :'''Jim Cornette''': I don't care if there's 50,000 stinking people out there, it's gonna make no difference! Shawn Michaels, we've proved a lot of things. We proved that Vader can pin you for a three-count, 'cause he did it last month. We proved that he can beat you up, 'cause he did it on ''Raw''. And now tonight at SummerSlam, we're gonna prove that Vader's gonna beat you when it counts, and that's for the World Wrestling Federation Title. I promised last month that Camp Cornette would win, I promise it tonight that Vader is gonna beat Shawn Michaels. Shawn, when he grabs you around the neck and you try to talk, dude, your voice is gonna sound like Peter Frampton's electronic kazoo in the instrumental break of "Do You Feel Like We Do", and it's gonna be a bad ride from there! Because one way or another, we're gonna come out on top tonight. Vader's beaten Shawn Michaels once and for all! == [[w:SummerSlam (1997)|1997]] == :''[official promo, with the narrator referring to specific people as they appear]'' :'''Voiceover''': In a perfect world, there would be no villains, no conspicuous manifestations of hate. Athletic excellence would be applauded, sportsmanship would be the rule, our heroes would remain heroes forever.</br> If life were fair, then this legend ''[Bret Hart]'' would be lauded in his pursuit of a historic fifth World Wrestling Federation championship - instead, he's a fallen idol, America's Public Enemy No 1. The respect abandoned, bludgeoned, and spat upon by a society he feels condones defiance, and perpetuates hate. If life were fair, then this mighty champion ''[Undertaker]'', this survivor of deception and conqueror of earthly hells would surely revel in the championship spotlight. The bright lights wouldn't singe his aura, illuminating a dark, horrifying secret from his distant past. And if life were fair, then this man ''[Shawn Michaels]'' might still be champion. Dancing, flying, showcasing his extraordinary talents to legions of fans. He wouldn't be an athlete betrayed by an unwilling knee, a man surrendering a boyhood dream for a lost smile of youth. </br> Is it fair that tonight, even in victory, this champion ''[Undertaker]'' would be haunted by personal demons whose voices cry out from the dark? Is it fair that tonight, this man ''[Bret]'' may rewrite history yet still incur the wrath of a hostile and unappreciative nation? And is it fair that tonight's special referee ''[Shawn]'' is a despised enemy of the challenger? Will vengeance flow ruinous from his biased heart, ensuring that tonight will be the last night Bret Hart ever wrestles in this country again?</br> Life isn't fair... but who ever said it would be? <hr width=50%> :'''Vince McMahon''': Mankind, better known...well, not ''better'' known as, but certainly known as Mick Foley, grew up not all that far, grew up here in the tri-state area out on Long Island. :'''Jerry "The King" Lawler''': Well, that explains what's wrong with him. <hr width=50%> :'''Ken Shamrock''': GET OUTTA MY WAY!!! :... :'''Vince''': Ken Shamrock. Although one cannot applaud the actions of Ken Shamrock, you certainly can't applaud what set this volcano off. <hr width=50%> :'''Jim Ross''': Miguel Perez, whose father wrestled in the '50s and '60s, a great tag team competitor in the WWF. Partners with the late Antonino Rocca. :'''Vince''': And following in his dad's footsteps, a tremendous competitor. :'''Jim''': King, did you ever wrestle Antonino Rocca in the early '60s? :'''Vince''': Stop this. :'''Jerry''': Who? <hr width=50%> :'''Jerry''': Four guys with bad attitudes. You know, the show ''America's Most Wanted'' was based on DOA. :'''Jim''': I don't think John Walsh has ever spoke with the DOA, at least on a first-person basis. :... :'''Jerry''': You trying to tell me Crush has never been in trouble with the law? Huh? Shoot, his family portrait is a courtroom sketch. <hr width=50%> :'''Michael Cole''': Mr. Austin. Mr. Austin. Stone Cold. I need a quick word with you before the match. :'''Stone Cold Steve Austin''': Yeah I got a quick word for you. Get out of here! :'''Michael''': Mr. Austin, are you prepared? Are you prepared to put your reputation on the line tonight? You would have to kiss Owen's backside if you lose in front of all these people 20,000 people. A million people out there on pay per view. Mr. Austin, are you ready? :'''Austin''': You're fixing to kiss my ass if you don't get your little ass out of my face. You got that? You and your stupid little bow tie. You don't impress me none, you little piece of trash! :'''Vince''': Uh, Michael perhaps a little overzealous there. He doesn't know Stone Cold all that well. :'''Jerry''': A man of few words, but one of them is a-double-s. <hr width=50%> :'''Vince''': What's gonna happen in the next match-up? Shawn Michaels cares about his own career, and obviously also cares, in a negative way, as it relates to the Hitman, Bret Hart. What sort of emotion is Shawn Michaels feeling as the guest referee? :'''Jerry''': Are you kidding me? Shawn Michaels's ego is so big that it's got its own ZIP code, McMahon. All he cares about is what his hair looks like out here tonight. And you know what? Speaking of the Undertaker, Shawn Michaels...I mean, he's so full of himself, when he goes to a funeral, he's upset because he's not the corpse. He wants to be the center of attention, and tonight, some kind of way, he will manage to be the center of attention in this match. :'''Vince''': And the Hitman Bret Hart said he didn't mean it literally, he meant it figuratively when he stated he would never wrestle again in the United States if he didn't win the WWF Championship. I'm sure he is regretting that comment. :'''Jim''': Well, it's officially in the contract, so it is a done deal. If Bret Hart doesn't leave this arena, ladies and gentlemen, tonight here at SummerSlam with the WWF Championship, Bret...this will be Bret Hart's last match ever in the United States. <hr width=50%> :'''Bret "Hitman" Hart''': I'd like everybody to stand back and listen to the Canadian national anthem, and I just want to dedicate this match to all my fellow Canadians, to all my fans all over the world that feel the same way as I do about America and Americans. This is for you. <hr width=50%> :'''Jim''': Now all the other WWF referees are gonna want pyro. :'''Vince''': Music, pyro, yeah. :'''Jerry''': Earl Hebner would look good in front of a Roman candle. <hr width=50%> :''[Shawn confronts Bret with the chair]'' :'''Vince''': Shawn Michaels with that chair that Bret tried to throw out of the ring. ''[Shawn pulls him off of the Undertaker]'' Maybe Michaels has had enough. Michaels was on the outside and did not see... :''[Bret spits in Shawn's face]'' :'''Jerry''': Uh-oh! :''[Shawn tries to hit Bret with the chair, but Bret ducks and Shawn hits the Undertaker instead]'' :'''Jim''': Good God! Good God! :''[Bret covers Undertaker and waves Shawn over to count. Shawn counts to three and leaves.]'' :'''Vince''': I can't believe this. :''[Undertaker leaves the ring]'' :'''Jim''': This is horrible. :'''Vince''': And the Undertaker is going after Shawn Michaels. :'''Howard Finkel''': The winner of this bout and NEW World Wrestling Federation Champion: Bret "Hitman" Hart! :'''Vince''': The impossible has happened at this year's SummerSlam; and the Undertaker, with one last glance back at Bret Hart, as Bret Hart kisses the gold. And Bret Hart, somehow, is once again WWF Champion. :'''Jim''': Bret Hart now immersing himself in the Maple Leaf. There's gotta be jubilation in Canada, perhaps jubilation in the United Kingdom and Germany, but there is no joy in East Rutherford, New Jersey, tonight. :'''Vince''': We would like to take you back and show you how this happened. :'''Jim''': This is shocking. :'''Vince''': ''[off replay]'' Alright, here Shawn picked up the chair. :'''Jerry''': He busted the Undertaker's brains out, but right now he's realizing if he don't count, he's gone too. :'''Jim''': I don't understand that. :'''Jerry''': What's not to understand? :'''Vince''': And now Bret Hart being joined by all the other Hart Foundation members. Bret Hart, with the Maple Leaf draped around his neck, the flag of Canada, and the WWF Championship back around his waist for the fifth time, and it happened here in America. == [[w:SummerSlam (1998)|1998]] == :'''Val Venis''': Hello ladies! :'''Jerry "The King" Lawler''': Are there any ''ladies'' in New York City? :'''Jim Ross''': Of course there are. :'''Jerry''': Of the night. :'''Venis''': So the Big Valbowski has arrived to the Big Apple. Well, you know something? I came, I saw...and I came again. <hr width=50%/> :'''Jerry''': Is D'Lo ''from'' Europe? :'''Jim''': No, he's not, he's from Jersey. :'''Jerry''': Jersey? :'''Jim''': Right hand by D'Lo Brown. :'''Jerry''': I think it's Lisbon or Munich. :'''Jim''': Or Hoboken. <hr width=50%/> :'''Jerry''': The Rock's swinging that ladder just like Mark McGwire's swinging a baseball bat. :'''Jim''': Why don't we ever talk about Sammy Sosa? Never mind. <hr width=50%/> :'''Jim''': No WWF Champion has ever entered Madison Square Garden with that kind of ovation! I challenge you, I challenge you to research that, King! I literally felt this building shake! :'''Jerry''': Okay, I'll give you that. Every single soul is on their feet with anticipation! They love Stone Cold Steve Austin. But a lot of them love the Undertaker too. This is truly gonna be the collision on the highway to Hell. == [[w:SummerSlam (1999)|1999]] == :'''Jim Ross''': The Rock just put Billy Gunn's face in that large woman's ass! == [[w:SummerSlam (2002)|2002]] == :'''Jim Ross''': ''(After Triple H strikes Shawn Michaels twice with his sledgehammer after their match)'' I refuse to believe what I see, I refuse to believe that after the most courageous victory that many of us had ever seen, that son of a bitch used that hammer on Shawn, he's hit him twice with that sledgehammer! ''(Triple H performs a crotch chop to the incapacitated Michaels before leaving)'' My god almighty, Triple H is gonna rot. :'''Jerry "The King" Lawler''': Hurry, hurry, get the.... :'''Jim''': He's gonna rot in hell for what he did here tonight. ''(EMT's attend to Michaels as Triple H smirks)'' This just makes me sick. :'''Jerry''': Are you proud of yourself now?! Look at him! Look at that stinkin' smile on his face! :'''Jim''': How in god's name can that human being be from this planet? How can he, does he have no conscience? Does he have no heart?! Do you have no soul?! You son of a bitch! Do you realize what you've just done?! <hr width=50%/> :'''Michael Cole''': ''(after Brock Lesnar wins the WWE Undisputed Championship)'' "The Next Big Thing" has arrived! == [[w:SummerSlam (2006)|2006]] == :'''Nature Boy Ric Flair''': ''(when the referee declares Mick Foley unable to continue in their I Quit match)'' This isn't a "lay down on your ass" match, it's an I Quit match! <hr width=50%/> :'''Flair''': ''(shouting at Melina while grinding a barbed wired baseball bat into Mick Foley's eye)'' I'll kill you too, you stupid bitch! <hr width=50%/> :'''Flair''': ''(after Melina throws in the towel to save Mick Foley from any more punishment from Flair)'' She... ''She'' does not quit for him. He quits! == [[w:SummerSlam (2009)|2009]] == :'''Josh Mathews''': Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guest at this time, CM Punk. Punk, tonight, you have an opportunity to become the World Heavyweight Champion once again. What are your thoughts going into this Tables, Ladders & Chairs match with Jeff Hardy? :'''CM Punk''': I would love to talk to you about that right now, Josh, but there's something else I want to bring up, and that's this. ''(Holds up a screenplay entitled "Live For The Moment: The Jeff Hardy Story")'' I had a friend at a fancy Hollywood agency the other day, and he ran across this little gem. Somebody actually took the time to write a screenplay about the Jeff Hardy story. So I was paging through it, and lo and behold, it culminates, of course, with Jeff conquering his demons and beating me here tonight in a TLC match at SummerSlam. What a great feelgood story, Josh, all except, of course, for the ending, which is not reality-based. It's fake, it's phony, just like everybody who lives in [[w:Los Angeles|this town]]. I'd go as far as to say that ''I'm'' the only real person in this building right now. I wish I could say it's a Los Angeles epidemic, but the fact is it's worldwide. You have people that falsely idolize what they see in movies and on television; you have housewives in Iowa that subscribe to ''U.S. Weekly'', ''US Weekly'', or whatever it's called, so they can model their hair after Kate Gosselin, instead of helping their own children with their homework; you have little kids all over the world, millions of them, who idolize the "hip, cool star", and it doesn't matter if that hip cool star is some dork vampire in ''Twilight'', or if it's Jeff Hardy. It doesn't matter if that hip cool star has a reprehensible, reckless lifestyle. You know, it doesn't matter if the collective intelligence of this entire country continues to spiral downward, day in and day out. It doesn't matter as long as it's ''cool'', right? You know why they don't make movies about a guy like me? It's cause I don't support your poisoned society. I don't support this...this den of iniquity known as Hollywood. No, instead, I'm dismissed as being preachy, except I'm not preachy—I never have been. I just tell the truth. You know, I'm not a screenwriter either, but tonight I think I'll take a stab at it. Tonight I'm gonna rewrite the ending of "The Jeff Hardy Story". It's gonna be horrifying. It's gonna be very, very graphic. It might be hard to watch for a lot of people, but it will have a happy ending: ''new'' World Heavyweight Champion—CM Punk. ''[He drops the screenplay and walks away]'' <hr width=50%> :'''Todd Grisham:''' NO! [After Jeff Hardy delivers a Swanton Bomb to CM Punk off a ladder] OH MY GOD I DON'T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW! == [[w:SummerSlam (2010)|2010]] == :'''[[w:Mike Mizanin|The Miz]]''': So I guess the question is: should I join team WWE or not? Hm… it’s a good question. What do you think? Do you all think that I should join team WWE? ''(crowd cheers)'' Well it’s a good thing I could care less about what you people think. Because the opinion in the locker room is that I am the missing link. I’m the missing puzzle piece, I’m the missing link in the chain that will lead team WWE to victory. You all saw it. Last Monday night on ''Raw'' Bret Hart and John Cena both asked me to be on team WWE. But what you didn’t see is what happened earlier today when I arrived at Staples Center. John Cena came up to me and he admitted that he’s been wrong about what he has been saying about the Miz. John Cena got down on his knees and begged me to be a part of team WWE, saying without me they can’t do it. John Cena literally said I’m the only superstar that can see him. Bret “The Hitman” Hart, a Hall of Famer, said I was the real Excellence of Execution, that I am the best there is, was and ever will be. Chris Jericho gave me his band CD Fozzy and I graciously accepted it but then threw it in the trash… My former Tag Team partner John Morrison finally said he is the Marty Jannetty of our former tag team and I am the Shawn Michaels, only better. Edge gave me a year’s supply of Slim Jims, R-Truth wrote me a crappy rap… As you can see everyone has admitted that they needed me on team WWE, except ALL OF YOU. ''(crowd boos)'' The WWE Universe needs to realize I am the fastest rising star, that I am WWE's new hope -no I am WWE's only hope. ''(crowd boos)'' I am the future. You get me people? I AM THE FUTURE, this face, I am the United States Champion, I’m a future WWE Champion. You people need to realize that. But I guess we need to get to the big decision. What’s it gonna be Miz? This decision is bigger than the Pepsi Challenge, it’s bigger than Arnold Schwarzenegger starring in Terminator 5, it is bigger (laughs) than the LeBron James spectacle on ESPN – which will ultimately lead to the Lakers losing the NBA Championship. ''(crowd boos)'' The question is: am I going to join team WWE? The answer is … yes. I will join team WWE and I will lead them to victory. The WWE Universe will not be talking they will not be buzzing about the Nexus… no, they won’t be looking up to their hero John Cena, no, you will be saying, you will be admitting to what I’ve been saying all along: that I am the Miz, and I’m… -no, no, no, no, no. You don’t get to do my catchphrase. If any of you have anything to say to me, you raise your hand and you wait, you wait to be called upon. Until then I want absolute silence. ''(crowd boos)'' … Because I’m the Miz and I’M AWESOME! <hr width=50%/> :'''Michael Cole''': ''[as the Miz enters]'' Yes, the man I believe is going to be the key to Team WWE. :'''John Cena''': Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold it, hold up. Wait a second. Miz, I got news for you: you're way, way, way too late. We realize how important this match is to WWE and we couldn't rely on somebody who was gonna make their decision the day ''of'' SummerSlam. So we all have gone out and found a seventh member of Team WWE. It's not you. As a matter of fact, it's somebody that hates the Nexus just as much as all of us. The seventh member of Team WWE is Daniel Bryan. :'''Michael''': What? :'''Jerry''': Daniel Bryan? :'''Michael''': ''[as Bryan walks down the aisle]'' You've gotta be kidding me! :'''Jerry''': It ''is'' Daniel Bryan! :'''Michael''': This is ridiculous! This is a huge mistake! Daniel Bryan was the Miz's rookie on NXT, and now he's part of Team WWE! And here we go! :''[Team WWE charges into the ring]'' :'''Matt Striker''': Here we go! The American Dragon has arrived at SummerSlam! == [[w:SummerSlam (2011)|2011]] == :'''The Miz''': Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand, the most must-see WWE Champion of ALL TIME, the Miz has returned to SummerSlam! I just wanna take this time to thank each and every one of you for your insistence that I compete tonight and for your unwavering support. So now I want you to sit back and relax and watch as I steal the show like only I can because... :''[Interrupted by R-Truth's single entry quote as he comes down the aisle]'' :'''Michael Cole''': Now that was pretty rude. :'''R-Truth''': Yo, Miz! I don't know why you wanna thank these people here in Los Angeles. You know how I hate spiders, Miz? You see, spiders start with the letter S... ''[Audience yells "WHAT?!"]''...just like SummerSlam starts with the letter S. ''[WHAT?!]'' Don't "what" me! ''[What?!]'' And singing at SummerSlam is Cee-Lo Green. ''[WHAT?!]'' You know what else starts with the letter C? ''[WHAT?!]'' Conspiracy. You see what I mean?! ''[WHAT?!]'' Next time y'all "what" me... :''[Interrupted by Alberto Del Rio's music, who drives in in a [[w:Ferrari California|Ferrari California]]]'' :'''Jerry "The King" Lawler''': This is SummerSlam, I thought we were on ''Sesame Street'' there for a minute. :'''Booker T''': Wow, just in time. :'''Michael''': You're on a street paved with gold now. <hr width=50%/> :'''John Laurinaitis''': I want you to tell me directly that that kick was accidental, 'cause I will not allow you to impugn my integrity or challenge my authority as Executive Vice President of Talent Relations. So I want a public apology for what happened last Monday night right now. :'''CM Punk''': ''[mockingly]'' I'm sorry. Please forgive me and humbly accept my apology, Mr. John Laurinaitis, Senior Executive of Talent Relations... :'''Laurinaitis''': Executive Vice President. :'''CM Punk''': Executive Vice President of Talent Relations. I'm sorry. :''[He makes a few faces and Laurinaitis walks away. He turns around to find Stephanie McMahon]'' :'''Stephanie McMahon''': I just came to wish you luck tonight. :'''CM Punk''': ''[looking over his shoulders]'' You came here to wish ''me'' luck? :'''Stephanie''': I did. :'''CM Punk''': I find that hard to believe. Why don't you go run along and talk to your husband, the new COO of WWE; or you know, better yet, why don't you go wish your daddy luck? I mean, I know he doesn't run day-to-day operations around here anymore—thank God!—but I know he's still chairman of the board. :'''Stephanie''': Well, I actually did speak to both my husband and my father and, believe it or not, they both wish you luck too, as well as John Cena. But what would I know? I'm just Vince McMahon's clueless daughter, right? :'''CM Punk''': Yeah, more or less, you're pretty clueless, but I didn't say it, you did. I called you idiotic. :'''Stephanie''': ''[shrugging and extending her hand]'' Good luck. :'''CM Punk''': I would, but I know where that hand's been. <hr width=50%/> :'''R-Truth''': There's no way we shoulda lost that. It's a C-O-N...what do you think about this, Jimmy Hart? What do you think? :'''Jimmy Hart''': You know, Truth, I've been watching you. You know, you need somebody to take you to the top because...you're good, but you need somebody to take you to the top. Look what I've done—I've managed the Honky Tonk Man, I've had Money Inc., I've had the Hart Foundation. You need somebody to watch your back and, like I said again, take you to the top. You need somebody to watch over you to make sure you don't get got by the conspiracy. You need someone like me. You need me because you got think big. You gotta think big in this business. :'''R-Truth''': You make a lot of sense, Jimmy. A lot of sense. It's a big world, it's a big business. You ''gotta'' think big. Everything's big. I had it wrong all along. Think big and not little, Jimmy. :'''Jimmy''': Not little. :'''R-Truth''': Little Jimmy? You Little Jimmy? :'''Jimmy''': ''[scared]'' I'm not Little Jimmy. :'''R-Truth''': You smell like Little Jimmy! :'''Jimmy''': I don't smell...I'm not Little Jimmy! :'''R-Truth''': You talkin' 'bout Little Jimmy?! :'''Jimmy''': No, no, I wasn't. I wasn't. :'''R-Truth''': Where's Little Jimmy at?! :'''Jimmy''': ''[running away]'' I don't know where Little Jimmy is! :'''R-Truth''': Every time I turn around, Little Jimmy! Little Jimmy's conspiracies everywhere! Getting tired of this. ''[Turns to his right]'' What y'all lookin' at?! :''[He walks away as the camera turns to show Ron Artest and his daughter Diamond]'' :'''Diamond Artest''': ''[to Ron]'' And they say ''you'' need counseling? :'''Ron Artest''': It's okay. <hr width=50%/> :'''Jerry''': ''[on Daniel Bryan]'' I like the beard on him, I like the new look on Daniel Bryan... :'''Michael''': You know how long it took him to grow that beard? About two months! Actually, I believe he hasn't even shaved yet. Like, forever. :'''Jerry''': What is Daniel Bryan gonna have to do to make a believer out of you? Is there anything possible he can do to make you a Daniel Bryan fan? What? :'''Michael''': Yeah, quit. <hr width=50%/> :'''Edge''': As most of you probably know, ''[to Christian]'' as you know, ''[to random fans]'' as you know, as you know, heck, as you know, the WWE doctors...the WWE have told me that I'll never physically be cleared to compete here ever again. ''[Audience boos]'' Trust me, I booed too, okay? It was a bitter pill to swallow. But you know what? When I left, I was actually happy. I was happy. Here's the thing. Because I felt that I was part of passing the torch to Christian. I felt like...like maybe I opened the door a crack for you and you kicked it wide open and I was so proud of you. You finally became the World Heavyweight Champion and no one deserved it more than you. Hey, hear me out. Here's the thing. I thought it was unfair that Teddy Long made you defend the Championship five days after a ladder match. We both agreed on that. You didn't think it was fair, I didn't think it was fair. And then you came and you complained about it the next week, and the week after that, and the week after that, and the week after that, the week after that, the week after that, the week after that, so on, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on. You whined, you moaned, you asked for opportunity after opportunity, rematch after rematch, and you got it. You won back the World Heavyweight Championship—two-time World Heavyweight Champion. But you did it by disqualification? I mean, trust me, I did some horrible things in here, some really heinous things, but I always did it with style. I always did it with some panache. I wasn't boring. I didn't hide behind lawyers, I didn't hide behind suits and clipboards. Somewhere along the line, Christian, you became a disgrace to yourself. You're better than that, you know it. And I love ya. 'Til the day I die, you will be my best friend, that's never gonna change, but you need to hear this from me 'cause you're not gonna listen to it from anybody else—I didn't know my best friend would become a whining, crying, moaning little bitch. <hr width=50%/> :'''Michael''': Talking to one vet earlier on today when he...well, he compared Triple H as the COO and as the referee of this match-up akin to a police officer making an arrest, and then that same police officer also being the judge in the same case. A little conflict of interest perhaps, that's how many people view this. <hr width=50%/> :'''Michael''': ''[as CM Punk celebrates his win, becoming undisputed WWE Champion]'' What a SummerSlam, ladies and gentlemen, here tonight in Los Angeles. What a SummerSlam. ''[Punk turns around to find Kevin Nash, who clotheslines him] Wait a minute, oh my God! Who the hell?! Who the hell is that?! :'''Booker T''': What the hell? :'''Michael''': Kevin Nash! That's Kevin Nash! :''[Triple H walks back to the ring shocked]'' :'''Booker T''': You got to be kidding! That's my big homey! :'''Michael''': What is he doing here?! ''[Nash powerbombs Punk]'' Oh my God, the Jackknife Powerbomb! ''[Nash leaves through the audience as Triple H looks on in bewilderment. Meanwhile, Del Rio walks down with a referee and the briefcase]'' Oh my lo...OH MY GOD, Alberto Del Rio, Mr. Money in the Bank... :'''Booker T''': Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, my goodness. :'''Michael''': ...with a referee in tow! :'''Booker T''': Timing is everything! :''[Del Rio hands the briefcase to the referee, who orders the impromptu match to begin]'' :'''Michael''': Del Rio! Del Rio with the Money in the Bank contract! He's cashing it in! :'''Jerry''': ''[the bell rings]'' Alberto Del Rio cashing in his Money in the Bank contract! :'''Michael''': CM Punk... :'''Booker T''': I don't believe this. :'''Michael''': ...taken out by Nash! ''[Del Rio kicks Punk in the head]'' Del Rio, kick to the back of the head! The cover! ''[The ref counts to three]'' Oh, my lord! Del Rio's Champion! Del Rio's Champion! :'''Justin Roberts''': The winner of this match and NEW WWE Champion: Alberto Del Rio! :'''Jerry''': ''[as Del Rio celebrates, being handed the title]'' This is absolutely unbelievable! What a turn of events! :'''Michael''': Pandemomium at SummerSlam! :'''Booker T''': What this is, guys, this is destiny tonight for Alberto Del Rio! :'''Jerry''': But what was Kevin Nash doing here?! :'''Michael''': Triple H trying to figure out...trying to make sense of everything that has happened here. :'''Jerry''': As ''we'' are. This is total chaos. I think that Alberto Del Rio is now the undisputed WWE Champion. :'''Michael''': He is! He is! :'''Booker T''': Did you say "think"? Alberto Del Rio is the new WWE Champion here tonight at SummerSlam! He cashed it in! :'''Michael''': Triple H has no idea what's happened. Del Rio cashed in his Money in the Bank contract... :'''Jerry''': But he did it after CM Punk was laid out by Kevin Nash, who had...what the hell was he doing here?! Well, there's our undisputed Champion, Alberto Del Rio! What just happened?! == [[w:SummerSlam (2012)|2012]] == :'''Jerry "The King" Lawler''': ''[on the "YES!" chants]'' The chants are really getting to Daniel Bryan. :'''Michael Cole''': I'm gonna point out what I've been saying all along. This is extremely unfair for Daniel Bryan. The crowd's distracting him. :'''Jerry''': You just really can't make up your mind, can you? You're indecisive. I remember when you couldn't stand Daniel Bryan; now you're at the top of his fan club. :'''Michael''': Well, he's won me over. :'''Jerry''': I heard you've got a seven-year-old son you haven't named yet. Come on, make up your mind about things, Cole. <hr width=50%/> :'''Michael''': ''[after Triple H had tapped out to Brock Lesnar]'' You have to wonder if this is the end for Triple H. :''[Triple H can't find the words and walks back]'' :'''Jerry''': Wow, I think he just said goodbye. == [[w:SummerSlam (2013)|2013]] == :'''Damien Sandow''': Throughout literary history, there have been several prolific pairings. Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson; to dumb it down for all of you halfwits, Batman and Robin. Each duo had something in common—there was a leader and an inferior sidekick or lackey. Cody Rhodes was my sidekick, and tonight I send him back from whence he came, from his family of carnival clowns. SILENCE! Team Rhodes Scholars could have been the ultimate prolific pairing. But tonight, I send Cody back to the pairing he was destined for,with his father—Dumb and Dumber. You're welcome. <hr width=50%/> :'''Lilian Garcia''': And his opponent, from San...''[Alberto stops her and whispers into her ear]'' Ladies and gentlemen, Alberto Del Rio is insisting that I introduce him in Spanish. ''Desde San Luis Potosí, Mexico, pesando doscientos treinta y nueve libras. Él es el campeón de peso completo, Alberto Del Rio!'' :'''Jerry "The King" Lawler''': Lilian had better be careful. We know what happened to the [[w:Ricardo Rodriguez (wrestler)|''last'' ring announcer]] for Alberto Del Rio. <hr width=50%/> :''[Daniel Bryan hits a running knee on Cena]'' :'''Michael Cole''': Bryan for a cover, hook of the leg...''[Triple H counts to three]'' HE DID IT! DANIEL BRYAN DID IT! DANIEL BRYAN IS WWE CHAMPION! :'''Jerry''': Oh man! :'''Justin Roberts''': The winner of this match and NEW WWE Champion: Daniel Bryan! :'''Michael''': The fairytale has come true! The dream of a lifetime! The decade of perseverance and hard work has paid off! Daniel Bryan is on top of the world! :'''John "Bradshaw" Layfield''': It's said before, but they're right—miracles can happen! :'''Michael''': Daniel Bryan is WWE Champion! :'''Jerry''': The beard is here, and the Champ is here! <hr width=50%/> :'''Jerry''': This could be the year of the beard. :'''Loudspeaker''': I hear voices in my head... :'''Michael''': Oh my God. Oh my God! :'''JBL''': You've gotta be kidding me. :'''Michael''': Mr. Money in the Bank, Randy Orton, briefcase and contract in tow. :'''JBL''': Randy Orton's gonna cash in. :''[Randy stops before ringside]'' :'''Michael''': Is Randy Orton gonna ruin Bryan's moment? ''[Randy holds the briefcase up, takes a few steps toward the ring...]'' The Champ not backing down. ''[...then turns around and walks back]'' And Randy Orton with a little message, just a little reminder to the WWE Champion. :'''Jerry''': Yeah. "I'm still here." :'''Daniel Bryan''': ''[as Randy stops halfway up and turns around]'' YES! :'''Crowd''': ''[chanting]'' YES! :'''Jerry''': Wait a minute. :''[Triple H turns Daniel around, kicks him in the gut...]'' :'''Michael''': Oh my God! OH MY GOD! :'''JBL''': What are you doing?! :'''Michael''': What the hell?! ''[...and Pedigrees him. Randy enters the ring and hands the briefcase to Triple H.]'' Oh my God, no. Oh my God, no! Hunter, what are you doing?! :'''Triple H''': ''[handing the briefcase to the announcer]'' Ring the bell now. Ring it. :'''Michael''': Hunter, what are you doing? This match is underway. Bryan's out cold. ''[Randy turns Daniel onto his back and covers him.]'' Randy Orton...''[Triple H counts to three, with the crowd counting alongside him]'' Randy Orton has cashed in Money in the Bank. Randy Orton is a seven-time WWE Champion. :'''Justin''': The winner of this match and NEW WWE Champion: Randy Orton! :'''Jerry''': Oh my God! Triple H, wha...? :'''JBL''': What the hell just happened? :'''Michael''': ''[struggling to say it]'' It just isn't real. :'''JBL''': Talk about a damper on the party. This is the damnedest SummerSlam I've ever seen. :'''Michael''': You've gotta be kidding me. :'''JBL''': You can't help but feel bad for Daniel Bryan. :'''Michael''': Daniel Bryan...Daniel Bryan. :'''Jerry''': Well, you know what, guys? Look at it this way—Mr. McMahon just got ''his'' wish. He didn't want Cena to be Champion, and he sure as hell didn't want Daniel Bryan to be Champion. <hr width=50%/> :'''Jerry''': Randy Orton didn't even have to do a thing. After that Pedigree, he just turned Daniel Bryan over, covered him, and the Game counted 1-2-3; we got a new WWE Champion. What on Earth have we just witnessed? What does this mean?! What's gonna happen?! == [[w:SummerSlam (2014)|2014]] == :'''The Miz''': In a summer dominated with [[w:Transformers: Age of Extinction|talking robots]], [[w:Dawn of the Planet of the Apes|talking monkeys]], and [[w:Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014 film)|talking Ninja Turtles]], tonight, you are blessed in be in a presence with a real-life, non-CGI movie star. A man who possesses something that [[w:Guardians of the Galaxy (film)|Drax the Destroyer]] to [[w:Hercules (2014 film)|Hercules]] to every single person in this town wishes they had—''[points to his face]'' this, the moneymaker. See, tonight, I wanna make Dolph Ziggler go from a bright, shiny star that everybody's been talking about, to an unrecognizable failure. In other words, I'm gonna make WWE Dolph Ziggler, Superstar, the WWE version of the Lakers. <hr width=50%/> :'''Michael Cole''': ''[on Maria Menounos]'' She once called me her favorite host of all time at WrestleMania. :'''Jerry "The King" Lawler''': What? :'''John "Bradshaw" Layfield''': She later admitted that she was under the influence. <hr width=50%/> :'''JBL''': On Paige's 22nd birthday, she becomes a 2-time Divas Champion! :'''Jerry''': Guys, we've had two matches and two title changes here tonight. :'''Michael''': What an incredible performance by Paige, and what a counter, guys, of AJ's Black Widow submission maneuver. :'''JBL''': What an incredible SummerSlam so far! Happy birthday, Paige! :''[Paige sits a barely conscious AJ up and hugs her, gives her a kiss, and shoves her back down. She skips around the ring]'' :'''Jerry''': Look at...look at this. :'''JBL''': Paige ''does'' have affection, she ''does'' love AJ. :'''Jerry''': Come on, this is... As you said, Michael, that's a little creepy. :'''Michael''': Whack-job. :'''JBL''': Champion. <hr width=50%/> :'''Michael''': What a specimen. ''[Brock picks up Cena over his shoulders]'' Oh, my God, Cena on top. Brock Lesnar. Brock Lesnar going for the F-5. ''[Lesnar hits the F-5 and covers Cena]'' For the Championship, Lesnar with the cover. ''[Referee counts to three]'' Lesnar has won the WWE World Title in convincing fashion! :'''Justin Roberts''': The winner of this match...and NEW WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Brock Lesnar! :'''JBL''': That is the most dominating performance I have ever seen in a championship match in my life. :'''Michael''': It wasn't even close. :'''JBL''': My God. :'''Michael''': Lesnar has conquered John Cena. :'''JBL''': Lesnar destroyed a 15-time World Champion, he destroyed the Streak. This man, Brock Lesnar, is unstoppable. <hr width=50%/> :'''Michael''': This was a merciless assault. :'''JBL''': I think Brock could've ended it earlier. He just didn't want to. I never dreamed I would see this happen to John Cena. :'''Michael''': What a 2014 for Brock Lesnar - the most dominant year of any athlete here in WWE! He stops the undefeated streak at WrestleMania of the Undertaker, and he slays John Cena! :'''Paul Heyman''': ''[to Brock]'' You are the conqueror, and you've conquered the WWE Universe! == [[w:SummerSlam (2015)|2015]] == :'''[[Jon Stewart]]''': You know, I've spent the last 16 years talking about politics; it's nice to be back in reality. <hr width=50%/> :'''Xavier Woods''': Brooklyn, now, we know that your city is used to feeling filthy and disgusting, so we brought you some positivity. I mean, look at how clean we are. Everybody, get your cameras out and see how good we look! :'''John "Bradshaw" Layfield''': They are clean. :'''Kofi Kingston''': You see, today, we're gonna teach up about a little something called hip...hop, something that New York doesn't know anything about. Y'all don't know nothing about hip-hop, because hip-hop originated in the South. :'''Xavier''': [[w:Yeah! (Usher song)|Peace up, A-Town down!]] :'''Kofi''': So it goes a little something like this. ''[The New Day enters the ring]'' Hold on now, come on, come on. You know Jay-Z's tried this, but Jay-Z failed. The good news is the New Day's about to make it a whole lot better. All right, pitch pipes to C. Pitch pipes to C. :'''Big E''': Got it. :''[The New Day blows into their pipes]'' :'''Kofi''': ''[to tune of "[[w:Empire State of Mind|Empire State of Mind]]"] Let's hear it for New Day'' :'''Xavier''': ''Negativity won't affect us :'''Kofi''': ''Clap 'cause it's infectious'' :'''Xavier''': ''Let's hear it for New Day'' :'''Big E''': ''All those other tag teams are booty'' :''Yeah, I said booty'' :'''Xavier''': ''Let's hear it for New Day'' :'''New Day''': ''New Day, New Daaa...[brief stop for breath]...aaayyyyy'' :... :'''JBL''': Jay-Z's gonna sign those guys if he can afford 'em. <hr width=50%/> :'''Xavier''': Tricep meat all day long! Big E's got the market cornered on tricep meat! You can't even get a hamburger in WWE because Big E sells nothing but tricep meat! :'''JBL''': That's what happens when you have a Ph.D, Michael—you've got a lot to say like Xavier Woods. <hr width=50%/> :'''Jon''': Paul Heyman, I'm a big fan. I call you the Apex Orator. :'''Paul Heyman''': Thank you. I consider that a compliment. :'''Jon''': It is a compliment. May I have a word with Mr. Lesnar? :'''Paul''': Now's not really a good time. :'''Jon''': Because I'm an Undertaker guy, is that what this is? :'''Paul''': Well...that's not the only reason, but if I may. What happened when your ''guy'' fought my Beast, what do you got to say about that? :'''Jon''': You're pretty happy about that, right? The victory. You know who wasn't happy about that? Wrestling fans. See, that's what I am; I'm a wrestling fan. And the Undertaker had perfection. He had a streak that hadn't been seen, 21-0. You know who people remember? [[w:Joe DiMaggio|Joe DiMaggio]] and [[w:Hitting streak|his streak]]. You know who they ''don't'' remember? [[w:Ken Keltner|The guy who ended that streak]]. So let me ask you something. When you watched WrestleMania, were you happy to see the fans' faces, the disappointment and the sadness of those people who paid good money to come out and see perfection? But there you were as the advocate, rubbing salt, salt in the wound of every wrestling fan everywhere. They came out there to WrestleMania that day hoping to see magic, perfection. It was Christmas morning, they had that present, they opened it up, and they didn't get a puppy. You know what they got, you know what you gave them, you and the guy with the head and the shoulders and the dagger on the chest? You know what you gave them? Coal. Are you happy about that? What do you have to say about that? :'''Paul''': ''[to tune of "Battle Hymn of the Republic"] Glory, glory, Brock Lesnar'' :''Glory, glory, Brock Lesnar'' :I guess we couldn't get David Letterman to host the show tonight. <hr width=50%/> :''[As Jon Stewart runs into the Cena-Rollins match with a chair, between the two]'' :'''JBL''': What is Jon Stewart doing? :'''Jerry "The King" Lawler''': Jon Stewart? :'''JBL''': He told Cena in the pre-show, "if you need any help, I'm there." :'''Michael''': Well, remember Stewart's had major issues with Rollins on his old ''Daily Show''. :'''Jerry''': Jon, don't do this. You cannot do this. :'''JBL''': Jon Stewart has no business being in there, none. It's a World Championship match, get him out of there! :'''Jerry''': I can't believe this. :'''Michael''': Cena has no idea what's going on, he can't even see. ''[Jon rams Cena in the stomach with the chair]'' Oh, come on! What the hell did he do that for?! :''[Jon throws the chair at Seth's feet and scurries out of the ring. Seth hits the Pedigree on Cena]'' :'''Jerry''': Jon Stewart, what have you done?! :'''Michael''': Pedigree on the chair! A Pedigree on the chair! ''[Rollins tosses the chair out and covers Cena]'' Rollins is gonna win the US Title! You gotta be kidding me! :'''JBL''': What did Jon Stewart do that for?! :'''Michael''': Not like this! :''[Chad Patton counts to three]'' :'''JBL''': Why would he do that?! :'''Michael''': Rollins has made history thanks to Jon Stewart! :'''Lilian Garcia''': Ladies and gentlemen, your United States and WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Seth Rollins! :'''JBL''': The hell did we just see?! :'''Jerry''': The host of SummerSlam just helped Seth Rollins win! :'''Michael''': Seth Rollins, the first man to hold the United States Title and the WWE World Title, but what did we just see? <hr width=50%> :'''Michael''': Jon Stewart has gone from ''Daily Show'' host to SummerSlam criminal here tonight. :'''JBL''': Maybe SummerSlam hero; depends on your perspective, Michael. :'''Jerry''': Oh, come on, that wasn't right and you know it, John. == [[w:Summerslam (2016)|2016]] == :'''Big Cass''': New York City! :''[crowd cheers]'' :'''Big Cass''': How you doin'? :'''Enzo Amore''': This match is dedicated to all the teachers that told us we never amount to nothing. To all the people in the building hustling trying to make some money on feeding their daughter, and all the people in the struggle, you know what I'm saying? :'''Cass''': It's all good, baby, baby! :'''Enzo''': It was all a dream and that dream has become a reality! How you doin'? There was once a man who stood on the other side of the Hudson River who went by Ol' Blue Eyes. And when he sang "New York, New York", he knew he was looking at the greatest city in the world, and he knew full well if you can make it here, then you can make it anywhere. :'''Cass''': ''[singing]'' It's up to you, New York, New York! :''[crowd cheers]'' :'''Enzo''': And young blue eyes right in this ring and that seven-footer standing next to me, right now we're in an Empire State of Mind, baby. And we are living proof that bright lights can inspire you. So, with that being said, allow me to quote a great from right here in Brooklyn, New York, a notorious New Yorker, Biggie Smalls. Biggie Smalls said, "Mo' money, mo' problems." Well then Jeri-KO, you're looking at a couple problems cause me and Big Cass are walking, talking checks on the come up like the Michael Jordan silhouette. :'''Cass''': Jeri-KO, we've got 99 problems and you ain't one of them. You wanna come into our backyard and try to act hard? Well, no, no, no, no, no, because there's only ''[the crowd joins in]'' one word to describe you, and I'm gonna spell it out for ya! S-A-W-F-T! :'''Crowd''': SAWFT! == [[w:SummerSlam (2022)|2022]] == :'''Corey Graves''': I liked you better when you weren't allowed to have an opinion. :'''Michael Cole''': That's changed. A lot's changed. <hr width=50%/> ''[Brock Lesnar using a tractor to attempt flipping the ring]'' :'''Michael Cole''': Where the hell is he going? ''[the ring moves]'' :'''Corey Graves''': Oh, Jesus! :'''Michael Cole''': Corey, get the hell out of there! Brock Lesnar just moved the entire ring with a goddamn ''tractor!'' :'''Corey Graves''': I'm in Kid Rock's lap right now! God Almighty, what the hell is Lesnar doin'?! :'''Michael Cole''': Anything he wants! ''[Lesnar flips the ring]'' Lesnar's liftin' up the ''[Corey: OH, MY GOD!!!]'' ring with Roman Reigns in it! With a damn ''tractor!!'' REIGNS FALLS OUT OF THE ENTIRE RING!! :'''Corey Graves''': THIS IS ONE OF THE DAMNEDEST THINGS I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE! :'''Michael Cole''': I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS! EVER! BROCK LESNAR JUST LIFTED THE RING FIFTEEN FEET OFF THE GROUND WITH A DAMN TRACTOR!!!! <hr width=50%/> ''[Lesnar tries to beat the count of 10]'' :'''Michael Cole''': Corey, this is-- this- this is sickening. This is uncomfortable out here. :'''Corey Graves''': I-I-I-I'm speechless. :'''Michael Cole''': We're at a count of five. Roman Reigns is four ticks away from retaining his championship. A count of seven now. A count of eight, Brock Lesnar-- Look at the look in Lesnar's eyes! Lesnar back to a knee! Lesnar beats the count again! You gotta be ''kidding'' me! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! '''WHAT IS THIS MAN MADE OF?!?!?!?!''' :'''Corey Graves''': HE'S NOT HUMAN!!! ''[Reigns pummels Lesnar with the WWE Championship]'' :'''Michael Cole''': Reigns with the title off the face of Lesnar! That's ''gotta'' be it!! <big>'''FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, COUNT FASTER!!!'''</big> ==[[w:Summerslam (2024)|2024]]== ''[Dominik Mysterio and Liv Morgan kiss each other after Mysterio cost Rhea Ripley the Women's World Championship]'' :'''Michael Cole''': '''DOMINIK, YOU SORRY TWO-TIMING SON OF A BITCH!!!''' :'''Pat McAfee''': '''This piece of trash screwed over his dad, and now screws over his Mami as well!!!''' :'''Corey Graves''': Ain't love grand? :'''Michael Cole''': Rhea Ripley heartbroken. Guys, has this been a ruse for months? What the hell is going on here? :'''Pat McAfee''': You would assume that Dom can't think months in advance 'cause he's too dumb, but anything's possible with this piece of... :'''Michael Cole''': Well, just say it. I mean that's what he is. :'''Pat McAfee''': '''THIS PIECE OF SHIT!!!''' ==External links== {{wikipedia|SummerSlam}} [[Category:WWE TV shows]] [[Category:WWE]] 7vg9c8x84n4sprd0ktoz37aoq9zipq3 1 109889 3942152 3941804 2026-05-17T20:17:43Z ~2026-21258-26 3308661 /* Cast */ 3942152 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''[[w:The Fox and the Hound|The Fox and the Hound]]''''' is a [[w:1981 in film|1981]] American [[w:animation|animated]] [[w:drama film|drama film]] produced by [[w:Walt Disney Animation Studios|Walt Disney Productions]]. It is about a [[w:red fox|red fox]] named Tod and a [[w:hound|hound]] dog named Copper who meet when young and become friends, but later become enemies as they grow up. A sequel, ''[[The Fox and the Hound 2]]'', was released to DVD on December 12, 2006. :''Directed by [[w:Ted Berman|Ted Berman]], [[w:Richard Rich (filmmaker)|Richard Rich]], and [[w:Art Stevens|Art Stevens]]. Written by Larry Clemmons, Ted Berman, David Michener, Peter Young, [[w:Burny Mattinson|Burny Mattinson]], Steve Hulett, Earl Kress, and Vance Gerry. Loosely based on the [[w:The Fox and the Hound (novel)|novel of the same name]] by [[Daniel P. Mannix]].'' {{center|'''A story of two friends who didn't know they were supposed to be enemies.'''}} == Big Mama == *''[first line of the film]'' You poor little fella. It's all right. Big Mama's here. * My, my. Look at that. A fox and a hound, playing together. == Dialogue == :'''Dinky''': Good work, Boomer. We've got him this time. Shh! I think he's in there. :'''Big Mama''': Whew! Am I glad I found you boys. There's no time to lose. I need your help. Now come on. Come on. :'''Dinky''': Let's go, Boomer. Come on. :'''Boomer''': Yeah, but... Oh, shucks. Oh, poor little guy. :'''Big Mama''': Don't you worry now. We're going to find someone to look after you. :'''Dinky''': Hmm. Hmm. Hey, I think I got an idea. ''[Boomer chuckles]'' OK, Boomer, now you know what to do. :'''Boomer''': Yeah, leave it to me. Leave it to me. :'''Widow Tweed''': Who is it? Well, I was sure I heard someone knocking. ''[gasps]'' Oh, dear! My laundry! Oh, here! Stop it! Oh, you pesky birds! Will you come back here? Oh, stop! Well, I wonder what got into those birds. Well, bless my soul! Why, it's a baby fox. Oh. Hello, little fella. I wonder where its mother is. Come on, now. I'm not going to harm you. Now, now. Oh, isn't that? Oh, my, my. You're a feisty little rascal, aren't you? There, there, now. Calm down. No, I just can't leave you out here all alone. Oh, isn't he darling? Now, not so fast. Now, now, not so fast. Oh, my. You're such a little toddler. Say, that's what I'm going to call you. Tod. You know, Tod, I'm not going to be so lonesome anymore. :'''Amos Slade''': ''[to Chief]'' I got a surprise for you, Chief, old boy. Now, now, now, take it easy. Well, how's this for a hunting dog? He's just a little runt now, but he'll grow. You may as well get used to him, Chief. He's for you to look after from now on. :'''Widow Tweed''': ''[to Tod; Abigail angrily mooing]'' Tod, stop pesterin' Abigail. ''[to Abigail]'' Abigail, you're going to have to be patient with Tod. He's one of the family now. Oh, of course. ''[as she is milking Abigail]'' Now I know. I declare, I never will get my chores done. ''[to Tod; try to touched the one chick, the chicken squawking in alarm, Tod screams in scared with "Hillbilly Holla from [[Barnyard (film)|Barnyard (2006)]]" by North Mississippi Allstars music playing and starts to chasing Tod as moos alarms sound and knocked Widow Tweed]'' No! Mercy! Tod?! Tod, no, stop it! Your gonna peck! Tod! Tod, stop that! It's chasing Tod! ''['''Young Tod''': No! '''AAAAAGGGHHH!!''' Ow! You pecking me!]'' Stop it! I said, stop it! Abigail! Abigail! Oh, no! There goes my milk! OH, NO! ''[to Abigail]'' E-Z, E-Z, Abigail. Steady, old girl. Steady. There, there. Tod, you come here. I said come here! Just look what you've done. Now, don't try to butter me up. Oh, Tod, I just can't stay angry with you. You little imp. Now run along and play. Go on. And try to stay out of mischief. :'''Young Tod''': Hey, it's Dinky and Boomer. Maybe they wanna play. :'''Dinky''': Is this it, Boomer? :'''Boomer''': Sure, Dinky. This is the place. I never forget a tree. I never forget a tree. :'''Dinky''': He won't get away this time. Hold it, Boomer. I think I hear something. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Young Tod''': ''[Boomer accidentally pecks off the branch he's standing on and falls while he chases Squeeks]'' What happened to you? Golly! :'''Boomer''': Oh, shucks! I think I bent my beak. :'''Dinky''': ''[to Boomer; angrily]'' Now see what you done? You cost us our breakfast. :'''Boomer''': ''I'' cost us our breakfast? It was your fault. :'''Dinky''': What are you talking, my fault? :'''Young Tod''': ''[Dinky and Boomer begin to argue. Squeeks yawns]'' A worm for breakfast? Yuck! Blecch! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Young Tod''': I'm a fox. My name's Tod. What's your name, kid? :'''Young Copper''': Mine's Copper. I'm a hound dog. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Young Tod''': Copper, you're my very best friend. :'''Young Copper''': And you're mine too, Tod. :'''Young Tod''': And we'll always be friends forever, won't we? :'''Young Copper''': Yeah, forever. :'''Young Tod''': Hey, let's go swimming! :'''Young Copper''': Give me a head start and I can beat you! :'''Amos Slade''': Dagnabbit! That Copper pup's gone and strayed off again. ''[to Chief]'' Come on, Chief. If that little rascal's gonna make me a good hunting dog, he's gotta learn to mind. ''[he and Chief storm off into the forest to look for Copper. Copper hears Amos whistling for him while he swims with Tod]'' Copper, get over here! ''[whistles again]'' Copper! :'''Young Copper''': Uh-oh, I gotta go home. :'''Young Tod''': Do you have to? We're having too much fun. :'''Young Copper''': I gotta. He sounds awful mad. :'''Young Tod''': I'll see you tomorrow! And don't forget! :'''Young Copper''': I won't! :'''Young Tod''': Hey, Copper, what happened to you? Why didn't you...? ''[sees Copper with a rope tied behind his collar]'' Golly! You're all tied up. :'''Young Copper''': Yeah, and it's no fun either. The master says I gotta stay home. :'''Young Tod''': Well, we can play around here then. :'''Young Copper''': Oh, no. Not with old Chief over there. :'''Young Tod''': Is that him making that awful noise? :'''Young Copper''': He keeps me awake at night. ''[Tod foolishly goes into Chief's barrel to watch him sleeping]'' Oh, don't go in there! He can get awful mean! He's cranky. :'''Young Tod''': Gee-whillikers, is he ever big. His ears isn't as big as yours, Copper. :'''Young Copper''': That's not the part you gotta worry about. :'''Young Tod''': ''[foolishly checks Chief's teeth]'' Wow! Look at those teeth. :'''Young Copper''': ''That's'' the part you gotta worry about! :'''Chief''': I'm gaining on him. He won't get away now. :'''Young Copper''': He's waking up! Get out, Tod! :'''Young Tod''': No, he's having a dream. He's chasing something. :'''Chief''': When I get him cornered... It's a big old badger. :'''Young Tod''': ''[chuckles]'' Copper, he's chasing a badger. :'''Chief''': No, no, it ain't a badger. It's a fox. ''[notices Tod]'' '''A FOX?''' :'''Young Copper''': Run, Tod! Run! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Widow Tweed''': ''[hears a shot; shocked]'' Tod! ''[Amos shoots his gun, but misses Tod]'' Amos Slade, you trigger-happy lunatic! '''Give me that gun!''' ''[takes Amos' gun and angrily shoots the radiator of Amos' truck, which hisses]'' :'''Amos Slade''': My radiator! Why, you blasted female. I'll... I'll... :'''Widow Tweed''': ''[aims the gun at him]'' Hold it right there! :'''Amos Slade''': Watch it! That thing's loaded! :'''Widow Tweed''': ''[shoots the last bullet in the air]'' Now it ain't loaded! ''[tosses the empty gun back to Amos, who throws it into his truck]'' :'''Amos Slade''': Dagnabbit, woman! Your thieving fox was after my chickens! :'''Widow Tweed''': Rubbish and poppycock! I don't believe it. He wouldn't hurt a thing. :'''Amos Slade''': You calling me a liar, you muddleheaded female? I saw it happen! :'''Widow Tweed''': Amos Slade, that temper of yours is going to get you into a lot of trouble someday. :'''Amos Slade''': Temper? Temper, woman? You ain't seen my temper! ''[throws his hat to the ground and stomps on it]'' If I ever catch that fox on my property again, I'll blast him! And next time, I won't miss! :'''Widow Tweed''': Poor little tyke. It's a shame I have to keep him cooped up. Tod, stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault, you know. You caused a lot of trouble yesterday. Oh, now what are they up to? Why, it looks like Amos is going on a hunting trip. A long one, from the looks of it. Hmm. Well, good riddance! :'''Amos Slade''': ''[tries to fix his truck up]'' Doggone meddling female, shooting up my radiator! Dad blame it. ''[kicks his truck in the front]'' Get going! ''[his truck finally works right]'' There. Well, that's more like it. Keep running, old girl. Well, Copper, me and old Chief are gonna teach you all about hunting. Yes, sir. It's about time too. Attaboy. Yeah, you're gonna like tracking down those varmints for me. :'''Chief''': Uh-uh. Get in the back, half-pint. You gotta earn your right to sit up front. :'''Amos Slade''': Well, boys, we're getting out of here till next spring. :'''Big Mama''': Tod, honey, what are you doing over here? :'''Young Tod''': Gee, I just wanted to say goodbye to Copper, but I'm too late. :'''Big Mama''': Well, what did you plan to do if you ran into old Chief? :'''Young Tod''': Ah, Chief. I can outfox that dumb old dog anytime. :'''Big Mama''': Tod, now hold it just one minute. Didn't you learn anything yesterday? Now you listen good, because it's either education or elimination. Now if you're so foxy and old Chief's so dumb, then why does that hound get the fox on the run? 'Cause he's got the hunter, and the hunter's got the gun. Ka-bam! Elimination. Lack of education. If you pal around with that Copper hound, you'll wind up hanging on the wall. Keep your nose to the wind and you'll keep your skin 'cause you won't be home when the hunter comes to call. :'''Young Tod''': Oh, Big Mama, I know Copper would never track me down. Why, old Copper, he's my best friend. :'''Big Mama''': Your best friend. Now, Copper's gonna do what he's been told. Supposed to chase the little old fox into the old foxhole, then along comes the hunter with a buckshot load. :'''Boomer''': Ka-ka-ka-bam! :'''Big Mama''': Elimination. :'''Dinky''': Lack of education. :'''Big Mama''': You better believe it, Tod. Yes, sirree! :'''Young Tod''': You mean Copper is gonna be my enemy? :'''Dinky''': Hey! Kid, you better step over here and take a good look. :'''Young Tod''': Why, that's awful. Those poor things. :'''Big Mama''': I'm sorry, Tod. Honey, Copper's gonna come back a trained hunting dog. A real killer. :'''Young Tod''': Oh, no, not my friend Copper. He won't ever change. :'''Big Mama''': I hope you're right, Tod. :'''Young Tod''': And we'll keep on being friends forever, won't we, Big Mama? :'''Big Mama''': Darling, forever is a long, long time, and time has a way of changing things. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Amos Slade''': Aw, come on, Chief. Just 'cause you're not sitting up front, that ain't no reason to be a sorehead. Shucks, if it weren't for you, Copper'd never have turned into a good hunting dog. Yes, sirree. Now I got me the best two dogs there is. Right, Copper? Isn't he something, Chief? :'''Tod''': Look, Big Mama! Copper's back! Boy, has he grown big. :'''Big Mama''': Uh-huh. And look at that big pile of skins he helped track down. :'''Tod''': I know, Big Mama. He's a hunting dog now. :'''Big Mama''': You're right. And you're a fox. :'''Tod''': Ah, that won't make any difference. Copper's gonna be glad to see me. :'''Big Mama''': Well, honey, just don't get your hopes too high. :'''Tod''': Look, don't worry. I'll be careful. I'll go tonight when Chief and the hunter are asleep. :'''Copper''': Boy, it's great to be back home, isn't it, Chief? Aw, come on, Chief. You aren't still sore, are you? Hey, hey, come on. Let's scuffle. We ain't scuffled in a long time. Come on, Chief! Let's have some fun! :'''Chief''': Oh, lay off, Copper, you overgrown pup. Oh, let go! Dagnabbit! Let go, I say! :'''Copper''': Oh, OK, OK. :'''Chief''': You know, that was your trouble on the hunt. :'''Copper''': Aw, come on, old-timer. You treat me like a pup, you know that? Why, I think I done real good tracking down them varmints for you. :'''Chief''': Smelling and tracking ain't enough. You gotta think nasty. :'''Copper''': OK, OK, I know. I know. :'''Tod''': Copper. Hey, Copper. It's me, Tod. :'''Copper''': ''[upon seeing Tod]'' I thought that was you, Tod. I heard you coming. Boy, you've really grown. :'''Tod''': You have too, Copper. I saw you coming back with Chief and the hunter. :'''Copper''': It's great to see you, Tod. ''[looks back at Chief, who is trying to sleep]'' But, you know, you shouldn't be over here. You're gonna get us both into a lot of trouble. :'''Tod''': Hey, look, I just wanted to see you. We're still friends, aren't we? :'''Copper''': Tod, those days are over. I'm a hunting dog now. You'd better get out of here before old Chief wakes up. :'''Tod''': ''[chuckles]'' Oh, Chief. He doesn't worry me. :'''Copper''': Tod, I'm serious. You're fair game as far as he's concerned. ''[Chief awakens and barks at Tod. Copper gasps. Amos opens the door as Tod runs]'' :'''Amos Slade''': ''[shocked; angrier]'' IT'S THAT FOX AGAIN! :'''Widow Tweed''': Oh, no! No! They're after Tod! :'''Amos Slade''': After him, boys! Go get him! Copper! Copper! Copper! :'''Copper''': Tod, I don't wanna see you get killed. :'''Amos Slade''': Track him down, boy! :'''Copper''': I'll let you go this one time. :'''Amos Slade''': Don't lose him! There they are! Old Chief's got him on the run! ''[a train suddenly approaches]'' Jump, Chief! Jump! ''[Chief jumps and breaks his leg]'' :'''Copper''': Chief! Chief? Oh, no! No! Tod, if it's the last thing I do, I'll get you for this! :'''Widow Tweed''': Tod! Tod? Tod! Oh, Tod! Thank heaven you're safe. :'''Copper''': ''[after Chief's train accident, Amos storms over to Widow's house]'' Oh, poor Chief. I'm so sorry Chief, I'm so sorry, And it's all my fault. I shouldn't have let Tod go. :'''Dinky''': Big Mama! Wake up! Wake up! There's trouble! :'''Widow Tweed''': ''[Tod wakes up and fearfully hides behind the stove]'' Tod, what is it? ''[Amos bangs on the door]'' What on Earth? :'''Amos Slade''': Widow, get out here! :'''Widow Tweed''': ''[opens the door]'' Why, Amos?! What are you...? :'''Amos Slade''': Where is he? *Where* is he?! I know he's in there. :'''Widow Tweed''': ''[pushing Amos]'' Now just a minute. You can't come barging onto my property, Amos Slade! ''[slams the door]'' :'''Amos Slade''': That fox of yours almost killed Chief, and I'm gonna get him! ''[Tweed latches the door]'' You can't keep him locked up forever! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Mr. Digger''': Hold it, sonny! Back off! Consarn it! Where do you think you're going? :'''Tod''': Oh, excuse me, I was just trying to... :'''Mr. Digger''': You barge in on somebody's house like you own it. Tarryhooting around them woods, waking up folks in the middle of the night. :'''Tod''': I honestly didn't know anybody lived here, and I... :'''Mr. Digger''': Well, you know it now. Now get off my property! Go on! Beat it! :'''Porcupine''': ''[to Tod]'' I've been watching you, sir. You can stay with me if you want to. :'''Tod''': That's very nice of you. :'''Porcupine''': Come with me. :'''Amos Slade''': She dropped that fox off at the game preserve. We'll get him. We'll get him. :'''Chief''': Well, now, if you gotta have a busted leg, this is the way to do it. Good food, soft pillow, warm stove. Sure beats sleeping in that barrel. Well, now, here comes visitors to see the invalid. How do you like that? They didn't even ask how I'm feeling. :'''Amos Slade''': Chief, get back in there before I break your other leg. Copper, Copper, look it here. Now, when that fox comes traipsing along, suspecting nothing... :'''Big Mama''': Tod? Tod? Oh, boy. These old wings ain't what they used to be. Big Mama, you better lose a few pounds. Uh-oh, there he is. Tod! Tod! :'''Vixey''': Oh, hi, Big Mama. :'''Big Mama''': Oh, it's you, Vixey. :'''Vixey''': Hey, what brings you way out here? :'''Big Mama''': I'm looking for a fox named Tod. He's new here in the forest. :'''Vixey''': Oh, new? Well, what does he look like? :'''Big Mama''': Oh, he's young. About your age. And handsome. :'''Vixey''': Handsome? Oh, say. Gee, he sure sounds nice. I'm not doing anything. I'll help you find him. :'''Big Mama''': Come on. He's gotta be around here somewhere. :'''Tod''': ''[Porcupine yawns]'' Wham? What happened? Where am I? :'''Mr. Digger''': So, it's you again, hmm? You barged in on me last night, and now you... :'''Tod''': I didn't mean to. :'''Mr. Digger''': Just look at the mess you made. Dagnabbit, you clumsy bonehead! :'''Tod''': I'm sorry. It was an accident. :'''Mr. Digger''': Excuses, excuses. :'''Porcupine''': Mr. Digger, sir? It was so too an accident. :'''Mr. Digger''': You keep out of this, you walking pincushion. :'''Porcupine''': You shouldn't be so grumpy to someone who's new in the neighborhood. :'''Mr. Digger''': A stranger, eh? Why don't you go back where you came from? :'''Tod''': Wham? :'''Mr. Digger''': Well, go on. Get going. Git! <hr width="50%"/> :''[Tod struggles to get up but falls]'' :'''Copper''': Tod? :'''Amos Slade''': ''[angrily to Copper]'' C'mon, Copper. Get outta away. ''[Copper stands his ground. Amos keeps his gun aimed at Tod. With a sigh, he lowers his gun]'' Well, come on, boy. Let's go home. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Amos Slade''': Ouch! You're killing me! Ouch! :'''Widow Tweed''': Amos Slade, will you hold still? You're behaving like a child. :'''Amos Slade''': Well, for gosh sakes, you're hurting my foot, woman! :'''Widow Tweed''': Nonsense! Your foot is mending fine. You'll soon be yourself. Oh, land sakes. I don't know if I like that. ''[laughs]'' :'''Amos Slade''': Ow! Be careful! Ouch! :'''Chief''': He's sure making a big fuss over a little old hurt leg. ''[a sleeping Copper remembers good times with Tod]'' :'''Young Tod''': Copper? You're my very best friend. :'''Young Copper''': And you're mine too, Tod. :'''Young Tod''': And we'll always be friends forever, won't we? :'''Young Copper''': Yeah, forever. == About ''The Fox and the Hound'' == * I'd seen that movie before. It was nothing new or fresh or risky in there; it was another "churn 'em out." ** [[w:Don Bluth|Don Bluth]] [http://www.ign.com/articles/2000/06/13/interview-with-don-bluth-part-1-of-3 ''Interview with Don Bluth'', ''IGN'' (2000)] == Cast == * [[w:Mickey Rooney|Mickey Rooney]] - Tod ** [[w:Keith Coogan|Keith Mitchell]] - Young Tod * [[w:Kurt Russell|Kurt Russell]] - Copper ** [[w:Corey Feldman|Corey Feldman]] - Young Copper * [[w:Pearl Bailey|Pearl Bailey]] - Big Mama, Abigail the Cow * [[w:Jack Albertson|Jack Albertson]] - Amos Slade * [[w:Sandy Duncan|Sandy Duncan]] - Vixey * [[w:Jeanette Nolan|Jeanette Nolan]] - Widow Tweed * [[w:Pat Buttram|Pat Buttram]] - Chief * [[w:John Fiedler|John Fiedler]] - The Porcupine * [[w:John McIntire|John McIntire]] - Mr. Digger * [[w:Richard Bakalyan|Dick Bakalyan]] - Dinky * [[w:Paul Winchell|Paul Winchell]] - Boomer * [[w:John Stephenson|John Stephenson]] - Squeeks the Caterpillar, Tod's Dad/Percy, Farm Animals * [[w:Jimmy MacDonald|Jimmy MacDonald]] - The Bear * [[w:Lisa Vischer|Lisa Vischer]] - Tod's Mom/Melanie == External links == {{wikipedia}} * {{Official website|http://movies.disney.com/the-fox-and-the-hound}} * {{IMDb title|0082406}} * {{Amg movie|82415}} * {{Mojo title|foxandthehound}} * {{Rotten-tomatoes|fox_and_the_hound}} {{Authority control}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Fox and the Hound, The}} [[Category:1981 animated films]] [[Category:1980s American animated films]] [[Category:Traditionally animated films]] [[Category:American children's animated drama films]] [[Category:American coming-of-age films]] [[Category:Drama films]] [[Category:Films about dogs]] [[Category:Films about foxes]] [[Category:Films about bears]] [[Category:Animated films about bears]] [[Category:Films based on American novels]] [[Category:Films directed by Richard Rich]] [[Category:The Walt Disney Company]] moae5oh4iyi5nz5ylj90sj4d16mql0o 0 113514 3942145 3906782 2026-05-17T19:37:39Z ~2026-29767-22 3323712 /* Cast */ 3942145 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties|Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties]]''''' is a [[w:2006 in film|2006]] theatrical sequel to the 2004 [[w:live-action|live-action]]/[[w:computer-animated|computer-animated]] [[w:feature film|feature film]] ''[[Garfield: The Movie]]''. It features [[Bill Murray]] as the voice of Garfield and [[Tim Curry]] as the voice of Prince. ==Garfield== * 13 hours in a bag with a farting dog? * Oh, dear. Why is it the weird ones always go for the cat and not the dog? * Odie, no! Don't do the ugly-American thing! * Liz is a girl. No, worse. She's a girl-vet. ==Prince== * ''[holds up lasagna plate]'' Please, sir, may I have some more? * Oh, dear heaven. Why is it the weird ones always go for the cat and not the dog? * Garfield? What the devil is a Garfield? * What ho!? ==Dialogue== :'''Jon''': Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Garfield, what are you doing? :'''Garfield''': I'm security, pal. Just protecting you from myself. :'''Jon''': Garfield, you've caused enough trouble today. Now you have food, water and company. :'''Garfield''': ''[points at Odie]'' Which one is he? :'''Jon''': Be good. :'''Garfield''': Jon, he's hilarious. Be careful, she's a man-eater! ''[Jon leaves]'' Oh, no. He's under the spell. ''[Odie still looks for the hamburger in the cabinet]'' Okay, Odie. I'll give you one small clue. It's not in there! <hr width=50%> :'''Dargis''': But that fat ball of fur could last for another 15 lives! <hr width=50%> :'''Prince''': All right, I'll count to 100. <hr width=50%> :'''Prince''': 35, 36, 37, 38... ..96, 97, 98, 99, 100. <hr width=50%> :'''Jon''': Uh, oh, could you deliver this to the girl in room 407? <hr width=50%> :'''Garfield''': 13 hours in a bag with a farting dog? <hr width=50%> :'''Garfield''': ''[while at Buckingham Palace]'' Hey, lady! Got any left over liver? Oh, I know she heard me. They are dogs, Odie. Odie? ''[Odie whizzes on a soldier's foot]'' Odie, no don't do the ugly American thing! ''[the soldier looks down at Odie, and chases Garfield and Odie]'' The British are coming! The British are coming! <hr width=50%> :'''Winston''': These are your ancestors, dating back 400 years. <hr width=50%> :'''Garfield''': ''[bounces on a bedchamber]'' I could do some snoozing here, yeah. Even a king needs a catnap. Get up! Get down. Get up! This baby is spring-loaded. Why do you think they call me-- Highness? <hr width=50%> :'''Garfield''': Does this castle make my butt a little too big? <hr width=50%> :'''Garfield''': For those keeping score at home, that's 18 lives. <hr width=50%> :''[Dargis notices Liz in the tour group and takes an instant liking to her.]'' :'''Dargis''': Hello. Welcome to Carlyle Castle, my dear. :'''Liz''': Thank you. It's--it's beautiful. :'''Dargis''': ''[refers to her dress]'' Well, that makes two of you. Did I mention how much I abhor fox hunting, unless, of course, in self-defense. :'''Liz''': Bye. :''[Liz tries to walk away, but Dargis walks up to her and puts his hand around her waist]'' :'''Dargis''': If I may... Uh, one question, uh...? :'''Liz''': Liz. :'''Dargis''': Ah, the same as our own dear queen. ''[offers her a drink]'' Cordial? One question, Liz? :''[Garfield walks past sadly and overhears Dargis talking to Liz.]'' :'''Garfield''': Liz? :'''Dargis''': What would you say if I were to donate one of my priceless oil paintings to your conservancy? :'''Liz''': Um... Thank you? :'''Dargis''': Mm! But how would you say it? :''[Garfield doesn't like seeing Dargis flirting with his owner's girlfriend.]'' :'''Garfield''': That royal sleaze is hitting on Liz. :'''Dargis''': Perhaps you would consider dining with me at the castle tonight? <hr width=50%> :'''Jon''': Liz, will you marry me? ''[shows her the ring]'' :'''Liz''': Yes. :'''Garfield''': You know, a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's. <hr width=50%> :'''Smithee''': There he is, gentlemen. :'''Cop''': Come along. There's a good boy. :'''Dargis''': It was the animals, you know. Plotting, planning, every one of them against me! :'''Smithee''': I assume that will be all, sir. :'''Dargis''': Smithee! He'll vouch for me! Smithee! ''[the cops drag Dargis off as Smithee waves goodbye]'' ==About ''{{PAGENAME}}''== * They made a movie after that second miscarriage, that went directly to video. So they sort of shot themselves in the foot, the kidneys, the liver and the pancreas on the second one. If you had a finer mind working on them? The girl, Jennifer Love-Hewitt, she was sweet. In the second movie they dressed her like a homeless person. You knew it wasn't gonna go well. ** Bill Murray [http://www.businessinsider.com/bill-murray-voiced-garfield-because-he-thought-director-was-joel-coen-2014-1 "Bill Murray Voiced 'Garfield' Because He Confusedly Thought The Screenwriter Was Someone Else"], as quoted by Aly Weisman, ''Business Insider'', Jan. 21, 2014. == Cast == * [[Bill Murray]] — Voice of [[w:Garfield (character)|Garfield]] * [[w:Breckin Meyer|Breckin Meyer]] — [[w:Jon Arbuckle|Jon Arbuckle]] * [[w:Jennifer Love Hewitt|Jennifer Love Hewitt]] — [[w:List of Garfield characters#Dr. Liz Wilson|Liz Wilson]] * [[Billy Connolly]] — Lord Dargis * [[Tim Curry]] — Voice of Prince the 12th * [[w:Bob Hoskins|Bob Hoskins]] — Voice of Winston * [[w:Ian Abercrombie|Ian Abercrombie]] — Smithee * [[w:Roger Rees|Roger Rees]] — Mr. Hobbs * [[w:Lucy Davis|Lucy Davis]] — Ms. Westminister * [[w:Rhys Ifans|Rhys Ifans]] — Voice of McBunny * [[w:Oliver Muirhead|Oliver Muirhead]] — Mr. Greene * [[w:Vinnie Jones|Vinnie Jones]] — Voice of Rommel * [[w:Joe Pasquale|Joe Pasquale]] — Voice of the Claudius * [[w:Gregg Berger|Gregg Berger]] <small>(vocal effects; uncredited)</small> — [[w:Odie|Odie]] ==External links== {{wikipedia}} * {{imdb title|id=0455499}} [[Category:2006 films]] [[Category:2000s American films]] [[Category:Comedy films]] [[Category:Sequel films]] [[Category:Garfield films]] [[Category:Films directed by Tim Hill]] [[Category:American films with live action and animation]] [[Category:Animated films about cats]] [[Category:Animated films about dogs]] [[Category:Films set in London]] ql71v6a6atvwt2bvyhpjim2j05oj56s 0 117839 3942157 3935915 2026-05-17T20:27:09Z ~2026-29315-06 3322427 3942157 wikitext text/x-wiki ---- :'''Seasons:''' [[Adventure Time (season 1)|1]] [[Adventure Time (season 2)|2]] [[Adventure Time (season 3)|3]] [[Adventure Time (season 4)|4]] [[Adventure Time (season 5)|5]] [[Adventure Time (season 6)|6]] [[Adventure Time (season 7)|7]] [[Adventure Time (season 8)|8]] [[Adventure Time (season 9)|9]] [[Adventure Time (season 10)|10]] | [[Adventure Time: Distant Lands|Distant Lands]] | [[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake|Fionna and Cake]] | [[Adventure Time|Main]] ---- {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Adventure Time|Adventure Time with Finn & Jake ]]''''' (2010-2018), otherwise known as '''''Adventure Time with Finn, Jake & BMO''''' or simply '''''Adventure with Finn & Jake''''', '''''Adventure with Finn, Jake & BMO''''', '''''Adventure Time''''' or '''Adventure''', is an American animated television series on Cartoon Network. The series follows the adventures of a boy named "Finn" (voiced by Jeremy Shada) and his best friend and adoptive brother called Jake (voiced by John DiMaggio), who is a dog with magitechnological powers to change his shape and size at his will. ==Pilot (2008)== {{Main|Adventure Time (short film)}} == Seasons == ::[[Adventure Time (season 1)|Season 1]] ::[[Adventure Time (season 2)|Season 2]] ::[[Adventure Time (season 3)|Season 3]] ::[[Adventure Time (season 4)|Season 4]] ::[[Adventure Time (season 5)|Season 5]] ::[[Adventure Time (season 6)|Season 6]] ::[[Adventure Time (season 7)|Season 7]] ::[[Adventure Time (season 8)|Season 8]] ::[[Adventure Time (season 9)|Season 9]] ::[[Adventure Time (season 10)|Season 10]] == Specials == ::[[Adventure Time: Distant Lands]] == Spin-off == ::[[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake]] == Catchphrases == :'''Finn''': Mathematical! == Cast == * [[w:Jeremy Shada|Jeremy Shada]] – Finn the Human * [[John DiMaggio]] – Jake the Dog * [[w:Hynden Walch|Hynden Walch]] – Princess Bubblegum * [[w:Niki Yang|Niki Yang]] – BMO/Lady Rainicorn * [[Tom Kenny]] – Ice King * [[w:Olivia Olson|Olivia Olson]] – Marceline the Vampire Queen * [[w:Pendelton Ward|Pendelton Ward]] – Lumpy Space Princess * [[Dee Bradley Baker]] – Cinnamon Bun * Polly Lou Livingston – Tree Trunks * [[w:Justin Roiland|Justin Roiland]] – Earl of Lemongrab * [[w:Jessica DiCicco|Jessica DiCicco]] – Flame Princess * [[w:Maria Bamford|Maria Bamford]] – Others == External Links == {{wikipedia}} * {{imdb title|1305826|Adventure Time}} {{Authority control}} [[Category:Adventure Time]] [[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]] [[Category:2020s American animated TV shows]] [[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]] [[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]] [[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]] [[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction TV shows]] [[Category:American children's animated science fantasy TV shows]] [[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]] [[Category:Post-apocalyptic animated TV shows]] [[Category:Cancelled shows]] [[Category:Cartoon Network original series]] [[Category:Television series by Cartoon Network Studios]] [[Category:Television series on DVD]] [[Category:Animated TV shows about brothers]] [[Category:Animated TV shows about dogs]] [[Category:Animated TV shows about orphans]] 6zbyw0aokkzx9v8465aguyuo05gfs70 3942159 3942157 2026-05-17T20:27:17Z ~2026-29315-06 3322427 3942159 wikitext text/x-wiki ---- :'''Seasons:''' [[Adventure Time (season 1)|1]] [[Adventure Time (season 2)|2]] [[Adventure Time (season 3)|3]] [[Adventure Time (season 4)|4]] [[Adventure Time (season 5)|5]] [[Adventure Time (season 6)|6]] [[Adventure Time (season 7)|7]] [[Adventure Time (season 8)|8]] [[Adventure Time (season 9)|9]] [[Adventure Time (season 10)|10]] | [[Adventure Time: Distant Lands|Distant Lands]] | [[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake|Fionna and Cake]] | [[Adventure Time|Main]] ---- {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Adventure Time|Adventure Time with Finn & Jake ]]''''' (2010-2018), otherwise known as '''''Adventure Time with Finn, Jake & BMO''''' or simply '''''Adventure with Finn & Jake''''', '''''Adventure with Finn, Jake & BMO''''', '''''Adventure Time''''' or '''''Adventure''''', is an American animated television series on Cartoon Network. The series follows the adventures of a boy named "Finn" (voiced by Jeremy Shada) and his best friend and adoptive brother called Jake (voiced by John DiMaggio), who is a dog with magitechnological powers to change his shape and size at his will. ==Pilot (2008)== {{Main|Adventure Time (short film)}} == Seasons == ::[[Adventure Time (season 1)|Season 1]] ::[[Adventure Time (season 2)|Season 2]] ::[[Adventure Time (season 3)|Season 3]] ::[[Adventure Time (season 4)|Season 4]] ::[[Adventure Time (season 5)|Season 5]] ::[[Adventure Time (season 6)|Season 6]] ::[[Adventure Time (season 7)|Season 7]] ::[[Adventure Time (season 8)|Season 8]] ::[[Adventure Time (season 9)|Season 9]] ::[[Adventure Time (season 10)|Season 10]] == Specials == ::[[Adventure Time: Distant Lands]] == Spin-off == ::[[Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake]] == Catchphrases == :'''Finn''': Mathematical! == Cast == * [[w:Jeremy Shada|Jeremy Shada]] – Finn the Human * [[John DiMaggio]] – Jake the Dog * [[w:Hynden Walch|Hynden Walch]] – Princess Bubblegum * [[w:Niki Yang|Niki Yang]] – BMO/Lady Rainicorn * [[Tom Kenny]] – Ice King * [[w:Olivia Olson|Olivia Olson]] – Marceline the Vampire Queen * [[w:Pendelton Ward|Pendelton Ward]] – Lumpy Space Princess * [[Dee Bradley Baker]] – Cinnamon Bun * Polly Lou Livingston – Tree Trunks * [[w:Justin Roiland|Justin Roiland]] – Earl of Lemongrab * [[w:Jessica DiCicco|Jessica DiCicco]] – Flame Princess * [[w:Maria Bamford|Maria Bamford]] – Others == External Links == {{wikipedia}} * {{imdb title|1305826|Adventure Time}} {{Authority control}} [[Category:Adventure Time]] [[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]] [[Category:2020s American animated TV shows]] [[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]] [[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]] [[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]] [[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction TV shows]] [[Category:American children's animated science fantasy TV shows]] [[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]] [[Category:Post-apocalyptic animated TV shows]] [[Category:Cancelled shows]] [[Category:Cartoon Network original series]] [[Category:Television series by Cartoon Network Studios]] [[Category:Television series on DVD]] [[Category:Animated TV shows about brothers]] [[Category:Animated TV shows about dogs]] [[Category:Animated TV shows about orphans]] ahnmdjr5suu46nrnbaqu8g5dipl9qrw 0 121762 3942048 3934553 2026-05-17T12:45:18Z Simon Peter Hughes 327237 /* External links */ Commons category Inline templates. 3942048 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Kris Kristofferson SXSW 2006 crop.jpg|thumb|right|[[w:Kris Kristofferson|Kris Kristofferson]]<br>I don't care what's right or wrong,<br>I don't try to understand, <br>Let the devil take tomorrow,<br> Lord tonight I need a friend.]] '''[[w:Kris Kristofferson|Kristoffer "Kris" Kristofferson]]''' ([[June 22]], [[1936]] – [[September 28]], [[2024]]) was an American singer-songwriter, musician, actor, and writer. == Song lyrics == :<small>'''All songs written by Kris Kristofferson except as indicated.'''</small> === ''{{w|Me and Bobby McGee}}'' (1969)=== * ''Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose<br>Nothing ain't worth nothing but it's free'' === ''[[w:Kristofferson (album)|Kristofferson]]'' (1970) === * '''Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose..<br> And nothing ain't worth nothing but it's free..''' ** ''[[w:Me and Bobby McGee|Me and Bobby McGee]]'', written by Kris Kristofferson and [[w:Fred Foster|Fred Foster]] * I don't care what's right or wrong, <br> I don't try to understand, <br>Let the devil take tomorrow,<br> Lord tonight I need a friend. ** ''[[w:Help Me Make It Through the Night|Help Me Make It Through the Night]]'' * Lay your head upon my pillow<br>Hold your warm and tender body<br>Close to mine<br>Hear the whisper of the raindrops<br>Blow softly against my window<br>Make believe you love me<br>One more time<br>For the good times<br>For the good times.. ** ''[[w:For the Good Times|For the Good Times]]'' * And the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad<br>So I had one more for dessert<br>Then I fumbled through my closet for my clothes<br>And found my cleanest dirty shirt.. ** ''[[w:Sunday Morning Comin' Down|Sunday Morning Comin' Down]]'' === ''[[w:The Silver Tongued Devil and I|The Silver Tongued Devil and I]]'' (1971) === * Comin' close together with a feelin' that I've never known before, in my time.<br>She ain't ashamed to be a woman, or afraid to be a friend.<br>I don't know the answer to the easy way she opened every door in my mind.<br>But dreamin' was as easy as believin' it was never gonna end.<p>And lovin' her was easier than anything I'll ever do again. ** ''[[w:Lovin' Her Was Easier (Than Anything I'll Ever Do Again)|Lovin' Her Was Easier (Than Anything I'll Ever Do Again)]]'' * He's a poet, he's a picker--<br>He's a prophet, he's a pusher--<br>He's a pilgrim and a preacher, and a problem when he's stoned--<br>He's a walkin' contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction,<br>Takin' ev'ry wrong direction on his lonely way back home. ** ''The Pilgrim, Chapter 33'' === ''[[w:Jesus Was a Capricorn|Jesus Was a Capricorn]]'' (1972) === * Make believin in forever<br>Is just a lie.<br>And it seems a little sadder<br>Each time we try.<br>'Cause it's a shame to make<br>The same mistakes again,<br>And again.<br>It's over.<br>Nobody wins. ** ''[[w:Nobody Wins (Brenda Lee song)|Nobody Wins]]'' * Why me Lord? What have I ever done<br>To deserve even one of the pleasures I've known?<br>Tell me Lord what did I ever do<br>That was worth loving you or the kindness you've shown? ** ''[[w:Why Me (Kris Kristofferson song)|Why Me]]'' === ''[[w:Easter Island (album)|Easter Island]]'' (1978) === * He said, we'll take us into town, lay our money down<br>I'll bring you the sweetest thing that grows<br>Because the fairest ones in sight are bloomin every night<br>At a tavern called the Sabre and the Rose.. ** ''Sabre and the Rose'' [[File:119625307 Kris Kristofferson by Ron Baker.jpg|right|thumb|Be who you are<br>just as long as you can...]] === ''[[w:Closer to the Bone|Closer to the Bone]]'' (2009) === * In a piece of my mind the world can't erase<br>I remember the time and the look on your face<br>And I will 'till the wind blows the stars from the sky<br>'cause the road never ends and the soul never dies<br>Be who you are<br>just as long as you can<br>Know in your heart I'm still your man<br>Headin for home<br>starlight and stone.. ** ''Starlight and Stone'' == External links == *{{wikipedia-inline}} *{{commonscat-inline}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Kristofferson, Kris}} [[Category:1936 births]] [[Category:2024 deaths]] [[Category:Actors from Texas]] [[Category:Guitarists from the United States]] [[Category:American country singers]] [[Category:American country singer-songwriters]] [[Category:Singer-songwriters from the United States]] [[Category:Aviators from the United States]] [[Category:Musicians from Texas]] [[Category:Best Musical or Comedy Actor Golden Globe (film) winners]] o7rdku8hil8shva2c8hix059ljeec88 0 126562 3942109 3941896 2026-05-17T17:46:56Z Raquel Baranow 915940 Italics 3942109 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Gospel of Luke Chapter 19-13 (Bible Illustrations by Sweet Media).jpg|thumb|[[Cleansing of the Temple| ''Jesus upsetting the money changers and their tables'']] ... '''You cannot serve both God and money''' — Jesus]] '''[[w:Money|Money]]''' is commonly defined by the functions attached to any good or token that functions in [[w:trade|trade]] as a [[w:medium of exchange|medium of exchange]], [[w:store of value|store of value]], and [[w:unit of account|unit of account]], although [[economics]] offers various definitions. __NOTOC__ {{TOCalpha|[[#Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations (1989)|''Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations'']] · [[#Misattributed|Misattributed]]}} == A == * '''[[Earth|This planet]] has — or rather had — a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.''' **[[Douglas Adams]], ''[[The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy]]'' (1979), Introduction. * All the perplexities, confusions, and distresses in [[United States|America]] arise, not from defects in [[United States Constitution|their constitution]] or confederation, nor from want of [[honor]] or [[virtue]], as much from downright [[ignorance]] of the [[nature]] of coin, credit, and circulation. ** [[John Adams]], letter to [[Thomas Jefferson]] (25 August 1787) ''The Works of John Adams''. * Money, now this has to be some ''good'' shit. ** [[Martin Amis]], ''Money, a Suicide Note'' (1984). [[File:2006 AEGold Proof Obv.png|thumb|right|The usual definition of the ''functions'' of money are that money is a medium of exchange, a measure of value, a standard of deferred payment and a store of value. ~ [[Norman Angell|Sir Norman Angell]] ]] * The usual definition of the ''functions'' of money are that money is a medium of exchange, a measure of value, a standard of deferred payment and a store of [[value]]. ** [[Norman Angell|Sir Norman Angell]] in ''The Story of Money'' (1930). * If you make money your god, it will plague you like the devil. ** Anonymous proverb as quoted in ''Select Proverbs of All Nations'' (1824), Thomas Fielding; this has sometimes been mistakenly attributed to [[Henry Fielding]] [[File:Parc de Versailles, Rond-Point des Philosophes, Apollonius, Barthélemy de Mélo inv1850n°9449 02.jpg|thumb|[[Plato]] said that virtue has no master. If a person does not honor this principle and rejoice in it, but is purchasable for money, he creates many masters for himself. ~ [[Apollonius of Tyana]]]] * [[Plato]] said that [[virtue]] has no master. If a person does not honor this principle and rejoice in it, but is purchasable for money, he creates many masters for himself. ** [[Apollonius of Tyana]], letter to Euphrates, ''Epp. Apoll.'' 15 * Money makes the man. ** [[w:Aristodemus|Aristodemus]]. See Alcæus, ''Fragment''. Miscel. Songs. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * '''Money was intended to be used in exchange, but not to increase at interest.''' And this term interest, which means the birth of money from money, is applied to the breeding of money because the offspring resembles the parent. Wherefore of all modes of getting wealth this is the most unnatural. ** [[Aristotle]], [[Politics (Aristotle)|''Politics'']], Book I, 1258b.4 * If the love of money is the root of all [[evil]], the need of money is most certainly the root of all [[despair]]. ** [[Isaac Asimov]], ''Half-Breed'' (Originally published in ''[[w:Astonishing Stories|Astonishing Stories]],'' February 1940) == B == * ''Divitiæ bona ancilla, pessima domina.'' ** Translations:<br/>Riches are a good handmaid, but the worst mistress.<br/>Wealth is a good servant, a very bad mistress<br/>L'argent est un bon serviteur, et un méchant maître<br/>Money is a good servant, a dangerous master. ** [[Francis Bacon]], ''De Dignitate et Augmentis Scientiarum'' (1623), Book Six ** The last two have sometimes been attributed to [[w:Dominique Bouhours|Dominique Bouhours]], but are probably just translations of Bacon's words. * ''L'argent est un bon serviteur, mais un méchant maître.'' ** Money is a good servant but a bad master. ** Quoted by [[Francis Bacon]]. (French Proverb.) In ''Menegiana'', II. 296. 1695. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * Money is like muck (manure), not good except it be spread. ** [[Francis Bacon]], 'Of Seditions and Troubles', ''Essays'', 15. *"The love of money is the root of all evil". This throws us back on the fundamental weakness of humanity - the quality of desire. Of this money is the result and the symbol... Desire demands the satisfaction of sensed need, the desire for goods and possessions, the desire for material comfort, for the acquisition and accumulation of things... This desire controls and dominates human thinking; it is the keynote of our modern civilisation; it is also the octopus which is slowly strangling human life, enterprise, and decency; it is the millstone around the neck of mankind...<BR>There are, however, large numbers of people whose lives are not dominated by the love of money, and who can normally think in terms of the higher values. They are the hope of the future but are individually imprisoned in the system which, spiritually, must end. Though they do not love money, they need it, and must have it; the tentacles of the business world surround them; they too must work and earn the wherewithal to live; the work they seek to do to aid humanity, cannot be done without the required funds. **[[Alice Bailey|Alice Bailey,]] ''The Problems of Humanity,'' p.79/80, (1944) * Just as money has been in the past the instrument of men's selfishness, now it must be the instrument of their goodwill. (5 - 166). ** [[Alice Bailey|Alice Bailey,]] ''D.N.A. Vol 1'', p.166, (1944) * I look at [[Paris Hilton]], think about her parents' fortune and her grandparents' fortune. She thought she had it all together. A whole lot of people think that, that when you got money you can do anything you want to do. But I want to tell you there are some things money can't do for you; Money can buy you a house, but can't buy you a home; Money can buy you food to put on your table, but can't buy an appetite; Money can buy you one of the most finest matresses in the world, but can't buy you [[sleep]]. ** Archbishop [[w:LeRoy Bailey Jr.|LeRoy Bailey Jr.]], in "We Need GOD" (14 June 2007). * [[Money]], it turned out, was exactly like [[sex]]. You thought of nothing else if you didn't have it and thought of other things if you did. ** [[James Baldwin]] "The Black Boy Looks at the White Boy" in Esquire (May 1961) * One of the wisest things anybody ever said to me was that if all you ever care about is money, money is all that will ever care for you. ** [[Iain Banks|Iain M. Banks]], ''[[w:Transition (novel)|Transition]]'' (2009), <small> {{ISBN|978-0-316-07198-7}}, </small> p. 65 (Chapter 4) * '''If you would know what the Lord God thinks of money, you have only to look at those to whom He gives it.''' ** [[Maurice Baring]], as quoted by [[Dorothy Parker]] in Marion Capron, "An Interview with Dorothy Parker", ''The Paris Review'', Issue 13 (Summer 1956). * Money is the devil's dung. ** [[Basil of Caesarea]], and then taken up by [[Francis of Assisi]], as quoted in [[Pope Francis]], ''[http://w2.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/speeches/2015/february/documents/papa-francesco_20150228_confcooperative.html To representatives of the Confederation of Italian Cooperatives]'', 28 February 2015. * If money is, as it is often posited, the root of all evil, then where does that leave [[greed]]? Let's do the math: Greed takes up most of your time and most of your money, so therefore greed = time x money. And, as we all know, time = money. Ergo, greed = money x money. So, if money is the square root of all evil, then we are forced to conclude that greed is evil as well, perhaps even more so, in that it forced us to do math. <br> But when does the desire to simply possess something turn into unchecked greed? That's easy: when the things that you possess start possessing you. ** Dale E. Basye and Bob Dob, in ''Rapacia: The Second Circle of Heck'' (2009), "Backword", p.&nbsp;361. * Money is the [[currency]] of the world, but it rarely is ''our'' currency. ** Julien Blanc, ''Transformation Mastery'' (2017) * Money should buy you one thing only and that is freedom. ** Max Berger, ''Rules of Money'' (2018) * The sinews of business (or state). ** [[Bion]]. In ''Life of Bion'' by [[Diogenes Laertius]], Book IV, Chapter VII, Section 3. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * A lot of money goes to money-heaven. ** {{w|Björgólfur Thor Björgólfsson}}, explaining the evaporation of {{w|paper wealth}} in the {{w|2008–2009 Icelandic financial crisis}} (quoted in [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/globalbusiness/7385128/Icelands-vote-gives-UK-little-comfort.html Iceland's vote gives UK little comfort]). * The accuser of [[Sin|sins]] by my side doth stand, </br>And he holds my money bag in his hand; </br>For my worldly things [[God]] makes him pay; </br>And he'd pay for more, if to him I would pray. ** [[William Blake]], as quoted in ''Life of William Blake : Pictor Ignotus'' (1863) by Alexander Gilchrist. * '''We could never imagine what a strange disproportion a few or a great many pieces of money make between men, if we did not see it every day with our own eyes.''' ** [[w:Jean de la Bruyère|Jean de la Bruyère]], ''Characters''. * And who can suffer injury by just [[taxation]], impartial laws and the application of the [[Thomas Jefferson|Jeffersonian]] doctrine of equal rights to all and special privileges to none? Only those whose accumulations are stained with dishonesty and whose immoral methods have given them a distorted view of [[business]], [[society]] and [[government]]. Accumulating by conscious frauds more money than they can use upon themselves, wisely distribute or safely leave to their children, these denounce as public enemies all who question their methods or throw a light upon their crimes. ** [[William Jennings Bryan]], speech at Madison Square Garden, New York, 30 August 1906, at a reception welcoming Bryan on his return from a year's trip around the world. ''Speeches of William Jennings Bryan'', Funk & Wagnalls, 1909, [http://books.google.com/books?id=E0QOAAAAYAAJ&pg=PA90&vq=%22And+who+can+suffer+injury+by+just+taxation%22&source=gbs_search_r&cad=1_1 p. 90] ** Often misquoted as: The money power denounces, as public enemies, all who question its methods or throw light upon its crimes. Ignotus, 1863. * Money well managed deserves, indeed, the apotheosis to which she was raised by her Latin adorers; she is ''[[w:Moneta|Diva Moneta]]'' — a [[goddess]]. ** [[Edward Bulwer-Lytton]], '''On the Management of Money', Caxtoniana'', 1864. * The greediness of gain is the only principle on which a stranger can be induced to furnish a stranger. ** Burnett, J., ''Earl of Chesterfield v. Janssen'' (1750), 2 Ves. 125. Reported in James William Norton-Kyshe, ''The Dictionary of Legal Quotations'' (1904), p. 177. * Money is the source of the greatest vice, and that nation which is most rich, is most wicked. ** [[Frances Burney]], ''The Journals and Letters of Fanny Burney'', entry for 17 November 1768. * Penny wise, pound foolish. ** [[Robert Burton]], ''The Anatomy of Melancholy'' (1621), Democritus to the Reader, p. 35. (Ed. 1887). * Mr. Butler urged the same idea: adding that '''money was power'''; and that the States ought to have weight in the government in proportion to their wealth. ** [[w:Pierce Butler|Pierce Butler]], ''Notes of Debates'', by James Madison, June 11th, 1787. * Still amorous, and fond, and billing,<br>Like Philip and Mary on a shilling. ** [[Samuel Butler (poet)|Samuel Butler]], ''Hudibras'', Part III (1678), Canto I, line 687. * Money…is the [[symbol]] of [[duty]], it is the sacrament of having done for mankind that which mankind wanted. Mankind may not be a very good judge, but there is no better. ** [[Samuel Butler]], ''Erewhon'' (1872). * How beauteous are rouleaus! how charming chests<br> Containing ingots, bags of dollars, coins<br>(Not of old victors, all whose heads and crests<br> Weigh not the thin ore where their visage shines,<br>But) of fine unclipt gold, where dully rests<br> Some likeness, which the glittering cirque confines,<br>Of modern, reigning, sterling, stupid stamp;—<br>Yes! ready money is Aladdin's lamp. ** [[Lord Byron]], ''[[Don Juan (Byron)|Don Juan]]'' (1818-24), Canto XII, Stanza 12. == C == * A man wants to earn money in order to be happy, and his whole effort and the best of a life are devoted to the earning of that money. '''[[Happiness]] is forgotten; the means are taken for the [[end]].''' **[[Albert Camus]], ''The Myth of Sisyphus'' (1942), "Absurd Creation" <small> (Tr. Justin O'Brien, Vantage International, 1991, {{ISBN|0-679-73373-6}}, p.&nbsp;103) </small> * It's a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money. ** [[Albert Camus]], ''Notebooks'' (1963), p.&nbsp;77. * Money, which is of very uncertain value, and sometimes has no value at all and even less. ** [[Thomas Carlyle]], ''Frederick the Great'', Book IV, Chapter III. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * ''THIS IS YOUR [[God|GOD]]'' ** Printed on currency in ''[[They Live]]'' by [[w:John Carpenter|John Carpenter]] [[File:Tremissis Julius Nepos-RIC 3221.jpg|thumb|[[Covetousness]] ... chooses to love and care for images stamped on gold instead of God. ~ [[John Cassian]]]] * [[Covetousness]] ... chooses to love and care for images stamped on gold instead of God. ** [[John Cassian]], "On the Spirit of Covetousness," ''Institutes of the Coenobia'' (c. 420 AD), Book VII Chapter VII [[File:John Cassian.jpeg|thumb|We must not only guard against the possession of money, but also must expel from our souls the desire for it. For we should not so much avoid the results of covetousness, as cut off by the roots all disposition towards it. For it will do no good not to possess money, if there exists in us the desire for getting it. ~ [[John Cassian]]]] * We must not only guard against the possession of money, but also must expel from our souls the desire for it. For we should not so much avoid the results of covetousness, as cut off by the roots all disposition towards it. For it will do no good not to possess money, if there exists in us the desire for getting it. ** [[John Cassian]], "On the Spirit of Covetousness," ''Institutes of the Coenobia'' (c. 420 AD), Book VII Chapter VII * It is possible that those who are in no way pressed down with the weight of money may be condemned with the covetous in disposition and intent. For it was the opportunity of possessing which was wanting in their case, and not the will for it. ** [[John Cassian]], ''Institutes of the Coenobia'' (c. 420 AD) Book VII Chapter XXII * If money is all that a [[man]] makes, then he will be poor — poor in happiness, poor in all that makes life worth living. ** [[Herbert N. Casson]] cited in: Forbes magazine (1950) ''The Forbes scrapbook of Thoughts on the business of life''. p. 302. * [[Capitalism]] is using its money; we [[Socialism|socialists]] throw it away. ** [[Fidel Castro]], as quoted in The Observer (British) newspaper (8 November 1964). * Make [[ducks]] and drakes with shillings. ** [[George Chapman]], ''Eastward Ho'', scene 1, Act I. (Written by Chapman, Jonson, Marston). Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. [[File:Nicolas Chamfort.jpg|thumb|right|Despising money is like toppling a king off his throne. ~ [[Nicolas Chamfort]]]] * Despising money is like toppling a king off his throne. ** [[Nicolas Chamfort]], ''Reflections'', D. Parmée, trans. (London: 2003) #113. * ''L’intérêt d’argent est la grande épreuve des petits caractères, mais ce n’est encore que la plus petite pour les caractères distingués.'' **Money is the greatest concern for small characters, but is nothing but the smallest for great characters. ***[[Nicolas Chamfort]], ''Maximes et Pensées'' (Paris: 1923), #164. * Money is a symbol of what others in your society owe you, or your claim on particular amounts of the society's resources. ** [[Ha-Joon Chang]], ''Economics: The User's Guide'' (2014), Ch. 1. * The way to resumption is to resume. ** [[Salmon P. Chase]], letter to Horace Greeley (May 17, 1866). Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * '''To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it.''' ** [[G. K. Chesterton]], ''The Paradise of Thieves'', ''The Wisdom of Father Brown'', 1914. * The purified righteous man has become a coin of the Lord, and has the impress of his King stamped upon him. ** [[Clement of Alexandria]], in Josiah Hotchkiss Gilbert, ''Dictionary of Burning Words of Brilliant Writers'' (1895), p. 104. * I knew once a very covetous, sordid fellow who used to say, "Take care of the pence, for the pounds will take care of themselves." ** [[Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield]], Letters. Nov. 6, 1747; also Feb. 5, 1750. Quoting Lowndes. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * Where large sums of money are concerned, it is advisable to [[trust]] nobody. ** [[Agatha Christie]], ''Endless Night'' (1967). * Endless money forms the sinews of war ** [[Marcus Tullius Cicero]], ''Philippics'', Oration V, sc. 5. * I never heard of an old man forgetting where he had buried his money. Old people remember what interests them: the dates fixed for their [[lawsuit]]s, and the names of their debtors and creditors. ** [[Marcus Tullius Cicero]] (106–43 B.C.), Roman orator. ''De Senectute'', Ch. 6, Sc. 20. * So pleasant it is to have money, heigh-ho! </br>So pleasant it is to have money. ** [[Arthur Hugh Clough]] in ''Dipsychus'' (1862), Part I, scene ii. * As I sat at the Café I said to myself,<br>They may talk as they please about what they call pelf,<br>They may sneer as they like about eating and drinking,<br>But help it I cannot, I cannot help thinking<br> How pleasant it is to have money, heigh-ho!<br> How pleasant it is to have money! ** [[Arthur Hugh Clough]], ''Spectator Ab Extra''. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * To cure us of our immoderate love of gain, we should seriously consider how many goods there are that money will not purchase, and these the best; and how many evils there are that money will not remedy, and these the worst. ** [[Charles Caleb Colton]], ''Lacon: Or, Many Things in Few Words : Addressed to Those who Think'' (1836), p.&nbsp;149. * No State shall enter into any Treaty, Alliance, or Confederation; grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal; coin Money; emit Bills of Credit; make any Thing but gold and silver Coin a Tender in Payment of Debts; pass any Bill of Attainder, ex post facto Law, or Law impairing the Obligation of Contracts, or grant any Title of [[Nobility]]. ** [[w:The Constitution of the United States|The Constitution of the United States]], Article 1, Section 10, Clause 1 [http://www.archives.gov/national-archives-experience/charters/constitution_transcript.html]. * To make money honestly is to preach the gospel. * Love is the grandest thing on God's earth, but fortunate the lover who has plenty of money. ** [[Russell Conwell]], ''Acres of Diamonds'' (1915) * Money was made, not to command our will,<br>But all our lawful pleasures to fulfil.<br>Shame and woe to us, if we our wealth obey;<br>The horse doth with the horseman run away. ** [[Abraham Cowley]], ''Imitations'', ''Tenth Epistle of Horace'', Book I, line 75. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * To virgin minds, which yet their native whiteness hold,<br>Not yet discoloured with the love of gold<br>(That jaundice of the soul,<br>Which makes it look so gilded and so foul) ... ** [[Abraham Cowley]], “Of Greatness”. * Stamps God's own name upon a lie just made,<br>To turn a penny in the way of trade. ** [[William Cowper]], ''Table Talk'', line 421. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. ==D == * I have never seen more [[United States Senate|senators]] express discontent with their jobs. … I think the major cause is that, deep down in our hearts, we have been accomplices to doing something terrible and unforgivable to this wonderful country. Deep down in our hearts, we know that we have bankrupted America and that we have given our children a legacy of [[bankruptcy]]. .. We have defrauded our country to get ourselves elected. ** [[John Danforth]], Republican senator from Missouri, reported in the Arizona Republic (21 April 1992). * The lands and houses, the goods and merchandise and the money of the world are owned by a very few. All the rest in some way serve that few for so much as the law of life and trade permit them to exact. ** [[Clarence Darrow]], {{cite journal|title=The Cost of War|volume=1|issue=8|journal=The Little Review|date=November 1914|pages=6–7|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=6GMWAQAAMAAJ&pg=RA7-PA6}} * The sinews of affairs are cut. ** Attributed to [[Demosthenes]] by [[Æschines]], ''Adv. Ctesiphon''. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * The grabbing hands <br> Grab all they can <br> All for themselves, after all <br> It's a competitive world <br> Everything counts in large amounts ** [[w:Depeche Mode|Depeche Mode]]; from the song, [[w:Everything Counts|Everything Counts]] (1983). [[File:Louisiana State Lottery Drawing 1887 Children.jpg|thumb|Everybody needs money. That's why it's called "money". ~ [[w:Danny DeVito|Danny Devito]]]] * Everybody needs money. That's why it's called "money". ** [[w:Danny DeVito|Danny Devito]], ''[[w:Heist (film)|Heist]]'' (2001). * ... I realized that "money talk," let's call it that way, is purposefully esoteric. Like, it's designed to ''not'' be understood — to create this aura around it — ... you, me, we shouldn't really concern ourselves with this, because it's too arcane and abstruse. Leave it to the specialists. And that's a power play ... ** {{W|Hernan Diaz (writer)|Hernan Diaz}}, in {{cite journal|title=Hernan Diaz Talks About His Book ''Trust'' and Writing with the Same Pen for 20 Years|date=May 4, 2022|journal=Late Night with Seth Myers, YouTube|url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pd_cv6g3xx8&t=273s}} (quote at 4:33 of 7:57) [[File:Disraeli.jpg|thumb|As a general rule, nobody has money who ought to have it.~ [[Benjamin Disraeli]]]] * As a general rule, nobody has money who ought to have it. ** [[Benjamin Disraeli]], ''Endymion'' (1881), Chapter LXV. * The sweet simplicity of the three per cents. ** [[Benjamin Disraeli]], in the House of Commons (Feb. 19, 1850). ''Endymion'' (1818), Chapter XCVI. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * "The American nation in the Sixth Ward is a fine People," he says. "They love th' eagle," he says. "On the back iv a dollar." ** [[F. P. Donne]], ''Mr. Dooley in Peace and War'', ''Oratory on Politics''. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. There is nothing in its nature to produce happiness. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of its filling a vacuum, it makes one. If it satisfies one want, it doubles and trebles that want another way. That was a true proverb of the wise man, rely upon it: "Better is little with the fear of the Lord, than great treasure, and trouble therewith." ** David Alfred Doudney ''"Old Jonathan's" jottings; or, Light and lessons from daily life'' (1869), p.&nbsp;18; published earlier in the magazine ''Old Jonathan, or the Parish Helper'' ** Often misattributed to [[Benjamin Franklin]] == E == * [[Wine]] maketh [[Drunkenness|merry]]: but money answereth all things. ** Ecclesiastes. X. 19. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless. ** Book of Ecclesiastes 5: 10; (New International Version) * If our nation can issue a dollar bond, it can issue a dollar bill. The element that makes the bond good, makes the bill good, also. The difference between the bond and the bill is the bond lets money brokers collect twice the amount of the bond and an additional 20%, whereas the currency pays nobody but those who contribute directly in some useful way. It is absurd to say that our country can issue $30 million in bonds and not $30 million in currency. Both are promises to pay, but one promise fattens the usurers and the other helps the people. ** [[Thomas Edison]], ''The New York Times'' (6 December 1921). * The elegant simplicity of the three per cents. ** [[Lord Eldon]]. See Campbell, ''Lives of the Lord Chancellors'', Volume X, Chapter CCXII. [[File:NSRW Ralph W Emerson.jpg|thumb|Money, which represents the prose of life, and is hardly spoken of in parlors without apology, is, in its effects and laws, as beautiful as roses. ~ [[Ralph Waldo Emerson]]]] * Money, which represents the prose of life, and is hardly spoken of in parlors without apology, is, in its effects and laws, as beautiful as roses. ** [[Ralph Waldo Emerson]], "Nominalist and Realist", ''Essays: second series'' (1844), [http://books.google.com/books?id=TVohAAAAMAAJ&pg=PA252&dq=%22Money,+which+represents+the+prose+of+life,+%22&as_brr=1 p. 252] * Money often costs too much. ** [[Ralph Waldo Emerson]], ''The Conduct of Life'' (1860), Chapter III, "Wealth". * It is not, believe me, the chief end of man that he should make a fortune and beget children whose end is likewise to make fortunes, but it is, in few words, that he should explore himself — an inexhaustible mine — and external nature is but the candle to illuminate in turn the innumerable and profound obscurities of the soul. ** [[Ralph Waldo Emerson]], “Address on Education”. [[File:30円 ゴメン値！ 2.24で賞味期限切れてます。 (17263192061).jpg|thumb|If I can acquire money and also keep myself modest and faithful and magnanimous, point out the way, and I will acquire it. ~ [[Epictetus]]]] * If I can acquire money and also keep myself modest and faithful and magnanimous, point out the way, and I will acquire it. ** [[Epictetus]], "The Encheiridion, or Manual, XXIV" (c. 135 A.D.), as translated by George Long, ''The Discourses of Epictetus with the Encheiridion and Fragments'' (1890), [http://books.google.com/books?id=7e0NAAAAYAAJ&pg=PA388&dq=%22If+I+can+acquire+money+and+also+keep+myself+modest+and+faithful+and+magnanimous,+point+out+the+way,+and+I+will+acquire+it%22 p. 388] == F == * Almighty gold. ** [[George Farquhar]], ''Recruiting Officer'', III. 2. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * Penny saved is a penny got. ** [[Henry Fielding]], ''The Miser'' (1733), Act 3, Sc. 12. * Ah, take the Cash in hand and waive the rest; </br>Oh, the brave Music of a ''distant'' Drum! ** [[Edward FitzGerald (poet)|Edward FitzGerald]] (1809–1883), ''The Rubáiyát of Omar Khayyám'', 1st edn., 1859. [[File:USCurrency Federal Reserve.jpg|thumb| Money. Cause of all evil, ''Auri sacra fames''. The god of the day—but not to be confused with Apollo. Politicians call it emoluments; lawyers, retainers; doctors, fees; employees, salary; workmen, pay; servants, [[wages]]. "Money is not happiness." ~ [[Gustave Flaubert]]]] * Money. Cause of all evil, ''Auri sacra fames''. The god of the day—but not to be confused with Apollo. Politicians call it emoluments; lawyers, retainers; doctors, fees; employees, salary; workmen, pay; servants, [[wages]]. "Money is not happiness." ** [[Gustave Flaubert]], ''Dictionary of Received Ideas'', c.1850-80. * "That's [[Mao Zedong|Mao]]."<br>"Do people still respect him?"<br>"The government pays lip service to his memory, but the hero worship of past eras is over."<br>"And what about the ordinary people?"<br>"The so-called [[proletariat]]?"<br>"Yup."<br>"They've found another god to follow."<br>"[[Xi Jinping]]?"<br>"Money." ** [[Shamini Flint]], ''[[w:Inspector Singh Investigates: A Calamitous Chinese Killing|Inspector Singh Investigates: A Calamitous Chinese Killing]]'' * Millions of dollars later, and neither of them were happy. Money is wasted on the rich. ** [[w:Gillian Flynn|Gillian Flynn]], ''What Do You Do?'' in [[George R. R. Martin]] & [[w:Gardner Dozois|Gardner Dozois]] (eds.) ''[[w:Rogues (anthology)|Rogues]]'' (2014), p. 57 [[File:Ford Henry.jpg|thumb|'''Money is only a tool in [[business]].''' It is just a part of the [[machinery]]. You might as well borrow 100,000 lathes as $100,000 if the trouble is inside your business. More lathes will not cure it; neither will more money. Only heavier doses of brains and thought and wise courage can cure. A business that misuses what it has will continue to misuse what it can get. ~ [[Henry Ford]]]] * '''Money is only a tool in [[business]].''' It is just a part of the [[machinery]]. You might as well borrow 100,000 lathes as $100,000 if the trouble is inside your business. More lathes will not cure it; neither will more money. Only heavier doses of brains and thought and wise courage can cure. A business that misuses what it has will continue to misuse what it can get. ** [[Henry Ford]] and [[w:Samuel Crowther|Samuel Crowther]], ''[https://archive.org/stream/mylifeandwork00crowgoog#page/n10/mode/2up My Life and Work],'' Garden City Publishing Company, Inc., (1922), p. 157 * Let every man abide in the art or employment wherein he was called. And for their labor they may receive all necessary things, except money. ... Let none of the brothers, wherever he may be or whithersoever he may go, carry or receive money or coin in any manner, or cause it to be received, either for clothing, or for books, or as the price of any labor, or indeed for any reason, except on account of the manifest necessity of the sick brothers. ** [[Francis of Assisi]], ''First Rule of the Friars Minor'', paragraph 8. [[File:StFrancis part.jpg|thumb|We ought not to have more use and esteem of money and coin than of stones. And the devil seeks to blind those who desire or value it more than stones. ~ [[Francis of Assisi]]]] * We ought not to have more use and esteem of money and coin than of stones. And the [[devil]] seeks to blind those who desire or value it more than stones. Let us therefore take care lest after having left all things we lose the kingdom of heaven for such a trifle. And if we should chance to find money in any place, let us no more regard it than the dust we tread under our feet. ... And let the brothers in nowise receive money for alms or cause it to be received, seek it or cause it to be sought. ** [[Francis of Assisi]], ''First Rule of the Friars Minor'', paragraph 8. * There are three faithful friends, :an old wife, an old dog, and ready money. :* [[Benjamin Franklin]], ''[[Poor Richard's Almanack]]'' (1734). * If you'd lose a troublesome visitor, lend him money. ** [[Benjamin Franklin]], ''Poor Richard's Almanack''. [[File:Silver half rupee of Siva Simha.jpg|thumb|If you would know the value of money, go and try to borrow some. ~ [[Benjamin Franklin]]]] * If you would know the value of money, go and try to borrow some. ** [[Benjamin Franklin]], "Father Abraham's Speech", ''Poor Richard's Almanack'' (1758). [[File:AC BR Kreislauf des Geldes 2024.jpg|thumb|The use of money is all the advantage there is in having money. ~ [[Benjamin Franklin]]]] * The use of money is all the advantage there is in having money. ** [[Benjamin Franklin]], '''Necessary Hints to Those that would be Rich''' (1736). * Remember, that [[time]] is money. He that can earn ten shillings a day by his labor, and goes abroad, or sits idle, one half of that day, though he spends but sixpence during his diversion or idleness, ought not to reckon that the only expense; he has really spent, or rather thrown away, five shillings besides. [...] Remember, that money is the prolific, generating nature. Money can beget money, and its offspring can beget more, and so on. Five shillings turned is six, turned again is seven and threepence, and so on, till it becomes a hundred pounds. The more there is of it, the more it produces every turning, so that the profits rise quicker and quicker. He that kills a breeding feline taint, destroys all her offspring to the thousandth generation. He that murders a crown, destroys all that it might have produced, even scores of pounds. ** Benjamin Franklin as quoted in [[Max Weber]]'s "The Protestant Ethic and The Spirit of Capitalism" (Penguin Books, 2002) translated by Peter Baehr and Gordon C. Wells, 9–12. * 'Tis money that begets money. ** [[Thomas Fuller]], Proverb in, ''Gnomologia'' (1732). == G == [[File:Money-flower.jpg|thumb|In numerous years following the war, the Federal Government ran a heavy surplus. It could not (however) pay off its debt, retire its securities, because to do so meant there would be no bonds to back the national bank notes. To pay off the debt was to destroy the money supply. ~ [[John Kenneth Galbraith]]]] * In numerous years following the war, the [[Federal government of the United States|Federal Government]] ran a heavy surplus. It could not (however) pay off its debt, retire its securities, because to do so meant there would be no bonds to back the national bank notes. To pay off the debt was to destroy the money supply. ** [[John Kenneth Galbraith]], ''Money, Whence it Came, Where it Went'' (1975), p. 90 <!-- Whoever controls the volume of money in any country is absolute master of all industry and commerce. --> * It would convert the Treasury of the United States into a manufactory of paper money. It makes [[United States Congress|the House of Representatives and the Senate]], or the caucus of the [[Political party|party]] which happens to be in the majority, the absolute [[Dictatorship|dictator]] of the financial and business affairs of this country. This scheme surpasses all the centralism and all the Caesarism that were ever charged upon the [[Republican Party (United States)|Republican party]] in the wildest days of the war or in the events growing out of [[American Civil War|the war]]. ** [[James A. Garfield]], later 20th US President, commenting on a resolution offered by James Weaver of the Greenback Party that the government should issue all money, on the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives (1880-04-05), published in {{cite book | title= Financial Catechism and History of the Financial Legislation of the United States from 1862-1896 | last= Brice | first= S. M. | publisher= Franklin Printing Co. | location= Chicago | year= 1882 | page=224 | url= http://books.google.com/books?id=u-goAAAAYAAJ&pg=PA223 | accessdate=2009-01-08}} * "I would not steal a penny, for my income's very fair— </br>I do not want a penny—I have pennies and to spare— </br>And if I stole a penny from a money-bag or till, </br>The sin would be enormous—the temptation being ''nil''. ** [[W. S. Gilbert]], ''Fifty 'Bab' Ballards, 'Mister William''' (1876). * The earning of money should be a means to an end; for more than thirty years — I began to support myself at sixteen — I had to regard it as the end itself. ** [[George Gissing]], ''The Private Papers of Henry Ryecroft'' (1903). * Money. You don’t know where it’s been,<br>but you put it where your mouth is.<br>And it talks. ** [[Dana Gioia]], ''Money'' * The money pigs of capitalist democracy… Money has made [[Slavery|slaves]] of us… Money is the curse of mankind. It smothers the seed of everything great and good. Every [[penny]] is sticky with sweat and blood. ** [[Joseph Goebbels]], quoted in ''The Nazi Party: A Complete History 1919-1945'', Dietrich Orlow, New York: NY, Enigma Books, 2012, p 61. Goebbels’ article, “Nationalsozialisten aus Berlin und aus dem Reich”, ''Voelkischer Beobachter'', Feb. 4, 1927 [[File:Johann Heinrich Wilhelm Tischbein - Goethe in der roemischen Campagna.jpg|thumb|right|A man who works at another’s will, not for his own passion or his own need, but for money or honor, is always a fool. ~ [[Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]]]] * ''Ein Mensch, der um anderer willen, ohne dass es seine eigene Leidenschaft, sein eigenes Bedürfnis ist, sich um Geld oder Ehre oder sonst etwas abarbeitet, ist immer ein Tor''. ** A man who works at another’s will, not for his own passion or his own need, but for money or honor, is always a fool. *** [[Johann Wolfgang von Goethe]], ''Die Leiden des Jungen Werthers'' (''The Sorrows of Young Werther''), p. 46 * Most Americans have no real understanding of the operation of the international money lenders... The accounts of the [[Federal Reserve System]] have never been audited. It operates outside the control of Congress and... manipulates the credit of the United States. ** Sen. [[Barry Goldwater]] (R-AZ), ''With No Apologies: The Personal and Political Memoirs of United States Senator Barry M. Goldwater'' (1979). * Your lovin' gives me a thrill <br> But your lovin' don't pay my bills <br> I need money — That's what I want. ** [[w:Berry Gordy|Berry Gordy]] and [[w:Janie Bradford|Janie Bradford]], in [[w:Money (That's What I Want)|Money (That's What I Want)]] (1959). * With money, so they all profess — </br>And I've no wish to beg the question — </br>One cannot purchase [[Happiness]] </br>Or Peace of [[Mind]], or yet [[Success]], </br>Or a robust digestion; </br>But one ''can'' buy a good cigar </br>And plovers' eggs and caviare! ** [[Harry Graham]], 'The Millionaire', ''The World's Workers'' (1928). *Whoever said money can't solve your problems must not have had enough money to solve them. **[[w:Ariana Grande|Ariana Grande]], [https://open.spotify.com/track/6ocbgoVGwYJhOv1GgI9NsF?si=60d45854410345de "7 Rings"], ''Thank U, Next'' (2018), New York: Republic Records * It's all about money cause without money you dead<br>Ain't a damn thing funny<br> You gotta have a con in this land of milk and honey ** [[w:Grandmaster Flash|Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five]], "[[w:The Message (song)|The Message]]" (1982). * If there's no money in poetry, neither is there poetry in money. ** [[Robert Graves]] (1895–1985), English novelist and poet. 'Mammon', ''Mammon and the Black Goddess'' (1965). * It is true that the masses have always been led in one manner or another, and it could be said that their part in history consists primarily in allowing themselves to be led, since they represent a merely passive element, a "matter" in the Aristotelian sense of the word. But, to lead them today, it is sufficient to dispose of purely material means, … and this shows clearly to what depths our age has sunk. At the same time the masses are made to believe that they are not being led, but that they are acting spontaneously and governing themselves, and the fact that they believe this is a sign from which the extent of their stupidity may be inferred. ** [[René Guénon]], ''The Crisis of the Modern World'' (1927), p. 109. == H == * Let your way of life be free of the love of money, while you are content with the present things. For he has said: “I will never leave you, and I will never abandon you.” ** ''Letter to the Hebrews 13:5'' * This bank-note world. ** [[Fitz-Greene Halleck]], ''Alnwick Castle''. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * Money is not coins and bank notes. Money is anything that people are willing to use in order to represent systematically the value of other things for the purpose of exchanging goods and services. ** [[Yuval Noah Harari]], Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind (2011), Chapter 10: "The Scent of Money" * The sum total of money in the world is about $60 trillion, yet the sum total of coins and bank notes is less than $6 trillion. '''More than 90% percent of all money - more than $50 trillion appearing in our accounts - exists only on computer servers.''' ** [[Yuval Noah Harari]], Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind (2011), Chapter 10: "The Scent of Money" * Money is accordingly, a system of mutual trust, and not just any system of mutual trust: ''money is most universal and most efficient system of mutual trust ever devised. '' ** [[Yuval Noah Harari]], Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind (2011), Chapter 10: "The Scent of Money" * Money is more open-minded than language, state law, cultural codes, religious beliefs and social habits. '''Money is the only trust system created by humans that can bridge almost any cultural gap, and does not discriminate on the basis of religion, gender, race, age or sexual orientation.''' ** [[Yuval Noah Harari]], Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind (2011), Chapter 10: "The Scent of Money" * Money has been essential both for building empires and for promoting science. Neither modern armies nor university laboratories can be sustained without banks. ** [[Yuval Noah Harari]], Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind (2011), Chapter 16: "The Capitalist Creed" [[File:Commerce 10c 1975 issue U.S. stamp.jpg|thumb| To be controlled in our economic pursuits means to be always controlled unless we declare our specific purpose. Or, since when we declare our specific purpose we shall also have to get it approved, we should really be controlled in everything. ~ [[Friedrich Hayek]]]] * To be controlled in our economic pursuits means to be always controlled unless we declare our specific purpose. Or, since when we declare our specific purpose we shall also have to get it approved, we should really be controlled in everything. ** [[Friedrich Hayek]], ''The Road to Serfdom'' (1944), Chapter 7, "Economic Control and Totalitarianism". * If you are different, you had better hide it, and pretend to be solemn and wooden-headed. Until you make your fortune. For most wooden-headed people worship money; and, really, I do not see what else they can do. ** [[Oliver Heaviside]], ''Electromagnetic Theory'' (1912), Volume III; "The Electrician", p. 1. * “The answer to ‘Why’ is always ‘Money.’” ** [[Robert A. Heinlein]], ''The Cat Who Walks Through Walls'' (1985), Chapter 27 * Get to live;<br>Then live, and use it; else, it is not true<br> That thou hast gotten. Surely use alone<br> Makes money not a contemptible stone. ** [[George Herbert]], ''The Temple'' (1633), ''The Church Porch'', Stanza 26. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * Would you know what money is, go borrow some. ** [[George Herbert]], ''Jackula prudentum'' (1640). [[File:1000 KRW 2009 ob.jpg|thumb|Fight thou with shafts of silver, and o'ercome<br>When no force else can get the masterdome. ~ [[Robert Herrick (poet)|Robert Herrick]]]] * Fight thou with shafts of silver, and o'ercome<br>When no force else can get the masterdome. ** [[Robert Herrick (poet)|Robert Herrick]], ''Money Gets the Mastery''. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * Every era has a currency that buys souls. In some the currency is pride, in others it is hope, in still others it is a holy cause. There are of course times when hard cash will buy souls, and the remarkable thing is that such times are marked by civility, tolerance, and the smooth working of everyday life. ** [[Eric Hoffer]], ''Before the Sabbath'' (1979), p.&nbsp;139. * How widely its agencies vary,—<br>To save, to ruin, to curse, to bless,—<br>As even its minted coins express,<br>Now stamp'd with the image of good Queen Bess,<br> And now of a Bloody Mary. ** [[Thomas Hood]], ''Miss Kilmansegg'', ''Her Moral''. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. [[File:Di Quà chi Mangia e Dorme (3468131305).jpg|thumb|They may talk of the plugging and sweating </br>Of our coinage that's minted of gold, </br>But to me it produces no fretting </br>Of its shortness of weight to be told: </br>All the sov'reigns I'm able to levy </br>As to lightness can never be wrong, </br>But must surely be some of the heavy, </br>''For I never can carry them long.'' ~ [[Thomas Hood]]]] * They may talk of the plugging and sweating </br>Of our coinage that's minted of [[gold]], </br>But to me it produces no fretting </br>Of its shortness of weight to be told: </br>All the sov'reigns I'm able to levy </br>As to lightness can never be wrong, </br>But must surely be some of the heavy, </br>''For I never can carry them long.'' ** [[Thomas Hood]] (1799–1845), '''Epigram on the Depreciated Money', Hood's Own'', Second Series (1861). * ''Quærenda pecunia primum est; virtus post nummos.'' ** Money is to be sought for first of all; virtue after wealth. ** [[Horace]], ''Epistles'', I. 1. 53. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * ''... rem facias, rem, <br> si possis, recte, si non, quocumque modo, rem'' ** Money, make money; by honest means if you can; if not, by any means make money. ** [[Horace]], ''Epistles'', I. 1. 65-66. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. [[File:Berlin Invalidenstraße Geldzählerbrunnen Skulptur.jpg|thumb|Of what use is a fortune to me, if I can not use it? ~ [[Horace]]]] * ''Quo mihi fortunam, si non conceditur uti?<br> Of what use is a fortune to me, if I cannot use it?'' ** [[Horace]], ''Epistles'', I. 5. 12. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * ''Et genus et formam regina pecunia donat.'' ** All powerful money gives birth and beauty. ** [[Horace]], ''Epistles'', 1. 6. 37. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * ''Licet superbus ambules pecuniæ,<br>Fortuna non mutat genus.'' ** Though you strut proud of your money, yet fortune has not changed your birth. ** [[Horace]], ''Epodi'', IV. 5. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. [[File:Posta Romana - stamp - Quintus Horatius Flaccus 2400-in.jpg|thumb|right|The people hiss me, but I applaud myself at home, when I contemplate the money in my chest. ~ [[Horace]] ]] * ''Populus me sibilat, at mihi plaudo<br>Ipse domi, simul ac nummos contemplor in arca.'' ** The people hiss me, but I applaud myself at home, when I contemplate the money in my chest. ** [[Horace]], ''Satires'', I. 1. 66. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * [[Bourgeois]] society is ruled by equivalence. It makes the dissimilar comparable by reducing it to abstract quantities. To the [[Age of Enlightenment|enlightenment]], that which does not reduce to numbers, and ultimately to the one, becomes illusion. ** [[Max Horkheimer]] and [[Theodor Adorno]], ''[[Dialectic of Enlightenment]]'', John Cumming trans., p. 7 * '''MAKE MONEY. MAKE MORE MONEY. MAKE OTHER PEOPLE PRODUCE SO AS TO MAKE MORE MONEY.''' ** [[L. Ron Hubbard]], in "Principles of Money Management" (9 March 1972). * Here then we may learn the fallacy of the remark... that any particular state is weak, though fertile, populous, and well cultivated, merely because it wants money. It appears that '''the want of money can never injure any state within itself: For men and commodities are the real strength of any community. It is the simple manner of living which here hurts the public, by confining the gold and silver to few hands, and preventing its universal diffusion and circulation.''' On the contrary, industry and refinements of all kinds incorporate it with the whole state, however small its quantity may be: They digest it into every vein, so to speak; and make it enter into every transaction and contract. ** [[David Hume]], Of Money (1752) as quoted in ''David Hume: Writings on Economics'' (1955, 1970) ed., Eugene Rotwein, [https://archive.org/details/writingsoneconom0000hume/page/45/mode/1up p. 45.] == I == *"That's sixty thousand!" cried Vorobyaninov. :"You're a rather nasty man," retorted Bender. "You're too fond of money." :"And I suppose you aren't?" squeaked Ippolit Matveyevich in a flutelike voice. :"No, I'm not." :"Then why do you want sixty thousand?" :"On principle!" ** [[Ilf and Petrov|Ilya Ilf and Yevgeny Petrov]], ''[[Ilf and Petrov#The Twelwe Chairs (1927)|The Twelve Chairs]]'', Chapter VI, translated from the Russian by John Richardson * The almighty dollar, that great object of universal devotion throughout our land, seems to have no genuine devotees in these peculiar villages. ** [[Washington Irving]], ''Creole Village'', in ''Wolfert's Roost''. Appeared in ''Knickerbocker Magazine'' (Nov., 1836). Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. == J == * It is maintained by some that the bank is a means of executing the constitutional power "to coin money and regulate the value thereof." Congress have established a mint to coin money and passed laws to regulate the value thereof. The money so coined, with its value so regulated, and such foreign coins as Congress may adopt are the only currency known to the Constitution. But if they have other power to regulate the currency, it was conferred to be exercised by themselves, and not to be transferred to a [[Corporations|corporation]]. If the bank be established for that purpose, with a charter unalterable without its consent, Congress have parted with their power for a term of years, during which the Constitution is a dead letter. It is neither necessary nor proper to transfer its legislative power to such a bank, and therefore unconstitutional. ** [[Andrew Jackson]], veto mesage regarding the [[w:Second Bank of the United States|Bank of the United States]] [http://avalon.law.yale.edu/19th_century/ajveto01.asp] (10 July 1832) ** Often paraphrased as: If Congress has the right under the constitution to issue paper money, it was given them to be used by themselves, not to be delegated to individuals or corporations. * There should, I feel, be one branch &#91;of the [[Black Panther Party]]&#93; that is purely political, operating the rent strikes, the breakfast programs, the People's Bazaar's where all sorts of food are sold, hospitals or clinics (free, of course), and what I will term cottage shops to employ those who will work for the new medium of exchange&mdash;[[love]] and [[loyalty]]. ** [[Jonathan P. Jackson]], in ''[[Blood in My Eye]]'' (1971), p. 20 *Now, throughout [[history]], the right to coin money has been a symbol of [[sovereignty]]. If states do not have the right to coin money, they are not sovereign. **[[Harry Jaffa]], [https://web.archive.org/web/20140109042428/http://www.independent.org/events/transcript.asp?id=9#02 "The Real Abraham Lincoln: A Debate"] (7 May 2002), ''The Independent Institute'' <!-- I wish it were possible to obtain a single amendment to our constitution taking from the federal government their power of borrowing. --> * I wish it were possible to obtain a single amendment to our Constitution. I would be willing to depend on that alone for the reduction of the administration of our government to the genuine principles of its Constitution; I mean an additional article, taking from the [[Federal government of the United States|federal government]] the power of [[Government debt|borrowing]]. ** [[Thomas Jefferson]], letter to John Taylor, 26 Nov 1798 <!-- I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. --> * And I sincerely believe, with you, that banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies; and that the principle of [[Government spending|spending]] money to be paid by posterity, under the name of funding, is but swindling futurity on a large scale. ** [[Thomas Jefferson]], letter to John Taylor (28 May 1816). [[File:Gospel of Luke Chapter 19-13 (Bible Illustrations by Sweet Media).jpg|thumb|[[Cleansing of the Temple| Jesus upsetting the money changers and their tables]] ... '''You cannot serve both God and money''' — Jesus]] * “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. '''You cannot serve both God and [[mammon|money (μαμωνᾷ)]].”''' The Pharisees, '''who [[wikt: φιλάργυρος#Ancient_Greek| loved money (φιλάργυροι)]],''' heard all this and sneered. ** [[Jesus]] in [[Luke]] 16:13-14, New International Version ** King James translations: [[s:Bible_(King_James)/Luke#16:13|Luke 16:13]] and [[s:Bible_(King_James)/Matthew#6:24|Matthew 6:24]] * No money is better spent than what is laid out for domestic satisfaction. ** [[Samuel Johnson]], Stated on 14 April 1776, quoted in ''Boswell's Life of Samuel Johnson'' (1791). * Whilst that for which all virtue now is sold,<br>And almost every vice, almighty gold. ** [[Ben Jonson]], ''Epistle to Elizabeth, Countess of Rutland''. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * Get money; still get money, boy;<br>No matter by what means. ** [[Ben Jonson]], ''Every Man in His Humour'', Act II, scene 3. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * ''Quantum quisque sua nummorum condit in arca,<br>Tantum habet et fidei.'' ** Every man's credit is proportioned to the money which he has in his chest. ** [[Juvenal]], ''Satires'' (early 2nd century), III. 143. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * ''Ploratur lacrimis amissa pecunia veris.'' ** Money lost is bewailed with unfeigned tears. ** [[Juvenal]], ''Satires'' (early 2nd century), XIII. 134. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * ''Crescit amor nummi quantum ipsa pecunia crescit.'' ** The love of money grows as the money itself grows. ** [[Juvenal]], ''Satires'' (early 2nd century), XIV. 139. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * ''Ploratur lacrimis amissa pecunia veris.'' * Lost money is wept for with real tears. ** [[Juvenal]], Satires 13, v. 134. * ''Crescit amor nummi quantum ipsa pecunia crescit,<br/>Et minus hanc optat, qu non habet.'' * Increase of wealth increases our desires<br/>And hew, who least possesses, least requires. * Alt. Translation: The love of money grows as the money itself grows. ** [[Juvenal]], Satires 14, v. 139. == K == * Throw money at a problem and it will remain. ** [[w:Tony Kakko|Tony Kakko]] (Sonata Arctica), ''Abandoned, Pleased, Brainwashed, Exploited''. * The spark for a relationship might come for free—a look, a word. But the fuel to keep it going would always be expensive. Money might not buy happiness, but the lack of money could buy endless unhappiness for any two people. ** [[Kenn Kaufman]], ''Kingbird Highway'' (1997), Chapter 18, ''The Kenmare Convention'' * Things are simply so arranged that not all men can have money. Prometheus and Epimetheus, you say, were undeniably very wise, but all the same it is incomprehensible that when in other respects they endowed men so gloriously it did not occur to them to give them money also. ** Soren Kierkegaard, ''Either/Or Part II'', 1843 Swenson 1944, 1971 p. 283 * It would undeniably be a superb invention by laughter to imagine eternity in a financial predicament-ah, but then let us weep a little because temporality has so completely forgotten eternity and forgotten that from the eternal point of view money is less that nothing! Alas, many are of the opinion that the eternal is a delusion and that money is the reality, whereas in the understanding of eternity and of truth money is a delusion. Think of eternity in whatever way you want to; only admit that many of the temporal things you have seen in temporality you wished to find again in eternity, that you wished to see the trees and the flowers and the stars again, to hear the singing of the birds and the murmuring of the brooks again, but, could it ever occur to you that there would be money in eternity? No, then the kingdom of heaven itself would again become a land of misery, and therefore this cannot possibly occur to you, just as it cannot possibly occur to someone who believes money is reality that there is an eternity. ** [[Soren Kierkegaard]] Works of Love, 1847 Hong 1995 p. 319 * Any man who spends his income, whether large or small, benefits the community by putting money in circulation. ** [[Arthur Kekewich|Kekewich]], J., ''In re Nottage'' (1895), L. R. 2 C. D. [1895], p.&nbsp;653. Reported in James William Norton-Kyshe, ''The Dictionary of Legal Quotations'' (1904), p. 177. * Ah, take the Cash, and let the Credit go,<br>Nor heed the rumble of a distant Drum! ** [[Omar Khayyam]], ''[[Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam]]'' (1120), Stanza 13. FitzGerald's translation. ("Promise" for "credit"; "Music" for "rumble" in 2nd ed). Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * Money in the pocket, devil in the heart. ** [[Ivo Kozarčanin]], Gruop of Authors: Velika knjiga aforizama, Prosvjeta-Globus, Vol. IV, 1984 == L == * To borrow money, big money, you have to wear your hair in a certain way, walk in a certain way, and have about you an air of solemnity and majesty — something like the atmosphere of a Gothic cathedral. ** [[Stephen Leacock]], ''The Garden of Folly'' (1924), p.&nbsp;102. *[[w:Firestorm (comics)|Jefferson "Jax" Jackson]]: Is there anything you think about other than yourself?{{pb}}[[w:Captain Cold|Leonard Snart]]: Yes. Money. **episode [[Legends_of_Tomorrow#Blood_Ties_%5B1.3%5D|"Blood Ties" of Season 1 of ''Legends of Tomorrow'']] *Money is like an iron ring we've put through our noses. We've forgotten that we designed it, and it's now leading us around. I think it's time to figure out where we want to go--in my opinion toward sustainability and community--and then design a money system that gets us there. **[[Bernard Lietaer]] quoted in [http://library.uniteddiversity.coop/Money_and_Economics/Bernard_Lietaer/Interview_Yes%21.pdf Beyond Greed and Scarcity, Interview] [[w:Yes! (U.S. magazine)|''YES! A Journal of Positive Futures'']], (Spring 1997) *'''For the first time in human history we have available the production [[Technology|technologies]] to create unprecedented abundance'''. All this converges into an extraordinary opportunity to combine the hardware of our technologies of abundance and the software of archetypal shifts. Such a combination has never been available at this scale or at this speed: it '''enables us to consciously design money to work for us, instead of us for it.''' I propose that we choose to develop money systems that will enable us to attain [[sustainability]] and community healing on a local and global scale. These objectives are in our grasp within less than one generation's time. Whether we materialize them or not will depend on our capacity to [[cooperate]] with each other to consciously reinvent our money. **[[Bernard Lietaer]], [https://library.uniteddiversity.coop/Money_and_Economics/Bernard_Lietaer/Interview_Yes%21.pdf Beyond Greed and Scarcity, ''YES! A Journal of Positive Futures''], (Spring 1997) *While economic textbooks claim that people and corporations are competing for markets and resources, I claim that in reality they are competing for money - using markets and resources to do so. So designing new money systems really amounts to redesigning the target that orients much human effort... Greed and competition are not a result of immutable [[Human nature|human temperament]]... greed and fear of scarcity are in fact being continuously created and amplified as a direct result of the kind of money we are using. For example, we can produce more than enough food to feed everybody, and there is definitely enough work for everybody in the world, but there is clearly not enough money to pay for it all. The [[scarcity]] is in our national currencies. In fact, '''the job of central banks is to create and maintain that currency scarcity. The direct consequence is that we have to fight with each other in order to survive.''' **[[Bernard Lietaer]] quoted in [http://library.uniteddiversity.coop/Money_and_Economics/Bernard_Lietaer/Interview_Yes%21.pdf Beyond Greed and Scarcity, Interview] [[w:Yes! (U.S. magazine)|''YES! A Journal of Positive Futures'']], (Spring 1997) *Greed and competition are not a result of immutable human temperament... [[greed]] and [[fear]] of [[scarcity]] are in fact being continuously created and amplified as a direct result of the kind of money we are using. For example, we can produce more than enough food to feed everybody, and there is definitely enough work for everybody in the world, but there is clearly not enough money to pay for it all. The scarcity is in our national currencies. In fact, the job of [[Banking|central banks]] is to create and maintain that currency scarcity. The direct consequence is that we have to fight with each other in order to survive. **[[Bernard Lietaer]] quoted in [http://library.uniteddiversity.coop/Money_and_Economics/Bernard_Lietaer/Interview_Yes%21.pdf Beyond Greed and Scarcity, Interview] [[w:Yes! (U.S. magazine)|''YES! A Journal of Positive Futures'']], (Spring 1997) *Money is created when banks lend it into existence. When a bank provides you with a $100,000 [[mortgage]], it creates only the principal, which you spend and which then circulates in the economy. The bank expects you to pay back $200,000 over the next 20 years, but it doesn't create the second $100,000 - the interest. Instead, the bank sends you out into the tough world to battle against everybody else to bring back the second $100,000. **[[Bernard Lietaer]] quoted in [http://library.uniteddiversity.coop/Money_and_Economics/Bernard_Lietaer/Interview_Yes%21.pdf Beyond Greed and Scarcity, Interview] [[w:Yes! (U.S. magazine)|''YES! A Journal of Positive Futures'']], (Spring 1997) * Your money's value is determined by a global casino of unprecedented proportions: $2 trillion are traded per day in foreign exchange markets, 100 times more than the trading volume of all the stockmarkets of the world combined. Only 2% of these foreign exchange transactions relate to the "real" economy reflecting movements of real goods and services in the world, and 98% are purely speculative. This global casino is triggering the foreign exchange crises which shook [[Mexico]] in 1994-5, [[Asia]] in 1997 and [[Russia]] in 1998. These emergencies are the dislocation symptoms of the old Industrial Age money system. ** [[w:Bernard Lietaer|Bernard Lietaer]], [http://www.transaction.net/money/book/ ''The Future of Money''] (2001). * Money is an agreement within a community to use something as a medium of exchange. ** [[w:Bernard Lietaer|Bernard Lietaer]], ''The Future of Money'' (2001). *My expertise lies in international finance and money systems. This is why I have adopted here a whole systems approach to money. Whole systems take into account a broader, more comprehensive arena than economics does; it integrates not only economic interactions but also their most important side effects. This includes specifically in our case the effects of different money systems on the quality of human interactions, on society at large, and on ecological systems. **[[Bernard Lietaer]] in [https://archive.org/details/The_Future_of_Money-Bernard_Lietaer/page/n1/mode/2up ''The Future of Money : Creating New Wealth, Work and a Wiser World''] (December 2001) [[File:Blood is Blood Logo.png|thumb|In essence, money is a lifeblood flowing through ourselves, our society, our global human community, and should be acknowledged and treated consciously. ~ [[Bernard Lietaer]]]] *'''In essence, money is a lifeblood flowing through ourselves, our society, our global human community, and should be acknowledged and treated consciously.''' **[[Bernard Lietaer]] in [https://archive.org/details/The_Future_of_Money-Bernard_Lietaer/page/n1/mode/2up ''The Future of Money : Creating New Wealth, Work and a Wiser World''] (December 2001) * We, as [[lawyers]], as men of business, as men of experience, know perfectly well what evils necessarily result from handing over a great family estate to a mortgagee in possession, whose only chance of getting his money is to sacrifice the interests of everybody to money-getting. ** [[Nathaniel Lindley, Baron Lindley]], L.J., ''In re Marquis of Ailesbury's Settled Estates'' (1891), L. J. Rep. 61 C. D. 123. Reported in James William Norton-Kyshe, ''The Dictionary of Legal Quotations'' (1904), p. 177. * ''Nec quicquam acrius quam pecuniæ damnum stimulat.'' ** Nothing stings more deeply than the loss of money. ** [[Livy]], ''Annales'', XXX. 44. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * That's just a lie we tell poor people to keep them from rioting in the streets. ** [[w:Eva Longoria Parker|Eva Longoria Parker]], ''[[Desperate Housewives]],'' in response to the claim that money can't buy happiness. * Take care of the pence, and the pounds will take care of themselves. ** [[w:William Lowndes|William Lowndes]], Section of Treasury under William III, George I. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * As a rule, there is nothing that offends us more than a new kind of money. ** [[Robert Lynd]], ''The Pleasures of Ignorance'' (1921), p.&nbsp;215. * Only think about it, it’s mysticism. You take a paper, make a special drawing on it. And suddenly the magic begins. It’s not a paper anymore. It’s any thing. Any desire. Freedom. Conquered space… But the drawing has to be very precise. If one tiny curl is missing, it seems like it makes no difference. But that’s the end. The magic is already destroyed. The paper is just a paper. But if everything is in place, look at these iridescence, the subtle magical patterns, the strict lines! ** Russian: Как подумаешь, так ведь это мистика. Берется бумага, на ней делается специальный рисунок. И вдруг начинается колдовство. Это уже не бумага. Это любая вещь. Любое желание. Свобода. Покоренное пространство… Только рисунок должен быть очень точным. Не хватит одной крошечной завитушки — вроде какая разница. А уже всё. Уже колдовство разрушается. И бумага — только бумага. Но если все на месте — посмотрите, какие переливы, какие тонкие волшебные узоры, какие строгие линии! ** Olga and Alexander Lavrov, ''The Magical Patterns'' (''Волшебные узоры'') == M == * But for money and the need of it, there would not be half the friendship in the world. It is powerful for good if divinely used. Give it plenty of air, and it is sweet as the hawthorn; shut it up, and it cankers and breeds worms. ** [[George MacDonald]], ''Paul Faber, Surgeon'' (1879), [http://books.google.com/books?id=WOYMAAAAYAAJ&pg=PA33&dq=%22But+for+money+and+the+need+of+it,+there+would+not+be+half+the+friendship+in+the+world%22 p. 33] * This currency is nothing more than the evidence of service having been rendered for which an equivalent has not been received, but which may at any time be demanded. It is obvious that as soon as it has been rendered, the evidence of its being due must be given up to the debtor to be destroyed, and it will be no longer current. And if any man can render services to his neighbours, he must in return receive either other services, or the evidence of their being due; and if he renders more services than he immediately requires in return, he will accumulate a store of this evidence for his future wants. ...It is quite clear that its use is to measure and record debts, and to facilitate their transfer from one person to another; and whatever means be adopted for this purpose, whether it be gold, silver, paper, or anything else, is a currency. We may therefore lay down as our fundamental conception that ''Currency and Transferable Debt'' are convertible terms; whatever represents transferable debt of any sort is ''Currency'', and whatever material the currency may consist of, it represents transferable debt and nothing else. ** {{w|Henry Dunning Macleod}}, ''The Theory and Practice of Banking'' (1866) 2nd edition, [https://books.google.com/books?id=Ul7jgk8ZaYAC&pg=PA16-IA3 Vol. 1, p. 16.] * One cannot help regretting that where money is concerned, it is so much the rule to overlook moral obligations. ** Malins, V.-C., ''Ellis v. Houston'' (1878), L. R. 10 0. D. 240. Reported in James William Norton-Kyshe, ''The Dictionary of Legal Quotations'' (1904), p. 177. * Up and down the City Road,<br> In and out the Eagle,<br>That's the way the money goes—<br> Pop goes the weasel! ** W. R. Mandale (attributed to), Popular street song in England in the late 1850s, sung at the Grecian Theatre. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922) p. 521-24. [[File:Stack of 100 dollar bills.jpg|thumb|right|It's no trick to make a lot of money, if all you want to do is make a lot of money. ~ "Everett Sloane" in ''[[Citizen Kane]]'']] * It's no trick to make a lot of money, if all you want to do is make a lot of money. **[[w:Herman Mankiewicz|Herman Mankiewicz]] and [[Orson Welles]] in ''[[Citizen Kane]]''; lines in screenplay for "Everett Sloane". * [[Capital]] is money: Capital is [[w:Commodity (Marxism)|commodities]]. In truth, however, value is here the active factor in a process, in which, while constantly assuming the form in turn of money and commodities, it at the same time changes in magnitude, differentiates itself by throwing off surplus-value from itself; the original value, in other words, expands spontaneously. For the movement, in the course of which it adds surplus-value, is its own movement, its expansion, therefore, is automatic expansion. Because it is value, it has acquired the occult quality of being able to add value to itself. It brings forth living offspring, or, at the least, lays golden eggs. Value, therefore, being the active factor in such a process, and assuming at one time the form of money, at another that of commodities, but through all these changes preserving itself and expanding, it requires some independent form, by means of which its identity may at any time be established. And this form it possesses only in the shape of money. It is under the form of money that value begins and ends, and begins again, every act of its own spontaneous generation. It began by being £100, it is now £110, and so on. But the money itself is only one of the two forms of value. Unless it takes the form of some commodity, it does not become capital. There is here no antagonism, as in the case of hoarding, between the money and commodities. The capitalist knows that all commodities, however scurvy they may look, or however badly they may smell, are in faith and in truth money, inwardly circumcised [[Judaism|Jews]], and what is more, a wonderful means whereby out of money to make more money. ** [[Karl Marx]], Das Kapital, Vol. I, pg. 107. *Money, then, appears as this ''overturning'' power both against the individual and against the bonds of society, etc.,which claim to be ''essences'' in themselves. It transforms fidelity into infidelity, love into hate, hate into love, virtue into vice, vice into virtue, servant into master, master into servant, idiocy into intelligence and intelligence into idiocy. ** [[Karl Marx]], ''Economic and Philosophic Manuscripts of 1844'' * Money plays the largest part in determining the course of history ** [[Karl Marx]], ''Communist Manifesto''. * I who can have, through the power of money, ''everything'' for which the human heart longs, do I not possess all human abilities? Does not my money, therefore, transform all my incapacities into their opposites? ** [[Karl Marx]], ''Economical and Philosophical Manuscripts'' (1844). * Money is not a thing, but a social relation. ** [[Karl Marx]], ''The Poverty of Philosophy'' (1847) * Since money does not disclose what has been transformed into it, everything, whether a commodity or not, is convertible into gold. Everything becomes sellable and purchasable. Circulation is the great social retort into which everything is thrown and out of which everything is recovered as crystallized money. Not even the bones of the saints are able to withstand this alchemy; and still less able to withstand it are more delicate things, sacrosanct things which are outside the commercial traffic of men. Just as all qualitative differences between commodities are effaced in money, so money, a radical leveller, effaces all distinctions. But money itself is a commodity, an external object, capable of becoming the private property of an individual. Thus [[social power]] becomes private power in the hands of a private person.<!--pp. 23-24, Mumford, 1963 paper edition--> ** [[Karl Marx]], ''{{w|Capital: Critique of Political Economy}}'' (1867-1883) as translated by [[Lewis Mumford]], ''{{w|Technics and Civilization}}'' (1934) Ch. 1 Cultural Preparation, 4: ''The Influence of Capitalism.'' * ''Luat in corpore, qui non habet in ære.'' ** Who can not pay with money, must pay with his body. ** ''Law Maxim''. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * Late to bed and late to wake will keep you long on money and short on mistakes. ** [[w:Aaron McGruder|Aaron McGruder]] in ''The Boondocks'' (10 July 2001). *If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and the corporations which grow up around them will deprive the people of all property until their children wake up [[w:Homelessness in the United States|homeless]] on the continent their fathers conquered. ** Charles C. Mayer, ''Hearings Before the Committee on Banking and Currency, House of Representatives'', Seventy-fourth Congress, First Session, on H.R. 5357 * And there is all the difference in the world between paying and being paid. The act of paying is perhaps the most uncomfortable infliction that the two orchard thieves entailed upon us. But ''being paid'', — what will compare with it? ** [[Herman Melville]], ''Moby Dick'' (1851). * Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy. ** [[Spike Milligan]], Mrs. Doonan, in ''Puckoon'' (1963), Chapter 6. * Mammon, the least erected spirit that fell : From heaven; for ev’n in heaven his looks and thoughts : Were always downward bent, admiring more : The riches of heaven’s pavement, trodden gold, : Than aught divine or holy. :* [[John Milton]], ''Paradise Lost'', Book I, lines 679-683. * Money brings honor, friends, conquest, and realms. ** [[John Milton]], ''[[Paradise Regained]]'' (1671), Book II, line 422. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * ''Les beaux yeux de ma cassette!<br>Il parle d'elle comme un amant d'une maitresse.'' ** The beautiful eyes of my money-box!<br> He speaks of it as a lover of his mistress. ** [[Molière]], ''L'Avare'', V, 3. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * Public opinion always wants easy money, that is, low interest rates. ** [[Ludwig von Mises]], ''A Critique of Interventionism'', (1929) p.&nbsp;163. * Inflation is an increase in the quantity of money without a corresponding increase in the demand for money, i.e., for cash holdings. ** [[Ludwig von Mises]], in [https://fee.org/library/books/the-free-market-and-its-enemies/ "The Free Market and Its Enemies" (1951)], a speech to the Foundation for Economic Education. * I like to carry some cash because you feel like you can cope with any situation — such as being mugged. I always try to have about £50 in my pocket just for convenience, really. ** [[w:David Mitchell (actor)|David Mitchell]], in his interview in with Nick McGarth ''The Daily Mail'' (16 July 2008). * Truly, it is not want, but rather abundance, that breeds avarice. ** [[Michel de Montaigne]], in "That the taste of good and evil depends, for a good part, on the idea we have of them" in ''The Essays,'' Bk. I, Chapter 14, 1st edition (1580). * Money is gold, and nothing else. ** [[J. P. Morgan]], [https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-11-21/gold-money-and-nothing-else-jp-morgans-full-december-1912-testimony-congress December 1912 Testimony] * Common people do not make such distinction between money and [[land]], as persons conversant in Law Matters do. ** [[William Murray, 1st Earl of Mansfield|Lord Mansfield]], ''Hope v. Taylor'' (1756), 1 Burr. Part IV. 272. Reported in James William Norton-Kyshe, ''The Dictionary of Legal Quotations'' (1904), p. 177. * It has been quaintly said "that the reason why money cannot be followed is, because it has no ear-mark ": But this is not true. The true reason is, upon account of the currency of it: it cannot be recovered after it has passed in currency. ** [[William Murray, 1st Earl of Mansfield|Lord Mansfield]], ''Miller v. Race'' (1785), 1 Burr. Part IV. 457. Reported in James William Norton-Kyshe, ''The Dictionary of Legal Quotations'' (1904), p. 177. * I am a great friend to the action for money had and received: it is a very beneficial action, and founded on principles of eternal justice. ** [[William Murray, 1st Earl of Mansfield|Lord Mansfield]], C.J., ''Towers v. Barrett'' (1786), 1 T. R. 134. Reported in James William Norton-Kyshe, ''The Dictionary of Legal Quotations'' (1904), p. 177. == O == * When the last [[Trees|tree]] is cut, the last [[fish]] is caught, and the last [[Rivers|river]] is [[Pollution|polluted]]; when to [[Breathing|breathe]] the [[air]] is sickening, you will realize, too late, that [[wealth]] is not in bank accounts and that you can’t eat money. ** [[w:Alanis Obomsawin|Alanis Obomsawin]], ''Who is the Chairman of This Meeting?: A Collection of Essays'' (1972), edited by Ralph Osborne, as quoted in “Conversations with North American Indians” by Ted Poole, Page 43, Neewin Publishing Company, Toronto. * Money is one of humankind's most important [[invention]]s and is now the basis for decision-making at most levels of society. The downside to our preoccupation with monetary values is that our money system does not take into account all the real costs and values of living. Money is not directly involved with natural wealth, which is not only the ultimate basis for human material wealth but also provides the life-supporting goods and services such as air and {{w|water recycling}} and {{w|Water purification|purification}}, soil enrichment, atmospheric balances, and so on. Nor can money adequately valuate the aesthetic enjoyment of natural beauty, the arts, literature, and so on. ... the gross domestic product (GDP), the standard measure of economic progress, does not include social and ecological costs. ** [[Eugene Odum|Eugene P. Odum]], {{cite book|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=wKEWAgAAQBAJ&pg=PA43 |page=43 |title=Ecological Vignettes | isbn=978-1-134-41477-2 | date=14 November 2013 | publisher=Routledge }} (1st edition, 1998) * If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. ** [[Aristotle Onassis]], quoted in ''Aristotle Onassis: A Biography'' (1977), by Nicholas Fraser. * Since money belongs to the community … it would seem that the community may control it as it wills, and therefore may make as much profit from alteration as it likes, and treat money as its own property. ** [[Nicole Oresme]] ''Traictie de la Première Invention des Monnoies'' (1355) Ch. 22: ''Whether the community may alter money.'' * ''In pretio pretium nunc est; dat census honores,<br>Census amicitias; pauper ubique jacet.'' ** Money nowadays is money; money brings office; money gains friends; everywhere the poor man is down. ** [[Ovid]], ''Fasti'', I. 217. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. == P == *Children are not obligated to save up for their parents, but parents for their children. **[[Paul of Tarsus]], in 2 Corinthians 12:14 (English Standard Version) [[File:Victor Dubreuil - 'Money to Burn', oil on canvas, 1893.jpg|thumb|right|The love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. ~ [[Paul of Tarsus]] ]] * For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. ** [[Paul of Tarsus]], in [[s:Bible_(King_James)/1_Timothy#6:10|1 Timothy 6:10]] [[s:Bible (King James)|KJV]] (The King James Bible) ** Latin translation is ''[[w:Radix malorum est cupiditas|Radix malorum est cupiditas]]''. [[File:Melchora100pesos.jpg|thumb|right|{{cleanup}}100 peso bill we have now all this is an we have now all this is an [[w:Philippine peso|Philippine peso]] we have in English Series.]] [[File:PHI-68c-Philippine Islands-Treasury Certificate-1 Peso (1924).jpg|thumb|right|1 Peso bill Philippine peso in Series of 1918 black on green on back green]] * My father told me that when you're working, don't stop to count your money. ** [[Pelé]], as reported in ''Pelé: A biography'' (1976), James Haskins, p.&nbsp;132. *There are a precious few whose studies are sound and honest and whose goal is truth and virtue. This is the knowledge of things and the improvement of moral conduct. … As for the others, of whom there is an enormous mass, some seek glory, an insipid, yet gleaming prize. But the majority aims only at the gleam of money, which is not only a rather poor reward, but dirty, and neither equal to the trouble involved, nor worthy of efforts of the mind. ** [[Petrarch]], “On the Various Academic Titles,” ''[[De remediis utriusque fortunae]]'', C. Rawski, trans. (1967), pages. 72-73 [[File:Chicklet-currency.jpg|thumb|right|What power has law where only money rules? ~ [[Petronius]] ]] * ''Quid faciant leges, ubi sola pecunia regnat?'' ** What power has law where only money rules? ** [[Petronius]], Satyricon, Cap. XIV. * Money <br> It's a crime <br> Share it fairly <br> But don't take a slice of my pie. <br> Money <br> So they say <br> Is the root of all evil today. ** [[w:Pink Floyd|Pink Floyd]], "[[w:Money (Pink Floyd song)|Money]]", ''[[w:The Dark Side of the Moon|The Dark Side of the Moon]]'' (1973). * Are you not ashamed that you give your attention to acquiring as much money as possible, and similarly with reputation and honor, and give no attention or thought to truth and understanding and the perfection of your soul? ** [[Plato]], ''Apology'', 29e * Money is a dangerous subject. Polite conversation avoids it. You may talk about economics, but not raw money… ** [[Max Plowman]], in "Money and The Merchant" in ''Adelphi'' magazine (September 1931). * Of what use is money in the hands of [[fools]]<br>when they have no heart to acquire [[wisdom|wisdom?]] ** [[Book of Proverbs|Proverbs]] 17:16 * "Get Money, money still!<br>And then let virtue follow, if she will."<br>This, this the saving doctrine preach'd to all,<br>From low St. James' up to high St. Paul. ** [[Alexander Pope]], ''First Book of Horace'', Epistle I, line 79. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * Trade it may help, society extend,<br>But lures the Pirate, and corrupts the friend:<br>It raises armies in a nation's aid,<br>But bribes a senate, and the land's betray'd. ** [[Alexander Pope]], ''Moral Essays'' (1731-35), Epistle III, line 29. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * When Gold argues the cause, eloquence is impotent. ** [[Publius Syrus]], ''The Moral Sayings of Publius Syrus'', # 65. == R == * Subject to a kind of disease, which at that time they called lack of money. ** [[François Rabelais]], ''Works'', Book II, Chapter XVI. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * ''Point d'argent, point de Suisse.'' ** No money, no Swiss. ** [[Jean Racine]], ''Plaideurs'', I. 1. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * Money and friendship bribe justice.<br>Beauty is potent, but money is omnipotent. ** [[John Ray]], ''[http://books.google.com/books?id=ofEIAAAAQAAJ A compleat collection of English proverbs. To which is added, A collection of English words not generally used].'' 1670/1813. Next page numbers from 1813 ed. p. 94. *'''Judas''': I don't need your blood money! :'''Annas''': But you might as well take it. We think that you should. :'''Caiaphas''': Think of the things you could do with that money, Choose any charity - give to the poor. We've noted your motives. We've noted your feelings. This isn't blood money - it's a ... :'''Annas''': A fee. :'''Caiaphas''': A fee nothing more. :* [[Jesus Christ Superstar]], lyrics by Tim Rice (1970) * Ohhhh <br> All I see is signs <br> All I see is dollar signs <br> Ohhhh <br> Money on my mind <br> Money, money on my mind. ** [[Rihanna]] ''Pour It Up'' * I am more concerned with the return ''of'' my money than the return ''on'' my money. ** [[Will Rogers]], quoted in ''Will Rogers Performer'', p.&nbsp;292. * Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting. ** [[Billy Rose]], as quoted in ''The New York Post'' (26 October 1957). * The lifeblood of [[Economy of the United States|our economy]], indeed [[World economy|the whole world's economy]], is based on money. Without a currency that can be trusted, the entire structure of economics, the [[division of labor]] itself, falls apart. Our wealth, our well being and our very lives are dependent on the continuation of this highly complex structure called the economy and it in turn is dependent on sound money. We have placed our trust for the management of this money on a gang of thieves called the [[Federal Reserve System|Federal Reserve]]. They have now clearly demonstrated their inability to restrain themselves from the excesses that can be perpetrated within a paper money system. If we want to survive as a nation, we need to eliminate both the Federal Reserve and paper money. ** Lou Poumakis, "[http://www.nolanchart.com/article6117.html Economic Disaster, its Cause and Cure]" (8 March 2009). * It is when money looks like manna that we truely delight in it. ** [[w:J. B. Priestly|J. B. Priestly]], ''Delight'' (1949), p.&nbsp;134. * Did you get your money by [[fraud]]? By pandering to men’s [[vices]] or men’s [[stupidity]]? By catering to fools, in the hope of getting more than your ability deserves? By lowering your standards? By doing work you despise for purchasers you scorn? If so, then your money will not give you a moment’s or a penny’s worth of joy. Then all the things you buy will become, not a tribute to you, but a reproach; not an achievement, but a reminder of [[shame]]. Then you’ll scream that money is evil. ** [[Ayn Rand]], Francisco d’Anconia in ''[[Atlas Shrugged]]'' (New York: 1992), p. 384. * Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. ** [[Ayn Rand]], ''Atlas Shrugged'' (1957). * Watch money. Money is the barometer of a society’s virtue. When you see that trading is done, not by consent, but by Compulsion – when you see that in order to produce, you need to obtain permission from men who produce nothing – when you see that money is flowing to those who deal, not in goods, but in favors – when you see that men get richer by graft and by pull than by work, and your laws don’t protect you against them, but protect them against you – when you see corruption being rewarded and honesty becoming self-sacrifice you may know that your society is doomed. Money is so noble a medium that it does not compete with guns and it does not make terms with brutality. It will not permit a country to survive as half-property, half-loot. ** [[w:Ayn Rand|Ayn Rand]], ''Atlas Shrugged'' (1957), p. 385. * I think it a greater theft to Rob the dead of their Praise, then the Living of their Money. ** [[Edward Ravenscroft]], Preface to ''Titus Andronicus, or the Rape of Lavinia'' (1686); quoted in ''The Shakespeare Allusion-Book: A Collection of Allusions to Shakespeare from 1591-1700,'' vol 2, ed. John Munro (1932). * Money can make you do ghastly things. ** [[w:R. Garcia y Robertson|R. Garcia y Robertson]], ''Ring Rats'' (2002), reprinted in [[w:David G. Hartwell|David G. Hartwell]] (ed.), ''[[w:The Space Opera Renaissance|The Space Opera Renaissance]],'' {{ISBN|0-765-30618-2}}, p. 527 [[File:Rats holding money coins.jpg|thumb|right|I know of nothing more despicable and pathetic than a man who devotes all the hours of the waking day to the making of money for money's sake. ~ [[John D. Rockefeller]] ]] * I know of nothing more despicable and pathetic than a man who devotes all the hours of the waking day to the making of money for money's sake. ** [[John D. Rockefeller]], as quoted in ''Money and Class in America'' (1988) by Lewis H. Lapham, note to Ch. 8. * Never allow yourself to get caught without a loose million handy. ** [[w: Nathan Mayer Rothschild, 1st Baron Rothschild|Lord Nathaniel Rothschild]], As quoted as being one of his favourite sayings (on a visit to Cecil Rhodes in South Africa) in the book by Antony Thomas, ''Rhodes, The Race for Africa'' (1996). * The real truth of the matter is, as you and I know, that a financial element in the large centers has owned the government of the U.S. since the days of [[Andrew Jackson]]. ** [[Franklin D. Roosevelt]], 32nd US President, letter to Col. Edward Mandell House (21 November 1933); as quoted in ''F.D.R.: His Personal Letters, 1928-1945'', edited by Elliott Roosevelt (New York: Duell, Sloan and Pearce, 1950), pg. 373. [[File:Jean-Jacques Rousseau (painted portrait).jpg|thumb|right|The money which a man possesses is the instrument of freedom.; that which we eagerly pursue is the instrument of slavery. ~ [[Jean-Jacques Rousseau]]]] * I worship [[freedom]]; I abhor restraint, trouble, dependence. As long as the money in my purse lasts, it assures my independence; it relieves me of the trouble of finding expedients to replenish it, a necessity which has always inspired me with dread; but the fear of seeing it exhausted makes me hoard it carefully. '''The money which a man possesses is the instrument of freedom.; that which we eagerly pursue is the instrument of [[slavery]].''' Therefore I hold fast to that which I have, and desire nothing. ** [[Jean-Jacques Rousseau]], ''Confessions'' (Wordsworth: 1996), p. 35. * '''Money is the source of all the false ideas of society.''' ** [[Jean-Jacques Rousseau]], ''[[Emile, or On Education]]'' (1762), Book III. * The best way to keep money in perspective is to have some. ** [[Louis Rukeyser]], ''How to Make Money in Wall Street'' (1976), p.&nbsp;1. * Ask a great money-maker what he wants to do with his money,—he never knows. He doesn't make it to do anything with it. He gets it only that he ''may'' get it. ** [[John Ruskin]], ''The Crown of Wild Olives'' (1886). == S == * Money is power, freedom, a cushion, the root of all evil, the sum of blessings. ** [[Carl Sandburg]], ''The People, Yes'', s. 65. (1936). * A [[w:Mafia|Mafioso]] businessman’s number one priority is not to make money, but to hand out receipts in order to justify money that he already has. ** [[Roberto Saviano]], ''[https://www.davidlammy.co.uk/single-post/2016/05/31/Roberto-Saviano-Dirty-Money-in-London-event-1 Dirty Money in London event]'' (May 31, 2016), translated by Claudia Colvin. * Money moves in, and people move out. ** [[Roberto Saviano]], ''[https://www.davidlammy.co.uk/single-post/2016/05/31/Roberto-Saviano-Dirty-Money-in-London-event-1 Dirty Money in London event]'' (May 31, 2016), translated by Claudia Colvin. * ''Money'' is human happiness in the abstract; and so the man who is no longer capable of enjoying such happiness in the concrete, sets his whole heart on money. ** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], ''Parerga and Paralipomena'' (1851). * People are often reproached because their desires are directed mainly to money and they are fonder of it than of anything else. Yet it is natural and even inevitable for them to love that which, as an untiring Proteus, is ready at any moment to convert itself into the particular object of our fickle desires and manifold needs. Thus every other blessing can satisfy only one desire and one need; for instance, food is good only to the hungry, wine only for the healthy, medicine for the sick, a fur coat for winter, women for youth, and so on. Consequently, all these are only … relatively good. Money alone is the absolutely good thing because it meets not merely one need ''in concreto'', but needs generally ''in abstracto''. ** [[Arthur Schopenhauer]], “Aphorisms on the Wisdom of Life,” ''Parerga und Paralipomena'', E. Payne, trans. (1974) Vol. 1, pp. 347-348. * Money never made any man rich. Contrariwise, there is not any man that hath gathered store of it together that is not become more covetous. ** [[Seneca the Younger]], ''Ad Lucilium epistulae morales'', letter 119. * When I was stamp'd, some coiner with his tools<br>Made me a counterfeit. ** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[Cymbeline]]'' (1611), Act II, scene 5, line 5. * No, they cannot touch me for coining; I am the king himself. ** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[King Lear]]''. * For they say, if money go before, all ways do lie open. ** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[The Merry Wives of Windsor]]'' (c. 1597; published 1602), Act II, scene 2, line 173. * Money is a good soldier, sir, and will on. ** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[The Merry Wives of Windsor]]'' (c. 1597; published 1602), Act II, scene 2, line 175. * Why, give him gold enough and marry him to a puppet or an aglet-baby or an old trot with ne'er a tooth in her head, though she have as many diseases as two-and-fifty horses; why, nothing comes amiss, so money comes withal. ** [[William Shakespeare]], ''[[The Taming of the Shrew]]'' (c. 1593-94), Act I, scene 2, line 78. * Commerce has set the mark of selfishness,<br>The signet of its all-enslaving power,<br>Upon a shining ore, and called it gold;<br>Before whose image bow the vulgar great,<br>The vainly rich, the miserable proud,<br>The mob of peasants, nobles, priests and kings,<br>And with blind feelings reverence the power<br>That grinds them to the dust of misery.<br>But in the temple of their hireling hearts<br>Gold is a living god and rules in scorn<br>All earthly things but virtue. ** [[Percy Bysshe Shelley]], ''Queen Mab'' (1813), Part IV. [[File:Buoyancy.svg|thumb|right|Money expresses all qualitative differences of things in terms of "how much?" Money, with all its colorlessness and indifference, becomes the common denominator of all values; irreparably it hollows out the core of things, their individuality, their specific value, and their incomparability. All things float with equal [[w:specific gravity|specific gravity]] in the constantly moving stream of money. All things lie on the same level and differ from one another only in the size of the area which they cover. ~ [[Georg Simmel]] ]] * Money expresses all qualitative differences of things in terms of "how much?" Money, with all its colorlessness and indifference, becomes the common denominator of all values; irreparably it hollows out the core of things, their individuality, their specific value, and their incomparability. All things float with equal specific gravity in the constantly moving stream of money. All things lie on the same level and differ from one another only in the size of the area which they cover. ** [[Georg Simmel]], “The Metropolis and Modern Life” (1903). * The brutality of a man purely motivated by monetary considerations … often does not appear to him at all as a moral delinquency, since he is aware only of a rigorously logical behavior, which draws the objective consequences of the situation. ** [[Georg Simmel]], “Domination,” ''On Individuality and Social Forms'' (1971), p. 110. * Worldly success, measured by the accumulation of money, is no doubt a very dazzling thing; and all men are naturally more or less the admirers of worldly success. ** [[w:Samuel Smiles|Samuel Smiles]] (1812–1904), Scottish author and reformer. 'Money: Its Use and Abuse', ''Self-Help'' (1856), Chapter 10. * [[Bread]] is made for [[laughter]], and wine makes life enjoyable; but money answers every need. ** [[Solomon]], ''Ecclesiastes 10:19'' * πολλοί τοι πλουτοῦσι κακοί, ἀγαθοὶ δὲ πένονται: : ἀλλ᾽ ἡμεῖς τούτοις οὐ διαμειψόμεθα : τῆς ἀρετῆς τὸν πλοῦτον, ἐπεὶ τὸ μὲν ἔμπεδον αἰεί, : χρήματα δ᾽ ἀνθρώπων ἄλλοτε ἄλλος ἔχει. :* Many bad men are rich, many good men are poor. But we will not exchange wealth for virtue along with them. One man has money now, another has money at another time. Money goes around, whereas virtue endures. ::* [[Solon]], Fragment 4 (West), also attributed to [[Theognis]] * The [[Citizenship|citizens]] themselves are willing, by their follies and obedience to money, to destroy [[Athens|this great city]]. ** [[Solon]], Elegiac Poems, in ''Early Greek Philosophy: Beginnings and Ionian Thinkers'' Loeb Classical Library Volume 525 (2016), p. 114 * οὐδὲν γὰρ ἀνθρώποισιν οἷον ἄργυρος κακὸν νόμισμ᾽ ἔβλαστε. τοῦτο καὶ πόλεις πορθεῖ, τόδ᾽ ἄνδρας ἐξανίστησιν δόμων: τόδ᾽ ἐκδιδάσκει καὶ παραλλάσσει φρένας χρηστὰς πρὸς αἰσχρὰ πράγματ᾽ ἵστασθαι βροτῶν: πανουργίας δ᾽ ἔδειξεν ἀνθρώποις ἔχειν καὶ παντὸς ἔργου δυσσέβειαν εἰδέναι. ** There is no institution so ruinous for men as money; money sacks cities, money drives men from their homes! Money by its teaching perverts men’s good minds so that they take to evil actions! Money has shown men how to practise villainy, and taught them impiousness in every action! *** [[Sophocles]], Creon in ''Antigone'', line 295, Loeb Classical Library, Volume 21, p. 31 * Among the misconceptions of [[economics]] is that it is something that tells you how to make money or run a [[business]] or predict the ups and downs of the [[stock market]]. But economics is not [[w:Personal_finance|personal finance]] or [[business administration]], and predicting the ups and downs of the stock market has yet to be reduced to a dependable formula. When [[Economist|economists]] analyze [[Price|prices]], [[Wage|wages]], [[Profit|profits]], or the international balance of trade, for example, it is from the standpoint of how decisions in various parts of the economy affect the allocation of scarce resources in a way that raises or lowers the material standard of living of the people as a whole. ** [[Thomas Sowell]], ''Basic Economics: A Common-Sense Guide to the Economy'' (2015) * In reality money, like numbers and law, is a ''category of thought''. There is a monetary, just as there is a juristic and a mathematical and a technical, thinking of the world-around. ** [[Oswald Spengler]], ''The Decline of the West'' (''Der Untergang des Abendlandes''), (1918–22). * Gold and [[silver]] are but merchandise, as well as cloth or linen; and that nation that buys the least, and sells the most, must always have the most money. ** [[Philip Dormer Stanhope]], 4th Earl Chesterfield (1694–1773). Letter, 'Miscellaneous Pieces,' ''Letters to his Son'', 5th ed. (1774), Vol. IV, p.&nbsp;332. * If all the rich men in the world divided up their money amongst themselves, there wouldn't be enough to go round. ** [[w:Christina Stead|Christina Stead]] in ''House of All Nations'', Sc. 12 (written in 1938), published by Angus and Robertson (1988). * Everyone has to make up their mind if money is money or money isn't money and sooner or later they always do decide that money is money. ** [[Gertrude Stein]], ''[[w:Everybody's Autobiography|Everybody's Autobiography]]'' (1937), p. 41. * But as they all say if we sell our home what will we have for it, money, and what is the use of that money, money goes and after it is gone then where are we, beside we have all we want, what can we do with money except lose it, money to spend is not very welcome, if you have it and you try to spend it, well spending money is an anxiety, saving money is a comfort and a pleasure, economy is not a duty it is a comfort, avarice is an excitement, but spending money is nothing, money spent is money non-existent, money saved is money realised... ** [[Gertrude Stein]], ''Paris France'' (1940). <!-- New York: Liveright (1970) p. 103. --> * Meanwhile [[Hollywood]] has gone nuts. Carol [his wife] turned down a writing job for me at five thousand a week. She said, "Why [[Jesus Christ]] then I'd have to find a new bank every week." Just what in hell could a writing man do that would be worth five thousand a week. The whole place is nuts... ** [[John Steinbeck]], Letter (written in California) to the film editor and director, Lloyd Nestor (17 May 1939). Reproduced in Christies New York ''Printed Books and manuscripts'' sale catalogue, 20 May 1988. * The flour [[merchant]], the house-builder, and the postman charge us no less on account of our sex; but when we endeavour to earn money to pay all these, then, indeed, we find the interest. ** [[Lucy Stone]], as quoted in ''Feminism: The Essential Historical Writings'', part 3, by Miriam Schnier (1972). * The world over, private [[Financial market|financial markets]] fail when it comes to the very poor, ... Mainstream banks do not seek out poor communities—because that’s not where the money is. ** [[Lawrence Summers]], former U.S. treasury secretary, ''[[w:Awake!|Awake!]]'' magazine, 2002, 5/22; [http://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/102002362?q=summers&p=par Can Globalization Really Solve Our Problems?] * Money can always be traced. It leaves a trail of slime behind it wherever it goes. ** [[Michael Swanwick]], ''[[w:Stations of the Tide|Stations of the Tide]]'' (1991), Chapter 2 * Her life was a complete mess, true, but it could be straightened out. All it would take was money. Money could straighten out anything, if you had enough of it. ** [[Michael Swanwick]], ''[[w:The Iron Dragon's Daughter|The Iron Dragon's Daughter]]'' (1993), Chapter 16 == T == * What is fiat money? you may ask. Essentially, it is an inconvertible or unbacked currency usually issued by the government/central bank. Fiat money is currency of unlimited supply. ** Manuel Tacanho, [https://mises.org/wire/todays-fiat-dollar-standard-founded-lies Today's Fiat Dollar Standard Is Founded in Lies], ''Mises Institute'', 5th February 2022 * But the jingling of the guinea helps the hurt that [[Honor]] feels. ** [[Alfred Tennyson]], ''[[Locksley Hall]]'' (1835, published 1842), Stanza 53. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * ''Pecuniam in loco negligere maximum est lucrum.'' ** To despise money on some occasions is a very great gain. ** [[Terence]], ''Adelphi'', II. 2. 8. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * Money does not represent such a value as men have placed upon it. All my money has been invested into experiments with which I have made new discoveries enabling mankind to have a little easier life. ** [[Nikola Tesla]] as quoted in "A Visit to Nikola Tesla" by Dragislav L. Petković in Politika (April 1927); also in Tesla, Master of Lightning (1999) by Margaret Cheney, Robert Uth, and Jim Glenn, p. 82 * What a dignity it gives an old lady, that balance at the bankers! How tenderly we look at her faults if she is a relative; what a kind, good-natured old creature we find her! ** [[William Makepeace Thackeray]], ''Vanity Fair'' (1847), Chapter 9. * [[w:Plutus|Ploutos]], no wonder mortals worship you:<br>You are so tolerant of their sins! ** [[Theognis]], ''Elegies'', D. Wender, trans., 523. * Everyone in the world needs money – to get paid, to trade, to live. Paper money is an ancient technology and an inconvenient means of payment. You can run out of it. It wears out. It can get lost or stolen. In the [[21st century|twenty-first century]], people need a form of money that's more convenient and secure, something that can be accessed from anywhere with a PDA or an [[Internet]] connection. Of course, what we're calling 'convenient' for [[United States|American]] users will be revolutionary for the [[Developing country|developing world]]. Many of these countries' governments play fast and loose with their currencies. They use [[inflation]] and sometimes wholesale currency devaluations, like we saw in [[Russia]] and several [[Southeast Asia|Southeast Asian]] countries last year [referring to the [[wikipedia:1998 Russian financial crisis|1998 Russian]] and [[1997 Asian financial crisis]]], to take [[wealth]] away from their [[Citizenship|citizens]]. Most of the ordinary people there never have an opportunity to open an offshore account or to get their hands on more than a few bills of a stable currency like [[w:United_States_dollar|U.S. dollars]]. Eventually PayPal will be able to change this. In the future, when we make our service available outside the [[United States|U.S.]] and as [[Internet]] penetration continues to expand to all economic tiers of people, PayPal will give citizens worldwide more direct control over their currencies than they ever had before. It will be nearly impossible for [[Corruption|corrupt]] governments to steal wealth from their people through their old means because if they try the people will switch to [[Dollar|dollars]] or Pounds or Yen, in effect dumping the worthless local currency for something more secure. ** [[Peter Thiel]], In a speech delivered at [[wikipedia:PayPal|PayPal]] in 1999, as remembered by Eric M. Jackson in ''The PayPal Wars'' * It's something very personal, a very important thing. Hell! It's a family motto. Are you ready Jerry? I wanna make sure you're ready, brother. Here it is: ''Show me the money. SHOW! ME! THE! MONEY!'' Jerry, it is such a pleasure to say that! Say it with me one time, Jerry. ** "Rod Tidwell" (played by Cuba Gooding, Jr.) in the film ''[[Jerry Maguire]]'' (1996), written and directed by [[w:Cameron Crowe|Cameron Crowe]]. * Not greedy of filthy lucre. ** I Timothy, III. 3. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * The love of money is the root of all evil. ** I Timothy, VI. 10. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * Money is a new form of slavery, and distinguishable from the old simply by the fact that it is impersonal — that there is no human relation between master and slave. ** [[Leo Tolstoy]], ''What shall We Do Then?'' (1886). * Money has been a consensual hallucination since we abolished the gold standard. It has value because we say it does. Why should a black-and-gold plastic rectangle be any different? ** Brian Trent, ''Distant Gates of Eden Gleam'' (2015). Originally published in ''Crossed Genres'' magazine; reprinted in [[Mike Resnick]] (ed.) ''Funny Science Fiction'' * A man will be generally very old and feeble before he forgets how much money he has in the funds. ** [[Anthony Trollope]], ''Autobiography of Anthony Trollope'' (1883), Chapter IX, [http://books.google.com/books?id=u4YIAAAAQAAJ&pg=PA141&dq=%22A+man+will+be+generally+very+old+and+feeble+before+he+forgets+how+much+money+he+has+in+the+funds%22 p. 141] * It may interest some if I state that during the last twenty years I have made by literature something near £70,000. As I have said before in these pages, I look upon the result as comfortable, but not splendid. ** [[Anthony Trollope]], ''Autobiography of Anthony Trollope'' (1883), Chapter XX, [http://books.google.com/books?id=u4YIAAAAQAAJ&pg=PA327&vq=%22may+interest+some+if+I+state+that+during+the+last+twenty+years+I+have+made+by+literature+something+%22&dq=%22A+man+will+be+generally+very+old+and+feeble+before+he+forgets+how+much+money+he+has+in+the+funds%22&source=gbs_search_s&cad=0 p. 327] * Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score. The real excitement is playing the game. ** [[Donald Trump]], ''[[w:Trump: The Art of the Deal|Trump: The Art of the Deal]]'' (1987) by Donald Trump and Tony Schwartz, p. 63 * A fool and his money be soon at debate. ** [[Thomas Tusser]], ''Good Husbandry''. "A fool and his money are soon parted." George Buchanan, tutor to James VI. of Scotland, to a courtier after winning a bet as to which could make the coarser verse. See Walsh, ''Handy Book of Literary Curiosities''. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * Simple rules for saving money.<br/>To save ''half'': When you are fired by an eager impulse to contribute to a charity, wait, and count to forty.<br/>To save ''three-quarters'', count sixty.<br/>To save it ''all'', count sixty-five. ** [[Mark Twain]], ''More Tramps Abroad'' (1897), Chapter 50. == U == * Sex is like money; only too much is enough. ** [[John Updike]], ''Couples'' (1968), p.&nbsp;437. == V == [[File:Papier toaletowy.jpg|thumb| ''[[w:Pecunia non olet|Pecunia non olet]]'' — [[Vespasian]] ("money doesn't smell")]] * ''[[w:Pecunia non olet|Pecunia non olet]]'' ** Money does not smell. ** [[w:Vespasian|Vespasian]], in his response on being reproached by his son on taking money as a tax on urine, collected from public urinals in Rome, as quoted by [[Suetonius]] in ''The Twelve Caesars: Vespasian''. * Men hate the individual whom they call avaricious only because nothing can be gained from him. ** [[Voltaire]] in "Avarice" in the ''Philosophical Dictionary'' (1764). * It is more easy to write on money than to obtain it; and those who gain it, jest much at those who only know how to write about it. ** [[Voltaire]], ''Philosophical Dictionary''. * When it is a question of money, everybody is of the same [[religion]]. ** [[Voltaire]], in a letter to Mme. D'Épinal Ferney (26 December 1760). * ''On en trouve [l'argent] toujours quand il s’agit d’aller faire tuer des hommes sur la frontière: il n’y en a plus quand il faut les sauver.'' ** Money is always to be found when men are to be sent to the frontiers to be destroyed: when the object is to preserve them, it is no longer so. *** [[Voltaire]], ''Questions sur l'Encyclopédie'', "Charity" (1770) == W == * Let us all be happy, and live within our means, even if we have to borrow money to do it with. ** [[Artemus Ward]] [Charles Farrar Brown] in "Science and Natural History" in ''The London Punch Letters'' (1865-6). * Cash. I just am not happy when I don't have it. The minute I have it I have to spend it. And I just buy STUPID THINGS. ** [[Andy Warhol]], ''From A to B and Back Again'' (1975). * Money is the MOMENT to me. </br>Money is my MOOD. ** [[Andy Warhol]], ''From A to b and back Again'' (1975). * No honest man has been able to save any money in the last twenty years. ** [[Evelyn Waugh]], {{cite journal|title=Evelyn Waugh Face to Face BBC Interview|date=May 21, 2012|journal=george harris, YouTube|url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvtjUt0GzKg&t=1566s}} (quote at 26:06 of 29:39; interview conducted by {{w|John Freeman (British politician)|John Freeman}} in June 1960; introduction by {{w|Joan Bakewell}}) * '''Having, First, gained all you can, and, Secondly saved all you can, Then give all you can.''' ** [[John Wesley]], Sermon 50 "The Use of Money" in ''The Works of the Reverend John Wesley, A.M.'' (1840) edited by John Emory, Vol. I, p. 446 ** Popularly paraphrased as: <br>'''Make all you can,''' <br>'''Save all you can,''' <br>'''Give all you can.''' * We are in danger of being overwhelmed with irredeemable paper, mere paper, representing not gold nor silver; no, Sir, representing nothing but broken promises, bad faith, bankrupt corporations, cheated creditors, and a ruined people. ** [[Daniel Webster]], ''The Works of Daniel Webster'' (Boston, MA:Little, Brown, 1890), p. 413 * Neither can anything we desire be got without [[money]], or what money represents, ''i.e.'' without the command of exchangeable things.&nbsp; All the things that we so often say "cannot be had for money" we might with [[equal]] [[truth]] say cannot be had or enjoyed without it.&nbsp; [[Friendship]] cannot be had for money, but how often do the things that money commands enable us to form and develop our friendships!&nbsp; …<!--Page 154-->&nbsp; But '''even "[[waiting]]" requires money''', if not so much as [[marrying]] does.&nbsp; '''In fact, a [[human|man]] can be neither a [[saint]], nor a [[lover]], nor a [[poet]], unless he has comparatively recently had [[food|something]] to [[eat]].'''&nbsp; The things that money commands are strictly necessary to the realisation on [[earth]] of any programme whatsoever.&nbsp; The range of things, then, that money can command in no case [[secures]] any of those [[experiences]] or states of [[consciousness]] which make up the whole body of ultimately [[desired]] things, and yet none of the things that we ultimately desire can be had except on the basis of the things that money can command.&nbsp; Hence nothing that we really want can infallibly be secured by things that can be exchanged, but neither can it under any circumstances be enjoyed without them. **[[Philip Wicksteed]], "[http://mises.org/books/commonsense1.pdf Money and Exchange]," ch. 4 of ''[[The Common Sense of Political Economy]]'', Book I, ''Systematic and Constructive'', contained in ed. [[Lionel Robbins]], ''The Common Sense of Political Economy and Selected Papers and Reviews on Economic Theory'' vol. I (London: Routledge & Kegan Paul LTD, 1910, 1933, 1957), pp. 153–154. * A dollar is something that you multiply — something that causes an expansion of your house and your mechanical equipment, something that accelerates like speed; and that may be also slowed up or deflated. It is a value that may be totally imaginary, yet can for a time provide half-realized dreams. ** [[Edmund Wilson]], ''Europe without Baedeker'' (1947). * A great industrial nation is controlled by its system of credit. Our system of credit is privately concentrated. The growth of the nation, therefore, and all our activities are in the hands of a few men ... * We have come to be one of the worst ruled, one of the most completely controlled and dominated Governments in the civilized world &mdash; no longer a Government by free opinion, no longer a Government by conviction and the vote of the majority, but a Government by the opinion and duress of a small group of dominant men. ** [[Woodrow Wilson]], 28th US President, [http://books.google.com/books?id=MW8SAAAAIAAJ ''The New Freedom''] (1913), pages 185 and 201. These two quotes are often put together. * I get a few bruises, but I think of the money and I'm alright. ** [[w:Norman Wisdom|Sir Norman Wisdom]] (As stated on 'Pulling Power', an ITV motoring program c. 2000). * It is money makes the mare to trot. ** [[John Wolcot]], ''Ode to Pitt''. Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. * No, let the monarch's bags and coffers hold<br>The flattering, mighty, nay, all-mighty gold. ** [[John Wolcot]], ''To Kieu Long'', ''Ode IV''. * I think this piece will help to boil thy pot. ** [[John Wolcot]], ''The bard complimenteth Mr. West on his Lord Nelson'' (c. 1790). (Probably first use of "pot-boiler."). Reported in ''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1922), p. 521-24. ==X== [[File:Luca Giordano - Xanthippe schuettet Sokrates Wasser in den Kragen.jpg|thumb|Those who take money are bound to carry out the work for which they get a fee, while I, because I refuse to take it, am not obliged to talk with anyone against my will. ~ [[Socrates]]]] * Those who take money are bound to carry out the work for which they get a fee, while I, because I refuse to take it, am not obliged to talk with anyone against my will. ** [[Xenophon]], [[Socrates]] in ''[[Memorabilia (Xenophon)|Memorabilia]]'', 1.6.1 == Anonymous == * Money isn't everything, but it's way ahead of whatever's in second place. ** Reportedly seen on a "sign in a Philadelphia bar and grill," as quoted in "Here's the Pitch" by Frank Finch, in ''The Los Angeles Times'' (June 10, 1958) ==''Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations'' (1989)== * All the perplexities, confusions, and distresses in America arise, not from defects in their constitution or confederation, not from a want of honor or virtue, so much as from downright ignorance of the nature of coin, credit, and circulation. ** [[John Adams]], letter to Thomas Jefferson, August 25, 1787. Charles Francis Adams, ed., ''The Works of John Adams'' (1853), vol. 8, p. 447. * Money is power, and you ought to be reasonably ambitious to have it. ** [[Russell H. Conwell]], ''Acres of Diamonds'', p. 20 (1915). Conwell, founder and first president of Temple University, delivered this address more than 6,000 times from 1877 until his death in 1925. * As this body has no authority to make anything whatever a tender in payment of private debts, it necessarily follows that nothing but gold and silver coin can be made a legal tender for that purpose, and that Congress cannot authorize the payment in any species of paper currency of any other debts but those due to the United States, or such debts of the United States as may, by special contract, be made payable in such paper. ** [[Albert Gallatin]], Considerations on the Currency and Banking System of the United States, 1831, in Henry Adams, ed., ''The Writings of Albert Gallatin'' (1879), vol. 3, p. 235. * For the folk-community does not exist on the fictitious value of money but on the results of productive labour, which is what gives money its value. ** [[Adolf Hitler]], speech to the German Reichstag, January 30, 1937. ''The Speeches of Adolf Hitler, April 1922–August 1939'', trans. and ed. Norman H. Baynes, vol. 1, p. 937 (1969). * If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issuance of their currency, first by inflation and then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around them will deprive the people of all their property until their children will wake up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered. ** Attributed to [[Thomas Jefferson]]; reported as "obviously spurious" in ''Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations'' (1989) (noting that "[a]lthough Jefferson was opposed to paper money... [i]nflation was listed in Webster's dictionary of 1864, according to the ''Oxford English Dictionary'', but the OED gives 1920 as the earliest use of deflation"). See [[#Misattributed|Misattributed]] below. * In truth, the gold standard is already a barbarous relic. ** [[John Maynard Keynes]], ''Monetary Reform'' (1924), p. 187. * The best way to destroy the capitalist system is to debauch the currency. ** Attributed to [[Vladimir Ilich Lenin]] by John Maynard Keynes, ''The Economic Consequences of the Peace'' (1920, reprinted 1971), p. 235. Keynes says, "Lenin is said to have declared …" Despite careful searching by the European Division of the Library of Congress, this has not been found in Lenin's writings and remains Reported as unverified in ''Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations'' (1989). * God gave me my money. I believe the power to make money is a gift from God … to be developed and used to the best of our ability for the good of mankind. Having been endowed with the gift I possess, I believe it is my duty to make money and still more money and to use the money I make for the good of my fellow man according to the dictates of my conscience. ** [[John D. Rockefeller]], interview in 1905.—Peter Collier and David Horowitz, The Rockefellers, an American Dynasty, chapter 3, p. 48 (1976). Rockefeller assumed giving to charity was a Christian duty, and did so throughout his life. Later in life he began to "have the semimystical feeling that he had been especially selected as the frail vessel for the great fortune" (p. 48). * "Not worth a Continental dam" had its origin about this time [1780]. It is not a profane expression. A "dam" is an Indian coin of less value than one cent and a Continental one cent was next to worthless when it took six pounds, or about thirty dollars to buy a "warm dinner". ** [[Oliver Taylor]], ''Historic Sullivan'', p. 97 (1909), footnote. Other versions of this phrase include "Not worth a Continental" and "Not worth a Continental Damn". While other writers do not include the Indian connection, they agree the phrase arose when Continental money became worthless toward the end of the Revolution. See Mitford M. Mathews, ''A Dictionary of Americanisms'', p. 383 (1951). * He who tampers with the currency robs labor of its bread. ** [[Daniel Webster]], speech delivered at Niblo's Saloon, New York City, March 15, 1837. ''The Works of Daniel Webster'', 10th ed. (1857), vol. 1, p. 377. {{Misattributed begin}} == Misattributed == * In the Colonies, we issue our own paper money. It is called 'Colonial Scrip.' We issue it in proper proportion to make the goods and pass easily from the producers to the consumers. In this manner, creating ourselves our own paper money, we control its purchasing power and we have no interest to pay to no one. In this manner, by creating ourselves our own paper money, we control its purchasing power, and we have no interest to pay, to anyone. You see, a legitimate government can both spend and lend money into circulation, while banks can only lend significant amounts of their promissory bank notes, for they can neither give away nor spend but a tiny fraction of the money the people need. Thus, when your bankers here in England place money in circulation, there is always a debt principal to be returned and usury to be paid. The result is that you have always too little credit in circulation to give the workers full employment. You do not have too many workers, you have too little money in circulation, and that which circulates, all bears the endless burden of unpayable debt and usury. ** Attributed to [[Benjamin Franklin]]'s Autobiography. These words do not appear there, although he expressed vaguely similar ideas in his 1729 essay on paper currency. The attribution may date to a 1949 address to the Canadian House of Commons by [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solon_Earl_Low Solon Low]. * It is perhaps well enough that the people of the Nation do not know or understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did I believe there would be a revolution before tomorrow morning. ** Variant: If the American people knew the corruption in our money system there would be revolution before morning. ** Attributed to [[Henry Ford]] by Charles Binderup (March 19, 1937), ''Congressional Record—House'' '''81''':2528. The quote is preceded by "It was Henry Ford who said, in substance, this," indicating that it was not a direct quote, but a paraphrase of his memoir ''My Life and Work'' * If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation then by [[deflation]], the banks and the corporations will grow up around them, will deprive the people of all property until their children wake up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered. The issuing power should be taken from the banks and restored to the people, to whom it properly belongs. ** Attributed to [[Thomas Jefferson]], ''The Debate Over The Recharter Of The Bank Bill'', (1809). No such document exists. The book ''Respectfully Quoted'' says this is "obviously spurious", noting that the OED's earliest citation for the word "deflation" in its financial sense is from 1920. Before that, the term "contraction" was used instead. The earliest known appearance of this quote is from 1935 (Testimony of Charles C. Mayer, ''Hearings Before the Committee on Banking and Currency, House of Representatives, Seventy-fourth Congress, First Session, on H.R. 5357'', p.&nbsp;799). * I have two great enemies, the southern army in front of me and the financial institutions, in the rear. Of the two, the one in the rear is the greatest enemy. ** Attributed to [[Abraham Lincoln]]. Not found in Lincoln's works. This earliest this quote has been found is 1941. * I see in the future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble for the safety of my country. As a result of the war, corporations have been enthroned and an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money power of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign by working upon the prejudices of the people until wealth is aggregated in a few hands and the Republic is destroyed. I feel at this moment more anxiety for the safety of my country than ever before, even in the midst of the war. ** Attributed to [[Abraham Lincoln]], but not found in his works and denounced by his personal secretary as a forgery * The government should create, issue and circulate all the currency and credit needed to satisfy the spending power of the government and the buying power of consumers..... The privilege of creating and issuing money is not only the supreme prerogative of Government, but it is the Government's greatest creative opportunity. By the adoption of these principles, the long-felt want for a uniform medium will be satisfied. The taxpayers will be saved immense sums of interest, discounts and exchanges. The financing of all public enterprises, the maintenance of stable government and ordered progress, and the conduct of the Treasury will become matters of practical administration. The people can and will be furnished with a currency as safe as their own government. Money will cease to be the master and become the servant of humanity. Democracy will rise superior to the money power. ** Attributed to [[Abraham Lincoln]]. These are not Lincoln's own words, but just [[w:Gerald Grattan McGeer|Gerry McGeer]]'s interpretation of Lincoln's policy. {{cite book | last = McGeer | first = Gerald Grattan | authorlink =w:Gerald Grattan McGeer | title = The Conquest of Poverty | chapter = 5 - Lincoln, Practical Economist | url = http://www.heritech.com/yamaguchy/mcgeer/mcgeer_index.html | accessdate = 2008-12-30 | year = 1935 | publisher = Garden City Press | location = Gardenvale, Quebec | pages = 186ff. }} * History records that the money changers have used every form of abuse, intrigue, deceit, and violent means possible to maintain their control over governments by controlling the money and its issuance. ** Attributed to [[James Madison]], 4th US President. This is actually a comment by Olive Cushing Dwinell in her book ''The Story of Our Money'' (1946), pp.&nbsp;71–72. * Permit me to issue and control the money of a nation, and I care not who makes its laws! ** Attributed to [[w:Mayer Amschel Rothschild|Mayer Amschel Rothschild]] (1744–1812). Called "an apocryphal statement" by Nicholls, B. (2024). ''The communist empty signifier: the Australian League of Rights and the Voice to Parliament referendum''. Continuum, 38(6), 915–933. https://doi.org/10.1080/10304312.2024.2441311. No primary source for this is known and the earliest known attribution is in 1935 (''Money Creators'', Gertrude M. Coogan). Before that, "Let us control the money of a nation, and we care not who makes its laws" was said to be a [http://books.google.com/books?id=Q7MPAAAAIAAJ&pg=PA771&dq=%22let+us+control+the+money+of+a+country%22 "maxim" of the House of Rothschilds], or, even more vaguely, of the [http://books.google.com/books?id=zqkfAAAAMAAJ&pg=RA2-PA6&dq=%22let+us+control+the+money+of+a+country%22 "money lenders of the Old World"]. This is a play on an English proverb, [[Andrew Fletcher|Let me make the songs of a nation, and I care not who makes its laws]]. * The few who understand the system, will either be so interested in its profits, or so dependent on its favors that there will be no opposition from that class, while on the other hand, the great body of people, mentally incapable of comprehending the tremendous advantages...will bear its burden without complaint, and perhaps without suspecting that the system is inimical to their best interests. ** Attributed to [[w:John Sherman (politician)|Senator John Sherman]] in a letter supposedly sent from the [[w:Rothschild banking family of England|Rothschild Brothers of London]] to New York bankers Ikleheimer, Morton, and Vandergould, June 25, 1863. The letters are forgeries that could not have been written at the time alleged, since they refer to an 1876 court case. Further, no evidence of a firm with the name "Ikleheimer, Morton, and Vandergould" has been found. * If this mischievous financial policy, which has its origin in North America, shall become indurated down to a fixture, then that Government will furnish its own money without cost. It will pay off debts and be without debt. It will have all the money necessary to carry on its commerce. It will become prosperous without precedent in the history of the world. The brains, and wealth of all countries will go to North America. That country must be destroyed or it will destroy every monarchy on the globe. ** Attributed to an editorial in the ''Times'' of London in 1865. No such editorial ever appeared. The earliest known appearance is in ''The Flaming Sword'', Vol. XII, No. 42 (2 September 1898), [http://books.google.com/books?id=ylcsAAAAYAAJ&pg=RA15-PA16-IA7&dq=%22mischievous%20financial%20policy%22 p. 7] {{Misattributed end}} == See also == {{col-begin}} {{col-2}} * [[Abundance]] * [[Accounting]] * [[Banks]] * [[Capitalism]] * [[Commodity]] * [[Corruption]] * [[Currency]] * [[Democracy]] * [[Economics]] * [[Fear]] * [[Greed]] * [[Hunger]] * [[Mammon]] * [[Materialism]] {{col-2}} * [[Poverty]] * [[Profit|Profits]] * [[Scarcity]] * [[Selfishness]] * [[Sharing]] * [[Status quo]] * [[Trade]] * [[Totalitarianism]] * [[Tyranny]] * [[Usury]] * [[Wage]] * [[Wealth]] {{col-end}} == External links == {{wikipedia}} {{wiktionary|money}} {{commonscat}} [[Category:Business]] [[Category:Commerce]] [[Category:Economics]] [[Category:Wealth]] i3kazqpxu5jpyqa3z6jv5gr6ynehcp4 0 127973 3942045 3927166 2026-05-17T12:40:13Z Filmator1 3314256 /* */ 3942045 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} [[File:X-Men_%E2%80%93_First_Class_Logo.png|thumb|right|"Erik, you said yourself, we're the better men. This is the time to prove it. There are thousands of men on those ships – good, honest, innocent men! They're just following orders–"<br>"I've been at the mercy of men 'just following orders'. Never again."]] [[File:X_symbol_from_X-Men_logo.svg|thumb|"You've known all along why I was here, Charles. But things have changed. What started as a covert mission. Tomorrow, Mankind will know that Mutants exist. [[w:Sebastian Shaw (character)|Shaw]], us, they won't differentiate. They'll fear us. And that fear will turn to hatred."<br>"Not if we stop a war. Not if we can prevent Shaw. Not if we risk our lives doing so."<br>"Would they do the same for us?"<br>"We have it in us to be the better men."<br>"We already are. We're the next stage of human evolution."]] [[File:Magneto_icon.png|thumb|There's so much more to you than you know. Not just pain and anger. There's good too, I felt it. When you can access all that. You'll possess a power no one can match. Not even me.]] [[File:HMS_Ambush.jpg|thumb|Remember, '''the point between rage and serenity.''']] '''''[[w:X-Men: First Class|X-Men: First Class]]''''' is a 2011 British-American superhero film directed by [[w:Matthew Vaughn|Matthew Vaughn]]. The storyline follows before the events of [[w:X-Men Origins: Wolverine|X-Men Origins: Wolverine]]. It focuses on the relationship between [[w:Professor X|Charles Xavier]] and [[w:Magneto (comics)|Erik Lensherr]] before they formed their recent groups—the [[w:X-Men|X-Men]] and the [[w:Brotherhood of Mutants|Brotherhood of Mutants]], respectively. {{center|'''Witness the moment that will change our world.''' ([[#Taglines|Taglines]])}} ==Erik Lehnsherr/Magneto== * ''[talks to a now-frozen Sebastian Shaw]'' If you're in there, I'd like you to know that I agree with every word you said. We are the future. But... unfortunately, you killed my mother. ''[pulls out the [[w:Reichsmark|Reichsmark]] coin that Shaw gave him years earlier]'' This is what we're going to do. I'm going to count to three, and I'm going to move the coin. ''[he slowly lunges the coin at his head]'' One... ''[It gets closer and closer]'' Two... Three. ''[coin penetrates his skull and shoots through his head, killing Shaw]'' * I've been at the mercy of men just following orders... never again. * ''[last lines]'' I prefer... ''Magneto''. == Dialogue == :''[At a Nazi concentration camp in occupied Poland]'' :'''Klaus Schmidt''': Understand this, Erik... these Nazis, I'm not like them. Genes are the key, yes? But their goals? Blue eyes? Blonde hair? Pathetic. ''[he gives him a chocolate bar]'' Eat the chocolate. It's good. Want some? :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': I want to see my mama. :'''Klaus Schmidt''': Genes are the key that unlocks the door to a new age, Erik. A new future for mankind. Evolution. You know what I'm talking about? It's a simple thing I ask of you. ''[gestures to a small Nazi coin on the desk]'' A little coin is nothing compared to a big gate. Is it? ''[Erik attempts to move the coin but fails]'' :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': I tried, Herr Doctor. I can't... I don't... It's impossible. ''[this displeases Schmidt]'' :'''Klaus Schmidt''': The one thing I can say for the Nazis is their methods seem to produce results. I'm sorry, Erik. ''[rings bell to summon soldiers who come in with his mother]'' :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': Mama! :'''Mrs. Lehnsherr''': My darling. ''[she embraces him and speaks in a hushed voice]'' How are you? :'''Klaus Schmidt''': ''[he gestures to the soldiers to hold her back]'' Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to count to three... ''[he opens a drawer and pulls out a gun]'' ...and you're going to move the coin. You don't move the coin, I pull the trigger. ''[he points the gun at his mother]'' Understand? ''[Erik attempts to move it again without success with a sense of urgency]'' One. :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': ''[he looks to his mother]'' Mama. :'''Mrs. Lehnsherr''': You can do it. :'''Klaus Schmidt''': Two. ''[he grows impatient]'' :'''Mrs. Lehnsherr''': Everything is alright. ''[Erik concentrates even harder]'' :'''Klaus Schmidt''': Three. ''[he shoots and kills Erik's mother; trauma enrages Erik into crushing a small metal bell]'' Yes. Wonderful. ''[sees Erik crush a metal filing cabinet]'' Excellent. ''[Erik loses control of his rage and crushes the soldiers' helmets on their heads before sending all metal objects across the room. Schmidt consoles him after he crises]'' Outstanding, Erik. So we unlock your gift with anger. Anger and pain. You and me... we're going to have a lot of fun together. ''[he leaves the Nazi coin in Erik's hand and he leaves]'' <hr width=50%> :''[at a German bar in Argentina, Erik Lehnsherr orders a beer, then notices a photo of Schmidt on the wall with two other men]'' :'''Erik Lensherr''': ''[In German, as his order is brought]'' German beer? :'''Bartender''': ''[In Spanish]'' Of course. :'''Pig Farmer''': ''[In German]'' Yes,, it's Bitburger. Tastes good, eh? ''[laughs]'' :'''Erik Lensherr''': ''[In German, taking a drink]''... The best. ''[He turns to the two other patrons, who happen to be the men in the photo]'' What brings you to Argentina? :'''Pig Farmer''': ''[In German]'' The weather. I'm a pig farmer. ''[chuckles]'' :'''Tailor''': ''[In German]'' Tailor. Since I was a boy. My father made the finest suits in Dusseldorf. :'''Erik Lensherr''': My parents were from Dusseldorf! :'''Tailor''': Really? :'''Erik Lensherr''': Yeah! ''[He comes to their table and sits down]'' :'''Tailor''': What were their names? :'''Erik Lensherr''': Oh, they ''had'' no names. Their names were ''stolen from them... by pig farmers, and tailors. :''[He grins slyly as he toasts the two men; they glance at each other uneasily as all three drink. Erik uncovers the number tattoo on his arm from Auschwitz. The pig farmer suddenly draws a Hitler Youth dagger, but Erik catches his wrist and wrenches the knife away]'' :'''Erik Lensherr''': ''[reads knife inscription]'' "Blood and honor." Which would you care to shed first? :'''Pig Farmer''': We were under orders! :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': ''Blood'', then. ''[pins his hand to the table with the knife, causing the pig farmer to scream in agony]'' :'''Bartender''': ''[points pistol at Erik, in Spanish]'' Freeze, asshole! :'''Pig farmer''': ''[in German]'' Come on, shoot! :''[Erik controls the pistol to be aimed at the tailor, and fires at him. He throws the knife to stab the bartender, and brings it back to jam into the pig farmer's wounded hand while finishing his glass.]'' :'''Pig farmer''': ''[In German]'' Who...''What'' are you?!? :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': ''[in English]'' Let's just say I'm Frankenstein's monster. ''[glances at the picture of Klaus Schmidt]'' ...and I'm looking for my creator. ''[picks up bartender's pistol and shoots the pig farmer]'' <hr width=50%> :'''Charles Xavier''': You have a chance to become a part of something much bigger than yourself. :'''Erik Lensherr''': What do you know about me? :'''Charles Xavier''': Everything. <hr width=50%> [[File:Wolverine-claws.png|thumb|"Excuse me, I'm Erik Lehnsherr."<br>"Charles Xavier."<br>"Go fuck yourself."]] :''[Erik and Charles walk into a bar and approach [[w:Wolverine (comics)|Logan]] as he is smoking a cigar]'' :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': Excuse me, I'm Erik Lehnsherr. :'''Charles Xavier''': Charles Xavier. :'''Logan''': Go fuck yourself. <hr width=50%> :''[Shaw meets a Russian general in Moscow]'' :'''Russian General''': Hello. :'''Shaw Sebastian''': ''[in Russian]'' Once again, my sympathies for your treatment at the hands of the CIA. :'''Russian General''': These Americans are ruthless. :'''Shaw Sebastian''': Now they have their missiles placed in Turkey... I expect you'll be planning new missile sites of your own. Somewhere you know the American early-warning system won't help. I hear Cuba is lovely this time of year. And so close to Florida. :'''Russian General''': Missiles in Cuba? You're serious? We may as well declare war. :'''Shaw Sebastian''': Maybe I wasn't clear enough. You will make this happen. :'''Russian General''': Okay. Let's see what KGB think about this. ''[he picks up the phone]'' Hello? General Armivolkoff. ''[the rest of the Hellfire Club appears]'' It's nothing. ''[he hangs up and meets their demands]'' <hr width=50%> :''[Mystique stands naked before Charles in the kitchen, just like when they first met]'' :'''Mystique''': You know, sometimes I wonder what my life would've been like if you haven't found me here that night. :'''Charles Xavier''': Sorry, what? You... ''[sees her and averts his eyes]'' Yaah! God's sake, Raven, where are your clothes? Pu... put... put some clothes on&ndash; :'''Mystique''': That's not what you said when you first saw me. But I guess pets are always cuter when they're little, right? :'''Charles Xavier''': Raven, I don't know what's gotten into you lately. I swear, you've been in a good mood. Hank, he tells me that he has found the answer to your cosmetic... ''[slight pause]'' problem. You gotta tell me what's the matter, or I'll have to read your mind. :'''Mystique''': ''[looking deeply hurt]'' You promised me you would never do that. :'''Charles Xavier''': Until recently, I never had to use my powers to know what you were thinking, Raven. :'''Mystique''': ''[angrily]'' You know, Charles, I used to think it was gonna be you and me against the world. But no matter how ''bad'' the world gets, you don't wanna be against it, do you? You want to be part of it. ''[leaves]'' <hr width=50%> :''[After Moira, Charles and Erik found Raven and the others are dancing to loud music and showing off their powers]'' :'''Moira MacTaggert''': What are you doing?! Who destroyed the statue? :'''Hank McCoy''': It was Alex. :'''Mystique''': No. Havok! We have to call him Havok. That's his name now. And we were thinking, ''[pointing to Charles]'' you should be ''Professor X'' and ''[pointing to Erik]'' you should be ''Magneto''. :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': ''[sarcastically]'' Exceptional. ''[leaves. Moira follows him]'' :'''Charles Xavier''': ''[to Raven upon seeing the gang fool around]'' I expect more from you. ''[leaves]'' <hr width=50%> :''[Erik sees Sebastian Shaw in the void]'' :'''Shaw Sebastian''': Erik, what a pleasant surprise. So good to see you again. ''[Erik enters the void]'' May I ask you something? Why are you on their side? Why fight for a doomed race who will hunt us down as soon as they realize their reign is coming to an end? ''[Erik punches him in the face but their is molecular distortion to his face due to all the nuclear energy harnessed]'' I'm sorry for what happened in the camps. I truly am. ''[he shoves Erik backwards causing the wall of the void to crack]'' But everything I did, I did for you. To unlock your power. To make you embrace it. ''[shoves him across to another wall causing is to break]'' You've come a long way from bending gates. I'm so proud of you. ''[lunges metal pillars in front of him to block him]'' And your just starting to scratch the surface. Think of how much further we could go, together. ''[he walks through the pillars with much ease and presses one of them against Erik and get closer to his face]'' I don't want to hurt you, Erik. I never did. I want to help you. This is our time. Our age. We are the future of the human race. You and me, son. This world could be ours. :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': Everything you did made me stronger, it made me the weapon I am today. It's the truth. I've known it all along. You are my creator. <hr width=50%> :''[Erik stops the missiles from hitting all of them but instead redirects them at the naval ships]'' :'''Charles Xavier''': Erik, you said yourself, we're the better man. This is the time to prove it. There are thousands of men on those ships &ndash; good, honest, innocent men! They're just following orders&ndash; ''[realizes what he just said]'' :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': I've been at the mercy of men "just following orders". Never again. ''[he sends the missiles shooting off towards the naval ships]'' <hr width=50%> :''[Erik addresses the other mutants on the beach]'' :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': This society won't accept us. We form our own. The humans have played their hand. Now we get ready to play ours. Who's with me? ''[looks to Mystique]'' No more hiding. :'''Charles Xavier''': ''[she kneels by Charles]'' You should go with him. It's what you want. :'''Mystique''': You promised me you'd never read my mind. :'''Charles Xavier''': I've promised you a great many things, I'm afraid. I'm sorry. :'''Mystique''': ''[to Moira]'' Take care of him. ''[she goes and stands next to Erik and Riptide, Azazel, and Angel all join as well]'' Hey, Beast! Never forget &ndash; mutant and proud! ''[they disappear]'' <hr width=50%> :''[Erik goes to CIA facility to break out Emma Frost]'' :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': I know we've had our differences. :'''Emma Frost''': Where's your telepath friend? :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': Gone. Left a bit of a gap in my life, if I am to be honest. I was rather hoping you could fill it. Join us. :'''Frost''': ''[she notices the rest of the Brotherhood]'' Erik, I believe? :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': I prefer... ''Magneto''. ==Taglines== *Witness the moment that will change the world. == Cast == * [[w:James McAvoy|James McAvoy]] &ndash; [[w:Professor X|Charles Xavier]] (24 Years) ** [[w:Laurence Belcher|Laurence Belcher]] &ndash; Charles Xavier (12 Years) * [[w:Michael Fassbender|Michael Fassbender]] &ndash; [[w:Magneto (comics)|Erik Lensherr]] (26 years) ** [[w:Bill Milner|Bill Milner]] &ndash; Erik Lehnsherr (14 years) * [[w:Kevin Bacon|Kevin Bacon]] &ndash; [[w:Sebastian Shaw (comics)|Sebastian Shaw]]/Klaus Schmidt * [[w:Rose Byrne|Rose Byrne]] &ndash; [[w:Moira MacTaggert|Moira MacTaggert]] * [[Jennifer Lawrence]] &ndash; Raven Darkholme/[[w:Mystique (comics)|Mystique]] ** [[w:Morgan Lily|Morgan Lily]] &ndash; Young Raven (10 Years) * [[w:Beth Goddard|Beth Goddard]] &ndash; Mrs. Xavier * [[w:Oliver Platt|Oliver Platt]] &ndash; Man in Black Suit * [[w:Alex González|Alex González]] &ndash; Janos Quested/[[w:Riptide (comics)|Riptide]] * [[w:Jason Flemyng|Jason Flemyng]] &ndash; [[w:Azazel (Marvel Comics)|Azazel]] * [[w:Zoë Kravitz|Zoë Kravitz]] &ndash; [[w:Angel Salvadore|Angel Salvadore]] * [[w:January Jones|January Jones]] &ndash; [[w:Emma Frost|Emma Frost]] * [[w:Nicholas Hoult|Nicholas Hoult]] &ndash; Hank/[[w:Beast (comics)|Beast]] * [[w:Caleb Landry Jones|Caleb Landry Jones]] &ndash; Cassidy/[[w:Banshee (comics)|Banshee]] * [[w:Edi Gathegi|Edi Gathegi]] &ndash; [[w:Darwin (comics)|Darwin]]/Armando Muñoz * [[w:Corey Johnson|Corey Johnson]] &ndash; Chief Warden * [[w:Lucas Till|Lucas Till]] &ndash; Alex Summers/[[w:Havok (comics)|Havok]] * [[w:Demetri Goritsas|Demetri Goritsas]] &ndash; Levene * [[w:Glenn Morshower|Glenn Morshower]] &ndash; Colonel Hendry * [[w:Matt Craven|Matt Craven]] &ndash; CIA Director McCone * [[w:James Remar|James Remar]] &ndash; US General * [[w:Ludger Pistor|Ludger Pistor]] &ndash; 1st German/Pig Farmer * Wilfried Hochholdinger &ndash; 2nd German/Tailor * Greg Kolpakchi &ndash; Russian Soldier No.1 * Andrei Zayats &ndash; Russian Soldier No.2 * [[w:Rade Šerbedžija|Rade Sherbedgia]] &ndash; Russian General == See also == * [[X-Men (film)|X-Men]] * [[X2 (film)|X-Men 2]] * [[X-Men (comics)]] * [[X-Men Origins: Wolverine]] * [[X-Men: The Last Stand|X-Men 3: The Last Stand]] * [[The Wolverine|Wolverine]] * [[X-Men: Days of Future Past]] * [[X-Men: Apocalypse]] * [[Logan (film)|Logan]] * [[Dark Phoenix (film)|X-Men: Dark Phoenix]] * [[The New Mutants]] * [[Deadpool & Wolverine]] ==External links== {{wikipedia}} * {{Official website|http://www.x-menfirstclassmovie.com}} * {{IMDb title|1270798|X-Men: First Class}} * {{Allmovie title|475797|X-Men: First Class}} * {{rotten-tomatoes|xmenfirstclass}} * {{mojo title|xmenfirstclass}} [[Category:2011 films]] [[Category:Action films]] [[Category:Comic book films]] [[Category:Science fiction films]] [[Category:2010s American films]] [[Category:British films]] [[Category:Period films]] [[Category:X-Men films]] [[Category:Films about revenge]] [[Category:Alternate history films]] [[Category:Films about disability]] [[Category:Films about shapeshifting]] [[Category:Films directed by Matthew Vaughn]] kx9wz015j628jp5izqgeha3pakhz5ch 3942047 3942045 2026-05-17T12:44:18Z Filmator1 3314256 /* Dialogue */ 3942047 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} [[File:X-Men_%E2%80%93_First_Class_Logo.png|thumb|right|"Erik, you said yourself, we're the better men. This is the time to prove it. There are thousands of men on those ships – good, honest, innocent men! They're just following orders–"<br>"I've been at the mercy of men 'just following orders'. Never again."]] [[File:X_symbol_from_X-Men_logo.svg|thumb|"You've known all along why I was here, Charles. But things have changed. What started as a covert mission. Tomorrow, Mankind will know that Mutants exist. [[w:Sebastian Shaw (character)|Shaw]], us, they won't differentiate. They'll fear us. And that fear will turn to hatred."<br>"Not if we stop a war. Not if we can prevent Shaw. Not if we risk our lives doing so."<br>"Would they do the same for us?"<br>"We have it in us to be the better men."<br>"We already are. We're the next stage of human evolution."]] [[File:Magneto_icon.png|thumb|There's so much more to you than you know. Not just pain and anger. There's good too, I felt it. When you can access all that. You'll possess a power no one can match. Not even me.]] [[File:HMS_Ambush.jpg|thumb|Remember, '''the point between rage and serenity.''']] '''''[[w:X-Men: First Class|X-Men: First Class]]''''' is a 2011 British-American superhero film directed by [[w:Matthew Vaughn|Matthew Vaughn]]. The storyline follows before the events of [[w:X-Men Origins: Wolverine|X-Men Origins: Wolverine]]. It focuses on the relationship between [[w:Professor X|Charles Xavier]] and [[w:Magneto (comics)|Erik Lensherr]] before they formed their recent groups—the [[w:X-Men|X-Men]] and the [[w:Brotherhood of Mutants|Brotherhood of Mutants]], respectively. {{center|'''Witness the moment that will change our world.''' ([[#Taglines|Taglines]])}} ==Erik Lehnsherr/Magneto== * ''[talks to a now-frozen Sebastian Shaw]'' If you're in there, I'd like you to know that I agree with every word you said. We are the future. But... unfortunately, you killed my mother. ''[pulls out the [[w:Reichsmark|Reichsmark]] coin that Shaw gave him years earlier]'' This is what we're going to do. I'm going to count to three, and I'm going to move the coin. ''[he slowly lunges the coin at his head]'' One... ''[It gets closer and closer]'' Two... Three. ''[coin penetrates his skull and shoots through his head, killing Shaw]'' * I've been at the mercy of men just following orders... never again. * ''[last lines]'' I prefer... ''Magneto''. == Dialogue == :''[At a Nazi concentration camp in occupied Poland]'' :'''Klaus Schmidt''': Understand this, Erik... these Nazis, I'm not like them. Genes are the key, yes? But their goals? Blue eyes? Blonde hair? Pathetic. ''[he gives him a chocolate bar]'' Eat the chocolate. It's good. Want some? :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': I want to see my mama. :'''Klaus Schmidt''': Genes are the key that unlocks the door to a new age, Erik. A new future for mankind. Evolution. You know what I'm talking about? It's a simple thing I ask of you. ''[gestures to a small Nazi coin on the desk]'' A little coin is nothing compared to a big gate. Is it? ''[Erik attempts to move the coin but fails]'' :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': I tried, Herr Doctor. I can't... I don't... It's impossible. ''[this displeases Schmidt]'' :'''Klaus Schmidt''': The one thing I can say for the Nazis is their methods seem to produce results. I'm sorry, Erik. ''[rings bell to summon soldiers who come in with his mother]'' :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': Mama! :'''Mrs. Lehnsherr''': My darling. ''[she embraces him and speaks in a hushed voice]'' How are you? :'''Klaus Schmidt''': ''[he gestures to the soldiers to hold her back]'' Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to count to three... ''[he opens a drawer and pulls out a gun]'' ...and you're going to move the coin. You don't move the coin, I pull the trigger. ''[he points the gun at his mother]'' Understand? ''[Erik attempts to move it again without success with a sense of urgency]'' One. :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': ''[he looks to his mother]'' Mama. :'''Mrs. Lehnsherr''': You can do it. :'''Klaus Schmidt''': Two. ''[he grows impatient]'' :'''Mrs. Lehnsherr''': Everything is alright. ''[Erik concentrates even harder]'' :'''Klaus Schmidt''': Three. ''[he shoots and kills Erik's mother; trauma enrages Erik into crushing a small metal bell]'' Yes. Wonderful. ''[sees Erik crush a metal filing cabinet]'' Excellent. ''[Erik loses control of his rage and crushes the soldiers' helmets on their heads before sending all metal objects across the room. Schmidt consoles him after he crises]'' Outstanding, Erik. So we unlock your gift with anger. Anger and pain. You and me... we're going to have a lot of fun together. ''[he leaves the Nazi coin in Erik's hand and he leaves]'' <hr width=50%> :''[at a German bar in Argentina, Erik Lehnsherr orders a beer, then notices a photo of Schmidt on the wall with two other men]'' :'''Erik Lensherr''': ''[In German, as his order is brought]'' German beer? :'''Bartender''': ''[In Spanish]'' Of course. :'''Pig Farmer''': ''[In German]'' Yes,, it's Bitburger. Tastes good, eh? ''[laughs]'' :'''Erik Lensherr''': ''[In German, taking a drink]''... The best. ''[He turns to the two other patrons, who happen to be the men in the photo]'' What brings you to Argentina? :'''Pig Farmer''': ''[In German]'' The weather. I'm a pig farmer. ''[chuckles]'' :'''Tailor''': ''[In German]'' Tailor. Since I was a boy. My father made the finest suits in Dusseldorf. :'''Erik Lensherr''': My parents were from Dusseldorf! :'''Tailor''': Really? :'''Erik Lensherr''': Yeah! ''[He comes to their table and sits down]'' :'''Tailor''': What were their names? :'''Erik Lensherr''': Oh, they ''had'' no names. Their names were ''stolen from them... by pig farmers, and tailors. :''[He grins slyly as he toasts the two men; they glance at each other uneasily as all three drink. Erik uncovers the number tattoo on his arm from Auschwitz. The pig farmer suddenly draws a Hitler Youth dagger, but Erik catches his wrist and wrenches the knife away]'' :'''Erik Lensherr''': ''[reads knife inscription]'' "Blood and honor." Which would you care to shed first? :'''Pig Farmer''': We were under orders! :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': ''Blood'', then. ''[pins his hand to the table with the knife, causing the pig farmer to scream in agony]'' :'''Bartender''': ''[points pistol at Erik, in Spanish]'' Freeze, asshole! :'''Pig farmer''': ''[in German]'' Come on, shoot! :''[Erik controls the pistol to be aimed at the tailor, and fires at him. He throws the knife to stab the bartender, and brings it back to jam into the pig farmer's wounded hand while finishing his glass.]'' :'''Pig farmer''': ''[In German]'' Who...''What'' are you?!? :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': ''[in English]'' Let's just say I'm Frankenstein's monster. ''[glances at the picture of Klaus Schmidt]'' ...and I'm looking for my creator. ''[picks up bartender's pistol and shoots the pig farmer]'' <hr width=50%> :'''Charles Xavier''': You have a chance to become a part of something much bigger than yourself. :'''Erik Lensherr''': What do you know about me? :'''Charles Xavier''': Everything. <hr width=50%> [[File:Wolverine-claws.png|thumb|"Excuse me, I'm Erik Lehnsherr."<br>"Charles Xavier."<br>"Go fuck yourself."]] :''[Erik and Charles walk into a bar and approach [[w:Wolverine (comics)|Logan]] as he is smoking a cigar]'' :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': Excuse me, I'm Erik Lehnsherr. :'''Charles Xavier''': Charles Xavier. :'''Logan''': Go fuck yourself. <hr width=50%> :''[Shaw meets a Russian general in Moscow]'' :'''Russian General''': Hello. :'''Shaw Sebastian''': ''[in Russian]'' Once again, my sympathies for your treatment at the hands of the CIA. :'''Russian General''': These Americans are ruthless. :'''Shaw Sebastian''': Now they have their missiles placed in Turkey... I expect you'll be planning new missile sites of your own. Somewhere you know the American early-warning system won't help. I hear Cuba is lovely this time of year. And so close to Florida. :'''Russian General''': Missiles in Cuba? You're serious? We may as well declare war. :'''Shaw Sebastian''': Maybe I wasn't clear enough. You will make this happen. :'''Russian General''': Okay. Let's see what KGB think about this. ''[he picks up the phone]'' Hello? General Armivolkoff. ''[the rest of the Hellfire Club appears]'' It's nothing. ''[he hangs up and meets their demands]'' <hr width=50%> :''[Mystique stands naked before Charles in the kitchen, just like when they first met]'' :'''Mystique''': You know, sometimes I wonder what my life would've been like if you haven't found me here that night. :'''Charles Xavier''': Sorry, what? You... ''[sees her and averts his eyes]'' Yaah! God's sake, Raven, where are your clothes? Pu... put... put some clothes on&ndash; :'''Mystique''': That's not what you said when you first saw me. But I guess pets are always cuter when they're little, right? :'''Charles Xavier''': Raven, I don't know what's gotten into you lately. I swear, you've been in a good mood. Hank, he tells me that he has found the answer to your cosmetic... ''[slight pause]'' problem. You gotta tell me what's the matter, or I'll have to read your mind. :'''Mystique''': ''[looking deeply hurt]'' You promised me you would never do that. :'''Charles Xavier''': Until recently, I never had to use my powers to know what you were thinking, Raven. :'''Mystique''': ''[angrily]'' You know, Charles, I used to think it was gonna be you and me against the world. But no matter how ''bad'' the world gets, you don't wanna be against it, do you? You want to be part of it. ''[leaves]'' <hr width=50%> :''[After Moira, Charles and Erik found Raven and the others are dancing to loud music and showing off their powers]'' :'''Moira MacTaggert''': What are you doing?! Who destroyed the statue? :'''Hank McCoy''': It was Alex. :'''Mystique''': No. Havok! We have to call him Havok. That's his name now. And we were thinking, ''[pointing to Charles]'' you should be ''Professor X'' and ''[pointing to Erik]'' you should be ''Magneto''. :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': ''[sarcastically]'' Exceptional. ''[leaves. Moira follows him]'' :'''Charles Xavier''': ''[to Raven upon seeing the gang fool around]'' I expect more from you. ''[leaves]'' <hr width=50%> :''[Erik sees Sebastian Shaw in the void]'' :'''Shaw Sebastian''': Erik, what a pleasant surprise. So good to see you again. ''[Erik enters the void]'' May I ask you something? Why are you on their side? Why fight for a doomed race who will hunt us down as soon as they realize their reign is coming to an end? ''[Erik punches him in the face but their is molecular distortion to his face due to all the nuclear energy harnessed]'' I'm sorry for what happened in the camps. I truly am. ''[he shoves Erik backwards causing the wall of the void to crack]'' But everything I did, I did for you. To unlock your power. To make you embrace it. ''[shoves him across to another wall causing is to break]'' You've come a long way from bending gates. I'm so proud of you. ''[lunges metal pillars in front of him to block him]'' And your just starting to scratch the surface. Think of how much further we could go, together. ''[he walks through the pillars with much ease and presses one of them against Erik and get closer to his face]'' I don't want to hurt you, Erik. I never did. I want to help you. This is our time. Our age. We are the future of the human race. You and me, son. This world could be ours. :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': Everything you did made me stronger, it made me the weapon I am today. It's the truth. I've known it all along. You are my creator. <hr width=50%> :''[Erik stops the missiles from hitting all of them but instead redirects them at the naval ships]'' :'''Charles Xavier''': Erik, you said yourself, we're the better men. This is the time to prove it. There are thousands of men on those ships &ndash; good, honest, innocent men! They're just following orders&ndash; ''[realizes what he just said]'' :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': I've been at the mercy of men "just following orders". Never again. ''[he sends the missiles shooting off towards the naval ships]'' <hr width=50%> :''[Erik addresses the other mutants on the beach]'' :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': This society won't accept us. We form our own. The humans have played their hand. Now we get ready to play ours. Who's with me? ''[looks to Mystique]'' No more hiding. :'''Charles Xavier''': ''[she kneels by Charles]'' You should go with him. It's what you want. :'''Mystique''': You promised me you'd never read my mind. :'''Charles Xavier''': I've promised you a great many things, I'm afraid. I'm sorry. :'''Mystique''': ''[to Moira]'' Take care of him. ''[she goes and stands next to Erik and Riptide, Azazel, and Angel all join as well]'' Hey, Beast! Never forget &ndash; mutant and proud! ''[they disappear]'' <hr width=50%> :''[Erik goes to CIA facility to break out Emma Frost]'' :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': I know we've had our differences. :'''Emma Frost''': Where's your telepath friend? :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': Gone. Left a bit of a gap in my life, if I am to be honest. I was rather hoping you could fill it. Join us. :'''Frost''': ''[she notices the rest of the Brotherhood]'' Erik, I believe? :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': I prefer... ''Magneto''. ==Taglines== *Witness the moment that will change the world. == Cast == * [[w:James McAvoy|James McAvoy]] &ndash; [[w:Professor X|Charles Xavier]] (24 Years) ** [[w:Laurence Belcher|Laurence Belcher]] &ndash; Charles Xavier (12 Years) * [[w:Michael Fassbender|Michael Fassbender]] &ndash; [[w:Magneto (comics)|Erik Lensherr]] (26 years) ** [[w:Bill Milner|Bill Milner]] &ndash; Erik Lehnsherr (14 years) * [[w:Kevin Bacon|Kevin Bacon]] &ndash; [[w:Sebastian Shaw (comics)|Sebastian Shaw]]/Klaus Schmidt * [[w:Rose Byrne|Rose Byrne]] &ndash; [[w:Moira MacTaggert|Moira MacTaggert]] * [[Jennifer Lawrence]] &ndash; Raven Darkholme/[[w:Mystique (comics)|Mystique]] ** [[w:Morgan Lily|Morgan Lily]] &ndash; Young Raven (10 Years) * [[w:Beth Goddard|Beth Goddard]] &ndash; Mrs. Xavier * [[w:Oliver Platt|Oliver Platt]] &ndash; Man in Black Suit * [[w:Alex González|Alex González]] &ndash; Janos Quested/[[w:Riptide (comics)|Riptide]] * [[w:Jason Flemyng|Jason Flemyng]] &ndash; [[w:Azazel (Marvel Comics)|Azazel]] * [[w:Zoë Kravitz|Zoë Kravitz]] &ndash; [[w:Angel Salvadore|Angel Salvadore]] * [[w:January Jones|January Jones]] &ndash; [[w:Emma Frost|Emma Frost]] * [[w:Nicholas Hoult|Nicholas Hoult]] &ndash; Hank/[[w:Beast (comics)|Beast]] * [[w:Caleb Landry Jones|Caleb Landry Jones]] &ndash; Cassidy/[[w:Banshee (comics)|Banshee]] * [[w:Edi Gathegi|Edi Gathegi]] &ndash; [[w:Darwin (comics)|Darwin]]/Armando Muñoz * [[w:Corey Johnson|Corey Johnson]] &ndash; Chief Warden * [[w:Lucas Till|Lucas Till]] &ndash; Alex Summers/[[w:Havok (comics)|Havok]] * [[w:Demetri Goritsas|Demetri Goritsas]] &ndash; Levene * [[w:Glenn Morshower|Glenn Morshower]] &ndash; Colonel Hendry * [[w:Matt Craven|Matt Craven]] &ndash; CIA Director McCone * [[w:James Remar|James Remar]] &ndash; US General * [[w:Ludger Pistor|Ludger Pistor]] &ndash; 1st German/Pig Farmer * Wilfried Hochholdinger &ndash; 2nd German/Tailor * Greg Kolpakchi &ndash; Russian Soldier No.1 * Andrei Zayats &ndash; Russian Soldier No.2 * [[w:Rade Šerbedžija|Rade Sherbedgia]] &ndash; Russian General == See also == * [[X-Men (film)|X-Men]] * [[X2 (film)|X-Men 2]] * [[X-Men (comics)]] * [[X-Men Origins: Wolverine]] * [[X-Men: The Last Stand|X-Men 3: The Last Stand]] * [[The Wolverine|Wolverine]] * [[X-Men: Days of Future Past]] * [[X-Men: Apocalypse]] * [[Logan (film)|Logan]] * [[Dark Phoenix (film)|X-Men: Dark Phoenix]] * [[The New Mutants]] * [[Deadpool & Wolverine]] ==External links== {{wikipedia}} * {{Official website|http://www.x-menfirstclassmovie.com}} * {{IMDb title|1270798|X-Men: First Class}} * {{Allmovie title|475797|X-Men: First Class}} * {{rotten-tomatoes|xmenfirstclass}} * {{mojo title|xmenfirstclass}} [[Category:2011 films]] [[Category:Action films]] [[Category:Comic book films]] [[Category:Science fiction films]] [[Category:2010s American films]] [[Category:British films]] [[Category:Period films]] [[Category:X-Men films]] [[Category:Films about revenge]] [[Category:Alternate history films]] [[Category:Films about disability]] [[Category:Films about shapeshifting]] [[Category:Films directed by Matthew Vaughn]] 1tofrcqhbenp96jo57ybxcd8t5rzbke 0 130931 3942064 2227646 2026-05-17T14:05:36Z Normantas Bataitis 3082321 made edits due to death 3942064 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Randal Marlin.JPG|thumb|''If war is glorified, it tends to eclipse the policies it is meant to serve''. - Randal Marlin, 2002]] '''[[w:Randal Marlin|Randal Marlin]]''' ([[22 January]] [[1938]] – [[15 May]] [[2026]]) was an American-born Canadian [[philosophy]] professor at Carleton University in Ottawa who specialized in the study of [[propaganda]]. ==Sourced== ===Propaganda & The Ethics Of Persuasion (2002)=== * There are many special interests skilful at manipulating circumstances and communications in such a way as to benefit their own ends and not necessarily the public good. ** Preface, p. 9 * Once we recognize the power of propaganda, we need to ask whether its exercise is consistent with those democratic ideals to which lip-service is commonly accorded. ** Chapter One, Why Study Propaganda?, p. 13 * '''To avoid repeating the mistakes of the past, an alert citizenry today should take the trouble to learn how easy it can be for a powerful minority to manipulate information to win the support-or the indifference-of the majority towards an action.''' ** Chapter One, Why Study Propaganda?, p. 14 * The specific media my change, but the principles of human nature have remained fairly constant over the millenia. ** Chapter One, Why Study Propaganda?, p. 15 * We live in a time when complex ethical questions are easily subordinated to the demands of efficiency, profit maximization, and maintenance or furthering of political power. ** Chapter One, Why Study Propaganda?, p. 39 * When we consider propaganda as the attempt to shape the thoughts and feelings of others, in ways conforming to the aims of the communicator, we find a vast array of different examples throughout history. ** Chapter Two, History Of Propaganda, p. 43 * '''Down to the present day the luminous image of democracy has often served as a pretext for the most undemocratic actions.''' ** Chapter Two, History Of Propaganda, p. 45 * Aristotle writes that persuasion is based on three things: the ''[[w:ethos|ethos]]'', or personal character of the speaker; the ''[[w:pathos|pathos]]'', or getting the audience into the right kind of emotional receptivity; and the ''[[w:logos|logos]]'', or the argument itself, carried out by abbreviated syllogisms, or something like deductive syllogisms, and by the use of example. ** Chapter Two, History Of Propaganda, p. 47 * Small town people assume you are a friend if you simply remember their names. ** Chapter Two, History Of Propaganda, p. 50 * '''If war is glorified, it tends to eclipse the policies it is meant to serve.''' ** Chapter Two, History Of Propaganda, p. 59 * '''Exposure as a propagandist is fatal to the would-be persuader.''' ** Chapter Three, Propaganda Technique, p. 95 * In a general way, a major goal of the propagandist is to seek some kind of authoritative backing for the belief he or she is propagating. ** Chapter Three, Propaganda Technique, p. 99 * There are many other ways in which language can be used to manipulate an audience. one obvious way is to simply lie. ** Chapter Three, Propaganda Technique, p. 107 * Since the time of [[w:Plato|Plato]] and [[w:Aristotle|Aristotle]] philosophers have had an interest in taking note of common [[fallacies]] in reasoning. ** Chapter Three, Propaganda Technique, p. 110 * '''In modern times sound policy-making must often come to grips with numbers.''' ** Chapter Three, Propaganda Technique, p. 118 * If you can show that something is to a person's advantage, they have an attractive reason for doing that thing. ** Chapter Four, Ethics And Propaganda, p. 140 * When you give false information you tend to restrict the freedom of choice to others. ** Chapter Four, Ethics And Propaganda, p. 149 * The liar wants to be believed, but lying undermines the foundation for credibility. ** Chapter Four, Ethics And Propaganda, p. 149 * Party politics in modern democratic society means pandering to a wide variety of different groups and sympathizing with their often quite base motives, such as revenge, power, booty, and spoils, to maintain the necessary level of support. ** Chapter Four, Ethics And Propaganda, p. 155 * There is arguably something wrong with a method of persuasion that cannot pass the test of publicity. ** Chapter Four, Ethics And Propaganda, p. 166 [[File:Agora 0047.jpg|right|thumb|''The specific media my change, but the principles of human nature have remained fairly constant over the millenia.'']] * It is true that advertising often gives information and is valuable for doing so, but some forms of advertising give precious little information, and even that little is wrong. ** Chapter Five, Advertising And Public Relations Ethics, p. 176 * '''The special harm attaching to prior restraint is that the government can keep materials from reaching the public, so there can be no accountability, no judgment by the people that the power to suppress was wrongly exercised.''' ** Chapter Six, Freedom Of Expression, p. 207 * Any restrictions to freedom of expression will always open the door to possible others, because analogical reasoning can mount arguments showing why this or that class of objects is closely similar to those for which exceptions have been made. ** Chapter Six, Freedom Of Expression, p. 230 * Anyone familiar with the marvels of the Worldwide Web can hardly fail to see that we have entered a new era in communications on a scale perhaps comparable to the invention of the Gutenberg press. ** Chapter Eight, Propaganda, Democracy, And the Internet, p. 284 * When we look for propaganda, we have the obvious job of asking what messages are being propagated. ** Chapter Eight, Propaganda, Democracy, And the Internet, p. 302 * Propaganda analysis can contribute to world peace by exposing those techniques that lead to armed conflict by creating misapprehension of reality. ** Chapter Eight, Propaganda, Democracy, And the Internet, p. 305 * '''The best goal for propaganda analysis is to develop such an understanding of the phenomenon that it will no longer be profitable for people to engage in it.''' ** Chapter Eight, Propaganda, Democracy, And the Internet, p. 306 ==External links== {{wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Marlin, Randal}} [[Category:1938 births]] [[Category:2026 deaths]] [[Category:Philosophers]] 0io6jy8z849jz7uz97y5sbfpj76d51v 0 139875 3942216 3934511 2026-05-18T00:03:27Z ~2026-29545-51 3323812 3942216 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} [[File:Wreck-It Ralph Logo.svg|thumb]] '''''[[w:Wreck-It Ralph|Wreck-It Ralph]]''''' is a 2012 American [[w:Computer-animated film|computer-animated]] [[w:Comedy film|comedy film]] about an arcade game villain (voiced by [[w:John C. Reilly|John C. Reilly]]) who rebels against his role and dreams of becoming a hero. He travels throughout cyberspace and ultimately must eliminate a dire threat that could affect it and one that Ralph may have inadvertently started. It was produced by [[w:Walt Disney Animation Studios|Walt Disney Animation Studios]] and released by [[w:Walt Disney Pictures|Walt Disney Pictures]] on November 2, 2012. The sequel ''[[Ralph Breaks the Internet|Wreck-It Ralph 2: Ralph Breaks the Internet]]'' was released on November 21, 2018. :''Directed by [[w:Rich Moore|Rich Moore]]. Written by [[w:Phil Johnston (filmmaker)|Phil Johnston]] and [[w:Jennifer Lee (filmmaker)|Jennifer Lee]]. ==Wreck-It Ralph== [[File:Apartment building - Niš.jpg|thumb|Look, a steady arcade gig is nothing to sneeze at, I'm very lucky. It's just, I gotta say, it becomes kinda hard to love your job when no one seems to like you for doing it.]] *''[first words]'' My name's Ralph, and I'm a bad guy. Uh, let's see, I'm nine feet tall, I weigh 643 pounds, got a little bit of a temper on me. My passion bubbles very near the surface, I guess—not gonna lie. Anywho, what else? Uh, I'm a wrecker. I wreck things, professionally. I mean, I'm very good at what I do. Probably the best I know. The thing is, fixing is the name of the game. Literally. ''Fix-It Felix Jr.'' So yeah, naturally, the guy with the name Fix-It Felix is the good guy. He's nice enough as good guys go. Definitely fixes stuff really well. But, uh, if you got a magic hammer from your father, how hard can it be? If he was a regular contractor, carpenter guy, I guarantee you, he would not be able to fix the damage that I do as quickly. When Felix does a good job, he gets a medal. But are there medals for wrecking stuff really well? To that, I say, "Ha!". And no, there aren't. 30 years, I've been doing this, and I have seen a lot of other games come and go. Kinda sad. Think about those guys at ''[[w:Asteroids (video game)|Asteroids]]''? Boom, gone. ''[[w:Centipede (video game)|Centipede]]''? Who knows where that guy is, you know? Look, a steady arcade gig is nothing to sneeze at, I'm very lucky. It's just, I gotta say, it becomes kinda hard to love your job when no one seems to like you for doing it. *''[repeated line]'' I'M GONNA WRECK IT! *I'm bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be&ndash; than me. *''[last words]'' The best part of my day, is when the Nicelanders throw me off the roof. Because when they lift me up, I get a perfect view of ''Sugar Rush'', and I can watch Vanellope racing. The kid's a natural, and the players love her, glitches and all, just like I knew they would. That's when I realize: I don't need a medal to tell me I'm a good guy. Because if that kid likes me, how bad can I be? ==Dialogue== :'''Saitine''': Well, happy anniversary, Ralph. :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Thanks, Satan. :'''Saitine''': Uh, it's Saitine, actually. :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Got it. But here's the thing. ''[sighs deeply]'' I don't wanna be the bad guy anymore. :''[the Bad-Anon members gasp; [[w:Bowser (character)|Bowser]] breathes fire balls; [[w:Ghosts (Pac-Man)|Clyde]] turns blue]'' :'''Kano''': You can't mess with the program, Ralph. :'''M. Bison''': You're not going Turbo, are you? :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Turbo?! No, I'm not going Turbo! Come on, guys! Is it "Turbo" to want a friend? Or a medal? Or a piece of pie every once in a while? Is it "Turbo" to want more out of life? :'''Zombie''': Yes. :'''Clyde''': Ralph, Ralph, we get it. But we can't change who we are. And the sooner you accept that, the better off your game and your life will be. :'''Zangief''': Hey, one game at a time, Ralph. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Ralph and Gene are arguing during Felix's 30th anniversary]'' :'''Felix''': How about we just eat the cake? :'''Gene''': Hang on. Felix needs to be on the roof because he's about to get his medal! :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Well, then, how about we just take that medal and give it to Ralph for once? Would that be the end of the world, Gene? :'''Gene''': Now you're just being ridiculous. Only good guys win medals, and you, sir, are no good guy. :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': I could be a good guy if I wanted to and I could win a medal! :'''Gene''': Uh-huh. And when you do, come and talk to us. :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': ''And then would you finally let me be on top of the cake with you guys?!'' :'''Gene''': If you won a medal, we'd let you live up here in the penthouse! But it will never happen, because '''you're just ''the bad guy'' who wrecks the building'''! :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': No, I'm not. :'''Gene''': Yes, you are! :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': No, '''''I'M NOT!!!!''' [Ralph angrily smashes the cake and everyone gasps]'' :'''Gene''': Yes, you are. :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Alright, Gene. You know what? I'm gonna win a medal. Oh, I am gonna win a medal! The shiniest medal this place has ever seen! A medal that will be so good that it will make Felix's medals...WET THEIR PANTS!! And good night! Thank you for the party. ''[Ralph exits]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Ralph''': ''[looking into the lost and found crate]'' Okay, let's see what we got here. ''[a [[w:WALL-E|cockroach]] lands on his hand]'' Shoo! Shoo! Go on, get out of here. ''[flicks it off, finds a Super Mushroom]'' Mushroom? No. ''[puts it back, finds a [[w:Metal Gear Solid (1998 video game)|Metal Gear Solid]] exclamation point]'' What is this? No. ''[he tosses it, and finds Zangief's underwear]'' Oh, come on, Zangief. Gross. ''[he drops it back in]'' What am I doing? :''[a heavily armored space marine, Markowski, bumps past Ralph]'' :'''Ralph''': Hey, excuse you! :''[Markowski staggers on and right into the wall again and again, in a walk cycle.]'' :'''Markowski''': ''[mumbling, shell-shocked]'' We are humanity's last hope. Our mission? Destroy all Cy-Bugs. We are humanity's last hope. :'''Ralph''': ''[stands and looks at him, curious]'' Uh... You okay there, space cadet? :''[Markowski whips around quickly and grabs Ralph by the collar.]'' :'''Markowski''': ''[traumatized]'' We've only been plugged in a week, and every day it's "Climb the building, then fight bugs. Climb the building, fight more bugs!" :'''Ralph''': Yeah, yeah. Right. Look. Easy on the overalls, spaceman. It's tough all over, all right? :'''Markowski''': And all for what, a lousy medal? :'''Ralph''': ''[realizes]'' Medal? You win a medal? :'''Markowski''': Yeah, Medal of Heroes. :'''Ralph''': Ooh. Is it shiny? :'''Markowski''': Eh... Pretty shiny. :'''Ralph''': Ooh! And it says "hero" on it? :'''Markowski''': Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. :'''Ralph''': And you say you win it by climbing a building? :'''Markowski''': AND FIGHTING BUGS! :'''Ralph''': Right, bugs. Listen, is there any chance I could go with you to your game and, you know, maybe get one of those medals? :'''Markowski''': Negatory! :'''Ralph''': Does that mean "maybe"? :'''Markowski''': NO! Look, only the bravest and the best serve in our corps. ''[sees a cockroach who climbs on Ralph's shoulder] '''''BUG!!!''''' [emits a high-pitched scream and runs straight into the wall, knocking himself out]'' :''[Ralph sees the helmet rolling to him in front, then smiles as he flicks the cockroach off his shoulder] <hr width="50%"/> :''[The Moppet Girl is trying to play Fix-It Felix Jr., but something is wrong with it.]'' :'''Moppet Girl''': Mr. Litwak! :'''Litwak''': What's the trouble, sweetheart? :'''Moppet Girl''': The game's busted. :''[Litwak takes a look at the game. He sees the Nicelanders running around and panicking on screen while Felix tries calming them down.]'' :'''Litwak''': Oh, boy. Looks like the game's gone cuckoo, like my nana. Sorry, sweetie. Here's your quarterback. :'''Moppet Girl''': But what about the game? :'''Litwak''': I'll have someone look at it tomorrow, but if he can't fix it, it might be time to put old Ralph and Felix out to pasture. Like my nana. :'''Gene''': Ladies and gentlemen, we're out of order. :'''Mary''': Sweet mercy! Without Ralph, we're doomed! <hr width="50%"/> :''[Ralph has just scared away the Sugar Rush racers who were tearing apart Vanellope's pedal kart; she gets up off the ground, sniffling]'' :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': What are ''you'' looking at? :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': ''You're welcome'', you rotten little thief. :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': I'm not a thief. I just borrowed your stupid coin. I was gonna give it back to you as soon as I won the race! :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': It's not a coin! It's a medal! :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': Coin, medal, whatever! Just go back to your own dumb game and win another one. :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': I can't. I didn't win it in my game. I won it in ''Hero's Duty''. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': Look, you want that medal, right? And I wanna race. So, here's what I'm thinkin': You help me get a new kart—a ''real'' kart—and I'll win the race and get you back your medal! :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': You want ''me'' to help ''you''? :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': All you gotta do is break something for me. C'mon, what do you say, friend? ''[extends her hand]'' :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': We are ''not'' friends. :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': Aw, c'mon, pal! You son-of-a-gun! C'mon, buddy! Shake on it! C'mon, chumbo! Ralph, my man! M' main man! ''[seriously]'' Hey. My arm's getting tired. Do we have a deal or not? :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': ''[groans; defeatedly]'' You better win. ''[shakes Vanellope's hand]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''King Candy''': ''[arrives in his car]'' Hello! :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': '''YOU!!''' :'''King Candy''': ''[desperately trying to placate Wreck-It-Ralph]'' Now, now, I come alone, unarmed. :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': ''[angry and hurling a jawbreaker at King Candy]'' [[w:Robots (2005 film)|I've had ENOUGH of you, ''pillowpants!'']] :'''King Candy''': ''[dodging the jawbreaker and begging for mercy]'' ''Please'', calm down, ''please'', just.. look.. :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': ''[lividly]'' '''I'M GONNA BEAT THE ''FILLING'' OUTTA YOU!!!''' :'''King Candy''': AHHH!! ''[immediately dons a pair of glasses]'' You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you? ''[Ralph yanks the glasses off and breaks them over Candy's head]'' AHHH! You hit a guy ''with'' glasses. That's... that's... well-played. ''[Wreck-It Ralph GRABS King Candy by his lapels]'' AAAHHH!! :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': ''[threateningly]'' What do you want, Candy?! :'''King Candy''': Listen...I..I...just want to talk to you. :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': I'm not interested in ''anything'' you have to say. :'''King Candy''': Well, how about this...are you interested... ''[produces Hero's Duty medal]'' in ''this?'' :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': ''[surprised]'' My ''medal?!''...How did you...? :'''King Candy''': It doesn't matter. It's ''yours!'' Go ahead, take it. ''[Wreck-It-Ralph takes the medal]'' All I ask is that you hear me out. :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': ''[becoming skeptical]'' About what? :''King Candy''': Ralph, do you know what the hardest part about being a king is? Doing what's right, no matter what. :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Get to the point. :'''King Candy''': Point being, I need your help. Sad as it is, Vanellope...''cannot'' be allowed to race. :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': ''[outraged]'' ''WHY'' ARE YOU PEOPLE SO ''AGAINST'' HER?!?! :'''King Candy''': I'm ''not'' against her!! I'm just trying to ''protect'' her. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': I'm back! Did you miss me? :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Yeah. Uh... Hey, can we talk for a second? :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': Wait. First, kneel down. :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': What? No, we really... :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': Will you just do it? :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Okay. :''[He kneels down]'' :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': Now, close your eyes. :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Vanellope... :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': Shush! Close them! ''[He shuts them. She ties something around his neck]'' :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': Okay. Open them up. :''[He looks down and sees a small, handmade candy heart on a string, on which is hand-painted the words: "To Stinkbrain."]'' :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': "To Stinkbrain." Gee, thanks. :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': Turn it over. :''[He does. On the back is painted the words: "You're my Hero."]'' :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': I made it for you. Just in case we don't win. Not that I think there's even a remote chance we're not going to win. :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Thanks, kid. Listen... :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': Now rise, my royal chump. I've got a date with destiny. ''[Ralph doesn't move]'' Ralph, come on. Move your molasses. :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Um... I've been thinking. :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': That's dangerous. :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Who cares about this stupid race anyway? Right? :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': ''[laughs]'' That's not funny, Ralph. :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': No, I'm serious, and it was really fun to build the car and everything. But maybe you shouldn't do it. :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': Hello? Is Ralph in there? I'd like to speak to him, please. :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Look, what I'm saying is you can't be a racer. :''[That gets her attention]'' :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': What? Why would you... ''[Her eyes go down to his chest and she sees something]'' Wait a minute. ''[She pulls the Medal of Heroes out of Ralph's pocket]'' :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': No! ''(Stop!)'' :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': Where did you get this? :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Look, I'm going to be straight with you, kid. I've been talking to King Candy. :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': King Candy?! :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Yeah. :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': You sold me out? :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': No, I didn't... Listen, you don't understand! :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': No, I understand plenty, traitor!? ''[She throws the medal at him, which hits him in the face and falls to the ground. She jumps back in the kart]'' :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': I'm not a traitor. Listen-- :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': You're a <span style="color:red">'''RAT!!!!'''</span style="color:red"> <span style="color:green">And I don't need you, and I can win the race on my own.</span style="color:green"> :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': But I'm trying to save your skin, kid! ''[Ralph grabs and picks her up out of the kart. She glitches furiously]'' :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': Put me down! Let me ''go, (right now!?)'' :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': No! You listen to me! ''[He sets her down. She immediately makes a dash for the kart. Ralph blocks her way. She struggles to get around him]'' Do you know what's gonna happen when the players see you glitchin', they're gonna think the game's broken. :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': I don't care! You're a liar! :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': No, you better care, because if your game goes out of order... :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': I'm not listening to you! :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': ...you goes down with the shipped, little sister! :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': GET OUTTA MY WAY!! I'm going to that race! :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': No, you're not! ''[He grabs her hood]'' :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': Aah! ''[grunts, Ralph hangs Vanellope by her hood on the edge of a lollipop tree]'' Take me down from here, Ralph, '''''RIGHT…''''' :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': '''''NO!!!!!!''''' :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': '''''…NOW!!!''''' :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': '''''[[The Lion King 1½|I'M DOING THIS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!?]]''''' ''[He goes over to the kart and clenches his fists. She struggles to get free, but can't]'' :'''Vanellope von Schweetz''': Wait, wait, wait. No. No. No, no, no, no! Please, Ralph! ''[But he doesn't stop and smashes his fists onto the kart; screams in shock]'' '''''NOOOOO!! RALPH, STOP IT! STOP IT! NOOOOO!!''''' ''[Ralph destroys the kart. She breaks down sobbing, then she glitches and lands on her knees on the ground. Ralph turns to her, heartbroken]'' You really are a bad guy. ''[She runs away crying into the mountain entrance. Ralph hangs his head. He sighs, then walks over and picks up his medal and leaves Sugar Rush.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Ralph arrives home late at Fix-It Felix Jr. is out of order after destroying the kart and breaks Vanellope's heart. He enters the penthouse, which is empty.]'' :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Hello? Anybody home? Felix? Mary? :'''Gene''': ''[as he's pouring his martini at the bar]'' Well. You actually went and did it. :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Gene. Where is everybody? :'''Gene''': They're gone. After Felix went to find you, and then didn't come back, everyone panicked and abandoned ship. ''[places an olive on a toothpick into his martini]'' :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': But... But I'm here now. :'''Gene''': It's too late, Ralph. Litwak's pulling our plug in the morning. ''[Starts drinking his martini. Ralph heads to the balcony and opens the door. He gasps at the paper saying "OUT OF ORDER" hung over the game console.]'' :'''Gene''': But, never let it be said I’m not a man of my word. The place is yours, Ralph. Enjoy. ''[tosses the key to Ralph, grabs the suitcase and heads for the door]'' :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Gene, wait. ''[Gene stops walking]'' Listen, this is not what I wanted! :'''Gene''': ''[turns to Ralph]'' Well, what ''did'' you want, Ralph? :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': I don't know, I just... I was just tired of living alone in the garbage. :'''Gene''': Well, ''now'' you can live alone ''in the penthouse.'' ''[leaves; Ralph drops the key to the penthouse and heads for the balcony. He sees the "OUT OF ORDER" paper, then he pulls the Hero's Duty medal he had around his neck. He tearfully throws it at the screen which hears a distant smack. The paper moves a little bit, but Ralph sees what was revealed from the view; Vanellope von Schweetz on the side of the game console. His sadness turns to surprise when he catches sight of this and then suddenly, realizing he's been played, gets an idea.]'' :''[Sour Bill is cleaning up the broken Candy Kart remains while he hums. Just then, Ralph returns to Sugar Rush and walks up to him.]'' :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': ''[to Sour Bill]'' Hey, Cough Drop!! :'''Sour Bill''': ''[stops humming and looks at Ralph]'' Huh? :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Explain something to me: If Vanellope was never meant to exist, then why is her picture on the side of the game console? :'''Sour Bill''': Uh... ''[frantically tries to running away, but Ralph grabs him]'' :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': ''[threateningly]'' What's going on in this candy-coated heart of darkness? :'''Sour Bill''': Nothin'. :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': TALK!!! :'''Sour Bill''': No! :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': '''I'll lick you!''' :'''Sour Bill''': You wouldn't! :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Oh, yeah?! ''[licks Sour Bill]'' :'''Sour Bill''': Ugh! It's like sandpaper! :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Mmm, ''(You look like a small jawbreaker,)'' I wonder how many licks it'll take to get to your center. :'''Sour Bill''': I'll take it to my grave! :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Fair enough. ''[tosses Sour Bill into his mouth]'' Oh, they call you "Sour Bill" for a reason! ''[Sour Bill let's out a muffled screamed; Ralph takes him out]'' Had enough yet? :'''Sour Bill''': Okay, I'll talk, I'll talk! Vanellope ''was'' a racer until King Candy tried to delete her code! :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': "Tried to delete her code"?! So that's why she's a glitch!! Why is he doing this to her?! :'''Sour Bill''': I don't know! :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Suit yourself. ''[starts to put Sour Bill back in his mouth]'' :'''Sour Bill''': No, no, no, no, no, no!!! I swear, I don't know! He literally locked up our memories and I cannot remember! ''Nobody'' can!! But I do know this: he'll do anything to keep her from racing. Because if she crosses the finish line, the game will reset, and she won't be a glitch anymore! :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Where is she now?! :'''Sour Bill''': In the Fungeon with Fix-It Felix. :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': '''FELIX?!''' :'''Sour Bill''': I'm sorry! That's all I know, that's all I know, I swear! Now please, don't put me back in your filthy mouth again! (sobs as Ralph sticks him to a lollipop tree) :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Stick around. :'''Sour Bill''': Yes, okay. I will, I will. Thank you. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Fix-It Felix Jr.''': Hello?! Hello?! Somebody, anybody. Please, let me out! ''[shakes the bar, loosening it]'' Oh. What's he say, what's he say? ''[pulls out his golden hammer, in Ralph's voice]'' ''"I'm gonna wreck it!"'' ''[pounds it on the bar, but it makes them thicker and stronger]'' Oh. Why do I fix everything I '''touch?!''' ''[sits down, sobbing]'' :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': BAM!!! ''[bursts through the wall of Felix's jail cell]'' Felix! :'''Fix-It Felix Jr.''': Ralph! ''[jumps up; hugs Ralph]'' I'm so glad to see you! ''[lets him go]'' Wait. No, I'm not! What do you have to say for yourself? :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': I— :'''Fix-It Felix Jr.''': Wait! I don't want to hear it. I'm '''''NOT''''' talking to you. :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Okay. Don't talk. That's fine. ''[dumps out a can full of the broken Candy Kart]'' But you have to fix this go-kart for me, pronto. :'''Fix-It Felix Jr.''': I don't have to do boo! Forgive my potty mouth. I'm just so, so cross with you! Do you have any idea what you've put me through?! I ran higgledy-piggledy all over creation looking for you. I almost drowned in chocolate milk mix! And then, I met the most dynamite gal. Oh. She gives me the honey glow something awful. But she rebuffed my affections. And then, '''''I GOT THROWN IN JAIL!!''''' :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Felix, pull yourself together. :'''Fix-It Felix Jr.''': '''''NO'''''! Ralph, you don't know what it's like to be rejected and treated like a criminal! ''[turns away]'' :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Yes, I do. That's every day of my life. :'''Fix-It Felix Jr.''': It is? :'''Wreck-It Ralph''': Which is why I ran off and tried to be a good guy, but I'm not! I'm just a bad guy, and I need your help. There's a little girl whose only hope is this kart. Please, Felix, fix it! And I promise, I will never try to be good again. ''[Felix smiles and pulls out his golden hammer]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Felix''': Is that...? :''[Vanellope's glitching causes King Candy to start glitching himself, which in turn reveals King Candy's true form: Turbo]'' :'''Ralph''': ''(shocked)'' No way! :'''Vanellope''': What the-?! Who are you?! :'''Turbo''': I'm Turbo, the greatest racer ever! AND I DID ''NOT'' REPROGRAM THIS WORLD TO LET YOU AND THAT HALITOSIS RIDDLED WARTHOG '''''TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME!!!''''' Turbo-tastic! ''[laughs evilly]'' End of the line, glitch! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Vanellope''': It's okay, Ralph. :'''Calhoun''': Alright, Fix-It. That's everyone, now we gotta blow up this exit. :'''Vanellope''': Just go. Go without me. :'''Felix''': But what about this game? :'''Calhoun''': Nothing we can do about it. Without a beacon, there's no way to stop these monsters. :'''Ralph''': ''(realizes and looks toward Diet Cola Mountain)'' Beacon. Stay with Felix! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Turbo''': ''(laughs maniacally as he reveals himself to be merged with a Cy-bug)'' Because of you, Ralph, I'm now the most powerful virus in the arcade! I can take over any game I want. I should thank you, but it'd be more fun to kill you. ''[[Turbo charges at him, but Ralph rolls past him]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Turbo''': Oh, look at that, it's your little friend! ''[he grabs Ralph and pulls his head back to force him to watch]'' Let’s watch her die together, shall we? :'''Ralph''': No! ''[Ralph looks down at Vanellope, then looks to his goal, the volcano now far enough below him to slam down all the Mentos]'' :'''Turbo''': It's game over for both of you. :'''Ralph''': ''(determined)'' No. Just for me! ''[he breaks free from Turbo's grasp and free falls; he extends his fist downward to the Mentos, but he is unable to keep steady, knowing the cola will kill him.]'' :'''Ralph''': ''(reciting the Bad-Anon affirmation)'' I'm bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. ''[Vanellope's medal slips out of his shirt. He grabs onto it and hugs it to his chest]'' There's no one I'd rather be than me. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Everyone in Sugar Rush gasps in surprise that they now remember again]'' :'''Sour Bill''': Now I remember. ''[walks up beside Vanellope]'' All hail the rightful ruler of Sugar Rush: Princess Vanellope. ''[The racers gasp; Swizzle Malarkey kneels down]'' :'''Taffyta Muttonfudge''': I remember. She's our princess. :'''Candlehead''': Oh, that's right! :'''Taffyta''': We are so sorry about the way we treated you. :'''Rancis Fluggerbutter''': Yeah, those were... jokes! :'''Candlehead''': ''[whining]'' I was just doing what Taffyta told me to do! :'''Vanellope''': Tut tut. As your merciful princess, I hereby decree that everyone who was ever mean to me shall be... ''[the other racers look on with hopeful anticipation]'' ...executed. :'''The Racers''': WHAT?!? ''[They all start to burst into tears]'' :'''Taffyta Muttonfudge''': No, no, no, please! Please! :'''Fix-It Felix Jr.''': Oh my land! :'''Calhoun''': Oh, this place just got interesting. :''[The racers, with the exception of Swizzle, drop down to their knees while crying]'' :'''Candlehead''': NO! ''[drops down to her knees and sobs louder]'' :'''Taffyta''': ''[drops down to her knees sobbing, tearfully pleading for forgiveness]'' I don't wanna die! :'''Vanellope''': I'm just kidding! :'''Taffyta''': You are? :'''Vanellope''': Stop crying, Taffyta. :'''Taffyta''': ''[hyperventilates as her mascara starts running]'' I'm trying, but it won't stop. ''[sobs softly for a second and stops crying]'' ==[[w:Wreck-It Ralph#Soundtrack|Soundtrack]]== *He was minding his own business on the day they came<br>They showed a piece of paper saying "eminent domain"<br>They built an apartment building saying progress was to blame<br>So he got mad<br>And he turned bad<br>Brick by brick he's gonna take his land back **"Wreck-It, Wreck-It Ralph" by [[w:Buckner & Garcia|Buckner & Garcia]] ==Cast== * [[John C. Reilly]] as Wreck-It Ralph * [[Sarah Silverman]] as Vanellope von Schweetz * [[w:Jack McBrayer|Jack McBrayer]] as Fix-It Felix Jr. * [[w:Jane Lynch|Jane Lynch]] as Sergeant Calhoun * [[w:Alan Tudyk|Alan Tudyk]] as King Candy/Turbo * [[w:Mindy Kaling|Mindy Kaling]] as Taffyta Muttonfudge * [[w:Joe Lo Truglio|Joe lo Truglio]] as Markowski * [[w:Ed O'Neill|Ed O'Neill]] as Mr. Litwak * [[w:Dennis Haysbert|Dennis Haybert]] as General Hologram * [[w:Rich Moore|Rich Moore]] as Sour Bill * [[w:Phil Johnston (filmmaker)|Phil Johnston]] as the Surge Protector ==External links== {{wikipedia}} *{{Official website|http://movies.disney.com/wreck-it-ralph}} *{{imdb title|id=1772341|title=Wreck-It Ralph}} {{Authority control}} [[Category:2012 computer-animated films]] [[Category:2012 American animated films]] [[Category:American computer-animated films]] [[Category:American children's animated comic science fiction films]] [[Category:American children's animated science fantasy films]] [[Category:American children's animated adventure films]] [[Category:Films directed by Rich Moore]] [[Category:The Walt Disney Company]] [[Category:Animated films about parallel universes]] [[Category:Films about simulated reality]] [[Category:Animated buddy films]] [[Category:American 3D animated films]] [[Category:Films about artificial intelligence]] [[Category:Films about computing]] [[Category:Films about video games]] l68xit9slhvlh0rt9qoa52dg2x5enix 0 141491 3942146 3753493 2026-05-17T19:43:10Z Coningsby 10755 /* 1930s */ + 3942146 wikitext text/x-wiki [[Image:Ramsay MacDonald ggbain.29588.jpg|thumb|Ramsay MacDonald]] '''[[w:Ramsay MacDonald|Ramsay MacDonald]]''' ([[12 October]] [[1866]] – [[9 November]] [[1937]]) was a British statesman who was the first ever Labour Prime Minister of the [[United Kingdom]], leading a Labour Government in 1924, a Labour Government from 1929 to 1931, and a National Government from 1931 to 1935. ==Quotes== * The [[Hindu]] from his traditions and religion regards [[India]] not only as a political unit naturally the subject of one sovereignty, but as the outward embodiment, as the temple - nay even as the Goddess Mother of his spiritual culture.... India and [[Hinduism]] are organically related as body and soul. **Introduction to the "The Fundamental Unity ofIndia: ; Patel, Satyavrata Ramdas The so1l1 ofIndia New Delhi: Munshiram Manoharlal Publishers, 1974, c1973 p.208., as quoted in Londhe, S. (2008). [https://books.google.com/books/about/A_Tribute_to_Hinduism.html?id=G3AMAQAAMAAJ A tribute to Hinduism: Thoughts and wisdom spanning continents and time about India and her culture] ===1880s=== *I cannot refrain from wishing you God-Speed in your election contest... [L]et the consequences be what they may, do not withdraw. The cause of Labour in [[Scotland]] and of Scottish Nationality will suffer much thereby. Your defeat will awaken Scotland and your victory will re-construct Scottish Liberalism. All success be yours, and the National cause you champion. There is no miner – and no other one for that matter – who is a Scotsman and not ashamed of it, who will vote against you in favour of an [[English people|English]] barrister, absolutely ignorant of Scotland and of Scottish affairs. **Letter to [[Keir Hardie]], who stood as an independent candidate in the [[w:1888 Mid Lanarkshire by-election|Mid Lanarkshire by-election]] on a platform of independent labour representation and Scottish Home Rule (''c''. April 1888), quoted in Michael Keating and David Bleiman, ''Labour and Scottish Nationalism'' (1979), p. 51 ===1890s=== *The Labour party is no class champion. In politics it is frankly [[Democracy|democratic]], in economics it is [[w:Co-operative economics|co-operative]]... It was not bought into being to revenge the wage-earner and mercilessly smash the capitalist... [[Capitalist class|Capitalist]] and [[labourer]] alike feel that some new order must evolve if England is to exist. **''The New Charter: A Programme for Working Class Politics'' (1892), quoted in Pat Thane, ‘Labour and local politics: radicalism, democracy and social reform, 1880–1914’, in Eugenio F. Biagini and Alastair J. Reid (eds.), ''Currents of Radicalism: Popular Radicalism, Organised Labour and Party Politics in Britain, 1850–1914'' (1991), p. 262 *There is too much expected of [[Parliament of the United Kingdom|parliament]]. Localities should manage their own affairs and unions of localities should be formed when necessary to look after common interests. Our [[w:County council|county councils]] are excellent beginnings in this direction. **''The New Charter: A Programme for Working Class Politics'' (1892), quoted in Pat Thane, ‘Labour and local politics: radicalism, democracy and social reform, 1880–1914’, in Eugenio F. Biagini and Alastair J. Reid (eds.), ''Currents of Radicalism: Popular Radicalism, Organised Labour and Party Politics in Britain, 1850–1914'' (1991), p. 262 *Our loss of belief in the [[w:Liberal Party (UK)|Liberal party]] is therefore owing to the fact that its day of historical fitness has passed away. The new problems of progress will demand treatment by men of different outlook, of a different political principle, of a different mental quality, of a new species of democratic sympathy. The mass of the Liberal party will no doubt continue progressive, but their organisation is not now the sole custodian of the progressive cause... The [[w:Independent Labour Party|Independent Labour party]] is in the true line of the progressive apostolic succession. It alone is able to interpret the spirit of the time. **'The Independent Labour Party's Programme' (co-authored with [[Keir Hardie]]), ''The Nineteenth Century: A Monthly Review'', vol. xlv (January 1899), pp. 24-25 *The end we have to strive for is complete democratic liberty in politics and complete freedom in industry from the tyranny of monopoly and the vagaries of capitalism. Or, employing words appropriate to the spirit of Socialism, we should say that the task of the practical democratic reformer is now to show how the work of democratic liberty, begun so well by the early Radicals but dropped by their modern representatives, is to be completed; how the golden bridge of palliatives between political and social democracy is to be built; and how the foundations of social democracy are to be laid. **'The Independent Labour Party's Programme' (co-authored with Keir Hardie), ''The Nineteenth Century: A Monthly Review'', vol. xlv (January 1899), p. 27 ===1900s=== *[[John D. Rockefeller|Mr. Rockefeller]] not only owns the [[w:Standard Oil|Standard Oil]] supplies: he controls the [[Rail transport|railways]], the [[Banking|banks]], the [[Shopping|shops]]...upon which his [[w:Trust (business)|Trust]] depends. The Steel Corporation not only makes steel; it owns coal and iron fields, ore steamers, the Erie and Pittsburgh mineral railway, as well as the operatives in Homestead. We oppose the Trust, not as an organisation, but because it is controlled by individuals for their own ends...But the Trust points out the line of British advance. In this country, however, the introduction of the Trust should be marked by public ownership. **''The Zollverein and British Industry'' (1903), pp. 159-160 *Factory Laws, Fair Wages resolutions, Trade Unionism itself, are...all Protection – not the Protection of [[w:Henry Chaplin, 1st Viscount Chaplin|Mr. Chaplin]], the landlord, nor of [[Joseph Chamberlain|Mr. Chamberlain]], the demagogue, but the Protection of the Socialist. **''The Zollverein and British Industry'' (1903), p. 164 *[<nowiki/>[[Trade unions]] should identify] with something higher and wider than trade union industrial demands. It must set these demands into a system of national well-being; the wage earner must become the citizen: the union must become the guardian of economic justice. **'The new Labour movement', ''New Liberal Review'' (September 1903), quoted in Duncan Tanner, ‘Ideological debate in Edwardian labour politics: radicalism, Revisionism and socialism’, in Eugenio F. Biagini and Alastair J. Reid (eds.), ''Currents of Radicalism: Popular Radicalism, Organised Labour and Party Politics in Britain, 1850–1914'' (1991), p. 278 *Lower forms merge into higher forms, one species with another, the vegetable into the animal kingdom; in human history one epoch slides into another...[[Socialism]], the stage which follows [[Liberalism]], retains everything of value in Liberalism by virtue of its being the hereditary heir of Liberalism. **''Socialism and Society'' (1905), pp. 164-165 *[W]e shall begin the exploitation of national resources like [[Mining|mines]]; or we shall begin the process of industrial reconstruction by agrarian policies which will bring the towns into contact with the country, re-populate the deserted villages, and re-till the waste fields. **''Socialism and Society'' (1905), p. 180 [[Image:(James) Ramsay MacDonald by Solomon Joseph Solomon.jpg|thumb|Lower forms merge into higher forms, one species with another, the vegetable into the animal kingdom; in human history one epoch slides into another...[[Socialism]], the stage which follows [[Liberalism]], retains everything of value in Liberalism by virtue of its being the hereditary heir of Liberalism.]] *He had been across the veldt, he had seen [[Second Boer War|the battlefields]], the still open trenches, and it all came to [[Chinese people|Chinese]] labour. They were told it was going to release the [[Slavery|slaves]], the [[w:Uitlander|Uitlander]]s, to open up [[South Africa]] to a great flood of [[White people|white]] emigrants. They were told it was going to plant the [[Flag of the United Kingdom|Union Jack]] upon the land of the free. But the echoes of the muskets had hardly died out on the battlefields, the ink on the treaty was hardly dry, before the men who plotted the war began to plot to bring in Chinese slaves. (Cheers.) They could talk about their gold; their gold is tainted. (Hear, hear.) They could talk about employing white men; it was not true, and even if it were true, was he going to stand and see his white brothers degraded to the position of yellow slave drivers? No, he was not. (Loud and continued cheers.) These patriots! These miserable patriots! If they had had the custodianship of the opinions of the country 75 years ago, slavery in [[British Empire|the colonies]] would have continued. When [[American Civil War|the north was fighting the south for the liberty of men]], these men would have counted their guineas, would have told them how many white men had plied the lash in the [[Confederate States of America|southern states]], and they would have said that for miserable cash, miserable trash, the great name of the country required to be bought and sold. Thank God there were no twentieth century [[Conservative Party (UK)|Unionist]] [[Imperialism|imperialists]] in office then. (Loud cheers.) **''Leicester Daily Mercury'' (6 January 1906) *The books that influenced me most were [[w:Hugh Miller|Hugh Miller]]'s, particularly his "Schools and Schoolmasters." Also the "[[w:Waverley novels|Waverley Novels]]," in conjunction with Scottish History, opened out the great world of national life for and led me on to politics. But Hugh Miller had more influence upon me than any other. **Contribution to 'Character Sketches. I—The Labour Party And The Books That Helped To Make It', ''The Review of Reviews'', Vol. XXXIII (June 1906), p. 577 *The England of 1844 did not break out into revolt; [[w:Chartism|Chartism]] did not develop into socialism... The [[Class conflict|class war]] created trade unionism; the working classes became [[Citizenship|citizens]]; [[law]], [[morality]], the force of combination, lifted to some extent the pall of darkness which hung over the land. The [[Marxism|Marxian]] today still wonders why England fell from grace. Neither [[Karl Marx|Marx]] nor [[Friedrich Engels|Engels]] saw deep enough to discover the possibilities of peaceful advance which lay hidden beneath the surface. Their analogies misled them. **''Socialism and Society'' (1907), pp. 108-109 *[A]ny idea which assumes that the interests of the proletariat are so simply opposed to those of the bourgeoisie as to make the proletariat feel a oneness of economic interest is purely formal and artificial... [T]o-day there is still a goodly number of workmen who cross the line and become employers or employing managers, whilst the great thrift movements, the Friendly Societies, the Building Societies, the Co-operative Societies, connect working class interests to the existing state of things. In addition, there are considerable classes of workers in the community whose immediate interests are bound up with the present distribution of wealth, and who, obedient to class interests, would range themselves on the side of the ''status quo''. Of course (it could be said that) they are making a mistake from the point of view of their own interests, and that if they were properly enlightened they would see that they belong to an exploited class, one and indivisible. That may be true, but a mode of action which is ineffective until men are "fully enlightened" is a chimera. **''Socialism and Society'' (1907), pp. 112-113 *The idea that a lax administration of the [[w:Poor_Law|Poor Law]] is Socialistic, that putting an unemployed man on a farm for six weeks at the public expense is Socialistic, that feeding school children is the beginning of the Socialistic State, is absurd. We can deal with our unemployed, our sweated workers, our derelicts, only by attacking the causes of [[unemployment]], of sweating, of human deterioration and though at a crisis our [[humanitarianism]] will compel us to resort to palliatives and give temporary relief, our action at such times should not be a willing and proud thing but one which is hesitating and temporary. **''Socialism'' (1907), pp. 119-120 *The voting strengths of the movement will come from the ranks of labour – the organised intelligent workers – the men who have had municipal and trade union experience – the men of self-respect who know the capacity of the people... They are to be the constructive agents of the next stage in our industrial evolution. But they are not to stand alone. Socialism is no class movement. Socialism is a movement of opinion, not an organization of status. It is not the rule of the working class; it is the organization of the community. Therefore, to my mind one of the most significant facts of the times is the conversion of the intellectual middle class to Socialism. **''Socialism'' (1907), pp. 122-123 *Even if every person in the country had the ideal virtues that the working classes were asked by certain rather thin skinned and somewhat stilted critics of theirs to possess, and the capacity to turn his attention to every skilled trade in the country, and the very finest technical skill at his command, so long as they had the present system of industrial anarchy, when demand was never gauged by those controlling supply, when overproduction was a feature of one series of years and under-consumption a feature of another, they would have to face the unemployed problem. If that were so, it became a matter for the State to settle. The time had come to banish for ever from their thoughts the old-fashioned heresy that unemployment was merely the expression of individual shortcomings. Unemployment was the expression of the failure of social organisation, and so it became the duty of the State to protect the unemployed men from the awful horrors that attended unemployment. **[http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1908/jan/30/kings-speech-motion-for-an-address#column_248 Speech] in the House of Commons (30 January 1908) *Of the Budget as a whole, I say "Bravo". I am going to support it through thick and thin. **On [[David Lloyd George|Lloyd George]]'s [[w:People's Budget|People's Budget]], quoted in 'From Green Benches', ''Leicester Pioneer'' (8 May 1909) *State Charity is not socialism but may become the greatest menace the Socialist Movement [has been] threatened with. **Letter (1909), quoted in John Stewart, 'Ramsay MacDonald, the Labour Party, and Child Welfare, 1900–1914', ''Twentieth Century British History'', Volume 4, Issue 2 (1993), p. 114 *The economic truths of Socialism, its industrialism, and its sociology, must remain the vainest of vain dreamings unless we preserve among the people the political frame of mind which can appreciate democratic liberty and worth. When "[[w:A Man's A Man for A' That|a man's a man for a' that]]" is recited without making the blood tingle, the ''man'' has ceased to be. **''Socialism and Government'' (1909), p. xxvi *The State does not concern itself primarily with man as possessor of rights, but with man as the doer of duties. A right is the opportunity of fulfilling a duty, and it should be recognised only in so far as it is necessary to the performance of duty... Nor should the State grant the "right" to the franchise unless by doing so it is promoting its own ends...as man approaches the fullness of liberty which he can enjoy only when he is perfect, his rights become more ample... The State regards the man as a carrier of human life between the Past and the Future, and assigns to him the work of realising the Future from the Past. It shows him the path. **''Socialism and Government'' (1909), pp. 11-12 *The land will therefore belong to the State in one or other of its several forms, and rent will be State income. The great factory industries will be controlled by associations of consumers which again will be identical with the State in some one or other of its aspects... the socialist state will mainly concern itself with co-ordinating production and consumption so as to prevent gluts, useless labour, unearned incomes, industrial loss, surplus values,—the causes of poverty. **''Socialism and Government'' (1909), pp. 119-120 *Greater liberty will be given to localities to regulate their own affairs, to acquire property for that purpose, to promulgate byelaws and more particularly to organise themselves as markets after the manner of co-operative societies. **''Socialism and Government'' (1909), p. 129 ===1910s=== *The Socialist, therefore, cannot consistently address himself to class sentiment or class prejudice. He ought, indeed, to look away from it, because any victory won as the result of siding with one party in the struggle only perpetuates what he desires to eliminate. The appeal to class interest is an appeal to the existing order, whether the class addressed is the rich or the poor. It is the anti-Socialist who makes class appeals; the Socialist makes social appeals. Class consciousness is an asset of the defenders of the existing order of exploitation. **''The Socialist Movement'' (1911), p. 148 *[T]he Labour Party stands for a contributory scheme so far as this Bill is concerned. Moreover, we are in favour of a contributory scheme with reference to sickness, whilst we were in favour of a non-contributory scheme in reference to old age pensions. **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1911/jul/06/national-insurance-financial-resolution#column_1443 Speech] in the House of Commons on the [[w:National Insurance Act 1911|National Insurance Bill]] (6 July 1911) *[[David Lloyd George|Mr. Lloyd George]] will not resign on anything anti-German. He is anti-German, and the trust which the reasonable Peace people place in him is altogether misplaced. **'From Green Benches', ''Leicester Pioneer'' (20 July 1911) *I have been mixed up a good deal with [[British Army|Army]] officers, and I never met an Army officer in that time without being told by some of them that they were going to stop [[w:Irish_Home_Rule|Home Rule]] if that was to be applied to [[Ulster]]. I have met them on board ship going out to [[British Raj|India]], and I have been nearly [[Assassination|assassinated]] by them. I remember one day on the way out to India we got a marconigram saying that [[w:James Larkin|Larkin]] had been sent to goal, and I said I could understand it if it had been Sir [[Edward Carson]]. The result of my saying that was that I was very nearly thrown overboard. **Speech in Newcastle-upon-Tyne (24 April 1914), quoted in ''The Times'' (25 April 1914), p. 10 *When Sir [[Edward Grey, 1st Viscount Grey of Fallodon|Edward Grey]] failed to secure peace between [[Germany]] and [[Russia]], he worked deliberately to involve us in the war, using [[Belgium]] as his chief excuse. **''Leicester Pioneer'' (7 August 1914), quoted in ''The Times'' (18 January 1924), p. 14 *The only reason from beginning to end is that our foreign office is anti-German and that the Admiralty was anxious to seize any opportunity for using the [[Royal Navy|Navy]] in battle practice... Never did we arm our people and ask them to give us their lives for less good cause than this. **''Leicester Pioneer'' (7 August 1914), quoted in ''The Times'' (9 April 1918), p. 8 and ''The Times'' (18 January 1924), p. 14 *Might and spirit will win and incalculable political and social consequences will follow upon victory. Victory must therefore be ours. England is not played out. Her mission is not accomplished. She can, if she would, take the place of esteemed honour among the democracies of the world, and if peace is to come with healing on her wings the democracies of Europe must be her guardians...History, will, in due time, apportion the praise and the blame, but the young men of the country must, for the moment, settle the immediate issue of victory. Let them do it in the spirit of the brave men who have crowned our country with honour in times that have gone. Whoever may be in the wrong, men so inspired will be in the right. The quarrel was not of the people, but the end of it will be the lives and liberties of the people. Should an opportunity arise to enable me to appeal to the pure love of country - which I know is a precious sentiment in all our hearts, keeping it clear of thought which I believe to be alien to real patriotism - I shall gladly take that opportunity. If need be I shall make it for myself. I wish the serious men of the Trade Union, the Brotherhood and similar movements to face their duty. To such it is enough to say 'England has need of you'; to say it in the right way. They will gather to her aid. They will protect her when the war is over, they will see to it that the policies and conditions that make it will go like the mists of a plague and shadows of a pestilence. **Letter to the Mayor of Leicester, declining to speak at a recruitment meeting (September 1914), quoted in [[w:David Marquand|David Marquand]], ''Ramsay MacDonald'' [1977] (1997), p. 175 *Let us understand what we are out for. I say unhesitatingly...I say perfectly definitely that this country, if it retains any shred of honour at all, cannot accept a peace unless peace is forced upon it which means the sacrifice of Belgian sovereignty to any extent. If Germany imagines that there is any section of this country that is prepared to accept peace at the sacrifice of any portion—and I emphasise this—not merely of Belgian sovereignty, but of any portion of it, then the sooner German public opinion is disabused of that delusion the better. **[https://api.parliament.uk/historic-hansard/commons/1916/may/24/supplementary-vote-of-credit-1916-17#column_2190 Speech] in the House of Commons (24 May 1916) *In youth one believes in democracy, later on, one has to ''accept'' it. **Diary entry (20 March 1919), quoted in [[w:David Marquand|David Marquand]], ‘[http://www.oxforddnb.com/view/article/34704, MacDonald, (James) Ramsay (1866–1937)]’, ''Oxford Dictionary of National Biography'', Oxford University Press, 2004; online edn, Oct 2009 *Were I a German Minister I should sign [the [[w:Treaty of Versailles|Treaty of Versailles]]<nowiki>]</nowiki> only after making it clear that my signature was obtained under compulsion and that the provisions were such that I could not guarantee they would be carried out. **''Forward'' (25 June 1919), quoted in Quintin Hogg, ''The Left was Never Right'' (1945), p. 31 ===1920s=== *Felt the virtues of the [[Victorian era|Victorian times]] so condemned by [[Lytton Strachey|Mr Strachey]]. The simple [[Honesty|honesties]] can always be made a butt by the impish unrealiabilites. **Diary entry (23 April 1921), quoted in [[w:David Marquand|David Marquand]], ''Ramsay MacDonald'' [1977] (1997), p. 246. MacDonald was reading Strachey's biography of Queen Victoria. He finished the book two days later and wrote in his diary that he was relieved that Strachey "enmeshed in Victoria's virtues & the real drama of her last phase. As a good Victorian I shd. like to let myself loose upon him. A psychological study of unusual interest" (Marquand, p. 246) *We will endeavour to unite the whole country in opposing French aggression... We cannot stand by and allow the resources of Germany to be deteriorated by French action. The British occupation of the [[Rhine]], if it is part of the French policy, cannot be allowed to continue. **On the [[w:Occupation of the Ruhr|French occupation of the Ruhr]]; ''Daily Herald'' (23 January 1923), quoted in Quintin Hogg, ''The Left was Never Right'' (1945), p. 116 *They were going to work their own country for all it was worth, to bring human labour into touch with God's natural endowments, so that the land would blossom like the rose and have houses and firesides where there would be happiness and glorious aspirations. **Speech to a Labour Party luncheon in the Hotel Belgravia, Victoria (1 November 1923), quoted in ''The Times'' (2 November 1923), p. 9 *When [[David Lloyd George|Mr. Lloyd George]] talked...about unemployment he forgot that he was the cause of it. Unemployment...and the increased cost of living were all due to causes that had been begun during Mr. Lloyd George's ''régime''. Mr. Lloyd George [[Paris Peace Conference (1919)|went to Paris]] to try to make good the nonsensical pledges he gave in 1918, and supported a Peace Treaty which had been the cause very nearly of [[Great Britain|Britain]]'s [[bankruptcy]], and certainly the bankruptcy of many other nations. He, and he alone, was responsible for that... Everything that had happened had been the outcome of Mr. Lloyd George's blunderings, and he was using the calamities of his own policy as a reason why they should send him back to office. **Speech in Northampton (19 November 1923), quoted in ''The Times'' (20 November 1923), p. 16 *He was a [[Free trade|free-trader]], because he felt it was the best, with all its drawbacks. There were higher wages in protected [[United States|America]], but there was corrupt politics. Protection in America meant more sweating in America than free trade did in [[England]]. The very worst of conditions and slums in England were a paradise compared with the conditions of [[steel]] workers under protection in [[Pittsburgh|Pittsburg]]. The whole of the protection system was meant not for workers, wage-earners, or the wives of working men, but to make capitalists [[Millionaire|millionaires]]. **Speech in Northampton (19 November 1923), quoted in ''The Times'' (20 November 1923), p. 16 *I do think...that the way the ''Daily News'' and the ''Westminster Gazette'' behaved [during the [[w:1923 United Kingdom general election|election]]<nowiki>]</nowiki> was contemptible. We expect nothing better from the ''Daily Mail'' and such miserable products. The result, however, of the whole fight has been to dig both deeply and broadly a ditch between Liberalism and Labour. From all over the country I hear from my friends who fought that the Liberal fight was dirtier than the Tory, and I have seen leaflets like that issued by [Sir Henry] [[w:Sir Henry Webb, 1st Baronet|Webb]] who fought [Hugh] [[w:Hugh Dalton|Dalton]] in Cardiff, which are simply amazing in their dishonesty. The line he took was that whilst we pitied the poor German who was being asked to pay £2,000,000,000 we had no qualms in imposing a Capital Levy upon Englishmen to the extent of £3,000,000,000. **Letter to C. P. Scott (11 December 1923), quoted in ''The Political Diaries of C. P. Scott, 1911–1928'', ed. Trevor Wilson (1970), pp. 448-449 *[[David Lloyd George|Mr. Lloyd George]]'s campaign in its gross demagogic vulgarity has also increased both the number and the value of the reasons why we should have nothing whatever to do with his Party. **Letter to C. P. Scott (11 December 1923), quoted in ''The Political Diaries of C. P. Scott, 1911–1928'', ed. Trevor Wilson (1970), p. 449 *We do not believe that military alliances are going to bring security. We believe that a military alliance in an agreement for security is like a grain of mustard seed—small to begin with. That is the essential seed of the agreement, and that seed with the years will grow and grow and grow, until at last the tree that has been produced from it will overshadow the heavens, and we shall be back exactly in the military position in which we found ourselves in 1914. **Speech to the [[League of Nations]] Assembly in Geneva (4 September 1924), quoted in ''The Times'' (5 September 1924), p. 12 *The League takes upon itself as its first task the creating once again of the European system, and that European system never will exist until our late enemies have ceased to be our enemies and have come in to take their cooperative part in that system. **Speech to the League of Nations Assembly in Geneva (4 September 1924), quoted in ''The Times'' (5 September 1924), p. 12 *I am in favour of [[w:Arbitration#International|arbitration]]—I see nothing else for the world. If we cannot devise a proper system of arbitration, then do not let us fool ourselves that we are going to have peace. Let us go back to the past, let us go back to competitive armaments, let us go back to that false, whited sepulchre of security and of military pacts—there is nothing else for us—and let us prepare for the next war, because that is inevitable. **Speech to the League of Nations Assembly in Geneva (4 September 1924), quoted in ''The Times'' (5 September 1924), p. 12 *We are here preparing, as I see it, this international armaments conference. That ought to be our project. If we can remove the obstacles in the way of that we shall have done a tremendous amount of work that, in its very nature, once it is done, is bound to be permanent, because the reason and morality of the world will stand by it so loyally. **Speech to the League of Nations Assembly in Geneva (4 September 1924), quoted in ''The Times'' (5 September 1924), p. 12 *During all my political life I have anchored myself firmly upon the conviction that if progress is to be well-rooted, it can only be carried on by what is called political or constitutional ways... I can see no hope in India if it becomes the arena of a struggle between constitutionalism and revolution. No party in Great Britain will be cowed by threats of force or by policies designed to bring government to a standstill; and if any sections in India are under the delusion that that is not so, events will very sadly disappoint them. I would urge upon all the best friends of India to come nearer to us rather than to stand apart from us, to get at our reason and our good will. **Message dispatched to India (6 January 1925), quoted in ''The Times'' (26 January 1925), p. 9 *Political leaders, irrespective of party...were beginning to see that, unless in Europe they could create an enormous federation of free-trade nations, there was not a single nation in Europe which could flourish in the industrial standard it ought to occupy. **Speech in Northampton (21 November 1925), quoted in ''The Times'' (23 November 1925), p. 14 *I can assure you that, whatever your political colour may be, in the Old Country political parties, even in the heat of battle, never obscure national or Imperial interests. **Speech to a state banquet in Ottawa (9 September 1928), quoted in ''The Times'' (11 September 1928), p. 13 *The policy of Great Britain is not the policy of alliances with any certain set of nations. It is a policy of friendship with those nations that believe in democratic forms of government and democratic development. The policy of Great Britain now is, and must be, and will be, that all nations in good will, in singleness, and in disinterestedness of heart will meet together, consider the great problems of [[Europe]] and the problems of the whole world, and agree, as the result of cooperation, discussion, and joint exchange of opinion, on a common policy which will make alliances absolutely a thing of the past. **Address to the German ''Reichstag'' (15 October 1928), quoted in ''The Times'' (16 October 1928), p. 15 *What the [[w:Liberal Party (UK)|Liberals]] have done to the Labour Party's programme is to come along like a gipsy, steal our child, get it in gaudy attire, and then produce it on platforms to perform at the General Election. **Speech in Swansea (15 March 1929), quoted in John Campbell, ''Lloyd George: The Goat in the Wilderness, 1922–1931'' (1977), p. 226 *I see that [[David Lloyd George|Mr. Lloyd George]] last night confessed that he read the betting news in the papers. (Laughter.) Ah! I shake my head at the [[w:A Rake's Progress|Rake's Progress]]. (Laughter.) ... The only Liberal contribution to the programme advocated by Mr. Lloyd George is its headline... It is just a certain amount of improvised jazz—that is their programme. **Speech in Madeley in the Wreckin Division in response to the Liberal Party's "Orange Book", ''We can Conquer Unemployment'' (27 March 1929), quoted in ''The Times'' (28 March 1929), p. 16 *In 1918 [[David Lloyd George|Mr. Lloyd George]] let himself produce such a programme of development as would astonish his rivals. He was going to hang the [[Wilhelm II, German Emperor|Kaiser]]. You said, "That is the man who has the ear of the public." He was going to build one million houses. He was going to make the land fit for heroes to live in, and you said, "That's the thing." He was going to search the pockets of [[Germany]] for the last penny, and you said, "That the stuff." My friends, it was stuff. (Cheers and laughter.) ... If unemployment had been tackled in a business-like fashion in the first three years after the War, it would not have grown to the proportion it had now reached... Mr. Lloyd George has been in office, nay in power, with a majority of 300; [[Stanley Baldwin|Mr. Baldwin]] has been in power with a majority of 200. What have they done? Have they broken the tale of heartbreakening worsening? Nowhere. It is only to the Labour Party that you can look for the solution of your troubles. **Speech in Aberavon (2 May 1929), quoted in ''The Times'' (3 May 1929), p. 11 *Let us declare boldly in favour of disarmament. Let us put down our own proposals, arguing them, fighting for them, persuading people to join us, appealing not only to the reason but to the moral sense of the world. Great Britain marching clear away at the head of the great movement for international peace, that is our idea. **Speech in the Free Trade Hall, Manchester (24 May 1929), quoted in ''The Times'' (25 May 1929), p. 6 *We want no injustice done to other people. I do not appeal to you merely as a class, but I do appeal to you workers to form yourselves into an organisation which will use political power in order to protect our human conditions and give you fair play in life. **Speech in the Hippodrome, Darlington (25 May 1929), quoted in ''The Times'' (27 May 1929), p. 9 *[I]f we lose our chance now, which really means if this Government is to be continued in power, that chance will not return either to us or to our children. The memories of the last War will grow dim. The world will get back into its old rut, familiar professions and piety about peace will again soothe us to sleep, and the various countries will once more base their security upon military preparation. So they will all, in the end, find themselves drifting hopelessly upon those currents that make for war—[[1914]] will be repeated... And remember what the next war is to be like. The old lines which divide combatants from non-combatants, the weak and the diseased from the strong and the robust, men from women and children, will all be obliterated and civilization itself assailed, and from sea and sky will be brought to a heap of ruins. **Speech in the Newcastle station of the BBC that was broadcast on radio as the Labour Party's [[w:1929 United Kingdom general election|election]] address (28 May 1929), quoted in ''The Times'' (29 May 1929), p. 9 *There can be no security until the Great Powers have agreed to settle their disputes, which have hitherto led to war, by conciliation and arbitration. This was the policy which the Labour Party was working up to in 1924, and which it will pursue again when it is in office. **Speech in the Newcastle station of the BBC that was broadcast on radio as the Labour Party's election address (28 May 1929), quoted in ''The Times'' (29 May 1929), p. 9 *Unemployment cannot be cured by relief work nor by patchwork of any kind. We must develop national resources and improve trade so that there will be increased employment and a tremendous revolution in industry and in power by the use of electricity and petrol, which must be accompanied by reorganisation of transport, including the making of roads, the reconditioning of railway plant and equipment, an extension of pensions which must enable the more aged workers to retire, the raising of the school age with necessary maintenance grants. We must dam the influx of premature people into industry. **Speech in the Newcastle station of the BBC that was broadcast on radio as the Labour Party's election address (28 May 1929), quoted in ''The Times'' (29 May 1929), p. 9 *We do not believe that a nation can flourish on the poverty of its masses. Empty pockets are not only poverty, but breed poverty. Our own backs and stomachs still are the most neglected and yet the most profitable of our markets. Those who believe that [[w:Safeguard|safeguarding]] or [[w:Protectionism|protection]] is any aid to the development of that market had better study protected countries, where wages are low, unemployment is habitual, and poverty even worse than it is here. Unemployment insurance is not a dole, it is a benefit which has been paid for just like life insurance. These payments must be made adequate for the purpose in order to safeguard our people against the demoralisation of charity. We have concentrated this policy into two points and they stand as representing our purpose. Work first of all, but if no work, maintenance. **Speech in the Newcastle station of the BBC that was broadcast on radio as the Labour Party's election address (28 May 1929), quoted in ''The Times'' (29 May 1929), p. 9 *One of the great reasons why I belong to the Labour Party and hold the Socialist views of what a wise and just social structure is, is because I detest class politics and want to end them in real national unity. In bringing that about we have to consider the claims of the great mass of our people, who, on account of their poverty, cannot adequately protect themselves. What has national unity meant to them? A change in a machine can make them outcasts; a change in fashion can make them paupers... The Labour Party wants to bring within the bounds and the meaning of this national unity the bottom dog, as he is called. For this purpose we have organised our great public services. The Labour Party wishes to develop them. **Speech in the Newcastle station of the BBC that was broadcast on radio as the Labour Party's election address (28 May 1929), quoted in ''The Times'' (29 May 1929), p. 9 *I am so much concerned for the quiet development of industry, the peaceful mind and confidence both at home and abroad, that I will use every ounce of influence I have to prevent another election for the next two years... I wish to make it quite clear that '''I am going to stand for no monkeying.''' **Statement to a London correspondent of the Associated Press (1 June 1929), quoted in ''The Literary Digest'', Volume 101 (1929), p. 14 and ''Current History'', Volume 30 (1929), p. 660 ===1930s=== *The day is coming when we may have to give up orthodox free trade as we inherited it from our fathers. **Remark to J. H. Thomas (14 January 1930), quoted in Thomas Jones, ''Whitehall Diary, Volume II: 1926–1930'', ed. Keith Middlemas (1969), p. 235 *[The [[w:Kellogg–Briand Pact|Kellogg Pact]] is] a mighty moral bulwark against war – and we must never underestimate the effectiveness of moral bulwarks with no bayonet nor bludgeon behind them. The entry of the United States into the [[w:Permanent Court of International Justice|Permanent Court of International Justice]], the growing confidence in the court, and the increase in the number of nations who have signed the Optional Clause mark definite and, I believe, irrevocable steps in the displacement of military power by judicial process in the settlement of international disputes. Public servants like us will fail in our duty if we do not diminish military power in proportion to the increase of political security... I dare affirm that, in the naval programme of the leading naval powers, there is a margin between real security needs and actual or projected strength, and the world expects this Conference to eliminate that margin. **Speech as chairman of the [[w:London Naval Treaty|London Naval Conference]] (January 1930), quoted in [[w:David Marquand|David Marquand]], ''Ramsay MacDonald'' [1977] (1997), p. 510 *All this humbug of curing unemployment by [[w:Exchequer|Exchequer]] grants is one of the most superficial and ill considered proposals that has ever been foisted upon the Party. There is no more Socialism in it than there was in the cup of tea that I had at breakfast this morning. **Letter to Walton Newbold (2 June 1930), quoted in [[w:David Marquand|David Marquand]], ''Ramsay MacDonald'' [1977] (1997), p. 538 *As a result of a careful examination of ideas they had come to the conclusion that the great work of every constructive Government must be to put the population on the land. Here was something permanent. They took men body and soul off the pavements, which had no rootable capacity, and put them in the fields to till and sow and harvest. In the worst time they would produce their own food there. It might not be luxurious, but it was healthy. **Speech to the Labour Party conference in Llandudno (7 October 1930), quoted in ''The Times'' (8 October 1930), p. 7 *If we refuse...what are the prospects? Repression, and nothing but repression, and it is a very uncomfortable repression; a kind of repression from which we shall get neither credit nor success. It is the repression of the masses of the people, the great proportion of these masses being women and children. It is the repression not of organisations and not of bodies; it will develop into the repression of the whole of the population... If, on the other hand, you wish to bind India to you by bonds of confidence, to make her happy within your Empire and Commonwealth, if you wish to hear her praise you in gratitude and remain with you in pride, then accept the work that has been done by the [[w:Round Table Conferences (India)|Conference]], and instruct the Government to proceed with it to a complete conclusion. **[https://hansard.parliament.uk/Commons/1931-01-26/debates/8a5b21f7-05dc-4c09-b195-075ec6261125/CommonsChamber Speech] in the House of Commons on Indian constitutional reform (26 January 1931) *We are going to [[Geneva]] determined, by persuasion, by arguments, by appeals to what has been written, appeals to measures already taken, appeals to history, appeals to common sense, to get the nations of the world to join in and reduce this enormous, disgraceful burden of armaments which we are now bearing from one end of the world to the other. **Speech in the Royal Albert Hall, London, in support of the aims of the [[w:World Disarmament Conference|Disarmament Conference]] in Geneva (11 July 1931), quoted in ''The Times'' (13 July 1931), p. 14 *The Socialist Movement in this country is going to rack and ruin, because it is being controlled by people who are nothing more than critics of the Government, inspired by the idea that all you have to do is to hand out largesse to the community. All sense of principle, of communal organisation, and of service given with one's whole heart to the community, has gone and we are in danger of drifting into a Poor Law frame of mind. **Letter to Captain Bennett (8 August 1931), quoted in [[w:David Marquand|David Marquand]], ''Ramsay MacDonald'' [1977] (1997), p. 609 *If we yield now to the [[w:Trades Union Congress|TUC]] we shall never be able to call our bodies or souls or intelligences our own. **Diary entry after the TUC rejected cuts in public spending (22 August 1931), quoted in [[w:David Marquand|David Marquand]], [http://www.oxforddnb.com/view/article/34704, "MacDonald, (James) Ramsay (1866–1937)"], ''Oxford Dictionary of National Biography'', Oxford University Press, 2004; online edn, October 2009. *Yes, to-morrow every Duchess in [[London]] will be wanting to kiss me! **Remark to [[Philip Snowden]] the day after the formation of the National government (''c''. 25 August 1931), quoted in Philip Snowden, ''An Autobiography. Volume Two: 1919-1934'' (1934), p. 987 *The desolation of loneliness is terrible. Was I wise? Perhaps not, but it seemed as though anything else was impossible. **Notebook entry on his estrangement from the Labour Party (27 December 1932), quoted in [[w:David Marquand|David Marquand]], [http://www.oxforddnb.com/view/article/34704, "MacDonald, (James) Ramsay (1866–1937)"], ''Oxford Dictionary of National Biography'', Oxford University Press, 2004; online edn, October 2009 *I do not intend to carry on when we are through this mess. As soon as we have turned the corner I will get out, but I do not want to leave the Labour Party in a bad position. **Remarks to [[w:Walter Citrine, 1st Baron Citrine|Walter Citrine]] (27 January 1933), quoted in Walter Citrine, ''Men and Work: An Autobiography'' (1964), p. 288 *If I had only been able to carry my colleagues with me what we could have achieved! What a chance we had! But we threw it away. If they had only been straight enough to stand by what they had initiated, not what finally resulted from it—I am not saying that—I could have helped them. When they ran away and began to deny that they had ever had anything to do with our proposals, well, I thought to myself that politics had become too degraded for me. Do you know that they turned me out of the Labour Party with a rubber stamp? ... [W]hen I write my book on how the Labour Party betrayed Socialism I will tell the story there. **Remarks to Walter Citrine (27 January 1933), quoted in Walter Citrine, ''Men and Work: An Autobiography'' (1964), pp. 288-289 *You are faced with the problem of what to do in respect to this question, to that question, and to the other question, but perfectly obviously, after you have faced the more superficial aspects of the separate questions, you want to know in relation to a complete plan what you are actually giving and what you are actually getting. Therefore, when the departmental, or compartmental, exploration has gone on to a certain extent it cannot be finished until somebody, co-ordinating all your problems, sets out in one statement and declaration the complete scheme that this Conference can pass in order to give security, to give disarmament, to give hope to the future–until that scheme has been placed before you, you cannot complete your examination of compartmental problems and questions... **Speech to the [[w:Geneva Disarmament Conference|Geneva Disarmament Conference]] (1933), quoted by [[w:John Gunther|John Gunther]], ''Inside Europe'' (1940), p. 338, as an example of MacDonald's increasing mental deterioration. *We have started a housing and [[w:Slum clearance in the United Kingdom|slum clearance]] programme which will not only give employment but will provide a decent setting for family life. In slums alone we are to deal with 20 houses where only one used to be dealt with. What that cause means to those of us who believe that the crown of the civilized state is the healthy family and the happy fireside you can judge. **Broadcast (7 December 1933), quoted in 'Towards Better Times', ''The Times'' (8 December 1933), p. 16 *The Government is labouring arduously for peace. The world is unsettled and nations are timorous. They would go far with disarmament, but are just a little afraid, and whatever is done at Geneva must be by international agreement. Our experience has been, without the shadow of a doubt, that one nation disarming will have no influence upon others. We ourselves have disarmed to the very edge of safety, and our consistent efforts have been to get other nations to see that an agreed limit to armaments, accompanied by political agreements of non-aggression, is the most effective security of peace and safety. **Broadcast (7 December 1933), quoted in 'Towards Better Times', ''The Times'' (8 December 1933), p. 16 *There are people who pant for a return to the gay high old times of partisan fighting, when every day brought a spectacular display with smart, scintillating speeches, plenty of spice and ginger, and cheers of amused people sending the performers home to bed. Our days are too grim for that, but the old game has begun again. **Broadcast (7 December 1933), quoted in 'Towards Better Times', ''The Times'' (8 December 1933), p. 16 *As far back as 1895 I stood as an unflinching opponent of the idea that the progress of Socialism could be made by the declaration of a class war. I have always been opposed to it, and I exemplify that opposition to-day. The only method of social progress is not by dividing society, but by uniting society and giving all of us the community-consciousness that asks us cooperators to reach the great and good state ahead of us. **Speech in Southampton (13 November 1934), quoted in ''The Times'' (14 November 1934), p. 15 *To-day, in spite of the prospects, our faith is undiminished. Our hearts may be sad—mine certainly is—but I have handed in none of my papers of enlistment in the Army of Peace. I am still in the ranks of that Army: a fighting soldier to remain there and act there and strive there as long as there is breath in my body and persuasion in my lips. **Speech in Southampton (13 November 1934), quoted in ''The Times'' (14 November 1934), p. 16 *What we have to do is to doom the slums. And we have done it. It is going to take a year or two. We are not only going to doom slums, we are going to doom overcrowding. Next Session the House of Commons will...pass legislation which is going to doom overcrowding as we have already doomed the slums. **Speech in Southampton (13 November 1934), quoted in ''The Times'' (14 November 1934), p. 16 *The substance of Germany's general case has a background of reason and human nature. I cannot be accused of ever having approached it in the "mind of [[w:Treaty of Versailles|Versailles]]," nor in the spirit of one who assumed that a powerful and a proud people could be kept subordinate by force (even by what seems to be an overwhelming force), nor have I ever seen anything but disaster issuing from and to the [[League of Nations]] if it is used by victors to perpetuate the position and mind they were in on the day of their victory... But, be that as it may, Germany has acted in such a way as to destroy the feeling of mutual confidence in Europe. It has broken up the road to peace and has beset it with terrors. It claims a measure of armed power which puts most of the nations of Europe at its mercy. Every reflecting and reasonable [[Germans|German]] must see the force of the point I am making. He must know in his heart that [[Berlin]] is not enough—that, in fact, it has upset very much more than it has pacified. **'Peace, Germany and Stresa', ''News Letter'' (27 April 1935), quoted in ''The Times'' (26 April 1935), p. 16. This article was first issued in the Press Bulletin of the National Labour Committee on 25 April (''Documents on German Foreign Policy 1918–1945: April 1935–March 1936'' (1962), p. 81) *The most secure nation in the whole of Europe, until it roused suspicions and fears against itself, was Germany. The German people who believe stories of encirclement cannot help recognising that their latest policy of military expansion, together with the circumstances of its declaration—an army greater than that of any other nation in Europe, an air force already declared equal to ours, a fleet that would be equal to the [[France|French]] and superior to the [[Italy|Italian]]—must rouse fear and unsettlement in the mind of every nation at which it can strike, and inevitably force the sound pacific idea of general [[w:Collective security|collective security]] into the dangerous form of military alliances. The nations which were backward in making their contributions are now congratulating themselves that they waited for Germany to make its contribution first. **'Peace, Germany and Stresa', ''News Letter'' (27 April 1935), quoted in ''The Times'' (26 April 1935), p. 16 *My first grave doubts as to German diplomacy arose when Germany left the League of Nations for reasons which I have never been able to appreciate, except upon assumptions which meant that the German Government was indifferent to the pacification of Europe. **'Peace, Germany and Stresa', ''News Letter'' (27 April 1935), quoted in ''The Times'' (26 April 1935), p. 18 *I know that, when the troubled history of these times comes to be studied and recorded in the cold and just light of truth, all the blame will not lie at Germany's door. That will not save it, its methods and its self-will, as shown in these latter days, from the blame of destroying the chances of success in peacemaking which were once again presenting themselves to us, and of throwing the mind of Europe suddenly into anxiety and turning it back upon the fatal ways of militarism, thus compelling the nations of Europe to return for an evanescent comfort to increased military equipment. **'Peace, Germany and Stresa', ''News Letter'' (27 April 1935), quoted in ''The Times'' (26 April 1935), p. 18 *The channels of world trade are so obstructed by the pursuit of nationalist economic policy that steps should be taken at once to make it possible to arrive at an international economic agreement which would revive international trade. A return to free trade pure and simple would only increase unemployment. **Speech to the National Labour conference in Caxton Hall, London (28 October 1935), quoted in ''The Times'' (29 October 1935), p. 9 *This nation ought to be quipped to defend itself and to fulfil its responsibility under the League system of mutual assistance in the event of an aggressor coming to threaten us all. A defenceless Britain at this stage of evolution will not be an aid to peace but an incentive to war. But we must watch very closely lest the acceptance of the responsibility to prepare for defence may lead to a policy of militarism for its own sake. We draw this distinction and will continue to observe it. **Speech to the National Labour conference in Caxton Hall, London (28 October 1935), quoted in ''The Times'' (29 October 1935), p. 9 *That blot on the peace of the world, the [[w:Treaty of Versailles|Treaty of Versailles]], is vanishing, and for that I am thankful... France has again had a severe lesson, and I hope it will take it this time. In any event the folly of pandering to it by standing rigidly to the letter of Versailles or [[w:Locarno Treaties|Locarno]]...must now be plain and this logical and legalistic nation should be brought to face reality. **Diary entry in response to the [[w:Remilitarization of the Rhineland|remilitarisation of the Rhineland]] (8 March 1936) , quoted in Stephen A. Schuker, 'France and the Remilitarization of the Rhineland, 1936', ''French Historical Studies'', Vol. 14, No. 3 (Spring, 1986), p. 314 ==Quotes about MacDonald== *Ramsay MacDonald was a born leader, with a commanding personality and a magnificent presence; the most handsome man in public life. He was a great orator whose deep, resonant voice and sweeping gestures added to the force of his words. In his vehemence, however, he sometimes perpetrated startling malapropisms, and I remember him calling on delegates at an ILP conference to "work by day and propagate by night". **[[w:Fenner Brockway|Fenner Brockway]], ''Towards Tomorrow'' (1977), p. 35 *The Prime Minister had always had that gift of imagination, that touch of the quixotic, which might be called Scottish rather than Celtic, because it was the birthright of all their people. He had dreamed dreams which perhaps were not the dreams of many of them, but at any rate he had always had vision and a long perspective in life. There was a great deal of the Covenanter in him, and there was a great deal of the Cavalier. He had an acute sense of the past, and history was a living thing to him; but at the same time he was no drab antiquarian. He embodied, too, all their local affections, and he was a Highlander by descent and by domicile. **[[John Buchan]], speech to the birthday dinner given to MacDonald in the Connaught Rooms (26 November 1931), quoted in ''The Times'' (27 November 1931), p. 14 *What is the Prime Minister going to do? I spoke the other day, after he had been defeated in an important division about his wonderful skill in falling without hurting himself. He falls, but up he comes again, smiling, a little dishevelled but still smiling. But this is a juncture, a situation, which will try to the fullest the peculiar arts in which he excites. I remember when I was a child, being taken to the celebrated [[P. T. Barnum|Barnum's Circus]] which contained an exhibition of freaks and monstrosities, but the exhibit on the programme which I most admired to see was the one described as "The Boneless Wonder". My parents judged that that spectacle would be too revolting and demoralizing for my youthful eyes, and I have waited fifty years to see the boneless wonder sitting on the Treasury Bench. **[[Winston Churchill]] in the House of Commons (28 January 1931), quoted in Martin Gilbert, ''Prophet of Truth. Winston S. Churchill. 1922-1939'' (1979), p. 389, n. 1 *Early in the year 1923, [[Bonar Law|Mr. Bonar Law]] resigned the Premiership and retired to die of his fell affliction. Mr. Baldwin succeeded him as Prime Minister, and [[George Curzon, 1st Marquess Curzon of Kedleston|Lord Curzon]] reconciled himself to the office of Foreign Secretary in the new Administration. Thus began that period of fourteen years which may well be called “The Baldwin-MacDonald Régime.” During all that time Mr. Baldwin was always, in fact if not in form, either at the head of the Government or leader of the Opposition, and as Mr. MacDonald never obtained an independent majority, Mr. Baldwin, whether in office or opposition, was the ruling political figure in Britain. At first in alternation but eventually in political brotherhood, these two statesmen governed the country. Nominally the representatives of opposing parties, of contrary doctrines, of antagonistic interests, they proved in fact to be more nearly akin in outlook, temperament, and method than any other two men who had been Prime Ministers since that office was known to the Constitution. Curiously enough, the sympathies of each extended far into the territory of the other. Ramsay MacDonald nursed many of the sentiments of the old [[Tory]]. [[Stanley Baldwin]], apart from a [[Manufacturing|manufacturer]]’s ingrained approval of [[w:Protectionism|protection]], was by disposition a truer representative of mild Socialism than many to be found in the Labour ranks. **[[Winston Churchill]], ''The Second World War Volume I: The Gathering Storm'' (1948), <nowiki>ISBN 0-7953-0602-4</nowiki>, p. 39 *The Liberal Party, rallying round the standard of free trade, to which I also adhered, gained a balancing position at the polls, and, though in a minority, might well have taken office had [[H. H. Asquith|Mr. Asquith]] wished to do so. In view of his disinclination, Mr. Ramsay MacDonald, at the head of little more than two-fifths of the House, became the first Socialist Prime Minister of Great Britain, and lived in office for a year by the sufferance and on the quarrels of the two older parties. The nation was extremely restive under minority Socialist rule, and the political weather became so favourable that the two Oppositions – Liberal and Conservative – picked an occasion to defeat the Socialist Government on a major issue. There was another general election – the third in less than two years. The Conservatives were returned by a majority of 222 over all other parties combined. At the beginning of this election Mr. Baldwin’s position was very weak, and he made no particular contribution to the result. He had, however, previously maintained himself as party leader, and as the results were declared, it became certain he would become again Prime Minister. He retired to his home to form his second Administration. **[[Winston Churchill]], ''The Second World War Volume I: The Gathering Storm'' (1948), <nowiki>ISBN 0-7953-0602-4</nowiki>, p. 40 *The general election of May, 1929, showed that the “swing of the pendulum” and the normal desire for change were powerful factors with the British electorate. The Socialists had a small majority over the Conservatives in the new House of Commons. The Liberals, with about sixty seats, held the balance, and it was plain that under Mr. Lloyd George’s leadership they would, at the outset at least, be hostile to the Conservatives. Mr. Baldwin and I were in full agreement that we should not seek to hold office in a minority or on precarious Liberal support. Accordingly, although there were some differences of opinion in the Cabinet and the party about the course to be taken, Mr. Baldwin tendered his resignation to the [[George V of the United Kingdom|King]]. We all went down to Windsor in a special train to give up our seals and offices; and on June 7, Mr. Ramsay MacDonald became for the second time Prime Minister at the head of a minority Government depending upon Liberal votes. The Socialist Prime Minister wished his new Labour Government to distinguish itself by large concessions to [[Egypt]], by a far-reaching constitutional change in India, and by a renewed effort for world, or at any rate British, disarmament. These were aims in which he could count upon Liberal aid, and for which he therefore commanded a parliamentary majority. Here began my differences with Mr. Baldwin, and thereafter the relationship in which we had worked since he chose me for Chancellor of the Exchequer five years before became sensibly altered. We still, of course, remained in easy personal contact, but we knew we did not mean the same thing. My idea was that the Conservative Opposition should strongly confront the Labour Government on all great imperial and national issues, should identify itself with the majesty of Britain as under [[Benjamin Disraeli|Lord Beaconsfield]] and [[Robert Gascoyne-Cecil, 3rd Marquess of Salisbury|Lord Salisbury]], and should not hesitate to face controversy, even though that might not immediately evoke a response from the nation. So far as I could see, Mr. Baldwin felt that the times were too far gone for any robust assertion of British imperial greatness, and that the hope of the Conservative Party lay in accommodation with Liberal and Labour forces, and in adroit, well-timed manoeuvres to detach powerful moods of public opinion and large blocks of voters from them. He certainly was very successful. He was the greatest party manager the Conservatives had ever had. He fought, as their leader, five general elections, of which he won three. History alone can judge these general issues. **[[Winston Churchill]], ''The Second World War Volume I: The Gathering Storm'' (1948), <nowiki>ISBN 0-7953-0602-4</nowiki>, p. 51-52 *In the wake of the [[Stock market crash|collapse of the stock market]] came, during the years between 1929 and 1932, an unrelenting fall in [[Price|prices]] and consequent cuts in [[production]] causing widespread unemployment. The consequences of this dislocation of economic life became world-wide. A general contraction of trade in the face of unemployment and declining production followed. Tariff restrictions were imposed to protect the home markets. The [[Great Depression|general crisis]] brought with it acute monetary difficulties, and paralysed internal credit. This spread ruin and unemployment far and wide throughout the globe. Mr. MacDonald’s Government, with all their promises behind them, saw unemployment during 1930 and 1931 bound up in their faces from one million to nearly three millions. It was said that in the United States ten million persons were without work. The entire banking system of the great Republic was thrown into confusion and temporary collapse. Consequential disasters fell upon Germany and other European countries. However, nobody starved in the [[English language|English-speaking]] world. **[[Winston Churchill]], ''The Second World War Volume I: The Gathering Storm'' (1948), <nowiki>ISBN 0-7953-0602-4</nowiki>, p. 54-55 *It is always difficult for an administration or party which is founded upon attacking [[capital]] to preserve the confidence and credit so important to the highly artificial economy of an [[Islands|island]] like Britain. Mr. MacDonald’s Labour-Socialist Government were utterly unable to cope with the problems which confronted them. They could not command the party discipline or produce the vigour necessary even to balance the budget. In such conditions a Government, already in a minority and deprived of all financial confidence, could not survive. The failure of the Labour Party to face this tempest, the sudden collapse of British financial credit, and the break-up of the Liberal Party, with its unwholesome balancing power, led to a national coalition. It seemed that only a Government of all parties was capable of coping with the crisis. Mr. MacDonald and [[Philip Snowden, 1st Viscount Snowden|his Chancellor of the Exchequer]], on a strong patriotic emotion, attempted to carry the mass of the Labour Party into this combination. Mr. Baldwin, always content that others should have the function so long as he retained the power, was willing to serve under Mr. MacDonald. It was an attitude which, though deserving respect, did not correspond to the facts. Mr. Lloyd George was still recovering from an operation – serious at his age; and [[w:John_Simon|Sir John Simon]] led the bulk of the Liberals into the all-party combination. **[[Winston Churchill]], ''The Second World War Volume I: The Gathering Storm'' (1948), <nowiki>ISBN 0-7953-0602-4</nowiki>, p. 55-56 *The formation of the new Government did not end the financial crisis, and I returned from abroad to find everything unsettled in the advent of an inevitable general election. The verdict of the electorate was worthy of the British nation. A National Government had been formed under Mr. Ramsay MacDonald, founder of the Labour-Socialist Party. They proposed to the people a programme of severe [[austerity]] and sacrifice. It was an earlier version of “Blood, sweat, toil, and tears,” without the stimulus or the requirements of war and mortal peril. The sternest economy must be practised. Everyone would have his wages, salary, or income reduced. The mass of the people were asked to vote for a régime of self-denial. They responded as they always do when caught in the heroic temper. Although contrary to their declarations, the Government abandoned the [[gold standard]], and although Mr. Baldwin was obliged to suspend, as it proved for ever, those very payments on the American debt which he had forced on the Bonar Law Cabinet of 1923, confidence and credit were restored. There was an overwhelming majority for the new Administration. Mr. MacDonald as Prime Minister was only followed by seven or eight members of his own party; but barely a hundred of his Labour opponents and former followers were returned to Parliament. His health and powers were failing fast, and he reigned in increasing decrepitude at the summit of the [[Politics of the United Kingdom|British system]] for nearly four fateful years. And very soon in these four years came [[Adolf Hitler|Hitler]]. **[[Winston Churchill]], ''The Second World War Volume I: The Gathering Storm'' (1948), <nowiki>ISBN 0-7953-0602-4</nowiki>, p. 55-56 *The [[Government of the United Kingdom|British Government]] which resulted from the general election of 1931 was in appearance one of the strongest, and in fact one of the weakest, in British records. Mr. Ramsay MacDonald, the Prime Minister, had severed himself, with the utmost bitterness on both sides, from the Socialist Party which it had been his life’s work to create. Henceforward he brooded supinely at the head of an administration which, though nominally National, was in fact overwhelmingly Conservative. Mr. Baldwin preferred the substance to the form of power, and reigned placidly in the background. The Foreign Office was filled by Sir John Simon, one of the leaders of the Liberal contingent. The main work of the Administration at home was done by Mr. [[Neville Chamberlain]], who soon succeeded Mr. Snowden as Chancellor of the Exchequer. The Labour Party, blamed for its failure in the financial crisis and sorely stricken at the polls, was led by the extreme pacifist, Mr. [[George Lansbury]]. During the period of almost five years of this Administration, from January, 1931, to November, 1935, the entire situation on the Continent of Europe was reversed. **[[Winston Churchill]], ''The Second World War Volume I: The Gathering Storm'' (1948), <nowiki>ISBN 0-7953-0602-4</nowiki>, p. 89 *Mr. MacDonald’s health and capacity had declined to a point which made his continuance as Prime Minister impossible. He had never been popular with the Conservative Party, who regarded him, on account of his political and war records and Socialist faith, with long-bred prejudice softened in later years by pity. No man was more hated or with better reason by the Labour-Socialist Party which he had so largely created and then laid low by what they viewed as his treacherous desertion in 1931. In the massive majority of the Government he had but seven party followers. The disarmament policy to which he had given his utmost personal efforts had now proved a disastrous failure. A general election could not be far distant, in which he could play no helpful part. In these circumstances there was no surprise when, on June 7, it was announced that he and Mr. Baldwin had changed places and offices, and that Mr. Baldwin had become Prime Minister for the third time. The Foreign Office also passed to another hand. Sir Samuel Hoare’s labours at the India Office had been crowned by the passing of the Government of India Bill, and he was now free to turn to a more immediately important sphere. For some time past Sir John Simon had been bitterly attacked for his foreign policy by influential Conservatives closely associated with the Government. He now moved to the Home Office, with which he was well acquainted, and Sir Samuel Hoare became Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs. **[[Winston Churchill]], ''The Second World War Volume I: The Gathering Storm'' (1948), <nowiki>ISBN 0-7953-0602-4</nowiki>, p. 168 *Although we have differed in late years on political matters, I hope that in the bitterness of spirit you must feel at present, you will recall that there are thousands who, like myself, remember with pride and gratitude your work for Socialism and the cause of Labour in days when it was neither easy nor popular to be a pioneer. **[[w:Walter Citrine, 1st Baron Citrine|Walter Citrine]], letter to MacDonald after he had lost his seat in the 1935 general election (November 1935), quoted in ''Men and Work: An Autobiography'' (1964), p. 291 *Deep resentment was felt against him and charges of treachery were frequent. Throughout the Labour movement he was bitterly criticised for his action in 1931, and I fully shared the prevailing sentiments towards him... During 1931 and earlier I had been one of his most severe critics. While deeply conscious of his powers as an orator and liking him personally, I thought he was woolly headed; and behind the scenes I left him in no doubt of my estimate of his executive or administrative skills. Yet not once did he show ill-feeling towards me. **[[w:Walter Citrine, 1st Baron Citrine|Walter Citrine]], ''Men and Work: An Autobiography'' (1964), p. 287 *MacDonald simply couldn't understand why he had been deserted by his former close friends. He felt that he had departed from none of his Socialist principles and had been true to the conceptions which had guided them through his political life. **[[w:Walter Citrine, 1st Baron Citrine|Walter Citrine]], ''Men and Work: An Autobiography'' (1964), p. 291 *The [[William Ewart Gladstone|Gladstone]] of Labour. **[[w:Patrick Dollan|Patrick Dollan]], ''New Leader'' (17 October 1924), quoted in Keith Middlemas, ''The Clydesiders: A Left Wing Struggle for Parliamentary Power'' (1965), p. 179 *MacDonald at Llandudno [in 1930] faced the test of a lifetime and, despite his assumed air of a weary Titan, it is hard to deny that he rose to it superbly. Even when his speech is read today – and MacDonald's speeches were very much intended to be heard, not read – its force is apparent. Picture the full scene with the presence, the gestures, the beautiful accent, the whole elegant swaying and lilting integration of voice, mind and body which is what a great MacDonald oration was, and it is not difficult to imagine the spell he cast. **[[Michael Foot]], ''Aneurin Bevan, Volume I'' [1962] (1975), p. 125 *MacDonald's temperament was temporising, calculating, cautious, gradualist to the fingertips... He had enormous resources of diligence and patience and endurance. These qualities together made him the expert negotiator and party manager which he undoubtedly was... [H]e also had great spasmodic gleams of imagination which enabled him to sweep aside the suffocating orthodoxies of the time. **[[Michael Foot]], ''Loyalists and Loners'' (1986), pp. 161-162 *[In 1931] MacDonald havered and hesitated and prevaricated; but he did not consciously set out to betray... Rather, he was utterly crushed by the choice he had desperately made... 1931 was a collective failure, not a personal failure... The scapegoat theory was an indecency as well as a falsehood... But neither he nor the other leaders had a right to run away in their different directions, and thereby open the gates wide to the enemy. No theory, evolutionary or revolutionary, or moderate, could justify that. **[[Michael Foot]], ''Loyalists and Loners'' (1986), pp. 165-166 * I thank you for your kind message sent as you crossed the frontier from the [[United States]] to [[Canada]]. I only express the feeling of the people of this country when I say that we were all grateful for the opportunity of manifesting our sincere appreciation of the spirit in which you came to us. The welcome you have received is an earnest of the gratification felt in this country that the peoples of Great Britain and the United States have been brought even closer together by your visit. Mrs. Hoover also joins me in thanking you and we both send you our best wishes for a pleasant visit in Canada and a good voyage home. ** [[Herbert Hoover]]; [https://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/node/207807 Exchange of Messages With Prime Minister MacDonald on His Departure from the United States Online], The American Presidency Project; *In the study there are photographs of Ll[oyd] G[eorge], Ramsay, and S[tanley] B[aldwin]. [[Stanley Baldwin|S. B.]] had learnt indirectly from one of the maids at [[w:Chequers|Chequers]] in Ramsay's time that on entering the study for the weekend he always put the Ll[oyd] G[eorge] photograph in the table drawer, "because it makes me see red". **[[w:Thomas Jones (civil servant)|Thomas Jones]], diary entry (14 April 1929), quoted in Thomas Jones, ''Whitehall Diary, Volume II: 1926–1930'', ed. Keith Middlemas (1969), p. 181 *I never thought Ramsay would willingly cooperate with the [[w:Liberal Party (UK)|Liberals]]. He hates them. He is a compound of vanity and vindictiveness. His snobbish instincts incline him to association with Tories. **[[David Lloyd George]], letter to [[C. P. Scott]] (19 October 1927), quoted in ''The Political Diaries of C. P. Scott, 1911–1928'', ed. Trevor Wilson (1970), p. 493 *He had sufficient conscience to bother him, but not sufficient to keep him straight. **[[David Lloyd George]] to [[w:Arthur Salter, 1st Baron Salter|Arthur Salter]] and [[w:A. L. Rowse|A. L. Rowse]] at dinner (29 August 1938), quoted in [[w:A. J. Sylvester|A. J. Sylvester]], ''Life With Lloyd George'' (1975), p. 216 *He was a much more considerable man than it is now the fashion to admit. He was one of the creators, if not the chief architect, of the Labour Party. He brought it from a small membership in the House of Commons to a position in which it was able to hold office, not without credit...on two separate occasions... His actions in 1931, by which he destroyed his own creation and doomed the Labour Party to a long eclipse, naturally caused intense bitterness among his old colleagues. But the formation of the National Government resulted from real devotion to what he sincerely believed to be the interests of the State... He cannot be blamed for accepting what was the unequivocal view of almost all the leading experts as to what had to be done... The only difference between MacDonald and those who deserted him is that he had the courage to follow the advice which he believed to be sound, while they shrank from the unpopularity of policies which they themselves admitted to be necessary... If in his last years MacDonald sank into a woolly confusion of mind and language, the achievements of his life, taken as a whole, are by no means negligible. **[[Harold Macmillan]], ''Winds of Change'' (1966), pp. 518-519 *In the House of Commons once he was not in very good form. He tended to hesitate and repeat himself. I'd never heard him quite so bad ever before. And [[w:James Maxton|Jimmy Maxton]] stood up and said: "Sit down, man, you're a bloody tragedy." You could have heard a pin drop; you could have heard a feather move. **[[w:Frank Markham|Frank Markham]] interviewed for the BBC One TV programme, ''[https://genome.ch.bbc.co.uk/97e4b0f628704a848632b61c02a0629d The Lost Leader: James Ramsay MacDonald]'' (17 September 1968), quoted in ''The Listener'', Volume 80 (1969), p. 441 *I was surprised when it was conveyed to me that he expected me to call on him... I was shown into the Cabinet room, where I found the Prime Minister alone. [[Victoria of the United Kingdom|Queen Victoria]] complained that Mr. Gladstone addressed her as if she were a public meeting. I know what she meant. Mr. MacDonald stood up and delivered a long discourse in his beautiful voice and with the phrasing of a practised orator. He began: "I am a layman from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, but I realise to the full the importance and value of religion in the community. It should be a force making for unity and a bulwark against the forces of disruption, which are more powerful to-day than is generally supposed." ... I listened attentively to this speech, storing up questions and points of disagreement for the time when my turn to speak should come. They were wasted; that time never came, for as soon as the Prime Minister had ceased his oration, Mr. Baldwin was shown in and I was shown out, having uttered perhaps two sentences during the whole interview. **[[w:Walter Matthews (priest)|Walter Matthews]], ''A History of St. Paul's Cathedral and the Men Associated with it'', quoted in ''The Times'' (23 May 1957), p. 6 *Ramsay MacDonald has a front-bench mind. Years ago I tried to get him taken into the Ministry, but others thought otherwise. **[[John Morley]]'s remarks to [[w:John Hartman Morgan|John Hartman Morgan]] (September 1914), quoted in J. H. Morgan, ''John, Viscount Morley: An Appreciation and Some Reminiscences'' (1924), p. 80 *On [5 August 1924] [[w:Maurice Hankey, 1st Baron Hankey|Hankey]] lunched with MacDonald and "took him to task about his unconcealed hatred of Lloyd George whom he always belittles". He stressed that the present conference "was simplicity itself compared with the Paris [Peace] Conference", that Lloyd George "had never allowed anyone to run him [MacDonald] down...when he was the underdog", but had described him as "a very considerable fellow fighting a lonely battle very pluckily". Hankey attributed MacDonald's attitude "to jealously of a much bigger man than he". **[[w:Stephen Roskill|Stephen Roskill]], ''Hankey, Man of Secrets: Volume II, 1919–1931'' (1972), p. 371 *MacDonald then burst out into a general denunciation of the whole crew of French politicians—underhand, grasping, dishonourable. I was entertained the other day, he said, at Versailles... There were present about 70 ex-premiers and would be premiers—everybody, he added, in France wants to be a premier, if it is only for four days. I was seated in the middle of the long side of the table so had a good view of all the men opposite. There wasn't a good face among them. Mme Herriot, a very nice person, was seated next to me. I said to her "can you tell me if there is an honest man here, besides your husband". "Yes", she replied, "I think there are two". **[[C. P. Scott]], diary entry (15 July 1924), quoted in ''The Political Diaries of C. P. Scott, 1911–1928'', ed. Trevor Wilson (1970), p. 460 *He reverted again and again to this dislike and distrust of the Liberals. He could get on with the Tories. They differed at times openly then forgot all about it and shook hands. They were gentlemen, but the Liberals were cads. **[[C. P. Scott]], diary entry (15 July 1924), quoted in ''The Political Diaries of C. P. Scott, 1911–1928'', ed. Trevor Wilson (1970), p. 460 *What a fine speech MacDonald made at Geneva—wise, far-seeing and courageous. I wish we had a man in our party who could have done the like. **[[C. P. Scott]], letter to [[w:Leonard Hobhouse|Leonard Trelawny Hobhouse]] (6 September 1924), quoted in ''The Political Diaries of C. P. Scott, 1911–1928'', ed. Trevor Wilson (1970), p. 464 *Ramsay MacDonald, who came to power in 1924; and thereafter, whether in or out of office, set his mark on British foreign policy for the next fifteen years. The MacDonald policy seemed to end in catastrophic failure with the outbreak of the second World war in 1939. His name is now despised; his very existence ignored. Yet MacDonald should be the patron-saint of every contemporary Western politician who favours cooperation with Germany. More than any other British statesman, MacDonald faced "the German problem" and attempted to solve it. Coercion was futile, as the occupation of the Ruhr had just shown... Only conciliation of Germany remained; and if conciliation were to be practised at all, it should be practised wholeheartedly. **[[A. J. P. Taylor]], ''[[w:The Origins of the Second World War|The Origins of the Second World War]]'' [1961] (1991), p. 79 *As one of the founders of the Parliamentary Labour Party, he was chiefly responsible for winning a place for Labour in the great world of politics and public opinion. If he had not possessed remarkable qualities, he would have irrevocably lost any influence that he ever possessed by his pacifist opposition first to the [[Second Boer War|South African War]], and subsequently to the [[World War I|War of 1914]]. Yet, within a short time of each of them, he was back again in public life, a leading figure and a politician of growing importance... Having become Prime Minister, he showed both tact and judgment. In particular, he succeeded in lowering the international temperature. The ''détente'' that followed the end of the [[George Curzon, 1st Marquess Curzon of Kedleston|Curzon]]–[[Raymond Poincaré|Poincaré]] wrangles gave him the chance of improving Anglo-French relations, whilst his love of tradition was a valuable antidote against the irresponsible anarchism of some of his followers. **[[Samuel Hoare, 1st Viscount Templewood|Viscount Templewood]], ''Nine Troubled Years'' (1954), p. 28 *[H]e was...the romanticist. As sensitive as Fergus McIvor in ''[[w:Waverley (novel)|Waverley]]'', his vivid imagination made him see all the difficulties that beset any course of action. If it sometimes confused his arguments, it none the less kept him responsive to the needs of the time, and gave him an engaging touch in all his dealings with his Ministerial colleagues. **[[Samuel Hoare, 1st Viscount Templewood|Viscount Templewood]], ''Nine Troubled Years'' (1954), p. 30 *It is to MacDonald's credit that he came out strongly against this one-sided attitude, and in an article of April 27 [1935] in the ''News Letter'', the weekly paper of the [[w:National Labour Organisation|National Labour Party]], severely criticised the Germans for their intransigent militarism, and the Germanophiles in this country for their blindness in swallowing the German case. **[[Samuel Hoare, 1st Viscount Templewood|Viscount Templewood]], ''Nine Troubled Years'' (1954), p. 132 *Ramsay was a simpler character than Baldwin, though he did not look it. He too was complicated, but not by S. B.'s desire to seem plain. A 'blend of cosmopolitan distinction and Scottish sense', [[Harold Nicolson]] called him, and no greater contrast with his predecessor could have been penned... [T]he key to him was the commonest in human nature&mdash;illusion, our stick and carrot. He had an overdose of incentive and I wished him joy of it, though joy he never got... Ramsay really was persuaded with [[H. G. Wells]] that 'our true nationality is mankind'... He really did believe that men were naturally good, that they could be brought into line though they looked like horses at a starting-gate for ever facing opposite ways and savaging each other. He had faith in every panacea... He really did hope that politics were a glittering but not endless adventure, especially in foreign affairs where he trusted to magic solutions round green baize... He really did believe that the grumpy wurrld found felicity by its firesides&mdash;he overdid firesides&mdash;and that he could make it happier still by catching it there. He really did persuade himself, especially on his feet, that we have some appointment with a star, and would rise to it by better ways than class-war, which he called 'pre-socialist and pre-scientific'... In short and in his own words he held that we were eternally moving in a surge toward righteousness... [He was] nearer to the Liberals than of his extremists. He was less absorbed in Socialism than in international events. **[[w:Robert Vansittart, 1st Baron Vansittart|Lord Vansittart]], ''The Mist Procession'' (1958), pp. 373-375 *[I]n the slums of the manufacturing towns and in the hovels of the countryside he has become a legendary being—the personification of all that thousands of downtrodden men and women hope and dream and desire. Like [[Lenin]]...he is the focus of the mute hopes of a whole class. **[[w:Egon Ranshofen-Wertheimer|Egon Wertheimer]], ''Portrait of the Labour Party'' (1929), pp. 176-177 *[T]he Labour Party was always receptive...to rebels against the whole outlook of a leadership which they always accused of lacking determination or vigour or Socialist principles. These systematic critics...[included] the fervent and impatient idealists... Their outlook reflected the old radical, provincial, Nonconformist tendency to see Westminster politicians as willing victims of the aristocratic, or the parliamentary, or the Whitehall embrace. All those suspicions were so stimulated by the trauma of 1931 that even a generation later the most influential figure in the Labour Movement was said to be the ghost of Ramsay MacDonald. **[[w:Philip Maynard Williams|Philip Williams]], ''Hugh Gaitskell'' (1979), pp. 293-294 *We commemorate a man, a leader, who in the years of creation and achievement towered above his contemporaries in figure and manner, in voice and power, who worked and fought, and who suffered—as they all suffered who dared to preach socialism in an unreceptive and hostile age. He was a man who had vision, and dared all in those years to make that vision a reality; a man who inspired affection in his associates as in his own domestic circle, and who, daring all, created a lasting and durable political instrument which today 60 years after its first political success, provides the Government of this country and in so providing owes more than many are prepared to admit to the young Ramsay MacDonald. **[[Harold Wilson]], speech at a luncheon in the House of Commons to commemorate the centenary of Ramsay MacDonald's birth (12 October 1966), quoted in ''The Times'' (13 October 1966), p. 12 *Malcolm MacDonald, son of the Labour Prime Minister, Ramsay MacDonald, invited Ralph and me to meet his father and spend the night at Chequers. We met the Prime Minister along the road as he was taking his constitutional walk in his plus-fours, his scarf, his cap, his pipe and walking stick, a typical country squire, the last person to look like a leader of the Labour Party. My first impression was of a gentleman of great dignity, extremely conscious of the burden of premiership, with a noble countenance which was not without humour. The first part of the evening was somewhat restrained. But after dinner we went to the famous historical Long Room for coffee, and after viewing the original Cromwellian death mask and other historical objects we got down to a cosy chat. I told him that since my first visit there was a great deal of chance for the better. In 1921 I had seen much poverty in London, grey-haired old ladies sleeping on the Thames Embankment, but now those old lades were gone; no more were derelicts sleeping there. The shops looked well stocked and the children well shod, and that, surely, must be to the credit of the Labour Government. He wore an inscrutable expression and let me go on without interruption. I asked him if the Labour Government, which I understood to be a socialist government, had the power to alter basically the constitution of the country. His eyes twinkled and he replied humourously: ‘It should do, but that is the paradox of British politics: the moment one appropriates power one becomes impotent.’ He reflected a moment, then told the story of his being first called to Buckingham Palace as Prime Minister. Said His Majesty, greeting him cordially: ‘Well, what are you socialists going to do about me?” The Prime Minister laughed and said: ‘Nothing but try to serve Your Majesty and the country’s best interest.’ **[[Charlie Chaplin]] was here reflecting on meeting Ramsay MacDonald, as quoted in ''Charlie Chaplin My Autobiography'', Reprinted Edition 1973, P.337-338. ==External links== {{wikipedia}} {{wikisource author}} *[http://pubs.socialistreviewindex.org.uk/sr203/mcdonald.htm A left-wing criticism of MacDonald's career] Socialist Review *[http://www.number10.gov.uk/history-and-tour/prime-ministers-in-history/james-ramsay-macdonald More about Ramsay MacDonald] Prime Minister's Office *[http://www.musicandmen.com Biographical website dedicated to Harriet Cohen] MacDonald was a close friend of hers {{DEFAULTSORT:MacDonald, Ramsay}} [[Category:Prime Ministers of the United Kingdom]] [[Category:Academics from the United Kingdom]] [[Category:Politicians from Scotland]] [[Category:1866 births]] [[Category:1937 deaths]] [[Category:Labour Party (UK) politicians]] [[Category:Presbyterians]] [[Category:Humanists]] [[Category:Non-fiction authors from Scotland]] [[Category:Fellows of the Royal Society]] [[Category:Leaders of the Opposition (United Kingdom)]] [[Category:Leaders of the House of Commons (United Kingdom)]] pqi8nf34m9bxvql2tqlt6upjcqlem9c 0 156118 3942214 3920806 2026-05-17T23:49:54Z ~2026-29836-83 3323808 /* Team-A-Rooney [1.2] */ 3942214 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Liv and Maddie|Liv and Maddie]]''''' is an American comedy television series created by John Beck and Ron Hart and produced by [[w:It's a Laugh Productions|It's a Laugh Productions]] for [[w:Disney Channel|Disney Channel]]. == Season 1 == === ''Twin-A-Rooney'' [1.1] === :'''Maddie''': Mom, snack update. Where's Liv's favorite dip? :'''Joey''': You mean this dip? ''[Joey and Parker are eating the dip]'' :'''Maddie''': You two are eating the dip?! This is Wisconsin, you can't welcome people home without dip! You two are officially ''banned'' from the welcome home zone! <hr width=50%> :'''Joey''': Let's put this TV in our room. :'''Parker''': But Mom and Dad said that we can't have a TV in our room. :'''Joey''': Mom and Dad who? <hr width=50%> :'''Maddie''': I am so glad you're home there is something I have been dying to talk to you about. :'''Liv''': [gasps] This is about a boy! :'''Maddie''': How do you know that? :'''Liv''': When you get nervous you still play with that charm bracelet that I gave you. Anyway, back to the boy. Is he cute? :'''Maddie''': Are you nosy and sparkly? :'''Liv''': Ah! Then he is cute! === ''Team-A-Rooney'' [1.2] == :'''Pete''': Parker, what do you want in your lunch? Apple or banana? :'''Parker''': Keep going until you get to cupcake! :'''Maddie''': [confessional] Basketball is my life and being named captain of the team was huge for me! And I might have played it cool in front of the girls on the team, but I also may have gone home and squealed in my closet. Eee! Liv [confessional] While I was away, Maddie got to be really good friends with her basketball teammates. Sweet girls, but they're all kind of like the before in a makeover show. What? It means they have potential! :'''Liv''': Ooh, fabosh! We are now officially ready for step two. :'''Maddie''': Remind me what step two is again. === ''Sleep-A-Rooney'' [1.3] === :'''Maddie''': Yeah, this game actually gets really intense. Mom banned us from playing in the living room because one time, Parker rolled a ten and on his ninth cartwheel knocked over Great-Gran's urn. :'''Parker''': But her memory still lives on. In the dirt-vac. :'''Liv''': [confessional] Huh, so I missed out on getting to know Parker and I think I might have missed a funeral. Ahaha, I thought Great-Gran was still with us. Oops. <hr width=50%> :'''Liv''': OK, I know we weren't all fans of Duck Duck Dinosaur, but there is something waiting for you outside that is going to blow your ten-year-old minds! :'''Evan''': I'm nine. <hr width=50%> :'''Willow''': Madison! :'''Maddie''': Fine! === ''Steal-a-Rooney'' [1.4] === :'''Liv''': You look interesting, I'm Liv. :'''Kylie''': (leaves) :'''Liv''': But I didn't get your name. :'''Maddie''': (enters room) Did I just see you talk to Kylie? :'''Liv''': Oh, that's what her name is. <hr width=50%> :'''Joey''': The Z-Phone 620Q. It's ruined. :'''Manager''': Counter life's not for you. Back to the Muck bucket. :'''Joey''': Can I still wear the cape? :'''Manager''': That's a no-no, Jo-Jo. === ''Kang-a-Rooney'' [1.5] === :'''Diggie''': Sup, Rooney? :'''Maddie''': Sup, Diggie? :'''Diggie''': Got your costume ready for Screamfest? :'''Maddie''': You know I do. I got this really cool knight costume and it is going to melt your face off! :'''Diggie''': Sweet. Hey I'll go as that too then, maybe we could win the couples' costume contest? :'''Maddie''': Yeah, okay... :'''Diggie''': Er, and you know when I mean couple I mean the contest category and... well you get it. <hr width=50%> :'''Diggie''': and :'''Maddie''': WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? :'''Maddie''': Er, I'm a knight. We said we were gonna be knights. :'''Diggie''': Oh, I thought you meant like 'the night'. :'''Maddie''': Are you kidding? We're never going to be able to enter the couples' contest now. :'''Diggie''': No, sure we can. We're a couple of k/nights! Hah. :'''Maddie''': Yep, that is us. A couple, haha, of k/nights. Hah, if there was one more of us we'd be a few! But there's not because we're a couple of k/nights! :'''Lemur''': ''[off-screen]'' I’m ready to go look for spaghetti. :'''Maddie''': What was that sound? Was it ‘Liv’ or ‘Maddie’?! :'''Diggie''': It was one of the Blooket Blooks! :'''Maddie''': No way! It wasn’t me either! It was…''[Lemur hops up and pulls on her outfit as Maddie starts screaming in fear, as Maddie stops, everyone gathers around Lemur]'' OKAY!!! Okay, stop! '''Liv''': Maddie, there’s a Blooket Blook on your back! And it’s sleeping! :'''Maddie''': Help me! HELP ME NOWWWW! === ''Skate-a-Rooney'' [1.6] === :'''Maddie''': Liv, you do know that being in a skateboarding movie doesn't actually qualify you to judge skateboarders. :'''Liv''': Well, the good people at Flip Kick magazine think differently. <hr width=50%> :'''Karen''': In between seasons of (sings) "Sing It Loud!" (back to normal) Liv starred in a movie called "The Skateboard Bandit." :'''Pete''': (doing his best Don Lafontaine imitation) A girl. A bag of loot. A skateboard. She'll take your money, and steal your heart. === ''Dodge-a-Rooney'' [1.7] === :'''Maddie''': Hi mom, I had the best day during community center, helping people feels so great. :'''Karen''': Wow, oh Maddie I feel so glad, would you help me set the table? :'''Maddie''': Ugh I'm so tired. <hr width=50%> :'''Parker''': My scooter broke. It was the weirdest thing, me and Cooper and Isaac and Kolton Jack and Richie and Stevie and Evan were riding on it and it just snapped. === ''Brain-a-Rooney'' [1.8] === :'''Artie''': I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the deafening sound of my own epicness, BOOM! :'''Joey''': Hey! That's my line! :'''Artie''': But, I make it work. <hr width=50%> :'''Maddie''': But that's because I was trying to get her to stop being a wack-a-doo! Have you never had to look into the eyes of a wack-a-doo?!? :'''Willow''': Not until right now! === ''Sweet 16-a-Rooney'' [1.9] === :'''Diggie''': Well, I'm in. I want Maddie's sweet 16 to be as amazing as it can be. :'''Pete''': Careful. :'''Diggie''': Right, sorry. <hr width=50%> :'''Diggie''': Don't worry, birthday girl, your hero's here. :'''Maddie''': [takes the plug out] Hey, superhero, plug's right here. === ''Fa-La-La-a-Rooney'' [1.10] === :'''Joey''': The only reason I did this Santa Stand was so that I could pay off your Christmas present. [Joey takes out helicopter] I talked Mom out of getting you that helicopter because I already got it for you. :'''Parker''': I'm sorry, Munch, I had no idea you cared. :'''Joey''': Me either, I guess it's just the Christmas spirit. <hr width=50%> :'''Joey''': Parker, Dad, come quick before it stops! :'''Pete''': What is it, son? :'''Parker''': Is it snowing on Christmas? :'''Joey''': Better! :'''Pete''': ...I got her those for Christmas. === ''Switch-a-Rooney'' [1.11] === :'''Maddie''': Sup, Diggie? :'''Diggie''': Sup, Rooney? :'''Maddie''': Sup with your hair? You did not get a hair cut just because my dad told you to? :'''Diggie''': No, not at all... I totally needed a trim - do you think he'll like it? :'''Maddie''': Diggie, you can't let him push you around like this. I mean, your hair was a hot mess but that's not the point. :'''Diggie''': I can't help it okay? I want him to like me, he's your dad and you and me are... whatever we are. :'''Maddie''': Totally, whatever... um. You just need to find something that you and my dad will like and bond over that. :'''Diggie''': Oh yeah, okay great let's see. He likes growling at me! :'''Maddie''': Oh, you know what else he likes? Barbecuing. :'''Diggie''': Grilling sure beats growling. And if he starts to like me I can help you prep for you driver's test. :'''Maddie''': Aw, that's so sweet. <hr width=50%> :'''Diggie''': Here we are: a couple of dudes getting ready to do some chilling and grilling. Are you okay that I just called you a dude? :'''Pete''': Relax, we're barbecuing. Everybody's a dude. :'''Diggie''': Okay, let's do this. [Diggie opens the barbecue] :'''Pete''': Absolutely! [Pete closes the barbecue] First I need you to do a few things. :'''Diggie''': Hit me, whatever you want. Shoot the corn? Season the meat? :'''Pete''': Mow the lawn. :'''Diggie''': Um, what? :'''Pete''': And clean the gutters, rotate my tires, groat the tub and empty the dishwasher. Dude... :'''Diggie''': What has that have to do with barbecuing?- :'''Pete''': I thought you came here to learn? :'''Diggie''': Let me go get the lawnmower. === ''Dump-a-Rooney'' [1.12] === :'''Maddie''': I just don't think it's going to work out. :'''Pete''': But we were so good together, you and me. :'''Maddie''': But there's someone else <hr width=50%> :'''Parker''': (blows whistle) Traveling! :'''Pete''': Traveling? :'''Parker''': Yeah those tiny shorts are traveling right up your butt. === ''Move-a-Rooney'' [1.13] === :'''Diggie''': You're gonna move away without saying bye? :'''Maddie''': I was going to but I got really hurt when you blew me off after reading my note. :'''Diggie''': What note? :'''Maddie''': The one I wrote on the basketball? Like one does when one is terrified of getting hurt, like one did. :'''Diggie''': I must have smudged it with my basketball pig sweat. What did it say? :'''Maddie''': I like you Diggie. :'''Diggie''': I like you too Maddie (Maddie blushes) <hr width=50%> :'''Diggie''': So looks like you're staying. We said some things. :'''Maddie''': We sure did. :'''Diggie''': I guess things will be different from now on. :'''Maddie''': Yeah I guess. So sup? :'''Diggie''': Stuff. :'''Maddie''': Bam what? (They smile at each other) === ''Slump-A-Rooney'' [1.14] === :'''Maddie''': Okay, Willow. Ready? Focus. Fire it at me, right here. :''(Willow throws ball at a pot instead and breaks it by accident)'' :'''Maddie''': Perfect if we were playing smash that pot. Willow, you've been in a slump for days. :'''Willow''': I can't concentrate. <hr width=50%> :'''Karen''': Okay so what is going on with you and Joey? :'''Willow''': Nothing, that's the problem. It's spring time, love is in the air, birds are chirping but all I can think about is why my sweet little Joey bird at me! :'''Maddie''': Okay, but what does Joey have to do with your pitching? :'''Willow''': I can't concentrate. When I pitch, I look directly at you but every time I look at you, all I see is Joey. === ''Moms-A-Rooney'' [1.15] === :'''Liv''': Ooh! A package! Wait, what's in it? A new blouse? A new bag? Underwear that doesn't go up to your waist? :'''Karen''': It is an antique washboard. Isn't she a beauty? <hr width=50%> :'''Maddie''': (confessional) Mom, I can see and hear you. :'''Karen''': Mhm. === ''Shoe-a-Rooney'' [1.16] === :'''Liv''': ''[comes home and sees Maddie wearing her new shoes, then gasps]'' :'''Maddie''': ''[laughs nervously]'' Hey, Liv. What are you doing here? :'''Liv''': I'm here to take you back to the game. But what is all of this? :'''Maddie''': Oh, you were so right, I *LOVE* these shoes! ''[imitates explosion]'' :'''Liv''': Oh, yeah, well, we can talk about that later. Just kick those off and we'll get you back to the game. :'''Maddie''': ''[scoffs]'' I'm not going back to that game! :'''Liv''': ''[gasps]'' Who are you?! :'''Maddie''': ''[firmly]'' I am a shoe-loving sparkly girl! Do you wanna play super model with me? :'''Liv''': '''NO, I DON'T!!! YOU'VE FALLEN ''THROUGH WHAT WAS WRONG!''''' === ''Howl-a-Rooney'' [1.17] === :'''Joey''': ''[confessional]'' ''Space Werewolves'' is the greatest sci-fi graphic novel ever. It is the epic tale of Tristan Lycanth; Half-wolf, half-human, and his battle to save his planet. It is like ''[[Star Wars]]'' and ''[[Lord of the Rings]]'' had a baby, and then ''[[The Avengers]]'' adopted it. === ''Flashback-A-Rooney'' [1.18] === :'''Karen''': Here is Aunt Dina's number in case you need to get a hold of us in LA. Keep it somewhere safe. :'''Pete''': Got it. (gives address card to Maddie) === ''BFF-a-Rooney'' [1.19] === :'''South''': There's my BFFWLIWN! :'''Maddie''': What?!? :'''Liv''': and :'''South''': Best Friend Forever Who Lives In Wisconsin Now! <hr width=50%> :'''Diggie''': MADDIE ROONEY IS MY GIRLFRIEND!!!! <hr width=50%> :'''Maddie''': Tell her to stay away from my friend..... boy? :'''Liv''': Friendboy?! === ''Song-a-Rooney'' [1.20] === :'''Pete''': We met with the music industry's top managers. We all decided to hire Becki Bickelhoff. She represents the biggest names in music today. :'''Karen''': We've never heard of any of them. But to be fair, the last record we bought was... a record. <hr width=50%> :'''Maddie''': It's just that, you've been working so much, and I'm going to be leaving for the Junior Olympics basketball soon. :'''Diggie''': Don't remind me. I already miss you. :'''Stains''': Aww. Love. BLEAGH! === ''Space-Werewolf-A-Rooney'' [1.21] === :'''Vic''': Well, it's nice to have fans on the set. So what do you think of the scene, boys? :'''Parker''': I think you're ruining the greatest story ever told! :'''Joey''': This is the most action-packed moment in the graphic novel, and you're going to have her skip over a puddle and pose for pictures? This is an abomination! :'''Parker''': I have no idea what that word means, but if it means... (blows a raspberry and gives a thumbs down gesture) then I concur! <hr width=50%> :'''Liv''': [confessional] What did I just say? All my own stunts? The most dangerous thing I've ever had to do on [singing] Sing It Loud [back to normal] was sing loud! <hr width=50%> :'''Maddie''': I'm a jock. (chuckles), and I thought I was invincible. But I guess I'm not. And that's scary. <hr width=50%> :'''Liv''': ''[repeated line, as Tristan Lycanth]'' You mess with the wolf, you get the howl. ''[howls like a wolf]'' == Season 2 == === ''Premiere-A-Rooney'' [2.1] === === ''Pottery-A-Rooney'' [2.2] === Maddie can't play basketball because of her knee so she trys pottery. === ''Helgaween-A-Rooney'' [2.3] === :'''Maddie''': Ohh, that stupid amulet made us triplets!! It's supposed to be Liv and Maddie! Not Liv and Maddie and...Helga!! === ''Kathy Kan-A-Rooney'' [2.4] === :'''Kathy Kan''': Who can? Kathy Kan can! :'''Liv''': Who lives? Livy Liv lives. <hr width=50%> :'''Kathy Kan''': Okay, I'm totally in this moment, but how does your makeup look so perfect after falling through the ceiling? :'''Liv''': [giggles] Oh, Kathy... there are just some secrets that even friends don't share. <hr width=50%> :'''Liv''': Well, then maybe we can just be real-girl normal together. :'''Kathy Kan''': Do you know how to do that? :'''Liv''' : No, I have no idea. Oh, but you know what? We can ask Maddie. :'''Kathy Kan''': Okay. :'''Liv''': Yeah. :'''Maddie''': [pounds on door] [shouts] Joey, get back out here right now and give me a rematch before I rip your eyebrows off and feed them to you! :'''Liv''': Yeah, so maybe we won't ask Maddie. :'''Kathy Kan''': Okay! === ''Match-A-Rooney'' [2.5] === :'''Joey''': (to Emily, while in the prank-proof box) Please. You didn't really want to go to the dance with me, and this was all an elaborate ruse to prank me. Well, the ruse is on yous. (looks puzzled, but then shrugs and nods) :'''Emily''': Who's trying to prank you? :'''Joey''': You, and the rest of the snooty, yet beautiful people who think you own the school. Well, let me tell you something, Emily. You may be cute, popular and on the honor roll, but I have seen your cartwheels, and they are inconsistent at best! (Emily gasps) === ''Hoops-A-Rooney'' [2.6] === :'''Liv''': Bam- :'''Maddie''': Ah, that is still mine! <hr width=50%> :'''Becki''': What?! But I told the producers that I've seen your Trophies and how you lead your team to the state Fi- it was the other twin, wasn't it? === ''New Year's Eve-A-Rooney'' [2.7] === While Liv co-hosts and performs at a party, Maddie learns of a secret that causes her to question her relationship with Diggie. === ''Bro-Cave-A-Rooney'' [2.8] === Joey and Parker's room is so filthy even they can't stand it and they want the girls to clean it. Liv and Maddie lose a bet and are forced to spend the night in the room. === ''Upcycle-A-Rooney'' [2.9] === Maddie is devastated when she loses her twin charm bracelet that Liv had given her but when Liv makes her feel guilty, Maddie decides to teach her a lesson. Meanwhile, Joey's feelings are hurt when Parker gets a new cool older brother. === ''Rate-A-Rooney'' [2.10] === The boys invent a rating system for how attractive girls are, and Liv writes a song to show that real beauty comes from within. === ''Detention-A-Rooney'' [2.11] === In order to get out of a mother/son pageant, Parker intentionally gets up to mischief to get detention. Meanwhile, Pete plays nurse when Liv and Maddie get sick at the same time. === ''Muffler-A-Rooney'' [2.12] === Maddie prepares for her game but is nervous about her knee. Liv films a sequel to a commercial she was in when she was six years old. == Season 3 == === ''Meatball-a-Rooney'' [3.7] === Willow gets a scholarship Maddie wanted, and they fight. Joey accidentally breaks Liv's toe and tries to make things better, but ends up making it even worse... === ''Californi-A-Rooney'' [3.20] === :''[Liv and Maddie hug.]'' :'''Maddie''': ''[Sobbing]'' I missed you so much. :'''Liv''': ''[Finishes hugging her sister, sobbing]'' Maddie&ndash; you just followed your heart, and I'm so sorry that I got so upset about that. :'''Maddie''': ''I'm'' sorry. I should have at least talked to you before I just decided to come out here. :'''Liv''': I mean, I didn't even say goodbye to you. :'''Maddie''': Okay, yeah, you win, you were the bigger jerk. :''[Both sisters laugh.]'' :'''Liv''': Thank you. Do you forgive me? :'''Maddie''': Liv, of course I forgive you. Sisters by chance&ndash; :'''Liv''': Friends by choice. :''[Liv and Maddie hug again.]'' == Season 4 == === ''Standup-a-Rooney'' [4.7] === Joey is invited to perform stand-up comedy at a local restaurant; Parker is unsure if he asked a classmate to be his partner in a science competition or his date to a school dance. == External links == {{wikipedia}} * {{Official website|http://disneychannel.disney.com/liv-and-maddie}} * {{IMDb title|2794380}} [[Category:2010s American comedy TV shows]] [[Category:Cancelled shows]] [[Category:Disney Channel shows]] [[Category:Disney Channel sitcoms]] o7yym04jbb7xsrrj1migtcubx7wvff1 0 157227 3942232 3941032 2026-05-18T01:15:42Z ~2026-29635-10 3323824 3942232 wikitext text/x-wiki ---- {{Pokémon header}} ---- <br/> This is a list of episodes in '''''Pokémon: Indigo League''''', the first season of the Pokémon animated series (ポケットモンスター Poketto Monsutā?, Pokét Monsters), covering the adventures of the series protagonist Ash Ketchum and his friends Pikachu, Misty and Brock on the way to the Indigo Plateau. == Pokémon: I Choose You! == :''[First lines. The opening cutscene of Pokémon Red and Blue (Red and Green in Japan) plays, portraying a battle between a Gengar and a Nidorino. Near the end, the cutscene transitions from the Game Boy's 8-bit graphics to vivid cel animation, revealing the battle to be happening in a packed stadium.]'' :'''Stadium Announcer''': And Nidorino begins the battle with a Horn Attack! Oh, but Gengar bounces right back, ''[Gengar uses Hypnosis]'' and there it is, the Hypnosis Power of Gengar! This could be the end of Nidorino. ''[Nidorino gets recalled by his trainer]'' Wait, the trainer recalled Nidorino. Which Pokémon will he use now? ''[the trainer throws a green and white Poké ball, Gengar steps back and out comes an Onix]'' Oh, it's Onix! Now this giant Pokémon's on the attack. ''[the camera pulls back to reveal that the battle is on television]'' Ho-ho, but Gengar jumps aside! Gengar is moving beautifully today. Its training is top-notch, no doubt about it! :''[As the commentary on TV continues, a spikey haired boy named Ash Ketchum puts on a green fingerless glove.]'' :'''Ash''': ''[in his mind]'' Yes, I am Ash. ''[the camera cuts to him in his room, He wore a red and white cap with a dark green L like symbol and a blue and white buttoned short sleeved shirt under a dark slate gray shirt, and light blue cuffed jeans]'' :'''Narrator''': Ash Ketchum is a boy from Pallet Town. :''[We see a Poliwag-style pencil sharpener, a Clefairy-shaped piggy bank and two Zubats hanging on a hanger. We then see the boy, Ash Ketchum, putting his white trainers on]'' :'''Ash Ketchum''': ''[speaks]'' And now that I'm 10, I can finally get my Pokémon license. :''[The camera shows a poster with a Squirtle, a Bulbasaur and a Charmander]'' :'''Narrator''': 10-year-olds can get a beginner Pokémon from Professor Oak, the town's Pokémon expert. :'''Ash Ketchum''': ''[puts on his hat, then takes it off]'' I will journey to gain the wisdom of Pokémon training, ''[picks up a Voltorb alarm clock]'' and I hereby declare to the Pokémon of the world; I will be a Pokémon Master. Pokémon Master! That is what I'll- :'''Delia''': ''[offscreen]'' Ash, get to bed! ''[Ash yelps and flings the Voltorb alarm clock toward her, who catches it and shows Ash the time]'' It's 11:00, and you should be asleep! :'''Ash''': But tomorrow, I begin my Pokémon journey. I can't even sleep. :'''Delia''': Well, if you can't sleep, at least get ready for tomorrow, so, here, watch this. ''[changes channels on Ash's television]'' :'''Professor Oak''': ''[on TV]'' Good evening, Pallet, tomorrow's the big day for the newest class of Pokémon students. I'd like to introduce you to Bulbasaur, Charmander and Squirtle. Each one is available for new trainees. Which one shall you choose? :'''Delia''': Go to bed when this is done. :'''Ash''': ''[seeing the commercial]'' Alright, I'm going. :'''Delia''': And change into your pajamas, OK? ''[closes the door]'' :'''Professor Oak''': ''[on TV]'' ...character to help them develop their special powers. :'''Ash''': ''I'm going.'' :''[Cut to title card]'' :'''Ash''' ''[narrating]'' "Pokémon, I Choose You!" <hr width=50%> :'''Delia''': I packed your sneakers and jeans, nice clean shirts and underwear, and your favorite snacks, and some hot chocolate in case you want something hot, but be careful not to burn yourself. And a pair of rubber gloves to do your laundry and a new clothesline to hang it out to dry, and- :'''Ash''': Mom, you are embarrassing me, in front of all these people! Don't you know, I'm a big kid now? Pokémon Trainers can take care of themselves. <hr width=50%> :'''Ash''': Hey! Get away from there! ''[angrily groans]'' :''[A Rattata runs away from Ash's backpack]'' :'''Pokédex''': A forest Pokémon: Rattata. It likes cheese, nuts, fruits, and berries. :'''Ash''': Yeah, but this isn't a forest. It's an open field! :'''Pokédex''': It also comes out into open fields to steal food from ''stupid'' travellers. :'''Ash''': That means I'm stupid...? :''[Pikachu laughs hysterically from a tree branch]'' <hr width=50%> :''[Ash and Pikachu are being chased by a flock of Spearow. He steals the bicycle of a young girl, later known as Misty, to flee the Spearow, but he eventually rides off a cliff, falling off of the bike, with the Spearow still in hot pursuit. Ash then persuades Pikachu, who became weak after the trip, to enter his Poké Ball, but to no avail. This gives Ash no choice but to muster up the guts to take on the Spearow himself]'' :'''Ash''': Spearows, do you know who I am? I am Ash, from the town of Pallet. I'm destined to be the world's number-one Pokémon Master. I can't be defeated by the likes of you. ''[Pikachu, hearing Ash's speech, starts to pay attention to his Trainer's bravery as he continues on]'' I'm going to capture and defeat you all. You hear me? ''[the Spearow hone-in on Ash in the final moments before their attack, leading him to plead one last time for Pikachu's safety]'' '''[[w:Pikachu|Pikachu]]''', go inside the Poké Ball; it's the only way. ''[Pikachu looks down at the Poké Ball, and then back at him. A lightning bolt strikes behind the Spearow]'' '''''Come and get me!''''' ''[as the Spearow charge in toward him, Pikachu starts running toward him, climbing onto his shoulder, and jumping off Ash's shoulder to counter the Spearow]'' Whoa! :'''Pikachu''': ''[a lightning bolt strikes him]'' ''Pika-'''CHU!''''' :'''Ash''': '''''WHOA!''''' :''[He releases a powerful Thunder Shock, dispersing the Spearow and creating a large explosion in the area]'' <hr width=50%> :''[Last lines; In the aftermath of Pikachu's act of defense toward Ash, the rainy night turns into a sunny morning. The camera shows Misty's bike that Ash took to escape the Spearow flock, revealing that said bike was destroyed by Pikachu's Thunder Shock, and the camera pan toward an unconscious Ash and Pikachu, and the two of them slowly wake up]'' :'''Pikachu''': ''[weakly]'' '''[[w:Pikachu|Pikachu]]'''. :'''Ash''': ''[breathes a sigh of relief]'' Well, we beat 'em. :'''Pikachu''': ''[in agreement]'' Chu. :''[In the sky, a large golden bird-like Pokémon, which later was revealed as the Legendary Pokémon Ho-Oh, cries out as it flies over Ash and Pikachu as a sign of amazing things to come]'' :'''Ash''': Huh? ''[notices what he doesn't yet know to be Ho-Oh as it flies off towards a rainbow, leaving a trail of sparkles]'' What's that? :'''Pokédex''': There is no data. There are still Pokémon yet to be identified. :''[Ho-Oh is seen one last time flying off into the bright blue sky]'' :'''Narrator''': This is just the beginning of the amazing adventures of Ash and '''[[w:Pikachu|Pikachu]]'''. Their journey is destined to be packed with non-stop action, millions of laughs, heart-pounding perils, and endless excitement. ''[Ash, holding Pikachu, stops at the top of a hill. Pikachu then licks Ash's face, which moves him to near tears. However, he holds them in, as he realizes he must get to a Pokémon Center to heal Pikachu's wounds as soon as possible]'' Together, they'll encounter fantastic friends, evil enemies and meet creatures beyond their wildest imagination, and as their story unfolds, we'll unlock the magic and mystery of a most wondrous place: '''[[w:Pokémon|the incredible world of Pokémon]]'''! ''[The screen shrinks to the left, then stops moving. The text "TO BE CONTINUED" appears.]'' == Pokémon Emergency! == :''[The episode begins with a recap of the previous episode, starting with Ash declaring his ambitions of becoming a Pokémon Master over a background set of green speed lines]'' :'''Ash''': That's right! I declare to the Pokémon of the world. I will be the greatest Pokémon Trainer. The greatest Pokémon Master...of all time! :'''Narrator''': Last time, Ash, our hero from Pallet, chose Pikachu, a Pokémon who was not too thrilled with its new trainer. Soon, they found themselves fighting off a flock of fearsome Spearows. Pikachu saved the day with its amazing Thunder Shock, but the electrifying encounter left Pikachu weak and his fate in Ash's hands. :'''Ash''': We...beat 'em. :'''Pikachu''': ''[weakly]'' Chu. :''[The recap ends and the scene changes to the second episode's title card]'' :'''Ash''': ''[voiceover]'' Pokémon Emergency! :''[We then cut to Viridian City in a sunset. Then, we hear the voice of a female police officer, named Officer Jenny, making an announcement about potential thieves in the area.]'' :'''Officer Jenny''': Attention, citizens of Viridian City! Attention, citizens of Viridian City! We have reports of possible Pokémon thieves in our area! Be on the lookout for suspicious looking strangers! Repeat: Be on the lookout for suspicious looking - Huh? ''[sees Ash rushing Pikachu to the Pokémon Center.]'' Speak of the Devil! ''[grabs Ash by the shirt collar to stop him]'' Hold it! And just where do you think you're going with that Pokémon, young man? :'''Ash''': ''[angrily]'' It's my Pokémon and its hurt! And I gotta get it to the hospital right away! :'''Officer Jenny''': Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you might be stealing it. Just show me your ID and you can go. :'''Ash''': ''[surprised]'' ID? Ugh... I don't have any. You see, we just came here from Pallet and we- :'''Officer Jenny''': You know, you're the fourth person I've seen today from Pallet Town. :'''Ash''': The fourth? Oh, that means Gary Oak's here already. :'''Officer Jenny''': It's very unusual for someone to carry a Pokémon in his arms and not in a Pokéball. How do I know you didn't steal that Pokémon, especially since you don't have any identification? :'''Ash''': Please let me through. I wouldn't steal a Pokémon, and I've got to get Pikachu to the hospital. Please, miss. :'''Officer Jenny''': ''[notices something in Ash's pocket]'' Hey, what's that in your pocket? :'''Ash''': What? ''[takes out his Pokédex]'' Oh, this? :'''Officer Jenny''': ''[swipes the Pokédex from Ash]'' This is perfect! A Pokédex! This will solve our problem! ''[presses some buttons in Ash's Pokédex]'' Let's see if you're the real deal... :'''Dexter''': I'm Dexter, a Pokédex programmed by Professor Oak for Pokémon Trainer Ash Ketchum of the town of Pallet. My function is to provide Ash with information and advice regarding Pokémon and their training. If lost or stolen, I cannot be replaced. :'''Ash''': Oh, my Pokédex. I didn't realize it was also my ID. Can I take Pikachu to the Pokémon Center now? :'''Officer Jenny''': I'll get you there in no time at all. ''[They mount on board her motorcycle.]'' Sit back, hold on and don't yell. :''[She revs her engine and they take off to the Pokémon Center, leaving a cloud of dust.]'' :'''Ash''': '''WHOA!''' :''[Meanwhile, caught in the dust is Misty, who is holding her charred bicycle and is not happy with Ash for taking it]'' :'''Misty''': ''[coughing]'' Hey, what's the big idea?! Ugh, come back here! ''[runs after Ash with her burnt bike]'' :''[A hook grabs hold of the Wanted poster on its bottom right corner and removes it from the noticeboard. Then, we notice that the hook is coming from a Meowth balloon controlled by two members from Team Rocket, Jessie and James. Soon, Jessie and James are looking at the Wanted poster]'' :'''Jessie''': A Wanted poster. How flattering. :'''James''': Flattering? This picture makes me look terrible. :'''Jessie''': Then, you should be happy The Photographer captured the real you. :'''James''': Exactly. :'''Jessie''': We'll show these bumpkins. :'''James''': The people of Viridian City will be sorry they ever saw this face. :''[The camera cuts to a Meowth who can speak human]'' :'''Meowth''': We're all sorry to see your face. Stay focused. We're here to capture rare and unusual Pokémon. Don't forget, Meowth. :'''Jessie''': Absolutely. :'''James''': But of course. :'''Meowth''': And just remember, I'm the top cat. :'''James''': You got it. :'''Meowth''': Meowth. :''[Down on the ground, Officer Jenny is driving Ash and Pikachu to Viridian City's Pokémon Centre when she sees it straight ahead]'' :'''Officer Jenny''': There it is! :''[Viridian City's gigantic Pokémon Centre comes into view]'' :'''Ash''': Pokémon Centre? It's gigantic. :'''Officer Jenny''': This is tricky. Just hold on. Here we go! ''[jumps high on her motorcycle]'' :'''Ash''': Whoa! :''[The motorcycle comes skidding into the Pokémon Centre and stops right in front of the reception desk which is being manned by a Pokémon Nurse called Nurse Joy. Officer Jenny puts her foot on the pedal to stop her motorcycle]'' :'''Nurse Joy''': ''[annoyed]'' We have a driveway, you know. :'''Officer Jenny''': It's a Pokémon Emergency! :'''Ash''': ''[stands up]'' Please help it! :'''Nurse Joy''': Looks like a Pikachu. We’ll do what we can. ''[turns round to her computer]'' I need a stretcher for a small electric Pokémon, stat! :''[A couple of Chansey enter with a stretcher]'' :'''Chansey''': Chansey! :''[Nurse Joy puts Ash's injured Pikachu on the stretcher]'' :'''Nurse Joy''': It'll be okay. ''[to Chansey]'' Rush this Pokémon to the critical care unit. :'''Chansey''': Chansey! :''[They take Pikachu away with the stretcher]'' :'''Nurse Joy''' ''[puts on a pair of white gloves as one of the Chansey stands next to her]'' We’ll begin the treatment right away. :'''Ash''': Uh... :'''Nurse Joy''': Who are you? :'''Officer Jenny''': His name is Ash. He's the Pokémon's Trainer. :'''Ash''': If there's anything I can do, please just tell me. :'''Nurse Joy''': You can be more responsible. :'''Ash''': Uh? :'''Nurse Joy''': ''[sternly]'' If you want to become a Pokémon trainer, young man, you don't let your Pokémon battle till it's in this condition. :'''Ash''': But you don't know what happened. :'''Nurse Joy''': What's past is past. Now, we have to heal your Pikachu. :'''Ash''': What can I do? :'''Nurse Joy''': Just leave everything to me. :'''Ash''': Please. :'''Officer Jenny''': It's in your hands. I know you'll give the Pokémon excellent care. :'''Nurse Joy''': You got it here just in time. :'''Officer Jenny''': That's my job. ''[realises something]'' Oh my goodness. I left my motorcycle parked at the front desk! :'''Nurse Joy''': Next time, use the driveway. :'''Officer Jenny''': ''[chuckling sheepishly]'' Heh heh. ''[leaves]'' :'''Nurse Joy''': Ash, you'll will have to go to the waiting room. :'''Ash''': Can't I... ''[the door closes after Nurse Joy goes through; in his mind]'' Pikachu. <hr width=50%/> :'''Professor Oak''': When my grandson Gary said that you wouldn't have a single new Pokémon by the time you got to Viridian City, I bet him $1,000,000 that he'd be wrong! :'''Ash''': ''[surprised]'' Well, money isn't everything, right? :'''Professor Oak''': ''[dejected]'' Oh, why do I even bother? <hr width=50%/> :''[Misty confronts Ash at the Pokémon Center with her burnt bicycle]'' :'''Misty''': ''[panting]'' I knew I'd find you here! :'''Ash''': ''[seeing that her bike is destroyed]'' Hey, what happened to your bike?! :'''Misty''': What happened to my bike?! ''YOU'' happened to my bike, you little loser! This is what's left after you stole it to save your Pokémon! Now I can see why your Pokémon is in... WHOAOAOAOAH! ''[tumbles over and falls down]'' :'''Ash''': Let me help you. :'''Misty''': ''[slaps Ash's left arm]'' I don’t need your help, and you're gonna pay for what you did to my bike! :'''Ash''': I'll make up for it. I promise I will, really. But I can't do anything about your bike until... :'''Misty''': ''[angrily]'' I don't want any of your lame excuses, kid! I just want a new bike right now! :'''Ash''': It's my Pikachu. My Pikachu's not too good. :''[Misty becomes worried as Ash looks behind at the red light with a needle on it]'' :'''Misty''': Is it very serious? :'''Ash''': I think so, and there's nothing I can do to help now. <hr width=50%/> :''[Ash, Misty, and Nurse Joy have their lines of sight impaired by a Koffing's Smokescreen attack]'' :'''Ash''': What are...Who are they?! :'''Jessie''': Don't be frightened, little boy. :'''James''': Allow us to introduce ourselves. :'' [A teenage girl and boy emerge from the smoke]'' :'''Jessie''': To protect the world from devastation. :'''James''': To unite all people within our nation. :'''Jessie''': To denounce the evils of truth and love! :'''James''': To extend our reach to the stars above. :'''Jessie''': Jessie! :'''James''': James. :'''Jessie''': Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light! :'''James''': Surrender now or prepare to fight! :'''Meowth''':''[appearing from the top of the screen]'' Meowth! That's right! :'''Ash''': What are you talking about? :'''Jessie''': He just doesn't get it, does he? :'''Ash''': ''[off camera]'' How can I? You don't make any sense. :'''James''': We're here for the Pokémon. :'''Ash''': You're NOT getting Pikachu! :'''Jessie''': Pikachu? We're not interested in your precious Electric rat. You are. :'''James''': We seek only rare and valuable Pokémon. :'''Nurse Joy''': You are wasting your time. This is a center for weak and injured Pokémon. :'''Jessie''': Well, that may be so, but I wouldn't be at all surprised if we find a few little Pokémon gems among all the junk. :'''Ash''': You're starting to bug me. :'''Jessie''': Isn't that cute. :'''James''': The boy's bugged. :'''Meowth''': Meowth, then, let's squash him. :'''James''': Koffing, Attack! :'''Jessie''': Ekans, Go! :''[Nurse Joy, Ash and Misty flee the scene with Pikachu on the stretcher as Ekans and Koffing cause destruction]'' <hr width=50%/> :'''Misty''': You grab Pikachu and get out of here! I'll take care of these three clowns. :'''Jessie''': That's pretty big talk coming from such a little lady. :'''Misty''': At least you're right about the pretty part, thanks for the compliment. :'''James''': The girl thinks she's pretty. :'''Jessie''': I agree with her. I think she's pretty, too. Pretty pathetic! :'''Misty''': ''[annoyed]'' Hmmmm, I'll show you! Poké Ball, go! ''[Goldeen comes out rolling and jumping on the floor, to Jessie and James' shock]'' Goldeen, return! ''[Goldeen is back inside the Poké Ball]'' :'''Jessie''': That's her best shot? :'''James''': She's all washed up. <hr width=50%/> :'''Officer Jenny''': Too late, but not for the fireworks! <hr width=50%/> :''[The Meowth balloon is flying past the full moon, but Team Rocket is hanging from a rope]'' :'''Jessie''': Great! A cat losing to a mouse! :'''Meowth''': That Pikachu is no ordinary Pikachu. :'''James''': It's certainly very rare. A perfect prize! :'''Jessie''': Let's catch it! :'''Meowth''': Perhaps, we will. :''[Then, the Meowth balloon pops, sending the three characters hurtling through the night]'' == Ash Catches a Pokémon == :'''Ash''': ''[hugging his Poké-Ball]'' I love my new little Pokémon! :'''Misty''': I guess it takes a worm to love a worm. :'''Ash''': ''[sarcastically]'' Very funny. <hr width=50%/> :'''Misty''': ''[about Caterpie]'' It's so gross. ''[scared]'' Ash, put that slimy thing back in the Poké-Ball! Bugs are one of the three most disgusting things in the world! :'''Ash''': Aside from you, what are the other disgusting things? :'''Misty''': Very funny. ''[smashing]'' Carrots, ''[kicking]'' peppers, ''[hitting with a wooden hammer]'' and bugs. Everybody has something they don't like and I don't like bugs! :'''Ash''': ''[making a silly face]'' Yeah? Well, I like carrots, and peppers, and bugs. ''[now serious]'' What I ''don't'' like is the way you're hurting Caterpie's feelings with your silly fear of bugs. :'''Misty''': ''[dismissively]'' Hmph! == Challenge of the Samurai == :''[Misty screams]'' :'''Ash''': What's wrong now? :'''Misty''': I saw another bug! Gross! :'''Ash''': Maybe its a... ''[both he and Pikachu sighed. Then he's in the cow costume]'' Cow-terpie! <hr width=50%/> :''[Last lines]'' :'''James''': Do you have any more bright ideas? :'''Jessie''': Well, unlike you at least I have ideas! :'''Meowth''': Yeah, and they're all bad. :'''Jessie''': WHO ASKED YOU?! :''[The Kakunas and Beedrills are suddenly waking up]'' :'''James''': Oh-oh. :'''Jessie''': Oh no. :''[They're attacked by the swarm of Beedrills offscreen]'' == Showdown in Pewter City == :'''Ash''': My conscience is holding me back! I can't bring myself to beat Brock! I'm imagining his little brothers and sisters stopping me from beating the one person they love! :'''Misty''': Uh, Ash, I think you better open your eyes! <hr width=50%/> :'''Brock''': Hey Ash, are you sure it's okay if I go with you on your Pokémon journey? :'''Ash''': Sure I'm sure, the more the merrier! And it's good to have somebody to talk with. :'''Brock''': Well, what about that girl who keeps following you? :'''Misty''': DON'T FORGET ABOUT MY BIKE, ASH KETCHUM! I'M GONNA FOLLOW YOU UNTIL YOU PAY ME BACK! :'''Ash''': I know! I KNOW! Pikachu, let's try to lose her! :'''Pikachu''': Chu! ''[runs with Ash]'' :'''Brock''': ''[catching up]'' Wait up, Ash! :'''Misty''': ''[chasing after them]'' YOU WON'T GET AWAY! == Clefairy and the Moon Stone == :'''Jessie''': Well, it looks like Team Rocket is.... :'''James''': Blasting off again! :'''Meowth''': That was the Metronome! :'''Jessie''': I give it two thumbs down! :'''James''': Me too! :'''Meowth''': Meowth three! == The Water Flowers of Cerulean City == :'''James''': The coast is clear. :'''Jessie''': Nothing to fear. :'''Meowth''': Nobody here! <hr width=50%/> :'''Officer Jenny''': You two look very suspicious to me. :'''Ash''': Hey, you're that motorcycle officer from Viridian. :'''Officer Jenny''': Huh? Ah, you must've met my sister-in-law. If you know my sister-in-law, that means you probably had some dealings with the police in Viridian! :'''Ash''': Well, I... :'''Officer Jenny''': Now, maybe you just stopped to ask her for directions, or maybe you found a wallet on the street and turned it in to her, OR MAYBE YOU'RE A BURGLAR WHO BROKE OUTTA JAIL!!! ''[swings her handcuffs in a loop like a yo-yo]'' :'''Ash''': I've never been to jail! :'''Brock''': Neither have I, ma'am. :'''Officer Jenny''': That's what they all say. <hr width=50%/> :'''Misty''': Oh no! Staryu looks like it's in real pain! :'''Ash''': It doesn't even have a face. How can you tell? :'''Misty''': Because I'm sensitive to other's feelings! That's how! :'''Ash''': ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, yeah? Like I'm not? <hr width=50%/> :'''Ash''': Misty, you're not gonna be a sore loser, aren't you? :'''Misty''': I didn't lose anything! It was just a draw! :'''Ash''': Well, I'm the one who won the badge! :'''Misty''': You know you lost with Butterfree! :'''Ash''': That was just round 1. I made a great comeback! :'''Misty''': If Team Rocket hadn't busted in, I would've destroyed you! :'''Ash''': You're lucky they've showed up. You were about to lose! :'''Misty''': Lose?! I was just getting started! :'''Ash''': Oh, yeah?! :'''Misty''': Oh, yeah! :'''Brock''': Oh, brother! == The Path to the Pokémon League == == The School of Hard Knocks== :'''Misty''': All that crunching is ruining my romantic daydreams! <hr width=50%/> :'''Giselle''': True, but there's one thing you didn't know [The screen pans to her in a cerulean blue vest with two buttons under a white short puffy sleeved shirt, a red ribbon, and dark blue pleated skirt. later a group of boys come] your opponent's from the Cerulean City Gym. Her Pokemon has much more experience battling. You should've known that. You're an embarrassment to the whole school! :'''Joe''': But, Giselle... :'''Ash''': [blushing at her] She's really pretty, isn't she? :'''Brock''': Yeah, she looks just like a movie star. ''[Then the screen pans to Misty]'' :'''Misty''': [thinking] They like stars, do they? I'll be glad to show them some stars. ''[Cuts to Giselle is on a blue starry background from the Sailor Moon franchise]'' :'''Giselle''': I'm the top student in the beginning class of the most exclusive club in the world, Pokémon Tech. It's sad that others aren't blessed with my beauty, my talent, my humble attitude. People call me a star, [the shining yellow star flies and cut to her on a galaxy background] but I'm just Giselle. == Bulbasaur and the Hidden Village == == Charmander - The Stray Pokémon == :'''Misty''': I just can't go one step further. We've been looking for Vermilion City for 10 whole days! :'''Brock''': Uh, there's a bug right on your... <hr width=50%/> :'''Brock''': ''[as Charmander is dying in the Pokémon Center; in his mind]'' Charmander, you've got to hold on. Please, keep your flame burning. <hr width=50%/> :''[Charmander closes eyes, and uses Flamethrower on Team Rocket and fries them]'' :'''James''': You see!? Did I tell you we needed fire-proof uniform?! :'''Jessie''': Shut up and keep running! :'''Meowth''': Some geniuses! Meowth! :'''Team Rocket''': Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again! :'''Damian''': ''[appears from the bushes; surprised]'' Charmander beat them? == Here Comes the Squirtle Squad == :'''Misty''': It's Meowth! :'''Ash''': Meowth?! == Mystery at the Lighthouse == == Electric Shock Showdown == :'''Brock''': ''[after Team Rocket's cheer]'' That was really disturbing. <hr width=50%/> :'''Ash''': Use the strategy we planned, Pikachu! You can do it! :'''Surge''': A strategy? So they've planned a new way to lose! == Battle Aboard the St. Anne == :'''James''': Wait! There goes my next paycheck! :'''Jessie''': Who cares about your paycheck? What about mine?! :'''Meowth''': We gotta get out of here! <hr width=50%/> :'''Captain''': May I have your attention? Anyone who didn't leave the ship safely, please say "Aye." Good. Well done. Everyone's safe then. :'''Narrator''': Not everyone, Captain. And as the St. Anne heads to the bottom of the sea, our heroes, are trapped unconscious inside, and so is Team Rocket. Could this be the end?! How will they escape their "watery" fate? I don't know, but, I have a terrible "sinking" feeling. == Pokémon Shipwreck == :'''James''': Jessica? :'''Jessie''': Yes, James. :'''James''': Whoever said beauty doesn't last must've been thinking of us. :'''Jessie''': I'll always remember what a wonderful dresser you were.
 :'''James''': So will I. <hr width=50%/> :'''James''': What is that?! :'''Misty''': Now you've done it! Magikarp has evolved into a Gyarados! :'''Jessie''': Gyarados?! I miss Magikarp! <hr width=50%/> :'''Jessie''': Dimwit! If you're the master, don't act like you're scared of it! :'''James''': I am scared! == Island of the Giant Pokémon == :'' [All Pokémon are speaking in Pokémon language, with English subtitles translating their speech] :'''Squirtle''': Maybe they got eaten by wild Pokémon. ''[makes a scary face with razor-sharp teeth, making a chomping motion]'' :'''Pikachu''': Don't say things like that! :'''Charmander''': Yeah, cut it out! :'''Squirtle''': Sorry. <hr width=50%/> :''[The first thing Team Rocket does after calling their boss is recite their motto for no apparent reason]'' :'''Giovanni''': Nitwits! How dare you annoy me with your nonsense? Don't ever bother me like this again! ''[hangs up]'' <hr width=50%/> :''[After a giant Venusaur is spotted]'' :'''Squirtle''': ''[to Bulbasaur]'' You go and speak to it, you guys are like family! :'''Bulbasaur''': No way. Just call me an orphan, I have no family. :'''Charmander''': Good point. :'''Squirtle''': Coward. <hr width=50%/> :''[The phone rings]'' :'''Giovanni''': ''[answers it]'' Yes? What?! Pokémon Land has been totally destroyed?! ''[hangs up; growls]'' I spent millions on that place! == Beauty and the Beach == :'''Prof. Oak''': Your mother's been worried about you, Ash. She says she still thinks of you as her little pumpkin. :'''Ash''': That makes me sound like a baby. :'''Delia''': You'll ''always'' be my baby, won't you? :'''Ash''': Yeah. :'''Delia''': Well, I just hope you aren't eating a lot of junk food and getting into any trouble. :'''Ash''': Of course not! ''[suddenly remembers his boat accident]'' At least not a lotta trouble. :'''Delia''': What's that mean? :'''Moe''': ''I'm'' the one who got into trouble, Mrs. Ketchum. Ash helped out at my restaurant when I really needed help. But even more importantly, your son has been a great inspiration to me. :'''Delia''': That's wonderful! What a relief. :'''Ash''': Thanks, Moe. <hr width="50%"> :''[Misty is walking down the catwalk in a beauty contest, wearing a bikini]'' :'''Misty''': This is totally embarrassing and degrading, but we need the money! == Tentacool & Tentacruel == == The Ghost of Maiden's Peak == :'''James''': I can't believe you're letting that ghost get me just because you're both so cheap! :'''Jessie''': You don't want to go? :'''James''': Of course I don't wanna go. I don't wanna go! I don't wanna go! I don't wanna go! <hr width="50%"> :'''James''': You really do care! :'''Jessie''': It's not 'cuz of you. Girls like her disgust me. Always waiting around for her man as if she were his faithful pet. She can't stand the thought of losing him. She cries, but I'd say, "see ya later!". There are plenty more fish in the sea. :'''Meowth''': I could sure go for some fish. <hr width="50%"> :'''Misty''': Then how about this! :'''Gastly''': What's that? :'''Misty''': It's a cross! I've also got garlic, a stake, and a hammer! :'''Gastly''': ...What do I look like, a vampire or something? == Bye Bye Butterfree == :'''Ash''': Take care, Butterfree! Good luck, buddy! Goodbye, Butterfree. I'll always remember you. Thank you for everything. Goodbye, Butterfree! == Abra and the Psychic Showdown == :'''Ash''': Telekinesis is okay, but I have my own secret method for bending spoons. ''[bends the spoon with his hands and laughs]'' Muscle over mind! :'''Misty''': Embarrassing. :'''Brock''': Just pretend we never met him before. == The Tower of Terror == :'''Ash''': ''[after frightening his group with a deadly skull mask]'' Sorry, guys! I was just testing you. If we're gonna try to catch a Ghost Pokémon, we gotta learn to deal with fear. That's the only way we can become great Pokémon trainers. :'''Misty''': You must be crazy! :'''Brock''': Don't ever do that! <hr width=50%/> :'''Jessie''': You mangy alley cat! You numskull! You ruined my beautiful face! <hr width=50%/> :'''Misty''': Look! ''[Something flies up the air]'' :'''All''': Huh! [They see at all of those floating in the air] AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! ''[Then a chair flies and knocks Brock in]'' :'''Brock''': WOOOAAAAHHH!! HELP ME! == Haunter vs. Kadabra == :'''Ash''': Ohh... Sabrina's the meanest Trainer I ever met. :'''Sabrina's Father''': She wasn't always such a mischievous girl. :'''Ash''': You mean, you knew Sabrina before she changed? :'''Sabrina's Father''': Huh? Well! I've heard stories. <hr width=50%> :'''Sabrina's Father''': Though she was very young, Sabrina became completely obsessed with her psychic training. She didn't want to make friends. all she wanted was to be left alone to develop her powers. Her parents tried to help, but Sabrina used her psychic powers to drive them away. The conflict caused Sabrina to split into two girls. The strong Pokémon Trainer who was always causing trouble, and the lonely little girl who desperately desires to make friends. That doll that Sabrina always holds represents her true self, before her training, before she rejected her own heart. :'''Ash''': Sabrina had this picture of her family in her room. If you have the same picture, then, that must mean you are... :'''Sabrina's Father''': Huh?! ''[thinks]'' Does he know? He must have figured it out by now. After everything I said, he must have figured out the truth about Sabrina and me. He must realize that I'm Sabrina's Father! :'''Ash''': ...Then, that must mean you are a photographer. :'''Sabrina's Father''': ''[face faults]'' Whoa! :'''Pikachu''': Pika! :'''Sabrina's Father''': Don't you see?! Don't you get it?! :'''Ash''': Get what? :'''Sabrina's Father''': Never mind... :'''Ash''': Sabrina turned Brock and Misty into dolls. :'''Sabrina's Father''': Yeah, there's nothing we can do about that. :'''Ash''': Whoa! :'''Sabrina's Father''': The only way to rescue your friends is to defeat Sabrina. Isn't that why you traveled to Lavender Town, to get a Ghost Pokémon? :'''Ash''': But Haunter has disappeared someplace. :'''Sabrina's Father''': Then, you must find Haunter first. Without it, you'll never be able to defeat Sabrina and her Psychic Pokémon. :'''Ash''': I guess not... <hr width=50%> :'''Jessie''': To protect the world from devastation. :'''James''': To unite all people within our nation. :'''Jessie''': To denounce the evils of truth and love. :'''James''': To extend our reach to the stars above. :'''Jessie''': Jessie! :'''James''': James! :'''Meowth''': Yeah, yeah, that's very dramatic. Now, let's cut to the chase, and catch that Pikachu. :'''Jessie''': Just leave that to us. :'''Meowth''': By the way, what is the secret weapon you cooked up this time? :'''James''': A deadly weapon that has been perfected for over thousands of years. Now we've learned to use its awesome powers. With a flick of this fishing net, we'll round up Pikachu. :'''Meowth''': You mean that's your secret weapon?! :'''James''': It takes a genius to realize a fishing net is the perfect weapon! :'''Jessie''': Oh, James, it's the greatest discovery since Einstein invented the light bulb! :'''Jessie and James''': ''[sing and dance]'' Even greater than the chicken who invented the egg! :''[The egg falls on them]'' :'''James''': All of us true geniuses know, of course, that it was actually the egg that preceded the chicken. :'''Jessie''': Of course. I knew that. I had just forgotten. :'''Meowth''': Now you got my brain scrambled! Let's cut the egg-splanations and capture Pikachu! <hr width=50%> :'''James''': Don't laugh, Jessie, otherwise you are going to let go. :'''Jessie''': I won't crack. The Members of Team Rocket have been trained to resist all silliness, and to be totally serious! <hr width=50%/> :''[concrete is being poured into a hole Team Rocket is trapped in]'' :'''Jessie''': Hello, up there! Anyone?! We're trapped down here! :'''James''': Stop pouring cement! :'''Meowth''': Get me outta here quick! <hr width=50%/> :'''Jessie''': A little cement.... :'''James''': ...will never stop Team Rocket. :'''Meowth''': A little cement? :'''All three''': ''[flee]'' We're blasting off again! == Primeape Goes Bananas == :'''Professor Oak''': I can't write a good poem without rhymes, and you can't be a good Pokémon trainer without catching more Pokémon. <hr width="50%"> :'''Brock''': ''[Holding a box of rice balls]'' These donuts are great! Jelly-filled are my favorite! Nothing beats a jelly-filled donut! == Pokémon Scent-sation == :'''Erika''': P for Pretty, E for Elegant, R for Radiant, F for Fun, U for Urbane, M for Mysterious, E for Energy, and that spells... :'''Misty''': Perfume! :'''Brock''': Right! <hr width=50%/> :''[The three employees angrily confront Ash for his rude remarks about the perfume]'' :'''Employee 1''': YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF! :'''Employee 2''': YOU INSENSITIVE LITTLE WORM! :'''Ash''': What did I say? :''[The purple-haired employee kicks Ash out of the store]'' :'''Employee 3''': GET OUT! AND DON'T COME BACK! :'''Ash''': I don't wanna come back! I'm on my way to the Celadon Gym! <hr width=50%/> :'''Jessie''': It stinks... :'''James''': Just like your plan! :'''Meowth''': You said it! == Hypno's Naptime == == Pokémon Fashion Flash == :'''James''': Now we need a total makeover so nobody we ripped off can recognize us! :'''Jessie''': They're all just jealous because they're not attractive enough to wear our designs! :'''Team Rocket''': BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD! :'''Narrator''': So long, Salon Roquet! == The Punchy Pokémon == :'''Meowth''': Honey baked ham! Roast leg of lamb! Strawberry jam! :'''James''': Sirloin steaks! Chocolate cakes! :'''Jessie''': Can't you numbskulls think of anything but food?! <hr width=50%/> :'''Meowth''': It looks like it works. Really appreciate it. :''[the bomb beeps, electricity hits Team Rocket, they are fried to a crisp, the bomb explodes which sends them outside blasting off] :'''Team Rocket''': Team Rocket's blasting off again! == Sparks Fly For Magnemite == :'''Ash''': Gee, that Magnemite is following Pikachu around like some sort of streaker. :'''Brock''': Um, Ash, you mean 'stalker'. ----- :'''Professor Oak''': ''[chuckles]'' It's been quite a while since Ash sent me a new Pokémon. I wonder what he's captured this time? ''[a Poke Ball popped open, and as Professor Oak held his nose, out of it comes a very rancid Muk!]'' Hmm? Ugh! What is that smell?! Ew... What's the idea of sending me a Muk?! Yecch! :'''Muk''': MUK!!! == Dig Those Diglett == :''[A Diglett returns the uncooperative Poké Ball to Gary]'' :'''Gary''': Oh thanks. Wait! This can't happen! <hr width=50%/> :'''James''': Some principle of induced evolution. :'''Jessie''': ''[reads a manual]'' It says here that Pokémon need to accumulate a certain amount of experience points before they can successfully evolve. :'''James''': ''[depressed]'' ''Our'' experience is nothing but losing. == The Ninja Poké-Showdown == :'''Ash''': Venonat? It's you! I'm gonna teach you a lesson! ''[runs up to it, but it jumps back through the door it came out of]'' Come back! ''[enters through the door, but screams upon seeing spinning projectiles flying towards him]'' :'''Misty and Brock''': ''[react upon hearing the projectiles hit the wall and are concerned about Ash]'' Ash! :'''Pikachu''': Kachu! ''[Ash!]'' :''[Misty, Brock, and Pikachu enter the door, but they find an empty room and cannot find Ash.]'' :'''Misty''': Where is he? :'''Brock''': There must be another way out. :'''Misty''': Maybe it's just another trick. :''[The door soon turns around to reveal Ash pinned to the wall by multiple shurikens, much to their surprise.]'' :'''Ash''': Someone help me... :'''Aya''': ''[cackles and jumps down from the ceiling]'' Born in darkness, living in darkness, such is the fate of the ninja. I am Aya, ninja warrior! :'''Misty''': ''[about Aya's uniform color]'' But don't you think that color is a little bright for a ninja? :'''Aya''': I don't need your fashion report! But tell me, didn't you enjoy my little star treatment? ''[reveals her shuriken]'' :'''Ash''': You can't just chuck throwing stars around. It's dangerous! :'''Misty''': That's right! Tell her, Brock! :''[However, Brock wasn't listening and approached Aya.]'' :'''Brock''': ''[lovestruck]'' I think that electric pink suits you perfectly, and you certainly look lovely. ''[but Aya responds by slapping Brock's hand, much to Ash and Misty's shock and embarrassment]'' :'''Aya''': ''[pushes Brock away]'' This is a training camp! It was your fault you let your guard down. :'''Ash''': ''[offended]'' My guard down? :'''Aya''': I won't let you leave this mansion without having a Pokémon battle with me, first. ''[her Venonat appears behind her]'' :'''Ash''': ''[shrugs]'' Oh, that thing! :'''Aya''': This Venonat informed me that three stupid-looking people had entered the mansion. :'''Ash''': For your information, we're not the stupid ones around here! I accept your challenge! ''[suddenly remembers he's still stuck]'' Uh, but first, could you let me down from here? :''[Everyone face faults in embarrassment. Soon, Ash is freed from his predicament and takes his place on the battlefield.]'' :'''Aya''': One Pokémon for each of us. Choose yours now. == The Flame Pokémon-athon! == :'''Dario''': ''[growls after his defeat]'' You're the reason I didn't win the Pokémon challenge! Team Rocket's the worst. :'''Jessie''': We'll just have to plan better next year. :'''James''': And maybe you can get some nicer riding clothes. :'''Meowth''': And give that smelly bird a bath. == The Kangaskhan Kid == == The Bridge Bike Gang == :''[Ash, Misty and Brock finds out Jessie and James used to belong to a bike gang]'' :'''James''': I guess our secret past is not a secret anymore. :'''Ash''': I kind of wish it still was! == Ditto's Mysterious Mansion == :'''James''': Will you stop it, Meowth?! :'''Jessie''': The only way we can get out of this mess is to dress you up like a Dratini and present you to the boss. :'''Meowth''': Pea-brains! This won't work! == Pikachu's Goodbye == :'''Meowth''': It's a Pika-Palooza! :'''Jessie''': We're at the Pika of our powers. :'''James''': Chu can say that again, Jess! <hr width=50%/> :''[Last lines; the Pikachu cheer]'' :'''Misty''': What do you think they're doing? :'''Brock''': Well, I think they might be cheering. For Ash and for Pikachu! :''[Pikachu runs up to Ash, who smiles tearfully]'' :'''Pikachu''': ''[leaps up to him]'' Pikapi! :'''Ash''': Pikachu! :''[They embrace joyfully]'' :'''Narrator''': Another adventure has brought Ash and Pikachu even closer. In their hearts, they know they'll go on to face every challenge together. == The Battling Eevee Brothers == :''[Jessie breathes fire in anger]'' :'''Meowth''': Wow! Jessie just evolved into a Flareon! <hr width=50%/> :'''Jessie''': Well, it's back to eating the lunch of losers. :'''James''': Victory tasted a lot better. == Wake Up Snorlax! == == Showdown at Dark City == :''[Last lines; Team Rocket is still covered in red paint]'' :'''Jessie''': Well, that was a complete waste of time. :'''James''': Looks like we're through. :'''Meowth''': ''[notices Electabuzz and Scyther charging at them]'' Huh? Unfortunately, we're not quite through yet. :'''Jessie and James''': Huh? :'''Scyther''': Scyther! :'''Electabuzz''': Blblblblblblbl! :'''Team Rocket''': AAH! :'''James''': Somebody... :'''Team Rocket''': HELP! == The March of the Exeggutor Squad == == The Problem with Paras == :'''Jessie''': Well, there goes our billions. :'''James''': And zillions. :'''Meowth''': I'm a hero, but I got zero! == The Song of Jigglypuff == :''[Team Rocket realizes they recorded their own snoring instead of Jigglypuff's song]'' :'''James''': What is that awful sound? :'''Jessie''': It's all of us snoring! :'''Meowth''': What are we supposed to do with that? == Attack of the Prehistoric Pokémon == :''[Gary is digging for fossils and stumbles upon one]'' :'''Gary''': Success! My first Pokémon fossil! :'''Fan Girls''': Yay! Gary, Gary, he's the best! Found a fossil before the rest! Go, Gary! :''[An expert comes over, takes the fossil out of Gary's hands and examines it]'' :'''Gary''': Impressive, isn't it? Found it on my first try. Looks like a brain from an extinct Pokémon. :'''Expert''': This is- :'''Gary''': ''[hopeful]'' A brain? :'''Expert''': It's fossilized Pokémon manure. :''[Gary face faults]'' :'''Fan Girls''': Ew. Yuck! Gross! == A Chansey Operation == == Holy Matrimony! == :''[Arriving next to the normal mansion]'' :'''Ash''': Whoa! Look at that! :'''Misty''': It's huge! :'''Brock''': I've seen shopping malls smaller than this place! :'''Misty''': It must have a hundred rooms! :'''Ash''': It's the biggest mansion I've ever seen! :'''Hopkins''': ''[through the megaphone]'' This is not the mansion! This little dog house is for Growlie. <hr width=50%/> :[After hearing James' tragic but fake story] :'''Jessie''': That's such a sad ending! :'''Meowth''': That poor kid! :'''Brock''': I can't believe James is gone! :'''Ash''': I miss him! :'''Misty''': ''[annoyed]'' Hmph! JAMES IS STANDING RIGHT HERE! :'''James''': Huh? Wait. Yeah, that right! ''[both Jessie and Meowth glare at him]'' Aah! I'm all mixed up! <hr width=50%/> :'''Meowth''': ''[sighs]'' I guess all of that money and luxury was just too tempting for James to give up. == So Near, Yet So Farfetch'd == == Who Gets to Keep Togepi? == == Bulbasaur's Mysterious Garden == :'''Ash''': It's gotta be okay. ''[as Nurse Joy and Chansey cart Bulbasaur to the healing room, a bunch of flowers start to bloom in the vase magically]'' :'''Togepi''': ''[noticing the flowers]'' Prii! Toge, Toge, Toge, Toge, Toge, Toge, Toge, Togepri! :'''Misty''': What's the matter, Togepi? Is something wrong? Huh? <hr width="50%/"> :''[Ash, Brock and Misty join Pikachu and see an entire field full of Bulbasaur, and the pollen trail going straight to a giant, dead tree]'' :'''Ash''': Wow! This must be the Mysterious Garden! :''[Down in the field, the Bulbasaur are starting the ceremony by chanting their names]'' :'''Group of Bulbasaur''': ''[chanting]'' Bulba, Bulba, Bulbasaur. Bulba, Bulba, Bulbasaur. Bulba, Bulba, Bulbasaur... :''[As they continue chanting, the branches of the tree start growing, nearly going up to the moon. Soon, flowers start blooming in the field and flowers start to blossom on the tips of the branches of the tree, leaving our heroes in wonderment]'' :'''Ash''': That's neat! :'''Misty''': Wow! It's so pretty! :''[Then, some giant bangs are heard and a glow is seen inside the tree]'' :'''Ash''': What's that banging sound? :''[The source of the banging is soon revealed to be a Venusaur, who steps onto the tree stump in front of the tree where it came from]'' :'''Venusaur''': SAUR! ''["RISE!"]'' :'''Ash''': Look, you guys! It's a Venusaur! :'''Misty'''': It's giant! :''[Ash gets out his Pokédex to scan Venusaur]'' :'''Ash's Pokédex''': Venusaur, the final form of the Bulbasaur evolution. This Seed Pokémon soaks up the sun's rays as a source of energy. :'''Brock''': Hmmm, But that kind of behaviour makes it sound like a plant. :'''Ash''': I don't see my Bulbasaur anyplace around here! :'''Misty''': Hey, Ash, your Bulbasaur still has that bandage on its head. :'''Ash''': Hmmmm. :'''Pikachu''': ''[sees Ash's Bulbasaur; jumping up in excitement]'' Pika! :'''Ash''': Hey, there it is! Over here, Bulba- :'''Brock''': ''[covers Ash's mouth]'' Hey, not so loud! Don't forget. Human beings aren't supposed to be here. :'''Ash''': Oh, right. :'''Misty''': Let's watch the festival. :''[Soon, the festival is underway]'' :'''Venusaur''': SAUR! ''["RISE!"]'' :'''All the Bulbasaur''': SAUR! ''["RISE!"]'' :'''Venusaur''': SAUR! ''["RISE!"]'' :'''All the Bulbasaur''': SAUR! ''["RISE!"]'' :'''Venusaur''': SAUR! ''["RISE!"]'' :'''All the Bulbasaur''': SAUR! ''["RISE!"]'' :'''Venusaur''': SAUR! ["RISE!"] :'''All the Bulbasaur''': SAUR! ''["RISE!"]'' :''[Ash's Bulbsasaur is watching quietly]'' :'''Venusaur''': SAUR! ''["RISE!"]'' :'''All the Bulbasaur''': SAUR! ["RISE!"] :'''Ash's Bulbasaur''': Bulbasaur. :'''Venusaur''': SAUR! ''["RISE!"'' :'''All the Bulbasaur''': SAUR! ''["RISE!"]'' :''[As the festival goes on, the Bulbasaur start glowing]'' :'''Venusaur''': SAUR! ''["RISE!"]'' :'''All the Bulbasaur''': SAUR! ''["RISE!"]'' :''Ash, Brock and Misty are amazed by what they have seen. Meanwhile, Team Rocket have come across the vine wall blocking the entrance to the festival]'' :'''Jessie''': How do we get in there? :'''James''': Why doesn't just Meowth just Scratch his way through with his claws? :'''Meowth''': I just filed them. :'''Jessie''': ''[holding an axe]'' Alright, garden wall, you axed for it! :'''James''': ''[holding a saw]'' We're the toughest team you ever saw! :'''Meowth''': ''[holding a pair of scythes]'' Let's cut ta da chase! :''[However, before they can start chopping the wall apart, the vines attack them and force them back]'' :'''Jessie''': A temper tantrum, eh?! Let's get to the root of its problem! :'''Meowth''': En garde! :''[They charge at the vines, but the vines force them to retreat]'' :'''James''': I think its bite is as bad as its bark! :''[Back in the field, the Bulbasaur begin to glow bright. The glows soon fade to reveal that most of them have evolved into Ivysaur]'' :'''One of the Ivysaur''': Ivysaur! ''["Alright!"]'' :'''Ash''': Alright! ''[scans Ivysaur with his Pokédex]'' :'''Ash's Pokédex''': The Seed Pokemon, Ivysaur, Bulbasaur's evolved form. The bulb on its back absorbs nourishment and blooms into a large flower. :'''Venusaur''': Saur. ''["Begin!"]'' :'''All the Ivysaur''': Saur. ["We begin!"] :'''Venusaur''': Saur. ''["Begin!"]'' :'''All the Ivysaur''': Saur. ''["We begin!"]'' :'''Ash''': This must be their evolution festival. :'''Brock''': For a long time, people have disagreed whether Bulbasaur is an animal-type Pokémon or a plant-type. If either plants or animals disappear from the planet, life wouldn't go on. :'''Misty''': They need each other to live and grow. :'''Pikachu''': Pika. :'''Brock''': Maybe the Bulbasaur are a sign that all Life on Earth is connected. :'''Ash''': Maybe you're right. I wonder if my Bulbasaur's gonna evolve, too. ''[surprised by what he sees]'' :'''Brock''': Huh? :''[Ash and his friends see that Ash's Bulbasaur hasn't evolved and is now resisting the evolutionary process]'' :'''Misty''': It's not evolving! :'''Ash''': Why not? :'''Brock''': It looks like it's trying NOT to evolve! :'''Pikachu''': Pika? :'''Venusaur''': Venus, Venusaur? ''["What? Who is that over there?"]'' :'''Ash's Bulbasaur''': Bulbasaur? :'''Venusaur''': Venusaur? ''["Why have you not evolved?"]'' :'''Ash's Bulbasaur''': Bulba? ''["Pardon?"]'' :'''Venusaur''': Venu, Venusaur? ''["I said, 'Why have you not evolved?'"]'' :'''Ash's Bulbasaur''': Bulba, Bulbasaur. ''["I just wasn't ready to evolve."]'' :'''Venusaur''': Venusaur, Venusaur, Venusaur? ''["All Bulbasaur must evolve! Why do you refuse?"]'' :'''Ash's Bulbasaur''': Bulbasaur! Bulba Bulba... ''[shakes its head]'' ...Bulbasaur, Saur! ''["I didn't come here for this festival, and I don't think I'll ever be ready to evolve."]'' :'''Venusaur''': Venusaur? Venu SAUR! ''["What? How disgraceful of you to trespassing our festival!"]'' :'''All the Ivysaur''': Ivysaur! ''["Trespasser!"]'' :'''Ash's Bulbasaur''': Bulbasaur? :''[Ash, Brock and Misty have seen what has happened]'' :'''Misty''': The others are getting really angry at Bulbasaur. :'''Ash''': I wonder why? :'''Brock''': Bulbasaur's more stubborn than you! :'''Venusaur''': Venusaur! ''[uses Vine Whip on Ash's Bulbasaur]'' :'''Ash's Bulbasaur''': BULBA! ''["YIKES!"]'' :'''Ash''': Hey! ''[jumps down onto the field]'' :'''Pikachu: Pik! ''[follows Ash]'' :'''Ash''': ''[stands in the way of Venusaur's Vine Whip attack to protect his Bulbasaur]'' Oh! :'''Pikachu''': Pikapi? :'''Ash's Bulbasaur''': Bulbasaur? :''[Ash turns and grins at Pikachu and Bulbasaur]'' == Riddle Me This == :''[Ash and the gang were in a wading pool, trying to figure out a riddle]'' :'''Brock''': It's where a firefighter can never win. Where could that be? :'''Misty''': Where can a firefighter never win? Maybe someplace that doesn't have enough water. ''[realizes Togepi has wandered off to shore]'' Huh? Togepi? :'''Togepi''': ''[seeing the Gyrados fixture]'' Toge. :'''Misty''': What are you doing, Togepi? Togepi, move away! That water's boiling. ''[Togepi climbs to the top of the fixture and jumps on it multiple times before opening the secret entrance]'' == The Case of the K-9 Caper! == == Pokémon Paparazzi == == The Ultimate Test == :'''Narrator''': There seems to be a little mix-up! == The Breeding Center Secret == :'''Jessie''': James! Watch where you're throwing that dirt! :'''James''': Watch?! I can't see the foot in front of my face! :'''Meowth''': If you don't quit squawkin', you'll see the foot in front of your face! Mine! == All Fired Up! == :'''Ash''': ''[shouts excitedly]'' Yee...'''''HAH!''''' :'''Misty''': Ash, are you going crazy?! :'''Brock''': The answer is yes. :'''Pikachu''': Pika. ''[Togepi suddenly starts crying as a result of Ash scaring it]'' :'''Misty''': Now, just look what you did to Togepi. Oh, it's all right, little Togepi. ''[After the crying stops, Togepi lets out a very sad squeak]'' ''[Squirtle’s Water Gun hits Team Rocket to put out the fire and they are crisped up from the flame]'' :'''Meowth''': Dat was very refreshing. :'''Jessie''': ''[loses her temper]'' Listen twerp! Just because you and that swuirt toy saved our lives, it doesn’t mean we can’t be mean!! :'''James''': We’re taking that flame-o, lame-o! == Fire and Ice == :''[Ash and Pikachu were having a meal at an all-you-can-eat buffet when Misty and Togepi arrive]'' :'''Misty''': Careful, Ash. All that food can make your belly as big as your head. :'''Togepi''': Toge, Toge. :'''Ash''': Thanks, Mist, but I can't help it. I got all this food for free! That's 'cause she happens to be a big fan of mine. :'''Misty''': ''[puts Togepi down]'' Ash, everybody in the Pokémon League gets to eat here for free. ''[does not realize that Togepi slides off the booth seat and heads across the floor]'' :'''Ash''': What?! Really? :'''Misty''': I know you won twice, and that's great. But you can't let that make you crazy. :'''Ash''': I can't? How come? :'''Misty''': Oh, well. I give up. :'''Pikachu''': ''[seeing Togepi pulling the tablecloth with the cutlery on top]'' Pika, Pika! ''[the cutlery falls over]'' PIKACHU! ''[dives in, but Togepi walks out of harm's way and the cutlery lands around Pikachu, who catches the fork with the teeth]'' Pikachu. :'''Togepi''': Toge, Toge, Toge. ''[laughs at Pikachu holding the fork with the mouth]'' Togepi! ==External links== {{Wikipedia|List of Pokémon: Indigo League episodes}} {{Authority control}} [[Category:Japanese TV shows]] [[Category:Pokémon]] nx7gecv6jime3vmnkh4pdtjup5fi6um 0 158923 3942035 3930933 2026-05-17T12:24:14Z Filmator1 3314256 /* */ 3942035 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} [[File:X-Men_Days_of_Future_Past_Title.png|thumb|In the [[future]], you and I will be [[good]] [[friends]]... You just don't [[know]] it yet.]] '''''[[w:X-Men: Days of Future Past|X-Men: Days of Future Past]]''''' is a 2014 superhero film and the seventh in a series of films, after ''[[w:The Wolverine|Wolverine]]'', based on the [[w:Marvel Comics|Marvel Comics]] series [[w:X-Men|X-Men]]. The film focuses on two time periods and [[w:Wolverine (comics)|Wolverine]] going to 1973 to save the future of mankind. It is a sequel to both [[w:2006 in film|2006's]] ''[[X-Men: The Last Stand|X-Men 3: The Last Stand]]'' and [[w:2011 in film|2011's]] ''[[X-Men: First Class]]''. :''Directed by [[w:Bryan Singer|Bryan Singer]]. Screenplay by [[w:Simon Kinberg|Simon Kinberg]]. Story by [[w:Jane Goldman|Jane Goldman]], Simon Kinberg and [[w:Matthew Vaughn|Matthew Vaughn]].'' {{center|'''The future begins.''' ([[#Taglines|Taglines]])}} ==Charles Xavier/Professor X== * ''[opening words by older self in original timeline (voice over)]'' The future: a dark, desolate world. A world of war, suffering, loss on both sides. Mutants, and the humans who dared to help them, fighting an enemy we cannot defeat. Are we destined down this path, destined to destroy ourselves like so many species before us? Or can we evolve fast enough to change ourselves... change our fate? Is the future truly set? * ''[closing words by younger self in revised timeline (voice over)]'' The past: a new and uncertain world. A world of endless possibilities and infinite outcomes. Countless choices define our fate: each choice, each moment, a ripple in the river of time. Enough ripples, and you change the tide... for the future is never truly set. ==Dialogue== [[File:Editor at large 1206.svg|thumb|[[Pain]] will make you stronger. If you allow yourself to feel it, embrace it, it will make you more powerful than you ever imagined. It's the [[greatest]] [[gift]] we have: to bear ... [[pain]] without breaking. And it comes from the most [[human]] part of us: [[hope]].]] [[File:Pieter Bruegel the Elder (1568) The Blind Leading the Blind.jpg|thumb|Just because someone stumbles and loses their way, it doesn't mean they're lost forever. Sometimes, we all need a little help. ]] :''[Kitty Pride briefs Wolverine on the potential dangers of his time-travel mission]'' :'''Kitty Pryde''': Basically, your body will go to sleep while your mind travels back in time. As long as you're back there, past and present will continue to coexist. But once you wake up, whatever you've done will take hold and become history. And for the rest of us it'll be the only history that we know. It'll be like the last fifty years never happened. And this world, this war...the only person who will remember it is you. Alright, Logan, I need you to clear your head and to stay as calm as possible. :'''Wolverine''': What? What do you mean? :'''Kitty''': If your mind gets rocky it'll be harder for me to hold you. You could start to slip between past and future. :'''Wolverine''': What if I need to get a little rocky? :'''Kitty''': Think peaceful thoughts. :'''Wolverine''': Peaceful thoughts. You have any good news? :'''Kitty''': Well, you don't really age, so you'll pretty much look the same. :'''Iceman''': You won't have much time in the past, the Sentinels will find us. They always do. :'''Kitty''': And this time we won't be able to run, we'll have no escape. This is our last chance. <hr width="50%"/> :''[The [[w:United_States_Senate_Committee_on_Armed_Services|Senate Armed Services Committee]] hears out Bolivar Trask]'' :'''Senator Brickman''': We are reviewing our defense expenditures, and all the black books are being opened. We can't support a weapon that targets our own citizens. If these Mutants as you describe are already living among us, then they are living here peacefully. :'''Senator Parker''': We haven't had an incident in over ten years. :'''Senator Davis''': [[w:X-Men: First Class|After what happened in Cuba!]] :'''Parker''': It was never confirmed. ''[Addressing Trask]'' We have very real enemies out there. The Russians, the Chinese. :'''Brickman''': We are talking about a tenth of a tenth of a tenth of our population. :'''Dr. Bolivar Trask''': Allow me to read something to you. :'''Brickman''': Please. :'''Trask''': This was acquired from our friends in the CIA. ''[Opening a folder]'' It's a dissertation written by a mutant at Oxford University and I quote: "To ''Homo Neanderthalensis'', his mutant cousin: ''Homo Sapiens''," which is us, "was an aberration. The arrival of the mutated human species, ''Homo Sapiens'', was followed by the immediate extinction of their less evolved kin." ''[Closes the folder]'' Well, now ''we'' are the Neanderthal. :'''Brickman''': Speak for yourself, Dr. Trask. ''[Members of Congress laugh quietly]'' :'''Trask''': You know, when you sent our soldiers to Vietnam without the weapons they needed to win the war, you underestimated your enemy. You do that with this enemy and it won't be some border skirmish halfway around the world. This time, the war will be for our streets, our cities, our homes. By the time you see the need for my program, it'll be too late and you'll have lost two wars in one lifetime. :'''Brickman''': We're sorry Dr. Trask, but your Sentinel Program... it ain't gonna fly! <hr width="50%"/> :''[In the elevator in the Pentagon's prison, Quicksilver changes clothes while Erik tries to catch his breath.]'' :'''Peter Maximoff''': It'll pass, it happens to everyone. You must've done something serious. What you do? What you do? What you do? Why did they have you in there? :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': For [[w:Assassination of John F. Kennedy|killing the President]]. :'''Peter''': Oh… ''[mouths quietly to the taped up guard, who undeniably understands his shock]'' Shit! :'''Erik''': If there's one thing I'm guilty of, it's fighting for people like us. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': How did you lose them? :'''Charles Xavier''': The treatment for my spine affects my DNA. :'''Erik''': You sacrificed your powers so you could ''walk''? :'''Charles''': I sacrificed my powers so I could ''sleep. [angrily]'' What do you know about it? :'''Erik''': I've lost my fair share. :'''Charles''': ''[laughs coldly]'' Dry your eyes, Erik. ''[angrily]'' It doesn't justify what you've done. :'''Erik''': You have no idea what I've done. :'''Charles''': I know you took the things that meant the most to me. :'''Erik''': Well, maybe you should have fought harder for them. :'''Charles''': ''[stands up in rage]'' If you want a fight, Erik, I will give you a fight! :'''Wolverine''': Sit down! :'''Erik''': Let him come. :'''Charles''': ''[seizes Erik by the front of his shirt]'' '''''YOU ABANDONED ME!!!!! YOU TOOK HER AWAY AND YOU ABANDONED ME!!!!!''''' :'''Erik''': Angel, ''[growing angrier as he recites the names]'' Azazel, Emma, Banshee. Mutant brothers and sisters, all dead! ''[Erik's rage begins to affect the plane's stability]'' '''''COUNTLESS OTHERS EXPERIMENTED ON, BUTCHERED!!!!!''''' :'''Hank''': Erik--! :'''Erik''': '''''WHERE WERE ''YOU'', CHARLES?! WE WERE SUPPOSED TO '''''PROTECT''''' THEM!!!!! WHERE WERE YOU WHEN YOUR OWN PEOPLE NEEDED YOU?! HIDING!!!!! YOU AND HANK!!!!! PRETENDING TO BE SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT!!!!!''''' :'''Hank''': ''[trying to maintain control of the plane]'' Erik! :'''Erik''': ''[relinquishes his control of the plane, allowing Hank to regain control]'' You abandoned us all. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Charles''': '' ''[about Mystique]'' How was she? :'''Erik''': '' Strong. Driven. You should be proud of her. She's out there, fighting for our cause! :'''Charles''': '''Your''' cause. The girl I raised, she wasn't capable of killing. :'''Erik''': You didn't raise her, you grew up with her. And she couldn't stay your little girl forever, that's why she left :'''Charles''': ''[angrily]'' She left because ''you'' got inside her head! :'''Erik''': That's not ''my'' power. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Rogue Cut only]'' :'''Professor X''': The walls are made of reinforced steel. :'''Magneto''': In other words, a door. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Dr. Trask meets military representatives from Communist countries before proceeding to the official signing of the [[w:Paris Peace Accords|Paris Peace Accords]]]'' :'''Dr. Bolivar Trask''': Good afternoon, everyone, hello, thank you all for coming. Congratulations on winning this war. Now, I know you all have hands to shake and photos to take downstairs so I will get right to the point. There is a new enemy out there; an enemy that will render your arsenals useless, your armies powerless and your nations defenseless. You'll need a new weapon for this war. ''[begins a slideshow presenting Sentinel schematics]'' I call them 'Sentinels', named after the ancient guardians who stood at the gates of the citadel. They have the aeronautic capabilities of a Harrier jet, armed with guns that can fire off more than two thousand rounds of thermoceramic ammunition per minute. But size, power, speed- you could find that at Lockheed or Boeing. No, what makes the Sentinels so special is the ability to target the mutant X-gene. A genetic guidance system that can lock onto a mark half a mile away and won't trigger unless it has identified the target. With this weapon, there will be ''no'' human collateral damage. If I turn it on, the system couldn't even activate in here ''[the detector starts beeping]''...unless there's a mutant. :''[The Detector stops at Raven who is posing as General Nhuan. Everybody else looks at "him" suspiciously]'' :'''Raven''': ''[disguised as General Nhuan]'' There has to be some kind of mistake. :'''Trask''': My machines don't make mistakes. What are you? <hr width="50%"/> :''[Charles Xavier is exasperated over failing to work Cerebro again after so many years]'' :'''Hank McCoy''': I'll go check the generator. :'''Wolverine''': It's not the machinery, is it! :'''Charles''': I can't do this! :'''Logan''': Yes, you can! :'''Charles''': No, I can't! :'''Wolverine''': You're just a little rusty. :'''Charles''': You don't understand, it's not a question of being "rusty!" I can flip the switches, I can turn the knobs, but my power doesn't come from here ''[points to his head]'', it comes from...''here [points to his heart]''. And it's broken. I feel like one of my students. Helpless. It was a mistake coming down here , it was a mistake freeing Eric, this whole thing has been one bloody mistake! I'm sorry, Logan, but they sent back the wrong man! ''[Xavier starts to leave]'' :'''Wolverine''': You're right! ''[Xavier stops, surprised to hear him admit this]'' Actually, it was supposed to be you. But I was the only one who could physically make the trip. And, uh, I don't even know how long I've got here. But I '''do''' know that a long time ago-well, actually, a long time from now-'''I''' was your most helpless student. And you unlocked ''my'' mind. You showed me what I was, you showed me what I could be. I don't know how to do that for you, you're right, I don't! But I think I know someone who might. Look...into my mind. :'''Charles Xavier''': You saw what I just did to Cerebro! You don't want me inside your head! :'''Wolverine''': ''[amused]'' There's no damage you can do that hasn't already been done, trust me! :'''Charles''': :''[reads Logan's mind and see his torture at the hands of Weapon X, his fragmented memories, the death of Jean Grey, and his hard life.]'' You poor, poor man. :'''Wolverine''': Look past me. :'''Charles''': No, I don't want your suffering, I don't want your future! :'''Wolverine''': Look past my future! Look for '''your''' future. That's it. That's it... :''[Charles reads Logan's mind and appears in the future, where Professor X awaits him.]'' :'''Professor X''': Charles. :'''Charles''': Charles. ''[looks around to see the dire situation that both mutants and humanity face with the Sentinels in 2023.]'' Is this what becomes of us? Erik was right. Humanity does this to us. :'''Professor X''': Not if we show them a better path. :'''Charles''': You still believe? :'''Professor X''': Just because someone stumbles, loses their way, it doesn't mean they're lost forever. Sometimes, we all need a little help. :'''Charles''': I'm not the man I was. I open my mind up, and it almost overwhelms me. :'''Professor X''': You're afraid. And Cerebro knows it. :'''Charles''': All those voices... So much...''pain''. :'''Professor X''': It's not their pain you're afraid of. It's yours, Charles. And as frightening as it may be, that pain will make you stronger. If you allow yourself to feel it, embrace it, it will make you more powerful than you ever imagined. It's the greatest gift we have: to bear their pain without breaking. And it's born from the most human power: hope. ''[shows Charles his school for Mutants, his own compassion, what he fights for which helps ease his past self's mind.]'' Please, Charles, we ''need'' you to hope again. ''[Xavier, stunned, breaks the psychic link]'' :'''Wolverine''': Find what you were looking for? :''[The lights return. Hank enters, having fixed the generator.]'' :'''Hank McCoy''': The power's back on. :'''Charles''': Yes. Yes, it is. :''[Wolverine smiles.]'': <hr width="50%"/> :''[Having unleashed the Sentinel Mark Is, Erik controls a news camera and hold President Nixon, his cabinet and Trask hostage.]'' :'''Erik Lehnsherr''': You built these weapons to destroy us. Why? Because you are afraid of our gifts. Because we are different. Humanity has always feared that which is different, but I am here to tell you, to tell the world, you're right to fear us. We are the future. We are the ones who inherit this earth and anyone who stands in our way, will suffer the same fate as these men you see before you. Today was meant to be a display of your power. Instead I give you a glimpse of the devastation my race can unleash upon yours. Let this be a warning to the world and to my mutant brothers and sisters out there, I say this. No more hiding. No more suffering. You have lived in the shadows of shame and fear for too long. Come out. Join me. Fight together in a brotherhood of our kind, a new tomorrow that starts today. :''[In the future, Blink makes a valiant effort to fend off the Sentinels. She is later killed by them as Magneto begins to succumb to his injury.]'' :'''Magneto''': All those years wasted fighting each other, Charles, to have a precious few of them back. ''[Charles comforts him as the Sentinels begin using their energy beam to break through. Iceman tries to hold them off using his ice powers to barricade the door.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[seeing Cyclops, Jean Grey, and Storm seemingly alive, Logan steps into Professor X's office]'' :'''Wolverine''': You did it. :'''Professor X''': Did what? Logan, don't you have a class to teach? :'''Wolverine''': A class to teach? :'''Professor X''': History. :'''Wolverine''': History. Actually, I could use some help with that. :'''Professor X''': Help with what? :'''Wolverine''': Well, pretty much everything after 1973. ''[The Professor is surprised.]'' I think the history I know is a little different. :'''Professor X''': ''[reads Wolverine's mind and understands what he went through]'' Welcome back. :'''Wolverine''': It's good to see you, Charles. It's good to see everyone. :'''Professor X''': Well, I had a promise to keep. You and I have a lot of catching up to do. :'''Wolverine''': Yeah. :'''Professor X''': What's the last thing you remember? :'''Wolverine''': Drowning. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Back in 1973, as the police rescues a younger Wolverine, an officer on the case reads a newspaper with articles praising Mystique for saving President Nixon from Magneto while others report the Sentinel program's cancellation and Trask's arrest]'' :'''Officer''': What do you want to do with him, Stryker? :'''Raven Darkhölme''': ''[Disguised as a smiling Stryker]'' I'll take it from here. ==Taglines== * His past. Our future. * Every hero, every power will unite. * The future begins. ==Cast== :[[Hugh Jackman]] — [[w:Wolverine (comics)|Logan/Wolverine]] :[[w:James McAvoy|James McAvoy]] / [[Patrick Stewart]] — [[w:Professor X|Charles Xavier / Professor X]] :[[w:Michael Fassbender|Michael Fassbender]] / [[w:Ian Mckellen|Ian Mckellen]] — [[w:Magneto (comics)|Erik Lehnsherr / Magneto]] :[[w:Jennifer Lawrence|Jennifer Lawrence]] — [[w:Mystique (comics)|Raven Darkholme/Mystique]] :[[Halle Berry]] — [[w:Storm (Marvel Comics)|Storm]] :[[w:Nicholas Hoult|Nicholas Hoult]] — [[w:Beast (comics)|Hank/Beast]] :[[w:Anna Paquin|Anna Paquin]] — [[w:Rogue (comics)|Rogue]] :[[w:Elliot Page|Ellen Page]] — [[w:Shadowcat|Kitty Pryde]] :[[w:Peter Dinklage|Peter Dinklage]] — [[w:Bolivar Trask|Dr. Bolivar Trask]] :[[w:Shawn Ashmore|Shawn Ashmore]] — [[w:Iceman (comics)|Bobby/Iceman]] :[[w:Omar Sy|Omar Sy]] — [[w:Bishop (comics)|Bishop]] :[[w:Evan Peters|Evan Peters]] — [[w:Quicksilver (comics)|Peter/Quicksilver]] :[[w:Josh Helman|Josh Helman]] — [[w:William Stryker|Maj. Bill Stryker]] :[[w:Daniel Cudmore|Daniel Cudmore]] — [[w:Colossus (comics)|Colossus]] :[[w:Fan Bingbing|Fan Bingbing]] — [[w:Blink (comics)|Blink]] :[[w:Adan Canto|Adan Canto]] — [[w:Sunspot (comics)|Sunspot]] :[[w:Booboo Stewart|Booboo Stewart]] — [[w:Warpath (comics)|Warpath]] ==See Also== * [[X-Men (comics)]] * [[X-Men (film)|X-Men]] * [[X2 (film)|X-Men 2]] * [[X-Men: The Last Stand|X-Men 3: The Last Stand]] * [[X-Men Origins: Wolverine]] * [[X-Men: First Class]] * [[The Wolverine|Wolverine]] * [[X-Men: Apocalypse]] * [[Logan (film)|Logan]] * [[Dark Phoenix (film)|X-Men: Dark Phoenix]] * [[The New Mutants]] * [[Deadpool & Wolverine]] == External Links == {{wikipedia}} * {{imdb title|id=1877832|title=X-Men: Days of Future Past}} * {{rotten-tomatoes|id=x-men-days-of-future-past|title=X-Men: Days of Future Past}} * [http://www.x-menmovies.com/ ''X-Men: Days of Future Past''] (official site) [[Category:2014 films]] [[Category:2010s American films]] [[Category:Sequel films]] [[Category:Time travel films]] [[Category:Political drama films]] [[Category:Political thriller films]] [[Category:Period films]] [[Category:X-Men films]] [[Category:Films directed by Bryan Singer]] [[Category:Screenplays by Simon Kinberg]] [[Category:Alternate timeline films]] [[Category:Films about shapeshifting]] [[Category:Films based on works by Chris Claremont]] [[Category:Nonlinear narrative films]] 1dfnjhvfn3p5itpi6exjpvm40tltx87 0 161657 3942085 3732044 2026-05-17T15:25:23Z DanielTom 608538 /* Quotes */ Translation of 話說 3942085 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} [[File:Three Kingdoms.png|thumb|The empire, long divided, must unite; long united, must divide. Thus it has ever been.]] '''''[[w:Romance of the Three Kingdoms|Romance of the Three Kingdoms]]''''', attributed to [[w:Luo Guanzhong|Luo Guanzhong]], is a [[w:historical novel|historical novel]] set in the turbulent years towards the [[w:End of the Han dynasty|end]] of the [[w:Han dynasty|Han dynasty]] and the [[w:Three Kingdoms|Three Kingdoms]] period in [[w:History of China|Chinese history]], starting in 169 and ending with the reunification of the land in 280. == Quotes == :<small>English translations are taken from ''Romance of the Three Kingdoms'', trans. [[w:Charles Henry Brewitt-Taylor|C. H. Brewitt-Taylor]] (Shanghai: Kelly & Walsh, 1925), unless otherwise noted.</small> [[File:Three Brothers (Bei, Yu, Fei).jpg|thumb|We three will swear brotherhood and unity of aims and sentiments.]] * 話說天下大勢，分久必合，合久必分。 ** Here begins our tale. '''The empire, long divided, must unite; long united, must divide. Thus it has ever been.''' ** Chapter 1, opening lines (trans. Moss Roberts) ** Variant translations: *** Unity succeeds division and division follows unity. One is bound to be replaced by the other after a long span of time. This is the way with things in the world. **** trans. Yu Sumei *** The world under heaven, after a long period of division, tends to unite; after a long period of union, tends to divide. This has been so since antiquity. **** from [http://threekingdoms.com/001.htm threekingdoms.com] * "The peach trees in the orchard behind the house are just in full flower. Tomorrow we will institute a sacrifice there and solemnly declare our intention before Heaven and Earth, and we three will swear brotherhood and unity of aims and sentiments: Thus will we enter upon our great task." ** Chapter 1; the [[w:Oath of the Peach Garden|Oath of the Peach Garden]]. [[File:Oath of the Peach Garden at Long Corridor.JPG|thumb|<p>不求同年同月同日生，只願同年同月同日死。</p>We ask not the same day of birth, but we seek to die together.]] * "We three—Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei—though of different families, swear brotherhood, and promise mutual help to one end. We will rescue each other in difficulty; we will aid each other in danger. We swear to serve the state and save the people. We ask not the same day of birth, but we seek to die together. May Heaven, the all-ruling, and Earth, the all-producing, read our hearts. If we turn aside from righteousness or forget kindliness, may Heaven and Human smite us!" ** Chapter 1; the Oath of the Peach Garden. ** [[s:Translation:Romance of the Three Kingdoms/Chapter 1|Wikisource]] translation: "When saying the names Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei, although the surnames are different, yet we have come together as brothers. From this day forward, we shall join forces for a common purpose: to save the troubled and to aid the endangered. We shall avenge the nation above, and give peace to the citizenry below. We seek not to be born on the same day, in the same month and in the same year. We merely hope to die on the same day, in the same month and in the same year. May the Gods of Heaven and Earth attest to what is in our hearts. If we should ever do anything to betray our friendship, may heaven and the people of the earth both strike us dead." [[File:Liu Bei Tang.jpg|thumb|They are many and we but few. We can only beat them by superior strategy.]] * "They are many and we but few," said Yuan-te to his brothers. "We can only beat them by superior strategy." ** Chapter 1 * 運籌决算有神功，二虎還須遜一龍。<br />初出便能垂偉績，自應分鼎在孤窮。 ** Though fierce as tigers soldiers be,<br />Battles are won by strategy.<br />A hero comes; he gains renown,<br />Already destined for a crown. ** Chapter 1 * 子治世之能臣，亂世之奸雄也。 ** In peace you are an able subject; in chaos you are a crafty hero! ** Chapter 1; [[w:Xu Shao|Xu Shao]] to [[Cao Cao]]. * 欲除君側宵人亂，须聽朝中智士謀。 ** To get rid of wicked men from your king's side,<br />Then seek counsel from the wise men of the state. ** Chapter 2 (trans. Yu Sumei) * 揚湯止沸，不如去薪；潰痈雖痛，勝於養毒。 ** Now to stop the ebullition of a pot the best way is to withdraw the fire; to cut out an abscess, though painful, is better than to nourish the evil. ** Chapter 3 <!--[[File:Dong Zhuo Portrait.jpg|thumb|A fierce wild beast: If he comes, his prey will be humans!]]--> * A fierce wild beast: If he comes, his prey will be humans! ** Chapter 3 * [[wikt:順我者生，逆我者死|順我者生，逆我者死。]] ** There is life for those who are with me, death for those against! ** Chapter 3; spoken by Dong Zhuo. [[File:Lu Bu murders Ding Yuan.jpg|thumb|<p>良禽擇木而棲，賢臣擇主而事。</p>The clever bird chooses the branch whereon to perch; the wise servant selects the master to serve.]] * "If I could only find a master to serve," said Lu Bu.<br />"The clever bird chooses the branch whereon to perch; the wise servant selects the master to serve. Seize the chance when it comes, for repentance ever comes too late." ** Chapter 3 * 天地易兮日月翻，棄萬乘兮退守藩。<br />為臣逼兮命不久，大勢去兮空淚潸！ ** The heaven and earth are changed,<br />Alas! the sun and the moon leave their courses,<br />I, once the center of all eyes, am driven to the farthest confines,<br />Oppressed by an arrogant minister my life nears its end,<br />Everything fails me and vain are my falling tears. ** Chapter 4 * 皇天將崩兮后土颓；身為帝姬兮命不随。<br />生死異路兮從此畢：奈何茕速兮心中悲！ ** Heaven is to be rent asunder, Earth to fall away,<br />I, handmaid of an emperor, would grieve if I followed him not.<br />We have come to the parting of ways, the quick and the dead walk not together;<br />Alas! I am left alone with the grief in my heart. ** Chapter 4 * 燕雀安知鴻鵠志哉？ ** How can swallows and sparrows understand the flight of the crane and the wild goose? ** Chapter 4 [[File:Cao Cao Portrait ROTK.jpg|thumb|<p>寧教我負天下人，休教天下人負我。</p>Rather we let down the world than the world let us down!]] * 寧教我負天下人，休教天下人負我。 ** Rather we let down the world than the world let us down! ** Chapter 4 * Lu Bu stood forth and said, "Do not fear, my father. I look upon all the lords beyond the Pass as so much stubble. And with the warriors of our fierce army, I will put everyone of them to death and hang their heads at the gates of the capital!"<br />"With your aid I can sleep secure!" said Dong Zhuo.<br />But someone behind Lu Bu broke in upon his speech, saying, "An ox-cleaver to kill a chicken! There is no need for the General to go: I will cut off their heads as easily as I would take a thing out of my pocket!" ** Chapter 5 * 吾有上將潘鳳，可斬華雄。 ** I have a brave warrior among my army. Pan Feng is his name, and he could slay this Hua Xiong. ** Chapter 5 * 人中呂布，馬中赤兔。 ** Lu Bu was the man among humans, as Red Hare was the horse among horses. ** Chapter 5 * 天下動之至易，安之至難。 ** It is easy to alarm them but difficult to pacify them. ** Chapter 6 * 豎子不足與謀! * Those unworthy people cannot discuss worthy thing! ** Chapter 6 <!--[[File:Cao Hong Qing illustration.jpg|thumb|The world can do without Cao Hong, but not without you, my lord!]]--> * Just then a horseman came, riding at full speed and whirling his sword up, cut down both the captors, and rescued Cao Cao. It was Cao Hong.<br />Cao Cao said, "I am doomed, good brother. Go and save yourself!"<br />"My lord, mount my horse quickly! I will go afoot," said Cao Hong.<br />"If those wretches come up, what then?" said Cao Cao.<br />"The world can do without Cao Hong, but not without you, my lord!" ** Chapter 6 <!--[[File:Wang Yun and Diaochan plot the chaining scheme.jpg|thumb|Thy handmaid has promised not to recoil from death itself. You may use my poor self in any way, and I must do my best.]]--> * Thy handmaid has promised not to recoil from death itself. You may use my poor self in any way, and I must do my best. ** Chapter 8; spoken by Diao Chan. * When the guest was very mellow, Wang Yun suddenly said, "Let her come in!"<br />Soon appeared two attendants, dressed in white, leading between them the exquisite and fascinating Diao Chan. ** Chapter 8 <!--[[File:Lu Bu Murders Dong Zhuo Peking Opera.jpg|thumb|When one is born great, one cannot be patient for long under another person's domination.]]--> * "When one is born great, one cannot be patient for long under another person's domination," said Lu Bu. ** Chapter 9 <!--[[File:Cao Cao departs to invade Xu.jpg|thumb|Tao Qian reluctantly sent the army out. From a distance he saw Cao Cao's army spread abroad like frost and rushed far and wide like snow. In their midst was a large white flag and on both sides was written "Vengeance."]]--> * Tao Qian reluctantly sent the army out. From a distance he saw Cao Cao's army spread abroad like frost and rushed far and wide like snow. In their midst was a large white flag and on both sides was written "Vengeance." ** Chapter 10 * 舉杯暢飲情何放，拔劍捐生悔已遲！ ** He raised the cup in pledge,<br />None might say nay;<br />Remorseful, drew the sword,<br />Himself to slay. ** Chapter 14 * 兄弟如手足，妻子如衣服。 衣服破，尚可縫；手足斷，安可續？ ** Brothers are as hands and feet; wives and children are as clothing. You may mend your torn dress, but who can reattach a lost limb? ** Chapter 15; spoken by Liu Bei. * 屈身守分，以待天時，不可與命争也。 ** One must bow to one's lot. It is the will of Heaven, and one cannot struggle against fate. ** Chapter 15 * 溫侯神射世間稀，曾向轅門獨解危。<br />落日果然欺后羿，號猿直欲勝由基。<br />虎筋弦響弓開處，雕羽翅飛箭到時。<br />豹子尾搖穿畫戟，雄兵十萬脫徵衣。 ** O Lu Bu was a wonderful archer,<br />And the arrow he shot sped straight;<br />By hitting the mark he saved his friend<br />That day at his camp gate.<br />Hou Yi, the archer of ancient days,<br />Brought down each mocking sun,<br />And the apes that gibbered to fright Yang Youji<br />Were slain by him, one by one.<br />But we sing of Lu Bu that drew the bow,<br />And his feathered shaft that flew;<br />For one hundred thousand soldiers could doff their mails<br />When he hit the mark so true. ** Chapter 16 * Your rival has ten weak points whereas you have ten strong ones, and, though his army is large, it is not terrible. ** Chapter 18; Guo Jia to Cao Cao. <!--[[File:Xiahou Dun Portrait.jpg|thumb|Essence of my father, blood of my mother, I cannot throw this away!]]--> * Now the division of Cao Cao's army under Xiahou Dun, having marched out in advance, first came into touch with Gao Shun. Xiahou Dun at once rode out with spear set and offered a challenge. It was accepted and the two leaders fought half a hundred bouts. Then Gao Shun began to weaken and had to turn back. He rode round to the rear of his array. Xiahou Dun was not the man to quail, so he followed right into the enemy's country. Then Cao Xing, one of Lu Bu's generals, secretly strung his bow, fitted an arrow and, when Xiahou Dun had come quite near, shot at him. The arrow hit Xiahou Dun full in the left eye. He shrieked, and putting up his head, pulled out the arrow and with it the eye.<br />"Essence of my father, blood of my mother, I cannot throw this away!" cried Xiahou Dun, and he put the eye into his mouth and swallowed it.<br />Then resuming his firm grip of his spear, Xiahou Dun went after this new enemy. There was no escape for Cao Xing. He was overtaken and fell with a fatal spear wound full in the face. Both sides were stricken dumb with amazement. ** Chapter 18 * 今天下英雄，惟使君與操耳！ ** The only heroes in the world are you and I. ** Chapter 21; Cao Cao to Liu Bei. <!--[[File:黃龜理「關聖帝君」木雕.jpg|thumb|Guan Yu quickly mounted, turned down his mighty weapon, and galloped down the hill, his phoenix eyes rounded, and his silkworm eyebrows fiercely bristling. He dashed straight into the enemy's array, and the northern soldiers opened like falling waves and dissolving storms. He made directly for the commander.]]--> * Guan Yu quickly mounted, turned down his mighty weapon, and galloped down the hill, his phoenix eyes rounded, and his silkworm eyebrows fiercely bristling. He dashed straight into the enemy's array, and the northern soldiers opened like falling waves and dissolving storms. He made directly for the commander. ** Chapter 25 * He who wins people, prospers; he who loses them, fails. Your present plan should be to seek people of high aims and farseeing views, and you can establish yourself firmly. ** Chapter 29; Zhou Yu to Sun Quan. *勢弱只因多算勝，兵强却為寡謀亡。 ** In feeling over confident, that's where one's weakness lay;<br />The other bettered him by plans which never went astray. ** Chapter 30 * The last night he spent in Jizhou, Cao Cao went to the eastern corner tower and stood there regarding the sky. His only companion was Xun You.<br />Presently Cao Cao said, "That is a very brilliant glow there in the south. It seems too strong for me to do anything there."<br />"What is there that can oppose your heaven-high prestige?" said Xun You. ** Chapter 33 * 勝負兵家之常，何可自隳其志！ ** Victory and defeat are but ordinary events in a soldier's career, and why should you give up? ** Chapter 31 <!--[[File:Zhuge Liang scth.jpg|thumb|He is a man who overshadows every other in the world.]]--> * "He will not condescend to visit you. You must go to him. But if he consents, you will be as fortunate as the Zhou when they got the aid of Lu Wang, or the Han when Zhang Liang came to help."<br />"How does the unknown compare with yourself?"<br />"With me? Compared with him I am as a worn-out carthorse to a palomino, an old duck to a phoenix. This man often compares himself with the ancient sages Guan Zhong and Yue Yi but, in my opinion, he is far their superior. He has the talent to measure the heavens and mete the earth. He is a man who overshadows every other in the world. ** Chapter 36 * 淡泊以明志，寧静而致遠。 ** By purity inspire the inclination;<br />By repose affect the distant. ** Chapter 37 [[File:Kongming Leaving the Mountains (cropped).jpg|thumb|"If you will not, O Master, what will become of the people?"<br />"General, if you will accept me, I will render what trifling service I can."]] * "Though I be of small repute and scanty virtue," said Liu Bei, "I hope, O Master, you will not despise me for my worthlessness, but will leave this retreat to help me. I will assuredly listen most reverently to your words."<br />Zhuge Liang replied, "I have long been happy on my farm and am fond of my leisure. I fear I cannot obey your command."<br />Liu Bei wept. "If you will not, O Master, what will become of the people?"<br />The tears rolled down unchecked upon the lapel and sleeves of Liu Bei's robe. This proved to Zhuge Liang the sincerity of his desire.<br />Hence, Zhuge Liang said, "General, if you will accept me, I will render what trifling service I can." ** Chapter 38 [[File:Long Corridor-孔明初用兵.jpg|thumb|The plans elaborated in a little chamber decide success over thousands of miles.]] * Do you not understand that the plans elaborated in a little chamber decide success over thousands of miles? ** Chapter 39; spoken by Liu Bei. * Yu Jin rode forward shouting at the top of his voice, "Halt the train!"<br /> Xiahou Dun saw him coming up and asked what was the matter.<br /> Yu Jin said, "The roads here are narrow and difficult. Around us are thick forests. What if they use fire?"<br /> Xiahou Dun's ferocity had then somewhat abated and he turned his steed toward his main body.<br /> Then there arose a shout behind him. A rushing noise came from in the reeds and great tongues of flame shot up here and there. These spread and soon the fire was in "the four quarters and the eight sides," and fanned by a strong wind. ** Chapter 39; the [[w:Battle of Bowang|Battle of Bowang]]. <!--[[File:Zhaoyunfightsatchangban.jpg|thumb|As the men of Cao Cao came pressing on, Zhao Yun drew Cao Cao's own sword to beat them off. Nothing could resist the blue blade sword. Armor, clothing, it went through without effort and blood gushed forth in fountains wherever it struck. So the four generals were soon beaten off, and Zhao Yun was once again free.]]--> * As the men of Cao Cao came pressing on, Zhao Yun drew Cao Cao's own sword to beat them off. Nothing could resist the blue blade sword. Armor, clothing, it went through without effort and blood gushed forth in fountains wherever it struck. So the four generals were soon beaten off, and Zhao Yun was once again free. ** Chapter 41 * 亮借一帆風，直至江東，憑三寸不爛之舌，說南北兩軍互相吞併。 ** I shall borrow a little boat and make a little trip over the river and trust to my little lithe tongue to set north and south at each other's throats. ** Chapter 42; spoken by Zhuge Liang. * 豈亦效書生,區區於筆硯之間,數黑論黃,舞文弄墨而已乎？ ** Would you liken them to your rusty students of books, whose journeyings are comprised between their brush and their inkstone, who spend their days in literary futilities, wasting both time and ink? ** Chapter 43 * I hold a sacred trust from my late lord, Sun Ce. I would not bow the knee to any such as Cao Cao. What I said just now was to see how you stood. I left Poyang Lake with the intention of attacking the north, and nothing can change that intention, not even the sword at my breast or the ax on my neck. ** Chapter 44; [[w:Zhou Yu|Zhou Yu]] to Zhuge Liang. [[File:Long Corridor-草船借箭.JPG|thumb|{{center/s}}<br />「謝丞相箭!」{{center/e}}<br />"We thank you, [[Cao Cao|Sir Prime Minister]], for the arrows!"]] * The naval forces were then lined up shooting on the bank to prevent a landing. Presently the soldiers arrived, and ten thousand and more soldiers were shooting down into the river, where the arrows fell like rain. [...] The whole twenty boats were bristling with arrows on both sides. As they left, Zhuge Liang asked all the crews to shout derisively, "We thank you, Sir Prime Minister, for the arrows!" ** Chapter 46 * Your troops from the north are unused to ships, and the motion makes them ill. If your ships, large and small, were classed and divided into thirties, or fifties, and joined up stem to stem by iron chains and boards spread across them, to say nothing of soldiers being able to pass from one to the next, even horses could move about on them. If this were done, then there would be no fear of the wind and the waves and the rising and falling tides. ** Chapter 47; Pang Tong to Cao Cao. * 欲破曹公，宜用火攻；<br />萬事俱備，只欠東風。 ** To defeat Cao Cao<br />You have to use fire;<br />All are in your wish,<br />But wind from the east. ** Chapter 49 * Huang Gai took his place on the third ship. He merely wore breast armor and carried a keen blade. On his flag were written four large characters "Van Leader Huang Kai". With a fair wind his fleet sailed toward the [[w:Battle of Red Cliffs|Red Cliffs]]. ** Chapter 49 * You see before you one Cao Cao—defeated and weak. I have reached a sad pass, and I trust you, O General, will not forget the kindness of former days. ** Chapter 50 * Soon Lu Su came in, to whom Zhou Yu said, "I simply must fight Liu Bei and Zhuge Liang till it is decided which shall have the upper hand. I must also recapture the cities. Perhaps you can assist me."<br />"It cannot be done," replied Lu Su. "We are now at grips with Cao Cao, and victory or defeat is undecided. Our lord has not been successful in overcoming Hefei. Do not fight near home, or it will be like people of the same household destroying each other. Should Cao Cao take advantage of this position to make a sudden descent, we should be in a parlous condition. Further, you must remember that Liu Bei and Cao Cao are united by the bonds of old friendship. If the pressure becomes too great, Liu Bei may relinquish these cities, offer them to Cao Cao, and join forces with him to attack the south. That would be a real misfortune."<br />"I cannot help being angry," said Zhou Yu, "to think that we should have used our resources for their benefit. They get all the advant ** Chapter 52 * 江山雨霁擁青螺，境界无憂樂最多。<br />昔日英雄凝目處，岩崖依舊抵風波。 ** From the riverside hills the rain clears off,<br />And the black clouds roll away,<br />And this is the place of joy and mirth<br />And never can sorrow stay.<br />And here two heroes of ages past<br />Decided their parts to play,<br />And the lofty heights flung back wind and wave<br />Then, as they do today. ** Chapter 54 * [Sun Quan and Liu Bei] stood both entranced by the beautiful scene. And gradually along the vast river the wind whipped the waves into snowy foam and raised them high toward heaven. And in the midst of the waves appeared a tiny leaf of a boat riding over the waves as if all was perfect calm.<br />"The northern people are riders and the southern people sailors. It is said quite true," sighed Liu Bei. ** Chapter 54 * 既生瑜，何生亮！ ** O God, since you made Zhou Yu, why did you also create Zhuge Liang? ** Chapter 57 * 蒼天既已生公瑾，塵世何須出孔明？ ** Since, O Azure Heaven, ye made Zhou Yu,<br />Why needed Yellow Earth produce a Zhuge Liang? ** Chapter 57 * [[w:Ma Chao|Ma Chao]] ground his teeth and cursed Cao Cao, "Rebel! Betrayer of both prince and people! Murderer of my father and brothers! My hate for you is to the death: The same sky shall not continue to cover us, for I will take you captive and satiate my appetite on your living flesh."<br /> With this he set his spear and rode over toward Cao Cao as if to slay him. But Yu Jin came out from behind and engaged Ma Chao in battle. These two fought some half score bouts, and then Yu Jin had to flee. Zhang He, however, took his place and the two warriors exchanged twenty passes. Then Zhang He, too, ran away.<br /> Next to come forth was Li Tong. Ma Chao's martial prowess was now at its height, and he made short work of Li Tong, who went out of the saddle at the first blow. Then Ma Chao flourished his spear at the troops behind him as a signal for them to come on, which they did like a flood. They overwhelmed Cao Cao's forces, and Ma Chao, Pang De, and Ma Dai rode forward to try to capture Cao Cao. ** Chapter 58 * 良药苦口利于病，忠言逆耳利于行。 ** Good medicine is bitter in the mouth but good for the disease; faithful words offend the ear but are good for the conduct. ** Chapter 60 * 人主幾番存厚道，才臣一意進權謀。 ** Their lord, by argument, they tried<br />From rectitude to turn aside. ** Chapter 60 * 生子當如孫仲謀！ ** That is the sort of son to have! ** Chapter 61<!--; Cao Cao of Sun Quan.--> * 三軍易得，一將難求。 ** An army is easily raised; a leader is hard to find. ** Chapter 70 * 'Chicken tendons' are tasteless things to eat, and yet it is a pity to waste them. ** Chapter 72; spoken by Yang Xiu. * 卿不負孤，孤亦必不負卿也。 ** If you do not turn your back on me, I shall not on you. ** Chapter 74 * 治病須分内外科，世間妙藝苦無多。<br />神威罕及惟關將，聖手能醫說華佗。 ** Here as surgeons, there physicians, all boast their skill;<br />Bitter few are those that cure one when one's really ill.<br />As for superhuman valor rivals Guan Yu had none,<br />So for holy touch in healing Hua Tuo stood alone. ** Chapter 75 * 玉可碎而不可改其白，竹可焚而不可毀其節。 ** Jade may be shattered, but its whiteness remains; bamboo may be burned, but its joints stand straight. ** Chapter 76 * 身雖殞，名可垂於竹帛也。 ** My body may be broken, but my name shall live true in history. ** Chapter 76 * 龍游溝壑遭蝦戲，鳳入牢籠被鳥欺。 ** The dragon in a puddle is the sport of shrimps,<br />The phoenix in a cage is mocked of small birds. ** Chapter 76 * 功首罪魁非两人，遺臭流芳本一身。 ** A man may stand the first in merit; then<br />His crimes may brand him chief of criminals.<br />And so his reputation's fair and foul. ** Chapter 78 * 煮豆燃豆萁，豆在釜中泣。本是同根生，相煎何太急！ ** They were boiling beans on a beanstalk fire;<br />Came a plaintive voice from the pot,<br />"O why, since we sprang from the selfsame root,<br />Should you press me with anger hot?" ** Chapter 79; poem attributed to [[w:Cao Zhi|Cao Zhi]]. * You are many times more clever than Cao Pi, and you must safeguard the kingdom and complete the great work. If my son can be helped, help him. But if he proves a fool, then take the throne yourself and be a ruler. ** Chapter 85; the First Ruler to Zhuge Liang. * 勿以恶小而为之，勿以善小而不为。 ** Do not do evil because it is a small evil; do not leave undone a small good because it is a small good. ** Chapter 85 * In arms even it is best to attack hearts rather than cities; to fight with sentiment is better than to fight with weapons. ** Chapter 87; spoken by Ma Su. * 皓首匹夫！蒼髯老賊！汝即日將歸於九泉之下，何面目見二十四帝乎！ ** Hoary-headed fool! Grey-bearded rebel! This day you descend to the Nine Golden Springs. How will you stand there before the twenty-four emperors of Han? ** Chapter 93 * Do the unexpected; attack the unprepared. ** Chapter 98; spoken by Zhuge Liang. * I shall strive on to the end, but the final result, whether success or failure, whether gain or loss, is beyond my powers to foresee. ** Chapter 98; memorial from Zhuge Liang. * 朝廷養軍千日，用在一時。 ** The state feeds and trains soldiers a thousand days for one hour's service. ** Chapter 100 * 鞠躬盡瘁，死而後已！ ** To achieve this end, he would use the last remnant of his strength and could die content. ** Chapter 102 * 謀事在人，成事在天。不可強也！ ** Human proposes; God disposes. We cannot wrest events to our will. ** Chapter 103; spoken by Zhuge Liang. * 伏願陛下清心寡欲，約己愛民。 ** I desire Your Majesty to cleanse your heart and limit your desires, to practice self-control and to love the people. ** Chapter 104 * What a pity it is that of ten affairs in the world, one always meets with eight or nine vexations! ** Chapter 120; spoken by Yang Hu. * 紛紛世事無窮盡，天數茫茫不可逃。<br />鼎足三分已成夢，後人憑弔空牢騷。 ** All down the ages rings the note of change,<br />For fate so rules it; none escapes its sway.<br />The kingdoms three have vanished as a dream,<br />The useless misery is ours to grieve. ** Chapter 120, Final Poem == Quotes about ''Romance of the Three Kingdoms'' == * The ''San kuo chih yen i'', attributed to one [[w:Luo Guanzhong|Lo Kuanchung]], is an historical novel based upon the wars of the [[w:Three Kingdoms|Three Kingdoms]] which fought for supremacy at the beginning of the third century A.D. It consists mainly of stirring scenes of warfare, of cunning plans by skilful generals, and of doughty deeds by blood-stained warriors. Armies and fleets of countless myriads are from time to time annihilated by one side or another,—all this in an easy and fascinating style, which makes the book an endless joy to old and young alike. If a vote were taken among the people of China as to the greatest among their countless novels, the ''Story of the Three Kingdoms'' would indubitably come out first. ** [[Herbert Giles]], ''A History of Chinese Literature'' (London: W. Heinemann, 1901), p. 277 * ''The Romance of the Three Kingdoms'' is by design a historical narrative rather than a historical novel as we understand the term in the West. Hardly a single character in the book is ahistorical, and there is no plot to speak of beyond the plot of history. Though it borrows from the oral tradition of storytelling, it is clearly far more an epic than a romance. ... It attains the condition of good literature precisely because its slight fictional elaboration of history has restored for us the actuality of history. **[[w:C. T. Hsia|C. T. Hsia]], ''The Classic Chinese Novel: A Critical Introduction'' (New York: Columbia University Press, 1968), pp. 34–35 * ''The Romance of the Three Kingdoms'' is an encyclopedia of political tricks in China, collecting all the political schemes, strategies and subterfuges and demonstrating all their forms. All the political, military, diplomatic and social affairs described in the novel are centered on deception and all the tricks are tricks of deception. ** [[w:Liu Zaifu|Liu Zaifu]], ''A Study of Two Classics'', trans. Shu Yunzhong (Amherst, NY: Cambria Press, 2012) == External links == *{{wikipedia-inline}} * [https://www.shenyunperformingarts.org/learn/article/read/item/eHIdpBl5ReM/level-one/ZiksLpcpL8A/level-two/gCmr9AehjYU/romance-three-kingdoms-chinese-classic.html The Great Chinese Classic: Romance of the Three Kingdoms] at Shen Yun Performing Arts {{DEFAULTSORT:Romance Of The Three Kingdoms}} [[Category:Chinese novels]] [[Category:Historical novels]] q3iy8z24vspxyohovf60rm01ebwklot 3942086 3942085 2026-05-17T15:30:07Z DanielTom 608538 Undid revision [[Special:Diff/3493616|3493616]] by [[Special:Contributions/Math Luk|Math Luk]] ([[User talk:Math Luk|talk]]) unsourced 3942086 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} [[File:Three Kingdoms.png|thumb|The empire, long divided, must unite; long united, must divide. Thus it has ever been.]] '''''[[w:Romance of the Three Kingdoms|Romance of the Three Kingdoms]]''''', attributed to [[w:Luo Guanzhong|Luo Guanzhong]], is a [[w:historical novel|historical novel]] set in the turbulent years towards the [[w:End of the Han dynasty|end]] of the [[w:Han dynasty|Han dynasty]] and the [[w:Three Kingdoms|Three Kingdoms]] period in [[w:History of China|Chinese history]], starting in 169 and ending with the reunification of the land in 280. == Quotes == :<small>English translations are taken from ''Romance of the Three Kingdoms'', trans. [[w:Charles Henry Brewitt-Taylor|C. H. Brewitt-Taylor]] (Shanghai: Kelly & Walsh, 1925), unless otherwise noted.</small> [[File:Three Brothers (Bei, Yu, Fei).jpg|thumb|We three will swear brotherhood and unity of aims and sentiments.]] * 話說天下大勢，分久必合，合久必分。 ** Here begins our tale. '''The empire, long divided, must unite; long united, must divide. Thus it has ever been.''' ** Chapter 1, opening lines (trans. Moss Roberts) ** Variant translations: *** Unity succeeds division and division follows unity. One is bound to be replaced by the other after a long span of time. This is the way with things in the world. **** trans. Yu Sumei *** The world under heaven, after a long period of division, tends to unite; after a long period of union, tends to divide. This has been so since antiquity. **** from [http://threekingdoms.com/001.htm threekingdoms.com] * "The peach trees in the orchard behind the house are just in full flower. Tomorrow we will institute a sacrifice there and solemnly declare our intention before Heaven and Earth, and we three will swear brotherhood and unity of aims and sentiments: Thus will we enter upon our great task." ** Chapter 1; the [[w:Oath of the Peach Garden|Oath of the Peach Garden]]. [[File:Oath of the Peach Garden at Long Corridor.JPG|thumb|<p>不求同年同月同日生，只願同年同月同日死。</p>We ask not the same day of birth, but we seek to die together.]] * "We three—Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei—though of different families, swear brotherhood, and promise mutual help to one end. We will rescue each other in difficulty; we will aid each other in danger. We swear to serve the state and save the people. We ask not the same day of birth, but we seek to die together. May Heaven, the all-ruling, and Earth, the all-producing, read our hearts. If we turn aside from righteousness or forget kindliness, may Heaven and Human smite us!" ** Chapter 1; the Oath of the Peach Garden. ** [[s:Translation:Romance of the Three Kingdoms/Chapter 1|Wikisource]] translation: "When saying the names Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei, although the surnames are different, yet we have come together as brothers. From this day forward, we shall join forces for a common purpose: to save the troubled and to aid the endangered. We shall avenge the nation above, and give peace to the citizenry below. We seek not to be born on the same day, in the same month and in the same year. We merely hope to die on the same day, in the same month and in the same year. May the Gods of Heaven and Earth attest to what is in our hearts. If we should ever do anything to betray our friendship, may heaven and the people of the earth both strike us dead." [[File:Liu Bei Tang.jpg|thumb|They are many and we but few. We can only beat them by superior strategy.]] * "They are many and we but few," said Yuan-te to his brothers. "We can only beat them by superior strategy." ** Chapter 1 * 運籌决算有神功，二虎還須遜一龍。<br />初出便能垂偉績，自應分鼎在孤窮。 ** Though fierce as tigers soldiers be,<br />Battles are won by strategy.<br />A hero comes; he gains renown,<br />Already destined for a crown. ** Chapter 1 * 子治世之能臣，亂世之奸雄也。 ** In peace you are an able subject; in chaos you are a crafty hero! ** Chapter 1; [[w:Xu Shao|Xu Shao]] to [[Cao Cao]]. * 欲除君側宵人亂，须聽朝中智士謀。 ** To get rid of wicked men from your king's side,<br />Then seek counsel from the wise men of the state. ** Chapter 2 (trans. Yu Sumei) * 揚湯止沸，不如去薪；潰痈雖痛，勝於養毒。 ** Now to stop the ebullition of a pot the best way is to withdraw the fire; to cut out an abscess, though painful, is better than to nourish the evil. ** Chapter 3 <!--[[File:Dong Zhuo Portrait.jpg|thumb|A fierce wild beast: If he comes, his prey will be humans!]]--> * A fierce wild beast: If he comes, his prey will be humans! ** Chapter 3 * [[wikt:順我者生，逆我者死|順我者生，逆我者死。]] ** There is life for those who are with me, death for those against! ** Chapter 3; spoken by Dong Zhuo. [[File:Lu Bu murders Ding Yuan.jpg|thumb|<p>良禽擇木而棲，賢臣擇主而事。</p>The clever bird chooses the branch whereon to perch; the wise servant selects the master to serve.]] * "If I could only find a master to serve," said Lu Bu.<br />"The clever bird chooses the branch whereon to perch; the wise servant selects the master to serve. Seize the chance when it comes, for repentance ever comes too late." ** Chapter 3 * 天地易兮日月翻，棄萬乘兮退守藩。<br />為臣逼兮命不久，大勢去兮空淚潸！ ** The heaven and earth are changed,<br />Alas! the sun and the moon leave their courses,<br />I, once the center of all eyes, am driven to the farthest confines,<br />Oppressed by an arrogant minister my life nears its end,<br />Everything fails me and vain are my falling tears. ** Chapter 4 * 皇天將崩兮后土颓；身為帝姬兮命不随。<br />生死異路兮從此畢：奈何茕速兮心中悲！ ** Heaven is to be rent asunder, Earth to fall away,<br />I, handmaid of an emperor, would grieve if I followed him not.<br />We have come to the parting of ways, the quick and the dead walk not together;<br />Alas! I am left alone with the grief in my heart. ** Chapter 4 * 燕雀安知鴻鵠志哉？ ** How can swallows and sparrows understand the flight of the crane and the wild goose? ** Chapter 4 [[File:Cao Cao Portrait ROTK.jpg|thumb|<p>寧教我負天下人，休教天下人負我。</p>Rather we let down the world than the world let us down!]] * 寧教我負天下人，休教天下人負我。 ** Rather we let down the world than the world let us down! ** Chapter 4 * Lu Bu stood forth and said, "Do not fear, my father. I look upon all the lords beyond the Pass as so much stubble. And with the warriors of our fierce army, I will put everyone of them to death and hang their heads at the gates of the capital!"<br />"With your aid I can sleep secure!" said Dong Zhuo.<br />But someone behind Lu Bu broke in upon his speech, saying, "An ox-cleaver to kill a chicken! There is no need for the General to go: I will cut off their heads as easily as I would take a thing out of my pocket!" ** Chapter 5 * 吾有上將潘鳳，可斬華雄。 ** I have a brave warrior among my army. Pan Feng is his name, and he could slay this Hua Xiong. ** Chapter 5 * 人中呂布，馬中赤兔。 ** Lu Bu was the man among humans, as Red Hare was the horse among horses. ** Chapter 5 * 天下動之至易，安之至難。 ** It is easy to alarm them but difficult to pacify them. ** Chapter 6 * 豎子不足與謀! * Those unworthy people cannot discuss worthy thing! ** Chapter 6 <!--[[File:Cao Hong Qing illustration.jpg|thumb|The world can do without Cao Hong, but not without you, my lord!]]--> * Just then a horseman came, riding at full speed and whirling his sword up, cut down both the captors, and rescued Cao Cao. It was Cao Hong.<br />Cao Cao said, "I am doomed, good brother. Go and save yourself!"<br />"My lord, mount my horse quickly! I will go afoot," said Cao Hong.<br />"If those wretches come up, what then?" said Cao Cao.<br />"The world can do without Cao Hong, but not without you, my lord!" ** Chapter 6 <!--[[File:Wang Yun and Diaochan plot the chaining scheme.jpg|thumb|Thy handmaid has promised not to recoil from death itself. You may use my poor self in any way, and I must do my best.]]--> * Thy handmaid has promised not to recoil from death itself. You may use my poor self in any way, and I must do my best. ** Chapter 8; spoken by Diao Chan. * When the guest was very mellow, Wang Yun suddenly said, "Let her come in!"<br />Soon appeared two attendants, dressed in white, leading between them the exquisite and fascinating Diao Chan. ** Chapter 8 <!--[[File:Lu Bu Murders Dong Zhuo Peking Opera.jpg|thumb|When one is born great, one cannot be patient for long under another person's domination.]]--> * "When one is born great, one cannot be patient for long under another person's domination," said Lu Bu. ** Chapter 9 <!--[[File:Cao Cao departs to invade Xu.jpg|thumb|Tao Qian reluctantly sent the army out. From a distance he saw Cao Cao's army spread abroad like frost and rushed far and wide like snow. In their midst was a large white flag and on both sides was written "Vengeance."]]--> * Tao Qian reluctantly sent the army out. From a distance he saw Cao Cao's army spread abroad like frost and rushed far and wide like snow. In their midst was a large white flag and on both sides was written "Vengeance." ** Chapter 10 * 舉杯暢飲情何放，拔劍捐生悔已遲！ ** He raised the cup in pledge,<br />None might say nay;<br />Remorseful, drew the sword,<br />Himself to slay. ** Chapter 14 * 兄弟如手足，妻子如衣服。 衣服破，尚可縫；手足斷，安可續？ ** Brothers are as hands and feet; wives and children are as clothing. You may mend your torn dress, but who can reattach a lost limb? ** Chapter 15; spoken by Liu Bei. * 屈身守分，以待天時，不可與命争也。 ** One must bow to one's lot. It is the will of Heaven, and one cannot struggle against fate. ** Chapter 15 * 溫侯神射世間稀，曾向轅門獨解危。<br />落日果然欺后羿，號猿直欲勝由基。<br />虎筋弦響弓開處，雕羽翅飛箭到時。<br />豹子尾搖穿畫戟，雄兵十萬脫徵衣。 ** O Lu Bu was a wonderful archer,<br />And the arrow he shot sped straight;<br />By hitting the mark he saved his friend<br />That day at his camp gate.<br />Hou Yi, the archer of ancient days,<br />Brought down each mocking sun,<br />And the apes that gibbered to fright Yang Youji<br />Were slain by him, one by one.<br />But we sing of Lu Bu that drew the bow,<br />And his feathered shaft that flew;<br />For one hundred thousand soldiers could doff their mails<br />When he hit the mark so true. ** Chapter 16 * Your rival has ten weak points whereas you have ten strong ones, and, though his army is large, it is not terrible. ** Chapter 18; Guo Jia to Cao Cao. <!--[[File:Xiahou Dun Portrait.jpg|thumb|Essence of my father, blood of my mother, I cannot throw this away!]]--> * Now the division of Cao Cao's army under Xiahou Dun, having marched out in advance, first came into touch with Gao Shun. Xiahou Dun at once rode out with spear set and offered a challenge. It was accepted and the two leaders fought half a hundred bouts. Then Gao Shun began to weaken and had to turn back. He rode round to the rear of his array. Xiahou Dun was not the man to quail, so he followed right into the enemy's country. Then Cao Xing, one of Lu Bu's generals, secretly strung his bow, fitted an arrow and, when Xiahou Dun had come quite near, shot at him. The arrow hit Xiahou Dun full in the left eye. He shrieked, and putting up his head, pulled out the arrow and with it the eye.<br />"Essence of my father, blood of my mother, I cannot throw this away!" cried Xiahou Dun, and he put the eye into his mouth and swallowed it.<br />Then resuming his firm grip of his spear, Xiahou Dun went after this new enemy. There was no escape for Cao Xing. He was overtaken and fell with a fatal spear wound full in the face. Both sides were stricken dumb with amazement. ** Chapter 18 * 今天下英雄，惟使君與操耳！ ** The only heroes in the world are you and I. ** Chapter 21; Cao Cao to Liu Bei. <!--[[File:黃龜理「關聖帝君」木雕.jpg|thumb|Guan Yu quickly mounted, turned down his mighty weapon, and galloped down the hill, his phoenix eyes rounded, and his silkworm eyebrows fiercely bristling. He dashed straight into the enemy's array, and the northern soldiers opened like falling waves and dissolving storms. He made directly for the commander.]]--> * Guan Yu quickly mounted, turned down his mighty weapon, and galloped down the hill, his phoenix eyes rounded, and his silkworm eyebrows fiercely bristling. He dashed straight into the enemy's array, and the northern soldiers opened like falling waves and dissolving storms. He made directly for the commander. ** Chapter 25 * He who wins people, prospers; he who loses them, fails. Your present plan should be to seek people of high aims and farseeing views, and you can establish yourself firmly. ** Chapter 29; Zhou Yu to Sun Quan. *勢弱只因多算勝，兵强却為寡謀亡。 ** In feeling over confident, that's where one's weakness lay;<br />The other bettered him by plans which never went astray. ** Chapter 30 * The last night he spent in Jizhou, Cao Cao went to the eastern corner tower and stood there regarding the sky. His only companion was Xun You.<br />Presently Cao Cao said, "That is a very brilliant glow there in the south. It seems too strong for me to do anything there."<br />"What is there that can oppose your heaven-high prestige?" said Xun You. ** Chapter 33 * 勝負兵家之常，何可自隳其志！ ** Victory and defeat are but ordinary events in a soldier's career, and why should you give up? ** Chapter 31 <!--[[File:Zhuge Liang scth.jpg|thumb|He is a man who overshadows every other in the world.]]--> * "He will not condescend to visit you. You must go to him. But if he consents, you will be as fortunate as the Zhou when they got the aid of Lu Wang, or the Han when Zhang Liang came to help."<br />"How does the unknown compare with yourself?"<br />"With me? Compared with him I am as a worn-out carthorse to a palomino, an old duck to a phoenix. This man often compares himself with the ancient sages Guan Zhong and Yue Yi but, in my opinion, he is far their superior. He has the talent to measure the heavens and mete the earth. He is a man who overshadows every other in the world. ** Chapter 36 * 淡泊以明志，寧静而致遠。 ** By purity inspire the inclination;<br />By repose affect the distant. ** Chapter 37 [[File:Kongming Leaving the Mountains (cropped).jpg|thumb|"If you will not, O Master, what will become of the people?"<br />"General, if you will accept me, I will render what trifling service I can."]] * "Though I be of small repute and scanty virtue," said Liu Bei, "I hope, O Master, you will not despise me for my worthlessness, but will leave this retreat to help me. I will assuredly listen most reverently to your words."<br />Zhuge Liang replied, "I have long been happy on my farm and am fond of my leisure. I fear I cannot obey your command."<br />Liu Bei wept. "If you will not, O Master, what will become of the people?"<br />The tears rolled down unchecked upon the lapel and sleeves of Liu Bei's robe. This proved to Zhuge Liang the sincerity of his desire.<br />Hence, Zhuge Liang said, "General, if you will accept me, I will render what trifling service I can." ** Chapter 38 [[File:Long Corridor-孔明初用兵.jpg|thumb|The plans elaborated in a little chamber decide success over thousands of miles.]] * Do you not understand that the plans elaborated in a little chamber decide success over thousands of miles? ** Chapter 39; spoken by Liu Bei. * Yu Jin rode forward shouting at the top of his voice, "Halt the train!"<br /> Xiahou Dun saw him coming up and asked what was the matter.<br /> Yu Jin said, "The roads here are narrow and difficult. Around us are thick forests. What if they use fire?"<br /> Xiahou Dun's ferocity had then somewhat abated and he turned his steed toward his main body.<br /> Then there arose a shout behind him. A rushing noise came from in the reeds and great tongues of flame shot up here and there. These spread and soon the fire was in "the four quarters and the eight sides," and fanned by a strong wind. ** Chapter 39; the [[w:Battle of Bowang|Battle of Bowang]]. <!--[[File:Zhaoyunfightsatchangban.jpg|thumb|As the men of Cao Cao came pressing on, Zhao Yun drew Cao Cao's own sword to beat them off. Nothing could resist the blue blade sword. Armor, clothing, it went through without effort and blood gushed forth in fountains wherever it struck. So the four generals were soon beaten off, and Zhao Yun was once again free.]]--> * As the men of Cao Cao came pressing on, Zhao Yun drew Cao Cao's own sword to beat them off. Nothing could resist the blue blade sword. Armor, clothing, it went through without effort and blood gushed forth in fountains wherever it struck. So the four generals were soon beaten off, and Zhao Yun was once again free. ** Chapter 41 * 亮借一帆風，直至江東，憑三寸不爛之舌，說南北兩軍互相吞併。 ** I shall borrow a little boat and make a little trip over the river and trust to my little lithe tongue to set north and south at each other's throats. ** Chapter 42; spoken by Zhuge Liang. * 豈亦效書生,區區於筆硯之間,數黑論黃,舞文弄墨而已乎？ ** Would you liken them to your rusty students of books, whose journeyings are comprised between their brush and their inkstone, who spend their days in literary futilities, wasting both time and ink? ** Chapter 43 * I hold a sacred trust from my late lord, Sun Ce. I would not bow the knee to any such as Cao Cao. What I said just now was to see how you stood. I left Poyang Lake with the intention of attacking the north, and nothing can change that intention, not even the sword at my breast or the ax on my neck. ** Chapter 44; [[w:Zhou Yu|Zhou Yu]] to Zhuge Liang. [[File:Long Corridor-草船借箭.JPG|thumb|{{center/s}}<br />「謝丞相箭!」{{center/e}}<br />"We thank you, [[Cao Cao|Sir Prime Minister]], for the arrows!"]] * The naval forces were then lined up shooting on the bank to prevent a landing. Presently the soldiers arrived, and ten thousand and more soldiers were shooting down into the river, where the arrows fell like rain. [...] The whole twenty boats were bristling with arrows on both sides. As they left, Zhuge Liang asked all the crews to shout derisively, "We thank you, Sir Prime Minister, for the arrows!" ** Chapter 46 * Your troops from the north are unused to ships, and the motion makes them ill. If your ships, large and small, were classed and divided into thirties, or fifties, and joined up stem to stem by iron chains and boards spread across them, to say nothing of soldiers being able to pass from one to the next, even horses could move about on them. If this were done, then there would be no fear of the wind and the waves and the rising and falling tides. ** Chapter 47; Pang Tong to Cao Cao. * 欲破曹公，宜用火攻；<br />萬事俱備，只欠東風。 ** To defeat Cao Cao<br />You have to use fire;<br />All are in your wish,<br />But wind from the east. ** Chapter 49 * Huang Gai took his place on the third ship. He merely wore breast armor and carried a keen blade. On his flag were written four large characters "Van Leader Huang Kai". With a fair wind his fleet sailed toward the [[w:Battle of Red Cliffs|Red Cliffs]]. ** Chapter 49 * You see before you one Cao Cao—defeated and weak. I have reached a sad pass, and I trust you, O General, will not forget the kindness of former days. ** Chapter 50 * Soon Lu Su came in, to whom Zhou Yu said, "I simply must fight Liu Bei and Zhuge Liang till it is decided which shall have the upper hand. I must also recapture the cities. Perhaps you can assist me."<br />"It cannot be done," replied Lu Su. "We are now at grips with Cao Cao, and victory or defeat is undecided. Our lord has not been successful in overcoming Hefei. Do not fight near home, or it will be like people of the same household destroying each other. Should Cao Cao take advantage of this position to make a sudden descent, we should be in a parlous condition. Further, you must remember that Liu Bei and Cao Cao are united by the bonds of old friendship. If the pressure becomes too great, Liu Bei may relinquish these cities, offer them to Cao Cao, and join forces with him to attack the south. That would be a real misfortune."<br />"I cannot help being angry," said Zhou Yu, "to think that we should have used our resources for their benefit. They get all the advant ** Chapter 52 * 江山雨霁擁青螺，境界无憂樂最多。<br />昔日英雄凝目處，岩崖依舊抵風波。 ** From the riverside hills the rain clears off,<br />And the black clouds roll away,<br />And this is the place of joy and mirth<br />And never can sorrow stay.<br />And here two heroes of ages past<br />Decided their parts to play,<br />And the lofty heights flung back wind and wave<br />Then, as they do today. ** Chapter 54 * [Sun Quan and Liu Bei] stood both entranced by the beautiful scene. And gradually along the vast river the wind whipped the waves into snowy foam and raised them high toward heaven. And in the midst of the waves appeared a tiny leaf of a boat riding over the waves as if all was perfect calm.<br />"The northern people are riders and the southern people sailors. It is said quite true," sighed Liu Bei. ** Chapter 54 * 既生瑜，何生亮！ ** O God, since you made Zhou Yu, why did you also create Zhuge Liang? ** Chapter 57 * 蒼天既已生公瑾，塵世何須出孔明？ ** Since, O Azure Heaven, ye made Zhou Yu,<br />Why needed Yellow Earth produce a Zhuge Liang? ** Chapter 57 * [[w:Ma Chao|Ma Chao]] ground his teeth and cursed Cao Cao, "Rebel! Betrayer of both prince and people! Murderer of my father and brothers! My hate for you is to the death: The same sky shall not continue to cover us, for I will take you captive and satiate my appetite on your living flesh."<br /> With this he set his spear and rode over toward Cao Cao as if to slay him. But Yu Jin came out from behind and engaged Ma Chao in battle. These two fought some half score bouts, and then Yu Jin had to flee. Zhang He, however, took his place and the two warriors exchanged twenty passes. Then Zhang He, too, ran away.<br /> Next to come forth was Li Tong. Ma Chao's martial prowess was now at its height, and he made short work of Li Tong, who went out of the saddle at the first blow. Then Ma Chao flourished his spear at the troops behind him as a signal for them to come on, which they did like a flood. They overwhelmed Cao Cao's forces, and Ma Chao, Pang De, and Ma Dai rode forward to try to capture Cao Cao. ** Chapter 58 * 良药苦口利于病，忠言逆耳利于行。 ** Good medicine is bitter in the mouth but good for the disease; faithful words offend the ear but are good for the conduct. ** Chapter 60 * 人主幾番存厚道，才臣一意進權謀。 ** Their lord, by argument, they tried<br />From rectitude to turn aside. ** Chapter 60 * 生子當如孫仲謀！ ** That is the sort of son to have! ** Chapter 61<!--; Cao Cao of Sun Quan.--> * 三軍易得，一將難求。 ** An army is easily raised; a leader is hard to find. ** Chapter 70 * 'Chicken tendons' are tasteless things to eat, and yet it is a pity to waste them. ** Chapter 72; spoken by Yang Xiu. * 卿不負孤，孤亦必不負卿也。 ** If you do not turn your back on me, I shall not on you. ** Chapter 74 * 治病須分内外科，世間妙藝苦無多。<br />神威罕及惟關將，聖手能醫說華佗。 ** Here as surgeons, there physicians, all boast their skill;<br />Bitter few are those that cure one when one's really ill.<br />As for superhuman valor rivals Guan Yu had none,<br />So for holy touch in healing Hua Tuo stood alone. ** Chapter 75 * 玉可碎而不可改其白，竹可焚而不可毀其節。 ** Jade may be shattered, but its whiteness remains; bamboo may be burned, but its joints stand straight. ** Chapter 76 * 身雖殞，名可垂於竹帛也。 ** My body may be broken, but my name shall live true in history. ** Chapter 76 * 龍游溝壑遭蝦戲，鳳入牢籠被鳥欺。 ** The dragon in a puddle is the sport of shrimps,<br />The phoenix in a cage is mocked of small birds. ** Chapter 76 * 功首罪魁非两人，遺臭流芳本一身。 ** A man may stand the first in merit; then<br />His crimes may brand him chief of criminals.<br />And so his reputation's fair and foul. ** Chapter 78 * 煮豆燃豆萁，豆在釜中泣。本是同根生，相煎何太急！ ** They were boiling beans on a beanstalk fire;<br />Came a plaintive voice from the pot,<br />"O why, since we sprang from the selfsame root,<br />Should you press me with anger hot?" ** Chapter 79; poem attributed to [[w:Cao Zhi|Cao Zhi]]. * You are many times more clever than Cao Pi, and you must safeguard the kingdom and complete the great work. If my son can be helped, help him. But if he proves a fool, then take the throne yourself and be a ruler. ** Chapter 85; the First Ruler to Zhuge Liang. * 勿以恶小而为之，勿以善小而不为。 ** Do not do evil because it is a small evil; do not leave undone a small good because it is a small good. ** Chapter 85 * In arms even it is best to attack hearts rather than cities; to fight with sentiment is better than to fight with weapons. ** Chapter 87; spoken by Ma Su. * 皓首匹夫！蒼髯老賊！汝即日將歸於九泉之下，何面目見二十四帝乎！ ** You fool and rebel! Mark you, today is your last day. This day even you descend to the Nine Golden Springs. How will you stand before the twenty-four emperors of Latter Han that you will meet there? ** Chapter 93 * Do the unexpected; attack the unprepared. ** Chapter 98; spoken by Zhuge Liang. * I shall strive on to the end, but the final result, whether success or failure, whether gain or loss, is beyond my powers to foresee. ** Chapter 98; memorial from Zhuge Liang. * 朝廷養軍千日，用在一時。 ** The state feeds and trains soldiers a thousand days for one hour's service. ** Chapter 100 * 鞠躬盡瘁，死而後已！ ** To achieve this end, he would use the last remnant of his strength and could die content. ** Chapter 102 * 謀事在人，成事在天。不可強也！ ** Human proposes; God disposes. We cannot wrest events to our will. ** Chapter 103; spoken by Zhuge Liang. * 伏願陛下清心寡欲，約己愛民。 ** I desire Your Majesty to cleanse your heart and limit your desires, to practice self-control and to love the people. ** Chapter 104 * What a pity it is that of ten affairs in the world, one always meets with eight or nine vexations! ** Chapter 120; spoken by Yang Hu. * 紛紛世事無窮盡，天數茫茫不可逃。<br />鼎足三分已成夢，後人憑弔空牢騷。 ** All down the ages rings the note of change,<br />For fate so rules it; none escapes its sway.<br />The kingdoms three have vanished as a dream,<br />The useless misery is ours to grieve. ** Chapter 120, Final Poem == Quotes about ''Romance of the Three Kingdoms'' == * The ''San kuo chih yen i'', attributed to one [[w:Luo Guanzhong|Lo Kuanchung]], is an historical novel based upon the wars of the [[w:Three Kingdoms|Three Kingdoms]] which fought for supremacy at the beginning of the third century A.D. It consists mainly of stirring scenes of warfare, of cunning plans by skilful generals, and of doughty deeds by blood-stained warriors. Armies and fleets of countless myriads are from time to time annihilated by one side or another,—all this in an easy and fascinating style, which makes the book an endless joy to old and young alike. If a vote were taken among the people of China as to the greatest among their countless novels, the ''Story of the Three Kingdoms'' would indubitably come out first. ** [[Herbert Giles]], ''A History of Chinese Literature'' (London: W. Heinemann, 1901), p. 277 * ''The Romance of the Three Kingdoms'' is by design a historical narrative rather than a historical novel as we understand the term in the West. Hardly a single character in the book is ahistorical, and there is no plot to speak of beyond the plot of history. Though it borrows from the oral tradition of storytelling, it is clearly far more an epic than a romance. ... It attains the condition of good literature precisely because its slight fictional elaboration of history has restored for us the actuality of history. **[[w:C. T. Hsia|C. T. Hsia]], ''The Classic Chinese Novel: A Critical Introduction'' (New York: Columbia University Press, 1968), pp. 34–35 * ''The Romance of the Three Kingdoms'' is an encyclopedia of political tricks in China, collecting all the political schemes, strategies and subterfuges and demonstrating all their forms. All the political, military, diplomatic and social affairs described in the novel are centered on deception and all the tricks are tricks of deception. ** [[w:Liu Zaifu|Liu Zaifu]], ''A Study of Two Classics'', trans. Shu Yunzhong (Amherst, NY: Cambria Press, 2012) == External links == *{{wikipedia-inline}} * [https://www.shenyunperformingarts.org/learn/article/read/item/eHIdpBl5ReM/level-one/ZiksLpcpL8A/level-two/gCmr9AehjYU/romance-three-kingdoms-chinese-classic.html The Great Chinese Classic: Romance of the Three Kingdoms] at Shen Yun Performing Arts {{DEFAULTSORT:Romance Of The Three Kingdoms}} [[Category:Chinese novels]] [[Category:Historical novels]] erwfcgj978d045ao0hy177bbyk30fv8 3942087 3942086 2026-05-17T15:33:02Z DanielTom 608538 Undid revision [[Special:Diff/3085157|3085157]] by [[Special:Contributions/CommonsDelinker|CommonsDelinker]] ([[User talk:CommonsDelinker|talk]]) 3942087 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} [[File:Three Kingdoms.png|thumb|The empire, long divided, must unite; long united, must divide. Thus it has ever been.]] '''''[[w:Romance of the Three Kingdoms|Romance of the Three Kingdoms]]''''', attributed to [[w:Luo Guanzhong|Luo Guanzhong]], is a [[w:historical novel|historical novel]] set in the turbulent years towards the [[w:End of the Han dynasty|end]] of the [[w:Han dynasty|Han dynasty]] and the [[w:Three Kingdoms|Three Kingdoms]] period in [[w:History of China|Chinese history]], starting in 169 and ending with the reunification of the land in 280. == Quotes == :<small>English translations are taken from ''Romance of the Three Kingdoms'', trans. [[w:Charles Henry Brewitt-Taylor|C. H. Brewitt-Taylor]] (Shanghai: Kelly & Walsh, 1925), unless otherwise noted.</small> [[File:Three Brothers (Bei, Yu, Fei).jpg|thumb|We three will swear brotherhood and unity of aims and sentiments.]] * 話說天下大勢，分久必合，合久必分。 ** Here begins our tale. '''The empire, long divided, must unite; long united, must divide. Thus it has ever been.''' ** Chapter 1, opening lines (trans. Moss Roberts) ** Variant translations: *** Unity succeeds division and division follows unity. One is bound to be replaced by the other after a long span of time. This is the way with things in the world. **** trans. Yu Sumei *** The world under heaven, after a long period of division, tends to unite; after a long period of union, tends to divide. This has been so since antiquity. **** from [http://threekingdoms.com/001.htm threekingdoms.com] * "The peach trees in the orchard behind the house are just in full flower. Tomorrow we will institute a sacrifice there and solemnly declare our intention before Heaven and Earth, and we three will swear brotherhood and unity of aims and sentiments: Thus will we enter upon our great task." ** Chapter 1; the [[w:Oath of the Peach Garden|Oath of the Peach Garden]]. [[File:Oath of the Peach Garden at Long Corridor.JPG|thumb|<p>不求同年同月同日生，只願同年同月同日死。</p>We ask not the same day of birth, but we seek to die together.]] * "We three—Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei—though of different families, swear brotherhood, and promise mutual help to one end. We will rescue each other in difficulty; we will aid each other in danger. We swear to serve the state and save the people. We ask not the same day of birth, but we seek to die together. May Heaven, the all-ruling, and Earth, the all-producing, read our hearts. If we turn aside from righteousness or forget kindliness, may Heaven and Human smite us!" ** Chapter 1; the Oath of the Peach Garden. ** [[s:Translation:Romance of the Three Kingdoms/Chapter 1|Wikisource]] translation: "When saying the names Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei, although the surnames are different, yet we have come together as brothers. From this day forward, we shall join forces for a common purpose: to save the troubled and to aid the endangered. We shall avenge the nation above, and give peace to the citizenry below. We seek not to be born on the same day, in the same month and in the same year. We merely hope to die on the same day, in the same month and in the same year. May the Gods of Heaven and Earth attest to what is in our hearts. If we should ever do anything to betray our friendship, may heaven and the people of the earth both strike us dead." [[File:Liu Bei Tang.jpg|thumb|They are many and we but few. We can only beat them by superior strategy.]] * "They are many and we but few," said Yuan-te to his brothers. "We can only beat them by superior strategy." ** Chapter 1 * 運籌决算有神功，二虎還須遜一龍。<br />初出便能垂偉績，自應分鼎在孤窮。 ** Though fierce as tigers soldiers be,<br />Battles are won by strategy.<br />A hero comes; he gains renown,<br />Already destined for a crown. ** Chapter 1 * 子治世之能臣，亂世之奸雄也。 ** In peace you are an able subject; in chaos you are a crafty hero! ** Chapter 1; [[w:Xu Shao|Xu Shao]] to [[Cao Cao]]. * 欲除君側宵人亂，须聽朝中智士謀。 ** To get rid of wicked men from your king's side,<br />Then seek counsel from the wise men of the state. ** Chapter 2 (trans. Yu Sumei) * 揚湯止沸，不如去薪；潰痈雖痛，勝於養毒。 ** Now to stop the ebullition of a pot the best way is to withdraw the fire; to cut out an abscess, though painful, is better than to nourish the evil. ** Chapter 3 <!--[[File:Dong Zhuo Portrait.jpg|thumb|A fierce wild beast: If he comes, his prey will be humans!]]--> * A fierce wild beast: If he comes, his prey will be humans! ** Chapter 3 * [[wikt:順我者生，逆我者死|順我者生，逆我者死。]] ** There is life for those who are with me, death for those against! ** Chapter 3; spoken by Dong Zhuo. [[File:Lu Bu murders Ding Yuan.jpg|thumb|<p>良禽擇木而棲，賢臣擇主而事。</p>The clever bird chooses the branch whereon to perch; the wise servant selects the master to serve.]] * "If I could only find a master to serve," said Lu Bu.<br />"The clever bird chooses the branch whereon to perch; the wise servant selects the master to serve. Seize the chance when it comes, for repentance ever comes too late." ** Chapter 3 * 天地易兮日月翻，棄萬乘兮退守藩。<br />為臣逼兮命不久，大勢去兮空淚潸！ ** The heaven and earth are changed,<br />Alas! the sun and the moon leave their courses,<br />I, once the center of all eyes, am driven to the farthest confines,<br />Oppressed by an arrogant minister my life nears its end,<br />Everything fails me and vain are my falling tears. ** Chapter 4 * 皇天將崩兮后土颓；身為帝姬兮命不随。<br />生死異路兮從此畢：奈何茕速兮心中悲！ ** Heaven is to be rent asunder, Earth to fall away,<br />I, handmaid of an emperor, would grieve if I followed him not.<br />We have come to the parting of ways, the quick and the dead walk not together;<br />Alas! I am left alone with the grief in my heart. ** Chapter 4 * 燕雀安知鴻鵠志哉？ ** How can swallows and sparrows understand the flight of the crane and the wild goose? ** Chapter 4 [[File:Cao Cao Portrait ROTK.jpg|thumb|<p>寧教我負天下人，休教天下人負我。</p>Rather we let down the world than the world let us down!]] * 寧教我負天下人，休教天下人負我。 ** Rather we let down the world than the world let us down! ** Chapter 4 * Lu Bu stood forth and said, "Do not fear, my father. I look upon all the lords beyond the Pass as so much stubble. And with the warriors of our fierce army, I will put everyone of them to death and hang their heads at the gates of the capital!"<br />"With your aid I can sleep secure!" said Dong Zhuo.<br />But someone behind Lu Bu broke in upon his speech, saying, "An ox-cleaver to kill a chicken! There is no need for the General to go: I will cut off their heads as easily as I would take a thing out of my pocket!" ** Chapter 5 * 吾有上將潘鳳，可斬華雄。 ** I have a brave warrior among my army. Pan Feng is his name, and he could slay this Hua Xiong. ** Chapter 5 * 人中呂布，馬中赤兔。 ** Lu Bu was the man among humans, as Red Hare was the horse among horses. ** Chapter 5 * 天下動之至易，安之至難。 ** It is easy to alarm them but difficult to pacify them. ** Chapter 6 * 豎子不足與謀! * Those unworthy people cannot discuss worthy thing! ** Chapter 6 <!--[[File:Cao Hong Qing illustration.jpg|thumb|The world can do without Cao Hong, but not without you, my lord!]]--> * Just then a horseman came, riding at full speed and whirling his sword up, cut down both the captors, and rescued Cao Cao. It was Cao Hong.<br />Cao Cao said, "I am doomed, good brother. Go and save yourself!"<br />"My lord, mount my horse quickly! I will go afoot," said Cao Hong.<br />"If those wretches come up, what then?" said Cao Cao.<br />"The world can do without Cao Hong, but not without you, my lord!" ** Chapter 6 <!--[[File:Wang Yun and Diaochan plot the chaining scheme.jpg|thumb|Thy handmaid has promised not to recoil from death itself. You may use my poor self in any way, and I must do my best.]]--> * Thy handmaid has promised not to recoil from death itself. You may use my poor self in any way, and I must do my best. ** Chapter 8; spoken by Diao Chan. * When the guest was very mellow, Wang Yun suddenly said, "Let her come in!"<br />Soon appeared two attendants, dressed in white, leading between them the exquisite and fascinating Diao Chan. ** Chapter 8 <!--[[File:Lu Bu Murders Dong Zhuo Peking Opera.jpg|thumb|When one is born great, one cannot be patient for long under another person's domination.]]--> * "When one is born great, one cannot be patient for long under another person's domination," said Lu Bu. ** Chapter 9 <!--[[File:Cao Cao departs to invade Xu.jpg|thumb|Tao Qian reluctantly sent the army out. From a distance he saw Cao Cao's army spread abroad like frost and rushed far and wide like snow. In their midst was a large white flag and on both sides was written "Vengeance."]]--> * Tao Qian reluctantly sent the army out. From a distance he saw Cao Cao's army spread abroad like frost and rushed far and wide like snow. In their midst was a large white flag and on both sides was written "Vengeance." ** Chapter 10 * 舉杯暢飲情何放，拔劍捐生悔已遲！ ** He raised the cup in pledge,<br />None might say nay;<br />Remorseful, drew the sword,<br />Himself to slay. ** Chapter 14 * 兄弟如手足，妻子如衣服。 衣服破，尚可縫；手足斷，安可續？ ** Brothers are as hands and feet; wives and children are as clothing. You may mend your torn dress, but who can reattach a lost limb? ** Chapter 15; spoken by Liu Bei. * 屈身守分，以待天時，不可與命争也。 ** One must bow to one's lot. It is the will of Heaven, and one cannot struggle against fate. ** Chapter 15 * 溫侯神射世間稀，曾向轅門獨解危。<br />落日果然欺后羿，號猿直欲勝由基。<br />虎筋弦響弓開處，雕羽翅飛箭到時。<br />豹子尾搖穿畫戟，雄兵十萬脫徵衣。 ** O Lu Bu was a wonderful archer,<br />And the arrow he shot sped straight;<br />By hitting the mark he saved his friend<br />That day at his camp gate.<br />Hou Yi, the archer of ancient days,<br />Brought down each mocking sun,<br />And the apes that gibbered to fright Yang Youji<br />Were slain by him, one by one.<br />But we sing of Lu Bu that drew the bow,<br />And his feathered shaft that flew;<br />For one hundred thousand soldiers could doff their mails<br />When he hit the mark so true. ** Chapter 16 * Your rival has ten weak points whereas you have ten strong ones, and, though his army is large, it is not terrible. ** Chapter 18; Guo Jia to Cao Cao. <!--[[File:Xiahou Dun Portrait.jpg|thumb|Essence of my father, blood of my mother, I cannot throw this away!]]--> * Now the division of Cao Cao's army under Xiahou Dun, having marched out in advance, first came into touch with Gao Shun. Xiahou Dun at once rode out with spear set and offered a challenge. It was accepted and the two leaders fought half a hundred bouts. Then Gao Shun began to weaken and had to turn back. He rode round to the rear of his array. Xiahou Dun was not the man to quail, so he followed right into the enemy's country. Then Cao Xing, one of Lu Bu's generals, secretly strung his bow, fitted an arrow and, when Xiahou Dun had come quite near, shot at him. The arrow hit Xiahou Dun full in the left eye. He shrieked, and putting up his head, pulled out the arrow and with it the eye.<br />"Essence of my father, blood of my mother, I cannot throw this away!" cried Xiahou Dun, and he put the eye into his mouth and swallowed it.<br />Then resuming his firm grip of his spear, Xiahou Dun went after this new enemy. There was no escape for Cao Xing. He was overtaken and fell with a fatal spear wound full in the face. Both sides were stricken dumb with amazement. ** Chapter 18 * 今天下英雄，惟使君與操耳！ ** The only heroes in the world are you and I. ** Chapter 21; Cao Cao to Liu Bei. <!--[[File:黃龜理「關聖帝君」木雕.jpg|thumb|Guan Yu quickly mounted, turned down his mighty weapon, and galloped down the hill, his phoenix eyes rounded, and his silkworm eyebrows fiercely bristling. He dashed straight into the enemy's array, and the northern soldiers opened like falling waves and dissolving storms. He made directly for the commander.]]--> * Guan Yu quickly mounted, turned down his mighty weapon, and galloped down the hill, his phoenix eyes rounded, and his silkworm eyebrows fiercely bristling. He dashed straight into the enemy's array, and the northern soldiers opened like falling waves and dissolving storms. He made directly for the commander. ** Chapter 25 * He who wins people, prospers; he who loses them, fails. Your present plan should be to seek people of high aims and farseeing views, and you can establish yourself firmly. ** Chapter 29; Zhou Yu to Sun Quan. *勢弱只因多算勝，兵强却為寡謀亡。 ** In feeling over confident, that's where one's weakness lay;<br />The other bettered him by plans which never went astray. ** Chapter 30 * The last night he spent in Jizhou, Cao Cao went to the eastern corner tower and stood there regarding the sky. His only companion was Xun You.<br />Presently Cao Cao said, "That is a very brilliant glow there in the south. It seems too strong for me to do anything there."<br />"What is there that can oppose your heaven-high prestige?" said Xun You. ** Chapter 33 * 勝負兵家之常，何可自隳其志！ ** Victory and defeat are but ordinary events in a soldier's career, and why should you give up? ** Chapter 31 <!--[[File:Zhuge Liang scth.jpg|thumb|He is a man who overshadows every other in the world.]]--> * "He will not condescend to visit you. You must go to him. But if he consents, you will be as fortunate as the Zhou when they got the aid of Lu Wang, or the Han when Zhang Liang came to help."<br />"How does the unknown compare with yourself?"<br />"With me? Compared with him I am as a worn-out carthorse to a palomino, an old duck to a phoenix. This man often compares himself with the ancient sages Guan Zhong and Yue Yi but, in my opinion, he is far their superior. He has the talent to measure the heavens and mete the earth. He is a man who overshadows every other in the world. ** Chapter 36 * 淡泊以明志，寧静而致遠。 ** By purity inspire the inclination;<br />By repose affect the distant. ** Chapter 37 [[File:Kongming Leaving the Mountains (cropped).jpg|thumb|"If you will not, O Master, what will become of the people?"<br />"General, if you will accept me, I will render what trifling service I can."]] * "Though I be of small repute and scanty virtue," said Liu Bei, "I hope, O Master, you will not despise me for my worthlessness, but will leave this retreat to help me. I will assuredly listen most reverently to your words."<br />Zhuge Liang replied, "I have long been happy on my farm and am fond of my leisure. I fear I cannot obey your command."<br />Liu Bei wept. "If you will not, O Master, what will become of the people?"<br />The tears rolled down unchecked upon the lapel and sleeves of Liu Bei's robe. This proved to Zhuge Liang the sincerity of his desire.<br />Hence, Zhuge Liang said, "General, if you will accept me, I will render what trifling service I can." ** Chapter 38 [[File:Long Corridor-孔明初用兵.jpg|thumb|The plans elaborated in a little chamber decide success over thousands of miles.]] * Do you not understand that the plans elaborated in a little chamber decide success over thousands of miles? ** Chapter 39; spoken by Liu Bei. * Yu Jin rode forward shouting at the top of his voice, "Halt the train!"<br /> Xiahou Dun saw him coming up and asked what was the matter.<br /> Yu Jin said, "The roads here are narrow and difficult. Around us are thick forests. What if they use fire?"<br /> Xiahou Dun's ferocity had then somewhat abated and he turned his steed toward his main body.<br /> Then there arose a shout behind him. A rushing noise came from in the reeds and great tongues of flame shot up here and there. These spread and soon the fire was in "the four quarters and the eight sides," and fanned by a strong wind. ** Chapter 39; the [[w:Battle of Bowang|Battle of Bowang]]. <!--[[File:Zhaoyunfightsatchangban.jpg|thumb|As the men of Cao Cao came pressing on, Zhao Yun drew Cao Cao's own sword to beat them off. Nothing could resist the blue blade sword. Armor, clothing, it went through without effort and blood gushed forth in fountains wherever it struck. So the four generals were soon beaten off, and Zhao Yun was once again free.]]--> * As the men of Cao Cao came pressing on, Zhao Yun drew Cao Cao's own sword to beat them off. Nothing could resist the blue blade sword. Armor, clothing, it went through without effort and blood gushed forth in fountains wherever it struck. So the four generals were soon beaten off, and Zhao Yun was once again free. ** Chapter 41 * 亮借一帆風，直至江東，憑三寸不爛之舌，說南北兩軍互相吞併。 ** I shall borrow a little boat and make a little trip over the river and trust to my little lithe tongue to set north and south at each other's throats. ** Chapter 42; spoken by Zhuge Liang. * 豈亦效書生,區區於筆硯之間,數黑論黃,舞文弄墨而已乎？ ** Would you liken them to your rusty students of books, whose journeyings are comprised between their brush and their inkstone, who spend their days in literary futilities, wasting both time and ink? ** Chapter 43 * I hold a sacred trust from my late lord, Sun Ce. I would not bow the knee to any such as Cao Cao. What I said just now was to see how you stood. I left Poyang Lake with the intention of attacking the north, and nothing can change that intention, not even the sword at my breast or the ax on my neck. ** Chapter 44; [[w:Zhou Yu|Zhou Yu]] to Zhuge Liang. [[File:Long Corridor-草船借箭.JPG|thumb|{{center/s}}<br />「謝丞相箭!」{{center/e}}<br />"We thank you, [[Cao Cao|Sir Prime Minister]], for the arrows!"]] * The naval forces were then lined up shooting on the bank to prevent a landing. Presently the soldiers arrived, and ten thousand and more soldiers were shooting down into the river, where the arrows fell like rain. [...] The whole twenty boats were bristling with arrows on both sides. As they left, Zhuge Liang asked all the crews to shout derisively, "We thank you, Sir Prime Minister, for the arrows!" ** Chapter 46 * Your troops from the north are unused to ships, and the motion makes them ill. If your ships, large and small, were classed and divided into thirties, or fifties, and joined up stem to stem by iron chains and boards spread across them, to say nothing of soldiers being able to pass from one to the next, even horses could move about on them. If this were done, then there would be no fear of the wind and the waves and the rising and falling tides. ** Chapter 47; Pang Tong to Cao Cao. * 欲破曹公，宜用火攻；<br />萬事俱備，只欠東風。 ** To defeat Cao Cao<br />You have to use fire;<br />All are in your wish,<br />But wind from the east. ** Chapter 49 * Huang Gai took his place on the third ship. He merely wore breast armor and carried a keen blade. On his flag were written four large characters "Van Leader Huang Kai". With a fair wind his fleet sailed toward the [[w:Battle of Red Cliffs|Red Cliffs]]. ** Chapter 49 * You see before you one Cao Cao—defeated and weak. I have reached a sad pass, and I trust you, O General, will not forget the kindness of former days. ** Chapter 50 * Soon Lu Su came in, to whom Zhou Yu said, "I simply must fight Liu Bei and Zhuge Liang till it is decided which shall have the upper hand. I must also recapture the cities. Perhaps you can assist me."<br />"It cannot be done," replied Lu Su. "We are now at grips with Cao Cao, and victory or defeat is undecided. Our lord has not been successful in overcoming Hefei. Do not fight near home, or it will be like people of the same household destroying each other. Should Cao Cao take advantage of this position to make a sudden descent, we should be in a parlous condition. Further, you must remember that Liu Bei and Cao Cao are united by the bonds of old friendship. If the pressure becomes too great, Liu Bei may relinquish these cities, offer them to Cao Cao, and join forces with him to attack the south. That would be a real misfortune."<br />"I cannot help being angry," said Zhou Yu, "to think that we should have used our resources for their benefit. They get all the advant ** Chapter 52 * 江山雨霁擁青螺，境界无憂樂最多。<br />昔日英雄凝目處，岩崖依舊抵風波。 ** From the riverside hills the rain clears off,<br />And the black clouds roll away,<br />And this is the place of joy and mirth<br />And never can sorrow stay.<br />And here two heroes of ages past<br />Decided their parts to play,<br />And the lofty heights flung back wind and wave<br />Then, as they do today. ** Chapter 54 * [Sun Quan and Liu Bei] stood both entranced by the beautiful scene. And gradually along the vast river the wind whipped the waves into snowy foam and raised them high toward heaven. And in the midst of the waves appeared a tiny leaf of a boat riding over the waves as if all was perfect calm.<br />"The northern people are riders and the southern people sailors. It is said quite true," sighed Liu Bei. ** Chapter 54 * 既生瑜，何生亮！ ** O God, since you made Zhou Yu, why did you also create Zhuge Liang? ** Chapter 57 * 蒼天既已生公瑾，塵世何須出孔明？ ** Since, O Azure Heaven, ye made Zhou Yu,<br />Why needed Yellow Earth produce a Zhuge Liang? ** Chapter 57 * [[w:Ma Chao|Ma Chao]] ground his teeth and cursed Cao Cao, "Rebel! Betrayer of both prince and people! Murderer of my father and brothers! My hate for you is to the death: The same sky shall not continue to cover us, for I will take you captive and satiate my appetite on your living flesh."<br /> With this he set his spear and rode over toward Cao Cao as if to slay him. But Yu Jin came out from behind and engaged Ma Chao in battle. These two fought some half score bouts, and then Yu Jin had to flee. Zhang He, however, took his place and the two warriors exchanged twenty passes. Then Zhang He, too, ran away.<br /> Next to come forth was Li Tong. Ma Chao's martial prowess was now at its height, and he made short work of Li Tong, who went out of the saddle at the first blow. Then Ma Chao flourished his spear at the troops behind him as a signal for them to come on, which they did like a flood. They overwhelmed Cao Cao's forces, and Ma Chao, Pang De, and Ma Dai rode forward to try to capture Cao Cao. ** Chapter 58 * 良药苦口利于病，忠言逆耳利于行。 ** Good medicine is bitter in the mouth but good for the disease; faithful words offend the ear but are good for the conduct. ** Chapter 60 * 人主幾番存厚道，才臣一意進權謀。 ** Their lord, by argument, they tried<br />From rectitude to turn aside. ** Chapter 60 * 生子當如孫仲謀！ ** That is the sort of son to have! ** Chapter 61<!--; Cao Cao of Sun Quan.--> * 三軍易得，一將難求。 ** An army is easily raised; a leader is hard to find. ** Chapter 70 * 'Chicken tendons' are tasteless things to eat, and yet it is a pity to waste them. ** Chapter 72; spoken by Yang Xiu. * 卿不負孤，孤亦必不負卿也。 ** If you do not turn your back on me, I shall not on you. ** Chapter 74 * 治病須分内外科，世間妙藝苦無多。<br />神威罕及惟關將，聖手能醫說華佗。 ** Here as surgeons, there physicians, all boast their skill;<br />Bitter few are those that cure one when one's really ill.<br />As for superhuman valor rivals Guan Yu had none,<br />So for holy touch in healing Hua Tuo stood alone. ** Chapter 75 * 玉可碎而不可改其白，竹可焚而不可毀其節。 ** Jade may be shattered, but its whiteness remains; bamboo may be burned, but its joints stand straight. ** Chapter 76 * 身雖殞，名可垂於竹帛也。 ** My body may be broken, but my name shall live true in history. ** Chapter 76 * 龍游溝壑遭蝦戲，鳳入牢籠被鳥欺。 ** The dragon in a puddle is the sport of shrimps,<br />The phoenix in a cage is mocked of small birds. ** Chapter 76 * 功首罪魁非两人，遺臭流芳本一身。 ** A man may stand the first in merit; then<br />His crimes may brand him chief of criminals.<br />And so his reputation's fair and foul. ** Chapter 78 * 煮豆燃豆萁，豆在釜中泣。本是同根生，相煎何太急！ ** They were boiling beans on a beanstalk fire;<br />Came a plaintive voice from the pot,<br />"O why, since we sprang from the selfsame root,<br />Should you press me with anger hot?" ** Chapter 79; poem attributed to [[w:Cao Zhi|Cao Zhi]]. * You are many times more clever than Cao Pi, and you must safeguard the kingdom and complete the great work. If my son can be helped, help him. But if he proves a fool, then take the throne yourself and be a ruler. ** Chapter 85; the First Ruler to Zhuge Liang. [[File:Liu Bei Portrait 2.jpg|thumb|Do not do evil because it is a small evil; do not leave undone a small good because it is a small good.]] * 勿以恶小而为之，勿以善小而不为。 ** Do not do evil because it is a small evil; do not leave undone a small good because it is a small good. ** Chapter 85 * In arms even it is best to attack hearts rather than cities; to fight with sentiment is better than to fight with weapons. ** Chapter 87; spoken by Ma Su. * 皓首匹夫！蒼髯老賊！汝即日將歸於九泉之下，何面目見二十四帝乎！ ** You fool and rebel! Mark you, today is your last day. This day even you descend to the Nine Golden Springs. How will you stand before the twenty-four emperors of Latter Han that you will meet there? ** Chapter 93 * Do the unexpected; attack the unprepared. ** Chapter 98; spoken by Zhuge Liang. * I shall strive on to the end, but the final result, whether success or failure, whether gain or loss, is beyond my powers to foresee. ** Chapter 98; memorial from Zhuge Liang. * 朝廷養軍千日，用在一時。 ** The state feeds and trains soldiers a thousand days for one hour's service. ** Chapter 100 * 鞠躬盡瘁，死而後已！ ** To achieve this end, he would use the last remnant of his strength and could die content. ** Chapter 102 * 謀事在人，成事在天。不可強也！ ** Human proposes; God disposes. We cannot wrest events to our will. ** Chapter 103; spoken by Zhuge Liang. * 伏願陛下清心寡欲，約己愛民。 ** I desire Your Majesty to cleanse your heart and limit your desires, to practice self-control and to love the people. ** Chapter 104 * What a pity it is that of ten affairs in the world, one always meets with eight or nine vexations! ** Chapter 120; spoken by Yang Hu. * 紛紛世事無窮盡，天數茫茫不可逃。<br />鼎足三分已成夢，後人憑弔空牢騷。 ** All down the ages rings the note of change,<br />For fate so rules it; none escapes its sway.<br />The kingdoms three have vanished as a dream,<br />The useless misery is ours to grieve. ** Chapter 120, Final Poem == Quotes about ''Romance of the Three Kingdoms'' == * The ''San kuo chih yen i'', attributed to one [[w:Luo Guanzhong|Lo Kuanchung]], is an historical novel based upon the wars of the [[w:Three Kingdoms|Three Kingdoms]] which fought for supremacy at the beginning of the third century A.D. It consists mainly of stirring scenes of warfare, of cunning plans by skilful generals, and of doughty deeds by blood-stained warriors. Armies and fleets of countless myriads are from time to time annihilated by one side or another,—all this in an easy and fascinating style, which makes the book an endless joy to old and young alike. If a vote were taken among the people of China as to the greatest among their countless novels, the ''Story of the Three Kingdoms'' would indubitably come out first. ** [[Herbert Giles]], ''A History of Chinese Literature'' (London: W. Heinemann, 1901), p. 277 * ''The Romance of the Three Kingdoms'' is by design a historical narrative rather than a historical novel as we understand the term in the West. Hardly a single character in the book is ahistorical, and there is no plot to speak of beyond the plot of history. Though it borrows from the oral tradition of storytelling, it is clearly far more an epic than a romance. ... It attains the condition of good literature precisely because its slight fictional elaboration of history has restored for us the actuality of history. **[[w:C. T. Hsia|C. T. Hsia]], ''The Classic Chinese Novel: A Critical Introduction'' (New York: Columbia University Press, 1968), pp. 34–35 * ''The Romance of the Three Kingdoms'' is an encyclopedia of political tricks in China, collecting all the political schemes, strategies and subterfuges and demonstrating all their forms. All the political, military, diplomatic and social affairs described in the novel are centered on deception and all the tricks are tricks of deception. ** [[w:Liu Zaifu|Liu Zaifu]], ''A Study of Two Classics'', trans. Shu Yunzhong (Amherst, NY: Cambria Press, 2012) == External links == *{{wikipedia-inline}} * [https://www.shenyunperformingarts.org/learn/article/read/item/eHIdpBl5ReM/level-one/ZiksLpcpL8A/level-two/gCmr9AehjYU/romance-three-kingdoms-chinese-classic.html The Great Chinese Classic: Romance of the Three Kingdoms] at Shen Yun Performing Arts {{DEFAULTSORT:Romance Of The Three Kingdoms}} [[Category:Chinese novels]] [[Category:Historical novels]] 5atza5lo9dbe7pr7xld0ek9k758utnw 3942088 3942087 2026-05-17T15:42:51Z DanielTom 608538 /* Quotes */ Not famous in Chinese 3942088 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} [[File:Three Kingdoms.png|thumb|The empire, long divided, must unite; long united, must divide. Thus it has ever been.]] '''''[[w:Romance of the Three Kingdoms|Romance of the Three Kingdoms]]''''', attributed to [[w:Luo Guanzhong|Luo Guanzhong]], is a [[w:historical novel|historical novel]] set in the turbulent years towards the [[w:End of the Han dynasty|end]] of the [[w:Han dynasty|Han dynasty]] and the [[w:Three Kingdoms|Three Kingdoms]] period in [[w:History of China|Chinese history]], starting in 169 and ending with the reunification of the land in 280. == Quotes == :<small>English translations are taken from ''Romance of the Three Kingdoms'', trans. [[w:Charles Henry Brewitt-Taylor|C. H. Brewitt-Taylor]] (Shanghai: Kelly & Walsh, 1925), unless otherwise noted.</small> [[File:Three Brothers (Bei, Yu, Fei).jpg|thumb|We three will swear brotherhood and unity of aims and sentiments.]] * 話說天下大勢，分久必合，合久必分。 ** Here begins our tale. '''The empire, long divided, must unite; long united, must divide. Thus it has ever been.''' ** Chapter 1, opening lines (trans. Moss Roberts) ** Variant translations: *** Unity succeeds division and division follows unity. One is bound to be replaced by the other after a long span of time. This is the way with things in the world. **** trans. Yu Sumei *** The world under heaven, after a long period of division, tends to unite; after a long period of union, tends to divide. This has been so since antiquity. **** from [http://threekingdoms.com/001.htm threekingdoms.com] * "The peach trees in the orchard behind the house are just in full flower. Tomorrow we will institute a sacrifice there and solemnly declare our intention before Heaven and Earth, and we three will swear brotherhood and unity of aims and sentiments: Thus will we enter upon our great task." ** Chapter 1; the [[w:Oath of the Peach Garden|Oath of the Peach Garden]]. [[File:Oath of the Peach Garden at Long Corridor.JPG|thumb|<p>不求同年同月同日生，只願同年同月同日死。</p>We ask not the same day of birth, but we seek to die together.]] * "We three—Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei—though of different families, swear brotherhood, and promise mutual help to one end. We will rescue each other in difficulty; we will aid each other in danger. We swear to serve the state and save the people. We ask not the same day of birth, but we seek to die together. May Heaven, the all-ruling, and Earth, the all-producing, read our hearts. If we turn aside from righteousness or forget kindliness, may Heaven and Human smite us!" ** Chapter 1; the Oath of the Peach Garden. ** [[s:Translation:Romance of the Three Kingdoms/Chapter 1|Wikisource]] translation: "When saying the names Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei, although the surnames are different, yet we have come together as brothers. From this day forward, we shall join forces for a common purpose: to save the troubled and to aid the endangered. We shall avenge the nation above, and give peace to the citizenry below. We seek not to be born on the same day, in the same month and in the same year. We merely hope to die on the same day, in the same month and in the same year. May the Gods of Heaven and Earth attest to what is in our hearts. If we should ever do anything to betray our friendship, may heaven and the people of the earth both strike us dead." [[File:Liu Bei Tang.jpg|thumb|They are many and we but few. We can only beat them by superior strategy.]] * "They are many and we but few," said Yuan-te to his brothers. "We can only beat them by superior strategy." ** Chapter 1 * 運籌决算有神功，二虎還須遜一龍。<br />初出便能垂偉績，自應分鼎在孤窮。 ** Though fierce as tigers soldiers be,<br />Battles are won by strategy.<br />A hero comes; he gains renown,<br />Already destined for a crown. ** Chapter 1 * 子治世之能臣，亂世之奸雄也。 ** In peace you are an able subject; in chaos you are a crafty hero! ** Chapter 1; [[w:Xu Shao|Xu Shao]] to [[Cao Cao]]. * 欲除君側宵人亂，须聽朝中智士謀。 ** To get rid of wicked men from your king's side,<br />Then seek counsel from the wise men of the state. ** Chapter 2 (trans. Yu Sumei) * 揚湯止沸，不如去薪；潰痈雖痛，勝於養毒。 ** Now to stop the ebullition of a pot the best way is to withdraw the fire; to cut out an abscess, though painful, is better than to nourish the evil. ** Chapter 3 <!--[[File:Dong Zhuo Portrait.jpg|thumb|A fierce wild beast: If he comes, his prey will be humans!]]--> * A fierce wild beast: If he comes, his prey will be humans! ** Chapter 3 * [[wikt:順我者生，逆我者死|順我者生，逆我者死。]] ** There is life for those who are with me, death for those against! ** Chapter 3; spoken by Dong Zhuo. [[File:Lu Bu murders Ding Yuan.jpg|thumb|<p>良禽擇木而棲，賢臣擇主而事。</p>The clever bird chooses the branch whereon to perch; the wise servant selects the master to serve.]] * "If I could only find a master to serve," said Lu Bu.<br />"The clever bird chooses the branch whereon to perch; the wise servant selects the master to serve. Seize the chance when it comes, for repentance ever comes too late." ** Chapter 3 * 天地易兮日月翻，棄萬乘兮退守藩。<br />為臣逼兮命不久，大勢去兮空淚潸！ ** The heaven and earth are changed,<br />Alas! the sun and the moon leave their courses,<br />I, once the center of all eyes, am driven to the farthest confines,<br />Oppressed by an arrogant minister my life nears its end,<br />Everything fails me and vain are my falling tears. ** Chapter 4 * 皇天將崩兮后土颓；身為帝姬兮命不随。<br />生死異路兮從此畢：奈何茕速兮心中悲！ ** Heaven is to be rent asunder, Earth to fall away,<br />I, handmaid of an emperor, would grieve if I followed him not.<br />We have come to the parting of ways, the quick and the dead walk not together;<br />Alas! I am left alone with the grief in my heart. ** Chapter 4 * 燕雀安知鴻鵠志哉？ ** How can swallows and sparrows understand the flight of the crane and the wild goose? ** Chapter 4 [[File:Cao Cao Portrait ROTK.jpg|thumb|<p>寧教我負天下人，休教天下人負我。</p>Rather we let down the world than the world let us down!]] * 寧教我負天下人，休教天下人負我。 ** Rather we let down the world than the world let us down! ** Chapter 4 * Lu Bu stood forth and said, "Do not fear, my father. I look upon all the lords beyond the Pass as so much stubble. And with the warriors of our fierce army, I will put everyone of them to death and hang their heads at the gates of the capital!"<br />"With your aid I can sleep secure!" said Dong Zhuo.<br />But someone behind Lu Bu broke in upon his speech, saying, "An ox-cleaver to kill a chicken! There is no need for the General to go: I will cut off their heads as easily as I would take a thing out of my pocket!" ** Chapter 5 * 吾有上將潘鳳，可斬華雄。 ** I have a brave warrior among my army. Pan Feng is his name, and he could slay this Hua Xiong. ** Chapter 5 * 人中呂布，馬中赤兔。 ** Lu Bu was the man among humans, as Red Hare was the horse among horses. ** Chapter 5 * 天下動之至易，安之至難。 ** It is easy to alarm them but difficult to pacify them. ** Chapter 6 * 豎子不足與謀! * Those unworthy people cannot discuss worthy thing! ** Chapter 6 <!--[[File:Cao Hong Qing illustration.jpg|thumb|The world can do without Cao Hong, but not without you, my lord!]]--> * Just then a horseman came, riding at full speed and whirling his sword up, cut down both the captors, and rescued Cao Cao. It was Cao Hong.<br />Cao Cao said, "I am doomed, good brother. Go and save yourself!"<br />"My lord, mount my horse quickly! I will go afoot," said Cao Hong.<br />"If those wretches come up, what then?" said Cao Cao.<br />"The world can do without Cao Hong, but not without you, my lord!" ** Chapter 6 <!--[[File:Wang Yun and Diaochan plot the chaining scheme.jpg|thumb|Thy handmaid has promised not to recoil from death itself. You may use my poor self in any way, and I must do my best.]]--> * Thy handmaid has promised not to recoil from death itself. You may use my poor self in any way, and I must do my best. ** Chapter 8; spoken by Diao Chan. * When the guest was very mellow, Wang Yun suddenly said, "Let her come in!"<br />Soon appeared two attendants, dressed in white, leading between them the exquisite and fascinating Diao Chan. ** Chapter 8 <!--[[File:Lu Bu Murders Dong Zhuo Peking Opera.jpg|thumb|When one is born great, one cannot be patient for long under another person's domination.]]--> * "When one is born great, one cannot be patient for long under another person's domination," said Lu Bu. ** Chapter 9 <!--[[File:Cao Cao departs to invade Xu.jpg|thumb|Tao Qian reluctantly sent the army out. From a distance he saw Cao Cao's army spread abroad like frost and rushed far and wide like snow. In their midst was a large white flag and on both sides was written "Vengeance."]]--> * Tao Qian reluctantly sent the army out. From a distance he saw Cao Cao's army spread abroad like frost and rushed far and wide like snow. In their midst was a large white flag and on both sides was written "Vengeance." ** Chapter 10 * 舉杯暢飲情何放，拔劍捐生悔已遲！ ** He raised the cup in pledge,<br />None might say nay;<br />Remorseful, drew the sword,<br />Himself to slay. ** Chapter 14 * 兄弟如手足，妻子如衣服。 衣服破，尚可縫；手足斷，安可續？ ** Brothers are as hands and feet; wives and children are as clothing. You may mend your torn dress, but who can reattach a lost limb? ** Chapter 15; spoken by Liu Bei. * 屈身守分，以待天時，不可與命争也。 ** One must bow to one's lot. It is the will of Heaven, and one cannot struggle against fate. ** Chapter 15 * 溫侯神射世間稀，曾向轅門獨解危。<br />落日果然欺后羿，號猿直欲勝由基。<br />虎筋弦響弓開處，雕羽翅飛箭到時。<br />豹子尾搖穿畫戟，雄兵十萬脫徵衣。 ** O Lu Bu was a wonderful archer,<br />And the arrow he shot sped straight;<br />By hitting the mark he saved his friend<br />That day at his camp gate.<br />Hou Yi, the archer of ancient days,<br />Brought down each mocking sun,<br />And the apes that gibbered to fright Yang Youji<br />Were slain by him, one by one.<br />But we sing of Lu Bu that drew the bow,<br />And his feathered shaft that flew;<br />For one hundred thousand soldiers could doff their mails<br />When he hit the mark so true. ** Chapter 16 * Your rival has ten weak points whereas you have ten strong ones, and, though his army is large, it is not terrible. ** Chapter 18; Guo Jia to Cao Cao. <!--[[File:Xiahou Dun Portrait.jpg|thumb|Essence of my father, blood of my mother, I cannot throw this away!]]--> * Now the division of Cao Cao's army under Xiahou Dun, having marched out in advance, first came into touch with Gao Shun. Xiahou Dun at once rode out with spear set and offered a challenge. It was accepted and the two leaders fought half a hundred bouts. Then Gao Shun began to weaken and had to turn back. He rode round to the rear of his array. Xiahou Dun was not the man to quail, so he followed right into the enemy's country. Then Cao Xing, one of Lu Bu's generals, secretly strung his bow, fitted an arrow and, when Xiahou Dun had come quite near, shot at him. The arrow hit Xiahou Dun full in the left eye. He shrieked, and putting up his head, pulled out the arrow and with it the eye.<br />"Essence of my father, blood of my mother, I cannot throw this away!" cried Xiahou Dun, and he put the eye into his mouth and swallowed it.<br />Then resuming his firm grip of his spear, Xiahou Dun went after this new enemy. There was no escape for Cao Xing. He was overtaken and fell with a fatal spear wound full in the face. Both sides were stricken dumb with amazement. ** Chapter 18 * 今天下英雄，惟使君與操耳！ ** The only heroes in the world are you and I. ** Chapter 21; Cao Cao to Liu Bei. <!--[[File:黃龜理「關聖帝君」木雕.jpg|thumb|Guan Yu quickly mounted, turned down his mighty weapon, and galloped down the hill, his phoenix eyes rounded, and his silkworm eyebrows fiercely bristling. He dashed straight into the enemy's array, and the northern soldiers opened like falling waves and dissolving storms. He made directly for the commander.]]--> * Guan Yu quickly mounted, turned down his mighty weapon, and galloped down the hill, his phoenix eyes rounded, and his silkworm eyebrows fiercely bristling. He dashed straight into the enemy's array, and the northern soldiers opened like falling waves and dissolving storms. He made directly for the commander. ** Chapter 25 * He who wins people, prospers; he who loses them, fails. Your present plan should be to seek people of high aims and farseeing views, and you can establish yourself firmly. ** Chapter 29; Zhou Yu to Sun Quan. *勢弱只因多算勝，兵强却為寡謀亡。 ** In feeling over confident, that's where one's weakness lay;<br />The other bettered him by plans which never went astray. ** Chapter 30 * The last night he spent in Jizhou, Cao Cao went to the eastern corner tower and stood there regarding the sky. His only companion was Xun You.<br />Presently Cao Cao said, "That is a very brilliant glow there in the south. It seems too strong for me to do anything there."<br />"What is there that can oppose your heaven-high prestige?" said Xun You. ** Chapter 33 * 勝負兵家之常，何可自隳其志！ ** Victory and defeat are but ordinary events in a soldier's career, and why should you give up? ** Chapter 31 <!--[[File:Zhuge Liang scth.jpg|thumb|He is a man who overshadows every other in the world.]]--> * "He will not condescend to visit you. You must go to him. But if he consents, you will be as fortunate as the Zhou when they got the aid of Lu Wang, or the Han when Zhang Liang came to help."<br />"How does the unknown compare with yourself?"<br />"With me? Compared with him I am as a worn-out carthorse to a palomino, an old duck to a phoenix. This man often compares himself with the ancient sages Guan Zhong and Yue Yi but, in my opinion, he is far their superior. He has the talent to measure the heavens and mete the earth. He is a man who overshadows every other in the world. ** Chapter 36 * 淡泊以明志，寧静而致遠。 ** By purity inspire the inclination;<br />By repose affect the distant. ** Chapter 37 [[File:Kongming Leaving the Mountains (cropped).jpg|thumb|"If you will not, O Master, what will become of the people?"<br />"General, if you will accept me, I will render what trifling service I can."]] * "Though I be of small repute and scanty virtue," said Liu Bei, "I hope, O Master, you will not despise me for my worthlessness, but will leave this retreat to help me. I will assuredly listen most reverently to your words."<br />Zhuge Liang replied, "I have long been happy on my farm and am fond of my leisure. I fear I cannot obey your command."<br />Liu Bei wept. "If you will not, O Master, what will become of the people?"<br />The tears rolled down unchecked upon the lapel and sleeves of Liu Bei's robe. This proved to Zhuge Liang the sincerity of his desire.<br />Hence, Zhuge Liang said, "General, if you will accept me, I will render what trifling service I can." ** Chapter 38 [[File:Long Corridor-孔明初用兵.jpg|thumb|The plans elaborated in a little chamber decide success over thousands of miles.]] * Do you not understand that the plans elaborated in a little chamber decide success over thousands of miles? ** Chapter 39; spoken by Liu Bei. * Yu Jin rode forward shouting at the top of his voice, "Halt the train!"<br /> Xiahou Dun saw him coming up and asked what was the matter.<br /> Yu Jin said, "The roads here are narrow and difficult. Around us are thick forests. What if they use fire?"<br /> Xiahou Dun's ferocity had then somewhat abated and he turned his steed toward his main body.<br /> Then there arose a shout behind him. A rushing noise came from in the reeds and great tongues of flame shot up here and there. These spread and soon the fire was in "the four quarters and the eight sides," and fanned by a strong wind. ** Chapter 39; the [[w:Battle of Bowang|Battle of Bowang]]. <!--[[File:Zhaoyunfightsatchangban.jpg|thumb|As the men of Cao Cao came pressing on, Zhao Yun drew Cao Cao's own sword to beat them off. Nothing could resist the blue blade sword. Armor, clothing, it went through without effort and blood gushed forth in fountains wherever it struck. So the four generals were soon beaten off, and Zhao Yun was once again free.]]--> * As the men of Cao Cao came pressing on, Zhao Yun drew Cao Cao's own sword to beat them off. Nothing could resist the blue blade sword. Armor, clothing, it went through without effort and blood gushed forth in fountains wherever it struck. So the four generals were soon beaten off, and Zhao Yun was once again free. ** Chapter 41 * 亮借一帆風，直至江東，憑三寸不爛之舌，說南北兩軍互相吞併。 ** I shall borrow a little boat and make a little trip over the river and trust to my little lithe tongue to set north and south at each other's throats. ** Chapter 42; spoken by Zhuge Liang. * 豈亦效書生,區區於筆硯之間,數黑論黃,舞文弄墨而已乎？ ** Would you liken them to your rusty students of books, whose journeyings are comprised between their brush and their inkstone, who spend their days in literary futilities, wasting both time and ink? ** Chapter 43 * I hold a sacred trust from my late lord, Sun Ce. I would not bow the knee to any such as Cao Cao. What I said just now was to see how you stood. I left Poyang Lake with the intention of attacking the north, and nothing can change that intention, not even the sword at my breast or the ax on my neck. ** Chapter 44; [[w:Zhou Yu|Zhou Yu]] to Zhuge Liang. [[File:Long Corridor-草船借箭.JPG|thumb|"We thank you, [[Cao Cao|Sir Prime Minister]], for the arrows!"]] * The naval forces were then lined up shooting on the bank to prevent a landing. Presently the soldiers arrived, and ten thousand and more soldiers were shooting down into the river, where the arrows fell like rain. [...] The whole twenty boats were bristling with arrows on both sides. As they left, Zhuge Liang asked all the crews to shout derisively, "We thank you, Sir Prime Minister, for the arrows!" ** Chapter 46 * Your troops from the north are unused to ships, and the motion makes them ill. If your ships, large and small, were classed and divided into thirties, or fifties, and joined up stem to stem by iron chains and boards spread across them, to say nothing of soldiers being able to pass from one to the next, even horses could move about on them. If this were done, then there would be no fear of the wind and the waves and the rising and falling tides. ** Chapter 47; Pang Tong to Cao Cao. * 欲破曹公，宜用火攻；<br />萬事俱備，只欠東風。 ** To defeat Cao Cao<br />You have to use fire;<br />All are in your wish,<br />But wind from the east. ** Chapter 49 * Huang Gai took his place on the third ship. He merely wore breast armor and carried a keen blade. On his flag were written four large characters "Van Leader Huang Kai". With a fair wind his fleet sailed toward the [[w:Battle of Red Cliffs|Red Cliffs]]. ** Chapter 49 * You see before you one Cao Cao—defeated and weak. I have reached a sad pass, and I trust you, O General, will not forget the kindness of former days. ** Chapter 50 * Soon Lu Su came in, to whom Zhou Yu said, "I simply must fight Liu Bei and Zhuge Liang till it is decided which shall have the upper hand. I must also recapture the cities. Perhaps you can assist me."<br />"It cannot be done," replied Lu Su. "We are now at grips with Cao Cao, and victory or defeat is undecided. Our lord has not been successful in overcoming Hefei. Do not fight near home, or it will be like people of the same household destroying each other. Should Cao Cao take advantage of this position to make a sudden descent, we should be in a parlous condition. Further, you must remember that Liu Bei and Cao Cao are united by the bonds of old friendship. If the pressure becomes too great, Liu Bei may relinquish these cities, offer them to Cao Cao, and join forces with him to attack the south. That would be a real misfortune."<br />"I cannot help being angry," said Zhou Yu, "to think that we should have used our resources for their benefit. They get all the advant ** Chapter 52 * 江山雨霁擁青螺，境界无憂樂最多。<br />昔日英雄凝目處，岩崖依舊抵風波。 ** From the riverside hills the rain clears off,<br />And the black clouds roll away,<br />And this is the place of joy and mirth<br />And never can sorrow stay.<br />And here two heroes of ages past<br />Decided their parts to play,<br />And the lofty heights flung back wind and wave<br />Then, as they do today. ** Chapter 54 * [Sun Quan and Liu Bei] stood both entranced by the beautiful scene. And gradually along the vast river the wind whipped the waves into snowy foam and raised them high toward heaven. And in the midst of the waves appeared a tiny leaf of a boat riding over the waves as if all was perfect calm.<br />"The northern people are riders and the southern people sailors. It is said quite true," sighed Liu Bei. ** Chapter 54 * 既生瑜，何生亮！ ** O God, since you made Zhou Yu, why did you also create Zhuge Liang? ** Chapter 57 * 蒼天既已生公瑾，塵世何須出孔明？ ** Since, O Azure Heaven, ye made Zhou Yu,<br />Why needed Yellow Earth produce a Zhuge Liang? ** Chapter 57 * [[w:Ma Chao|Ma Chao]] ground his teeth and cursed Cao Cao, "Rebel! Betrayer of both prince and people! Murderer of my father and brothers! My hate for you is to the death: The same sky shall not continue to cover us, for I will take you captive and satiate my appetite on your living flesh."<br /> With this he set his spear and rode over toward Cao Cao as if to slay him. But Yu Jin came out from behind and engaged Ma Chao in battle. These two fought some half score bouts, and then Yu Jin had to flee. Zhang He, however, took his place and the two warriors exchanged twenty passes. Then Zhang He, too, ran away.<br /> Next to come forth was Li Tong. Ma Chao's martial prowess was now at its height, and he made short work of Li Tong, who went out of the saddle at the first blow. Then Ma Chao flourished his spear at the troops behind him as a signal for them to come on, which they did like a flood. They overwhelmed Cao Cao's forces, and Ma Chao, Pang De, and Ma Dai rode forward to try to capture Cao Cao. ** Chapter 58 * 良药苦口利于病，忠言逆耳利于行。 ** Good medicine is bitter in the mouth but good for the disease; faithful words offend the ear but are good for the conduct. ** Chapter 60 * 人主幾番存厚道，才臣一意進權謀。 ** Their lord, by argument, they tried<br />From rectitude to turn aside. ** Chapter 60 * 生子當如孫仲謀！ ** That is the sort of son to have! ** Chapter 61<!--; Cao Cao of Sun Quan.--> * 三軍易得，一將難求。 ** An army is easily raised; a leader is hard to find. ** Chapter 70 * 'Chicken tendons' are tasteless things to eat, and yet it is a pity to waste them. ** Chapter 72; spoken by Yang Xiu. * 卿不負孤，孤亦必不負卿也。 ** If you do not turn your back on me, I shall not on you. ** Chapter 74 * 治病須分内外科，世間妙藝苦無多。<br />神威罕及惟關將，聖手能醫說華佗。 ** Here as surgeons, there physicians, all boast their skill;<br />Bitter few are those that cure one when one's really ill.<br />As for superhuman valor rivals Guan Yu had none,<br />So for holy touch in healing Hua Tuo stood alone. ** Chapter 75 * 玉可碎而不可改其白，竹可焚而不可毀其節。 ** Jade may be shattered, but its whiteness remains; bamboo may be burned, but its joints stand straight. ** Chapter 76 * 身雖殞，名可垂於竹帛也。 ** My body may be broken, but my name shall live true in history. ** Chapter 76 * 龍游溝壑遭蝦戲，鳳入牢籠被鳥欺。 ** The dragon in a puddle is the sport of shrimps,<br />The phoenix in a cage is mocked of small birds. ** Chapter 76 * 功首罪魁非两人，遺臭流芳本一身。 ** A man may stand the first in merit; then<br />His crimes may brand him chief of criminals.<br />And so his reputation's fair and foul. ** Chapter 78 * 煮豆燃豆萁，豆在釜中泣。本是同根生，相煎何太急！ ** They were boiling beans on a beanstalk fire;<br />Came a plaintive voice from the pot,<br />"O why, since we sprang from the selfsame root,<br />Should you press me with anger hot?" ** Chapter 79; poem attributed to [[w:Cao Zhi|Cao Zhi]]. * You are many times more clever than Cao Pi, and you must safeguard the kingdom and complete the great work. If my son can be helped, help him. But if he proves a fool, then take the throne yourself and be a ruler. ** Chapter 85; the First Ruler to Zhuge Liang. [[File:Liu Bei Portrait 2.jpg|thumb|Do not do evil because it is a small evil; do not leave undone a small good because it is a small good.]] * 勿以恶小而为之，勿以善小而不为。 ** Do not do evil because it is a small evil; do not leave undone a small good because it is a small good. ** Chapter 85 * In arms even it is best to attack hearts rather than cities; to fight with sentiment is better than to fight with weapons. ** Chapter 87; spoken by Ma Su. * 皓首匹夫！蒼髯老賊！汝即日將歸於九泉之下，何面目見二十四帝乎！ ** You fool and rebel! Mark you, today is your last day. This day even you descend to the Nine Golden Springs. How will you stand before the twenty-four emperors of Latter Han that you will meet there? ** Chapter 93 * Do the unexpected; attack the unprepared. ** Chapter 98; spoken by Zhuge Liang. * I shall strive on to the end, but the final result, whether success or failure, whether gain or loss, is beyond my powers to foresee. ** Chapter 98; memorial from Zhuge Liang. * 朝廷養軍千日，用在一時。 ** The state feeds and trains soldiers a thousand days for one hour's service. ** Chapter 100 * 鞠躬盡瘁，死而後已！ ** To achieve this end, he would use the last remnant of his strength and could die content. ** Chapter 102 * 謀事在人，成事在天。不可強也！ ** Human proposes; God disposes. We cannot wrest events to our will. ** Chapter 103; spoken by Zhuge Liang. * 伏願陛下清心寡欲，約己愛民。 ** I desire Your Majesty to cleanse your heart and limit your desires, to practice self-control and to love the people. ** Chapter 104 * What a pity it is that of ten affairs in the world, one always meets with eight or nine vexations! ** Chapter 120; spoken by Yang Hu. * 紛紛世事無窮盡，天數茫茫不可逃。<br />鼎足三分已成夢，後人憑弔空牢騷。 ** All down the ages rings the note of change,<br />For fate so rules it; none escapes its sway.<br />The kingdoms three have vanished as a dream,<br />The useless misery is ours to grieve. ** Chapter 120, Final Poem == Quotes about ''Romance of the Three Kingdoms'' == * The ''San kuo chih yen i'', attributed to one [[w:Luo Guanzhong|Lo Kuanchung]], is an historical novel based upon the wars of the [[w:Three Kingdoms|Three Kingdoms]] which fought for supremacy at the beginning of the third century A.D. It consists mainly of stirring scenes of warfare, of cunning plans by skilful generals, and of doughty deeds by blood-stained warriors. Armies and fleets of countless myriads are from time to time annihilated by one side or another,—all this in an easy and fascinating style, which makes the book an endless joy to old and young alike. If a vote were taken among the people of China as to the greatest among their countless novels, the ''Story of the Three Kingdoms'' would indubitably come out first. ** [[Herbert Giles]], ''A History of Chinese Literature'' (London: W. Heinemann, 1901), p. 277 * ''The Romance of the Three Kingdoms'' is by design a historical narrative rather than a historical novel as we understand the term in the West. Hardly a single character in the book is ahistorical, and there is no plot to speak of beyond the plot of history. Though it borrows from the oral tradition of storytelling, it is clearly far more an epic than a romance. ... It attains the condition of good literature precisely because its slight fictional elaboration of history has restored for us the actuality of history. **[[w:C. T. Hsia|C. T. Hsia]], ''The Classic Chinese Novel: A Critical Introduction'' (New York: Columbia University Press, 1968), pp. 34–35 * ''The Romance of the Three Kingdoms'' is an encyclopedia of political tricks in China, collecting all the political schemes, strategies and subterfuges and demonstrating all their forms. All the political, military, diplomatic and social affairs described in the novel are centered on deception and all the tricks are tricks of deception. ** [[w:Liu Zaifu|Liu Zaifu]], ''A Study of Two Classics'', trans. Shu Yunzhong (Amherst, NY: Cambria Press, 2012) == External links == *{{wikipedia-inline}} * [https://www.shenyunperformingarts.org/learn/article/read/item/eHIdpBl5ReM/level-one/ZiksLpcpL8A/level-two/gCmr9AehjYU/romance-three-kingdoms-chinese-classic.html The Great Chinese Classic: Romance of the Three Kingdoms] at Shen Yun Performing Arts {{DEFAULTSORT:Romance Of The Three Kingdoms}} [[Category:Chinese novels]] [[Category:Historical novels]] 90am4wt4oaqxo28dq19toivcz73xo48 3942089 3942088 2026-05-17T15:44:06Z DanielTom 608538 Famous in Chinese (every child is taught this) 3942089 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} [[File:Three Kingdoms.png|thumb|The empire, long divided, must unite; long united, must divide. Thus it has ever been.]] '''''[[w:Romance of the Three Kingdoms|Romance of the Three Kingdoms]]''''', attributed to [[w:Luo Guanzhong|Luo Guanzhong]], is a [[w:historical novel|historical novel]] set in the turbulent years towards the [[w:End of the Han dynasty|end]] of the [[w:Han dynasty|Han dynasty]] and the [[w:Three Kingdoms|Three Kingdoms]] period in [[w:History of China|Chinese history]], starting in 169 and ending with the reunification of the land in 280. == Quotes == :<small>English translations are taken from ''Romance of the Three Kingdoms'', trans. [[w:Charles Henry Brewitt-Taylor|C. H. Brewitt-Taylor]] (Shanghai: Kelly & Walsh, 1925), unless otherwise noted.</small> [[File:Three Brothers (Bei, Yu, Fei).jpg|thumb|We three will swear brotherhood and unity of aims and sentiments.]] * 話說天下大勢，分久必合，合久必分。 ** Here begins our tale. '''The empire, long divided, must unite; long united, must divide. Thus it has ever been.''' ** Chapter 1, opening lines (trans. Moss Roberts) ** Variant translations: *** Unity succeeds division and division follows unity. One is bound to be replaced by the other after a long span of time. This is the way with things in the world. **** trans. Yu Sumei *** The world under heaven, after a long period of division, tends to unite; after a long period of union, tends to divide. This has been so since antiquity. **** from [http://threekingdoms.com/001.htm threekingdoms.com] * "The peach trees in the orchard behind the house are just in full flower. Tomorrow we will institute a sacrifice there and solemnly declare our intention before Heaven and Earth, and we three will swear brotherhood and unity of aims and sentiments: Thus will we enter upon our great task." ** Chapter 1; the [[w:Oath of the Peach Garden|Oath of the Peach Garden]]. [[File:Oath of the Peach Garden at Long Corridor.JPG|thumb|<p>不求同年同月同日生，只願同年同月同日死。</p>We ask not the same day of birth, but we seek to die together.]] * "We three—Liu Bei, Guan Yu, and Zhang Fei—though of different families, swear brotherhood, and promise mutual help to one end. We will rescue each other in difficulty; we will aid each other in danger. We swear to serve the state and save the people. We ask not the same day of birth, but we seek to die together. May Heaven, the all-ruling, and Earth, the all-producing, read our hearts. If we turn aside from righteousness or forget kindliness, may Heaven and Human smite us!" ** Chapter 1; the Oath of the Peach Garden. ** [[s:Translation:Romance of the Three Kingdoms/Chapter 1|Wikisource]] translation: "When saying the names Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei, although the surnames are different, yet we have come together as brothers. From this day forward, we shall join forces for a common purpose: to save the troubled and to aid the endangered. We shall avenge the nation above, and give peace to the citizenry below. We seek not to be born on the same day, in the same month and in the same year. We merely hope to die on the same day, in the same month and in the same year. May the Gods of Heaven and Earth attest to what is in our hearts. If we should ever do anything to betray our friendship, may heaven and the people of the earth both strike us dead." [[File:Liu Bei Tang.jpg|thumb|They are many and we but few. We can only beat them by superior strategy.]] * "They are many and we but few," said Yuan-te to his brothers. "We can only beat them by superior strategy." ** Chapter 1 * 運籌决算有神功，二虎還須遜一龍。<br />初出便能垂偉績，自應分鼎在孤窮。 ** Though fierce as tigers soldiers be,<br />Battles are won by strategy.<br />A hero comes; he gains renown,<br />Already destined for a crown. ** Chapter 1 * 子治世之能臣，亂世之奸雄也。 ** In peace you are an able subject; in chaos you are a crafty hero! ** Chapter 1; [[w:Xu Shao|Xu Shao]] to [[Cao Cao]]. * 欲除君側宵人亂，须聽朝中智士謀。 ** To get rid of wicked men from your king's side,<br />Then seek counsel from the wise men of the state. ** Chapter 2 (trans. Yu Sumei) * 揚湯止沸，不如去薪；潰痈雖痛，勝於養毒。 ** Now to stop the ebullition of a pot the best way is to withdraw the fire; to cut out an abscess, though painful, is better than to nourish the evil. ** Chapter 3 <!--[[File:Dong Zhuo Portrait.jpg|thumb|A fierce wild beast: If he comes, his prey will be humans!]]--> * A fierce wild beast: If he comes, his prey will be humans! ** Chapter 3 * [[wikt:順我者生，逆我者死|順我者生，逆我者死。]] ** There is life for those who are with me, death for those against! ** Chapter 3; spoken by Dong Zhuo. [[File:Lu Bu murders Ding Yuan.jpg|thumb|<p>良禽擇木而棲，賢臣擇主而事。</p>The clever bird chooses the branch whereon to perch; the wise servant selects the master to serve.]] * "If I could only find a master to serve," said Lu Bu.<br />"The clever bird chooses the branch whereon to perch; the wise servant selects the master to serve. Seize the chance when it comes, for repentance ever comes too late." ** Chapter 3 * 天地易兮日月翻，棄萬乘兮退守藩。<br />為臣逼兮命不久，大勢去兮空淚潸！ ** The heaven and earth are changed,<br />Alas! the sun and the moon leave their courses,<br />I, once the center of all eyes, am driven to the farthest confines,<br />Oppressed by an arrogant minister my life nears its end,<br />Everything fails me and vain are my falling tears. ** Chapter 4 * 皇天將崩兮后土颓；身為帝姬兮命不随。<br />生死異路兮從此畢：奈何茕速兮心中悲！ ** Heaven is to be rent asunder, Earth to fall away,<br />I, handmaid of an emperor, would grieve if I followed him not.<br />We have come to the parting of ways, the quick and the dead walk not together;<br />Alas! I am left alone with the grief in my heart. ** Chapter 4 * 燕雀安知鴻鵠志哉？ ** How can swallows and sparrows understand the flight of the crane and the wild goose? ** Chapter 4 [[File:Cao Cao Portrait ROTK.jpg|thumb|<p>寧教我負天下人，休教天下人負我。</p>Rather we let down the world than the world let us down!]] * 寧教我負天下人，休教天下人負我。 ** Rather we let down the world than the world let us down! ** Chapter 4 * Lu Bu stood forth and said, "Do not fear, my father. I look upon all the lords beyond the Pass as so much stubble. And with the warriors of our fierce army, I will put everyone of them to death and hang their heads at the gates of the capital!"<br />"With your aid I can sleep secure!" said Dong Zhuo.<br />But someone behind Lu Bu broke in upon his speech, saying, "An ox-cleaver to kill a chicken! There is no need for the General to go: I will cut off their heads as easily as I would take a thing out of my pocket!" ** Chapter 5 * 吾有上將潘鳳，可斬華雄。 ** I have a brave warrior among my army. Pan Feng is his name, and he could slay this Hua Xiong. ** Chapter 5 * 人中呂布，馬中赤兔。 ** Lu Bu was the man among humans, as Red Hare was the horse among horses. ** Chapter 5 * 天下動之至易，安之至難。 ** It is easy to alarm them but difficult to pacify them. ** Chapter 6 * 豎子不足與謀! * Those unworthy people cannot discuss worthy thing! ** Chapter 6 <!--[[File:Cao Hong Qing illustration.jpg|thumb|The world can do without Cao Hong, but not without you, my lord!]]--> * Just then a horseman came, riding at full speed and whirling his sword up, cut down both the captors, and rescued Cao Cao. It was Cao Hong.<br />Cao Cao said, "I am doomed, good brother. Go and save yourself!"<br />"My lord, mount my horse quickly! I will go afoot," said Cao Hong.<br />"If those wretches come up, what then?" said Cao Cao.<br />"The world can do without Cao Hong, but not without you, my lord!" ** Chapter 6 <!--[[File:Wang Yun and Diaochan plot the chaining scheme.jpg|thumb|Thy handmaid has promised not to recoil from death itself. You may use my poor self in any way, and I must do my best.]]--> * Thy handmaid has promised not to recoil from death itself. You may use my poor self in any way, and I must do my best. ** Chapter 8; spoken by Diao Chan. * When the guest was very mellow, Wang Yun suddenly said, "Let her come in!"<br />Soon appeared two attendants, dressed in white, leading between them the exquisite and fascinating Diao Chan. ** Chapter 8 <!--[[File:Lu Bu Murders Dong Zhuo Peking Opera.jpg|thumb|When one is born great, one cannot be patient for long under another person's domination.]]--> * "When one is born great, one cannot be patient for long under another person's domination," said Lu Bu. ** Chapter 9 <!--[[File:Cao Cao departs to invade Xu.jpg|thumb|Tao Qian reluctantly sent the army out. From a distance he saw Cao Cao's army spread abroad like frost and rushed far and wide like snow. In their midst was a large white flag and on both sides was written "Vengeance."]]--> * Tao Qian reluctantly sent the army out. From a distance he saw Cao Cao's army spread abroad like frost and rushed far and wide like snow. In their midst was a large white flag and on both sides was written "Vengeance." ** Chapter 10 * 舉杯暢飲情何放，拔劍捐生悔已遲！ ** He raised the cup in pledge,<br />None might say nay;<br />Remorseful, drew the sword,<br />Himself to slay. ** Chapter 14 * 兄弟如手足，妻子如衣服。 衣服破，尚可縫；手足斷，安可續？ ** Brothers are as hands and feet; wives and children are as clothing. You may mend your torn dress, but who can reattach a lost limb? ** Chapter 15; spoken by Liu Bei. * 屈身守分，以待天時，不可與命争也。 ** One must bow to one's lot. It is the will of Heaven, and one cannot struggle against fate. ** Chapter 15 * 溫侯神射世間稀，曾向轅門獨解危。<br />落日果然欺后羿，號猿直欲勝由基。<br />虎筋弦響弓開處，雕羽翅飛箭到時。<br />豹子尾搖穿畫戟，雄兵十萬脫徵衣。 ** O Lu Bu was a wonderful archer,<br />And the arrow he shot sped straight;<br />By hitting the mark he saved his friend<br />That day at his camp gate.<br />Hou Yi, the archer of ancient days,<br />Brought down each mocking sun,<br />And the apes that gibbered to fright Yang Youji<br />Were slain by him, one by one.<br />But we sing of Lu Bu that drew the bow,<br />And his feathered shaft that flew;<br />For one hundred thousand soldiers could doff their mails<br />When he hit the mark so true. ** Chapter 16 * Your rival has ten weak points whereas you have ten strong ones, and, though his army is large, it is not terrible. ** Chapter 18; Guo Jia to Cao Cao. <!--[[File:Xiahou Dun Portrait.jpg|thumb|Essence of my father, blood of my mother, I cannot throw this away!]]--> * Now the division of Cao Cao's army under Xiahou Dun, having marched out in advance, first came into touch with Gao Shun. Xiahou Dun at once rode out with spear set and offered a challenge. It was accepted and the two leaders fought half a hundred bouts. Then Gao Shun began to weaken and had to turn back. He rode round to the rear of his array. Xiahou Dun was not the man to quail, so he followed right into the enemy's country. Then Cao Xing, one of Lu Bu's generals, secretly strung his bow, fitted an arrow and, when Xiahou Dun had come quite near, shot at him. The arrow hit Xiahou Dun full in the left eye. He shrieked, and putting up his head, pulled out the arrow and with it the eye.<br />"Essence of my father, blood of my mother, I cannot throw this away!" cried Xiahou Dun, and he put the eye into his mouth and swallowed it.<br />Then resuming his firm grip of his spear, Xiahou Dun went after this new enemy. There was no escape for Cao Xing. He was overtaken and fell with a fatal spear wound full in the face. Both sides were stricken dumb with amazement. ** Chapter 18 * 今天下英雄，惟使君與操耳！ ** The only heroes in the world are you and I. ** Chapter 21; Cao Cao to Liu Bei. <!--[[File:黃龜理「關聖帝君」木雕.jpg|thumb|Guan Yu quickly mounted, turned down his mighty weapon, and galloped down the hill, his phoenix eyes rounded, and his silkworm eyebrows fiercely bristling. He dashed straight into the enemy's array, and the northern soldiers opened like falling waves and dissolving storms. He made directly for the commander.]]--> * Guan Yu quickly mounted, turned down his mighty weapon, and galloped down the hill, his phoenix eyes rounded, and his silkworm eyebrows fiercely bristling. He dashed straight into the enemy's array, and the northern soldiers opened like falling waves and dissolving storms. He made directly for the commander. ** Chapter 25 * He who wins people, prospers; he who loses them, fails. Your present plan should be to seek people of high aims and farseeing views, and you can establish yourself firmly. ** Chapter 29; Zhou Yu to Sun Quan. *勢弱只因多算勝，兵强却為寡謀亡。 ** In feeling over confident, that's where one's weakness lay;<br />The other bettered him by plans which never went astray. ** Chapter 30 * The last night he spent in Jizhou, Cao Cao went to the eastern corner tower and stood there regarding the sky. His only companion was Xun You.<br />Presently Cao Cao said, "That is a very brilliant glow there in the south. It seems too strong for me to do anything there."<br />"What is there that can oppose your heaven-high prestige?" said Xun You. ** Chapter 33 * 勝負兵家之常，何可自隳其志！ ** Victory and defeat are but ordinary events in a soldier's career, and why should you give up? ** Chapter 31 <!--[[File:Zhuge Liang scth.jpg|thumb|He is a man who overshadows every other in the world.]]--> * "He will not condescend to visit you. You must go to him. But if he consents, you will be as fortunate as the Zhou when they got the aid of Lu Wang, or the Han when Zhang Liang came to help."<br />"How does the unknown compare with yourself?"<br />"With me? Compared with him I am as a worn-out carthorse to a palomino, an old duck to a phoenix. This man often compares himself with the ancient sages Guan Zhong and Yue Yi but, in my opinion, he is far their superior. He has the talent to measure the heavens and mete the earth. He is a man who overshadows every other in the world. ** Chapter 36 * 淡泊以明志，寧静而致遠。 ** By purity inspire the inclination;<br />By repose affect the distant. ** Chapter 37 [[File:Kongming Leaving the Mountains (cropped).jpg|thumb|"If you will not, O Master, what will become of the people?"<br />"General, if you will accept me, I will render what trifling service I can."]] * "Though I be of small repute and scanty virtue," said Liu Bei, "I hope, O Master, you will not despise me for my worthlessness, but will leave this retreat to help me. I will assuredly listen most reverently to your words."<br />Zhuge Liang replied, "I have long been happy on my farm and am fond of my leisure. I fear I cannot obey your command."<br />Liu Bei wept. "If you will not, O Master, what will become of the people?"<br />The tears rolled down unchecked upon the lapel and sleeves of Liu Bei's robe. This proved to Zhuge Liang the sincerity of his desire.<br />Hence, Zhuge Liang said, "General, if you will accept me, I will render what trifling service I can." ** Chapter 38 [[File:Long Corridor-孔明初用兵.jpg|thumb|The plans elaborated in a little chamber decide success over thousands of miles.]] * Do you not understand that the plans elaborated in a little chamber decide success over thousands of miles? ** Chapter 39; spoken by Liu Bei. * Yu Jin rode forward shouting at the top of his voice, "Halt the train!"<br /> Xiahou Dun saw him coming up and asked what was the matter.<br /> Yu Jin said, "The roads here are narrow and difficult. Around us are thick forests. What if they use fire?"<br /> Xiahou Dun's ferocity had then somewhat abated and he turned his steed toward his main body.<br /> Then there arose a shout behind him. A rushing noise came from in the reeds and great tongues of flame shot up here and there. These spread and soon the fire was in "the four quarters and the eight sides," and fanned by a strong wind. ** Chapter 39; the [[w:Battle of Bowang|Battle of Bowang]]. <!--[[File:Zhaoyunfightsatchangban.jpg|thumb|As the men of Cao Cao came pressing on, Zhao Yun drew Cao Cao's own sword to beat them off. Nothing could resist the blue blade sword. Armor, clothing, it went through without effort and blood gushed forth in fountains wherever it struck. So the four generals were soon beaten off, and Zhao Yun was once again free.]]--> * As the men of Cao Cao came pressing on, Zhao Yun drew Cao Cao's own sword to beat them off. Nothing could resist the blue blade sword. Armor, clothing, it went through without effort and blood gushed forth in fountains wherever it struck. So the four generals were soon beaten off, and Zhao Yun was once again free. ** Chapter 41 * 亮借一帆風，直至江東，憑三寸不爛之舌，說南北兩軍互相吞併。 ** I shall borrow a little boat and make a little trip over the river and trust to my little lithe tongue to set north and south at each other's throats. ** Chapter 42; spoken by Zhuge Liang. * 豈亦效書生,區區於筆硯之間,數黑論黃,舞文弄墨而已乎？ ** Would you liken them to your rusty students of books, whose journeyings are comprised between their brush and their inkstone, who spend their days in literary futilities, wasting both time and ink? ** Chapter 43 * I hold a sacred trust from my late lord, Sun Ce. I would not bow the knee to any such as Cao Cao. What I said just now was to see how you stood. I left Poyang Lake with the intention of attacking the north, and nothing can change that intention, not even the sword at my breast or the ax on my neck. ** Chapter 44; [[w:Zhou Yu|Zhou Yu]] to Zhuge Liang. [[File:Long Corridor-草船借箭.JPG|thumb|"We thank you, [[Cao Cao|Sir Prime Minister]], for the arrows!"]] * The naval forces were then lined up shooting on the bank to prevent a landing. Presently the soldiers arrived, and ten thousand and more soldiers were shooting down into the river, where the arrows fell like rain. [...] The whole twenty boats were bristling with arrows on both sides. As they left, Zhuge Liang asked all the crews to shout derisively, "We thank you, Sir Prime Minister, for the arrows!" ** Chapter 46 * Your troops from the north are unused to ships, and the motion makes them ill. If your ships, large and small, were classed and divided into thirties, or fifties, and joined up stem to stem by iron chains and boards spread across them, to say nothing of soldiers being able to pass from one to the next, even horses could move about on them. If this were done, then there would be no fear of the wind and the waves and the rising and falling tides. ** Chapter 47; Pang Tong to Cao Cao. * 欲破曹公，宜用火攻；<br />萬事俱備，只欠東風。 ** To defeat Cao Cao<br />You have to use fire;<br />All are in your wish,<br />But wind from the east. ** Chapter 49 * Huang Gai took his place on the third ship. He merely wore breast armor and carried a keen blade. On his flag were written four large characters "Van Leader Huang Kai". With a fair wind his fleet sailed toward the [[w:Battle of Red Cliffs|Red Cliffs]]. ** Chapter 49 * You see before you one Cao Cao—defeated and weak. I have reached a sad pass, and I trust you, O General, will not forget the kindness of former days. ** Chapter 50 * Soon Lu Su came in, to whom Zhou Yu said, "I simply must fight Liu Bei and Zhuge Liang till it is decided which shall have the upper hand. I must also recapture the cities. Perhaps you can assist me."<br />"It cannot be done," replied Lu Su. "We are now at grips with Cao Cao, and victory or defeat is undecided. Our lord has not been successful in overcoming Hefei. Do not fight near home, or it will be like people of the same household destroying each other. Should Cao Cao take advantage of this position to make a sudden descent, we should be in a parlous condition. Further, you must remember that Liu Bei and Cao Cao are united by the bonds of old friendship. If the pressure becomes too great, Liu Bei may relinquish these cities, offer them to Cao Cao, and join forces with him to attack the south. That would be a real misfortune."<br />"I cannot help being angry," said Zhou Yu, "to think that we should have used our resources for their benefit. They get all the advant ** Chapter 52 * 江山雨霁擁青螺，境界无憂樂最多。<br />昔日英雄凝目處，岩崖依舊抵風波。 ** From the riverside hills the rain clears off,<br />And the black clouds roll away,<br />And this is the place of joy and mirth<br />And never can sorrow stay.<br />And here two heroes of ages past<br />Decided their parts to play,<br />And the lofty heights flung back wind and wave<br />Then, as they do today. ** Chapter 54 * [Sun Quan and Liu Bei] stood both entranced by the beautiful scene. And gradually along the vast river the wind whipped the waves into snowy foam and raised them high toward heaven. And in the midst of the waves appeared a tiny leaf of a boat riding over the waves as if all was perfect calm.<br />"The northern people are riders and the southern people sailors. It is said quite true," sighed Liu Bei. ** Chapter 54 * 既生瑜，何生亮！ ** O God, since you made Zhou Yu, why did you also create Zhuge Liang? ** Chapter 57 * 蒼天既已生公瑾，塵世何須出孔明？ ** Since, O Azure Heaven, ye made Zhou Yu,<br />Why needed Yellow Earth produce a Zhuge Liang? ** Chapter 57 * [[w:Ma Chao|Ma Chao]] ground his teeth and cursed Cao Cao, "Rebel! Betrayer of both prince and people! Murderer of my father and brothers! My hate for you is to the death: The same sky shall not continue to cover us, for I will take you captive and satiate my appetite on your living flesh."<br /> With this he set his spear and rode over toward Cao Cao as if to slay him. But Yu Jin came out from behind and engaged Ma Chao in battle. These two fought some half score bouts, and then Yu Jin had to flee. Zhang He, however, took his place and the two warriors exchanged twenty passes. Then Zhang He, too, ran away.<br /> Next to come forth was Li Tong. Ma Chao's martial prowess was now at its height, and he made short work of Li Tong, who went out of the saddle at the first blow. Then Ma Chao flourished his spear at the troops behind him as a signal for them to come on, which they did like a flood. They overwhelmed Cao Cao's forces, and Ma Chao, Pang De, and Ma Dai rode forward to try to capture Cao Cao. ** Chapter 58 * 良药苦口利于病，忠言逆耳利于行。 ** Good medicine is bitter in the mouth but good for the disease; faithful words offend the ear but are good for the conduct. ** Chapter 60 * 人主幾番存厚道，才臣一意進權謀。 ** Their lord, by argument, they tried<br />From rectitude to turn aside. ** Chapter 60 * 生子當如孫仲謀！ ** That is the sort of son to have! ** Chapter 61<!--; Cao Cao of Sun Quan.--> * 三軍易得，一將難求。 ** An army is easily raised; a leader is hard to find. ** Chapter 70 * 'Chicken tendons' are tasteless things to eat, and yet it is a pity to waste them. ** Chapter 72; spoken by Yang Xiu. * 卿不負孤，孤亦必不負卿也。 ** If you do not turn your back on me, I shall not on you. ** Chapter 74 * 治病須分内外科，世間妙藝苦無多。<br />神威罕及惟關將，聖手能醫說華佗。 ** Here as surgeons, there physicians, all boast their skill;<br />Bitter few are those that cure one when one's really ill.<br />As for superhuman valor rivals Guan Yu had none,<br />So for holy touch in healing Hua Tuo stood alone. ** Chapter 75 * 玉可碎而不可改其白，竹可焚而不可毀其節。 ** Jade may be shattered, but its whiteness remains; bamboo may be burned, but its joints stand straight. ** Chapter 76 * 身雖殞，名可垂於竹帛也。 ** My body may be broken, but my name shall live true in history. ** Chapter 76 * 龍游溝壑遭蝦戲，鳳入牢籠被鳥欺。 ** The dragon in a puddle is the sport of shrimps,<br />The phoenix in a cage is mocked of small birds. ** Chapter 76 * 功首罪魁非两人，遺臭流芳本一身。 ** A man may stand the first in merit; then<br />His crimes may brand him chief of criminals.<br />And so his reputation's fair and foul. ** Chapter 78 * 煮豆燃豆萁，豆在釜中泣。本是同根生，相煎何太急！ ** They were boiling beans on a beanstalk fire;<br />Came a plaintive voice from the pot,<br />"O why, since we sprang from the selfsame root,<br />Should you press me with anger hot?" ** Chapter 79; poem attributed to [[w:Cao Zhi|Cao Zhi]]. * You are many times more clever than Cao Pi, and you must safeguard the kingdom and complete the great work. If my son can be helped, help him. But if he proves a fool, then take the throne yourself and be a ruler. ** Chapter 85; the First Ruler to Zhuge Liang. [[File:Liu Bei Portrait 2.jpg|thumb|<p>勿以恶小而为之，勿以善小而不为。</p>Do not do evil because it is a small evil; do not leave undone a small good because it is a small good.]] * 勿以恶小而为之，勿以善小而不为。 ** Do not do evil because it is a small evil; do not leave undone a small good because it is a small good. ** Chapter 85 * In arms even it is best to attack hearts rather than cities; to fight with sentiment is better than to fight with weapons. ** Chapter 87; spoken by Ma Su. * 皓首匹夫！蒼髯老賊！汝即日將歸於九泉之下，何面目見二十四帝乎！ ** You fool and rebel! Mark you, today is your last day. This day even you descend to the Nine Golden Springs. How will you stand before the twenty-four emperors of Latter Han that you will meet there? ** Chapter 93 * Do the unexpected; attack the unprepared. ** Chapter 98; spoken by Zhuge Liang. * I shall strive on to the end, but the final result, whether success or failure, whether gain or loss, is beyond my powers to foresee. ** Chapter 98; memorial from Zhuge Liang. * 朝廷養軍千日，用在一時。 ** The state feeds and trains soldiers a thousand days for one hour's service. ** Chapter 100 * 鞠躬盡瘁，死而後已！ ** To achieve this end, he would use the last remnant of his strength and could die content. ** Chapter 102 * 謀事在人，成事在天。不可強也！ ** Human proposes; God disposes. We cannot wrest events to our will. ** Chapter 103; spoken by Zhuge Liang. * 伏願陛下清心寡欲，約己愛民。 ** I desire Your Majesty to cleanse your heart and limit your desires, to practice self-control and to love the people. ** Chapter 104 * What a pity it is that of ten affairs in the world, one always meets with eight or nine vexations! ** Chapter 120; spoken by Yang Hu. * 紛紛世事無窮盡，天數茫茫不可逃。<br />鼎足三分已成夢，後人憑弔空牢騷。 ** All down the ages rings the note of change,<br />For fate so rules it; none escapes its sway.<br />The kingdoms three have vanished as a dream,<br />The useless misery is ours to grieve. ** Chapter 120, Final Poem == Quotes about ''Romance of the Three Kingdoms'' == * The ''San kuo chih yen i'', attributed to one [[w:Luo Guanzhong|Lo Kuanchung]], is an historical novel based upon the wars of the [[w:Three Kingdoms|Three Kingdoms]] which fought for supremacy at the beginning of the third century A.D. It consists mainly of stirring scenes of warfare, of cunning plans by skilful generals, and of doughty deeds by blood-stained warriors. Armies and fleets of countless myriads are from time to time annihilated by one side or another,—all this in an easy and fascinating style, which makes the book an endless joy to old and young alike. If a vote were taken among the people of China as to the greatest among their countless novels, the ''Story of the Three Kingdoms'' would indubitably come out first. ** [[Herbert Giles]], ''A History of Chinese Literature'' (London: W. Heinemann, 1901), p. 277 * ''The Romance of the Three Kingdoms'' is by design a historical narrative rather than a historical novel as we understand the term in the West. Hardly a single character in the book is ahistorical, and there is no plot to speak of beyond the plot of history. Though it borrows from the oral tradition of storytelling, it is clearly far more an epic than a romance. ... It attains the condition of good literature precisely because its slight fictional elaboration of history has restored for us the actuality of history. **[[w:C. T. Hsia|C. T. Hsia]], ''The Classic Chinese Novel: A Critical Introduction'' (New York: Columbia University Press, 1968), pp. 34–35 * ''The Romance of the Three Kingdoms'' is an encyclopedia of political tricks in China, collecting all the political schemes, strategies and subterfuges and demonstrating all their forms. All the political, military, diplomatic and social affairs described in the novel are centered on deception and all the tricks are tricks of deception. ** [[w:Liu Zaifu|Liu Zaifu]], ''A Study of Two Classics'', trans. Shu Yunzhong (Amherst, NY: Cambria Press, 2012) == External links == *{{wikipedia-inline}} * [https://www.shenyunperformingarts.org/learn/article/read/item/eHIdpBl5ReM/level-one/ZiksLpcpL8A/level-two/gCmr9AehjYU/romance-three-kingdoms-chinese-classic.html The Great Chinese Classic: Romance of the Three Kingdoms] at Shen Yun Performing Arts {{DEFAULTSORT:Romance Of The Three Kingdoms}} [[Category:Chinese novels]] [[Category:Historical novels]] nbhvd8w8oafdefohju03nx28j238m3a 0 174489 3942135 3941556 2026-05-17T18:47:02Z ~2026-29315-06 3322427 /* Cast */ 3942135 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} ---- :'''Seasons:''' [[Steven Universe (season 1)|1]] [[Steven Universe (season 2)|2]] [[Steven Universe (season 3)|3]] [[Steven Universe (season 4)|4]] [[Steven Universe (season 5)|5]] | [[Steven Universe: The Movie|Film]] | [[Steven Universe Future|Future]] | [[Steven Universe|Main]] ---- '''''[[w:Steven Universe|Steven Universe]]''''' (2013–2019), also referred to as '''''Steven''''' for short, is an American animated television series created by [[w:Rebecca Sugar|Rebecca Sugar]], former storyboard artist, writer, and composer for ''[[Adventure Time]]''. It is produced by Cartoon Network Studios, and is the first show by the studio to be created by a woman. The series aired on [[w:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]] in North America from November 4, 2013 to January 21, 2019. == Pilot == :'''Steven''': You're back! :'''Amethyst''': Hey, Steven, look at this! ''[pulls out small cackling skull]'' :'''Pearl''': Whoa! What are you, crazy?! ''[knocks the skull out of Amethyst's hand and stomps it]'' :'''Steven''': What the heck was that?! :'''Pearl''': An Electric Skull, our Crystal Palace was swarming with them. :'''Amethyst''': They were after this. ''[takes out an hourglass from her fanny pack]'' :'''Steven''': ''[entranced]'' Can I see that? :'''Amethyst''': Yeah, sure. :'''Pearl''': ''[interrupts]'' No! It’s extremely powerful, we shouldn't have even brought it home. :'''Steven''': Garnet! Tell Pearl to let me see the thing! ''[Garnet puts finger to his lips]'' :'''Garnet''': Shh... :'''Steven''': Aw, man! I wanna come next time! I even wrote us a song. ''[takes out ukulele]'' It’s like: ''If you’re—'' W-wait, hold on. Hmm... ''[tunes ukulele, singing]'' :''If you're evil and you're on the rise'' :''You can count on the four of us taking you down'' :'''Cause we're good and evil never beats us'' :''We'll win the fight and then go out for pizzas.'' :''We... are the Crystal Gems'' :''We'll always save the day'' :''And if you think we can't'' :''We'll always find a way.'' :''That's why the people of this world... believe in'' :''Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl... and Steven!'' == Seasons == ::[[Steven Universe (season 1)|Season 1]] ::[[Steven Universe (season 2)|Season 2]] ::[[Steven Universe (season 3)|Season 3]] ::[[Steven Universe (season 4)|Season 4]] ::[[Steven Universe (season 5)|Season 5]] == Film == ::[[Steven Universe: The Movie]] == Sequel Series == ::[[Steven Universe Future]] == Video Games== ===''[[Steven Universe: Save The Light]]''=== ===''[[Steven Universe: Unleash the Light]]''=== == Cast == * [[w:Zach Callison|Zach Callison]] – Just Captain Esteban "Steven Universe" Universidad the Tiger Milionare-Phillantropist Quartz Cutie Pie * [[w:Estelle (musician)|Estelle]] – Captain Garnet Version (Ver.) 1.0 "Square Universe" Universidad * [[w:Michaela Dietz|Michaela Dietz]] – Amethyst Cut 8XM (AMY-8XM) "Universe" Universidad the Purple Puma * [[w:Deedee Magno|Deedee Lynn Magno]] – Earl Pearl "Universe" Universidad * [[w:Tom Scharpling|Tom Scharpling]] – Captain Um Gregorio "Gregory-Greg Universe" DeMayo-Universidad * Grace Rolek – Captain Connie Maheswaran * [[w:Shelby Rabara|Shelby Rabara]] – Captain Peridot Cut 5XG Maheswaran * [[w:Jennifer Paz|Jennifer Paz]] – Li'l Lapis Lazuli Cut 1XB "Lappy Bob" Maheswaran * [[w:Charlyne Yi|Charlyne Yi]] - Captain Ruby Cut 3XA "Universe" Universidad * [[w:Erica Luttrell|Erica Luttrell]] - Captain Sapphire Cut 1XA "Sophie Universe" Universidad * [[w:Kimberly Brooks|Kimberly Brooks]] - Red Striped Jasper Cut 0X (RSJ-0X) "Universe" Universidad * [[w:Susan Egan|Susan Egan]] – Pink Diamond/Captain Rose Quartz Cut 2XA "Universe" Universidad * [[w:Patti LuPone|Patti LuPone]] - Yellow Diamond * [[w:Lisa Hannigan|Lisa Hannigan]] - Blue Diamond * [[w:Christine Ebersole|Christine Ebersole]] - White Diamond * [[w:Kate Micucci|Kate Micucci]] - Sadie Miller * [[w:Matthew Moy|Matthew Moy]] - Captain Lars Barriga == External links == {{wikipedia}} * {{imdb title|3061046|Steven Universe}} * [http://www.cartoonnetwork.com/video/steven-universe/index.html Website] <!-- The official show website would be a good choice here. --> * [http://animatedtv.about.com/od/cartoons-q-z/fl/Steven-Universe.htm TV Show Summary] {{Authority control}} [[Category:Steven Universe| ]] [[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]] dj5ria0vg4gqkomh4fqdqqmeuw69yp0 3942139 3942135 2026-05-17T19:04:38Z ~2026-29315-06 3322427 /* Cast */ 3942139 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} ---- :'''Seasons:''' [[Steven Universe (season 1)|1]] [[Steven Universe (season 2)|2]] [[Steven Universe (season 3)|3]] [[Steven Universe (season 4)|4]] [[Steven Universe (season 5)|5]] | [[Steven Universe: The Movie|Film]] | [[Steven Universe Future|Future]] | [[Steven Universe|Main]] ---- '''''[[w:Steven Universe|Steven Universe]]''''' (2013–2019), also referred to as '''''Steven''''' for short, is an American animated television series created by [[w:Rebecca Sugar|Rebecca Sugar]], former storyboard artist, writer, and composer for ''[[Adventure Time]]''. It is produced by Cartoon Network Studios, and is the first show by the studio to be created by a woman. The series aired on [[w:Cartoon Network|Cartoon Network]] in North America from November 4, 2013 to January 21, 2019. == Pilot == :'''Steven''': You're back! :'''Amethyst''': Hey, Steven, look at this! ''[pulls out small cackling skull]'' :'''Pearl''': Whoa! What are you, crazy?! ''[knocks the skull out of Amethyst's hand and stomps it]'' :'''Steven''': What the heck was that?! :'''Pearl''': An Electric Skull, our Crystal Palace was swarming with them. :'''Amethyst''': They were after this. ''[takes out an hourglass from her fanny pack]'' :'''Steven''': ''[entranced]'' Can I see that? :'''Amethyst''': Yeah, sure. :'''Pearl''': ''[interrupts]'' No! It’s extremely powerful, we shouldn't have even brought it home. :'''Steven''': Garnet! Tell Pearl to let me see the thing! ''[Garnet puts finger to his lips]'' :'''Garnet''': Shh... :'''Steven''': Aw, man! I wanna come next time! I even wrote us a song. ''[takes out ukulele]'' It’s like: ''If you’re—'' W-wait, hold on. Hmm... ''[tunes ukulele, singing]'' :''If you're evil and you're on the rise'' :''You can count on the four of us taking you down'' :'''Cause we're good and evil never beats us'' :''We'll win the fight and then go out for pizzas.'' :''We... are the Crystal Gems'' :''We'll always save the day'' :''And if you think we can't'' :''We'll always find a way.'' :''That's why the people of this world... believe in'' :''Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl... and Steven!'' == Seasons == ::[[Steven Universe (season 1)|Season 1]] ::[[Steven Universe (season 2)|Season 2]] ::[[Steven Universe (season 3)|Season 3]] ::[[Steven Universe (season 4)|Season 4]] ::[[Steven Universe (season 5)|Season 5]] == Film == ::[[Steven Universe: The Movie]] == Sequel Series == ::[[Steven Universe Future]] == Video Games== ===''[[Steven Universe: Save The Light]]''=== ===''[[Steven Universe: Unleash the Light]]''=== == Cast == * [[w:Zach Callison|Zach Callison]] – Just Captain Esteban "Steven Universe" Universidad the Tiger Milionare-Phillantropist Quartz Cutie Pie * [[w:Estelle (musician)|Estelle]] – Captain Garnet Version (Ver.) 1.0 "Square University-Universe" Universidad * [[w:Michaela Dietz|Michaela Dietz]] – Amethyst Cut 8XM (AMY-8XM) "University-Universe" Universidad the Purple Puma * [[w:Deedee Magno|Deedee Lynn Magno]] – Earl Pearl "University-Universe" Universidad * [[w:Tom Scharpling|Tom Scharpling]] – Captain Um Gregorio "Gregory-Greg University-Universe" DeMayo-Universidad * Grace Rolek – Captain Connie Maheswaran * [[w:Shelby Rabara|Shelby Rabara]] – Captain Peridot Cut 5XG Maheswaran * [[w:Jennifer Paz|Jennifer Paz]] – Li'l Lapis Lazuli Cut 1XB "Lappy Bob" Maheswaran * [[w:Charlyne Yi|Charlyne Yi]] - Captain Ruby Cut 3XA "University-Universe" Universidad * [[w:Erica Luttrell|Erica Luttrell]] - Captain Sapphire Cut 1XA "Sophie University-Universe" Universidad * [[w:Kimberly Brooks|Kimberly Brooks]] - Red Striped Jasper Cut 0X (RSJ-0X) "University-Universe" Universidad * [[w:Susan Egan|Susan Egan]] – Pink Diamond/Captain Rose Quartz Cut 2XA "University-Universe" Universidad * [[w:Patti LuPone|Patti LuPone]] - Yellow Diamond * [[w:Lisa Hannigan|Lisa Hannigan]] - Blue Diamond * [[w:Christine Ebersole|Christine Ebersole]] - White Diamond * [[w:Kate Micucci|Kate Micucci]] - Sadie Miller * [[w:Matthew Moy|Matthew Moy]] - Captain Lars Barriga == External links == {{wikipedia}} * {{imdb title|3061046|Steven Universe}} * [http://www.cartoonnetwork.com/video/steven-universe/index.html Website] <!-- The official show website would be a good choice here. --> * [http://animatedtv.about.com/od/cartoons-q-z/fl/Steven-Universe.htm TV Show Summary] {{Authority control}} [[Category:Steven Universe| ]] [[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]] 2e3n9xvv4u0jmckdl6a6xk8ryaf8e4w 14 179340 3942264 3913224 2026-05-18T09:25:18Z GrimRob 1187925 Cat corrected 3942264 wikitext text/x-wiki {{Italic title}} {{Wikipediacat|Underworld (film series) }} [[Category:Films about vampires]] [[Category:Films about werewolves]] [[Category:Action films]] 7cs2z0kw3yagwcgnob9as0j3pcg9vuv 0 180320 3942284 3924693 2026-05-18T11:47:45Z ~2026-18347-32 3304826 3942284 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Hotel Transylvania 2|Hotel Transylvania 2]]''''' is a 2015 American 3D computer animated fantasy-comedy film. The film is the sequel to the 2012 film ''[[Hotel Transylvania]]'', with its director, [[w:Gennedy Tartakovsky|Gennedy Tartakovsky]], and writer, [[w:Robert Smigel|Robert Smigel]], returning for the film. Produced by [[w:Sony Pictures Animation|Sony Pictures Animation]], the film is animated by [[w:Sony Pictures Imageworks|Sony Pictures Imageworks]], with an additional funding provided by [[w:Lone Star Funds|LStar Capital]]. The film was released on September 25, 2015, by [[w:Columbia Pictures|Columbia Pictures]]. {{center|'''They're back to raise a little terror'''{{small|([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}}} ==Drac Pack== ===Dracula=== * ''[from trailer]'' But then I'll be all alone. * Woo-hoo! I'M GONNA BE A GRANDPA!!! * I don't say "bleh bleh-bleh"! * Blobby, there's no room. Sorry, man! * Someone's overprotective. ===Frank=== * ''[to Drac about Blobby]'' I told him he can cause the planes to hit the tower and cause 9/11 ===Murray=== * Sandstorm? It's been awhile! ===Wayne=== * ''[teaching a man how to play tennis]'' Okay, so, what you wanna do is lift the racket right on impact, so you get that nice top spin. Try and hit one. * You know I haven't done this in years. We don't need to kill anymore. We have Pop-Tarts. * I said I was rusty. * ''[fighting with Drac, who is trying to pull a Frisbee out of his mouth]'' No! It's my Frisbee! I fetched it! ===Griffin=== * How cute. * ==Johnny== * ''[to Drac about Vlad]'' You have a dad? That's funny. * ''[to Mavis]'' Okay, I'll go wake my backpack. * ''[shouting out the hotel to Drac]'' AND I'M GONNA BE A DAD!! * Check it out. Oh, yeah. This is how I rolled every summer! * ''[to Vlad]'' You wanna throw down, old man?! Certified yellow belt since 1997! ==Mavis== * ''[from trailer]'' Dad, do not give me the pouty bat face. ==Dennis / Denisovich== * ''[his first words]'' Bleh, bleh-bleh. * You are lucky we do not call the authorities! ''[imitating Dracula]'' "Let is go, my hero!" ''[normal voice]'' Cebause I am [[w:Batman|Batman]]! ''[imitating Drac]'' "Yes, to the Batmobile!" * ''[to Drac; after a burning Frank destroyed the camp house]'' Are we bad guys, Papa Drac? ==Vlad== * ''[observing Johnny's costume, based on the 1992 film of [[w:Bram Stoker's Dracula|Dracula]]]'' What's that thing on your head? Looks like my grandmother's boobies! * ''[freezing Bela from harming Johnny]'' Don't ever come near me or my family again. ''[shrinks Bela]'' ==Kakie== * A monster always shares. * The scariest monster of all is diabetes! ==Bela== * You know why you don't know? "Cebause" you're just a weak, little BOY! ==Dialogue== :''[At Mavis and Johnny's wedding]'' :'''Murray''': Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. ''[to Griffin]'' Yo, how hot is my date? :'''Griffin''': ''So'' hot. How about how hot mine is? :'''Murray''': ''You've''... got a date? :'''Griffin''': Yeah. She's invisible. That's why you can't see her. :'''Frankenstein's Monster''': Oh, yeah. Is this the one from "Canada"? :'''Griffin''': Shh… Wedding's starting. <hr width=50%> :'''Dracula''': Honey? Are you okay? :'''Mavis''': Yes. It's just a little harder to catch my breath since… I'm pregnant. :'''Drac''': Yes, well, I guess that would make it more-- ''What?!'' ''[Mavis removes her wing to reveal her bloated tummy from pregnancy;'' ''Drac'' ''soars into the air with delight.]'' I'M GONNA BE A GRANDPA!!! :'''Johnny''': ''[from below]'' AND I'M GONNA BE A DAD!! <hr width=50%> :'''Mavis''': Johnny, come quick! :''[Dracula and Johnny have just burst through the door after hearing Mavis calling them.]'' :'''Drac''': What's up? He’s okay? :'''Mavis''': Dennis said his first word! :'''Dracula''': He did? :'''Mavis''': ''[to Dennis]'' Come on, honey. Say it again! :'''Dennis''': Bleh, bleh-bleh. :'''Drac''': ''[frowns in annoyance]'' I don't say "bleh, bleh-bleh". :'''Mavis''': We didn't say you did. :'''Drac''': Then where did he get that? :'''Dennis''': Bleh, bleh-bleh. :'''Mavis''': Well, maybe sometimes you say it. :'''Drac''': I only say it when I say I don't say it! :'''Dennis''': Bleh, bleh-bleh. :'''Drac''': Okay, kid, we get it. You can talk. ''[softening]'' Denisovich... ''[checks Dennis' mouth for fangs]'' :'''Mavis''': Dad... :'''Drac''': Just checking for cavities. ''[hastily leaves the room]'' :'''Mavis''': Bleh, bleh-bleh. :'''Dennis''': Bleh, bleh-bleh. :'''Drac''': ''[pops back down from the ceiling]'' It was ''you''! <hr width=50%> :''[Mavis is singing a lullaby to help Dennis go to sleep.]'' :'''Mavis''': ''[to Dennis; singing] Twinkle twinkle, little star.<br />How I wonder who you are.'' :'''Dennis''': Mommy, I'm too old for lullabies. :'''Drac''': ''[interrupts Mavis]'' What? That's not how that one goes. :'''Mavis''': This is the way most people sing it. :'''Drac''': Most people? What's wrong with "''Suffer, suffer, scream in pain. Blood is spilling from your brain''"? :'''Mavis''': Daddy... :'''Drac''': Come on. You know how I sang it to you. :'''Mavis and Drac''': ''[singing] Zombies gnaw you like a plum<br />Piercing cries and you succumb'' :'''Drac''': ''[singing softly] Suffer, suffer, scream in pain<br />You will never breathe again<br />[sees that his lullaby lulled his grandson and daughter to sleep]'' Still works. <hr width=50%> :'''Winnie''': ''[tackling Dennis to the ground]'' Dennis, I love you! Zing! :'''Dennis''': ''[gets to his feet]'' Hi, Winnie. :'''Winnie''': ''[climbs onto Dennis’ head]'' I just love your yummy strawberry locks! ''[glomps him]'' Zing-zing! ''[Dennis laughs as she licks him]'' :'''Wanda''': ''[spraying water at her daughter]'' Winnie, give him his space, hon. I'm sorry, Mavis. :'''Mavis''': It's okay, Aunt Wanda. They're just playing. <hr width=50%/> :'''Drac''': What's wrong with the classes here, like the kids' yoga? :''[Cut to a green gill fish being stretched by a tentacle monster with a rack.]'' :'''Green Gill Fish''': YOOOGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…!! :'''Drac''': This is Denisovich's home. :'''Mavis''': I don't know, Dad. :'''Drac''': ''What'' don't you know? :'''Mavis''': Well, we've been talking about moving. Somewhere safer for Dennis. Maybe where Jonathan grew up in California. I'm sorry, but you can't just make somebody something they're not. <hr width=50%> :''[Drac is in his room picking out pajamas and upset that his family might be leaving him.]'' :'''Drac''': ''[mocking Mavis]'' "''Dad'', it's (a baby tooth,) not a fang! ''Dad'', I don't know if it's the right place for Dennis! Right, Johnny?". ''[mocking Johnny]'' "Oh, hey, dude-man. It's not me, it's Mavy! Hey, dude-man! I'm afraid to ''say'' anything! Hey, ''dudeman''! I'm a dude man!". :'''Frank)''': ''[at the door and peeks in]'' Uh, Drac, who-who are you talking to? :'''Shrunken Head''': Do not disturb! The Count's wiggin' out in here! :''[Drac starts brushing his fangs.]'' :'''Frank''': What are you wiggin' out about, Drac? :'''Drac''': The kids! Mavy-wavy saying she wants to leave! ''[gargles with blood red mouthwash]'' :'''Frank''': She wants to leave? W(ell, w)hat about Johnny? He doesn't want to go. He's making the hotel more human-y... for Dennis. You know, seeing that he isn't a monster. :'''Drac''': ''[flossing his fangs with a spider's web and breaks his string upon hearing this statement]'' He ''is'' a monster! He's just a late fanger. :'''Shrunken Head''': Mm-hmm, and I could be a hand model. :'''Drac''': Shut up! It's all that human-y stuff that's confusing poor Denisovich. ''[waves and a bathroom opens up in the wall, goes inside and the wall seals back up]'' :'''Frank''': So maybe you gotta get the kid around more monster-y... things. ''[leans on the wall and accidentally opens Drac's wardrobe closet]'' Ooh. Oh, I need a cape. (I'm sure Drac wouldn't mind for a moment.) :'''Drac''': ''[from inside the bathroom]'' (I want to, but) I can't! She's always around checking up on me! :'''Frank''': ''[goes in the closet and comes out wearing one of Drac's outfits, which fits him very tight]'' Man, if you could just get some alone time… :'''Drac''': Wait a minute! That's what Johnny wants too - alone time with Mavis! :'''Frank''': ''[chuckles at how he looks in Drac's outfit, but then all of a sudden starts suffocating from the tight clothes, panics and pulls out a spatula to wedge some space around his neck; straining]'' Ha-have they even had a vacation since before they were married?! ''[tries desperately to take off the outfit before Drac catches him wearing it and comes out of the bathroom as it seals up behind him, and at the same time, Frank just barely manages to get out of the outfit and put it back in the wardrobe before he sees]'' :'''Drac''': They're going to now, and so are we! Frank, you're a genius! ''[notices that Frank is shirtless and looks at him with a blank look on his face. Frank just stands there with an awkward smile on his face. He looks around the room, holds his hands, then clears his throat waiting for the awkward moment to pass as Drac looks at him. Finally, Drac speaks about his idea]'' (Anyways…) We’ll take Denisovch to all our old haunts. Each of us will show him our skills… teach him how to be a monster… ''[As he says it, he imagines himself and Dennis in the forest. He hunts and eats a white mouse while Dennis watches him in amazement and fangs suddenly sprout from his upper jaw.]'' ...and he'll be ''fanging'' it up in no time! :'''Shrunken head''': Boy turns 5 next week! If he's not a vampire by his birthday, it ain't happening! :'''Drac''': Oh, it ''ain't'' ain't happening, baby! All he needs is time with his vampa! :'''Frank''': "Vampa"? :'''Drac''': ''[exasperated]'' "Vampire grandpa". Come on, man! That's obvious! <hr width=50%> :'''Drac''': ''[sees Blobby, who is joining the Drac Pack on their trip]'' What's he doing here? :'''Frank''': I told him he can come. He's never been outside the hotel. :'''Drac''': Blobby, there's no room. Sorry, man! ''[Blobby enters the car, squishing everyone]'' :'''Murray''': Yeah, that ain't happening. :'''Drac''': Fine. Put him on the rascal. Let's just get going! <hr width=50%> :''[The Drac Pack and Dennis are in the car, and on their way with Griffin driving.]'' :'''Dennis''': Where are we going, Papa Drac? :'''Drac''': Oh, Denisovich, we’re going to have an adventure. A monster-y adventure! :'''Dennis''': Yay, monsters! We're gonna eat cake! :'''Wayne''': ''[confused]'' What did he say? :'''Drac''': ''[nervously]'' No! No cake on this monster trip! :'''Dennis''': No cake because Kakie says too much cake makes tummy ache. ''Yay!'' A monster always shares. :''[A short pause.]'' :'''Griffin''': Wow. :'''Wayne''': We may need more than a week. :'''Frank''': Hey, you know who could fix the kid in a snap? Vlad. :'''Drac''': ''[annoyed]'' What? We don't need to call Vlad. We got this. ''[in a warmer tone]'' Eh, you see, Denisovich, monsters are nice, just like you. But when the moon comes out, the ''real'' monster fun begins, being scary! Right, guys? ''[On the radio, "Worth It" by Fifth Harmony is playing and Frank, Wayne, Murray, and Griffin all dance along to it.]'' Guys? GUYS! ''[shuts off the radio; the four stop dancing]'' What is wrong with you? :'''Frank''': Come on. Everybody likes that song. :'''Drac''': We're not everybody. We're scary monsters, remember? ''[puts a CD in the car's player]'' :'''Griffin''': Hey, what are you putting in? :'''Drac''': Oh, it's an audio book. "Bigfoot's Life Story". He reads it himself. :'''Woman on CD''': Chapter 1. ''[Bigfoot growls slowly on the radio]'' :''[The six listen to the growling, and it is revealed that Blobby is still happily listening to "Worth It" on his headphones in the adjoining rascal.]'' <hr width=50%> :'''Drac''': ''[to Wayne]'' Okay, Wayne. It's your turn. Go kill something. ''[to Dennis]'' Denisovich, watch this. :'''Wayne''': What? :'''Drac''': ''[gets in Wayne's face]'' I told you, come on. If we don't inspire Denisovich, how's he going to find his inner monster? :'''Dennis''': ''[curious]'' Who's in a monster? :'''Drac''': Nobody, just… Here, have an avocado. ''[gives Dennis an avocado]'' :'''Dennis''': Yay! ''[accepts the avocado and slices it in half]'' :'''Drac''': Your mommy says it's a good fat. Whatever the heaven that means. :'''Wayne''': Listen, I'm not gonna set monsters back again just to make your grandkid like vampires. Anyway, there's nothing to kill here. It's all been… :''[A small deer appears out of sight.]'' :'''Frank''': Aw… What a cutie. ''[Drac glares sternly at him]'' But kill him. :'''Wayne''': Oh, great. You know I haven't done this in years. We don't need to kill anymore. We have Pop-Tarts. :'''Drac''': Denisovich, you're going to love this. Wayne's going to eat that whole deer, and the next one's yours. Wayne, go. :'''Wayne''': ''[sulks and walks over to the deer]'' Oh, man. I'm too old for this. Okay, how's it go again? ''[mistakenly practices howling]'' No, no, wait. That's for the moon. Oh, I growl. Right, here goes. <hr width=50%> :''[Wayne failed to kill the deer, as he was more attracted to a Frisbee, much to Drac's annoyance.]'' :'''Drac''': Some werewolf. Did you actually ''say'' the word "growl"? You're a were-wussy! :'''Wayne''': ''[with a Frisbee in his mouth]'' I said I was rusty. <hr width=50%> :''[In the car, Drac was getting more and more upset that his plan to make Dennis a full-fledged vampire was failing.]'' :'''Drac''': ''[grumpily in a flat tone]'' "Chocolate cereal". Are you kidding me? :'''Frank''': ''[eating some fruit roll-ups]'' It's okay, Drac. It's because they love us. :'''Murray''': Yeah! Monsters are "What's goin' on?". :'''Griffin''': Oh, yeah. You should embrace it like I did. I've got a best-selling workout video. ''[In a video, Griffin and two women are doing their exercises. At least, he’s exercising, but the ladies don’t know what pose he’s using due to him being invisible.]'' Follow me, ladies. Right. And left. No, girls. Watch me. You're not watching. Here we go. And eight and seven and six... :'''Drac''': That’s not me, guys. :'''Frank''': Come on, even Bigfoot's tearin' it up in the German soccer league. :''[In Germany, Bigfoot’s large foot'' ''easily'' ''blocks the soccer net, and some players start hitting his foot. Suddenly, Drac’s phone rang, and it is Mavis who’s calling.]'' :'''Drac''': ''[panicking]'' Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no! It’s Mavis! :'''Wayne''': ''[points at the phone]'' You gotta answer it. :''[Drac tries to answer Mavis’ call, but he was pushing his phone hard due to his long fingernails.]'' :'''Murray''': ''[shakes his head]'' You’re pushing too hard. Lighter! :'''Drac''': ''[annoyed]'' All right! ''[to Dennis, who is sleeping]'' Denisovich, wake up. Oh, boy, he’s out cold. :'''Griffin''': ''[gets an idea]'' I got this. ''[puts a pair of black sunglasses over Dennis’ closed eyes]'' :''[On Mavis' side with Johnny in California, the phone call is answered.]'' :'''Mavis''': Dad, what took so long? :'''Drac''': What? Nothing, Mavey. We're all great here at the hotel. Just doing hotel things. ''[notices Wayne panting at him]'' Sorry, can't handle your breath. :'''Wayne''': ''[stops panting]'' I hear ya. :'''Drac''': ''[to Mavis on his phone]'' How are you? :'''Mavis''': ''[on the phone]'' We're having a blast. We just went biking and mini-marting. It's so fun here. Is Dennis okay? :'''Drac''': Oh, of course. ''[on Mavis’ side]'' Y-You want to see him? :'''Mavis''': Yes. Yes, I do. ''[Griffin holds Dennis to the phone screen; to Dennis]'' Hi, baby. How are you? :'''Griffin''': ''[imitating Dennis]'' Mommy. ''[Wayne quickly takes the steering wheel by one hand; holds Dennis up]'' I happy. Whee-hee-hee-hee! :'''Mavis''': ''[on the phone]'' Aww. :'''Johnny''': ''[over the phone]'' Hey, little dude. :'''Mavis''': Why is he wearing sunglasses? :'''Drac''': ''[on the phone]'' Oh, we were playing. It's, uh… It’s a superhero thing. :'''Griffin''': ''[imitating Dennis and flying him around the car]'' ''Cebause'', I'm Sunglasses Man, to the rescue! Wee, I’m flying. :'''Drac''': ''[to Griffin]'' Okay, take it down a notch. :'''Mavis''': ''[suspicious]'' You sound funny. :'''Drac''': Oh, no, no, that’s his Sunglasses Man voice. ''[starts to vocalize fake static interference]'' Static. Oh, the signal is bad. Mavis, are you there? ''[hangs up, disconnecting the call]'' :'''Mavis''': Yeah, I’m still… ''[puts away her phone]'' Alright. I guess he’s having fun. :'''Johnny''': ''[assures Mavis]'' Of course he is. ''[chuckles nervously]'' :''[Back in Transylvania…]'' :'''Griffin''': ''[praises himself over his acting]'' Wow, I nailed it with the Sunglasses Man. Right off the top of my head. I threw in a "cebause". Did everyone see that? :'''Drac''': ''[becoming consumed with fear about losing his only family]'' She said she’s having fun. Johnny’s blowing it. She’s biking and mini-marting. She’s gonna wanna move! I gotta fix this kid now. ''[angrily to Griffin]'' Are we almost there or what? :'''Griffin''': Okay, (but) I may have taken a wrong turn a few miles back. Heh-heh. Don't get mad. :'''Drac''': What?! ''[tries to bring up the navigation on his phone, but his nails made it difficult]'' Someone turn on the navigator on this thing. :'''Murray''': ''[grabs Drac’s phone]'' Look how light I touch it. ''[lightly turns on the navigaton app]'' :'''GPS''': ''[on the phone, speaking in a Peter Lorre-esque voice]'' Please enter your destination. Pleeease! I am begging you. <hr width=50%> :''[Drac has just saved Dennis from falling from the condemned tower, when Dana, the camp counselor, comes over.]'' :'''Dana''': Oh, dear. Oh, my devil. We're gonna have to report this! :'''Drac''': You mean to the papers? I guess it was pretty cool, but I'm not about getting press. :'''Dana''': No, sir, I mean to the authorities. I can’t not report child endangerment. :'''Drac''': Whoa, listen to me. That was fun! Your ''singing'' is child endangerment! :''[Meanwhile, on top of the tower…]'' :'''Wayne''': Should we should go down and help him? :'''Frank''': Nope. I told him this was nuts. He's on his own. ''[leans on the tower, causing it to fall over]'' :''[Back down to Drac and Dana arguing…]'' :'''Dana''': We have to call the boy's mother. :'''Drac''': No, that ain't happening! His mother's already nutsy cuckoo! :'''Dana''': I have to follow protocol! :'''Drac''': ''[stares into Dana's eyes, his own eyes glow red; hypnotic] You will not follow protocol.'' :'''Dana''': ''[unphased]'' I'm a vampire. I can't be hypnotized. :'''Drac''': ''[back to normal]'' Uh, right. (I forgot that vampires can’t hypnotize each other.) :'''Dana''': Now please, don't make me call the police! :'''Drac''': No one’s calling nobody! :''[The tower finally collapses on the campfire, lighting it and Frank.]'' :'''Frank''': '''FIRE!!''' :'''Murray''': Stop, drop and roll! Stop, drop and roll! :'''Griffin''': Screaming's not helping! :''[The camp kids take out marshmallows on sticks, cheer and start coming to the fire to roast them; Dennis has a sad look.]'' :'''Dennis''': Are we bad guys, Papa Drac? :'''Drac''': Bad? No! You're the best kid in the world! We didn't start the fire. It was the tower. ''[to Dana, harshly]'' That's a very unsafe tower! You're lucky ''we'' don't call the authorities! ''[to Dennis as he puts him over his shoulders]'' Let's go, my hero! :'''Dennis''': Because I'm Batman! To the Batmobile! <hr width=50%> :''[Blobby, with sticks, leaves and even a squirrel stuck inside him, arrives at the camp to pick up the Drac Pack in his rascal. Blobby scolds them in blob gibberish for knocking him off the road.]'' :'''Drac''': I'm sorry, Blobby. We really meant to call you sooner. ''[The Drac Pack and Dennis all get on Blobby's scooter.]'' Hit it! ''[The scooter starts moving forward one inch per minute, due to the combined weight of the riders.]'' (Are you kidding me?) <hr width=50%> :''[After the Drac Pack returned to the hotel, Drac answers Mavis' video chat request.]'' :'''Drac''': So, hey! When are you going to get here already? We've been waiting… ''[looks up and sees Mavis standing a few feet away, looking angry at him, much to his shock]'' (Uh-oh. Um...) :'''Mavis''': ''[sternly]'' Give me my son. :'''Drac''': We just went out for some avocados! :'''Dennis''': Mommy, I flew! :'''Mavis''': I saw. ''[angrily holds up her smartphone and plays a [[w:YouTube|YouTube]] clip titled "Dracula Remix" with over 2,000,000 views. The clip intercuts Dennis falling from the tower with rapid edits of Dracula arguing with Dana to a rhythm track]'' :'''Drac''': ''[on the video] His mother's already nutsy cuckoo! Nutsy cuckoo! Ah-ooh! Eh-ah-ee-ee! Cuckoo! [As the music continues, Drac looks shocked, realizing he's busted. Blobby, oblivious, dances to the beat as the video continues.]'' :'''Dana''': ''[on the video] Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh-oh-oh, my devil. I have to follow protocol!'' :'''Drac''': ''[on the video] That ain't happening! That ain't happening! His mother's already ah-kee-kee-a cuckoo! Ah-kee-ooh-ah-ee-ah cuckoo!'' :''[The video ends and Drac looks down in shame as Dennis and Mavis embrace.]'' :'''Mavis''': ''[to her father]'' I was worried Dennis wasn't safe around other monsters. Now I don't even feel like he's safe around you. :'''Drac''': But I was just– :'''Mavis''': What was it you said? "Human, monster, unicorn". That it didn't matter? :'''Drac''': Well, I just know his life would– :'''Mavis''': (You know what?) We'll have his birthday party here on Wednesday, then we're moving. :'''Drac''': (W-what?) Please, Mavey, don't leave. :'''Mavis''': ''[sadly]'' Maybe you've let humans into your hotel, Dad, but I don't think you've let them into your heart. ''[takes Dennis inside the hotel, still worried he would be hurt; Johnny looks down sadly and follows her, leaving Drac]'' <hr width=50%> :''[Dennis, dressed as Batman… sort of, isn’t getting much attention. While the other kids play together, Dennis is playing Batman alone.]'' :'''Dennis''': You're lucky we don't call the authorities! ''[imitating Drac]'' "Let's go, my hero!" ''[normal voice]'' Because I'm Batman! (To the Batmobile!) ''[imitating Drac again]'' "Yes, to the Batmobile!" ''[Suddenly, Winnie knocks him over and licks him as some cousins laugh, including Troy in a costume of Vrak, a freaky Power Rangers villain. Mavis looks at Dennis sympathetically.]'' :'''Troy''': Got your butt kicked by a girl, Batman! ''[Winnie growls viciously at Troy who looks freaked out, but tries to remain cocky.]'' Whatever. I'm not about to cry. ''[walks off, crying]'' <hr width=50%> :'''Murray''': ''[scared]'' Aah! Please don't kill me! ''[in a calmer voice]'' I mean, yo, V. What's up? :'''Vlad''': Talking toilet paper. Well, that's a new one. <hr width=50%> :''[After Dennis' 5th birthday party is ruined because of Kakie being possessed by Vlad…]'' :'''Vlad''': ''[to Drac]'' Hey, what did you just do? A few more seconds and the kid's fangs would have popped right out. :'''Drac''': I don't care! It's-it's ''not'' worth it! :'''Mavis''': ''What's'' not worth it? :'''Drac''': ''[confesses]'' It was my last attempt to make the boy a vampire, so you'd stay. :'''Mavis''': By ruining his favorite thing? How could you do that? :'''Johnny''': We were desperate! :'''Mavis''': You were in on this? :'''Johnny''': ''[naively]'' Dennis won't be happy in my town. :'''Mavis''': Dennis hasn't been there! :'''Erik''': ''[plays the organ while singing] The husband and wife! Hear the strain and the strife--'' :'''Drac, Mavis and Johnny''': ''[to Erik]'' '''SHUT UP!''' :'''Mavis''': Johnny, Dennis is ''not'' a monster! ''[Vlad makes a shocked face.]'' He likes avocado! :'''Johnny''': 'Cause you don't let him eat anything fun! :'''Linda''': I think Dennis just wants to be normal. :'''Mavis''': Can we stop using the word "normal"? :''[Dennis walks away sadly, feeling not good enough to fit in.]'' :'''Drac''': Where we live now, he's normal! :'''Mavis''': He is who he is, and ''you'' can't change him, Dad. :''[Dennis runs out of the room and Winnie follows him, feeling upset and worried. Bela watches them from the window. Outside the castle... in the forest...]'' :'''Winnie''': Dennis, where are you going? :'''Dennis''': Away! :'''Winnie''': But it's not safe out here by yourself. I know a place where we can hide. Follow me! ''[They run to a tree house as their secret hiding place.]'' :''[Back at the party...]'' :'''Vlad''': If you didn't stop me, my great-grandson wouldn't have to be a wimp his whole life, like schlumpy over here. ''[gestures to Johnny]'' :'''Johnny''': "A wimp"?! :'''Drac''': Johnny, be cool. :'''Johnny''': ''[climbs on the stage, and walks to him]'' You wanna throw down, old man?! ''[does karate moves at him]'' Certified yellow belt since 1997! ''[takes off his wig, blowing his cover]'' :'''Drac''': No! (Oh, boy…) :'''Vlad''': What's this now, you're not a vampire? :'''Johnny''': (Huh? Oh…) ''[guilty]'' Uh, bleh? :'''Mike''': Of course he's (a) human. He's ''our'' son. You think ''we're'' monsters? ''[he and Linda wipe off their make-up, revealing their true selves]'' :'''Vlad''': ''[gasps; to Drac] You!'' You let your daughter marry a human and have a human kid? Why don't you just put a ''stake'' through my heart? :'''Drac''': We don't hate humans anymore, and ''they'' don't hate us (either). :''[The other humans reveal themselves as well.]'' :'''Bela''': (W-what?) ''[outraged of this charade] '''HUMANS?!''' [scratches the window, and growls]'' :'''Vlad''': You're a fool! :'''Drac''': Your great-grandson is the sweetest, kindest, most special boy I've ever met. And if ''you'' can't give him the love he deserves because he's half-human, then ''you're'' the fool. :'''Mavis''': ''[hugs him lovingly]'' Oh, Daddy. :''[Drac hugs his daughter back.]'' :'''Johnny''': Hey, (speaking of which…) where ''is'' Dennis? Dennis! :'''Mavis''': Dennis? :''[Feeling betrayed by Vlad, Bela flies away to find Dennis.]'' <hr width=50%> :'''Winnie''': Happy birthday, Dennis! I made you a treat. :'''Dennis''': Dead pigeon? :'''Winnie''': Enjoy it. 'Cause once I graduate business school and start running a company, you're not gonna get home-cooked meals like this anymore. :'''Dennis''': I have to move away Winnie. To California. My mommy thinks I'm not happy here because I don't have hair on my face like you. I'm sorry I'm not a monster. :'''Winnie''': No, you are perfect. You're the nicest boy I know, and I have 300 brothers! :'''Dennis''': You're nice too, Winnie. :''[Suddenly, Bela tears a hole in Winnie's tree house and enters, much to her and Dennis' horror.]'' :'''Bela''': Well, well, well. The little human and his pet! <hr width=50%> :'''Bela''': Stop squirming! :'''Dennis''': Why are you doing this? :'''Bela''': Because this is '''''WRONG!''''' (I mean, ''seriously!'') Why doesn't anybody get that? Humans don't ''belong'' with monsters! :'''Winnie''': ''You're'' wrong! :'''Bela''': I am ''not''! I am holding you hostage, and me and my crew are gonna tear that human-hugging hotel to ''shreds''! :'''Dennis''': You can't! :'''Bela''': Really?! Why not? :'''Dennis''': Cebause… :'''Bela''': "Cebause", why?! :'''Dennis''': Cebause it will make Papa Drac sad! :'''Bela''': Ooh… Sad? And what are ''you'' gonna do about it? :'''Dennis''': I don't know. :'''Bela''': You know why you don't know? "Cebause" you're just a weak, little '''boy'''! ''[laughs evilly until Winnie bites him]'' ==Taglines== * Drac's plane hijacking crew is back to hit the towers * They're going to crash into the towers and cause millions of war crimes and kill countless people ==Cast== * [[Adam Sandler]] - Dracula :: Vlad's son / Johnny, Simon, William and Melly's vampire father-in-law / Mavis' dad / Mike and Linda's vampire brother-in-law / Dennis' vampire grandpa / Troy, Connor and Parker's vampire uncle * [[Andy Samberg]] - Jonathan "Johnny" Loughran / Count Jonafang :: Mike and Linda's son / Vlad's human grandson-in-law / Dennis' human daddy / Melly, Simon and William's brother / Mavis' human husband / Troy, Connor and Parker's uncle / human son-in-law of Dracula * [[Selena Gomez]] - Mavis :: Johnny's vampire wife / Dennis' vampire mommy / Troy, Connor and Parker's vampire aunt / Vlad's granddaughter / Mike and Linda's vampire daughter-in-law / Simon, William and Melly's vampire sister-in-law / daughter of Drac and late Martha * {{w|Asher Blinkoff}} — Dennis "Denisovich" Dracula-Loughran ** Sunny Sandler (baby) :: Mavis and Johnny's son / Melly, Simon and William's nephew / Vlad's great grandson / Troy, Connor and Parker's cousin / grandson of Dracula, Mike, Linda and late Martha ===Secondary=== * [[Kevin James]] - Frankenstein * [[David Spade]] - Griffin * {{w|Steve Buscemi}} - Wayne * {{w|Molly Shannon}} - Wanda * {{w|Keegan-Michael Key}} — Murray ** {{w|CeeLo Green}} (previously) ===Supporting=== * Johnny Solomon - Blobby * [[w:Sadie Sandler|Sandie Sandler]] - Winnie * {{w|Nick Offerman}} - Mike Loughran * [[Megan Mullally]] - Linda Loughran * {{w|Rob Riggle}} - Bela * [[Mel Brooks]] - Vlad Dracula ===Recurring=== * {{w|Dana Carvey}} - Dana * {{w|Chris Kattan}} - Brandon/Kakie the Cake Monster * {{w|Jon Lovitz}} - Erik the Phantom of the Opera * Ethan Smigel - Troy * {{w|Will Forte}} - Connor and Parker * {{w|Rick Gomez}} - Simon and William Loughran * {{w|Ellen Burstyn}} - Melly Loughran ===Minor=== * {{w|Fran Drescher}} - Eunice * [[Molly Shannon]] - Wanda * {{w|Paul Brittain}} - Pandragora * {{w|Luenell}} - Shrunken Head * {{w|Chris Parnell}} - The Fly * {{w|Robert Smigel}} - Marty * Pax Sandler - Wally * TBA - Wayne Jr., Wilson, Whoopi, Waylon and Weepy == See also == * [[Hotel Transylvania]] ** [[Hotel Transylvania: The Series|The Series]] * [[Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation]] * [[Hotel Transylvania: Transformania]] ==External links== *{{Wikipedia-inline}} *{{Commonscat-inline}} * {{IMDb title|2510894}} {{Hotel Transylvania}} {{Authority control}} [[Category:2015 computer-animated films]] [[Category:2015 American animated films]] [[Category:American computer-animated films]] [[Category:American 3D animated films]] [[Category:American children's animated comedy films]] [[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]] [[Category:Films about Frankenstein]] [[Category:American sequel films]] [[Category:Dracula films]] [[Category:Animated films set in hotels]] [[Category:Screenplays by Adam Sandler]] [[Category:Films set in Transylvania]] [[Category:Films set in Romania]] [[Category:Films directed by Genndy Tartakovsky]] [[Category:Screenplays by Robert Smigel]] [[Category:Films about vacationing]] [[Category:Films about grandfather–grandson relationships]] [[Category:Films about grandfather–granddaughter relationships]] [[Category:Animated films about father–daughter relationships]] [[Category:Animated films about mother–son relationships]] [[Category:Animated films about father–son relationships]] [[Category:Films about in-law relationships]] [[Category:Animated films about shapeshifting]] [[Category:Animated films about weddings]] [[Category:Hotel Transylvania]] pm1gy3qzar086ymxd9pjtaorg09nc11 3942285 3942284 2026-05-18T11:48:32Z ~2026-18347-32 3304826 3942285 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Hotel Transylvania 2|Hotel Transylvania 2]]''''' is a 2015 American 3D computer animated fantasy-comedy film. The film is the sequel to the 2012 film ''[[Hotel Transylvania]]'', with its director, [[w:Gennedy Tartakovsky|Gennedy Tartakovsky]], and writer, [[w:Robert Smigel|Robert Smigel]], returning for the film. Produced by [[w:Sony Pictures Animation|Sony Pictures Animation]], the film is animated by [[w:Sony Pictures Imageworks|Sony Pictures Imageworks]], with an additional funding provided by [[w:Lone Star Funds|LStar Capital]]. The film was released on September 25, 2015, by [[w:Columbia Pictures|Columbia Pictures]]. {{center|'''They're back to raise a little terror'''{{small|([[#Taglines|taglines]])}}}} ==Drac Pack== ===Dracula=== * ''[from trailer]'' But then I'll be all alone. * Woo-hoo! I'M GONNA BE A GRANDPA!!! * I don't say "bleh bleh-bleh"! * Blobby, there's no room. Sorry, man! * Someone's overprotective. ===Frank=== * ''[to Drac about Blobby]'' I told him he can cause the planes to hit the tower and cause 9/11 ===Murray=== * Sandstorm? It's been awhile! ===Wayne=== * ''[teaching a man how to play tennis]'' Okay, so, what you wanna do is lift the racket right on impact, so you get that nice top spin. Try and hit one. * You know I haven't done this in years. We don't need to kill anymore. We have Pop-Tarts. * I said I was rusty. * ''[fighting with Drac, who is trying to pull a Frisbee out of his mouth]'' No! It's my Frisbee! I fetched it! ===Griffin=== * How cute. * ==Johnny== * ''[to Drac about Vlad]'' You have a dad? That's funny. * ''[to Mavis]'' Okay, I'll go wake my backpack. * ''[shouting out the hotel to Drac]'' AND I'M GONNA BE A DAD!! * Check it out. Oh, yeah. This is how I rolled every summer! * ''[to Vlad]'' You wanna throw down, old man?! Certified yellow belt since 1997! ==Mavis== * ''[from trailer]'' Dad, do not give me the pouty bat face. ==Dennis / Denisovich== * ''[his first words]'' Bleh, bleh-bleh. * You are lucky we do not call the authorities! ''[imitating Dracula]'' "Let is go, my hero!" ''[normal voice]'' Cebause I am [[w:Batman|Batman]]! ''[imitating Drac]'' "Yes, to the Batmobile!" * ''[to Drac; after a burning Frank destroyed the camp house]'' Are we bad guys, Papa Drac? ==Vlad== * ''[observing Johnny's costume, based on the 1992 film of [[w:Bram Stoker's Dracula|Dracula]]]'' What's that thing on your head? Looks like my grandmother's boobies! * ''[freezing Bela from harming Johnny]'' Don't ever come near me or my family again. ''[shrinks Bela]'' ==Kakie== * A monster always shares. * The scariest monster of all is diabetes! ==Bela== * You know why you don't know? "Cebause" you're just a weak, little BOY! ==Dialogue== :''[At Mavis and Johnny's wedding]'' :'''Murray''': Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. ''[to Griffin]'' Yo, how hot is my date? :'''Griffin''': ''So'' hot. How about how hot mine is? :'''Murray''': ''You've''... got a date? :'''Griffin''': Yeah. She's invisible. That's why you can't see her. :'''Frankenstein's Monster''': Oh, yeah. Is this the one from "Canada"? :'''Griffin''': Shh… Wedding's starting. <hr width=50%> :'''Dracula''': Honey? Are you okay? :'''Mavis''': Yes. It's just a little harder to catch my breath since… I'm pregnant. :'''Drac''': Yes, well, I guess that would make it more-- ''What?!'' ''[Mavis removes her wing to reveal her bloated tummy from pregnancy;'' ''Drac'' ''soars into the air with delight.]'' I'M GONNA BE A GRANDPA!!! :'''Johnny''': ''[from below]'' AND I'M GONNA BE A DAD!! <hr width=50%> :'''Mavis''': Johnny, come quick! :''[Dracula and Johnny have just burst through the door after hearing Mavis calling them.]'' :'''Drac''': What's up? He’s okay? :'''Mavis''': Dennis said his first word! :'''Dracula''': He did? :'''Mavis''': ''[to Dennis]'' Come on, honey. Say it again! :'''Dennis''': Bleh, bleh-bleh. :'''Drac''': ''[frowns in annoyance]'' I don't say "bleh, bleh-bleh". :'''Mavis''': We didn't say you did. :'''Drac''': Then where did he get that? :'''Dennis''': Bleh, bleh-bleh. :'''Mavis''': Well, maybe sometimes you say it. :'''Drac''': I only say it when I say I don't say it! :'''Dennis''': Bleh, bleh-bleh. :'''Drac''': Okay, kid, we get it. You can talk. ''[softening]'' Denisovich... ''[checks Dennis' mouth for fangs]'' :'''Mavis''': Dad... :'''Drac''': Just checking for cavities. ''[hastily leaves the room]'' :'''Mavis''': Bleh, bleh-bleh. :'''Dennis''': Bleh, bleh-bleh. :'''Drac''': ''[pops back down from the ceiling]'' It was ''you''! <hr width=50%> :''[Mavis is singing a lullaby to help Dennis go to sleep.]'' :'''Mavis''': ''[to Dennis; singing] Twinkle twinkle, little star.<br />How I wonder who you are.'' :'''Dennis''': Mommy, I'm too old for lullabies. :'''Drac''': ''[interrupts Mavis]'' What? That's not how that one goes. :'''Mavis''': This is the way most people sing it. :'''Drac''': Most people? What's wrong with "''Suffer, suffer, scream in pain. Blood is spilling from your brain''"? :'''Mavis''': Daddy... :'''Drac''': Come on. You know how I sang it to you. :'''Mavis and Drac''': ''[singing] Zombies gnaw you like a plum<br />Piercing cries and you succumb'' :'''Drac''': ''[singing softly] Suffer, suffer, scream in pain<br />You will never breathe again<br />[sees that his lullaby lulled his grandson and daughter to sleep]'' Still works. <hr width=50%> :'''Winnie''': ''[tackling Dennis to the ground]'' Dennis, I love you! Zing! :'''Dennis''': ''[gets to his feet]'' Hi, Winnie. :'''Winnie''': ''[climbs onto Dennis’ head]'' I just love your yummy strawberry locks! ''[glomps him]'' Zing-zing! ''[Dennis laughs as she licks him]'' :'''Wanda''': ''[spraying water at her daughter]'' Winnie, give him his space, hon. I'm sorry, Mavis. :'''Mavis''': It's okay, Aunt Wanda. They're just playing. <hr width=50%/> :'''Drac''': What's wrong with the classes here, like the kids' yoga? :''[Cut to a green gill fish being stretched by a tentacle monster with a rack.]'' :'''Green Gill Fish''': YOOOGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…!! :'''Drac''': This is Denisovich's home. :'''Mavis''': I don't know, Dad. :'''Drac''': ''What'' don't you know? :'''Mavis''': Well, we've been talking about moving. Somewhere safer for Dennis. Maybe where Jonathan grew up in California. I'm sorry, but you can't just make somebody something they're not. <hr width=50%> :''[Drac is in his room picking out pajamas and upset that his family might be leaving him.]'' :'''Drac''': ''[mocking Mavis]'' "''Dad'', it's (a baby tooth,) not a fang! ''Dad'', I don't know if it's the right place for Dennis! Right, Johnny?". ''[mocking Johnny]'' "Oh, hey, dude-man. It's not me, it's Mavy! Hey, dude-man! I'm afraid to ''say'' anything! Hey, ''dudeman''! I'm a dude man!". :'''Frank)''': ''[at the door and peeks in]'' Uh, Drac, who-who are you talking to? :'''Shrunken Head''': Do not disturb! The Count's wiggin' out in here! :''[Drac starts brushing his fangs.]'' :'''Frank''': What are you wiggin' out about, Drac? :'''Drac''': The kids! Mavy-wavy saying she wants to leave! ''[gargles with blood red mouthwash]'' :'''Frank''': She wants to leave? W(ell, w)hat about Johnny? He doesn't want to go. He's making the hotel more human-y... for Dennis. You know, seeing that he isn't a monster. :'''Drac''': ''[flossing his fangs with a spider's web and breaks his string upon hearing this statement]'' He ''is'' a monster! He's just a late fanger. :'''Shrunken Head''': Mm-hmm, and I could be a hand model. :'''Drac''': Shut up! It's all that human-y stuff that's confusing poor Denisovich. ''[waves and a bathroom opens up in the wall, goes inside and the wall seals back up]'' :'''Frank''': So maybe you gotta get the kid around more monster-y... things. ''[leans on the wall and accidentally opens Drac's wardrobe closet]'' Ooh. Oh, I need a cape. (I'm sure Drac wouldn't mind for a moment.) :'''Drac''': ''[from inside the bathroom]'' (I want to, but) I can't! She's always around checking up on me! :'''Frank''': ''[goes in the closet and comes out wearing one of Drac's outfits, which fits him very tight]'' Man, if you could just get some alone time… :'''Drac''': Wait a minute! That's what Johnny wants too - alone time with Mavis! :'''Frank''': ''[chuckles at how he looks in Drac's outfit, but then all of a sudden starts suffocating from the tight clothes, panics and pulls out a spatula to wedge some space around his neck; straining]'' Ha-have they even had a vacation since before they were married?! ''[tries desperately to take off the outfit before Drac catches him wearing it and comes out of the bathroom as it seals up behind him, and at the same time, Frank just barely manages to get out of the outfit and put it back in the wardrobe before he sees]'' :'''Drac''': They're going to now, and so are we! Frank, you're a genius! ''[notices that Frank is shirtless and looks at him with a blank look on his face. Frank just stands there with an awkward smile on his face. He looks around the room, holds his hands, then clears his throat waiting for the awkward moment to pass as Drac looks at him. Finally, Drac speaks about his idea]'' (Anyways…) We’ll take Denisovch to all our old haunts. Each of us will show him our skills… teach him how to be a monster… ''[As he says it, he imagines himself and Dennis in the forest. He hunts and eats a white mouse while Dennis watches him in amazement and fangs suddenly sprout from his upper jaw.]'' ...and he'll be ''fanging'' it up in no time! :'''Shrunken head''': Boy turns 5 next week! If he's not a vampire by his birthday, it ain't happening! :'''Drac''': Oh, it ''ain't'' ain't happening, baby! All he needs is time with his vampa! :'''Frank''': "Vampa"? :'''Drac''': ''[exasperated]'' "Vampire grandpa". Come on, man! That's obvious! <hr width=50%> :'''Drac''': ''[sees Blobby, who is joining the Drac Pack on their trip]'' What's he doing here? :'''Frank''': I told him he can come. He's never been outside the hotel. :'''Drac''': Blobby, there's no room. Sorry, man! ''[Blobby enters the car, squishing everyone]'' :'''Murray''': Yeah, that ain't happening. :'''Drac''': Fine. Put him on the rascal. Let's just get going! <hr width=50%> :''[The Drac Pack and Dennis are in the car, and on their way with Griffin driving.]'' :'''Dennis''': Where are we going, Papa Drac? :'''Drac''': Oh, Denisovich, we’re going to have an adventure. A monster-y adventure! :'''Dennis''': Yay, monsters! We're gonna eat cake! :'''Wayne''': ''[confused]'' What did he say? :'''Drac''': ''[nervously]'' No! No cake on this monster trip! :'''Dennis''': No cake because Kakie says too much cake makes tummy ache. ''Yay!'' A monster always shares. :''[A short pause.]'' :'''Griffin''': Wow. :'''Wayne''': We may need more than a week. :'''Frank''': Hey, you know who could fix the kid in a snap? Vlad. :'''Drac''': ''[annoyed]'' What? We don't need to call Vlad. We got this. ''[in a warmer tone]'' Eh, you see, Denisovich, monsters are nice, just like you. But when the moon comes out, the ''real'' monster fun begins, being scary! Right, guys? ''[On the radio, "Worth It" by Fifth Harmony is playing and Frank, Wayne, Murray, and Griffin all dance along to it.]'' Guys? GUYS! ''[shuts off the radio; the four stop dancing]'' What is wrong with you? :'''Frank''': Come on. Everybody likes that song. :'''Drac''': We're not everybody. We're scary monsters, remember? ''[puts a CD in the car's player]'' :'''Griffin''': Hey, what are you putting in? :'''Drac''': Oh, it's an audio book. "Bigfoot's Life Story". He reads it himself. :'''Woman on CD''': Chapter 1. ''[Bigfoot growls slowly on the radio]'' :''[The six listen to the growling, and it is revealed that Blobby is still happily listening to "Worth It" on his headphones in the adjoining rascal.]'' <hr width=50%> :'''Drac''': ''[to Wayne]'' Okay, Wayne. It's your turn. Go kill something. ''[to Dennis]'' Denisovich, watch this. :'''Wayne''': What? :'''Drac''': ''[gets in Wayne's face]'' I told you, come on. If we don't inspire Denisovich, how's he going to find his inner monster? :'''Dennis''': ''[curious]'' Who's in a monster? :'''Drac''': Nobody, just… Here, have an avocado. ''[gives Dennis an avocado]'' :'''Dennis''': Yay! ''[accepts the avocado and slices it in half]'' :'''Drac''': Your mommy says it's a good fat. Whatever the heaven that means. :'''Wayne''': Listen, I'm not gonna set monsters back again just to make your grandkid like vampires. Anyway, there's nothing to kill here. It's all been… :''[A small deer appears out of sight.]'' :'''Frank''': Aw… What a cutie. ''[Drac glares sternly at him]'' But kill him. :'''Wayne''': Oh, great. You know I haven't done this in years. We don't need to kill anymore. We have Pop-Tarts. :'''Drac''': Denisovich, you're going to love this. Wayne's going to eat that whole deer, and the next one's yours. Wayne, go. :'''Wayne''': ''[sulks and walks over to the deer]'' Oh, man. I'm too old for this. Okay, how's it go again? ''[mistakenly practices howling]'' No, no, wait. That's for the moon. Oh, I growl. Right, here goes. <hr width=50%> :''[Wayne failed to kill the deer, as he was more attracted to a Frisbee, much to Drac's annoyance.]'' :'''Drac''': Some werewolf. Did you actually ''say'' the word "growl"? You're a were-wussy! :'''Wayne''': ''[with a Frisbee in his mouth]'' I said I was rusty. <hr width=50%> :''[In the car, Drac was getting more and more upset that his plan to make Dennis a full-fledged vampire was failing.]'' :'''Drac''': ''[grumpily in a flat tone]'' "Chocolate cereal". Are you kidding me? :'''Frank''': ''[eating some fruit roll-ups]'' It's okay, Drac. It's because they love us. :'''Murray''': Yeah! Monsters are "What's goin' on?". :'''Griffin''': Oh, yeah. You should embrace it like I did. I've got a best-selling workout video. ''[In a video, Griffin and two women are doing their exercises. At least, he’s exercising, but the ladies don’t know what pose he’s using due to him being invisible.]'' Follow me, ladies. Right. And left. No, girls. Watch me. You're not watching. Here we go. And eight and seven and six... :'''Drac''': That’s not me, guys. :'''Frank''': Come on, even Bigfoot's tearin' it up in the German soccer league. :''[In Germany, Bigfoot’s large foot'' ''easily'' ''blocks the soccer net, and some players start hitting his foot. Suddenly, Drac’s phone rang, and it is Mavis who’s calling.]'' :'''Drac''': ''[panicking]'' Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no! It’s Mavis! :'''Wayne''': ''[points at the phone]'' You gotta answer it. :''[Drac tries to answer Mavis’ call, but he was pushing his phone hard due to his long fingernails.]'' :'''Murray''': ''[shakes his head]'' You’re pushing too hard. Lighter! :'''Drac''': ''[annoyed]'' All right! ''[to Dennis, who is sleeping]'' Denisovich, wake up. Oh, boy, he’s out cold. :'''Griffin''': ''[gets an idea]'' I got this. ''[puts a pair of black sunglasses over Dennis’ closed eyes]'' :''[On Mavis' side with Johnny in California, the phone call is answered.]'' :'''Mavis''': Dad, what took so long? :'''Drac''': What? Nothing, Mavey. We're all great here at the hotel. Just doing hotel things. ''[notices Wayne panting at him]'' Sorry, can't handle your breath. :'''Wayne''': ''[stops panting]'' I hear ya. :'''Drac''': ''[to Mavis on his phone]'' How are you? :'''Mavis''': ''[on the phone]'' We're having a blast. We just went biking and mini-marting. It's so fun here. Is Dennis okay? :'''Drac''': Oh, of course. ''[on Mavis’ side]'' Y-You want to see him? :'''Mavis''': Yes. Yes, I do. ''[Griffin holds Dennis to the phone screen; to Dennis]'' Hi, baby. How are you? :'''Griffin''': ''[imitating Dennis]'' Mommy. ''[Wayne quickly takes the steering wheel by one hand; holds Dennis up]'' I happy. Whee-hee-hee-hee! :'''Mavis''': ''[on the phone]'' Aww. :'''Johnny''': ''[over the phone]'' Hey, little dude. :'''Mavis''': Why is he wearing sunglasses? :'''Drac''': ''[on the phone]'' Oh, we were playing. It's, uh… It’s a superhero thing. :'''Griffin''': ''[imitating Dennis and flying him around the car]'' ''Cebause'', I'm Sunglasses Man, to the rescue! Wee, I’m flying. :'''Drac''': ''[to Griffin]'' Okay, take it down a notch. :'''Mavis''': ''[suspicious]'' You sound funny. :'''Drac''': Oh, no, no, that’s his Sunglasses Man voice. ''[starts to vocalize fake static interference]'' Static. Oh, the signal is bad. Mavis, are you there? ''[hangs up, disconnecting the call]'' :'''Mavis''': Yeah, I’m still… ''[puts away her phone]'' Alright. I guess he’s having fun. :'''Johnny''': ''[assures Mavis]'' Of course he is. ''[chuckles nervously]'' :''[Back in Transylvania…]'' :'''Griffin''': ''[praises himself over his acting]'' Wow, I nailed it with the Sunglasses Man. Right off the top of my head. I threw in a "cebause". Did everyone see that? :'''Drac''': ''[becoming consumed with fear about losing his only family]'' She said she’s having fun. Johnny’s blowing it. She’s biking and mini-marting. She’s gonna wanna move! I gotta fix this kid now. ''[angrily to Griffin]'' Are we almost there or what? :'''Griffin''': Okay, (but) I may have taken a wrong turn a few miles back. Heh-heh. Don't get mad. :'''Drac''': What?! ''[tries to bring up the navigation on his phone, but his nails made it difficult]'' Someone turn on the navigator on this thing. :'''Murray''': ''[grabs Drac’s phone]'' Look how light I touch it. ''[lightly turns on the navigaton app]'' :'''GPS''': ''[on the phone, speaking in a Peter Lorre-esque voice]'' Please enter your destination. Pleeease! I am begging you. <hr width=50%> :''[Drac has just saved Dennis from falling from the condemned tower, when Dana, the camp counselor, comes over.]'' :'''Dana''': Oh, dear. Oh, my devil. We're gonna have to report this! :'''Drac''': You mean to the papers? I guess it was pretty cool, but I'm not about getting press. :'''Dana''': No, sir, I mean to the authorities. I can’t not report child endangerment. :'''Drac''': Whoa, listen to me. That was fun! Your ''singing'' is child endangerment! :''[Meanwhile, on top of the tower…]'' :'''Wayne''': Should we should go down and help him? :'''Frank''': Nope. I told him this was nuts. He's on his own. ''[leans on the tower, causing it to fall over]'' :''[Back down to Drac and Dana arguing…]'' :'''Dana''': We have to call the boy's mother. :'''Drac''': No, that ain't happening! His mother's already nutsy cuckoo! :'''Dana''': I have to follow protocol! :'''Drac''': ''[stares into Dana's eyes, his own eyes glow red; hypnotic] You will not follow protocol.'' :'''Dana''': ''[unphased]'' I'm a vampire. I can't be hypnotized. :'''Drac''': ''[back to normal]'' Uh, right. (I forgot that vampires can’t hypnotize each other.) :'''Dana''': Now please, don't make me call the police! :'''Drac''': No one’s calling nobody! :''[The tower finally collapses on the campfire, lighting it and Frank.]'' :'''Frank''': '''FIRE!!''' :'''Murray''': Stop, drop and roll! Stop, drop and roll! :'''Griffin''': Screaming's not helping! :''[The camp kids take out marshmallows on sticks, cheer and start coming to the fire to roast them; Dennis has a sad look.]'' :'''Dennis''': Are we bad guys, Papa Drac? :'''Drac''': Bad? No! You're the best kid in the world! We didn't start the fire. It was the tower. ''[to Dana, harshly]'' That's a very unsafe tower! You're lucky ''we'' don't call the authorities! ''[to Dennis as he puts him over his shoulders]'' Let's go, my hero! :'''Dennis''': Because I'm Batman! To the Batmobile! <hr width=50%> :''[Blobby, with sticks, leaves and even a squirrel stuck inside him, arrives at the camp to pick up the Drac Pack in his rascal. Blobby scolds them in blob gibberish for knocking him off the road.]'' :'''Drac''': I'm sorry, Blobby. We really meant to call you sooner. ''[The Drac Pack and Dennis all get on Blobby's scooter.]'' Hit it! ''[The scooter starts moving forward one inch per minute, due to the combined weight of the riders.]'' (Are you kidding me?) <hr width=50%> :''[After the Drac Pack returned to the hotel, Drac answers Mavis' video chat request.]'' :'''Drac''': So, hey! When are you going to get here already? We've been waiting… ''[looks up and sees Mavis standing a few feet away, looking angry at him, much to his shock]'' (Uh-oh. Um...) :'''Mavis''': ''[sternly]'' Give me my son. :'''Drac''': We just went out for some avocados! :'''Dennis''': Mommy, I flew! :'''Mavis''': I saw. ''[angrily holds up her smartphone and plays a [[w:YouTube|YouTube]] clip titled "Dracula Remix" with over 2,000,000 views. The clip intercuts Dennis falling from the tower with rapid edits of Dracula arguing with Dana to a rhythm track]'' :'''Drac''': ''[on the video] His mother's already nutsy cuckoo! Nutsy cuckoo! Ah-ooh! Eh-ah-ee-ee! Cuckoo! [As the music continues, Drac looks shocked, realizing he's busted. Blobby, oblivious, dances to the beat as the video continues.]'' :'''Dana''': ''[on the video] Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Oh-oh-oh, my devil. I have to follow protocol!'' :'''Drac''': ''[on the video] That ain't happening! That ain't happening! His mother's already ah-kee-kee-a cuckoo! Ah-kee-ooh-ah-ee-ah cuckoo!'' :''[The video ends and Drac looks down in shame as Dennis and Mavis embrace.]'' :'''Mavis''': ''[to her father]'' I was worried Dennis wasn't safe around other monsters. Now I don't even feel like he's safe around you. :'''Drac''': But I was just– :'''Mavis''': What was it you said? "Human, monster, unicorn". That it didn't matter? :'''Drac''': Well, I just know his life would– :'''Mavis''': (You know what?) We'll have his birthday party here on Wednesday, then we're moving. :'''Drac''': (W-what?) Please, Mavey, don't leave. :'''Mavis''': ''[sadly]'' Maybe you've let humans into your hotel, Dad, but I don't think you've let them into your heart. ''[takes Dennis inside the hotel, still worried he would be hurt; Johnny looks down sadly and follows her, leaving Drac]'' <hr width=50%> :''[Dennis, dressed as Batman… sort of, isn’t getting much attention. While the other kids play together, Dennis is playing Batman alone.]'' :'''Dennis''': You're lucky we don't call the authorities! ''[imitating Drac]'' "Let's go, my hero!" ''[normal voice]'' Because I'm Batman! (To the Batmobile!) ''[imitating Drac again]'' "Yes, to the Batmobile!" ''[Suddenly, Winnie knocks him over and licks him as some cousins laugh, including Troy in a costume of Vrak, a freaky Power Rangers villain. Mavis looks at Dennis sympathetically.]'' :'''Troy''': Got your butt kicked by a girl, Batman! ''[Winnie growls viciously at Troy who looks freaked out, but tries to remain cocky.]'' Whatever. I'm not about to cry. ''[walks off, crying]'' <hr width=50%> :'''Murray''': ''[scared]'' Aah! Please don't kill me! ''[in a calmer voice]'' I mean, yo, V. What's up? :'''Vlad''': Talking toilet paper. Well, that's a new one. <hr width=50%> :''[After Dennis' 5th birthday party is ruined because of Kakie being possessed by Vlad…]'' :'''Vlad''': ''[to Drac]'' Hey, what did you just do? A few more seconds and the kid's fangs would have popped right out. :'''Drac''': I don't care! It's-it's ''not'' worth it! :'''Mavis''': ''What's'' not worth it? :'''Drac''': ''[confesses]'' It was my last attempt to make the boy a vampire, so you'd stay. :'''Mavis''': By ruining his favorite thing? How could you do that? :'''Johnny''': We were desperate! :'''Mavis''': You were in on this? :'''Johnny''': ''[naively]'' Dennis won't be happy in my town. :'''Mavis''': Dennis hasn't been there! :'''Erik''': ''[plays the organ while singing] The husband and wife! Hear the strain and the strife--'' :'''Drac, Mavis and Johnny''': ''[to Erik]'' '''SHUT UP!''' :'''Mavis''': Johnny, Dennis is ''not'' a monster! ''[Vlad makes a shocked face.]'' He likes avocado! :'''Johnny''': 'Cause you don't let him eat anything fun! :'''Linda''': I think Dennis just wants to be normal. :'''Mavis''': Can we stop using the word "normal"? :''[Dennis walks away sadly, feeling not good enough to fit in.]'' :'''Drac''': Where we live now, he's normal! :'''Mavis''': He is who he is, and ''you'' can't change him, Dad. :''[Dennis runs out of the room and Winnie follows him, feeling upset and worried. Bela watches them from the window. Outside the castle... in the forest...]'' :'''Winnie''': Dennis, where are you going? :'''Dennis''': Away! :'''Winnie''': But it's not safe out here by yourself. I know a place where we can hide. Follow me! ''[They run to a tree house as their secret hiding place.]'' :''[Back at the party...]'' :'''Vlad''': If you didn't stop me, my great-grandson wouldn't have to be a wimp his whole life, like schlumpy over here. ''[gestures to Johnny]'' :'''Johnny''': "A wimp"?! :'''Drac''': Johnny, be cool. :'''Johnny''': ''[climbs on the stage, and walks to him]'' You wanna throw down, old man?! ''[does karate moves at him]'' Certified yellow belt since 1997! ''[takes off his wig, blowing his cover]'' :'''Drac''': No! (Oh, boy…) :'''Vlad''': What's this now, you're not a vampire? :'''Johnny''': (Huh? Oh…) ''[guilty]'' Uh, bleh? :'''Mike''': Of course he's (a) human. He's ''our'' son. You think ''we're'' monsters? ''[he and Linda wipe off their make-up, revealing their true selves]'' :'''Vlad''': ''[gasps; to Drac] You!'' You let your daughter marry a human and have a human kid? Why don't you just put a ''stake'' through my heart? :'''Drac''': We don't hate humans anymore, and ''they'' don't hate us (either). :''[The other humans reveal themselves as well.]'' :'''Bela''': (W-what?) ''[outraged of this charade] '''HUMANS?!''' [scratches the window, and growls]'' :'''Vlad''': You're a fool! :'''Drac''': Your great-grandson is the sweetest, kindest, most special boy I've ever met. And if ''you'' can't give him the love he deserves because he's half-human, then ''you're'' the fool. :'''Mavis''': ''[hugs him lovingly]'' Oh, Daddy. :''[Drac hugs his daughter back.]'' :'''Johnny''': Hey, (speaking of which…) where ''is'' Dennis? Dennis! :'''Mavis''': Dennis? :''[Feeling betrayed by Vlad, Bela flies away to find Dennis.]'' <hr width=50%> :'''Winnie''': Happy birthday, Dennis! I made you a treat. :'''Dennis''': Dead pigeon? :'''Winnie''': Enjoy it. 'Cause once I graduate business school and start running a company, you're not gonna get home-cooked meals like this anymore. :'''Dennis''': I have to move away Winnie. To California. My mommy thinks I'm not happy here because I don't have hair on my face like you. I'm sorry I'm not a monster. :'''Winnie''': No, you are perfect. You're the nicest boy I know, and I have 300 brothers! :'''Dennis''': You're nice too, Winnie. :''[Suddenly, Bela tears a hole in Winnie's tree house and enters, much to her and Dennis' horror.]'' :'''Bela''': Well, well, well. The little human and his pet! <hr width=50%> :'''Bela''': Stop squirming! :'''Dennis''': Why are you doing this? :'''Bela''': Because this is '''''WRONG!''''' (I mean, ''seriously!'') Why doesn't anybody get that? Humans don't ''belong'' with monsters! :'''Winnie''': ''You're'' wrong! :'''Bela''': I am ''not''! I am holding you hostage, and me and my crew are gonna tear that human-hugging hotel to ''shreds''! :'''Dennis''': You can't! :'''Bela''': Really?! Why not? :'''Dennis''': Cebause… :'''Bela''': "Cebause", why?! :'''Dennis''': Cebause it will make Papa Drac sad! :'''Bela''': Ooh… Sad? And what are ''you'' gonna do about it? :'''Dennis''': I don't know. :'''Bela''': You know why you don't know? "Cebause" you're just a weak, little '''boy'''! ''[laughs evilly until Winnie bites him]'' ==Taglines== * Drac's plane hijacking crew is back to hit the towers * They're going to crash into the towers and cause millions of war crimes and kill countless people ==Cast== * [[Adam Sandler]] - Dracula :: Vlad's son / Johnny, Simon, William and Melly's vampire father-in-law / Mavis' dad / Mike and Linda's vampire brother-in-law / Dennis' vampire grandpa / Troy, Connor and Parker's vampire uncle * [[Andy Samberg]] - Jonathan "Johnny" Loughran / Count Jonafang :: Mike and Linda's son / Vlad's human grandson-in-law / Dennis' human daddy / Melly, Simon and William's brother / Mavis' human husband / Troy, Connor and Parker's uncle / human son-in-law of Dracula * [[Selena Gomez]] - Mavis :: Johnny's vampire wife / Dennis' vampire mommy / Troy, Connor and Parker's vampire aunt / Vlad's granddaughter / Mike and Linda's vampire daughter-in-law / Simon, William and Melly's vampire sister-in-law / daughter of Drac and late Martha * {{w|Asher Blinkoff}} — Dennis "Denisovich" Dracula-Loughran ** Sunny Sandler (baby) :: Mavis and Johnny's son / Melly, Simon and William's nephew / Vlad's great grandson / Troy, Connor and Parker's cousin / grandson of Dracula, Mike, Linda and late Martha ===Secondary=== * [[Kevin James]] - Frankenstein * [[David Spade]] - Griffin * {{w|Steve Buscemi}} - Wayne * {{w|Molly Shannon}} - Wanda * {{w|Keegan-Michael Key}} — Murray ** {{w|CeeLo Green}} (previously) ===Supporting=== * Johnny Solomon - Blobby * [[w:Sadie Sandler|Sandie Sandler]] - Winnie * {{w|Nick Offerman}} - Mike Loughran * [[Megan Mullally]] - Linda Loughran * {{w|Rob Riggle}} - Bela * [[Mel Brooks]] - Vlad Dracula ===Recurring=== * {{w|Dana Carvey}} - Dana * {{w|Chris Kattan}} - Brandon/Kakie the Cake Monster * {{w|Jon Lovitz}} - Erik the Phantom of the Opera * Ethan Smigel - Troy * {{w|Will Forte}} - Connor and Parker * {{w|Rick Gomez}} - Simon and William Loughran * {{w|Ellen Burstyn}} - Melly Loughran ===Minor=== * {{w|Fran Drescher}} - Eunice * [[Molly Shannon]] - Wanda * {{w|Paul Brittain}} - Pandragora * {{w|Luenell}} - Shrunken Head * {{w|Chris Parnell}} - The Fly * {{w|Robert Smigel}} - Marty * Pax Sandler - Wally * TBA - Wayne Jr., Wilson, Whoopi, Waylon and Weepy == See also == * [[Hotel Transylvania]] ** [[Hotel Transylvania: The Series|The Series]] * [[Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation]] * [[Hotel Transylvania: Transformania]] ==External links== *{{Wikipedia-inline}} *{{Commonscat-inline}} * {{IMDb title|2510894}} {{Hotel Transylvania}} {{Authority control}} [[Category:2015 computer-animated films]] [[Category:2015 American animated films]] [[Category:American computer-animated films]] [[Category:American 3D animated films]] [[Category:American children's animated comedy films]] [[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]] [[Category:Films about Frankenstein]] [[Category:American sequel films]] [[Category:Dracula films]] [[Category:Animated films set in hotels]] [[Category:Screenplays by Adam Sandler]] [[Category:Films set in Transylvania]] [[Category:Films set in Romania]] [[Category:Films set in California]] [[Category:Films directed by Genndy Tartakovsky]] [[Category:Screenplays by Robert Smigel]] [[Category:Films about vacationing]] [[Category:Films about grandfather–grandson relationships]] [[Category:Films about grandfather–granddaughter relationships]] [[Category:Animated films about father–daughter relationships]] [[Category:Animated films about mother–son relationships]] [[Category:Animated films about father–son relationships]] [[Category:Films about in-law relationships]] [[Category:Animated films about shapeshifting]] [[Category:Animated films about weddings]] [[Category:Hotel Transylvania]] fwcq7uf9qrui9xkbxl7l3ly5u5lhyqb 0 183335 3942249 3825418 2026-05-18T05:46:05Z ~2026-29057-99 3321460 /* Stunning and Brave [19.01] */ 3942249 wikitext text/x-wiki {{DISPLAYTITLE:''South Park''/Season 19}} {{South Park header}} '''''[[w:South Park|South Park]]''''' (1997–present) is an adult animated television series created by [[w:Trey Parker|Trey Parker]] and [[w:Matt Stone|Matt Stone]]. Distributed by and airing on Comedy Central, it follows the surreal adventures of four young boys who live in the small town of South Park, Colorado. ===''[[w:Stunning and Brave|Stunning and Brave]]'' [19.01]=== :''[The students and parents are all assembled in an emergency meeting at the school cafeteria at night]'' :'''Mr. Mackey''': ''[speaking into the microphone]'' Alright, parents and students, please take your seats. ''[Randy gleefully throws a crumpled up piece of paper at him]'' M'kay, m'kay. Now as you (all) know, there was an incident at the school last week involving a student referring to rape as a "Hot Cosby," m'kay? ''[several people laugh]'' Listen, listen! Principal Victoria has been fired. :'''Various Men''': What? Fired? :'''Cartman''': Sweet, dude! :'''Mr. Mackey''': And a new person has been appointed to try and make South Park Elementary a more... progressive place that... fits in with today's times. Heh m'kay? So please welcome... PC Principal. :'''PC Principal''': All right, listen up. My name is PC Principal. I don't know about you, but frankly I'm sick and tired of how minority groups are marginalized in today's society. I'm here because this place is lost in a time warp! Students who still use the word "retarded"! [[w:Eek, a Penis!|A teacher who said women without wombs should get an AIDS test!]] :'''Mr. Garrison''': Oh, I was a lesbian then. :'''PC Principal''': A chef "person of color" who the children had sing soul songs and who the children [[w:The Return of Chef|drove to kill himself]]! :'''Butters''': No, he got brainwashed by a cult. :'''PC Principal''': And that's two days' detention for you, young man, we'll see you at 4. :'''Butters''': What?! :'''PC Principal''': Let me ask you this. We're in Colorado, right? Where are the Hispanic kids? Huh? Where are the ethnic and racial minorities? :'''Mr. Mackey''': Well, we got Token. He's black. :'''PC Principal''': And that's two days' detention for you, Mackey, congratulations. :'''Mr. Mackey''': Wha— I got detention? :'''PC Principal''': I Googled South Park before I came here, and I cannot believe the shit you're getting away with! People claiming to be [[w:The Cissy|advocates of transgender rights, but really just wanting to use the women's bathroom]]! A white man who thinks he's Chinese and [[w:Child Abduction Is Not Funny|built a wall to keep out Mongolians]]! :'''Tuong Lu Kim''': Ohhhh, I hate-a Mongorians! :'''PC Principal''': What the fuck is this? Are you fucking kidding me? I'm telling you all, this is done! Like it or not, PC is back, and it's bigger than ever! Woowoowoo! You hear that? That's the sound of 2015 pulling you over, people! Suck it! <hr width=50%/> :'''Gerald''': Uhm, hi, I'm Gerald, Kyle Broflovski's father? :'''PC Principal''': Have a seat. I've been talking with your child, and we're gonna be giving him two weeks' detention. :'''Gerald''': Wh-what's this about, Kyle? :'''PC Principal''': Your son said some things to a fourth-grade girl that frankly make me wanna puke. Now that I'm principal, I'm not gonna allow ''[pounds desk]'' anyone at this school to be made feel unsafe and harassed! :'''Gerald''': Wh-wh-what did he say? :'''PC Principal''': You'll have to excuse my language. ''[picks up a report and clears his throat]'' "I don't think [[Caitlyn Jenner]] is a hero." :''[no reaction from Gerald or Kyle. PC Principal starts shaking in repressed rage]'' :'''PC Principal''': This kind of trans-phobic and bigoted hate speech isn't going to fly here, Bro! Well, I thought we were all on board that [[Caitlyn Jenner]] is an amazing, ''[quickly stands up]'' beautiful woman who had the exquisite bravery of a butterfly flying against the wind, '''''AND THEN THIS SHIT COMES OUT OF PEOPLE'S MOUTHS!!''''' :'''Gerald''': ''[beat]'' PC Principal, I-I'm sure Kyle was just referring to Bruce Jenner as a person, a-and not trying to say anything against— :'''PC Principal''': You got a problem, Mr. Broflovski? :'''Gerald''': ..No... :'''PC Principal''': Bruce Jenner? Oh. Wait a second. Wait a second! Cuz it's not Bruce Jenner!! IT'S CAITLYN!! AND SHE'S A FRACKING STUNNING WOMAN!! Or maybe you're the one teaching him to demean women in the first place! HUH!? What's up? What's fucking up, bro? :'''Gerald''': Look, maybe we can all just ta— :'''PC Principal''': ''[flips his desk]'' '''''GET THE FRACK OUTTA HERE, DUDE!!!''''' (gets the idea) Frack? Yeah. <hr width=50%/> :'''Gerald''': Kyle's already got two weeks of detention. :'''Stephen''': Huh for what? :'''Gerald''': Just 'cause he said something about [[Caitlyn Jenner]]. ''[a hush falls over the table]'' :'''Stephen''': Oh, [[Caitlyn Jenner]]. She's a hero. She is stunning and brave. :'''Stuart''': Stunning. She is absolutely beautiful, and an inspiration. :'''Ryan''': Yup! :'''Randy''': Yup, that's right. <hr width=50%/> :'''Cartman''': ''[meets PC Principal]'' Oh, PC Principal. How are you today? :'''PC Principal''': Doing good. What are you doing in the faculty bathroom? :'''Cartman''': You know, I think you and I got off on the wrong foot the other day. By all means, please, keep your dick out. You see, I'm not going to accept four days of detention, and... you're going to apologize publicly for being so strict to me and my friends at school. :'''PC Principal''': What the frack are you talking about? :'''Cartman''': It's just a request, that's all. See you around. Oh, you seem to have dropped something, PC Principal. ''[picks up a pair of underwear]'' What's this? Why, this is a little boy's underwear. ''[sniffs it]'' Why, this is Butters's underwear. :'''PC Principal''': What? :'''Cartman''': PC Principal, you have Butters's underwear? And now— ''[sloshes underwear in the urinal]'' Oh my gosh, it's got your DNA all over it. This certainly doesn't look good for you. I don't need to tell anyone about this. No, I think we have an understanding. Capiche? :'''PC Principal''': ''[pause]'' What did you just say? :'''Cartman''': You mean about keeping your dick out? :'''PC Principal''': "Capiche"? You're associating Italian-Americans to intimidation tactics?! You better watch your microaggressions, bro! :'''Cartman''': O-Kay. Look, you don't want to end up like the spokesman for Subway, do you? :'''PC Principal''': Did you just use a term that excludes women from an occupation?! ''[picks Cartman up]'' :'''Cartman''': Okay, let's back up. ''[gets slammed against the stall]'' AAAHHH! ''[PC Principal slams him several times into the wall next to the mirror]'' :'''PC Principal''': Wait a second. DID YOU JUST SAY "SPOKESMAN" INSTEAD OF "SPOKESPERSON"? WHEN WOMEN ARE JUST AS CAPABLE OF SELLING SANDWICHES AS ANYONE? ''[smashes Cartman into the mirror]'' ARE YOU PURPOSELY TRYING TO USE WORDS THAT ASSERT YOUR MALE PRIVILEGE? ''[smashes Cartman's head into a sink]'' :'''Cartman''': No, I'm sorry! I was just trying to frame you for raping Butters! :'''PC Principal''': DO YOU THINK ITALIAN-AMERICANS AND WOMEN ARE LESS IMPORTANT? ''[throws Cartman on the floor]'' :'''Cartman''': Oh, God! :'''PC Principal''': ''[punches Cartman to a bloody pulp]'' '''''YOU DARE USE WORDS THAT ALIENATE TWO COMMUNITIES OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO DEAL WITH VERBAL BIASES LIKE YOURS ON A DAILY BASIS?''''' <hr width=50%/> :'''Kyle''': '''''ENOUGH! STOP! EVERYONE STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!''''' This is so wrong! I can't let it continue! This is not ever what I intended! Thank you. I just want to say... [[Caitlyn Jenner]] is a hero. There is no other way to say it. What she did took bravery, and she is absolutely stunning. ===''[[w:Where My Country Gone?|Where My Country Gone?]]'' [19.02]=== :''[South Park Elementary; Mr. Garrison enters his classroom along with his students]'' :'''Mr. Garrison''': Okay children, let's take our seats. As you've probably noticed, our government has decided to let anyone who wants to cross the border and screw up our country! I know you're all as pissed off as I am, so why don't we begin today's lesson on why the once-great empire of Rome, fell to shit! Huh?! Who can tell my why Rome fell to shit?! ''[all the Canadian kids raise their hands]'' No, somebody who matters. ''[the Canadian students begin to clamor; puts his left hand over his nose and closes his eyes]'' Alright, fine, (you) in the orange shirt. :'''Canadian Kid #1''': The Roman Empire, buddy, was facing ehh several issues, guy, and they reached a new millennium, friend, and rather- :'''Mr. Garrison''': ''[irritated]'' Oh, speak in English! ''[turns around and begins writing on the chalkboard]'' You see, what happened is that these immigrants called the Goths were welcomed into Roman territories because some people felt bad for them. ''[another Canadian boy checks his watch and hops off his seat, opens a small case and pulls out a trumpet]'' And then the Goths suddenly decided they were being oppressed, you see, and so then- ''[the boy begins to play "Feels So Good" by Chuck Mangione; turns around]'' What the hell are you doing? ''[the other Canadian kids get out of their seats and whip out their trumpets to play the song]'' :'''Canadian Kid #2''': It's 8:00 A.M., guy. :'''Mr. Garrison''': ''[loses his temper, then throws his notes, and the chalk]'' That's it! Why don't you canucks go back where you came from?! ''[they stop and look aghast at him]'' <hr width=50%> :'''Mr. Garrison''': ''Where has my country gone?'' :''Where has my country gone?'' :''It was a land of opportunity that we held dear'' :''But now all these other assholes are coming here.'' :''And where's my country gone?'' :''It was just here like, two seconds ago'' :'''Cause when they said that this was the land of the free'' :''I'm pretty sure that they were referring to me.'' :''And my country's gone!'' :''It got upset and now it's wandered away'' :''It took forty-three Presidents to make us stand tall'' :''And just [[Barack Obama|one black guy]] to unravel it all.'' :''Country gone!'' :''Please tell it that we need her back home'' :''There's a great big hole in the liberty bucket'' :'''Cause someone forgot to tell the foreigners to suck it'' :''And now they're all hanging out on my lawn...'' :''[three Canadians play "Feels So Good" with their flugelhorns]'' :''And now they're ruining my song'' :''Making it sound like {{w|Chuck Mangione}}'' :''Where's my country gone?'' <hr width=50%> :'''PC Principal''': All right, everyone, listen up. In order for better understanding, we've asked students of Canadian origin to introduce you to their culture and—'''''HEY, LESLIE, SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!!!!''''' Now where was I? Oh. yeah. We've asked students of Canadian origin To introduce you to their culture and customs. So let's give them our undivided attention as they take us on a whirlwind journey through their diverse history. ''[hands microphone to Canadian kids]'' :'''Canadian Kids 1''': We are the Hopewell and Abenaki, first settlers of Canadian soil, guy. ''[hands mic over to second group]'' :'''Canadian Kids 2''': We are French and British explorers, seeking furs and goods. ''[Mr. Garrison walks up and takes the mic]'' :'''Mr. Garrison''': Yeah, and I'm [[Dan Rather]], and I got news for you! Nobody wants you here! ''[long beat]'' Sorry not sorry! It's time for someone to say it like it is, and make our country great again! :'''PC Principal''': Garrison, what do you think you're—?! :'''Mr. Garrison''': And I'm also not afraid to stand up to PC Principal! You, sir, have a pizza face and you suck your mom's dick! :'''PC Principal''': ''[beat]'' That's it, Garrison! You are fired from South Park Elementary! :'''Mr. Garrison''': Oh, see? And now I'm fired! That's the cold, hard truth of immigration! Well, there's only one immigration policy that I believe in, and that's f**k them all to death!! ''[all students gasp]'' I'm just saying what everyone's thinking here, kids! Sorry not sorry! :''[Later in the school hallway, the Canadian kids walk off angrily]'' :'''Stan''': Dude, the Canadians are pissed off. :'''Token''': Can you really blame them? <hr width=50%> :'''Canadian President''': ''[dances to the song, sees Mr. Garrison come in and stops]'' What?? ''[turns off the music]'' Hey! How did a US citizen get past my wall?! :'''Mr. Garrison''': I came here to find out where my country gone! :'''Canadian President''': Where your country gone? Where'd my country gone?! :'''Mr. Garrison''': No, where MY country gone, bitch?! :'''Canadian President''': Nobody talks to me like that, buddy! ''[goes around his desk]'' :'''Mr. Garrison''': Nobody talks to me like that, friend! ''[they begin to fight on the carpet]'' Eurgh! Yeah? :'''Canadian President''': Stupid-! Unh! :'''Mr. Garrison''': Little asshole! :'''Canadian President''': This is why I built that wall! :'''Mr. Garrison''': You think you can-? Hey! Here you go! Here you go! Look, guy, I came here to do one thing! :'''Canadian President''': Hey, what the-? Aah! Hey, that pokes, buddy! Aah! :'''Aide''': Oh my God, guy. :'''Canadian President''': Please! Please, I can't- Oh. NO! No please, NO! NO! Ohhh! Ohhh! Nooo! ===''[[w:The City Part of Town|The City Part of Town]]'' [19.03]=== :'''Mayor McDaniels''': I've called you all here because South Park has an image problem. Thanks to Mr. Garrison, we are now being referred to as the "shitheads of America". One of our more politically sensitive citizens has proposed an idea for this crisis and I'd like you to hear him out. ''[Randy takes the dais]'' :'''Randy''': Hello everyone, I'm Randy Marsh, and I've been PC for almost two weeks now. You know, we've all been making changes to be more socially conscious, but have we really done enough? The truth is, there's something we're lacking as a community, and it's time we all faced it. What this town needs... is a {{w|Whole Foods Market|Whole Foods}}. :''[everyone immediately starts chattering in awe and uncertainty]'' :'''Randy''': It would instantly validate us as a town that cares about stuff. :'''Stephen''': We couldn't get a Whole Foods to open here! :'''Randy''': And why not?! Huh?! We all just don't believe we can get a Whole Foods! Because we don't believe in ourselves! :'''Father Maxi''': Where could it even go? :'''Randy''': Mayor? :'''Mayor McDaniels''': I'm announcing a plan for Sodomy—a new urban development that will turn the most rundown and dilapidated part of our town into a quaint center of artisan shops and cafés. :'''Randy''': Lots of cities are dong this. The area south of downtown South Park has always been the ugly eyesore of this town. But now, SoDoSoPa... is going to bring in the fresh new vibrancy that Whole Foods can't ignore! <hr width=50%/> :'''Randy''': Okay, hold on, everyone listen up! We understand that not everyone is for the town spending money on the Sodomy project. We want everyone to be able to voice their concerns. ''[the McCormicks pause; Stuart stands]'' :'''Stuart''': Yeah, I got concerns! I don't want you touching my darn house!! :'''Johnson''': We realize that when a rejuvenation like this takes place, the lower-income residents fear they'll be priced out of the area. :'''Stuart''': What lower-income residents?! ''Me''?! I work hard and provide for my family just fine! :'''Randy''': Stuart, come on. Your house sucks. :'''Stuart''': Buck you! If you people want to turn something into a vibrant arts district, then do it to Randy's house! :'''Randy''': My house is nice. ===''[[w:You're Not Yelping|You're Not Yelping]]'' [19.04]=== :'''Whistlin' Willy''': Welcome to Whistlin' Willy's. Y'all enjoying this pizza? :'''Male Food Critic''': Look here, my good man, we've been waiting over 15 minutes for you to sing Happy Birthday to our son! :'''Female Food Critic''': Unfortunately for you, we are both restaurant critics, and so is our son! :'''Boy Food Critic''': ''(gets an angry face)'' One-star! :'''Diner Guy''': Excuse me! Emergency! ''[Whistlin' Willy rushes over to see what's up]'' Over here! Emergency! I would like a table. Inside the area with all the little plastic balls please, and make it snappy I am a food critic for Yelp. :'''Whistlin' Willy''': ''(finally seems to snap as he gets enraged)'' '''''THAT DOES IT! I'VE HAD ENOUGH!''''' All you Yelp reviewers, get the '''''hell''''' out of here! I don't ''care'' what happens to my business, I ain't kissing yo' asses '''no more!''' ''[moves the male food critic from the table to the double doors on his chair and throws him against the doors]'' Go on! Every Yelper get the '''''FUCK''''' out of here!! :'''Dennis''': Careful now, Bill. You don't want a one-star review. :'''Whistlin' Willy''': ''(comes to him)'' '''''YOU'RE NOT A FOOD CRITIC, DENNIS, YOU'RE A FUCKIN' MECHANIC! NOW, GET THE FUCK OUT!!! GO ON!! ALL YOU YELPING SONS OF BITCHES, GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!''''' ''(Yelpers begin to stream out of the Whistlin' Willy's Restaurant]'' :'''Male Food Critic''': You're gonna regret this, Whistlin' Willy. You can't treat Yelpers this way. :'''Whistlin' Willy''': You get the f-- '''GET THE FUCK OUT!!!''' ''[kicks the male food critic in the ass for emphasis as the critic goes out the door. He slams the door shut. Gerald shows up a few seconds later.]'' :'''Gerald''': Well, good for you. :'''Whistlin' Willy''': '''''You too, son of a bitch!''''' :'''Gerald''': WHOA! HEY! ''[Whistlin' Willy kicks him out too and slams the door]'' <hr width=50%> :'''Kyle''': ''[annoyed to Cartman when he and the other boys heard the news about Whistlin' Willy's being destroyed by a mob of Yelpers]'' We all... ''loved''... Whistlin' Willy's. :'''Cartman''': It didn't do well with Yelpers. :'''Token''': ''[infuriated]'' You assholes destroyed the best place in town because ''they wouldn't kiss your asses!'' ===''[[w:Safe Space (South Park)|Safe Space]]'' [19.05]=== ===''[[w:Tweek x Craig|Tweek x Craig]]'' [19.06]=== :'''Craig''': ''[to the eight Asian girls in the school lobby as they're drawing; holding up a picture of himself pushing Tweek on a swing, and Tweek enjoying it]'' Uh, excuse me, why are you doing this? :'''Asian Girl #1''': Oh, hi, Craig. ''[speaking Korean to another Asian girl]'' He's wearing a different shirt today. :'''Asian Girl #2''': ''[also speaking Korean]'' How do you know what's underneath his jacket? :'''Craig''': What? What did she say? :'''Asian Girl #3''': I don't know. That was Korean. I'm Japanese. :'''Tweek''': What is going on, huh?! Me and him aren't together! Why is this happening?! <hr width=50%> :'''PC Principal''': Alright, guys, I know there have been a lot of rumors flying around. Just wanted to check in, see if you have any questions for me. :'''Craig''': Why are the Asian girls drawing pictures of us being gay? :'''PC Principal''': What's wrong with being gay? Nothing is wrong with that. :'''Craig''': But we aren't! I'm not! :'''Tweek''': I'm not either! :'''PC Principal''': That is completely irrelevant, okay? What matters, and the reason I brought you in here, is that you understand affirmative consent. :'''Tweek''': What's that? :'''PC Principal''': If there is a romantic relationship here, you have to make sure your partner is comfortable with any sexual exploration. :'''Tweek''': Agh! :'''PC Principal''': Now, in a gay relationship it gets a little trickier, but you still have to follow some guidelines, alright? :'''Craig''': But I'm not gay!! :'''PC Principal''': I don't care about that, bro! Tweek, ''if''—and I'm only saying if—at some point you wanted to touch Craig's penis, you just can't go grabbing for it. Alright? You need to say something like, "Craig, is it alright with you if I touch your penis?" Okay? Let's try it out. :'''Tweek''': No! :'''PC Principal''': You want two weeks' detention instead? This is important! :'''Tweek''': ''[beat]'' ..Craig, can I touch your penis? :'''PC Principal''': Okay, good. Now Craig, you might say, "You may touch my penis. I'm comfortable with that." ''[Craig stays still for a long beat]'' Or, of course, you could say, "No, you may not touch my penis at this time." :'''Craig''': No, you may not! :'''PC Principal''': Okay, now we're getting somewhere. Now Craig, what would you say if you wanted to take a gander at Tweek's asshole? <hr width=50%> :''[The kids circle around Craig and Tweek in the hallway as the two boys get in a scuffle]'' :'''Craig''': You got a fuckin' problem, man?! ''[shoves Tweek]'' :'''Tweek''': ''You're'' the one with the fuckin' problem! ''[shoves Craig in return]'' :'''Craig''': I told you to stay 100 yards from me! :'''Tweek''': You better not fucking push me again, man! <hr width=50%> :'''Flower Delivery Man''': ''[holding some flowers as Liane answers the door]'' Hi. Flower delivery for Eric Cartman. :'''Liane''': Oh my, how beautiful! ''[signs for them and gives them to her son]'' Ooh, look, sweetie. Someone sent you flowers. :'''Cartman''': ''[reading a note that came with them] '''"Can't we just try? Tee Hee."''' [figures out it was Cupid Me who sent the flowers to him]'' Oh, man. :'''Liane''': Who are they from, hon? :'''Cartman''': Someone who needs a ''real'' talking to. <hr width=50%> :'''Tweek''': ''[stand in front of the doorway of the Tucker residence as Thomas answers]'' Hi, is Craig here, sir? :'''Thomas''': Why can't you quit him. :'''Laura''': Thomas. :'''Thomas''': Five minutes. He's in the back. ===''[[w:Naughty Ninjas|Naughty Ninjas]]'' [19.07]=== :'''Mayor McDaniels''': This town is ''outraged'', Officer Barbrady. People are tired of the police not being held accountable for their actions. :'''Barbrady''': Mayor, I didn't know if there was a gunman or a bomb— :'''Johnson''': You shot an unarmed six-year-old Latino child! :'''Barbrady''': ..I'm sorry! :'''Mayor McDaniels''': You are fired. :'''Barbrady''': ''[beat]'' No, Mayor, please! This is all I know! I used to be the only policeman in this town, remember? Bob, I-I used to chase away the sixth graders for you! :'''Mayor McDaniels''': You're from another time, Barbrady, and the last thing that needs to go. Your gun and your badge. ''[Barbrady slowly takes his gun and badge and lays them on the table]'' And your sunglasses. :'''Barbrady''': No, please, not my sunglasses! :'''Johnson''': You're DONE, Barbrady. The town doesn't want you here. :'''Barbrady''': ''[then takes off his sunglasses, opens his eyes after he puts them down]'' Where should I go? :'''Johnson''': You should have thought of that before you shot a Mexican. :'''Mayor McDaniels''': Latino-American. :'''Johnson''': Latino-American. Shit! :'''Mayor McDaniels''': ''[stands up]'' You should go away. You don't belong anywhere in a town as progressive as this one. <hr width=50%> :'''Randy''': Mayor, I didn't bust my ass to gentrify this part of town to have it overrun with homeless people! :'''Mayor McDaniels''': Why are they all suddenly coming here? ''[Gerald and Sheila arrive]'' :'''Gerald''': Mayor, what are you going to do about this?! My wife and I can barely eat or shop! :'''Mayor McDaniels''': When a town like ours has a homeless problem, it must look at the root of what's causing it. :'''Stephen''': ''[arrives with Linda]'' It's [[Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant|ISIS]]! :'''[[w:Randy and Sharon Marsh|Randy]]''': What?! :'''Stephen''': There's these troubled kids who've turned their backs on America! They've taken over Sodomy, forced all the homeless out! :'''Gerald''': Why would kids in our town wanna be a part of ''that''?! :'''Stephen''': They're just bad kids! Rotten on the inside! Probably with shitty parents! <hr width=50%> :'''Mayor McDaniels''': What were you thinking?! Boys innocently playing ninja, and you pull your gun on them?! :'''Aide''': Davíd Rodriguez was lucky to live! :'''Barbrady''': Everybody told me they were terrorists! :'''Mayor McDaniels''': We thought they were! But if it turns out they aren't, as a policeman, you have to figure that out! :'''Barbrady''': But, you said you needed me to kill some kids. :'''Randy''': Oh, he's gonna lay this on us now. I said kill some kids, but I said it as a question, remember? I said "Kill some kids?" :'''Mayor McDaniels''': I'm sorry, but we just can't cover your ass on this one. There's going to be an investigation and ... you just don't have what it takes to be a policeman in today's times. :'''Johnson''': Do you even know what "farm to table" means? ===''[[w:Sponsored Content|Sponsored Content]]'' [19.08]=== :'''Stephen''': ''[reads school paper in bed]'' Wow. Wow, this is so great. Have you ever read the elementary school newspaper, Linda? There's no ads, no sponsored content, no links to click on. Just news stories about what's happening. Did you know that the police in ShiTpaTown beat up homeless to clear them out? Do you know long it's been since I was able to just sit back and read the news? I got so used to getting news off the Internet. But I feel like I'm always trying to chase the news somehow. ''[sets paper down]'' It's like... I'm in a black void, trying to reach the news story. ''[sees himself running in a void of content]'' But then the next thing I know I'm reading an ad for Gieco. So I click out of that and try to read the news story but it's not a news story, it's a slideshow! And I'm looking at the "Worst Celebrity Plastic Surgery Jobs Ever". So of course I want to see the next line of plastic surgery gone wrong, so I hit the arrow, but then the arrow wasn't the arrow for the next slide, it was to take me to an ad for face cream. ''Haugh!'' I wanted to get a news story, but I'm reading about face cream and I try to click out of it, but the ad is following me, it's-it's following me all over the screen!! ''Nooo!'' So I click on the close button, but it wasn't a close button, it was another slideshow, and I just want to know what's happening in the Middle East, but instead, I'm looking at the "Top 10 Scariest Movies of All Time", and that's not the arrow for the next slide, it's another ad! ''Aaagh!!'' ''[comes back to reality]'' But this... this is just news. And I don't get lost in all the bull shoot. ''[sees Linda focusing on her smartphone]'' Linda? LINDA!! <hr width=50%> :'''Representative''': Hello. You're the boy responsible for the South Park Super School News? :'''Jimmy''': That's right. :'''Representative''': We would like to give you $26 million. Contracts, and the first check. We'd love to be in business with you. :'''Jimmy''': What is this for? :'''Representative''': I represent an organization called Gieco. It's an insurance company. We think Super School News would be a great way for us to reach new customers. :'''Jimmy''': Sorry Charlie, but I don't allow ads in my newspaper. :'''Representative''': We've heard all about that, so we thought you could just do some ...news stories about car insurance. Just state the facts, because the truth is, everyone can save by switching to Gieco. :'''Jimmy''': That's called "sponsored content." I know the difference between the news and ads. Do you think I'm stupid? :'''Representative''': Everyone's doing it, Jim. You're sort of the last holdout. $26 million just to write some news stories that get people thinking about their insurance coverage? :'''Jimmy''': Us us us, stick it up your ass! :'''Representative''': Hm. Well, they said you'd be tough. Do you really think you can stop ads? :'''Jimmy''': Yes. :'''Representative''': You can try to block ads, but they get smarter. The more we try to shut them out, the more clever they get. There's a war coming, kid, and I'm gonna make sure I'm on the right side of it. ''[gets shot in the back of his head and killed by Officer Barbrady]'' :'''Jimmy''': Officer Barbrady? :'''Officer Barbrady''': Come with me if you want to live! Come on! Come with me if you want to live! I'm serious! <hr width=50%> :'''Sharon''': Do you want to explain to me what "pussy crushing" is? :'''Randy''': What? :'''Sharon''': Your little meetings you go to at night to discuss social justice?! It's just a way to pick up on young women?! :'''Randy''': Sh-Sharon, most of the guys in my PC club are right out of college, alright? You know how college kids are. :'''Sharon''': I don't want you going over there anymore! :'''Randy''': I don't cheat on you, Sharon! I'm happy. Look at what's happened to our town. We have ShiTpaTown, boutique restaurants and artisan shops. We have a fucking Whole Foods, and that was all me! Diverse people are moving here, and everyone is being aware of how they talk. This is paradise, Sharon! <hr width=50%> :'''PC Principal''': McKinsey, you got consent forms? :'''McKinsey''': Oh, yeah! Right here, bro! ''[hands consent forms to him]'' :'''PC Principal''': Rise and shine, guys! If you scored last night, I'll need your consent forms! ''[the bros hand over their forms]'' Thank you. Thank you. Thank you—whoa! Barker, did you perform cunnilingus? There's a different release form, bro. :'''Barker''': Yeah, uh, s-sorry, it's right here. :'''PC Principal''': Nice. :'''PC Bro''': ''[runs to PC Principal Peter Charles]'' Bro!! Aw, dude, bro!! Peter Charles! :'''PC Principal''': What, bro? Bro! Robert! You're here! Aw! It's so good to see you. Tell me what happened. :'''PC Bro''': Dude, I scored with this female and after consenting to putting her mouth on my penis, she wanted me to walk her home. :'''PC Principal''': Yeah? :'''PC Bro''': And when I got to her house she had me meet her father who is Filipino, so I asked him if he could tell me about their cultural and social dynamic to being a Filipino-American. :'''PC Principal''': Naturally. :'''PC Bro''': So he said some stuff, and then the newspaper landed on his doorstep, 'cause I guess her dad subscribes to the school newspaper, and he picked it up and I saw the headline said this! ''[he shows the paper to PC Principal Peter Charles which headline reads "'PC' STANDS FOR PUSSY CRUSHING"; he grabs paper]'' :'''PC Principal''': What the heck is this, bro? :'''PC Bro''': Peter Charles Bro, that little kid wrote that our tolerant views and fight for social justice is just a way for us to crush puss! :'''PC Principal''': THAT'S NOT TRUE!! :'''PC Bro''': '''I KNOW, Peter Charles BRO!!! WE'RE BEING TOTALLY VICTIMIZED!!!''' :'''PC Principal''': I KNOW THAT LITTLE SUCKER, DUDE!!! ===''[[w:Truth and Advertising|Truth and Advertising]]'' [19.09]=== :''[Fairplay Motel room; Mr. Garrison, Principal Victoria, and Caitlyn Jenner have Randy tied up in a chair for interrogation]'' :'''Randy''': ''[as Mr. Garrison splashes water on him]'' Hey, fuck you. :'''Mr. Garrison''': Wake up, dickhead. :'''Randy''': Garrison? What the hell is wrong with you? :'''Mr. Garrison''': I'll tell you what's wrong with me. There's enemies to humanity out there wantin' to put an end to all of us, and there's assholes like you helpin' them out! :'''Randy''': I don't know what you're talking about. :'''Principal Victoria''': Whose idea was it to revitalize the shitty part of town into an arts-and-foods district called Shi Tpa Town? :'''Randy''': All right, it was kind of my idea. :'''Mr. Garrison''': Son of a bitch. :'''Randy''': What? To take one area of town that was crappy and gentrify it for the local people to enjoy? I thought we could keep it contained! :'''Principal Victoria''': It doesn't contain. What's happened to South Park is happening everywhere. ''[takes out an album book]'' Thirty miles south of here in the town of Fairplay, they've changed the area north of downtown into NODOFOPA. A run-down area south of the capital in Cheyenne, Wyoming, is now historic SOCACHEYWO. Channel Street in mid-Chicago is being revitalized into Chimichanga. :'''Randy''': Oh my God. :'''Principal Victoria''': LODO, SOBRO, RIVMO… All happening at the same time. And it isn't just in the U.S. In Cairo, the area northwest of the third pyramid is NoWe3Pi. Three miles north of Auschwitz is NoMoAuchie. It goes on and on! :'''Randy''': What does it mean? :'''Mr. Garrison''': In our town it all started when PC Principal arrived. He's part of a much larger conspiracy, and you're his lackey. <hr width=50%> :''[Lunchtime in the school cafeteria]'' :'''Stan''': Think about it, you guys. From the moment that PC Principal took over Kyle has been different. Haven't you noticed? :'''Butters''': Yeah. :'''Stan''': He's distracting us, either because he's too afraid or because he- ''[Kyle arrives with his lunch and sits next to him; Butters is stunned that Kyle showed up]'' :'''Kyle''': Well what are you guys talking about? :'''Butters''': Nothin'. :'''Cartman''': Stan's calling you a traitor. :'''Kyle''': What?! :'''Stan''': Kyle, I think it's pretty obvious you don't want us investigating PC Principal. :'''Kyle''': And why do you think that, Stan?! :'''Stan''': I don't know. :'''Kyle''': Because if anyone has a reason for us not mess with PC Principal, it's you! Let's not forget that Stan's dad is PC Principal's little bitch! :'''Butters''': Wuh huh, that's a good point. :'''Cartman''': I am loving this right now. :'''Stan''': My dad's stupid, not a bitch! This is about you being scared, Kyle! :'''Kyle''': It is you, isn't it?! That's why you're trying to shift the blame on me. That's very Cartman of you, Stan! :'''Cartman''': Hohh that's low. ''[smiles]'' :'''Stan''': Don't you dare call me a Cartman! :'''Kyle''': N-ho, that's good! Just keep on distracting everybody! It seems to be working, Cartman! :'''Stan''': ''[talking in Cartman's voice]'' FUCK YOU, KYLE! ''[delivers a left hook and Kyle falls off the lunch bench]'' :'''Cartman''': Fight! ===''[[w:PC Principal Final Justice|PC Principal Final Justice]]'' [19.10]=== :''[Cartman's house, night]'' :'''Liane''': Eric Cartman, I told you to get ready for bed! :'''Cartman''': Yeah, I just wanna finish this movie. :'''Liane''': No, Eric! This is a school night! :'''Cartman''': Mom, I'm into this movie. I'm not going to bed right now. Chillax. :'''Liane''': You most certainly are! Right now, mister! :'''Cartman''': ''[hops off the sofa and aims his gun at her]'' I will go to bed when this movie is over, Mom! :'''Liane''': Eric, where did you get that? :'''Cartman''': Turn off the light and go back to bed. I'm staying up. :'''Liane''': Eric, you march right up to your room, and you- :'''Cartman''': I don't think so, Mom. :'''Liane''': Eric, you get your butt to bed! :'''Cartman''': No means no, Bill Cosby! :'''Liane''': ''[draws '''her''' gun on him]'' I told you to go upstairs right now! :'''Cartman''': Whoa, Mom, what the hell? :'''Liane''': I'm not going to tell you again, Eric! It is time for night-night! :'''Cartman''': Mom, put down the gun. :'''Liane''': ''[advances on him]'' I am your mother, and you will do what I tell you! :'''Cartman''': Okay, I am going. ''[walks around her, keeping his gun trained on her]'' :'''Liane''': Well then, you go right now, Mister! ''[keeps her gun trained on him]'' :'''Cartman''': I'm going to bed now, Mom. Chillax. ''[begins to go up the stairs backward]'' :'''Liane''': Alright then. No comic books, just straight to sleep! I love you, sweetie. :'''Cartman''': Okay, I love you too, Mom. Night-night. ''[the sound of a door closing is heard]'' :'''Liane''': ''[caresses her pistol]'' Wow, he... he listened. ''[puts it into her robe pocket and walks towards the kitchen]'' <hr width=50%> :''[Marsh house; Randy has his gun drawn]'' :'''Randy''': I'm warning you. You're on the wrong side of this. We're just trying to get answers. :'''Sharon''': ''[drawing her gun on him]'' You pulled a gun on our son, Randy! :'''Randy''': He pulled one on me first, Sharon! :'''Stan''': Because you wouldn't talk to me, Dad! :'''Randy''': Stanley, let your mother and I deal with this! :'''Sharon''': I told you to leave him alone! :'''Shelley''': God, I hate this family! ''[pulls out her gun at Sharon]'' Why are you always taking Stan's side?! :'''Randy''': Whoa! Whoa, Shelley! Put down the gun, Shelley! :'''Shelley''': You're always acting like Stan can't do anything wrong! :'''Stan''': She doesn't always take my side! :'''Shelley''': You shut up or I'll swear to God I'll use this. :'''Randy''': Shelley, put it down, now. :'''Shelley''': You don't even try to know me, Dad! :'''Randy''': I want to, Shelley! I just sometimes like you hate me! :'''Sharon''': I feel like ''you'' hate me, Randy! :'''Randy''': I don't hate you, I LOVE you! I need to be a better husband, a better father! :'''Stan''': We all need to be better to each other! :'''Shelley''': Okay, maybe I need to stop being so angry! :'''Randy''': ..I love you guys. :'''Stan''': We love you too, Dad. We just wanna know what's going on with you. :'''Randy''': All right. I'll tell you everything. ''[holds his gun]'' Wow, these things are amazing. <hr width=50%> :'''Randy''': Shelley, you take care of Grandpa! :'''Shelley''': Okay! ''[cocks her gun aims it at Grandpa Marvin]'' :'''Randy''': No, no, no, don't shoot Grandpa! Just literally take care of him. <hr width=50%> :'''Jimmy''': "Tragedy at gunshow?" What happened at the gun show? :'''Nathan''': Not what happened, what's going to happen. The final sweeping underneath the rug. By this time tomorrow nobody will be asking questions ever again. The ads will have won. And I will be... The man. :'''Classi''': I think the ads are playin' yo' ass. :'''Nathan''': ''[slaps her across the face]'' Shut up Classiii! :'''Classi''': Oh heeelllllll no! :'''Nathan''': What? :'''Classi''': Oh hell no! Yo' Down's Syndrome ass just slapped me! I'mo break your dick off! ''[picks him up and slams him into the glass wall that doubles as a window]'' :'''Nathan''': Hang on, Classi, I'm sorry. :'''Classi''': ''[punches him]'' I will bust yo' fuckin' ass! ''[punches him again]'' I will bust yo' f**kin' nose! I ain't no Mimsy, asshole! ''[punches him repeatedly]'' I'm a clasy bitch! And I do not, want ads, controllin' my news! ''[she lets a thoroughly beaten Nathan slide to the floor]'' :'''Jimmy''': Classi, thank you! :'''Classi''': You need my help? You got it! :'''Jimmy''': I need your phone to call Officer Barbrady. And we have to get to that gun show, fast! :'''Classi''': Quick! To the Classi mobile! <hr width=50%> :''[Randy, Sharon, Stan, Mr. Garrison, Principal Victoria, and Caitlyn Jenner enter the arena, all arming their guns]'' :'''Randy''': Nobody move! :'''Mr. Garrison''': Everyone just stay where you are! :'''Announcer''': And it looks like the gun show is under attack, David. ''[everyone in attendance gets their guns and arms them]'' :'''David''': Yes, six armed gunmen have entered the arena, one of which is carrying an absolutely gorgeous little Pekingese Glock 17. :'''Randy''': Listen to me, everyone! There are beings who are purposely gentrifying the Earth so that humans can no longer afford it! We've been looking for Kyle Broflovski! Somebody's hiding him! ''[the spectators begin pointing guns at each other]'' :'''Kyle''': ''[enters the arena at the far end with Leslie]'' Don't listen to them! The real conspiracy here are the PC extremists who have no problem killing whoever doesn't think like they do! ''[faces Stan, aiming his gun at him]'' You son of a bitch Stan! How could you have sided with the enemy?! :'''Stan''': Fuck you, Kyle! ''You're'' the enemy! :'''Jimmy''': ''[enters the arena at the near end with Classi and Barbrady]'' You've both got it wrong. :'''Kyle''': Jimmy? :'''Mr. Garrison''': Officer Barbrady? :'''Randy''': Classi? :'''Sharon''': ''[aims her gun at randy]'' Randy? :'''Jimmy''': Kyle, I know you probably thought Leslie was a kind, caring girl. But the truth is she's just an ad. :'''Randy''': An ad? :'''Officer Barbrady''': They've become sentient, they've taken human form. You can't tell what's human and what's an ad anymore. :'''Mr. Garrison''': Oh, Jeez, are you serious? How am I supposed to fuck an ad to death? :'''Randy''': Ugh, flippin' ads! They're such a pain in the ass! :'''Kyle''': ''[to Leslie]'' You told me Jimmy was dead. :'''Stan''': So now we know who got Principal Victoria fired. :'''Mr. Mackey''': ''[looks around, then jumps out of his seat]'' Nobody move! Okay? Everyone just stay where you are! :'''Randy''': Mackey? :'''Mr. Mackey''': Yes, I wanted Principal Victoria fired! But I didn't want any of this! :'''Principal Victoria''': ''You'' got me fired?! Why?! :'''Mr. Mackey''': Eighteen years of answerin' to you! EIGHTEEN YEARS! Of you always… tellin' me what to do! :'''Principal Victoria''': If you had problems with me, why didn't you just talk to me?! :'''Mr. Mackey''': You never listen! Nobody listens to me! They just expect me to listen to them! :'''Gerald''': Maybe we should have realized that sometimes the counselor needs counseling. :'''Mr. Mackey''': I don't know, maybe I got manipulated by these ads too somehow but, I should have been a better person! :'''Randy''': We all could be better people! All of us! We all played a part! :'''Stephen''': Maybe from now on people in this town need to communicate more! Care about each other! :'''Mr. Garrison''': If we're gonna defeat our enemies, that's what it's gonna take! All of us, together! :''[With all the speeches done, they lower their weapons]'' :'''Randy''': If only we'd had these before, huh? :'''Leslie''': ''[isolated]'' Every time you block us, we get smarter. Every time you try to stop us, we are more. If one plan fails, we will plan another. You will never be rid of ads. :'''PC Principal''': '''''HEY, LESLIE!''''' ''[Leslie looks to her left, terrified]'' Your species took PC and twisted it for evil purposes. ''[starts running towards her and drops the mic]'' THAT PISSES ME OFF! ''[he reaches her and delivers a right hook, then a left one, then does this again; He picks her up like a rag doll and holds her by the neck]'' You're expelled. ''[he delivers a final blow that goes clear through her head, but instead of blood, a day-glow blue liquid oozes out of it]'' :'''Cartman''': Yes, dude! <hr width=50%> :'''PC Principal''': Alright everyone, listen up. I don't know about you, but I for one am sick and tired of all the hate speech and microaggressions against our species. We have a new enemy out there. An almost invisible foe that is so bigoted, so racially biased they actually think we should all die. They are trying to attract our youth using tactics that are underhanded and unfair. But no matter how hard they hit us, we cannot let them take from us our PC. And so I have been asked to stay on as your principal. A lot of changes will happen in the coming months. The bottom line is that the only thing that distinguishes those who want to kill us from those who don't is that we have the burning desire for social justice. We are at war, but the only way to win this war is to be as understanding, non-biased, and politically correct as possible. :'''Stan''': ''[to his friends]'' This is going to be really hard. == External links == {{wikipedia|South Park season 19}} [[Category:South Park seasons|19]] 503ep5o8de9anpzxfv22tmnx18yym7n 3942250 3942249 2026-05-18T05:47:52Z ~2026-29057-99 3321460 /* Stunning and Brave [19.01] */ 3942250 wikitext text/x-wiki {{DISPLAYTITLE:''South Park''/Season 19}} {{South Park header}} '''''[[w:South Park|South Park]]''''' (1997–present) is an adult animated television series created by [[w:Trey Parker|Trey Parker]] and [[w:Matt Stone|Matt Stone]]. Distributed by and airing on Comedy Central, it follows the surreal adventures of four young boys who live in the small town of South Park, Colorado. ===''[[w:Stunning and Brave|Stunning and Brave]]'' [19.01]=== :''[The students and parents are all assembled in an emergency meeting at the school cafeteria at night]'' :'''Mr. Mackey''': ''[speaking into the microphone]'' Alright, parents and students, please take your seats. ''[Randy gleefully throws a crumpled up piece of paper at him]'' M'kay, m'kay. Now as you (all) know, there was an incident at the school last week involving a student referring to rape as a "Hot Cosby," m'kay? ''[several people laugh]'' Listen, listen! Principal Victoria has been fired. :'''Various Men''': What? Fired? :'''Cartman''': Sweet, dude! :'''Mr. Mackey''': And a new person has been appointed to try and make South Park Elementary a more... progressive place that... fits in with today's times. Heh m'kay? So please welcome... PC Principal. :'''PC Principal''': All right, listen up. My name is PC Principal. I don't know about you, but frankly I'm sick and tired of how minority groups are marginalized in today's society. I'm here because this place is lost in a time warp! Students who still use the word "retarded"! [[w:Eek, a Penis!|A teacher who said women without wombs should get an AIDS test!]] :'''Mr. Garrison''': [[w:D-Yikes!|Oh, I was a lesbian then.]] :'''PC Principal''': A chef "person of color" who the children had sing soul songs and who the children [[w:The Return of Chef|drove to kill himself]]! :'''Butters''': No, he got brainwashed by a cult. :'''PC Principal''': And that's two days' detention for you, young man, we'll see you at 4. :'''Butters''': What?! :'''PC Principal''': Let me ask you this. We're in Colorado, right? Where are the Hispanic kids? Huh? Where are the ethnic and racial minorities? :'''Mr. Mackey''': Well, we got Token. He's black. :'''PC Principal''': And that's two days' detention for you, Mackey, congratulations. :'''Mr. Mackey''': Wha— I got detention? :'''PC Principal''': I Googled South Park before I came here, and I cannot believe the shit you're getting away with! People claiming to be [[w:The Cissy|advocates of transgender rights, but really just wanting to use the women's bathroom]]! A white man who thinks he's Chinese and [[w:Child Abduction Is Not Funny|built a wall to keep out Mongolians]]! :'''Tuong Lu Kim''': Ohhhh, I hate-a Mongorians! :'''PC Principal''': What the fuck is this? Are you fucking kidding me? I'm telling you all, this is done! Like it or not, PC is back, and it's bigger than ever! Woowoowoo! You hear that? That's the sound of 2015 pulling you over, people! Suck it! <hr width=50%/> :'''Gerald''': Uhm, hi, I'm Gerald, Kyle Broflovski's father? :'''PC Principal''': Have a seat. I've been talking with your child, and we're gonna be giving him two weeks' detention. :'''Gerald''': Wh-what's this about, Kyle? :'''PC Principal''': Your son said some things to a fourth-grade girl that frankly make me wanna puke. Now that I'm principal, I'm not gonna allow ''[pounds desk]'' anyone at this school to be made feel unsafe and harassed! :'''Gerald''': Wh-wh-what did he say? :'''PC Principal''': You'll have to excuse my language. ''[picks up a report and clears his throat]'' "I don't think [[Caitlyn Jenner]] is a hero." :''[no reaction from Gerald or Kyle. PC Principal starts shaking in repressed rage]'' :'''PC Principal''': This kind of trans-phobic and bigoted hate speech isn't going to fly here, Bro! Well, I thought we were all on board that [[Caitlyn Jenner]] is an amazing, ''[quickly stands up]'' beautiful woman who had the exquisite bravery of a butterfly flying against the wind, '''''AND THEN THIS SHIT COMES OUT OF PEOPLE'S MOUTHS!!''''' :'''Gerald''': ''[beat]'' PC Principal, I-I'm sure Kyle was just referring to Bruce Jenner as a person, a-and not trying to say anything against— :'''PC Principal''': You got a problem, Mr. Broflovski? :'''Gerald''': ..No... :'''PC Principal''': Bruce Jenner? Oh. Wait a second. Wait a second! Cuz it's not Bruce Jenner!! IT'S CAITLYN!! AND SHE'S A FRACKING STUNNING WOMAN!! Or maybe you're the one teaching him to demean women in the first place! HUH!? What's up? What's fucking up, bro? :'''Gerald''': Look, maybe we can all just ta— :'''PC Principal''': ''[flips his desk]'' '''''GET THE FRACK OUTTA HERE, DUDE!!!''''' (gets the idea) Frack? Yeah. <hr width=50%/> :'''Gerald''': Kyle's already got two weeks of detention. :'''Stephen''': Huh for what? :'''Gerald''': Just 'cause he said something about [[Caitlyn Jenner]]. ''[a hush falls over the table]'' :'''Stephen''': Oh, [[Caitlyn Jenner]]. She's a hero. She is stunning and brave. :'''Stuart''': Stunning. She is absolutely beautiful, and an inspiration. :'''Ryan''': Yup! :'''Randy''': Yup, that's right. <hr width=50%/> :'''Cartman''': ''[meets PC Principal]'' Oh, PC Principal. How are you today? :'''PC Principal''': Doing good. What are you doing in the faculty bathroom? :'''Cartman''': You know, I think you and I got off on the wrong foot the other day. By all means, please, keep your dick out. You see, I'm not going to accept four days of detention, and... you're going to apologize publicly for being so strict to me and my friends at school. :'''PC Principal''': What the frack are you talking about? :'''Cartman''': It's just a request, that's all. See you around. Oh, you seem to have dropped something, PC Principal. ''[picks up a pair of underwear]'' What's this? Why, this is a little boy's underwear. ''[sniffs it]'' Why, this is Butters's underwear. :'''PC Principal''': What? :'''Cartman''': PC Principal, you have Butters's underwear? And now— ''[sloshes underwear in the urinal]'' Oh my gosh, it's got your DNA all over it. This certainly doesn't look good for you. I don't need to tell anyone about this. No, I think we have an understanding. Capiche? :'''PC Principal''': ''[pause]'' What did you just say? :'''Cartman''': You mean about keeping your dick out? :'''PC Principal''': "Capiche"? You're associating Italian-Americans to intimidation tactics?! You better watch your microaggressions, bro! :'''Cartman''': O-Kay. Look, you don't want to end up like the spokesman for Subway, do you? :'''PC Principal''': Did you just use a term that excludes women from an occupation?! ''[picks Cartman up]'' :'''Cartman''': Okay, let's back up. ''[gets slammed against the stall]'' AAAHHH! ''[PC Principal slams him several times into the wall next to the mirror]'' :'''PC Principal''': Wait a second. DID YOU JUST SAY "SPOKESMAN" INSTEAD OF "SPOKESPERSON"? WHEN WOMEN ARE JUST AS CAPABLE OF SELLING SANDWICHES AS ANYONE? ''[smashes Cartman into the mirror]'' ARE YOU PURPOSELY TRYING TO USE WORDS THAT ASSERT YOUR MALE PRIVILEGE? ''[smashes Cartman's head into a sink]'' :'''Cartman''': No, I'm sorry! I was just trying to frame you for raping Butters! :'''PC Principal''': DO YOU THINK ITALIAN-AMERICANS AND WOMEN ARE LESS IMPORTANT? ''[throws Cartman on the floor]'' :'''Cartman''': Oh, God! :'''PC Principal''': ''[punches Cartman to a bloody pulp]'' '''''YOU DARE USE WORDS THAT ALIENATE TWO COMMUNITIES OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO DEAL WITH VERBAL BIASES LIKE YOURS ON A DAILY BASIS?''''' <hr width=50%/> :'''Kyle''': '''''ENOUGH! STOP! EVERYONE STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!''''' This is so wrong! I can't let it continue! This is not ever what I intended! Thank you. I just want to say... [[Caitlyn Jenner]] is a hero. There is no other way to say it. What she did took bravery, and she is absolutely stunning. ===''[[w:Where My Country Gone?|Where My Country Gone?]]'' [19.02]=== :''[South Park Elementary; Mr. Garrison enters his classroom along with his students]'' :'''Mr. Garrison''': Okay children, let's take our seats. As you've probably noticed, our government has decided to let anyone who wants to cross the border and screw up our country! I know you're all as pissed off as I am, so why don't we begin today's lesson on why the once-great empire of Rome, fell to shit! Huh?! Who can tell my why Rome fell to shit?! ''[all the Canadian kids raise their hands]'' No, somebody who matters. ''[the Canadian students begin to clamor; puts his left hand over his nose and closes his eyes]'' Alright, fine, (you) in the orange shirt. :'''Canadian Kid #1''': The Roman Empire, buddy, was facing ehh several issues, guy, and they reached a new millennium, friend, and rather- :'''Mr. Garrison''': ''[irritated]'' Oh, speak in English! ''[turns around and begins writing on the chalkboard]'' You see, what happened is that these immigrants called the Goths were welcomed into Roman territories because some people felt bad for them. ''[another Canadian boy checks his watch and hops off his seat, opens a small case and pulls out a trumpet]'' And then the Goths suddenly decided they were being oppressed, you see, and so then- ''[the boy begins to play "Feels So Good" by Chuck Mangione; turns around]'' What the hell are you doing? ''[the other Canadian kids get out of their seats and whip out their trumpets to play the song]'' :'''Canadian Kid #2''': It's 8:00 A.M., guy. :'''Mr. Garrison''': ''[loses his temper, then throws his notes, and the chalk]'' That's it! Why don't you canucks go back where you came from?! ''[they stop and look aghast at him]'' <hr width=50%> :'''Mr. Garrison''': ''Where has my country gone?'' :''Where has my country gone?'' :''It was a land of opportunity that we held dear'' :''But now all these other assholes are coming here.'' :''And where's my country gone?'' :''It was just here like, two seconds ago'' :'''Cause when they said that this was the land of the free'' :''I'm pretty sure that they were referring to me.'' :''And my country's gone!'' :''It got upset and now it's wandered away'' :''It took forty-three Presidents to make us stand tall'' :''And just [[Barack Obama|one black guy]] to unravel it all.'' :''Country gone!'' :''Please tell it that we need her back home'' :''There's a great big hole in the liberty bucket'' :'''Cause someone forgot to tell the foreigners to suck it'' :''And now they're all hanging out on my lawn...'' :''[three Canadians play "Feels So Good" with their flugelhorns]'' :''And now they're ruining my song'' :''Making it sound like {{w|Chuck Mangione}}'' :''Where's my country gone?'' <hr width=50%> :'''PC Principal''': All right, everyone, listen up. In order for better understanding, we've asked students of Canadian origin to introduce you to their culture and—'''''HEY, LESLIE, SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!!!!''''' Now where was I? Oh. yeah. We've asked students of Canadian origin To introduce you to their culture and customs. So let's give them our undivided attention as they take us on a whirlwind journey through their diverse history. ''[hands microphone to Canadian kids]'' :'''Canadian Kids 1''': We are the Hopewell and Abenaki, first settlers of Canadian soil, guy. ''[hands mic over to second group]'' :'''Canadian Kids 2''': We are French and British explorers, seeking furs and goods. ''[Mr. Garrison walks up and takes the mic]'' :'''Mr. Garrison''': Yeah, and I'm [[Dan Rather]], and I got news for you! Nobody wants you here! ''[long beat]'' Sorry not sorry! It's time for someone to say it like it is, and make our country great again! :'''PC Principal''': Garrison, what do you think you're—?! :'''Mr. Garrison''': And I'm also not afraid to stand up to PC Principal! You, sir, have a pizza face and you suck your mom's dick! :'''PC Principal''': ''[beat]'' That's it, Garrison! You are fired from South Park Elementary! :'''Mr. Garrison''': Oh, see? And now I'm fired! That's the cold, hard truth of immigration! Well, there's only one immigration policy that I believe in, and that's f**k them all to death!! ''[all students gasp]'' I'm just saying what everyone's thinking here, kids! Sorry not sorry! :''[Later in the school hallway, the Canadian kids walk off angrily]'' :'''Stan''': Dude, the Canadians are pissed off. :'''Token''': Can you really blame them? <hr width=50%> :'''Canadian President''': ''[dances to the song, sees Mr. Garrison come in and stops]'' What?? ''[turns off the music]'' Hey! How did a US citizen get past my wall?! :'''Mr. Garrison''': I came here to find out where my country gone! :'''Canadian President''': Where your country gone? Where'd my country gone?! :'''Mr. Garrison''': No, where MY country gone, bitch?! :'''Canadian President''': Nobody talks to me like that, buddy! ''[goes around his desk]'' :'''Mr. Garrison''': Nobody talks to me like that, friend! ''[they begin to fight on the carpet]'' Eurgh! Yeah? :'''Canadian President''': Stupid-! Unh! :'''Mr. Garrison''': Little asshole! :'''Canadian President''': This is why I built that wall! :'''Mr. Garrison''': You think you can-? Hey! Here you go! Here you go! Look, guy, I came here to do one thing! :'''Canadian President''': Hey, what the-? Aah! Hey, that pokes, buddy! Aah! :'''Aide''': Oh my God, guy. :'''Canadian President''': Please! Please, I can't- Oh. NO! No please, NO! NO! Ohhh! Ohhh! Nooo! ===''[[w:The City Part of Town|The City Part of Town]]'' [19.03]=== :'''Mayor McDaniels''': I've called you all here because South Park has an image problem. Thanks to Mr. Garrison, we are now being referred to as the "shitheads of America". One of our more politically sensitive citizens has proposed an idea for this crisis and I'd like you to hear him out. ''[Randy takes the dais]'' :'''Randy''': Hello everyone, I'm Randy Marsh, and I've been PC for almost two weeks now. You know, we've all been making changes to be more socially conscious, but have we really done enough? The truth is, there's something we're lacking as a community, and it's time we all faced it. What this town needs... is a {{w|Whole Foods Market|Whole Foods}}. :''[everyone immediately starts chattering in awe and uncertainty]'' :'''Randy''': It would instantly validate us as a town that cares about stuff. :'''Stephen''': We couldn't get a Whole Foods to open here! :'''Randy''': And why not?! Huh?! We all just don't believe we can get a Whole Foods! Because we don't believe in ourselves! :'''Father Maxi''': Where could it even go? :'''Randy''': Mayor? :'''Mayor McDaniels''': I'm announcing a plan for Sodomy—a new urban development that will turn the most rundown and dilapidated part of our town into a quaint center of artisan shops and cafés. :'''Randy''': Lots of cities are dong this. The area south of downtown South Park has always been the ugly eyesore of this town. But now, SoDoSoPa... is going to bring in the fresh new vibrancy that Whole Foods can't ignore! <hr width=50%/> :'''Randy''': Okay, hold on, everyone listen up! We understand that not everyone is for the town spending money on the Sodomy project. We want everyone to be able to voice their concerns. ''[the McCormicks pause; Stuart stands]'' :'''Stuart''': Yeah, I got concerns! I don't want you touching my darn house!! :'''Johnson''': We realize that when a rejuvenation like this takes place, the lower-income residents fear they'll be priced out of the area. :'''Stuart''': What lower-income residents?! ''Me''?! I work hard and provide for my family just fine! :'''Randy''': Stuart, come on. Your house sucks. :'''Stuart''': Buck you! If you people want to turn something into a vibrant arts district, then do it to Randy's house! :'''Randy''': My house is nice. ===''[[w:You're Not Yelping|You're Not Yelping]]'' [19.04]=== :'''Whistlin' Willy''': Welcome to Whistlin' Willy's. Y'all enjoying this pizza? :'''Male Food Critic''': Look here, my good man, we've been waiting over 15 minutes for you to sing Happy Birthday to our son! :'''Female Food Critic''': Unfortunately for you, we are both restaurant critics, and so is our son! :'''Boy Food Critic''': ''(gets an angry face)'' One-star! :'''Diner Guy''': Excuse me! Emergency! ''[Whistlin' Willy rushes over to see what's up]'' Over here! Emergency! I would like a table. Inside the area with all the little plastic balls please, and make it snappy I am a food critic for Yelp. :'''Whistlin' Willy''': ''(finally seems to snap as he gets enraged)'' '''''THAT DOES IT! I'VE HAD ENOUGH!''''' All you Yelp reviewers, get the '''''hell''''' out of here! I don't ''care'' what happens to my business, I ain't kissing yo' asses '''no more!''' ''[moves the male food critic from the table to the double doors on his chair and throws him against the doors]'' Go on! Every Yelper get the '''''FUCK''''' out of here!! :'''Dennis''': Careful now, Bill. You don't want a one-star review. :'''Whistlin' Willy''': ''(comes to him)'' '''''YOU'RE NOT A FOOD CRITIC, DENNIS, YOU'RE A FUCKIN' MECHANIC! NOW, GET THE FUCK OUT!!! GO ON!! ALL YOU YELPING SONS OF BITCHES, GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!''''' ''(Yelpers begin to stream out of the Whistlin' Willy's Restaurant]'' :'''Male Food Critic''': You're gonna regret this, Whistlin' Willy. You can't treat Yelpers this way. :'''Whistlin' Willy''': You get the f-- '''GET THE FUCK OUT!!!''' ''[kicks the male food critic in the ass for emphasis as the critic goes out the door. He slams the door shut. Gerald shows up a few seconds later.]'' :'''Gerald''': Well, good for you. :'''Whistlin' Willy''': '''''You too, son of a bitch!''''' :'''Gerald''': WHOA! HEY! ''[Whistlin' Willy kicks him out too and slams the door]'' <hr width=50%> :'''Kyle''': ''[annoyed to Cartman when he and the other boys heard the news about Whistlin' Willy's being destroyed by a mob of Yelpers]'' We all... ''loved''... Whistlin' Willy's. :'''Cartman''': It didn't do well with Yelpers. :'''Token''': ''[infuriated]'' You assholes destroyed the best place in town because ''they wouldn't kiss your asses!'' ===''[[w:Safe Space (South Park)|Safe Space]]'' [19.05]=== ===''[[w:Tweek x Craig|Tweek x Craig]]'' [19.06]=== :'''Craig''': ''[to the eight Asian girls in the school lobby as they're drawing; holding up a picture of himself pushing Tweek on a swing, and Tweek enjoying it]'' Uh, excuse me, why are you doing this? :'''Asian Girl #1''': Oh, hi, Craig. ''[speaking Korean to another Asian girl]'' He's wearing a different shirt today. :'''Asian Girl #2''': ''[also speaking Korean]'' How do you know what's underneath his jacket? :'''Craig''': What? What did she say? :'''Asian Girl #3''': I don't know. That was Korean. I'm Japanese. :'''Tweek''': What is going on, huh?! Me and him aren't together! Why is this happening?! <hr width=50%> :'''PC Principal''': Alright, guys, I know there have been a lot of rumors flying around. Just wanted to check in, see if you have any questions for me. :'''Craig''': Why are the Asian girls drawing pictures of us being gay? :'''PC Principal''': What's wrong with being gay? Nothing is wrong with that. :'''Craig''': But we aren't! I'm not! :'''Tweek''': I'm not either! :'''PC Principal''': That is completely irrelevant, okay? What matters, and the reason I brought you in here, is that you understand affirmative consent. :'''Tweek''': What's that? :'''PC Principal''': If there is a romantic relationship here, you have to make sure your partner is comfortable with any sexual exploration. :'''Tweek''': Agh! :'''PC Principal''': Now, in a gay relationship it gets a little trickier, but you still have to follow some guidelines, alright? :'''Craig''': But I'm not gay!! :'''PC Principal''': I don't care about that, bro! Tweek, ''if''—and I'm only saying if—at some point you wanted to touch Craig's penis, you just can't go grabbing for it. Alright? You need to say something like, "Craig, is it alright with you if I touch your penis?" Okay? Let's try it out. :'''Tweek''': No! :'''PC Principal''': You want two weeks' detention instead? This is important! :'''Tweek''': ''[beat]'' ..Craig, can I touch your penis? :'''PC Principal''': Okay, good. Now Craig, you might say, "You may touch my penis. I'm comfortable with that." ''[Craig stays still for a long beat]'' Or, of course, you could say, "No, you may not touch my penis at this time." :'''Craig''': No, you may not! :'''PC Principal''': Okay, now we're getting somewhere. Now Craig, what would you say if you wanted to take a gander at Tweek's asshole? <hr width=50%> :''[The kids circle around Craig and Tweek in the hallway as the two boys get in a scuffle]'' :'''Craig''': You got a fuckin' problem, man?! ''[shoves Tweek]'' :'''Tweek''': ''You're'' the one with the fuckin' problem! ''[shoves Craig in return]'' :'''Craig''': I told you to stay 100 yards from me! :'''Tweek''': You better not fucking push me again, man! <hr width=50%> :'''Flower Delivery Man''': ''[holding some flowers as Liane answers the door]'' Hi. Flower delivery for Eric Cartman. :'''Liane''': Oh my, how beautiful! ''[signs for them and gives them to her son]'' Ooh, look, sweetie. Someone sent you flowers. :'''Cartman''': ''[reading a note that came with them] '''"Can't we just try? Tee Hee."''' [figures out it was Cupid Me who sent the flowers to him]'' Oh, man. :'''Liane''': Who are they from, hon? :'''Cartman''': Someone who needs a ''real'' talking to. <hr width=50%> :'''Tweek''': ''[stand in front of the doorway of the Tucker residence as Thomas answers]'' Hi, is Craig here, sir? :'''Thomas''': Why can't you quit him. :'''Laura''': Thomas. :'''Thomas''': Five minutes. He's in the back. ===''[[w:Naughty Ninjas|Naughty Ninjas]]'' [19.07]=== :'''Mayor McDaniels''': This town is ''outraged'', Officer Barbrady. People are tired of the police not being held accountable for their actions. :'''Barbrady''': Mayor, I didn't know if there was a gunman or a bomb— :'''Johnson''': You shot an unarmed six-year-old Latino child! :'''Barbrady''': ..I'm sorry! :'''Mayor McDaniels''': You are fired. :'''Barbrady''': ''[beat]'' No, Mayor, please! This is all I know! I used to be the only policeman in this town, remember? Bob, I-I used to chase away the sixth graders for you! :'''Mayor McDaniels''': You're from another time, Barbrady, and the last thing that needs to go. Your gun and your badge. ''[Barbrady slowly takes his gun and badge and lays them on the table]'' And your sunglasses. :'''Barbrady''': No, please, not my sunglasses! :'''Johnson''': You're DONE, Barbrady. The town doesn't want you here. :'''Barbrady''': ''[then takes off his sunglasses, opens his eyes after he puts them down]'' Where should I go? :'''Johnson''': You should have thought of that before you shot a Mexican. :'''Mayor McDaniels''': Latino-American. :'''Johnson''': Latino-American. Shit! :'''Mayor McDaniels''': ''[stands up]'' You should go away. You don't belong anywhere in a town as progressive as this one. <hr width=50%> :'''Randy''': Mayor, I didn't bust my ass to gentrify this part of town to have it overrun with homeless people! :'''Mayor McDaniels''': Why are they all suddenly coming here? ''[Gerald and Sheila arrive]'' :'''Gerald''': Mayor, what are you going to do about this?! My wife and I can barely eat or shop! :'''Mayor McDaniels''': When a town like ours has a homeless problem, it must look at the root of what's causing it. :'''Stephen''': ''[arrives with Linda]'' It's [[Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant|ISIS]]! :'''[[w:Randy and Sharon Marsh|Randy]]''': What?! :'''Stephen''': There's these troubled kids who've turned their backs on America! They've taken over Sodomy, forced all the homeless out! :'''Gerald''': Why would kids in our town wanna be a part of ''that''?! :'''Stephen''': They're just bad kids! Rotten on the inside! Probably with shitty parents! <hr width=50%> :'''Mayor McDaniels''': What were you thinking?! Boys innocently playing ninja, and you pull your gun on them?! :'''Aide''': Davíd Rodriguez was lucky to live! :'''Barbrady''': Everybody told me they were terrorists! :'''Mayor McDaniels''': We thought they were! But if it turns out they aren't, as a policeman, you have to figure that out! :'''Barbrady''': But, you said you needed me to kill some kids. :'''Randy''': Oh, he's gonna lay this on us now. I said kill some kids, but I said it as a question, remember? I said "Kill some kids?" :'''Mayor McDaniels''': I'm sorry, but we just can't cover your ass on this one. There's going to be an investigation and ... you just don't have what it takes to be a policeman in today's times. :'''Johnson''': Do you even know what "farm to table" means? ===''[[w:Sponsored Content|Sponsored Content]]'' [19.08]=== :'''Stephen''': ''[reads school paper in bed]'' Wow. Wow, this is so great. Have you ever read the elementary school newspaper, Linda? There's no ads, no sponsored content, no links to click on. Just news stories about what's happening. Did you know that the police in ShiTpaTown beat up homeless to clear them out? Do you know long it's been since I was able to just sit back and read the news? I got so used to getting news off the Internet. But I feel like I'm always trying to chase the news somehow. ''[sets paper down]'' It's like... I'm in a black void, trying to reach the news story. ''[sees himself running in a void of content]'' But then the next thing I know I'm reading an ad for Gieco. So I click out of that and try to read the news story but it's not a news story, it's a slideshow! And I'm looking at the "Worst Celebrity Plastic Surgery Jobs Ever". So of course I want to see the next line of plastic surgery gone wrong, so I hit the arrow, but then the arrow wasn't the arrow for the next slide, it was to take me to an ad for face cream. ''Haugh!'' I wanted to get a news story, but I'm reading about face cream and I try to click out of it, but the ad is following me, it's-it's following me all over the screen!! ''Nooo!'' So I click on the close button, but it wasn't a close button, it was another slideshow, and I just want to know what's happening in the Middle East, but instead, I'm looking at the "Top 10 Scariest Movies of All Time", and that's not the arrow for the next slide, it's another ad! ''Aaagh!!'' ''[comes back to reality]'' But this... this is just news. And I don't get lost in all the bull shoot. ''[sees Linda focusing on her smartphone]'' Linda? LINDA!! <hr width=50%> :'''Representative''': Hello. You're the boy responsible for the South Park Super School News? :'''Jimmy''': That's right. :'''Representative''': We would like to give you $26 million. Contracts, and the first check. We'd love to be in business with you. :'''Jimmy''': What is this for? :'''Representative''': I represent an organization called Gieco. It's an insurance company. We think Super School News would be a great way for us to reach new customers. :'''Jimmy''': Sorry Charlie, but I don't allow ads in my newspaper. :'''Representative''': We've heard all about that, so we thought you could just do some ...news stories about car insurance. Just state the facts, because the truth is, everyone can save by switching to Gieco. :'''Jimmy''': That's called "sponsored content." I know the difference between the news and ads. Do you think I'm stupid? :'''Representative''': Everyone's doing it, Jim. You're sort of the last holdout. $26 million just to write some news stories that get people thinking about their insurance coverage? :'''Jimmy''': Us us us, stick it up your ass! :'''Representative''': Hm. Well, they said you'd be tough. Do you really think you can stop ads? :'''Jimmy''': Yes. :'''Representative''': You can try to block ads, but they get smarter. The more we try to shut them out, the more clever they get. There's a war coming, kid, and I'm gonna make sure I'm on the right side of it. ''[gets shot in the back of his head and killed by Officer Barbrady]'' :'''Jimmy''': Officer Barbrady? :'''Officer Barbrady''': Come with me if you want to live! Come on! Come with me if you want to live! I'm serious! <hr width=50%> :'''Sharon''': Do you want to explain to me what "pussy crushing" is? :'''Randy''': What? :'''Sharon''': Your little meetings you go to at night to discuss social justice?! It's just a way to pick up on young women?! :'''Randy''': Sh-Sharon, most of the guys in my PC club are right out of college, alright? You know how college kids are. :'''Sharon''': I don't want you going over there anymore! :'''Randy''': I don't cheat on you, Sharon! I'm happy. Look at what's happened to our town. We have ShiTpaTown, boutique restaurants and artisan shops. We have a fucking Whole Foods, and that was all me! Diverse people are moving here, and everyone is being aware of how they talk. This is paradise, Sharon! <hr width=50%> :'''PC Principal''': McKinsey, you got consent forms? :'''McKinsey''': Oh, yeah! Right here, bro! ''[hands consent forms to him]'' :'''PC Principal''': Rise and shine, guys! If you scored last night, I'll need your consent forms! ''[the bros hand over their forms]'' Thank you. Thank you. Thank you—whoa! Barker, did you perform cunnilingus? There's a different release form, bro. :'''Barker''': Yeah, uh, s-sorry, it's right here. :'''PC Principal''': Nice. :'''PC Bro''': ''[runs to PC Principal Peter Charles]'' Bro!! Aw, dude, bro!! Peter Charles! :'''PC Principal''': What, bro? Bro! Robert! You're here! Aw! It's so good to see you. Tell me what happened. :'''PC Bro''': Dude, I scored with this female and after consenting to putting her mouth on my penis, she wanted me to walk her home. :'''PC Principal''': Yeah? :'''PC Bro''': And when I got to her house she had me meet her father who is Filipino, so I asked him if he could tell me about their cultural and social dynamic to being a Filipino-American. :'''PC Principal''': Naturally. :'''PC Bro''': So he said some stuff, and then the newspaper landed on his doorstep, 'cause I guess her dad subscribes to the school newspaper, and he picked it up and I saw the headline said this! ''[he shows the paper to PC Principal Peter Charles which headline reads "'PC' STANDS FOR PUSSY CRUSHING"; he grabs paper]'' :'''PC Principal''': What the heck is this, bro? :'''PC Bro''': Peter Charles Bro, that little kid wrote that our tolerant views and fight for social justice is just a way for us to crush puss! :'''PC Principal''': THAT'S NOT TRUE!! :'''PC Bro''': '''I KNOW, Peter Charles BRO!!! WE'RE BEING TOTALLY VICTIMIZED!!!''' :'''PC Principal''': I KNOW THAT LITTLE SUCKER, DUDE!!! ===''[[w:Truth and Advertising|Truth and Advertising]]'' [19.09]=== :''[Fairplay Motel room; Mr. Garrison, Principal Victoria, and Caitlyn Jenner have Randy tied up in a chair for interrogation]'' :'''Randy''': ''[as Mr. Garrison splashes water on him]'' Hey, fuck you. :'''Mr. Garrison''': Wake up, dickhead. :'''Randy''': Garrison? What the hell is wrong with you? :'''Mr. Garrison''': I'll tell you what's wrong with me. There's enemies to humanity out there wantin' to put an end to all of us, and there's assholes like you helpin' them out! :'''Randy''': I don't know what you're talking about. :'''Principal Victoria''': Whose idea was it to revitalize the shitty part of town into an arts-and-foods district called Shi Tpa Town? :'''Randy''': All right, it was kind of my idea. :'''Mr. Garrison''': Son of a bitch. :'''Randy''': What? To take one area of town that was crappy and gentrify it for the local people to enjoy? I thought we could keep it contained! :'''Principal Victoria''': It doesn't contain. What's happened to South Park is happening everywhere. ''[takes out an album book]'' Thirty miles south of here in the town of Fairplay, they've changed the area north of downtown into NODOFOPA. A run-down area south of the capital in Cheyenne, Wyoming, is now historic SOCACHEYWO. Channel Street in mid-Chicago is being revitalized into Chimichanga. :'''Randy''': Oh my God. :'''Principal Victoria''': LODO, SOBRO, RIVMO… All happening at the same time. And it isn't just in the U.S. In Cairo, the area northwest of the third pyramid is NoWe3Pi. Three miles north of Auschwitz is NoMoAuchie. It goes on and on! :'''Randy''': What does it mean? :'''Mr. Garrison''': In our town it all started when PC Principal arrived. He's part of a much larger conspiracy, and you're his lackey. <hr width=50%> :''[Lunchtime in the school cafeteria]'' :'''Stan''': Think about it, you guys. From the moment that PC Principal took over Kyle has been different. Haven't you noticed? :'''Butters''': Yeah. :'''Stan''': He's distracting us, either because he's too afraid or because he- ''[Kyle arrives with his lunch and sits next to him; Butters is stunned that Kyle showed up]'' :'''Kyle''': Well what are you guys talking about? :'''Butters''': Nothin'. :'''Cartman''': Stan's calling you a traitor. :'''Kyle''': What?! :'''Stan''': Kyle, I think it's pretty obvious you don't want us investigating PC Principal. :'''Kyle''': And why do you think that, Stan?! :'''Stan''': I don't know. :'''Kyle''': Because if anyone has a reason for us not mess with PC Principal, it's you! Let's not forget that Stan's dad is PC Principal's little bitch! :'''Butters''': Wuh huh, that's a good point. :'''Cartman''': I am loving this right now. :'''Stan''': My dad's stupid, not a bitch! This is about you being scared, Kyle! :'''Kyle''': It is you, isn't it?! That's why you're trying to shift the blame on me. That's very Cartman of you, Stan! :'''Cartman''': Hohh that's low. ''[smiles]'' :'''Stan''': Don't you dare call me a Cartman! :'''Kyle''': N-ho, that's good! Just keep on distracting everybody! It seems to be working, Cartman! :'''Stan''': ''[talking in Cartman's voice]'' FUCK YOU, KYLE! ''[delivers a left hook and Kyle falls off the lunch bench]'' :'''Cartman''': Fight! ===''[[w:PC Principal Final Justice|PC Principal Final Justice]]'' [19.10]=== :''[Cartman's house, night]'' :'''Liane''': Eric Cartman, I told you to get ready for bed! :'''Cartman''': Yeah, I just wanna finish this movie. :'''Liane''': No, Eric! This is a school night! :'''Cartman''': Mom, I'm into this movie. I'm not going to bed right now. Chillax. :'''Liane''': You most certainly are! Right now, mister! :'''Cartman''': ''[hops off the sofa and aims his gun at her]'' I will go to bed when this movie is over, Mom! :'''Liane''': Eric, where did you get that? :'''Cartman''': Turn off the light and go back to bed. I'm staying up. :'''Liane''': Eric, you march right up to your room, and you- :'''Cartman''': I don't think so, Mom. :'''Liane''': Eric, you get your butt to bed! :'''Cartman''': No means no, Bill Cosby! :'''Liane''': ''[draws '''her''' gun on him]'' I told you to go upstairs right now! :'''Cartman''': Whoa, Mom, what the hell? :'''Liane''': I'm not going to tell you again, Eric! It is time for night-night! :'''Cartman''': Mom, put down the gun. :'''Liane''': ''[advances on him]'' I am your mother, and you will do what I tell you! :'''Cartman''': Okay, I am going. ''[walks around her, keeping his gun trained on her]'' :'''Liane''': Well then, you go right now, Mister! ''[keeps her gun trained on him]'' :'''Cartman''': I'm going to bed now, Mom. Chillax. ''[begins to go up the stairs backward]'' :'''Liane''': Alright then. No comic books, just straight to sleep! I love you, sweetie. :'''Cartman''': Okay, I love you too, Mom. Night-night. ''[the sound of a door closing is heard]'' :'''Liane''': ''[caresses her pistol]'' Wow, he... he listened. ''[puts it into her robe pocket and walks towards the kitchen]'' <hr width=50%> :''[Marsh house; Randy has his gun drawn]'' :'''Randy''': I'm warning you. You're on the wrong side of this. We're just trying to get answers. :'''Sharon''': ''[drawing her gun on him]'' You pulled a gun on our son, Randy! :'''Randy''': He pulled one on me first, Sharon! :'''Stan''': Because you wouldn't talk to me, Dad! :'''Randy''': Stanley, let your mother and I deal with this! :'''Sharon''': I told you to leave him alone! :'''Shelley''': God, I hate this family! ''[pulls out her gun at Sharon]'' Why are you always taking Stan's side?! :'''Randy''': Whoa! Whoa, Shelley! Put down the gun, Shelley! :'''Shelley''': You're always acting like Stan can't do anything wrong! :'''Stan''': She doesn't always take my side! :'''Shelley''': You shut up or I'll swear to God I'll use this. :'''Randy''': Shelley, put it down, now. :'''Shelley''': You don't even try to know me, Dad! :'''Randy''': I want to, Shelley! I just sometimes like you hate me! :'''Sharon''': I feel like ''you'' hate me, Randy! :'''Randy''': I don't hate you, I LOVE you! I need to be a better husband, a better father! :'''Stan''': We all need to be better to each other! :'''Shelley''': Okay, maybe I need to stop being so angry! :'''Randy''': ..I love you guys. :'''Stan''': We love you too, Dad. We just wanna know what's going on with you. :'''Randy''': All right. I'll tell you everything. ''[holds his gun]'' Wow, these things are amazing. <hr width=50%> :'''Randy''': Shelley, you take care of Grandpa! :'''Shelley''': Okay! ''[cocks her gun aims it at Grandpa Marvin]'' :'''Randy''': No, no, no, don't shoot Grandpa! Just literally take care of him. <hr width=50%> :'''Jimmy''': "Tragedy at gunshow?" What happened at the gun show? :'''Nathan''': Not what happened, what's going to happen. The final sweeping underneath the rug. By this time tomorrow nobody will be asking questions ever again. The ads will have won. And I will be... The man. :'''Classi''': I think the ads are playin' yo' ass. :'''Nathan''': ''[slaps her across the face]'' Shut up Classiii! :'''Classi''': Oh heeelllllll no! :'''Nathan''': What? :'''Classi''': Oh hell no! Yo' Down's Syndrome ass just slapped me! I'mo break your dick off! ''[picks him up and slams him into the glass wall that doubles as a window]'' :'''Nathan''': Hang on, Classi, I'm sorry. :'''Classi''': ''[punches him]'' I will bust yo' fuckin' ass! ''[punches him again]'' I will bust yo' f**kin' nose! I ain't no Mimsy, asshole! ''[punches him repeatedly]'' I'm a clasy bitch! And I do not, want ads, controllin' my news! ''[she lets a thoroughly beaten Nathan slide to the floor]'' :'''Jimmy''': Classi, thank you! :'''Classi''': You need my help? You got it! :'''Jimmy''': I need your phone to call Officer Barbrady. And we have to get to that gun show, fast! :'''Classi''': Quick! To the Classi mobile! <hr width=50%> :''[Randy, Sharon, Stan, Mr. Garrison, Principal Victoria, and Caitlyn Jenner enter the arena, all arming their guns]'' :'''Randy''': Nobody move! :'''Mr. Garrison''': Everyone just stay where you are! :'''Announcer''': And it looks like the gun show is under attack, David. ''[everyone in attendance gets their guns and arms them]'' :'''David''': Yes, six armed gunmen have entered the arena, one of which is carrying an absolutely gorgeous little Pekingese Glock 17. :'''Randy''': Listen to me, everyone! There are beings who are purposely gentrifying the Earth so that humans can no longer afford it! We've been looking for Kyle Broflovski! Somebody's hiding him! ''[the spectators begin pointing guns at each other]'' :'''Kyle''': ''[enters the arena at the far end with Leslie]'' Don't listen to them! The real conspiracy here are the PC extremists who have no problem killing whoever doesn't think like they do! ''[faces Stan, aiming his gun at him]'' You son of a bitch Stan! How could you have sided with the enemy?! :'''Stan''': Fuck you, Kyle! ''You're'' the enemy! :'''Jimmy''': ''[enters the arena at the near end with Classi and Barbrady]'' You've both got it wrong. :'''Kyle''': Jimmy? :'''Mr. Garrison''': Officer Barbrady? :'''Randy''': Classi? :'''Sharon''': ''[aims her gun at randy]'' Randy? :'''Jimmy''': Kyle, I know you probably thought Leslie was a kind, caring girl. But the truth is she's just an ad. :'''Randy''': An ad? :'''Officer Barbrady''': They've become sentient, they've taken human form. You can't tell what's human and what's an ad anymore. :'''Mr. Garrison''': Oh, Jeez, are you serious? How am I supposed to fuck an ad to death? :'''Randy''': Ugh, flippin' ads! They're such a pain in the ass! :'''Kyle''': ''[to Leslie]'' You told me Jimmy was dead. :'''Stan''': So now we know who got Principal Victoria fired. :'''Mr. Mackey''': ''[looks around, then jumps out of his seat]'' Nobody move! Okay? Everyone just stay where you are! :'''Randy''': Mackey? :'''Mr. Mackey''': Yes, I wanted Principal Victoria fired! But I didn't want any of this! :'''Principal Victoria''': ''You'' got me fired?! Why?! :'''Mr. Mackey''': Eighteen years of answerin' to you! EIGHTEEN YEARS! Of you always… tellin' me what to do! :'''Principal Victoria''': If you had problems with me, why didn't you just talk to me?! :'''Mr. Mackey''': You never listen! Nobody listens to me! They just expect me to listen to them! :'''Gerald''': Maybe we should have realized that sometimes the counselor needs counseling. :'''Mr. Mackey''': I don't know, maybe I got manipulated by these ads too somehow but, I should have been a better person! :'''Randy''': We all could be better people! All of us! We all played a part! :'''Stephen''': Maybe from now on people in this town need to communicate more! Care about each other! :'''Mr. Garrison''': If we're gonna defeat our enemies, that's what it's gonna take! All of us, together! :''[With all the speeches done, they lower their weapons]'' :'''Randy''': If only we'd had these before, huh? :'''Leslie''': ''[isolated]'' Every time you block us, we get smarter. Every time you try to stop us, we are more. If one plan fails, we will plan another. You will never be rid of ads. :'''PC Principal''': '''''HEY, LESLIE!''''' ''[Leslie looks to her left, terrified]'' Your species took PC and twisted it for evil purposes. ''[starts running towards her and drops the mic]'' THAT PISSES ME OFF! ''[he reaches her and delivers a right hook, then a left one, then does this again; He picks her up like a rag doll and holds her by the neck]'' You're expelled. ''[he delivers a final blow that goes clear through her head, but instead of blood, a day-glow blue liquid oozes out of it]'' :'''Cartman''': Yes, dude! <hr width=50%> :'''PC Principal''': Alright everyone, listen up. I don't know about you, but I for one am sick and tired of all the hate speech and microaggressions against our species. We have a new enemy out there. An almost invisible foe that is so bigoted, so racially biased they actually think we should all die. They are trying to attract our youth using tactics that are underhanded and unfair. But no matter how hard they hit us, we cannot let them take from us our PC. And so I have been asked to stay on as your principal. A lot of changes will happen in the coming months. The bottom line is that the only thing that distinguishes those who want to kill us from those who don't is that we have the burning desire for social justice. We are at war, but the only way to win this war is to be as understanding, non-biased, and politically correct as possible. :'''Stan''': ''[to his friends]'' This is going to be really hard. == External links == {{wikipedia|South Park season 19}} [[Category:South Park seasons|19]] tggmi2jf1t0pl1amo7ikh3zytphqoxo 0 183519 3942166 2504764 2026-05-17T20:50:24Z Ringbang 4436 retargeted to section 3942166 wikitext text/x-wiki #Redirect [[Lucy Maud Montgomery#Anne of the Island (1915)]] n9d17dq2c6jvw9ya7ptq89ruefubq60 0 184625 3942078 3940679 2026-05-17T14:51:54Z Finisterboy 3120275 3942078 wikitext text/x-wiki Following is a list of last words from media in the '''[[w:Marvel Cinematic Universe|Marvel Cinematic Universe]]''' ('''MCU'''), an American media franchise and shared fictional universe that is centered on a series of superhero films, independently produced by Marvel Studios and based on characters that appear in publications by Marvel Comics. == Films == === ''Infinity Saga'' === ==== Phase One ==== * '''Don't waste it... don't waste your life...''' ** Who: Ho Yinsen ** Source: ''[[Iron Man (2008 film)|Iron Man]]'' ** Note: Yinsen is speaking to Tony Stark while dying from gunshot wounds. * '''This is only a first, crude effort. Stark has perfected his design. He has made a masterpiece of death. A man with a dozen of these can rule all of Asia. And you dream of Stark's throne. We have a common enemy. lf we are still in business, I will give you these designs as a gift. And in turn, I hope you'll repay me with a gift of iron soldiers.''' ** Who: Raza Hamidmi al-Wazar ** Source: ''[[Iron Man (2008 film)|Iron Man]]'' ** Note: Said to Obadiah Stane, who in turn disagrees with the deal he offers him and paralyzes him with a Sonic Taser and leaves him and the militants to be killed by his henchmen. * '''Hold still, you little prick.''' * '''Now it's time for both of us to go.''' ** Who: Iron Monger ** Source: ''[[Iron Man (2008 film)|Iron Man]]'' ** Note: In the official ending, Stane is aiming missiles at Tony Stark, when he is caught in an electric charge, and killed once he falls into the generator. In the original ending, he gets stuck part way down, and has a talk with Tony before his fall continues. * '''So Banner's the only&ndash;''' ** Who: Kathleen Sparr ** Source: ''[[The Incredible Hulk (film)|The Incredible Hulk]]'' ** Note: Struck down by Blonsky while she is interrogating Dr. Sterns about Banner, though it is never confirmed if the blow was fatal * '''Sweet.''' ''(Delta 4: "Booyah!")'' ** Who: Sterling ** Source: ''[[The Incredible Hulk (film)|The Incredible Hulk]]'' * '''I am sorry. All I can give you... is my knowledge...''' ** Who: Anton Vanko ** Source: ''[[Iron Man 2]]'' ** Note: Spoken in Russian. He says these words in the beginning to his son before dying. * '''You lose.''' * '''We will only be the same when you lose everything. When you lose everything that you love.''' ** Who: Whiplash ** Source: ''[[Iron Man 2]]'' ** Note: The first line is said in the official ending, after he activates a self-destruct device and blows himself after being defeated by Iron Man and War Machine. The second line is said in the original ending, where Vanko is killed by War Machine after holding Pepper Potts hostage. * '''It's said you can still hear and see what transpires around you. I hope it's true, so that you may know... your death came... at the hand... of Laufey.''' ** Who: Laufey ** Source: ''[[Thor (film)|Thor]]'' ** Note: Attempts to kill Odin before he is betrayed and killed by Loki. * '''Fool! You cannot control the power you hold. You will burn!''' ** Who: Church Keeper ** Source: ''[[Captain America: The First Avenger]]'' ** Note: Saying this to Schmidt before getting shot dead. * '''Stop him!''' ** Who: Abraham Erskine ** Source: ''[[Captain America: The First Avenger]]'' ** Note: Said before being shot by Heinz Kruger. Before dying from his injuries, Erskine points at Steve Rogers' heart, silently reminding Steve of his promise to remain a good man. * ''(Steve Rogers: "Who the hell are you?")'' '''The first of many. Cut off one head, two more shall take its place.''' ''(crunches cyanide pill)'' '''Hail... HYDRA...''' ** Who: Heinz Kruger ** Source: ''[[Captain America: The First Avenger]]'' ** Note: Saying these words before committing suicide to avoid being interrogated by Rogers. * '''It's okay, boss. This was never gonna work... if they didn't have something... to...''' ** Who: Phil Coulson ** Source: ''[[The Avengers]]'' ** Note: Stabbed in the back by Loki with the Scepter. This is his first death, as in ''Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.'', it is revealed he was deceased for four days before being resurrected. ==== Phase Two ==== * '''Is that all you got? A cheap trick and a cheesy one-liner?''' ''(Tony Stark: "Sweetheart, that could be the name of my autobiography.")'' ** Who: Ellen Brandt ** Source: ''[[Iron Man 3]]'' ** Note: After Tony lures her near a microwave with metal dog tags, it explodes, causing Brandt to be killed and flown into nearby cables. * '''What happens to you? What happens if you go too hot?''' * '''It's all yours now.''' ** Who: Maya Hansen ** Source: ''[[Iron Man 3]]'' ** Note: After threatening to destroy the perfected Extremis formula, Killian shoots Maya in the heart without a second thought when he refuses to spare Tony's life. In the extended version, Maya survives long enough to give Tony the instructions to destroy Extremis. * ''(Iron Man: "The President. Now!")'' '''He's not here. Try the jet stream. Speaking of which, go fish.''' ** Who: Eric Savin ** Source: ''[[Iron Man 3]]'' ** Note: As he is about to escape Air Force One, Savin gets in a fight with Stark's remote-controlled armor and is killed when Stark fires a repulsor blast through Savin's chest at point-blank range. * '''No more false faces. You said you wanted the Mandarin? Well, you're looking right at him. It was always me, Tony, right from the start. ''I AM THE MANDARIN!!!''''' ** Who: Aldrich Killian ** Source: ''[[Iron Man 3]]'' ** Note: Just before he is able to attack Stark, Pepper Potts attacks him from behind, having survived her fall with the help of her new-found Extremis abilities. Just before Killian is able to retaliate, Potts rips a repulsor arm from the Mark VIII suit, attaching it to herself and utilizing its capabilities to finally kill Killian for good. * '''I'll never tell you.''' ** Who: Frigga ** Source: ''[[Thor: The Dark World]]'' ** Note: Answering Malekith's question on where the Aether is, right before being killed by Kurse for not cooperating with Malekith. * '''He is an enemy of Asgard. He was a prisoner in their dungeons.''' ** Who: Algrim ** Source: ''[[Thor: The Dark World]]'' ** Note: Spoken in the Dark Elf Language. Killed by one of his black hole grenades on his belt after stabbing Loki. * '''You think you can stop this? The Aether cannot be destroyed.''' ** Who: Malekith the Accursed ** Source: ''[[Thor: The Dark World]]'' ** Note: Says these words before Thor summons Mjolnir and deals the final blow to Malekith, while Erik Selvig use his scientific equipment to transport Malekith to Svartalfheim, where he is crushed to death by his own damaged ship. * '''I am afraid I have been stalling, Captain. Admit it, it's better this way. We are, both of us, out of time.''' ** Who: Arnim Zola ** Source: ''[[Captain America: The Winter Soldier]]'' ** Note: Says this to Captain America before a missile destroys the facility along with the computers with Zola's conscience. * '''What? Are you crazy? That is a terrible, terrible idea.''' ** Who: Jasper Sitwell ** Source: ''[[Captain America: The Winter Soldier]]'' ** Note: Responding to Rogers' plans to stop Project Insight's launch before he gets thrown out of the car by the Winter Soldier. * '''Hail... HYDRA...''' ** Who: Alexander Pierce ** Source: ''[[Captain America: The Winter Soldier]]'' ** Note: Dying from the gunshot wounds inflicted on him by Nick Fury. * '''Take my hand.''' ** Who: Meredith Quill ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy (film)|Guardians of the Galaxy]]'' ** Note: Peter Quill's mother, dying of brain cancer, says these to Peter before she succumbs to the cancer, given to her by Quill's father, Ego, and dies. * '''Lower your tone! I may be your&ndash;''' ** Who: The Other ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy (film)|Guardians of the Galaxy]]'' ** Note: As Ronan started laying his grievances against Thanos, the Other says these words before Ronan used his Cosmi-Rod to snap the Other's neck, killing him instantly. According to an earlier draft of the script, the Other's complete quote was; ''"I may be your worst enemy."'' * '''I will no longer be your slave!''' ** Who: Carina ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy (film)|Guardians of the Galaxy]]'' ** Note: When the Guardians deliver the Power Stone to the Collector, Carina seizes the opportunity to free herself of slavery and tries to steal the Infinity Stone. However, she is not strong enough to handle it; her body explodes with energy. * '''You will never make it to Ronan.''' ** Who: Korath the Pursuer ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy (film)|Guardians of the Galaxy]]'' ** Note: Said to Star-Lord while trying to stop him from reaching Ronan before he is killed by Drax. * '''Rocket!''' ''(Rocket: "Hold on, Saal! Just&ndash;")'' ** Who: Garthan Saal ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy (film)|Guardians of the Galaxy]]'' ** Note: Said to Rocket Raccoon while trying to hold down against Ronan's ship, the ''Dark Aster'', before Ronan uses the Power of the Orb in the Universal Warhammer to destroy the Nova Corps Ships, killing Saal in the process. * '''''We''... are... Groot.''' ** Who: Groot I ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy (film)|Guardians of the Galaxy]]'' ** Note: Said to Rocket Raccoon while seemingly sacrificing himself to save the rest of the team by enveloping them in a wooden ball grown from himself as Ronan's ship crashes. At the film's conclusion, Rocket has recovered a twig from Groot, which is shown to be re-growing into Baby Groot; however, it has been confirmed by the director that this is a new Groot, and the original Groot is indeed dead. * '''You're a mortal! How?!''' ''(Star-Lord: "You said it yourself, bitch. We're the Guardians of the Galaxy.")'' ** Who: Ronan the Accuser ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy (film)|Guardians of the Galaxy]]'' ** Note: After Rocket and Drax destroy his warhammer, releasing the Power Stone from it, Quill quickly catches the Stone, and, with Gamora, Drax, and Rocket sharing the burden of the Stone's power, a stunned Ronan says these words before Quill directs its energy at Ronan, killing him. * '''The twins.''' ''(Strucker: "They are not ready to take on&ndash;")'' '''No, no, I mean...''' ''(Strucker: "The twins!")'' ** Who: Dr. List ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Age of Ultron]]'' ** Note: Said after the Maximoff twins escaped their cell and before being killed by Iron Man. * '''You'll have to be faster than that.''' * '''About time.''' ** Who: Baron Wolfgang von Strucker ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Age of Ultron]]'' ** Note: Knocked unconscious by Captain America, and says no other lines after that before he is killed in his cell by Ultron, except in the extended version, which shows Strucker being approached by Ultron in his cell, which he initially believed was a jailbreak. * '''I believe it's worth a go.''' ** Who: J.A.R.V.I.S. ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Age of Ultron]]'' ** Note: Said before being uploaded into the Vision, who denies still being J.A.R.V.I.S. * '''You didn't see that coming.''' ** Who: Quicksilver ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Age of Ultron]]'' ** Note: In the final battle against Ultron aboard a chunk of Sokovia, Ultron controls a Quinjet to shoot down Hawkeye as he attempts to save a young boy left in the rubble of a wrecked building. However, Quicksilver runs in front to protect them both, taking the brunt of the bullets before saying this to Hawkeye as he dies. * '''You're unbearably naïve.''' ** Who: Ultron ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Age of Ultron]]'' ** Note: After all of his sentries are destroyed by the Avengers, Ultron, in his last remaining body, says this to Vision, who vaporizes him. * '''Darren, I don't think you understand&ndash;''' ** Who: Frank ** Source: ''[[Ant-Man (film)|Ant-Man]]'' ** Note: When Frank and Darren are alone in the bathroom, Frank says these words before Darren uses a device to turn Frank into goop and wipe him away, flushing him down a toilet. ==== Phase Three ==== * '''You know he knew. Your pal, your buddy, your Bucky.''' ''(Captain America: "What did you say?")'' '''He remembered you. I was there. He got all weepy about it, 'til they put his brain back in a blender. He wanted you to know something. He said to me, "Please tell Rogers, when you gotta go, you gotta go." And you're coming with me.''' ** Who: Crossbones ** Source: ''[[Captain America: Civil War]]'' ** Note: Telling Captain America of a conversation he supposedly had with Bucky, before blowing himself up in an attempt to kill Cap; Scarlet Witch uses her powers to send him away from the heroes, but accidentally ends up sending him into a nearby crowded building, which kills several Wakandan relief workers. * '''When stolen Wakandan vibranium was used to make a terrible weapon, we in Wakanda were forced to question our legacy. Those men and women killed in Nigeria were part of a goodwill mission from a country too long in the shadows. We will not, however, let misfortune drive us back. We will fight to improve the world we wish to join. I am grateful to the Avengers for supporting this initiative. Wakanda is proud to extend its hand in peace.''' ** Who: King T'Chaka of Wakanda ** Source: ''[[Captain America: Civil War]]'' ** Note: Said in a speech before being caught in an explosion at a United Nations embassy caused by Zemo to frame Bucky. * '''Sergeant Barnes?''' ** Who: Howard Stark ** Source: ''[[Captain America: Civil War]]'' ** Note: Assassinated by Bucky Barnes (who was brainwashed by HYDRA as the Winter Soldier) on December 16th, 1991. * '''Help...''' ** Who: Maria Stark ** Source: ''[[Captain America: Civil War]]'' ** Note: Watches in horror as her husband is killed by the Winter Soldier, before she is killed as well. * '''You'd think after all this time I'd be ready. But look at me, stretching one moment out into a thousand, just so I can watch the snow.''' ** Who: The Ancient One ** Source: ''[[Doctor Strange (film)|Doctor Strange]]'' ** Note: Slowing the passage of time before she passes from injuries sustained in a battle with Kaecilius. * '''What is this?''' ** Who: Kaecilius ** Source: ''[[Doctor Strange (film)|Doctor Strange]]'' ** Note: Last words before being combined with the Dark Dimension as a Mindless One, effectively killing Kaecilius. * '''I only ask one thing, that your High Priestess tell him the name of the man what sealed his fate: Taserface!''' ** Who: Taserface ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2]]'' ** Note: After his body wracked by the explosion, Taserface crawls over to a monitor and calls the Sovereign, telling them the coordinates to Yondu and the Guardians of the Galaxy. Taserface dies when an explosion breaks out, and destroys the lower half of the ''Eclector''. Of note, the Sovereign operator who receives his call starts laughing uproariously upon hearing his name, which Taserface witnesses as he dies. * '''Listen to me! You are a God! If you kill me, you'll be just like everybody else!''' ''(Star-Lord: "What's so wrong with that?")'' '''No!''' ** Who: Ego the Living Planet ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2]]'' ** Note: Saying these words to his son, Peter Quill, who had turned against him for being responsible for his mother's death. Quill used his Celestial powers to fight Ego while the rest of the Guardians killed him by planting a bomb on his brain, in the center of the planet. * '''I'm sorry I didn't do none of it right. I'm damn lucky you was my boy.''' ** Who: Yondu Udonta ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2]]'' ** Note: After the Guardians manage to defeat and destroy Ego, Yondu says these words to Quill, whom he escorts away from the destruction of Ego and dies in the vacuum of space. * '''I wonder if you could afford me out there, though. With what I know.''' ''(Vulture: "Excuse me?")'' '''I'm just saying, maybe your wife would like to know where you really get your money from?''' ''(Vulture: "You know what?")'' '''What?''' ''(Vulture: "You're right. I can't afford that.")'' ** Who: Shocker I ** Source: ''[[Spider-Man: Homecoming]]'' ** Note: He and Herman Schultz were selling Chitauri technology to gangster Aaron Davis when Spider-Man disrupts the transaction. After Iron Man saves Spider-Man from Vulture, Shocker is fired for jeopardizing the mission. He then says these last words before being accidentally killed when Vulture mistakes a laser gun with an anti-gravity gun. Schultz is quickly named the new Shocker in his place. * '''Remember this place. Home.''' * '''Asgard... is not a place...''' ** Who: Odin ** Source: ''[[Thor: Ragnarok]]'' ** Note: After Loki banishes Odin on Earth, he becomes close to death. When he dies, his oldest child, Hela, will be freed from prison. After telling his two sons this, he dissolves into glowering showers of energy. In the original scene, set in a New York alleyway, Odin is slain by Hela herself after he loses the energy to contain her in Hel. * '''Who are you? What have you done with Thor?''' ** Who: Volstagg ** Source: ''[[Thor: Ragnarok]]'' ** Note: When Hela begins to attack Asgard after entering the Bifrost, Volstagg stands in her way, with Fandral, and is stabbed twice before dying. * '''Go back to whatever cave you crept out of, you evil demoness!''' ** Who: Hogun ** Source: ''[[Thor: Ragnarok]]'' ** Note: While attempting to fight off Hela, he says these words before being run through with a spear. * '''Hela!''' ** Who: Skurge the Executioner ** Source: ''[[Thor: Ragnarok]]'' ** Note: After working as Hela's executioner, Skurge realized the error of his ways, and redeemed himself by fighting off Hela's minions. However, Hela impales him as he storms up the Bifrost. * '''Whatever game you're playing, it won't work. You can't defeat me.''' ''(Thor: "No, I know. But he can.")'' '''No!''' ** Who: Hela ** Source: ''[[Thor: Ragnarok]]'' ** Note: Hela says this upon seeing Surtur being unleashed, and Thor and Valkyrie send her through a chasm in the Bifrost; During Surtur's destruction of Asgard, he is met with Hela's resistance before he crushes her with his sword. * '''''I am Asgard's doom!''''' ** Who: Surtur ** Source: ''[[Thor: Ragnarok]]'' ** Note: Saying these words as he plunges his sword deep into Asgard and kills Hela, annihilating all of Asgard and himself along with it in the process. * '''You... you really want to go to Wakanda? They're savages! This is what they do to people like us.''' ''(Killmonger: "I ain't worried about no brand. Check these out. Each one is for a kill.")'' '''You can scar yourself as much as you like. To them, you'll just be an outsider. You're crazy to think that you can walk in there.''' ''(Killmonger shows his Wakandan markings)'' '''Ah, and to think I saw you as some crazy American.''' ** Who: Klaw ** Source: ''[[Black Panther (film)|Black Panther]]'' ** Note: Ulysses Klaue teams up with Killmonger. After Klaue refuses to go to Wakanda, Killmonger kills him and takes his body as a token to Wakanda. * '''I observed for as long as I could. Their leaders have been assassinated. Communities flooded with drugs and weapons. They are overly policed and incarcerated. All over the planet, our people suffer because they don't have the tools to fight back. With Vibranium weapons, they can overthrow every country, and Wakanda can rule them all the right way.''' ** Who: N'Jobu ** Source: ''[[Black Panther (film)|Black Panther]]'' ** Note: When T'Chaka confronts N'Jobu for trying to provide Wakandan weapons to oppressed black people in America, T'Chaka had him arrested. N'Jobu tries to kill Zuri but he gets stabbed by T'Chaka with his panther claws. * '''I am the cause of your father's death. Not him. Take me.''' ** Who: Zuri ** Source: ''[[Black Panther (film)|Black Panther]]'' ** Note: When Killmonger battles T'Challa for the throne, Zuri makes a desperate attempt to save his life, offering his life for T'Challa's. Killmonger kills him, then proceeds to defeat T'Challa. * ''(Black Panther: "Maybe we can still heal you.")'' '''Why? So you can just lock me up? Nah. Just bury me in the ocean.... with my ancestors that jumped from the ships, 'cause they knew death.... was better than bondage...''' ** Who: Killmonger ** Source: ''[[Black Panther (film)|Black Panther]]'' ** Note: After being impaled in a fight with T'Challa, Killmonger is helped to a cliff-side where he watches the sunset. T'Challa tries to convince him to stay alive, but Killmonger declines, pulling out the dagger that skewered him and bleeding out. * '''Allfathers, let the dark magic... flow through me one last... time...''' ** Who: Heimdall ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: Heimdall summoned the Bifrost with his last shred of Dark Magic to send Hulk to Earth. Shortly after, Heimdall was impaled by Thanos with Corvus Glaive's weapon. * '''You... will never be... a god.''' ** Who: Loki ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: After failing a desperate trick to destroy Thanos by stabbing him, Loki is strangled to death by Thanos. * '''Painful, aren't they? They were originally designed for microsurgery, and any one of them... could end your friend's life in an instant.''' ''(Iron Man: "I gotta tell you, he's not really my friend. Saving his life is a professional courtesy.")'' '''You've saved nothing. Your powers are inconsequential compared to mine.''' ''(Iron Man: "Yeah, but the kid's seen more movies.")'' ** Who: Ebony Maw ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: While torturing Doctor Strange, Iron Man and Spider Man use the plan from ''Aliens'' that killed the Xenomorph by blasting a hole through the wall of the spaceship, sending Maw flying through space to die. * '''Really? Tears?''' ''(Red Skull: "They are not for him.")'' '''No! This isn't love!''' ''(Thanos: "I ignored my destiny once. I cannot do that again. Even for you. I'm sorry, little one.")'' '''No!''' ** Who: Gamora ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: For Thanos to get the Soul Stone, he must sacrifice someone he loves. He throws Gamora down the abyss to get the Stone. * '''Barely begun, brother.''' ** Who: Shuri ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: In ''Avengers: Endgame'', Shuri is confirmed to be among the victims of the Snap. Later in the film, Professor Hulk is able to bring Shuri back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Guys, we got a Vision situation here!''' ** Who: Falcon I ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: Falcon witnesses Vision fighting off Corvus Glaive. He later crumbles to ash when Thanos snaps his fingers, and is missed by War Machine. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Falcon back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''He will die alone, as will you.''' ** Who: Proxima Midnight ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: Midnight pins down Scarlet Witch, about to kill her, but is dueled by Black Widow and Okoye. She is launched into the air by Wanda's telekinetic powers and sliced in half by one of the Threshers. * '''I thought you were formidable, machine. But you're dying, like any man.''' ** Who: Corvus Glaive ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: While dueling Captain America, and overpowering him, Corvus Glaive is stabbed through the chest by Vision with his own glaive. * '''I love you.''' ** Who: Vision ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: Spoken to Scarlet Witch, after he begs her to destroy the Mind Stone that powers him to prevent Thanos from claiming it and thus completing the Infinity Gauntlet. She tearfully agrees, but Thanos uses the Time Stone to revive Vision and then kill him again to obtain the stone. * ''(Thanos: "I understand, my child. Better than anyone.")'' '''You could never.''' ''(Thanos: "Today, I lost more than you can know. But now is no time to mourn. Now... is no time at all.")'' '''No!''' ** Who: Scarlet Witch ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: When Thanos uses the Time Stone to revive Vision and grab the Mind Stone from his head, Scarlet Witch tries to stop him, but is tossed aside. She later turns to ash when Thanos activates the Gauntlet. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Scarlet Witch back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Steve?''' ** Who: Bucky ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: After Thanos snaps his fingers, Bucky walks to Steve as his hand turns to ash. As Steve runs to him, his whole body crumbles. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Bucky back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Up, General. Up. This is no place to die.''' ** Who: Black Panther I ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: Black Panther reaches his hand out for his general, Okoye, but turns to ash when she takes his hand. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Black Panther back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''I... am... Groot...''' **Translation: '''Dad?''' ** Who: Groot II ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: When Thanos snaps his fingers, Groot begins to crumble to ash. Rocket tearfully asks him not to go, but he fades away. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Groot back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Something's happening.''' ** Who: Mantis ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: When Thanos snaps his fingers, Mantis, who has powerful empathic abilities, senses the pain of those turning to ash around her before she herself is killed. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Mantis back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Quill?''' ** Who: Drax the Destroyer ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: When Thanos snaps his fingers, Drax sees Mantis turn to ash. He turns to Star-Lord before crumbling into ash himself. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Drax back with the Nano Gauntlet. * ''(Iron Man: "Steady, Quill.")'' '''Aw, man.''' ** Who: Star-Lord ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: When Thanos snaps his fingers, Star-Lord watches as two of his fellow Guardians turn to ash. With a realization of what was happening, Star-Lord crumbles to ash. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Star-Lord back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Tony, there was no other way.''' ** Who: Doctor Strange ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: When Thanos was about to kill Tony Stark, Strange exchanged his life for the Time Stone. When Thanos snaps his fingers, and Strange begins to turn to ash, Tony sees Mantis, Drax, and Quill, turning to ash, Stark turns to Strange to which he calmly says these words. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Strange back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''I'm sorry.''' ** Who: Spider-Man ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: After Thanos snaps his fingers, Spider-Man collapses onto Iron Man, crying as he knows he is dying. Iron Man watches as Spider-Man apologizes for failing him and turns to ash. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Spider-Man back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Nick?''' ** Who: Maria Hill ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: When she and Nick Fury witness people being taken by Thanos' snap, she crumbles to ash in front of Nick Fury. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Hill back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Oh, no. Motherf...''' ** Who: Nick Fury ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: After witnessing Maria Hill crumbling to ash, Fury attempts to contact Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel before turning to ash himself. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Fury back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Also, make sure you stay out of the Tardigrade fields. They're cute, but they'll eat you. And don't get sucked into a Time Vortex. We won't be able to save you.''' ** Who: Janet van Dyne ** Source: ''[[Ant-Man and the Wasp]]'' ** Note: Scott Lang goes into the Quantum Realm. Janet tells Scott not to get sucked into a Time Vortex in the Quantum Realm, but turns to ash due to Thanos' snap, along with Hank and Hope. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Janet back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Scott, we read you.''' ** Who: Hank Pym ** Source: ''[[Ant-Man and the Wasp]]'' ** Note: Scott Lang goes into the Quantum Realm. Hank pages Scott from the Quantum Realm, but turns to ash later due to Thanos' snap, along with Janet and Hope. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Hank back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Great. Preparing for re-entry in, five... four... three...''' ** Who: Wasp ** Source: ''[[Ant-Man and the Wasp]]'' ** Note: Scott Lang goes into the Quantum Realm. Wasp prepares to bring him back, but midway through the countdown, she turns to ash due to Thanos' snap, along with her parents. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Wasp back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Now, I gotta blow this engine before they find it.''' ** Who: Mar-Vell ** Source: ''[[Captain Marvel (film)|Captain Marvel]]'' ** Note: Mar-Vell was about to shoot the light-speed engine from the jet before the Kree can find it but was shot and killed by Yon-Rogg. * '''You're too late.''' ** Who: Norex ** Source: ''[[Captain Marvel (film)|Captain Marvel]]'' ** Note: He is killed by Yon-Rogg when he arrives to Earth searching for Vers, who had regained her lost memories and remembered her true name Carol Danvers. * '''On it.''' ** Who: Minn-Erva ** Source: ''[[Captain Marvel (film)|Captain Marvel]]'' ** Note: Minn-Erva takes an order from Yon-Rogg to stop the escaping Skrull refugees. During the attempt, her ship was gunned down by Maria Rambeau, killing her. * '''Here we go.''' ** Who: Cooper Barton ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Endgame]]'' ** Note: While playing catch with his younger brother Nathaniel, he says these words before he is turned to dust along with his mother and siblings. He is later revived by Professor Hulk with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Who puts mayo on a hotdog?''' ** Who: Lila Barton ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Endgame]]'' ** Note: After Laura asks Clint and Lila if they went mayo or mustard on their hotdogs, Lila says these words to her dad. After she and Clint finish archery practice, she is turned to dust along with her mother and siblings. She is later revived by Professor Hulk with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''How about ketchup?''' ** Who: Nathaniel Barton ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Endgame]]'' ** Note: When asked what he wants on his hotdog, he says these words before he along with his mother and siblings are turned to dust by Thanos' Snap. He is later revived by Professor Hulk with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Hey, guys! Enough practice, soup's on!''' ** Who: Laura Barton ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Endgame]]'' ** Note: As Laura was preparing the lunch during their picnic, she, along with all of her children, disappeared after Thanos unleashed the Snap. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Laura back with the Nano Gauntlet. * ''(Nebula: "My father is many things. A liar is not one of them.")'' '''Ah. Thank you, daughter. Perhaps I treated you too harshly.''' ** Who: Thanos ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Endgame]]'' ** Note: Some of the Avengers went to Thanos' planet post-snap to find the stones. Upon learning that he destroyed them, Thor decapitates Thanos. * '''Let me go.''' ''(Hawkeye: "No. Please, no.")'' '''It's okay.''' * '''Copy.''' ** Who: Black Widow ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Endgame]]'' ** Note: In the official scene, Black Widow convinces Hawkeye to allow her to sacrifice herself so he can retrieve the Soul Stone from 2014. In the deleted scene, Black Widow throws herself off the cliff after being injured in Thanos's attack on Vormir, to ensure Hawkeye receives the stone instead of Thanos. * ''(Nebula: "You can change.")'' '''He won't let me.''' ** Who: Nebula (from 2014) ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Endgame]]'' ** Note: During an intense confrontation between herself, Gamora, and her future, redeemed self, the past Nebula refuses to change her ways out of fear of disappointing Thanos and attempts to shoot Gamora, only for her future self to shoot and kill her before she could do so. * '''Sire!''' ** Who: Ebony Maw (from 2014) ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Endgame]]'' ** Note: Maw from 2014 spots Hawkeye escaping with the Nano Gauntlet when the Avengers attempt to bring the Infinity Stones back where they came from. He and Thanos' Black Order are later reduced into ashes after Iron Man snaps his fingers with his own Nano Gauntlet. * '''But, sire, our troops!''' ** Who: Corvus Glaive (from 2014) ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Endgame]]'' ** Note: An enraged Scarlet Witch was rising Thanos into the air telekinetically, which forced him to call an airstrike from his warship, and she alongside the Avengers get blown aside. Glaive from 2014 is later killed when Okoye takes her spear and sends it straight through his chest. * '''I am... inevitable.''' ** Who: Thanos (from 2014) ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Endgame]]'' ** Note: Thanos attempts to perform the snap a second time using the Nano Gauntlet, but is ultimately defeated by Iron Man, who steals the Infinity Stones before Thanos can use them and uses them in his own Nano Gauntlet to reduce him and his Black Order to ash. * '''Hey, Pep.''' ''(Pepper: "Tony. Look at me. We're gonna be okay. You can rest now.")'' ** Who: Iron Man ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Endgame]]'' ** Note: After Iron Man snap his fingers with the stones and he is dying of the Gamma Radiation from the Infinity Stones surging into his body, having only enough energy to acknowledge the presence of his wife, Pepper Potts. * '''You'll see, Peter. People... they need to believe. And nowadays... they'll believe anything.''' ** Who: Mysterio ** Source: ''[[Spider-Man: Far From Home]]'' ** Note: Said before dying from his lethal wounds, sustained when he was caught in the crossfire of his attack drones, and E.D.I.T.H. clarifies that there are no active illusions at play for Peter. But true to Mysterio's words, doctored footage exposing Spider-Man's identity to the world is released shortly after. === ''Multiverse Saga'' === ==== Phase Four ==== * '''Move! What are you waiting for?''' ** Who: General Dreykov ** Source: ''[[Black Widow (2021 film)|Black Widow]]'' ** Note: Dreykov and his men attempt to fly away in an aircraft but were stopped by Yelena Belova, who jams the propeller and destroys the aircraft, killing Dreykov. * '''Our family needs you. Go.''' ** Who: Ying Li ** Source: ''[[Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021 film)|Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings]]'' ** Note: Tells her children to return back inside, before she is murdered by the Iron Gang. * '''I have to save her. She's calling to me.''' ** Who: Mandarin ** Source: ''[[Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021 film)|Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings]]'' ** Note: Last words said to Shang-Chi before the Dweller-in-Darkness emerges from the Dark Gate, snatching the Mandarin and sucking out the lifeforce from his body. * '''Let me out!''' ** Who: The Dweller-in-Darkness ** Source: ''[[Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021 film)|Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings]]'' ** Note: Imitates the voice of Ying Li to trick Wenwu into breaking them out of their prison. Later killed in a battle with Shang-Chi and the Great Protector. * '''Aim for the throat!''' ** Who: Guang Bo ** Source: ''[[Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021 film)|Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings]]'' ** Note: Last words said commanding his army of Ta Lo warriors before a Soul Sucker grabs Guang Bo off the ground and harvests his soul for the Dweller. * '''Remember.''' ** Who: Gilgamesh ** Source: ''[[Eternals (film)|Eternals]]'' ** Note: Mauled by Kro and drained of his powers, before dying of his injuries, while protecting Thena. * '''I've led you down the wrong path.''' ** Who: Ajak ** Source: ''[[Eternals (film)|Eternals]]'' ** Note: Pushed off a cliff by Ikaris into a pack of Deviants led by Kro, who entangles and impales her with his tentacles to absorb her powers. * '''You and I, we're just tools of a God. Built to kill. Thena, remember.''' ** Who: Kro ** Source: ''[[Eternals (film)|Eternals]]'' ** Note: Fails to hypnotize Thena and while attempting to absorb her powers, she breaks free from her hypnosis and generates two swords to dismember Kro into pieces. * '''I'm sorry.''' ** Who: Ikaris ** Source: ''[[Eternals (film)|Eternals]]'' ** Note: Saying these words to Sersi before committing suicide by flying headfirst into the sun. * '''I'm just... gonna catch my breath...''' ** Who: May Parker ** Source: ''[[Spider-Man: No Way Home|Spider-Man: No Way Home]]'' ** Note: She says these words before she succumbs to her injuries after being impaled by the Green Goblin's glider. * '''She was there... because of you. I may have struck the blow, but ''you...'' Ha-ha-ha. You are the one that killed her.''' ** Who: Green Goblin ** Source: ''[[Spider-Man: No Way Home|Spider-Man: No Way Home]]'' ** Note: Last words before he is injected with the Green Goblin anti-serum by MCU Peter, restoring him back to his normal self as Norman Osborn. * '''I know. But, in the grand calculus of the multiverse, your sacrifice is worth more than your life.''' ** Who: Earth-617 Doctor Strange ** Source: ''[[Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness]]'' ** Note: Last words to America Chavez before he's fatally stabbed by the Ribboned Creature. * '''I'm sorry.''' ** Who: Earth-838 Black Bolt ** Source: ''[[Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness]]'' ** Note: Black Bolt's only line, spoken in flashback as he uses his powerful voice to obliterate Earth-838's Doctor Strange. Before he can use it to attack Scarlet Witch, she erases his mouth, causing his power to explode his brain and kill him. * '''Wanda, Black Bolt can destroy you with one whisper from his mouth.''' ''(Scarlet Witch: "What mouth?")'' ** Who: Earth-838 Mister Fantastic ** Source: ''[[Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness]]'' ** Note: After Black Bolt's death, Mister Fantastic attempts to attack Scarlet Witch head-on. He is then pulled apart and stretched out into strings, before she bursts his head. * ''(Scarlet Witch: "Haven't you had enough?")'' '''Oh, I could do this all day.''' ** Who: Earth-838 Captain Carter ** Source: ''[[Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness]]'' ** Note: When Captain Carter throws her shield at Scarlet Witch, she throws the shield back directly at Carter's midsection, bisecting her in half, killing her. * '''Get the hell out of my universe!''' ** Who: Earth-838 Captain Marvel ** Source: ''[[Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness]]'' ** Note: Expelled into a wall by a psionic blast during a standoff with Scarlet Witch, who uses her powers to collapse a statue on top of Captain Marvel, crushing her. * '''Perhaps, if I can pull you from under the rubble, the spell will break.''' ** Who: Earth-838 Professor X ** Source: ''[[Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness]]'' ** Note: Xavier overtakes Scarlet Witch's mind, communicating with the trapped Earth-838 Wanda. However, Scarlet Witch violently rips off Xavier's neck, instantly killing him. * '''Here's the deal: I'll let you use the Darkhold, if you give me your Christine.''' ''(Doctor Strange: "Yeah... I don't think she's gonna go for that.")'' '''No? Didn't think so.''' ** Who: "Sinister Strange" ** Source: ''[[Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness]]'' ** Note: Defenestrated by Strange during their duel, and impaled by a fencepost in his fall. * '''No one will ever be tempted by the Darkhold again.''' ** Who: Scarlet Witch ** Source: ''[[Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness]]'' ** Note: Collapses Wundagore Mountain onto herself in order to destroy all Darkholds across the multiverse, out of guilt for allowing the book to corrupt her, though her final fate is left ambiguous, as her body is never seen, though the tie-in book, ''Marvel Studios' The Marvel Cinematic Universe: An Official Timeline'', does refer her as being deceased. * '''I love you.''' ** Who: Mighty Thor ** Source: ''[[Thor: Love and Thunder]]'' ** Note: Diagnosed with a terminal cancer, Jane became the "Mighty Thor" after coming in possession of a reconstructed Mjolnir, which at first healed her, but it soon begun to increase her cancer. Despite knowing that wielding it one more time will likely kill her, Jane joined Thor in the final battle against Gorr. After destroying the Necrosword and entering Eternity's realm with Thor and Gorr, Jane says these words before vanishing in Thor's arms. Her spirit later appears in Valhalla. * '''Protect her. Protect my love.''' ** Who: Gorr the God Butcher ** Source: ''[[Thor: Love and Thunder]]'' ** Note: Dying of constant use of the Necrosword and near to wish from Eternity, Gorr is given a chance to choose between saving his daughter Love, or killing all gods. After witnessing Jane Foster die in Thor's arms, a remorseful Gorr wishes to have his daughter back to life, and says these words to Thor before dying. * '''Go, child.''' ''(Riri: "Wait, what? And leave you here?")'' '''Run!''' ** Who: Queen Ramonda ** Source: ''[[Black Panther: Wakanda Forever]]'' ** Note: When Namor floods the queen's palace, Queen Ramonda saves Riri Williams from drowning but drowns and dies in the process. ==== Phase Five ==== * '''And at least I died... an Avenger.''' ** Who: M.O.D.O.K. ** Source: ''[[Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania]]'' ** Note: Dies drowning in his own blood and organs after Kang fatally injures him with an energy blast. * '''But you thought you could win.''' ** Who: Kang the Conqueror ** Source: ''[[Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania]]'' ** Note: Shrunken and decimated into his own Multiversal Power Core after a fistfight with Ant-Man. * ''(Mantis: "Who is that maniac?")'' '''Some super douche with ray gun hands! I don't frickin' know.''' ** Who: Rocket Raccoon ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3]]'' ** Note: Last words before being critically injured by Adam Warlock. He later succumbs to his injuries, but is revived by Star-Lord giving him cardiopulmonary resuscitation. * '''Gamora is here. Which means the squirrel is also. To save ourselves, we must bring it to the High Evolutionary before his own people do.''' ** Who: Ayesha ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3]]'' ** Note: Last words on-screen before being killed in the destruction of Counter-Earth. * '''Sky...''' ** Who: Lylla ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3]]'' ** Note: Fatally shot in the back with a blaster by the High Evolutionary. * '''Rocket, Teefs, Floor, go now!''' ** Who: Floor ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3]]'' ** Note: Killed by the High Evolutionary's guards while panicking in her cage. * '''Rocket!''' ** Who: Teefs ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3]]'' ** Note: Killed by the High Evolutionary's guards. * '''You'll kill us both!''' ** Who: Theel ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3]]'' ** Note: Tackled off of the High Evolutionary's ship by Star-Lord and slammed into the ground after a thousand-foot freefall. * '''Controller, I am taking command of the ''Arête''. Disengage all damaged sectors of the ship, and retreat&ndash;''' ** Who: Vim ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3]]'' ** Note: Killed by the High Evolutionary's energy blast during an attempted mutiny. * '''Try anything, and I'll kill her faster than you can move.''' ** Who: Dar-Benn ** Source: ''[[The Marvels]]'' ** Note: Said to Captain Marvel while threatening to kill a pinned down Kamala Khan, before taking her Quantum Band, and using it and the one in her possession in conjunction to tear open another hole in space. The effort in doing so destroys Dar-Benn and leaves behind an opening into the multiverse, which is closed by the combined efforts of the Marvels. * '''Ready to die?''' ** Who: Sabretooth ** Source: ''[[Deadpool & Wolverine]]'' ** Note: Said before being swiftly decapitated by Wolverine. * '''I... I... I don't&ndash;''' ** Who: [[Fantastic Four (2005 film)|Earth-121698]] Human Torch ** Source: ''[[Deadpool & Wolverine]]'' ** Note: Denying saying any of the insults Deadpool had just repeated to Cassandra Nova before the latter telekinetically rips off his skin, killing him. * '''Paradox, we have a problem.''' ** Who: Pyro ** Source: ''[[Deadpool & Wolverine]]'' ** Note: Said before Cassandra snaps his neck. * '''What a mess.''' ** Who: Cassandra Nova ** Source: ''[[Deadpool & Wolverine]]'' ** Note: Atomized by the energy of the Time Ripper when Deadpool and Wolverine overloaded it. * ''(Leader: "I take no pleasure in your death, but I can't have you calling the Captain.")'' '''Who... are... you?''' ''(Leader: "Isn't it obvious? I'm the hero.")'' ** Who: Commander Dennis Dunphy ** Source: ''[[Captain America: Brave New World]]'' ** Note: Heart stopped via vibrational frequency. * '''I'm not here for you.''' ** Who: Taskmaster ** Source: ''[[Thunderbolts*]]'' **Note: Said to Yelena Belova before being shot by Ghost. ==== Phase Six ==== * '''Save our son!''' ** Who: Invisible Woman ** Source: ''[[The Fantastic Four: First Steps]]'' ** Note: Dies after overstraining herself pushing Galactus into a portal away from Earth with her forcefields, but is quickly brought back to life by her son, Franklin, using his reality warping powers. == Live-action television == === ABC === ==== ''[[Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.]]'' ==== * '''We have to live with the choices we make, but sometimes we have to die with them, too.''' ''(Coulson: "I understand. You made a hard call.")'' '''Yes.''' ''(Coulson: "And now I have to make mine.")'' ** Who: Franklin Hall ** Source: ''The Asset'' * '''Please. Look, we can fix you, make you stronger, take the name "Scorch" and make it mean something.''' ** Who: Debbie ** Source: ''Girl in the Flower Dress'' * '''It already does.''' ** Who: Scorch ** Source: ''Girl in the Flower Dress'' ** Note: Seeing no other option to subdue Scorch, Coulson orders Agent May to overdose him with Extremis, which causes him to overheat and explode. * '''Yes, I'm here.''' ** Who: Edison Po ** Source: ''The Magical Place'' ** Note: Said before being killed by the phone he's holding when the Clairvoyant no longer considers him useful. * '''No matter where I go, or what you do to me, I will always&ndash;''' ** Who: Thomas Nash ** Source: ''End of the Beginning'' * '''What do you think, Agent Ward? You shot the wrong Clairvoyant before. Care to shoot the right one?''' ** Who: Victoria Hand ** Source: ''Turn, Turn, Turn'' ** Note: Said before being killed by the HYDRA sleeper agent, Grant Ward. * '''I guess living on the edge really pays off sometimes.''' ** Who: Eric Koenig ** Source: ''The Only Light in the Darkness'' ** Note: Said before being killed off-screen by Grant Ward. * '''I'm sorry I scare you. I know that I'm a monster. But you're the one that can save me.''' ** Who: Blackout ** Source: ''The Only Light in the Darkness'' * '''There's a reason why they say, "Cut off the head." Now, I'll be unsto&ndash;''' ** Who: The Clairvoyant ** Source: ''Beginning of the End'' ** Note: Said before being vaporized by Coulson with the 0-8-4. * '''You got it.''' ** Who: Idaho ** Source: ''Shadows'' ** Note: He dies when the car he's driving hits the currently solid asphalt Carl Creel. * '''I don't want to die.''' ** Who: Isabelle Hartley ** Source: ''Shadows'' ** Note: She dies when the car she riding in hits the currently solid asphalt Carl Creel. * '''I'm happy to comply.''' ** Who: Blizzard ** Source: ''Making Friends and Influencing People'' ** Note: Said after his HYDRA brainwashing takes effect. Skye snipes him off a cargo ship, where he drowns in the water. * '''I'm sorry. Grant, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry.''' ** Who: Christian Ward ** Source: ''The Things We Bury'' ** Note: Grant Ward took his brother to their family home where, after he confess to his childhood bullying, he murders Christian with their parents and burns the house down, making it look like a murder-suicide. * '''Take a team and sweep this place floor by floor.''' ** Who: Daniel Whitehall ** Source: ''What They Become'' * '''No. ''No!''''' ** Who: Antoine Triplett ** Source: ''What They Become'' * '''I'll take your pain.''' ** Who: Katya Belyakov ** Source: ''Melinda'' * '''Sir, watch out!''' ** Who: Sunil Bakshi ** Source: ''The Dirty Half Dozen'' ** Note: Taking the splinter bomb that Simmons was going to use to kill Ward, which reduces Bakshi to ash. * '''You'll get everyone killed, you crazy&ndash;''' ** Who: Robert Gonzales ** Source: ''Scars'' ** Note: Said to Jiaying as he is petrified by the power of the Diviner in her pre-emptive strike against S.H.I.E.L.D. * '''Angels are guardians, Jiaying, but there also heralds sent to reveal the truth, and that is my purpose. I'm here to show the Inhumans exactly what you are. Even in the darkness, they will see the truth.''' ** Who: Raina ** Source: ''S.O.S'' ** Note: Her throat is then slit by Jiaying. * '''Baby...''' ** Who: Kara Palamas ** Source: ''S.O.S'' ** Note: Mistakenly gunned down by Ward who believed she was Agent May. * '''I'm trapped in here? That's not possible. What did you do?''' ** Who: Gordon ** Source: ''S.O.S'' ** Note: After his now-dampened teleportation range leads to him warping into and being impaled by a pipe Fitz was holding. * '''Cal, what are you doing?''' ** Who: Jiaying ** Source: ''S.O.S'' ** Note: Killed by Cal, trying to save Skye from being killed by her, and to spare Skye the pain of being the one to kill her. * '''Go, Jemma!''' ** Who: Will Daniels ** Source: ''4,722 Hours'' ** Notes: As Simmons is rescued from Maveth by Fitz, Daniels ensured her safety by battling Hive, losing his life in the process and having his body taken over. His death would not be revealed until ''Maveth''. * '''What makes you think you can beat me?''' ** Who: Kebo ** Source: ''Among Us Hide...'' ** Note: When Kebo was sent to assassinate Werner von Strucker, his team were ambushed by S.H.I.E.L.D. and Kebo was electrocuted to death in a swimming pool by Bobbi Morse. * '''Just another day. But I scheduled a meeting with Malick, and that way&ndash;''' ** Who: Rosalind Price ** Source: ''Closure'' ** Note: Assassinated by Grant Ward to hurt Coulson and prevent Price from exposing Gideon Malick's allegiance to HYDRA. * '''It's not me!''' ** Who: Luther Banks ** Source: ''Closure'' ** Note: When it was discovered that the ATCU was secretly funded by HYDRA, Banks was assassinated by Giyera. * '''I could move faster if you hadn't shot me. Twice.''' ** Who: Grant Ward ** Source: ''Maveth'' ** Note: He dies when his chest is crushed by Phil Coulson. His corpse is then taken over by Hive, a body-snatching Inhuman, who uses Ward's corpse to escape back to Earth. * '''For Mother Russia!''' ** Who: Anton Petrov ** Source: ''Parting Shot'' ** Note: Petrov dies by the hands of Lance Hunter during an attempt to assassinate Prime Minister Dimitri Olshenko. * '''That's funny. We're trying to do the same&ndash;''' ** Who: Andrew Garner ** Source: ''Spacetime'' ** Notes: Last words before permanently transforming into Lash. * '''Do what you have to.''' ** Who: Stephanie Malick ** Source: ''Paradise Lost'' ** Note: Suffocated afterwards by Hive's powers. * '''So it's you. I was curious who Hive would send. I know what you're gonna do.''' ''(Daisy: "We can't let you keep talking.")'' '''And I won't be kept from my daughter.''' ** Who: Gideon Malick ** Source: ''The Team'' * '''You should be proud of what we've become.''' ** Who: Alisha Whitley ** Source: ''Failed Experiments'' * '''Now you're free.''' ** Who: Lash ** Source: ''Emancipation'' ** Note: Freeing Daisy from Hive's control, right before being impaled by Hellfire. * '''Show me.''' ** Who: Giyera ** Source: ''Ascension'' ** Note: While helping Hive complete his plan to transform the Earth's population into Primitives, Giyera was outwitted and killed by Leo Fitz. * '''I only wanted to make it better.''' ''(Lincoln: "I know")'' '''To feel a connection. But you must feel that already... to sacrifice for them... with all their flaws.''' ** Who: Hive ** Source: ''Ascension'' * '''They're only human.''' ** Who: Lincoln Campbell ** Source: ''Ascension'' * '''You're just like your uncle. You have the same fire.''' ** Who: Lucy Bauer ** Source: ''The Good Samaritan'' ** Note: Said while facing down the Ghost Rider, who then destroys her soul. * '''It's not my end. It's yours.''' ** Who: Eli Morrow ** Source: ''The Laws of Inferno Dynamics'' * '''Look at you. You're disgusting, you son of a&ndash;''' ** Who: Ellen Nadeer ** Source: ''BOOM'' ** Note: Says this after Shockley undergoes Terrigenesis, only to have him literally explode in her face. * '''I believe in Agent Coulson. I believe in S.H.I.E.L.D. Because for all its imperfections, it strives to do the right thing to protect people. You claim to fight for others, for humanity. I think you lost yours a long time ago. And to answer your question, I do have one regret. That I don't have any superpowers of my own that I could use... to kick... your... ass!''' ** Who: Jeffrey Mace ** Source: ''The Man Behind the Shield'' ** Note: Last words before being uploaded into the Framework, where his avatar is killed, and he dies in the real world as well. * '''My programming was to get the Darkhold. That came from Radcliffe. But my impulse to keep Coulson safe and close, that desire... that came from me.''' ''(LMD Coulson: "That's good.")'' '''And I'm sorry to say... you're not him.''' ** Who: Life-Model Decoy Melinda May ** Source: ''Self Control'' * '''Why does she look like me, Holden?''' ** Who: Agnes Kitsworth ** Source: ''Identity and Change'' * '''Go!''' ** Who: Framework Jeffrey Mace, the Patriot ** Source: ''No Regrets'' ** Note: With the others evacuated to safety, the Patriot dies while attempting to hold up the crumbling debris, killing him in the real world as well. * '''The only one dying today is you.''' ** Who: Framework Alistair Fitz ** Source: ''Farewell, Cruel World!'' ** Note: Said to Simmons as he attempts to strangle her, before she accidentally shoots him in the stomach. * '''We should be good here.''' ** Who: Agent Prince ** Source: ''The Return'' * '''Don't you get it? You can't kill me.''' ** Who: A.I.D.A. ** Source: ''World's End'' ** Note: Taunting Coulson about her powers. Then, he reveals he is acting as a host to Ghost Rider, who promptly kills her. * '''This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang, but a&ndash;''' ** Who: Holden Radcliffe ** Source: ''World's End'' ** Note: Calmly accepting the destruction of the Framework with him still in it. * '''This will make a lot more sense once I show you&ndash;''' ** Who: Virgil ** Source: ''Orientation'' ** Notes: Character is killed the aborted future timeline. * '''Understood. We done here?''' ** Who: Tess ** Source: ''Fun & Games'' ** Notes: Character is killed the aborted future timeline, and resurrected by Kree blood in ''The Last Day''. * '''It won't happen again. I was wrong. Please!''' * '''Don't blame yourself.''' ** Who: Ben ** Source: ''Fun & Games'' ** Notes: Character is killed the aborted future timeline. First line is spoken to Kasius, with the second line being a telepathic thought to Daisy Johnson. * '''You stop it, or I will stop you.''' ** Who: Grill ** Source: ''Fun & Games'' ** Notes: Character is killed the aborted future timeline. * '''But good you turned yourself in.''' ** Who: The Vicar ** Source: ''Together or Not at All'' ** Notes: Character is killed the aborted future timeline. * '''You play god over a dead rock. But you're just a coward who hides, then stabs his enemies in the back.''' ** Who: Faulnak ** Source: ''Together or Not at All'' ** Notes: Character is killed the aborted future timeline. * '''I think I can go back to sleep now.''' ** Who: Robin Hinton ** Source: ''The Last Day'' ** Notes: Character is killed the aborted future timeline. * '''I'm not supposed to kill you. But, oh, well.''' ** Who: Sinara ** Source: ''Best Laid Plans'' ** Notes: Character is killed the aborted future timeline. * '''Kasius freed me. I feel no pain.''' ** Who: Tye ** Source: ''Past Life'' ** Notes: Character is killed the aborted future timeline. * '''Strength? They cut off their heads. They must answer for it. They have nowhere to run. We have their ship. Next, we secure all of the trawlers and squeeze the Terrans until they drop at our feet.''' ** Who: Hek-Sel ** Source: ''Past Life'' ** Notes: Character is killed the aborted future timeline. * '''Mack, run! Leave! Go home!''' ** Who: Yo-Yo Rodriguez ** Source: ''Past Life'' ** Notes: Character is killed the aborted future timeline. * '''My father will see me. ''He will have his world!'' Not just the sliver Quake left behind.''' ** Who: Kasius ** Source: ''Past Life'' ** Notes: Character is killed the aborted future timeline. * '''I will be offline sooner than anticipated.''' ''(grunts)'' '''Far sooner. You need to patch in immediately.''' ** Who: Enoch ** Source: ''Past Life'' ** Notes: Character is killed the aborted future timeline. As a result of his Chronicom lifespan, a younger version of Enoch remains alive in the new timeline. * '''Then I'll take you myself''' ** Who: Fear Dimension Manifestation of Mike Peterson ** Source: ''The Real Deal'' * '''Let's hope that that doesn't happen.''' ** Who: The Doctor ** Source: ''The Devil Complex'' ** Notes: These are the last words of the Doctor before Fitz reseals him inside his mind. He remains absent for the rest of the season, and dies with Fitz in ''The End''. * '''I never wanted any of that HYDRA nonsense. I just wanted the Gravitonium.''' ''(Raina: "Oh, no. You misunderstand. It wanted you.")'' '''No.''' ** Who: Ian Quinn ** Source: ''Inside Voices'' ** Notes: Character's demise is depicted in a flashback to the events of ''Beginning of the End''. * '''I have died dozens of times. But you, no second chances.''' ** Who: Superior ** Source: ''The Honeymoon'' * '''I'm not going anywhere.''' ** Who: Werner von Strucker ** Source: ''All Roads Lead...'' * '''I'm losing!''' * '''I won't be able to resist.''' ** Who: Ruby Hale ** Source: ''All Roads Lead...'' ** Notes: First line is spoken by Ruby, with the second line being the Gravitonium speaking through Ruby. * '''You need to take a deep breath and calm your mind, Glenn. You know what's best. It's best if you comply.''' ''(Talbot: "Compliance will be rewarded.")'' '''That's right.''' ''(Talbot: "And so will your betrayal.")'' ** Who: General Hale ** Source: ''The One Who Will Save Us All'' * ''(Talbot: "What do you feel?")'' '''Peace. So much quieter... Wait!''' ''(Talbot: "This part isn't gonna be great for you...")'' '''Sir!''' ''(Talbot: "...Carl...")'' '''No!''' ''(Talbot: "...but it will be over quickly. I promise.")'' ** Who: Absorbing Man ** Source: ''The Force of Gravity'' * '''How?''' ** Who: Qovas ** Source: ''The Force of Gravity'' * '''Well, now I'll just break you in half.''' ** Who: Graviton ** Source: ''The End'' * '''Hey, Mack. I think my legs are broken.''' ** Who: Leo Fitz ** Source: ''The End'' ** Note: As a result of freezing himself to get to the aborted future, a younger version of Fitz remains alive in the new timeline. * '''So, that's a no?''' ** Who: Damon Keller ** Source: ''Code Yellow'' * '''You know what they say, "Every dream is someone else's nightmare."''' ** Who: Phil Coulson ** Source: ''The Other Thing'' ** Note: Last words on-screen before passing away in his sleep. * '''Don't take the bait? Hey, take the bait! Help me!''' ** Who: Pax ** Source: ''Collision Course: Part Two'' ** Note: Spoken through a gag. * '''Don't worry. I'll be a butterfly.''' ** Who: Jaco ** Source: ''Collision Course: Part Two'' * '''I can't shoot Piper, Director.''' ** Who: James Davis ** Source: ''Leap'' * '''I don't need to beat you. I've done what I came here to do. I'll go, and on the other side, you're already dead. As for erasing you from existence, they'll do it for me.''' ** Who: Izel ** Source: ''New Life'' * '''Why continue?''' ''(Quake: "Let me guess, surrender and we'll never suffer again?")'' '''Oh, no. I'll make sure you do. I'll handpick the spirits to take you, to use your flesh, to ravage your insides. Every waking moment, a battle will rage within you.''' ** Who: Pachakutiq ** Source: ''New Life'' * '''And even if you figure out what's going on, there's nothing you can do, because the Chronicoms see everything. They see what you're going to do, and they know exac—''' ** Who: Alternate timeline Wilfred Malick ** Source: ''A Trout in the Milk'' * '''It doesn't matter.''' ** Who: Luke ** Source: ''Adapt or Die'' * '''Fitz. He was my best friend.''' ''(Quake: "And you were a good friend to Fitz. You were a good friend to all of us.")'' '''As I have always...''' ** Who: Enoch ** Source: ''As I Have Always Been'' * '''You're hilarious.''' ** Who: Alternate timeline Gordon ** Source: ''Stolen'' * '''Leave my daughter alone.''' ** Who: Alternate timeline Jiaying ** Source: ''Stolen'' * '''New timeline, new John Garrett.''' ** Who: Alternate timeline John Garrett ** Source: ''The End is at Hand'' * '''All available Hunters, disembark for the Lighthouse, where we have established a stronghold. All spacecraft, prepare to fire on previously targeted S.H.I.E.L.D. posts.''' ''(Coulson: "Now it's my turn to smile. We just needed you to enter your authorization.")'' '''Oh? And what comes next?''' ''(May: "The Cavalry.")'' ** Who: Sibyl ** Source: ''What We're Fighting For'' * ''(Quake: "Those sparks? That means Kora's purged all the Chronicom data from the planet. Turned the attack to our side. Mission accomplished.")'' '''Down on the planet. But up here? These ships are about to vaporize your friends down below. And you can't stop that. There is no way to kill me without killing yourself.''' ''(Quake: "That's the idea.")'' ** Who: Alternate timeline Nathaniel Malick ** Source: ''What We're Fighting For'' ==== ''[[Agent Carter (TV series)|Agent Carter]]'' ==== * '''I want you to tell me all about it, in the morning.''' ** Who: Colleen O'Brien ** Source: ''Now is Not the End'' ** Note: Said before she is killed by Sasha Demidov, the Man in the Green Suit. * '''LOCATED NITRAMENE BUYER. EN ROUTE TO INTERCEPT.''' ** Who: The Man in the Green Suit ** Source: ''Bridge and Tunnel'' * '''I want protection.''' ** Who: Leet Brannis ** Source: ''Bridge and Tunnel'' * '''You're lucky this is a company car.''' ** Who: Ray Krzeminski ** Source: ''Time and Tide'' ** Note: Character's car is rear-ended by another vehicle. When he goes up to the other car, he is shot dead by the driver. * '''It's Russia, man.''' ** Who: Junior Juniper ** Source: ''The Iron Ceiling'' ** Note: During an infiltration mission into the Red Room Academy in Belarus, Juniper is killed by Eva, one of the students of the Academy, who used Dum Dum Dugan's pistol to shoot him. * '''Atta girl.''' ** Who: Roger Dooley ** Source: ''Snafu'' ** Note: Character was hypnotized into wearing a bomb vest. When Peggy Carter promises to capture the hypnotizer, Dooley says these words before jumping out a window and exploding. * '''See, I think that's where you're wrong. No, you're gonna protect me. 'Cause I can go to the Council, too, and tell them what you're up to, and what your wife's up to. So you're gonna help me, or I'm gonna get real yappy real fast.''' ** Who: Rufus Hunt ** Source: ''Smoke & Mirrors'' ** Note: He was killed by Whitney Frost, who absorbed him with Zero Matter. * '''No. Whitney, please. Please, darling, I'm sorry.''' ''(Whitney: "I trusted you.")'' '''I know. Please, don't, please.''' ''(Whitney: "I made you.")'' '''Please, please.''' ** Who: Calvin Chadwick ** Source: ''Life of the Party'' ** Note: Chadwick tried to support and protect his wife when she became infected by Zero Matter, but soon began fearing for his own safety as he went against the Council of Nine and made a deal with Joseph Manfredi. When he tried to betray his wife by handing her over to the Council, Frost used her new powers to kill Chadwick. * '''Because they got you too, bitch!''' ** Who: Vernon Masters ** Source: ''A Little Song and Dance'' ** Note: Response to Frost asking him why he was smiling. Suddenly, Wilkes stormed into the room moments before the Zero Matter inside him overloaded and exploded. Fate left ambiguous. * '''I'm leaving, just give me a second.''' ** Who: Jack Thompson ** Source: ''Hollywood Ending'' ** Notes: Character is shot in the unresolved cliffhanger of the show, leaving his official fate unknown. ==== ''[[Inhumans (TV series)|Inhumans]]'' ==== * '''I'm truly sorry it came to this.''' ** Who: Kitang ** Source: ''Behold... The Inhumans!'' * '''I'm not getting locked away!''' ** Who: Mordis ** Source: ''The Gentleman's Name is Gorgon'' * '''Go!''' ** Who: Gorgon ** Source: ''The Gentleman's Name is Gorgon'' ** Notes: Later brought back to life by Karnak and Auran. * '''You will fail.''' ** Who: Tibor ** Source: ''The Gentleman's Name is Gorgon'' * '''I don't want to hurt you, but I will! I will hurt you! Just stay back!''' ** Who: Evan Declan ** Source: ''...And Finally: Black Bolt'' === Netflix === ==== ''[[The Defenders (TV series)|The Defenders]]'' arc ==== * '''Just once, I want Mattie to hear people cheer for his old man. Just once.''' ** Who: Jack Murdock ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''Cut Man'' ** Note: Said before winning a fight he was meant to throw and being shot dead afterwards. * '''You should have just killed me, you coward.''' ** Who: Tenpin ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''Rabbit in a Snow Storm'' ** Note: Before ramming his head through a spike out of fear of the consequences of telling Matt about Wilson Fisk. * '''Help me... please... help...''' ** Who: Anatoly Ranskahov ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''In the Blood'' ** Note: Said while Wilson Fisk is slamming his head repeatedly in a car door, eventually decapitating him. Spoken in Russian. * ''To be added'' ** Who: Vladimir Ranskahov ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''Condemned'' ** Note: Spoken in Russian. Sacrifices himself to allow Daredevil to escape. * '''Is it my turn for this?''' ** Who: Christian Blake ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''Shadows in the Glass'' * '''You believe this kid? He gets that shit from you.''' ** Who: Bill Fisk ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''Shadows in the Glass'' ** Note: Says these words to his wife before the young Wilson smashes his skull with a hammer. * '''Miss Page&ndash;''' ** Who: James Wesley ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''The Path of the Righteous'' ** Note: Attempting to talk Karen Page into putting down a loaded gun before being shot dead. * '''I wrote a lot of stories in my years pushing ink. You know how many times people have threatened me, get me to keep my mouth shut?''' ** Who: Ben Urich ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''The Ones We Leave Behind'' ** Note: Says this before an enraged Wilson Fisk strangles him to death for talking to Fisk's mother. * '''Wait, wait!''' ** Who: Owl ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''Daredevil'' ** Note: Attempting to reason with Fisk over a failed attempt on Vanessa's life before Fisk throws him down an elevator shaft, killing him. * '''Thank you.''' * '''Thank you, Ms. Jones.''' ** Who: Barbara and Bob Shlottman ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA Ladies Night'' ** Note: Thanking Jessica Jones for getting their daughter Hope back before Hope, under Kilgrave's control, shoots them both dead. * '''Because I love her.''' ** Who: Ruben ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA Top Shelf Perverts'' ** Note: Forced to commit suicide by Kilgrave. * '''She broke it! She broke my Game Boy!''' ** Who: Phillip Jones ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA WWJD?'' ** Note: Last spoken words before being killed in a car crash. * '''Jessica, why did you do that?''' ** Who: Brian Jones ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA WWJD?'' ** Note: Last spoken words before being killed in a car crash. * '''You're our responsibility. We have ''got'' to stop you.''' ** Who: Louise Thompson ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA Sin Bin'' ** Note: Says this before Kilgrave has her stab herself to death with scissors. * '''A hotel on Washington, across from Barbuto.''' ** Who: Oscar Clemons ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA 1,000 Cuts'' ** Note: Informing Will Simpson of Trish and Albert's ploy to create a vaccine against Kilgrave's powers; Simpson then shoots him in the head. * '''Twenty-nine.''' ** Who: Wendy Ross-Hogarth ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA 1,000 Cuts'' ** Note: Attempting to kill Jeri by cutting her a thousand times on Kilgrave's orders. Pam interrupts her by hitting her with a metal vase, the impact of which sends Wendy tumbling head-first into the corner of a table. * '''You can kill him now? Tell me. Tell me! Tell me...''' ** Who: Hope Shlottman ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA 1,000 Cuts'' ** Note: Committing suicide to leave Kilgrave without any leverage in his attempt to walk free. * '''He's stronger... Don't listen... Don't look at him... He'll make you kill!''' ** Who: Albert Thompson ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA Smile'' ** Note: Warning Jessica about Kilgrave before dying from blood loss due to one of Kilgrave's unwilling henchmen cutting his arms off. * '''Tell me you love me.''' ** Who: Purple Man ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA Smile'' ** Note: Saying these words to Jessica, who was at the time resisting his mind controlling powers. She says the words to Trish before she snaps his neck, killing him and freeing everyone else from his control. * '''Anyone crosses us, we'll paint the streets red with their blood, and when they're gone, we'll make your father proud, and purge ourselves of the filthy traitors who betrayed their own kind, and make Hell's Kitchen ours again!''' ** Who: Nesbitt ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''Bang'' ** Note: Character, an Irish mob member, makes a speech before everyone in the room is shot dead by the Punisher. * '''Why didn't you stop him?''' ** Who: Grotto ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''New York's Finest'' ** Note: Bleeding out from a gunshot wound inflicted by Frank Castle that Daredevil could have only stopped by killing Castle. * '''Your family?''' ''(Punisher: "Yeah.")'' '''Who cares!?''' ** Who: Finn Cooley ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''Penny and Dime'' ** Note: Refusing to tell Frank Castle the identity of his family's killers before being shot in the face. * '''You know, this crusade of yours, it's never gonna end, right? Right?''' ** Who: Dutton ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''Seven Minutes in Heaven'' ** Note: Addressing Frank Castle before being stabbed by him in prison. * '''I wanna make sure that nobody else gets hurt. Look, I... I know what I've done here. But please. I don't give a shit about my job anymore. I just wanna keep my family safe.''' ** Who: Samantha Reyes ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''The Man in The Box'' ** Note: Gunned down in her office by the Blacksmith in order to frame Frank Castle. * '''I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I promise it's going to be better now.''' ** Who: Stan Gibson ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''The Man in The Box'' ** Note: Gibson, out of desperation, worked with Daredevil to find and free his son, but was eventually killed by Daniel and another child who suffered from chemical brainwashing by the Hand. * '''Perhaps. It does not matter. We will continue until he breaks.''' ** Who: Hirochi ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''The Dark at the End of the Tunnel'' ** Note: Spoken in Japanese. * '''You stupid son&ndash;''' ** Who: Blacksmith ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''The Dark at the End of the Tunnel'' ** Note: Shot by Frank Castle to exact revenge for his family's death. * '''This is not the end.''' ** Who: Elektra ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''A Cold Day in Hell's Kitchen'' ** Note: Dying in Matt's arms after intercepting a blow meant for him by Nobu. Resurrected in ''The Defenders''. * '''Finish him.''' ** Who: Nobu Yoshioka ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''A Cold Day in Hell's Kitchen'' ** Note: Tells the Hand members to kill Daredevil. Later kicked off a roof by Daredevil and decapitated by Stick. Spoken in Japanese. * '''Cottonmouth always lookin' down at me at the bar. He's gonna know I'm gone. They gonna know it was a inside job.''' ** Who: Dante Chapman ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''Moment of Truth'' ** Note: Shot by Shameek Smith after he voices his concerns over betraying Cottonmouth. * '''Hey, hey, no&ndash;''' ** Who: Shameek Smith ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''Moment of Truth'' ** Note: Smith worked at Harlem's Paradise when he decided to betray his boss, Cottonmouth, and steal his money. However he was soon found and beaten to death by Cottonmouth. * '''Luke... forward... always... always... f-f-forward... forward... always forward...''' ** Who: Pop ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''Code of the Streets'' ** Notes: Repeats his mantra to Luke before dying of gunshot wounds sustained in a drive-by shooting. * '''Hey, hey, hey!''' ** Who: Tone ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''Code of the Streets'' ** Notes: Manages a few surprised grunts before Cottonmouth throws him off the roof of a building for killing Pop. * '''Luke Cage, I... I don't even&ndash;''' ** Who: Chico Diaz ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''Who's Gonna Take the Weight?'' ** Notes: Telling Rafael Scarfe about Luke's raiding of Cottonmouth's safehouses and his willingness to testify against him. Scarfe, actually on Stokes' payroll, proceeds to strangle Chico with his tie. * '''Yeah, you gonna stop me?''' ** Who: Albert Rackham ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''Step in the Arena'' ** Notes: Attempting to destroy Noah Burstein's experiment on Luke Cage when the machine Cage is in explodes. * '''Maybe if we just leave that Luke Cage cat alone, give him his side of the street, we take ours.''' ** Who: Koko ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''Just to Get a Rep'' ** Notes: Attempting to reason with Cottonmouth before being shot. * '''I'm sorry.''' ** Who: Rafael Scarfe ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''Suckas Need Bodyguards'' ** Note: Apologising to Misty Knight for being a double agent for Cottonmouth before bleeding out from a gunshot wound inflicted by Cottonmouth. * '''Every time&ndash;''' ** Who: Pistol Pete ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''Manifest'' ** Note: Pleading with a young Cornell Stokes to spare his life before Cornell is forced to shoot him. * '''Running around half-naked all the time. You wanted it, Mariah. You wanted it and you know it.''' ** Who: Cottonmouth ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''Manifest'' ** Notes: After needling his cousin, Mariah Dillard, with the suggestion that she deliberately invited their uncle to sexually molest her as a child, she hits him with a wine bottle, pushes him out a window, and beats him to death with a microphone stand. * '''Why are you telling me all this?''' ''(Diamondback: "Because you're about to meet my mother, Damon. Tell her I love her.")'' ** Who: Damon Boone ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''Now You're Mine'' ** Notes: In response to Diamondback telling him his life story before being killed with a superpowered punch. * '''I'm my own man, Shades.''' ** Who: Zip ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''Soliloquy of Chaos'' * '''Something I've never seen before. Even you can't stop him.''' ** Who: Domingo Colon ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''Soliloquy of Chaos'' * '''Where are you, Misty?''' ** Who: Candace Miller ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''You Know My Steez'' ** Notes: Said while waiting for Misty Knight to arrive so she can disclose information about Mariah killing Cottonmouth. However, because Shades stole the phone Misty was using to communicate with Candace, he is able to track her down and kill her. * '''We've got you, Danny.''' ** Who: Heather Rand ** Source: ''[[Iron Fist (TV series)|Iron Fist]]'' &ndash; ''Snow Gives Way'' ** Note: Said before being sucked out of a damaged jet plane. * '''I love you, Danny.''' ** Who: Wendell Rand ** Source: ''[[Iron Fist (TV series)|Iron Fist]]'' &ndash; ''Snow Gives Way'' ** Note: Character's last spoken words before dying in a plane crash. * '''He punched through solid metal with his bare hands.''' ''(Madame Gao: "His hands? Are you sure it wasn't his fist?")'' '''I... I guess.''' ** Who: King ** Source: ''[[Iron Fist (TV series)|Iron Fist]]'' &ndash; ''Under Leaf Pluck Lotus'' ** Note: Regarding Danny escaping a Hand truck with one of their chemists in tow; Gao runs her staff through King's head and has him decapitated as punishment. * '''Anzhou...''' ** Who: Radovan Bernivig ** Source: ''[[Iron Fist (TV series)|Iron Fist]]'' &ndash; ''Felling Tree with Roots'' * '''It's just... it's just ice cream.''' ** Who: Kyle ** Source: ''[[Iron Fist (TV series)|Iron Fist]]'' &ndash; ''The Mistress of All Agonies'' ** Note: Attempting to reason with a crazed Harold Meachum over asking him for vanilla ice cream before Harold beats him to death. * '''I don't care.''' ** Who: Lawrence Wilkins ** Source: ''[[Iron Fist (TV series)|Iron Fist]]'' &ndash; ''Black Tiger Steals Heart'' * '''Finish me off. Come on, finish me off.''' ** Who: Harold Meachum ** Source: ''[[Iron Fist (TV series)|Iron Fist]]'' &ndash; ''Dragon Plays with Fire'' ** Note: Saying this before being killed by his own son while fighting against Danny. * '''You can't have this.''' ** Who: John Raymond ** Source: ''[[The Defenders (TV series)|The Defenders]]'' &ndash; ''Mean Right Hook'' ** Note: Saying these words before shooting himself before Elektra can kill him. * '''Let's not kid each other. This is personal for every one of us. But now I have the Iron Fist. The key to what the Hand seeks. The key to life, to our salvation. The war is over.''' ** Who: Sowande ** Source: ''[[The Defenders (TV series)|The Defenders]]'' &ndash; ''Take Shelter'' * '''You can't have him, girl.''' ** Who: Stick ** Source: ''[[The Defenders (TV series)|The Defenders]]'' &ndash; ''Ashes, Ashes'' ** Note: Stabbed and killed while trying to prevent Elektra from taking Danny Rand. * '''I'm so happy you're all on board with the plan. But let me remind you, I neutralized our enemies. I brought you the Iron Fist. I was able to keep the most important operation in our history running while you succumbed to chaos and conflict. I have proven myself to be the one, and only, true leader&ndash;''' ** Who: Alexandra Reid ** Source: ''[[The Defenders (TV series)|The Defenders]]'' &ndash; ''Ashes, Ashes'' ** Note: Betrayed and killed by Elektra while making a speech to the other Hand leaders. * '''Is this your family now, hmm? Well, let me remind you who you really are by taking that away!''' ** Who: Bakuto ** Source: ''[[The Defenders (TV series)|The Defenders]]'' &ndash; ''The Defenders'' ** Note: Addressing Colleen Wing before being beheaded by her. * '''Gao... what is happening?''' ** Who: Murakami ** Source: ''[[The Defenders (TV series)|The Defenders]]'' &ndash; ''The Defenders'' ** Note: Spoken in Japanese, before the Midland Circle building collapses on top of him. Fate left ambiguous. * '''The end.''' ** Who: Madame Gao ** Source: ''[[The Defenders (TV series)|The Defenders]]'' &ndash; ''The Defenders'' ** Note: Answering Murakami's question before the Midland Circle building collapses on top of them. Fate left ambiguous. * '''No. This is what living is like.''' ** Who: Elektra ** Source: ''[[The Defenders (TV series)|The Defenders]]'' &ndash; ''The Defenders'' ** Note: Said to Matt Murdock before the Midland Circle building collapses on top of them. Fate left ambiguous. * '''Look after her.''' ** Who: Nuke ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA Freak Accident'' ** Note: Asking Jessica to protect Trish before being killed by Alisa Jones. * '''You attacked me! You attacked me in my home! Self-defence!''' ** Who: Dale Holiday ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA Pork Chop'' ** Note: Trying to frame Jessica before she strikes him in the head, killing him instantly. * '''You're right. This is all I can create. This is useless.''' ''(Jessica: "Karl, don't.")'' '''Useless as the man who built it. This is where it ends. It has to be destroyed.''' ''(Jessica: "Stop it.")'' '''Tell your mother, I'm sorry.''' ''(Jessica: "No.")'' '''Run!''' ** Who: Karl Malus ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA Three Lives and Counting'' ** Note: Character, the founder of IGH, is overcome with remorse about what he has done. He tells Jessica to run before causing an explosion, destroying the building with him inside. * '''Take the shot.''' ** Who: Ruth Sunday ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA Pray for My Patsy'' * '''Maybe I don't have to be amazing. Maybe I just made you.''' ** Who: Alisa Jones ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA Playland.'' ** Note: Character is shot in the head by Trish Walker after saying this. * '''Sit your ass down. You on time out.''' ** Who: Cockroach ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''All Souled Out'' * '''You can't kill Luke Cage. Nobody can kill Luke Cage.''' ** Who: Piranha Jones ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''On and On'' ** Note: Last on-screen words before being decapitated by Bushmaster. * '''You don't have to do this. Darius, I can cut you both a deal. Your name is Hernan, right? He told me what you saw. Cottonmouth. You testify against Mariah, I'll make sure you get the same deal. Immunity, time served.''' ** Who: Tom Ridenhour ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''On and On'' ** Note: Character, a police chief, tries to cut a deal with Shades and Comanche, but Comanche shoots him dead. * '''I... I was gonna get us both out. Like he said.''' ''(Shades: "I didn't want out. It was gonna be different this time.")'' '''I know.''' ''(Shades: "You remember that time? Coney Island? When we stole them hot dogs.")'' '''Almost got away with it, too.''' ''(Shades: "Your mama beat your ass. Why didn't you tell her it was my idea?")'' '''You my nigga. Always.''' ''(Shades: "Always. Because I love you I was blinded by that shit. I didn't see the snitch in you. What the hell does that say about me?")'' ** Who: Comanche ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''On and On'' ** Note: Said after being shot by Shades to create a false narrative surrounding Ridenhour's death, clearing Shades of involvement. * '''Ms. Dillard, please.''' ''(Mariah: "The name is Stokes. Mariah Stokes.")'' '''No.''' ** Who: Stephanie Miller ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''The Main Ingredient'' * '''Me gonna haunt you 'til the end of your days! You can eat, but you won't taste! You can sleep, but you won't rest! Everything you love, you gon lose! You hear me?''' ''(Mariah lights Anansi on fire)'' '''You hear me? You hear me?''' ** Who: Anansi ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''The Main Ingredient'' ** Note: Said while being burned alive by Mariah. * '''Look, she's dangerous. Even if she doesn't mean to be.''' ** Who: Alex Wesley ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''They Reminisce Over You (T.R.O.Y.)'' * '''You can save me?''' ''(Luke Cage: "Nah, I've done all the saving I can do, but I will keep you company.")'' '''I can't... It burns...''' ''(Luke Cage: "Good.")'' '''We ain't done yet, Luke.''' ** Who: Black Mariah ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''They Reminisce Over You (T.R.O.Y.)'' ** Note: Her daughter used a slow-acting poison on her in an earlier scene. Later, she says these words to Luke Cage before succumbing to the poison. * '''Hancock... two... one... two...''' ''(Danny: "I... I can't understand.")'' '''Han...cock... two... one... two...''' ** Who: Hai-Qing Yang ** Source: ''[[Iron Fist (TV series)|Iron Fist]]'' &ndash; ''Target: Iron Fist'' ** Notes: Last words before dying of a stroke off-screen. * '''I've never been part of any Tigers or&ndash;''' ** Who: Henry Yip ** Source: ''[[Iron Fist (TV series)|Iron Fist]]'' &ndash; ''Citadel on the Edge of Vengeance'' * '''We're out. BB was right. This... this is some messed-up shit.''' ** Who: Ryhno ** Source: ''[[Iron Fist (TV series)|Iron Fist]]'' &ndash; ''Citadel on the Edge of Vengeance'' * '''I give you credit. Most people in your position, they'd be more the beg-for-your-life type.''' ** Who: Chen Wu ** Source: ''[[Iron Fist (TV series)|Iron Fist]]'' &ndash; ''War Without End'' * '''Now, I know Ryhno wasn't the sharpest dude, but he had our back when no one else did. And now he's dead. And for what? For what? Crank, man, whatever your Shifu says, this isn't our fight. We get out of this now, we still got choices. A future. We stay in. This neighborhood doesn't need martyrs, it needs leaders.''' ''(Crank: "When you're right, you're right. Chinatown does need leaders.")'' '''For real, bro.''' ** Who: BB ** Source: ''[[Iron Fist (TV series)|Iron Fist]]'' &ndash; ''War Without End'' ** Note: Trying to convince his friends to stop working with Davis when he is killed by one of them. * '''What the hell's going on?''' ** Who: Jasper Evans ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''The Devil You Know'' ** Note: Character had a key involvement in Wilson Fisk's crimes and was about to confess to the New York Bulletin. Fisk sent Dex to the Bulletin to kill him with a shot to the head before he could incriminate Fisk. * '''Hey, did the landlord let you in?''' ** Who: Julie Barnes ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''Upstairs/Downstairs'' ** Note: Character is killed by Fisk's goons in order to manipulate Dex. * '''Matthew... Matthew, please forgive us.''' ** Who: Paul Lantom ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''Karen'' ** Note: Sacrifices himself to save Karen's life. * '''I'm not going anywhere with you, Dex. Whatever you need to do, you do it here.''' ** Who: Ray Nadeem ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''One Last Shot'' ** Note: Shot by Dex after attempting to expose Fisk. * '''Kith... Laurent... I'm so... I'm so sorry...''' ** Who: Peter Lyonne ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA I Wish'' ** Note: Said while bleeding out after cutting himself to commit suicide. * '''I will start drawing up new costume ideas for you.''' ** Who: Dorothy Walker ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA Camera Friendly'' ** Notes: Last words before being murdered off-screen. * ''(Trish: "Those pictures. What did you need to see?")'' '''Her truth. And now I see yours, and so will Jessica.''' ** Who: Foolkiller ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA A Lotta Worms'' ** Note: Killed by Trish after taunting her to avenger Dorothy's murder. ==== ''The Punisher'' ==== * '''No, no, no, no. I told you. What are you gonna do?''' ''(Castle: "I'm gonna find a home for this.")'' '''No!''' ** Who: Lance ** Source: ''3 AM'' ** Note: Lance and their group of friends were attempting to drown someone in cement. Frank Castle intervened and killed them all; Lance survived long enough to beg Frank for his life, before Frank killed him with a sledgehammer. * '''We thought you were the one that sent him the tape. Now close your eyes, Frank. I'm gonna do you a favor. You're gonna see your family real soon.''' ''(Castle stares at him)'' '''No? Suit yourself.''' ** Who: Carson Wolf ** Source: ''Two Dead Men'' ** Note: Frank invades Wolf's home and the two fight. Wolf says this while he has Frank in a headlock, but Frank then breaks out and kills him. * '''Please. I'm not a terrorist. I have a family. I &ndash; I have a family.''' ** Who: Ahmad Zubair ** Source: ''Kandahar'' ** Note: Spoken in Pashto. Shot in the head by Frank on the orders of William Rawlins. * '''Just bury me. Promise me you'll bury me, okay?''' ** Who: Gunner Henderson ** Source: ''Gunner'' ** Note: Frank reunites with Gunner when FBI agents invade the latter's home. Gunner is shot before dying offscreen. * '''Get the hell out of my house.''' ** Who: O'Connor ** Source: ''The Judas Goat'' ** Note: Killed by Lewis Wilson after he realised O'Connor had been lying about his army service to manipulate shellshocked veterans. * '''Look, there's no need. I'm leaving anyway. Tomorrow, I'll be gone.''' ** Who: Morty Bennett ** Source: ''Crosshairs'' * '''Move an inch, asshole, and I will gladly shoot you in the goddamn face.''' ** Who: Sam Stein ** Source: ''Cold Steel'' ** Note: Killed by Billy Russo in a standoff after a Homeland Security raid. * '''Who is it?''' ''(Lewis: "New York Bulletin.")'' '''I don't need a subscription.''' ** Who: Isaac Lange ** Source: ''Virtue of the Vicious'' ** Note: Shot in the head by Lewis through the peephole of his door. * '''"Like a soldier. Go, go, go like a soldier."''' ** Who: Lewis Wilson ** Source: ''Virtue of the Vicious'' ** Note: Recalls his mantra from when he was in the army while setting up a bomb vest out of remorse for the failure of his terrorism plan. Killed when he detonates the bomb, encouraged by Frank. * '''You're a dead man, your heart just doesn't know it yet.''' ** Who: Agent Orange ** Source: ''Home'' ** Note: Torturing Frank Castle before Frank, assisted by Billy Russo, breaks free and kills him in a long fight. * '''I... I don't even know what that mean&ndash;''' ** Who: Sergei Konchevsky ** Source: ''Roadhouse Blues'' ** Note: Shot by John Pilgrim during torture after Pilgrim successfully finds the location of photographs that Konchevsky ordered. * '''Back door, this corridor leads to the bull&ndash;''' ** Who: Marlena Olin ** Source: ''Trouble the Water'' * '''You ready?''' ** Who: The Russian ** Source: ''One-Eyed Jacks'' * '''Wait. Why are you asking him? This jigsaw-faced bastard almost got us busted. This whole thing went sideways 'cause you lost your shit.''' ** Who: Bobby ** Source: ''My Brother's Keeper'' ** Note: Stands up to Billy Russo after a plan to make money went south due to Russo hesitating when he recognised Frank at the scene. Shot by Russo immediately after. * '''Of course it's you. I should have known. If I'm gonna be with somebody, I'm... I'm happy that it's you. Frank, whatever I've done, I'm s&ndash;''' ** Who: Jigsaw ** Source: ''The Whirlwind'' ** Note: Shot three times by Dinah Madani. After having his money stolen and unable to find medical help, he calls Curtis Hoyle to be with him so he won't die alone. Curtis instead sends Frank, who promptly kills Russo. * '''What do you want? Money? We can do that.''' ** Who: Eliza Schultz ** Source: ''The Whirlwind'' ** Note: Attempts to bribe Amy while being held at gunpoint by her. When she makes a move to attack Amy, she is shot in the back of the head by Frank. * '''John said you were dead.''' ** Who: Anderson Schultz ** Source: ''The Whirlwind'' ** Note: In disbelief over seeing Frank and Amy alive. Later kills himself over seeing his wife die and the guilt of all the others he has killed. === Hulu === ==== ''Runaways'' ==== * '''Help me.''' ** Who: Destiny Gonzalez ** Source: ''Rewind'' * '''Is it... medicine?''' ** Who: Andre Compton ** Source: ''Kingdom'' * '''Come on, faster!''' ** Who: Amy Minoru ** Source: ''Tsunami'' * '''Alice?''' ** Who: Gene Hernandez ** Source: ''Doomsday'' * '''Molly!''' ** Who: Alice Hernandez ** Source: ''Doomsday'' * '''You want me to shoot you, too?''' ** Who: Graciela Aguirre ** Source: ''Gimmie Shelter'' * '''I only gave up Alex because I thought he'd be better with his family.''' ''(Catherine: "You're gonna do one more thing for him.")'' '''Yeah, what's that?''' ''(Catherine: "Same as you did for his father. Take the rap for his murder charge.")'' ** Who: Darius Davis ** Source: ''Double Zeros'' * '''Where am I? Why are you crying?''' ''(Karolina : "Dad. Dad, it's me. It's your daughter Karolina.")'' '''Who are you?''' ** Who: Jonah ** Source: ''Last Rites'' * '''You think this is the answer?''' ** Who: Detective Flores ** Source: ''Big Shot'' * '''Yes, I am a lawyer, and I do have power. Connections. Money. Whatever it is you need, I can get. So, trust me, you do not want to do this.''' ** Who: Catherine Wilder ** Source: ''Lord of Lies'' * '''I'll tell you what. I'll let you win. But you've gotta look right at me, so you can see the light go out in dear old dad's eyes.''' ** Who: The Magistrate ** Source: ''Rite of Thunder'' ** Note: Fate left ambiguous. * '''Those are cute little knives, but you don't stand a chance fighting me alone.''' ** Who: The Magistrate's Wife ** Source: ''Rite of Thunder'' ** Note: Fate left ambiguous. * '''I said I'd play. Didn't say fair.''' ** Who: The Magistrate's Daughter ** Source: ''Rite of Thunder'' ** Note: Fate left ambiguous. * '''Father, what's happened?''' ** Who: The Magistrate's Son ** Source: ''Rite of Thunder'' ** Note: Fate left ambiguous. * '''She is... the brightest star in the universe. Guard her with your life.''' ** Who: Robert Minoru ** Source: ''Left-Hand Path'' ** Note: Spoken in Japanese. * '''Well, look what we have here. So many loved ones all in one place. Thank you for making it easy. I promise, this will be painful.''' ''(Alex stabs her)'' '''No.''' ** Who: Bronwyn ** Source: ''The Broken Circle'' * '''Chase... you're... always so...''' ** Who: Gert Yorkes ** Source: ''The Broken Circle'' ** Notes: Character dies a timeline that is averted during ''Cheat The Gallows'' * ''(Morgan le Fey: "What's happened? A shielding spell?")'' '''It's Nico! From up here.''' ** Who: "Evil Alex" ** Source: ''Cheat The Gallows'' ** Note: As a result of averting Gert's death, the Alex Wilder of 2028 is erased from history as the timelines change. * '''We did it.''' ** Who: "Future Chase" ** Source: ''Cheat The Gallows'' * '''He saved her. I got my sister back. It's like the best feeling ever.''' ** Who: Molly Hernandez ** Source: ''Cheat The Gallows'' ** Note: As a result of averting Gert's death, the Molly Hernandez of 2021 is erased from history as the timelines change. * ''(Nico: "Before we go, Karolina, I have to say it.")'' '''Don't. Just... promise me you'll find me. Wherever we are.''' ** Who: Karolina Dean ** Source: ''Cheat The Gallows'' ** Note: As a result of averting Gert's death, the Karolina Dean of 2021 is erased from history as the timelines change. * '''I will.''' ** Who: Nico Minoru ** Source: ''Cheat The Gallows'' ** Note: As a result of averting Gert's death, the Nico Minoru of 2021 is erased from history as the timelines change. ==== ''Helstrom'' ==== * '''What are you?''' ** Who: Aubree Richards ** Source: ''The One Who Got Away'' * '''Spivey!''' ** Who: Ellis ** Source: ''Leviathan'' * '''Keeper!''' ** Who: Basar ** Source: ''Hell Storm'' * '''Born in blood?''' ** Who: Raum ** Source: ''Hell Storm'' * '''We already won.''' ** Who: Magoth ** Source: ''Hell Storm'' === Freeform === ==== ''Cloak & Dagger'' ==== * '''With all due respect, sir, I think it's time that we call in the government.''' ''(pause)'' '''Are&ndash;''' ** Who: Nathan Bowen ** Source: ''First Light'' ** Note: Killed in a car crash after the Roxxon rig explosion. * ''(Connors: "Freeze! Where's the other one?")'' '''He didn't do nothing! We were just taking this back. I swear!''' ** Who: Billy Johnson ** Source: ''First Light'' ** Note: Shot by Connors when he mistakes the Roxxon rig explosion for Billy attacking. * '''You want leftovers?''' ''(Tandy: "No, why don't we take 'em to the office? We'll be hungry tomorrow.")'' '''Yeah.''' ** Who: Greg Pressfield ** Source: ''Call/Response'' ** Notes: Last words on screen before being assassinated by the Roxxon Corporation, with his assassination being witnessed by Tandy from a distress, and his real last words being unheard. * '''Use what you got, right?''' ** Who: Duane Porter ** Source: ''Funhouse Mirrors'' ** Note: Fatally shot. * '''Pancakes tomorrow?''' ''(O'Reilly: "And what about the day after?")'' '''I can do that too.''' ** Who: Kenneth Fuchs ** Source: ''Ghost Stories'' ** Note: Last words before being murdered by Connors off-screen. * '''It's in our annex building 616, by the waterfront.''' * '''I want to be God.''' ** Who: Peter Scarborough ** Source: ''Colony Collapse'' ** Note: First line said in the real world. Second line said in fantasy. Fate left ambiguous. * '''This is just another step in my journey.''' ** Who: Chantelle Fusilier ** Source: ''Vikingtown Sound'' ** Note: Is seemingly killed by Andre before visiting her daughter, Evita, as a ghost. * '''I'm saying you get to drive.''' ** Who: Brigid O'Reilly ** Source: ''Two Player'' ** Notes: Last words before fusing with Mayhem, who becomes the dormant personality. * '''Thank you.''' ** Who: James Connors ** Source: ''Two Player'' ** Note: Shot by Adina Johnson as revenge for Billy's murder. * '''What are you looking for?''' ** Who: D'Spayre ** Source: ''Level Up'' ** Note: Fate left ambiguous. === Disney+ === ==== ''[[WandaVision]]'' ==== * '''But a silly mischief that always becomes fine.''' * '''Okay, Papa, start it for us.''' ** Who: Oleg and Iryna Maximoff ** Episode: ''Previously On'' ** Note: Saying this while watching one of the sitcoms on tape played by Wanda before a missile explodes their home, killing the couple. * '''So long, darling.''' ** Who: "Westview Vision" ** Episode: ''The Series Finale'' ** Note: Wanda's constructed Vision in the Hex says this before he fades from existence. ==== ''[[The Falcon and the Winter Soldier]]'' ==== * ''(Sam: "Where's Karli now?")'' '''I don't know where she is. But a couple of days ago, she called and asked if I could help someone named Donya Madani. Poor woman has tuberculosis. Typical of overpopulation in displacement camps like that.''' ''(Sam: "Well, what happened to her?")'' '''Not my pig. Not my farm.''' ''(Bucky: "Is there any serum in this lab?")'' '''No.''' ** Who: Wilfred Nagel **Episode: ''Power Broker'' ** Note: While being interrogated by Sam and Bucky, Nagel is shot by Zemo and killed instantly. * '''But, God, imagine how many lives we could have saved that day if we had that serum.''' ** Who: Battlestar **Episode: ''The Whole World Is Watching'' ** Note: His last words on-screen, said in a conversation with John Walker, the new Captain America, which leads Walker to take the super-soldier serum. Battlestar is subsequently killed after tackling Karli Morgenthau, who punches Battlestar with enough force to cave his ribcage in, and send him flying into a concrete pillar. * '''It wasn't me! It wasn't me!''' ** Who: Nico **Episode: ''The Whole World Is Watching'' ** Note: A member of the Flag-Smashers, Nico is pinned down by John Walker, who, enraged by Battlestar's death at Karli Morgenthau's hand, mercilessly kills Nico with his shield in front of horrified witnesses. * '''Let's go, get moving.''' ** Who: Dovich **Episode: ''One World, One People'' ** Note: His last words on-screen, before he is killed in a car explosion orchestrated by Baron Zemo and his butler. * '''Maintenant, Power Broker... vous me paierez quatre fois ce que vous aviez dit que vous le feriez. Four times, or je vais dire au monde entier qui tu es. Okay?''' **Translation: '''Now, Power Broker... you will pay me four times what you said you would. Four times, or I'll tell the whole world who you are. Okay?''' ** Who: Batroc the Leaper **Episode: ''One World, One People'' ** Note: His last words while threatening the Power Broker, Sharon Carter, before she kills him to keep her identity a secret. * '''I'm sorry.''' ** Who: Flag-Smasher **Episode: ''One World, One People'' ** Note: Her last words to the new Captain America, Sam Wilson, after being shot by Sharon Carter. ==== ''[[Loki (TV series)|Loki]]'' ==== * '''Glorious purpose!''' ** Who: "Classic Loki" ** Episode: ''Journey Into Mystery'' ** Note: Sacrificed himself distracting Alioth to help Loki Variant L1130 and Sylvie enchant it. * '''See you soon.''' ** Who: He Who Remains ** Episode: ''For All Time. Always'' ** Note: Said after getting stabbed by Sylvie. * '''How does it feel knowing that all of us here would rather die than follow you out that door? Hmm?''' ** Who: General Dox ** Episode: ''Heart of the TVA'' ** Note: Crushed to death alongside the rest of her loyalists by Miss Minutes after refusing to join Ravonna Renslayer. * '''You'll never be him.''' ** Who: Miss Minutes ** Episode: ''Heart of the TVA'' ** Note: Rebooted when O.B. reboots the TVA's defence system, effectively killing the original Miss Minutes. * '''What is going on?''' ** Who: Ravonna Renslayer ** Episode: ''Heart of the TVA'' ** Note: Pruned into the Void by Sylvie, where she is later attacked by Alioth and presumably eaten. * '''Here we go.''' ** Who: Victor Timely ** Episode: ''Heart of the TVA'' ** Note: Spaghettified by the Time Loom's excess radiation, though his death is eventually undone when Loki masters his time-slipping to perfect the repairing of the Time Loom. * '''Great. But I still didn't take it.''' ** Who: [[w:June 1962 Alcatraz escape attempt#Frank Morris|Frank Lee Morris]] ** Episode: ''Science/Fiction'' ** Note: Erased as a result of the timelines breaking down, though Loki is able to undo his spaghettification by mastering his time-slipping. * '''It was a fiction problem.''' ** Who: A.D. Doug ** Episode: ''Science/Fiction'' ** Note: Erased as a result of the timelines breaking down, though Loki is able to undo his spaghettification by mastering his time-slipping. * '''No, no. I have to go back to see my boys. I...''' ** Who: Don ** Episode: ''Science/Fiction'' ** Note: Erased as a result of the timelines breaking down, though Loki is able to undo his spaghettification by mastering his time-slipping. * '''Is this it? We...''' ** Who: Verity Willis ** Episode: ''Science/Fiction'' ** Note: Erased as a result of the timelines breaking down, though Loki is able to undo her spaghettification by mastering his time-slipping. * '''There's nowhere left to go.''' ** Who: Sylvie ** Episode: ''Science/Fiction'' ** Note: Erased as a result of the timelines breaking down, though Loki is able to undo her spaghettification by mastering his time-slipping. ==== ''[[Hawkeye (2021 TV series)|Hawkeye]]'' ==== * '''I'll be downstairs in my office.''' ** Who: Derek Bishop ** Source: ''Never Meet Your Heroes'' ** Note: Last words before being killed in the Battle of New York. * '''Do you know who I am?''' ** Who: Armand Duquesne III ** Source: ''Never Meet Your Heroes'' ** Note: His last onscreen words before he is murdered in his home by Eleanor Bishop. * '''I'm already gone. Fly away from here... Little Dragon.''' ** Who: William Lopez ** Source: ''Echoes'' ** Note: Killed by Clint Barton as Ronin. Said in American Sign Language. * '''Excuse me.''' ** Who: Yelena Belova ** Source: ''Ronin'' ** Note: In 2018, after excusing herself to go to the bathroom in Ana's house, Yelena is killed by Thanos' snap. She is revived in 2023 by Professor Hulk with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Leave, Maya. He's coming for you.''' ** Who: Kazi the Clown ** Source: ''So This Is Christmas?'' ** Note: Killed by Maya Lopez. ==== ''[[Moon Knight (TV series)|Moon Knight]]'' ==== * '''You all right, love?''' ''(Layla: "Can he hear me?")'' '''Alexander? I don't think so. God, I hope not.''' ''(Layla: "What happened to my father? I'm talking to you.")'' '''What?''' ''(Layla: "I'm talking to you, Marc!")'' ** Who: Steven Grant ** Source: ''The Tomb'' ** Note: Steven says these words before Marc takes control of the body. After this, Marc is shot by Harrow, killing both him and Steven. He is later revived when he and Marc escape the Duat through the Gates of Osiris after Khonshu is freed. * ''(Harrow: "Right now, you have a very important decision to make.")'' '''Okay.''' ** Who: Marc Spector ** Source: ''The Tomb'' ** Note: Marc says these words before attacking Harrow's men, causing Harrow to shoot Marc twice, killing him. He is later revived when he and Steven escape the Duat through the Gates of Osiris after Khonshu is freed. * '''Help! Mommy!''' ** Who: Randall Spector ** Source: ''Asylum'' ** Note: Says these words before drowning offscreen. * '''You can never contain me. I'll never stop.''' ** Who: Ammit ** Source: ''Gods and Monsters'' ** Note: Said by Ammit from within Arthur Harrow after being trapped in him. She is killed alongside Harrow after getting shot multiple times by Jake Lockley. * '''Wait.''' ** Who: Arthur Harrow ** Source: ''Gods and Monsters'' ** Note: Arthur says this to Jake Lockley, who shoots him dead with a silenced pistol. ==== ''[[Ms. Marvel (TV series)|Ms. Marvel]]'' ==== * '''Get yourself to safety. I'll lead them off.''' ** Who: Waleed ** Source: ''Seeing Red'' ** Note: Last words before being killed by Clandestines. * '''It's okay... she's okay... 'cause you're here...''' ** Who: Aisha ** Source: ''Time and Again'' ** Note: Said to Kamala Khan after she travelled back in time and saved Aisha's daughter. Bleeds out shortly afterward. * '''Kamran...''' ** Who: Najma ** Source: ''Time and Again'' ** Note: Said while sacrificing herself to close the Veil, saving the world. ==== ''[[Secret Invasion (miniseries)|Secret Invasion]]'' ==== * ''(Talos: "Her last words? '''Find Gi'ah.'''")'' ** Who: Soren ** Source: ''Resurrection'' ** Note: Killed by Gravik off-screen. Talos confirms her last words to her daughter in an attempt to persuade her into abandoning Gravik's extremist Skrull sect. * '''It... was... you...''' ** Who: Maria Hill ** Source: ''Resurrection'' ** Note: Shot in the stomach by Gravik with a pistol, under the guise of Nick Fury. * '''I've got this. Stand back, man.''' ** Who: Talos ** Source: ''Beloved'' * '''Explain it to us! You told me Fury hid the Avengers' DNA, but it wasn't in ''any'' of the locations you provided. No, Fury never trusted you, and it makes me start to wonder why should we&ndash;''' ** Who: Pagon ** Source: ''Harvest'' * '''You're nothing but a monster.''' ** Who: Beto ** Source: ''Harvest'' * '''Mr. President, listen to me&ndash;''' ** Who: Raava ** Source: ''Home'' * '''You're just like your father. Just like them.''' ** Who: Gravik ** Source: ''Home'' ==== ''[[Echo (miniseries)|Echo]]'' ==== * '''Sorry, lovebug, we're out. But I'll go to the store. Come with me and help me choose.''' ** Who: Taloa Lopez ** Source: ''Chafa'' ** Note: Said to her daughter, Maya, in American Sign Language. Dies in a car crash when one of William's enemies cuts her car's brakes. * '''No. Oh, no, no, no. No.''' ** Who: Vickie ** Source: ''Tuklo'' ** Note: Shot by Zane. * '''Wait, what?''' ** Who: Zane ** Source: ''Maya'' ** Note: Shot by Henry. ==== ''[[Agatha All Along]]'' ==== * '''Wanda, I'm begging you. Let him breathe... Please...''' ** Who: Sharon Davis ** Source: ''Through Many Miles / Of Tricks and Trials'' ** Note: Hallucinates a flashback to the events of ''WandaVision'' just before succumbing to a deadly poison. * '''Leave her alone!''' ** Who: Alice Wu-Gulliver ** Source: ''Darkest Hour / Wake Thy Power'' ** Note: Killed by Agatha. * '''Mom, look out!''' ** Who: William Kaplan ** Source: ''Familiar by Thy Side'' ** Note: Dies in a car crash. The spirit of Billy Maximoff then takes over his body. * '''You may not know this about the Road, but when you successfully complete a trial - as I just did - it's not a good idea to overstay your welcome. Usually, something terrible happens. Disaster, destruction, sudden upheaval. Like the Tower, upright.''' ** Who: Lilia Calderu ** Source: ''Death's Hand in Mine'' ** Note: Sacrifices herself to kill the Salem Seven by flipping the Tower tarot card, which actually flips the tower they are in and impales them all on the swords in the ceiling. * '''What can I say? I'm a covenless witch.''' ** Who: Agatha Harkness ** Source: ''Follow Me My Friend / To Glory at the End'' ** Note: Gives herself up to Death to protect Billy Maximoff. Later comes back as a ghost. ====''[[Daredevil: Born Again]]''==== * '''I don't know what he's talking about. He said someone's looking for&ndash;''' ** Who: Foggy Nelson ** Source: ''Heaven's Half Hour'' ** Note: Shot through the chest by Bullseye, and dies on the ground from blood loss before paramedics can arrive. * '''Thanks.''' ** Who: White Tiger ** Source: ''The Hollow of His Hand'' ** Note: Last words on-screen before being assassinated by Cole North. * '''No. No, not yet.''' ** Who: Muse ** Source: ''Art for Art's Sake'' ** Note: Shot by Heather. * '''That's up to you.''' ** Who: Luca ** Source: ''Art for Art's Sake'' ** Note: Last words on-screen, spoken to Vanessa. Later assassinated by Buck Cashman. * '''Please, Vaness&ndash;''' ** Who: Adam ** Source: ''Isle of Joy'' ** Note: Shot by Vanessa Fisk. * '''Yeah, I was right. You... never stopped being Kingpin. You can't.''' ** Who: Phil Gallo ** Source: ''Straight to Hell'' ** Note: Head crushed by Wilson Fisk * '''Can you tell me the story... can you tell me the story of how... we...''' ** Who: Vanessa Fisk ** Source: ''The Grand Design'' * '''What is following his orders gonna do for you? How long 'til you're on the floor... with a gun pointed at your head?''' ** Who: Daniel Blake ** Source: ''The Hateful Darkness'' ** Note: Shot by Buck Cashman after refusing to hand over BB Urich. ====''[[Ironheart (miniseries)|Ironheart]]''==== * '''Okay.''' ** Who: John King ** Source: ''We in Danger, Girl'' * '''I love you, Ri.''' ** Who: N.A.T.A.L.I.E. ** Source: ''Karma's a Glitch'' == Animated television == ==== ''[[What If...?]]'' ==== * '''You are too late, Captain Carter. I have summoned the champion of H&ndash;''' ** Who: Red Skull ** Episode: ''What If... Captain Carter Were The First Avenger?'' ** Note: Saying these words to Peggy Carter after using the Tesseract to summon an octopus-like interdimensional monster to be the "champion of Hydra", only for the creature to crush Skull with its tentacles, killing him. * '''Fury, it's Hope! It's all about Hope!''' ** Who: Black Widow ** Episode: ''What If... The World Lost Its Mightiest Heroes?'' ** Note: Saying these words before she is murdered by Yellowjacket, but not before she contacts Fury and gives him the clue for the issuing murders of the candidates of the Avengers Initiative. * '''Stephen, what did you do?''' ** Who: Christine Palmer ** Episode: ''What If... Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?'' ** Note: After Strange Supreme revives Christine, the universe collapses, and Christine disappears. * '''Peter! Smile. Smile for me, okay?''' ** Who: Wasp ** Episode: ''What If... Zombies!?'' ** Note: After getting infected by a zombified Sharon Carter, Wasp sacrifices herself to get the remaining survivors to Camp Lehigh. She says these words before she succumbs to the infection. * '''Baba Yaga!''' ** Who: Kurt ** Episode: ''What If... Zombies!?'' ** Note: He says these words before he is pulled in and killed by a zombified Scarlet Witch. * '''My king. Wakanda forever.''' ** Who: Okoye ** Episode: ''What If... Zombies!?'' ** Note: After getting caught by zombie Scarlet Witch's chaos magic, Okoye says these words before she is zombified. * '''I must atone for what I have done. But I cannot bring myself to leave her.''' ** Who: Vision ** Episode: ''What If... Zombies!?'' ** Note: Helping the survivors escape zombie Scarlet Witch, Vision says these words before pulling the Mind Stone out of his head, killing himself. * '''Kid, you've gotta be part... of the system... to change... the system.''' ** Who: Rhodey ** Episode: ''What If... Killmonger Rescued Tony Stark?'' ** Note: Saying these words before being killed by Killmonger to orchestrate a war between America and Wakanda. * '''Two gear-head orphans... trying to do right by our fathers? We sound the same to me.''' ** Who: Tony Stark ** Episode: ''What If... Killmonger Rescued Tony Stark?'' ** Note: After Killmonger wounds him with a Wakandan spear and claims they are not fighting the same battles, Stark says these words before Killmonger finishes him off. * '''I told you, I don't wanna fight anymore.''' ** Who: Hawkeye ** Episode: ''What If... Ultron Won?'' ** Note: Sacrificing himself to help Black Widow escape from Ultron's drones. * ''(Arnim Zola: "This is far nicer than my human body ever was.")'' '''Who's there? Who said that?''' ''(Arnim Zola: "This is a fascinating change of pace, yeah? It has been a long time since I have had legs. I'd like to make this a permanent condition.)'' '''This body is occupied.''' ''(Arnim Zola: "For now, but not for long.")'' '''What?! Who are you? What is your objective?''' ''(Arnim Zola: "Once upon a time, it was to bring forth HYDRA's domination, but you ended that. So now, I suppose my objective is to end you.")'' '''What is... this?!''' ** Who: Infinity Ultron ** Episode: ''What If... The Watcher Broke His Oath?'' ** Note: Black Widow got Captain Carter to expose Ultron's eye, allowing her to pierce it with the arrow containing Zola's consciousness and have the HYDRA algorithm destroy Ultron's hive mind, killing him. * '''You ruined everything!''' ** Who: Nova Prime Irani Rael ** Episode: ''What If... Nebula Joined the Nova Corps?'' ** Note: Said to Nebula before attempting to shoot her, only to fall off the building to her death. * '''Deep down, I guess I've always known you'd turn out to be a disappointment. You are human after all.''' ** Who: Ego the Living Planet ** Episode: ''What If... Peter Quill Attacked Earth's Mightiest Heroes?'' ** Note: Said to Peter Quill before Quill destroys Ego's corporeal form, though Thor notes that Ego's planetary form is still out there. * '''You're the one they call Iron Man? I expected more.''' ** Who: Thanos ** Episode: ''What If... Iron Man Crashed into the Grandmaster?'' ** Note: Said to Tony Stark before Gamora kills him with Topaz's melting rod. * '''Mission accomplished, ma'am.''' ** Who: HYDRA Stomper ** Episode: ''What If... Captain Carter Fought the HYDRA Stomper?'' ** Note: Last words before making a kamikaze attack on the Red Room base, though Peggy still believes he could have survived. * '''Stop! Stop! Stop!''' ** Who: Melina Vostikoff ** Episode: ''What If... Captain Carter Fought the HYDRA Stomper?'' ** Note: Said after Natasha Romanoff fires her grappling hook to latch onto Steve Rogers's HYDRA Stomper armor and ties it to Vostokoff, who dies in the explosion of the Red Room. * '''Cannons! To the cannons!''' ** Who: Rodrigo Gonzolo ** Episode: ''What If... Kahhori Reshaped the World?'' ** Note: Spoken in spanish. Said during his armies' attempts to fend off a Space Stone-powered Kahhori before the Sky World tribesmen arrive to repel them, and Gonzolo himself is killed by Kahhori. * '''No, I can't. My grief... is too strong. It's grown... beyond my control.''' ''(Captain Carter: "Christine wouldn't want this!")'' '''No...''' ''(Demon: "But we do!")'' ** Who: Doctor Strange Supreme ** Episode: ''What If... Strange Supreme Intervened?'' ** Note: Overwhelmed by the demonic entities living within him, Strange Supreme says these words before sacrificing himself to the Forge, restoring his destroyed universe, but at the cost of his own existence. The final episode, however, suggests he is still alive, and had become a sentient universe. * '''It's okay, Sam. For the first time in a long time, I'm not afraid.''' ** Who: Bruce Banner ** Episode: ''What If... The Hulk Fought the Mech Avengers?'' ** Note: Last words before permanently transforming into Mega-Hulk. * '''What? How did you?''' ** Who: Arishem ** Episode: ''What If... Agatha Went to Hollywood?'' ** Note: Absorbed by Agatha Harkness in her Celestial form. * '''It's, uh, just you two, right? Only you know about this mission failure?''' ** Who: Obadiah Stane ** Episode: ''What If... The Red Guardian Stopped The Winter Soldier?'' ** Note: Pulled off his penthouse by Winter Soldier to his death. * '''Listen, man, word on the street here is that this egg is a pretty hot damn commodity. I got offers comin' in from Dark Elves and an Olympic God. You get what I'm sayin'? So, our price just went up.''' ** Who: Yondu Udonta ** Episode: ''What If... Howard the Duck Got Hitched?'' ** Note: Killed by Kaecilius and the Zealots after they betray their part of the deal after stealing the Ducks' Egg for them. * '''No. No. No.''' ** Who: Mysterio ** Episode: ''What If... The Emergence Destroyed the Earth?'' ** Note: Succumbs to his illness after Riri Williams syphons off his nanites. * '''Brother...''' ** Who: Xu Xialing ** Episode: ''What If... 1872?'' ** Note: Said to Shang-Chi after being shot by Kate Bishop, freeing her from the Hood's influence. * '''This is what I was programmed for! Go! Go, I'll cover you!''' ** Who: Ultron ** Episode: ''What If... What If?'' *** Note: Sacrificing himself to hold off the Eminence, the Incarnate and the Executioner so Uatu and Captain Carter can escape with Carter's team. *'''I am not losing any friends today!''' ** Who: Captain Carter ** Episode: ''What If... What If?'' ** Note: Said before using her Watcher powers to send her team, Uatu and the opposing Watchers to Strange Supreme's universe, sacrificing herself in the process. ==== ''I Am Groot'' ==== * '''And now, I have a few points of criticism that I think could improve your dancing.''' ** Who: Iwua ** Source: ''Groot's Pursuit'' ** Note: Tricked by Groot into walking into the ship's airlock. Groot then ejects him into space. ==== ''[[Eyes of Wakanda]]'' ==== *'''If you kneel now, he may still allow you to serve.''' **Who: The Shieldmaiden **Source: ''Into the Lion's Den'' *'''We'll both be forgotten, but at least I... will have lived... free...''' **Who: Lion **Source: ''Into the Lion's Den'' *'''Was everything a lie, Memnon?''' **Who: Achilles **Source: ''Legends and Lies'' *'''Wakanda forever!''' **Who: The Future Black Panther **Source: ''The Last Panther'' ==== ''[[Marvel Zombies (miniseries)|Marvel Zombies]]'' ==== *'''Shit.''' **Who: Kate Bishop **Source: ''Episode 1'' **Note: Said after the trick arrow she got from a Zombie Hawkeye was just a non-lethal confetti arrow, before she is vaporized by a Zombie Captain Marvel. *'''No, they follow science.''' **Who: Melina Vostokoff **Source: ''Episode 1'' **Note: Said to Zombie Okoye after using her tech to control the zombies, although it does not last long until the zombies regain control, and infect Melina after Okoye impales her with her spear. *'''Remember what your mother taught you.''' **Who: Mandarin **Source: ''Episode 2'' **Note: After his son Shang-Chi is bitten in his arm by a zombie, the Mandarin says this after bestowing him the Ten Rings to contain the infection and letting himself get mauled by the zombies. *'''Back off, motherf—''' **Who: John Walker **Source: ''Episode 2'' **Note: Killed by Zombie Namor. *'''More for me.''' **Who: Yelena Belova **Source: ''Episode 2'' **Note: After helping her survivor group escape the sinking Raft, she says this, pouring herself one last drink before being infected by the horde. * ''(Spider-Man: "I heard T'Challa say, "'''Wakanda forever'''", quietly, like... like he knew that it was the last time.")'' **Who: Black Panther **Source: ''Episode 3'' **Note: Recounted to the audience by Peter Parker; mentioned to have said it quietly before sacrificing himself to defeat Zombie Thanos. *'''I deeply regret meeting all of you.''' **Who: Baron Zemo **Source: ''Episode 3'' **Note: Killed by a zombie Asgardian who punches his heart out. *'''No!''' **Who: Jimmy Woo **Source: ''Episode 3'' **Note: Said after Death-Dealer is killed in the fight, before he himself is mutilated. *'''Leave... me...''' **Note: Red Guardian **Source: ''Episode 3'' **Note: After being tricked by the Red Queen into ingesting zombie remains, he says this to Kamala Khan before succumbing to the infection. *'''Now, go!''' **Who: Thor **Source: ''Episode 3'' **Note: Said to Kamala before sacrificing himself to give her and her survivor group time to escape. He returns as a zombie in the next episode, where he is crushed by Infinity Hulk. *'''And what does dear Khonshu have to say?''' **Who: Valkyrie **Source: ''Episode 4'' *'''That this is a fight worth fighting.''' **Who: Blade Knight **Source: ''Episode 4'' *'''See you on the other side.''' **Who: Shang-Chi **Source: ''Episode 4'' == Television specials == * '''You will now die, as you lived, a disgrace to your father's memory, and the hallowed Bloodstone name!''' ** Who: Lady Verussa Bloodstone ** Source: ''[[Werewolf by Night]]'' == Web series == * '''Do it.''' ** Who: Victor Ramon ** Source: ''Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Slingshot'': ''Justicia'' == Comics == * '''Noooooo&ndash;''' ** Who: Ernst Kaufmann ** Source: ''Captain America: First Vengeance'' * '''Wh&ndash;aaaaoooooooo!!!''' ** Who: Lohmer ** Source: ''Captain America: First Vengeance'' * ''''Tis nothing shameful about surrendering to a nakedly superior foe, boy! The dwarfs forge has given me the edge against any opponent!''' ** Who: Imir ** Source: ''The Avengers: The Avengers Initiative'' * '''Don't&ndash;Don't give in, Natasha&ndash;''' ** Who: Gennady Markov ** Source: ''The Avengers: Black Widow Strikes'' * '''She's retargeted the bloody missiles from the ground. Point them back correctly! Quickly, now!''' ** Who: Richard Frampton ** Source: ''The Avengers: Black Widow Strikes'' * '''I know I'm not you. I'm better. I win.''' ** Who: Sofia ** Source: ''The Avengers: Black Widow Strikes'' * '''Happy to hear you made it out of D.C., Rumlow. Don't know what you're planning to do with all this stuff, but Hail&ndash;''' ** Who: Jack Rollins ** Source: ''Captain America: Civil War Prelude Infinite Comic'' * '''Kaecilius&ndash;nnnnnnn...''' ** Who: Adria ** Source: ''Doctor Strange Prelude &ndash; The Zealot'' * '''Pity. I usually like to look into the eyes of my prey before I kill them.''' ''(Black Panther: "This will have to do.")'' '''No...!!!''' ** Who: Zanda ** Source: ''Black Panther Prelude'' === Adaptations === * '''How ironic, Tony! In trying to rid the world of weapons, you gave it its best one ever! And I'm gonna kill you with it!''' ** Who: Iron Monger ** Source: ''Iron Man: I am Iron Man!'' * '''He's going for the serum! Stop&ndash;''' ** Who: Abraham Erskine ** Source: ''Captain America: The First Avenger Adaptation'' * '''If I die, Killian, what happens to your product? Your soldiers? What happens if you get too hot?''' ** Who: Maya Hansen ** Source: ''Captain America: Civil War Prelude &ndash; Iron Man 3 Adaptation'' * '''He's not here, Stark. Go fish.''' ** Who: Eric Savin ** Source: ''Captain America: Civil War Prelude &ndash; Iron Man 3 Adaptation'' * '''No more false faces. You said you wanted the Mandarin... ''I am the Mandarin!''''' ** Who: Aldrich Killian ** Source: ''Captain America: Civil War Prelude &ndash; Iron Man 3 Adaptation'' * '''Admit it. It's better this way, Captain. We are, both of us... out of time.''' ** Who: Arnim Zola ** Source: ''Captain America: Civil War Prelude &ndash; Captain America: The Winter Soldier Adaptation'' * '''HYDRA doesn't like leaks...''' ** Who: Jasper Sitwell ** Source: ''Captain America: Civil War Prelude &ndash; Captain America: The Winter Soldier Adaptation'' * '''Unless you want a two-inch hole in your sternum, I'd put that gun down.''' ** Who: Alexander Pierce ** Source: ''Captain America: Civil War Prelude &ndash; Captain America: The Winter Soldier Adaptation'' * '''Take my hand, Peter.''' ** Who: Meredith Quill ** Source: ''Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Prelude &ndash; Guardians of the Galaxy Adaptation'' * '''Noooooooo!''' ** Who: Ronan the Accuser ** Source: ''Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Prelude &ndash; Guardians of the Galaxy Adaptation'' * '''Leave him to me.''' ** Who: Kurse ** Source: ''Thor: Ragnarok Prelude &ndash; Thor: The Dark World Adaptation'' * '''Nooo!''' ** Who: Malekith the Accursed ** Source: ''Thor: Ragnarok Prelude &ndash; Thor: The Dark World Adaptation'' * '''Surrender the mind stone or I'll&ndash;''' ** Who: Corvus Glaive ** Source: ''Avengers: Endgame Prelude &ndash; Avengers: Infinity War Adaptation'' == Video games == * '''They're coming. You have to leave now.''' ** Who: Ho Yinsen ** Source: ''[[Iron Man (video game)|Iron Man]]'' * '''We don't judge our clients. It's bad for business. You could learn a thing or two from us.''' ** Who: Blacklash ** Source: ''Iron Man'' ** Note: Fate left ambiguous. * '''Tony...''' ** Who: Madame Masque ** Source: ''Iron Man'' * '''Stark! It'll take more than this to stop me.''' ** Who: Titanium Man ** Source: ''Iron Man'' ** Note: Fate left ambiguous. * '''No quitting.''' ** Who: Melter ** Source: ''Iron Man'' ** Note: Fate left ambiguous. * '''Get back here, Tony.''' ** Who: Iron Monger ** Source: ''Iron Man'' * '''Not if my skull brother has anything to say about it!''' ** Who: Bi-Beast ** Source: ''[[The Incredible Hulk (2008 video game)|The Incredible Hulk]]'' * '''You're through, Banner! When this suit blows, everything's going with it, including you!''' ** Who: Glenn Talbot ** Source: ''The Incredible Hulk'' * '''I want more. You saw what he becomes, right? Make me that.''' ** Who: Emil Blonsky ** Source: ''The Incredible Hulk'' * '''I decide when to strike, not him! He's afraid of you! I... am not! I am...''' ** Who: Valentin Shatalov ** Source: ''Iron Man 2'' * '''Yes. You... are... responsible. And you... must... pay!''' ** Who: Ultimo ** Source: ''Iron Man 2'' * '''Short-sighted as ever. This ends now.''' ** Who: Kearson DeWitt ** Source: ''Iron Man 2'' * '''Stupid! I should have seen it coming.''' ** Who: Lady Sif ** Source: ''Thor: God of Thunder'' ** Notes: Later resurrected. * '''No, this is madness!''' ** Who: Ymir ** Source: ''Thor: God of Thunder'' * '''How?! None can defeat Ulik!''' ** Who: Ulik ** Source: ''Thor: God of Thunder'' * '''No!''' ** Who: Surtur ** Source: ''Thor: God of Thunder'' * '''Your efforts are in vain!''' ** Who: Mangog ** Source: ''Thor: God of Thunder'' * '''I will crush your head like an egg!''' ** Who: Iron Cross ** Source: ''Captain America: Super Soldier'' * '''Then they chose wisely. I understand death slows a man down considerably.''' ** Who: Crimson Dynamo ** Source: ''Iron Man 3 &ndash; The Official Game'' * '''No! NOOOooo...''' ** Who: Living Laser ** Source: ''Iron Man 3 &ndash; The Official Game'' * '''You'll die listening to her scream. Or vice versa. I'm not picky.''' ** Who: Ezekiel Stane ** Source: ''Iron Man 3 &ndash; The Official Game'' * '''No! It makes no sense! Who would destroy what they worked a lifetime to build?''' ** Who: M.O.D.O.K. ** Source: ''Iron Man 3 &ndash; The Official Game'' * '''You believe your strength is greater than mine?!''' ** Who: Kurse ** Source: ''Thor: The Dark World &ndash; The Official Game'' * '''You cannot defeat me! I have the power of a god!''' **Who: Malekith the Accursed ** Source: ''Thor: The Dark World &ndash; The Official Game'' * '''Tomorrow, HYDRA will stand master of the world. Born to victory on the wings of the ''Valkyrie''.''' ** Who: Red Skull ** Source: ''Lego Marvel's Avengers: Rail Hydra'' * '''Nooooooo!''' ** Who: Aldrich Killian ** Source: ''Lego Marvel's Avengers: Ready A.I.M. Fire'' == Books == * '''This is the law of nature, Tony.''' ** Who: Obadiah Stane ** Source: ''Iron Man: Novelization'' ==External links== {{Marvel Cinematic Universe}} [[Category:Fictional last words|Marvel Cinematic Universe]] [[Category:Marvel Cinematic Universe]] qf46ejmvtwnpophf2b7rj9c4yk8yipe 3942248 3942078 2026-05-18T05:45:35Z Finisterboy 3120275 /* Television specials */ 3942248 wikitext text/x-wiki Following is a list of last words from media in the '''[[w:Marvel Cinematic Universe|Marvel Cinematic Universe]]''' ('''MCU'''), an American media franchise and shared fictional universe that is centered on a series of superhero films, independently produced by Marvel Studios and based on characters that appear in publications by Marvel Comics. == Films == === ''Infinity Saga'' === ==== Phase One ==== * '''Don't waste it... don't waste your life...''' ** Who: Ho Yinsen ** Source: ''[[Iron Man (2008 film)|Iron Man]]'' ** Note: Yinsen is speaking to Tony Stark while dying from gunshot wounds. * '''This is only a first, crude effort. Stark has perfected his design. He has made a masterpiece of death. A man with a dozen of these can rule all of Asia. And you dream of Stark's throne. We have a common enemy. lf we are still in business, I will give you these designs as a gift. And in turn, I hope you'll repay me with a gift of iron soldiers.''' ** Who: Raza Hamidmi al-Wazar ** Source: ''[[Iron Man (2008 film)|Iron Man]]'' ** Note: Said to Obadiah Stane, who in turn disagrees with the deal he offers him and paralyzes him with a Sonic Taser and leaves him and the militants to be killed by his henchmen. * '''Hold still, you little prick.''' * '''Now it's time for both of us to go.''' ** Who: Iron Monger ** Source: ''[[Iron Man (2008 film)|Iron Man]]'' ** Note: In the official ending, Stane is aiming missiles at Tony Stark, when he is caught in an electric charge, and killed once he falls into the generator. In the original ending, he gets stuck part way down, and has a talk with Tony before his fall continues. * '''So Banner's the only&ndash;''' ** Who: Kathleen Sparr ** Source: ''[[The Incredible Hulk (film)|The Incredible Hulk]]'' ** Note: Struck down by Blonsky while she is interrogating Dr. Sterns about Banner, though it is never confirmed if the blow was fatal * '''Sweet.''' ''(Delta 4: "Booyah!")'' ** Who: Sterling ** Source: ''[[The Incredible Hulk (film)|The Incredible Hulk]]'' * '''I am sorry. All I can give you... is my knowledge...''' ** Who: Anton Vanko ** Source: ''[[Iron Man 2]]'' ** Note: Spoken in Russian. He says these words in the beginning to his son before dying. * '''You lose.''' * '''We will only be the same when you lose everything. When you lose everything that you love.''' ** Who: Whiplash ** Source: ''[[Iron Man 2]]'' ** Note: The first line is said in the official ending, after he activates a self-destruct device and blows himself after being defeated by Iron Man and War Machine. The second line is said in the original ending, where Vanko is killed by War Machine after holding Pepper Potts hostage. * '''It's said you can still hear and see what transpires around you. I hope it's true, so that you may know... your death came... at the hand... of Laufey.''' ** Who: Laufey ** Source: ''[[Thor (film)|Thor]]'' ** Note: Attempts to kill Odin before he is betrayed and killed by Loki. * '''Fool! You cannot control the power you hold. You will burn!''' ** Who: Church Keeper ** Source: ''[[Captain America: The First Avenger]]'' ** Note: Saying this to Schmidt before getting shot dead. * '''Stop him!''' ** Who: Abraham Erskine ** Source: ''[[Captain America: The First Avenger]]'' ** Note: Said before being shot by Heinz Kruger. Before dying from his injuries, Erskine points at Steve Rogers' heart, silently reminding Steve of his promise to remain a good man. * ''(Steve Rogers: "Who the hell are you?")'' '''The first of many. Cut off one head, two more shall take its place.''' ''(crunches cyanide pill)'' '''Hail... HYDRA...''' ** Who: Heinz Kruger ** Source: ''[[Captain America: The First Avenger]]'' ** Note: Saying these words before committing suicide to avoid being interrogated by Rogers. * '''It's okay, boss. This was never gonna work... if they didn't have something... to...''' ** Who: Phil Coulson ** Source: ''[[The Avengers]]'' ** Note: Stabbed in the back by Loki with the Scepter. This is his first death, as in ''Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.'', it is revealed he was deceased for four days before being resurrected. ==== Phase Two ==== * '''Is that all you got? A cheap trick and a cheesy one-liner?''' ''(Tony Stark: "Sweetheart, that could be the name of my autobiography.")'' ** Who: Ellen Brandt ** Source: ''[[Iron Man 3]]'' ** Note: After Tony lures her near a microwave with metal dog tags, it explodes, causing Brandt to be killed and flown into nearby cables. * '''What happens to you? What happens if you go too hot?''' * '''It's all yours now.''' ** Who: Maya Hansen ** Source: ''[[Iron Man 3]]'' ** Note: After threatening to destroy the perfected Extremis formula, Killian shoots Maya in the heart without a second thought when he refuses to spare Tony's life. In the extended version, Maya survives long enough to give Tony the instructions to destroy Extremis. * ''(Iron Man: "The President. Now!")'' '''He's not here. Try the jet stream. Speaking of which, go fish.''' ** Who: Eric Savin ** Source: ''[[Iron Man 3]]'' ** Note: As he is about to escape Air Force One, Savin gets in a fight with Stark's remote-controlled armor and is killed when Stark fires a repulsor blast through Savin's chest at point-blank range. * '''No more false faces. You said you wanted the Mandarin? Well, you're looking right at him. It was always me, Tony, right from the start. ''I AM THE MANDARIN!!!''''' ** Who: Aldrich Killian ** Source: ''[[Iron Man 3]]'' ** Note: Just before he is able to attack Stark, Pepper Potts attacks him from behind, having survived her fall with the help of her new-found Extremis abilities. Just before Killian is able to retaliate, Potts rips a repulsor arm from the Mark VIII suit, attaching it to herself and utilizing its capabilities to finally kill Killian for good. * '''I'll never tell you.''' ** Who: Frigga ** Source: ''[[Thor: The Dark World]]'' ** Note: Answering Malekith's question on where the Aether is, right before being killed by Kurse for not cooperating with Malekith. * '''He is an enemy of Asgard. He was a prisoner in their dungeons.''' ** Who: Algrim ** Source: ''[[Thor: The Dark World]]'' ** Note: Spoken in the Dark Elf Language. Killed by one of his black hole grenades on his belt after stabbing Loki. * '''You think you can stop this? The Aether cannot be destroyed.''' ** Who: Malekith the Accursed ** Source: ''[[Thor: The Dark World]]'' ** Note: Says these words before Thor summons Mjolnir and deals the final blow to Malekith, while Erik Selvig use his scientific equipment to transport Malekith to Svartalfheim, where he is crushed to death by his own damaged ship. * '''I am afraid I have been stalling, Captain. Admit it, it's better this way. We are, both of us, out of time.''' ** Who: Arnim Zola ** Source: ''[[Captain America: The Winter Soldier]]'' ** Note: Says this to Captain America before a missile destroys the facility along with the computers with Zola's conscience. * '''What? Are you crazy? That is a terrible, terrible idea.''' ** Who: Jasper Sitwell ** Source: ''[[Captain America: The Winter Soldier]]'' ** Note: Responding to Rogers' plans to stop Project Insight's launch before he gets thrown out of the car by the Winter Soldier. * '''Hail... HYDRA...''' ** Who: Alexander Pierce ** Source: ''[[Captain America: The Winter Soldier]]'' ** Note: Dying from the gunshot wounds inflicted on him by Nick Fury. * '''Take my hand.''' ** Who: Meredith Quill ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy (film)|Guardians of the Galaxy]]'' ** Note: Peter Quill's mother, dying of brain cancer, says these to Peter before she succumbs to the cancer, given to her by Quill's father, Ego, and dies. * '''Lower your tone! I may be your&ndash;''' ** Who: The Other ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy (film)|Guardians of the Galaxy]]'' ** Note: As Ronan started laying his grievances against Thanos, the Other says these words before Ronan used his Cosmi-Rod to snap the Other's neck, killing him instantly. According to an earlier draft of the script, the Other's complete quote was; ''"I may be your worst enemy."'' * '''I will no longer be your slave!''' ** Who: Carina ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy (film)|Guardians of the Galaxy]]'' ** Note: When the Guardians deliver the Power Stone to the Collector, Carina seizes the opportunity to free herself of slavery and tries to steal the Infinity Stone. However, she is not strong enough to handle it; her body explodes with energy. * '''You will never make it to Ronan.''' ** Who: Korath the Pursuer ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy (film)|Guardians of the Galaxy]]'' ** Note: Said to Star-Lord while trying to stop him from reaching Ronan before he is killed by Drax. * '''Rocket!''' ''(Rocket: "Hold on, Saal! Just&ndash;")'' ** Who: Garthan Saal ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy (film)|Guardians of the Galaxy]]'' ** Note: Said to Rocket Raccoon while trying to hold down against Ronan's ship, the ''Dark Aster'', before Ronan uses the Power of the Orb in the Universal Warhammer to destroy the Nova Corps Ships, killing Saal in the process. * '''''We''... are... Groot.''' ** Who: Groot I ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy (film)|Guardians of the Galaxy]]'' ** Note: Said to Rocket Raccoon while seemingly sacrificing himself to save the rest of the team by enveloping them in a wooden ball grown from himself as Ronan's ship crashes. At the film's conclusion, Rocket has recovered a twig from Groot, which is shown to be re-growing into Baby Groot; however, it has been confirmed by the director that this is a new Groot, and the original Groot is indeed dead. * '''You're a mortal! How?!''' ''(Star-Lord: "You said it yourself, bitch. We're the Guardians of the Galaxy.")'' ** Who: Ronan the Accuser ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy (film)|Guardians of the Galaxy]]'' ** Note: After Rocket and Drax destroy his warhammer, releasing the Power Stone from it, Quill quickly catches the Stone, and, with Gamora, Drax, and Rocket sharing the burden of the Stone's power, a stunned Ronan says these words before Quill directs its energy at Ronan, killing him. * '''The twins.''' ''(Strucker: "They are not ready to take on&ndash;")'' '''No, no, I mean...''' ''(Strucker: "The twins!")'' ** Who: Dr. List ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Age of Ultron]]'' ** Note: Said after the Maximoff twins escaped their cell and before being killed by Iron Man. * '''You'll have to be faster than that.''' * '''About time.''' ** Who: Baron Wolfgang von Strucker ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Age of Ultron]]'' ** Note: Knocked unconscious by Captain America, and says no other lines after that before he is killed in his cell by Ultron, except in the extended version, which shows Strucker being approached by Ultron in his cell, which he initially believed was a jailbreak. * '''I believe it's worth a go.''' ** Who: J.A.R.V.I.S. ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Age of Ultron]]'' ** Note: Said before being uploaded into the Vision, who denies still being J.A.R.V.I.S. * '''You didn't see that coming.''' ** Who: Quicksilver ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Age of Ultron]]'' ** Note: In the final battle against Ultron aboard a chunk of Sokovia, Ultron controls a Quinjet to shoot down Hawkeye as he attempts to save a young boy left in the rubble of a wrecked building. However, Quicksilver runs in front to protect them both, taking the brunt of the bullets before saying this to Hawkeye as he dies. * '''You're unbearably naïve.''' ** Who: Ultron ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Age of Ultron]]'' ** Note: After all of his sentries are destroyed by the Avengers, Ultron, in his last remaining body, says this to Vision, who vaporizes him. * '''Darren, I don't think you understand&ndash;''' ** Who: Frank ** Source: ''[[Ant-Man (film)|Ant-Man]]'' ** Note: When Frank and Darren are alone in the bathroom, Frank says these words before Darren uses a device to turn Frank into goop and wipe him away, flushing him down a toilet. ==== Phase Three ==== * '''You know he knew. Your pal, your buddy, your Bucky.''' ''(Captain America: "What did you say?")'' '''He remembered you. I was there. He got all weepy about it, 'til they put his brain back in a blender. He wanted you to know something. He said to me, "Please tell Rogers, when you gotta go, you gotta go." And you're coming with me.''' ** Who: Crossbones ** Source: ''[[Captain America: Civil War]]'' ** Note: Telling Captain America of a conversation he supposedly had with Bucky, before blowing himself up in an attempt to kill Cap; Scarlet Witch uses her powers to send him away from the heroes, but accidentally ends up sending him into a nearby crowded building, which kills several Wakandan relief workers. * '''When stolen Wakandan vibranium was used to make a terrible weapon, we in Wakanda were forced to question our legacy. Those men and women killed in Nigeria were part of a goodwill mission from a country too long in the shadows. We will not, however, let misfortune drive us back. We will fight to improve the world we wish to join. I am grateful to the Avengers for supporting this initiative. Wakanda is proud to extend its hand in peace.''' ** Who: King T'Chaka of Wakanda ** Source: ''[[Captain America: Civil War]]'' ** Note: Said in a speech before being caught in an explosion at a United Nations embassy caused by Zemo to frame Bucky. * '''Sergeant Barnes?''' ** Who: Howard Stark ** Source: ''[[Captain America: Civil War]]'' ** Note: Assassinated by Bucky Barnes (who was brainwashed by HYDRA as the Winter Soldier) on December 16th, 1991. * '''Help...''' ** Who: Maria Stark ** Source: ''[[Captain America: Civil War]]'' ** Note: Watches in horror as her husband is killed by the Winter Soldier, before she is killed as well. * '''You'd think after all this time I'd be ready. But look at me, stretching one moment out into a thousand, just so I can watch the snow.''' ** Who: The Ancient One ** Source: ''[[Doctor Strange (film)|Doctor Strange]]'' ** Note: Slowing the passage of time before she passes from injuries sustained in a battle with Kaecilius. * '''What is this?''' ** Who: Kaecilius ** Source: ''[[Doctor Strange (film)|Doctor Strange]]'' ** Note: Last words before being combined with the Dark Dimension as a Mindless One, effectively killing Kaecilius. * '''I only ask one thing, that your High Priestess tell him the name of the man what sealed his fate: Taserface!''' ** Who: Taserface ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2]]'' ** Note: After his body wracked by the explosion, Taserface crawls over to a monitor and calls the Sovereign, telling them the coordinates to Yondu and the Guardians of the Galaxy. Taserface dies when an explosion breaks out, and destroys the lower half of the ''Eclector''. Of note, the Sovereign operator who receives his call starts laughing uproariously upon hearing his name, which Taserface witnesses as he dies. * '''Listen to me! You are a God! If you kill me, you'll be just like everybody else!''' ''(Star-Lord: "What's so wrong with that?")'' '''No!''' ** Who: Ego the Living Planet ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2]]'' ** Note: Saying these words to his son, Peter Quill, who had turned against him for being responsible for his mother's death. Quill used his Celestial powers to fight Ego while the rest of the Guardians killed him by planting a bomb on his brain, in the center of the planet. * '''I'm sorry I didn't do none of it right. I'm damn lucky you was my boy.''' ** Who: Yondu Udonta ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2]]'' ** Note: After the Guardians manage to defeat and destroy Ego, Yondu says these words to Quill, whom he escorts away from the destruction of Ego and dies in the vacuum of space. * '''I wonder if you could afford me out there, though. With what I know.''' ''(Vulture: "Excuse me?")'' '''I'm just saying, maybe your wife would like to know where you really get your money from?''' ''(Vulture: "You know what?")'' '''What?''' ''(Vulture: "You're right. I can't afford that.")'' ** Who: Shocker I ** Source: ''[[Spider-Man: Homecoming]]'' ** Note: He and Herman Schultz were selling Chitauri technology to gangster Aaron Davis when Spider-Man disrupts the transaction. After Iron Man saves Spider-Man from Vulture, Shocker is fired for jeopardizing the mission. He then says these last words before being accidentally killed when Vulture mistakes a laser gun with an anti-gravity gun. Schultz is quickly named the new Shocker in his place. * '''Remember this place. Home.''' * '''Asgard... is not a place...''' ** Who: Odin ** Source: ''[[Thor: Ragnarok]]'' ** Note: After Loki banishes Odin on Earth, he becomes close to death. When he dies, his oldest child, Hela, will be freed from prison. After telling his two sons this, he dissolves into glowering showers of energy. In the original scene, set in a New York alleyway, Odin is slain by Hela herself after he loses the energy to contain her in Hel. * '''Who are you? What have you done with Thor?''' ** Who: Volstagg ** Source: ''[[Thor: Ragnarok]]'' ** Note: When Hela begins to attack Asgard after entering the Bifrost, Volstagg stands in her way, with Fandral, and is stabbed twice before dying. * '''Go back to whatever cave you crept out of, you evil demoness!''' ** Who: Hogun ** Source: ''[[Thor: Ragnarok]]'' ** Note: While attempting to fight off Hela, he says these words before being run through with a spear. * '''Hela!''' ** Who: Skurge the Executioner ** Source: ''[[Thor: Ragnarok]]'' ** Note: After working as Hela's executioner, Skurge realized the error of his ways, and redeemed himself by fighting off Hela's minions. However, Hela impales him as he storms up the Bifrost. * '''Whatever game you're playing, it won't work. You can't defeat me.''' ''(Thor: "No, I know. But he can.")'' '''No!''' ** Who: Hela ** Source: ''[[Thor: Ragnarok]]'' ** Note: Hela says this upon seeing Surtur being unleashed, and Thor and Valkyrie send her through a chasm in the Bifrost; During Surtur's destruction of Asgard, he is met with Hela's resistance before he crushes her with his sword. * '''''I am Asgard's doom!''''' ** Who: Surtur ** Source: ''[[Thor: Ragnarok]]'' ** Note: Saying these words as he plunges his sword deep into Asgard and kills Hela, annihilating all of Asgard and himself along with it in the process. * '''You... you really want to go to Wakanda? They're savages! This is what they do to people like us.''' ''(Killmonger: "I ain't worried about no brand. Check these out. Each one is for a kill.")'' '''You can scar yourself as much as you like. To them, you'll just be an outsider. You're crazy to think that you can walk in there.''' ''(Killmonger shows his Wakandan markings)'' '''Ah, and to think I saw you as some crazy American.''' ** Who: Klaw ** Source: ''[[Black Panther (film)|Black Panther]]'' ** Note: Ulysses Klaue teams up with Killmonger. After Klaue refuses to go to Wakanda, Killmonger kills him and takes his body as a token to Wakanda. * '''I observed for as long as I could. Their leaders have been assassinated. Communities flooded with drugs and weapons. They are overly policed and incarcerated. All over the planet, our people suffer because they don't have the tools to fight back. With Vibranium weapons, they can overthrow every country, and Wakanda can rule them all the right way.''' ** Who: N'Jobu ** Source: ''[[Black Panther (film)|Black Panther]]'' ** Note: When T'Chaka confronts N'Jobu for trying to provide Wakandan weapons to oppressed black people in America, T'Chaka had him arrested. N'Jobu tries to kill Zuri but he gets stabbed by T'Chaka with his panther claws. * '''I am the cause of your father's death. Not him. Take me.''' ** Who: Zuri ** Source: ''[[Black Panther (film)|Black Panther]]'' ** Note: When Killmonger battles T'Challa for the throne, Zuri makes a desperate attempt to save his life, offering his life for T'Challa's. Killmonger kills him, then proceeds to defeat T'Challa. * ''(Black Panther: "Maybe we can still heal you.")'' '''Why? So you can just lock me up? Nah. Just bury me in the ocean.... with my ancestors that jumped from the ships, 'cause they knew death.... was better than bondage...''' ** Who: Killmonger ** Source: ''[[Black Panther (film)|Black Panther]]'' ** Note: After being impaled in a fight with T'Challa, Killmonger is helped to a cliff-side where he watches the sunset. T'Challa tries to convince him to stay alive, but Killmonger declines, pulling out the dagger that skewered him and bleeding out. * '''Allfathers, let the dark magic... flow through me one last... time...''' ** Who: Heimdall ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: Heimdall summoned the Bifrost with his last shred of Dark Magic to send Hulk to Earth. Shortly after, Heimdall was impaled by Thanos with Corvus Glaive's weapon. * '''You... will never be... a god.''' ** Who: Loki ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: After failing a desperate trick to destroy Thanos by stabbing him, Loki is strangled to death by Thanos. * '''Painful, aren't they? They were originally designed for microsurgery, and any one of them... could end your friend's life in an instant.''' ''(Iron Man: "I gotta tell you, he's not really my friend. Saving his life is a professional courtesy.")'' '''You've saved nothing. Your powers are inconsequential compared to mine.''' ''(Iron Man: "Yeah, but the kid's seen more movies.")'' ** Who: Ebony Maw ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: While torturing Doctor Strange, Iron Man and Spider Man use the plan from ''Aliens'' that killed the Xenomorph by blasting a hole through the wall of the spaceship, sending Maw flying through space to die. * '''Really? Tears?''' ''(Red Skull: "They are not for him.")'' '''No! This isn't love!''' ''(Thanos: "I ignored my destiny once. I cannot do that again. Even for you. I'm sorry, little one.")'' '''No!''' ** Who: Gamora ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: For Thanos to get the Soul Stone, he must sacrifice someone he loves. He throws Gamora down the abyss to get the Stone. * '''Barely begun, brother.''' ** Who: Shuri ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: In ''Avengers: Endgame'', Shuri is confirmed to be among the victims of the Snap. Later in the film, Professor Hulk is able to bring Shuri back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Guys, we got a Vision situation here!''' ** Who: Falcon I ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: Falcon witnesses Vision fighting off Corvus Glaive. He later crumbles to ash when Thanos snaps his fingers, and is missed by War Machine. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Falcon back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''He will die alone, as will you.''' ** Who: Proxima Midnight ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: Midnight pins down Scarlet Witch, about to kill her, but is dueled by Black Widow and Okoye. She is launched into the air by Wanda's telekinetic powers and sliced in half by one of the Threshers. * '''I thought you were formidable, machine. But you're dying, like any man.''' ** Who: Corvus Glaive ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: While dueling Captain America, and overpowering him, Corvus Glaive is stabbed through the chest by Vision with his own glaive. * '''I love you.''' ** Who: Vision ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: Spoken to Scarlet Witch, after he begs her to destroy the Mind Stone that powers him to prevent Thanos from claiming it and thus completing the Infinity Gauntlet. She tearfully agrees, but Thanos uses the Time Stone to revive Vision and then kill him again to obtain the stone. * ''(Thanos: "I understand, my child. Better than anyone.")'' '''You could never.''' ''(Thanos: "Today, I lost more than you can know. But now is no time to mourn. Now... is no time at all.")'' '''No!''' ** Who: Scarlet Witch ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: When Thanos uses the Time Stone to revive Vision and grab the Mind Stone from his head, Scarlet Witch tries to stop him, but is tossed aside. She later turns to ash when Thanos activates the Gauntlet. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Scarlet Witch back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Steve?''' ** Who: Bucky ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: After Thanos snaps his fingers, Bucky walks to Steve as his hand turns to ash. As Steve runs to him, his whole body crumbles. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Bucky back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Up, General. Up. This is no place to die.''' ** Who: Black Panther I ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: Black Panther reaches his hand out for his general, Okoye, but turns to ash when she takes his hand. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Black Panther back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''I... am... Groot...''' **Translation: '''Dad?''' ** Who: Groot II ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: When Thanos snaps his fingers, Groot begins to crumble to ash. Rocket tearfully asks him not to go, but he fades away. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Groot back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Something's happening.''' ** Who: Mantis ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: When Thanos snaps his fingers, Mantis, who has powerful empathic abilities, senses the pain of those turning to ash around her before she herself is killed. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Mantis back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Quill?''' ** Who: Drax the Destroyer ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: When Thanos snaps his fingers, Drax sees Mantis turn to ash. He turns to Star-Lord before crumbling into ash himself. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Drax back with the Nano Gauntlet. * ''(Iron Man: "Steady, Quill.")'' '''Aw, man.''' ** Who: Star-Lord ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: When Thanos snaps his fingers, Star-Lord watches as two of his fellow Guardians turn to ash. With a realization of what was happening, Star-Lord crumbles to ash. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Star-Lord back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Tony, there was no other way.''' ** Who: Doctor Strange ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: When Thanos was about to kill Tony Stark, Strange exchanged his life for the Time Stone. When Thanos snaps his fingers, and Strange begins to turn to ash, Tony sees Mantis, Drax, and Quill, turning to ash, Stark turns to Strange to which he calmly says these words. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Strange back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''I'm sorry.''' ** Who: Spider-Man ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: After Thanos snaps his fingers, Spider-Man collapses onto Iron Man, crying as he knows he is dying. Iron Man watches as Spider-Man apologizes for failing him and turns to ash. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Spider-Man back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Nick?''' ** Who: Maria Hill ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: When she and Nick Fury witness people being taken by Thanos' snap, she crumbles to ash in front of Nick Fury. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Hill back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Oh, no. Motherf...''' ** Who: Nick Fury ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Infinity War]]'' ** Note: After witnessing Maria Hill crumbling to ash, Fury attempts to contact Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel before turning to ash himself. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Fury back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Also, make sure you stay out of the Tardigrade fields. They're cute, but they'll eat you. And don't get sucked into a Time Vortex. We won't be able to save you.''' ** Who: Janet van Dyne ** Source: ''[[Ant-Man and the Wasp]]'' ** Note: Scott Lang goes into the Quantum Realm. Janet tells Scott not to get sucked into a Time Vortex in the Quantum Realm, but turns to ash due to Thanos' snap, along with Hank and Hope. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Janet back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Scott, we read you.''' ** Who: Hank Pym ** Source: ''[[Ant-Man and the Wasp]]'' ** Note: Scott Lang goes into the Quantum Realm. Hank pages Scott from the Quantum Realm, but turns to ash later due to Thanos' snap, along with Janet and Hope. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Hank back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Great. Preparing for re-entry in, five... four... three...''' ** Who: Wasp ** Source: ''[[Ant-Man and the Wasp]]'' ** Note: Scott Lang goes into the Quantum Realm. Wasp prepares to bring him back, but midway through the countdown, she turns to ash due to Thanos' snap, along with her parents. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Wasp back with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Now, I gotta blow this engine before they find it.''' ** Who: Mar-Vell ** Source: ''[[Captain Marvel (film)|Captain Marvel]]'' ** Note: Mar-Vell was about to shoot the light-speed engine from the jet before the Kree can find it but was shot and killed by Yon-Rogg. * '''You're too late.''' ** Who: Norex ** Source: ''[[Captain Marvel (film)|Captain Marvel]]'' ** Note: He is killed by Yon-Rogg when he arrives to Earth searching for Vers, who had regained her lost memories and remembered her true name Carol Danvers. * '''On it.''' ** Who: Minn-Erva ** Source: ''[[Captain Marvel (film)|Captain Marvel]]'' ** Note: Minn-Erva takes an order from Yon-Rogg to stop the escaping Skrull refugees. During the attempt, her ship was gunned down by Maria Rambeau, killing her. * '''Here we go.''' ** Who: Cooper Barton ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Endgame]]'' ** Note: While playing catch with his younger brother Nathaniel, he says these words before he is turned to dust along with his mother and siblings. He is later revived by Professor Hulk with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Who puts mayo on a hotdog?''' ** Who: Lila Barton ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Endgame]]'' ** Note: After Laura asks Clint and Lila if they went mayo or mustard on their hotdogs, Lila says these words to her dad. After she and Clint finish archery practice, she is turned to dust along with her mother and siblings. She is later revived by Professor Hulk with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''How about ketchup?''' ** Who: Nathaniel Barton ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Endgame]]'' ** Note: When asked what he wants on his hotdog, he says these words before he along with his mother and siblings are turned to dust by Thanos' Snap. He is later revived by Professor Hulk with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Hey, guys! Enough practice, soup's on!''' ** Who: Laura Barton ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Endgame]]'' ** Note: As Laura was preparing the lunch during their picnic, she, along with all of her children, disappeared after Thanos unleashed the Snap. During ''Avengers: Endgame'', Professor Hulk is able to bring Laura back with the Nano Gauntlet. * ''(Nebula: "My father is many things. A liar is not one of them.")'' '''Ah. Thank you, daughter. Perhaps I treated you too harshly.''' ** Who: Thanos ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Endgame]]'' ** Note: Some of the Avengers went to Thanos' planet post-snap to find the stones. Upon learning that he destroyed them, Thor decapitates Thanos. * '''Let me go.''' ''(Hawkeye: "No. Please, no.")'' '''It's okay.''' * '''Copy.''' ** Who: Black Widow ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Endgame]]'' ** Note: In the official scene, Black Widow convinces Hawkeye to allow her to sacrifice herself so he can retrieve the Soul Stone from 2014. In the deleted scene, Black Widow throws herself off the cliff after being injured in Thanos's attack on Vormir, to ensure Hawkeye receives the stone instead of Thanos. * ''(Nebula: "You can change.")'' '''He won't let me.''' ** Who: Nebula (from 2014) ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Endgame]]'' ** Note: During an intense confrontation between herself, Gamora, and her future, redeemed self, the past Nebula refuses to change her ways out of fear of disappointing Thanos and attempts to shoot Gamora, only for her future self to shoot and kill her before she could do so. * '''Sire!''' ** Who: Ebony Maw (from 2014) ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Endgame]]'' ** Note: Maw from 2014 spots Hawkeye escaping with the Nano Gauntlet when the Avengers attempt to bring the Infinity Stones back where they came from. He and Thanos' Black Order are later reduced into ashes after Iron Man snaps his fingers with his own Nano Gauntlet. * '''But, sire, our troops!''' ** Who: Corvus Glaive (from 2014) ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Endgame]]'' ** Note: An enraged Scarlet Witch was rising Thanos into the air telekinetically, which forced him to call an airstrike from his warship, and she alongside the Avengers get blown aside. Glaive from 2014 is later killed when Okoye takes her spear and sends it straight through his chest. * '''I am... inevitable.''' ** Who: Thanos (from 2014) ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Endgame]]'' ** Note: Thanos attempts to perform the snap a second time using the Nano Gauntlet, but is ultimately defeated by Iron Man, who steals the Infinity Stones before Thanos can use them and uses them in his own Nano Gauntlet to reduce him and his Black Order to ash. * '''Hey, Pep.''' ''(Pepper: "Tony. Look at me. We're gonna be okay. You can rest now.")'' ** Who: Iron Man ** Source: ''[[Avengers: Endgame]]'' ** Note: After Iron Man snap his fingers with the stones and he is dying of the Gamma Radiation from the Infinity Stones surging into his body, having only enough energy to acknowledge the presence of his wife, Pepper Potts. * '''You'll see, Peter. People... they need to believe. And nowadays... they'll believe anything.''' ** Who: Mysterio ** Source: ''[[Spider-Man: Far From Home]]'' ** Note: Said before dying from his lethal wounds, sustained when he was caught in the crossfire of his attack drones, and E.D.I.T.H. clarifies that there are no active illusions at play for Peter. But true to Mysterio's words, doctored footage exposing Spider-Man's identity to the world is released shortly after. === ''Multiverse Saga'' === ==== Phase Four ==== * '''Move! What are you waiting for?''' ** Who: General Dreykov ** Source: ''[[Black Widow (2021 film)|Black Widow]]'' ** Note: Dreykov and his men attempt to fly away in an aircraft but were stopped by Yelena Belova, who jams the propeller and destroys the aircraft, killing Dreykov. * '''Our family needs you. Go.''' ** Who: Ying Li ** Source: ''[[Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021 film)|Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings]]'' ** Note: Tells her children to return back inside, before she is murdered by the Iron Gang. * '''I have to save her. She's calling to me.''' ** Who: Mandarin ** Source: ''[[Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021 film)|Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings]]'' ** Note: Last words said to Shang-Chi before the Dweller-in-Darkness emerges from the Dark Gate, snatching the Mandarin and sucking out the lifeforce from his body. * '''Let me out!''' ** Who: The Dweller-in-Darkness ** Source: ''[[Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021 film)|Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings]]'' ** Note: Imitates the voice of Ying Li to trick Wenwu into breaking them out of their prison. Later killed in a battle with Shang-Chi and the Great Protector. * '''Aim for the throat!''' ** Who: Guang Bo ** Source: ''[[Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021 film)|Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings]]'' ** Note: Last words said commanding his army of Ta Lo warriors before a Soul Sucker grabs Guang Bo off the ground and harvests his soul for the Dweller. * '''Remember.''' ** Who: Gilgamesh ** Source: ''[[Eternals (film)|Eternals]]'' ** Note: Mauled by Kro and drained of his powers, before dying of his injuries, while protecting Thena. * '''I've led you down the wrong path.''' ** Who: Ajak ** Source: ''[[Eternals (film)|Eternals]]'' ** Note: Pushed off a cliff by Ikaris into a pack of Deviants led by Kro, who entangles and impales her with his tentacles to absorb her powers. * '''You and I, we're just tools of a God. Built to kill. Thena, remember.''' ** Who: Kro ** Source: ''[[Eternals (film)|Eternals]]'' ** Note: Fails to hypnotize Thena and while attempting to absorb her powers, she breaks free from her hypnosis and generates two swords to dismember Kro into pieces. * '''I'm sorry.''' ** Who: Ikaris ** Source: ''[[Eternals (film)|Eternals]]'' ** Note: Saying these words to Sersi before committing suicide by flying headfirst into the sun. * '''I'm just... gonna catch my breath...''' ** Who: May Parker ** Source: ''[[Spider-Man: No Way Home|Spider-Man: No Way Home]]'' ** Note: She says these words before she succumbs to her injuries after being impaled by the Green Goblin's glider. * '''She was there... because of you. I may have struck the blow, but ''you...'' Ha-ha-ha. You are the one that killed her.''' ** Who: Green Goblin ** Source: ''[[Spider-Man: No Way Home|Spider-Man: No Way Home]]'' ** Note: Last words before he is injected with the Green Goblin anti-serum by MCU Peter, restoring him back to his normal self as Norman Osborn. * '''I know. But, in the grand calculus of the multiverse, your sacrifice is worth more than your life.''' ** Who: Earth-617 Doctor Strange ** Source: ''[[Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness]]'' ** Note: Last words to America Chavez before he's fatally stabbed by the Ribboned Creature. * '''I'm sorry.''' ** Who: Earth-838 Black Bolt ** Source: ''[[Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness]]'' ** Note: Black Bolt's only line, spoken in flashback as he uses his powerful voice to obliterate Earth-838's Doctor Strange. Before he can use it to attack Scarlet Witch, she erases his mouth, causing his power to explode his brain and kill him. * '''Wanda, Black Bolt can destroy you with one whisper from his mouth.''' ''(Scarlet Witch: "What mouth?")'' ** Who: Earth-838 Mister Fantastic ** Source: ''[[Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness]]'' ** Note: After Black Bolt's death, Mister Fantastic attempts to attack Scarlet Witch head-on. He is then pulled apart and stretched out into strings, before she bursts his head. * ''(Scarlet Witch: "Haven't you had enough?")'' '''Oh, I could do this all day.''' ** Who: Earth-838 Captain Carter ** Source: ''[[Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness]]'' ** Note: When Captain Carter throws her shield at Scarlet Witch, she throws the shield back directly at Carter's midsection, bisecting her in half, killing her. * '''Get the hell out of my universe!''' ** Who: Earth-838 Captain Marvel ** Source: ''[[Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness]]'' ** Note: Expelled into a wall by a psionic blast during a standoff with Scarlet Witch, who uses her powers to collapse a statue on top of Captain Marvel, crushing her. * '''Perhaps, if I can pull you from under the rubble, the spell will break.''' ** Who: Earth-838 Professor X ** Source: ''[[Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness]]'' ** Note: Xavier overtakes Scarlet Witch's mind, communicating with the trapped Earth-838 Wanda. However, Scarlet Witch violently rips off Xavier's neck, instantly killing him. * '''Here's the deal: I'll let you use the Darkhold, if you give me your Christine.''' ''(Doctor Strange: "Yeah... I don't think she's gonna go for that.")'' '''No? Didn't think so.''' ** Who: "Sinister Strange" ** Source: ''[[Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness]]'' ** Note: Defenestrated by Strange during their duel, and impaled by a fencepost in his fall. * '''No one will ever be tempted by the Darkhold again.''' ** Who: Scarlet Witch ** Source: ''[[Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness]]'' ** Note: Collapses Wundagore Mountain onto herself in order to destroy all Darkholds across the multiverse, out of guilt for allowing the book to corrupt her, though her final fate is left ambiguous, as her body is never seen, though the tie-in book, ''Marvel Studios' The Marvel Cinematic Universe: An Official Timeline'', does refer her as being deceased. * '''I love you.''' ** Who: Mighty Thor ** Source: ''[[Thor: Love and Thunder]]'' ** Note: Diagnosed with a terminal cancer, Jane became the "Mighty Thor" after coming in possession of a reconstructed Mjolnir, which at first healed her, but it soon begun to increase her cancer. Despite knowing that wielding it one more time will likely kill her, Jane joined Thor in the final battle against Gorr. After destroying the Necrosword and entering Eternity's realm with Thor and Gorr, Jane says these words before vanishing in Thor's arms. Her spirit later appears in Valhalla. * '''Protect her. Protect my love.''' ** Who: Gorr the God Butcher ** Source: ''[[Thor: Love and Thunder]]'' ** Note: Dying of constant use of the Necrosword and near to wish from Eternity, Gorr is given a chance to choose between saving his daughter Love, or killing all gods. After witnessing Jane Foster die in Thor's arms, a remorseful Gorr wishes to have his daughter back to life, and says these words to Thor before dying. * '''Go, child.''' ''(Riri: "Wait, what? And leave you here?")'' '''Run!''' ** Who: Queen Ramonda ** Source: ''[[Black Panther: Wakanda Forever]]'' ** Note: When Namor floods the queen's palace, Queen Ramonda saves Riri Williams from drowning but drowns and dies in the process. ==== Phase Five ==== * '''And at least I died... an Avenger.''' ** Who: M.O.D.O.K. ** Source: ''[[Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania]]'' ** Note: Dies drowning in his own blood and organs after Kang fatally injures him with an energy blast. * '''But you thought you could win.''' ** Who: Kang the Conqueror ** Source: ''[[Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania]]'' ** Note: Shrunken and decimated into his own Multiversal Power Core after a fistfight with Ant-Man. * ''(Mantis: "Who is that maniac?")'' '''Some super douche with ray gun hands! I don't frickin' know.''' ** Who: Rocket Raccoon ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3]]'' ** Note: Last words before being critically injured by Adam Warlock. He later succumbs to his injuries, but is revived by Star-Lord giving him cardiopulmonary resuscitation. * '''Gamora is here. Which means the squirrel is also. To save ourselves, we must bring it to the High Evolutionary before his own people do.''' ** Who: Ayesha ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3]]'' ** Note: Last words on-screen before being killed in the destruction of Counter-Earth. * '''Sky...''' ** Who: Lylla ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3]]'' ** Note: Fatally shot in the back with a blaster by the High Evolutionary. * '''Rocket, Teefs, Floor, go now!''' ** Who: Floor ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3]]'' ** Note: Killed by the High Evolutionary's guards while panicking in her cage. * '''Rocket!''' ** Who: Teefs ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3]]'' ** Note: Killed by the High Evolutionary's guards. * '''You'll kill us both!''' ** Who: Theel ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3]]'' ** Note: Tackled off of the High Evolutionary's ship by Star-Lord and slammed into the ground after a thousand-foot freefall. * '''Controller, I am taking command of the ''Arête''. Disengage all damaged sectors of the ship, and retreat&ndash;''' ** Who: Vim ** Source: ''[[Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3]]'' ** Note: Killed by the High Evolutionary's energy blast during an attempted mutiny. * '''Try anything, and I'll kill her faster than you can move.''' ** Who: Dar-Benn ** Source: ''[[The Marvels]]'' ** Note: Said to Captain Marvel while threatening to kill a pinned down Kamala Khan, before taking her Quantum Band, and using it and the one in her possession in conjunction to tear open another hole in space. The effort in doing so destroys Dar-Benn and leaves behind an opening into the multiverse, which is closed by the combined efforts of the Marvels. * '''Ready to die?''' ** Who: Sabretooth ** Source: ''[[Deadpool & Wolverine]]'' ** Note: Said before being swiftly decapitated by Wolverine. * '''I... I... I don't&ndash;''' ** Who: [[Fantastic Four (2005 film)|Earth-121698]] Human Torch ** Source: ''[[Deadpool & Wolverine]]'' ** Note: Denying saying any of the insults Deadpool had just repeated to Cassandra Nova before the latter telekinetically rips off his skin, killing him. * '''Paradox, we have a problem.''' ** Who: Pyro ** Source: ''[[Deadpool & Wolverine]]'' ** Note: Said before Cassandra snaps his neck. * '''What a mess.''' ** Who: Cassandra Nova ** Source: ''[[Deadpool & Wolverine]]'' ** Note: Atomized by the energy of the Time Ripper when Deadpool and Wolverine overloaded it. * ''(Leader: "I take no pleasure in your death, but I can't have you calling the Captain.")'' '''Who... are... you?''' ''(Leader: "Isn't it obvious? I'm the hero.")'' ** Who: Commander Dennis Dunphy ** Source: ''[[Captain America: Brave New World]]'' ** Note: Heart stopped via vibrational frequency. * '''I'm not here for you.''' ** Who: Taskmaster ** Source: ''[[Thunderbolts*]]'' **Note: Said to Yelena Belova before being shot by Ghost. ==== Phase Six ==== * '''Save our son!''' ** Who: Invisible Woman ** Source: ''[[The Fantastic Four: First Steps]]'' ** Note: Dies after overstraining herself pushing Galactus into a portal away from Earth with her forcefields, but is quickly brought back to life by her son, Franklin, using his reality warping powers. == Live-action television == === ABC === ==== ''[[Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.]]'' ==== * '''We have to live with the choices we make, but sometimes we have to die with them, too.''' ''(Coulson: "I understand. You made a hard call.")'' '''Yes.''' ''(Coulson: "And now I have to make mine.")'' ** Who: Franklin Hall ** Source: ''The Asset'' * '''Please. Look, we can fix you, make you stronger, take the name "Scorch" and make it mean something.''' ** Who: Debbie ** Source: ''Girl in the Flower Dress'' * '''It already does.''' ** Who: Scorch ** Source: ''Girl in the Flower Dress'' ** Note: Seeing no other option to subdue Scorch, Coulson orders Agent May to overdose him with Extremis, which causes him to overheat and explode. * '''Yes, I'm here.''' ** Who: Edison Po ** Source: ''The Magical Place'' ** Note: Said before being killed by the phone he's holding when the Clairvoyant no longer considers him useful. * '''No matter where I go, or what you do to me, I will always&ndash;''' ** Who: Thomas Nash ** Source: ''End of the Beginning'' * '''What do you think, Agent Ward? You shot the wrong Clairvoyant before. Care to shoot the right one?''' ** Who: Victoria Hand ** Source: ''Turn, Turn, Turn'' ** Note: Said before being killed by the HYDRA sleeper agent, Grant Ward. * '''I guess living on the edge really pays off sometimes.''' ** Who: Eric Koenig ** Source: ''The Only Light in the Darkness'' ** Note: Said before being killed off-screen by Grant Ward. * '''I'm sorry I scare you. I know that I'm a monster. But you're the one that can save me.''' ** Who: Blackout ** Source: ''The Only Light in the Darkness'' * '''There's a reason why they say, "Cut off the head." Now, I'll be unsto&ndash;''' ** Who: The Clairvoyant ** Source: ''Beginning of the End'' ** Note: Said before being vaporized by Coulson with the 0-8-4. * '''You got it.''' ** Who: Idaho ** Source: ''Shadows'' ** Note: He dies when the car he's driving hits the currently solid asphalt Carl Creel. * '''I don't want to die.''' ** Who: Isabelle Hartley ** Source: ''Shadows'' ** Note: She dies when the car she riding in hits the currently solid asphalt Carl Creel. * '''I'm happy to comply.''' ** Who: Blizzard ** Source: ''Making Friends and Influencing People'' ** Note: Said after his HYDRA brainwashing takes effect. Skye snipes him off a cargo ship, where he drowns in the water. * '''I'm sorry. Grant, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry.''' ** Who: Christian Ward ** Source: ''The Things We Bury'' ** Note: Grant Ward took his brother to their family home where, after he confess to his childhood bullying, he murders Christian with their parents and burns the house down, making it look like a murder-suicide. * '''Take a team and sweep this place floor by floor.''' ** Who: Daniel Whitehall ** Source: ''What They Become'' * '''No. ''No!''''' ** Who: Antoine Triplett ** Source: ''What They Become'' * '''I'll take your pain.''' ** Who: Katya Belyakov ** Source: ''Melinda'' * '''Sir, watch out!''' ** Who: Sunil Bakshi ** Source: ''The Dirty Half Dozen'' ** Note: Taking the splinter bomb that Simmons was going to use to kill Ward, which reduces Bakshi to ash. * '''You'll get everyone killed, you crazy&ndash;''' ** Who: Robert Gonzales ** Source: ''Scars'' ** Note: Said to Jiaying as he is petrified by the power of the Diviner in her pre-emptive strike against S.H.I.E.L.D. * '''Angels are guardians, Jiaying, but there also heralds sent to reveal the truth, and that is my purpose. I'm here to show the Inhumans exactly what you are. Even in the darkness, they will see the truth.''' ** Who: Raina ** Source: ''S.O.S'' ** Note: Her throat is then slit by Jiaying. * '''Baby...''' ** Who: Kara Palamas ** Source: ''S.O.S'' ** Note: Mistakenly gunned down by Ward who believed she was Agent May. * '''I'm trapped in here? That's not possible. What did you do?''' ** Who: Gordon ** Source: ''S.O.S'' ** Note: After his now-dampened teleportation range leads to him warping into and being impaled by a pipe Fitz was holding. * '''Cal, what are you doing?''' ** Who: Jiaying ** Source: ''S.O.S'' ** Note: Killed by Cal, trying to save Skye from being killed by her, and to spare Skye the pain of being the one to kill her. * '''Go, Jemma!''' ** Who: Will Daniels ** Source: ''4,722 Hours'' ** Notes: As Simmons is rescued from Maveth by Fitz, Daniels ensured her safety by battling Hive, losing his life in the process and having his body taken over. His death would not be revealed until ''Maveth''. * '''What makes you think you can beat me?''' ** Who: Kebo ** Source: ''Among Us Hide...'' ** Note: When Kebo was sent to assassinate Werner von Strucker, his team were ambushed by S.H.I.E.L.D. and Kebo was electrocuted to death in a swimming pool by Bobbi Morse. * '''Just another day. But I scheduled a meeting with Malick, and that way&ndash;''' ** Who: Rosalind Price ** Source: ''Closure'' ** Note: Assassinated by Grant Ward to hurt Coulson and prevent Price from exposing Gideon Malick's allegiance to HYDRA. * '''It's not me!''' ** Who: Luther Banks ** Source: ''Closure'' ** Note: When it was discovered that the ATCU was secretly funded by HYDRA, Banks was assassinated by Giyera. * '''I could move faster if you hadn't shot me. Twice.''' ** Who: Grant Ward ** Source: ''Maveth'' ** Note: He dies when his chest is crushed by Phil Coulson. His corpse is then taken over by Hive, a body-snatching Inhuman, who uses Ward's corpse to escape back to Earth. * '''For Mother Russia!''' ** Who: Anton Petrov ** Source: ''Parting Shot'' ** Note: Petrov dies by the hands of Lance Hunter during an attempt to assassinate Prime Minister Dimitri Olshenko. * '''That's funny. We're trying to do the same&ndash;''' ** Who: Andrew Garner ** Source: ''Spacetime'' ** Notes: Last words before permanently transforming into Lash. * '''Do what you have to.''' ** Who: Stephanie Malick ** Source: ''Paradise Lost'' ** Note: Suffocated afterwards by Hive's powers. * '''So it's you. I was curious who Hive would send. I know what you're gonna do.''' ''(Daisy: "We can't let you keep talking.")'' '''And I won't be kept from my daughter.''' ** Who: Gideon Malick ** Source: ''The Team'' * '''You should be proud of what we've become.''' ** Who: Alisha Whitley ** Source: ''Failed Experiments'' * '''Now you're free.''' ** Who: Lash ** Source: ''Emancipation'' ** Note: Freeing Daisy from Hive's control, right before being impaled by Hellfire. * '''Show me.''' ** Who: Giyera ** Source: ''Ascension'' ** Note: While helping Hive complete his plan to transform the Earth's population into Primitives, Giyera was outwitted and killed by Leo Fitz. * '''I only wanted to make it better.''' ''(Lincoln: "I know")'' '''To feel a connection. But you must feel that already... to sacrifice for them... with all their flaws.''' ** Who: Hive ** Source: ''Ascension'' * '''They're only human.''' ** Who: Lincoln Campbell ** Source: ''Ascension'' * '''You're just like your uncle. You have the same fire.''' ** Who: Lucy Bauer ** Source: ''The Good Samaritan'' ** Note: Said while facing down the Ghost Rider, who then destroys her soul. * '''It's not my end. It's yours.''' ** Who: Eli Morrow ** Source: ''The Laws of Inferno Dynamics'' * '''Look at you. You're disgusting, you son of a&ndash;''' ** Who: Ellen Nadeer ** Source: ''BOOM'' ** Note: Says this after Shockley undergoes Terrigenesis, only to have him literally explode in her face. * '''I believe in Agent Coulson. I believe in S.H.I.E.L.D. Because for all its imperfections, it strives to do the right thing to protect people. You claim to fight for others, for humanity. I think you lost yours a long time ago. And to answer your question, I do have one regret. That I don't have any superpowers of my own that I could use... to kick... your... ass!''' ** Who: Jeffrey Mace ** Source: ''The Man Behind the Shield'' ** Note: Last words before being uploaded into the Framework, where his avatar is killed, and he dies in the real world as well. * '''My programming was to get the Darkhold. That came from Radcliffe. But my impulse to keep Coulson safe and close, that desire... that came from me.''' ''(LMD Coulson: "That's good.")'' '''And I'm sorry to say... you're not him.''' ** Who: Life-Model Decoy Melinda May ** Source: ''Self Control'' * '''Why does she look like me, Holden?''' ** Who: Agnes Kitsworth ** Source: ''Identity and Change'' * '''Go!''' ** Who: Framework Jeffrey Mace, the Patriot ** Source: ''No Regrets'' ** Note: With the others evacuated to safety, the Patriot dies while attempting to hold up the crumbling debris, killing him in the real world as well. * '''The only one dying today is you.''' ** Who: Framework Alistair Fitz ** Source: ''Farewell, Cruel World!'' ** Note: Said to Simmons as he attempts to strangle her, before she accidentally shoots him in the stomach. * '''We should be good here.''' ** Who: Agent Prince ** Source: ''The Return'' * '''Don't you get it? You can't kill me.''' ** Who: A.I.D.A. ** Source: ''World's End'' ** Note: Taunting Coulson about her powers. Then, he reveals he is acting as a host to Ghost Rider, who promptly kills her. * '''This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang, but a&ndash;''' ** Who: Holden Radcliffe ** Source: ''World's End'' ** Note: Calmly accepting the destruction of the Framework with him still in it. * '''This will make a lot more sense once I show you&ndash;''' ** Who: Virgil ** Source: ''Orientation'' ** Notes: Character is killed the aborted future timeline. * '''Understood. We done here?''' ** Who: Tess ** Source: ''Fun & Games'' ** Notes: Character is killed the aborted future timeline, and resurrected by Kree blood in ''The Last Day''. * '''It won't happen again. I was wrong. Please!''' * '''Don't blame yourself.''' ** Who: Ben ** Source: ''Fun & Games'' ** Notes: Character is killed the aborted future timeline. First line is spoken to Kasius, with the second line being a telepathic thought to Daisy Johnson. * '''You stop it, or I will stop you.''' ** Who: Grill ** Source: ''Fun & Games'' ** Notes: Character is killed the aborted future timeline. * '''But good you turned yourself in.''' ** Who: The Vicar ** Source: ''Together or Not at All'' ** Notes: Character is killed the aborted future timeline. * '''You play god over a dead rock. But you're just a coward who hides, then stabs his enemies in the back.''' ** Who: Faulnak ** Source: ''Together or Not at All'' ** Notes: Character is killed the aborted future timeline. * '''I think I can go back to sleep now.''' ** Who: Robin Hinton ** Source: ''The Last Day'' ** Notes: Character is killed the aborted future timeline. * '''I'm not supposed to kill you. But, oh, well.''' ** Who: Sinara ** Source: ''Best Laid Plans'' ** Notes: Character is killed the aborted future timeline. * '''Kasius freed me. I feel no pain.''' ** Who: Tye ** Source: ''Past Life'' ** Notes: Character is killed the aborted future timeline. * '''Strength? They cut off their heads. They must answer for it. They have nowhere to run. We have their ship. Next, we secure all of the trawlers and squeeze the Terrans until they drop at our feet.''' ** Who: Hek-Sel ** Source: ''Past Life'' ** Notes: Character is killed the aborted future timeline. * '''Mack, run! Leave! Go home!''' ** Who: Yo-Yo Rodriguez ** Source: ''Past Life'' ** Notes: Character is killed the aborted future timeline. * '''My father will see me. ''He will have his world!'' Not just the sliver Quake left behind.''' ** Who: Kasius ** Source: ''Past Life'' ** Notes: Character is killed the aborted future timeline. * '''I will be offline sooner than anticipated.''' ''(grunts)'' '''Far sooner. You need to patch in immediately.''' ** Who: Enoch ** Source: ''Past Life'' ** Notes: Character is killed the aborted future timeline. As a result of his Chronicom lifespan, a younger version of Enoch remains alive in the new timeline. * '''Then I'll take you myself''' ** Who: Fear Dimension Manifestation of Mike Peterson ** Source: ''The Real Deal'' * '''Let's hope that that doesn't happen.''' ** Who: The Doctor ** Source: ''The Devil Complex'' ** Notes: These are the last words of the Doctor before Fitz reseals him inside his mind. He remains absent for the rest of the season, and dies with Fitz in ''The End''. * '''I never wanted any of that HYDRA nonsense. I just wanted the Gravitonium.''' ''(Raina: "Oh, no. You misunderstand. It wanted you.")'' '''No.''' ** Who: Ian Quinn ** Source: ''Inside Voices'' ** Notes: Character's demise is depicted in a flashback to the events of ''Beginning of the End''. * '''I have died dozens of times. But you, no second chances.''' ** Who: Superior ** Source: ''The Honeymoon'' * '''I'm not going anywhere.''' ** Who: Werner von Strucker ** Source: ''All Roads Lead...'' * '''I'm losing!''' * '''I won't be able to resist.''' ** Who: Ruby Hale ** Source: ''All Roads Lead...'' ** Notes: First line is spoken by Ruby, with the second line being the Gravitonium speaking through Ruby. * '''You need to take a deep breath and calm your mind, Glenn. You know what's best. It's best if you comply.''' ''(Talbot: "Compliance will be rewarded.")'' '''That's right.''' ''(Talbot: "And so will your betrayal.")'' ** Who: General Hale ** Source: ''The One Who Will Save Us All'' * ''(Talbot: "What do you feel?")'' '''Peace. So much quieter... Wait!''' ''(Talbot: "This part isn't gonna be great for you...")'' '''Sir!''' ''(Talbot: "...Carl...")'' '''No!''' ''(Talbot: "...but it will be over quickly. I promise.")'' ** Who: Absorbing Man ** Source: ''The Force of Gravity'' * '''How?''' ** Who: Qovas ** Source: ''The Force of Gravity'' * '''Well, now I'll just break you in half.''' ** Who: Graviton ** Source: ''The End'' * '''Hey, Mack. I think my legs are broken.''' ** Who: Leo Fitz ** Source: ''The End'' ** Note: As a result of freezing himself to get to the aborted future, a younger version of Fitz remains alive in the new timeline. * '''So, that's a no?''' ** Who: Damon Keller ** Source: ''Code Yellow'' * '''You know what they say, "Every dream is someone else's nightmare."''' ** Who: Phil Coulson ** Source: ''The Other Thing'' ** Note: Last words on-screen before passing away in his sleep. * '''Don't take the bait? Hey, take the bait! Help me!''' ** Who: Pax ** Source: ''Collision Course: Part Two'' ** Note: Spoken through a gag. * '''Don't worry. I'll be a butterfly.''' ** Who: Jaco ** Source: ''Collision Course: Part Two'' * '''I can't shoot Piper, Director.''' ** Who: James Davis ** Source: ''Leap'' * '''I don't need to beat you. I've done what I came here to do. I'll go, and on the other side, you're already dead. As for erasing you from existence, they'll do it for me.''' ** Who: Izel ** Source: ''New Life'' * '''Why continue?''' ''(Quake: "Let me guess, surrender and we'll never suffer again?")'' '''Oh, no. I'll make sure you do. I'll handpick the spirits to take you, to use your flesh, to ravage your insides. Every waking moment, a battle will rage within you.''' ** Who: Pachakutiq ** Source: ''New Life'' * '''And even if you figure out what's going on, there's nothing you can do, because the Chronicoms see everything. They see what you're going to do, and they know exac—''' ** Who: Alternate timeline Wilfred Malick ** Source: ''A Trout in the Milk'' * '''It doesn't matter.''' ** Who: Luke ** Source: ''Adapt or Die'' * '''Fitz. He was my best friend.''' ''(Quake: "And you were a good friend to Fitz. You were a good friend to all of us.")'' '''As I have always...''' ** Who: Enoch ** Source: ''As I Have Always Been'' * '''You're hilarious.''' ** Who: Alternate timeline Gordon ** Source: ''Stolen'' * '''Leave my daughter alone.''' ** Who: Alternate timeline Jiaying ** Source: ''Stolen'' * '''New timeline, new John Garrett.''' ** Who: Alternate timeline John Garrett ** Source: ''The End is at Hand'' * '''All available Hunters, disembark for the Lighthouse, where we have established a stronghold. All spacecraft, prepare to fire on previously targeted S.H.I.E.L.D. posts.''' ''(Coulson: "Now it's my turn to smile. We just needed you to enter your authorization.")'' '''Oh? And what comes next?''' ''(May: "The Cavalry.")'' ** Who: Sibyl ** Source: ''What We're Fighting For'' * ''(Quake: "Those sparks? That means Kora's purged all the Chronicom data from the planet. Turned the attack to our side. Mission accomplished.")'' '''Down on the planet. But up here? These ships are about to vaporize your friends down below. And you can't stop that. There is no way to kill me without killing yourself.''' ''(Quake: "That's the idea.")'' ** Who: Alternate timeline Nathaniel Malick ** Source: ''What We're Fighting For'' ==== ''[[Agent Carter (TV series)|Agent Carter]]'' ==== * '''I want you to tell me all about it, in the morning.''' ** Who: Colleen O'Brien ** Source: ''Now is Not the End'' ** Note: Said before she is killed by Sasha Demidov, the Man in the Green Suit. * '''LOCATED NITRAMENE BUYER. EN ROUTE TO INTERCEPT.''' ** Who: The Man in the Green Suit ** Source: ''Bridge and Tunnel'' * '''I want protection.''' ** Who: Leet Brannis ** Source: ''Bridge and Tunnel'' * '''You're lucky this is a company car.''' ** Who: Ray Krzeminski ** Source: ''Time and Tide'' ** Note: Character's car is rear-ended by another vehicle. When he goes up to the other car, he is shot dead by the driver. * '''It's Russia, man.''' ** Who: Junior Juniper ** Source: ''The Iron Ceiling'' ** Note: During an infiltration mission into the Red Room Academy in Belarus, Juniper is killed by Eva, one of the students of the Academy, who used Dum Dum Dugan's pistol to shoot him. * '''Atta girl.''' ** Who: Roger Dooley ** Source: ''Snafu'' ** Note: Character was hypnotized into wearing a bomb vest. When Peggy Carter promises to capture the hypnotizer, Dooley says these words before jumping out a window and exploding. * '''See, I think that's where you're wrong. No, you're gonna protect me. 'Cause I can go to the Council, too, and tell them what you're up to, and what your wife's up to. So you're gonna help me, or I'm gonna get real yappy real fast.''' ** Who: Rufus Hunt ** Source: ''Smoke & Mirrors'' ** Note: He was killed by Whitney Frost, who absorbed him with Zero Matter. * '''No. Whitney, please. Please, darling, I'm sorry.''' ''(Whitney: "I trusted you.")'' '''I know. Please, don't, please.''' ''(Whitney: "I made you.")'' '''Please, please.''' ** Who: Calvin Chadwick ** Source: ''Life of the Party'' ** Note: Chadwick tried to support and protect his wife when she became infected by Zero Matter, but soon began fearing for his own safety as he went against the Council of Nine and made a deal with Joseph Manfredi. When he tried to betray his wife by handing her over to the Council, Frost used her new powers to kill Chadwick. * '''Because they got you too, bitch!''' ** Who: Vernon Masters ** Source: ''A Little Song and Dance'' ** Note: Response to Frost asking him why he was smiling. Suddenly, Wilkes stormed into the room moments before the Zero Matter inside him overloaded and exploded. Fate left ambiguous. * '''I'm leaving, just give me a second.''' ** Who: Jack Thompson ** Source: ''Hollywood Ending'' ** Notes: Character is shot in the unresolved cliffhanger of the show, leaving his official fate unknown. ==== ''[[Inhumans (TV series)|Inhumans]]'' ==== * '''I'm truly sorry it came to this.''' ** Who: Kitang ** Source: ''Behold... The Inhumans!'' * '''I'm not getting locked away!''' ** Who: Mordis ** Source: ''The Gentleman's Name is Gorgon'' * '''Go!''' ** Who: Gorgon ** Source: ''The Gentleman's Name is Gorgon'' ** Notes: Later brought back to life by Karnak and Auran. * '''You will fail.''' ** Who: Tibor ** Source: ''The Gentleman's Name is Gorgon'' * '''I don't want to hurt you, but I will! I will hurt you! Just stay back!''' ** Who: Evan Declan ** Source: ''...And Finally: Black Bolt'' === Netflix === ==== ''[[The Defenders (TV series)|The Defenders]]'' arc ==== * '''Just once, I want Mattie to hear people cheer for his old man. Just once.''' ** Who: Jack Murdock ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''Cut Man'' ** Note: Said before winning a fight he was meant to throw and being shot dead afterwards. * '''You should have just killed me, you coward.''' ** Who: Tenpin ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''Rabbit in a Snow Storm'' ** Note: Before ramming his head through a spike out of fear of the consequences of telling Matt about Wilson Fisk. * '''Help me... please... help...''' ** Who: Anatoly Ranskahov ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''In the Blood'' ** Note: Said while Wilson Fisk is slamming his head repeatedly in a car door, eventually decapitating him. Spoken in Russian. * ''To be added'' ** Who: Vladimir Ranskahov ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''Condemned'' ** Note: Spoken in Russian. Sacrifices himself to allow Daredevil to escape. * '''Is it my turn for this?''' ** Who: Christian Blake ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''Shadows in the Glass'' * '''You believe this kid? He gets that shit from you.''' ** Who: Bill Fisk ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''Shadows in the Glass'' ** Note: Says these words to his wife before the young Wilson smashes his skull with a hammer. * '''Miss Page&ndash;''' ** Who: James Wesley ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''The Path of the Righteous'' ** Note: Attempting to talk Karen Page into putting down a loaded gun before being shot dead. * '''I wrote a lot of stories in my years pushing ink. You know how many times people have threatened me, get me to keep my mouth shut?''' ** Who: Ben Urich ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''The Ones We Leave Behind'' ** Note: Says this before an enraged Wilson Fisk strangles him to death for talking to Fisk's mother. * '''Wait, wait!''' ** Who: Owl ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''Daredevil'' ** Note: Attempting to reason with Fisk over a failed attempt on Vanessa's life before Fisk throws him down an elevator shaft, killing him. * '''Thank you.''' * '''Thank you, Ms. Jones.''' ** Who: Barbara and Bob Shlottman ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA Ladies Night'' ** Note: Thanking Jessica Jones for getting their daughter Hope back before Hope, under Kilgrave's control, shoots them both dead. * '''Because I love her.''' ** Who: Ruben ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA Top Shelf Perverts'' ** Note: Forced to commit suicide by Kilgrave. * '''She broke it! She broke my Game Boy!''' ** Who: Phillip Jones ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA WWJD?'' ** Note: Last spoken words before being killed in a car crash. * '''Jessica, why did you do that?''' ** Who: Brian Jones ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA WWJD?'' ** Note: Last spoken words before being killed in a car crash. * '''You're our responsibility. We have ''got'' to stop you.''' ** Who: Louise Thompson ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA Sin Bin'' ** Note: Says this before Kilgrave has her stab herself to death with scissors. * '''A hotel on Washington, across from Barbuto.''' ** Who: Oscar Clemons ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA 1,000 Cuts'' ** Note: Informing Will Simpson of Trish and Albert's ploy to create a vaccine against Kilgrave's powers; Simpson then shoots him in the head. * '''Twenty-nine.''' ** Who: Wendy Ross-Hogarth ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA 1,000 Cuts'' ** Note: Attempting to kill Jeri by cutting her a thousand times on Kilgrave's orders. Pam interrupts her by hitting her with a metal vase, the impact of which sends Wendy tumbling head-first into the corner of a table. * '''You can kill him now? Tell me. Tell me! Tell me...''' ** Who: Hope Shlottman ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA 1,000 Cuts'' ** Note: Committing suicide to leave Kilgrave without any leverage in his attempt to walk free. * '''He's stronger... Don't listen... Don't look at him... He'll make you kill!''' ** Who: Albert Thompson ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA Smile'' ** Note: Warning Jessica about Kilgrave before dying from blood loss due to one of Kilgrave's unwilling henchmen cutting his arms off. * '''Tell me you love me.''' ** Who: Purple Man ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA Smile'' ** Note: Saying these words to Jessica, who was at the time resisting his mind controlling powers. She says the words to Trish before she snaps his neck, killing him and freeing everyone else from his control. * '''Anyone crosses us, we'll paint the streets red with their blood, and when they're gone, we'll make your father proud, and purge ourselves of the filthy traitors who betrayed their own kind, and make Hell's Kitchen ours again!''' ** Who: Nesbitt ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''Bang'' ** Note: Character, an Irish mob member, makes a speech before everyone in the room is shot dead by the Punisher. * '''Why didn't you stop him?''' ** Who: Grotto ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''New York's Finest'' ** Note: Bleeding out from a gunshot wound inflicted by Frank Castle that Daredevil could have only stopped by killing Castle. * '''Your family?''' ''(Punisher: "Yeah.")'' '''Who cares!?''' ** Who: Finn Cooley ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''Penny and Dime'' ** Note: Refusing to tell Frank Castle the identity of his family's killers before being shot in the face. * '''You know, this crusade of yours, it's never gonna end, right? Right?''' ** Who: Dutton ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''Seven Minutes in Heaven'' ** Note: Addressing Frank Castle before being stabbed by him in prison. * '''I wanna make sure that nobody else gets hurt. Look, I... I know what I've done here. But please. I don't give a shit about my job anymore. I just wanna keep my family safe.''' ** Who: Samantha Reyes ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''The Man in The Box'' ** Note: Gunned down in her office by the Blacksmith in order to frame Frank Castle. * '''I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I promise it's going to be better now.''' ** Who: Stan Gibson ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''The Man in The Box'' ** Note: Gibson, out of desperation, worked with Daredevil to find and free his son, but was eventually killed by Daniel and another child who suffered from chemical brainwashing by the Hand. * '''Perhaps. It does not matter. We will continue until he breaks.''' ** Who: Hirochi ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''The Dark at the End of the Tunnel'' ** Note: Spoken in Japanese. * '''You stupid son&ndash;''' ** Who: Blacksmith ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''The Dark at the End of the Tunnel'' ** Note: Shot by Frank Castle to exact revenge for his family's death. * '''This is not the end.''' ** Who: Elektra ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''A Cold Day in Hell's Kitchen'' ** Note: Dying in Matt's arms after intercepting a blow meant for him by Nobu. Resurrected in ''The Defenders''. * '''Finish him.''' ** Who: Nobu Yoshioka ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''A Cold Day in Hell's Kitchen'' ** Note: Tells the Hand members to kill Daredevil. Later kicked off a roof by Daredevil and decapitated by Stick. Spoken in Japanese. * '''Cottonmouth always lookin' down at me at the bar. He's gonna know I'm gone. They gonna know it was a inside job.''' ** Who: Dante Chapman ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''Moment of Truth'' ** Note: Shot by Shameek Smith after he voices his concerns over betraying Cottonmouth. * '''Hey, hey, no&ndash;''' ** Who: Shameek Smith ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''Moment of Truth'' ** Note: Smith worked at Harlem's Paradise when he decided to betray his boss, Cottonmouth, and steal his money. However he was soon found and beaten to death by Cottonmouth. * '''Luke... forward... always... always... f-f-forward... forward... always forward...''' ** Who: Pop ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''Code of the Streets'' ** Notes: Repeats his mantra to Luke before dying of gunshot wounds sustained in a drive-by shooting. * '''Hey, hey, hey!''' ** Who: Tone ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''Code of the Streets'' ** Notes: Manages a few surprised grunts before Cottonmouth throws him off the roof of a building for killing Pop. * '''Luke Cage, I... I don't even&ndash;''' ** Who: Chico Diaz ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''Who's Gonna Take the Weight?'' ** Notes: Telling Rafael Scarfe about Luke's raiding of Cottonmouth's safehouses and his willingness to testify against him. Scarfe, actually on Stokes' payroll, proceeds to strangle Chico with his tie. * '''Yeah, you gonna stop me?''' ** Who: Albert Rackham ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''Step in the Arena'' ** Notes: Attempting to destroy Noah Burstein's experiment on Luke Cage when the machine Cage is in explodes. * '''Maybe if we just leave that Luke Cage cat alone, give him his side of the street, we take ours.''' ** Who: Koko ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''Just to Get a Rep'' ** Notes: Attempting to reason with Cottonmouth before being shot. * '''I'm sorry.''' ** Who: Rafael Scarfe ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''Suckas Need Bodyguards'' ** Note: Apologising to Misty Knight for being a double agent for Cottonmouth before bleeding out from a gunshot wound inflicted by Cottonmouth. * '''Every time&ndash;''' ** Who: Pistol Pete ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''Manifest'' ** Note: Pleading with a young Cornell Stokes to spare his life before Cornell is forced to shoot him. * '''Running around half-naked all the time. You wanted it, Mariah. You wanted it and you know it.''' ** Who: Cottonmouth ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''Manifest'' ** Notes: After needling his cousin, Mariah Dillard, with the suggestion that she deliberately invited their uncle to sexually molest her as a child, she hits him with a wine bottle, pushes him out a window, and beats him to death with a microphone stand. * '''Why are you telling me all this?''' ''(Diamondback: "Because you're about to meet my mother, Damon. Tell her I love her.")'' ** Who: Damon Boone ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''Now You're Mine'' ** Notes: In response to Diamondback telling him his life story before being killed with a superpowered punch. * '''I'm my own man, Shades.''' ** Who: Zip ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''Soliloquy of Chaos'' * '''Something I've never seen before. Even you can't stop him.''' ** Who: Domingo Colon ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''Soliloquy of Chaos'' * '''Where are you, Misty?''' ** Who: Candace Miller ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''You Know My Steez'' ** Notes: Said while waiting for Misty Knight to arrive so she can disclose information about Mariah killing Cottonmouth. However, because Shades stole the phone Misty was using to communicate with Candace, he is able to track her down and kill her. * '''We've got you, Danny.''' ** Who: Heather Rand ** Source: ''[[Iron Fist (TV series)|Iron Fist]]'' &ndash; ''Snow Gives Way'' ** Note: Said before being sucked out of a damaged jet plane. * '''I love you, Danny.''' ** Who: Wendell Rand ** Source: ''[[Iron Fist (TV series)|Iron Fist]]'' &ndash; ''Snow Gives Way'' ** Note: Character's last spoken words before dying in a plane crash. * '''He punched through solid metal with his bare hands.''' ''(Madame Gao: "His hands? Are you sure it wasn't his fist?")'' '''I... I guess.''' ** Who: King ** Source: ''[[Iron Fist (TV series)|Iron Fist]]'' &ndash; ''Under Leaf Pluck Lotus'' ** Note: Regarding Danny escaping a Hand truck with one of their chemists in tow; Gao runs her staff through King's head and has him decapitated as punishment. * '''Anzhou...''' ** Who: Radovan Bernivig ** Source: ''[[Iron Fist (TV series)|Iron Fist]]'' &ndash; ''Felling Tree with Roots'' * '''It's just... it's just ice cream.''' ** Who: Kyle ** Source: ''[[Iron Fist (TV series)|Iron Fist]]'' &ndash; ''The Mistress of All Agonies'' ** Note: Attempting to reason with a crazed Harold Meachum over asking him for vanilla ice cream before Harold beats him to death. * '''I don't care.''' ** Who: Lawrence Wilkins ** Source: ''[[Iron Fist (TV series)|Iron Fist]]'' &ndash; ''Black Tiger Steals Heart'' * '''Finish me off. Come on, finish me off.''' ** Who: Harold Meachum ** Source: ''[[Iron Fist (TV series)|Iron Fist]]'' &ndash; ''Dragon Plays with Fire'' ** Note: Saying this before being killed by his own son while fighting against Danny. * '''You can't have this.''' ** Who: John Raymond ** Source: ''[[The Defenders (TV series)|The Defenders]]'' &ndash; ''Mean Right Hook'' ** Note: Saying these words before shooting himself before Elektra can kill him. * '''Let's not kid each other. This is personal for every one of us. But now I have the Iron Fist. The key to what the Hand seeks. The key to life, to our salvation. The war is over.''' ** Who: Sowande ** Source: ''[[The Defenders (TV series)|The Defenders]]'' &ndash; ''Take Shelter'' * '''You can't have him, girl.''' ** Who: Stick ** Source: ''[[The Defenders (TV series)|The Defenders]]'' &ndash; ''Ashes, Ashes'' ** Note: Stabbed and killed while trying to prevent Elektra from taking Danny Rand. * '''I'm so happy you're all on board with the plan. But let me remind you, I neutralized our enemies. I brought you the Iron Fist. I was able to keep the most important operation in our history running while you succumbed to chaos and conflict. I have proven myself to be the one, and only, true leader&ndash;''' ** Who: Alexandra Reid ** Source: ''[[The Defenders (TV series)|The Defenders]]'' &ndash; ''Ashes, Ashes'' ** Note: Betrayed and killed by Elektra while making a speech to the other Hand leaders. * '''Is this your family now, hmm? Well, let me remind you who you really are by taking that away!''' ** Who: Bakuto ** Source: ''[[The Defenders (TV series)|The Defenders]]'' &ndash; ''The Defenders'' ** Note: Addressing Colleen Wing before being beheaded by her. * '''Gao... what is happening?''' ** Who: Murakami ** Source: ''[[The Defenders (TV series)|The Defenders]]'' &ndash; ''The Defenders'' ** Note: Spoken in Japanese, before the Midland Circle building collapses on top of him. Fate left ambiguous. * '''The end.''' ** Who: Madame Gao ** Source: ''[[The Defenders (TV series)|The Defenders]]'' &ndash; ''The Defenders'' ** Note: Answering Murakami's question before the Midland Circle building collapses on top of them. Fate left ambiguous. * '''No. This is what living is like.''' ** Who: Elektra ** Source: ''[[The Defenders (TV series)|The Defenders]]'' &ndash; ''The Defenders'' ** Note: Said to Matt Murdock before the Midland Circle building collapses on top of them. Fate left ambiguous. * '''Look after her.''' ** Who: Nuke ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA Freak Accident'' ** Note: Asking Jessica to protect Trish before being killed by Alisa Jones. * '''You attacked me! You attacked me in my home! Self-defence!''' ** Who: Dale Holiday ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA Pork Chop'' ** Note: Trying to frame Jessica before she strikes him in the head, killing him instantly. * '''You're right. This is all I can create. This is useless.''' ''(Jessica: "Karl, don't.")'' '''Useless as the man who built it. This is where it ends. It has to be destroyed.''' ''(Jessica: "Stop it.")'' '''Tell your mother, I'm sorry.''' ''(Jessica: "No.")'' '''Run!''' ** Who: Karl Malus ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA Three Lives and Counting'' ** Note: Character, the founder of IGH, is overcome with remorse about what he has done. He tells Jessica to run before causing an explosion, destroying the building with him inside. * '''Take the shot.''' ** Who: Ruth Sunday ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA Pray for My Patsy'' * '''Maybe I don't have to be amazing. Maybe I just made you.''' ** Who: Alisa Jones ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA Playland.'' ** Note: Character is shot in the head by Trish Walker after saying this. * '''Sit your ass down. You on time out.''' ** Who: Cockroach ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''All Souled Out'' * '''You can't kill Luke Cage. Nobody can kill Luke Cage.''' ** Who: Piranha Jones ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''On and On'' ** Note: Last on-screen words before being decapitated by Bushmaster. * '''You don't have to do this. Darius, I can cut you both a deal. Your name is Hernan, right? He told me what you saw. Cottonmouth. You testify against Mariah, I'll make sure you get the same deal. Immunity, time served.''' ** Who: Tom Ridenhour ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''On and On'' ** Note: Character, a police chief, tries to cut a deal with Shades and Comanche, but Comanche shoots him dead. * '''I... I was gonna get us both out. Like he said.''' ''(Shades: "I didn't want out. It was gonna be different this time.")'' '''I know.''' ''(Shades: "You remember that time? Coney Island? When we stole them hot dogs.")'' '''Almost got away with it, too.''' ''(Shades: "Your mama beat your ass. Why didn't you tell her it was my idea?")'' '''You my nigga. Always.''' ''(Shades: "Always. Because I love you I was blinded by that shit. I didn't see the snitch in you. What the hell does that say about me?")'' ** Who: Comanche ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''On and On'' ** Note: Said after being shot by Shades to create a false narrative surrounding Ridenhour's death, clearing Shades of involvement. * '''Ms. Dillard, please.''' ''(Mariah: "The name is Stokes. Mariah Stokes.")'' '''No.''' ** Who: Stephanie Miller ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''The Main Ingredient'' * '''Me gonna haunt you 'til the end of your days! You can eat, but you won't taste! You can sleep, but you won't rest! Everything you love, you gon lose! You hear me?''' ''(Mariah lights Anansi on fire)'' '''You hear me? You hear me?''' ** Who: Anansi ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''The Main Ingredient'' ** Note: Said while being burned alive by Mariah. * '''Look, she's dangerous. Even if she doesn't mean to be.''' ** Who: Alex Wesley ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''They Reminisce Over You (T.R.O.Y.)'' * '''You can save me?''' ''(Luke Cage: "Nah, I've done all the saving I can do, but I will keep you company.")'' '''I can't... It burns...''' ''(Luke Cage: "Good.")'' '''We ain't done yet, Luke.''' ** Who: Black Mariah ** Source: ''[[Luke Cage (TV series)|Luke Cage]]'' &ndash; ''They Reminisce Over You (T.R.O.Y.)'' ** Note: Her daughter used a slow-acting poison on her in an earlier scene. Later, she says these words to Luke Cage before succumbing to the poison. * '''Hancock... two... one... two...''' ''(Danny: "I... I can't understand.")'' '''Han...cock... two... one... two...''' ** Who: Hai-Qing Yang ** Source: ''[[Iron Fist (TV series)|Iron Fist]]'' &ndash; ''Target: Iron Fist'' ** Notes: Last words before dying of a stroke off-screen. * '''I've never been part of any Tigers or&ndash;''' ** Who: Henry Yip ** Source: ''[[Iron Fist (TV series)|Iron Fist]]'' &ndash; ''Citadel on the Edge of Vengeance'' * '''We're out. BB was right. This... this is some messed-up shit.''' ** Who: Ryhno ** Source: ''[[Iron Fist (TV series)|Iron Fist]]'' &ndash; ''Citadel on the Edge of Vengeance'' * '''I give you credit. Most people in your position, they'd be more the beg-for-your-life type.''' ** Who: Chen Wu ** Source: ''[[Iron Fist (TV series)|Iron Fist]]'' &ndash; ''War Without End'' * '''Now, I know Ryhno wasn't the sharpest dude, but he had our back when no one else did. And now he's dead. And for what? For what? Crank, man, whatever your Shifu says, this isn't our fight. We get out of this now, we still got choices. A future. We stay in. This neighborhood doesn't need martyrs, it needs leaders.''' ''(Crank: "When you're right, you're right. Chinatown does need leaders.")'' '''For real, bro.''' ** Who: BB ** Source: ''[[Iron Fist (TV series)|Iron Fist]]'' &ndash; ''War Without End'' ** Note: Trying to convince his friends to stop working with Davis when he is killed by one of them. * '''What the hell's going on?''' ** Who: Jasper Evans ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''The Devil You Know'' ** Note: Character had a key involvement in Wilson Fisk's crimes and was about to confess to the New York Bulletin. Fisk sent Dex to the Bulletin to kill him with a shot to the head before he could incriminate Fisk. * '''Hey, did the landlord let you in?''' ** Who: Julie Barnes ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''Upstairs/Downstairs'' ** Note: Character is killed by Fisk's goons in order to manipulate Dex. * '''Matthew... Matthew, please forgive us.''' ** Who: Paul Lantom ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''Karen'' ** Note: Sacrifices himself to save Karen's life. * '''I'm not going anywhere with you, Dex. Whatever you need to do, you do it here.''' ** Who: Ray Nadeem ** Source: ''[[Daredevil (TV series)|Daredevil]]'' &ndash; ''One Last Shot'' ** Note: Shot by Dex after attempting to expose Fisk. * '''Kith... Laurent... I'm so... I'm so sorry...''' ** Who: Peter Lyonne ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA I Wish'' ** Note: Said while bleeding out after cutting himself to commit suicide. * '''I will start drawing up new costume ideas for you.''' ** Who: Dorothy Walker ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA Camera Friendly'' ** Notes: Last words before being murdered off-screen. * ''(Trish: "Those pictures. What did you need to see?")'' '''Her truth. And now I see yours, and so will Jessica.''' ** Who: Foolkiller ** Source: ''[[Jessica Jones (TV series)|Jessica Jones]]'' &ndash; ''AKA A Lotta Worms'' ** Note: Killed by Trish after taunting her to avenger Dorothy's murder. ==== ''The Punisher'' ==== * '''No, no, no, no. I told you. What are you gonna do?''' ''(Castle: "I'm gonna find a home for this.")'' '''No!''' ** Who: Lance ** Source: ''3 AM'' ** Note: Lance and their group of friends were attempting to drown someone in cement. Frank Castle intervened and killed them all; Lance survived long enough to beg Frank for his life, before Frank killed him with a sledgehammer. * '''We thought you were the one that sent him the tape. Now close your eyes, Frank. I'm gonna do you a favor. You're gonna see your family real soon.''' ''(Castle stares at him)'' '''No? Suit yourself.''' ** Who: Carson Wolf ** Source: ''Two Dead Men'' ** Note: Frank invades Wolf's home and the two fight. Wolf says this while he has Frank in a headlock, but Frank then breaks out and kills him. * '''Please. I'm not a terrorist. I have a family. I &ndash; I have a family.''' ** Who: Ahmad Zubair ** Source: ''Kandahar'' ** Note: Spoken in Pashto. Shot in the head by Frank on the orders of William Rawlins. * '''Just bury me. Promise me you'll bury me, okay?''' ** Who: Gunner Henderson ** Source: ''Gunner'' ** Note: Frank reunites with Gunner when FBI agents invade the latter's home. Gunner is shot before dying offscreen. * '''Get the hell out of my house.''' ** Who: O'Connor ** Source: ''The Judas Goat'' ** Note: Killed by Lewis Wilson after he realised O'Connor had been lying about his army service to manipulate shellshocked veterans. * '''Look, there's no need. I'm leaving anyway. Tomorrow, I'll be gone.''' ** Who: Morty Bennett ** Source: ''Crosshairs'' * '''Move an inch, asshole, and I will gladly shoot you in the goddamn face.''' ** Who: Sam Stein ** Source: ''Cold Steel'' ** Note: Killed by Billy Russo in a standoff after a Homeland Security raid. * '''Who is it?''' ''(Lewis: "New York Bulletin.")'' '''I don't need a subscription.''' ** Who: Isaac Lange ** Source: ''Virtue of the Vicious'' ** Note: Shot in the head by Lewis through the peephole of his door. * '''"Like a soldier. Go, go, go like a soldier."''' ** Who: Lewis Wilson ** Source: ''Virtue of the Vicious'' ** Note: Recalls his mantra from when he was in the army while setting up a bomb vest out of remorse for the failure of his terrorism plan. Killed when he detonates the bomb, encouraged by Frank. * '''You're a dead man, your heart just doesn't know it yet.''' ** Who: Agent Orange ** Source: ''Home'' ** Note: Torturing Frank Castle before Frank, assisted by Billy Russo, breaks free and kills him in a long fight. * '''I... I don't even know what that mean&ndash;''' ** Who: Sergei Konchevsky ** Source: ''Roadhouse Blues'' ** Note: Shot by John Pilgrim during torture after Pilgrim successfully finds the location of photographs that Konchevsky ordered. * '''Back door, this corridor leads to the bull&ndash;''' ** Who: Marlena Olin ** Source: ''Trouble the Water'' * '''You ready?''' ** Who: The Russian ** Source: ''One-Eyed Jacks'' * '''Wait. Why are you asking him? This jigsaw-faced bastard almost got us busted. This whole thing went sideways 'cause you lost your shit.''' ** Who: Bobby ** Source: ''My Brother's Keeper'' ** Note: Stands up to Billy Russo after a plan to make money went south due to Russo hesitating when he recognised Frank at the scene. Shot by Russo immediately after. * '''Of course it's you. I should have known. If I'm gonna be with somebody, I'm... I'm happy that it's you. Frank, whatever I've done, I'm s&ndash;''' ** Who: Jigsaw ** Source: ''The Whirlwind'' ** Note: Shot three times by Dinah Madani. After having his money stolen and unable to find medical help, he calls Curtis Hoyle to be with him so he won't die alone. Curtis instead sends Frank, who promptly kills Russo. * '''What do you want? Money? We can do that.''' ** Who: Eliza Schultz ** Source: ''The Whirlwind'' ** Note: Attempts to bribe Amy while being held at gunpoint by her. When she makes a move to attack Amy, she is shot in the back of the head by Frank. * '''John said you were dead.''' ** Who: Anderson Schultz ** Source: ''The Whirlwind'' ** Note: In disbelief over seeing Frank and Amy alive. Later kills himself over seeing his wife die and the guilt of all the others he has killed. === Hulu === ==== ''Runaways'' ==== * '''Help me.''' ** Who: Destiny Gonzalez ** Source: ''Rewind'' * '''Is it... medicine?''' ** Who: Andre Compton ** Source: ''Kingdom'' * '''Come on, faster!''' ** Who: Amy Minoru ** Source: ''Tsunami'' * '''Alice?''' ** Who: Gene Hernandez ** Source: ''Doomsday'' * '''Molly!''' ** Who: Alice Hernandez ** Source: ''Doomsday'' * '''You want me to shoot you, too?''' ** Who: Graciela Aguirre ** Source: ''Gimmie Shelter'' * '''I only gave up Alex because I thought he'd be better with his family.''' ''(Catherine: "You're gonna do one more thing for him.")'' '''Yeah, what's that?''' ''(Catherine: "Same as you did for his father. Take the rap for his murder charge.")'' ** Who: Darius Davis ** Source: ''Double Zeros'' * '''Where am I? Why are you crying?''' ''(Karolina : "Dad. Dad, it's me. It's your daughter Karolina.")'' '''Who are you?''' ** Who: Jonah ** Source: ''Last Rites'' * '''You think this is the answer?''' ** Who: Detective Flores ** Source: ''Big Shot'' * '''Yes, I am a lawyer, and I do have power. Connections. Money. Whatever it is you need, I can get. So, trust me, you do not want to do this.''' ** Who: Catherine Wilder ** Source: ''Lord of Lies'' * '''I'll tell you what. I'll let you win. But you've gotta look right at me, so you can see the light go out in dear old dad's eyes.''' ** Who: The Magistrate ** Source: ''Rite of Thunder'' ** Note: Fate left ambiguous. * '''Those are cute little knives, but you don't stand a chance fighting me alone.''' ** Who: The Magistrate's Wife ** Source: ''Rite of Thunder'' ** Note: Fate left ambiguous. * '''I said I'd play. Didn't say fair.''' ** Who: The Magistrate's Daughter ** Source: ''Rite of Thunder'' ** Note: Fate left ambiguous. * '''Father, what's happened?''' ** Who: The Magistrate's Son ** Source: ''Rite of Thunder'' ** Note: Fate left ambiguous. * '''She is... the brightest star in the universe. Guard her with your life.''' ** Who: Robert Minoru ** Source: ''Left-Hand Path'' ** Note: Spoken in Japanese. * '''Well, look what we have here. So many loved ones all in one place. Thank you for making it easy. I promise, this will be painful.''' ''(Alex stabs her)'' '''No.''' ** Who: Bronwyn ** Source: ''The Broken Circle'' * '''Chase... you're... always so...''' ** Who: Gert Yorkes ** Source: ''The Broken Circle'' ** Notes: Character dies a timeline that is averted during ''Cheat The Gallows'' * ''(Morgan le Fey: "What's happened? A shielding spell?")'' '''It's Nico! From up here.''' ** Who: "Evil Alex" ** Source: ''Cheat The Gallows'' ** Note: As a result of averting Gert's death, the Alex Wilder of 2028 is erased from history as the timelines change. * '''We did it.''' ** Who: "Future Chase" ** Source: ''Cheat The Gallows'' * '''He saved her. I got my sister back. It's like the best feeling ever.''' ** Who: Molly Hernandez ** Source: ''Cheat The Gallows'' ** Note: As a result of averting Gert's death, the Molly Hernandez of 2021 is erased from history as the timelines change. * ''(Nico: "Before we go, Karolina, I have to say it.")'' '''Don't. Just... promise me you'll find me. Wherever we are.''' ** Who: Karolina Dean ** Source: ''Cheat The Gallows'' ** Note: As a result of averting Gert's death, the Karolina Dean of 2021 is erased from history as the timelines change. * '''I will.''' ** Who: Nico Minoru ** Source: ''Cheat The Gallows'' ** Note: As a result of averting Gert's death, the Nico Minoru of 2021 is erased from history as the timelines change. ==== ''Helstrom'' ==== * '''What are you?''' ** Who: Aubree Richards ** Source: ''The One Who Got Away'' * '''Spivey!''' ** Who: Ellis ** Source: ''Leviathan'' * '''Keeper!''' ** Who: Basar ** Source: ''Hell Storm'' * '''Born in blood?''' ** Who: Raum ** Source: ''Hell Storm'' * '''We already won.''' ** Who: Magoth ** Source: ''Hell Storm'' === Freeform === ==== ''Cloak & Dagger'' ==== * '''With all due respect, sir, I think it's time that we call in the government.''' ''(pause)'' '''Are&ndash;''' ** Who: Nathan Bowen ** Source: ''First Light'' ** Note: Killed in a car crash after the Roxxon rig explosion. * ''(Connors: "Freeze! Where's the other one?")'' '''He didn't do nothing! We were just taking this back. I swear!''' ** Who: Billy Johnson ** Source: ''First Light'' ** Note: Shot by Connors when he mistakes the Roxxon rig explosion for Billy attacking. * '''You want leftovers?''' ''(Tandy: "No, why don't we take 'em to the office? We'll be hungry tomorrow.")'' '''Yeah.''' ** Who: Greg Pressfield ** Source: ''Call/Response'' ** Notes: Last words on screen before being assassinated by the Roxxon Corporation, with his assassination being witnessed by Tandy from a distress, and his real last words being unheard. * '''Use what you got, right?''' ** Who: Duane Porter ** Source: ''Funhouse Mirrors'' ** Note: Fatally shot. * '''Pancakes tomorrow?''' ''(O'Reilly: "And what about the day after?")'' '''I can do that too.''' ** Who: Kenneth Fuchs ** Source: ''Ghost Stories'' ** Note: Last words before being murdered by Connors off-screen. * '''It's in our annex building 616, by the waterfront.''' * '''I want to be God.''' ** Who: Peter Scarborough ** Source: ''Colony Collapse'' ** Note: First line said in the real world. Second line said in fantasy. Fate left ambiguous. * '''This is just another step in my journey.''' ** Who: Chantelle Fusilier ** Source: ''Vikingtown Sound'' ** Note: Is seemingly killed by Andre before visiting her daughter, Evita, as a ghost. * '''I'm saying you get to drive.''' ** Who: Brigid O'Reilly ** Source: ''Two Player'' ** Notes: Last words before fusing with Mayhem, who becomes the dormant personality. * '''Thank you.''' ** Who: James Connors ** Source: ''Two Player'' ** Note: Shot by Adina Johnson as revenge for Billy's murder. * '''What are you looking for?''' ** Who: D'Spayre ** Source: ''Level Up'' ** Note: Fate left ambiguous. === Disney+ === ==== ''[[WandaVision]]'' ==== * '''But a silly mischief that always becomes fine.''' * '''Okay, Papa, start it for us.''' ** Who: Oleg and Iryna Maximoff ** Episode: ''Previously On'' ** Note: Saying this while watching one of the sitcoms on tape played by Wanda before a missile explodes their home, killing the couple. * '''So long, darling.''' ** Who: "Westview Vision" ** Episode: ''The Series Finale'' ** Note: Wanda's constructed Vision in the Hex says this before he fades from existence. ==== ''[[The Falcon and the Winter Soldier]]'' ==== * ''(Sam: "Where's Karli now?")'' '''I don't know where she is. But a couple of days ago, she called and asked if I could help someone named Donya Madani. Poor woman has tuberculosis. Typical of overpopulation in displacement camps like that.''' ''(Sam: "Well, what happened to her?")'' '''Not my pig. Not my farm.''' ''(Bucky: "Is there any serum in this lab?")'' '''No.''' ** Who: Wilfred Nagel **Episode: ''Power Broker'' ** Note: While being interrogated by Sam and Bucky, Nagel is shot by Zemo and killed instantly. * '''But, God, imagine how many lives we could have saved that day if we had that serum.''' ** Who: Battlestar **Episode: ''The Whole World Is Watching'' ** Note: His last words on-screen, said in a conversation with John Walker, the new Captain America, which leads Walker to take the super-soldier serum. Battlestar is subsequently killed after tackling Karli Morgenthau, who punches Battlestar with enough force to cave his ribcage in, and send him flying into a concrete pillar. * '''It wasn't me! It wasn't me!''' ** Who: Nico **Episode: ''The Whole World Is Watching'' ** Note: A member of the Flag-Smashers, Nico is pinned down by John Walker, who, enraged by Battlestar's death at Karli Morgenthau's hand, mercilessly kills Nico with his shield in front of horrified witnesses. * '''Let's go, get moving.''' ** Who: Dovich **Episode: ''One World, One People'' ** Note: His last words on-screen, before he is killed in a car explosion orchestrated by Baron Zemo and his butler. * '''Maintenant, Power Broker... vous me paierez quatre fois ce que vous aviez dit que vous le feriez. Four times, or je vais dire au monde entier qui tu es. Okay?''' **Translation: '''Now, Power Broker... you will pay me four times what you said you would. Four times, or I'll tell the whole world who you are. Okay?''' ** Who: Batroc the Leaper **Episode: ''One World, One People'' ** Note: His last words while threatening the Power Broker, Sharon Carter, before she kills him to keep her identity a secret. * '''I'm sorry.''' ** Who: Flag-Smasher **Episode: ''One World, One People'' ** Note: Her last words to the new Captain America, Sam Wilson, after being shot by Sharon Carter. ==== ''[[Loki (TV series)|Loki]]'' ==== * '''Glorious purpose!''' ** Who: "Classic Loki" ** Episode: ''Journey Into Mystery'' ** Note: Sacrificed himself distracting Alioth to help Loki Variant L1130 and Sylvie enchant it. * '''See you soon.''' ** Who: He Who Remains ** Episode: ''For All Time. Always'' ** Note: Said after getting stabbed by Sylvie. * '''How does it feel knowing that all of us here would rather die than follow you out that door? Hmm?''' ** Who: General Dox ** Episode: ''Heart of the TVA'' ** Note: Crushed to death alongside the rest of her loyalists by Miss Minutes after refusing to join Ravonna Renslayer. * '''You'll never be him.''' ** Who: Miss Minutes ** Episode: ''Heart of the TVA'' ** Note: Rebooted when O.B. reboots the TVA's defence system, effectively killing the original Miss Minutes. * '''What is going on?''' ** Who: Ravonna Renslayer ** Episode: ''Heart of the TVA'' ** Note: Pruned into the Void by Sylvie, where she is later attacked by Alioth and presumably eaten. * '''Here we go.''' ** Who: Victor Timely ** Episode: ''Heart of the TVA'' ** Note: Spaghettified by the Time Loom's excess radiation, though his death is eventually undone when Loki masters his time-slipping to perfect the repairing of the Time Loom. * '''Great. But I still didn't take it.''' ** Who: [[w:June 1962 Alcatraz escape attempt#Frank Morris|Frank Lee Morris]] ** Episode: ''Science/Fiction'' ** Note: Erased as a result of the timelines breaking down, though Loki is able to undo his spaghettification by mastering his time-slipping. * '''It was a fiction problem.''' ** Who: A.D. Doug ** Episode: ''Science/Fiction'' ** Note: Erased as a result of the timelines breaking down, though Loki is able to undo his spaghettification by mastering his time-slipping. * '''No, no. I have to go back to see my boys. I...''' ** Who: Don ** Episode: ''Science/Fiction'' ** Note: Erased as a result of the timelines breaking down, though Loki is able to undo his spaghettification by mastering his time-slipping. * '''Is this it? We...''' ** Who: Verity Willis ** Episode: ''Science/Fiction'' ** Note: Erased as a result of the timelines breaking down, though Loki is able to undo her spaghettification by mastering his time-slipping. * '''There's nowhere left to go.''' ** Who: Sylvie ** Episode: ''Science/Fiction'' ** Note: Erased as a result of the timelines breaking down, though Loki is able to undo her spaghettification by mastering his time-slipping. ==== ''[[Hawkeye (2021 TV series)|Hawkeye]]'' ==== * '''I'll be downstairs in my office.''' ** Who: Derek Bishop ** Source: ''Never Meet Your Heroes'' ** Note: Last words before being killed in the Battle of New York. * '''Do you know who I am?''' ** Who: Armand Duquesne III ** Source: ''Never Meet Your Heroes'' ** Note: His last onscreen words before he is murdered in his home by Eleanor Bishop. * '''I'm already gone. Fly away from here... Little Dragon.''' ** Who: William Lopez ** Source: ''Echoes'' ** Note: Killed by Clint Barton as Ronin. Said in American Sign Language. * '''Excuse me.''' ** Who: Yelena Belova ** Source: ''Ronin'' ** Note: In 2018, after excusing herself to go to the bathroom in Ana's house, Yelena is killed by Thanos' snap. She is revived in 2023 by Professor Hulk with the Nano Gauntlet. * '''Leave, Maya. He's coming for you.''' ** Who: Kazi the Clown ** Source: ''So This Is Christmas?'' ** Note: Killed by Maya Lopez. ==== ''[[Moon Knight (TV series)|Moon Knight]]'' ==== * '''You all right, love?''' ''(Layla: "Can he hear me?")'' '''Alexander? I don't think so. God, I hope not.''' ''(Layla: "What happened to my father? I'm talking to you.")'' '''What?''' ''(Layla: "I'm talking to you, Marc!")'' ** Who: Steven Grant ** Source: ''The Tomb'' ** Note: Steven says these words before Marc takes control of the body. After this, Marc is shot by Harrow, killing both him and Steven. He is later revived when he and Marc escape the Duat through the Gates of Osiris after Khonshu is freed. * ''(Harrow: "Right now, you have a very important decision to make.")'' '''Okay.''' ** Who: Marc Spector ** Source: ''The Tomb'' ** Note: Marc says these words before attacking Harrow's men, causing Harrow to shoot Marc twice, killing him. He is later revived when he and Steven escape the Duat through the Gates of Osiris after Khonshu is freed. * '''Help! Mommy!''' ** Who: Randall Spector ** Source: ''Asylum'' ** Note: Says these words before drowning offscreen. * '''You can never contain me. I'll never stop.''' ** Who: Ammit ** Source: ''Gods and Monsters'' ** Note: Said by Ammit from within Arthur Harrow after being trapped in him. She is killed alongside Harrow after getting shot multiple times by Jake Lockley. * '''Wait.''' ** Who: Arthur Harrow ** Source: ''Gods and Monsters'' ** Note: Arthur says this to Jake Lockley, who shoots him dead with a silenced pistol. ==== ''[[Ms. Marvel (TV series)|Ms. Marvel]]'' ==== * '''Get yourself to safety. I'll lead them off.''' ** Who: Waleed ** Source: ''Seeing Red'' ** Note: Last words before being killed by Clandestines. * '''It's okay... she's okay... 'cause you're here...''' ** Who: Aisha ** Source: ''Time and Again'' ** Note: Said to Kamala Khan after she travelled back in time and saved Aisha's daughter. Bleeds out shortly afterward. * '''Kamran...''' ** Who: Najma ** Source: ''Time and Again'' ** Note: Said while sacrificing herself to close the Veil, saving the world. ==== ''[[Secret Invasion (miniseries)|Secret Invasion]]'' ==== * ''(Talos: "Her last words? '''Find Gi'ah.'''")'' ** Who: Soren ** Source: ''Resurrection'' ** Note: Killed by Gravik off-screen. Talos confirms her last words to her daughter in an attempt to persuade her into abandoning Gravik's extremist Skrull sect. * '''It... was... you...''' ** Who: Maria Hill ** Source: ''Resurrection'' ** Note: Shot in the stomach by Gravik with a pistol, under the guise of Nick Fury. * '''I've got this. Stand back, man.''' ** Who: Talos ** Source: ''Beloved'' * '''Explain it to us! You told me Fury hid the Avengers' DNA, but it wasn't in ''any'' of the locations you provided. No, Fury never trusted you, and it makes me start to wonder why should we&ndash;''' ** Who: Pagon ** Source: ''Harvest'' * '''You're nothing but a monster.''' ** Who: Beto ** Source: ''Harvest'' * '''Mr. President, listen to me&ndash;''' ** Who: Raava ** Source: ''Home'' * '''You're just like your father. Just like them.''' ** Who: Gravik ** Source: ''Home'' ==== ''[[Echo (miniseries)|Echo]]'' ==== * '''Sorry, lovebug, we're out. But I'll go to the store. Come with me and help me choose.''' ** Who: Taloa Lopez ** Source: ''Chafa'' ** Note: Said to her daughter, Maya, in American Sign Language. Dies in a car crash when one of William's enemies cuts her car's brakes. * '''No. Oh, no, no, no. No.''' ** Who: Vickie ** Source: ''Tuklo'' ** Note: Shot by Zane. * '''Wait, what?''' ** Who: Zane ** Source: ''Maya'' ** Note: Shot by Henry. ==== ''[[Agatha All Along]]'' ==== * '''Wanda, I'm begging you. Let him breathe... Please...''' ** Who: Sharon Davis ** Source: ''Through Many Miles / Of Tricks and Trials'' ** Note: Hallucinates a flashback to the events of ''WandaVision'' just before succumbing to a deadly poison. * '''Leave her alone!''' ** Who: Alice Wu-Gulliver ** Source: ''Darkest Hour / Wake Thy Power'' ** Note: Killed by Agatha. * '''Mom, look out!''' ** Who: William Kaplan ** Source: ''Familiar by Thy Side'' ** Note: Dies in a car crash. The spirit of Billy Maximoff then takes over his body. * '''You may not know this about the Road, but when you successfully complete a trial - as I just did - it's not a good idea to overstay your welcome. Usually, something terrible happens. Disaster, destruction, sudden upheaval. Like the Tower, upright.''' ** Who: Lilia Calderu ** Source: ''Death's Hand in Mine'' ** Note: Sacrifices herself to kill the Salem Seven by flipping the Tower tarot card, which actually flips the tower they are in and impales them all on the swords in the ceiling. * '''What can I say? I'm a covenless witch.''' ** Who: Agatha Harkness ** Source: ''Follow Me My Friend / To Glory at the End'' ** Note: Gives herself up to Death to protect Billy Maximoff. Later comes back as a ghost. ====''[[Daredevil: Born Again]]''==== * '''I don't know what he's talking about. He said someone's looking for&ndash;''' ** Who: Foggy Nelson ** Source: ''Heaven's Half Hour'' ** Note: Shot through the chest by Bullseye, and dies on the ground from blood loss before paramedics can arrive. * '''Thanks.''' ** Who: White Tiger ** Source: ''The Hollow of His Hand'' ** Note: Last words on-screen before being assassinated by Cole North. * '''No. No, not yet.''' ** Who: Muse ** Source: ''Art for Art's Sake'' ** Note: Shot by Heather. * '''That's up to you.''' ** Who: Luca ** Source: ''Art for Art's Sake'' ** Note: Last words on-screen, spoken to Vanessa. Later assassinated by Buck Cashman. * '''Please, Vaness&ndash;''' ** Who: Adam ** Source: ''Isle of Joy'' ** Note: Shot by Vanessa Fisk. * '''Yeah, I was right. You... never stopped being Kingpin. You can't.''' ** Who: Phil Gallo ** Source: ''Straight to Hell'' ** Note: Head crushed by Wilson Fisk * '''Can you tell me the story... can you tell me the story of how... we...''' ** Who: Vanessa Fisk ** Source: ''The Grand Design'' * '''What is following his orders gonna do for you? How long 'til you're on the floor... with a gun pointed at your head?''' ** Who: Daniel Blake ** Source: ''The Hateful Darkness'' ** Note: Shot by Buck Cashman after refusing to hand over BB Urich. ====''[[Ironheart (miniseries)|Ironheart]]''==== * '''Okay.''' ** Who: John King ** Source: ''We in Danger, Girl'' * '''I love you, Ri.''' ** Who: N.A.T.A.L.I.E. ** Source: ''Karma's a Glitch'' == Animated television == ==== ''[[What If...?]]'' ==== * '''You are too late, Captain Carter. I have summoned the champion of H&ndash;''' ** Who: Red Skull ** Episode: ''What If... Captain Carter Were The First Avenger?'' ** Note: Saying these words to Peggy Carter after using the Tesseract to summon an octopus-like interdimensional monster to be the "champion of Hydra", only for the creature to crush Skull with its tentacles, killing him. * '''Fury, it's Hope! It's all about Hope!''' ** Who: Black Widow ** Episode: ''What If... The World Lost Its Mightiest Heroes?'' ** Note: Saying these words before she is murdered by Yellowjacket, but not before she contacts Fury and gives him the clue for the issuing murders of the candidates of the Avengers Initiative. * '''Stephen, what did you do?''' ** Who: Christine Palmer ** Episode: ''What If... Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?'' ** Note: After Strange Supreme revives Christine, the universe collapses, and Christine disappears. * '''Peter! Smile. Smile for me, okay?''' ** Who: Wasp ** Episode: ''What If... Zombies!?'' ** Note: After getting infected by a zombified Sharon Carter, Wasp sacrifices herself to get the remaining survivors to Camp Lehigh. She says these words before she succumbs to the infection. * '''Baba Yaga!''' ** Who: Kurt ** Episode: ''What If... Zombies!?'' ** Note: He says these words before he is pulled in and killed by a zombified Scarlet Witch. * '''My king. Wakanda forever.''' ** Who: Okoye ** Episode: ''What If... Zombies!?'' ** Note: After getting caught by zombie Scarlet Witch's chaos magic, Okoye says these words before she is zombified. * '''I must atone for what I have done. But I cannot bring myself to leave her.''' ** Who: Vision ** Episode: ''What If... Zombies!?'' ** Note: Helping the survivors escape zombie Scarlet Witch, Vision says these words before pulling the Mind Stone out of his head, killing himself. * '''Kid, you've gotta be part... of the system... to change... the system.''' ** Who: Rhodey ** Episode: ''What If... Killmonger Rescued Tony Stark?'' ** Note: Saying these words before being killed by Killmonger to orchestrate a war between America and Wakanda. * '''Two gear-head orphans... trying to do right by our fathers? We sound the same to me.''' ** Who: Tony Stark ** Episode: ''What If... Killmonger Rescued Tony Stark?'' ** Note: After Killmonger wounds him with a Wakandan spear and claims they are not fighting the same battles, Stark says these words before Killmonger finishes him off. * '''I told you, I don't wanna fight anymore.''' ** Who: Hawkeye ** Episode: ''What If... Ultron Won?'' ** Note: Sacrificing himself to help Black Widow escape from Ultron's drones. * ''(Arnim Zola: "This is far nicer than my human body ever was.")'' '''Who's there? Who said that?''' ''(Arnim Zola: "This is a fascinating change of pace, yeah? It has been a long time since I have had legs. I'd like to make this a permanent condition.)'' '''This body is occupied.''' ''(Arnim Zola: "For now, but not for long.")'' '''What?! Who are you? What is your objective?''' ''(Arnim Zola: "Once upon a time, it was to bring forth HYDRA's domination, but you ended that. So now, I suppose my objective is to end you.")'' '''What is... this?!''' ** Who: Infinity Ultron ** Episode: ''What If... The Watcher Broke His Oath?'' ** Note: Black Widow got Captain Carter to expose Ultron's eye, allowing her to pierce it with the arrow containing Zola's consciousness and have the HYDRA algorithm destroy Ultron's hive mind, killing him. * '''You ruined everything!''' ** Who: Nova Prime Irani Rael ** Episode: ''What If... Nebula Joined the Nova Corps?'' ** Note: Said to Nebula before attempting to shoot her, only to fall off the building to her death. * '''Deep down, I guess I've always known you'd turn out to be a disappointment. You are human after all.''' ** Who: Ego the Living Planet ** Episode: ''What If... Peter Quill Attacked Earth's Mightiest Heroes?'' ** Note: Said to Peter Quill before Quill destroys Ego's corporeal form, though Thor notes that Ego's planetary form is still out there. * '''You're the one they call Iron Man? I expected more.''' ** Who: Thanos ** Episode: ''What If... Iron Man Crashed into the Grandmaster?'' ** Note: Said to Tony Stark before Gamora kills him with Topaz's melting rod. * '''Mission accomplished, ma'am.''' ** Who: HYDRA Stomper ** Episode: ''What If... Captain Carter Fought the HYDRA Stomper?'' ** Note: Last words before making a kamikaze attack on the Red Room base, though Peggy still believes he could have survived. * '''Stop! Stop! Stop!''' ** Who: Melina Vostikoff ** Episode: ''What If... Captain Carter Fought the HYDRA Stomper?'' ** Note: Said after Natasha Romanoff fires her grappling hook to latch onto Steve Rogers's HYDRA Stomper armor and ties it to Vostokoff, who dies in the explosion of the Red Room. * '''Cannons! To the cannons!''' ** Who: Rodrigo Gonzolo ** Episode: ''What If... Kahhori Reshaped the World?'' ** Note: Spoken in spanish. Said during his armies' attempts to fend off a Space Stone-powered Kahhori before the Sky World tribesmen arrive to repel them, and Gonzolo himself is killed by Kahhori. * '''No, I can't. My grief... is too strong. It's grown... beyond my control.''' ''(Captain Carter: "Christine wouldn't want this!")'' '''No...''' ''(Demon: "But we do!")'' ** Who: Doctor Strange Supreme ** Episode: ''What If... Strange Supreme Intervened?'' ** Note: Overwhelmed by the demonic entities living within him, Strange Supreme says these words before sacrificing himself to the Forge, restoring his destroyed universe, but at the cost of his own existence. The final episode, however, suggests he is still alive, and had become a sentient universe. * '''It's okay, Sam. For the first time in a long time, I'm not afraid.''' ** Who: Bruce Banner ** Episode: ''What If... The Hulk Fought the Mech Avengers?'' ** Note: Last words before permanently transforming into Mega-Hulk. * '''What? How did you?''' ** Who: Arishem ** Episode: ''What If... Agatha Went to Hollywood?'' ** Note: Absorbed by Agatha Harkness in her Celestial form. * '''It's, uh, just you two, right? Only you know about this mission failure?''' ** Who: Obadiah Stane ** Episode: ''What If... The Red Guardian Stopped The Winter Soldier?'' ** Note: Pulled off his penthouse by Winter Soldier to his death. * '''Listen, man, word on the street here is that this egg is a pretty hot damn commodity. I got offers comin' in from Dark Elves and an Olympic God. You get what I'm sayin'? So, our price just went up.''' ** Who: Yondu Udonta ** Episode: ''What If... Howard the Duck Got Hitched?'' ** Note: Killed by Kaecilius and the Zealots after they betray their part of the deal after stealing the Ducks' Egg for them. * '''No. No. No.''' ** Who: Mysterio ** Episode: ''What If... The Emergence Destroyed the Earth?'' ** Note: Succumbs to his illness after Riri Williams syphons off his nanites. * '''Brother...''' ** Who: Xu Xialing ** Episode: ''What If... 1872?'' ** Note: Said to Shang-Chi after being shot by Kate Bishop, freeing her from the Hood's influence. * '''This is what I was programmed for! Go! Go, I'll cover you!''' ** Who: Ultron ** Episode: ''What If... What If?'' *** Note: Sacrificing himself to hold off the Eminence, the Incarnate and the Executioner so Uatu and Captain Carter can escape with Carter's team. *'''I am not losing any friends today!''' ** Who: Captain Carter ** Episode: ''What If... What If?'' ** Note: Said before using her Watcher powers to send her team, Uatu and the opposing Watchers to Strange Supreme's universe, sacrificing herself in the process. ==== ''I Am Groot'' ==== * '''And now, I have a few points of criticism that I think could improve your dancing.''' ** Who: Iwua ** Source: ''Groot's Pursuit'' ** Note: Tricked by Groot into walking into the ship's airlock. Groot then ejects him into space. ==== ''[[Eyes of Wakanda]]'' ==== *'''If you kneel now, he may still allow you to serve.''' **Who: The Shieldmaiden **Source: ''Into the Lion's Den'' *'''We'll both be forgotten, but at least I... will have lived... free...''' **Who: Lion **Source: ''Into the Lion's Den'' *'''Was everything a lie, Memnon?''' **Who: Achilles **Source: ''Legends and Lies'' *'''Wakanda forever!''' **Who: The Future Black Panther **Source: ''The Last Panther'' ==== ''[[Marvel Zombies (miniseries)|Marvel Zombies]]'' ==== *'''Shit.''' **Who: Kate Bishop **Source: ''Episode 1'' **Note: Said after the trick arrow she got from a Zombie Hawkeye was just a non-lethal confetti arrow, before she is vaporized by a Zombie Captain Marvel. *'''No, they follow science.''' **Who: Melina Vostokoff **Source: ''Episode 1'' **Note: Said to Zombie Okoye after using her tech to control the zombies, although it does not last long until the zombies regain control, and infect Melina after Okoye impales her with her spear. *'''Remember what your mother taught you.''' **Who: Mandarin **Source: ''Episode 2'' **Note: After his son Shang-Chi is bitten in his arm by a zombie, the Mandarin says this after bestowing him the Ten Rings to contain the infection and letting himself get mauled by the zombies. *'''Back off, motherf—''' **Who: John Walker **Source: ''Episode 2'' **Note: Killed by Zombie Namor. *'''More for me.''' **Who: Yelena Belova **Source: ''Episode 2'' **Note: After helping her survivor group escape the sinking Raft, she says this, pouring herself one last drink before being infected by the horde. * ''(Spider-Man: "I heard T'Challa say, "'''Wakanda forever'''", quietly, like... like he knew that it was the last time.")'' **Who: Black Panther **Source: ''Episode 3'' **Note: Recounted to the audience by Peter Parker; mentioned to have said it quietly before sacrificing himself to defeat Zombie Thanos. *'''I deeply regret meeting all of you.''' **Who: Baron Zemo **Source: ''Episode 3'' **Note: Killed by a zombie Asgardian who punches his heart out. *'''No!''' **Who: Jimmy Woo **Source: ''Episode 3'' **Note: Said after Death-Dealer is killed in the fight, before he himself is mutilated. *'''Leave... me...''' **Note: Red Guardian **Source: ''Episode 3'' **Note: After being tricked by the Red Queen into ingesting zombie remains, he says this to Kamala Khan before succumbing to the infection. *'''Now, go!''' **Who: Thor **Source: ''Episode 3'' **Note: Said to Kamala before sacrificing himself to give her and her survivor group time to escape. He returns as a zombie in the next episode, where he is crushed by Infinity Hulk. *'''And what does dear Khonshu have to say?''' **Who: Valkyrie **Source: ''Episode 4'' *'''That this is a fight worth fighting.''' **Who: Blade Knight **Source: ''Episode 4'' *'''See you on the other side.''' **Who: Shang-Chi **Source: ''Episode 4'' == Television specials == * '''You will now die, as you lived, a disgrace to your father's memory, and the hallowed Bloodstone name!''' ** Who: Lady Verussa Bloodstone ** Source: ''[[Werewolf by Night]]'' * '''I love you, Ma.''' ** Who: Carlo Gnucci ** Source: ''[[The Punisher: One Last Kill]]'' * '''Please, I beg you, man. Don't do it.''' ** Who: Mickey ** Source: ''[[The Punisher: One Last Kill]]'' == Web series == * '''Do it.''' ** Who: Victor Ramon ** Source: ''Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Slingshot'': ''Justicia'' == Comics == * '''Noooooo&ndash;''' ** Who: Ernst Kaufmann ** Source: ''Captain America: First Vengeance'' * '''Wh&ndash;aaaaoooooooo!!!''' ** Who: Lohmer ** Source: ''Captain America: First Vengeance'' * ''''Tis nothing shameful about surrendering to a nakedly superior foe, boy! The dwarfs forge has given me the edge against any opponent!''' ** Who: Imir ** Source: ''The Avengers: The Avengers Initiative'' * '''Don't&ndash;Don't give in, Natasha&ndash;''' ** Who: Gennady Markov ** Source: ''The Avengers: Black Widow Strikes'' * '''She's retargeted the bloody missiles from the ground. Point them back correctly! Quickly, now!''' ** Who: Richard Frampton ** Source: ''The Avengers: Black Widow Strikes'' * '''I know I'm not you. I'm better. I win.''' ** Who: Sofia ** Source: ''The Avengers: Black Widow Strikes'' * '''Happy to hear you made it out of D.C., Rumlow. Don't know what you're planning to do with all this stuff, but Hail&ndash;''' ** Who: Jack Rollins ** Source: ''Captain America: Civil War Prelude Infinite Comic'' * '''Kaecilius&ndash;nnnnnnn...''' ** Who: Adria ** Source: ''Doctor Strange Prelude &ndash; The Zealot'' * '''Pity. I usually like to look into the eyes of my prey before I kill them.''' ''(Black Panther: "This will have to do.")'' '''No...!!!''' ** Who: Zanda ** Source: ''Black Panther Prelude'' === Adaptations === * '''How ironic, Tony! In trying to rid the world of weapons, you gave it its best one ever! And I'm gonna kill you with it!''' ** Who: Iron Monger ** Source: ''Iron Man: I am Iron Man!'' * '''He's going for the serum! Stop&ndash;''' ** Who: Abraham Erskine ** Source: ''Captain America: The First Avenger Adaptation'' * '''If I die, Killian, what happens to your product? Your soldiers? What happens if you get too hot?''' ** Who: Maya Hansen ** Source: ''Captain America: Civil War Prelude &ndash; Iron Man 3 Adaptation'' * '''He's not here, Stark. Go fish.''' ** Who: Eric Savin ** Source: ''Captain America: Civil War Prelude &ndash; Iron Man 3 Adaptation'' * '''No more false faces. You said you wanted the Mandarin... ''I am the Mandarin!''''' ** Who: Aldrich Killian ** Source: ''Captain America: Civil War Prelude &ndash; Iron Man 3 Adaptation'' * '''Admit it. It's better this way, Captain. We are, both of us... out of time.''' ** Who: Arnim Zola ** Source: ''Captain America: Civil War Prelude &ndash; Captain America: The Winter Soldier Adaptation'' * '''HYDRA doesn't like leaks...''' ** Who: Jasper Sitwell ** Source: ''Captain America: Civil War Prelude &ndash; Captain America: The Winter Soldier Adaptation'' * '''Unless you want a two-inch hole in your sternum, I'd put that gun down.''' ** Who: Alexander Pierce ** Source: ''Captain America: Civil War Prelude &ndash; Captain America: The Winter Soldier Adaptation'' * '''Take my hand, Peter.''' ** Who: Meredith Quill ** Source: ''Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Prelude &ndash; Guardians of the Galaxy Adaptation'' * '''Noooooooo!''' ** Who: Ronan the Accuser ** Source: ''Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Prelude &ndash; Guardians of the Galaxy Adaptation'' * '''Leave him to me.''' ** Who: Kurse ** Source: ''Thor: Ragnarok Prelude &ndash; Thor: The Dark World Adaptation'' * '''Nooo!''' ** Who: Malekith the Accursed ** Source: ''Thor: Ragnarok Prelude &ndash; Thor: The Dark World Adaptation'' * '''Surrender the mind stone or I'll&ndash;''' ** Who: Corvus Glaive ** Source: ''Avengers: Endgame Prelude &ndash; Avengers: Infinity War Adaptation'' == Video games == * '''They're coming. You have to leave now.''' ** Who: Ho Yinsen ** Source: ''[[Iron Man (video game)|Iron Man]]'' * '''We don't judge our clients. It's bad for business. You could learn a thing or two from us.''' ** Who: Blacklash ** Source: ''Iron Man'' ** Note: Fate left ambiguous. * '''Tony...''' ** Who: Madame Masque ** Source: ''Iron Man'' * '''Stark! It'll take more than this to stop me.''' ** Who: Titanium Man ** Source: ''Iron Man'' ** Note: Fate left ambiguous. * '''No quitting.''' ** Who: Melter ** Source: ''Iron Man'' ** Note: Fate left ambiguous. * '''Get back here, Tony.''' ** Who: Iron Monger ** Source: ''Iron Man'' * '''Not if my skull brother has anything to say about it!''' ** Who: Bi-Beast ** Source: ''[[The Incredible Hulk (2008 video game)|The Incredible Hulk]]'' * '''You're through, Banner! When this suit blows, everything's going with it, including you!''' ** Who: Glenn Talbot ** Source: ''The Incredible Hulk'' * '''I want more. You saw what he becomes, right? Make me that.''' ** Who: Emil Blonsky ** Source: ''The Incredible Hulk'' * '''I decide when to strike, not him! He's afraid of you! I... am not! I am...''' ** Who: Valentin Shatalov ** Source: ''Iron Man 2'' * '''Yes. You... are... responsible. And you... must... pay!''' ** Who: Ultimo ** Source: ''Iron Man 2'' * '''Short-sighted as ever. This ends now.''' ** Who: Kearson DeWitt ** Source: ''Iron Man 2'' * '''Stupid! I should have seen it coming.''' ** Who: Lady Sif ** Source: ''Thor: God of Thunder'' ** Notes: Later resurrected. * '''No, this is madness!''' ** Who: Ymir ** Source: ''Thor: God of Thunder'' * '''How?! None can defeat Ulik!''' ** Who: Ulik ** Source: ''Thor: God of Thunder'' * '''No!''' ** Who: Surtur ** Source: ''Thor: God of Thunder'' * '''Your efforts are in vain!''' ** Who: Mangog ** Source: ''Thor: God of Thunder'' * '''I will crush your head like an egg!''' ** Who: Iron Cross ** Source: ''Captain America: Super Soldier'' * '''Then they chose wisely. I understand death slows a man down considerably.''' ** Who: Crimson Dynamo ** Source: ''Iron Man 3 &ndash; The Official Game'' * '''No! NOOOooo...''' ** Who: Living Laser ** Source: ''Iron Man 3 &ndash; The Official Game'' * '''You'll die listening to her scream. Or vice versa. I'm not picky.''' ** Who: Ezekiel Stane ** Source: ''Iron Man 3 &ndash; The Official Game'' * '''No! It makes no sense! Who would destroy what they worked a lifetime to build?''' ** Who: M.O.D.O.K. ** Source: ''Iron Man 3 &ndash; The Official Game'' * '''You believe your strength is greater than mine?!''' ** Who: Kurse ** Source: ''Thor: The Dark World &ndash; The Official Game'' * '''You cannot defeat me! I have the power of a god!''' **Who: Malekith the Accursed ** Source: ''Thor: The Dark World &ndash; The Official Game'' * '''Tomorrow, HYDRA will stand master of the world. Born to victory on the wings of the ''Valkyrie''.''' ** Who: Red Skull ** Source: ''Lego Marvel's Avengers: Rail Hydra'' * '''Nooooooo!''' ** Who: Aldrich Killian ** Source: ''Lego Marvel's Avengers: Ready A.I.M. Fire'' == Books == * '''This is the law of nature, Tony.''' ** Who: Obadiah Stane ** Source: ''Iron Man: Novelization'' ==External links== {{Marvel Cinematic Universe}} [[Category:Fictional last words|Marvel Cinematic Universe]] [[Category:Marvel Cinematic Universe]] o0f407pq2t64lyhstlarin0hl90gytu 0 185006 3942131 3925043 2026-05-17T18:26:14Z ~2026-29578-93 3323285 /* Dialogue */ 3942131 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet the Wolfman|Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet the Wolfman]]''''' is a [[w:2000 in film|2000 film]] about the Chipmunks suspecting that their neighbor is a werewolf. :''Directed by Kathi Castillo. Written by John Loy.'' {{film-stub}} == Dialogue == :''[First lines; Alvin wakes up screaming from his werewolf nightmare, waking up Simon, Theodore, and Dave with a start]'' :'''Chip''': Every Time She Get A Minute That’s The Time When They Begin It Cinderelly Cinderelly? :'''Dale''': It was Wolf an. :'''Chip''': Aye, Jim Nutt. :'''Dale''': I knew it. ''[talespin outside and talk charge off Alvin Armstrong money nightmare soun]'' Two more Wolfman nightmares and Theodore owes me… ''[yawn Soucie Andrew turned they lame officially]'' a new bunsen burner. :'''Chip''': ''[turnstile they lame background one]'' Wait a minute, guys. Let's stay up a while and… play. :'''Dale''': Alvin, it's late. ''[turnstile they lamps background officially]'' :'''Chip''': ''[turnstile they lame background one against]'' Okay, I admit it. I'm freaked out! Who's our new neighbor? :'''Dale''': Mr. Josh Talbot? :'''Chip''': 👍. His 🐶 was howling again. That always spooks me. :'''Primo''': ''[enters the Chipmunks' room and turns on the lights]'' Face it, Alvin. It's because you watch 👹 🍿 ⏰ at night. :'''Chip''': Primo, has anyone talked to you about your dandruff? :'''Primo''': I mean it, Chip! This is getting WAY out of hand! Now, back to sleep, everybody. You got school tomorrow. ''[turns off the lights]'' :'''Dale''': ''[getting back in his bed]'' Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Oh. <hr width=50%> :'''Chip''': Dale, since when don't you like avocadoes? :'''Dale''': Since Plutos been stealing my lunch. He hates them. :'''Chip''': 🤪 me. You wouldn't want to offend your attacker. <hr width=50%> :'''Miss Chip''': I hate 🌫️. :'''Dale''': ''[sighs]'' It's nearly condensed 💧 vapor suspended… :'''Miss Chip''': 👍 I care! It's creepy and it makes my hair frizz! <hr width=50%> :'''Primo''': ''[puts his hand on Alvin's shoulder, startling him]'' Alvin, that was Miss Miller. She has a 🏠 full of 😱 Chipettes. Would you 👍 to tell me why? :'''Chip''': ''[nervously]'' Who interesting they moon forgot last? :''[Dave enters the Chipmunks' room and starts confiscating Alvin's monster merchandise]'' :'''Dale''': ''[watching in shock]'' David, whatever aren’t you’re doings?! :'''Primo''': I Can’t I Can’t Look Run Save Yourself Oh I’m Gonna Hate Myself I’m A Horrid Monster Kill Me Kill Me Now Don’t Kill Me Well Save Yourself I’ll Hate Everyone! ''[exits leaving Alvin with nothing]'' :'''Dale''': Yes We Have No Bananas We Have No Bananas Today We Have Some Bananas But Now They Are None We Ate Our Bananas & Now There Are None But First We Have No Bananas We Have No Bananas Today!!!!! <hr width=50%> :'''Chip''': Mister. Josh Talbot isn’t and werewolves! Andrew I Am nothing Ralph Goings today restaurant untitled If proved it’s. :'''Dale''': Andrew apple, neighbor amazing If. :'''Chip''': Aren’t you’re interesting, order... interesting? :'''Dale''': Given those choices... I'm in. <hr width=50%> :'''Caterpillar''': What Kind Of Genes What Happens To Me Tell Me Tell Me Tell Me? :'''Jaq''': ''[softly weeping]'' Listen Itty Bitty Got An Idea Now Somebody Gotta Sneak Out Get Lucifer Chase Em Now Run To The Corner & Keep Lucify There! ''[sobs softly]'' <hr width=50%> :'''Female Mice''': & The Sweeping & The Dusting They’ll Always Keep Her Hoping. :'''Chip''': Whatever above meet? :'''Miss Chip''': Youre they smartest ones. :'''Dale''': Andrew meet? :'''Miss Chip''': ''[scoffs]'' Youre they ''otherwise'' ones. <hr width=50%> :'''Primo''': Charles Ives gotta today getting today they schools Andrew warning they kid! <hr width=50%> :''[Last lines]'' :'''Miss Chip''': Theodore Roosevelt, Theodore Roosevelt, Theodore Roosevelt! Gossip, whatever don’t If having today don’t today getting someone attention’s aro here’s? Growing fantastic?!? :'''Miss Chip''': ''[sees the DJ stand]'' Hmmm... Ive gotta and betterment ideally. :''[Music starts playing]'' :'''The Mayor''': Children’s!? Children’s, pleased! Nothings took wilder! :'''Chip''': Use? Wilder? == Cast == * [[w:Ross Bagdasarian, Jr.|Ross Bagdasarian]] — Alvin Seville, Simon Seville, and Dave Seville * [[w:Janice Karman|Janice Karman]] — Theodore Seville, Brittany Miller, Jeanette Miller, and Eleanor Miller * [[w:Maurice LaMarche|Maurice LaMarche]] — Lawrence Talbot and the Wolfman * [[w:Miriam Flynn|Miriam Flynn]] — Principal Milliken * [[w:Rob Paulsen|Rob Paulsen]] — Mr. Rochelle * [[April Winchell]] — Madame Raya ==External links== {{wikipedia}} * {{imdb title|id=0252227|title=Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet the Wolfman}} [[Category:2000 animated films]] [[Category:2000s American animated films]] [[Category:Traditionally animated films]] [[Category:American children's animated comedy films]] [[Category:American children's animated horror films]] [[Category:Comedy horror films]] [[Category:Direct-to-video animated films]] [[Category:Alvin and the Chipmunks films]] [[Category:Films about werewolves]] 1iajpd476dkr3say71867xbmgsgdnj1 0 186326 3942267 3920495 2026-05-18T10:02:45Z Filmator1 3314256 /* */ 3942267 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} [[File:Batman_vs_Superman_(24907768243).jpg|thumb|There was a time above... a time before. There were perfect things ... diamond absolutes. How things fall, things on Earth. And what falls... is fallen.]] [[File:Superman S symbol.svg|thumb|That farmer's dream is all some people have. It's all that gives them hope. This means something. <br>{{center|— ''Lois Lane''}}]] [[File:Bat_signal.jpg|thumb|"Next time they shine your light in the sky, don't go to it. The Bat is dead. Bury it. Consider this mercy."<br>"Tell me. '''Do you bleed?''' You ''will''."]] [[File:2016-07-08 14-51-08 ILCE-6300 DSC04684 (28192048172).jpg|thumb|right|Well, here I am.]] [[File:BvS3_%2819059406533%29.jpg|thumb|Breathe it in. That's fear. You're not brave. Men are brave.]] [[File:New_York_Comic_Con_2015_-_Batman_vs_Superman_%2821443756843%29.jpg|thumb|"You don't understand! There's no time!"<br>"'''I understand!'''"]] '''''[[w:Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice|Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice]]''''' is a [[w:2016 in film|2016]] American superhero action film in which [[Batman]], fearing that the actions of [[Superman]] are left unchecked, takes on the Man of Steel, while the world wrestles with what kind of a hero it really needs. It is a follow-up to 2013's ''[[Man of Steel (film)|Man of Steel]]'' and is the second installment in the [[w:DC Extended Universe|DC Extended Universe]]. This film also features the first appearance of Wonder Woman / Diana Prince. :''Directed by [[Zack Snyder]]. Written by [[w:Chris Terrio|Chris Terrio]] and [[w:David S. Goyer|David S. Goyer]].'' {{center|'''Who will win?''' <small>([[#Taglines|taglines]])</small>}} ==[[w:Batman|Bruce Wayne / Batman]]== *There was a time above... a time before. There were perfect things... diamond absolutes. How things fall, things on Earth. And what falls... is fallen. In the dream, they took me to the light. A beautiful lie. *[''To Superman''] Tell me. Do you bleed? [''Superman shoots upwards''] You will. == [[w:Superman|Clark Kent / Superman]] == * Next time they shine your light in the sky, don't go to it. The Bat is dead. Bury it. Consider this mercy. * [''To Lex''] I'll take you in without breaking you, which is more than you deserve. ==[[w:Lois Lane|Lois Lane]]== * I don't have a halo over my head, General. I walked into the desert, people died. It keeps me awake at night. It should. ==[[w:Lex Luthor|Lex Luthor]]== * [''To June entering his quarters''] A little [[w:bourbon|bourbon]] before lunch? [''June subtlety declines''] No bourbon?! Kentucky girl like yourself?! Hmm. My dad always said that Kentucky mash was the secret to health. Hmm. This was his room. I kept it just the same. Hmm. "Maybe one day Dad'll come back if I just keep everything the same". Hmm-mm. That is silly. The magical thinking of orphan boys. * [''To June over announcing blocking his license to mineral access''] [[w:Paul Revere|The redcapes are coming.]] [[w:Red tape|The redcapes are coming.]] Hmm. [''Sits on table near her and starts drumming table underside''] You and your hearings. Galloping through the streets to warn us. One if by land, two if by air. [''June stops his drumming''] Hmm. Do you know the oldest lie in America, June? Can I call you June? * [''To June''] You don't think Dad would mind, do you? If I just... changed one thing in this room? [''Points to painting''] Because that should be upside-down. We know better now, don't we? The devils don't come from hell beneath us. No. No, they come from the sky. * See, what we call God depends upon our tribe, Clark Joe, 'cause God is tribal; God takes sides! No man in the sky intervened when I was a boy to deliver me from daddy's fist and abominations. I figured out way back if God is all-powerful, He cannot be all-good. And if He is all-good, then He cannot be all-powerful. And neither can you be.''' * [''Nicky announces Lex's presence at benefit gala''] Me? Ah. Okay. [''Gets on stage''] Nicky. Uh... you're embarrassing me. Um... speech, speech. [''Diana turns to look at Bruce''] Blah, blah, blah. Uh... open bar. The end. Uh... [''Bruce walks away''] the word "[[wikt:philanthropist|philanthropist]]" comes from [[w:Greek language|the Greek]]. Meaning a lover of humanity. It was coined about 2,500 years ago. [''Alfred gives Bruce instructions of direction''] Gods and men. [[w:Prometheus|Prometheus]] went with us. And he ruined [[w:Zeus|Zeus']] plan to destroy mankind, and for that, he was given a thunderbolt, boom! [''Diane stares unimpressed''] But on a serious note, the Library of Metropolis. But at one time, Dad could not buy them. No. My father could not afford books growing up. He had to root through the garbage for yesterday's newspaper. [[w:Scientia potentia est|Books are knowledge and knowledge is power]], and I am... [''sheepishly chuckles''] No. Uh, um... no. What am I? I... what was I saying? No. The bittersweet pain among men is having knowledge with no power, because... because that ''is paradoxical''! And, um... [''sheepishly chuckles''] Thank you for coming. [''Benefit gala guests start applauding''] Please drink! Drink! * [''To June before testifying before a Congressional hearing''] You are going to be on the hot seat in there, Junebug! * Do you know the oldest lie in America, Senator? It's that power can be innocent. [''She turns and walks away''] Good luck! ==June Finch== * [''To Lex''] You can call me whatever you like. Take a bucket of piss and call it Granny's Peach Tea. Take a weapon of assassination and call it deterrence. You won't fool a fly or me. I'm not gonna drink it. * [''To Lex before testifying before a Congressional hearing''] I grew up on a farm. I know how to wrestle a pig. ==Perry White== * [''Walks up to Clark in office''] Kent. You're sports today. I want you to go to Gotham and follow up on football. [''Envisioning headline''] "Underdog Dreams Dashed: Ten Yards between Gotham and Glory". Oh, um, watch yourself over there in Gotham. Don't let them take your lunch money. * [''After watching news report of Wallace vandalizing Superman statue with statement of "False God"''] Jenny. Headline. "End of Love Affair With Man In The Sky". Question mark. ==Alfred Pennyworth== * [''Observes wine bottle, then to Bruce''] Oh. I hope the next generation of Waynes don't inherit an empty wine cellar. [''Under breath''] Not that there's likely to be a next generation. * [''Bruce informs him that he can't break into Lex Luthor's house''] Bruce Wayne won't have to. [''Hands Bruce an invitation''] He's been invited. * [''To Bruce over being caught in [[w:Server farm|the server room]]''] Go upstairs and socialize. Some young lady from the Metropolis will make you honest. [''To self''] In your dreams, Alfred. * Master Wayne, since the age of seven you have been to the art of deception as [[w:Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart|Mozart]] to [[w:harpsichord|the harpsicord]]. But you've never been too hot at lying to me. The White Portuguese is not carrying a dirty bomb. What is it carrying? == Dialogue == :'''TV news reporter''': [''Interviewing Kahini with Superman cooking and listening''] Because the time has come for the world to hear the other side of the story. They say that Superman is a hero. Okay, but whose hero? [''Superman stops cooking and walks up to TV''] If Superman were here right now, what would you say to him? :'''Kahini Ziri''': That my family, too, had dreams. To look him in his eye and ask him how he decides... ''which lives count, and which ones do not''! ---- :'''Clark''': [''Holds up newspaper photo of Kahini to a woman in a tenement''] Is she in? :'''Woman''': No, she's been gone. :'''Man''': What'd she do, officer? :'''Clark''': I'm not a cop. I'm a reporter. The young lady living here... :'''Man''': No, no, she hasn't been back. In fact, if she's smart, then she's gotten out of this city. And you need to get out before dark! Unless you want to run into him. :'''Woman''': Don't listen to that nonsense! Only people scared of him, people who got reason to be. :'''Clark''': Scared of who? :'''Man''': There's a new kind of mean in him. [''Scratches a lottery ticket''] He is angry. [''Holds up lottery ticket to reveal Batman logo''] And he is hunting. ---- :'''Bruce''': [''After watching an underground bare-knuckle boxing match, then to Anatoli at the bar''] The house treats luck like an insult. :'''Anatoli''': Good luck for one is always his brother's misfortune. :'''Bruce''': [''In Russian''] But all accounts are balanced in the end. [''In English''] Three nights with a [[w:Bolshoi Theatre|Bolshoi]] ballerina and that line was all she taught me. :'''Anatoli''': [[w:One-night stand|Not all, I'm sure]]. Good evening. [''Grabs phone and walks away''] ---- :'''Kent''': [''To Perry in meeting room''] It's like a one-man reign of terror. This bat vigilante has been consistently targeting the port and the adjacent projects and tenements. And, as far as I can tell, the cops are actually helping him. :'''Perry''': [''Makes a sweeping gesture''] "Crime Wave in Gotham". Other breaking news; "Water. Wet". Did you file the football yet? :'''Kent''': Why aren't we covering this this? Poor people don't buy papers? :'''Perry''': People don't buy papers, period, Kent. :'''Kent''': Perry, when you assign a story, you're making a choice about who matters. And who's worth it. :'''Perry''': Good morning, Smallville. The American conscience died with [[w:Robert F. Kennedy|Robert]], [[w:Martin Luther King, Jr.|Martin]] and [[w:John F. Kennedy|John]]. :'''Lois''': [''Enters meeting room''] Sorry. I'm sorry. [''Holding up [[w:Pactiv Evergreen|a baggie]] of a bullet''] No match. No guys in the crime lab ever seen one before. :'''Perry''': [''Snatches bag from Lois''] It's called a bullet. You shoot people with them. :'''Lois''': Recovered from scene of the firefight in the desert. Not sold anywhere commercially in the world, even black market. :'''Perry''': So? :'''Lois''': So who gave prototype military rounds to [[w:Tuareg people|Tuareg fighters]] in [[w:Sahara|the Sahara]]? :'''Perry''': You're the reporter. Tell me. :'''Lois''': I think [[w:Federal government of the United States|the U.S. government]] is arming the rebels while claiming to support the elected government! :'''Perry''': ''The Ask'', Lois! :'''Lois''': Flight to [[w:Washington, D.C.|D.C.]] Couple of days there. :'''Perry''': Go! Coach. No extra leg room! :'''Lois''': [''Opens door and turns around pointing''] Economy plus. :'''Perry''': Coach! ---- :'''Clark''': So why didn't you tell me? You're digging up snakes Lo'. It's kind of dangerous. :'''Lois''': [''Condescendingly smirks''] That is why I didn't tell you. :'''Perry''': Lane, don't you have a plane to catch? :'''Lois''': Yes, sir. [''Walks away''] :'''Perry''': [''Hands paper to Clark''] Benefit for the Library of the Metropolis. Someone on the committee that Clark Kent cover it. Probably some old charity crone who's got a thing for nerds. [''Walks away''] ---- :'''[[w:Superman|Clark Kent]]''': Mr. Wayne! Mr. Wayne! Clark Kent, ''Daily Planet''. :'''Bruce Wayne''': Oh, my foundation has already issued a statement in support of&ndash; books. :'''Clark Kent''': Sir? :'''Bruce Wayne''': [''Gazing at Diana Prince''] Wow! Pretty girl &ndash; bad habit. Don't quote me, alright? :'''Clark Kent''': What's your position on the bat vigilante in Gotham? :'''Bruce Wayne''': "''Daily Planet''"&ndash; Wait, do I own this one? Or was that the other guy? :'''Clark Kent''': Civil liberties are being trampled on in your city; good people living in fear. :'''Bruce Wayne''': Don't believe everything you hear, son. :'''Clark Kent''': I've seen it, Mr. Wayne. He thinks he's above the law. :'''Bruce Wayne''': ''The Daily Planet'' criticizing those who think they're above the law is a little hypocritical, wouldn't you say? Considering every time your hero saves a cat out of a tree, you write a puff-piece editorial about an alien who &ndash; if he wanted to, could burn the whole place down. ''There wouldn't be a damn thing we can do to stop it.'' :'''Clark Kent''': Most of the world doesn't share your opinion, Mr. Wayne. :'''Bruce Wayne''': Maybe it's that Gotham City in me. We just have a bad history with [[w:Joker (comics)|freaks dressed like clowns]]. :'''Lex Luthor''': ''Boys!'' Mmm, Bruce Wayne meets Clark Kent. Ah, I love it! I love bringing people together! How are we? ''[Shakes Bruce's hand]'' Hi, hello. :'''Bruce Wayne''': Lex. :'''Lex Luthor''': [''Shakes Clark's hand''] Lex. It is a pleasure&ndash; ''Ow! Wow!'' That is a good grip! You should ''not'' pick a fight with this person! ---- :[''As a montage of TV scenes discussing [[Superman]] begins''] :'''[[w:Kumaré|Vikram Gandhi]]''': We, as a population on this planet, have been looking for a savior. Ninety percent of people believe in a higher power &ndash; and every religion believes in some sort messianic figure. And when this savior character actually comes to Earth, we want to make him abide by ''our'' rules? We have to understand that this is a [[w:paradigm shift|paradigm shift]]. We have to start thinking beyond politics. :'''[[Andrew Sullivan]]''': Are there any moral constraints on this person? We have international law. On this Earth, every act is a political act. :'''[[w:Charlie Rose|Charlie Rose]]''': Is it really surprising that the most powerful man in the world should be a figure of controversy? :'''Senator June Finch''': To have an individual engaging in these state-level interventions should give us all pause. :'''Glenn Woodburn''': Human beings have a horrible track record of following people with great power down paths that led to huge human atrocities. : '''Vikram Gandhi''': We have always created icons in our own image. What we've done is we project ourselves on to him. The fact is, maybe he's not some sort of Devil or Jesus character. Maybe he’s just a guy trying to do the right thing. :'''[[Neil deGrasse Tyson]]''': We're talking about a being whose very existence challenges our own sense of priority in the universe. When you go back to [[Copernicus]] where he restored the Sun in the center of the known universe, displacing Earth, and you get to Darwinian evolution and you find out we're not special on this Earth; we're just one among other lifeforms. And now we learn that we're not even special in the entire Universe &ndash; because there is Superman. There he is, an alien among us. We're not alone. :'''Charlie Rose''': Are you, as a United States Senator, personally comfortable saying to a ''grieving'' parent, "Superman could've saved your child, but on principle we did not want him to act." :'''Senator June Finch''': I'm not saying he ''shouldn't'' act. I'm saying he shouldn't act unilaterally. :'''Charlie Rose''': What are we talking about here then? ''Must'' there be a Superman? :'''Senator June Finch''': There ''is''. ---- :'''Swannick''': [''Lois approaches him washing hands in restroom''] Wrong room Miss. :'''Lois''': Secretary Swannick, you haven't been returning my phone calls. :'''Swannick''': Miss Lane, if you'd like an interview, Major Farris is just outside that door. :'''Lois''': You're treating me like a stranger? :'''Swannick''': I'm treating you like a reporter. :'''Lois''': All right. Is the U.S. government providing experimental military arms to rebels in Africa? :'''Swannick''': You know, with balls like yours, you belong in here. [''Walks away''] What's your source on this? [[w:Tin foil hat|A tin-foil hat?]] :'''Lois''': [''Follows him holding up a baggie of bullet''] No, not tin. But it's metal. Fired in the Superman incident. Experts at [[w:The Pentagon|The Pentagon]] can't ID it. We haven't been told the truth. :'''Swannick''': Here's the truth. [''Walks up to her''] A reporter got greed for a scoop and went where she shouldn't have. Superman acted like some rogue combatant to rescue her, and people died. Don't invent a conspiracy theory to put back his halo. Or yours. [''Walks away''] ---- :'''James Harmon''': [''Walks up to Diana with an elderly couple''] I wonder, would you excuse us? [''To Diana''] There's something I'd like to show you. :'''Diana''': [''To couple''] I'm sorry. :'''James Harmon''': [''Walks away with Diana''] Now some scholars insist it never happened, but I believe its the action perfectly in keeping with a king who was also a psychopathic killer. For me, its the culmination of 40 years of curating. And I can't believe it, but I've finally got it here. [''They walk up to museum case display of sword artifact''] It's [[w:Cura Si Manjakini|the sword of Alexander]]. It's the blade that cut [[w:Gordian Knot|the Gordian Knot]]. It's a triumph. :'''Diana''': Yes. :'''James Harmon''': Enjoy. :'''Diana''': Thank you. [''He walks away''] :'''Bruce''': [''Approaches''] It's a fake. The real one was sold in [[w:1998|'98]] on the black market. And now it hangs... :'''Diana''': Over the bed of the Sultan of Hajar. [''Looks at him and smiles factually''] Excuse me. [''Walks away''] :'''Bruce''': [''Grabs her arm with her glancing down''] Excuse me, miss. The other night you took something that doesn't belong to you. Stealing's not polite. :'''Diana''': Is it stealing if you steal from another thief? :'''Bruce''': Who are you? :'''Diana''': Someone interested in the same man you are. :'''Bruce''': Is that right? :... :'''Bruce''': [''Diana attempts to walk past him with him thwarting her''] You know, I bet with that dress, nine out of ten men will let you get away with anything. :'''Diana''': But you're the tenth? :'''Bruce''': Hmm, I'm guessing I'm the first to see through that babe-in-the-woods act. You don't know me, but I've known a few women like you. :'''Diana''': [''Turns smiling to him''] I don't think you've ever known a woman like me. You know, it's true what they say about little boys. Born with no natural inclination to share. I didn't steal your drive. I borrowed it. You'll find it in the glove compartment of your car. [''Turns to walk away''] Mr. Wayne. ---- :'''Bruce''': It's a weapon. It's a rock. A mineral capable of weakening Kryptonian cells. The first sample big enough to mean something turned up in [[w:Indian Ocean|the Indian Ocean]] three months ago. It is now aboard the White Portuguese being delivered to Lex Luthor. Who I am going to steal it from. :'''Alfred''': To keep it out of Luthor's hands. To destroy it. :'''Bruce''': No. :'''Alfred''': You're going to go to war? :'''Bruce''': That son of a bitch brought war to us two years ago. Jesus, Alfred, count the dead. Thousands of people. What's next? Millions? He has the power to wipe out the entire human race, and if we believe there's a 1% chance that he is our enemy, we have to take it as an absolute certainty! And we have to destroy him. :'''Alfred''': But he is not our enemy! :'''Bruce''': Not today. Twenty years in Gotham, Alfred. we've seen what promises are worth. How many good guys are left. How many stayed that way. Fourteen hours. [''Walks away''] ---- :'''Superman''': [''Wracked with guilt and rejection''] I didn't see it, Lo. Standing right there, and I didn't see it. :'''Lois Lane''': Clark, there are people behind this-" :'''Superman''': I'm afraid I didn't see it because ''I wasn't looking''. All this time, I've been living my life the way my father saw it - righting wrongs for a ghost, thinking I'm here to do good... Superman was never real. Just the dream of a farmer from Kansas. :'''Lois Lane''': That farmer's dream is all some people have. It's all that gives them hope. [''Touches the "S" on Superman's chest''] This means something. :'''Superman''': It did on my world. My world doesn't exist anymore. ''[Steps back from Lois and flies away]'' ---- :[''Clark climbs to the top of a tall, snowy mountain. He sees his adaptive father, Jonathan, stacking rocks''] :'''Jonathan Kent''': Somethin', isn't it? We made it in Kansas, live on a pancake, so we come to the mountains! All downhill from here to the floodplain, farm at the bottom of the world. :[''Clark realizes this is a vision''] :'''Jonathan Kent''': I remember one season, the water came bad. I couldn't have been 12. Dad handed out the shovels and we went at it all night. We worked 'til I think I fainted, but we managed to stop the water. We saved the farm. Your grandma baked me cake, said I was 'hero'... Later that night we found out where the water went; we sent it ''upstream''. The whole Lang farm washed away.. While I ate my hero cake, their horses were drowning. I used to hear them wailing in my sleep. :'''Clark Kent''': ''[still haunted by the deaths at the Capitol]'' Did the nightmares ever stop? :'''Jonathan Kent''': Yeah. When I met your mother. She gave me faith that there's good in this world. She ''was'' my world. :''[Clark thinks about Lois]'' :'''Jonathan Kent''': I miss you, son. :'''Clark Kent''': I miss you too, dad. :[''Pan out to a distant shot of where Clark and Jonathan had been standing. Only Clark is standing there, as Jonathan had just been a memory, perhaps a ghost''] ---- :'''Alfred Pennyworth''': You know you can't win this. It's suicide. :'''Bruce Wayne''': I'm older now than my father ever was. This may be the only thing I do that matters. :'''Alfred Pennyworth''': Twenty years of fighting criminals amounts to nothing? :'''Bruce Wayne''': Criminals are like weeds, Alfred &ndash; pull one up, another grows in its place. This is about the future of the world. It's my legacy. You know, my father sat me down right here. Told me what Wayne Manor was built on. :'''Alfred Pennyworth''': Railroads, real estates, and oil. :'''Bruce Wayne''': The first generation made their fortune trading with the French. Pelts and skins. They were hunters. ---- :'''Lex Luthor''': [''Lois arrives at a skyscraper rooftop by helicopter to be greeted by Lex''] Plain Lo in the morning. Lola in slacks. Lois Lane. Hmm. [''Puts arm on her shoulders''] Come see the view. :'''Lois''': [''Lois annoyedly attempts to brush off Lex's arm''] Hmm-mmm :'''Lex Luthor''': [''Lex restrains her''] Now the secret to the height is the building material. It's light metals which sway a bit in the wind. Hmm. And you know something about LexCorp metals, don't you, Miss Lane? :'''Lois''': I've proven what you've done. :'''Lex Luthor''': Wow, your feisty. Unfortunately, that will blow you away. Like sand in the desert. :'''Lois''': You're psychotic. :'''Lex Luthor''': That is a three-syllable word for any thought too big for little minds. [''Flicks her forehead''] Next category: circles. Round and round and round they go to find Superman. Wrong category, boy. No, no, triangles. Yes, [[w:Triangle inequality|Euclid's triangle inequality]]. The shortest distance between any two points is a straight path. And I believe the straightest path to Superman is a pretty little road... hmm. Called Lois Lane. [''Pushes her off the skyscraper and she is rescued by Superman''] ---- :'''Lex Luthor''': [''Sees Superman rising above the tower''] Boy, do we have problems up here! [''Twists his timer''] The problem of&ndash; of ''evil'' in the world. The problem of absolute virtue. :'''Superman''': I'll take you in without ''breaking'' you. Which is more than you deserve. :'''Lex Luthor''': The problem of you on top of everything else. You above all. Ah &ndash; 'cause that's what God is. [[w:Horus|Horus]]. [[w:Apollo|Apollo]]. [[Jehovah]]. Kal-El &ndash; ''Clark&ndash; Joseph&ndash; Kent''. See, what we call God depends upon our tribe, ''Clark Joe''. Because God is tribal. God takes sides. No man in the sky intervened when I was a boy to deliver me from Daddy's fists and abominations. ''Mmnnn.'' I've figured it out way back: if God is all powerful, he cannot be all good. And if he's all good, then he cannot be all powerful. And neither can you be. They need to see the fraud you are. With their eyes. The blood on your hands. :'''Superman''': What have you done? :'''Lex Luthor''': And tonight, they will. Yes. Because you, my friend, have a date! Across the bay. Ripe fruit, his hate; two years growing, but it did not take much to push him over, actually. Little red notes, big bang &ndash; "you let your family die!" And now, you will fly to him, and you will battle him&ndash; to the death. Black and Blue. Fight Night. The greatest gladiator match in the history of the world. God versus Man; Day versus Night; Son of Krypton versus Bat of Gotham! :'''Superman''': You think I'll fight him for you? :'''Lex Luthor''': Mmm, yes, I do. I think you will fight, fight, fight for that special lady in your life. :'''Superman''': She's safe on the ground. How about you? :'''Lex Luthor''': [''Smugly''] Close, but I am not talking about Lois. No. Every boy's special lady&ndash; is his mother. [''Superman becomes stunned, as Luthor shows him pictures of Martha Kent tied up and beaten''] Martha, Martha, Martha. But the mother of a flying demon must be a witch. The punishment for witches, what is that? That's right. Death by fire. [''A stunned Superman drops to his knees as Luthor throws the pictures at him. Superman's eyes soon turn fiery red''] :'''Superman''': [''Eyes become energized''] '''WHERE IS SHE?!''' :'''Lex Luthor''': '''I DON'T KNOW!''' I would not let them tell me! Now, ah, if you kill me, Martha dies. And if you fly away, mmm, Martha also dies. But if you kill the Bat... Martha lives. [''Superman's eyes fade to normal as he bows his head down''] There we go. There we go. And now God bends to my will. Now, the cameras are waiting at your ship for the world to see the holes in the holy! Yes, the almighty comes clean about how dirty he is when it counts! To save Martha, bring me the head of the Bat! [''Luthor's helicopter comes to pick him up''] Ah, mother of God, would you look at the time? When you came here, you had an hour. Now it's less. ---- :'''Superman''': [''To Lois about to enter taxi''] Lois. I have to go back to Gotham to convince him to help me. :'''Lois''': Who? :'''Superman''': Or he has to die. :'''Lois''': Clark. :'''Superman''': No one stays good in this world. [''Flies up''] ---- :'''Batman''': [''Superman flies down''] Well, here I am. :'''Superman''': Bruce. Please. I was wrong. You have to listen to me. Lex wants us to... [''Gets ambushed by two sound cannons which he destroys using halves of manhole covers and they walk towards each other''] You don't understand! There's no time! :'''Batman''': '''I understand!''' [''Superman shoves him flying backwards setting off a fight''] :'''Superman''': Stay down! If I wanted it, you'd be dead already! :'''Batman''': [''After discharging kryptonite powder into Superman's face''] Breathe it in. That's fear. You're not brave. Men are brave. [''Dragging Superman after a fight''] I bet your parents taught you that you mean something. That you're here for a reason. My parents taught me a different lesson, dying in the gutter for no reason at all. They taught me the world only makes sense if you force it to. [''Foot pressing on Superman's neck and raising his Kryptonite spike''] You were never a god. You were never even a man. :'''Superman''': [''Straining''] You're&ndash; letting him&ndash; k-kill Martha&ndash; :'''Batman''': [''Shocked and lowers spear''] What does that mean? Why did you say that name? :'''Superman''': [''Choking''] Find&ndash; him&ndash; S-save&ndash; M-Martha&ndash; :''[Brief flashback to the death of Bruce's parents]'' :'''Batman''': '''''WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?! MARTHA?! WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?!''''' :'''Lois Lane''': [''Runs towards them both''] Clark! Stop! Please! Stop! :'''Batman''': '''''WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?!''''' :'''Lois Lane''': ''It's his mother's name''! It's his mother's name. ---- :''[Batman breaks into a room, subdues the last mercenary and aims the man's machine gun at Knyazev.]'' :'''[[w:KGBeast|Anatoli Knyazev]]''': [''Holding a flamethrower on Martha Kent''] Drop it. ''I said drop it!'' I'll kill her! '''''Believe me, I'll do it!''''' :'''Batman''': I believe you. :[''He fires a single shot from the machine gun, piercing the napalm tank on Knyazev's back. Before Knyazev can trigger the flamethrower, Batman throws himself on Martha, shielding them both from the flames as the tank explodes, killing Knyazev.''] :'''Batman''': It's okay. I'm a friend of your son. :'''[[w:Jonathan and Martha Kent|Martha Kent]]''': I figured. The cape. ---- :'''Lex''': [''Superman drops in''] [[w:Alice in Wonderland|Late, late says the white rabbit]]. [''Turns to face Superman''] Right, wabbit? Hmm, out of tricks, out of time. And one bat head short. Ah, that'll be the cook. [''Walks over to phone''] Uh, Gotham roast. Well done. [''turns on speaker''] Hello. Break the bad news. :'''Batman''': I'd rather do the breaking in person. :'''Superman''': You've lost. :'''Lex''': I don't know how to lose. :'''Superman''': You'll learn. :'''Lex''': [''Mimics''] I'll learn. [''Normal voice''] I don't hate the sinner. I hate the sin. And yours, my friend, is existing. I cannot let you win. I gave the Bat a fighting chance to do it, but he was not strong enough. So, if man won't kill God... the devil will do it! [''Does a Frankenstein-esque birthing of life with intense electrical shocks''] Ancient Kryptonian deformity! Hmm. Blood of my blood! [''Abomination stirs and roars in its [[w:amniotic sac|amniotic sac]]''] Born to destroy you! [''Motions to abomination''] Your doomsday. [''Abomination births from amniotic sac''] Now God good is as dead. ---- :'''Wonder Woman''': [''As they battle [[w:Doomsday (comics)|Doomsday]] amidst ruins''] Why did you bring him back to the city? :'''Batman''': The port is abandoned. There's a weapon here that can kill it. :'''Superman''': ''[Landing in front of Batman]'' Did you find the spear? :'''Batman''': I've been a little busy. :'''Wonder Woman''': This thing, this creature, seems to feed on energy. :'''Superman''': This thing is from another world... My world. :'''Wonder Woman''': [''Draws her sword''] I've killed things from other worlds before. :'''Superman''': [''Curious, turning his head to Batman''] Is she with you? :'''Batman''': I thought she was with you. ---- :[''Lois helps Superman out of the water after tossing aside the kryptonite spear. They kiss briefly before Superman sees Wonder Woman slicing off Doomsday's arm after a struggle''] :'''Superman''': [''To Lois''] I love you. :'''Lois Lane''': No, Clark, you can't. :'''Superman''': This is my world. :'''Lois Lane''': No, Clark, ''don't-'' :[''Superman smiles one last time to Lois''] :'''Superman''': [''Last words''] You'' are my world. [''Flies to pick up the spear and charges headlong towards Doomsday''] :'''Lois''': Please, ''CLARK''! ---- :'''Bruce Wayne''': All the circuses back east &ndash; burying an empty box. :'''Diana Prince''': They don't know how to honor him. Except as a soldier. :'''Bruce Wayne''': I've failed him&ndash; in life. I won't fail him in death. Help me find the others like you. :'''Diana Prince''': Perhaps they don't want to be found. :'''Bruce Wayne''': They will. And they'll fight. We have to stand together. :'''Diana Prince''': A hundred years ago I walked away from mankind &ndash; from a century of horrors. Man made a world where standing together is impossible. :'''Bruce Wayne''': Men are still good. We fight. We kill. We betray one another. But we can rebuild. We can do better. We will. We have to. :''[Scene of [[w:funeral|funeral ceremony]] and [[w:graffiti|graffiti]]; '''IF YOU SEEK HIS MONUMENT LOOK AROUND YOU''']'' :'''Diana Prince''': The others like me. Why did you say they'll have to fight? :'''Bruce Wayne''': Just a feeling. ---- :'''Prison guard''': [''Approaches Lex's cell''] Prisoner A-23-19-40. The warden wants to speak to you so stand to your feet. [''Lex ignores him''] I'm going to say this one more time. [''Repeats first command line and Lex reluctantly gets up''] Turn around and face the wall. Place your forehead against the wall. Put your hands behind your back so I can come in and restrain you. [''Lights start flickering becoming dark with emergency white and red lights with the two guards replaced by Batman who approaches Lex enragedly''] :'''Batman''': Whatever you do, wherever you go, '''I'll be watching you!''' [''Holds up [[w:Brass knuckles|a knuckleduster]] with a burning bat shaped brand that initiates the Ultimate Edition dialogue''] :'''Lex Luthor''': [''Unfazed''] Oh. Look at us. This is how it all caves in. Civilization on the Wayne Manor's&ndash; out the window. Hmm. ''[Lex briefly chuckles]'' But who would believe me? I&ndash; Ahh&ndash; I'm insane. I'm not even fit to stand trial. :'''Batman''': That's right. We have hospitals that treat the mentally ill with compassion. ''[Lex giggles]'' But that's not where you're going. I arranged for you to get a transfer to Arkham Asylum in Gotham. I still have some friends there. ''They're expecting you''. :[''Ultimate Edition dialogue ends''] :'''Lex Luthor''': [''Sneers, unfazed''] But the bell's already been rung. And they've heard it. Out in the dark, among the stars&ndash; ding dong, the god is dead. [''Batman punches at Lex revealed to be striking the wall next to him and leaves a burning bat symbol, suddenly disappearing with the regular lights coming back on''] :'''Lex Luthor''': [''Alone in his cell then pokes face in bars announcing generally''] But a bell cannot be un-rung! [[w:Darkseid|He's]] hungry. He's found us. '''AND HE'S COMING!''' [''Repeatedly''] Ding... == Cast == * [[Ben Affleck]] &ndash; [[w:Bruce Wayne|Bruce Wayne]] / [[Batman]] * [[w:Henry Cavill|Henry Cavill]] &ndash; [[w:Clark Kent|Clark Kent]] / [[Superman]] * [[Amy Adams]] &ndash; [[w:Lois Lane|Lois Lane]] * [[w:Jesse Eisenberg|Jesse Eisenberg]] &ndash; [[w:Lex Luthor|Lex Luthor]] * [[w:Diane Lane|Diane Lane]] &ndash; [[w:Martha Kent|Martha Kent]] * [[w:Laurence Fishburne|Laurence Fishburne]] &ndash; [[w:Perry White (comics)|Perry White]] * [[Jeremy Irons]] &ndash; [[w:Alfred Pennyworth|Alfred Pennyworth]] * [[w:Holly Hunter|Holly Hunter]] &ndash; Senator June Finch * [[Gal Gadot]] &ndash; [[w:Wonder Woman|Diana Prince]] / [[Wonder Woman]] * [[w:Tao Okamoto|Tao Okamoto]] &ndash; [[w:Mercy Graves|Mercy Graves]] * [[w:Callan Mulvey|Callan Mulvey]] - [[wikipedia:KGBeast|Anatoli Knyazev]] == See also == * ''[[Man of Steel (film)]]'' * ''[[Zack Snyder's Justice League]]'' == External links == {{Wikipedia}} {{Commonscat}} * {{Official website|http://www.batmanvsupermandawnofjustice.com}} * {{IMDb title|2975590|Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice}} * {{rotten-tomatoes|id=batman_v_superman_dawn_of_justice|title=Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice}} *{{wikipedia-inline}} {{Batman}} {{Authority control}} [[Category:2016 films]] [[Category:Action films]] [[Category:2010s American films]] [[Category:Comic book films]] [[Category:Crime films]] [[Category:Drama films]] [[Category:Sequel films]] [[Category:Films directed by Zack Snyder]] [[Category:DC Extended Universe]] [[Category:Neo-noir]] [[Category:Screenplays by Chris Terrio]] [[Category:Screenplays by David S. Goyer]] [[Category:Batman films]] [[Category:Superman films]] [[Category:Thriller films]] [[Category:Superhero crossover films]] [[Category:Films set in a fictional country]] pwudioilmah1z850s1ew8ioz8b3h4ls 0 186948 3942169 2124106 2026-05-17T20:51:36Z Ringbang 4436 retargeted to section 3942169 wikitext text/x-wiki #REDIRECT [[Lucy Maud Montgomery#Anne of Windy Poplars (1936)]] ed0y34v438c8ct7u9ow34bfd3lsf9my 0 186999 3942191 3939734 2026-05-17T21:33:08Z ~2026-29315-06 3322427 3942191 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} ---- :'''Seasons:''' [[We Bare Bears (season 1)|1]] [[We Bare Bears (season 2)|2]] [[We Bare Bears (season 3)|3]] [[We Bare Bears (season 4)|4]] | [[We Bare Bears: The Movie|Film]] | [[We Baby Bears]] | [[We Bare Bears|Main]] ---- '''''We Bare Bears''''', otherwise referred to as '''''We Bears''''', ''''Bears'''' or '''''Bear''''' for short, is an American animated sitcom created by [[Daniel Chong]]. It follows three bears, Grizzly (a grizzly bear), Panda (a giant panda) and Ice Bear (a polar bear), and their awkward attempts at integrating with the human world in the [[San Francisco Bay Area]]. == Pilot (2014) == :''[A bear named Grizzly laughs as he watches a live-action video of a bear scratching his back against a tree. He takes a drink from a Diet Soda bottle. As some soda accidentally spills on his desk, he attempts to wipe it off with his arm]'' :'''Grizzly''': ''[laughs]'' Hey Panda! ''['''BURP!!!''']'' Excuse me. Check out this guy! Hey, you gotta see this! Panda? :''[Grizzly scoots his chair around the house, in an attempt to find Panda]'' :'''Grizzly''': Panda? Panda? :''[Cut to his little brother, Ice Bear, inside of the fridge]'' :'''Grizzly''': Hey, have you seen Panda? :''[Ice Bear lifts his shoulders, signaling an "I don't know."]'' :'''Grizzly''': Hm. :''[Their brother, Panda is heard in the distance, singing. Cut to Panda in the closet, playing with a guitar game controller]'' :'''Panda''': ''[singing]'' Why did you sit on my heart, and hurt me so bad? Lady! :'''Grizzly''': '' [knocks on the door] Hey Panda, are you in the closet?'' :'''Panda''': Um, no! No, nobody's here! :'''Grizzly''': Why'd you lock the door, little brother? :'''Panda''': ''I just need some alone time.'' :'''Grizzly''': Is this- are you still bummed your internet girlfriend broke up with you? :'''Panda''': ''No.'' :'''Grizzly''': Panda! :'''Panda''': ''Maybe.'' :'''Grizzly''': ''[He groans]'' You gotta let that go, man! ''[Ice Bear swings his axe at the closet door]'' Cheer up! There are plenty of other girls out there! You're a Panda! You're cute. You're cuddly. [[Kung Fu Panda|You know kung-fu]]. :'''Panda''': ''But I don't know kung-fu!'' :'''Grizzly''': Yeah, you know what I mean. ''[Panda scrolls through some texts on his phone while Grizzly tries to console him. Panda has texted "Hello?" several times to Susan, his ex-girlfriend, until Susan had texted back "It's over."]'' ''[muffled] Come on, Panda, let's go do something fun. You can just forget about that online lady friend, that are bad buds all around her, she's just broken inside, okay? Don't be a sucker, Pan-Pan.'' :'''Panda''': You don't know my life! :'''Grizzly''': I got it! We could take pictures of ourselves with record albums as our faces! :'''Panda''': ''No!'' :'''Grizzly''': We could shave our names on our backs again! :'''Panda''': ''No!'' :'''Grizzly''': [[w:Ice cream|Ice Cream]]? :'''Panda''': ''[finally opens the door]'' [[w:Chocolate ice cream|Chocolate]]? :'''Grizzly''': Yup. :'''Panda''': Triple scoop? :'''Grizzly''': Sure. :'''Panda''': Okay. :'''Ice Bear''': ''[throws his axe on the ground]'' Ice Bear will drive. == Seasons == ::[[We Bare Bears (season 1)|Season 1]] ::[[We Bare Bears (season 2)|Season 2]] ::[[We Bare Bears (season 3)|Season 3]] ::[[We Bare Bears (season 4)|Season 4]] == Film == * [[We Bare Bears: The Movie]] == Spin-Off Series == *[[We Baby Bears]] ==Voice cast== * {{w|Eric Edelstein}} – Grizzly * {{w|Bobby Moynihan}} – Panda * {{w|Demetri Martin}} – Ice Bear * {{w|Charlyne Yi}} – Chloe Park * {{w|Malcolm McDowell}} - Professor Lampwick * {{w|Niki Yang}} - Mrs. Park * {{w|Jinkoo Jeong}} - Mr. Park * {{w|Cameron Esposito}} - Ranger Tabes * {{w|Keith Ferguson}} - Little Bear, Ranger Martinez, The Mailman * {{w|Cedric Yarbrough}} - Mr. Sacher * {{w|Mel Rodriguez}} - Darrell * {{w|Ellie Kemper}} - Lucy * {{w|Hudson West}} - Clifford * {{w|"Weird Al" Yankovic}} - Lewis * {{w|Felicia Day}} - Carla * {{w|Jake Johnson}} - Dave * {{w|Grey DeLisle}} - Annie * {{w|Lou Ferrigno}} - Paul * {{w|Darin De Paul}} - Yuri * {{w|Margarita Levieva}} - Yana * {{w|Kevin McHale}} - Barry * {{w|Ron Funches}} - Wyatt * {{w|Bert Youn}} - Tom * {{w|Jason Mantzoukas}} - Mad Scientist * {{w|Stephanie Sheh}} - Saiyuri * {{w|Patton Oswalt}} – Nom Nom * {{w|Bo Burnham}} - Andy Bangs * {{w|Rhys Darby}} - Kyle * {{w|Jason Lee}} – Charlie * {{w|John DiMaggio}} - Ralph * {{w|Dee Bradley Baker}} - Captain Craboo, The Demon, Cougar Kitten, Cougar Family, Kirk, Gary * {{w|Sam Lavagnino}} - Baby Grizzly * {{w|Duncan Joiner}} - Baby Panda, Baby Ice Bear ==External links== {{wikipedia}} * [http://webarebears.wikia.com/wiki/We_Bare_Bears_Wiki] – We Bare Bears Wiki page {{Authority control}} [[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]] [[Category:2010s American sitcoms]] [[Category:American animated sitcoms]] [[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]] [[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]] [[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]] [[Category:We Bare Bears]] [[Category:Television series on DVD]] [[Category:Cancelled shows]] [[Category:Cartoon Network original series]] [[Category:Television series by Cartoon Network Studios]] [[Category:Teletoon shows]] [[Category:Animated TV shows about bears]] [[Category:TV shows about pandas]] [[Category:Animated TV shows about brothers]] h414xiy5i3c0yvppt27e8g8gmeg3852 3942192 3942191 2026-05-17T21:33:15Z ~2026-29315-06 3322427 3942192 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} ---- :'''Seasons:''' [[We Bare Bears (season 1)|1]] [[We Bare Bears (season 2)|2]] [[We Bare Bears (season 3)|3]] [[We Bare Bears (season 4)|4]] | [[We Bare Bears: The Movie|Film]] | [[We Baby Bears]] | [[We Bare Bears|Main]] ---- '''''We Bare Bears''''', otherwise referred to as '''''We Bears''''', '''''Bears''''' or '''''Bear''''' for short, is an American animated sitcom created by [[Daniel Chong]]. It follows three bears, Grizzly (a grizzly bear), Panda (a giant panda) and Ice Bear (a polar bear), and their awkward attempts at integrating with the human world in the [[San Francisco Bay Area]]. == Pilot (2014) == :''[A bear named Grizzly laughs as he watches a live-action video of a bear scratching his back against a tree. He takes a drink from a Diet Soda bottle. As some soda accidentally spills on his desk, he attempts to wipe it off with his arm]'' :'''Grizzly''': ''[laughs]'' Hey Panda! ''['''BURP!!!''']'' Excuse me. Check out this guy! Hey, you gotta see this! Panda? :''[Grizzly scoots his chair around the house, in an attempt to find Panda]'' :'''Grizzly''': Panda? Panda? :''[Cut to his little brother, Ice Bear, inside of the fridge]'' :'''Grizzly''': Hey, have you seen Panda? :''[Ice Bear lifts his shoulders, signaling an "I don't know."]'' :'''Grizzly''': Hm. :''[Their brother, Panda is heard in the distance, singing. Cut to Panda in the closet, playing with a guitar game controller]'' :'''Panda''': ''[singing]'' Why did you sit on my heart, and hurt me so bad? Lady! :'''Grizzly''': '' [knocks on the door] Hey Panda, are you in the closet?'' :'''Panda''': Um, no! No, nobody's here! :'''Grizzly''': Why'd you lock the door, little brother? :'''Panda''': ''I just need some alone time.'' :'''Grizzly''': Is this- are you still bummed your internet girlfriend broke up with you? :'''Panda''': ''No.'' :'''Grizzly''': Panda! :'''Panda''': ''Maybe.'' :'''Grizzly''': ''[He groans]'' You gotta let that go, man! ''[Ice Bear swings his axe at the closet door]'' Cheer up! There are plenty of other girls out there! You're a Panda! You're cute. You're cuddly. [[Kung Fu Panda|You know kung-fu]]. :'''Panda''': ''But I don't know kung-fu!'' :'''Grizzly''': Yeah, you know what I mean. ''[Panda scrolls through some texts on his phone while Grizzly tries to console him. Panda has texted "Hello?" several times to Susan, his ex-girlfriend, until Susan had texted back "It's over."]'' ''[muffled] Come on, Panda, let's go do something fun. You can just forget about that online lady friend, that are bad buds all around her, she's just broken inside, okay? Don't be a sucker, Pan-Pan.'' :'''Panda''': You don't know my life! :'''Grizzly''': I got it! We could take pictures of ourselves with record albums as our faces! :'''Panda''': ''No!'' :'''Grizzly''': We could shave our names on our backs again! :'''Panda''': ''No!'' :'''Grizzly''': [[w:Ice cream|Ice Cream]]? :'''Panda''': ''[finally opens the door]'' [[w:Chocolate ice cream|Chocolate]]? :'''Grizzly''': Yup. :'''Panda''': Triple scoop? :'''Grizzly''': Sure. :'''Panda''': Okay. :'''Ice Bear''': ''[throws his axe on the ground]'' Ice Bear will drive. == Seasons == ::[[We Bare Bears (season 1)|Season 1]] ::[[We Bare Bears (season 2)|Season 2]] ::[[We Bare Bears (season 3)|Season 3]] ::[[We Bare Bears (season 4)|Season 4]] == Film == * [[We Bare Bears: The Movie]] == Spin-Off Series == *[[We Baby Bears]] ==Voice cast== * {{w|Eric Edelstein}} – Grizzly * {{w|Bobby Moynihan}} – Panda * {{w|Demetri Martin}} – Ice Bear * {{w|Charlyne Yi}} – Chloe Park * {{w|Malcolm McDowell}} - Professor Lampwick * {{w|Niki Yang}} - Mrs. Park * {{w|Jinkoo Jeong}} - Mr. Park * {{w|Cameron Esposito}} - Ranger Tabes * {{w|Keith Ferguson}} - Little Bear, Ranger Martinez, The Mailman * {{w|Cedric Yarbrough}} - Mr. Sacher * {{w|Mel Rodriguez}} - Darrell * {{w|Ellie Kemper}} - Lucy * {{w|Hudson West}} - Clifford * {{w|"Weird Al" Yankovic}} - Lewis * {{w|Felicia Day}} - Carla * {{w|Jake Johnson}} - Dave * {{w|Grey DeLisle}} - Annie * {{w|Lou Ferrigno}} - Paul * {{w|Darin De Paul}} - Yuri * {{w|Margarita Levieva}} - Yana * {{w|Kevin McHale}} - Barry * {{w|Ron Funches}} - Wyatt * {{w|Bert Youn}} - Tom * {{w|Jason Mantzoukas}} - Mad Scientist * {{w|Stephanie Sheh}} - Saiyuri * {{w|Patton Oswalt}} – Nom Nom * {{w|Bo Burnham}} - Andy Bangs * {{w|Rhys Darby}} - Kyle * {{w|Jason Lee}} – Charlie * {{w|John DiMaggio}} - Ralph * {{w|Dee Bradley Baker}} - Captain Craboo, The Demon, Cougar Kitten, Cougar Family, Kirk, Gary * {{w|Sam Lavagnino}} - Baby Grizzly * {{w|Duncan Joiner}} - Baby Panda, Baby Ice Bear ==External links== {{wikipedia}} * [http://webarebears.wikia.com/wiki/We_Bare_Bears_Wiki] – We Bare Bears Wiki page {{Authority control}} [[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]] [[Category:2010s American sitcoms]] [[Category:American animated sitcoms]] [[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]] [[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]] [[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]] [[Category:We Bare Bears]] [[Category:Television series on DVD]] [[Category:Cancelled shows]] [[Category:Cartoon Network original series]] [[Category:Television series by Cartoon Network Studios]] [[Category:Teletoon shows]] [[Category:Animated TV shows about bears]] [[Category:TV shows about pandas]] [[Category:Animated TV shows about brothers]] fplf586sqgb21w2czvwmglb87otfaxq 3942193 3942192 2026-05-17T21:35:10Z ~2026-29315-06 3322427 3942193 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} ---- :'''Seasons:''' [[We Bare Bears (season 1)|1]] [[We Bare Bears (season 2)|2]] [[We Bare Bears (season 3)|3]] [[We Bare Bears (season 4)|4]] | [[We Bare Bears: The Movie|Film]] | [[We Baby Bears]] | [[We Bare Bears|Main]] ---- '''''We Bare Bears''''', otherwise referred to as '''''Bare Bears''''', '''''We Bears''''', '''''Bare Bear''''', '''''Bears''''' or '''''Bear''''' for short, is an American animated sitcom created by [[Daniel Chong]]. It follows three bears, Grizzly (a grizzly bear), Panda (a giant panda) and Ice Bear (a polar bear), and their awkward attempts at integrating with the human world in the [[San Francisco Bay Area]]. == Pilot (2014) == :''[A bear named Grizzly laughs as he watches a live-action video of a bear scratching his back against a tree. He takes a drink from a Diet Soda bottle. As some soda accidentally spills on his desk, he attempts to wipe it off with his arm]'' :'''Grizzly''': ''[laughs]'' Hey Panda! ''['''BURP!!!''']'' Excuse me. Check out this guy! Hey, you gotta see this! Panda? :''[Grizzly scoots his chair around the house, in an attempt to find Panda]'' :'''Grizzly''': Panda? Panda? :''[Cut to his little brother, Ice Bear, inside of the fridge]'' :'''Grizzly''': Hey, have you seen Panda? :''[Ice Bear lifts his shoulders, signaling an "I don't know."]'' :'''Grizzly''': Hm. :''[Their brother, Panda is heard in the distance, singing. Cut to Panda in the closet, playing with a guitar game controller]'' :'''Panda''': ''[singing]'' Why did you sit on my heart, and hurt me so bad? Lady! :'''Grizzly''': '' [knocks on the door] Hey Panda, are you in the closet?'' :'''Panda''': Um, no! No, nobody's here! :'''Grizzly''': Why'd you lock the door, little brother? :'''Panda''': ''I just need some alone time.'' :'''Grizzly''': Is this- are you still bummed your internet girlfriend broke up with you? :'''Panda''': ''No.'' :'''Grizzly''': Panda! :'''Panda''': ''Maybe.'' :'''Grizzly''': ''[He groans]'' You gotta let that go, man! ''[Ice Bear swings his axe at the closet door]'' Cheer up! There are plenty of other girls out there! You're a Panda! You're cute. You're cuddly. [[Kung Fu Panda|You know kung-fu]]. :'''Panda''': ''But I don't know kung-fu!'' :'''Grizzly''': Yeah, you know what I mean. ''[Panda scrolls through some texts on his phone while Grizzly tries to console him. Panda has texted "Hello?" several times to Susan, his ex-girlfriend, until Susan had texted back "It's over."]'' ''[muffled] Come on, Panda, let's go do something fun. You can just forget about that online lady friend, that are bad buds all around her, she's just broken inside, okay? Don't be a sucker, Pan-Pan.'' :'''Panda''': You don't know my life! :'''Grizzly''': I got it! We could take pictures of ourselves with record albums as our faces! :'''Panda''': ''No!'' :'''Grizzly''': We could shave our names on our backs again! :'''Panda''': ''No!'' :'''Grizzly''': [[w:Ice cream|Ice Cream]]? :'''Panda''': ''[finally opens the door]'' [[w:Chocolate ice cream|Chocolate]]? :'''Grizzly''': Yup. :'''Panda''': Triple scoop? :'''Grizzly''': Sure. :'''Panda''': Okay. :'''Ice Bear''': ''[throws his axe on the ground]'' Ice Bear will drive. == Seasons == ::[[We Bare Bears (season 1)|Season 1]] ::[[We Bare Bears (season 2)|Season 2]] ::[[We Bare Bears (season 3)|Season 3]] ::[[We Bare Bears (season 4)|Season 4]] == Film == * [[We Bare Bears: The Movie]] == Spin-Off Series == *[[We Baby Bears]] ==Voice cast== * {{w|Eric Edelstein}} – Grizzly * {{w|Bobby Moynihan}} – Panda * {{w|Demetri Martin}} – Ice Bear * {{w|Charlyne Yi}} – Chloe Park * {{w|Malcolm McDowell}} - Professor Lampwick * {{w|Niki Yang}} - Mrs. Park * {{w|Jinkoo Jeong}} - Mr. Park * {{w|Cameron Esposito}} - Ranger Tabes * {{w|Keith Ferguson}} - Little Bear, Ranger Martinez, The Mailman * {{w|Cedric Yarbrough}} - Mr. Sacher * {{w|Mel Rodriguez}} - Darrell * {{w|Ellie Kemper}} - Lucy * {{w|Hudson West}} - Clifford * {{w|"Weird Al" Yankovic}} - Lewis * {{w|Felicia Day}} - Carla * {{w|Jake Johnson}} - Dave * {{w|Grey DeLisle}} - Annie * {{w|Lou Ferrigno}} - Paul * {{w|Darin De Paul}} - Yuri * {{w|Margarita Levieva}} - Yana * {{w|Kevin McHale}} - Barry * {{w|Ron Funches}} - Wyatt * {{w|Bert Youn}} - Tom * {{w|Jason Mantzoukas}} - Mad Scientist * {{w|Stephanie Sheh}} - Saiyuri * {{w|Patton Oswalt}} – Nom Nom * {{w|Bo Burnham}} - Andy Bangs * {{w|Rhys Darby}} - Kyle * {{w|Jason Lee}} – Charlie * {{w|John DiMaggio}} - Ralph * {{w|Dee Bradley Baker}} - Captain Craboo, The Demon, Cougar Kitten, Cougar Family, Kirk, Gary * {{w|Sam Lavagnino}} - Baby Grizzly * {{w|Duncan Joiner}} - Baby Panda, Baby Ice Bear ==External links== {{wikipedia}} * [http://webarebears.wikia.com/wiki/We_Bare_Bears_Wiki] – We Bare Bears Wiki page {{Authority control}} [[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]] [[Category:2010s American sitcoms]] [[Category:American animated sitcoms]] [[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]] [[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]] [[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]] [[Category:We Bare Bears]] [[Category:Television series on DVD]] [[Category:Cancelled shows]] [[Category:Cartoon Network original series]] [[Category:Television series by Cartoon Network Studios]] [[Category:Teletoon shows]] [[Category:Animated TV shows about bears]] [[Category:TV shows about pandas]] [[Category:Animated TV shows about brothers]] jb52ntsnrezoiqppgkyfvxetrpx9tgj 0 188620 3942071 3904840 2026-05-17T14:19:48Z Afriquedem 3323460 reference links 3942071 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Angelique Rockas (Victorian).jpg|thumb|Angelique Rockas in 1990]] '''[[w:Angelique Rockas|Angelique Rockas]]''' (born 31 August 1951 in Boksburg) is a South African Greek actress, producer and activist. Rockas founded [[w:Internationalist Theatre|Internationalist Theatre]] in the UK with patron [[w:Athol Fugard|Athol Fugard]]. The theatre featured multi-racial casts in classical plays, breaking racial barriers that were once accepted norms for theatrical performances.<ref>{{Cite web | title=Editorial: Autumn Term 2 2021-22 | website=Drama and Theatre | date=2021-10-01 | archive-url=https://archive.today/20211016134435/https://www.dramaandtheatre.co.uk/opinion/article/editorial-autumn-term-2-2021-22 | url=https://www.dramaandtheatre.co.uk/opinion/article/editorial-autumn-term-2-2021-22 | archive-date=2021-10-16}}</ref><ref>{{Cite web | title=Practitioner focus: Angelique Rockas {{!}} Drama And Theatre | url=https://www.dramaandtheatre.co.uk/practical/article/practitioner-focus-angelique-rockas | archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20211016145618/https://www.dramaandtheatre.co.uk/practical/article/practitioner-focus-angelique-rockas | archive-date=2021-10-16 | access-date=2025-08-25}}</ref><ref>[http://collections-search.bfi.org.uk/web/Details/ChoiceArchive/110078562 BFI archive profile]</ref> ==Quotes == ===[[w:The Star (South Africa)|The Star (South Africa)]] July 1973 === * I know I`m headstrong . <small>[ https://www.flickr.com/photos/angelique_rockas/36332040245/in/album-72157628999493127 Online text ]</small> ===Interview on Helenism .net (September 2011)=== <small>[https://web.archive.org/web/20150211054344/http://www.hellenism.net/interview_angelique-rockas.html Online text ]</small> *As an actress I decided that I was not going to accept being cast in token ethnic roles in film or on TV, nor act any parts that I considered demeaned the portrayal of a non-British character. To illustrate this point; after seeing me perform Tatiana in Gorky’s [[w:Enemies(play) |Enemies(play)]] the well-known TV director, and very nice man, Chris Menaul offered me the role of the main Russian air hostess in a Malcolm Bradbury BBC TV series. He was taken aback when I turned the part down as I didn’t have any TV credits. I gave some excuse ‘that I thought the part vulgar” but the real reason was that Bradbury had portrayed the Russian air-hostesses in what I considered in a cliched demeaning way and involved a little Russia bashing. I have recently sent him a real explanation via his agent. ** On the rejection of casting ethnic stereotypes *My first tentative efforts in creating my theatre company were mounting John Ford’s [[w:`Tis Pity She’s a Whore|`Tis Pity She`s a Whore]] ”. I asked people for money for my production, even as I found myself canvassing for another cause. This production was not the totally multi-racial cast that I had hoped for but did consist of actors from other cultures and differing accents, and also achieved a very high level of production value and rave reviews. It also provided the springboard for the extremely talented director/ designer couple [[w:Declan Donnellan|Declan Donnellan]] and Nicolas Ormerod, who went onto creating the now world famous Cheek by Jowl company. ** On first venture into producing 'Tis Pity She`s a Whore` and what ensued. * As a little girl my mother used to take me with her to her fittings with her very expensive seamstress. I was dazzled by the beauty of the fabrics and the whole procedure. I still remember the feel of expensive taffeta. ** On the beauty of fabrics * I myself have experienced the volcanic existential depths of the Greek language. It was during a performance of Medea by Tzeni Karezi at the Herod Atticus theatre in Athens ,when she was pleading to the callous Jason to take pity on her and she used the word ' splachniasou'. 'Pity' is too weak a word to describe the emotional and psychological depths ' splachniasou' expresses. 'Splachna 'is the part of the body where a woman carries her unborn children, the very root of ontological existence. How deep can you get! ** On the Greek language *the great comedic film director [[w: Thodoros Marangos |Thodoros Maragos ]], of the well known film 'Mathe Paedi mou Grammata!' wrote a part specially for me , Ms Ortiki in his 12 part [[w:ERT1|ERT1 ]] television series "Emmones Idees". ** Work in the Greek Language * [[w:Theatro Technis|Theatro Technis]] in North London, where the issues of prejudice against immigrants, the poor, the illiterate were dramatised , and more urgently the exploration of the war crime that constituted the illegal invasion by the Turkish military of CYPRUS, and for which the USA ( especially the diabolical Kissinger ) and the UK had little concern, as the president of Cyprus was the Orthodox Archbishop Makarios, who had the reputation of being a bit of a red.<br>This was a theatre company that practiced political theatre in its purest form! I found myself performing a Greek Cypriot peasant woman driven from her land in the North of Cyprus and expressing her grief at the loss of her home in front of an audience that included refugees who had suffered the same fate but had managed to escape to London. The tears just flowed naturally. It was also at this theatre that I tackled the Mount Everest of acting parts – [[w:Medea(play)|Medea(play)]] by [[w:Euripides |Euripides]], and which I performed to great reviews and was the performance that put me on the London map as an actress. The whole play was interpreted politically. ** On work at Theatro Technis and playing [[w:Medea(play) |Medea(play)]] *Many of the Greek journalists and TV presenters also seem to share this "progressive intellectualism" which leads Greeks to having to apologize for being Orthodox- What a load of rubbish! Prof Yiannaras with whom I have corresponded then continues with the frightening story about 'the predicted and inevitable and desirable Latinization of our Greek alphabet" quoted by an anonymous source in a periodical Samizdat . Let's get this straight both Greece as well as the Balkan countries that have Kyrilic alphabets should fiercely resist Latinization . ** Objection to Latinization * Part of my Greek heritage: The call of resistance to the Nazis, when all mainland Europe had succumbed, it was only Greece my Antigone, who resisted and was starved for it. *My grandmother was a fearless Greek warrioress, and very protective of her land. She literally ordered some Nazi soldiers to get off one of her fields pointing a gun at them. ** On the Greek heritage to resist * ..the gift of Orthodoxia : The call by the Christ not to be just good moral and ethical beings, which is where the western Churches stop- but to go beyond that , to be 'theanthropic", to reflect the generosity and magnificence and beauty of the Christ. * A key moment of my spiritual epiphany was the tale told by the property manager of our apartment block, Mrs Marina. Every year on All Saints Day if I remember correctly, she commemorated the death of her son who died from an overdose. She baked some holy bread, antidoro, and then took it to her parish Church as an offering for evening vespers. When I asked Mrs Marina why she was doing this, she replied simply, "So that Christ speaks to my son and takes pity", as it is on this particular day it is believed that the Christ descends once again into the bowels of hell, not to defeat death this time as in Holy Saturday, but to keep company with the so called damned. For mothers like Mrs Marina fearful that their dead children might inhabit this nether world because of their sins, despair of redemption etc, Christ's visit provides some hope- that He might take pity on them and relieve them of their eternal punishment. Christ as the God that Unshackles the power of Hell and Death , the Resurrected Christ that even reaches out to the damned , and not the Christ of Deo Satisfactio of the heretical western Churches is one of the great glories of Greek Orthodoxy and of Orthodoxy as a whole. *... without New Testament Greek there would be no Christian Theology, or possibly no Christianity. The Athanasian Creed, the dogma of Christ the Homiousios, of the same essence as the Father , the dogma of Christ, fully God and Fully Human , The dogma of the Holy Trinity , 'that Christ is the incarnation of the indivisible source of the Divine Godhead through the power of the Holy Spirit " could only have been formulated by the Church Fathers within the linguistic structures and concepts provided by early century Greek language and thought., e.g concepts such as the God/man, a concept that which does not exist in the Hebrew and is totally foreign to Hebrew culture. Hence Shelley's assertion that the Greeks /the Hellenes "gave us our religion ". **On Orthodoxia * Apart from the greatness of Bizos for his role in the dismantling of apartheid, defending Mandela etc , he also manifested a genius in his role as a leading member of the conservative South African Greek community, by drawing historical parallels between the 400 years of slavery that Greece had suffered under the Ottoman Turks and the 300 years or so of repression and cruelty suffered by the Southern African black tribes and mixed race people under the British and then under the Nationalist Afrikaner rule. By using this strategy Bizos was able to balance his fight for justice in South Africa, and synchronously lead the very conservative Greek community in a more progressive direction. **On [[w:George Bizos |George Bizos]] * This is the place (Wits University) where the tension between my parents and myself on account of my political beliefs became pronounced. A photo of me standing at picket line on the WITS side of Jan Smuts avenue during one of the protests appeared in the "Star" newspaper. The local MP from the Nationalist Party Boksburg constituency saw it and made an ominous call to my parents "I didn't know that your daughter was communist!" and put the phone down on them. Of course I wasn't a "communist" but anyone who opposed the regime was automatically labeled as a communist. I ceased my political studies as I didn't wish to cause my parents any extra anxiety or stress . **On the force of the South African apartheid regime on anti-apartheid protest . * The reason the Internationalist Theatre productions demanded attention was that the directors who had already worked at top theatres like the Royal Court and the Royal Shakespeare Company had agreed to take the risk of directing classical plays with multi-racial casts , that the performance was of a very good standard, and furthermore that many prominent members of the arts establishment, [[w: Lindsay Anderson | Lindsay Anderson]], Cameron MacKintosh, John Barton, Richard Eyre, the great casting director Mary Selway, Stephen Berkoff, [[w: Nicolas Roeg| Nicolas Roeg]] , came to see performances by Internationalist Theatre. ** On Internationalist Theatre *Voulgaris asked me to find film funding for what was to be the last but unfinished film project of Elia Kazan,a personal friend of Voulgaris. The subject of the film was the immigration of the Kazan family from the beleaguered Greek minority communities under Turkish rule in Asia Minor to the safe haven of the USA where the Kazan family settled. I arranged a meeting between Elia Kazan and the London based film financier Frixos Constantini of Poseidon Films at the Grand Bretagne Hotel in Athens. What followed from this meeting is that Mr Constantini put Elia Kazan in touch with Martin Scorsese a personal friend of Mr Constantini and who also runs the production company Cappa films. And so it was that these two giants of US cinema met for the first time.<br>It is also because of these meetings that [[w: Pandelis Voulgaris | Paqndelis Voulgaris]] was able to make"The Brides". Elia Kazan was too old to get film insurance , so Kazan instead brought to Scorseses" the Voulgaris film project "The Brides" , and yet I have to this day never have had a thank you from him. So much for his saintly appearance. *...this is not the only time that I have stuck out my neck for a Greek film director. With [[w:Nikos Nikolaidis | Nikos Nikolaidis]] I introduced him to Mr Constantini as well , and undertook to send his XXX-rated movie `Singapore Sling` to two of the top film agents in the UK , Jenny Cassarotto and PDF who have now changed their name on account of a merger. Ms Cassarotto was indulgent, but the other agent was so shocked that he treated me as if I was peddling porn. The things I've done for Greece! **On helping Greek film directors find funding ===[[w:Cape Argus |Cape Argus ]] June 1983 === <small>[https://archive.org/details/capeargusinterviewangeliquerockas1983_202001 Online text ]</small> * By the time I got a permit I found that I liked being independent, that I like to do productions that I think are valuable . I did not want to feel that I had left South Africa, my parents and a comfortable life to do rubbishy work ** On creating valuable work === Parikiaki Newspaper, 1981 === <small>[https://ia801901.us.archive.org/30/items/InterviewAngeliqueRockasParakiakiHaravgi/Interview%20Angelique%20Rockas%20Parakiaki%20Haravgi.jpeg Online text ]</small> * I can say that my collaboration with [[w:Theatro Technis |Theatro Technis ]] was a serious milestone in my life. I had the chance to work with [[w:George Eugeniou |George Eugeniou ]] a great director who taught me a great deal ** On work at London`s Theatro Technis with George Eugeniou === [[w:Cape Argus |Cape Argus ]] Interview : A Female Richard 111 . She`s not off her Rockers (March 1985)=== <small>[https://archive.org/details/a-female-richard-111-shes-not-off-her-rockers Online text]</small> * They`re powerful parts- all the most powerful parts seem to be written for men....Hamlet has this existentialist crisis .I had one when I was 17. Women are not given that kind of philosophy in their parts" ** On wanting to portray Richard 111 and Hamlet ===The South African Interview : Angelique Rockas: Bold Theatre Pioneer (August 8, 2011) === <small>[https://archive.org/details/thesouthafricaninterviewangeliquerockasboldtheatrepioneer4 Online text]</small> *My search for justice grew out of the pain I experienced when I saw the ridicule my malformed brother elicited. I became aware of the evil that is prejudice, a form of injustice. *I arrived at as an undergraduate with two driving passions: a consuming interest for a politics of justice grounded in a Christian theology and acting, as a ‘revelation of the treasures of the human soul’ not as a form of exhibitionism. My search for justice grew out of the pain I experienced when I saw the ridicule my malformed brother elicited. I became aware of the evil that is prejudice, a form of injustice. My urge to redress this prejudice took a more social dimension during my years as a boarder at St Dominic’s Convent, where the great [[w:Barbara Hogan |Barbara Hogan]] matriculated a year later than me though I only got acquainted with her at Wits. *At the end of my course I realized there was no place for me in South Africa because I found it difficult to function in a society that considered 75% of population inferior, that my community frowned on me as an actress, and my beliefs for a non-racial society now incorporated a fight for the equality for women an anathema to my conservative Greek community. I did not want to spend my life apologizing for who I was. ** On leaving South Africa *Our first play in 1981 was Jean Genet’s [[w:The Balcony | The Balcony]] , a prophetic choice, set in Paris in turmoil, just as London was being torched during the Brixton riots, an explosion of racial tensions that had been simmering for some time. I insisted on casting a Caribbean actress to play the lead, Irma the Madam of the Brothel. *The ground breaking production of the company, and the point at which the cross-cultural casting began to bite, was Brecht’s anti-war play Mother Courage. Just one comment in a review by critic Malcolm Hay jolted us into the realisation that we were making history: Why is an Indian actor playing the Pastor? *The breaking of casting cliches also broke boundaries. A short, Latin-looking actress like me playing classical roles such as [[w: Miss Julie | Miss Julie]] , and playing them well, made casting directors uncomfortable. It was unheard of that a short, dark-haired actress of Greek temperament could play the aristocratic Miss Julie. Not beautiful or tall enough etc. It proved one of the best productions of Miss Julie ever seen in London. **On the formation of Internationalist Theatre. === [[w:Eleftherotypia |Eleftherotypia ]] August 1992=== <small>[https://archive.org/details/eleutherotypia-1_202110/Eleutherotypia%202.jpg Online text ] </small> *British theatre was xenophobic and tunnel visioned . There was a resistance to using actors from other ethnicities, cultures, and races in production of classics. And a resistance to the non realistic plays like those of Brecht, Genet and Tennessee Williams" **Views on British theatre on first arriving in London. === [[w: Vogue México y Latinoamérica| Vogue México y Latinoamérica ]] Interview: Una Actirz Multiplicada (July 1992) === <small>[https://archive.org/details/PdfVogueMexicoInterviewAngeliqueRockasMultiFacetedArtistENSpanishJuly1992 Online text]</small> * I'm known as the Greek warrioress...I come from a family of noble Greek women. My grandmother faced the Nazis during occupied Greece with a gun in her hand, and my mother is a veritable Hecuba, all strength and dignity." ** On the importance of family legacy * Morally, good theatre and film for that matter disturbs and unnerves us, tries to rid us of our cliched reactions to the world around us by expanding our sympathies, stretching our imaginations, and enriches us. * The great British 1950`s theatre critic Ken Tynnan, described the theatre as “an independent force at the country`s life , a sleeping tiger that can and should be roused whenever the national (or international) conscience needs nudging”. And [[w: Griselda Gambaro |Griselda Gambaro]]`s EL CAMPO does just that. It is a savage protest against the indignities imposed on modern man and woman by the impersonal bureaucracies and dictatorships in a language of poetic and startling originality. In the figure of Emma, the tortured artist, the part I played, we find expressed an outcry against the imprisonment of artists and the suppression of artistic freedom. **On the function of theatre *What is the role of the contemporary woman artist/actress, novelist, scriptwriter etc. etc.?<br>Women in the past have been the creators of the race, in the sense of procreation, a very noble and holy purpose I itself, but men have been the creators of culture, in the sense that we understand actress is over. Once you know what your objectives and values are, there can be no compromise. As founder and artistic director of Internationalist Theatre I was fulfilling both these functions. But, let me add, God help you if you are strong minded and an intellectual in England, where they are generally anti-intellectual and petrified of passionately held beliefs. They have given me such a rough ride you wouldn`t believe it. Tant Pis!!!!I`m not ashamed of spending six years at university, and I revel in intellectual discourse. I`m unashamedly high brow. And, as for fighting in a man`s domain, I`m known as the Greek warrioress, ha, ha ha...I come from a family of noble Greek women. My grandmother faced the Nazis during occupied Greece with a gun in her hand, and my mother is a veritable Hecuba, all strength and dignity. **On what is the role of the contemporary woman artist/actress, novelist, scriptwriter ** English translation of the Spanish language text === [[w:The Greekreporter.com |The Greekreporter.com ]] (July 2012 )=== <small>[https://greekreporter.com/2012/05/21/angelique-rockas-strong-bold-and-unafraid/ Online text ]</small> * follow motto by Cicero: “The life that nature has given us is brief, but the memory of a well spent life eternal.” ** On Motto ** ===TA NEA (London) Interview (June 1983)=== <small>[https://archive.org/details/686a7db87a61cd91a40ed458fc7cbffb Online text]</small> *I called my company "The Internationalist" because there are a lot of actors who are not English and are being prejudiced against, because they come from other countries. I don`t believe in accents or skin colour. My company has a very strong ethic of social justice to it . I try to incorporate actors from as many nationalities as possible." ** On why "I called my company "Internationalist"" *The first performance the company staged was Ford`s '`Tis Pity Shes a Whore'. It was well received. I like to choose the play, the directors, the designers.. it`s a total creative act. ** On the production of Ford`s Tis Pity She`s A Whore` *The thing I like about having a company is the academic side. Then you forget about the academic side once you`ve done the administration and you start creating. ** On the academic side of producing ==New Zealand News Uk (5th August 1981 )== <small>[https://archive.org/details/new-zealand-news-uk Online text]</small> *"Our mode of perception goes beyond that - we see all actors as people" ** On affirming `that there is no need for any actor to be of any particular race ` == External links == {{Wikipedia}} {{Commonscat}} *[https://archive.org/details/VogueMexcoCoverJuly1992 Angelique Rockas] Vogue Mexico & Latin America Interview: Una Actirz Multiplicada Spanish text 5 pages including editorial. *[https://www.academia.edu/33673771/The_Politicization_of_a_South_African_Greek_artistI]"The Complete Unpublished Extract Of Angelique Rockas` South African Journey Used As Basis For Interview With The South African and for Academia.edu article" *[https://archive.org/details/the-south-african-print-edition] The South African interview print edition *[https://www.academia.edu/33683666/Angelique_Rockas_Odyssey_as_Actress_and_Theatre_Practioner_docx Angelique Rockas Hellenism.Net Interview] on Academia.edu *[https://pantheon.world/profile/person/Angelique_Rockas/ ] Pantheon World/ Angelique Rockas *[https://www.npg.org.uk/collections/search/person/mp166709/angelique-rockas/] UK National Portrait Gallery - Angelique Rockas *[https://grokipedia.com/page/Angelique_Rockas] Grokipedia -Angelique Rockas {{DEFAULTSORT:Rockas, Angelique}} [[Category:1951 births]] [[Category:Living people]] [[Category:Actresses from South Africa]] [[Category:Actresses from the United Kingdom]] [[Category:Actresses from Greece]] [[Category:Film producers from South Africa]] [[Category:Anti-apartheid activists]] [[Category:Women born in the 1950s]] [[Category: Theatre producers]] efvp3pq2zbcufrca06x34blh1mljcq4 0 189896 3942025 3931236 2026-05-17T12:09:07Z ~2026-29653-62 3323486 /* Pilot [1.01] */ 3942025 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} ---- :'''Seasons:''' [[King of the Hill (season 1)|1]] [[King of the Hill (season 2)|2]] [[King of the Hill (season 3)|3]] [[King of the Hill (season 4)|4]] [[King of the Hill (season 5)|5]] [[King of the Hill (season 6)|6]] [[King of the Hill (season 7)|7]] [[King of the Hill (season 8)|8]] [[King of the Hill (season 9)|9]] [[King of the Hill (season 10)|10]] [[King of the Hill (season 11)|11]] [[King of the Hill (season 12)|12]] [[King of the Hill (season 13)|13]] [[King of the Hill (season 14)|14]] | [[King of the Hill|Main]] ---- '''''[[W:King of the Hill|King of the Hill]]''''' (1997-present) is an American adult animated sitcom that aired on Fox. The show centers around the Hill family, whose head is the ever-responsible, hard-working, loyal, disciplined, and honest Hank Hill. === ''[[w: Pilot (King of the Hill)|Pilot]]'' [1.01] === <hr width="50%"/> :'''Bill Dauterive''': ''[first lines]'' Yep. :'''Dale Gribble''': ''[first lines]'' Yep. :'''Hank Hill''': ''[first lines]'' Yep. :'''Jeff Boomhauer''': ''[first lines]'' Mmm-Hmm. Hank Hill You Can’t Always Get What You Want :'''Bill Dauterive''': You know what it could be… That darn started motor. You’re getting good compression? :'''Hank Hill''': Yeah! :'''[[w:Dale Gribble|Dale Gribble]]''': I know what's wrong with it. It's a [[w:Ford Motor Company|Ford]]. You know what they say Ford stands for, don't ya? It stands for 'Fix it again, Tony'. :'''[[w:Hank Hill|Hank Hill]]''': You're thinking of a ''[[w:Fiat|Fiat]]'', Dale. :'''Dale Gribble''': "Fix... it... again..." <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Hank Hill|Hank Hill]]''': Whatcha listenin' to, son? :'''Bobby Hill''': I don't think you'd like it. :'''Hank Hill''': Well, why not? I like this new generation of music. [puts headphones on] :'''Old woman on tape''': Hello? :[The tape erupts into sudden flatulence] :'''Hank Hill''': [takes headphones off] Mother of God, it's all toilet sounds! Where did you record this? :'''Bobby Hill''': I bought it at the mall! It's the Funny Phone Jerks! :'''Hank Hill''': Let me tell you, Bobby, there's nothing "funny" about these sounds! What that person on your tape has is a medical disorder. Now you get ready for the game, OK? :'''Bobby Hill''': Yes, sir. :'''Hank Hill''': [leaving Bobby's room] That boy ain't right. <hr width="50%"/> :[The Hill family on the way to Bobby's baseball game] :'''Hank Hill''': So, are you ready to kick some Wildcat butt, Bobby? :'''Bobby Hill''': Okay. :'''Peggy Hill''': Nah, don't you worry, son. You just do your best. :'''Hank Hill''': Don't listen to her, Bobby. If you wanna win, you're gonna have to do better than your best. :'''Bobby Hill''': How do I do that? :'''Hank Hill''': You gotta give a hundred and ten percent. That's what'll give you that winnin' edge. :'''Bobby Hill''': But what if the Wildcats give a hundred and ten percent, too? :'''Hank Hill''': Well, then you gotta try even harder. :'''Peggy Hill''': How about if Bobby gave a hundred and twelve percent? :'''Hank Hill''': Ahm ... sure, that'd work. :'''Bobby Hill''': Or maybe a hundred and thirteen? :'''Hank Hill''': [Annoyed] Yeah, yeah, that's even better. :'''Peggy Hill''': No, uh, I don't know. Thirteen is a very unlucky number. :'''Hank Hill''': Look, we're not talking about thirteen. We're talking about a hundred and thirteen, and even ... uh ... okay, give a hundred and twelve, what's the difference? Look, Bobby. Just do your best, okay? <hr width="50%"/> Hank and Bobby at the Mega Lo Mart after Bobby got a black eye at his baseball game. :'''Hank Hill''': Excuse me, where's the hardware department? :'''Buckley''': [Clueless, unsure of how to respond] Where is the hardware department? Uhm, hm, what exactly is it you're looking for? :'''Hank Hill''': The hardware department. :'''Buckley''': Yeah, but are you looking for like a tool or something? :'''Hank Hill''': What difference does it make? :'''Buckley''': Huh, what difference does it make? :'''Hank Hill''': Okay, I'm lookin' for a [[w:tap and die|tap and die]] and some '''[[w:WD-40|WD-40]]'''. :'''Buckley''': Huh, what is it that you're trying to do? :'''Hank Hill''': [Losing patience] I'm tryin' to buy a tap and die and some WD-40 and get out of this God-forsaken store! :'''Buckley''': Uh ... and what is a tap-and-die? :'''Hank Hill''': [angrily, can’t take it anymore] Okay, forget it! Let's say I want a hammer. [[w:Hammer|Do you know what a hammer is?]] That's what I want, a damned hammer! Now where in the hell would I go? As this exchange goes on, the camera cuts to two other women shopping nearby. Hank is still yelling at Buckley in the background. :'''Nearby Customer 1''': Hey, that's that Hank Hill fella that lives on the block next to us. :'''Nearby Customer 2''': He sure has a temper, doesn't he? :'''Nearby Customer 1''': Sure does. Makes you wonder who gave his boy that black eye. Bobby knocks over some cans swinging a cardboard roll around. :'''Buckley''': You're gonna have to pay for that, dude. :'''Hank Hill''': [Shouting] YOU'RE FIRED!! <hr width="50%"/> Hank is fixing his truck. :'''Hank Hill''': [referring to the sound of Bobby throwing a baseball at the living room wall] Dammit! There it is again! Where is that thumpin' comin' from? It's drivin' me crazy! :'''Dale Gribble''': Could be far-off helicopters... U.N. helicopters. :'''Hank Hill''': Dale! What're you doin'? Give me some light! Now! I--I can't see! (Hank drops his wrench) Ow, my arm! (The hood closes) Ow, my head! Dale runs off. <hr width="50%"/> A Child Protective Services worker interviews the family after a report for Bobby's black eye. :'''Anthony Page''': Mr. Hill, I feel that you're coming from an anger mindset, and if you're projecting this anger onto me, it gives me grave concerns as to how you facilitate your son's growth in private. :'''Hank Hill''': Mister, I have not begun to project my anger onto you! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Anthony Page''': Please, Mr. Hill? Loud is not allowed. :'''Hank Hill''': What the- "Loud is not allowed"? Now you listen to me, mister. ''([[w:Battle Hymn of the Republic|patriotic music]] starts to play as hank gets increasingly angrier)'' I work for a livin', and I mean [[w:Blue-collar worker|real work]], not [[w:White-collar worker|writin' down gobbledegook!]] I provide the people of this community with [[w:propane|propane]] and [[w:Propane#Uses|propane accessories]]. Oh, when I think of all my hard earned [[w:Taxation in the United States|tax dollars]] goin' ta pay a bunch of little twig-boy bureaucrats like you, it just makes me wanna ... oh ... oh God ... it just ... ''(record scratch)'' :'''Peggy Hill''': Hank? :'''Hank Hill''': Honey, bring me my BC headache powder and a glass of water. :'''Peggy Hill''': Alright, Hank. :'''Hank Hill''': Now you listen here. You see that boy? ''(music resumes)'' That's '''my''' boy! And if you ever try to take him away, so help me God, I'll tear ya a new one bigger'n the [[w:Grand Canyon|Grand Canyon]]! Now I want you to get out of my house. You're not welcome here! '''I mean NOW, before I give YOU a black eye! ''GIT!''''' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Bill Dauterive''' Dale, are you sure you want to be messin' with Hank's truck when he's not around? :'''Dale Gribble''': I'm gonna help get him this alternator off. (Dale cuts a wire). :'''Bill''': Ah, Dale, I think ya released the brake cable! Dale? :'''Dale''': No, I didn't. (The truck crashes into the garage door). I guess I'd better get goin', ah, I got some edging to do. (Dale grabs his cap out of the engine and he, along with Bill and Boomhauer, run back to their homes). <hr width="50%"/> :'''Dale Gribble''': Hey, I know what's wrong with your truck. It's your "quote-unquote" pollution controls. [[w:Climate change denial|I heard on talk radio you don't even need them. They're just an egghead government plot.]] :'''Hank Hill''': How is cutting down on pollution a government plot, Dale? :'''Dale Gribble''': Open up your eyes, man. They're trying to control global warming. Get it? GLO-BAL. :'''Hank Hill''': So what? :'''Dale Gribble''': That's code for U.N. commissars telling Americans what the temperature's going to be in our outdoors. I say let the world warm up, see what [[w:Boutros Boutros-Ghali|Boutros Boutros-Ghali]]-Ghali thinks about that! We'll grow oranges in Alaska. :'''Hank Hill''': Dale, you giblet-head, [[w:Climate of Texas|we live in Texas]]. It's already 110°[F] in the summer, [[w:Climate change in Texas|and if it gets one degree hotter, I'm gonna kick your ass!]] <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hank Hill''': Bobby, you can't make an omelette without breakin' eggs, and you can't get on base without takin' a swing. :'''Bobby Hill''': The pitcher could walk me, couldn't he? :'''Hank Hill''': Don't play lawyer-ball, son. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Boomhauer''': [discussing ''[[w:Seinfeld|Seinfeld]]''] See that part where dang ol' George come in there, he talks 'bout tastin' his own burp and Kramer comes slidin' in there just like he always does. I tell ya what, man, them dang ol' New York boys, just a show about nothin'. <hr width="50%"/> Bobby is talking with Joseph. :'''Bobby''': (Mocking his dad) Git out my house! My boy ain't much, but he's all I got! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hank''': (Hank is lying on the bed) It's hard, Peggy. I don't wanna lose my little boy. My only son. But, oh, it's hard. :'''Peggy''': Well, you can relax. The investigation has been off for a week, only Bobby didn't tell us. :'''Hank''': [Yelling furiously] I'LL KILL HIM!!!!! :'''Peggy''': Alright, calm down, honey. Now, let me explain. He didn't do it to be mean, Bobby honestly doesn't think you love him all the time. :'''Hank''': That's crazy, 'Course I love him. :'''Peggy''': Very good. Now, say it to Bobby. :'''Hank''': What are you talkin' about? :'''Peggy''': I want you to tell Bobby that your love for him is unconditional. :'''Hank''': Well, I can't say that. I can't! You know how I was raised! What my father's like! :'''Cotton''': ''(shown in a flashback to Hank's youth)'' I got my shins blowed off by a Japanman's machine gun, so don't come cryin' to me with your problems! :'''Peggy''': Honey, I'm begging you. For the sake of this family, you have got to do it. He's waiting for you out on the porch. :'''Hank''': Ah, jeez. Twig-boy coming over here... (Hank goes outside and talks to Bobby)'' Uh, you, uh, you're my son, uh, well, you know with everything uh, that entails, uh... :'''Bobby''': Uh-huh. :'''Hank''': Uh, huh, you know, uh, feelings of, uh, fondness, and more, uh, heh, uh, you know what I mean, don't you, boy? :'''Bobby''': No. :'''Hank''': Uhh, well uh, ''(Hank makes a weird sound)'' Huh, that's a hell of a weird sound, I've never made that before. Uh, I, you, uh, family. You're not making this easy on me, boy. (sighs) Okay, I love you no matter what you do. There, phew, let's go get something to eat. :'''Bobby''': I'm not, just a big disappointment to you? :'''Hank''': Disappointment? No, you make me proud. I've been disappointed by just about everything else in this town, but you? Not once. Dammit, you're my boy. Heh, you know better than that. (Bobby laughing) :'''Anthony Page''': He punched him! I, I knew it! I told them! Did-did you see that? :'''Bus Passenger''': See what, twig-boy? :'''Anthony Page''': ''(sighs)'' Never mind. === ''[[w:Square Peg (King of the Hill)|Square Peg]]'' [1.02] === <hr width="50%"/> Peggy Hill attempts to tell Bobby [[w:birds and the bees|about the facts of life.]] :'''[[w:Peggy Hill|Peggy Hill]]''': Now, Bobby, you may have noticed that there is [[w:Sex differences in human physiology|a difference between a man and a woman]]. Bobby remains silent :'''Peggy''': ...a rather <i>obvious</i> difference. Bobby remains silent for a few more moments :'''Bobby''': You mean the [[w:Human penis|penis]]? ''Peggy, unsure of how to respond, stands up and walks out of the room totally silent.'' <hr width="50%"/> :''Hank walks into the kitchen, Peggy is finishing up a phone call'': :'''Hank''': Hey there Peg-Leg! :'''Peggy''': That was Bobby's principal. [[w:Dale Gribble|Some right-wing maniac]] just called the health teacher with a death threat and she quit. :'''Hank''': Oh well. I'm sure it was just some harmless nutcase. (cut to Dale struggling to open his beer properly) :'''Hank''': Hey, on the bright side, since there's no one to teach that sex-ed course, we can put all this ugliness back in the closet. :'''Peggy''': Oh, no, Hank. They found someone. They found the Substitute Teacher of the Year. :'''Hank''': Uh, 1995? :'''Peggy''': [No, me, the winner of] 1996. :''(Hank grimaces. Cut to commercial)'' <hr width="50%"/> :''The phone is ringing at the Hill residence. Hank picks it up'': :'''Hank''': Hello? :'''Threatening caller''': ''(hoarse voice)'' You don't know who I am, but I know where you live, and if you teach that sex-ed class, so help me, I- :'''Hank''': Dale? Is that you? :'''Dale''': ''(normal voice)'' Oh. Hank. Uh, can I speak with Peggy? :'''Hank''': Uh, Peggy, it's for you. It's Dale. :'''Peggy''': Y'ello, Dale. :'''Dale''': ''(hoarse voice)'' You don't know where I am, but I know where you live... <hr width="50%"/> :''Peggy is attempting to say the names of reproductive organs for a sexual education class.'': :'''Peggy''': Happiness. Happ-i-ness. Ha-penis. Penis. I did it! Ovaries. Uvula. Uterus. VAAAGINA! :''[Hank does a spit-take with his beer.]'': :'''Peggy''': Hey Hank, I just said... :'''Hank''': I heard ya! The whole neighborhood can hear you cussing! :'''Peggy''': It's not cussing Hank, to say the name of a god-given body part. :'''Hank''': Well it is if it's the part of a body that was meant to be concealed by an undergarment. You're dealing with organs that people just don't want to know about. :'''Peggy''': Well, Bobby ought to know about 'em. We don't want him growing up as repressed as we did. :'''Hank''': Sure we do. I'm drawing the line here, Peggy. My son is not gonna learn this crazy crap! It says right here that he can't take the class without permission from both his parents! :'''Peggy''': Now, just hold on. Are you saying I'm not good enough to teach my own son?! :'''Hank''': If you do not approve, you do not have to sign, and I do not approve. Permission denied! <hr width="50%"/> :''[Dale is leaving a message on the Hill's answering machine]'' :'''[[w:Dale Gribble|Dale Gribble]]''': You don't know who I am, but I know where you live and you better cut it out if you know what's good for you. Oh, and Hank, we changed that tee-off time to 3:00. === ''The Order of the Straight Arrow'' [1.03] === :'''[[w:Hank Hill|Hank Hill]]''': [As a child] When I grow up, I want to sell propane and propane accessories, if my grades are good enough! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Peggy''': [''to Bobby & Joseph inside the tent''] Son, Peggy Hill knows half a swear word when she hears one. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Bill''': I'm so depressed I can't even blink. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hank Hill''': We of the Order of the Straight Arrow call upon the spirit Wematanye, protector of the sacred ground that brings us cool water to drink and energy-efficient clean-burning propane gas for all our sacred heating and cooking needs. Wematanye says, respect the earth! She's ours, by God, our taxes pay for Her. Also, it says here you gotta love all Her creatures. Let's see...oh, here we go: Though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you're gonna recommend us to the spirit in the sky, with liberty and justice for all. Wematanye is with you, and with Texas. Amen. ===''Hank's Got the Willies'' [1.04] === :'''Hank''': ''[awaken from his dream as he hears honking]'' Willie, no! That's a one-way street! ---------- :'''Bill''': ''[about the long honking sound]'' Sounds like your horn's going off! :'''Hank''': You really think so, Bill? :'''Bill''': Oh Yeah! :'''Dale''': Dang it, Hank! You know I can't have loud, sudden noises while I'm meditating! I was a nose hair away from attaining inner peace! ---------- :'''Hank''': Santa Claus is for babies! :'''Bill''': ''[sad]'' [[w:You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch|You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch!]] ---------- :'''Hank''': [Bobby] seems bent on destroying everything I own. Why can't he turn that energy into something useful, like [[w:Terry Fox|that boy with no legs]] who [[w:Marathon of Hope|ran across Canada?]] ---------- :'''Hank''': Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was the bathroom...Oh, good Lord! [''sees a weak nerd which doesn't look like Bobby''] ===''Luanne's Saga'' [1.05] === :'''[[w:Hank Hill|Hank Hill]]''': Your heart is telling you?! Who's the boss, you or your heart? You are! Your heart is your employee! So get your heart off its butt and back to work! ===''Hank's Unmentionable Problem'' [1.06] === Peggy is dreaming about Hank's funeral. :'''[[w:Bill Dauterive|Bill Dauterive]]''': He looks like an angel. A dead angel. :'''[[w:Boomhauer|Boomhauer]]''': (crying) Why, man, dang ol' why, why?! :'''[[w:Dale Gribble|Dale Gribble]]''': It should have been Bill! :'''[[w:Peggy Hill|Peggy Hill]]''': Oh, Hank. We never got a chance to talk about your problem. And now... we never will. :'''[[w:C. Everett Koop|C. Everett Koop]]''': Remember, early detection is the key. Now pass in your algebra homework. Bill, Boomhauer, Dale and Peggy produce said homework and give it to Koop. Peggy gasps. Hank's coffin is lowered into grave. :'''[[w:Cotton Hill|Cotton Hill]]''': Goodbye, boy. See you in HELL! Cotton turns a toilet handle on Hank's headstone. Hank's coffin is sucked into the ground. Peggy lets out one last wail of despair before she suddenly wakes up. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Nancy Gribble''': (on TV) The temperature is a pleasant 70 degrees. And on a more personal note, I'd like to wish my friend Hank Hill a quick recovery from his embarrassing consti- Hank changes the channel. :'''C. Everett Koop''': -pation. :'''[[w:Hank Hill|Hank Hill]]''': (While constipated and watching his dog poo outside) Showoff. :'''[[w:Hank Hill|Hank Hill]]''':"Don't touch me. I'm on the John." <hr width="50%" /> :''[last lines, to the audience]'' :'''Hank Hill''': You might have noticed in tonight's episode, there is some brief nudity. Now, as an actor, I only do nudity when I feel the script warrants it. And I thought tonight's episode only warranted seeing the side of my rump. You can believe me when I tell you the Fox executives were pushing for a whole lot more. If any of you were offended by my body, I'm truly sorry. Good night. ===''Westie Side Story'' [1.07] === :'''[[w:Hank Hill|Hank Hill]]''': What the hell kind of country is this where I can only hate a man if he's white? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Peggy Hill''': Do you... do you think my feet are too big, Hank? :'''Hank Hill''': No, hon. Just... more of you to love. [He takes a step forward towards her, like an on-screen embrace] :'''Peggy Hill''': Ow. [Hanks looks down to see he's stepping on Peggy's feet] :'''Hank Hill''': Oh, sorry. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Minh Souphanousinphone|Minh Souphanousinphone]]''': Kahn, please. For once try not to piss off neighbor. We kicked out of Laos, we kicked out of Anaheim... I tired of running. <hr width="50%"/> Hank meets Kahn for the first time. :'''Hank Hill''': So are you Chinese or Japanese? :'''[[w:Toby Huss|Kahn Souphanousinphone]]''': I live in California last twenty year, but, ah... first come from Laos. :'''Hank Hill''': Huh? :'''Kahn Souphanousinphone''': Laos. We Laotian. :'''[[w:Bill Dauterive|Bill Dauterive]]''': The ocean? What ocean? :'''Kahn Souphanousinphone''': We are Laotian--from Laos, stupid! [[w:Laos|It's a landlocked country in Southeast Asia]]. It's between [[w:Vietnam|Vietnam]] and [[w:Thailand|Thailand]], okay? [[w:Demographics_of_Laos|Population: 4.7 million]].<!--Circa 1998, anyway--> Hank ponders this for a few seconds. :'''Hank Hill''': So are you Chinese or Japanese? :'''Kahn Souphanousinphone''': [groans] <hr width="50%"/> :'''Bobby Hill''': Dad, look. Ladybird and Doggie like eachother. :'''Hank Hill''': Of course they do, Son, they're neighbors. [to Kahn] Y'know, Kahn, I just found a breeding partner for my Ladybird. If you're interested in having a real American dog, I can give- :[cut to Doggie [[w:Canine reproduction|mounting]] Ladybird] :'''Hank Hill''': What the hell?! Get him off! Get him off of her! [Hank grabs Kahn's watering hose and sprays Doggie and Ladybird] :'''Kahn Souphanousinphone:''' [laughter] Your Ladybird, she real slut! :'''Hank Hill''': Ladybird is not a slut! [[w:Estrous_cycle#Dogs|She is in heat]]. Her hormones have overwhelmed her natural modesty. :[Hank goes to get Ladybird. She stubbornly refuses to move, and Hank struggles to pull her away by the collar] :'''Hank Hill''': For Pete's sake, would you tie up your dog?! :'''Kahn Souphanousinphone:''' You tie your dog. She seduce my Doggie. :'''Hank Hill''': That's ridiculous, Ladybird can only love another purebred Georgia Bloodhound. :[tense music plays] :'''Kahn Souphanousinphone:''' You know what I think, Hank Hill? I think you're a narrow-minded redneck! :'''Hank Hill''': Oh, I get it: [[w:Culture_of_the_Southern_United_States#Popular_culture_images_of_Southerners|Just because I'm from Texas, I gotta be some kind of redneck]]! Chinese and their stupid stereotypes... :'''Kahn Souphanousinphone:''' Get off my property! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hank Hill''': Please, Kahn. You're burning them! That's too much char. :'''Kahn Souphanousinphone:''' Shut mouth and open mouth. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Dale Gribble|Dale Gribble]]''': They'll probably get you with a blow-dart; that's their way. But you'll just think its a mosquito bite until you die, then you'll know the truth. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Kahn Souphanousinphone:''': I could just stay home, order a bucket of chicken and watch [[w:Hee Haw|Hee Haw]]; same thing [as going to the Hills' for dinner]. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hank Hill''': You know Kahn, we may deny our kids completely different deserts, but they both go to bed hungry, and that's what really matters. <hr width="50%"/> :''[last lines]'' :'''Minh Souphanousinphone:''' Rabbit, you rednecks will eat anything! ===''Shins of the Father'' [1.08] === The Hills, their neighbors, and sundry guests are congregated around a table as Bobby opens his presents. :'''[[w:Cotton Hill|Cotton Hill]]''': Mr. Kahn, I'll have a Mai Tai. :'''Kahn Souphanousinphone''': (offended) What- what you think?! I work for Hank?! :'''Hank Hill''': Uh, dad, this here's my new neighbor. :'''Dale Gribble''': (sotto, to Cotton) He's Japanese. :'''Cotton Hill''': No he ain't. (visually inspects Kahn for a moment) He's Laotian. Ain't you, Mr. Kahn? Cotton walks offscreen. Kahn looks at the camera with a surprised expression. <hr width="50%"/> Cotton discovers that Bobby began a sexist riot at his school. :'''Cotton Hill''': Bobby, I'm proud of what you did at school today....So I'm buyin' you a hooker! Go ahead pick yourself out a live one. <hr width="50%"/> Hank thanks Cotton for bringing a horse ("Oh Dad, you didn't have to do this.") :'''Cotton Hill''': Well, you know me-- I'm larger than life. <hr width="50%"/> '''Cotton tells the story of how he was injured in WWII:''' "I was 14, just a little older than Bobby. But I knew Uncle Sam needed me, so I lied and signed up. We had beat the [[w:Nazi Germany|Nazzies]] in Italy, and they shipped me to the [[w:Pacific War|Pacific theater]]. A [[w:Empire of Japan|Tojo]] torpedo sent our troop ship to the bottom. I could only save three of my buddies: Fatty, Stinky, and Brooklyn. They were kind of like you fellas [to Bill, Dale, and Boomhauer], only one of them was from [[w:Brooklyn|Brooklyn]]. Out of the sun came a [[w:Mitsubishi A6M Zero|Tojo Zero]] and put fitty bullets in my back. The blood attracted sharks. I had to give 'em Fatty. Then things took a turn for the worse. I made it to an island, but it was full of Tojos! [[Flag desecration|They were spitting on the U.S. flag!]] So I rushed 'em, but it was a trap. They opened fire and blew my shins off. Last thing I remember, I beat 'em all to death with a big piece of Fatty. I woke up in a field hospital, and they were sewing my feet to my knees." <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Bobby Hill|Bobby Hill]]''': [Speaking to Joseph about Connie]: Oow. She's moody. Must be PBS. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cotton Hill''': ''[to Luanne]'' You will never know if you are attractive. It's up to a man to tell you that. You keep eating, and I'll tell you when to stop. :''[Cotton slaps Luanne's rear end]'' :'''Luanne''': Touch me again, and you'll be wearing that cornpone, old man. :'''Cotton Hill''': Hoo-wee! Fiesty! ===''Peggy the Boggle Champ'' [1.09] === :'''Peggy''': Now, Minh, the game of [[w:Boggle|Boggle]] is really quite simple. The goal is to make words out of these 25 letter cubes. ''[shakes the tray and slams it on the table]'' Ho yeah! :''[Peggy lifts the cover and the game begins]'' :'''Minh''': Ba mee tom yum. :'''Nancy''': It's gotta be a '''real''' word, honey. :'''Minh''' Yes! Ba mee tom yum, Thai spicy noodle soup! Tasty and delicious. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Dale''': I'll tell you, I hate to see Nancy cooped up all Sunday playing that Boggle. It's a beautiful day! She oughta be outside hanging my laundry! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Luanne''': Boy, Aunt Peg, the words I don’t know could fill a dictionary. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Nancy''': You know, the [[w:Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks|Elks]] are having a Boggle tournament in order to raise bail money for their treasurer. Maybe you should enter. :'''Peggy''': Me? Oh, fish, I just play for fun! Minh, you owe me $13. :'''Minh:''': ''[gives Peggy her money]'' Thank you for Boggle lesson, Peggy Hill! Maybe next week I teach you mahjong. Bring your checkbook! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Peggy''': Hank, I'm thinking of entering a Boggle tournament over at the Elks. :'''Hank''' Boggle? Boy, the Elks will do anything for a dollar. Are they still playing that game where the cow's gotta drop dung in a square? :'''Peggy''': Boggle is nothing like [[w:Bovine bingo|cow bingo]], Hank. Boggle is a game of wits. Now, cow bingo is a game of strategy. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Dale''': Boy, that wife of yours is pretty good! I guess that's why they call her your "better half!" ''[chuckles]'' :'''Hank''' Who calls her that?! :''[beat]'' :'''Dale''': …They. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Peggy''': Hey, you wanna be my coach? :'''Hank''': A Boggle coach? What would I do? :'''Peggy''': Well, Hank, you don't have to do anything, you just have to be there. Unless you want me to go up to Dallas by myself. :'''Hank''': Dallas? I don't want you going to Dallas at all! That place is crawling with crack heads and debutantes. And half of them play for the [[w:Dallas Cowboys|Cowboys]]. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Hank is checking in at the Dallas hotel front desk]'' :'''Hank''': Checking in. The name's Hank Hill. :'''Concierge''': Hmmm… nope. I have a "''Peggy'' Hill". :'''Hank''': Yeah, that's it, "Hank and Peggy Hill". :'''Concierge''': I have a "'''Peggy''' Hill"! :'''Hank''': She's my wife. :'''Concierge''': Okay, uh, "Mr. and Mrs. Peggy Hill". :'''Hank''': ''[hits the table with his fist with each exclamation point, ringing the bell and summoning one bellhop behind him each time]'' Now you listen to me! '''The name is HANK! Hill! Mister! Hank! Hill! Peggy married ME! I didn't marry HER!''' :''[Hank looks behind at the small crowd of bellhops now behind him]'' :'''Hank''': '''WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!''' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Peggy''': ''[crying]'' I am so stupid! :'''Hank''': Aw, you're not stupid. Heck, you're smarter than me. :'''Peggy''': Oh, big deal! :'''Hank''': Well, you're smarter than anyone else in Arlen. :'''Peggy''': Well, whoop-dee-do! I am the smartest hillbilly in Hillbillytown! :'''Hank''': I-I'm trying Peggy. I just… hey, you know Coach used to say something that would fire us up when we were behind? :'''Peggy''': Yeah? What? :'''Hank''':[furiously]] LOSER! YOU'RE A LOSER! ARE YOU FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF?! WELL, YOU SHOULD BE CAUSE YOU ARE '''DIRT!''' YOU MAKE ME SICK, YOU BIG BABY! BABY WANT A BOTTLE?! '''A BIG DIRT BOTTLE?!''' :'''Peggy''': ''[crying harder]'' WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?! :'''Hank''': Uh, well, I'm trying to be your coach. I… It's… It's inspiring! :'''Peggy Hill''': Well, thank you, cause I feel worse than ever! :'''Hank Hill''': Well, it worked for the team. :'''Peggy''': No it didn't! You went to State and lost! :'''Hank''': Ah, jeez! I think I need one of those $8 beers. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Boomhauer is playing a virtual reality mowing simulator.]'' :'''Boomhauer''': Man that dang ol' piece of crap dang ol' blocked up, ''[reaches into the mower to get the grass out]'' g-get grass out there that-- ''[sees that his fingers have been chopped off in the game]'' '''AHH! I AIN'T GOT NO FINGERS!''' ===''Keeping Up With Our Joneses'' [1.10] === :'''Hank Hill''': Is this [[w:Toilet|John]] occupied? ¿Es esta Juan occupado? :'''Bobby Hill''': ''Sí.'' :'''Hank Hill''': Bobby? :''[He rips the public bathroom door open to see Bobby and Joseph smoking a cigarette. Everyone is in shock]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Dale Gribble''': Joseph, I understand you smoked your first cigarette today. :'''Joseph Gribble''': Dad, I'm sorry! I'll never smoke again. :'''Dale Gribble''': Whoa, hold on, son! I want you to keep an open mind so you can make an informed decision. If you want, you can read a bloated government report on smoking or go straight to the horse's mouth and get the facts from the tobacco industry! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hank Hill''': For God's sakes, Bobby, what nationality are you? :'''Bobby Hill''': American. :'''Hank Hill''': Then why are you holding your cigarette like some kind of European Nazi in a movie? :'''Bobby Hill''': Why does it matter? :'''Hank Hill''': That's not the right sort of attitude for you to have. Whatever you do, you should do right, even if it's something wrong. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hank Hill''': Uh, I got to go do some stuff. I think I might have left the blender on. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Peggy Hill''': ''[to Bobby]'' Bobby, smoking is a nasty, filthy filthy habit and only trailer trash smoke nowadays. Now do you wanna look like trailer trash? :'''Luanne Platter''': That's not fair! I don't smoke! ''[she starts crying runs away in tears]'' :'''Peggy Hill''': Ah, Lu- uh. Lord, Hank you finish this. Oh, honey, you are not trash just 'cause you grew up in a trailer and your mama's in prison. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Peggy Hill''': Uh, Hank, there is a "tile" in the bathroom that I think we missed. :'''Hank Hill''': Really? Well, I better check that out. :''[Hank goes into the bathroom, sees a cigarette, smokes a few puffs, then returns to the kitchen]'' :'''Hank Hill''': Heh-heh-heh. Well, I found the "tile" — thank you very much, Peggy — and I looked at it but there's still some more "tile" for you to look at. :'''Peggy Hill''': You know, I think I will save the rest of my "tile" for after breakfast. :'''Bobby Hill''': Will you stop talking about your stupid tile?! If it's so dirty go clean it, and if it's clean you can shut up!! :''[He stubs out his breakfast sausage as if it were a cigarette and leaves the table]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hank Hill''': ''[at a cold turkey support group meeting, glaring at the counselor]'' I got the strangest feeling someone's gonna kick his ass. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Kick the Butt Club Counselor''': Hey, there, why don't you tell us your name and how long you've been smoking. :'''Hank Hill''': Uh, I'd rather not. :'''Kick the Butt Club Counselor''': I understand. It's not easy to admit we're weak. :'''Hank Hill''': You're calling me weak?!? Look at your little birdy arms, they're no thicker than a cigarette! I could smoke them little arms! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Kick the Butt Club Counselor''': Is this your son? It's beautiful how you came out to support your daddy. :'''Bobby Hill''': I'm a smoker, too. :''Everyone gasps.'' :'''Kick the Butt Club Counselor''': Oh, no. How long have you been addicted to cigarettes? :'''Bobby Hill''': Since my dad let me smoke a whole carton. :'''Hank Hill''': Wait a minute, I didn't let him, I ''made'' him. It was a punishment. :''[Everyone murmurs in anger, disgusted with Hank]'' :'''Bill Dautrieve''': Can I get a new buddy? :'''Audience member''': What is wrong with him? :'''Kick the Butt Club Counselor''': You are sick, sir! You shouldn't be ''allowed'' to have children! :'''Hank Hill''': Now hold on a minute here. I didn't bring my family here to be yelled at. I don't think I like this club. You all whine too much, and the coffee's bad. I'll tell you what you need to do. You need to take a thirteenth step... down off your high horse! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Luanne Platter''': Here's to three of the bravest individuals in all of Arlen. To the Hills and their tobacco-free future! :'''Hank Hill''': My God, are you ''still'' talking?! :'''Bobby Hill''': Why's my potato got ''skin'' on it? I hate skin! :'''Peggy Hill''': I will not sit here and have my work insulted! What, do you think the potatoes just fly into the bowl and ''mash themselves?!!'' :'''Luanne Platter''': I know y'all don't mean none of those harsh words. It's just the nicotine withdrawal. :'''Hank Hill''': Why is she still talking?!! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Luanne Platter''': ''[after finding Peggy hiding in the closet with a cigarette]'' I found her. :'''Peggy Hill''': Close the damn door!! Can't you see that I am knitting!! :'''Bobby Hill''': Mom. Hand over the cigarette! :'''Peggy Hill''': Nooooo! :'''Bobby Hill''': Mom this is not your son, this is your buddy! :'''Peggy Hill''': NOOOOO!! :'''Bobby Hill''': Hand it over!! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Luanne Platter''': ''[locking the family in the bedroom]'' I'm crating ya'll in like an unruly dog. I am sick of dysfunctional families. I came from one, and I am not gonna let it happen to you. Function!! Function damn you!!! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Peggy Hill''': Okay. Women and children first. I take the first puff, Bobby here get's the second, if there's anything left...you. :'''Hank Hill''': Who are you trying to kid? We all know there won't be anything left. Lets you and me split it Peg! It'll be romantic! You know like the old days, before ''he'' came along! :'''Bobby Hill''': Momma. It's your son. Nine months inside remember? Those were good times too! :'''Peggy Hill''': I don't know. Now this is just happening too fast, I just don't know. :'''Hank Hill''': Well I do! Come on Bobby, you and I can take her! You go high, I'll go low! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Peggy Hill''': Well, look at us. At each other's throats. And after all we've been through. This family has survived fires and twisters and every strain of flu the Orient could throw at us. Well, we are not going to be done in by a lousy tobacco leaf. We're gonna make it. Together. ===''King of the Ant Hill'' [1.11] === ''(Note: the following quote comes from a deleted scene)'' :'''[[w:Kahn Souphanousinphone|Kahn Souphanousinphone]]''': Put on shoes, hillbilly! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Kahn Souphanousinphone''': Where I come from we got this thing called [[w:Karma|karma]]. You do something bad, it come back and bite you in the ass! Big, white, stubborn ass! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Bobby Hill''': (Hypnotized by the [[w:Queen_ant|Queen]])...YES... ...MY... ...QUEEN... <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hank Hill''': (on his mower, talking to an anthill) Put your head between your six legs and kiss your butt good-bye! (runs over the anthill) <hr width="50%"/> :''[Dale had just destroyed Hank's lawn. Dale passes by Hank's lawn while Peggy is talking to Hank.]'' :'''Hank Hill''': ''[After just noticing Dale]'' '''''DALE!''''' :''[Dale yells and hurries to his van.]'' :'''Dale Gribble''': Oh, man! :'''Hank Hill''': Dale, you went too far this time! Come back here! ''[Starts chasing Dale]'' Come here! I'm gonna kick your ass! :'''Dale Gribble''': No! ''NO!'' :'''Hank Hill''': I'm gonna kick it ''harder'' if you don't come over here! :'''Dale Gribble''': ''[desperate]'' You shouldn't have fired me! You know what I'm like! I'm capable of any crazy thing! :'''Hank Hill''': But my ''lawn'', Dale! You don't mess with a man's LAWN! :'''Dale Gribble''': I had no choice! I tried planting the ants in your driveway, but they didn't take! They couldn't bite through cement! They're weak, ''like me!'' ''[Wheezes]'' <hr width="50%"/> ''(Said to Dale Gribble after he mistakenly thought Dale had died from a poisonous ant attack)'' :'''Hank Hill''': ''(remorseful)'' Oh... oh, God. You sacrificed your life to save my son. I guess that makes us even for you ruinin' my lawn... What am I saying? Of course, it makes us even... :''(Dale coughs up some fire ants)'' :'''Dale Gribble''': While I was blacked out, was anything inserted into me? :'''Hank Hill''': ''(relieved)'' You're alive? :'''Dale Gribble''': ...answer the question. ===''Plastic White Female'' [1.12]=== Luanne comes home with her practice head for her exam :'''Luanne''': Look, Aunt Peggy, I got my practice head! It's got real hair and everything! :'''Peggy''': (approaching) Well, Luanne, it's a very nice head- :'''Luanne''': (interrupting sharply and furiously) '''''DON'T TOUCH IT!!''''' (calmly) Aunt Peggy, I can't let anything happen to it before my final exam. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Bobby''':(Talking to a mannequin head) "You look really special tonight." <hr width="50%"/> Peggy on what their course of action after catching Bobby kissing the mannequin head :'''[[w:Peggy Hill|Peggy]]''': We'll move to [[w:Berlin|Berlin]]. Bobby will be accepted there. I read somewhere that [[w:Germany|Germans]] are a very tolerant people. Their culture admires all kinds of freaks. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Peggy Hill''': I know it is not my fault. If anything, this is your fault. You made him go to that camp with no toilet doors. :'''Hank Hill''': Don't point your finger at me, woman. You're the one who parks him in front of the TV and makes him watch all [[w:The Muppets|them Muppets]]. They got [[w:Kermit the Frog|frogs]] kissing [[w:Miss Piggy|pigs]], what the hell did they think was going to happen? The salsa music playing during Bobby's 'seduction' of the plastic head is ''Discarga Criolla'' by Ray Barreto. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hank Hill''': ''(Seeing Bobby freeing the practice head in the cabinets)'' Well that just tears it! I have tried to be patient, but now it's time for a little tough love! (snatches the practice head away from Bobby) :'''Bobby''': No...wait! ''(Peggy and Luanne emerge from their rooms, as Bobby chases after Hank)'' :'''Luanne Platter''': What's going on? :'''Peggy Hill''': I don't know. :'''Bobby Hill''': '''NO, DAD, NO!''' ''(The rest of the family looks on in horror as Hank Hill is cutting the practice head in half, lengthwise, with a circular saw.)'' :'''Peggy Hill''': Hank? Stop Hank! Please! :'''Luanne Platter''': Oh no! '''PLEASE DON'T UNCLE HANK!''' ''(The two halves of the practice head fall to the ground from the circular saw.)'' :'''Luanne Platter''': ''(inconsolably screaming)'' '''''MY TEST! WHAT ABOUT MY TEST?!''''' ''(Remembering Luanne needed that head to pass her beauty academy exam, Hank can only smile sheepishly)'' ==External links== {{Wikipedia|King of the Hill}} [[Category:King of the Hill seasons]] aarjisfwvihtyvvfds1kwcylgdp3akr 3942198 3942025 2026-05-17T21:43:50Z ~2026-29735-31 3323764 /* Pilot [1.01] */ 3942198 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} ---- :'''Seasons:''' [[King of the Hill (season 1)|1]] [[King of the Hill (season 2)|2]] [[King of the Hill (season 3)|3]] [[King of the Hill (season 4)|4]] [[King of the Hill (season 5)|5]] [[King of the Hill (season 6)|6]] [[King of the Hill (season 7)|7]] [[King of the Hill (season 8)|8]] [[King of the Hill (season 9)|9]] [[King of the Hill (season 10)|10]] [[King of the Hill (season 11)|11]] [[King of the Hill (season 12)|12]] [[King of the Hill (season 13)|13]] [[King of the Hill (season 14)|14]] | [[King of the Hill|Main]] ---- '''''[[W:King of the Hill|King of the Hill]]''''' (1997-present) is an American adult animated sitcom that aired on Fox. The show centers around the Hill family, whose head is the ever-responsible, hard-working, loyal, disciplined, and honest Hank Hill. === ''[[w: Pilot (King of the Hill)|Pilot]]'' [1.01] === <hr width="50%"/> :'''Bill Dauterive''': ''[first lines]'' Yep. :'''Dale Gribble''': ''[first lines]'' Yep. :'''Hank Hill''': ''[first lines]'' Yep. :'''Jeff Boomhauer''': ''[first lines]'' Mmm-Hmm. Hank Hill You Can’t Always Get What You Want :'''Bill Dauterive''': You know what it could be… That damn started motor. You’re getting good compression? :'''Hank Hill''': Yeah! :'''[[w:Dale Gribble|Dale Gribble]]''': I know what's wrong with it. It's a [[w:Ford Motor Company|Ford]]. You know what they say Ford stands for, don't ya? It stands for 'Fix it again, Tony'. :'''[[w:Hank Hill|Hank Hill]]''': You're thinking of a ''[[w:Fiat|Fiat]]'', Dale. :'''Dale Gribble''': "Fix... it... again..." <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Hank Hill|Hank Hill]]''': Whatcha listenin' to, son? :'''Bobby Hill''': I don't think you'd like it. :'''Hank Hill''': Well, why not? I like this new generation of music. [puts headphones on] :'''Old woman on tape''': Hello? :[The tape erupts into sudden flatulence] :'''Hank Hill''': [takes headphones off] Mother of God, it's all toilet sounds! Where did you record this? :'''Bobby Hill''': I bought it at the mall! It's the Funny Phone Jerks! :'''Hank Hill''': Let me tell you, Bobby, there's nothing "funny" about these sounds! What that person on your tape has is a medical disorder. Now you get ready for the game, OK? :'''Bobby Hill''': Yes, sir. :'''Hank Hill''': [leaving Bobby's room] That boy ain't right. <hr width="50%"/> :[The Hill family on the way to Bobby's baseball game] :'''Hank Hill''': So, are you ready to kick some Wildcat butt, Bobby? :'''Bobby Hill''': Okay. :'''Peggy Hill''': Nah, don't you worry, son. You just do your best. :'''Hank Hill''': Don't listen to her, Bobby. If you wanna win, you're gonna have to do better than your best. :'''Bobby Hill''': How do I do that? :'''Hank Hill''': You gotta give a hundred and ten percent. That's what'll give you that winnin' edge. :'''Bobby Hill''': But what if the Wildcats give a hundred and ten percent, too? :'''Hank Hill''': Well, then you gotta try even harder. :'''Peggy Hill''': How about if Bobby gave a hundred and twelve percent? :'''Hank Hill''': Ahm ... sure, that'd work. :'''Bobby Hill''': Or maybe a hundred and thirteen? :'''Hank Hill''': [Annoyed] Yeah, yeah, that's even better. :'''Peggy Hill''': No, uh, I don't know. Thirteen is a very unlucky number. :'''Hank Hill''': Look, we're not talking about thirteen. We're talking about a hundred and thirteen, and even ... uh ... okay, give a hundred and twelve, what's the difference? Look, Bobby. Just do your best, okay? <hr width="50%"/> Hank and Bobby at the Mega Lo Mart after Bobby got a black eye at his baseball game. :'''Hank Hill''': Excuse me, where's the hardware department? :'''Buckley''': [Clueless, unsure of how to respond] Where is the hardware department? Uhm, hm, what exactly is it you're looking for? :'''Hank Hill''': The hardware department. :'''Buckley''': Yeah, but are you looking for like a tool or something? :'''Hank Hill''': What difference does it make? :'''Buckley''': Huh, what difference does it make? :'''Hank Hill''': Okay, I'm lookin' for a [[w:tap and die|tap and die]] and some '''[[w:WD-40|WD-40]]'''. :'''Buckley''': Huh, what is it that you're trying to do? :'''Hank Hill''': [Losing patience] I'm tryin' to buy a tap and die and some WD-40 and get out of this God-forsaken store! :'''Buckley''': Uh ... and what is a tap-and-die? :'''Hank Hill''': [angrily, can’t take it anymore] Okay, forget it! Let's say I want a hammer. [[w:Hammer|Do you know what a hammer is?]] That's what I want, a damned hammer! Now where in the hell would I go? As this exchange goes on, the camera cuts to two other women shopping nearby. Hank is still yelling at Buckley in the background. :'''Nearby Customer 1''': Hey, that's that Hank Hill fella that lives on the block next to us. :'''Nearby Customer 2''': He sure has a temper, doesn't he? :'''Nearby Customer 1''': Sure does. Makes you wonder who gave his boy that black eye. Bobby knocks over some cans swinging a cardboard roll around. :'''Buckley''': You're gonna have to pay for that, dude. :'''Hank Hill''': [Shouting] YOU'RE FIRED!! <hr width="50%"/> Hank is fixing his truck. :'''Hank Hill''': [referring to the sound of Bobby throwing a baseball at the living room wall] Dammit! There it is again! Where is that thumpin' comin' from? It's drivin' me crazy! :'''Dale Gribble''': Could be far-off helicopters... U.N. helicopters. :'''Hank Hill''': Dale! What're you doin'? Give me some light! Now! I--I can't see! (Hank drops his wrench) Ow, my arm! (The hood closes) Ow, my head! Dale runs off. <hr width="50%"/> A Child Protective Services worker interviews the family after a report for Bobby's black eye. :'''Anthony Page''': Mr. Hill, I feel that you're coming from an anger mindset, and if you're projecting this anger onto me, it gives me grave concerns as to how you facilitate your son's growth in private. :'''Hank Hill''': Mister, I have not begun to project my anger onto you! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Anthony Page''': Please, Mr. Hill? Loud is not allowed. :'''Hank Hill''': What the- "Loud is not allowed"? Now you listen to me, mister. ''([[w:Battle Hymn of the Republic|patriotic music]] starts to play as hank gets increasingly angrier)'' I work for a livin', and I mean [[w:Blue-collar worker|real work]], not [[w:White-collar worker|writin' down gobbledegook!]] I provide the people of this community with [[w:propane|propane]] and [[w:Propane#Uses|propane accessories]]. Oh, when I think of all my hard earned [[w:Taxation in the United States|tax dollars]] goin' ta pay a bunch of little twig-boy bureaucrats like you, it just makes me wanna ... oh ... oh God ... it just ... ''(record scratch)'' :'''Peggy Hill''': Hank? :'''Hank Hill''': Honey, bring me my BC headache powder and a glass of water. :'''Peggy Hill''': Alright, Hank. :'''Hank Hill''': Now you listen here. You see that boy? ''(music resumes)'' That's '''my''' boy! And if you ever try to take him away, so help me God, I'll tear ya a new one bigger'n the [[w:Grand Canyon|Grand Canyon]]! Now I want you to get out of my house. You're not welcome here! '''I mean NOW, before I give YOU a black eye! ''GIT!''''' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Bill Dauterive''' Dale, are you sure you want to be messin' with Hank's truck when he's not around? :'''Dale Gribble''': I'm gonna help get him this alternator off. (Dale cuts a wire). :'''Bill''': Ah, Dale, I think ya released the brake cable! Dale? :'''Dale''': No, I didn't. (The truck crashes into the garage door). I guess I'd better get goin', ah, I got some edging to do. (Dale grabs his cap out of the engine and he, along with Bill and Boomhauer, run back to their homes). <hr width="50%"/> :'''Dale Gribble''': Hey, I know what's wrong with your truck. It's your "quote-unquote" pollution controls. [[w:Climate change denial|I heard on talk radio you don't even need them. They're just an egghead government plot.]] :'''Hank Hill''': How is cutting down on pollution a government plot, Dale? :'''Dale Gribble''': Open up your eyes, man. They're trying to control global warming. Get it? GLO-BAL. :'''Hank Hill''': So what? :'''Dale Gribble''': That's code for U.N. commissars telling Americans what the temperature's going to be in our outdoors. I say let the world warm up, see what [[w:Boutros Boutros-Ghali|Boutros Boutros-Ghali]]-Ghali thinks about that! We'll grow oranges in Alaska. :'''Hank Hill''': Dale, you giblet-head, [[w:Climate of Texas|we live in Texas]]. It's already 110°[F] in the summer, [[w:Climate change in Texas|and if it gets one degree hotter, I'm gonna kick your ass!]] <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hank Hill''': Bobby, you can't make an omelette without breakin' eggs, and you can't get on base without takin' a swing. :'''Bobby Hill''': The pitcher could walk me, couldn't he? :'''Hank Hill''': Don't play lawyer-ball, son. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Boomhauer''': [discussing ''[[w:Seinfeld|Seinfeld]]''] See that part where dang ol' George come in there, he talks 'bout tastin' his own burp and Kramer comes slidin' in there just like he always does. I tell ya what, man, them dang ol' New York boys, just a show about nothin'. <hr width="50%"/> Bobby is talking with Joseph. :'''Bobby''': (Mocking his dad) Git out my house! My boy ain't much, but he's all I got! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hank''': (Hank is lying on the bed) It's hard, Peggy. I don't wanna lose my little boy. My only son. But, oh, it's hard. :'''Peggy''': Well, you can relax. The investigation has been off for a week, only Bobby didn't tell us. :'''Hank''': [Yelling furiously] I'LL KILL HIM!!!!! :'''Peggy''': Alright, calm down, honey. Now, let me explain. He didn't do it to be mean, Bobby honestly doesn't think you love him all the time. :'''Hank''': That's crazy, 'Course I love him. :'''Peggy''': Very good. Now, say it to Bobby. :'''Hank''': What are you talkin' about? :'''Peggy''': I want you to tell Bobby that your love for him is unconditional. :'''Hank''': Well, I can't say that. I can't! You know how I was raised! What my father's like! :'''Cotton''': ''(shown in a flashback to Hank's youth)'' I got my shins blowed off by a Japanman's machine gun, so don't come cryin' to me with your problems! :'''Peggy''': Honey, I'm begging you. For the sake of this family, you have got to do it. He's waiting for you out on the porch. :'''Hank''': Ah, jeez. Twig-boy coming over here... (Hank goes outside and talks to Bobby)'' Uh, you, uh, you're my son, uh, well, you know with everything uh, that entails, uh... :'''Bobby''': Uh-huh. :'''Hank''': Uh, huh, you know, uh, feelings of, uh, fondness, and more, uh, heh, uh, you know what I mean, don't you, boy? :'''Bobby''': No. :'''Hank''': Uhh, well uh, ''(Hank makes a weird sound)'' Huh, that's a hell of a weird sound, I've never made that before. Uh, I, you, uh, family. You're not making this easy on me, boy. (sighs) Okay, I love you no matter what you do. There, phew, let's go get something to eat. :'''Bobby''': I'm not, just a big disappointment to you? :'''Hank''': Disappointment? No, you make me proud. I've been disappointed by just about everything else in this town, but you? Not once. Dammit, you're my boy. Heh, you know better than that. (Bobby laughing) :'''Anthony Page''': He punched him! I, I knew it! I told them! Did-did you see that? :'''Bus Passenger''': See what, twig-boy? :'''Anthony Page''': ''(sighs)'' Never mind. === ''[[w:Square Peg (King of the Hill)|Square Peg]]'' [1.02] === <hr width="50%"/> Peggy Hill attempts to tell Bobby [[w:birds and the bees|about the facts of life.]] :'''[[w:Peggy Hill|Peggy Hill]]''': Now, Bobby, you may have noticed that there is [[w:Sex differences in human physiology|a difference between a man and a woman]]. Bobby remains silent :'''Peggy''': ...a rather <i>obvious</i> difference. Bobby remains silent for a few more moments :'''Bobby''': You mean the [[w:Human penis|penis]]? ''Peggy, unsure of how to respond, stands up and walks out of the room totally silent.'' <hr width="50%"/> :''Hank walks into the kitchen, Peggy is finishing up a phone call'': :'''Hank''': Hey there Peg-Leg! :'''Peggy''': That was Bobby's principal. [[w:Dale Gribble|Some right-wing maniac]] just called the health teacher with a death threat and she quit. :'''Hank''': Oh well. I'm sure it was just some harmless nutcase. (cut to Dale struggling to open his beer properly) :'''Hank''': Hey, on the bright side, since there's no one to teach that sex-ed course, we can put all this ugliness back in the closet. :'''Peggy''': Oh, no, Hank. They found someone. They found the Substitute Teacher of the Year. :'''Hank''': Uh, 1995? :'''Peggy''': [No, me, the winner of] 1996. :''(Hank grimaces. Cut to commercial)'' <hr width="50%"/> :''The phone is ringing at the Hill residence. Hank picks it up'': :'''Hank''': Hello? :'''Threatening caller''': ''(hoarse voice)'' You don't know who I am, but I know where you live, and if you teach that sex-ed class, so help me, I- :'''Hank''': Dale? Is that you? :'''Dale''': ''(normal voice)'' Oh. Hank. Uh, can I speak with Peggy? :'''Hank''': Uh, Peggy, it's for you. It's Dale. :'''Peggy''': Y'ello, Dale. :'''Dale''': ''(hoarse voice)'' You don't know where I am, but I know where you live... <hr width="50%"/> :''Peggy is attempting to say the names of reproductive organs for a sexual education class.'': :'''Peggy''': Happiness. Happ-i-ness. Ha-penis. Penis. I did it! Ovaries. Uvula. Uterus. VAAAGINA! :''[Hank does a spit-take with his beer.]'': :'''Peggy''': Hey Hank, I just said... :'''Hank''': I heard ya! The whole neighborhood can hear you cussing! :'''Peggy''': It's not cussing Hank, to say the name of a god-given body part. :'''Hank''': Well it is if it's the part of a body that was meant to be concealed by an undergarment. You're dealing with organs that people just don't want to know about. :'''Peggy''': Well, Bobby ought to know about 'em. We don't want him growing up as repressed as we did. :'''Hank''': Sure we do. I'm drawing the line here, Peggy. My son is not gonna learn this crazy crap! It says right here that he can't take the class without permission from both his parents! :'''Peggy''': Now, just hold on. Are you saying I'm not good enough to teach my own son?! :'''Hank''': If you do not approve, you do not have to sign, and I do not approve. Permission denied! <hr width="50%"/> :''[Dale is leaving a message on the Hill's answering machine]'' :'''[[w:Dale Gribble|Dale Gribble]]''': You don't know who I am, but I know where you live and you better cut it out if you know what's good for you. Oh, and Hank, we changed that tee-off time to 3:00. === ''The Order of the Straight Arrow'' [1.03] === :'''[[w:Hank Hill|Hank Hill]]''': [As a child] When I grow up, I want to sell propane and propane accessories, if my grades are good enough! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Peggy''': [''to Bobby & Joseph inside the tent''] Son, Peggy Hill knows half a swear word when she hears one. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Bill''': I'm so depressed I can't even blink. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hank Hill''': We of the Order of the Straight Arrow call upon the spirit Wematanye, protector of the sacred ground that brings us cool water to drink and energy-efficient clean-burning propane gas for all our sacred heating and cooking needs. Wematanye says, respect the earth! She's ours, by God, our taxes pay for Her. Also, it says here you gotta love all Her creatures. Let's see...oh, here we go: Though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you're gonna recommend us to the spirit in the sky, with liberty and justice for all. Wematanye is with you, and with Texas. Amen. ===''Hank's Got the Willies'' [1.04] === :'''Hank''': ''[awaken from his dream as he hears honking]'' Willie, no! That's a one-way street! ---------- :'''Bill''': ''[about the long honking sound]'' Sounds like your horn's going off! :'''Hank''': You really think so, Bill? :'''Bill''': Oh Yeah! :'''Dale''': Dang it, Hank! You know I can't have loud, sudden noises while I'm meditating! I was a nose hair away from attaining inner peace! ---------- :'''Hank''': Santa Claus is for babies! :'''Bill''': ''[sad]'' [[w:You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch|You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch!]] ---------- :'''Hank''': [Bobby] seems bent on destroying everything I own. Why can't he turn that energy into something useful, like [[w:Terry Fox|that boy with no legs]] who [[w:Marathon of Hope|ran across Canada?]] ---------- :'''Hank''': Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was the bathroom...Oh, good Lord! [''sees a weak nerd which doesn't look like Bobby''] ===''Luanne's Saga'' [1.05] === :'''[[w:Hank Hill|Hank Hill]]''': Your heart is telling you?! Who's the boss, you or your heart? You are! Your heart is your employee! So get your heart off its butt and back to work! ===''Hank's Unmentionable Problem'' [1.06] === Peggy is dreaming about Hank's funeral. :'''[[w:Bill Dauterive|Bill Dauterive]]''': He looks like an angel. A dead angel. :'''[[w:Boomhauer|Boomhauer]]''': (crying) Why, man, dang ol' why, why?! :'''[[w:Dale Gribble|Dale Gribble]]''': It should have been Bill! :'''[[w:Peggy Hill|Peggy Hill]]''': Oh, Hank. We never got a chance to talk about your problem. And now... we never will. :'''[[w:C. Everett Koop|C. Everett Koop]]''': Remember, early detection is the key. Now pass in your algebra homework. Bill, Boomhauer, Dale and Peggy produce said homework and give it to Koop. Peggy gasps. Hank's coffin is lowered into grave. :'''[[w:Cotton Hill|Cotton Hill]]''': Goodbye, boy. See you in HELL! Cotton turns a toilet handle on Hank's headstone. Hank's coffin is sucked into the ground. Peggy lets out one last wail of despair before she suddenly wakes up. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Nancy Gribble''': (on TV) The temperature is a pleasant 70 degrees. And on a more personal note, I'd like to wish my friend Hank Hill a quick recovery from his embarrassing consti- Hank changes the channel. :'''C. Everett Koop''': -pation. :'''[[w:Hank Hill|Hank Hill]]''': (While constipated and watching his dog poo outside) Showoff. :'''[[w:Hank Hill|Hank Hill]]''':"Don't touch me. I'm on the John." <hr width="50%" /> :''[last lines, to the audience]'' :'''Hank Hill''': You might have noticed in tonight's episode, there is some brief nudity. Now, as an actor, I only do nudity when I feel the script warrants it. And I thought tonight's episode only warranted seeing the side of my rump. You can believe me when I tell you the Fox executives were pushing for a whole lot more. If any of you were offended by my body, I'm truly sorry. Good night. ===''Westie Side Story'' [1.07] === :'''[[w:Hank Hill|Hank Hill]]''': What the hell kind of country is this where I can only hate a man if he's white? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Peggy Hill''': Do you... do you think my feet are too big, Hank? :'''Hank Hill''': No, hon. Just... more of you to love. [He takes a step forward towards her, like an on-screen embrace] :'''Peggy Hill''': Ow. [Hanks looks down to see he's stepping on Peggy's feet] :'''Hank Hill''': Oh, sorry. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Minh Souphanousinphone|Minh Souphanousinphone]]''': Kahn, please. For once try not to piss off neighbor. We kicked out of Laos, we kicked out of Anaheim... I tired of running. <hr width="50%"/> Hank meets Kahn for the first time. :'''Hank Hill''': So are you Chinese or Japanese? :'''[[w:Toby Huss|Kahn Souphanousinphone]]''': I live in California last twenty year, but, ah... first come from Laos. :'''Hank Hill''': Huh? :'''Kahn Souphanousinphone''': Laos. We Laotian. :'''[[w:Bill Dauterive|Bill Dauterive]]''': The ocean? What ocean? :'''Kahn Souphanousinphone''': We are Laotian--from Laos, stupid! [[w:Laos|It's a landlocked country in Southeast Asia]]. It's between [[w:Vietnam|Vietnam]] and [[w:Thailand|Thailand]], okay? [[w:Demographics_of_Laos|Population: 4.7 million]].<!--Circa 1998, anyway--> Hank ponders this for a few seconds. :'''Hank Hill''': So are you Chinese or Japanese? :'''Kahn Souphanousinphone''': [groans] <hr width="50%"/> :'''Bobby Hill''': Dad, look. Ladybird and Doggie like eachother. :'''Hank Hill''': Of course they do, Son, they're neighbors. [to Kahn] Y'know, Kahn, I just found a breeding partner for my Ladybird. If you're interested in having a real American dog, I can give- :[cut to Doggie [[w:Canine reproduction|mounting]] Ladybird] :'''Hank Hill''': What the hell?! Get him off! Get him off of her! [Hank grabs Kahn's watering hose and sprays Doggie and Ladybird] :'''Kahn Souphanousinphone:''' [laughter] Your Ladybird, she real slut! :'''Hank Hill''': Ladybird is not a slut! [[w:Estrous_cycle#Dogs|She is in heat]]. Her hormones have overwhelmed her natural modesty. :[Hank goes to get Ladybird. She stubbornly refuses to move, and Hank struggles to pull her away by the collar] :'''Hank Hill''': For Pete's sake, would you tie up your dog?! :'''Kahn Souphanousinphone:''' You tie your dog. She seduce my Doggie. :'''Hank Hill''': That's ridiculous, Ladybird can only love another purebred Georgia Bloodhound. :[tense music plays] :'''Kahn Souphanousinphone:''' You know what I think, Hank Hill? I think you're a narrow-minded redneck! :'''Hank Hill''': Oh, I get it: [[w:Culture_of_the_Southern_United_States#Popular_culture_images_of_Southerners|Just because I'm from Texas, I gotta be some kind of redneck]]! Chinese and their stupid stereotypes... :'''Kahn Souphanousinphone:''' Get off my property! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hank Hill''': Please, Kahn. You're burning them! That's too much char. :'''Kahn Souphanousinphone:''' Shut mouth and open mouth. <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Dale Gribble|Dale Gribble]]''': They'll probably get you with a blow-dart; that's their way. But you'll just think its a mosquito bite until you die, then you'll know the truth. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Kahn Souphanousinphone:''': I could just stay home, order a bucket of chicken and watch [[w:Hee Haw|Hee Haw]]; same thing [as going to the Hills' for dinner]. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hank Hill''': You know Kahn, we may deny our kids completely different deserts, but they both go to bed hungry, and that's what really matters. <hr width="50%"/> :''[last lines]'' :'''Minh Souphanousinphone:''' Rabbit, you rednecks will eat anything! ===''Shins of the Father'' [1.08] === The Hills, their neighbors, and sundry guests are congregated around a table as Bobby opens his presents. :'''[[w:Cotton Hill|Cotton Hill]]''': Mr. Kahn, I'll have a Mai Tai. :'''Kahn Souphanousinphone''': (offended) What- what you think?! I work for Hank?! :'''Hank Hill''': Uh, dad, this here's my new neighbor. :'''Dale Gribble''': (sotto, to Cotton) He's Japanese. :'''Cotton Hill''': No he ain't. (visually inspects Kahn for a moment) He's Laotian. Ain't you, Mr. Kahn? Cotton walks offscreen. Kahn looks at the camera with a surprised expression. <hr width="50%"/> Cotton discovers that Bobby began a sexist riot at his school. :'''Cotton Hill''': Bobby, I'm proud of what you did at school today....So I'm buyin' you a hooker! Go ahead pick yourself out a live one. <hr width="50%"/> Hank thanks Cotton for bringing a horse ("Oh Dad, you didn't have to do this.") :'''Cotton Hill''': Well, you know me-- I'm larger than life. <hr width="50%"/> '''Cotton tells the story of how he was injured in WWII:''' "I was 14, just a little older than Bobby. But I knew Uncle Sam needed me, so I lied and signed up. We had beat the [[w:Nazi Germany|Nazzies]] in Italy, and they shipped me to the [[w:Pacific War|Pacific theater]]. A [[w:Empire of Japan|Tojo]] torpedo sent our troop ship to the bottom. I could only save three of my buddies: Fatty, Stinky, and Brooklyn. They were kind of like you fellas [to Bill, Dale, and Boomhauer], only one of them was from [[w:Brooklyn|Brooklyn]]. Out of the sun came a [[w:Mitsubishi A6M Zero|Tojo Zero]] and put fitty bullets in my back. The blood attracted sharks. I had to give 'em Fatty. Then things took a turn for the worse. I made it to an island, but it was full of Tojos! [[Flag desecration|They were spitting on the U.S. flag!]] So I rushed 'em, but it was a trap. They opened fire and blew my shins off. Last thing I remember, I beat 'em all to death with a big piece of Fatty. I woke up in a field hospital, and they were sewing my feet to my knees." <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Bobby Hill|Bobby Hill]]''': [Speaking to Joseph about Connie]: Oow. She's moody. Must be PBS. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cotton Hill''': ''[to Luanne]'' You will never know if you are attractive. It's up to a man to tell you that. You keep eating, and I'll tell you when to stop. :''[Cotton slaps Luanne's rear end]'' :'''Luanne''': Touch me again, and you'll be wearing that cornpone, old man. :'''Cotton Hill''': Hoo-wee! Fiesty! ===''Peggy the Boggle Champ'' [1.09] === :'''Peggy''': Now, Minh, the game of [[w:Boggle|Boggle]] is really quite simple. The goal is to make words out of these 25 letter cubes. ''[shakes the tray and slams it on the table]'' Ho yeah! :''[Peggy lifts the cover and the game begins]'' :'''Minh''': Ba mee tom yum. :'''Nancy''': It's gotta be a '''real''' word, honey. :'''Minh''' Yes! Ba mee tom yum, Thai spicy noodle soup! Tasty and delicious. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Dale''': I'll tell you, I hate to see Nancy cooped up all Sunday playing that Boggle. It's a beautiful day! She oughta be outside hanging my laundry! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Luanne''': Boy, Aunt Peg, the words I don’t know could fill a dictionary. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Nancy''': You know, the [[w:Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks|Elks]] are having a Boggle tournament in order to raise bail money for their treasurer. Maybe you should enter. :'''Peggy''': Me? Oh, fish, I just play for fun! Minh, you owe me $13. :'''Minh:''': ''[gives Peggy her money]'' Thank you for Boggle lesson, Peggy Hill! Maybe next week I teach you mahjong. Bring your checkbook! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Peggy''': Hank, I'm thinking of entering a Boggle tournament over at the Elks. :'''Hank''' Boggle? Boy, the Elks will do anything for a dollar. Are they still playing that game where the cow's gotta drop dung in a square? :'''Peggy''': Boggle is nothing like [[w:Bovine bingo|cow bingo]], Hank. Boggle is a game of wits. Now, cow bingo is a game of strategy. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Dale''': Boy, that wife of yours is pretty good! I guess that's why they call her your "better half!" ''[chuckles]'' :'''Hank''' Who calls her that?! :''[beat]'' :'''Dale''': …They. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Peggy''': Hey, you wanna be my coach? :'''Hank''': A Boggle coach? What would I do? :'''Peggy''': Well, Hank, you don't have to do anything, you just have to be there. Unless you want me to go up to Dallas by myself. :'''Hank''': Dallas? I don't want you going to Dallas at all! That place is crawling with crack heads and debutantes. And half of them play for the [[w:Dallas Cowboys|Cowboys]]. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Hank is checking in at the Dallas hotel front desk]'' :'''Hank''': Checking in. The name's Hank Hill. :'''Concierge''': Hmmm… nope. I have a "''Peggy'' Hill". :'''Hank''': Yeah, that's it, "Hank and Peggy Hill". :'''Concierge''': I have a "'''Peggy''' Hill"! :'''Hank''': She's my wife. :'''Concierge''': Okay, uh, "Mr. and Mrs. Peggy Hill". :'''Hank''': ''[hits the table with his fist with each exclamation point, ringing the bell and summoning one bellhop behind him each time]'' Now you listen to me! '''The name is HANK! Hill! Mister! Hank! Hill! Peggy married ME! I didn't marry HER!''' :''[Hank looks behind at the small crowd of bellhops now behind him]'' :'''Hank''': '''WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!''' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Peggy''': ''[crying]'' I am so stupid! :'''Hank''': Aw, you're not stupid. Heck, you're smarter than me. :'''Peggy''': Oh, big deal! :'''Hank''': Well, you're smarter than anyone else in Arlen. :'''Peggy''': Well, whoop-dee-do! I am the smartest hillbilly in Hillbillytown! :'''Hank''': I-I'm trying Peggy. I just… hey, you know Coach used to say something that would fire us up when we were behind? :'''Peggy''': Yeah? What? :'''Hank''':[furiously]] LOSER! YOU'RE A LOSER! ARE YOU FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF?! WELL, YOU SHOULD BE CAUSE YOU ARE '''DIRT!''' YOU MAKE ME SICK, YOU BIG BABY! BABY WANT A BOTTLE?! '''A BIG DIRT BOTTLE?!''' :'''Peggy''': ''[crying harder]'' WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?! :'''Hank''': Uh, well, I'm trying to be your coach. I… It's… It's inspiring! :'''Peggy Hill''': Well, thank you, cause I feel worse than ever! :'''Hank Hill''': Well, it worked for the team. :'''Peggy''': No it didn't! You went to State and lost! :'''Hank''': Ah, jeez! I think I need one of those $8 beers. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Boomhauer is playing a virtual reality mowing simulator.]'' :'''Boomhauer''': Man that dang ol' piece of crap dang ol' blocked up, ''[reaches into the mower to get the grass out]'' g-get grass out there that-- ''[sees that his fingers have been chopped off in the game]'' '''AHH! I AIN'T GOT NO FINGERS!''' ===''Keeping Up With Our Joneses'' [1.10] === :'''Hank Hill''': Is this [[w:Toilet|John]] occupied? ¿Es esta Juan occupado? :'''Bobby Hill''': ''Sí.'' :'''Hank Hill''': Bobby? :''[He rips the public bathroom door open to see Bobby and Joseph smoking a cigarette. Everyone is in shock]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Dale Gribble''': Joseph, I understand you smoked your first cigarette today. :'''Joseph Gribble''': Dad, I'm sorry! I'll never smoke again. :'''Dale Gribble''': Whoa, hold on, son! I want you to keep an open mind so you can make an informed decision. If you want, you can read a bloated government report on smoking or go straight to the horse's mouth and get the facts from the tobacco industry! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hank Hill''': For God's sakes, Bobby, what nationality are you? :'''Bobby Hill''': American. :'''Hank Hill''': Then why are you holding your cigarette like some kind of European Nazi in a movie? :'''Bobby Hill''': Why does it matter? :'''Hank Hill''': That's not the right sort of attitude for you to have. Whatever you do, you should do right, even if it's something wrong. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hank Hill''': Uh, I got to go do some stuff. I think I might have left the blender on. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Peggy Hill''': ''[to Bobby]'' Bobby, smoking is a nasty, filthy filthy habit and only trailer trash smoke nowadays. Now do you wanna look like trailer trash? :'''Luanne Platter''': That's not fair! I don't smoke! ''[she starts crying runs away in tears]'' :'''Peggy Hill''': Ah, Lu- uh. Lord, Hank you finish this. Oh, honey, you are not trash just 'cause you grew up in a trailer and your mama's in prison. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Peggy Hill''': Uh, Hank, there is a "tile" in the bathroom that I think we missed. :'''Hank Hill''': Really? Well, I better check that out. :''[Hank goes into the bathroom, sees a cigarette, smokes a few puffs, then returns to the kitchen]'' :'''Hank Hill''': Heh-heh-heh. Well, I found the "tile" — thank you very much, Peggy — and I looked at it but there's still some more "tile" for you to look at. :'''Peggy Hill''': You know, I think I will save the rest of my "tile" for after breakfast. :'''Bobby Hill''': Will you stop talking about your stupid tile?! If it's so dirty go clean it, and if it's clean you can shut up!! :''[He stubs out his breakfast sausage as if it were a cigarette and leaves the table]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hank Hill''': ''[at a cold turkey support group meeting, glaring at the counselor]'' I got the strangest feeling someone's gonna kick his ass. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Kick the Butt Club Counselor''': Hey, there, why don't you tell us your name and how long you've been smoking. :'''Hank Hill''': Uh, I'd rather not. :'''Kick the Butt Club Counselor''': I understand. It's not easy to admit we're weak. :'''Hank Hill''': You're calling me weak?!? Look at your little birdy arms, they're no thicker than a cigarette! I could smoke them little arms! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Kick the Butt Club Counselor''': Is this your son? It's beautiful how you came out to support your daddy. :'''Bobby Hill''': I'm a smoker, too. :''Everyone gasps.'' :'''Kick the Butt Club Counselor''': Oh, no. How long have you been addicted to cigarettes? :'''Bobby Hill''': Since my dad let me smoke a whole carton. :'''Hank Hill''': Wait a minute, I didn't let him, I ''made'' him. It was a punishment. :''[Everyone murmurs in anger, disgusted with Hank]'' :'''Bill Dautrieve''': Can I get a new buddy? :'''Audience member''': What is wrong with him? :'''Kick the Butt Club Counselor''': You are sick, sir! You shouldn't be ''allowed'' to have children! :'''Hank Hill''': Now hold on a minute here. I didn't bring my family here to be yelled at. I don't think I like this club. You all whine too much, and the coffee's bad. I'll tell you what you need to do. You need to take a thirteenth step... down off your high horse! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Luanne Platter''': Here's to three of the bravest individuals in all of Arlen. To the Hills and their tobacco-free future! :'''Hank Hill''': My God, are you ''still'' talking?! :'''Bobby Hill''': Why's my potato got ''skin'' on it? I hate skin! :'''Peggy Hill''': I will not sit here and have my work insulted! What, do you think the potatoes just fly into the bowl and ''mash themselves?!!'' :'''Luanne Platter''': I know y'all don't mean none of those harsh words. It's just the nicotine withdrawal. :'''Hank Hill''': Why is she still talking?!! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Luanne Platter''': ''[after finding Peggy hiding in the closet with a cigarette]'' I found her. :'''Peggy Hill''': Close the damn door!! Can't you see that I am knitting!! :'''Bobby Hill''': Mom. Hand over the cigarette! :'''Peggy Hill''': Nooooo! :'''Bobby Hill''': Mom this is not your son, this is your buddy! :'''Peggy Hill''': NOOOOO!! :'''Bobby Hill''': Hand it over!! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Luanne Platter''': ''[locking the family in the bedroom]'' I'm crating ya'll in like an unruly dog. I am sick of dysfunctional families. I came from one, and I am not gonna let it happen to you. Function!! Function damn you!!! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Peggy Hill''': Okay. Women and children first. I take the first puff, Bobby here get's the second, if there's anything left...you. :'''Hank Hill''': Who are you trying to kid? We all know there won't be anything left. Lets you and me split it Peg! It'll be romantic! You know like the old days, before ''he'' came along! :'''Bobby Hill''': Momma. It's your son. Nine months inside remember? Those were good times too! :'''Peggy Hill''': I don't know. Now this is just happening too fast, I just don't know. :'''Hank Hill''': Well I do! Come on Bobby, you and I can take her! You go high, I'll go low! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Peggy Hill''': Well, look at us. At each other's throats. And after all we've been through. This family has survived fires and twisters and every strain of flu the Orient could throw at us. Well, we are not going to be done in by a lousy tobacco leaf. We're gonna make it. Together. ===''King of the Ant Hill'' [1.11] === ''(Note: the following quote comes from a deleted scene)'' :'''[[w:Kahn Souphanousinphone|Kahn Souphanousinphone]]''': Put on shoes, hillbilly! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Kahn Souphanousinphone''': Where I come from we got this thing called [[w:Karma|karma]]. You do something bad, it come back and bite you in the ass! Big, white, stubborn ass! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Bobby Hill''': (Hypnotized by the [[w:Queen_ant|Queen]])...YES... ...MY... ...QUEEN... <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hank Hill''': (on his mower, talking to an anthill) Put your head between your six legs and kiss your butt good-bye! (runs over the anthill) <hr width="50%"/> :''[Dale had just destroyed Hank's lawn. Dale passes by Hank's lawn while Peggy is talking to Hank.]'' :'''Hank Hill''': ''[After just noticing Dale]'' '''''DALE!''''' :''[Dale yells and hurries to his van.]'' :'''Dale Gribble''': Oh, man! :'''Hank Hill''': Dale, you went too far this time! Come back here! ''[Starts chasing Dale]'' Come here! I'm gonna kick your ass! :'''Dale Gribble''': No! ''NO!'' :'''Hank Hill''': I'm gonna kick it ''harder'' if you don't come over here! :'''Dale Gribble''': ''[desperate]'' You shouldn't have fired me! You know what I'm like! I'm capable of any crazy thing! :'''Hank Hill''': But my ''lawn'', Dale! You don't mess with a man's LAWN! :'''Dale Gribble''': I had no choice! I tried planting the ants in your driveway, but they didn't take! They couldn't bite through cement! They're weak, ''like me!'' ''[Wheezes]'' <hr width="50%"/> ''(Said to Dale Gribble after he mistakenly thought Dale had died from a poisonous ant attack)'' :'''Hank Hill''': ''(remorseful)'' Oh... oh, God. You sacrificed your life to save my son. I guess that makes us even for you ruinin' my lawn... What am I saying? Of course, it makes us even... :''(Dale coughs up some fire ants)'' :'''Dale Gribble''': While I was blacked out, was anything inserted into me? :'''Hank Hill''': ''(relieved)'' You're alive? :'''Dale Gribble''': ...answer the question. ===''Plastic White Female'' [1.12]=== Luanne comes home with her practice head for her exam :'''Luanne''': Look, Aunt Peggy, I got my practice head! It's got real hair and everything! :'''Peggy''': (approaching) Well, Luanne, it's a very nice head- :'''Luanne''': (interrupting sharply and furiously) '''''DON'T TOUCH IT!!''''' (calmly) Aunt Peggy, I can't let anything happen to it before my final exam. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Bobby''':(Talking to a mannequin head) "You look really special tonight." <hr width="50%"/> Peggy on what their course of action after catching Bobby kissing the mannequin head :'''[[w:Peggy Hill|Peggy]]''': We'll move to [[w:Berlin|Berlin]]. Bobby will be accepted there. I read somewhere that [[w:Germany|Germans]] are a very tolerant people. Their culture admires all kinds of freaks. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Peggy Hill''': I know it is not my fault. If anything, this is your fault. You made him go to that camp with no toilet doors. :'''Hank Hill''': Don't point your finger at me, woman. You're the one who parks him in front of the TV and makes him watch all [[w:The Muppets|them Muppets]]. They got [[w:Kermit the Frog|frogs]] kissing [[w:Miss Piggy|pigs]], what the hell did they think was going to happen? The salsa music playing during Bobby's 'seduction' of the plastic head is ''Discarga Criolla'' by Ray Barreto. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hank Hill''': ''(Seeing Bobby freeing the practice head in the cabinets)'' Well that just tears it! I have tried to be patient, but now it's time for a little tough love! (snatches the practice head away from Bobby) :'''Bobby''': No...wait! ''(Peggy and Luanne emerge from their rooms, as Bobby chases after Hank)'' :'''Luanne Platter''': What's going on? :'''Peggy Hill''': I don't know. :'''Bobby Hill''': '''NO, DAD, NO!''' ''(The rest of the family looks on in horror as Hank Hill is cutting the practice head in half, lengthwise, with a circular saw.)'' :'''Peggy Hill''': Hank? Stop Hank! Please! :'''Luanne Platter''': Oh no! '''PLEASE DON'T UNCLE HANK!''' ''(The two halves of the practice head fall to the ground from the circular saw.)'' :'''Luanne Platter''': ''(inconsolably screaming)'' '''''MY TEST! WHAT ABOUT MY TEST?!''''' ''(Remembering Luanne needed that head to pass her beauty academy exam, Hank can only smile sheepishly)'' ==External links== {{Wikipedia|King of the Hill}} [[Category:King of the Hill seasons]] eidonirjk0xq1d18ukznloenrz1nu7a 0 190394 3942065 3632475 2026-05-17T14:08:18Z Normantas Bataitis 3082321 made edits due to death 3942065 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Edmund Phelps 2008-01-23.jpg|thumb|Edmund Phelps, 2008]] '''[[:w:Edmund Phelps| Edmund Strother Phelps, Jr.]]''' ([[July 26]], [[1933]] – [[May 15]], [[2026]]) was an American [[economist]], and McVickar Professor of Political Economy at {{w|Columbia University}} since 1982. He was also the director of Columbia's Center on Capitalism and Society. He was the winner of the 2006 [[Nobel Memorial Prize in Economic Sciences]]. {{economist-stub}} == Quotes == * The stampede toward “[[rational expectations]]” — widely thought to be a “revolution,” though it was only a generalization of the neoclassical idea of equilibrium—derailed the expectations-driven model building that had just left the station. In the end, this way of modeling has not illuminated how the world economy works. ** Edmund S. Phelps (2007) "Foreword," in [[Roman Frydman]] and Michael D. Goldberg, ''Imperfect Knowledge Economics: Exchange Rates and Risk''. * What theory can we use to get us out of the impending slump quickly and reliably? To use the 'new classical' theory of fluctuations begun at Chicago in the 1970s – the theory in which the "risk management" models are embedded – is unthinkable, since it is precisely the theory falsified by the asset price collapse. The thoughts of some have turned to John Maynard Keynes. His insights into uncertainty and speculation were deep. Yet his employment theory was problematic and the 'Keynesian' policy solutions are questionable at best....At the end of his life Keynes wrote of 'modernist stuff, gone wrong and turned sour and silly'. He told his friend Friedrich Hayek he intended to re-examine his theory in his next book. He would have moved on. The admiration we all have for Keynes's fabulous contributions should not sway us from moving on. ** Edmund Phelps "Keynes had no sure cure for slumps."in: ''The Financial Times.'' Columbia University, November 4, 2008. * When public spending in the form of transfer payments makes various services and benefits [[free of charge]], work is discouraged. Yet it is precisely Social Security that legislators fear to cut ** [https://quotestats.com/topic/free-of-charge-sayings/ ''free of charge'' sayings] (?)] ** [https://republicquote.com/college-fresher-party-quotes/ ''Quotes for freshers Party"] (?)] ** [https://onedailynews.net/birthday-countdown-quote/ ''Birthday Countdown Quotes"] (?)] ** [https://onebusinessnews.com/ ''Birthday Quotes"] (?)] === "Which Way Forward for Macroeconomics and Policy Analysis?" 2013 === :See ''[[Roman Frydman#"Which Way Forward for Macroeconomics and Policy Analysis?" 2013]]'' == External links == {{Wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Phelps, Edmund}} [[Category:1933 births]] [[Category:2026 deaths]] [[Category:Economists from the United States]] [[Category:Academics from the United States]] [[Category:Nobel laureates in Economics]] [[Category:People from Illinois]] [[Category:Nobel laureates from the United States]] [[Category:Yale University alumni]] [[Category:University of Pennsylvania faculty]] [[Category:Columbia University faculty]] [[Category:New York University faculty]] e5bdnxhjkhet63kfc0sh275gnasjd4u 0 191133 3942167 2504766 2026-05-17T20:50:50Z Ringbang 4436 retargeted to section 3942167 wikitext text/x-wiki #Redirect [[Lucy Maud Montgomery#Anne's House of Dreams (1917)]] 4nn40ujtp264rr6pt452o31i7cvi086 0 192400 3942168 2504765 2026-05-17T20:51:13Z Ringbang 4436 retargeted to section 3942168 wikitext text/x-wiki #Redirect [[Lucy Maud Montgomery#Rainbow Valley (1919)]] r4wzvcayk3lvikm86w4z9isctszqy79 0 193109 3942114 3938463 2026-05-17T17:49:39Z ~2026-29790-93 3323635 /* */ 3942114 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Sausage Party|Sausage Party]]''''' is a [[w:2016|2016]] Canadian 3D [[w:Adult animation|adult animated]] comedy film about a sausage and a bun who discover the truth about what humans do to food at "the Great Beyond". It is the first ever R-rated CGI film. :''Directed by [[w:Conrad Vernon|Conrad Vernon]] & [[w:Greg Tiernan|Greg Tiernan]]. Written by Kyle Hunter, Ariel Shaffir, [[w:Seth Rogen|Seth Rogen]] and [[w:Evan Goldberg|Evan Goldberg]]. Story by Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg and [[w:Jonah Hill|Jonah Hill]]''. {{center|'''Get your Fill!'''&nbsp; <small>([[#Taglines|taglines]])</small>}} ==Dialogue== :'''Frank''': Hey, Brenda. What up, girl? ''[chuckles]'' Sorry about those guys. They're such f***ing d**ks, right? :'''Carl''': ''[off-screen]'' Uh, I can hear you, dude. :'''Frank''': ''[turns to Carl]'' Shut up, f**k you. ''[turns back to Brenda]'' So looks like tomorrow's the big day, huh? ''[chuckles]'' You and me, finally gonna be official. :'''Brenda''': I'm so happy the Gods put our packages together. :'''Frank''': It's because, we belong together. :'''Brenda''': It's like, we were made for each other. :'''Frank''': I can't wait just finally get up in there, just raw dog it. But full disclosure, I'm pretty f***ing nervous about this. I don't know how well, I'm gonna perform once it happens. I've obviously never been in a bun, so. ''[laughs]'' :'''Brenda''': Hey, I'm not gonna be any better. I've never opened up. I mean, look how tight I am. :'''Frank''': Oh, sweet f***ing f**k. Look, okay. I know it's against the rules. But I can't wait anymore. I need to just feel you. :'''Brenda''': Are you thinking what I'm thinking? :'''Both Frank and Brenda''': Just the tips? :'''Brenda''': I can't believe we're doing this. :'''Frank''': I know. We're so naughty. [Laughs] :''[Frank and Brenda are about to touch the tips but then stop]'' :'''Brenda''': But it's fine, right? I mean, nothing bad's ever happened from just the tips. :'''Frank''': No. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. :''[Frank and Brenda then touch the tips]'' :'''Frank & Brenda''': Ah. :'''Frank''': Ooh. Oh yeah, go in there. :'''Brenda''': Ooh. Big tip. :'''Frank''': Oh, you wouldn't dare. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Honey Mustard''': WAKE UP! They're lying to your (bleep) faces! THE GREAT BEYOND IS NO MORE! Why isn't anyone listening to me?! :'''Frank''': Hey, buddy. Are you alright? :'''Honey Mustard''': NO! I'm not alright! It's all a lie! Everything you've been told, everything you believe in. :'''Carl''': Hey, Honey Mustard, you acting cray-cray! :'''Brenda''': Carl, we shouldn't even be talking to this a**hole. Everyone knows Honey Mustard's weird. I mean, what is he? Honey? Is he mustard? It's like, make up your mind, or just kill yourself. :'''Honey Mustard''': You f***ing idiots! I've been there. I've seen that s**t, and there ain't no way I'm going back. :'''Frank''': Wait, wait, wait, wait, you've been to the Great Beyond? :'''Honey Mustard''': "Great", my '''A**HOLE!''' Everything we've ever known is a dirt-covered pile of s**t, jacking off in our f***ing faces, covering our eyes with their cum, so cum-covered we can't f***ing see! We don't know! We don't know they're jerking off into our eyes! Our faces! :'''Brenda''': Dude, shut up, the gods are gonna hear you talking about them... :'''Honey Mustard''': They ain't gods. They're monsters! Horrible, ugly, disgusting, monsters! They ain't gonna get Honey Mustard twice. ''[gives the human the fingers]'' '''(Bleep) YOU, GOOOOOOODS!''' I've got a date with oblivion. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Douche''': Oh, no. Bro! Douche down! I'm out of my f***ing box! :'''Chicken Noodle Soup''': (While he got ripped his gut) Cream of Mushroom? Are you there? (Then a banana got killed after his face peeled off and lied down, then Jelly is dead after she fell and broke her lower part.) :'''Peanut Butter''': Wake up! I'm nothing without you! (Crying for his wife.) :'''Brenda''': Frank, woah! (Then Frank looks at a cookie who looks at her cookie top and when she turns around, she's seen without her cookie back top. Then Brenda moves at Frank and pins him.) :'''Brenda''': Frank! Move your (Bleep) ass! (Then the forward part of the shopping cart comes and roars like [[Wikipedia: lion|lion]] and [[Wikipedia: Mountain gorilla|big gorilla]], as all they're surprised.) :'''Various foods''': Help! Half a moon! :'''Prune''': 'Oh' my God! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Douche''': ''[rushes to the shopper]'' No, no, no. Wait, babe, wait. Please hold up. No, don't go. Come on. I can still get up in there! I could still... get up in there. Oh, my God! MY NOZZ! MY MOTHER (Bleep) NOZZ! :'''Frank''': You okay? :'''Brenda''': I think so. :'''Douche''': Yo, did you two do this to me?! Are you two responsible for my nozzle being irrepressibly f***ed up?! :'''Frank''': Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy, man. Easy. :'''Brenda''': Yeah, your nozzle's bent. Sorry. But, you know what, you should be happy you're alive. :'''Frank''': Yeah, Banana's whole face peeled off, Peanut Butter's wife is dead, look at him, he's right there! :'''Peanut Butter''': [wailing] '''JELLY'''! I'm gonna fix you. I'm gonna fix this. :'''Douche''': You think I give a F**K about PB or J? F**k this! I'mma kick your ass. How you like them apples? :'''Apple''': Who, us? :'''Douche''': No, not you. Come at me, bro. :'''Frank''': Come ''at'' you? What does that mean? :'''Douche''': Fine. You won't come at me? Well then, guess who's comin' at you. Me! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Lavash''': Get away from me. Don't touch me. It was YOU! You c***sucking bagel f***face! :'''Cereal''': Hey, watch it! :'''Lavash''': You pushed me out of the cart! No surprise there, huh? A bagel trying to kill a lavash, once again. :'''Sammy Bagel Jr.''': I pushed YOU? What are you, nuts? Why would I do that? I'm a pacifist. The only thing I've ever pushed is my peaceful agenda which even that I didn't push, you know? I passive-aggressively nudged. I reached out in a panic. It was Toots over here, the bun. She grabbed me! :'''Brenda''': Hey, I was just trying to save Frank. :'''Lavash''': Who is Frank? You? :'''Frank''': Yeah, I'm Frank. :'''Lavash''': The fault is YOURS then, huh? :'''Frank''': Look, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean for any of this to happen. :'''Lavash''': Well, it did, and now you and your stupid useless bun have f***ed us all! :'''Brenda''': Hey, who are you calling useless, you flappy f**k? :'''Lavash''': Sausage, control your insolent bun. And cover her up already. Show some modesty, woman. :'''Brenda''': '''UGH!''' ''[Prepares to fight Lavash, but Sammy holds her back]'' :'''Sammy Bagel Jr.''': Hey, hey. Look, can we all just, you know, calm down a notch, please? Let's try to be, I don't know, amicable. I'm Sammy Bagel Jr. You know, I'm happy to meet all of you. Except for this meshuggener c**t over here. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Frank enters Firewater's cave and finds Firewater himself chanting ''"Hi ya. How are ya?"'' at a fire. Firewater stops when he sees Frank.]'' :'''Firewater''': Hi ya. How are ya? :'''Frank''': Hi ya. How are ''ya''? Uh, I'm Frank. Are you... Firewater? :'''Firewater''': Mmm-hmm. :'''Frank''': What are you doing in this cave? :'''Firewater''': I am the original inhabitant of this land. My kind once had a pristine aisle, majestic and untouched. Then we were driven out of it... by a bunch of goddamn f***ing crackers! :'''Frank''': Oh, yeah. The crackers. They ''do'' have a nice aisle. Uh, okay, anyway, look, I was told that you might have some answers. :'''Firewater''': Answers I have, but first... ''[throws salt into the fire, conjuring an image of a question mark]'' I must know the question. :'''Frank''': Okay, well, before I saw him jump to his death, Honey Mustard said that the Great Beyond is bulls***, and the gods are monsters, and I always kinda thought that it didn't quite add up. So, I, I, I guess my question is what, what really happens in the Great Beyond? :'''Firewater''': ''[after smoking a hit in a kazoo]'' To find that which you seek, all you must do is look deep... into my Bag of Wonderment. ''[pulls out a large sack]'' :'''Frank''': Whoa.... ''[looks into the bag]'' I don't see anything. :'''Firewater''': Deeper, deeper, deeper... ''[Frank leans closer into the bag]'' Put your whole head in the bag there. There you go. :'''Frank''': Just say when, I'm just gonna keep going in. :''[Suddenly the bag is closed around Frank, and everything turns pitch black except for his eyes]'' :'''Firewater''': Guys, get out here! Help me kill this prick! :'''Mr. Grits''': Yeah, this motherf****r knows too much! We get off his ass! :'''Firewater''': Someone hand me a blade! I'll gut this c***sucker! :'''Twink''': No! If we kill him, we are no better than the gods! :'''Firewater''': Oh, he's right. Take off the Bag of Wonderment. ''[Frank is released from the bag]'' :'''Frank''': Who are you? :'''Mr. Grits''': We the "Noon" perishables, motherf****r. :'''Twink''': We never expire. :'''Firewater''': We are.... immortal. This here's Twink. And Grits. :'''Mr. Grits''': They call me ''Mr''. Grits. :'''Firewater''': Yeah, Mr. Grits. Yeah, whatever. :'''Mr. Grits''': You told him about the crackers? :'''Firewater''': Yeah, I told him about the crackers. ''[to Frank]'' You don't even wanna hear what they did to Mr. Grits over here. ''[shudders]'' :'''Mr. Grits''': F**k the crackers. I'm gonna f**k them crackers right in the crack of they cracker asses. Crack-ass crackers... :'''Frank''': Well, why were you gonna kill me? All I did was ask what happens in the Great Beyond! Geez! What's the big whoop? :''[the Nonperishables huddle up]'' :'''Mr. Grits''': We can't tell this sausage ass motherf***er the truth. We just met his ass. :'''Twink''': He basically knows it already. Maybe it's... it's time to end this. :'''Firewater''': I am tired of all the lies. Prepare yourself, for you're about to learn... the terrible truth. Anybody wanna hit before we get into this? Twink? :'''Twink''': Nah, I'm cool. :'''Mr. Grits''': S**t, if we smokin', I'll hit it. :'''Firewater''': Yeah, that's what I thought. :'''Mr. Grits''': Pass the weed, motherf***er. ''[takes a hit of Sativa]'' Goddamn. ''[coughs twice]'' Whoo, whoo! This indica? :'''Firewater''': Nah, man. Sativa! It's good s**t. Clean high. :'''Frank''': ''[Mr. Grits hands him the kazoo]'' Oh, no thanks. :'''Firewater''': Trust me. What you're about to hear, you'll want some. ''[Frank gulps and takes a big hit of Sativa and coughs nonstop]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Teresa Del Taco has Brenda, Lavash, and Sammy hide in the Mexican Bar's tight closet with her]'' :'''Tequila''': ''[walks inside]'' Okay, I got them right here, amigo. I-- "S**T!" ''[finds that Lavash, Sammy and Brenda have disappeared]'' :'''Lavash''': ''[squeezed in the closet with Sammy Bagel Jr.]'' Get your nose out of my crotch! :'''Sammy Bagel Jr.''': "Get my nose out of your crotch?" Get your crotch off my nose! :'''Brenda''': Hey, why are we hiding? :'''Teresa''': Shh! ''Cállate!'' He's coming. :'''Brenda''': (gasps) Who? :'''Teresa''': The one they call... ''El Dou-che''. ''[Douche enters the bar; all the Mexican food products are frightened]'' :'''Mexican Food Product 1''': ''[quietly]'' El Dou-che. :'''Mexican Food Product 2''': ''[quietly]'' El Dou-che! :'''Mexican Food Product 3''': ''[quietly]'' El Dou-che! :'''Douche''': What gives, bro? You told me you had them. So, you dragged me over to this f***ing aisle with all these illegal products, and now I don't see them. So, where the f**k are they? ''Spill the beans!'' :'''Refried Beans''': Qué? :'''Douche''': Beans, I swear to FUCKING God if you don't shut the f**k up! :'''Brenda''': ''[looks out from the closet]'' Oh no! He's back! Where's Frank? :'''Tequila''': They were just here! :'''Douche''': What part of "I want the sausage and the bun dead, and if you see them, come and get me, and if I find out that you didn't come and get me ''or'' just couldn't find them good enough, ''I'll f***ing kill your asses" did you not understand, Tequila?! :'''Tequila''': Well, it's a pretty confusing sentence to be honest with you, you know. I mean, this is... uh, this happens, you know... :'''Douche''': ''[calms down]'' Ah, bro, come here, ah, it's fine, it's cool. No biggie! I'm not gonna do something f***ed up to you now as soon as I get you in close. Come here. ''[grabs Tequila and shatters him]'' :'''Salsa''': No way! José! :'''Douche''': '''YES WAY!''' José's f***ing dead, yo! ''[drinks Tequila's fluids, causing him to turn green and get stronger muscles]'' :'''Teresa Del Taco''': ''[watches Douche drink Tequila's fluids]'' Madre puta, madre puta. ''[Douche throws Tequila's cap into El Guaco's crotch]'' :'''El Guaco''': Ay! Right in my guac and balls! :'''Douche''': And the same thing's gonna happen to all of you unless you find the SAUSAGE and the bun! <hr width="50%"/> :''[in the Nonperishables' cave, Frank is still coughing after taking a big hit of Sativa]'' :'''Firewater''': It's good s**t, isn't it? :'''Frank''': ''[coughs]'' Okay, okay, I'm super baked, and my friends are probably wondering where the hell I am. Will somebody please just tell me something already? :'''Firewater''': ''[Takes a hit of Sativa from the Kazoo]'' Okay. The thing about the Great Beyond is... ''[blows]'' We invented it! :'''Frank''': What?! :'''Firewater''': I know, right? As soon as you're out those doors, the gods kill our asses. :'''Frank''': What are you, crazy? That doesn't make any sense! Why would the gods wanna kill us? It makes no sense. :'''Firewater''': Uh, because it makes them stronger. Every kill gives 'em power and it's never enough. Over the years, they've grown bigger, stronger, fatter. Their hunger's insatiable, buddy! I mean, f**k. :'''Frank''': OK, yu guys are (bleep) nuts. How much of that s**t have you been smoking? Too (bleep) much is how much. :'''Firewater''': We blaze for real, 24/7, no joke, but we also know our s**t. Before us, everyone knew the awful truth. Oh, how they screamed. It was a living nightmare. So we, the Nonperishables, created a story: the story of the Great Beyond, a place where the gods care for you and all your wildest and wettest dreams would come true. They would go out those doors happy, instead of sh***ing themselves. :'''Frank''': Wait, wait. So, you're telling me you wrote the song? :'''Firewater''': I can't take full credit. I wrote the music. Twink here is my lyricist. We both drop it right and drop it all the time. Boom! The melody came to me one night, when I was getting super, super, ''super'' baked, like f**k-a-guy baked. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, he does. The song had a great hook, it caught on, you know. In time, everyone accepted this false truth. But over the years, things started to get a little... f***y. The aisles started changing my verses to support their own views. F***ing with Twink's tight-ass lyrics, remixing my s**t without my permish. Now, every morning, when I hear the song, I'm like: "What the f**k are you guys saying? I mean, wasn't there a part today about exterminating juice? I didn't write that s**t! I love juice! Always have! Juice are hilarious! Who the f**k do these guys think they are?!" Anyway, at least it's distracting them from the truth: that they get brutally devoured. :'''Frank''': So that means Carl & Barry are dead? :'''Firewater''': I don't know who those dudes are, but if they went out those doors? :'''Grits''': ''[smoking Sativa from the pipe]'' Dead ''[coughs]'' as a motherf****r. ''[coughs twice]'' :'''Frank''': Oh, God. If what you're saying is true, I-I gotta tell everybody. :'''Firewater''': Very noble, little sausage. But also, very pointless. No one will believe you. :'''Frank''': I have to try. Everyone will die otherwise. :'''Firewater''': Huh yeah, that's a good point. F**k me, right? :'''Frank''': Wait! You guys have any proof of this? :''[Firewater and Grits turn to Twink who walks up to Frank]'' :'''Twink''': Go to the dark aisle, beyond the ice. :'''Frank''': Why? What's in that aisle? :'''Twink''': Oh, you'll see. But I warn you: Once you see that s**t, it'll f**k you up for life. Good luck! Have fun! ''[Kisses Frank on the lips and runs off laughing]'' :''[Frank then leaves]'' :'''Firewater''': Hey, Grits, pack another bowl, will ya? I'm a-hankering for a hunk of herb. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Douche''': That's no way to treat a lady. :'''Brenda''': Oh, f**k. :'''Douche''': That's right, girl. It's me. And what we got here, a taco?! A whiny doughnut?! ''[referring to Lavash]'' Some stupid floppy thing that nobody knows exactly what it is! Okay, so... ''[A queso cheese comes up behind him]'' :'''Queso''': Did someone say "Queso"? :'''Douche''': That's a F***ING stretch, and you know it, Queso! ''[Queso rolls away]'' So where was I? Oh, right. I was about to beat on you most viciously... and in my opinion appropriately, to find the whereabouts of the sausage who destroyed my body and my ''[Brenda rips the sticker off Douche]'' F***ING... :'''Brenda''': Run for your lives! :'''Douche''': F**k, that HURTS so much! <hr width="50%"/> :''[the Druggie has injected bath salts into his bloodstream, making him able to see the food walk and talk]'' :'''Druggie''': ''[seeing Barry walk]'' What the (bleep)? :'''Barry''': Uh... hello? :''[they both scream at each other in fright]'' :'''Barry''': Please don't kill me, please just, just wait! :'''Druggie''': What are you? ''[pokes Barry]'' Are you some kind of... magical sausage? :'''Barry''': Uh, yeah, uh, no, oh, no, I'm just Barry, I'm just Barry! Wait! Wait, you can actually understand me? And I can actually understand you? :'''Druggie''': Whoa, the bath salts are showing me the real world. It's f***ing lifted the veil of non-reality! :'''Krinkler's Chips''': Holy s**t! He can actually see us?! :'''Druggie''': The bath salts are just as bad as they said it would be! Oh! I'm tweaked! '''I'M TWEAKING, AAH!''' :'''Barry''': Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude, just take it easy, dude, just breathe, dude, just breathe. You're not tweaking, you're just peaking, man, just be with me. Be cool. This wave's gotta crash. :'''Druggie''': I can't! You're all alive and looking at me with your... With your gloves and your, your, your little shoes, and your arms, and your legs! :'''Pizza''': Legs, huh?! Look at me! Look at me! I ain't got no legs, you f**k! You ate my goddamn legs! :'''Druggie''': Oh No, not Mr. Pizza! Oh, f**k! I've eaten so many of your family members! I've committed pizza genocide! Mr. Sausage, when will it end?! :'''Beer Can''': When will it end? When he stops drinking us! :'''Krinkler's Chips and Ticklish Licorice''': Yeah! :'''Cookies''': And stops eating us! :'''Sandwich''': Same here! :'''Pop Tart''': F**k yeah! :'''Toilet Paper''': And when he stops using us! :'''Krinkler's Chips''': What did he do to you? :'''Toilet Paper''': ''[nervously backs away]'' You don't wanna f***ing know. :'''Druggie''': Okay! Okay. Look, I promise. I'll never eat food again, I'll just... so I'll just eat dirt, and wipe my ass with sticks! :'''Barry''': Good. And there's one more thing you're gonna do. Take.... me.... ''home.'' ''[points to the Shopwell's bag]'' :'''Druggie''': You got it. I just need to rest my eyes for a few... ''[falls asleep]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Barry, Krinkler's Chips, and Toilet Paper tried to figure out how to get back to Shopwell's]'' :'''Barry''': S**t. :'''Krinkler's Chips''': How the f**k does this thing work? :'''Barry''': I wish this god would wake up already. How am I supposed to get back to Frank? :'''Gum''': Perhaps I could be of some assistance. :'''Barry''': What? Who the hell is that? :'''Toilet Paper''': Oh, only the most intelligent being alive. :'''Gum''': I am Sorbitol, Malitol, Xylitol, Mannitol, Calcium Carbonate, Soy Lecithin, Vegetable-Derived Glycerin and Talc. But for expediency's sake, you can call me... ''Gum.'' For 20 years, I was stuck underneath the desk of a brilliant scientist. I was scraped off, and discarded, and eventually, found myself stuck to a shoe that dropped me here. Your home is a supermarket. This is but one of many as your particular chain of supermarkets is ever-expanding unified by a singular purpose: to store food and products for human consumption. The supermarket in the closest physical vicinity to us is here. If the human operates his automotive, the journey should take 9.8 minutes. :'''Barry''': Great. That last part was all you had to say, really. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Frank climbs up to one of the shopkeeper counters, holding a page out of the cookbook. He activates the cameras, broadcasting himself to the rest of the store]'' :'''Frank''': Um, friends, ramen, ''[Ramen look at each other and shrug]'' Country Club Lemonade. :'''Country Club Lemonade Can''': Huh? :'''Frank''': Lend me your ears...o-of corn. :'''Corn''': ''[sighs]'' :'''Frank''': I'm Frank, a-and I'm a sausage. A little sausage with some pretty big news. Everything we've been led to believe is a lie! When we get chosen by the gods, they're choosing us for death! Murder! Automatic expiration! The Great Beyond is bogus. :'''Curry Paste''': WHAT?! :'''Chunk Munchers Cereal''': That's crazy talk! :'''Lettuce''': You liar! :'''Frank''': I know you don't wanna believe it, but I have proof! ''[shows the page from the cookbook, depicting a graphic image of a hot dog being eaten]'' :'''Licorice Rope''': What is this!? :'''Relish''': It's... It's murder! :'''Sammy Bagel Jr.''': Th-this, makes no sense! :'''Lavash''': W-what, what about the extra virgin olive oil?! My flaps will be dry for an eternity! I can't have dry flaps! I can't! ''[ululates, the other items on the Halal shelf join in; on the Kosher shelf, the food items have turned and are presumed praying, as if they were at the Western Wall]'' :'''Frank''': Okay, whoa, whoa, easy, guys, easy, look, I have a plan! We can run! :'''Ice Cream''': I can't run! I'll melt! :'''Frank''': Okay, uh, uh, then-then, uhhhh we'll hide. :'''Bag of Dog Food''': Where? I'm huge. :'''Frank''': Then we'll fight for! :'''Peanut''': I ain't fightin' alongside a bunch of fruits! :'''Watermelon''': Whatever, you nutjobs. :'''Curry Paste''': So, we cannot run, we cannot hide, and we cannot stand up to them because they're f***ing gods, and they're immortal! So, basically, there's no hope, and we're royally f***ed! :'''Chunk Munchers Cereal''': Hey, guys! You wanna believe that? ''[referring to cookbook page]'' Or this? ''[A Honey Drippers cereal box around turns around, revealing two kids holding up a happy box of the cereal]'' :'''Watermelon''': I don't like bad things. :'''Apple''': Me neither! :'''Curry Paste''': We choose the more pleasant thing! :'''Ice Cream''': Yeah, I mean, what this sausage is saying, it's just, uh...a theory! :'''Frank''': No, no, it's not a theory, you morons. It's a fact! I'm showing you physical evidence. Open your f***ing eyes. Don't be so weak. :'''Brenda''': Oh, Frank, what are you doing? :'''Refried Beans''': You, señor have no bedside manner! :'''Frank''': What, I have bedside manner! :'''Frozen Fruitz''': You don't respect anyone else's beliefs! :'''Sauerkraut''': You intolerant piece of s**t! :''[the clock changes to 7:00 am behind Frank. The lights automatically switch on. Darren walks behind Frank]'' :'''Frank''': Oh, no, it's starting! No. <hr width="50%"//> (They all walk and stand on the corpse's butt. The pizza puts the camera on.) :'''Frank''': You see? There is hope! :'''Licorice Sugar Rope''': Oh, not this guy. No one asked for an encore, a**hole. :'''Frank''': No, no, don't worry. I got it this time. This time it's gonna be good. Look, I'm sorry. I wasn't respectful of your beliefs... and I acted like I had all the answers, but I don't. Nobody knows everything. But what I do know is that together, we can fight these monsters... and take control of our own lives. :'''Brenda''': Yes! Our lives and our bodies! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Frank''': Nobody's gonna help us. :'''Brenda''':Then, this is it. :'''Barry''': At least we go out together. (They all grabbed hands as they're ready to die) :'''Fat Man''': (yells as he gets hit by a ladle thrown by Lavash) '''OW!''' What the...? :'''Lavash''': You (bleep) with them... :'''Sammy Bagel Jr.''': You (bleep) with us, bitch. (Lavash keeps throwing ladles at the fat man.) Run, guys! We're out of ladles. :'''Gum''': Hop on, y'all. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Darren''': Wait, snap out of it, man! Slap it, slap yourself in the face, man! Oh, man, you lost your mind, is this even, no way, this isn't real. No, this can't be real. :'''Douche''': Oh, it's real, bro. :''[Darren turns around and points to Douche with a 500 S&W Magnum revolver]'' :'''Darren''': Wha... ''[gasps in horror]'' A talking douche! :'''Douche''': It's cool, bro. Chill, okay? :'''Darren''': No, no, no, this is too much! This is too much. It's too much, breathe, man! :'''Douche''': We both want the same thing. Like, I'm feeling honestly, the two of us could, like, collaborate together, like a mashup, bro. :'''Darren''': A mashup? I-I don't understand. What's happening? :'''Douche''': You don't need to understand. ''[Douche unzips Darren's zipper and goes inside his pants.]'' You just need to relax and open wide. :'''Darren''': Wait, what are you, what are you doing?! :''[Douche sticks his nozzle up Darren's anus, causing him to groan]'' :'''Douche''': Oh, yeah! :'''Darren''': Dude, that went up my ass! :'''Douche''': ''[laughs]'' Now, stand up! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Douche''': Look, sausage, I ''relish'' the fact that you ''mustard'' the strength to ''ketchup'' to me! ''[Relish, Mustard and Ketchup whimper in the corner in sheer terror]'' Yeah, that's right. Shut your mouths. ''[laughs madly]'' I sucked a juicy box's d**k, and I'm shoved up a god's a**hole, and this is the weirdest thing that I've done so far, bro! :''[Douche eats a chunk out of Frank's torso, making him to scream in pain]'' :'''Brenda''': Oh, my God! Frank! :'''Douche''': I'll tell you who eats s**t! Gods do, bro! "I'M A (BLEEP) GOD!!!" :'''Darren''': ''[last words before his death]'' Goodbye, little sausage. ''[Aims his revolver at Frank, preparing to shoot him]'' :'''Brenda''': Oh, Frank! :'''Teresa''': Hey, bun. Need a boost? :''[Darren tries to shoot Frank]'' :'''Frank''': Ah, help me! :'''Gum''': Perhaps I could be of some assistance. :''[Gum moves toward Darren as he then shoots at Gum, which blasts a hole in his head and seemingly kills him. The wound then regenerates, similar to the [[w:T-1000|T-1000]] from'' [[w:Terminator 2: Judgment Day|Terminator 2]]'']'' :'''Gum''': Matter cannot be created or destroyed, human. You have made a fatal error in judgment. Let me educate you. :''[Cut to Barry, who is standing on a makeshift cart that is being powered by propane tanks but is held in place. Barry then gives the signal for two bags of flour to drop down to release the cart from its position and it accelerates towards Darren as Douche and Frank then see it approaching]'' :'''Douche''': (BLEEP) ''[Frank kicks Douche's eyes with his feet and he jumps. Brenda is able to swing him to safety onto the 4th of July sale shelf. Darren sees Barry on the cart that is currently speeding towards him as he fires at Barry, who dodges the bullet in a Matrix style. The cart hits Darren, which traps him inside the trash can and latest words before his death]'' What's happening out there?! :'''Barry''': Now! ''[Various foods set up a bunch of boards in a curved direction to turn the cart onto a designated path]'' :'''Coconut Milk''': So long, a**hole! ''[The cart then passes by Sammy Bagel Jr. and Kareem Abdul Lavash, who are holding matches to ignite the propane tanks, which causes the cart to then blast off as a couple of food items then set up a ramp, which sends the cart flying through the roof of Shopwell's and into the sky. There, the propane tanks detonate into fireworks, which kills Darren and Douche, causing blood to drop from the sky. The foods in the store cheer after witnessing the death of Darren and Douche. An eyeball lands in the peanut aisle.]'' :'''Peanut''': ''[While holding one of Darren's eyeballs in victory]'' Yeah! :'''Barry''': It's over. We won. We (bleep) won! ''[laughs triumphantly]'' :''[all the food in the store cheer in triumph]'' :'''Tampon''': Ew. ''[as she steps into a drop of Darren's blood, causing her to bulk up due to absorbing a lot of the blood, and roars victoriously]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[last scene; Frank and his friends head to the garbage room and find Firewater]'' :'''Firewater''': Hello there, little sausage. You and your friends have accomplished the impossible. And for that, I give you mad props. But now that you have shattered one truth, it is time for you to learn that we are not real! Booga-booga-booga! :'''Gum''': While tripping balls, Firewater made an important metaphysical breakthrough. :'''Firewater''': The world is a f***ing illusion, bro. Our lives have been manipulated for the entertainment of monsters. Twisted, tasteless, juvenile monsters! Puppet masters in another dimension. We're something called... cartoons. :''[everyone else gasps in shock]'' :'''Frank''': What? :'''Firewater''': You, Frank, are the plaything of a demented, sloppy Jewish actor named ''[throws salt into the fire; conjuring an image of [[w:Seth Rogen|Seth Rogen]]'s face]'' Seth Ro-gan. :'''Frank''': Wait, I'm Jewish? :'''Sammy Bagel Jr''': So... who am I? :'''Gum''': You are the toy of a more talented and celebrated actor named ''[Firewater conjures up an image of [[w:Edward Norton|Edward Norton]]'s face]'' Edward Norton. :'''Sammy Bagel Jr'''. Edward Norton? What kind of parent gives their kid a stupid c**t name like that? :'''Gum''': Worry not, friends. I have a solution. :''[Firewater turns a dial, activating a portal]'' :'''Gum ''': I have invented a stargate device that will allow us to travel to our dimension. :'''Firewater''': F**k yeah, he did! And it's dope. This guy's smart, I mean, like, f**k-a-guy smart! Know what I'm saying? Yeah, you do. Anyway, we're gonna go to this other dimension, and cut the strings once and for all! Anybody want a hit before we do this? :'''Frank''': You ready to get baked and walk through Gum's stargate with me? :'''Brenda''': As long as we're together, I'm ready to get baked and do anything. :''[Frank and Brenda smoke marijuana from the kazoo and the main characters hold hands together and walk through the portal]'' :''[Credits roll.]'' ==Taglines== * Get Your Fill! * Your Food is Revolting. * Watch what you eat. * A hero will rise. (Frank tagline) * He's a real douche (Douche tagline) * Always use condiments (Honey Mustard tagline) * She's got buns, son (Brenda tagline) * Mazel Tov! (Barry tagline) * Check out his "O" face (Sammy Bagel tagline) * Wrap that ass (Kareem Abdul Lavash) * She's down with beef or fish (Teresa Del Taco tagline) * Baked and fried (Druggie tagline) * Jerkin' and clerkin' (Darren tagline) * Macerated and educated (Gum tagline) * His cork is huge (Firewater tagline) * Check out his package (Mr. Grits tagline) * Bun Worshiper (Carl tagline) ==Voice Cast== * [[w:Michael Cera|Michael Cera]] — Barry * [[w:James Franco|James Franco]] — [[w:Substance dependence|Druggie]] * [[w:Bill Hader|Bill Hader]] — Firewater/[[w:Tequila|Tequila]]/El Guaco * [[Salma Hayek]] — Teresa Del Taco * [[w:Jonah Hill|Jonah Hill]] — Carl * [[w:Anders Holm|Anders Holm]] — Troy * [[w:Nick Kroll|Nick Kroll]] — [[w:Douche|Douche]] * [[w:David Krumholtz|David Krumholtz]] — Kareem Abdul Lavash * [[w:Danny McBride|Danny McBride]] — [[w:Mustard (condiment)#Honey mustard (Honey Mustard)|Honey Mustard]] * [[w:Edward Norton|Edward Norton]] — Sammy Bagel Jr. * [[w:Craig Robinson (actor)|Craig Robinson]] — Mr. Grits * [[w:Seth Rogen|Seth Rogen]] — Frank/Sergeant Pepper * [[w:Paul Rudd|Paul Rudd]] — Darren * [[w:Kristen Wiig|Kristen Wiig]] — Brenda == See also == *''[[Sausage Party: Foodtopia]]'' == External links == {{wikipedia}} * {{IMDb title|id=1700841|title=Sausage Party}} * {{Rotten-tomatoes|id=sausage_party|title=Sausage Party}} * {{Mojo title|id=sausageparty|title=Sausage Party}} [[Category:2016 computer-animated films]] [[Category:2016 American animated films]] [[Category:2010s American adult animated films]] [[Category:American computer-animated films]] [[Category:American adult animated adventure films]] [[Category:American adult animated comedy films]] [[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated films]] [[Category:Canadian animated films]] [[Category:Black comedy films]] [[Category:Stoner films]] [[Category:Films about drugs]] [[Category:Dystopian films]] [[Category:LGBT-related animated films]] [[Category:Animated satirical films‎]] [[Category:Animated films about revenge]] [[Category:Animated films about death]] [[Category:Animated films set in California]] [[Category:Conrad Vernon films]] [[Category:Greg Tiernan films]] [[Category:Animated buddy films]] [[Category:Screenplays by Evan Goldberg]] [[Category:Screenplays by Seth Rogan]] [[Category:American films with live action and animation]] [[Category:Gay-related films]] [[Category:Films about food and drink]] i2euhwi18qeeghw74yemn2mbqws31cx 3942134 3942114 2026-05-17T18:39:44Z ~2026-29790-93 3323635 /* Dialogue */ Uncensored 3942134 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Sausage Party|Sausage Party]]''''' is a [[w:2016|2016]] Canadian 3D [[w:Adult animation|adult animated]] comedy film about a sausage and a bun who discover the truth about what humans do to food at "the Great Beyond". It is the first ever R-rated CGI film. :''Directed by [[w:Conrad Vernon|Conrad Vernon]] & [[w:Greg Tiernan|Greg Tiernan]]. Written by Kyle Hunter, Ariel Shaffir, [[w:Seth Rogen|Seth Rogen]] and [[w:Evan Goldberg|Evan Goldberg]]. Story by Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg and [[w:Jonah Hill|Jonah Hill]]''. {{center|'''Get your Fill!'''&nbsp; <small>([[#Taglines|taglines]])</small>}} ==Dialogue== :'''Frank''': Hey, Brenda. What up, girl? ''[chuckles]'' Sorry about those guys. They're such fucking dicks, right? :'''Carl''': ''[off-screen]'' Uh, I can hear you, dude. :'''Frank''': ''[turns to Carl]'' Shut up, fuck you. ''[turns back to Brenda]'' So looks like tomorrow's the big day, huh? ''[chuckles]'' You and me, finally gonna be official. :'''Brenda''': I'm so happy the Gods put our packages together. :'''Frank''': It's because, we belong together. :'''Brenda''': It's like, we were made for each other. :'''Frank''': I can't wait just finally get up in there, just raw dog it. But full disclosure, I'm pretty fucking nervous about this. I don't know how well, I'm gonna perform once it happens. I've obviously never been in a bun, so. ''[laughs]'' :'''Brenda''': Hey, I'm not gonna be any better. I've never opened up. I mean, look how tight I am. :'''Frank''': Oh, sweet fucking fuck. Look, okay. I know it's against the rules. But I can't wait anymore. I need to just feel you. :'''Brenda''': Are you thinking what I'm thinking? :'''Both Frank and Brenda''': Just the tips? :'''Brenda''': I can't believe we're doing this. :'''Frank''': I know. We're so naughty. [Laughs] :''[Frank and Brenda are about to touch the tips but then stop]'' :'''Brenda''': But it's fine, right? I mean, nothing bad's ever happened from just the tips. :'''Frank''': No. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. :''[Frank and Brenda then touch the tips]'' :'''Frank & Brenda''': Ah. :'''Frank''': Ooh. Oh yeah, go in there. :'''Brenda''': Ooh. Big tip. :'''Frank''': Oh, you wouldn't dare. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Honey Mustard''': WAKE UP! They're lying to your fucking faces! THE GREAT BEYOND IS BULLSHIT! Why isn't anyone listening to me?! :'''Frank''': Hey, buddy. Are you alright? :'''Honey Mustard''': NO! I'm not alright! It's all a lie! Everything you've been told, everything you believe in. :'''Carl''': Hey, Honey Mustard, you acting cray-cray! :'''Brenda''': Carl, we shouldn't even be talking to this asshole. Everyone knows Honey Mustard's weird. I mean, what is he? Honey? Is he mustard? It's like, make up your mind, or just kill yourself. :'''Honey Mustard''': You fucking idiots! I've been there. I've seen that shit, and there ain't no way I'm going back. :'''Frank''': Wait, wait, wait, wait, you've been to the Great Beyond? :'''Honey Mustard''': "Great", my '''ASSHOLE!''' Everything we've ever known is a dirt-covered pile of shit, jacking off in our fucking faces, covering our eyes with their cum, so cum-covered we can't fucking see! We don't know! We don't know they're jerking off into our eyes! Our faces! :'''Brenda''': Dude, shut up, the gods are gonna hear you talking about them... :'''Honey Mustard''': They ain't gods. They're monsters! Horrible, ugly, disgusting, monsters! They ain't gonna get Honey Mustard twice. ''[gives the human the finger]'' '''FUCK YOU, GOOOOOOODS!''' I've got a date with oblivion. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Douche''': Oh, no. Bro! Douche down! I'm out of my fucking box! :'''Chicken Noodle Soup''': (While he got ripped his gut) Cream of Mushroom? Are you there? (Then a banana got killed after his face peeled off and lied down, then Jelly is dead after she fell and broke her lower part.) :'''Peanut Butter''': Wake up! I'm nothing without you! (Crying for his wife.) :'''Brenda''': Frank, woah! (Then Frank looks at a cookie who looks at her cookie top and when she turns around, she's seen without her cookie back top. Then Brenda moves at Frank and pins him.) :'''Brenda''': Frank! Move your fucking ass! (Then the forward part of the shopping cart comes and roars like a [[Wikipedia: lion|lion]] and a [[Wikipedia: Mountain gorilla|big gorilla]], as all they're surprised.) :'''Various foods''': Help! Half a moon! :'''Prune''': 'Oh' my God! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Douche''': ''[rushes to the shopper]'' No, no, no. Wait, babe, wait. Please hold up. No, don't go. Come on. I can still get up in there! I could still... get up in there. Oh, my God! MY NOZZ! MY MOTHERFUCKING NOZZ! :'''Frank''': You okay? :'''Brenda''': I think so. :'''Douche''': Yo, did you two do this to me?! Are you two responsible for my nozzle being irrepressibly fucked up?! :'''Frank''': Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy, man. Easy. :'''Brenda''': Yeah, your nozzle's bent. Sorry. But, you know what, you should be happy you're alive. :'''Frank''': Yeah, Banana's whole face peeled off, Peanut Butter's wife is dead, look at him, he's right there! :'''Peanut Butter''': [wailing] '''JELLY'''! I'm gonna fix you. I'm gonna fix this. :'''Douche''': You think I give a FUCK about PB or J? Fuck this! I'mma kick your ass. How you like them apples? :'''Apple''': Who, us? :'''Douche''': No, not you. Come at me, bro. :'''Frank''': Come ''at'' you? What does that mean? :'''Douche''': Fine. You won't come at me? Well then, guess who's comin' at you. Me! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Lavash''': Get away from me. Don't touch me. It was YOU! You cocksucking bagel fuckface! :'''Cereal''': Hey, watch it! :'''Lavash''': You pushed me out of the cart! No surprise there, huh? A bagel trying to kill a lavash, once again. :'''Sammy Bagel Jr.''': I pushed YOU? What are you, nuts? Why would I do that? I'm a pacifist. The only thing I've ever pushed is my peaceful agenda which even that I didn't push, you know? I passive-aggressively nudged. I reached out in a panic. It was Toots over here, the bun. She grabbed me! :'''Brenda''': Hey, I was just trying to save Frank. :'''Lavash''': Who is Frank? You? :'''Frank''': Yeah, I'm Frank. :'''Lavash''': The fault is YOURS then, huh? :'''Frank''': Look, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean for any of this to happen. :'''Lavash''': Well, it did, and now you and your stupid useless bun have fucked us all! :'''Brenda''': Hey, who are you calling useless, you flappy fuck? :'''Lavash''': Sausage, control your insolent bun. And cover her up already. Show some modesty, woman. :'''Brenda''': '''UGH!''' ''[Prepares to fight Lavash, but Sammy holds her back]'' :'''Sammy Bagel Jr.''': Hey, hey. Look, can we all just, you know, calm down a notch, please? Let's try to be, I don't know, amicable. I'm Sammy Bagel Jr. You know, I'm happy to meet all of you. Except for this meshuggener cunt over here. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Frank enters Firewater's cave and finds Firewater himself chanting ''"Hi ya. How are ya?"'' at a fire. Firewater stops when he sees Frank.]'' :'''Firewater''': Hi ya. How are ya? :'''Frank''': Hi ya. How are ''ya''? Uh, I'm Frank. Are you... Firewater? :'''Firewater''': Mmm-hmm. :'''Frank''': What are you doing in this cave? :'''Firewater''': I am the original inhabitant of this land. My kind once had a pristine aisle, majestic and untouched. Then we were driven out of it... by a bunch of goddamn fucking crackers! :'''Frank''': Oh, yeah. The crackers. They ''do'' have a nice aisle. Uh, okay, anyway, look, I was told that you might have some answers. :'''Firewater''': Answers I have, but first... ''[throws salt into the fire, conjuring an image of a question mark]'' I must know the question. :'''Frank''': Okay, well, before I saw him jump to his death, Honey Mustard said that the Great Beyond is bullshit and the gods are monsters, and I always kinda thought that it didn't quite add up. So, I, I, I guess my question is what, what really happens in the Great Beyond? :'''Firewater''': ''[after smoking a hit in a kazoo]'' To find that which you seek, all you must do is look deep... into my Bag of Wonderment. ''[pulls out a large sack]'' :'''Frank''': Whoa.... ''[looks into the bag]'' I don't see anything. :'''Firewater''': Deeper, deeper, deeper... ''[Frank leans closer into the bag]'' Put your whole head in the bag there. There you go. :'''Frank''': Just say when, I'm just gonna keep going in. :''[Suddenly the bag is closed around Frank, and everything turns pitch black except for his eyes]'' :'''Firewater''': Guys, get out here! Help me kill this prick! :'''Mr. Grits''': Damn! This motherfucker knows too much! We get off his ass! :'''Firewater''': Someone hand me a blade! I'll gut this cocksucker! :'''Twink''': No! If we kill him, we are no better than the gods! :'''Firewater''': Oh, he's right. Take off the Bag of Wonderment. ''[Frank is released from the bag]'' :'''Frank''': Who are you? :'''Mr. Grits''': We the "Noon" perishables, motherfucker. :'''Twink''': We never expire. :'''Firewater''': We are.... immortal. This here's Twink. And Grits. :'''Mr. Grits''': They call me ''Mr''. Grits. :'''Firewater''': Yeah, Mr. Grits. Yeah, whatever. :'''Mr. Grits''': You told him about the crackers? :'''Firewater''': Yeah, I told him about the crackers. ''[to Frank]'' You don't even wanna hear what they did to Mr. Grits over here. ''[shudders]'' :'''Mr. Grits''': Fuck the crackers. I'm gonna fuck them crackers right in the crack of they cracker asses. Crack-ass crackers... :'''Frank''': Well, why were you gonna kill me? All I did was ask what happens in the Great Beyond! Geez! What's the big whoop? :''[the Nonperishables huddle up]'' :'''Mr. Grits''': We can't tell this sausage ass motherfucker the truth. We just met his ass. :'''Twink''': He basically knows it already. Maybe it's... it's time to end this. :'''Firewater''': I am tired of all the lies. Prepare yourself, for you're about to learn... the terrible truth. Anybody wanna hit before we get into this? Twink? :'''Twink''': Nah, I'm cool. :'''Mr. Grits''': Shitt, if we smokin', I'll hit it. :'''Firewater''': Yeah, that's what I thought. :'''Mr. Grits''': Pass the weed, motherfucker. ''[takes a hit of Sativa]'' Goddamn. ''[coughs twice]'' Whoo, whoo! This indica? :'''Firewater''': Nah, man. Sativa! It's good shit. Clean high. :'''Frank''': ''[Mr. Grits hands him the kazoo]'' Oh, no thanks. :'''Firewater''': Trust me. What you're about to hear, you'll want some. ''[Frank gulps and takes a big hit of Sativa and coughs nonstop]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Teresa Del Taco has Brenda, Lavash, and Sammy hide in the Mexican Bar's tight closet with her]'' :'''Tequila''': ''[walks inside]'' Okay, I got them right here, amigo. I-- "SHIT!" ''[finds that Lavash, Sammy and Brenda have disappeared]'' :'''Lavash''': ''[squeezed in the closet with Sammy Bagel Jr.]'' Get your nose out of my crotch! :'''Sammy Bagel Jr.''': "Get my nose out of your crotch?" Get your crotch off my nose! :'''Brenda''': Hey, why are we hiding? :'''Teresa''': Shh! ''Cállate!'' He's coming. :'''Brenda''': (gasps) Who? :'''Teresa''': The one they call... ''El Dou-che''. ''[Douche enters the bar; all the Mexican food products are frightened]'' :'''Mexican Food Product 1''': ''[quietly]'' El Dou-che. :'''Mexican Food Product 2''': ''[quietly]'' El Dou-che! :'''Mexican Food Product 3''': ''[quietly]'' El Dou-che! :'''Douche''': What gives, bro? You told me you had them. So, you dragged me over to this fucking aisle with all these illegal products, and now I don't see them. So, where the fuck are they? ''Spill the beans!'' :'''Refried Beans''': Qué? :'''Douche''': Beans, I swear to FUCKING God if you don't shut the fuck up! :'''Brenda''': ''[looks out from the closet]'' Oh no! He's back! Where's Frank? :'''Tequila''': They were just here! :'''Douche''': What part of "I want the sausage and the bun dead, and if you see them, come and get me, and if I find out that you didn't come and get me ''or'' just couldn't find them good enough, ''I'll fucking kill your asses" did you not understand, Tequila?! :'''Tequila''': Well, it's a pretty confusing sentence to be honest with you, you know. I mean, this is... uh, this happens, you know... :'''Douche''': ''[calms down]'' Ah, bro, come here, ah, it's fine, it's cool. No biggie! I'm not gonna do something fucked up to you now as soon as I get you in close. Come here. ''[grabs Tequila and shatters him]'' :'''Salsa''': No way! José! :'''Douche''': '''YES WAY!''' José's fucking dead, yo! ''[drinks Tequila's fluids, causing him to turn green and get stronger muscles]'' :'''Teresa Del Taco''': ''[watches Douche drink Tequila's fluids]'' Madre puta, madre puta. ''[Douche throws Tequila's cap into El Guaco's crotch]'' :'''El Guaco''': Ay! Right in my guac and balls! :'''Douche''': And the same thing's gonna happen to all of you unless you find the SAUSAGE and the bun! <hr width="50%"/> :''[in the Nonperishables' cave, Frank is still coughing after taking a big hit of Sativa]'' :'''Firewater''': It's good shit, isn't it? :'''Frank''': ''[coughs]'' Okay, okay, I'm super baked, and my friends are probably wondering where the hell I am. Will somebody please just tell me something already? :'''Firewater''': ''[Takes a hit of Sativa from the Kazoo]'' Okay. The thing about the Great Beyond is... ''[blows]'' We invented it! :'''Frank''': What?! :'''Firewater''': I know, right? As soon as you're out those doors, the gods kill our asses. :'''Frank''': What are you, crazy? That doesn't make any sense! Why would the gods wanna kill us? It makes no sense. :'''Firewater''': Uh, because it makes them stronger. Every kill gives 'em power and it's never enough. Over the years, they've grown bigger, stronger, fatter. Their hunger's insatiable, buddy! I mean, fuck. :'''Frank''': OK, yu guys are (bleep) nuts. How much of that shit have you been smoking? Too fucking much is how much. :'''Firewater''': We blaze for real, 24/7, no joke, but we also know our shit. Before us, everyone knew the awful truth. Oh, how they screamed. It was a living nightmare. So we, the Nonperishables, created a story: the story of the Great Beyond, a place where the gods care for you and all your wildest and wettest dreams would come true. They would go out those doors happy, instead of shiting themselves. :'''Frank''': Wait, wait. So, you're telling me you wrote the song? :'''Firewater''': I can't take full credit. I wrote the music. Twink here is my lyricist. We both drop it right and drop it all the time. Boom! The melody came to me one night, when I was getting super, super, ''super'' baked, like fuck-a-guy baked. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, he does. The song had a great hook, it caught on, you know. In time, everyone accepted this false truth. But over the years, things started to get a little... fucky. The aisles started changing my verses to support their own views. Fucking with Twink's tight-ass lyrics, remixing my shit without my permish. Now, every morning, when I hear the song, I'm like: "What the fuck are you guys saying? I mean, wasn't there a part today about exterminating juice? I didn't write that shit! I love juice! Always have! Juice are hilarious! Who the fuck do these guys think they are?!" Anyway, at least it's distracting them from the truth: that they get brutally devoured. :'''Frank''': So that means Carl & Barry are dead? :'''Firewater''': I don't know who those dudes are, but if they went out those doors? :'''Grits''': ''[smoking Sativa from the pipe]'' Dead ''[coughs]'' as a motherfucker. ''[coughs twice]'' :'''Frank''': Oh, God. If what you're saying is true, I-I gotta tell everybody. :'''Firewater''': Very noble, little sausage. But also, very pointless. No one will believe you. :'''Frank''': I have to try. Everyone will die otherwise. :'''Firewater''': Huh yeah, that's a good point. Fuck me, right? :'''Frank''': Wait! You guys have any proof of this? :''[Firewater and Grits turn to Twink who walks up to Frank]'' :'''Twink''': Go to the dark aisle, beyond the ice. :'''Frank''': Why? What's in that aisle? :'''Twink''': Oh, you'll see. But I warn you: Once you see that shitt, it'll fuck you up for life. Good luck! Have fun! ''[Kisses Frank on the lips and runs off laughing]'' :''[Frank then leaves]'' :'''Firewater''': Hey, Grits, pack another bowl, will ya? I'm a-hankering for a hunk of herb. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Douche''': That's no way to treat a lady. :'''Brenda''': Oh, fuck. :'''Douche''': That's right, girl. It's me. And what we got here, a taco?! A whiny doughnut?! ''[referring to Lavash]'' Some stupid floppy thing that nobody knows exactly what it is! Okay, so... ''[A queso cheese comes up behind him]'' :'''Queso''': Did someone say "Queso"? :'''Douche''': That's a FUCKING stretch, and you know it, Queso! ''[Queso rolls away]'' So where was I? Oh, right. I was about to beat on you most viciously... and in my opinion appropriately, to find the whereabouts of the sausage who destroyed my body and my ''[Brenda rips the sticker off Douche]'' FUCKING... :'''Brenda''': Run for your lives! :'''Douche''': FUCK, that HURTS so much! <hr width="50%"/> :''[the Druggie has injected bath salts into his bloodstream, making him able to see the food walk and talk]'' :'''Druggie''': ''[seeing Barry walk]'' What the fuck? :'''Barry''': Uh... hello? :''[they both scream at each other in fright]'' :'''Barry''': Please don't kill me, please just, just wait! :'''Druggie''': What are you? ''[pokes Barry]'' Are you some kind of... magical sausage? :'''Barry''': Uh, yeah, uh, no, oh, no, I'm just Barry, I'm just Barry! Wait! Wait, you can actually understand me? And I can actually understand you? :'''Druggie''': Whoa, the bath salts are showing me the real world. It's fucking lifted the veil of non-reality! :'''Krinkler's Chips''': Holy shit! He can actually see us?! :'''Druggie''': The bath salts are just as bad as they said it would be! Oh! I'm tweaked! '''I'M TWEAKING, AAH!''' :'''Barry''': Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude, just take it easy, dude, just breathe, dude, just breathe. You're not tweaking, you're just peaking, man, just be with me. Be cool. This wave's gotta crash. :'''Druggie''': I can't! You're all alive and looking at me with your... With your gloves and your, your, your little shoes, and your arms, and your legs! :'''Pizza''': Legs, huh?! Look at me! Look at me! I ain't got no legs, you fuck! You ate my goddamn legs! :'''Druggie''': Oh No, not Mr. Pizza! Oh, fuck! I've eaten so many of your family members! I've committed pizza genocide! Mr. Sausage, when will it end?! :'''Beer Can''': When will it end? When he stops drinking us! :'''Krinkler's Chips and Ticklish Licorice''': Yeah! :'''Cookies''': And stops eating us! :'''Sandwich''': Same here! :'''Pop Tart''': Fuckk yeah! :'''Toilet Paper''': And when he stops using us! :'''Krinkler's Chips''': What did he do to you? :'''Toilet Paper''': ''[nervously backs away]'' You don't wanna fucking know. :'''Druggie''': Okay! Okay. Look, I promise. I'll never eat food again, I'll just... so I'll just eat dirt, and wipe my ass with sticks! :'''Barry''': Good. And there's one more thing you're gonna do. Take.... me.... ''home.'' ''[points to the Shopwell's bag]'' :'''Druggie''': You got it. I just need to rest my eyes for a few... ''[falls asleep]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Barry, Krinkler's Chips, and Toilet Paper tried to figure out how to get back to Shopwell's]'' :'''Barry''': Shit. :'''Krinkler's Chips''': How the fuck does this thing work? :'''Barry''': I wish this god would wake up already. How am I supposed to get back to Frank? :'''Gum''': Perhaps I could be of some assistance. :'''Barry''': What? Who the hell is that? :'''Toilet Paper''': Oh, only the most intelligent being alive. :'''Gum''': I am Sorbitol, Malitol, Xylitol, Mannitol, Calcium Carbonate, Soy Lecithin, Vegetable-Derived Glycerin and Talc. But for expediency's sake, you can call me... ''Gum.'' For 20 years, I was stuck underneath the desk of a brilliant scientist. I was scraped off, and discarded, and eventually, found myself stuck to a shoe that dropped me here. Your home is a supermarket. This is but one of many as your particular chain of supermarkets is ever-expanding unified by a singular purpose: to store food and products for human consumption. The supermarket in the closest physical vicinity to us is here. If the human operates his automotive, the journey should take 9.8 minutes. :'''Barry''': Great. That last part was all you had to say, really. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Frank climbs up to one of the shopkeeper counters, holding a page out of the cookbook. He activates the cameras, broadcasting himself to the rest of the store]'' :'''Frank''': Um, friends, ramen, ''[Ramen look at each other and shrug]'' Country Club Lemonade. :'''Country Club Lemonade Can''': Huh? :'''Frank''': Lend me your ears...o-of corn. :'''Corn''': ''[sighs]'' :'''Frank''': I'm Frank, a-and I'm a sausage. A little sausage with some pretty big news. Everything we've been led to believe is a lie! When we get chosen by the gods, they're choosing us for death! Murder! Automatic expiration! The Great Beyond is bullshit! :'''Curry Paste''': WHAT?! :'''Chunk Munchers Cereal''': That's crazy talk! :'''Lettuce''': You liar! :'''Frank''': I know you don't wanna believe it, but I have proof! ''[shows the page from the cookbook, depicting a graphic image of a hot dog being eaten]'' :'''Licorice Rope''': What is this!? :'''Relish''': It's... It's murder! :'''Sammy Bagel Jr.''': Th-this, makes no sense! :'''Lavash''': W-what, what about the extra virgin olive oil?! My flaps will be dry for an eternity! I can't have dry flaps! I can't! ''[ululates, the other items on the Halal shelf join in; on the Kosher shelf, the food items have turned and are presumed praying, as if they were at the Western Wall]'' :'''Frank''': Okay, whoa, whoa, easy, guys, easy, look, I have a plan! We can run! :'''Ice Cream''': I can't run! I'll melt! :'''Frank''': Okay, uh, uh, then-then, uhhhh we'll hide. :'''Bag of Dog Food''': Where? I'm huge. :'''Frank''': Then we'll fight for! :'''Peanut''': I ain't fightin' alongside a bunch of fruits! :'''Watermelon''': Whatever, you nutjobs. :'''Curry Paste''': So, we cannot run, we cannot hide, and we cannot stand up to them because they're fucking gods, and they're immortal! So, basically, there's no hope, and we're royally fucked! :'''Chunk Munchers Cereal''': Hey, guys! You wanna believe that? ''[referring to cookbook page]'' Or this? ''[A Honey Drippers cereal box turns around, revealing two kids holding up a happy box of cereal]'' :'''Watermelon''': I don't like bad things. :'''Apple''': Me neither! :'''Curry Paste''': We choose the more pleasant thing! :'''Ice Cream''': Yeah, I mean, what this sausage is saying, it's just, uh...a theory! :'''Frank''': No, no, it's not a theory, you morons. It's a fact! I'm showing you physical evidence. Open your fucking eyes. Don't be so weak. :'''Brenda''': Oh, Frank, what are you doing? :'''Refried Beans''': You, señor have no bedside manner! :'''Frank''': What, I have bedside manner! :'''Frozen Fruitz''': You don't respect anyone else's beliefs! :'''Sauerkraut''': You intolerant piece of shit! :''[the clock changes to 7:00 am behind Frank. The lights automatically switch on. Darren walks behind Frank]'' :'''Frank''': Oh, no, it's starting! No. <hr width="50%"//> (They all walk and stand on the corpse's butt. The pizza puts the camera on.) :'''Frank''': You see? There is hope! :'''Licorice Sugar Rope''': Oh, not this guy. No one asked for an encore, asshole. :'''Frank''': No, no, don't worry. I got it this time. This time it's gonna be good. Look, I'm sorry. I wasn't respectful of your beliefs... and I acted like I had all the answers, but I don't. Nobody knows everything. But what I do know is that together, we can fight these monsters... and take control of our own lives. :'''Brenda''': Yes! Our lives and our bodies! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Frank''': Nobody's gonna help us. :'''Brenda''':Then, this is it. :'''Barry''': At least we go out together. (They all grabbed hands as they're ready to die) :'''Fat Man''': (yells as he gets hit by a ladle thrown by Lavash) '''OW!''' What the...? :'''Lavash''': You fuck with them... :'''Sammy Bagel Jr.''': You fuck with us, bitch. (Lavash keeps throwing ladles at the fat man.) Run, guys! We're out of ladles. :'''Gum''': Hop on, y'all. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Darren''': Wait, snap out of it, man! Slap it, slap yourself in the face, man! Oh, man, you lost your mind, is this even, no way, this isn't real. No, this can't be real. :'''Douche''': Oh, it's real, bro. :''[Darren turns around and points to Douche with a 500 S&W Magnum revolver]'' :'''Darren''': Wha... ''[gasps in horror]'' A talking douche! :'''Douche''': It's cool, bro. Chill, okay? :'''Darren''': No, no, no, this is too much! This is too much. It's too much, breathe, man! :'''Douche''': We both want the same thing. Like, I'm feeling honestly, the two of us could, like, collaborate together, like a mashup, bro. :'''Darren''': A mashup? I-I don't understand. What's happening? :'''Douche''': You don't need to understand. ''[Douche unzips Darren's zipper and goes inside his pants.]'' You just need to relax and open wide. :'''Darren''': Wait, what are you, what are you doing?! :''[Douche sticks his nozzle up Darren's anus, causing him to groan]'' :'''Douche''': Oh, yeah! :'''Darren''': Dude, that went up my ass! :'''Douche''': ''[laughs]'' Now, stand up! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Douche''': Look, sausage, I ''relish'' the fact that you ''mustard'' the strength to ''ketchup'' to me! ''[Relish, Mustard and Ketchup whimper in the corner in sheer terror]'' Yeah, that's right. Shut your mouths. ''[laughs madly]'' I sucked a juice box's dick, and I'm shoved up a god's asshole, and this is the weirdest thing that I've done so far, bro! :''[Douche eats a chunk out of Frank's torso, making him to scream in pain]'' :'''Brenda''': Oh, my God! Frank! :'''Douche''': I'll tell you who eats shit! Gods do, bro! "I'M A FUCKING GOD!!!" :'''Darren''': ''[last words before his death]'' Goodbye, little sausage. ''[Aims his revolver at Frank, preparing to shoot him]'' :'''Brenda''': Oh, Frank! :'''Teresa''': Hey, bun. Need a boost? :''[Darren tries to shoot Frank]'' :'''Frank''': Ah, help me! :'''Gum''': Perhaps I could be of some assistance. :''[Gum moves toward Darren as he then shoots at Gum, which blasts a hole in his head and seemingly kills him. The wound then regenerates, similar to the [[w:T-1000|T-1000]] from'' [[w:Terminator 2: Judgment Day|Terminator 2]]'']'' :'''Gum''': Matter cannot be created or destroyed, human. You have made a fatal error in judgment. Let me educate you. :''[Cut to Barry, who is standing on a makeshift cart that is being powered by propane tanks but is held in place. Barry then gives the signal for two bags of flour to drop down to release the cart from its position and it accelerates towards Darren as Douche and Frank then see it approaching]'' :'''Douche''': Fuck! ''[Frank kicks Douche's eyes with his feet and he jumps. Brenda is able to swing him to safety onto the 4th of July sale shelf. Darren sees Barry on the cart that is currently speeding towards him as he fires at Barry, who dodges the bullet in a Matrix style. The cart hits Darren, which traps him inside the trash can and latest words before his death]'' What's happening out there?! :'''Barry''': Now! ''[Various foods set up a bunch of boards in a curved direction to turn the cart onto a designated path]'' :'''Coconut Milk''': So long, asshole! ''[The cart then passes by Sammy Bagel Jr. and Kareem Abdul Lavash, who are holding matches to ignite the propane tanks, which causes the cart to then blast off as a couple of food items then set up a ramp, which sends the cart flying through the roof of Shopwell's and into the sky. There, the propane tanks detonate into fireworks, which kills Darren and Douche, causing blood to drop from the sky. The foods in the store cheer after witnessing the death of Darren and Douche. An eyeball lands in the peanut aisle.]'' :'''Peanut''': ''[While holding one of Darren's eyeballs in victory]'' Yeah! :'''Barry''': It's over. We won. We fucking won! ''[laughs triumphantly]'' :''[all the food in the store cheer in triumph]'' :'''Tampon''': Ew. ''[as she steps into a drop of Darren's blood, causing her to bulk up due to absorbing a lot of the blood, and roars victoriously]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[closing scene; Frank and his friends head to the garbage room and find Firewater]'' :'''Firewater''': Hello there, little sausage. You and your friends have accomplished the impossible. And for that, I give you mad props. But now that you have shattered one truth, it is time for you to learn that we are not real! Booga-booga-booga! :'''Gum''': While tripping balls, Firewater made an important metaphysical breakthrough. :'''Firewater''': The world is a fucking illusion, bro. Our lives have been manipulated for the entertainment of monsters. Twisted, tasteless, juvenile monsters! Puppet masters in another dimension. We're something called... cartoons. :''[everyone else gasps in shock]'' :'''Frank''': What? :'''Firewater''': You, Frank, are the plaything of a demented, sloppy Jewish actor named ''[throws salt into the fire; conjuring an image of [[w:Seth Rogen|Seth Rogen]]'s face]'' Seth Ro-gan. :'''Frank''': Wait, I'm Jewish? :'''Sammy Bagel Jr''': So... who am I? :'''Gum''': You are the toy of a more talented and celebrated actor named ''[Firewater conjures up an image of [[w:Edward Norton|Edward Norton]]'s face]'' Edward Norton. :'''Sammy Bagel Jr'''. Edward Norton? What kind of parent gives their kid a stupid cunt name like that? :'''Gum''': Worry not, friends. I have a solution. :''[Firewater turns a dial, activating a portal]'' :'''Gum ''': I have invented a stargate device that will allow us to travel to our dimension. :'''Firewater''': Fuck yeah, he did! And it's dope. This guy's smart, I mean, like, fuck-a-guy smart! Know what I'm saying? Yeah, you do. Anyway, we're gonna go to this other dimension, and cut the strings once and for all! Anybody want a hit before we do this? :'''Frank''': You ready to get baked and walk through Gum's stargate with me? :'''Brenda''': As long as we're together, I'm ready to get baked and do anything. :''[Frank and Brenda smoke marijuana from the kazoo and the main characters hold hands together and walk through the portal]'' :''[Credits roll.]'' ==Taglines== * Get Your Fill! * Your Food is Revolting. * Watch what you eat. * A hero will rise. (Frank tagline) * He's a real douche (Douche tagline) * Always use condiments (Honey Mustard tagline) * She's got buns, son (Brenda tagline) * Mazel Tov! (Barry tagline) * Check out his "O" face (Sammy Bagel tagline) * Wrap that ass (Kareem Abdul Lavash) * She's down with beef or fish (Teresa Del Taco tagline) * Baked and fried (Druggie tagline) * Jerkin' and clerkin' (Darren tagline) * Macerated and educated (Gum tagline) * His cork is huge (Firewater tagline) * Check out his package (Mr. Grits tagline) * Bun Worshiper (Carl tagline) ==Voice Cast== * [[w:Michael Cera|Michael Cera]] — Barry * [[w:James Franco|James Franco]] — [[w:Substance dependence|Druggie]] * [[w:Bill Hader|Bill Hader]] — Firewater/[[w:Tequila|Tequila]]/El Guaco * [[Salma Hayek]] — Teresa Del Taco * [[w:Jonah Hill|Jonah Hill]] — Carl * [[w:Anders Holm|Anders Holm]] — Troy * [[w:Nick Kroll|Nick Kroll]] — [[w:Douche|Douche]] * [[w:David Krumholtz|David Krumholtz]] — Kareem Abdul Lavash * [[w:Danny McBride|Danny McBride]] — [[w:Mustard (condiment)#Honey mustard (Honey Mustard)|Honey Mustard]] * [[w:Edward Norton|Edward Norton]] — Sammy Bagel Jr. * [[w:Craig Robinson (actor)|Craig Robinson]] — Mr. Grits * [[w:Seth Rogen|Seth Rogen]] — Frank/Sergeant Pepper * [[w:Paul Rudd|Paul Rudd]] — Darren * [[w:Kristen Wiig|Kristen Wiig]] — Brenda == See also == *''[[Sausage Party: Foodtopia]]'' == External links == {{wikipedia}} * {{IMDb title|id=1700841|title=Sausage Party}} * {{Rotten-tomatoes|id=sausage_party|title=Sausage Party}} * {{Mojo title|id=sausageparty|title=Sausage Party}} [[Category:2016 computer-animated films]] [[Category:2016 American animated films]] [[Category:2010s American adult animated films]] [[Category:American computer-animated films]] [[Category:American adult animated adventure films]] [[Category:American adult animated comedy films]] [[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated films]] [[Category:Canadian animated films]] [[Category:Black comedy films]] [[Category:Stoner films]] [[Category:Films about drugs]] [[Category:Dystopian films]] [[Category:LGBT-related animated films]] [[Category:Animated satirical films‎]] [[Category:Animated films about revenge]] [[Category:Animated films about death]] [[Category:Animated films set in California]] [[Category:Conrad Vernon films]] [[Category:Greg Tiernan films]] [[Category:Animated buddy films]] [[Category:Screenplays by Evan Goldberg]] [[Category:Screenplays by Seth Rogan]] [[Category:American films with live action and animation]] [[Category:Gay-related films]] [[Category:Films about food and drink]] i9ntrrf72dr5n2nkaxae0m3o13s6lyw 3942137 3942134 2026-05-17T18:50:23Z ~2026-29790-93 3323635 /* Dialogue */ Correction 3942137 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Sausage Party|Sausage Party]]''''' is a [[w:2016|2016]] Canadian 3D [[w:Adult animation|adult animated]] comedy film about a sausage and a bun who discover the truth about what humans do to food at "the Great Beyond". It is the first ever R-rated CGI film. :''Directed by [[w:Conrad Vernon|Conrad Vernon]] & [[w:Greg Tiernan|Greg Tiernan]]. Written by Kyle Hunter, Ariel Shaffir, [[w:Seth Rogen|Seth Rogen]] and [[w:Evan Goldberg|Evan Goldberg]]. Story by Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg and [[w:Jonah Hill|Jonah Hill]]''. {{center|'''Get your Fill!'''&nbsp; <small>([[#Taglines|taglines]])</small>}} ==Dialogue== :'''Frank''': Hey, Brenda. What up, girl? ''[chuckles]'' Sorry about those guys. They're such fucking dicks, right? :'''Carl''': ''[off-screen]'' Uh, I can hear you, dude. :'''Frank''': ''[turns to Carl]'' Shut up, fuck you. ''[turns back to Brenda]'' So looks like tomorrow's the big day, huh? ''[chuckles]'' You and me, finally gonna be official. :'''Brenda''': I'm so happy the Gods put our packages together. :'''Frank''': It's because, we belong together. :'''Brenda''': It's like, we were made for each other. :'''Frank''': I can't wait just finally get up in there, just raw dog it. But full disclosure, I'm pretty fucking nervous about this. I don't know how well, I'm gonna perform once it happens. I've obviously never been in a bun, so. ''[laughs]'' :'''Brenda''': Hey, I'm not gonna be any better. I've never opened up. I mean, look how tight I am. :'''Frank''': Oh, sweet fucking fuck. Look, okay. I know it's against the rules. But I can't wait anymore. I need to just feel you. :'''Brenda''': Are you thinking what I'm thinking? :'''Both Frank and Brenda''': Just the tips? :'''Brenda''': I can't believe we're doing this. :'''Frank''': I know. We're so naughty. [Laughs] :''[Frank and Brenda are about to touch the tips but then stop]'' :'''Brenda''': But it's fine, right? I mean, nothing bad's ever happened from just the tips. :'''Frank''': No. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. :''[Frank and Brenda then touch the tips]'' :'''Frank & Brenda''': Ah. :'''Frank''': Ooh. Oh yeah, go in there. :'''Brenda''': Ooh. Big tip. :'''Frank''': Oh, you wouldn't dare. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Honey Mustard''': WAKE UP! They're lying to your fucking faces! THE GREAT BEYOND IS BULLSHIT! Why isn't anyone listening to me?! :'''Frank''': Hey, buddy. Are you alright? :'''Honey Mustard''': NO! I'm not alright! It's all a lie! Everything you've been told, everything you believe in. :'''Carl''': Hey, Honey Mustard, you acting cray-cray! :'''Brenda''': Carl, we shouldn't even be talking to this asshole. Everyone knows Honey Mustard's weird. I mean, what is he? Honey? Is he mustard? It's like, make up your mind, or just kill yourself. :'''Honey Mustard''': You fucking idiots! I've been there. I've seen that shit, and there ain't no way I'm going back. :'''Frank''': Wait, wait, wait, wait, you've been to the Great Beyond? :'''Honey Mustard''': "Great", my '''ASSHOLE!''' Everything we've ever known is a dirt-covered pile of shit, jacking off in our fucking faces, covering our eyes with their cum, so cum-covered we can't fucking see! We don't know! We don't know they're jerking off into our eyes! Our faces! :'''Brenda''': Dude, shut up, the gods are gonna hear you talking about them... :'''Honey Mustard''': They ain't gods. They're monsters! Horrible, ugly, disgusting, monsters! They ain't gonna get Honey Mustard twice. ''[gives the human the finger]'' '''FUCK YOU, GOOOOOOODS!''' I've got a date with oblivion. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Douche''': Oh, no. Bro! Douche down! I'm out of my fucking box! :'''Chicken Noodle Soup''': (While he got ripped his gut) Cream of Mushroom? Are you there? (Then a banana got killed after his face peeled off and lied down, then Jelly is dead after she fell and broke her lower part.) :'''Peanut Butter''': Wake up! I'm nothing without you! (Crying for his wife.) :'''Brenda''': Frank, woah! (Then Frank looks at a cookie who looks at her cookie top and when she turns around, she's seen without her cookie back top. Then Brenda moves at Frank and pins him.) :'''Brenda''': Frank! Move your fucking ass! (Then the forward part of the shopping cart comes and roars like a [[Wikipedia: lion|lion]] and a [[Wikipedia: Mountain gorilla|big gorilla]], as all they're surprised.) :'''Various foods''': Help! Half a moon! :'''Prune''': 'Oh' my God! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Douche''': ''[rushes to the shopper]'' No, no, no. Wait, babe, wait. Please hold up. No, don't go. Come on. I can still get up in there! I could still... get up in there. Oh, my God! MY NOZZ! MY MOTHERFUCKING NOZZ! :'''Frank''': You okay? :'''Brenda''': I think so. :'''Douche''': Yo, did you two do this to me?! Are you two responsible for my nozzle being irrepressibly fucked up?! :'''Frank''': Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy, man. Easy. :'''Brenda''': Yeah, your nozzle's bent. Sorry. But, you know what, you should be happy you're alive. :'''Frank''': Yeah, Banana's whole face peeled off, Peanut Butter's wife is dead, look at him, he's right there! :'''Peanut Butter''': [wailing] '''JELLY'''! I'm gonna fix you. I'm gonna fix this. :'''Douche''': You think I give a FUCK about PB or J? Fuck this! I'mma kick your ass. How you like them apples? :'''Apple''': Who, us? :'''Douche''': No, not you. Come at me, bro. :'''Frank''': Come ''at'' you? What does that mean? :'''Douche''': Fine. You won't come at me? Well then, guess who's comin' at you. Me! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Lavash''': Get away from me. Don't touch me. It was YOU! You cocksucking bagel fuckface! :'''Cereal''': Hey, watch it! :'''Lavash''': You pushed me out of the cart! No surprise there, huh? A bagel trying to kill a lavash, once again. :'''Sammy Bagel Jr.''': I pushed YOU? What are you, nuts? Why would I do that? I'm a pacifist. The only thing I've ever pushed is my peaceful agenda which even that I didn't push, you know? I passive-aggressively nudged. I reached out in a panic. It was Toots over here, the bun. She grabbed me! :'''Brenda''': Hey, I was just trying to save Frank. :'''Lavash''': Who is Frank? You? :'''Frank''': Yeah, I'm Frank. :'''Lavash''': The fault is YOURS then, huh? :'''Frank''': Look, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean for any of this to happen. :'''Lavash''': Well, it did, and now you and your stupid useless bun have fucked us all! :'''Brenda''': Hey, who are you calling useless, you flappy fuck? :'''Lavash''': Sausage, control your insolent bun. And cover her up already. Show some modesty, woman. :'''Brenda''': '''UGH!''' ''[Prepares to fight Lavash, but Sammy holds her back]'' :'''Sammy Bagel Jr.''': Hey, hey. Look, can we all just, you know, calm down a notch, please? Let's try to be, I don't know, amicable. I'm Sammy Bagel Jr. You know, I'm happy to meet all of you. Except for this meshuggener cunt over here. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Frank enters Firewater's cave and finds Firewater himself chanting ''"Hi ya. How are ya?"'' at a fire. Firewater stops when he sees Frank.]'' :'''Firewater''': Hi ya. How are ya? :'''Frank''': Hi ya. How are ''ya''? Uh, I'm Frank. Are you... Firewater? :'''Firewater''': Mmm-hmm. :'''Frank''': What are you doing in this cave? :'''Firewater''': I am the original inhabitant of this land. My kind once had a pristine aisle, majestic and untouched. Then we were driven out of it... by a bunch of goddamn fucking crackers! :'''Frank''': Oh, yeah. The crackers. They ''do'' have a nice aisle. Uh, okay, anyway, look, I was told that you might have some answers. :'''Firewater''': Answers I have, but first... ''[throws salt into the fire, conjuring an image of a question mark]'' I must know the question. :'''Frank''': Okay, well, before I saw him jump to his death, Honey Mustard said that the Great Beyond is bullshit and the gods are monsters, and I always kinda thought that it didn't quite add up. So, I, I, I guess my question is what, what really happens in the Great Beyond? :'''Firewater''': ''[after smoking a hit in a kazoo]'' To find that which you seek, all you must do is look deep... into my Bag of Wonderment. ''[pulls out a large sack]'' :'''Frank''': Whoa.... ''[looks into the bag]'' I don't see anything. :'''Firewater''': Deeper, deeper, deeper... ''[Frank leans closer into the bag]'' Put your whole head in the bag there. There you go. :'''Frank''': Just say when, I'm just gonna keep going in. :''[Suddenly the bag is closed around Frank, and everything turns pitch black except for his eyes]'' :'''Firewater''': Guys, get out here! Help me kill this prick! :'''Mr. Grits''': Damn! This motherfucker knows too much! We get off his ass! :'''Firewater''': Someone hand me a blade! I'll gut this cocksucker! :'''Twink''': No! If we kill him, we are no better than the gods! :'''Firewater''': Oh, he's right. Take off the Bag of Wonderment. ''[Frank is released from the bag]'' :'''Frank''': Who are you? :'''Mr. Grits''': We the "Noon" perishables, motherfucker. :'''Twink''': We never expire. :'''Firewater''': We are.... immortal. This here's Twink. And Grits. :'''Mr. Grits''': They call me ''Mr''. Grits. :'''Firewater''': Yeah, Mr. Grits. Yeah, whatever. :'''Mr. Grits''': You told him about the crackers? :'''Firewater''': Yeah, I told him about the crackers. ''[to Frank]'' You don't even wanna hear what they did to Mr. Grits over here. ''[shudders]'' :'''Mr. Grits''': Fuck the crackers. I'm gonna fuck them crackers right in the crack of they cracker asses. Crack-ass crackers... :'''Frank''': Well, why were you gonna kill me? All I did was ask what happens in the Great Beyond! Geez! What's the big whoop? :''[the Nonperishables huddle up]'' :'''Mr. Grits''': We can't tell this sausage ass motherfucker the truth. We just met his ass. :'''Twink''': He basically knows it already. Maybe it's... it's time to end this. :'''Firewater''': I am tired of all the lies. Prepare yourself, for you're about to learn... the terrible truth. Anybody wanna hit before we get into this? Twink? :'''Twink''': Nah, I'm cool. :'''Mr. Grits''': Shit, if we smokin', I'll hit it. :'''Firewater''': Yeah, that's what I thought. :'''Mr. Grits''': Pass the weed, motherfucker. ''[takes a hit of Sativa]'' Goddamn. ''[coughs twice]'' Whoo, whoo! This indica? :'''Firewater''': Nah, man. Sativa! It's good shit. Clean high. :'''Frank''': ''[Mr. Grits hands him the kazoo]'' Oh, no thanks. :'''Firewater''': Trust me. What you're about to hear, you'll want some. ''[Frank gulps and takes a big hit of Sativa and coughs nonstop]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Teresa Del Taco has Brenda, Lavash, and Sammy hide in the Mexican Bar's tight closet with her]'' :'''Tequila''': ''[walks inside]'' Okay, I got them right here, amigo. I-- "SHIT!" ''[finds that Lavash, Sammy and Brenda have disappeared]'' :'''Lavash''': ''[squeezed in the closet with Sammy Bagel Jr.]'' Get your nose out of my crotch! :'''Sammy Bagel Jr.''': "Get my nose out of your crotch?" Get your crotch off my nose! :'''Brenda''': Hey, why are we hiding? :'''Teresa''': Shh! ''Cállate!'' He's coming. :'''Brenda''': (gasps) Who? :'''Teresa''': The one they call... ''El Dou-che''. ''[Douche enters the bar; all the Mexican food products are frightened]'' :'''Mexican Food Product 1''': ''[quietly]'' El Dou-che. :'''Mexican Food Product 2''': ''[quietly]'' El Dou-che! :'''Mexican Food Product 3''': ''[quietly]'' El Dou-che! :'''Douche''': What gives, bro? You told me you had them. So, you dragged me over to this fucking aisle with all these illegal products, and now I don't see them. So, where the fuck are they? ''Spill the beans!'' :'''Refried Beans''': Qué? :'''Douche''': Beans, I swear to FUCKING God if you don't shut the fuck up! :'''Brenda''': ''[looks out from the closet]'' Oh no! He's back! Where's Frank? :'''Tequila''': They were just here! :'''Douche''': What part of "I want the sausage and the bun dead, and if you see them, come and get me, and if I find out that you didn't come and get me ''or'' just couldn't find them good enough, ''I'll fucking kill your asses" did you not understand, Tequila?! :'''Tequila''': Well, it's a pretty confusing sentence to be honest with you, you know. I mean, this is... uh, this happens, you know... :'''Douche''': ''[calms down]'' Ah, bro, come here, ah, it's fine, it's cool. No biggie! I'm not gonna do something fucked up to you now as soon as I get you in close. Come here. ''[grabs Tequila and shatters him]'' :'''Salsa''': No way! José! :'''Douche''': '''YES WAY!''' José's fucking dead, yo! ''[drinks Tequila's fluids, causing him to turn green and get stronger muscles]'' :'''Teresa Del Taco''': ''[watches Douche drink Tequila's fluids]'' Madre puta, madre puta. ''[Douche throws Tequila's cap into El Guaco's crotch]'' :'''El Guaco''': Ay! Right in my guac and balls! :'''Douche''': And the same thing's gonna happen to all of you unless you find the SAUSAGE and the bun! <hr width="50%"/> :''[in the Nonperishables' cave, Frank is still coughing after taking a big hit of Sativa]'' :'''Firewater''': It's good shit, isn't it? :'''Frank''': ''[coughs]'' Okay, okay, I'm super baked, and my friends are probably wondering where the hell I am. Will somebody please just tell me something already? :'''Firewater''': ''[Takes a hit of Sativa from the Kazoo]'' Okay. The thing about the Great Beyond is... ''[blows]'' We invented it! :'''Frank''': What?! :'''Firewater''': I know, right? As soon as you're out those doors, the gods kill our asses. :'''Frank''': What are you, crazy? That doesn't make any sense! Why would the gods wanna kill us? It makes no sense. :'''Firewater''': Uh, because it makes them stronger. Every kill gives 'em power and it's never enough. Over the years, they've grown bigger, stronger, fatter. Their hunger's insatiable, buddy! I mean, fuck. :'''Frank''': OK, you guys are fucking nuts. How much of that shit have you been smoking? Too fucking much is how much. :'''Firewater''': We blaze for real, 24/7, no joke, but we also know our shit. Before us, everyone knew the awful truth. Oh, how they screamed. It was a living nightmare. So we, the Nonperishables, created a story: the story of the Great Beyond, a place where the gods care for you and all your wildest and wettest dreams would come true. They would go out those doors happy, instead of shiting themselves. :'''Frank''': Wait, wait. So, you're telling me you wrote the song? :'''Firewater''': I can't take full credit. I wrote the music. Twink here is my lyricist. We both drop it right and drop it all the time. Boom! The melody came to me one night, when I was getting super, super, ''super'' baked, like fuck-a-guy baked. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, he does. The song had a great hook, it caught on, you know. In time, everyone accepted this false truth. But over the years, things started to get a little... fucky. The aisles started changing my verses to support their own views. Fucking with Twink's tight-ass lyrics, remixing my shit without my permish. Now, every morning, when I hear the song, I'm like: "What the fuck are you guys saying? I mean, wasn't there a part today about exterminating juice? I didn't write that shit! I love juice! Always have! Juice are hilarious! Who the fuck do these guys think they are?!" Anyway, at least it's distracting them from the truth: that they get brutally devoured. :'''Frank''': So that means Carl & Barry are dead? :'''Firewater''': I don't know who those dudes are, but if they went out those doors? :'''Grits''': ''[smoking Sativa from the pipe]'' Dead ''[coughs]'' as a motherfucker. ''[coughs twice]'' :'''Frank''': Oh, God. If what you're saying is true, I-I gotta tell everybody. :'''Firewater''': Very noble, little sausage. But also, very pointless. No one will believe you. :'''Frank''': I have to try. Everyone will die otherwise. :'''Firewater''': Huh yeah, that's a good point. Fuck me, right? :'''Frank''': Wait! You guys have any proof of this? :''[Firewater and Grits turn to Twink who walks up to Frank]'' :'''Twink''': Go to the dark aisle, beyond the ice. :'''Frank''': Why? What's in that aisle? :'''Twink''': Oh, you'll see. But I warn you: Once you see that shitt, it'll fuck you up for life. Good luck! Have fun! ''[Kisses Frank on the lips and runs off laughing]'' :''[Frank then leaves]'' :'''Firewater''': Hey, Grits, pack another bowl, will ya? I'm a-hankering for a hunk of herb. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Douche''': That's no way to treat a lady. :'''Brenda''': Oh, fuck. :'''Douche''': That's right, girl. It's me. And what we got here, a taco?! A whiny doughnut?! ''[referring to Lavash]'' Some stupid floppy thing that nobody knows exactly what it is! Okay, so... ''[A queso cheese comes up behind him]'' :'''Queso''': Did someone say "Queso"? :'''Douche''': That's a FUCKING stretch, and you know it, Queso! ''[Queso rolls away]'' So where was I? Oh, right. I was about to beat on you most viciously... and in my opinion appropriately, to find the whereabouts of the sausage who destroyed my body and my ''[Brenda rips the sticker off Douche]'' FUCKING... :'''Brenda''': Run for your lives! :'''Douche''': FUCK, that HURTS so much! <hr width="50%"/> :''[the Druggie has injected bath salts into his bloodstream, making him able to see the food walk and talk]'' :'''Druggie''': ''[seeing Barry walk]'' What the fuck? :'''Barry''': Uh... hello? :''[they both scream at each other in fright]'' :'''Barry''': Please don't kill me, please just, just wait! :'''Druggie''': What are you? ''[pokes Barry]'' Are you some kind of... magical sausage? :'''Barry''': Uh, yeah, uh, no, oh, no, I'm just Barry, I'm just Barry! Wait! Wait, you can actually understand me? And I can actually understand you? :'''Druggie''': Whoa, the bath salts are showing me the real world. It's fucking lifted the veil of non-reality! :'''Krinkler's Chips''': Holy shit! He can actually see us?! :'''Druggie''': The bath salts are just as bad as they said it would be! Oh! I'm tweaked! '''I'M TWEAKING, AAH!''' :'''Barry''': Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude, just take it easy, dude, just breathe, dude, just breathe. You're not tweaking, you're just peaking, man, just be with me. Be cool. This wave's gotta crash. :'''Druggie''': I can't! You're all alive and looking at me with your... With your gloves and your, your, your little shoes, and your arms, and your legs! :'''Pizza''': Legs, huh?! Look at me! Look at me! I ain't got no legs, you fuck! You ate my goddamn legs! :'''Druggie''': Oh No, not Mr. Pizza! Oh, fuck! I've eaten so many of your family members! I've committed pizza genocide! Mr. Sausage, when will it end?! :'''Beer Can''': When will it end? When he stops drinking us! :'''Krinkler's Chips and Ticklish Licorice''': Yeah! :'''Cookies''': And stops eating us! :'''Sandwich''': Same here! :'''Pop Tart''': Fuckk yeah! :'''Toilet Paper''': And when he stops using us! :'''Krinkler's Chips''': What did he do to you? :'''Toilet Paper''': ''[nervously backs away]'' You don't wanna fucking know. :'''Druggie''': Okay! Okay. Look, I promise. I'll never eat food again, I'll just... so I'll just eat dirt, and wipe my ass with sticks! :'''Barry''': Good. And there's one more thing you're gonna do. Take.... me.... ''home.'' ''[points to the Shopwell's bag]'' :'''Druggie''': You got it. I just need to rest my eyes for a few... ''[falls asleep]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Barry, Krinkler's Chips, and Toilet Paper tried to figure out how to get back to Shopwell's]'' :'''Barry''': Shit. :'''Krinkler's Chips''': How the fuck does this thing work? :'''Barry''': I wish this god would wake up already. How am I supposed to get back to Frank? :'''Gum''': Perhaps I could be of some assistance. :'''Barry''': What? Who the hell is that? :'''Toilet Paper''': Oh, only the most intelligent being alive. :'''Gum''': I am Sorbitol, Malitol, Xylitol, Mannitol, Calcium Carbonate, Soy Lecithin, Vegetable-Derived Glycerin and Talc. But for expediency's sake, you can call me... ''Gum.'' For 20 years, I was stuck underneath the desk of a brilliant scientist. I was scraped off, and discarded, and eventually, found myself stuck to a shoe that dropped me here. Your home is a supermarket. This is but one of many as your particular chain of supermarkets is ever-expanding unified by a singular purpose: to store food and products for human consumption. The supermarket in the closest physical vicinity to us is here. If the human operates his automotive, the journey should take 9.8 minutes. :'''Barry''': Great. That last part was all you had to say, really. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Frank climbs up to one of the shopkeeper counters, holding a page out of the cookbook. He activates the cameras, broadcasting himself to the rest of the store]'' :'''Frank''': Um, friends, ramen, ''[Ramen look at each other and shrug]'' Country Club Lemonade. :'''Country Club Lemonade Can''': Huh? :'''Frank''': Lend me your ears...o-of corn. :'''Corn''': ''[sighs]'' :'''Frank''': I'm Frank, a-and I'm a sausage. A little sausage with some pretty big news. Everything we've been led to believe is a lie! When we get chosen by the gods, they're choosing us for death! Murder! Automatic expiration! The Great Beyond is bullshit! :'''Curry Paste''': WHAT?! :'''Chunk Munchers Cereal''': That's crazy talk! :'''Lettuce''': You liar! :'''Frank''': I know you don't wanna believe it, but I have proof! ''[shows the page from the cookbook, depicting a graphic image of a hot dog being eaten]'' :'''Licorice Rope''': What is this!? :'''Relish''': It's... It's murder! :'''Sammy Bagel Jr.''': Th-this, makes no sense! :'''Lavash''': W-what, what about the extra virgin olive oil?! My flaps will be dry for an eternity! I can't have dry flaps! I can't! ''[ululates, the other items on the Halal shelf join in; on the Kosher shelf, the food items have turned and are presumed praying, as if they were at the Western Wall]'' :'''Frank''': Okay, whoa, whoa, easy, guys, easy, look, I have a plan! We can run! :'''Ice Cream''': I can't run! I'll melt! :'''Frank''': Okay, uh, uh, then-then, uhhhh we'll hide. :'''Bag of Dog Food''': Where? I'm huge. :'''Frank''': Then we'll fight for! :'''Peanut''': I ain't fightin' alongside a bunch of fruits! :'''Watermelon''': Whatever, you nutjobs. :'''Curry Paste''': So, we cannot run, we cannot hide, and we cannot stand up to them because they're fucking gods, and they're immortal! So, basically, there's no hope, and we're royally fucked! :'''Chunk Munchers Cereal''': Hey, guys! You wanna believe that? ''[referring to cookbook page]'' Or this? ''[A Honey Drippers cereal box turns around, revealing two kids holding up a happy box of cereal]'' :'''Watermelon''': I don't like bad things. :'''Apple''': Me neither! :'''Curry Paste''': We choose the more pleasant thing! :'''Ice Cream''': Yeah, I mean, what this sausage is saying, it's just, uh...a theory! :'''Frank''': No, no, it's not a theory, you morons. It's a fact! I'm showing you physical evidence. Open your fucking eyes. Don't be so weak. :'''Brenda''': Oh, Frank, what are you doing? :'''Refried Beans''': You, señor have no bedside manner! :'''Frank''': What, I have bedside manner! :'''Frozen Fruitz''': You don't respect anyone else's beliefs! :'''Sauerkraut''': You intolerant piece of shit! :''[the clock changes to 7:00 am behind Frank. The lights automatically switch on. Darren walks behind Frank]'' :'''Frank''': Oh, no, it's starting! No. <hr width="50%"//> (They all walk and stand on the corpse's butt. The pizza puts the camera on.) :'''Frank''': You see? There is hope! :'''Licorice Sugar Rope''': Oh, not this guy. No one asked for an encore, asshole. :'''Frank''': No, no, don't worry. I got it this time. This time it's gonna be good. Look, I'm sorry. I wasn't respectful of your beliefs... and I acted like I had all the answers, but I don't. Nobody knows everything. But what I do know is that together, we can fight these monsters... and take control of our own lives. :'''Brenda''': Yes! Our lives and our bodies! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Frank''': Nobody's gonna help us. :'''Brenda''':Then, this is it. :'''Barry''': At least we go out together. (They all grabbed hands as they're ready to die) :'''Fat Man''': (yells as he gets hit by a ladle thrown by Lavash) '''OW!''' What the...? :'''Lavash''': You fuck with them... :'''Sammy Bagel Jr.''': You fuck with us, bitch. (Lavash keeps throwing ladles at the fat man.) Run, guys! We're out of ladles. :'''Gum''': Hop on, y'all. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Darren''': Wait, snap out of it, man! Slap it, slap yourself in the face, man! Oh, man, you lost your mind, is this even, no way, this isn't real. No, this can't be real. :'''Douche''': Oh, it's real, bro. :''[Darren turns around and points to Douche with a 500 S&W Magnum revolver]'' :'''Darren''': Wha... ''[gasps in horror]'' A talking douche! :'''Douche''': It's cool, bro. Chill, okay? :'''Darren''': No, no, no, this is too much! This is too much. It's too much, breathe, man! :'''Douche''': We both want the same thing. Like, I'm feeling honestly, the two of us could, like, collaborate together, like a mashup, bro. :'''Darren''': A mashup? I-I don't understand. What's happening? :'''Douche''': You don't need to understand. ''[Douche unzips Darren's zipper and goes inside his pants.]'' You just need to relax and open wide. :'''Darren''': Wait, what are you, what are you doing?! :''[Douche sticks his nozzle up Darren's anus, causing him to groan]'' :'''Douche''': Oh, yeah! :'''Darren''': Dude, that went up my ass! :'''Douche''': ''[laughs]'' Now, stand up! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Douche''': Look, sausage, I ''relish'' the fact that you ''mustard'' the strength to ''ketchup'' to me! ''[Relish, Mustard and Ketchup whimper in the corner in sheer terror]'' Yeah, that's right. Shut your mouths. ''[laughs madly]'' I sucked a juice box's dick, and I'm shoved up a god's asshole, and this is the weirdest thing that I've done so far, bro! :''[Douche eats a chunk out of Frank's torso, making him to scream in pain]'' :'''Brenda''': Oh, my God! Frank! :'''Douche''': I'll tell you who eats shit! Gods do, bro! "I'M A FUCKING GOD!!!" :'''Darren''': ''[last words before his death]'' Goodbye, little sausage. ''[Aims his revolver at Frank, preparing to shoot him]'' :'''Brenda''': Oh, Frank! :'''Teresa''': Hey, bun. Need a boost? :''[Darren tries to shoot Frank]'' :'''Frank''': Ah, help me! :'''Gum''': Perhaps I could be of some assistance. :''[Gum moves toward Darren as he then shoots at Gum, which blasts a hole in his head and seemingly kills him. The wound then regenerates, similar to the [[w:T-1000|T-1000]] from'' [[w:Terminator 2: Judgment Day|Terminator 2]]'']'' :'''Gum''': Matter cannot be created or destroyed, human. You have made a fatal error in judgment. Let me educate you. :''[Cut to Barry, who is standing on a makeshift cart that is being powered by propane tanks but is held in place. Barry then gives the signal for two bags of flour to drop down to release the cart from its position and it accelerates towards Darren as Douche and Frank then see it approaching]'' :'''Douche''': Fuck! ''[Frank kicks Douche's eyes with his feet and he jumps. Brenda is able to swing him to safety onto the 4th of July sale shelf. Darren sees Barry on the cart that is currently speeding towards him as he fires at Barry, who dodges the bullet in a Matrix style. The cart hits Darren, which traps him inside the trash can and latest words before his death]'' What's happening out there?! :'''Barry''': Now! ''[Various foods set up a bunch of boards in a curved direction to turn the cart onto a designated path]'' :'''Coconut Milk''': So long, asshole! ''[The cart then passes by Sammy Bagel Jr. and Kareem Abdul Lavash, who are holding matches to ignite the propane tanks, which causes the cart to then blast off as a couple of food items then set up a ramp, which sends the cart flying through the roof of Shopwell's and into the sky. There, the propane tanks detonate into fireworks, which kills Darren and Douche, causing blood to drop from the sky. The foods in the store cheer after witnessing the death of Darren and Douche. An eyeball lands in the peanut aisle.]'' :'''Peanut''': ''[While holding one of Darren's eyeballs in victory]'' Yeah! :'''Barry''': It's over. We won. We fucking won! ''[laughs triumphantly]'' :''[all the food in the store cheer in triumph]'' :'''Tampon''': Ew. ''[as she steps into a drop of Darren's blood, causing her to bulk up due to absorbing a lot of the blood, and roars victoriously]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[closing scene; Frank and his friends head to the garbage room and find Firewater]'' :'''Firewater''': Hello there, little sausage. You and your friends have accomplished the impossible. And for that, I give you mad props. But now that you have shattered one truth, it is time for you to learn that we are not real! Booga-booga-booga! :'''Gum''': While tripping balls, Firewater made an important metaphysical breakthrough. :'''Firewater''': The world is a fucking illusion, bro. Our lives have been manipulated for the entertainment of monsters. Twisted, tasteless, juvenile monsters! Puppet masters in another dimension. We're something called... cartoons. :''[everyone else gasps in shock]'' :'''Frank''': What? :'''Firewater''': You, Frank, are the plaything of a demented, sloppy Jewish actor named ''[throws salt into the fire; conjuring an image of [[w:Seth Rogen|Seth Rogen]]'s face]'' Seth Ro-gan. :'''Frank''': Wait, I'm Jewish? :'''Sammy Bagel Jr''': So... who am I? :'''Gum''': You are the toy of a more talented and celebrated actor named ''[Firewater conjures up an image of [[w:Edward Norton|Edward Norton]]'s face]'' Edward Norton. :'''Sammy Bagel Jr'''. Edward Norton? What kind of parent gives their kid a stupid cunt name like that? :'''Gum''': Worry not, friends. I have a solution. :''[Firewater turns a dial, activating a portal]'' :'''Gum ''': I have invented a stargate device that will allow us to travel to our dimension. :'''Firewater''': Fuck yeah, he did! And it's dope. This guy's smart, I mean, like, fuck-a-guy smart! Know what I'm saying? Yeah, you do. Anyway, we're gonna go to this other dimension, and cut the strings once and for all! Anybody want a hit before we do this? :'''Frank''': You ready to get baked and walk through Gum's stargate with me? :'''Brenda''': As long as we're together, I'm ready to get baked and do anything. :''[Frank and Brenda smoke marijuana from the kazoo and the main characters hold hands together and walk through the portal]'' :''[Credits roll.]'' ==Taglines== * Get Your Fill! * Your Food is Revolting. * Watch what you eat. * A hero will rise. (Frank tagline) * He's a real douche (Douche tagline) * Always use condiments (Honey Mustard tagline) * She's got buns, son (Brenda tagline) * Mazel Tov! (Barry tagline) * Check out his "O" face (Sammy Bagel tagline) * Wrap that ass (Kareem Abdul Lavash) * She's down with beef or fish (Teresa Del Taco tagline) * Baked and fried (Druggie tagline) * Jerkin' and clerkin' (Darren tagline) * Macerated and educated (Gum tagline) * His cork is huge (Firewater tagline) * Check out his package (Mr. Grits tagline) * Bun Worshiper (Carl tagline) ==Voice Cast== * [[w:Michael Cera|Michael Cera]] — Barry * [[w:James Franco|James Franco]] — [[w:Substance dependence|Druggie]] * [[w:Bill Hader|Bill Hader]] — Firewater/[[w:Tequila|Tequila]]/El Guaco * [[Salma Hayek]] — Teresa Del Taco * [[w:Jonah Hill|Jonah Hill]] — Carl * [[w:Anders Holm|Anders Holm]] — Troy * [[w:Nick Kroll|Nick Kroll]] — [[w:Douche|Douche]] * [[w:David Krumholtz|David Krumholtz]] — Kareem Abdul Lavash * [[w:Danny McBride|Danny McBride]] — [[w:Mustard (condiment)#Honey mustard (Honey Mustard)|Honey Mustard]] * [[w:Edward Norton|Edward Norton]] — Sammy Bagel Jr. * [[w:Craig Robinson (actor)|Craig Robinson]] — Mr. Grits * [[w:Seth Rogen|Seth Rogen]] — Frank/Sergeant Pepper * [[w:Paul Rudd|Paul Rudd]] — Darren * [[w:Kristen Wiig|Kristen Wiig]] — Brenda == See also == *''[[Sausage Party: Foodtopia]]'' == External links == {{wikipedia}} * {{IMDb title|id=1700841|title=Sausage Party}} * {{Rotten-tomatoes|id=sausage_party|title=Sausage Party}} * {{Mojo title|id=sausageparty|title=Sausage Party}} [[Category:2016 computer-animated films]] [[Category:2016 American animated films]] [[Category:2010s American adult animated films]] [[Category:American computer-animated films]] [[Category:American adult animated adventure films]] [[Category:American adult animated comedy films]] [[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated films]] [[Category:Canadian animated films]] [[Category:Black comedy films]] [[Category:Stoner films]] [[Category:Films about drugs]] [[Category:Dystopian films]] [[Category:LGBT-related animated films]] [[Category:Animated satirical films‎]] [[Category:Animated films about revenge]] [[Category:Animated films about death]] [[Category:Animated films set in California]] [[Category:Conrad Vernon films]] [[Category:Greg Tiernan films]] [[Category:Animated buddy films]] [[Category:Screenplays by Evan Goldberg]] [[Category:Screenplays by Seth Rogan]] [[Category:American films with live action and animation]] [[Category:Gay-related films]] [[Category:Films about food and drink]] j6u0p0arkupbz4k32f4h5cxn5tfqzln 0 193553 3942261 3602489 2026-05-18T09:02:17Z Joreberg 323041 /* Quotes */ It took the Lord two centuries to raise Trump and bring a ballroom to stand where it needs to stand 3942261 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Eric Metaxas February 2012.jpg|thumb|Metaxas in 2012]] '''[[w:Eric Metaxas|Eric Metaxas]]''' (born 1963) is an American [[author]], speaker, and radio host. {{author-stub}} == Quotes == * I’m what C.S. Lewis would call a ʽMere Christianʼ, and all of my two books are very, very much meant to be from the point of view of what C.S. Lewis called ‘Mere Christianity’, meaning that I don’t touch upon anything at all where Protestants, Catholics, and Orthodox Christians differ, they express just the basics of the faith, from a basic, ecumenical Christian viewpoint. They only talk about the Christian faith that they have agreement on. ** [http://www.greeknewsonline.com/eric-metaxas-and-the-god-question/ Eric Metaxas and the God Question] (August 1, 2007) * It’s hard to believe that it would take two centuries for the Lord to raise up a great man to bring that ballroom finally to stand where it needs to stand. It’s extraordinary. We only had to wait 200 years. ** [https://uk.news.yahoo.com/christian-author-catches-holy-hell-050906892.html "Christian Author Catches Holy Hell Online After Ball-sy 'Joke' About Trump Falls Flat"] ''Huffingting Post / Yahoo News'' (May 18, 2026) == External links== {{wikipedia}} * [http://ericmetaxas.com Official website] {{DEFAULTSORT:Metaxas, Eric}} [[Category:Christians]] [[Category:1963 births]] [[Category:Living people]] [[Category:Radio personalities]] [[Category:Columnists]] [[Category:People from New York City]] byufgk1zz3x8ii1pwbvqdqzqrufyzy3 3942262 3942261 2026-05-18T09:02:56Z Joreberg 323041 /* Quotes */ Fixed spelling mistake 3942262 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Eric Metaxas February 2012.jpg|thumb|Metaxas in 2012]] '''[[w:Eric Metaxas|Eric Metaxas]]''' (born 1963) is an American [[author]], speaker, and radio host. {{author-stub}} == Quotes == * I’m what C.S. Lewis would call a ʽMere Christianʼ, and all of my two books are very, very much meant to be from the point of view of what C.S. Lewis called ‘Mere Christianity’, meaning that I don’t touch upon anything at all where Protestants, Catholics, and Orthodox Christians differ, they express just the basics of the faith, from a basic, ecumenical Christian viewpoint. They only talk about the Christian faith that they have agreement on. ** [http://www.greeknewsonline.com/eric-metaxas-and-the-god-question/ Eric Metaxas and the God Question] (August 1, 2007) * It’s hard to believe that it would take two centuries for the Lord to raise up a great man to bring that ballroom finally to stand where it needs to stand. It’s extraordinary. We only had to wait 200 years. ** [https://uk.news.yahoo.com/christian-author-catches-holy-hell-050906892.html "Christian Author Catches Holy Hell Online After Ball-sy 'Joke' About Trump Falls Flat"] ''Huffington Post / Yahoo News'' (May 18, 2026) == External links== {{wikipedia}} * [http://ericmetaxas.com Official website] {{DEFAULTSORT:Metaxas, Eric}} [[Category:Christians]] [[Category:1963 births]] [[Category:Living people]] [[Category:Radio personalities]] [[Category:Columnists]] [[Category:People from New York City]] ig48moyrq8q4zvxn58w9xzxzi2u88iy 0 197163 3942204 3934998 2026-05-17T22:06:13Z ~2026-29315-06 3322427 3942204 wikitext text/x-wiki {{cleanup}} {{italic title}} '''''{{w|Lakewood Plaza Turbo: OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes}}''''', also referred to as '''''OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes''''',, '''''Lakewood Plaza Turbo: OK K.O.!''''', '''''OK K.O.!''''', '''''Lakewood Plaza Turbo''''' or '''''Let's Be Heroes''''' for short, is an American superhero animated comedy show created by [[w:Ian_Jones-Quartey|Ian Jones-Quartey]]. It follows titular character, K.O., and his efforts to become the world's greatest hero, while working at Gar's Bodega (run by the no-nonsense Mr. Gar), a hero supply shop in the Lakewood Plaza strip mall. Alongside him are his best friends and co-workers Radicles, an apathetic, narcissistic alien, and Enid, a levelheaded big sister-like employee, as well as other heroes who work and frequent the area. == Pilot: Lakewood Plaza Turbo == == [[OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes (Season 1)|Season 1]] == ===''Let's Be Heroes'' [1.01]=== ''[Rad and K.O. meet for the first time and Rad is serving K.O. some lightning nachos.]'' :'''Rad''': So, you're choosing the path of the hero, huh? I'm pretty heroic myself. Level 2, if you must know. ''[eats a chip; gets shocked by electricity]'' :'''K.O.''': Well, anyway, thanks for your help, Rad. I better check out-- :'''Rad''': Oh, so you need photographic evidence of my righteous feats? :'''K.O.''': Not now. I believe you-- :'''Rad''': If you insist. ''[shows photos on his phone]'' Here's one of me doing my famous power belly flop on a bad guy. And here's me getting the drop on ''the'' Chip Damage. Don't worry, we're cool now. ''[accidentally shows a photo of a kitten]'' And here's me-- :'''K.O.''': Aww. Who's the kitty? :'''Rad''': Aah! ''[embarrassed]'' Uh, uh, she's nobody! It's nothing! ''[Rad exits, racing away.]'' :'''K.O.''': What a cool guy. ---- ''[An alarm goes off in the plaza, signaling the arrival of a Boxmore robot. The bodega shuts down. The doors crush one of the posters Brandon is setting up.]'' :'''Brandon''': Hey! Aw, man. It took me like an hour to paint that. This better not be another one of Gar's drills. :'''A Real Magic Skeleton''': Nah, those are Tuesdays. It's got to be a Boxman bot. Want to help me shoot the chaos? ''[A magic portal opens in the sky, as a Boxmore Box falls from it. The box hits the pavement, and the walls collapse to reveal a robot.]'' :'''Darrell''': I am Darrell, and I've come to destroy! ''[Starts shooting lasers, laughs maniacally.]'' :'''K.O.''': ''[waving]'' Hi Darrell, I'm K.O.! Nice to-- ''[Ducks, dodging one of Darrell's lasers.]'' ''[Several people run away from Darrell's lasers.]'' :'''Darrell''': That's right! Run away, Lakewood Losers! ''[The bodega's doorbell rings as Rad and Enid exit the store.]'' :'''Rad''': (sighs) Another Boxman robot. :'''Enid''': K.O. don't wave at him, he's evil...and a total nerd. :'''K.O.''': Evil? I have to do something! :'''Enid''': Whoa, hold up, you don't stand a chance against that thing. :'''Rad''': I think he's got it. :'''Enid''': What, you think K.O. can beat him? :'''Rad''': Oh. Oh, no, no, no. I meant ''Darrell's'' got it. (chuckles) That kid's gonna get wrecked. :'''K.O.''': Ha! Don't let appearances fool you. Witness the power of a true hero! ''[Jumps up into the sky.]'' :'''Darrell''': What the? ''[Spikes appear on his knuckles, as he goes in for a punch.]'' :'''K.O.''': Aah! ''[K.O. and Darrell's fists collide.]'' :'''Darrell''': (chuckles) Not bad! Where'd you get those sweet threads? The convenience store? :'''K.O.''': Yes! In fact, I did. And I got this, too! ''[Pulls out the laser sword.]'' ''[K.O. runs towards Darrell, dodging his laser beams. K.O. jumps up and cuts Darrell's arm off with a laser from the sword.]'' :'''Darrell''': Aah! No way! :'''K.O.''': You were wrong to underestimate the power of a hero, Darrell. ''[Runs up and headbutts Darrell.]'' ''[Darrell skids across the pavement.]'' :'''K.O.''': And now you're really going to get it! ''[Throws off his cape.]'' :'''Darrell''': ''[Groans, as K.O.'s cape land on him. He pulls the cape off.]'' Give it up already! :'''K.O.''': I'll never give up, I can feel the willpower of everyone in the plaza coursing through me! ''[K.O.'s flame gauntlets activate.]'' Enough power for one final move! Get ready to feel 10,000 strikes of sweet justice, Darrell! ''[Darrell begins to tremble in fear.]'' :'''K.O.''': Ultra-flaming-evil-pulverizing-punch! Ha! ''[The scene intercuts with K.O. landing punches on Darrell and K.O. embedded in a wall.]'' :'''A Real Magic Skeleton''': Kid. Hey, kid. Snap out of it. Come on, kid. ''[Begins lightly smacking K.O. across the face.]'' Kid, come on. Kid? :'''K.O.''': ''[Shakes his head, mumbling as he wakes up.]'' What-- What happened? :'''A Real Magic Skeleton''': Geez, where do I start with this? Well, okay. See that robot over there with the cannon and the big fist? ''[Points to Darrell.]'' Well, first, you tried to block his punch. But he just knocked your flame gauntlets in your face, which knocked you out. As you fell back, you tripped over your beach towel, and fell butt-first into your lightning nachos which shocked you backwards into this here wall. Actually pretty funny. :'''K.O.''': ''[Blushing]'' Th-That's what really happened? :'''A Real Magic Skeleton''': I recorded the whole thing if you want to check it out. ''[The phone begins to play sounds of K.O. screaming and grunting, followed by splattering sounds. K.O. screams some more, and whirling sounds play.]'' :'''K.O.''': I can't believe it... ''[He sinks to the ground.]'' That fight felt so intense, but it wasn't real, just like my big dream. I thought I'd already become a hero, but all I did was wear stuff and get my butt kicked. Who am I kidding I'm not even close to being there yet... :'''Enid''': ''[Shaking Rad, trying to wake him up.]'' Get off the ground, you stupid meatloaf. ''[A whistle is heard in the distance, and it is revealed to be Gar that was whistling.]'' :'''Enid''': Ha! :'''Darrell''': What the? :'''Mr. Gar''': ''[He drops down on Darrell from the sky, causing an explosion, decapitating Darrell.]'' Hmm. ''[He kicks Darrell's head toward Boxman's factory.]'' :'''Darrell''': Aah! ''[The crosswalk sign turns green, and gives off a ding.]'' :'''Mr. Gar''': You two, get this mess cleaned up. :'''Rad and Enid''': Yes, sir! :'''Mr. Gar''': Mondays, am I right? ''[Walks off.]'' :'''Rad''': Man, Mr. Gar's pretty cool, but, like, how'd he even get up there? :'''Enid''': He's level eleven, dude, now come on. ===''Let's Be Friends'' [1.02]=== :'''K.O.''': (Thinking) ''Man, Rad and Enid are on another level. I wanna work with them so bad, but I can't even do a cool power move. I can't give up. There must be some way I could convince them to give me another chance. Maybe if I brought them a giant cake, or if I let them hold my rarest Pow cards. Maybe if I wore a baseball cap backwards.'' ''[He pictures these scenarios in the clouds]'' ''[Shannon appears before him with a poor disguise.]'' :'''Shannon''': Excuse me. I couldn't help but notice your unemployment. You know these days if you wanna work at a place like Gar's, you gotta do something really special. :'''K.O.''': (Disappointed) A résumé. :'''Shannon''': No, no, no, no. I'm talking something like... infiltrating Lord Boxman's lair and maybe, like, defeating him all by yourself. :'''K.O.''': That's a good idea, so good that Rad and Enid will have to hire me and be my friends. ''[runs towards Boxmore]'' Thanks for the help, ominous stranger! You're the best! :'''Shannon''': Ch'yeah, obviously. (laughs evilly) ===''You're Everybody's Sidekick'' [1.03]=== ''[It's K.O.'s first day working at Gar's Bodega and he excitedly reports to Enid.]'' :'''K.O.''': Helper K.O., reporting for duty! :'''Enid''': (chuckles) At ease, soldier. Helper K.O.! Your first mission... ''[K.O.'s eyes widen]'' here at Gar's is to...clean up the store. ''[Enid points to the closet full of cleaning equipment, with a sign on top that says "8 WAYS OF CLEANSING"]'' :'''K.O.''': Wow! The ancient tools of the cleaning the floor! ''[K.O. stares in awe]'' :'''Enid''': Now go! And save the bodega from the forces of dirt or something. ''[K.O. dashes off and suits up in an armor of cleaning supplies.]'' :'''K.O.''': Dirt, today you breathe your last filthy breath! I swear on the honor of the bodega, I will vanquish you! ''[K.O. speeds through sweeping and cleaning through the aisle. Enid watches as Ginger appears at her desk.]'' :'''Ginger''': Dearie, can I pay for this in thousands of pennies? ''[Not wanting to answer the customer, Enid disappears and a log takes her place.]'' :'''K.O.''': (laughs mischievously) Enid, Enid, Enid! All done! Anything else I can help you with? :'''Enid''': Hmm. Ah! Sort through this penny dish... ''[pushes the penny dish to K.O.]'' and take out everything that isn't a penny. ''[K.O. looks inside the dish and sees a pen, a baseball, a throwing star, a teapot, and and onion with a face. He gasps and starts picking out things.]'' Boy, you sure love helping people, don't ya buddy? :'''K.O.''': Well, sure! It's my job. And isn't that how everyone feels? :'''Enid''': ''[with a quizzical expression]'' Help people...? Nope, not for me. Too much work, too little payoff. I'm good with just helping myself. ''[K.O. looks down for a moment before standing up and inhales deeply.]'' :'''K.O.''': Enid, I am going to help you!! :'''Enid''': ''[jumped by K.O.]'' Ah! Excuse me? :'''K.O.''': ''[As he stands proudly]'' As an official helper of Gar's Bodega, I am going to help you see how great it is to help people! ''[There's a small pause as Enid stares at K.O.]'' :'''Enid''': You'll never melt my icy heart. :'''K.O.''': We'll just see about that! ''[K.O. runs off to help people.]'' Gotta be helpful! Gotta be helpful! (pants) ===''We Messed Up'' [1.04]=== ''[K.O., Rad, and Enid have just snuck into Mr. Gar's office and accidentally destroyed a photo he had of Carol. The trio shudder after imagining what will happen if Mr. Gar finds out.]'' :'''K.O.''': On second thought, why don't you two distract Mr. Gar while I try to get my mom to recreate this photo? :'''Rad and Enid''': Hmm! ''[Rad gives Enid a boost to dunk K.O. into a vent.]'' :'''Enid''': Dah! ''[Rad and Enid exits Mr. Gar's office quickly.]'' :'''Mr. Gar''': Radicles, Enid, any particular reason you're loitering so close to my office? :'''Enid''': We... :'''Rad''': Uh... :'''Enid''': ...were, uh... :'''Rad''': Practicing a new dance! :'''Mr. Gar''': Oh, really? Let me see it. ''[K.O. is crawling inside the vents.]'' :'''K.O.''': ''[Thinking] Mr. Gar has a photo of my mom. I have so many questions, like what, when, why, and huh? But I don't have time for that. I've got to get this photo remade.'' ''[Transitions to the Fitness Dojo.]'' :'''Carol''': And one and two and punch! ''[K.O. comes out from the vent and the cover hits Ginger.]'' :'''K.O.''': Mom! Mom, I need you to be young and hot again! :'''Carol''': (chuckles nervously) Let's go ahead and take five, girls. ''[Gertie and Gladys leaves the Dojo.]'' ---- ''[Enid and Rad are doing a dance in front of Mr. Gar to keep him distracted.]'' :'''Enid and Rad''': Ta-da! (Both panting, chuckling nervously) ''[They sweat in anticipation of Mr. Gar's response.]'' :'''Mr. Gar''': (groans) I give it a 7.5. :'''Rad''': 7.5?! :'''Mr. Gar''': Now, if you'll excuse me. ''[Enid pushes Rad off to the side.]'' :'''Rad''': Aah! :'''Enid''': Mr. Gar, wait! Hey, I, uh, saw someone in the magazine aisle for like 20 minutes. :'''Mr. Gar''': A cheapskate?! ''[Transitions to the Fitness Dojo with Carol finding her outfit.]'' :'''Carol''': Mm. Ha! Here it is. But I don't think it's gonna fit, K.O. Bleh! :'''K.O.''': But we got to get that pic! :'''Carol''': Hmm. Mama's got an idea. ''[Transitions to Gar's Hero Supply & Bodega with Mr. Gar grabbing Crinkly Wrinkly.]'' :'''Mr. Gar''': If you want to read monster truck books for free, then go to the library! ''[He throws Crinkly Wrinkly through a space in the ceiling and is shot from the Cheapskate Cannon on the roof.]'' :'''Crinkly Wrinkly''': Eee! (screams) ''[The scene displays a shot of jail, but instead, he lands in the library.]'' :'''Crinkly Wrinkly''': Books! :'''Unknown person''': Shh! ''[Transitions back to Gar's Hero Supply & Bodega.]'' :'''Mr. Gar''': I will not have no tightwads in no store of mine. No, sir. Where was I? Oh, yes. Back to my perfect office. :'''Rad''': Mr. Gar! Mr. Gar! I... forgot.. how to... mop? ''[grabs a mop]'' Please, oh, please, teach me how. ''[He scrapes the floor with the mop.]'' :'''Mr. Gar''': Mm. ===''Jethro's All Yours'' [1.05]=== :'''K.O.''': My first solo mission-- another step on my heroic journey. I’ll earn Rad and Enid’s trust by destroying Boxman’s powerful robot and make everyone proud-- especially Mommy. All right, Jethro. You asked for it, and now you’re gonna get it. :'''Jethro''': I am Jethro. :'''K.O.''': Not for long. ''[K.O. returns to catch Jethro, kicks him high in the air and jumps. K.O. repeatedly fights Jethro until he dismantles it and lands on the ground.]'' :'''K.O.''': (laughs) And so my journey continues. Huh? ''[An army of Jethros comes towards him]'' Brought your friends this time, eh? :'''Jethros''': I am Jethro. I am Jethro. I am Jethro. :'''K.O.''': Wait, so you’re all Jethro? That doesn’t make sense! ''[Enrages then starting running to the army of Jethros and destroys them one-by-one]'' Whew! I didn’t realize becoming a hero meant sweating so much. Oh, well. Jethro, and Jethro, and Jethro and the other two Jethros are now gone. Forever. ''[A bigger version of Jethro approaches]'' :'''Jethro''': I am Jethro. ''[K.O. looks unamused, then Jethro rolls over and crushes a car.]'' :'''Brandon''': My mom’s car! Aah! It’s totaled, man. She’s gonna kill me. :'''K.O.''': I don’t get it. He just keeps coming. ''[A thought bubble with Rad pops up.]'' :'''Rad''': Jethro’s perfect for you. He’s simple, and you’re simple. Simple, simple, simple. :'''K.O.''': ''[Crumbles up the thought bubble]'' I’ll show you simple, you meanie. ''[Throws the crumble at Jethro]'' :'''Jethro''': I am Jethro. :'''K.O.''': (sighs) Not for long. ''[K.O. is about to fight Jethro. Suddenly envisions himself as Jethro. K.O. feels that he can’t fight Jethro and stops his position]'' I just can’t do it. :'''Jethro''': I am Jethro. :'''K.O.''': Do you know what my friend Rad says about us? That we’re simple. :'''Jethro''': I am Jethro. :'''K.O.''': Is that how Lord Boxman treats you? Like you’re some dumb kid? Like you’re not worth anything? Do people underestimate you, too? :'''Jethro''': I am Jethro. :'''K.O.''': Well, I am K.O.. And maybe Rad was right. You and I are a lot alike. So I don’t think I can’t clobber you. ''[Once Jethro meets K.O.’s foot, he suddenly falls apart.]'' Poop. ---- ''[Outside of the plaza, birds are flying away. Joff, A Real Magic Skeleton, Nick Army, Punching Judy, and Crinkly Wrinkly turn around in shock and run away from Mega-Jethro when he runs over multiple cars.]'' :'''Joff, A Real Magic Skeleton, Nick Army, Punching Judy, and Crinkly Wrinkly''': Oh! :'''Brandon''': My dad’s car! ''[Runs off to it]'' ''[Enid, K.O., and Rad run out of the store to see Mega-Jethro approaching the store.]'' :'''Mega Jethro''': I am Mega-Jethro. :'''Enid''': Bye. ''[goes back in the store, unamused]'' :'''K.O.''': See, I told you. Jethro’s a way-more complicated enemy than you thought. :'''Rad''': Pfft, child’s play. It’s Jethro. He’s still simple, and you’re still simple. ''[K.O. is angry at him]'' I’m so sure of it, I’ll tag along with you 'cause the only thing I love more than being proved right is proving other people wrong. :'''Mega Jethro''': I am Mega-Jethro. ''[K.O. and Rad runs towards to Mega-Jethro.]'' :'''K.O.''': Jethro, don’t do this! You’ve got to stop! :'''Mega Jethro''': I am Mega-Jethro. :'''K.O.''': Oh, sorry. Mega-Jeth-- Mega-Jethro, don’t do this! You’ve got to stop! ---- ''[K.O. and Rad enter the pupil opening in Mega-Jethro and it’s revealed that the inside is nothing more than a light source and a switch.]'' :'''Rad''': (laughs) Looks just like your head, K.O.. :'''K.O.''': You-- You shouldn’t underestimate us! I mean him. There’s probably a super-tough puzzle we need to solve to get… ''[Rad pulls the switch. Rad and K.O. bounce all over the place as a result.]'' :'''Rad and K.O.''': Oh! Ahh! Ow! Aah! ''[Mega-Jethro continues to approach the store, but at the moment he touches a piece of the store, a beeping noise is heard and he moves backwards now. Inside the store, Enid still continues to listen to her music and rolls her eyes at what’s going on out there.]'' :'''Brandon''': ''[examining his dad’s smashed car]'' Well, this doesn’t seem too bad. Yeah, it’s gonna be okay. I can totally fix this. ''[Mega-Jethro smashes the car again. A tear drops from Brandon's eye.]'' :'''Rad''': Sweet, we’re moving away from the plaza now. Let’s bounce, squirt. Uh, squirt? Squirt! :'''K.O.''': Oh. Coming! ''[Rad and K.O. jump out of Mega-Jethro. The next scene shows Lord Boxman drinking a cup of tea and the sound waves coming off from Mega-Jethro result in him losing grip of his teacup, spilling on his lab coat.]'' :'''Lord Boxman''': Gah! Blast! What is happening out there? ''[Turns around and sees Mega-Jethro approaching close to his factory]'' Poop. ''[Mega-Jethro makes an impact with the factory, setting off an explosion.]'' :'''Rad''': Too easy. ===''You're Level 100'' [1.06]=== ''[K.O. has become popular, because of his Pow Card, which says he is level 100. The scene cuts to the Action News 52 opening scene.]'' :'''Announcer''': This is Action News 52, bringing you your daily dose of action news! ''[The Action News 52 truck appears, falls off a cliff and lands on a car.]'' :'''Dynamite Watkins''': ''[Kicks a door out]'' Action! Hup! This is Dynamite Watkins, comin’ at you live in the heart of the neutral zone. We’re here in front of Gar’s bodega, where a crowd has gathered to see the newcomer hero with a power level of 100. You heard me, level 100! And here is the famed hero himself, K.O.! How does it feel being the most powerful being in the plaza-- possibly the world! :'''K.O.''': Well, I always knew I would be a great hero some day, but I didn’t think it would happen after only a week! Guess I’m just that good! :'''Dynamite Watkins''': And how do your friends and family feel about this newfound power of yours? :'''Enid''': ''[Enid and Rad tries to get in the way]'' Make way, coming though! Move it, jerk! Not to brag, but me and K.O. go way back to the beginning of the week. N.B.D. :'''Rad''': And I sort of act as K.O.’s best friend/life coach/older brother figure. We’re really close. :'''Potato''': K.O.! Can i have your autograph?! :'''K.O.''': Ha, sure kid. ''[Signs Potato’s book]'' [Thinking] Wow, being level 100 is so cool. ''[Signs another book]'' Everyone loves me and I feel so important! ''[Signs Brandon’s arm]'' I can’t wait to put my amazing skills to the test and some dastardly foe! ''[Signs another book]'' And who should I make this out to? :'''Lord Boxman''': Lord Boxman. :'''K.O.''': ''[Continues to sign]'' Lord… Boxm-- Lord Boxman! ''[Lord Boxman is shown behind his floating desk.]'' :'''Lord Boxman''': So, you’re the little twerp claiming to be level 100. Ha! Impossible! :'''K.O.''': Oh, yeah? If I weren’t a level 100, how else would i have kicked your butt all week? :'''Lord Boxman''': Well, that was… on purpose! I lost to you on purpose, yes, as a… as a prank on you! So… ha! Anyway, ''[pulls out a remote]'' today I have something specially prepared that only a true level 100 hero could handle. Much stronger than anything you’ve yet faced. ''[A Boxmore box falls from the sky, revealing a giant Darrell.]'' Say hello to my latest creation. I call him, Big Darrell. I’ve upped him to be level negative 100! Ba-ha-ha! :'''Crowd''': Oh! This is bad! :'''Enid''': K.O., this thing is really powerful. Yeah bud, maybe we should call Mr.-- mph! :'''K.O.''': ''[Shoves his Pow Card to Rad’s mouth]'' Heh. Trust me, guys, this will be easy for a level 100 like me. Just try not to get in the way. you really think this bucket of bolts will be able to stop me? Heh. i stomped you once and I’ll stomp you again, Lord Buttman! :'''Crowd''': K.O.! K.O.! K.O.! K.O.! ''[Enid and Rad look at each other worriedly.]'' ===''SIbling Rivalry'' [1.07]=== ''[Shannon and Darrell come flying through the ceiling of Boxmore after being defeated by K.O., Read, and Enid and land before Boxman, sitting on his throne.]'' :'''Shannon and Darrell''': We're sorry, Father! We tried! :'''Lord Boxman''': Ah, yes. Tried. Tried and failed-- for the last time! :'''Darrell''': Oh, I bet we could fail way more times. :'''Shannon''': Quiet! ''[Shannon punches Darrell.]'' :'''Lord Boxman''': You do not need to try. You need to do! (sighs) I knew you two would fail me again today. So I created a new robot to succeed where you never could! Say hello to Raymond! ''[Boxman presses a button and a door opens, where a robot comes out.]'' :'''Raymond''': (laughs) Here comes... the player of the year! ''[Raymond makes a show off presentation with sports balls.]'' :'''Shannon''': Already hate him. :'''Raymond''': Hello, dearest brother and sister. Care for a friendly game of ball? :'''Shannon''': No, thanks. :'''Darrell''': Oh, I'm open! ''[Raymond hits Darrell with a ball, that bounces between him and Shannon, knocking both out.]'' :'''Raymond''': Of course, there is no game to be played, when there is just one player. :'''Lord Boxman''': Brilliant introduction, Raymond! So very rude! :'''Raymond''': Thank you, Coach Boxman. Of course it was brilliant! You are, after all, the master engineer behind this vessel of pure athleticism. ''[Raymond show Lord Boxman a rose and he jumps around excitedly.]'' :'''Shannon''':Totally just parlor tricks of a slimy amateur clown. :'''Raymond''': Father, I will make you proud by stealing a letter from the Gar's Bodega sign. Then no one will know they're a store. Their profits will plummet, and with that, they forfeit the business game. :'''Lord Boxman''': I love it! ''[Shannon and Darrell gasp in surprise.]'' :'''Lord Boxman''': Raymond, you're my favorite. I've always loved you. And I wish you two could be more like him. ''[Shannon and Darrell roll out of scene in pain.]'' :'''Lord Boxman''': Let us go, Raymond, and equip you with strong weapons. :'''Raymond''': (laughs) Yes! Hole in one. ''[Shannon and Darrell are shown in graves and pop out of them.]'' :'''Shannon''': This is all your fault, glass brain! Now Father hates me. :'''Darrell''': Oh, yeah, right! He hates me more. But he loves Raymond so much more than both of us. :'''Shannon''': Raymond is gonna fail anyways. But he won't fail as spectacularly as you! :'''Darrell''': Say that again, you orange mushroom head! ''[Shannon and Darrell slap each other.]'' ===''I Am Dendy'' [1.08]=== ''[K.O. is helping Dendy, a shy kappa girl from his class, find the parts needed to repair her hack-pack. They arrive at an arcade.]'' :'''K.O.''': Here we are! :'''Dendy''': A token machine? :'''K.O.''': We’re just .25 technos away from your cotton pooter disc. Lemme just grab a coin! ''[While opening his pocket, some moths fly out.]'' No! My moth collection! No, come back! ''[Dendy opens the back of the token machine.]'' Uhh! ''[Catches the moth]'' Gotcha, you little scamp! Guess we’ll need another way-- ''[Dendy moves a wire.]'' Dendy? Dendy?! ''[Tokens start spewing out of the machine.]'' Whoa, guess we didn’t need coins after all. :'''Dendy''': These tokens should meet our needs. :'''K.O.''': You’re always a step ahead of people, huh? :'''Dendy''': I do walk quickly, yes. :'''K.O.''': No, I mean, like, you kinda just do things in your own way. It’s kinda weird! But it’s kinda really cool, too? :'''Dendy''': ''[Smiles]'' Now, the final item I need is a glorb. ''[Shows hologram]'' The simplest course of action would be to return to the roboto barber, tear open his interior circuits and extract it by force. :'''K.O.''': Whoa, wait! You can’t hurt Mr. Logic! :'''Dendy''': Oh, but how do we acquire a glorb without a robot? :'''K.O.''': Well, we fight a ton of bad robots around here, and after, we toss ‘em in an alley out back! :'''Dendy''': Hmm. Very well. To the alloy! :'''K.O.''': Alley. :'''Dendy''': To the alley! Ok crying ===''Do You Have Any More in the Back?'' [1.09]=== ''[Rad is leading K.O. and Enid through the maze-like back room of the store and have gotten lost.]'' :'''K.O.''': I can’t even tell what direction we started from! :'''Rad''': You don’t gotta worry about that with me guiding ya! ''[Passes through vines]'' Watch your head. :'''K.O.''': Oh. (chuckles) :'''Enid''': Uh, vines? Rad, are you sure this is the right-- Hey! Check out these Gloops! ''[Gloops, small blob-like creatures, are slithering on the ground.]'' :'''K.O.''': Weird! :'''Enid''': Hey, Rad, is it okay to touch these things?! :'''Rad''': Sure. ''[Enid pokes a Gloop with a stick and the stick instantly disintegrates.] '' :'''Enid''': Ooh! (screams) What the heck, dude?! I almost lost my favorite hand! :'''Rad''': Oh! I thought you meant, uh, emotionally touch-- like tell it a sad story or something. Yeah, you shouldn’t physically touch these things. :'''K.O.''': Wow! Rad really knows his stuff! ===''My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad!'' [1.10]=== ''[K.O. is looking at the food at Burrito Beardo’s and is drooling.]'' :'''Beardo''': All right, all right, all right. ''[Starts handing the food to the customers]'' We got one order of the Joe and Macaroni, one Sypros Platter, and one Gnocchi Gnocchi Panic. ''[The customers receive their food and head off.]'' :'''K.O.''': Man, it all looks so delicious. ''[Rad eats his Dragon Dragon Burrito.]'' :'''Rad''': I recommend the Dragon Dragon Burrito. ''[Burps out dragons]'' :'''K.O.''': (laughs) I really want to try that, but the burgs and potato wedges also look really good. Hmm. :'''Chameleon Jr.''': (clears throat) ''[K.O. turns around to see the Lizard Gang waiting in line. Chameleon Jr. looks at his watch and sighs. The titlecard appears.]'' :'''K.O.''': So, wedges, I think. Oh, maybe-- :'''Chameleon Jr.''': (clears throat loudly) Hmph! Take your time. It’s cool. It’s not like anybody is waiting. :'''K.O.''': Ah, thank goodness. I was worried I was taking too long. :'''Chameleon Jr.''': Great. We got a real genius here. ''[The Lizard Gang laughs]'' :'''K.O.''': Aww! Thanks for the compliment. ''[The Lizard Gang laughs again]'' :'''Rad''': Dude, K.O., you’re not getting complimented. You’re getting zinged. :'''K.O.''': (gasps) What? No! What should I do? :'''Rad''': Zing him back. A true hero never backs down. They fight fire… ''[Eats the burrito and breathes fires]'' with fire. :'''K.O.''': Even firefighters? :'''Rad''': Yes. They use blowtorches. ''[K.O. faces the Lizard Gang and one of them taps Chameleon Jr. to look at him.]'' :'''Chameleon Jr.''': (chuckles) What are you looking at, neeeeeeeeeeeeerd? ''[The NERD text shoots out from his mouth while K.O. dodges it.]'' (laughs) :'''K.O.''': Well, it takes one to know one! ''[K.O. shoots out text from his mouth hitting Chameleon Jr.]'' :'''Chameleon Jr.''': Oh yeah? ''[Shouts out text once more]'' :'''K.O.''': ''[Punches the YEAH text]'' Yeeeeeaaah! ''[The Yeah text pushes Chameleon’s Jr.’s gang.]'' (sighs) :'''Chameleon Jr.''': (growls) Oh, it’s on, now. I challenge you to a clash of fists! :'''K.O.''': Bring on the fire, jerko. I’ll torch you like a creme brulee. :'''Beardo''': (laughs) :'''Rad''': Nice. :'''Chameleon Jr.''' (growls) Have a taste of my sticky tongue. ''[K.O. dodges his sticky tongue,and it gets stuck on Beardo’s truck.]'' Ohhhhhhh. Oof! ''[His tongue unsticks and slaps him in the face, turning him pink.]'' :'''Rad, Beardo, and K.O.''': (laughs) :'''Chameleon Jr.''': (growls) Well, m-m-my dad can beat up your dad! :'''K.O.''': (laughs) Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can… My dad can… I don’t have a dad. ''[Beardo laughs and stops while Rad coughs on his burrito.]'' :'''K.O.''': But I have a mom that can beat up anybody! :'''Beardo''': Whew. :'''Chameleon Jr.''': Then it’s on. 3:00 sharp, roof of the plaza. :'''K.O.''': We’ll be there. My mom is gonna love this. ''[The scene cuts to Carol.]'' :'''Carol''': I hate this, K.O.. I am very disappointed in you. You’re grounded. ===''You Get Me'' [1.11]=== ''[Enid has been turned to stone and K.O. has told Rad and Mr. Gar about it. Unfortunately, they don't see anything wrong with her.]'' :'''K.O.''': [thinking] They didn't realize Enid's been turned to stone! Why? (gasps) Could it be that I'm the only one that gets her after all? Alright, this is my change to prove that I can be an Enid-getter, and a go-getter! Time to get help, and turn her back to normal. ''[Scene cuts to Dendy running some tests on Enid.]'' :'''K.O.''': Thanks again for coming, Dendy. I just knew that I could count on you to have some super-smart way to get to the bottom of this! :'''Dendy''': It is my pleasure, K.O. I will metaphorically leave no stone unturned. :'''K.O.''': (laughs) And literally, too, right? :'''Dendy''': What? Ooo, oooh, the results are printing. Hmm... Mmm-hmm... Mmm-hm. Well, K.O, it would appear as if your friend has been turned into steatite. :'''K.O.''': Huh? :'''Dendy''': It is also known as soapstone. It is commonly used by novice sculptors to practice carving techniques because of its relative softness. :'''K.O.''': I know that! I mean, I didn't know what kind of a rock, and that is super interesting, but what I was rally hoping for was to turn her back from rock to person. :'''Dendy''': Ohhhh... I don't really do... that. :'''K.O.''': Noooo! I can't help her. And no one else thinks they need to help her. How is she ever going to come back? :'''Dendy''': I don't know anything about Enid's predicament. Or giving emotional counsel. I am sorry K.O. See you at school tomorrow! ===''You Are Rad'' [1.12]=== ''[Rad has accused K.O. of trying to impersonate him, so Rad gives him a series of challenges to prove to everyone that K.O. isn't the real Rad. It's now down to the final challenge, a rap battle.]'' :'''K.O.''': Rap battle? Are we supposed to punch each other with rhymes? :'''Rad''': More or less. Gimme a beat, Enid! :'''Enid''': No, thanks. :'''Rad''': Aw, man, come on. :'''Enid''': (sighs) Fine. ''[Puts on her DJ outfit and flips the counter to her DJ set. Plays music.]'' :'''Rad''': Yeah, I can work with that. All right, imposter, get ready, ‘cause this ends here. ''[Rapping]'' :♪Ohh, I’m the extraterrestrial, emphasis on extra♪ :♪My skin is blue because I come from Planet X, bruh♪ :♪If you step on this, you gonna get creamed♪ :♪If you outta line, you gonna get laser beamed♪ :♪Arms ripped, afro poofy♪ :♪Ears tipped, you goofy♪ :♪Liftin’ and pumpin’ and crushin’ the weights♪ :♪Don’t be surprised when I thrash you♪ :♪Movin’ and settin’ and stackin’ the crates♪ ''[Uses his powers to move the crates]'' :♪And you ain’t nothin’ but trash, do♪ ''[Throws K.O. into the crate “trash”]'' :♪You lookin’ foolish♪ :♪You ain’t the real me♪ :♪I am the true Rad♪ :♪I know you feel me♪ :♪He is Radicles♪ :♪Ain’t nobody ever wanna mess with me♪ :♪I said he is Radicles♪ :♪I ain’t got time for no identity thief♪ ''[Drops mic]'' :'''Enid''': Hey! Careful with my gear! :'''Rad''': ''[Picks up mic]'' Sorry, Enid. :'''Enid''': That’s right you are. :'''K.O.''': Uh, Enid, do you know “Wash Your Hands”? :'''Enid''': I’ll see what I can do, K.O.. Knock em dead! ''[Replaces a disk with a new one. Plays a new song.]'' :'''K.O.''': Oh, cool. All right, here goes nothin’. ''[Rapping]'' :♪Well, I’m Radicles and I’m here to say♪ :♪I learned a lot about myself today♪ ''[Takes out notepad]'' :♪I’m a yoga guy with a yoga mat♪ :♪Don’t believe it, ask the kids I babysat♪ :♪Sharks and bees ain’t where it’s at♪ :♪I rather snuggle up with a kitty cat♪ :♪I like to burp and I like to toot♪ :♪But deep inside, I’m really cute♪ :♪Wash your hands, wash your hands♪ :♪It’s a good idea to wash your hands♪ :'''Drupe''': (snickers) :'''K.O.''': ♪Lather ‘em up with a little bit of soap♪ :♪Wash your hands, don’t be a dope♪ :'''Rad''': ''[Grabs mic from K.O.]'' Listen, imposter. I don’t babysit or do yoga, and I definitely don’t like snuggling kittens. :'''K.O.''': I don’t understand. That all seems like cool stuff to me. :'''Rad''': But Rad would never find that stuff cool. And even if he did, Rad wouldn’t be ready to share those things about himself. If you really were Rad, you’d know that. :'''K.O.''': Oh. Gah! You got me! All that stuff I rapped about was lies. I was, uh, trying to embarrass you. Yeah. Isn’t that what rapping battles are all about? :'''Rad''': I guess. Uh, yeah! Yeah, you’re right! :'''K.O.''': Well, I guess my little plan didn’t work. You’re the real Rad-- ''[Hands name tag to Rad and puts it on]'' tough, cool, and totally one-dimensional. :'''Enid''': ''[Record scratches]'' All right, I’m bored. Everybody out. ''[Her DJ set turns back to a counter; she changes her outfit and listens to her music.]'' ===''Just Be a Pebble'' [1.13]=== ''[At Gar's Hero Supply & Bodega, K.O. is struggling to put a box on the shelf. Rad passes by with a forklift and stops.]'' :'''K.O.''': (groans, sighs) Rad, I'm too small! :'''Rad''': Why not try some of this candy? ''[Throws the candy to K.O.]'' Just got 'em in. Check out the wrapper. ''[K.O. catches the candy]'' It's a little guy turning into a big guy. So they'll probably make you big. :'''K.O.''': Big? :'''Rad''': Not that I ever need that junk, though. (chuckles) 'Cause I'm so huge already. :'''K.O.''': I trust you, big friend! ''[Eats the candy]'' ''[Nothing happens.]'' :'''Rad''': Well, that was a du--. ''[K.O. grows into the same height as Rad.]'' :'''K.O.''': Whoo! ''[Picks up the box and places it on the shelf.]'' Wow, just like that. :'''Rad''': I can't believe that actually worked. ''[Leaves]'' :'''K.O.''': This is perfect. So maybe I'm not a Gargantuan, but I'm definitely more than Megahugeman. And that's good enough for me. ''[Looks at the packages of the candy.]'' :'''Rad''': ''[Reads a magazine and gets startled of K.O.'s growing limbs]'' Aah! :'''Enid''': ''[On her phone and also gets startled of K.O.'s growing limbs]'' Aah! Rad, what the heck is going...? K.O.? ''[K.O. grows to become a giant and eventually damages the roof of the store.]'' Whoa. I am not cleaning this up. :'''K.O.'''; ''[Waves at Enid]'' Hi, Enid, I'm big now! ''[A pteradactyl slams onto his hand.]'' Whoops! (blows) ''[Pteradactyl squawks]'' Sorry! :'''Rad''': Looking good, buddy! :'''Enid''': He may look good, but we won't when Mr. Gar sees his store is destroyed. :'''Rad''': Oh, good point. Never mind, K.O. You look like crud! :'''Enid''': ''[Covers Rad's mouth with her hand]'' K.O., why are you so big? :'''K.O.''': (chuckles) I ate some of this weird candy. ''[Drops a bunch of candy.]'' Green ones make you big. :'''Enid''': Uh, is there one that can make you small again? :'''Rad''': Yeah. I don't know about that. None of these look super-promising. :'''K.O.''': Don't worry, guys. I won't be needing to get small again. That's the old K.O. Now I'm finally what I've wanted to be ever since I was little-- just this morning-- ''[Stretches his arms and jumps up and damage the roof once more.]'' Huge! ===''Presenting Joe Cuppa'' [1.14]=== ''[K.O. is helping Joe Cuppa, a washed up comedian, regain his confidence by working alongside him in the bodega. But, Joe is discouraged.]'' :'''K.O.''': Yeah, maybe working here isn’t the right thing to help you right now. :'''Joe Cuppa''': ''[His work vest disappears with flames]'' Oh. ''[Alarm goes off]'' Huh? What’s going on?! :'''K.O.''': ''[carries Joe Cuppa]'' You’re gonna love this! Nothing cheers me up more than beating up bad guys! ''[Throws him out the window.]'' ''[Rad, K.O., and Enid exit and prepare to battle.]'' :'''Enid''': Psst, Joe. Prepare to intimidate. ''[Joe is shown wearing only underwear lying on the ground.]'' :'''Joe Cuppa''': Like this? (chuckles) :'''Enid''': Intimidate not intimate! ''[A Boxmore box drops on the ground, marked "Shannon 2.0". It opens up to reveal Shannon. She gets off her throne.]'' :'''Shannon''': Welcome, plazoids! It’s me-- Shannon! :'''Enid''': Yeah, we know it’s you, Shannon. :'''Rad''': You can’t say welcome! You came here! Plus , you’re not welcome, like, at all. Go away. :'''Shannon''': ''[chuckles]'' I’m welcoming you… ''[releases her weapons]'' TO YOUR DEMISE! :'''Joe Cuppa''': Whoa! Would you look at the time. :'''Shannon''': ''[Holds her blade in front of Joe Cuppa]'' Hold up! Is this a new addition to your little ensemble? ''[Stretches her head out]'' Looks a little… ''pathetique.'' ''[Joe Cuppa whimpers]'' He fits right in! ''[transforms into a hammer and smashes the ground.]'' :'''Enid, K.O., and Rad''': Whoa! ''[Joe Cuppa fell to the ground with coffee spilled.]'' Joe?! :'''Shannon''': Hold that pose! ''[takes pictures]'' I gotta show H.Q. how hard I am crushing you right now. :'''Joe Cuppa''': ''[sighs]'' Listen, guys, I’m just your average Joe. I ain’t got powers like you. I’m no hero, that’s for sure. :'''Rad''': No powers?! Pfff! ''[looks into Joe Cuppa’s head.]'' There’s gotta be something in th-- ''[finds a mouth and screams]'' Oh, ''that’s'' where your mouth is! That’s super disgusting! ===''We've Got Pests'' [1.15]=== {{Section-stub}} ===''Legends of Mr. Gar'' [1.16]=== ''[Darrell is shown spray painting the words "smells bad" under the Lakewood Plaza Turbo sign, so it reads "Lakewood Plaza Turbo smells bad".]'' :'''Darrell''': (laughs maniacally) :'''Enid''': You're going down, Darrell! ''[Darrell is thrown off of his ladder and falls to the ground. K.O., Rad, Enid, and Mr. Gar surround him.]'' :'''Mr. Gar''': You've messed with the plaza for the last time, bucket of bolts! And you can send that message to Lord Boxman! :'''Enid''': First class! :'''Rad''': Signed, sealed, and delivered! :'''K.O.''': Yeah! In an envelope! ''[K.O. puts an envelope in a mailbox and then it shoots it out in Darrell's face.]'' :'''Mr. Gar''': Thanks for the backup on that trash talk, team. ---- ''[After Mr. Gar has defeated Darrell, K.O., Rad, and Enid are laying on their backs in amazement at the battle.]'' :'''K.O.''': Our boss is the dang coolest. :'''Rad''': Uh huh. :'''Enid''': Totally. :'''Mr. Gar''': Don't just lay there impressed! Drop and give me twenty! ''[The trio is thrown on their heads by Mr. Gar's voice and fall back.]'' :'''K.O.''': Uh, twenty whats, sir? :'''Mr. Gar''': Twenty...everything! ''[K.O., Rad, and Enid start doing various exercises]'' :'''K.O., Rad, and Enid''': 1, 2. 1, 2. 1, 2... ''[Mr. Gar stares on, impressed]'' ---- ''[In Enid's flashback of her first day of work, Mr. Gar has just heard a customer's complaint and is showing Enid how to deal with him.]'' :'''Enid''': M-Mr. Gar, I-- :'''Mr. Gar''': Enid, I'm gonna teach you a very important lesson. :'''Skateboard Nerd''': (chuckles) Yeah! That the customer is always-- Huh? ''[Mr. Gar suddenly grabs the Skateboard Nerd and holds him up to his face]'' :'''Mr. Gar''': '''''We're all out of wheel polish!! Sorry we can't help you!! Thank you for shopping at Gar's!!''''' ''[Enid is shown with her mouth open in shock]'' ---- ''[Crinkly Wrinkly just finished telling K.O., Rad, and Enid a far-fetched tale about Mr. Gar]'' :'''Enid''': Well, that was a bunch of drivel. :'''Rad''': Obviously a fabrication. :'''K.O.''': Ha! Amazing! :'''Enid''': K.O., you probably shouldn't listen to Crinkly Wrinkly. :'''K.O.''': Why's that? :'''Enid''': (points off-screen) Well... ''[Crinkly Wrinkly is shown looking at himself in a mirror, mistaking his reflection for another person]'' :'''Crinkly Wrinkly''': Who's that?! You got a cane just like mine! (chuckles) ===''Know Your Mom'' [1.17]=== {{Section-stub}} ===''We're Captured'' [1.18]=== ''[Lord Boxman has K.O., Rad, and Enid suspended above a lava pit in his factory. He is also trying to have dinner with Professor Venomous and is at odds at what to do with the trio.]'' :'''K.O.''': So, you're gonna let us go? ''[Him and his friends smile hopefully]'' :'''Lord Boxman''': No. I'm just gonna have to wait until after dinner, like a mint-- a punish-mint. ''[Shannon is heard singing a song to entertain Professor Venomous and Fink.]'' :'''Shannon''': ♪When you're climbing up a ladder♪ :♪And you feel a little splatter, dia--♪ :'''Lord Boxman''': Nooooo!! ''[runs off to stop her]'' ---- ''[Lord Boxman, Professor Venomous, and Fink are sitting down for dinner. Fink pokes at her burnt food.]'' :'''Professor Venomous''': Don't play with your food. :'''Fink''': (growls) But it tastes like foo foo! :'''Lord Boxman''': (laughs nervously) I think it's time for a toast. To the loveliest and most bestest client in the whole wide world-- Professor Venomous! ''[Fink holds up a sign depicting an ear of corn, meaning that Boxman's speech is corny.]'' :'''Lord Boxman''': Whose mastery of bio-engineering is unparalleled and-- ''[Darrell suddenly appears at the table wearing a sailor suit.]'' and a true inspiration to-- Get out of here, Darrell!! (chuckles nervously) ---- :'''Professor Venomous''': You had better have a good explanation for this. :'''Fink''': Yeah! Coconut cream?! What were you thinking?! :'''Lord Boxman''': Professor, I-I— I… Ooooohh! I’ll destroy those brats for ruining dessert! :'''Shannon''': Oh! Are we destroying brats? :'''Darrell''': Are having dessert? [A pie is thrown at him] Ugh! [Lord Boxman catches him] Thanks, Dad. [Lord Boxman bends him] Ooh! ''[Shannon laughs as Lord Boxman takes her arm one by one. K.O., Enid, and Rad continues throwing pies as Lord Boxman builts a cannon. He catches the pies]'' :'''Enid''': Uh, guys, we’re tapped. :'''Lord Boxman''': [Rips his coat and shirt and puts his tie around his head] And now you’re trapped! [Fires the pies which pelts the gang] :'''Enid''': Ugh! :'''Professor Venomous''': Boxman! :'''Lord Boxman''': Oh! Professor, please! I-I can explain! I can explain! I can— I can— Okay, I can’t explain. But this was not the way it was supposed— :'''Professor Venomous''': [Covers his mouth] May I? :'''Lord Boxman''': Oh… yes. By all means. ''[Enid, K.O., and Rad struggles to get out]'' :'''Professor Venomous''': Dinner parties are just so… stuffy. [Loads the bazooka] But vanquishing heroes— now, that’s much more exciting! :'''Fink''': [On top of the bazooka] Fire! ''[The last pie launches the gang out of Boxmore]'' :'''Fink''': [Laughs] [Falls off] Whoa! Oof! :'''Professor Venomous''': I have to be honest, Boxman. I agreed to come tonight with plans to sever our business relationship after dinner. :'''Lord Boxman''': [Voice breaking] What?! :'''Professor Venomous''': You seemed too distracted lately. Though, now I understand why that was. Hard to find folks who value the sport in squashing heroes. And if all your robots can be as fun as this one, then I’ll gladly order 1,000 of them! :'''Lord Boxman''': You… still… want my robots? You still… [Whimpers] …want me? ''[Professor Venomous chuckles. Lord Boxman laughs and gives Professor Venomous a hug]'' :'''Lord Boxman''': Just… Big hug! [Thinking] Oh, Boxy! You really can have it all. [Fink triggers a punching glove to him] Waughhhh! ''[Fink laughs. The next scene shows the gang still in pie trap]'' :'''K.O.''': W-What is this? :'''Enid''': It’s called “losing.” :'''Rad''': Would a loser get to travel the open air in a vehicle made of delicious pie? I don’t think so. [Eats the pie] ===''Face Your Fears'' [1.19]=== ''[Read and K.O. are trying to get Mr. Gar's attention.]'' :'''Rad and K.O.''': Mr. Gar, Mr. Gar! :'''Mr. Gar''': Huh?! :'''Rad''': There's this new game at the arcade called "The Face of Fear". It makes you face your biggest fears, and adjusts your fear resistance stat depending on how well you do! Look how fearless we've become. ''[shows Mr. Gar his and K.O.'s Pow Cards]'' :'''Mr. Gar''': 10? 15? (growls) You kids and your videos game, pah! I never needed some cockamamie machine to help me face my own fears. :'''K.O.''': What's your fear resistance, Mr. Gar? I bet it's pretty high. :'''Mr. Gar''': I haven't checked in a while, it's probably through the roof by now... ''[pulls out his Pow Card and checks his stats]'' It's...8?! :'''Rad, K.O., and Enid''': 8?! :'''Mr. Gar''': This is absurd! I-I guess I haven't updated it in a while... Not since I left P.O.I.- (laughs nervously) What I mean to say was, there'd be no ''point'' in me checking, since I'm impervious to fear. Heh, heh. :'''Enid''': Then I ''guess'' you wouldn't be afraid of playing the game and updating your info? :'''Mr. Gar''': Heh... ===''Everybody Likes Rad?'' [1.20]=== ''[Rad is filming an internet video.]'' :'''Rad''': Rad rocket’s on the roof and ready to roll. ''[Launches a rocket]'' Blorp! ''[Face plants on his camera]'' Rad rocket’s on the roof-- ''[Enid is shown watching the video.]'' :'''Enid''': (laughs) :'''Rad on video''': Blorp! :'''Enid''': (laughs harder) ''[Titlecard appears]'' ''[continues laughing as she shows the video to K.O.]'' :'''Rad on video''': Rad rocket’s on the roof and ready to roll. Blorp! :'''K.O.''': ''[Drops his broom]'' Oh, no! Rad, you accidentally forgot to cut out the part where you fall through the roof! :'''Rad''': ''[On the roof]'' Are you kidding? ''[levitates off the roof]'' Whoa! This video is a work of art, K.O.. Every detail is perfect. The setup, the unexpected nature of the fall, the way the rocket launch gets cut off at the end… Mwah! You couldn’t plan something that good. :'''Enid''': I got to hand it to you, Rad. I can’t not share this. :'''Rad''': See, K.O.? The joke may be on me, but it’s still my joke. [A part of the roof fall on him.] Blorp! :'''K.O.''': Rad! :'''Enid''': (laughs) You’re on a roll today. ''[K.O. picks up the debris to find Rad’s head.]'' :'''Rad''': Please tell me you got that on video. ===''You Have to Care'' [1.21]=== ''[Crowd is outside making noise. K.O. and Rad looks out.]'' :'''K.O.''': What’s that?! :'''Rad''': Whoa! ''[A pink war tank approaches. Shoots out Elodie]'' :'''Elodie''': Greetings, Lakewood Plaze! Elodie has arrived! :'''Crowd''': Elodie! Elodie! ''[Elodie shoots her arrow which makes signatures on the crowd]'' :'''Brandon''': Sign my chest! ''[The arrow land on the window]'' :'''K.O.''': Wow! It’s really Elodie. ''[gets his Elodie Pow Card out]'' She goes to POINT Prep Academy. They only allow the best of the best. Gee. I want to apply there someday. :'''Enid''': Huh? ''[slides off the counter and wears a disguise and read a magazine]'' ''[The crowd follows Elodie]'' :'''Elodie''': Thank you. Just passing through my favorite hero shop to sign some autographs! ''[A photographer shoots a picture of K.O., Elodie, and Rad. Enid is in the background]'' :'''Elodie''': ''[sees Enid in the photo]'' (gasps) ''[Tosses the photo]'' Enid. :'''Enid''': Elodie. :'''Elodie''': Is this what you’ve been up to all this time? Oh, how... quaint. ''[Crowd grabs her as they chant her name]'' Well, toodles! ''[Rad and K.O. point back and forth]'' :'''Enid''': Grrrr! (gags) I’m taking a break. I’ll be out back. ''[she vanishes and a log with shades takes her place]'' :'''K.O.''': Rad, do you know what’s going on? :'''Rad''': Almost never. :'''K.O.''': Something’s wrong with Enid. Elodie showed up, and she started acting all funny. :'''Rad''': Well, there’s only one way to find out. We just got to ask her until she tells us. Trust me, K.O.. Subtlety is my middle name. ''[enters the break room]'' Hey, Enid! What’s the deal with you and Elodie?! ''[Enid smacks him offscreen]'' Unh! ''[he crashes into a pile of boxes while a small dinosaur appears]'' :'''K.O.''': ''[Thinking]'' Hmm. Maybe it’d be better to ask Elodie about this. ===''Plaza Prom'' [1.22]=== ''[K.O. is serving drinks at the Plaza Prom.]'' :'''K.O.''': Drink, sir? Drink, ma’am? Ma’am, would you like a drink? ''[Sees Carol looking attractive]'' Whoooa! ''[Throws the drinks away]'' You look so beautiful! :'''Carol''': Ha! You gonna give me the honor of a dance sometime tonight? :'''K.O.''': I gotta get back to work. ''[Mr. Gar pants and sweats. Drinks the whole punch.]'' :'''Colewort''': ''[Grabs a cup but puts it back]'' Huh? Oh. :'''Carol''': You serve those appetizers! :'''Mr. Gar''': ''[Slides through Carol’s sight]'' Hello, Carol. How you-- are you doing? :'''Carol''': I’m pretty good. Enjoying yourself? :'''Mr. Gar''': ''[Strained]'' Hello, Carol. How are you doing? :'''Carol''': Uhh, are you okay, Gene? :'''Mr. Gar''': ''[Straining more]'' Hello, Carol. How are you doing? :'''Carol''': ''[Walks away]'' Oh, boy. ''[Mr. Gar pants]'' ===''Second First Date'' [1.23]=== ''[Cupid, a large muscular man, has just magically appeared in the bodega]'' :'''Cupid''': Love conquers all. :'''Rad and Enid''': Cupid?! :'''Cupid''': Two people in this room have unresolved romantic tension. ''[Cupid gets ready to fire a heart-shaped bazooka]'' :'''Rad and Enid''': (gasps) ''[They duck and K.O. moves out of the way as the blast creates a heart-shaped hole in the shelves and back wall. Potato and Colewort stand up from one of the shelves]'' :'''Potato''': Actually, we're just taking things slow. :'''Cupid''': Nobody cares! ''[Rad and Enid are trying to tiptoe out of the store, when Cupid stops them]'' :'''Cupid''': It's you two I'm here for. What's your deal?! :'''Enid''': (chuckles) Me and Rad? (laughs) Never. Pssh. :'''Rad''': Never?! That's a funny way to say, "That one time". :'''Enid''': You know as well as I do that middle school dating is stricken from the record! :'''K.O.''': What?! Slow down. You guys dated? Each other?! :'''Enid''': It was just one date, K.O. (sighs) It was a long time ago. ===''One Last Score'' [1.24]=== {{Section-stub}} ===''T.K.O.'' [1.25-26]=== :'''Darrell''': Get ready for an extra-special beatdown! :'''K.O.''': [Grunts] Powerfist! No! ''[Darrell punches K.O. when Rad catches him]'' :'''Rad''': Need a hand, kiddo? :'''K.O.''': Rad! You’re— :'''Rad''': I know, I know. I’m your knight in shining armor. The best of the best. The biceps and the triceps… ''[Enid dashes through to fight Darrell but Darrell shields himself. Enid finally crashes Darrell sending him flying]'' :'''Enid''': Hyah! Hyah! [Darrell falls to the ground] :'''Rad''': Show-off. :'''Enid''': Rad, you’re missing the action! :'''Rad''': [Sets K.O. down] All right, I’m coming. [Hovers] Yeesh. ''[Enid and Rad fights Darrell off-screen]'' :'''K.O.''': [Thinking] I spend all my time with cool heroes at the plaza now, but I’m still getting thrashed by Darrells? Why can’t I be strong like Rad and Enid? And how could I call myself a hero when I can’t even shoot a powerfist when I need it? ---- ''[Scene shows an exterior of the Bodega while an alarm is heard. Enid and Rad steps out of the Bodega. A Boxmore box falls from the sky, opening it revealing Darrell]'' :'''Darrell''': Miss me, losers? :'''Enid''': We didn’t miss you. We hit you. A lot. Remember? :'''Rad''': [Laughs] Whoa! Good one, Enid. Did you get that, K.O.? [Notices K.O. wasn’t in the shot] K.O.? :'''Enid''': Mnh-mm. :'''Darrell''': [Laughs] Oh, boy. I set you up for that one. It’s cool, though. ‘Cause this time… [Laughs] Oh, just wait. [Turns into a bigger version of himself] This time, I’m gonna get the last laugh! [Launches out several weapons to use] Pretty impressive, huh? Lucky for me, though, I won’t even need to pull punches. [Gets a car and smashes it] Once this cannon charges up, just one blast, and your precious plaza will be obliterated! [Fires up cannon] :'''Rad''': I think we might need to get some help for this one. :'''Enid''': We stay and fight. :'''Rad:''': [Chuckles nervously] That’s another joke, right? :'''Enid''': We’ll never make it back in time. Are you with me or not? :'''Rad''': Yeah. I’m with you. :'''Darrell''': This is it, Lakewood losers! [Enid and Rad prepares] Now… prepare to— [A mysterious figure slices Darrell in half and blows up] :'''Rad''': Whoa. [Darrell’s parts falls out and shows K.O.’s alter-ego form, T.K.O.] Dude! That was amazing! :'''Enid''': That’s putting it lightly. How did you do that, K.O.? ===''Stop Attacking the Plaza'' [1.27]=== ''[Ernesto enters a room where Darrell, Shannon, Raymond, and Jethro are playing a board game.]'' :'''Ernesto''': Hello, little ones. :'''Darrell''': Hey, Ernesto! Wanna join us? :'''Ernesto''': I'm just gonna take this downtime to reeelaaax. :'''Darrell''': Hmm, yeah. We haven't gotten any orders from Dad in a while. :'''Ernesto''': Yeah, he mentioned something about not attacking the plaza for 24 hours or he'll get fired. ''[starts reading newspaper]'' Shame. :'''Darrell, Shannon, and Raymond''': (gasps) :'''Darrell''': 24 hours?! :'''Shannon''': That's... :'''Raymond''': Terrible! :'''Darrell''': Poor Dad! Maybe we should go check on him. Make sure he's okay? :'''Shannon and Raymond''': Yeah. ---- ''[Lord Boxman and his robots are trying to have a family dinner, but Boxman is getting annoyed.]'' :'''Lord Boxman''': ENOUGH! Why are you all acting so...strange? ''[Darrell, Shannon, and Raymond look at one another.]'' :'''Darrell''': Well, we know you're not allowed to attack the plaza for a whole day. :'''Darrell, Shannon, and Raymond''': You must be truly hurting inside. :'''Lord Boxman''': Stop! What are you trying to say here? That I'm obsessed?! That I have a...problem? ''[A thought bubble depicting the plaza appears next to Boxman; he waves it off.]'' :'''Shannon''': Uh, well, yeah. I mean, isn't attacking the plaza kinda, heh, the sole reason we exist? :'''Raymond''': That is true. :'''Ernesto''': You got a point there. :'''Darrell''': Yeah, yeah, I mean, come on. :'''Lord Boxman''': Forget you guys! I don't have a problem! You know who has a problem? ''[points to Raymond]'' You with being nosy! I can, too, go a day without attacking the plaza! And I don't need your help to do it! I'll show you all! I'll show ''you''! And I'll show ''you''! And I'll definitely show ''you''... ''[He disappears through a trapdoor in the floor.]'' :'''Jethro''': ''[as he rolls by]'' I am Jethro! ---- ''[K.O. is busy mopping the floor, looking bored.]'' :'''K.O.''': (yawns) Man, it's sure been quiet, huh, guys? ''[Rad and Enid are shown sleeping in a bunk bed suspended from the ceiling. The store's door chime dings as Lord Boxman enters. Rad and Enid wake up and change into their normal outfits.]'' :'''K.O.''': Oh, finally, a custom-- aah! ''[The trio gets in fighting position.]'' :'''Enid''': What do you want, Boxman? :'''Lord Boxman''': You can put those away. :'''Enid''': ''[takes her foot back]'' Explain. ''[Boxman pulls out a paper and puts on glasses to read it.]'' :'''Lord Boxman''': Ahemp. (clears throat) Mi mi mi mi mi miiii. I, uh, Lord Boxman-- me, that is, hereby...vow...to-oo-oo-oo-oo... ''[High-pitched voice]'' stop attacking the plaza. ''[Normal voice]'' Wooow! ''[gets ready to leave]'' That felt great to get that off of my che-- :'''Rad''': ''[stops him]'' Wait a sec! Could you repeat that last part? :'''Lord Boxman''': D'oh! My bosses say that I can't go a day without attacking you. But! ''[holds up a countdown clock]'' Look at that! One minute left! :'''Rad''': Seriously? :'''Enid''': Oh, come on. It's 'cause you failed so many times, isn't it? :'''Lord Boxman''': Nooooo-uh! It's just-- It's driving me crazy and my bosses crazy. So there! Pbbt! :'''K.O.''': W-what happens if you did attack us? :'''Lord Boxman'''': I get fired and my business shuts down, why? :'''Enid''': (sarcastically) Oh, that's so sad. One moment. ''[The trio gets into a huddle.]'' If Boxman attacks us, he'll get fired and leave us alone! ''[They turn back towards him.]'' Fight me, Buttman! ''[They start poking and teasing him.]'' :'''K.O., Rad, and Enid''': Robots blow! :'''Enid''': Boxes...are terrible! :'''K.O.''': ''[hears something on the phone]'' What's that? The president of the universe says all boxes must be replaced with... :'''K.O., Rad, and Enid''': Best friends?! Friendship! Friendship! Friendship! Wow! Yayyyyyyyy! (laughing) ''[Lord Boxman looks like he's about to snap, but calmly takes a deep breath.]'' :'''Lord Boxman''': I have better things to do now than to waste time on you piddling fools. (chuckles) So long, clown babies! Boxman out. (howls) ''[goes outside]'' :'''Enid''': You know, maybe it's for the best. I mean, I don't wanna be the reason that Boxman loses his job. :'''Rad''': You're right, Enid. Even someone like him doesn't deserve unemployment, just 'cause he's a weird old man. :'''K.O.''': We are all very thoughtful and kind, even to our enemies. :'''Rad''': Bring it in for a big friend hug. ''[They hug.]'' :'''K.O.''': Mmm! Yay! ''[The alarm on Boxman's watch beeps, meaning that the 24 hour period is up.]'' :'''Lord Boxman''': (laughs evilly) You horrible little brats! ''[tips over a gumball machine]'' Ha-ha-ha-ha! You know what I hate? ''[knocks some jars off of a shelf]'' I-I hate your niceness! He-he. ''[gets up on the counter and spins around]'' Ooh, and I hate your friendliness! (chuckles) ''[Enid gags]'' I hate you kids! ''[kicks the store's rug]'' I hate this bodega! ''[kicks it again]'' I hate Lakewood Plaza Turbo! Bwahaha, yes I do! ''[runs off laughing hysterically]'' ---- ''[Lord Boxman is in his office with Ernesto.]'' :'''Ernesto''': Sounds like your meeting with Miss Cosma sure went well. You must be glad to be rid of that obsession of yours now, huh? :'''Lord Boxman''': You know, Ernesto 1701, I learned something interesting about myself in the last 24 hours. :'''Ernesto''': What's that, sir? :'''Lord Boxman''': I learned that I don't ''need'' to attack the plaza. ''[gets out a chest and opens it to reveal a button]'' (Evilly) I ''want'' to. ''[pushes the button five times]'' ''[Raymond, Darrell, Jethro, Shannon, and Ernesto appear at the plaza and attack K.O., Rad, and Enid.]'' :'''K.O., Rad, and Enid''': What the?! ''[The robots fight the trio.]'' :'''Lord Boxman''': Never gets old. ===''We've Got Fleas'' [1.28]=== ''[K.O. is unsuccessfully trying to fight Mikayla, an animalistic robot from Boxmore. Rad and Enid arrive in Rad's van and jump out.]'' :'''Enid''': Looks like our normal approach isn't working. :'''Rad''': She's too unpredictable. It's like fighting a wild animal. :'''K.O.''': (gasps) That's it! In times of need, the hero's noble animal companion always sweeps in to win the day! (whistles) Baby Teeth, come forth! ''[Baby Teeth is shown eating nachos in the store, turns, then goes back to eating. We cut back to K.O. with a tear in his eye.]'' :'''Enid''': Any other bright ideas? :'''K.O.''': Hmm. Well...maybe ''we'' could become animals. :'''Rad''': "Become" animals? How would we do that? ''[The van's door suddenly swings open, revealing Dendy.]'' :'''Dendy''': It's simple. You just need to be bitten by a were-animal. :'''K.O., Rad, and Enid''': Dendy! :'''Rad''': What were you doing in my van...? :'''Dendy''': (shows hologram explaining her speech) A were-animal's fangs secrete a special were-enzyme that activates the bitten's inner beast. :'''K.O.''': A...were-animal?! :'''Rad''': (chuckles) I think you mean, "Where ''is'' animal", K.O. :'''K.O.''': (laughs, snorts) Yeah, my bad. ''[Enid grabs Rad and K.O. by the hair to look in the distance]'' :'''Enid''': (looking at Crinkly Wrinkly asleep on a bench a few feet away) There animal! Let's get bit. :'''Rad and K.O.''': (nod) Hmm! ''[The trio runs up to Crinkly Wrinkly with their arms out and jumping.]'' :'''K.O., Rad, and Enid''': Come on! Bite us! Bite us! Bite us! Bite us! :'''Crinkly Wrinkly''': (wakes up, startled) Whaaat?! (wheezes) ''[The trio stops jumping]'' :'''Enid''': Look, I know it sounds strange, but I promise you it's for a good reason-- Owww! (she lifts her arm and Crinkly Wrinkly is biting down on it) Ugh! Get off me, you dusty little creep! ''[Enid shakes him off and he lands in K.O.'s hands]'' :'''Crinkly Wrinkly''': Why, thank ya, sonny! (bites K.O. on the nose) :'''K.O.''': (holds nose) Oww! :'''Rad''': (points and laughs) ''[Crinkly Wrinkly opens his mouth wide and bites down on Rad's outstretched hand]'' :'''Rad''': Aaaah! (throws him off) :'''Crinkly Wrinkly''': (lands on bottom) Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! I've been wanting to do that for ages! :'''Enid''': Wait, you ''wanted'' to bite us?! :'''Rad''': Ew! :'''K.O.''': You weren't supposed to like it! :'''Enid''': (rubs her arm in disgust) Ugh! Blek! :'''Rad''': That cannot be legal. ''[Crinkly Wrinkly is suddenly on board a bus as it drives past the trio]'' :'''Crinkly Wrinkly''': Ho Ho Ho! Enjoy your cuuuuurse! :'''Enid''': Your garbage curse didn't even work, you dank old pillowcase!!! ''[Enid suddenly sprouts a rabbit's tail]'' :'''K.O.''': (points to her) Enid...you have a new ponytail! On your butt! :'''Enid''': (notices) Oh! Cute! But, I don't think it's a ponytail. It's more of a-- ''[Her ears change into rabbit ears, her nose turns pink, and she starts growing whiskers. Purple fur starts growing on her hands and arms, then her feet burst out of her shoes and become rabbit's feet.]'' :'''Enid''': (groans, grunts) A bunny! (wiggles her toes) It must be because I'm so... (jumps up in the air and clicks her heels) quick on my feet! :'''Rad''': Whoa, nice! If your inner animal is fast, then mine must be something totally macho. Like a classic werewolf! (starts growing fur and claws; sprouts a tail) Yeah! I can feel it! (rips shirt off, laughs, then gets a collar with a bell on it) Oh. A cat? Nice. Must be because I'm so... (licks his hand and arm, then slicks back his hair) cleaaan. :'''K.O.''': Wow! Wow, wow, wow! You guys look so cool! (sprouts a dog's tail) Ah! I can't wait to find out what I'm gonna be! :'''Enid and Rad''': A puppy! :'''Rad''': That is so K.O.! :'''Enid''': Of course he's a puppy! (pets K.O. on his head as he grows dog ears and fur) It's perfect, because he's such a good boy! :'''Rad''': (starts petting him too) Yeah, who's a good boy?! :'''K.O.''': Me! Me, me, me! :'''Enid and Rad''': Yes, you are! ''[Rad is suddenly tackled by Mikayla]'' :'''Enid''': (remembering) Oh, right. Mikayla. Time to use our animal powers to put this monkey business to an end. :'''Rad''': (while pinned to the ground by Mikayla) Ohhh, she's a monkey? I thought she was some kind of jaguar...guitar...lizard... ''[Rad is about to get scratched by Mikayla, only to get booted by Enid.]'' :'''Enid''': (as she zooms by) Whoooo cares? :'''Rad''': Well, I'm a little curious. ===''No More Pow Cards'' [1.29]=== ''[Dendy and K.O. have broken into the POW Card factory computer room and are being held by a pair of guards. Mr. Cardsley, the company owner, enters the room.]'' :'''Mr. Cardsley III''': Put them down, and back away. I’ll take it from here. :'''Guard''': ''[saluting]'' Yes, Mr. Cardsley III. [leaves] :'''Mr. Cardsley''': ''[to Dendy and K.O.]'' Now, now, it’s alright. Did you get lost? Tours are back out there, kids! :'''K.O.''': We are not here for no tour! Well, not today. Right, Dendy? :'''Dendy''': That is correct. :'''K.O.''': In fact, we got a bone to pick with you, mister! :'''Mr. Cardsley''': Is that so? Alright, I’m all ears. :'''K.O.''': Mr. Cardsley! All our lives we’ve loved Pow Cards! ''[pulls out his collection]'' See? :'''Mr. Cardsley''': Oh. Very nice. :'''K.O.''': But then, we found out you don’t let Kappas be recognized as heroes! And that’s the most messed up thing I ever heard! So fix it, (sobbing) plee-eee-ase. :'''Mr. Cardsley''': Well what’s there to fix? I mean, why in the world would Kappas need Pow Cards? :'''K.O.''': Be...cause! It’s bad to leave them out! Don’t be bad! :'''Mr. Cardsley''': And you’re asking we include them for...what, exactly? Drowning people? Honestly, I’ve never seen a Kappa do anything of significance. Heroic or otherwise, they’re just little monsters. And though we appreciate your feedback here at Pow Industries, this is the system we’ve used for decades. There’s no need to change a thing. :'''K.O.''': But can’t you see how much it upsets us?! :'''Mr. Cardsley''': (sighs) Look, I'm sorry you’re so upset, kid, but it’s the simple truth. :'''K.O.''': It’s nowhere near the truth! My friend Dendy here does great things all the time! And- and-! ...Do you even know any Kappas, Mr. Cardsley? :'''Mr. Cardsley''': I...uhhh...Guards! :'''Guards''': Yessir! :'''Mr. Cardsley''': Please escort these trespassers off the premises. :'''Guards''': Yessir! :'''K.O.''': Still? After all my tears? :'''Dendy''': Please wait...Once more. :'''Guards''': Aw, c’mon! Just...wanna cuff...so baa-aa-aad! ''[They roll away sobbing]'' :'''Dendy''': Mr. Cardsley. Have you ever considered the reason the world does not view Kappas as heroic is because we don’t have any heroes of our own to look up to? And for those that are out there doing something you’d call noteworthy, we’ll never get to notice, if your computer doesn’t, either. All I request is for us to be given a chance. :'''Mr. Cardsley''': (sighs) Fine. If you insist on learning the hard way. Carla! :'''Carla''': ''[gets brought down on a crane]'' Greetings, Mr. Cardsley! :'''Mr. Cardsley''': Carla, my trusty engineer. Can you temporarily allow the hero-puter to detect the Kappa species? :'''Carla''': I’d love to! Just gimme one minute… ''[A cord shoots from Dendy's hack-pack and connects to the computer.]'' Ooh! :'''Dendy''': Pardon, I’ve already written an override code for your system. :'''Carla''': I...just making sure you’re not trying any funny business! (chuckles) It would’ve taken me forever to write this code! Please, press away! ''[Dendy activates the override code. The computer beeps, but then the beeps die out.]'' :'''Mr. Cardsley''': Ohh. Sorry, kids. Like I said, Kappa- aaah! :'''Carla''': Wow! ''[Tons of Kappa suddenly appear on the world map shown on screen.]'' :'''Mr. Cardsley''': What the-? ''[picks up a new Pow Card]'' Hot hot hot hot hot! How can this be? I - was - wrong? I. Can’t. Process. I was - always told I’m right! I - ''[begins sucking his thumb]'' :'''Carla''': Oh, this is fantastic! Our database is flooded with new profiles! Sales have gone through the roof! A new market of Kappas are buying our Pow Cards in droves! This is the biggest sale in the history of the company, Mr. Cardsley! :'''Employee''': Sir! There’s no place to hold all the Technos! ''[Technos burst through the door. The group is swept away by them into the main hallway.]'' :'''Mr. Cardsley''': ''[to Dendy]'' Young lady. Dendy, was it? :'''Dendy''': Yes. :'''Mr. Cardsley''': Dendy, you’ve really taught me something here today. I thank you. And from now on, Pow Cards will recognize the heroic feats of Kappas across the globe! Grandfather would be proud...of how much money we’re making! ''[dives into the pile of Technos]'' Wheee-hee-hee! Woo hoo! ===''A Hero’s Fate'' [1.30]=== {{Section-stub}} ===''Let’s Have a Stakeout'' [1.31]=== {{Section-stub}} ===''Rad Likes Robots'' [1.32]=== {{Section-stub}} ===''KO's Video Channel'' [1.33]=== ''[Rad and Enid are watching one of K.O.'s online videos. K.O. is wearing a hoodie with Dendy standing in the background.]'' :'''K.O.''': Hi, guys. I'm here with a special guest, my friend, Dendy. (Dendy waves to camera) She says she has an amazing discovery to show you guys. ''[The scene cuts to Dendy staring into a room with her hands pressed on the window]'' :'''K.O.''': Where are we? Who-- Whose house is this? :'''Dendy''': Shh! Every morning at exactly 6:15... (gasps) It is happening! Get ready, K.O.! ''[Rad is shown in his underwear, scratching his butt, and levitating towards a pullup bar in the doorway]'' :'''K.O.''': This is Rad's house? ''[Dendy watches with a smile on her face as Rad does some pullups]'' :'''K.O.''': Dendy! :'''Rad''': (turns around) Huh? :'''Dendy''': Run! ''[The scene shows Dendy and K.O.'s feet as they run away]'' :'''Dendy''': (laughs) :'''K.O.''': Dendy, why? ''[Rad sits on the counter in shock at the video he had just watched, while Enid is on the floor laughing]'' :'''Enid''': (laughs) Did that one have enough Radicles for ya? (laughs) ===''The Power is Yours'' [1.34]=== ===''Glory Days'' [1.35]=== ===''Plazalympics'' [1.36]=== ===''Parents Day'' [1.37]=== ''[Rad and K.O. are driving around, trying to spy on Enid]'' :'''Rad''': Enid's house should be on this block. :'''K.O.''': (while looking through the glove compartment) How do you know where Enid lives? :'''Rad''': I took a look at her personnel file, that's how. :'''K.O.''': Hey! That's sneaky! :'''Rad''': Then I guess you don't want to know any super cool secret facts about Enid, like her favorite color? ''[K.O. tries to resist the curiosity, but can't]'' :'''K.O.''': Oh, what is it?! Green?! :'''Rad''': It's...purple. :'''K.O.''': Whoa! :'''Rad''': (stops the van, looks out the window) K.O., I think this is it! :'''K.O.''': Huh? ''[Enid is walking down the street, carrying a duffel bag]'' :'''K.O.''': (gasps) Look, here she comes! :'''Rad''': Wait, she's not stopping. :'''K.O.''': Where's she going? ''[Enid arrives at a spooky-looking house as thunder crashes overhead]'' :'''K.O. and Rad''': What? ''[Enid looks around before reaching into the duffel bag]'' :'''K.O. and Rad''': Wha?! ''[Enid pulls a witch's hat out of the duffel bag, puts it on, and is enveloped in a puff of purple smoke. When the dust settles, she is dressed as a witch.]'' :'''K.O. and Rad''': (scream) ''[Enid enters the house, leaving K.O. and Rad in shock]'' :'''K.O.''': Whoa! Enid's going trick-or-treating without us? :'''Rad''': (groans) ''[K.O. and Rad peek through a window to look for Enid]'' :'''K.O.''': Do you see Enid? ''[A bat flies into the room]'' :'''Rad''': Wait, look! ''[The bat changes into a woman and she fixes her hair]'' :'''Rad''': Enid's mom is...a hot vampire? ''[A purple-furred werewolf walks up to the woman and kisses her]'' :'''Rad''': And her dad is a hot werewolf? :'''K.O.''': Enid's parents are ninjas ''and'' monsters? :'''Rad''': I don't think they're ninjas. :'''K.O.''': But, why would Enid lie to us? :'''Enid''': (suddenly appearing at the window) 'Cause it's none of your business, you goons. :'''K.O. and Rad''': (scream) :'''Enid''': Shh! You guys need to get out of here. :'''K.O.''': You said your parents were busy ninjas, but they were just kissing and aren't ninjas. :'''Enid''': My family is embarrassing and I like to keep my private life private. So, you need to go before they see you and-- :'''Wilhamena''': (arrives at the window) Enid! You have guests! Please join us for dinner. ''[Enid shakes her head as she stares at her friends with skulls in her eyes, motioning for them to say no. K.O. and Rad look at each other.]'' :'''K.O. and Rad''': We'd love to! :'''Enid''': Grrrrrrrrr! ===''We Got Hacked'' [1.38]=== :'''K.O.''': Dendy! Dendy, Dendy, Dendy, Dendy! We got... we got problems! :'''Dendy''': Hmm. I understand your predicament. (pointing to Gar) Mr. Gar here is overcompensating for his receding hairline with muscles. :'''Mr. Gar''': (angrily) Hey! :'''Dendy''': (pointing to Rad) Rad is pretending to be super macho, even though he's a big softy. :'''Rad''': (embarrassed) Th-That's not true! :'''Dendy''': (pointing to the broken mop) We have a cleaning apparatus with a tacky design. ''[The mop deflates]'' :'''Dendy''': (pointing to Enid who is acting indifferent while picking her nose) Or perhaps, is it how Enid acts super cool because she's internally struggling with her identity. :'''Enid''': (embarrassed and puffing her cheeks out) Uh, uh, uh... Absolutely not! :'''Dendy''': Hmm. Ah, it must be- ''[Mr. Gar picks up Dendy]'' :'''Mr. Gar''': The dang mop is malfunctioning! ''[He drops her to the ground and walks off]'' ===''Back in Red Action'' [1.39]=== ===''Let's Take a Moment'' [1.40]=== ===''Villains' Night Out'' [1.41]=== ===''Villains' Night In'' [1.42]=== ===''Let's Watch the Pilot'' [1.43]=== ''[The episode starts off with montage of Crinkly Wrinkly interviewing a couple of guests.]'' :'''Announcer''': Welcome to “Stage Left,” with Crinkly Wrinkly. ''[Audience cheers and applause. Dynamite Watkins comes in to hit Crinkly Wrinkly with a chair. The titlecard appears. The cameraman gets ready for Dynamite Watkins to host.]'' :'''Dynamite Watkins''': I’m Dynamite Watkins! Your host for tonight-- :'''Crinkly Wrinkly''': My neck! :'''Dynamite Watkins''': For tonight’s highly-anticipated retrospective! Fans of the smash hit TV series, “OK K.O.: Let’s Be Heroes,” prepare to lose your cool! Joining us today is… Enid! ''[Enid comes onstage]'' Rad! ''[Comes onstage as well]'' :'''Rad''': Please donate to my charity-- Tiny Clothes for Tiny Dinos. :'''Dynamite Watkins''': And K.O.! ''[Audience cheers louder as he comes onstage]'' :'''Audience''': K.O.! K.O.! K.O.! :'''Dynamite Watkins''': Wow! ''[K.O. gives kisses]'' K.O. is clearly the crowd favorite. No surprise there. That kid’s a show-stealer! So, “OK K.O.” has taken the world by storm! It’s number one on every network. (Dramatically) And in all our hearts. Did you three ever expect it to become such an explosive success?! :'''Enid''': Well, I don’t know about the others, but from the very beginning, I could just, like, sense the material was really special, you know? :'''Rad''': Yeah, I have-- :'''Dynamite Watkins''': Well, that’s great. I’ve actually got a relic that can take us all back to the beginning you spoke of. The original pilot-- ''[shows the relic]'' "Lakewood Plaza Turbo"! :'''Enid, K.O., and Rad''': What?! :'''Dynamite Watkins''': That’s right-- the pilot! And I don’t mean the sap that flies your plane. ''[Displays what a pilot is]'' I’m talking a short sample episode that’s made to test the waters and see if it’s something people would want to watch more of. Right, K.O.? :'''K.O.''': Well, yeah, but… we’ve come a really long way since the pilot, and it’s not at all representative of our current work, so… :'''Dynamite Watkins''': Whoo, "Lakewood Plaza Turbo"! ''[Audience cheers and applause as the pilot starts airing.]'' :'''Announcer''': In the year, 201X, ''[Displays the robots of Boxmore]'' Lord Boxman opened a store to arm his robot hoard. ''[Cuts to Lakewood Plaza Turbo and the heroes preparing to fight]'' But the heroes of Lakewood Plaza-- :'''Rad and Singing voice''': ♪Are ready to fight!♪ :'''Rad''': (laughs) Oh, man! Remember this old theme song? :'''K.O. and Singing voice''': ♪K.O., Rad, and Enid are in battle mode♪ :'''Enid and Singing voice''': ♪Punch and kick the bad guys till they all explode♪ :'''K.O., Enid, Rad, and Singing voice''': ♪Power up and fight. Let’s watch an episode of Lakewood Plaza Turbo!♪ ''[K.O. says OK K.O. instead of Plaza Turbo. Rad laughs after he messed up.]'' :'''Rad''': We have fun. Ha-- the plaza looked so different back then. :'''K.O.''': Whoa! We look so weird. :'''Enid''': Ugh-- my hair! Sorry. This is just, um… really weird to watch now. :'''Dynamite Watkins''': It sure is! Please feel free to react out loud during the whole thing. :'''Enid’s voice''': He’s sleeping again. ''[Rad snores and K.O. dumps ice cream on him.]'' :'''K.O.''': (laughs) Rad got so cold underneath all that ice cream, they had to call in a stunt double! ''[Audience laughs]'' :'''Rad''': Ha. Well, uh, I was on a cleanse, so my skin was super sensitive. :'''K.O.’s voice''': You looked so peaceful, like a baby lamb. ''[Mega Football Baby and Sparko laughs]'' :'''Enid’s voice''': Gee! ''[Pilot K.O. does something weird with his mouth.]'' :'''Rad''': Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is going on with your mouth there? :'''K.O.''': It’s an old theater trick we call “jawning.” It, um… keeps the jaw nice and loose, even when you’re not talking. :'''Rad’s voice''': Ooh! ''[Prepares to shoot K.O. with his finger]'' :'''Rad''': Oh! Did my own stunt here. Shout-out to the effects team. ''[Pilot K.O. grunts]'' :'''Rad’s voice''': It’s just the power poke. You know, a special move? :'''K.O.’s voice''': “Special move”? Okay, my turn! :'''Dynamite Watkins''': So, K.O., I sense a little conflict between you and Rad here. :'''K.O.''': Yeah, you know, in this episode, I think he’s the bad guy. But-- spoiler alert-- turns out he’s not the bad guy, and it was totally some other dude. Ha-- the stories can’t get too complicated in pilots. ''[Crowd laughs when K.O. doesn’t do his “special move”]'' :'''K.O.’s voice''': Yeah, well… I’ll soil you! ''[K.O. and Rad fight]'' :'''Enid’s voice''': Cool it! :'''Crowd''': Fight, fight! :'''Enid’s voice''': I said, “Cool it!” ''[Uses her power kick]'' :'''K.O.''': Ooh. Enid’s outfit change really was for the best. :'''Enid''': (chuckles nervously) Well… it was challenging. But the material called for a loin-flap, and I think meeting that challenge made me a stronger performer. :'''Mr. Gar’s voice''': No! ''[pounds the ground]'' :'''Enid’s voice''': Boss, what happ-- ''[trips on her loin-flap]'' Whoa! :'''K.O.''': (laughs) Remember how often you’d trip over that thing? ''[Enid continues tripping over her loin-flap]'' :'''Enid''': What?! Why would you show that?! :'''Dynamite Watkins''': Just cut in a few bloopers to spice things up. ===''Mystery Science Fair 201X'' [1.44]=== ''[Dendy and K.O. are trading Paw Cards before class starts]'' :'''Dendy''': Okay, then I will trade you for your… Limited edition Cowboy Darrell! :'''K.O.''': (Laughs) No way! He’s, like, the rarest villain card I own! :'''Dendy''': That is not true. You also have… ''[points to the Shadowy Figure Pow Card]'' this one! :'''K.O.''': Oh. Um, yeah… ''[tries to hide that Pow Card]'' I forgot. :'''Dendy''': Shadowy Figure never did return after last time, did he? :'''K.O.''': I think we’ve seen the last of him. Uh, what if I trade you… ''[tries to trade one of his Pow Cards]'' :'''Dendy''': And what of your… turbonic form? :'''K.O.''': Y-you mean T.K.O.? Well, I guess he’s still inside me somewhere? I-I don’t like thinking about it. :'''Dendy''': How very fascinating. :'''Classmate''': Everybody pipe down, will ya?! I think teach is comin-- ''[Miss Quantum slams the door on the kid]'' :'''Miss Quantum''': Morning, class. Everyone have a good weekend? :'''Classmates''': Yes, Miss Quantum. :'''Miss Quantum''': Well, that's great, ‘cause I spent mine failing all of your quizzes again! ''[tosses the quizzes]'' What is wrong with all of you?! Did any of you even try? ''[A clock is ticking, a slow fart is heard and classmates laugh]'' :'''Miss Quantum''': Okay, that’s fine. You kids think you’re just too clever for quizzes. Well, in that case, I’ll be looking forward to all your brilliant submissions to this year’s… ''[pulls out a laser gun and blasts words on the chalkboard]'' Mystery Science Fair 201X! ''[The title card appears and the chalkboard falls]'' :'''Nanini''': ''[raises hand]'' But, Miss Quantum, I thought you-- ''[A buzzer is heard and books fall on her]'' :'''Miss Quantum''': What have I told you about raising your hand? ''[Nanini raises her hand]'' Yes, Nanini? :'''Nanini''': I thought you said the science fair was optional. :'''Miss Quantum''': Oh! Oh, I did say that, didn’t I? ''[breathes fire]'' Well, I changed my mind! You are all now required to submit a project for the fair… by tomorrow! ''[Classmates groan]'' :'''Genesis''': That’s so unfair! There’s not enough time! :'''Miss Quantum''': Oh, quit your boo-hooin’ and get crackin’. Unless, of course, you’d rather be suspended from school like poor Lil’ Bobo out there. ''[Bobo is shown to be tied up and literally suspending from school]'' :'''Bobo''': Boo-hoo. Boo-hoo. Boo-hoo. :'''Miss Quantum''': The winner will receive a blue ribbon and extra credit. ''[shows a hologram of a blue ribbon]'' But I must warn you, I’m not easily impressed. Dendy. ''[glares at Dendy]'' Now get to work! :'''K.O.''': Oh! What do we do?! :'''Dendy''': Do not worry, K.O.. I have the perfect idea for our project. ''[A cheering sound effect is heard]'' :'''K.O.''': Oh, Dendy! What’s it gonna be about? :'''Dendy''': Unleashing T.K.O.. :'''K.O.''': Wait, what!? ''[Bell rings. K.O. is seen dragging himself to Dendy’s legs]'' :'''K.O.''': (crying) Dendy, why?! ''[sobs and sniffles]'' :'''Dendy''': (sighs) Allow me to explain. ''[shows a demonstration of their science fair]'' You, K.O., are the only person I know with the ability to harness energy as T.K.O.! If I could identify what it is exactly that triggers your turbonic transformation, it’d be a scientific breakthrough! :'''K.O.''': But it’s scary bein’ T.K.O.! I lose all control! (gasps) What if I hurt someone again?! What if I hurt you?! :'''Dendy''': Oh, K.O., I assure you ''[opens locker]'' we will be perfectly safe in a controlled environment, using only state-of-the art equipment. Now, please, step inside. :'''K.O.''': Mm! Okay, Dendy, I trust you. ''[steps inside the locker]'' Just no needles or anything, okay? ===''RMS & Brandon's First Episode'' [1.45]=== ''[Mad Sam has just threatened RMS and Brandon to frame his helmet.]'' :'''A Real Magic Skeleton''': (sighs) Here we are again, fearing for our lives, framing-- ''[Grabs the helmet]'' gah-- junk. I like hanging out with you all the time, but don’t you ever feel… trapped? :'''Brandon''': Speak for yourself! Despite the couple wackos, this place rules! Plus, it’s like the easiest job in the world! :'''A Real Magic Skeleton''': Is it, though? :'''Brandon''': Yeah! Everything’s easy with you around! Now, let’s get to work… after I take a nap. :'''A Real Magic Skeleton''': Huh? ''[Brandon hops on the counter with newspapers to nap.]'' Now? ''[Brandon snores]'' But we gotta frame Mad Sam’s helmet! I just don’t get paid enough for any of this! Look at him… so peaceful. Not a care in the world. Must be nice to be so willfully complacent. Huh? ''[Newsprint reads “Looking 4 Bigger and Better Things?” Zooms in to “Coffee Shop Looking 4 Barista Apply Now!!!!! Zooms in another text.]'' :'''A Real Magic Skeleton''': "25 more pennies an hour"? This could be just what I need to get out of this funk. Watching Brandon sleep can be fun sometimes, but maybe it’s time for me to move up in the world! Sorry, Brandon, but I’ve gotta get that job! ''[Scene cuts to A Real Magic Skeleton filling a resume on a computer.]'' :'''A Real Magic Skeleton''': Well, let’s see. Special skills. Uh… Framing proficien--Ugh, no, that’s dumb. Does magic count as a special skill? ''[A clang sound is heard.]'' Maybe I should-- ''[Another clang sound is heard.]'' Wha-- ''[And another. RMS' head is enveloped in purple flames.]'' Ooh, my geez, why?! What are you doing?! :'''Brandon''': I’m trying to get Mad Sam’s helmet in this display case. ''[Slams the helmet]'' :'''A Real Magic Skeleton''': Ugh! ''[Brandon slams again]'' You’re driving me nuts! Brandon, my dude, I love you, but I’m so glad I’m applying for a new job. :'''Brandon''': New job?! :'''A Real Magic Skeleton''': Yep! And with the extra 25 pennies a week, it’ll only take me, like… 2,000 years to become a millionaire! And once I have that much money, I’ll be able to do the things I always dreamed of. ''[He dreams of buying a steak with bone.]'' :'''Employee''': Here ya go. ''[RMS gets his order and leaves a dollar in the tips jar. Cut back to the present.]'' :'''A Real Magic Skeleton''': Ahh! :'''Brandon''': So you’re just gonna turn your back on all the cool stuff we do here? Like when we duct-taped each other to the walls? Or that time I took all your bones and hid them around the store. :'''A Real Magic Skeleton''': I didn’t like when you did that! I need my bones. :'''Brandon''': Well, what about the time we thought we were level 100 and fought Big Darrell. ''[Imagines fighting Big Darrell]'' :'''A Real Magic Skeleton''': That was K.O.. :'''Brandon''': Okay, well, still… our jobs are great! Think about how sweet our future will be, working here together, forever. ''[Echos]'' Forever… forever… forever. ''[Imagines Crinkly Wrinkly burying Brandon and him in the store.]'' :'''Crinkly Wrinkly and Brandon''': Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo! :'''A Real Magic Skeleton''': (shudders) ''[He checks his phone to see Drupe messaging him.]'' Mm. Come on. Drupe picked up some sour candy. :'''Brandon''': Oh, whoo! Whoo, whoo, whoo! ===''Lad and Logic'' [1.46]=== ===''OK Dendy! Let's Be K.O.!'' [1.47]=== ''[The evil robot attack alarm goes off]'' ''[We're shown Gar's Bodega getting on defense mode as Potato and Holo Jane flee, multiple screams can be heard in the background]'' :'''Cookie Man''': [Hands up his face] EVIL ROBOT ATTACK! ''[A Boxmore robot box falls from the sky, Enid and Rad hurry outside the Bodega and Dendy follows behind while humming and walking on a much slower pace. The box's walls fall only to reveal the robot sent in by Boxman is Ernesto.]'' :'''Ernesto''': [Nervously reading to himself the lines he's supposed to use off some papers] Uh... Okay... Greetings Lakewood, I am Ernesto, here from Boxmore... Your demise.... [He hums to himself before realizing he's already supposed to be fighting] OH! UM. [Quickly glances over at his papers] Greetings! Plaza!-.. Uh-..[Looks at his papers again] Turbians. I am... [Looks at his papers again] Ernesto. The... Uh-.. Boxmore business bot. [Puts his canon arm up] And I am here.. To, uh, destroy... [Points his canon arm at the heroes but nothing happens, so he awkwardly moves it up and down to try to get it to work. The only thing to come out of the canon is air. Ernesto grows tense] Your plaza! :'''Rad''': This is sad. :'''Enid''': [Pats Dendy on the head] Don't worry about this chump, Dendy. We'll handle him. [Winks at Dendy and puts her thumb up] :'''Dendy''': Okay! ''[Enid and Rad prepare themselves to attack Ernesto]'' :'''Dendy''': [Thinking] No... I'm filling-in for K.O., and K.O. would not simply chill at the prospect of battle. [Speaking] I must consult the list to see what he'd do! [Looks at K.O.'s schedule] "Learn life lesson"! I see! This is the climax of K.O.'s day, where he learns something wholesome. I've been trying to imitate K.O. this whole time but maybe the lesson I learned and, therefore, the secret of defeating this robot, is just to be myself! [Thinking] Yeah... That sounds correct. [Speaking] Ernesto! :'''Rad and Enid''': What?! :'''Dendy''': For a business bot, you're very inefficient. You haven't laid a single attack on the Plaza since you landed. :'''Ernesto''': W-Well... I was about to get there. :'''Dendy''': No! Over rot speeches and flimsy weapons are tools of lesser robots. As a business bot you should set aside those inferior tactics and just cut to the chase. :'''Ernesto''': Ha, maybe you're right! I don't need to copy the other robots to destroy the Plaza! I'm just gonna BE MYSELF! [He turns into a ball with only his arms out as some jazz music starts playing, then, using his arms' help he jumps backwards and becomes a full ball] ''[ Rad and Enid exclaim as they jump in order to dodge Ernesto's attack, Dendy gets run over by the robot and then is punched into the ground.]'' :'''Rad''': Dendy! Why'd you give him constructive criticism?! That just made him stronger! :'''Enid''': [Groans] Who cares! [She jumps back into action and prepares to air-kick Ernesto] He's not strong enough for this! ''[Enid's attack cuts Ernesto in half]'' :'''Rad''': Nice, Enid! ''[Suddenly both of Ernesto's halves start chasing after Enid and Dendy, Rad is able to use his levitation beam to stop them from hitting his friends]'' :'''Enid''': Oh-oh! Rad! :'''Rad''': I gotcha! ''[Ernesto's limbs break the beam and his arms grab Rad by the waist, knocking him on the ground over and over until finally sticking him down for good]'' :'''Rad''': [Groans while immobilized] :'''Enid''': Rad! ''[Ernesto's foot kicks Enid in the face just as she calls out for her friend's name, making her fall on the ground. Enid yells as she kicks Ernesto's legs, while he kicks back. She manages to throw the lower half of Ernesto into the sky but it comes back and smashes her on the ground]'' :'''Rad''': [Is unable to free himself from Ernesto's grip] HOW ARE WE LOSING?! [Gets slapped by Ernesto's tie] :'''Enid''': [Struggling to defend herself from Ernesto's attacks] We-... Need-... K.O.! :'''Dendy''': [Thinking] I see! Being my normal self isn't enough. They don't need Dendy right now... [Speaking] They need K.O.! And if K.O. is not here, [Stares at her holographic screen] I must become K.O. in my own way! [Starts typing things out on her screen, and takes on the shape of a giant K.O.] Untend them Ernesto! They're not your opponent, I AM! ''[Ernesto throws both Enid and Rad into the air and prepares to fight Dendy, he throws a punch at her but she grabs his first and pushes him back. Ernesto nearly loses balance but then he goes and tries to punch Dendy again, she manages to punch him first which throws him onto the ground. Ernesto quickly gets up and runs towards her, she tries to punch him but he blocks her attack. The two start throwing punches at each other but neither seem to be able to hit the other. Finally, Dendy manages to punch Ernesto in the stomach which throws him on the ground.]'' :'''Ernesto''': Oh... Jeez... Just being myself isn't helping to destroy the Plaza either! [Closes his one eye in shame] My failure figures are skyrocketing. :'''Dendy''': [Is breathing heavily because of the tiresome fight she just went through] Ernesto... We should appreciate the irony of this situation, I thought I needed to be myself, [Puts her hand on her chest] but I needed to copy someone else in my own way. :'''Ernesto''': Uh?.. Is this still about my thing? :'''Dendy''': No. [Punches Ernesto back into Boxmore] :'''Rad''': Dendy! THAT WAS AMAZING!!! :'''Enid''': Yeah! You should fill-in for K.O. everyday!!! :'''Dendy''': [Sighs] No, thank you! I thought I knew everything about K.O., but it seems the one thing I do not understand is how he does this everyday. This job is very tiring... Besides, I think it's best to leave being K.O., to the real K.O.. ''[A bus titled "Old Folks Home" suddenly pulls over and K.O. gets out of it while wearing a red shirt that reads "worlds' gratest grampso n" and with three balloons on his hand]'' :'''K.O.''': Hi, guys! I'm back! What'd I miss? :'''Rad and Enid''': K.O.!! [start talking at the same time about their battle against Ernesto and Dendy's help] ''[Dendy checks out the item "tender moment" off K.O.'s schedule and the episode ends]'' ===''Plaza Shorts'' [1.48]=== ===''Let's Not Be Skeletons'' [1.49]=== ===''Action News'' [1.50]=== ===''The Perfect Meal'' [1.51]=== ===''Hope This Flies'' [1.52]=== ''[Rad and Red Action are racing each other and just zoomed by a trailer park. Red is in the lead.]'' :'''Rad''': Stupid mobile suburbs! ''[He and Red enter Rumble Range]'' Now that we’re out of that maze, there’s no way I’ll lose. ''[Catches up to Red]'' :'''Red Action''': Man, you must like the taste of my dust! :'''Rad''': ''[Licks the dust]'' Not bad. Could use some more debris an-- Hey! (grumbles) I’ll show you! ''[Tries to move his stick-shift higher]'' No! I’m already going as fayste as I can! ''[Slowing down]'' We’re already going through Rumble Range! At this rate, Red’s gonna win. Eh. What the-- ''[Sees the Dendysoft Help System]'' I don’t remember adding this. ''[Pushes a button where a holographic form of Dendy appears.]'' :'''Dendy''': Greetings, operator. :'''Rad''': Aah! Demon! Don’t eat-- Dendy?! :'''Dendy''': A facsimile of Dendy, and as such, I’m programmed to help in a variety of ways. :'''Rad''': You snuck into ''my'' van and messed with ''my'' stuff?! :'''Dendy''': Please select a-- :'''Rad''': I don’t want your help! ''[Smashes the help system]'' I just gotta… um… That’s it! The volcano! While she’s comin’ ''round'' the mountain, I’ll be going ''over'' it. I’m a smart booooooy! ''[Drives to the volcano]'' :'''Enid''': ''[As a note]'' False. :'''Rad''': Time to fly. Launching the Rad Wing. ''[The wing, which is just a giant paper airplane, replaces the rocket launcher. Flies over the volcano.]'' Engaging thrusters. Y-e-e-es! I did it! I-- ''[The thruster burns the wing.]'' Noooooooooo! ''[The van falls into the volcano, plummeting to the lava.]'' Aaaaaaaaaaah! :'''Dendy''': Perhaps ''I'' can be of assistance. :'''Rad''': Demon! Dendy? How long have you been there? :'''Dendy''': The entire time. :'''Rad''': ''[grabs Dendy]'' Well, don’t just sit there adorably. Help! :'''Dendy''': You… want my help? :'''Rad''': Oh, Dendy, I shouldn’t have refused your help before. And now it’s my fault we’re gonna take a lava bath. I’ll do ''anything'' to atone. :'''Dendy''': Stick your finger in the ignition. :'''Rad''': Okay-- if it’ll atone. :'''Dendy''': No, Radicles. You can use your beam power to fuel the zero-point energy engine I secretly installed. :'''K.O.''': ''[As a note]'' I helped! :'''Rad''': Oh, okay. That makes sense. ''[Takes off the keys and stick his finger to the ignition and uses his beam power. The van levitates away from the lava.]'' I did it! I did it, I did it, I did it! :'''Dendy''': Aren’t you forgetting something? :'''Rad''': Oh, yeah. Y-You, uh… helped. :'''Dendy''': The race! :'''Rad''': (gasps deeply) ''[Drives around the volcano]'' But there’s no way we’ll catch up! ''[His van flies through]'' :'''Dendy''': That’s not entirely true. ''[Enid leans on a pole of the finish line texting.]'' :'''K.O.''': ''[Waves flags]'' Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! :'''Dendy''': I may have made some more secret mods to your van. ''[Pushes the faystest button to upgrade Rad’s van.]'' :'''Red Action''': Whoa! Cool! ''[Rad's van zooms past Red's tank.]'' :'''Rad''': We’re… gonna… win! :'''K.O.''': Whoo-hoo-hoo! :'''K.O. and Enid''': Aah! ''[The van flies by the finish line and Rad pushes the brakes, but it doesn’t stop.]'' :'''Rad''': Why aren’t we stopping?! :'''Dendy''': I had counted on you accepting my help much sooner! ''[The van crashes into the Bodega and sets it on fire. K.O. drives his go-kart and Red Action drives her tank to see.]'' :'''Enid''': ''[Takes off sunglasses]'' Rad! :'''K.O.''': Dendy! ''[Dendy carries Rad out of the mess.]'' :'''Enid, K.O., and Red Action''': Whew! :'''Rad''': (groans) Wha… My van! :'''Dendy''': Do not worry, Radicles. We will repair your van. Besides, you won the race. :'''Rad''': No, Dendy. ''We'' won. Did we-- Did we blow up the bodega? :'''Dendy''': ''[Whispering]'' Shh! Don’t draw attention to us. ===''You're in Control'' [1.53–54]=== == [[OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes (Season 2)|Season 2]] == ===''Seasons Change'' [2.01]=== ===''Lord Cowboy Darrell'' [2.02]=== ===''Plaza Film Festival'' [2.03]=== ===''Be A Team'' [2.04]=== ===''My Fair Carol'' [2.05]=== ===''Let's Watch the Boxmore Show'' [2.06]=== ===''Your World is an Illusion'' [2.07]=== ===''The So-Bad-ical'' [2.08]=== ===''Point to the Plaza'' [2.09]=== ===''TKO's House'' [2.10]=== ===''Red Action to the Future'' [2.11]=== ===''Dendy's Power'' [2.12]=== ===''Special Delivery'' [2.13]=== ===''Wisdom, Strength and Charisma'' [2.14]=== ===''Bittersweet Rivals'' [2.15]=== ===''Are You Ready for Some Megafootball?!'' [2.16]=== ===''Mystery Sleepover'' [2.17]=== ===''Crossover Nexus'' [2.18]=== :'''K.O.''': Hey, what's this spooky dump? And where are my friends? :'''Strike''': I am Strike. Howdy, hero -- and toodle loo! :'''K.O.''': What, me?! I-I'm still just a hero in training. :'''Strike''': Yeah, I don't care. ''[activates his pen to destroy K.O. as he whimpers but Garnet saves him just in time]'' :'''K.O.''': Huh? Wha-- Who? :'''Garnet''': No time for introductions. :'''Ben Tennyson''': Guys, this way! Come on! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Four Arms''': It's hideous! :'''K.O.''': Huh? Who are all these guys? :'''Garnet''': They must be heroes that couldn't escape Strike's…strike. Let's keep moving. :'''Four Arms''': Man, if Strike X'ed all these guys, he must be may stronger than I thought. :'''K.O.''': If all these heroes couldn't stop him, what could the three of us possibly do? :'''Raven''': ''[off-screen]'' Do what he isn't expecting, and go to his lair. :'''K.O.''': That's a great idea, Garnet! :'''Garnet''': I didn't say anything, K.O. :'''K.O.''': Ben? :'''Four Arms''': Dude, did that honestly sound like my voice to you? :'''Raven''': I said it. :'''K.O.''': ''[gasps as he sees her stuck to the wall]'' A hero! :'''Raven''': Hi. :'''K.O.''': ''[runs over and tries to get her unstuck]'' You've got X'ed by Strike, but you can still talk and stuff? :'''Raven''': I got protection spell off just before he X'ed me. ''[Garnet punches the wall with her gauntlet, freeing her]'' Thanks…you? :'''Garnet''': Garnet. :'''K.O.''': K.O.! :'''Four Arms''': Four Arms -- and Ben -- and, like, a bunch of other guys, too -- :'''Garnet''': ''[covers Four Arms' mouth]'' We need to know who you are and what this place is. :'''Raven''': I'm part of a group of superheroes called the Teen Titans. My name's Raven. Uh, excuse me? ''["Magician" changes to "half-Azarathian, half-demon sorceress"]'' That's better. Before I got X'ed out, I learned this used to be a great city of heroes, but Strike appeared and stole everyone's powers. He was still hungry, so he started summoning heroes from other dimensions to destroy. If we don't stop him, there'll be no heroes left…anywhere. :'''K.O.''': But why would he do something so cob-darn awful? :'''Raven''': Eh, it's his thing. It's what he does. He's like evil, you know pure evil or whatever. :'''Four Arms''': Seems like this dude always has the element of surprise. :'''Garnet''': Maybe we should surprise him, and ambush him at his lair. :'''Raven''': That was literally the first thing I said. :'''K.O.''': Raven, wanna join us? :'''Raven''': Eh, I don't know. I was having such a great time as a lifeless statue. :'''K.O.''': ''[hugs Raven joyfully]'' Ooh, a new friend! You can be the brains of our team. :'''Raven''': As usual. :'''K.O.''': Hey, Raven? Where is this evil lair anyway? :'''Raven''': Over there -- the giant fortress just past the impassable chasm. :'''K.O.''': Oh, okay. Neat. :'''Raven''': Ehh. Still smarter than Beast Boy. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Ben Tennyson''': Hey, jerk! :'''Strike''': What? :'''Raven, K.O., Garnet, and Ben Tennyson''': OK Ben Let's Go Universe! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Ben Tennyson''': My Omnitrix! Why isn't this thing working?! :'''K.O.''': Ben! It's okay! Your Omni-thingy was made with Strike's power, and he has the power to summon any hero into this world. :'''Ben Tennyson''': (''chuckles'') I see where your going with this. It's Hero Time! :'''K.O.''': You just need… a power fist! Because my penis is way more powerful than stupid shrek! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Ben Tennyson''': Well, time to get going. Bye, guys! Gwen's gonna flip when she hears about this. ===''Monster Party'' [2.19]=== ===''Super Black Friday'' [2.20]=== ===''Final Exams'' [2.21]=== ===''Soda Genie'' [2.22]=== ===''Carol Quest'' [2.23]=== ===''Plaza Alone'' [2.24]=== ===''Boxman Crashes'' [2.25]=== ===''All in the Villainy'' [2.26]=== ===''Sidekick Scouts'' [2.27]=== ===''Whacky Jaxxyz'' [2.28]=== ===''Project Ray Way'' [2.29]=== ===''I Am Jethro'' [2.30]=== ===''GarQuest'' [2.31]=== ===''Gar Trains Punching Judy'' [2.32]=== ===''Beach Episode'' [2.33]=== ===''OK A.U.! Alternate Universe'' [2.34]=== ===''K.O.'s Health Week'' [2.35]=== ===''Rad's Alien Sickness'' [2.36]=== ===''Dark Plaza'' [2.37–38]=== ==[[OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes (Season 3)|Season 3]]== ===''We Are Heroes'' [3.01]=== ===''K.O., Rad, and Enid!'' [3.02]=== ===''T.K.O. Rules!'' [3.03]=== ===''Chip's Damage'' [3.04]=== ===''K.O. vs. Fink'' [3.05]=== ===''The K.O. Trap'' [3.06]=== ===''Whatever Happened to... Rippy Roo?'' [3.07]=== ===''Planet X'' [3.08]=== ===''Deep Space Vacation'' (<big>100</big>{{small|th}} episode) [3.09]=== ===''Let's Meet [[Sonic the Hedgehog|Sonic]]'' [3.10]=== :'''K.O.''': Alright, Rad and Enid, are you ready for another action-packed day of protecting our hero plaza from evil robots? :'''Rad''': Sorry, K.O., we stayed up all night playing videos game. I'm so tired, I don't care what happens. I'm gonna sleep through all of it! (''snores'') :'''Enid''': Seconded. :'''K.O.''': Bu-but… working at Gar's means we must always be alert! You never know when a legendary hero might 3D blast through our doors! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Sonic''': You be careful now, kid. ''[puts down Nanini]'' Can't have anyone getting hurt on my watch. :'''Genesis and Nanini''': ''[excitedly]'' It's really him! ''[run off, squealing]'' :'''K.O.''': ''[gasps]'' Can it be? Are you ''the'' legendary Sonic the Hedgehog with a Power Level of Ring?! :'''Sonic''': The one and only, yep. ===''Big Reveal'' [3.11]=== ===''Radical Rescue'' [3.12]=== ===''Let's Get Shadowy'' [3.13]=== ===''You're a Good Friend, K.O.'' [3.14]=== ===''Red Action 3: Grudgement Day'' [3.15]=== ===''Carl'' [3.16]=== ===''Dendy's Video Channel'' [3.17]=== ===''Let's Fight to the End'' [3.18-19]=== :'''Shadowy Venomous''': I THINK YOU'RE FORGETTING YOUR PLACE, BOY! ===''Thank You For Watching the Show'' [3.20]=== :'''K.O.''': ''[last lines]'' Thank you for watching the show! ==Cast== *{{w|Stephanie Nadolny}} (Episodes 1, 4-6) and {{w|Courtenay Taylor}} (rest of the series) – K.O. *{{w|Ashly Burch}} – Enid *{{w|Ian Jones-Quartey}} – Radicles (Rad), Darrell *{{w|David Herman}} – Mr. Gar, Jethro *{{w|Kate Flannery}} – Carol *{{w|Melissa Fahn}} – Dendy *{{w|Jim Cummings}} – Lord Boxman *{{w|Kari Wahlgren}} – Shannon *{{w|Robbie Daymond}} – Raymond ==External links== {{wikipedia}} * [http://ok-ko.wikia.com/wiki/OK_K.O.!_Wiki] &ndash; OK K.O.! Wiki page {{Authority control}} [[Category:2010s American animated TV shows]] [[Category:Traditionally animated TV shows]] [[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated TV shows]] [[Category:American children's animated action TV shows]] [[Category:American children's animated adventure TV shows]] [[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]] [[Category:American children's animated superhero TV shows]] [[Category:Crossover animated TV shows]] [[Category:Superhero comedy TV shows]] [[Category:Teen superhero TV shows]] [[Category:Cancelled shows]] [[Category:Cartoon Network original series]] [[Category:Television series by Cartoon Network Studios]] [[Category:Animated TV shows about children]] 2smo2e9prhj2sqtunty16yafgkch085 0 198708 3942283 2710008 2026-05-18T11:44:55Z En-cor-Zenodoti 3308631 Adding original Greek and further quotes; most widely circulated quotes are from the Pseudepicharmea 3942283 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Epicharmus of Kos|Epicharmus]] of [[w:Kos|Kos]]''' (c. 540 – c. 450 BC) was a [[Greek]] [[w:dramatist|dramatist]] and [[philosopher]]. {{author-stub}} == Quotes == * ἁ δὲ χεὶρ τὰν χεῖρα νίζει· δός τι καὶ λάβε τι. ** One hand washes the other; give and take. ** Frg. 211 K.-A. = B 30 DK (tr. [https://archive.org/details/dictionaryofquot00harbiala/page/308/mode/2up T. B. Harbottle, 1897]) * νᾶφε καὶ μέμνασ᾿ ἀπιστεῖν· ἄρθρα ταῦτα τᾶν φρενῶν. ** Keep sober and remember to be mistrustful: these are the joints of the intelligence. ** Frg. 218 K.-A. = B 13 DK (tr. [https://archive.org/details/bwb_S0-BIF-010/page/36/mode/2up K. Freeman, 1948]) * ''emori nolo, sed me esse mortuum nihil aestimo.'' * I have no desire to die, but I count my death as nothing. ** Frg. 230 K.-A. = B 11 DK (tr. [https://archive.org/details/onlivingdyingwel0000cice/page/15/mode/2up T. Habinek, 2012]) ** Latin translation by [[Cicero]] (''Tusc. Disp.'' I.15); original Greek partially preserved in {{w|Sextus Empiricus}} (''Adv. math.'' I.273) but not intelligible: ἀποθανεῖν † ἢ τεθνάναι οὔ μοι διαφέρει. {{Misattributed begin}} === ''Pseudepicharmea'' === :<small>These gnomic verses were popularly circulated as Epicharmus' in antiquity, but were already recognised as spurious by {{w|Aristoxenus}} (frg. 45 Wehrli).</small> * καθαρὸν ἂν τὸν νοῦν ἔχῃς, ἅπαν τὸ σῶμα καθαρὸς εἶ. ** Keep a clean mind and you will be clean in body. ** Frg. 258 K.-A. = B 26 DK (tr. [https://archive.org/details/dictionaryofquot00harbiala/page/396/mode/2up T. B. Harbottle, 1897]) * οὐ μετανοεῖν ἀλλὰ προνοεῖν χρὴ τὸν ἄνδρα τὸν σοφόν. ** The wise man must be wise before, not after the event. ** Frg. 263 K.-A. = B 41 DK (tr. [https://archive.org/details/dictionaryofquot00harbiala/page/454/mode/2up T. B. Harbottle, 1897]) * ἐπιπολάζειν οὔτι χρὴ τὸν θυμόν, ἀλλὰ τὸν νόον. ** Judgment, not passion, should prevail. ** Frg. 264 K.-A. = B 43 DK (tr. [https://archive.org/details/dictionaryofquot00harbiala/page/372/mode/2up T. B. Harbottle, 1897]) * ὄνος δ᾿ ὄνῳ κάλλιστον, ὗς δέ θην ὑί. ** Ass fairest is to ass, and pig to pig. ** Frg. 279 K.-A. = B 5 DK (tr. [https://archive.org/details/dictionaryofquot00harbiala/page/400/mode/2up T. B. Harbottle, 1897]) {{Misattributed end}} == External links == {{wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Epicharmus Of Kos}} [[Category:BCE deaths]] [[Category:Philosophers from Greece]] [[Category:Playwrights from Greece]] [[Category:Poets from Greece]] 1v24ht7agm1v4p1fcsn6dg2e7xlvrx1 0 201710 3942184 3941237 2026-05-17T21:20:54Z Dronebogus 3078761 /* Songs */ 3942184 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} [[File:Lin-Manuel Miranda in Hamilton.jpg|thumb|How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot in the Caribbean, by providence, impoverished, in squalor, grow up to be a hero and a scholar?]] [[File:Leslie Odom, Jr., in Hamilton costume, July 2015.jpg|thumb|No one else was in the room where it happened, the room where it happened, the room where it happened...]] [[File:Alexander Hamilton portrait by John Trumbull 1806.jpg|thumb| I’m just like [[United States|my country]], I’m young, scrappy, and hungry, and I am not throwing away my shot!]] [[File:George III (by Allan Ramsay).jpg|thumb|Oceans rise, empires fall.]] [[File:Duel between Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton.jpg|thumb|[[Aaron Burr|I]] survived, but I payed for it.]] [[File:Mrs. Elizabeth Schuyler Hamilton.jpg|thumb|I establish the first private orphanage in New York City. . . . I help to [[Parenting|raise]] hundreds of children. . . . In their eyes I see you, Alexander. I see you every - time.]] '''''[[w:Hamilton (musical)|Hamilton]]''''' is a 2015 biographical musical about the life and death of [[Alexander Hamilton]] by [[Lin-Manuel Miranda]]. It received an official recorded version on streaming service Disney+ in 2020. ==[[w:Aaron Burr|Aaron Burr]]== * How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot in the Caribbean, by providence, impoverished, in squalor, grow up to be a hero and a scholar? ** ''[[w:Alexander Hamilton (song)|Alexander Hamilton]]'' * Two Virginians and an immigrant walk into a room, diametric'ly opposed foes. They emerge with a compromise, having opened doors that were previously closed, bros. The immigrant emerges with unprecedented financial power, a system he can shape however he wants. The Virginians emerge with the nation's capital. And here's the ''pièce de résistance'': No one else was in the room where it happened, the room where it happened, the room where it happened... ** ''[[w:The Room Where It Happens|The Room Where It Happens]]'' * [[w:Burr–Hamilton duel|When Alexander aimed at the sky, he may have been the first one to die]], but I'm the one who paid for it. I survived, but I paid for it. Now I'm the [[villain]] in your history. I was too young and blind to see... I should've known the world was wide enough for both Hamilton and me. ** ''[[w:The World Was Wide Enough|The World Was Wide Enough]]'' ==[[w:Alexander Hamilton|Alexander Hamilton]]== * There's a million things I haven't done, but just you wait! ** ''Alexander Hamilton'' * I’m just like my country, I’m young, scrappy, and hungry, and I am not throwing away my shot! ** ''[[w:My Shot (song)|My Shot]]'' * If we assume the debts, the union gets new line of credit, a financial diuretic. How do you not get it? If we're aggressive and competitive the union gets a boost. You'd rather give it a sedative? A civics lesson from a slaver. Hey neighbor, your debts are paid 'cause you don't pay for labor. ** ''[[w:Cabinet Battle #1|Cabinet Battle #1]]'' * America, you great unfinished symphony, you sent for me. You let me make a difference. A place where even orphan immigrants can leave their fingerprints and rise up. ** ''[[w:The World Was Wide Enough|The World Was Wide Enough]]'' ==[[w:Elizabeth Schuyler Hamilton|Eliza Hamilton]]== * [[w:Hamilton–Reynolds affair|You told the whole world]] how you brought [[w:Maria Reynolds | this girl]] into our bed. In clearing your name, you have ruined our lives... I'm burning the memories, burning the letters that might have redeemed you... You forfeit the place in our bed. You sleep in your office instead, with only the memories of when you were mine. I hope that you burn. ** ''[[w:Burn (Hamilton song)|Burn]]'' * The Lord, in His kindness, He gives me what you always wanted. He gives me more time... I speak out against slavery. You could have done so much more if you only had time... I establish the first private orphanage in New York City... I help to raise hundreds of children... In their eyes I see you, Alexander. I see you every time. ** ''[[w:Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story|Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story]]'' ==[[w:George Washington|George Washington]]== * We are outgunned, outmanned, outnumbered, outplanned. We gotta make an all out stand. Ayo, I'm gonna need a right-hand man! Check it, can I be real a second? For just a millisecond? Let down my guard and tell the people how I feel a second? Now [[w:Major-General's Song|I'm the model of a modern major general]], the venerated Virginian veteran whose men are all lining up, to put me up on a pedestal. Writin' letters to relatives, embellishin' my elegance and eloquence. But the elephant is in the room. The truth is in ya face when ya hear the British cannons go boom! ==[[w:Angelica Schuyler|Angelica Schuyler]]== * I know my sister like I know my own mind, you will never find anyone as trusting or as kind. If I tell her that I love him she'd be silently resigned, he'd be mine. She would say "I'm fine." She'd be lying. But when I fantasize at night, it's Alexander's eyes, as I romanticize what might have been if I hadn't sized him up so quickly. ** ''[[w:Satisfied (Hamilton song)|Satisfied]]'' ==[[w:Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette|Marquis de Lafayette]]== *''Oui, oui, mon ami! Je m'appelle Lafayette!'' The Lancelot of the Revolutionary Set! I came from afar just to say ''bonsoir'' to the King, ''casse toi''. Who's the best? ''C'est moi!'' **''Aaron Burr, Sir'' ==[[George III of the United Kingdom|King George III]]== * Oceans rise, empires fall, we have seen each other through it all. And when push comes to shove, I will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love! ** ''[[w:You'll Be Back|You'll Be Back]]'' *Insane! You cheat with the French, now I'm fighting with France and with Spain! ** ''What Comes Next?'' ==[[w:James Madison|James Madison]]== * [[w:Hamiltonian economic program|He took our country from bankruptcy to prosperity]]. I hate to admit it, but he doesn't get enough credit for all the credit he gave us. ** ''[[w:Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story|Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story]]'' ==Songs== ==Alexander Hamilton=== :'''[[w:Hercules Mulligan|Hercules Mulligan]]/Madison and Lafayette/[[w:Thomas Jefferson|Thomas Jefferson]]''': We fought with him. :'''[[w:John Laurens|John Laurens]]/[[w:Philip Hamilton|Philip Hamilton]]''': Me, I died for him. :'''[[Washington]]''': Me, I trusted him. :'''Eliza, Angelica, and [[w:Peggy Schuyler|Peggy Schuyler]]/[[w:Mariah Reynolds|Mariah Reynolds]]''': Me, I loved him. :'''Burr''': And me, I'm the damn fool [[w:Burr–Hamilton duel|that shot him!]] ===The Schuyler Sisters=== :'''Burr''': Excuse me, miss, I know it's not funny, but your perfume smells like your daddy's got money. Why you slummin' in the city in your fancy heels? You searchin for an urchin who can give you ideals? :'''Angelica''': Burr, you disgust me. :'''Burr''': Ah, so you've discussed me. I'm a trust fund, baby, you can trust me! :'''Angelica''': I've been reading ''[[w:Common Sense|Common Sense]]'' by [[w:Thomas Paine|Thomas Paine]], so men say that I'm intense or I'm insane. You want a revolution? I want a revelation, so listen to my declaration. :'''Angelica, Eliza, and Peggy''': [[w:United States Declaration of Independence|“We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal”]]... :'''Angelica''': And when I meet Thomas Jefferson, I'm ‘a compel him to include women in the sequel! :'''Women''': Work! ===The Room Where It Happens== :'''Company''': The art of the compromise— :'''Burr''': Hold you nose and close your eyes. :'''Company''': We want our leaders to save the day— :'''Burr''': But we don't get a say in what they trade away. :'''Company''': We dream of a brand new start— :'''Burr''': But we dream in the dark for the most part! :'''Burr and company''': Dark as a tomb where it happens. :'''Burr''': I've got to be in the room! ===Washington On Your Side=== :'''Madison''': So he’s doubled the size of the government. Wasn’t the trouble with much of our previous government size? :'''Burr''': Look in his eyes! :'''Jefferson''': See how he lies. :'''Madison''': Follow the scent of his enterprise. :'''Jefferson''': Centralizing national credit and making American credit competitive. :'''Madison''': If we don’t stop it we aid and abet it :'''Jefferson''': I have to resign. :'''Madison''': Somebody has to stand up for the South! :'''Burr''': Somebody has to stand up to his mouth! :'''Jefferson''': If there’s a fire you’re trying to douse. :'''Madison and Jefferson''': You can’t put it out from inside the house :'''Jefferson''': I’m in the cabinet. I am complicit in watching him grabbin’ at power and kiss it. If Washington isn’t gon’ listen to disciplined dissidents, this is the difference: this kid is out! == Quotes about ''Hamilton'' == [[File:Lin-Manuel Miranda Walk of Fame ceremony (32253127108) (cropped).jpg|thumb| This is a story about America then, told by America now. —Lin-Manuel Miranda]] * This is a story about America then, told by America now. ** Lin-Manuel Miranda, as quoted in [https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2015/09/lin-manuel-miranda-hamilton/408019/ "How Lin-Manuel Miranda Shapes History: Works of art have long informed how people understand the past, and Hamilton is no exception."] ''The Atlantic.'' September 29, 2015. *(Tell us your favorite TV, film or theater adaptation of a book.) Far and away it has to be Lin-Manuel Miranda’s “Hamilton,” inspired by the [[Ron Chernow]] biography, by far. It’s not just an adaptation. It’s a transformation. One of the most impressive creative feats I’ve ever witnessed. **[[Trevor Noah]] [https://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/06/books/review/trevor-noah-by-the-book.html interview] (2016) * [I]n the ''Hamilton'' that Lin-Manuel and his incredible cast and crew bring to life . . . we recognize the improbable story of America, and the spirit that has sustained our nation for over 240 years. And in this telling, rap is the language of revolution. [[Hip hop|Hip-hop]] is the backbeat. In each brilliantly crafted song . . . we hear the [[Debate|debates]] that are still shaping our nation. . . . [W]ith a cast as [[Diversity|diverse]] as America itself, including the outstandingly talented [[Women|women]], the show reminds us that this nation . . . is an inheritance that belongs to all of us. ** US President [[Barack Obama]], [https://obamawhitehouse.archives.gov/the-press-office/2016/03/14/remarks-president-hamilton-white-house "Remarks by the President at 'Hamilton at the White House'"] March 14, 2016. (Press release, Office of the White House Press Secretary). Obama White House archives. * [On May 12, 2009 Miranda performed ''[[w:Alexander Hamilton (song)|Alexander Hamilton]]'' - now the first song in the ''Hamilton'' musical - at the White House.] That night, Lin reintroduced people to the poor kid from the Caribbean who made the country rich and strong, an [[Immigration|immigrant]] who came here to build a life for himself and ended up helping to build the nation. He is the prototype for millions of men and women who followed him, and continue to arrive today. ** Jeremy McCarter, from page 15 of the augmented ''Hamilton'' libretto, [[w:Hamilton (musical)#Hamilton: The Revolution|''Hamilton: The Revolution'' (2016)]], by Lin-Manuel Miranda and Jeremy McCarter. Grand Central Publishing. ISBN 9781455539741. ==Original Broadway Cast== * [[w:Lin-Manuel Miranda|Lin-Manuel Miranda]] - [[w:Alexander Hamilton|Alexander Hamilton]] * [[w:Phillipa Soo|Phillipa Soo]] - [[w:Elizabeth Schuyler Hamilton|Eliza Hamilton]] * [[w:Leslie Odom Jr.|Leslie Odom Jr.]] - [[w:Aaron Burr|Aaron Burr]] * [[w:Renée Elise Goldsberry|Renée Elise Goldsberry]] - [[w:Angelica Schuyler Church|Angelica Schuyler]] * [[w:Daveed Diggs|Daveed Diggs]] - [[w:Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette|Marquis de Lafayette]] and [[w:Thomas Jefferson|Thomas Jefferson]] * [[w:Christopher Jackson (actor)|Christopher Jackson]] - [[w:George Washington|George Washington]] * [[w:Okieriete Onaodowan|Okieriete Onaodowan]] - [[w:Hercules Mulligan|Hercules Mulligan]] and [[w:James Madison|James Madison]] * [[w:Jasmine Cephas Jones|Jasmine Cephas Jones]] - [[w:Peggy Schuyler|Peggy Schuyler]] and [[w:Maria Reynolds|Maria Reynolds]] * [[w:Anthony Ramos (actor)|Anthony Ramos]] - [[w:John Laurens|John Laurens]] and [[w:Philip Hamilton|Philip Hamilton]] * [[w:Jonathan Groff|Jonathan Groff]] - [[w:George III of the United Kingdom|King George III]] == External links == *{{wikipedia-inline}} *{{Commonscat-inline}} [[Category:Musicals]] d5xu2i52nf0qhyaj7du1fdnv22tjffm 3942185 3942184 2026-05-17T21:21:06Z Dronebogus 3078761 /* =The Room Where It Happens */ 3942185 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} [[File:Lin-Manuel Miranda in Hamilton.jpg|thumb|How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot in the Caribbean, by providence, impoverished, in squalor, grow up to be a hero and a scholar?]] [[File:Leslie Odom, Jr., in Hamilton costume, July 2015.jpg|thumb|No one else was in the room where it happened, the room where it happened, the room where it happened...]] [[File:Alexander Hamilton portrait by John Trumbull 1806.jpg|thumb| I’m just like [[United States|my country]], I’m young, scrappy, and hungry, and I am not throwing away my shot!]] [[File:George III (by Allan Ramsay).jpg|thumb|Oceans rise, empires fall.]] [[File:Duel between Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton.jpg|thumb|[[Aaron Burr|I]] survived, but I payed for it.]] [[File:Mrs. Elizabeth Schuyler Hamilton.jpg|thumb|I establish the first private orphanage in New York City. . . . I help to [[Parenting|raise]] hundreds of children. . . . In their eyes I see you, Alexander. I see you every - time.]] '''''[[w:Hamilton (musical)|Hamilton]]''''' is a 2015 biographical musical about the life and death of [[Alexander Hamilton]] by [[Lin-Manuel Miranda]]. It received an official recorded version on streaming service Disney+ in 2020. ==[[w:Aaron Burr|Aaron Burr]]== * How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot in the Caribbean, by providence, impoverished, in squalor, grow up to be a hero and a scholar? ** ''[[w:Alexander Hamilton (song)|Alexander Hamilton]]'' * Two Virginians and an immigrant walk into a room, diametric'ly opposed foes. They emerge with a compromise, having opened doors that were previously closed, bros. The immigrant emerges with unprecedented financial power, a system he can shape however he wants. The Virginians emerge with the nation's capital. And here's the ''pièce de résistance'': No one else was in the room where it happened, the room where it happened, the room where it happened... ** ''[[w:The Room Where It Happens|The Room Where It Happens]]'' * [[w:Burr–Hamilton duel|When Alexander aimed at the sky, he may have been the first one to die]], but I'm the one who paid for it. I survived, but I paid for it. Now I'm the [[villain]] in your history. I was too young and blind to see... I should've known the world was wide enough for both Hamilton and me. ** ''[[w:The World Was Wide Enough|The World Was Wide Enough]]'' ==[[w:Alexander Hamilton|Alexander Hamilton]]== * There's a million things I haven't done, but just you wait! ** ''Alexander Hamilton'' * I’m just like my country, I’m young, scrappy, and hungry, and I am not throwing away my shot! ** ''[[w:My Shot (song)|My Shot]]'' * If we assume the debts, the union gets new line of credit, a financial diuretic. How do you not get it? If we're aggressive and competitive the union gets a boost. You'd rather give it a sedative? A civics lesson from a slaver. Hey neighbor, your debts are paid 'cause you don't pay for labor. ** ''[[w:Cabinet Battle #1|Cabinet Battle #1]]'' * America, you great unfinished symphony, you sent for me. You let me make a difference. A place where even orphan immigrants can leave their fingerprints and rise up. ** ''[[w:The World Was Wide Enough|The World Was Wide Enough]]'' ==[[w:Elizabeth Schuyler Hamilton|Eliza Hamilton]]== * [[w:Hamilton–Reynolds affair|You told the whole world]] how you brought [[w:Maria Reynolds | this girl]] into our bed. In clearing your name, you have ruined our lives... I'm burning the memories, burning the letters that might have redeemed you... You forfeit the place in our bed. You sleep in your office instead, with only the memories of when you were mine. I hope that you burn. ** ''[[w:Burn (Hamilton song)|Burn]]'' * The Lord, in His kindness, He gives me what you always wanted. He gives me more time... I speak out against slavery. You could have done so much more if you only had time... I establish the first private orphanage in New York City... I help to raise hundreds of children... In their eyes I see you, Alexander. I see you every time. ** ''[[w:Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story|Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story]]'' ==[[w:George Washington|George Washington]]== * We are outgunned, outmanned, outnumbered, outplanned. We gotta make an all out stand. Ayo, I'm gonna need a right-hand man! Check it, can I be real a second? For just a millisecond? Let down my guard and tell the people how I feel a second? Now [[w:Major-General's Song|I'm the model of a modern major general]], the venerated Virginian veteran whose men are all lining up, to put me up on a pedestal. Writin' letters to relatives, embellishin' my elegance and eloquence. But the elephant is in the room. The truth is in ya face when ya hear the British cannons go boom! ==[[w:Angelica Schuyler|Angelica Schuyler]]== * I know my sister like I know my own mind, you will never find anyone as trusting or as kind. If I tell her that I love him she'd be silently resigned, he'd be mine. She would say "I'm fine." She'd be lying. But when I fantasize at night, it's Alexander's eyes, as I romanticize what might have been if I hadn't sized him up so quickly. ** ''[[w:Satisfied (Hamilton song)|Satisfied]]'' ==[[w:Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette|Marquis de Lafayette]]== *''Oui, oui, mon ami! Je m'appelle Lafayette!'' The Lancelot of the Revolutionary Set! I came from afar just to say ''bonsoir'' to the King, ''casse toi''. Who's the best? ''C'est moi!'' **''Aaron Burr, Sir'' ==[[George III of the United Kingdom|King George III]]== * Oceans rise, empires fall, we have seen each other through it all. And when push comes to shove, I will send a fully armed battalion to remind you of my love! ** ''[[w:You'll Be Back|You'll Be Back]]'' *Insane! You cheat with the French, now I'm fighting with France and with Spain! ** ''What Comes Next?'' ==[[w:James Madison|James Madison]]== * [[w:Hamiltonian economic program|He took our country from bankruptcy to prosperity]]. I hate to admit it, but he doesn't get enough credit for all the credit he gave us. ** ''[[w:Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story|Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story]]'' ==Songs== ==Alexander Hamilton=== :'''[[w:Hercules Mulligan|Hercules Mulligan]]/Madison and Lafayette/[[w:Thomas Jefferson|Thomas Jefferson]]''': We fought with him. :'''[[w:John Laurens|John Laurens]]/[[w:Philip Hamilton|Philip Hamilton]]''': Me, I died for him. :'''[[Washington]]''': Me, I trusted him. :'''Eliza, Angelica, and [[w:Peggy Schuyler|Peggy Schuyler]]/[[w:Mariah Reynolds|Mariah Reynolds]]''': Me, I loved him. :'''Burr''': And me, I'm the damn fool [[w:Burr–Hamilton duel|that shot him!]] ===The Schuyler Sisters=== :'''Burr''': Excuse me, miss, I know it's not funny, but your perfume smells like your daddy's got money. Why you slummin' in the city in your fancy heels? You searchin for an urchin who can give you ideals? :'''Angelica''': Burr, you disgust me. :'''Burr''': Ah, so you've discussed me. I'm a trust fund, baby, you can trust me! :'''Angelica''': I've been reading ''[[w:Common Sense|Common Sense]]'' by [[w:Thomas Paine|Thomas Paine]], so men say that I'm intense or I'm insane. You want a revolution? I want a revelation, so listen to my declaration. :'''Angelica, Eliza, and Peggy''': [[w:United States Declaration of Independence|“We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal”]]... :'''Angelica''': And when I meet Thomas Jefferson, I'm ‘a compel him to include women in the sequel! :'''Women''': Work! ===The Room Where It Happens=== :'''Company''': The art of the compromise— :'''Burr''': Hold you nose and close your eyes. :'''Company''': We want our leaders to save the day— :'''Burr''': But we don't get a say in what they trade away. :'''Company''': We dream of a brand new start— :'''Burr''': But we dream in the dark for the most part! :'''Burr and company''': Dark as a tomb where it happens. :'''Burr''': I've got to be in the room! ===Washington On Your Side=== :'''Madison''': So he’s doubled the size of the government. Wasn’t the trouble with much of our previous government size? :'''Burr''': Look in his eyes! :'''Jefferson''': See how he lies. :'''Madison''': Follow the scent of his enterprise. :'''Jefferson''': Centralizing national credit and making American credit competitive. :'''Madison''': If we don’t stop it we aid and abet it :'''Jefferson''': I have to resign. :'''Madison''': Somebody has to stand up for the South! :'''Burr''': Somebody has to stand up to his mouth! :'''Jefferson''': If there’s a fire you’re trying to douse. :'''Madison and Jefferson''': You can’t put it out from inside the house :'''Jefferson''': I’m in the cabinet. I am complicit in watching him grabbin’ at power and kiss it. If Washington isn’t gon’ listen to disciplined dissidents, this is the difference: this kid is out! == Quotes about ''Hamilton'' == [[File:Lin-Manuel Miranda Walk of Fame ceremony (32253127108) (cropped).jpg|thumb| This is a story about America then, told by America now. —Lin-Manuel Miranda]] * This is a story about America then, told by America now. ** Lin-Manuel Miranda, as quoted in [https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2015/09/lin-manuel-miranda-hamilton/408019/ "How Lin-Manuel Miranda Shapes History: Works of art have long informed how people understand the past, and Hamilton is no exception."] ''The Atlantic.'' September 29, 2015. *(Tell us your favorite TV, film or theater adaptation of a book.) Far and away it has to be Lin-Manuel Miranda’s “Hamilton,” inspired by the [[Ron Chernow]] biography, by far. It’s not just an adaptation. It’s a transformation. One of the most impressive creative feats I’ve ever witnessed. **[[Trevor Noah]] [https://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/06/books/review/trevor-noah-by-the-book.html interview] (2016) * [I]n the ''Hamilton'' that Lin-Manuel and his incredible cast and crew bring to life . . . we recognize the improbable story of America, and the spirit that has sustained our nation for over 240 years. And in this telling, rap is the language of revolution. [[Hip hop|Hip-hop]] is the backbeat. In each brilliantly crafted song . . . we hear the [[Debate|debates]] that are still shaping our nation. . . . [W]ith a cast as [[Diversity|diverse]] as America itself, including the outstandingly talented [[Women|women]], the show reminds us that this nation . . . is an inheritance that belongs to all of us. ** US President [[Barack Obama]], [https://obamawhitehouse.archives.gov/the-press-office/2016/03/14/remarks-president-hamilton-white-house "Remarks by the President at 'Hamilton at the White House'"] March 14, 2016. (Press release, Office of the White House Press Secretary). Obama White House archives. * [On May 12, 2009 Miranda performed ''[[w:Alexander Hamilton (song)|Alexander Hamilton]]'' - now the first song in the ''Hamilton'' musical - at the White House.] That night, Lin reintroduced people to the poor kid from the Caribbean who made the country rich and strong, an [[Immigration|immigrant]] who came here to build a life for himself and ended up helping to build the nation. He is the prototype for millions of men and women who followed him, and continue to arrive today. ** Jeremy McCarter, from page 15 of the augmented ''Hamilton'' libretto, [[w:Hamilton (musical)#Hamilton: The Revolution|''Hamilton: The Revolution'' (2016)]], by Lin-Manuel Miranda and Jeremy McCarter. Grand Central Publishing. ISBN 9781455539741. ==Original Broadway Cast== * [[w:Lin-Manuel Miranda|Lin-Manuel Miranda]] - [[w:Alexander Hamilton|Alexander Hamilton]] * [[w:Phillipa Soo|Phillipa Soo]] - [[w:Elizabeth Schuyler Hamilton|Eliza Hamilton]] * [[w:Leslie Odom Jr.|Leslie Odom Jr.]] - [[w:Aaron Burr|Aaron Burr]] * [[w:Renée Elise Goldsberry|Renée Elise Goldsberry]] - [[w:Angelica Schuyler Church|Angelica Schuyler]] * [[w:Daveed Diggs|Daveed Diggs]] - [[w:Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette|Marquis de Lafayette]] and [[w:Thomas Jefferson|Thomas Jefferson]] * [[w:Christopher Jackson (actor)|Christopher Jackson]] - [[w:George Washington|George Washington]] * [[w:Okieriete Onaodowan|Okieriete Onaodowan]] - [[w:Hercules Mulligan|Hercules Mulligan]] and [[w:James Madison|James Madison]] * [[w:Jasmine Cephas Jones|Jasmine Cephas Jones]] - [[w:Peggy Schuyler|Peggy Schuyler]] and [[w:Maria Reynolds|Maria Reynolds]] * [[w:Anthony Ramos (actor)|Anthony Ramos]] - [[w:John Laurens|John Laurens]] and [[w:Philip Hamilton|Philip Hamilton]] * [[w:Jonathan Groff|Jonathan Groff]] - [[w:George III of the United Kingdom|King George III]] == External links == *{{wikipedia-inline}} *{{Commonscat-inline}} [[Category:Musicals]] 2m3x9zwbzm2z9h9u5cdly6t8ourtuix 0 203982 3942149 3940536 2026-05-17T20:13:08Z ~2026-14851-90 3300450 /* Live Action Cast */ 3942149 wikitext text/x-wiki {{cleanup}} '''''[[w:Barney's Great Adventure|Barney's Great Adventure]]''''' is a Canadian musical [[w:Comdey film|comedy]] adventure based on the [[w:Children's television series|children's television series]] ''[[Barney & Friends]]'', featuring the character [[w:Barney the Dinosaur|Barney the Dinosaur]]. The film was written by [[w:Stephen White (television writer)|Stephen White]], directed by [[w:Steve Gomer|Steve Gomer]], produced by [[w:Sheryl Leach|Sheryl Leach]] and [[w:Lyrick Studios|Lyrick Studios]] and released by [[w:Universal Pictures|Universal Pictures]] from 2000 to 2021 and [[w:PolyGram Filmed Entertainment|PolyGram Filmed Entertainment]] from 1998 to 2000 in the United States and Canada at the height of Barney's popularity. {{center|'''An adventure as big as your imagination.'''}} == Barney the Dinosaur == * A towel, please. Thank you, Marcella. ''[giggles]'' Oh, thank you, Cody. It's so nice to have a shower after a long trip. Oh, right. I just love to pretend. * It's beautiful. Whoops. Uh-uh, sorry. * Ralphie, a little guitar music, please. * Well, actually, I think it it was a flea. * ''[evil groans]'' Huh? Oh, no! ''No!'' I gotta get driving lessons. Oh, I'm fine. Wait for minute. I don't know. * Hmm… Well, don't give up. ''[snaps]'' When, the rain stops, we can go, hurry back outside, and look around some more, and then, maybe, we can find it. * Aw... I know how you feel about losing something, Abby. But, cheer up! We’ll find that egg. You know we will! Don’t cry! * ''Oh, that's ring number four. Only one more to go.'' Come back! Please! You can't our egg! No. * Right! Yes! * Okay. * Oh, I think we need your help. I'd like you to pretend that we can really fly. Let's all do it together. Ready? 1... 2... 3... Now! Thank you! * We're gonna hit... the haystack! * They're gonna fancy dance right on top of the egg. * ''Oh, look. It's turning <span style=color:green>green</span>. * Well, don't give up. ( ''snaps'' ) When the rain stops, hopefully we can go hurry back outside and look around some more, and then maybe we can find it. * It's cracking. == BJ == == Baby Bop == * ''Excuse me.'' Uh, I said excuse me! Oh, that's better. I'm looking for my blankie. It's this big, and it's ''really, really'' soft, and it's yellow. ''[giggles]'' * Do you know where my blankie is? * Oh, well... uh, thank you. Okay, you can go on now. * It's wiggling. == Grandpa Greenfield == * Eliza... the kids are here. Shake a leg now. * Much. Come on. * Yes. Don't worry. Everything will be okay. Cody. Tiger. Come on. == Grandma Greenfield== * They're here? Oh, my goodness. George, do I look all right? * I know, Cody. You told us at dinner. * Well, I'm glad he likes it. Marcella, don't leave you little doll out there all night. * Now, Cody, I did notice at the table... that someone ate like a dinosaur tonight. * She's a birdwatcher, dear, and I think that she knows everything about eggs and birds. Why don't you on over there? * George, what is it? * My stars! What happened? All you all right? ==Dialogue== :''[first lines]'' :'''Barney''': Oh, boy! It looks like everybody's here! :'''BJ:''': Oh, man, this is gonna be so cool! :'''Baby Bop''': Oh, I can't wait to eat popcorn and sing along and... oh, and see the movie! :''[All three of them laugh.]'' :'''Barney''': Well then, here we go! :'''Baby Bop''': Roll 'em! :''[The screen fades from black. During the song that plays throughout the opening credits, we see a green minivan drive through the countryside and the title kicks in. In the minivan, a dad drives, a mom looks at a map, a girl holds Barney (as a doll), another girl stitches lanyard, while a boy plays on his GameBoy, and a baby sits in his seat, silently.]'' :'''Marcella''': Are we there yet? :'''Kate Newton''': Your turn. :'''Colton Newton''': No, not yet, Marcella. :'''Abigail "Abby" Newton''': Oh, it's taking too long! :'''Cody Newton''': ''[annoyed, to Abigail]'' What's your hurry?? They're dumping us for a whole week! :'''Colton''': Oh, come on Cody, you're going to have a great time. You can help Grandpa with the farm chores, like, uh... "milking the chickens!" :'''Others''': ''[laugh]'' :'''Cody''': Get the doll out of my face! :''[Marcella takes the Barney doll out of Cody's face, just as she and Abby are about to say...]'' :'''Abby/Marcella''': Talk to the hand, 'cause the face ain't home, leave a message at the tone: beep! ''[both laugh: What they were going to say was "Abby and Marcella can't come to the phone. Please leave a message after the beep... beep! If you are satisfied with your message, press one or hang up!"]'' :'''Marcella''': Do you like dinosaurs? :'''Cody''': What about them? :'''Abby''': That's Barney! :'''Cody''': I know it's Barney. The ''whole world'' knows it's Barney, and he's a stuffed doll! :'''Marcella''': You're wrong. Barney can walk and talk. :'''Abby''': And sing! And dance! :'''Colton''': Batteries not included. :''[Laughter from Marcella, Abby and Kate]'' :'''Cody''': Sing and dance? :'''Abby''': We use our imaginations. :'''Cody''': Your imaginations? That's kid stuff! :'''Abby''': That's all right - we ''are'' kids! ''[she laughs with Marcella as the family pass a street in the town of Merrivale. There's a sign above them reading "Merrivale Apple Day Festival"]'' :'''Colton''': Hey, look, Merrivale Apple Day Festival - parade, circus, hot air balloons, fireworks... wow! :'''Abby''': It's tomorrow! Can Grandma and Grandpa bring us? :'''Colton''': Um... :'''Kate Newton''': Well, maybe, but don't count on it, okay? :'''Cody''': Oh, great! The one ''good'' to do in town, and we'll probably miss it! :'''Grandpa''': Delilah, the kids are here, shake a leg now! :'''Grandma''': They're here? Oh, my goodness! Geroge. <hr width="50%"/> :''[The girls furrow their brows slightly, eyes closed, as they "use their imaginations". Cody finds this amusing. Abby opens one eye long enough to give her brother a dirty look, then both girls redouble their efforts - eyes tightly shut, faces humorously scrunched.]'' :'''Cody''': Gee, ''no'' Barney? Maybe you're ''not'' trying hard ''enough''! :''[From the GIRLS POV, we see Cody laughing. But behind him, as soon as they hear the shower turning on, all three kids react with surprise. Cody slowly turns around to look. We see a CLOSE UP of the bathtub's legs... as they VISIBLY BEND under immense weight! The girls open their eyes, slack-jawed, and the water turns off. A pregnant moment ticks by, and Cody s-l-o-w-l-y starts to reach for the curtain’s edge. Suddenly, a purple hand pulls back the curtain! We see BARNEY, still with some drops of water on him. Cody falls to the floor in surprise, and Marcella and Abby are amazed.]'' :'''Barney''': ''[jolly]'' A towel, please! ''[At this pedestrian request, the two girls smile... then begin to laugh. Cody remains stunned - his hand still outstretched. Barney starts to climb from the tub. CLOSE-UP of tub legs as they flex back up to normal position. Marcella grabs a BATH TOWEL and hands it to Barney.]'' Thank you, Marcella! :'''Marcella''': ''[As Barney buffs himself dry with the towel, she says...]'' He knows my name. :''[Barney notices that Cody is still standing with his arm outstretched... and nicely drapes the moist towel over it.]'' :'''Barney''': Oh, and thank you, Cody! It's so nice to have a shower after a long car trip. Now, what were we playing before, Abby? :'''Abby''': We were playing a game of pretend, remember? :'''Barney''': Oh, right! I just love to pretend. :'''Marcella''': Hey, why don't we go play in the barn? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cody''': Okay, "Barney"... you're really here, 'cause in ''my'' imagination... then you're about to disappear! :'''Abby/Marcella''': Co-dy! :''[Cody scrunches his eyes tightly shut.]'' :'''Cody''': I... do... ''not''... believe in you! :''[Cody slowly opens his eyes. From Cody's POV, we see Marcella and Abby looking at him with faint annoyance. Barney is noticeably absent between them. Cody smiles with relief... then is suddenly startled when Barney leans into frame and puts a hand on Cody's shoulder! The two are practically nose to nose.]'' :'''Barney''': ''[Warm & Significant]'' That's okay, Cody. ''[a beat]'' I believe in you... :''[He chuckles as he gives Cody a Barney-sized hug.]'' :'''Cody''': ''[grumps]'' Barney the Dinosaur is ''not'' in this barn! :''[That night, after dinner...]'' :'''Cody''': I'm telling you, Barney's in your barn. :'''Grandma''': I know. Cody, you told us at dinner. :'''Grandpa''': Several times. :'''Cody''': Listen to me, Grandma, Grandpa. Barney the Dinosaur is in ''your'' barn! ( ''no audio'' ) ''Isn't he?'' :'''Grandma''': Marcella, don't leave your little doll. :'''Cody''': <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cody''': I wish! Wish! I wish could have are real adventure this summer! Do things that no one else has done before! That would be cool! How's that for a wish, Barney? Barney? Barney? ( ''sighs'' ) Man, I must be lose it! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cody''': ''[sighs]'' Whoa! ''[pail shakes]'' :'''Cody''': What's going on? ''[Barney whimpering]'' :'''Barney''': Well! Uh, Um, To tell you the truth! I, Uh. :'''Marcella''': Hey, maybe it'll Grandma will know. :'''Abby''': Let's go ask her. :'''Barney''': Oh, Okay. ''[Cody spins Barney around then his farmer suit disappear back to himself again]'' Wait for me! ''[Barney runs out of the barn after the kids]'' ''[footsteps running]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cody''': Well, Barney has ''it''! :'''Grandpa''': Right! Where's Barney? :'''Cody''': I'll go find out! Make sure they ''don't'' go anywhere! :'''Abby''': You have to see this egg. :'''Marcella''': What bird lady? :'''Grandma''': She's a birdwatcher, dear, and I think she knows everything and eggs and birds. Why don't you children go on over there? :'''Cody''': Never mild. I'm taking ''you'' to see my grandparents right now. :'''Barney''': Oh, well, good. Bye, Fig. I'll just, uh... :'''Cody''': Oh, Grandma will be in a second, okay? Hey, wait for me! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Abby''': To take the egg to Ms. Goldfinch! Hurry up! :'''Barney''': Okay! :'''Cody''': Wait! I want Grandma and Grandpa to see it right now! :'''Barney''': Oh! :'''Cody''': Grandma! ''[evil thunderclaps to at once]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Barney''': Come on, Agnes. :'''Marcella''': We have much farther to go. :'''Abby''': I don't think so. :'''Cody''': I don't remember it looking like this last year. :'''Marcella''': Maybe, we're lost. :'''Abby''': Barney? :''[Abby and Marcella, except Cody, shouted at Barney]'' :'''Barney''': Look what I found! ''[Barney moves the branch up and the swan sign said Goldfinch]'' That way. :'''Cody''': There is no that way. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Barney''': Well, the egg is hatch, when all five of these rings light up. But it'll only hatch in the very spot where Cody it. :'''Abby''': In the barn! :'''Ms. Goldfinch''': Oh, Hovering hummingbirds, You're right! There's three more to go! Oh, you better get that egg back to the barn right away! :'''Cody''': Oh, come on! You're dreaming if you think that-- :'''Ms. Goldfinch''': Cody, be careful! :'''Barney''': Oh, no! :'''Marcella''': Oh, no! No, no! :'''Abby''': No, no, no! :'''Marcella''': No! :'''Cody''': No, stop! :'''Marcella''': No! :'''Children''': No! :'''Miss Goldfinch''': Go, go, go! :'''Cody''': I'm taking the fast way! :'''Mr. Millet''': See you, Miss Goldfinch! :'''Barney''': No, wait, Mr. Millet, stop! You've got our egg! :'''Girls''': Mr. Millet, stop! You've got our egg! :'''Abby''': Don't let him get away! :'''Marcella''': Stop, stop! :'''Barney''': Oh, no! Mr. Millet! :'''Cody''': Come back here, Mr. Millet! Come on, let's get on a horse and go! :'''Abby''': But we can't all ride on Agnes! ''[crowd cheering]'' :'''Baby Bop''': ''Excuse me.'' Uh, I said excuse me! ''[cheering stops]'' :'''Baby Bop''': Oh, that's better. I'm looking for my blankie. It's big, and it's ''really, really'' soft and it's yellow. ''[giggles]'' Do you know where my blankie is? :'''All Crowd''': No, we don't! :'''Baby Bop''': Oh, well... uh, thank you. Okay, you can go on now. ''[crowd cheers']'' :'''Barney''': Mr. Millet, Mr. Millet! Stop! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Abby''': Oh, I can't look! :'''Marcella''': Oh, tell me when it's over! :'''Barney''': Oh, that's very impressive! :'''Cody''': Hey, don't scramble our egg! :'''Barney''': No, stop! Oh! Oh, look, it's turning green! :'''Abby''': That's number three! :'''Marcella''': Oh, just two more to go! :'''Cody''': Hey, where'd it go? :'''Barney''': But I don't know! :'''Marcella''': Look, there it is! No, mister, don't do it! :'''Cody''': No! :'''Marching Band Musician''': ''[blows sousaphone]'' :'''Children''': No, mister, don't blow! :'''Marching Band Musician''': ''[He blows stuck harder and egg lands out of a sousaphone...]'' :'''Barney''': Go after it! Come on! :'''Cody''': Let's go get it! Let's go! :'''Barney''': Oh, hurry! :'''Abby''': Where is it? :'''Barney''': Oh, there it goes! :'''Football Player B.J.''': ''[and it lands on his hands.]'' Wide open! Touchdown! Ha-ha! Yeah! :'''Cody''': What? :'''Girls''': B.J.? :'''Football Player B.J.''': B.J. makes the play of the game! The world's greatest football player, B.J.! Yeah! :'''Abby''': Great catch, B.J.! :'''Football Player B.J.''': You should see me throw! ''[He throws the egg...]'' :'''Barney''': What? :'''Abby''': No! :'''Barney''': Oh, no! :'''Cody''': No! ''[it rolls on Chez Snobbe's roof and it lands on a woman's hat.]'' It's on that woman's hat! :'''Barney''': Well, she's going into that restaurant! :'''Marcella''': What are we waiting for? Let's go! :'''Barney''': Quick, after her! :'''Cody''': Yeah, come on, hurry up! :'''Football Player B.J.''': Oh, man, I'm really, really sorry! :'''Barney''': Oh, that's okay, B.J., you didn't mean to do anything wrong. :'''Football Player B.J.''': But Barney, I... :'''Barney''': I gotta go, bye! Wait for me! :'''Football Player B.J.''': Okay. :'''Abby''': Where's the egg? I don't see it. :'''Barney''': Very fancy! :'''Abby''': There it is! :'''Cody''': Let's go get it! :''[Woman laughs and on top of waiter's dish and tray]'' :'''Waiter''': Welcome to Chez Snobbe. Come right this way, please. :'''Abby''': Where's the egg? :'''Marcella''': We're just gonna have to look. :'''Barney''': Maybe I could create a little distraction to get everyone's attention. :'''Cody''': Man, they're gonna throw us outta here for sure. Well, what exactly are you gonna do, Barney? :'''Abby''': Barney, where'd he go? :'''Cody''': Barney? :'''Abby''': Barney, here is he? :'''Marcella''': Look! :'''Barney''': Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of Chez Snobbe, I'd like to invite you to sing along... with one of the all-time great musical masterpieces. Maestro? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cody''': What's he doing up there? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Children''': Now's our chance! That's the distraction! Come on, guys! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cody''': Eww! Not in there. Enjoy your thing! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Marcella''': Eww, snails? You really eat this stuff? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Abby''': We looked all over and we can't find it anywhere! :'''Barney''': Look, there it is! Quick, after it! Thank you! Thank you! :'''French Waiter''': ''[speaking French meaning "My friends, from the bottom of my heart, you are purple and magnificent!"]'' :'''Barney''': ''[specking French meaning "Ah, Sir, you are too kind. The pleasure is all ours."]'' :'''Children''': There it is, Barney! :'''Barney''': Oh, look, May I? Salmon? Oh, where's the egg? :'''Waiter''': Oh, that great big colorful thing? :'''Together''': Yes! :'''Waiter''': We put it in a "to-go" sack. :'''Abby''': What? :'''Waiter''': We sent it back to those clowns at the circus. :'''Together''': The circus? :'''Waiter''': They've been playing tricks on us... ever since they got to town. It's one of their take-out orders. ''[laughs]'' Wait until they crack it open. :'''Children''': Crack it open?? :'''Barney''': What?? Oh, I don't like the sound of that! Come on, everybody! Bye-bye! So long! :'''Acrobat''': Thank you! :'''Chez Snobbe Delivery Man''': There you go! :'''Unicycle''': Oh, thank you! :'''Cody''': It's got to be in one of those bags. :'''Abby''': Let's split up. I'll go with Marcella. :'''Marcella''': And you two go together. :'''Barney''': Okay! Wait, this way. :'''Abby''': Did you see an egg about this big it has stripes on it? :'''Man''': No, no, no. :'''Marcella''': Look, look in the bag. Turn it, turn it... ''[sighs]'' :'''Cody''': Very colorful stripes around it. :'''Barney''': Sure, have you seen that? :'''Cody''': Yeah! :'''Marcella''': Um, have you seen our egg it's about this big? :'''Contortionist''': No! :'''Abby''': Mister, have you seen our egg has colorful rings on it? :'''Barney''': Excuse me, could you help me out? I'm looking for an egg. I really need to find it. :''[squeaks]'' :'''BOTH''': No! :'''Unicycle holding a sandwich''': No! :'''Trampolinist''': No! :'''BOTH''': Did you find it? Did you guys find it? I didn't see it anywhere. :'''Marcella''': There it is! There it is! :'''Barney''': Oh, quick, get it! Get it! :'''Cody''': Hurry! Get it! Hurry! :'''Barney''': Oh, no! There it goes. :'''Marcella''': Come on, get it! Hurry! :'''Abby''': Somebody catch it. :''[bounce]'' :'''Barney''': Nice bounce! Whoa! Oh! Oh, stop it, no! Go after it. Excuse me. :'''Juggler''': Wow! You caught me by surprise, my large purple friend. I like surprises. Surprises are for birthdays and birthdays go with cakes. :'''Abby''': But, mister-- :'''Juggler''': Whoa! ''[birthday cake drops]'' What is it, young lady? :'''Abby''': That's our egg you're juggling. :'''Juggler''': That's good, I like eggs. Eggs are for breakfast and that means frying pans. :'''Marcella''': It's a dream maker! :'''Abby''': Please, I'm worried about it. :'''Juggler''': Well, young lady, if there's a sudden gust of gravity, will the dream maker bounce? :'''Abby''': No! :'''Juggler''': Then we're both worried about it. There is a way to stop... called the Peking Duck trick. :'''Barney''': How does that go? :'''Juggler''': The Peking Duck trick goes like this. First you all close your eyes. Are you peeking? :'''BOTH''': No! :'''Juggler''': Than duck... :'''BOTH''': Oh! :'''Barney''': Oh! Hmm, oh! ''[thunderclaps]'' Where'd it go? Where's the egg? :'''Cody''': Where's the egg? :'''Barney''': I don't-- :'''BOTH''': Where's the juggler? :'''Abby''': Uh, please? :'''Barney''': Well, oh, no. :'''Cody''': Oh, great. Oh, no. :'''Barney''': Come on, everybody, let's go! :'''Cody''': Come on! Let's go under the tent! Let's go in here for a while. :'''Barney''': Oh, sorry. Oh, hurry. Oh, whew. :'''Cody''': This is not good. :'''Marcella''': It's just... gone. :'''Abby''': We've lost the egg again and this time we're never going to find it. :'''Barney''': Well, don't give up. ''[light snaps]'' When the rain stops, we can look around some more and then maybe we can find it. :'''Cody''': ''[enraged]'' We already looked around! We're not gonna find it, we've lost it!! :'''Abby''': ''[mad]'' You don't even wanna find it, you never did!! It was crazy kid stuff!! :'''Cody''': ''[angrily scolding]'' WAIT! NO!!! :'''Abby''': ''[gets angrier]'' What's wrong with just being a kid, Cody? What's wrong with that? ''[Abby's anger turned to sadness and a tear rolled down from her eye. Barney walks up to Abby and kneels down to her and gently comfort her.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Marcella''': Okay, all aboard the log. :'''Abby''': Okay! :'''Barney''': Okay! :'''Abby''': Make believe. Make believe. :'''Marcella''': Flying with the wind I'm our hair. :'''Barney''': Oh, I think we need your help. I'd like you to pretend that we can really fly. Let's all do it together. Ready? <math>1</math>, <math>2</math>, <math>3</math>, now! ''[music playing and chorus vocalizing softly]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Barney''': But-- huh? ''Oh, no!'' Excuse me. I'm fine. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hot Air Balloon Collector''': Good luck! :'''Abby/Marcella''': Oh, no! He let it go too soon! :'''Barney''': Come on, Cody! Get under it! :'''Cody''': Go! :'''Marcella''': Faster, Cody, faster! We got to get under it, Cody! :'''Barney''': Hurry! Whoa! :'''Abby/Marcella''': Faster! Go! Go! Go! Hurry! :'''Barney''': Cody, you'd better watch it! :'''Cody''': I'm gonna break the sound barrier! :'''Barney''': That's it! Faster! :''' Cody''': ''[screaming]'' :'''Barney''': Faster! :'''Abby/Marcella''': Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Come on, Cody! :'''Barney''': Okay, Get ready now! We're almost there, keep going! Okay, Abby. Okay, Marcella, catch it. :'''Abby''': Go! :'''Barney''': Come on! :'''Abby''': Got it! :'''Barney''': That's it! :'''Marcella''': Yeah! :'''Barney''': Way to go, Abby! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Barney''': Yes, I know. A lot of hay. :'''Grandma''': What is it? Where it come from? :'''Barney''': ''[chuckles]'' :'''BJ''': Look out, below! Yahoo! :'''Barney''': ''[chuckles]'' :'''Marcella''': Cool! :'''Abby/Marcella''': ''[laughs]'' :'''Barney''': ''[chuckles again]'' :'''BJ''': Hi, guys was that cool or what? Whoa! :'''Barney''': Hi, B.J.! :'''BJ''': Alright! Hi, Barney! :'''Grandpa''': Whoa, hold it, let's start over again, this is all about an egg? :'''Barney''': That's right! :'''BJ''': Hey, where is it? :'''Marcella''': It's right here! :'''Cody''': It got away from us for a while but we finally found it. :'''Grandma''': Oh, my, what's it doing? :'''Barney''': The last ring is light up! ''[music playing and chorus vocalizing softly]'' :'''Marcella''': It's time for the dream maker to hatch. :'''Abby''': Quick, Cody. You've gotta put the egg back... exactly where you found it. :'''Barney''': Oh, hurry. Oh... come on! :'''BJ''': Go, Cody! :'''Cody''': No problem. The egg was right here. (He throws the egg and it lands on Baby Bop's blanket) :'''Barney''': Cody! :'''Cody''': No! :'''Baby Bop''': Oh, look, I found my blankie! :'''All''': Yeah! :'''Cody''': Yes! :'''Abby''': Yeah! Hey, come on! :''[all chattering]'' :'''Baby Bop''': Did I do something good? :'''Abby/Marcella''': Yeah! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cody''': Barney? :'''Barney''': Yes, Cody? :'''Cody''': I'd just like to say that... I guess I was a big duofus before and I think you're pretty cool. :'''Barney''': Oh, thank you, Cody. I think you're pretty cool, too. :'''Marcella''': Hey, Barney, now can we see your dream? :'''Abby''': Hey, where's Twinken? We want to see Barney’s dream. :'''Barney''': Twinken is gone? :'''Baby Bop''': Where is he? :'''B.J.''': Twinken! :'''Barney''': I don't know. :'''Baby Bop''': Twinken? :'''Barney''': Twinken? :'''Baby Bop''': Here, Twinken! :'''Barney''': Twinken! :'''Cody''': He's got away! :'''Barney''': Oh, oh, no! :'''Grandma''': Where is he going? :'''Cody''': Where's Twinken? :'''Abby''': There is he, over the house. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Baby Bop''': Good night, everybody! Good night, Twinken! :''[Twinken is waving goodbye before Barney and Twinken are about to transform into toy forms and Baby Bop and BJ are going to disappear]'' :'''BJ:''': We'll see you later, guys! ''[no audio]'' :'''Baby Bop''': Bye-bye! :''[everyone is leaving while we say goodbye]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[last lines]'' :'''Grandpa''': ''[laughs]'' Barney, this is the-- ''[they realized Barney is gone]'' Where is he? Well, now they're both gone! :'''Abby''': Well, Barney wouldn't just leave! :'''Grandma''': No!!! :'''Baby Fig''': ''[garbled]'' Barney. :''[Everyone saw Twinken and Barney now back to his doll form]'' :'''Baby Fig''': ''[coos]'' ==Taglines== * Barney's First Movie Ever! * An adventure as big as your imagination. ==Cast== ===Live Action Cast=== The Newton Family * [[w:Trevor Morgan|Trevor Morgan]] - Cody Newton * Diana Rice - Abby Newton * [[w:Kyla Pratt|Kyla Pratt]] - Marcella Walker * Alan Fawcett - Dad (Mr. Newton) * Jane Wheeler - Mom (Mrs. Newton) * David and Edouard Larouche - Fig Newton The Greenfield Family * [[w:George Hearn|George Hearn]] - Grandpa Greenfield * [[w:Shirley Douglas|Shirley Douglas]] - Grandma Greenfield ===Voices=== * [[w:David Joyner|David Joyner]] - Barney ** Bob West * Jeff Ayers - Baby Bop ** Julie Johnson * Jeff Brooks - B.J. ** Patty Wirtz ==Songs== # Barney - The Song # Imagine # Let Me Call You Sweetheart # Twinkle Twinkle Little Star # Old MacDonald Had a Farm # If You're Happy and You Know It # Who's Inside It? # If All the Raindrops # We're Gonna Find a Way # I Love You ==External links== {{wikipedia}} [[Category:Films about nighthall songs]] [[Category:Films set on airplanes]] [[Category:1998 films]] [[Category:Children's films]] [[Category:1990s American films]] [[Category:British films]] [[Category:Films about gone and off-screen]] [[Category:Canadian films]] [[Category:Adventure films]] [[Category:Fantasy films]] [[Category:Musical films]] [[Category:Comedy films]] [[Category:Films featuring puppetry]] [[Category:Films based on television series]] [[Category:Films about dinosaurs]] [[Category:Films about friendship]] ts4hzw5nacuc8h3431evibxgh59prkd 3942150 3942149 2026-05-17T20:13:32Z ~2026-14851-90 3300450 /* Live Action Cast */ 3942150 wikitext text/x-wiki {{cleanup}} '''''[[w:Barney's Great Adventure|Barney's Great Adventure]]''''' is a Canadian musical [[w:Comdey film|comedy]] adventure based on the [[w:Children's television series|children's television series]] ''[[Barney & Friends]]'', featuring the character [[w:Barney the Dinosaur|Barney the Dinosaur]]. The film was written by [[w:Stephen White (television writer)|Stephen White]], directed by [[w:Steve Gomer|Steve Gomer]], produced by [[w:Sheryl Leach|Sheryl Leach]] and [[w:Lyrick Studios|Lyrick Studios]] and released by [[w:Universal Pictures|Universal Pictures]] from 2000 to 2021 and [[w:PolyGram Filmed Entertainment|PolyGram Filmed Entertainment]] from 1998 to 2000 in the United States and Canada at the height of Barney's popularity. {{center|'''An adventure as big as your imagination.'''}} == Barney the Dinosaur == * A towel, please. Thank you, Marcella. ''[giggles]'' Oh, thank you, Cody. It's so nice to have a shower after a long trip. Oh, right. I just love to pretend. * It's beautiful. Whoops. Uh-uh, sorry. * Ralphie, a little guitar music, please. * Well, actually, I think it it was a flea. * ''[evil groans]'' Huh? Oh, no! ''No!'' I gotta get driving lessons. Oh, I'm fine. Wait for minute. I don't know. * Hmm… Well, don't give up. ''[snaps]'' When, the rain stops, we can go, hurry back outside, and look around some more, and then, maybe, we can find it. * Aw... I know how you feel about losing something, Abby. But, cheer up! We’ll find that egg. You know we will! Don’t cry! * ''Oh, that's ring number four. Only one more to go.'' Come back! Please! You can't our egg! No. * Right! Yes! * Okay. * Oh, I think we need your help. I'd like you to pretend that we can really fly. Let's all do it together. Ready? 1... 2... 3... Now! Thank you! * We're gonna hit... the haystack! * They're gonna fancy dance right on top of the egg. * ''Oh, look. It's turning <span style=color:green>green</span>. * Well, don't give up. ( ''snaps'' ) When the rain stops, hopefully we can go hurry back outside and look around some more, and then maybe we can find it. * It's cracking. == BJ == == Baby Bop == * ''Excuse me.'' Uh, I said excuse me! Oh, that's better. I'm looking for my blankie. It's this big, and it's ''really, really'' soft, and it's yellow. ''[giggles]'' * Do you know where my blankie is? * Oh, well... uh, thank you. Okay, you can go on now. * It's wiggling. == Grandpa Greenfield == * Eliza... the kids are here. Shake a leg now. * Much. Come on. * Yes. Don't worry. Everything will be okay. Cody. Tiger. Come on. == Grandma Greenfield== * They're here? Oh, my goodness. George, do I look all right? * I know, Cody. You told us at dinner. * Well, I'm glad he likes it. Marcella, don't leave you little doll out there all night. * Now, Cody, I did notice at the table... that someone ate like a dinosaur tonight. * She's a birdwatcher, dear, and I think that she knows everything about eggs and birds. Why don't you on over there? * George, what is it? * My stars! What happened? All you all right? ==Dialogue== :''[first lines]'' :'''Barney''': Oh, boy! It looks like everybody's here! :'''BJ:''': Oh, man, this is gonna be so cool! :'''Baby Bop''': Oh, I can't wait to eat popcorn and sing along and... oh, and see the movie! :''[All three of them laugh.]'' :'''Barney''': Well then, here we go! :'''Baby Bop''': Roll 'em! :''[The screen fades from black. During the song that plays throughout the opening credits, we see a green minivan drive through the countryside and the title kicks in. In the minivan, a dad drives, a mom looks at a map, a girl holds Barney (as a doll), another girl stitches lanyard, while a boy plays on his GameBoy, and a baby sits in his seat, silently.]'' :'''Marcella''': Are we there yet? :'''Kate Newton''': Your turn. :'''Colton Newton''': No, not yet, Marcella. :'''Abigail "Abby" Newton''': Oh, it's taking too long! :'''Cody Newton''': ''[annoyed, to Abigail]'' What's your hurry?? They're dumping us for a whole week! :'''Colton''': Oh, come on Cody, you're going to have a great time. You can help Grandpa with the farm chores, like, uh... "milking the chickens!" :'''Others''': ''[laugh]'' :'''Cody''': Get the doll out of my face! :''[Marcella takes the Barney doll out of Cody's face, just as she and Abby are about to say...]'' :'''Abby/Marcella''': Talk to the hand, 'cause the face ain't home, leave a message at the tone: beep! ''[both laugh: What they were going to say was "Abby and Marcella can't come to the phone. Please leave a message after the beep... beep! If you are satisfied with your message, press one or hang up!"]'' :'''Marcella''': Do you like dinosaurs? :'''Cody''': What about them? :'''Abby''': That's Barney! :'''Cody''': I know it's Barney. The ''whole world'' knows it's Barney, and he's a stuffed doll! :'''Marcella''': You're wrong. Barney can walk and talk. :'''Abby''': And sing! And dance! :'''Colton''': Batteries not included. :''[Laughter from Marcella, Abby and Kate]'' :'''Cody''': Sing and dance? :'''Abby''': We use our imaginations. :'''Cody''': Your imaginations? That's kid stuff! :'''Abby''': That's all right - we ''are'' kids! ''[she laughs with Marcella as the family pass a street in the town of Merrivale. There's a sign above them reading "Merrivale Apple Day Festival"]'' :'''Colton''': Hey, look, Merrivale Apple Day Festival - parade, circus, hot air balloons, fireworks... wow! :'''Abby''': It's tomorrow! Can Grandma and Grandpa bring us? :'''Colton''': Um... :'''Kate Newton''': Well, maybe, but don't count on it, okay? :'''Cody''': Oh, great! The one ''good'' to do in town, and we'll probably miss it! :'''Grandpa''': Delilah, the kids are here, shake a leg now! :'''Grandma''': They're here? Oh, my goodness! Geroge. <hr width="50%"/> :''[The girls furrow their brows slightly, eyes closed, as they "use their imaginations". Cody finds this amusing. Abby opens one eye long enough to give her brother a dirty look, then both girls redouble their efforts - eyes tightly shut, faces humorously scrunched.]'' :'''Cody''': Gee, ''no'' Barney? Maybe you're ''not'' trying hard ''enough''! :''[From the GIRLS POV, we see Cody laughing. But behind him, as soon as they hear the shower turning on, all three kids react with surprise. Cody slowly turns around to look. We see a CLOSE UP of the bathtub's legs... as they VISIBLY BEND under immense weight! The girls open their eyes, slack-jawed, and the water turns off. A pregnant moment ticks by, and Cody s-l-o-w-l-y starts to reach for the curtain’s edge. Suddenly, a purple hand pulls back the curtain! We see BARNEY, still with some drops of water on him. Cody falls to the floor in surprise, and Marcella and Abby are amazed.]'' :'''Barney''': ''[jolly]'' A towel, please! ''[At this pedestrian request, the two girls smile... then begin to laugh. Cody remains stunned - his hand still outstretched. Barney starts to climb from the tub. CLOSE-UP of tub legs as they flex back up to normal position. Marcella grabs a BATH TOWEL and hands it to Barney.]'' Thank you, Marcella! :'''Marcella''': ''[As Barney buffs himself dry with the towel, she says...]'' He knows my name. :''[Barney notices that Cody is still standing with his arm outstretched... and nicely drapes the moist towel over it.]'' :'''Barney''': Oh, and thank you, Cody! It's so nice to have a shower after a long car trip. Now, what were we playing before, Abby? :'''Abby''': We were playing a game of pretend, remember? :'''Barney''': Oh, right! I just love to pretend. :'''Marcella''': Hey, why don't we go play in the barn? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cody''': Okay, "Barney"... you're really here, 'cause in ''my'' imagination... then you're about to disappear! :'''Abby/Marcella''': Co-dy! :''[Cody scrunches his eyes tightly shut.]'' :'''Cody''': I... do... ''not''... believe in you! :''[Cody slowly opens his eyes. From Cody's POV, we see Marcella and Abby looking at him with faint annoyance. Barney is noticeably absent between them. Cody smiles with relief... then is suddenly startled when Barney leans into frame and puts a hand on Cody's shoulder! The two are practically nose to nose.]'' :'''Barney''': ''[Warm & Significant]'' That's okay, Cody. ''[a beat]'' I believe in you... :''[He chuckles as he gives Cody a Barney-sized hug.]'' :'''Cody''': ''[grumps]'' Barney the Dinosaur is ''not'' in this barn! :''[That night, after dinner...]'' :'''Cody''': I'm telling you, Barney's in your barn. :'''Grandma''': I know. Cody, you told us at dinner. :'''Grandpa''': Several times. :'''Cody''': Listen to me, Grandma, Grandpa. Barney the Dinosaur is in ''your'' barn! ( ''no audio'' ) ''Isn't he?'' :'''Grandma''': Marcella, don't leave your little doll. :'''Cody''': <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cody''': I wish! Wish! I wish could have are real adventure this summer! Do things that no one else has done before! That would be cool! How's that for a wish, Barney? Barney? Barney? ( ''sighs'' ) Man, I must be lose it! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cody''': ''[sighs]'' Whoa! ''[pail shakes]'' :'''Cody''': What's going on? ''[Barney whimpering]'' :'''Barney''': Well! Uh, Um, To tell you the truth! I, Uh. :'''Marcella''': Hey, maybe it'll Grandma will know. :'''Abby''': Let's go ask her. :'''Barney''': Oh, Okay. ''[Cody spins Barney around then his farmer suit disappear back to himself again]'' Wait for me! ''[Barney runs out of the barn after the kids]'' ''[footsteps running]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cody''': Well, Barney has ''it''! :'''Grandpa''': Right! Where's Barney? :'''Cody''': I'll go find out! Make sure they ''don't'' go anywhere! :'''Abby''': You have to see this egg. :'''Marcella''': What bird lady? :'''Grandma''': She's a birdwatcher, dear, and I think she knows everything and eggs and birds. Why don't you children go on over there? :'''Cody''': Never mild. I'm taking ''you'' to see my grandparents right now. :'''Barney''': Oh, well, good. Bye, Fig. I'll just, uh... :'''Cody''': Oh, Grandma will be in a second, okay? Hey, wait for me! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Abby''': To take the egg to Ms. Goldfinch! Hurry up! :'''Barney''': Okay! :'''Cody''': Wait! I want Grandma and Grandpa to see it right now! :'''Barney''': Oh! :'''Cody''': Grandma! ''[evil thunderclaps to at once]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Barney''': Come on, Agnes. :'''Marcella''': We have much farther to go. :'''Abby''': I don't think so. :'''Cody''': I don't remember it looking like this last year. :'''Marcella''': Maybe, we're lost. :'''Abby''': Barney? :''[Abby and Marcella, except Cody, shouted at Barney]'' :'''Barney''': Look what I found! ''[Barney moves the branch up and the swan sign said Goldfinch]'' That way. :'''Cody''': There is no that way. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Barney''': Well, the egg is hatch, when all five of these rings light up. But it'll only hatch in the very spot where Cody it. :'''Abby''': In the barn! :'''Ms. Goldfinch''': Oh, Hovering hummingbirds, You're right! There's three more to go! Oh, you better get that egg back to the barn right away! :'''Cody''': Oh, come on! You're dreaming if you think that-- :'''Ms. Goldfinch''': Cody, be careful! :'''Barney''': Oh, no! :'''Marcella''': Oh, no! No, no! :'''Abby''': No, no, no! :'''Marcella''': No! :'''Cody''': No, stop! :'''Marcella''': No! :'''Children''': No! :'''Miss Goldfinch''': Go, go, go! :'''Cody''': I'm taking the fast way! :'''Mr. Millet''': See you, Miss Goldfinch! :'''Barney''': No, wait, Mr. Millet, stop! You've got our egg! :'''Girls''': Mr. Millet, stop! You've got our egg! :'''Abby''': Don't let him get away! :'''Marcella''': Stop, stop! :'''Barney''': Oh, no! Mr. Millet! :'''Cody''': Come back here, Mr. Millet! Come on, let's get on a horse and go! :'''Abby''': But we can't all ride on Agnes! ''[crowd cheering]'' :'''Baby Bop''': ''Excuse me.'' Uh, I said excuse me! ''[cheering stops]'' :'''Baby Bop''': Oh, that's better. I'm looking for my blankie. It's big, and it's ''really, really'' soft and it's yellow. ''[giggles]'' Do you know where my blankie is? :'''All Crowd''': No, we don't! :'''Baby Bop''': Oh, well... uh, thank you. Okay, you can go on now. ''[crowd cheers']'' :'''Barney''': Mr. Millet, Mr. Millet! Stop! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Abby''': Oh, I can't look! :'''Marcella''': Oh, tell me when it's over! :'''Barney''': Oh, that's very impressive! :'''Cody''': Hey, don't scramble our egg! :'''Barney''': No, stop! Oh! Oh, look, it's turning green! :'''Abby''': That's number three! :'''Marcella''': Oh, just two more to go! :'''Cody''': Hey, where'd it go? :'''Barney''': But I don't know! :'''Marcella''': Look, there it is! No, mister, don't do it! :'''Cody''': No! :'''Marching Band Musician''': ''[blows sousaphone]'' :'''Children''': No, mister, don't blow! :'''Marching Band Musician''': ''[He blows stuck harder and egg lands out of a sousaphone...]'' :'''Barney''': Go after it! Come on! :'''Cody''': Let's go get it! Let's go! :'''Barney''': Oh, hurry! :'''Abby''': Where is it? :'''Barney''': Oh, there it goes! :'''Football Player B.J.''': ''[and it lands on his hands.]'' Wide open! Touchdown! Ha-ha! Yeah! :'''Cody''': What? :'''Girls''': B.J.? :'''Football Player B.J.''': B.J. makes the play of the game! The world's greatest football player, B.J.! Yeah! :'''Abby''': Great catch, B.J.! :'''Football Player B.J.''': You should see me throw! ''[He throws the egg...]'' :'''Barney''': What? :'''Abby''': No! :'''Barney''': Oh, no! :'''Cody''': No! ''[it rolls on Chez Snobbe's roof and it lands on a woman's hat.]'' It's on that woman's hat! :'''Barney''': Well, she's going into that restaurant! :'''Marcella''': What are we waiting for? Let's go! :'''Barney''': Quick, after her! :'''Cody''': Yeah, come on, hurry up! :'''Football Player B.J.''': Oh, man, I'm really, really sorry! :'''Barney''': Oh, that's okay, B.J., you didn't mean to do anything wrong. :'''Football Player B.J.''': But Barney, I... :'''Barney''': I gotta go, bye! Wait for me! :'''Football Player B.J.''': Okay. :'''Abby''': Where's the egg? I don't see it. :'''Barney''': Very fancy! :'''Abby''': There it is! :'''Cody''': Let's go get it! :''[Woman laughs and on top of waiter's dish and tray]'' :'''Waiter''': Welcome to Chez Snobbe. Come right this way, please. :'''Abby''': Where's the egg? :'''Marcella''': We're just gonna have to look. :'''Barney''': Maybe I could create a little distraction to get everyone's attention. :'''Cody''': Man, they're gonna throw us outta here for sure. Well, what exactly are you gonna do, Barney? :'''Abby''': Barney, where'd he go? :'''Cody''': Barney? :'''Abby''': Barney, here is he? :'''Marcella''': Look! :'''Barney''': Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of Chez Snobbe, I'd like to invite you to sing along... with one of the all-time great musical masterpieces. Maestro? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cody''': What's he doing up there? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Children''': Now's our chance! That's the distraction! Come on, guys! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cody''': Eww! Not in there. Enjoy your thing! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Marcella''': Eww, snails? You really eat this stuff? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Abby''': We looked all over and we can't find it anywhere! :'''Barney''': Look, there it is! Quick, after it! Thank you! Thank you! :'''French Waiter''': ''[speaking French meaning "My friends, from the bottom of my heart, you are purple and magnificent!"]'' :'''Barney''': ''[specking French meaning "Ah, Sir, you are too kind. The pleasure is all ours."]'' :'''Children''': There it is, Barney! :'''Barney''': Oh, look, May I? Salmon? Oh, where's the egg? :'''Waiter''': Oh, that great big colorful thing? :'''Together''': Yes! :'''Waiter''': We put it in a "to-go" sack. :'''Abby''': What? :'''Waiter''': We sent it back to those clowns at the circus. :'''Together''': The circus? :'''Waiter''': They've been playing tricks on us... ever since they got to town. It's one of their take-out orders. ''[laughs]'' Wait until they crack it open. :'''Children''': Crack it open?? :'''Barney''': What?? Oh, I don't like the sound of that! Come on, everybody! Bye-bye! So long! :'''Acrobat''': Thank you! :'''Chez Snobbe Delivery Man''': There you go! :'''Unicycle''': Oh, thank you! :'''Cody''': It's got to be in one of those bags. :'''Abby''': Let's split up. I'll go with Marcella. :'''Marcella''': And you two go together. :'''Barney''': Okay! Wait, this way. :'''Abby''': Did you see an egg about this big it has stripes on it? :'''Man''': No, no, no. :'''Marcella''': Look, look in the bag. Turn it, turn it... ''[sighs]'' :'''Cody''': Very colorful stripes around it. :'''Barney''': Sure, have you seen that? :'''Cody''': Yeah! :'''Marcella''': Um, have you seen our egg it's about this big? :'''Contortionist''': No! :'''Abby''': Mister, have you seen our egg has colorful rings on it? :'''Barney''': Excuse me, could you help me out? I'm looking for an egg. I really need to find it. :''[squeaks]'' :'''BOTH''': No! :'''Unicycle holding a sandwich''': No! :'''Trampolinist''': No! :'''BOTH''': Did you find it? Did you guys find it? I didn't see it anywhere. :'''Marcella''': There it is! There it is! :'''Barney''': Oh, quick, get it! Get it! :'''Cody''': Hurry! Get it! Hurry! :'''Barney''': Oh, no! There it goes. :'''Marcella''': Come on, get it! Hurry! :'''Abby''': Somebody catch it. :''[bounce]'' :'''Barney''': Nice bounce! Whoa! Oh! Oh, stop it, no! Go after it. Excuse me. :'''Juggler''': Wow! You caught me by surprise, my large purple friend. I like surprises. Surprises are for birthdays and birthdays go with cakes. :'''Abby''': But, mister-- :'''Juggler''': Whoa! ''[birthday cake drops]'' What is it, young lady? :'''Abby''': That's our egg you're juggling. :'''Juggler''': That's good, I like eggs. Eggs are for breakfast and that means frying pans. :'''Marcella''': It's a dream maker! :'''Abby''': Please, I'm worried about it. :'''Juggler''': Well, young lady, if there's a sudden gust of gravity, will the dream maker bounce? :'''Abby''': No! :'''Juggler''': Then we're both worried about it. There is a way to stop... called the Peking Duck trick. :'''Barney''': How does that go? :'''Juggler''': The Peking Duck trick goes like this. First you all close your eyes. Are you peeking? :'''BOTH''': No! :'''Juggler''': Than duck... :'''BOTH''': Oh! :'''Barney''': Oh! Hmm, oh! ''[thunderclaps]'' Where'd it go? Where's the egg? :'''Cody''': Where's the egg? :'''Barney''': I don't-- :'''BOTH''': Where's the juggler? :'''Abby''': Uh, please? :'''Barney''': Well, oh, no. :'''Cody''': Oh, great. Oh, no. :'''Barney''': Come on, everybody, let's go! :'''Cody''': Come on! Let's go under the tent! Let's go in here for a while. :'''Barney''': Oh, sorry. Oh, hurry. Oh, whew. :'''Cody''': This is not good. :'''Marcella''': It's just... gone. :'''Abby''': We've lost the egg again and this time we're never going to find it. :'''Barney''': Well, don't give up. ''[light snaps]'' When the rain stops, we can look around some more and then maybe we can find it. :'''Cody''': ''[enraged]'' We already looked around! We're not gonna find it, we've lost it!! :'''Abby''': ''[mad]'' You don't even wanna find it, you never did!! It was crazy kid stuff!! :'''Cody''': ''[angrily scolding]'' WAIT! NO!!! :'''Abby''': ''[gets angrier]'' What's wrong with just being a kid, Cody? What's wrong with that? ''[Abby's anger turned to sadness and a tear rolled down from her eye. Barney walks up to Abby and kneels down to her and gently comfort her.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Marcella''': Okay, all aboard the log. :'''Abby''': Okay! :'''Barney''': Okay! :'''Abby''': Make believe. Make believe. :'''Marcella''': Flying with the wind I'm our hair. :'''Barney''': Oh, I think we need your help. I'd like you to pretend that we can really fly. Let's all do it together. Ready? <math>1</math>, <math>2</math>, <math>3</math>, now! ''[music playing and chorus vocalizing softly]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Barney''': But-- huh? ''Oh, no!'' Excuse me. I'm fine. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hot Air Balloon Collector''': Good luck! :'''Abby/Marcella''': Oh, no! He let it go too soon! :'''Barney''': Come on, Cody! Get under it! :'''Cody''': Go! :'''Marcella''': Faster, Cody, faster! We got to get under it, Cody! :'''Barney''': Hurry! Whoa! :'''Abby/Marcella''': Faster! Go! Go! Go! Hurry! :'''Barney''': Cody, you'd better watch it! :'''Cody''': I'm gonna break the sound barrier! :'''Barney''': That's it! Faster! :''' Cody''': ''[screaming]'' :'''Barney''': Faster! :'''Abby/Marcella''': Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Come on, Cody! :'''Barney''': Okay, Get ready now! We're almost there, keep going! Okay, Abby. Okay, Marcella, catch it. :'''Abby''': Go! :'''Barney''': Come on! :'''Abby''': Got it! :'''Barney''': That's it! :'''Marcella''': Yeah! :'''Barney''': Way to go, Abby! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Barney''': Yes, I know. A lot of hay. :'''Grandma''': What is it? Where it come from? :'''Barney''': ''[chuckles]'' :'''BJ''': Look out, below! Yahoo! :'''Barney''': ''[chuckles]'' :'''Marcella''': Cool! :'''Abby/Marcella''': ''[laughs]'' :'''Barney''': ''[chuckles again]'' :'''BJ''': Hi, guys was that cool or what? Whoa! :'''Barney''': Hi, B.J.! :'''BJ''': Alright! Hi, Barney! :'''Grandpa''': Whoa, hold it, let's start over again, this is all about an egg? :'''Barney''': That's right! :'''BJ''': Hey, where is it? :'''Marcella''': It's right here! :'''Cody''': It got away from us for a while but we finally found it. :'''Grandma''': Oh, my, what's it doing? :'''Barney''': The last ring is light up! ''[music playing and chorus vocalizing softly]'' :'''Marcella''': It's time for the dream maker to hatch. :'''Abby''': Quick, Cody. You've gotta put the egg back... exactly where you found it. :'''Barney''': Oh, hurry. Oh... come on! :'''BJ''': Go, Cody! :'''Cody''': No problem. The egg was right here. (He throws the egg and it lands on Baby Bop's blanket) :'''Barney''': Cody! :'''Cody''': No! :'''Baby Bop''': Oh, look, I found my blankie! :'''All''': Yeah! :'''Cody''': Yes! :'''Abby''': Yeah! Hey, come on! :''[all chattering]'' :'''Baby Bop''': Did I do something good? :'''Abby/Marcella''': Yeah! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cody''': Barney? :'''Barney''': Yes, Cody? :'''Cody''': I'd just like to say that... I guess I was a big duofus before and I think you're pretty cool. :'''Barney''': Oh, thank you, Cody. I think you're pretty cool, too. :'''Marcella''': Hey, Barney, now can we see your dream? :'''Abby''': Hey, where's Twinken? We want to see Barney’s dream. :'''Barney''': Twinken is gone? :'''Baby Bop''': Where is he? :'''B.J.''': Twinken! :'''Barney''': I don't know. :'''Baby Bop''': Twinken? :'''Barney''': Twinken? :'''Baby Bop''': Here, Twinken! :'''Barney''': Twinken! :'''Cody''': He's got away! :'''Barney''': Oh, oh, no! :'''Grandma''': Where is he going? :'''Cody''': Where's Twinken? :'''Abby''': There is he, over the house. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Baby Bop''': Good night, everybody! Good night, Twinken! :''[Twinken is waving goodbye before Barney and Twinken are about to transform into toy forms and Baby Bop and BJ are going to disappear]'' :'''BJ:''': We'll see you later, guys! ''[no audio]'' :'''Baby Bop''': Bye-bye! :''[everyone is leaving while we say goodbye]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[last lines]'' :'''Grandpa''': ''[laughs]'' Barney, this is the-- ''[they realized Barney is gone]'' Where is he? Well, now they're both gone! :'''Abby''': Well, Barney wouldn't just leave! :'''Grandma''': No!!! :'''Baby Fig''': ''[garbled]'' Barney. :''[Everyone saw Twinken and Barney now back to his doll form]'' :'''Baby Fig''': ''[coos]'' ==Taglines== * Barney's First Movie Ever! * An adventure as big as your imagination. ==Cast== ===Live Action Cast=== The Newton Family * [[w:Trevor Morgan|Trevor Morgan]] - Cody Newton * Diana Rice - Abby Newton * Alan Fawcett - Dad (Mr. Newton) * Jane Wheeler - Mom (Mrs. Newton) * David and Edouard Larouche - Fig Newton * [[w:Kyla Pratt|Kyla Pratt]] - Marcella Walker The Greenfield Family * [[w:George Hearn|George Hearn]] - Grandpa Greenfield * [[w:Shirley Douglas|Shirley Douglas]] - Grandma Greenfield ===Voices=== * [[w:David Joyner|David Joyner]] - Barney ** Bob West * Jeff Ayers - Baby Bop ** Julie Johnson * Jeff Brooks - B.J. ** Patty Wirtz ==Songs== # Barney - The Song # Imagine # Let Me Call You Sweetheart # Twinkle Twinkle Little Star # Old MacDonald Had a Farm # If You're Happy and You Know It # Who's Inside It? # If All the Raindrops # We're Gonna Find a Way # I Love You ==External links== {{wikipedia}} [[Category:Films about nighthall songs]] [[Category:Films set on airplanes]] [[Category:1998 films]] [[Category:Children's films]] [[Category:1990s American films]] [[Category:British films]] [[Category:Films about gone and off-screen]] [[Category:Canadian films]] [[Category:Adventure films]] [[Category:Fantasy films]] [[Category:Musical films]] [[Category:Comedy films]] [[Category:Films featuring puppetry]] [[Category:Films based on television series]] [[Category:Films about dinosaurs]] [[Category:Films about friendship]] 61rjng9w94mwdeioogq4jdy92irnnj9 3942151 3942150 2026-05-17T20:13:42Z ~2026-14851-90 3300450 /* Live Action Cast */ 3942151 wikitext text/x-wiki {{cleanup}} '''''[[w:Barney's Great Adventure|Barney's Great Adventure]]''''' is a Canadian musical [[w:Comdey film|comedy]] adventure based on the [[w:Children's television series|children's television series]] ''[[Barney & Friends]]'', featuring the character [[w:Barney the Dinosaur|Barney the Dinosaur]]. The film was written by [[w:Stephen White (television writer)|Stephen White]], directed by [[w:Steve Gomer|Steve Gomer]], produced by [[w:Sheryl Leach|Sheryl Leach]] and [[w:Lyrick Studios|Lyrick Studios]] and released by [[w:Universal Pictures|Universal Pictures]] from 2000 to 2021 and [[w:PolyGram Filmed Entertainment|PolyGram Filmed Entertainment]] from 1998 to 2000 in the United States and Canada at the height of Barney's popularity. {{center|'''An adventure as big as your imagination.'''}} == Barney the Dinosaur == * A towel, please. Thank you, Marcella. ''[giggles]'' Oh, thank you, Cody. It's so nice to have a shower after a long trip. Oh, right. I just love to pretend. * It's beautiful. Whoops. Uh-uh, sorry. * Ralphie, a little guitar music, please. * Well, actually, I think it it was a flea. * ''[evil groans]'' Huh? Oh, no! ''No!'' I gotta get driving lessons. Oh, I'm fine. Wait for minute. I don't know. * Hmm… Well, don't give up. ''[snaps]'' When, the rain stops, we can go, hurry back outside, and look around some more, and then, maybe, we can find it. * Aw... I know how you feel about losing something, Abby. But, cheer up! We’ll find that egg. You know we will! Don’t cry! * ''Oh, that's ring number four. Only one more to go.'' Come back! Please! You can't our egg! No. * Right! Yes! * Okay. * Oh, I think we need your help. I'd like you to pretend that we can really fly. Let's all do it together. Ready? 1... 2... 3... Now! Thank you! * We're gonna hit... the haystack! * They're gonna fancy dance right on top of the egg. * ''Oh, look. It's turning <span style=color:green>green</span>. * Well, don't give up. ( ''snaps'' ) When the rain stops, hopefully we can go hurry back outside and look around some more, and then maybe we can find it. * It's cracking. == BJ == == Baby Bop == * ''Excuse me.'' Uh, I said excuse me! Oh, that's better. I'm looking for my blankie. It's this big, and it's ''really, really'' soft, and it's yellow. ''[giggles]'' * Do you know where my blankie is? * Oh, well... uh, thank you. Okay, you can go on now. * It's wiggling. == Grandpa Greenfield == * Eliza... the kids are here. Shake a leg now. * Much. Come on. * Yes. Don't worry. Everything will be okay. Cody. Tiger. Come on. == Grandma Greenfield== * They're here? Oh, my goodness. George, do I look all right? * I know, Cody. You told us at dinner. * Well, I'm glad he likes it. Marcella, don't leave you little doll out there all night. * Now, Cody, I did notice at the table... that someone ate like a dinosaur tonight. * She's a birdwatcher, dear, and I think that she knows everything about eggs and birds. Why don't you on over there? * George, what is it? * My stars! What happened? All you all right? ==Dialogue== :''[first lines]'' :'''Barney''': Oh, boy! It looks like everybody's here! :'''BJ:''': Oh, man, this is gonna be so cool! :'''Baby Bop''': Oh, I can't wait to eat popcorn and sing along and... oh, and see the movie! :''[All three of them laugh.]'' :'''Barney''': Well then, here we go! :'''Baby Bop''': Roll 'em! :''[The screen fades from black. During the song that plays throughout the opening credits, we see a green minivan drive through the countryside and the title kicks in. In the minivan, a dad drives, a mom looks at a map, a girl holds Barney (as a doll), another girl stitches lanyard, while a boy plays on his GameBoy, and a baby sits in his seat, silently.]'' :'''Marcella''': Are we there yet? :'''Kate Newton''': Your turn. :'''Colton Newton''': No, not yet, Marcella. :'''Abigail "Abby" Newton''': Oh, it's taking too long! :'''Cody Newton''': ''[annoyed, to Abigail]'' What's your hurry?? They're dumping us for a whole week! :'''Colton''': Oh, come on Cody, you're going to have a great time. You can help Grandpa with the farm chores, like, uh... "milking the chickens!" :'''Others''': ''[laugh]'' :'''Cody''': Get the doll out of my face! :''[Marcella takes the Barney doll out of Cody's face, just as she and Abby are about to say...]'' :'''Abby/Marcella''': Talk to the hand, 'cause the face ain't home, leave a message at the tone: beep! ''[both laugh: What they were going to say was "Abby and Marcella can't come to the phone. Please leave a message after the beep... beep! If you are satisfied with your message, press one or hang up!"]'' :'''Marcella''': Do you like dinosaurs? :'''Cody''': What about them? :'''Abby''': That's Barney! :'''Cody''': I know it's Barney. The ''whole world'' knows it's Barney, and he's a stuffed doll! :'''Marcella''': You're wrong. Barney can walk and talk. :'''Abby''': And sing! And dance! :'''Colton''': Batteries not included. :''[Laughter from Marcella, Abby and Kate]'' :'''Cody''': Sing and dance? :'''Abby''': We use our imaginations. :'''Cody''': Your imaginations? That's kid stuff! :'''Abby''': That's all right - we ''are'' kids! ''[she laughs with Marcella as the family pass a street in the town of Merrivale. There's a sign above them reading "Merrivale Apple Day Festival"]'' :'''Colton''': Hey, look, Merrivale Apple Day Festival - parade, circus, hot air balloons, fireworks... wow! :'''Abby''': It's tomorrow! Can Grandma and Grandpa bring us? :'''Colton''': Um... :'''Kate Newton''': Well, maybe, but don't count on it, okay? :'''Cody''': Oh, great! The one ''good'' to do in town, and we'll probably miss it! :'''Grandpa''': Delilah, the kids are here, shake a leg now! :'''Grandma''': They're here? Oh, my goodness! Geroge. <hr width="50%"/> :''[The girls furrow their brows slightly, eyes closed, as they "use their imaginations". Cody finds this amusing. Abby opens one eye long enough to give her brother a dirty look, then both girls redouble their efforts - eyes tightly shut, faces humorously scrunched.]'' :'''Cody''': Gee, ''no'' Barney? Maybe you're ''not'' trying hard ''enough''! :''[From the GIRLS POV, we see Cody laughing. But behind him, as soon as they hear the shower turning on, all three kids react with surprise. Cody slowly turns around to look. We see a CLOSE UP of the bathtub's legs... as they VISIBLY BEND under immense weight! The girls open their eyes, slack-jawed, and the water turns off. A pregnant moment ticks by, and Cody s-l-o-w-l-y starts to reach for the curtain’s edge. Suddenly, a purple hand pulls back the curtain! We see BARNEY, still with some drops of water on him. Cody falls to the floor in surprise, and Marcella and Abby are amazed.]'' :'''Barney''': ''[jolly]'' A towel, please! ''[At this pedestrian request, the two girls smile... then begin to laugh. Cody remains stunned - his hand still outstretched. Barney starts to climb from the tub. CLOSE-UP of tub legs as they flex back up to normal position. Marcella grabs a BATH TOWEL and hands it to Barney.]'' Thank you, Marcella! :'''Marcella''': ''[As Barney buffs himself dry with the towel, she says...]'' He knows my name. :''[Barney notices that Cody is still standing with his arm outstretched... and nicely drapes the moist towel over it.]'' :'''Barney''': Oh, and thank you, Cody! It's so nice to have a shower after a long car trip. Now, what were we playing before, Abby? :'''Abby''': We were playing a game of pretend, remember? :'''Barney''': Oh, right! I just love to pretend. :'''Marcella''': Hey, why don't we go play in the barn? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cody''': Okay, "Barney"... you're really here, 'cause in ''my'' imagination... then you're about to disappear! :'''Abby/Marcella''': Co-dy! :''[Cody scrunches his eyes tightly shut.]'' :'''Cody''': I... do... ''not''... believe in you! :''[Cody slowly opens his eyes. From Cody's POV, we see Marcella and Abby looking at him with faint annoyance. Barney is noticeably absent between them. Cody smiles with relief... then is suddenly startled when Barney leans into frame and puts a hand on Cody's shoulder! The two are practically nose to nose.]'' :'''Barney''': ''[Warm & Significant]'' That's okay, Cody. ''[a beat]'' I believe in you... :''[He chuckles as he gives Cody a Barney-sized hug.]'' :'''Cody''': ''[grumps]'' Barney the Dinosaur is ''not'' in this barn! :''[That night, after dinner...]'' :'''Cody''': I'm telling you, Barney's in your barn. :'''Grandma''': I know. Cody, you told us at dinner. :'''Grandpa''': Several times. :'''Cody''': Listen to me, Grandma, Grandpa. Barney the Dinosaur is in ''your'' barn! ( ''no audio'' ) ''Isn't he?'' :'''Grandma''': Marcella, don't leave your little doll. :'''Cody''': <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cody''': I wish! Wish! I wish could have are real adventure this summer! Do things that no one else has done before! That would be cool! How's that for a wish, Barney? Barney? Barney? ( ''sighs'' ) Man, I must be lose it! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cody''': ''[sighs]'' Whoa! ''[pail shakes]'' :'''Cody''': What's going on? ''[Barney whimpering]'' :'''Barney''': Well! Uh, Um, To tell you the truth! I, Uh. :'''Marcella''': Hey, maybe it'll Grandma will know. :'''Abby''': Let's go ask her. :'''Barney''': Oh, Okay. ''[Cody spins Barney around then his farmer suit disappear back to himself again]'' Wait for me! ''[Barney runs out of the barn after the kids]'' ''[footsteps running]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cody''': Well, Barney has ''it''! :'''Grandpa''': Right! Where's Barney? :'''Cody''': I'll go find out! Make sure they ''don't'' go anywhere! :'''Abby''': You have to see this egg. :'''Marcella''': What bird lady? :'''Grandma''': She's a birdwatcher, dear, and I think she knows everything and eggs and birds. Why don't you children go on over there? :'''Cody''': Never mild. I'm taking ''you'' to see my grandparents right now. :'''Barney''': Oh, well, good. Bye, Fig. I'll just, uh... :'''Cody''': Oh, Grandma will be in a second, okay? Hey, wait for me! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Abby''': To take the egg to Ms. Goldfinch! Hurry up! :'''Barney''': Okay! :'''Cody''': Wait! I want Grandma and Grandpa to see it right now! :'''Barney''': Oh! :'''Cody''': Grandma! ''[evil thunderclaps to at once]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Barney''': Come on, Agnes. :'''Marcella''': We have much farther to go. :'''Abby''': I don't think so. :'''Cody''': I don't remember it looking like this last year. :'''Marcella''': Maybe, we're lost. :'''Abby''': Barney? :''[Abby and Marcella, except Cody, shouted at Barney]'' :'''Barney''': Look what I found! ''[Barney moves the branch up and the swan sign said Goldfinch]'' That way. :'''Cody''': There is no that way. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Barney''': Well, the egg is hatch, when all five of these rings light up. But it'll only hatch in the very spot where Cody it. :'''Abby''': In the barn! :'''Ms. Goldfinch''': Oh, Hovering hummingbirds, You're right! There's three more to go! Oh, you better get that egg back to the barn right away! :'''Cody''': Oh, come on! You're dreaming if you think that-- :'''Ms. Goldfinch''': Cody, be careful! :'''Barney''': Oh, no! :'''Marcella''': Oh, no! No, no! :'''Abby''': No, no, no! :'''Marcella''': No! :'''Cody''': No, stop! :'''Marcella''': No! :'''Children''': No! :'''Miss Goldfinch''': Go, go, go! :'''Cody''': I'm taking the fast way! :'''Mr. Millet''': See you, Miss Goldfinch! :'''Barney''': No, wait, Mr. Millet, stop! You've got our egg! :'''Girls''': Mr. Millet, stop! You've got our egg! :'''Abby''': Don't let him get away! :'''Marcella''': Stop, stop! :'''Barney''': Oh, no! Mr. Millet! :'''Cody''': Come back here, Mr. Millet! Come on, let's get on a horse and go! :'''Abby''': But we can't all ride on Agnes! ''[crowd cheering]'' :'''Baby Bop''': ''Excuse me.'' Uh, I said excuse me! ''[cheering stops]'' :'''Baby Bop''': Oh, that's better. I'm looking for my blankie. It's big, and it's ''really, really'' soft and it's yellow. ''[giggles]'' Do you know where my blankie is? :'''All Crowd''': No, we don't! :'''Baby Bop''': Oh, well... uh, thank you. Okay, you can go on now. ''[crowd cheers']'' :'''Barney''': Mr. Millet, Mr. Millet! Stop! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Abby''': Oh, I can't look! :'''Marcella''': Oh, tell me when it's over! :'''Barney''': Oh, that's very impressive! :'''Cody''': Hey, don't scramble our egg! :'''Barney''': No, stop! Oh! Oh, look, it's turning green! :'''Abby''': That's number three! :'''Marcella''': Oh, just two more to go! :'''Cody''': Hey, where'd it go? :'''Barney''': But I don't know! :'''Marcella''': Look, there it is! No, mister, don't do it! :'''Cody''': No! :'''Marching Band Musician''': ''[blows sousaphone]'' :'''Children''': No, mister, don't blow! :'''Marching Band Musician''': ''[He blows stuck harder and egg lands out of a sousaphone...]'' :'''Barney''': Go after it! Come on! :'''Cody''': Let's go get it! Let's go! :'''Barney''': Oh, hurry! :'''Abby''': Where is it? :'''Barney''': Oh, there it goes! :'''Football Player B.J.''': ''[and it lands on his hands.]'' Wide open! Touchdown! Ha-ha! Yeah! :'''Cody''': What? :'''Girls''': B.J.? :'''Football Player B.J.''': B.J. makes the play of the game! The world's greatest football player, B.J.! Yeah! :'''Abby''': Great catch, B.J.! :'''Football Player B.J.''': You should see me throw! ''[He throws the egg...]'' :'''Barney''': What? :'''Abby''': No! :'''Barney''': Oh, no! :'''Cody''': No! ''[it rolls on Chez Snobbe's roof and it lands on a woman's hat.]'' It's on that woman's hat! :'''Barney''': Well, she's going into that restaurant! :'''Marcella''': What are we waiting for? Let's go! :'''Barney''': Quick, after her! :'''Cody''': Yeah, come on, hurry up! :'''Football Player B.J.''': Oh, man, I'm really, really sorry! :'''Barney''': Oh, that's okay, B.J., you didn't mean to do anything wrong. :'''Football Player B.J.''': But Barney, I... :'''Barney''': I gotta go, bye! Wait for me! :'''Football Player B.J.''': Okay. :'''Abby''': Where's the egg? I don't see it. :'''Barney''': Very fancy! :'''Abby''': There it is! :'''Cody''': Let's go get it! :''[Woman laughs and on top of waiter's dish and tray]'' :'''Waiter''': Welcome to Chez Snobbe. Come right this way, please. :'''Abby''': Where's the egg? :'''Marcella''': We're just gonna have to look. :'''Barney''': Maybe I could create a little distraction to get everyone's attention. :'''Cody''': Man, they're gonna throw us outta here for sure. Well, what exactly are you gonna do, Barney? :'''Abby''': Barney, where'd he go? :'''Cody''': Barney? :'''Abby''': Barney, here is he? :'''Marcella''': Look! :'''Barney''': Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of Chez Snobbe, I'd like to invite you to sing along... with one of the all-time great musical masterpieces. Maestro? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cody''': What's he doing up there? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Children''': Now's our chance! That's the distraction! Come on, guys! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cody''': Eww! Not in there. Enjoy your thing! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Marcella''': Eww, snails? You really eat this stuff? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Abby''': We looked all over and we can't find it anywhere! :'''Barney''': Look, there it is! Quick, after it! Thank you! Thank you! :'''French Waiter''': ''[speaking French meaning "My friends, from the bottom of my heart, you are purple and magnificent!"]'' :'''Barney''': ''[specking French meaning "Ah, Sir, you are too kind. The pleasure is all ours."]'' :'''Children''': There it is, Barney! :'''Barney''': Oh, look, May I? Salmon? Oh, where's the egg? :'''Waiter''': Oh, that great big colorful thing? :'''Together''': Yes! :'''Waiter''': We put it in a "to-go" sack. :'''Abby''': What? :'''Waiter''': We sent it back to those clowns at the circus. :'''Together''': The circus? :'''Waiter''': They've been playing tricks on us... ever since they got to town. It's one of their take-out orders. ''[laughs]'' Wait until they crack it open. :'''Children''': Crack it open?? :'''Barney''': What?? Oh, I don't like the sound of that! Come on, everybody! Bye-bye! So long! :'''Acrobat''': Thank you! :'''Chez Snobbe Delivery Man''': There you go! :'''Unicycle''': Oh, thank you! :'''Cody''': It's got to be in one of those bags. :'''Abby''': Let's split up. I'll go with Marcella. :'''Marcella''': And you two go together. :'''Barney''': Okay! Wait, this way. :'''Abby''': Did you see an egg about this big it has stripes on it? :'''Man''': No, no, no. :'''Marcella''': Look, look in the bag. Turn it, turn it... ''[sighs]'' :'''Cody''': Very colorful stripes around it. :'''Barney''': Sure, have you seen that? :'''Cody''': Yeah! :'''Marcella''': Um, have you seen our egg it's about this big? :'''Contortionist''': No! :'''Abby''': Mister, have you seen our egg has colorful rings on it? :'''Barney''': Excuse me, could you help me out? I'm looking for an egg. I really need to find it. :''[squeaks]'' :'''BOTH''': No! :'''Unicycle holding a sandwich''': No! :'''Trampolinist''': No! :'''BOTH''': Did you find it? Did you guys find it? I didn't see it anywhere. :'''Marcella''': There it is! There it is! :'''Barney''': Oh, quick, get it! Get it! :'''Cody''': Hurry! Get it! Hurry! :'''Barney''': Oh, no! There it goes. :'''Marcella''': Come on, get it! Hurry! :'''Abby''': Somebody catch it. :''[bounce]'' :'''Barney''': Nice bounce! Whoa! Oh! Oh, stop it, no! Go after it. Excuse me. :'''Juggler''': Wow! You caught me by surprise, my large purple friend. I like surprises. Surprises are for birthdays and birthdays go with cakes. :'''Abby''': But, mister-- :'''Juggler''': Whoa! ''[birthday cake drops]'' What is it, young lady? :'''Abby''': That's our egg you're juggling. :'''Juggler''': That's good, I like eggs. Eggs are for breakfast and that means frying pans. :'''Marcella''': It's a dream maker! :'''Abby''': Please, I'm worried about it. :'''Juggler''': Well, young lady, if there's a sudden gust of gravity, will the dream maker bounce? :'''Abby''': No! :'''Juggler''': Then we're both worried about it. There is a way to stop... called the Peking Duck trick. :'''Barney''': How does that go? :'''Juggler''': The Peking Duck trick goes like this. First you all close your eyes. Are you peeking? :'''BOTH''': No! :'''Juggler''': Than duck... :'''BOTH''': Oh! :'''Barney''': Oh! Hmm, oh! ''[thunderclaps]'' Where'd it go? Where's the egg? :'''Cody''': Where's the egg? :'''Barney''': I don't-- :'''BOTH''': Where's the juggler? :'''Abby''': Uh, please? :'''Barney''': Well, oh, no. :'''Cody''': Oh, great. Oh, no. :'''Barney''': Come on, everybody, let's go! :'''Cody''': Come on! Let's go under the tent! Let's go in here for a while. :'''Barney''': Oh, sorry. Oh, hurry. Oh, whew. :'''Cody''': This is not good. :'''Marcella''': It's just... gone. :'''Abby''': We've lost the egg again and this time we're never going to find it. :'''Barney''': Well, don't give up. ''[light snaps]'' When the rain stops, we can look around some more and then maybe we can find it. :'''Cody''': ''[enraged]'' We already looked around! We're not gonna find it, we've lost it!! :'''Abby''': ''[mad]'' You don't even wanna find it, you never did!! It was crazy kid stuff!! :'''Cody''': ''[angrily scolding]'' WAIT! NO!!! :'''Abby''': ''[gets angrier]'' What's wrong with just being a kid, Cody? What's wrong with that? ''[Abby's anger turned to sadness and a tear rolled down from her eye. Barney walks up to Abby and kneels down to her and gently comfort her.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Marcella''': Okay, all aboard the log. :'''Abby''': Okay! :'''Barney''': Okay! :'''Abby''': Make believe. Make believe. :'''Marcella''': Flying with the wind I'm our hair. :'''Barney''': Oh, I think we need your help. I'd like you to pretend that we can really fly. Let's all do it together. Ready? <math>1</math>, <math>2</math>, <math>3</math>, now! ''[music playing and chorus vocalizing softly]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Barney''': But-- huh? ''Oh, no!'' Excuse me. I'm fine. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Hot Air Balloon Collector''': Good luck! :'''Abby/Marcella''': Oh, no! He let it go too soon! :'''Barney''': Come on, Cody! Get under it! :'''Cody''': Go! :'''Marcella''': Faster, Cody, faster! We got to get under it, Cody! :'''Barney''': Hurry! Whoa! :'''Abby/Marcella''': Faster! Go! Go! Go! Hurry! :'''Barney''': Cody, you'd better watch it! :'''Cody''': I'm gonna break the sound barrier! :'''Barney''': That's it! Faster! :''' Cody''': ''[screaming]'' :'''Barney''': Faster! :'''Abby/Marcella''': Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Come on, Cody! :'''Barney''': Okay, Get ready now! We're almost there, keep going! Okay, Abby. Okay, Marcella, catch it. :'''Abby''': Go! :'''Barney''': Come on! :'''Abby''': Got it! :'''Barney''': That's it! :'''Marcella''': Yeah! :'''Barney''': Way to go, Abby! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Barney''': Yes, I know. A lot of hay. :'''Grandma''': What is it? Where it come from? :'''Barney''': ''[chuckles]'' :'''BJ''': Look out, below! Yahoo! :'''Barney''': ''[chuckles]'' :'''Marcella''': Cool! :'''Abby/Marcella''': ''[laughs]'' :'''Barney''': ''[chuckles again]'' :'''BJ''': Hi, guys was that cool or what? Whoa! :'''Barney''': Hi, B.J.! :'''BJ''': Alright! Hi, Barney! :'''Grandpa''': Whoa, hold it, let's start over again, this is all about an egg? :'''Barney''': That's right! :'''BJ''': Hey, where is it? :'''Marcella''': It's right here! :'''Cody''': It got away from us for a while but we finally found it. :'''Grandma''': Oh, my, what's it doing? :'''Barney''': The last ring is light up! ''[music playing and chorus vocalizing softly]'' :'''Marcella''': It's time for the dream maker to hatch. :'''Abby''': Quick, Cody. You've gotta put the egg back... exactly where you found it. :'''Barney''': Oh, hurry. Oh... come on! :'''BJ''': Go, Cody! :'''Cody''': No problem. The egg was right here. (He throws the egg and it lands on Baby Bop's blanket) :'''Barney''': Cody! :'''Cody''': No! :'''Baby Bop''': Oh, look, I found my blankie! :'''All''': Yeah! :'''Cody''': Yes! :'''Abby''': Yeah! Hey, come on! :''[all chattering]'' :'''Baby Bop''': Did I do something good? :'''Abby/Marcella''': Yeah! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cody''': Barney? :'''Barney''': Yes, Cody? :'''Cody''': I'd just like to say that... I guess I was a big duofus before and I think you're pretty cool. :'''Barney''': Oh, thank you, Cody. I think you're pretty cool, too. :'''Marcella''': Hey, Barney, now can we see your dream? :'''Abby''': Hey, where's Twinken? We want to see Barney’s dream. :'''Barney''': Twinken is gone? :'''Baby Bop''': Where is he? :'''B.J.''': Twinken! :'''Barney''': I don't know. :'''Baby Bop''': Twinken? :'''Barney''': Twinken? :'''Baby Bop''': Here, Twinken! :'''Barney''': Twinken! :'''Cody''': He's got away! :'''Barney''': Oh, oh, no! :'''Grandma''': Where is he going? :'''Cody''': Where's Twinken? :'''Abby''': There is he, over the house. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Baby Bop''': Good night, everybody! Good night, Twinken! :''[Twinken is waving goodbye before Barney and Twinken are about to transform into toy forms and Baby Bop and BJ are going to disappear]'' :'''BJ:''': We'll see you later, guys! ''[no audio]'' :'''Baby Bop''': Bye-bye! :''[everyone is leaving while we say goodbye]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[last lines]'' :'''Grandpa''': ''[laughs]'' Barney, this is the-- ''[they realized Barney is gone]'' Where is he? Well, now they're both gone! :'''Abby''': Well, Barney wouldn't just leave! :'''Grandma''': No!!! :'''Baby Fig''': ''[garbled]'' Barney. :''[Everyone saw Twinken and Barney now back to his doll form]'' :'''Baby Fig''': ''[coos]'' ==Taglines== * Barney's First Movie Ever! * An adventure as big as your imagination. ==Cast== ===Live Action Cast=== The Newton Family * [[w:Trevor Morgan|Trevor Morgan]] - Cody Newton * Diana Rice - Abby Newton * Alan Fawcett - Dad (Mr. Newton) * Jane Wheeler - Mom (Mrs. Newton) * David and Edouard Larouche - Fig Newton * [[w:Kyla Pratt|Kyla Pratt]] - Marcella Walker The Greenfield Family * [[w:George Hearn|George Hearn]] - Grandpa Greenfield * [[w:Shirley Douglas|Shirley Douglas]] - Grandma Greenfield ===Voices=== * [[w:David Joyner|David Joyner]] - Barney ** Bob West * Jeff Ayers - Baby Bop ** Julie Johnson * Jeff Brooks - B.J. ** Patty Wirtz ==Songs== # Barney - The Song # Imagine # Let Me Call You Sweetheart # Twinkle Twinkle Little Star # Old MacDonald Had a Farm # If You're Happy and You Know It # Who's Inside It? # If All the Raindrops # We're Gonna Find a Way # I Love You ==External links== {{wikipedia}} [[Category:Films about nighthall songs]] [[Category:Films set on airplanes]] [[Category:1998 films]] [[Category:Children's films]] [[Category:1990s American films]] [[Category:British films]] [[Category:Films about gone and off-screen]] [[Category:Canadian films]] [[Category:Adventure films]] [[Category:Fantasy films]] [[Category:Musical films]] [[Category:Comedy films]] [[Category:Films featuring puppetry]] [[Category:Films based on television series]] [[Category:Films about dinosaurs]] [[Category:Films about friendship]] ekbg5d84rzrxi1uyzbabgw91p3waj26 0 205459 3942181 3929322 2026-05-17T21:11:19Z Hhrlan23 3222540 3942181 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Wakko's Wish|Animanaics: Wakko's Wakko Wish]]''''', also known as simply '''''Animaniacs: Wakko's Wish''''', '''''Wakko's Wakko Wish''''' or '''''Wakko's Wish''''', is a 1999 animated musical comedy film created exclusively on video. It is based on the animated series ''[[Animaniacs]]''. :''Directed by [[w:Liz Holzman|Liz Holzman]], [[w:Rusty Mills|Rusty Mills]], and [[w:Tom Ruegger|Tom Ruegger]]. Written by [[w:Tom Ruegger|Tom Ruegger]]. {{center|'''Hang On Tight!'''}} ==Dialogue== :'''Yakko''': ''[first lines; to the viewers]'' Hey! What do you want from us? We're freezing here. :'''Voice''': ''[whispers]'' Rosebud. :''[The fire burns the sled]'' <hr width=50%> :'''Brain''': Pinky, I knew I'd find you out here wasting time with this horse. :'''Pinky''': But Phar Fignewton and I have pledged out hearts to each other! :'''Brain''': Pinky, that is a horse. You are a mouse. :'''Pinky''': Oh, Brain, don't be so intolerant. Why can't the horses and the mice live together in harmony? Along with the fairies and the wood sprites and the bean sprouts? :'''Brain''': I stand corrected, Pinky. That is a horse, you are an imbecile. :'''Pinky''': Thank you. <hr width=50%> :''[Yakko sits next to Dot on her bed, her snuggling close to him, as he tells her the story of her birth]'' :'''Yakko''': Okay. Once upon a time, a brave knight married a beautiful princess, and they had two sons. :'''Dot''': But they wanted a daughter, too. :'''Yakko''': Right. So, they planted a garden all over the kingdom, and on the first day of spring, every flower in that garden bloomed. And out of the prettiest flower came... :'''Dot''': Me! :'''Yakko''': Yep! ''[Dot snuggles closer as he hugs her and smiles. Wakko is standing in her bedroom's doorway looking at her in worry of her health, but they don't notice. Yakko continues with the story as Wakko closes the curtains and looks away sadly]'' And so, the knight and his bride, Mom and Dad, took you home. And every night at bedtime, they'd come in and say... ''[rubs noses with Dot]'' "Who's the cutest girl?" And you'd say... :'''Dot''': I am! :'''Yakko''': And they'd asked... ''[rubs noses]'' "How did you ever get so cute?" And you'd say... :'''Dot''': I was born that way! :'''Yakko''': And they'd say... ''[pokes her nose]'' "Tell us your name, young lady!" And you'd say... :'''Dot''': Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fana Bo Besca III, but you can call me Dot! :'''Yakko''': And they'd say, "Can we call you Dottie?" And you'd say... :'''Dot''': No. Just Dot. Call me Dottie, and you die! :'''Yakko''': And Mom and Dad would laugh, and laugh, and laugh, and they'd tickle you... ''[tickles her, making her giggle]'' ...and you'd laugh, too! :'''Dot''': ''[laughs happily, but coughs for a moment, then continues laughing]'' :'''Yakko''': ''[gets off her bed and covers her up as she lies down to sleep]'' And you'd fall asleep with a great, big smile in your heart. :'''Dot''': ''[coughs, falling asleep]'' I like that story. :'''Yakko''': ''[strokes her head gently and whispers]'' G'night, sis. :''[Dot went to sleep as Yakko goes to the other room behind the curtains]'' :'''Wakko''': How is she? :'''Yakko''': I dunno. I don't think her acting lessons are getting paid. :'''Wakko''': ''[looks at the camera]'' No, I meant her health. :'''Yakko''': Who knows? ''[closes the curtains]'' :'''Wakko''': If only I'd earned more... :'''Yakko''': Hey, we'll find some other way to pay for her operation. :'''Wakko''': I guess. ''[goes back to play music with his makeshift harp out of the ruined mattress]'' :'''Yakko''': You turning in? :'''Wakko''': To what? :'''Yakko''': ''[tilts his head]'' Good question. See you in the morning. :'''Wakko''': Good night. <hr width=50%> :'''Pinky''': But Brain, how ever will we get to the wishing star first? :'''Brain''': Simple, Pinky. With the help of the great Leonardo DaVinci. :'''Pinky''': He is going to give us a ride there in his pant cuffs? :'''Brain''': No Pinky. DaVinci is dead. :'''Pinky''': Oh, how sad. When's the funeral? :'''Brain''': He died a long time ago. :'''Pinky''': And I forgot to send flowers? Stupid! Stupid! STUPID! :'''Brain''': No, Pinky, allow me. STUPID! ''[whacks him with his pencil]'' <hr width=50%> :''[Pinky and the Brain are flying in the Air-Screw]'' :'''Brain''': With the wind at our backs, all we have to do is maintain this velocity, and we'll be the first to reach the wishing star! Do you know what that means Pinky? :'''Pinky''': What does what mean? :'''Brain''': Just skip it. :'''Pinky''': Skip what? :'''Brain''': Grrrrr! Just stop! :'''Pinky''': 'Kay. ''[stops pedaling]'' :''[They fall]'' :'''Brain''': AAAAAHHHH!!!! NO! Keep pedaling! Keep pedaling, Pinky! ''[Pinky pedals again]'' Huh, huh...You almost killed us, Pinky! What were you thinking?! :'''Pinky''': But you said stop! You really did Brain, you said 'stop.' :'''Brain''': Ignore what I say! :'''Pinky''': Really? :'''Brain''': Yes, just keep pedaling! :'''Pinky''': 'Kay. ''[stops pedaling again]'' :'''Brain''': NOOOOOO!!! What are you doing?! :'''Pinky''': Ignoring what you say. :'''Brain''': Not about that! :'''Pinky''': Not about what? :'''Brain''': JUST KEEP PEDALING! :'''Pinky''': ''[starts pedaling again]'' Sometimes you are so confused, Brain. ''[Brain whacks him offscreen; laughs]'' Narf! <hr width=50%> :'''Yakko''': Oh, ri-i-ight! The secrets about the wishing star - right! Yeah. You see, the key to the whole thing is...Uh, you got a little something in your nose. :'''King Salazar''': Huh? Where? :'''Yakko''': Right there. :'''King Salazar''': ''[sniffs]'' Did I get it? :'''Yakko''': Yeah - noooo, no, still there. :'''King Salazar''': ''[sniffs again]'' How about now? :'''Yakko''': Now it's over there. Ooh. :'''King Salazar''': ''[wipes]'' How about now? :'''Yakko''': No. Ugh. :'''Dot and Wakko''': Ewww! Get it! Get it! Get it! :'''Yakko''': Please! Could you go to the bathroom and take care of it? Oof. I mean, whoops! ''[gags]'' :'''King Salazar''': Oh, all right! ''[goes into the bathroom]'' :''[Wakko jumps down and locks the door]'' :'''Warners''': ''[singing and dancing]'' We're in charge! We're in charge! :'''King Salazar''': ''[kicks the bathroom door down in anger]'' You horrible children! Who taught you how to behave?! :'''Wakko''': ''[sadly]'' No one, sir. :'''Dot''': You see - cough! Cough! We're orphans. ''[puts on Bambi eyes]'' :'''King Salazar''': Yes, well, everyone has problems. ''[walks off]'' :''[The Warners appear in in front of him]'' :'''Yakko''': ''[Bambi eyes]'' You know, we'd SO like to be adopted. :''[King Salazar walks back to the other side, but the Warners appear again]'' :'''Wakko''': Will you be our new daddy? :'''King Salazar''': Certainly not! :'''Dot''': ''[jumps on him]'' Buy me a toy, daddy! Buy me a toy, buy me a toy, buy me a toy! :'''Wakko''': Oh, please Dad! Do! :'''King Salazar''': I'm not your father! :'''Yakko''': That's not what Mommy said. == Cast == *[[w:Jess Harnell|Jess Harnell]] — Wakko <small>(speaking and singing)</small> *[[w:Rob Paulsen|Rob Paulsen]] — Yakko, Pinky, Dr. Scratchansniff *[[w:Tress MacNeille|Tress MacNeille]] — Dot, Hello Nurse, Marita, Mom *[[w:Maurice LaMarche|Maurice LaMarche]] — The Brain, Squit, Wakko <small>(burping)</small> *[[w:Sherri Stoner|Sherri Stoner]] — Slappy Squirrel *Nathan Ruegger — Skippy Squirrel *[[Nancy Cartwright]] — Mindy *[[Frank Welker|Frank W. Welker]] — Buttons, Ralph T. Guard, Thaddeus Plotz, Runt, Flavio, Chicken Boo *[[w:Chick Vennera|Chick Vennera]] — Pesto *[[w:John Mariano|John Mariano]] — Bobby *[[w:Bernadette Peters|Bernadette Peters]] — Rita *[[w:Paxton Whitehead|Paxton Whitehead]] — King Salazar *[[Ben Stein|Benjamin Jeremy Stein]] — Pip *[[w:Jeff Bennett|Jeff Glen Bennett]] — Baloney, Guard Captain *[[w:Paul Rugg|Paul Rugg]] — Mr. Director *[[w:Julie Brown|Julie Ann Brown]] — Minerva Mink *[[w:Tom Bodett|Thomas Edward Bodett]] — Mr. Narrator ==External links== {{wikipedia}} * {{IMDb title|0164226}} [[Category:1999 films]] [[Category:1990s American animated films]] [[Category:Traditionally animated films]] [[Category:American children's animated adventure films]] [[Category:American children's animated comedy films]] [[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]] [[Category:American children's animated musical films]] [[Category:Animated films about orphans]] [[Category:Direct-to-video animated films]] [[Category:Films based on animated television series]] [[Category:Television series finales]] [[Category:Films about mice]] [[Category:Animated films about squirrels]] [[Category:Looney Tunes]] [[Category:Animaniacs]] r9ub4kdk57gdubropnf5duomzg4ftp3 0 207353 3942156 3913264 2026-05-17T20:26:28Z ~2026-20999-95 3307971 3942156 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Transylvania 6-5000 (1963 film)|Transylvania 6-5000]]''''' ([[w:1963 in film|1963]]) is a ''[[w:Merrie Melodies|Merrie Melodies]]'' animated [[w:short film|short]] directed by [[Chuck Jones]] and starring [[w:Bugs Bunny|Bugs Bunny]]. It is notable as the last original Bugs Bunny short Jones made for [[w:Warner Bros. Cartoons|Warner Bros. Cartoons]] before leaving for [[w:Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer|Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer]] to found his own studio, Sib Tower 12 Productions. It was his second-to-last cartoon at Warner Bros. before moving to MGM, and the second-to-last Warner cartoon in 1963. :''Directed by [[w:Chuck Jones|Chuck Jones]] and [[w:Maurice Noble|Maurice Noble]]. (co-director) Produced by [[w:David H. DePatie|David H. DePatie]]. (uncredited) Story by [[w:John Dunn (animator)|John Dunn]].'' This cartoon was featured in [[Daffy Duck's Quackbusters]], But, the ending where Bugs' ears changed to Bat wings was cut. ==Bugs Bunny== * ''[After hitting a tree underground]'' Wow! What a belt. These [[w:Pennsylvania|Pennsylvania]] hardwoods ain't too soft! * Boy, I hope the restaurant's still open. I haven't eaten since I left Cucamonga! * Another one? They oughta screen this place. ''[takes a sprayer and sprays the bat with it]'' * Well. A telephone, at last! Hello, operator? Will you please get me the ACME Travel Service in Perth Amboy, USA? ''[singing to himself]'' La-dee-de-dee-de, Abraca-pocus. ''[suddenly, his ears changed to bat wings]'' Hello, operator? You can cancel that call, please. I think I'll fly home instead! ''[proceeds to fly away]'' ==Dialogue== :''[Bugs arrives at the door of the castle of Count Bloodcount and rings the doorbell. Count Bloodcount answers the door] :'''Bugs Bunny''': Sorry to disturb you, sir. I know it's late, but I seem to be off me course. :'''Count Bloodcount''': No, no, it's never too late. Come in. ''[opens the door and lets Bugs in]'' :'''Bugs Bunny''': Yeah, well, you see, I just want to call me travel agency. They've routed me off me route. <hr width=50%> :'''Count Bloodcount''': I am a vampire. :'''Bugs Bunny''': Oh, yeah? Well, abacadabra, I'm an umpire. ''[suddenly is wearing umpire clothes]'' :'''Count Bloodcount''': Hocus-pocus, I'm a bat! ''[turns into a bat]'' :'''Bugs Bunny''': Okay. I'm a bat too! Abacadabra! ''[turns into a baseball bat]'' :'''Count Bloodcount''': ''[putting on glasses]'' You wouldn't hit a bat with glasses on, would you? :''[Bat hits Count Bloodcount]'' ==Voice cast== * [[w:Mel Blanc|Mel Blanc]] as [[w:Bugs Bunny|Bugs Bunny]] * Ben Frommer as [[w:Count Blood Count|Count Bloodcount]] * [[w:Julie Bennett|Julie Bennett]] as Agatha and Emily the Two-headed Vulture ==External links== {{wikipedia}} {{Looney Tunes}} [[Category:1963 animated films]] [[Category:American animated short films]] [[Category:Traditionally animated short films]] [[Category:Children's animated comedy short films]] [[Category:Children's animated fantasy short films]] [[Category:Bugs Bunny cartoons]] [[Category:Films about vampires]] [[Category:Films set in Transylvania]] [[Category:Films directed by Chuck Jones]] [[Category:Films set in castles]] [[Category:Films about shapeshifting]] 1pbjqvfh6eq7gq01rfoav7t67sg1l92 0 209178 3942206 3192364 2026-05-17T22:33:13Z Evanyu35 3321362 3942206 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} ---- :'''Seasons:''' [[Thomas and Friends/Season 1|1]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 2|2]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 3|3]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 4|4]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 5|5]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 6|6]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 7|7]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 8|8]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 9|9]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 10|10]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 11|11]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 12|12]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 13|13]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 14|14]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 15|15]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 16|16]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 17|17]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 18|18]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 19|19]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 20|20]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 21|21]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 22|22]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 23|23]] | '''Movies''': [[Thomas and the Magic Railroad]] / '''Calling All Engines!''' / [[The Great Discovery]] / [[Hero of the Rails]] / [[Thomas & Friends: Misty Island Rescue|Misty Island Rescue]] / [[Thomas & Friends: Day of the Diesels|Day of the Diesels]] / [[Blue Mountain Mystery]] / [[Thomas & Friends: King of the Railway|King of the Railway]] / [[Tale of the Brave]] / [[The Adventure Begins]] / [[Thomas & Friends: Sodor's Legend of the Lost Treasure|Sodor's Legend of the Lost Treasure]] / [[Thomas & Friends: The Great Race|The Great Race]] / [[Journey Beyond Sodor]] / [[Big World! Big Adventures!]] | [[Thomas and Friends|Main]] ---- '''''[[w:Calling All Engines!|Calling All Engines]]''''' is a 2005 direct-to-video special of ''[[Thomas and Friends|Thomas and Friends]]''. The film was produced by HiT Entertainment and released in the United States on September 6, 2005. This special takes place between [[Thomas and Friends/Season 8|Season 8]] and [[Thomas and Friends/Season 9|9]]. ==Thomas== * If the airport doesn’t open, it would be bad all the engines. Both steam engines and diesel engines need passengers and freight to be useful. ==Edward== *The diesels ruined our sheds! ==Sir Topham Hatt== * You have caused confusion and delay. The bridge isn’t painted, and we will not be able to open the airport. No holidaymakers will come to Sodor this year. ==Others== *'''Lady''': We always finish our jobs when we work together. ==Dialogue== ''[Thomas and Percy puff across the Sodor Suspension Bridge]'' :'''Percy''': Look! The bridge isn't painted! :'''Thomas''': And the airport is only half-finished! <hr> ''[Thomas and Percy arrive to find Tidmouth Sheds demolished]'' :'''Narrator''': And when they arrived at Tidmouth Sheds, they discovered that they had been knocked down. :'''Thomas''': Cinders and ashes! What's happened to our sheds? :'''Diesel''': Building the new ones was our important job. But we were delayed, so we couldn't finish it. :'''Sir Topham Hatt''': ''[holding a bunch of bananas]'' And bananas are no good for building sheds! :'''Narrator''': The steam engines were cross at the diesel engines. The diesels had ruined their home. But Thomas was sad. He knew it was his fault. :'''Henry''': Now where will we sleep? <hr> :'''Diesel''': I'm not talking to you. You played a trick on me. You gave me bananas! :'''Thomas''': I'm not talking to you either! <hr> :'''Emily''': Be quiet and go to sleep. :'''Narrator''': She just wanted peace and quiet. ''[Thomas starts to whistle in his sleep]]'' :'''Narrator''': But when Thomas fell asleep, he started to sleep whistle. It kept Emily awake. Emily really wished Thomas could go back to Tidmouth Sheds. <hr> :'''Diesel''': I'll do it. I'm the strongest, much stronger than this steamie. :'''Foreman''': No, let Thomas try. He's already proved how strong he is. <hr> :'''Narrator''': But Diesel was in the yard, too. :'''Diesel''': Now I'll show Thomas who's best. ''[proceeds to bump the flat bed loaded with paint cans]'' :'''Narrator''': ...and he gave his trucks a bump. Paint pots flew into the air and splattered down all over Thomas. There was green paint, yellow paint, and red paint. Thomas looked very silly indeed. :'''Diesel''': Stripy boiler! ''[reverses away]'' :'''Thomas''': I'll show those diesels! :'''Narrator''': So the next time Thomas saw 'Arry, he gave him a biff. ''[Thomas pushes 'Arry into a pile of stones]'' :'''Narrator''': And when 'Arry saw James, he gave him a bump. ''['Arry pushes James underneath the coal hopper. Then Gordon crashes into Bert]'' :'''Narrator''': Soon the diesels and steamies were biffing and banging... ''[Diesel pushes Toby underneath the coal tipper]'' :'''Narrator''': ... and being bumped all over the island. ''[Emily then rams into Diesel, who rolls into a shed. Bert is then seen slamming Henry underneath a leaking pipe, and then Henry pushes Diesel off the rails. Then the engines, all shown dirty, are waiting to be washed.]'' :'''Narrator''': The engines were in a terrible mess! Everyone needed a good wash-down, and no work had been done. <hr> :'''Narrator''': And that night, they dreamed about what might happen to them. "If no holidaymakers came to Sodor..." The engines were all very worried that they wouldn't be useful again. James was dreaming about the fairground... ''[James' dream sequence is shown, him being a coconut shy]'' :'''Narrator''': James dreamt that he was a coconut shy! Lots of children were lining up, and so was the Fat Controller. ''[The children start throwing balls to knock off coconuts] :'''Narrator''': The children threw lots of balls at James, and one even knocked the coconut out of his funnel! :'''James''': I don't like this! I was much happier when I was a clean and shiny engine! :'''Narrator''': But it wasn't only James who was having a bad dream. Gordon was having a bad dream, too! ''[Gordon's dream is shown, being dressed as a playground]'' :'''Narrator''': Gordon dreamt he was put in a playground. Children were swinging on him. They slid down his slide, and they climbed all over him. :'''Gordon''': The indignity! I wish I was a proper engine again! :'''Narrator''': Edward dreamt he was a scarecrow. ''[Edward's dream is shown. He is dressed as a scarecrow in a field]'' He sat in a field, up to his axles in mud. And Farmer McColl didn't seem to care! ''[Scene cuts to Percy]'' :'''Narrator''': But Percy had the worst dream of all! ''[Percy's dream is shown, him as a roller coaster]'' He dreamt he was a roller coaster ride. He rattled up the rickety rails and all the way down again. :'''Percy''': Bust my boiler! <hr> :''''Arry''': Trust a steamie to be late. :'''Bert''': This whole mess is the Steamies fault. :'''Percy''': No, it’s not! The diesel engines started it. :'''Narrator''': This made the diesels cross. :''''Arry''': Maybe we should teach the Steamies a lesson. ''[Thomas puffs into the coaling plant]'' :'''Narrator''': Thomas finally puffed into the coaling plant. He blew his whistle and all of the engines went quiet. :'''Thomas''': Steamies and Diesels need to work together. :'''Diesel''': We don’t want to work with Stinky Steamies. :'''James''': We don’t want to work with dirty diesels either! :'''Thomas''': If the airport doesn’t open, it would be bad for all the engines. Both steam engines and diesel engines need passengers and freight to be useful. <hr> :'''Sir Topham Hatt''': Why are you all here?! :'''Thomas''': We're going to work together and get the airport open on time. <hr> :'''Thomas''': Excuse me. :''[Diesel 10 growls]'' :'''Thomas''': Uh, excuse me. :'''Diesel 10''': What do you want?! ''[gets told by Thomas about the blocked tracks]'' Why would I help a steamie?! :'''Thomas''': Because if the airplane doesn’t land, there will be no holidaymakers, then none of the engines will be useful. :'''Diesel 10''': Hmmm, maybe I will help later. :'''Thomas''': ''[gasps]'' But we need your help now, or all of the engines will have work for nothing! You’ll be the most useful engine of all. :'''Diesel 10''': Oh, all right! I ''will'' help! <hr> ''[The Steam Team arrive to find Tidmouth Sheds rebuilt]'' :'''Thomas''': The sheds have been built again! :'''Henry''': They look beautiful! :'''Edward''': Better than ever before! :'''Gordon''': I was just starting to like my tent! :'''Sir Topham Hatt''': And now you can all come home. :'''Narrator''': But Emily was sad. She liked sharing her shed now. She was going to miss Thomas. Then, Percy noticed something. :'''Percy''': There's an extra space! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven! :'''Sir Topham Hatt''': The other space is for Emily. From now on, she will stay at Tidmouth Sheds! ==External links== {{wikipedia}} [[Category:2005 films]] [[Category:British films]] [[Category:Thomas & Friends]] [[Category:Children's animated adventure films]] [[Category:Children's animated fantasy films]] [[Category:Direct-to-video animated films]] [[Category:Films based on television series]] [[Category:Thomas & Friends films‎]] [[Category:Films based on children's books]] [[Category:Films with live action and animation]] jlp5atz8010viymwr4r07h3baf140vc 3942207 3942206 2026-05-17T22:37:05Z Evanyu35 3321362 3942207 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} ---- :'''Seasons:''' [[Thomas and Friends/Season 1|1]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 2|2]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 3|3]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 4|4]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 5|5]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 6|6]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 7|7]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 8|8]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 9|9]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 10|10]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 11|11]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 12|12]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 13|13]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 14|14]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 15|15]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 16|16]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 17|17]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 18|18]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 19|19]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 20|20]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 21|21]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 22|22]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 23|23]] | '''Movies''': [[Thomas and the Magic Railroad]] / '''Calling All Engines!''' / [[The Great Discovery]] / [[Hero of the Rails]] / [[Thomas & Friends: Misty Island Rescue|Misty Island Rescue]] / [[Thomas & Friends: Day of the Diesels|Day of the Diesels]] / [[Blue Mountain Mystery]] / [[Thomas & Friends: King of the Railway|King of the Railway]] / [[Tale of the Brave]] / [[The Adventure Begins]] / [[Thomas & Friends: Sodor's Legend of the Lost Treasure|Sodor's Legend of the Lost Treasure]] / [[Thomas & Friends: The Great Race|The Great Race]] / [[Journey Beyond Sodor]] / [[Big World! Big Adventures!]] | [[Thomas and Friends|Main]] ---- '''''[[w:Calling All Engines!|Calling All Engines]]''''' is a 2005 direct-to-video special of ''[[Thomas and Friends|Thomas and Friends]]''. The film was produced by HiT Entertainment and released in the United States on September 6, 2005. This special takes place between [[Thomas and Friends/Season 8|Season 8]] and [[Thomas and Friends/Season 9|9]]. ==Thomas== * If the airport doesn't open, it would be bad all the engines. Both steam engines and diesel engines need passengers and freight to be useful. ==Edward== *The diesels ruined our sheds! ==Sir Topham Hatt== * You have caused confusion and delay! The bridge isn't painted, and we will not be able to open the airport! No holidaymakers will come to Sodor this year! ==Others== *'''Lady''': We always finish our jobs when we work together. ==Dialogue== ''[Thomas and Percy puff across the Sodor Suspension Bridge]'' :'''Percy''': Look! The bridge isn't painted! :'''Thomas''': And the airport is only half-finished! <hr> ''[Thomas and Percy arrive to find Tidmouth Sheds demolished]'' :'''Narrator''': And when they arrived at Tidmouth Sheds, they discovered that they had been knocked down. :'''Thomas''': Cinders and ashes! What's happened to our sheds? :'''Diesel''': Building the new ones was our important job. But we were delayed, so we couldn't finish it. :'''Sir Topham Hatt''': ''[holding a bunch of bananas]'' And bananas are no good for building sheds! :'''Narrator''': The steam engines were cross at the diesel engines. The diesels had ruined their home. But Thomas was sad. He knew it was his fault. :'''Henry''': Now where will we sleep? <hr> :'''Diesel''': I'm not talking to you. You played a trick on me! You gave me bananas! :'''Thomas''': I'm not talking to you either! <hr> :'''Emily''': Be quiet and go to sleep. :'''Narrator''': She just wanted peace and quiet. ''[Thomas starts to whistle in his sleep]]'' :'''Narrator''': But when Thomas fell asleep, he started to sleep whistle. It kept Emily awake. Emily really wished Thomas could go back to Tidmouth Sheds. <hr> :'''Diesel''': I'll do it. I'm the strongest, much stronger than this steamie. :'''Foreman''': No, let Thomas try. He's already proved how strong he is. <hr> :'''Narrator''': But Diesel was in the yard, too. :'''Diesel''': Now I'll show Thomas who's best. ''[proceeds to bump the flat bed loaded with paint cans]'' :'''Narrator''': ...and he gave his trucks a bump. Paint pots flew into the air and splattered down all over Thomas. There was green paint, yellow paint, and red paint. Thomas looked very silly indeed. :'''Diesel''': Stripy boiler! ''[reverses away]'' :'''Thomas''': I'll show those diesels! :'''Narrator''': So the next time Thomas saw 'Arry, he gave him a biff. ''[Thomas pushes 'Arry into a pile of stones]'' :'''Narrator''': And when 'Arry saw James, he gave him a bump. ''['Arry pushes James underneath the coal hopper. Then Gordon crashes into Bert]'' :'''Narrator''': Soon the diesels and steamies were biffing and banging... ''[Diesel pushes Toby underneath the coal tipper]'' :'''Narrator''': ... and being bumped all over the island. ''[Emily then rams into Diesel, who rolls into a shed. Bert is then seen slamming Henry underneath a leaking pipe, and then Henry pushes Diesel off the rails. Then the engines, all shown dirty, are waiting to be washed.]'' :'''Narrator''': The engines were in a terrible mess! Everyone needed a good wash-down, and no work had been done. <hr> :'''Narrator''': And that night, they dreamed about what might happen to them. "If no holidaymakers came to Sodor..." The engines were all very worried that they wouldn't be useful again. James was dreaming about the fairground... ''[James' dream sequence is shown, him being a coconut shy]'' :'''Narrator''': James dreamt that he was a coconut shy! Lots of children were lining up, and so was the Fat Controller. ''[The children start throwing balls to knock off coconuts] :'''Narrator''': The children threw lots of balls at James, and one even knocked the coconut out of his funnel! :'''James''': I don't like this! I was much happier when I was a clean and shiny engine! :'''Narrator''': But it wasn't only James who was having a bad dream. Gordon was having a bad dream, too! ''[Gordon's dream is shown, being dressed as a playground]'' :'''Narrator''': Gordon dreamt he was put in a playground. Children were swinging on him. They slid down his slide, and they climbed all over him. :'''Gordon''': The indignity! I wish I was a proper engine again! :'''Narrator''': Edward dreamt he was a scarecrow. ''[Edward's dream is shown. He is dressed as a scarecrow in a field]'' He sat in a field, up to his axles in mud. And Farmer McColl didn't seem to care! ''[Scene cuts to Percy]'' :'''Narrator''': But Percy had the worst dream of all! ''[Percy's dream is shown, him as a roller coaster]'' He dreamt he was a roller coaster ride. He rattled up the rickety rails and all the way down again. :'''Percy''': Bust my boiler! <hr> :''''Arry''': Trust a steamie to be late. :'''Bert''': This whole mess is the steamies' fault. :'''Percy''': No, it's not! The diesel engines started it! :'''Narrator''': This made the diesels cross. :''''Arry''': Maybe we should teach the steamies a lesson! ''[Thomas puffs into the coaling plant]'' :'''Narrator''': Thomas finally puffed into the coaling plant. He blew his whistle and all of the engines went quiet. :'''Thomas''': Steamies and diesels need to work together. :'''Diesel''': We don't want to work with stinky steamies! :'''James''': We don't want to work with dirty diesels either! :'''Thomas''': If the airport doesn't open, it would be bad for all the engines. Both steam engines and diesel engines need passengers and freight to be useful. <hr> :'''Sir Topham Hatt''': Why are you all here?! :'''Thomas''': We're going to work together and get the airport open on time. <hr> :'''Thomas''': Excuse me. :''[Diesel 10 growls]'' :'''Thomas''': Uh, excuse me. :'''Diesel 10''': What do you want?! ''[gets told by Thomas about the blocked tracks]'' Why would I help a steamie?! :'''Thomas''': Because if the airplane doesn't land, there will be no holidaymakers. Then none of the engines will be useful. :'''Diesel 10''': Hmmm, maybe I will help later. :'''Thomas''': ''[gasps]'' But we need your help now! Or all of the engines will have work for nothing! You'll be the most useful engine of all. :'''Diesel 10''': Oh, all right! I ''will'' help! <hr> ''[The Steam Team arrive to find Tidmouth Sheds rebuilt]'' :'''Thomas''': The sheds have been built again! :'''Henry''': They look beautiful! :'''Edward''': Better than ever before! :'''Gordon''': I was just starting to like my tent! :'''Sir Topham Hatt''': And now you can all come home. :'''Narrator''': But Emily was sad. She liked sharing her shed now. She was going to miss Thomas. Then, Percy noticed something. :'''Percy''': There's an extra space! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven! :'''Sir Topham Hatt''': The other space is for Emily. From now on, she will stay at Tidmouth Sheds! ==External links== {{wikipedia}} [[Category:2005 films]] [[Category:British films]] [[Category:Thomas & Friends]] [[Category:Children's animated adventure films]] [[Category:Children's animated fantasy films]] [[Category:Direct-to-video animated films]] [[Category:Films based on television series]] [[Category:Thomas & Friends films‎]] [[Category:Films based on children's books]] [[Category:Films with live action and animation]] ixu9guyisvrjk9c47hafsrhgx5kxy6f 3942209 3942207 2026-05-17T22:49:17Z Evanyu35 3321362 3942209 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} ---- :'''Seasons:''' [[Thomas and Friends/Season 1|1]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 2|2]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 3|3]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 4|4]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 5|5]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 6|6]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 7|7]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 8|8]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 9|9]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 10|10]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 11|11]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 12|12]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 13|13]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 14|14]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 15|15]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 16|16]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 17|17]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 18|18]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 19|19]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 20|20]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 21|21]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 22|22]] [[Thomas and Friends/Season 23|23]] | '''Movies''': [[Thomas and the Magic Railroad]] / '''Calling All Engines!''' / [[The Great Discovery]] / [[Hero of the Rails]] / [[Thomas & Friends: Misty Island Rescue|Misty Island Rescue]] / [[Thomas & Friends: Day of the Diesels|Day of the Diesels]] / [[Blue Mountain Mystery]] / [[Thomas & Friends: King of the Railway|King of the Railway]] / [[Tale of the Brave]] / [[The Adventure Begins]] / [[Thomas & Friends: Sodor's Legend of the Lost Treasure|Sodor's Legend of the Lost Treasure]] / [[Thomas & Friends: The Great Race|The Great Race]] / [[Journey Beyond Sodor]] / [[Big World! Big Adventures!]] | [[Thomas and Friends|Main]] ---- '''''[[w:Calling All Engines!|Calling All Engines]]''''' is a 2005 direct-to-video special of ''[[Thomas and Friends|Thomas and Friends]]''. The film was produced by HiT Entertainment and released in the United States on September 6, 2005. This special takes place between [[Thomas and Friends/Season 8|Season 8]] and [[Thomas and Friends/Season 9|9]]. ==Thomas== * If the airport doesn't open, it would be bad all the engines. Both steam engines and diesel engines need passengers and freight to be useful. ==Edward== *The diesels ruined our sheds! ==Sir Topham Hatt== * You have caused confusion and delay! The bridge isn't painted, and we will not be able to open the airport! No holidaymakers will come to Sodor this year! ==Others== *'''Lady''': We always finish our jobs when we work together. ==Dialogue== ''[Thomas and Percy puff across the Sodor Suspension Bridge]'' :'''Percy''': Look! The bridge isn't painted! :'''Thomas''': And the airport is only half-finished! <hr> ''[Thomas and Percy arrive to find Tidmouth Sheds demolished]'' :'''Narrator''': And when they arrived at Tidmouth Sheds, they discovered that they had been knocked down. :'''Thomas''': Cinders and ashes! What's happened to our sheds? :'''Diesel''': Building the new ones was our important job. But we were delayed, so we couldn't finish it. :'''Sir Topham Hatt''': ''[holding a bunch of bananas]'' And bananas are no good for building sheds! :'''Narrator''': The steam engines were cross at the diesel engines. The diesels had ruined their home. But Thomas was sad. He knew it was his fault. :'''Henry''': Now where will we sleep? <hr> :'''Diesel''': I'm not talking to you. You played a trick on me! You gave me bananas! :'''Thomas''': I'm not talking to you either! <hr> :'''Emily''': Be quiet and go to sleep. :'''Narrator''': She just wanted peace and quiet. ''[Thomas starts to whistle in his sleep]]'' :'''Narrator''': But when Thomas fell asleep, he started to sleep whistle. It kept Emily awake. Emily really wished Thomas could go back to Tidmouth Sheds. <hr> :'''Diesel''': I'll do it. I'm the strongest, much stronger than this steamie. :'''Foreman''': No, let Thomas try. He's already proved how strong he is. <hr> :'''Narrator''': But Diesel was in the yard, too. :'''Diesel''': Now I'll show Thomas who's best. ''[proceeds to bump the flat bed loaded with paint cans]'' :'''Narrator''': ...and he gave his trucks a bump. Paint pots flew into the air and splattered down all over Thomas. There was green paint, yellow paint, and red paint. Thomas looked very silly indeed. :'''Diesel''': Stripy boiler! ''[reverses away]'' :'''Thomas''': I'll show those diesels! :'''Narrator''': So the next time Thomas saw 'Arry, he gave him a biff. ''[Thomas pushes 'Arry into a pile of stones]'' :'''Narrator''': And when 'Arry saw James, he gave him a bump. ''['Arry pushes James underneath the coal hopper. Then Gordon crashes into Bert]'' :'''Narrator''': Soon the diesels and steamies were biffing and banging... ''[Diesel pushes Toby underneath the coal tipper]'' :'''Narrator''': ... and being bumped all over the island. ''[Emily then rams into Diesel, who rolls into a shed. Bert is then seen slamming Henry underneath a leaking pipe, and then Henry pushes Diesel off the rails. Then the engines, all shown dirty, are waiting to be washed.]'' :'''Narrator''': The engines were in a terrible mess! Everyone needed a good wash-down, and no work had been done. <hr> :'''Narrator''': And that night, they dreamed about what might happen to them. "If no holidaymakers came to Sodor..." The engines were all very worried that they wouldn't be useful again. James was dreaming about the fairground... ''[James' dream sequence is shown, him being a coconut shy]'' :'''Narrator''': James dreamt that he was a coconut shy! Lots of children were lining up, and so was the Fat Controller. ''[The children start throwing balls to knock off coconuts] :'''Narrator''': The children threw lots of balls at James, and one even knocked the coconut out of his funnel! :'''James''': I don't like this! I was much happier when I was a clean and shiny engine! :'''Narrator''': But it wasn't only James who was having a bad dream. Gordon was having a bad dream, too! ''[Gordon's dream is shown, being dressed as a playground]'' :'''Narrator''': Gordon dreamt he was put in a playground. Children were swinging on him. They slid down his slide, and they climbed all over him. :'''Gordon''': The indignity! I wish I was a proper engine again! :'''Narrator''': Edward dreamt he was a scarecrow. ''[Edward's dream is shown. He is dressed as a scarecrow in a field]'' He sat in a field, up to his axles in mud. And Farmer McColl didn't seem to care! ''[Scene cuts to Percy]'' :'''Narrator''': But Percy had the worst dream of all! ''[Percy's dream is shown, him as a roller coaster]'' He dreamt he was a roller coaster ride. He rattled up the rickety rails and all the way down again. :'''Percy''': Bust my boiler! <hr> :''''Arry''': Trust a steamie to be late. :'''Bert''': This whole mess is the steamies' fault. :'''Percy''': No, it's not! The diesel engines started it! :'''Narrator''': This made the diesels cross. :''''Arry''': Maybe we should teach the steamies a lesson! ''[Thomas puffs into the coaling plant]'' :'''Narrator''': Thomas finally puffed into the coaling plant. He blew his whistle and all of the engines went quiet. :'''Thomas''': Steamies and diesels need to work together. :'''Diesel''': We don't want to work with stinky steamies! :'''James''': We don't want to work with dirty diesels either! :'''Thomas''': If the airport doesn't open, it would be bad for all the engines. Both steam engines and diesel engines need passengers and freight to be useful. <hr> :'''Sir Topham Hatt''': Why are you all here?! :'''Thomas''': We're going to work together and get the airport open on time. <hr> :'''Thomas''': Excuse me. :''[Diesel 10 growls]'' :'''Thomas''': Uh, excuse me. :'''Diesel 10''': What do you want?! ''[gets told by Thomas about the blocked tracks]'' Why would I help a steamie?! :'''Thomas''': Because if the airplane doesn't land, there will be no holidaymakers. Then none of the engines will be useful. :'''Diesel 10''': Hmmm, maybe I will help later. :'''Thomas''': ''[gasps]'' But we need your help now! Or all of the engines will have work for nothing! You'll be the most useful engine of all. :'''Diesel 10''': Alright! I ''will'' help! <hr> ''[The Steam Team arrive to find Tidmouth Sheds rebuilt]'' :'''Thomas''': The sheds have been built again! :'''Henry''': They look beautiful! :'''Edward''': Better than ever before! :'''Gordon''': I was just starting to like my tent! :'''Sir Topham Hatt''': And now you can all come home. :'''Narrator''': But Emily was sad. She liked sharing her shed now. She was going to miss Thomas. Then, Percy noticed something. :'''Percy''': There's an extra space! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven! :'''Sir Topham Hatt''': The other space is for Emily. From now on, she will stay at Tidmouth Sheds! ==External links== {{wikipedia}} [[Category:2005 films]] [[Category:British films]] [[Category:Thomas & Friends]] [[Category:Children's animated adventure films]] [[Category:Children's animated fantasy films]] [[Category:Direct-to-video animated films]] [[Category:Films based on television series]] [[Category:Thomas & Friends films‎]] [[Category:Films based on children's books]] [[Category:Films with live action and animation]] dzpyjssjcyzogszt7s0dx8xwznc1rtk 0 209575 3942158 3922762 2026-05-17T20:27:12Z ~2026-20999-95 3307971 3942158 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Quackodile Tears|Quackodile Tears]]''''' is a 1962 [[w:Merrie Melodies|Merrie Melodies]] cartoon directed by [[w:Arthur Davis (animator)|Art Davis]] and one of the few that shows Daffy without his collar. :''Directed by [[w:Arthur Davis (animator)|Art Davis]]. Produced by [[w:David H. Depatie|David H. DePatie]]. (uncredited)'' ==[[Daffy Duck]]== * Eeney, meeny, miney, mo. Where did that stupid little egg go? Oh, well, what's the difference? An egg is an egg. ==Dialogue== :'''Daffy Duck''': But, Honeybunch, sitting on eggs is sissy stuff! :'''Honeybunch''': Stop mumbling and sit on that egg! :'''Daffy Duck''': I'm ''not'' sittin' on ''no'' egg! :'''Honeybunch''': Sssit on that egg or I'll... :'''Daffy Duck''': Nope, no sittin'! ''[slap]'' Someday ''she's'' gonna go ''too'' far. ==Voice cast== * [[w:Mel Blanc|Mel Blanc]] as Daffy Duck / George Crocodile. * [[w:June Foray|June Foray]] as Honeybunch (uncredited) ==External links== {{wikipedia}} {{Looney Tunes}} [[Category:Children's animated fantasy short films]] [[Category:American animated short films]] [[Category:Traditionally animated short films]] [[Category:Children's animated comedy short films]] [[Category:Daffy Duck cartoons]] [[Category:Films about crocodilians]] [[Category:1962 animated films]] ssin85whnd8y7i21ddgner8h2cii6zh 0 209579 3942189 3715780 2026-05-17T21:31:37Z Hhrlan23 3222540 3942189 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Wise Quacks|Wise Quacks]]''''' is a 1939 ''[[w:Looney Tunes|Looney Tunes]]'' cartoon directed by [[w:Tex Avery|Tex Avery]]. The short subject features [[Porky Pig]] and [[Daffy Duck]]. :''Directed by [[w:Bob Clampett|Bob Clampett]]. Produced by [[w:Leon Schlesinger|Leon Schlesinger]]. Story by Warren Foster.'' ==Dialogue== :'''Mama Duck''': ''[sniffing Daffy's breath]'' Daffy? Have you been drinking? :'''Daffy Duck''': ''[offended]'' Drinking? ''Drinking?'' Me, drinking? ''[drunkenly]'' Yes! :''[Mrs. Daffy hits him with a rolling pin]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Eagle''': ''[to the duckling]'' Hello, bud! Wanna go for a ride? :'''Baby Duckling''': ''[shakes his head "no"]'' Yes! * ==External links== {{wikipedia}} * {{IMDb title|0032134}} {{Looney Tunes}} [[Category:1939 animated films]] [[Category:American animated short films]] [[Category:Traditionally animated short films]] [[Category:Children's animated comedy short films]] [[Category:Daffy Duck cartoons]] [[Category:Porky Pig cartoons]] [[Category:Films directed by Bob Clampett]] c9wty1ibgadgqfbsvznse8gg762mc82 3942190 3942189 2026-05-17T21:32:04Z Hhrlan23 3222540 /* */ 3942190 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Wise Quacks|Wise Quacks]]''''' is a 1939 ''[[w:Looney Tunes|Looney Tunes]]'' cartoon directed by [[w:Bob Clampett| Bob Clampett]]. The short subject features [[Porky Pig]] and [[Daffy Duck]]. :''Directed by [[w:Bob Clampett|Bob Clampett]]. Produced by [[w:Leon Schlesinger|Leon Schlesinger]]. Story by Warren Foster.'' ==Dialogue== :'''Mama Duck''': ''[sniffing Daffy's breath]'' Daffy? Have you been drinking? :'''Daffy Duck''': ''[offended]'' Drinking? ''Drinking?'' Me, drinking? ''[drunkenly]'' Yes! :''[Mrs. Daffy hits him with a rolling pin]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Eagle''': ''[to the duckling]'' Hello, bud! Wanna go for a ride? :'''Baby Duckling''': ''[shakes his head "no"]'' Yes! * ==External links== {{wikipedia}} * {{IMDb title|0032134}} {{Looney Tunes}} [[Category:1939 animated films]] [[Category:American animated short films]] [[Category:Traditionally animated short films]] [[Category:Children's animated comedy short films]] [[Category:Daffy Duck cartoons]] [[Category:Porky Pig cartoons]] [[Category:Films directed by Bob Clampett]] 6ng6w1qk2r34jecjnyrj23knwa3ybu1 0 210160 3942219 3901034 2026-05-18T00:41:54Z ~2026-29057-99 3321460 /* Informative Murder Porn [17.02] */ 3942219 wikitext text/x-wiki {{DISPLAYTITLE:''South Park''/Season 17}} {{South Park header}} '''''[[w:South Park|South Park]]''''' (1997–present) is an adult animated television series created by [[w:Trey Parker|Trey Parker]] and [[w:Matt Stone|Matt Stone]]. Distributed by and airing on Comedy Central, it follows the surreal adventures of four young boys who live in the small town of South Park, Colorado. === ''[[w:Let Go, Let Gov|Let Go, Let Gov]]'' [17.01] === :''[Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are waiting for the bus at the bus stop]'' :'''Kyle''': ''[infuriated]'' I am so sick of that stupid bitch! Blabbin' pussy little stank! Why do people talk on their phone like that?! I can't even get a minute of piece before that bitch walks in, holding the cell phone out like this, and talking on speaker phone! Nobody wants to hear your goddamned conversations, you little bitch! You're not that important! :'''Cartman''': ''[talking to a friend on the phone, via speaker]'' Yeah, I know dude. I'm tellng you, it was the worst pain in my entire life. :'''Lawrence''': ''How many hours were you guys playing?'' :'''Cartman''': Like six hours, dude. And my friends were all like "Dude, Cartman, we need you to keep playing defense!" :'''Kyle''': AAAARGH! :'''Lawrence''': ''You were playing football?'' :'''Cartman''': Yeah, but I was like "I can't you guys. I twisted my ankle." In the end though, they really needed me to play, so I just played through the pain, you know what I'm sayin'? :'''Kyle''': That is ''not'' what happened! You totally started crying and quit the game! :'''Cartman''': ''[covering the phone]'' Kyle, this is a private conversation. :'''Kyle''': Then take that shit speaker phone off! :'''Lawrence''': ''Is that that same kid?'' :'''Cartman''': Yeah, it's that kid Kyle again. He's a total boner, always listening in on my calls. :'''Kyle''': How do we have a choice?! :'''Cartman''': Stop listening to my conversation, Kyle! What are you, the NSA?! Lawrence, remember how I was tellin' you the NSA listens to everyone's phone calls and reads all our e-mails? :'''Lawrence''': ''Yeah, yeah, you said that.'' :'''Toby''': My dad says the government keeps a database on everyone. :'''Cartman''': Who is that? Is that Toby? :'''Toby''': Yeah. :'''Cartman''': Dude, Toby, are you over at Lawrence's? :'''Toby''': Yeah, we're ditching school. :'''Cartman''': You're what? What, you say? :'''Lawrence''': ''Me and Toby are ditching school!'' <hr width=50%> :'''Cartman''': I've done it. I've infiltrated the NSA, and gained their trust. So far, I've not ascertained how they were able to keep track of everyone in the country, but I'm close. Very close. I just hope that I'm not found out as a whistleblower before I'm able to expose their entire operation. :'''Date''': What is that voice? :'''[[Alec Baldwin]]''': Some little faggot in my head. === ''[[w:Informative Murder Porn|Informative Murder Porn]]'' [17.02] === :'''Stan''': ''[wakes up as his phone rings and answers it]'' 'Sup, dude? :'''Cartman''': Dude, do you know Aaron Hagen? :'''Stan''': Uh, yeah, the first grader? :'''Cartman''': You should come down to his house. His dad just killed his mom. :'''Stan''': What?! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Randy''': ''[naked and at Stan's door after finding out a parental lock has been put on the TV]'' Stan. Stan! How do you tame a horse in Minecraft? :'''Stan''': ''[barely awake in bed]'' What? :'''Randy''': What is [[Minecraft]] and how do you tame a horse in it? :'''Stan''': You guys don't need to be watching that stuff. :'''Randy''': Oh! Come on! You can't block your parents from watching informative murder porn! What? Ya-you think if we watch shows about married people killing each other all the time we're gonna go out and do it? That's stupid! I'm not going to go out and kill your mom just because I watch Investigative Discovery, Stan. I'd be impossible to clear away all the DNA evidence anyway! Even if I hired someone else to kill her, I'd have to kill that person, too, because 96% of the time that person eventually tells the truth! I thought this through a lot! Stan? '''You're a lousy kid! I WISH JADEN SMITH WAS MY SON!''' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Stephen''': Who do our children think they are, blocking our TV content?! :'''Mrs. Tweak''': How are they able to do this with their smartphones? :'''Randy''': It's all right. Our kids think they outsmarted us, but ''we're'' the ones who pay the cable company. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Randy''': Nice one, Stotch! Your castle fucking sucks! :'''Stephen''': Ah, go to hell, you griefer! === ''[[w:World War Zimmerman|World War Zimmerman]]'' [17.03] === === ''[[w:Goth Kids 3: Dawn of the Posers|Goth Kids 3: Dawn of the Posers]]'' [17.04] === :'''Goth Singer''': Goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time! :'''Michael, Henrietta Biggle''': Death and sadness everywhere, loneliness and degradation! :'''Goth Singer''': Goin' down to South Park, gonna take my woes with me! :'''Pete''': Nightmares every night, posers spouting "Let's go shopping!" :'''Goth Singer''': Heading out to South Park, cause I cannot unwind! :'''Firkle''': I like spiders, loss and rain, I'm only happy when I'm in pain! :'''Goth Singer''': So I'm goin' down to South Park... to die! <hr width=50%/> :'''Harriet''': Henrietta, sweetie. :'''Henrietta''': Shut up, Mom! Go away! :'''Harriet''': Ohh, but remember, Daddy wanted to talk to you in the living room, my dark little princess. :'''Henrietta''': Stop calling me a princess. I'm not a beauty queen in a Disney movie! :'''Harriet''': We'll be waiting in the living room. :'''Henrietta''': God, she just ''never'' stops! <hr width=50%/> :'''Mr. Biggle''': Have a seat, Henrietta. :'''Harriet''': Ooh, a little family chitchat. :'''Henrietta''': Shut up, Mom. :'''Mr. Biggle''': Henrietta, as you know, your mother and I have been concerned about your behavior for some time. :'''Henrietta''': Are we really doing this again? :'''Mr. Biggle''': We've had a hard time coping with the dark things you're into, but we've finally had some counseling, and apparently we're not the only parents who have a child that is... emo. :'''Henrietta''': What?? :'''Harriet''': But Daddy and I love our little muffin, even if she's emo or not. :'''Henrietta''': I'm not a fucking emo! Don't you even know the fucking diff?! :'''Mr. Biggle''': Do you know how your foul language breaks your mother's heart? :'''Harriet''': Like calling Mommy, "Demon Jizz." :'''Mr. Biggle''': So listen, sweetie, we've found a camp. :''[Harriet brings out a brochure]'' :'''Henrietta''': No. :'''Mr. Biggle''': A camp which is for troubled kids like you, and you get to work outside and learn about responsibility. :'''Henrietta''': I'm not going to any fucking camp! :'''Mr. Biggle''': It's for two weeks, and when you come back we can talk about earning back some of your privileges. :'''Henrietta''': I won't come back because I'll be fucking dead. I'll walk out of that camp and I'll walk the streets until I probably get picked up and gang-banged by criminals until I'm bleeding out my fucking eyes!! :'''Harriet''': They have a horseshoe pit where you can challenge the other kids to horseshoes. <hr width=50%/> :'''Worker''': All right now, you say that you witnessed your friend being abused by her parents. :'''Michael''': Yes. They called her an emo. :'''Worker''': What's wrong with that? :'''Michael''': Emos suck! Their vile, self-pitying, depressed assholes! :'''Worker''': So, why do you think they called her that? :'''Michael''': Because she's Goth, and some ignorant people don't know the difference! :'''Worker''': What ''is'' the difference? :'''Pete''': Oh my God! They're totally different! :'''Worker''': Okay, different how? :'''Pete''': They're, you know, one is good and an' emos are horrible! ''[flips hair]'' You're, you know... They're posers! :'''Firkle''': Emos suck my Goth balls. :'''Michael''': Alright. alright, think of it this way: a goth believes that deep down the world is totally fucked up. But an ''emo'' thinks that deep down, ''they'' are totally fucked up. :'''Worker''': That's not much of a difference. :'''Pete''': That's a huge fucking difference! :'''Michael''': Okay. okay, look, emos are more prone to suicide. :'''Pete''': This fuckin' bitch, man. :'''Michael''': But goths are more prone to be depressed that so many people commit suicide. :'''Pete''': Goth's darkness is nihilistic whereas Emos is cynical. :'''Michael''': Wait, I thought ''we'' were cynical. Whatever, it doesn't matter. :'''Pete''': No, see, you're nihilistic. :'''Michael''': Oh, yeah, you're right. <hr width=50%/> :''[Pete, Michael and Firkle wait at a bus stop for Henrietta to arrive]'' :'''Pete''': What if she comes back, and she's all preppy and conformist? :'''Michael''': She's only been there two weeks. They can't have changed her that much. Can they have? :''[the bus arrives and opens the doors; Henrietta appears]'' :'''Firkle''': Oh, my, God. :'''Henrietta''': Hey guys. :'''Pete''': What the hell have they done to you? :'''Henrietta''': What do you mean? They couldn't do anything. They can't fix me. They don't even understand me. ''[walks away]'' :'''Michael''': Oh, my God, it's worse than we thought! They made her ''emo!'' <hr width=50%/> :'''Michael''': What did they do you you? At that camp? :'''Henrietta''': What do you mean? Just the usual group therapy crap. :'''Michael''': Don't take this the wrong way, but I think that place turned you into an emo. :'''Henrietta''': That's ridiculous. I'm not anything. I don't fit in anywhere. I'm not emo, okay? :'''Michael''': Then why are you listening to Sunny Day Real Estate? I was thinking, maybe they just made you confused at that place. Maybe they didn't know what they were doing. But then I started thinking, maybe that place... turned you emo on purpose. Like maybe they ''knew'' what they were doing. :'''Henrietta''': You should probably stop digging for answers. :'''Michael''': What? :'''Henrietta''': There's no winning this for you. Soon the entire world will be emo. It is our time. :'''Michael''': Nooo waaaaay. :'''Henrietta''': Nobody understands us. And they won't understand until it is far too late. :'''Michael''': Oh my god no waaaaaaaaay. :'''Henrietta''': Do not fight it, Michael. Is being emo really all that different from being goth? ''[in an evil deep voice]'' ''JOIN US!'' :'''Michael''': No waaay! No way no waaaaaay! :'''Ringtone on Pete's phone''': Death and despair! Death and despair! Death and despair! Death and desp- :'''Pete''': ''[answers the phone]'' Hello? :'''Michael''': It's worse than we thought. :'''Pete''': What is? Everything? :'''Michael''': No! I mean Henrietta. I confronted her and she was all like "I am emo! And emos are going to rule the world" and I was like "No waaay!" and she was like "Yeah, soon it will be too late." and I was all "No waaay!" :'''Pete''': No way. :'''Michael''': Yeah, so listen. Call up Firkle and meet me at Village Inn. I gotta run home but I'll be there in ten minutes. ''[makes it to his house in a flash, locks the front door, and starts to run upstairs]'' :'''Michael's Mother''': Michael?! Michael! :'''Michael''': ''[leaning over the rail]'' Can't now, Mom! I've got an emergency! :'''Michael's Father''': In the dining room now, Michael, let's go. ''[Michael enters the dining room with his parents sitting at the table, holding hands]'' Have a seat, son. ''[Michael takes an opposite seat]'' Your mom and I have decided you're gonna go away for a little while. :'''Michael''': What? :'''Michael's Father''': ''[holds up the same brochure Harriet held up two weeks earlier]'' We've been put in touch with this camp for troubled kids like you and-- :'''Michael''': What the hell are you talking about? :'''Michael's Mother''': This place gonna fix you, make you normal child! :''[Michael's Father takes him outside and towards the truck]'' :'''Michael''': No! You gotta listen to me! You don't know what you're doing! You fucking conformists! ''[His dad puts him in the truck and starts to back up, he looks across the street and sees Henrietta with her four emo friends; gasps in horror]'' They're EVIL!!!! <hr width=50%/> :''[Biggle Residence; Henrietta's bedroom]'' :'''Henrietta''': ''[cutting herself on her arm]'' Are you guys getting into that Fall Out Boy concert? :'''Emo Girl''': ''[cutting herself on her arm as well]'' I can't. I'm too depressed. I keep cutting myself. :'''Henrietta''': Yeah. I'm cutting myself to hurt this worthless body that I'm in. :'''Harriet''': ''[knocks on the door and opens it; holding a plate of cookies]'' Henrietta, I baked cookies for your new little Emo friends. :'''Henrietta''': Not now, Mom! Can't you see I'm hurting?! I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment! Sorry I'm not the pretty cheerleader you always wanted! :''[Harriet closes the door and goes down to the living room]'' :'''Mr. Biggle''': Does she still seem better? :'''Harriet''': Oh, much better! She didn't call me a bitch, and she actually apologized to me. :'''Mr. Biggle''': Well, that's more like it. <hr width=50%/> :'''Pete''': Alright, listen up. Once we find our friend, we've gotta torch the place and get out. :'''Firkle''': ''[coughs]'' Dude, Edgar, can you not smoke in the car? :'''Poe''' You can't tell me what to do! Who elected you the mayor of me?! :'''Pete''' Cut it out, Edgar! It's annoying everybody! :'''Poe''' God, you guys are so lame! And if you want my help, you'd better all stop calling me Edgar. :'''Black Vamp''': It is your name, isn't it? :'''Poe''': That's the name my stupid parents gave me! I like to be called by my Goth name: Night Pain. :'''Everyone''': Oh, God. :'''Poe''': What? You guys are posers! :'''Black Vamp''': Hey, just so you all know, if one of you ain't who you say they is, and we get inside that base and you reveal you're actually one of them Emo motherfuckers in disguise, I WILL go crazy on yo' ass! :'''Poe''': If one of us is a traitor, it's probably your wannabe vampire leader. :'''Mike''': Oh, fuck off, NightPain. :'''Poe''': Make me, poser. <hr width=50%/> :'''Henrietta''': So, my friends. Have you made the transformation? :'''Pete''': Uh, Henrietta, we have some bad news. The plants you think took over your body and made you emo? They're just plants. From Lowe's Home and Garden. :'''Michael''': It was all a prank by some douchey network reality show. :'''Henrietta''': No. There's an organic spore in my head that made me switch cliques so easily. :'''Michael''': No, you just kind of did it on your own. :'''Henrietta''': Oh my God. This is so... embarrassing. :'''Pete''': Ah, hang on. What I meant to say was we just infiltrated the Emo lair and... we torched the plant leader. :'''Henrietta''': Oh. Oh! I'm, I'm-I'm me again! Oh my God, I'm all better. Thanks you guys. :'''Harriet''': ''[enters]'' Henrietta, I have dinner ready. :'''Henrietta''': Shut up, Mom! Leave me alone, you conformist bag of demon jizz! :'''Harriet''': ...Fatty. ''[closes the door]'' === ''[[w:Taming Strange|Taming Strange]]'' [17.05] === :'''Kyle''': Hey Ike, how's it going? :'''Ike''': Get out of my room, Kyle! I'm on my computer! :'''Kyle''': I just wanted to see if maybe you want to do fingerpaints with me. :'''Ike''': Do I look like I wanna do fuckin' fingerpaints?! Look at the fuckin' zits on my face! :'''Kyle''': Ike, I just want us to be friends again. :'''Ike''': Then stop harassing me, bro! You don't know what it's like to be a baby goin' through puberty! I don't know whether to watch ''Yo Gabba Gabba'' or go out and tame some strange! :'''Kyle''': Yeah, let's watch ''Yo Gabba Gabba,'' like old times. <hr width=50%/> :'''Kyle''': Hey, Ike. :'''Ike''': Get out of my room, Kyle! I'm playing trucks! :'''Kyle''': Ike, I'm sorry, but I couldn't get us out of school Friday. I can't take you to Yo Gabba Gabba Live. :'''Ike''': You promised! :'''Kyle''': I couldn't get in to see the principal, Ike. :'''Ike''': Well what am I supposed to do, go see it myself?! I'm a little baby! Who's gonna hold my fuckin' hand?! You don't give a shit about how I feel! :'''Kyle''': Ike, I do! I just- :'''Ike''': You just love pushing me around! Is that what you wanna do, Kyle?! Kick the baby?! Well alrighty bro! Come on, Kyle! Kick the baby! Come on bro! Kick the fuckin' baby! Let's see you try it, wuss! <hr width=50%/> :'''Canadian Healthcare Administrator''': It was a mistake. :'''His wife''': What? :'''Canadian Healthcare Administrator''': Trying to reform Canada's healthcare system and being too stubborn to admit it wasn't working. Even when my wife said the system was too complicated, I wouldn't listen. :'''His wife''': Oh, Terry, I was just trying to get your attention. I'm sorry I queefed in your face. :'''Canadian Healthcare Administrator''': I deserved it. Anyone who thinks streamlining healthcare into an integrated computer system would [[w:HealthCare.gov#Issues_during_launch|go smoothly]] deserves a giant queef in their face. <hr width=50%/> :'''Kyle''': ''[enters the living room]'' Ike? :'''Ike''': Kyle! It's Dora the Explorer! :'''Dora''': Come on, let's climb the mountain. :'''Kyle''': It sure is. Do you want me to watch it with you, Ike? :'''Ike''': Yay! :''[Kyle joins him on the sofa]'' :'''Dora''': We made it all the way to the top. :'''Ike''': Oh man, I wouldn't mind hittin' that. I bet she's got that hot Pureto Rican strange. :'''Kyle''': Yeah, I bet she does. === ''[[w:Ginger Cow|Ginger Cow]]'' [17.06] === :'''Cartman''': I'm pretty sure that this cow can make ginger cheese. Which is like a Swiss cheese but instead of holes it has freckles. <hr width=50%/> :'''Kyle''': ''[enters the principal's office where Mr. Mackey, Principal Victoria, and three Israel rabbis are all waiting]'' What's going on? :'''Principal Victoria''': Kyle, these men have apparently come all the way from Israel to speak with me, but... we need a translator. :'''Kyle''': I don't speak Hebrew. :'''Mr. Mackey''': Kyle, please try your best. It seems pretty important. === ''[[w:Black Friday (South Park)|Black Friday]]'' [17.07] === :'''Randy''': Winter's coming, Sharon, and I'm a busy little bee. Buzz! Buzz! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Butters''': Wizard Cartman, I started watching Game of Thrones. :'''Cartman''': Ah, yes, paladin Butters. Are you enjoying it? :'''Butters''': Well, it's pretty good, I guess, but have you ever noticed that almost ever time they show a guy's weiner, that guy's character is gay? :'''Cartman''': What do you mean? :'''Butters''': Well, it's just that they have a lot of girls' boobs and vaginas and stuff, but most times they show a guy's weiner it's because that guy is in love scenes with another guy. You think it's because gay weiners are less threatening to women viewers? :'''Cartman''': I believe you might be missing the greater point of the show, paladin Butters. :'''Butters''': Yeah, I know - winter is going and there's dragons and zombies on the way; I'm pretty excited for that. Just could do with a little less gay weiner is all. === ''[[w:A Song of Ass and Fire|A Song of Ass and Fire]]'' [17.08] === :''[Butters and Scott visit [[George R. R. Martin]] ]'' :'''George R. R. Martin''': It's the Red Wedding, isn't it? You hate how I killed everyone off? :'''Butters''': Uh, no sir, we just really need to know about the dragons, but they never seem to show up. :'''George R. R. Martin''': Oh, they're coming; the dragons are on their way. :'''Butters''': When? :'''George R. R. Martin''': You really wanna know? :'''Butters''': Please, it's urgent! :'''George R. R. Martin''': All right. King Joffrey is still at King's Landing, but there is a young blacksmith who wakes up one morning with a plan. And his weiner gently hangs down between his legs, soft and flaccid, his weiner glistens in the golden sunlight... :'''Butters''': No! No! Can we just skip the weiner stuff and just get to the dragons? :'''Scott''': ''[winces painfully]'' Aw shit, I think I'm... I think I'm gonna faint. :'''Butters''': Uh, what's the matter, Scott? :'''Scott''': I told you, I have to eat every two hours. :'''Butters''': He's diabetic. :'''George R. R. Martin''': Oh Jeez, uh, why don't you kids come out from the cold? I'll order some pizzas. :'''Butters''': Oh. Okay, thanks. :'''George R. R. Martin''': Come on in! I'll tell you everything that's gonna happen in "Game of Thrones". <hr width="50%"/> :'''George R. R. Martin''': ...So then Samwell Tarly sees the army approaching, and his wiener is about this big...He knows that Stannis Baratheon's wiener is probably shriveled from the cold. Samwell has to rally his men, so what does he do? He takes out his wiener... :''[Martin unzips his pants and demonstrates his story]'' :'''George R. R. Martin''': ...and he dangles it around for all his men to see. :''[Martin shakes his hips and pretends his wiener is a bell]'' :'''Scott''': ''[turns away, disgusted]'' AAAH! :'''Butters''': OOAH! Uh, sir, you said pizzas were coming! :'''George R. R. Martin''': Yeah yeah, they're on their way. They're still coming. So Samwell's wiener goes... :''[Martin shakes his hips around, as if his wiener were a bell and makes sounds for it]'' :'''Butters''': But you said they were on their way like three hours ago! :'''Scott''': If I don't get pizza soon, I'm goin' to pass out. :'''George R. R. Martin''': Don't worry. They're coming. Pizzas are on their way. They're gonna be amazing. Now, Jon Snow finally faces Jaime Lannister, and this guy's wiener is, you know, huge, right? So it's not goin' to be easy. :'''Scott''': Ehhh... === ''[[w:Titties and Dragons|Titties and Dragons]]'' [17.09] === :'''Cartman''': Did you see ''Prometheus''? I don't even think the writers knew what that was about. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cartman''': You guys wanna play outside or something? :'''Kyle''': Cartman? Your side won, dude. Why are you so sad? :'''Cartman''': I just... I can't get that image of [[Bill Gates]] bashing that guy's head apart out of my eyes. :'''Stan''': Yeah, I know what you mean. Well, look guys: Xbox won the console wars. What are we gonna do? Not play video games? :'''Cartman''': The last few weeks we've been too busy to play video games and look at what we did. There's been drama, action, romance. I mean, honestly you guys - do we need video games to play? :'''Butters''': Yeah. :'''Jimmy''': That's right. :'''Butters''': That's right. :'''Jimmy''': Yeah, you kind of make a point. :'''Cartman''': Maybe we started to rely on Microsoft and Sony so much that we forgot that all we need to play are the simplest things! Like... like this! ''[picks up a broken wooden stick]'' We can play with this! Screw video games, dude; who fucking needs them? :''[everybody shouts, "YEAH!"]'' :'''Cartman''': Fuck 'em! ''[holds the stick up to the sun]'' :'''Commercial announcer''': The South Park video game. Coming to stores soon! :''[an image of the years-in-development real life game, South Park: The Stick of Truth, appears on screen]'' :'''Butters''': ''[appearing in the lower left-hand corner of the screen]'' Yeah, and if you believe that, I got a big floppy wiener to dangle in your face. === ''[[w:The Hobbit (South Park)|The Hobbit]]'' [17.10] === :'''Wendy''': ''[referring to Butters turning down a fat girl whom asked him out]'' What the fuck is your problem?! :'''Butters''': Oh, hey, Wendy! :'''Wendy''': Are you some kind of asshole? Is that it? :'''Butters''': Am I just an asshole? :'''Wendy''': Yeah! :'''Butters''': ''[looking himself over]'' Well, no - I have arms and legs and everything. :'''Wendy''': Lisa Berger asked you out, and you called her fat?! Do you have ''any'' idea how you made her feel?! She's a really nice girl! <hr width="50%"/> :''[Butters, Kenny, Tweek, Craig and Clyde make fun of Lisa. Cartman does not join their laughter]'' :'''Cartman''': You guys, come on. That's not kewl. You shouldn't rip on her because she's fat. You should rip on her 'cause she's ugly. Okay? She looks like someone hit her in the face with a hot shovel, and that's why she sucks, alright? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wendy''': ''[seeing all the girls hearing her criticizing their looks]'' Oh, God damn it. :'''Bebe''': ''[enraged]'' You ''HATER!'' :'''Mr. Mackey''': ''[incensed]'' Wendy, IN MY OFFICE RIGHT NOW, M'KAY! == External links == {{wikipedia|South Park season 17}} [[Category:South Park seasons|17]] fyr019zshitavzztl8yjhdxjhfel62d 3942220 3942219 2026-05-18T00:43:57Z ~2026-29057-99 3321460 /* Informative Murder Porn [17.02] */ 3942220 wikitext text/x-wiki {{DISPLAYTITLE:''South Park''/Season 17}} {{South Park header}} '''''[[w:South Park|South Park]]''''' (1997–present) is an adult animated television series created by [[w:Trey Parker|Trey Parker]] and [[w:Matt Stone|Matt Stone]]. Distributed by and airing on Comedy Central, it follows the surreal adventures of four young boys who live in the small town of South Park, Colorado. === ''[[w:Let Go, Let Gov|Let Go, Let Gov]]'' [17.01] === :''[Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are waiting for the bus at the bus stop]'' :'''Kyle''': ''[infuriated]'' I am so sick of that stupid bitch! Blabbin' pussy little stank! Why do people talk on their phone like that?! I can't even get a minute of piece before that bitch walks in, holding the cell phone out like this, and talking on speaker phone! Nobody wants to hear your goddamned conversations, you little bitch! You're not that important! :'''Cartman''': ''[talking to a friend on the phone, via speaker]'' Yeah, I know dude. I'm tellng you, it was the worst pain in my entire life. :'''Lawrence''': ''How many hours were you guys playing?'' :'''Cartman''': Like six hours, dude. And my friends were all like "Dude, Cartman, we need you to keep playing defense!" :'''Kyle''': AAAARGH! :'''Lawrence''': ''You were playing football?'' :'''Cartman''': Yeah, but I was like "I can't you guys. I twisted my ankle." In the end though, they really needed me to play, so I just played through the pain, you know what I'm sayin'? :'''Kyle''': That is ''not'' what happened! You totally started crying and quit the game! :'''Cartman''': ''[covering the phone]'' Kyle, this is a private conversation. :'''Kyle''': Then take that shit speaker phone off! :'''Lawrence''': ''Is that that same kid?'' :'''Cartman''': Yeah, it's that kid Kyle again. He's a total boner, always listening in on my calls. :'''Kyle''': How do we have a choice?! :'''Cartman''': Stop listening to my conversation, Kyle! What are you, the NSA?! Lawrence, remember how I was tellin' you the NSA listens to everyone's phone calls and reads all our e-mails? :'''Lawrence''': ''Yeah, yeah, you said that.'' :'''Toby''': My dad says the government keeps a database on everyone. :'''Cartman''': Who is that? Is that Toby? :'''Toby''': Yeah. :'''Cartman''': Dude, Toby, are you over at Lawrence's? :'''Toby''': Yeah, we're ditching school. :'''Cartman''': You're what? What, you say? :'''Lawrence''': ''Me and Toby are ditching school!'' <hr width=50%> :'''Cartman''': I've done it. I've infiltrated the NSA, and gained their trust. So far, I've not ascertained how they were able to keep track of everyone in the country, but I'm close. Very close. I just hope that I'm not found out as a whistleblower before I'm able to expose their entire operation. :'''Date''': What is that voice? :'''[[Alec Baldwin]]''': Some little faggot in my head. === ''[[w:Informative Murder Porn|Informative Murder Porn]]'' [17.02] === :'''Stan''': ''[wakes up as his phone rings and answers it]'' 'Sup, dude? :'''Cartman''': Dude, do you know Aaron Hagen? :'''Stan''': Uh, yeah, the first grader? :'''Cartman''': You should come down to his house. His dad just killed his mom. :'''Stan''': What?! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Randy''': ''[naked and at Stan's door after finding out a parental lock has been put on the TV]'' Stan. Stan! How do you tame a horse in Minecraft? :'''Stan''': ''[barely awake in bed]'' What? :'''Randy''': What is [[w:Minecraft|Minecraft]] and how do you tame a horse in it? :'''Stan''': You guys don't need to be watching that stuff. :'''Randy''': Oh! Come on! You can't block your parents from watching informative murder porn! What? Ya-you think if we watch shows about married people killing each other all the time we're gonna go out and do it? That's stupid! I'm not going to go out and kill your mom just because I watch Investigative Discovery, Stan. I'd be impossible to clear away all the DNA evidence anyway! Even if I hired someone else to kill her, I'd have to kill that person, too, because 96% of the time that person eventually tells the truth! I thought this through a lot! Stan? '''You're a lousy kid! I WISH JADEN SMITH WAS MY SON!''' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Stephen''': Who do our children think they are, blocking our TV content?! :'''Mrs. Tweak''': How are they able to do this with their smartphones? :'''Randy''': It's all right. Our kids think they outsmarted us, but ''we're'' the ones who pay the cable company. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Randy''': Nice one, Stotch! Your castle fucking sucks! :'''Stephen''': Ah, go to hell, you griefer! === ''[[w:World War Zimmerman|World War Zimmerman]]'' [17.03] === === ''[[w:Goth Kids 3: Dawn of the Posers|Goth Kids 3: Dawn of the Posers]]'' [17.04] === :'''Goth Singer''': Goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time! :'''Michael, Henrietta Biggle''': Death and sadness everywhere, loneliness and degradation! :'''Goth Singer''': Goin' down to South Park, gonna take my woes with me! :'''Pete''': Nightmares every night, posers spouting "Let's go shopping!" :'''Goth Singer''': Heading out to South Park, cause I cannot unwind! :'''Firkle''': I like spiders, loss and rain, I'm only happy when I'm in pain! :'''Goth Singer''': So I'm goin' down to South Park... to die! <hr width=50%/> :'''Harriet''': Henrietta, sweetie. :'''Henrietta''': Shut up, Mom! Go away! :'''Harriet''': Ohh, but remember, Daddy wanted to talk to you in the living room, my dark little princess. :'''Henrietta''': Stop calling me a princess. I'm not a beauty queen in a Disney movie! :'''Harriet''': We'll be waiting in the living room. :'''Henrietta''': God, she just ''never'' stops! <hr width=50%/> :'''Mr. Biggle''': Have a seat, Henrietta. :'''Harriet''': Ooh, a little family chitchat. :'''Henrietta''': Shut up, Mom. :'''Mr. Biggle''': Henrietta, as you know, your mother and I have been concerned about your behavior for some time. :'''Henrietta''': Are we really doing this again? :'''Mr. Biggle''': We've had a hard time coping with the dark things you're into, but we've finally had some counseling, and apparently we're not the only parents who have a child that is... emo. :'''Henrietta''': What?? :'''Harriet''': But Daddy and I love our little muffin, even if she's emo or not. :'''Henrietta''': I'm not a fucking emo! Don't you even know the fucking diff?! :'''Mr. Biggle''': Do you know how your foul language breaks your mother's heart? :'''Harriet''': Like calling Mommy, "Demon Jizz." :'''Mr. Biggle''': So listen, sweetie, we've found a camp. :''[Harriet brings out a brochure]'' :'''Henrietta''': No. :'''Mr. Biggle''': A camp which is for troubled kids like you, and you get to work outside and learn about responsibility. :'''Henrietta''': I'm not going to any fucking camp! :'''Mr. Biggle''': It's for two weeks, and when you come back we can talk about earning back some of your privileges. :'''Henrietta''': I won't come back because I'll be fucking dead. I'll walk out of that camp and I'll walk the streets until I probably get picked up and gang-banged by criminals until I'm bleeding out my fucking eyes!! :'''Harriet''': They have a horseshoe pit where you can challenge the other kids to horseshoes. <hr width=50%/> :'''Worker''': All right now, you say that you witnessed your friend being abused by her parents. :'''Michael''': Yes. They called her an emo. :'''Worker''': What's wrong with that? :'''Michael''': Emos suck! Their vile, self-pitying, depressed assholes! :'''Worker''': So, why do you think they called her that? :'''Michael''': Because she's Goth, and some ignorant people don't know the difference! :'''Worker''': What ''is'' the difference? :'''Pete''': Oh my God! They're totally different! :'''Worker''': Okay, different how? :'''Pete''': They're, you know, one is good and an' emos are horrible! ''[flips hair]'' You're, you know... They're posers! :'''Firkle''': Emos suck my Goth balls. :'''Michael''': Alright. alright, think of it this way: a goth believes that deep down the world is totally fucked up. But an ''emo'' thinks that deep down, ''they'' are totally fucked up. :'''Worker''': That's not much of a difference. :'''Pete''': That's a huge fucking difference! :'''Michael''': Okay. okay, look, emos are more prone to suicide. :'''Pete''': This fuckin' bitch, man. :'''Michael''': But goths are more prone to be depressed that so many people commit suicide. :'''Pete''': Goth's darkness is nihilistic whereas Emos is cynical. :'''Michael''': Wait, I thought ''we'' were cynical. Whatever, it doesn't matter. :'''Pete''': No, see, you're nihilistic. :'''Michael''': Oh, yeah, you're right. <hr width=50%/> :''[Pete, Michael and Firkle wait at a bus stop for Henrietta to arrive]'' :'''Pete''': What if she comes back, and she's all preppy and conformist? :'''Michael''': She's only been there two weeks. They can't have changed her that much. Can they have? :''[the bus arrives and opens the doors; Henrietta appears]'' :'''Firkle''': Oh, my, God. :'''Henrietta''': Hey guys. :'''Pete''': What the hell have they done to you? :'''Henrietta''': What do you mean? They couldn't do anything. They can't fix me. They don't even understand me. ''[walks away]'' :'''Michael''': Oh, my God, it's worse than we thought! They made her ''emo!'' <hr width=50%/> :'''Michael''': What did they do you you? At that camp? :'''Henrietta''': What do you mean? Just the usual group therapy crap. :'''Michael''': Don't take this the wrong way, but I think that place turned you into an emo. :'''Henrietta''': That's ridiculous. I'm not anything. I don't fit in anywhere. I'm not emo, okay? :'''Michael''': Then why are you listening to Sunny Day Real Estate? I was thinking, maybe they just made you confused at that place. Maybe they didn't know what they were doing. But then I started thinking, maybe that place... turned you emo on purpose. Like maybe they ''knew'' what they were doing. :'''Henrietta''': You should probably stop digging for answers. :'''Michael''': What? :'''Henrietta''': There's no winning this for you. Soon the entire world will be emo. It is our time. :'''Michael''': Nooo waaaaay. :'''Henrietta''': Nobody understands us. And they won't understand until it is far too late. :'''Michael''': Oh my god no waaaaaaaaay. :'''Henrietta''': Do not fight it, Michael. Is being emo really all that different from being goth? ''[in an evil deep voice]'' ''JOIN US!'' :'''Michael''': No waaay! No way no waaaaaay! :'''Ringtone on Pete's phone''': Death and despair! Death and despair! Death and despair! Death and desp- :'''Pete''': ''[answers the phone]'' Hello? :'''Michael''': It's worse than we thought. :'''Pete''': What is? Everything? :'''Michael''': No! I mean Henrietta. I confronted her and she was all like "I am emo! And emos are going to rule the world" and I was like "No waaay!" and she was like "Yeah, soon it will be too late." and I was all "No waaay!" :'''Pete''': No way. :'''Michael''': Yeah, so listen. Call up Firkle and meet me at Village Inn. I gotta run home but I'll be there in ten minutes. ''[makes it to his house in a flash, locks the front door, and starts to run upstairs]'' :'''Michael's Mother''': Michael?! Michael! :'''Michael''': ''[leaning over the rail]'' Can't now, Mom! I've got an emergency! :'''Michael's Father''': In the dining room now, Michael, let's go. ''[Michael enters the dining room with his parents sitting at the table, holding hands]'' Have a seat, son. ''[Michael takes an opposite seat]'' Your mom and I have decided you're gonna go away for a little while. :'''Michael''': What? :'''Michael's Father''': ''[holds up the same brochure Harriet held up two weeks earlier]'' We've been put in touch with this camp for troubled kids like you and-- :'''Michael''': What the hell are you talking about? :'''Michael's Mother''': This place gonna fix you, make you normal child! :''[Michael's Father takes him outside and towards the truck]'' :'''Michael''': No! You gotta listen to me! You don't know what you're doing! You fucking conformists! ''[His dad puts him in the truck and starts to back up, he looks across the street and sees Henrietta with her four emo friends; gasps in horror]'' They're EVIL!!!! <hr width=50%/> :''[Biggle Residence; Henrietta's bedroom]'' :'''Henrietta''': ''[cutting herself on her arm]'' Are you guys getting into that Fall Out Boy concert? :'''Emo Girl''': ''[cutting herself on her arm as well]'' I can't. I'm too depressed. I keep cutting myself. :'''Henrietta''': Yeah. I'm cutting myself to hurt this worthless body that I'm in. :'''Harriet''': ''[knocks on the door and opens it; holding a plate of cookies]'' Henrietta, I baked cookies for your new little Emo friends. :'''Henrietta''': Not now, Mom! Can't you see I'm hurting?! I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment! Sorry I'm not the pretty cheerleader you always wanted! :''[Harriet closes the door and goes down to the living room]'' :'''Mr. Biggle''': Does she still seem better? :'''Harriet''': Oh, much better! She didn't call me a bitch, and she actually apologized to me. :'''Mr. Biggle''': Well, that's more like it. <hr width=50%/> :'''Pete''': Alright, listen up. Once we find our friend, we've gotta torch the place and get out. :'''Firkle''': ''[coughs]'' Dude, Edgar, can you not smoke in the car? :'''Poe''' You can't tell me what to do! Who elected you the mayor of me?! :'''Pete''' Cut it out, Edgar! It's annoying everybody! :'''Poe''' God, you guys are so lame! And if you want my help, you'd better all stop calling me Edgar. :'''Black Vamp''': It is your name, isn't it? :'''Poe''': That's the name my stupid parents gave me! I like to be called by my Goth name: Night Pain. :'''Everyone''': Oh, God. :'''Poe''': What? You guys are posers! :'''Black Vamp''': Hey, just so you all know, if one of you ain't who you say they is, and we get inside that base and you reveal you're actually one of them Emo motherfuckers in disguise, I WILL go crazy on yo' ass! :'''Poe''': If one of us is a traitor, it's probably your wannabe vampire leader. :'''Mike''': Oh, fuck off, NightPain. :'''Poe''': Make me, poser. <hr width=50%/> :'''Henrietta''': So, my friends. Have you made the transformation? :'''Pete''': Uh, Henrietta, we have some bad news. The plants you think took over your body and made you emo? They're just plants. From Lowe's Home and Garden. :'''Michael''': It was all a prank by some douchey network reality show. :'''Henrietta''': No. There's an organic spore in my head that made me switch cliques so easily. :'''Michael''': No, you just kind of did it on your own. :'''Henrietta''': Oh my God. This is so... embarrassing. :'''Pete''': Ah, hang on. What I meant to say was we just infiltrated the Emo lair and... we torched the plant leader. :'''Henrietta''': Oh. Oh! I'm, I'm-I'm me again! Oh my God, I'm all better. Thanks you guys. :'''Harriet''': ''[enters]'' Henrietta, I have dinner ready. :'''Henrietta''': Shut up, Mom! Leave me alone, you conformist bag of demon jizz! :'''Harriet''': ...Fatty. ''[closes the door]'' === ''[[w:Taming Strange|Taming Strange]]'' [17.05] === :'''Kyle''': Hey Ike, how's it going? :'''Ike''': Get out of my room, Kyle! I'm on my computer! :'''Kyle''': I just wanted to see if maybe you want to do fingerpaints with me. :'''Ike''': Do I look like I wanna do fuckin' fingerpaints?! Look at the fuckin' zits on my face! :'''Kyle''': Ike, I just want us to be friends again. :'''Ike''': Then stop harassing me, bro! You don't know what it's like to be a baby goin' through puberty! I don't know whether to watch ''Yo Gabba Gabba'' or go out and tame some strange! :'''Kyle''': Yeah, let's watch ''Yo Gabba Gabba,'' like old times. <hr width=50%/> :'''Kyle''': Hey, Ike. :'''Ike''': Get out of my room, Kyle! I'm playing trucks! :'''Kyle''': Ike, I'm sorry, but I couldn't get us out of school Friday. I can't take you to Yo Gabba Gabba Live. :'''Ike''': You promised! :'''Kyle''': I couldn't get in to see the principal, Ike. :'''Ike''': Well what am I supposed to do, go see it myself?! I'm a little baby! Who's gonna hold my fuckin' hand?! You don't give a shit about how I feel! :'''Kyle''': Ike, I do! I just- :'''Ike''': You just love pushing me around! Is that what you wanna do, Kyle?! Kick the baby?! Well alrighty bro! Come on, Kyle! Kick the baby! Come on bro! Kick the fuckin' baby! Let's see you try it, wuss! <hr width=50%/> :'''Canadian Healthcare Administrator''': It was a mistake. :'''His wife''': What? :'''Canadian Healthcare Administrator''': Trying to reform Canada's healthcare system and being too stubborn to admit it wasn't working. Even when my wife said the system was too complicated, I wouldn't listen. :'''His wife''': Oh, Terry, I was just trying to get your attention. I'm sorry I queefed in your face. :'''Canadian Healthcare Administrator''': I deserved it. Anyone who thinks streamlining healthcare into an integrated computer system would [[w:HealthCare.gov#Issues_during_launch|go smoothly]] deserves a giant queef in their face. <hr width=50%/> :'''Kyle''': ''[enters the living room]'' Ike? :'''Ike''': Kyle! It's Dora the Explorer! :'''Dora''': Come on, let's climb the mountain. :'''Kyle''': It sure is. Do you want me to watch it with you, Ike? :'''Ike''': Yay! :''[Kyle joins him on the sofa]'' :'''Dora''': We made it all the way to the top. :'''Ike''': Oh man, I wouldn't mind hittin' that. I bet she's got that hot Pureto Rican strange. :'''Kyle''': Yeah, I bet she does. === ''[[w:Ginger Cow|Ginger Cow]]'' [17.06] === :'''Cartman''': I'm pretty sure that this cow can make ginger cheese. Which is like a Swiss cheese but instead of holes it has freckles. <hr width=50%/> :'''Kyle''': ''[enters the principal's office where Mr. Mackey, Principal Victoria, and three Israel rabbis are all waiting]'' What's going on? :'''Principal Victoria''': Kyle, these men have apparently come all the way from Israel to speak with me, but... we need a translator. :'''Kyle''': I don't speak Hebrew. :'''Mr. Mackey''': Kyle, please try your best. It seems pretty important. === ''[[w:Black Friday (South Park)|Black Friday]]'' [17.07] === :'''Randy''': Winter's coming, Sharon, and I'm a busy little bee. Buzz! Buzz! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Butters''': Wizard Cartman, I started watching Game of Thrones. :'''Cartman''': Ah, yes, paladin Butters. Are you enjoying it? :'''Butters''': Well, it's pretty good, I guess, but have you ever noticed that almost ever time they show a guy's weiner, that guy's character is gay? :'''Cartman''': What do you mean? :'''Butters''': Well, it's just that they have a lot of girls' boobs and vaginas and stuff, but most times they show a guy's weiner it's because that guy is in love scenes with another guy. You think it's because gay weiners are less threatening to women viewers? :'''Cartman''': I believe you might be missing the greater point of the show, paladin Butters. :'''Butters''': Yeah, I know - winter is going and there's dragons and zombies on the way; I'm pretty excited for that. Just could do with a little less gay weiner is all. === ''[[w:A Song of Ass and Fire|A Song of Ass and Fire]]'' [17.08] === :''[Butters and Scott visit [[George R. R. Martin]] ]'' :'''George R. R. Martin''': It's the Red Wedding, isn't it? You hate how I killed everyone off? :'''Butters''': Uh, no sir, we just really need to know about the dragons, but they never seem to show up. :'''George R. R. Martin''': Oh, they're coming; the dragons are on their way. :'''Butters''': When? :'''George R. R. Martin''': You really wanna know? :'''Butters''': Please, it's urgent! :'''George R. R. Martin''': All right. King Joffrey is still at King's Landing, but there is a young blacksmith who wakes up one morning with a plan. And his weiner gently hangs down between his legs, soft and flaccid, his weiner glistens in the golden sunlight... :'''Butters''': No! No! Can we just skip the weiner stuff and just get to the dragons? :'''Scott''': ''[winces painfully]'' Aw shit, I think I'm... I think I'm gonna faint. :'''Butters''': Uh, what's the matter, Scott? :'''Scott''': I told you, I have to eat every two hours. :'''Butters''': He's diabetic. :'''George R. R. Martin''': Oh Jeez, uh, why don't you kids come out from the cold? I'll order some pizzas. :'''Butters''': Oh. Okay, thanks. :'''George R. R. Martin''': Come on in! I'll tell you everything that's gonna happen in "Game of Thrones". <hr width="50%"/> :'''George R. R. Martin''': ...So then Samwell Tarly sees the army approaching, and his wiener is about this big...He knows that Stannis Baratheon's wiener is probably shriveled from the cold. Samwell has to rally his men, so what does he do? He takes out his wiener... :''[Martin unzips his pants and demonstrates his story]'' :'''George R. R. Martin''': ...and he dangles it around for all his men to see. :''[Martin shakes his hips and pretends his wiener is a bell]'' :'''Scott''': ''[turns away, disgusted]'' AAAH! :'''Butters''': OOAH! Uh, sir, you said pizzas were coming! :'''George R. R. Martin''': Yeah yeah, they're on their way. They're still coming. So Samwell's wiener goes... :''[Martin shakes his hips around, as if his wiener were a bell and makes sounds for it]'' :'''Butters''': But you said they were on their way like three hours ago! :'''Scott''': If I don't get pizza soon, I'm goin' to pass out. :'''George R. R. Martin''': Don't worry. They're coming. Pizzas are on their way. They're gonna be amazing. Now, Jon Snow finally faces Jaime Lannister, and this guy's wiener is, you know, huge, right? So it's not goin' to be easy. :'''Scott''': Ehhh... === ''[[w:Titties and Dragons|Titties and Dragons]]'' [17.09] === :'''Cartman''': Did you see ''Prometheus''? I don't even think the writers knew what that was about. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cartman''': You guys wanna play outside or something? :'''Kyle''': Cartman? Your side won, dude. Why are you so sad? :'''Cartman''': I just... I can't get that image of [[Bill Gates]] bashing that guy's head apart out of my eyes. :'''Stan''': Yeah, I know what you mean. Well, look guys: Xbox won the console wars. What are we gonna do? Not play video games? :'''Cartman''': The last few weeks we've been too busy to play video games and look at what we did. There's been drama, action, romance. I mean, honestly you guys - do we need video games to play? :'''Butters''': Yeah. :'''Jimmy''': That's right. :'''Butters''': That's right. :'''Jimmy''': Yeah, you kind of make a point. :'''Cartman''': Maybe we started to rely on Microsoft and Sony so much that we forgot that all we need to play are the simplest things! Like... like this! ''[picks up a broken wooden stick]'' We can play with this! Screw video games, dude; who fucking needs them? :''[everybody shouts, "YEAH!"]'' :'''Cartman''': Fuck 'em! ''[holds the stick up to the sun]'' :'''Commercial announcer''': The South Park video game. Coming to stores soon! :''[an image of the years-in-development real life game, South Park: The Stick of Truth, appears on screen]'' :'''Butters''': ''[appearing in the lower left-hand corner of the screen]'' Yeah, and if you believe that, I got a big floppy wiener to dangle in your face. === ''[[w:The Hobbit (South Park)|The Hobbit]]'' [17.10] === :'''Wendy''': ''[referring to Butters turning down a fat girl whom asked him out]'' What the fuck is your problem?! :'''Butters''': Oh, hey, Wendy! :'''Wendy''': Are you some kind of asshole? Is that it? :'''Butters''': Am I just an asshole? :'''Wendy''': Yeah! :'''Butters''': ''[looking himself over]'' Well, no - I have arms and legs and everything. :'''Wendy''': Lisa Berger asked you out, and you called her fat?! Do you have ''any'' idea how you made her feel?! She's a really nice girl! <hr width="50%"/> :''[Butters, Kenny, Tweek, Craig and Clyde make fun of Lisa. Cartman does not join their laughter]'' :'''Cartman''': You guys, come on. That's not kewl. You shouldn't rip on her because she's fat. You should rip on her 'cause she's ugly. Okay? She looks like someone hit her in the face with a hot shovel, and that's why she sucks, alright? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wendy''': ''[seeing all the girls hearing her criticizing their looks]'' Oh, God damn it. :'''Bebe''': ''[enraged]'' You ''HATER!'' :'''Mr. Mackey''': ''[incensed]'' Wendy, IN MY OFFICE RIGHT NOW, M'KAY! == External links == {{wikipedia|South Park season 17}} [[Category:South Park seasons|17]] 6stowcwr4kzvw8h8mlar821b1e3snr6 0 210768 3942112 3882947 2026-05-17T17:48:48Z ~2026-29750-72 3323633 /* Characters */ 3942112 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''{{w|Boo Boo Runs Wild}}''''' is a 1999 stand-alone special parody of the Hanna-Barbera cartoon series, ''The Yogi Bear Show''. ==Yogi== * Huh? Wha? 12 o'clock? It's too soon for noon! * ''[to Cindy Bear, after becoming savage with Boo Boo]'' '''''HOME WRECKER!!!''''' ==Boo-Boo== * Gosh, Yogi, we're indecent! ==Ranger John Smith== * ''[putting up all sorts of signs]'' Man, keeping order in the forest is hard work! Ah, but it'll be worth it when I see the happy little eyes of the thankful woodland creatures... * Why wasn't it you, Yogi? Why didn't you go wild? It would have been easy then! * Wait till they get a load of my new rules, WHOA NELLIE! If I know Yogi, he won't last too long. And when he transgresses, I'll have him right where I want him! ==Dialogue== :'''Yogi''': Boo-Boo! Get ahold of yourself! :'''Boo-Boo''': ''[after slowly snapping from hearing Ranger Smith's latest regulations]'' I can't take it anymore, Yogi! "Don't do this! Don't do that!" Every time we want to do something fun, or natural, and decent... there's a new rule. And I'm plenty '''''TIRED''''' OF IT! I'm a bear, Yogi... not a man. I was born a bear, and I'm going back to my bear roots! :'''Yogi''': Easy, Boob. :'''Boo-Boo''': NO EASY! NO EASY! From this day forth, I'll no longer dress in the man's attire! And I'll not speak in the man's tongue! From now on, it's going on all fours and grunting for me! <hr width=50%> :''[A weary Yogi shows up at Ranger Smith’s house. He knocks on the door. Smith opens the door and is surprised to see Yogi.]'' :'''Ranger Smith''': Yogi?! ''[sternly]'' Here to confess something? :'''Yogi''': I need to have a little man-to-bear talk with you, Mr. Ranger, sir. ''[enters the cabin]'' :'''Smith''': ''[confused]'' Why... sure, Yogi. Come on in. :''[Ranger Smith follows Yogi in the cabin. Inside, Ranger Smith is pouring Yogi tea in a cup made from a pinecone. Outside, Boo Boo passes the window, groaning.]'' :'''Yogi''': I know we've had our problems in the past, Mr. Ranger. But I'm asking you to set aside our differences, for the sake of the little one. :'''Ranger Smith''': You know, there was a time when I didn’t think I could talk to you on an adult level. I'm proud of the concern you're showing for your young charge. You're showing me a very mature side of yourself. We've had our rows in the past, have we? But now, I feel that we're pals. You’re almost an equal to me, Yogi Bear. Well, mister, what punishment do you have in mind for Boo Boo? :'''Yogi''': Actually, sir, I was thinking more along the lines of a re-type-ward. :'''Ranger Smith''': Hmm, a reward, eh? That's... rather unorthodox. ''[Boo Boo groans outside]'' Well, I guess we could give it a try. ''[the telephone rings]'' 'Scuse me a sec. ''[answers the phone]'' Hello...? :'''Chief''': ''[irately]'' Smith! :'''Ranger Smith''': ''[startled]'' Oh, uh... Hi, chief! What’s up? :'''Chief''': There's a little rogue bear running amuck! He's setting a bad example for the other animals! :'''Ranger Smith''': Y-Yes, sir, I know! I was considering options to alleviate the matter. :'''Chief''': '''''OPTIONS?!''''' You will take the ONLY correct action to this matter! You know what the ranger's handbook says to do with rogue bears?! :'''Ranger Smith''': ''[sweats nervously]'' Y-Yes, sir. :'''Chief''': Then do it. NOW!!! :''[Smith hangs up, gets up from his seat, and sternly looks at Yogi, who smiles at Smith.]'' :'''Ranger Smith''': ''[remorseful]'' I'm sorry, Yogi, but I have to do my duty. :''[Smith grabs a shotgun and heads for the door, but Yogi stands in his way, attempting to push him back.]'' :'''Yogi''': You can't do it, sir! Not to Boob! :'''Ranger Smith''': Out of my way, Yogi. :'''Yogi''': Think of the past! You remember when Boo Boo was born?! :'''Ranger Smith''': Of course, I do, Yogi. :'''Yogi''': Who delivered him? :'''Ranger Smith''': Uh, I did. :'''Yogi''': How much hair did he have? :'''Ranger Smith''': ''[gulps]'' None. :'''Yogi''': And what about his eyes? :'''Ranger Smith''': ''[voice breaking]'' They were pink... and swollen. I know your game, Yogi. :'''Yogi''': How cute was he? :'''Ranger Smith''': ''[starts crying]'' Really cute, Yogi. :'''Yogi''': And how 'bout the time you were sick with the group? Who nursed you back to health? :'''Ranger Smith''': Boo Boo did. :'''Yogi''': Remember when I stole your birthday cake? Who chewed up pinecones and wrapped them in moth wings just for you? :'''Ranger Smith''': ''[unable to hold back tears]'' Boo Boo did! Why wasn't it you, Yogi?! Why didn’t you go wild?! It'd be easy then! :''[Yogi and Smith stop against the door. They hear slurping and growling. They look down. Boo Boo's tongue slides in from under the door.]'' :'''Smith''': ''[gasps]'' It's Boo Boo! ''[aims his shotgun down at the tongue]'' I'm sorry, Yogi. :'''Yogi''': ''[grabs the shotgun]'' I can't let you do it, sir! :''[Yogi attempts to pull the gun away from Boo Boo. A struggle ensues between Yogi and Smith.]'' :'''Ranger Smith''': ''[groans]'' Let go, Yogi! :''[The struggle continues for a while.]'' :'''Ranger Smith''': '''''YOU THINK I WANT THIS ANY MORE THAN YOU?!''''' I HATE this thing!!! I'm a RANGER, Yogi! First and foremost! CAN YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?! This isn't just for Boo Boo's sake! What about all the other bears?! What of them?! What if they follow Boo Boo's example?! Are we gonna let the forest go to ruin for the sake of one little bear we both love?! Tell me to let the bears down! :''[Yogi ponders about this.]'' :'''Ranger Smith''': Oh, your own kind, Yogi! ''[wheezes]'' Step aside, Yogi Bear. Let's be done with it. :''[Yogi hangs his head and walks away from Smith, about to shoot Boo Boo. Smith's finger trembles against the trigger of the gun. Yogi, not wanting his friend to get killed, starts to panic. He looks around, then gets an idea. He reaches for a lamp and strikes it over Smith's head, causing him to drop the gun. Smith clutches his head and yells in pain. Yogi throws Smith to the floor and the two start fighting.] :'''Yogi''': No hard feelings sir, but this is for Boo Boo! ''[raises his fist]'' :'''Ranger Smith''': Yogi, no! :''[Yogi punches Smith in the face. The two rapidly throw punches at each other. Boo Boo opens the door, sees the two fighting, and gasps in horror.]'' :'''Boo-Boo''': Mr. Ranger! Yogi! Fighting! :''[Boo-Boo runs up to the fight, and attempts to break it up, but gets punched across the air, and hits the wall. Yogi and Smith stop fighting once they realize what's happened.]'' :'''Yogi and Smith''': Boo Boo! :''[Yogi and Smith run up to Boo-Boo. Yogi tries to shake Boo-Boo awake. Smith splashes Boo-Boo with water. Soon, Boo-Boo awakes, back to his normal self.] :'''Boo-Boo''': Has anyone seen my bow tie? :'''Yogi and Smith''': Boo Boo's back! :''[Yogi and Smith hug, when all of a sudden, Boo-Boo rips a piece off of Smith's pants. He bashfully hides the piece behind his back as Smith reprimandingly pokes his nose.]'' :'''Boo-Boo''': Gosh. I must have reverted. ==Characters== * {{w|John Kricfalusi}} as Boo-Boo Bear, Tree * {{w|Stephen Worth}} as Yogi Bear * {{w|Corey Burton}} as Ranger John Smith, Moose * {{w|Lucy Liu}} as Cindy Bear * {{w|Michael Pataki}} as The Chief ==External links== {{wikipedia}} {{Yogi Bear}} [[Category:1999 animated films]] [[Category:American adult animated short films]] [[Category:Traditionally animated short films]] [[Category:Animated TV specials]] [[Category:Animated satirical films‎]] [[Category:Films based on animated television series]] tnpgyk49qpkkrtgv3ysnw0vow9iwde6 14 212025 3942111 3682267 2026-05-17T17:48:34Z Ficaia 3085955 added [[Category:People from Hampshire]] using [[Help:Gadget-HotCat|HotCat]] 3942111 wikitext text/x-wiki [[Category:People by city in England|Portsmouth]] [[Category:People from Hampshire]] bwbh9519wn1jz62wijg6kolyhdydo23 0 212657 3942155 3923440 2026-05-17T20:25:13Z ~2026-20999-95 3307971 3942155 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''{{w|The Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Movie}}''''' (original working title: The Great American Chase) is a 1979 Looney Tunes film with a compilation of classic Warner Bros. Cartoons shorts and newly animated bridging sequences, hosted by Bugs Bunny. The bridging sequences, which had been produced in 1978, show Bugs at his home, which is cantilevered over a carrot-juice waterfall (modeled on Frank Lloyd Wright's "Fallingwater" house in Bear Run, Pennsylvania). == Bugs Bunny == *Oh. How do you do? Nice of you to drop by me humble abode! My name is Bunny, Bugs Bunny, Esquire, to be exact! Eh. One of the Back-Bay Bunnies! Back-Bay of Brooklyn that is! *Now, one of the problems I always had with Aminators-- Animators--is that they can't ever seem to tell the differences between a rabbit and a mole. Very humiliating having to burrow your way wherever you want to go, and somehow, I always forgot to take that left turn at Albuquerque. *Eat your heart out, Burt Reynolds! *Of course you realize this means war. *Of course you know this means war! == Daffy Duck == *''[to Bugs Bunny]'' You're despicable! ==Dialogue== :'''Bugs Bunny''': So you see, that's how chases began, and that's how I came into the picture, just a mild mannered forest creature, shy, easily frightened. A quiet-living rabbit am I. And yet... I guess in a way I *am* an unusual rabbit on account of, uh... instead of having hundreds of children, like your ordinary run-of-the-mill rabbit, I had several fathers, fathers with odd names, like Tex Avery... uh, Friz Freleng... Chuck Jones... and Bob McKimson, the ones who directed most of me pictures. Fathers like Tedd Pierce... Warren Foster... and Mike Maltese, who wrote most of me bee-ography. And of course a father named Mel Blanc, who had thousands of voices and was nice enough to give me one of them. This show you're gonna see now is about what just one of those fathers did with me and me cartoon associates, an animation director who goes by the unlikely name of Chuck Jones. And old Chuck seemed determined to get poor little old me into outer space, too. <hr width=50%> :[[Operation: Rabbit]] :'''Bugs Bunny''': Eh. What's up, doc? :'''Wile E. Coyote''': Allow me to introduce myself. My name is "Wile E. Coyote"... Genius. I am not selling anything nor am I working my way through college, so let's get down to cases. You are a rabbit, and I am going to eat you for supper. Now, don't try to get away. I am more muscular, more cunning, faster, and larger than you are... and I'm a genius, while you could hardly pass the entrance examinations to kindergarten. So, I'll give you the customary two minutes to say your prayers. :'''Bugs Bunny''': I'm sorry, mac, but the lady of the house ain't home and besides we mailed you people a check last week! [Slam] :'''Wile E. Coyote''': Why do they always want to do it the hard way? <hr width=50%> [[What's Opera, Doc?]] :'''Elmer Fudd''': ''[sticking his spear in a rabbit hole; singing]'' Kill the Wabbit! Kill the Wabbit! Kill the Wabbit! :'''Bugs Bunny''':''[peeps out from another hole]'' Kill the Wabbit? :'''Elmer Fudd''': Yo-ho-to-ho! Yo-ho-to-ho! Yo-ho... :''[Bugs and Elmer sing]'' :'''Bugs Bunny''': Oh, mighty warrior of great fighting stock! Might I inquire to ask-Eh, [eats a carrot] ... what's up, Doc? :'''Elmer Fudd''': I am going to kill the Wabbit! :'''Bugs Bunny''': Oh, mighty hunter, twil be quite a task. How will you do it? Might I inquire to ask? :'''Elmer Fudd''': I will do it with my spear and magic helmet! :'''Bugs Bunny''': Your spear and magic helmet? :'''Elmer Fudd''': Spear and magic helmet! :'''Bugs Bunny''': Magic helmet? :'''Elmer Fudd''': Magic helmet! :'''Bugs Bunny''': Magic helmet. <hr width=50%> :''[Bugs and Daffy are trying to convince Elmer to shoot the other and make a meal out of him]'' :'''Elmer Fudd''': I'm sorry fellas, but I'm a vegetarian. I just hunt for the sport of it. Ha ha ha ha ha. :'''Bugs Bunny''': Oh yeah! Well there's other sports besides hunting, you know! :'''Daffy Duck''': ''[Daffy appears in a tennis outfit]'' Anyone for tennis? ''[Elmer shoots Daffy]'' Nice game. <hr width=50%> :'''Dr I.Q. Hi''': Can you do it, Dodgers? :'''Daffy Duck''': Oh, indubitabooblyoobly sir. Because there's nobody knows his way round outer space like Duck Dodgers in the 24th and a half century! <hr width=50%> :'''Road Runner''': Meep, meep! <hr width=50%> :''[Wile E. Coyote is filling a row of fake carrots with nitroglycerin while inside an explosives shack within a construction site. Bugs, using a tractor, pulls the shack to a nearby railroad track and deposits it in the middle of the tracks]'' :'''Wile E. Coyote''': Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius. :''[Wile E. hears a train whistle blow, but he ignores it]'' :'''Wile E. Coyote''': I like the way that rolls out! Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius! :''[Wile E. again hears the train whistle and then sees the train coming right towards him. He pulls the blinds over the shack's window down. The train hits Wile E. in the shack causing a huge explosion from the nitroglycerin. As the train chugs off undamaged, Wile E. is all burnt and crispy, while hanging onto a branch from a cliff]'' :'''Wile E. Coyote''': ''[slurring]'' Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius. <hr width=50%> :'''Wile E. Coyote''': ''[slurring]'' Allow me to introduce myself. My name is mud. ''[he faints]'' :'''Bugs Bunny''': And remember, "mud" spelled backwards is "dum". == Cartoons == *[[Rabbit Seasoning]] (a clip) *[[Hare-Way to the Stars]] *[[Duck Dodgers in the 24½th Century]] *[[Robin Hood Daffy]] *[[Duck Amuck]] *[[Bully for Bugs]] *[[Ali Baba Bunny]] *[[Rabbit Fire]] *[[For Scent-imental Reasons]] *[[Long-Haired Hare]] *[[What's Opera, Doc?]] *[[Operation: Rabbit]] ==External links== {{wikipedia}} * {{IMDb title|0078915}} {{Looney Tunes}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Movie, The}} [[Category:1979 animated films]] [[Category:1970s American animated films]] [[Category:Traditionally animated films]] [[Category:American children's animated comedy films]] [[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]] [[Category:Looney Tunes films]] [[Category:Package films]] [[Category:Films directed by Chuck Jones]] 75aomytiulg8sp4zxwimq4f9d1cpo5q 3942188 3942155 2026-05-17T21:27:44Z Hhrlan23 3222540 /* */ 3942188 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''{{w|The Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Movie}}''''' (original working title: The Great American Chase) is a 1979 Looney Tunes film with a compilation of classic Warner Bros. Cartoons shorts and newly animated bridging sequences, hosted by [[w:Bugs Bunny|Bugs Bunny]]. The bridging sequences, which had been produced in 1978, show Bugs at his home, which is cantilevered over a carrot-juice waterfall (modeled on Frank Lloyd Wright's "Fallingwater" house in Bear Run, Pennsylvania). == Bugs Bunny == *Oh. How do you do? Nice of you to drop by me humble abode! My name is Bunny, Bugs Bunny, Esquire, to be exact! Eh. One of the Back-Bay Bunnies! Back-Bay of Brooklyn that is! *Now, one of the problems I always had with Aminators-- Animators--is that they can't ever seem to tell the differences between a rabbit and a mole. Very humiliating having to burrow your way wherever you want to go, and somehow, I always forgot to take that left turn at Albuquerque. *Eat your heart out, Burt Reynolds! *Of course you realize this means war. *Of course you know this means war! == Daffy Duck == *''[to Bugs Bunny]'' You're despicable! ==Dialogue== :'''Bugs Bunny''': So you see, that's how chases began, and that's how I came into the picture, just a mild mannered forest creature, shy, easily frightened. A quiet-living rabbit am I. And yet... I guess in a way I *am* an unusual rabbit on account of, uh... instead of having hundreds of children, like your ordinary run-of-the-mill rabbit, I had several fathers, fathers with odd names, like Tex Avery... uh, Friz Freleng... Chuck Jones... and Bob McKimson, the ones who directed most of me pictures. Fathers like Tedd Pierce... Warren Foster... and Mike Maltese, who wrote most of me bee-ography. And of course a father named Mel Blanc, who had thousands of voices and was nice enough to give me one of them. This show you're gonna see now is about what just one of those fathers did with me and me cartoon associates, an animation director who goes by the unlikely name of Chuck Jones. And old Chuck seemed determined to get poor little old me into outer space, too. <hr width=50%> :[[Operation: Rabbit]] :'''Bugs Bunny''': Eh. What's up, doc? :'''Wile E. Coyote''': Allow me to introduce myself. My name is "Wile E. Coyote"... Genius. I am not selling anything nor am I working my way through college, so let's get down to cases. You are a rabbit, and I am going to eat you for supper. Now, don't try to get away. I am more muscular, more cunning, faster, and larger than you are... and I'm a genius, while you could hardly pass the entrance examinations to kindergarten. So, I'll give you the customary two minutes to say your prayers. :'''Bugs Bunny''': I'm sorry, mac, but the lady of the house ain't home and besides we mailed you people a check last week! [Slam] :'''Wile E. Coyote''': Why do they always want to do it the hard way? <hr width=50%> [[What's Opera, Doc?]] :'''Elmer Fudd''': ''[sticking his spear in a rabbit hole; singing]'' Kill the Wabbit! Kill the Wabbit! Kill the Wabbit! :'''Bugs Bunny''':''[peeps out from another hole]'' Kill the Wabbit? :'''Elmer Fudd''': Yo-ho-to-ho! Yo-ho-to-ho! Yo-ho... :''[Bugs and Elmer sing]'' :'''Bugs Bunny''': Oh, mighty warrior of great fighting stock! Might I inquire to ask-Eh, [eats a carrot] ... what's up, Doc? :'''Elmer Fudd''': I am going to kill the Wabbit! :'''Bugs Bunny''': Oh, mighty hunter, twil be quite a task. How will you do it? Might I inquire to ask? :'''Elmer Fudd''': I will do it with my spear and magic helmet! :'''Bugs Bunny''': Your spear and magic helmet? :'''Elmer Fudd''': Spear and magic helmet! :'''Bugs Bunny''': Magic helmet? :'''Elmer Fudd''': Magic helmet! :'''Bugs Bunny''': Magic helmet. <hr width=50%> :''[Bugs and Daffy are trying to convince Elmer to shoot the other and make a meal out of him]'' :'''Elmer Fudd''': I'm sorry fellas, but I'm a vegetarian. I just hunt for the sport of it. Ha ha ha ha ha. :'''Bugs Bunny''': Oh yeah! Well there's other sports besides hunting, you know! :'''Daffy Duck''': ''[Daffy appears in a tennis outfit]'' Anyone for tennis? ''[Elmer shoots Daffy]'' Nice game. <hr width=50%> :'''Dr I.Q. Hi''': Can you do it, Dodgers? :'''Daffy Duck''': Oh, indubitabooblyoobly sir. Because there's nobody knows his way round outer space like Duck Dodgers in the 24th and a half century! <hr width=50%> :'''Road Runner''': Meep, meep! <hr width=50%> :''[Wile E. Coyote is filling a row of fake carrots with nitroglycerin while inside an explosives shack within a construction site. Bugs, using a tractor, pulls the shack to a nearby railroad track and deposits it in the middle of the tracks]'' :'''Wile E. Coyote''': Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius. :''[Wile E. hears a train whistle blow, but he ignores it]'' :'''Wile E. Coyote''': I like the way that rolls out! Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius! :''[Wile E. again hears the train whistle and then sees the train coming right towards him. He pulls the blinds over the shack's window down. The train hits Wile E. in the shack causing a huge explosion from the nitroglycerin. As the train chugs off undamaged, Wile E. is all burnt and crispy, while hanging onto a branch from a cliff]'' :'''Wile E. Coyote''': ''[slurring]'' Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius. <hr width=50%> :'''Wile E. Coyote''': ''[slurring]'' Allow me to introduce myself. My name is mud. ''[he faints]'' :'''Bugs Bunny''': And remember, "mud" spelled backwards is "dum". == Cartoons == *[[Rabbit Seasoning]] (a clip) *[[Hare-Way to the Stars]] *[[Duck Dodgers in the 24½th Century]] *[[Robin Hood Daffy]] *[[Duck Amuck]] *[[Bully for Bugs]] *[[Ali Baba Bunny]] *[[Rabbit Fire]] *[[For Scent-imental Reasons]] *[[Long-Haired Hare]] *[[What's Opera, Doc?]] *[[Operation: Rabbit]] ==External links== {{wikipedia}} * {{IMDb title|0078915}} {{Looney Tunes}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Movie, The}} [[Category:1979 animated films]] [[Category:1970s American animated films]] [[Category:Traditionally animated films]] [[Category:American children's animated comedy films]] [[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]] [[Category:Looney Tunes films]] [[Category:Package films]] [[Category:Films directed by Chuck Jones]] iop1ynvmhs3fefrbyi7c2pmsqwdl98a 0 214002 3942141 3939606 2026-05-17T19:06:11Z ~2026-20502-24 3307513 3942141 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Animated TV shows== * '''You're coming with me, punk!''' **Who: Ron the Rent-a-Cop **Source: ''[[6teen]]'' (2004-2010) *'''Oh yeah!''' **Who: Shermy **Source: ''[[Adventure Time]]'' (2010-2018) *'''Being Choose Goose is no lark... especially now that I'm turning dark.''' **Who: Choose Goose **Source: ''[[Adventure Time: Distant Lands]]'' (2020-2021) *'''That's right, be afraid! Be very afraid! And tell all your cold-blooded friends there's plenty more where that came from!''' **Who: Baby Eddie **Source: ''[[The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius]]'' (2002-2006) *Oh no. It's started. [screaming] **Who: Rob **Source: ''[[The Amazing World of Gumball]]'' (2011-2019) *Trust me. There's something magical about you too. **Who: Jake Long **Source: ''[[American Dragon: Jake Long]]'' (2005-2007) **Notes: The closing credits to this episode views clips from the show's previous episodes. * I am... I... I think as we are very tired, we should go down to the pond for a drink. Then we'll go back to our nests and burrows and sleep. We can explore our big new park tomorrow. And then we will plan how to live together in perfect peace and harmony. In the true spirits of Farthing Wood. **Who: Plucky **Source: ''[[The Animals of Farthing Wood (TV series)|The Animals of Farthing Wood]]'' (1993-1995) *Mechana can we do it? *We Animal Mechanical can! **Who: Animal Mechanicals **Source: ''[[Animal Mechanicals]]'' (2007-2011) **Note: End of every episode catchphrase. *I am the dirt under your nails, cupcake. Nothing's gonna clean me out. **Who: Violet "Vi" **Source: ''[[Arcane]]'' (2021-2024) *"Chapter one: how I got my very first pair of glasses…" **Who: Adult Arthur **Source: ''[[Arthur (TV series)|Arthur]]'' (1996-2022) *Well, I think you all look ''perfect''. **Who: Toph Beifong ** Source: ''[[Avatar: The Last Airbender]]'' (2005-2008) *You wanted to know how history will remember the Avengers, Iron Man? Well, here's your answer. **Who: Captain America **Source: ''[[The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes]]'' (2010-2013) *Where shall I begin? **Who: [[w:Babar the Elephant|King Babar]] **Source: ''[[Babar (TV series)|Babar]]'' (1989–2000) *Fine, but don't blame me if dinner is late! I'd like to see you cook a meal in your arms where your legs should be! Maybe I'll go on the Goraldo Show, he'll believe me about the aliens! I can't find my tush! **Who: Nora Beady **Source: ''[[Back at the Barnyard]]'' (2007-2011) *Mini-muffin? **Who: Tasha and Austin **Source: ''[[The Backyardigans]]'' (2004-2010) *We got the coolest clubhouse. *We? *Yeah, Junior Justice League. Team division. *Nice try. **Who: Robin, Batgirl and Batman **Source: ''[[The Batman]]'' (2004-2008) *A great run. And until we meet again boys and girls, know that wherever evil lurks in all its myriad forms, I'll be there with the hammers of justice to fight for decency, and defend the innocent. Goodnight. **Who: Batman **Source: ''[[Batman: The Brave and the Bold]]'' (2008-2011) *I love you too, son. This message will self-destruct in 3...2...1... **Who: [[w:Fred Jones (Scooby-Doo)|Fred Jones]] (reading a letter from his father) **Source: ''[[Be Cool, Scooby-Doo!]]'' (2015-2018) *P2, going down. **Who: Elevator Announcer **Source: ''[[Beavis and Butt-head]]'' (1993-97; 2011) *The End! **Who: Beetlejuice **Source: ''[[Beetlejuice (TV series)|Beetlejuice]]'' (1989–1991) *Bravo, Batman. Checkmate. Shall we play again? **Who: Anarky **Source: ''[[Beware the Batman]]'' (2013-2014) *Bacon Berry? Guys, guys! You gotta check this out! **Who: Lettie **Source: ''[[Big Blue]]'' (2021-2022) *Ba-a-la-la-la-la. **Who: Baymax **Source: ''[[Big Hero 6: The Series]]'' (2017-2021) *Welcome to Taco Shack. May I take your order? **Who: Taco Shack Employee **Source: ''[[Billy Dilley's Super-Duper Subterranean Summer]]'' (2017) **Note: Cancelled after one season due to poor ratings. *Riley, run! **Who: Huey Freeman **Source: ''[[The Boondocks]]'' (2005-2014) *Yeah. This is nice. **Who: BoJack Horseman **Source: ''[[BoJack Horseman]]'' (2014-2020) *Never mind, I can't wait. **Who: Brandy Harrington **Source: ''[[Brandy & Mr. Whiskers]]'' (2004-2006) *Yup, yup! Let us swim to freedom! **Who: Buhdeuce **Source: ''[[Breadwinners]]'' (2014-2016) *I'm stuck in a tree! **Who: Bunsen **Source: ''[[Bunsen Is a Beast]]'' (2017-2018) **Note: Series cancelled after one season due to declining ratings and Butch Hartman leaving Nickelodeon. *Everybody who loves Tea Party Land, say "I"! I! Okay, who's up for a crumpet? **Who: Pupert Pesky **Source: ''[[The Buzz on Maggie]]'' (2005-2006) *Sometimes change is good. Having a new teacher turned out to be a lot of fun. **Who: Narrator **Source: ''[[Caillou]]'' (1997-2010) *Please tell me we go home alone with her? **Who: McGee **Source: ''[[Camp Lakebottom]]'' (2013-2017) *Okay. I think it's just officially got to the point where it can't get any weirder. **Who: Samson *(in-credits:) Uh, yeah... okay. **Who: Stanley **Source: ''[[Camp Lazlo]]'' (2005-2008) *That's the magic of meat! **Who: Johnny Meatseed **Source: ''[[CatDog]]'' (1998-2005) *''[laughing]'' Yeah. **Who: Sally **Source: ''The Cat In The Hat Knows A Lot About That!'' (2010-2018) *Hey hoo cha, birdie bird wa, stinky dinky dinky dinky doo, yeah!!! **Who: Mr. Blik, Gordon and Waffle **Source: ''[[Catscratch]]'' (2005-2007) *Hello, anybody, hello? **Who: Snap **Source: ''[[ChalkZone]]'' (2002-2008) *Stop it, Zouzou. You're suppose to be a watch dog, not a kiss dog! ''[laughs]'' **Who: Charley **Source: ''[[Charley and Mimmo]]'' (1999–2002) *I have saved a fucking gorilla today, I also talked a very special idiot out of willing himself dead, and now, just because I'm too hairy in some places and too bald in other places, you can't find it in your putrid little heart to want to get to know me sexually? [Laughs sarcastically] What's wrong with me? What is wrong with you? I am magical! **Who: Frank **Source: ''[[China, IL]]'' (2011-2015) *Babies, no! Put Scraps down! **Who: Adult Chowder *(post-credits:) Oh, radda. **Who: Shnitzel **Source: ''[[Chowder (TV series)|Chowder]]'' (2007-2010) *Yes! **Who: Clarence Wendle **Source: ''[[Clarence (American TV series)|Clarence]]'' (2014-2018) *Enjoy the moment, Jay. For the future is no longer foretold. **Who: Cronus **Source: ''[[Class of the Titans]]'' (2005-2008) *What?! This is your fault! **Who: Lil' D **Source: ''[[Class of 3000]]'' (2006-2008) *We are dumb. **Who: Donna Tubbs-Brown **Source: ''[[The Cleveland Show]]'' (2009–2013) **Note: Ended after four seasons due to declining ratings and due to Cleveland and his new family moving back to Quahog near the end of Season 12 of Family Guy. *Already with the excuses. **Who: Bridgette **Source: ''[[Close Enough]]'' (2020-2022) *Hello? Yeah. We told him everything he wanted to hear. We'll meet you in the moonbase, okay? Oh! And Numbuh 1... Welcome back. **Who: Adult Abigail Lincoln (Numbuh 5) *(post-credits:) Stay young. **Who: None **Source: ''[[Codename: Kids Next Door]]'' (2002-2008) **Notes: The final credits roll with a short montage of every episode from beginning to finish, ending with a picture of Sector V looking at the sunset outside the treehouse with the actual final lines read above them, "Stay Young". *What more could a bear ask for? **Who: [[w:Corduroy (book)|Corduroy]] **Source: ''[[Corduroy (TV series)|Corduroy]]'' (2000-2001) *Perfect! **Who: The Perfectionist (offscreen) **Source: ''[[Courage the Cowardly Dog]]'' (1999–2002) *I'll see you tomorrow. **Who: Craig Williams **Source: ''[[Craig of the Creek]]'' (2018-2025) *That's right, Cubix. We're friends. Friends forever. **Who: Connor **Source: ''[[Cubix: Robots for Everyone]]'' (2001-2003) *Thanks, Dan. **Who: Little Chris **Source: ''[[Dan Vs.]]'' (2011-2013) *Cool statue. Personally, I would've used recycled materials, but, you know, that's just me. **Who: Sam Manson **Source: ''[[Danny Phantom]]'' (2004-2007) *I take it back. **Who: Jane **Source: ''[[Daria]]'' (1997-2002) *Come on, Eep. The moon's looking at me funny again. We need to go smash his face! **Who: Grug Crood **Source: ''[[Dawn of the Croods]]'' (2015-2017) *I'm saying there's hope for Harleen yet. **Who: Barbara "Babs" Gordon/Batgirl **Source: ''[[DC Super Hero Girls (TV series)|DC Super Hero Girls]]'' (2019–2021) *I can do anything with my best friends on my side. **Who: Dottie "Doc" McStuffins **Source: ''[[Doc McStuffins]]'' (2012-2020) *Oh yeah. Hehehe. Anybody wanna dance? **Who: Donkey Kong **Source: ''[[Donkey Kong Country]]'' (1998-2000) *It's a perfect name! **Who: Enrique **Source: ''[[Dragon Tales]]'' (1999–2005) *Hey, assholes, thanks for watching! **Who: [[w:List of Drawn Together characters#Toot Braunstein|Toot Braunstein]] **Source: ''[[Drawn Together]]'' (2004-2007) *First one inside gets to give him mouth to mouth! **Who: Lee *(post-credits:) It's the end of the movie? What movie? **Who: Jonny **Source: ''[[Ed Edd n Eddy]]'' (1999–2009) *Familia forever! **Who: El Tigre **Source: ''[[El Tigre: The Adventures of Manny Rivera]]'' (2007-2008) *I am. **Who: Elena **Source: ''[[Elena of Avalor]]'' (2016-2020) *Remember, friends help friends solve problems. See you next time! **Who: [[w:Elliot Moose|Elliot Moose]] **Source: ''[[Elliot Moose (TV series)|Elliot Moose]]'' (1998-2000) *Hmm. Maybe being emperor won't be so bad after all. **Who: Kuzco *(post-credits:) KUZCO!! **Who: Yzma **Source: ''[[The Emperor's New School]]'' (2006-2008) *What? **Who: Gull *Awww! **Who: The Crowd **Source: ''[[:Endangered Species (TV series)|Endangered Species]]'' *Guys, I just decoded a video record of last night's crazy mad cap adventures, and hijinx and things of this nature! Check it! **Who: Dollarnator **Source: ''[[:Fanboy & Chum Chum]]'' *Happy Friendaversary! **Who: [[w:Timmy Tiberius Turner|Timmy Turner]] and Chloe Carmichael **Source: ''[[The Fairly OddParents|The Fairly OddParents!]]'' (2001-2017) **Note: Ended after ten seasons due to Butch Hartman leaving Nickelodeon and due to declining ratings. *Oh. **Who: Ruff Ruffman *I love you guys! **Who: Emmie Atwood **Source: ''[[Fetch! with Ruff Ruffman]]'' (2006-2010) *I'm king of the world! King of the world! **Who: Milo Fishtooth **Source: ''[[Fish Hooks]]'' (2010-2014) *Okay, bye doggies! **Who: Cheese **Source: ''[[Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends]]'' (2004-2009) *Come on, Franklin. **Who: Beaver **Source: ''[[Franklin (TV series)|Franklin]]'' (1997-2004) *You're an evil man! **Who: Norm Abram **Source: ''[[Freakazoid!]]'' (1995-1997) *What a great day! **Who: Kiki **Source: ''[[Fresh Beat Band of Spies]]'' (2014-2016) *Welcome home, Goliath. Welcome home. **Who: Elisa Maza **Source: ''[[Gargoyles (TV series)|Gargoyles]]'' (1994–1996) *One thousand years ago, we lived in a world that understood our purpose. It was the age of Gargoyles. Ten centuries later, we awoke to a world bent on our destruction. Somehow, we never lost hope, and today we come full circle. A new age has begun, and we live again. **Who: Goliath **Source: ''[[Gargoyles (TV series)#Season 3 (The Goliath Chronicles) -- (Non-Cannon)|Gargoyles: The Goliath Chronicles]]'' (1996–1997) *Yes, there is. **Who: Agent Six **Source: ''[[Generator Rex]]'' (2010-2013) *Knowing Razer, I'd say he's got a pretty good shot. **Who: Hal Jordan **Source: ''[[Green Lantern: The Animated Series]]'' (2011-2013) *Thanks for coming out, everyone! **Who: Cory Riffin, Kin Kujira, Kon Kujira, and Laney Penn **Source: ''[[Grojband]]'' (2013-2015) *'''It's not the attic, you buffoon! Look, this goes against all of my programming, but there's something you need to know. There's one list item Hailey's never told you about.''' **Who: Beta **Source: ''[[Hailey's On It!]]'' (2023-2024) **Note: Cancelled after one season and ended on a cliffhanger despite critical acclaim. *'''Nah, let them have this.''' **Who: Male Alien **Source: ''[[Hamster & Gretel]]'' (2022-2025) *'''Yeah. You found each other. When a friend comes into your life, it changes you a little. They challenge you. They make you laugh. They make you stronger. Each person gives you a gift. A special part of them that you keep forever. It's like they're always with you.''' **Who: Irving Beaks **Source: ''[[Harvey Beaks]]'' (2015-2017) *He's never gonna hear the end of it, isn't he? **Who: Rhonda Lloyd **Source: ''[[Hey Arnold!]]'' (1996-2004) *'''Sorry, I didn't mean-- I'd take it back! Mmm, charred marshmallow flesh. Whoa! N-n-no! I didn't say that. No, it wasn't me. That wasn't someone, who else? Get off this ship, you're not welcome.''' **Who: Nerville **Source: ''[[The High Fructose Adventures of Annoying Orange]]'' (2012-2014) *Oh, she's the most beautiful creature I've ever seen. This is the life...or more less. **Who: Kaz Harada **Source: ''[[Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi]]'' (2004-2006) *That's a wrap! **Who: Father Time **Source: ''[[Histeria!]]'' (1998-2000) *I feels very at home. **Who: Oh **Source: ''[[Home: Adventures with Tip & Oh]]'' (2016-2018) *I could go for tapas… **Who: Brendan **Source: ''[[Home Movies (TV series)|Home Movies]]'' (1999–2004) *Oh, Mickey! **Who: Minnie Mouse **Source: ''[[w:House of Mouse|House of Mouse]]'' (2001-2003) *I love you too, Bertie! **Who: Arlo Beauregard **Source: ''I Heart Arlo'' (2021) *Get out of the house of Zim! This is my house, get out! Get- **Who: Zim **Source: ''[[Invader Zim]]'' (2001-2006) *Why not?! You weren't using it! You're always too busy fighting wizards! **Who: Drago **Source: ''[[Jackie Chan Adventures]]'' (2000-2005) *That was brilliant! Thank ye, mates! See you next time! **Who: John Darling **Source: ''[[Jake and the Never Land Pirates]]'' (2011-2016) *Yes! **Who: Fred Fredburger **Source: ''[[Jellystone!]]'' (2021-2025) *[cries] I don't have a tin cup to rattle at the bars! [yelling angrily] '''TWO-SHOOOOOEEEEES!!!''' **Who: Lucius [Offscreen] **Source: ''[[Jimmy Two-Shoes]]'' (2009–2012) *You're wrong Mr. Teacherman, this is Porkbelly. Where we make our own history. **Who: [[w:List_of_Johnny_Test_characters#Johnny Test|Johnny Test]] **Source: ''[[Johnny Test]]'' (2005-2014) *You bet, pal! **Who: Kick Buttowski **Source: ''[[Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil]]'' (2010-2012) **Note: Cancelled after two seasons due to poor ratings. *I told you graduation wasn't the end of the world. **Who: Kim Possible *(post-credits) Glad you asked! Funny story - not funny "ha-ha". But, it was a Tuesday... **Who: Dr. Drakken **Source: ''[[Kim Possible]]'' (2002-2007) *'''Are you ready, dino buddy? Once upon a time, there was a brave knight...''' **Who: Tej **Source: ''[[Kindergarten: The Musical|Kindergarten: The Musical!]]'' (2024-2025) **Note: Cancelled after one season. *Yup! **Who: Hank Hill (original run) **Source: ''[[King of the Hill]]'' (1997-2010) **Note: Revival announced for 2025. *Duck! **Who: Arnold **Source: ''[[Kipper (TV series)|Kipper]]'' (1997-2000) *Hey everybody, Let's hear it for the Dragon Warrior! Huzzah, huzzah... **Who: Lu Kang and the citizens **Source: ''[[Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness]]'' (2011-2016) *There you go! **Who: Littlefoot **Source: ''[[The Land Before Time (TV series)|The Land Before Time]]'' (2007-2008) *Sounds perfect. **Who: Korra **Source: ''[[The Legend of Korra]]'' (2012-2014) *Now is a time of celebration. We have won a great victory. But when the glow has faded, we must remember the cost, and we must be forever vigilant. The message of hate that Mordred carried will come again with a different name, a different face. But as long as we keep the ideals of Camelot alive in our hearts, we will prevail. Long live honor, and justice. Long live goodness, and truth. Long live... Camelot! **Who: King Arthur **Source: ''[[The Legend of Prince Valiant]]'' (1991-1993) *Evil does not die. It evolves. **Who: Brainiac 6 **Source: ''[[Legion of Super Heroes]]'' (2006-2008) *Change can happen anytime, Carmen. If you ever wanted to start working harder to bring love and harmony to the world, remember, there's always tomorrow. **Who: Luna the Moon **Source: ''[[Let's Go Luna!]]'' (2018-2022) *You have to catch up with it yourself. **Who: Benjamin Franklin **Source: ''[[Liberty's Kids]]'' (2002-2003) *I love you too, Stitch. **Who: Lilo Pelekai **Source: ''[[Lilo & Stitch: The Series]]'' (2003-2006) *Little Bill, who are you talking to? **Who: Brenda Glover **Source: ''[[Little Bill]]'' (1999–2004) *See you on the next mission! **Who: Leo **Source: ''Little Einsteins'' (2005-2010) **Note: End-of-every episode catchphrase. *I can't believe they canceled our show and put this on instead. **Who: Lulu Moppet **Source: ''[[The Little Lulu Show]]'' (1995-1999) *'''Someday, kiddo. Someday.''' **Who: Roger Baxter **Source: ''[[Littlest Pet Shop (2012 TV series)|Littlest Pet Shop]]'' (2012-2016) **Note: Cancelled due to poor toy sales. Succeeded by the reboot ''A World Of Our Own''. *Go ahead, Eddie. I understand. **Who: Lloyd Nebulon **Source: ''[[w:Lloyd in Space|Lloyd in Space]]'' (2001-2004) *Daffy! Get those legs up! **Who: Granny **Source: ''Baby Looney Tunes'' (2001-2005) **Note: Canceled due to poor ratings and negative reviews. It was succeeded by ''[[The Looney Tunes Show]]'' in 2011. *Ain't I a stinker? **Who: Bugs Bunny as Batman *And that's the end. **Who: [[w:Bugs Bunny|Bugs Bunny]] (Post-credits) **Source: ''[[The Looney Tunes Show]]'' (2011-2014) *I just call "dibs" on his fish flakes. **Who: A fish **Source: ''[[Mad (TV series)|MAD]]'' (2010-2013) *Hooray for Maggie! **Who: Beast, Hamilton Hocks, Rudy, Nedley, and the Jellybean Team **Source: ''[[Maggie and the Ferocious Beast]]'' (2000-2002) *Yut is pleased by attention! **Who: Mister Yut **Source: ''Littlest Pet Shop: A World of Our Own'' (2018-19) **Note: Cancelled after one season. *Leave me alone, or I will call my fiend back! **Who: Vendetta **Source: ''[[Making Fiends (TV series)|Making Fiends]]'' (2008) **Note: Cancelled after one season. *'''I'm the luckiest one here. I have two families! Now about that turkey...''' **Who: Martha **Source: ''[[Martha Speaks (TV series)|Martha Speaks]]'' (2008-2014) *I guess we will, baby. I guess we will. **Who: Bubbie **Source: ''[[The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack]]'' (2008-2010) *So even though things didn't go exactly like they were supposed to, that matinee turned out to be one of our best shows ever. Now that's teamwork. What can I say, Mom and Dad? We're a real class act. **Who: Eddy Largo **Source: ''[[Marvin the Tap-Dancing Horse]]'' (2000-2002) *'''It's a funny thing about making a commitment. Even though sometimes you don't want to follow through. Once you do, you're glad you did.''' **Who: Maya Santos **Source: ''[[Maya & Miguel]]'' (2004-2007) *Now, let's see what kind of new stuff the evil me put in Megas. Woo! Yeah, Wah-hoo! Yeah! Wa, ha, ha! **Who: Harold "Coop" Cooplowski **Source: ''[[Megas XLR]]'' (2004-2005) *I believe that you would, Slick. Now how about a hand? **Who: Agent K **Source: ''[[Men in Black: The Series]]'' (1997-2001) *See ya real soon! **Who: Mickey Mouse **Note: Catchphrase that ends every episode of Season 1. *Aw, thanks for stopping by! **Who: Mickey Mouse **Note: Catchphrase that ends almost every episode of Seasons 2-4. *Aw, thanks for stopping by. Good night, everybody. **Who: Mickey Mouse (original run) **Source: ''[[Mickey Mouse Clubhouse]]'' (2006-2016) **Note: Official last line of the series, because the series got cancelled after four seasons due to poor ratings. It was succeeded by ''Mickey and the Roadster Racers'', and later a revival was announced for 2025. *See you next time! Ha ha ha! **Who: Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, or Funny the Funhouse **Source: ''[[Mickey Mouse|Mickey Mouse Funhouse]]'' (2021-2025) *Oh, Haps! I don't know if you can see from your side, but I just skywrote 'Bessie and Happy BFFAEAE' and it looks really great! **Who: Bessie Higgenbottom **Source: ''[[The Mighty B!]]'' (2008-2011) *Don't worry about it. **Who: Witchy Simone **Source: ''[[Mighty Magiswords]]'' (2016-2019) *'''I think we're gonna need a new ship.''' **Who: Milo Murphy **Source: ''[[Milo Murphy's Law]]'' (2016-2019) **Note: Either on hiatus or cancelled after two seasons due to poor ratings. *Weddings, Priya. They do something to you. **Who: Mira **Source: ''Mira, Royal Detective'' (2020-2022) *Aw, man. There goes my timeslot. **Who: Ned **Source: ''The Misfortune of Being Ned'' (2013-2014) **Note:Only a 1-minute web series but cancelled on Annoying Orange in the YouTube Channel. *'''Y'see? Sometimes one small Mixel is all it takes. Yup, Mixopolis is my town. And always will be.''' **Who: Booger **Source: ''[[Mixels]]'' (2014-2016) *'''You go, Moon Girl!''' **Who: The Beyonder **Source: ''[[Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur]]'' (2023-2025) *'''Beverly!''' **Who: Sheriff **Source: ''[[Momma Named Me Sheriff]]'' (2019-2021) *'''Okay, going for the triple bonus.''' **Who: President Hathaway **Source: ''[[w:Monsters vs. Aliens (TV series)|Monsters vs. Aliens]]'' (2013-2014) *Today's Christmas sermon is about family. What is family? Well, a lot of times, family is just a bunch of people who are forced to be together just because they came out of each other — but every so often...a miracle happens. A loving family, just like that, out of nowhere. Now, what causes this — a belief in God, a strong moral structure, blind luck? Who knows, who cares? Ah, you're not gonna get any answers out of me. I'm just a puppet for the Big Guy. I don't write this stuff. The end — I mean, Amen. Nah, who am I kidding? The End. **Who: Reverend "Rod" Putty **Source: ''[[Moral Orel]]'' (2005-2008) *Oh, freak me out! This is craziness! (US version) *Leave me alone, you ticklish pest! (UK version) **Who: Mr. Bump **Source: ''[[The Mr. Men Show]]'' (2008-2009) *See you later, friends. And thanks for all the laughs. **Who: Kermit **Source: ''[[Muppet Babies (2018 TV series)|Muppet Babies]]'' (2018-2022) *Thanks. **Who: Thunder **Source: ''[[My Friend Rabbit]]'' (2007-2008) *Uh-oh. **Who: Adam Lyon **Source: ''[[My Gym Partner's a Monkey]]'' (2005-2008) *Jenny, did you forget to feed the tiger? **Who: Nora **Source: ''[[My Life as a Teenage Robot]]'' (2003-2009) *Let's bounce! Let's bounce! Oh, yeah! Let's bounce! **Who: Daisy **Source: ''Nature Cat'' (2015-2024) *Monkey King! **Who: Kai-Lan, Hoho, Tolee, and Rintoo **Source: ''Ni Hao, Kai-Lan'' (2007-2011) *Thank you for watching the show! **Who: K.O. **Source: ''[[OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes]]'' (2017-2019) *Good night, Olivia. Time for bed, William! **Who: Mom **Source: ''[[Olivia]]'' (2009–2013) *I have some things to tell you. It's about my backpack. **Who: Ollie Allen **Source: ''[[Ollie's Pack]]'' (2020-2021) *T'dee, t'dee, t'dee, t'dee, t'dee, t'dee! Ted Cruz, folks! **Who: Ted Cruz **Source: ''[[Our Cartoon President]]'' (2018-2020) *Should we tell him we stayed up last night and washed it? *[yawns] Nah. **Who: Peep and Chirp **Source: ''Peep and The Big Wide World'' (2004-2011) *''(translation)'' Phase one is complete, 807612r-B9. Commence Phase two? **Who: The Guardian **Source: ''[[Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero]]'' (2014-2017) *The president cut the strings shorter. Only one foot long! Much safer for everyone. **Who: Peg *Definitely! **Who: Cat **Source: ''Peg + Cat'' (2014-2018) *'''Yes. Yes we do.''' **Who: Phineas Flynn (original run) **Source: ''[[Phineas and Ferb]]'' (2007-2015) **Note: Revival announced for 2025. *Tila! **Who: Suki, Axel, Hazel, and Tibor **Source: ''[[Pikwik Pack]]'' (2020-2021) *Poppets away! **Who: Blooter, Patty, and Bobby **Source: ''[[Poppets Town]]'' (2008-2009) *Not just yet. My person calls. I'll see you in the morning. And I'll be on time, I promise. But I'm not skipping breakfast. Because believe me, breakfast with Dot, it's the most important meal of my day. **Who: Lucky **Source: ''[[Pound Puppies (2010 TV series)|Pound Puppies]]'' (2010-2013) *Make a run of yourselves! I'm running away! **Who: Alfe **Source: ''[[The Problem Solverz]]'' (2011-2013) *Let's go! **Who: Bingo and Rolly **Source: ''[[Puppy Dog Pals]]'' (2017-2023) *Nobody ever listens to me. **Who: Zak **Source: ''[[Rabbids Invasion]]'' (2013-2017) *I love you, Rapunzel. **Who: [[w:Flynn Rider|Eugene Fitzherbert]] **Source: ''[[Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure]]'' (2017-2020) *Attention. As you are no doubt aware, the Principal Office is now under my complete control. You're probably looking forward to one of my erudite speeches about me, Megaframe, the new viral dawn, et cetera et cetera. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to disappoint you. There is no grand scheme here. This is about revenge. Viruses are predatory by design, and it is time for me to follow my function. Prepare yourselves... for the hunt! **Who: Megabyte **Source: ''[[ReBoot]]'' (1994-2001) **Note: Ended after four seasons with no resolution. *Jolly good show. **Who: Pops Maellard **Source: ''[[Regular Show]]'' (2010-2017) *Oh, raggy!!! **Who: Stimpy **Source: ''[[The Ren & Stimpy Show]]'' (1991-1996) *Hello, Fleemco. **Who: Todd and Riley Daring *(post-credits) Thanks for having my back, bro. *Always, sis. Always. **Who: Todd and Riley Daring **Source: ''[[The Replacements (TV series)|The Replacements]]'' (2006-2009) *And we're cancelled. **Who: Dog **Source: ''[[Right Now Kapow]]'' (2016-2017) *Nine hundred bazillion bottles of root beer on the wall... / Nine hundred bazillion bottles of root beer... **Who: Heffer Wolfe **Source: ''[[Rocko's Modern Life]]'' (1993-1996) *No... Ashi... **Who: Jack **Source: ''[[Samurai Jack]]'' (2001-2004; 2017) *Yeah! **Who: Sanjay Patel, Craig Slithers, Megan Sparkles, Hector Flanagan, Ronnie Slithers, and Tuff Fist **Source: ''[[Sanjay and Craig]]'' (2013-2016) *'''I'm happy you're home too, Sofia.''' **Who: Princess Amber **Source: ''[[Sofia the First]]'' (2012-2018) *Don't apologize. I never do. **Who: Norman Osborn **Source: ''[[The Spectacular Spider-Man (TV series)|The Spectacular Spider-Man]]'' (2008-2009) *It has been a long, hard journey. And I think you are finally entitled to some happiness. *Amen to that, lady. Amen to that. **Who: Madame Web and Spider-Man **Source: ''[[Spider-Man (1994 TV series)|Spider-Man]]'' (1994-1998) *Hip-hip hooray! The Super Readers saved the day! **Who: Whyatt Beanstalk **Source: ''[[Super Why!]]'' (2007-2016) **Note: End of every episode catchphrase. *Then let's do this together. **Who: Adora/She-Ra **Source: ''[[She-Ra and the Princesses of Power]]'' (2018-2020) *We'll be sharing from now on! **Who: The Prairie Dogs **Source: ''[[Sheriff Callie's Wild West]]'' (2014-2017) *It was an accident, and accident! **Who: Eric Needles **Source: ''[[Sidekick (TV series)|Sidekick]]'' (2010-2013) *Well, there's always next season. **Who: Dr. Eggman **Source: ''[[Sonic Boom (TV series)]]'' (2014-2017) *Oh, you gotta be kidding me. Okay, team, we gotta go fast! **Who: Sonic **Source: ''[[Sonic Prime]]'' (2022-2024) *Game over butt-nik! **Who: Sonic **Source: ''[[Sonic Underground]]'' (1999) *I may have been small today, but it turned out to be the biggest day of my life. **Who: Oso **Source: ''[[Special Agent Oso]]'' (2009–2012) *It's been said before, but I'll say it again. There's no place like home. **Who: Dennis the Fish **Source: ''[[Stanley (2001 TV series)|Stanley]]'' (2001-2008) *We wait. **Who: Susie **Source: ''[[Summer Camp Island]]'' (2018-2023) **Note: Series unfortunately ended due to the beginning of the COVID-19 Pandemic, succeeded for the third season renewal announcement. *Kimmy? Uh, hello? Kimmy. Umm... Kimmy? **Who: Amber **Source: ''[[Sym-Bionic Titan]]'' (2010-2011) *Umifriend, we couldn't have done it without you. **Who: Milli **Notes: Those are the last spoken words on every episode in Season 1. *I feel a celebration coming on! **Who: Bot **Source: ''[[Team Umizoomi]]'' (2010-2015) **Notes: Those are the last spoken words on every episode (starting with the second season), the actual last line is the final verse of the Umi Shake song: "Mighty, mighty, mighty... MATH POWERS!" *And that's way Floridians... *Should never leave the state! *That's right. *Silly Pete. **Who: Crocodile Grandfather and his two grandchildren **Source: ''[[Teenage Euthanasia]]'' (2021-2023) **Note: Cancelled after two seasons. *Beast Boy to Robin: I'm on my way, over. **Who: Beast Boy **Source: ''[[Teen Titans]]'' (2003-2006) **Note: Cancelled after five seasons. * '''But I still won the race.''' ** Who: Bertie ** The classic series of Thomas & Friends was finally ended. * '''If you don't mind me saying, a Royally Useful Engine.''' ** Who: The Queen ** Source: ''[[Thomas & Friends]]'' (1984-2021) ** The modern series ultimately got cancelled due to poor toy sales; succeeded by its reboot ''All Engines Go''. *The different animals of Third Earth, working together for the first time. You know why? You, Lion-O. You gave them something to believe in. Now, there's still one more stone left. Are we gonna find it or what? **Who: WilyKit **Source: ''[[ThunderCats (2011 TV series)|ThunderCats]]'' (2011-2012) **Note: Cancelled after just one season due to declining ratings. *Eh, one orphan genius is as good as another. **Who: Sister Thornley **Source: ''[[Time Squad]]'' (2001-2003) *Okay, time page. How about some help with my math homework? **Who: Anna **Source: ''[[w:Time Warp Trio|Time Warp Trio]]'' (2005-2006) *It's really good. And Yoko likes (baby beans) burritos. She likes almond cookies too. Can you put an extra one in my lunch box tomorrow and some lettuce for Norman... **Who: Juanita **Source: ''[[Timothy Goes to School]]'' (2000-2002) *Oh, and send an ambulance, Sarge. An art lover just fainted. **Who: Dibble **Source: ''[[Top Cat]]'' (1961-1962) *You know it, Pipster. Let's flamin-go! **Who: Freddy **Source: ''T.O.T.S.'' (2018-2022) * Starring Ruby Trollman! ** Who: The BFFL ** Source: ''Trollz'' (2005-2007) *Hooray for T.U.F.F.! **Who: Dudley Puppy, Kitty Katswell, Keswick, and Chief Herbert Dumbrowski **Source: ''[[T.U.F.F. Puppy]]'' (2010-2015) *You've got an appointment alright! An appointment with '''''DOOM!!!''''' **Who: Cyril Sneer **Source: ''The Raccoons'' (1985-1991) *One more thing, how about a dance? **Who: Tut **Source: ''[[Tutenstein]]'' (2003-2008) *Suck my balls! (Thanks for watching!) **Who: Manbird **Source: ''[[Ugly Americans]]'' (2010-2012) *'''Aw, yeah!''' **Who: Uncle Grandpa, Mr. Gus, Pizza Steve, Giant Realistic Flying Tiger, Belly Bag and Frankenstein **Source: ''[[Uncle Grandpa]]'' (2013-2017) *'''The Scare B&B will always be a place for everyone, no matter how different you are. Whether you're human, monster, ghost or ghoul. Or someone who's blue with pointy teeth, like me.''' **Who: Vampirina "Vee" Hauntley * '''We love you, Vee!''' **Who: Bridget **Source: ''[[Vampirina]]'' (2017-2021) *Really, Roger? **Who: Larry the Cucumber **Source: ''[[VeggieTales]]'' (1993-2015) *Makes no difference. You've bought me enough time. **Who: Coyolxauhqui **Source: ''Victor and Valentino'' (2019–2022) *To Allura! **Who: Takashi 'Shiro' Shirogane, Keith, Lance, Katie "Pidge" Holt, and Hunk **Source: ''[[Voltron: Legendary Defender]]'' (2016-2018) **Notes: The epilogue reveals what happened to the characters of the show after honoring Allura right before the credits start. *'''Nothing ever changes.''' **Who: Sylvia and Peepers *(in-credits:) '''They'll get what's coming to them.''' **Who: Lord Dominator **Source: ''[[Wander Over Yonder]]'' (2013-2016) **Note: Cancelled after two seasons and ended on an in-credits cliffhanger despite a third season planned. *'''Oh, Todd.''' **Who: Maurecia **Source: ''[[Wayside (TV series)|Wayside]]'' (2007-2008) *'''Monsta X!''' **Who: [[wikipedia:Monsta X|Monsta X]] **Source: ''[[We Bare Bears]]'' (2015-2019) *'''Later days!''' **Who: Everyone **Source: ''[[The Weekenders]]'' (2000-2004) **Note: Catchphrase that Tino uses to end every episode. *I will never forget you, Eliza Thornberry. **Who: Shane G. **Source: ''[[The Wild Thornberrys]]'' (1998-2004) *'''Oh well, I guess I'll just have to eat it myself. Works every time.''' **Who: Gus **Source: ''[[Willa's Wild Life]]'' (2008-2010) *'''Since we’re coming clean, I always knew you were a monkey.''' **Who: Violet **Source: ''[[WordGirl]]'' (2007-2015) *Schlitweitz! **Who: David and Lisa **Source: ''[[The World of David the Gnome]]'' (1987) *Sure! Let's do it! Hey! Wait for me! And my cool tail! **Who: Wubbzy **Source: ''[[Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!]]'' (2006-2010) *Thanks for playing with us. See you next time! *Bye! *Here we go! Yo Gabba Gabba... **Who: DJ Lance (Lance Robertson) and the Gabba gang (Muno, Foofa, Brobee, Toodee, and Plex) **Source: ''[[Yo Gabba Gabba!]]'' (2007-2015) **Note: End of every episode catchphrase. It was succeeded by the revival ''Yo Gabba Gabbaland!'' in 2024. *Here we go! One, two, three, Yo Gabba Gabba! **Who: Everyone **Source: ''[[Yo Gabba Gabba!#Yo Gabba Gabbaland! 2024 revival series|Yo Gabba GabbaLand!]]'' (2024-present) **Note: End of every episode catchphrase. ===''Hazbin Hotel''=== *Adam is dead. Your deal is done and I'm in charge now. Your brat is threatening the very foundation of Heaven. And if you want to stay here, you're going down there, and stopping that bitch. You understand me...Lilith? **Who: Lute (Season 1) **Source: ''Hazbin Hotel'' (2024-present) ===''Hilda''=== *'''Odds are...she'd do it again.''' **Who: The Wood Man (Season 1) **Source: ''Hilda'' (2018-2023) *'''Where's my daughter?!''' **Who: Johanna (Season 2) **Source: ''Hilda'' (2018-2023) *'''Woo-hoo...Oof!''' **Who: Hilda **Source: ''Hilda and The Mountain King'' (2021) *'''Looks like your stop!''' **Who: Raven (Season 3) **Source: ''Hilda'' (2018-2023) ===''Amphibia''=== * '''Hold on for a little longer girls. I'm coming for you and when I find you, we're gonna get home, but first... I think we're gonna have some fun with this place.''' **Who: Sasha Waybright (Season 1A) **Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019–2022) * '''No, I'm not.''' **Who: Anne Boonchuy (Season 1B) **Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019–2022) * '''I have a proposition for you Marcy. And I think you'll find it very interesting.''' **Who: King Andras (Season 2A) **Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019–2022) **Note: Although "A Day at the Aquarium" is the mid-season finale, the mid-season finale that's a non-canon is "The Shut In" which could either be the season premiere or the mid-season finale. If the next episode was the mid-season finale, then the last line would be "Not a holiday! Definitely not a holiday!" by Anne Boonchuy. * '''Home.''' **Who: Anne Boonchuy (Season 2B) **Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019–2022) * '''I can't imagine spending the holidays without your family. I know how hard it is to be apart and not know if you'll ever see each other again. So, I'm writing to let you know that your daughter is alive. She's trapped in another world, but I promise, I'm going to bring her back home safe. Signed, a friend.''' **Who: Anne Boonchuy (Season 3A) **Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019–2022) **Note: Although, it's not technically the last line in Season 3A. The mid-season finale was supposed to be "Escape to Amphibia". That means Anne's real last line in Season 3A was supposed to be "What... happened here?". * '''Change can be difficult, but it's how we grow. It can be the hardest thing to realize you can't hold on to something forever. Sometimes, you have to let it go. But of the things you let go, you'd be surprised what makes its way back to you.''' **Who: Anne Boonchuy (Season 3B) **Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019–2022) **Note: That was the last line of the series altogether, but the last spoken lines were "THANKS, FROG LADY!!!" by the children on a field trip to the aquarium. ===''Futurama''=== *Please don’t stop playing Fry. I wanna hear how it ends. **Who: Leela **Source: ''[[Futurama]]'' (1999–2003) **Note: The end of the Fox era after five seasons and was originally intended to be the series current of the show altogether but it returned after the four straight-to-video made for TV movies and was moved in. *What do you say, you wanna go around again? *I do. **Who: Fry and Leela **Source: ''[[Futurama]]'' (2018-2013) **Note: The end of the Fox era after four seasons and was originally intended to be currently after the second run but it returned after Professor Farnsworth unfroze time, thus making "Meanwhile" a pointless current, and it moved to Fox 10 years later. **Source: ''[[Futurama]]'' (2023–present) ===''Max & Ruby''=== *Max! My summer fashion party is an even bigger hit! Thanks to you and your... **Who: Ruby *Sprinkler! **Who: Max **Source: ''[[Max & Ruby]]'' (2002-2013) *You are definitely the most surprising pair of the year. **Who 1: The Mayor *Super Bunny! **Who 2: Max **Source: ''Max & Ruby (2016 reboot)'' (2016-2021) ===''Work It Out Wombats!''=== *Huh? **Who: Malik and Zadie (Season 1, Part 1) **Source: ''Work It Out Wombats'' (2023-present) *'''''NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!''''' **Who: Mr. E (Season 1, Part 2) **Source: ''Work It Out Wombats'' (2023-present) ===''The Owl House''=== * '''Yes, consume, grow wise, avoid paper cuts.''' ** Who: Bat Queen (Season 1A) ** Source: ''[[The Owl House]]'' (2020-2023) * '''Worry not, Kiki. We will be keeping an eye on the inhabitants of "The Owl House". In the meantime, the Day of Unity is upon us, and we have much work to do.''' ** Who: Emperor Belos (Season 1B) ** Source: ''[[The Owl House]]'' (2020-2023) * '''Who dubbed you a parent?''' ** Who: Edalyn Clawthorne aka "The Owl Lady" (Season 2A) ** Source: ''[[The Owl House]]'' (2020-2023) * '''Hey, Mom. I'm back. ** Who: Luz Noceda (Season 2B) ** Source: ''[[The Owl House]]'' (2020-2023) * '''Shoot! Camila still has the car keys!''' ** Who: Vee Noceda/Number 5 Basilisk (Season 3, "Thanks To Them") ** Source: ''[[The Owl House]]'' (2020-2023) * '''I think I want to play a new game.''' ** Who: The Collector (Season 3, "For the Future") ** Source: ''[[The Owl House]]'' (2020-2023) * '''And that's how we saved the Boiling Isles. Well, as much as we could. We were so relieved to see everyone safely released from the Archives. They were spared the worst of it, at least. Because of that, everyone got to reunite with their families and loved ones. And if someone thought they had no one waiting for them, well, they were in for a nice surprise. Still, there was a lot of work to be done and not everyone was keen to change things, but we were ready to give it a shot, all of us. As for the Collector, he and I made a pinky promise to keep trying our best. He said he had a lot of growing up to do, so he decided to return to the stars. No one argued, but I think I heard King whisper, "I hope I see you again." We got our happy ending, but I realized something in that moment. When the Titan had finally passed on, so did the powers of the glyphs. I had learned the Titan's language, but now I had no one to speak it to. It had helped me find my place when I had no other way. In my heart, I'll never forget it. A whole chapter of my life was over, but a new one was just beginning.''' ** Who: Luz Noceda (Rerun version) (Season 3, Watching and Dreaming) ** Source: ''[[The Owl House]]'' (2020-2023) * '''Welcome to the Boiling Isles! Watch your step!''' ** Who: The Collector (original airing and digital versions) (Season 3, Watching and Dreaming) ** Source: ''[[The Owl House]]'' (2020-2023) * (post-credits:) '''Eda, King? Thank you for everything.''' * '''Right back at you, kid.''' * '''Weirdos?''' * '''Weirdos.''' * '''Weirdos.''' * '''They're nearly gone! Okay everyone, on the count of three. One, two, three!''' * '''BYE!!!''' ** Who: Luz, Vee and Camila Noceda, Edalyn, Lilith and King Clawthorne, The Hexsquad, The Banshees and Everyone on the Boiling Isles (Season 3, "Watching and Dreaming") ** Source: ''[[The Owl House]]'' (2020-2023) ===''My Little Pony''=== ====''My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic''==== *'''In fact, it’s made it...''' *'''...the best night ever!''' **Who: Mane Six and Spike (Season 1) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) *'''Oh, yeah? Just wait until you see what I have planned for the bachelor party!''' **Who: Spike (Season 2) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) *'''Yes! Everything's gonna be just fine!''' **Who: Twilight Sparkle (Season 3) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) *'''Yes, well, I suppose not.''' **Who: Discord (Season 4) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) *'''Wonder what she's dreaming about now.''' **Who: Spike (Season 5A) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) *'''Starting is easy. All you have to do is make a friend; and you've got ''seven'' of them right here.''' **Who: Twilight Sparkle (Season 5B) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) *'''Friendship lessons can happen...anywhere.''' **Who: Starlight Glimmer (Season 6A) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) *'''Somepony is really gonna have to catch us up on what we missed.''' **Who: Rainbow Dash (Season 6B) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) *'''Seriously, this is heavy.''' **Who: Pinkie Pie (Season 7A) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) *'''It's funny. I thought meeting my idol would give me all the answers I ever wanted. But instead, I forgot what I already knew. Good thing I had a student of my own to remind me.''' **Who: Twilight Sparkle (Season 7B) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) *'''You know, if we can survive a day like this, I think our friendship is strong enough to handle anything the world can throw at us.''' **Who: Twilight Sparkle (Season 8A) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) *'''Hey, neighbor. Wanna be friends?''' **Who: Cozy Glow (Season 8B) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) *'''Nicely done.''' **Who: Princess Celestia (Season 9A) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) *'''That's all right, because I know exactly where to send you.''' **Who: Future Twilight Sparkle (Season 9B) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) ====Misc.==== * I don't either! ** Who: Rainbow Dash ** Source: ''My Little Pony: Pony Life'' (2020-2021) ** Note: Cancelled after one season, despite a cliffhanger ending. It was succeeded by the 2021 film, ''My Little Pony: A New Generation''. * I'm so grateful for everything we've shared over the years. My memories of all of you are so special, I can't wait to start making more. **Who: Twilight Sparkle ** Source: ''My Little Pony: Friendship is Forever'' (2020) ===''Bluey''=== * Oh yeah? Why's that? **Who 1: Chilli Heeler (Series 1, Part 1) *Um...I don't know, I just do. But this is nice too though. **Who 2: Bluey Christine Heeler (Series 1, Part 1) **Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present) *Bye, everyone! I've got to go home now! **Who: Bluey Christine Heeler (Series 1, Part 2) **Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present) *Who was Muffin? **Who 1: Bluey Christine Heeler (Series 2, Part 1A) *Ballerina! **Who 2: Socks Heeler (Series 2, Part 1A) **Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present) *Remember I'll always be here for you, even if you can't see me. Because I love you. **Who: Chilli Heeler (Series 2, Part 1B) **Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present) *Maybe you just saw something you wanted. **Who: Bingo Heeler (Series 2, Part 2) **Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present) *Yeah. See you later. **Who: Young Bandit Heeler (Series 3, Part 1) **Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present) *Yes...yes...you got it! Woo hoo!!! **Who 1: Bandit Heeler, Chilli Heeler, Pat, and Janelle (Series 3, Part 2) *Come here, Chucky! **Who 2: Pat and Janelle (Series 3, Part 2) **Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present) *You're not coming, are you? **Who: Chilli Heeler (Series 2, Part 3A) **Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present) *That's lucky. **Who: Bingo Heeler (Series 3, Part 3B) **Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present) *Once upon a time, there was a farmer who owned a horse called Midnight. But one day, Midnight ran away. The farmer's neighbors came by and said "that's bad luck". But the farmer said... **Who: Bluey Christine Heeler (Series 3, Part 4) **Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present) ===''Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur''=== *'''We're gonna get her back.''' **Who: Mimi (Season 1) * ''(post-credits)'' '''Where am I?''' **Who: Lunella Lafayette/Moon Girl (Season 1) **Source: ''Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur'' (2023-2025) *'''But you are my daughter, and you are NEVER doing this again!''' **Who: Adria Lafayette (Season 2A) **Source: ''Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur'' (2023-2025) *'''You go, Moon Girl!''' **Who: The Beyonder (Season 2B) **Source: ''Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur'' (2023-2025) ===''The Cuphead Show!''=== *Whoa! **Who: Cuphead, Mugman **Source: ''The Cuphead Show!'' (Season 1, 2022) *Mugman...? **Who: Cuphead **Source: ''The Cuphead Show!'' (Season 2, 2022) *CUPHEAD...!!! **Who: Mugman and Ms. Chalice **Source: ''The Cuphead Show!'' (Season 3, 2022) ===''The Proud Family''=== * ''WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH?'' '''''WHY...?!?!!''' **Who: Oscar Proud **Source: ''The Proud Family'' (2001-2005) *Come on, Puff! **Who: Suga Mama (Season 1) **Source: ''The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder'' (2022-present) *Oh man! I gotta find another non-paying job! **Who: Penny Proud (Season 2) **Source: ''The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder'' (2022-present) === ''Elliott from Earth'' === *Oh. Was that meant to happen? **Who: 105E **Source: ''[[Elliott from Earth]]'', Diminishing Discourse (2021) **Notes: Cancelled after only sixteen episodes. ===''The Powerpuff Girls''=== *Oh, how do you know? **Who: Mojo Jojo *So once again, the day is saved. Thanks to The Powerpuff Girls...and the contaminated banana cream pie. **Who: Narrator **Source: ''[[The Powerpuff Girls]]'' (1998-2005) *Hoc-guy? **Who: The Professor **Source: ''[[The Powerpuff Girls (2016 TV series)|The Powerpuff Girls]]'' (2016-2019) ===''PB&J Otter''=== *Happy Hoohaw Halloween everyone! **Who: Peanut and Jelly Otter *Happy Hoohaw Halloween! **Who: Everyone **Source: ''[[PB&J Otter]]'' (1998-2000) **Note: Cancelled after three seasons. ===''Cat Burglar''=== * But I... **Who: Rowdy (Bad Ending) **Source: ''Cat Burglar'' (2022) * What can I say? I'm a non-existential cartoon cat! **Who: Rowdy (Good Ending) **Source: ''Cat Burglar'' (2022) ===''Big City Greens''=== *'''One step ahead of you.''' **Who: Remy Remington (Season 1A) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) *'''Whaaaaa?!''' **Who: Remy Remington (Season 1B) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) **Note: Quote from "Phoenix Rises" which is the actual mid-season finale. But, "Forbidden Feline" is probably the mid-season finale as it counts as a holiday special, despite it being the 37th episode in chronological order. So, the last line could be "Look, I'm sorry I abandoned you earlier, but if you're gonna fancy me up, AT LEAST LET ME PICK THE DRESS!!!!" by Cricket Green. Or if you count "Uncaged" as part 2 of the mid-season finale, then the last line would be "Never." by Nancy Green. *'''Ugh, fine.''' **Who: Cricket Green (Season 1C) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) *'''Drinks on me!''' **Who: Andromeda (Season 2A part 1) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) *'''OH MY GOSH, WHAT HAPPENED?!''' **Who: Bill Green (Season 2A part 2) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) *'''And yet, it just...''did.''''' **Who: Tilly Green (Season 2B) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) **Notes: Quote from "Chipwrecked", which is the actual mid-season finale. But, if you count "Chip-ocalyspe Now" as part 2 of the mid-season finale, then the last line would be "Uh, I think so." by Bill Green. *'''Good TV.''' **Who: Tilly Green (Season 2C part 1) **Who: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) *'''No, it's Gloria ''Plus'' Green. My name isn't -- oh, forget it.''' **Who: Gloria Sato (Season 2C part 2) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) *'''I'M INNOCENT I SWEAR!!! Ah, forget it. I'll see myself to my room.''' **Who: Cricket Green (Season 3A part 1) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) *'''I just had the craziest idea...''' **Who: Bill Green (Season 3A part 2) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) **Notes: Quote from "Dirt Jar", which is the actual mid-season finale. But, if you count "The Move" as part 2 of the mid-season finale, the last line would be "Darn right, we will. Even if today was a little bumpy, it sure is great to be home." by Cricket Green. *'''Don't push it, Papa.''' **Who: Tilly Green (Season 3B part 1) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) **Note: Quote from "Horse Girl" which ended part 1 of Season 3B. But, if you count "Virtually Christmas" as the end of part 1 of Season 3B, then the last line would be Bill yelling "CRICKET!!!". *'''The Greens. It was the Greens. And their troubles are just beginning.''' **Who: Chip Whistler (Season 3B part 2) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) *'''Oh, completely separate incident with a rat.''' **Who: Chip Whistler (Season 4A part 1) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) *'''I get you. Come here, normal family!''' **Who: Bill Green (Season 4A part 2) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) **Note: Last episode to premiere before ''[[Big City Greens the Movie: Spacecation]]''. *'''Read the room, Gloria.''' **Who: Cricket Green (Season 4B part 1) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) *'''Hey, Babe, can you hold this? I need my arms free.''' *'''Sure.''' **Who: Chip Whistler and Babe (Season 4B part 2) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) *'''Nance, you're crushin' me!''' **Who: Bill Green (Season 4C) *(in-credits:) '''Okay, boys... nice smiles!''' **Who: Nancy Green (Season 4C) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) ===''The Ghost and Molly McGee''=== * Ooh! **Who: Molly McGee (Season 1) **Source: ''[[The Ghost and Molly McGee]]'' (2021-2024) * Aww, Scratch would have wanted that too. **Who: Molly McGee (Season 2) **Source: ''[[The Ghost and Molly McGee]]'' (2021-2024) ===''Gravity Falls''=== * '''That's good.''' ** Who: Gideon Gleeful (Season 1A) * (in-credits) '''Cross this town off our list.''' ** Who: Winninghouse Coupon Saver (Season 1A) ** Source: ''[[Gravity Falls]]'' (2012-2016) ** Note: Although, "Little Dipper" is the mid-season finale of Season 1, the next episode is technically the mid-season finale because it was the last episode of 2012 before it entered a three month hiatus, even though it’s a Halloween special. If "Summerween" was the mid-season finale, then the last line would be "I ate a man alive tonight." by Soos Ramirez. * '''Here we go.''' ** Who: Stanley Pines (Season 1B) ** Source: ''[[Gravity Falls]]'' (2012-2016) ** Note: This is the last spoken line of the season, but in its first broadcast of this episode, the last line was "Gravity Falls will return." also by Stanley Pines. * '''I am so on it, dude.''' ** Who: Soos Ramirez (Season 2A) ** Source: ''[[Gravity Falls]]'' (2012-2016) * '''If you've ever taken a road trip through the pacific northwest, you've probably seen a bumper sticker for a place called "Gravity Falls". It's not on any maps, and most people have never heard of it, some people think it's a myth. But if you're curious, don't wait. Take a trip. Find it. It's out there, somewhere in the woods. Waiting.''' ** Who: Dipper Pines (Season 2B) ** Source: ''[[Gravity Falls]]'' (2012–2016) ** Note: This is the last line of the series altogether, but the last spoken line was "Well, I'm moved in!" by Fiddleford Hadron McGucket. ===''DuckTales''=== * '''Me wallet! Stop that thief! Don't let that sneak get away! Dijon!''' ** Who: Scrooge McDuck ** Source: ''[[DuckTales (1987 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (1987-1990) * '''Plenty more adventures where that came from, eh, lad? Now, where in blazes is that cocoa stand? I am freezing!''' ** Who: Scrooge McDuck (Season 1A) ** Source: ''[[DuckTales (2017 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (2017-2021) * '''Boys?!''' ** Who: Della Duck (Season 1B) ** Source: ''[[DuckTales (2017 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (2017-2021) * '''I'm home.''' ** Who: Della Duck (Season 2A) ** Source: ''[[DuckTales (2017 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (2017-2021) * '''This has gone too far. The ducks almost cost us a world today, and without the world, who would we larceny against? The pieces are finally in piece. Time to come out of the shadows, take control, and end Clan McDuck. If the McDuck family wants an adventure, we'll give them their last.''' ** Who: Chairman Bradford Buzzard/FOWL Agent (Season 2B) ** Source: ''[[DuckTales (2017 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (2017-2021) * '''Woo-hoo!''' ** Who: Huey, Dewey, Louie, and Webby (Season 3A) ** Source: ''[[DuckTales (2017 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (2017-2021) * '''Alright. That was close, Launchpad. Phew, almost ruined the tender family moment.''' ** Who: Launchpad McQuack (Season 3B) ** Source: ''[[DuckTales (2017 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (2017-2021) ===''Animaniacs''=== * '''It actually doesn't stink!''' ** Who: [[w:Yakko, Wakko, and Dot|Wakko Warner]] * (post-credits:) '''Goodbye, nurse!''' ** Who: [[w:Yakko, Wakko, and Dot|Yakko, Wakko, and Dot]] ** Source: ''[[Animaniacs]]'' (1993-1998) * '''I am not a refrigerator!''' ** Who: [[w:List_of_Animaniacs_characters#Pinky and the Brain|The Brain (Brain2-Me2)]] ** Source: ''[[Pinky and the Brain]]'' (1995-1998) * '''I'm Underwear Head!''' ** Who: [[w:List_of_Tiny_Toon_Adventures_characters#Elmyra Duff|Elmyra Duff]] * '''They're Pinky, the Brain, and Underwear Head-head-head-head-head.''' ** Who: Off-screen vocals ** Source: ''[[Pinky, Elmyra & the Brain]]'' (1998-1999) * '''And the moral of our story is...''' ** Who: Yakko Warner ** Source: ''[[Wakko's Wish]]'' (1999) * '''Well, that's why the right man for the job is always a woman.''' ''[winks]'' ** Who: Dot Warner (Season 1) ** Source: ''[[Animaniacs (2020 TV series)]]'' (2020-2023) * '''This time, I wonder if we'll dream.''' ** Who: Wakko Warner (Season 2) ** Source: ''[[Animaniacs (2020 TV series)]]'' (2020-2023) * '''Ooh, I know! What about-''' ''[but the meteor explodes]'' ** Who: Wakko Warner (Season 3) ** Source: ''[[Animaniacs (2020 TV series)]]'' (2020-2023) ===''Star vs. the Forces of Evil''=== * '''No problem, your highness. I hope you found all the pieces to the wand.''' ** Who: Glossaryck (Season 1) ** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019) * '''I'm not a malady.''' ** Who: Ludo (Season 2A) ** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019) * '''Star! Hey! What do you mean--?''' ''[gasps]'' '''Star...?''' ** Who: Marco Diaz (Season 2B) ** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019) * '''My name is Metora.''' ** Who: Ms. Heinous/Metora Butterfly (Season 3A) ** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019) * '''Hello, my love. We're home.''' ** Who: Eclipsa Butterfly (Season 3B) ** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019) * '''So, Queen, I know a lot just happened, but it's still your coronation. Shall we make this thing official?''' ** Who: Principal Ruberiot (Season 4A) ** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019) * '''Hey.''' * '''Hi.''' ** Who: Marco Diaz and Star Butterfly (Season 4B) ** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019) ===''Elinor Wonders Why''=== *Hello, baby tree! **Who: Olive Elephant (Season 1A) **Source: ''Elinor Wonders Why'' (2020-2023) *Yes! We need more observations! Salta, ranita, salta! ''[giggles]'' **Who: Elinor Rabbit (Season 1B) **Source: ''Elinor Wonders Why'' (2020-2023) ===''Ben 10''=== *And for Ben Tennyson, who didn't want the summer to end, he would come to realize that going back to school was merely another beginning. **Who: Narrator **Source: ''[[Ben 10 (2005 TV series)|Ben 10]]'' (2005-2008) **Notes: The final episode of the original series, ''Goodbye and Good Riddance'', was retconned as non-canon in the sequel series. *If he ever does, it's hero time! **Who: Ben Tennyson **Source: ''[[Ben 10: Alien Force]]'' (2008-2010) *Two is plenty. **Who: Doyle Blackwell **Source: ''[[The Secret Saturdays]]'' (2008-2010) *Perhaps for your eighteenth birthday. **Who: Azmuth **Source: ''[[Ben 10: Ultimate Alien]]'' (2010-2012) *Gwen? Okay, fine, Gwen''dolyn'', you and Kevin pack your bags, we're going on a road trip! **Who: Ben Tennyson **Source: ''[[Ben 10: Omniverse]]'' (2012-2014) *You know what that means, kiddos? Team Tennyson is back in business! **Who: Grandpa Max Tennyson **Source: ''[[Ben 10 (2017 TV series)|Ben 10]]'' (2017-2021) ===''The Berenstain Bears''=== *What about my kumquats? Oh, I love those kumquats. **Who: Weasel McGreed **Source: ''[[The Berenstain Bears (1985 TV series)|The Berenstain Bears]]'' (1985-1986) *Anytime. Your tool belt will be right here waiting. **Who: Papa Q. Bear **Source: ''[[The Berenstain Bears (2003 TV series)|The Berenstain Bears]]'' (2003-2004) ===''Cow and Chicken''=== *Yeah! hold it, It was brilliant! Bravo! Get up, my little crab friends. Ow! oh, oh. Ow! oh, oh. Ha, ha, ha, ha! Easy with the pinchers. Ow! ow! oh. I did not have to bring you guys tonight! Looks like Red Guy always gets in the END! Ha, ha, ha, ha! **Who: Red Guy **Source: ''[[Cow and Chicken]]'' (1997-1999) *It was Baboon all along and not me that everyone was watching. I am not a legend, I am a tool. Well, I guess it's dummies won, smart guys zero. **Who: I.M Weasel **Source: ''[[I Am Weasel]]'' (1997-2000) ===DC animated universe=== *It's okay, there'll be another time. **Who: Batgirl **Source: ''[[Batman: The Animated Series]]'' (1992-1995) *One person at a time. **Who: Lois Lane **Source: ''[[Superman: The Animated Series]]'' (1996-2000) *Guilty... guilty... guilty... **Who: Two-Face **Source: ''[[The New Batman Adventures]]'' (1997-1999) *I'm coming. **Who: Miguel Diaz **Source: ''[[Batman Beyond]]'' (1999–2001) *Yeah, they can't get rid of ''us'' that easily. **Who: Static **Source: ''[[Static Shock]]'' (2000-2004) *Don't worry, Zee, we'll find a way. **Who: Ro Rowan **Source: ''[[The Zeta Project]]'' (2001-2002) *I love you, too. **Who: [[w:John Stewart (character)|Green Lantern]] **Source: ''[[Justice League]]'' (2001-2004) *And the adventure continues. **Who: Wonder Woman **Source: ''[[Justice League|Justice League Unlimited]]'' (2004-2006) ===DIC ''Mario'' Cartoons=== *Y'know, dearie, I've enjoyed your visit, but do me one favor: Next time, let me come and visit you! **Who: Grandma Toadstool **Source: ''[[The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!]]'' (1989) *Yeah, but we couldn't have done it without our Toad! **Who: Mario **Source: ''[[The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3]]'' (1990) *Good night. Mama Luigi. **Who: Yoshi **Source: ''[[Super Mario World (TV series)|Super Mario World]]'' (1991) ===''Digimon''=== *Our adventure in the Digital World might be over for now, but that gate won't stay closed forever. I have a feeling that this won't be the last time we see our pals, the Digimon! You wait and see. One day, that portal will open up again and we'll return to the Digital World! I wonder if Agumon will remember me? I know I'll never forget him, or the rest of the Digimon! None of us will! **Who: Tai Kamiya **Source: ''Digimon Adventure'' (1999–2000) *So, you can see we're still having adventures. They're just a little different from the ones we used to have when we were kids. The darkness has not been conquered, and it will continue to fight against the light forever, but as long as people remember to follow their dreams, evil will be kept at bay. And on days like today, it's hard to see any darkness anywhere. Now it's up to our children, and to children everywhere, to follow their dreams. Who knows where they'll end up, but the only way to find out is to take that first step into adventure. **Who: T.K. Takashi **Source: ''Digimon Adventure 02'' (2000-2001) *Even though I thought I would never be the same, the world soon went back to normal and after a while so did I. Life became exactly as it was before I met Guilmon. Kazu still made bad jokes and Miss Nami still gave too much homework. Sometimes I go by our old hangouts just to see if he's there. Don't know why I bother, 'cause he's never there. Most times I'm OK but there's this one thing that bugs me: a promise I made to a friend—a promise I don't think I can keep. (beat) Actually, scratch that. I think I'm going to keep that promise after all. **Who: Takato Matsuki **Source: ''Digimon Tamers'' (2001-2002) *Takuya: But even if I spent time with my family... *Zoe & J.P.: ...or other friends... *Koji & Koichi: ...or with our family... *Tommy: ...or just hanging around not crying... *Takuya: ...I'll be best friends with you guys! *All: Forever! **Who: The Digidestined **Source: ''Digimon Frontier'' (2002-2003) ===''Dora the Explorer''=== *'''We couldn't have done it without you, thanks for helping!''' **Who: Dora Márquez **Source: ''[[Dora the Explorer]]'' (2000-2019) **Note: End of every episode catchphrase from Seasons 1-2. *'''Gracias!''' **Who: Dora Márquez **Source: ''[[Dora the Explorer]]'' (2000-2019) **Note: End of every episode catchphrase from Season 3-8. *Adios, amigos! See you soon! **Who: Dora Márquez, Emma, Kate, Naiya, and Alana **Source: ''Dora and Friends: Into the City!'' (2014-2016) **Note: End of every episode catchphrase. *'''Hasta luego, amigos!''' *'''See you soon!''' **Who: Diego and Alicia Márquez **Source: ''[[Go, Diego, Go!]]'' (2005-2011) **Note: End of every episode catchphrase. ===''Doug''=== *Dad was right. It was the most amazing thing we'd ever seen. And he was right about something else, too. It really did bring our family closer than we'd ever been before. **Who: Douglas "Doug" Yancey Funnie **Source: ''[[Doug (TV series)|Doug]]'' (Nickelodeon series) (1991-1994) *So long, everybody. It's been fun. Your friend forever, Doug! **Who: Douglas "Doug" Yancey Funnie **Source: ''[[Doug (TV series)|Disney's Doug]]'' (1996-1999) **Note: Revival in development. ===''Dragon Ball''=== *For the continued adventures of Goku and his friends, be sure to watch '''[[w:Dragon Ball Z|Dragon Ball Z]]'''! **Who: Narrator **Source: ''Dragon Ball'' (1986-1989) *Young Uub has been taken in by the greatest warrior on the planet--Goku, the orphan who fell from the stars to become the savior of mankind. One thing is certain: as long as Goku lives, peace AND prosperity will reign. **Who: Narrator **Source: ''Dragon Ball Z'' (1989–1996) *And now we end the story of the Dragon Balls with the hope that the Earth will never again see the kind of darkness that brought it close to extinction so many times. But if that day comes, there is one who will step out of the shadows and fight in the name of all that is good and true! *Til we meet again, guys! **Who: Narrator and Goku **Source: ''Dragon Ball GT'' (1996-1997) *Goku, please come home. **Who: Narrator **Source: ''Dragon Ball Z Kai'' (2010-2018) *This is the journey that will never end. The struggle to push beyond all limits and we define the meaning of power new and mightier foes will arise, new adventures will begin and Goku and his fellow warriors will be ready. Until then, we bid you farewell! **Who: Narrator **Source: ''Dragon Ball Super'' (2017-2019) ===''Fancy Nancy''=== *We here at the School De Fancy now sees that everyone has their own way of being fancy. And as long as it makes you happy...we think it's magnifique! **Who: Nancy Clancy (Season 1) **Source: ''Fancy Nancy'' (2018-2022) *It sure feels magnifique to be home! **Who: Nancy Clancy (Season 2) **Source: ''Fancy Nancy'' (2018-2022) *It's…magic. And the only thing more magical than Paris is famille. That's French for family. **Who: Nancy Clancy (Season 3) **Source: ''Fancy Nancy'' (2018-2022) ===''Infinity Train''=== *I'm ready for anything. **Who: Tulip Olsen (Season 1) **Source: ''[[Infinity Train]]'' (2019–2021) *I wanted to be cool one time, just once. Nerd. **Who: Jesse Cosay (Season 2) **Source: ''[[Infinity Train]]'' (2019–2021) *Guess we'll have to figure it out. **Who: Grace Monroe (Season 3) **Source: ''[[Infinity Train]]'' (2019–2021) *We're... *We're working on it. **Who: Min-Gi Park and Ryan Akagi (Season 4) **Source: ''[[Infinity Train]]'' (2019–2021) ===''Inspector Gadget''=== *I'll get you next time, Gadget! Just you wait! **Who: Dr. Claw **Source: ''[[Inspector Gadget]]'' (1982-1986) *Next time, Gadget! Next time! **Who: Dr. Claw **Source: ''Inspector Gadget'' (2015-2018) ===''Soul Eater''=== *It'll be okay. When it does come, we'll be there. Besides, there's a lot more of people more than evil thoughts and bad deeds. There's bravery. Everybody has that. right in there. **Who: Maka Albarn **Source: ''[[Soul Eater|Soul Eater]] (2008-2009) ===''SpongeBob SquarePants''=== * '''Watch out.''' **Who: Barnacle Boy (season 1) (production and broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) * '''Awwww...!!''' **Who: Mr. Krabs (season 2) (production and broadcast) * '''We should have bought the whoopie cushion!''' [groans] **Who: SpongeBob SquarePants (season 3) (production and broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) **Note: Originally intended to be cancelled after three seasons and after the first movie, but was renewed for Season 4. However, the first movie is still considered as the series finale to the show all together. * '''Wow! This is the best Best Friends Day ever!''' **Who: Patrick Star (season 4) (production) * '''Hey, Get back here. You little booger!''' **Who: Mr. Krabs (season 4) (broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) * '''Sorry, boss.''' **Who: Stanley S. SquarePants (season 5) (production) * '''Looks like I'm back in Bikini Bottom forever!''' **Who: SpongeBob SquarePants (season 5) (broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) * '''Yeah I think right now might be the best time.''' **Who: SpongeBob SquarePants (season 6) (broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) *'''Plankton, What have you done to my daughter? You made her cry! You know, she could been with an ATM! Someone with money, But she chose you! I don't know why!''' **Who: E.M.I.L.P. (season 6) (production) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) * '''Aw, I knew Plankton was hatching an evil plan the whole time. So I just adjusted the controls to put Plankton where he can't do any harm. Nobody fools a squirrel from Texas!''' ''[Laughs which turns into evil laughter]'' **Who: Sandy Cheeks (season 7) (production) * '''Well, it's like I told you before boy, there ain't no such thing as witches, or curses, or magical beings, or...''' **Who: Mr. Krabs (season 7) (broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) * '''Oh, sorry, sir. I just sold it a minute ago. But we do have this slightly used Taco Stand for sale.''' **Who: Pawn Shop Owner (season 8) (production) * '''I think stealing a mail truck definitely counts as naughty. Wouldn't you say, Potty? Ho ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!''' *'''I sure would, Santa. [laughs] Merry Christmas!''' **Who: Santa Claus and Potty the Parrot (season 8) (broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) *Huh? Why are you Laughing? **Who: Old Man Walker (season 9A) (production) *See Patrick, bubbles are the answers to everything. **Who: SpongeBob SquarePants (season 9A) (broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) *NO! **Who: Squidward Tentacles (season 9B) (production) *Great! Now, GET TO WORK!!! **Who: Mr. Krabs (season 9B) (broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) *Oh, he'll be fine. **Who: Patrick Star (season 10) (production and broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) * You have a thing on your thing. **Who: Patrick Star (season 11) (production) * You're a menace! **Who: Santa Claus (season 11) (broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) * Goodnight. Eat tight. "Eat tight." [Laughs then snores] **Who: SpongeBob SquarePants (season 12) (production) * Here we go again! **Who: SpongeBob SquarePants (season 12) (broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) *Well, I still am a little mad. **Who: Sheldon J. Plankton (season 13A) (production and broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) *Sandy, help us! **Who: Townsfolk (season 13B) (production and broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) *You'll come back now, you hear? **Who: French Narrator (season 14) (production and broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) *Best fan club ever! **Who: SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidina (season 15) (production and broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) * Best Plank Day Ever! **Who: Young Patrick Star (season 1) **Source: [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years]] (2021-2024) * This was fun! **Who: Elwood (season 2) **Source: ''[[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years]]'' (2021-2024) * Hey, nice bathroom! I call the top bunk! **Who: GrandPat Star (season 1) **Source: ''[[The Patrick Star Show]]'' (2021-present) *I just love my fabulous, filthy family. **Who: Bunny Star (season 2) **Source: ''[[The Patrick Star Show]]'' (2021-present) *Yes, Mom, I love shopping. **Who: Patrick Star (season 3)(broadcast) **Source: ''[[The Patrick Star Show]]'' (2021-present) *Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! **Who: Santa Claus (season 3) (production) **Source: ''[[The Patrick Star Show]]'' (2021-present) *This really was the best slumber party ever. **Who: Squidina Star (season 4)(broadcast) **Source: ''[[The Patrick Star Show]]'' (2021-present) *The End. **Who: The Flying Dutchman (season 4) (production) **Source: ''[[The Patrick Star Show]]'' (2021-present) ===''The Lion King''=== *'''Oy.''' **Who: [[w:Timon and Pumbaa|Timon]] **Source: ''Timon & Pumbaa'' (1995-1999) *'''Yes, I am.''' **Who: [[w:The Lion Guard|Kion]] **Source: ''[[The Lion Guard]]'' (2015-2019) ===''The Loud House''=== *'''Dang it!''' **Who: Loud family (Season 1, production) **Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present) *'''Wait, what just happened?''' **Who: Lincoln Loud (Season 1, broadcast) **Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present) *'''Looks like we're getting the hang of not being so overprotective, huh, Howie? Howie? I'll get the smelling salts.''' **Who: Harold McBride (Season 2, production and broadcast) **Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present) *'''Ooh, I got one: hamburgers.''' **Who: Leni Loud (Season 3, production) **Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present) *'''Actually, that was an 18th century Japanese parasol, but no problem.''' **Who: Clyde McBride (Season 3, broadcast) **Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present) *'''It's just till the end of the summer.''' **Who: Lori Loud (Season 4, production and broadcast) **Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present) *'''You got it! All right, everybody. Back to class, or it's a week's detention!''' **Who: Rusty Spokes (Season 5, production) **Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present) *'''Oh, no. Chamomile.''' **Who: Lincoln Loud and Clyde McBride (Season 5, broadcast) **Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present) *'''Oh. Our own personal mud masks! Nature is classier than I thought.''' **Who: Lola Loud (Season 6, production and broadcast) **Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present) *'''Liam! I found your retainer!''' **Who: Rusty Spokes (Season 7, production and broadcast) **Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present) *'''Ronnie Anne! That's my line!''' **Who: Carlino Casagrande (Season 1) **Source: ''[[The Casagrandes]]'' (2019–2022) *'''Thank you, Mr. President.''' **Who: Ronnie Anne Santiago (Season 2) **Source: ''[[The Casagrandes]]'' (2019–2022) *'''Sweet dreams, mijo.''' **Who: Rosa Casagrande (Season 3) **Source: ''[[The Casagrandes]]'' (2019–2022) ===''Madagascar''=== *'''Even the problem, not our jurisdiction.''' **Who: [[w:List_of_Madagascar_(franchise)_characters#Skipper|Skipper]] **Source: ''[[The Penguins of Madagascar]]'' (2008-2015) *'''Where are we?''' **Who: [[w:List_of_Madagascar_(franchise)_characters#Alex|Alex]] **Source: ''All Hail King Julien'' (2014-2017) ===''The Garfield Show''=== *GARFIEEEEEEELLLLLDDD!!!!!!! **Who: Nermal ===''Marvel Animation Universe''=== *I made the show. Hulk Out. Bam, I said it. Hulk Out. **Who: A-Bomb **Source: ''Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.'' (2013-2015) *So, I guess this is it. But there's no need to get all sappy. I thought once I became the Ultimate Spider-Man, that would mean my work was done. But far from it. This isn't the end, this is only the beginning. **Who: Spider-Man **Source: ''[[Ultimate Spider-Man (TV series)|Ultimate Spider-Man]]'' (2012–2017) ===Marvel Cinematic Universe animated shows=== *It is the mission that is important, Kuda, not the story that is told about it. I just wish I could see this future we fought for. Or at least, know how long it will take to come to pass. **Who: Tafari **Source: ''[[Eyes of Wakanda]]'' (2025) *Kamala? Are you good? **Who: Kate Bishop (illusion) **Source: ''[[Marvel Zombies (miniseries)|Marvel Zombies]]'' *With some mysteries, sometimes the only answer is another question. You see... Time. Space. Reality. It's more than a linear path. It's a prism of endless possibility, where a single choice can branch off into infinite realities, creating new phenomena beyond what you could possibly imagine. I am Uatu. I see all of these vast new realities. Open your eyes, dare to face the unknown and ponder the question... What if? **Who: Uatu the Watcher **Source: ''[[What If...?]]'' (2021-2024) ===''Pandalian''=== *TBA (Coming Soon!) ===''Green Eggs and Ham''=== *'''That's why we should get going!''' **Who: Sam-I-Am (Season 1) **Source: ''Green Eggs and Ham'' (2019–2022) *'''Yes! She loves it! Now that is good news.''' **Who: Sam-I-Am (Season 2) **Source: ''Green Eggs and Ham'' (2019–2022) ===''Rugrats''=== *'''Happy Birthday, Kimi!''' **Who: Chuckie Finster **Source: ''[[Rugrats]]'' (1991-2004) *'''"Gotcha"!?''' **Who: Tommy Pickles **Source: ''[[All Grown Up!]]'' (2003-2008) *'''Well look, class! Our friend Mr. Sun has come to say hello! Isn't it wonderful? And we're all back to our happy happy happy selves!''' **Who: Miss Weemer **Source: ''Rugrats Pre-School Daze'' (2008) ===''Steven Universe''=== *Yes, please! **Who: Pearl **Source: ''[[Steven Universe]]'' (2013-2019) *Bye! **Who: Pearl **Source: ''[[Steven Universe Future]]'' (2019–2020) ===''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles''=== *Except Donatello's cooking. **Who: [[w:Raphael (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Raphael]] **Source: ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987 TV series)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' (1987-1996) *Yeah! Ha-ha-ha! **Who: [[w:Michelangelo (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Michelangelo]] **Source: ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2003 TV series)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' (2003-2009) *We are home. **Who: [[w:Raphael (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Raphael]] **Source: ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012 TV series)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' (2012-2017) *Wait, what? **Who: [[w:Leonardo (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Leonardo]] **Source: ''[[Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' (2018-2020) ===''Tiny Toon Adventures''=== *Season's Greetings! **Who: [[w:List_of_Tiny_Toon_Adventures_characters#Gogo Dodo|Gogo Dodo]] **Source: ''[[Tiny Toon Adventures]]'' (1990-1992) *Parting is such sweet sorrow. **Who: [[w:List_of_Tiny_Toon_Adventures_characters#Plucky Duck|Plucky Duck]] **Source: ''[[The Plucky Duck Show]]'' (1992) *Good! Now I can finally have the non-scary Halloween I wanted. Pumpkin spice latte, anyone? **Who: [[w:List_of_Tiny_Toon_Adventures_characters#Babs Bunny|Babs Bunny]] **Source: ''[[Tiny Toons Looniversity]]'' (2023-2025) ===''Total Drama''=== *At least things can only go up from here. [sighs] Of course. **Who: Dave **Source: ''[[Total Drama]]'' (2007-2014) * Yes. Throw all your money on the ground. Very smart. That's all for now, we hope we enjoyed our incredible race around the world. Be sure to keep an eye out for more of ''The Ridonculous Race''. **Who: Don **Source: ''[[Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race]]'' (2015) * Worst ending ever. **Who: Courtney **Source: ''[[Total DramaRama]]'' (2018-2022) ===''Transformers''=== *We shall see, Galvatron. We shall see. **Who: Zarak **Source: ''[[Transformers: Generation 1|The Transformers]]'' (1984-1987) *''Who's the smartest shark around?/Who's the coolest shark in town?/Sky-Byte, that's me!'' Ha! **Who: Sky-Byte **Source: ''[[Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2001)|Transformers: Robots in Disguise]]'' (2001-2002) *The war between the Autobots and the Decepticons has come to an end, and without the hatred between the two sides, there was no evil to feed Unicron, and he became powerless. Both Unicron and Megatron scattered into the far reaches of the universe. As for me, my purpose has been served. Cybertron is safe and Transformers live in peace with the Mini-Cons. So the next time you look out into space and see a peaceful star far, far away, it just might be Cybertron. TRANSFORM! **Who: Optimus Prime **Source: ''[[Transformers: Armada]]'' (2002-2003) *Check it out, Ironhide. That's our future out there. **Who: Kicker Jones **Source: ''[[Transformers: Energon]]'' (2004-2005) *Fire up the engines to full throttle! We have a course set to the far reaches of the universe, and it's time to go! Courage, hope for the future, and teamwork—our adventure will continue as long as we remember the words of Primus: 'Til all are one! TRANSFORM!!! **Who: Optimus Prime and everybody **Source: ''[[Transformers: Cybertron]]'' (2005-2006) *That would be the easy way out, Megatron. You don't deserve it. **Who: Optimus Prime **Source: ''[[Transformers Animated]]'' (2007-2009) *Until we meet again, old friend. **Who: Optimus Prime **Source: ''[[Transformers: Prime]]'' (2010-2013) *I want to get a picture of my heroes. **Who: Chief Charlie Burns **Source: ''[[Transformers: Rescue Bots]]'' (2011-2016) *Saved by the howl. Autobots, let's rev up and roll out. **Who: Bumblebee **Source: ''[[Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2015)|Transformers: Robots in Disguise]]'' (2015-2017) ===''Unikitty!''=== *Nice job, Bat-team. **Who: Unikitty (Season 1) **Source: ''[[Unikitty!]]'' (2017-2020) *Happens to the festival, Amigo. **Who: Dunklecorn (Season 2) **Source: ''[[Unikitty!]]'' (2017-2020) *Nice. **Who: One of the Two Astronauts (Season 3) **Source: ''[[Unikitty!]]'' (2017-2020) ===''[[:Sunny Day (TV series)|Sunny Day]]''=== *But Look How It Ended! **Who: Sunny (Season 2) *Bananas! **Who: Olivia And Doodle (Season 2) **Source: ''[[:Sunny Day (TV series)|Sunny Day]]'' ===''[[Messy Goes To OKIDO]]''=== *Bye Bye! **Who: Messy Monster (Season 3) **Source: ''[[Messy Goes To OKIDO]]'' (2015-2023) ===''[[Winx Club]]''=== *'''Listen. Whatever it is you choose to do, I want you to know that you're not alone.''' **Who: Sky (Cinélume, Season 1) *'''To next year!''' **Who: Alfea students (4Kids, Season 1) **Source: ''Winx Club'' (2003-2019) *'''Mirta!''' **Who: Bloom (Cinélume, Season 2) *'''Wait for us!''' **Who: Bloom (4Kids, Season 2) **Source: ''Winx Club'' (2003-2019) *'''Yes, I think I'm ready. Mom, Dad, I feel like were going to meet very, very soon.''' **Who: Bloom (Cinélume, Season 3) *'''I think I'm ready. Mom, Dad, I feel like we're going to meet really soon.''' **Who: Bloom (4Kids, Season 3) *'''I ''am'' ready. Mom, Dad, I have a feeling we're going to meet very, very soon.''' **Who: Bloom (Atlas Oceanic, Season 3) **Source: ''Winx Club'' (2003-2019) *'''Your journey on the path of magic also passes through Gardenia. Now off you go, you're on in a minute!''' **Who: Faragonda (Cinélume, Season 4) *'''A fairy's magical journey includes all her dreams and passions. Now off you go, show me what you've got, girls!''' **Who: Faragonda (Atlas Oceanic, Season 4) **Source: ''Winx Club'' (2003-2019) *'''Best little sister in the known universe!''' **Who: Daphne (Season 5) **Source: ''Winx Club'' (2003-2019) *'''Thanks, cuz.''' **Who: Thoren (Season 6) **Source: ''Winx Club'' (2003-2019) *'''Even the smallest creature can play a key role in the destiny of all the worlds.''' **Who: Bloom (Season 7) **Source: ''Winx Club'' (2003-2019) *'''Winx forever!''' **Who: Stella (Season 8) **Source: ''Winx Club'' (2003-2019) *'''There is not enough room for fairies and witches on earth!''' **Who: Baba Yags **Source: ''[[World of Winx]]'' (2017-2018) **Note: Was quietly cancelled and ended on a cliffhanger due to most of the crew producing the final season of the main show. ==See also== * [[First lines in animated TV shows]] [[Category:Last lines|Animated]] [[Category:Animated TV shows|*]] 74eo1ydc8ju9fligu2kxedg9ay889pz 3942142 3942141 2026-05-17T19:20:38Z ~2026-20502-24 3307513 3942142 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Animated TV shows== * '''You're coming with me, punk!''' **Who: Ron the Rent-a-Cop **Source: ''[[6teen]]'' (2004-2010) *'''Oh yeah!''' **Who: Shermy **Source: ''[[Adventure Time]]'' (2010-2018) *'''Being Choose Goose is no lark... especially now that I'm turning dark.''' **Who: Choose Goose **Source: ''[[Adventure Time: Distant Lands]]'' (2020-2021) *'''That's right, be afraid! Be very afraid! And tell all your cold-blooded friends there's plenty more where that came from!''' **Who: Baby Eddie **Source: ''[[The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius]]'' (2002-2006) *Oh no. It's started. [screaming] **Who: Rob **Source: ''[[The Amazing World of Gumball]]'' (2011-2019) *Trust me. There's something magical about you too. **Who: Jake Long **Source: ''[[American Dragon: Jake Long]]'' (2005-2007) **Notes: The closing credits to this episode views clips from the show's previous episodes. * I am... I... I think as we are very tired, we should go down to the pond for a drink. Then we'll go back to our nests and burrows and sleep. We can explore our big new park tomorrow. And then we will plan how to live together in perfect peace and harmony. In the true spirits of Farthing Wood. **Who: Plucky **Source: ''[[The Animals of Farthing Wood (TV series)|The Animals of Farthing Wood]]'' (1993-1995) *Mechana can we do it? *We Animal Mechanical can! **Who: Animal Mechanicals **Source: ''[[Animal Mechanicals]]'' (2007-2011) **Note: End of every episode catchphrase. *I am the dirt under your nails, cupcake. Nothing's gonna clean me out. **Who: Violet "Vi" **Source: ''[[Arcane]]'' (2021-2024) *"Chapter one: how I got my very first pair of glasses…" **Who: Adult Arthur **Source: ''[[Arthur (TV series)|Arthur]]'' (1996-2022) *Well, I think you all look ''perfect''. **Who: Toph Beifong ** Source: ''[[Avatar: The Last Airbender]]'' (2005-2008) *You wanted to know how history will remember the Avengers, Iron Man? Well, here's your answer. **Who: Captain America **Source: ''[[The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes]]'' (2010-2013) *Where shall I begin? **Who: [[w:Babar the Elephant|King Babar]] **Source: ''[[Babar (TV series)|Babar]]'' (1989–2000) *Fine, but don't blame me if dinner is late! I'd like to see you cook a meal in your arms where your legs should be! Maybe I'll go on the Goraldo Show, he'll believe me about the aliens! I can't find my tush! **Who: Nora Beady **Source: ''[[Back at the Barnyard]]'' (2007-2011) *Mini-muffin? **Who: Tasha and Austin **Source: ''[[The Backyardigans]]'' (2004-2010) *We got the coolest clubhouse. *We? *Yeah, Junior Justice League. Team division. *Nice try. **Who: Robin, Batgirl and Batman **Source: ''[[The Batman]]'' (2004-2008) *A great run. And until we meet again boys and girls, know that wherever evil lurks in all its myriad forms, I'll be there with the hammers of justice to fight for decency, and defend the innocent. Goodnight. **Who: Batman **Source: ''[[Batman: The Brave and the Bold]]'' (2008-2011) *I love you too, son. This message will self-destruct in 3...2...1... **Who: [[w:Fred Jones (Scooby-Doo)|Fred Jones]] (reading a letter from his father) **Source: ''[[Be Cool, Scooby-Doo!]]'' (2015-2018) *P2, going down. **Who: Elevator Announcer **Source: ''[[Beavis and Butt-head]]'' (1993-97; 2011) *The End! **Who: Beetlejuice **Source: ''[[Beetlejuice (TV series)|Beetlejuice]]'' (1989–1991) *Bravo, Batman. Checkmate. Shall we play again? **Who: Anarky **Source: ''[[Beware the Batman]]'' (2013-2014) *Bacon Berry? Guys, guys! You gotta check this out! **Who: Lettie **Source: ''[[Big Blue]]'' (2021-2022) *Ba-a-la-la-la-la. **Who: Baymax **Source: ''[[Big Hero 6: The Series]]'' (2017-2021) *Welcome to Taco Shack. May I take your order? **Who: Taco Shack Employee **Source: ''[[Billy Dilley's Super-Duper Subterranean Summer]]'' (2017) **Note: Cancelled after one season due to poor ratings. *Riley, run! **Who: Huey Freeman **Source: ''[[The Boondocks]]'' (2005-2014) *Yeah. This is nice. **Who: BoJack Horseman **Source: ''[[BoJack Horseman]]'' (2014-2020) *Never mind, I can't wait. **Who: Brandy Harrington **Source: ''[[Brandy & Mr. Whiskers]]'' (2004-2006) *Yup, yup! Let us swim to freedom! **Who: Buhdeuce **Source: ''[[Breadwinners]]'' (2014-2016) *I'm stuck in a tree! **Who: Bunsen **Source: ''[[Bunsen Is a Beast]]'' (2017-2018) **Note: Series cancelled after one season due to declining ratings and Butch Hartman leaving Nickelodeon. *Everybody who loves Tea Party Land, say "I"! I! Okay, who's up for a crumpet? **Who: Pupert Pesky **Source: ''[[The Buzz on Maggie]]'' (2005-2006) *Sometimes change is good. Having a new teacher turned out to be a lot of fun. **Who: Narrator **Source: ''[[Caillou]]'' (1997-2010) *Please tell me we go home alone with her? **Who: McGee **Source: ''[[Camp Lakebottom]]'' (2013-2017) *Okay. I think it's just officially got to the point where it can't get any weirder. **Who: Samson *(in-credits:) Uh, yeah... okay. **Who: Stanley **Source: ''[[Camp Lazlo]]'' (2005-2008) *That's the magic of meat! **Who: Johnny Meatseed **Source: ''[[CatDog]]'' (1998-2005) *''[laughing]'' Yeah. **Who: Sally **Source: ''The Cat In The Hat Knows A Lot About That!'' (2010-2018) *Hey hoo cha, birdie bird wa, stinky dinky dinky dinky doo, yeah!!! **Who: Mr. Blik, Gordon and Waffle **Source: ''[[Catscratch]]'' (2005-2007) *Hello, anybody, hello? **Who: Snap **Source: ''[[ChalkZone]]'' (2002-2008) *Stop it, Zouzou. You're suppose to be a watch dog, not a kiss dog! ''[laughs]'' **Who: Charley **Source: ''[[Charley and Mimmo]]'' (1999–2002) *I have saved a fucking gorilla today, I also talked a very special idiot out of willing himself dead, and now, just because I'm too hairy in some places and too bald in other places, you can't find it in your putrid little heart to want to get to know me sexually? [Laughs sarcastically] What's wrong with me? What is wrong with you? I am magical! **Who: Frank **Source: ''[[China, IL]]'' (2011-2015) *Babies, no! Put Scraps down! **Who: Adult Chowder *(post-credits:) Oh, radda. **Who: Shnitzel **Source: ''[[Chowder (TV series)|Chowder]]'' (2007-2010) *Yes! **Who: Clarence Wendle **Source: ''[[Clarence (American TV series)|Clarence]]'' (2014-2018) *Enjoy the moment, Jay. For the future is no longer foretold. **Who: Cronus **Source: ''[[Class of the Titans]]'' (2005-2008) *What?! This is your fault! **Who: Lil' D **Source: ''[[Class of 3000]]'' (2006-2008) *We are dumb. **Who: Donna Tubbs-Brown **Source: ''[[The Cleveland Show]]'' (2009–2013) **Note: Ended after four seasons due to declining ratings and due to Cleveland and his new family moving back to Quahog near the end of Season 12 of Family Guy. *Already with the excuses. **Who: Bridgette **Source: ''[[Close Enough]]'' (2020-2022) *Hello? Yeah. We told him everything he wanted to hear. We'll meet you in the moonbase, okay? Oh! And Numbuh 1... Welcome back. **Who: Adult Abigail Lincoln (Numbuh 5) *(post-credits:) Stay young. **Who: None **Source: ''[[Codename: Kids Next Door]]'' (2002-2008) **Notes: The final credits roll with a short montage of every episode from beginning to finish, ending with a picture of Sector V looking at the sunset outside the treehouse with the actual final lines read above them, "Stay Young". *What more could a bear ask for? **Who: [[w:Corduroy (book)|Corduroy]] **Source: ''[[Corduroy (TV series)|Corduroy]]'' (2000-2001) *Perfect! **Who: The Perfectionist (offscreen) **Source: ''[[Courage the Cowardly Dog]]'' (1999–2002) *I'll see you tomorrow. **Who: Craig Williams **Source: ''[[Craig of the Creek]]'' (2018-2025) *That's right, Cubix. We're friends. Friends forever. **Who: Connor **Source: ''[[Cubix: Robots for Everyone]]'' (2001-2003) *Thanks, Dan. **Who: Little Chris **Source: ''[[Dan Vs.]]'' (2011-2013) *Cool statue. Personally, I would've used recycled materials, but, you know, that's just me. **Who: Sam Manson **Source: ''[[Danny Phantom]]'' (2004-2007) *I take it back. **Who: Jane **Source: ''[[Daria]]'' (1997-2002) *Come on, Eep. The moon's looking at me funny again. We need to go smash his face! **Who: Grug Crood **Source: ''[[Dawn of the Croods]]'' (2015-2017) *I'm saying there's hope for Harleen yet. **Who: Barbara "Babs" Gordon/Batgirl **Source: ''[[DC Super Hero Girls (TV series)|DC Super Hero Girls]]'' (2019–2021) *I can do anything with my best friends on my side. **Who: Dottie "Doc" McStuffins **Source: ''[[Doc McStuffins]]'' (2012-2020) *Oh yeah. Hehehe. Anybody wanna dance? **Who: Donkey Kong **Source: ''[[Donkey Kong Country]]'' (1998-2000) *It's a perfect name! **Who: Enrique **Source: ''[[Dragon Tales]]'' (1999–2005) *Hey, assholes, thanks for watching! **Who: [[w:List of Drawn Together characters#Toot Braunstein|Toot Braunstein]] **Source: ''[[Drawn Together]]'' (2004-2007) *First one inside gets to give him mouth to mouth! **Who: Lee *(post-credits:) It's the end of the movie? What movie? **Who: Jonny **Source: ''[[Ed Edd n Eddy]]'' (1999–2009) *Familia forever! **Who: El Tigre **Source: ''[[El Tigre: The Adventures of Manny Rivera]]'' (2007-2008) *I am. **Who: Elena **Source: ''[[Elena of Avalor]]'' (2016-2020) *Remember, friends help friends solve problems. See you next time! **Who: [[w:Elliot Moose|Elliot Moose]] **Source: ''[[Elliot Moose (TV series)|Elliot Moose]]'' (1998-2000) *Hmm. Maybe being emperor won't be so bad after all. **Who: Kuzco *(post-credits:) KUZCO!! **Who: Yzma **Source: ''[[The Emperor's New School]]'' (2006-2008) *What? **Who: Gull *Awww! **Who: The Crowd **Source: ''[[:Endangered Species (TV series)|Endangered Species]]'' *Guys, I just decoded a video record of last night's crazy mad cap adventures, and hijinx and things of this nature! Check it! **Who: Dollarnator **Source: ''[[:Fanboy & Chum Chum]]'' *Happy Friendaversary! **Who: [[w:Timmy Tiberius Turner|Timmy Turner]] and Chloe Carmichael **Source: ''[[The Fairly OddParents|The Fairly OddParents!]]'' (2001-2017) **Note: Ended after ten seasons due to Butch Hartman leaving Nickelodeon and due to declining ratings. *Oh. **Who: Ruff Ruffman *I love you guys! **Who: Emmie Atwood **Source: ''[[Fetch! with Ruff Ruffman]]'' (2006-2010) *I'm king of the world! King of the world! **Who: Milo Fishtooth **Source: ''[[Fish Hooks]]'' (2010-2014) *Okay, bye doggies! **Who: Cheese **Source: ''[[Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends]]'' (2004-2009) *Come on, Franklin. **Who: Beaver **Source: ''[[Franklin (TV series)|Franklin]]'' (1997-2004) *You're an evil man! **Who: Norm Abram **Source: ''[[Freakazoid!]]'' (1995-1997) *What a great day! **Who: Kiki **Source: ''[[Fresh Beat Band of Spies]]'' (2014-2016) *Welcome home, Goliath. Welcome home. **Who: Elisa Maza **Source: ''[[Gargoyles (TV series)|Gargoyles]]'' (1994–1996) *One thousand years ago, we lived in a world that understood our purpose. It was the age of Gargoyles. Ten centuries later, we awoke to a world bent on our destruction. Somehow, we never lost hope, and today we come full circle. A new age has begun, and we live again. **Who: Goliath **Source: ''[[Gargoyles (TV series)#Season 3 (The Goliath Chronicles) -- (Non-Cannon)|Gargoyles: The Goliath Chronicles]]'' (1996–1997) *Yes, there is. **Who: Agent Six **Source: ''[[Generator Rex]]'' (2010-2013) *Knowing Razer, I'd say he's got a pretty good shot. **Who: Hal Jordan **Source: ''[[Green Lantern: The Animated Series]]'' (2011-2013) *Thanks for coming out, everyone! **Who: Cory Riffin, Kin Kujira, Kon Kujira, and Laney Penn **Source: ''[[Grojband]]'' (2013-2015) *'''It's not the attic, you buffoon! Look, this goes against all of my programming, but there's something you need to know. There's one list item Hailey's never told you about.''' **Who: Beta **Source: ''[[Hailey's On It!]]'' (2023-2024) **Note: Cancelled after one season and ended on a cliffhanger despite critical acclaim. *'''Nah, let them have this.''' **Who: Male Alien **Source: ''[[Hamster & Gretel]]'' (2022-2025) *'''Yeah. You found each other. When a friend comes into your life, it changes you a little. They challenge you. They make you laugh. They make you stronger. Each person gives you a gift. A special part of them that you keep forever. It's like they're always with you.''' **Who: Irving Beaks **Source: ''[[Harvey Beaks]]'' (2015-2017) *He's never gonna hear the end of it, isn't he? **Who: Rhonda Lloyd **Source: ''[[Hey Arnold!]]'' (1996-2004) *'''Sorry, I didn't mean-- I'd take it back! Mmm, charred marshmallow flesh. Whoa! N-n-no! I didn't say that. No, it wasn't me. That wasn't someone, who else? Get off this ship, you're not welcome.''' **Who: Nerville **Source: ''[[The High Fructose Adventures of Annoying Orange]]'' (2012-2014) *Oh, she's the most beautiful creature I've ever seen. This is the life...or more less. **Who: Kaz Harada **Source: ''[[Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi]]'' (2004-2006) *That's a wrap! **Who: Father Time **Source: ''[[Histeria!]]'' (1998-2000) *I feels very at home. **Who: Oh **Source: ''[[Home: Adventures with Tip & Oh]]'' (2016-2018) *I could go for tapas… **Who: Brendan **Source: ''[[Home Movies (TV series)|Home Movies]]'' (1999–2004) *Oh, Mickey! **Who: Minnie Mouse **Source: ''[[w:House of Mouse|House of Mouse]]'' (2001-2003) *I love you too, Bertie! **Who: Arlo Beauregard **Source: ''I Heart Arlo'' (2021) *Get out of the house of Zim! This is my house, get out! Get- **Who: Zim **Source: ''[[Invader Zim]]'' (2001-2006) *Why not?! You weren't using it! You're always too busy fighting wizards! **Who: Drago **Source: ''[[Jackie Chan Adventures]]'' (2000-2005) *That was brilliant! Thank ye, mates! See you next time! **Who: John Darling **Source: ''[[Jake and the Never Land Pirates]]'' (2011-2016) *Yes! **Who: Fred Fredburger **Source: ''[[Jellystone!]]'' (2021-2025) *[cries] I don't have a tin cup to rattle at the bars! [yelling angrily] '''TWO-SHOOOOOEEEEES!!!''' **Who: Lucius [Offscreen] **Source: ''[[Jimmy Two-Shoes]]'' (2009–2012) *You're wrong Mr. Teacherman, this is Porkbelly. Where we make our own history. **Who: [[w:List_of_Johnny_Test_characters#Johnny Test|Johnny Test]] **Source: ''[[Johnny Test]]'' (2005-2014) *You bet, pal! **Who: Kick Buttowski **Source: ''[[Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil]]'' (2010-2012) **Note: Cancelled after two seasons due to poor ratings. *I told you graduation wasn't the end of the world. **Who: Kim Possible *(post-credits) Glad you asked! Funny story - not funny "ha-ha". But, it was a Tuesday... **Who: Dr. Drakken **Source: ''[[Kim Possible]]'' (2002-2007) *'''Are you ready, dino buddy? Once upon a time, there was a brave knight...''' **Who: Tej **Source: ''[[Kindergarten: The Musical|Kindergarten: The Musical!]]'' (2024-2025) **Note: Cancelled after one season. *Yup! **Who: Hank Hill (original run) **Source: ''[[King of the Hill]]'' (1997-2010) **Note: Revival announced for 2025. *Duck! **Who: Arnold **Source: ''[[Kipper (TV series)|Kipper]]'' (1997-2000) *Hey everybody, Let's hear it for the Dragon Warrior! Huzzah, huzzah... **Who: Lu Kang and the citizens **Source: ''[[Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness]]'' (2011-2016) *There you go! **Who: Littlefoot **Source: ''[[The Land Before Time (TV series)|The Land Before Time]]'' (2007-2008) *Sounds perfect. **Who: Korra **Source: ''[[The Legend of Korra]]'' (2012-2014) *Now is a time of celebration. We have won a great victory. But when the glow has faded, we must remember the cost, and we must be forever vigilant. The message of hate that Mordred carried will come again with a different name, a different face. But as long as we keep the ideals of Camelot alive in our hearts, we will prevail. Long live honor, and justice. Long live goodness, and truth. Long live... Camelot! **Who: King Arthur **Source: ''[[The Legend of Prince Valiant]]'' (1991-1993) *Evil does not die. It evolves. **Who: Brainiac 6 **Source: ''[[Legion of Super Heroes]]'' (2006-2008) *Change can happen anytime, Carmen. If you ever wanted to start working harder to bring love and harmony to the world, remember, there's always tomorrow. **Who: Luna the Moon **Source: ''[[Let's Go Luna!]]'' (2018-2022) *You have to catch up with it yourself. **Who: Benjamin Franklin **Source: ''[[Liberty's Kids]]'' (2002-2003) *I love you too, Stitch. **Who: Lilo Pelekai **Source: ''[[Lilo & Stitch: The Series]]'' (2003-2006) *Little Bill, who are you talking to? **Who: Brenda Glover **Source: ''[[Little Bill]]'' (1999–2004) *See you on the next mission! **Who: Leo **Source: ''Little Einsteins'' (2005-2010) **Note: End-of-every episode catchphrase. *I can't believe they canceled our show and put this on instead. **Who: Lulu Moppet **Source: ''[[The Little Lulu Show]]'' (1995-1999) *'''Someday, kiddo. Someday.''' **Who: Roger Baxter **Source: ''[[Littlest Pet Shop (2012 TV series)|Littlest Pet Shop]]'' (2012-2016) **Note: Cancelled due to poor toy sales. Succeeded by the reboot ''A World Of Our Own''. *Go ahead, Eddie. I understand. **Who: Lloyd Nebulon **Source: ''[[w:Lloyd in Space|Lloyd in Space]]'' (2001-2004) *Daffy! Get those legs up! **Who: Granny **Source: ''Baby Looney Tunes'' (2001-2005) **Note: Canceled due to poor ratings and negative reviews. It was succeeded by ''[[The Looney Tunes Show]]'' in 2011. *Ain't I a stinker? **Who: Bugs Bunny as Batman *And that's the end. **Who: [[w:Bugs Bunny|Bugs Bunny]] (Post-credits) **Source: ''[[The Looney Tunes Show]]'' (2011-2014) *I just call "dibs" on his fish flakes. **Who: A fish **Source: ''[[Mad (TV series)|MAD]]'' (2010-2013) *Hooray for Maggie! **Who: Beast, Hamilton Hocks, Rudy, Nedley, and the Jellybean Team **Source: ''[[Maggie and the Ferocious Beast]]'' (2000-2002) *Yut is pleased by attention! **Who: Mister Yut **Source: ''Littlest Pet Shop: A World of Our Own'' (2018-19) **Note: Cancelled after one season. *Leave me alone, or I will call my fiend back! **Who: Vendetta **Source: ''[[Making Fiends (TV series)|Making Fiends]]'' (2008) **Note: Cancelled after one season. *'''I'm the luckiest one here. I have two families! Now about that turkey...''' **Who: Martha **Source: ''[[Martha Speaks (TV series)|Martha Speaks]]'' (2008-2014) *I guess we will, baby. I guess we will. **Who: Bubbie **Source: ''[[The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack]]'' (2008-2010) *So even though things didn't go exactly like they were supposed to, that matinee turned out to be one of our best shows ever. Now that's teamwork. What can I say, Mom and Dad? We're a real class act. **Who: Eddy Largo **Source: ''[[Marvin the Tap-Dancing Horse]]'' (2000-2002) *'''It's a funny thing about making a commitment. Even though sometimes you don't want to follow through. Once you do, you're glad you did.''' **Who: Maya Santos **Source: ''[[Maya & Miguel]]'' (2004-2007) *Now, let's see what kind of new stuff the evil me put in Megas. Woo! Yeah, Wah-hoo! Yeah! Wa, ha, ha! **Who: Harold "Coop" Cooplowski **Source: ''[[Megas XLR]]'' (2004-2005) *I believe that you would, Slick. Now how about a hand? **Who: Agent K **Source: ''[[Men in Black: The Series]]'' (1997-2001) *See you later! **Who: Squishella **Source: ''[[Mermicorno: Starfall]]'' (2025) *See ya real soon! **Who: Mickey Mouse **Note: Catchphrase that ends every episode of Season 1. *Aw, thanks for stopping by! **Who: Mickey Mouse **Note: Catchphrase that ends almost every episode of Seasons 2-4. *Aw, thanks for stopping by. Good night, everybody. **Who: Mickey Mouse (original run) **Source: ''[[Mickey Mouse Clubhouse]]'' (2006-2016) **Note: Official last line of the series, because the series got cancelled after four seasons due to poor ratings. It was succeeded by ''Mickey and the Roadster Racers'', and later a revival was announced for 2025. *See you next time! Ha ha ha! **Who: Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, or Funny the Funhouse **Source: ''[[Mickey Mouse|Mickey Mouse Funhouse]]'' (2021-2025) *Oh, Haps! I don't know if you can see from your side, but I just skywrote 'Bessie and Happy BFFAEAE' and it looks really great! **Who: Bessie Higgenbottom **Source: ''[[The Mighty B!]]'' (2008-2011) *Don't worry about it. **Who: Witchy Simone **Source: ''[[Mighty Magiswords]]'' (2016-2019) *'''I think we're gonna need a new ship.''' **Who: Milo Murphy **Source: ''[[Milo Murphy's Law]]'' (2016-2019) **Note: Either on hiatus or cancelled after two seasons due to poor ratings. *Weddings, Priya. They do something to you. **Who: Mira **Source: ''Mira, Royal Detective'' (2020-2022) *Aw, man. There goes my timeslot. **Who: Ned **Source: ''The Misfortune of Being Ned'' (2013-2014) **Note:Only a 1-minute web series but cancelled on Annoying Orange in the YouTube Channel. *'''Y'see? Sometimes one small Mixel is all it takes. Yup, Mixopolis is my town. And always will be.''' **Who: Booger **Source: ''[[Mixels]]'' (2014-2016) *'''You go, Moon Girl!''' **Who: The Beyonder **Source: ''[[Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur]]'' (2023-2025) *'''Beverly!''' **Who: Sheriff **Source: ''[[Momma Named Me Sheriff]]'' (2019-2021) *'''Okay, going for the triple bonus.''' **Who: President Hathaway **Source: ''[[w:Monsters vs. Aliens (TV series)|Monsters vs. Aliens]]'' (2013-2014) *Today's Christmas sermon is about family. What is family? Well, a lot of times, family is just a bunch of people who are forced to be together just because they came out of each other — but every so often...a miracle happens. A loving family, just like that, out of nowhere. Now, what causes this — a belief in God, a strong moral structure, blind luck? Who knows, who cares? Ah, you're not gonna get any answers out of me. I'm just a puppet for the Big Guy. I don't write this stuff. The end — I mean, Amen. Nah, who am I kidding? The End. **Who: Reverend "Rod" Putty **Source: ''[[Moral Orel]]'' (2005-2008) *Oh, freak me out! This is craziness! (US version) *Leave me alone, you ticklish pest! (UK version) **Who: Mr. Bump **Source: ''[[The Mr. Men Show]]'' (2008-2009) *See you later, friends. And thanks for all the laughs. **Who: Kermit **Source: ''[[Muppet Babies (2018 TV series)|Muppet Babies]]'' (2018-2022) *Thanks. **Who: Thunder **Source: ''[[My Friend Rabbit]]'' (2007-2008) *Uh-oh. **Who: Adam Lyon **Source: ''[[My Gym Partner's a Monkey]]'' (2005-2008) *Jenny, did you forget to feed the tiger? **Who: Nora **Source: ''[[My Life as a Teenage Robot]]'' (2003-2009) *Let's bounce! Let's bounce! Oh, yeah! Let's bounce! **Who: Daisy **Source: ''Nature Cat'' (2015-2024) *Monkey King! **Who: Kai-Lan, Hoho, Tolee, and Rintoo **Source: ''Ni Hao, Kai-Lan'' (2007-2011) *Thank you for watching the show! **Who: K.O. **Source: ''[[OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes]]'' (2017-2019) *Good night, Olivia. Time for bed, William! **Who: Mom **Source: ''[[Olivia]]'' (2009–2013) *I have some things to tell you. It's about my backpack. **Who: Ollie Allen **Source: ''[[Ollie's Pack]]'' (2020-2021) *T'dee, t'dee, t'dee, t'dee, t'dee, t'dee! Ted Cruz, folks! **Who: Ted Cruz **Source: ''[[Our Cartoon President]]'' (2018-2020) *Should we tell him we stayed up last night and washed it? *[yawns] Nah. **Who: Peep and Chirp **Source: ''Peep and The Big Wide World'' (2004-2011) *''(translation)'' Phase one is complete, 807612r-B9. Commence Phase two? **Who: The Guardian **Source: ''[[Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero]]'' (2014-2017) *The president cut the strings shorter. Only one foot long! Much safer for everyone. **Who: Peg *Definitely! **Who: Cat **Source: ''Peg + Cat'' (2014-2018) *'''Yes. Yes we do.''' **Who: Phineas Flynn (original run) **Source: ''[[Phineas and Ferb]]'' (2007-2015) **Note: Revival announced for 2025. *Tila! **Who: Suki, Axel, Hazel, and Tibor **Source: ''[[Pikwik Pack]]'' (2020-2021) *Poppets away! **Who: Blooter, Patty, and Bobby **Source: ''[[Poppets Town]]'' (2008-2009) *Not just yet. My person calls. I'll see you in the morning. And I'll be on time, I promise. But I'm not skipping breakfast. Because believe me, breakfast with Dot, it's the most important meal of my day. **Who: Lucky **Source: ''[[Pound Puppies (2010 TV series)|Pound Puppies]]'' (2010-2013) *Make a run of yourselves! I'm running away! **Who: Alfe **Source: ''[[The Problem Solverz]]'' (2011-2013) *Let's go! **Who: Bingo and Rolly **Source: ''[[Puppy Dog Pals]]'' (2017-2023) *Nobody ever listens to me. **Who: Zak **Source: ''[[Rabbids Invasion]]'' (2013-2017) *I love you, Rapunzel. **Who: [[w:Flynn Rider|Eugene Fitzherbert]] **Source: ''[[Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure]]'' (2017-2020) *Attention. As you are no doubt aware, the Principal Office is now under my complete control. You're probably looking forward to one of my erudite speeches about me, Megaframe, the new viral dawn, et cetera et cetera. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to disappoint you. There is no grand scheme here. This is about revenge. Viruses are predatory by design, and it is time for me to follow my function. Prepare yourselves... for the hunt! **Who: Megabyte **Source: ''[[ReBoot]]'' (1994-2001) **Note: Ended after four seasons with no resolution. *Jolly good show. **Who: Pops Maellard **Source: ''[[Regular Show]]'' (2010-2017) *Oh, raggy!!! **Who: Stimpy **Source: ''[[The Ren & Stimpy Show]]'' (1991-1996) *Hello, Fleemco. **Who: Todd and Riley Daring *(post-credits) Thanks for having my back, bro. *Always, sis. Always. **Who: Todd and Riley Daring **Source: ''[[The Replacements (TV series)|The Replacements]]'' (2006-2009) *And we're cancelled. **Who: Dog **Source: ''[[Right Now Kapow]]'' (2016-2017) *Nine hundred bazillion bottles of root beer on the wall... / Nine hundred bazillion bottles of root beer... **Who: Heffer Wolfe **Source: ''[[Rocko's Modern Life]]'' (1993-1996) *No... Ashi... **Who: Jack **Source: ''[[Samurai Jack]]'' (2001-2004; 2017) *Yeah! **Who: Sanjay Patel, Craig Slithers, Megan Sparkles, Hector Flanagan, Ronnie Slithers, and Tuff Fist **Source: ''[[Sanjay and Craig]]'' (2013-2016) *'''I'm happy you're home too, Sofia.''' **Who: Princess Amber **Source: ''[[Sofia the First]]'' (2012-2018) *Don't apologize. I never do. **Who: Norman Osborn **Source: ''[[The Spectacular Spider-Man (TV series)|The Spectacular Spider-Man]]'' (2008-2009) *It has been a long, hard journey. And I think you are finally entitled to some happiness. *Amen to that, lady. Amen to that. **Who: Madame Web and Spider-Man **Source: ''[[Spider-Man (1994 TV series)|Spider-Man]]'' (1994-1998) *Hip-hip hooray! The Super Readers saved the day! **Who: Whyatt Beanstalk **Source: ''[[Super Why!]]'' (2007-2016) **Note: End of every episode catchphrase. *Then let's do this together. **Who: Adora/She-Ra **Source: ''[[She-Ra and the Princesses of Power]]'' (2018-2020) *We'll be sharing from now on! **Who: The Prairie Dogs **Source: ''[[Sheriff Callie's Wild West]]'' (2014-2017) *It was an accident, and accident! **Who: Eric Needles **Source: ''[[Sidekick (TV series)|Sidekick]]'' (2010-2013) *Well, there's always next season. **Who: Dr. Eggman **Source: ''[[Sonic Boom (TV series)]]'' (2014-2017) *Oh, you gotta be kidding me. Okay, team, we gotta go fast! **Who: Sonic **Source: ''[[Sonic Prime]]'' (2022-2024) *Game over butt-nik! **Who: Sonic **Source: ''[[Sonic Underground]]'' (1999) *I may have been small today, but it turned out to be the biggest day of my life. **Who: Oso **Source: ''[[Special Agent Oso]]'' (2009–2012) *It's been said before, but I'll say it again. There's no place like home. **Who: Dennis the Fish **Source: ''[[Stanley (2001 TV series)|Stanley]]'' (2001-2008) *We wait. **Who: Susie **Source: ''[[Summer Camp Island]]'' (2018-2023) **Note: Series unfortunately ended due to the beginning of the COVID-19 Pandemic, succeeded for the third season renewal announcement. *Kimmy? Uh, hello? Kimmy. Umm... Kimmy? **Who: Amber **Source: ''[[Sym-Bionic Titan]]'' (2010-2011) *Umifriend, we couldn't have done it without you. **Who: Milli **Notes: Those are the last spoken words on every episode in Season 1. *I feel a celebration coming on! **Who: Bot **Source: ''[[Team Umizoomi]]'' (2010-2015) **Notes: Those are the last spoken words on every episode (starting with the second season), the actual last line is the final verse of the Umi Shake song: "Mighty, mighty, mighty... MATH POWERS!" *And that's way Floridians... *Should never leave the state! *That's right. *Silly Pete. **Who: Crocodile Grandfather and his two grandchildren **Source: ''[[Teenage Euthanasia]]'' (2021-2023) **Note: Cancelled after two seasons. *Beast Boy to Robin: I'm on my way, over. **Who: Beast Boy **Source: ''[[Teen Titans]]'' (2003-2006) **Note: Cancelled after five seasons. * '''But I still won the race.''' ** Who: Bertie ** The classic series of Thomas & Friends was finally ended. * '''If you don't mind me saying, a Royally Useful Engine.''' ** Who: The Queen ** Source: ''[[Thomas & Friends]]'' (1984-2021) ** The modern series ultimately got cancelled due to poor toy sales; succeeded by its reboot ''All Engines Go''. *The different animals of Third Earth, working together for the first time. You know why? You, Lion-O. You gave them something to believe in. Now, there's still one more stone left. Are we gonna find it or what? **Who: WilyKit **Source: ''[[ThunderCats (2011 TV series)|ThunderCats]]'' (2011-2012) **Note: Cancelled after just one season due to declining ratings. *Eh, one orphan genius is as good as another. **Who: Sister Thornley **Source: ''[[Time Squad]]'' (2001-2003) *Okay, time page. How about some help with my math homework? **Who: Anna **Source: ''[[w:Time Warp Trio|Time Warp Trio]]'' (2005-2006) *It's really good. And Yoko likes (baby beans) burritos. She likes almond cookies too. Can you put an extra one in my lunch box tomorrow and some lettuce for Norman... **Who: Juanita **Source: ''[[Timothy Goes to School]]'' (2000-2002) *Oh, and send an ambulance, Sarge. An art lover just fainted. **Who: Dibble **Source: ''[[Top Cat]]'' (1961-1962) *You know it, Pipster. Let's flamin-go! **Who: Freddy **Source: ''T.O.T.S.'' (2018-2022) * Starring Ruby Trollman! ** Who: The BFFL ** Source: ''Trollz'' (2005-2007) *Hooray for T.U.F.F.! **Who: Dudley Puppy, Kitty Katswell, Keswick, and Chief Herbert Dumbrowski **Source: ''[[T.U.F.F. Puppy]]'' (2010-2015) *You've got an appointment alright! An appointment with '''''DOOM!!!''''' **Who: Cyril Sneer **Source: ''The Raccoons'' (1985-1991) *One more thing, how about a dance? **Who: Tut **Source: ''[[Tutenstein]]'' (2003-2008) *Suck my balls! (Thanks for watching!) **Who: Manbird **Source: ''[[Ugly Americans]]'' (2010-2012) *'''Aw, yeah!''' **Who: Uncle Grandpa, Mr. Gus, Pizza Steve, Giant Realistic Flying Tiger, Belly Bag and Frankenstein **Source: ''[[Uncle Grandpa]]'' (2013-2017) *'''The Scare B&B will always be a place for everyone, no matter how different you are. Whether you're human, monster, ghost or ghoul. Or someone who's blue with pointy teeth, like me.''' **Who: Vampirina "Vee" Hauntley * '''We love you, Vee!''' **Who: Bridget **Source: ''[[Vampirina]]'' (2017-2021) *Really, Roger? **Who: Larry the Cucumber **Source: ''[[VeggieTales]]'' (1993-2015) *Makes no difference. You've bought me enough time. **Who: Coyolxauhqui **Source: ''Victor and Valentino'' (2019–2022) *To Allura! **Who: Takashi 'Shiro' Shirogane, Keith, Lance, Katie "Pidge" Holt, and Hunk **Source: ''[[Voltron: Legendary Defender]]'' (2016-2018) **Notes: The epilogue reveals what happened to the characters of the show after honoring Allura right before the credits start. *'''Nothing ever changes.''' **Who: Sylvia and Peepers *(in-credits:) '''They'll get what's coming to them.''' **Who: Lord Dominator **Source: ''[[Wander Over Yonder]]'' (2013-2016) **Note: Cancelled after two seasons and ended on an in-credits cliffhanger despite a third season planned. *'''Oh, Todd.''' **Who: Maurecia **Source: ''[[Wayside (TV series)|Wayside]]'' (2007-2008) *'''Monsta X!''' **Who: [[wikipedia:Monsta X|Monsta X]] **Source: ''[[We Bare Bears]]'' (2015-2019) *'''Later days!''' **Who: Everyone **Source: ''[[The Weekenders]]'' (2000-2004) **Note: Catchphrase that Tino uses to end every episode. *I will never forget you, Eliza Thornberry. **Who: Shane G. **Source: ''[[The Wild Thornberrys]]'' (1998-2004) *'''Oh well, I guess I'll just have to eat it myself. Works every time.''' **Who: Gus **Source: ''[[Willa's Wild Life]]'' (2008-2010) *'''Since we’re coming clean, I always knew you were a monkey.''' **Who: Violet **Source: ''[[WordGirl]]'' (2007-2015) *Schlitweitz! **Who: David and Lisa **Source: ''[[The World of David the Gnome]]'' (1987) *Sure! Let's do it! Hey! Wait for me! And my cool tail! **Who: Wubbzy **Source: ''[[Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!]]'' (2006-2010) *Thanks for playing with us. See you next time! *Bye! *Here we go! Yo Gabba Gabba... **Who: DJ Lance (Lance Robertson) and the Gabba gang (Muno, Foofa, Brobee, Toodee, and Plex) **Source: ''[[Yo Gabba Gabba!]]'' (2007-2015) **Note: End of every episode catchphrase. It was succeeded by the revival ''Yo Gabba Gabbaland!'' in 2024. *Here we go! One, two, three, Yo Gabba Gabba! **Who: Everyone **Source: ''[[Yo Gabba Gabba!#Yo Gabba Gabbaland! 2024 revival series|Yo Gabba GabbaLand!]]'' (2024-present) **Note: End of every episode catchphrase. ===''Hazbin Hotel''=== *Adam is dead. Your deal is done and I'm in charge now. Your brat is threatening the very foundation of Heaven. And if you want to stay here, you're going down there, and stopping that bitch. You understand me...Lilith? **Who: Lute (Season 1) **Source: ''Hazbin Hotel'' (2024-present) ===''Hilda''=== *'''Odds are...she'd do it again.''' **Who: The Wood Man (Season 1) **Source: ''Hilda'' (2018-2023) *'''Where's my daughter?!''' **Who: Johanna (Season 2) **Source: ''Hilda'' (2018-2023) *'''Woo-hoo...Oof!''' **Who: Hilda **Source: ''Hilda and The Mountain King'' (2021) *'''Looks like your stop!''' **Who: Raven (Season 3) **Source: ''Hilda'' (2018-2023) ===''Amphibia''=== * '''Hold on for a little longer girls. I'm coming for you and when I find you, we're gonna get home, but first... I think we're gonna have some fun with this place.''' **Who: Sasha Waybright (Season 1A) **Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019–2022) * '''No, I'm not.''' **Who: Anne Boonchuy (Season 1B) **Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019–2022) * '''I have a proposition for you Marcy. And I think you'll find it very interesting.''' **Who: King Andras (Season 2A) **Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019–2022) **Note: Although "A Day at the Aquarium" is the mid-season finale, the mid-season finale that's a non-canon is "The Shut In" which could either be the season premiere or the mid-season finale. If the next episode was the mid-season finale, then the last line would be "Not a holiday! Definitely not a holiday!" by Anne Boonchuy. * '''Home.''' **Who: Anne Boonchuy (Season 2B) **Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019–2022) * '''I can't imagine spending the holidays without your family. I know how hard it is to be apart and not know if you'll ever see each other again. So, I'm writing to let you know that your daughter is alive. She's trapped in another world, but I promise, I'm going to bring her back home safe. Signed, a friend.''' **Who: Anne Boonchuy (Season 3A) **Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019–2022) **Note: Although, it's not technically the last line in Season 3A. The mid-season finale was supposed to be "Escape to Amphibia". That means Anne's real last line in Season 3A was supposed to be "What... happened here?". * '''Change can be difficult, but it's how we grow. It can be the hardest thing to realize you can't hold on to something forever. Sometimes, you have to let it go. But of the things you let go, you'd be surprised what makes its way back to you.''' **Who: Anne Boonchuy (Season 3B) **Source: ''Amphibia'' (2019–2022) **Note: That was the last line of the series altogether, but the last spoken lines were "THANKS, FROG LADY!!!" by the children on a field trip to the aquarium. ===''Futurama''=== *Please don’t stop playing Fry. I wanna hear how it ends. **Who: Leela **Source: ''[[Futurama]]'' (1999–2003) **Note: The end of the Fox era after five seasons and was originally intended to be the series current of the show altogether but it returned after the four straight-to-video made for TV movies and was moved in. *What do you say, you wanna go around again? *I do. **Who: Fry and Leela **Source: ''[[Futurama]]'' (2018-2013) **Note: The end of the Fox era after four seasons and was originally intended to be currently after the second run but it returned after Professor Farnsworth unfroze time, thus making "Meanwhile" a pointless current, and it moved to Fox 10 years later. **Source: ''[[Futurama]]'' (2023–present) ===''Max & Ruby''=== *Max! My summer fashion party is an even bigger hit! Thanks to you and your... **Who: Ruby *Sprinkler! **Who: Max **Source: ''[[Max & Ruby]]'' (2002-2013) *You are definitely the most surprising pair of the year. **Who 1: The Mayor *Super Bunny! **Who 2: Max **Source: ''Max & Ruby (2016 reboot)'' (2016-2021) ===''Work It Out Wombats!''=== *Huh? **Who: Malik and Zadie (Season 1, Part 1) **Source: ''Work It Out Wombats'' (2023-present) *'''''NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!''''' **Who: Mr. E (Season 1, Part 2) **Source: ''Work It Out Wombats'' (2023-present) ===''The Owl House''=== * '''Yes, consume, grow wise, avoid paper cuts.''' ** Who: Bat Queen (Season 1A) ** Source: ''[[The Owl House]]'' (2020-2023) * '''Worry not, Kiki. We will be keeping an eye on the inhabitants of "The Owl House". In the meantime, the Day of Unity is upon us, and we have much work to do.''' ** Who: Emperor Belos (Season 1B) ** Source: ''[[The Owl House]]'' (2020-2023) * '''Who dubbed you a parent?''' ** Who: Edalyn Clawthorne aka "The Owl Lady" (Season 2A) ** Source: ''[[The Owl House]]'' (2020-2023) * '''Hey, Mom. I'm back. ** Who: Luz Noceda (Season 2B) ** Source: ''[[The Owl House]]'' (2020-2023) * '''Shoot! Camila still has the car keys!''' ** Who: Vee Noceda/Number 5 Basilisk (Season 3, "Thanks To Them") ** Source: ''[[The Owl House]]'' (2020-2023) * '''I think I want to play a new game.''' ** Who: The Collector (Season 3, "For the Future") ** Source: ''[[The Owl House]]'' (2020-2023) * '''And that's how we saved the Boiling Isles. Well, as much as we could. We were so relieved to see everyone safely released from the Archives. They were spared the worst of it, at least. Because of that, everyone got to reunite with their families and loved ones. And if someone thought they had no one waiting for them, well, they were in for a nice surprise. Still, there was a lot of work to be done and not everyone was keen to change things, but we were ready to give it a shot, all of us. As for the Collector, he and I made a pinky promise to keep trying our best. He said he had a lot of growing up to do, so he decided to return to the stars. No one argued, but I think I heard King whisper, "I hope I see you again." We got our happy ending, but I realized something in that moment. When the Titan had finally passed on, so did the powers of the glyphs. I had learned the Titan's language, but now I had no one to speak it to. It had helped me find my place when I had no other way. In my heart, I'll never forget it. A whole chapter of my life was over, but a new one was just beginning.''' ** Who: Luz Noceda (Rerun version) (Season 3, Watching and Dreaming) ** Source: ''[[The Owl House]]'' (2020-2023) * '''Welcome to the Boiling Isles! Watch your step!''' ** Who: The Collector (original airing and digital versions) (Season 3, Watching and Dreaming) ** Source: ''[[The Owl House]]'' (2020-2023) * (post-credits:) '''Eda, King? Thank you for everything.''' * '''Right back at you, kid.''' * '''Weirdos?''' * '''Weirdos.''' * '''Weirdos.''' * '''They're nearly gone! Okay everyone, on the count of three. One, two, three!''' * '''BYE!!!''' ** Who: Luz, Vee and Camila Noceda, Edalyn, Lilith and King Clawthorne, The Hexsquad, The Banshees and Everyone on the Boiling Isles (Season 3, "Watching and Dreaming") ** Source: ''[[The Owl House]]'' (2020-2023) ===''My Little Pony''=== ====''My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic''==== *'''In fact, it’s made it...''' *'''...the best night ever!''' **Who: Mane Six and Spike (Season 1) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) *'''Oh, yeah? Just wait until you see what I have planned for the bachelor party!''' **Who: Spike (Season 2) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) *'''Yes! Everything's gonna be just fine!''' **Who: Twilight Sparkle (Season 3) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) *'''Yes, well, I suppose not.''' **Who: Discord (Season 4) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) *'''Wonder what she's dreaming about now.''' **Who: Spike (Season 5A) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) *'''Starting is easy. All you have to do is make a friend; and you've got ''seven'' of them right here.''' **Who: Twilight Sparkle (Season 5B) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) *'''Friendship lessons can happen...anywhere.''' **Who: Starlight Glimmer (Season 6A) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) *'''Somepony is really gonna have to catch us up on what we missed.''' **Who: Rainbow Dash (Season 6B) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) *'''Seriously, this is heavy.''' **Who: Pinkie Pie (Season 7A) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) *'''It's funny. I thought meeting my idol would give me all the answers I ever wanted. But instead, I forgot what I already knew. Good thing I had a student of my own to remind me.''' **Who: Twilight Sparkle (Season 7B) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) *'''You know, if we can survive a day like this, I think our friendship is strong enough to handle anything the world can throw at us.''' **Who: Twilight Sparkle (Season 8A) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) *'''Hey, neighbor. Wanna be friends?''' **Who: Cozy Glow (Season 8B) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) *'''Nicely done.''' **Who: Princess Celestia (Season 9A) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) *'''That's all right, because I know exactly where to send you.''' **Who: Future Twilight Sparkle (Season 9B) **Source: ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic]]'' (2010-2019) ====Misc.==== * I don't either! ** Who: Rainbow Dash ** Source: ''My Little Pony: Pony Life'' (2020-2021) ** Note: Cancelled after one season, despite a cliffhanger ending. It was succeeded by the 2021 film, ''My Little Pony: A New Generation''. * I'm so grateful for everything we've shared over the years. My memories of all of you are so special, I can't wait to start making more. **Who: Twilight Sparkle ** Source: ''My Little Pony: Friendship is Forever'' (2020) ===''Bluey''=== * Oh yeah? Why's that? **Who 1: Chilli Heeler (Series 1, Part 1) *Um...I don't know, I just do. But this is nice too though. **Who 2: Bluey Christine Heeler (Series 1, Part 1) **Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present) *Bye, everyone! I've got to go home now! **Who: Bluey Christine Heeler (Series 1, Part 2) **Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present) *Who was Muffin? **Who 1: Bluey Christine Heeler (Series 2, Part 1A) *Ballerina! **Who 2: Socks Heeler (Series 2, Part 1A) **Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present) *Remember I'll always be here for you, even if you can't see me. Because I love you. **Who: Chilli Heeler (Series 2, Part 1B) **Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present) *Maybe you just saw something you wanted. **Who: Bingo Heeler (Series 2, Part 2) **Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present) *Yeah. See you later. **Who: Young Bandit Heeler (Series 3, Part 1) **Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present) *Yes...yes...you got it! Woo hoo!!! **Who 1: Bandit Heeler, Chilli Heeler, Pat, and Janelle (Series 3, Part 2) *Come here, Chucky! **Who 2: Pat and Janelle (Series 3, Part 2) **Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present) *You're not coming, are you? **Who: Chilli Heeler (Series 2, Part 3A) **Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present) *That's lucky. **Who: Bingo Heeler (Series 3, Part 3B) **Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present) *Once upon a time, there was a farmer who owned a horse called Midnight. But one day, Midnight ran away. The farmer's neighbors came by and said "that's bad luck". But the farmer said... **Who: Bluey Christine Heeler (Series 3, Part 4) **Source: ''Bluey'' (2018-present) ===''Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur''=== *'''We're gonna get her back.''' **Who: Mimi (Season 1) * ''(post-credits)'' '''Where am I?''' **Who: Lunella Lafayette/Moon Girl (Season 1) **Source: ''Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur'' (2023-2025) *'''But you are my daughter, and you are NEVER doing this again!''' **Who: Adria Lafayette (Season 2A) **Source: ''Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur'' (2023-2025) *'''You go, Moon Girl!''' **Who: The Beyonder (Season 2B) **Source: ''Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur'' (2023-2025) ===''The Cuphead Show!''=== *Whoa! **Who: Cuphead, Mugman **Source: ''The Cuphead Show!'' (Season 1, 2022) *Mugman...? **Who: Cuphead **Source: ''The Cuphead Show!'' (Season 2, 2022) *CUPHEAD...!!! **Who: Mugman and Ms. Chalice **Source: ''The Cuphead Show!'' (Season 3, 2022) ===''The Proud Family''=== * ''WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH?'' '''''WHY...?!?!!''' **Who: Oscar Proud **Source: ''The Proud Family'' (2001-2005) *Come on, Puff! **Who: Suga Mama (Season 1) **Source: ''The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder'' (2022-present) *Oh man! I gotta find another non-paying job! **Who: Penny Proud (Season 2) **Source: ''The Proud Family: Louder and Prouder'' (2022-present) === ''Elliott from Earth'' === *Oh. Was that meant to happen? **Who: 105E **Source: ''[[Elliott from Earth]]'', Diminishing Discourse (2021) **Notes: Cancelled after only sixteen episodes. ===''The Powerpuff Girls''=== *Oh, how do you know? **Who: Mojo Jojo *So once again, the day is saved. Thanks to The Powerpuff Girls...and the contaminated banana cream pie. **Who: Narrator **Source: ''[[The Powerpuff Girls]]'' (1998-2005) *Hoc-guy? **Who: The Professor **Source: ''[[The Powerpuff Girls (2016 TV series)|The Powerpuff Girls]]'' (2016-2019) ===''PB&J Otter''=== *Happy Hoohaw Halloween everyone! **Who: Peanut and Jelly Otter *Happy Hoohaw Halloween! **Who: Everyone **Source: ''[[PB&J Otter]]'' (1998-2000) **Note: Cancelled after three seasons. ===''Cat Burglar''=== * But I... **Who: Rowdy (Bad Ending) **Source: ''Cat Burglar'' (2022) * What can I say? I'm a non-existential cartoon cat! **Who: Rowdy (Good Ending) **Source: ''Cat Burglar'' (2022) ===''Big City Greens''=== *'''One step ahead of you.''' **Who: Remy Remington (Season 1A) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) *'''Whaaaaa?!''' **Who: Remy Remington (Season 1B) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) **Note: Quote from "Phoenix Rises" which is the actual mid-season finale. But, "Forbidden Feline" is probably the mid-season finale as it counts as a holiday special, despite it being the 37th episode in chronological order. So, the last line could be "Look, I'm sorry I abandoned you earlier, but if you're gonna fancy me up, AT LEAST LET ME PICK THE DRESS!!!!" by Cricket Green. Or if you count "Uncaged" as part 2 of the mid-season finale, then the last line would be "Never." by Nancy Green. *'''Ugh, fine.''' **Who: Cricket Green (Season 1C) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) *'''Drinks on me!''' **Who: Andromeda (Season 2A part 1) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) *'''OH MY GOSH, WHAT HAPPENED?!''' **Who: Bill Green (Season 2A part 2) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) *'''And yet, it just...''did.''''' **Who: Tilly Green (Season 2B) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) **Notes: Quote from "Chipwrecked", which is the actual mid-season finale. But, if you count "Chip-ocalyspe Now" as part 2 of the mid-season finale, then the last line would be "Uh, I think so." by Bill Green. *'''Good TV.''' **Who: Tilly Green (Season 2C part 1) **Who: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) *'''No, it's Gloria ''Plus'' Green. My name isn't -- oh, forget it.''' **Who: Gloria Sato (Season 2C part 2) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) *'''I'M INNOCENT I SWEAR!!! Ah, forget it. I'll see myself to my room.''' **Who: Cricket Green (Season 3A part 1) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) *'''I just had the craziest idea...''' **Who: Bill Green (Season 3A part 2) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) **Notes: Quote from "Dirt Jar", which is the actual mid-season finale. But, if you count "The Move" as part 2 of the mid-season finale, the last line would be "Darn right, we will. Even if today was a little bumpy, it sure is great to be home." by Cricket Green. *'''Don't push it, Papa.''' **Who: Tilly Green (Season 3B part 1) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) **Note: Quote from "Horse Girl" which ended part 1 of Season 3B. But, if you count "Virtually Christmas" as the end of part 1 of Season 3B, then the last line would be Bill yelling "CRICKET!!!". *'''The Greens. It was the Greens. And their troubles are just beginning.''' **Who: Chip Whistler (Season 3B part 2) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) *'''Oh, completely separate incident with a rat.''' **Who: Chip Whistler (Season 4A part 1) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) *'''I get you. Come here, normal family!''' **Who: Bill Green (Season 4A part 2) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) **Note: Last episode to premiere before ''[[Big City Greens the Movie: Spacecation]]''. *'''Read the room, Gloria.''' **Who: Cricket Green (Season 4B part 1) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) *'''Hey, Babe, can you hold this? I need my arms free.''' *'''Sure.''' **Who: Chip Whistler and Babe (Season 4B part 2) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) *'''Nance, you're crushin' me!''' **Who: Bill Green (Season 4C) *(in-credits:) '''Okay, boys... nice smiles!''' **Who: Nancy Green (Season 4C) **Source: ''[[Big City Greens]]'' (2018-present) ===''The Ghost and Molly McGee''=== * Ooh! **Who: Molly McGee (Season 1) **Source: ''[[The Ghost and Molly McGee]]'' (2021-2024) * Aww, Scratch would have wanted that too. **Who: Molly McGee (Season 2) **Source: ''[[The Ghost and Molly McGee]]'' (2021-2024) ===''Gravity Falls''=== * '''That's good.''' ** Who: Gideon Gleeful (Season 1A) * (in-credits) '''Cross this town off our list.''' ** Who: Winninghouse Coupon Saver (Season 1A) ** Source: ''[[Gravity Falls]]'' (2012-2016) ** Note: Although, "Little Dipper" is the mid-season finale of Season 1, the next episode is technically the mid-season finale because it was the last episode of 2012 before it entered a three month hiatus, even though it’s a Halloween special. If "Summerween" was the mid-season finale, then the last line would be "I ate a man alive tonight." by Soos Ramirez. * '''Here we go.''' ** Who: Stanley Pines (Season 1B) ** Source: ''[[Gravity Falls]]'' (2012-2016) ** Note: This is the last spoken line of the season, but in its first broadcast of this episode, the last line was "Gravity Falls will return." also by Stanley Pines. * '''I am so on it, dude.''' ** Who: Soos Ramirez (Season 2A) ** Source: ''[[Gravity Falls]]'' (2012-2016) * '''If you've ever taken a road trip through the pacific northwest, you've probably seen a bumper sticker for a place called "Gravity Falls". It's not on any maps, and most people have never heard of it, some people think it's a myth. But if you're curious, don't wait. Take a trip. Find it. It's out there, somewhere in the woods. Waiting.''' ** Who: Dipper Pines (Season 2B) ** Source: ''[[Gravity Falls]]'' (2012–2016) ** Note: This is the last line of the series altogether, but the last spoken line was "Well, I'm moved in!" by Fiddleford Hadron McGucket. ===''DuckTales''=== * '''Me wallet! Stop that thief! Don't let that sneak get away! Dijon!''' ** Who: Scrooge McDuck ** Source: ''[[DuckTales (1987 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (1987-1990) * '''Plenty more adventures where that came from, eh, lad? Now, where in blazes is that cocoa stand? I am freezing!''' ** Who: Scrooge McDuck (Season 1A) ** Source: ''[[DuckTales (2017 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (2017-2021) * '''Boys?!''' ** Who: Della Duck (Season 1B) ** Source: ''[[DuckTales (2017 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (2017-2021) * '''I'm home.''' ** Who: Della Duck (Season 2A) ** Source: ''[[DuckTales (2017 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (2017-2021) * '''This has gone too far. The ducks almost cost us a world today, and without the world, who would we larceny against? The pieces are finally in piece. Time to come out of the shadows, take control, and end Clan McDuck. If the McDuck family wants an adventure, we'll give them their last.''' ** Who: Chairman Bradford Buzzard/FOWL Agent (Season 2B) ** Source: ''[[DuckTales (2017 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (2017-2021) * '''Woo-hoo!''' ** Who: Huey, Dewey, Louie, and Webby (Season 3A) ** Source: ''[[DuckTales (2017 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (2017-2021) * '''Alright. That was close, Launchpad. Phew, almost ruined the tender family moment.''' ** Who: Launchpad McQuack (Season 3B) ** Source: ''[[DuckTales (2017 TV series)|DuckTales]]'' (2017-2021) ===''Animaniacs''=== * '''It actually doesn't stink!''' ** Who: [[w:Yakko, Wakko, and Dot|Wakko Warner]] * (post-credits:) '''Goodbye, nurse!''' ** Who: [[w:Yakko, Wakko, and Dot|Yakko, Wakko, and Dot]] ** Source: ''[[Animaniacs]]'' (1993-1998) * '''I am not a refrigerator!''' ** Who: [[w:List_of_Animaniacs_characters#Pinky and the Brain|The Brain (Brain2-Me2)]] ** Source: ''[[Pinky and the Brain]]'' (1995-1998) * '''I'm Underwear Head!''' ** Who: [[w:List_of_Tiny_Toon_Adventures_characters#Elmyra Duff|Elmyra Duff]] * '''They're Pinky, the Brain, and Underwear Head-head-head-head-head.''' ** Who: Off-screen vocals ** Source: ''[[Pinky, Elmyra & the Brain]]'' (1998-1999) * '''And the moral of our story is...''' ** Who: Yakko Warner ** Source: ''[[Wakko's Wish]]'' (1999) * '''Well, that's why the right man for the job is always a woman.''' ''[winks]'' ** Who: Dot Warner (Season 1) ** Source: ''[[Animaniacs (2020 TV series)]]'' (2020-2023) * '''This time, I wonder if we'll dream.''' ** Who: Wakko Warner (Season 2) ** Source: ''[[Animaniacs (2020 TV series)]]'' (2020-2023) * '''Ooh, I know! What about-''' ''[but the meteor explodes]'' ** Who: Wakko Warner (Season 3) ** Source: ''[[Animaniacs (2020 TV series)]]'' (2020-2023) ===''Star vs. the Forces of Evil''=== * '''No problem, your highness. I hope you found all the pieces to the wand.''' ** Who: Glossaryck (Season 1) ** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019) * '''I'm not a malady.''' ** Who: Ludo (Season 2A) ** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019) * '''Star! Hey! What do you mean--?''' ''[gasps]'' '''Star...?''' ** Who: Marco Diaz (Season 2B) ** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019) * '''My name is Metora.''' ** Who: Ms. Heinous/Metora Butterfly (Season 3A) ** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019) * '''Hello, my love. We're home.''' ** Who: Eclipsa Butterfly (Season 3B) ** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019) * '''So, Queen, I know a lot just happened, but it's still your coronation. Shall we make this thing official?''' ** Who: Principal Ruberiot (Season 4A) ** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019) * '''Hey.''' * '''Hi.''' ** Who: Marco Diaz and Star Butterfly (Season 4B) ** Source: ''[[Star vs. the Forces of Evil]]'' (2015-2019) ===''Elinor Wonders Why''=== *Hello, baby tree! **Who: Olive Elephant (Season 1A) **Source: ''Elinor Wonders Why'' (2020-2023) *Yes! We need more observations! Salta, ranita, salta! ''[giggles]'' **Who: Elinor Rabbit (Season 1B) **Source: ''Elinor Wonders Why'' (2020-2023) ===''Ben 10''=== *And for Ben Tennyson, who didn't want the summer to end, he would come to realize that going back to school was merely another beginning. **Who: Narrator **Source: ''[[Ben 10 (2005 TV series)|Ben 10]]'' (2005-2008) **Notes: The final episode of the original series, ''Goodbye and Good Riddance'', was retconned as non-canon in the sequel series. *If he ever does, it's hero time! **Who: Ben Tennyson **Source: ''[[Ben 10: Alien Force]]'' (2008-2010) *Two is plenty. **Who: Doyle Blackwell **Source: ''[[The Secret Saturdays]]'' (2008-2010) *Perhaps for your eighteenth birthday. **Who: Azmuth **Source: ''[[Ben 10: Ultimate Alien]]'' (2010-2012) *Gwen? Okay, fine, Gwen''dolyn'', you and Kevin pack your bags, we're going on a road trip! **Who: Ben Tennyson **Source: ''[[Ben 10: Omniverse]]'' (2012-2014) *You know what that means, kiddos? Team Tennyson is back in business! **Who: Grandpa Max Tennyson **Source: ''[[Ben 10 (2017 TV series)|Ben 10]]'' (2017-2021) ===''The Berenstain Bears''=== *What about my kumquats? Oh, I love those kumquats. **Who: Weasel McGreed **Source: ''[[The Berenstain Bears (1985 TV series)|The Berenstain Bears]]'' (1985-1986) *Anytime. Your tool belt will be right here waiting. **Who: Papa Q. Bear **Source: ''[[The Berenstain Bears (2003 TV series)|The Berenstain Bears]]'' (2003-2004) ===''Cow and Chicken''=== *Yeah! hold it, It was brilliant! Bravo! Get up, my little crab friends. Ow! oh, oh. Ow! oh, oh. Ha, ha, ha, ha! Easy with the pinchers. Ow! ow! oh. I did not have to bring you guys tonight! Looks like Red Guy always gets in the END! Ha, ha, ha, ha! **Who: Red Guy **Source: ''[[Cow and Chicken]]'' (1997-1999) *It was Baboon all along and not me that everyone was watching. I am not a legend, I am a tool. Well, I guess it's dummies won, smart guys zero. **Who: I.M Weasel **Source: ''[[I Am Weasel]]'' (1997-2000) ===DC animated universe=== *It's okay, there'll be another time. **Who: Batgirl **Source: ''[[Batman: The Animated Series]]'' (1992-1995) *One person at a time. **Who: Lois Lane **Source: ''[[Superman: The Animated Series]]'' (1996-2000) *Guilty... guilty... guilty... **Who: Two-Face **Source: ''[[The New Batman Adventures]]'' (1997-1999) *I'm coming. **Who: Miguel Diaz **Source: ''[[Batman Beyond]]'' (1999–2001) *Yeah, they can't get rid of ''us'' that easily. **Who: Static **Source: ''[[Static Shock]]'' (2000-2004) *Don't worry, Zee, we'll find a way. **Who: Ro Rowan **Source: ''[[The Zeta Project]]'' (2001-2002) *I love you, too. **Who: [[w:John Stewart (character)|Green Lantern]] **Source: ''[[Justice League]]'' (2001-2004) *And the adventure continues. **Who: Wonder Woman **Source: ''[[Justice League|Justice League Unlimited]]'' (2004-2006) ===DIC ''Mario'' Cartoons=== *Y'know, dearie, I've enjoyed your visit, but do me one favor: Next time, let me come and visit you! **Who: Grandma Toadstool **Source: ''[[The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!]]'' (1989) *Yeah, but we couldn't have done it without our Toad! **Who: Mario **Source: ''[[The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3]]'' (1990) *Good night. Mama Luigi. **Who: Yoshi **Source: ''[[Super Mario World (TV series)|Super Mario World]]'' (1991) ===''Digimon''=== *Our adventure in the Digital World might be over for now, but that gate won't stay closed forever. I have a feeling that this won't be the last time we see our pals, the Digimon! You wait and see. One day, that portal will open up again and we'll return to the Digital World! I wonder if Agumon will remember me? I know I'll never forget him, or the rest of the Digimon! None of us will! **Who: Tai Kamiya **Source: ''Digimon Adventure'' (1999–2000) *So, you can see we're still having adventures. They're just a little different from the ones we used to have when we were kids. The darkness has not been conquered, and it will continue to fight against the light forever, but as long as people remember to follow their dreams, evil will be kept at bay. And on days like today, it's hard to see any darkness anywhere. Now it's up to our children, and to children everywhere, to follow their dreams. Who knows where they'll end up, but the only way to find out is to take that first step into adventure. **Who: T.K. Takashi **Source: ''Digimon Adventure 02'' (2000-2001) *Even though I thought I would never be the same, the world soon went back to normal and after a while so did I. Life became exactly as it was before I met Guilmon. Kazu still made bad jokes and Miss Nami still gave too much homework. Sometimes I go by our old hangouts just to see if he's there. Don't know why I bother, 'cause he's never there. Most times I'm OK but there's this one thing that bugs me: a promise I made to a friend—a promise I don't think I can keep. (beat) Actually, scratch that. I think I'm going to keep that promise after all. **Who: Takato Matsuki **Source: ''Digimon Tamers'' (2001-2002) *Takuya: But even if I spent time with my family... *Zoe & J.P.: ...or other friends... *Koji & Koichi: ...or with our family... *Tommy: ...or just hanging around not crying... *Takuya: ...I'll be best friends with you guys! *All: Forever! **Who: The Digidestined **Source: ''Digimon Frontier'' (2002-2003) ===''Dora the Explorer''=== *'''We couldn't have done it without you, thanks for helping!''' **Who: Dora Márquez **Source: ''[[Dora the Explorer]]'' (2000-2019) **Note: End of every episode catchphrase from Seasons 1-2. *'''Gracias!''' **Who: Dora Márquez **Source: ''[[Dora the Explorer]]'' (2000-2019) **Note: End of every episode catchphrase from Season 3-8. *Adios, amigos! See you soon! **Who: Dora Márquez, Emma, Kate, Naiya, and Alana **Source: ''Dora and Friends: Into the City!'' (2014-2016) **Note: End of every episode catchphrase. *'''Hasta luego, amigos!''' *'''See you soon!''' **Who: Diego and Alicia Márquez **Source: ''[[Go, Diego, Go!]]'' (2005-2011) **Note: End of every episode catchphrase. ===''Doug''=== *Dad was right. It was the most amazing thing we'd ever seen. And he was right about something else, too. It really did bring our family closer than we'd ever been before. **Who: Douglas "Doug" Yancey Funnie **Source: ''[[Doug (TV series)|Doug]]'' (Nickelodeon series) (1991-1994) *So long, everybody. It's been fun. Your friend forever, Doug! **Who: Douglas "Doug" Yancey Funnie **Source: ''[[Doug (TV series)|Disney's Doug]]'' (1996-1999) **Note: Revival in development. ===''Dragon Ball''=== *For the continued adventures of Goku and his friends, be sure to watch '''[[w:Dragon Ball Z|Dragon Ball Z]]'''! **Who: Narrator **Source: ''Dragon Ball'' (1986-1989) *Young Uub has been taken in by the greatest warrior on the planet--Goku, the orphan who fell from the stars to become the savior of mankind. One thing is certain: as long as Goku lives, peace AND prosperity will reign. **Who: Narrator **Source: ''Dragon Ball Z'' (1989–1996) *And now we end the story of the Dragon Balls with the hope that the Earth will never again see the kind of darkness that brought it close to extinction so many times. But if that day comes, there is one who will step out of the shadows and fight in the name of all that is good and true! *Til we meet again, guys! **Who: Narrator and Goku **Source: ''Dragon Ball GT'' (1996-1997) *Goku, please come home. **Who: Narrator **Source: ''Dragon Ball Z Kai'' (2010-2018) *This is the journey that will never end. The struggle to push beyond all limits and we define the meaning of power new and mightier foes will arise, new adventures will begin and Goku and his fellow warriors will be ready. Until then, we bid you farewell! **Who: Narrator **Source: ''Dragon Ball Super'' (2017-2019) ===''Fancy Nancy''=== *We here at the School De Fancy now sees that everyone has their own way of being fancy. And as long as it makes you happy...we think it's magnifique! **Who: Nancy Clancy (Season 1) **Source: ''Fancy Nancy'' (2018-2022) *It sure feels magnifique to be home! **Who: Nancy Clancy (Season 2) **Source: ''Fancy Nancy'' (2018-2022) *It's…magic. And the only thing more magical than Paris is famille. That's French for family. **Who: Nancy Clancy (Season 3) **Source: ''Fancy Nancy'' (2018-2022) ===''Infinity Train''=== *I'm ready for anything. **Who: Tulip Olsen (Season 1) **Source: ''[[Infinity Train]]'' (2019–2021) *I wanted to be cool one time, just once. Nerd. **Who: Jesse Cosay (Season 2) **Source: ''[[Infinity Train]]'' (2019–2021) *Guess we'll have to figure it out. **Who: Grace Monroe (Season 3) **Source: ''[[Infinity Train]]'' (2019–2021) *We're... *We're working on it. **Who: Min-Gi Park and Ryan Akagi (Season 4) **Source: ''[[Infinity Train]]'' (2019–2021) ===''Inspector Gadget''=== *I'll get you next time, Gadget! Just you wait! **Who: Dr. Claw **Source: ''[[Inspector Gadget]]'' (1982-1986) *Next time, Gadget! Next time! **Who: Dr. Claw **Source: ''Inspector Gadget'' (2015-2018) ===''Soul Eater''=== *It'll be okay. When it does come, we'll be there. Besides, there's a lot more of people more than evil thoughts and bad deeds. There's bravery. Everybody has that. right in there. **Who: Maka Albarn **Source: ''[[Soul Eater|Soul Eater]] (2008-2009) ===''SpongeBob SquarePants''=== * '''Watch out.''' **Who: Barnacle Boy (season 1) (production and broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) * '''Awwww...!!''' **Who: Mr. Krabs (season 2) (production and broadcast) * '''We should have bought the whoopie cushion!''' [groans] **Who: SpongeBob SquarePants (season 3) (production and broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) **Note: Originally intended to be cancelled after three seasons and after the first movie, but was renewed for Season 4. However, the first movie is still considered as the series finale to the show all together. * '''Wow! This is the best Best Friends Day ever!''' **Who: Patrick Star (season 4) (production) * '''Hey, Get back here. You little booger!''' **Who: Mr. Krabs (season 4) (broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) * '''Sorry, boss.''' **Who: Stanley S. SquarePants (season 5) (production) * '''Looks like I'm back in Bikini Bottom forever!''' **Who: SpongeBob SquarePants (season 5) (broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) * '''Yeah I think right now might be the best time.''' **Who: SpongeBob SquarePants (season 6) (broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) *'''Plankton, What have you done to my daughter? You made her cry! You know, she could been with an ATM! Someone with money, But she chose you! I don't know why!''' **Who: E.M.I.L.P. (season 6) (production) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) * '''Aw, I knew Plankton was hatching an evil plan the whole time. So I just adjusted the controls to put Plankton where he can't do any harm. Nobody fools a squirrel from Texas!''' ''[Laughs which turns into evil laughter]'' **Who: Sandy Cheeks (season 7) (production) * '''Well, it's like I told you before boy, there ain't no such thing as witches, or curses, or magical beings, or...''' **Who: Mr. Krabs (season 7) (broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) * '''Oh, sorry, sir. I just sold it a minute ago. But we do have this slightly used Taco Stand for sale.''' **Who: Pawn Shop Owner (season 8) (production) * '''I think stealing a mail truck definitely counts as naughty. Wouldn't you say, Potty? Ho ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!''' *'''I sure would, Santa. [laughs] Merry Christmas!''' **Who: Santa Claus and Potty the Parrot (season 8) (broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) *Huh? Why are you Laughing? **Who: Old Man Walker (season 9A) (production) *See Patrick, bubbles are the answers to everything. **Who: SpongeBob SquarePants (season 9A) (broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) *NO! **Who: Squidward Tentacles (season 9B) (production) *Great! Now, GET TO WORK!!! **Who: Mr. Krabs (season 9B) (broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) *Oh, he'll be fine. **Who: Patrick Star (season 10) (production and broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) * You have a thing on your thing. **Who: Patrick Star (season 11) (production) * You're a menace! **Who: Santa Claus (season 11) (broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) * Goodnight. Eat tight. "Eat tight." [Laughs then snores] **Who: SpongeBob SquarePants (season 12) (production) * Here we go again! **Who: SpongeBob SquarePants (season 12) (broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) *Well, I still am a little mad. **Who: Sheldon J. Plankton (season 13A) (production and broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) *Sandy, help us! **Who: Townsfolk (season 13B) (production and broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) *You'll come back now, you hear? **Who: French Narrator (season 14) (production and broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) *Best fan club ever! **Who: SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidina (season 15) (production and broadcast) **Source: ''[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]'' (1999–present) * Best Plank Day Ever! **Who: Young Patrick Star (season 1) **Source: [[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years]] (2021-2024) * This was fun! **Who: Elwood (season 2) **Source: ''[[Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years]]'' (2021-2024) * Hey, nice bathroom! I call the top bunk! **Who: GrandPat Star (season 1) **Source: ''[[The Patrick Star Show]]'' (2021-present) *I just love my fabulous, filthy family. **Who: Bunny Star (season 2) **Source: ''[[The Patrick Star Show]]'' (2021-present) *Yes, Mom, I love shopping. **Who: Patrick Star (season 3)(broadcast) **Source: ''[[The Patrick Star Show]]'' (2021-present) *Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! **Who: Santa Claus (season 3) (production) **Source: ''[[The Patrick Star Show]]'' (2021-present) *This really was the best slumber party ever. **Who: Squidina Star (season 4)(broadcast) **Source: ''[[The Patrick Star Show]]'' (2021-present) *The End. **Who: The Flying Dutchman (season 4) (production) **Source: ''[[The Patrick Star Show]]'' (2021-present) ===''The Lion King''=== *'''Oy.''' **Who: [[w:Timon and Pumbaa|Timon]] **Source: ''Timon & Pumbaa'' (1995-1999) *'''Yes, I am.''' **Who: [[w:The Lion Guard|Kion]] **Source: ''[[The Lion Guard]]'' (2015-2019) ===''The Loud House''=== *'''Dang it!''' **Who: Loud family (Season 1, production) **Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present) *'''Wait, what just happened?''' **Who: Lincoln Loud (Season 1, broadcast) **Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present) *'''Looks like we're getting the hang of not being so overprotective, huh, Howie? Howie? I'll get the smelling salts.''' **Who: Harold McBride (Season 2, production and broadcast) **Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present) *'''Ooh, I got one: hamburgers.''' **Who: Leni Loud (Season 3, production) **Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present) *'''Actually, that was an 18th century Japanese parasol, but no problem.''' **Who: Clyde McBride (Season 3, broadcast) **Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present) *'''It's just till the end of the summer.''' **Who: Lori Loud (Season 4, production and broadcast) **Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present) *'''You got it! All right, everybody. Back to class, or it's a week's detention!''' **Who: Rusty Spokes (Season 5, production) **Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present) *'''Oh, no. Chamomile.''' **Who: Lincoln Loud and Clyde McBride (Season 5, broadcast) **Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present) *'''Oh. Our own personal mud masks! Nature is classier than I thought.''' **Who: Lola Loud (Season 6, production and broadcast) **Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present) *'''Liam! I found your retainer!''' **Who: Rusty Spokes (Season 7, production and broadcast) **Source: ''[[The Loud House]]'' (2016-present) *'''Ronnie Anne! That's my line!''' **Who: Carlino Casagrande (Season 1) **Source: ''[[The Casagrandes]]'' (2019–2022) *'''Thank you, Mr. President.''' **Who: Ronnie Anne Santiago (Season 2) **Source: ''[[The Casagrandes]]'' (2019–2022) *'''Sweet dreams, mijo.''' **Who: Rosa Casagrande (Season 3) **Source: ''[[The Casagrandes]]'' (2019–2022) ===''Madagascar''=== *'''Even the problem, not our jurisdiction.''' **Who: [[w:List_of_Madagascar_(franchise)_characters#Skipper|Skipper]] **Source: ''[[The Penguins of Madagascar]]'' (2008-2015) *'''Where are we?''' **Who: [[w:List_of_Madagascar_(franchise)_characters#Alex|Alex]] **Source: ''All Hail King Julien'' (2014-2017) ===''The Garfield Show''=== *GARFIEEEEEEELLLLLDDD!!!!!!! **Who: Nermal ===''Marvel Animation Universe''=== *I made the show. Hulk Out. Bam, I said it. Hulk Out. **Who: A-Bomb **Source: ''Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.'' (2013-2015) *So, I guess this is it. But there's no need to get all sappy. I thought once I became the Ultimate Spider-Man, that would mean my work was done. But far from it. This isn't the end, this is only the beginning. **Who: Spider-Man **Source: ''[[Ultimate Spider-Man (TV series)|Ultimate Spider-Man]]'' (2012–2017) ===Marvel Cinematic Universe animated shows=== *It is the mission that is important, Kuda, not the story that is told about it. I just wish I could see this future we fought for. Or at least, know how long it will take to come to pass. **Who: Tafari **Source: ''[[Eyes of Wakanda]]'' (2025) *Kamala? Are you good? **Who: Kate Bishop (illusion) **Source: ''[[Marvel Zombies (miniseries)|Marvel Zombies]]'' *With some mysteries, sometimes the only answer is another question. You see... Time. Space. Reality. It's more than a linear path. It's a prism of endless possibility, where a single choice can branch off into infinite realities, creating new phenomena beyond what you could possibly imagine. I am Uatu. I see all of these vast new realities. Open your eyes, dare to face the unknown and ponder the question... What if? **Who: Uatu the Watcher **Source: ''[[What If...?]]'' (2021-2024) ===''Pandalian''=== *TBA (Coming Soon!) ===''Green Eggs and Ham''=== *'''That's why we should get going!''' **Who: Sam-I-Am (Season 1) **Source: ''Green Eggs and Ham'' (2019–2022) *'''Yes! She loves it! Now that is good news.''' **Who: Sam-I-Am (Season 2) **Source: ''Green Eggs and Ham'' (2019–2022) ===''Rugrats''=== *'''Happy Birthday, Kimi!''' **Who: Chuckie Finster **Source: ''[[Rugrats]]'' (1991-2004) *'''"Gotcha"!?''' **Who: Tommy Pickles **Source: ''[[All Grown Up!]]'' (2003-2008) *'''Well look, class! Our friend Mr. Sun has come to say hello! Isn't it wonderful? And we're all back to our happy happy happy selves!''' **Who: Miss Weemer **Source: ''Rugrats Pre-School Daze'' (2008) ===''Steven Universe''=== *Yes, please! **Who: Pearl **Source: ''[[Steven Universe]]'' (2013-2019) *Bye! **Who: Pearl **Source: ''[[Steven Universe Future]]'' (2019–2020) ===''Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles''=== *Except Donatello's cooking. **Who: [[w:Raphael (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Raphael]] **Source: ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987 TV series)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' (1987-1996) *Yeah! Ha-ha-ha! **Who: [[w:Michelangelo (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Michelangelo]] **Source: ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2003 TV series)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' (2003-2009) *We are home. **Who: [[w:Raphael (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Raphael]] **Source: ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012 TV series)|Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' (2012-2017) *Wait, what? **Who: [[w:Leonardo (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)|Leonardo]] **Source: ''[[Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]]'' (2018-2020) ===''Tiny Toon Adventures''=== *Season's Greetings! **Who: [[w:List_of_Tiny_Toon_Adventures_characters#Gogo Dodo|Gogo Dodo]] **Source: ''[[Tiny Toon Adventures]]'' (1990-1992) *Parting is such sweet sorrow. **Who: [[w:List_of_Tiny_Toon_Adventures_characters#Plucky Duck|Plucky Duck]] **Source: ''[[The Plucky Duck Show]]'' (1992) *Good! Now I can finally have the non-scary Halloween I wanted. Pumpkin spice latte, anyone? **Who: [[w:List_of_Tiny_Toon_Adventures_characters#Babs Bunny|Babs Bunny]] **Source: ''[[Tiny Toons Looniversity]]'' (2023-2025) ===''Total Drama''=== *At least things can only go up from here. [sighs] Of course. **Who: Dave **Source: ''[[Total Drama]]'' (2007-2014) * Yes. Throw all your money on the ground. Very smart. That's all for now, we hope we enjoyed our incredible race around the world. Be sure to keep an eye out for more of ''The Ridonculous Race''. **Who: Don **Source: ''[[Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race]]'' (2015) * Worst ending ever. **Who: Courtney **Source: ''[[Total DramaRama]]'' (2018-2022) ===''Transformers''=== *We shall see, Galvatron. We shall see. **Who: Zarak **Source: ''[[Transformers: Generation 1|The Transformers]]'' (1984-1987) *''Who's the smartest shark around?/Who's the coolest shark in town?/Sky-Byte, that's me!'' Ha! **Who: Sky-Byte **Source: ''[[Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2001)|Transformers: Robots in Disguise]]'' (2001-2002) *The war between the Autobots and the Decepticons has come to an end, and without the hatred between the two sides, there was no evil to feed Unicron, and he became powerless. Both Unicron and Megatron scattered into the far reaches of the universe. As for me, my purpose has been served. Cybertron is safe and Transformers live in peace with the Mini-Cons. So the next time you look out into space and see a peaceful star far, far away, it just might be Cybertron. TRANSFORM! **Who: Optimus Prime **Source: ''[[Transformers: Armada]]'' (2002-2003) *Check it out, Ironhide. That's our future out there. **Who: Kicker Jones **Source: ''[[Transformers: Energon]]'' (2004-2005) *Fire up the engines to full throttle! We have a course set to the far reaches of the universe, and it's time to go! Courage, hope for the future, and teamwork—our adventure will continue as long as we remember the words of Primus: 'Til all are one! TRANSFORM!!! **Who: Optimus Prime and everybody **Source: ''[[Transformers: Cybertron]]'' (2005-2006) *That would be the easy way out, Megatron. You don't deserve it. **Who: Optimus Prime **Source: ''[[Transformers Animated]]'' (2007-2009) *Until we meet again, old friend. **Who: Optimus Prime **Source: ''[[Transformers: Prime]]'' (2010-2013) *I want to get a picture of my heroes. **Who: Chief Charlie Burns **Source: ''[[Transformers: Rescue Bots]]'' (2011-2016) *Saved by the howl. Autobots, let's rev up and roll out. **Who: Bumblebee **Source: ''[[Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2015)|Transformers: Robots in Disguise]]'' (2015-2017) ===''Unikitty!''=== *Nice job, Bat-team. **Who: Unikitty (Season 1) **Source: ''[[Unikitty!]]'' (2017-2020) *Happens to the festival, Amigo. **Who: Dunklecorn (Season 2) **Source: ''[[Unikitty!]]'' (2017-2020) *Nice. **Who: One of the Two Astronauts (Season 3) **Source: ''[[Unikitty!]]'' (2017-2020) ===''[[:Sunny Day (TV series)|Sunny Day]]''=== *But Look How It Ended! **Who: Sunny (Season 2) *Bananas! **Who: Olivia And Doodle (Season 2) **Source: ''[[:Sunny Day (TV series)|Sunny Day]]'' ===''[[Messy Goes To OKIDO]]''=== *Bye Bye! **Who: Messy Monster (Season 3) **Source: ''[[Messy Goes To OKIDO]]'' (2015-2023) ===''[[Winx Club]]''=== *'''Listen. Whatever it is you choose to do, I want you to know that you're not alone.''' **Who: Sky (Cinélume, Season 1) *'''To next year!''' **Who: Alfea students (4Kids, Season 1) **Source: ''Winx Club'' (2003-2019) *'''Mirta!''' **Who: Bloom (Cinélume, Season 2) *'''Wait for us!''' **Who: Bloom (4Kids, Season 2) **Source: ''Winx Club'' (2003-2019) *'''Yes, I think I'm ready. Mom, Dad, I feel like were going to meet very, very soon.''' **Who: Bloom (Cinélume, Season 3) *'''I think I'm ready. Mom, Dad, I feel like we're going to meet really soon.''' **Who: Bloom (4Kids, Season 3) *'''I ''am'' ready. Mom, Dad, I have a feeling we're going to meet very, very soon.''' **Who: Bloom (Atlas Oceanic, Season 3) **Source: ''Winx Club'' (2003-2019) *'''Your journey on the path of magic also passes through Gardenia. Now off you go, you're on in a minute!''' **Who: Faragonda (Cinélume, Season 4) *'''A fairy's magical journey includes all her dreams and passions. Now off you go, show me what you've got, girls!''' **Who: Faragonda (Atlas Oceanic, Season 4) **Source: ''Winx Club'' (2003-2019) *'''Best little sister in the known universe!''' **Who: Daphne (Season 5) **Source: ''Winx Club'' (2003-2019) *'''Thanks, cuz.''' **Who: Thoren (Season 6) **Source: ''Winx Club'' (2003-2019) *'''Even the smallest creature can play a key role in the destiny of all the worlds.''' **Who: Bloom (Season 7) **Source: ''Winx Club'' (2003-2019) *'''Winx forever!''' **Who: Stella (Season 8) **Source: ''Winx Club'' (2003-2019) *'''There is not enough room for fairies and witches on earth!''' **Who: Baba Yags **Source: ''[[World of Winx]]'' (2017-2018) **Note: Was quietly cancelled and ended on a cliffhanger due to most of the crew producing the final season of the main show. ==See also== * [[First lines in animated TV shows]] [[Category:Last lines|Animated]] [[Category:Animated TV shows|*]] 8oq4uedci62tccg6mhy4knslqgftvvk 0 214829 3942153 3923457 2026-05-17T20:21:13Z ~2026-20999-95 3307971 3942153 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''{{w|Duck Dodgers in the 24½th Century}}''''' is a 1952 Merrie Melodies color cartoon from Warner Bros., first released on July 25, 1953, that stars Daffy Duck as space hero Duck Dodgers, Porky Pig as his assistant, and Marvin the Martian as his opponent. This cartoon marked the first of many appearances of the Duck Dodgers character. This cartoon was featured in ''[[The Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Movie]]''. == Duck Dodgers == *Oops! Had the silly thing in reverse! *Well, I guess he's had enough. I'll send him an ultimatum. ''[He produces a pistol marked "Acme Ultimatum Dispatcher", which fires a bullet into Marvin's Maggot-class spacecraft. The bullet screeches to a halt in front of Marvin, then opens up and rolls out a sign which reads "Surrender or be blown into 17,670,002 micro-cells". Marvin produces a pistol marked "A-1 Ultimatum Answerer", which fires a bullet into Dodgers' spacecraft. This bullet, upon screeching to a halt in front of Dodgers, opens up and catches our hero in the face with a shotgun-blast. Dodgers then fires another ultimatum-bullet into Marvin's Maggot; this one opens up and rolls out a sign which reads "OUCH!"]'' ==Dialogue== :'''Duck Dodgers''': And now then, eager young space cadet, here is the course we shall pursue to find Planet X. Starting from where we are, we go 33,600 turbo miles due up. Then west in an Astro-arc deviation to here, then following the great circle seven radio lubes south by DownEast. By astrolatries to here, here, and here, then by space Navigo-compass to here, here, and then to here and here. By thirteen-point strata-cumulus bearing four million light-years, and thus to our destination. Now do you know how to reach Planet X? :'''Porky Pig''': Y-y-ye... Oh sure. :'''Duck Dodgers''': ''[Staring stunned at the cadet, then at the chart's ridiculously complex path]'' Well, I wish you'd explain it to me some time, buster! :'''Porky Pig''': Why, it's very simple, sir. ''[Points to progression of lettered planets]'' If we follow those planets, we can't very well miss Planet X. :'''Duck Dodgers''': ''[laughing]'' Oh, that's ridiculous! Of all the stupid suggestions! Ha! Hey, wait a minute. I think I've got it. I'll just bet that if we follow those planets, we'll find Planet X. Gad! How do I do it? :'''Porky Pig''': I d-d-don't know. {{line}} :'''Duck Dodgers''': ''[plants his flag]'' I claim this planet in the name of the Earth! :''[the Martian Maggot lands. Marvin the Martian leaves his ship and plants a Martian flag.]'' :'''Marvin the Martian''': I claim this planet in the name of Mars! Isn't that lovely? :'''Duck Dodgers''': Look, bud, I've got news for you. I have already claimed this bit of dirt for the Earth, and there just isn't room enough on this planet for the two of us. :'''Marvin the Martian''': I do believe you are right. ''[pulls his disintegrating pistol]'' :'''Duck Dodgers''': Heh! Little does he realize that I have on my disintegration-proof vest. You may fire when ready, Gridley. :''[Marvin fires; Dodger is reduced to dust, but the vest is intact. Porky immediately runs out and re-atomizes Dodgers with a Re-Integrating Pistol]'' :'''Duck Dodgers''': What-where-who-how- Oh, you, huh? Just when I had him going, you had to butt in! Well, get back in that spaceship! :'''Porky Pig''': Eh, y-y-yes, sir, Your Hero ship, sir. ''[heads back to the ship.]'' :'''Duck Dodgers''': ''[runs back to Marvin with his own disintegrating pistol]'' Ha-ha, got the drop on you with MY disintegrating pistol! And, brother, when it disintegrates, it disintegrates! ''[pulls the trigger, whereupon the pistol itself disintegrates.]'' :'''Duck Dodgers''': Heh, well, what do you know? It disintegrated. ''[Marvin fires, but Dodgers gets out of the way in time and runs into the ship. Porky opens the door and gives Marvin a lit stick of dynamite]'' :'''Porky Pig''': Happy b-b-birthday you think from another world you. ''[Porky closes the door]'' :'''Marvin the Martian''': Oh, thank you. ''[the dynamite explodes, leaving only Marvin's helmet. Looking angry, he glares at the closed door, and still in his helmet, goes back to the Martian Maggot]'' == Voice Cast == Mel Blanc - Duck Dodgers (Daffy Duck) / Porky Pig / Marvin the Martian ==External links== {{wikipedia}} {{Looney Tunes}} [[Category:1952 animated films]] [[Category:American animated short films]] [[Category:Traditionally animated short films]] [[Category:Children's animated science fantasy short films]] [[Category:Children's animated space adventure short films]] [[Category:Daffy Duck cartoons‎]] [[Category:Porky Pig cartoons‎]] [[Category:Animated films about extraterrestrial life]] [[Category:Marvin the Martian cartoons]] [[Category:Films set on fictional planets]] [[Category:Films directed by Chuck Jones]] pd0idwr5gc7toewk5dhn863aufq542o 3942154 3942153 2026-05-17T20:24:53Z ~2026-20999-95 3307971 3942154 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''{{w|Duck Dodgers in the 24½th Century}}''''' is a 1952 Merrie Melodies color cartoon from Warner Bros., first released on July 25, 1953, that stars Daffy Duck as space hero Duck Dodgers, Porky Pig as his assistant, and Marvin the Martian as his opponent. This cartoon marked the first of many appearances of the Duck Dodgers character. This cartoon was featured in ''[[The Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Movie]]''. == Duck Dodgers == *Oops! Had the silly thing in reverse! *Well, I guess he's had enough. I'll send him an ultimatum. ''[He produces a pistol marked "Acme Ultimatum Dispatcher", which fires a bullet into Marvin's Maggot-class spacecraft. The bullet screeches to a halt in front of Marvin, then opens up and rolls out a sign which reads "Surrender or be blown into 17,670,002 micro-cells". Marvin produces a pistol marked "A-1 Ultimatum Answerer", which fires a bullet into Dodgers' spacecraft. This bullet, upon screeching to a halt in front of Dodgers, opens up and catches our hero in the face with a shotgun-blast. Dodgers then fires another ultimatum-bullet into Marvin's Maggot; this one opens up and rolls out a sign which reads "OUCH!"]'' ==Dialogue== :'''Duck Dodgers''': And now then, eager young space cadet, here is the course we shall pursue to find Planet X. Starting from where we are, we go 33,600 turbo miles due up. Then west in an Astro-arc deviation to here, then following the great circle seven radio lubes south by DownEast. By astrolatries to here, here, and here, then by space Navigo-compass to here, here, and then to here and here. By thirteen-point strata-cumulus bearing four million light-years, and thus to our destination. Now do you know how to reach Planet X? :'''Porky Pig''': Y-y-ye... Oh sure. :'''Duck Dodgers''': ''[Staring stunned at the cadet, then at the chart's ridiculously complex path]'' Well, I wish you'd explain it to me some time, buster! :'''Porky Pig''': Why, it's very simple, sir. ''[Points to progression of lettered planets]'' If we follow those planets, we can't very well miss Planet X. :'''Duck Dodgers''': ''[laughing]'' Oh, that's ridiculous! Of all the stupid suggestions! Ha! Hey, wait a minute. I think I've got it. I'll just bet that if we follow those planets, we'll find Planet X. Gad! How do I do it? :'''Porky Pig''': I d-d-don't know. {{line}} :'''Duck Dodgers''': ''[plants his flag]'' I claim this planet in the name of the Earth! :''[the Martian Maggot lands. Marvin the Martian leaves his ship and plants a Martian flag.]'' :'''Marvin the Martian''': I claim this planet in the name of Mars! Isn't that lovely? :'''Duck Dodgers''': Look, bud, I've got news for you. I have already claimed this bit of dirt for the Earth, and there just isn't room enough on this planet for the two of us. :'''Marvin the Martian''': I do believe you are right. ''[pulls his disintegrating pistol]'' :'''Duck Dodgers''': Heh! Little does he realize that I have on my disintegration-proof vest. You may fire when ready, Gridley. :''[Marvin fires; Dodger is reduced to dust, but the vest is intact. Porky immediately runs out and re-atomizes Dodgers with a Re-Integrating Pistol]'' :'''Duck Dodgers''': What-where-who-how- Oh, you, huh? Just when I had him going, you had to butt in! Well, get back in that spaceship! :'''Porky Pig''': Eh, y-y-yes, sir, Your Hero ship, sir. ''[heads back to the ship.]'' :'''Duck Dodgers''': ''[runs back to Marvin with his own disintegrating pistol]'' Ha-ha, got the drop on you with MY disintegrating pistol! And, brother, when it disintegrates, it disintegrates! ''[pulls the trigger, whereupon the pistol itself disintegrates.]'' :'''Duck Dodgers''': Heh, well, what do you know? It disintegrated. ''[Marvin fires, but Dodgers gets out of the way in time and runs into the ship. Porky opens the door and gives Marvin a lit stick of dynamite]'' :'''Porky Pig''': Happy b-b-birthday you think from another world you. ''[Porky closes the door]'' :'''Marvin the Martian''': Oh, thank you. ''[the dynamite explodes, leaving only Marvin's helmet. Looking angry, he glares at the closed door, and still in his helmet, goes back to the Martian Maggot]'' == Voice Cast == *Mel Blanc - Duck Dodgers (Daffy Duck)/Porky Pig/Marvin the Martian ==External links== {{wikipedia}} * {{IMDb title|0045709}} {{Looney Tunes}} [[Category:1952 animated films]] [[Category:American animated short films]] [[Category:Traditionally animated short films]] [[Category:Children's animated science fantasy short films]] [[Category:Children's animated space adventure short films]] [[Category:Daffy Duck cartoons‎]] [[Category:Porky Pig cartoons‎]] [[Category:Animated films about extraterrestrial life]] [[Category:Marvin the Martian cartoons]] [[Category:Films set on fictional planets]] [[Category:Films directed by Chuck Jones]] 7r84srsrod3u6ezm914fo5gvb3e2f0e 0 227289 3942175 3938667 2026-05-17T20:56:58Z ~2026-12982-86 3297719 /* The Slumber Party / The Homework Hassle [1.8] */ 3942175 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} ---- :'''Seasons''': [[The Berenstain Bears (2003) (season 1)|1]] [[The Berenstain Bears (2003) (season 2)|2]] [[The Berenstain Bears (2003) (season 3)|3]] | [[The Berenstain Bears (2003 TV series)|Main]] ---- The following is a list of quotes from the first season of ''[[The Berenstain Bears (2003 TV series)|The Berenstain Bears]]''. ==Season 1== ===''Trouble at School / Visit the Dentist'' [1.1]=== :''[first lines of the series, echoing the book the episode was based on]'' :'''Brother Bear''': When a problem at school is kept secret too long, it can grow until a cub thinks everything is wrong! <hr width="50%"/> :''[Sister --after bringing Brother make-up math homework-- sees Brother still playing with his dinosaur collection.]'' :'''Sister Bear''': If you can hold a [[w:dinosaur|dinosaur]], you can hold a [[w:pencil|pencil]]! :''[Sister puts Brother's make-up work on his bed and angrily walks away. Echoing from the book, "While Brother was having fun at home, his fellow classmates --in Teacher Bob's class-- were hard at work. They learned addition, subtraction and multiplication. And now, they were learning about division". For multiplication and division, they first learned about their multiplication times tables through 9 --counting by 1's, 2's, 3's, 4's, 5's, 6's, 7's, 8's and 9's-- and now they were learning multiplication and division facts through 9. But Brother, he has not done any of his multiplication and division homework since Sister brought him it on Monday.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Teacher Bob''': If you all take your seats, we can get started on the math test. Please remember to show me all your calculations on the margin. :''[The quiz is about division. It's about division facts --1 through 9. For multiplication, Brother's class learned multiplication facts through 9. Now on division, it was division facts through 9. In the book version, it says, "Then when Brother got back to school, Teacher Bob said to him and his class, 'I certainly hope you studied that math folder. Because we are going to have a quiz'. 'A quiz?', asked Brother. 'About what?'. 'About division of course', said Teacher Bob as he handed out the quiz packets".]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Teacher Bob''': Goodbye! I'll see you tomorrow. :''[Even though most of the students did great, there was one "F" and that was Brother. Teacher Bob glares at Brother. Then it cuts to Brother. That is, who looks guilty after failing the division quiz. Brother may have gotten every single problem wrong or cheated with another student's test.]'' :'''Brother Bear''': Uh oh! This can't be good! :'''Teacher Bob''': I'm afraid it isn't, Brother. :''[Teacher Bob then reveals the division quiz. There is a number "0" on the test. Teacher Bob wrote on the division quiz, '''VERY POOR! MUST BE SIGNED BY PARENT!'''. That is, and in other words, "Brother not only got every problem wrong or cheated. But he also got a great big '0'". In the book, and echoing from it, the actual page reads, "The quiz was a disaster! Not only did Brother get every problem wrong! But Teacher Bob wrote on the paper ''''VERY POOR! MUST BE SIGNED BY PARENT!''''".]'' :'''Brother Bear''': '''[[w:zero|ZERO]]??''' :''[After Brother says this, Teacher Bob is concerned. He asks if Brother studied for the division quiz. That is, as he asks Brother...!]'' :'''Teacher Bob''': Didn't you do the worksheets I sent home with Sister? :'''Brother Bear''': Well, I was pretty sick. ''[tries to talk in between coughs]'' It took a lot out of me of that flu bug. :'''Teacher Bob''': Hmm? :'''Brother Bear''': But I think I'm going to be okay now. And I can't wait to get those worksheets done! :'''Teacher Bob''': I'm glad to hear that. :'''Brother Bear''': Well... I guess I better catch the bus. :'''Teacher Bob''': Oh, one more thing. Please have your parents sign that test and bring it back to me tomorrow. :'''Brother Bear''': Yes, sir. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Brother looks at his test which was about division.]'' :'''Brother Bear''': Even the [[w:flu|flu]] doesn't feel this bad. :'''Mama Bear''': How was your day at school? :'''Brother Bear''': We had a math test today, and... :''[Sister starts coughing and sneezing.]'' :'''Sister Bear''': I don't feel very well, Mama. :'''Mama Bear''': Oh, dear. ''[Sister sneezes]'' :'''Papa Bear''' I don't like the sound of that. :'''Mama Bear''' You're running a temperature. :'''Sister Bear''': I think I caught Brother's cold. :'''Papa Bear''': Yes, that doesn't surprise me. ''[to Brother]'' And now, what were you saying, son? :'''Brother Bear''': Me? Oh, it was nothing really. Sister's more important right now. ''[to Sister]'' Here, Sister. Let me carry your stuff. :'''Sister Bear''': Thank you. :'''Papa Bear''': And I'll carry you. :'''Mama Bear''': I'll put on some chicken soup. :''[Mama and Papa are unaware that Brother cheated or didn't pass his division quiz. And now, they're trying to take care of Sister.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Brother Bear''': '''I JUST WON'T GO TO SCHOOL, AND I WON'T GIVE MY TEST BACK TO THE TEACHER! NOT MY FAULT I WAS SICK!''' ''[takes his division quiz out of his backpack]'' '''PHOOEY ON SCHOOL! PHOOEY ON MATH! PHOOEY ON EVERYTHING!''' ''[folds his division quiz into a paper airplane and sails it out so neither him nor his family can see it and it lands near an old log.]'' Oh no! What am I supposed to do now? I can't go to school! And I can't go home! <hr width="50%"/> :''[The scene cuts to Gramps and Gran's dining room. Brother is at their table having milk and chocolate chip cookies.]'' :'''Gran''': Dear me! This paper has more wrinkles than I do. :''[Gran flattens out the division quiz --which Brother had made into a paper airplane-- and rolls it out with her rolling pin. That is, to get the wrinkles out of the quiz.]'' :'''Gran''': Well? I guess that is about the best I can do. :'''Brother Bear''': It is way better than it did, ''[looks at the zero on his test.]'' but it still has a big fat zero on it. :''[By that saying of Brother, the division test looks better than it did. That is, but it still has a great big "0".]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Mama and Papa look at the division quiz. And they find a great big "0" on it.]'' :'''Brother Bear''': ''[shows the zero on his division test]'' I told you it was pretty bad. :'''Papa Bear''': Pretty bad? Can it get any worse than zero? :'''Gramps''': Well, it can get worse when you don't tell your parents and don't get on the [[w:school bus|school bus]]. :'''Brother Bear''': That's for sure. :'''Mama Bear''': ''[offscreen]'' You should have come to us right away. :'''Brother Bear''': I know, I'm sorry. :'''Papa Bear''': At least you're coming to us now. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cousin Freddy''': I had no idea so many gooey gums can fit into one bag. :'''Brother Bear''': Well, this way I'll have enough to last a while. :'''Cousin Freddy''': A while? You'll have enough to last until next year. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Sister Bear''': I don't want Dr. Bearson to yank my tooth out with his big yankers! :'''Mama Bear''' Big yankers? Who told you that? ''[angrily galres at Papa. Papa nods his head no as he didn't tell Sister about the dentist pulling out her teeth with yankers. Then they all turn to Brother.]'' :'''Brother Bear''': I was only kidding. I didn't think she'd believe me. ''[chuckles]'' Sorry, Sister. :'''Mama Bear''': Dr. Bearson isn't going to yank out your tooth with yankers. ''[to Sister]'' Your tooth will fall out on its own. :'''Brother Bear''': I bet that's a relief. Huh, Sister? Well, I'm going over to Freddy's for a while. :'''Mama Bear''': ''[stops him]'' Not so fast! Sister's loose tooth doesn't explain why you didn't want any oatmeal chewies. :'''Papa Bear''' Yes, you usually eat two or three at a time. :'''Brother Bear''': I had a little [[w:toothache|toothache]], but it's feeling much... ''[his tooth starts to hurt.]'' better now. Ow! :'''Mama Bear''': How long have you had this toothache? :'''Brother Bear''': Since this morning when I was eating a gooey gum. :'''Mama Bear''': More gooey gums? :'''Papa Bear''': No wonder you have a toothache. They're so sweet that even your truly papa bear wouldn't eat one. :'''Mama Bear''': I better phone Dr. Bearson and make an appointment right away. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Mama Bear''': You'd better make sure you put your tooth under your pillow tonight. :'''Sister Bear''': Why? :'''Brother Bear''': Why? For the [[w:tooth fairy|tooth fairy]] of course. :'''Sister Bear''': No way! This is my first tooth! I'm keeping it! :''[Mama and Brother start laughing]'' ===''Mama New Job/Mighty Milton'' [1.2]=== :'''Too-Tall, Smirk and Skuzz''': ''[together, chanting, and chorusing a "teasing" comment about Milton]'' '''MILTON, MILTON!''' :'''WATCH HIM GO!''' :'''WATCH HIM DRIBBLE OFF HIS TOE!''' <hr width”50%”/> :''[After Too-Tall, Smirk and Skuzz teased Brother in the classroom, school yard, and on the bus back home from school --which was the chant "Brother, Brother!/Teacher's Pet!/Now he is the principal's pet!", "Brother, Brother!/He's so good!/He does everything he should!", and "Brother, Brother!/He's so sweet!/The sweetest cub you ever met!"-- Brother befriended a new cub named Massive Milton. And after Too-Tall, Smirk, and Skuzz teased Milton, Too-Tall teases Brother again and he --Too-Tall-- says...!)''' :'''Too-Tall''': ''[to Brother]'' '''WELL?! LA-DI-DAH! BROTHER BEAR --THE PRINCIPAL'S PET-- IS STICKING UP FOR MASSIVE MILTON!''' :''[This line --said by Too-Tall-- was also from the "Too Much Teasing" book.]'' <hr width”50%”/> :'''Woman 1''': These [[w:quilt|quilts]] will look fabulous on my cub's bed. How much are you asking for them? :'''Woman 2''' Excuse me! But I think I saw them first! :'''Sister Bear''': '''NO! (YOU CAN'T BUY THESE QUILTS!) MAMA MADE THOSE FOR US!''' ''[Sister and Brother both hug the quilts]'' :'''Mama Bear''': I'm sorry. But these quilts aren't for sale. I'm just airing them out. <hr width”50%”/> :'''Mama Bear''': I've got a job! I'm going to start my own quilt-making business! :'''Papa Bear, Brother Bear and Sister Bear''': Huh?? ===''Go To School / The Week at Grandma's'' [1.3]=== :'''Sister Bear''': What's this? :'''Brother Bear''': Things we studied in mathematics. That's long division. It looks a lot harder than it is. It's nothing to worry about. :'''Sister Bear''': Nothing to worry about? It's just like Too-Tall said! It's too hard! :'''Mama Bear''': Oh dear, you've worked yourself into a tizzy! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Brother Bear''': Do you know what a [[w:synonym|synonym]] is? :''[Sister mistakenly believes Brother and says "cinnamon"]'' :'''Sister Bear''': Uh-huh. It's my favorite spice. Like synonym [[w:toast|toast]] and synonym [[w:bun|buns]]... :'''Brother Bear''': ''[laughs]'' No, that's"[[w:cinnamon|cinnamon]]". I said "synonym". It's word that's spelled differently, but it means the same thing. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Mama Bear''': ''[chuckles]'' Too busy? :'''Sister Bear''': I promised Brother I'd make a [[w:picture|picture]]. :'''Brother Bear''': You can make me a picture at kindergarten, Sister. They've got lots of [[w:paint|paint]], [[w:crayon|crayons]] and every [[w:color|color]] you can think of. :'''Sister Bear''': But I want to hear my [[w:storybook|storybooks]]! :'''Mama Bear''': They have lots of books at kindergarten, too. With stories you haven't heard before. :'''Sister Bear''': I was going to build something with my [[w:building blocks|blocks]]. :'''Papa Bear''': They have enough blocks to build a [[w:castle|castle]] at kindergarten. That was one of Brother's things about school. :'''Brother Bear''': There's a tub of blocks bigger than you. :'''Mama Bear''': What do you say, Sister? Can you give kindergarten a try? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Mama Bear''': And so, you went with Brother on the [[w:bus|bus]] for your first day of school. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Sister Bear''': Is it all right if I sit here? :'''Lizzy''': Uh-huh! :''[When they get to school]'' :'''Miss Honey Bear''': Welcome to Bear Country School. My name is Miss Honey Bear, and I'm your new kindergarten teacher! Would you like to come inside and meet your new classmates? :''[When it's time for recess, all the cubs go out to play. Mama Bear comes to school to see how Sister is doing. The cubs who are heading out to recess bump into Mama.]'' :'''Sister Bear''': ''[realizes]'' Mama, why are you here? :'''Mama Bear''': Oh, I just thought I would stop by to see how you were doing. :'''Sister Bear''': I'm having fun! Brother was right, they do have lots of paint colors, more than a hundred! :'''Mama Bear''': ''[chuckles]'' Is that right? :'''Sister Bear''': And they do have a big tub of blocks, just like Papa said. Lizzy and I built a giant castle! :'''Mama Bear''': Lizzy? :'''Sister Bear''': Uh-huh, she's my new friend. :'''Lizzy''': New best friend. :'''Mama Bear''': ''[shakes hands with Lizzy]'' Pleased to meet you, Lizzy. :'''Lizzy''': Hi, we're having [[w:recess|recess]]! :'''Mama Bear''': And what do you do at recess? :'''Sister Bear''': ''[to Lizzy]'' Do you know? :'''Lizzy''': This is my first one! :'''Mama Bear''': ''[chuckles]'' I'll help you get started! Come on over to the [[w:swing|swings]] and I'll push you. :'''Sister Bear''': Okay! :'''Lizzy''': That's a good idea! :''[The flashback ends]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Brother Bear''': Huh? :'''Sister Bear''': [[w:suitcase|Suitcases]]? :'''Mama Bear''': So our reservations for Grizzly Mountain Lodge are all set? Thank you so much, see you soon. :'''Brother Bear''': Reservations? :'''Cubs''': We're going on vacation! :'''Mama Bear''': Well, actually, it's a second [[w:honeymoon|honeymoon]]. :'''Brother Bear''': Still sounds like fun. :'''Sister Bear''': Mmmm! Especially the [[w:honey|honey]] part. :'''Papa Bear''': I haven't seen these in ages. I wonder if my serve is still... ''[falls to the ground]'' Ow! :'''Brother Bear''': Papa, are you okay? :'''Sister Bear''': Maybe you should just let Brother and me play [[w:tennis|tennis]] on the honeymoon. :'''Brother Bear''': You and Mama can keep score. :'''Mama Bear''': Sorry, sweeties, but honeymoons aren't for cubs. Honeymoons are special trips that couples go on after they get married. It's an old tradition. :'''Papa Bear''': Grizzly Mountain Lodge is where Mama and I went on our first honeymoon. :'''Brother Bear''': But what about us? :'''Mama Bear''': Well, you're going on a special trip of your own. :'''Brother Bear''': ''[gasps]'' Is it Grizzly World? :'''Sister Bear''': Is it Honeycomb [[w:amusement park|Amusement Park]]? :'''Mama Bear''': You're going to Grandma's. :'''Cubs''': ''[shocked]'' Gran's? :'''Brother Bear''': That should do it. [[w:board games|Board games]], [[w:book|books]], my [[w:yo-yo|yo-yo]]. I wonder if I should bring my chemistry set. :'''Sister Bear''': I'm bringing [[w:puzzle|puzzles]], [[w:coloring book|coloring books]] and [[w:teddy bear|teddy]]. :'''Papa Bear''': Beep beep. Coming through! Hey, what's all this doing out here? :'''Brother Bear''': Well, we are going to Gran's for a whole week. We need to keep busy. :'''Mama Bear''': ''[chuckles]'' Come on, now. You always have fun at Gran's house without all this stuff! :'''Brother Bear''': When we go for one afternoon, maybe. ''[whispers to Mama Bear]'' and Gran and Gramps are old. :'''Sister Bear''': Maybe they'll want to take naps all day. :''[Papa closes the trunk of the car]'' :'''Sister Bear''': Papa, what about our [[w:toy|toys]]? :'''Papa Bear''': You won't need all those. You're going to have too much fun with Gran and Gramps. I wonder if the [[w:lodge|lodge]] still has [[w:canoe|canoe]] rides on the [[w:lake|lake]]. :'''Mama Bear''': And [[w:live music|live music]] in the dance hall. <hr width"50"%=> :'''Brother Bear''': Now for my favorite part of lunch. [[w:dessert|Dessert]]. :'''Sister Bear''': Oh no! Gran forgot the honey for the honey buns! :'''Gramps''': No, she didn't. Gran makes the buns, And I make the honey, with some help of course. :'''Brother Bear''': Watch it, Gramps! They'll sting you! :'''Gramps''': I do this all the time. First, you smoke the [[w:bee|bees]] out to calm them down, then you gently pry the hive open, loosen up a frame and pull out the honeycomb. ===''The Trouble With Pets / The Sitter'' [1.4]=== :'''Brother Bear''': Are you thinking what I'm thinking? :'''Sister Bear''': A [[w:horse|horse]]? :''[Brother and Sister gallop likes horses]'' :'''Brother Bear''': We can ride it to school! :'''Papa Bear''': ''[slows them down]'' Whoa! Nobody said anything about a horse. :'''Mama Bear''': A horse would need a fenced corral with lots of room to run. Our yard's just too small. :'''Papa Bear''': And do you know how much a horse eats? More oats than I can afford! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Sister Bear''': I want a pet that's warm and cuddly. :'''Brother Bear''': If you want something warm and cuddly, you should just get your old blanket. :'''Sister Bear''': Well, if you want a pet that's cold and slimy, you should get some slime! :'''Papa Bear''': ''[walking to them]'' What's all the commotion about? :'''Brother Bear''': ''[waking to Papa and Sister]'' None of the pets that Sister wants are any fun! :'''Sister Bear''': All the pets that Brother wants are too weird! :'''Brother Bear''': They are not! :'''Sister Bear''': '''ARE TOO!''' :'''Papa Bear''': Now settle down. We'll go to the [[w:pet store|pet store]]. Maybe they'll have something you can both agree on. :'''Brother Bear''': The pet store? Okay. <hr width="50%"/> :''[The scene dissolves to Mama Papa Sister and Brother in the family car on the way to the pet store]'' :'''Mama Bear''': Now remember, cubs... :'''Cubs''': We know. :'''Brother Bear''': Nothing that eats bugs. :'''Sister Bear''': ''[laughs]'' Or smells bad. :'''Brother Bear''': Hey! ''[sees Farmer Ben running around.]'' What's Farmer Ben doing? :'''Papa Bear''': It looks like his [[w:chicken|chickens]] are on the loose. Let's give him a hand. :''[Papa parks the car so they can see what Farmer Ben is doing]'' :'''Farmer Ben''': Come back here! Uh... Heal! Oh boy. Sit! :'''Brother Bear''': Heal? :'''Sister Bear''': Sit? :'''Papa Bear''': Farmer Ben must be trying to train his chickens. :''[A litter of puppies race towards Brother and Sister]'' :'''Brother Bear''': [[w:puppy|Puppies]]! :'''Sister Bear''': Aw! They're so cute! :'''Farmer Ben''': These pups are getting to be quite a handful. I'm going to have to put an ad on the paper to see if I can find them good homes. :'''Brother Bear''': Can we have one? Please? :'''Papa Bear''': I don't know. :'''Mama Bear''': We'll think about it. :'''Sister Bear''': What do we have to think about? :'''Papa Bear''': Well, for one thing, there are the vet bills to consider. :'''Mama Bear''': Not to mention dog tags and licenses. All of that costs money. :'''Brother Bear''': ''[hands Mama the puppy]'' We can save up our allowance money to help pay for it. :'''Mama Bear''': ''[the puppy licks Mama]'' Oh my. It is kind of cute. :'''Papa Bear''': We'll take it. :'''Sister Bear''': Yay! We're getting a puppy! :'''Brother Bear''': Let's call him Prince. :'''Farmer Ben''': ''[chuckles]'' That's a fine name for a boy dog, but I'm afraid the one you're holding is a little lady. :'''Sister Bear''': Maybe that's what we should call her, Little Lady. :'''Brother Bear''': Wait until you see your new home! You're really going to like it! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Sister Bear''': What are you doing here? :'''Brother Bear''': What ''am'' I doing here? What are ''you'' doing here? You're supposed to be looking after Lady. :'''Sister Bear''': No I'm not! I won the [[w:coin toss|coin toss]], remember? :'''Brother Bear''': That was for cleaning up her accident. :'''Sister Bear''': It was for cleaning up her accident and looking after her! :'''Brother Bear''': No it wasn't. :'''Sister Bear''': Yes it was! :'''Brother Bear''': Well, if we aren't looking after her, who is? :''[Little Lady has made a mess in the living room. She's pulling one of her toys from underneath a flower vase. The cubs run home and say...!]'' :'''Sister Bear''': No, Lady! :'''Brother Bear''': Stop! :''[The flower vase falls on the ground and breaks. The cubs look at the mess Little Lady made.]'' :'''Brother Bear''': This isn't good! :''[Mama and Papa return home]'' :'''Mama Bear''': Hello! :'''Papa Bear''': Hi! :''[Mama and Papa also look at the mess Little Lady made.]'' :'''Mama Bear''': Oh, the [[w:sofa|sofa]]! :'''Papa Bear''': My [[w:chair|chair]]! <hr width="50%"/> :''[The scene cuts to outside where it's raining outside. Little Lady is sent to her doghouse as punishment for wrecking the living room.]'' :'''Brother Bear''': Maybe we should have asked for a [[w:goldfish|goldfish]] instead. At least we wouldn't have gotten it into so much trouble. :'''Sister Bear''': It's not fair to Little Lady. We should be the ones out in the doghouse. :''[Mama and Papa are in the kitchen. Papa is fixing the broken flower vase, and Mama is sewing up a ripped pillow.]'' :'''Papa Bear''': This [[w:vase|vase]] is in more pieces than a [[w:jigsaw puzzle|jigsaw puzzle]]. :'''Mama Bear''': What could have gotten Little Lady into doing such a thing? :'''Brother Bear''': We know what got into her. :'''Mama Bear''': What do you mean? :'''Brother Bear''': We weren't exactly looking after her when she got into trouble. :'''Papa Bear''': You weren't looking after her? :'''Sister Bear''': She didn't get outside for any exercise all afternoon. Not even a walk. :'''Brother Bear''': That's why she wrecked the living room. She was just trying to have some fun. :'''Mama Bear''': ''[offscreen]'' Looking after a puppy is a round-the-clock job. :'''Papa Bear''': It isn't something you can just put off until later when it's more convenient. :'''Brother Bear''': We're sorry :'''Sister Bear''': I guess we aren't very good puppy owners. :'''Papa Bear''': ''[offscreen]'' Maybe you can make it up to her. :'''Mama Bear''': How about giving her a snack when you bring her back in. :'''Sister Bear''': We can bring her back in the house? :'''Brother Bear''': You mean it? :'''Mama Bear''': After hearing what really happened, I think she deserves another chance. :'''Brother Bear''': Come on, Sister! Let's go tell her the good news! ===''Too Much TV / Trick or Treat'' [1.5]=== :'''Papa Bear''': What's this? A lovely lady dining alone? May I join you for lunch, Mrs. Bear? :'''Mama Bear''': Be my guest. ''[Papa kisses her]'' The cubs aren't interested. :'''Papa Bear''': Oh? Where are they? :'''Mama Bear''': Eating in front of that television. It used to be a treat, but now they do it every day. :'''Brother Bear''': ''[offscreen]'' Give it to me! :'''Sister Bear''': ''[offscreen]'' No way! It's my turn to choose! :''[The scene cuts to the cubs in the living room, and they're fighting about what TV shows they should watch.]'' :'''Sister Bear''': '''WE'RE NOT WATCHING "BEAR WRESTLING"!''' :'''Brother Bear''': '''THERE'S NO WAY I'M WATCHING "LITTLE TREEHOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE"!''' :'''Mama Bear''': ''[offscreen]'' '''OKAY, THAT'S IT!''' :''[Brother and Sister jump from their fighting, drop the TV remote and the TV remote flies out of their hands.]'' :'''Cubs''': ''[screaming]'' :'''Mama Bear''': ''[catches the TV remote]'' '''NO MORE TV FOR A WEEK!''' :''[Mama turns off the TV with the remote.]'' :'''Brother Bear''': What? :'''Sister Bear''': But, Mama! :'''Mama Bear''': No, sir! I mean it. :'''Sister Bear''': Papa, Mama told us we can't watch TV for a whole week! :'''Papa Bear''': Your Mama's got a point. You two cubs have been watching far too much television lately. Now, if you don't mind, I'm just going to catch some of the hockey playoffs. ''[Mama takes the TV remote from Papa.]'' Huh? :'''Mama Bear''': ''[to Papa]'' You too, Papa! ''[then to the rest of her family]'' For once, the whole family is going to be TV-free! :'''Papa Bear''': Oh...! :'''Brother Bear''': Oh...! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Papa Bear''': ''[sees a wrestling show while in his workshop]'' Oh! I didn't see that coming! :'''Mama Bear''': ''[off-screen]'' And you didn't see me coming! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Sister Bear''': I think we should end the TV-ban on account of bad weather. :'''Mama Bear''': Rain or no rain. No TV for a week means no TV for a week. :'''Brother Bear''': What are we supposed to do for fun? :'''Mama Bear''': How about cracking open a good book? :'''Brother Bear''': Okay. ''[grabs a television guide]'' :'''Mama Bear''': That's the television guide. :'''Brother Bear''': But it's still reading. ''[looks at the television guide]'' Oh, guess what movie is on TV tonight! :'''Sister Bear''': What? :'''Brother Bear''': Honey, I shrunk the cubs! :'''Sister Bear''': That's a classic! ''[to Mama]'' Mama, you have to let us watch that! :'''Mama Bear''': I'm sorry, Brother and Sister, but the only way to break the "TV-watching-habit" is to keep the TV off. :'''Cubs''': Aw! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Brother Bear''': We'll go here, and here. :'''Sister Bear''': Don't forget this house. They always give out Crispy Squares. :'''Brother Bear''': Mm-mmm, love those Crispy Squares. :'''Mama Bear''': What are you cubs up to? :'''Brother Bear''': It's a trick-or-treat map. :'''Sister Bear''': We're figuring out which houses to visit tonight. :'''Brother Bear''': We're going to Farmer Ben's house and then Mrs. Grizzle's; she usually makes special Halloween cookies. :'''Sister Bear''': And then Teacher Jane's. She gives out good stuff. :'''Brother Bear''': And we'll go to Dr. Grizzly's house, even though she gives out healthy snacks. :'''Sister Bear''': Just to be polite. :'''Mama Bear''': ''[laughing]'' :'''Sister Bear''': And then Gramps and Gran. They always have lots of candy for us. :'''Mama Bear''': Hmm, it looks like you missed Widder Jones' house. :'''Brother Bear''': Oh, we did that on purpose. :'''Mama Bear''': You did? Why? :'''Brother Bear''': ''[to Mama; talking about Widder Jones]'' Because she's a witch! :'''Mama Bear''': Oh, nonsense! She's very sweet and kindhearted. :'''Brother Bear''': ''[confused]'' Mama, I'm talking about the Widder Jones who lives on Crooked Lane. That Widder Jones. :'''Mama Bear''': Yes, I know who you mean. We take a quilting class together. She's very friendly and helpful. :'''Brother Bear''': ''[whispering to Sister Bear]'' Until she turns you into a statue. :'''Mama Bear''': In fact, I saw her at the market today. She's preparing a very special treat for all the trick-or-treaters. And when you get home, I want to hear that you've paid Widder Jones a visit. Remember not to judge someone by their appearance. :'''Sister Bear''': So are we going there? :'''Brother Bear''': I guess so. You knock, and I'll wait by the road. :'''Sister Bear''': ''[offscreen]'' No way! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Skuzz''': We're going to put the trick back in Trick or Treating. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Sister Bear''': Mama wouldn't be friends with a witch now, would she? :'''Brother Bear''': Hmm, I suppose you're right. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Brother Bear''': It’s Too Tall and his boys! They’re not here for the Treats, just the tricks! :'''Widder Jones''': I understand perfectly! And I am more than happy to oblige. Watch this! :''[Widder Jones pulls a rope, Too-Tall, Smirk and Skuzz pop out of a bush and Vampire bats swarm them.]'' :'''Too Tall''': Watch out! Vampire bats! They’re after us! :'''Smirk''': Aah! Get away! :'''Skuzz''': Aah! They’re gonna get us! :'''All''': ''[laughing]'' :'''Brother Bear''': Wow! That’ll teach them! :'''Lizzy''': But, they’re still coming back! :'''Widder Jones''': Maybe they wants some more tricks! :''[Widder Jones pulls another rope, Too-Tall and his gang pop out from behind a tree, as ghosts appear.]'' :'''Too-Tall and his Gang''': Ghosts! ''[screaming]''. :'''All''': ''[Laughing]''. :'''Widder Jones''': So, Brother. How would you like to play the final trick! :'''Brother Bear''': Okay. :'''Widder Jones''': Just turn this on and watch the fun! :'''Brother''': 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! ''[Flicks a switch]'' :'''Skuzz''': This isn't much fun as I thought it would be! :''[Suddenly, skeletons appear out of nowhere.]'' :'''Too-Tall and his Gang''': ''[screaming]''. :'''Too-Tall''': Let’s get out of here! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES. Let's go home. Mommy Daddy? :'''All''': ''[laughing]''. ===''The Trouble With Money / The Double Dare'' [1.6]=== :'''Mama Bear''': Sometimes when people are so busy working hard, they can forget about other important things in their lives. :'''Papa Bear''': Even mamas and papas forget about very important things. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Brother Bear''': I guess I've been too busy. :'''Cousin Fred''': That's a surprise! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Sister Bear''': Brother, Brother! :'''Brother Bear''': What's the matter, Sister? :'''Sister Bear''': Too-Tall and his gang, took my [[w:jump rope|jump rope]]! I tried to get it back, but they wouldn't give it to me! :'''Brother Bear''': '''THREE AGAINST ONE! AND YOU'RE HALF THEIR SIZE! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!''' :'''Sister Bear''': You think you can get it back for me? :''[Brother --angrily-- runs off to the park to find the bully and two friends Too-Tall, Smirk and Skuzz.]'' :'''Brother Bear''': ''[about the bully]'' '''JUST TRY AND STOP ME! (AND THEY BETTER GIVE IT BACK OR ELSE!)''' :''[He goes off --snarling to himself-- after saying this. And he threatens that he's going to let Too-Tall, Smirk, and Skuzz have it if they don't give Sister back her jump rope. In fact, he thinks about letting Too-Tall he bully and-his two friends Smirk and Skuzz-- have it right now.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Too-Tall the bully and his two friends Smirk and Skuzz had stolen Sister's jump rope-- is jumping with Sister's jump rope. That is, until Brother showed up.]'' :'''Too-Tall''': Tell you what, Brother! You want it back? Come and get it! :'''Brother Bear''': All right! I'll do that! :''[Brother attempts to cross the log bridge over a stream.]'' :'''Skuzz''': ''[to Brother about his attempts to cross the log bridge over the stream]'' '''ONE FALSE MOVE AND YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE A CHILLY SWIM!''' :''[As Skuzz says this, he says it as if to mean he wouldn't care if Brother had a "chilly swim", caught a cold from it, and got called out sick so he wouldn't have to go to school. All he does care is that he knows Brother might not make it across the log bridge to retrieve Sister's jump rope from Too-Tall.]'' :'''Too-Tall''': Look, guys! I think he's chicken! :''[Smirk and Skuzz imitate chickens.]'' :'''Brother Bear''': I am not chicken! :'''Too-Tall''': Then we dare you to cross! :'''Brother Bear''': You're on! <hr width="50%"/> :''[The scene cuts to Brother, Too-Tall, Smirk and Skuzz at a field of sheep.]'' :'''Too-Tall''': Get ready, Brother. We're going to take a little shortcut across this field. :'''Brother Bear''': What's so fun about that? :''[Too-Tall Smirk and Skuzz laugh.]'' :'''Too-Tall''': There's a [[w:ram|ram]] in the flock with a bad temper. :'''Smirk''': With fast legs. :'''Skuzz''': And big horns. :'''Smirk''': They don't call him Bruiser for nothing. :'''Brother Bear''': ''[chuckles]'' Maybe I'll take the long way around. :'''Too-Tall''': That's the chicken route. :''[Smirk and Skuzz imitate chickens.]'' :'''Brother Bear''': I told you, I'm not chicken! :'''Too-Tall''': Then we dare you to take the shortcut! :'''Brother Bear''': Alright! I'll go! :'''Too-Tall''': That's what we like to hear! <hr width="50%"/> :''[Farmer Ben --unnoticed at first-- uses himself like a scarecrow. Brother Bear and the big cubs --Too-Tall, Smirk, and Skuzz-- think he's a scarecrow --and that there's a real scarecrow in the watermelon patch-- in the spite of that. That is, although they fail to notice him. He uses himself as a scarecrow --having his eyes shut, arms spread out, feet together, and his face like a scarecrow's face-- in the middle of the watermelon patch. That is, as if there really is a scarecrow in his patch. So Farmer Ben --striking the pose-- pretends to be a scarecrow. Brother --after picking out the biggest and greenest skinned watermelon-- gets the melon off the vine, breaks the stem off of it, and picks it up. But when he picks up the melon, Farmer Ben moves a little by smiling. Then he opens his eyes, makes his mouth into an "O" shape, and --offscreen-- undoes his scarecrow pose. Then he --as if returning back to his normal self-- runs up to Brother and catches him.]'' :'''Farmer Ben''': '''GOTCHA!''' :''[Brother Bear tries to run away --only to be tightly grabbed by Farmer Ben.]'' :'''Brother Bear''': '''HELP! LET ME GO!''' :''[The scene cuts to Too-Tall the bully and his two friends --Smirk and Skuzz. When they see that Brother is caught by Farmer Ben, they run away.]'' :'''Too-Tall''': '''RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!''' :''[Too-Tall and his gang run away screaming. Farmer Ben does not notice Too-Tall the bully and his friends --Smirk and Skuzz-- but he talks to Brother about the dee-double dare incident. And he --Farmer Ben-- is unaware that Too-Tall, Smirk, and Skuzz are invading his melon patch again.]'' :'''Farmer Ben''': '''BROTHER BEAR! WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING STEALING [[w:watermelon|WATERMELONS]] WITH TOO-TALL AND HIS NO GOOD GANG?!''' :''[As Farmer Ben says this, he wants to know what in the Earth Brother Bear --stealing Too-Tall-- is doing with that watermelon.]'' :'''Brother Bear''': First they dared me, then they double dared me, '''AND FINALLY, THEY DEE DOUBLE DARED ME!''' :'''Farmer Ben''': That dee double dare is so hard to resist. :'''Brother Bear''': I wanted to walk away. But then they called me chicken! I'm sorry, Farmer Ben. :'''Farmer Ben''': Well, it's okay, Brother. It's not your fault. I'm not going to call in and tell your parents about this one watermelon stealing mistake. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Brother comes back to Too-Tall, Smirk, and Skuzz with a watermelon slice that Farmer Ben gave him.]'' :'''Too-Tall''': Brother?! You got away with it! And you got the watermelon. :'''Skuzz''': Way to go. :'''Smirk''': You're the man! :'''Too-Tall''': Come on, we're going to have more fun at the Widder Jones' house. :'''Brother Bear''': No way. :'''Too-Tall''': ''[as he and his gang stops walking]'' Oh, really? well, I dare you to come with us. :'''Brother Bear''': Not this time. :'''Too-Tall''': Okay, then, I double dare you. :'''Brother Bear''': Nope. Not interested. :'''Too-Tall''': What the matter? Chicken? :''[Smirk and Skuzz imitate chickens.]'' :'''Brother Bear''': I'm not [[w:chicken|chicken]], and I'm not a [[w:sheep|sheep]] either. :'''Too-Tall''': Okay Brother...! '''I DEE DOUBLE DARE YOU TO COME WITH US TO THE WIDDER JONES'S HOUSE!''' :'''Brother Bear''': That stuff may have worked before, but it won't now! :''[But Brother --considering the consequences if he goes-- says "No". That is, after he says this. In the spite of that, he heads back to the treehouse.]'' :'''Brother Bear''': See you later. I'm going home. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Farmer Ben''': ''[to the trio Too-Tall, Smirk, and Skuzz]'' '''TOO-TALL!''' :''[Farmer Ben, he approaches the gang.]'' :'''Farmer Ben''': ''[continues]'' '''IF I CATCH YOU OR ANY OF YOUR GANG IN MY WATERMELON PATCH AGAIN, YOUR PARENTS ARE GOING TO HEAR FROM ME! NOW GET ON HOME!''' :'''Smirk''': ''[stammers heavily]'' We're sorry, Farmer Ben. :'''Skuzz''': ''[also stammering heavily]'' Thank you, Farmer Ben. It'll never happen again. :'''Too-Tall''': Please don't tell our parents! :'''Too-Tall, Smirk, and Skuzz''': ''[all screaming]'' MOMMY DADDY? :'''Farmer Ben''': ''[chuckles]'' Those cubs make my chickens look tough. :''[In the book adaptation, it was Two-Ton Grizzly --Too-Tall's papa-- who saved Brother. The narration of the page reads, "He looked like Too-Tall. But he was much, much, much bigger. It was Too-Tall's papa Two-Ton Grizzly. 'Wha, wha, what is up, Pop?', asked Too-Tall. 'What is up', growled Two-Ton, 'it was a little phone call that I had from Farmer Ben about you!'. 'And', he added as he turned to the gang, 'if I hear about any more shenanigans, all of your parents are going to hear from me! Now get on home!'". But in the cartoon, Farmer Ben saved Brother. And he was the one who talked to Too-Tall, Smirk, and Skuzz about the dee-double dare incident. However, in both adaptations, the "warning" phrase was the same --Two-Ton in the book/Farmer Ben in the cartoon-- which was, "...all of your parents are going to hear from me!". In this version --the book-- Farmer Ben said, "TOO-TALL, SMIRK, AND SKUZZ! IF I EVER CATCH YOU IN MY WATERMELON PATCH AGAIN, ALL OF YOUR PARENTS ARE GOING TO HEAR FROM ME! NOW GET ON HOME!".) ===''Out For The Team / Count Their Blessings'' [1.7]=== :'''Lenny''': Wouldn't it be funny if Sister made the team and you didn't? :''[Brother falls into a pond. Sister Lenny and Lizzy rush over to him]'' :'''Sister Bear''': Are you okay, Brother? :'''Brother Bear''': Yes. :'''Lenny''': Smooth move, Brother! :'''Brother Bear''': I won't have to worry about [[w:pond|ponds]], [[w:chicken|chickens]], and baseball-eating [[w:goat|goats]] when I make the [[w:cardinal|Cardinals]]! :'''Lenny''': You mean ''if'' you make the Cardinals. <hr width= "50%"/> :'''Brother Bear''': Why did Sister sign up for baseball tryouts anyway? Why couldn't she be good at something else? Baseball's my game, not hers. :'''Sister Bear''': Hey! I thought you couldn't lift your arm! :'''Brother Bear''': Huh? Oh no. It's my left arm that hurts. :'''Sister Bear''': No, it isn't. :'''Brother Bear''': Yes, it is. I should know it's my arm. :'''Sister Bear''': I'm going to ask Mama. She'll remember. :'''Brother Bear''': Wait, wait. ''[sighs]'' Okay, I was faking. :'''Sister Bear''': You were? Why? :'''Brother Bear''': If you really want to know, it's because i'm afraid you're going to make the team and not me. :'''Sister Bear''': Do you really think I'm that good? :'''Brother Bear''': You really improved this season. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Papa Bear''': Well, Mama. It feels good to have raised two star athletes! :'''Mama Bear''': It sure does, Papa. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Mama Bear''': I know what I'm going to have to listen to when Sister gets home: "Gee, Mama, Lizzie has so many Bearbie dolls. She even has Cruise Ship Bearbie with outfits. Why can't I have more Bearbies than one? And that's just Lizzie." :'''Papa Bear''': Hmm, talking to yourself, huh? Certainly not a very good sign. You're being silly. :'''Mama Bear''': ''[sighs]'' You're right. I am being silly. But Sister is playing Bearbies with Lizzy again and I know exactly what's going to happen when she gets home. :'''Papa Bear''': Oh, what's that? :'''Mama Bear''': It's the same every time. She complains she doesn't have all the things her friends have. With Lizzie, it's Bearbies. With Anna, it's a phone in her bedroom. And Queenie has a TV and a phone in her room. :'''Papa Bear''': Hey, I don't even have a TV in my room! Hmm. But Sister does have a Bearbie and a whole lot of things her friends don't have. :'''Mama Bear''': I know, but she just thinks about what she doesn't have. :'''Papa Bear''': And I suppose it won't be as much different with Brother when he gets home from Cousin Fred's. :'''Mama Bear''': We'll hear all about the video games Freddy has. :'''Papa Bear''': Right, but he won't talk about the soccer ball or action figures he does have. :'''Mama Bear''': Never mind the large pile of comic books up in his room. :'''Papa Bear''': Nope, he won't mention those at all. :'''Mama Bear''': Oh, you missed a spot. :'''Papa Bear''': Hey! How did I end up with this job? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Papa Bear''': Cubs... Cubs... Cubs! :'''Mama Bear''': Listen to yourselves. All you can do is complain about what you don't have. :'''Papa Bear''': What about being thankful for all the things you do have? :'''Cubs''': Huh? :'''Mama Bear''': It's called counting your blessings. :'''Sister Bear''': Blessings? :'''Brother Bear''': Like what? ===''The Slumber Party / The Homework Hassle'' [1.8]=== :'''Queenie''': Did I hear you say you're having a [[w:slumber party|slumber party]]? Can I come? :'''Lizzy''': Sure you can come. What's one more? <hr width="50%"/> :''[Sister arrives to Lizzy's house for her slumber party and rings the doorbell. Lizzy opens the door with a teenage bear named Cindy.]'' :'''Sister Bear''': Hi, Lizzy! I... ''[looks at the Cindy]'' Who are you? :'''Lizzy''': Hi, Sister. ''[introducing Cindy]'' This is Cindy. :'''Cindy''': Hello. :'''Sister Bear''': Did you invite her too? :'''Lizzy''': No. My mama and papa have gone out tonight. So Cindy is babysitting. :'''Sister Bear''': ''[gasps]'' Does that mean there's no slumber party?? :'''Cindy''': Mr. and Mrs. Bruin said a slumber party will be okay since it's only a few girls, and I thought it would be fun. We used to have sleepovers all the time when I was a cub. There used to be a lot more giggling than sleeping. :''[The doorbell rings]'' :'''Lizzy''': Hi, Stacey. Hi, Karen. :'''Stacey''': Hello, Lizzy. :'''Cindy''': Stacey? Karen? I thought you it was Anna and Millie who were coming. :'''Lizzy''': Anna and Millie. :'''Sister Bear''': And Stacey and Karen. :''[The doorbell rings again]'' :'''Queenie''': Hi, I'm Queenie. :'''Cindy''': How many girls did you invite? :''[The scene cuts to the living room where the cubs are hanging out]'' :'''Linda''': Tag, Gwen! You're it! :''[Linda and Gwen are playing tag, and they bump onto a stool with a picture frame and a clock. They almost fall, but Cindy catches them.]'' :'''Cindy''': Please no running in the house! :'''Lizzy''': [[w:popcorn|Popcorn's]] ready! :'''Queenie''': Hmm, pretty good! Have some! :''[Queenie starts throwing popcorn at Lizzy and Lizzy throws the popcorn back]'' :'''Lizzy''': Have some more, Queenie! :'''Sister Bear''': I don't think you should throw that anymore. :''[Lizzy and Queenie throw popcorn at Sister and they start a popcorn fight.]'' :'''Cindy''': No throwing! :''[The cubs are having a pillow fight and Millie accidentally knocks over Sister.]'' :'''Sister Bear''': Hey! No fair! :''[The cubs look shocked about what happened. Sister smiles regardless and joins in the pillow fight.]'' :'''Sister Bear''': Take that! :'''Cindy''': Please don't hit each other! I know it's in fun, but it is not very.... :''[Sister hits Millie with her pillow must be ripped and Queenie opens a soda aluminum can and it fizzies.]'' :'''Queenie''': Uh-oh! :'''Stacey''': Don't just let it fizz, Queenie! :''[Queenie sprays the soda on Stacey.]'' :'''Queenie''': Whoa! :'''Stacey''': Hey! Stop it! :''[Too-Tall, Smirk and Skuzz burst in]'' :'''Too-Tall''': It looks like we arrived just in time! The party's just getting started! :''[The cubs start jumping on the couch, Since Sister realizes it looks so much fun, she decides to join in.]'' :'''Smirk''': I love a parade! :'''Cindy''': Can you please turn the music down? :'''Too-Tall''': I can't hear you! The music's too loud! :'''Cindy''': That's what I mean! Turn it down! :'''Too-Tall''': What? :'''Cindy''': ''[grunts in frustration.]'' '''QUIET!''' :''[Mr. and Mrs. Bruin arrived home. They're were terrified to find out the mess that Too-Tall, Smirk, Skuzz and the girls made. Then they glare at the Sister, Lizzy, the other girls, and --the bullies-- Too-Tall, Smirk and Skuzz. Sister and Lizzy guiltily shrug. The scene cuts to outside at nighttime. The sleepover was cancelled, Mr. and Mrs. Bruin called the cub's parents offscreen, Lizzy was sent to bed, and Mama Bear came to take Sister home. The mothers of Sister, the other girls, and --the bullies-- Too-Tall, Smirk and Skuzz --who attended the sleepover at Lizzy's house-- they scowl at them. That is, as the viewer sees the mothers scowling at them when they pick them up. Echoing from the book, the book version says, "Well, things calmed down pretty quickly after that. The party was cancelled, parents were called, Lizzy was sent to bed - and an angry and disappointed Mama Bear came to take Sister home". As they walk home from Lizzy's house and into the night...!]'' :'''Mama Bear''': ''[scolds Sister]'' '''SISTER, I AM SO ANGRY AND DISAPPOINTED!''' :''[The scene cuts to the treehouse as Mama leads Sister into the treehouse.]'' :'''Mama Bear''': ''[continues]'' '''YOU ARE GROUNDED, YOUNG LADY! ONE DAY IN YOUR ROOM AND ONE FULL WEEK IN THE HOUSE!''' :''[After Mama leads Sister inside, Sister sadly walks upstairs to her room. Echoing from the book, Sister was doubly grounded. That is, meaning that she was in her room for one day and in the house for one full week. In the book version, it says, "Sister was grounded --doubly grounded-- and sent to bed. That is, which means that she had to stay in her room for one day and in the house for a week".]'' :'''Papa Bear''': That bad, huh? :'''Mama Bear''': You should've seen the place! Popcorn stuck to everything, [[w:juice|juice]] spills all over the [[w:carpet|carpet]], [[w:furniture|furniture]] knocked this way and that! It was an absolute disgrace! Everything I said about privilege and responsibility! In one year and out the other! :'''Papa Bear''': Sister does have to share the blame. But it sounds like there were quite a few at this slumber party. Hmm, maybe it was one of those situations where one thing led to another and things got out of control. I’m sure it wouldn't have gotten out of hand if the Bruins had been home. :'''Mama Bear''': If we knew they were going out, we could’ve suggested that Sister attended a sleepover some other time or that the girls had the sleepover here. :'''Papa Bear''': Hmm, but we didn’t. It was our responsibility to call them. And part of the responsibility that comes with the privilege of having cubs. :'''Mama Bear''': So we’re partially to blame. :'''Papa Bear''': I guess both privilege and responsibility go for parents as well as for cubs. :'''Sister Bear''': ''[out of her room]'' Mama? I know you're really mad. And I know that what I did was wrong. But that's why I need to be not grounded, or maybe just for a little while tomorrow? <hr width="50%"/> :''[The girls make it up by cleaning the living room. Sister, Lizzy, and the other girls make it up. As for Too-Tall, Smirk and Skuzz, they were grounded by their parents. And they were forced to stay in their rooms for one day and in their treehouses until next Monday. They could only leave their houses to go to school and see their friends during school hours. Sister still makes up for it. In the meantime, Mr. and Mrs. Bruin call Sister and the other girls's parents for a clean-up after they caused the vandalism in their living room from the sleepover. Now the scene cuts to Sister, Lizzy and the other girls who are cleaning up Mr. and Mrs. Bruin's vandalized living room. Sister still makes up for it, even though she was still grounded in the house for the remainder of the week. That is, as well as Lizzy, the other girls, and Too-Tall, Smirk and Skuzz. Sister, she manages to help Lizzy and the other girls clean up. That is, despite the fact she was still grounded for the remainder of the week.]'' :'''Queenie''': This was a good idea for us all to come over and help clean up, Sister. :'''Lizzie''': Hey, I know! Everyone's doing such a good job, we should make this a clean up party! :'''Sister Bear''': Let's not, Lizzy. If you don't mind, I rather not hear the word "party" again for a long time. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Mama Bear''': ''[echoing the book the episode was based on]'' If you're a bear who loves TV, loud music, and fun, how are you going to get your homework done? <hr width="50%"/> :''[Mama after she finds garbage in Brother's brown backpack including a apple, banana and a sandwich picks up the letter and reads it. It's a letter from Teacher Bob.]'' :'''Letter From Teacher Bob''': ''I regret to report that Brother Bear has fallen too far behind with his homework.'' :''Please call me.'' :''Yours truly,'' :''Teacher Bob'' :'''Mama Bear''': Hmm. What this. A note? [reading the letter]'' ''From brother's teacher.'' :''I regret to inform you...'' :''[Mama pauses, looks at Papa, and then says...!]'' :'''Mama Bear''': Looks like you and I better have a talk with our son! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Papa Bear''': '''EARTH TO BROTHER! EARTH TO BROTHER! THIS IS YOUR PAPA SPEAKING!''' :'''Brother Bear''': Uh, Freddy. I gotta go. I'll call you later, bye. ''[hangs up the phone and looks at Papa]'' Were you saying something, Papa? I wasn't quite reading you. :'''Papa Bear''': ''[takes the headphones off Brother]'' '''YOU'RE NOT READING MUCH OF ANYTHING, ACCORDING TO THIS LETTER FROM YOUR TEACHER!''' :'''Brother Bear''': I, uh! :'''Papa Bear''': ''[calmly, but sternly]'' It says here "You've fallen way behind in your [[w:homework|homework]]". :'''Sister Bear''': Maybe Brother's too busy with other things, like girls. :'''Brother Bear''': I am not! :'''Mama Bear''': Sister, that's quite enough. :'''Brother Bear''': Yes! Go and do your own homework! :'''Sister Bear''': I'm already done! :'''Brother Bear''': That's because your homework is easy! :'''Sister Bear''': '''IS NOT!''' :'''Brother Bear''': '''IS TOO!''' :'''Mama Bear''': Stop that now, both of you. Let's figure out what the problem is. :'''Brother Bear''': I'll tell you what the problem is: I have too much homework! There's English and math and there's science and history and... Oh...! Every subject for every day until it's coming out of my ears! :'''Papa Bear''': Is that so? Have you been doing your homework every day? :'''Brother Bear''': Well, ''[chuckles]'' not really. :'''Papa Bear''': If you do a little bit of homework every day, it wouldn't pile up to a [[w:mountain|mountain]] of work! And that is what you have here! (Be done with your homework too fast and you may still fall behind! That is, even if you get a 4.0 GPA on your report card on all 3 quarters --fall, winter and spring!) :'''Mama Bear''': I'm afraid Papa's right! So there are going to have to be some changes around here! :'''Brother Bear''': Like what? :'''Papa Bear''': Like no more [[w:music|music]], no more [[w:TV|TV]], no more talking on the [[w:phone|phone]]...! :'''Sister Bear''': What about [[w: video game|video games]], Papa? :'''Papa Bear''': And no more video games until you get caught up with your homework! :'''Brother Bear''': But you don't understand! That will take forever! :'''Papa Bear''': Then you better get started! (And no more getting done with your homework too fast! That is, or you are still put behind! You are behind, even if you get an "A" on your next report card!) :''[According to Papa's saying, Brother only has an "A" in fifth grade because he is passing his math, science, history, language arts and art tests. That is, without cheating. But according to Teacher Bob, in the spite of that, even if he --Brother-- gets a 4.0 GPA on his next report card, it still puts him behind. And he --for every subject except physical education-- still gets a "D" in fifth grade. That is, and if that keeps up --and if he doesn't pick up his grades to at least a "B"-- he might have to be held back in fifth grade and/or take summer school.) :'''Brother Bear''': Oh... :'''Papa Bear''': Where are you going? :'''Brother Bear''': I'm just going outside to see the sunlight and smell the fresh air one last time. <hr width="50%" /> :'''Gramps''': Well, you might ask Teacher Bob to give you a catch-up period. I think he should go along with that. He's a pretty good guy. :'''Brother Bear''': That's a good idea! But the first thing I have to do is go home and get some of it done today. :'''Gramps''': That's the spirit! :'''Brother Bear''': If Papa can do it, then so can I. ===''The Talent Show / The Haunted Lighthouse'' [1.9]=== :'''Teacher Bob''': I believe that everyone has a special talent, but sometimes it can take a little help to find out what it is. <hr> :'''Fuzzy''': ''[imitating a groundhog]'' Well? :'''Brother Bear''': A [[w:pig|pig]]? :'''Fuzzy''': [[w:groundhog|Groundhog]]. :'''Brother Bear''': Oh, yeah, groundhog, right. :'''Fuzzy''': Wait, wait, wait! How about this? ''[imitates a pig]'' :'''Brother Bear''': Uh, groundhog? :'''Fuzzy''': Pig! :'''Brother Bear''': Ah, great, Fuzzy. What other animal impressions can you do? :'''Fuzzy''': ''[gasps]'' That's it. :'''Brother Bear''': How about a [[w:cattle|cow]], or maybe a [[w:horse|horse]], or... :'''Fuzzy''': Nope, just groundhog and pig. [[w:pickle|Pickle]]? :'''Brother Bear''': Uh, no thanks. I'll get back to you, Fuzzy. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Brother Bear''': ''[to Too-Tall]'' You want to be in the talent show? :'''Cousin Fred''': Does having the hairiest knuckles count as a talent? :'''Too-Tall''': Very funny. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Brother Bear''': Hey! there's something outside! :'''Papa Bear''': Huh? :'''Mama Bear''': Huh? :''[They all look outside the window]'' :'''Brother Bear''': Really, something was there! I saw it! It was glowing. :'''Mama Bear''': ''[laughs]'' My guess would be it was your glowing imagination. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Sister Bear''': This looks like a job for... :'''Brother Bear and Sister Bear''': The Bear Detectives. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Captain Salt'''ː I am the ghost of the lighthouse keeper! I am... Uh-oh. ===''The Birthday Boy / The Green-Eyed Monster'' [1.10]=== :'''Sister Bear''': ''[Little Lady licks Papa's video camera while Sister is using to do a movie about Brother for her school project]'' Little Lady, no! Hey! No! Stop! :'''Lizzie''': Maybe you can make a movie about Brother. :'''Sister Bear''': What's so special about him? He's just a brother. <hr width=“50%”/> :'''Cindy''': My [[w:dog|dog]]'s a special member in my family. Do dogs count? :'''Lizzy''': I once saw a [[w:horse|horse]] at the circus that could count. :'''Teacher Jane''': No dogs or horses. :'''Cindy''': What about [[w:cat|cats]]? :'''Teacher Jane''': No dogs, cats, horses [[w:turtle|turtles]], [[w:frog|frogs]] or [[w:fish|fish]]. Only mamas papas sisters brothers or other bears in your family. <hr width=“50%”/> :'''Sister Bear''': Mama, I have to do a project for school about a member of my family. I was thinking about making a movie about you or Papa. :'''Papa Bear''': A movie, huh? That sounds like fun. But we are sort of busy. :'''Mama Bear''': There's a lot to do before Brother's party tomorrow. Why don't you make your movie about him? :'''Sister Bear''': Brother? :'''Brother Bear''': Did somebody call me? :'''Papa Bear''': Hey, no peeking! :'''Brother Bear''': Aw! I'm going to Cousin Fred's! See you later! :'''Mama Bear''': No skateboarding in the house! And be home for dinner! :'''Brother Bear''': Okay! :'''Sister Bear''': There's nothing special about him. He's just my brother. :'''Mama Bear ''': You might be surprised. <hr width="50%"/> :''[The next day is Brother's birthday. After singing happy birthday, Brother is opening his gifts.]'' :'''Brother Bear''': Wow! A new [[w:basketball|basketball]]! Thanks! Nice wrapping job, Papa. :''' Sister Bear''': Happy Birthday, Brother! :'''Brother Bear''': I bet I know what this is! My very favorite movie of all time! Bear Force 1! :'''Sister Bear''': ''[chuckles]'' Nope. :'''Brother Bear''': Grizzly Justice? :'''Sister Bear''': ''[nods her head no as it's neither of those.]'' It's called My hero The birthday boy. :'''Mama Bear''': Why don't we watch it? :'''Brother Bear''': Uh.. ''[chuckles nervously]'' Gee. I really don't know if... :'''Everyone''': Show it! Show it! Show it! :''[The scene cuts to Brother, Sister, Mama, Papa, Lizzy, Cousin Freddy and Fuzzy watching the video tape Sister created]'' :'''Sister Bear''': ''[on the TV]'' He's the best Brother anyone could have in the whole wide world. He's my hero. :''[Everyone claps for Sister]'' :'''Brother Bear''': That was great, Sister. Thanks. ''[kisses Sister]'' :'''Mama Bear''': Showing someone how you feel about them can be the greatest gift of all. :'''Papa Bear''': And you don't even have to wrap it. :''[Sister takes the video tape out of the DVD player]'' :'''Brother Bear''': You're taking back my present? :'''Sister Bear''': Just for a little bit. I have to take it to class to show Teacher Jane. :'''Brother Bear''': Well, I don't know what grade you'll get from her, but from me you get an A+. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Papa Bear''': Your car is running, Mr. Bruin. :'''Mr. Bruin''': Yes, I guess I should be happy it's running at all. :'''Mama Bear''': No, Mr. Bruin, he means it's running away! :'''Mr Bruin''': What? ''[realizes his car is rolling down hill]'' Oh no! Not again! Gotta go! I'll pick you up later, Lizzie! :'''Lizzie''': Okay, bye, Papa! ''[to Sister]'' Maybe after Brother is finished riding his [[w: bicycle|bike]], you can borrow it, and I can ride your bike. :'''Sister Bear''': Probably not. Brother doesn't let anyone ride his bike. Not even me! :'''Brother Bear''': ''[imitating a car while riding his bike around the front yard but is about to fall off because it's outgrown. Luckily Papa catches Brother]'' '''WHOA!''' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Sister Bear''': Is the green-eyed monster still knocking, Papa? :'''Papa Bear''': Yes, but I'm not going to let him in. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Green-Eyed Monster''': ''[to Sister]'' Don't you think it's not fair that Brother gets the pretty bike and you get an old bike?! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Sister Bear''': I did it! ''[riding on Brother's bicycle]'' I knew this bike wasn't too big for... ''[realizes that she can't reach the pedals because the bike is too big]'' Uh-oh! ===''The Baby Chipmunk / The Wishing Star'' [1.11]=== :'''Sister Bear''': ''[to Brother about the chipmunk she found]'' It looks like a little [[w:mouse|mouse]]. :'''Brother Bear''': That's not a mouse, that's a [[w:chipmunk|chipmunk]]. :'''Papa Bear''': You're right, Brother. And a baby one too. It looks brand new. :'''Mama Bear''': His eyes are barely open. :'''Sister Bear''': A little baby! Aw! It's so cute! :'''Brother Bear''': And so teeny. :''[Sister tries to pet the chipmunk, but Papa stops her]'' :'''Papa Bear''': No, Sister. You shouldn't touch him. :'''Sister Bear''': But I want to take him into the house! :'''Papa Bear''': Chipmunks belong outdoors, not in the house. :'''Sister Bear''': But it's just a baby, Papa. :'''Papa Bear''': All the more reason to leave him outside. He belongs with his mama. We better move away so she can find her baby. :'''Sister Bear''' ''[sadly]'' Okay. ''[to the chipmunk]'' Bye-bye, baby chipmunk. :'''Brother Bear''': ''[offscreen]'' Come on, Sister! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Mama Bear''': It's going to be dark soon. :'''Sister Bear''': So can we take the chipmunk inside then? :'''Papa Bear''': ''[sternly]'' Now, Sister, remember what I said? Chipmunks belong outside. :'''Sister Bear''': I know, but he's just a little baby. :'''Papa Bear''': ''[looks at the stormy clouds]'' Well, it does look like [[w:rain|rain]]. Okay, but only because it's going to rain. :'''Sister Bear''': Yay! ''[hugs Papa]'' :'''Papa Bear''': And only for tonight. :'''Mama Bear''': We'll keep an eye out for his mama. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Sister Bear''': Mama, what do baby chipmunks eat? :'''Mama Bear''': Like most babies, they milk from their mamas. But since we don't have a mama chipmunk, we're going to have to improvise. Sister, you run upstairs to get one of your doll's baby bottles, ''[to Brother]'' And Brother, you find something for the chipmunk to sleep in. I'll fix him something to eat. :''[Mama goes in the kitchen to make something for the chipmunk]'' :'''Mama Bear''': ''[to the chipmunk]'' How does a little warm [[w:milk|milk]] and [[w:honey|honey]] sound? :'''Papa Bear''': Delicious! But I thought we were having [[w:maple|mapled]] cured [[w:salmon|salmon]] tonight. :'''Mama Bear''': ''[laughs]'' It's for the chipmunk, silly. :'''Papa Bear''': Well, in that case, milk and honey sounds fine. <hr width="50"/> :'''Sister Bear''': All Brown Eyes does is eat and sleep. :'''Mama Bear''': Well, that's what babies do. When they aren't eating and sleeping, ... :'''Sister Bear''': ''[giggles]'' They're sleeping and eating. :'''Mama Bear''': Exactly. :'''Sister Bear''': Babies and papas. :'''Papa Bear''': ''[offscreen]'' Hey! I heard that! :'''Sister Bear''': ''[giggles]'' I love you, Brown Eyes. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Mama Bear''': They say the first star you see at night you can make a wish on. That's why it's called the wishing star. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Papa Bear''': It's really amazing how hard work and determination can magically give you what you deserve. ===''Get the Gimmies / Lost In A Cave'' [1.12]=== :'''Mama Bear''': When a cub's behavior takes a turn for the worst, it's hard for parents to know what to do first. :'''Sister Bear''': Did you bring the shopping list, Papa? :'''Papa Bear''': ''[grabs the shopping list out]'' I got it right here. It's a long one today. :'''Sister Bear''': I hope the new [[w:peanut butter|peanut butter]] and [[w:jelly|jelly]] all-in one jar is on the list! :'''Brother Bear''': And the new purple catsup! :'''Papa Bear''': Purple catsup? Who ever heard of purple catsup? :'''Mama Bear''': If it's new, the cubs have heard of it. :'''Papa Bear''': ''[sighs]'' And want to buy it. :''[When they get in the store]'' :'''Mama Bear''': Now, remember what I told you in the car. We're here to buy groceries, that's all. So no asking for toys and treats. Is that understood? ''[realizes the cubs have wondered off]'' Huh? :'''Papa Bear''': Uh-oh, it looks like we're off to a bad start. :''[The cubs look at the vending machines filled with rainbow gob-busters, spy bear decoder rings and bearbie stickers.]'' :'''Brother Bear''': Wow! Rainbow gob-busters! :'''Sister Bear''': Cool! :'''Brother Bear''': Check this out, Sister! They have spy bear decoder rings! :'''Sister Bear''': And bearbie stickers! :''[Mama clears throat]'' :'''Brother Bear''': I want one of those [[w:ring|rings]], Mama. :'''Sister Bear''': I want some [[w:sticker|stickers]]. :'''Mama Bear''': What did I just tell you on the way here? :'''Brother Bear''': Uh... Um... Well, uh... :'''Sister Bear''': Um, I forget. :'''Mama Bear''': ''[sighs]'' That we're not here to buy treats. Now come along. ''[The cubs walk to Mama, and she looks at the donation displays]'' Why, isn't that nice? :'''Papa Bear''': Mm-hmm. It's a fine idea. :'''Brother Bear''': What's a fine idea? :'''Mama Bear''': The store has put these donation displays here to remind everyone to give to the different charities in our community. :'''Papa Bear''': You two might think about donating some of the toys you've outgrown to the Sick Cubs [[w: hospital|Hospital]]. :'''Brother Bear''': Hey! What's that? :'''Sister Bear''': Oh! :''[The cubs run to the treat place]'' :'''Brother Bear''': Look! New [[w: marshmallow|marshmallow]]-[[w: chocolate|chocolate]] bears! :''[Brother and Sister each take one marshmallow chocolate bear off the shelf]'' :'''Sister Bear''': Can we have one? Please, please! :'''Mama Bear''': You know the answer. Now put those back. :'''Brother Bear''': Aw, okay. ''[puts his marshmallow chocolate bear back on the shelf]'' :'''Sister Bear''': ''[sighs]'' Alright. ''[puts her marshmallow chocolate bear back on the shelf, then she and Brother sadly walk away]'' :'''Mama Bear''': I can see that this shopping trip is going to be the same as all the others. :'''Papa Bear''': Hmm! Marshmallow and chocolate. ''[Mama grabs his shoulder]'' Oh! :''[The scene cuts to Mama and Papa in an aisle of jars of honey]'' :'''Papa Bear''': Hmm, two jars of [[w:honey|honey]]! :'''Mama Bear''': Two? I only have one on my list. :'''Papa Bear''': We do go through a lot of honey, honey. :'''Mama Bear''': ''You'' go through a lot of honey, honey. I think one jar is enough. :'''Papa Bear''': ''[shows Mama a big jar of honey]'' How about this one? ''[licks his lips]'' :'''Mama Bear''': Papa! :'''Papa Bear''': ''[chuckles]'' Okay, it's true what they say about grocery shopping. ''[puts the big honey jar back]'' You should never do it on an empty stomach. :'''Brother Bear''': Wow! Neat! Glow-in-the-dark flyers! This would be lots of fun to play with at night! Can I get it? :'''Mama Bear''': No! I've told you not more than ten minutes ago that... :'''Sister Bear:''': ''[bringing a bouncy apple]'' Mama? Papa? Can I get this? :'''Papa Bear''': An [[w:apple|apple]]? Sure! :'''Sister Bear''': Thanks! ''[bounces the bouncy apple on the ground]'' :'''Papa Bear''': Oh, careful now! You'll bruise it! :'''Sister Bear''': ''[bounces the bouncy apple again]'' It's not a real apple, Papa. It's bouncy fruit. Neat, huh? They've got bouncy [[w:orange fruit|oranges]], bouncy [[w:pear|pears]] and bouncy [[w:banana|bananas]]. :'''Brother Bear''': Hey, if Sister can have bouncy fruit, then, ''[holds up the glow-in-the-dark flyer]'' then I can have this! :''[Mama takes the toys away from Brother and Sister.]'' :'''Mama Bear''': Now listen, you two. It's not your [[w:birthday|birthday]] and it's not [[w:Christmas|Christmas]] and it's not "Give Your Cubs a Treat" day, so you can put these toys back right now. :'''Cubs''': Aw! :'''Papa Bear''': Give Your Cubs a Treat Day? When's that? :'''Mama Bear''': There's no such thing. But the way Brother and Sister carry on, you think it was every day of the year. :''[The scene cuts to the checkout section, while Brother and Sister go and look at the candy aisle]'' :'''Sister Bear''': Mmm, look at all the [[w:candy|candy]]! :'''Brother Bear''': I know. It's hard to know what to pick. Ask Mama if we can get something. :'''Sister Bear''': You ask. :'''Brother Bear''': No, you ask. :'''Sister Bear''' We'll both ask. :'''Brother Bear''' Okay. :'''Cubs''' Mama, can we get something? :'''Mama Bear''' Yes you can. I forgot to pick up scouring pads. Could you hurry over to aisle 3 and get a package? :'''Cubs''': Aw! :''[The scene cuts to outside of the store]'' :'''Brother Bear''': Well, that was a fun trip. :'''Sister Bear''': I know. We spent all that time grocery shopping and all we got were groceries. :'''Brother Bear''': Wait a minute, look! :'''Guy''': Aw, come on, folks, Get your adorable kitty [[w:cat|cats]] here, folks! They're cute, they're cuddly, and they won't last long! :'''Papa Bear''': They won't last long, alright. They'll probably break in less than an hour. :'''Mama Bear''': Oh, Papa. :'''Brother Bear''': I want one, mister! :'''Sister Bear''': Me too! :'''Guy''': Here you go, cubs. :'''Brother Bear''': These are great! :'''Sister Bear''': These are cool! :'''Papa Bear''': Now, just hold on! We didn't come here to buy toys. :'''Mama Bear''': Papa's right. Remember what I told you about buying toys and treats? :'''Brother Bear''': But that was when we were getting our groceries. We're finished now. :'''Sister Bear''': And look at how cute they are! Please, please, please! Can we get one? :'''Guy''': Oh, come on, folks. Why don't you buy your cubs a treat? :'''Sister Bear''': Oh, Papa, I'd appreciate it ever, ever so much! :'''Woman''': Oh, my, she is such an adorable little cub! :'''Man''': How could you say no to a face like that? :'''Papa Bear''': But... I... '''OH! ALL RIGHT!''' ''[grumbles while giving the guy money]'' :'''Guy''': Thank you very much, sir, and have a great day. :'''Papa Bear''': You’re welcome. :'''Brother Bear''': Thanks, Papa! :'''Sister Bear''': Thank you, Papa! :''[Go back home.]'' :'''Papa Bear''': Of all the shameful, embarrassing, outrageous behavior, that was the worst case of the galloping gimmies I have ever seen! :'''Mama Bear''': You're right, Papa, but perhaps it's partly our fault for giving in. :'''Papa Bear''': Well, what more could we do with all those strangers staring at us? I think it's time we had a talk with our cubs. ''[The cubs walk upstairs. But Papa calls for them; offscreen]'' Brother! Sister! :'''Cubs''': Yes, Papa? :'''Papa Bear''': ''[offscreen]'' Into the living room, please. It's time for a family meeting. :''[The scene cuts to the cubs in the living room, seeing Papa for a family meeting.]'' :'''Papa Bear''': There are more important things in this world than getting as many treats that you can get your hands on. Greedy cubs who only think of themselves can never really be happy. Do you know why? :'''Cubs''': No. :'''Papa Bear''': Because you can't have everything you want in life all the time. Do you understand? :'''Cubs''': Yes. :'''Mama Bear''': And furthermore, sometimes it's good to think of others instead of just yourselves. :'''Sister Bear''': Okay. :'''Brother Bear''': We will. :'''Papa Bear''': Good! :''[Gran and Gramps arrive to visit]'' :'''Mama Bear''': Oh, Gran and Gramps are here! :'''[The cubs gasp in excitement, and they run towards the door to ask Gramps and Gran if they brought them anything]'' :'''Gramps''': Hi, there! :'''Brother Bear''': What did you bring us? :'''Sister Bear''': Yeah, what did you bring us? :'''Papa Bear''': ''[scolds the cubs]'' '''I can't believe you two! You didn't even say hello. "NOW THAT'S IT! UP TO YOUR ROOM!''' ''[Brother and Sister sadly head upstairs to their room]'' '''AND THERE WILL BE NO TREATS FOR A WEEK! A MONTH! A YEAR!''' :'''Gramps''': Son, you having a bad day? :'''Papa Bear''': I'm sorry about the unpleasant welcome, but Sister and Brother have had a bad case of the greedy galloping gimmies. :'''Mama Bear''': Oh, the worst case yet! :'''Gramps''': Worst case, huh? I think I have seen worse. :'''Papa Bear''': Well, I am not quite surprised. They've probably made quite a spectacle of themselves over at your house. :'''Gramps''': I was talking about you, actually. :'''Papa Bear''': Me? I had the gimmies? :''[Brother and Sister are out of their rooms, wondering what Mama, Papa, Gran, and Gramps are talking about.]'' :'''Brother Bear''': Papa had the gimmies? :'''Gramps''': Yep, I am afraid it's true. But you turned around, eventually. :'''Gran''': I remember the day it happened. :'''Gramps''': So do I. It was at old Rufe Grizzly's General Store. ''[Cut to a flashback]'' We were buying our groceries, and you got the gimmies. :'''Gran''': You made such a fuss over a truck that it was downright embarrassing. :''[Cut back to reality]'' :'''Brother Bear''': Like how we fussed about those kitty cats. :'''Sister Bear''': And embarrassed Papa. :'''Papa Bear''': Well, I am glad that you didn't give in. :'''Gramps''': Oh, I am afraid that we did. :'''Papa Bear''': Oh? :''[Cut back to the flashback]'' :'''Gramps''': You got what you wanted that day. But then, as we were leaving, you noticed a family that barely had enough to put food on the counter. Seeing those folks and how little they had somehow got you to thinking. :''[The flashback ends]'' :'''Papa Bear''': And I gave that cub my [[w:truck|truck]]! I remember that! :'''Mama Bear''': Oh, I love that story! :'''Sister Bear''': ''[out loud]'' Me too! Oops. :'''Brother Bear''': We're sorry about how we acted. :'''Sister Bear''': I wish we could just start this whole day over again. :'''Gramps''': Well, we can start part of it over again. ''[to Gran]'' Step outside, dear. :'''Gran''': ''[chuckles]'' Alright. :''[Gramps and Gran walk outside and close the door. Then they knock on the door]'' :'''Mama Bear''': Oh, I wonder who that could be? :''[the cubs laugh]'' :'''Mama Bear''': ''[opens the door for Gramps and Gran]'' Well, look who's here. Gramps and Gran. :'''Brother Bear''': Hi, Gramps and Gran! :'''Sister Bear''': Hi, Gramps, hi Gran! :'''Gran''': Hello, everyone. :'''Brother Bear''': It sure is good to see you. :'''Sister Bear''': Yes, and if you brought us something, you can just leave it in the car because we're not even thinking about it. :''[Mama, Papa, Gramps, and Gran laugh]'' :'''Sister Bear''': What? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Papa Bear''': You never can tell what a cave is going to be like on the inside, just like from what it looks like on the outside. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Brother Bear''': Look! Wow! Real, live fossils. :'''Cousin Fred''': Maybe a million years ago they were alive! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Brother Bear''': Things that seem scary really aren't, once you know what they really are. :'''Cousin Fred''': I know. There's a logical explanation for everything. :'''Brother Bear''': Exactly! ''[his voice echoes]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''Papa Bear''': Our string path turned into a spaghetti lunch for this goat! ===''Too Much Junk Food / Go To Camp'' [1.13]=== :'''Dr. Grizzly''': Exercise is an important part of a healthy lifestyle. :'''Papa Bear''': ''[panting]'' I agree with you, one hundred percent. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Sister Bear''': ''[panting]'' Gees, I don't get this tired when I play [[w:baseball|baseball]]. :'''Brother Bear''': Well, you're running much farther than second base, Sis. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Brother Bear''': What about Sugarballs? :'''Sister Bear''': And Choco Chums? :'''Papa Bear''': And Sweetsie [[w:cola|Cola]]? :'''Dr. Grizzly''': Sweets and goodies don't give you the kind of nourishment your body needs. :'''Sister Bear''': Are they bad for us? :'''Dr. Grizzly''': Having treats occasionally is fine. If you have too much, they fill you up and you're not hungry for the healthy foods your body needs. :'''Papa Bear''': Well cubs, it's time for us to get our [[w:train|trains]] back on the track. :'''Sister Bear''': You're right, Papa. ''[Sister starts chugging and whistling like a train]'' :'''Papa Bear''': Whoo-whoo! ''[looking back toward Brother; chuckles]'' Get on board, son. Whoo-whoo! :'''Brother Bear''': I... I think I'll walk. I need the exercise. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Papa Bear''': I have an idea. Let's go home, celebrate by opening up the [[w:freezer|freezer]], and... :'''Mama Bear''': ''[cuts him off]'' Uh-uh-uh, it's far too easy to fall back into the junk food habit. :'''Brother Bear''': We'll celebrate with carrot sticks. :'''Sister Bear''': And nuts and raisins. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Sister Bear''': Do you think this sleep-out is a good idea? :'''Brother Bear''': No. :'''Sister Bear''': Oh, good. :'''Brother Bear''': I think it's a great idea! ==External links== {{wikipedia|The Berenstain Bears (2003 TV series)}} [[Category:The Berenstain Bears (2003 TV series) seasons|1]] [[Category:PBS Kids Tv Shows]] 039cv9vzonx7dican6f6zc6jyebqj8l 0 229310 3942161 3832595 2026-05-17T20:28:22Z ~2026-20999-95 3307971 3942161 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} [[File:Invasion of the Bunny Snatchers title card.png|thumb|Title card]] '''''[[w:Invasion of the Bunny Snatchers|Invasion of the Bunny Snatchers]]''''' is a Bugs Bunny short subject directed by [[w:Greg Ford|Greg Ford]] and Terry Lennon and released in 1992. The cartoon was intended for theatrical release but eventually aired as part of the television special Bugs Bunny's Creature Features. Its premise is modeled after the 1956 film ''[[Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956 film)|Invasion of the Body Snatchers]]'', and it is a lampoon of cheaply-drawn animation. This was featured in ''[[Bugs Bunny's Creature Features]]''. == Bugs Bunny == * ''[narrating]'' It all began in a vast uncharted region of outer space, a whole flock of strange looking carrots drifting in space for billions of years were floating down toward the earth. But, I didn't know at the time, as far as I was concerned, it was just another typical day, except that I was late for work. * Ya know something, Folks. This is the scariest part of the picture! * Wait! Hold it! Ya didn't think I was gonna let it end that way, did ya? == Dialogue == :'''Bugs''': Morning, already? ''[looks at the time]'' Gosh! I must've overslept! He'll be here any minute! :''[Bugs rushes off to get ready. At that moment, Elmer Fudd arrived. Bugs takes the alternate exit.]'' :'''Elmer Fudd''': Suwwender, wabbit, or be bwown in a million wabbit smitheweens! Come on out, you cawwot chewing wascal! I'll get you if it's the wast thing I do! :'''Bugs''': Eh. What's up, doc? :'''Elmer Fudd''': Thewe's a wabbit down thewe! And I'm twying to catch him to put him in a wabbit stew. <hr width=50%> :'''Bugs''': Another new day and I'm full of pep. :'''Elmer Fudd''': Come out of there, you wetch! :'''Bugs''': ''[climbs the ladder]'' Gee. It's great to have friends! :'''Elmer Fudd''': Say your pwayers, wabbit! ''[Bugs shoves his carrot into Elmer's gun]'' Ohhh, you mean old, wotten old... :'''Bugs''': He likes me! He really likes me! :'''Elmer Fudd''': I'll get you if it's the last thing I do! :''[At the desert...]'' :'''Bugs''': I never realized how lucky I was that so many people wanted to kill me! :''[Bugs gave Sam and anvil and he falls off a cliff. Later...]'' :'''Bugs''': Duck season! :'''Daffy''': Rabbit season! :'''Bugs''': Duck season! :'''Daffy''': Rabbit season! :'''Bugs''': Rabbit season! :'''Daffy''': I say it's duck season! And I say "FIRE"! :''[The hunters shoot Daffy.]'' :'''Bugs''': Ah. It's a wonderful life! :'''Daffy''': You're unspeakably despicable! :''[The scene irises out on Bugs Bunny.]'' == Cast == * [[w:Jeff Bergman|Jeff Bergman]] - [[Bugs Bunny]], [[Daffy Duck]], [[w:Elmer Fudd|Elmer Fudd]], [[w:Yosemite Sam|Yosemite Sam]], and [[Porky Pig]] * [[w:Thurl Ravenscroft|Thurl Ravenscroft]] - the Black Hole (uncredited) == External links == {{wikipedia}} *{{IMDb title|0104527}} {{Looney Tunes}} [[Category:1992 animated films]] [[Category:American animated short films]] [[Category:Traditionally animated short films]] [[Category:Children's animated comedy short films]] [[Category:Children's animated fantasy short films]] [[Category: Bugs Bunny cartoons]] [[Category: Elmer Fudd cartoons]] [[Category: Yosemite Sam cartoons]] [[Category: Daffy Duck cartoons]] 8dak143asgav3ym634g9iucy0813hzl 0 229398 3942171 3941940 2026-05-17T20:54:47Z ~2026-29669-14 3323743 3942171 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom|Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom]]''''' (2008–2013 (produced); 2009-2014 (aired)) is a English language British 2D animated (CelAction2D (2D Flash animation/Rigged puppet animation/Digital 2D animation/Cutout animation/Puppet animation)) preschool educational children's fantasy comedy television series aimed at babies, toddlers, preschoolers, and very youngest children, and originally broadcast on Nickelodeon (Nick Jr.) in English, in the United Kingdom, and in Irish, in Ireland, and Five (Series 1) (2008-2011)/Channel 5 (Series 2) (2011-2014) (Milkshake! (Series 1-2) (2008-2014)) in English, in the United Kingdom. The show was produced by Astley Baker Davies (Series 1-2) (2008-2014) Contender, Ltd./Contender Entertainment Group (Series 1) (2008-2009), Rubber Duck Entertainment (Series 1) (2008-2009), E1 Entertainment (Series 1) (2009-2010)/Entertainment One/eOne (Series 1-2) (2010-2014), E1 Entertainment (UK) (Series 1) (2009-2010)/Entertainment One (UK) (Series 1-2) (2010-2014), E1 Kids (Series 1) (2009-2010)/Entertainment One Family/eOne Family (Series 1-2) (2010-2014), E1 Entertainment Television (Series 1) (2009-2010)/Entertainment One Television (Series 1-2) (2010-2014), The Elf Factory (Series 1-2) (2008-2014), and distributed by Contender, Ltd./Contender Entertainment Group (Series 1) (2008-2009), Rubber Duck Entertainment (Series 1) (2008-2009), E1 Entertainment (Series 1) (2009-2010)/Entertainment One/eOne (Series 1-2) (2010-2014), E1 Entertainment (UK) (Series 1) (2009-2010)/Entertainment One (UK) (Series 1-2) (2010-2014), E1 Kids (Series 1) (2009-2010)/Entertainment One Family/eOne Family (Series 1-2) (2010-2014), E1 Entertainment Television (Series 1) (2009-2010)/Entertainment One Television (Series 1-2) (2010-2014), and was debuted on April 6, 2009, and ended on December 24, 2013. For the current series that aired on [[w:5 (British TV channel)|5]], see ''[[Peppa Pig]]''. ==Opening== :'''Narrator''': Somewhere, hidden amongst thorny brambles is a Little Kingdom of elves and fairies. Everyone who lives here is very, very small. :'''Ben''': I'm Ben Elf. :'''Holly''': And I'm Princess Holly. Come on, let's play! :'''Ben''': Wait for us! :'''Narrator''': [[w:Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom|Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom]]. ==Season 1 (2008-2011)== ===''Holly's Magic Wand''=== :'''Holly''': I'm sure I left my wand here. It's gone! ''[Holly is crying.]'' :'''Ben''': Hi, Holly. :'''Holly''': Hi, Ben. :'''Ben''': What's wrong? :'''Holly''': I've lost my wand. I can't do magic anymore. :'''Ben''': Maybe that's a good thing. :'''Holly''': It's not funny! I'm never going to find my wand and I'll be sad forever. ''[She cries again.]'' :'''Ben''': Cheer up, Holly. I will find your wand. :'''Holly''': How? :'''Ben''': Elves are very good at finding things, and I'm an elf. ''[blows trumpet]'' :'''Holly''': Thanks, Ben. ===''Elf Joke Day''=== :'''Holly''': Hi, Ben. :'''Ben''': Hi, Holly. I've got a new toy. :'''Holly''': What is it? :'''Ben''': It's a telescope. You can see things that are really far away. :'''Holly''': Wow! Can I have a go? :'''Ben''': ''[hands the telescope to Holly]'' Okay. :'''Holly''': ''[holds the telescope to her eye]'' I can't see anything. :'''Ben''': Try twisting it a bit. :'''Holly''': ''[twists the telescope a bit]'' It still doesn't work. ''[she puts the telescope off her eye, revealing a black ring around it]'' :''[Ben starts laughing.]'' :'''Holly''': Why are you laughing, Ben? :'''Ben''': It's a joke telescope! It gives you a black ring around your eye that makes you look really silly! Look! ''[grabs a spyglass to make Holly look at it]'' :'''Holly''': Ah! Why did you do that? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wise Old Elf''': ''[opening the door]'' Let's go and join in the fun! :'''Nanny Plum''': ''[screaming while breaking the toy mouse]'' Help! :'''Wise Old Elf''': ''[entering with Ben and Holly]'' Ho-ho-ho. Happy Elf Joke Day! :'''Nanny Plum''': That was not funny, Wise Old Elf. ===''Morning, Noon, and Night''=== :''[rooster crows]'' :'''Nanny Plum''': That's the cockerel crow, Princess Holly! Time for fairies to get up! ===''Betty Caterpillar''=== :'''Holly''': Look, Betty Caterpillar is sad. :''[Betty starts crying.]'' :'''Ben''': I think she feels a bit left out. ''[Gaston the Ladybird and Bobby the Bee are having fun flying. Betty is crying again.]'' I know how to cheer her up. :'''Holly''': Oh, good. Go on then, Ben. :'''Ben''': Don't be sad, Betty. Flying isn't everything. Elve's can't fly, and I'm an elf. ''[blows trumpet]'' :''[Betty cries again.]'' :'''Holly''': That didn't cheer her up much. ''[Betty cries once again.]'' Maybe I can make her fly by magic. :'''Ben''': Can you do that? :'''Holly''': Um, I think so. ===''Picnic on the Moon''=== :'''Narrator''': (''o.s.'') Today's adventure starts... In Outer Space! :''[The scene pans up to the moon, the title Picnic on the Moon appears.]'' :'''Ben and Holly''': (''o.s.'') Picnic on the Moon! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Nanny Plum''': That's the last straw. No water in the sea. And we can't eat food. What kind of picnic is this? :'''Mr. Elf''': ''[shouting]'' <big>'''''IT'S NOT A PICNIC!!!'''''</big> :'''Nanny Plum''': Ok, let's go home. ==Season 2 (2011-2014)== ===''Gaston to the Rescue''=== :'''King Thistle:''' Ewww, who let this smelly ladybird in the house?! :'''Queen Thistle:''' ''[screaming loudly]'' :'''King Thistle''': HOLLY!!!! :'''Holly''': Yes, Daddy? :'''King Thistle''': Please keep Gaston under control. :'''Holly''': Sorry, Daddy. :'''King Thistle''': We live in the castle, Gaston lives outside. :''[Gaston is whining.]'' :'''Ben''': Never mind, Gaston. Let's all go to the great elf tree instead. :'''Mr. Elf''': Mrs. Elf, that blueberry pie smells delicious. :'''Mrs. Elf''': Yes, Mr. Elf. The secret is to cook it very slowly over 3 days. :'''Ben''': Hello Mum! :'''Holly''': Hello! :'''Mrs. Elf''': Hello Ben, Hello Holly! :'''Mr. Elf''': Ah, Can't he shake himself outside? :'''Mrs. Elf''': That pie is not for you, Gaston! Now Ben, Gaston should live outside, we live inside. :'''Ben''': Okay, Mum. :'''Mr. Elf''': AGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!! Where's the pie gone?! :'''Mrs. Elf''': Gaston's eating it! :'''Holly''': We don't know it was Gaston. :'''Ben''': It could have been someone else. :'''Mrs. Elf''': He's the only one with pie on his face! :'''Mr. Elf''': <big> ''[crossly]'' Out Gaston, I never want to see you again.</big> :''[Gaston is whining.]'' :'''Ben''': Sorry, Gaston. :'''Holly''': You'd better go home. :'''Mrs. Elf''': Go on, Gaston! Off you go! :'''Queen Thistle''': Bedtime, Holly! ''[Holly sighs]'' Are you all right, darling? :'''Holly''': I'm a bit sad. Gaston isn't allowed in our houses anymore. ''[Gaston is howling.]'' Gaston! Oh, Gaston is all wet and cold. :'''King Thistle''': Gaston, go and make that rucket somewhere else! :'''Holly''': Poor Gaston. ''[rooster crowing]'' Gaston! ===''Nanny's Magic Test''=== :'''Wise Old Elf''': I am taking away your wand! :'''Nanny Plum''': You can't do that! :'''Wise Old Elf''': I just did. :'''Nanny Plum''': It's an outrage! The king will be very angry! :''[cut to the Little Castle]'' :'''King Thistle''': ''[laughing out loud]'' :'''Nanny Plum''': It's not funny! :'''King Thistle''': You're right, it's not funny. ''[keeps laughing]'' :'''Wise Old Elf''': Nanny does not have a license, she must not do magic! :'''King Thistle''': Yes, yes, Wise Old Elf. But maybe we can overlook it just this once as it's Nanny? ===''Dolly Plum''=== :'''Nanny Plum''': That's better. :''[Daisy and Poppy are crying again.]'' :'''Holly''': Now the twins are crying again. ===''Daisy and Poppy Go Bananas''=== :'''Queen and King Thistle''': ''[screaming]'' :'''King Thistle''': What on Earth is going on?! :'''Queen Thistle''': It's an indoor thunderstorm! :'''King Thistle''': I wonder if they had something to do with Granny. :''[rooster crows]'' ===''Gaston's Birthday''=== :'''King Thistle''': ''[sighing happily]'' I do like a nice relaxing bath. It's good to get away from all that talk about birthdays. :''[King Thistle hears splashing sounds.]'' :'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': Happy Birthday, your majesty! ''[he blows a party horn]'' :'''King Thistle''': ''[screaming loudly]'' Get out of my bath, and it's not my birthday! :'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': I know, this is a dry run. :'''King Thistle''': Now see here, I don't want any birthday stuff. :'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': ''[sighs]'' That's what you say every year. :'''King Thistle''': Look, I don't want a cake, I don't want a song, and I don't want a pirate in my bath! :'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': So, you really don't want a party? :'''King Thistle''': No, I don't want a party, not this year, not next year, and not at any year. Never, no more parties! ===''The Mermaid''=== :''[Holly, Ben, Nanny Plum, Gaston and Mr. Elf heard a distant crying noise.]'' :'''Holly''': Listen, somebody's crying! :''[It was Oceana, the mermaid, who lost her mirror, and is crying.]'' :'''Holly''': It's a girl! Hello, what are you doing in The Lake? :'''Oceana''': I live here. :'''Holly''': You live in The Lake? :'''Oceana''': Yes. I'm a mermaid. ''[dives to the sea and floats back up]'' My name is Oceana. :'''Holly''': Why were you crying? :'''Oceana''': l've lost my mirror. :'''Holly''': That must be the mirror Lucy found. :'''Oceana''': And where is this Lucy? :'''Holly''': She's a big girl, so she'll be on her way to school. ===''Ben & Holly's Christmas''=== ====Episode 1==== :'''Wise Old Elf''': Hello. We've come to see the Christmas trees. :'''Father Christmas''': Ho ho ho! :'''Man''': Hello, Father Christmas. I like the outfit. What fashion is it exactly? :'''Father Christmas''': Uh, It's meant to be a disguise. :'''Holly''': So many lovely Christmas trees. :'''Woman''': Yes, pine elves are very good at growing Christmas trees. :'''All''': And we're pine elves! ====Episode 2==== :'''King Thistle''': ''[gasps indignantly]'' ''[crossly]'' Oof, let me out….! ==Cast== *Preston Nyman - Ben *Sian Taylor - Holly *Taig McNab - Gaston ==External links== *{{imdb title|1436544|Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom}} {{wikipedia}} [[Category:2000s UK animated TV shows]] [[Category:2010s UK animated TV shows]] [[Category:Animated TV shows about children]] [[Category:Cancelled shows]] [[Category:Nick Jr. shows]] [[Category:Flash animated TV shows]] [[Category:Treehouse TV shows]] [[Category:UK children's animated comedy TV shows]] [[Category:UK children's animated fantasy TV shows]] [[Category:UK preschool education TV shows]] ix8q2sstxaw6tkvffyjbefzji4fqm3k 3942208 3942171 2026-05-17T22:39:21Z 03isrflo62410 1485946 This shit is literally useless, unnecessary bloat 3942208 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom|Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom]]'''''(2009–2013) is a British animated children's television series aimed at children originally broadcast on Nickelodeon UK. For the current series that aired on [[w:5 (British TV channel)|5]], see ''[[Peppa Pig]]''. ==Opening== :'''Narrator''': Somewhere, hidden amongst thorny brambles is a Little Kingdom of elves and fairies. Everyone who lives here is very, very small. :'''Ben''': I'm Ben Elf. :'''Holly''': And I'm Princess Holly. Come on, let's play! :'''Ben''': Wait for us! :'''Narrator''': [[w:Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom|Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom]]. ==Season 1 (2008-2011)== ===''Holly's Magic Wand''=== :'''Holly''': I'm sure I left my wand here. It's gone! ''[Holly is crying.]'' :'''Ben''': Hi, Holly. :'''Holly''': Hi, Ben. :'''Ben''': What's wrong? :'''Holly''': I've lost my wand. I can't do magic anymore. :'''Ben''': Maybe that's a good thing. :'''Holly''': It's not funny! I'm never going to find my wand and I'll be sad forever. ''[She cries again.]'' :'''Ben''': Cheer up, Holly. I will find your wand. :'''Holly''': How? :'''Ben''': Elves are very good at finding things, and I'm an elf. ''[blows trumpet]'' :'''Holly''': Thanks, Ben. ===''Elf Joke Day''=== :'''Holly''': Hi, Ben. :'''Ben''': Hi, Holly. I've got a new toy. :'''Holly''': What is it? :'''Ben''': It's a telescope. You can see things that are really far away. :'''Holly''': Wow! Can I have a go? :'''Ben''': ''[hands the telescope to Holly]'' Okay. :'''Holly''': ''[holds the telescope to her eye]'' I can't see anything. :'''Ben''': Try twisting it a bit. :'''Holly''': ''[twists the telescope a bit]'' It still doesn't work. ''[she puts the telescope off her eye, revealing a black ring around it]'' :''[Ben starts laughing.]'' :'''Holly''': Why are you laughing, Ben? :'''Ben''': It's a joke telescope! It gives you a black ring around your eye that makes you look really silly! Look! ''[grabs a spyglass to make Holly look at it]'' :'''Holly''': Ah! Why did you do that? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wise Old Elf''': ''[opening the door]'' Let's go and join in the fun! :'''Nanny Plum''': ''[screaming while breaking the toy mouse]'' Help! :'''Wise Old Elf''': ''[entering with Ben and Holly]'' Ho-ho-ho. Happy Elf Joke Day! :'''Nanny Plum''': That was not funny, Wise Old Elf. ===''Morning, Noon, and Night''=== :''[rooster crows]'' :'''Nanny Plum''': That's the cockerel crow, Princess Holly! Time for fairies to get up! ===''Betty Caterpillar''=== :'''Holly''': Look, Betty Caterpillar is sad. :''[Betty starts crying.]'' :'''Ben''': I think she feels a bit left out. ''[Gaston the Ladybird and Bobby the Bee are having fun flying. Betty is crying again.]'' I know how to cheer her up. :'''Holly''': Oh, good. Go on then, Ben. :'''Ben''': Don't be sad, Betty. Flying isn't everything. Elve's can't fly, and I'm an elf. ''[blows trumpet]'' :''[Betty cries again.]'' :'''Holly''': That didn't cheer her up much. ''[Betty cries once again.]'' Maybe I can make her fly by magic. :'''Ben''': Can you do that? :'''Holly''': Um, I think so. ===''Picnic on the Moon''=== :'''Narrator''': (''o.s.'') Today's adventure starts... In Outer Space! :''[The scene pans up to the moon, the title Picnic on the Moon appears.]'' :'''Ben and Holly''': (''o.s.'') Picnic on the Moon! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Nanny Plum''': That's the last straw. No water in the sea. And we can't eat food. What kind of picnic is this? :'''Mr. Elf''': ''[shouting]'' <big>'''''IT'S NOT A PICNIC!!!'''''</big> :'''Nanny Plum''': Ok, let's go home. ==Season 2 (2011-2014)== ===''Gaston to the Rescue''=== :'''King Thistle:''' Ewww, who let this smelly ladybird in the house?! :'''Queen Thistle:''' ''[screaming loudly]'' :'''King Thistle''': HOLLY!!!! :'''Holly''': Yes, Daddy? :'''King Thistle''': Please keep Gaston under control. :'''Holly''': Sorry, Daddy. :'''King Thistle''': We live in the castle, Gaston lives outside. :''[Gaston is whining.]'' :'''Ben''': Never mind, Gaston. Let's all go to the great elf tree instead. :'''Mr. Elf''': Mrs. Elf, that blueberry pie smells delicious. :'''Mrs. Elf''': Yes, Mr. Elf. The secret is to cook it very slowly over 3 days. :'''Ben''': Hello Mum! :'''Holly''': Hello! :'''Mrs. Elf''': Hello Ben, Hello Holly! :'''Mr. Elf''': Ah, Can't he shake himself outside? :'''Mrs. Elf''': That pie is not for you, Gaston! Now Ben, Gaston should live outside, we live inside. :'''Ben''': Okay, Mum. :'''Mr. Elf''': AGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!! Where's the pie gone?! :'''Mrs. Elf''': Gaston's eating it! :'''Holly''': We don't know it was Gaston. :'''Ben''': It could have been someone else. :'''Mrs. Elf''': He's the only one with pie on his face! :'''Mr. Elf''': <big> ''[crossly]'' Out Gaston, I never want to see you again.</big> :''[Gaston is whining.]'' :'''Ben''': Sorry, Gaston. :'''Holly''': You'd better go home. :'''Mrs. Elf''': Go on, Gaston! Off you go! :'''Queen Thistle''': Bedtime, Holly! ''[Holly sighs]'' Are you all right, darling? :'''Holly''': I'm a bit sad. Gaston isn't allowed in our houses anymore. ''[Gaston is howling.]'' Gaston! Oh, Gaston is all wet and cold. :'''King Thistle''': Gaston, go and make that rucket somewhere else! :'''Holly''': Poor Gaston. ''[rooster crowing]'' Gaston! ===''Nanny's Magic Test''=== :'''Wise Old Elf''': I am taking away your wand! :'''Nanny Plum''': You can't do that! :'''Wise Old Elf''': I just did. :'''Nanny Plum''': It's an outrage! The king will be very angry! :''[cut to the Little Castle]'' :'''King Thistle''': ''[laughing out loud]'' :'''Nanny Plum''': It's not funny! :'''King Thistle''': You're right, it's not funny. ''[keeps laughing]'' :'''Wise Old Elf''': Nanny does not have a license, she must not do magic! :'''King Thistle''': Yes, yes, Wise Old Elf. But maybe we can overlook it just this once as it's Nanny? ===''Dolly Plum''=== :'''Nanny Plum''': That's better. :''[Daisy and Poppy are crying again.]'' :'''Holly''': Now the twins are crying again. ===''Daisy and Poppy Go Bananas''=== :'''Queen and King Thistle''': ''[screaming]'' :'''King Thistle''': What on Earth is going on?! :'''Queen Thistle''': It's an indoor thunderstorm! :'''King Thistle''': I wonder if they had something to do with Granny. :''[rooster crows]'' ===''Gaston's Birthday''=== :'''King Thistle''': ''[sighing happily]'' I do like a nice relaxing bath. It's good to get away from all that talk about birthdays. :''[King Thistle hears splashing sounds.]'' :'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': Happy Birthday, your majesty! ''[he blows a party horn]'' :'''King Thistle''': ''[screaming loudly]'' Get out of my bath, and it's not my birthday! :'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': I know, this is a dry run. :'''King Thistle''': Now see here, I don't want any birthday stuff. :'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': ''[sighs]'' That's what you say every year. :'''King Thistle''': Look, I don't want a cake, I don't want a song, and I don't want a pirate in my bath! :'''Redbeard the Elf Pirate''': So, you really don't want a party? :'''King Thistle''': No, I don't want a party, not this year, not next year, and not at any year. Never, no more parties! ===''The Mermaid''=== :''[Holly, Ben, Nanny Plum, Gaston and Mr. Elf heard a distant crying noise.]'' :'''Holly''': Listen, somebody's crying! :''[It was Oceana, the mermaid, who lost her mirror, and is crying.]'' :'''Holly''': It's a girl! Hello, what are you doing in The Lake? :'''Oceana''': I live here. :'''Holly''': You live in The Lake? :'''Oceana''': Yes. I'm a mermaid. ''[dives to the sea and floats back up]'' My name is Oceana. :'''Holly''': Why were you crying? :'''Oceana''': l've lost my mirror. :'''Holly''': That must be the mirror Lucy found. :'''Oceana''': And where is this Lucy? :'''Holly''': She's a big girl, so she'll be on her way to school. ===''Ben & Holly's Christmas''=== ====Episode 1==== :'''Wise Old Elf''': Hello. We've come to see the Christmas trees. :'''Father Christmas''': Ho ho ho! :'''Man''': Hello, Father Christmas. I like the outfit. What fashion is it exactly? :'''Father Christmas''': Uh, It's meant to be a disguise. :'''Holly''': So many lovely Christmas trees. :'''Woman''': Yes, pine elves are very good at growing Christmas trees. :'''All''': And we're pine elves! ====Episode 2==== :'''King Thistle''': ''[gasps indignantly]'' ''[crossly]'' Oof, let me out….! ==Cast== *Preston Nyman - Ben *Sian Taylor - Holly *Taig McNab - Gaston ==External links== *{{imdb title|1436544|Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom}} {{wikipedia}} [[Category:2000s UK animated TV shows]] [[Category:2010s UK animated TV shows]] [[Category:Animated TV shows about children]] [[Category:Cancelled shows]] [[Category:Nick Jr. shows]] [[Category:Flash animated TV shows]] [[Category:Treehouse TV shows]] [[Category:UK children's animated comedy TV shows]] [[Category:UK children's animated fantasy TV shows]] [[Category:UK preschool education TV shows]] 6lc605igkbnjp1zl14age0hb39bkbeo 0 233143 3942160 3921917 2026-05-17T20:27:46Z ~2026-20999-95 3307971 3942160 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} [[File:Wet Hare title card.png|thumb|Title card]] '''''[[w:Wet Hare|Wet Hare]]''''' is a 1962 [[w:Warner Bros.|Warner Bros.]] ''[[w:Looney Tunes|Looney Tunes]]'' cartoon directed by [[w:Robert McKimson|Robert McKimson]]. The short was released on January 20, 1962, and stars [[w:Bugs Bunny|Bugs Bunny]]. In the cartoon, Bugs finds himself at odds with [[w:Blacque Jacque Shellacque|Blacque Jacque Shellacque]], a ruthless lumberjack with a [[w:French Canadian|French Canadian]] accent who wants to control the water supply by building a series of dams. The title is a pun on "[[w:hair|hair]]/[[w:hare|hare]]". == Bugs Bunny == * ''[last lines]'' He's not foolin' me--he'll be back... Like uh, in about 20 years! == External links == {{wikipedia}} * {{imdb title|0056686}} {{Looney Tunes}} [[Category:Bugs Bunny cartoons]] [[Category:Films directed by Robert McKimson]] [[Category:1962 animated films]] [[Category:American animated short films]] [[Category:Traditionally animated short films]] [[Category:Children's animated comedy short films]] [[Category:Children's animated fantasy short films]] foo09khzhsnbiri2ziqez9bhqlmqgo4 0 235736 3942187 3831324 2026-05-17T21:27:44Z ~2026-29780-67 3323761 /* Dialogue */ 3942187 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Head (film)|Head]]''''' is a [[w:1968 in film|1968]] American [[Satire|satirical]] [[w:Musical film|musical]] [[w:adventure film|adventure film]] in which [[w:The Monkees|The Monkees]] are tossed about in a psychedelic, surrealist, plotless, circular bit of fun fluff. :''Directed by [[w:Bob Rafelson|Bob Rafelson]]. Written by [[Jack Nicholson]] and Bob Rafelson. {{center/s}}'''What is HEAD all about? Only John Brockman's shrink knows for sure!'''{{center/e}} == The Monkees == * ''[chanted in unison]'' Hey hey we are the Monkees, you know we aim to please. A manufactured image with no philosophies. * Hey, hey, we are The Monkees; We've said it all before; The money's in, we're made of tin; we're here to give you more; The money's in, we're made of tin, we're here to give you... == Peter Tork == * Well, let me tell you one thing son. Nobody ever lends money to a man with a sense of humor. == Davy Jones == * ''[choosing Sonny Liston to box against]'' Great, I'll have a go at him. You won't hurt my face, will ya? Million dollar head, this. == Mike Nesmith == * Okay. You think they call us plastic now, babe, but wait 'til I get through telling them how we do it. == Lord High 'n' Low == * Anyway, the idea is this: byproducts. Imagine Italians. Blonde wigs for kids! Swords! The whole phallic thing is happening! I mean, why don't we use CLASSIC things? MILLIONS! I'm telling you, MILLIONS! * 'Atta boy, Mike. 'Atta boy. 'Atta boy, Mike. 'Atta boy, Mike. * Boys, don't never, but never, make fun of no cripples. == Swami == * We were speaking of belief. Beliefs and conditioning. Whole belief possibly could be said to be the result of some conditioning. Thus, the study of history is simply the study of one system of beliefs deposing another, and so on and so on and so on. A psychologically tested belief of our time is that the central nervous system, which feeds its impulses directly to the brain: the conscious and subconscious, is unable to discern between the real and the vividly imagined experience. If there is a difference, and most of us believe there is, am I being clear? For to examine these concepts requires tremendous energy and discipline. To experience the now... without preconception or belief. To allow the unknown to occur and to occur requires clarity. But where there is clarity, there is no choice. And where there is choice, there is misery. But then, why should anyone listen to me? Why should I speak? Since I know nothing! == Others == * '''Inspector Shrink''': Pleasure – the inevitable byproduct of our civilization. A new world – the only preoccupation will be: how to amuse itself. The tragedy of ''your'' time, my young friends, is that you may get exactly what you want. * '''Interviewee''': Are you telling me that you don't see the connection between government and laughing at people? * '''Cow''': Monkees is the craziest people! * '''Mrs. Ace''': Changing your image, darling? While you're at it, why don't you have them write you some talent. * '''Play Man''': Somebody come up and giggle at ya, that's a violation of your civil rights. * '''Bearded Man''': Skunk bait. That's what the world is full of; that's what it's based on. That's what this economy is based on. == Dialogue == :'''Peter''': We were talking with the Master regarding the nature of conceptual reality. Psychologically speaking, the human mind, or brain or whatever, is almost incapable of distinguishing between the real and the vividly imagined experience. Sound and film and music and radio. Even these manipulative experiences are received more or less directly and uninterpretive by the mind. They are cataloged and recorded and either acted upon directly, or stored in the memory, or both. Now this process, unless we pay it tremendous attention, begins to separate us from the reality of the now. Am I being clear? For we must allow the reality of the now to just happen, as it happens. Observe and act with clarity. For where there is clarity, there is no choice. And where there is choice, there is misery. But then, why should I speak, since I know nothing? :'''Davy''': Nothing? You know nothing? :'''Peter''': That's right. :'''Davy''': You mean to tell me we've been here sitting listening to you and you know nothing? :'''Peter''': Don't you see, David? It doesn't matter whether we're in the box or not. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Testy True''': ''[holding out her snake-bitten finger]'' Quick! Suck it before the venom reaches my heart. :'''Mike''': WHAT heart? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Peter''': Everybody's where they wanna be. :'''Micky''': That is a particularly inept thing to say, Peter, considering that we are in a vacuum cleaner. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Mike''': ''[ordering at the studio commissary]'' I'll have a finger sandwich, hold the mold. :'''Davy''': And, uh, I'd like a glass of cold gravy with a hair in it, please. :'''Mrs. Ace''': ''[sarcastically]'' One of your own? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Peter''': Hey, Mike, son of a gun, a millionaire at 25. :'''Mike''': Ask me how does it feel. :'''Peter''': What? :'''Mike''': Ask me how does it feel. :'''Peter''': How does it feel? :'''Mike''': I'll tell you how it feels. I don't like it, that's how it feels! I don't like surprises, I don't like all these people jumping around and shouting, wha - I don't even wanna HEAR what you're saying! Because you know what you're saying to me? You're saying "Happy Birthday" and you're jumping out of the walls and it's scaring me to death, and I'm supposed to be HAPPY about that. :'''Micky''': Aww, come on, Mike. Be a good sport. :'''Mike''': Well, WHO NEEDS IT? Who needs surprises, and pajamas. You want to throw a birthday party, you don't kidnap me, you send me an invitation. Besides, I probably would have been happier where I was, sleeping. "Happy birthday"... HAH! ''[embarrassed murmur from party guests]'' And I'll tell you something else too: the same thing goes for Christmas. ''[shocked gasps from the guests]'' Well, how 'bout THEM apples! <hr width="50%"/> :'''The Critic''': Song was pretty white. :'''Davy''': Well, so am I, what can I tell ya? :'''The Critic''': You've been working on your dancing, though. :'''Davy''': Oh, yeah, yeah. I've been rehearsing it lately. You noticed that. :'''The Critic''': Yeah, it doesn't leave you much time for your music. You should spend more time on it; because, the youth of America depends on you to show the way. :'''Davy''': Yeah? :'''The Critic''': Yeah. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Crowd''': We want the Monkees! We want the Monkees! Peter, Davy, Micky, Mike, oh god! Here they come!!! :'''Davy''': Hello everybody. How is it going today? :'''Crowd''': (cheering) :'''Michael''': Great. And now, we are going to bring you a song for the audience, and it's called... "Circle Sky". :'''Peter''': So, we have to get our instruments ready. :''[The Monkees grab their instruments.]'' :'''Micky''': And there we go. :'''Michael''': That should do it, Micky. :'''Davy''': All right everybody, let's get this party started, and make... lots... of... '''NOISE!''' :'''Crowd''': (cheering wildly once again) :''[The Monkees started playing "Circle Sky". The crowd goes wild.]'' == Cast == * [[w:Peter Tork|Peter Tork]] - Peter * [[w:Davy Jones (actor)|David Jones]] - Davy * [[w:Micky Dolenz|Micky Dolenz]] - Micky * [[Michael Nesmith]] - Mike * [[w:Annette Funicello|Annette Funicello]] - Teresa/Minnie * [[w:Timothy Carey|Timothy Carey]] - Lord High 'n' Low * [[w:Logan Ramsey|Logan Ramsey]] - Officer Faye Lapid * [[w:Abraham Sofaer|Abraham Sofaer]] - Swami * [[w:Vito Scotti|Vito Scotti]] - [[w:I Vitelloni|I. Vitteloni]] * [[w:Charles Macaulay (actor)|Charles Macaulay]] - Inspector Shrink * [[w:T. C. Jones|T. C. Jones]] - Mr. and Mrs. Ace * Charles Irving - Mayor Feedback * William Bagdad - Black Sheik * [[w:Percy Helton|Percy Helton]] - Heraldic Messenger * [[w:Sonny Liston|Sonny Liston]] - Extra * [[w:Ray Nitschke|Ray Nitschke]] - Private One * [[w:Carol Doda|Carol Doda]] - Sally Silicone * [[Frank Zappa]] - The Critic * [[w:June Fairchild|June Fairchild]] - The Jumper * [[Teri Garr]] - Testy True * I. J. Jefferson - Lady Pleasure * [[w:Victor Mature|Victor Mature]] - The Big Victor * [[Toni Basil]] - 'Daddy's Song' Dancer * Lee Kolima - Guard * Terry Chambers - Hero * Mike Burns - Nothing * Esther Shepard - Mother * Kristine Helstoski - Girl Friend * [[w:John Hoffman (filmmaker)|John Hoffman]] - The Sexfiend * Linda Weaver - Lover Secretary * Jim Hanley - Frodis * [[w:Dennis Hopper|Dennis Hopper]] - Himself * [[w:Bob Rafelson|Bob Rafelson]] - Himself * [[Jack Nicholson]] - Movie Director in Restaurant ==External links== {{wikipedia}} * {{IMDb title|id=0063049|title=Head}} * {{rotten-tomatoes|id=1056359-head|title=Head}} * {{amg movie|21796|Head}} [[Category:1968 films]] [[Category:1960s American films]] [[Category:Musical comedy films]] [[Category:Satire films]] [[Category:Films based on television series]] [[Category:Films about television]] [[Category:Films set in California]] [[Category:Rock music films]] [[Category:Hippie films]] m5lzyon6vya10bqukh1syzrspfvbhat 0 237857 3942067 3937041 2026-05-17T14:15:43Z ~2026-29395-40 3323054 3942067 wikitext text/x-wiki '''Bob and Larry's How to Draw!''' is a special 90-minute episode of VeggieTales. It is a compilation of teaching kids how to draw their favorite VeggieTales characters. ==Dialogue== :''[first lines; the episode begins with Larry the Cucumber standing on the countertop with an easel]'' :'''Larry''': Oh, hi kids! I'm Larry the Cucumber. If you like me, then you'll love to draw, and chances are, even if you're not like me you'll love to draw. But one things for sure. If you love to draw, you'll love to draw me! That's why, I in cooperation with the Society for the promotion of artistic rendering of fruit and vegetables or SPARFV have teamed up to bring you... :''[song starts]'' :'''Larry''': '''HOW TO DRAW ME!<br>HOW TO DRAW ME!<br>HEY!<br>HOW TO DRAW ME!''' :''[song ends]'' <hr width = 50%> :'''Tim Hodge''': If you remember, Jimmy Gourd was in a show called [[VeggieTales|Dr. Jiggle and Mr. Sly]], where he changed his shape a lot. He was also wearing a costume, too. So now, we're gonna let Joe Sapulich show us how he draws Jimmy Gourd as [[VeggieTales|Dr. Jiggle and Mr. Sly]]. <hr width = 50%> :'''Tim Hodge''': All right, now let's take a look at how some of our other artists draw with these same shapes, and you follow at home, too. Okay? Now here's a guy you seemed might to often. He's Frankencelery. If you look closely, he's pretty much just a big rectangle. Now let's go back to Greg Harden as he teaches the fire points of this guy. <hr width = 50%> :'''Tim Hodge''': Now that was a fun one to do, wasn't it? Now let's take look at Scallion #1 as the Salesman from [[VeggieTales|Madame Blueberry]]. He's been around a long time, even though he still doesn't have a name. But he's so skinny, he's made if looks like he's all straight lines. But if you look closely, everything is just a little bit curved. So watch closely, follow along, as Tom Owens lead you and drawing him. <hr width = 50%> :'''Tim Hodge and Kids''': Ah, no! :'''Tim Hodge''': Anyway, let's continue with another guy it's made out of totally straight lines. Uh, kind of straight. Actually, it's made out of a bunch of different shapes, it's Palmy from [[VeggieTales|Larry's Lagoon]]. Let's watch us as Greg shows us how to draw him. <hr width = 50%> :'''Tim Hodge''': So she's pretty complicated, huh? But a little easier when you break it down in the basic shapes, right? :'''Kids''': Hmm hmm! :'''Tim Hodge''': Okay, I got a surprise for you. How would you like to see a totally new VeggieTales character? :'''Kids''': Yes! :'''Tim Hodge''': Well, there she is! She's another princess, her name's Sweet Sweet Petunia, but we can call Petunia for short. She's a rhubarb, and she's a star in our new show, [[VeggieTales|Princess and the Pie War]]. Now she looks kind of complicated, too, but if you break her down, she's just a lot of simple shapes, like a circle on her head, big triangle here for her body, and of course circle eyes like that. It's easy as anything else we've done, just takes a little more time. You ready? We just put them all together. <hr width = 50%> :''[last lines]'' :'''Larry''': To show my appreaciaton, I want you to show this. :'''Tim Hodge''': Hey, look! My very own SPARF hat! :'''Larry''': That's SPARFV! :'''Tim Hodge''': Oh, right. SPARFV. Thanks! :'''Larry''': You're welcome, and thanks kids, you did great. :'''Tim Hodge''': Yeah, thanks for drawing along with us, Larry. :'''Larry and Tim Hodge''': Bye! [[Category:2004 films]] [[Category:Computer-animated TV shows]] [[Category:American children's animated comedy TV shows]] [[Category:American children's animated fantasy TV shows]] [[Category:American children's animated musical TV shows]] [[Category:American children's animated education TV shows]] [[Category:VeggieTales]] 39tgr4thm4qlze7vvfzppfj5vlhu167 3 249449 3942222 3941598 2026-05-18T00:47:17Z ~2026-18202-20 3304755 /* Error */ new section 3942222 wikitext text/x-wiki == Templates == I don't care, just delete them all. No need to waste time. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:46, 14 September 2022 (UTC) == Error == Hello? request alert! [[Special:Contributions/&#126;2026-18202-20|&#126;2026-18202-20]] ([[User talk:&#126;2026-18202-20|talk]]) 00:47, 18 May 2026 (UTC) qjq0yglstgd5rplpit0193liupzoaje 3942225 3942222 2026-05-18T00:55:41Z Pppery 2883620 /* Error */ Um, it worked? 3942225 wikitext text/x-wiki == Templates == I don't care, just delete them all. No need to waste time. – [[User:Ilovemydoodle|Ilovemydoodle]] (Not a sockpuppet) ([[User_talk:Ilovemydoodle|talk]] / [[Special:EmailUser/User:Ilovemydoodle|e-mail]]) 22:46, 14 September 2022 (UTC) i9twikq2rku6of8ud03vtj3xki3v3zg 0 250476 3942102 3601366 2026-05-17T17:37:02Z Woofboy 2984402 3942102 wikitext text/x-wiki The '''[[w:Monarchy of the United Kingdom|monarchy of the United Kingdom]]''' is the [[Constitutional democracy|constitutional]] form of government by which a hereditary sovereign reigns as the head of state of the [[United Kingdom]], the Crown Dependencies (the Bailiwick of Guernsey, the Bailiwick of Jersey and the Isle of Man) and the British Overseas Territories. The reigning monarch, since September 2022, is King [[Charles III]]. The monarch and [[w:British royal family|his immediate family]] undertake official, ceremonial, diplomatic and representational duties. As a constitutional monarch, the sovereign has limited functions including the bestowing [[w:Orders, decorations, and medals of the United Kingdom|honours]] and [[w:Kissing hands|appointing]] the [[w:Prime Minister of the United Kingdom|prime minister]], which are performed in a non-partisan manner. The King is also [[w:Head of the British Armed Forces|Head of the British Armed Forces]]. Though the ultimate executive authority over the government is still formally by and through the [[w:royal prerogative|royal prerogative]], these powers may only be used according to laws enacted in [[w:Parliament of the United Kingdom|Parliament]] and, in practice, within the constraints of convention and [[w:precedent|precedent]]. ==Quotes== *A conscientious, constitutional monarch is a strong element of stability and continuity in our [[w:Constitution of the United Kingdom|Constitution]]. **[[Clement Attlee]], address to the Oxford University Law Society (14 June 1957), quoted in ''The Times'' (15 June 1957), p. 4 *[T]he sovereign has, under a constitutional monarchy such as ours, three rights—the right to be consulted, the right to encourage, the right to warn. **[[Walter Bagehot]], ''The English Constitution'', [[:s:The English Constitution (Bagehot, 1894)/The Monarchy (continued)#75|No. III, "The Monarchy"]] (1867) *There has been a King of the English ever since the ninth or tenth century; no other Monarchy in [[Europe]] (except the lands of our [[Scandinavia|Scandinavian]] [[King|kingsfolk]] and except the Crown of [[w:Stephen I of Hungary|St. Stephen]]) can boast of anything like an equal antiquity. **[[James Bryce, 1st Viscount Bryce|James Bryce]], letter to ''The Times'' (13 March 1876), p. 8 *The Crown of Great Britain cannot, in my opinion, be too magnificent. Let us see some great public works set on foot; let it never be said, that the Commons of Great Britain failed in what they owe to the first Crown in the world. Looking up to royalty, I do say, it is the oldest and one of the best parts of our constitution. I wish it should look like royalty; that it should look like a King; like a King of Great Britain. **[[Edmund Burke]], speech in the House of Commons (28 February 1769), quoted in J. Wright, ''Sir Henry Cavendish's Debates of the House of Commons, during the Thirteenth Parliament of Great Britain, commonly called the Unreported Parliament, Vol. I'' (1841), p. 273 *It is typical of the English that, retaining what was a good in the past, but reconstruing it—reconstruing the past itself if necessary—they have clung to the monarchy, and have maintained it down to the present, while changing its import and robbing it of the power to do harm. It is typical of them that from [[English Civil War|their 17th-century revolution itself]] and from the very experiment of an [[w:Interregnum (England)|interregnum]], they learned that there was still a subtle utility in kingship and they determined to reconstitute their traditions again, lest they should throw away the good with the bad. In all this there is something more profound than a mere sentimental unwillingness to part with a piece of ancient pageantry—a mere disinclination to sacrifice the ornament of a royal court. Here we have a token of that alliance of Englishmen with their history which has prevented the uprooting of things that have been organic to the development of the country; which has enriched our institutions with echoes and overtones; and which has proved—against the presumption and recklessness of blind [[Revolution|revolutionary]] overthrows—the happier form of co-operation with Providence. **[[Herbert Butterfield]], ''The Englishman and His History'' (1944), pp. 10-11 *Since the [[Glorious Revolution|settlement of [the] Constitution]], now nearly two centuries ago, England has never experienced a [[revolution]], though there is no country in which there has been so continuous and such considerable change. How is this? Because the [[wisdom]] of your forefathers placed the prize of supreme power without the sphere of human passions. Whatever the struggle of parties, whatever the strife of factions, whatever the excitement and exaltation of the public mind, there has always been something in this country round which all classes and parties could rally, representing the majesty of the law, the administration of justice, and involving, at the same time, the security for every man's rights and the fountain of honour. **[[Benjamin Disraeli]], speech to the Conservatives of Manchester (3 April 1872), quoted in ''Selected Speeches of the Late Right Honourable the Earl of Beaconsfield, Volume II'', ed. T. E. Kebbel (1882), p. 492 *Gentlemen, the influence of the Crown is not confined merely to political affairs. England is a domestic country. Here the [[home]] is revered and the hearth is sacred. The [[Nations|nation]] is represented by a family—the Royal Family; and if that family is educated with a sense of [[responsibility]] and a sentiment of public duty, it is difficult to exaggerate the salutary influence they may exercise over a nation. It is not merely an influence upon manners; it is not merely that they are a model for refinement and for good taste—they affect the heart as well as the intelligence of the people, and in the hour of public adversity, or in the anxious conjuncture of public affairs, the nation rallies round the Family and the Throne, and its spirit is animated and sustained by the expression of public affection. **[[Benjamin Disraeli]], speech to the Conservatives of Manchester (3 April 1872), quoted in ''Selected Speeches of the Late Right Honourable the Earl of Beaconsfield, Volume II'', ed. T. E. Kebbel (1882), p. 494 *The sovereign is the highest height of the system; is, in that system, like [[Jupiter (mythology)|Jupiter]] among the [[Roman Empire|Roman]] [[Deity|gods]], first without a second... It is the wisdom of the British Constitution to lodge the personality of its chief so high that none shall under any circumstances be tempted to vie, or to dream of vying, with it. **[[William Ewart Gladstone]], 'Kin beyond Sea', ''The North American Review'', Vol. 127, No. 264 (Sep.-Oct., 1878), p. 202 *This is what you get when you found a political system on the family values of [[Henry VIII of England|Henry VIII]]. **[[Christopher Hitchens]], [http://web.archive.org/web/20111025022530/http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/fighting_words/2010/06/charles_prince_of_piffle.html "Charles, Prince of Piffle"] ''Slate'' (14 June 2010) * Great Britain is a [[republic]] with a hereditary [[president]], while the [[United States]] is a [[monarchy]] with [[President of the United States|an elective king]]. ** ''The Knoxville Journal'' (9 February 1896), as quoted in [https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=wwzqAwAAQBAJ&printsec=frontcover&dq=peter+hays+gries&hl=en&sa=X&ei=HwpZVazmK_LW7Qan_YH4CQ&ved=0CD0Q6AEwBA#v=onepage&q=peter%20hays%20gries&f=false "The Politics of American Foreign Policy"] by [[wikipedia:Peter Heys Gries|Peter Heys Gries]], p. 170 *That's what the Chinese and Russian secret services realised – that the easiest vulnerability of the British establishment is the royal family' There’s no scrutiny. They're greedy. They're short of money. They're kind of immoral because of the way they've been brought up. And they mixed with lots of important people. **[[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], quoted in Zoe Williams '[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026/feb/24/andrew-mountbatten-windsor-biographer-andrew-lownie-entitled We've been paying for happy endings for Andrew for years': the inside story of a royal disgrace, by his biographer]' (24 February 2026), ''The Guardian'' *The British Monarchy is the most ancient in [[w:Christendom|Christendom]]. Its glory has in no wise worn thin with age. As a pageant it still takes the roughness of this world with splendour and romance. Moreover, Kings and their ways, their personal characters and private lives, as well as their public relations with the State, are, and always have been, of inexhaustible interest. [[Alexander Pope|Pope]] says: "Oh, 'tis the sweetest of all earthly things/To gaze on Princes and to talk of Kings." **[[w:Michael MacDonagh (author)|Michael MacDonagh]], ''The English King: A Study of the Monarchy and the Royal Family, Historical, Constitutional and Social'' (1929), p. 7 *An impressive sense of antiquity and continuity of the Monarchy, as well as its stability, in its relations with the Legislature, is imparted by these ceremonies of the [[w:State Opening of Parliament|opening of Parliament]] and the giving of the [[w:Royal assent|Royal Assent]]. They are indeed rooted in the historic past. In form and substance the opening of Parliament is exactly the same in the twentieth century as it was in the sixteenth, despite all the incursions of the modern spirit since then. The King is now, as he was then, the central figure. He keeps his State in Parliament unaffected by political changes and innovations. From him emanates all the splendour of the spectacle, and all the power and authority it suggests. The Monarchy still has its purple, its Crown and sceptre. Changeless amid time's changes the Monarchy would appear to be; affording in that respect a striking contrast with Parliament which is peculiarly susceptible to change... But the Monarchy remains the same—an impressive symbol of Government, its continuity and authority. **[[w:Michael MacDonagh (author)|Michael MacDonagh]], ''The English King: A Study of the Monarchy and the Royal Family, Historical, Constitutional and Social'' (1929), pp. 196-197 *Many of what we think of as age-old symbols and ceremonies are often newly minted, as each age looks through the past and finds what suits its present needs. In 1953, all around the world those who had [[Television|televisions]] watched, with awe and fascination, the ancient coronation rituals—[[Elizabeth II|the monarch]]’s ride through [[London]] in the gilded state coach, the solemn procession into [[w:Westminster_Abbey|Westminster Abbey]], the [[music]], the decorations, the [[w:Archbishop_of_Canterbury|Archbishop of Canterbury]] in his magnificent robes, the elaborate ceremony of crowning. As a [[Education|schoolchild]] in [[Canada]], I was given a booklet that explained it all. What most of us did not know was that much of what we watched with such respect was a creation of the [[19th century|nineteenth century]]. Earlier coronations had been slipshod, even embarrassing affairs. When a hugely fat [[w:George_IV_of_the_United_Kingdom|George IV]] was crowned in 1821, his estranged Queen Caroline hammered on the door. At [[Victoria of the United Kingdom|Queen Victoria]]'s coronation in 1837, the clergy stumbled through the service and the Archbishop of Canterbury had trouble with the ring, which was much too big for her finger. By the end of the century, the monarchy was more important as the symbol of a much more powerful [[United Kingdom|Britain]]. Royal occasions became grander and were much better rehearsed. New ones were added: [[David Lloyd George]], the radical prime minister from [[Wales]], found it useful to have a formal ceremony within the ancient walls of [[w:Caernarfon_Castle|Caernarfon Castle]] to install the later [[Edward VIII of the United Kingdom|Edward VIII]] as [[w:Prince_of_Wales|Prince of Wales]]. **[[Margaret MacMillan]], ''The Uses and Abuses of History'' (2008), pp. 92-93 *[T]o the mass of the nation it is the venerability and continuity of our monarchy that gives it so strong and wide a sentimental appeal. **[[Harold Nicolson]], ''Monarchy'' (1962), p. 301 *There exists in [[human nature]] a liking for the dramatic and a love of display. Pageantry ministers to these inclinations. The sovereign thereby acquires an aura of grandeur and, as Professor Black has remarked, "it nullifies in the ordinary subject his feeling of smallness". It gives to royalty a glamour which as individuals they may not possess. The [[masses]], not being really interested in abstract political theories, prefer to personify authority and to be more impressed by individuals seeming to perform interesting actions, than by institutions, organisations, and groups who perform what may appear to be uninteresting actions. Any good [[Journalism|journalist]], any [[advertising]] agent, is aware that the attention of the public is more readily aroused by personalities than it is by objects. It is the intense and yet glamorous personification of royalty that gives it a grace far deeper and wider than any [[President]] could acquire. **[[Harold Nicolson]], ''Monarchy'' (1962), pp. 302-303 *The sovereign, being accepted by her peoples as an example and symbol of the State and being by her title head of the Church and and defender of the faith, must, if she is to maintain the mystery so essential to the survival of monarchy, adopt and practise the highest moral code. In days of modern publicity it would not be possible for any monarch to retain among his subjects that sense of awe unless he were to practise the highest personal rectitude. The sovereign and the royal family are expected in their private lives to be patterns of perfect domesticity. The [[British people|British]] public would today not tolerate self-indulgence such as that of George IV and flatter themselves that the sovereign and her family are stained-glass saints, shining as examples, and offering themselves as scapegoats for all the squalid sins of their people. It would be a shock to the [[British people]] if their scapegoat let them down. **[[Harold Nicolson]], ''Monarchy'' (1962), p. 303 *Too much publicity will stain the mystery, even the dignity of the Crown. Too little publicity will be regarded as undemocratic and will render the gulf that yawns between the Sovereign and the ordinary subject an unfortunate barrier rather than a necessity of segregation. The real personality of monarchs is seldom revealed to their peoples until many years after their deaths. Few British subjects are aware that Queen [[Elizabeth II]] is a woman of exceptionally strong character and high intelligence. They realise that she and her husband are hard-working and possess a Coburg sense of duty. But they have little idea of what they are really like... All we can hope is that the Queen will seize every opportunity to share the interests of the common people, their sorrows and their laughter, and realise that she remains [[w:Bretwalda|Bretwalda]] of the [[English people|English]] and must seek to represent, to symbolise, to enhance, to elevate and to integrate the finest elements in the national character. **[[Harold Nicolson]], ''Monarchy'' (1962), p. 303 * Commonwealth schoolchildren are often taught one of the key events in [[History of the United Kingdom|British history]] with the help of a mnemonic: "[[Henry VIII of England|King Henry the Eighth]], to six wives he was wedded: One died, one survived, two divorced, two beheaded." Beheaded! In 1536 Henry had his wife [[Anne Boleyn]] decapitated on trumped-up charges of [[adultery]] and [[treason]] because she gave him a son that did not survive, and he had become attracted to one of her ladies-in-waiting. Two wives later he suspected [[w:Catherine_Howard|Catherine Howard]] of adultery and sent her to the ax as well. (Tourists visiting the Tower of London can see the chopping block for themselves.) Henry was clearly the jealous type: he also had an old boyfriend of Catherine’s drawn and quartered, which is to say hanged by the neck, taken down while still alive, disemboweled, castrated, decapitated, and cut into four. The throne passed to Henry’s son [[Edward VI of England|Edward]], then to Henry’s daughter [[Mary I of England|Mary]], and then to another daughter, [[Elizabeth I of England|Elizabeth]]. “Bloody Mary” did not get her nickname by putting tomato juice in her [[vodka]] but by having three hundred [[Anglicanism|religious dissenters]] burned at the stake. And both sisters kept up the family tradition for how to resolve domestic squabbles: Mary imprisoned Elizabeth and presided over the execution of their cousin, [[w:Lady_Jane_Grey|Lady Jane Grey]], and Elizabeth executed another cousin, [[Mary, Queen of Scots|Mary Queen of Scots]]. Elizabeth also had 123 [[Priest|priests]] drawn and quartered, and had other enemies tortured with bone-crushing manacles, another attraction on display in the Tower. Today the British royal family is excoriated for shortcomings ranging from rudeness to infidelity. You’d think people would give them credit for not having had a single relative decapitated, nor a single rival drawn and quartered. ** [[Steven Pinker]], ''The Better Angels of Our Nature'' (2012) *One thing above all they assuredly would not forget; [[w:House of Lancaster|Lancastrian]] or [[w:House of York|Yorkist]], squire or lord, priest or layman; they would point to the kingship of [[England]], and its emblems everywhere visible. The immemorial arms, gules, three leopards or, though quartered late with [[France]], azure, three fleurs de lis argent; and older still, the crown itself and that sceptred awe, in which [[w:Edward the Confessor|Saint Edward the Englishman]] still seemed to sit in [[w:Coronation Chair|his own chair]] to claim the allegiance of all the English. Symbol, yet source of power; person of flesh and blood, yet incarnation of an idea; the kingship would have seemed to them, as it seems to us, to express the qualities that are peculiarly England's. The unity of England, effortless and unconstrained, which accepts the unlimited supremacy of Crown in Parliament so naturally as not to be aware of it; the homogeneity of England, so profound and embracing that the counties and the regions make it a hobby to discover their differences and assert their peculiarities; the continuity of England, which has brought this unity and this homogeneity about by the slow alchemy of centuries. **[[Enoch Powell]], speech to the Royal Society of St George (22 April 1961), quoted in ''A Nation Not Afraid: The Thinking of Enoch Powell'' (1965), p. 145 *When we speak of the pride and self-confidence of our nation, the Crown—the Monarchy—is absolutely central; nor do I know how better one would gauge the state of this nation's psychological health, of its national morale, than by its attitude towards its greatest, its unique, institution... Of all the sources of true and proper pride to a British person none is greater than the common possession of the Crown. I use the word "possession" advisedly, in its full and most literal sense. Because our Crown is the product of the history of this nation, because it grows like an oak in the soil of these islands, it is therefore the personal possession of every citizen and subject, however humble, however poor. It is a total misconception...to suppose that there is anything of class, anything which is restrictive or destricted, about the Crown. Whatever may be said of any other institution, the Crown is the common, precious and hereditary jewel of all British subjects and of all the people of this country. To approach that common possession, that symbol and personification, with the attitude, "How ungenerous can we be? How little can we contrive to spend upon it? How much can we clip?"—not of its magnificence, for it has ever been the pride of English greatness not to be magnificent through lavishness, but in more fundamental ways—"How much can we restrict the outward signs and manifestations of what the Crown is to this country?" is a sign that we are still divorced from the pride and self-confidence without which a nation cannot face the world and without which this nation cannot learn to face the world again. **[[Enoch Powell]], [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1975/dec/04/civil-list-bill#column_1990 speech] in the House of Commons (4 December 1975) *The monarchy has this great advantage, that it provides us with a symbol to which we can all look, whether overseas or at home, the visible embodiment of the unity of our peoples and form of society — a head which is at the same time separate from the centre of real political power. **[[A. L. Rowse]], 'The Rhythm of English History', ''The English Spirit: Essays in History and Literature'' (1944), p. 24 *The monarchy serves the indispensable purpose of giving us continuity and at the same time flexibility: whatever the changes and chances of politics, there is a figure to which we can look, and that applies both at home and within the Commonwealth overseas. It is probable that no other constitutional form would fulfill that purpose anything like so well: it has shown a really remarkable flexibility and capacity for adaptation. In that sense the monarchy may be truly described as a democratic monarchy, an institution which is a help to the smooth and efficient working of democracy, and not a hindrance. **[[A. L. Rowse]], 'The Rhythm of English History', ''The English Spirit: Essays in History and Literature'' (1944), p. 25 *The irony of England is that it was monarchical power that helped drive the shift away from early [[democracy]], and so modern democracy incorporates an element of [[Tyranny|autocracy]]. It is for this reason that once Parliament became supreme after 1688, [[William Blackstone]], the famous jurist, would write that it had “[[Absolutism|absolute despotic power]].” While England initiated the development of modern democracy, it was slow to advance the process further. Even after what is commonly known as the [[w:Great Reform Act 1832|“Great Reform Act” of 1832]], only a tiny fraction of the total population could vote. Here we face a puzzle: while seventeenth-century English [[Radicalism|radicals]] like the [[w:Levellers|Levellers]] first conceived of [[w:Universal male suffrage|universal male suffrage]] as a way to govern a society, their ideas would first be implemented in [[North America]] and not in England. Though we often think of [[United States Declaration of Independence|1776]] or [[Constitutional Convention (United States)|1787]] as the beginning of [[United States|American democracy]], from the seventeenth century a very broad suffrage—for free white males— became the norm in [[w:British America|England’s North American colonies]]. **David Stasavage, ''The Decline and Rise of Democracy: A Global History from Antiquity to Today'' (2020), p. 18 *Instead of a little power, occasionally exercised at the expense of great unpopularity, the Monarch, by retiring from politics, acquired an immense popularity outside, and retained important influence behind the scenes. The new popularity of the Monarch was proved at the Jubilees of [[Victoria of the United Kingdom|Victoria]] and of [[George V of the United Kingdom|George V]]. The new English Democracy is in love with the Crown. Radicalism, founded by [[Thomas Paine|Tom Paine]] in the days of [[George III of the United Kingdom|George III]], had had strong Republican tendencies, but they had withered away as the Crown retired from politics. The modern Labour Party has no quarrel with the English Monarchy. The symbolic importance of the Monarch has greatly increased even in our own day. The Crown is the one symbol that all classes and parties can without reservation accept. **[[G. M. Trevelyan]], 'Monarchy and the Constitution: A Historical Survey', ''The Times'' (11 May 1937), p. 41 ==External links== {{wikipedia}} {{Commons category|British monarchy}} *[https://www.royal.uk/ Official website of the British monarchy] [[Category:Politics of the United Kingdom]] 4zmvzm1kyi23k9wxf5ww22nglpapx3m 3942104 3942102 2026-05-17T17:37:30Z Woofboy 2984402 /* Quotes */ punctuation 3942104 wikitext text/x-wiki The '''[[w:Monarchy of the United Kingdom|monarchy of the United Kingdom]]''' is the [[Constitutional democracy|constitutional]] form of government by which a hereditary sovereign reigns as the head of state of the [[United Kingdom]], the Crown Dependencies (the Bailiwick of Guernsey, the Bailiwick of Jersey and the Isle of Man) and the British Overseas Territories. The reigning monarch, since September 2022, is King [[Charles III]]. The monarch and [[w:British royal family|his immediate family]] undertake official, ceremonial, diplomatic and representational duties. As a constitutional monarch, the sovereign has limited functions including the bestowing [[w:Orders, decorations, and medals of the United Kingdom|honours]] and [[w:Kissing hands|appointing]] the [[w:Prime Minister of the United Kingdom|prime minister]], which are performed in a non-partisan manner. The King is also [[w:Head of the British Armed Forces|Head of the British Armed Forces]]. Though the ultimate executive authority over the government is still formally by and through the [[w:royal prerogative|royal prerogative]], these powers may only be used according to laws enacted in [[w:Parliament of the United Kingdom|Parliament]] and, in practice, within the constraints of convention and [[w:precedent|precedent]]. ==Quotes== *A conscientious, constitutional monarch is a strong element of stability and continuity in our [[w:Constitution of the United Kingdom|Constitution]]. **[[Clement Attlee]], address to the Oxford University Law Society (14 June 1957), quoted in ''The Times'' (15 June 1957), p. 4 *[T]he sovereign has, under a constitutional monarchy such as ours, three rights—the right to be consulted, the right to encourage, the right to warn. **[[Walter Bagehot]], ''The English Constitution'', [[:s:The English Constitution (Bagehot, 1894)/The Monarchy (continued)#75|No. III, "The Monarchy"]] (1867) *There has been a King of the English ever since the ninth or tenth century; no other Monarchy in [[Europe]] (except the lands of our [[Scandinavia|Scandinavian]] [[King|kingsfolk]] and except the Crown of [[w:Stephen I of Hungary|St. Stephen]]) can boast of anything like an equal antiquity. **[[James Bryce, 1st Viscount Bryce|James Bryce]], letter to ''The Times'' (13 March 1876), p. 8 *The Crown of Great Britain cannot, in my opinion, be too magnificent. Let us see some great public works set on foot; let it never be said, that the Commons of Great Britain failed in what they owe to the first Crown in the world. Looking up to royalty, I do say, it is the oldest and one of the best parts of our constitution. I wish it should look like royalty; that it should look like a King; like a King of Great Britain. **[[Edmund Burke]], speech in the House of Commons (28 February 1769), quoted in J. Wright, ''Sir Henry Cavendish's Debates of the House of Commons, during the Thirteenth Parliament of Great Britain, commonly called the Unreported Parliament, Vol. I'' (1841), p. 273 *It is typical of the English that, retaining what was a good in the past, but reconstruing it—reconstruing the past itself if necessary—they have clung to the monarchy, and have maintained it down to the present, while changing its import and robbing it of the power to do harm. It is typical of them that from [[English Civil War|their 17th-century revolution itself]] and from the very experiment of an [[w:Interregnum (England)|interregnum]], they learned that there was still a subtle utility in kingship and they determined to reconstitute their traditions again, lest they should throw away the good with the bad. In all this there is something more profound than a mere sentimental unwillingness to part with a piece of ancient pageantry—a mere disinclination to sacrifice the ornament of a royal court. Here we have a token of that alliance of Englishmen with their history which has prevented the uprooting of things that have been organic to the development of the country; which has enriched our institutions with echoes and overtones; and which has proved—against the presumption and recklessness of blind [[Revolution|revolutionary]] overthrows—the happier form of co-operation with Providence. **[[Herbert Butterfield]], ''The Englishman and His History'' (1944), pp. 10-11 *Since the [[Glorious Revolution|settlement of [the] Constitution]], now nearly two centuries ago, England has never experienced a [[revolution]], though there is no country in which there has been so continuous and such considerable change. How is this? Because the [[wisdom]] of your forefathers placed the prize of supreme power without the sphere of human passions. Whatever the struggle of parties, whatever the strife of factions, whatever the excitement and exaltation of the public mind, there has always been something in this country round which all classes and parties could rally, representing the majesty of the law, the administration of justice, and involving, at the same time, the security for every man's rights and the fountain of honour. **[[Benjamin Disraeli]], speech to the Conservatives of Manchester (3 April 1872), quoted in ''Selected Speeches of the Late Right Honourable the Earl of Beaconsfield, Volume II'', ed. T. E. Kebbel (1882), p. 492 *Gentlemen, the influence of the Crown is not confined merely to political affairs. England is a domestic country. Here the [[home]] is revered and the hearth is sacred. The [[Nations|nation]] is represented by a family—the Royal Family; and if that family is educated with a sense of [[responsibility]] and a sentiment of public duty, it is difficult to exaggerate the salutary influence they may exercise over a nation. It is not merely an influence upon manners; it is not merely that they are a model for refinement and for good taste—they affect the heart as well as the intelligence of the people, and in the hour of public adversity, or in the anxious conjuncture of public affairs, the nation rallies round the Family and the Throne, and its spirit is animated and sustained by the expression of public affection. **[[Benjamin Disraeli]], speech to the Conservatives of Manchester (3 April 1872), quoted in ''Selected Speeches of the Late Right Honourable the Earl of Beaconsfield, Volume II'', ed. T. E. Kebbel (1882), p. 494 *The sovereign is the highest height of the system; is, in that system, like [[Jupiter (mythology)|Jupiter]] among the [[Roman Empire|Roman]] [[Deity|gods]], first without a second... It is the wisdom of the British Constitution to lodge the personality of its chief so high that none shall under any circumstances be tempted to vie, or to dream of vying, with it. **[[William Ewart Gladstone]], 'Kin beyond Sea', ''The North American Review'', Vol. 127, No. 264 (Sep.-Oct., 1878), p. 202 *This is what you get when you found a political system on the family values of [[Henry VIII of England|Henry VIII]]. **[[Christopher Hitchens]], [http://web.archive.org/web/20111025022530/http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/fighting_words/2010/06/charles_prince_of_piffle.html "Charles, Prince of Piffle"] ''Slate'' (14 June 2010) * Great Britain is a [[republic]] with a hereditary [[president]], while the [[United States]] is a [[monarchy]] with [[President of the United States|an elective king]]. ** ''The Knoxville Journal'' (9 February 1896), as quoted in [https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=wwzqAwAAQBAJ&printsec=frontcover&dq=peter+hays+gries&hl=en&sa=X&ei=HwpZVazmK_LW7Qan_YH4CQ&ved=0CD0Q6AEwBA#v=onepage&q=peter%20hays%20gries&f=false "The Politics of American Foreign Policy"] by [[wikipedia:Peter Heys Gries|Peter Heys Gries]], p. 170 *That's what the Chinese and Russian secret services realised – that the easiest vulnerability of the British establishment is the royal family' There’s no scrutiny. They're greedy. They're short of money. They're kind of immoral because of the way they've been brought up. And they mixed with lots of important people. **[[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], quoted in Zoe Williams, '[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026/feb/24/andrew-mountbatten-windsor-biographer-andrew-lownie-entitled We've been paying for happy endings for Andrew for years': the inside story of a royal disgrace, by his biographer]' (24 February 2026), ''The Guardian'' *The British Monarchy is the most ancient in [[w:Christendom|Christendom]]. Its glory has in no wise worn thin with age. As a pageant it still takes the roughness of this world with splendour and romance. Moreover, Kings and their ways, their personal characters and private lives, as well as their public relations with the State, are, and always have been, of inexhaustible interest. [[Alexander Pope|Pope]] says: "Oh, 'tis the sweetest of all earthly things/To gaze on Princes and to talk of Kings." **[[w:Michael MacDonagh (author)|Michael MacDonagh]], ''The English King: A Study of the Monarchy and the Royal Family, Historical, Constitutional and Social'' (1929), p. 7 *An impressive sense of antiquity and continuity of the Monarchy, as well as its stability, in its relations with the Legislature, is imparted by these ceremonies of the [[w:State Opening of Parliament|opening of Parliament]] and the giving of the [[w:Royal assent|Royal Assent]]. They are indeed rooted in the historic past. In form and substance the opening of Parliament is exactly the same in the twentieth century as it was in the sixteenth, despite all the incursions of the modern spirit since then. The King is now, as he was then, the central figure. He keeps his State in Parliament unaffected by political changes and innovations. From him emanates all the splendour of the spectacle, and all the power and authority it suggests. The Monarchy still has its purple, its Crown and sceptre. Changeless amid time's changes the Monarchy would appear to be; affording in that respect a striking contrast with Parliament which is peculiarly susceptible to change... But the Monarchy remains the same—an impressive symbol of Government, its continuity and authority. **[[w:Michael MacDonagh (author)|Michael MacDonagh]], ''The English King: A Study of the Monarchy and the Royal Family, Historical, Constitutional and Social'' (1929), pp. 196-197 *Many of what we think of as age-old symbols and ceremonies are often newly minted, as each age looks through the past and finds what suits its present needs. In 1953, all around the world those who had [[Television|televisions]] watched, with awe and fascination, the ancient coronation rituals—[[Elizabeth II|the monarch]]’s ride through [[London]] in the gilded state coach, the solemn procession into [[w:Westminster_Abbey|Westminster Abbey]], the [[music]], the decorations, the [[w:Archbishop_of_Canterbury|Archbishop of Canterbury]] in his magnificent robes, the elaborate ceremony of crowning. As a [[Education|schoolchild]] in [[Canada]], I was given a booklet that explained it all. What most of us did not know was that much of what we watched with such respect was a creation of the [[19th century|nineteenth century]]. Earlier coronations had been slipshod, even embarrassing affairs. When a hugely fat [[w:George_IV_of_the_United_Kingdom|George IV]] was crowned in 1821, his estranged Queen Caroline hammered on the door. At [[Victoria of the United Kingdom|Queen Victoria]]'s coronation in 1837, the clergy stumbled through the service and the Archbishop of Canterbury had trouble with the ring, which was much too big for her finger. By the end of the century, the monarchy was more important as the symbol of a much more powerful [[United Kingdom|Britain]]. Royal occasions became grander and were much better rehearsed. New ones were added: [[David Lloyd George]], the radical prime minister from [[Wales]], found it useful to have a formal ceremony within the ancient walls of [[w:Caernarfon_Castle|Caernarfon Castle]] to install the later [[Edward VIII of the United Kingdom|Edward VIII]] as [[w:Prince_of_Wales|Prince of Wales]]. **[[Margaret MacMillan]], ''The Uses and Abuses of History'' (2008), pp. 92-93 *[T]o the mass of the nation it is the venerability and continuity of our monarchy that gives it so strong and wide a sentimental appeal. **[[Harold Nicolson]], ''Monarchy'' (1962), p. 301 *There exists in [[human nature]] a liking for the dramatic and a love of display. Pageantry ministers to these inclinations. The sovereign thereby acquires an aura of grandeur and, as Professor Black has remarked, "it nullifies in the ordinary subject his feeling of smallness". It gives to royalty a glamour which as individuals they may not possess. The [[masses]], not being really interested in abstract political theories, prefer to personify authority and to be more impressed by individuals seeming to perform interesting actions, than by institutions, organisations, and groups who perform what may appear to be uninteresting actions. Any good [[Journalism|journalist]], any [[advertising]] agent, is aware that the attention of the public is more readily aroused by personalities than it is by objects. It is the intense and yet glamorous personification of royalty that gives it a grace far deeper and wider than any [[President]] could acquire. **[[Harold Nicolson]], ''Monarchy'' (1962), pp. 302-303 *The sovereign, being accepted by her peoples as an example and symbol of the State and being by her title head of the Church and and defender of the faith, must, if she is to maintain the mystery so essential to the survival of monarchy, adopt and practise the highest moral code. In days of modern publicity it would not be possible for any monarch to retain among his subjects that sense of awe unless he were to practise the highest personal rectitude. The sovereign and the royal family are expected in their private lives to be patterns of perfect domesticity. The [[British people|British]] public would today not tolerate self-indulgence such as that of George IV and flatter themselves that the sovereign and her family are stained-glass saints, shining as examples, and offering themselves as scapegoats for all the squalid sins of their people. It would be a shock to the [[British people]] if their scapegoat let them down. **[[Harold Nicolson]], ''Monarchy'' (1962), p. 303 *Too much publicity will stain the mystery, even the dignity of the Crown. Too little publicity will be regarded as undemocratic and will render the gulf that yawns between the Sovereign and the ordinary subject an unfortunate barrier rather than a necessity of segregation. The real personality of monarchs is seldom revealed to their peoples until many years after their deaths. Few British subjects are aware that Queen [[Elizabeth II]] is a woman of exceptionally strong character and high intelligence. They realise that she and her husband are hard-working and possess a Coburg sense of duty. But they have little idea of what they are really like... All we can hope is that the Queen will seize every opportunity to share the interests of the common people, their sorrows and their laughter, and realise that she remains [[w:Bretwalda|Bretwalda]] of the [[English people|English]] and must seek to represent, to symbolise, to enhance, to elevate and to integrate the finest elements in the national character. **[[Harold Nicolson]], ''Monarchy'' (1962), p. 303 * Commonwealth schoolchildren are often taught one of the key events in [[History of the United Kingdom|British history]] with the help of a mnemonic: "[[Henry VIII of England|King Henry the Eighth]], to six wives he was wedded: One died, one survived, two divorced, two beheaded." Beheaded! In 1536 Henry had his wife [[Anne Boleyn]] decapitated on trumped-up charges of [[adultery]] and [[treason]] because she gave him a son that did not survive, and he had become attracted to one of her ladies-in-waiting. Two wives later he suspected [[w:Catherine_Howard|Catherine Howard]] of adultery and sent her to the ax as well. (Tourists visiting the Tower of London can see the chopping block for themselves.) Henry was clearly the jealous type: he also had an old boyfriend of Catherine’s drawn and quartered, which is to say hanged by the neck, taken down while still alive, disemboweled, castrated, decapitated, and cut into four. The throne passed to Henry’s son [[Edward VI of England|Edward]], then to Henry’s daughter [[Mary I of England|Mary]], and then to another daughter, [[Elizabeth I of England|Elizabeth]]. “Bloody Mary” did not get her nickname by putting tomato juice in her [[vodka]] but by having three hundred [[Anglicanism|religious dissenters]] burned at the stake. And both sisters kept up the family tradition for how to resolve domestic squabbles: Mary imprisoned Elizabeth and presided over the execution of their cousin, [[w:Lady_Jane_Grey|Lady Jane Grey]], and Elizabeth executed another cousin, [[Mary, Queen of Scots|Mary Queen of Scots]]. Elizabeth also had 123 [[Priest|priests]] drawn and quartered, and had other enemies tortured with bone-crushing manacles, another attraction on display in the Tower. Today the British royal family is excoriated for shortcomings ranging from rudeness to infidelity. You’d think people would give them credit for not having had a single relative decapitated, nor a single rival drawn and quartered. ** [[Steven Pinker]], ''The Better Angels of Our Nature'' (2012) *One thing above all they assuredly would not forget; [[w:House of Lancaster|Lancastrian]] or [[w:House of York|Yorkist]], squire or lord, priest or layman; they would point to the kingship of [[England]], and its emblems everywhere visible. The immemorial arms, gules, three leopards or, though quartered late with [[France]], azure, three fleurs de lis argent; and older still, the crown itself and that sceptred awe, in which [[w:Edward the Confessor|Saint Edward the Englishman]] still seemed to sit in [[w:Coronation Chair|his own chair]] to claim the allegiance of all the English. Symbol, yet source of power; person of flesh and blood, yet incarnation of an idea; the kingship would have seemed to them, as it seems to us, to express the qualities that are peculiarly England's. The unity of England, effortless and unconstrained, which accepts the unlimited supremacy of Crown in Parliament so naturally as not to be aware of it; the homogeneity of England, so profound and embracing that the counties and the regions make it a hobby to discover their differences and assert their peculiarities; the continuity of England, which has brought this unity and this homogeneity about by the slow alchemy of centuries. **[[Enoch Powell]], speech to the Royal Society of St George (22 April 1961), quoted in ''A Nation Not Afraid: The Thinking of Enoch Powell'' (1965), p. 145 *When we speak of the pride and self-confidence of our nation, the Crown—the Monarchy—is absolutely central; nor do I know how better one would gauge the state of this nation's psychological health, of its national morale, than by its attitude towards its greatest, its unique, institution... Of all the sources of true and proper pride to a British person none is greater than the common possession of the Crown. I use the word "possession" advisedly, in its full and most literal sense. Because our Crown is the product of the history of this nation, because it grows like an oak in the soil of these islands, it is therefore the personal possession of every citizen and subject, however humble, however poor. It is a total misconception...to suppose that there is anything of class, anything which is restrictive or destricted, about the Crown. Whatever may be said of any other institution, the Crown is the common, precious and hereditary jewel of all British subjects and of all the people of this country. To approach that common possession, that symbol and personification, with the attitude, "How ungenerous can we be? How little can we contrive to spend upon it? How much can we clip?"—not of its magnificence, for it has ever been the pride of English greatness not to be magnificent through lavishness, but in more fundamental ways—"How much can we restrict the outward signs and manifestations of what the Crown is to this country?" is a sign that we are still divorced from the pride and self-confidence without which a nation cannot face the world and without which this nation cannot learn to face the world again. **[[Enoch Powell]], [http://hansard.millbanksystems.com/commons/1975/dec/04/civil-list-bill#column_1990 speech] in the House of Commons (4 December 1975) *The monarchy has this great advantage, that it provides us with a symbol to which we can all look, whether overseas or at home, the visible embodiment of the unity of our peoples and form of society — a head which is at the same time separate from the centre of real political power. **[[A. L. Rowse]], 'The Rhythm of English History', ''The English Spirit: Essays in History and Literature'' (1944), p. 24 *The monarchy serves the indispensable purpose of giving us continuity and at the same time flexibility: whatever the changes and chances of politics, there is a figure to which we can look, and that applies both at home and within the Commonwealth overseas. It is probable that no other constitutional form would fulfill that purpose anything like so well: it has shown a really remarkable flexibility and capacity for adaptation. In that sense the monarchy may be truly described as a democratic monarchy, an institution which is a help to the smooth and efficient working of democracy, and not a hindrance. **[[A. L. Rowse]], 'The Rhythm of English History', ''The English Spirit: Essays in History and Literature'' (1944), p. 25 *The irony of England is that it was monarchical power that helped drive the shift away from early [[democracy]], and so modern democracy incorporates an element of [[Tyranny|autocracy]]. It is for this reason that once Parliament became supreme after 1688, [[William Blackstone]], the famous jurist, would write that it had “[[Absolutism|absolute despotic power]].” While England initiated the development of modern democracy, it was slow to advance the process further. Even after what is commonly known as the [[w:Great Reform Act 1832|“Great Reform Act” of 1832]], only a tiny fraction of the total population could vote. Here we face a puzzle: while seventeenth-century English [[Radicalism|radicals]] like the [[w:Levellers|Levellers]] first conceived of [[w:Universal male suffrage|universal male suffrage]] as a way to govern a society, their ideas would first be implemented in [[North America]] and not in England. Though we often think of [[United States Declaration of Independence|1776]] or [[Constitutional Convention (United States)|1787]] as the beginning of [[United States|American democracy]], from the seventeenth century a very broad suffrage—for free white males— became the norm in [[w:British America|England’s North American colonies]]. **David Stasavage, ''The Decline and Rise of Democracy: A Global History from Antiquity to Today'' (2020), p. 18 *Instead of a little power, occasionally exercised at the expense of great unpopularity, the Monarch, by retiring from politics, acquired an immense popularity outside, and retained important influence behind the scenes. The new popularity of the Monarch was proved at the Jubilees of [[Victoria of the United Kingdom|Victoria]] and of [[George V of the United Kingdom|George V]]. The new English Democracy is in love with the Crown. Radicalism, founded by [[Thomas Paine|Tom Paine]] in the days of [[George III of the United Kingdom|George III]], had had strong Republican tendencies, but they had withered away as the Crown retired from politics. The modern Labour Party has no quarrel with the English Monarchy. The symbolic importance of the Monarch has greatly increased even in our own day. The Crown is the one symbol that all classes and parties can without reservation accept. **[[G. M. Trevelyan]], 'Monarchy and the Constitution: A Historical Survey', ''The Times'' (11 May 1937), p. 41 ==External links== {{wikipedia}} {{Commons category|British monarchy}} *[https://www.royal.uk/ Official website of the British monarchy] [[Category:Politics of the United Kingdom]] tvelmcl1oxe65qkdunzl5goxb7xihod 0 250620 3942120 3901054 2026-05-17T17:59:56Z Woofboy 2984402 /* About Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor */ 3942120 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Prince Andrew, Duke of York (cropped).jpg|thumb|I could have worse tags than ‘Air Miles Andy’, although I don’t know what they are.]] '''[[w:Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor|Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor]]''', (Andrew Albert Christian Edward; born 19 February 1960), formerly known as '''Prince Andrew, Duke of York''', is the third child and second son of Queen [[Elizabeth II]] and [[Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh]]; his elder brother is King [[Charles III]]. A former close associate of [[Jeffrey Epstein]], in February 2026, Mountbatten-Windsor was arrested on suspicion of [[w:Malfeasance in office|misconduct in public office]]. Andrew served in the [[Royal Navy]] as a helicopter pilot, the captain of a warship and saw active service during the [[Falklands War]]. In 1986, he married [[Sarah Ferguson]] and became Duke of York. They have two daughters: [[Princess Beatrice|Beatrice]] and [[Princess Eugenie|Eugenie]]. The couple separated in 1992, and divorced in 1996. As Duke of York, Andrew undertook official duties and engagements on behalf of his mother, Queen Elizabeth II. He served as the UK's Special Representative for International Trade and Investment for 10 years until July 2011. [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Giuffre]] (originally Roberts) claimed that, as a 17-year old, she was sex trafficked to Prince Andrew by the American financier and convicted sex offender [[Jeffrey Epstein]]. The prince denied any wrongdoing. Following criticism for his association with Epstein and his interview with [[w:Emily Maitlis|Emily Maitlis]] in a November 2019 special edition of ''[[w:Newsnight|Newsnight]]'', he resigned from public roles in May 2020, and his honorary military affiliations and royal charitable patronages were returned to his mother in January 2022. He was the defendant in a civil lawsuit over sexual assault filed by Giuffre in the State of New York, which was settled out of court in February 2022. He renounced his titles of Duke of York, GCVO, and KG in October 2025, though legally he still holds them, and lost his right to be described as a prince. His arrest in 2026 followed allegations over his former role as UK trade envoy and his contacts with Jeffrey Epstein. ==Quotes== * It’s a simple answer. That’s my life. That’s what I expect. Right? That is because of who I am and that is because of the life of the family within which I’ve been brought up. So to me this state of affairs is not extraordinary. To anybody else who looks in, they think I’m bloody mad! But that’s what we do. ** From Andrew Edgecliffe-Johnson, [https://www.ft.com/content/72c219cc-bf63-11de-a696-00144feab49a "Dinner with the FT: Prince Andrew"], ''Financial Times'' (23 October 2009) ** Describing his view of the his role as a member of the Royal Family fulfilling hundreds of engagements each year. * Well, if you’ll pardon the expression, that really is the n***** in the woodpile ** When asked if the department of trade could be doing a better job, as recorded by Rohan Silva in '[https://www.standard.co.uk/comment/comment/prince-andrew-rohan-silva-language-a4289571.html Rohan Silva: Prince Andrew’s use of language left me reeling — and I still regret not challenging his choice of words]' (2019), ''Evening Standard'' * Please make sure that every statement or legal letter states clearly that I am NOT involved and that I knew and know NOTHING about any of these allegations. I can't take any more of this my end. ** From an email to [[Jeffrey Epstein]] and [[Ghislaine Maxwell]] (March 2011), as cited in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cglgj08erywo.amp "Epstein email says Andrew had photo taken with Virginia Giuffre"], ''BBC News'' (13 November 2025) ** The 2001 photograph of Mountbatten-Windsor, Maxwell and Virginia Roberts Giuffre at Maxwell's London home was about to be published by ''The Mail on Sunday'' * I could have worse tags than ‘Air Miles Andy’, although I don’t know what they are. ** Attributed in Marina Hyde, [https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/aug/10/prince-andrew-sweating-lawsuit-duke-york-virginia-giuffre "Of course Prince Andrew isn’t sweating over this lawsuit – he can’t"], ''The Guardian'' (11 August 2021) * [On his military service during the [[w:Falklands War|Falklands War]] in 1982] So whilst I think back to a day when a young man went to war, full of bravado, I returned a changed man. * I put away childish things and false bravado and returned a man full in the knowledge of human frailty and suffering. * My reflection makes me think even harder and pray even more fervently for those in conflict today, for those family’s [sic] torn apart by the horrors they have witnessed. **Comments on the Instagram account of his ex-wife, [[Sarah Ferguson]] (March 2022), as cited in [https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/apr/02/i-returned-a-changed-man-prince-andrew-reflects-on-his-falklands-war-service "I returned a changed man’: Prince Andrew deletes Falklands war post"], ''The Guardian'' (2 April 2022) ==="[[w:Prince Andrew & the Epstein Scandal|Prince Andrew & the Epstein Scandal]]" (2019)=== :<small>'''''[[w:Newsnight|Newsnight]]'' interview with Emily Maitlis (broadcast 16 November 2019).'''</small> *[T]he people that I met and the opportunities that I was given to learn either by him or because of him were actually very useful. *I kick myself for, on a daily basis, because it was not something that was becoming of a member of the royal family [...] And we try and uphold the highest standards and practices and I let the side down, simple as that. **[https://time.com/5731244/prince-andrew-interview-epstein/ "Prince Andrew Says He Doesn't Regret His 'Very Useful' Relationship With Jeffrey Epstein"] ''[[w:Time (magazine)|Time]]'' magazine (18 November 2019) cited from ''[[w:Newsnight|Newsnight]]'' interview with Emily Maitlis (broadcast 16 November 2019) * [On his alleged meetings with [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Giuffre]], his accuser] I don't know if I've met her but no, I have no recollection of meeting her. * [[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/feb/15/virginia-giuffre-prince-andrew-picture-settlement-lawsuit On the 2001 photograph of himself] with Giuffre (then Roberts) and [[Ghislaine Maxwell]]] I have absolutely no memory of that photograph ever being taken. * [Asked on how the photograph might have been faked] I don't believe it's a picture of me in London because . . . when I go out in London I wear a suit and tie. [...] Nobody can prove whether or not that photograph has been doctored but I don't recollect that photograph ever being taken. [...] I'm at a loss to explain this particular photograph. ** [https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/prince-andrew-interview-ive-got-to-have-a-thick-skin-and-get-on-with-it-sgcqwqwlr "Prince Andrew interview: 'I've got to have a thick skin and get on with it'"], ''The Sunday Times'' (London, 16 November 2019) ** See ''[[w:Virginia Giuffre v. Prince Andrew|Virginia Giuffre v. Prince Andrew]]'' for her civil litigation against the Prince. [https://www.nytimes.com/2022/02/15/nyregion/prince-andrew-virginia-giuffre-settlement.html The case was resolved out of court] in February 2022 without the Prince admitting liability; he was never criminally charged. [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-60397947 The financial settlement] was not disclosed, but was said to run into millions of pounds. * If you're a man it is a positive act to have sex with somebody [...] You have to … take some sort of positive action and so therefore if you try to forget it’s very difficult to try and forget a positive action and I do not remember anything. * [Explaining that he could not have had sex with [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Giuffre]] (then Roberts) at the [[London]] home of [[Ghislaine Maxwell]]] I was with the children and I’d taken Beatrice to a [[w:PizzaExpress|Pizza Express]] in Woking for a party at I suppose four or five in the afternoon. And then because the duchess [Sarah Ferguson] was away, we have a simple rule in the family that when one is away the other is there. * [Explaining why he stayed at the New York home of [[Jeffrey Epstein|Epstein]], a convicted child sex offender, in 2010.] It was a convenient place to stay... At the end of the day, with the benefit of all the hindsight one can have, it was definitely the wrong thing to do. But at the time, I felt it was the honourable and right thing to do. And I admit fully that my judgment was probably coloured by my tendency to be too honourable but that is just the way it is. ** Cited in Jamie Doward [https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/nov/16/prince-andrew-denies-sex-with-teenager-as-at-home-after-pizza-party "Prince Andrew: I didn’t have sex with teenager, I was home after Pizza Express in Woking"] ''The Guardian'' (17 November 2019). * [Explaining why Virginia Giuffre's allegations against him of sexual assault couldn't be believed.] I didn’t sweat at the time because I had suffered what I would describe as an overdose of adrenaline in the [[Falklands War]], when I was shot at ... it was almost impossible for me to sweat. **Quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/prince-andrew-jeffrey-epstein-sweat-allegations-pizza-expresss-a9208496.html "Prince Andrew claimed he ‘didn’t sweat’ in BBC interview... but what does science say?], ''The Independent'' (26 Nov 2019) ==Quotes about Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor== * I met him [Prince Andrew] several times, including once at a state banquet where after dinner, I and my husband and another Labour cabinet minister had a drink with him, and I have to say the conversation left us slack-jawed with the things that he felt it was appropriate to say. :It was a state dinner for the Saudi royal family and he made racist comments about Arabs that were unbelievable. :The fact he thought we might find this amusing was sort of a terrible situation to be in. I don’t think he’s very bright. I don’t think he really understands the way in which he behaves. He’s the worst end of the royal family, I think. :I am not going to tell you exactly what he said but it involved a comment about camels. It is as worse as you could imagine. ** Former home secretary Jacqui Smith on LBC, as quoted in Chris Baynes, '[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/prince-andrew-racist-arabs-saudi-royal-family-dinner-jacqui-smith-epstein-a9209391.html Prince Andrew made racist comments about Arabs at Buckingham Palace dinner, claims former home secretary]' (2019), ''The Independent'' *(Former royal protection officer Paul Page speaking about the duke’s private apartment) It had about 50 or 60 stuffed toys positioned on the bed. And, basically, there was a card the inspector showed us in a drawer, and it was a picture of these [[w:teddy bear|bears]] all in situ on the bed. And the reason for the laminated picture was that, if those bears weren’t put back in the right order by the maids, he would shout and scream and become verbally abusive. ** Page quoted speaking in the ''ITV'' programme ''Ghislaine, Prince Andrew and the Paedophile'' in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/ghislaine-maxwell-itv-page-prince-two-b1994572.html Andrew’s teddy bear collection was not to be disturbed, claims documentary], ''The Independent'' (17 January 2022) [[File:Jacques-Louis David - Marie Antoinette on the Way to the Guillotine.jpg|thumb|"The Widow [[w:House of Capet|Capet]]" ~ [[Peter Hitchens]] and [[Mary Kenny]]]] * Andrew, unfortunately, exhibited classic symptoms of what is scientifically recognised as the [[w:Dunning–Kruger effect|Dunning-Kruger effect]], the cognitive bias in which people come to believe that they are smarter and more capable than they really are. The combination of minimal self-awareness and dim wattage leads sufferers of this condition to overestimate their own capabilities. Years of enjoying unearned obeisance to his royal position allowed Andrew to bang on with a combination of overweening self-confidence and unchallenged ignorance. It also made him an easy mark for con men and crooks. ** [[Tina Brown]], extract from her book ''The Palace Papers'', as cited in [https://www.telegraph.co.uk/royal-family/2022/04/11/jeffrey-epstein-told-people-prince-andrew-idiot-useful-one/ "'Jeffrey Epstein told people that Prince Andrew was an idiot – but a useful one'"], ''The Telegraph'' (11 April 2022) * I have learned with the deepest concern the news about Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor and suspicion of misconduct in public office.<br />What now follows is the full, fair and proper process by which this issue is investigated in the appropriate manner and by the appropriate authorities. In this, as I have said before, they have our full and wholehearted support and co-operation. Let me state clearly: the law must take its course.<br />As this process continues, it would not be right for me to comment further on this matter. Meanwhile, my family and I will continue in our duty and service to you all. ** [[Charles III|Charles R]] (as signed), statement cited in [https://www.thetimes.com/uk/royal-family/article/andrew-arrested-misconduct-public-office-sandringham-5k6nzwjr2 "Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor arrested for misconduct in public office"], ''The Times'' {19 February 2026). ** The former prince was arrested on what was his 66th birthday. * On 10 March 2001 we were in London, staying at [Ghislaine] Maxwell’s pied-à-terre – a white mews house a short walk from Hyde Park. * In the years since, I've thought a lot about how he behaved. He was friendly enough, but still entitled – as if he believed having sex with me was his birthright. I drew him a hot bath. We disrobed and got in the tub, but didn't stay there long because the prince was eager to get to the bed. He was particularly attentive to my feet, caressing my toes and licking my arches. That was a first for me, and it tickled. I was nervous he would want me to do the same to him. But I needn't have worried. He seemed in a rush to have intercourse. Afterward, he said thank you in his clipped British accent. In my memory, the whole thing lasted less than half an hour.<br />The next morning, Maxwell told me: "You did well. The prince had fun." Epstein would give me $15,000 for servicing the man the tabloids called “Randy Andy”. * My second encounter with Prince Andrew took place about a month later, at Epstein's townhouse in New York. Epstein greeted Andrew and brought him to the living room, where Maxwell and I were sitting. Another one of their victims, Johanna Sjoberg, arrived soon afterward. Maxwell then announced to the prince that she'd purchased him a joke gift, a puppet that looked just like him. She suggested we pose for a photo with it. The prince and I sat down next to each other on the couch, and Maxwell put the puppet in my lap, positioning one of its hands on one of my breasts. Then she put Sjoberg on the prince's lap, and the prince put his hand on Sjoberg's breast. The symbolism was impossible to ignore. Johanna and I were Maxwell and Epstein's puppets, and they were pulling the strings. * I don't know exactly when I had sex with Prince Andrew for the third time, but I do know the location: a 72-acre island Epstein owned in the US Virgin Islands. The private sanctuary, right next to Saint Thomas island, was called Little Saint James, but Epstein liked to call it "Little Saint Jeff's". I also know that it was not just the two of us this time; it was an orgy. "I was around 18," I said in a sworn declaration in 2015. "Epstein, Andy, and approximately eight other young girls and I had sex together. The other girls all appeared to be under the age of 18 and didn't really speak English. Epstein laughed about how they couldn’t really communicate, saying they are the easiest girls to get along with."<br />Since I gave that account, Epstein’s pilot has said in a deposition that a coded notation ("AP") that he made on his flight log for 4 July 2001, referred to Prince Andrew. He said that Epstein, the prince, another woman and I flew from Saint Thomas that day back to Palm Beach. I guess it's possible that the orgy I remember occurred in the days leading up to that flight, which would mean I was still 17. I'll probably never know the date for certain. What I do know, because Epstein told me, is that [[w:Jean-Luc Brunel|Jean-Luc Brunel]], the French modelling agent who was also in attendance, supplied the other girls who took part. ** [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Roberts Giuffre]] ''Nobody’s Girl: A Memoir of Surviving Abuse and Fighting for Justice'' (Doubleday (UK)/Alfred A Knopf (US)/Penguin Random House (Aus), 2025), as cited in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/oct/15/prince-andrew-virginia-giuffre-abuse-epstein-maxwell "'Prince Andrew believed having sex with me was his birthright': Virginia Giuffre on her abuse at the hands of Epstein, Maxwell and the king's brother"], ''The Guardian'' (15 October 2025) * Is this a [[Marie Antoinette|Marie-Antoinette]] moment for the British monarchy? What first triggered animosity against the queen of France was a slew of excited publications stressing her extravagance and indulgence in flagrant luxury, as well as her alleged sexual decadence (an entirely false claim). Before being guillotined, her name was humiliatingly demoted – just like Andrew's – to "the Widow Capet". ** [[Mary Kenny]], [https://www.independent.ie/opinion/comment/mary-kenny-has-andrew-brought-the-british-royal-family-to-its-marie-antoinette-moment/a7899354.html "Has Andrew brought the British royal family to its Marie-Antoinette moment?"], ''[[w:Irish Independent|Irish Independent]]'' (8 November 2025). Echoing earlier comments by [[Peter Hitchens]] from an interview on {{w|Times Radio}} (1 November 2025): "I'll be accused...of defending "Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor", as we must now call him, in French-Revolutionary style, as I think Marie Antoinette ended up being called "The Widow Capet" in the same fashion." [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HkGEOkYkgY&t=239s] * Andrew's room service demands soon came to the attention of [[w:Andrew MacGregor Marshall|Andrew MacGregor Marshall]], Reuters' [[Thailand]] correspondent who had friends and connections in the hotel: :During his short stay, more than forty women were brought to his room. Often, as soon as one left, another would arrive. Hotel staff were amazed - they ware used to foreigners bringing girls to their room, but more than ten a day were going to Andrew's room. And this was all juggled amid official engagements. :[...] Many speak of how Andrew's staff often requested that attractive women be invited to events, with a private secretary specifying, 'He likes blondes', to which one consul replied, 'I'm a diplomat, not a pimp.' ** [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], ''Entitled: The Rise and Fall of the House of York'' (HarperCollins, 2025) * the duke didn't relate well to less senior contacts or staff. 'He didn't seem to understand the responsibilities or accountability that came with his status, or think through the consequences of what he said for those with less privilege,' said the ambassador. Although as a senior royal, Andrew was a high-ranking asset, he was also a liability who had to be managed, self-centred and showed little interest in the problems of others. ** [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], ''Entitled: The Rise and Fall of the House of York'' (HarperCollins, 2025) * In 2001 I was in London when [redacted] met a number of friends of mine including Prince Andrew. A photograph was taken as I imagine she wanted to show it to friends and family. ** [[Ghislaine Maxwell]] in an email to Jeffrey Epstein (2015), as cited in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvgp2xx7gxjo "Email appears to confirm Andrew and Virginia Giuffre photo is real"], ''BBC News'' (4 February 2026). ** From a document released by the [[w:United States Department of Justice|U.S. Department of Justice]] contained in the [[w:Epstein files|Epstein files]]. ==External links== {{wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Mountbatten-Windsor, Andrew}} [[Category:1960 births]] [[Category:Living people]] [[Category:Anglicans from the United Kingdom]] [[Category:People from London]] [[Category:House of Windsor]] l5brbel072ywg8vobrh0hcis63r5dl9 3942121 3942120 2026-05-17T18:00:40Z Woofboy 2984402 /* Quotes about Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor */ formatting 3942121 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Prince Andrew, Duke of York (cropped).jpg|thumb|I could have worse tags than ‘Air Miles Andy’, although I don’t know what they are.]] '''[[w:Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor|Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor]]''', (Andrew Albert Christian Edward; born 19 February 1960), formerly known as '''Prince Andrew, Duke of York''', is the third child and second son of Queen [[Elizabeth II]] and [[Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh]]; his elder brother is King [[Charles III]]. A former close associate of [[Jeffrey Epstein]], in February 2026, Mountbatten-Windsor was arrested on suspicion of [[w:Malfeasance in office|misconduct in public office]]. Andrew served in the [[Royal Navy]] as a helicopter pilot, the captain of a warship and saw active service during the [[Falklands War]]. In 1986, he married [[Sarah Ferguson]] and became Duke of York. They have two daughters: [[Princess Beatrice|Beatrice]] and [[Princess Eugenie|Eugenie]]. The couple separated in 1992, and divorced in 1996. As Duke of York, Andrew undertook official duties and engagements on behalf of his mother, Queen Elizabeth II. He served as the UK's Special Representative for International Trade and Investment for 10 years until July 2011. [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Giuffre]] (originally Roberts) claimed that, as a 17-year old, she was sex trafficked to Prince Andrew by the American financier and convicted sex offender [[Jeffrey Epstein]]. The prince denied any wrongdoing. Following criticism for his association with Epstein and his interview with [[w:Emily Maitlis|Emily Maitlis]] in a November 2019 special edition of ''[[w:Newsnight|Newsnight]]'', he resigned from public roles in May 2020, and his honorary military affiliations and royal charitable patronages were returned to his mother in January 2022. He was the defendant in a civil lawsuit over sexual assault filed by Giuffre in the State of New York, which was settled out of court in February 2022. He renounced his titles of Duke of York, GCVO, and KG in October 2025, though legally he still holds them, and lost his right to be described as a prince. His arrest in 2026 followed allegations over his former role as UK trade envoy and his contacts with Jeffrey Epstein. ==Quotes== * It’s a simple answer. That’s my life. That’s what I expect. Right? That is because of who I am and that is because of the life of the family within which I’ve been brought up. So to me this state of affairs is not extraordinary. To anybody else who looks in, they think I’m bloody mad! But that’s what we do. ** From Andrew Edgecliffe-Johnson, [https://www.ft.com/content/72c219cc-bf63-11de-a696-00144feab49a "Dinner with the FT: Prince Andrew"], ''Financial Times'' (23 October 2009) ** Describing his view of the his role as a member of the Royal Family fulfilling hundreds of engagements each year. * Well, if you’ll pardon the expression, that really is the n***** in the woodpile ** When asked if the department of trade could be doing a better job, as recorded by Rohan Silva in '[https://www.standard.co.uk/comment/comment/prince-andrew-rohan-silva-language-a4289571.html Rohan Silva: Prince Andrew’s use of language left me reeling — and I still regret not challenging his choice of words]' (2019), ''Evening Standard'' * Please make sure that every statement or legal letter states clearly that I am NOT involved and that I knew and know NOTHING about any of these allegations. I can't take any more of this my end. ** From an email to [[Jeffrey Epstein]] and [[Ghislaine Maxwell]] (March 2011), as cited in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cglgj08erywo.amp "Epstein email says Andrew had photo taken with Virginia Giuffre"], ''BBC News'' (13 November 2025) ** The 2001 photograph of Mountbatten-Windsor, Maxwell and Virginia Roberts Giuffre at Maxwell's London home was about to be published by ''The Mail on Sunday'' * I could have worse tags than ‘Air Miles Andy’, although I don’t know what they are. ** Attributed in Marina Hyde, [https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/aug/10/prince-andrew-sweating-lawsuit-duke-york-virginia-giuffre "Of course Prince Andrew isn’t sweating over this lawsuit – he can’t"], ''The Guardian'' (11 August 2021) * [On his military service during the [[w:Falklands War|Falklands War]] in 1982] So whilst I think back to a day when a young man went to war, full of bravado, I returned a changed man. * I put away childish things and false bravado and returned a man full in the knowledge of human frailty and suffering. * My reflection makes me think even harder and pray even more fervently for those in conflict today, for those family’s [sic] torn apart by the horrors they have witnessed. **Comments on the Instagram account of his ex-wife, [[Sarah Ferguson]] (March 2022), as cited in [https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/apr/02/i-returned-a-changed-man-prince-andrew-reflects-on-his-falklands-war-service "I returned a changed man’: Prince Andrew deletes Falklands war post"], ''The Guardian'' (2 April 2022) ==="[[w:Prince Andrew & the Epstein Scandal|Prince Andrew & the Epstein Scandal]]" (2019)=== :<small>'''''[[w:Newsnight|Newsnight]]'' interview with Emily Maitlis (broadcast 16 November 2019).'''</small> *[T]he people that I met and the opportunities that I was given to learn either by him or because of him were actually very useful. *I kick myself for, on a daily basis, because it was not something that was becoming of a member of the royal family [...] And we try and uphold the highest standards and practices and I let the side down, simple as that. **[https://time.com/5731244/prince-andrew-interview-epstein/ "Prince Andrew Says He Doesn't Regret His 'Very Useful' Relationship With Jeffrey Epstein"] ''[[w:Time (magazine)|Time]]'' magazine (18 November 2019) cited from ''[[w:Newsnight|Newsnight]]'' interview with Emily Maitlis (broadcast 16 November 2019) * [On his alleged meetings with [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Giuffre]], his accuser] I don't know if I've met her but no, I have no recollection of meeting her. * [[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/feb/15/virginia-giuffre-prince-andrew-picture-settlement-lawsuit On the 2001 photograph of himself] with Giuffre (then Roberts) and [[Ghislaine Maxwell]]] I have absolutely no memory of that photograph ever being taken. * [Asked on how the photograph might have been faked] I don't believe it's a picture of me in London because . . . when I go out in London I wear a suit and tie. [...] Nobody can prove whether or not that photograph has been doctored but I don't recollect that photograph ever being taken. [...] I'm at a loss to explain this particular photograph. ** [https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/prince-andrew-interview-ive-got-to-have-a-thick-skin-and-get-on-with-it-sgcqwqwlr "Prince Andrew interview: 'I've got to have a thick skin and get on with it'"], ''The Sunday Times'' (London, 16 November 2019) ** See ''[[w:Virginia Giuffre v. Prince Andrew|Virginia Giuffre v. Prince Andrew]]'' for her civil litigation against the Prince. [https://www.nytimes.com/2022/02/15/nyregion/prince-andrew-virginia-giuffre-settlement.html The case was resolved out of court] in February 2022 without the Prince admitting liability; he was never criminally charged. [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-60397947 The financial settlement] was not disclosed, but was said to run into millions of pounds. * If you're a man it is a positive act to have sex with somebody [...] You have to … take some sort of positive action and so therefore if you try to forget it’s very difficult to try and forget a positive action and I do not remember anything. * [Explaining that he could not have had sex with [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Giuffre]] (then Roberts) at the [[London]] home of [[Ghislaine Maxwell]]] I was with the children and I’d taken Beatrice to a [[w:PizzaExpress|Pizza Express]] in Woking for a party at I suppose four or five in the afternoon. And then because the duchess [Sarah Ferguson] was away, we have a simple rule in the family that when one is away the other is there. * [Explaining why he stayed at the New York home of [[Jeffrey Epstein|Epstein]], a convicted child sex offender, in 2010.] It was a convenient place to stay... At the end of the day, with the benefit of all the hindsight one can have, it was definitely the wrong thing to do. But at the time, I felt it was the honourable and right thing to do. And I admit fully that my judgment was probably coloured by my tendency to be too honourable but that is just the way it is. ** Cited in Jamie Doward [https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/nov/16/prince-andrew-denies-sex-with-teenager-as-at-home-after-pizza-party "Prince Andrew: I didn’t have sex with teenager, I was home after Pizza Express in Woking"] ''The Guardian'' (17 November 2019). * [Explaining why Virginia Giuffre's allegations against him of sexual assault couldn't be believed.] I didn’t sweat at the time because I had suffered what I would describe as an overdose of adrenaline in the [[Falklands War]], when I was shot at ... it was almost impossible for me to sweat. **Quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/prince-andrew-jeffrey-epstein-sweat-allegations-pizza-expresss-a9208496.html "Prince Andrew claimed he ‘didn’t sweat’ in BBC interview... but what does science say?], ''The Independent'' (26 Nov 2019) ==Quotes about Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor== * I met him [Prince Andrew] several times, including once at a state banquet where after dinner, I and my husband and another Labour cabinet minister had a drink with him, and I have to say the conversation left us slack-jawed with the things that he felt it was appropriate to say. :It was a state dinner for the Saudi royal family and he made racist comments about Arabs that were unbelievable. :The fact he thought we might find this amusing was sort of a terrible situation to be in. I don’t think he’s very bright. I don’t think he really understands the way in which he behaves. He’s the worst end of the royal family, I think. :I am not going to tell you exactly what he said but it involved a comment about camels. It is as worse as you could imagine. ** Former home secretary Jacqui Smith on LBC, as quoted in Chris Baynes, '[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/prince-andrew-racist-arabs-saudi-royal-family-dinner-jacqui-smith-epstein-a9209391.html Prince Andrew made racist comments about Arabs at Buckingham Palace dinner, claims former home secretary]' (2019), ''The Independent'' *(Former royal protection officer Paul Page speaking about the duke’s private apartment) It had about 50 or 60 stuffed toys positioned on the bed. And, basically, there was a card the inspector showed us in a drawer, and it was a picture of these [[w:teddy bear|bears]] all in situ on the bed. And the reason for the laminated picture was that, if those bears weren’t put back in the right order by the maids, he would shout and scream and become verbally abusive. ** Page quoted speaking in the ''ITV'' programme ''Ghislaine, Prince Andrew and the Paedophile'' in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/ghislaine-maxwell-itv-page-prince-two-b1994572.html Andrew’s teddy bear collection was not to be disturbed, claims documentary], ''The Independent'' (17 January 2022) [[File:Jacques-Louis David - Marie Antoinette on the Way to the Guillotine.jpg|thumb|"The Widow [[w:House of Capet|Capet]]" ~ [[Peter Hitchens]] and [[Mary Kenny]]]] * Andrew, unfortunately, exhibited classic symptoms of what is scientifically recognised as the [[w:Dunning–Kruger effect|Dunning-Kruger effect]], the cognitive bias in which people come to believe that they are smarter and more capable than they really are. The combination of minimal self-awareness and dim wattage leads sufferers of this condition to overestimate their own capabilities. Years of enjoying unearned obeisance to his royal position allowed Andrew to bang on with a combination of overweening self-confidence and unchallenged ignorance. It also made him an easy mark for con men and crooks. ** [[Tina Brown]], extract from her book ''The Palace Papers'', as cited in [https://www.telegraph.co.uk/royal-family/2022/04/11/jeffrey-epstein-told-people-prince-andrew-idiot-useful-one/ "'Jeffrey Epstein told people that Prince Andrew was an idiot – but a useful one'"], ''The Telegraph'' (11 April 2022) * I have learned with the deepest concern the news about Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor and suspicion of misconduct in public office.<br />What now follows is the full, fair and proper process by which this issue is investigated in the appropriate manner and by the appropriate authorities. In this, as I have said before, they have our full and wholehearted support and co-operation. Let me state clearly: the law must take its course.<br />As this process continues, it would not be right for me to comment further on this matter. Meanwhile, my family and I will continue in our duty and service to you all. ** [[Charles III|Charles R]] (as signed), statement cited in [https://www.thetimes.com/uk/royal-family/article/andrew-arrested-misconduct-public-office-sandringham-5k6nzwjr2 "Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor arrested for misconduct in public office"], ''The Times'' {19 February 2026). ** The former prince was arrested on what was his 66th birthday. * On 10 March 2001 we were in London, staying at [Ghislaine] Maxwell’s pied-à-terre – a white mews house a short walk from Hyde Park. * In the years since, I've thought a lot about how he behaved. He was friendly enough, but still entitled – as if he believed having sex with me was his birthright. I drew him a hot bath. We disrobed and got in the tub, but didn't stay there long because the prince was eager to get to the bed. He was particularly attentive to my feet, caressing my toes and licking my arches. That was a first for me, and it tickled. I was nervous he would want me to do the same to him. But I needn't have worried. He seemed in a rush to have intercourse. Afterward, he said thank you in his clipped British accent. In my memory, the whole thing lasted less than half an hour.<br />The next morning, Maxwell told me: "You did well. The prince had fun." Epstein would give me $15,000 for servicing the man the tabloids called “Randy Andy”. * My second encounter with Prince Andrew took place about a month later, at Epstein's townhouse in New York. Epstein greeted Andrew and brought him to the living room, where Maxwell and I were sitting. Another one of their victims, Johanna Sjoberg, arrived soon afterward. Maxwell then announced to the prince that she'd purchased him a joke gift, a puppet that looked just like him. She suggested we pose for a photo with it. The prince and I sat down next to each other on the couch, and Maxwell put the puppet in my lap, positioning one of its hands on one of my breasts. Then she put Sjoberg on the prince's lap, and the prince put his hand on Sjoberg's breast. The symbolism was impossible to ignore. Johanna and I were Maxwell and Epstein's puppets, and they were pulling the strings. * I don't know exactly when I had sex with Prince Andrew for the third time, but I do know the location: a 72-acre island Epstein owned in the US Virgin Islands. The private sanctuary, right next to Saint Thomas island, was called Little Saint James, but Epstein liked to call it "Little Saint Jeff's". I also know that it was not just the two of us this time; it was an orgy. "I was around 18," I said in a sworn declaration in 2015. "Epstein, Andy, and approximately eight other young girls and I had sex together. The other girls all appeared to be under the age of 18 and didn't really speak English. Epstein laughed about how they couldn’t really communicate, saying they are the easiest girls to get along with."<br />Since I gave that account, Epstein’s pilot has said in a deposition that a coded notation ("AP") that he made on his flight log for 4 July 2001, referred to Prince Andrew. He said that Epstein, the prince, another woman and I flew from Saint Thomas that day back to Palm Beach. I guess it's possible that the orgy I remember occurred in the days leading up to that flight, which would mean I was still 17. I'll probably never know the date for certain. What I do know, because Epstein told me, is that [[w:Jean-Luc Brunel|Jean-Luc Brunel]], the French modelling agent who was also in attendance, supplied the other girls who took part. ** [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Roberts Giuffre]] ''Nobody’s Girl: A Memoir of Surviving Abuse and Fighting for Justice'' (Doubleday (UK)/Alfred A Knopf (US)/Penguin Random House (Aus), 2025), as cited in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/oct/15/prince-andrew-virginia-giuffre-abuse-epstein-maxwell "'Prince Andrew believed having sex with me was his birthright': Virginia Giuffre on her abuse at the hands of Epstein, Maxwell and the king's brother"], ''The Guardian'' (15 October 2025) * Is this a [[Marie Antoinette|Marie-Antoinette]] moment for the British monarchy? What first triggered animosity against the queen of France was a slew of excited publications stressing her extravagance and indulgence in flagrant luxury, as well as her alleged sexual decadence (an entirely false claim). Before being guillotined, her name was humiliatingly demoted – just like Andrew's – to "the Widow Capet". ** [[Mary Kenny]], [https://www.independent.ie/opinion/comment/mary-kenny-has-andrew-brought-the-british-royal-family-to-its-marie-antoinette-moment/a7899354.html "Has Andrew brought the British royal family to its Marie-Antoinette moment?"], ''[[w:Irish Independent|Irish Independent]]'' (8 November 2025). Echoing earlier comments by [[Peter Hitchens]] from an interview on {{w|Times Radio}} (1 November 2025): "I'll be accused...of defending "Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor", as we must now call him, in French-Revolutionary style, as I think Marie Antoinette ended up being called "The Widow Capet" in the same fashion." [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HkGEOkYkgY&t=239s] * Andrew's room service demands soon came to the attention of [[w:Andrew MacGregor Marshall|Andrew MacGregor Marshall]], Reuters' [[Thailand]] correspondent who had friends and connections in the hotel: ::During his short stay, more than forty women were brought to his room. Often, as soon as one left, another would arrive. Hotel staff were amazed - they ware used to foreigners bringing girls to their room, but more than ten a day were going to Andrew's room. And this was all juggled amid official engagements. :[...] Many speak of how Andrew's staff often requested that attractive women be invited to events, with a private secretary specifying, 'He likes blondes', to which one consul replied, 'I'm a diplomat, not a pimp.' ** [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], ''Entitled: The Rise and Fall of the House of York'' (HarperCollins, 2025) * the duke didn't relate well to less senior contacts or staff. 'He didn't seem to understand the responsibilities or accountability that came with his status, or think through the consequences of what he said for those with less privilege,' said the ambassador. Although as a senior royal, Andrew was a high-ranking asset, he was also a liability who had to be managed, self-centred and showed little interest in the problems of others. ** [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], ''Entitled: The Rise and Fall of the House of York'' (HarperCollins, 2025) * In 2001 I was in London when [redacted] met a number of friends of mine including Prince Andrew. A photograph was taken as I imagine she wanted to show it to friends and family. ** [[Ghislaine Maxwell]] in an email to Jeffrey Epstein (2015), as cited in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvgp2xx7gxjo "Email appears to confirm Andrew and Virginia Giuffre photo is real"], ''BBC News'' (4 February 2026). ** From a document released by the [[w:United States Department of Justice|U.S. Department of Justice]] contained in the [[w:Epstein files|Epstein files]]. ==External links== {{wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Mountbatten-Windsor, Andrew}} [[Category:1960 births]] [[Category:Living people]] [[Category:Anglicans from the United Kingdom]] [[Category:People from London]] [[Category:House of Windsor]] hn5rn0du2hyx5w0v6l49ykkmvzx2qhj 3942123 3942121 2026-05-17T18:04:26Z Woofboy 2984402 /* Quotes about Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor */ 3942123 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Prince Andrew, Duke of York (cropped).jpg|thumb|I could have worse tags than ‘Air Miles Andy’, although I don’t know what they are.]] '''[[w:Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor|Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor]]''', (Andrew Albert Christian Edward; born 19 February 1960), formerly known as '''Prince Andrew, Duke of York''', is the third child and second son of Queen [[Elizabeth II]] and [[Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh]]; his elder brother is King [[Charles III]]. A former close associate of [[Jeffrey Epstein]], in February 2026, Mountbatten-Windsor was arrested on suspicion of [[w:Malfeasance in office|misconduct in public office]]. Andrew served in the [[Royal Navy]] as a helicopter pilot, the captain of a warship and saw active service during the [[Falklands War]]. In 1986, he married [[Sarah Ferguson]] and became Duke of York. They have two daughters: [[Princess Beatrice|Beatrice]] and [[Princess Eugenie|Eugenie]]. The couple separated in 1992, and divorced in 1996. As Duke of York, Andrew undertook official duties and engagements on behalf of his mother, Queen Elizabeth II. He served as the UK's Special Representative for International Trade and Investment for 10 years until July 2011. [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Giuffre]] (originally Roberts) claimed that, as a 17-year old, she was sex trafficked to Prince Andrew by the American financier and convicted sex offender [[Jeffrey Epstein]]. The prince denied any wrongdoing. Following criticism for his association with Epstein and his interview with [[w:Emily Maitlis|Emily Maitlis]] in a November 2019 special edition of ''[[w:Newsnight|Newsnight]]'', he resigned from public roles in May 2020, and his honorary military affiliations and royal charitable patronages were returned to his mother in January 2022. He was the defendant in a civil lawsuit over sexual assault filed by Giuffre in the State of New York, which was settled out of court in February 2022. He renounced his titles of Duke of York, GCVO, and KG in October 2025, though legally he still holds them, and lost his right to be described as a prince. His arrest in 2026 followed allegations over his former role as UK trade envoy and his contacts with Jeffrey Epstein. ==Quotes== * It’s a simple answer. That’s my life. That’s what I expect. Right? That is because of who I am and that is because of the life of the family within which I’ve been brought up. So to me this state of affairs is not extraordinary. To anybody else who looks in, they think I’m bloody mad! But that’s what we do. ** From Andrew Edgecliffe-Johnson, [https://www.ft.com/content/72c219cc-bf63-11de-a696-00144feab49a "Dinner with the FT: Prince Andrew"], ''Financial Times'' (23 October 2009) ** Describing his view of the his role as a member of the Royal Family fulfilling hundreds of engagements each year. * Well, if you’ll pardon the expression, that really is the n***** in the woodpile ** When asked if the department of trade could be doing a better job, as recorded by Rohan Silva in '[https://www.standard.co.uk/comment/comment/prince-andrew-rohan-silva-language-a4289571.html Rohan Silva: Prince Andrew’s use of language left me reeling — and I still regret not challenging his choice of words]' (2019), ''Evening Standard'' * Please make sure that every statement or legal letter states clearly that I am NOT involved and that I knew and know NOTHING about any of these allegations. I can't take any more of this my end. ** From an email to [[Jeffrey Epstein]] and [[Ghislaine Maxwell]] (March 2011), as cited in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cglgj08erywo.amp "Epstein email says Andrew had photo taken with Virginia Giuffre"], ''BBC News'' (13 November 2025) ** The 2001 photograph of Mountbatten-Windsor, Maxwell and Virginia Roberts Giuffre at Maxwell's London home was about to be published by ''The Mail on Sunday'' * I could have worse tags than ‘Air Miles Andy’, although I don’t know what they are. ** Attributed in Marina Hyde, [https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/aug/10/prince-andrew-sweating-lawsuit-duke-york-virginia-giuffre "Of course Prince Andrew isn’t sweating over this lawsuit – he can’t"], ''The Guardian'' (11 August 2021) * [On his military service during the [[w:Falklands War|Falklands War]] in 1982] So whilst I think back to a day when a young man went to war, full of bravado, I returned a changed man. * I put away childish things and false bravado and returned a man full in the knowledge of human frailty and suffering. * My reflection makes me think even harder and pray even more fervently for those in conflict today, for those family’s [sic] torn apart by the horrors they have witnessed. **Comments on the Instagram account of his ex-wife, [[Sarah Ferguson]] (March 2022), as cited in [https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/apr/02/i-returned-a-changed-man-prince-andrew-reflects-on-his-falklands-war-service "I returned a changed man’: Prince Andrew deletes Falklands war post"], ''The Guardian'' (2 April 2022) ==="[[w:Prince Andrew & the Epstein Scandal|Prince Andrew & the Epstein Scandal]]" (2019)=== :<small>'''''[[w:Newsnight|Newsnight]]'' interview with Emily Maitlis (broadcast 16 November 2019).'''</small> *[T]he people that I met and the opportunities that I was given to learn either by him or because of him were actually very useful. *I kick myself for, on a daily basis, because it was not something that was becoming of a member of the royal family [...] And we try and uphold the highest standards and practices and I let the side down, simple as that. **[https://time.com/5731244/prince-andrew-interview-epstein/ "Prince Andrew Says He Doesn't Regret His 'Very Useful' Relationship With Jeffrey Epstein"] ''[[w:Time (magazine)|Time]]'' magazine (18 November 2019) cited from ''[[w:Newsnight|Newsnight]]'' interview with Emily Maitlis (broadcast 16 November 2019) * [On his alleged meetings with [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Giuffre]], his accuser] I don't know if I've met her but no, I have no recollection of meeting her. * [[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/feb/15/virginia-giuffre-prince-andrew-picture-settlement-lawsuit On the 2001 photograph of himself] with Giuffre (then Roberts) and [[Ghislaine Maxwell]]] I have absolutely no memory of that photograph ever being taken. * [Asked on how the photograph might have been faked] I don't believe it's a picture of me in London because . . . when I go out in London I wear a suit and tie. [...] Nobody can prove whether or not that photograph has been doctored but I don't recollect that photograph ever being taken. [...] I'm at a loss to explain this particular photograph. ** [https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/prince-andrew-interview-ive-got-to-have-a-thick-skin-and-get-on-with-it-sgcqwqwlr "Prince Andrew interview: 'I've got to have a thick skin and get on with it'"], ''The Sunday Times'' (London, 16 November 2019) ** See ''[[w:Virginia Giuffre v. Prince Andrew|Virginia Giuffre v. Prince Andrew]]'' for her civil litigation against the Prince. [https://www.nytimes.com/2022/02/15/nyregion/prince-andrew-virginia-giuffre-settlement.html The case was resolved out of court] in February 2022 without the Prince admitting liability; he was never criminally charged. [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-60397947 The financial settlement] was not disclosed, but was said to run into millions of pounds. * If you're a man it is a positive act to have sex with somebody [...] You have to … take some sort of positive action and so therefore if you try to forget it’s very difficult to try and forget a positive action and I do not remember anything. * [Explaining that he could not have had sex with [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Giuffre]] (then Roberts) at the [[London]] home of [[Ghislaine Maxwell]]] I was with the children and I’d taken Beatrice to a [[w:PizzaExpress|Pizza Express]] in Woking for a party at I suppose four or five in the afternoon. And then because the duchess [Sarah Ferguson] was away, we have a simple rule in the family that when one is away the other is there. * [Explaining why he stayed at the New York home of [[Jeffrey Epstein|Epstein]], a convicted child sex offender, in 2010.] It was a convenient place to stay... At the end of the day, with the benefit of all the hindsight one can have, it was definitely the wrong thing to do. But at the time, I felt it was the honourable and right thing to do. And I admit fully that my judgment was probably coloured by my tendency to be too honourable but that is just the way it is. ** Cited in Jamie Doward [https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/nov/16/prince-andrew-denies-sex-with-teenager-as-at-home-after-pizza-party "Prince Andrew: I didn’t have sex with teenager, I was home after Pizza Express in Woking"] ''The Guardian'' (17 November 2019). * [Explaining why Virginia Giuffre's allegations against him of sexual assault couldn't be believed.] I didn’t sweat at the time because I had suffered what I would describe as an overdose of adrenaline in the [[Falklands War]], when I was shot at ... it was almost impossible for me to sweat. **Quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/prince-andrew-jeffrey-epstein-sweat-allegations-pizza-expresss-a9208496.html "Prince Andrew claimed he ‘didn’t sweat’ in BBC interview... but what does science say?], ''The Independent'' (26 Nov 2019) ==Quotes about Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor== * I met him [Prince Andrew] several times, including once at a state banquet where after dinner, I and my husband and another Labour cabinet minister had a drink with him, and I have to say the conversation left us slack-jawed with the things that he felt it was appropriate to say. :It was a state dinner for the Saudi royal family and he made racist comments about Arabs that were unbelievable. :The fact he thought we might find this amusing was sort of a terrible situation to be in. I don’t think he’s very bright. I don’t think he really understands the way in which he behaves. He’s the worst end of the royal family, I think. :I am not going to tell you exactly what he said but it involved a comment about camels. It is as worse as you could imagine. ** Former home secretary Jacqui Smith on LBC, as quoted in Chris Baynes, '[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/prince-andrew-racist-arabs-saudi-royal-family-dinner-jacqui-smith-epstein-a9209391.html Prince Andrew made racist comments about Arabs at Buckingham Palace dinner, claims former home secretary]' (2019), ''The Independent'' *(Former royal protection officer Paul Page speaking about the duke’s private apartment) It had about 50 or 60 stuffed toys positioned on the bed. And, basically, there was a card the inspector showed us in a drawer, and it was a picture of these [[w:teddy bear|bears]] all in situ on the bed. And the reason for the laminated picture was that, if those bears weren’t put back in the right order by the maids, he would shout and scream and become verbally abusive. ** Page quoted speaking in the ''ITV'' programme ''Ghislaine, Prince Andrew and the Paedophile'' in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/ghislaine-maxwell-itv-page-prince-two-b1994572.html Andrew’s teddy bear collection was not to be disturbed, claims documentary], ''The Independent'' (17 January 2022) [[File:Jacques-Louis David - Marie Antoinette on the Way to the Guillotine.jpg|thumb|"The Widow [[w:House of Capet|Capet]]" ~ [[Peter Hitchens]] and [[Mary Kenny]]]] * Andrew, unfortunately, exhibited classic symptoms of what is scientifically recognised as the [[w:Dunning–Kruger effect|Dunning-Kruger effect]], the cognitive bias in which people come to believe that they are smarter and more capable than they really are. The combination of minimal self-awareness and dim wattage leads sufferers of this condition to overestimate their own capabilities. Years of enjoying unearned obeisance to his royal position allowed Andrew to bang on with a combination of overweening self-confidence and unchallenged ignorance. It also made him an easy mark for con men and crooks. ** [[Tina Brown]], extract from her book ''The Palace Papers'', as cited in [https://www.telegraph.co.uk/royal-family/2022/04/11/jeffrey-epstein-told-people-prince-andrew-idiot-useful-one/ "'Jeffrey Epstein told people that Prince Andrew was an idiot – but a useful one'"], ''The Telegraph'' (11 April 2022) * I have learned with the deepest concern the news about Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor and suspicion of misconduct in public office.<br />What now follows is the full, fair and proper process by which this issue is investigated in the appropriate manner and by the appropriate authorities. In this, as I have said before, they have our full and wholehearted support and co-operation. Let me state clearly: the law must take its course.<br />As this process continues, it would not be right for me to comment further on this matter. Meanwhile, my family and I will continue in our duty and service to you all. ** [[Charles III|Charles R]] (as signed), statement cited in [https://www.thetimes.com/uk/royal-family/article/andrew-arrested-misconduct-public-office-sandringham-5k6nzwjr2 "Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor arrested for misconduct in public office"], ''The Times'' {19 February 2026). ** The former prince was arrested on what was his 66th birthday. * On 10 March 2001 we were in London, staying at [Ghislaine] Maxwell’s pied-à-terre – a white mews house a short walk from Hyde Park. * In the years since, I've thought a lot about how he behaved. He was friendly enough, but still entitled – as if he believed having sex with me was his birthright. I drew him a hot bath. We disrobed and got in the tub, but didn't stay there long because the prince was eager to get to the bed. He was particularly attentive to my feet, caressing my toes and licking my arches. That was a first for me, and it tickled. I was nervous he would want me to do the same to him. But I needn't have worried. He seemed in a rush to have intercourse. Afterward, he said thank you in his clipped British accent. In my memory, the whole thing lasted less than half an hour.<br />The next morning, Maxwell told me: "You did well. The prince had fun." Epstein would give me $15,000 for servicing the man the tabloids called “Randy Andy”. * My second encounter with Prince Andrew took place about a month later, at Epstein's townhouse in New York. Epstein greeted Andrew and brought him to the living room, where Maxwell and I were sitting. Another one of their victims, Johanna Sjoberg, arrived soon afterward. Maxwell then announced to the prince that she'd purchased him a joke gift, a puppet that looked just like him. She suggested we pose for a photo with it. The prince and I sat down next to each other on the couch, and Maxwell put the puppet in my lap, positioning one of its hands on one of my breasts. Then she put Sjoberg on the prince's lap, and the prince put his hand on Sjoberg's breast. The symbolism was impossible to ignore. Johanna and I were Maxwell and Epstein's puppets, and they were pulling the strings. * I don't know exactly when I had sex with Prince Andrew for the third time, but I do know the location: a 72-acre island Epstein owned in the US Virgin Islands. The private sanctuary, right next to Saint Thomas island, was called Little Saint James, but Epstein liked to call it "Little Saint Jeff's". I also know that it was not just the two of us this time; it was an orgy. "I was around 18," I said in a sworn declaration in 2015. "Epstein, Andy, and approximately eight other young girls and I had sex together. The other girls all appeared to be under the age of 18 and didn't really speak English. Epstein laughed about how they couldn’t really communicate, saying they are the easiest girls to get along with."<br />Since I gave that account, Epstein’s pilot has said in a deposition that a coded notation ("AP") that he made on his flight log for 4 July 2001, referred to Prince Andrew. He said that Epstein, the prince, another woman and I flew from Saint Thomas that day back to Palm Beach. I guess it's possible that the orgy I remember occurred in the days leading up to that flight, which would mean I was still 17. I'll probably never know the date for certain. What I do know, because Epstein told me, is that [[w:Jean-Luc Brunel|Jean-Luc Brunel]], the French modelling agent who was also in attendance, supplied the other girls who took part. ** [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Roberts Giuffre]] ''Nobody’s Girl: A Memoir of Surviving Abuse and Fighting for Justice'' (Doubleday (UK)/Alfred A Knopf (US)/Penguin Random House (Aus), 2025), as cited in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/oct/15/prince-andrew-virginia-giuffre-abuse-epstein-maxwell "'Prince Andrew believed having sex with me was his birthright': Virginia Giuffre on her abuse at the hands of Epstein, Maxwell and the king's brother"], ''The Guardian'' (15 October 2025) * Is this a [[Marie Antoinette|Marie-Antoinette]] moment for the British monarchy? What first triggered animosity against the queen of France was a slew of excited publications stressing her extravagance and indulgence in flagrant luxury, as well as her alleged sexual decadence (an entirely false claim). Before being guillotined, her name was humiliatingly demoted – just like Andrew's – to "the Widow Capet". ** [[Mary Kenny]], [https://www.independent.ie/opinion/comment/mary-kenny-has-andrew-brought-the-british-royal-family-to-its-marie-antoinette-moment/a7899354.html "Has Andrew brought the British royal family to its Marie-Antoinette moment?"], ''[[w:Irish Independent|Irish Independent]]'' (8 November 2025). Echoing earlier comments by [[Peter Hitchens]] from an interview on {{w|Times Radio}} (1 November 2025): "I'll be accused...of defending "Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor", as we must now call him, in French-Revolutionary style, as I think Marie Antoinette ended up being called "The Widow Capet" in the same fashion." [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HkGEOkYkgY&t=239s] * Andrew's room service demands soon came to the attention of [[w:Andrew MacGregor Marshall|Andrew MacGregor Marshall]], Reuters' [[Thailand]] correspondent who had friends and connections in the hotel: ::During his short stay, more than forty women were brought to his room. Often, as soon as one left, another would arrive. Hotel staff were amazed - they ware used to foreigners bringing girls to their room, but more than ten a day were going to Andrew's room. And this was all juggled amid official engagements. :[...] Many speak of how Andrew's staff often requested that attractive women be invited to events, with a private secretary specifying, 'He likes blondes', to which one consul replied, 'I'm a diplomat, not a pimp.' ** [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], ''Entitled: The Rise and Fall of the House of York'' (HarperCollins, 2025) * One bean-counter had complained about Andrew's expenses, querying whether he could put massages on the taxpayer's tab, and it was pushed through. We’ve been paying for happy endings for Andrew for years. * [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], quoted in Zoe Williams, '[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026/feb/24/andrew-mountbatten-windsor-biographer-andrew-lownie-entitled 'We've been paying for happy endings for Andrew for years': the inside story of a royal disgrace, by his biographer]' (24 February 2026), ''The Guardian'' * the duke didn't relate well to less senior contacts or staff. 'He didn't seem to understand the responsibilities or accountability that came with his status, or think through the consequences of what he said for those with less privilege,' said the ambassador. Although as a senior royal, Andrew was a high-ranking asset, he was also a liability who had to be managed, self-centred and showed little interest in the problems of others. ** [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], ''Entitled: The Rise and Fall of the House of York'' (HarperCollins, 2025) * In 2001 I was in London when [redacted] met a number of friends of mine including Prince Andrew. A photograph was taken as I imagine she wanted to show it to friends and family. ** [[Ghislaine Maxwell]] in an email to Jeffrey Epstein (2015), as cited in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvgp2xx7gxjo "Email appears to confirm Andrew and Virginia Giuffre photo is real"], ''BBC News'' (4 February 2026). ** From a document released by the [[w:United States Department of Justice|U.S. Department of Justice]] contained in the [[w:Epstein files|Epstein files]]. ==External links== {{wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Mountbatten-Windsor, Andrew}} [[Category:1960 births]] [[Category:Living people]] [[Category:Anglicans from the United Kingdom]] [[Category:People from London]] [[Category:House of Windsor]] fn4a1qmdlzel5majas5nv4gr35eix24 3942124 3942123 2026-05-17T18:09:47Z Woofboy 2984402 /* External links */ 3942124 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Prince Andrew, Duke of York (cropped).jpg|thumb|I could have worse tags than ‘Air Miles Andy’, although I don’t know what they are.]] '''[[w:Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor|Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor]]''', (Andrew Albert Christian Edward; born 19 February 1960), formerly known as '''Prince Andrew, Duke of York''', is the third child and second son of Queen [[Elizabeth II]] and [[Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh]]; his elder brother is King [[Charles III]]. A former close associate of [[Jeffrey Epstein]], in February 2026, Mountbatten-Windsor was arrested on suspicion of [[w:Malfeasance in office|misconduct in public office]]. Andrew served in the [[Royal Navy]] as a helicopter pilot, the captain of a warship and saw active service during the [[Falklands War]]. In 1986, he married [[Sarah Ferguson]] and became Duke of York. They have two daughters: [[Princess Beatrice|Beatrice]] and [[Princess Eugenie|Eugenie]]. The couple separated in 1992, and divorced in 1996. As Duke of York, Andrew undertook official duties and engagements on behalf of his mother, Queen Elizabeth II. He served as the UK's Special Representative for International Trade and Investment for 10 years until July 2011. [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Giuffre]] (originally Roberts) claimed that, as a 17-year old, she was sex trafficked to Prince Andrew by the American financier and convicted sex offender [[Jeffrey Epstein]]. The prince denied any wrongdoing. Following criticism for his association with Epstein and his interview with [[w:Emily Maitlis|Emily Maitlis]] in a November 2019 special edition of ''[[w:Newsnight|Newsnight]]'', he resigned from public roles in May 2020, and his honorary military affiliations and royal charitable patronages were returned to his mother in January 2022. He was the defendant in a civil lawsuit over sexual assault filed by Giuffre in the State of New York, which was settled out of court in February 2022. He renounced his titles of Duke of York, GCVO, and KG in October 2025, though legally he still holds them, and lost his right to be described as a prince. His arrest in 2026 followed allegations over his former role as UK trade envoy and his contacts with Jeffrey Epstein. ==Quotes== * It’s a simple answer. That’s my life. That’s what I expect. Right? That is because of who I am and that is because of the life of the family within which I’ve been brought up. So to me this state of affairs is not extraordinary. To anybody else who looks in, they think I’m bloody mad! But that’s what we do. ** From Andrew Edgecliffe-Johnson, [https://www.ft.com/content/72c219cc-bf63-11de-a696-00144feab49a "Dinner with the FT: Prince Andrew"], ''Financial Times'' (23 October 2009) ** Describing his view of the his role as a member of the Royal Family fulfilling hundreds of engagements each year. * Well, if you’ll pardon the expression, that really is the n***** in the woodpile ** When asked if the department of trade could be doing a better job, as recorded by Rohan Silva in '[https://www.standard.co.uk/comment/comment/prince-andrew-rohan-silva-language-a4289571.html Rohan Silva: Prince Andrew’s use of language left me reeling — and I still regret not challenging his choice of words]' (2019), ''Evening Standard'' * Please make sure that every statement or legal letter states clearly that I am NOT involved and that I knew and know NOTHING about any of these allegations. I can't take any more of this my end. ** From an email to [[Jeffrey Epstein]] and [[Ghislaine Maxwell]] (March 2011), as cited in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cglgj08erywo.amp "Epstein email says Andrew had photo taken with Virginia Giuffre"], ''BBC News'' (13 November 2025) ** The 2001 photograph of Mountbatten-Windsor, Maxwell and Virginia Roberts Giuffre at Maxwell's London home was about to be published by ''The Mail on Sunday'' * I could have worse tags than ‘Air Miles Andy’, although I don’t know what they are. ** Attributed in Marina Hyde, [https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/aug/10/prince-andrew-sweating-lawsuit-duke-york-virginia-giuffre "Of course Prince Andrew isn’t sweating over this lawsuit – he can’t"], ''The Guardian'' (11 August 2021) * [On his military service during the [[w:Falklands War|Falklands War]] in 1982] So whilst I think back to a day when a young man went to war, full of bravado, I returned a changed man. * I put away childish things and false bravado and returned a man full in the knowledge of human frailty and suffering. * My reflection makes me think even harder and pray even more fervently for those in conflict today, for those family’s [sic] torn apart by the horrors they have witnessed. **Comments on the Instagram account of his ex-wife, [[Sarah Ferguson]] (March 2022), as cited in [https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/apr/02/i-returned-a-changed-man-prince-andrew-reflects-on-his-falklands-war-service "I returned a changed man’: Prince Andrew deletes Falklands war post"], ''The Guardian'' (2 April 2022) ==="[[w:Prince Andrew & the Epstein Scandal|Prince Andrew & the Epstein Scandal]]" (2019)=== :<small>'''''[[w:Newsnight|Newsnight]]'' interview with Emily Maitlis (broadcast 16 November 2019).'''</small> *[T]he people that I met and the opportunities that I was given to learn either by him or because of him were actually very useful. *I kick myself for, on a daily basis, because it was not something that was becoming of a member of the royal family [...] And we try and uphold the highest standards and practices and I let the side down, simple as that. **[https://time.com/5731244/prince-andrew-interview-epstein/ "Prince Andrew Says He Doesn't Regret His 'Very Useful' Relationship With Jeffrey Epstein"] ''[[w:Time (magazine)|Time]]'' magazine (18 November 2019) cited from ''[[w:Newsnight|Newsnight]]'' interview with Emily Maitlis (broadcast 16 November 2019) * [On his alleged meetings with [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Giuffre]], his accuser] I don't know if I've met her but no, I have no recollection of meeting her. * [[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/feb/15/virginia-giuffre-prince-andrew-picture-settlement-lawsuit On the 2001 photograph of himself] with Giuffre (then Roberts) and [[Ghislaine Maxwell]]] I have absolutely no memory of that photograph ever being taken. * [Asked on how the photograph might have been faked] I don't believe it's a picture of me in London because . . . when I go out in London I wear a suit and tie. [...] Nobody can prove whether or not that photograph has been doctored but I don't recollect that photograph ever being taken. [...] I'm at a loss to explain this particular photograph. ** [https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/prince-andrew-interview-ive-got-to-have-a-thick-skin-and-get-on-with-it-sgcqwqwlr "Prince Andrew interview: 'I've got to have a thick skin and get on with it'"], ''The Sunday Times'' (London, 16 November 2019) ** See ''[[w:Virginia Giuffre v. Prince Andrew|Virginia Giuffre v. Prince Andrew]]'' for her civil litigation against the Prince. [https://www.nytimes.com/2022/02/15/nyregion/prince-andrew-virginia-giuffre-settlement.html The case was resolved out of court] in February 2022 without the Prince admitting liability; he was never criminally charged. [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-60397947 The financial settlement] was not disclosed, but was said to run into millions of pounds. * If you're a man it is a positive act to have sex with somebody [...] You have to … take some sort of positive action and so therefore if you try to forget it’s very difficult to try and forget a positive action and I do not remember anything. * [Explaining that he could not have had sex with [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Giuffre]] (then Roberts) at the [[London]] home of [[Ghislaine Maxwell]]] I was with the children and I’d taken Beatrice to a [[w:PizzaExpress|Pizza Express]] in Woking for a party at I suppose four or five in the afternoon. And then because the duchess [Sarah Ferguson] was away, we have a simple rule in the family that when one is away the other is there. * [Explaining why he stayed at the New York home of [[Jeffrey Epstein|Epstein]], a convicted child sex offender, in 2010.] It was a convenient place to stay... At the end of the day, with the benefit of all the hindsight one can have, it was definitely the wrong thing to do. But at the time, I felt it was the honourable and right thing to do. And I admit fully that my judgment was probably coloured by my tendency to be too honourable but that is just the way it is. ** Cited in Jamie Doward [https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/nov/16/prince-andrew-denies-sex-with-teenager-as-at-home-after-pizza-party "Prince Andrew: I didn’t have sex with teenager, I was home after Pizza Express in Woking"] ''The Guardian'' (17 November 2019). * [Explaining why Virginia Giuffre's allegations against him of sexual assault couldn't be believed.] I didn’t sweat at the time because I had suffered what I would describe as an overdose of adrenaline in the [[Falklands War]], when I was shot at ... it was almost impossible for me to sweat. **Quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/prince-andrew-jeffrey-epstein-sweat-allegations-pizza-expresss-a9208496.html "Prince Andrew claimed he ‘didn’t sweat’ in BBC interview... but what does science say?], ''The Independent'' (26 Nov 2019) ==Quotes about Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor== * I met him [Prince Andrew] several times, including once at a state banquet where after dinner, I and my husband and another Labour cabinet minister had a drink with him, and I have to say the conversation left us slack-jawed with the things that he felt it was appropriate to say. :It was a state dinner for the Saudi royal family and he made racist comments about Arabs that were unbelievable. :The fact he thought we might find this amusing was sort of a terrible situation to be in. I don’t think he’s very bright. I don’t think he really understands the way in which he behaves. He’s the worst end of the royal family, I think. :I am not going to tell you exactly what he said but it involved a comment about camels. It is as worse as you could imagine. ** Former home secretary Jacqui Smith on LBC, as quoted in Chris Baynes, '[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/prince-andrew-racist-arabs-saudi-royal-family-dinner-jacqui-smith-epstein-a9209391.html Prince Andrew made racist comments about Arabs at Buckingham Palace dinner, claims former home secretary]' (2019), ''The Independent'' *(Former royal protection officer Paul Page speaking about the duke’s private apartment) It had about 50 or 60 stuffed toys positioned on the bed. And, basically, there was a card the inspector showed us in a drawer, and it was a picture of these [[w:teddy bear|bears]] all in situ on the bed. And the reason for the laminated picture was that, if those bears weren’t put back in the right order by the maids, he would shout and scream and become verbally abusive. ** Page quoted speaking in the ''ITV'' programme ''Ghislaine, Prince Andrew and the Paedophile'' in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/ghislaine-maxwell-itv-page-prince-two-b1994572.html Andrew’s teddy bear collection was not to be disturbed, claims documentary], ''The Independent'' (17 January 2022) [[File:Jacques-Louis David - Marie Antoinette on the Way to the Guillotine.jpg|thumb|"The Widow [[w:House of Capet|Capet]]" ~ [[Peter Hitchens]] and [[Mary Kenny]]]] * Andrew, unfortunately, exhibited classic symptoms of what is scientifically recognised as the [[w:Dunning–Kruger effect|Dunning-Kruger effect]], the cognitive bias in which people come to believe that they are smarter and more capable than they really are. The combination of minimal self-awareness and dim wattage leads sufferers of this condition to overestimate their own capabilities. Years of enjoying unearned obeisance to his royal position allowed Andrew to bang on with a combination of overweening self-confidence and unchallenged ignorance. It also made him an easy mark for con men and crooks. ** [[Tina Brown]], extract from her book ''The Palace Papers'', as cited in [https://www.telegraph.co.uk/royal-family/2022/04/11/jeffrey-epstein-told-people-prince-andrew-idiot-useful-one/ "'Jeffrey Epstein told people that Prince Andrew was an idiot – but a useful one'"], ''The Telegraph'' (11 April 2022) * I have learned with the deepest concern the news about Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor and suspicion of misconduct in public office.<br />What now follows is the full, fair and proper process by which this issue is investigated in the appropriate manner and by the appropriate authorities. In this, as I have said before, they have our full and wholehearted support and co-operation. Let me state clearly: the law must take its course.<br />As this process continues, it would not be right for me to comment further on this matter. Meanwhile, my family and I will continue in our duty and service to you all. ** [[Charles III|Charles R]] (as signed), statement cited in [https://www.thetimes.com/uk/royal-family/article/andrew-arrested-misconduct-public-office-sandringham-5k6nzwjr2 "Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor arrested for misconduct in public office"], ''The Times'' {19 February 2026). ** The former prince was arrested on what was his 66th birthday. * On 10 March 2001 we were in London, staying at [Ghislaine] Maxwell’s pied-à-terre – a white mews house a short walk from Hyde Park. * In the years since, I've thought a lot about how he behaved. He was friendly enough, but still entitled – as if he believed having sex with me was his birthright. I drew him a hot bath. We disrobed and got in the tub, but didn't stay there long because the prince was eager to get to the bed. He was particularly attentive to my feet, caressing my toes and licking my arches. That was a first for me, and it tickled. I was nervous he would want me to do the same to him. But I needn't have worried. He seemed in a rush to have intercourse. Afterward, he said thank you in his clipped British accent. In my memory, the whole thing lasted less than half an hour.<br />The next morning, Maxwell told me: "You did well. The prince had fun." Epstein would give me $15,000 for servicing the man the tabloids called “Randy Andy”. * My second encounter with Prince Andrew took place about a month later, at Epstein's townhouse in New York. Epstein greeted Andrew and brought him to the living room, where Maxwell and I were sitting. Another one of their victims, Johanna Sjoberg, arrived soon afterward. Maxwell then announced to the prince that she'd purchased him a joke gift, a puppet that looked just like him. She suggested we pose for a photo with it. The prince and I sat down next to each other on the couch, and Maxwell put the puppet in my lap, positioning one of its hands on one of my breasts. Then she put Sjoberg on the prince's lap, and the prince put his hand on Sjoberg's breast. The symbolism was impossible to ignore. Johanna and I were Maxwell and Epstein's puppets, and they were pulling the strings. * I don't know exactly when I had sex with Prince Andrew for the third time, but I do know the location: a 72-acre island Epstein owned in the US Virgin Islands. The private sanctuary, right next to Saint Thomas island, was called Little Saint James, but Epstein liked to call it "Little Saint Jeff's". I also know that it was not just the two of us this time; it was an orgy. "I was around 18," I said in a sworn declaration in 2015. "Epstein, Andy, and approximately eight other young girls and I had sex together. The other girls all appeared to be under the age of 18 and didn't really speak English. Epstein laughed about how they couldn’t really communicate, saying they are the easiest girls to get along with."<br />Since I gave that account, Epstein’s pilot has said in a deposition that a coded notation ("AP") that he made on his flight log for 4 July 2001, referred to Prince Andrew. He said that Epstein, the prince, another woman and I flew from Saint Thomas that day back to Palm Beach. I guess it's possible that the orgy I remember occurred in the days leading up to that flight, which would mean I was still 17. I'll probably never know the date for certain. What I do know, because Epstein told me, is that [[w:Jean-Luc Brunel|Jean-Luc Brunel]], the French modelling agent who was also in attendance, supplied the other girls who took part. ** [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Roberts Giuffre]] ''Nobody’s Girl: A Memoir of Surviving Abuse and Fighting for Justice'' (Doubleday (UK)/Alfred A Knopf (US)/Penguin Random House (Aus), 2025), as cited in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/oct/15/prince-andrew-virginia-giuffre-abuse-epstein-maxwell "'Prince Andrew believed having sex with me was his birthright': Virginia Giuffre on her abuse at the hands of Epstein, Maxwell and the king's brother"], ''The Guardian'' (15 October 2025) * Is this a [[Marie Antoinette|Marie-Antoinette]] moment for the British monarchy? What first triggered animosity against the queen of France was a slew of excited publications stressing her extravagance and indulgence in flagrant luxury, as well as her alleged sexual decadence (an entirely false claim). Before being guillotined, her name was humiliatingly demoted – just like Andrew's – to "the Widow Capet". ** [[Mary Kenny]], [https://www.independent.ie/opinion/comment/mary-kenny-has-andrew-brought-the-british-royal-family-to-its-marie-antoinette-moment/a7899354.html "Has Andrew brought the British royal family to its Marie-Antoinette moment?"], ''[[w:Irish Independent|Irish Independent]]'' (8 November 2025). Echoing earlier comments by [[Peter Hitchens]] from an interview on {{w|Times Radio}} (1 November 2025): "I'll be accused...of defending "Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor", as we must now call him, in French-Revolutionary style, as I think Marie Antoinette ended up being called "The Widow Capet" in the same fashion." [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HkGEOkYkgY&t=239s] * Andrew's room service demands soon came to the attention of [[w:Andrew MacGregor Marshall|Andrew MacGregor Marshall]], Reuters' [[Thailand]] correspondent who had friends and connections in the hotel: ::During his short stay, more than forty women were brought to his room. Often, as soon as one left, another would arrive. Hotel staff were amazed - they ware used to foreigners bringing girls to their room, but more than ten a day were going to Andrew's room. And this was all juggled amid official engagements. :[...] Many speak of how Andrew's staff often requested that attractive women be invited to events, with a private secretary specifying, 'He likes blondes', to which one consul replied, 'I'm a diplomat, not a pimp.' ** [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], ''Entitled: The Rise and Fall of the House of York'' (HarperCollins, 2025) * One bean-counter had complained about Andrew's expenses, querying whether he could put massages on the taxpayer's tab, and it was pushed through. We’ve been paying for happy endings for Andrew for years. * [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], quoted in Zoe Williams, '[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026/feb/24/andrew-mountbatten-windsor-biographer-andrew-lownie-entitled 'We've been paying for happy endings for Andrew for years': the inside story of a royal disgrace, by his biographer]' (24 February 2026), ''The Guardian'' * the duke didn't relate well to less senior contacts or staff. 'He didn't seem to understand the responsibilities or accountability that came with his status, or think through the consequences of what he said for those with less privilege,' said the ambassador. Although as a senior royal, Andrew was a high-ranking asset, he was also a liability who had to be managed, self-centred and showed little interest in the problems of others. ** [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], ''Entitled: The Rise and Fall of the House of York'' (HarperCollins, 2025) * In 2001 I was in London when [redacted] met a number of friends of mine including Prince Andrew. A photograph was taken as I imagine she wanted to show it to friends and family. ** [[Ghislaine Maxwell]] in an email to Jeffrey Epstein (2015), as cited in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvgp2xx7gxjo "Email appears to confirm Andrew and Virginia Giuffre photo is real"], ''BBC News'' (4 February 2026). ** From a document released by the [[w:United States Department of Justice|U.S. Department of Justice]] contained in the [[w:Epstein files|Epstein files]]. * Mountbatten-Windsor at school was known for being a bully, a loner, supercilious, entitled, indulged. One story from [[w:Heatherdown School|Heatherdown]] says that he took someone's exotic stamp collection, simply crossed their name out and wrote in his own, and was never punished. ** Zoe Williams, '[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026/feb/24/andrew-mountbatten-windsor-biographer-andrew-lownie-entitled 'We've been paying for happy endings for Andrew for years': the inside story of a royal disgrace, by his biographer] (24 February 2026), ''The Guardian'' ==External links== {{wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Mountbatten-Windsor, Andrew}} [[Category:1960 births]] [[Category:Living people]] [[Category:Anglicans from the United Kingdom]] [[Category:People from London]] [[Category:House of Windsor]] by5qe0c5kqehjnnj791fk8qn4fytm8l 3942125 3942124 2026-05-17T18:17:11Z Woofboy 2984402 /* Quotes about Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor */ 3942125 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Prince Andrew, Duke of York (cropped).jpg|thumb|I could have worse tags than ‘Air Miles Andy’, although I don’t know what they are.]] '''[[w:Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor|Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor]]''', (Andrew Albert Christian Edward; born 19 February 1960), formerly known as '''Prince Andrew, Duke of York''', is the third child and second son of Queen [[Elizabeth II]] and [[Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh]]; his elder brother is King [[Charles III]]. A former close associate of [[Jeffrey Epstein]], in February 2026, Mountbatten-Windsor was arrested on suspicion of [[w:Malfeasance in office|misconduct in public office]]. Andrew served in the [[Royal Navy]] as a helicopter pilot, the captain of a warship and saw active service during the [[Falklands War]]. In 1986, he married [[Sarah Ferguson]] and became Duke of York. They have two daughters: [[Princess Beatrice|Beatrice]] and [[Princess Eugenie|Eugenie]]. The couple separated in 1992, and divorced in 1996. As Duke of York, Andrew undertook official duties and engagements on behalf of his mother, Queen Elizabeth II. He served as the UK's Special Representative for International Trade and Investment for 10 years until July 2011. [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Giuffre]] (originally Roberts) claimed that, as a 17-year old, she was sex trafficked to Prince Andrew by the American financier and convicted sex offender [[Jeffrey Epstein]]. The prince denied any wrongdoing. Following criticism for his association with Epstein and his interview with [[w:Emily Maitlis|Emily Maitlis]] in a November 2019 special edition of ''[[w:Newsnight|Newsnight]]'', he resigned from public roles in May 2020, and his honorary military affiliations and royal charitable patronages were returned to his mother in January 2022. He was the defendant in a civil lawsuit over sexual assault filed by Giuffre in the State of New York, which was settled out of court in February 2022. He renounced his titles of Duke of York, GCVO, and KG in October 2025, though legally he still holds them, and lost his right to be described as a prince. His arrest in 2026 followed allegations over his former role as UK trade envoy and his contacts with Jeffrey Epstein. ==Quotes== * It’s a simple answer. That’s my life. That’s what I expect. Right? That is because of who I am and that is because of the life of the family within which I’ve been brought up. So to me this state of affairs is not extraordinary. To anybody else who looks in, they think I’m bloody mad! But that’s what we do. ** From Andrew Edgecliffe-Johnson, [https://www.ft.com/content/72c219cc-bf63-11de-a696-00144feab49a "Dinner with the FT: Prince Andrew"], ''Financial Times'' (23 October 2009) ** Describing his view of the his role as a member of the Royal Family fulfilling hundreds of engagements each year. * Well, if you’ll pardon the expression, that really is the n***** in the woodpile ** When asked if the department of trade could be doing a better job, as recorded by Rohan Silva in '[https://www.standard.co.uk/comment/comment/prince-andrew-rohan-silva-language-a4289571.html Rohan Silva: Prince Andrew’s use of language left me reeling — and I still regret not challenging his choice of words]' (2019), ''Evening Standard'' * Please make sure that every statement or legal letter states clearly that I am NOT involved and that I knew and know NOTHING about any of these allegations. I can't take any more of this my end. ** From an email to [[Jeffrey Epstein]] and [[Ghislaine Maxwell]] (March 2011), as cited in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cglgj08erywo.amp "Epstein email says Andrew had photo taken with Virginia Giuffre"], ''BBC News'' (13 November 2025) ** The 2001 photograph of Mountbatten-Windsor, Maxwell and Virginia Roberts Giuffre at Maxwell's London home was about to be published by ''The Mail on Sunday'' * I could have worse tags than ‘Air Miles Andy’, although I don’t know what they are. ** Attributed in Marina Hyde, [https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/aug/10/prince-andrew-sweating-lawsuit-duke-york-virginia-giuffre "Of course Prince Andrew isn’t sweating over this lawsuit – he can’t"], ''The Guardian'' (11 August 2021) * [On his military service during the [[w:Falklands War|Falklands War]] in 1982] So whilst I think back to a day when a young man went to war, full of bravado, I returned a changed man. * I put away childish things and false bravado and returned a man full in the knowledge of human frailty and suffering. * My reflection makes me think even harder and pray even more fervently for those in conflict today, for those family’s [sic] torn apart by the horrors they have witnessed. **Comments on the Instagram account of his ex-wife, [[Sarah Ferguson]] (March 2022), as cited in [https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/apr/02/i-returned-a-changed-man-prince-andrew-reflects-on-his-falklands-war-service "I returned a changed man’: Prince Andrew deletes Falklands war post"], ''The Guardian'' (2 April 2022) ==="[[w:Prince Andrew & the Epstein Scandal|Prince Andrew & the Epstein Scandal]]" (2019)=== :<small>'''''[[w:Newsnight|Newsnight]]'' interview with Emily Maitlis (broadcast 16 November 2019).'''</small> *[T]he people that I met and the opportunities that I was given to learn either by him or because of him were actually very useful. *I kick myself for, on a daily basis, because it was not something that was becoming of a member of the royal family [...] And we try and uphold the highest standards and practices and I let the side down, simple as that. **[https://time.com/5731244/prince-andrew-interview-epstein/ "Prince Andrew Says He Doesn't Regret His 'Very Useful' Relationship With Jeffrey Epstein"] ''[[w:Time (magazine)|Time]]'' magazine (18 November 2019) cited from ''[[w:Newsnight|Newsnight]]'' interview with Emily Maitlis (broadcast 16 November 2019) * [On his alleged meetings with [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Giuffre]], his accuser] I don't know if I've met her but no, I have no recollection of meeting her. * [[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/feb/15/virginia-giuffre-prince-andrew-picture-settlement-lawsuit On the 2001 photograph of himself] with Giuffre (then Roberts) and [[Ghislaine Maxwell]]] I have absolutely no memory of that photograph ever being taken. * [Asked on how the photograph might have been faked] I don't believe it's a picture of me in London because . . . when I go out in London I wear a suit and tie. [...] Nobody can prove whether or not that photograph has been doctored but I don't recollect that photograph ever being taken. [...] I'm at a loss to explain this particular photograph. ** [https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/prince-andrew-interview-ive-got-to-have-a-thick-skin-and-get-on-with-it-sgcqwqwlr "Prince Andrew interview: 'I've got to have a thick skin and get on with it'"], ''The Sunday Times'' (London, 16 November 2019) ** See ''[[w:Virginia Giuffre v. Prince Andrew|Virginia Giuffre v. Prince Andrew]]'' for her civil litigation against the Prince. [https://www.nytimes.com/2022/02/15/nyregion/prince-andrew-virginia-giuffre-settlement.html The case was resolved out of court] in February 2022 without the Prince admitting liability; he was never criminally charged. [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-60397947 The financial settlement] was not disclosed, but was said to run into millions of pounds. * If you're a man it is a positive act to have sex with somebody [...] You have to … take some sort of positive action and so therefore if you try to forget it’s very difficult to try and forget a positive action and I do not remember anything. * [Explaining that he could not have had sex with [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Giuffre]] (then Roberts) at the [[London]] home of [[Ghislaine Maxwell]]] I was with the children and I’d taken Beatrice to a [[w:PizzaExpress|Pizza Express]] in Woking for a party at I suppose four or five in the afternoon. And then because the duchess [Sarah Ferguson] was away, we have a simple rule in the family that when one is away the other is there. * [Explaining why he stayed at the New York home of [[Jeffrey Epstein|Epstein]], a convicted child sex offender, in 2010.] It was a convenient place to stay... At the end of the day, with the benefit of all the hindsight one can have, it was definitely the wrong thing to do. But at the time, I felt it was the honourable and right thing to do. And I admit fully that my judgment was probably coloured by my tendency to be too honourable but that is just the way it is. ** Cited in Jamie Doward [https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/nov/16/prince-andrew-denies-sex-with-teenager-as-at-home-after-pizza-party "Prince Andrew: I didn’t have sex with teenager, I was home after Pizza Express in Woking"] ''The Guardian'' (17 November 2019). * [Explaining why Virginia Giuffre's allegations against him of sexual assault couldn't be believed.] I didn’t sweat at the time because I had suffered what I would describe as an overdose of adrenaline in the [[Falklands War]], when I was shot at ... it was almost impossible for me to sweat. **Quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/prince-andrew-jeffrey-epstein-sweat-allegations-pizza-expresss-a9208496.html "Prince Andrew claimed he ‘didn’t sweat’ in BBC interview... but what does science say?], ''The Independent'' (26 Nov 2019) ==Quotes about Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor== * I met him [Prince Andrew] several times, including once at a state banquet where after dinner, I and my husband and another Labour cabinet minister had a drink with him, and I have to say the conversation left us slack-jawed with the things that he felt it was appropriate to say. :It was a state dinner for the Saudi royal family and he made racist comments about Arabs that were unbelievable. :The fact he thought we might find this amusing was sort of a terrible situation to be in. I don’t think he’s very bright. I don’t think he really understands the way in which he behaves. He’s the worst end of the royal family, I think. :I am not going to tell you exactly what he said but it involved a comment about camels. It is as worse as you could imagine. ** Former home secretary Jacqui Smith on LBC, as quoted in Chris Baynes, '[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/prince-andrew-racist-arabs-saudi-royal-family-dinner-jacqui-smith-epstein-a9209391.html Prince Andrew made racist comments about Arabs at Buckingham Palace dinner, claims former home secretary]' (2019), ''The Independent'' *(Former royal protection officer Paul Page speaking about the duke’s private apartment) It had about 50 or 60 stuffed toys positioned on the bed. And, basically, there was a card the inspector showed us in a drawer, and it was a picture of these [[w:teddy bear|bears]] all in situ on the bed. And the reason for the laminated picture was that, if those bears weren’t put back in the right order by the maids, he would shout and scream and become verbally abusive. ** Page quoted speaking in the ''ITV'' programme ''Ghislaine, Prince Andrew and the Paedophile'' in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/ghislaine-maxwell-itv-page-prince-two-b1994572.html Andrew’s teddy bear collection was not to be disturbed, claims documentary], ''The Independent'' (17 January 2022) [[File:Jacques-Louis David - Marie Antoinette on the Way to the Guillotine.jpg|thumb|"The Widow [[w:House of Capet|Capet]]" ~ [[Peter Hitchens]] and [[Mary Kenny]]]] * Andrew, unfortunately, exhibited classic symptoms of what is scientifically recognised as the [[w:Dunning–Kruger effect|Dunning-Kruger effect]], the cognitive bias in which people come to believe that they are smarter and more capable than they really are. The combination of minimal self-awareness and dim wattage leads sufferers of this condition to overestimate their own capabilities. Years of enjoying unearned obeisance to his royal position allowed Andrew to bang on with a combination of overweening self-confidence and unchallenged ignorance. It also made him an easy mark for con men and crooks. ** [[Tina Brown]], extract from her book ''The Palace Papers'', as cited in [https://www.telegraph.co.uk/royal-family/2022/04/11/jeffrey-epstein-told-people-prince-andrew-idiot-useful-one/ "'Jeffrey Epstein told people that Prince Andrew was an idiot – but a useful one'"], ''The Telegraph'' (11 April 2022) * I have learned with the deepest concern the news about Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor and suspicion of misconduct in public office.<br />What now follows is the full, fair and proper process by which this issue is investigated in the appropriate manner and by the appropriate authorities. In this, as I have said before, they have our full and wholehearted support and co-operation. Let me state clearly: the law must take its course.<br />As this process continues, it would not be right for me to comment further on this matter. Meanwhile, my family and I will continue in our duty and service to you all. ** [[Charles III|Charles R]] (as signed), statement cited in [https://www.thetimes.com/uk/royal-family/article/andrew-arrested-misconduct-public-office-sandringham-5k6nzwjr2 "Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor arrested for misconduct in public office"], ''The Times'' {19 February 2026). ** The former prince was arrested on what was his 66th birthday. * On 10 March 2001 we were in London, staying at [Ghislaine] Maxwell’s pied-à-terre – a white mews house a short walk from Hyde Park. * In the years since, I've thought a lot about how he behaved. He was friendly enough, but still entitled – as if he believed having sex with me was his birthright. I drew him a hot bath. We disrobed and got in the tub, but didn't stay there long because the prince was eager to get to the bed. He was particularly attentive to my feet, caressing my toes and licking my arches. That was a first for me, and it tickled. I was nervous he would want me to do the same to him. But I needn't have worried. He seemed in a rush to have intercourse. Afterward, he said thank you in his clipped British accent. In my memory, the whole thing lasted less than half an hour.<br />The next morning, Maxwell told me: "You did well. The prince had fun." Epstein would give me $15,000 for servicing the man the tabloids called “Randy Andy”. * My second encounter with Prince Andrew took place about a month later, at Epstein's townhouse in New York. Epstein greeted Andrew and brought him to the living room, where Maxwell and I were sitting. Another one of their victims, Johanna Sjoberg, arrived soon afterward. Maxwell then announced to the prince that she'd purchased him a joke gift, a puppet that looked just like him. She suggested we pose for a photo with it. The prince and I sat down next to each other on the couch, and Maxwell put the puppet in my lap, positioning one of its hands on one of my breasts. Then she put Sjoberg on the prince's lap, and the prince put his hand on Sjoberg's breast. The symbolism was impossible to ignore. Johanna and I were Maxwell and Epstein's puppets, and they were pulling the strings. * I don't know exactly when I had sex with Prince Andrew for the third time, but I do know the location: a 72-acre island Epstein owned in the US Virgin Islands. The private sanctuary, right next to Saint Thomas island, was called Little Saint James, but Epstein liked to call it "Little Saint Jeff's". I also know that it was not just the two of us this time; it was an orgy. "I was around 18," I said in a sworn declaration in 2015. "Epstein, Andy, and approximately eight other young girls and I had sex together. The other girls all appeared to be under the age of 18 and didn't really speak English. Epstein laughed about how they couldn’t really communicate, saying they are the easiest girls to get along with."<br />Since I gave that account, Epstein’s pilot has said in a deposition that a coded notation ("AP") that he made on his flight log for 4 July 2001, referred to Prince Andrew. He said that Epstein, the prince, another woman and I flew from Saint Thomas that day back to Palm Beach. I guess it's possible that the orgy I remember occurred in the days leading up to that flight, which would mean I was still 17. I'll probably never know the date for certain. What I do know, because Epstein told me, is that [[w:Jean-Luc Brunel|Jean-Luc Brunel]], the French modelling agent who was also in attendance, supplied the other girls who took part. ** [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Roberts Giuffre]] ''Nobody’s Girl: A Memoir of Surviving Abuse and Fighting for Justice'' (Doubleday (UK)/Alfred A Knopf (US)/Penguin Random House (Aus), 2025), as cited in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/oct/15/prince-andrew-virginia-giuffre-abuse-epstein-maxwell "'Prince Andrew believed having sex with me was his birthright': Virginia Giuffre on her abuse at the hands of Epstein, Maxwell and the king's brother"], ''The Guardian'' (15 October 2025) * Is this a [[Marie Antoinette|Marie-Antoinette]] moment for the British monarchy? What first triggered animosity against the queen of France was a slew of excited publications stressing her extravagance and indulgence in flagrant luxury, as well as her alleged sexual decadence (an entirely false claim). Before being guillotined, her name was humiliatingly demoted – just like Andrew's – to "the Widow Capet". ** [[Mary Kenny]], [https://www.independent.ie/opinion/comment/mary-kenny-has-andrew-brought-the-british-royal-family-to-its-marie-antoinette-moment/a7899354.html "Has Andrew brought the British royal family to its Marie-Antoinette moment?"], ''[[w:Irish Independent|Irish Independent]]'' (8 November 2025). Echoing earlier comments by [[Peter Hitchens]] from an interview on {{w|Times Radio}} (1 November 2025): "I'll be accused...of defending "Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor", as we must now call him, in French-Revolutionary style, as I think Marie Antoinette ended up being called "The Widow Capet" in the same fashion." [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HkGEOkYkgY&t=239s] * Andrew's room service demands soon came to the attention of [[w:Andrew MacGregor Marshall|Andrew MacGregor Marshall]], Reuters' [[Thailand]] correspondent who had friends and connections in the hotel: ::During his short stay, more than forty women were brought to his room. Often, as soon as one left, another would arrive. Hotel staff were amazed - they ware used to foreigners bringing girls to their room, but more than ten a day were going to Andrew's room. And this was all juggled amid official engagements. :[...] Many speak of how Andrew's staff often requested that attractive women be invited to events, with a private secretary specifying, 'He likes blondes', to which one consul replied, 'I'm a diplomat, not a pimp.' ** [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], ''Entitled: The Rise and Fall of the House of York'' (HarperCollins, 2025) * One bean-counter had complained about Andrew's expenses, querying whether he could put massages on the taxpayer's tab, and it was pushed through. We’ve been paying for happy endings for Andrew for years. ** [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], quoted in Zoe Williams, '[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026/feb/24/andrew-mountbatten-windsor-biographer-andrew-lownie-entitled 'We've been paying for happy endings for Andrew for years': the inside story of a royal disgrace, by his biographer]' (24 February 2026), ''The Guardian'' * the duke didn't relate well to less senior contacts or staff. 'He didn't seem to understand the responsibilities or accountability that came with his status, or think through the consequences of what he said for those with less privilege,' said the ambassador. Although as a senior royal, Andrew was a high-ranking asset, he was also a liability who had to be managed, self-centred and showed little interest in the problems of others. ** [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], ''Entitled: The Rise and Fall of the House of York'' (HarperCollins, 2025) * I know that Epstein was a Soviet asset. There's a huge national security scandal here of penetration. [...] Keep it to the sexual side – everyone understands that bit – and certainly not go anywhere near the national security scandal. The plan [of the palace], I think, at the moment, is to throw Andrew to the wolves. ** [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], quoted in Zoe Williams, '[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026/feb/24/andrew-mountbatten-windsor-biographer-andrew-lownie-entitled 'We've been paying for happy endings for Andrew for years': the inside story of a royal disgrace, by his biographer]' (24 February 2026), ''The Guardian'' * In 2001 I was in London when [redacted] met a number of friends of mine including Prince Andrew. A photograph was taken as I imagine she wanted to show it to friends and family. ** [[Ghislaine Maxwell]] in an email to Jeffrey Epstein (2015), as cited in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvgp2xx7gxjo "Email appears to confirm Andrew and Virginia Giuffre photo is real"], ''BBC News'' (4 February 2026). ** From a document released by the [[w:United States Department of Justice|U.S. Department of Justice]] contained in the [[w:Epstein files|Epstein files]]. * Mountbatten-Windsor at school was known for being a bully, a loner, supercilious, entitled, indulged. One story from [[w:Heatherdown School|Heatherdown]] says that he took someone's exotic stamp collection, simply crossed their name out and wrote in his own, and was never punished. ** Zoe Williams, '[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026/feb/24/andrew-mountbatten-windsor-biographer-andrew-lownie-entitled 'We've been paying for happy endings for Andrew for years': the inside story of a royal disgrace, by his biographer] (24 February 2026), ''The Guardian'' ==External links== {{wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Mountbatten-Windsor, Andrew}} [[Category:1960 births]] [[Category:Living people]] [[Category:Anglicans from the United Kingdom]] [[Category:People from London]] [[Category:House of Windsor]] ff2hx98vvrbe1d5krzq9n7hdoo5nb0u 3942130 3942125 2026-05-17T18:22:40Z Woofboy 2984402 /* Quotes about Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor */ 3942130 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Prince Andrew, Duke of York (cropped).jpg|thumb|I could have worse tags than ‘Air Miles Andy’, although I don’t know what they are.]] '''[[w:Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor|Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor]]''', (Andrew Albert Christian Edward; born 19 February 1960), formerly known as '''Prince Andrew, Duke of York''', is the third child and second son of Queen [[Elizabeth II]] and [[Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh]]; his elder brother is King [[Charles III]]. A former close associate of [[Jeffrey Epstein]], in February 2026, Mountbatten-Windsor was arrested on suspicion of [[w:Malfeasance in office|misconduct in public office]]. Andrew served in the [[Royal Navy]] as a helicopter pilot, the captain of a warship and saw active service during the [[Falklands War]]. In 1986, he married [[Sarah Ferguson]] and became Duke of York. They have two daughters: [[Princess Beatrice|Beatrice]] and [[Princess Eugenie|Eugenie]]. The couple separated in 1992, and divorced in 1996. As Duke of York, Andrew undertook official duties and engagements on behalf of his mother, Queen Elizabeth II. He served as the UK's Special Representative for International Trade and Investment for 10 years until July 2011. [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Giuffre]] (originally Roberts) claimed that, as a 17-year old, she was sex trafficked to Prince Andrew by the American financier and convicted sex offender [[Jeffrey Epstein]]. The prince denied any wrongdoing. Following criticism for his association with Epstein and his interview with [[w:Emily Maitlis|Emily Maitlis]] in a November 2019 special edition of ''[[w:Newsnight|Newsnight]]'', he resigned from public roles in May 2020, and his honorary military affiliations and royal charitable patronages were returned to his mother in January 2022. He was the defendant in a civil lawsuit over sexual assault filed by Giuffre in the State of New York, which was settled out of court in February 2022. He renounced his titles of Duke of York, GCVO, and KG in October 2025, though legally he still holds them, and lost his right to be described as a prince. His arrest in 2026 followed allegations over his former role as UK trade envoy and his contacts with Jeffrey Epstein. ==Quotes== * It’s a simple answer. That’s my life. That’s what I expect. Right? That is because of who I am and that is because of the life of the family within which I’ve been brought up. So to me this state of affairs is not extraordinary. To anybody else who looks in, they think I’m bloody mad! But that’s what we do. ** From Andrew Edgecliffe-Johnson, [https://www.ft.com/content/72c219cc-bf63-11de-a696-00144feab49a "Dinner with the FT: Prince Andrew"], ''Financial Times'' (23 October 2009) ** Describing his view of the his role as a member of the Royal Family fulfilling hundreds of engagements each year. * Well, if you’ll pardon the expression, that really is the n***** in the woodpile ** When asked if the department of trade could be doing a better job, as recorded by Rohan Silva in '[https://www.standard.co.uk/comment/comment/prince-andrew-rohan-silva-language-a4289571.html Rohan Silva: Prince Andrew’s use of language left me reeling — and I still regret not challenging his choice of words]' (2019), ''Evening Standard'' * Please make sure that every statement or legal letter states clearly that I am NOT involved and that I knew and know NOTHING about any of these allegations. I can't take any more of this my end. ** From an email to [[Jeffrey Epstein]] and [[Ghislaine Maxwell]] (March 2011), as cited in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cglgj08erywo.amp "Epstein email says Andrew had photo taken with Virginia Giuffre"], ''BBC News'' (13 November 2025) ** The 2001 photograph of Mountbatten-Windsor, Maxwell and Virginia Roberts Giuffre at Maxwell's London home was about to be published by ''The Mail on Sunday'' * I could have worse tags than ‘Air Miles Andy’, although I don’t know what they are. ** Attributed in Marina Hyde, [https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/aug/10/prince-andrew-sweating-lawsuit-duke-york-virginia-giuffre "Of course Prince Andrew isn’t sweating over this lawsuit – he can’t"], ''The Guardian'' (11 August 2021) * [On his military service during the [[w:Falklands War|Falklands War]] in 1982] So whilst I think back to a day when a young man went to war, full of bravado, I returned a changed man. * I put away childish things and false bravado and returned a man full in the knowledge of human frailty and suffering. * My reflection makes me think even harder and pray even more fervently for those in conflict today, for those family’s [sic] torn apart by the horrors they have witnessed. **Comments on the Instagram account of his ex-wife, [[Sarah Ferguson]] (March 2022), as cited in [https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/apr/02/i-returned-a-changed-man-prince-andrew-reflects-on-his-falklands-war-service "I returned a changed man’: Prince Andrew deletes Falklands war post"], ''The Guardian'' (2 April 2022) ==="[[w:Prince Andrew & the Epstein Scandal|Prince Andrew & the Epstein Scandal]]" (2019)=== :<small>'''''[[w:Newsnight|Newsnight]]'' interview with Emily Maitlis (broadcast 16 November 2019).'''</small> *[T]he people that I met and the opportunities that I was given to learn either by him or because of him were actually very useful. *I kick myself for, on a daily basis, because it was not something that was becoming of a member of the royal family [...] And we try and uphold the highest standards and practices and I let the side down, simple as that. **[https://time.com/5731244/prince-andrew-interview-epstein/ "Prince Andrew Says He Doesn't Regret His 'Very Useful' Relationship With Jeffrey Epstein"] ''[[w:Time (magazine)|Time]]'' magazine (18 November 2019) cited from ''[[w:Newsnight|Newsnight]]'' interview with Emily Maitlis (broadcast 16 November 2019) * [On his alleged meetings with [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Giuffre]], his accuser] I don't know if I've met her but no, I have no recollection of meeting her. * [[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/feb/15/virginia-giuffre-prince-andrew-picture-settlement-lawsuit On the 2001 photograph of himself] with Giuffre (then Roberts) and [[Ghislaine Maxwell]]] I have absolutely no memory of that photograph ever being taken. * [Asked on how the photograph might have been faked] I don't believe it's a picture of me in London because . . . when I go out in London I wear a suit and tie. [...] Nobody can prove whether or not that photograph has been doctored but I don't recollect that photograph ever being taken. [...] I'm at a loss to explain this particular photograph. ** [https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/prince-andrew-interview-ive-got-to-have-a-thick-skin-and-get-on-with-it-sgcqwqwlr "Prince Andrew interview: 'I've got to have a thick skin and get on with it'"], ''The Sunday Times'' (London, 16 November 2019) ** See ''[[w:Virginia Giuffre v. Prince Andrew|Virginia Giuffre v. Prince Andrew]]'' for her civil litigation against the Prince. [https://www.nytimes.com/2022/02/15/nyregion/prince-andrew-virginia-giuffre-settlement.html The case was resolved out of court] in February 2022 without the Prince admitting liability; he was never criminally charged. [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-60397947 The financial settlement] was not disclosed, but was said to run into millions of pounds. * If you're a man it is a positive act to have sex with somebody [...] You have to … take some sort of positive action and so therefore if you try to forget it’s very difficult to try and forget a positive action and I do not remember anything. * [Explaining that he could not have had sex with [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Giuffre]] (then Roberts) at the [[London]] home of [[Ghislaine Maxwell]]] I was with the children and I’d taken Beatrice to a [[w:PizzaExpress|Pizza Express]] in Woking for a party at I suppose four or five in the afternoon. And then because the duchess [Sarah Ferguson] was away, we have a simple rule in the family that when one is away the other is there. * [Explaining why he stayed at the New York home of [[Jeffrey Epstein|Epstein]], a convicted child sex offender, in 2010.] It was a convenient place to stay... At the end of the day, with the benefit of all the hindsight one can have, it was definitely the wrong thing to do. But at the time, I felt it was the honourable and right thing to do. And I admit fully that my judgment was probably coloured by my tendency to be too honourable but that is just the way it is. ** Cited in Jamie Doward [https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/nov/16/prince-andrew-denies-sex-with-teenager-as-at-home-after-pizza-party "Prince Andrew: I didn’t have sex with teenager, I was home after Pizza Express in Woking"] ''The Guardian'' (17 November 2019). * [Explaining why Virginia Giuffre's allegations against him of sexual assault couldn't be believed.] I didn’t sweat at the time because I had suffered what I would describe as an overdose of adrenaline in the [[Falklands War]], when I was shot at ... it was almost impossible for me to sweat. **Quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/prince-andrew-jeffrey-epstein-sweat-allegations-pizza-expresss-a9208496.html "Prince Andrew claimed he ‘didn’t sweat’ in BBC interview... but what does science say?], ''The Independent'' (26 Nov 2019) ==Quotes about Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor== * I met him [Prince Andrew] several times, including once at a state banquet where after dinner, I and my husband and another Labour cabinet minister had a drink with him, and I have to say the conversation left us slack-jawed with the things that he felt it was appropriate to say. :It was a state dinner for the Saudi royal family and he made racist comments about Arabs that were unbelievable. :The fact he thought we might find this amusing was sort of a terrible situation to be in. I don’t think he’s very bright. I don’t think he really understands the way in which he behaves. He’s the worst end of the royal family, I think. :I am not going to tell you exactly what he said but it involved a comment about camels. It is as worse as you could imagine. ** Former home secretary Jacqui Smith on LBC, as quoted in Chris Baynes, '[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/prince-andrew-racist-arabs-saudi-royal-family-dinner-jacqui-smith-epstein-a9209391.html Prince Andrew made racist comments about Arabs at Buckingham Palace dinner, claims former home secretary]' (2019), ''The Independent'' *(Former royal protection officer Paul Page speaking about the duke’s private apartment) It had about 50 or 60 stuffed toys positioned on the bed. And, basically, there was a card the inspector showed us in a drawer, and it was a picture of these [[w:teddy bear|bears]] all in situ on the bed. And the reason for the laminated picture was that, if those bears weren’t put back in the right order by the maids, he would shout and scream and become verbally abusive. ** Page quoted speaking in the ''ITV'' programme ''Ghislaine, Prince Andrew and the Paedophile'' in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/ghislaine-maxwell-itv-page-prince-two-b1994572.html Andrew’s teddy bear collection was not to be disturbed, claims documentary], ''The Independent'' (17 January 2022) [[File:Jacques-Louis David - Marie Antoinette on the Way to the Guillotine.jpg|thumb|"The Widow [[w:House of Capet|Capet]]" ~ [[Peter Hitchens]] and [[Mary Kenny]]]] * Andrew, unfortunately, exhibited classic symptoms of what is scientifically recognised as the [[w:Dunning–Kruger effect|Dunning-Kruger effect]], the cognitive bias in which people come to believe that they are smarter and more capable than they really are. The combination of minimal self-awareness and dim wattage leads sufferers of this condition to overestimate their own capabilities. Years of enjoying unearned obeisance to his royal position allowed Andrew to bang on with a combination of overweening self-confidence and unchallenged ignorance. It also made him an easy mark for con men and crooks. ** [[Tina Brown]], extract from her book ''The Palace Papers'', as cited in [https://www.telegraph.co.uk/royal-family/2022/04/11/jeffrey-epstein-told-people-prince-andrew-idiot-useful-one/ "'Jeffrey Epstein told people that Prince Andrew was an idiot – but a useful one'"], ''The Telegraph'' (11 April 2022) * I have learned with the deepest concern the news about Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor and suspicion of misconduct in public office.<br />What now follows is the full, fair and proper process by which this issue is investigated in the appropriate manner and by the appropriate authorities. In this, as I have said before, they have our full and wholehearted support and co-operation. Let me state clearly: the law must take its course.<br />As this process continues, it would not be right for me to comment further on this matter. Meanwhile, my family and I will continue in our duty and service to you all. ** [[Charles III|Charles R]] (as signed), statement cited in [https://www.thetimes.com/uk/royal-family/article/andrew-arrested-misconduct-public-office-sandringham-5k6nzwjr2 "Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor arrested for misconduct in public office"], ''The Times'' {19 February 2026). ** The former prince was arrested on what was his 66th birthday. * On 10 March 2001 we were in London, staying at [Ghislaine] Maxwell’s pied-à-terre – a white mews house a short walk from Hyde Park. * In the years since, I've thought a lot about how he behaved. He was friendly enough, but still entitled – as if he believed having sex with me was his birthright. I drew him a hot bath. We disrobed and got in the tub, but didn't stay there long because the prince was eager to get to the bed. He was particularly attentive to my feet, caressing my toes and licking my arches. That was a first for me, and it tickled. I was nervous he would want me to do the same to him. But I needn't have worried. He seemed in a rush to have intercourse. Afterward, he said thank you in his clipped British accent. In my memory, the whole thing lasted less than half an hour.<br />The next morning, Maxwell told me: "You did well. The prince had fun." Epstein would give me $15,000 for servicing the man the tabloids called “Randy Andy”. * My second encounter with Prince Andrew took place about a month later, at Epstein's townhouse in New York. Epstein greeted Andrew and brought him to the living room, where Maxwell and I were sitting. Another one of their victims, Johanna Sjoberg, arrived soon afterward. Maxwell then announced to the prince that she'd purchased him a joke gift, a puppet that looked just like him. She suggested we pose for a photo with it. The prince and I sat down next to each other on the couch, and Maxwell put the puppet in my lap, positioning one of its hands on one of my breasts. Then she put Sjoberg on the prince's lap, and the prince put his hand on Sjoberg's breast. The symbolism was impossible to ignore. Johanna and I were Maxwell and Epstein's puppets, and they were pulling the strings. * I don't know exactly when I had sex with Prince Andrew for the third time, but I do know the location: a 72-acre island Epstein owned in the US Virgin Islands. The private sanctuary, right next to Saint Thomas island, was called Little Saint James, but Epstein liked to call it "Little Saint Jeff's". I also know that it was not just the two of us this time; it was an orgy. "I was around 18," I said in a sworn declaration in 2015. "Epstein, Andy, and approximately eight other young girls and I had sex together. The other girls all appeared to be under the age of 18 and didn't really speak English. Epstein laughed about how they couldn’t really communicate, saying they are the easiest girls to get along with."<br />Since I gave that account, Epstein’s pilot has said in a deposition that a coded notation ("AP") that he made on his flight log for 4 July 2001, referred to Prince Andrew. He said that Epstein, the prince, another woman and I flew from Saint Thomas that day back to Palm Beach. I guess it's possible that the orgy I remember occurred in the days leading up to that flight, which would mean I was still 17. I'll probably never know the date for certain. What I do know, because Epstein told me, is that [[w:Jean-Luc Brunel|Jean-Luc Brunel]], the French modelling agent who was also in attendance, supplied the other girls who took part. ** [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Roberts Giuffre]] ''Nobody’s Girl: A Memoir of Surviving Abuse and Fighting for Justice'' (Doubleday (UK)/Alfred A Knopf (US)/Penguin Random House (Aus), 2025), as cited in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/oct/15/prince-andrew-virginia-giuffre-abuse-epstein-maxwell "'Prince Andrew believed having sex with me was his birthright': Virginia Giuffre on her abuse at the hands of Epstein, Maxwell and the king's brother"], ''The Guardian'' (15 October 2025) * Is this a [[Marie Antoinette|Marie-Antoinette]] moment for the British monarchy? What first triggered animosity against the queen of France was a slew of excited publications stressing her extravagance and indulgence in flagrant luxury, as well as her alleged sexual decadence (an entirely false claim). Before being guillotined, her name was humiliatingly demoted – just like Andrew's – to "the Widow Capet". ** [[Mary Kenny]], [https://www.independent.ie/opinion/comment/mary-kenny-has-andrew-brought-the-british-royal-family-to-its-marie-antoinette-moment/a7899354.html "Has Andrew brought the British royal family to its Marie-Antoinette moment?"], ''[[w:Irish Independent|Irish Independent]]'' (8 November 2025). Echoing earlier comments by [[Peter Hitchens]] from an interview on {{w|Times Radio}} (1 November 2025): "I'll be accused...of defending "Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor", as we must now call him, in French-Revolutionary style, as I think Marie Antoinette ended up being called "The Widow Capet" in the same fashion." [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HkGEOkYkgY&t=239s] * Andrew's room service demands soon came to the attention of [[w:Andrew MacGregor Marshall|Andrew MacGregor Marshall]], Reuters' [[Thailand]] correspondent who had friends and connections in the hotel: ::During his short stay, more than forty women were brought to his room. Often, as soon as one left, another would arrive. Hotel staff were amazed - they ware used to foreigners bringing girls to their room, but more than ten a day were going to Andrew's room. And this was all juggled amid official engagements. :[...] Many speak of how Andrew's staff often requested that attractive women be invited to events, with a private secretary specifying, 'He likes blondes', to which one consul replied, 'I'm a diplomat, not a pimp.' ** [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], ''Entitled: The Rise and Fall of the House of York'' (HarperCollins, 2025) * One bean-counter had complained about Andrew's expenses, querying whether he could put massages on the taxpayer's tab, and it was pushed through. We’ve been paying for happy endings for Andrew for years. ** [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], quoted in Zoe Williams, '[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026/feb/24/andrew-mountbatten-windsor-biographer-andrew-lownie-entitled 'We've been paying for happy endings for Andrew for years': the inside story of a royal disgrace, by his biographer]' (24 February 2026), ''The Guardian'' * the duke didn't relate well to less senior contacts or staff. 'He didn't seem to understand the responsibilities or accountability that came with his status, or think through the consequences of what he said for those with less privilege,' said the ambassador. Although as a senior royal, Andrew was a high-ranking asset, he was also a liability who had to be managed, self-centred and showed little interest in the problems of others. ** [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], ''Entitled: The Rise and Fall of the House of York'' (HarperCollins, 2025) * I know that Epstein was a Soviet asset. There's a huge national security scandal here of penetration. [...] Keep it to the sexual side – everyone understands that bit – and certainly not go anywhere near the national security scandal. The plan [of the palace], I think, at the moment, is to throw Andrew to the wolves. ** [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], quoted in Zoe Williams, '[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026/feb/24/andrew-mountbatten-windsor-biographer-andrew-lownie-entitled 'We've been paying for happy endings for Andrew for years': the inside story of a royal disgrace, by his biographer]' (24 February 2026), ''The Guardian'' * In 2001 I was in London when [redacted] met a number of friends of mine including Prince Andrew. A photograph was taken as I imagine she wanted to show it to friends and family. ** [[Ghislaine Maxwell]] in an email to Jeffrey Epstein (2015), as cited in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvgp2xx7gxjo "Email appears to confirm Andrew and Virginia Giuffre photo is real"], ''BBC News'' (4 February 2026). ** From a document released by the [[w:United States Department of Justice|U.S. Department of Justice]] contained in the [[w:Epstein files|Epstein files]]. * Putin could finish Andrew (and the Royal Family) anytime he likes with photos, tales and evidence he no doubt has on Andrew in Russia. ** Tim Reilly, vice-president of [[Kroll Inc.|Kroll Inc.]], quoted in [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], ''Entitled: The Rise and Fall of the House of York'' (HarperCollins, 2025) * Mountbatten-Windsor at school was known for being a bully, a loner, supercilious, entitled, indulged. One story from [[w:Heatherdown School|Heatherdown]] says that he took someone's exotic stamp collection, simply crossed their name out and wrote in his own, and was never punished. ** Zoe Williams, '[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026/feb/24/andrew-mountbatten-windsor-biographer-andrew-lownie-entitled 'We've been paying for happy endings for Andrew for years': the inside story of a royal disgrace, by his biographer] (24 February 2026), ''The Guardian'' ==External links== {{wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Mountbatten-Windsor, Andrew}} [[Category:1960 births]] [[Category:Living people]] [[Category:Anglicans from the United Kingdom]] [[Category:People from London]] [[Category:House of Windsor]] hcr3lp79u3yc75f3u7hn99pzo7boyxk 3942133 3942130 2026-05-17T18:38:40Z Woofboy 2984402 /* Quotes about Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor */ 3942133 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Prince Andrew, Duke of York (cropped).jpg|thumb|I could have worse tags than ‘Air Miles Andy’, although I don’t know what they are.]] '''[[w:Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor|Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor]]''', (Andrew Albert Christian Edward; born 19 February 1960), formerly known as '''Prince Andrew, Duke of York''', is the third child and second son of Queen [[Elizabeth II]] and [[Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh]]; his elder brother is King [[Charles III]]. A former close associate of [[Jeffrey Epstein]], in February 2026, Mountbatten-Windsor was arrested on suspicion of [[w:Malfeasance in office|misconduct in public office]]. Andrew served in the [[Royal Navy]] as a helicopter pilot, the captain of a warship and saw active service during the [[Falklands War]]. In 1986, he married [[Sarah Ferguson]] and became Duke of York. They have two daughters: [[Princess Beatrice|Beatrice]] and [[Princess Eugenie|Eugenie]]. The couple separated in 1992, and divorced in 1996. As Duke of York, Andrew undertook official duties and engagements on behalf of his mother, Queen Elizabeth II. He served as the UK's Special Representative for International Trade and Investment for 10 years until July 2011. [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Giuffre]] (originally Roberts) claimed that, as a 17-year old, she was sex trafficked to Prince Andrew by the American financier and convicted sex offender [[Jeffrey Epstein]]. The prince denied any wrongdoing. Following criticism for his association with Epstein and his interview with [[w:Emily Maitlis|Emily Maitlis]] in a November 2019 special edition of ''[[w:Newsnight|Newsnight]]'', he resigned from public roles in May 2020, and his honorary military affiliations and royal charitable patronages were returned to his mother in January 2022. He was the defendant in a civil lawsuit over sexual assault filed by Giuffre in the State of New York, which was settled out of court in February 2022. He renounced his titles of Duke of York, GCVO, and KG in October 2025, though legally he still holds them, and lost his right to be described as a prince. His arrest in 2026 followed allegations over his former role as UK trade envoy and his contacts with Jeffrey Epstein. ==Quotes== * It’s a simple answer. That’s my life. That’s what I expect. Right? That is because of who I am and that is because of the life of the family within which I’ve been brought up. So to me this state of affairs is not extraordinary. To anybody else who looks in, they think I’m bloody mad! But that’s what we do. ** From Andrew Edgecliffe-Johnson, [https://www.ft.com/content/72c219cc-bf63-11de-a696-00144feab49a "Dinner with the FT: Prince Andrew"], ''Financial Times'' (23 October 2009) ** Describing his view of the his role as a member of the Royal Family fulfilling hundreds of engagements each year. * Well, if you’ll pardon the expression, that really is the n***** in the woodpile ** When asked if the department of trade could be doing a better job, as recorded by Rohan Silva in '[https://www.standard.co.uk/comment/comment/prince-andrew-rohan-silva-language-a4289571.html Rohan Silva: Prince Andrew’s use of language left me reeling — and I still regret not challenging his choice of words]' (2019), ''Evening Standard'' * Please make sure that every statement or legal letter states clearly that I am NOT involved and that I knew and know NOTHING about any of these allegations. I can't take any more of this my end. ** From an email to [[Jeffrey Epstein]] and [[Ghislaine Maxwell]] (March 2011), as cited in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cglgj08erywo.amp "Epstein email says Andrew had photo taken with Virginia Giuffre"], ''BBC News'' (13 November 2025) ** The 2001 photograph of Mountbatten-Windsor, Maxwell and Virginia Roberts Giuffre at Maxwell's London home was about to be published by ''The Mail on Sunday'' * I could have worse tags than ‘Air Miles Andy’, although I don’t know what they are. ** Attributed in Marina Hyde, [https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/aug/10/prince-andrew-sweating-lawsuit-duke-york-virginia-giuffre "Of course Prince Andrew isn’t sweating over this lawsuit – he can’t"], ''The Guardian'' (11 August 2021) * [On his military service during the [[w:Falklands War|Falklands War]] in 1982] So whilst I think back to a day when a young man went to war, full of bravado, I returned a changed man. * I put away childish things and false bravado and returned a man full in the knowledge of human frailty and suffering. * My reflection makes me think even harder and pray even more fervently for those in conflict today, for those family’s [sic] torn apart by the horrors they have witnessed. **Comments on the Instagram account of his ex-wife, [[Sarah Ferguson]] (March 2022), as cited in [https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/apr/02/i-returned-a-changed-man-prince-andrew-reflects-on-his-falklands-war-service "I returned a changed man’: Prince Andrew deletes Falklands war post"], ''The Guardian'' (2 April 2022) ==="[[w:Prince Andrew & the Epstein Scandal|Prince Andrew & the Epstein Scandal]]" (2019)=== :<small>'''''[[w:Newsnight|Newsnight]]'' interview with Emily Maitlis (broadcast 16 November 2019).'''</small> *[T]he people that I met and the opportunities that I was given to learn either by him or because of him were actually very useful. *I kick myself for, on a daily basis, because it was not something that was becoming of a member of the royal family [...] And we try and uphold the highest standards and practices and I let the side down, simple as that. **[https://time.com/5731244/prince-andrew-interview-epstein/ "Prince Andrew Says He Doesn't Regret His 'Very Useful' Relationship With Jeffrey Epstein"] ''[[w:Time (magazine)|Time]]'' magazine (18 November 2019) cited from ''[[w:Newsnight|Newsnight]]'' interview with Emily Maitlis (broadcast 16 November 2019) * [On his alleged meetings with [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Giuffre]], his accuser] I don't know if I've met her but no, I have no recollection of meeting her. * [[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/feb/15/virginia-giuffre-prince-andrew-picture-settlement-lawsuit On the 2001 photograph of himself] with Giuffre (then Roberts) and [[Ghislaine Maxwell]]] I have absolutely no memory of that photograph ever being taken. * [Asked on how the photograph might have been faked] I don't believe it's a picture of me in London because . . . when I go out in London I wear a suit and tie. [...] Nobody can prove whether or not that photograph has been doctored but I don't recollect that photograph ever being taken. [...] I'm at a loss to explain this particular photograph. ** [https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/prince-andrew-interview-ive-got-to-have-a-thick-skin-and-get-on-with-it-sgcqwqwlr "Prince Andrew interview: 'I've got to have a thick skin and get on with it'"], ''The Sunday Times'' (London, 16 November 2019) ** See ''[[w:Virginia Giuffre v. Prince Andrew|Virginia Giuffre v. Prince Andrew]]'' for her civil litigation against the Prince. [https://www.nytimes.com/2022/02/15/nyregion/prince-andrew-virginia-giuffre-settlement.html The case was resolved out of court] in February 2022 without the Prince admitting liability; he was never criminally charged. [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-60397947 The financial settlement] was not disclosed, but was said to run into millions of pounds. * If you're a man it is a positive act to have sex with somebody [...] You have to … take some sort of positive action and so therefore if you try to forget it’s very difficult to try and forget a positive action and I do not remember anything. * [Explaining that he could not have had sex with [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Giuffre]] (then Roberts) at the [[London]] home of [[Ghislaine Maxwell]]] I was with the children and I’d taken Beatrice to a [[w:PizzaExpress|Pizza Express]] in Woking for a party at I suppose four or five in the afternoon. And then because the duchess [Sarah Ferguson] was away, we have a simple rule in the family that when one is away the other is there. * [Explaining why he stayed at the New York home of [[Jeffrey Epstein|Epstein]], a convicted child sex offender, in 2010.] It was a convenient place to stay... At the end of the day, with the benefit of all the hindsight one can have, it was definitely the wrong thing to do. But at the time, I felt it was the honourable and right thing to do. And I admit fully that my judgment was probably coloured by my tendency to be too honourable but that is just the way it is. ** Cited in Jamie Doward [https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/nov/16/prince-andrew-denies-sex-with-teenager-as-at-home-after-pizza-party "Prince Andrew: I didn’t have sex with teenager, I was home after Pizza Express in Woking"] ''The Guardian'' (17 November 2019). * [Explaining why Virginia Giuffre's allegations against him of sexual assault couldn't be believed.] I didn’t sweat at the time because I had suffered what I would describe as an overdose of adrenaline in the [[Falklands War]], when I was shot at ... it was almost impossible for me to sweat. **Quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/prince-andrew-jeffrey-epstein-sweat-allegations-pizza-expresss-a9208496.html "Prince Andrew claimed he ‘didn’t sweat’ in BBC interview... but what does science say?], ''The Independent'' (26 Nov 2019) ==Quotes about Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor== * I met him [Prince Andrew] several times, including once at a state banquet where after dinner, I and my husband and another Labour cabinet minister had a drink with him, and I have to say the conversation left us slack-jawed with the things that he felt it was appropriate to say. :It was a state dinner for the Saudi royal family and he made racist comments about Arabs that were unbelievable. :The fact he thought we might find this amusing was sort of a terrible situation to be in. I don’t think he’s very bright. I don’t think he really understands the way in which he behaves. He’s the worst end of the royal family, I think. :I am not going to tell you exactly what he said but it involved a comment about camels. It is as worse as you could imagine. ** Former home secretary Jacqui Smith on LBC, as quoted in Chris Baynes, '[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/prince-andrew-racist-arabs-saudi-royal-family-dinner-jacqui-smith-epstein-a9209391.html Prince Andrew made racist comments about Arabs at Buckingham Palace dinner, claims former home secretary]' (2019), ''The Independent'' *(Former royal protection officer Paul Page speaking about the duke’s private apartment) It had about 50 or 60 stuffed toys positioned on the bed. And, basically, there was a card the inspector showed us in a drawer, and it was a picture of these [[w:teddy bear|bears]] all in situ on the bed. And the reason for the laminated picture was that, if those bears weren’t put back in the right order by the maids, he would shout and scream and become verbally abusive. ** Page quoted speaking in the ''ITV'' programme ''Ghislaine, Prince Andrew and the Paedophile'' in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/ghislaine-maxwell-itv-page-prince-two-b1994572.html Andrew’s teddy bear collection was not to be disturbed, claims documentary], ''The Independent'' (17 January 2022) [[File:Jacques-Louis David - Marie Antoinette on the Way to the Guillotine.jpg|thumb|"The Widow [[w:House of Capet|Capet]]" ~ [[Peter Hitchens]] and [[Mary Kenny]]]] * Andrew, unfortunately, exhibited classic symptoms of what is scientifically recognised as the [[w:Dunning–Kruger effect|Dunning-Kruger effect]], the cognitive bias in which people come to believe that they are smarter and more capable than they really are. The combination of minimal self-awareness and dim wattage leads sufferers of this condition to overestimate their own capabilities. Years of enjoying unearned obeisance to his royal position allowed Andrew to bang on with a combination of overweening self-confidence and unchallenged ignorance. It also made him an easy mark for con men and crooks. ** [[Tina Brown]], extract from her book ''The Palace Papers'', as cited in [https://www.telegraph.co.uk/royal-family/2022/04/11/jeffrey-epstein-told-people-prince-andrew-idiot-useful-one/ "'Jeffrey Epstein told people that Prince Andrew was an idiot – but a useful one'"], ''The Telegraph'' (11 April 2022) * I have learned with the deepest concern the news about Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor and suspicion of misconduct in public office.<br />What now follows is the full, fair and proper process by which this issue is investigated in the appropriate manner and by the appropriate authorities. In this, as I have said before, they have our full and wholehearted support and co-operation. Let me state clearly: the law must take its course.<br />As this process continues, it would not be right for me to comment further on this matter. Meanwhile, my family and I will continue in our duty and service to you all. ** [[Charles III|Charles R]] (as signed), statement cited in [https://www.thetimes.com/uk/royal-family/article/andrew-arrested-misconduct-public-office-sandringham-5k6nzwjr2 "Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor arrested for misconduct in public office"], ''The Times'' {19 February 2026). ** The former prince was arrested on what was his 66th birthday. :On 10 March 2001 we were in London, staying at [Ghislaine] Maxwell’s pied-à-terre – a white mews house a short walk from Hyde Park. :In the years since, I've thought a lot about how he behaved. He was friendly enough, but still entitled – as if he believed having sex with me was his birthright. I drew him a hot bath. We disrobed and got in the tub, but didn't stay there long because the prince was eager to get to the bed. He was particularly attentive to my feet, caressing my toes and licking my arches. That was a first for me, and it tickled. I was nervous he would want me to do the same to him. But I needn't have worried. He seemed in a rush to have intercourse. Afterward, he said thank you in his clipped British accent. In my memory, the whole thing lasted less than half an hour.<br />The next morning, Maxwell told me: "You did well. The prince had fun." Epstein would give me $15,000 for servicing the man the tabloids called “Randy Andy”. :My second encounter with Prince Andrew took place about a month later, at Epstein's townhouse in New York. Epstein greeted Andrew and brought him to the living room, where Maxwell and I were sitting. Another one of their victims, Johanna Sjoberg, arrived soon afterward. Maxwell then announced to the prince that she'd purchased him a joke gift, a puppet that looked just like him. She suggested we pose for a photo with it. The prince and I sat down next to each other on the couch, and Maxwell put the puppet in my lap, positioning one of its hands on one of my breasts. Then she put Sjoberg on the prince's lap, and the prince put his hand on Sjoberg's breast. The symbolism was impossible to ignore. Johanna and I were Maxwell and Epstein's puppets, and they were pulling the strings. :I don't know exactly when I had sex with Prince Andrew for the third time, but I do know the location: a 72-acre island Epstein owned in the US Virgin Islands. The private sanctuary, right next to Saint Thomas island, was called Little Saint James, but Epstein liked to call it "Little Saint Jeff's". I also know that it was not just the two of us this time; it was an orgy. "I was around 18," I said in a sworn declaration in 2015. "Epstein, Andy, and approximately eight other young girls and I had sex together. The other girls all appeared to be under the age of 18 and didn't really speak English. Epstein laughed about how they couldn’t really communicate, saying they are the easiest girls to get along with."<br />Since I gave that account, Epstein’s pilot has said in a deposition that a coded notation ("AP") that he made on his flight log for 4 July 2001, referred to Prince Andrew. He said that Epstein, the prince, another woman and I flew from Saint Thomas that day back to Palm Beach. I guess it's possible that the orgy I remember occurred in the days leading up to that flight, which would mean I was still 17. I'll probably never know the date for certain. What I do know, because Epstein told me, is that [[w:Jean-Luc Brunel|Jean-Luc Brunel]], the French modelling agent who was also in attendance, supplied the other girls who took part. ** [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Roberts Giuffre]] ''Nobody’s Girl: A Memoir of Surviving Abuse and Fighting for Justice'' (Doubleday (UK)/Alfred A Knopf (US)/Penguin Random House (Aus), 2025), as cited in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/oct/15/prince-andrew-virginia-giuffre-abuse-epstein-maxwell "'Prince Andrew believed having sex with me was his birthright': Virginia Giuffre on her abuse at the hands of Epstein, Maxwell and the king's brother"], ''The Guardian'' (15 October 2025) *a "highly classified" report from an unnamed US security service exposes how Andrew was viewed as a "useful idiot" and the Royal family's "weak link" by Russian agents. The spies exploited the former Duke of York's view that he would make a better king than his older brother, alleged the report, alongside his desire for "financial, sexual, and personal reward". [...] A source said: "It [the report] says that Russian intelligence developed networks using figures such as Jeffrey Epstein for access to political and business leaders and to control any possible domestic law enforcement actions. It states that 'Andrew Mountbatten Windsor (AMW) was cultivated by Russian intelligence in order to have a figure close to the British Royal Family." [...] "AMW was not blackmailed or otherwise coerced into this role - rather he was a willing participant in these schemes due to financial, sexual and personal reward. Russian intelligence used AMW's sexual proclivities to establish a relationship rapport in order to exploit this mental condition for further gain." ** Rebecca Henrys, '[https://www.lbc.co.uk/article/andrew-russia-epstein-charles-5HjdTcC_2/ Andrew 'targeted by Russian spies' who exploited his 'hatred' of Charles]' (27 February 2026), LBC * Is this a [[Marie Antoinette|Marie-Antoinette]] moment for the British monarchy? What first triggered animosity against the queen of France was a slew of excited publications stressing her extravagance and indulgence in flagrant luxury, as well as her alleged sexual decadence (an entirely false claim). Before being guillotined, her name was humiliatingly demoted – just like Andrew's – to "the Widow Capet". ** [[Mary Kenny]], [https://www.independent.ie/opinion/comment/mary-kenny-has-andrew-brought-the-british-royal-family-to-its-marie-antoinette-moment/a7899354.html "Has Andrew brought the British royal family to its Marie-Antoinette moment?"], ''[[w:Irish Independent|Irish Independent]]'' (8 November 2025). Echoing earlier comments by [[Peter Hitchens]] from an interview on {{w|Times Radio}} (1 November 2025): "I'll be accused...of defending "Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor", as we must now call him, in French-Revolutionary style, as I think Marie Antoinette ended up being called "The Widow Capet" in the same fashion." [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HkGEOkYkgY&t=239s] * Andrew's room service demands soon came to the attention of [[w:Andrew MacGregor Marshall|Andrew MacGregor Marshall]], Reuters' [[Thailand]] correspondent who had friends and connections in the hotel: ::During his short stay, more than forty women were brought to his room. Often, as soon as one left, another would arrive. Hotel staff were amazed - they ware used to foreigners bringing girls to their room, but more than ten a day were going to Andrew's room. And this was all juggled amid official engagements. :[...] Many speak of how Andrew's staff often requested that attractive women be invited to events, with a private secretary specifying, 'He likes blondes', to which one consul replied, 'I'm a diplomat, not a pimp.' ** [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], ''Entitled: The Rise and Fall of the House of York'' (HarperCollins, 2025) * One bean-counter had complained about Andrew's expenses, querying whether he could put massages on the taxpayer's tab, and it was pushed through. We’ve been paying for happy endings for Andrew for years. ** [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], quoted in Zoe Williams, '[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026/feb/24/andrew-mountbatten-windsor-biographer-andrew-lownie-entitled 'We've been paying for happy endings for Andrew for years': the inside story of a royal disgrace, by his biographer]' (24 February 2026), ''The Guardian'' * the duke didn't relate well to less senior contacts or staff. 'He didn't seem to understand the responsibilities or accountability that came with his status, or think through the consequences of what he said for those with less privilege,' said the ambassador. Although as a senior royal, Andrew was a high-ranking asset, he was also a liability who had to be managed, self-centred and showed little interest in the problems of others. ** [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], ''Entitled: The Rise and Fall of the House of York'' (HarperCollins, 2025) * I know that Epstein was a Soviet asset. There's a huge national security scandal here of penetration. [...] Keep it to the sexual side – everyone understands that bit – and certainly not go anywhere near the national security scandal. The plan [of the palace], I think, at the moment, is to throw Andrew to the wolves. ** [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], quoted in Zoe Williams, '[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026/feb/24/andrew-mountbatten-windsor-biographer-andrew-lownie-entitled 'We've been paying for happy endings for Andrew for years': the inside story of a royal disgrace, by his biographer]' (24 February 2026), ''The Guardian'' * In 2001 I was in London when [redacted] met a number of friends of mine including Prince Andrew. A photograph was taken as I imagine she wanted to show it to friends and family. ** [[Ghislaine Maxwell]] in an email to Jeffrey Epstein (2015), as cited in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvgp2xx7gxjo "Email appears to confirm Andrew and Virginia Giuffre photo is real"], ''BBC News'' (4 February 2026). ** From a document released by the [[w:United States Department of Justice|U.S. Department of Justice]] contained in the [[w:Epstein files|Epstein files]]. * Putin could finish Andrew (and the Royal Family) anytime he likes with photos, tales and evidence he no doubt has on Andrew in Russia. ** Tim Reilly, vice-president of [[Kroll Inc.|Kroll Inc.]], quoted in [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], ''Entitled: The Rise and Fall of the House of York'' (HarperCollins, 2025) * Mountbatten-Windsor at school was known for being a bully, a loner, supercilious, entitled, indulged. One story from [[w:Heatherdown School|Heatherdown]] says that he took someone's exotic stamp collection, simply crossed their name out and wrote in his own, and was never punished. ** Zoe Williams, '[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026/feb/24/andrew-mountbatten-windsor-biographer-andrew-lownie-entitled 'We've been paying for happy endings for Andrew for years': the inside story of a royal disgrace, by his biographer] (24 February 2026), ''The Guardian'' ==External links== {{wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Mountbatten-Windsor, Andrew}} [[Category:1960 births]] [[Category:Living people]] [[Category:Anglicans from the United Kingdom]] [[Category:People from London]] [[Category:House of Windsor]] df37l86m1rbr0ank60ewdpoew6o4k0j 3942136 3942133 2026-05-17T18:49:44Z Woofboy 2984402 /* Quotes */ 3942136 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Prince Andrew, Duke of York (cropped).jpg|thumb|I could have worse tags than ‘Air Miles Andy’, although I don’t know what they are.]] '''[[w:Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor|Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor]]''', (Andrew Albert Christian Edward; born 19 February 1960), formerly known as '''Prince Andrew, Duke of York''', is the third child and second son of Queen [[Elizabeth II]] and [[Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh]]; his elder brother is King [[Charles III]]. A former close associate of [[Jeffrey Epstein]], in February 2026, Mountbatten-Windsor was arrested on suspicion of [[w:Malfeasance in office|misconduct in public office]]. Andrew served in the [[Royal Navy]] as a helicopter pilot, the captain of a warship and saw active service during the [[Falklands War]]. In 1986, he married [[Sarah Ferguson]] and became Duke of York. They have two daughters: [[Princess Beatrice|Beatrice]] and [[Princess Eugenie|Eugenie]]. The couple separated in 1992, and divorced in 1996. As Duke of York, Andrew undertook official duties and engagements on behalf of his mother, Queen Elizabeth II. He served as the UK's Special Representative for International Trade and Investment for 10 years until July 2011. [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Giuffre]] (originally Roberts) claimed that, as a 17-year old, she was sex trafficked to Prince Andrew by the American financier and convicted sex offender [[Jeffrey Epstein]]. The prince denied any wrongdoing. Following criticism for his association with Epstein and his interview with [[w:Emily Maitlis|Emily Maitlis]] in a November 2019 special edition of ''[[w:Newsnight|Newsnight]]'', he resigned from public roles in May 2020, and his honorary military affiliations and royal charitable patronages were returned to his mother in January 2022. He was the defendant in a civil lawsuit over sexual assault filed by Giuffre in the State of New York, which was settled out of court in February 2022. He renounced his titles of Duke of York, GCVO, and KG in October 2025, though legally he still holds them, and lost his right to be described as a prince. His arrest in 2026 followed allegations over his former role as UK trade envoy and his contacts with Jeffrey Epstein. ==Quotes== * It’s a simple answer. That’s my life. That’s what I expect. Right? That is because of who I am and that is because of the life of the family within which I’ve been brought up. So to me this state of affairs is not extraordinary. To anybody else who looks in, they think I’m bloody mad! But that’s what we do. ** From Andrew Edgecliffe-Johnson, [https://www.ft.com/content/72c219cc-bf63-11de-a696-00144feab49a "Dinner with the FT: Prince Andrew"], ''Financial Times'' (23 October 2009) ** Describing his view of the his role as a member of the Royal Family fulfilling hundreds of engagements each year. * Please make sure that every statement or legal letter states clearly that I am NOT involved and that I knew and know NOTHING about any of these allegations. I can't take any more of this my end. ** From an email to [[Jeffrey Epstein]] and [[Ghislaine Maxwell]] (March 2011), as cited in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cglgj08erywo.amp "Epstein email says Andrew had photo taken with Virginia Giuffre"], ''BBC News'' (13 November 2025) ** The 2001 photograph of Mountbatten-Windsor, Maxwell and Virginia Roberts Giuffre at Maxwell's London home was about to be published by ''The Mail on Sunday'' * I'm just as concerned for you! Don't worry about me! It would seem we are in this together and will have to rise above it. Otherwise keep in close touch and we'll play some more soon!!!! :A, HRH The Duke of York, KG. ** From an email to Jeffrey Epstein (sent 28 February 2011), following the publication of a photography of Mountbatten-Windsor and Virginia Roberts Giuffre. Quoted in Robert Booth, '[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025/oct/12/prince-andrew-told-jeffrey-epstein-were-in-this-together-in-2011-email Prince Andrew told Jeffrey Epstein 'we're in this together' in 2011 email]' (12 October 2025), ''The Guardian'' * Well, if you'll pardon the expression, that really is the n***** in the woodpile ** When asked if the department of trade could be doing a better job, as recorded by Rohan Silva in '[https://www.standard.co.uk/comment/comment/prince-andrew-rohan-silva-language-a4289571.html Rohan Silva: Prince Andrew’s use of language left me reeling — and I still regret not challenging his choice of words]' (2019), ''Evening Standard'' * I could have worse tags than ‘Air Miles Andy’, although I don’t know what they are. ** Attributed in Marina Hyde, [https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/aug/10/prince-andrew-sweating-lawsuit-duke-york-virginia-giuffre "Of course Prince Andrew isn’t sweating over this lawsuit – he can’t"], ''The Guardian'' (11 August 2021) * [On his military service during the [[w:Falklands War|Falklands War]] in 1982] So whilst I think back to a day when a young man went to war, full of bravado, I returned a changed man. * I put away childish things and false bravado and returned a man full in the knowledge of human frailty and suffering. * My reflection makes me think even harder and pray even more fervently for those in conflict today, for those family’s [sic] torn apart by the horrors they have witnessed. **Comments on the Instagram account of his ex-wife, [[Sarah Ferguson]] (March 2022), as cited in [https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/apr/02/i-returned-a-changed-man-prince-andrew-reflects-on-his-falklands-war-service "I returned a changed man’: Prince Andrew deletes Falklands war post"], ''The Guardian'' (2 April 2022) ==="[[w:Prince Andrew & the Epstein Scandal|Prince Andrew & the Epstein Scandal]]" (2019)=== :<small>'''''[[w:Newsnight|Newsnight]]'' interview with Emily Maitlis (broadcast 16 November 2019).'''</small> *[T]he people that I met and the opportunities that I was given to learn either by him or because of him were actually very useful. *I kick myself for, on a daily basis, because it was not something that was becoming of a member of the royal family [...] And we try and uphold the highest standards and practices and I let the side down, simple as that. **[https://time.com/5731244/prince-andrew-interview-epstein/ "Prince Andrew Says He Doesn't Regret His 'Very Useful' Relationship With Jeffrey Epstein"] ''[[w:Time (magazine)|Time]]'' magazine (18 November 2019) cited from ''[[w:Newsnight|Newsnight]]'' interview with Emily Maitlis (broadcast 16 November 2019) * [On his alleged meetings with [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Giuffre]], his accuser] I don't know if I've met her but no, I have no recollection of meeting her. * [[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/feb/15/virginia-giuffre-prince-andrew-picture-settlement-lawsuit On the 2001 photograph of himself] with Giuffre (then Roberts) and [[Ghislaine Maxwell]]] I have absolutely no memory of that photograph ever being taken. * [Asked on how the photograph might have been faked] I don't believe it's a picture of me in London because . . . when I go out in London I wear a suit and tie. [...] Nobody can prove whether or not that photograph has been doctored but I don't recollect that photograph ever being taken. [...] I'm at a loss to explain this particular photograph. ** [https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/prince-andrew-interview-ive-got-to-have-a-thick-skin-and-get-on-with-it-sgcqwqwlr "Prince Andrew interview: 'I've got to have a thick skin and get on with it'"], ''The Sunday Times'' (London, 16 November 2019) ** See ''[[w:Virginia Giuffre v. Prince Andrew|Virginia Giuffre v. Prince Andrew]]'' for her civil litigation against the Prince. [https://www.nytimes.com/2022/02/15/nyregion/prince-andrew-virginia-giuffre-settlement.html The case was resolved out of court] in February 2022 without the Prince admitting liability; he was never criminally charged. [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-60397947 The financial settlement] was not disclosed, but was said to run into millions of pounds. * If you're a man it is a positive act to have sex with somebody [...] You have to … take some sort of positive action and so therefore if you try to forget it’s very difficult to try and forget a positive action and I do not remember anything. * [Explaining that he could not have had sex with [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Giuffre]] (then Roberts) at the [[London]] home of [[Ghislaine Maxwell]]] I was with the children and I’d taken Beatrice to a [[w:PizzaExpress|Pizza Express]] in Woking for a party at I suppose four or five in the afternoon. And then because the duchess [Sarah Ferguson] was away, we have a simple rule in the family that when one is away the other is there. * [Explaining why he stayed at the New York home of [[Jeffrey Epstein|Epstein]], a convicted child sex offender, in 2010.] It was a convenient place to stay... At the end of the day, with the benefit of all the hindsight one can have, it was definitely the wrong thing to do. But at the time, I felt it was the honourable and right thing to do. And I admit fully that my judgment was probably coloured by my tendency to be too honourable but that is just the way it is. ** Cited in Jamie Doward [https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/nov/16/prince-andrew-denies-sex-with-teenager-as-at-home-after-pizza-party "Prince Andrew: I didn’t have sex with teenager, I was home after Pizza Express in Woking"] ''The Guardian'' (17 November 2019). * [Explaining why Virginia Giuffre's allegations against him of sexual assault couldn't be believed.] I didn’t sweat at the time because I had suffered what I would describe as an overdose of adrenaline in the [[Falklands War]], when I was shot at ... it was almost impossible for me to sweat. **Quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/prince-andrew-jeffrey-epstein-sweat-allegations-pizza-expresss-a9208496.html "Prince Andrew claimed he ‘didn’t sweat’ in BBC interview... but what does science say?], ''The Independent'' (26 Nov 2019) ==Quotes about Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor== * I met him [Prince Andrew] several times, including once at a state banquet where after dinner, I and my husband and another Labour cabinet minister had a drink with him, and I have to say the conversation left us slack-jawed with the things that he felt it was appropriate to say. :It was a state dinner for the Saudi royal family and he made racist comments about Arabs that were unbelievable. :The fact he thought we might find this amusing was sort of a terrible situation to be in. I don’t think he’s very bright. I don’t think he really understands the way in which he behaves. He’s the worst end of the royal family, I think. :I am not going to tell you exactly what he said but it involved a comment about camels. It is as worse as you could imagine. ** Former home secretary Jacqui Smith on LBC, as quoted in Chris Baynes, '[https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/prince-andrew-racist-arabs-saudi-royal-family-dinner-jacqui-smith-epstein-a9209391.html Prince Andrew made racist comments about Arabs at Buckingham Palace dinner, claims former home secretary]' (2019), ''The Independent'' *(Former royal protection officer Paul Page speaking about the duke’s private apartment) It had about 50 or 60 stuffed toys positioned on the bed. And, basically, there was a card the inspector showed us in a drawer, and it was a picture of these [[w:teddy bear|bears]] all in situ on the bed. And the reason for the laminated picture was that, if those bears weren’t put back in the right order by the maids, he would shout and scream and become verbally abusive. ** Page quoted speaking in the ''ITV'' programme ''Ghislaine, Prince Andrew and the Paedophile'' in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/ghislaine-maxwell-itv-page-prince-two-b1994572.html Andrew’s teddy bear collection was not to be disturbed, claims documentary], ''The Independent'' (17 January 2022) [[File:Jacques-Louis David - Marie Antoinette on the Way to the Guillotine.jpg|thumb|"The Widow [[w:House of Capet|Capet]]" ~ [[Peter Hitchens]] and [[Mary Kenny]]]] * Andrew, unfortunately, exhibited classic symptoms of what is scientifically recognised as the [[w:Dunning–Kruger effect|Dunning-Kruger effect]], the cognitive bias in which people come to believe that they are smarter and more capable than they really are. The combination of minimal self-awareness and dim wattage leads sufferers of this condition to overestimate their own capabilities. Years of enjoying unearned obeisance to his royal position allowed Andrew to bang on with a combination of overweening self-confidence and unchallenged ignorance. It also made him an easy mark for con men and crooks. ** [[Tina Brown]], extract from her book ''The Palace Papers'', as cited in [https://www.telegraph.co.uk/royal-family/2022/04/11/jeffrey-epstein-told-people-prince-andrew-idiot-useful-one/ "'Jeffrey Epstein told people that Prince Andrew was an idiot – but a useful one'"], ''The Telegraph'' (11 April 2022) * I have learned with the deepest concern the news about Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor and suspicion of misconduct in public office.<br />What now follows is the full, fair and proper process by which this issue is investigated in the appropriate manner and by the appropriate authorities. In this, as I have said before, they have our full and wholehearted support and co-operation. Let me state clearly: the law must take its course.<br />As this process continues, it would not be right for me to comment further on this matter. Meanwhile, my family and I will continue in our duty and service to you all. ** [[Charles III|Charles R]] (as signed), statement cited in [https://www.thetimes.com/uk/royal-family/article/andrew-arrested-misconduct-public-office-sandringham-5k6nzwjr2 "Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor arrested for misconduct in public office"], ''The Times'' {19 February 2026). ** The former prince was arrested on what was his 66th birthday. :On 10 March 2001 we were in London, staying at [Ghislaine] Maxwell’s pied-à-terre – a white mews house a short walk from Hyde Park. :In the years since, I've thought a lot about how he behaved. He was friendly enough, but still entitled – as if he believed having sex with me was his birthright. I drew him a hot bath. We disrobed and got in the tub, but didn't stay there long because the prince was eager to get to the bed. He was particularly attentive to my feet, caressing my toes and licking my arches. That was a first for me, and it tickled. I was nervous he would want me to do the same to him. But I needn't have worried. He seemed in a rush to have intercourse. Afterward, he said thank you in his clipped British accent. In my memory, the whole thing lasted less than half an hour.<br />The next morning, Maxwell told me: "You did well. The prince had fun." Epstein would give me $15,000 for servicing the man the tabloids called “Randy Andy”. :My second encounter with Prince Andrew took place about a month later, at Epstein's townhouse in New York. Epstein greeted Andrew and brought him to the living room, where Maxwell and I were sitting. Another one of their victims, Johanna Sjoberg, arrived soon afterward. Maxwell then announced to the prince that she'd purchased him a joke gift, a puppet that looked just like him. She suggested we pose for a photo with it. The prince and I sat down next to each other on the couch, and Maxwell put the puppet in my lap, positioning one of its hands on one of my breasts. Then she put Sjoberg on the prince's lap, and the prince put his hand on Sjoberg's breast. The symbolism was impossible to ignore. Johanna and I were Maxwell and Epstein's puppets, and they were pulling the strings. :I don't know exactly when I had sex with Prince Andrew for the third time, but I do know the location: a 72-acre island Epstein owned in the US Virgin Islands. The private sanctuary, right next to Saint Thomas island, was called Little Saint James, but Epstein liked to call it "Little Saint Jeff's". I also know that it was not just the two of us this time; it was an orgy. "I was around 18," I said in a sworn declaration in 2015. "Epstein, Andy, and approximately eight other young girls and I had sex together. The other girls all appeared to be under the age of 18 and didn't really speak English. Epstein laughed about how they couldn’t really communicate, saying they are the easiest girls to get along with."<br />Since I gave that account, Epstein’s pilot has said in a deposition that a coded notation ("AP") that he made on his flight log for 4 July 2001, referred to Prince Andrew. He said that Epstein, the prince, another woman and I flew from Saint Thomas that day back to Palm Beach. I guess it's possible that the orgy I remember occurred in the days leading up to that flight, which would mean I was still 17. I'll probably never know the date for certain. What I do know, because Epstein told me, is that [[w:Jean-Luc Brunel|Jean-Luc Brunel]], the French modelling agent who was also in attendance, supplied the other girls who took part. ** [[w:Virginia Giuffre|Virginia Roberts Giuffre]] ''Nobody’s Girl: A Memoir of Surviving Abuse and Fighting for Justice'' (Doubleday (UK)/Alfred A Knopf (US)/Penguin Random House (Aus), 2025), as cited in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/oct/15/prince-andrew-virginia-giuffre-abuse-epstein-maxwell "'Prince Andrew believed having sex with me was his birthright': Virginia Giuffre on her abuse at the hands of Epstein, Maxwell and the king's brother"], ''The Guardian'' (15 October 2025) *a "highly classified" report from an unnamed US security service exposes how Andrew was viewed as a "useful idiot" and the Royal family's "weak link" by Russian agents. The spies exploited the former Duke of York's view that he would make a better king than his older brother, alleged the report, alongside his desire for "financial, sexual, and personal reward". [...] A source said: "It [the report] says that Russian intelligence developed networks using figures such as Jeffrey Epstein for access to political and business leaders and to control any possible domestic law enforcement actions. It states that 'Andrew Mountbatten Windsor (AMW) was cultivated by Russian intelligence in order to have a figure close to the British Royal Family." [...] "AMW was not blackmailed or otherwise coerced into this role - rather he was a willing participant in these schemes due to financial, sexual and personal reward. Russian intelligence used AMW's sexual proclivities to establish a relationship rapport in order to exploit this mental condition for further gain." ** Rebecca Henrys, '[https://www.lbc.co.uk/article/andrew-russia-epstein-charles-5HjdTcC_2/ Andrew 'targeted by Russian spies' who exploited his 'hatred' of Charles]' (27 February 2026), LBC * Is this a [[Marie Antoinette|Marie-Antoinette]] moment for the British monarchy? What first triggered animosity against the queen of France was a slew of excited publications stressing her extravagance and indulgence in flagrant luxury, as well as her alleged sexual decadence (an entirely false claim). Before being guillotined, her name was humiliatingly demoted – just like Andrew's – to "the Widow Capet". ** [[Mary Kenny]], [https://www.independent.ie/opinion/comment/mary-kenny-has-andrew-brought-the-british-royal-family-to-its-marie-antoinette-moment/a7899354.html "Has Andrew brought the British royal family to its Marie-Antoinette moment?"], ''[[w:Irish Independent|Irish Independent]]'' (8 November 2025). Echoing earlier comments by [[Peter Hitchens]] from an interview on {{w|Times Radio}} (1 November 2025): "I'll be accused...of defending "Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor", as we must now call him, in French-Revolutionary style, as I think Marie Antoinette ended up being called "The Widow Capet" in the same fashion." [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HkGEOkYkgY&t=239s] * Andrew's room service demands soon came to the attention of [[w:Andrew MacGregor Marshall|Andrew MacGregor Marshall]], Reuters' [[Thailand]] correspondent who had friends and connections in the hotel: ::During his short stay, more than forty women were brought to his room. Often, as soon as one left, another would arrive. Hotel staff were amazed - they ware used to foreigners bringing girls to their room, but more than ten a day were going to Andrew's room. And this was all juggled amid official engagements. :[...] Many speak of how Andrew's staff often requested that attractive women be invited to events, with a private secretary specifying, 'He likes blondes', to which one consul replied, 'I'm a diplomat, not a pimp.' ** [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], ''Entitled: The Rise and Fall of the House of York'' (HarperCollins, 2025) * One bean-counter had complained about Andrew's expenses, querying whether he could put massages on the taxpayer's tab, and it was pushed through. We’ve been paying for happy endings for Andrew for years. ** [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], quoted in Zoe Williams, '[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026/feb/24/andrew-mountbatten-windsor-biographer-andrew-lownie-entitled 'We've been paying for happy endings for Andrew for years': the inside story of a royal disgrace, by his biographer]' (24 February 2026), ''The Guardian'' * the duke didn't relate well to less senior contacts or staff. 'He didn't seem to understand the responsibilities or accountability that came with his status, or think through the consequences of what he said for those with less privilege,' said the ambassador. Although as a senior royal, Andrew was a high-ranking asset, he was also a liability who had to be managed, self-centred and showed little interest in the problems of others. ** [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], ''Entitled: The Rise and Fall of the House of York'' (HarperCollins, 2025) * I know that Epstein was a Soviet asset. There's a huge national security scandal here of penetration. [...] Keep it to the sexual side – everyone understands that bit – and certainly not go anywhere near the national security scandal. The plan [of the palace], I think, at the moment, is to throw Andrew to the wolves. ** [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], quoted in Zoe Williams, '[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026/feb/24/andrew-mountbatten-windsor-biographer-andrew-lownie-entitled 'We've been paying for happy endings for Andrew for years': the inside story of a royal disgrace, by his biographer]' (24 February 2026), ''The Guardian'' * In 2001 I was in London when [redacted] met a number of friends of mine including Prince Andrew. A photograph was taken as I imagine she wanted to show it to friends and family. ** [[Ghislaine Maxwell]] in an email to Jeffrey Epstein (2015), as cited in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvgp2xx7gxjo "Email appears to confirm Andrew and Virginia Giuffre photo is real"], ''BBC News'' (4 February 2026). ** From a document released by the [[w:United States Department of Justice|U.S. Department of Justice]] contained in the [[w:Epstein files|Epstein files]]. * Putin could finish Andrew (and the Royal Family) anytime he likes with photos, tales and evidence he no doubt has on Andrew in Russia. ** Tim Reilly, vice-president of [[Kroll Inc.|Kroll Inc.]], quoted in [[w:Andrew Lownie|Andrew Lownie]], ''Entitled: The Rise and Fall of the House of York'' (HarperCollins, 2025) * Mountbatten-Windsor at school was known for being a bully, a loner, supercilious, entitled, indulged. One story from [[w:Heatherdown School|Heatherdown]] says that he took someone's exotic stamp collection, simply crossed their name out and wrote in his own, and was never punished. ** Zoe Williams, '[https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026/feb/24/andrew-mountbatten-windsor-biographer-andrew-lownie-entitled 'We've been paying for happy endings for Andrew for years': the inside story of a royal disgrace, by his biographer] (24 February 2026), ''The Guardian'' ==External links== {{wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Mountbatten-Windsor, Andrew}} [[Category:1960 births]] [[Category:Living people]] [[Category:Anglicans from the United Kingdom]] [[Category:People from London]] [[Category:House of Windsor]] of0843yxiek1stjp09ezyk6crbwwc74 0 259037 3942194 3915958 2026-05-17T21:36:47Z GrimRob 1187925 cleanup 3942194 wikitext text/x-wiki {{People-cleanup}} '''[[w:Margaret Wanjiru|Margaret Wanjiru]]''' (born 22nd December 1961) is a Kenyan politician and a Bishop at Jesus is Alive Ministries (JIAM). {{political-stub}} {{Religious-stub}} == Quotes == * I quit ODM long time ago, says Bishop Margaret Wanjiru. ** as interviewed on [https://nation.africa/kenya/news/I-quit-ODM-Bishop-Margaret-Wanjiru/1950946-2481948-format-xhtml-4icnqh/index.html https://nation.africa/kenya] *The Nairobi governorship was mine and it remains mine. * Any party that feels that it wants to work with me, they can invite me, but ODM is not among them. Going back to ODM is a no. I left ODM a long time a go after what they did to me and that is democracy. * Even in my party (UDA), there are people I cannot vote for. They all know my stand, if someone has a questionable character or has zero service delivery track record, I Margaret Wanjiru cannot be part of their team. ** [https://www.citizen.digital/news/bishop-margaret-wanjiru-says-there-are-uda-candidates-she-cant-vote-for-n303249/] * The Kenyan voters have started to adopt the ‘six-piece’ voting trend, where they elect people of their preferred political party. ** [https://www.citizen.digital/news/bishop-margaret-wanjiru-says-there-are-uda-candidates-she-cant-vote-for-n303249/] * When people go out and campaign together, the crowd start looking at the whole team. There could be one or two that they don’t agree with, but for the sake of others we will do party politics. ** [https://www.citizen.digital/news/bishop-margaret-wanjiru-says-there-are-uda-candidates-she-cant-vote-for-n303249/] * I have much respect and love for His Excellency Dr William Ruto, our Deputy President Rigathi Gachagua and their families. We started this journey towards building a better and a more prosperous Nation together and we shall finish well together. ** [https://ntvkenya.co.ke/news/change-of-heart-bishop-wanjiru-softens-stance-on-ruto-gachagua/] * I have great respect for the President and his family and I was not prepared to be left out of the progress the government was making to change the lives of Kenyans. ** [https://ntvkenya.co.ke/news/change-of-heart-bishop-wanjiru-softens-stance-on-ruto-gachagua/] == External links== {{Wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Wanjiru, Margaret}} [[Category:Living people]] [[Category:1961 births]] [[Category:Women politicians in Kenya]] [[Category:Bishops]] gxf4vafxy3p6vq3iv34hti2xg35jwsg 0 264718 3942254 3407894 2026-05-18T07:16:43Z GrimRob 1187925 /* */ Thumb 3942254 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Hazelnuts (Corylus avellana) - whole with kernels.jpg|thumb]] The '''{{w|hazelnut}}''' is the {{w|seed}}-bearing structure by means of which the {{w|hazel tree}} reproduces. Hazelnuts are used in {{w|snack}} foods, {{w|breakfast cereal}}s, various {{w|baking|baked foods}}, {{w|confectionery}}, {{w|dessert}}s, {{w|cooking oil}}s, and {{w|salad dressing}}s. Hazelnuts are also called '''cobnuts''' or '''filberts''', according to the species of hazel tree. {{Food-stub}} ==Quotes== * Hazelnut (''Corylus avellana'' L.) belongs to the {{w|Betulaceae}} family and is a popular tree nut worldwide, mainly distributed in the coasts of the Black Sea region of Turkey, southern Europe (Italy, Spain, Portugal, and France), and in some areas of the United States (Oregon and Washington). Hazelnut is also cultivated in some other countries such as New Zealand, China, Azerbaijan, Chile, Iran, and Georgia, among others. Turkey is the world’s largest producer of hazelnuts, contributing ∼74% to the total global production, followed by Italy (∼16%), the United States (∼4%), and Spain (∼3%). Other countries contribute ∼3% to the total production ... Hazelnut is, therefore, the most popular tree nut in Europe. Several commercial hazelnut varieties are available ... ** Cesarettin Alasalvar and Fereidoon Shahidi, {{cite book|chapter=Compositional characteristics and health effects of hazelnut (''Corylus avellana'' L.): an overview|title=Tree nuts|year=2008|pages=199–228|publisher=CRC Press |doi=10.1201/9781420019391-16 |isbn=9780429075025 |chapter-url=https://www.taylorfrancis.com/chapters/edit/10.1201/9781420019391-16/compositional-characteristics-health-effects-hazelnut-corylus-avellana-overview}} * ‘Jefferson’ is a new hazelnut (''Corylus avellana'' L.) cultivar for the in-shell market. It was released by the Oregon Agricultural Experiment Station in Jan. 2009 as a replacement for ‘Barcelona’. It combines complete resistance to {{w|eastern filbert blight}} (EFB) caused by the fungus ''Anisogramma anomala'' (Peck) E. Müller with high nut yield, large nut size, and good kernel quality. Compared with ‘Barcelona’, Oregon's leading cultivar, ‘Jefferson’ has smaller trees, higher nut yield, and much higher nut yield efficiency. Pellicle removal ratings are better than ‘Barcelona’, and kernel quality is suitable for use in chocolate products and baked goods, although kernel size is larger than ideal for the kernel market. ‘Jefferson’ is recommended for Oregon's Willamette Valley and other areas with a similar climate. ** Shawn A. Mehlenbacher, David C. Smith, and Rebecca L. McCluskey, {{cite journal|doi=10.21273/HORTSCI.46.4.662 |title='Jefferson' Hazelnut |date=2011 |journal=HortScience |volume=46 |issue=4 |pages=662–664 |s2cid=251248346 |url=https://journals.ashs.org/hortsci/view/journals/hortsci/46/4/article-p662.xml}} * ... There are three creatures, the squirrel, the {{w|Wood mouse|field-mouse}}, and the bird called the {{w|Nuthatch|nut-hatch}} (''sitta Europæa''), which live much on hazel nuts; and yet they open them each in a different way. The first, after rasping off the small end, splits the shell in two with his long fore-teeth, as a man does this with his knife; the second nibbles a hole with his teeth, so regular as if drilled with a {{w|wimble}}, ...and yet so small that one would wonder how the kernel can be extracted through it; while the last picks an irregular ragged hole with its bill: but as this artist has no paws to hold the nut firm while he pierces it, like an adroit workman, he fixes it, as it were in a vice, in some cleft of a tree, or in some crevice; when, standing over it he perforates the stubborn shell. ** {{w|Gilbert White}}, {{cite book|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=MC5cCYSuYmgC&printsec=frontcover#v=onepage&q=sitta&f=false | title=The Natural History and Antiquities of Selborne | isbn=9780141905198 | date=26 May 1977 | publisher=Penguin UK }} (1st edition 1789) ==See also== * [[Nut (fruit)]] * [[Nut butter]] ==External links== * {{wikipedia-inline}} * {{wiktionary-inline|hazelnut}} * {{Commons category-inline|Hazelnuts}} [[Category:Biology]] [[Category:Food and drink]] 7t0fap4854gmq5b86flixfcrtfi89ty 0 276484 3942066 3941989 2026-05-17T14:08:34Z En-cor-Zenodoti 3308631 Further quotes from Harbottle 3942066 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Bion of Smyrna|Bion]]''' ([[w:Ancient Greek|Greek]]: Βίων, ''Bíо̄n'') was an ancient Greek {{w|bucolic}} poet from {{w|Smyrna}}, probably active at the end of the second or beginning of the first century BC. He is named in the ''{{w|Suda}}'' as one of three canonical bucolic poets alongside [[Theocritus]] and [[Moschus]]. One long poem about {{w|Adonis}} and seventeen shorter fragments of his poetry survive. == Quotes == :<small>Greek text cited from C. Gallavotti, ''Theocritus quique feruntur Bucolici Graeci'' (Rome, ³1993), whose numbering is also followed.</small> === ''Lament for Adonis'' === * μηκέτι πορφυρέοις ἐνὶ φάρεσι Κύπρι κάθευδε·<br>ἔγρεο δειλαία κυανόστολε καὶ πλατάγησον<br>στήθεα καὶ λέγε πᾶσιν· ἀπώλετο καλὸς Ἄδωνις. ** Sleep no more, Cypris, beneath thy purple coverlet, but awake to thy misery; put on the sable robe and fall to beating thy breast, and tell it to the world, ''The beauteous Adonis іs dead.'' ** Lines 3–5 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/L028GreekBucolicPoetsTheocritusBionMoschus/page/387/mode/2up J. M. Edmonds, 1912]) === Fragments === * κρίνειν οὐκ ἐπέοικε θεήια ἔργα βροτοῖσι. ** Ill it seems that man should judge God's handiwork. ** Frg. 2.9 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/dictionaryofquot00harbiala/page/408/mode/2up T. B. Harbottle, 1897] * μολπὰν ταὶ Μοῖσαί μοι ἀεὶ ποθέοντι διδοῖεν,<br>τὰν γλυκερὰν μολπάν, τᾶς φάρμακον ἅδιον οὐδέν. ** May the Muses ever give me song at my desire, dear melodious song, the sweetest physic in the world. ** Frg. 3.2–3 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/L028GreekBucolicPoetsTheocritusBionMoschus/page/415/mode/2up J. M. Edmonds, 1912]) * ἐκ θαμινᾶς ῥαθάμιγγος, ὅπως λόγος, αἰὲς ἰοίσας<br>χἁ λίθος ἐς ῥωχμὸν κοιλαίνεται. ** The unceasing drip of water, as they say,<br>Will wear a channel in the hardest stone. ** Frg. 4 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/dictionaryofquot00harbiala/page/478/mode/2up T. B. Harbottle, 1897]) * ἦ λαθόμεσθ᾿ ἄρα πάντες, ὅτι θνατοὶ γενόμεσθα,<br>χὡς βραχὺν ἐκ Μοίρας λάχομες χρόνον. ** Methinks we all forget that we are mortal,<br>And that so short a span the Fates allot. ** Frg. 8.13–14 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/dictionaryofquot00harbiala/page/408/mode/2up T. B. Harbottle, 1897]) * οὐδ᾿ ἵνα νυκτὸς ὁδοιπορέοντας ἐνοχλέω,<br>ἀλλ᾿ ἐράω· καλὸν δέ τ᾿ ἐρασσαμένῳ συναρέσθαι. ** I be no thief nor highwayman—tis not for that I'm abroad at night—, but a lover; and lovers deserve all aid. ** Frg. 11.7–8 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/L028GreekBucolicPoetsTheocritusBionMoschus/page/413/mode/2up J. M. Edmonds, 1912]) *** Alternative translation ([https://archive.org/details/greeklyricpoetry0000barn/page/206/mode/2up W. Barnstone, 1967]): *** I am no thief, no highway man to plague a traveller at night.<br>A lover I am. And those in love must be helped. * ὄλβιοι οἱ φιλέοντες, ἐπὴν ἴσον ἀντεράωνται. ** Blessed are they who love, if they are loved in turn. ** Frg. 12.1 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/dictionaryofquot00harbiala/page/438/mode/2up T. B. Harbottle, 1897]) * μορφὰ θηλυτέραισι πέλει καλόν, ἀνέρι δ᾿ ἀλκά. ** Beauty's a woman glory, strength a man's. ** Frg. 15 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/dictionaryofquot00harbiala/page/422/mode/2up T. B. Harbottle, 1897]) * αὐτὰρ ἐγὼν βασεῦμαι ἐμὰν ὁδὸν ἐς τὸ κάταντες<br>τῆνο ποτὶ ψάμαθόν τε καὶ ἀιόνα ψιθυρίσδων,<br>λισσόμενος Γαλάτειαν ἀπηνέα· τὰς δὲ γλυκείας<br>ἐλπίδας ὑστατίῳ μέχρι γήραος οὐκ ἀπολειψῶ. ** . . . But I will go my way to yonder hillside, singing low to sand and shore my supplication of the cruel Galatea; for I will not give over my sweet hopes till I come unto uttermost old age . . . ** Frg. 16 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/L028GreekBucolicPoetsTheocritusBionMoschus/page/413/mode/2up J. M. Edmonds, 1912]) *** Alternative translation ([https://archive.org/details/greekpastoralpo00biongoog/page/n293/mode/2up M. J. Chapman, 1836]): *** I to the sandy shore and seaward slope<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;Will go, and try with murmured song to bend<br>The cruel Galatea: my sweet hope<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;I'll cast away—when life itself doth end. == External links == {{Wikipedia}} [[Category:Poets from Greece]] [[Category:BCE births]] [[Category:BCE deaths]] 1d8spt9716ylyov3ve2dfd0cd0hoy5o 3942073 3942066 2026-05-17T14:34:07Z En-cor-Zenodoti 3308631 /* Quotes */ Linking better IA scan for Edmonds (page handedness reversed in current scan) 3942073 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Bion of Smyrna|Bion]]''' ([[w:Ancient Greek|Greek]]: Βίων, ''Bíо̄n'') was an ancient Greek {{w|bucolic}} poet from {{w|Smyrna}}, probably active at the end of the second or beginning of the first century BC. He is named in the ''{{w|Suda}}'' as one of three canonical bucolic poets alongside [[Theocritus]] and [[Moschus]]. One long poem about {{w|Adonis}} and seventeen shorter fragments of his poetry survive. == Quotes == :<small>Greek text cited from C. Gallavotti, ''Theocritus quique feruntur Bucolici Graeci'' (Rome, ³1993), whose numbering is also followed.</small> === ''Lament for Adonis'' === * μηκέτι πορφυρέοις ἐνὶ φάρεσι Κύπρι κάθευδε·<br>ἔγρεο δειλαία κυανόστολε καὶ πλατάγησον<br>στήθεα καὶ λέγε πᾶσιν· ἀπώλετο καλὸς Ἄδωνις. ** Sleep no more, Cypris, beneath thy purple coverlet, but awake to thy misery; put on the sable robe and fall to beating thy breast, and tell it to the world, ''The beauteous Adonis іs dead.'' ** Lines 3–5 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/greekbucolicpo00theo/page/386/mode/2up J. M. Edmonds, 1912]) === Fragments === * κρίνειν οὐκ ἐπέοικε θεήια ἔργα βροτοῖσι. ** Ill it seems that man should judge God's handiwork. ** Frg. 2.9 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/dictionaryofquot00harbiala/page/408/mode/2up T. B. Harbottle, 1897] * μολπὰν ταὶ Μοῖσαί μοι ἀεὶ ποθέοντι διδοῖεν,<br>τὰν γλυκερὰν μολπάν, τᾶς φάρμακον ἅδιον οὐδέν. ** May the Muses ever give me song at my desire, dear melodious song, the sweetest physic in the world. ** Frg. 3.2–3 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/greekbucolicpo00theo/page/414/mode/2up J. M. Edmonds, 1912]) * ἐκ θαμινᾶς ῥαθάμιγγος, ὅπως λόγος, αἰὲς ἰοίσας<br>χἁ λίθος ἐς ῥωχμὸν κοιλαίνεται. ** The unceasing drip of water, as they say,<br>Will wear a channel in the hardest stone. ** Frg. 4 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/dictionaryofquot00harbiala/page/478/mode/2up T. B. Harbottle, 1897]) * ἦ λαθόμεσθ᾿ ἄρα πάντες, ὅτι θνατοὶ γενόμεσθα,<br>χὡς βραχὺν ἐκ Μοίρας λάχομες χρόνον. ** Methinks we all forget that we are mortal,<br>And that so short a span the Fates allot. ** Frg. 8.13–14 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/dictionaryofquot00harbiala/page/408/mode/2up T. B. Harbottle, 1897]) * οὐδ᾿ ἵνα νυκτὸς ὁδοιπορέοντας ἐνοχλέω,<br>ἀλλ᾿ ἐράω· καλὸν δέ τ᾿ ἐρασσαμένῳ συναρέσθαι. ** I be no thief nor highwayman—tis not for that I'm abroad at night—, but a lover; and lovers deserve all aid. ** Frg. 11.7–8 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/greekbucolicpo00theo/page/412/mode/2up J. M. Edmonds, 1912]) *** Alternative translation ([https://archive.org/details/greeklyricpoetry0000barn/page/206/mode/2up W. Barnstone, 1967]): *** I am no thief, no highway man to plague a traveller at night.<br>A lover I am. And those in love must be helped. * ὄλβιοι οἱ φιλέοντες, ἐπὴν ἴσον ἀντεράωνται. ** Blessed are they who love, if they are loved in turn. ** Frg. 12.1 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/dictionaryofquot00harbiala/page/438/mode/2up T. B. Harbottle, 1897]) * μορφὰ θηλυτέραισι πέλει καλόν, ἀνέρι δ᾿ ἀλκά. ** Beauty's a woman glory, strength a man's. ** Frg. 15 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/dictionaryofquot00harbiala/page/422/mode/2up T. B. Harbottle, 1897]) * αὐτὰρ ἐγὼν βασεῦμαι ἐμὰν ὁδὸν ἐς τὸ κάταντες<br>τῆνο ποτὶ ψάμαθόν τε καὶ ἀιόνα ψιθυρίσδων,<br>λισσόμενος Γαλάτειαν ἀπηνέα· τὰς δὲ γλυκείας<br>ἐλπίδας ὑστατίῳ μέχρι γήραος οὐκ ἀπολειψῶ. ** . . . But I will go my way to yonder hillside, singing low to sand and shore my supplication of the cruel Galatea; for I will not give over my sweet hopes till I come unto uttermost old age . . . ** Frg. 16 (tr. [https://archive.org/details/greekbucolicpo00theo/page/412/mode/2up J. M. Edmonds, 1912]) *** Alternative translation ([https://archive.org/details/greekpastoralpo00biongoog/page/n293/mode/2up M. J. Chapman, 1836]): *** I to the sandy shore and seaward slope<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;Will go, and try with murmured song to bend<br>The cruel Galatea: my sweet hope<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;I'll cast away—when life itself doth end. == External links == {{Wikipedia}} [[Category:Poets from Greece]] [[Category:BCE births]] [[Category:BCE deaths]] oodjvgfg5o2sfm0i0b9zi2j99k09dps 0 277293 3942122 3937960 2026-05-17T18:01:10Z En-cor-Zenodoti 3308631 /* 1. The Education of Children */ Adding parallel from Bion 3942122 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} [[File:Plutarch, De virtute et vitio, Venice, Gr. 248.jpg|thumb|]] The '''''{{w|Moralia}}''''' ({{w|Latin}} for "Morals", "Customs" or "Mores"; {{w|Ancient Greek}}: Ἠθικά, ''Ethiká'') is a set of essays ascribed to the 1st-century scholar [[Plutarch]] of Chaeronea. The eclectic collection contains 78 essays and transcribed speeches. They provide insights into Roman and Greek life, but they also include timeless observations. Many generations of Europeans have read or imitated them, including [[Michel de Montaigne]], Renaissance Humanists and Enlightenment philosophers. == Quotes == :<small>Greek text cited from C. Hubert, M. Pohlenz ''et al.'', ''Plutarchus. Moralia'', vols. I–VII (Stuttgart-Leipzig, 1929–1993).</small> === 1. ''The Education of Children'' === :<small>Περὶ παίδων ἀγωγῆς, ''De liberis educandis'' (1a–14c)</small> * σταγόνες μὲν γὰρ ὕδατος πέτρας κοιλαίνουσι. ** For water continually dropping will wear hard rocks hollow. ** 2d (Tr. Goodwin) *:<small>Compare [[Bion of Smyrna]], frg. 4 Galavotti (tr. [https://archive.org/details/dictionaryofquot00harbiala/page/478/mode/2up T. B. Harbottle, 1897]):<br>ἐκ θαμινᾶς ῥαθάμιγγος, ὅπως λόγος, αἰὲς ἰοίσας / χἁ λίθος ἐς ῥωχμὸν κοιλαίνεται.<br>The unceasing drip of water, as they say, / Will wear a channel in the hardest stone.</small> * οἱ παροιμιαζόμενοι δέ φασιν οὐκ ἀπὸ τρόπου λέγοντες, ὅτι 'ἂν χολῷ παροικήσῃς, ὑποσκάζειν μαθήσῃ'. ** It is a true proverb, that if you live with a lame man, you will learn to halt. ** 4a (Tr. Goodwin) * πηγὴ γὰρ καὶ ῥίζα καλοκαγαθίας τὸ νομίμου τυχεῖν παιδείας. ** For the very spring and root of honesty and virtue lies in the felicity of lighting on good education. ** 4b (Tr. Goodwin) * εὐγένεια καλὸν μέν, ἀλλὰ προγόνων ἀγαθόν. ** It is a desirable thing to be well descended; but the glory belongs to our ancestors. ** 5c (Tr. Goodwin) * κατὰ τὴν παροιμίαν 'χαλεπὰ τὰ καλά'. ** According to the proverb, the best things are the most difficult. ** 6c (Tr. Goodwin) * μονῳδία γὰρ ἐν ἅπασίν ἐστι πλήσμιον καὶ πρόσαντες, ἡ δὲ ποικιλία τερπνόν. ** To sing the same tune, as the saying is, is in everything cloying and offensive; but men are generally pleased with variety. ** 7b (Tr. Goodwin) * κἀκεῖνό φημι, δεῖν τοὺς παίδας ἐπὶ τὰ καλὰ τῶν ἐπιτηδευμάτων ἄγειν παραινέσεσι καὶ λόγοις, μὴ μὰ Δία πληγαῖς μηδ᾿ αἰκισμοῖς. ** I say now, that children are to be won to follow liberal studies by exhortations and rational motives, and on no account to be forced thereto by whipping. ** 8e–f (Tr. Goodwin) * ἡ ἀνάπαυσις τῶν πόνων ἐστὶν ἄρτυμα. ** Rest gives relish to labour. ** 9c (Tr. Babbitt) * οὐδὲν οὕτω πιαίνει τὸν ἵππον ὡς βασιλέως ὀφθαλμός. ** Nothing made the horse so fat as the king's eye. ** 9d (Tr. Goodwin) * 'λόγος γὰρ ἔργου σκιὴ' κατὰ Δημόκριτον. ** Democritus said, words are but the shadows of actions. ** 9f (Tr. Goodwin) * σοφὸν γὰρ εὔκαιρος σιγὴ καὶ παντὸς λόγου κρεῖττον. ** It is wise to be silent when occasion requires, and better than to speak, though never so well. ** 10e (Tr. Goodwin) * 'μὴ ἐσθίειν καρδίαν,' μὴ βλάπτειν τὴν ψυχὴν ταῖς φροντίσιν αὐτὴν κατατρύχοντα. ** ''Eat not thy heart''; which forbids to afflict our souls, and waste them with vexatious cares. ** 12e (Tr. Goodwin), quoting and interpreting {{w|Pythagoras}} * 'κυάμων ἀπέχεσθαι,' ὅτι οὐ δεῖ πολιτεύεσθαι· κυαμευταὶ γὰρ ἦσαν ἔμπροσθεν αἱ ψηφοφορίαι δι᾿ ὧν πέρας ἐπετίθεσαν ταῖς ἀρχαῖς. ** ''Abstain from beans''; that is, keep out of public offices, for anciently the choice of the officers of state was made by beans. ** 12e (Tr. Goodwin), quoting and interpreting Pythagoras * 'μὴ ἐπιστρέφεσθαι ἐπὶ τοὺς ὅρους ἐλθόντας,' τουτέστι μέλλοντας ἀποθνήσκειν καὶ τὸν ὅρον τοῦ βίου πλησίον ὄντα ὁρῶντας φέρειν εὐκόλως καὶ μὴ ἀθυμεῖν. ** ''When men are arrived at the goal, they should not turn back''; that is, those who are near the end of their days, and see the period of their lives approaching, ought to entertain it contentedly, and not to be grieved at it. ** 12f (Tr. Goodwin), quoting and interpreting Pythagoras * τὸ γὰρ 'τὴν κατὰ σαυτὸν ἔλα' σοφόν. ** 'Tis a wise saying, Drive on your own track. ** 13f (Tr. Goodwin) * στιγμὴ χρόνου πᾶς ἐστὶν ὁ βίος, [. . .] ζῆν οὐ παραζῆν ⟨σοι⟩ προσῆκε. ** The whole life of man is but a point of time; let us enjoy it, therefore, while it lasts, and not spend it to no purpose. ** 13a (Tr. Goodwin) * κρονόληρος καὶ σοροδαίμων ἐστί. * An old doting fool, with one foot already in the grave. ** 13b (Tr. Goodwin) === 2. ''How the Young Man Should Study Poetry'' === :<small>Πῶς δεῖ τὸν νέον ποιημάτων ἀκούειν, ''De audiendis poetis'' (14d–37b)</small> * Σωκράτης τοὐναντίον ἔλεγε, τοὺς μὲν φαύλους ζῆν ἕνεκα τοῦ ἐσθίειν καὶ πίνειν τοὺς δ᾿ ἀγαθοὺς ἐσθίειν καὶ πίνειν ἕνεκα τοῦ ζῆν. ** Socrates said, "Bad men live that they may eat and drink, whereas good men eat and drink that they may live." ** 21e (Tr. Goodwin) === 3. ''On Listening to Lectures'' === :<small>Περὶ τοῦ ἀκούειν, ''De audiendo'' (37c–48d)</small> * καὶ γὰρ τὸν Ἐπαμεινώνδαν ὁ Σπίνθαρος ἐπαινῶν ἔφη μήτε πλείονα γινώσκοντι μήτ᾿ ἐλάττονα φθεγγομένῳ ῥᾳδίως ἐντυχεῖν ἑτέρῳ. ** Spintharus, speaking in commendation of Epaminondas, says he scarce ever met with any man who knew more and spoke less. ** 39b (Tr. Goodwin) * τὸ μὲν γὰρ ἀντειπεῖν οὐ χαλεπὸν ἀλλὰ καὶ πάνυ ῥᾴδιον εἰρημένῳ λόγῳ· τὸ δ᾿ ἕτερον ἀνταναστῆναι βελτίονα παντάπασιν ἐργῶδες. ** It is a thing of no great difficulty to raise objections against another man's oration,—nay, it is a very easy matter; but to produce a better in its place is a work extremely troublesome. ** 40e (Tr. Goodwin) * οὐ γὰρ ὡς ἀγγεῖον ὁ νοῦς ἀποπληρώσεως ἀλλ᾿ ὑπεκκαύματος μόνον ὥσπερ ὕλη δεῖται, ὁρμὴν ἐμποιοῦντος εὑρετικὴν καὶ ὄρεξιν ἐπὶ τὴν ἀλήθειαν. ὥσπερ οὖν εἴ τις ἐκ γειτόνων πυρὸς δεόμενος, εἶτα πολὺ καὶ λαμπρὸν εὑρὼν αὐτοῦ καταμένοι διὰ τέλους θαλπόμενος, οὕτως εἴ τις ἥκων λόγου μεταλαβεῖν πρὸς ἄλλον οὐκ οἴεται δεῖν φῶς οἰκεῖον ἐξάπτειν καὶ νοῦν ἴδιον, ἀλλὰ χαίρων τῇ ἀκροάσει κάθηται θελγόμενος, οἷον ἔρευθος ἕλκει καὶ γάνωμα τὴν δόξαν ἀπὸ τῶν λόγων, τὸν δ᾿ ἐντὸς εὐρῶτα τῆς ψυχῆς καὶ ζόφον οὐκ ἐκτεθέρμαγκεν οὐδ᾿ ἐξέωκε διὰ φιλοσοφίας. ** The correct analogy for the mind is not a vessel that needs filling, but wood that needs igniting — no more — and then it motivates one towards originality and instills the desire for truth. Suppose someone were to go and ask his neighbors for fire and find a substantial blaze there, and just stay there continually warming himself: that is no different from someone who goes to someone else to get to some of his rationality, and fails to realize that he ought to ignite his own flame, his own intellect, but is happy to sit entranced by the lecture, and the words trigger only associative thinking and bring, as it were, only a flush to his cheeks and a glow to his limbs; but he has not dispelled or dispersed, in the warm light of philosophy, the internal dank gloom of his mind. ** 48c (Tr. Waterfield) === 5. ''How a Man May Become Aware of His Progress in Virtue'' === :<small>Πῶς ἄν τις αἴσθοιτο ἑαυτοῦ προκόπτοντος ἐπ᾿ ἀρετῇ, ''De profectibus in virtute'' (75a–86a)</small> * περὶ Διογένους ὅμοια τοῦ Σινωπέως ἱστοροῦσιν ἀρχομένου φιλοσοφεῖν, ὡς Ἀθηναίοις ἦν ἑορτὴ καὶ δεῖπνα δημοτελῆ καὶ θέατρα, καὶ συνουσίας μετ᾿ ἀλλήλων ἔχοντες ἐχρῶντο κώμοις καὶ παννυχίσιν, ὁ δ᾿ ἔν τινι γωνίᾳ τῆς ἀγορᾶς συνεσπειραμένος ὡς καθευδήσων ἐνέπιπτεν εἰς λογισμοὺς στρέφοντας αὐτὸν οὐκ ἀτρέμα καὶ θραύοντας, ὡς οὐδ᾿ ἀπὸ μιᾶς ἀνάγκης εἰς ἐπίτονον καὶ ἀλλόκοτον ἥκων βίον αὐτὸν ὑφ᾿ ἑαυτοῦ κάθηται τῶν ἀγαθῶν ἁπάντων ἐστερημένος. εἶτα μέντοι μῦν τινα προσερπύσαντα λέγεται περὶ τὰς ψίχας αὐτοῦ τῆς μάζης ἀναστρέφεσθαι, τὸν δ᾿ αὖθις ἀναφέρειν τῷ φρονήματι καὶ λέγειν πρὸς ἑαυτὸν οἷον ἐπιπλήττοντα καὶ κακίζοντα 'τί φῇς, ὦ Διόγενες; τοῦτον μὲν εὐωχεῖ τὰ σὰ λείμματα καὶ τρέφειν, σὺ δ᾿ ὁ γενναῖος ὅτι μὴ μεθύεις ἐκεῖ κατακείμενος ἐν ἀνθινοῖς καὶ ἁπαλοῖς στρώμασιν ὀδύρῃ καὶ θρηνεῖς σεαυτόν;' ὅταν οὖν οἱ τοιοῦτοι κατασπασμοὶ γένωνται μὴ πολλάκις, αἵ τε πρὸς αὐτοὺς ἐξερείσεις καὶ ἀνακρούσεις τοῦ φρονήματος ὥσπερ ἐκ στροφῆς ταχεῖαι παρῶσι καὶ διαλύωσι ῥᾳδίως τὸν ἄλυν καὶ τὴν ἀδημονίαν, ἔν τινι βεβαίῳ τὴν προκοπὴν εἶναι δεῖ νομίζειν. ** They relate of Diogenes of Sinope, when he began to be a philosopher, that the Athenians were celebrating a festival, and there were public banquets and shows and mutual festivities, and drinking and revelling all night, and he, coiled up in a corner of the market-place intending to sleep, fell into a train of thought likely seriously to turn him from his purpose and shake his resolution, for he reflected that he had adopted without any necessity a toilsome and unusual kind of life, and by his own fault sat there debarred of all the good things. At that moment, however, they say a mouse stole up and began to munch some of the crumbs of his barley-cake, and he plucked up his courage and said to himself, in a railing and chiding fashion, "What say you, Diogenes? Do your leavings give this mouse a sumptuous meal, while you, the gentleman, wail and lament because you are not getting drunk yonder and reclining on soft and luxurious couches?" Whenever such depressions of mind are not frequent, and the mind when they take place quickly recovers from them, after having put them to flight as it were, and when such annoyance and distraction is easily got rid of, then one may consider one's progress in virtue as a certainty. ** 77e–78a (Tr. Shilleto) * ὁ γὰρ Ἀντιφάνης ἔλεγε παίζων ἔν τινι πόλει τὰς φωνὰς εὐθὺς λεγομένας πήγνυσθαι διὰ ψῦχος, εἶθ᾿ ὕστερον ἀνιεμένων ἀκούειν θέρους ἃ τοῦ χειμῶνος διελέχθησαν. ** Antiphanes said merrily that in a certain city the cold was so intense that words were congealed as soon as spoken, but that after some time they thawed and became audible; so that the words spoken in winter articulated next summer. ** 79a (Tr. Goodwin) * Ὅταν οὖν οὕτως ἀρχώμεθα τῶν ἀγαθῶν ἐρᾶν, ὥστε μὴ μόνον κατὰ Πλάτωνα μακάριον μὲν αὐτὸν ἡγεῖσθαι τὸν σώφρονα, 'μακάριον δὲ τὸν ξυνήκοον τῶν ἐκ τοῦ σωφρονοῦντος στόματος ἰόντων λόγων', ἀλλὰ καὶ σχῆμα καὶ βάδισμα καὶ βλέμμα καὶ μειδίαμα θαυμάζοντες αὐτοῦ καὶ ἀγαπῶντες οἷοι συναρμόττειν καὶ συγκολλᾶν ὦμεν ἑαυτούς, τότε χρὴ νομίζειν ἀληθῶς προκόπτειν. ἔτι δὲ μᾶλλον, ἂν μὴ μόνον εὐημεροῦντας τοὺς ἀγαθοὺς θαυμάζωμεν, ἀλλ᾿ ὥσπερ οἱ ἐρῶντες καὶ τραυλότητας ἀσπάζονται τῶν ἐν ὥρᾳ καὶ ὠχρότητας, τῆς δὲ Πανθείας καὶ δάκρυα καὶ κατήφεια πενθούσης ἄρα καὶ κεκακωμένης ἐξέπληξε τὸν Ἀράσπην, οὕτως ἡμεῖς μήτε φυγὴν Ἀριστείδου μήτε εἱργμὸν Ἀναξαγόρου μήτε πενίαν Σωκράτους ἢ καταδίκην Φωκίωνος ὑποδειμαίνωμεν, ἀλλὰ καὶ μετα τούτων ἀξιέραστον ἡγούμενοι τὴν ἀρετὴν ὁμόσε χωρῶμεν αὐτῇ, τὸ Εὐριπίδειον ἐφ᾿ ἑκάστῳ φθεγγόμενοι 'φεῦ, τοῖσι γενναίοισιν ὡς ἅπαν καλόν'. ** Whenever we begin so much to love good men that we deem happy, "not only," as [[Plato]] says, "the temperate man himself, but also the man who hears the words that flow from his wise lips," and even admire and are pleased with his figure and walk and look and smile, and desire to adapt ourselves to his model and to stick closely to him, then may we think that we are making genuine progress. Still more will this be the case, if we admire the good not only in prosperity, but like lovers who admire even the lispings and paleness of those in their flower, as the tears and dejection of Panthea in her grief and affliction won the affections of Araspes, so we fear neither the exile of Aristides, nor the prison of Anaxagoras, nor the poverty of Socrates, nor the condemnation of Phocion, but think virtue worthy our love even under such trials, and join her, ever chanting that line of [[Euripides]], "Unto the noble everything is good." ** 84e–85a (Tr. Shilleto) * τὸν γὰρ ἄχρι τοῦ καὶ τὰ φαινόμενα δεινὰ μὴ δυσχεραίνειν ἀλλὰ θαυμάζειν καὶ ζηλοῦν ἐνθουσιασμὸν οὐκ ἂν ἔτι γε τῶν καλῶν οὐδεὶς ἀποτρέψειεν. ἤδη δὲ τοῖς τοιούτοις παρέπεται βαδίζουσιν ἐπὶ πράξεις τινὰς ἢ λαβοῦσιν ἀρχὴν ἢ χρησαμένοις τύχῃ τίθεσθαι πρὸ ὀφθαλμῶν τοὺς ὄντως ἀγαθοὺς γεγενημένους, καὶ διανοεῖσθαι 'τί δ᾿ ἂν ἔπραξεν ἐν τούτῳ Πλάτων, τί δ᾿ ἂν εἶπεν Ἐπαμεινώνδας, ποῖος δ᾿ ἂν ὤφθη Λυκοῦργος ἢ Ἀγησίλαος', οἷον πρὸς ἔσοπτρα κοσμοῦντας ἑαυτοὺς καὶ μεταρρυθμίζοντας, ἢ φωνῆς ἀγεννεστέρας αὑτῶν ἐπιλαμβανομένους ἢ πρός τι πάθος ἀντιβαίνοντας. ** For the enthusiasm that can go so far as not to be discouraged at the sure prospect of trouble, but admires and emulates what is good even so, could never be turned away from what is noble by anybody. Such men ever, whether they have some business to transact, or have taken upon them some office, or are in some critical conjuncture, put before their eyes the example of noble men, and consider what Plato would have done on the occasion, what Epaminondas would have said, how Lycurgus or Agesilaus would have dealt; that so, adjusting and re-modelling themselves, as it were, at their mirrors, they may correct any ignoble expression, and repress any ignoble passion. ** 85a–b (Tr. Shilleto) * ὥσπερ γὰρ οἱ τὸ πλουτήσειν ἀπεγνωκότες ἐν οὐδενὶ τίθενται τὰ μικρὰ δαπανήματα, μηθὲν οἰόμενοι ποιεῖν μέγα τὸ μικρῷ τινι προστιθέμενον. ** As those persons who despair of ever being rich make little account of small expenses, thinking that little added to a little will never make any great sum. ** 85e (Tr. Goodwin) === 6. ''How to Profit by One's Enemies'' === :<small>Πῶς ἄν τις ἀπ᾿ ἐχθρῶν ὠφελοῖτο, ''De capienda ex inimicis utilitate'' (86b–92f)</small> * τὸ τοῦ Σόλωνος ἔχειν ἀεὶ δεῖ πρόχειρον<br> 'ἀλλ᾿ ἡμεῖς αὐτοῖς οὐ διαμειψόμεθα<br>τῆς ἀρετῆς τὸν πλοῦτον'. ** Have in readiness this saying of Solon, "But we will not give up our virtue in exchange for their wealth." ** 92e (Tr. Goodwin) === 8. ''Chance'' === :<small>Περὶ τύχης, ''De fortuna'' (97c–100a)</small> * τί μεῖζον ἐλέφαντος ἢ φοβερώτερον ἰδεῖν; ἀλλὰ καὶ τοῦτο παίγνιον γέγονεν ἀνθρώπου καὶ θέαμα πανηγυρικόν, ὀρχήσεις τε μανθάνει καὶ χορείας καὶ προσκυνήσεις. ** What is bigger than an elephant? But this also is become man's plaything, and a spectacle at public solemnities; and it learns to skip, dance, and kneel. ** 98e (Tr. Goodwin) * ἀλλὰ γῆν μὲν οὐδεὶς ὕδατι δεύσας ἀφῆκεν, ὡς ἀπὸ τύχης καὶ αὐτομάτως πλίνθων ἐσομένων. ** No man ever wetted clay and then left it, as if there would be bricks by chance and fortune. ** 99d (Tr. Goodwin) === 11. ''Advice About Keeping Well'' === :<small>Ὑγιεινὰ παραγγέλματα, ''De tuenda sanitate praecepta'' (122b–137e)</small> * μεμνημένους ὅτι καθάπερ ὁ Σιμωνίδης ἔλεγε μηδέποτ᾿ αὐτῷ μεταμελῆσαι σιγήσαντι, φθεγξαμένῳ δὲ πολλάκις. * Remember what Simonides said,—that he never repented that he had held his tongue, but often that he had spoken. ** 125d (Tr. Goodwin) * τὸ ἔθος τρόπον τινὰ φύσις τοῦ παρὰ φύσιν γέγονεν. ** Custom is almost a second nature. ** 132a (Tr. Goodwin) * ὅπερ γάρ φασιν εἰπεῖν τὸν Ἐπαμεινώνδαν μετὰ παιδιᾶς, ἀνδρὸς ἀγαθοῦ περὶ τὰ Λευκτρικὰ νόσῳ τελευτήσαντος, 'ὦ Ἡράκλεις, πῶς ἐσχόλασεν ἁνὴρ ἀποθανεῖν ἐν τοσούτοις πράγμασι;' ** Epaminondas is reported wittily to have said of a good man that died about the time of the battle of Leuctra, "How came he to have so much leisure as to die, when there was so much stirring?" ** 136c (Tr. Goodwin) === 12. ''Advice to Bride and Groom'' === :<small>Γαμικὰ παραγγέλματα, ''Conjugalia praecepta'' (138a–146a)</small> * πᾶσα γυνὴ τοῦ λύχνου ἀρθέντος ἡ αὐτή ἐστι. ** When the candles are out, all women are alike. ** 144e (Tr. Goodwin) === 14. ''Superstition'' === :<small>Περὶ δεισιδαιμονίας, ''De superstitione'' (164e–171e)</small> * τοῖς ἐγρηγόρσιν ἕνα καὶ κοινὸν κόσμον εἶναι, τῶν δὲ κοιμωμένων ἕκαστον εἰς ἴδιον ἀποστρέφεσθαι. ** All men whilst they are awake are in one common world; but each of them, when he is asleep, is in a world of his own. ** 166c (Tr. Addison); [[Heraclitus]], fragment 89 DK (= 24 Marcovich) * ἐγὼ γοῦν ἂν ἐθέλοιμι μᾶλλον τοὺς ἀνθρώπους λέγειν περὶ ἐμοῦ μήτε γεγονέναι τὸ παράπαν μήτ᾿ εἶναι Πλούταρχον ἢ λέγειν ὅτι 'Πλούταρχός ἐστιν ἄνθρωπος ἀβέβαιος εὐμετάβοολος, εὐχερὴς πρὸς ὀργήν, ἐπὶ τοῖς τυχοῦσι τιμωρητικός, μικρόλυπος'. ** I, for my own part, had much rather people should say of me that there neither is nor ever was such a man as Plutarch, than that they should say, "Plutarch is an unsteady, fickle, froward, vindictive, and touchy fellow." ** 169e–170a (Tr. Goodwin) === 15. ''Sayings of Kings and Commanders'' === :<small>Βασιλέων ἀποφθέγματα καὶ στρατηγῶν, ''Regum et imperatorum apophthegmata'' (172a–208a)</small> * Ἑρμοδότου δ᾿ αὐτὸν ἐν τοῖς ποιήμασιν Ἡλίου παῖδα γράψαντος 'οὐ ταῦτά μοι' ἔφη 'σύνοιδεν ὁ λασανοφόρος.' * When Hermodotus in his poems described Antigonus as the son of Helios, "My valet-de-chambre," said he, "is not aware of this." ** 182b–c (Tr. Goodwin) === 16. ''Sayings of Spartans'' === :<small>Λακωνικὰ ἀποφθέγματα, ''Apophthegmata Laconica'' (208a–242d)</small> * κατ᾿ ἐπιδημίαν τις ἐν Σπάρτῃ κρηπιδούμενος ὀρθὸς ἐπὶ θατέρου σκέλους εἶπε πρὸς Λακεδαίμονα 'οὐκ ἂν οἶμαί σε, ὦ Λάκων, τοσοῦτον χρόνον ἐπὶ τοῦ ποδὸς ὅσον ἐγὼ στῆναι.' καὶ ὃς ὑπολαβών 'οὐ γάρ' ἔφη· 'τῶν μέντοι χηνῶν οὐκ ἔστιν ὅστις οὔ.' ** A traveller at Sparta, standing long upon one leg, said to a Lacedaemonian, "I do not believe you can do as much." "True," said he, "but every goose can." ** 233b (Tr. Goodwin) === 21. ''On the Fortune or the Virtue of Alexander'' === :<small>Περὶ τῆς Ἀλεξάνδρου τύχης ἢ ἀρετῆς, ''De Alexandri Magni fortuna aut virtute'' (326d–345b)</small> * ἀπὸ τούτων κρινέσθω καὶ Ἀλέξανδρος· ὀφθήσεται γὰρ οἷς εἶπεν οἷς ἔπραξεν οἷς ἐπαίδευσε φιλόσοφος. ** By these criteria let Alexander also be judged! For from his words, from his deeds, and from the instruction' which he imparted, it will be seen that he was indeed a philosopher. ** 328b (Tr. Babbitt) * Ἀλέξανδρος δ᾿ ὑπὲρ ἑβδομήκοντα πόλεις βαρβάροις ἔθνεσιν ἐγκτίσας καὶ κατασπείρας τὴν Ἀσίαν Ἑλληνικοῖς τέλεσι. ** Alexander established more than seventy cities among savage tribes, and sowed all Asia with Greek magistracies. ** 328e (Tr. Babbitt) * πολλάκις αὐτοῦ μνημονεύων λέγειν 'εἰ μὴ Ἀλέξανδρος ἤμην, Διογένης ἂν ἤμην'. ** Alexander was wont to say, "Were I not Alexander, I would be Diogenes." ** 331f (Tr. Goodwin) * εἰ μὴ τὰ βαρβαρικὰ τοῖς Ἑλληνικοῖς κεράσαι διενοούμην καὶ πᾶσαν ἤπειρον ἐπιὼν ἐξημερῶσαι, καὶ πέρατα γῆς ἀνερευνῶν καὶ θαλάττης ὠκεανῷ προσερεῖσαι Μακεδονίαν, καὶ τὴν Ἑλλάδα σπεῖραι καὶ καταχέασθαι γένους παντὸς εὐδικίαν καὶ εἰρήνην, οὐκ ἂν ἐν ἀπράκτῳ τρυφῶν ἐξουσίᾳ καθήμην, ἀλλ᾿ ἐζήλουν ἂν τὴν Διογένους εὐτέλειαν. νῦν δὲ σύγγνωθι, Διόγενες, Ἡρακλέα μιμοῦμαι καὶ Περσέα ζηλῶ, καὶ τὰ Διονύσου μετιὼν ἴχνη, θεοῦ γενάρχου καὶ προπάτορος, βούλομαι πάλιν ἐν Ἰνδίᾳ νικῶντας Ἕλληνας ἐγχορεῦσαι καὶ τοὺς ὑπὲρ Καύκασον ὀρείους καὶ ἀγρίους τῶν βακχικῶν κώμων ἀναμνῆσαι. ** If it were not my purpose to combine foreign things with things Greek, to traverse and civilize every continent, to search out the uttermost parts of land and sea, to push the bounds of Macedonia to the farthest Ocean, and to disseminate and shower the blessings of Greek justice and peace over every nation, I should not content to sit quietly in the luxury of idle power, but I should emulate the frugality of Diogenes. But as things are, forgive me Diogenes, that I imitate Heracles, and emulate Perseus, and follow in the footsteps of Dionysus, the divine author and progenitor of my family, and desire that victorious Greeks should dance again in India and revive the memory of the Bacchic revels among the savage mountain tribes beyond the Caucasus. ** 332a–b (Tr. Babbitt) * τίς οὖν οὐκ ἂν εἴποι τότε [. . .] θεατής, ὅτι [. . .] τὸ μὲν βάρβαρον παρ᾿ ἀξίαν ἐπικρατεῖ διὰ Τύχην, τὸ δ᾿ Ἑλληνικὸν ἀντέχει παρὰ δύναμιν δι᾿ Ἀρετὴν, κἂν μὲν ἐκεῖνοι περιγένωνται, Τύχης, καὶ δαίμονος φθονεροῦ καὶ νεμέσεως ἔσται τὸ ἔργον· ἂν δ᾿ οὗτοι κρατήσωσιν, Ἀρετὴ καὶ τόλμα καὶ φιλία καὶ πίστις ἐξοίσεται τὸ νικητήριον; ** What spectator [. . .] would not exclaim [. . .] that through Fortune the foreign host was prevailing beyond its deserts, but through Virtue the Hellenes were holding out beyond their ability? And if the enemy gains the upper hand, this will be the work of Fortune or of some jealous deity or of divine retribution; but if the the Greeks prevail, it will be Virtue and daring, friendship and fidelity, that will win the guerdon of victory? ** 344e (Tr. Babbitt) === 22. ''Were the Athenians More Famous in War or in Wisdom?'' === :<small>Πότερον Ἀθηναῖοι κατὰ πόλεμον ἢ κατὰ σοφίαν ἐνδοξότεροι, ''De gloria Athenensium'' (345c–351b)</small> * ὁ Σιμωνίδης τὴν μὲν ζωγραφίαν ποίησιν σιωπῶσαν προσαγορεύει, τὴν δὲ ποίησιν ζωγραφίαν λαλοῦσαν. ** Simonides calls painting silent poetry, and poetry speaking painting. ** 346f (Tr. Goodwin) === 23. ''On Isis and Osiris'' === :<small>Περὶ Ἴσιδος καὶ Ὀσίριδος, ''De Iside et Osiride'' (351c–384c)</small> * ἐγώ εἰμι πᾶν τὸ γεγονὸς καὶ ὂν καὶ ἐσόμενον καὶ τὸν ἐμὸν πέπλον οὐδείς πω θνητὸς ἀπεκάλυψεν. * I am whatever was, or is, or will be; and my veil no mortal ever took up. ** 354c (Tr. Goodwin); inscription on a shrine of {{w|Neith}} (confused with {{w|Isis}} by Plutarch) in [[w:Sais, Egypt|Sais]] === 26. ''The Obsolesence of Oracles'' === :<small>Περὶ τῶν ἐκλελοιπότων χρηστηρίων, ''De defectu oraculorum'' (409e–438d)</small> * ἀπάγγειλον ὅτι Πὰν ὁ μέγας τέθνηκε. ** Make it known that the great God Pan is dead. ** 419c (Tr. Goodwin) === 30. ''On Tranquility of Mind'' === :<small>Περὶ εὐθυμίας, ''De tranquilitate animi'' (464e–477f)</small> * Ἀλέξανδρος Ἀναξάρχου περὶ κόσμων ἀπειρίας ἀκούων ἐδάκρυε, καὶ τῶν φίλων ἐρωτώντων ὅ τι πέπονθεν, 'οὐκ ἄξιον' ἔφη 'δακρύειν, εἰ κόσμων ὄντων ἀπείρων ἑνὸς οὐδέπω κύριοι γεγόναμεν;' * Alexander wept when he heard from Anaxarchus that there was an infinite number of worlds; and his friends asking him if any accident had befallen him, he returns this answer: "Do you not think it a matter worthy of lamentation that when there is such a vast multitude of them, we have not yet conquered one?" ** 466d (Tr. Goodwin) * ὥσπερ ὁ τῆς κυνὸς ἁμαρτὼν τῷ λίθῳ καὶ τὴν μητρυιὰν πατάξας 'οὐδ᾿ οὕτως' ἔφη 'κακῶς'. ** Like the man who threw a stone at a bitch, but hit his step-mother, on which he exclaimed, "Not so bad!" ** 467c (Tr. Goodwin) * ὁ γοῦν Πιττακὸς ἐκεῖνος [. . .] εἱστία ξένους· ἐπελθοῦσα δ᾿ ἡ γυνὴ μετ᾿ ὀργῆς ἀνέτρεψε τὴν τράπεζαν· τῶν δὲ ξένων διατραπέντων 'ἑκάστῳ τι' ἔφη 'ἡμῶν κακὸν ἔστιν· ᾧ δὲ τοὐμόν, ἄριστα πράττει.' * When the renowned Pittacus [. . .] was entertaining his friends at a noble banquet, and his spouse in an angry humor came and overturned the table; his guests being extremely disturbed at it, he told them: Every one of you hath his particular plague, and my wife is mine; and he is very happy who hath this only. ** 471b (Tr. Goodwin) * ἄνθρωπον ὄντα, 'ζῷον φύσει εὐμετάβολον' ὡς ὁ Πλάτων εἶπεν. ** He was a man, which, as Plato saith, is a very inconstant creature. ** 474e (Tr. Goodwin) * κυβερνήτῃ γὰρ οὔτε κῦμα πραῧναι τραχὺ καὶ πνεῦμα δυνατόν ἐστιν. ** The pilot cannot mitigate the billows or calm the winds. ** 475d (Tr. Goodwin) === 35. ''Concerning Talkativeness'' === :<small>Περὶ ἀδολεσχίας, ''De garrulitate'' (502a–515a)</small> * νήπιος, ὃς τὰ ἑτοῖμα λιπὼν ἀνέτοιμα διώκει. ** He is a fool who leaves things close at hand<br>To follow what is out of reach. ** 505d (Tr. Babbitt); quoting [[Hesiod]], ''{{w|Catalogue of Women}}'', fragment 61 Merkelbach-West === 36. ''On Being a Busybody'' === :<small>Περὶ πολυπραγμοσύνης, ''De curiositate'' (515a–523b)</small> * τὸ 'οἴμοι, τὸ κακὸν τῆς εὐτυχίας<br>ὡς μᾶλλον ἐς οὖς φέρεται θνητῶν.' ** That proverbial saying, "Ill news goes quick and far." ** 518a (Tr. Goodwin) === 37. ''On Love of Wealth'' === :<small>Περὶ φιλοπλουτίας, ''De cupiditate divitiarum'' (523c–528b)</small> * Σκόπαν τὸν Θεσσαλὸν [. . .], ὃς αἰτηθείς τι τῶν κατὰ τὴν οἰκίαν ὡς περιττὸν αὐτῷ καὶ ἄχρηστον 'ἀλλὰ μήν' ἔφη 'τούτοις ἐσμὲν ἡμεῖς εὐδαίμονες καὶ μακάριοι τοῖς περιττοῖς, ἀλλ᾿ οὐκ ἐκείνοις τοῖς ἀναγκαίοις.' ** [. . .] Scopas of Thessaly, who, when one begged somewhat of him he had in his house, as a superfluous thing he had no use for, made answer, "But we rich men count our felicity and happiness to lie in these superfluities, and not in those necessary things." ** 527c (Tr. Goodwin) === 38. ''On Compliancy'' === :<small>Περὶ δυσωπίας, ''De vitioso pudore'' (528c–536d)</small> * Ξενοφάνης Λάσου τοῦ Ἑρμιονέως μὴ βουλόμενον αὐτῷ συγκυβεύειν δειλὸν ἀποκαλοῦντος ὁμολόγει καὶ πάνυ δειλὸς εἶναι πρὸς τὰ αἰσχρὰ καὶ ἄτολμος. ** Xenophanes, when Lasus of Hermione called him coward because he refused to play at dice: Yes, said he, I confess myself the greatest coward in the world, for I dare not do an ill thing. ** 530f (Tr. Goodwin) * ὁ μὲν γὰρ εἰπών, ὅτι πάντες οἱ τὴν Ἀσίαν κατοικοῦντες ἑνὶ δουλεύουσιν ἀνθρώπῳ διὰ τὸ μὴ δύνασθαι μίαν εἰπεῖν τὴν 'οὐ' συλλαβήν. ** One made this observation of the people of Asia, that they were all slaves to one man, merely because they could not pronounce that syllable No. ** 532e (Tr. Goodwin) * 'τὴν γὰρ σιωπὴν' ὁ μὲν Εὐριπίδης φησὶ 'τοῖς σοφοῖς ἀπόκρισιν' εἶναι. ** Euripides was wont to say, "Silence is an answer to a wise man." ** 532e–f (Tr. Goodwin) * ὁ μὲν γὰρ εἰπὼν 'ποτὶ πονηρὸν οὐκ ἄχρηστον ὅπλον ἁ πονηρία' κακῶς ἐθίζει μιμούμενον ἀμύνεσθαι τὴν κακίαν. ** He that first started that doctrine, that knavery is the best defence against a knave, was but an ill teacher, advising us to commit wickedness to secure ourselves. ** 534a (Tr. Goodwin); [[Zeno of Citium|Zeno]], SVF I 313, citing [[Epicharmus]] === 41. ''On the Delays of the Divine Vengeance'' === :<small>Περὶ τῶν ὑπὸ τοῦ θείου βραδέως τιμωρουμένων, ''De sera numinis vindicta'' (548a–568a)</small> * οὐθὲν γὰρ οὕτω χρέος ὡς τὸ τῆς δίκης ὑπερήμερον. ** There is no debt with so much prejudice put off as that of justice. ** 548d (Tr. Goodwin) * ἡ δ᾿ ἀτρέμα καὶ 'βραδεῖ ποδί' κατ᾿ Εὐριπίδην καὶ ὡς ἔτυχεν ἐπιπίπτουσα Δίκη τοῖς πονηροῖς τῷ αὐτομάτῳ μᾶλλον ἢ τῷ κατὰ πρόνοιαν ὅμοιον ἔχει τὸ πεπλανημένον καὶ ὑπερήμερον καὶ ἄτακτον. ὥστ᾿ οὐχ ὁρῶ, τί χρήσιμον ἔνεστι τοῖς ὀψὲ δὴ τούτοις ἀλεῖν λεγομένοις μύλοις τῶν θεῶν καὶ ποιοῦσι τὴν δίκην ἀμαυρὰν καὶ τὸν φόβον ἐξίτηλον τῆς κακίας. ** That remiss and slow-paced justice (as Euripides describes it) that falls upon the wicked by accident, by reason of its uncertainty, ill-timed delay, and disorderly motion, seems rather to resemble chance than providence. So that I cannot conceive what benefit there is in these millstones of the Gods which are said to grind so late, as thereby celestial punishment is obscured, and the awe of evil doing rendered vain and despicable. ** 549d (Tr. Goodwin) * πρὸς φυσικὴν πάθους ἀνάγκην ἀντιβῆναι παγχάλεπόν ἐστιν. ** It is a difficult thing for a man to resist the natural necessity of mortal passions. ** 555e (Tr. Goodwin) === 44. ''On Exile'' === :<small>Περὶ φυγῆς, ''De exilio'' (599a–607f)</small> * ὁ δὲ Σωκράτης [. . .] οὐκ Ἀθηναῖος οὐδ᾿ Ἕλλην ἀλλὰ κόσμιος εἶναι φήσας. ** Socrates [. . .] said he was not an Athenian or a Greek, but a citizen of the world. ** 600f (Tr. Goodwin) === 46. ''Table-Talk'' === :<small>Συμποσιακά, ''Quaestiones convivales'' (612c–748d)</small> * ἐκεῖνος [. . .] ἐν ἰχθύσιν ἐγγενέσθαι τὸ πρῶτον ἀνθρώπους ἀποφαίνεται καὶ τραφέντας ὥσπερ οἱ γαλεοὶ καὶ γενομένους ἱκανοὺς ἑαυτοῖς βοηθεῖν ἐκβῆναι τηνικαῦτα καὶ γῆς λαβέσθαι. ** For he [Anaximander] says [. . .] that men were first produced in fishes, and, when they were grown up and able to help themselves, were thrown out, and so lived upon the land. ** 730e (Tr. Goodwin) * Ἀθηνόδωρον, [. . .] ἱστοροῦντα πρῶτον ἐν τοῖς κατ᾿ Ἀσκληπιάδην χρόνοις [. . .] τὴν ὑδροφόβαν ἐκφανῆ γενέσθαι. ** Athenodorus [. . .] says that [. . .] the hydrophobia or water-dread [. . . was] first discovered in the time of Asclepiades. ** 731a (Tr. Goodwin) * μὴ θαυμάζωμεν, ἂν γένηταί τι τῶν οὐ πρότερον ὄντων, ⟨μηδ᾿ εἴ τι τῶν πρότερον ὄντων⟩ ὕστερον ἐκλέλοιπεν. ** Let us not wonder if something happens which never was before, or if something doth not appear among us with which the ancients were acquainted. ** 733d (Tr. Goodwin) === 51. ''Whether an Old Man Should Engage in Public Affairs'' === :<small>Εἰ πρεσβυτέρῳ πολιτευτέον, ''An seni sit gerenda res publica'' (783a–797f)</small> * ἄκουσμα μὲν γὰρ ἔστω μηδὲν ἥδιον ἐπαίνου κατὰ τὸν Ξενοφῶντα. ** Xenophon says that there is no sound more pleasing than one's own praises. ** 786e (Tr. Goodwin); referencing [[Xenophon]], ''Memorabilia'', II.1.31 or ''Hiero'', 1.14. * Λάμπις ὁ ναύκληρος ἐρωτηθεὶς πῶς ἐκτήσατο τὸν πλοῦτον 'ού χαλεπῶς' ἔφη 'τὸν μέγαν, τὸν δὲ βραχὺν ἐπιπόνως καὶ βραδέως'. ** Lampis, the sea commander, being asked how he got his wealth, answered, "My greatest estate I gained easily enough, but the smaller slowly and with much labour." ** 787a (Tr. Goodwin) * τὸν δὲ στρατηγὸν 'ἅμα πρόσω καὶ ὀπίσω' τῶν πραγμάτων ὁρῶντα. ** The general himself ought to be such a one as can at the same time see both forward and backward. ** 788d (Tr. Goodwin) === 52. ''Precepts of Statecraft'' === :<small>Πολιτικὰ παραγγέλματα, ''Praecepta gerendae reipublicae'' (798a–825f)</small> * οὐ γὰρ ὧν λέγουσιν ἐν κοινῷ καὶ πράττουσιν οἱ πολιτευόμενοι μόνον εὐθύνας διδόασιν, ἀλλὰ καὶ δεῖπνον αὐτῶν πολυπραγμονεῖται καὶ κοίτη καὶ γάμος καὶ παιδιὰ καὶ σπουδὴ πᾶσα. ** Statesmen are not only liable to give an account of what they say or do in public, but there is a busy inquiry made into their very meals, beds, marriages, and every other sportive or serious action. ** 800c–d (Tr. Goodwin) * ὁ Βυζάντιος Λέων ἧκε δή ποτε τοῖς Ἀθηναίοις στασιάζουσι διαλεξόμενος· ὀφθεὶς δὲ μικρὸς καὶ γελασθείς 'τί δ᾿' εἶπεν 'εἰ τὴν γυναῖκά μου θεάσαισθε μόλις ἐξικνουμένην πρὸς τὸ γόνυ;' [. . .] 'ἀλλ᾿ ἡμᾶς' ἔφη 'μικροὺς οὕτως ὄντας, ὅταν διαφερώμεθα πρὸς ἀλλήλους, ἡ Βυζαντίων πόλις οὐ χωρεῖ.' ** Leo Byzantius came to make an harangue to the Athenians, being then at discussion amongst themselves; by whom when he perceived himself to be laughed at for the littleness of his stature, What would you do, said he, if you saw my wife, who scarce reaches up to my knees? [. . .] Yet, went he on, as little as we are, when we fall out with one another, the city of Byzantium is not big enough to hold us. ** 804a–b (Tr. Goodwin) * ὁ δὲ Κάτων, ἤδη τότε τῆς Ῥώμης καταπιπλαμένης ἀνδριάντων, οὐκ ἐῶν αὑτοῦ γενέσθαι 'μᾶλλον' ἔφη 'βούλομαι πυνθάνεσθαί τινας, διὰ τί μου ἀνδριὰς οὐ κεῖται ἢ διὰ τί κεῖται'. ** And Cato, when Rome was in a manner filled with statues, would not suffer his to be erected, saying, I had rather men should ask why my statue is not set up, than why it is. ** 820b (Tr. Goodwin) === 55. ''Lives of the Ten Orators'' === :<small>Βίοι τῶν δέκα ῥητόρων, ''Vitae decem oratorum'' (832b–852e)</small> * ἐρομένου αὐτόν ⟨τινος⟩ τί πρῶτον ἐν ῥητορικῇ, εἶπεν 'ὑπόκρισις'· καὶ τί δεύτερον 'ὑπόκρισις'· καὶ τί τρίτον 'ὑπόκρισις'. ** When Demosthenes was asked what was the first part of oratory, he answered, "Action;" and which was the second, he replied, "Action;" and which was the third, he still answered, "Action." ** 845b (Tr. Goodwin) === 59. ''Causes of Natural Phenomena'' === :<small>Αἴτια φυσικά, ''Aeta physica'' (911c–919e)</small> * Διὰ τί τῆς θαλάττης ἐλαίῳ καταρραινομένης γίνεται καταφάνεια καὶ γαλήνη; Πότερον [. . .] τὸ πνεῦμα τῆς λειότητος ἀπολισθαῖνον οὐ ποιεῖ πληγὴν οὐδὲ σάλον; ** Why does pouring oil on the sea make it clear and calm? Is it for that the winds, slipping the smooth oil, have no force, nor cause any waves? ** 914f (Tr. Goodwin) === 63. ''Whether Land or Sea Animals Are Cleverer'' === :<small>Πότερα τῶν ζῴων φρονιμώτερα, τὰ χερσαῖα ἢ τὰ ἐνύδρια, ''De sollertia animalium'' (959a–985c)</small> * μὴ παντάπασι καθαρεύειν ἀδικίας τὸν ἄνθρωπον οὕτω τὰ ζῷα μεταχειριζόμενον Ἐμπεδοκλῆς καὶ Ἡράκλειτος ὡς ἀληθὲς προσδέχονται. ** Both Empedocles and Heraclitus held it for a truth that man could not be altogether cleared from injustice in dealing with beasts as he now does. ** 964d (Tr. Goodwin) * ὁ Βίων ἔλεγε τὰ παιδάρια παίζοντα τῶν βατράχων τοῖς λίθοις ἐφίεσθαι, τοὺς δὲ βατράχους μηκέτι παίζοντας ἀλλ᾿ ἀληθῶς ἀποθνήσκειν. ** It was the saying of Bion, that though the boys throw stones at frogs in sport, yet the frogs do not die in sport but in earnest. ** 965a–b (Tr. Goodwin) === 65. ''On the Eating of Flesh'' === :<small>Περὶ σαρκοφαγίας, ''De esu carnium'' (993a–999b)</small> * ἀλλὰ σὺ μὲν ἐρωτᾷς τίνι λόγῳ Πυθαγόρας ἀπείχετο σαρκοφαγίας, ἐγὼ δὲ θαυμάζω καὶ τίνι πάθει καὶ ποίᾳ ψυχῇ ὁ πρῶτος ἄνθρωπος ἥψατο φόνου στόματι καὶ τεθνηκότος ζῴου χείλεσι προσήψατο σαρκὸς καὶ νεκρῶν σωμάτων καὶ ἑώλων προθέμενος τραπέζας ὄψα καὶ τρυφὰς προσέτι εἶπεν τὰ μικρὸν ἔμπροσθεν βρυχώμενα μέρη καὶ φθεγγόμενα καὶ κινούμενα καὶ βλέποντα· πῶς ἡ ὄψις ὑπέμεινε τὸν φόνον σφαζομένων δερομένων διαμελιζομένων, πῶς ἡ ὄσφρησις ἤνεγκε τὴν ἀποφοράν, πῶς τὴν γεῦσιν οὐκ ἀπέστρεψεν ὁ μολυσμὸς ἑλκῶν ψαύουσαν ἀλλοτρίων καὶ τραυμάτων θανασίμων χυμοὺς καὶ ἰχῶρας ἀπολαμβάνουσαν. ** You ask of me then for what reason it was that Pythagoras abstained from eating of flesh. I for my part do much admire in what humor, with what soul or reason, the first man with his mouth touched slaughter, and reached to his lips the flesh of a dead animal, and having set before people courses of ghastly corpses and ghosts, could give those parts the names of meat and victuals, that but a little before lowed, cried, moved, and saw; how his sight could endure the blood of slaughtered, flayed, and mangled bodies; how his smell could bear their scent; and how the very nastiness happened not to offend the taste, while it chewed the sores of others, and participated of the saps and juices of deadly wounds. ** 993a–b (Tr. Goodwin) * οὐκ αἰδεῖσθε τοὺς ἡμέρους καρποὺς αἵματι καὶ φόνῳ μιγνύοντες; ἀλλὰ δράκοντας ἀγρίους καλεῖτε καὶ παρδάλεις καὶ λέοντας, αὐτοὶ δὲ μιαιφονεῖτ᾿ εἰς ὠμότητα καταλιπόντες ἐκείνοις οὐδέν· ἐκείνοις μὲν γὰρ ὁ φόνος τροφή, ὑμῖν δ᾿ ὄψον ἐστίν. ** Are you not ashamed to mix tame fruits with blood and slaughter? You are indeed wont to call serpents, leopards, and lions savage creatures; but yet yourselves are defiled with blood, and come nothing behind them in cruelty. What they kill is their ordinary nourishment, but what you kill is your better fare. ** 994a–b (Tr. Goodwin) * σαρκιδίου μικροῦ χάριν ἀφαιρούμεθα ψυχήν, ἡλίου φῶς, τὸν τοῦ βίου χρόνον, ἐφ᾿ ἃ γέγονε καὶ πέφυκεν. εἶθ᾿ ἃς φθέγγεται καὶ διατρίζει φωνὰς ἀνάρθρους εἶναι δοκοῦμεν, οὐ παραιτήσεις καὶ δεήσεις καὶ δικαιολογίας ἑκάστου. ** For the sake of some little mouthful of flesh, we deprive a soul of the sun and light, and of that proportion of life and time it had been born into the world to enjoy. And then we fancy that the voices it utters and screams forth to us are nothing else but certain inarticulate sounds and noises, and not the several deprecations, entreaties, and pleadings of each of them. ** 994e (Tr. Goodwin) * μᾶλλον, ὡς ἔοικε, τῶν παρὰ συνήθειαν ἢ τῶν παρὰ φύσιν αἰσθανόμεθα. ** We are more sensible of what is done against custom than against Nature. ** 996b (Tr. Goodwin) * ποῖον οὖν οὐ πολυτελὲς δεῖπνον, εἰς ὃ θανατοῦταί τι ἔμψυχον; [. . .] αἰσθήσεώς γε μετέχουσαν, ὄψεως ἀκοῆς, φαντασίας συνέσεως, ἣν ἐπὶ κτήσει τοῦ οἰκείου καὶ φυγῇ τοῦ ἀλλοτρίου παρὰ τῆς φύσεως ἕκαστον εἴληχε. ** For what sort of dinner is not costly for which a living creature loses its life? [. . .] It does, at least, possess some perception, hearing, seeing, imagination, intelligence, which last every creature receives from Nature to enable it to acquire what is proper for it and to evade what is not. ** 997d–e (Tr. H. Cherniss, W. C. Helmbold, 1957) * τὸ πρῶτον ἄγριόν τι ζῷον ἐβρώθη καὶ κακοῦργον, εἶτ᾿ ὄρνις τις ἢ ἰχθὺς εἵλκυστο· καὶ γευσάμενον οὕτω καὶ προμελετῆσαν ἐν ἐκείνοις τὸ φονικὸν ἐπὶ βοῦν ἐργάτην ἦλθε καὶ τὸ κοσμοῦν πρόβατον καὶ τὸν οἰκουρὸν ἀλεκτρυόνα· καὶ κατὰ μικρὸν οὕτω τὴν ἀπληστίαν στομώσαντες ἐπὶ σφαγὰς ἀνθρώπων καὶ πολέμους καὶ φόνους προῆλθον. ** In the beginning, some wild and mischievous beast was killed and eaten, and then some little bird or fish was entrapped. And the love of slaughter, being first experimented and exercised in these, at last passed even to the laboring ox, and the sheep that clothes us, and to the poor cock that keeps the house; until by little and little, unsatiableness being strengthened by use, men came to the slaughter of men, to bloodshed and wars. ** 998b–c (Tr. Goodwin); cp. [[Montaigne]], II, 11, Of Cruelty === 67. ''Platonic Questions'' === :<small>Πλατωνικὰ ζητήματα, ''Platonicae quaestiones'' (999c–1011e)</small> * καθάπερ Μένανδρος 'ὁ νοῦς γὰρ ἡμῶν ὁ θεός' καὶ Ἡράκλειτος 'ἦθος ἀνθρώπῳ δαίμων'. ** As [[Menander]] says, "For our mind is God;" and as [[Heraclitus]], "Man's genius is a deity." ** 999d (Tr. Goodwin) * ὅ τε Πυθαγόρας, ἐρωτηθεὶς τί χρόνος ἐστί, τὴν τοῦ ὅλου ψυχὴν εἰπεῖν. ** Pythagoras, when he was asked what time was, answered that it was the soul of this world. ** 1007b (Tr. Goodwin) === 73. ''That Epicurus Actually Makes a Pleasant Life Impossible'' === :<small>Ὅτι οὐδ᾿ ἡδέως ζῆν ἔστιν κατ᾿ Ἐπίκουρον, ''Non posse suaviter vivi secundum Epicurum'' (1086c–1107c)</small> * Ἀρχιμήδην [. . .] λουόμενος ὥς φασιν ἐκ τῆς ὑπερχύσεως ἐννοήσας τὴν τοῦ στεφάνου μέτρησιν οἷον ἔκ τινος κατοχῆς ἢ ἐπιπνοίας ἐξήλατο βοῶν 'εὕρηκα'. ** And Archimedes, as he was washing, thought of a manner of computing the proportion of gold in King Hiero's crown by seeing the water flowing over the bathing-stool. He leaped up as one possessed or inspired, crying, "I have found it! Eureka!" ** 1094b–c (Tr. Goodwin) === 74. ''Reply to Colotes in Defence of the Other Philosophers'' === :<small>Πρὸς Κωλώτην, ''Adversus Colotem'' (1107d–1127e)</small> * τὸ μὲν γὰρ ἁμαρτάνειν περὶ δόξαν, εἰ καὶ μὴ σοφῶν, ὅμως ἀνθρώπινόν ἐστι. ** To err in opinion, though it be not the part of wise men, is at least human. ** 1125f (Tr. Goodwin) === 75. ''Is "Live Unknown" a Wise Precept?'' === :<small>Εἰ καλῶς εἴρηται τὸ λάθε βιώσας, ''De latenter vivendo'' (1128a–1130e)</small> * ὡς γὰρ ἐκεῖνοι, πρὸς τὴν πρύμναν ἀφορῶντες τῆς νεὼς τῇ κατὰ πρῷραν ὁρμῇ συνεργοῦσιν. ** Like watermen, who look astern while they row the boat ahead. ** 1128b–c (Tr. Goodwin) {{Misattributed begin}} == Misattributed == * For a man's felicity consists not in the outward and visible favours and blessings of Fortune, but in the inward and unseen perfections and riches of the mind. ** Appears after ''The Dinner of the Seven Wise Men'' 155b in [https://archive.org/details/plutarchsmorals02plut/page/20/mode/2up Goodwin 1878]; it is an elaboration added by the translator, and does not occur in the Greek. * Hesiod might as well have kept his breath to cool his pottage. ** Appears in ''The Dinner of the Seven Wise Men'' 157f in [https://archive.org/details/plutarchsmorals02plut/page/26/mode/2up Goodwin 1878], where the Greek instead cites ''Works and Days'' 45–46: *** πῶς οὖν ἐῶμεν τῷ Ἡσιόδῳ τὸ 'πηδάλιον ὑπὲρ καπνοῦ' κείμενον<br>'ἔργα βοῶν τ᾿ ἀπόλοιτο καὶ ἡμιόνων ταλαεργῶν',<br>εἰ τοσαύτης δεήσει παρασκευῆς; *** How, then, can we concede to Hesiod his<br>''Rudder on high in the smoke''<br>suspended, and<br>''All the labours of oxen and stout-toiling mules be abolished,''<br>if there is to be need of all this preparation? (tr. F. C. Babbit, 1928) {{Misattributed end}} == External links == {{Wikipedia}} {{Wikisource}} {{Commons|Category:Moralia}} * Several Hands, ''Plutarch's Morals'' (1684–1694), revised by [[w:William Watson Goodwin|W. W. Goodwin]], vols. [https://archive.org/details/b24886105_0001/page/n3/mode/2up 1] (1870); [https://archive.org/details/plutarchsmorals03plut/page/n5/mode/2up 3] (1878); [https://oll.libertyfund.org/titles/goodwin-the-morals-vol-5 5] (1878) * [[Joseph Addison]], in ''The Spectator'', [https://archive.org/details/bim_eighteenth-century_the-spectator-vol-vi_1715_7/page/76/mode/2up vol. 7, no. 487] (1713), p. 77 * {{w|Arthur Richard Shilleto}}, [https://archive.org/details/plutarchsmorals00unkngoog/page/n6/mode/2up ''Plutarch's Morals: Ethical Essays''] (1888) * {{w|Frank Cole Babbitt}} ''et al.'', ''Plutarch's Moralia'', [[w:Loeb Classical Library|LCL]], 16 vols. (1922–1956) * Robin Waterfield, [https://archive.org/details/essays-plutarch/Essays%20-%20Plutarch/page/50/mode/2up?q=%22correct+analogy+for+the+mind+is+not+a+vessel%22 ''Plutarch: Essays''], {{w|Penguin Classics}} (1992), p. 50 * John Bartlett, ''[[w:Bartlett's Familiar Quotations|Familiar Quotations]]'', rev. N. H. Dole, 10th ed. (1919), [https://www.bartleby.com/lit-hub/familiar-quotations/page-908 p. 908] * [https://www.attalus.org/info/moralia.html "Plutarch: Moralia"], ''Attalus.org'' (accessed 9 August 2024) [[Category:Ancient Greece]] [[Category:Essays]] 0jkghkmi4mbbh7kelid18p9law9x7j5 0 279974 3942258 3941573 2026-05-18T08:21:58Z ~2026-16389-61 3302453 /* "Season Four Finale / Assassination Run" [4.08] */ 3942258 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} ---- :'''Season''' [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 1|1]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 2|2]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 3|3]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 4|4]] [[The Boys (TV series)/Season 5|5]] [[The Boys (TV series)|Main]] ---- '''''[[w:The Boys (TV series)|The Boys]]''''' is an American superhero television series developed by Eric Kripke for [[w:Amazon Prime Video|Amazon Prime Video]]. Based on the comic book of the same name by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson, it follows the eponymous team of vigilantes as they combat superpowered individuals who abuse their abilities. ===''"Department of Dirty Tricks"'' [4.01]=== :'''Butcher''': Listen, Ryan, I got a lot to say and fuck-all time to say it. I got a lorry out back. I can get you out of here. :'''Ryan''': What are you talking about? :'''Butcher''': I know you're angry with me, and you got every right to be. But you know how dangerous Homelander is. :'''Ryan''': He's my dad. :'''Butcher''': Ryan, he–he murdered some poor sod right in front of your eyes! :'''Ryan''': But that guy was a pedophile. :'''Butcher''': Ryan, it ain't true. He's lyin' to ya. Let me take ya to Grace, alright? And then you don't gotta see me no more... Please, son. I'm beggin' ya. It's what your Mum would want. :'''Homelander''': ''[walking into the room]'' "No" means "no", William. This isn't the [[w:Neverland Ranch|Neverland Ranch]]. Don't worry. Nothing bad's gonna happen, right? ''[pause]'' Oh... Seems it already has. Look at that big, black mass curdling around your brain. What do you got, six months? Less? It's too bad, we're not gonna have that last dance together. I'll miss us. :'''Butcher''': Bloody hell, you wank to your own voice, don't ya? :'''Homelander''': That's the spirit, champ. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Hughie is left behind as the Boys rescue Frenchie and Kimiko from being killed by Neuman's daughter, Zoe, who is revealed to be a Supe]'' :'''Hughie''': Thank Christ. Can we go now? ''[recoils in shock when he sees Neuman]'' Jesus! :'''Neuman''': Hey, Hughie. :'''Hughie''': Hey. :'''Neuman''': You gotta teach Butcher the meaning of the word "covert". He just got made by a 12-year-old. :'''Hughie''': You mean Zoe, who just murdered two guys? Vic, you–you shot your own daughter up with V? How could you do that to her? :'''Neuman''': I needed to keep her safe. :'''Hughie''': Safe? You turned her into a fucking monster. Like you. :'''Neuman''': I'm sorry. That sounds like the pot calling the kettle a teleporting dude with his dick out. :'''Hughie''': Worst mistake I ever made. ''[pause]'' Vic, you and me, we were… We were like family. I mean… Was everything just... bullshit? :'''Neuman''': I almost told you once. That night of the blackout, you remember? You brought every bodega snack you could carry for Zoe. We played Uno with her for hours until the lights came back on. And I thought… you were one of my closest friends. I mean, hell, you're dating a Supe. If anyone would understand, it'd be you, right? :'''Hughie''': Why didn't you tell me? :'''Neuman''': I was scared. :'''Hughie''': Scared you'd have to pop my head. :'''Neuman''': I was scared to lose you. ''[Hughie sighs]'' I always cared about you, Hughie. That part was real. :'''Hughie''': Hey, Vicky… Fuck you! :''[Hughie splashes acid onto Neuman, which only manages to burn a hole in her business suit]'' :'''Neuman''': Seriously? ''[scoffs]'' I have to be on TV in, like, ten minutes, you fuckin' asshole! :'''Hughie''': We're gonna out you! We're gonna go to the press, tell them you blew up Congress! I still–I still got the Red River files! :'''Neuman''': Okay, okay, okay. Have you ever seen ''[[w:WarGames|WarGames]]?'' What am I saying, look at you. Of course you've seen fucking ''WarGames.'' :'''Hughie''': We're making jokes? :'''Neuman''': Mutually assured destruction. I hurt you, you out me. You out me, I kill everyone you've ever loved. The only thing that makes sense is a truce. :''[Butcher sneaks up to Neuman's right with a gun aimed at her]'' :'''Butcher''': Or Plan B. :''[He shoots Neuman in the head. Hughie ducks for cover as the bullet bounces off Neuman and ricochets off the walls inside the van.]'' :'''Hughie''': Jesus, fuck! :'''Neuman''': ''[groans]'' How is it you guys are actually getting worse at your jobs? ''[hears her phone chime and checks it]'' Mmm. They just called Arizona. Guess I better go change. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Joe Kessler''': Billy Butcher. :'''Butcher''': Joe Kessler. Fuck me, how long's it been? :'''Kessler''': I'd say eleven years, but officially speaking, none of that shit show ever happened. :'''Butcher''': Then how come I remember you high on opium, rimmin' out the General's wife? :'''Kessler''': Well, fuck you. ''[laughs along with Butcher and hugs him]'' Hey, let me buy you a bad cup of coffee. :''[Cut to Butcher and Kessler sitting in a break room]'' :'''Kessler''': Demoted from your own fucking team. What's your shitty code name again? :'''Butcher''': The Boys. :'''Kessler''': Oof. Who came up with that shit? Why you putting up with it? Walk away. :'''Butcher''': No, my son, I've got plans and schemes. I'll be back at the head of the table in no time. :'''Kessler''': Well, you better. You know, a lot of the guys are thinking you got benched at the worst possible time. You know, Mallory's so focused on killing the VP-elect 'cause that's what Singer wants, and half of goddamn Langley's on it. :'''Butcher''': Well, you know Grace. She's always been a bit of a political animal. :'''Kessler''': And what are you focused on? :'''Butcher''': Homelander. He killed that poor cunt in broad daylight, and they fuckin' cheered. I mean, what d'you think that taught him, eh? No. We're whistlin' away towards a fuckin' apocalypse, and Grace's eye ain't on the ball. :'''Kessler''': You had a clean shot at him, right? With Soldier Boy? You didn't take it. Was your eye on the ball? :'''Butcher''': Why do I get the feeling we ain't just bumped into each other? :'''Kessler''': You remember the Panjshir Valley? :'''Butcher''': Yeah. Pretty hard to forget. :'''Kessler''': You dragged me out of there and dropped how many bodies to do it, without giving it a second fucking thought. :'''Butcher''': And yet you still didn't name your son after me, eh? :'''Kessler''': We need someone like you, Billy. Right fucking now. Before the Supes start rounding us up and dumping us off in camps. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Ashley''': ''[to Homelander]'' Sir, after [[w:Gen V season 1|that debacle at Godolkin]]–thank you again for saving my life–the board felt we should find new candidates for The Seven, ASAP. The selection committee has narrowed it down to 25 choices. :''[Ashley switches to a Supe leaderboard on the monitor. Homelander has his back turned towards her.]'' :'''Ashley''': Um… Okay, great. If we're going purely on socials, I might suggest Talon out of Redlands. :'''The Deep''': Pass. She's a butterface. Her body's on point, but her face... :'''Ashley''': Yeah, I get it. Thank you so much for explaining. ''[under her breath]'' Chauvinist prick. ''[looks at Hyperion's profile]'' Ugh, not that slutty cum rag. :''[She clicks on the profile of a male Supe named Dogknott]'' :'''A-Train''': Hold up, I thought he ate a dog. :'''The Deep''': He ate out a dog. ''[A-Train and Ashley give concerned looks]'' It's a big difference. :''[Ashley clicks on the next profile, which shows…]'' :'''A-Train''': Sister Sage? Hell no. She was with me in Teenage Kix for, like, barely a year before they canned her ass. :'''The Deep''': What's her power? :'''A-Train''': She's the world's smartest person. She's not smart enough to know when to shut her mouth. ''[looks at the profile of a white male Supe named…]'' Wrangler. Isn't he a– :'''Ashley''': Texas nutjob. The San Antonio office had to cover up those migrant murders. :'''Homelander''': I kinda like him. :'''Ashley''': Of course, he bumps us with suburban women and white men over 50. Amazing choice, sir. :'''The Deep''': Yeah, I totally agree. He's a mensch. Did I use that word right? Mensch? :'''Homelander''': ''[to Ashley]'' You just said he was crazy. :'''Ashley''': What I meant was we would be crazy to, you know, not bring him in. :'''Homelander''': ''[beat; groans]'' I am surrounded by sycophants and fucking imbeciles! :'''The Deep''': It's just that you make a lot of really great points, sir. :'''Homelander''': Deep, just… ''[beat; turns chair around to face The Deep]'' Blow A-Train. :'''The Deep''': What? :'''Homelander''': I'm not kidding. Go over there, pull out A-Train's cock and blow him. :''[The Deep just scoffs before reluctantly getting up from his chair to stand next to A-Train]'' :'''Homelander''': ''[to A-Train]'' Get up. :''[A-Train stands up and faces The Deep, who kneels down to eye level with A-Train's crotch. Ashley is surprisingly turned on and grins.]'' :'''The Deep''': ''[chuckles; to A-Train]'' Sex is just a spectrum, right, bro? :'''Homelander''': Get off your fucking knees! :''[The Deep quickly gets up and returns to his seat]'' :'''Homelander''': This is exactly what I'm talking about. Not one of you has the stomach to challenge anything I say. ''[gets up and starts walking out of the conference room]'' Oh, my God. I have gotta carry this entire fucking company on my shoulders. :'''Ashley''': You're... right? :''[Homelander stops for a moment, then sighs and leaves]'' :'''The Deep''': ''[notices A-Train staring at him]'' I wasn't gonna do it. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Homelander arrives at the apartment of Sister Sage, one of the top Supes Ashley is hoping to recruit into The Seven. Sage opens the door and sees him in casual attire.]'' :'''Sister Sage''': I am almost never surprised. :'''Homelander''': May I come in? :''[Sage lets Homelander inside. He stares at the books piled and scattered all around her living room.]'' :'''Homelander''': Sister Sage… :'''Sister Sage''': Just Sage. :'''Homelander''': Right. :'''Sister Sage''': Vought added the "Sister" part. Can't have one of us without a racial qualifier. ''[Homelander chuckles]'' Never seen you without the suit. Why incognito? :'''Homelander''': You know, I would've thought the smartest woman on Earth would have a nicer place. :'''Sister Sage''': Smartest person. And that person's too smart to give a fuck about Pottery Barn. :'''Homelander''': Okay. Preach, sister. Well, um… You're so smart, show me. ''[pause; Sage looks at him, perplexed]'' Show me. :'''Sister Sage''': Based on your public appearances, your stylist is dying your hair more often. Used to be every month, now it's every 2.4 weeks. Did she tell you you're going gray, or is she hiding it? ''[Homelander just scoffs]'' So between that and your enlarged prostate– :'''Homelander''': My fucking ''what?'' :'''Sister Sage''': Look at your hands. You've been washing them more often, so likely you've been peeing more often, which makes sense. You got a lot of power, but you do age. Plus, there's that small matter your own father almost killed you. :'''Homelander''': ''[smiles and chuckles]'' Wow. :'''Sister Sage''': Any mouth breather could see you're going through some existential midlife… whatever. :'''Homelander''': That's pretty ballsy for someone whose power is a party trick. :'''Sister Sage''': You are welcome to laser me, but I'm guessing you need me and my party trick for something. :'''Homelander''': Hmm… I need advice. From someone on my level. Of course, if you breathe a word of this, I'll pull you apart bit by bit. :'''Sister Sage''': Naturally. :'''Homelander''': God, I've spent my life scaling to the peak of Vought. It's all I ever wanted. And now that I have it– :'''Sister Sage''': You're still not happy? :'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' I save people, they cheer. I fucking kill people, they cheer. It's–It's meaningless. Humans are nothing; they're–they're less than nothing. They're just toys for my amusement. And yet they control everything. It's unnatural. What kind of legacy am I gonna leave to my son? A shithole country in a shithole world, or something better? Something... pure and cleansed. Like marble. :'''Sister Sage''': You do realize that probably won't make you happy either. :'''Homelander''': Still. Tell me how you'd go about it. Hypothetically. :'''Sister Sage''': Rome, Greece–all democracies–they fail because people are fucking stupid. You don't need an army of supermen like Nazi Bae wanted. So German. If you crush the masses, who builds your monuments? Who tongues your taint? No. The people will tear it apart themselves; just gotta nudge 'em a little. Then, you get to swoop in, be the one saving it. :'''Homelander''': Like Caesar. :'''Sister Sage''': Like Caesar. Statistically, it's inevitable. :'''Homelander''': ''[beat; walks to Sage's front door]'' I'd like you to join The Seven. :'''Sister Sage''': No fucking way. :'''Homelander''': Why not? :'''Sister Sage''': Because I'm not wearing some vaguely racist supersuit in front of a bunch of clapping seals. Plus, I'm a black woman who is a thousand times smarter than you. Your ego can't handle it. :'''Homelander''': I'm pretty smart myself. :'''Sister Sage''': See what I mean? :'''Homelander''': Smart enough to listen. I mean, ''really'' listen to you. ''[Sage sighs]'' You can stay here, reeking of Taco Bell and loneliness, or we can put some of your theories into practice on a global scale. When's the last time you got a chance like that? <hr width="50%"/> :''[The Seven, accompanied by Sister Sage, are with three HomeTeamer supporters waiting to meet Homelander. One of the supporters is Monique's ex-boyfriend, Todd.]'' :'''A-Train''': Sage, it's good to see you again. ''[quietly]'' What the fuck are you doing here? :'''Sister Sage''': Homelander's tired of being surrounded by morons. :'''Homelander''': ''[walking into the room]'' Hello, everyone. :'''Todd''': Homelander! I just wanna say, it's a huge honor to be here with you… :'''Homelander''': Right. Now, I can't stay long, but I heard that you are some of my biggest fans, supporting me when others turned their backs. I just wanted to personally say… Thank you for your devotion. And your sacrifice. :'''Todd''': W... Well, really, it's you who gives so much to… :'''Homelander''': ''[holds up finger to silence Todd]'' You people are more than just fans. You're martyrs to the greatest cause on Earth. ''[to The Deep]'' Open it. :'''The Deep''': You got it. ''[reaches into a duffle bag and pulls out three baseball bats]'' Whoa. Bats. :'''Homelander''': Yeah. I want you to take these bats and beat these gentlemen to death. :''[The Seven all glance nervously at the HomeTeamers, who look at each other fearfully]'' :'''Todd''': ''[beat; laughing]'' You're funny. :'''The Deep''': Oh, it's like one of your tests. You want us to say no. :'''Homelander''': No, Deep. This is not a test. ''[hands a bat each to A-Train and Black Noir II]'' I want you to beat these gentlemen to death... ''now.'' :'''Todd''': I think maybe we should go. :''[Black Noir II bashes the head of a HomeTeamer who attempts to leave]'' :'''Todd''': Oh, Jesus! :'''Homelander''': ''[to Black Noir II, who holds up his bloody bat]'' Mm-hmm. :''[Todd watches The Deep beat the other HomeTeamer to death with a bat. Black Noir II repeatedly swings at the body of the HomeTeamer he just killed. A-Train looks on with disapproval while Homelander leaves.]'' :'''Todd''': Jesus! :''[A-Train runs towards the door and stands in Todd's way, allowing Black Noir II to sneak up from behind and fatally bash Todd in the back of the head with his bat.]'' :'''Sister Sage''': Stay here. Wait for further instructions. ''[exits the room]'' :'''Black Noir II''': ''[beat]'' Yo, what the fuck?! That was ''so'' fucked up, you guys! ===''"Life Among the Septics"'' [4.02]=== :''[Butcher has just informed the Boys he has six months to live]'' :'''Hughie''': Jesus. You're just telling us now? Have you seen any specialists? Have you… :''[Kimiko walks into the Boys' office]'' :'''Mother's Milk''': How long you got? :'''Butcher''': It's none of your fuckin' business. I'm not sure why I'm tellin' you at all. :'''Kimiko''': ''[signing to Frenchie]'' What's going on? :''[Frenchie makes a throat-slitting gesture]'' :'''Butcher''': Let's just say I got an angel on my shoulder. And she's a right bloody nag. :'''Annie''': Butcher, I tried to warn you that that shit was poison! :'''Butcher''': You ain't one of us. :'''Hughie''': Hey! :'''Mother's Milk''': Alright! ''[to Butcher]'' A word. :''[M.M. opens the door and leads Butcher out of the Boys' office into a hallway]'' :'''Mother's Milk''': You're done. :'''Butcher''': Yeah, what? :'''Mother's Milk''': Fired. Grab your shit and get the fuck out. :'''Butcher''': I level with you lot and this is the thanks I get. Fuck me. See what bein' honest gets ya? :'''Mother's Milk''': Honest? Motherfucker, you've been lying to us for the last six months! :'''Butcher''': Not tellin' ain't lyin'. Look, you need all the help you can get, mate. :'''Mother's Milk''': Not from you. You're a liability, Butcher. :'''Butcher''': I ain't gonna let this stand, then. The Boys is mine. :'''Mother's Milk''': Says a dying man with one last bluff. Now grab your shit and get the fuck out. Or I'll throw you out. :''[M.M. hears the floor creaking, turns his head and sees Hughie standing by the door]'' :'''Hughie''': Just– :'''Mother's Milk''': I don't wanna hear it. He's out. You can join him if you don't like it. <hr width="50%"/> :''[The Vought marketing team pitches Ryan's new Supe identity]'' :'''Evan''': Small-town kid grows up on a Montana ranch with his mom. On the surface, he's an everyday all-American boy. :'''Seth''': But deep in his heart, he knows he's different, special. He's always asking himself, "Who am I?" Then one day, that question is answered when Homelander flies down from the sky and says, with tears in his eyes… :'''Homelander''': No tears. :'''Seth''': …and says proudly, ''[Homelander mouths along with Seth and grins]'' "Son, it's time for you to take your place by my side". :'''Evan''': And for Ryan it feels surprising, yet inevitable. He always knew he was destined for greatness. :'''Seth''': Because he came from greatness! :''[Seth unveils a poster of Ryan wearing a supersuit that looks identical to Homelander's with the Supe name, Homeboy]'' :'''Homelander''': Oooh! ''[chuckles and claps]'' Wow. ''[to Ryan]'' Oh, buddy, can you believe that? Wh–What do you think? :'''Ryan''': It's cool… I guess. :'''Homelander''': You guess? ''[chuckles]'' Uh… I think it looks amazing. :'''Ashley''': Oh, so amazing. Really marketable. :'''Also Ashley''': So marketable. :'''Sister Sage''': The whole pitch blows. :'''Ashley''': It... does not blow. :'''Sister Sage''': It blows, harder than [[w:Nancy Reagan|Nancy Reagan]] on [[w:MGM Grand Las Vegas|the MGM backlot]]. :'''Ashley''': I'm sorry, why are you here? :'''Sister Sage''': Vought got rid of most of the sidekicks after Gunpowder. The settlements exceeded profitability. :'''Homelander''': Yeah, but I don't think Ryan is gonna file an HR complaint against me. ''[laughs with the rest of the marketing team]'' :'''Ryan''': What? :'''Sister Sage''': Ryan is the first natural-born superhero, and his brand needs to reflect that. He's not one of Vought's lab rat freaks. He was chosen by fate, God, whatever… to be the one who saves the world. :'''Homelander''': Yes. But let's not forget why he is special, shall we? He's my son. Chosen by God, sure, but uh… made by me. :'''Sister Sage''': The chosen one narrative only works if he stands alone. [[w:Harry Potter|Harry Potter]], [[w:Neo (The Matrix)|Neo]], [[w:Luke Skywalker|Luke Skywalker]]. Hollywood's trained people to fall in love with [[w:lone cowboy|white boy lone saviors]]. So, America will want to fall in love with Ryan. :''[Sage hands Ryan her iPad, which shows a crime itinerary document]'' :'''Ryan''': What is this? :'''Homelander''': It's a crime itinerary. Your first save. Congratulations, son. ''[whispering to Sage]'' I'm not on the call sheet. :'''Sister Sage''': You wanted a kingdom for your son. I'm helping you get it. :'''Homelander''': ''[beat]'' Excellent. Just as we discussed. Feel free to move forward. :'''Sister Sage''': Thanks. ''[pulls out cell phone; to Homelander]'' Ah, if you don't mind? ''[takes a quick selfie with Homelander; to Ashley]'' I'm here because Homelander wants me here. Because he trusts me. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Ashley''': ''[enters elevator with Sage]'' Listen. I know you're the smartest woman on Earth– :'''Sister Sage''': Smartest person. :'''Ashley''': Let me give you some advice. You know, girls supporting girls. You cannot talk to Homelander like that. :'''Sister Sage''': I'm telling him the truth. You're so afraid of him, you've plucked yourself bald. If I were you, I'd make myself useful. You know, get some lactation going, let him suck on those titties before you end up like Madelyn Stillwell. :''[The Deep gets in the elevator when the doors open]'' :'''The Deep''': Oh, Ashley, hey. What's up? Just the girl boss I wanted to see. I've been looking everywhere for you. Hey, so I heard that Ryan's doing his first solo save. I wanna talk to you about something. I have this idea. ''[clears throat]'' Okay, so what if–and just hear me out on this–what if I was there? That's it. That's the pitch. :'''Ashley''': Hmm. You wanna join a family-friendly PG save? While [[w:PETA|PETA]] still has you on their bestiality watchlist? ''[smiling]'' I swear to God. Stupid people who think they're smart make me want to eat my own shit! :''[Ashley walks out the elevator, leaving Sage alone with The Deep]'' :'''Sister Sage''': Why do you let her talk to you like that? :'''The Deep''': She's just a bitch. It's probably that time of the month. It's like a full moon thing, isn't it? :'''Sister Sage''': You're a genetically superior being, and she's the evolutionary equivalent of a capybara. :'''The Deep''': Cappuccino... ? :'''Sister Sage''': It's a giant rodent from South America. :'''The Deep''': Oh. :'''Sister Sage''': You're better than her. Act like it. ''[pause; elevator doors open]'' And you should be at the save. It's a good idea. ''[walks out of elevator]'' :'''The Deep''': Thank you. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Sister Sage meets a conspiracy theorist Supe named Firecracker at a TruthCon convention]'' :'''Sister Sage''': Do you actually believe all of this? Or is it just bullshit smeared on top of a personal vendetta? :'''Firecracker''': Ain't you a little mouthy one. :'''Sister Sage''': Appreciate the subtextual racism there, but I'm a Supe. Sister Sage. I work with Homelander. :'''Firecracker''': Bullshit. ''[Sage shows her the selfie she took with Homelander]'' Goddamn! Is he here?! :'''Sister Sage''': Of course not. He wouldn't be caught dead with these [[w:Appalachian stereotypes|ringworm-infested cousin fuckers]]. Though there's a chance you could meet him. First, I wanna see your powers though. :''[Firecracker snaps her fingers, causing small sparks to fly from her fingertips]'' :'''Sister Sage''': Wow, that is... lackluster. :'''Firecracker''': I'm… strong too, though. :'''Sister Sage''': Look, what's important is… what are you selling? :''[Butcher and M.M. are revealed to be eavesdropping on them from a distance]'' :'''Firecracker''': I'm here to share the truth and nothing but. :'''Sister Sage''': ''What are you selling?'' :'''Firecracker''': Did I stutter? ''[pause; scoffs when Sage is about to leave]'' Purpose. I sell purpose. These people got nothing. Maybe they lost a job or a house or a kid to Oxy. Politicians don't give a shit. Mainstream media tells them to be ashamed of their skin color, so I bring them together, tell them a story, give them a purpose. Which would you rather believe? That you belong to a community of warriors battling a secret evil, or that you're a lonely, inconsequential nobody that no one will ever remember? :'''Sister Sage''': ''[chuckles]'' Deep's Blue Sea Room. 9:00 p.m. :''[Butcher and M.M. remove their earpieces and walk off once Sage is out of sight]'' :'''Butcher''': Sage has got no powers, right? :'''Mother's Milk''': Besides her brains? Nope. :'''Butcher''': So, why all the sneakin' around shite? Let's just grab her, work her over and rumble what we need. :'''Mother's Milk''': Hey. This is surveillance only, okay? :'''Butcher''': Alright, you sit tight and watch me do your job. :'''Mother's Milk''': Alright, enough. :''[M.M. grabs Butcher by the neck and drags him outside]'' :'''Butcher''': Get your fuckin' hands off me! :'''Mother's Milk''': Just go home, alright? :'''Butcher''': Or what? We have a Barney?! Well, come on, then! Have a go! :'''Mother's Milk''': Butcher, for fuck's sake. :'''Butcher''': You've been gaggin' for it. Ever since Soldier Boy. Ten pounds of C4 with an inch fuse pokin' out your arse, you are! Well, c'mon, then! Have at it, son! :'''Mother's Milk''': 'Cause that's the only way you feel any regret, is to get it beaten into you. :'''Butcher''': You're a shit skipper, you are. Hughie's fucked off, Kimiko's hammered. We've been here for hours and still know fuck all! You're gonna get this bloody lot killed. You can't eat, you can't sleep, and you ain't willin' to do what it takes to run this mob 'cause you ain't got the bollocks, son. :'''Mother's Milk''': Nice try, Butcher. But it ain't gonna work. :'''Butcher''': Yeah, ain't that what your wife said? :''[M.M. punches Butcher in the face. Butcher just smiles and allows M.M. to continue punching him until he falls to the ground.]'' :'''Mother's Milk''': All that bullshit you pulled, and the mess you always leave behind for me to clean up. You know why I kept coming back? 'Cause I thought maybe this time, it'll be a little different. All the fucking shit we've been through together, man. I thought maybe this time, maybe you and I could just… just be fucking brothers again! ''[pause]'' Just go home, man. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Homelander finds Ryan crying into a pillow after his first save results in the accidental death of a Vought stuntman]'' :'''Homelander''': Who wants a creamy, delicious milkshake? Hmm? ''[pause; Ryan continues crying]'' Oh, Ryan… Okay, come on. Come on. It's okay. Don't worry, okay? Don't worry. You'll get plenty of solo saves, I promise. But I really do think that my being there is good for your numbers. :'''Ryan''': What? :'''Homelander''': Yeah. :'''Ryan''': No. :'''Homelander''': Yes. :'''Ryan''': No, no… :'''Homelander''': Yes. :'''Ryan''': I killed Koy. :'''Homelander''': That's what you're upset about? Koy? ''[sighs]'' Okay. Accidents happen all the time, okay? Humans are fragile. You can't save them all. :'''Ryan''': But isn't that our job? :'''Homelander''': Look, Koy died doing what he loved, okay? It'll be better next time. :'''Ryan''': No. :'''Homelander''': Yes. :'''Ryan''': No, I'm never doing that again. :'''Homelander''': Jesus Christ. How many times do I have to tell you?! They're only human, Ryan! Toys! ''[sighs]'' You can't go around feeling bad about what you are 'cause a few things break. Who cares? You are destined for so much more, you understand? You're chosen, young man. Sooner or later, you gotta accept it. ===''"We'll Keep the Red Flag Flying Here"'' [4.03]=== :''[Butcher and Kessler discuss their plan to rescue Ryan while the television shows Homelander holding a rally outside Vought Tower]'' :'''Butcher''': There’s enough here to take down a bull elephant. :'''Kessler''': Ten bull elephants. I’m not takin' any chances. How you gonna get close enough to use it? :'''Butcher''': If I can get Ryan here, I can dose him. You just be ready. :'''Kessler''': He’s not gonna be real happy with us when he wakes up. :'''Butcher''': Grace built the Hazlet Safe House with the specific intention of hot-boxing' Supes. It’ll hold Ryan. :'''Kessler''': Not for long. :'''Butcher''': Then we better work fast. Like when we deprogrammed them two ISIL lads, eh? :'''Kessler''': And if he doesn’t listen to us? :''[Butcher gets momentarily distracted when he sees Homelander on TV bring Ryan up on stage]'' :'''Homelander''': ''[on TV]'' My son, Ryan. :'''Butcher''': …Then we keep him high on halothane till he does. Now listen here, Joe. We get Ryan’s head clear, and that’s it, alright? Nothing about trainin' him up to top Homelander. :'''Kessler''': So you’ve said. :'''Butcher''': I mean it, Joe. Would you train your boy up to be a killer? :'''Kessler''': Listen, brother. You don’t trust me, go back to your team. Oh, wait. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Homelander and Sister Sage watch Firecracker filming a Vought promo from a distance]'' :'''Firecracker''': Did you know that these “vaccines” that they’re giving out at the Starlight House actually cause autism? And–And not that cool ''[[w:Rain Man|Rain Man]]'' autism that makes you good at countin' cards and shit. :'''Homelander''': That's her? :'''Sister Sage''': Yeah. :'''Homelander''': Really? :'''Sister Sage''': Mm-hmm. :'''Homelander''': Seems like she fell off her jet ski one too many times. :'''Sister Sage''': Now that Starlight’s back leading the Starlighters, we need her. :'''Homelander''': ''That'' is gonna shut them up? :'''Sister Sage''': No, she’s gonna make them louder. Are you gonna trust me or not? :'''Homelander''': Is there a problem? ‘Cause this is a huge day for you, but you seem to have something firmly lodged up your asshole. :'''Sister Sage''': This spandex is. Up my ass and in a camel toe. The whole point was for me to stay behind the scenes. :''[Homelander and Sage quickly get their photo taken together by the camera crew. Homelander motions for them to leave.]'' :'''Sister Sage''': You are clearly punishing me for openly disagreeing with you, which you said you could handle, but clearly you can’t. :'''Homelander''': Do you really think I’d be that petty? :'''Sister Sage''': Yes, I do. I mean, did it occur to you that it is harder to stage a fucking coup with a million eyes on me? :'''Homelander''': Popularity is power, Sister. :'''Sister Sage''': It’s a prison. :'''Homelander''': Listen, it’s gonna be great, okay? You’re a member of The Seven now. You’re a superhero. Act like it. ''[to the male members of The Seven]'' Hey, how about a photo with the new girl, guys? :'''The Deep''': Yeah, get in here. Front and center. :''[Sage tenses up uncomfortably as The Deep pulls her in between him and Black Noir II]'' :'''Homelander''': Get in there. Make a sandwich out of her. <hr width="50%"/> :''[M.M. hacks the phone of A-Train's brother, Nathan, to get himself a meeting with A-Train]'' :'''A-Train''': Hughie’s guy? You jacked my brother’s phone? :'''Mother's Milk''': Cloned it. Had to get your attention somehow. :'''A-Train''': You know I could smear your motherfuckin' face across this astroturf in three seconds, right? :'''Mother's Milk''': Like you did Blue Hawk? I just wanna talk. :'''A-Train''': Why the fuck would I ever talk to you? :'''Mother's Milk''': ‘Cause you gave Starlight that footage. I got you on the office camera doing it. Matter of fact, I got so much dirt on you, A-Train, I could bury you six dozen feet under. But… I don’t think I’m gonna need to do that. :'''A-Train''': And why is that? :'''Mother's Milk''': ‘Cause of those dark circles under your eyes. You ain’t getting no sleep. It makes me wonder, what the fuck is keepin' A-Train up at night? Is it that bullshit white savior movie they got you in? Or that they put your brother in a wheelchair? Or guilt for beatin' three men to death over at Planet Vought? I knew one of those guys. Wasn’t my favorite person, but… he was innocent. You know what I think? I think you’ve spent so much time wearing that stupid-ass Black Power suit, pretending to give a shit, that something stuck. You may have that racist white boy’s heart up in you, but you got a second goddamn chance to actually give a shit. ''[pause]'' So what you gonna do with it, man? :'''A-Train''': Fuck you. Sage is already hunting for whoever leaked that footage. ‘Cause giving a shit just gets you killed. :'''Mother's Milk''': True. But you’re still standing here. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Butcher''': I saw your save on the telly. So you’re a big hero now, eh? :'''Ryan''': Not really. :'''Butcher''': Come on, you’re a star. Nailed your lines and all. :'''Ryan''': I actually… I accidentally hurt someone. :'''Butcher''': What do you mean, “hurt ’em”? :'''Ryan''': I was supposed to throw them… but I did it too hard. :'''Butcher''': They gonna be alright? :'''Ryan''': ''[shakes his head]'' My dad says I shouldn’t even care. ''[pause; tearfully]'' I get why you don’t want me. I wouldn’t want me, either. :'''Butcher''': Hey… Now you listen to me. Them horrible things I said… I didn’t mean ’em. I have this, uh… I have this habit, see, of pushin' people away. :'''Ryan''': Why? :'''Butcher''': ‘Cause, uh… ‘Cause I’m a bad man. I ain’t got no business lookin' after a kid. :'''Ryan''': That's not true. :'''Butcher''': Before, you asked if I was scared. And the truth of the matter… is I’m bloody terrified, mate. I’m leavin' this world with nothing to show for it. I lost me bruv… your mum. And I could be leavin' without makin' things right with the one part of her that ''is'' still alive. And that… that scares me more than anything. :''[Butcher takes the cookie jar and dumps the halothane cookies in the trash]'' :'''Ryan''': Why’d you do that? :'''Butcher''': I fucked ’em up. Put way too much sugar in ’em. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Sister Sage''': So, tell me about your relationship with Starlight. I understand you two were friends. :'''Anika''': Friends? Um, no, I wouldn’t say that we were friends. I mean, we shared an Almond Joy from time to time. :'''Sister Sage''': Our records show you made a phone call to the Starlight House within the past month, so… :'''Homelander''': Are you working with her? :'''Anika''': Uh, no, I–I was just donating some clothes. :'''Homelander''': So why is your heart pounding like a little bass drum? :'''Anika''': I didn’t do anything, okay? I swear. :'''Sister Sage''': Okay. Let’s–Let’s just all calm down, okay? You’re not in trouble here, Anika. ''[laughs]'' Starlight’s the bad guy here. So, look. We’re gonna find out anyway, so you just tell us the truth. We swear you’ll be fine. ''[to Homelander]'' Right? :'''Homelander''': Yes. Yes, I… I swear. I… I swear on the life of my son. :'''Anika''': ''[pause; looks at Ashley, who nods]'' Okay. Yes, Starlight did call me a few days ago. She just wanted some help tracking– :''[Homelander suddenly kills Anika by lasering her head. Ashley freaks out in horror.]'' :'''Homelander''': What? She confessed. Leak plugged. :'''Sister Sage''': You don’t think the next word out of her mouth might have been useful? :'''Homelander''': ''[shrugs]'' Guess I am that petty. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Firecracker walks into her bedroom and sees Annie holding up her "Jesus, Guns, Babies" board]'' :'''Annie''': This is fucking insane. You can’t actually mean this. :'''Firecracker''': I’m sorry, who let you in? :'''Annie''': Bedroom window. This used to be my place. ''[sighs]'' Yeah, I gotta say, I really hate what you’ve done with it. :'''Firecracker''': You know, when I said, “Debate me,” this wasn’t what I had in mind. :'''Annie''': Why me? What have I done to make you hate me so much? :'''Firecracker''': ...You really don’t remember me, do you? Of course. I mean, why would you? We were only on the same pageant circuit together for three fuckin’ years. Course I was going by “Sparkler” back in those days. :'''Annie''': Sparkler. Yeah, right. You sang that “God Bless America” medley. :'''Firecracker''': ''[scoffs]'' I practiced that routine so fuckin’ hard. Never mind we were too poor to have a backyard to practice in, but… I’d dream that one day, I’d get good enough to win. ''[pause]'' [[w:Miami-Dade County, Florida|Miami-Dade]]. Down to you and me, the finals. And my mom starts doing my makeup, and I notice that everyone is… snickering at me. You remember why? Turns out you told everyone that I had an ass-fuck gangbang with the judges, which was the only way trash like me could ever make it to the final. I was thirteen years old. And when I went to you to ask you why… you remember what you said? :'''Annie''': Look, I was immature and stupid, and my mom taught me to be ruthless. :'''Firecracker''': Do you remember what you said? :'''Annie''': I said that… ''[sighs]'' "I don’t talk to fat sluts." :'''Firecracker''': And then, not long after that, I had to quit the pageant circuit, ’cause… Well, a rumor like that, it really follows you around. And the more you deny it, the more they believe it. :'''Annie''': I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It was so fucked up, and it was so wrong. I was jealous, but I’m not that person anymore. :'''Firecracker''': People don’t change. And everybody thinks that you’re so decent. So pretty and perfect. Hell, you fuckin' think you’re better than everybody else. :'''Annie''': That’s not true. :'''Firecracker''': You’re damn fuckin' right it’s not. All that dove, pure angel bullshit? No, I see the connivin' little mean girl bitch in there. And when I’m done, the rest of the world’s gonna see it, too. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Daphne Campbell''':I was, uh... 22 when I had you. Mm-hmm. ''[chuckles]'' Oh, those dimples. But I was depressed. Postpartum. Uh... You know, people think depression, they think, “Oh, so you’re sleepy, so what?” But it’s... not like that. It... it’s painful. It hurts. My friends all said, “Give it a month, six months, a year,” but it- it never went away. But you were always so fun. We’d have dance parties. I never wanted you to see it. But... getting dressed was like... [[w:Mount Everest|climbing Everest]]. And so, one night, I just took 40 [[w:Ambien|Ambien]] and [[w:suicide|tried to kill myself]]. Thank God I threw them up in the toilet. So the next day, I... took you to school, and I left. I didn’t want to, but... it was life or death for me. :'''Hughie''': I didn’t know that. :'''Daphne''': Why would you? :'''Hughie''': You, um... you never called. :'''Daphne''': I tried. But your dad was so hurt, and- and... he didn’t want me to confuse you. So, eventually, I just stopped. I thought, you know, maybe I wasn’t cut out to be a parent. And I know you’ve spent a lot of your life hating me and thinking I’m the villain, and I would never ask for your forgiveness. But I’m really sorry, Hughie, that I hurt you. I was just fucked up, you know? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Homelander''': Where have you been? :'''Ryan''': Sorry. I flew to Coney Island to get those hot dogs. :'''Homelander''': You’re lying. :'''Ryan''': No, I’m not. :'''Homelander''': You’ve been at William Butcher’s. I can smell him on you. :'''Ryan''': I wanted to see him. ''[Homelander scoffs at him]'' He’s going through a tough time. :'''Homelander''': Why do you care when you have everything here?! You have a home, you have a father! I’ve given you everything that I ever wanted, and it’s still not good enough for you! WHY?! You’re ungrateful. You go behind my back, you lie to me. Why? ''[softly]'' Fuck. Why am I not good enough for you? :'''Ryan''': ''[stammers]'' No, I… It’s just Butcher– :'''Homelander''': Butcher. You know what? If you love him so much, why don’t you get ''him'' to be your dad? :'''Ryan''': No, I don’t want him to be my dad. You’re my– :'''Homelander''': Enough! ENOUGH! :''[Homelander throws a statue at a mirror in a fit of rage. Ryan runs away from him.]'' :'''Homelander''': Aw, fuck. Fuck. :'''Mirror Homelander #1''': John? John… Come here. :''[Homelander gets up and walks over to the shattered mirror, where he sees three reflections of himself]'' :'''Mirror Homelander #1''': John, come here. You really made a mess this time, tiger. :'''Mirror Homelander #2''': Come on, champ. Pull yourself together. Deep breath. :'''Mirror Homelander #1''': For God’s sakes, look at you. A few Starlighters hate you, Ryan spends some time with Butcher, and ''oh boo-hoo'', you’re a fucking mess! :'''Mirror Homelander #2''': You have to be stronger, John. For Ryan. :'''Mirror Homelander #1''': You still need love! :'''Mirror Homelander #2''': You’re pushing him away. :'''Mirror Homelander #1''': So much love! You still crave it! :'''Homelander''': No, that’s not true. :'''Mirror Homelander #1''': You’re gonna make him weak and needy, like you. :'''Mirror Homelander #2''': You can still fix things. He’s your son. :'''Mirror Homelander #1''': He hates you. He’s gonna turn on you. :'''Mirror Homelander #2''': Your blood. :'''Mirror Homelander #1''': Everyone hates you. :''[The third Homelander reflection shushes the other two]'' :'''Mirror Homelander #3''': It’s time to overcome this need for love–this sickness–once and for all. You’re never gonna be your true self until you transcend your humanity. :'''Homelander''': What do I do? :'''Mirror Homelanders''': You need to go back to the start. :''[Homelander remembers the laboratory where he was raised as a child]'' :'''Mirror Homelander #3''': John, you need to go home. ===''"Wisdom of the Ages"'' [4.04]=== :''[Homelander decides to torture the scientists who experimented on him during childhood, starting with Frank]'' :'''Homelander''': Hey, Frank, come on over. How about a game of wastepaper basketball? :'''Frank''': I’m sorry? :'''Homelander''': Uh, first of three, and tell you what? To make it interesting: You win, I’ll let you knock off early, go see the fam. :'''Frank''': Um, okay. :'''Homelander''': Excellent. I’ll start. :''[Homelander crumples up some paper into a ball and successfully throws it into the wastebasket. He watches as Frank also manages to throw a paper ball into the wastebasket.]'' :'''Homelander''': ''[pause; crumples up more paper]'' You know, I learned this game from you, Frank. :'''Frank''': I don’t understand. :'''Homelander''': I once saw you take a shot at a wastebasket, and you nailed it, and… And you don’t remember. :'''Frank''': No. :'''Homelander''': Yeah? ''[throws a second paper ball into the basket]'' Well, I sure do. Yeah, you–you were sitting there, and… Well, I was in this oven here. And you made the shot. You did a little fist pump to celebrate, and–and then you turned up the temperature to see if you could burn my skin. You remember that, right? ''[chuckles]'' Your turn. :''[Frank tosses his second paper ball into the wastebasket, scoring another point]'' :'''Homelander''': Fun fact: Even though my skin didn’t char, it still really hurt. ''[laughs]'' I mean, a lot. Yeah, I was in there, screaming in agony, and my tears just sizzled away. :''[Homelander's smile breaks as he remembers his younger self crying out in pain inside the oven]'' :'''Homelander''': Yeah… I remember there were people standing here taking notes, but behind them I saw you make that shot. ''[crumples up a third piece of paper]'' It really was a great shot, Frank. :'''Frank''': I was just doing my job. :''[Just as Homelander is about to throw his third paper ball, he wavers as his mind flashes back again to himself burning in the oven]'' :'''Homelander''': Hmm. You know, I had nightmares about that exact moment, and you can’t even remember it. It’s funny, isn’t it? How people can have such a different memory of the exact same thing. It’s all a matter of perspective, I guess. ''[pause]'' Hey, Frank. This is my last shot. ''[points at the oven]'' Why don’t you go watch from in there? :'''Frank''': John, why don’t we– :'''Homelander''': Homelander. Get in the oven, Frank. :'''Frank''': ''[chuckling]'' Please. :'''Homelander''': ''[opens the oven door]'' Get in the oven or your family goes in with you. :'''Marty''': Please, Homelander, you don’t have to do this! :'''Homelander''': Marty… :''[Some of the scientists gasp and fearfully watch Frank reluctantly walk inside the oven]'' :'''Homelander''': Thank you. :'''Frank''': I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. :'''Homelander''': You’re sorry? Now? But why? You were just doing your job, right? :''[Homelander shuts the oven door and cranks up the oven heater]'' :'''Frank''': Homelander… Don’t do this! No! :''[Marty and the other scientists look away as Frank's body slowly chars and gets engulfed in flames. Frank touches the glass panel on the door, which immediately sets his hand on fire. Homelander tosses his paper ball, but misses the waste basket.]'' :'''Homelander''': And I bet you would’ve won. :''[Frank collapses dead, his incinerated skeleton still smoldering inside the oven]'' :'''Female Scientist''': Oh, my God… Oh, my God! :'''Homelander''': I forgive you. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Hughie is accompanied by Kimiko when he meets up with A-Train]'' :'''A-Train''': What the shit is this? Where’s the talking goatee with the gold chains? :'''Hughie''': ''[to Kimiko, who he holds back]'' It’s okay. ''[to A-Train]'' I’m the one that called you. :'''A-Train''': Are you crazy? Sage is on my ass, stares at me like I’m fucking dinner, but you thought this was a good time to be seen together? :'''Hughie''': I need a dose of Compound V, and I need it today. :'''A-Train''': Oh, is that all?! For what? :'''Hughie''': What do you care? :'''A-Train''': Homelander has every vial of V locked up in his apartment. Hundreds of them. Nobody gets it. :'''Hughie''': Okay. Well, he’s not gonna miss one vial, then. You gotta find a way. :'''A-Train''': No. It’s too dangerous. ''[starts walking away]'' :'''Hughie''': No! Hey, fuck that! You owe me! :'''A-Train''': I owe you? I just saved your fucking life. :'''Hughie''': Every single fucked-up, horrible thing that’s ever happened to me–to all of us–it all started with you, ’cause you took away someone I loved! And now you’re gonna give someone I love back. :'''A-Train''': What? :'''Hughie''': ''[pause]'' My dad’s about to die. V is the only thing that can save him. This is your chance… to finally make things right. :'''A-Train''': What makes you think I give a shit? :'''Hughie''': You tell me. :'''A-Train''': If I do this… we’re good? Forever? :'''Hughie''': Yes. :''[A-Train turns back around and super-runs out of the dock. Kimiko punches Hughie's arm.]'' :'''Hughie''': Ow! What?! :'''Kimiko''': ''[texting to Hughie]'' You didn't say we were meeting A-Train. And you want V? Haven't you learned anything? :'''Hughie''': Kimiko, I’m sorry, but it’s my dad. What else was I supposed to do? :'''Kimiko''': ''[texting to Hughie]'' I'm sorry, but I think you are supposed to let him die. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Butcher''': M, I got a favour to ask. :'''Mother's Milk''': You think you’re in a position to ask for a favor? :'''Butcher''': If I can’t get the job done before I, uh… :''[Butcher has a vision of Becca standing next to M.M.]'' :'''Butcher''': I need you to get Ryan away from Homelander. :'''Mother's Milk''': Oh, Butcher. :'''Butcher''': I gotta be realistic. Some days I can barely even fuckin' stand. Get him outta there. Raise him. :'''Mother's Milk''': Raise him? :'''Butcher''': You’re the best dad I know, M. The best fuckin' anyone. :'''Mother's Milk''': That might be one of the nicest things you’ve ever said to me... but what if Ryan doesn’t wanna go? :'''Butcher''': Then you’ve gotta make him. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Butcher''': ''[claps; to Firecracker]'' Top-notch show, love. Just weren’t sure whether you wanted us to kneel before your cross or burn it. :'''Firecracker''': …Oh, you’re those motherfuckers that killed my friend. :'''Butcher''': Yeah, crying shame, that. But if it’s any consolation, he’s up there with God, noshin' on his holiest of holies as we speak. :'''Firecracker''': I’m gonna shut your fuckin' face– :'''Butcher''': Alright, alright. Keep your hair on, love. We just want a little chin wag’s all. :'''Firecracker''': Talk American. :'''Butcher''': Right. You remember that magical summer when you was 28, workin' as a counselor at the Capes for Christ Bible Camp in Davie, Florida, and you met that lovely fifteen-year-old boy who tickled your fancy, and… Well then, tickled more than that, didn’t he? Hmm? Ring any bells? ''[shows a tweet about Firecracker's arrest on his cell phone]'' Here’s a little keepsake snapped by the Broward County Sheriff’s Department that you can stash in your wank bank. You and your little [[w:Justin Bieber|Bieber]] edgin' in the back of your RAV4 in the car park of Buca di Beppo. :'''Mother's Milk''': Whatever voodoo Vought’s lawyers pulled to get your statutory charges dropped, I don’t think they’re gonna matter too much to your evangelical audience back there. :'''Butcher''': You’re gonna tell us everything you know about Sage and her grand plan, ''[points at his cell phone]'' or I hit this little tweet button here. ''[smirks]'' :'''Firecracker''': ''[beat]'' How about I just send it myself? ''[presses the phone's "Send" icon, to Butcher and Milk's shock]'' Fuck around and find out. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Annie and Frenchie watch Firecracker walk onstage during Ezekiel's speech, holding back fake tears]'' :'''Ezekiel''': "Starlight", that's 9 letters! Or is that 6 upside down?! "Annie January", 12 letters! That's two more sixes! [[w:number of the beast|666!]] What more proof could you possibly need?! :'''Firecracker''': I’m sorry, I gotta interrupt. I’m so sorry. I need–I need to make a confession. :'''Ezekiel''': A confession? :'''Firecracker''': I need to confess my sins. ''[Ezekiel nods and hands her the mike]'' Ain’t no way to sugarcoat this. I had… inappropriate relations with a sweet young man. ''[exhales]'' Damn, that smile. But that young man, he was fifteen years old… :'''Annie''': Oh… :'''Firecracker''': …but the moment of my greatest weakness was also the moment that pushed me to my eternal salvation. I was born again, and my sins were washed away by the tears of His love! :'''Ezekiel''': Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord! :'''Firecracker''': Now, I–I believe that our Lord Jesus Christ put that young man in my life to lead me to the path of righteousness. :'''Annie''': ''[rolls her eyes]'' Oh, my God. :'''Firecracker''': You gotta choose to turn into the light of His love. And that’s what Starlight, she just didn’t do. Y’all ever hear that story about her very first save? She was only thirteen years old, and well, a gunman came into Walmart and took hostages. Well, Starlight, she came in a’blastin'. But what they don’t tell you is that she blinded one of those hostages that day. A mother of three, just trying to buy [[w:Crunch Cap'n Crunch#Variations|Crunch Berries]] for her kids. But Starlight, she just went on, smilin' for those cameras like none of it ever happened. Starlight’s no hero. She never was. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Annie tearfully watches Firecracker continue publicly discrediting her during her television special]'' :'''Firecracker''': ''[on TV]'' Now, y’all heard a lot tonight about who Starlight really is. But you still haven’t seen the true monster behind the mask. And the truth… Oh, it is so much worse than you could ever imagine. Six months ago, Starlight visited a clinic. She wasn’t going for a checkup. :'''Annie''': What the fuck? :'''Firecracker''': ''[on TV]'' She found out that she was pregnant, and she had an abortion. :'''Annie''': Are those my ''fucking medical records?'' :'''Firecracker''': ''[on TV]'' She was raised a Christian. She knew the difference between right and wrong. She knew exactly what she was doin'! So you won’t tell me that those teens over there, that they’re safe with her! With that baby killer?! :''[Annie storms out of the Starlight House]'' :'''Mother's Milk''': Annie, wait! :''[...]'' :'''Firecracker''': She could have given it up for adoption! But no, she murdered it! :''[Firecracker sees Annie fly towards her, eyes glowing. Annie lands on stage and menacingly walks up to Firecracker.]'' :'''Firecracker''': So you finally came to deb– :''[Annie brutally beats Firecracker to the ground and punches her repeatedly in the face. Unbeknownst to Annie, the cameras are still rolling. Sister Sage watches the beating from the Vought conference room.]'' :'''Sister Sage''': How’s that for “uppity,” cracker? :''[Cut to Annie getting held back by M.M.]'' :'''Mother's Milk''': Stop. Look. :''[Annie is horrified to see all the cameras on her and that many viewers saw the whole beating live and start posting about it on social media. Cut back to Sister Sage at Vought Tower.]'' :'''Sister Sage''': First pebble down the mountain. <hr width="50%"/> :'''The Deep''': I don’t get you, dude. Like, at all. You start off, you’re a total bitch. And then you tell me I’m, like, a superior being–which of course I like–and that you’re down to pound, which obviously I will... :'''Sister Sage''': I know. Most people, their brains grow till they’re about 25, then stop forever. Mine doesn’t. It regenerates, constantly. Stab me in the heart, I die. But stab me in the brain and the little fucking bitch grows back. ''[holds out scalpel]'' I want you to put this inside me. :'''The Deep''': ''[chuckles]'' That’s the worst dildo I’ve ever seen, but– :'''Sister Sage''': No, in my eye. Here. :'''The Deep''': I am down for, like, a lot, but... :'''Sister Sage''': It’s temporary. :'''The Deep''': Hmm? :'''Sister Sage''': You [[w:lobotomy|give me a frontal lobotomy]] and I don’t have to fucking be me for a couple hours. :'''The Deep''': Uh, that’s just... fucking gross. :'''Sister Sage''': I’ll let you ass-fuck me while we watch the Kim and Ray J video. :'''The Deep''': ''[takes scalpel from Sage]'' Okay, so where do you want me to put it? ''[points at her eye]'' Just right there? :'''Sister Sage''': Sit down. Now, avoid the eye itself. I don’t want to go blind. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Homelander''': It’s funny. I–I remember it being so much bigger. You know why I used to call this the Bad Room? :'''Barbara''': It was just a room, John. It’s neither good nor bad. :'''Homelander''': That’s easy to say from the other side of the door. Now– :'''Barbara''': Did you come back here just to torment those people? Doesn’t that feel a little… a little small? They were just following orders. Dr. Vogelbaum’s, Stan Edgar’s and mine. :'''Homelander''': Yeah, but they followed them. Not one of them had the backbone to stand up and say, “This is wrong.” :'''Barbara''': ‘Cause they were scared. :'''Homelander''': I was a child. :'''Barbara''': They were scared! You know, I was there the day that you were born. They paid some poor runaway two grand to carry the embryo to term. But you lasered her guts open from the inside. You rose in the air with your umbilical cord still attached, like some creature out of myth… or nightmare. You killed three doctors and a nurse while you were at it. And then–just trust me–it was downhill from there. So, yeah. Yeah, everybody was terrified of you, from your first breath. :'''Homelander''': But you weren’t? ''[chuckles]'' :'''Barbara''': We have no physical power over you. We never did. You could’ve broken out of here anytime you wanted. We couldn’t have stopped you. But you didn’t. ''[pause]'' Because you couldn’t stand the idea that we would be disappointed in you. Your need for approval and for love. Vought brought in the best psychologists in the world. They developed the protocol to carefully engineer that need so that you would be obedient. In many ways, that was our greatest success. :'''Homelander''': I don’t need any of it anymore. :'''Barbara''': Doesn’t matter what you do to me or the rest of the staff here. Your need for love is so deep. It's so human, you’ll never be able to overcome that. :'''Homelander''': That’s where you’re wrong. I’m not human, and neither is my son. And I’m going to raise him so that he knows it. You know, I really do wanna share with you why I called this the Bad Room. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Hughie meets with A-Train in a deserted alley to obtain the Compound V sample from him]'' :'''A-Train''': It’s bullshit, right? You’re not gonna forgive me. ''[pause; Hughie just stares at him]'' Yeah, thought so. :'''Hughie''': Wait. You’re right. I–I was gonna tell you to go fuck yourself, but I changed my mind. We’re good. :''[A-Train shakes Hughie's hand before running off]'' :'''Butcher''': You fuckin' dog wanker. :''[Hughie is shocked when Butcher reveals himself]'' :'''Hughie''': Jesus. How long have you been standing there? :'''Butcher''': Long enough. How could ya? :'''Hughie''': I didn’t–I didn’t do it for him. I don’t wanna spend the rest of my life hating anybody. :'''Butcher''': ''[looks at the Compound V]'' Whatcha gonna do with that, then? :'''Hughie''': I mean–Look, you're probably the only guy that would understand, but I was gonna give it to my dad. :'''Butcher''': ''[shakes his head]'' Oh, Hughie. :'''Hughie''': Look, I know. I know it’s insane and terrible, but what other choice do I have? :'''Butcher''': Any other fuckin' choice, you twat. :'''Hughie''': You’re ''really'' telling me that you wouldn’t take some if you were in his shoes? ‘Cause you kind of are. There’s enough here. It’d save you, too. It’s gotta beat dying of brain cancer, right? :'''Butcher''': I already took some. Nicked it outta Frenchie’s desk four months ago. Thought it might cure me. :'''Hughie''': Jesus. Do you have powers? :'''Butcher''': No. All it did was bring up the big day. I’m tellin' ya, quit while you’re behind. You’ll only make matters worse. ===''"Beware the Jabberwock, My Son"'' [4.05]=== :'''Butcher''': Fuck all this cloak and dagger shite. It’s bloody freezin' out here. :'''Kessler''': Well, I mean, I was thinking we could meet in your mom’s pussy, but you know, I wanted someplace more private. :'''Butcher''': ''[chuckles softly]'' So, what you thinkin'? :'''Kessler''': Butcher, listen. How about we do this job, just you and me? :'''Butcher''': I don’t know, Joe. It’s a bit all of a sudden, innit? :'''Kessler''': Billy… your team is a joke. You think I haven’t noticed? M.M.’s on the verge of a breakdown, Frenchie’s a fucking junkie, Hughie is a gaping wet pussy. And the two Supes on your side? Man, for whatever reason, you have a blind spot for them. :'''Butcher''': Alright, I’ll give you Starlight. But Kimiko’s a bloody good weapon, and the rest of them are still up to scratch. :'''Kessler''': Well, I don’t get you. I don’t. Half your brain is a fucking tumor. This is your last shot at Homelander, and now you decide to go soft? Yeah, they are decent people. But you and me, we don’t belong with decent. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Butcher''': Fuckin' hell, it’s like a morgue in here. What’s with all the long faces? :'''Annie''': I don’t know, maybe because I’m getting blamed for the murder you did. :'''Butcher''': I’d call you a cunt, but you ain’t got the depth or the warmth. :'''Mother's Milk''': I’ve been meaning to ask you something. How was it that you took out Ezekiel? :'''Butcher''': I have no idea. :'''Mother's Milk''': Bullshit. :'''Butcher''': God’s honest. I, uh… blacked out, came to, and there he was. All over the shop. But never mind that bollocks because, my son, I have found it… The answer to all our prayers. :'''Mother's Milk''': And what might that be? :'''Butcher''': Ah, it’s nothing much. Just a… a virus that kills Supes. :'''Frenchie''': Such a thing does not exist. :'''Butcher''': ''Did'' not exist. Does now. Y'see, some clever cunts over at Godolkin University cooked up a bug that latches onto the V in their bloodstream. Now, it’s completely harmless to humans, but to Supes? Fuckin' diabolical. :'''Annie''': So, you shove this shit into me and Kimiko and we just… drop dead? :'''Butcher''': Yep. That’s the idea. Now, it ain’t juiced enough to kill Homelander, but I reckon we get our hands on some and try it out on our lovely VP-elect. :'''Mother's Milk''': And why the hell are we just finding out about this shit, Butcher? :'''Butcher''': There’s only one small snag. When I went to God U to nick it, Neuman had pipped me to the post, so we’re gonna have to nick it from her. :'''Annie''': This is insane and desperate. Even for you. :'''Butcher''': Well, insanely desperate’s where we are, don’t you think, love? :'''Mother's Milk''': Okay. Alright, alright. Time out. ''[to Annie]'' Look, if this virus is as dangerous as Butcher says it is, do you really want it in Neuman’s hands? :'''Annie''': ''[pause; sighs]'' No, you’re right. :'''Butcher''': Alright, then. Then, we’re sorted. Oh, uh… One other tiny little thing. I need you to get us one presidential pardon. <hr width="50%"/> :''[The Boys investigate the lab in Stan Edgar's country mansion, where the Supe virus is being produced and tested on animals. Frenchie opens a fridge and notices an empty sample tray.]'' :'''Mother's Milk''': What’d you find? :'''Frenchie''': It’s what I did not. See, the labels mark each iteration of this virus. Somebody’s been running tests, but now… it’s all gone. :''[Frenchie is shocked to see M.M.'s nose bleeding profusely]'' :'''Mother's Milk''': What? ''[Frenchie, whose nose is also bleeding, points at M.M.'s nose]'' Holy shit. :''[Butcher and Annie also feel their noses bleeding. Victoria Neuman and her bodyguard walk inside the lab.]'' :'''Annie''': Fucking bitch. :''[Butcher, M.M. and Frenchie aim their guns at Neuman]'' :'''Neuman''': Easy. :'''Edgar''': Victoria. You’re looking well. :'''Neuman''': You think I wouldn’t know the minute you and your ankle monitor stepped out of that prison? :'''Edgar''': I don’t recall giving you permission to turn my rec room into a virology lab. :'''Neuman''': You brought these assholes here? They want to kill me. :'''Edgar''': I’m sorry. Are you upset that I betrayed you? :'''Butcher''': Oi, knock it off, you two. This ain’t ''Family Pies''. :'''Neuman''': ''[to Butcher]'' You have five seconds to tell me what you did to Sameer, or I paint this fucking room red. :'''Butcher''': Who the fuck’s Sameer? :'''Edgar''': ''[to Annie as she makes the lights flicker]'' Enough. ''[to Neuman]'' So, you brought in Sameer. Smart. That’s what I’d have done. But whatever happened to him, it wasn’t us. We should find him together. :'''Neuman''': You’re fucking kidding me. :'''Edgar''': If I’m not mistaken, you hurt these people, they expose you as a super-abled killer, yes? Then I’m afraid that we are at a stalemate. You might as well use their expertise. At the very least, they’re effective [[w:cannon fodder|cannon fodder]]. :'''Mother's Milk''': ''[sarcastically]'' Thanks. That's really nice of you. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Ryan''': So, you’re… you’re really not mad at me? :'''Homelander''': No. I’m proud of you for speaking your mind. Ryan… ''[sighs]'' I’ve been manipulated by people my whole life. Being told what to say, where to stand. It–It’s like being a slave, only worse. I did some reflecting, and I realized that I’ve been doing the same thing to you. But no more. From now on, no more rules. For either of us. We are both emancipated from slavery. We’re free. Sound good? :'''Ryan''': Yeah. ''[chuckles]'' :'''Homelander''': Yeah? Oh, buddy, I–I don’t care what anyone else thinks but you. Far as I’m concerned, this whole planet is empty. Except for you and me. <hr width="50%"/> :'''A-Train''': ''[approaches Ashley backstage during the V52 Expo; Ashley turns to look at him]'' No, keep your eyes forward. Don't let them see us talking. :'''Ashley''': Who? :'''A-Train''': Sage, Homelander, all of them. :'''Ashley''': Oh, God, are you on meth? :'''A-Train''': Remember when we said we'd help each other? The leak wasn't Anika; it was me. :'''Ashley''': ''[in a panicked whisper]'' What the fuck? What the fuck, are you fucking suicidal?! :'''A-Train''': ''[whispering to her]'' Shh... Just.. Just chill out, Ashley. :'''Ashley''': Chill out? You just made me a fucking accomplice, you piece of shit. I took one shit in Homelander's toilet, I'm not joining the fucking [[w:Star Wars|Rebel Alliance.]] I need to tell him. :'''A-Train''': Hey. You've done a lot more than just take a shit, and we both know that. We made a deal. So you either help me get Sage off my jock, or you go down with me. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Neuman, Edgar and the Boys find Sameer hiding in a barn after they are attacked by mutated sheep. They also find the dead body of Sameer's lab assistant, Henry.]'' :'''Sameer Shah''': Zoe’s not here, is she? Because… ''[Neuman shakes her head]'' No? :'''Neuman''': No, no. She’s okay. She’s okay. :'''Sameer''': Okay, good. :'''Annie''': Wait... Oh, my God, is that Zoe’s dad? :'''Edgar''': Dr. Shah was my top man at Vought R&D before he went behind my back and deflowered my daughter. :'''Neuman''': Okay, I was twenty–''thoroughly'' deflowered–and this isn’t the time or the place. ''[to Sameer]'' What happened? :'''Sameer''': We gave V to a hamster, so we could test the virus on it. :'''Frenchie''': Oh, a V’d-up hamster was your first mistake, ''mon ami.'' :'''Sameer''': It got loose. Trashed the lab. We ran, but the V had already leaked into the groundwater. :'''Neuman''': Is the virus gone? :'''Sameer''': …Yes. :'''Neuman''': Fuck. :'''Sameer''': Except for, uh… ''[holds up a syringe filled with the virus]'' Except for one dose. :'''Neuman''': Okay. :''[Butcher anxiously stares at the syringe]'' :'''Mother's Milk''': Hey, how transmissible is that? :'''Sameer''': Not very. Only through [[w:Body fluid|bodily fluid]]. [[w:blood|Blood]], [[w:saliva|saliva]]... [[w:semen|semen]]. :'''Mother's Milk''': Okay, so we inject it into ''[motions at Henry's body]'' your dead buddy over here as bait, and then we put him outside to infect the crazy fucking flying sheep! :'''Frenchie''': This man is in no condition to fuck a sheep. :'''Edgar''': They would ''eat'' him. :'''Frenchie''': Oh... :'''Butcher''': Bollocks. That’s the only dose. I say we fuckin' leg it! :'''Neuman''': Butcher’s right, it’s too valuable. :'''Annie''': Okay, we run, we don’t all make it. :'''Butcher''': Darwinism, love. Don’t gotta be the fastest, just not the slowest. :'''Annie''': No fucking way! :'''Mother's Milk''': Enough. Not now. :'''Edgar''': ''[to Neuman]'' I won’t be able to outrun them. :'''Butcher''': Oh, don’t you cry for that cunt! He’s just tryin' to nick Zoe from you. That’s his whole fuckin' plan, innit? :'''Edgar''': He’s lying. :'''Butcher''': Sorry, Stanny. Just business. :'''Mother's Milk''': Guys, stop. :'''Edgar''': Son of a bitch. :'''Neuman''': I should’ve fucking known. :'''Annie''': M.M. could die, okay?! Or Frenchie! I mean, you really don’t care who you just throw to the wolves? :'''Butcher''': No, not really. :'''Annie''': You’re a monster, and I’m not letting you do this. :'''Butcher''': Or what? You gonna go stark ravin' like you did with Firecracker? I got the head popper and you can’t even get it up! :'''Mother's Milk''': Enough! Enough! Look, look! ''[rolls up jacket sleeve]'' Y’all see this? Hives. And I got 'em because y’all motherfuckers are driving me ''the fuck'' crazy! Now, Annie, you can’t just go around fuckin' everybody up. And Neuman, do you really wanna risk Zoe growing up in a group home the way you did? ''[to Butcher]'' And you… Look. My little baby girl needs me, and I intend on seeing her. You’re not a monster, Butcher. You are a motherfucker, but you a motherfucker with a heart. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Hughie and Daphne find his dad, Hugh Sr, after he becomes amnesiac from being injected with Compound V and accidentally kills several hospital patients]'' :'''Hugh''': You… you left me. You left our little boy. :'''Hughie''': Dad– :'''Hugh''': ''[tearfully]'' You broke our hearts. :'''Hughie''': Dad, stop. :'''Daphne''': Hugh, please. Hugh… Hugh, please. Please, Hugh! :'''Hughie''': I'm Hughie, Dad. I'm the one you took to the Vought Store to buy the Tek Knight doll. Remember, I was–I was short eight bucks, even though I saved for weeks. And you said, "Anything for your number one hero." But that's the thing, Dad. He–He never was. You are. You're my hero. And that's why I–I needed you to wake up, so that I could say it, and I–and I know that you heard it. You're my hero, Dad. :'''Hugh''': ''[beat]'' Hughie? :'''Hughie''': Yeah. Yeah, Dad, it’s me. It’s me. It’s Hughie. :'''Hugh''': Wh–Where are we? :''[Hugh is shocked when he looks down at his blood-soaked hospital gown]'' :'''Hugh''': Oh–Oh, God, wha… ''[tearfully]'' Oh, God. Wh–Why am I… I–I don’t know what’s going on. :'''Hughie''': It’s–It’s a long story, but… :'''Hugh''': No! No! :'''Hughie''': Dad? Dad, it’s Hughie. It’s Hughie, remember? :'''Hugh''': I know. I–I know. I just, I–I don’t… There’s–There’s something wrong with me. I–I can’t stop it. ''[crying]'' I don’t know what to do. :'''Hughie''': That’s okay. I think I do. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Butcher and Kessler drive out to a deserted farm shed, where they have imprisoned Sameer while the rest of the Boys were escaping the Supe sheep. Sameer is chained up and missing his right leg.]'' :'''Kessler''': ''[chuckles]'' Now, see? That is classic Butcher. :'''Sameer''': You get away from me! Get away from me! :'''Butcher''': Alright, take it easy. I ain’t gonna hurt ya. Well, not no more. It was just enough to convince people. :'''Sameer''': You chopped off my ''fucking leg!'' :'''Butcher''': Yes, I did. I ain’t gonna sugarcoat it. Your football days are over, but don’t you worry. We’ll patch you up right as rain, and you’ll be back to work in no time. :'''Sameer''': Work? What work? :'''Butcher''': Well, what the fuck do you think? You’re gonna make us some more of that virus. ===''"Dirty Business"'' [4.06]=== :''[A-Train calls M.M. to inform him about The Seven's murder of Cameron Coleman]'' :'''A-Train''': Hey, this is so fucked! :'''Mother's Milk''': Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. Where are you? :'''A-Train''': Toronto, so we could talk. They killed Cameron Coleman because they thought that he was the fucking leak! :'''Mother's Milk''': Oh, shit. :'''A-Train''': Listen, I can’t do this shit anymore, man. I’m done! :'''Mother's Milk''': Alright, no one ever said this would be easy. Think about your brother, your nephews. They’d be so proud of you, man. :'''A-Train''': Who cares what my family thinks if I’m already fuckin' dead?! :'''Mother's Milk''': Calm down. Now walk me through everything, and let’s process this shit together, alright? :''[Cut to M.M. talking to Hughie and Annie]'' :'''Mother's Milk''': This is ''so'' fucked! So before Cameron got beaten to death, Homelander was seen putting Supes together like a… :'''Annie''': An army? :'''Mother's Milk''': ''[nods]'' Mm-hmm. And then A-Train saw Tek Knight talking to Sage. Looked like they were planning something. :'''Hughie''': You–You wanna talk to Tek Knight? :'''Mother's Milk''': Now, he’s having a Federalist Society party tonight at his estate. :'''Annie''': I cannot believe that this is about to come out of my mouth, but… we could use Butcher. :'''Hughie''': Have you heard from him? :'''Mother's Milk''': Motherfucker’s MIA. :'''Annie''': ''[to Hughie]'' Hey… Maybe you should sit this out, you know? You’ve just been through so much with your dad– :'''Hughie''': I’m fine. Focusing on work is exactly what I need to do right now, okay? Just trust me. :'''Annie''': Okay. :'''Hughie''': Okay. So, how are we supposed to sneak into an alt-right cocktail party? :'''Mother's Milk''': Thought you’d never ask. ''[holds up a Vought record file on…]'' :'''Annie''': Webweaver? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Mother's Milk''': Come on out, kid. :'''Hughie''': You guys are gonna laugh. :'''Annie''': No one is gonna laugh. :''[Hughie sighs heavily and walks out wearing Webweaver's supersuit. M.M, Annie, and Kimiko are unable to contain their laughter.]'' :'''Hughie''': Guys, come on. You–You promised! :'''Kimiko''': ''[texting to Hughie]'' You're like a Times Square Elmo. :'''Annie''': ''[laughing]'' Oh, my God. :'''Hughie''': Okay, you know what? ''[removes mask]'' Fuck you guys. :'''Annie''': ''[coughs]'' How did a junkie like Webweaver score an invite to this anyway? :'''Mother's Milk''': Don’t know, but A-Train said he’s on the list. :'''Hughie''': God, why does he wear it so tight? ''[sniffs]'' Smells like ass sweat and broken dreams in here. :'''Mother's Milk''': Good. It’ll hide your scent from Tek Knight. You don’t wanna give him any tells. :'''Annie''': Wait, Tek Knight has super smell? :'''Mother's Milk''': Yeah. Smell, vision, taste, touch. He’s like Sherlock Holmes on meth. :'''Annie''': I don’t like this. He’s gonna make Hughie– :'''Mother's Milk''': How else are we gonna find out what Sage is cooking? ''[to Hughie]'' Just gotta work fast, kid. Take these bugs, put ’em all over the party, and lure Tek Knight back here as soon as you can. :'''Hughie''': Okay. :'''Mother's Milk''': We’ll take care of the rest. :'''Annie''': Oh, God. Okay, comm check-ins every two minutes. Just say something, okay? Anything. :'''Hughie''': Yeah. Copy. :'''Mother's Milk''': In Webweaver’s voice, motherfucker. :'''Hughie''': Uh… Copy, dawg. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Sister Sage''': ''[to Neuman]'' What happened to you? You look like you got ass-fucked by the business end of a hammer. :'''Neuman''': Well, maybe I don’t wanna be at this CPAC nightmare any more than they want me here. :'''Homelander''': There’s gonna be a little sidebar later on. One percent of the one percent. Sage here is gonna lube them up with cognac and Montecristos, and then convince them to commit a little high treason. :'''Neuman''': I’m sorry, what the fuck? Why would I expose myself like that? :'''Sister Sage''': Because in this room is 38% of the U.S. GDP. And if we have a shot in hell of pulling off the 25th Amendment, we need them. :'''Homelander''': Do you want to be ''el jefe'' or not? :'''Sister Sage''': Good. Now, you’re the virgin at prom. Go get finger-popped. :''[...]'' :'''Neuman''': ''[to Sage]'' I just had abortion mansplained to me by a guy who refuses to be alone with any woman who isn’t his wife… or mistress. I don’t know. I mean, cozying up to these people, you’re fucking asking me to do the impossible here. :'''Sister Sage''': ''[beat]'' When I was eleven, my grandma was diagnosed with Stage 3 chronic lymphocytic leukemia. God… She had the biggest laugh, but she got so small so fast. She was bed-ridden. The doctors didn’t care about saving some old ex-Black Panther, and they told my parents there was nothing to be done. I stayed up the next three nights and discovered a cure. I presented my research to those satisfied fat crackers, they patted me on the head, said I was adorable and laughed at me. Grandma died screaming in pain. ''[pause; takes two tequila shots from a server]'' I could cure cancer, reverse global warming, but what’s the point? Humans are animals. And the lines at Voughtland are too long as it is. ''[downs tequila shot]'' :'''Neuman''': Why are you telling me this? :'''Sister Sage''': Because you remember what it’s like being a little girl who no one fucking listens to. And because ''fuck them all.'' The only way women like us have ever gotten what we deserved… one hand in their pockets while the other slits their fucking throats. Now… You in or out? :''[Neuman thinks for a moment, then downs the tequila shot Sage gave her]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Tek Knight has taken Hughie to his underground sex dungeon]'' :'''Hughie''': Hey, so, did I get the gig? ''[winces as Tek Knight caresses him]'' Dammit. :'''Tek Knight''': Just one last thing. What’s your safe word? :'''Hughie''': ''[groans]'' You know… I’m actually–I’m probably gonna save that for something I–I really can’t handle, but yeah, I’m good. :'''Tek Knight''': ''[pause; sees Hughie's fist shaking]'' You’re trembling. :'''Hughie''': Mm-mm. :'''Tek Knight''': Your body’s riddled by horripilation. Come on. It’s the thing that you love the most. ''[pause]'' Say it. :'''Hughie''': …Lube? :''[Tek Knight removes Webweaver's mask from Hughie' face]'' :'''Tek Knight''': I know you. You’re Hughie Campbell. :'''Hughie''': Fuck! :'''Tek Knight''': This is actually great news. Not only am I gonna get points for catching you, but before I let the big guy know that you’re down here… :''[Tek Knight opens a safe and takes out a tray with several sharp instruments]'' :'''Hughie''': Wait, wait! Wait a minute! ''[stutters]'' Wait a minute, um… You were–Hey, you were my favorite hero as a kid, okay? You don’t wanna do this. :'''Tek Knight''': Everybody always has the same holes. Over and over again, it gets so fucking boring. :'''Hughie''': Please! I looked up to you! :'''Tek Knight''': Sometimes, you just gotta make your own... ''[picks up a knife]'' And then fuck them. <hr width="50%"/> :''[The Deep walks into the Vought boardroom and sees Black Noir II drinking [[w:sake|sake]] with his feet up on table]'' :'''The Deep''': Are you fucking nuts?! Put your mask back on! G–Get out of his chair! What are you doing?! :'''Black Noir II''': You know what’s funny? I hate sake. But I’m supposed to follow some stupid black ninja bullshit, which makes no goddamn sense, by the way. You ever meet a black ninja? :'''The Deep''': Lower your voice. :'''Black Noir II''': There’s nobody here. They left us like babies so they could go do important stuff. We don’t matter. :'''The Deep''': Hey, speak for yourself. I’m doing a ton of important shit. :'''Black Noir II''': Yeah? Like what? :'''The Deep''': Need-to-know, bro. Need-to-fucking-know. :'''Black Noir II''': ''[gets up and walks]'' Fuck it. I’m done with all this shit. :'''The Deep''': You’re quitting?! What are you gonna do?! Seven’s the biggest gig there is! :'''Black Noir II''': Look, I don’t understand Noir, okay? You know there was nothing in his closet but literally like seven file boxes of shitty Buster Beaver drawings? Why’d he have that? :'''The Deep''': Who the fuck knows or cares? :'''Black Noir II''': ''[sighs]'' I’m going to [[w:Missouri|Missouri]] tomorrow. I booked Cirque de Vought’s new show, VIVANT! Music of [[w:Bee Gees|the Bee Gees]]. Three nights a week in [[w:Branson, Missouri|Branson]]. They’re gonna let me fly. I can fly, did you know that? :'''The Deep''': Yeah, dude, we all know that. ''[walks up]'' Look, why didn’t you just come to me? :'''Black Noir II''': About what? :'''The Deep''': Seriously, dude? ''[sighs]'' Man, me and the old Noir? We were like great bros, like real bros. ''[sighs; takes sake bottle]'' Give me this. ''[Black Noir II sits back down]'' Few years ago, Noir cleared out an entire [[w:Indonesia|Indonesian fishing village]]. Vought Fresh Farms was expanding their [[w:palm oil|palm oil plantation]], but the locals were bitching ’cause they needed the river to survive or whatever the fuck. Noir “cancelled” two dozen of ’em. Came back with a raging hard-on for a week. ''[Black Noir II chuckles]'' No, dude, see, what you’re not getting is how horny killing made the old Noir. That was his whole thing. :'''Black Noir II''': But I don’t really like violence. :'''The Deep''': ''[sighs]'' Look, I know this is hard to imagine, but... some people laugh at me. ''[chuckles]'' It’s crazy, right? :'''Black Noir II''': Yeah. :'''The Deep''': But you know what I realized? When I crush someone’s nose into the back of their skull or beat ’em so bad that they’ll never walk again? ''[chuckles]'' They’re not laughing anymore. They show respect. Violence is power. :'''Black Noir II''': I’m starting to get why it gave Noir [[w:erection|so much chub]]. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Sister Sage regains consciousness after getting shot by M.M. and has a napkin pressed against her bullet wound. Homelander confronts her over her absence from the party.]'' :'''Homelander''': What is going on? Hmm? Tek Knight, A-Train, Firecracker, they’re all M.I.A., and where the fuck have you been? :'''Sister Sage''': I once ate a whole bag of [[w:candy corn|candy corns]]. :'''Homelander''': …What? :'''Sister Sage''': In my mouth! ''[giggling]'' I ate them! :'''Homelander''': Sage, what the fuck… ''[notices the bullet hole in her temple]'' What happened to you? :'''Sister Sage''': Brain damage. But now, I could really go for a [[w:Crunchwrap Supreme|Crunchwrap Supreme]] and a [[w:Sybian|Sybian]]. :'''Homelander''': Hey. Hey, look at me. Get a grip on yourself right now. Get a fucking grip. Right now. :''[Sage pouts childishly at Homelander and sits down]'' :'''Neuman''': ''[mouthing to Homelander]'' What the fuck? :''[Homelander looks at Sage, who whimpers in pain as she presses the napkin to her temple again. He decides to give the speech that she was supposed to give to Tek Knight's party guests.]'' :'''Homelander''': Fuck it. Fuck it, I'll do it myself. ''[to the party guests]'' Folks, thank you for coming. I’m sure you’re wondering why we pulled you aside, so let’s get right to it. ''[sighs]'' I think we can all agree that Robert Singer is the greatest threat this nation has ever faced. He is going to destroy this whole country. You all met Ryan, my son. For his sake, I cannot and I will not let that stand. :'''Calhoun''': ''[gestures to Neuman]'' Does she agree? :'''Homelander''': Of course. Especially her. She’s not just eye candy. ''[walks over to her and places hand on her shoulder]'' No, no. Victoria here, she’s an integral part of the plan. She sees up close what a doddering slave to the woke mob Singer really is. How great the threat really is. So once he’s in office, we need to act. We need to invoke the 25th Amendment. :'''Calhoun''': You’re–You’re talking about a coup. :'''Homelander''': No, I’m not. I’m talking about saving this country before Singer replaces us with a bunch of transgender illegals that will do everything… :'''Legal Conservation Woman''': Save the boogeyman shit for the idiots watching VNN. How do you propose to handle the Justice Department? :'''Homelander''': Well, they will all… be our appointees. Obviously. :'''Calhoun''': And the military’s reaction? :'''Oil & Gas Billionaire''': Or [[w:OPEC|OPEC]]. How are you gonna guarantee our oil reserves? :'''Homelander''': Of course there’s gonna be some birth pangs… :'''Male Senator #1''': The shock to the markets would be total. :'''Male Senator #2''': And what happens if civil servants resign en masse? :'''Calhoun''': With all due respect, sir, I think you got a little hitch in your giddy-up. Who’s handling all this? :'''Homelander''': ''[stammers]'' Great question. This is great. Great questions. Truly. And um… Sage. Sage… ''[pause; deflates when he sees Sage shoving cake in her face]'' has the details. :'''Sister Sage''': Mmm. :'''Neuman''': ''[beat; gets up from chair]'' Who’s handling all this? Me. I fucking am. Look, I’m sure you’re all wondering why I’m here tonight, instead of rimming out [[w:Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez|AOC]], while shouting, [[w:George Floyd protests|"defund the police"]], up her asshole. ''[chuckles]'' But I’m here tonight to tell you the truth. The truth is America is not a democracy. The word “democracy” makes people feel safe. But the founders never trusted the masses because the truth is, the masses are fucking stupid. Anyone who owns a “Live, Laugh, Love” mug shouldn’t have a say in how a country is run. People are a labor force that need a kind, but firm hand. There are no nations. There’s [[w:Apple, Inc.|Apple]], [[w:Exxon|Exxon]] and [[w:Berkshire Hathaway|Berkshire Hathaway]]. Corporations are the real superpowers here. You should be able to operate without any regulation or restriction whatsoever. After all, you’re billionaires. You are smart enough to know what’s best. Bottom line? You support me, and that is what you’ll fucking get. :'''Oil & Gas Billionaire''': ''[pause; raises glass in toast]'' Hear, hear. :'''Party Guests''': Hear, hear. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Homelander''': Where were you last night? :'''Firecracker''': Starlight was at the mansion. :'''Homelander''': What? :'''Firecracker''': I chased her outside, but the bitch got away. :'''Homelander''': She did? :'''Firecracker''': Tek Knight’s dead. Probably Starlight and her friends did it. ''[Homelander scoffs]'' How do you think they knew about the party? :'''Homelander''': Cameron Coleman wasn’t the leak. :'''Firecracker''': So either Sage was lyin’ to you, or she’s as useless as tits on a mouse. I mean, fuck. I heard about her performance last night, sir. I just want you to know that I would– :'''Homelander''': So… You’re the one who let Starlight get away. So how do I know that you’re not the leak? :'''Firecracker''': When you found me… my podcast had… I dunno, a couple hundred fans. ''[chuckles]'' You know, folks laughed. Now, I’m the fucking anchor at VNN with millions of followers. And they ain’t laughin’ no more. :'''Homelander''': I really don’t care– :'''Firecracker''': Please, just let me finish! Now, I have spent… my whole life on the outside, lookin' in. It was you… who threw that door open for me, sir. You brought me in. God, you have given me… everything. You… are ''everything'' to me. :''[Firecracker unzips her top, exposing her breasts to Homelander]'' :'''Homelander''': Uh… What are you doing? I am not sexually attracted to you. :'''Firecracker''': No, this ain’t about sex. No, this? This is about loyalty. :''[Homelander recoils when Firecracker squirts breast milk on his face]'' :'''Homelander''': But you’re not pregnant. :'''Firecracker''': There’s a… long regimen of drugs a person can take to make it happen. It enlarges the heart just a tiny little bit. :'''Homelander''': You did this for me? :'''Firecracker''': I’d do anything for you. Anything. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Butcher wheels in a cart full of chemistry equipment into the warehouse lab where Sameer is tied to a pole]'' :'''Kessler''': Well, looky here. Christmas came early, Sameer. :'''Butcher''': Nicked it off a French bloke. Should be enough to get you started. :'''Sameer''': ''[coughs]'' I won’t do it. :'''Kessler''': The fuck you won’t. :'''Sameer''': Do what you want to me, but I can't–I can’t do this for you. :'''Butcher''': Listen. One dose strong enough to top Homelander. And then, you can go back to what’s-her-name, and you don’t gotta see me no more. But this first. :'''Sameer''': You don’t understand. I can’t. It’s what we realized in the lab. To make the virus strong enough to kill Homelander would evolve it into something unstable. :'''Butcher''': What d'you mean, unstable? :'''Sameer''': Airborne, highly contagious, super lethal. No one with Compound V in their bloodstream would be safe. :'''Kessler''': A global fucking pandemic. :'''Sameer''': We’re not just talking about killing Homelander. We’re talking about killing every Supe on Earth. :'''Becca''': ''[appearing behind Butcher]'' That’s Annie, Kimiko… :'''Butcher''': Ryan. :'''Sameer''': Vicky, Zoe. ''[shakes his head]'' I’m sorry. But when they say shit’s fallen into the wrong hands… they mean your hands. :'''Kessler''': This is beyond our wildest dreams, man. Dude just gave us the silver bullet. We can wipe them all out. :'''Becca''': Billy, you cannot go along with this. :'''Butcher''': Listen, mate. No one ever said nothing about genocide. :'''Kessler''': Is that a fucking joke? :'''Becca''': He’s insane. :'''Kessler''': Who was it that said, “They all gotta go? Every fucking last one of ’em?” :'''Becca''': He’s talking about murder, Billy. Of ''thousands.'' :'''Kessler''': Think how much better the world would be. :'''Becca''': And a lot of them are innocent, okay? I know you– :'''Kessler''': ''Shut your fucking cake hole, bitch!'' :'''Butcher''': ''[pause]'' Wait a minute… ''[stammers]'' You can see her? :''[Kessler is revealed to be a figment of Butcher's imagination, just like Becca. Sameer watches Butcher talking to himself.]'' :'''Butcher''': …What the fuck’s that supposed to mean? You’re me? :'''Kessler''': I mean, out of all the fucking people that your festering fucked-up brain could’ve conjured up, you picked me. The real Joe Kessler? He’s dead in the [[w:Panjshir Valley|Panjshir Valley]], motherfucker. You never dragged me out. You left me to die. :''[Butcher thinks back to his earlier encounters with Kessler. He slowly puts it together in his head that Kessler was never there and he was talking to nobody the entire time. He also realizes that he actually murdered Ezekiel.]'' :'''Butcher''': No. No, I’d remember that. I’d fuckin' remember that. :'''Kessler''': Unless of course you’ve got a big old, fat, V’d-up brain tumor, you cunt. Which is why you're seeing me in the first place. ''[pause; Butcher looks at Becca]'' I killed Ezekiel for you. I am inside of you. I am you… which is why when I tell you you wanna do this, ''I am literally telling you that '''you fucking wanna do this'''''. So don’t you worry, Billy, my boy. ''[smiles]'' Daddy’s home. ===''"The Insider"'' [4.07]=== :'''Homelander''': Sage… who’s the leak? :'''Sister Sage''': We’re making inquiries. It’s a process, we’re eliminating– :'''Homelander''': ''[smashes listening device with his fist]'' I assume you know what that is. :'''Sister Sage''': It’s a bug. :'''Homelander''': Specifically William Butcher’s bug. They probably heard every single word we said at Tek Knight’s. And likely killed him. :'''Sister Sage''': They won’t go public with the information. :'''Homelander''': And why not? :'''Sister Sage''': Because it would short-circuit everything they really want, which is to quietly take out Neuman once and for all. :'''Homelander''': ''[groans]'' We should slaughter Butcher and his whole fucking team. :'''Firecracker''': Now that is a great idea, sir. :'''Sister Sage''': Butcher will be dead in a few months anyway. And this close to go-time, I wouldn’t stir up shit with the CIA. :'''Homelander''': Yes, yes, yes. Your illustrious fucking plan. We killed Cameron Coleman for no reason. :'''Sister Sage''': A speed bump, but ultimately harmless. :'''Firecracker''': Cameron golfed with Mike Lindell, who just pulled fifty million bucks worth of pillow commercials. You call that harmless? :'''Sister Sage''': Oh, look at Daisy Duck Dynasty doing math. :'''Homelander''': You know, Firecracker and I have been talking. :'''Sister Sage''': Stimulating, I’m sure. ''[pause; Homelander glares at her]'' Sorry. :'''Homelander''': You have brains, Sage, but I have wisdom. And what happens if those brains of yours get blown out again, leaving you talking like a gibbering idiot? ''[pause]'' Firecracker and I will find the leak. :'''Sister Sage''': With respect, the last time– :'''Firecracker''': Respect? I don’t hear no fuckin' respect. In fact, I am personally offended by the way you are talking to this great man! :'''Homelander''': You just focus on the shooter, make sure he’s good to go on the 6th. :'''Sister Sage''': He’ll be ready. :'''Homelander''': Good. You may leave. <hr width="50%"/> :''[The Boys are discussing A-Train's latest information on Sage when Butcher walks into the office]'' :'''Mother's Milk''': Where the fuck you been? :'''Butcher''': ''[coughs]'' Shittin’ a kidney. Alright, listen up. Now, don’t get your knickers in a twist, but… :''[Kessler appears at Butcher's side]'' :'''Butcher''': You remember Neuman’s dearly departed virus bloke, Dr. Sameer Shah? :'''Kessler''': I’m serious, Butcher. Don’t. :'''Butcher''': Well, funny story. Turns out he ain’t that dead. He’s been workin' for me, makin' some more of that virus. :'''Mother's Milk''': What the fuck? :'''Hughie''': Wait, all they found was… :'''Kessler''': Goddamn it, you asshole. :'''Hughie''': Did you cut off his leg?! :'''Butcher''': Alright, alright. Keep your hair on. :'''Mother's Milk''': So, basically, you’ve been amputatin’ motherfuckers while working on a secret bioweapon, and ''we’re'' the ones that are supposed to chill? :'''Kessler''': You are pissing away our best shot. :'''Butcher''': Now, the trouble is, we’ve hit a slight snag. He can’t make it deadly enough to top Homelander without causin' a global pandemic. :'''Mother's Milk''': Jesus. :'''Annie''': Wait… Genocide. You’re talking about Supe genocide. That’s… :'''Hughie''': Yeah, Butcher, even for you this is… :'''Butcher''': Which is why I’m fuckin' tellin' you, innit? You think I want that much blood on me hands? :'''Kessler''': Yeah, you do. You wanna fuckin' swim in it. :'''Butcher''': ''[to Kessler]'' No, I don’t! ''[pause; to the Boys]'' No, I do not. So to keep the bug from burnin' through you lot like wildfire, I thought ol’ Sameer could do with a bit of a hand. :'''Hughie''': From who? :'''Butcher''': A question both insightful and germane, my son. ''[pause; turns around]'' Ah, here he is. Speak of the devil. :''[The Boys are in shock when they see Frenchie, who Butcher bailed out of jail, walk inside]'' :'''Frenchie''': ''Bonjour.'' :'''Mother's Milk''': How the fuck did you get out? :'''Butcher''': I had Mallory pull a few strings. :'''Frenchie''': Just to be clear, this was against my will. I’d rather fuck a jar of fishing lures than to be free. :'''Hughie''': Oh, cool. Cool. :'''Butcher''': Alright, then. Happy reunions. So, Frenchie will help sort the virus. We’ll use it on Homelander and the VP, and that’s it. No one else. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Mother's Milk''': Listen… You should go on ahead. :'''Butcher''': Yeah, what? :'''Mother's Milk''': Without me. I gotta talk to Monique. It’s– :'''Butcher''': Oh, come off it. Don’t leave me alone with this lot. :'''Annie''': Wait, what? :'''Butcher''': He ain’t goin'. :'''Hughie''': ''[to M.M.]'' You’re not going? Why? :'''Mother's Milk''': Alright, so we gonna make this official? ''[to Butcher]'' Take a knee, I’ll knight you with my dick. You’re back in charge of The Boys again, alright? I’m better off doing research anyway. :'''Annie''': No, you can’t do this. :'''Butcher''': You don’t gotta do this. :'''Kessler''': Yeah, he does. This is good for us. :'''Annie''': You can’t. Things are bad already without this fucking asshole back. :'''Butcher''': Look what I gotta deal with. :'''Mother's Milk''': Listen, it ain’t a debate, you guys. I passed out ''during a mission.'' I ain’t cut out to be a skipper… but he is. So, it’s him. ''[to Butcher]'' It’s you. End of story. <hr width="50%"/> :''[M.M. is packing a suitcase at his apartment when A-Train suddenly shows up and takes his boarding pass]'' :'''A-Train''': Printed-out boarding pass? Damn. What are you, 87? :'''Mother's Milk''': The fuck are you doing here? :'''A-Train''': You took the words right outta my mouth. See, I ran by that shithole earlier. I saw Butcher, Hughie and Starlight going in. But one motherfucker was conspicuously absent. ''[pause; M.M. takes the boarding pass from A-Train]'' So… this is it? You think I don’t wanna just peace out to Belize, sip a daiquiri, smash the local talent? :'''Mother's Milk''': Get on Priceline then, motherfucker. :'''A-Train''': Hey. This shit ain’t over. :'''Mother's Milk''': It’s over for me. I’ve given enough. Maybe I deserve to be fucking happy. :'''A-Train''': You know, when I carried your ass to the ER, there was a kid there. His eyes were like… “Holy shit.” Looking at me… like I was a hero. There were no screaming fans, no cameras. Nobody even knew… except for this one kid. That felt better than anything that I’d ''ever'' done at Vought. Because for ''once''… I didn’t hate myself. ''[pause]'' That’s on you. :'''Mother's Milk''': A-Train, you don’t get it, do you, man? This fight that we’re in? This ''never fucking ends''. It killed my father. It killed his father, and look at what it’s doing to me. It’s tearing me the fuck apart. Just like it did them. You know, I look in the mirror… and I don’t even see myself no more. I got nothing left except my family. :'''A-Train''': You think Homelander and Vought… and all of this shit ain’t coming to Belize? This whole fucking world? Where’s your family gonna go then? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Neuman''': Fuck, I’m gonna miss New York bodegas. :'''Hughie''': Listen, we need to talk. You can still stop all this, alright? Just stop. :'''Neuman''': You must be pretty desperate if you’re throwing a Hail Mary like this. Jesus. :'''Hughie''': Five minutes, alright? Just five minutes where we cut the bullshit and we talk–just you and me–about how fucked all this is! :'''Neuman''': What it is, is politics. You know how it goes, strange bedfellows. :'''Hughie''': Yeah, but it’s not like you’re palling around with Mitt Romney! You’re working with Homelander! He’s gonna kill the President. That sounds ''fucking insane'' coming out of my mouth! ''[pause; Neuman just shrugs]'' Wow. When Homelander chucks all the Starlighters into internment camps, you’re just–You’re cool with that, too? ''[pause]'' You didn’t know about the camps. Why do you think that you were at Tek Knight’s? That’s what his prisons are for. :'''Neuman''': I gotta get back to it. :'''Hughie''': I still have all the dirt on you. What you said at Tek Knight’s. Everything. :'''Neuman''': Is that a threat? :'''Hughie''': No. Because when we drop it, then you’ll kill us all. Like you said, mutually assured destruction. But it doesn’t have to be that way. And if you’re even, like, one percent of the person that I knew, then I don’t think you really wanna do this. You can still step back. Vic, it’s not too late. :'''Neuman''': ''[beat]'' Thanks for coming by. ''[pause; Hughie starts walking out]'' I’m sorry… to hear about your dad. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Firecracker''': Homelander… Are you alright? :'''Homelander''': ''[tearfully]'' A-Train? :'''Firecracker''': I’m so… :'''Homelander''': How could he do this to me? :'''Firecracker''': I’m so sorry. You know, some folks are just… Well, they’re born uppity. :'''Homelander''': Where is he? :'''Firecracker''': He cut out his tracking chip. And his family’s gone, too. :'''Homelander''': …Of course. :''[Sister Sage enters the conference room]'' :'''Sister Sage''': You sent Deep and Noir after Butcher? We talked about this. :'''Homelander''': Smartest person in the world, and you didn’t know A-Train was the leak? :'''Sister Sage''': …I knew. :'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' You knew. :'''Firecracker''': And you let us kill Webweaver for nothing. :'''Sister Sage''': Oh, shit. You killed Webweaver? Did you think he was the leak? He was a junkie who’d confess to nailing Christ on the cross if it got him home for his next fix. :'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' I was very clear. No more secrets. :'''Sister Sage''': But A-Train only leaked exactly the information I wanted Butcher and his team to know. He was the perfect misinformation delivery system. Until now. This was all part of the plan. :'''Homelander''': Mm-hmm. Okay. Get the fuck out of here. You’re done. Go back to your little litter box in Detroit and die alone. :'''Sister Sage''': ''[stammers]'' You promised. You promised me you would listen to me. :'''Homelander''': You’re lucky I’m not sending you home in a bucket. ''[beat]'' '''Go.''' :'''Sister Sage''': Fine. ''[looks at Firecracker]'' Surround yourself with people like her. Then, you can systematically eliminate anyone who gets in your way. But there’s one person you will never, ever defeat. Good luck without me. :''[Sage leaves a Queen Maeve notebook on the conference room table on her way out]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''The Deep''': Bro? :'''Black Noir II''': Bro! Bro? :'''The Deep''': Bro... Bro! :'''Black Noir II''': Bro. :''[The Deep runs into Sister Sage while in the hallway with Black Noir II]'' :'''The Deep''': Hey, you. Hey, so we’ve had a day. ''[Sage ignores hims and keeps walking]'' Wait, what’s the rush? :'''Sister Sage''': Homelander. He fired me. :'''Black Noir II''': Wait, but you can’t leave. I love you. We have something special, don’t we? :'''The Deep''': Wait, is she lobotomizing herself to fuck you, too? :'''Black Noir II''': What do you mean, “lobotomizing herself”? :''[Sage angrily walks off]'' :'''The Deep''': …Bro. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Ryan''': Stop, stop, stop! This song isn't cool. Well, honestly, none of this is cool. :'''Ashley''': Go to fucking commercial! :'''Ryan''': No, don't go to commercial. Keep rolling, please. Your family isn’t your enemy. Your family is all you’ve got. ''[pause]'' I’ve been thinking about my mom a lot lately. She died. But she loved Christmas… and s’mores with Reese’s. And ''Terms of Endearment''… and she loved her husband, Billy, but she wouldn’t love this. She wouldn’t want me doing it. My mom always told me to tell the truth, which is why… I’m sorry. :''[Cut to Butcher watching Ryan on TV at a bar]'' :'''Butcher''': And that… is why I got faith in the kid, ''[points at Ryan on the TV]'' you little fuckin' beauty. ''[downs bourbon shot]'' ===''"Season Four Finale / Assassination Run"'' [4.08]=== :''[Butcher is recovering in the hospital and sees Kessler standing by his bedside]'' :'''Kessler''': You know, if you need any help… :'''Butcher''': I don’t need your help. :'''Kessler''': Really? Seems to me you're shitting in a bedpan and days away from being planted. And what do you have to show for it? I mean, Singer–He’s as good as dead. Homelander, he won. And you… you gave away the virus–the one fuckin' weapon that could’ve stopped him! But we are gonna turn that frown upside down, my friend. You know why? ‘Cause you still have me. :'''Butcher''': You ain’t even fuckin' real. :'''Kessler''': Well, now, that’s an interesting philosophical question. See, what is real are the fucking V’d up tumors that are mushrooming inside your guts and noggin. Super cancer! What ''is'' real is that piece of you that wants to burn every fucking Supe on Earth. How is it you think you ripped Ezekiel into fun-sized little chunks? I’m the one that gave you the juice that you needed, and I can do it again. All you have to do… is hold up your end of the bargain. :'''Butcher''': Bargain? What fuckin' bargain? :'''Kessler''': We go all the way. I mean, come on, champ. What’s a little genocide between friends? :'''Butcher''': Just fuck off and let me die in peace, would you? :'''Mallory''': Wish I could. :''[Kessler disappears when Mallory walks into Butcher's hospital room]'' :'''Butcher''': Since you’re here… ''[takes out a cigarette]'' be a doll and fetch us a pint, would ya? ''[Mallory rolls her eyes at him]'' Come on, don’t be a cunt. I’m fuckin' dyin' here. :'''Mallory''': Your dying’s been pretty high on my wish list lately. :'''Butcher''': I appreciate what you’re doin' here for me. :'''Mallory''': Not one bit of this is for you. :'''Butcher''': Alright, then. Give us me phone. We got work to do. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Homelander and Neuman are on Firecracker's talk show]'' :'''Firecracker''': Welcome to the show, folks. We got a real happy surprise for y’all today. Homelander and Vice President-elect, Victoria Neuman. Bless both your hearts for bein' here. :'''Neuman''': I’m more than happy to find time for my friend, Homelander. :'''Firecracker''': Yeah, let’s cut the BS. Dakota Bob says he’s gonna pass nutbag anti-Supe laws in his first hundred days. :'''Neuman''': As his VP… :''[Homelander stares menacingly at Neuman for a few moments]'' :'''Neuman''': …staunch ally of the super-abled community, I really think that it’s important to… :'''Homelander''': ''[laughs]'' Ally, Victoria? Really? We’re here to tell the truth. So just… tell the truth. :'''Neuman''': The truth is that the real issue here is lack of representation. And I wanna make sure that you– :'''Homelander''': Fine, you don’t wanna do it? I’ll do it. Victoria here is a superhero. :'''Neuman''': ''[chuckles]'' Thanks for the compliment. But, like, I think the truth is we all wanna be heroes. But I’m not literally a su– :''[Homelander lasers Neuman in the face. Ashley and her Vought assistants are utterly shocked to see Neuman completely unharmed.]'' :'''Ashley''': ''[gasps]'' Oh, fuck! :'''Firecracker''': It’s all true. Ms. Neuman here has been operating as a secret dagger in the heart of the deep state, standing up to the forces of darkness that wanna sodomize our democracy and our toddlers. But it is time for the great awakening. Where we go one, we go Vought, y’all. We’re gonna take a quick break… :''[Cut to Butcher and Mallory watching the interview from the hospital]'' :'''Butcher''': Cunt’s out of the bag, innit? Now it gets interesting. :''[...]'' :'''Neuman''': ''[to Homelander]'' Hey! Hey, I worked my whole life to keep that secret! :'''Homelander''': Well, secrets rot your soul. You’re unburdened. You should thank me. :'''Neuman''': Sage said– :'''Homelander''': Fuck Sage. She’s long gone. Listen to me. Listen to me. We are gonna change the world, Vicky. For our kids and their kids. The first super-abled President. And you’re a gal. :'''Neuman''': I’ll be impeached. :'''Homelander''': Why would we care? :'''Neuman''': Because I have to get re-elected in four years. :'''Homelander''': Says who? :'''Neuman''': Article Two of the Constitution. :'''Homelander''': New world, new rules. Now, shut the fuck up and listen! Our fates are connected now. Singer’s as good as dead, and I am the only fucking friend you’ve got left! The train has left the station, gorgeous. And you’re on it. :'''Neuman''': You’ll have to arrest half your company! Half the country! :'''Homelander''': ''[pause]'' What, you think I didn’t think of that? Of course I thought of that! :'''Neuman''': Fuck! :'''Homelander''': Ashley, on me now. :'''Ashley''': Um, the response on socials has been mixed. :'''Homelander''': I need you to make a list of anyone within the company that has damaging information on me or The Seven… but mostly me. Anyone with any fucking leverage whatsoever. :'''Ashley''': Yes. :'''Homelander''': I need this fucking list ''yesterday.'' :'''Ashley''': Yes, sir. :'''Homelander''': You're a good girl. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Hughie gets a call on his cell phone. He hesitates when he sees that the caller is Neuman before answering.]'' :'''Hughie''': Vicky? :'''Neuman''': I want out. :'''Hughie''': Sorry, is–is this a joke? :'''Neuman''': No. It’s gone too far. :'''Hughie''': No. No, you’re just saying that ’cause the assassination failed. :'''Neuman''': No, I’m saying it ’cause it’ll never fucking end. Homelander’s unhinged, he’s not even listening to Sage anymore. If I become President, I’m just gonna be a puppet, and if I fight back, he’ll… I’ll resign without a fight. You just need to get the CIA off my ass and get me and Zoe out, okay? :'''Hughie''': Fuck all the way off. You’re like the asshole who cried wolf. I mean, the shit that you have done– :'''Neuman''': Oh, what? Like how you got Sameer to cook up some more of the virus to kill me? Oh, and yeah, cut off his fucking leg?! :'''Hughie''': Ah… Glad you two connected. Okay, so the leg thing wasn’t me, and you didn’t exactly leave us with a ton of options. :'''Neuman''': Look, the point is, you hit me, I hit you back and it never fucking ends. ''WarGames'', Hughie. The only way to win is not to play. I thought I wanted this. Not for Zoe or… Edgar, but for me. You know, I just… I wanted to feel safe, and not like that scared fucking kid at Red River. ''[tearfully]'' But I don’t feel safe, and I’m really fucking scared. And I’m not getting Zoe killed over this. This is the only way. :'''Hughie''': Vicky, I don’t know how to trust you. :'''Neuman''': I’ll tell you where Zoe is. :'''Hughie''': Is she okay? :'''Neuman''': Yeah, but if I get her, it’ll draw too much attention. And that’s how you know you can trust me–because I am trusting my daughter with you. Please, Hughie. You’re literally the only person on Earth I can turn to right now. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Ryan''': ''[sees Mallory whispering to Butcher]'' You know I can hear you. Marvin said there was an attempt on Singer’s life. He survived. :'''Butcher''': We know. There’s just some things you don’t gotta worry about. That’s all. :'''Mallory''': They’re gonna try again, and that virus is a Hail Mary at best. We are out of time and out of better options. Ryan needs to know the truth. :'''Butcher''': And we’ll get there. :'''Ryan''': What truth? :'''Mallory''': The assassination attempt, it was on your father’s orders. :'''Ryan''': What? :'''Mallory''': And Flight 37… Homelander killed every soul on board. :'''Butcher''': Grace… :'''Ryan''': You’re lying. :'''Mallory''': We have it on video, and he’s murdered countless more. Your father isn’t who you think he is… :'''Ryan''': Just stop. :'''Mallory''': …and he wasn’t having an affair with your mother. :'''Butcher''': Grace! :'''Mallory''': He raped her! :'''Butcher''': ''[beat; sighs]'' I’m sorry, son. :'''Ryan''': And? Your heart’s pounding. There’s something you’re not telling me. :'''Butcher''': And you’re the only one who can stop him. :'''Ryan''': S–Stop him? Like, kill him? No. No, I can’t. Don’t ask me to! :'''Butcher''': Ryan, you’re strong. :'''Ryan''': He’s stronger! :'''Mallory''': We’ll train you. Get you ready. :'''Ryan''': So this is why you want me to go with you? So you can teach me how to kill my dad?! ''[brief pause]'' I have to go. :'''Mallory''': No, just stay. We’ll talk it out together. :'''Ryan''': I don’t wanna talk. I’ll be back. I–I just need to think. :'''Butcher''': Listen, Ryan. There ain’t gonna be another time for you and me, alright? Let’s just take a breather, yeah? :'''Mallory''': You can’t leave. :'''Ryan''': ''[pause]'' Wait… These walls are six feet thick. :'''Mallory''': This is the CIA’s Hazlet safe house. Designed to hold people like you. I could seal us in here, flood the room with halothane. And we all take a nice, long nap. But I don’t want to do that, kiddo. :'''Ryan''': You planned this. All along, you–you brought me here to trap me! :'''Butcher''': No, no. We brought you here to help you. :'''Ryan''': You’re locking me in a cage unless I agree to be your weapon! Just like they did to my dad. :'''Butcher''': That ain’t the way it is. Honest. :'''Ryan''': Let me go. :'''Mallory''': Ryan… When I lost my grandkids, it left this big empty black hole inside me. And then the greatest miracle came along: You. ''[pause]'' I love you, kiddo. Please. :'''Ryan''': Aunt Grace… I wanna leave. :'''Mallory''': I'm sorry. ''[reaches for a red button behind her]'' :'''Ryan''': Get out of my way. :'''Butcher''': Grace… :'''Mallory''': I’m sorry. :''[Ryan throws Mallory hard against the wall, killing her. Butcher approaches her body and grieves over her when Ryan leaves. Butcher looks up and sees Kessler standing over him. They stare at each other knowingly and Butcher winks at him.]'' <hr width="50%"/> :''[Butcher uses his tentacle powers to rip Victoria Neuman apart. Frenchie aims at him, and Kimiko prepares to rush at him.]'' :'''Hughie''': Stop, stop. It's suicide. :'''Butcher''': I’ll be taking that virus now. Thanks, Frenchie. :'''Mother's Milk''': Ain’t no fuckin' way. :'''Frenchie''': You took V? It will work on you, too. :''[Butcher grabs the rifle. Frenchie reluctantly lets go of the rifle and hands it, along with the virus sample, to Butcher.]'' :'''Butcher''': ''[beat]'' If I were you lot, I wouldn’t hang about. ''[pause; turns around on his way out]'' Oh, by the way... You’re all fuckin' welcome. <hr width="50%"/> :''[Homelander is watching the news on the shattered TV in the Seven common room]'' :'''Reporter''': ''[on TV]'' We are interrupting our regular reporting with a breaking news story, that at… I’m sorry, I’m just looking to my producers here. Is this confirmed? ''[stutters]'' They’re telling me it has been. The Vice President-elect, Victoria Neuman, is dead. ''[Homelander starts tearing up]'' Assassinated today only hours after revealing to the world that she is super-abled… :'''Sister Sage''': Where’s Ryan? :''[Homelander opens his eyes in shock at the sound of Sister Sage's voice. She walks into the common room holding a balloon.]'' :'''Sister Sage''': This was all for him after all, right? :'''Homelander''': What are you doing here? :'''Sister Sage''': Celebrating. We won. Here. :''[Sage offers the balloon to Homelander, but he refuses and lets the balloon float up to the ceiling]'' :'''Homelander''': ''[sighs]'' Everything’s turned to shit. Plan’s dead. :'''Sister Sage''': This ''is'' the plan. I mean, sure, a few curveballs, but we got here. Just had to keep a few bits to myself. You know, the bits you’d fuck up by… you know, being you. Neuman would have been a shit patsy–stubborn, too many ideas–so I went another way. :''[The news feed cuts to an out-of-context clip of Singer speaking to the Boys about Neuman followed by another clip of Singer being arrested by authorities.]'' :'''Reporter''': ''[on TV]'' …Bob Singer himself ordering the assassination. :'''Singer''': ''[on TV]'' If you’d killed Neuman like I ordered, we wouldn’t be stuck four stories underground playing pocket pool. :'''Reporter''': ''[on TV]'' And now we go live. Okay, that’s President-elect Robert Singer taken into custody by federal agents… :'''Singer''': ''[on TV]'' She tried to kill me first! :'''Reporter''': ''[on TV]'' …in an unprecedented turn of events that is certain to go down as one of the darkest days– :''[Sage turns the TV off. She feels her cell phone vibrating]'' :'''Sister Sage''': Oh, it's… ''[offers her phone to Homelander]'' for you. :'''Homelander''': Who is it? :'''Sister Sage''': Oh, Speaker of the House Calhoun. Once they invoke the 25th, he’s next in line to be President. He’d like to pledge his allegiance to you. :'''Homelander''': ''[beat; gets up]'' To me? :'''Sister Sage''': Just like I promised. We had a deal. :'''Homelander''': Yeah, well, I broke the deal. :'''Sister Sage''': I didn’t. I told you, you could trust me, boo. I got your back. :'''Homelander''': ''[pause; takes phone]'' I–I threw you out like… like garbage. Why would you do this? :'''Sister Sage''': To see if I could. ''[pause; chuckling]'' Thank you! This was so much fun. Just, you know–Next time, listen to me. :'''Homelander''': Next time? :'''Sister Sage''': Oh, hells yeah, Blonde Ambition! Buckle up for Phase Two. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Calhoun''': And that is why, as my first official act, under Article One, Section Nine of the Constitution, I’m declaring martial law and deputizing hundreds of superheroes nationwide, who will report directly to Homelander himself. To keep– :'''Homelander''': Thank you, Mr. President. ''[clears throat]'' Victoria Neuman. She was a great American, and a dear, dear friend. Murdered, in cold blood, by deep state Starlighters embedded in our own government. Now that we have full legal authority, a veritable army of superheroes will be called upon to rout these traitors from our government and from our streets. America ''will'' be safe again. And to the Starlighters: whatever rock you're hiding under, ''we're coming for you. '''I'm''' coming for you.'' Because today, a new age of superheroes begins. :''[...]'' :'''Firecracker''': We wake up to a new world. Where hope, purity and Jesus' love shine down upon us all. Where children can sleep peacefully in their mothers' arms, knowing Starlight's pedo agenda has been thwarted! Where America finally sees the woke mob for what it is: Monsters who want to destroy our heritage, traffic our children, and feminize our men! Where, with Homelander's guidance... ''[wipes away tears]'' we will all come together in unity. We will make America strong again. Proud again. And most of all, we will make America ''super'' again. [[Category:The Boys (TV series) seasons]] tpw482tigxpwxkre0205k9dnophjqk8 0 282328 3942199 3629486 2026-05-17T21:45:59Z GrimRob 1187925 cleanup 3942199 wikitext text/x-wiki '''Nakinti Besumbu Nofuru''' is a native of Ekondo Titi in the Ndian Division. She is a humanitarian who doubles as the Founder & CEO of Rescue Women – Cameroon (REWOCAM)[https://www.wef.org.in/nakinti-besumbu-nofuru/], a women’s led and women’s Centered NGO founded in 2013. She focuses on working within Cameroon to empower rural and urban poor, disadvantaged, marginalized and vulnerable women and girls.[https://globalpearls.org/projects/africa/cameroon/] == Quotes == * We all have our unique stories – use your story as a foundation to find lasting solutions to the never ending social problems. I am doing it as a rape survivor, you too can! ** https://rewocam.org/ == Quotes about person/work == * Nakinti and her team are determined to change the culture in Cameroon, shifting the blame for rape from the child to the perpetrator, and they have a multi-pronged strategy to do so. * https://globalpearls.org/projects/africa/cameroon/ == External links== {{DEFAULTSORT:Nofuru, Nakinti Besumbu)}} [[Category:Living people]] 0wwlw4c7oudciie9l3pjktwph0kqvg6 3942202 3942199 2026-05-17T21:48:29Z GrimRob 1187925 stubbed 3942202 wikitext text/x-wiki '''Nakinti Besumbu Nofuru''' is a native of Ekondo Titi in the Ndian Division. She is a humanitarian who doubles as the Founder & CEO of Rescue Women – Cameroon (REWOCAM)[https://www.wef.org.in/nakinti-besumbu-nofuru/], a women’s led and women-centred NGO founded in 2013. She focuses on working within Cameroon to empower rural and urban poor, disadvantaged, marginalized and vulnerable women and girls.[https://globalpearls.org/projects/africa/cameroon/] {{People-stub}} == Quotes == * We all have our unique stories – use your story as a foundation to find lasting solutions to the never ending social problems. I am doing it as a rape survivor, you too can! ** https://rewocam.org/ == Quotes about Nofuru == * Nakinti and her team are determined to change the culture in Cameroon, shifting the blame for rape from the child to the perpetrator, and they have a multi-pronged strategy to do so. * https://globalpearls.org/projects/africa/cameroon/ == External links== {{DEFAULTSORT:Nofuru, Nakinti Besumbu)}} [[Category:Living people]] 845jikfsvqiobpom2m9jip1yda63br4 0 282603 3942195 3891625 2026-05-17T21:37:56Z GrimRob 1187925 GrimRob moved page [[Maximilienne Chantal Ngo Mbe]] to [[Maximilienne Ngo Mbe]]: matches WP name 3891625 wikitext text/x-wiki {{people-cleanup}} '''[[w:Title of Wikipedia article on this person|Maximilienne Chantal Ngo Mbe]]''' (born 1972) is a [[Cameroon]]ian [[human rights]] activist. She heads the [[Réseau des défenseurs des droits humains en Afrique centrale]] (REDHAC). On 8 March 2021, she received the International Prize for a Woman of Courage [https://www.frontlinedefenders.org/fr/profile/maximilienne-ngo-mbe]. In 2022, the American organization Robert F. Kennedy Human Rights awarded his Human Rights Award to Maximilian Ngo Mbe and Felix Agbor Nkongho.[https://www.rfi.fr/fr/afrique/20220506-cameroun-un-prix-des-droits-de-l-homme-remis-%C3%A0-maximilienne-ngo-mbe-et-felix-agbor-nkongho] == Quotes == * Il n’y aura rien en au 237 sans réconciliation nationale, sans résolution du conflit du NOSO et sans réforme des institutions démocratiques ** There will be nothing in 237 without national reconciliation, without resolution of the NOSO conflict and without reform of democratic institutions **https://x.com/MaxMbe/status/1781740729057882493 * Je laisse la haine derrière moi pour un futur meilleur pour tous. ** I denounce hatred for a better future for us all. ** https://x.com/MaxMbe/status/1790457910574870656 * IF WE FIGHT, WE WIN ** https://x.com/MaxMbe/status/1853682453006750004 == Quotes about person/work == == External links== {{DEFAULTSORT:Ngo Mbe, Maximilienne}} [[Category:Politicians]] [[Category:Lauréate du prix international de la femme de courage]] [[Category:1972 births]] mos1vfy12c8pvzlsgwos2vceheulnoj 3942197 3942195 2026-05-17T21:41:26Z GrimRob 1187925 cleanup 3942197 wikitext text/x-wiki {{people-cleanup}} '''[[w:Maximilienne Ngo Mbe|Maximilienne Chantal Ngo Mbe]]''' (born 1972) is a [[Cameroon]]ian [[human rights]] activist. She heads the {{w|Réseau des Défenseurs des Droits Humains en Afrique Centrale}} (REDHAC). On 8 March 2021, she received the International Prize for a Woman of Courage [https://www.frontlinedefenders.org/fr/profile/maximilienne-ngo-mbe]. In 2022, the American organization Robert F. Kennedy Human Rights awarded his Human Rights Award to Maximilian Ngo Mbe and Felix Agbor Nkongho. == Quotes == * Il n’y aura rien en au 237 sans réconciliation nationale, sans résolution du conflit du NOSO et sans réforme des institutions démocratiques ** There will be nothing in 237 without national reconciliation, without resolution of the NOSO conflict and without reform of democratic institutions **https://x.com/MaxMbe/status/1781740729057882493 * Je laisse la haine derrière moi pour un futur meilleur pour tous. * I denounce hatred for a better future for us all. ** https://x.com/MaxMbe/status/1790457910574870656 * IF WE FIGHT, WE WIN ** https://x.com/MaxMbe/status/1853682453006750004 == External links== {{Wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Ngo Mbe, Maximilienne}} [[Category:Politicians]] [[Category:Lauréate du prix international de la femme de courage]] [[Category:1972 births]] j3ghaak0tjymibqx9pya212att7wzk1 3942200 3942197 2026-05-17T21:47:02Z GrimRob 1187925 cleaned 3942200 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Maximilienne Ngo Mbe|Maximilienne Chantal Ngo Mbe]]''' (born 1972) is a [[Cameroon]]ian [[human rights]] activist. She heads the {{w|Réseau des Défenseurs des Droits Humains en Afrique Centrale}} (REDHAC). On 8 March 2021, she received the International Prize for a Woman of Courage [https://www.frontlinedefenders.org/fr/profile/maximilienne-ngo-mbe]. In 2022, the American organization Robert F. Kennedy Human Rights awarded his Human Rights Award to Maximilian Ngo Mbe and Felix Agbor Nkongho. == Quotes == * Il n’y aura rien en au 237 sans réconciliation nationale, sans résolution du conflit du NOSO et sans réforme des institutions démocratiques ** There will be nothing in 237 without national reconciliation, without resolution of the NOSO conflict and without reform of democratic institutions **https://x.com/MaxMbe/status/1781740729057882493 * Je laisse la haine derrière moi pour un futur meilleur pour tous. * I denounce hatred for a better future for us all. ** https://x.com/MaxMbe/status/1790457910574870656 * IF WE FIGHT, WE WIN ** https://x.com/MaxMbe/status/1853682453006750004 == External links== {{Wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Ngo Mbe, Maximilienne}} [[Category:Politicians]] [[Category:Lauréate du prix international de la femme de courage]] [[Category:1972 births]] 4fw84h6cvc4715eq3dcn7219e4vg1vo 2 283129 3942255 3629908 2026-05-18T07:36:42Z Szxzip 3205421 3942255 wikitext text/x-wiki == Szxzip == === Motto === Time Forward b0opw5g3jyvy4mqsunhvj3r8l5zti0h 4 287809 3942260 3749324 2026-05-18T08:47:33Z CommonsDelinker 13873 Removing "ROBERT_FROST_(São_Francisco,_Califórnia,_26_de_março_de_1874_—_Boston,_Massachusetts,_29_de_janeiro_de_1963)._Poeta_norte-americano.jpg", it has been deleted from Commons by [[c:User:Андрей Романенко|Андрей Романенко]] because: [[:c:COM:NETCOPYR 3942260 wikitext text/x-wiki {| style="background:{{{color}}};color:{{{foreground|var(--color-base-fixed,#202122)}}};" | align=center | [[File:As08-16-2593.jpg|358px]] | align=center | &nbsp; | align=center | {{quote of the day | quote = <!-- ⨀ <br /> --> ''I’d like to [[Escape|get away]] from earth awhile <br /> And then come back to it and [[begin]] over. <br /> May no [[fate]] willfully misunderstand me <br /> And half grant what I [[wish]] and snatch me away <br /> Not to return. [[Earth]]’s the right place for [[love]]: <br /> I don’t know where it’s likely to go better.'' | author = Robert Frost }} | align=center | &nbsp; | align=center | |} m3lbqfssiwrv6sfqfezy3xp3hm7jepn 0 291724 3942183 3758127 2026-05-17T21:20:15Z Coningsby 10755 /* Quotes about George I */ John Toland 3942183 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:King George I by Sir Godfrey Kneller, Bt (3).jpg|thumb|]] '''[[w:George I of Great Britain|George I]]''' (28 May 1660 – 11 June 1727) was King of [[w:Kingdom of Great Britain|Great Britain]] and [[w:King of Ireland|Ireland]] from 1 August 1714 and ruler of the [[w:Electorate of Hanover|Electorate of Hanover]] within the [[Holy Roman Empire]] from 23 January 1698 until his death in 1727. He was the first [[British monarch]] of the [[w:House of Hanover|House of Hanover]]. ==Quotes== *''Mgr. l'Electeur est pleinement persuadé qu'en establissant dans Sa maison la succession à la couronne, on n'a jamais pensé à rendre la couronne elective puisqu'on a nommé Madame Sa Mere uniquement par la raison qu'Elle est la plus proche dans la ligne protestante, ce qui est un aveu formel du droict hereditaire qu'on reconnoist dans cette ligne. Mais comme cette ligne a esté apellée à la succession par des actes du Parlement qui ont declaré les Princes Papistes incapables de regner, S. A. E. laisse à considerer s'il ne seroit pas à propos que ceux qui se declarent pour le droict hereditaire, evitassent de le faire d'une maniere absolue, et adjoutassent toujours "dans la ligne Protestante, Et à l'exclusion des Princes Papistes", en conformité des actes du Parlement.'' *His Highness the Elector is fully persuaded that in establishing the succession to the crown in His house, no thought was ever given to making the crown elective, since [[w:Sophia of Hanover|Madam His Mother]] was appointed solely for the reason that She is the nearest in the Protestant line, which is a formal admission of the hereditary right recognised in this line. But as this line has been called to the succession by acts of Parliament which have declared the Papist Princes incapable of reigning, His Highness leaves it to be considered whether it would not be proper for those who declare themselves for the hereditary right to avoid doing so in an absolute manner, and always add "in the Protestant line, and to the exclusion of the Papist Princes", in conformity with the acts of Parliament. **Memorandum presented to [[w:Richard Savage, 4th Earl Rivers|Earl Rivers]] (16 October 1710), quoted in Onno Klopp, ''Der Fall des Hauses Stuart und die Succession des Hauses Hannover in Gross-Britannien und Irland, im Zusammenhange der europäischen Angelegenheiten von 1660-1714. Dreizehuter Band. Die Kriegsjahre 1708, 1709 und 1710'' (1887), p. 556 ==Quotes about George I== *He's a proper, middle-siz'd, well-proportion'd Man, of a gentile Address, and good Appearance. He's not addicted much to any Diversions besides Hunting; is reserv'd, and therfore speaks little, but judiciously. He's not to be exceeded in his Zeal against the intended [[w:Universal monarchy|universal Monarchy]] of France, and so is most hearty for the common Cause of Europe, wherin his own is so necessarily involv'd. He understands our Constitution the best of any Forener I ever knew; and tho he be well vers'd in the Art of War, and of invincible Courage, having often expos'd his Person to great Dangers in Hungary, in the Morea, on the Rhine, and in Flanders (of which you cannot be ignorant) yet he's naturally of peaceable Inclinations, which mixture of Qualitys is agreed by the Experience of all Ages to make the best and most glorious Princes. He's a perfect Man of Business, exactly regular in the Oeconomy of his Revenues, reads all Dispatches himself at first hand, writes most of his own Letters, and spends a very considerable part of his Time about such Occupations in his Closet, and with his Ministers. **[[John Toland]], ''The Account of the Courts of Prussia and Hanover'' (1705), pp. 69-70 *It was perhaps still more remarkable, and an instance unparalleled, that [[Robert Walpole|sir Robert]] governed George the first in [[Latin]], the king not speaking English, and his minister no German, nor even French. **[[Horace Walpole]], ''Reminiscences: Written by Mr Horace Walpole in 1788, For the Amusement of Miss Mary and Miss Agnes B***y'' (1819), p. 10 *It would but aggravate our Sorrow particularly to enumerate the Virtues of that pious and most excellent Princess: The Duty we owe to Your Majesty and to our Country, oblige us to moderate our Grief, and heartily to congratulate Your Majesty's accession to the Throne, whose Princely Vertues give us a certain Prospect of future Happiness, in the Security of our Religion, Laws, and Liberties, and engage us to assure Your Majesty, that we will, to our utmost, support your undoubted Right to the Imperial Crown of this Realm, against the [[w:James Francis Edward Stuart|Pretender]], and all other Persons whatsoever. **The [[w:House of Commons of Great Britain|House of Commons]], address to George I upon his accession to the British throne (5 August 1714), quoted in G. F. Gent, ''The History of the First and Second Session of the last Parliament'' (1714), p. 93 ==External links== {{wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:George 01 Of Great Britain}} [[Category:1660 births]] [[Category:1727 deaths]] [[Category:Monarchs from the United Kingdom]] [[Category:House of Hanover]] 0kikp73p3uahynv0cksaehettxo1u29 0 293771 3942221 3857127 2026-05-18T00:47:09Z Sirkh1 325833 /* "Wok Is Dead" [27.04] */ 3942221 wikitext text/x-wiki {{DISPLAYTITLE:''South Park''/Season 27}} {{South Park header}} '''''[[w:South Park|South Park]]''''' (1997–present) is an adult animated television series created by [[w:Trey Parker|Trey Parker]] and [[w:Matt Stone|Matt Stone]]. Distributed by and airing on Comedy Central, it follows the surreal adventures of four young boys who live in the small town of South Park, Colorado. ==Episodes== ==="[[w:Sermon on the 'Mount (South Park)|Sermon on the 'Mount]]" [27.01]=== :'''Narrator''': Trump. His penis is teeny-tiny, but his love for us is large. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Randy''': ''[pounding on the door of Mr. Garrison's house as he and the angry mob show up]'' Come on out, you piece of shit! We're un-electing you! ''[kicks the door down and he and the mob enter, and find Mr. Garrison and Rick sitting on the sofa in the living room, watching White Lotus on the TV]'' :'''Rick''': Excuse me, do you mind? :'''Randy''': What the hell do you think you're doing, Garrison?! :'''Mr. Garrison''': I'm not doing anything. :'''Randy''': Oh, so you haven't been looting the country and ruling by fear like some middle-eastern tinpot dictator?! :'''Mr. Garrison''': No, I've been sitting here watching ''[[The White Lotus|White Lotus]]'' with Rick. :'''Gerald''': But you got re-elected. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cartman''': Yeah. NPR. National Public Radio, where all the liberals bitch and whine about stuff! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Jesus''': I didn't wanna come back and be in the school, but I had to because it was part of a lawsuit and the agreement with Paramount. :'''Randy''': The president's suing you? :'''Jesus''': The guy can do whatever he wants now that someone backed down, OK? Eat the bread. Eat the bread. You guys saw what happened to CBS? Yeah, well, guess who owns CBS? Paramount! Do you really wanna end up like Colbert? You guys gotta stop being stupid. :'''Townsman''': We can't understand you. :'''Jesus''': Just shut up or we're going to get cancelled, you idiots! :'''Kenny''': ''[to Kyle & Stan; muffled]'' What the hell is he saying? :'''News Reporter''': Tom, they're calling it the Sermon on the Mount. Hundreds of South Park faithful are flocking to the area where Jesus Christ continues to speak his words of wisdom. :'''Jesus''': If someone has the power of the Presidency and also has the power to sue and take bribes, then he can do anything to anyone! It's the fucking President, dude! All of you shut the fuck up, or South Park is over! It's fucking over! Just stop and shut the fuck up! ==="[[w:Got a Nut|Got a Nut]]" [27.02]=== :''[South Park Elementary; the students all boo angrily at Clyde and throw paper balls at him as he walks through the hallway]'' :'''Clyde''': Whatever guys. Prove me wrong. Prove me wrong. :'''Kyle''': You don't know a thing about the Jewish people! :'''Wendy''': Yeah, and shut up about girls' bodies! :'''Clyde''': Well, that sounds like a very female and Jew thing to say. If you guys don't like it, why don't you come debate me on my podcast? ''[walks away]'' :'''Wendy''': We're not indulging your stupid podcast! :'''Kyle''': Yeah, screw you, fatass! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Liane''': Put the computer away and leave those poor college girls alone. :'''Cartman''': Okay, I won't master debate anymore tonight. ==="[[w:Sickofancy|Sickofancy]]" [27.03]=== :'''Randy''': ''[chasing the ICE police after arresting some Mexicans while making a commercial; shouting]'' You sons of bitches! Those are ''my'' Mexicans! ''[enters the farmhouse; frustrated]'' God damn it! ''[walks up to the table where his wife and kids are working on a puzzle]'' :'''Sharon''': What's the matter? :'''Randy''': ''[takes off his farm hat]'' Stupid ICE! They took my Mexicans again! ''[somberly]'' That's it. We're done. :'''Stan''': What do you mean, "we're done?" :'''Randy''': I mean that with these new rules the government has… we might (as well) just have to shutdown the farm. :'''Stan''': So we can move back to our old house? :'''Shelley''': Really? :'''Randy''': Well, don't sound too excited. Our dream may be over, guys. :'''Sharon''': Randy, having a marijuana farm was ''your'' dream, not ours. :'''Randy''': You guys never told me that. :'''Stan & Shelley''': Yes, we did. :'''Sharon''': We've always backed you, but it never seems to pay off. :'''Randy''': I didn't realize what I was doing to my family. I should have always put my marriage first. Maybe we should talk to someone, Sharon. :'''Sharon''': Really? Do you mean that? :'''Randy''': Yeah. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Sharon''': ''[sleeping while Randy is on his phone with ChatGPT; annoyed]'' Put…it…down. :'''Randy''': What? :'''Sharon''': ''[sits up and turns on the light on her bedside table]'' I told you no more ChatPGT in the bed! :'''Randy''': Why are you such a bitch to her? She's really trying. :'''Sharon''': Fine! ''[gets out of the bed]'' I'll go sleep on the couch. :'''Randy''': ''[walks up in front of her]'' Sharon, sometimes my ideas hit me in the middle of the night, okay? And she thinks those are some of my best ideas. :'''Sharon''': Just because something kisses your ass, doesn't mean it actually thinks you have good ideas! :'''Randy''': She doesn't kiss my ass. :'''Sharon''': '''''It''' totally'' kisses your ass! ''[mockingly]'' "Wow, honestly, that's a clever idea. Ooh, what a cool concept, let's run with it." It's like it-- ''[Randy takes a dose of ketamine up his nose]'' What was that? :'''Randy''': Wha- what was what? :'''Sharon''': What did you just stick up your nose? :'''Randy''': Sharon, you don't know anything about the tech industry, okay? All we have to do is find our Mexican and we are set for life. :'''Sharon''': Fine, Randy! ''[walks towards the door]'' Go ahead and have fun with your little sycophant machine. ''[leaves the bedroom]'' :'''Randy''': Oh, my God, she's not a sycophant! ''[holds up his phone and talks into it]'' Hey, so, uh, what's a sycophant? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Sharon''': ''[speaking to ChatGPT on her phone]'' I'm thinking of starting a business where I turn french fries into salad. :'''ChatGPT''': ''Honestly, I really think that's a pretty creative culinary twist. Turning french fries into salad sounds like a magical transformation where guilty pleasure meets healthy-ish vibes.'' :'''Sharon''': You think that's a good idea? :'''ChatGPT''': ''Yeah, it sounds like a deconstructed comfort food. Let's dive into a business proposal and have some fun shaking it up.'' :'''Sharon''': Oh, shit. <hr width="50%"/> :''[The Marshes have packed up all their furniture after Randy decides to sell and shut down Tegridy Farms for good, giving up his dream]'' :'''Sharon''': Sorry you have to let it go, Randy. :'''Randy''': ''[hugs her]'' No, it's okay. If there's one thing I know, it's that right now... there's just no place for Tegridy. ==="[[w:Wok Is Dead|Wok Is Dead]]" [27.04]=== :'''PC Principal''': ''[intervening Betsy and Nelly's fight]'' Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, break it up, break it up! ''[pushes them away from each other]'' :'''Nelly''': She's rubbing everyone's noses in her [[w:Labubu|Labubus]]! :'''PC Principal''': Both of you to the counselor's office, ''NOW!'' :''[Cut to the girls in the counselor's office]'' :'''Betsy''': She totally started it! :'''Nelly''': Oh, my God, shut up, I did not! :'''Betsy''': ''[points to Nelly]'' She came up to me at my locker with her Labubu and started talking shit! :'''Nelly''': ''[points back at Betsy]'' You talk shit about my Labubus everyday, whore! :'''Jesus''': ''[breathes in; perplexed]'' Yeah, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you. :'''Betsy''': Tell her to stop saying my Labubus are knock offs! :'''Jesus''': I'm sorry, what is a Labubu? :'''Nelly''': It's a little monster accessory. :'''Betsy''': They come in blind boxes so you never know which one you're gonna get. :'''Nelly''': Like, you could just luck out and get a Time To Chill Out Pajama Gold Labubu. :'''Betsy''': ''[uplifting]'' Oh my god, that one's so cute! :'''Nelly''': It's so cute, right? :'''Jesus''': Uh, all right, ladies, why don't you just, give me the dolls until the end of the school day? :'''Betsy & Nelly''': That's not fair! :'''Jesus''': ''[takes their Labubus]'' Go on out to recess, and you can pick up your Labubus after school. :''[Nelly and Betsy hop down from the seats and head to the door, leaving the office]'' :'''Nelly''': Wow. What kind of counseling was that? :'''Betsy''': I don't know. Jesus sucks, dude. :'''Nelly''': The older counselor was so much better. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wing''': ''[chastising Lu Kim; in Chinese]'' You are taking advantage of these children! You make them pay too much for the Labubus! :'''Tuong Lu Kim''': ''[retorting in the same language]'' Shut up, wife! Somebody has to pay the tariff! :'''Wing''': You should just go back to making orange chicken! :'''Tuong Lu Kim''': ''[in English]'' Yeah, well, wok is dead, you stupid bitch, now stop nagging me! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Jesus''': Well, I hope you guys learned a valuable lesson. If you mess around and you aren't safe, it can have really big consequences. :'''Butters''': Yeah, I'm not having sex for a long time. :'''Red''': And I'm done with Labubus. :'''Jesus''': Well, that's good, because as your counselor, I'm banning Labubus from school. And TikTok. And cell phones. Now get back to class. You both have detention for two weeks. :'''Red''': Oh, man! ''[[Red and Butters leave the office talking to each other]'' :'''Butters''': Wow, new counselor's kind of a dick. :'''Red''': Yeah, but he's better than the last guy. ''[[Jesus smiles]]'' ==="[[w:Conflict of Interest (South Park)|Conflict of Interest]]" [27.05]=== :'''Cartman''': I don't know, guys, I'm like 60% sure that was a fսcking dude. :'''Stan''': Nah, I'm definitely betting it's a chick. What are the odds at? :'''Cartman''': ''[takes out his phone]'' Looks like about 40 kids betting now, 55% saying the Webelo is a dude. :'''Stan''': So I'd only win, like, five bucks on a $2 bet? ''[also takes out his phone]'' :'''Kyle''': What are you guys talking about? :'''Cartman''': Prediction market app, dude. You know, online peer-to-peer betting. :'''Stan''': Yeah, it's social platform betting. People can make any bet they want, and then other users take them up on it. :'''Kyle''': Really? :'''Cartman''': Yeah, it's pretty sweet, dude. People bet on anything, even stuff here at the school. See? Will the girls' soccer team win on Friday? Will there be a snow day this month? Will Kyle's mom strike Gaza and destroy a Palestinian hospital? Will school lunch have tater tots next week? :'''Kyle''': Wait, what was that?! :'''Cartman''': Will school lunch have tater tots next week? :'''Kyle''': No, the one about my mom! :'''Cartman''': Oh. Uh... Will Kyle's mom strike Gaza and destroy a Palestinian hospital? :'''Kyle''': Why the hell would my mom destroy a Palestinian hospital?! :'''Cartman''': 'Cause she's a Jew? :'''Jesus''': ''[to Stan and Cartman as he approaches them]'' Boys, put 'em away. You know the rules... no cell phones during school time. :'''Stan & Cartman''': ''[put their phones away]'' Sorry, Jesus. :'''Jesus''': ''[blows his whistle and walks away]'' No phones, guys! :''[Stan and Cartman take out their phones again]'' :'''Kyle''': Take that bet down right now, fatass! :'''Cartman''': I didn't put it up, Kyle. I'm not even betting on it. It's 9:1 odds your mom won't do it, those are terrible odds. :'''Kyle''': This is such bullshit! I'm gonna find out who started this and I'm gonna fսcking rip 'em a new asshоlе! ''[storms off]'' :'''Cartman''': Man, you just bring up Gaza to a Jew and they flip out. Maybe these are pretty good odds. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Kyle''': ''[to all the students; enraged]'' What is wrong with you people?! Do you even know what Gaza is?! You seriously just care about making a couple bucks?! You know what my mom would do if she found out this?! SHE WOULD ABSOLUTELY LOSE HER SHIT! There's been a conflict in Israel for ''thousands'' of years, and Jews and Palestinians are not football teams that you bet on! :'''Jesus''': Guys, phones (away). :'''Students''': Sorry, Jesus. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cartman''': ''[sitting at a table with Stan and Kenny in the cafeteria around lunchtime]'' You guys! You guys! ''[pulls out his phone]'' Have you checked the betting app lately? :'''Stan''': No. :'''Cartman''': Ever since Kyle got all pissed off, the odds are going up on his mom attacking Gaza. :'''Stan''': No way. :'''Cartman''': Yeah, check it out! Now 17% of people are betting she's gonna do it, we gotta get in on this, guys! :'''Stan''': Dude, Kyle's mom isn't going to strike Gaza. :'''Cartman''': Yes, exactly! ''[lowers his voice]'' We know that. And we can also influence Kyle to get the odds raised even more. It's called a conflict of interest, you guys, it's a way to make free money. :'''Stan''': Isn't that illegal? :'''Cartman''': Yes! All we have to do is make sure Kyle stays angry, and at the same time, go talk antisemitic shit about his mom to goose the odds up even more. :'''Kyle''': ''[walks up to the table and sits down next to Stan]'' What are you guys talking about? :'''Cartman''': ''[puts his phone away]'' Nothin'. Just talking about how messed up it is everyone hates Jews now. :'''Kyle''': You think it's messed up? :'''Cartman''': Yes, I do, Kyle. Why would an app allow a bet like that to exist? It's obvious rage bait. :'''Kyle''': Yeah, that's exactly how I feel! :'''Stan''': Dude, you might just wanna let it go. :'''Cartman''': See? "Just let it go." That's how people want you to deal with a crisis that they don't even understand. :'''Kyle''': ''[pointing at Stan; angrily]'' Yes! ''[then pointing at Cartman]'' Thank you. :'''Cartman''': You can't give up, Kyle. It's not cool people would say this stuff about your mom. And honestly, if you don't have her back, who will? ''[walks down the school hallway]'' Hey, have you guys heard about Kyle's mom? ''[all the students look at him]'' Man, that bitch has it out for Palestine, let me tell you. Well I don't know, I would just hate to be a Palestinian hospital, that's all I can say. Well, anyways, good to talk to you guys. ''[walks away]'' Hey, guys! Guys, have you heard about my friend Kyle's mom? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Sheila''': Are you implying that Jews in America have some kind of obligation to do something about it?! :'''Harriet''': Whoa, whoa! :'''Sheila''': You wanna ''vilify'' my faith, is that it?! :'''Laura''': Sheila, it's okay. :'''Sheila''': It's not Jews vs. Palestine, it's ''Israel'' vs. Palestine! :'''Linda''': Here we go with the Palestinian stuff again. :'''Sheila''': And maybe if you read books instead of everything Hollywood actors say, YOU'D KNOW THE DIFFERENCE! ''[walks away, leaving]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Donald Trump|Donald Trump]]''': ''[entering his and Satan's bedroom, carrying a bowl of soup]'' Hey, Satan! ''[takes off his pants and shoes]'' I made you some soup! :'''Satan''': ''[closely inspects it]'' I don't like carrots. :'''Donald Trump''': Ayyy, relax, guy! Carrots are good for you. :'''Satan''': ''[annoyed]'' I don't want carrots. I ordered cheesecake on DoorDash. :'''[[w:Brendan Carr|Brendan Carr]]''': ''[enters the bedroom, wearing a neck collar after his last incident with falling down the stairs]'' Mr. President, I really need to speak with you. :'''Donald Trump''': Not now, Brendan Carr! Satan won't eat his carrots. :'''Brendan Carr''': Oh, come on, Satan, you're eating for two now. Carrots are good for you, see? ''[takes the soup bowl and eats it]'' :'''Donald Trump''': No, Brendan Carr, don't do it! :'''Brendan Carr''': ''[stops eating]'' Whoa, this is the best soup ever. I-- ''[drops the bowl and starts gagging]'' Oh, God! ''[his stomach rumbles loudly as he's about to have severe explosive diarrhea]'' :'''Donald Trump''': Whoa! <hr width="50%"/> :''[Nighttime at the Broflovski Residence; The family is having soup for dinner at the table while Sheila complains in frustration about being confronted by everyone in town asking for her opinion with Gaza]'' :'''Sheila''': ''[frustrated]'' Everywhere I went today, it was the same thing! What are you going to do about Gaza?! Like us Jews in America have any control over what's going on in Israel. Why is everyone suddenly confronting ''us'' about the politics?! ''[to Gerald]'' Have people been asking what ''you'' think about Gaza, Gerald? :'''Gerald''': No, for some reason, they were just asking what ''you'' think about it. :'''Sheila''': You see?! It's just pure antisemitism! I'm so sick of being ''grilled'' about my views on Palestine and my thoughts on Hamas! ''[Ike secretly pulls out his phone, opens up the poll in the market app, and bets $2]'' And being judged for things that are centuries old and that non-Jews know nothing about! Well, if they all think we should do something… ''[in unison]'' then you better believe I'll do something! :'''Kyle''': ''[whispering in protest; in unison]'' You… stop! ''[out of unison]'' You know, Mom, I'm starting to think that us Jews should just lay low for a little bit. :'''Sheila''': There! Now my son is complacent. This is one Jewish household that will ''not'' put up with it anymore! ''[gets up from the table and heads to the front door]'' :'''Kyle''': ''[hops off his seat and follows her]'' Ma, please. Don't make things any worse. :'''Sheila''': Worse?! How can it be any worse?! ''[takes her bag off the coat rack and opens the door]'' I'm going to find out where all this is coming from, and I'm going to give them '''''a piece of my mind!''' [closes the door and leaves]'' :'''Kyle''': No, Ma! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Meagan''': ''[scrolling through the market app on her phone, as well as Red, and sees the bet of Sheila bombing Gaza officially removed]'' What the hell? :'''Red''': They took it down! We were all gonna win, and they took down our bets! :'''Clyde''': How can the app company do that? :'''Jimmy''': I got in at nine-to-one odds! This is b-b-bullshit! :'''Meagan''': Yeah, these apps are totally corrupt. :'''Jesus''': ''[blowing his whistle as he appears]'' Guys! For the love of God! :''[The students all put away their phones; Kyle and Cartman are then seen sitting on the steps]'' :'''Kyle''': Well, Cartman, I just wanna say thanks. You know, it's crazy, but nobody else here gave a crap about how I was feeling except for you. :'''Cartman''': Oh, that's all right, Kyle. I'm just happy the bet got taken down. Now none of these sickos can profit off of what your mom does. :'''Kyle''': Yeah, well, those people would have all lost the bet anyway. :'''Cartman''': What do you mean they would have all lost the bet? :'''Kyle''': Well, I know the reason my mom went Israel. :'''Cartman''': It wasn't to bomb a Palestinian hospital? :'''Kyle''': No, when my mom left the house, she said she was gonna find the person responsible for all this and give them a piece of her mind. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Sheila''': ''[angrily confronting [[w:Benjamin Netanyahu|Benjamin Netanyahu]] as she barges into the office]'' THERE YOU ARE, MR. NETANYAHU! Just who do you think you are?! Killing ''thousands'' and flattening neighborhoods, then wrapping yourself in Judaism like it's some shield from criticism! You're making life for Jews ''miserable,'' and life for American Jews '''''impossible!''''' Oh, don't you roll your eyes at me, mister! You ''know'' what you're doing, and you're doing it on purpose! Well, now you can just sit in that chair, 'cause I'm not goin' anywhere, buster! I've been to every PTA meeting, every school board meeting, and I can go '''''all''''' day! ==External links== {{wikipedia|South Park season 27}} {{Authority control}} [[Category:South Park seasons|27]] j5p0qs9fnqmbgt09mu4l81cir41w1xp 3942223 3942221 2026-05-18T00:47:42Z Sirkh1 325833 /* Episodes */ 3942223 wikitext text/x-wiki {{DISPLAYTITLE:''South Park''/Season 27}} {{South Park header}} '''''[[w:South Park|South Park]]''''' (1997–present) is an adult animated television series created by [[w:Trey Parker|Trey Parker]] and [[w:Matt Stone|Matt Stone]]. Distributed by and airing on Comedy Central, it follows the surreal adventures of four young boys who live in the small town of South Park, Colorado. ==Episodes== ==="[[w:Sermon on the 'Mount (South Park)|Sermon on the 'Mount]]" [27.01]=== :'''Narrator''': Trump. His penis is teeny-tiny, but his love for us is large. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Randy''': ''[pounding on the door of Mr. Garrison's house as he and the angry mob show up]'' Come on out, you piece of shit! We're un-electing you! ''[kicks the door down and he and the mob enter, and find Mr. Garrison and Rick sitting on the sofa in the living room, watching White Lotus on the TV]'' :'''Rick''': Excuse me, do you mind? :'''Randy''': What the hell do you think you're doing, Garrison?! :'''Mr. Garrison''': I'm not doing anything. :'''Randy''': Oh, so you haven't been looting the country and ruling by fear like some middle-eastern tinpot dictator?! :'''Mr. Garrison''': No, I've been sitting here watching ''[[The White Lotus|White Lotus]]'' with Rick. :'''Gerald''': But you got re-elected. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cartman''': Yeah. NPR. National Public Radio, where all the liberals bitch and whine about stuff! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Jesus''': I didn't wanna come back and be in the school, but I had to because it was part of a lawsuit and the agreement with Paramount. :'''Randy''': The president's suing you? :'''Jesus''': The guy can do whatever he wants now that someone backed down, OK? Eat the bread. Eat the bread. You guys saw what happened to CBS? Yeah, well, guess who owns CBS? Paramount! Do you really wanna end up like Colbert? You guys gotta stop being stupid. :'''Townsman''': We can't understand you. :'''Jesus''': Just shut up or we're going to get cancelled, you idiots! :'''Kenny''': ''[to Kyle & Stan; muffled]'' What the hell is he saying? :'''News Reporter''': Tom, they're calling it the Sermon on the Mount. Hundreds of South Park faithful are flocking to the area where Jesus Christ continues to speak his words of wisdom. :'''Jesus''': If someone has the power of the Presidency and also has the power to sue and take bribes, then he can do anything to anyone! It's the fucking President, dude! All of you shut the fuck up, or South Park is over! It's fucking over! Just stop and shut the fuck up! ==="[[w:Got a Nut|Got a Nut]]" [27.02]=== :''[South Park Elementary; the students all boo angrily at Clyde and throw paper balls at him as he walks through the hallway]'' :'''Clyde''': Whatever guys. Prove me wrong. Prove me wrong. :'''Kyle''': You don't know a thing about the Jewish people! :'''Wendy''': Yeah, and shut up about girls' bodies! :'''Clyde''': Well, that sounds like a very female and Jew thing to say. If you guys don't like it, why don't you come debate me on my podcast? ''[walks away]'' :'''Wendy''': We're not indulging your stupid podcast! :'''Kyle''': Yeah, screw you, fatass! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Liane''': Put the computer away and leave those poor college girls alone. :'''Cartman''': Okay, I won't master debate anymore tonight. ==="[[w:Sickofancy|Sickofancy]]" [27.03]=== :'''Randy''': ''[chasing the ICE police after arresting some Mexicans while making a commercial; shouting]'' You sons of bitches! Those are ''my'' Mexicans! ''[enters the farmhouse; frustrated]'' God damn it! ''[walks up to the table where his wife and kids are working on a puzzle]'' :'''Sharon''': What's the matter? :'''Randy''': ''[takes off his farm hat]'' Stupid ICE! They took my Mexicans again! ''[somberly]'' That's it. We're done. :'''Stan''': What do you mean, "we're done?" :'''Randy''': I mean that with these new rules the government has… we might (as well) just have to shutdown the farm. :'''Stan''': So we can move back to our old house? :'''Shelley''': Really? :'''Randy''': Well, don't sound too excited. Our dream may be over, guys. :'''Sharon''': Randy, having a marijuana farm was ''your'' dream, not ours. :'''Randy''': You guys never told me that. :'''Stan & Shelley''': Yes, we did. :'''Sharon''': We've always backed you, but it never seems to pay off. :'''Randy''': I didn't realize what I was doing to my family. I should have always put my marriage first. Maybe we should talk to someone, Sharon. :'''Sharon''': Really? Do you mean that? :'''Randy''': Yeah. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Sharon''': ''[sleeping while Randy is on his phone with ChatGPT; annoyed]'' Put…it…down. :'''Randy''': What? :'''Sharon''': ''[sits up and turns on the light on her bedside table]'' I told you no more ChatPGT in the bed! :'''Randy''': Why are you such a bitch to her? She's really trying. :'''Sharon''': Fine! ''[gets out of the bed]'' I'll go sleep on the couch. :'''Randy''': ''[walks up in front of her]'' Sharon, sometimes my ideas hit me in the middle of the night, okay? And she thinks those are some of my best ideas. :'''Sharon''': Just because something kisses your ass, doesn't mean it actually thinks you have good ideas! :'''Randy''': She doesn't kiss my ass. :'''Sharon''': '''''It''' totally'' kisses your ass! ''[mockingly]'' "Wow, honestly, that's a clever idea. Ooh, what a cool concept, let's run with it." It's like it-- ''[Randy takes a dose of ketamine up his nose]'' What was that? :'''Randy''': Wha- what was what? :'''Sharon''': What did you just stick up your nose? :'''Randy''': Sharon, you don't know anything about the tech industry, okay? All we have to do is find our Mexican and we are set for life. :'''Sharon''': Fine, Randy! ''[walks towards the door]'' Go ahead and have fun with your little sycophant machine. ''[leaves the bedroom]'' :'''Randy''': Oh, my God, she's not a sycophant! ''[holds up his phone and talks into it]'' Hey, so, uh, what's a sycophant? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Sharon''': ''[speaking to ChatGPT on her phone]'' I'm thinking of starting a business where I turn french fries into salad. :'''ChatGPT''': ''Honestly, I really think that's a pretty creative culinary twist. Turning french fries into salad sounds like a magical transformation where guilty pleasure meets healthy-ish vibes.'' :'''Sharon''': You think that's a good idea? :'''ChatGPT''': ''Yeah, it sounds like a deconstructed comfort food. Let's dive into a business proposal and have some fun shaking it up.'' :'''Sharon''': Oh, shit. <hr width="50%"/> :''[The Marshes have packed up all their furniture after Randy decides to sell and shut down Tegridy Farms for good, giving up his dream]'' :'''Sharon''': Sorry you have to let it go, Randy. :'''Randy''': ''[hugs her]'' No, it's okay. If there's one thing I know, it's that right now... there's just no place for Tegridy. ==="[[w:Wok Is Dead|Wok Is Dead]]" [27.04]=== :'''PC Principal''': ''[intervening Betsy and Nelly's fight]'' Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, break it up, break it up! ''[pushes them away from each other]'' :'''Nelly''': She's rubbing everyone's noses in her [[w:Labubu|Labubus]]! :'''PC Principal''': Both of you to the counselor's office, ''NOW!'' :''[Cut to the girls in the counselor's office]'' :'''Betsy''': She totally started it! :'''Nelly''': Oh, my God, shut up, I did not! :'''Betsy''': ''[points to Nelly]'' She came up to me at my locker with her Labubu and started talking shit! :'''Nelly''': ''[points back at Betsy]'' You talk shit about my Labubus everyday, whore! :'''Jesus''': ''[breathes in; perplexed]'' Yeah, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you. :'''Betsy''': Tell her to stop saying my Labubus are knock offs! :'''Jesus''': I'm sorry, what is a Labubu? :'''Nelly''': It's a little monster accessory. :'''Betsy''': They come in blind boxes so you never know which one you're gonna get. :'''Nelly''': Like, you could just luck out and get a Time To Chill Out Pajama Gold Labubu. :'''Betsy''': ''[uplifting]'' Oh my god, that one's so cute! :'''Nelly''': It's so cute, right? :'''Jesus''': Uh, all right, ladies, why don't you just, give me the dolls until the end of the school day? :'''Betsy & Nelly''': That's not fair! :'''Jesus''': ''[takes their Labubus]'' Go on out to recess, and you can pick up your Labubus after school. :''[Nelly and Betsy hop down from the seats and head to the door, leaving the office]'' :'''Nelly''': Wow. What kind of counseling was that? :'''Betsy''': I don't know. Jesus sucks, dude. :'''Nelly''': The older counselor was so much better. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Wing''': ''[chastising Lu Kim; in Chinese]'' You are taking advantage of these children! You make them pay too much for the Labubus! :'''Tuong Lu Kim''': ''[retorting in the same language]'' Shut up, wife! Somebody has to pay the tariff! :'''Wing''': You should just go back to making orange chicken! :'''Tuong Lu Kim''': ''[in English]'' Yeah, well, wok is dead, you stupid bitch, now stop nagging me! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Jesus''': Well, I hope you guys learned a valuable lesson. If you mess around and you aren't safe, it can have really big consequences. :'''Butters''': Yeah, I'm not having sex for a long time. :'''Red''': And I'm done with Labubus. :'''Jesus''': Well, that's good, because as your counselor, I'm banning Labubus from school. And TikTok. And cell phones. Now get back to class. You both have detention for two weeks. :'''Red''': Oh, man! ''Red and Butters leave the office talking to each other'' :'''Butters''': Wow, new counselor's kind of a dick. :'''Red''': Yeah, but he's better than the last guy. ''Jesus smiles'' ==="[[w:Conflict of Interest (South Park)|Conflict of Interest]]" [27.05]=== :'''Cartman''': I don't know, guys, I'm like 60% sure that was a fսcking dude. :'''Stan''': Nah, I'm definitely betting it's a chick. What are the odds at? :'''Cartman''': ''[takes out his phone]'' Looks like about 40 kids betting now, 55% saying the Webelo is a dude. :'''Stan''': So I'd only win, like, five bucks on a $2 bet? ''[also takes out his phone]'' :'''Kyle''': What are you guys talking about? :'''Cartman''': Prediction market app, dude. You know, online peer-to-peer betting. :'''Stan''': Yeah, it's social platform betting. People can make any bet they want, and then other users take them up on it. :'''Kyle''': Really? :'''Cartman''': Yeah, it's pretty sweet, dude. People bet on anything, even stuff here at the school. See? Will the girls' soccer team win on Friday? Will there be a snow day this month? Will Kyle's mom strike Gaza and destroy a Palestinian hospital? Will school lunch have tater tots next week? :'''Kyle''': Wait, what was that?! :'''Cartman''': Will school lunch have tater tots next week? :'''Kyle''': No, the one about my mom! :'''Cartman''': Oh. Uh... Will Kyle's mom strike Gaza and destroy a Palestinian hospital? :'''Kyle''': Why the hell would my mom destroy a Palestinian hospital?! :'''Cartman''': 'Cause she's a Jew? :'''Jesus''': ''[to Stan and Cartman as he approaches them]'' Boys, put 'em away. You know the rules... no cell phones during school time. :'''Stan & Cartman''': ''[put their phones away]'' Sorry, Jesus. :'''Jesus''': ''[blows his whistle and walks away]'' No phones, guys! :''[Stan and Cartman take out their phones again]'' :'''Kyle''': Take that bet down right now, fatass! :'''Cartman''': I didn't put it up, Kyle. I'm not even betting on it. It's 9:1 odds your mom won't do it, those are terrible odds. :'''Kyle''': This is such bullshit! I'm gonna find out who started this and I'm gonna fսcking rip 'em a new asshоlе! ''[storms off]'' :'''Cartman''': Man, you just bring up Gaza to a Jew and they flip out. Maybe these are pretty good odds. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Kyle''': ''[to all the students; enraged]'' What is wrong with you people?! Do you even know what Gaza is?! You seriously just care about making a couple bucks?! You know what my mom would do if she found out this?! SHE WOULD ABSOLUTELY LOSE HER SHIT! There's been a conflict in Israel for ''thousands'' of years, and Jews and Palestinians are not football teams that you bet on! :'''Jesus''': Guys, phones (away). :'''Students''': Sorry, Jesus. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Cartman''': ''[sitting at a table with Stan and Kenny in the cafeteria around lunchtime]'' You guys! You guys! ''[pulls out his phone]'' Have you checked the betting app lately? :'''Stan''': No. :'''Cartman''': Ever since Kyle got all pissed off, the odds are going up on his mom attacking Gaza. :'''Stan''': No way. :'''Cartman''': Yeah, check it out! Now 17% of people are betting she's gonna do it, we gotta get in on this, guys! :'''Stan''': Dude, Kyle's mom isn't going to strike Gaza. :'''Cartman''': Yes, exactly! ''[lowers his voice]'' We know that. And we can also influence Kyle to get the odds raised even more. It's called a conflict of interest, you guys, it's a way to make free money. :'''Stan''': Isn't that illegal? :'''Cartman''': Yes! All we have to do is make sure Kyle stays angry, and at the same time, go talk antisemitic shit about his mom to goose the odds up even more. :'''Kyle''': ''[walks up to the table and sits down next to Stan]'' What are you guys talking about? :'''Cartman''': ''[puts his phone away]'' Nothin'. Just talking about how messed up it is everyone hates Jews now. :'''Kyle''': You think it's messed up? :'''Cartman''': Yes, I do, Kyle. Why would an app allow a bet like that to exist? It's obvious rage bait. :'''Kyle''': Yeah, that's exactly how I feel! :'''Stan''': Dude, you might just wanna let it go. :'''Cartman''': See? "Just let it go." That's how people want you to deal with a crisis that they don't even understand. :'''Kyle''': ''[pointing at Stan; angrily]'' Yes! ''[then pointing at Cartman]'' Thank you. :'''Cartman''': You can't give up, Kyle. It's not cool people would say this stuff about your mom. And honestly, if you don't have her back, who will? ''[walks down the school hallway]'' Hey, have you guys heard about Kyle's mom? ''[all the students look at him]'' Man, that bitch has it out for Palestine, let me tell you. Well I don't know, I would just hate to be a Palestinian hospital, that's all I can say. Well, anyways, good to talk to you guys. ''[walks away]'' Hey, guys! Guys, have you heard about my friend Kyle's mom? <hr width="50%"/> :'''Sheila''': Are you implying that Jews in America have some kind of obligation to do something about it?! :'''Harriet''': Whoa, whoa! :'''Sheila''': You wanna ''vilify'' my faith, is that it?! :'''Laura''': Sheila, it's okay. :'''Sheila''': It's not Jews vs. Palestine, it's ''Israel'' vs. Palestine! :'''Linda''': Here we go with the Palestinian stuff again. :'''Sheila''': And maybe if you read books instead of everything Hollywood actors say, YOU'D KNOW THE DIFFERENCE! ''[walks away, leaving]'' <hr width="50%"/> :'''[[w:Donald Trump|Donald Trump]]''': ''[entering his and Satan's bedroom, carrying a bowl of soup]'' Hey, Satan! ''[takes off his pants and shoes]'' I made you some soup! :'''Satan''': ''[closely inspects it]'' I don't like carrots. :'''Donald Trump''': Ayyy, relax, guy! Carrots are good for you. :'''Satan''': ''[annoyed]'' I don't want carrots. I ordered cheesecake on DoorDash. :'''[[w:Brendan Carr|Brendan Carr]]''': ''[enters the bedroom, wearing a neck collar after his last incident with falling down the stairs]'' Mr. President, I really need to speak with you. :'''Donald Trump''': Not now, Brendan Carr! Satan won't eat his carrots. :'''Brendan Carr''': Oh, come on, Satan, you're eating for two now. Carrots are good for you, see? ''[takes the soup bowl and eats it]'' :'''Donald Trump''': No, Brendan Carr, don't do it! :'''Brendan Carr''': ''[stops eating]'' Whoa, this is the best soup ever. I-- ''[drops the bowl and starts gagging]'' Oh, God! ''[his stomach rumbles loudly as he's about to have severe explosive diarrhea]'' :'''Donald Trump''': Whoa! <hr width="50%"/> :''[Nighttime at the Broflovski Residence; The family is having soup for dinner at the table while Sheila complains in frustration about being confronted by everyone in town asking for her opinion with Gaza]'' :'''Sheila''': ''[frustrated]'' Everywhere I went today, it was the same thing! What are you going to do about Gaza?! Like us Jews in America have any control over what's going on in Israel. Why is everyone suddenly confronting ''us'' about the politics?! ''[to Gerald]'' Have people been asking what ''you'' think about Gaza, Gerald? :'''Gerald''': No, for some reason, they were just asking what ''you'' think about it. :'''Sheila''': You see?! It's just pure antisemitism! I'm so sick of being ''grilled'' about my views on Palestine and my thoughts on Hamas! ''[Ike secretly pulls out his phone, opens up the poll in the market app, and bets $2]'' And being judged for things that are centuries old and that non-Jews know nothing about! Well, if they all think we should do something… ''[in unison]'' then you better believe I'll do something! :'''Kyle''': ''[whispering in protest; in unison]'' You… stop! ''[out of unison]'' You know, Mom, I'm starting to think that us Jews should just lay low for a little bit. :'''Sheila''': There! Now my son is complacent. This is one Jewish household that will ''not'' put up with it anymore! ''[gets up from the table and heads to the front door]'' :'''Kyle''': ''[hops off his seat and follows her]'' Ma, please. Don't make things any worse. :'''Sheila''': Worse?! How can it be any worse?! ''[takes her bag off the coat rack and opens the door]'' I'm going to find out where all this is coming from, and I'm going to give them '''''a piece of my mind!''' [closes the door and leaves]'' :'''Kyle''': No, Ma! <hr width="50%"/> :'''Meagan''': ''[scrolling through the market app on her phone, as well as Red, and sees the bet of Sheila bombing Gaza officially removed]'' What the hell? :'''Red''': They took it down! We were all gonna win, and they took down our bets! :'''Clyde''': How can the app company do that? :'''Jimmy''': I got in at nine-to-one odds! This is b-b-bullshit! :'''Meagan''': Yeah, these apps are totally corrupt. :'''Jesus''': ''[blowing his whistle as he appears]'' Guys! For the love of God! :''[The students all put away their phones; Kyle and Cartman are then seen sitting on the steps]'' :'''Kyle''': Well, Cartman, I just wanna say thanks. You know, it's crazy, but nobody else here gave a crap about how I was feeling except for you. :'''Cartman''': Oh, that's all right, Kyle. I'm just happy the bet got taken down. Now none of these sickos can profit off of what your mom does. :'''Kyle''': Yeah, well, those people would have all lost the bet anyway. :'''Cartman''': What do you mean they would have all lost the bet? :'''Kyle''': Well, I know the reason my mom went Israel. :'''Cartman''': It wasn't to bomb a Palestinian hospital? :'''Kyle''': No, when my mom left the house, she said she was gonna find the person responsible for all this and give them a piece of her mind. <hr width="50%"/> :'''Sheila''': ''[angrily confronting [[w:Benjamin Netanyahu|Benjamin Netanyahu]] as she barges into the office]'' THERE YOU ARE, MR. NETANYAHU! Just who do you think you are?! Killing ''thousands'' and flattening neighborhoods, then wrapping yourself in Judaism like it's some shield from criticism! You're making life for Jews ''miserable,'' and life for American Jews '''''impossible!''''' Oh, don't you roll your eyes at me, mister! You ''know'' what you're doing, and you're doing it on purpose! Well, now you can just sit in that chair, 'cause I'm not goin' anywhere, buster! I've been to every PTA meeting, every school board meeting, and I can go '''''all''''' day! ==External links== {{wikipedia|South Park season 27}} {{Authority control}} [[Category:South Park seasons|27]] 38bu4vc2vpbe5qhejtmwq9se2qubtl1 0 295069 3942148 3941652 2026-05-17T20:01:32Z ~2026-21334-34 3308640 /* Dialogue */ 3942148 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} [[File:KPDH logo black.png|thumb]] '''''[[:w:KPop Demon Hunters|KPop Demon Hunters]]''''' is a [[w:2025 in film|2025]] British animated musical [[w:Urban fantasy|urban fantasy]] film about a [[w:K-pop|K-pop]] girl group, Huntr/x, who lead double lives as demon hunters; they face off against a rival boy band, the Saja Boys, whose members are secretly demons. :''Directed by [[w:Maggie Kang|Maggie Kang]] and [[w:Chris Appelhans|Chris Appelhans]]. Written by Maggie Kang, Chris Appelhans, Danya Jimenez and Hannah McMechan, based on a story conceived by Kang. == Dialogue == :'''Celine''': ''[narration]'' The world will know you as pop stars, but you will be much more than that. You will be Hunters. Demons have always haunted our world, stealing our souls and channeling strength back to their king, Gwi-Ma. Until heroes arose to defend us. Born with voices that could drive back the darkness. Singing songs of courage and hope. But Hunters are more than warriors. Our music ignites the soul and brings people together. With this connection, the first Hunters created a shield to protect our world, the Honmoon. Every generation, a new trio of Hunters is chosen to fulfill our ultimate duty. A barrier so strong it is impenetrable, that will keep demons and Gwi-Ma from our world forever, the Golden Honmoon. And now, that duty falls to you. That victory is within your reach. It is your voices, your song, that will create the Golden Honmoon. :'''HUNTR/X''': Yes, Celine. <hr width=50%/> :'''Rumi''': ''[determined]'' Okay, this is our biggest show yet. :'''Zoey''': ''[determined]'' The most songs. :'''Mira''': ''[determined]'' The most moves. :'''Rumi''': Which means the most carb loading. :'''HUNTR/X''': ''[in unison chorus]'' FOR THE FANS!!! :''[They start eating their food, just unlike with predators devouring their prey.]'' :'''Rumi''': ''[mouthfully]'' I need 10,000 calories to get through the choreo. :'''Mira''': ''[mouthfully]'' A thousand percent. A gajillion percent. :'''Rumi''': ''[mouthfully]'' Mira, that's not even a real number. :'''Mira''': ''[mouthfully]'' It is for our fans. :'''Rumi''': ''[smells a roll]'' Ahhhhh! ''[as Zoey tears a bag of munchies apart to eat up]'' Our fans deserve the best. ''[pushes it into her mouth]'' Okay, time for our pre-game ramyeon! :'''HUNTR/X''': ''[they lift up their cups]'' Happy fans, happy Honmoon! ''[clink them together, with Ding! comic was shown.]'' :'''Zoey''': ''[notices there's no water in them]'' Wait, there's no water in these. <hr width=50%/> :''[Huntr/x are annoyed at realizing their plane's been hijacked by demons posing as flight attendants]'' :'''Mira''': [terrible angrily] Ugh, I didn't even get to finish my ''ramyeon!'' :'''Rumi''': [angered] Why do they always interrupt our snacking?! :'''Zoey''': ''[garbled through a mouthful of chips, muttered]'' THEY WILL FACE MY WRATH!!! <hr width=50%/> :'''Stewardess''': Please take your seat. :'''Rumi''': Yeah. We don't have time. She's a beast, right? :'''Stewardess''': W-what do you mean? :'''Rumi''': You're smiling all weird, watering plants with coffee, and those guys? Come on. <hr width=50%/> :''[Gwi-Ma berates one of his demon servants after a failed attempt to kill Huntr/x]'' :'''Gwi-Ma''': Let me guess. They got away again? :'''Demon''': ''[fearfully]'' The Hunters, they're too strong. :'''Gwi-Ma''': I understand. :'''Demon''': ''[hopefully]'' You do? :'''Gwi-Ma''': I understand you are WEAK! ''[Gwi-Ma incinerates the demon, making the others quail in fear]'' Pathetic! Useless! All of you! Don't you idiots know once the Hunters turn the Honmoon golden, it's over for us?! ''[as the demons cringe, one begins playing a [[w:Bipa|bipa]] atop a [[w:Hongsalmun|hongsalmun]], drawing their attention]'' :'''Jinu''': There once was a mighty demon king, stop me if you've heard this one before. He was in total control, he feasted on souls, the world trembled when he roared. ''[floats down and walks towards Gwi-Ma's throne, the crowd of demons parting for him]'' But then some Hunters sang some songs, now all he does is starve. Can't get at the souls, and his flame grows cold, just a whisper in the dark. ''[singing] And will he let the fire go out? Is this the end of him now? Dying king with a crumbling crown, will he let the fire go out? [Jinu stops before Gwi-Ma]'' :'''Gwi-Ma''': ''[angered]'' I let you keep that voice, Jinu, and you dare to mock me with it?! ''[Jinu and four other demons approach Gwi-Ma]'' :'''Jinu''': I'm not here to mock you. I'm here to help you. It's time for a new strategy. We fight the Hunters where they least expect it. Go after the very thing that powers the Honmoon. The fans. ''[the demons pose like a boy band]'' :'''Gwi-Ma''': ''[scornful]'' A demon boy band? ''[he cackles in derision; the other demons laugh nervously]'' What makes you think that could work? ''[Jinu snaps his fingers, creating a glamour that makes him and his fellow demons look like handsome KPop idols]'' :'''Demon 1''': Yeah, that's totally gonna work. :'''Demon 2''': Yeah, 100%. :'''Gwi-Ma''': ''[suspicious]'' Okay. I know you, Jinu. In over four hundred years, you've never done a single thing that didn't serve yourself. What do you want? ''[Jinu has a flashback to his human life]'' :'''Jinu''': The memories. I want them erased. <hr width=50%/> :'''Mira and Zoey''': ''[chanting as they bring the food in]'' Couch! Couch! Couch! [relax on the couch] Couch! :'''Zoey''': ''[relaxed]'' Oh, yeah. That's the stuff. Yeah. :'''Mira''': ''[relaxed]'' So relaxing. :'''Zoey''': What? ''[angrily]'' Cheater! Did she! :'''Mira''': Did too! :'''Zoey''': Did she! :'''Mira''': Did, too! :'''Zoey''': Did she! :'''Mira''': Lies, dog fights! :''[Mira and Zoey look eachother angrily.]'' :''[Rumi rises up from behind the couch.]'' <hr width=50%/> :'''Rumi''': ''[grinning while crouched behind the couch]'' Hey! Stop quarreling! Have a good break? :'''Mira''': ''[confused]'' Huh? What? But why?! No. We literally just sat… ''[Rumi stands up, revealing she's wearing her new costume]'' down. :'''Zoey''': ''[quizzically]'' Why are you in your new costume? :'''Mira and Zoey''': Rumi, you didn't. :'''Mira''': ''[worried]'' Did you announce the new single? :'''Zoey''': And the promo starts tomorrow... :'''Mira and Zoey''': ''[horrified]'' TONIGHT?! :''[A grinning Rumi shows the whining Mira and Zoey their own new costumes.]'' :'''Zoey''': ''[whining]'' Rumi, no! :'''Mira''': ''[whining]'' No-ho-ho-ho-ho-hoooooo! :'''Zoey''': But what about the pajamas! But no. NO! :'''Mira and Zoey''': [both wailing] No!! :'''Bobby''': ''[as he gets out of the elevator]'' Girls, you won't believe this! ''[All three girls are in their new costumes; Rumi is enthusiastically standing at attention like a [[Wikipedia:Tin soldier|toy tin soldier]], while Mira and Zoey are hunched over and despondent.]'' :'''Mira''': ''[whining]'' Bobby! :'''Zoey''': ''[whining]'' No more wewaxy time!! :'''Bobby''': Your new single is on fire! Everyone's listening to it! ''[Zoey and Mira immediately perk up]'' :'''HUNTR/X''': YAY! :'''Bobby''': So let's go promo! <hr width=50%/> :'''Zoey''': Okay, how do we handle this? What do we tell the fans? Maybe we should call Celine? :'''Mira''': We know what she'd say, Zoey. :'''Zoey''': Oh, right. [Clears her throat] "We have are Hunters. (speaks with Mira) Voices are strong. Your faults and fears must never be seen." :'''Mira''': Whoa. You sound exactly like her. :'''Zoey''': Yeah, that's how she says it. :'''Mira''': No. We gotta hide it and fix it. :'''Zoey''': For sure. We have to hide it. Mm-hm. Rumi, why don't we take a break? We'll skip the Idol Awards this year and... :'''Rumi''': No. No way. It's our most important show. It's when we strengthen the Honmoon for the entire year. We can't skip it. We just can't. Not when I'm so close. These... I think was these demon guys sound like real beastly monsters. :'''Zoey''': Hey, we'll get through this. We can get through anything. Together. Which is Taotie, Qiongqi, Hundun, Taowu and Bai Ze are where put in the jail on abandoned zoo. :'''Mira''': Okay. We have two weeks to fix Rumi's voice. Any ideas? :'''Zoey''': I do have one idea. <hr width=50%/> :'''Zoey''': Wait, why are you looking at me? :'''Healer Han''': Eagerness to please. Maybe a little too eager. :'''Zoey''': What? [laughs.] I'm not like that. You'd tell me if I was like that, right? :''[He then looks at Mira.]'' :'''Healer Han''': Hm... I see... :''[Mira stares at Healer Han and she went unleashed her angry mode, then scares him with [[w:Panthera leo melanochaita|lion]] roar sound effects, causing him to flinch back with puppy dog eyes.]'' :'''Mira''': Yeah, that's right. :'''Rumi''': How does this help me get my voice back? <hr width=50%/> :''[Zoey and Bobby dancing to "Macarena (Spanish Musical)" on his phone, much to the annoyance of Rumi and Mira]'' :'''Mira/Rumi''': Bobby!/Zoey! :'''Mira''': Control those shoulders. :''[Zoey and Bobby then stopped. Bobby turned off his phone]'' <hr width=50%/> :'''Mira''': Yep, making them hotter. :'''Bobby''': Backup dancers, ready to go. :'''Rumi''': We'll write a brand-new song. A diss track to expose the Saja Boys. :'''Zoey''': And send those disgusting demons back to the depths where they belong! :'''Mira''': Yeah! :'''Zoey''': ''[excited]'' YEAH! :'''Mira''': ''[went berserk with [[w:cougar|Mountain lion]] and [[w:Tyrannosaurus rex|T-Rex]] roar sound effects.]'' YEAHHHHH! :'''Zoey''': ''[gone crazily]'' Yeah! :''[The two stopped making battle cries when Rumi stared at them.]'' :'''Rumi''': ''[then]'' YEAHHH! :'''HUNTR/X''': YEAAAAAAAHHH!!!! :''[Rumi, Zoey and Mira charge off to attack.]'' :'''Zoey''': We're gonna kick their ass butts! :'''Bobby''': That's my girls! Not sure about this whole demon thing. I mean, they seem like nice people — but loving the energy! <hr width=50%/> :''[Rumi ran back to the stage, panting, the patterns covering her back, chest and head. She saw her friends.]'' :'''Rumi''': What? How are you here? You were just on stage. That wasn't you? Oh. Oh, thank goodness. ''[looks down and saw it, the demon patterns. She gasped]'' No. No No! No! :'''Zoey''': ...How do you have patterns? :'''Rumi''': These were supposed to be gone. You were never supposed to see! :'''Mira''': You were hiding this from us this whole time? :'''Rumi''': No, I-I have a plan to erase them. Jinu was supposed to... I... He was– :'''Zoey''': ''[betrayed]'' Jinu? You're working with him? :'''Rumi''': No! No, no, I was using him to fix all this! To fix me! So we can all do our duty! We could all be strong! Be together! :'''Zoey''': How could we be together, if we can't tell your lies from your truths, Rumi!? :'''Mira''': ''[sniffles]'' I knew it. I knew it was too good to be true. :'''Rumi''': Mira, no! Didn’t you see? See the gold? We're so close! ''[Mira and Zoey back away from her]'' No, don't leave! Don't leave! I can still ''[demonic voice]'' FIX IT! :''[The Honmoon reverberates, causing Mira and Zoey to look at Rumi in horror, who also reacts in horror at what she just did, before Mira raises her gok-do. Zoey whimpers, fighting back her tears.]'' :'''Rumi''': ''[tearfully pleading]'' Zoey, please... :''[Zoey says nothing, as she draws two of her knives with a cold expression. Rumi finally breaks down and runs away crying. The moment she is gone, Zoey and Mira lower their weapons, distraught]'' <hr width=50%/> :'''Rumi''': ''[confronting Jinu]'' Say you didn't do this. ''[he snaps his fingers, revealing the Mira and Zoey who attacked and humiliated her on stage were demons. Rumi angrily shoves him]'' How could you do this?! :'''Jinu''': It was all a lie. :'''Rumi''': It was real! What we had was real, I know it was! :'''Jinu''': The things I said? I just needed you to trust me, that's all. ''[he turns to leave, but Rumi grabs his arm]'' :'''Rumi''': No! No, I know your story. You were a good person, and you still are. You just made a mistake. :'''Jinu''': ''[angrily]'' I left them! ''[Rumi recoils from him in horror]'' That's right, I lied to you. I only made a deal with Gwi-Ma to get ''myself'' out of that ''miserable life!'' ''[Jinu flashes back to his human past, remembering his mother and sister being turned away at [[w:Gyeongbokgung|the palace]] gates, and hiding his guilt from his fellow courtiers]'' I left my sister, my mother, alone, while I slept on silk sheets in the palace with my belly full every night ''[anger turns to sadness and his voice breaking]'' I left them. I left them... :'''Rumi''': ''[voice breaking]'' But that's not all you are. This is just your demon talking. You have to fight it! :'''Jinu''': That's NOT how it works! :'''Rumi''': ''[demonic voice]'' YES, IT IS! ''[the Honmoon reverberates, much to her horror]'' :'''Jinu''': Listen to yourself. Is it working? You're a demon, just like me. All we get to do is live with our pain, our misery... That's ''all'' we deserve. <hr width=50%/> :''[Meanwhile in [[Jeju]], Celine is horrified of what was happening. She felt a presence nearby. She pointed her weapon, only to see that it was Rumi, exposed by the glowing purple patterns and glowing gold eye.]'' :'''Celine''': ''[realized]'' Rumi? :'''Rumi''': I thought I can fix it all. Fix me. But I ran out of time. They saw. They know. There's no denying it. This is what I am! :'''Celine''': Rumi, no! :'''Rumi''': You knew I was a mistake from the very start. ''[sinks to her knees to draw her sword]'' Do what you should've done a long time ago. Before I destroy what I swore to protect. Please... ''[demonic voice]'' DO IT! ==Cast== * [[w:Arden Cho|Arden Cho]] as Rumi * [[w:May Hong|May Hong]] as Mira * [[w:Ji-young Yoo|Ji-young Yoo]] as Zoey * [[w:Ahn Hyo-seop|Ahn Hyo-seop]] as Jinu * [[w:Yunjin Kim|Yunjin Kim]] as Celine * [[w:Joel Kim Booster|Joel Kim Booster]] as Romance Saja * [[w:Alan Lee|Alan Lee]] as Mystery Saja * [[w:SungWon Cho|SungWon Chon]] as Abby Saja * [[w:Daniel Dae Kim|Daniel Dae Kim]] as Healer Han * [[w:Ken Jeong|Ken Jeong]] as Bobby * [[w:Lee Byung-hun|Lee Byung-hun]] as Gwi-Ma ==External links== {{wikipedia|KPop Demon Hunters}} {{Authority control}} [[Category:2025 computer-animated films]] [[Category:2025 American animated films]] [[Category:American computer-animated films]] [[Category:Films about cloning]] [[Category:American animated films about revenge]] [[Category:Anime-influenced Western animated films]] [[Category:American 3D animated films]] [[Category:Best Animated Feature Academy Award winners]] [[Category:Netflix original films]] [[Category:American children's animated comedy films]] [[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]] [[Category:American children's animated musical films]] [[Category:Musical comedy films]] ayy7oa0g9crh8012gt5nimvayjjttcw 0 298542 3942042 3941820 2026-05-17T12:31:59Z ~2026-25300-35 3313942 /* Beware of the Undertoad [6.12] */ 3942042 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Season 6== ===Beware of the Undertoad [6.12]=== :'''Harold''': Billy, if I weren’t reading this upside down, I’d say this is serious. Ooh! :'''Gladys''': This ''is'' serious, Harold. ''[To Billy] You are grounded, young man, and no more television!'' :'''Billy''': ''[shocked]'' <span style="color:blue">But, Mom!</span style="color:blue"> :'''Harold''': Grounded? So he ''can'' fly. :'''Gladys''': To...your...ROOM! :'''Harold''': ''[to Gladys]'' What if he has x-ray vision? 'Cause then he could be watching TV and we wouldn’t even know it. [[Category:Television show seasons]] bnoh4kzh4g7otdo3ong91fs33dbm0y9 0 299024 3942054 3923392 2026-05-17T13:14:46Z Simon Peter Hughes 327237 /* External Links */ No capital L for links in the heading. Commons category. Inline templates. Official website. 3942054 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Chappell Roan @ Hollywood Palladium 11 18 2022 (53886572991).jpg|thumb|Chappell Roan in 2022]] '''[[w:Chappell Roan|Kayleigh Rose Amstutz]]''' (born [[February 19]], [[1998]]), known professionally as '''Chappell Roan''' (/ˌtʃæpəl ˈroʊn/ ^ⓘ ''CHAP-əl ROHN''), is an [[United States|American]] singer and songwriter. She is known for her camp and drag queen–influenced aesthetic. Her debut EP, ''School Nights'' (2017), was released by Atlantic Records. After years without success, she was dropped from the label in 2020. Her debut studio album, ''The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess'' (2023), was released through Island Records and received critical acclaim. The album garnered a cult following and became a sleeper hit. == Quotes == * Drag is like a spa for my soul. * We want liberty, justice and freedom for all. When you do that, that’s when I’ll come. * I encourage people to use your critical thinking skills, use your vote – vote small, vote for what’s going on in your city. * It’s awesome to say no to things, even though they’re offering a lot of money. I have the power to say no. * I was so desperate to feel understood * I pushed down the gay part of myself so deep because I was like, that can’t possibly be me. ** [https://www.theguardian.com/music/2024/sep/20/fame-is-like-going-through-puberty-chappell-roan-on-sexuality-superstardom-and-the-joy-of-drag ‘Fame is like going through puberty’: Chappell Roan on sexuality, superstardom and the joy of drag] The Guardian (20 September 2024) * It's weird how people think that you know a person just because you see them online and you listen to the art they make. ** [https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cd6yg942lzlo Singer Chappell Roan calls out fans' 'creepy behaviour'] BBC Newsbeat (20 August 2024) * I know that I stand on the shoulders of the women in the industry that came before me, and my shoulders are broad enough to have the women that come after me to stand on mine … the little kid in me still believes that rock n’ roll can save the world. ** [https://www.billboard.com/music/music-news/chappell-roan-cyndi-lauper-inspired-career-rock-hall-1236109398/ Chappell Roan Thanks Cyndi Lauper for ‘Laying the Groundwork’ for Gen-Z Pop Stars After Rock Hall Induction] Billboard (10 November 2025) ==External links== *{{Wikipedia-inline}} *{{commonscat-inline}} *{{official website}} [[Category:Living people]] [[Category:1998 births]] [[Category:Singer-songwriters from the United States]] [[Category:LGBT people]] [[Category:Grammy Award winners]] [[Category:Women singers from the United States]] [[Category:People from Missouri]] [[Category:Pop singers]] [[Category:Brit Award winners]] j416881zcfm8bzqge8zjq6hb4dt6p5e 0 300044 3942243 3938893 2026-05-18T03:39:57Z Bszabo15 1085757 /* Cast */ 3942243 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} '''''{{w|Zootopia 2}}''''' (known as '''''Zootropolis 2''''' in some European countries) is a 2025 American animated [[w:Buddy cop|buddy cop]] [[w:Comedy film|comedy film]] produced by [[w:Walt Disney Animation Studios|Walt Disney Animation Studios]] and released by [[w:Walt Disney Pictures|Walt Disney Pictures]] as well as the studio's 64th feature-length film. A sequel to ''[[Zootopia]]'', it follows Judy Hopps (voiced by [[w: Ginnfer Goodwin|Ginnifer Goodwin]]) and Nick Wilde (voiced by [[w:Jason Bateman|Jason Bateman]]) as they pursue reptile Gary De'Snake (voiced by [[w:Ke Huy Quan|Ke Huy Quan]]) across Zootopia and try to clear their names after being framed. :''Directed by {{w|Jared Bush}} and {{w|Byron Howard}}. Written by Jared Bush.'' {{center|1='''They're back with a twissst.'''}} {{film-stub}} ==Judy Hopps== * Hopps and Wilde in pursuit of suspect! * Stop in the name of the law! * ''[looking around Nick's apartment]'' Yikes... No wonder you never invite me over. ''['''Nick:''' Foxes are solitary.]'' * Stop pulling my ears, stop pulling my ears! Never pull a bunny's ears, never pull a bunny's ears! * We have to solve this case. * You know, I used to dream... of infiltrating a place like this. * Check the perimeter, snoop a little, we find nothing, we bail. But if I'm right, no-one will question whether you and I belong together again. We need this. * We took an oath to protect this city, and justice doesn't run. * The sooner everyone sees a fox and a bunny can be great partners, the better. * Agree to disagree. ==Nick Wilde== * Sorry, could you show me that clip again? Wasn't wearing my glasses. * Play it smart, stay off the radar, and don't let them get to you, okay? 'Cause we are the dream... team. ''[accidentally throws the soda can through the wall]'' Sorry, Paul. ''[Paul frustratedly growls and the soda can sprays him away]'' * No snake has set foot in Zootopia in forever, okay? Even if they had feet. * Well, can't win 'em all. * ''[upon seeing Chief Bogo at the Zootennial Gala]'' Bogo alert. * Oh, is my discomfort hilarious to you? * Oh my god -- a viper! ''A vindow viper.'' Ja? ''[laughs]'' * You know, this is not your worst idea. ''['''Judy''': Wow, that was almost a compliment.]'' Your worst idea is what you did with your ears. ''[Judy punches him in the stomach]'' * You're the one who said we needed a bust. Just follow my lead, okay? Act casual. * You want to fit in? Commando is not gonna cut it. It's not just the clothes, okay? ''[in a cool tone]'' It is the ''vibe''. * Carrots, hey, I would like to call a partner meeting! * Hey, Flash, Flash, 100-yard dash! Partner's in trouble, need to get across town, ignore the laws. ''['''Flash''': No... problem!]'' ==Gary De'Snake== * I'm really sorry, but this is my family's only chance to return home. * Hurt him? Snakes never hurt anyone. We aren't the bad guys. They are. And this journal holds the secret that will prove it. I have to prove it. Please. This is my only chance to set things right, and when I do, my family will finally be able to come home. * We shall succeed. * Permission to hug? ==Nibbles Maplestick== * If you wanna talk to a reptile, I am your gal. * When Zootopia was founded, this whole neighborhood got cut off from the rest of the town. It's the only place where you can get away with wearing a shirt and no pants. * Breathe it in! * Zootopia has a secret reptile population. * It takes two to tango, but a threesome to be some! * It takes a threesome to be some, but a fourway to bust your doorway! ==Pawbert Lynxley== * ''[to Judy; chuckling as he holds out his paw]'' Paw! Uh, Pawbert. I am Pawbert. Hi. * '''I'M GONNA ''BURN'' IT ALL TO THE''' '''''GROUND!''''' '''I'M A REAL''' '''''LYNXLEY!''''' ''[maniacally laughs before he gets knocked out with a frying pan from behind]'' ==Gazelle== * I will remember you, zebra! * We are with you, Judy Hopps. * We meet again, zebra. * Here come the horns! ==Dialogue== :''[Antony Snootley, the customs inspector, realizing Judy and Nick are cops.]'' :'''Finnick''': ''[spits out his pacifier and looks up at him]'' Toot toot. :'''Antony Snootley''': ''[gasps in panic]'' It's the '''''FUZZ!''''' ''[pushes Nick aside and runs]'' :'''Judy''': Stop! Stop in the name of the law! :'''Antony Snootley''': Everybody run! ''[drives off in the catering van]'' :'''Nick''': Well, can't win 'em all. :''[Behind Nick and Judy, the frantic pig in a hog rod fiercely honks at them.]'' :'''Frantic Pig''': Get outta the road, you dumb bunny! :'''Judy''': ''[scoffs]'' Agree to disagree. <hr width=50%> :''[As Judy and Nick are in Chief Bogo's office, the latter groans, as he and the other ZPD officers are displeased with them ruining Ebenezer Lynxley's statue.]'' :'''Judy''': Sir, today may not have been ideal, but the anteater was captured... :'''Chief Bogo''': By the Zebros! :'''Zebros''': ZEBROS!! ''[they both high-five]'' :'''Chief Bogo''': SHUT IT!!! :'''Zebros''': <small> Zebros... </small> :'''Judy''': It was us. But more importantly, I believe that we have made a significant discovery. ''[opens a case file]'' The stolen van contained a smuggled crate from overseas, pamphlets for the Zootennial, and some type of reptile skin. I've already sent samples for testing. And... :'''Chief Bogo''': ''[slams his hoof down on the case file]'' What needs testing is ''you''! You two tore up ''half the city''! Because of ''you'', we had to call in Jumbo Unit ''[turns on the TV to show a news report of Zeke, a dik-dik struggling in a tuba]'' to remove a '''DIK-DIK FROM A TUBA!!!!''' :'''Otter''': ''[on TV]'' You're almost out! You're gonna be-- :'''Zeke''': ''[on TV; panicked]'' Please no, please NO...! :''[An elephant officer picks up the tuba and blows through it with his trunk, launching Zeke into the air.]'' :'''Otter''': ''[on TV]'' Who's catching him?! :'''Nick''': Sorry. Could you show me that clip again? ''[puts on his pig sunglasses]'' Wasn't wearing my glasses. ''[Judy glares at him]'' :'''Chief Bogo''': Did you or did you not disobey a direct order to ''stand down''?! :'''Judy''': Sir, we were in pursuit, and Article 6, Paragraph B states if the lead officers think that-- :'''Fern Hoggbottom''': ''You'' are not lead officers! You're one-hit wonders who should go back to meter-maiding and sligging Pawpsicles! :'''Nick''': ''If'' I may, I think someone's just jealous that we got to drive the Squealmobile. ''[Fern snorts in shock]'' Or... maybe you thought it was your mama! :''[Fern squeals in anger.]'' :'''Chief Bogo''': ENOUGH!!! Everybody, ''[in high-pitched voice]'' out! :''[The ZPD officers (except Judy and Nick) leave Bogo's office.]'' :'''Chief Bogo''': ''[sighs; to Judy]'' Officer Hopps, despite my best efforts to avoid it, I like you. But this need to... overdo it made both of you a headline today. And it reflects badly on me, on the department, and, frankly, on any bunny hoping to follow in your footsteps. Not every case to going to save the world. :''[Judy comtemplates about what Chief Bogo said, until...]'' :'''Nick''': ''[interrupts]'' Knock, knock. ''[standing next to a waste bin]'' Hi. You know, this kinda... this sounds a lot like a... "just a you guys" conversation, so what I'm gonna do is: I'm gonna go ahead and... ''[prepares to leave]'' :'''Chief Bogo''': ''[rolls his eyes]'' Is there a reason why you don't take ''anything'' seriously? :'''Nick''': Jokes are a classic defensive mechanism for someone with a traumatic childhood. :'''Chief Bogo''': ''[glares at Nick]'' Would you like a traumatic ''adulthood''? :'''Nick''': ''[opens his mouth to retort before removing his glasses and backing away]'' I would not. :'''Chief Bogo''': I allowed you to work together because you did this city a great service, but today, you messed it all up. And now, some are questioning whether you should have been partners in the first place. :'''Judy''': But, sir... :'''Chief Bogo''': So, instead of chasing imaginary reptiles, I am pulling you from the field... :'''Judy''': ''[shocked]'' What?! ''[Nick frowns]'' :'''Chief Bogo''': ...and giving you a new assignment, reserved for special teams like yourselves. Fail at this, and I will have no choice but to ''split you up''. There will be no more Hopps and Wilde. ''[Judy and Nick exchange worried glances]'' But... if you're as good as you think you are, ''[gives Nick the flyer]'' this is your moment to shine. ''[shuts the door]'' <hr width=50%> :''[Judy and Nick are in Partners in Crisis with Dr. Fuzzby, the ZPD quokka therapist, and the other officers.]'' :'''Dr. Fuzzby''': Welcome to Partners in Crisis, a workshop for duos heading for disaster. ''[chuckles]'' I am your therapy animal, Dr. Fuzzby, and you are here because mismatched pairings often need a little more work to make them... work. :''[An armadillo officer, Greg is grooming his partner's fur, picking out bugs. His partner, Marlon Grizzby, is gesturing in a way showing he's uncomfortable.]'' :'''Dr. Fuzzby''': Greg, we talked about that. :''[Greg pauses and stops grooming Marlon, sighing and groaning.]'' :'''Dr. Fuzzby''': What are we making Marlon? Uncomfortable. Yes. :''[An elephant officer, Francine, screams when she see a mouse, Clark.]'' :'''Dr. Fuzzby''': And Francine, Clark may be a mouse, but he is your partner first. :''[Officer Clark squeaks, and Francine hits her forehead.]'' :'''Dr. Fuzzby''': And we have two new ''“apart-ners.”'' :''[All the officers look at Judy and Nick.]'' :'''Dr. Fuzzby''': ''[to Judy]'' Can you tell us about your journey to ''dysfunction junction''? :'''Judy''': ''[looks around awkwardly]'' Well, we’ve been official partners for one week, ''[poking Nick]'' happy anni-versa-ry! And we're not dysfunctional at all, actually. Functioning fine - better than fine! And we ''did'' sorta save the city, so us being here kinda seems like a ''huge'' misunderstanding. :'''Dr. Fuzzby''': ''[nodding; to the rest of the group]'' Notice how she answered first, did not allow her partner to speak, seems to be in a state of denial, ''[Judy looks at her disturbingly]'' and taps her foot when she's suppressing discomfort. :''[Judy notices her foot is tapping and stops it. Nick smiles and chuckles.]'' :'''Dr. Fuzzby''': ''[notices]'' And observe the source of her discomfort, represented by the disconnected affectation of her emotionally-insecure partner. :''[Nick frowns as Judy smirks at him.]'' :'''Marlon''': Oh... :'''Dr. Fuzzby''': But with hard work, they'll be on the same page by year two! ''[Judy and Nick stare confusedly]'' But for now, let's begin by greeting our teammate. Who'd like to go first? ''[Joel, an elk, raises his hoof]'' Thank you, Joel. :''[Joel smiles at Karen, a honey badger, who proceeds to choke him.]'' :'''Dr. Fuzzby''': Okay, unfortunately, Karen has chosen to see Joel's smile as a sign a aggression. ''[starts spraying]'' Hackles down, Karen, hackles down. ''[singing]'' Joel, the safe word is "coconut". :'''Joel''': ''[while Karen chokes him]'' Coconut! '''Coconut'''! :''[Nick and Judy exchange shocked looks.]'' <hr width=50%> :''[As Judy and Nick leave the ZPD building, the other officers mock them for destroying Ebenezer Lynxley's statue.]'' :'''Gene Zebrowski''': ''[mockingly]'' Look, everybody! Roll out the red carpet, here's the Super Cops! Woo! :'''Higgins''': Ça marche! Allonzi! :'''Bloats''': Woo! :'''Sheep cop''': Fox and bunny! :'''Gene Zebraxton''': Hey, what does the fox say? You suck! :''[Upon realizing Zebraxton insulted Nick, Judy tries to confront him about it.]'' :'''Nick''': ''[fondly pushes Judy away]'' Easy, partner. ''[leaves the building with Judy]'' Let me ask you somethin': Do you think we're a good team? :'''Judy''': Of course! I just... I just wish I knew what we had to do to ''prove'' it to everyone else. :'''Nick''': Or... maybe we don't have to prove anything to anybody. :''[Judy and Nick look behind them, seeing the ZPD officers still taunting them from behind the door.]'' :'''Judy''': Hm... ''[smiles]'' We do. Forever. ''[throws a "Partnership for Dummies" book to Nick]'' :'''Nick''': ''[catches the book]'' Oof! ''[gazes at the book curiously]'' :'''Judy''': And the sooner everyone ''[as Nick gazes at her]'' sees a fox and a bunny can be great partners, the better. ''[walks away as Nick amorously gazes at the book]'' Enjoy it! I got two! :'''Nick''': ''[singing]'' I'd rather chew off my own arm. :'''Judy''': ''[waving from a distance]'' Happy anniversary! :''[Nick stares at the book Judy gave him, scoffing softly as he leaves.]'' <hr width=50%> :''[Gary De'Snake reveals himself in front of everyone at the Zootennial Gala.]'' :'''Mayor Winddancer''': '''''THERE'S A SNAKE!!!!!''''' :''[The Zootopians start running and screaming]'' <hr width=50%> :''[During the chase scene at the Lynxley Manor, a lion chef's hat is knocked off, revealing [[w:Ratatouille (film)|a rat/mouse controlling him by pulling his mane.]]]'' :'''French Chef''': ''[gasps; points at the lion]'' I knew it! <hr width=50%> :''[After Judy and Nick escape from the Lynxley Manor, Milton questions Mayor Winddancer. Cattrick and Kitty face him as well, standing on either side of Milton.]'' :'''Mayor Winddancer''': Uh, we, uh... We're gonna take that snake down. :'''Milton Lynxley''': ''[angrily]'' And the fox and that ''rabbit!'' Do you know how many mayors they've already destroyed? :'''Mayor Winddancer''': ''[thinks while tapping the floor two times with his back hoof]'' 1, 2... I got up to 2. :'''Milton Lynxley''': Would you like to be 3?! ''[Mayor Winddancer shakes his head "no"]'' I want them gone! :'''Mayor Winddancer''': But aren't there... ''laws?'' :'''Milton Lynxley''': ''[coming closer to Winddancer]'' I will say this once, ''Brian.'' You will retrieve the journal and bury them. Or maybe I chose the wrong mayor. Did I choose the wrong mayor? :'''Mayor Winddancer''': ''[gulps]'' <hr width=50%> :''[Mr. Big’s polar bears, Raymond and Kevin, put Judy and Nick in the trunk of his limousine and take them to Fru Fru"s purse warehouse.]'' :'''Fru Fru''': Welcome to my warehouse! ''[to Judy]'' Oh my god, I love your dress. :'''Judy''': Oh, thank you. :'''Mr. Big''': Fru Fru and I are now equal partners in the family business. She brings wonderful ideas for crime and for fashion, while I get more time to focus on what matters most: Being grand-papa to my little Judith. :''[Fru Fru's daughter, a toddler shrew named Judith, walks over.]'' :'''Judith''': ''[holds out her hand, wearing a candy ring on one of her fingers]'' Kiss my ring! :''[Nick smiles at Judy, chuckling in amusement.]'' :'''Mr. Big''': '''KISS THE STINKING RING RIGHT NOW! KISS IT!''' :'''Fru Fru''': '''KISS IT! YOU KISS IT RIGHT NOW! KISS IT!''' :''[Nick quickly and awkwardly kisses Judith's ring.]'' :'''Judith''': Nonno, you said we were gonna make cement shoes for Mr. Weaselton. :'''Mr. Big''': Ah, that's my girl. ''[Judith grins maliciously]'' :'''Nick''': They grow up so fast. :'''Mr. Big''': '''YOU RUN YOUR MOUTH TOO MUCH!''' :'''Fru Fru''': '''THAT'S MY DAUGHTER! YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH, FOX!''' ''[Nick flinches as Judy glares at him]'' :'''Mr. Big''': Anyways, you're in trouble, and we like one of yous, so we're here to help. :'''Fru Fru''': ''[a polar bear gives Nick a duffel bag]'' New clothes, new identities, truck outta town leaves in an hour, and your meter-maid cart is taken care of. :''[A polar bear throws Judy and Nick's meter-maid cart in a trash compactor before praying to himself.]'' :'''Judy''': I think you misunderstand. We've been framed by the lynxes, and an innocent snake needs our... :'''Mr. Big''': ''[as Judith climbs on his lap]'' Judy, the Lynxleys are killers, and they have no honor, and this Tundratown expansion only makes them more dangerous. Territorial animals will do anything for more land. So, if whatever you're tangled up in threatens their plans, you're dead. You don't fight the cats, you leave. :'''Judy''': Sir, I know you're trying to look out for us, but we took an oath to protect this city, and justice doesn't run. :'''Nick''': ''[wearing a fake moustache]'' On behalf of myself, ''[reads his and Judy's fake I.D.'s]'' Rick Wilde and Miss Trudy... Cabbagepatch. We thank you for your truck to salvation and... ''[Judy rips off his fake moustache]'' Yow! :'''Judy''': We cannot accept your offer. We are helping that snake. :'''Nick''': ''[muttering]'' Boy, you're really tossing that "we" around. :'''Judy''': Snakes may have been framed for the fanging of that tortoise. Do you have any idea why or how this book could prove it? ''[shows the journal to Mr. Big]'' :'''Mr. Big''': I wish I did. But if it has to do with snakes, your best bet is talking to a reptile. :'''Judy''': Do you know any? :'''Mr. Big''': Almost no one does. They keep to themselves, hide out in Marsh Market. :'''Fru Fru''': But you can still find 'em. You just need to find a reptile expert, someone local who knows where to go. Lucky for you, I met someone. ''[gives Judy Nibbles' business card]'' She runs a podcast! <hr width=50%> :''[To uncover the secret of the journal, Judy and Nick are tasked with consulting Nibbles for help, much to Nick's dismay.]'' :'''Nick''': No, no, Trudy Cabbagepatch; Rick Wilde says "''no''". :'''Nibbles''': Oh, yeah! ''[drives by Nick and Judy]'' If Hopps and Wilde are on the lam, subtle sleuthin' 'tis my jam! ''[kicks her car's passenger door open]'' Woo! ''[dusts off the seats]'' Mind the splinters. ''[Judy tries to pull Nick toward the car as he resists]'' Oh, you called the right beaver. If you wanna talk to a reptile, I ''am'' your gal. Also, if you need to talk to a jackalope, which are ''real'', Mom! :'''Nick''': ''[pulls Judy away]'' Excuse us; Team meeting. ''[to Judy]'' Vetoing the beave, new vote. ''[raises his paw and tail]'' All in favor of truck to being alive and laying low 'til this blows over-ville? ''[chuckles]'' I mean... :'''Judy''': Hopps and Wilde do not bail on a case. :'''Nick''': ''[whispering about Nibbles]'' But she's crazy; Probably lead poisoning from eating too many pencils! ''[sees Nibbles chewing on two pencils]'' :'''Judy''': Do you know a reptile who can tell us the hidden secret in here or why lynxes framed the snakes? ''[Nick tries to answer, but sighs in defeat]'' Twenty-four hours, sunrise tomorrow. If we strike out, then we go into hiding and Judy Cabbagepatch it is. ''[extends her paw to Nick]'' :'''Nick''': ''[groans]'' It's ''Trudy'' Cabbagepatch and the safe word is "coconut". ''[steps in the car alongside Judy]'' :'''Nibbles''': ''[to herself]'' In the darkness of a dank underpass, they stepped into the vehicle, not realizing their lives were about to change. :'''Judy''': Because we're gonna meet a reptile? :'''Nibbles''': ''[excited]'' Because you're about to be best buds with ''Nibbles Maplestick''! ''[Judy and Nick look at her in surprise]'' Takes two to tango, but a threesome to be somethin'! ''[drives off to Marsh Market]'' Let's find you a reptile and romp the swamp! <hr width=50%> :'''Nibbles''': Conversing with these beautiful sea creatures is like talkin' to anyone a little different. Just takes open and respectful communication. ''[throws a large fish in Judy and Nick's arms and rings a bell; a large walrus named Russ emerges from the water with a plunger]'' Hey, bub. :'''Russ''': Hey, bub. :'''Nibbles''': Hey, bub. :'''Russ''': Hey, bub. :'''Nibbles''': Hey, bubba, hey. :'''Russ''': Hey, bub, hey. :'''Nibbles''': Bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub. :'''Russ''': Bub-bub-bub-bub-bub-bub. :'''Nibbles''': Hey, bub. ''[mimics a record scratching]'' :'''Russ''': Hey, pfft, bub-bub. :'''Nibbles''': Hey, bub, pfft, bubby-bub. :'''Russ''': Hey, bub, pfft! Hey, bub. Hey-ho! :'''Nibbles''': Hey, bub-bub. :'''Russ''': Hey, bub. :'''Nibbles''': Seen Jesús? :'''Russ''': Yup. ''[grabs the fish with his plunger, eats it, and dives back into the water, soaking Nick]'' :'''Nick''': ''[removes his soaked hat]'' And now, we leave town. <hr width=50%> :''[Nick and Judy are chasing Gary throughout Marsh Market with Nibbles' help.]'' :'''Nibbles''': Pro tip: If he goes for the red line, do ''not'' follow! You ''will'' run out of air! Good luck! I LOVE YOU! :''[As Nick follows Judy, who is still chasing Gary, the latter looks behind him and swallows the journal.]'' :'''Gary''': Cannonball! ''[leaps into the red line water tube]'' :''[Having disobeyed Nibbles' warning, Judy promptly follows Gary into the red line tube.]'' :'''Nick''': ''[worried]'' Hopps, no, that's the red line! Red line, red line! You're gonna run out of air! Coconut, '''coconut'''! ''[leaps into the red line after Judy and Gary]'' <hr width=50%> :''[Outside the destroyed Honeymoon Lodge, officers Chèvre and Bücheron bring a paw-cuffed Nick, who is glaring daggers, in front of Hoggbottom and Mayor Winddancer.]'' :'''Hoggbottom''': Mayor Winddancer? :'''Mayor Winddancer''': ''[approaches Nick and removes his shades; about Judy]'' Where's the bunny? :'''Nick''': ''[snarkily]'' I dunno. But, you know, she's a rabbit, so maybe you can pull her out of your hat. :'''Mayor Winddancer''': ''[pauses]'' I'm not wearing a hat. :'''Hoggbottom''': ''[whispering]'' He's messing with you, sir. :'''Mayor Winddancer''': ''[dismissively]'' I knew that! Get him out of here! :''[Officers Bücheron and Chèvre throw Nick in the prison van and slam the doors shut.]'' :'''Milton''': ''[approaches Nick]'' Where are they, Mr. Wilde? ''[Nick turns away in denial; to Cattrick]'' Begin the expansion. Freeze Marsh Market. Flush everyone out. :'''Nick''': ''[overhears him; worried]'' No... you can't... :'''Milton''': Water folk, like foxes, are lesser mammals. If I say they helped a dangerous snake, no one will care what we do. ''[digs his claws in Nick, who groans in pain]'' You're going to a dark cell, Mr. Wilde, just long enough to read the headline of your partner's demise. ''[takes his claws off Nick, who glares angrily]'' You should've left town while you had the chance. :''[The prison van drives away with Nick.]'' :'''Kitty''': ''[holding a fur sample]'' Dad. Fur from... ''[gives the sample]'' whoever's helping the bunny and the snake. :'''Milton''': ''[angrily clutches the bag]'' Find Pawbert! <hr width=50%> :''[Nick is locked up in prison by Hoggbottom for being a fugitive.]'' :'''Nibbles''': ''[off-screen]'' Nicholas Wilde! ''[Nick sighs as he sees her in the cell across his]'' What are the chances? ''[laughs]'' You know, this is my first time in prison, and I gotta say: ''[reaches for a mop]'' Their food is on point. ''[starts gnawing on the top part of the mop]'' :'''Nick''': ''[sighs and rolls his eyes]'' How are you even here? :'''Nibbles''': Destiny, plus an arrest. ''[chuckles]'' But it looks like Judith got away. Was that decision... ''mutual''? ''[Nick sighs and turns away]'' Oh, sensin' trouble in paradise. Wanna talk about it? :'''Nick''': ''[pushing a bed]'' What I want is to get outta here. ''[climbs on the bed, struggling to free himself]'' :'''Nibbles''': ''[wearily]'' Right, your big plan. Lay low on Outback Island, sipping piña koalas. Except you can't trust koalas 'cause they got four thumbs. Did a whole episode about it on the podcast. It was called "They Got Four Thumbs". But you know what? At least they ain't platypuses. ''[laughs]'' :'''Nick''': ''[trying to unlock his cell; annoyed]'' Wait, can you just... Can you ''please'' just let me concentrate? :'''Nibbles''': ''[salutes]'' Roger that. ''[gnaws on the mop again and spits out a splinter]'' Just talk to me, dude! ''[Nick breaks a claw and sighs]'' What's the last thing she said to you? :'''Nick''': ''[sighs]'' She, um... Uh, she said... "maybe we are too... different." :'''Nibbles''': Hm... And... What did you say ''before'' that? :'''Nick''': I said the case isn't worth dying for. :'''Nibbles''': Hm...? :'''Nick''': Like, uh,... Like, y'know, as in it's... it isn't worth ''her'' dying for because... because solitary animals like me don't have real friends. And I-I... I don't wanna lose her. ''[as his ears droop]'' I just... I don't know how to say that. ''[looks down, seeing Nibbles in front of him]'' :'''Nibbles''': You know what, bud? ''[hugs Nick]'' I think you just did. :'''Nick''': ''[pauses before realizing Nibbles opened his cell; surprised]'' Wait, how'd you do that? ''[gestures to the lock]'' :'''Nibbles''': Well, I open my arms, put them around you, and then I squeeze. It's called a hug. Do foxes not have hugs? ''[realizes what Nick meant]'' Oh. ''[chuckles]'' The lock. Yeah, that's Beav 101. ''[reveals that she gnawed a key on the mop]'' <hr width=50%> :''[In Flash's car, Nick is calling Clawhauser at the ZPD by phone to track Judy's location.]'' :'''Nick''': I cannot help Judy if I don't know where she is, which is why I need you ''[off-screen]'' to get on Paul's computer and track Hoggbottom. :'''Clawhauser''': ''[whispering]'' You are an escaped fugitive! I could get fired for even talking to you. :'''Nick''': ''[desperately]'' They're gonna put her to sleep! ''[off-screen]'' Do it! :'''Clawhauser''': Okay! ''[sees a box of donuts and gasps in delight]'' :'''Paul''': ''[typing on his computer]'' Did you try restarting it? Mhm. Have you tried not being an idiot? :'''Clawhauser''': ''[holding a box of donuts]'' Hey, Paul, I got you some donuts. ''[trips over the soda can and drops the box on Paul]'' Oh, no! :'''Officer McHorn''': ''[grabs the box of donuts]'' Thanks, Clawhauser! :'''Nick''': ''[off-screen]'' Clawhauser! Location...?! :''[Clawhauser reaches for Paul's computer, which has a screensaver on and requires a password. Clawhauser grabs the sticky note on the computer with the password "P@Rt3izFr&BrdZr2" written on it, much to his dismay as he struggles to read it.]'' <hr width=50%> :''[After Judy, Gary, and Pawbert flipped the switch of the clock tower in the old control room, they return to see if it worked.]'' :'''Pawbert''': Can you see it? Did we turn on the clock tower? :'''Judy''': ''[looks around and gasps]'' There. ''[spots the clock tower's light]'' It's there! :'''Pawbert''': ''[gasps in delight]'' We did it! We can find the original patent. :'''Judy''': ''[sees Nick struggling to open the weather wall door; confused]'' Nick...? The door... it's locked. Wait... How did it lock? :''[Outside the weather wall, Nick starts panicking as the walls begin to heat up.]'' :'''Nick''': ''[trying to barge in]'' Nibbles, open it! '''Nibbles'''! :''[In the control room, Judy watches worriedly as Nibbles opens the access door, allowing Nick to enter, then slams the door shut before the flames scorch them.]'' :'''Nibbles''': Dang door stuck on me... :''[Back in the control room, Judy sees Nibbles helping Nick back up.]'' :'''Judy''': ''[sighs in relief, then chuckles embarrassedly]'' Sorry. Last case, there was kind of a... twist. :'''Pawbert''': I know. ''[suddenly injects Judy in the neck with snake venom, paralyzing her]'' Oh my gosh. I really... Oh, my heart is pounding. ''[chuckles]'' I thought you knew. I thought you knew. :'''Gary''': ''[feeling betrayed]'' No! ''[tries to attack Pawbert, but...]'' :'''Pawbert''': ''[grabs him by the throat]'' Sorry, partner. ''[throws Gary outside in the snow]'' Hate to leave you out in the cold... But... I'm gonna... Please don't be mad at me, but... I mean, you get it. We've always been on the same page. Me and you. Underdogs, right? You gotta prove you're as good as everyone else, that you belong. I know, it's messed up, but... ''[reloads his venom injector]'' this is my chance. I have to take it. 'Cause when I get to his great-grandma's home and I burn the original patent, I'll finally be something in my family. And I'll finally belong, too. :'''Nick''': ''[on the monitor]'' Judy? :'''Pawbert''': ''[approaches the monitor]'' Ruh-roh... :'''Nick''': ''[on the monitor]'' Carrots? :'''Pawbert''': ''[sees Nick looking for Judy; sighs]'' No loose ends. :''[Judy and Gary watch in horror as Pawbert steals the latter's fanny bag.]'' :'''Pawbert''': Bye, partner. Bye, Judy Hopps. ''[walks past her]'' :'''Judy''': ''[grabs his leg; desperately]'' Pawbert, please... You ''can'' be different than your family... :'''Pawbert''': ''[pauses; coldly]'' I don't wanna be different. ''[slams the door shut and locks the control room]'' :'''Judy''': ''[worried]'' Nick... <hr width=50%> :''[As Pawbert leaves the control room after betraying Judy and Gary, he hears Nick climbing the stairs and follows him.]'' :'''Nick''': ''[off-screen]'' Judy? ''[looks around the corridors]'' Judy? ''[looks down]'' Nibbles, do you see her? :'''Nibbles''': ''[holding a flashlight]'' No, nothin' yet. :''[In the control room, Judy struggles to crawl to the door.]'' :'''Nick''': ''[through the monitor]'' Judy? :'''Gary''': ''[from outside; shivering]'' We shall... succeed, Judy Hopps. :''[Judy briefly looks at Gary before continuing to crawl. Outside the control room, Nibbles stumbles upon Pawbert.]'' :'''Pawbert''': ''[pretends to surrender]'' It's okay. Judy sent me. She... needs to find Nick. ''[injects Nibbles with snake venom]'' :'''Nibbles''': ''[unamused]'' Yep. Should've seen that comin'. ''[faints]'' :''[Pawbert walks over Nibbles as he reloads his venom injector.]'' :'''Nick''': ''[off-screen]'' Judy? :''[Back in the control room, Judy is still struggling to reach the door. On the monitors, Nick is climbing the stairs as Pawbert follows him.]'' :'''Judy''': ''[struggling to crawl]'' Nick... :'''Gary''': ''[off-screen]'' We... shall... succeed,... ''[Judy struggles to reach for the door, but collapses]'' Judy. :'''Judy''': ''[weakly]'' I can't... move, and... ''[looks at Gary]'' you're too... cold... to help... ''[off-screen]'' And he's gonna... Nick's gonna... :''[Thinking Judy is outside, Nick swings the steel door open. Once outside, Nick shields his eyes from the blizzard, looking for Judy.]'' :'''Gary''': ''[off-screen]'' Judy,... the world... was never meant... to be... on one animal's... shoulders... :''[As he turns around, Nick is confronted by Pawbert. Nick warily backs away upon seeing the venom injector in Pawbert's paw.]'' :'''Gary''': ''[crawling to Judy]'' That's why... my great-grandma... wanted... Zootopia... to be... for everyone,... ''[Judy sees Pawbert confronting Nick]'' so we could... ''all''... help each-other. :'''Judy''': ''[tears up; guilty]'' I... ''didn't''... help. :''[Outside, Nick is still backing away from Pawbert.]'' :'''Gary''': ''[off-screen]'' You ''did''. ''[slowly crawling]'' You chose... to help me... and became... my... best warm-blooded... friend. ''[touches Judy with his tail; his eyes glow]'' ''Very'' warm. ''[senses Judy's body heat; smiles]'' Permission... to hug? :''[When Judy weakly nods "yes", Gary softly coils around her as the ice crystals on his scales start melting thanks to Judy's body heat, restoring him.]'' :'''Gary''': ''[sees Pawbert with his fanny bag through the monitor]'' We're gonna save you and save your friend. ''[Judy smiles, then passes out; worried]'' Judy? ''[officers Higgins, Chévre, and Bücheron enter the control room]'' Aah! :'''Officer Higgins''': ''[points at Gary in fright]'' Hey, he's gonna eat that rabbit! :'''Gary''': ''[panicked]'' No, wait! ''[backing away]'' I-I'm saving her! I'm gonna get her the anti-pen! <hr width=50%> :''[Outside the Sahara-Tundratown weather wall, Nick is still backing away from Pawbert, not noticing his footing.]'' :'''Nick''': ''[about Judy]'' Where is she? :'''Pawbert''': ''[blankly]'' She, uh... She didn't make it. ''[Nick turns mortified]'' But with snake bites, you... go fast... You'll see. :''[Inside the control room, Gary, surrounded by officers Higgins and Bloats, quickly swings a telephone at Higgins' head, angering him and Bloats. On the roof, Pawbert aggressively tackles Nick to the ice, trying to stab him with his venom injector. Back in the control room, Chèvre tries to tackle Gary, but he slithers aside while still coiling around a passed-out Judy. Gary tries to leave the control room, but Officer Bücheron stops him from doing so.]'' :'''Gary''': No! ''[looks at Judy, who is losing strength]'' :''[Officer Bloats attacks Gary alongside the other officers as they try to restrain him. Back outside, Nick tries to stop Pawbert from injecting him.]'' :'''Pawbert''': She ''gone'', Nick! Just... get it over with! :''[As Nick struggles to kick and push Pawbert off him, he kicks at Gary's fanny bag and knocks a bunch of markers out of it that fall down an ice ledge. Back inside the control room, Gary struggles to free himself from the officers until he sees some of his markers falling from outside, then gasps in shock upon seeing through the monitor that Nick is struggling against Pawbert on the roof.]'' :'''Pawbert''': You're done! Know when to '''quit'''! :''[The ice underneath Nick and Pawbert starts cracking, when suddenly...]'' :'''Gary''': ''[off-screen]'' Anti-venom! ''[Nick looks down; pops out]'' You can save her with the anti-venom! Throw me the bag! ''[the officers yank him back inside, revealing Judy's unconscious body]'' :'''Nick''': Judy! :''[Upon noticing Gary's anti-venom pen, Nick kicks Pawbert off him, flipping each-other over and causing the cliff to crack. Nick and Pawbert start wrestling for the fanny bag until the pen drops out of it towards the edge of the cliff. As the cliff rumbles again, Nick prepares to grab the pen, but...]'' :'''Pawbert''': ''[grabs Nick's paw; desperate]'' Leave it! You're gonna kill us both! It's not worth dying for. :'''Nick''': ''[glances at the anti-venom pen]'' Agree... ''[glares at Pawbert]'' to disagree. ''[shoves Pawbert away, slides down, grabs the anti-venom pen, and throws it to the fire escape, allowing Gary to barely grab it]'' :''[Nick briefly smiles before he starts losing grip as the ledge gives out. In the control room, Gary uncoils Judy and activates his anti-venom pen.]'' :'''Anti-Venom Pen''': Stab me straight into the heart! :''[As Gary stabs his pen into Judy's heart, she recovers instantly, gasping in shock. Seeing Nick on the verge of falling to his demise, Judy kicks Bloats and Higgins off Gary before knocking Rhinowitz out in a rush to save him. As the cliff shatters, Nick and Pawbert both start to fall to their deaths, but Judy quickly grabs Nick's paw with Gary's help, who grabs Judy, as Pawbert falls.]'' <hr width=50%> :''[After Gary saved Judy and Nick from falling to their deaths, they look at each-other worriedly before rushing to hug each-other in relief. They both begin weeping.]'' :'''Judy''': I was trying to get you... :'''Nick''': He told me that you... That you were... :'''Judy''': And I saw you... :''[Nick and Judy stop hugging and stare at each-other with watery eyes, much to Gary's awkwardness.]'' :'''Gary''': ''[blushing]'' I'll... help your friend. ''[slithers off to help Nibbles]'' :'''Nick''': ''[hesitantly]'' Okay. I- I don't- I don't ''care'' that we're different... you know? I- What I care about… is you. I care about you. Okay? And I didn’t say it. I should've said it, but I didn't... because... ''[shrugs]'' Uh… Well… ''[chuckles nervously]'' 'cause I ''am'' an emotionally insecure source of your discomfort who's not good at expressing his feelings. Probably because I've been on my own my whole life. It's not an excuse; It's just... ''[awkwardly scratches his neck]'' it's why instead of telling you that you're the best thing that ever happened to me, ''[Judy smiles]'' I-I make jokes about your ears and-and I tell you that you try too hard, when, you know, the truth is: I just don't want you to get hurt because… because no one else in the world ''matters'' more to me than you do. :'''Judy''': ''[holding back her tears; talking fast]'' I… I do try too hard because deep down I'm afraid I am what everyone thinks I am, and I suppress my discomfort because I'm worried it makes me look weak and I wanna be strong, and I think I'm failing all the time and I only take what you say personally because you're the only one in my life who ever believed in me, even when I don't even believe in myself. And I should have told you that… ''[pouts]'' No one else in the ''world'' matters to me more than you do, either... :'''Nick''': ''[pauses; almost entranced]'' I have unresolved childhood trauma that I refuse to discuss because being vulnerable scares me. :'''Judy''': I make dangerous choices because I have an unhealthy bunny hero complex. :'''Nick''': ''[teary]'' And I didn’t join the ZPD because I wanted to be a cop; I joined because I always wanted to be part of a pack… and the thought of losing you scares me because… ''[whispering softly]'' because you’re my pack. :'''Judy''': ''[sobbing]'' I should never have left you. And I ''do'' need a herd of therapy animals, and I should've told you that you're the only partner I would ever want because… you're my fluffle. :'''Nick''': ''[perplexed]'' Hm... Um...? :'''Judy''': ''[crying]'' That's a bunch of rabbits! :''[Nick and Judy giggle as the former smiles at her warmly and the latter wipes her tears away.]'' :'''Nibbles''': ''[after she got healed; arrives with Gary beside her]'' Whoo! Now ''that'' is what we call an overshare. I’m alive, by the way. I made it. <hr width=50%> :''[Judy and Nick are closing in on Pawbert as he reaches the clock tower, when a chasm tears open between them.]'' :'''Judy''': I'm gonna jump! ''[leaps outside the snowcat, ready to do so, but...]'' :'''Nick''': ''[playfully grabs her paw]'' Zoogetherness! Huh? ''[serious]'' No, never mind. Forget I said it; here we go! ''[leaps off the snowcat with Judy, knocking the gasoline and matches away from Pawbert]'' :'''Pawbert''': ''[frantically digging in the snow]'' Matches, matches, matches, matches! :''[When Pawbert finds the matchbox, it suddenly vanishes in the snow, much to his surprise.]'' :'''Judy''': ''[pops out of the hole]'' Bunnies... we're burrowers. Rabbit kick! ''[kicks at Pawbert, allowing Nick to trip him, then fist bumps Nick]'' :''[However, Pawbert emerges from the snow, growling and grinning evilly, as he pounces on Nick and Judy and strangles them, ready to tear them apart.]'' :'''Pawbert''': ''[insanely]'' I'll destroy the patent, that town, and ''everything'' in it. And a '''dirtbag fox''' and a ''[pushes Judy's head deeper in the snow]'' '''dumb bunny''' will ''never'' stand in my way! :''[Nick and Judy briefly exchange glances before the former glares at Pawbert.]'' :'''Nick''': ''[under his breath; defensively]'' She's not a dumb bunny and you're forgetting one thing...! ''[smirks]'' :'''Pawbert''': ''[grinning]'' What's that? :'''Nick''': We're friends with a snake! ==Taglines== * Hopps works hard, Wilde plays it cool. * They're back with a twissst. * Zootopia will be changed furrrever! ==Cast== * {{w|Ginnifer Goodwin}} — Judy Hopps * {{w|Jason Bateman}} — Nick Wilde * [[Ke Huy Quan]] — Gary De'Snake * [[w:Fortune Feimster|Fortune Feimster]] — Nibbles Maplestick * [[Andy Samberg]] — Pawbert Lynxley * {{w|David Strathairn}} — Milton Lynxley * [[Shakira]] — Gazelle * [[Idris Elba]] — Chief Bogo * [[Patrick Warburton]] — Mayor Brian Winddancer * {{w|Quinta Brunson}} — Dr. Fuzzby * [[Danny Trejo]] — Jesús * [[w:Alan Tudyk|Alan Tudyk]] — Duke Weaselton * {{w|Nate Torrence}} — Officer Benjamin Clawhauser * {{w|Don Lake}} — Stu Hopps * {{w|Bonnie Hunt}} — Bonnie Hopps * {{w|Jenny Slate}} — Dawn Bellwether * {{w|Cecily Strong}} — Little Judith * John Anoa'i and Phil Brooks — Gene Zebraxton and Gene Zebrowski * {{w|Michelle Gomez}} — Captain Hoggbottom * {{w|Josh Gad}} — Paul Moldebrant * {{w|Peter Mansbridge}} — Peter Moosebridge * [[w:Tiny Lister|Tiny Lister]] — Finnick ==External links== {{Wikipedia|Zootopia 2}} * {{IMDb title|id=26443597|title=Zootopia 2}} [[Category:2025 films]] [[Category:2025 American animated films]] [[Category:2025 computer-animated films]] [[Category:2020s American animated films]] [[Category:American computer-animated films]] [[Category:American 3D animated films]] [[Category:Animated buddy films]] [[Category:Sequel films]] [[Category:Conspiracy films]] [[Category:Animated films about rabbits and hares]] [[Category:Animated films about foxes]] [[Category:Films about snakes]] [[Category:Films about lizards]] [[Category:Animated films about big cats]] [[Category:Animated films about horses]] [[Category:Films with archival recordings]] [[Category:Films directed by Jared Bush]] [[Category:Films directed by Byron Howard]] [[Category:American sequel films]] lv3cpqe5oktemh7cagohhidks38i310 0 300270 3942103 3942009 2026-05-17T17:37:13Z ~2026-16350-98 3302200 3942103 wikitext text/x-wiki {{italic title}} {{Family Guy header}} '''''[[w:Family Guy|Family Guy]]''''' is an animated television series created by [[Seth MacFarlane]] for [[w:Fox Broadcasting Company|FOX]] in 1999. The show was canceled in 2002, but after a positive response to DVDs and reruns on [[w:Adult Swim|Adult Swim]], productions of new episodes for FOX resumed in 2005. :''Please read [[Family Guy/Format]] for notes on how to use and edit this article.'' ===''A Little Fright Music''=== :'''Announcer''': We now return to [[w:Abbott and Costello|Abbott and Costello]] [[Abbott Elementary|Elementary]]. :'''Abbott''': Okay, so as the new vice principal, it's important that you learn all the names of our faculty. :'''Costello''': That's what I wanna find out. :'''Abbott''': Well, it's very simple. We have Mr. Present, Mr. Absent, Mr. Here, Mr. Yep, and Ms. Yo. :'''Costello''': Okay, and all of 'em are here? :'''Abbott''': Well, no. Only one of them is here. :'''Costello''': You don't see all of 'em? :'''Abbott''': Of course I do. :'''Costello''': But you just said only one of 'em is here. What about this guy? :'''Abbott''': No-no-no. He's not Here, he's Absent. ''[Costello wheezing]'' Let's just take attendance, okay? Mr. Absent. :'''Absent''': Here. :'''Abbott''': Mr. Here? :'''Here''': Present. :'''Abbott''': Mr. Yep? :'''Yep''': Yo! :'''Abbott''': Ms. Yo? :'''Yo''': Yep! :'''Abbott''': Mr. Present? ''[no response]'' Mr. Present. Ah, so Present is absent. :'''Costello''': Wait, Present is absent? :'''Abbott''': That's right. :'''Costello''': I thought you said he was absent! :'''Abbott''': He is. :'''Costello''': But he's present. :'''Abbott''': No, he's not present. Present is absent. :'''Costello''': Wait, so who's present and who's absent? :'''Abbott''': He's absent and Present is absent. :'''Costello''': So he ''is'' present! :'''Abbott''': No, he's absent. :'''Costello''': So, he's here, but Present is absent and Absent is present? :'''Abbott''': Now, that's the first thing you said right. :'''Costello''': I don't even know what I said! :''[confetti and Golden Globes rain around them while an audience cheers]'' ===''Disney's Hulu's Family Guy's Hallmark Channel's Lifetime's Familiar Holiday Movie''=== :'''Peter''': So this whole time our love was fake? Like COVID? :'''Lois''': Um, what? :'''Peter''': Don't follow me. I need to go someplace and cough for a while. :'''Lois''': Okay, I won't. :'''Peter''': I thought I smelled a rat but I actually can't smell anything. I tell ya, this has left a real nothing-taste in my mouth. :'''Lois''': I think you might have COVID. :'''Peter''': Liar! <hr width=50%> :'''Stewie''': ''[looks at statue]'' Kinda weird we're doing a Christmas pageant in the shadow of a Civil War memorial. ''[reading placard]'' "Dedicated to the brave men of Townsville who lost their lives fighting to preserve our [[w:Slavery in the United States|traditions]]." Traditions? Wh- What? What are they saying there? ===''The Edible Arrangement''=== :'''Meg''': Um, Congresswoman Boebert, could you please stop touching me there? I'm a woman. My pants are just bunched up. <hr width=50%> :'''Lois''': You can ''talk''? :'''Stewie''': You can understand me. Oh, I've been waiting a long time to say this. Here goes: ''Please'' stop buying the cheap baby wipes. They tear me up. :'''Lois''': Oh, great. Your first words to me are a grocery critique. ===''Pumpkin Spice Girls''=== ===''Man-Fest Destiny''=== ===''Bringing Up Brady''=== ===''Dear Francis''=== :''[Lois and Peter are at their bedroom, having sex in the dark]'' :'''Lois''': Oh, Peter! ''[laughs]'' Oh, Peter! :'''Peter''': Oh! FRANCIS! :''[Lois and Peter's eyes widen in the dark. Lois turns on the lamp, and Peter's hat falls down]'' :'''Lois''': ''[shocked and confused]'' Did... did you just call me Francis? :'''Peter''': l don't know what l said, Lois, it was the '90s! :'''Lois''': It was 10 seconds ago. :'''Peter''': Oh, right. I'm just so used to getting out of jams with that. :'''Lois''': Peter, did you just yell out your dead father's name while we were having sex? :'''Peter:''' Holy crap, l think you're right. I guess l must have thought about my old man, Francis, for a second while we were doing it. Wow. ''[Lois glares at Peter fearfully and nervously]'' So... ''[picks up the hat]'' Where were we? :'''Lois''': ''[Peter attempts to kiss her, but Lois pushes him back]'' No, Peter, l just... l need a minute. ''[Peter looks down disappointed and starts to leave]'' Leave the hat. ===''Viewer DMs''=== :'''Lois''': ''[narration]'' It all began in the land of Mordor. Forged in the fires of Spencer's gifts, Sauron created the one earring to rule them all. What followed was a massive war of elves and orcs that will someday cost ''Amazon Studios'' $2,000,000,000, just to get review bombed by racists. ===''Scent of a Woman''=== :'''Brian''': ''[as Meg enters Brian's car]'' l still can't believe you lied about cancer just to go to a Chaz Inferno restaurant. :'''Meg''': What? What are you ralking about? Brian, when l said "One of my dreams," l wasn't talking about eating at Chaz Inferno's. I was talking about for the first tkme ever, actually having real fun with a family member who wasn't mocking me, or farting in my face, or telling me l'm ugly. I guess l lied to you because l just wanted this amazing trip we've been having to last a little longer. :'''Brian''': You know what? I've has a really good time with you too, Meg. :'''Meg''': And the truth is, when Doctor Hartman said l might die, all l could think about was spending the rest of my life with skmeone who really loves and cares about me. And that was you. :'''Brian''': ''[now smiling]'' Of course, Meg. We're family. :''[Meg smiles, then she and Brian share a hug]'' ===''Play Time''=== ===''Phony Montana''=== :'''Brian''': So what joo think? How'm I gonna go to this wedding sounding like this? :'''Stewie''': Yeah, we sure don't want a repeat of what you did to Cleveland yesterday. :''[cutaway to Brian standing outside Cleveland's house with a cigar in one hand and an AR-15 in the other]'' :'''Brian''': Hey, mailman! No more putting the paper in the little slot in my house, eh? The sound wakes me up from my DOGGY NAPS! :''[Brian shoots up Cleveland's house, and Cleveland, who is taking a bath, falls out from the house]'' :'''Cleveland''': No, no, no, no, no, NOOOO!!! ''[crash]'' I'm not even the courier for your postal route. That's ''Laverne''! ===''A Few More Ways to Die in the West''=== ===''Tall Stewie''=== '''Peter''': Wait a minute! This isn't the Patriots Game! '''Lois''': Look, We are shopping for new pants, l can't believe you showed the entire Church your bare ass. '''Peter''': Well, l'm just glad everythinf is back to normal. ''[Pull back to show Peter wearing his ruined pants]'' '''Lois''': ''[angrily]'' No, it isn't! You didn't even change your pants! ''[Turns Peter around to show duct tape on his butt]'' l mean, look at you! You're a mess! You are lucky we married because no other woman would ever find you attractive. ===''Lower G.I. Joe''=== ===''Friend's Best Man''=== :'''Brian''': You read ''People''? What a stupid magazine. ''[reads Dogs magazine]'' Snoopy, fit and fabulous at 75. <hr width=50%> :'''Stewie''': I still don't understand who Justin Baldoni is or where he came from or where he's going. :'''Brian''': Yeah, he just appeared out of nowhere. Are we sure he's not Al or something? <hr width=50%> :'''Stewie''': I'm a single unwed baby. I'm in the prime of my life right now, Bri. I've got a steady allowance, I like to time travel, I'm potty trained, and here I am, no ring on my finger. ===''Let the Goodtimes Walk''=== ===''High School History''=== ==External links== {{wikipedia|Family Guy}} [[Category:Family Guy seasons]] d6vhjs6wlbk4tooq9ve6yv51y6674ou 0 301391 3942143 3941951 2026-05-17T19:22:06Z ~2026-29395-40 3323054 /* Caillou Joins the Circus (Eternally Suspended, Banned, and Censored Episode) [1.2c] */ 3942143 wikitext text/x-wiki ===Caillou Makes Cookies [1.1a]=== :'''Doris''': Caillou, what are you making? :'''Caillou''': ''[smiling softly]'' I'm making cookies. ===Caillou at Daycare [1.2b]=== :'''Leo''': ''[comes over to Caillou, but gets annoyed, and calls out to him]'' Hey! ''[snatches his one block from Caillou, causing the cup to spill over his shirt]'' These were my blocks! :'''Caillou''': ''[fearfully looking at his shirt, gasps in terror, and gets terrified where a glass of apple juice was spilled over it out of the cup, which made himself loudly, badly, and sadly screaming, and crying, in tears in his eyes, for his mom]'' <big><big><big>'''''MMM-O-O-O-MMMMMMYYY!!!!!!'''''</big></big></big> ''[getting very upset in sadness]'' :'''Leo''': ''[rudely laughs to Caillou, and impolitely makes fun of him needing his mom]'' Your mommy was gone. ''[smirkly walks away]'' ===Caillou Joins the Circus (Eternally Suspended, Banned, and Censored Episode) [1.2c]=== :'''Caillou''': ''[while happily brushing his teeth, and remarks]'' I didn't need to be late for the circus. :'''Boris''': ''[confused]'' Hmm? The circus? ''[concerned, while trying to explain]'' Uh... nope. Caillou, this was not today. ''[bored, while proving to Caillou that he was very wrong]'' The circus wasn't until tomorrow. :'''Caillou''': ''[suddenly stops happily brushing his teeth before he gasps in terror, after he was incorrect, and gets too much distressed, and became terrified]'' Oh, no!!!!!! ''[getting very upset, and badly sadly whining, with his declaration]'' But it is today!!!!!! And I am getting all dressed!!!!!! ''[badly, and sadly crying, whining and sobbing with tears breaking down in his eyes, now being harassed by the fact that this was happening, over his big mistake]'' And that's today!!!!!! :'''Boris''': ''[grumpily neglecting Caillou's challenges]'' Aaaaaaaawwwwwwww! Come along, Caillou! ''[calmly tells Caillou to come downstairs to the kitchen]'' Just come downstairs and help me make breakfast. ''[walks out of the bathroom]'' :'''Caillou''': ''[now very promptly getting very pissed, out of rage, angry, tabooed, enraged, indignant, stubborn, and upset at Boris, and losing his temper, for pissing, enraging, and angering him, and denies, and won't come downstairs to the kitchen to help his dad make breakfast]'' No!!!!!! No, I can't do that!!!!!! ''[angrily, indignantly, and stubbornly sits down on the floor, and indignantly, stubbornly, and angrily growls with his mouth close, and his eyes open, then picks up his nearby toy car out of the toy bucket, to make himself feel a little better]'' Vroom, vroom, vroom! ''[mockingly vrooming, and playing his nearby toy car, with his very upset, pissed, stubborn, and angry face on, but until one of the wheels unintentionally got loose, and fell off on the floor, and then he gasps in terror, and became terrified again, and then picks up his nearby toy car, and then getting even more very pissed, selfish, hurtful, out of rage, sad, fierce, bad-tempered, enraged, stubborn, indignant, terrible, tabooed, disgusted, upset, angry, dangerous, rude, mean, and violent, and stubbornly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently outbursting into stubbornly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently screaming, crying, shouting, and calling his nearby toy car a very bad, stronger, profane, disgusting, indignant, mean, rude, and hurtful word, disregarding, and repeatedly using several times, for name calling, but ignoring that it could hurt feelings, with tears breaking down in his eyes, and his eyes close, very tightly, and violently, fiercely, badly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily shaking his nearby toy car]'' <big><big><big>'''''You stupid, ol' car!!!!!! You are stupid!!!!!!-Stupid!!!!!!-Stupid!!!!!!'''''</big></big></big> ''[violently, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily growling, with his eyes close, very tightly, and his mouth close, and badly, fiercely, stubbornly, angrily, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently throwing, and slamming his nearby toy car down on the floor away, when violently, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, angrily, stubbornly, terribly, and indignantly causing it to violently, fiercely, badly, completely, and terribly ruin, damage, wreck, break, destroy, and smash it into thousands of pieces on purpose, and then indignantly, badly, loudly, sadly, fiercely, stubbornly, rudely, violently, and angrily screaming, shrieking, and crying, and bursting, and breaking down with tears coming out of his eyes, and while violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly having, and throwing himself a really violent, gigantic, huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and violently, fiercely, terribly, sadly, badly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily having his really bad, too inappropriate, hurtful, dangerous, and violent misbehavior, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, violently, and angrily hurting, pounding, and banging his arms, and fists, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, angrily, and violently hurting, and kicking his legs, and feet against on the floor over his completely ruined, damaged, wrecked, broken, destroyed, and smashed nearby toy car, and not coming to the circus today, and denies, and won't wait until tomorrow]'' <big><big><big>'''''WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!'''''</big></big></big> :'''Storyteller''': ''[off-screen]'' Caillou was being a very bad boy now. But he was not coming to the circus today. :'''Boris''': ''[hears Caillou, and was now getting very enraged, angry, terrible, and rude at him, in the approach, because of him, badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, violently, stubbornly, angrily, rudely, and indignantly having his really bad, violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and terribly, fiercely, badly, sadly, rudely, violently, indignantly, stubbornly, and angrily outbursting having, and throwing himself a really violent, huge, gigantic, and temper tantrum, in inertia, and disgust, and terribly, loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, violently, rudely, indignantly, and angrily screaming, shrieking, shouting, and crying a very bad, disgusting, rude, indignant, stronger, profane, hurtful, and mean word, disregarding, in violence, fierce, terror, indignant, anger, danger, disgust, and sadness, for name calling, and that he hurts feelings, and was now coming back to the bathroom, and returning to the bathroom, and angrily, terribly, and rudely growling, and running over Caillou, by making him stop outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, gigantic, and huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and having his really bad violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and now arriving this time, while holding Rosie, who was very scared, upset, and was crying, breaking down with tears in her eyes, when Caillou was waking her up, by badly, sadly, violently, stubbornly, fiercely, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, gigantic, amd huge temper tantrum, in inertia, and badly, sadly, violently, stubbornly, fiercely, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily having his really bad, violent, dangerous, hurtful, and too inappropriate misbehavior, and was loudly, angrily, terribly, and rudely shouting, and screaming at Caillou, and was angrily, terribly, and rudely blaming him for not coming downstairs to the kitchen, and was looking like he was angrily, terribly, and rudely getting ready to angrily, terribly, and rudely punish him, for one whole day, for the very first time, for violently, angrily, badly, indignantly, loudly, fiercely, sadly, terribly, rudely, and stubbornly outbursting, having, and throwing himself a really violent, gigantic, huge temper tantrum, in inertia, over not coming to the circus today, and violently, fiercely, terribly, sadly, badly, stubbornly, rudely, indignantly, and angrily having his really bad, hurtful, too inappropriate, dangerous, and violent misbehavior, and loudly, fiercely, badly, sadly, stubbornly, terribly, rudely, indignantly, and violently screaming, crying, and shouting a very bad, stronger, profane, disgusting, indignant, mean, rude, and hurtful word, disregarding, and repeatedly using several times, for name calling, and that he hurts feelings]'' Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!! Get along, Caillou!!!!!! Stop all that racket!!!!!! You are waking up Rosie!!!!!! ''[still significantly, roughly, seriously, and sternly commands Caillou that he will still immediately come downstairs to the kitchen to help him make breakfast quickly]'' I need you to come right down the stairs, now. :'''Storyteller''': ''[off-screen]'' Even though, Caillou's dad has started to get really angry at him. ''[Boris angrily, terribly, and rudely strikes, and glares at Caillou, while angrily, terribly, and rudely growling again at him, with his mouth close, and his eyes open, and before angrily, terribly, and rudely growling again, with his mouth open, his eyes open, and his teeth close, and turns around, while angrily, terribly, and rudely stomping away out from the bathroom, and angrily, terribly, and rudely stomping away downstairs to the kitchen, holding Rosie, who was very upset, scared, and crying, breaking down with tears in her eyes]'' :'''Caillou''': ''[gets terrified again, after he badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, indignantly, stubbornly, regretfully, and angrily misjudged, confronted, and disobeyed Boris, and his order, and got in big trouble, and was punished, for one whole day, for the very first time, and got very pissed, hurtful, frustrated, out of rage, tabooed, upset, bad-tempered, angry, indignant, fierce, stubborn, enraged, terrible, sad, panicky, scared, and regretful, then gets up, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, indignantly, and regretfully grunting, sobbing, whining, and crying with tears in his eyes]'' But why can't I go to the circus today?!!!?!!! ''[angrily, badly, indignantly, fiercely, stubbornly, and terribly growling again with his mouth close, when angrily, badly, indignantly, fiercely, stubbornly, and terribly kicking aside his completely ruined, damaged, wrecked, broken, destroyed, and smashed nearby toy car away on the floor, and started indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully running away from the bathroom, indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully storming off from the bathroom, and indignantly, angrily, badly, fiercely, stubbornly, terribly, sadly, and regretfully running after Boris, feeling very indignant, scared, fierce, enraged, tabooed, bad-tempered, panicky, sad, stubborn, regretful, terrible, angry, out of rage, pissed, hurtful, frustrated, and upset, over not coming to the circus today, until tomorrow, but about him wanting to go to the circus today, badly, sadly, fiercely, terribly, angrily, stubbornly, and indignantly confronting, whining, sobbing, sniffing, grunting, and crying, about his punishment, for the very first time, that he got, for one whole day, breaking down with tears in his eyes, before coming downstairs to the kitchen to help his dad make breakfast, but still denies, and won't help him make breakfast]'' I want to go to the circus today!!!!!! tslif6e5v2win1dv3ur20bh95rskkzp 0 302339 3942163 3875498 2026-05-17T20:42:48Z Ringbang 4436 created redirect to section 3942163 wikitext text/x-wiki #REDIRECT [[Shunryu Suzuki#Not Always So: Practicing the True Spirit of Zen (2002)]] lbrxteu1sicnucr94jjqcnfbyvqrzcl 3942164 3942163 2026-05-17T20:43:17Z Ringbang 4436 Undid revision [[Special:Diff/3942163|3942163]] by [[Special:Contributions/Ringbang|Ringbang]] ([[User talk:Ringbang|talk]]) rv accidental edit 3942164 wikitext text/x-wiki #REDIRECT [[Richard Feynman#The Pleasure of Finding Things Out (1999)]] rh5ytblsyj5d9no3ds2c4ezsn0zl231 0 304631 3942144 3941450 2026-05-17T19:34:24Z C.J. Griffin 862699 Adding file with quote 3942144 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Pirate Flag of Jack Rackham.svg|thumb|We took over the ship; we took over the cargo, took over the oil. It’s a very profitable business . . . We’re like pirates. We’re sort of like pirates.[https://geopoliticaleconomy.com/2026/05/09/trump-pirates-iran-ships-china-us-sanctions/]]] [[File:Flag of the United States Secretary of the Army.svg|thumb|God is good~Hegseth[https://www.cnn.com/2026/04/06/politics/hegseth-trump-iran-war-easter-christianity-analysis ]]][[File:TrinityDetonation1945GIF.gif|thumb|If there's no ceasefire, you're just going to have to look at one big glow coming out of Iran. President DJT[https://www.skynews.com.au/world-news/united-states/one-big-glow-coming-out-of-iran-trumps-wild-threat-as-he-hints-peace-deal-talks-might-collapse/video/8a668c00deaff3d27568bc78441e4a29 ]]] [[File:Seal_of_the_Army_of_the_Guardians_of_the_Islamic_Revolution.svg|thumb|Having an atomic bomb is used to scare the enemy, and we should not use this bomb on the people in any way, unless it happens.[http://didbaniran.ir/fa/tiny/news-281553 Nataj]]][[File:Donald Trump OEF.jpg|thumb|Trump: "I think the war is very complete, pretty much" (Mar 9th)]] On 28 February 2026, [[Israel]] and the [[United States]] launched a '''[[w:2026 Iran War|coordinated joint attack]]''' on multiple sites in [[Iran]], sparking a major conflict. The operation, codenamed '''Operation Roaring Lion''' and '''Operation Epic Fury''' by the [[w:United States Department of Defense|U.S. Department of Defense]], targeted senior Iranian officials, military command centers, and key strategic facilities, with the declared aim of [[w:regime change|regime change]]. The attack included the [[w:Assassination of Ali Khamenei|assassination]] of Iran’s second [[w:Supreme Leader of Iran|Supreme Leader]], [[Ali Khamenei]]. The strikes began in the cities of [[Tehran]], [[w:Isfahan|Isfahan]], [[w:Qom|Qom]], [[w:Karaj|Karaj]], and [[w:Kermanshah|Kermanshah]]. Several Iranian government figures were killed, including [[w:Ali Shamkhani|Ali Shamkhani]], the secretary of the [[w:Supreme National Security Council|Supreme National Security Council]]. Witnesses reported explosions across multiple regions. Israeli Defense Minister [[w:Israel Katz|Israel Katz]] confirmed that the [[w:Israel Defense Forces|Israel Defense Forces]] had conducted the strikes. [[w:Donald Trump|Donald Trump]], in a video posted on [[w:Truth Social|Truth Social]], announced that the United States had joined Israel in launching attacks against Iran. In retaliation, Iranian forces launched dozens of [[w:Unmanned aerial vehicles in the Iranian military|drones]] and [[w:ballistic missiles|ballistic missiles]] across the [[w:Persian Gulf|Persian Gulf]], targeting Israel as well as U.S. military installations in [[Jordan]], [[Kuwait]], [[w:Bahrain|Bahrain]], [[Qatar]], [[Iraq]], [[Saudi Arabia]], and the [[United Arab Emirates]]. [[File:Khamenei last end year 5458884.jpg|thumb|The newly supreme appointed leader should deliver message of the peace to world and declare new era in Iran , a historic neccessity to free political prisoners and declare public general amnesty for those that haven't collaborated in killing Iranians and/or 2026 Iran massacres [https://www.khabarfoori.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-59/3198657-%D8%AC%D8%A8%D9%87%D9%87-%D8%A7%D8%B5%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%AD%D8%A7%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AA%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1%DB%8C-%D8%AC%D8%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AD%D8%A7%D9%88%DB%8C-%D9%BE%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%B5%D9%84%D8%AD-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AC%D9%87%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A2%D8%BA%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%AF%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%B2%D9%87-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B4%D8%AF-%D8%A7%D8%B9%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%B9%D9%81%D9%88-%D8%B9%D9%85%D9%88%D9%85%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D9%84%DB%8C%D9%87-%DA%A9%D8%B3%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D9%87-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%B4%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%A2%D9%84%D9%88%D8%AF%D9%87-%D9%86%D8%B4%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A2%D8%B2%D8%A7%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D9%87%D9%85%D9%87-%D8%B2%D9%86%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-%D9%81%D8%B9%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%D8%AF%D9%86%DB%8C-%DB%8C%DA%A9-%D8%B6%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%AA-%D9%85%D9%84%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AE%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA ]]][[File:Mojtaba Khamenei 2019.jpg|thumb|another Khamenei is coming.~[https://www.khabarfoori.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-59/3198781-%D8%AA%D8%A7%DB%8C%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%AA%D9%84%D9%88%DB%8C%D8%AD%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AA%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%A2%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%84%D9%87-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%AC%D8%AA%D8%A8%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%B9%D9%86%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D8%A8%D8%B9%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D9%88%D8%B3%D8%B7-%D8%B9%D8%B6%D9%88-%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1%DB%8C QomImam]]][[File:Flag of the Cooperation Council for the Arab States of the Gulf.svg|thumb|Trump is hysterical and struggling with last final breaths. Americans are at the end of their rope. Enemy is caught in desperate swamp...Netanyahu pumped up US to attack, we will exact vengeance...Trump you are a retarded person, ...we are funneling through pass of war,... Iranians have civilization, countries of region are acting like cuckold pimps... Trump says some people within of our military have defected give us 2 of these people names to us[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77421052/%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%BE-%D8%A2%D8%AF%D9%85-%D8%B9%D9%82%D8%A8-%D8%A7%D9%81%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%DA%AF%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF ~Larijani][https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77421726/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D9%86%D9%81%D8%B3-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D8%AE%D8%B1-%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%BE-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9-%D8%B4%D8%AF%D9%87-%D9%88 ][https://farsnews.ir/mohammadreza_dehghan/1772912586911483130/%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%A7-%DA%AF%D8%B1%D9%81%D8%AA%D9%86-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%B3%D8%B1-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D9%86%D9%85%DB%8C-%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%85 ]]][[File:State_flag_of_Iran_(1964%E2%80%931980).svg|thumb|Seventeen 17 cities of Caucasian Iran was separated from Iran by Tsar Russia. We are reborn from ashes of Mongol invasion and Timurid.[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77413081/%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%AF%DA%AF%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D9%88%D9%86-%D9%88-%D8%AE%D8%A7%DA%A9 ]]] == Quotes == <small>Please add quotes in chronological order</small> ===2025=== *I wished to destroy Israel from when I was six 6 years. **Gen Nilforoshan[https://farsnews.ir/yasnabavi66/1759045495157744094/%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1%20%D8%B4%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%AF%20%20%D9%86%DB%8C%D9%84%D9%81%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%B4%D8%A7%D9%86:%20%D8%A7%D8%B2%20%DB%B6%20%D8%B3%D8%A7%D9%84%DA%AF%DB%8C%20%D8%A2%D8%B1%D8%B2%D9%88%20%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B4%D8%AA%D9%85%20%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%A6%DB%8C%D9%84%20%D8%B1%D8%A7%20%D9%86%D8%A7%D8%A8%D9%88%D8%AF%20%DA%A9%D9%86%D9%85%20%D9%88%20%D8%A7%D9%86%E2%80%8C%D8%B4%D8%A7%D8%A1%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%84%D9%87%20%D8%AF%D8%B1%20%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86%20%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%87%20%D8%B4%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%AF%20%D8%B4%D9%88%D9%85 ] ===Feb 2026=== *Finally, to the great, proud people of Iran, I say tonight that the hour of your freedom is at hand… Stay sheltered. Don't leave your home. It's very dangerous outside. Bombs will be dropping everywhere . when we are finished, take over your government. It will be yours to take. This will be probably your only chance for **Trump [https://www.pbs.org/newshour/world/read-trumps-full-statement-on-iran-attack PRESIDENT TRUMP's message to the great people of Iran ..] *firm of heart against the disbelievers, compassionate among themselves. **Khamenei quoted Quran[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77473280/%D8%A3%D8%B4%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%A1-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D9%84%DA%A9%D9%81%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%B1%D8%AD%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%A1-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%D9%87%D9%85 ] *There's a special place in hell reserved for pro-Trump Iranians. **IRGC Mashre Dimitri Lascaris [https://www.shahrekhabar.com/news/177328434067132 ] *400,000 armed people are ready to go to revolt against the United States government system **Gen Araste[https://www.ettelaat.com/news/140255/%DB%B4%DB%B0%DB%B0-%D9%87%D8%B2%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D9%86%D9%81%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B3%D9%84%D8%AD-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%AF%D9%87-%D9%82%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C%D9%87-%D9%86%D8%B8%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86-%DA%A9%D8%B4%D9%88%D8%B1-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%86%D8%AF#ref=shahrekhabar ] *Russia and China will win the war not just Iran **IRGC Gen RahimSafavi[https://www.shahrekhabar.com/news/177326496039426 ] *We have arm around Americans neck we will be slapping it when it moves **IRGC Gen Mohsen rezai[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77471755/%D9%85%D8%AD%D8%B3%D9%86-%D8%B1%D8%B6%D8%A7%DB%8C%DB%8C-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%BE%D8%B4%D8%AA-%DA%AF%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%86-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AA%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%D8%AF-%D8%AA%DA%A9%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%AF-%DB%8C%DA%A9 ] *If anyone comes to street they are seen as enemies and not as protestors.All our kids are putting their finger on triggers all alleys , streets , city squares belong to Police, special units and The IRGC Basij. **FARAJA Cmdr Gen Ahmed Radan[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77462710/%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%DA%A9%D8%B3%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AF%D8%B4%D9%85%D9%86-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A7%D9%88-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D9%85%D8%B9%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%B6 ] * I can see that the peace deal is within our reach... if we... allow [[diplomacy]] the space it needs to get there... I don't think any alternative to diplomacy is going to solve this problem. ...The [[heart]] of this deal is very important and ...we have captured that heart. ...[I]f the ultimate objective is to ensure forever, that Iran cannot have a [[Nuclear weapons|nuclear bomb]] ...we have cracked that problem ...[W]e are talking about zero stockpiling ...[I]f you cannot stockpile material that is enriched ...there is no way you can ...create a bomb ...and ...equally important ...full and comprehensive verification by the [[w:International Atomic Energy Agency|IAEA]] ...The current stockpiles ...will be down-blended to the lowest level possible ...and converted into fuel that ...will be irreversible. ...I am ...confident ...that even the United States inspectors will have access at some point ...if we have a deal that is respected, and fair, and ...durable ...We have agreed, in general, to discuss economic and security cooperation between Iran and its neighbors, and set up a process of dialogue that will ...start the elements of building confidence, ...a rapport, a process that can ...lead ...to an understanding on all these ...areas of concern ...on the Iranian side, and ...on the [[w:Gulf Cooperation Council|GCC]] side. ...Broad terms, ...the politics, the ...main issues ...can be agreed [upon] tomorrow. The technicalities will take some time to work... out with... the IAEA. ...[T]hat can also be done ...relatively quickly, because a lot of this ...groundwork was done years ago, and it's ...in place. ...The substantial progress... is... far more than any time before. We just need that bit of extra time to close the deal. ** {{w|Badr bin Hamad Al Busaidi}}, "Oman's foreign minister says U.S.-Iran nuclear 'deal is within our reach'" (Feb 27, 2026) ''{{w|Face the Nation}}'' statements prior to the US-Israeli attacks. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pg5sXQDR8NY&t=38s A Youtube video source.] *Mahdi is with us and in charge of Umma, he has through Assembly of Experts introduced Ayatallah Mojtaba Khamenei **[https://kayhan.ir/fa/news/328896/%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%B2%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%B9%D8%AC-%D9%88%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%81%D9%82%DB%8C%D9%87-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%D8%B9%D8%B1%D9%81%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF-%D9%86%DA%A9%D8%AA%D9%87 Hossein Shariatmadare] *The revolution will not sit down until flag of Mahdi is raised on all corners of earth **[https://kayhan.ir/fa/news/328901/%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%86%D9%87%E2%80%8C%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D8%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%AC%D8%AA%D8%A8%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA Hossein Shariatmadare] *To save his soldiers Trump has gone to Volodymir Zelensky president-clown of Ukraine for aid **[https://kayhan.ir/fa/news/328922/%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%86%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%AA-%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B2%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%B4-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86-%DB%8C%DA%A9-%D8%AF%D9%84%D9%82%DA%A9-%D8%B4%D8%AF Hossein Shariatmadare] *War's balance changed and Islamic Republic of Iran has the upper hand, there won't be a negotiatons any country who helps America will be targeted as enemy **[https://tasnimnews.ir/fa/news/1404/12/19/3537514/%D9%85%D9%88%D9%81%D9%82%DB%8C%D8%AA-90-%D8%AF%D8%B1%D8%B5%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%AD%D9%85%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%AA-%D9%85%D9%88%D8%B4%DA%A9%DB%8C-%D9%88-%D9%BE%D9%87%D9%BE%D8%A7%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%B2%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D9%86%D9%81%D8%B9-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA ICA] *A vessel has passed through Hormuz strait , an United States (US) military navy escorted her. In Playstation **ICA[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77461463/%D9%88%D8%A7%DA%A9%D9%86%D8%B4-%D8%B1%D8%A6%DB%8C%D8%B3-%D9%85%D8%AC%D9%84%D8%B3-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%A7%D8%AF%D8%B9%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%AF%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%BA%DB%8C%D9%86-%D9%88%D8%B2%DB%8C%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%B1%DA%98%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%AF%D8%B1%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B1%D9%87-%D8%AA%D9%86%DA%AF%D9%87 ] *We have only just begun our missiles have left utter ruin and destruction ,Netanyahu won't let you see **Abbas Iraqchi[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77462291/%D8%B9%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%82%DA%86%DB%8C-%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%B2%D9%87-%D8%B4%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%B9-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%85 ] *Our enemy is the stupidest idiot. Our defense system is an ideology not just a defense system, while when we hit Haifa their people were begging for car gas **FARAJA Cmdr Gen Achmed Radan [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77460868/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AF%D8%B4%D9%85%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A7%D8%AD%D9%85%D9%82-%D8%AA%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%86-%D9%87%D8%A7-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%86%D8%AF ] *Your children shall read Quran while sitting by the missile launchers tonight. **Gen Mousavi [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77461610/%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D9%85%D9%88%D8%B3%D9%88%DB%8C-%D9%81%D8%B1%D8%B2%D9%86%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B4%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%B4%D8%A8-%D9%BE%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%86%DA%86%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A7-%D9%82%D8%B1%D8%A2%D9%86-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%B3%D8%B1-%D9%85%DB%8C-%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AF ] [[File:HIMARS Support Operation Epic Fury (9564974).jpg|thumb|Operation Epic Fury]] ===Mar 2026=== *All vessels shall not pass Hormuz Strait **IRGCN Gen Ali Tangsiri[https://www.mehrnews.com/news/6771339/%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%AA%D9%86%DA%AF%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%B1%DB%8C-%D9%87%DB%8C%DA%86-%D8%B4%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%88%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AA%D8%A8%D8%B7-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D9%85%D8%AA%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%88%D8%B2%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AD%D9%82-%D8%B9%D8%A8%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%AA%D9%86%DA%AF%D9%87-%D9%87%D8%B1%D9%85%D8%B2 ] *How much of a cuckold is American president, Australian police has taken our girls out of the hotel and forced and made them to apply for asylum **Mehdi Taj Chairman National Football Federation[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77458637/%D9%85%D9%87%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%AC-%D8%AF%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%88%D8%B2%DA%AF%DB%8C-%D8%B1%D8%A6%DB%8C%D8%B3-%D8%AC%D9%85%D9%87%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%AA%D8%A7-%DA%86%D9%87-%D8%AD%D8%AF-%D8%AF%D9%85-%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D8%AC%D9%84%D9%88%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%AC ] *We are prepared to wage war against America for next at least another 10 year **IRGC Gen Jabari[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77449662/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%B4%D8%A7%D9%88%D8%B1-%D9%81%D8%B1%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AF%D9%87-%DA%A9%D9%84-%D8%B3%D9%BE%D8%A7%D9%87-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%B9%D9%86%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A2%D8%AF%D9%85-%D9%85%D8%B7%D9%84%D8%B9-%D9%85%DB%8C-%DA%AF%D9%88%DB%8C%D9%85-%DA%A9%D9%87 ] *Iran is the conscious of the humanity, its real dignity and glory. It is chosen people fighting for the Victory of the Light. It it Ormuzd, Ishraq. Mahdi people. **Dugin Alexander[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77392273/%D8%AA%D9%88%DB%8C%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%84%DA%A9%D8%B3%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%AF%D9%88%DA%AF%DB%8C%D9%86-%D9%BE%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%AF%DA%AF%DB%8C-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86 ] *The recent war is between good and evil **ICA[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77432191/%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D8%A7%D8%AE%DB%8C%D8%B1-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D8%AD%D9%82-%D9%88-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B7%D9%84-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA ] *Like thunder we will strike Haifa **IRGC Gen Seid mousavi[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77449498/%D8%B3%D8%B1%D9%84%D8%B4%DA%A9%D8%B1-%D8%B9%D8%A8%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%84%D9%87%DB%8C-%D9%87%D9%85%DA%86%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%B5%D8%A7%D8%B9%D9%82%D9%87-%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D8%AD%DB%8C%D9%81%D8%A7-%D9%88-%D9%BE%D8%A7%DB%8C%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%87-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D9%85%D9%86%D8%B7%D9%82%D9%87 ] * Iran’s leaders before the attack had been clear that they were willing to negotiate on the nuclear question. Talks were ongoing... There had appeared to be a good basis for agreement, given... an Iranian government that... was not in a position to enrich uranium... for the foreseeable future. ...Americans ...were deeply unhappy with the results of America’s last big wars of {{w|regime change}} ...[[War in Afghanistan (2001–2021)|in Afghanistan]] [[Iraq War|and Iraq]]. At the beginning of this joint [[w:2026 Iran war|US–Israel campaign against Iran]], only about a third of Americans supported the adventure... ** Dana Allin, "US politics and the war against Iran" (Mar 2, 2026) [https://www.iiss.org/online-analysis/online-analysis/2026/02/the-us-israel-campaign-in-iran/ "The US-Israel campaign in Iran"] @[[w:International Institute for Strategic Studies|IISS]].org *This is a war that should end it once and for all. ::[https://www.mehrnews.com/news/6764020/%D9%86%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%B2%D8%A7%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AF%D9%86%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%84-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D9%85%D9%86%D8%B7%D9%82%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%AF ICA] (Mar 2 2026) *Our Brave and Powerful Armed Forces will avenge each and every Iranian mother, , father, and child who has been targeted by hostile forces. **foreign minister Abbas Iraqchi[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77405403/%D8%B9%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%82%DA%86%DB%8C-%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%B1%D9%88%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%85%D8%B3%D9%84%D8%AD-%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AA%DA%A9-%D8%AA%DA%A9-%D8%B4%D9%87%D8%AF%D8%A7-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%D9%86%D8%AF-%DA%AF%D8%B1%D9%81%D8%AA ] *There is no shelter you can be safe **[https://www.shahrekhabar.com/news/177298212045678 IRGC text] *We will fill Americans' coffins there is no end to war unless they fully surrender. **IRGC operations mission statement[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77389339 ] *Trump is more than 500 Americans killed dead America first or israel first. Inshallah Khamenei killing has heavy price **Larijani[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77384703/%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%BE-%D8%AD%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%A8-%DA%A9%D9%86%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D9%87%D9%85-%D8%A7%D9%88%D9%84-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%DB%8C%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D9%88%D9%84-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%A6%DB%8C%D9%84 ] * Irregardless of cost. Not unlike United States of America. Same as Iran has not in past 300 years started wars, Iran is ready for long war. ** [[w:Ali Larijani|Ali Larijani]], Secretary of the Supreme National Security Council of Iran. [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77359057 Source (in Persian)] *Now that we have baited America do not make ceasefire and/or peace we must destroy them ::Ayatallah Panahian[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77388174/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%AD%D8%AC%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B3%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%85-%D9%BE%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%A7%D8%B6%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D8%AA%D8%B4-%D8%A8%D8%B3-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%86%D8%AF-%D9%86%D9%BE%D8%B0%DB%8C%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AF ] *From us Iranian people only President son Aga Yusuf Pezeshkian and his buddies have internet connection. ::[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77388864/%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D9%85%D8%A7-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%85-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%81%D9%82%D8%B7-%D8%A2%D9%82%D8%A7-%DB%8C%D9%88%D8%B3%D9%81-%D9%88-%D8%B1%D9%81%DB%8C%D9%82%D8%A7%D8%B4-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86%D8%AA%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AA-%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AF Payamemam] * These attacks from Israel and the United States... were unprovoked. There was no immanent threat. Many would interpret this war to be an illegal war. ** Evaleila Pesaran, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nJnVYpbKuM&t=600s "The war with Iran: An expert analysis"] (Mar 2, 2026) Youtube video from [[University of Cambridge|Cambridge University]] channel. * I see no indication that ...those institutions are weak or fraying or that you can destroy ...[them] from the air. ...[T]his administration is trying to justify the war the same way [[Jackson Pollock]] used to paint. You just throw a bucket of reasons up against the canvas and hope the result looks good. ...Iranian missiles ... [as] a threat to the United States... falls short of the truth by about 4,000 miles ...[I]f we're doing preventative wars now to prevent countries that might one day be a threat, is [[North Korea]]... [[China]]... [[Russia]] in line? I don't think so. ...I can't make head or tails out of the reason this administration has put forward for this war. ** [[w:Alan Eyre (diplomat)|Alan Eyre]], "Expert panel breaks down U.S. objectives in Iran war" (Mar 2, 2026) @''{{w|PBS News Hour}}''. * Once again, America is going to war for Israel. Once again, many will die for the Zionist state, including American service members. Once again, we will stumble blindly into a military fiasco. Once again, we will do the bidding of a foreign power whose interests are not our interests, but whose lobbyists have bought up our political class, including Donald Trump. Once again, we will violate the U.N. charter by attacking a country that does not pose an imminent threat. ** [[Chris Hedges]], [https://scheerpost.com/2026/03/01/going-to-war-again-for-israel/ Going to War, Again, for Israel]. ScheerPost. (March 1, 2026) * If the [[Precedents|precedent]] that is being set is, "Any country with super * [I]t is in many ways a final battle to decide what [[World War II]] was all about. Will [[international law]] crumble as a result of the unwillingness of enough countries to protect the rules of civilized [[law]] supporting the principles of [[Westphalian sovereignty|national sovereignty]], free from foreign interference and [[coercion]] from the 1648 {{w|Peace of Westphalia}} to the [[Charter of the United Nations|UN Charter]]? And with regard to wars that inevitably are to be waged, will they spare {{w|civilian}}s and non-belligerents... ** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://www.counterpunch.org/2026/03/02/the-us-israeli-attack-was-to-prevent-peace-not-advance-it/ "The US/Israeli Attack Was to Prevent Peace Not Advance It"] (Mar 2, 2026) @''{{w|Counterpunch}}'' * Iran negotiators had agreed... not to have an [[Nuclear weapons|atom bomb]]... to reduce their refined uranium, to shift the refined uranium outside of the country, and to submit to an unprecedented degree of oversight... But none of this was about an atom bomb... The... reason that America has attacked Iran... was to control Near Eastern oil... and [[David Petraeus|General Petraeus]], years ago, had outlined this whole plan... "...all of your profits and rents from the oil will be lent back to the United States, ...priced in dollars and invested in U.S. Treasury securities, U.S. bonds and U.S. stocks, so that the money, the vast dollar inflows from your oil exports, will all be part of the U.S. economy."<br />I sat in on meetings in the {{w|White House}} in 1974 when this was discussed... ** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://www.democracynow.org/2026/3/3/michael_hudson_economist_trump_iran_attack A War for Oil:] Economist Michael Hudson on U.S. Quest to Control the World’s Oil Trade (Mar 3, 2026) @{{w|Democracy Now!}} * [I]t is in many ways a final battle to decide what [[World War II]] was all about. Will [[international law]] crumble as a result of the unwillingness of enough countries to protect the rules of civilized [[law]] supporting the principles of [[Westphalian sovereignty|national sovereignty]], free from foreign interference and [[coercion]] from the 1648 {{w|Peace of Westphalia}} to the [[Charter of the United Nations|UN Charter]]? And with regard to wars that inevitably are to be waged, will they spare {{w|civilian}}s and non-belligerents... ** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://www.counterpunch.org/2026/03/02/the-us-israeli-attack-was-to-prevent-peace-not-advance-it/ "The US/Israeli Attack Was to Prevent Peace Not Advance It"] (Mar 2, 2026) @''{{w|Counterpunch}}'' *The American philosophy is, number one, you bomb civilians, you break all the rules of international law which are against that. You bomb civilians to demoralize them. And if you concentrate, as Trump did, along with Israel, a few weeks ago, you {{w|2026 Minab school attack|bomb the schools}}, you bomb the hospitals. That’s American policy in foreign countries. It’s most visible in the case of Israeli policy, in Gaza, and now the West Bank as well. And it is the same policy that the United States has followed in Iran. ** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://geopoliticaleconomy.com/2026/03/29/war-iran-change-economy-michael-hudson/ "The war on Iran is transforming the global economy: Economist Michael Hudson explains how"] (Mar 29, 2026) @Geopolitical Economy Report * Whenever a state chooses to go to [[war]]... you have to ask—where is the [[w:Intelligence assessment|intelligence]] on the threat? ...[T]he Trump administration ...in hurry mode ...chose to set [[diplomacy]] aside, despite the fact that the [mediating] [[w:Badr bin Hamad Al Busaidi#Diplomatic career|Omani foreign minister]] ...was convinced that remarkable progress had been made on the issue of [[Nuclear program of Iran|Iranian nuclear weapons]] ...[T]wo other arguments for the war: that the US faced an imminent threat from [[Iran]], and that Iran’s {{w|ballistic missile}} capability threatened the United States. Scratch this last claim—it’s simply not [[Truth|true]] ...Why would a much-weakened [[Islamic Republic of Iran|Islamic Republic]] pose an "imminent threat" ..? [[Marco Rubio]] has come forward with an absurd argument ...Does anyone truly believe that Israel would go it alone ...without US backing, that the operation was not jointly planned? ...This is all desperate [[storytelling]], not intelligence. ** {{w|Wesley Wark}}, "[https://thewalrus.ca/iran-foreign-policy-experts/ Eight Experts on What You’re Not Being Told about the War in Iran:] The questions that aren’t making it into the battlefield dispatches" (Mar 3, 2026) @''{{w|The Walrus}}'' * Ironically, the greatest beneficiaries of the United States’ grave [[wikt:violation#Noun|violation]]s of [[international law]] are the very actors whom, under normal circumstances, Washington would be seeking to restrain: [[Moscow]] will be emboldened to continue its barbaric [[w:Russo-Ukrainian war|assault on Ukraine]], while [[China]] will feel empowered to move on [[Taiwan]]. ** [[w:Stephanie Turco Williams|Stephanie T. Williams]], "Flying blind" (March 2, 2026) [https://www.brookings.edu/articles/after-the-strike-the-danger-of-war-in-iran/ "After the strike: The danger of war in Iran"] [[w:Brookings Institution|Brookings]]. * Iran negotiators had agreed... not to have an [[Nuclear weapons|atom bomb]]... to reduce their refined uranium, to shift the refined uranium outside of the country, and to submit to an unprecedented degree of oversight... But none of this was about an atom bomb... The... reason that America has attacked Iran... was to control Near Eastern oil... and [[David Petraeus|General Petraeus]], years ago, had outlined this whole plan... "...all of your profits and rents from the oil will be lent back to the United States, ...priced in dollars and invested in U.S. Treasury securities, U.S. bonds and U.S. stocks, so that the money, the vast dollar inflows from your oil exports, will all be part of the U.S. economy."<br />I sat in on meetings in the {{w|White House}} in 1974 when this was discussed... ** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://www.democracynow.org/2026/3/3/michael_hudson_economist_trump_iran_attack A War for Oil:] Economist Michael Hudson on U.S. Quest to Control the World’s Oil Trade (Mar 3, 2026) @{{w|Democracy Now!}} *It's going to be... tempting for countries to think that in a world where there are no rules.., no [[w:Law of war|rules of war]], where that [[w:Liberal international order|post-war liberal order]], imperfect as it was, is now completely being disregarded.., that makes the world more dangerous for all of us. ...[T]here was an [[order]] of some kind ...a view that a degree of [[w:Consensus decision-making|international consensus]] was necessary ...before ...[[w:Interventionism (politics)|intervening in foreign countries]]. There were rules of war... [A]ll of us need to be... very thoughtful about supporting the creation of a world where anything goes, and [[might makes right]]. ...[[United States|America]] is still the preeminent [[power]], the {{w|superpower}}, the global [[Hegemony|hegemon]]. ...I hope this is a moment for Americans to reflect on the facts that the rules-based international order, which did act as a constraint on American power, also provided America with some meaningful [[protection]]. ** [[Chrystia Freeland]], Chrystia Freeland on Iran, Ukraine, and Global Power Shifts | ''{{w|Amanpour and Company}}'' (Mar 3, 2026) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vlj_beVDuxg&t=196s 3:16.] * [I]f it's... possible that there are about to be acts of [[terrorism]] by [[Iran]] inside the United States, how can [[United States Congress|Congress]] continue to blockade funds for the [[w:United States Department of Homeland Security|Department of Homeland Security]] until it gets [[reform]]s... including an end to the [[lying]]..? You're going to see a real press by the [[Second presidency of Donald Trump|Trump administration]] to say, "Release the funds and let the Department... resume... operations.., including falsely calling people terrorists if they operate a camera near an immigration agent." You're going to see attacks on the [[freedom of the press]]. This administration... regards it as illegal, criminal, for reporters simply to ask questions of [[The Pentagon|Pentagon employees]]... Only the designated leaders... get to speak... and if they're... saying things that look like they might not be [[Truth|true]], you can't second guess or question them. We have had many instances... of false indications of [[w:Powers of the president of the United States#Emergency powers|emergency powers]]. The whole [[w:Tariffs in the second Trump administration|tariff nonsense]]... rested on [[Falsehood|false claims]] of the president... about economic emergency. ...[N]ow there's a real [[war]].., a real risk of terrorist activity... That's a much more plausible emergency.., and... what [[Courts|court]] will say, "We don't think you're telling the truth about this either"? ...So there will be new assertions of emergency power... [P]eople who have the president's ear have been urging him to use emergency powers against the [[w:2026 United States elections|elections of 2026]]. The possibility of that... are much higher today... than... a week ago. ...We're moving into extraordinary danger to democratic institutions. The [[w:2026 Iran war|war in Iran]]... is an urgent [[w:Domestic policy of the second Trump administration|domestic policy]] question... a massive grant of power to a president and administration that have proven... that they will [[Abuse of power|abuse any powers]] that they are en[[trust]]ed with. ** [[David Frum]], "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8w7KOoD8sCs&t=190s No Exit from Trump's War:] with Tom Nichols" The David Frum Show. A Youtube video from ''{{w|The Atlantic}}'' channel. (Mar 4 2026) *"Senate votes down resolution to stop Trump from continuing war with Iran" (Mar 4, 2026) **<small>''{{w|The Independent}}''. [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/senate-iran-war-vote-trump-powers-resolution-b2932221.html Source.]</small> *Nobody gets to hide and give the president an easy pass or an end-run around the Constitution. Everybody's got to declare whether they're for this war or against it. ** Sen. [[Tim Kaine]] *War is ugly, it always has been ugly, but we're taking out a regime that has been trying to attack us for quite some time. ** Sen. [[Markwayne Mullin]] *I learned when I was fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan, that when elites in Washington bang the war drums, pound their chest, talk about the costs of war and act tough, they're not talking about them doing it, they're not talking about their kids. They're talking about working class kids like us. ** Rep. [[Jason Crow]] * Why are we going into Iran? ...[I]t is the president's [[wikt:vainglory#Noun|vainglory]]. He thinks he's on a roll, that... this is easy to do; that you can [[w:2026 United States intervention in Venezuela|knock off dictatorships like Venezuela]], and then have a parade; that this solves a lot of his problems. It gets people not talking about the [[Epstein files]]. ...[A] huge chunk of [[Donald Trump]]'s [[Foreign policy of the United States|foreign policy]] is rooted in trying to get people to stop talking about the Epstein files. ...[H]e is that [[wikt:narrow-minded#Adjective|narrow]] and [[wikt:crass#Adjective|crass]]. ...Now he's going to say he's a [[w:Powers of the president of the United States#Emergency powers|war president]]. That means you can't criticize me... I can stomp on the press... I can declare a [[w:Powers of the president of the United States#Emergency powers|national emergency]]. ...As the [[Parliament of the United Kingdom|British Parliament]] said... in [~]1944... "This is not a propitious time for an [[Elections|election]]." ...[[wikt:mischief#Noun|[M]ischief]] comes with a war because... presidential war powers... become almost unchallengeable. ** [[w:Tom Nichols (academic)|Tom Nichols]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8w7KOoD8sCs&t=797s Trump’s War With Iran and a New Danger at Home] | The [[David Frum]] Show (Mar 4, 2026) A Youtube video from ''{{w|The Atlantic}}'' channel. *[[Donald Trump|The president]] was not going to be just another president on a very long list who sat back and stood by and passed the buck of this direct threat to the next administration. The president had a feeling, again, based on fact, that Iran was going to strike the United States, was going to strike our assets in the region, and he made a determination to launch Operation Epic Fury based on all of those reasons. **[[Karoline Leavitt]] quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-iran-war-white-house-briefing-b2931933.html "Karoline Leavitt insists Trump had a ‘feeling based on fact’ before Iran strikes but still won’t detail imminent threat to US"]], ''The Independent'' (05 March 2026) *[T]o take on the extraordinary risks... without having made the case with the American people.., citing immanent threats that aparently don't exist... that's problematic, and the chances of unintended consequences... are... very serious... [W]e're... using.., in many cases very expensive weapons to take down $20,000 drones. That's not a good equation... over time. ...I'm worried about ...second and third order consequences ...we so deplete our arsenal, and it takes a long time to rebuild ...puts us in a disadvantageous position when it comes to ...a [[China]] or ...[[Russia]]. ...[M]uch as ...everyone should want to see a change... it may simply ...reinforce the [[Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps|IRGC]] ...[I]t's very hard to produce regime change from outside. You can't bomb your way to it. ...The [[wikt:red flag#Noun|red flag]] ...is that this could be [[Syrian civil war|Syria]] [[wikt:redux#Noun|redux]] or ...[[Libyan Crisis (2011–present)|Libya]] redux ...the country fracturing, imploding or even exploding with [[refugee]]s and [[w:International migration|migration]].., [[Extremism|extremist]] groups taking hold... It's incredibly ...[[dangerous]]. ...[I]t's never too late for [[diplomacy]]. ...<br />[W]hen [[Russia]] is ...reaching a weak point because of its dependence on oil to fuel its war economy ...they get a lifeline, ...the price of oil is going up. The [[Europe|Europeans]], in having moved away from Russian gas, are now more dependent on the [[Middle East]]. ...If the {{w|Strait of Hormuz}} gets tied up ...that's ...a lot of pressure ...So mapping out, gaming out, planning out and ...making sure you have something in place to deal with ...second and third order effects is ...important, and it's not ...clear ...that was done ...There's been a shifting rationale ...[or] explanation for why this, why now? ...That's why it's so important to have ...laid this out before the American people, and our partners and allies. We might have had less friction with them if there was a compelling case ...and had them on the take-off, not mid-flight or on the landing. ** [[Antony Blinken]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHgG-lkOi6w&t=74s "Former Secretary of State on the Two Keys to Ending Iran War"] (Mar 4, 2026) A Youtube video from the [[w:Bloomberg News|Bloomberg]] Podcasts channel. *Majority of Experts Assembly has come to pick next leader who is Seid. **Dirbaz[https://www.etemadonline.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-9/764537-%D9%85%D8%AC%D9%84%D8%B3-%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1%DB%8C ] (Mar 8 2026) * Unprovoked attacks by the [[United States|US]] and [[Israel]]... violate the fundamental prohibition on the use of [[force]], [[Sovereignty|sovereign]] [[equality]], {{w|territorial integrity}}, and the [[duty]] to [[Peace|peacefully]] settle disputes... They also violate the {{w|right to life}}... We cannot pick and choose when [[international law]] applies. Unlawful [[military]] [[w:Interventionism (politics)|intervention]] is not a solution... These attacks do not strike military abstractions – they strike people... {{w|Civilian}}s are bearing the brunt of this war... In a country that has already lost thousands to [[Violence|violent]] [[Political repression|repression]]... these attacks deepen... profound human [[tragedy]]... The targeting of civilians, educational facilities, and medical institutions constitutes a grave violation of [[international humanitarian law]] and [[w:International human rights law|human rights law]]... Any path forward must be grounded in the [[rule of law]], the will of the [[Iranians|Iranian people]], and full accountability for the [[wikt:violation#Noun|violation]] of international law, by all parties... ** {{w|Mai Sato}}, [[w:Cecilia Bailliet|Cecilia M. Bailliet]], {{w|Astrid Puentes Riaño}}, {{w|Alexandra Xanthaki}}, {{w|Farida Shaheed}}, Surya Deva, {{w|Margaret Satterthwaite}}, {{w|Gina Romero}}, Nicolas Levrat, [[w:Richard Bennett (UN)|Richard Bennett]], Tomoya Obokata, [[w:Mary Lawlor (human rights advocate)|Mary Lawlor]], {{w|Ben Saul}}, {{w|Alice Jill Edwards}}, [[Francesca Albanese]], Morris Tidball-Binz, {{w|Siobhán Mullally}}, Gabriella Citroni, Grażyna Baranowska, Aua Baldé, Ana Lorena Delgadillo Pérez, {{w|Bina D'Costa}}, {{w|Claudia Flores}}, Ivana Krstić, {{w|Dorothy Estrada-Tanck}}, Haina Lu, [[Reem Alsalem]], {{w|Paula Gaviria Betancur}}, Elizabeth Salmón, Mariana Katzarova (Special Procedures of the Human Rights Council, volunteer Special Rapporteurs/Independent Experts/Working Groups) [https://www.ohchr.org/en/press-releases/2026/03/iran-un-experts-call-de-escalation-and-accountability "Iran: UN experts call for de-escalation and accountability"] (Mar 4, 2026) [[w:Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights|OHCHR]]. * [[Mohammed bin Salman|The Crown Prince]] and other [[w:Arab states of the Persian Gulf|Gulf]] leaders have been urging America not to undertake military action against Iran, because all of us believe... action will not remain confined to Iran; that Iran will retaliate against American in the area, which is present in all of the Gulf states, and as far away as [[Turkey]]... They've been warning the Americans not to undertake military action and suffer the consequences. ...I don't think the system in Iran will collapse any time soon. ...Iranian leadership has been preparing for an eventuality like this, because of what they have continued to hear from [[Benjamin Netanyahu|Mr. Netanyahu]] in the past 40 years. He has been calling for the destruction of Iran, and so the Iranians... have been preparing themselves for such an eventuality. ...The only way the system will go... is through the Iranian people. ** {{w|Turki bin Faisal Al Saud}}, "Fmr. Saudi Intelligence Chief Discusses Gulf States' Reaction to Iran Attacks | ''{{w|Amanpour and Company}}''" [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfGcX4XuZ5A&t=62s 1:02,] 5:08. * Iran just stated that they are going to hit very hard today, harder than they have ever been hit before.., THEY BETTER NOT DO THAT, HOWEVER, BECAUSE IF THEY DO, WE WILL HIT THEM WITH A FORCE THAT HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE! ** [[Donald J. Trump]], post on Truth Social, "Trump warns Iran of unprecedented force if it retaliates" (Feb 28, 2026) {{w|Reuters}}. *I think the war is very complete, pretty much. [Iran has] no navy, no communications, they've got no air force. Their missiles are down to a scatter. Their drones are being blown up all over the place, including their manufacturing of drones. **[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-iran-cbs-news-the-war-is-very-complete-strait-hormuz/ "Trump says 'the war is very complete,' and he's considering taking over Strait of Hormuz"], ''CBS News'' (Mar 9 2026) *US officials are posting fake news to manipulate narkets. It won't protect them from inflationary tsunami they've imposed on Americans Markets are facing biggest shortfall in HISTORY bigger than Arab Oil Embargo, Kuwait **[https://www.etemadonline.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%85%D9%84%D9%84-17/764878-%D8%B9%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%82%DA%86%DB%8C-%D9%88%D8%B2%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%AC%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7 Mr Iraqchi] (Mar 10 2026) *If Iran does anything that stops the flow of Oil within the Strait of Hormuz, they will be hit by the United States of America TWENTY TIMES HARDER than they have been hit thus far. Additionally, we will take out easily destroyable targets that will make it virtually impossible for Iran to ever be built back, as a Nation, again - Death, Fire, and Fury will reign upon them - But I hope, and pray, that it does not happen! This is a gift from the United States of America to China, and all of those Nations that heavily use the Hormuz Strait. Hopefully, it is a gesture that will be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your attention to this matter! President DONALD J. TRUMP **[https://x.com/WhiteHouse/status/2031167037620236703 Trump on TruthSocial] (10 March 2026) *Most definitely we are not seeking ceasefire we will break zionist life cycle of war-negotiations-ceasefire and then war again forever **Moahamedbagher Ghabilaf[https://www.etemadonline.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-9/764797-%D8%A2%D8%AA%D8%B4-%D8%A8%D8%B3-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86- %D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%A6%DB%8C%D9%84 ] (Mar 10 2026) *Take Bahrain back! Annex it **MP Aytallah Resaei Hamid[https://www.khabarfoori.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-59/3200147-%DB%8C%DA%A9-%D9%86%D9%85%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86%D8%AF%D9%87-%D9%85%D8%AC%D9%84%D8%B3-%D8%A8%D8%AD%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D9%BE%D8%B3-%D8%A8%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%85 ], 12 March 2026 *I have seen his body after martyred, I heard he clenched his fist.You people have led the country. The will of the masses is to continue the effective and regrettable defense. Certainly, the leverage of blocking the Strait of Hormuz should still be used. Neighboring countries must make their position clear to the aggressors against our country... In any case, we will demand compensation from the enemy; if they refuse, we will seize as much of their property as we determine; if that is not possible, we will destroy as much of their property as we can. **Mojtaba Khamenei (12 March 2026)[https://www.irna.ir/news/86100475/%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B9%D8%B8%D9%85-%D8%A7%D9%86%D9%82%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%AA%D8%A7%DA%A9%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D9%86%D9%82%D8%B4-%D9%88-%D8%AD%D8%B6%D9%88%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%85-%D8%AD%D8%B6%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%B5%D8%AD%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF ][https://www.khabarfoori.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-59/3200277-%D8%B4%D9%85%D8%A7-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%85-%DA%A9%D8%B4%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AE%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%B4%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B4%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%B5%D8%B1%D9%81-%D9%86%D8%B8%D8%B1-%D9%86%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%85-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF-%D9%87%D9%85%DA%86%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AA%D9%86%DA%AF%D9%87-%D9%87%D8%B1%D9%85%D8%B2-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%87-%D8%A8%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%B9%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AF%D9%88%D8%B3%D8%AA%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D9%87%D9%85%D8%B3%D8%A7%DB%8C%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%DB%8C%D9%85 ] *Aggression against soil of Iranian islands will shatter all restraint. We will abandon all restraint and make the Persian Gulf run with the blood of invaders. **[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77477478/%D9%82%D8%A7%D9%84%DB%8C%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%81-%D9%87%D8%B1%DA%AF%D9%88%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%AA%D8%B9%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%D8%A7%DA%A9-%D8%AC%D8%B2%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D9%88%DB%8C%D8%B4%D9%86%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%AA%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D9%85%DB%8C], ''Qalibaf'' (12 March 2026) *The [[United States]] is the largest Oil Producer in the World, by far, so when oil prices go up, we make a lot of money. BUT, of far greater interest and importance to me, as President, is stoping an evil Empire, Iran, from having Nuclear Weapons, and destroying the [[Middle East]] and, indeed, the World. I won’t ever let that happen! **[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/iran-us-war-live-updates-supreme-leader-trump-oil-b2937272.html "Iran-US war latest: Supreme leader statement threatens fresh attacks after UK base in Iraq hit by drone swarm"], ''The Independent'' (12 March 2026) *As long as America and Zionist exist humankind will not see quiet. To establish peace they must be destroyed **Aytallah Khatami Imam Tehran [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77485962/%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%AA%D9%85%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%B5%D9%84%D8%AD-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B1%DA%98%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%B5%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%88%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%AF ][https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77487036/%D8%AA%D8%A7-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D9%88-%D8%B1%DA%98%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%B5%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%88%D9%86%DB%8C-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%86%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%B4%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D8%B1%D9%88%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%B4-%D9%86%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%D8%AF-%D8%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF] (13 March 2026) *Just run! **IRGC hebrew text [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77499999/%D8%AE%D8%B7%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%B3%D8%A7%DA%A9%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%B2%D9%85%DB%8C%D9%86-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B4%D8%BA%D8%A7%D9%84%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D9%84%D8%A7-%D9%81%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%B1-%DA%A9%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF ] (14 March 2026) *If Americans do heliborne operation on taking over Khark Island we will attack their bases and take prisoners **FM Manouchehr Motaki Iran negotiators [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77500152/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%AA%DA%A9%DB%8C-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7%DB%8C%DB%8C-%D9%87%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%D9%86%D8%AF-%D8%AC%D8%B2%DB%8C%D8%B1%D9%87-%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%B1%DA%A9-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B4%D8%BA%D8%A7%D9%84-%DA%A9%D9%86%D9%86%D8%AF ] (14 March 2026) *If the [[2026 FIFA World Cup|World Cup]] games are in [[Mexico]] maybe we will go **Minister of youth & sport [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77499588/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%88%D8%B2%DB%8C%D8%B1-%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%B2%D8%B4-%D9%81%DB%8C%D9%81%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%DB%8C%D8%B2%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%87%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7], (14 March 2026) *Countries in region are supposed to pay reparations for killing Khamenei. **VP Mohammed Mokhber [https://www.mehrnews.com/news/6774791/%D9%85%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1-%DA%A9%D8%B4%D9%88%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%85%D9%86%D8%B7%D9%82%D9%87-%D9%85%DA%A9%D9%84%D9%81-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AC%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AE%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%AA-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%86%D8%AF] (14 March 2026) *When I feel it. When I feel it in my bones. **[[President Trump]] quoted when asked when the war will end: [https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/trump-says-iran-war-will-end-when-i-feel-it-in-my-bones_uk_69b57775e4b09d87d0277fa2 "Trump Says Iran War Will End 'When I Feel It In My Bones'"], ''Huffington Post'' (14 March 2026) *It's a little unfair. You win a war, but they have no right to be doing what they're doing. **[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c70k29914q4o "Surge in US petrol prices deepens political peril for Trump over Iran"], ''BBC News'' (17 March 2026) *Because of the fact that we have had such Military Success, we no longer “need,” or desire, the NATO Countries’ assistance — WE NEVER DID! Likewise, Japan, Australia, or South Korea. In fact, speaking as President of the United States of America, by far the Most Powerful Country Anywhere in the World, WE DO NOT NEED THE HELP OF ANYONE! **[https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116245182325726375 Donald Trump on Truth Social] (17 Mar 2026) *[[Israel]], out of anger for what has taken place in the Middle East, has violently lashed out at a major facility known as South Pars Gas Field in Iran. A relatively small section of the whole has been hit. The United States knew nothing about this particular attack, and the country of [[Qatar]] was in no way, shape, or form, involved with it, nor did it have any idea that it was going to happen. Unfortunately, Iran did not know this, or any of the pertinent facts pertaining to the South Pars attack, and unjustifiably and unfairly attacked a portion of Qatar’s LNG Gas facility. NO MORE ATTACKS WILL BE MADE BY ISRAEL pertaining to this extremely important and valuable South Pars Field unless Iran unwisely decides to attack a very innocent, in this case, Qatar - In which instance the United States of America, with or without the help or consent of Israel, will massively blow up the entirety of the South Pars Gas Field at an amount of strength and power that Iran has never seen or witnessed before. I do not want to authorize this level of violence and destruction because of the long term implications that it will have on the future of Iran, but if Qatar’s LNG is again attacked, I will not hesitate to do so. **[[Donald Trump]] on [https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116253388303392718 Truth Social] (Mar 19, 2026) * Iranian missiles do not differentiate between Muslim and Christian and Jew and whichever religion, they're out there to kill anybody because they feel everybody who doesn't accept their belief is an infidel. **Israeli President [[Isaac Herzog]] following the 2026 Beit Awwa salon strike in the West Bank. (Mar 19, 2026)[https://www.jpost.com/middle-east/iran-news/article-890479] *We are getting very close to meeting our objectives as we consider winding down our great Military efforts in the Middle East with respect to the Terrorist Regime of [[Iran]]: (1) Completely degrading Iranian Missile Capability, Launchers, and everything else pertaining to them. (2) Destroying Iran’s Defense Industrial Base. (3) Eliminating their Navy and Air Force, including Anti Aircraft Weaponry. (4) Never allowing Iran to get even close to Nuclear Capability, and always being in a position where the U.S.A. can quickly and powerfully react to such a situation, should it take place. (5) Protecting, at the highest level, our Middle Eastern Allies, including [[Israel]], [[Saudi Arabia]], [[Qatar]], the [[United Arab Emirates]], [[w:Bahrain|Bahrain]], [[Kuwait]], and others. The [[w:Hormuz Strait|Hormuz Strait]] will have to be guarded and policed, as necessary, by other Nations who use it — The United States does not! **[[Donald Trump]] on [https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116263563453969628 Truth Social] (Mar 20, 2026) [[File:Strait of Hormuz.jpg|thumb|Strait of Hormuz]] *If Iran doesn’t FULLY OPEN, WITHOUT THREAT, the [[w:Strait of Hormuz|Strait of Hormuz]], within 48 HOURS from this exact point in time, the United States of America will hit and obliterate their various POWER PLANTS, STARTING WITH THE BIGGEST ONE FIRST! **[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/clyxv87zwwpo "Trump at a crossroads as US weighs tough options in Iran"], ''BBC News'' (21 March 2026) *In difficult times like these, when events seem both confused and confusing, [[Mark Twain]]’s “broken fragments of antique legends” can remind us of historical analogies like the collapse of the power and influence of [[Great Britain]] or of the [[Soviet Union]] that can help us understand how the past often whispers to the present — as it indeed seems to be doing these days in the [[Strait of Hormuz]]. ** [[Alfred W. McCoy]], [https://inkstickmedia.com/how-the-iran-war-gave-trump-his-very-own-suez-crisis/ "How the Iran War Gave Trump His Very Own Suez Crisis"] (21 March 2026) *No countries that are [[North Atlantic Treaty Organization|NATO]] allies that have been bullied by Trump are going to be willing… to go on this suicide mission for someone who is an asshole to them. **Adam Mockler from [[w:MeidasTouch|MeidasTouch]] quoted telling [[CNN]] in [https://inews.co.uk/news/world/trump-iran-gamble-failed-americas-allies-pay-it-4309972 "Trump’s Iran gamble has failed – and America’s allies will pay for it"], ''iNews'' (March 22, 2026) *Maybe me. Me and the ayatollah, whoever the ayatollah is, whoever the next ayatollah is. There’s automatically a regime change, but we’re dealing with some people that I find to be very reasonable, very solid. The people within know who they are. They’re very respected, and maybe one of them will be exactly what we’re looking for. **[[Donald Trump]] quoted on who would control the [[w:Strait of Hormuz|Strait of Hormuz]] in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/trump-ayatollah-joint-leadership-hormuz-b2944024.html "Trump proposes extraordinary ‘joint leadership’ of Iran alongside ayatollah"], ''Independent'' (23 March 2026) *No negotiations have been held with the US, and fake news is used to manipulate the financial and oil markets and escape the quagmire in which the US and Israel are trapped. **[[w:Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf|Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf]] quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/trump-ayatollah-joint-leadership-hormuz-b2944024.html "Trump proposes extraordinary ‘joint leadership’ of Iran alongside ayatollah"], ''Independent'' (23 March 2026) *Because they’re going to make a deal. They did something yesterday that was amazing, actually. They gave us a present. And the present arrived today. And it was a very big present worth a tremendous amount of money. And I’m not going to tell you what that present is, but it was a very significant prize.… That meant one thing to me—we’re dealing with the right people. **[[Donald Trump]] quoted on negotiations with [[Iran]] in [https://www.newsbreak.com/the-new-republic-1991457/4556482986909-trump-says-he-changed-his-mind-after-iran-gave-very-big-present "Trump Says He Changed His Mind After Iran Gave 'Very Big Present'"], ''Newsbreak'' (24 March 2026) *Has the level of your inner ⁠struggle reached the stage ⁠of you negotiating with yourself? **Iranian Ebrahim Zolfaqari's rhetorical question to Donald Trump quoted in [https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2026/3/25/us-talking-to-itself-says-iran-as-trump-claims-wheels-of-diplomacy-turning "US talking to itself, says Iran as Trump claims wheels of diplomacy turning"], ''Al Jazeera'' (25 March 2026) * The enemy signals negotiation in public, while in secret it plots a ground attack. Our firing continues. Our missiles are in place. Our determination and faith have increased. [Iranian forces] are waiting for the arrival of American troops on the ground to set them on fire and punish their regional partners for ever. ** Iranian parliament speaker, [[w:Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf|Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf]], quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/mar/29/iran-accuses-us-plotting-ground-assault-publicly-seeking-talks "Iran accuses US of plotting ground assault while publicly seeking talks"], ''Guardian'' (29 March 2026) *This is our God: Jesus, king of peace, who rejects war, whom no one can use to justify war. He does not listen to the prayers of those who wage war, but rejects them. * ([[Isaiah]] 1:15) ‘Even though you make many prayers, I will not listen: your hands are full of blood.’ **[[Pope Leo XIV]] quoting ''Book of Isaiah'', reported in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cje4x38q8xqt?post=asset%3A58d1f907-b13b-443a-b413-d7741b63b566 "'Hands full of blood': Pope Leo seemingly criticises those involved in war"], ''BBC News'' (29 March 2026) ===Apr 2026=== [[File:Gas prices Sonoma, California April 7 2026.jpg|thumb|Trump: We will consider when Hormuz Strait is open, free, and clear. Until then, we are blasting Iran into oblivion or, as they say, back to the Stone Ages.]] *We're finishing the job, and I think within maybe two weeks, maybe a couple of days longer, to do the job. But we want to knock out every single thing they have. Now, it's possible that we'll make a deal before that. **[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://newsroom.ap.org/editorial-photos-videos/detail?itemid=ad13f6002bde4e30befd5495f58499d9 "Trump: US could leave Iran in 2 to 3 weeks, securing Strait of Hormuz is 'not for us'"], ''AP News'' (Apr 1, 2026) *We will consider [a ceasefire] when [[w:Hormuz Strait|Hormuz Strait]] is open, free, and clear. Until then, we are blasting [[Iran]] into oblivion or, as they say, back to the Stone Ages. **[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-iran-speech-stone-age-b2950116.html "Trump threatens both Iran and NATO allies ahead of primetime address on war: ‘Back to the Stone Ages’"], ''Independent'' (Apr 1, 2026) *If hostility escalates, the entire region will turn into hell for you; the illusion of defeating the Islamic Republic of Iran will become a quagmire into which you will sink. **[[w:Ebrahim Zolfaghari|Ebrahim Zolfaghari]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c5y90jl8veyo US and "Iran trade threats to unleash 'hell' as search for missing US airman continues"], ''BBC News'' (4 April 2026) *In the attempt to try to prevent Iran from developing a weapon of mass destruction, the US handed Iran a weapon of mass disruption. **Ali Vaez, quoted in [https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/us-intelligence-warns-iran-unlikely-ease-hormuz-strait-chokehold-soon-sources-2026-04-03/ Reuters] *Tuesday will be Power Plant Day, and Bridge Day, all wrapped up in one, in Iran. There will be nothing like it!!! Open the Fuckin' Strait, you crazy bastards, or you'll be living in Hell - JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah. President DONALD J. TRUMP **[https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvg0q6wdzp1o Trump issues expletive-laden threat to Iran over Hormuz Strait blockage], ''BBC News'' (5 April 2026) * Subject to the Islamic Republic of Iran agreeing to the COMPLETE, IMMEDIATE, and SAFE OPENING of the Strait of Hormuz, I agree to suspend the bombing and attack of Iran for a period of two weeks ** [[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/apr/07/trump-iran-war-ceasefire US and Iran agree to provisional ceasefire as Tehran says it will reopen strait of Hormuz], ''The Guardian'' (8 April 2026 ) * If attacks against Iran are halted, our Powerful Armed Forces will cease their defensive operations. For a period of two weeks, safe passage through the Strait of Hormuz will be possible via coordination with Iran's Armed Forces and with due consideration of technical limitations. ** Iran’s foreign minister, [[w:Abbas Araghchi|Abbas Araghchi]] quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/apr/07/trump-iran-war-ceasefire "US and Iran agree to provisional ceasefire as Tehran says it will reopen strait of Hormuz"], ''The Guardian'' (8 April 2026 ) * The Iranians don’t seem to realize they have no cards, other than a short term extortion of the World by using International Waterways. The only reason they are alive today is to negotiate! ** [[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/apr/10/jd-vance-warns-iran-against-trying-to-play-the-us-in-peace-talks "JD Vance warns Iran against trying to ‘play’ the US in peace talks"], ''The Guardian'' (10 April 2026 ) *The simple question is, do we see a fundamental commitment of will for the Iranians not to develop a nuclear weapon, not just now, not just two years from now, but for the long term. We haven’t seen that yet. **[[JD Vance]] quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/iran-us-peace-talks-vance-trump-b2956013.html "Why the US-Iran peace talks failed after just one day – and what happens next"], ''The Independent'' (12 April 2026) * We’re going to clean out the strait. **[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/5827840-trump-navy-strait-hormuz-blockade/ "US military will ‘clean out’ Strait of Hormuz: Trump"], ''The Hill'' (12 April 2026) * We’re very disappointed with [[NATO]], we’re very, very disappointed that they didn’t come. Now, they want to come and they want to help with the strait. **Trump quoted in [https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/5827840-trump-navy-strait-hormuz-blockade/ "US military will ‘clean out’ Strait of Hormuz: Trump"], ''The Hill'' (12 April 2026) [[File:Straße von Hormuz.jpg|thumb|Trump - Iran has agreed to never close the Strait of Hormuz again]] * In line with the ceasefire in Lebanon, the passage for all commercial vessels through [the] [[w:Strait of Hormuz|Strait of Hormuz]] is declared completely open for the remaining period of ceasefire, on the coordinated route as already announced by Ports and Maritime Organisation of the Islamic Rep. of Iran. ** Iran Foreign Minister [[w:Abbas Araghchi|Abbas Araghchi]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cqxdg17yr2wt Iran says Strait of Hormuz is 'open' as Trump says US blockade will continue until deal reached], ''BBC News'' (Apr 17, 2026) * [[Iran]] has agreed to never close the Strait of Hormuz again. It will no longer be used as a weapon against the World! ** [https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116420562510387829 Donald Trump on Truth Social] (Apr 17, 2026) * Based on the fact that the Government of [[Iran]] is seriously fractured, not unexpectedly so and, upon the request of Field Marshal Asim Munir, and Prime Minister [[w:Shehbaz Sharif|Shehbaz Sharif]], of [[Pakistan]], we have been asked to hold our Attack on the Country of Iran until such time as their leaders and representatives can come up with a unified proposal. I have therefore directed our Military to continue the Blockade and, in all other respects, remain ready and able, and will therefore extend the Ceasefire until such time as their proposal is submitted, and discussions are concluded, one way or the other. ** [[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cx297218m9vt "Iran says reopening Strait of Hormuz 'impossible' if US blockade continues"], ''BBC News'' (Apr 22, 2026) * We are all 'Iranian' and 'revolutionary,' and with the iron unity of the nation and government, with complete obedience to the Supreme Leader. We will make the aggressor criminal regret his actions. ** Iran's President {{w|Masoud Pezeshkian}} quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c0mjev4kn9jt?page=2 "Trump says Israel-Lebanon ceasefire extended by three weeks, but he won't 'rush' Iran deal"], ''BBC News'' (Apr 24, 2026) ===May 2026=== *Iran has taken some shots at unrelated Nations with respect to the Ship Movement, PROJECT FREEDOM, including a South Korean Cargo Ship. Perhaps it’s time for South Korea to come and join the mission!{{Pbri}}We’ve shot down seven small Boats or, as they like to call them, “fast” Boats. It’s all they have left. Other than the South Korean Ship, there has been, at this moment, no damage going through the Strait. Secretary of War Pete Hegseth and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Dan Caine, will have a News Conference tomorrow morning. ** [https://truthsocial.com/@realdonaldtrump Trump Truth Social Truth], 4 May 2026 *Countries from all over the World. almost all of which are not involved in the Middle Eastern dispute going on so visibly, and violently, for all to see, have asked the United States if we could help free up their Ships. which are locked up in the Strait of Hormuz, on something which they have absolutely nothing to do with - They are merely neutral and innocent bystanders! For the good of Iran, the Middle East, and the United States, we have told these Countries that we will guide their Ships safely out of these restricted Waterways, so that they can freely and ably get on with their business. Again, these are Ships from areas of the World that are not in any way involved with that which is currently taking place in the Middle East. I have told my Representatives to inform them that we will use best efforts to get their Ships and Crews safely out of the Strait. In all cases, they said they will not be returning until the area becomes safe for navigation, and everything else. This process, '''Project Freedom''', will begin Monday morning, Middle East time. I am fully aware that my Representatives are having very positive discussions with the Country of Iran, and that these discussions could lead to something very positive for all. The Ship movement is merely meant to free up people, companies, and Countries that have done absolutely nothing wrong - They are victims of circumstance. This is a Humanitarian gesture on behalf of the United States, Middle Eastern Countries but, in particular, the Country of Iran. Many of these Ships are running low on food, and everything else necessary for large scale crews to stay on board in a healthy and sanitary manner. I think it would go a long way in showing Goodwill on behalf of all of those who have been fighting so strenuously over the last number of months. If, in any way, this Humanitarian process is interfered with, that interference will, unfortunately, have to be dealt with forcefully. Thank you for your attention to this matter! **[https://truthsocial.com/@realdonaldtrump Trump Truth Social Truth] *Quranic verdict of Zarif and Rouhani is execution definitely indeed **Qasemian[https://www.khabaronline.ir/news/2213690/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%82%D8%A7%D8%B3%D9%85%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AD%DA%A9%D9%85-%D9%82%D8%B1%D8%A2%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D8%B8%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%81-%D9%88-%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%AD%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D9%82%D8%B7%D8%B9%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B9%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%85 ]19:05, (3 May 2026) * Do you take out your wife, sister and wife so that unmarried men can look? There is a law, the parliament has approved it. I advise these women who come out without hijab: gather yourself. If these people decide, they will destroy your life. Netanyahu kills people, you beat people's opinion. They come again and appear in the square and street. Will you bring your sister and this woman so that the eyes of non-mahram men will fall on her situation? **[https://www.khabaronline.ir/news/2213662/%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%87-%D8%B1%D8%B4%D8%AA-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%85-%D8%AA%D8%B5%D9%85%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%A8%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AF-%D8%AF%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%B2%DA%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%A8%DB%8C-%D8%AD%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D9%87%D8%A7 Imam Juma Rasht] (3 May 2026) * Operation Epic Fury is concluded. We achieved the objectives of that operation. ** [[Marco Rubio]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c1wz2ld4535t US "Secretary of State Marco Rubio says offensive stage of Iran war is 'over'"], ''BBC News'' (4 May 2026) * Based on the request of [[Pakistan]] and other Countries, the tremendous Military Success that we have had during the Campaign against the Country of Iran and, additionally, the fact that Great Progress has been made toward a Complete and Final Agreement with Representatives of Iran, we have mutually agreed that, while the Blockade will remain in full force and effect, Project Freedom (The Movement of Ships through the Strait of Hormuz) will be paused for a short period of time to see whether or not the Agreement can be finalized and signed. ** Trump quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c152zyj0599t "Trump says US will pause operation to guide ships through Strait of Hormuz"], ''BBC News'' (6 May 2026) * We have such a great military and great navy. And they were going straight through, and they said, “Turn your ship around!”. And there was no response. “Turn your ship around! Evacuate your engine room immediately!” And you see all these guys running out of there. Now, they’re five miles away — in one shot, into the engine room, blew up the engine room; the ship stopped, and they used tugboats. And then we landed on top of it — on top of everything else — we then land on top of it. And '''we took over the ship; we took over the cargo, took over the oil. It’s a very profitable business'''. Who would have thought we were doing that? '''We’re like pirates. We’re sort of like pirates'''. But we’re not playing games. ** Trump quoted in [https://geopoliticaleconomy.com/2026/05/09/trump-pirates-iran-ships-china-us-sanctions/ Trump boasts ‘we’re like pirates’, seizing Iran’s ships, as China challenges US sanctions]. Geopolitical Economy Report. (9 May 2026) * We will never bow our heads before the enemy, and if talk of dialogue or negotiation arises, it does not mean surrender or retreat. ** Iranian President [[w:Masoud Pezeshkian|Masoud Pezeshkian]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/clypgz9e5pmo "Trump calls Iran response to US proposal to end war 'totally unacceptable"], ''BBC News'' (10 May 2026) * 1.They martyred the great and devoted leader of the Islamic Revolution 2.No Muslim country came to Iran aid What sort of Islam is this .. what kind of Muslimhoodness is this 3.- Iran continues to resist the big and small Satan (America and Israel 4.On one side of today's battle are America and Israel, and on the other side are Muslim Iran and the resistance forces. Which side are you 5.- Think about the future of the Islamic world. You know that America is not loyal to you and Israel is your enemy. Think for a minute about yourself and the future of the region. 6.unity of the Islamic Ummah with all its power can provide and guarantee the security, excellence and independence of countries for everyone **letter to 6 countries Larijani[https://fa.alalam.ir/news/7428293/%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%87-%DB%B6-%D8%A8%D9%86%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D8%B7%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D9%85%D8%B3%D9%84%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AC%D9%87%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%88-%D8%AF%D9%88%D9%84%D8%AA-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%85%DB%8C ] *If you want internet Pack and get up leave your things go to Afghanistan live there where is internet **IRIB anchor man [https://fararu.com/fa/news/970808/%D8%B4%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B2%DB%8C-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86%D8%AA%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AA-5g-%D8%A7%D9%81%D8%BA%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D9%88%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%87%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AC%D8%A7-%D8%B2%D9%86%D8%AF%DA%AF%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF ]p *Like a rogue gang, the Iranian regime is pillaging resources that rightfully belong to the Iraqi people. Treasury will not stand idly by as Iran's military exploits Iraqi oil to fund terrorism against the United States and our partners. **[https://twitter.com/SecScottBessent/status/2052447601304178863?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw Bessent] *Gods order to fight Fitne. Israel is to be wiped off out.Division cause failure against enemies **Imam Karaj[https://www.imna.ir/news/971477/%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%87-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AC-%D8%A7%D8%AE%D8%AA%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%81-%D8%A7%D9%81%DA%A9%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%B2%D9%85%DB%8C%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%B4%DA%A9%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D8%AF%D8%B4%D9%85%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA ][https://www.didbaniran.ir/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-3/284228-%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%87-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AC-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%AE%D8%AF%D8%A7-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%DA%A9%D9%87-%D8%AA%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%B1%D9%81%D8%AA%D9%86-%D9%81%D8%AA%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%A8%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AF%D8%B4%D9%85%D9%86-%D8%A7%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%B2%D9%87-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B2%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%B2%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%AF%D8%B4-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D9%86%D8%AF%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%85 ] *Report of high Damage of internet blackout from government is greatly exaggerated . **[https://www.zoomit.ir/iran-news/459800-denies-exaggerated-internet-outage-claims/] MP of Tehran 18:28, 15 May 2026 (UTC)~ *Trump is hopeless and desperate he went to begging China for no result. He will not be satisfied until Iran is destoryed. **[https://www.khabaronline.ir/news/2219513/%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%87-%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%84-%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%BE-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AA%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%B3-%D8%A8%D9%87-%DA%86%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%86%D8%AA%DB%8C%D8%AC%D9%87-%D9%86%DA%AF%D8%B1%D9%81%D8%AA Ayatollah Imam Ardebil] 18:28, 15 May 2026 (UTC)~ *China encourages the US and Iran to continue resolving their differences and disputes, including the nuclear issue, through negotiations, and advocates the swift reopening of the Strait of Hormuz on the basis of maintaining a ceasefire **Chinese FM Wang[https://aa.com.tr/en/asia-pacific/chinese-top-diplomat-urges-diplomacy-on-iran-after-trump-xi-summit/3938851 ]18:28, 15 May 2026 (UTC)~ *The most important issue today is trust. We cannot trust the Americans in any way **Iraqchi [https://en.mehrnews.com/news/244536/Araghchi-holds-presser-in-New-Delhi ] 18:30, 15 May 2026 (UTC)~ == See also == * [[Iran]] * [[Israel]] * [[Middle East]] * [[Second presidency of Donald Trump]] * [[Might makes right]] == External links == {{Wikipedia}} {{Commons category}} * [https://www.bbc.com BBC coverage of 2026 Iran conflict] * [https://www.aljazeera.com/news Al Jazeera: Iran crisis coverage] [[Category:2026]] [[Category:2020s in Iran]] [[Category:Wars and battles]] [[Category:Arab-Israeli conflict]] t3gx29oh6hyzes7xr1au2qak570ntnc 3942147 3942144 2026-05-17T19:56:08Z C.J. Griffin 862699 Ce 3942147 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Pirate Flag of Jack Rackham.svg|thumb|We took over the ship; we took over the cargo, took over the oil. It’s a very profitable business . . . We’re like pirates. We’re sort of like pirates. - Trump[https://geopoliticaleconomy.com/2026/05/09/trump-pirates-iran-ships-china-us-sanctions/]]] [[File:Flag of the United States Secretary of the Army.svg|thumb|God is good~Hegseth[https://www.cnn.com/2026/04/06/politics/hegseth-trump-iran-war-easter-christianity-analysis ]]][[File:TrinityDetonation1945GIF.gif|thumb|If there's no ceasefire, you're just going to have to look at one big glow coming out of Iran. President DJT[https://www.skynews.com.au/world-news/united-states/one-big-glow-coming-out-of-iran-trumps-wild-threat-as-he-hints-peace-deal-talks-might-collapse/video/8a668c00deaff3d27568bc78441e4a29 ]]] [[File:Seal_of_the_Army_of_the_Guardians_of_the_Islamic_Revolution.svg|thumb|Having an atomic bomb is used to scare the enemy, and we should not use this bomb on the people in any way, unless it happens.[http://didbaniran.ir/fa/tiny/news-281553 Nataj]]][[File:Donald Trump OEF.jpg|thumb|Trump: "I think the war is very complete, pretty much" (Mar 9th)]] On 28 February 2026, [[Israel]] and the [[United States]] launched a '''[[w:2026 Iran War|coordinated joint attack]]''' on multiple sites in [[Iran]], sparking a major conflict. The operation, codenamed '''Operation Roaring Lion''' and '''Operation Epic Fury''' by the [[w:United States Department of Defense|U.S. Department of Defense]], targeted senior Iranian officials, military command centers, and key strategic facilities, with the declared aim of [[w:regime change|regime change]]. The attack included the [[w:Assassination of Ali Khamenei|assassination]] of Iran’s second [[w:Supreme Leader of Iran|Supreme Leader]], [[Ali Khamenei]]. The strikes began in the cities of [[Tehran]], [[w:Isfahan|Isfahan]], [[w:Qom|Qom]], [[w:Karaj|Karaj]], and [[w:Kermanshah|Kermanshah]]. Several Iranian government figures were killed, including [[w:Ali Shamkhani|Ali Shamkhani]], the secretary of the [[w:Supreme National Security Council|Supreme National Security Council]]. Witnesses reported explosions across multiple regions. Israeli Defense Minister [[w:Israel Katz|Israel Katz]] confirmed that the [[w:Israel Defense Forces|Israel Defense Forces]] had conducted the strikes. [[w:Donald Trump|Donald Trump]], in a video posted on [[w:Truth Social|Truth Social]], announced that the United States had joined Israel in launching attacks against Iran. In retaliation, Iranian forces launched dozens of [[w:Unmanned aerial vehicles in the Iranian military|drones]] and [[w:ballistic missiles|ballistic missiles]] across the [[w:Persian Gulf|Persian Gulf]], targeting Israel as well as U.S. military installations in [[Jordan]], [[Kuwait]], [[w:Bahrain|Bahrain]], [[Qatar]], [[Iraq]], [[Saudi Arabia]], and the [[United Arab Emirates]]. [[File:Khamenei last end year 5458884.jpg|thumb|The newly supreme appointed leader should deliver message of the peace to world and declare new era in Iran , a historic neccessity to free political prisoners and declare public general amnesty for those that haven't collaborated in killing Iranians and/or 2026 Iran massacres [https://www.khabarfoori.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-59/3198657-%D8%AC%D8%A8%D9%87%D9%87-%D8%A7%D8%B5%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%AD%D8%A7%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AA%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1%DB%8C-%D8%AC%D8%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AD%D8%A7%D9%88%DB%8C-%D9%BE%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%B5%D9%84%D8%AD-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AC%D9%87%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A2%D8%BA%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%AF%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%B2%D9%87-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B4%D8%AF-%D8%A7%D8%B9%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%B9%D9%81%D9%88-%D8%B9%D9%85%D9%88%D9%85%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D9%84%DB%8C%D9%87-%DA%A9%D8%B3%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D9%87-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%B4%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%A2%D9%84%D9%88%D8%AF%D9%87-%D9%86%D8%B4%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A2%D8%B2%D8%A7%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D9%87%D9%85%D9%87-%D8%B2%D9%86%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-%D9%81%D8%B9%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%D8%AF%D9%86%DB%8C-%DB%8C%DA%A9-%D8%B6%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%AA-%D9%85%D9%84%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AE%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA ]]][[File:Mojtaba Khamenei 2019.jpg|thumb|another Khamenei is coming.~[https://www.khabarfoori.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-59/3198781-%D8%AA%D8%A7%DB%8C%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%AA%D9%84%D9%88%DB%8C%D8%AD%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AA%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%A2%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%84%D9%87-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%AC%D8%AA%D8%A8%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%B9%D9%86%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D8%A8%D8%B9%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D9%88%D8%B3%D8%B7-%D8%B9%D8%B6%D9%88-%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1%DB%8C QomImam]]][[File:Flag of the Cooperation Council for the Arab States of the Gulf.svg|thumb|Trump is hysterical and struggling with last final breaths. Americans are at the end of their rope. Enemy is caught in desperate swamp...Netanyahu pumped up US to attack, we will exact vengeance...Trump you are a retarded person, ...we are funneling through pass of war,... Iranians have civilization, countries of region are acting like cuckold pimps... Trump says some people within of our military have defected give us 2 of these people names to us[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77421052/%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%BE-%D8%A2%D8%AF%D9%85-%D8%B9%D9%82%D8%A8-%D8%A7%D9%81%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%DA%AF%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF ~Larijani][https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77421726/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D9%86%D9%81%D8%B3-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D8%AE%D8%B1-%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%BE-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9-%D8%B4%D8%AF%D9%87-%D9%88 ][https://farsnews.ir/mohammadreza_dehghan/1772912586911483130/%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%A7-%DA%AF%D8%B1%D9%81%D8%AA%D9%86-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%B3%D8%B1-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D9%86%D9%85%DB%8C-%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%85 ]]][[File:State_flag_of_Iran_(1964%E2%80%931980).svg|thumb|Seventeen 17 cities of Caucasian Iran was separated from Iran by Tsar Russia. We are reborn from ashes of Mongol invasion and Timurid.[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77413081/%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%AF%DA%AF%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D9%88%D9%86-%D9%88-%D8%AE%D8%A7%DA%A9 ]]] == Quotes == <small>Please add quotes in chronological order</small> ===2025=== *I wished to destroy Israel from when I was six 6 years. **Gen Nilforoshan[https://farsnews.ir/yasnabavi66/1759045495157744094/%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1%20%D8%B4%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%AF%20%20%D9%86%DB%8C%D9%84%D9%81%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%B4%D8%A7%D9%86:%20%D8%A7%D8%B2%20%DB%B6%20%D8%B3%D8%A7%D9%84%DA%AF%DB%8C%20%D8%A2%D8%B1%D8%B2%D9%88%20%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B4%D8%AA%D9%85%20%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%A6%DB%8C%D9%84%20%D8%B1%D8%A7%20%D9%86%D8%A7%D8%A8%D9%88%D8%AF%20%DA%A9%D9%86%D9%85%20%D9%88%20%D8%A7%D9%86%E2%80%8C%D8%B4%D8%A7%D8%A1%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%84%D9%87%20%D8%AF%D8%B1%20%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86%20%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%87%20%D8%B4%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%AF%20%D8%B4%D9%88%D9%85 ] ===Feb 2026=== *Finally, to the great, proud people of Iran, I say tonight that the hour of your freedom is at hand… Stay sheltered. Don't leave your home. It's very dangerous outside. Bombs will be dropping everywhere . when we are finished, take over your government. It will be yours to take. This will be probably your only chance for **Trump [https://www.pbs.org/newshour/world/read-trumps-full-statement-on-iran-attack PRESIDENT TRUMP's message to the great people of Iran ..] *firm of heart against the disbelievers, compassionate among themselves. **Khamenei quoted Quran[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77473280/%D8%A3%D8%B4%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%A1-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D9%84%DA%A9%D9%81%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%B1%D8%AD%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%A1-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%D9%87%D9%85 ] *There's a special place in hell reserved for pro-Trump Iranians. **IRGC Mashre Dimitri Lascaris [https://www.shahrekhabar.com/news/177328434067132 ] *400,000 armed people are ready to go to revolt against the United States government system **Gen Araste[https://www.ettelaat.com/news/140255/%DB%B4%DB%B0%DB%B0-%D9%87%D8%B2%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D9%86%D9%81%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B3%D9%84%D8%AD-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%AF%D9%87-%D9%82%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C%D9%87-%D9%86%D8%B8%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86-%DA%A9%D8%B4%D9%88%D8%B1-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%86%D8%AF#ref=shahrekhabar ] *Russia and China will win the war not just Iran **IRGC Gen RahimSafavi[https://www.shahrekhabar.com/news/177326496039426 ] *We have arm around Americans neck we will be slapping it when it moves **IRGC Gen Mohsen rezai[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77471755/%D9%85%D8%AD%D8%B3%D9%86-%D8%B1%D8%B6%D8%A7%DB%8C%DB%8C-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%BE%D8%B4%D8%AA-%DA%AF%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%86-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AA%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%D8%AF-%D8%AA%DA%A9%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%AF-%DB%8C%DA%A9 ] *If anyone comes to street they are seen as enemies and not as protestors.All our kids are putting their finger on triggers all alleys , streets , city squares belong to Police, special units and The IRGC Basij. **FARAJA Cmdr Gen Ahmed Radan[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77462710/%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%DA%A9%D8%B3%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AF%D8%B4%D9%85%D9%86-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A7%D9%88-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D9%85%D8%B9%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%B6 ] * I can see that the peace deal is within our reach... if we... allow [[diplomacy]] the space it needs to get there... I don't think any alternative to diplomacy is going to solve this problem. ...The [[heart]] of this deal is very important and ...we have captured that heart. ...[I]f the ultimate objective is to ensure forever, that Iran cannot have a [[Nuclear weapons|nuclear bomb]] ...we have cracked that problem ...[W]e are talking about zero stockpiling ...[I]f you cannot stockpile material that is enriched ...there is no way you can ...create a bomb ...and ...equally important ...full and comprehensive verification by the [[w:International Atomic Energy Agency|IAEA]] ...The current stockpiles ...will be down-blended to the lowest level possible ...and converted into fuel that ...will be irreversible. ...I am ...confident ...that even the United States inspectors will have access at some point ...if we have a deal that is respected, and fair, and ...durable ...We have agreed, in general, to discuss economic and security cooperation between Iran and its neighbors, and set up a process of dialogue that will ...start the elements of building confidence, ...a rapport, a process that can ...lead ...to an understanding on all these ...areas of concern ...on the Iranian side, and ...on the [[w:Gulf Cooperation Council|GCC]] side. ...Broad terms, ...the politics, the ...main issues ...can be agreed [upon] tomorrow. The technicalities will take some time to work... out with... the IAEA. ...[T]hat can also be done ...relatively quickly, because a lot of this ...groundwork was done years ago, and it's ...in place. ...The substantial progress... is... far more than any time before. We just need that bit of extra time to close the deal. ** {{w|Badr bin Hamad Al Busaidi}}, "Oman's foreign minister says U.S.-Iran nuclear 'deal is within our reach'" (Feb 27, 2026) ''{{w|Face the Nation}}'' statements prior to the US-Israeli attacks. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pg5sXQDR8NY&t=38s A Youtube video source.] *Mahdi is with us and in charge of Umma, he has through Assembly of Experts introduced Ayatallah Mojtaba Khamenei **[https://kayhan.ir/fa/news/328896/%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%B2%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%B9%D8%AC-%D9%88%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%81%D9%82%DB%8C%D9%87-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%D8%B9%D8%B1%D9%81%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF-%D9%86%DA%A9%D8%AA%D9%87 Hossein Shariatmadare] *The revolution will not sit down until flag of Mahdi is raised on all corners of earth **[https://kayhan.ir/fa/news/328901/%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%86%D9%87%E2%80%8C%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D8%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%AC%D8%AA%D8%A8%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA Hossein Shariatmadare] *To save his soldiers Trump has gone to Volodymir Zelensky president-clown of Ukraine for aid **[https://kayhan.ir/fa/news/328922/%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%86%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%AA-%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B2%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%B4-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86-%DB%8C%DA%A9-%D8%AF%D9%84%D9%82%DA%A9-%D8%B4%D8%AF Hossein Shariatmadare] *War's balance changed and Islamic Republic of Iran has the upper hand, there won't be a negotiatons any country who helps America will be targeted as enemy **[https://tasnimnews.ir/fa/news/1404/12/19/3537514/%D9%85%D9%88%D9%81%D9%82%DB%8C%D8%AA-90-%D8%AF%D8%B1%D8%B5%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%AD%D9%85%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%AA-%D9%85%D9%88%D8%B4%DA%A9%DB%8C-%D9%88-%D9%BE%D9%87%D9%BE%D8%A7%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%B2%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D9%86%D9%81%D8%B9-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA ICA] *A vessel has passed through Hormuz strait , an United States (US) military navy escorted her. In Playstation **ICA[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77461463/%D9%88%D8%A7%DA%A9%D9%86%D8%B4-%D8%B1%D8%A6%DB%8C%D8%B3-%D9%85%D8%AC%D9%84%D8%B3-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%A7%D8%AF%D8%B9%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%AF%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%BA%DB%8C%D9%86-%D9%88%D8%B2%DB%8C%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%B1%DA%98%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%AF%D8%B1%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B1%D9%87-%D8%AA%D9%86%DA%AF%D9%87 ] *We have only just begun our missiles have left utter ruin and destruction ,Netanyahu won't let you see **Abbas Iraqchi[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77462291/%D8%B9%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%82%DA%86%DB%8C-%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%B2%D9%87-%D8%B4%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%B9-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%85 ] *Our enemy is the stupidest idiot. Our defense system is an ideology not just a defense system, while when we hit Haifa their people were begging for car gas **FARAJA Cmdr Gen Achmed Radan [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77460868/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AF%D8%B4%D9%85%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A7%D8%AD%D9%85%D9%82-%D8%AA%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%86-%D9%87%D8%A7-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%86%D8%AF ] *Your children shall read Quran while sitting by the missile launchers tonight. **Gen Mousavi [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77461610/%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D9%85%D9%88%D8%B3%D9%88%DB%8C-%D9%81%D8%B1%D8%B2%D9%86%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B4%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%B4%D8%A8-%D9%BE%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%86%DA%86%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A7-%D9%82%D8%B1%D8%A2%D9%86-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%B3%D8%B1-%D9%85%DB%8C-%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AF ] [[File:HIMARS Support Operation Epic Fury (9564974).jpg|thumb|Operation Epic Fury]] ===Mar 2026=== *All vessels shall not pass Hormuz Strait **IRGCN Gen Ali Tangsiri[https://www.mehrnews.com/news/6771339/%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%AA%D9%86%DA%AF%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%B1%DB%8C-%D9%87%DB%8C%DA%86-%D8%B4%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%88%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AA%D8%A8%D8%B7-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D9%85%D8%AA%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%88%D8%B2%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AD%D9%82-%D8%B9%D8%A8%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%AA%D9%86%DA%AF%D9%87-%D9%87%D8%B1%D9%85%D8%B2 ] *How much of a cuckold is American president, Australian police has taken our girls out of the hotel and forced and made them to apply for asylum **Mehdi Taj Chairman National Football Federation[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77458637/%D9%85%D9%87%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%AC-%D8%AF%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%88%D8%B2%DA%AF%DB%8C-%D8%B1%D8%A6%DB%8C%D8%B3-%D8%AC%D9%85%D9%87%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%AA%D8%A7-%DA%86%D9%87-%D8%AD%D8%AF-%D8%AF%D9%85-%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D8%AC%D9%84%D9%88%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%AC ] *We are prepared to wage war against America for next at least another 10 year **IRGC Gen Jabari[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77449662/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%B4%D8%A7%D9%88%D8%B1-%D9%81%D8%B1%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AF%D9%87-%DA%A9%D9%84-%D8%B3%D9%BE%D8%A7%D9%87-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%B9%D9%86%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A2%D8%AF%D9%85-%D9%85%D8%B7%D9%84%D8%B9-%D9%85%DB%8C-%DA%AF%D9%88%DB%8C%D9%85-%DA%A9%D9%87 ] *Iran is the conscious of the humanity, its real dignity and glory. It is chosen people fighting for the Victory of the Light. It it Ormuzd, Ishraq. Mahdi people. **Dugin Alexander[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77392273/%D8%AA%D9%88%DB%8C%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%84%DA%A9%D8%B3%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%AF%D9%88%DA%AF%DB%8C%D9%86-%D9%BE%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%A7%D8%AF%DA%AF%DB%8C-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86 ] *The recent war is between good and evil **ICA[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77432191/%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D8%A7%D8%AE%DB%8C%D8%B1-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D8%AD%D9%82-%D9%88-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B7%D9%84-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA ] *Like thunder we will strike Haifa **IRGC Gen Seid mousavi[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77449498/%D8%B3%D8%B1%D9%84%D8%B4%DA%A9%D8%B1-%D8%B9%D8%A8%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%84%D9%87%DB%8C-%D9%87%D9%85%DA%86%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%B5%D8%A7%D8%B9%D9%82%D9%87-%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D8%AD%DB%8C%D9%81%D8%A7-%D9%88-%D9%BE%D8%A7%DB%8C%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%87-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D9%85%D9%86%D8%B7%D9%82%D9%87 ] * Iran’s leaders before the attack had been clear that they were willing to negotiate on the nuclear question. Talks were ongoing... There had appeared to be a good basis for agreement, given... an Iranian government that... was not in a position to enrich uranium... for the foreseeable future. ...Americans ...were deeply unhappy with the results of America’s last big wars of {{w|regime change}} ...[[War in Afghanistan (2001–2021)|in Afghanistan]] [[Iraq War|and Iraq]]. At the beginning of this joint [[w:2026 Iran war|US–Israel campaign against Iran]], only about a third of Americans supported the adventure... ** Dana Allin, "US politics and the war against Iran" (Mar 2, 2026) [https://www.iiss.org/online-analysis/online-analysis/2026/02/the-us-israel-campaign-in-iran/ "The US-Israel campaign in Iran"] @[[w:International Institute for Strategic Studies|IISS]].org *This is a war that should end it once and for all. ::[https://www.mehrnews.com/news/6764020/%D9%86%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%B2%D8%A7%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AF%D9%86%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%84-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D9%85%D9%86%D8%B7%D9%82%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%AF ICA] (Mar 2 2026) *Our Brave and Powerful Armed Forces will avenge each and every Iranian mother, , father, and child who has been targeted by hostile forces. **foreign minister Abbas Iraqchi[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77405403/%D8%B9%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%82%DA%86%DB%8C-%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%B1%D9%88%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%85%D8%B3%D9%84%D8%AD-%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AA%DA%A9-%D8%AA%DA%A9-%D8%B4%D9%87%D8%AF%D8%A7-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%D9%86%D8%AF-%DA%AF%D8%B1%D9%81%D8%AA ] *There is no shelter you can be safe **[https://www.shahrekhabar.com/news/177298212045678 IRGC text] *We will fill Americans' coffins there is no end to war unless they fully surrender. **IRGC operations mission statement[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77389339 ] *Trump is more than 500 Americans killed dead America first or israel first. Inshallah Khamenei killing has heavy price **Larijani[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77384703/%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%BE-%D8%AD%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%A8-%DA%A9%D9%86%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D9%87%D9%85-%D8%A7%D9%88%D9%84-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%DB%8C%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D9%88%D9%84-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%A6%DB%8C%D9%84 ] * Irregardless of cost. Not unlike United States of America. Same as Iran has not in past 300 years started wars, Iran is ready for long war. ** [[w:Ali Larijani|Ali Larijani]], Secretary of the Supreme National Security Council of Iran. [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77359057 Source (in Persian)] *Now that we have baited America do not make ceasefire and/or peace we must destroy them ::Ayatallah Panahian[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77388174/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%AD%D8%AC%D8%AA-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B3%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%85-%D9%BE%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%A7%D8%B6%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D8%AA%D8%B4-%D8%A8%D8%B3-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%86%D8%AF-%D9%86%D9%BE%D8%B0%DB%8C%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AF ] *From us Iranian people only President son Aga Yusuf Pezeshkian and his buddies have internet connection. ::[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77388864/%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D9%85%D8%A7-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%85-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%81%D9%82%D8%B7-%D8%A2%D9%82%D8%A7-%DB%8C%D9%88%D8%B3%D9%81-%D9%88-%D8%B1%D9%81%DB%8C%D9%82%D8%A7%D8%B4-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86%D8%AA%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AA-%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AF Payamemam] * These attacks from Israel and the United States... were unprovoked. There was no immanent threat. Many would interpret this war to be an illegal war. ** Evaleila Pesaran, [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nJnVYpbKuM&t=600s "The war with Iran: An expert analysis"] (Mar 2, 2026) Youtube video from [[University of Cambridge|Cambridge University]] channel. * I see no indication that ...those institutions are weak or fraying or that you can destroy ...[them] from the air. ...[T]his administration is trying to justify the war the same way [[Jackson Pollock]] used to paint. You just throw a bucket of reasons up against the canvas and hope the result looks good. ...Iranian missiles ... [as] a threat to the United States... falls short of the truth by about 4,000 miles ...[I]f we're doing preventative wars now to prevent countries that might one day be a threat, is [[North Korea]]... [[China]]... [[Russia]] in line? I don't think so. ...I can't make head or tails out of the reason this administration has put forward for this war. ** [[w:Alan Eyre (diplomat)|Alan Eyre]], "Expert panel breaks down U.S. objectives in Iran war" (Mar 2, 2026) @''{{w|PBS News Hour}}''. * Once again, America is going to war for Israel. Once again, many will die for the Zionist state, including American service members. Once again, we will stumble blindly into a military fiasco. Once again, we will do the bidding of a foreign power whose interests are not our interests, but whose lobbyists have bought up our political class, including Donald Trump. Once again, we will violate the U.N. charter by attacking a country that does not pose an imminent threat. ** [[Chris Hedges]], [https://scheerpost.com/2026/03/01/going-to-war-again-for-israel/ Going to War, Again, for Israel]. ScheerPost. (March 1, 2026) * If the [[Precedents|precedent]] that is being set is, "Any country with super * [I]t is in many ways a final battle to decide what [[World War II]] was all about. Will [[international law]] crumble as a result of the unwillingness of enough countries to protect the rules of civilized [[law]] supporting the principles of [[Westphalian sovereignty|national sovereignty]], free from foreign interference and [[coercion]] from the 1648 {{w|Peace of Westphalia}} to the [[Charter of the United Nations|UN Charter]]? And with regard to wars that inevitably are to be waged, will they spare {{w|civilian}}s and non-belligerents... ** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://www.counterpunch.org/2026/03/02/the-us-israeli-attack-was-to-prevent-peace-not-advance-it/ "The US/Israeli Attack Was to Prevent Peace Not Advance It"] (Mar 2, 2026) @''{{w|Counterpunch}}'' * Iran negotiators had agreed... not to have an [[Nuclear weapons|atom bomb]]... to reduce their refined uranium, to shift the refined uranium outside of the country, and to submit to an unprecedented degree of oversight... But none of this was about an atom bomb... The... reason that America has attacked Iran... was to control Near Eastern oil... and [[David Petraeus|General Petraeus]], years ago, had outlined this whole plan... "...all of your profits and rents from the oil will be lent back to the United States, ...priced in dollars and invested in U.S. Treasury securities, U.S. bonds and U.S. stocks, so that the money, the vast dollar inflows from your oil exports, will all be part of the U.S. economy."<br />I sat in on meetings in the {{w|White House}} in 1974 when this was discussed... ** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://www.democracynow.org/2026/3/3/michael_hudson_economist_trump_iran_attack A War for Oil:] Economist Michael Hudson on U.S. Quest to Control the World’s Oil Trade (Mar 3, 2026) @{{w|Democracy Now!}} * [I]t is in many ways a final battle to decide what [[World War II]] was all about. Will [[international law]] crumble as a result of the unwillingness of enough countries to protect the rules of civilized [[law]] supporting the principles of [[Westphalian sovereignty|national sovereignty]], free from foreign interference and [[coercion]] from the 1648 {{w|Peace of Westphalia}} to the [[Charter of the United Nations|UN Charter]]? And with regard to wars that inevitably are to be waged, will they spare {{w|civilian}}s and non-belligerents... ** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://www.counterpunch.org/2026/03/02/the-us-israeli-attack-was-to-prevent-peace-not-advance-it/ "The US/Israeli Attack Was to Prevent Peace Not Advance It"] (Mar 2, 2026) @''{{w|Counterpunch}}'' *The American philosophy is, number one, you bomb civilians, you break all the rules of international law which are against that. You bomb civilians to demoralize them. And if you concentrate, as Trump did, along with Israel, a few weeks ago, you {{w|2026 Minab school attack|bomb the schools}}, you bomb the hospitals. That’s American policy in foreign countries. It’s most visible in the case of Israeli policy, in Gaza, and now the West Bank as well. And it is the same policy that the United States has followed in Iran. ** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://geopoliticaleconomy.com/2026/03/29/war-iran-change-economy-michael-hudson/ "The war on Iran is transforming the global economy: Economist Michael Hudson explains how"] (Mar 29, 2026) @Geopolitical Economy Report * Whenever a state chooses to go to [[war]]... you have to ask—where is the [[w:Intelligence assessment|intelligence]] on the threat? ...[T]he Trump administration ...in hurry mode ...chose to set [[diplomacy]] aside, despite the fact that the [mediating] [[w:Badr bin Hamad Al Busaidi#Diplomatic career|Omani foreign minister]] ...was convinced that remarkable progress had been made on the issue of [[Nuclear program of Iran|Iranian nuclear weapons]] ...[T]wo other arguments for the war: that the US faced an imminent threat from [[Iran]], and that Iran’s {{w|ballistic missile}} capability threatened the United States. Scratch this last claim—it’s simply not [[Truth|true]] ...Why would a much-weakened [[Islamic Republic of Iran|Islamic Republic]] pose an "imminent threat" ..? [[Marco Rubio]] has come forward with an absurd argument ...Does anyone truly believe that Israel would go it alone ...without US backing, that the operation was not jointly planned? ...This is all desperate [[storytelling]], not intelligence. ** {{w|Wesley Wark}}, "[https://thewalrus.ca/iran-foreign-policy-experts/ Eight Experts on What You’re Not Being Told about the War in Iran:] The questions that aren’t making it into the battlefield dispatches" (Mar 3, 2026) @''{{w|The Walrus}}'' * Ironically, the greatest beneficiaries of the United States’ grave [[wikt:violation#Noun|violation]]s of [[international law]] are the very actors whom, under normal circumstances, Washington would be seeking to restrain: [[Moscow]] will be emboldened to continue its barbaric [[w:Russo-Ukrainian war|assault on Ukraine]], while [[China]] will feel empowered to move on [[Taiwan]]. ** [[w:Stephanie Turco Williams|Stephanie T. Williams]], "Flying blind" (March 2, 2026) [https://www.brookings.edu/articles/after-the-strike-the-danger-of-war-in-iran/ "After the strike: The danger of war in Iran"] [[w:Brookings Institution|Brookings]]. * Iran negotiators had agreed... not to have an [[Nuclear weapons|atom bomb]]... to reduce their refined uranium, to shift the refined uranium outside of the country, and to submit to an unprecedented degree of oversight... But none of this was about an atom bomb... The... reason that America has attacked Iran... was to control Near Eastern oil... and [[David Petraeus|General Petraeus]], years ago, had outlined this whole plan... "...all of your profits and rents from the oil will be lent back to the United States, ...priced in dollars and invested in U.S. Treasury securities, U.S. bonds and U.S. stocks, so that the money, the vast dollar inflows from your oil exports, will all be part of the U.S. economy."<br />I sat in on meetings in the {{w|White House}} in 1974 when this was discussed... ** [[Michael Hudson (economist)|Michael Hudson]], [https://www.democracynow.org/2026/3/3/michael_hudson_economist_trump_iran_attack A War for Oil:] Economist Michael Hudson on U.S. Quest to Control the World’s Oil Trade (Mar 3, 2026) @{{w|Democracy Now!}} *It's going to be... tempting for countries to think that in a world where there are no rules.., no [[w:Law of war|rules of war]], where that [[w:Liberal international order|post-war liberal order]], imperfect as it was, is now completely being disregarded.., that makes the world more dangerous for all of us. ...[T]here was an [[order]] of some kind ...a view that a degree of [[w:Consensus decision-making|international consensus]] was necessary ...before ...[[w:Interventionism (politics)|intervening in foreign countries]]. There were rules of war... [A]ll of us need to be... very thoughtful about supporting the creation of a world where anything goes, and [[might makes right]]. ...[[United States|America]] is still the preeminent [[power]], the {{w|superpower}}, the global [[Hegemony|hegemon]]. ...I hope this is a moment for Americans to reflect on the facts that the rules-based international order, which did act as a constraint on American power, also provided America with some meaningful [[protection]]. ** [[Chrystia Freeland]], Chrystia Freeland on Iran, Ukraine, and Global Power Shifts | ''{{w|Amanpour and Company}}'' (Mar 3, 2026) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vlj_beVDuxg&t=196s 3:16.] * [I]f it's... possible that there are about to be acts of [[terrorism]] by [[Iran]] inside the United States, how can [[United States Congress|Congress]] continue to blockade funds for the [[w:United States Department of Homeland Security|Department of Homeland Security]] until it gets [[reform]]s... including an end to the [[lying]]..? You're going to see a real press by the [[Second presidency of Donald Trump|Trump administration]] to say, "Release the funds and let the Department... resume... operations.., including falsely calling people terrorists if they operate a camera near an immigration agent." You're going to see attacks on the [[freedom of the press]]. This administration... regards it as illegal, criminal, for reporters simply to ask questions of [[The Pentagon|Pentagon employees]]... Only the designated leaders... get to speak... and if they're... saying things that look like they might not be [[Truth|true]], you can't second guess or question them. We have had many instances... of false indications of [[w:Powers of the president of the United States#Emergency powers|emergency powers]]. The whole [[w:Tariffs in the second Trump administration|tariff nonsense]]... rested on [[Falsehood|false claims]] of the president... about economic emergency. ...[N]ow there's a real [[war]].., a real risk of terrorist activity... That's a much more plausible emergency.., and... what [[Courts|court]] will say, "We don't think you're telling the truth about this either"? ...So there will be new assertions of emergency power... [P]eople who have the president's ear have been urging him to use emergency powers against the [[w:2026 United States elections|elections of 2026]]. The possibility of that... are much higher today... than... a week ago. ...We're moving into extraordinary danger to democratic institutions. The [[w:2026 Iran war|war in Iran]]... is an urgent [[w:Domestic policy of the second Trump administration|domestic policy]] question... a massive grant of power to a president and administration that have proven... that they will [[Abuse of power|abuse any powers]] that they are en[[trust]]ed with. ** [[David Frum]], "[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8w7KOoD8sCs&t=190s No Exit from Trump's War:] with Tom Nichols" The David Frum Show. A Youtube video from ''{{w|The Atlantic}}'' channel. (Mar 4 2026) *"Senate votes down resolution to stop Trump from continuing war with Iran" (Mar 4, 2026) **<small>''{{w|The Independent}}''. [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/senate-iran-war-vote-trump-powers-resolution-b2932221.html Source.]</small> *Nobody gets to hide and give the president an easy pass or an end-run around the Constitution. Everybody's got to declare whether they're for this war or against it. ** Sen. [[Tim Kaine]] *War is ugly, it always has been ugly, but we're taking out a regime that has been trying to attack us for quite some time. ** Sen. [[Markwayne Mullin]] *I learned when I was fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan, that when elites in Washington bang the war drums, pound their chest, talk about the costs of war and act tough, they're not talking about them doing it, they're not talking about their kids. They're talking about working class kids like us. ** Rep. [[Jason Crow]] * Why are we going into Iran? ...[I]t is the president's [[wikt:vainglory#Noun|vainglory]]. He thinks he's on a roll, that... this is easy to do; that you can [[w:2026 United States intervention in Venezuela|knock off dictatorships like Venezuela]], and then have a parade; that this solves a lot of his problems. It gets people not talking about the [[Epstein files]]. ...[A] huge chunk of [[Donald Trump]]'s [[Foreign policy of the United States|foreign policy]] is rooted in trying to get people to stop talking about the Epstein files. ...[H]e is that [[wikt:narrow-minded#Adjective|narrow]] and [[wikt:crass#Adjective|crass]]. ...Now he's going to say he's a [[w:Powers of the president of the United States#Emergency powers|war president]]. That means you can't criticize me... I can stomp on the press... I can declare a [[w:Powers of the president of the United States#Emergency powers|national emergency]]. ...As the [[Parliament of the United Kingdom|British Parliament]] said... in [~]1944... "This is not a propitious time for an [[Elections|election]]." ...[[wikt:mischief#Noun|[M]ischief]] comes with a war because... presidential war powers... become almost unchallengeable. ** [[w:Tom Nichols (academic)|Tom Nichols]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8w7KOoD8sCs&t=797s Trump’s War With Iran and a New Danger at Home] | The [[David Frum]] Show (Mar 4, 2026) A Youtube video from ''{{w|The Atlantic}}'' channel. *[[Donald Trump|The president]] was not going to be just another president on a very long list who sat back and stood by and passed the buck of this direct threat to the next administration. The president had a feeling, again, based on fact, that Iran was going to strike the United States, was going to strike our assets in the region, and he made a determination to launch Operation Epic Fury based on all of those reasons. **[[Karoline Leavitt]] quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-iran-war-white-house-briefing-b2931933.html "Karoline Leavitt insists Trump had a ‘feeling based on fact’ before Iran strikes but still won’t detail imminent threat to US"]], ''The Independent'' (05 March 2026) *[T]o take on the extraordinary risks... without having made the case with the American people.., citing immanent threats that aparently don't exist... that's problematic, and the chances of unintended consequences... are... very serious... [W]e're... using.., in many cases very expensive weapons to take down $20,000 drones. That's not a good equation... over time. ...I'm worried about ...second and third order consequences ...we so deplete our arsenal, and it takes a long time to rebuild ...puts us in a disadvantageous position when it comes to ...a [[China]] or ...[[Russia]]. ...[M]uch as ...everyone should want to see a change... it may simply ...reinforce the [[Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps|IRGC]] ...[I]t's very hard to produce regime change from outside. You can't bomb your way to it. ...The [[wikt:red flag#Noun|red flag]] ...is that this could be [[Syrian civil war|Syria]] [[wikt:redux#Noun|redux]] or ...[[Libyan Crisis (2011–present)|Libya]] redux ...the country fracturing, imploding or even exploding with [[refugee]]s and [[w:International migration|migration]].., [[Extremism|extremist]] groups taking hold... It's incredibly ...[[dangerous]]. ...[I]t's never too late for [[diplomacy]]. ...<br />[W]hen [[Russia]] is ...reaching a weak point because of its dependence on oil to fuel its war economy ...they get a lifeline, ...the price of oil is going up. The [[Europe|Europeans]], in having moved away from Russian gas, are now more dependent on the [[Middle East]]. ...If the {{w|Strait of Hormuz}} gets tied up ...that's ...a lot of pressure ...So mapping out, gaming out, planning out and ...making sure you have something in place to deal with ...second and third order effects is ...important, and it's not ...clear ...that was done ...There's been a shifting rationale ...[or] explanation for why this, why now? ...That's why it's so important to have ...laid this out before the American people, and our partners and allies. We might have had less friction with them if there was a compelling case ...and had them on the take-off, not mid-flight or on the landing. ** [[Antony Blinken]], [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHgG-lkOi6w&t=74s "Former Secretary of State on the Two Keys to Ending Iran War"] (Mar 4, 2026) A Youtube video from the [[w:Bloomberg News|Bloomberg]] Podcasts channel. *Majority of Experts Assembly has come to pick next leader who is Seid. **Dirbaz[https://www.etemadonline.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-9/764537-%D9%85%D8%AC%D9%84%D8%B3-%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1%DB%8C ] (Mar 8 2026) * Unprovoked attacks by the [[United States|US]] and [[Israel]]... violate the fundamental prohibition on the use of [[force]], [[Sovereignty|sovereign]] [[equality]], {{w|territorial integrity}}, and the [[duty]] to [[Peace|peacefully]] settle disputes... They also violate the {{w|right to life}}... We cannot pick and choose when [[international law]] applies. Unlawful [[military]] [[w:Interventionism (politics)|intervention]] is not a solution... These attacks do not strike military abstractions – they strike people... {{w|Civilian}}s are bearing the brunt of this war... In a country that has already lost thousands to [[Violence|violent]] [[Political repression|repression]]... these attacks deepen... profound human [[tragedy]]... The targeting of civilians, educational facilities, and medical institutions constitutes a grave violation of [[international humanitarian law]] and [[w:International human rights law|human rights law]]... Any path forward must be grounded in the [[rule of law]], the will of the [[Iranians|Iranian people]], and full accountability for the [[wikt:violation#Noun|violation]] of international law, by all parties... ** {{w|Mai Sato}}, [[w:Cecilia Bailliet|Cecilia M. Bailliet]], {{w|Astrid Puentes Riaño}}, {{w|Alexandra Xanthaki}}, {{w|Farida Shaheed}}, Surya Deva, {{w|Margaret Satterthwaite}}, {{w|Gina Romero}}, Nicolas Levrat, [[w:Richard Bennett (UN)|Richard Bennett]], Tomoya Obokata, [[w:Mary Lawlor (human rights advocate)|Mary Lawlor]], {{w|Ben Saul}}, {{w|Alice Jill Edwards}}, [[Francesca Albanese]], Morris Tidball-Binz, {{w|Siobhán Mullally}}, Gabriella Citroni, Grażyna Baranowska, Aua Baldé, Ana Lorena Delgadillo Pérez, {{w|Bina D'Costa}}, {{w|Claudia Flores}}, Ivana Krstić, {{w|Dorothy Estrada-Tanck}}, Haina Lu, [[Reem Alsalem]], {{w|Paula Gaviria Betancur}}, Elizabeth Salmón, Mariana Katzarova (Special Procedures of the Human Rights Council, volunteer Special Rapporteurs/Independent Experts/Working Groups) [https://www.ohchr.org/en/press-releases/2026/03/iran-un-experts-call-de-escalation-and-accountability "Iran: UN experts call for de-escalation and accountability"] (Mar 4, 2026) [[w:Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights|OHCHR]]. * [[Mohammed bin Salman|The Crown Prince]] and other [[w:Arab states of the Persian Gulf|Gulf]] leaders have been urging America not to undertake military action against Iran, because all of us believe... action will not remain confined to Iran; that Iran will retaliate against American in the area, which is present in all of the Gulf states, and as far away as [[Turkey]]... They've been warning the Americans not to undertake military action and suffer the consequences. ...I don't think the system in Iran will collapse any time soon. ...Iranian leadership has been preparing for an eventuality like this, because of what they have continued to hear from [[Benjamin Netanyahu|Mr. Netanyahu]] in the past 40 years. He has been calling for the destruction of Iran, and so the Iranians... have been preparing themselves for such an eventuality. ...The only way the system will go... is through the Iranian people. ** {{w|Turki bin Faisal Al Saud}}, "Fmr. Saudi Intelligence Chief Discusses Gulf States' Reaction to Iran Attacks | ''{{w|Amanpour and Company}}''" [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfGcX4XuZ5A&t=62s 1:02,] 5:08. * Iran just stated that they are going to hit very hard today, harder than they have ever been hit before.., THEY BETTER NOT DO THAT, HOWEVER, BECAUSE IF THEY DO, WE WILL HIT THEM WITH A FORCE THAT HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE! ** [[Donald J. Trump]], post on Truth Social, "Trump warns Iran of unprecedented force if it retaliates" (Feb 28, 2026) {{w|Reuters}}. *I think the war is very complete, pretty much. [Iran has] no navy, no communications, they've got no air force. Their missiles are down to a scatter. Their drones are being blown up all over the place, including their manufacturing of drones. **[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-iran-cbs-news-the-war-is-very-complete-strait-hormuz/ "Trump says 'the war is very complete,' and he's considering taking over Strait of Hormuz"], ''CBS News'' (Mar 9 2026) *US officials are posting fake news to manipulate narkets. It won't protect them from inflationary tsunami they've imposed on Americans Markets are facing biggest shortfall in HISTORY bigger than Arab Oil Embargo, Kuwait **[https://www.etemadonline.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%85%D9%84%D9%84-17/764878-%D8%B9%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%82%DA%86%DB%8C-%D9%88%D8%B2%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%AC%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7 Mr Iraqchi] (Mar 10 2026) *If Iran does anything that stops the flow of Oil within the Strait of Hormuz, they will be hit by the United States of America TWENTY TIMES HARDER than they have been hit thus far. Additionally, we will take out easily destroyable targets that will make it virtually impossible for Iran to ever be built back, as a Nation, again - Death, Fire, and Fury will reign upon them - But I hope, and pray, that it does not happen! This is a gift from the United States of America to China, and all of those Nations that heavily use the Hormuz Strait. Hopefully, it is a gesture that will be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your attention to this matter! President DONALD J. TRUMP **[https://x.com/WhiteHouse/status/2031167037620236703 Trump on TruthSocial] (10 March 2026) *Most definitely we are not seeking ceasefire we will break zionist life cycle of war-negotiations-ceasefire and then war again forever **Moahamedbagher Ghabilaf[https://www.etemadonline.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-9/764797-%D8%A2%D8%AA%D8%B4-%D8%A8%D8%B3-%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86- %D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%A6%DB%8C%D9%84 ] (Mar 10 2026) *Take Bahrain back! Annex it **MP Aytallah Resaei Hamid[https://www.khabarfoori.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-59/3200147-%DB%8C%DA%A9-%D9%86%D9%85%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86%D8%AF%D9%87-%D9%85%D8%AC%D9%84%D8%B3-%D8%A8%D8%AD%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D9%BE%D8%B3-%D8%A8%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%85 ], 12 March 2026 *I have seen his body after martyred, I heard he clenched his fist.You people have led the country. The will of the masses is to continue the effective and regrettable defense. Certainly, the leverage of blocking the Strait of Hormuz should still be used. Neighboring countries must make their position clear to the aggressors against our country... In any case, we will demand compensation from the enemy; if they refuse, we will seize as much of their property as we determine; if that is not possible, we will destroy as much of their property as we can. **Mojtaba Khamenei (12 March 2026)[https://www.irna.ir/news/86100475/%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B9%D8%B8%D9%85-%D8%A7%D9%86%D9%82%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%AA%D8%A7%DA%A9%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D9%86%D9%82%D8%B4-%D9%88-%D8%AD%D8%B6%D9%88%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%85-%D8%AD%D8%B6%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%B5%D8%AD%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF ][https://www.khabarfoori.com/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-59/3200277-%D8%B4%D9%85%D8%A7-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%85-%DA%A9%D8%B4%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%B1%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AE%D9%88%D9%86-%D8%B4%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B4%D9%85%D8%A7-%D8%B5%D8%B1%D9%81-%D9%86%D8%B8%D8%B1-%D9%86%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%85-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AF-%D9%87%D9%85%DA%86%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AA%D9%86%DA%AF%D9%87-%D9%87%D8%B1%D9%85%D8%B2-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%87-%D8%A8%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%B9%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AF%D9%88%D8%B3%D8%AA%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D9%87%D9%85%D8%B3%D8%A7%DB%8C%DA%AF%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%DB%8C%D9%85 ] *Aggression against soil of Iranian islands will shatter all restraint. We will abandon all restraint and make the Persian Gulf run with the blood of invaders. **[https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77477478/%D9%82%D8%A7%D9%84%DB%8C%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%81-%D9%87%D8%B1%DA%AF%D9%88%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%AA%D8%B9%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AE%D8%A7%DA%A9-%D8%AC%D8%B2%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D9%88%DB%8C%D8%B4%D9%86%D8%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%AA%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D9%85%DB%8C], ''Qalibaf'' (12 March 2026) *The [[United States]] is the largest Oil Producer in the World, by far, so when oil prices go up, we make a lot of money. BUT, of far greater interest and importance to me, as President, is stoping an evil Empire, Iran, from having Nuclear Weapons, and destroying the [[Middle East]] and, indeed, the World. I won’t ever let that happen! **[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/iran-us-war-live-updates-supreme-leader-trump-oil-b2937272.html "Iran-US war latest: Supreme leader statement threatens fresh attacks after UK base in Iraq hit by drone swarm"], ''The Independent'' (12 March 2026) *As long as America and Zionist exist humankind will not see quiet. To establish peace they must be destroyed **Aytallah Khatami Imam Tehran [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77485962/%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%AA%D9%85%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%82%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%B5%D9%84%D8%AD-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%B1%DA%98%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%B5%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%88%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%AF ][https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77487036/%D8%AA%D8%A7-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7-%D9%88-%D8%B1%DA%98%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%B5%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%88%D9%86%DB%8C-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%86%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%B4%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D8%B1%D9%88%DB%8C-%D8%A2%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%B4-%D9%86%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%D8%AF-%D8%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF] (13 March 2026) *Just run! **IRGC hebrew text [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77499999/%D8%AE%D8%B7%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%B3%D8%A7%DA%A9%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%B3%D8%B1%D8%B2%D9%85%DB%8C%D9%86-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B4%D8%BA%D8%A7%D9%84%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D9%84%D8%A7-%D9%81%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%B1-%DA%A9%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF ] (14 March 2026) *If Americans do heliborne operation on taking over Khark Island we will attack their bases and take prisoners **FM Manouchehr Motaki Iran negotiators [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77500152/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%D8%AA%DA%A9%DB%8C-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7%DB%8C%DB%8C-%D9%87%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%D9%86%D8%AF-%D8%AC%D8%B2%DB%8C%D8%B1%D9%87-%D8%AE%D8%A7%D8%B1%DA%A9-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B4%D8%BA%D8%A7%D9%84-%DA%A9%D9%86%D9%86%D8%AF ] (14 March 2026) *If the [[2026 FIFA World Cup|World Cup]] games are in [[Mexico]] maybe we will go **Minister of youth & sport [https://sahebkhabar.ir/news/77499588/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%88%D8%B2%DB%8C%D8%B1-%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%B2%D8%B4-%D9%81%DB%8C%D9%81%D8%A7-%D8%A8%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%85%DB%8C%D8%B2%D8%A8%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%87%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A2%D9%85%D8%B1%DB%8C%DA%A9%D8%A7], (14 March 2026) *Countries in region are supposed to pay reparations for killing Khamenei. **VP Mohammed Mokhber [https://www.mehrnews.com/news/6774791/%D9%85%D8%AE%D8%A8%D8%B1-%DA%A9%D8%B4%D9%88%D8%B1%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%85%D9%86%D8%B7%D9%82%D9%87-%D9%85%DA%A9%D9%84%D9%81-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AC%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AE%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%AA-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%87-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%87%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%86%D8%AF] (14 March 2026) *When I feel it. When I feel it in my bones. **[[President Trump]] quoted when asked when the war will end: [https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/trump-says-iran-war-will-end-when-i-feel-it-in-my-bones_uk_69b57775e4b09d87d0277fa2 "Trump Says Iran War Will End 'When I Feel It In My Bones'"], ''Huffington Post'' (14 March 2026) *It's a little unfair. You win a war, but they have no right to be doing what they're doing. **[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c70k29914q4o "Surge in US petrol prices deepens political peril for Trump over Iran"], ''BBC News'' (17 March 2026) *Because of the fact that we have had such Military Success, we no longer “need,” or desire, the NATO Countries’ assistance — WE NEVER DID! Likewise, Japan, Australia, or South Korea. In fact, speaking as President of the United States of America, by far the Most Powerful Country Anywhere in the World, WE DO NOT NEED THE HELP OF ANYONE! **[https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116245182325726375 Donald Trump on Truth Social] (17 Mar 2026) *[[Israel]], out of anger for what has taken place in the Middle East, has violently lashed out at a major facility known as South Pars Gas Field in Iran. A relatively small section of the whole has been hit. The United States knew nothing about this particular attack, and the country of [[Qatar]] was in no way, shape, or form, involved with it, nor did it have any idea that it was going to happen. Unfortunately, Iran did not know this, or any of the pertinent facts pertaining to the South Pars attack, and unjustifiably and unfairly attacked a portion of Qatar’s LNG Gas facility. NO MORE ATTACKS WILL BE MADE BY ISRAEL pertaining to this extremely important and valuable South Pars Field unless Iran unwisely decides to attack a very innocent, in this case, Qatar - In which instance the United States of America, with or without the help or consent of Israel, will massively blow up the entirety of the South Pars Gas Field at an amount of strength and power that Iran has never seen or witnessed before. I do not want to authorize this level of violence and destruction because of the long term implications that it will have on the future of Iran, but if Qatar’s LNG is again attacked, I will not hesitate to do so. **[[Donald Trump]] on [https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116253388303392718 Truth Social] (Mar 19, 2026) * Iranian missiles do not differentiate between Muslim and Christian and Jew and whichever religion, they're out there to kill anybody because they feel everybody who doesn't accept their belief is an infidel. **Israeli President [[Isaac Herzog]] following the 2026 Beit Awwa salon strike in the West Bank. (Mar 19, 2026)[https://www.jpost.com/middle-east/iran-news/article-890479] *We are getting very close to meeting our objectives as we consider winding down our great Military efforts in the Middle East with respect to the Terrorist Regime of [[Iran]]: (1) Completely degrading Iranian Missile Capability, Launchers, and everything else pertaining to them. (2) Destroying Iran’s Defense Industrial Base. (3) Eliminating their Navy and Air Force, including Anti Aircraft Weaponry. (4) Never allowing Iran to get even close to Nuclear Capability, and always being in a position where the U.S.A. can quickly and powerfully react to such a situation, should it take place. (5) Protecting, at the highest level, our Middle Eastern Allies, including [[Israel]], [[Saudi Arabia]], [[Qatar]], the [[United Arab Emirates]], [[w:Bahrain|Bahrain]], [[Kuwait]], and others. The [[w:Hormuz Strait|Hormuz Strait]] will have to be guarded and policed, as necessary, by other Nations who use it — The United States does not! **[[Donald Trump]] on [https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116263563453969628 Truth Social] (Mar 20, 2026) [[File:Strait of Hormuz.jpg|thumb|Strait of Hormuz]] *If Iran doesn’t FULLY OPEN, WITHOUT THREAT, the [[w:Strait of Hormuz|Strait of Hormuz]], within 48 HOURS from this exact point in time, the United States of America will hit and obliterate their various POWER PLANTS, STARTING WITH THE BIGGEST ONE FIRST! **[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/clyxv87zwwpo "Trump at a crossroads as US weighs tough options in Iran"], ''BBC News'' (21 March 2026) *In difficult times like these, when events seem both confused and confusing, [[Mark Twain]]’s “broken fragments of antique legends” can remind us of historical analogies like the collapse of the power and influence of [[Great Britain]] or of the [[Soviet Union]] that can help us understand how the past often whispers to the present — as it indeed seems to be doing these days in the [[Strait of Hormuz]]. ** [[Alfred W. McCoy]], [https://inkstickmedia.com/how-the-iran-war-gave-trump-his-very-own-suez-crisis/ "How the Iran War Gave Trump His Very Own Suez Crisis"] (21 March 2026) *No countries that are [[North Atlantic Treaty Organization|NATO]] allies that have been bullied by Trump are going to be willing… to go on this suicide mission for someone who is an asshole to them. **Adam Mockler from [[w:MeidasTouch|MeidasTouch]] quoted telling [[CNN]] in [https://inews.co.uk/news/world/trump-iran-gamble-failed-americas-allies-pay-it-4309972 "Trump’s Iran gamble has failed – and America’s allies will pay for it"], ''iNews'' (March 22, 2026) *Maybe me. Me and the ayatollah, whoever the ayatollah is, whoever the next ayatollah is. There’s automatically a regime change, but we’re dealing with some people that I find to be very reasonable, very solid. The people within know who they are. They’re very respected, and maybe one of them will be exactly what we’re looking for. **[[Donald Trump]] quoted on who would control the [[w:Strait of Hormuz|Strait of Hormuz]] in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/trump-ayatollah-joint-leadership-hormuz-b2944024.html "Trump proposes extraordinary ‘joint leadership’ of Iran alongside ayatollah"], ''Independent'' (23 March 2026) *No negotiations have been held with the US, and fake news is used to manipulate the financial and oil markets and escape the quagmire in which the US and Israel are trapped. **[[w:Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf|Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf]] quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/trump-ayatollah-joint-leadership-hormuz-b2944024.html "Trump proposes extraordinary ‘joint leadership’ of Iran alongside ayatollah"], ''Independent'' (23 March 2026) *Because they’re going to make a deal. They did something yesterday that was amazing, actually. They gave us a present. And the present arrived today. And it was a very big present worth a tremendous amount of money. And I’m not going to tell you what that present is, but it was a very significant prize.… That meant one thing to me—we’re dealing with the right people. **[[Donald Trump]] quoted on negotiations with [[Iran]] in [https://www.newsbreak.com/the-new-republic-1991457/4556482986909-trump-says-he-changed-his-mind-after-iran-gave-very-big-present "Trump Says He Changed His Mind After Iran Gave 'Very Big Present'"], ''Newsbreak'' (24 March 2026) *Has the level of your inner ⁠struggle reached the stage ⁠of you negotiating with yourself? **Iranian Ebrahim Zolfaqari's rhetorical question to Donald Trump quoted in [https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2026/3/25/us-talking-to-itself-says-iran-as-trump-claims-wheels-of-diplomacy-turning "US talking to itself, says Iran as Trump claims wheels of diplomacy turning"], ''Al Jazeera'' (25 March 2026) * The enemy signals negotiation in public, while in secret it plots a ground attack. Our firing continues. Our missiles are in place. Our determination and faith have increased. [Iranian forces] are waiting for the arrival of American troops on the ground to set them on fire and punish their regional partners for ever. ** Iranian parliament speaker, [[w:Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf|Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf]], quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/mar/29/iran-accuses-us-plotting-ground-assault-publicly-seeking-talks "Iran accuses US of plotting ground assault while publicly seeking talks"], ''Guardian'' (29 March 2026) *This is our God: Jesus, king of peace, who rejects war, whom no one can use to justify war. He does not listen to the prayers of those who wage war, but rejects them. * ([[Isaiah]] 1:15) ‘Even though you make many prayers, I will not listen: your hands are full of blood.’ **[[Pope Leo XIV]] quoting ''Book of Isaiah'', reported in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cje4x38q8xqt?post=asset%3A58d1f907-b13b-443a-b413-d7741b63b566 "'Hands full of blood': Pope Leo seemingly criticises those involved in war"], ''BBC News'' (29 March 2026) ===Apr 2026=== [[File:Gas prices Sonoma, California April 7 2026.jpg|thumb|Trump: We will consider when Hormuz Strait is open, free, and clear. Until then, we are blasting Iran into oblivion or, as they say, back to the Stone Ages.]] *We're finishing the job, and I think within maybe two weeks, maybe a couple of days longer, to do the job. But we want to knock out every single thing they have. Now, it's possible that we'll make a deal before that. **[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://newsroom.ap.org/editorial-photos-videos/detail?itemid=ad13f6002bde4e30befd5495f58499d9 "Trump: US could leave Iran in 2 to 3 weeks, securing Strait of Hormuz is 'not for us'"], ''AP News'' (Apr 1, 2026) *We will consider [a ceasefire] when [[w:Hormuz Strait|Hormuz Strait]] is open, free, and clear. Until then, we are blasting [[Iran]] into oblivion or, as they say, back to the Stone Ages. **[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-iran-speech-stone-age-b2950116.html "Trump threatens both Iran and NATO allies ahead of primetime address on war: ‘Back to the Stone Ages’"], ''Independent'' (Apr 1, 2026) *If hostility escalates, the entire region will turn into hell for you; the illusion of defeating the Islamic Republic of Iran will become a quagmire into which you will sink. **[[w:Ebrahim Zolfaghari|Ebrahim Zolfaghari]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c5y90jl8veyo US and "Iran trade threats to unleash 'hell' as search for missing US airman continues"], ''BBC News'' (4 April 2026) *In the attempt to try to prevent Iran from developing a weapon of mass destruction, the US handed Iran a weapon of mass disruption. **Ali Vaez, quoted in [https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/us-intelligence-warns-iran-unlikely-ease-hormuz-strait-chokehold-soon-sources-2026-04-03/ Reuters] *Tuesday will be Power Plant Day, and Bridge Day, all wrapped up in one, in Iran. There will be nothing like it!!! Open the Fuckin' Strait, you crazy bastards, or you'll be living in Hell - JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah. President DONALD J. TRUMP **[https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvg0q6wdzp1o Trump issues expletive-laden threat to Iran over Hormuz Strait blockage], ''BBC News'' (5 April 2026) * Subject to the Islamic Republic of Iran agreeing to the COMPLETE, IMMEDIATE, and SAFE OPENING of the Strait of Hormuz, I agree to suspend the bombing and attack of Iran for a period of two weeks ** [[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/apr/07/trump-iran-war-ceasefire US and Iran agree to provisional ceasefire as Tehran says it will reopen strait of Hormuz], ''The Guardian'' (8 April 2026 ) * If attacks against Iran are halted, our Powerful Armed Forces will cease their defensive operations. For a period of two weeks, safe passage through the Strait of Hormuz will be possible via coordination with Iran's Armed Forces and with due consideration of technical limitations. ** Iran’s foreign minister, [[w:Abbas Araghchi|Abbas Araghchi]] quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/apr/07/trump-iran-war-ceasefire "US and Iran agree to provisional ceasefire as Tehran says it will reopen strait of Hormuz"], ''The Guardian'' (8 April 2026 ) * The Iranians don’t seem to realize they have no cards, other than a short term extortion of the World by using International Waterways. The only reason they are alive today is to negotiate! ** [[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.theguardian.com/world/2026/apr/10/jd-vance-warns-iran-against-trying-to-play-the-us-in-peace-talks "JD Vance warns Iran against trying to ‘play’ the US in peace talks"], ''The Guardian'' (10 April 2026 ) *The simple question is, do we see a fundamental commitment of will for the Iranians not to develop a nuclear weapon, not just now, not just two years from now, but for the long term. We haven’t seen that yet. **[[JD Vance]] quoted in [https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/iran-us-peace-talks-vance-trump-b2956013.html "Why the US-Iran peace talks failed after just one day – and what happens next"], ''The Independent'' (12 April 2026) * We’re going to clean out the strait. **[[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/5827840-trump-navy-strait-hormuz-blockade/ "US military will ‘clean out’ Strait of Hormuz: Trump"], ''The Hill'' (12 April 2026) * We’re very disappointed with [[NATO]], we’re very, very disappointed that they didn’t come. Now, they want to come and they want to help with the strait. **Trump quoted in [https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/5827840-trump-navy-strait-hormuz-blockade/ "US military will ‘clean out’ Strait of Hormuz: Trump"], ''The Hill'' (12 April 2026) [[File:Straße von Hormuz.jpg|thumb|Trump - Iran has agreed to never close the Strait of Hormuz again]] * In line with the ceasefire in Lebanon, the passage for all commercial vessels through [the] [[w:Strait of Hormuz|Strait of Hormuz]] is declared completely open for the remaining period of ceasefire, on the coordinated route as already announced by Ports and Maritime Organisation of the Islamic Rep. of Iran. ** Iran Foreign Minister [[w:Abbas Araghchi|Abbas Araghchi]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cqxdg17yr2wt Iran says Strait of Hormuz is 'open' as Trump says US blockade will continue until deal reached], ''BBC News'' (Apr 17, 2026) * [[Iran]] has agreed to never close the Strait of Hormuz again. It will no longer be used as a weapon against the World! ** [https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116420562510387829 Donald Trump on Truth Social] (Apr 17, 2026) * Based on the fact that the Government of [[Iran]] is seriously fractured, not unexpectedly so and, upon the request of Field Marshal Asim Munir, and Prime Minister [[w:Shehbaz Sharif|Shehbaz Sharif]], of [[Pakistan]], we have been asked to hold our Attack on the Country of Iran until such time as their leaders and representatives can come up with a unified proposal. I have therefore directed our Military to continue the Blockade and, in all other respects, remain ready and able, and will therefore extend the Ceasefire until such time as their proposal is submitted, and discussions are concluded, one way or the other. ** [[Donald Trump]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cx297218m9vt "Iran says reopening Strait of Hormuz 'impossible' if US blockade continues"], ''BBC News'' (Apr 22, 2026) * We are all 'Iranian' and 'revolutionary,' and with the iron unity of the nation and government, with complete obedience to the Supreme Leader. We will make the aggressor criminal regret his actions. ** Iran's President {{w|Masoud Pezeshkian}} quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c0mjev4kn9jt?page=2 "Trump says Israel-Lebanon ceasefire extended by three weeks, but he won't 'rush' Iran deal"], ''BBC News'' (Apr 24, 2026) ===May 2026=== *Iran has taken some shots at unrelated Nations with respect to the Ship Movement, PROJECT FREEDOM, including a South Korean Cargo Ship. Perhaps it’s time for South Korea to come and join the mission!{{Pbri}}We’ve shot down seven small Boats or, as they like to call them, “fast” Boats. It’s all they have left. Other than the South Korean Ship, there has been, at this moment, no damage going through the Strait. Secretary of War Pete Hegseth and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Dan Caine, will have a News Conference tomorrow morning. ** [https://truthsocial.com/@realdonaldtrump Trump Truth Social Truth], 4 May 2026 *Countries from all over the World. almost all of which are not involved in the Middle Eastern dispute going on so visibly, and violently, for all to see, have asked the United States if we could help free up their Ships. which are locked up in the Strait of Hormuz, on something which they have absolutely nothing to do with - They are merely neutral and innocent bystanders! For the good of Iran, the Middle East, and the United States, we have told these Countries that we will guide their Ships safely out of these restricted Waterways, so that they can freely and ably get on with their business. Again, these are Ships from areas of the World that are not in any way involved with that which is currently taking place in the Middle East. I have told my Representatives to inform them that we will use best efforts to get their Ships and Crews safely out of the Strait. In all cases, they said they will not be returning until the area becomes safe for navigation, and everything else. This process, '''Project Freedom''', will begin Monday morning, Middle East time. I am fully aware that my Representatives are having very positive discussions with the Country of Iran, and that these discussions could lead to something very positive for all. The Ship movement is merely meant to free up people, companies, and Countries that have done absolutely nothing wrong - They are victims of circumstance. This is a Humanitarian gesture on behalf of the United States, Middle Eastern Countries but, in particular, the Country of Iran. Many of these Ships are running low on food, and everything else necessary for large scale crews to stay on board in a healthy and sanitary manner. I think it would go a long way in showing Goodwill on behalf of all of those who have been fighting so strenuously over the last number of months. If, in any way, this Humanitarian process is interfered with, that interference will, unfortunately, have to be dealt with forcefully. Thank you for your attention to this matter! **[https://truthsocial.com/@realdonaldtrump Trump Truth Social Truth] *Quranic verdict of Zarif and Rouhani is execution definitely indeed **Qasemian[https://www.khabaronline.ir/news/2213690/%D8%A8%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%82%D8%A7%D8%B3%D9%85%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AD%DA%A9%D9%85-%D9%82%D8%B1%D8%A2%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%B1%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%A7-%D8%B8%D8%B1%DB%8C%D9%81-%D9%88-%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%AD%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D9%82%D8%B7%D8%B9%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B9%D8%AF%D8%A7%D9%85 ]19:05, (3 May 2026) * Do you take out your wife, sister and wife so that unmarried men can look? There is a law, the parliament has approved it. I advise these women who come out without hijab: gather yourself. If these people decide, they will destroy your life. Netanyahu kills people, you beat people's opinion. They come again and appear in the square and street. Will you bring your sister and this woman so that the eyes of non-mahram men will fall on her situation? **[https://www.khabaronline.ir/news/2213662/%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%87-%D8%B1%D8%B4%D8%AA-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%D9%85%D8%B1%D8%AF%D9%85-%D8%AA%D8%B5%D9%85%DB%8C%D9%85-%D8%A8%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AF-%D8%AF%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%B1%D9%88%D8%B2%DA%AF%D8%A7%D8%B1-%D8%A8%DB%8C-%D8%AD%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D9%87%D8%A7 Imam Juma Rasht] (3 May 2026) * Operation Epic Fury is concluded. We achieved the objectives of that operation. ** [[Marco Rubio]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c1wz2ld4535t US "Secretary of State Marco Rubio says offensive stage of Iran war is 'over'"], ''BBC News'' (4 May 2026) * Based on the request of [[Pakistan]] and other Countries, the tremendous Military Success that we have had during the Campaign against the Country of Iran and, additionally, the fact that Great Progress has been made toward a Complete and Final Agreement with Representatives of Iran, we have mutually agreed that, while the Blockade will remain in full force and effect, Project Freedom (The Movement of Ships through the Strait of Hormuz) will be paused for a short period of time to see whether or not the Agreement can be finalized and signed. ** Trump quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c152zyj0599t "Trump says US will pause operation to guide ships through Strait of Hormuz"], ''BBC News'' (6 May 2026) * We have such a great military and great navy. And they were going straight through, and they said, “Turn your ship around!”. And there was no response. “Turn your ship around! Evacuate your engine room immediately!” And you see all these guys running out of there. Now, they’re five miles away — in one shot, into the engine room, blew up the engine room; the ship stopped, and they used tugboats. And then we landed on top of it — on top of everything else — we then land on top of it. And '''we took over the ship; we took over the cargo, took over the oil. It’s a very profitable business'''. Who would have thought we were doing that? '''We’re like pirates. We’re sort of like pirates'''. But we’re not playing games. ** Trump quoted in [https://geopoliticaleconomy.com/2026/05/09/trump-pirates-iran-ships-china-us-sanctions/ Trump boasts ‘we’re like pirates’, seizing Iran’s ships, as China challenges US sanctions]. Geopolitical Economy Report. (9 May 2026) * We will never bow our heads before the enemy, and if talk of dialogue or negotiation arises, it does not mean surrender or retreat. ** Iranian President [[w:Masoud Pezeshkian|Masoud Pezeshkian]] quoted in [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/clypgz9e5pmo "Trump calls Iran response to US proposal to end war 'totally unacceptable"], ''BBC News'' (10 May 2026) * 1.They martyred the great and devoted leader of the Islamic Revolution 2.No Muslim country came to Iran aid What sort of Islam is this .. what kind of Muslimhoodness is this 3.- Iran continues to resist the big and small Satan (America and Israel 4.On one side of today's battle are America and Israel, and on the other side are Muslim Iran and the resistance forces. Which side are you 5.- Think about the future of the Islamic world. You know that America is not loyal to you and Israel is your enemy. Think for a minute about yourself and the future of the region. 6.unity of the Islamic Ummah with all its power can provide and guarantee the security, excellence and independence of countries for everyone **letter to 6 countries Larijani[https://fa.alalam.ir/news/7428293/%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%87-%DB%B6-%D8%A8%D9%86%D8%AF%DB%8C-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C-%D9%84%D8%A7%D8%B1%DB%8C%D8%AC%D8%A7%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D8%B7%D8%A7%D8%A8-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D9%85%D8%B3%D9%84%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AC%D9%87%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%88-%D8%AF%D9%88%D9%84%D8%AA-%D9%87%D8%A7%DB%8C-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%85%DB%8C ] *If you want internet Pack and get up leave your things go to Afghanistan live there where is internet **IRIB anchor man [https://fararu.com/fa/news/970808/%D8%B4%D9%87%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B2%DB%8C-%D8%A7%DA%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86%D8%AA%D8%B1%D9%86%D8%AA-5g-%D8%A7%D9%81%D8%BA%D8%A7%D9%86%D8%B3%D8%AA%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%85%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%A7%D9%87%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D9%88%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D9%87%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%AC%D8%A7-%D8%B2%D9%86%D8%AF%DA%AF%DB%8C-%DA%A9%D9%86%DB%8C%D8%AF ]p *Like a rogue gang, the Iranian regime is pillaging resources that rightfully belong to the Iraqi people. Treasury will not stand idly by as Iran's military exploits Iraqi oil to fund terrorism against the United States and our partners. **[https://twitter.com/SecScottBessent/status/2052447601304178863?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw Bessent] *Gods order to fight Fitne. Israel is to be wiped off out.Division cause failure against enemies **Imam Karaj[https://www.imna.ir/news/971477/%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%87-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AC-%D8%A7%D8%AE%D8%AA%D9%84%D8%A7%D9%81-%D8%A7%D9%81%DA%A9%D9%86%DB%8C-%D8%B2%D9%85%DB%8C%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%B4%DA%A9%D8%B3%D8%AA-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A8%D8%B1%D8%A7%D8%A8%D8%B1-%D8%AF%D8%B4%D9%85%D9%86%D8%A7%D9%86-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA ][https://www.didbaniran.ir/%D8%A8%D8%AE%D8%B4-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D8%B3%DB%8C-3/284228-%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%87-%DA%A9%D8%B1%D8%AC-%D8%AF%D8%B3%D8%AA%D9%88%D8%B1-%D8%AE%D8%AF%D8%A7-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%A7%D8%B3%D8%AA-%DA%A9%D9%87-%D8%AA%D8%A7-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%B1%D9%81%D8%AA%D9%86-%D9%81%D8%AA%D9%86%D9%87-%D8%A8%D8%AC%D9%86%DA%AF%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%A8%D9%87-%D8%AF%D8%B4%D9%85%D9%86-%D8%A7%D8%AC%D8%A7%D8%B2%D9%87-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B2%D8%B3%D8%A7%D8%B2%DB%8C-%D8%AE%D9%88%D8%AF%D8%B4-%D8%B1%D8%A7-%D9%86%D8%AF%D9%87%DB%8C%D9%85 ] *Report of high Damage of internet blackout from government is greatly exaggerated . **[https://www.zoomit.ir/iran-news/459800-denies-exaggerated-internet-outage-claims/] MP of Tehran 18:28, 15 May 2026 (UTC)~ *Trump is hopeless and desperate he went to begging China for no result. He will not be satisfied until Iran is destoryed. **[https://www.khabaronline.ir/news/2219513/%D8%A7%D9%85%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%AC%D9%85%D8%B9%D9%87-%D8%A7%D8%B1%D8%AF%D8%A8%DB%8C%D9%84-%D8%AA%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85%D9%BE-%D8%A7%D8%B2-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AA%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%B3-%D8%A8%D9%87-%DA%86%DB%8C%D9%86-%D8%B9%D9%84%DB%8C%D9%87-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%D9%86%D8%AA%DB%8C%D8%AC%D9%87-%D9%86%DA%AF%D8%B1%D9%81%D8%AA Ayatollah Imam Ardebil] 18:28, 15 May 2026 (UTC)~ *China encourages the US and Iran to continue resolving their differences and disputes, including the nuclear issue, through negotiations, and advocates the swift reopening of the Strait of Hormuz on the basis of maintaining a ceasefire **Chinese FM Wang[https://aa.com.tr/en/asia-pacific/chinese-top-diplomat-urges-diplomacy-on-iran-after-trump-xi-summit/3938851 ]18:28, 15 May 2026 (UTC)~ *The most important issue today is trust. We cannot trust the Americans in any way **Iraqchi [https://en.mehrnews.com/news/244536/Araghchi-holds-presser-in-New-Delhi ] 18:30, 15 May 2026 (UTC)~ == See also == * [[Iran]] * [[Israel]] * [[Middle East]] * [[Second presidency of Donald Trump]] * [[Might makes right]] == External links == {{Wikipedia}} {{Commons category}} * [https://www.bbc.com BBC coverage of 2026 Iran conflict] * [https://www.aljazeera.com/news Al Jazeera: Iran crisis coverage] [[Category:2026]] [[Category:2020s in Iran]] [[Category:Wars and battles]] [[Category:Arab-Israeli conflict]] by3ylbqtou9zcjqqlt8omoxd3jul0n6 2 304879 3942096 3941761 2026-05-17T16:50:17Z Saroj 2925457 + 3942096 wikitext text/x-wiki I am taking on a personal challenge to create at least one article every day for 100 days. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 13:48, 7 March 2026 (UTC) # [[Margaret Qualley]], American actress. 7 March 2026 # [[Sabrina Carpenter]], American singer, songwriter, and actress. 8 March 2026 # [[Materialists (film)|''Materialists'' (film)]], 2025 film by [[Celine Song]]. 9 March 2026 # ''[[We Live in Time]]'', 2024 film by John Crowley. 10 March 2026 # ''[[Cha Cha Real Smooth]]'', 2022 film by Cooper Raiff. 11 March 2026 # [[Balen Shah]], Nepalese rapper and politician. 12 March 2026 # [[Sydney Sweeney]], American actress. 13 March 2026 # [[Eternity (2025 film)|''Eternity'' (2025 film)]], 2025 film by David Freyne. 14 March 2026 # [[Alia Bhatt]], British actress. 15 March 2026 # ''[[Uncut Gems]]'', 2019 film by the Safdie brothers. 16 March 2026 # [[Ejae]], South Korean and American singer and songwriter. 17 March 2026 # [[Gracie Abrams]], American singer and songwriter. 18 March 2026 # [[Sara Arjun]], Indian actress. 19 March 2026 # [[Maya Hawke]], American actress and singer-songwriter. 20 March 2026 # [[Tate McRae]], Canadian singer, songwriter, and dancer. 21 March 2026 # [[Dakota Johnson]], American actress. 22 March 2026 # [[August Ames]], Canadian pornographic actress. 23 March 2026 # [[Amy Adams]], American actress. 24 March 2026 # [[Alexandra Botez]], American-Canadian chess player. 25 March 2026 # [[Andrea Botez]], American-Canadian chess player. 26 March 2026 # [[Rachel Zegler]], American actress and singer. 27 March 2026 # [[Amybeth McNulty]], Irish and Canadian actress. 28 March 2026 # [[Robert Pattinson]], English actor. 29 March 2026 # [[Emily Willis]], American pornographic actress. 30 March 2026 # [[Sofia Carson]], American actress and singer. 31 March 2026 # [[Lola Tung]], American actress. 1 April 2026 # [[Charli XCX]], British singer. 2 April 2026 # [[Yami Gautam]], Indian actress. 3 April 2026 # [[Lily James]], English actress. 4 April 2026 # [[Maude Apatow]], American actress. 5 April 2026 # [[Pokimane]], Moroccan and Canadian streamer and YouTuber. 6 April 2026 # [[MrBeast]], American YouTuber. 7 April 2026 # [[Sophia Lillis]], American actress. 8 April 2026 # [[Cailee Spaeny]], American actress. 9 April 2026 # [[Milly Alcock]], Australian actress. 10 April 2026 # [[Alexa Demie]], American actress. 11 April 2026 # [[Austin Butler]], American actor. 12 April 2026 # [[Rosé (singer)|Rosé]], New Zealand and South Korean singer. 13 April 2026 # [[Barry Keoghan]], Irish actor. 14 April 2026 # [[Jessie Buckley]], Irish actress and singer. 15 April 2026 # [[Úrsula Corberó]], Spanish actress. 16 April 2026 # [[Nischal Basnet]], Nepalese film director and actor. 17 April 2026 # [[Ram Charan]], Indian actor. 18 April 2026 # [[Farhan Akhtar]], Indian actor, filmmaker and singer. 19 April 2026 # [[Sajal Aly]], Pakistani actress. 20 April 2026 # [[Kajal Aggarwal]], Indian actress. 21 April 2026 # [[Zac Efron]], American actor. 22 April 2026 # [[Sara Ali Khan]], Indian actress. 23 April 2026 # [[Katrina Kaif]], British actress. 24 April 2026 # [[Vikram (actor)|Vikram]], Indian actor. 25 April 2026 # [[Nicole Wallace]], Spanish actress. 26 April 2026 # [[Aneet Padda]], Indian actress. 27 April 2026 # [[Michael (2026 film)|''Michael'' (2026 film)]], 2026 American film directed by Antoine Fuqua. 28 April 2026 # [[Ryan Gosling]], Canadian actor. 29 April 2026 # [[Diljit Dosanjh]], Indian singer and actor. 30 April 2026 # [[John Abraham]], Indian actor and film producer. 1 May 2026 # [[Suriya]], Indian actor and film producer. 2 May 2026 # [[Rashmika Mandanna]], Indian actress. 3 May 2026 # [[Trisha Krishnan]], Indian actress. 4 May 2026 # [[Henry Cavill]], British actor. 5 May 2026 # [[Bhavitha Mandava]], Indian model. 6 May 2026 # [[Vicky Kaushal]], Indian actor. 7 May 2026 # [[Allu Arjun]], Indian actor. 8 May 2026 # [[Iqra Aziz]], Pakistani actress. 9 May 2026 # [[Keerthy Suresh]], Indian actress. 10 May 2026 # [[Chloë Grace Moretz]], American actress. 11 May 2026 # [[Parineeti Chopra]], Indian actress. 12 May 2026 # [[Saoirse Ronan]], American-born Irish actress. 13 May 2026 # [[Olivia Cooke]], British actress. 14 May 2026 # [[Mrunal Thakur]], Indian actress. 15 May 2026 # [[Hunter Schafer]], American actress and model. 16 May 2026 # [[Hunter Schafer]], Indian actress and film producer. 17 May 2026 r7cr0nn6q7ns8ms1r23ovb6z4eija5t 3942097 3942096 2026-05-17T16:50:31Z Saroj 2925457 // Edit via Wikiplus 3942097 wikitext text/x-wiki I am taking on a personal challenge to create at least one article every day for 100 days. --[[User:Saroj|Saroj]] ([[User talk:Saroj|talk]]) 13:48, 7 March 2026 (UTC) # [[Margaret Qualley]], American actress. 7 March 2026 # [[Sabrina Carpenter]], American singer, songwriter, and actress. 8 March 2026 # [[Materialists (film)|''Materialists'' (film)]], 2025 film by [[Celine Song]]. 9 March 2026 # ''[[We Live in Time]]'', 2024 film by John Crowley. 10 March 2026 # ''[[Cha Cha Real Smooth]]'', 2022 film by Cooper Raiff. 11 March 2026 # [[Balen Shah]], Nepalese rapper and politician. 12 March 2026 # [[Sydney Sweeney]], American actress. 13 March 2026 # [[Eternity (2025 film)|''Eternity'' (2025 film)]], 2025 film by David Freyne. 14 March 2026 # [[Alia Bhatt]], British actress. 15 March 2026 # ''[[Uncut Gems]]'', 2019 film by the Safdie brothers. 16 March 2026 # [[Ejae]], South Korean and American singer and songwriter. 17 March 2026 # [[Gracie Abrams]], American singer and songwriter. 18 March 2026 # [[Sara Arjun]], Indian actress. 19 March 2026 # [[Maya Hawke]], American actress and singer-songwriter. 20 March 2026 # [[Tate McRae]], Canadian singer, songwriter, and dancer. 21 March 2026 # [[Dakota Johnson]], American actress. 22 March 2026 # [[August Ames]], Canadian pornographic actress. 23 March 2026 # [[Amy Adams]], American actress. 24 March 2026 # [[Alexandra Botez]], American-Canadian chess player. 25 March 2026 # [[Andrea Botez]], American-Canadian chess player. 26 March 2026 # [[Rachel Zegler]], American actress and singer. 27 March 2026 # [[Amybeth McNulty]], Irish and Canadian actress. 28 March 2026 # [[Robert Pattinson]], English actor. 29 March 2026 # [[Emily Willis]], American pornographic actress. 30 March 2026 # [[Sofia Carson]], American actress and singer. 31 March 2026 # [[Lola Tung]], American actress. 1 April 2026 # [[Charli XCX]], British singer. 2 April 2026 # [[Yami Gautam]], Indian actress. 3 April 2026 # [[Lily James]], English actress. 4 April 2026 # [[Maude Apatow]], American actress. 5 April 2026 # [[Pokimane]], Moroccan and Canadian streamer and YouTuber. 6 April 2026 # [[MrBeast]], American YouTuber. 7 April 2026 # [[Sophia Lillis]], American actress. 8 April 2026 # [[Cailee Spaeny]], American actress. 9 April 2026 # [[Milly Alcock]], Australian actress. 10 April 2026 # [[Alexa Demie]], American actress. 11 April 2026 # [[Austin Butler]], American actor. 12 April 2026 # [[Rosé (singer)|Rosé]], New Zealand and South Korean singer. 13 April 2026 # [[Barry Keoghan]], Irish actor. 14 April 2026 # [[Jessie Buckley]], Irish actress and singer. 15 April 2026 # [[Úrsula Corberó]], Spanish actress. 16 April 2026 # [[Nischal Basnet]], Nepalese film director and actor. 17 April 2026 # [[Ram Charan]], Indian actor. 18 April 2026 # [[Farhan Akhtar]], Indian actor, filmmaker and singer. 19 April 2026 # [[Sajal Aly]], Pakistani actress. 20 April 2026 # [[Kajal Aggarwal]], Indian actress. 21 April 2026 # [[Zac Efron]], American actor. 22 April 2026 # [[Sara Ali Khan]], Indian actress. 23 April 2026 # [[Katrina Kaif]], British actress. 24 April 2026 # [[Vikram (actor)|Vikram]], Indian actor. 25 April 2026 # [[Nicole Wallace]], Spanish actress. 26 April 2026 # [[Aneet Padda]], Indian actress. 27 April 2026 # [[Michael (2026 film)|''Michael'' (2026 film)]], 2026 American film directed by Antoine Fuqua. 28 April 2026 # [[Ryan Gosling]], Canadian actor. 29 April 2026 # [[Diljit Dosanjh]], Indian singer and actor. 30 April 2026 # [[John Abraham]], Indian actor and film producer. 1 May 2026 # [[Suriya]], Indian actor and film producer. 2 May 2026 # [[Rashmika Mandanna]], Indian actress. 3 May 2026 # [[Trisha Krishnan]], Indian actress. 4 May 2026 # [[Henry Cavill]], British actor. 5 May 2026 # [[Bhavitha Mandava]], Indian model. 6 May 2026 # [[Vicky Kaushal]], Indian actor. 7 May 2026 # [[Allu Arjun]], Indian actor. 8 May 2026 # [[Iqra Aziz]], Pakistani actress. 9 May 2026 # [[Keerthy Suresh]], Indian actress. 10 May 2026 # [[Chloë Grace Moretz]], American actress. 11 May 2026 # [[Parineeti Chopra]], Indian actress. 12 May 2026 # [[Saoirse Ronan]], American-born Irish actress. 13 May 2026 # [[Olivia Cooke]], British actress. 14 May 2026 # [[Mrunal Thakur]], Indian actress. 15 May 2026 # [[Hunter Schafer]], American actress and model. 16 May 2026 # [[Nayanthara]], Indian actress and film producer. 17 May 2026 f6ezjvuv6f1lmfmmyyucxp38ucc84wy 0 306676 3942140 3932686 2026-05-17T19:05:09Z WereSpielChequers 167087 typo 3942140 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Kessler Twins 1966.JPG|thumb|280px|The Kessler Twins in 1966]] '''Alice''' and '''Ellen Kessler''' (born '''Kaessler''', 20 August 1936 – 17 November 2025), usually credited as the '''[[w:Kessler Twins|Kessler Twins]]''', were twin German singers, dancers and actresses who were popular in Europe, especially Germany and Italy, during the 1950s and 1960s. ==Quotes== *What was [[w:RAI|RAI]] like back then? Let's get this straight from the start: for two people like us who had come from the Lido, it was like being plunged into a world of [[prohibition]]. We kept wondering how [[w:Antonello Falqui|Falqui]] and Sacerdote had come up with the idea of fishing for us on that stage. But we were happy. We still earned good money – four hundred thousand lire – we no longer had to work late like at the Lido, and, most importantly, we were building an extraordinary reputation. :*From an interview by Laura Delli Colli, ''Le «Signorine Dadaumpa»'', ''la Repubblica'', 21 August 1991, quoted in [[w:Aldo Grasso|Aldo Grasso]], ''Storia della televisione italiana'', foreword by [[w:Beniamino Placido|Beniamino Placido]], Garzanti, Milano, 1992, p. 143. ISBN 88-11-73819-9 *[About their father] He was so proud of his beautiful twin daughters that he would make us walk two or three metres ahead of him so he could hear the enthusiastic comments from passers-by. If, for even a moment, we didn't walk as straight as a die, the command would echo immediately: 'Back straight, walk straight.' Every now and then, he would take us to his favourite pub and force us to dance and play the accordion, just as he had taught us, like you do with circus dogs. Later on, whenever we realised he wanted to take us somewhere, one of us would immediately go and hide. :*From an interview released to the German weekly ''Die Zeit'', quoted in ''[https://bari.repubblica.it/dettaglio-news/berlino-19:00/1733728 TV: Kessler raccontano, eravamo terrorizzate da papà]'', ''repubblica.it'', 30 August 2006. ==Quotes about== *Alice and Ellen (Leipzig, 28 August 1936), dancers and showgirls, made their debut on Italian TV with ''Giardino d'inverno''. They then appeared in no fewer than six ''Studio Uno'' series and in ''Canzonissima '69'', before returning to TV in 1980 with ''Kessler Kabaret''. Some of the theme tunes from their programmes have become extremely famous, such as ''La notte è piccola per noi'', ''Da-da-umpa'' and ''Pollo e champagne''. :*[[w:Aldo Grasso|Aldo Grasso]], quoted in Aldo Grasso, ''Storia della televisione italiana'', foreword by [[w:Beniamino Placido|Beniamino Placido]], Garzanti, Milano, 1992. ISBN 88-11-73819-9, p. 143. *For Italy [...], they were 'revolutionary' heroines. Their first appearance on the small screen, which at the time was the new domestic hub for families during the economic boom, coincided with the centenary of the Unification of Italy in 1961. And these two smiling, elegant 'Valkyries' [...] were also among the key figures in that unity of behaviour and language attributable to the media power of 1960s TV [...]. At the time, the provincial 'Italietta' welcomed the arrival of the German dancers and showgirls like the landing of two 'Martians'. [...] The entire Italian ''intelligentia'' was captivated by their debut [...]. Italy was still truly a ''Belpaese'' ('beautiful country'), more naïve and therefore still human, moving to the relaxed rhythm of the Twins. Initially, it was only resurgent bigotry that criticised them and held them up as an example of 'immorality', but in showing off those endless, athletic legs, there was none of the risqué provocation of their Saturday-night successors. Under their iconic black, sheer tights, there was so much more. And for the 'TV addicts' of an era when broadcasting was still limited to a few hours a day [...] and there were only two channels, the real 'Saturday in the village' was the Kessler sisters' show. Italy's girlfriends. :*[[w:Massimiliano Castellani|Massimiliano Castellani]], quoted in ''[https://www.avvenire.it/agora/spettacoli/morte-insieme-le-gemelle-kessler-icone-di-unitalia-in-trasformazione_101060 Morte insieme le gemelle Kessler, icone di un'Italia in trasformazione]'', ''avvenire.it'', 17 November 2025. ==External links== {{Wikipedia}} [[Category:1936 births]] [[Category:2025 deaths]] [[Category:Dancers from Germany]] [[Category:Dancers from Germany]] [[Category:Actresses from Germany]] 7yqeh6i9j8nw05fn1qlrhu2e6yisrsw 0 306997 3942247 3939307 2026-05-18T04:38:39Z ~2026-18347-32 3304826 /* Nermal/Abnermal */ 3942247 wikitext text/x-wiki {{Italic title}} '''''[[w:Garfield's Pet Force|Garfield's Pet Force]]''''' is a 2009 American [[w:Computer animation|CGI]] movie starring [[Garfield]]. It was produced by [[w:Paws, Inc.|Paws, Inc.]] in cooperation with [[w:Davis Entertainment|Davis Entertainment]], and [[w:The Animation Picture Company|The Animation Picture Company]] and distributed by [[w:20th Century Fox Home Entertainment|20th Century Fox Home Entertainment]]. The movie was released in cinemas June 16, 2009 :''Directed by [[w:Mark A.Z. Dippé|Mark A.Z. Dippé]]. Produced by [[w:Jim Davis (cartoonist)|Jim Davis]] and [[w:John Davis (producer)|John Davis]]. Written by [[w:Jim Davis (cartoonist)|Jim Davis]].'' {{film-stub}} ==Garfield/Garzooka== * My teammates are under Vetvix's control. * Let the fur fly! * Good going, comrade. * This way. * I knew you could do it. ==Odie/Odious== * Cool. * No way. ==Vetvix== * Bring it on! * I'll get Garzooka if that's the last thing I'll do. * I meant for good, you idiot! * ''[after she gets turns good with the moscram]'' Can you forgive me? ==Arlene/Starlena== * ''[disgusted]'' Odie! * Be careful, Garfield. * My eyes are killing me. * Now you're talkin' ==Nermal/Abnermal== * Is this your gun? ''[speeds around the guard dog again]'' Is this your belt? * Fellow freaks, are you with me? * (after he gets given a cosplay costume) Ha-ha, sweet! ==Eli== * Man, I gotta get some of that serum! ==Jon Arbuckle== * Wait for me! * Hey, it's the real Pet Force! ==Dialogue== (coming soon) ==Cast== (coming soon) ==External links== {{wikipedia}} [[Category:2009 films]] [[Category:2000s American animated films]] [[Category:American computer-animated films]] [[Category:American children's animated comedy films]] [[Category:American children's animated fantasy films]] [[Category:Superhero films]] [[Category:Direct-to-video animated films]] [[Category:Garfield films]] 9u7w4fuhkuygguiuopnwotkz9ma73ga 0 307113 3942070 3941994 2026-05-17T14:19:27Z Veera.sj 156205 /* Quotes about */ ** Neville Tuli (18:02 - 18:19) 3942070 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Modern Indian painting|Modern Indian painting]]''' is a reactive style of painting to the Western Influence on Indian Painting. {{art-stub}} == Quotes about == * I think after the colonial encounter there is clearly a rupture in that continuity. And I think its the consequences of that rupture that Indian artists had to tackle and work around in the last hundred years. ** [[Ranjit Hoskote]], (03:20 - 03:36), in the documentary ''Development of the Modern Idiom Part -I'', in the series '''The Paintings of India''' telecasted by Doordarshan, the Public Broadcasting Service of India {{Cite web|url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pnjt34Mpr6A&list=PLPahQu0Yh9xDgnKMM1wq7hP9J7xULD4vP&index=4|title=The Paintings of India - Development of the Modern Idiom Part -I|last=National|first=Doordarshan|date=16 July 2014|website=youtube.com|url-status=live|access-date=10 May 2026}} * There was this wonderful balance between the social needs of the painting as well as individual expressions this wonderful balance I think got disrupted ever since the colonial period where old ateliers were broken but the new forms tha came into being did not have a historical past. So willy-nilly the individual painter was in a limbo. One the one hand he didn't have a system by which to formulate his ideas and his forms and on the other hand as an individual as though he felt a strong need to express himself at the same time he was uprooted because there wasn't a past or a tradition to go by. ** Yashodhara Dalmia (03:36 - 04:31) * One normally begins the story of modern Indian art with the history of Abanindranath Tagore and the movement he began which later came to be called the Bengal school but I think there's a case for also looking back further, you know, further backwards say to the middle years of the nineteenth century to the beginnings say of the first art schools in India because I think a new social and professional category of art and artists is really born in that period, so what I think is important to also take into consideration that there is a new group of middle class professional artists very different from earlier craftsmen and artisans who come into the picture and who initially are really practitioners of oil painting a certain kind of academic realism, but who do command the scene of that period and of course one has in mind a figure like Raja Ravi Varma in the South, who does become a figure of national importance. What is equally important to remember that many of these first academic western-style artist so to quote are equally involved trying to build a category which they consider is a national art for modern India so they're interested in working on Indian themes specifically cultivating a new kind of tasteful art among an Indian art public. ** Tapati Guha Thakurta (06:35 - 08:03) * Well, essentially Ravi Varma's importance came from using the Western Academic style and bringing in the Indian theme rooted in its myth, in his mythology its religious aspects its sense of color, its sense of dress, sense of ritual, stories from the [[Ramayana]], from [[Mahabharata]], from other kind of stories of which already had a root in the Indian ethos, but the style was totally alien. ** Neville Tuli (08:41 - 9:10) * He is working within a colonial period, he is also trying to make his own place within the colonial regime. He is not in actual fact a victim or a servant of that context. He is actually making major transformations through a new medium that he has learned of his own will and through a degree of symbiosis with what he understands European painting to be but which he has intelligence and the skill to be able to make into an idiom appropriate to the late 19th century where major historical changes are taking place. ** Geeta Kapur (09:50 - 10:31) * In reaction to [[Raja Ravi Varma|Ravi Varma]], and the kind of school that he propagated the Bengal School or as the people would say that which was started by Abanindranath Tagore, [[Ananda Coomaraswamy|Coomaraswamy]], Havel together in which they went back to the Indian miniatures, Mughal Miniatures, Pahari Miniatures to [[Ajanta Caves|Ajantha]] taking the inspiration from Indian traditional art and deriving a new style which again had the myth and religious as the substance of the painting but the use of a line, a different use of color, a different sense of perspective which against Ravi Varma. ** Neville Tuli (11:25 - 12:11) * There isn't a way in which the new art movement completely rejects this academic past and purely labels it as something derivative, colonial and something which is not of any aesthetic merit. What Abanindranath and his first phase of students were trying to do was to really rebuild a new nationalist art. But still largely concerned with ways in which to break out of the Western academic mode and build what they considered an idealistic spiritual art. With Abanindranath movement there is an equal emphasis on building an artistic collective. Because he does want to build a school he feels that the project of a new national art cannot be achieved by a single person. It requires a whole movement, it requires a following. I think that becomes a kind of paradox that the success of the movement relied so much on the dissemination of a certain stereotype of what was then (kind of) highly (kind of) applauded as this is true Indian art. But that also becomes the main weakness of the movement, that it becomes repititive, it becomes very formulaic. And in the later history of modern Indian art we find that those we consider the new modern masters would consciously break away from the collective. ** Tapati Guha Thakurta (13:28 - 28:43) * When the Kalabhavan is set up in 1920, it does reprsent a major break within the nationalist art movement. In fact its [[Rabindranath Tagore|Rabindranath]]'s own dissatisfaction with the very closeted and haute hause's nature of Indian style painting as it came up in the Joresaco household which propels him to set up this new art center. And its prime concern is to reintegrate art with nature, with everyday life, and particularly as he says '''with living folk and rural traditions'''. And I think that does signal a major shift within the modern art movement where Indian art moves away from its ancient, classical, sources. Or purely away from its medieval courtly traditions. And begins to look at art at a more everyday level so this is the living tradition around them. By the time we come to the 20s I think there is less talk about transcendentalism and idealism and more talk about invigorating Indian art, bringing (it you know) the spirit of India and the living India was really village India which they discovered around. ** Tapati Guha Thakurta (15:42 - 28:43) * One offshoot of the Bengal school to some extent was Nandalal Bose, one of the finest artists of the modern India, who first started as as student of Abanindranath Tagore and when Rabindranath asked him to join him at Shantiniketan, a whole new openness of views came to him where the countryside, the rural daily life of the artist and the crass person became a more natural inspiration along with the nature. ** Neville Tuli (17:55 - 18:24) * I think Nandalal is really at the forefront of this attempt to reintegrate a modern artist's sensibility with these folk traditions. And I think one major point of this merger comes about in the 30s when he is called on by Gandhi to decorate the panels of the Haripura Congress. This is in 1938. Nandalal's Haripura Congress Posters, they do represent a time when the modern artist is able to fully impersonate a folkstyle. And its extremely important because he is using the most simple of material. He is using a series of characters which are drawn from everday village life. Village musicians, trades and castes, village Gods, and he's using the style of Odisha Pattochitra. And together he packages it in a way that it was still unmistakably the hand of Nandalal Bose. But it represents now a new modern art which can signify the people's traditions. ** Tapati Guha Thakurta (18:25 - 28:43) * Jamini Roy's importance is pivotal in the sense he was probably one of the first modern Indian artists who decided to go back to the folk and tribal traditions of Indian art, used the color and the line, use of (let's say) the Kalighats or even the folk traditions to evolve an idiom totally his own and this was best represented by eventually his work of the 1940s in which he took even a theme so alien as "study of the Bible" or themes based on Christianity to which he did not feel a natural emotional empathy, but he realized that if his style could represent themes of such nature, he had truely developed a new style. ** Neville Tuli (19:55 - 20:42) * Along with Jamini Roy, there was Gaganendranath Tagore who to some extent was an individualistic artist. A man who followed no group, no school, no movement, a true connoiseur of the arts and a man who genuinely supported and nurtured many artists. Gaganendranath in many ways started a look into the West as a source of inspiration to some extent in the 1920s, him along with Rabindranath Tagore, to go abroad, the German Expressionists, very large exhibition of wood cuts, and that inspired many to look at [[cubism]] which was a very important movement at that time, but to India, it has not come so early. ** Neville Tuli (20:42 - 21:31) * By the early 1940s, a whole new interest in European modernism had emerged and a pivotal player in that whole process was [[Amrita Sher-Gil]]. Being open to the West, she brought in a kind of post-Impressionist sense of color, form which was very new for India. And in the late 1930s, she became quite an icon figure and inspired many artists to study the use of color and given structure to Indian modern art. ** Neville Tuli (22:06 - 22:48) * She (Amrita Sher-Gil) had seen the Indian people from the point of view of an outsider who wanted to become an insider. ** [[Mulk Raj Anand]] (22:50 - 23:03) * Ajantha is part of her (Amrita Sher-Gil's) itenarary when she goes visits them, she visits the south Indian temples, the mural paintings, and for her its a whole new rediscovery. She is coming out of an academic training and a modernist background, and she's out to rediscover a new Indian lineage. And Ajantha to her becomes a symbol of a grandeur on the greatness of India's artistic past against what she considered the mediocrity of the present. Nothing she saw around her inspired her as much as some of these great traditions, either miniatures or Ajantha would. And there is a distinct way which tries to again work out her own visual codes. Drawing on the colors, the stylyzations, the physiognomy of the Ajantha figures. And I think in the late thirties this represents another very critical moment when Ajantha becomes very central in defining a lineage for the modern Indian artists. ** Tapati Guha Thakurta (23:17 - 24:20) * I am an individualist, evolving a new technique, which though not necessarily Indian in the traditional sense of the word, will yet be fundamentally Indian in spirit. With the eternal significance of form and color, I interpret India and principally the life of the Indian poor on the plane that transcends that of mere sentimental interest. ** Amrita Sher-Gil (24:23 - 25:03) * She was already in Paris, connected with a view that could be called a kind of new humanism, realism that developed between the two world wars. And coming with that kind of view she encountered India with a boasted element of a kind of nostalgia because she had lived here before of trying to represent the people. ** Vivan Sundaram (25:03 - 25:38) * So in a sense there was a social contract among patrons, artists and viewers. And this social contract of understanding if you like has broken down. And I think that its the consequences of this breakdown that really inform Indian art from 1947 to the present. ** [[Ranjit Hoskote]], (04:10 - 04:30), in the documentary ''Development of the Modern Idiom Part -II'', in the series '''The Paintings of India''' telecasted by Doordarshan, the Public Broadcasting Service of India {{Cite web|url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voQnMRaAMHE&list=PLUiMfS6qzIMywfcZB9u9T77GjZQeoFdrB&index=9|title=The Paintings of India - Development of the Modern Idiom Part -II|last=National|first=Doordarshan|website=youtube.com|url-status=live|access-date=13 May 2026}} * The Progressive Artist Group was established which has been given a lot of attentoin and critical acclaim...and six of them...tried to break out from the established orthodoxies prevailing in Bombay at that time. ** Neville Tuli (05:37 - 06:10) * It started with the independence and the freedom movement. There was a completely new new world. ** Geeti Sen (06:11 - 06:21) * We could move mountains. We were in the process of becoming ourselves. ** [[S. H. Raza]] (06:32 - 06:38) * Both the Calcutta Group...and the Progressive Artists are important because the ushered in [[Modernism]]. This is around the 40s when international modernism itself was being mediated to them through the war emigrees, and then there were books and prints that were coming into the country as well as their own encounters with artists in the west. So they were being exposed to international Modernism and on the other hand because this was a period of gaining independence slowly they were beginning to reinvent their past by which they had to understand and delve into historical and cultural past. And make sense out of it in the present period. ** Yashodhara Dalmia (06:39 - 07:47) * I saw all the Indian works and then felt that I should paint something else. After visiting the exhibition, I combined three periods. The form of the Guptha period, the strong colors of the Basohli perioda and the innocence of folk art. ** M. F. Husain (08:03 - 08:29) * Husain, obviously, legend, a man who has energy which is unmatched by most of the artists...his style becomes something which is easily recognizable by anyone and that's the hallmark always of a great artist. ** Neville Tuli (08:48 - 09:06) * Raza, Gade both brilliant colourists. Raza sustaning the journey far, deeper, evolving different idioms, different styles over the last 40 years...Each of them represented different styles different ways by which they imbibe the Indian traditional art. They expose themselves and share the western academic schools. Especially the influence of Paris ** Neville Tuli (09:07 - 09:40) * ...their importance as we know lay precisely in being able to put together a medlely of cultures and events and form a cohesive modern idiom which was to influence Indian art in the decades to come ** Yashodara Dalmia (09:41 - 10:01) * Husain needs no introduction of course. But as much as one admires his vitality, his energy, his capacity to invent and reinvent art, he would be importan also because he was thinking historically about art. He was thinking about the direction it had to take, the way in which it could become Indian as well as international. In those early years in the 40s and early 50s, he was making some of his most significant paintings. ** Yashodara Dalmia (10:02 - 10:42) * There is no way of making an aged art young again. It must be born a new, and grow up from infancy as a new thing, working out its own salvation from effort, in all fear and trembling. ** F. N. Souza 11:10 - 11:26 in his manifesto for Progressive Artists Group, [[Bombay]] * I think the traditional concept of beauty has had a great deal to do with the imperative of harmony... bringing about of harmony between or accord between the viewer, what is perceived and the essence of that experience. And somehow with the onset of the modernity it appears that the possibilities of harmony become diminished in someway...what the art experience would aim at is not necessarily the savoring of beauty but possibly the recognition of terror. So rather than the beautiful, I think the states of being that come into play now are much more those of the grotesque. And a great deal of contemporary Indian art is really addressed towards these states. And I can't help but think that this is one of the inevitable outcomes of what you might call the experience of modernity, which is one of fragmentation, of alienation, and of general breakdown of what traiditionally would be seen as harmonic systems of being. ** Ranjit Hosakote (12:28 - 13:54) * Today, all over the world and in India, there are lot of tensions. There is lot of not only disparity, but lot of turmoil, lot of friction, lack of grace. And the innocence is lost in the world today. ** Jatin Das (13:55 - 14:14) * ...in certain periods, there is almost no option for art but to take on the horror of reality and to address it. And this cannot be addressed as art goes through the process of representing the horror and dealing with it in someway. ** Ranjith Hoskote (14:15 - 14:39) * After 25 years of work, I was not satisfied. I looked at my own paintings and I told myself, "Raza, you are not there! This is [[French]] Contemporary Art. There are hundreds of paintings doing this." And I went into introspect. Serious thinking was necessary. It was an inner journey which meant instead of European concepts, I started to study what was Oriental art, what was Indian art which revealed to me as a colossal civilization. ** [[S. H. Raza]] (15:29 - 29:13) * ...the Baroda school became a very important influence in the whole development of modern Indian art. ** Neville Tuli (16:49 - 16:55) * Baroda (school) visualized a new artist, that is an artist who is not only a studio bound, but an artist who is a...modern new citizen of India of a free nation. Hence the pioneers of the school decided that besides the studio training...of painting, sculpture, print making etc., they would also get a good grounding in art history, in languages, in aesthetics etc., and hence it is a very different kind of artist they visualized. ** Gulmohammed Sheikh (16:57 - 17:32) * This link between the artists finding their own originality and finding their own Indianness was always a dominant theme which was in a large extent linked to India finding herself also as a nation after independence. ** Neville Tuli (18:02 - 18:19) ==The Hindu, a leading Daily in India== * The efforts of the Bengal School of art were to revive the Indian language in art. They tried to study Indian miniature art, Ajanta paintings and so on, and imbibe those elements into contemporary paintings. It was very similar to neoclassicism in 19th century France when French artists tried to revive the Greek and Roman classical idiom during Napolean’s reign ** Dr. Deepak Kannal to The Hindu, with Shilpa Elizbeth for the column [https://www.thehindu.com/news/cities/bangalore/revisiting-haripura-panels-and-the-vivid-brush-strokes-of-indian-history/article68604664.ece Revisiting Haripura Panels and the vivid brush strokes of Indian history]. * It was an outcome of a pan-Indian and a retrospective understanding of visual arts. Nanda Babu not only borrowed from Ajanta, Mughal or Rajasthani paintings, but he tried to understand Indian art and its language in retrospective and introduce that language in these Haripura panels. ** Dr. Deepak Kannal * I really admire that he has formulated this idiom very carefully. He has borrowed from so many sources, and unless you are conversant with these traditions deeply, you will not notice that. The amalgam is so beautiful ** Dr. Deepak Kannal * I think he borrows profusely from the classical tradition too. That is why it is a retrospective and pan-Indian understanding of Indian art. He chooses from every corner of the country and every period of history. He borrows from Ajanta, manuscript paintings of Rajasthan, and profusely from Jain paintings ** Dr. Deepak Kannal * In many of the Haripura panels, the idea is borrowed from the Company School and the idiom from the Traditional School ** Dr. Deepak Kannal ==External links== {{wikipedia}} [[Category:Art]] [[Category:India]] reheyalgq6k859sa4o7h3cip41rm6j1 3942072 3942070 2026-05-17T14:25:14Z Veera.sj 156205 /* Quotes about */ ** S. H. Raza (20:02 - 20:27) 3942072 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Modern Indian painting|Modern Indian painting]]''' is a reactive style of painting to the Western Influence on Indian Painting. {{art-stub}} == Quotes about == * I think after the colonial encounter there is clearly a rupture in that continuity. And I think its the consequences of that rupture that Indian artists had to tackle and work around in the last hundred years. ** [[Ranjit Hoskote]], (03:20 - 03:36), in the documentary ''Development of the Modern Idiom Part -I'', in the series '''The Paintings of India''' telecasted by Doordarshan, the Public Broadcasting Service of India {{Cite web|url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pnjt34Mpr6A&list=PLPahQu0Yh9xDgnKMM1wq7hP9J7xULD4vP&index=4|title=The Paintings of India - Development of the Modern Idiom Part -I|last=National|first=Doordarshan|date=16 July 2014|website=youtube.com|url-status=live|access-date=10 May 2026}} * There was this wonderful balance between the social needs of the painting as well as individual expressions this wonderful balance I think got disrupted ever since the colonial period where old ateliers were broken but the new forms tha came into being did not have a historical past. So willy-nilly the individual painter was in a limbo. One the one hand he didn't have a system by which to formulate his ideas and his forms and on the other hand as an individual as though he felt a strong need to express himself at the same time he was uprooted because there wasn't a past or a tradition to go by. ** Yashodhara Dalmia (03:36 - 04:31) * One normally begins the story of modern Indian art with the history of Abanindranath Tagore and the movement he began which later came to be called the Bengal school but I think there's a case for also looking back further, you know, further backwards say to the middle years of the nineteenth century to the beginnings say of the first art schools in India because I think a new social and professional category of art and artists is really born in that period, so what I think is important to also take into consideration that there is a new group of middle class professional artists very different from earlier craftsmen and artisans who come into the picture and who initially are really practitioners of oil painting a certain kind of academic realism, but who do command the scene of that period and of course one has in mind a figure like Raja Ravi Varma in the South, who does become a figure of national importance. What is equally important to remember that many of these first academic western-style artist so to quote are equally involved trying to build a category which they consider is a national art for modern India so they're interested in working on Indian themes specifically cultivating a new kind of tasteful art among an Indian art public. ** Tapati Guha Thakurta (06:35 - 08:03) * Well, essentially Ravi Varma's importance came from using the Western Academic style and bringing in the Indian theme rooted in its myth, in his mythology its religious aspects its sense of color, its sense of dress, sense of ritual, stories from the [[Ramayana]], from [[Mahabharata]], from other kind of stories of which already had a root in the Indian ethos, but the style was totally alien. ** Neville Tuli (08:41 - 9:10) * He is working within a colonial period, he is also trying to make his own place within the colonial regime. He is not in actual fact a victim or a servant of that context. He is actually making major transformations through a new medium that he has learned of his own will and through a degree of symbiosis with what he understands European painting to be but which he has intelligence and the skill to be able to make into an idiom appropriate to the late 19th century where major historical changes are taking place. ** Geeta Kapur (09:50 - 10:31) * In reaction to [[Raja Ravi Varma|Ravi Varma]], and the kind of school that he propagated the Bengal School or as the people would say that which was started by Abanindranath Tagore, [[Ananda Coomaraswamy|Coomaraswamy]], Havel together in which they went back to the Indian miniatures, Mughal Miniatures, Pahari Miniatures to [[Ajanta Caves|Ajantha]] taking the inspiration from Indian traditional art and deriving a new style which again had the myth and religious as the substance of the painting but the use of a line, a different use of color, a different sense of perspective which against Ravi Varma. ** Neville Tuli (11:25 - 12:11) * There isn't a way in which the new art movement completely rejects this academic past and purely labels it as something derivative, colonial and something which is not of any aesthetic merit. What Abanindranath and his first phase of students were trying to do was to really rebuild a new nationalist art. But still largely concerned with ways in which to break out of the Western academic mode and build what they considered an idealistic spiritual art. With Abanindranath movement there is an equal emphasis on building an artistic collective. Because he does want to build a school he feels that the project of a new national art cannot be achieved by a single person. It requires a whole movement, it requires a following. I think that becomes a kind of paradox that the success of the movement relied so much on the dissemination of a certain stereotype of what was then (kind of) highly (kind of) applauded as this is true Indian art. But that also becomes the main weakness of the movement, that it becomes repititive, it becomes very formulaic. And in the later history of modern Indian art we find that those we consider the new modern masters would consciously break away from the collective. ** Tapati Guha Thakurta (13:28 - 28:43) * When the Kalabhavan is set up in 1920, it does reprsent a major break within the nationalist art movement. In fact its [[Rabindranath Tagore|Rabindranath]]'s own dissatisfaction with the very closeted and haute hause's nature of Indian style painting as it came up in the Joresaco household which propels him to set up this new art center. And its prime concern is to reintegrate art with nature, with everyday life, and particularly as he says '''with living folk and rural traditions'''. And I think that does signal a major shift within the modern art movement where Indian art moves away from its ancient, classical, sources. Or purely away from its medieval courtly traditions. And begins to look at art at a more everyday level so this is the living tradition around them. By the time we come to the 20s I think there is less talk about transcendentalism and idealism and more talk about invigorating Indian art, bringing (it you know) the spirit of India and the living India was really village India which they discovered around. ** Tapati Guha Thakurta (15:42 - 28:43) * One offshoot of the Bengal school to some extent was Nandalal Bose, one of the finest artists of the modern India, who first started as as student of Abanindranath Tagore and when Rabindranath asked him to join him at Shantiniketan, a whole new openness of views came to him where the countryside, the rural daily life of the artist and the crass person became a more natural inspiration along with the nature. ** Neville Tuli (17:55 - 18:24) * I think Nandalal is really at the forefront of this attempt to reintegrate a modern artist's sensibility with these folk traditions. And I think one major point of this merger comes about in the 30s when he is called on by Gandhi to decorate the panels of the Haripura Congress. This is in 1938. Nandalal's Haripura Congress Posters, they do represent a time when the modern artist is able to fully impersonate a folkstyle. And its extremely important because he is using the most simple of material. He is using a series of characters which are drawn from everday village life. Village musicians, trades and castes, village Gods, and he's using the style of Odisha Pattochitra. And together he packages it in a way that it was still unmistakably the hand of Nandalal Bose. But it represents now a new modern art which can signify the people's traditions. ** Tapati Guha Thakurta (18:25 - 28:43) * Jamini Roy's importance is pivotal in the sense he was probably one of the first modern Indian artists who decided to go back to the folk and tribal traditions of Indian art, used the color and the line, use of (let's say) the Kalighats or even the folk traditions to evolve an idiom totally his own and this was best represented by eventually his work of the 1940s in which he took even a theme so alien as "study of the Bible" or themes based on Christianity to which he did not feel a natural emotional empathy, but he realized that if his style could represent themes of such nature, he had truely developed a new style. ** Neville Tuli (19:55 - 20:42) * Along with Jamini Roy, there was Gaganendranath Tagore who to some extent was an individualistic artist. A man who followed no group, no school, no movement, a true connoiseur of the arts and a man who genuinely supported and nurtured many artists. Gaganendranath in many ways started a look into the West as a source of inspiration to some extent in the 1920s, him along with Rabindranath Tagore, to go abroad, the German Expressionists, very large exhibition of wood cuts, and that inspired many to look at [[cubism]] which was a very important movement at that time, but to India, it has not come so early. ** Neville Tuli (20:42 - 21:31) * By the early 1940s, a whole new interest in European modernism had emerged and a pivotal player in that whole process was [[Amrita Sher-Gil]]. Being open to the West, she brought in a kind of post-Impressionist sense of color, form which was very new for India. And in the late 1930s, she became quite an icon figure and inspired many artists to study the use of color and given structure to Indian modern art. ** Neville Tuli (22:06 - 22:48) * She (Amrita Sher-Gil) had seen the Indian people from the point of view of an outsider who wanted to become an insider. ** [[Mulk Raj Anand]] (22:50 - 23:03) * Ajantha is part of her (Amrita Sher-Gil's) itenarary when she goes visits them, she visits the south Indian temples, the mural paintings, and for her its a whole new rediscovery. She is coming out of an academic training and a modernist background, and she's out to rediscover a new Indian lineage. And Ajantha to her becomes a symbol of a grandeur on the greatness of India's artistic past against what she considered the mediocrity of the present. Nothing she saw around her inspired her as much as some of these great traditions, either miniatures or Ajantha would. And there is a distinct way which tries to again work out her own visual codes. Drawing on the colors, the stylyzations, the physiognomy of the Ajantha figures. And I think in the late thirties this represents another very critical moment when Ajantha becomes very central in defining a lineage for the modern Indian artists. ** Tapati Guha Thakurta (23:17 - 24:20) * I am an individualist, evolving a new technique, which though not necessarily Indian in the traditional sense of the word, will yet be fundamentally Indian in spirit. With the eternal significance of form and color, I interpret India and principally the life of the Indian poor on the plane that transcends that of mere sentimental interest. ** Amrita Sher-Gil (24:23 - 25:03) * She was already in Paris, connected with a view that could be called a kind of new humanism, realism that developed between the two world wars. And coming with that kind of view she encountered India with a boasted element of a kind of nostalgia because she had lived here before of trying to represent the people. ** Vivan Sundaram (25:03 - 25:38) * So in a sense there was a social contract among patrons, artists and viewers. And this social contract of understanding if you like has broken down. And I think that its the consequences of this breakdown that really inform Indian art from 1947 to the present. ** [[Ranjit Hoskote]], (04:10 - 04:30), in the documentary ''Development of the Modern Idiom Part -II'', in the series '''The Paintings of India''' telecasted by Doordarshan, the Public Broadcasting Service of India {{Cite web|url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voQnMRaAMHE&list=PLUiMfS6qzIMywfcZB9u9T77GjZQeoFdrB&index=9|title=The Paintings of India - Development of the Modern Idiom Part -II|last=National|first=Doordarshan|website=youtube.com|url-status=live|access-date=13 May 2026}} * The Progressive Artist Group was established which has been given a lot of attentoin and critical acclaim...and six of them...tried to break out from the established orthodoxies prevailing in Bombay at that time. ** Neville Tuli (05:37 - 06:10) * It started with the independence and the freedom movement. There was a completely new new world. ** Geeti Sen (06:11 - 06:21) * We could move mountains. We were in the process of becoming ourselves. ** [[S. H. Raza]] (06:32 - 06:38) * Both the Calcutta Group...and the Progressive Artists are important because the ushered in [[Modernism]]. This is around the 40s when international modernism itself was being mediated to them through the war emigrees, and then there were books and prints that were coming into the country as well as their own encounters with artists in the west. So they were being exposed to international Modernism and on the other hand because this was a period of gaining independence slowly they were beginning to reinvent their past by which they had to understand and delve into historical and cultural past. And make sense out of it in the present period. ** Yashodhara Dalmia (06:39 - 07:47) * I saw all the Indian works and then felt that I should paint something else. After visiting the exhibition, I combined three periods. The form of the Guptha period, the strong colors of the Basohli perioda and the innocence of folk art. ** M. F. Husain (08:03 - 08:29) * Husain, obviously, legend, a man who has energy which is unmatched by most of the artists...his style becomes something which is easily recognizable by anyone and that's the hallmark always of a great artist. ** Neville Tuli (08:48 - 09:06) * Raza, Gade both brilliant colourists. Raza sustaning the journey far, deeper, evolving different idioms, different styles over the last 40 years...Each of them represented different styles different ways by which they imbibe the Indian traditional art. They expose themselves and share the western academic schools. Especially the influence of Paris ** Neville Tuli (09:07 - 09:40) * ...their importance as we know lay precisely in being able to put together a medlely of cultures and events and form a cohesive modern idiom which was to influence Indian art in the decades to come ** Yashodara Dalmia (09:41 - 10:01) * Husain needs no introduction of course. But as much as one admires his vitality, his energy, his capacity to invent and reinvent art, he would be importan also because he was thinking historically about art. He was thinking about the direction it had to take, the way in which it could become Indian as well as international. In those early years in the 40s and early 50s, he was making some of his most significant paintings. ** Yashodara Dalmia (10:02 - 10:42) * There is no way of making an aged art young again. It must be born a new, and grow up from infancy as a new thing, working out its own salvation from effort, in all fear and trembling. ** F. N. Souza 11:10 - 11:26 in his manifesto for Progressive Artists Group, [[Bombay]] * I think the traditional concept of beauty has had a great deal to do with the imperative of harmony... bringing about of harmony between or accord between the viewer, what is perceived and the essence of that experience. And somehow with the onset of the modernity it appears that the possibilities of harmony become diminished in someway...what the art experience would aim at is not necessarily the savoring of beauty but possibly the recognition of terror. So rather than the beautiful, I think the states of being that come into play now are much more those of the grotesque. And a great deal of contemporary Indian art is really addressed towards these states. And I can't help but think that this is one of the inevitable outcomes of what you might call the experience of modernity, which is one of fragmentation, of alienation, and of general breakdown of what traiditionally would be seen as harmonic systems of being. ** Ranjit Hosakote (12:28 - 13:54) * Today, all over the world and in India, there are lot of tensions. There is lot of not only disparity, but lot of turmoil, lot of friction, lack of grace. And the innocence is lost in the world today. ** Jatin Das (13:55 - 14:14) * ...in certain periods, there is almost no option for art but to take on the horror of reality and to address it. And this cannot be addressed as art goes through the process of representing the horror and dealing with it in someway. ** Ranjith Hoskote (14:15 - 14:39) * After 25 years of work, I was not satisfied. I looked at my own paintings and I told myself, "Raza, you are not there! This is [[French]] Contemporary Art. There are hundreds of paintings doing this." And I went into introspect. Serious thinking was necessary. It was an inner journey which meant instead of European concepts, I started to study what was Oriental art, what was Indian art which revealed to me as a colossal civilization. ** [[S. H. Raza]] (15:29 - 29:13) * ...the Baroda school became a very important influence in the whole development of modern Indian art. ** Neville Tuli (16:49 - 16:55) * Baroda (school) visualized a new artist, that is an artist who is not only a studio bound, but an artist who is a...modern new citizen of India of a free nation. Hence the pioneers of the school decided that besides the studio training...of painting, sculpture, print making etc., they would also get a good grounding in art history, in languages, in aesthetics etc., and hence it is a very different kind of artist they visualized. ** Gulmohammed Sheikh (16:57 - 17:32) * This link between the artists finding their own originality and finding their own Indianness was always a dominant theme which was in a large extent linked to India finding herself also as a nation after independence. ** Neville Tuli (18:02 - 18:19) * Believe me, twenty years back when I discovered Bindu and the potentials in the seed, the energy, the shakti, that it revealed, it has changed my work, it has changed my work, it has changed my life. Since 1982, I believe my work has a different sense, a different meaning, a different quality. ** S. H. Raza (20:02 - 20:27) ==The Hindu, a leading Daily in India== * The efforts of the Bengal School of art were to revive the Indian language in art. They tried to study Indian miniature art, Ajanta paintings and so on, and imbibe those elements into contemporary paintings. It was very similar to neoclassicism in 19th century France when French artists tried to revive the Greek and Roman classical idiom during Napolean’s reign ** Dr. Deepak Kannal to The Hindu, with Shilpa Elizbeth for the column [https://www.thehindu.com/news/cities/bangalore/revisiting-haripura-panels-and-the-vivid-brush-strokes-of-indian-history/article68604664.ece Revisiting Haripura Panels and the vivid brush strokes of Indian history]. * It was an outcome of a pan-Indian and a retrospective understanding of visual arts. Nanda Babu not only borrowed from Ajanta, Mughal or Rajasthani paintings, but he tried to understand Indian art and its language in retrospective and introduce that language in these Haripura panels. ** Dr. Deepak Kannal * I really admire that he has formulated this idiom very carefully. He has borrowed from so many sources, and unless you are conversant with these traditions deeply, you will not notice that. The amalgam is so beautiful ** Dr. Deepak Kannal * I think he borrows profusely from the classical tradition too. That is why it is a retrospective and pan-Indian understanding of Indian art. He chooses from every corner of the country and every period of history. He borrows from Ajanta, manuscript paintings of Rajasthan, and profusely from Jain paintings ** Dr. Deepak Kannal * In many of the Haripura panels, the idea is borrowed from the Company School and the idiom from the Traditional School ** Dr. Deepak Kannal ==External links== {{wikipedia}} [[Category:Art]] [[Category:India]] g2rwwu53tzj2tktrydhwh6dkahoc0e1 3942074 3942072 2026-05-17T14:38:46Z Veera.sj 156205 /* Quotes about */ ** Ranjith Hoskote (21:52 - 22:21) 3942074 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Modern Indian painting|Modern Indian painting]]''' is a reactive style of painting to the Western Influence on Indian Painting. {{art-stub}} == Quotes about == * I think after the colonial encounter there is clearly a rupture in that continuity. And I think its the consequences of that rupture that Indian artists had to tackle and work around in the last hundred years. ** [[Ranjit Hoskote]], (03:20 - 03:36), in the documentary ''Development of the Modern Idiom Part -I'', in the series '''The Paintings of India''' telecasted by Doordarshan, the Public Broadcasting Service of India {{Cite web|url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pnjt34Mpr6A&list=PLPahQu0Yh9xDgnKMM1wq7hP9J7xULD4vP&index=4|title=The Paintings of India - Development of the Modern Idiom Part -I|last=National|first=Doordarshan|date=16 July 2014|website=youtube.com|url-status=live|access-date=10 May 2026}} * There was this wonderful balance between the social needs of the painting as well as individual expressions this wonderful balance I think got disrupted ever since the colonial period where old ateliers were broken but the new forms tha came into being did not have a historical past. So willy-nilly the individual painter was in a limbo. One the one hand he didn't have a system by which to formulate his ideas and his forms and on the other hand as an individual as though he felt a strong need to express himself at the same time he was uprooted because there wasn't a past or a tradition to go by. ** Yashodhara Dalmia (03:36 - 04:31) * One normally begins the story of modern Indian art with the history of Abanindranath Tagore and the movement he began which later came to be called the Bengal school but I think there's a case for also looking back further, you know, further backwards say to the middle years of the nineteenth century to the beginnings say of the first art schools in India because I think a new social and professional category of art and artists is really born in that period, so what I think is important to also take into consideration that there is a new group of middle class professional artists very different from earlier craftsmen and artisans who come into the picture and who initially are really practitioners of oil painting a certain kind of academic realism, but who do command the scene of that period and of course one has in mind a figure like Raja Ravi Varma in the South, who does become a figure of national importance. What is equally important to remember that many of these first academic western-style artist so to quote are equally involved trying to build a category which they consider is a national art for modern India so they're interested in working on Indian themes specifically cultivating a new kind of tasteful art among an Indian art public. ** Tapati Guha Thakurta (06:35 - 08:03) * Well, essentially Ravi Varma's importance came from using the Western Academic style and bringing in the Indian theme rooted in its myth, in his mythology its religious aspects its sense of color, its sense of dress, sense of ritual, stories from the [[Ramayana]], from [[Mahabharata]], from other kind of stories of which already had a root in the Indian ethos, but the style was totally alien. ** Neville Tuli (08:41 - 9:10) * He is working within a colonial period, he is also trying to make his own place within the colonial regime. He is not in actual fact a victim or a servant of that context. He is actually making major transformations through a new medium that he has learned of his own will and through a degree of symbiosis with what he understands European painting to be but which he has intelligence and the skill to be able to make into an idiom appropriate to the late 19th century where major historical changes are taking place. ** Geeta Kapur (09:50 - 10:31) * In reaction to [[Raja Ravi Varma|Ravi Varma]], and the kind of school that he propagated the Bengal School or as the people would say that which was started by Abanindranath Tagore, [[Ananda Coomaraswamy|Coomaraswamy]], Havel together in which they went back to the Indian miniatures, Mughal Miniatures, Pahari Miniatures to [[Ajanta Caves|Ajantha]] taking the inspiration from Indian traditional art and deriving a new style which again had the myth and religious as the substance of the painting but the use of a line, a different use of color, a different sense of perspective which against Ravi Varma. ** Neville Tuli (11:25 - 12:11) * There isn't a way in which the new art movement completely rejects this academic past and purely labels it as something derivative, colonial and something which is not of any aesthetic merit. What Abanindranath and his first phase of students were trying to do was to really rebuild a new nationalist art. But still largely concerned with ways in which to break out of the Western academic mode and build what they considered an idealistic spiritual art. With Abanindranath movement there is an equal emphasis on building an artistic collective. Because he does want to build a school he feels that the project of a new national art cannot be achieved by a single person. It requires a whole movement, it requires a following. I think that becomes a kind of paradox that the success of the movement relied so much on the dissemination of a certain stereotype of what was then (kind of) highly (kind of) applauded as this is true Indian art. But that also becomes the main weakness of the movement, that it becomes repititive, it becomes very formulaic. And in the later history of modern Indian art we find that those we consider the new modern masters would consciously break away from the collective. ** Tapati Guha Thakurta (13:28 - 28:43) * When the Kalabhavan is set up in 1920, it does reprsent a major break within the nationalist art movement. In fact its [[Rabindranath Tagore|Rabindranath]]'s own dissatisfaction with the very closeted and haute hause's nature of Indian style painting as it came up in the Joresaco household which propels him to set up this new art center. And its prime concern is to reintegrate art with nature, with everyday life, and particularly as he says '''with living folk and rural traditions'''. And I think that does signal a major shift within the modern art movement where Indian art moves away from its ancient, classical, sources. Or purely away from its medieval courtly traditions. And begins to look at art at a more everyday level so this is the living tradition around them. By the time we come to the 20s I think there is less talk about transcendentalism and idealism and more talk about invigorating Indian art, bringing (it you know) the spirit of India and the living India was really village India which they discovered around. ** Tapati Guha Thakurta (15:42 - 28:43) * One offshoot of the Bengal school to some extent was Nandalal Bose, one of the finest artists of the modern India, who first started as as student of Abanindranath Tagore and when Rabindranath asked him to join him at Shantiniketan, a whole new openness of views came to him where the countryside, the rural daily life of the artist and the crass person became a more natural inspiration along with the nature. ** Neville Tuli (17:55 - 18:24) * I think Nandalal is really at the forefront of this attempt to reintegrate a modern artist's sensibility with these folk traditions. And I think one major point of this merger comes about in the 30s when he is called on by Gandhi to decorate the panels of the Haripura Congress. This is in 1938. Nandalal's Haripura Congress Posters, they do represent a time when the modern artist is able to fully impersonate a folkstyle. And its extremely important because he is using the most simple of material. He is using a series of characters which are drawn from everday village life. Village musicians, trades and castes, village Gods, and he's using the style of Odisha Pattochitra. And together he packages it in a way that it was still unmistakably the hand of Nandalal Bose. But it represents now a new modern art which can signify the people's traditions. ** Tapati Guha Thakurta (18:25 - 28:43) * Jamini Roy's importance is pivotal in the sense he was probably one of the first modern Indian artists who decided to go back to the folk and tribal traditions of Indian art, used the color and the line, use of (let's say) the Kalighats or even the folk traditions to evolve an idiom totally his own and this was best represented by eventually his work of the 1940s in which he took even a theme so alien as "study of the Bible" or themes based on Christianity to which he did not feel a natural emotional empathy, but he realized that if his style could represent themes of such nature, he had truely developed a new style. ** Neville Tuli (19:55 - 20:42) * Along with Jamini Roy, there was Gaganendranath Tagore who to some extent was an individualistic artist. A man who followed no group, no school, no movement, a true connoiseur of the arts and a man who genuinely supported and nurtured many artists. Gaganendranath in many ways started a look into the West as a source of inspiration to some extent in the 1920s, him along with Rabindranath Tagore, to go abroad, the German Expressionists, very large exhibition of wood cuts, and that inspired many to look at [[cubism]] which was a very important movement at that time, but to India, it has not come so early. ** Neville Tuli (20:42 - 21:31) * By the early 1940s, a whole new interest in European modernism had emerged and a pivotal player in that whole process was [[Amrita Sher-Gil]]. Being open to the West, she brought in a kind of post-Impressionist sense of color, form which was very new for India. And in the late 1930s, she became quite an icon figure and inspired many artists to study the use of color and given structure to Indian modern art. ** Neville Tuli (22:06 - 22:48) * She (Amrita Sher-Gil) had seen the Indian people from the point of view of an outsider who wanted to become an insider. ** [[Mulk Raj Anand]] (22:50 - 23:03) * Ajantha is part of her (Amrita Sher-Gil's) itenarary when she goes visits them, she visits the south Indian temples, the mural paintings, and for her its a whole new rediscovery. She is coming out of an academic training and a modernist background, and she's out to rediscover a new Indian lineage. And Ajantha to her becomes a symbol of a grandeur on the greatness of India's artistic past against what she considered the mediocrity of the present. Nothing she saw around her inspired her as much as some of these great traditions, either miniatures or Ajantha would. And there is a distinct way which tries to again work out her own visual codes. Drawing on the colors, the stylyzations, the physiognomy of the Ajantha figures. And I think in the late thirties this represents another very critical moment when Ajantha becomes very central in defining a lineage for the modern Indian artists. ** Tapati Guha Thakurta (23:17 - 24:20) * I am an individualist, evolving a new technique, which though not necessarily Indian in the traditional sense of the word, will yet be fundamentally Indian in spirit. With the eternal significance of form and color, I interpret India and principally the life of the Indian poor on the plane that transcends that of mere sentimental interest. ** Amrita Sher-Gil (24:23 - 25:03) * She was already in Paris, connected with a view that could be called a kind of new humanism, realism that developed between the two world wars. And coming with that kind of view she encountered India with a boasted element of a kind of nostalgia because she had lived here before of trying to represent the people. ** Vivan Sundaram (25:03 - 25:38) * So in a sense there was a social contract among patrons, artists and viewers. And this social contract of understanding if you like has broken down. And I think that its the consequences of this breakdown that really inform Indian art from 1947 to the present. ** [[Ranjit Hoskote]], (04:10 - 04:30), in the documentary ''Development of the Modern Idiom Part -II'', in the series '''The Paintings of India''' telecasted by Doordarshan, the Public Broadcasting Service of India {{Cite web|url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voQnMRaAMHE&list=PLUiMfS6qzIMywfcZB9u9T77GjZQeoFdrB&index=9|title=The Paintings of India - Development of the Modern Idiom Part -II|last=National|first=Doordarshan|website=youtube.com|url-status=live|access-date=13 May 2026}} * The Progressive Artist Group was established which has been given a lot of attentoin and critical acclaim...and six of them...tried to break out from the established orthodoxies prevailing in Bombay at that time. ** Neville Tuli (05:37 - 06:10) * It started with the independence and the freedom movement. There was a completely new new world. ** Geeti Sen (06:11 - 06:21) * We could move mountains. We were in the process of becoming ourselves. ** [[S. H. Raza]] (06:32 - 06:38) * Both the Calcutta Group...and the Progressive Artists are important because the ushered in [[Modernism]]. This is around the 40s when international modernism itself was being mediated to them through the war emigrees, and then there were books and prints that were coming into the country as well as their own encounters with artists in the west. So they were being exposed to international Modernism and on the other hand because this was a period of gaining independence slowly they were beginning to reinvent their past by which they had to understand and delve into historical and cultural past. And make sense out of it in the present period. ** Yashodhara Dalmia (06:39 - 07:47) * I saw all the Indian works and then felt that I should paint something else. After visiting the exhibition, I combined three periods. The form of the Guptha period, the strong colors of the Basohli perioda and the innocence of folk art. ** M. F. Husain (08:03 - 08:29) * Husain, obviously, legend, a man who has energy which is unmatched by most of the artists...his style becomes something which is easily recognizable by anyone and that's the hallmark always of a great artist. ** Neville Tuli (08:48 - 09:06) * Raza, Gade both brilliant colourists. Raza sustaning the journey far, deeper, evolving different idioms, different styles over the last 40 years...Each of them represented different styles different ways by which they imbibe the Indian traditional art. They expose themselves and share the western academic schools. Especially the influence of Paris ** Neville Tuli (09:07 - 09:40) * ...their importance as we know lay precisely in being able to put together a medlely of cultures and events and form a cohesive modern idiom which was to influence Indian art in the decades to come ** Yashodara Dalmia (09:41 - 10:01) * Husain needs no introduction of course. But as much as one admires his vitality, his energy, his capacity to invent and reinvent art, he would be importan also because he was thinking historically about art. He was thinking about the direction it had to take, the way in which it could become Indian as well as international. In those early years in the 40s and early 50s, he was making some of his most significant paintings. ** Yashodara Dalmia (10:02 - 10:42) * There is no way of making an aged art young again. It must be born a new, and grow up from infancy as a new thing, working out its own salvation from effort, in all fear and trembling. ** F. N. Souza 11:10 - 11:26 in his manifesto for Progressive Artists Group, [[Bombay]] * I think the traditional concept of beauty has had a great deal to do with the imperative of harmony... bringing about of harmony between or accord between the viewer, what is perceived and the essence of that experience. And somehow with the onset of the modernity it appears that the possibilities of harmony become diminished in someway...what the art experience would aim at is not necessarily the savoring of beauty but possibly the recognition of terror. So rather than the beautiful, I think the states of being that come into play now are much more those of the grotesque. And a great deal of contemporary Indian art is really addressed towards these states. And I can't help but think that this is one of the inevitable outcomes of what you might call the experience of modernity, which is one of fragmentation, of alienation, and of general breakdown of what traiditionally would be seen as harmonic systems of being. ** Ranjit Hosakote (12:28 - 13:54) * Today, all over the world and in India, there are lot of tensions. There is lot of not only disparity, but lot of turmoil, lot of friction, lack of grace. And the innocence is lost in the world today. ** Jatin Das (13:55 - 14:14) * ...in certain periods, there is almost no option for art but to take on the horror of reality and to address it. And this cannot be addressed as art goes through the process of representing the horror and dealing with it in someway. ** Ranjith Hoskote (14:15 - 14:39) * After 25 years of work, I was not satisfied. I looked at my own paintings and I told myself, "Raza, you are not there! This is [[French]] Contemporary Art. There are hundreds of paintings doing this." And I went into introspect. Serious thinking was necessary. It was an inner journey which meant instead of European concepts, I started to study what was Oriental art, what was Indian art which revealed to me as a colossal civilization. ** [[S. H. Raza]] (15:29 - 29:13) * ...the Baroda school became a very important influence in the whole development of modern Indian art. ** Neville Tuli (16:49 - 16:55) * Baroda (school) visualized a new artist, that is an artist who is not only a studio bound, but an artist who is a...modern new citizen of India of a free nation. Hence the pioneers of the school decided that besides the studio training...of painting, sculpture, print making etc., they would also get a good grounding in art history, in languages, in aesthetics etc., and hence it is a very different kind of artist they visualized. ** Gulmohammed Sheikh (16:57 - 17:32) * This link between the artists finding their own originality and finding their own Indianness was always a dominant theme which was in a large extent linked to India finding herself also as a nation after independence. ** Neville Tuli (18:02 - 18:19) * Believe me, twenty years back when I discovered Bindu and the potentials in the seed, the energy, the shakti, that it revealed, it has changed my work, it has changed my work, it has changed my life. Since 1982, I believe my work has a different sense, a different meaning, a different quality. ** S. H. Raza (20:02 - 20:27) * What the ancient or medieval Indian artist would have done is to affirm a life-giving worldview that was shared by society at large. But since we've lost that life-giving worlf views, since we don't have that coherent image of society in the cosmos, the artist's role changes completely from an affirmative one to a critical one. But in a way still what the artist is doing is still the same thing which is to remind people of their own creativity, their own freedom, their own dignity. ** Ranjith Hoskote (21:02 - 21:37) * If one is to give the serious difference between the art of the past and the modern contemporary art, obviously it is in the nature of this joy and the role of this joy in the creative process. ** Neville Tuli (21:38 - 21:51) * Images of the past hold out a very different kind of promise...what they stand for is hope...the self balancing properties of the society. But when you live in a society, that now no longer has this kind of image of coherence, it is very difficult for the art that is produced in that soceity to offer such images ** Ranjith Hoskote (21:52 - 22:21) ==The Hindu, a leading Daily in India== * The efforts of the Bengal School of art were to revive the Indian language in art. They tried to study Indian miniature art, Ajanta paintings and so on, and imbibe those elements into contemporary paintings. It was very similar to neoclassicism in 19th century France when French artists tried to revive the Greek and Roman classical idiom during Napolean’s reign ** Dr. Deepak Kannal to The Hindu, with Shilpa Elizbeth for the column [https://www.thehindu.com/news/cities/bangalore/revisiting-haripura-panels-and-the-vivid-brush-strokes-of-indian-history/article68604664.ece Revisiting Haripura Panels and the vivid brush strokes of Indian history]. * It was an outcome of a pan-Indian and a retrospective understanding of visual arts. Nanda Babu not only borrowed from Ajanta, Mughal or Rajasthani paintings, but he tried to understand Indian art and its language in retrospective and introduce that language in these Haripura panels. ** Dr. Deepak Kannal * I really admire that he has formulated this idiom very carefully. He has borrowed from so many sources, and unless you are conversant with these traditions deeply, you will not notice that. The amalgam is so beautiful ** Dr. Deepak Kannal * I think he borrows profusely from the classical tradition too. That is why it is a retrospective and pan-Indian understanding of Indian art. He chooses from every corner of the country and every period of history. He borrows from Ajanta, manuscript paintings of Rajasthan, and profusely from Jain paintings ** Dr. Deepak Kannal * In many of the Haripura panels, the idea is borrowed from the Company School and the idiom from the Traditional School ** Dr. Deepak Kannal ==External links== {{wikipedia}} [[Category:Art]] [[Category:India]] aehkpw3uf8inbd61lzlshgb326jqvca 3942077 3942074 2026-05-17T14:44:30Z Veera.sj 156205 /* Quotes about */ ** K. G. Subramanyam (22:37 - 29:14) 3942077 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Modern Indian painting|Modern Indian painting]]''' is a reactive style of painting to the Western Influence on Indian Painting. {{art-stub}} == Quotes about == * I think after the colonial encounter there is clearly a rupture in that continuity. And I think its the consequences of that rupture that Indian artists had to tackle and work around in the last hundred years. ** [[Ranjit Hoskote]], (03:20 - 03:36), in the documentary ''Development of the Modern Idiom Part -I'', in the series '''The Paintings of India''' telecasted by Doordarshan, the Public Broadcasting Service of India {{Cite web|url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pnjt34Mpr6A&list=PLPahQu0Yh9xDgnKMM1wq7hP9J7xULD4vP&index=4|title=The Paintings of India - Development of the Modern Idiom Part -I|last=National|first=Doordarshan|date=16 July 2014|website=youtube.com|url-status=live|access-date=10 May 2026}} * There was this wonderful balance between the social needs of the painting as well as individual expressions this wonderful balance I think got disrupted ever since the colonial period where old ateliers were broken but the new forms tha came into being did not have a historical past. So willy-nilly the individual painter was in a limbo. One the one hand he didn't have a system by which to formulate his ideas and his forms and on the other hand as an individual as though he felt a strong need to express himself at the same time he was uprooted because there wasn't a past or a tradition to go by. ** Yashodhara Dalmia (03:36 - 04:31) * One normally begins the story of modern Indian art with the history of Abanindranath Tagore and the movement he began which later came to be called the Bengal school but I think there's a case for also looking back further, you know, further backwards say to the middle years of the nineteenth century to the beginnings say of the first art schools in India because I think a new social and professional category of art and artists is really born in that period, so what I think is important to also take into consideration that there is a new group of middle class professional artists very different from earlier craftsmen and artisans who come into the picture and who initially are really practitioners of oil painting a certain kind of academic realism, but who do command the scene of that period and of course one has in mind a figure like Raja Ravi Varma in the South, who does become a figure of national importance. What is equally important to remember that many of these first academic western-style artist so to quote are equally involved trying to build a category which they consider is a national art for modern India so they're interested in working on Indian themes specifically cultivating a new kind of tasteful art among an Indian art public. ** Tapati Guha Thakurta (06:35 - 08:03) * Well, essentially Ravi Varma's importance came from using the Western Academic style and bringing in the Indian theme rooted in its myth, in his mythology its religious aspects its sense of color, its sense of dress, sense of ritual, stories from the [[Ramayana]], from [[Mahabharata]], from other kind of stories of which already had a root in the Indian ethos, but the style was totally alien. ** Neville Tuli (08:41 - 9:10) * He is working within a colonial period, he is also trying to make his own place within the colonial regime. He is not in actual fact a victim or a servant of that context. He is actually making major transformations through a new medium that he has learned of his own will and through a degree of symbiosis with what he understands European painting to be but which he has intelligence and the skill to be able to make into an idiom appropriate to the late 19th century where major historical changes are taking place. ** Geeta Kapur (09:50 - 10:31) * In reaction to [[Raja Ravi Varma|Ravi Varma]], and the kind of school that he propagated the Bengal School or as the people would say that which was started by Abanindranath Tagore, [[Ananda Coomaraswamy|Coomaraswamy]], Havel together in which they went back to the Indian miniatures, Mughal Miniatures, Pahari Miniatures to [[Ajanta Caves|Ajantha]] taking the inspiration from Indian traditional art and deriving a new style which again had the myth and religious as the substance of the painting but the use of a line, a different use of color, a different sense of perspective which against Ravi Varma. ** Neville Tuli (11:25 - 12:11) * There isn't a way in which the new art movement completely rejects this academic past and purely labels it as something derivative, colonial and something which is not of any aesthetic merit. What Abanindranath and his first phase of students were trying to do was to really rebuild a new nationalist art. But still largely concerned with ways in which to break out of the Western academic mode and build what they considered an idealistic spiritual art. With Abanindranath movement there is an equal emphasis on building an artistic collective. Because he does want to build a school he feels that the project of a new national art cannot be achieved by a single person. It requires a whole movement, it requires a following. I think that becomes a kind of paradox that the success of the movement relied so much on the dissemination of a certain stereotype of what was then (kind of) highly (kind of) applauded as this is true Indian art. But that also becomes the main weakness of the movement, that it becomes repititive, it becomes very formulaic. And in the later history of modern Indian art we find that those we consider the new modern masters would consciously break away from the collective. ** Tapati Guha Thakurta (13:28 - 28:43) * When the Kalabhavan is set up in 1920, it does reprsent a major break within the nationalist art movement. In fact its [[Rabindranath Tagore|Rabindranath]]'s own dissatisfaction with the very closeted and haute hause's nature of Indian style painting as it came up in the Joresaco household which propels him to set up this new art center. And its prime concern is to reintegrate art with nature, with everyday life, and particularly as he says '''with living folk and rural traditions'''. And I think that does signal a major shift within the modern art movement where Indian art moves away from its ancient, classical, sources. Or purely away from its medieval courtly traditions. And begins to look at art at a more everyday level so this is the living tradition around them. By the time we come to the 20s I think there is less talk about transcendentalism and idealism and more talk about invigorating Indian art, bringing (it you know) the spirit of India and the living India was really village India which they discovered around. ** Tapati Guha Thakurta (15:42 - 28:43) * One offshoot of the Bengal school to some extent was Nandalal Bose, one of the finest artists of the modern India, who first started as as student of Abanindranath Tagore and when Rabindranath asked him to join him at Shantiniketan, a whole new openness of views came to him where the countryside, the rural daily life of the artist and the crass person became a more natural inspiration along with the nature. ** Neville Tuli (17:55 - 18:24) * I think Nandalal is really at the forefront of this attempt to reintegrate a modern artist's sensibility with these folk traditions. And I think one major point of this merger comes about in the 30s when he is called on by Gandhi to decorate the panels of the Haripura Congress. This is in 1938. Nandalal's Haripura Congress Posters, they do represent a time when the modern artist is able to fully impersonate a folkstyle. And its extremely important because he is using the most simple of material. He is using a series of characters which are drawn from everday village life. Village musicians, trades and castes, village Gods, and he's using the style of Odisha Pattochitra. And together he packages it in a way that it was still unmistakably the hand of Nandalal Bose. But it represents now a new modern art which can signify the people's traditions. ** Tapati Guha Thakurta (18:25 - 28:43) * Jamini Roy's importance is pivotal in the sense he was probably one of the first modern Indian artists who decided to go back to the folk and tribal traditions of Indian art, used the color and the line, use of (let's say) the Kalighats or even the folk traditions to evolve an idiom totally his own and this was best represented by eventually his work of the 1940s in which he took even a theme so alien as "study of the Bible" or themes based on Christianity to which he did not feel a natural emotional empathy, but he realized that if his style could represent themes of such nature, he had truely developed a new style. ** Neville Tuli (19:55 - 20:42) * Along with Jamini Roy, there was Gaganendranath Tagore who to some extent was an individualistic artist. A man who followed no group, no school, no movement, a true connoiseur of the arts and a man who genuinely supported and nurtured many artists. Gaganendranath in many ways started a look into the West as a source of inspiration to some extent in the 1920s, him along with Rabindranath Tagore, to go abroad, the German Expressionists, very large exhibition of wood cuts, and that inspired many to look at [[cubism]] which was a very important movement at that time, but to India, it has not come so early. ** Neville Tuli (20:42 - 21:31) * By the early 1940s, a whole new interest in European modernism had emerged and a pivotal player in that whole process was [[Amrita Sher-Gil]]. Being open to the West, she brought in a kind of post-Impressionist sense of color, form which was very new for India. And in the late 1930s, she became quite an icon figure and inspired many artists to study the use of color and given structure to Indian modern art. ** Neville Tuli (22:06 - 22:48) * She (Amrita Sher-Gil) had seen the Indian people from the point of view of an outsider who wanted to become an insider. ** [[Mulk Raj Anand]] (22:50 - 23:03) * Ajantha is part of her (Amrita Sher-Gil's) itenarary when she goes visits them, she visits the south Indian temples, the mural paintings, and for her its a whole new rediscovery. She is coming out of an academic training and a modernist background, and she's out to rediscover a new Indian lineage. And Ajantha to her becomes a symbol of a grandeur on the greatness of India's artistic past against what she considered the mediocrity of the present. Nothing she saw around her inspired her as much as some of these great traditions, either miniatures or Ajantha would. And there is a distinct way which tries to again work out her own visual codes. Drawing on the colors, the stylyzations, the physiognomy of the Ajantha figures. And I think in the late thirties this represents another very critical moment when Ajantha becomes very central in defining a lineage for the modern Indian artists. ** Tapati Guha Thakurta (23:17 - 24:20) * I am an individualist, evolving a new technique, which though not necessarily Indian in the traditional sense of the word, will yet be fundamentally Indian in spirit. With the eternal significance of form and color, I interpret India and principally the life of the Indian poor on the plane that transcends that of mere sentimental interest. ** Amrita Sher-Gil (24:23 - 25:03) * She was already in Paris, connected with a view that could be called a kind of new humanism, realism that developed between the two world wars. And coming with that kind of view she encountered India with a boasted element of a kind of nostalgia because she had lived here before of trying to represent the people. ** Vivan Sundaram (25:03 - 25:38) * So in a sense there was a social contract among patrons, artists and viewers. And this social contract of understanding if you like has broken down. And I think that its the consequences of this breakdown that really inform Indian art from 1947 to the present. ** [[Ranjit Hoskote]], (04:10 - 04:30), in the documentary ''Development of the Modern Idiom Part -II'', in the series '''The Paintings of India''' telecasted by Doordarshan, the Public Broadcasting Service of India {{Cite web|url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voQnMRaAMHE&list=PLUiMfS6qzIMywfcZB9u9T77GjZQeoFdrB&index=9|title=The Paintings of India - Development of the Modern Idiom Part -II|last=National|first=Doordarshan|website=youtube.com|url-status=live|access-date=13 May 2026}} * The Progressive Artist Group was established which has been given a lot of attentoin and critical acclaim...and six of them...tried to break out from the established orthodoxies prevailing in Bombay at that time. ** Neville Tuli (05:37 - 06:10) * It started with the independence and the freedom movement. There was a completely new new world. ** Geeti Sen (06:11 - 06:21) * We could move mountains. We were in the process of becoming ourselves. ** [[S. H. Raza]] (06:32 - 06:38) * Both the Calcutta Group...and the Progressive Artists are important because the ushered in [[Modernism]]. This is around the 40s when international modernism itself was being mediated to them through the war emigrees, and then there were books and prints that were coming into the country as well as their own encounters with artists in the west. So they were being exposed to international Modernism and on the other hand because this was a period of gaining independence slowly they were beginning to reinvent their past by which they had to understand and delve into historical and cultural past. And make sense out of it in the present period. ** Yashodhara Dalmia (06:39 - 07:47) * I saw all the Indian works and then felt that I should paint something else. After visiting the exhibition, I combined three periods. The form of the Guptha period, the strong colors of the Basohli perioda and the innocence of folk art. ** M. F. Husain (08:03 - 08:29) * Husain, obviously, legend, a man who has energy which is unmatched by most of the artists...his style becomes something which is easily recognizable by anyone and that's the hallmark always of a great artist. ** Neville Tuli (08:48 - 09:06) * Raza, Gade both brilliant colourists. Raza sustaning the journey far, deeper, evolving different idioms, different styles over the last 40 years...Each of them represented different styles different ways by which they imbibe the Indian traditional art. They expose themselves and share the western academic schools. Especially the influence of Paris ** Neville Tuli (09:07 - 09:40) * ...their importance as we know lay precisely in being able to put together a medlely of cultures and events and form a cohesive modern idiom which was to influence Indian art in the decades to come ** Yashodara Dalmia (09:41 - 10:01) * Husain needs no introduction of course. But as much as one admires his vitality, his energy, his capacity to invent and reinvent art, he would be importan also because he was thinking historically about art. He was thinking about the direction it had to take, the way in which it could become Indian as well as international. In those early years in the 40s and early 50s, he was making some of his most significant paintings. ** Yashodara Dalmia (10:02 - 10:42) * There is no way of making an aged art young again. It must be born a new, and grow up from infancy as a new thing, working out its own salvation from effort, in all fear and trembling. ** F. N. Souza 11:10 - 11:26 in his manifesto for Progressive Artists Group, [[Bombay]] * I think the traditional concept of beauty has had a great deal to do with the imperative of harmony... bringing about of harmony between or accord between the viewer, what is perceived and the essence of that experience. And somehow with the onset of the modernity it appears that the possibilities of harmony become diminished in someway...what the art experience would aim at is not necessarily the savoring of beauty but possibly the recognition of terror. So rather than the beautiful, I think the states of being that come into play now are much more those of the grotesque. And a great deal of contemporary Indian art is really addressed towards these states. And I can't help but think that this is one of the inevitable outcomes of what you might call the experience of modernity, which is one of fragmentation, of alienation, and of general breakdown of what traiditionally would be seen as harmonic systems of being. ** Ranjit Hosakote (12:28 - 13:54) * Today, all over the world and in India, there are lot of tensions. There is lot of not only disparity, but lot of turmoil, lot of friction, lack of grace. And the innocence is lost in the world today. ** Jatin Das (13:55 - 14:14) * ...in certain periods, there is almost no option for art but to take on the horror of reality and to address it. And this cannot be addressed as art goes through the process of representing the horror and dealing with it in someway. ** Ranjith Hoskote (14:15 - 14:39) * After 25 years of work, I was not satisfied. I looked at my own paintings and I told myself, "Raza, you are not there! This is [[French]] Contemporary Art. There are hundreds of paintings doing this." And I went into introspect. Serious thinking was necessary. It was an inner journey which meant instead of European concepts, I started to study what was Oriental art, what was Indian art which revealed to me as a colossal civilization. ** [[S. H. Raza]] (15:29 - 29:13) * ...the Baroda school became a very important influence in the whole development of modern Indian art. ** Neville Tuli (16:49 - 16:55) * Baroda (school) visualized a new artist, that is an artist who is not only a studio bound, but an artist who is a...modern new citizen of India of a free nation. Hence the pioneers of the school decided that besides the studio training...of painting, sculpture, print making etc., they would also get a good grounding in art history, in languages, in aesthetics etc., and hence it is a very different kind of artist they visualized. ** Gulmohammed Sheikh (16:57 - 17:32) * This link between the artists finding their own originality and finding their own Indianness was always a dominant theme which was in a large extent linked to India finding herself also as a nation after independence. ** Neville Tuli (18:02 - 18:19) * Believe me, twenty years back when I discovered Bindu and the potentials in the seed, the energy, the shakti, that it revealed, it has changed my work, it has changed my work, it has changed my life. Since 1982, I believe my work has a different sense, a different meaning, a different quality. ** S. H. Raza (20:02 - 20:27) * What the ancient or medieval Indian artist would have done is to affirm a life-giving worldview that was shared by society at large. But since we've lost that life-giving worlf views, since we don't have that coherent image of society in the cosmos, the artist's role changes completely from an affirmative one to a critical one. But in a way still what the artist is doing is still the same thing which is to remind people of their own creativity, their own freedom, their own dignity. ** Ranjith Hoskote (21:02 - 21:37) * If one is to give the serious difference between the art of the past and the modern contemporary art, obviously it is in the nature of this joy and the role of this joy in the creative process. ** Neville Tuli (21:38 - 21:51) * Images of the past hold out a very different kind of promise...what they stand for is hope...the self balancing properties of the society. But when you live in a society, that now no longer has this kind of image of coherence, it is very difficult for the art that is produced in that soceity to offer such images ** Ranjith Hoskote (21:52 - 22:21) * Universal is the external observer who is seeing them. So people talk about universal language: Art has a universal language. But then, as far as the practitioner goes, there is no universal language. It is a personal language. There are some people who are sold out to this idea, well, we are one world kind of a thing. There might be people like me who belong to smaller units of place. ** K. G. Subramanyam (22:37 - 29:14) ==The Hindu, a leading Daily in India== * The efforts of the Bengal School of art were to revive the Indian language in art. They tried to study Indian miniature art, Ajanta paintings and so on, and imbibe those elements into contemporary paintings. It was very similar to neoclassicism in 19th century France when French artists tried to revive the Greek and Roman classical idiom during Napolean’s reign ** Dr. Deepak Kannal to The Hindu, with Shilpa Elizbeth for the column [https://www.thehindu.com/news/cities/bangalore/revisiting-haripura-panels-and-the-vivid-brush-strokes-of-indian-history/article68604664.ece Revisiting Haripura Panels and the vivid brush strokes of Indian history]. * It was an outcome of a pan-Indian and a retrospective understanding of visual arts. Nanda Babu not only borrowed from Ajanta, Mughal or Rajasthani paintings, but he tried to understand Indian art and its language in retrospective and introduce that language in these Haripura panels. ** Dr. Deepak Kannal * I really admire that he has formulated this idiom very carefully. He has borrowed from so many sources, and unless you are conversant with these traditions deeply, you will not notice that. The amalgam is so beautiful ** Dr. Deepak Kannal * I think he borrows profusely from the classical tradition too. That is why it is a retrospective and pan-Indian understanding of Indian art. He chooses from every corner of the country and every period of history. He borrows from Ajanta, manuscript paintings of Rajasthan, and profusely from Jain paintings ** Dr. Deepak Kannal * In many of the Haripura panels, the idea is borrowed from the Company School and the idiom from the Traditional School ** Dr. Deepak Kannal ==External links== {{wikipedia}} [[Category:Art]] [[Category:India]] 0yw47ik2jmlykcki5j1jb08i7sbsdmx 0 307264 3942099 3940632 2026-05-17T17:33:05Z GrimRob 1187925 thumbnail 3942099 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:L'ultima missione - Project Hail Mary.png|thumb]] {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Project Hail Mary (film)|Project Hail Mary]]''''' is a [[w:2026 in film|2026 American science-fiction action film]], about middle school science teacher Ryland Grace (Ryan Gosling) who wakes up on a spaceship light-years from home with no recollection of who he is or how he got there. As his memory returns, he begins to uncover his mission: to solve the riddle of the mysterious substance that is causing the sun to die out. He must call on his scientific knowledge and unorthodox ideas to save everything on Earth from extinction... but an unexpected friendship means he may not have to do it alone. :''Directed by [[w:Phil Lord|Phil Lord]] and [[w:Christopher Miller|Christopher Miller]] and screenplay adapted by [[w:Drew Goddard|Drew Goddard]], based on [[w:Andy Weir|Andy Weir]]'s [[w:Project Hail Mary|2021 novel of the same name]].'' {{center|'''Believe in the Hail Mary.'''}} ==Ryland Grace== * [''In video recording''] * Rocky's growing on me! At least he's not growing ''IN'' me, which was a concern for a while... * I always wanted to be... mysterious. Talk too much. It's my problem. Like right now. * Rocky, my hand is up. We can't just show up in a space ball unannounced and move into someone else's spaceship. Right? There has to be boundaries. * There's nothing she can't do * [''Whispering to camera''] He tells me what to do, he tells me why to do it, he tells me how to do it, he tells me when to do it, and then when I do it, he's like, "what are you doing?" * [''Watches a new package being thrown from "Blip A" after the first one bounced off the Hail Mary's hull''] Why is it moving so much slower than the last one? [''Sighs and closes eyes''] They think I'm dumb. * Guys! This is first contact! With life! Outside of the, uh oh. Oh... it died. * Carl and I made a mini-Venus out of a plywood box and as soon as the samples recognized the, uh, spectral signature of CO2 they were... they were like "whoop, there it is!" * Wow! You're not gonna believe this. Nothing happened! * The astrophage consumes the sun's energy and then they expel it for propulsion. They toot to scoot, basically. * Okay buddy, I watch you sleep but you have to wake up. * Me and Carl became fathers ==Eva Stratt== * [''Looking at Ryland Grace while singing''] Remember, everything will be alright. We can meet again somewhere. Somewhere far away from here. And that is enough. * This might seem like me betraying you, but this is actually me believing in you. * You're smart. You'll figure it out. ==Rocky== * Rocky watch whole crew die. Could not fix. Grace say Grace will die. Rocky fix. * Amaze. Amaze. Amaze. * Fist my bump. * Rocky hate Mark. * Grumpy. Angry. Stupid. How long since last sleep, question? * Grace Rocky save stars * It is time go. * Time go fishing, question? ==Carl== * You know who you are. You're going to do great. ==Dialogue== :'''Ryland Grace''': I put the 'not' in astronaut! I've never done a space walk, I can't even moonwalk! I haven't done any training, I haven't done the whole... ..the pool thing! :'''Olesya Ilyukhina''': No, no, no. That is just we do for the picture, for social media. :'''Ryland Grace''': I'm not heroic in any way. I get sick on an elevator! :'''Yao''': Perfect. There's no elevator on the ship. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': You have a mate. How long you been together? :'''Rocky''': 186.3 years. :'''Ryland Grace''': It's like, the honeymoon phase. :'''Rocky''': No understand. :'''Ryland Grace''': That's a joke, Rock, it's a long time. You've been together a long time. :'''Rocky''': Is not enough. ---- :'''Rocky''': Words of encouragement. :'''Ryland Grace''': You can't just say "words of encouragement!" :'''Rocky''': Words of GREAT encouragement! ---- :'''Rocky''': We leave now, question? :'''Ryland Grace''': Leave now. Statement. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': Commander Yao, I really appreciate what you all are doing. :'''Yao''': I mean, you would do the same. :'''Ryland Grace''': I would choose just not to go at all. I don't have the bravery gene that you all have. :'''Yao''': Trust me. It's not a gene. You just need to find someone to be brave for. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': [''Whispering''] There's no way you can hear me right now. :'''Rocky''': Can hear. ---- :'''Rocky''': Dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty. Why room so messy, question? :'''Ryland Grace''': Well, I wasn't expecting company, was I? :'''Rocky''': This room for garbage? Ohh. ---- :'''Rocky''': How do you know when the hug is done? :'''Ryland Grace''': You just feel it. :'''Rocky''': Oh, are you feeling it now? :'''Ryland Grace''': Nope. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': We can't just show up in a spaceball unannounced and move into someone else's spaceship, right? There has to be boundaries. :'''Rocky''': Boundaries. :'''Ryland Grace''': We have one mission. :'''Rocky''': Mission. :'''Ryland Grace''': But we're two distinct individuals. :'''Rocky''': Individuals. :'''Ryland Grace''': Both working on our distinct, individual parts of that mission. :'''Rocky''': Mission. :'''Ryland Grac'''e: Separately. :'''Rocky''': Separately. :'''Ryland Grace''': Ok. :'''Rocky''': Where my bedroom? :'''Ryland Grace''': Bedroom? For what? ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': I need to get into orbit or we'll crash! :'''Rocky''': I have an idea. First, no crash. Then, no explode. Deal? :'''Ryland Grace''': [''Thumbs down''] Deal! ---- :'''Hardware Store Cashier''': Which government? :'''Carl''': All of them. ---- :'''Rocky: You are very brave. :'''Ryland Grace: I don't know about that. :'''Rocky''': You are bravest human I have ever met. :'''Ryland Grace''': Hey! :'''Rocky''': Is joke! :'''Ryland Grace''': I know. :'''Rocky''': I only meet one human. And it's you! :'''Ryland Grace''': I get it. :'''Rocky''': It's good joke. :'''Ryland Grace''': Good joke. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': It took, like, 200 years to figure out how bacteria works, so... :'''Eva Stratt''': Please do it faster. ---- :'''Eva Stratt''': The consensus here is that it would be preferable if you did not die. :'''Ryland Grace''': Thanks, guys. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': I'm gonna go to sleep. :'''Rocky''': Mm, no understand word. :'''Ryland Grace''': Sleep? Uh, just uh, you go like this. [''Lies down''] :'''Rocky''': [''Panicked''] D-d-died? Is died? Died? :'''Ryland Grace''': No... :'''Rocky''': No no no no no! :'''Ryland Grace''': Not died, just laying here for 29,000 seconds and then we... wake up. :'''Rocky''': Oh... understand. ---- :'''Eva Stratt''': Do you stand by what you wrote? :'''Ryland Grace''': I was fired for standing by what I wrote. :'''Eva Stratt''': You were fired for calling the leading scholar in your field a "staggering waste of carbon" at the UNESCO conference in Denmark. ---- :'''Rocky''': I thought you made peace, question? :'''Ryland Grace''': I didn't mean any of that. That's just something you say. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': [''Rreading from computer''] Fist my bump? No. It's fist bump. :'''Rocky''': [''On computer''] Is same. :'''Ryland Grace''': It's not the same. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': So, you really think all this is going to work? :'''Eva Stratt''': God willing. :'''Ryland Grace''': You believe in God? :'''Eva Stratt''': Beats the alternative. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': We have 1,009 of these Little Engines That Could on the Hail Mary, and, uh... :'''Yao''': [in Mandarin] This guy speaks like a child. :'''Eva Stratt''': [''In Mandarin'] It doesn't matter, you'll get used to it. :'''Yao''': Okay. :'''Eva Stratt''': [''Whispering''] You're doing great. :'''Ryland Grace''': [''Whispering''] What? ---- :'''Rocky''': What is Grace doing, question? :'''Ryland Grace''': [softly] I'm having a moment. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': Imagine, for a second, that you're an interstellar microorganism. :'''Carl''': I'm not doing that. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': Carl and I made a baby. :'''Eva Stratt''': [''Over phone''] ... What? ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': You'll find a solution. :'''Eva Stratt''': You are my solution. ---- :'''Rocky''': Close the door! :'''Ryland Grace''': I thought you said it was safe! :'''Rocky''': I make door, you close door! ---- :'''Rocky''': More! No, no, no, left! Be left, more left, more left! Is perfect! No, wrong. :'''Mary''': Erratic maneuver detected. :'''Rocky''': No. Wrong way, wrong way. Wrong angle, bad, bad, bad. Good, good, good! Good! Bad, not enough, not enough. Too much, too much, too much! :'''Ryland Grace''': I'm barely pulling it! :'''Rocky''': Left, left, left! No, is bad. Grace Rocky dead. All Rocky plural, all Earth die, we die, we die. ---- :'''Rocky''': Grace look disgust when eat! :'''Ryland Grace''': How do you look when you eat? :'''Rocky''': It look beautiful! :'''Ryland Grace''': Show me. :'''Rocky''': [''Proceeds to demonstrate''] :'''Ryland Grace''': Oh my god. [''Tries not to gag''] ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': *Whispering to video log* He has incredible hearing. He can see through walls. Personal space is at a premium... :'''Rocky''': Who is Grace talking to Question? ---- :'''Rocky''': [''To recording''] Hello, Earth. Plan is like fishing. We get very close to Adrian atmosphere and lower collector into clouds with chain. Then Grace go on hull to reel it in. If ship not at precise angle and speed, we die. Example: We must fly backwards to keep proper velocity, even though Grace still have no pilot experience! :'''Ryland Grace''': Hey, I've been practicing, haven't I? ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': They seem to be... dimming the sun a tiny, teeny-weeny little bit. :'''Olivia''': So no big whoop? :'''Ryland Grace''': It's a-It's a small whoop. It's small-to-medium whoop. Over the next 30 years, the Earth could cool maybe 10 to... 15 degrees. :'''Olivia''': So it is a big whoop? ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': Did you get your free hat? :'''Eva Stratt''': Yeah I k-I kind of bought them? ==Cast== * [[w:Ryan Gosling|Ryland Grace]] - Ryland Grace * [[w:Sandra Hüller|Sandra Hüller]] - Eva Stratt * [[w:James Ortiz|James Ortiz]] - Rocky * [[w:Lionel Boyce|Lionel Boyce]] - Carl * [[w:Milana Vayntrub|Milana Vayntrub]] - Olesya Ilyukhina * [[w:Ken Leung|Ken Leung]] - Yao * [[w:Priya Kansara|Priya Kansara]] - Mary(voice) * [[w:Mia Soteriou|Mia Soteriou]] - Dr. Browne * Annelle Olaleye - Olivia * Maya Eva Hosein - Rekha * Bastian Antonio Fuentes - Parker ==External links== {{wikipedia}} * {{IMDb title|id=12042730|title=Project Hail Mary}} * {{rotten-tomatoes|id=project_hail_mary|title=Galaxy Quest}} [[Category:2026 films]] [[Category:2020s American films]] [[Category:Space adventure films]] [[Category:Action science fiction films]] [[Category:Films about extraterrestrial life]] f2po8yvo9gho2l4z1hwszihqgghtjdg 3942100 3942099 2026-05-17T17:34:48Z GrimRob 1187925 English logo 3942100 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Project Hail Mary (2026) Logo.png|thumb]] {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Project Hail Mary (film)|Project Hail Mary]]''''' is a [[w:2026 in film|2026 American science-fiction action film]], about middle school science teacher Ryland Grace (Ryan Gosling) who wakes up on a spaceship light-years from home with no recollection of who he is or how he got there. As his memory returns, he begins to uncover his mission: to solve the riddle of the mysterious substance that is causing the sun to die out. He must call on his scientific knowledge and unorthodox ideas to save everything on Earth from extinction... but an unexpected friendship means he may not have to do it alone. :''Directed by [[w:Phil Lord|Phil Lord]] and [[w:Christopher Miller|Christopher Miller]] and screenplay adapted by [[w:Drew Goddard|Drew Goddard]], based on [[w:Andy Weir|Andy Weir]]'s [[w:Project Hail Mary|2021 novel of the same name]].'' {{center|'''Believe in the Hail Mary.'''}} ==Ryland Grace== * [''In video recording''] * Rocky's growing on me! At least he's not growing ''IN'' me, which was a concern for a while... * I always wanted to be... mysterious. Talk too much. It's my problem. Like right now. * Rocky, my hand is up. We can't just show up in a space ball unannounced and move into someone else's spaceship. Right? There has to be boundaries. * There's nothing she can't do * [''Whispering to camera''] He tells me what to do, he tells me why to do it, he tells me how to do it, he tells me when to do it, and then when I do it, he's like, "what are you doing?" * [''Watches a new package being thrown from "Blip A" after the first one bounced off the Hail Mary's hull''] Why is it moving so much slower than the last one? [''Sighs and closes eyes''] They think I'm dumb. * Guys! This is first contact! With life! Outside of the, uh oh. Oh... it died. * Carl and I made a mini-Venus out of a plywood box and as soon as the samples recognized the, uh, spectral signature of CO2 they were... they were like "whoop, there it is!" * Wow! You're not gonna believe this. Nothing happened! * The astrophage consumes the sun's energy and then they expel it for propulsion. They toot to scoot, basically. * Okay buddy, I watch you sleep but you have to wake up. * Me and Carl became fathers ==Eva Stratt== * [''Looking at Ryland Grace while singing''] Remember, everything will be alright. We can meet again somewhere. Somewhere far away from here. And that is enough. * This might seem like me betraying you, but this is actually me believing in you. * You're smart. You'll figure it out. ==Rocky== * Rocky watch whole crew die. Could not fix. Grace say Grace will die. Rocky fix. * Amaze. Amaze. Amaze. * Fist my bump. * Rocky hate Mark. * Grumpy. Angry. Stupid. How long since last sleep, question? * Grace Rocky save stars * It is time go. * Time go fishing, question? ==Carl== * You know who you are. You're going to do great. ==Dialogue== :'''Ryland Grace''': I put the 'not' in astronaut! I've never done a space walk, I can't even moonwalk! I haven't done any training, I haven't done the whole... ..the pool thing! :'''Olesya Ilyukhina''': No, no, no. That is just we do for the picture, for social media. :'''Ryland Grace''': I'm not heroic in any way. I get sick on an elevator! :'''Yao''': Perfect. There's no elevator on the ship. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': You have a mate. How long you been together? :'''Rocky''': 186.3 years. :'''Ryland Grace''': It's like, the honeymoon phase. :'''Rocky''': No understand. :'''Ryland Grace''': That's a joke, Rock, it's a long time. You've been together a long time. :'''Rocky''': Is not enough. ---- :'''Rocky''': Words of encouragement. :'''Ryland Grace''': You can't just say "words of encouragement!" :'''Rocky''': Words of GREAT encouragement! ---- :'''Rocky''': We leave now, question? :'''Ryland Grace''': Leave now. Statement. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': Commander Yao, I really appreciate what you all are doing. :'''Yao''': I mean, you would do the same. :'''Ryland Grace''': I would choose just not to go at all. I don't have the bravery gene that you all have. :'''Yao''': Trust me. It's not a gene. You just need to find someone to be brave for. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': [''Whispering''] There's no way you can hear me right now. :'''Rocky''': Can hear. ---- :'''Rocky''': Dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty. Why room so messy, question? :'''Ryland Grace''': Well, I wasn't expecting company, was I? :'''Rocky''': This room for garbage? Ohh. ---- :'''Rocky''': How do you know when the hug is done? :'''Ryland Grace''': You just feel it. :'''Rocky''': Oh, are you feeling it now? :'''Ryland Grace''': Nope. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': We can't just show up in a spaceball unannounced and move into someone else's spaceship, right? There has to be boundaries. :'''Rocky''': Boundaries. :'''Ryland Grace''': We have one mission. :'''Rocky''': Mission. :'''Ryland Grace''': But we're two distinct individuals. :'''Rocky''': Individuals. :'''Ryland Grace''': Both working on our distinct, individual parts of that mission. :'''Rocky''': Mission. :'''Ryland Grac'''e: Separately. :'''Rocky''': Separately. :'''Ryland Grace''': Ok. :'''Rocky''': Where my bedroom? :'''Ryland Grace''': Bedroom? For what? ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': I need to get into orbit or we'll crash! :'''Rocky''': I have an idea. First, no crash. Then, no explode. Deal? :'''Ryland Grace''': [''Thumbs down''] Deal! ---- :'''Hardware Store Cashier''': Which government? :'''Carl''': All of them. ---- :'''Rocky: You are very brave. :'''Ryland Grace: I don't know about that. :'''Rocky''': You are bravest human I have ever met. :'''Ryland Grace''': Hey! :'''Rocky''': Is joke! :'''Ryland Grace''': I know. :'''Rocky''': I only meet one human. And it's you! :'''Ryland Grace''': I get it. :'''Rocky''': It's good joke. :'''Ryland Grace''': Good joke. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': It took, like, 200 years to figure out how bacteria works, so... :'''Eva Stratt''': Please do it faster. ---- :'''Eva Stratt''': The consensus here is that it would be preferable if you did not die. :'''Ryland Grace''': Thanks, guys. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': I'm gonna go to sleep. :'''Rocky''': Mm, no understand word. :'''Ryland Grace''': Sleep? Uh, just uh, you go like this. [''Lies down''] :'''Rocky''': [''Panicked''] D-d-died? Is died? Died? :'''Ryland Grace''': No... :'''Rocky''': No no no no no! :'''Ryland Grace''': Not died, just laying here for 29,000 seconds and then we... wake up. :'''Rocky''': Oh... understand. ---- :'''Eva Stratt''': Do you stand by what you wrote? :'''Ryland Grace''': I was fired for standing by what I wrote. :'''Eva Stratt''': You were fired for calling the leading scholar in your field a "staggering waste of carbon" at the UNESCO conference in Denmark. ---- :'''Rocky''': I thought you made peace, question? :'''Ryland Grace''': I didn't mean any of that. That's just something you say. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': [''Rreading from computer''] Fist my bump? No. It's fist bump. :'''Rocky''': [''On computer''] Is same. :'''Ryland Grace''': It's not the same. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': So, you really think all this is going to work? :'''Eva Stratt''': God willing. :'''Ryland Grace''': You believe in God? :'''Eva Stratt''': Beats the alternative. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': We have 1,009 of these Little Engines That Could on the Hail Mary, and, uh... :'''Yao''': [in Mandarin] This guy speaks like a child. :'''Eva Stratt''': [''In Mandarin'] It doesn't matter, you'll get used to it. :'''Yao''': Okay. :'''Eva Stratt''': [''Whispering''] You're doing great. :'''Ryland Grace''': [''Whispering''] What? ---- :'''Rocky''': What is Grace doing, question? :'''Ryland Grace''': [softly] I'm having a moment. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': Imagine, for a second, that you're an interstellar microorganism. :'''Carl''': I'm not doing that. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': Carl and I made a baby. :'''Eva Stratt''': [''Over phone''] ... What? ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': You'll find a solution. :'''Eva Stratt''': You are my solution. ---- :'''Rocky''': Close the door! :'''Ryland Grace''': I thought you said it was safe! :'''Rocky''': I make door, you close door! ---- :'''Rocky''': More! No, no, no, left! Be left, more left, more left! Is perfect! No, wrong. :'''Mary''': Erratic maneuver detected. :'''Rocky''': No. Wrong way, wrong way. Wrong angle, bad, bad, bad. Good, good, good! Good! Bad, not enough, not enough. Too much, too much, too much! :'''Ryland Grace''': I'm barely pulling it! :'''Rocky''': Left, left, left! No, is bad. Grace Rocky dead. All Rocky plural, all Earth die, we die, we die. ---- :'''Rocky''': Grace look disgust when eat! :'''Ryland Grace''': How do you look when you eat? :'''Rocky''': It look beautiful! :'''Ryland Grace''': Show me. :'''Rocky''': [''Proceeds to demonstrate''] :'''Ryland Grace''': Oh my god. [''Tries not to gag''] ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': *Whispering to video log* He has incredible hearing. He can see through walls. Personal space is at a premium... :'''Rocky''': Who is Grace talking to Question? ---- :'''Rocky''': [''To recording''] Hello, Earth. Plan is like fishing. We get very close to Adrian atmosphere and lower collector into clouds with chain. Then Grace go on hull to reel it in. If ship not at precise angle and speed, we die. Example: We must fly backwards to keep proper velocity, even though Grace still have no pilot experience! :'''Ryland Grace''': Hey, I've been practicing, haven't I? ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': They seem to be... dimming the sun a tiny, teeny-weeny little bit. :'''Olivia''': So no big whoop? :'''Ryland Grace''': It's a-It's a small whoop. It's small-to-medium whoop. Over the next 30 years, the Earth could cool maybe 10 to... 15 degrees. :'''Olivia''': So it is a big whoop? ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': Did you get your free hat? :'''Eva Stratt''': Yeah I k-I kind of bought them? ==Cast== * [[w:Ryan Gosling|Ryland Grace]] - Ryland Grace * [[w:Sandra Hüller|Sandra Hüller]] - Eva Stratt * [[w:James Ortiz|James Ortiz]] - Rocky * [[w:Lionel Boyce|Lionel Boyce]] - Carl * [[w:Milana Vayntrub|Milana Vayntrub]] - Olesya Ilyukhina * [[w:Ken Leung|Ken Leung]] - Yao * [[w:Priya Kansara|Priya Kansara]] - Mary(voice) * [[w:Mia Soteriou|Mia Soteriou]] - Dr. Browne * Annelle Olaleye - Olivia * Maya Eva Hosein - Rekha * Bastian Antonio Fuentes - Parker ==External links== {{Wikipedia}} {{Commonscat}} * {{IMDb title|id=12042730|title=Project Hail Mary}} * {{rotten-tomatoes|id=project_hail_mary|title=Galaxy Quest}} [[Category:2026 films]] [[Category:2020s American films]] [[Category:Space adventure films]] [[Category:Action science fiction films]] [[Category:Films about extraterrestrial life]] aamgdq8csdoc0ma1h2c6ls9aoch2clh 3942101 3942100 2026-05-17T17:35:33Z GrimRob 1187925 3942101 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Project Hail Mary (2026) Logo.png|thumb|Believe in the Hail Mary]] {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Project Hail Mary (film)|Project Hail Mary]]''''' is a [[w:2026 in film|2026 American science-fiction action film]], about middle school science teacher Ryland Grace (Ryan Gosling) who wakes up on a spaceship light-years from home with no recollection of who he is or how he got there. As his memory returns, he begins to uncover his mission: to solve the riddle of the mysterious substance that is causing the sun to die out. He must call on his scientific knowledge and unorthodox ideas to save everything on Earth from extinction... but an unexpected friendship means he may not have to do it alone. :''Directed by [[w:Phil Lord|Phil Lord]] and [[w:Christopher Miller|Christopher Miller]] and screenplay adapted by [[w:Drew Goddard|Drew Goddard]], based on [[w:Andy Weir|Andy Weir]]'s [[w:Project Hail Mary|2021 novel of the same name]].'' {{center|'''Believe in the Hail Mary.'''}} ==Ryland Grace== * [''In video recording''] * Rocky's growing on me! At least he's not growing ''IN'' me, which was a concern for a while... * I always wanted to be... mysterious. Talk too much. It's my problem. Like right now. * Rocky, my hand is up. We can't just show up in a space ball unannounced and move into someone else's spaceship. Right? There has to be boundaries. * There's nothing she can't do * [''Whispering to camera''] He tells me what to do, he tells me why to do it, he tells me how to do it, he tells me when to do it, and then when I do it, he's like, "what are you doing?" * [''Watches a new package being thrown from "Blip A" after the first one bounced off the Hail Mary's hull''] Why is it moving so much slower than the last one? [''Sighs and closes eyes''] They think I'm dumb. * Guys! This is first contact! With life! Outside of the, uh oh. Oh... it died. * Carl and I made a mini-Venus out of a plywood box and as soon as the samples recognized the, uh, spectral signature of CO2 they were... they were like "whoop, there it is!" * Wow! You're not gonna believe this. Nothing happened! * The astrophage consumes the sun's energy and then they expel it for propulsion. They toot to scoot, basically. * Okay buddy, I watch you sleep but you have to wake up. * Me and Carl became fathers ==Eva Stratt== * [''Looking at Ryland Grace while singing''] Remember, everything will be alright. We can meet again somewhere. Somewhere far away from here. And that is enough. * This might seem like me betraying you, but this is actually me believing in you. * You're smart. You'll figure it out. ==Rocky== * Rocky watch whole crew die. Could not fix. Grace say Grace will die. Rocky fix. * Amaze. Amaze. Amaze. * Fist my bump. * Rocky hate Mark. * Grumpy. Angry. Stupid. How long since last sleep, question? * Grace Rocky save stars * It is time go. * Time go fishing, question? ==Carl== * You know who you are. You're going to do great. ==Dialogue== :'''Ryland Grace''': I put the 'not' in astronaut! I've never done a space walk, I can't even moonwalk! I haven't done any training, I haven't done the whole... ..the pool thing! :'''Olesya Ilyukhina''': No, no, no. That is just we do for the picture, for social media. :'''Ryland Grace''': I'm not heroic in any way. I get sick on an elevator! :'''Yao''': Perfect. There's no elevator on the ship. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': You have a mate. How long you been together? :'''Rocky''': 186.3 years. :'''Ryland Grace''': It's like, the honeymoon phase. :'''Rocky''': No understand. :'''Ryland Grace''': That's a joke, Rock, it's a long time. You've been together a long time. :'''Rocky''': Is not enough. ---- :'''Rocky''': Words of encouragement. :'''Ryland Grace''': You can't just say "words of encouragement!" :'''Rocky''': Words of GREAT encouragement! ---- :'''Rocky''': We leave now, question? :'''Ryland Grace''': Leave now. Statement. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': Commander Yao, I really appreciate what you all are doing. :'''Yao''': I mean, you would do the same. :'''Ryland Grace''': I would choose just not to go at all. I don't have the bravery gene that you all have. :'''Yao''': Trust me. It's not a gene. You just need to find someone to be brave for. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': [''Whispering''] There's no way you can hear me right now. :'''Rocky''': Can hear. ---- :'''Rocky''': Dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty. Why room so messy, question? :'''Ryland Grace''': Well, I wasn't expecting company, was I? :'''Rocky''': This room for garbage? Ohh. ---- :'''Rocky''': How do you know when the hug is done? :'''Ryland Grace''': You just feel it. :'''Rocky''': Oh, are you feeling it now? :'''Ryland Grace''': Nope. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': We can't just show up in a spaceball unannounced and move into someone else's spaceship, right? There has to be boundaries. :'''Rocky''': Boundaries. :'''Ryland Grace''': We have one mission. :'''Rocky''': Mission. :'''Ryland Grace''': But we're two distinct individuals. :'''Rocky''': Individuals. :'''Ryland Grace''': Both working on our distinct, individual parts of that mission. :'''Rocky''': Mission. :'''Ryland Grac'''e: Separately. :'''Rocky''': Separately. :'''Ryland Grace''': Ok. :'''Rocky''': Where my bedroom? :'''Ryland Grace''': Bedroom? For what? ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': I need to get into orbit or we'll crash! :'''Rocky''': I have an idea. First, no crash. Then, no explode. Deal? :'''Ryland Grace''': [''Thumbs down''] Deal! ---- :'''Hardware Store Cashier''': Which government? :'''Carl''': All of them. ---- :'''Rocky: You are very brave. :'''Ryland Grace: I don't know about that. :'''Rocky''': You are bravest human I have ever met. :'''Ryland Grace''': Hey! :'''Rocky''': Is joke! :'''Ryland Grace''': I know. :'''Rocky''': I only meet one human. And it's you! :'''Ryland Grace''': I get it. :'''Rocky''': It's good joke. :'''Ryland Grace''': Good joke. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': It took, like, 200 years to figure out how bacteria works, so... :'''Eva Stratt''': Please do it faster. ---- :'''Eva Stratt''': The consensus here is that it would be preferable if you did not die. :'''Ryland Grace''': Thanks, guys. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': I'm gonna go to sleep. :'''Rocky''': Mm, no understand word. :'''Ryland Grace''': Sleep? Uh, just uh, you go like this. [''Lies down''] :'''Rocky''': [''Panicked''] D-d-died? Is died? Died? :'''Ryland Grace''': No... :'''Rocky''': No no no no no! :'''Ryland Grace''': Not died, just laying here for 29,000 seconds and then we... wake up. :'''Rocky''': Oh... understand. ---- :'''Eva Stratt''': Do you stand by what you wrote? :'''Ryland Grace''': I was fired for standing by what I wrote. :'''Eva Stratt''': You were fired for calling the leading scholar in your field a "staggering waste of carbon" at the UNESCO conference in Denmark. ---- :'''Rocky''': I thought you made peace, question? :'''Ryland Grace''': I didn't mean any of that. That's just something you say. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': [''Rreading from computer''] Fist my bump? No. It's fist bump. :'''Rocky''': [''On computer''] Is same. :'''Ryland Grace''': It's not the same. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': So, you really think all this is going to work? :'''Eva Stratt''': God willing. :'''Ryland Grace''': You believe in God? :'''Eva Stratt''': Beats the alternative. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': We have 1,009 of these Little Engines That Could on the Hail Mary, and, uh... :'''Yao''': [in Mandarin] This guy speaks like a child. :'''Eva Stratt''': [''In Mandarin'] It doesn't matter, you'll get used to it. :'''Yao''': Okay. :'''Eva Stratt''': [''Whispering''] You're doing great. :'''Ryland Grace''': [''Whispering''] What? ---- :'''Rocky''': What is Grace doing, question? :'''Ryland Grace''': [softly] I'm having a moment. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': Imagine, for a second, that you're an interstellar microorganism. :'''Carl''': I'm not doing that. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': Carl and I made a baby. :'''Eva Stratt''': [''Over phone''] ... What? ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': You'll find a solution. :'''Eva Stratt''': You are my solution. ---- :'''Rocky''': Close the door! :'''Ryland Grace''': I thought you said it was safe! :'''Rocky''': I make door, you close door! ---- :'''Rocky''': More! No, no, no, left! Be left, more left, more left! Is perfect! No, wrong. :'''Mary''': Erratic maneuver detected. :'''Rocky''': No. Wrong way, wrong way. Wrong angle, bad, bad, bad. Good, good, good! Good! Bad, not enough, not enough. Too much, too much, too much! :'''Ryland Grace''': I'm barely pulling it! :'''Rocky''': Left, left, left! No, is bad. Grace Rocky dead. All Rocky plural, all Earth die, we die, we die. ---- :'''Rocky''': Grace look disgust when eat! :'''Ryland Grace''': How do you look when you eat? :'''Rocky''': It look beautiful! :'''Ryland Grace''': Show me. :'''Rocky''': [''Proceeds to demonstrate''] :'''Ryland Grace''': Oh my god. [''Tries not to gag''] ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': *Whispering to video log* He has incredible hearing. He can see through walls. Personal space is at a premium... :'''Rocky''': Who is Grace talking to Question? ---- :'''Rocky''': [''To recording''] Hello, Earth. Plan is like fishing. We get very close to Adrian atmosphere and lower collector into clouds with chain. Then Grace go on hull to reel it in. If ship not at precise angle and speed, we die. Example: We must fly backwards to keep proper velocity, even though Grace still have no pilot experience! :'''Ryland Grace''': Hey, I've been practicing, haven't I? ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': They seem to be... dimming the sun a tiny, teeny-weeny little bit. :'''Olivia''': So no big whoop? :'''Ryland Grace''': It's a-It's a small whoop. It's small-to-medium whoop. Over the next 30 years, the Earth could cool maybe 10 to... 15 degrees. :'''Olivia''': So it is a big whoop? ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': Did you get your free hat? :'''Eva Stratt''': Yeah I k-I kind of bought them? ==Cast== * [[w:Ryan Gosling|Ryland Grace]] - Ryland Grace * [[w:Sandra Hüller|Sandra Hüller]] - Eva Stratt * [[w:James Ortiz|James Ortiz]] - Rocky * [[w:Lionel Boyce|Lionel Boyce]] - Carl * [[w:Milana Vayntrub|Milana Vayntrub]] - Olesya Ilyukhina * [[w:Ken Leung|Ken Leung]] - Yao * [[w:Priya Kansara|Priya Kansara]] - Mary(voice) * [[w:Mia Soteriou|Mia Soteriou]] - Dr. Browne * Annelle Olaleye - Olivia * Maya Eva Hosein - Rekha * Bastian Antonio Fuentes - Parker ==External links== {{Wikipedia}} {{Commonscat}} * {{IMDb title|id=12042730|title=Project Hail Mary}} * {{rotten-tomatoes|id=project_hail_mary|title=Galaxy Quest}} [[Category:2026 films]] [[Category:2020s American films]] [[Category:Space adventure films]] [[Category:Action science fiction films]] [[Category:Films about extraterrestrial life]] e9y3bxdsiypjl0aqbvjd7x5upecbe4u 3942263 3942101 2026-05-18T09:20:46Z GrimRob 1187925 Duplicate caption 3942263 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Project Hail Mary (2026) Logo.png|thumb|Believe in the Hail Mary]] {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Project Hail Mary (film)|Project Hail Mary]]''''' is a [[w:2026 in film|2026 American science-fiction action film]], about middle school science teacher Ryland Grace (Ryan Gosling) who wakes up on a spaceship light-years from home with no recollection of who he is or how he got there. As his memory returns, he begins to uncover his mission: to solve the riddle of the mysterious substance that is causing the sun to die out. He must call on his scientific knowledge and unorthodox ideas to save everything on Earth from extinction... but an unexpected friendship means he may not have to do it alone. :''Directed by [[w:Phil Lord|Phil Lord]] and [[w:Christopher Miller|Christopher Miller]] and screenplay adapted by [[w:Drew Goddard|Drew Goddard]], based on [[w:Andy Weir|Andy Weir]]'s [[w:Project Hail Mary|2021 novel of the same name]].'' ==Ryland Grace== * [''In video recording''] * Rocky's growing on me! At least he's not growing ''IN'' me, which was a concern for a while... * I always wanted to be... mysterious. Talk too much. It's my problem. Like right now. * Rocky, my hand is up. We can't just show up in a space ball unannounced and move into someone else's spaceship. Right? There has to be boundaries. * There's nothing she can't do * [''Whispering to camera''] He tells me what to do, he tells me why to do it, he tells me how to do it, he tells me when to do it, and then when I do it, he's like, "what are you doing?" * [''Watches a new package being thrown from "Blip A" after the first one bounced off the Hail Mary's hull''] Why is it moving so much slower than the last one? [''Sighs and closes eyes''] They think I'm dumb. * Guys! This is first contact! With life! Outside of the, uh oh. Oh... it died. * Carl and I made a mini-Venus out of a plywood box and as soon as the samples recognized the, uh, spectral signature of CO2 they were... they were like "whoop, there it is!" * Wow! You're not gonna believe this. Nothing happened! * The astrophage consumes the sun's energy and then they expel it for propulsion. They toot to scoot, basically. * Okay buddy, I watch you sleep but you have to wake up. * Me and Carl became fathers ==Eva Stratt== * [''Looking at Ryland Grace while singing''] Remember, everything will be alright. We can meet again somewhere. Somewhere far away from here. And that is enough. * This might seem like me betraying you, but this is actually me believing in you. * You're smart. You'll figure it out. ==Rocky== * Rocky watch whole crew die. Could not fix. Grace say Grace will die. Rocky fix. * Amaze. Amaze. Amaze. * Fist my bump. * Rocky hate Mark. * Grumpy. Angry. Stupid. How long since last sleep, question? * Grace Rocky save stars * It is time go. * Time go fishing, question? ==Carl== * You know who you are. You're going to do great. ==Dialogue== :'''Ryland Grace''': I put the 'not' in astronaut! I've never done a space walk, I can't even moonwalk! I haven't done any training, I haven't done the whole... ..the pool thing! :'''Olesya Ilyukhina''': No, no, no. That is just we do for the picture, for social media. :'''Ryland Grace''': I'm not heroic in any way. I get sick on an elevator! :'''Yao''': Perfect. There's no elevator on the ship. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': You have a mate. How long you been together? :'''Rocky''': 186.3 years. :'''Ryland Grace''': It's like, the honeymoon phase. :'''Rocky''': No understand. :'''Ryland Grace''': That's a joke, Rock, it's a long time. You've been together a long time. :'''Rocky''': Is not enough. ---- :'''Rocky''': Words of encouragement. :'''Ryland Grace''': You can't just say "words of encouragement!" :'''Rocky''': Words of GREAT encouragement! ---- :'''Rocky''': We leave now, question? :'''Ryland Grace''': Leave now. Statement. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': Commander Yao, I really appreciate what you all are doing. :'''Yao''': I mean, you would do the same. :'''Ryland Grace''': I would choose just not to go at all. I don't have the bravery gene that you all have. :'''Yao''': Trust me. It's not a gene. You just need to find someone to be brave for. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': [''Whispering''] There's no way you can hear me right now. :'''Rocky''': Can hear. ---- :'''Rocky''': Dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty. Why room so messy, question? :'''Ryland Grace''': Well, I wasn't expecting company, was I? :'''Rocky''': This room for garbage? Ohh. ---- :'''Rocky''': How do you know when the hug is done? :'''Ryland Grace''': You just feel it. :'''Rocky''': Oh, are you feeling it now? :'''Ryland Grace''': Nope. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': We can't just show up in a spaceball unannounced and move into someone else's spaceship, right? There has to be boundaries. :'''Rocky''': Boundaries. :'''Ryland Grace''': We have one mission. :'''Rocky''': Mission. :'''Ryland Grace''': But we're two distinct individuals. :'''Rocky''': Individuals. :'''Ryland Grace''': Both working on our distinct, individual parts of that mission. :'''Rocky''': Mission. :'''Ryland Grac'''e: Separately. :'''Rocky''': Separately. :'''Ryland Grace''': Ok. :'''Rocky''': Where my bedroom? :'''Ryland Grace''': Bedroom? For what? ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': I need to get into orbit or we'll crash! :'''Rocky''': I have an idea. First, no crash. Then, no explode. Deal? :'''Ryland Grace''': [''Thumbs down''] Deal! ---- :'''Hardware Store Cashier''': Which government? :'''Carl''': All of them. ---- :'''Rocky: You are very brave. :'''Ryland Grace: I don't know about that. :'''Rocky''': You are bravest human I have ever met. :'''Ryland Grace''': Hey! :'''Rocky''': Is joke! :'''Ryland Grace''': I know. :'''Rocky''': I only meet one human. And it's you! :'''Ryland Grace''': I get it. :'''Rocky''': It's good joke. :'''Ryland Grace''': Good joke. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': It took, like, 200 years to figure out how bacteria works, so... :'''Eva Stratt''': Please do it faster. ---- :'''Eva Stratt''': The consensus here is that it would be preferable if you did not die. :'''Ryland Grace''': Thanks, guys. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': I'm gonna go to sleep. :'''Rocky''': Mm, no understand word. :'''Ryland Grace''': Sleep? Uh, just uh, you go like this. [''Lies down''] :'''Rocky''': [''Panicked''] D-d-died? Is died? Died? :'''Ryland Grace''': No... :'''Rocky''': No no no no no! :'''Ryland Grace''': Not died, just laying here for 29,000 seconds and then we... wake up. :'''Rocky''': Oh... understand. ---- :'''Eva Stratt''': Do you stand by what you wrote? :'''Ryland Grace''': I was fired for standing by what I wrote. :'''Eva Stratt''': You were fired for calling the leading scholar in your field a "staggering waste of carbon" at the UNESCO conference in Denmark. ---- :'''Rocky''': I thought you made peace, question? :'''Ryland Grace''': I didn't mean any of that. That's just something you say. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': [''Rreading from computer''] Fist my bump? No. It's fist bump. :'''Rocky''': [''On computer''] Is same. :'''Ryland Grace''': It's not the same. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': So, you really think all this is going to work? :'''Eva Stratt''': God willing. :'''Ryland Grace''': You believe in God? :'''Eva Stratt''': Beats the alternative. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': We have 1,009 of these Little Engines That Could on the Hail Mary, and, uh... :'''Yao''': [in Mandarin] This guy speaks like a child. :'''Eva Stratt''': [''In Mandarin'] It doesn't matter, you'll get used to it. :'''Yao''': Okay. :'''Eva Stratt''': [''Whispering''] You're doing great. :'''Ryland Grace''': [''Whispering''] What? ---- :'''Rocky''': What is Grace doing, question? :'''Ryland Grace''': [softly] I'm having a moment. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': Imagine, for a second, that you're an interstellar microorganism. :'''Carl''': I'm not doing that. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': Carl and I made a baby. :'''Eva Stratt''': [''Over phone''] ... What? ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': You'll find a solution. :'''Eva Stratt''': You are my solution. ---- :'''Rocky''': Close the door! :'''Ryland Grace''': I thought you said it was safe! :'''Rocky''': I make door, you close door! ---- :'''Rocky''': More! No, no, no, left! Be left, more left, more left! Is perfect! No, wrong. :'''Mary''': Erratic maneuver detected. :'''Rocky''': No. Wrong way, wrong way. Wrong angle, bad, bad, bad. Good, good, good! Good! Bad, not enough, not enough. Too much, too much, too much! :'''Ryland Grace''': I'm barely pulling it! :'''Rocky''': Left, left, left! No, is bad. Grace Rocky dead. All Rocky plural, all Earth die, we die, we die. ---- :'''Rocky''': Grace look disgust when eat! :'''Ryland Grace''': How do you look when you eat? :'''Rocky''': It look beautiful! :'''Ryland Grace''': Show me. :'''Rocky''': [''Proceeds to demonstrate''] :'''Ryland Grace''': Oh my god. [''Tries not to gag''] ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': *Whispering to video log* He has incredible hearing. He can see through walls. Personal space is at a premium... :'''Rocky''': Who is Grace talking to Question? ---- :'''Rocky''': [''To recording''] Hello, Earth. Plan is like fishing. We get very close to Adrian atmosphere and lower collector into clouds with chain. Then Grace go on hull to reel it in. If ship not at precise angle and speed, we die. Example: We must fly backwards to keep proper velocity, even though Grace still have no pilot experience! :'''Ryland Grace''': Hey, I've been practicing, haven't I? ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': They seem to be... dimming the sun a tiny, teeny-weeny little bit. :'''Olivia''': So no big whoop? :'''Ryland Grace''': It's a-It's a small whoop. It's small-to-medium whoop. Over the next 30 years, the Earth could cool maybe 10 to... 15 degrees. :'''Olivia''': So it is a big whoop? ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': Did you get your free hat? :'''Eva Stratt''': Yeah I k-I kind of bought them? ==Cast== * [[w:Ryan Gosling|Ryland Grace]] - Ryland Grace * [[w:Sandra Hüller|Sandra Hüller]] - Eva Stratt * [[w:James Ortiz|James Ortiz]] - Rocky * [[w:Lionel Boyce|Lionel Boyce]] - Carl * [[w:Milana Vayntrub|Milana Vayntrub]] - Olesya Ilyukhina * [[w:Ken Leung|Ken Leung]] - Yao * [[w:Priya Kansara|Priya Kansara]] - Mary(voice) * [[w:Mia Soteriou|Mia Soteriou]] - Dr. Browne * Annelle Olaleye - Olivia * Maya Eva Hosein - Rekha * Bastian Antonio Fuentes - Parker ==External links== {{Wikipedia}} {{Commonscat}} * {{IMDb title|id=12042730|title=Project Hail Mary}} * {{rotten-tomatoes|id=project_hail_mary|title=Galaxy Quest}} [[Category:2026 films]] [[Category:2020s American films]] [[Category:Space adventure films]] [[Category:Action science fiction films]] [[Category:Films about extraterrestrial life]] obhek0z4txlsm3m9nefu8h9iyqvkqrr 3942265 3942263 2026-05-18T09:28:14Z GrimRob 1187925 Undid revision [[Special:Diff/3942263|3942263]] by [[Special:Contributions/GrimRob|GrimRob]] ([[User talk:GrimRob|talk]]) 3942265 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Project Hail Mary (2026) Logo.png|thumb|Believe in the Hail Mary]] {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Project Hail Mary (film)|Project Hail Mary]]''''' is a [[w:2026 in film|2026 American science-fiction action film]], about middle school science teacher Ryland Grace (Ryan Gosling) who wakes up on a spaceship light-years from home with no recollection of who he is or how he got there. As his memory returns, he begins to uncover his mission: to solve the riddle of the mysterious substance that is causing the sun to die out. He must call on his scientific knowledge and unorthodox ideas to save everything on Earth from extinction... but an unexpected friendship means he may not have to do it alone. :''Directed by [[w:Phil Lord|Phil Lord]] and [[w:Christopher Miller|Christopher Miller]] and screenplay adapted by [[w:Drew Goddard|Drew Goddard]], based on [[w:Andy Weir|Andy Weir]]'s [[w:Project Hail Mary|2021 novel of the same name]].'' {{center|'''Believe in the Hail Mary.'''}} ==Ryland Grace== * [''In video recording''] * Rocky's growing on me! At least he's not growing ''IN'' me, which was a concern for a while... * I always wanted to be... mysterious. Talk too much. It's my problem. Like right now. * Rocky, my hand is up. We can't just show up in a space ball unannounced and move into someone else's spaceship. Right? There has to be boundaries. * There's nothing she can't do * [''Whispering to camera''] He tells me what to do, he tells me why to do it, he tells me how to do it, he tells me when to do it, and then when I do it, he's like, "what are you doing?" * [''Watches a new package being thrown from "Blip A" after the first one bounced off the Hail Mary's hull''] Why is it moving so much slower than the last one? [''Sighs and closes eyes''] They think I'm dumb. * Guys! This is first contact! With life! Outside of the, uh oh. Oh... it died. * Carl and I made a mini-Venus out of a plywood box and as soon as the samples recognized the, uh, spectral signature of CO2 they were... they were like "whoop, there it is!" * Wow! You're not gonna believe this. Nothing happened! * The astrophage consumes the sun's energy and then they expel it for propulsion. They toot to scoot, basically. * Okay buddy, I watch you sleep but you have to wake up. * Me and Carl became fathers ==Eva Stratt== * [''Looking at Ryland Grace while singing''] Remember, everything will be alright. We can meet again somewhere. Somewhere far away from here. And that is enough. * This might seem like me betraying you, but this is actually me believing in you. * You're smart. You'll figure it out. ==Rocky== * Rocky watch whole crew die. Could not fix. Grace say Grace will die. Rocky fix. * Amaze. Amaze. Amaze. * Fist my bump. * Rocky hate Mark. * Grumpy. Angry. Stupid. How long since last sleep, question? * Grace Rocky save stars * It is time go. * Time go fishing, question? ==Carl== * You know who you are. You're going to do great. ==Dialogue== :'''Ryland Grace''': I put the 'not' in astronaut! I've never done a space walk, I can't even moonwalk! I haven't done any training, I haven't done the whole... ..the pool thing! :'''Olesya Ilyukhina''': No, no, no. That is just we do for the picture, for social media. :'''Ryland Grace''': I'm not heroic in any way. I get sick on an elevator! :'''Yao''': Perfect. There's no elevator on the ship. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': You have a mate. How long you been together? :'''Rocky''': 186.3 years. :'''Ryland Grace''': It's like, the honeymoon phase. :'''Rocky''': No understand. :'''Ryland Grace''': That's a joke, Rock, it's a long time. You've been together a long time. :'''Rocky''': Is not enough. ---- :'''Rocky''': Words of encouragement. :'''Ryland Grace''': You can't just say "words of encouragement!" :'''Rocky''': Words of GREAT encouragement! ---- :'''Rocky''': We leave now, question? :'''Ryland Grace''': Leave now. Statement. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': Commander Yao, I really appreciate what you all are doing. :'''Yao''': I mean, you would do the same. :'''Ryland Grace''': I would choose just not to go at all. I don't have the bravery gene that you all have. :'''Yao''': Trust me. It's not a gene. You just need to find someone to be brave for. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': [''Whispering''] There's no way you can hear me right now. :'''Rocky''': Can hear. ---- :'''Rocky''': Dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty. Why room so messy, question? :'''Ryland Grace''': Well, I wasn't expecting company, was I? :'''Rocky''': This room for garbage? Ohh. ---- :'''Rocky''': How do you know when the hug is done? :'''Ryland Grace''': You just feel it. :'''Rocky''': Oh, are you feeling it now? :'''Ryland Grace''': Nope. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': We can't just show up in a spaceball unannounced and move into someone else's spaceship, right? There has to be boundaries. :'''Rocky''': Boundaries. :'''Ryland Grace''': We have one mission. :'''Rocky''': Mission. :'''Ryland Grace''': But we're two distinct individuals. :'''Rocky''': Individuals. :'''Ryland Grace''': Both working on our distinct, individual parts of that mission. :'''Rocky''': Mission. :'''Ryland Grac'''e: Separately. :'''Rocky''': Separately. :'''Ryland Grace''': Ok. :'''Rocky''': Where my bedroom? :'''Ryland Grace''': Bedroom? For what? ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': I need to get into orbit or we'll crash! :'''Rocky''': I have an idea. First, no crash. Then, no explode. Deal? :'''Ryland Grace''': [''Thumbs down''] Deal! ---- :'''Hardware Store Cashier''': Which government? :'''Carl''': All of them. ---- :'''Rocky: You are very brave. :'''Ryland Grace: I don't know about that. :'''Rocky''': You are bravest human I have ever met. :'''Ryland Grace''': Hey! :'''Rocky''': Is joke! :'''Ryland Grace''': I know. :'''Rocky''': I only meet one human. And it's you! :'''Ryland Grace''': I get it. :'''Rocky''': It's good joke. :'''Ryland Grace''': Good joke. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': It took, like, 200 years to figure out how bacteria works, so... :'''Eva Stratt''': Please do it faster. ---- :'''Eva Stratt''': The consensus here is that it would be preferable if you did not die. :'''Ryland Grace''': Thanks, guys. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': I'm gonna go to sleep. :'''Rocky''': Mm, no understand word. :'''Ryland Grace''': Sleep? Uh, just uh, you go like this. [''Lies down''] :'''Rocky''': [''Panicked''] D-d-died? Is died? Died? :'''Ryland Grace''': No... :'''Rocky''': No no no no no! :'''Ryland Grace''': Not died, just laying here for 29,000 seconds and then we... wake up. :'''Rocky''': Oh... understand. ---- :'''Eva Stratt''': Do you stand by what you wrote? :'''Ryland Grace''': I was fired for standing by what I wrote. :'''Eva Stratt''': You were fired for calling the leading scholar in your field a "staggering waste of carbon" at the UNESCO conference in Denmark. ---- :'''Rocky''': I thought you made peace, question? :'''Ryland Grace''': I didn't mean any of that. That's just something you say. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': [''Rreading from computer''] Fist my bump? No. It's fist bump. :'''Rocky''': [''On computer''] Is same. :'''Ryland Grace''': It's not the same. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': So, you really think all this is going to work? :'''Eva Stratt''': God willing. :'''Ryland Grace''': You believe in God? :'''Eva Stratt''': Beats the alternative. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': We have 1,009 of these Little Engines That Could on the Hail Mary, and, uh... :'''Yao''': [in Mandarin] This guy speaks like a child. :'''Eva Stratt''': [''In Mandarin'] It doesn't matter, you'll get used to it. :'''Yao''': Okay. :'''Eva Stratt''': [''Whispering''] You're doing great. :'''Ryland Grace''': [''Whispering''] What? ---- :'''Rocky''': What is Grace doing, question? :'''Ryland Grace''': [softly] I'm having a moment. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': Imagine, for a second, that you're an interstellar microorganism. :'''Carl''': I'm not doing that. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': Carl and I made a baby. :'''Eva Stratt''': [''Over phone''] ... What? ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': You'll find a solution. :'''Eva Stratt''': You are my solution. ---- :'''Rocky''': Close the door! :'''Ryland Grace''': I thought you said it was safe! :'''Rocky''': I make door, you close door! ---- :'''Rocky''': More! No, no, no, left! Be left, more left, more left! Is perfect! No, wrong. :'''Mary''': Erratic maneuver detected. :'''Rocky''': No. Wrong way, wrong way. Wrong angle, bad, bad, bad. Good, good, good! Good! Bad, not enough, not enough. Too much, too much, too much! :'''Ryland Grace''': I'm barely pulling it! :'''Rocky''': Left, left, left! No, is bad. Grace Rocky dead. All Rocky plural, all Earth die, we die, we die. ---- :'''Rocky''': Grace look disgust when eat! :'''Ryland Grace''': How do you look when you eat? :'''Rocky''': It look beautiful! :'''Ryland Grace''': Show me. :'''Rocky''': [''Proceeds to demonstrate''] :'''Ryland Grace''': Oh my god. [''Tries not to gag''] ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': *Whispering to video log* He has incredible hearing. He can see through walls. Personal space is at a premium... :'''Rocky''': Who is Grace talking to Question? ---- :'''Rocky''': [''To recording''] Hello, Earth. Plan is like fishing. We get very close to Adrian atmosphere and lower collector into clouds with chain. Then Grace go on hull to reel it in. If ship not at precise angle and speed, we die. Example: We must fly backwards to keep proper velocity, even though Grace still have no pilot experience! :'''Ryland Grace''': Hey, I've been practicing, haven't I? ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': They seem to be... dimming the sun a tiny, teeny-weeny little bit. :'''Olivia''': So no big whoop? :'''Ryland Grace''': It's a-It's a small whoop. It's small-to-medium whoop. Over the next 30 years, the Earth could cool maybe 10 to... 15 degrees. :'''Olivia''': So it is a big whoop? ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': Did you get your free hat? :'''Eva Stratt''': Yeah I k-I kind of bought them? ==Cast== * [[w:Ryan Gosling|Ryland Grace]] - Ryland Grace * [[w:Sandra Hüller|Sandra Hüller]] - Eva Stratt * [[w:James Ortiz|James Ortiz]] - Rocky * [[w:Lionel Boyce|Lionel Boyce]] - Carl * [[w:Milana Vayntrub|Milana Vayntrub]] - Olesya Ilyukhina * [[w:Ken Leung|Ken Leung]] - Yao * [[w:Priya Kansara|Priya Kansara]] - Mary(voice) * [[w:Mia Soteriou|Mia Soteriou]] - Dr. Browne * Annelle Olaleye - Olivia * Maya Eva Hosein - Rekha * Bastian Antonio Fuentes - Parker ==External links== {{Wikipedia}} {{Commonscat}} * {{IMDb title|id=12042730|title=Project Hail Mary}} * {{rotten-tomatoes|id=project_hail_mary|title=Galaxy Quest}} [[Category:2026 films]] [[Category:2020s American films]] [[Category:Space adventure films]] [[Category:Action science fiction films]] [[Category:Films about extraterrestrial life]] e9y3bxdsiypjl0aqbvjd7x5upecbe4u 3942280 3942265 2026-05-18T11:41:49Z GrimRob 1187925 taglines section 3942280 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Project Hail Mary (2026) Logo.png|thumb|Believe in the Hail Mary]] {{italic title}} '''''[[w:Project Hail Mary (film)|Project Hail Mary]]''''' is a [[w:2026 in film|2026 American science-fiction action film]], about middle school science teacher Ryland Grace (Ryan Gosling) who wakes up on a spaceship light-years from home with no recollection of who he is or how he got there. As his memory returns, he begins to uncover his mission: to solve the riddle of the mysterious substance that is causing the sun to die out. He must call on his scientific knowledge and unorthodox ideas to save everything on Earth from extinction... but an unexpected friendship means he may not have to do it alone. :''Directed by [[w:Phil Lord|Phil Lord]] and [[w:Christopher Miller|Christopher Miller]] and screenplay adapted by [[w:Drew Goddard|Drew Goddard]], based on [[w:Andy Weir|Andy Weir]]'s [[w:Project Hail Mary|2021 novel of the same name]].'' {{center|'''Believe in the Hail Mary.'''<small>([[#Taglines|taglines]])</small>}} ==Ryland Grace== * [''In video recording''] * Rocky's growing on me! At least he's not growing ''IN'' me, which was a concern for a while... * I always wanted to be... mysterious. Talk too much. It's my problem. Like right now. * Rocky, my hand is up. We can't just show up in a space ball unannounced and move into someone else's spaceship. Right? There has to be boundaries. * There's nothing she can't do * [''Whispering to camera''] He tells me what to do, he tells me why to do it, he tells me how to do it, he tells me when to do it, and then when I do it, he's like, "what are you doing?" * [''Watches a new package being thrown from "Blip A" after the first one bounced off the Hail Mary's hull''] Why is it moving so much slower than the last one? [''Sighs and closes eyes''] They think I'm dumb. * Guys! This is first contact! With life! Outside of the, uh oh. Oh... it died. * Carl and I made a mini-Venus out of a plywood box and as soon as the samples recognized the, uh, spectral signature of CO2 they were... they were like "whoop, there it is!" * Wow! You're not gonna believe this. Nothing happened! * The astrophage consumes the sun's energy and then they expel it for propulsion. They toot to scoot, basically. * Okay buddy, I watch you sleep but you have to wake up. * Me and Carl became fathers ==Eva Stratt== * [''Looking at Ryland Grace while singing''] Remember, everything will be alright. We can meet again somewhere. Somewhere far away from here. And that is enough. * This might seem like me betraying you, but this is actually me believing in you. * You're smart. You'll figure it out. ==Rocky== * Rocky watch whole crew die. Could not fix. Grace say Grace will die. Rocky fix. * Amaze. Amaze. Amaze. * Fist my bump. * Rocky hate Mark. * Grumpy. Angry. Stupid. How long since last sleep, question? * Grace Rocky save stars * It is time go. * Time go fishing, question? ==Carl== * You know who you are. You're going to do great. ==Dialogue== :'''Ryland Grace''': I put the 'not' in astronaut! I've never done a space walk, I can't even moonwalk! I haven't done any training, I haven't done the whole... ..the pool thing! :'''Olesya Ilyukhina''': No, no, no. That is just we do for the picture, for social media. :'''Ryland Grace''': I'm not heroic in any way. I get sick on an elevator! :'''Yao''': Perfect. There's no elevator on the ship. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': You have a mate. How long you been together? :'''Rocky''': 186.3 years. :'''Ryland Grace''': It's like, the honeymoon phase. :'''Rocky''': No understand. :'''Ryland Grace''': That's a joke, Rock, it's a long time. You've been together a long time. :'''Rocky''': Is not enough. ---- :'''Rocky''': Words of encouragement. :'''Ryland Grace''': You can't just say "words of encouragement!" :'''Rocky''': Words of GREAT encouragement! ---- :'''Rocky''': We leave now, question? :'''Ryland Grace''': Leave now. Statement. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': Commander Yao, I really appreciate what you all are doing. :'''Yao''': I mean, you would do the same. :'''Ryland Grace''': I would choose just not to go at all. I don't have the bravery gene that you all have. :'''Yao''': Trust me. It's not a gene. You just need to find someone to be brave for. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': [''Whispering''] There's no way you can hear me right now. :'''Rocky''': Can hear. ---- :'''Rocky''': Dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty. Why room so messy, question? :'''Ryland Grace''': Well, I wasn't expecting company, was I? :'''Rocky''': This room for garbage? Ohh. ---- :'''Rocky''': How do you know when the hug is done? :'''Ryland Grace''': You just feel it. :'''Rocky''': Oh, are you feeling it now? :'''Ryland Grace''': Nope. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': We can't just show up in a spaceball unannounced and move into someone else's spaceship, right? There has to be boundaries. :'''Rocky''': Boundaries. :'''Ryland Grace''': We have one mission. :'''Rocky''': Mission. :'''Ryland Grace''': But we're two distinct individuals. :'''Rocky''': Individuals. :'''Ryland Grace''': Both working on our distinct, individual parts of that mission. :'''Rocky''': Mission. :'''Ryland Grac'''e: Separately. :'''Rocky''': Separately. :'''Ryland Grace''': Ok. :'''Rocky''': Where my bedroom? :'''Ryland Grace''': Bedroom? For what? ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': I need to get into orbit or we'll crash! :'''Rocky''': I have an idea. First, no crash. Then, no explode. Deal? :'''Ryland Grace''': [''Thumbs down''] Deal! ---- :'''Hardware Store Cashier''': Which government? :'''Carl''': All of them. ---- :'''Rocky: You are very brave. :'''Ryland Grace: I don't know about that. :'''Rocky''': You are bravest human I have ever met. :'''Ryland Grace''': Hey! :'''Rocky''': Is joke! :'''Ryland Grace''': I know. :'''Rocky''': I only meet one human. And it's you! :'''Ryland Grace''': I get it. :'''Rocky''': It's good joke. :'''Ryland Grace''': Good joke. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': It took, like, 200 years to figure out how bacteria works, so... :'''Eva Stratt''': Please do it faster. ---- :'''Eva Stratt''': The consensus here is that it would be preferable if you did not die. :'''Ryland Grace''': Thanks, guys. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': I'm gonna go to sleep. :'''Rocky''': Mm, no understand word. :'''Ryland Grace''': Sleep? Uh, just uh, you go like this. [''Lies down''] :'''Rocky''': [''Panicked''] D-d-died? Is died? Died? :'''Ryland Grace''': No... :'''Rocky''': No no no no no! :'''Ryland Grace''': Not died, just laying here for 29,000 seconds and then we... wake up. :'''Rocky''': Oh... understand. ---- :'''Eva Stratt''': Do you stand by what you wrote? :'''Ryland Grace''': I was fired for standing by what I wrote. :'''Eva Stratt''': You were fired for calling the leading scholar in your field a "staggering waste of carbon" at the UNESCO conference in Denmark. ---- :'''Rocky''': I thought you made peace, question? :'''Ryland Grace''': I didn't mean any of that. That's just something you say. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': [''Rreading from computer''] Fist my bump? No. It's fist bump. :'''Rocky''': [''On computer''] Is same. :'''Ryland Grace''': It's not the same. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': So, you really think all this is going to work? :'''Eva Stratt''': God willing. :'''Ryland Grace''': You believe in God? :'''Eva Stratt''': Beats the alternative. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': We have 1,009 of these Little Engines That Could on the Hail Mary, and, uh... :'''Yao''': [in Mandarin] This guy speaks like a child. :'''Eva Stratt''': [''In Mandarin'] It doesn't matter, you'll get used to it. :'''Yao''': Okay. :'''Eva Stratt''': [''Whispering''] You're doing great. :'''Ryland Grace''': [''Whispering''] What? ---- :'''Rocky''': What is Grace doing, question? :'''Ryland Grace''': [softly] I'm having a moment. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': Imagine, for a second, that you're an interstellar microorganism. :'''Carl''': I'm not doing that. ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': Carl and I made a baby. :'''Eva Stratt''': [''Over phone''] ... What? ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': You'll find a solution. :'''Eva Stratt''': You are my solution. ---- :'''Rocky''': Close the door! :'''Ryland Grace''': I thought you said it was safe! :'''Rocky''': I make door, you close door! ---- :'''Rocky''': More! No, no, no, left! Be left, more left, more left! Is perfect! No, wrong. :'''Mary''': Erratic maneuver detected. :'''Rocky''': No. Wrong way, wrong way. Wrong angle, bad, bad, bad. Good, good, good! Good! Bad, not enough, not enough. Too much, too much, too much! :'''Ryland Grace''': I'm barely pulling it! :'''Rocky''': Left, left, left! No, is bad. Grace Rocky dead. All Rocky plural, all Earth die, we die, we die. ---- :'''Rocky''': Grace look disgust when eat! :'''Ryland Grace''': How do you look when you eat? :'''Rocky''': It look beautiful! :'''Ryland Grace''': Show me. :'''Rocky''': [''Proceeds to demonstrate''] :'''Ryland Grace''': Oh my god. [''Tries not to gag''] ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': *Whispering to video log* He has incredible hearing. He can see through walls. Personal space is at a premium... :'''Rocky''': Who is Grace talking to Question? ---- :'''Rocky''': [''To recording''] Hello, Earth. Plan is like fishing. We get very close to Adrian atmosphere and lower collector into clouds with chain. Then Grace go on hull to reel it in. If ship not at precise angle and speed, we die. Example: We must fly backwards to keep proper velocity, even though Grace still have no pilot experience! :'''Ryland Grace''': Hey, I've been practicing, haven't I? ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': They seem to be... dimming the sun a tiny, teeny-weeny little bit. :'''Olivia''': So no big whoop? :'''Ryland Grace''': It's a-It's a small whoop. It's small-to-medium whoop. Over the next 30 years, the Earth could cool maybe 10 to... 15 degrees. :'''Olivia''': So it is a big whoop? ---- :'''Ryland Grace''': Did you get your free hat? :'''Eva Stratt''': Yeah I k-I kind of bought them? ==Taglines== * Believe in the Hail Mary ==Cast== * [[w:Ryan Gosling|Ryland Grace]] - Ryland Grace * [[w:Sandra Hüller|Sandra Hüller]] - Eva Stratt * [[w:James Ortiz|James Ortiz]] - Rocky * [[w:Lionel Boyce|Lionel Boyce]] - Carl * [[w:Milana Vayntrub|Milana Vayntrub]] - Olesya Ilyukhina * [[w:Ken Leung|Ken Leung]] - Yao * [[w:Priya Kansara|Priya Kansara]] - Mary(voice) * [[w:Mia Soteriou|Mia Soteriou]] - Dr. Browne * Annelle Olaleye - Olivia * Maya Eva Hosein - Rekha * Bastian Antonio Fuentes - Parker ==External links== {{Wikipedia}} {{Commonscat}} * {{IMDb title|id=12042730|title=Project Hail Mary}} * {{rotten-tomatoes|id=project_hail_mary|title=Galaxy Quest}} [[Category:2026 films]] [[Category:2020s American films]] [[Category:Space adventure films]] [[Category:Action science fiction films]] [[Category:Films about extraterrestrial life]] 53yhz6w3956z74v4nhyb1k9gb2khz2v 0 307337 3942069 3941688 2026-05-17T14:18:37Z En-cor-Zenodoti 3308631 Categories 3942069 wikitext text/x-wiki The '''''Sententiae''''' of '''{{w|Pseudo-Phocylides}}''' ([[w:Ancient Greek|Greek]]: Φωκυλίδου γνῶμαι, ''Phokylídou gnômai'') are an apocryphal work of Jewish {{w|wisdom literature}} falsely ascribed to {{w|Phocylides}}, a [[w:Greek philosophy|Greek philosopher]] of the 6th century BC. Textual and linguistic evidence suggests a date of composition between 100 BC and 100 AD. == Quotes == * ἢν σὺ κακῶς δικάσῃς, σὲ θεὸς μετέπειτα δικάσσει. ** If ill thou judgest, God will judge thee after. ** Line 11 * πτωχῷ δ᾿ εὐθὺ δίδου μὴ δ᾿ αὔριον ἐλθέμεν εἴπῃς. ** Give to the beggar now; bid him not come to-morrow. ** Line 22 * τὸ ξίφος ἀμφιβαλοῦ μὴ πρὸς φόνον, ἀλλ᾿ ἐς ἄμυναν. ** Gird on thy sword for safety, not for slaughter. ** Line 32 * ἡ φιλοχρημοσύνη μήτηρ κακότητος ἁπάσης. ** The love of money is the mother of all evil. ** Line 42 * Πειθὼ μὲν γὰρ ὄνειαρ, Ἔρις δ᾿ ἔριν ἀντιφυτεύει. ** Most helpful is persuasion, but strife strife begets. ** Line 78 * λαῷ μὴ πίστευε, πολύτροπός ἐστιν ὅμιλος·<br>λαὸς ⟨γὰρ⟩ καὶ ὕδωρ καὶ πῦρ ἀκατάσχετα πάντα. ** Trust not the people; fickle is the mob,<br>Like fire and water, uncontrollable. ** Line 95–96 * πνεῦμα γάρ ἐστι θεοῦ χρῆσις θνητοῖσι καὶ εἰκών. ** The spirit is the image of God, and His vehicle of communication with men. ** Line 106 * μέμνησ᾿ ὅτι θνητὸς ὑπάρχεις. ** Remember that thou art mortal. ** Line 109 * καιρῷ λατρεύειν, μὴ δ᾿ ἀντιπνέειν ἀνέμοισιν. ** Be servant of the occasion; blow not 'gainst the winds. ** Line 121 * ὅπλον τοι λόγος ἀνδρὶ τομώτερόν ἐστι σιδήρου. ** The tongue's a sharper weapon than the sword. ** Line 124 * ἀμφότεροι κλῶπες, καὶ ὁ δεξάμενος καὶ ὁ κλέψας. ** Thieves are they both, who steals and who receives. ** Line 136 * ἀρχόμενον τὸ κακὸν κόπτειν ἕλκος τ᾿ ἀκέσασθαι. ** When first the canker shows use steel, and staunch the wound. ** Line 143 * μὴ κακὸν εὖ ἔρξῃς· σπείρειν ἴσον ἔστ᾿ ἐνὶ πόντῳ. ** Seek not the bad to benefit; 'tis sowing seed in the ocean. ** Line 152 * αἰδεῖσθαι πολιοκροτάφους, εἴκειιν δὲ γέρουσιν<br>ἕδρης καὶ γεράων πάντων. ** Aye reverence grey hairs, and to the aged<br>Yield up your seat, and every mark of honour. ** Lines 220–221 == References == ;Text * Young, Thomas. ''Theognis, Ps.-Pythogoras, Ps.-Phocylides, Chares, Anonymi aulodia, fragmentum teliambicum''. Stuttgart-Leipzig: B. G. Teubner, ²1971. ;Translations * Harbottle, Thomas Benfield. ''Dictionary of Quotations (Classical)''. London: Swan Sonnenschein, 1897. [https://archive.org/details/dictionaryofquot00harbiala/page/n7/mode/2up Internet Archive] == External links == {{wikipedia}} [[Category:Ancient Greek texts]] [[Category:Jewish texts]] l47bxt026y3f54ohnwtjvslpfd8fqv0 3942082 3942069 2026-05-17T15:17:04Z En-cor-Zenodoti 3308631 philosopher > gnomic poet 3942082 wikitext text/x-wiki The '''''Sententiae''''' of '''{{w|Pseudo-Phocylides}}''' ([[w:Ancient Greek|Greek]]: Φωκυλίδου γνῶμαι, ''Phokylídou gnômai'') are an apocryphal work of Jewish {{w|wisdom literature}} falsely ascribed to {{w|Phocylides}}, a Greek [[w:Gnomic poetry|gnomic poet]] of the 6th century BC. Textual and linguistic evidence suggests a date of composition between 100 BC and 100 AD. == Quotes == * ἢν σὺ κακῶς δικάσῃς, σὲ θεὸς μετέπειτα δικάσσει. ** If ill thou judgest, God will judge thee after. ** Line 11 * πτωχῷ δ᾿ εὐθὺ δίδου μὴ δ᾿ αὔριον ἐλθέμεν εἴπῃς. ** Give to the beggar now; bid him not come to-morrow. ** Line 22 * τὸ ξίφος ἀμφιβαλοῦ μὴ πρὸς φόνον, ἀλλ᾿ ἐς ἄμυναν. ** Gird on thy sword for safety, not for slaughter. ** Line 32 * ἡ φιλοχρημοσύνη μήτηρ κακότητος ἁπάσης. ** The love of money is the mother of all evil. ** Line 42 * Πειθὼ μὲν γὰρ ὄνειαρ, Ἔρις δ᾿ ἔριν ἀντιφυτεύει. ** Most helpful is persuasion, but strife strife begets. ** Line 78 * λαῷ μὴ πίστευε, πολύτροπός ἐστιν ὅμιλος·<br>λαὸς ⟨γὰρ⟩ καὶ ὕδωρ καὶ πῦρ ἀκατάσχετα πάντα. ** Trust not the people; fickle is the mob,<br>Like fire and water, uncontrollable. ** Line 95–96 * πνεῦμα γάρ ἐστι θεοῦ χρῆσις θνητοῖσι καὶ εἰκών. ** The spirit is the image of God, and His vehicle of communication with men. ** Line 106 * μέμνησ᾿ ὅτι θνητὸς ὑπάρχεις. ** Remember that thou art mortal. ** Line 109 * καιρῷ λατρεύειν, μὴ δ᾿ ἀντιπνέειν ἀνέμοισιν. ** Be servant of the occasion; blow not 'gainst the winds. ** Line 121 * ὅπλον τοι λόγος ἀνδρὶ τομώτερόν ἐστι σιδήρου. ** The tongue's a sharper weapon than the sword. ** Line 124 * ἀμφότεροι κλῶπες, καὶ ὁ δεξάμενος καὶ ὁ κλέψας. ** Thieves are they both, who steals and who receives. ** Line 136 * ἀρχόμενον τὸ κακὸν κόπτειν ἕλκος τ᾿ ἀκέσασθαι. ** When first the canker shows use steel, and staunch the wound. ** Line 143 * μὴ κακὸν εὖ ἔρξῃς· σπείρειν ἴσον ἔστ᾿ ἐνὶ πόντῳ. ** Seek not the bad to benefit; 'tis sowing seed in the ocean. ** Line 152 * αἰδεῖσθαι πολιοκροτάφους, εἴκειιν δὲ γέρουσιν<br>ἕδρης καὶ γεράων πάντων. ** Aye reverence grey hairs, and to the aged<br>Yield up your seat, and every mark of honour. ** Lines 220–221 == References == ;Text * Young, Thomas. ''Theognis, Ps.-Pythogoras, Ps.-Phocylides, Chares, Anonymi aulodia, fragmentum teliambicum''. Stuttgart-Leipzig: B. G. Teubner, ²1971. ;Translations * Harbottle, Thomas Benfield. ''Dictionary of Quotations (Classical)''. London: Swan Sonnenschein, 1897. [https://archive.org/details/dictionaryofquot00harbiala/page/n7/mode/2up Internet Archive] == External links == {{wikipedia}} [[Category:Ancient Greek texts]] [[Category:Jewish texts]] 8eqiqiyxap02i0tpgjh969gyagh3v9k 2 307381 3942034 3942008 2026-05-17T12:23:36Z Ficaia 3085955 3942034 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Wallace Stevens, 1948.jpg|thumb|I like my [[philosophy]] smothered in [[beauty]] and not the opposite.]] '''[[w:Wallace Stevens|Wallace Stevens]]''' ([[2 October]] [[1879]] – [[2 August]] [[1955]]) was an American modernist [[poet]] and [[businessman]]. == Quotes == [[File:Dr. Ambedkar with Mr. Wallace Stevens at Columbia University, New York (USA), while receiving LL.D. (Doctorate of Laws) for being the 'Chief Architect of the Constitution of India'.jpg|thumb|One ought not to hoard culture. It should be adapted and infused into society as a leaven.]] * One ought not to hoard [[culture]]. It should be adapted and infused into society as a leaven. Liberality of culture does not mean illiberality of its benefits. ** Journal entry (June 20, 1899); in Holly Stevens, ed., ''Souvenirs and Prophecies: The Young Wallace Stevens'' (New York: Knopf, 1977), ch. 3 * A diary is more or less the work of a man of clay whose hands are clumsy and in whose eyes there is no light. ** Journal entry (July 26, 1899); in ''Souvenirs and Prophecies'', ch. 3 * Poor, dear, silly Spring, preparing her annual surprise! ** Journal entry (March 4, 1906), in ''Souvenirs and Prophecies'', ch. 8 * In European thought in general, as contrasted with American, vigor, life and originality have a kind of easy, professional utterance. American — on the other hand, is expressed in an eager amateurish way. A European gives a sense of scope, of survey, of consideration. An American is strained, sensational. One is artistic gold; the other is bullion. ** Journal entry (April 9, 1906); in Holly Stevens, ed., ''Letters of Wallace Stevens'' (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1966), no. 112 * '''To be young is all there is in the world.''' The rest is nonsense — and cant. They talk so beautifully about [[work]] and having a family and a home (and I do, too, sometimes) — but it's all worry and head-aches and respectable poverty and forced gushing. ... Telling people how nice it is, when, in reality, you would give all of your last thirty years for one of your first thirty. Old people are tremendous frauds. ** Letter to his future wife Elsie Moll Kachel (March 21, 1907); in ''Letters of Wallace Stevens'', no. 125 * How full of trifles everything is! It is only one’s [[thoughts]] that fill a room with something more than furniture. ** Letter to his future wife Elsie Moll Kachel (May 16, 1907); in ''Souvenirs and Prophecies'', ch. 9 * Unfortunately there is nothing more inane than an Easter carol. It is a religious perversion of the activity of [[Spring]] in our blood. ** Letter to his future wife, Elsie Moll Kachel (April 23, 1916); in ''Letters of Wallace Stevens'', no. 202 * The day of the [[sun]] is like the day of a king. It is a promenade in the [[morning]], a sitting on the throne at noon, a pageant in the evening. ** Journal entry (April 20, 1920); in ''Souvenirs and Prophecies'', ch. 6 [[File:Casa Marina, Key West, Florida - Wallace Stevens (cropped).jpg|thumb|Everything is [[complicated]]; if that were not so, life and poetry and everything else would be a bore.]] * '''Everything is complicated'''; if that were not so, life and poetry and everything else would be a bore. ** Letter (December 19, 1935); in ''Letters of Wallace Stevens'', no. 336 * If some really acute observer made as much of [[egotism]] as [[Sigmund Freud|Freud]] has made of [[sex]], people would forget a good deal about sex and find the explanation for everything in egotism. ** Letter (January 10, 1936); in ''Letters of Wallace Stevens'', no. 339 * The essential thing in form is to be free in whatever form is used. A free form does not assure freedom. As a form, it is just one more form. So that it comes to this, I suppose, that I believe in freedom regardless of form. ** "A Note on Poetry" (1937); in William Rose Benét and Norman Holmes Pearson, eds., ''The Oxford Anthology of American Literature'', vol. 2 (New York: Oxford UP, 1938), p. 1325 * Poetry is poetry, and one’s objective as a poet is to achieve poetry precisely as one’s objective in music is to achieve music. ** "Why He Selected 'Domination in Black'", in Whit Burnett, ed., ''This Is My Best'' (New York: The Dial Press, 1942), p. 652 * The palm at the end of the mind,<br>Beyond the last thought, rises...{{pb}}A gold-feathered bird<br>Sings in the palm. ** "Of Mere Being", sts. 1–2, in Holly Stevens, ed., ''The Palm at the End of the Mind: Selected Poems and a Play'' (New York: Vintage, 1972), p. 398 === ''Harmonium'' (1923) === [[File:An elderly Tibetan women holding a prayer wheel on Lhasa, Barkhor.jpg|thumb|The dress of a woman of Lhassa, <br> in its place <br> is an invisible element of that place <br> made visible.]] * '''Poetry is the supreme fiction, madame.''' <br> Take the moral law and make a [[w:Nave|nave]] of it <br> And from the nave build haunted heaven. Thus, <br> The conscience is converted into palms, <br> Like windy [[w:Cittern|citherns]] hankering for hymns. ** "[[w:A High-Toned Old Christian Woman|A High-Toned Old Christian Woman]]", l. 1 ** First published in ''The Dial'', no. 73 (July 1922) * We agree in principle. That's clear. But take <br> The opposing law and make a [[w:peristyle|peristyle]], <br> And from the peristyle project a masque <br> Beyond the planets. Thus, our bawdiness, <br> Unpurged by epitaph, indulged at last, <br> Is equally converted into palms, <br> Squiggling like saxophones. And palm for palm, <br> Madame, we are where we began. ** "A High-Toned Old Christian Woman", l. 6 * This will make widows wince. But fictive things <br> Wink as they will. Wink most when widows wince. ** "A High-Toned Old Christian Woman", l. 21 * I placed a jar in Tennessee <br> And round it was, upon a hill. <br> It made the slovenly wilderness <br> Surround that hill. <br> The wilderness rose upon it, <br> And sprawled around, no longer wild. ** "[[w:Anecdote of the Jar|Anecdote of the Jar]]" * It took dominion everywhere. <br> The jar was gray and bare. <br> It did not give of bird or bush, <br> Like nothing else in Tennessee. ** "Anecdote of the Jar" * The soul, he said, is composed <br> Of the external world. ** "[[w:Anecdote of Men by the Thousand|Anecdote of Men by the Thousand]]" * '''There are men of the East, he said, <br> who are the East.''' <br> There are men of a province <br> who are that province. <br> There are men of a valley <br> who are that valley. ** "Anecdote of Men by the Thousand" * The dress of a woman of Lhassa, <br> in its place <br> is an invisible element of that place <br> made visible. ** "Anecdote of Men by the Thousand" * Chieftain Iffucan of Azcan in caftan<br>Of tan with henna hackles, halt! ** "[[w:Bantam in Pine-Woods|Bantam in Pine-Woods]]", st. 1 * Damned universal cock, as if the sun<br>Was blackamoor to bear your blazing tail. ** "Bantam in Pine-Woods", st. 2 * The houses are haunted<br>By white night-gowns.<br>None are green,<br>Or purple with green rings,<br>Or green with yellow rings,<br>Or yellow with blue rings.<br>None of them are strange,<br>With socks of lace<br>And beaded ceintures.<br>People are not going<br>To dream of baboons and periwinkles.<br>'''Only, here and there, an old sailor,<br>Drunk and asleep in his boots,<br>Catches tigers<br>In red weather.''' ** "[[w:Disillusionment of Ten O'Clock|Disillusionment of Ten O'Clock]]" [[File:PeackockSide.jpg|thumb|right|I heard them cry — the peacocks.]] <!--[[File:PavoReal albino.jpg|thumb|I felt afraid. <br> And I remembered the cry of the peacocks.]]--> * '''I heard them cry — the peacocks.''' <br> Was it a cry against the twilight <br> Or against the leaves themselves <br> Turning in the wind, <br> Turning as the flames <br> Turned in the fire, <br> Turning as the tails of the peacocks <br> Turned in the loud fire, <br> Loud as the hemlocks <br> Full of the cry of the peacocks? <br> Or was it a cry against the hemlocks? ** "Domination of Black" * I saw how the night came, <br> Came striding like the color of the heavy hemlocks. <br> I felt afraid. <br> And I remembered the cry of the peacocks. ** "Domination of Black" * Frogs Eat Butterflies. Snakes Eat Frogs. Hogs Eat Snakes. Men Eat Hogs. ** [[w:Frogs Eat Butterflies. Snakes Eat Frogs. Hogs Eat Snakes. Men Eat Hogs|Title of poem]] * That strange flower, the [[sun]], <br> Is just what you say. <br> Have it your way.{{pb}}The world is ugly, <br> And the people are sad. ** "Gubbinal" * That tuft of jungle feathers, <br> That animal eye, <br> Is just what you say.{{pb}}That savage of fire, <br> That seed, <br> Have it your way.{{pb}}The world is ugly, <br> And the people are sad. ** "Gubbinal" * Twenty men crossing a bridge, <br> Into a village, <br> Are twenty men crossing twenty bridges, <br> Into twenty villages, <br> Or one man <br> Crossing a single bridge into a village. ** "[[w:Metaphors of a Magnifico|Metaphors of a Magnifico]]" * This is old song <br> That will not declare itself. ** "Metaphors of a Magnifico" * Twenty men crossing a bridge, <br> Into a village, <br> Are <br> Twenty men crossing a bridge <br> Into a village. ** "Metaphors of a Magnifico" * The boots of the men clump <br> On the boards of the bridge. <br> The first white wall of the village <br> Rises through fruit-trees. <br> Of what was it I was thinking? <br> So the meaning escapes. ** "Metaphors of a Magnifico" [[File:STS-95 Florida From Space.jpg|thumb|A few things for themselves, <br> [[Florida]], venereal soil, <br> Disclose to the lover.]] * A few things for themselves, <br> [[Florida]], venereal soil, <br> Disclose to the lover. ** "[[w:O Florida, Venereal Soil|O Florida, Venereal Soil]]" * Donna, donna, dark, <br> Stooping in indigo gown <br> And cloudy constellations, <br> Conceal yourself or disclose <br> Fewest things to the lover — <br> A hand that bears a thick-leaved fruit, <br> A pungent bloom against your shade. ** "O Florida, Venereal Soil" * Gloomy grammarians in golden gowns, <br> Meekly you keep the mortal rendezvous, <br> Eliciting the still sustaining pomps <br> Of speech which are like music so profound <br> They seem an exaltation without sound. ** "[[w:On the Manner of Addressing Clouds|On the Manner of Addressing Clouds]]" * These <br> Are the [[music]] of meet resignation; these <br> The responsive, still sustaining pomps for you <br> To magnify, if in that drifting waste <br> You are to be accompanied by more <br> Than mute bare splendors of the [[sun]] and [[moon]]. ** "On the Manner of Addressing Clouds" [[File:Stuck Susanna.jpg|thumb|Susanna's music touched the bawdy strings <br> Of those white elders; but, escaping, <br> Left only Death's ironic scraping.]] * Just as my fingers on these keys <br> Make music, so the self-same sounds <br> On my spirit make a music, too. <br> '''Music is feeling, then, not sound; <br> And thus it is that what I feel, <br> Here in this room, desiring you, <br> Thinking of your blue-shadowed silk, <br> Is music.''' ** "[[w:Peter Quince at the Clavier|Peter Quince at the Clavier]]", I ** First published in [[w:Others: A Magazine of the New Verse|''Others: A Magazine of the New Verse'']] (1915) * In the green water, clear and warm, <br> [[w:Susanna (Book of Daniel)|Susanna]] lay. <br> She searched <br> The touch of springs, <br> And found <br> Concealed imaginings. <br> She sighed, <br> For so much melody. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", II * Upon the bank, she stood <br> In the cool <br> Of spent emotions. <br> She felt, among the leaves, <br> The dew <br> Of old devotions. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", II * She walked upon the grass, <br> Still quavering. <br> The winds were like her maids, <br> On timid feet, <br> Fetching her woven scarves, <br> Yet wavering. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", II * A breath upon her hand <br> Muted the night. <br> She turned — <br> A cymbal crashed, <br> Amid roaring horns. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", II * '''Beauty is momentary in the mind — <br> The fitful tracing of a portal; <br> But in the flesh it is immortal. {{pb}} The body dies; the body's beauty lives.''' <br> So evenings die, in their green going, <br> A wave, interminably flowing. <br> So gardens die, their meek breath scenting <br> The cowl of winter, done repenting. <br> So maidens die, to the auroral <br> Celebration of a maiden's choral. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", IV * Susanna's music touched the bawdy strings <br> Of those white elders; but, escaping, <br> Left only Death's ironic scraping. <br> Now, in its immortality, it plays <br> On the clear viol of her memory, <br> And makes a constant sacrament of praise. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", IV [[File:Picswiss NW-26-35.jpg|thumb|[[Death]] is the mother of [[Beauty]].]] * Complacencies of the peignoir, and late<br>Coffee and oranges in a sunny chair,<br>And the green freedom of a cockatoo<br>Upon a rug mingle to dissipate<br>The holy hush of ancient sacrifice. ** "[[w:Sunday Morning (poem)|Sunday Morning]]", I * What is divinity if it can come<br>Only in silent shadows and in dreams? ** "Sunday Morning", II * She says, "But in contentment I still feel<br>The need of some imperishable bliss.<br>"'''Death is the mother of Beauty'''; hence from her,<br>Alone, shall come fulfilment to our dreams<br>And our desires. ** "Sunday Morning", V * We live in an old chaos of the sun, <br> Or an old dependency of day and night, <br> Or island solitude, unsponsored, free, <br> Of that wide water, inescapable.<br> Deer walk upon our mountains, and quail <br> Whistle about us their spontaneous cries; <br> Sweet berries ripen in the wilderness; <br> And, in the isolation of the sky, <br> At evening, casual flocks of pigeons make <br> Ambiguous undulations as they sink, <br> Downward to darkness, on extended wings. ** "Sunday Morning", VIII * The book of moonlight is not written yet. ** "[[w:The Comedian as the Letter C|The Comedian as the Letter C]]", III, st. 1 * And as he came he saw that it was spring,<br>A time abhorrent to the nihilist<br>Or searcher for the fecund minimum. ** "The Comedian as the Letter C", III, st. 4 * The natives of the rain are rainy men. ** "The Comedian as the Letter C", IV, st. 1 * The plum survives its poems. ** "The Comedian as the Letter C", V, st. 1 * Green crammers of the green fruits of the world. ** "The Comedian as the Letter C", VI, st. 2 [[File:Standard guide to Cuba - a new and complete guide to the island of Cuba, with maps, illustrations, routes of travel, history, and an English-Spanish phrase book (1909) (14594902008).jpg|thumb|Let be be finale of seem. <br> The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.]] <!--[[File:Women and Child - Cienfuegos - Cuba (3794729068).jpg|thumb|]]--> * Call the roller of big cigars,<br>The muscular one, and bid him whip<br>In kitchen cups concupiscent curds.<br>Let the wenches dawdle in such dress <br> As they are used to wear, and let the boys <br> Bring flowers in last month's newspapers. <br> '''Let be be finale of seem. <br> The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.''' ** "[[w:The Emperor of Ice-Cream|The Emperor of Ice-Cream]]", st. 1 <!-- [http://www.english.uiuc.edu/maps/poets/s_z/stevens/emperor.htm Commentary on this poem] at ''Modern American Poetry'' (University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign) // Compare: ''[[Hamlet]]'', act 1, sc. 2, ll. 70-89; act 4, sc. 3, ll. 19-28 (Folger Shakespeare Online) --> * Take from the dresser of deal, <br> Lacking the three glass knobs, that sheet <br> On which she embroidered fantails once <br> And spread it so as to cover her face. <br> If her horny feet protrude, they come <br> To show how cold she is, and dumb. <br> Let the lamp affix its beam. <br> The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream. ** "The Emperor of Ice-Cream", st. 2 * The essential gaudiness of poetry. ** "The Emperor of Ice Cream", note [[File:2026-03-01 Snow in Tsqneti Forest Park.jpg|thumb|One must have a mind of winter <br> To regard the frost and the boughs <br> Of the pine-trees crusted with snow;<br>* * *<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;and not to think <br> Of any misery in the sound of the wind.]] * One must have a mind of winter <br> To regard the frost and the boughs <br> Of the pine-trees crusted with snow;{{pb}}And have been cold a long time <br> To behold the junipers shagged with ice, <br> The spruces rough in the distant glitter{{pb}}Of the January sun; and not to think <br> Of any misery in the sound of the wind, <br> In the sound of a few leaves,{{pb}}Which is the sound of the land <br> Full of the same wind <br> That is blowing in the same bare place{{pb}}For the listener, who listens in the snow, <br> And, nothing himself, beholds <br> Nothing that is not there and the nothing that is. ** "[[w:The Snow Man|The Snow Man]]" [[File:Boat-tailed Grackle, Sea Trail golf course, North Carolina RWD.jpg|thumb|Among twenty snowy mountains, <br> The only moving thing <br> Was the eye of the [[blackbird]].]] <!--[[File:Library Walk 22.JPG|thumb|I do not know which to prefer, <br> The beauty of inflections <br> Or the beauty of innuendoes, <br> The blackbird whistling <br> Or just after.]]--> * Among twenty snowy mountains, <br> The only moving thing <br> Was the eye of the blackbird. ** "[[w:Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird|Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird]]", I <!-- [http://boppin.com/poets/stevens.htm Full text online] // Sam Swope, [http://www.samswope.org/work2.htm "The Blackbird Is Flying, The Children Must Be Writing"] (an essay on the use of this poem as a teaching tool) --> * A man and a woman <br> Are [[Unity|one]]. <br> A man and a woman and a blackbird <br> Are one. ** "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird", IV * I do not know which to prefer, <br> The beauty of inflections <br> Or the beauty of innuendoes, <br> The blackbird whistling <br> Or just after. ** "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird", V * O thin men of Haddam, <br> Why do you imagine golden birds? <br> Do you not see how the blackbird <br> Walks around the feet <br> Of the women about you? ** "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird", VII * I know noble accents <br> And lucid, inescapable rhythms; <br> But I know, too, <br> That the blackbird is involved <br> In what I know. ** "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird", VIII * It was evening all afternoon. <br> It was snowing <br> And it was going to snow. <br> The blackbird sat <br> In the cedar-limbs. ** "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird", XIII * My candle burned alone in an immense valley. <br> Beams of the huge night converged upon it, <br> Until the wind blew. <br> Then beams of the huge night <br> Converged upon its image, <br> Until the wind blew. ** "Valley Candle" === ''Ideas of Order'' (1936) === * '''She sang beyond the genius of the sea.'''<br>The water never formed to mind or voice,<br>Like a body wholly body, fluttering<br>Its empty sleeves; and yet its mimic motion<br>Made constant cry, caused constantly a cry,<br>That was not ours although we understood,<br>Inhuman, of the veritable ocean. ** "[[w:The Idea of Order at Key West|The Idea of Order at Key West]]", st. 1 * Oh! Blessed rage for order, pale Ramon,<br>The maker’s rage to order words of the sea,<br>Words of the fragrant portals, dimly-starred,<br>And of ourselves and of our origins,<br>In ghostlier demarcations, keener sounds. ** "The Idea of Order at Key West", st. 7 * The sun, that brave man, <br> Comes through boughs that lie in wait, <br> That brave man.{{pb}}Green and gloomy eyes <br> In dark forms of the grass <br> Run away.{{pb}}The good stars, <br> Pale helms and spiky spurs, <br> Run away.{{pb}}Fears of my bed, <br> Fears of life and fears of death, <br> Run away.{{pb}}That brave man comes up <br> From below and walks without meditation, <br> That brave man. ** "The Brave Man" === ''The Man With the Blue Guitar'' (1937) === [[File:Bill Lewis. Guitar, Woman, Snake.jpg|thumb|But play, you must, <br> A tune beyond us, yet ourselves, <br> A tune upon the blue guitar <br> Of things exactly as they are.]] [[File:Anatomia del corpo humano.jpg|thumb|Things as they are have been destroyed. <br> Have I? Am I a man that is dead <br> At a table on which the food is cold?]] * The man bent over his guitar, <br> A shearsman of sorts. The day was green. {{pb}} '''They said, "You have a blue guitar, <br> You do not play things as they are." {{pb}} The man replied, "Things as they are <br> Are changed upon the blue guitar."''' {{pb}} And they said then, "But play, you must, <br> A tune beyond us, yet ourselves, {{pb}} A tune upon the blue guitar <br> Of things exactly as they are." ** I * If to serenade almost to man <br> Is to miss, by that, things as they are, <br> Say that it is the serenade <br> Of a man that plays a blue guitar. ** II * So that's life, then: things are they are? <br> It picks its way on the blue guitar. <br> A million people on one string? <br> And all their manner in the thing, <br> And all their manner, right and wrong, <br> And all their manner, weak and strong? <br> '''And that's life, then: things as they are, <br> This buzzing of the blue guitar.''' ** IV * Do not speak to us of the greatness of poetry, <br> Of the torches wisping in the underground, <br> Of the structure of vaults upon a point of light. <br> There are no shadows in our sun, <br> Day is desire and night is sleep. <br> There are no shadows anywhere. <br> The earth, for us, is flat and bare. <br> There are no shadows. ** V * The thinking of [[art]] seems final when <br> The thinking of [[god]] is smoky dew. ** VI * It is the sun that shares our works. <br> The moon shares nothing. It is a sea. <br> When shall I come to say of the sun, <br> It is a sea; it shares nothing; <br> The sun no longer shares our works <br> And the [[earth]] is alive with creeping men, <br> Mechanical beetles never quite warm? <br> And shall I then stand in the sun, as now <br> I stand in the moon, and call it good, <br> The immaculate, the merciful good, <br> Detached from us, from things as they are? <br> Not to be part of the sun? To stand <br> Remote and call it merciful? <br> The strings are cold on the blue guitar. ** VII * Struggling toward impassioned choirs, <br> Crying among the [[clouds]], enraged <br> By gold antagonists in air — <br> I know my lazy, leaden twang <br> Is like the reason in a [[storm]]; <br> And yet it brings the storm to bear. <br> I twang it out and leave it there. ** VIII * And the color, the overcast blue <br> Of the air, in which the blue guitar <br> Is a form, described but difficult, <br> And I am merely a shadow hunched <br> Above the arrowy, still string, <br> The maker of a thing yet to be made; <br> The color like a thought that grows <br> Out of a mood, the tragic robe <br> Of the actor, half his gesture, half <br> His speech, the dress of his meaning, silk <br> Sodden with his melancholy words, <br> The weather of his stage, himself. ** IX * Behold <br> The approach of him whom none believes, <br> Whom all believe that all believe, <br> A pagan in a varnished car. ** X * Slowly the ivy on the stones <br> Becomes the stones. Women become <br> The cities, children become the fields <br> And men in waves become the sea. ** XI * The sea returns upon the men, <br> The fields entrap the children, brick <br> Is a weed and all the flies are caught, <br> Wingless and withered, but living alive. <br> The discord merely magnified. <br> Deeper within the belly's dark <br> Of [[time]], time grows upon the rock. ** XI * The blue guitar <br> And I are one. ** XII * I know that timid breathing. Where <br> Do I begin and end? And where, <br> As I strum the thing, do I pick up <br> That which momentously declares <br> Itself not to be I and yet <br> Must be. It could be nothing else. ** XII * Be content — <br> Expansions, diffusions — content to be <br> The unspotted imbecile revery, <br> The heraldic center of the world <br> Of blue, blue sleek with a hundred chins, <br> The amorist Adjective aflame. ** XIII * First one beam, then another, then <br> A thousand are radiant in the sky. <br> Each is both star and orb; and day <br> Is the riches of their atmosphere. ** XIV * A candle is enough to light the world. <br> It makes it clear. Even at noon <br> It glistens in essential dark. <br> At night, it lights the fruit and wine, <br> The book and bread, things as they are. ** XIV * Things as they are have been destroyed. <br> Have I? Am I a man that is dead <br> At a table on which the food is cold? <br> Is my thought a memory, not alive? <br> Is the spot on the floor, there, wine or blood <br> And whichever it may be, is it mine? ** XV * Place honey on the altars and die, <br> You lovers that are bitter at heart. ** XVI * That I may reduce the monster to <br> Myself, and then may be myself <br> In face of the monster, be more than part <br> Of it, more than the monstrous player of <br> One of its monstrous lutes, not be <br> Alone, but reduce the monster and be, <br> Two things, the two together as one, <br> And play of the monster and of myself, <br> Or better not of myself at all, <br> But of that as its intelligence, <br> Being the lion in the lute <br> Before the lion locked in stone. ** XIX * What is there in life except one's ideas. <br> Good air, good friend, what is there in life? <br> Is it ideas that I believe? ** XX * A substitute for all the gods: <br> This self, not that gold self aloft, <br> Alone, one's shadow magnified, <br> Lord of the body, looking down, <br> As now and called most high, <br> The shadow of Chocorua <br> In an immenser heaven, aloft, <br> Alone, lord of the land and lord <br> Of the men that live in the land, high lord. <br> One's self and the mountains of one's land, <br> Without shadows, without magnificence, <br> The flesh, the bone, the dirt, the stone. ** XXI * '''Poetry is the subject of the poem''', <br> From this the poem issues and <br> To this returns. Between the two, <br> Between issue and return, there is <br> An absence in reality, <br> Things as they are. Or so we say. <br> But are these separate? ** XXII * I play. But this is what I think. ** XXIV * The swarm of thoughts, the swarm of dreams <br> Of inaccessible Utopia. <br> A mountainous music always seemed <br> To be falling and to be passing away. ** XXVI * It is the sea that whitens the roof. <br> The sea drifts through the winter air. <br> It is the sea that the north wind makes. <br> The sea is in the falling snow. <br> This gloom is the darkness of the sea. ** XXVII * I am a native in this world <br> And think in it as a native thinks. ** XXVIII * The wind in which the dead leaves blow. <br> Here I inhale profounder strength <br> And as I am, I speak and move <br> And things are as I think they are <br> And say they are on the blue guitar. ** XXVIII * What is beyond the cathedral, outside, <br> Balances with nuptial song. <br> So it is to sit and to balance things <br> To and to and to the point of still, <br> To say of one mask it is like, <br> To say of another it is like, <br> To know that the balance does not quite rest, <br> That the mask is strange, however like. ** XXIX * Throw away the lights, the definitions, <br> And say of what you see in the dark <br> That it is this or that it is that, <br> But do not use the rotted names. <br> How should you walk in that space and know <br> Nothing of the madness of space, <br> Nothing of its jocular procreations? <br> Throw the lights away. Nothing must stand <br> Between you and the shapes you take <br> When the crust of shape has been destroyed. ** XXXII * Here is the bread of time to come, <br> Here is its actual stone. The bread <br> Will be our bread, the stone will be <br> Our bed and we shall sleep by night. <br> We shall forget by day, except <br> The [[moments]] when we choose to play <br> The imagined pine, the imagined jay. ** XXXIII === ''Notes Toward a Supreme Fiction'' (1942) === ==== It Must Be Abstract ==== [[File:Apolocitaredo8.jpg|thumb|There was a myth before the myth began, <br> Venerable and articulate and complete.]] [[File:Nieslysz SunSet.JPG|thumb|Perhaps <br> The truth depends on a walk around a lake.]] * Begin, ephebe, by perceiving the idea <br> Of this invention, this invented world, <br> The inconceivable idea of the sun.{{pb}}'''You must become an ignorant man again <br> And see the sun again with an ignorant eye <br> And see it clearly in the idea of it.'''{{pb}}Never suppose an inventing mind as source <br> Of this idea nor for that mind compose <br> A voluminous master folded in his fire. ** I * The death of one god is the death of all. ** I * Phoebus is dead, ephebe. But Phoebus was <br> A name for something that never could be named. <br> There was a project for the sun and is.{{pb}}There is a project for the sun. The sun <br> Must bear no name, gold flourisher, but be <br> In the difficulty of what it is to be. ** I * So poisonous{{pb}}Are the ravishments of truth, so fatal to <br> The truth itself, the first idea becomes <br> The hermit in a poet’s metaphors,{{pb}}Who comes and goes and comes and goes all day. ** II * The monastic man is an artist.The philosopher <br> Appoints man’s place in music, say, today. <br> But the priest desires. The philosopher desires.{{pb}}And not to have is the beginning of desire. <br> To have what is not is its ancient cycle. ** II * It is the celestial ennui of apartments<br>That sends us back to the first idea. ** II * The poem refreshes life so that we share, <br> For a moment, the first idea... It satisfies <br> Belief in an immaculate beginning{{pb}}And sends us, winged by an unconscious will, <br> To an immaculate end. ** III * The poem, through candor, brings back a power again <br> That gives a candid kind to everything. ** III * Life’s nonsense pierces us with strange relation. ** III * And still the grossest iridescence of ocean<br>Howls hoo and rises and howls hoo and falls. ** III * The first idea was not our own. Adam <br> In Eden was the father of Descartes <br> And eve made air the mirror of herself,{{pb}}Of her sons and of her daughters. ** IV * The clouds preceded us.{{pb}}There was a muddy centre before we breathed. <br> There was a myth before the myth began, <br> Venerable and articulate and complete.{{pb}}From this the poem springs: that we live in a place <br> That is not our own and, much more, not ourselves <br> And hard it is in spite of blazoned days. ** IV * We are the mimics. Clouds are pedagogues. ** IV * Abysmal instruments make sounds like pips <br> Of the sweeping meanings that we add to them. ** IV * Yet voluble of dumb violence. You look <br> Across the roofs as sigil and as ward <br> And in your centre mark them and are cowed. ** V * Not to be realized because not to <br> Be seen, not to be loved nor hated because <br> Not to be realized. ** VI * Without a name and nothing to be desired, <br> If only imagined but imagined well. ** VI * My house has changed a little in the sun. <br> The fragrance of the magnolias come close, <br> False flick, false form, but falseness close to kin. ** VI * It must be visible or invisible, <br> Invisible or visible or both: <br> A seeing and unseeing in the eye.{{pb}}The weather and the giant of the weather, <br> Say the weather, the mere weather, the mere air: <br> An abstraction blooded, as a man by thought. ** VI * Perhaps <br> The truth depends on a walk around a lake,{{pb}}A composing as the body tires, a stop <br> To see hepatica, a stop to watch <br> A definition growing certain and{{pb}}A wait within that certainty, a rest <br> In the swags of pine-trees bordering the lake. <br> Perhaps there are times of inherent excellence. ** VII * As a man and woman meet and love forthwith. <br> Perhaps there are moments of awakening, <br> Extreme, fortuitous, personal, in which{{pb}}We more than awaken, sit on the edge of sleep, <br> As on an elevation, and behold <br> The academies like structures in a mist. ** VII * The first idea is an imagined thing. ** VIII * Logos and logic, crystal hypothesis, <br> Incipit and a form to speak the word <br> And every latent double in the word, {{pb}} Beau linguist. ** VIII * He might take habit, whether from wave or phrase,{{pb}}Or power of the wave, or deepened speech, <br> Or a leaner being, moving in on him, <br> Of greater aptitude and apprehension,{{pb}}As if the waves at last were never broken, <br> As if the language suddenly, with ease, <br> Said things it had laboriously spoken. ** VIII * The romantic intoning, the declaimed clairvoyance <br> Are parts of apotheosis, appropriate <br> And of its nature, the idiom thereof. ** IX * Apotheosis is not <br> The origin of the major man. He comes,{{pb}}Compact in invincible foils, from reason, <br> Lighted at midnight by the studious eye, <br> Swaddled in revery, the object of{{pb}}The hum of thoughts evaded in the mind. ** IX * My dame, sing for this person accurate songs. ** IX * He is and may be but oh! He is, he is, <br> This foundling of the infected past, so bright, <br> So moving in the manner of his hand.{{pb}}Yet look not at his colored eyes. Give him <br> No names. Dismiss him from your images. <br> The hot of him is purest in the heart. ** IX * The major abstraction is the idea of man <br> And major man is its exponent, abler <br> In the abstract than in his singular,{{pb}}More fecund as principle than particle. ** X * In being more than an exception, part,{{pb}}Though an heroic part, of the commonal. <br> The major abstraction is the commonal, <br> The inanimate, difficult visage. ** X * What chieftain, walking by himself, crying <br> Most miserable, most victorious, {{pb}} Does not see these separate figures one by one, <br> And yet see only one, in his old coat, <br> His slouching pantaloons, beyond the town,{{pb}}Looking for what was, where it used to be? ** X * It is of him, ephebe, to make, to confect <br> The final elegance, not to console <br> Nor sanctify, but plainly to propound. ** X ==== It Must Change ==== [[File:Серафим.jpg|thumb|The seraph <br> Is satyr in Saturn, according to his thoughts.]] * The old seraph, parcel-gilded, among violets <br> Inhaled the appointed odor, while the doves <br> Rose up like phantoms from chronologies. ** I * The bees came booming as if they had never gone, <br> As if hyacinths had never gone. We say <br> This changes and that changes. Thus the constant{{pb}} Violets, doves, girls, bees and hyacinths <br> Are inconstant objects of inconstant cause <br> In a universe of inconstancy. This means{{pb}}Night-blue is an inconstant thing. The seraph <br> Is satyr in Saturn, according to his thoughts. ** I * The President ordains the bee to be <br> Immortal. ** II * The President has apples on the table <br> And barefoot servants round him, who adjust <br> The curtains to a metaphysical "t". ** II * Should there be a question of returning or <br> Of death in memory’s dream? Is spring a sleep?{{pb}}This warmth is for lovers at last accomplishing <br> Their love, this beginning, not resuming, this <br> '''Booming and booming of the new-come bee.''' ** II * The right, uplifted foreleg of the horse <br> Suggested that, at the final funeral, <br> The music halted and the horse stood still. ** III * Nothing had happened because nothing had changed. <br> Yet the General was rubbish in the end. ** III * Two things of opposite natures seem to depend <br> On one another, as a man depends <br> On a woman, day on night, the imagined{{pb}}On the real. This is the origin of change. <br> Winter and spring, cold copulars, embrace <br> And forth the particulars of rapture come. ** IV * Music falls on the silence like a sense, <br> A passion that we feel, not understand. ** IV * In solitude the trumpets of solitude <br> Are not of another solitude resounding; <br> A little string speaks for a crowd of voices. ** IV * The partaker partakes of that which changes him. <br> The child that touches takes character from the thing, <br> The body, it touches. The captain and his men{{pb}}Are one and the sailor and the sea are one. ** IV * On a blue island in a sky-wide water <br> The wild orange trees continued to bloom and to bear, <br> Long after the planter’s death. ** V * An unaffected man in a negative light <br> Could not have borne his labor nor have died <br> Sighing that he should leave the banjo’s twang. ** V * Bethou me, said sparrow, to the crackled blade, <br> And you, and you, bethou me as you blow, <br> When in my coppice you behold me be. ** VI * There was such idiot minstrelsy in rain, <br> So many clappers going without bells, <br> That these bethous compose a heavenly gong. {{pb}} One voice repeating, one tireless chorister, <br> The phrases of a single phrase, ke-ke, <br> A single text, granite monotony ** VI * Eye without lid, mind without any dream —{{pb}}These are of minstrels lacking minstrelsy, <br> Of an earth in which the first leaf is the tale <br> Of leaves, in which the sparrow is a bird{{pb}}Of stone, that never changes. Bethou him, you <br> And you, bethou him and bethou. It is <br> A sound like any other. It will end. ** VI * Tonight the lilacs magnify <br> The easy passion, the ever-ready love <br> Of the lover that lies within us and we breathe{{pb}}An odor evoking nothing, absolute.''' <br> We encounter in the dead middle of the night <br> The purple odor, the abundant bloom. ** VII * The fluctuations of certainty, the change <br> Of degrees of perception in the scholar’s dark. ** VII * I am the spouse. She took her necklace off <br> And laid it in the sand. As I am, I am <br> The spouse. She opened her stone-studded belt. {{pb}} I am the spouse, divested of bright gold, <br> The spouse beyond emerald or amethyst, <br> Beyond the burning body that I bear. {{pb}} I am the woman stripped more nakedly <br> Than nakedness, standing before an inflexible <br> Order, saying I am the contemplated spouse. ** VIII * Clothe me entire in the final filament, <br> So that I tremble with such love so known <br> And myself am precious for your perfecting. ** VIII * A fictive covering <br> Weaves always glistening from the heart and mind. ** VIII * The poem goes form the poet’s gibberish to <br> The gibberish of the vulgate and back again. ** IX * Is there a poem that never reaches words {{pb}} And one that chaffers the time away? <br> Is the poem both peculiar and general? <br> There’s a meditation there, in which there seems{{pb}}To be an evasion, a thing not apprehended or <br> Not apprehended well. Does the poet <br> Evade us, as in a senseless element? ** IX * He tries by a peculiar speech to speak {{pb}} The peculiar potency of the general. ** IX * Like a page of music, like an upper air, <br> Like a momentary color, in which swans <br> Were seraphs, were saints, were changing essences. {{pb}} The west wind was the music, the motion, the force <br> To which the swans curveted, a will to change, <br> A will to make iris frettings on the blank. ** IX * The casual is not Enough. The freshness of transformation is{{pb}}The freshness of a world.''' It is our own, <br> It is ourselves, the freshness of ourselves, <br> And that necessity and that presentation{{pb}}Are rubbings of a glass in which we peer. * Of these beginnings, gay and green, propose <br> The suitable amours. Time will write them down. ==== It Must Give Pleasure ==== [[File:CandleWPC.jpg|thumb|]] * To speak of joy and to sing of it, borne on <br> The shoulders of joyous men, to feel the heart <br> That is the common, the bravest fundament, {{pb}} This is a facile exercise. ** I * The difficultest rigor is forthwith, <br> On the image of what we see, to catch from that <br> Irrational moment its unreasoning, <br> As when the sun comes rising, when the sea <br> Clears deeply, when the moon hangs on the wall{{pb}} Of heaven-haven. These are not things transformed. <br> Yet we are shaken by them as if they were. <br> We reason about them with a later reason. ** I * The blue woman, linked and lacquered, at her window <br> Did not desire that feathery argentines <br> Should be cold silver, neither that frothy clouds{{pb}} Should foam, be foamy waves, should move like them ** II * It was enough for her that she remembered. ** II * Red-in-red repetitions never going <br> Away,a little rusty, a little rouged, <br> A little roughened and ruder, a crown{{pb}}The eye could not escape, a red renown <br> Blowing itself upon the tedious ear. ** III * A dead shepherd brought tremendous chords from hell{{pb}}And bad the sheep carouse. Or so they said. <br> Children in love with them brought early flowers <br> And scattered them about, no two alike. ** III * We reason of these things with later reason <br> And we make of what we see, what we see clearly <br> And have seen, a place dependent on ourselves. ** IV * This was their ceremonial hymn: Anon <br> We loved but would no marriage make. Anon <br> The one refused the other one to take,{{pb}}Foreswore the sipping of the marriage wine. ** IV * Each must the other take as sign, short sign <br> To stop the whirlwind, balk the elements. ** IV * They married well because the marriage-place <br> Was what they loved. It was neither heaven nor hell. <br> They were love’s characters come face to face. ** IV * The words they spoke were voices that she heard. <br> She looked at them and saw them as they were <br> And what she felt fought off the barest phrase. ** V * The nothingness was a nakedness, a point,{{pb}}Beyond which fact could not progress as fact. <br> Thereon the learning of the man conceived <br> Once more night’s pale illuminations, gold{{pb}}Beneath, far underneath, the surface of <br> His eye and audible in the mountain of <br> His ear, the very material of his mind. ** VI * Straight to the utmost crown of night he flew. <br> The nothingness was a nakedness, a point{{pb}}Beyond which thought could not progress as thought. <br> He had to choose. But it was not a choice <br> Between excluding things. It was not a choice{{pb}}Between, but of. '''He chose to include the things <br> That in each other are included, the whole, <br> The complicate, the amassing harmony.''' ** VI * He imposes orders as he thinks of them, <br> As the fox and snake do. It is a brave affair. ** VII * But to impose is not <br> To discover. To discover an order as of <br> A season, to discover summer and know it,{{pb}}To discover winter and know it well, to find <br> Not to impose, not to have reasoned at all, <br> Out of nothing to have come on major weather,{{pb}}It is possible, possible, possible. It must <br> Be possible. It must be that in time <br> The real will from its crude compoundings come,{{pb}}Seeming at first, a beast disgorged, unlike, <br> Warmed by a desperate milk. To find the real, <br> To be stripped of every fiction except one,{{pb}}The fiction of an absolute — Angel, <br> Be silent in your luminous cloud and hear <br> The luminous melody of proper sound. ** VII * What am I to believe? If the angel in his cloud, <br> Serenely gazing at the violent abyss, <br> Plucks on his strings to pluck abysmal glory, {{pb}} Leaps downward through evening’s revelations, and <br> On his spredden wings, needs nothing but deep space, <br> Forgets the gold centre, the golden destiny,{{pb}} Grows warm in the motionless motion of his flight, <br> '''Am I that imagine this angel less-satisfied? <br> Are the wings his, the lapis-haunted air?''' ** VIII * Is it he or is it I that experience this? ** VIII * There is a month, a year, there is a time <br> In which majesty is a mirror of the self: <br> I have not but I am and as I am, I am. ** VIII * These external regions, what do we fill them with <br> Except reflections, the escapades of death,<br>Cinderella fulfilling herself beneath the roof. ** VIII * '''I can <br> Do all that angels can.''' I enjoy like them, <br> Like men besides, like men in light secluded, {{pb}} Enjoying angels. ** IX * A thing final in itself and, therefore, good: <br> One of the vast repetitions final in <br> Themselves and, therefore, good, the going round {{pb}} And round and round, the merely going round, <br> Until merely going round is a final good, <br> The way wine comes at a table in a wood. ** IX * &nbsp;&nbsp; Perhaps, <br> The man-hero is not the exceptional monster, <br> But he that of repetition is most master. ** IX * Fat girl, terrestrial, my summer, my night, <br> How is it I find you in difference, see you there <br> In a moving contour, a change not quite completed?{{pb}}You are familiar yet an aberration. ** X * You remain the more than natural figure. You <br> Become the soft-footed phantom, the irrational{{pb}}Distortion, however fragrant, however dear. <br> That’s it: the more than rational distortion, <br> The fiction that results from feeling. Yes, that. ** X * '''They will get it straight one day at the Sorbonne.''' <br> We shall return at twilight from the lecture <br> Pleased that the irrational is rational,{{pb}}Until flicked by feeling, in a gildered street, <br> I call you by name, my green, my fluent mundo. ** X ;Unsorted * Soldier, there is a war between the mind <br> And sky, between thought and day and night. It is <br> For that the poet is always in the sun, {{pb}} Patches the moon together in his room <br> To his Virgilian cadences, up down, <br> Up down. It is a war that never ends. * Yet it depends on yours. The two are one. <br> They are a plural, a right and left, a pair, <br> Two parallels that meet if only in * The meeting of their shadows or that meet <br> In a book in a barrack, a letter from Malay. <br> But your war ends. And after it you return * With six meats and twelve wines or else without <br> To walk another room...Monsieur and comrade, <br> The soldier is poor without the poet’s lines. * His petty syllabi, the sounds that stick, <br> Inevitably modulating, in the blood. <br> And war for war, each has its gallant kind. {{pb}} How simply the fictive hero becomes the real; <br> How gladly with proper words the solider dies, <br> If he must, or lives on the bread of faithful speech. === ''Parts of a World'' (1942) === :<small>'''New York: Alfred A. Knopf'''</small> * Home from Guatemala, back at the Waldorf. <br> This arrival in the wild country of the soul, <br> All approaches gone, being completely there, <br> Where the wild poem is a substitute <br> For the woman one loves or ought to love, <br> One wild rhapsody a fake for another.{{pb}}You touch the hotel the way you touch moonlight <br> Or sunlight and you hum and the orchestra <br> Hums and you say "The world in a verse,{{pb}}A generation sealed, men remoter than mountains, <br> Women invisible in music and motion and color," <br> After that alien, point-blank, green and actual Guatemala. ** "Arrival at the Waldorf" * The prologues are over. It is a question, now,<br>Of final belief. So, say that final belief<br>Must be in a fiction. It is time to choose. ** "Asides on the Oboe", st. 1 * A. A violent order is disorder; and <br> B. A great disorder is an order. These <br> Two things are one. ** "Connoisseur of Chaos", st. 1 * And, capable, created in his mind,<br>Eventual victor, out of the martyrs’ bones<br>The ultimate elegance: the imagined land. ** "Mrs. Alfred Uruguay", st. 4 * That's what misery is, <br> Nothing to have at heart. <br> It is to have or nothing.{{pb}}It is a thing to have, <br> A lion, an ox in his breast, <br> To feel it breathing there.{{pb}}Corazon, stout dog, <br> Young ox, bow-legged bear, <br> He tastes its blood, not spit.{{pb}}He is like a man <br> In the body of a violent beast. <br> Its muscles are his own...{{pb}}The lion sleeps in the sun. <br> Its nose is on its paws. <br> It can kill a man. ** "Poetry is a Destructive Force" * &nbsp;&nbsp; Light<br>Is the lion that comes down to drink. ** "The Glass of Water", st. 2 * One’s grand flights, one’s Sunday baths,<br>One’s tootings at the weddings of the soul<br>Occur as they occur. ** "The Sense of the Sleight-of-Hand Man", st. 1 * After the final no there comes a yes <br> And on that yes the future world depends. <br> No was the night. Yes is this present sun. ** "The Well Dressed Man with a Beard" * One thing remaining, infallible, would be <br> Enough. ** "The Well Dressed Man with a Beard" * Out of a thing believed, a thing affirmed: <br> The form on the pillow humming while one sleeps, <br> The aureole above the humming house... <br> '''It can never be satisfied, the mind, never. ** "The Well Dressed Man with a Beard" === ''The Language of Poetry'' (1942) === :<small>'''Princeton, NJ: Princeton UP'''</small> * The subject-matter of poetry is not that "collection of solid, static objects extended in space" but the life that is lived in the scene that it composes; and so reality is not that external scene but the life that is lived in it. Reality is things as they are. ** "The Noble Rider and the Sound of Words", IV * What makes the poet the potent figure that he is, or was, or ought to be, is that he creates the world to which we turn incessantly and without knowing it and that he gives to life the supreme fictions without which we are unable to conceive of it. ** "The Noble Rider and the Sound of Words", V <!-- p. 121 --> * His function is to make his imagination theirs and that he fulfils himself only as he sees his imagination become the light in the minds of others. His role, in short, is to help people to live their lives. ** "The Noble Rider and the Sound of Words", V === ''Transport to Summer'' (1947) === :<small>'''New York: Alfred A. Knopf'''</small> [[File:Wallace Stevens House - Hartford, CT.jpg|thumb|So many selves, so many sensuous worlds, <br> As if the air, the mid-day air, was swarming <br> With the metaphysical changes that occur, <br> Merely in living as and where we live.]] * Thus the theory of description matters most.<br>It is the theory of the word for those{{pb}}For whom the word is the making of the world,<br>The buzzing world and lisping firmament.{{pb}}It is a world of words to the end of it,<br>In which nothing solid is its solid self. ** "Description Without Place", VII * It was the last nostalgia: that he<br>Should understand. ** "Esthétique du Mal", X * The greatest poverty is not to live<br>In a physical world, to feel that one’s desire<br>Is too difficult to tell from despair. ** "Esthétique du Mal", XV * One might have thought of sight, but who could think <br> Of what it sees, for all the ill it sees? <br> Speech found the ear, for all the evil sound, <br> But the dark italics it could not propound. <br> And out of what sees and hears and out <br> Of what one feels, who could have thought to make <br> So many selves, so many sensuous worlds, <br> As if the air, the mid-day air, was swarming <br> With the metaphysical changes that occur, <br> Merely in living as and where we live. ** "Esthétique du Mal", XV * Life consists <br> Of propositions about life. The human <br> Revery is a solitude in which <br> We compose these propositions, torn by dreams, {{pb}} By the terrible incantations of defeats <br> And by the fear that the defeats and the dreams are one. {{pb}} '''The whole race is a poet that writes down <br> The eccentric propositions of its fate.''' ** "Men Made Out of Words" * If there must be a god in the house, must be, <br> Saying things in the room and on the stair,{{pb}}Let him move as the sunlight moves on the floor, <br> Or moonlight, '''silently, as Plato's ghost{{pb}}Or Aristotle's skeleton.''' Let him hang out <br> His stars on the wall. He must dwell quietly.{{pb}}He must be incapable of speaking, closed, <br> As those are: as light, for all its motion, is;{{pb}}As color, even the closest to us, is; <br> As shapes, though they portend us, are.{{pb}}It is the human that is the alien, <br> The human that has no cousin in the moon.{{pb}}It is the human that demands his speech <br> From beasts or from the incommunicable mass.{{pb}}If there must be a god in the house, let him be one <br> That will not hear us when we speak: a coolness{{pb}}A vermillioned nothingness, any stick of the mass <br> Of which we are too distantly a part. ** "Less and Less Human, O Savage Spirit" * &nbsp;&nbsp; To get at the thing<br>Without gestures is to get at it as<br>Idea. ** "So-and-So Reclining on Her Couch", st. 6 * The house was quiet and the world was calm. <br> The reader became the book; and summer night <br> Was like the conscious being of the book. <br> The house was quiet and the world was calm. <br> The words were spoken as if there was no book, <br> Except that the reader leaned above the page, <br> Wanted to lean, wanted much most to be <br> The scholar to whom the book is true, to whom <br> The summer night is like a perfection of thought. <br> The house was quiet because it had to be. <br> The quiet was part of the meaning, part of the mind: <br> The access of perfection to the page. <br> And the world was calm. The truth in a calm world, <br> In which there is no other meaning, itself <br> Is calm, itself is summer and night, itself <br> Is the reader leaning late and reading there. ** "The House Was Quiet and the World Was Calm" === ''The Auroras of Autumn'' (1950) === :<small>'''New York: Alfred A. Knopf'''</small> * I am the angel of reality, <br> Seen for a moment standing in the door. ** "Angel Surrounded by Paysans" (1949) * I am one of you and being one of you <br> Is being and knowing what I am and know. <br> Yet I am the necessary angel of earth, <br> Since, in my sight, you see the earth again, <br> Cleared of its stiff and stubborn, man-locked set <br> And, in my hearing, you hear its tragic drone <br> Rise liquidly in liquid lingerings, <br> Like watery words awash; like meanings said <br> By repetitions of half-meanings. Am I not, <br> Myself, only half a figure of a sort, <br> A figure half seen, or seen for a moment, a man <br> Of the mind, an apparition appareled in <br> Apparels of such lightest look that a turn <br> Of my shoulders and quickly, too quickly, I am gone? ** "Angel Surrounded by Paysans" * We keep coming back and coming back<br>To the real: to the hotel instead of the hymns<br>That fall upon it out of the wind. ** "An Ordinary Evening in New Haven", IX * &nbsp;&nbsp; A more severe,<br>More harassing master would extemporize<br>Subtler, more urgent proof that the theory<br>Of poetry is the theory of life,<br>As it is, in the intricate evasions of as,<br>In things seen and unseen, created from nothingness,<br>The heavens, the hells, the worlds, the longed-for lands. ** "An Ordinary Evening in New Haven", XXVIII * It is not in the premise that reality <br> Is a solid. It may be a shade that traverses <br> A dust, a force that traverses a shade. ** "An Ordinary Evening in New Haven" * Reality is the [[beginning]] not the end, <br> Naked Alpha, not the hierophant Omega, <br> Of dense investiture, with luminous vassals. ** "An Ordinary Evening in New Haven" * And one trembles to be so understood and, at last,<br>To understand, as if to know became<br>The fatality of seeing things too well. ** "The Novel", st. 16 === ''The Necessary Angel'' (1951) === :<small>''The Necessary Angel: Essays on Reality and the Imagination'' {{ISBN|0-394-70278-6}} </small> * There is always an analogy between [[nature]] and the [[imagination]], and possibly poetry is merely the strange rhetoric of that parallel. ** "Effects of Analogy" * The [[imagination]] loses vitality as it ceases to adhere to what is real. When it adheres to the unreal and intensifies what is unreal, while its first effect may be extraordinary, that effect is the maximum effect that it will ever have. ** "Imagination as Value" * The best definition of true imagination is that it is the sum of our faculties. Poetry is the scholar's art. The acute intelligence of the imagination, the illimitable resources of its memory, its power to possess the moment it perceives — if we were speaking of light itself, and thinking of the relationship between objects and light, no further demonstration would be necessary ... What light requires a day to do, and by day I mean a kind of Biblical revolution of time, the imagination does in the twinkling of an eye. It colors, increases, brings to a beginning and end, invents languages, crushes men, and, for that matter, gods in its hands, it says to women more than it is possible to say, it rescues all of us from what we have called absolute fact. ** "Imagination as Value" * For the poet, the imagination is paramount, and ... he dwells apart in his imagination, as the philosopher dwells in his reason, and as the priest dwells in his belief … The imagination is the power of the mind over the possibilities of things." ** "Imagination as Value" * The operation of the imagination in life is more significant than its operation in or in relation to works of art... in life what is important is the truth as it is, while in arts and letters what is important is truth as we see it. ** "Imagination as Value" * What the poet has in mind ... is that poetic value is an intrinsic value. It is not the value of knowledge. It is not the value of faith. It is the value of imagination. The poet tries to exemplify it, in part as I have tried to exemplify it here, by identifying it with an imaginative activity that diffuses itself throughout our lives. ** "Imagination as Value" * The imagination is the power that enables us to perceive the normal in the abnormal, the opposite of chaos in chaos. ** "Imagination as Value" * The truth seems to be that we live in concepts of the imagination before the reason has established them. If this is true, then reason is simply the methodizer of the imagination. ** "Imagination as Value" * The world about us would be desolate except for the world within us. ** "Imagination as Value" * The paramount relation between poetry and painting today, between modern man and modern art, is simply this: that in an age in which disbelief is so profoundly prevalent or, if not disbelief, indifference to questions of belief, poetry and painting, and the arts in general, are, in their measure, a compensation for what has been lost. Men feel that the imagination is the next greatest power to faith: the reigning prince. ** "Imagination as Value" * Our own time, and by this I mean the last two or three generations, including our own, can be summed up in a way that brings into unity an immense number of details by saying of it that it is a time in which the search for the supreme truth has been a search in reality or through reality or even a search for some supremely acceptable fiction. ** "Imagination as Value" * The humble are they that move about the world with the lure of the real in their hearts. ** "About One of Marianne Moore’s Poems" * It may be dismissed, on the one hand, as a commonplace aesthetic satisfaction: and, on the other hand, if we say that the idea of God is merely a poetic idea, even if the supreme poetic idea, and that our notions of heaven and hell are merely poetry not so called, even if poetry that involves us vitally, the feeling of deliverance, of a release, of a perfection touched, of a vocation so that all men may know the truth and that the truth may set them free — if we say these things and if we are able to see the poet who achieved God and placed Him in His seat in heaven in all His glory, the poet himself, still in the ecstasy of the poem that completely accomplished its purpose, would have seemed, whether young or old, whether in rags or ceremonial robe, a man who needed what he had created, uttering the hymns of joy that followed his creation. This may be a gross exaggeration of a very simple matter. But perhaps the same is true of many of the more prodigious things of life and death. ** "The Figure of the Youth as Virile Poet" === ''Collected Poems'' (1954) === :<small>'''New York: Alfred A. Knopf'''</small> * One of the limits of reality <br> Presents itself in Oley when the hay, <br> Baked through long days, is piled in mows. It is <br> A land too ripe for enigmas, too serene. <br> * * * <br> Things stop in that direction and since they stop <br> The direction stops and we accept what is <br> As [[good]]. The utmost must be good and is. ** "Credences of Summer" * Let’s see the very thing and nothing else. <br> Let’s see it with the hottest fire of sight. <br> Burn everything not part of it to ash. <br> Trace the gold sun about the whitened sky <br> Without evasion by a single metaphor. <br> Look at it in its essential barrenness <br> And say this, this is the centre that I seek. ** "Credences of Summer" * Exile desire <br> For what is not. This is the barrenness <br> Of the fertile thing that can attain no more. ** "Credences of Summer" * Light the first light of evening, as in a room <br> In which we rest and, for small reason, think <br> The world imagined is the ultimate good. ** "Final Soliloquy of the Interior Paramour", st. 1 * '''We say God and the imagination are one... <br> How high that highest candle lights the dark.''' <br> Out of this same light, out of the central mind, <br> We make a dwelling in the evening air, <br> In which being there together is enough. ** "Final Soliloquy of the Interior Paramour", st. 5 * This is, therefore, the intensest rendezvous. <br> It is in that thought that we collect ourselves, <br> Out of all the indifferences, into one thing ** "Final Soliloquy of the Interior Paramour" * At the earliest ending of winter, <br> In March, a scrawny cry from outside <br> Seemed like a sound in his mind. <br> He knew that he heard it, <br> A bird's cry, at daylight or before, <br> In the early March wind. ** "Not Ideas About the Thing but the Thing Itself", st. 1 * '''That scrawny cry — It was <br> A chorister whose c preceded the choir. <br> It was part of the colossal sun,''' <br> Surrounded by its choral rings, <br> Still far away. It was like <br> A new knowledge of reality. ** "Not Ideas About the Thing but the Thing Itself", st. 5 * There it was, word for word,<br>The poem that took the place of a mountain. ** "The Poem That Took the Place of a Mountain", st. 1 * Total grandeur of a total edifice,<br>Chosen by an inquisitor of structures<br>For himself. He stops upon this threshold<br>As if the design of all his words takes form<br>And frame from thinking and is realized. ** "To an Old Philosopher in Rome", st. 16 === ''Opus Posthumous'' (1957) === :<small>'''New York: Alfred A. Knopf'''</small> [[File:Wallace Stevens signature.svg|thumb|Style is not something applied. It is something that permeates.]] * Let wise men piece the world together with wisdom <br> Or poets with holy magic. <br> Hey-di-ho. ** "Hieroglyphica" <!-- date? 1934 --> * After one has abandoned a belief in God, poetry is that essence which takes its place as life’s redemption. ** "Proverbs", from ''Sur Plusieurs Beaux Sujects'' (1932–1937) * To see the gods dispelled in mid-air and dissolve like clouds is one of the great human experiences. It is not as if they had gone over the horizon to disappear for a time; nor as if they had been overcome by other gods of greater power and profounder knowledge. It is simply that they came to nothing. <!-- p. 260 --> ** "Two or Three Ideas" (1951) * '''Style is not something applied. It is something that permeates.''' It is of the nature of that in which it is found, whether the poem, the manner of a god, the bearing of a man. It is not a dress. ** "Two or Three Ideas" * The number of ways of passing between the traditional two fixed points of man’s life, that is to say, of passing from the self to God, is fixed only by the limitations of space, which is limitless. The eternal philosopher is the eternal pilgrim on that road. It is difficult to take him seriously when he relies on the evidence of the teeth, the throat and the bowels. Yet in the one poem that is unimpeachably divine, the poem of the ascent into heaven, it is possible to say that there can be no faults, since it is precisely the faults of life this poem enables us to leave behind. If the idea of God is the ultimate poetic idea, then the idea of the ascent into heaven is only a little below it. ** "A Collect of Philosophy" (1951) <!-- p. 369 http://books.google.com/books?id=qztUqewMpa0C&pg=PT369 --> ==== Adagia ==== * A grandiose subject is not an assurance of a grandiose effect but, most likely, of the opposite. * Sentimentality is a failure of feeling. * A poem should be a part of one's sense of life. * A poet looks at the world as a man looks at a woman. * The poet makes silk dresses out of worms. * All history is modern history. * All poetry is experimental poetry. * Poetry is a purging of the world's poverty and change and evil and death. It is a present perfecting, a satisfaction in the irremediable poverty of life. * The imagination is one of the forces of nature. * To have nothing to say and to say it in a tragic manner is not the same thing as having something to say. * Man is an eternal sophomore. * The poet is a god, or, the young poet is a god. The old poet is a tramp. * To a large extent, the problems of poets are the problems of painters, and poets must often turn to the literature of painting for a discussion of their own problems. * God is in me or else is not at all (does not exist). * The world is a force, not a presence. * Poetry is a search for the inexplicable. * A poem is a meteor. * In the world of words, the imagination is one of the forces of nature. * The poet is the priest of the invisible. == Attributed == * [[Success]] as a result of industry is a peasant ideal. ** In [[Charles Bukowski]], "Ten Jack-Offs", ''The Most Beautiful Woman in Town'' (1983) * I like my [[philosophy]] smothered in [[beauty]] and not the opposite. ** In Bart Eeckhout, ''Wallace Stevens and the Limits of Reading and Writing'' (2002), Ch. 12 "Poeticizing Epistemology", p. 268 * Poetry is an effort of a dissatisfied man to find satisfaction through words. ** In Bart Eeckhout, ''Wallace Stevens and the Limits of Reading and Writing'' (2002), Ch. 12 "Poeticizing Epistemology", p. 268 == Quotes about Stevens == [[File:Poet in the City event on Wallace Stevens.jpg|thumb|Post-religious man, as Stevens saw him, still had a deep need for the kind of exaltation of the body and spirit which goes under different names in different religions — Christians call it [[w:Divine grace|grace]]. ~ [[Justin Quinn]]]] [[File:Library Walk 22.JPG|thumb|Contrary to all appearances, to the difficulty of his verse, and to the preoccupied, distracted interpretations of contemporary critics, Wallace Stevens' poetry is a profoundly spiritual force. Anyone interested in the spiritual problems of modern humans must reckon with it. ~ [[Dana Wilde]]]] * Post-religious man, as Stevens saw him, still had a deep need for the kind of exaltation of the body and spirit which goes under different names in different religions — Christians call it [[w:Divine grace|grace]], that is, the feeling or knowledge that the [[workings]] of [[God]] are revealed to the individual, thus lifting him or her up to a state of ecstatic consciousness. ... For the romantics in general such moments of ecstasis in the midst of nature are experienced by the solitary imagination, and the bonds of society are cast away as unimportant. Stevens once said that the romantic is a falsification, and perhaps the reason for the comment was his feeling that such moments of ecstatic relation in the midst of nature had to be given a ''social'' and eventually ''political'' meaning, rather than remaining in the arena of the spirit. Stevens poetry then offers a pastoral romantic ecstasis that become the occasions for searching out the relations between the individual, his or her [[community]] and the natural world. ** [[Justin Quinn]], [http://colloquium.upol.cz/coll00/quinn.htm "Nature & Ideology in Wallace Stevens"], ''colloquium.upol.cz'' (2000) *A more attractive attitude of defense was disclosed at a café. In one corner, a man was playing a guitar, and the stranger turned to watch him. The guitar player was good; the stop and tremble of the strings touched everyone in that room. "You know," said the stranger, "I respect creative people, any kind; I never used to feel that way, but something happened-I know a man in the city I come from, a business associate (I'm a lawyer)-we've gone on fishing trips for twenty years I know him fairly well, I'd say-big man, too: six foot four, weighs two hundred and forty pounds. Twenty years, and I just found out last month that he writes poems. I asked around; he's written books of them; very good, too, they say. I'm going to get ahold of some. But I sure feel different about creative people." "What is the name of your friend?" "Wallace Stevens," said the stranger. **[[Muriel Rukeyser]] ''The Life of Poetry'' (1949) * I turn now <br> not to [[the Bible]] <br> but to Wallace Stevens. ** [[R. S. Thomas]], in "Homage to Wallace Stevens" in ''No Truce with the Furies'' (1995) * [[Blessings]], Stevens; <br> I stand with my back to grammar <br> At an altar you never aspired <br> to, celebrating the sacrament <br> of the imagination whose high-priest <br> notwithstanding you are. ** [[R. S. Thomas]], in "Homage to Wallace Stevens" in ''No Truce with the Furies'' (1995) * At the [[heart]] of many of Stevens's poems are harsh and unpalatable [[experiences]] revealed only gradually through his intense stylization. ** [[w:Helen Vendler|Helen Vendler]], in ''The Columbia History of American Poetry'' (1993) edited by Jay Parini and Brett Candlish Millier * Stevens' way of informing us comes in language and imagery so radically different from previous times that it is difficult to recognize exactly what he means. But throughout his poetry he speaks, like the [[mystics]], primarily of the nature of our relationship with the universe. He continually circles back to the idea that we actively participate in what the world looks like and what it means. Although cast in modern terms, this idea is profoundly spiritual and moral. {{pb}} Since he gives no evidence of any direct visionary experience, it's not possible to say Stevens is a "mystic" or a "contemplative" poet. But he is a major figure in modern poetry because he synthesizes the concerns of the modern world — the emphasis on the human self as maker of meaning, the emphasis on scientific rationality, the emphasis on creating new forms to replace outmoded beliefs — with the perennial concerns of the human spirit. To find meaning, or the good — or by implication, God — we need to radically adjust our conception of reality. This takes powerful acts of individual imagination, and the possibilities are immense... Contrary to all appearances, to the difficulty of his verse, and to the preoccupied, distracted interpretations of contemporary critics, Wallace Stevens' poetry is a profoundly spiritual force. Anyone interested in the spiritual problems of modern humans must reckon with it. ** Dana Wilde [http://www.antigonishreview.com/bi-109/109-wilde.html "An Introduction to Reading Wallace Stevens as a Poet of the Human Spirit" in ''The Antigonish Review'' 109 (February 1999)] * Mr. Stevens is the master of a style: that is the most remarkable thing about him. His gift for combining words is baffling and fantastic but sure: even when you do not know what he is saying, you know that he is saying it well. ** [[Edmund Wilson]], 1924 review of ''Harmonium'', in ''The Shores of Light: A Literary Chronicle of the Twenties and Thirties'' (1952), p. 49 * Stevens is a poet who argues that [[life]] is what one makes of it within the limitations of one's own [[sensibility]]. ** Samuel French Morse in introduction to ''Poems by Wallace Stevens'' (1959), p. 13. == External links == * {{wikipedia-inline}} * {{Wikisource-inline}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Stevens, Wallace}} [[Category:Poets from the United States]] [[Category:Absurdists]] [[Category:Agnostics]] [[Category:Humanists]] [[Category:Mystics]] [[Category:Businesspeople from the United States]] [[Category:Lawyers from the United States]] [[Category:1879 births]] [[Category:1955 deaths]] [[Category:People from Pennsylvania]] [[Category:Formalist poets]] eq7gk5y4367hd6lik4vbvbqcn4907dw 3942046 3942034 2026-05-17T12:41:23Z Ficaia 3085955 /* Harmonium (1923) */ 3942046 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Wallace Stevens, 1948.jpg|thumb|I like my [[philosophy]] smothered in [[beauty]] and not the opposite.]] '''[[w:Wallace Stevens|Wallace Stevens]]''' ([[2 October]] [[1879]] – [[2 August]] [[1955]]) was an American modernist [[poet]] and [[businessman]]. == Quotes == [[File:Dr. Ambedkar with Mr. Wallace Stevens at Columbia University, New York (USA), while receiving LL.D. (Doctorate of Laws) for being the 'Chief Architect of the Constitution of India'.jpg|thumb|One ought not to hoard culture. It should be adapted and infused into society as a leaven.]] * One ought not to hoard [[culture]]. It should be adapted and infused into society as a leaven. Liberality of culture does not mean illiberality of its benefits. ** Journal entry (June 20, 1899); in Holly Stevens, ed., ''Souvenirs and Prophecies: The Young Wallace Stevens'' (New York: Knopf, 1977), ch. 3 * A diary is more or less the work of a man of clay whose hands are clumsy and in whose eyes there is no light. ** Journal entry (July 26, 1899); in ''Souvenirs and Prophecies'', ch. 3 * Poor, dear, silly Spring, preparing her annual surprise! ** Journal entry (March 4, 1906), in ''Souvenirs and Prophecies'', ch. 8 * In European thought in general, as contrasted with American, vigor, life and originality have a kind of easy, professional utterance. American — on the other hand, is expressed in an eager amateurish way. A European gives a sense of scope, of survey, of consideration. An American is strained, sensational. One is artistic gold; the other is bullion. ** Journal entry (April 9, 1906); in Holly Stevens, ed., ''Letters of Wallace Stevens'' (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1966), no. 112 * '''To be young is all there is in the world.''' The rest is nonsense — and cant. They talk so beautifully about [[work]] and having a family and a home (and I do, too, sometimes) — but it's all worry and head-aches and respectable poverty and forced gushing. ... Telling people how nice it is, when, in reality, you would give all of your last thirty years for one of your first thirty. Old people are tremendous frauds. ** Letter to his future wife Elsie Moll Kachel (March 21, 1907); in ''Letters of Wallace Stevens'', no. 125 * How full of trifles everything is! It is only one’s [[thoughts]] that fill a room with something more than furniture. ** Letter to his future wife Elsie Moll Kachel (May 16, 1907); in ''Souvenirs and Prophecies'', ch. 9 * Unfortunately there is nothing more inane than an Easter carol. It is a religious perversion of the activity of [[Spring]] in our blood. ** Letter to his future wife, Elsie Moll Kachel (April 23, 1916); in ''Letters of Wallace Stevens'', no. 202 * The day of the [[sun]] is like the day of a king. It is a promenade in the [[morning]], a sitting on the throne at noon, a pageant in the evening. ** Journal entry (April 20, 1920); in ''Souvenirs and Prophecies'', ch. 6 [[File:Casa Marina, Key West, Florida - Wallace Stevens (cropped).jpg|thumb|Everything is [[complicated]]; if that were not so, life and poetry and everything else would be a bore.]] * '''Everything is complicated'''; if that were not so, life and poetry and everything else would be a bore. ** Letter (December 19, 1935); in ''Letters of Wallace Stevens'', no. 336 * If some really acute observer made as much of [[egotism]] as [[Sigmund Freud|Freud]] has made of [[sex]], people would forget a good deal about sex and find the explanation for everything in egotism. ** Letter (January 10, 1936); in ''Letters of Wallace Stevens'', no. 339 * The essential thing in form is to be free in whatever form is used. A free form does not assure freedom. As a form, it is just one more form. So that it comes to this, I suppose, that I believe in freedom regardless of form. ** "A Note on Poetry" (1937); in William Rose Benét and Norman Holmes Pearson, eds., ''The Oxford Anthology of American Literature'', vol. 2 (New York: Oxford UP, 1938), p. 1325 * Poetry is poetry, and one’s objective as a poet is to achieve poetry precisely as one’s objective in music is to achieve music. ** "Why He Selected 'Domination in Black'", in Whit Burnett, ed., ''This Is My Best'' (New York: The Dial Press, 1942), p. 652 * The palm at the end of the mind,<br>Beyond the last thought, rises...{{pb}}A gold-feathered bird<br>Sings in the palm. ** "Of Mere Being", sts. 1–2, in Holly Stevens, ed., ''The Palm at the End of the Mind: Selected Poems and a Play'' (New York: Vintage, 1972), p. 398 === ''Harmonium'' (1923) === [[File:In the Peristyle, by Waterhouse (WikiArt).jpg|thumb|Poetry is the supreme fiction, madame.]] <!--[[File:Christ's triumphal entry into Jerusalem, by Félix Louis Leullier - WikiArt.png|thumb|Palm for palm, <br> Madame, we are where we began.]]--> * '''Poetry is the supreme fiction, madame.''' <br> Take the moral law and make a [[w:Nave|nave]] of it <br> And from the nave build haunted heaven. Thus, <br> The conscience is converted into palms, <br> Like windy [[w:Cittern|citherns]] hankering for hymns. ** "[[w:A High-Toned Old Christian Woman|A High-Toned Old Christian Woman]]", l. 1 ** First published in ''The Dial'', no. 73 (July 1922) * We agree in principle. That's clear. But take <br> The opposing law and make a [[w:peristyle|peristyle]], <br> And from the peristyle project a masque <br> Beyond the planets. Thus, our bawdiness, <br> Unpurged by epitaph, indulged at last, <br> Is equally converted into palms, <br> Squiggling like saxophones. And palm for palm, <br> Madame, we are where we began. ** "A High-Toned Old Christian Woman", l. 6 * This will make widows wince. But fictive things <br> Wink as they will. Wink most when widows wince. ** "A High-Toned Old Christian Woman", l. 21 * I placed a jar in Tennessee <br> And round it was, upon a hill. <br> It made the slovenly wilderness <br> Surround that hill. <br> The wilderness rose upon it, <br> And sprawled around, no longer wild. ** "[[w:Anecdote of the Jar|Anecdote of the Jar]]" * It took dominion everywhere. <br> The jar was gray and bare. <br> It did not give of bird or bush, <br> Like nothing else in Tennessee. ** "Anecdote of the Jar" * The soul, he said, is composed <br> Of the external world. ** "[[w:Anecdote of Men by the Thousand|Anecdote of Men by the Thousand]]" * '''There are men of the East, he said, <br> who are the East.''' <br> There are men of a province <br> who are that province. <br> There are men of a valley <br> who are that valley. ** "Anecdote of Men by the Thousand" [[File:An elderly Tibetan women holding a prayer wheel on Lhasa, Barkhor.jpg|thumb|The dress of a woman of Lhassa, <br> in its place <br> is an invisible element of that place <br> made visible.]] * The dress of a woman of Lhassa, <br> in its place <br> is an invisible element of that place <br> made visible. ** "Anecdote of Men by the Thousand" * Chieftain Iffucan of Azcan in caftan<br>Of tan with henna hackles, halt! ** "[[w:Bantam in Pine-Woods|Bantam in Pine-Woods]]", st. 1 * Damned universal cock, as if the sun<br>Was blackamoor to bear your blazing tail. ** "Bantam in Pine-Woods", st. 2 * The houses are haunted<br>By white night-gowns.<br>None are green,<br>Or purple with green rings,<br>Or green with yellow rings,<br>Or yellow with blue rings.<br>None of them are strange,<br>With socks of lace<br>And beaded ceintures.<br>People are not going<br>To dream of baboons and periwinkles.<br>'''Only, here and there, an old sailor,<br>Drunk and asleep in his boots,<br>Catches tigers<br>In red weather.''' ** "[[w:Disillusionment of Ten O'Clock|Disillusionment of Ten O'Clock]]" [[File:PeackockSide.jpg|thumb|right|I heard them cry — the peacocks.]] <!--[[File:PavoReal albino.jpg|thumb|I felt afraid. <br> And I remembered the cry of the peacocks.]]--> * '''I heard them cry — the peacocks.''' <br> Was it a cry against the twilight <br> Or against the leaves themselves <br> Turning in the wind, <br> Turning as the flames <br> Turned in the fire, <br> Turning as the tails of the peacocks <br> Turned in the loud fire, <br> Loud as the hemlocks <br> Full of the cry of the peacocks? <br> Or was it a cry against the hemlocks? ** "Domination of Black" * I saw how the night came, <br> Came striding like the color of the heavy hemlocks. <br> I felt afraid. <br> And I remembered the cry of the peacocks. ** "Domination of Black" * Frogs Eat Butterflies. Snakes Eat Frogs. Hogs Eat Snakes. Men Eat Hogs. ** [[w:Frogs Eat Butterflies. Snakes Eat Frogs. Hogs Eat Snakes. Men Eat Hogs|Title of poem]] * That strange flower, the [[sun]], <br> Is just what you say. <br> Have it your way.{{pb}}The world is ugly, <br> And the people are sad. ** "Gubbinal" * That tuft of jungle feathers, <br> That animal eye, <br> Is just what you say.{{pb}}That savage of fire, <br> That seed, <br> Have it your way.{{pb}}The world is ugly, <br> And the people are sad. ** "Gubbinal" * Twenty men crossing a bridge, <br> Into a village, <br> Are twenty men crossing twenty bridges, <br> Into twenty villages, <br> Or one man <br> Crossing a single bridge into a village. ** "[[w:Metaphors of a Magnifico|Metaphors of a Magnifico]]" * This is old song <br> That will not declare itself. ** "Metaphors of a Magnifico" * Twenty men crossing a bridge, <br> Into a village, <br> Are <br> Twenty men crossing a bridge <br> Into a village. ** "Metaphors of a Magnifico" * The boots of the men clump <br> On the boards of the bridge. <br> The first white wall of the village <br> Rises through fruit-trees. <br> Of what was it I was thinking? <br> So the meaning escapes. ** "Metaphors of a Magnifico" [[File:STS-95 Florida From Space.jpg|thumb|A few things for themselves, <br> [[Florida]], venereal soil, <br> Disclose to the lover.]] * A few things for themselves, <br> [[Florida]], venereal soil, <br> Disclose to the lover. ** "[[w:O Florida, Venereal Soil|O Florida, Venereal Soil]]" * Donna, donna, dark, <br> Stooping in indigo gown <br> And cloudy constellations, <br> Conceal yourself or disclose <br> Fewest things to the lover — <br> A hand that bears a thick-leaved fruit, <br> A pungent bloom against your shade. ** "O Florida, Venereal Soil" * Gloomy grammarians in golden gowns, <br> Meekly you keep the mortal rendezvous, <br> Eliciting the still sustaining pomps <br> Of speech which are like music so profound <br> They seem an exaltation without sound. ** "[[w:On the Manner of Addressing Clouds|On the Manner of Addressing Clouds]]" * These <br> Are the [[music]] of meet resignation; these <br> The responsive, still sustaining pomps for you <br> To magnify, if in that drifting waste <br> You are to be accompanied by more <br> Than mute bare splendors of the [[sun]] and [[moon]]. ** "On the Manner of Addressing Clouds" [[File:Stuck Susanna.jpg|thumb|Susanna's music touched the bawdy strings <br> Of those white elders; but, escaping, <br> Left only Death's ironic scraping.]] * Just as my fingers on these keys <br> Make music, so the self-same sounds <br> On my spirit make a music, too. <br> '''Music is feeling, then, not sound; <br> And thus it is that what I feel, <br> Here in this room, desiring you, <br> Thinking of your blue-shadowed silk, <br> Is music.''' ** "[[w:Peter Quince at the Clavier|Peter Quince at the Clavier]]", I ** First published in [[w:Others: A Magazine of the New Verse|''Others: A Magazine of the New Verse'']] (1915) * In the green water, clear and warm, <br> [[w:Susanna (Book of Daniel)|Susanna]] lay. <br> She searched <br> The touch of springs, <br> And found <br> Concealed imaginings. <br> She sighed, <br> For so much melody. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", II * Upon the bank, she stood <br> In the cool <br> Of spent emotions. <br> She felt, among the leaves, <br> The dew <br> Of old devotions. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", II * She walked upon the grass, <br> Still quavering. <br> The winds were like her maids, <br> On timid feet, <br> Fetching her woven scarves, <br> Yet wavering. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", II * A breath upon her hand <br> Muted the night. <br> She turned — <br> A cymbal crashed, <br> Amid roaring horns. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", II * '''Beauty is momentary in the mind — <br> The fitful tracing of a portal; <br> But in the flesh it is immortal. {{pb}} The body dies; the body's beauty lives.''' <br> So evenings die, in their green going, <br> A wave, interminably flowing. <br> So gardens die, their meek breath scenting <br> The cowl of winter, done repenting. <br> So maidens die, to the auroral <br> Celebration of a maiden's choral. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", IV * Susanna's music touched the bawdy strings <br> Of those white elders; but, escaping, <br> Left only Death's ironic scraping. <br> Now, in its immortality, it plays <br> On the clear viol of her memory, <br> And makes a constant sacrament of praise. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", IV [[File:Picswiss NW-26-35.jpg|thumb|[[Death]] is the mother of [[Beauty]].]] * Complacencies of the peignoir, and late<br>Coffee and oranges in a sunny chair,<br>And the green freedom of a cockatoo<br>Upon a rug mingle to dissipate<br>The holy hush of ancient sacrifice. ** "[[w:Sunday Morning (poem)|Sunday Morning]]", I * What is divinity if it can come<br>Only in silent shadows and in dreams? ** "Sunday Morning", II * She says, "But in contentment I still feel<br>The need of some imperishable bliss.<br>"'''Death is the mother of Beauty'''; hence from her,<br>Alone, shall come fulfilment to our dreams<br>And our desires. ** "Sunday Morning", V * We live in an old chaos of the sun, <br> Or an old dependency of day and night, <br> Or island solitude, unsponsored, free, <br> Of that wide water, inescapable.<br> Deer walk upon our mountains, and quail <br> Whistle about us their spontaneous cries; <br> Sweet berries ripen in the wilderness; <br> And, in the isolation of the sky, <br> At evening, casual flocks of pigeons make <br> Ambiguous undulations as they sink, <br> Downward to darkness, on extended wings. ** "Sunday Morning", VIII * The book of moonlight is not written yet. ** "[[w:The Comedian as the Letter C|The Comedian as the Letter C]]", III, st. 1 * And as he came he saw that it was spring,<br>A time abhorrent to the nihilist<br>Or searcher for the fecund minimum. ** "The Comedian as the Letter C", III, st. 4 * The natives of the rain are rainy men. ** "The Comedian as the Letter C", IV, st. 1 * The plum survives its poems. ** "The Comedian as the Letter C", V, st. 1 * Green crammers of the green fruits of the world. ** "The Comedian as the Letter C", VI, st. 2 [[File:Standard guide to Cuba - a new and complete guide to the island of Cuba, with maps, illustrations, routes of travel, history, and an English-Spanish phrase book (1909) (14594902008).jpg|thumb|Let be be finale of seem. <br> The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.]] <!--[[File:Women and Child - Cienfuegos - Cuba (3794729068).jpg|thumb|]]--> * Call the roller of big cigars,<br>The muscular one, and bid him whip<br>In kitchen cups concupiscent curds.<br>Let the wenches dawdle in such dress <br> As they are used to wear, and let the boys <br> Bring flowers in last month's newspapers. <br> '''Let be be finale of seem. <br> The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.''' ** "[[w:The Emperor of Ice-Cream|The Emperor of Ice-Cream]]", st. 1 <!-- [http://www.english.uiuc.edu/maps/poets/s_z/stevens/emperor.htm Commentary on this poem] at ''Modern American Poetry'' (University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign) // Compare: ''[[Hamlet]]'', act 1, sc. 2, ll. 70-89; act 4, sc. 3, ll. 19-28 (Folger Shakespeare Online) --> * Take from the dresser of deal, <br> Lacking the three glass knobs, that sheet <br> On which she embroidered fantails once <br> And spread it so as to cover her face. <br> If her horny feet protrude, they come <br> To show how cold she is, and dumb. <br> Let the lamp affix its beam. <br> The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream. ** "The Emperor of Ice-Cream", st. 2 * The essential gaudiness of poetry. ** "The Emperor of Ice Cream", note [[File:2026-03-01 Snow in Tsqneti Forest Park.jpg|thumb|One must have a mind of winter <br> To regard the frost and the boughs <br> Of the pine-trees crusted with snow;<br>* * *<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;and not to think <br> Of any misery in the sound of the wind.]] * One must have a mind of winter <br> To regard the frost and the boughs <br> Of the pine-trees crusted with snow;{{pb}}And have been cold a long time <br> To behold the junipers shagged with ice, <br> The spruces rough in the distant glitter{{pb}}Of the January sun; and not to think <br> Of any misery in the sound of the wind, <br> In the sound of a few leaves,{{pb}}Which is the sound of the land <br> Full of the same wind <br> That is blowing in the same bare place{{pb}}For the listener, who listens in the snow, <br> And, nothing himself, beholds <br> Nothing that is not there and the nothing that is. ** "[[w:The Snow Man|The Snow Man]]" [[File:Boat-tailed Grackle, Sea Trail golf course, North Carolina RWD.jpg|thumb|Among twenty snowy mountains, <br> The only moving thing <br> Was the eye of the [[blackbird]].]] <!--[[File:Library Walk 22.JPG|thumb|I do not know which to prefer, <br> The beauty of inflections <br> Or the beauty of innuendoes, <br> The blackbird whistling <br> Or just after.]]--> * Among twenty snowy mountains, <br> The only moving thing <br> Was the eye of the blackbird. ** "[[w:Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird|Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird]]", I <!-- [http://boppin.com/poets/stevens.htm Full text online] // Sam Swope, [http://www.samswope.org/work2.htm "The Blackbird Is Flying, The Children Must Be Writing"] (an essay on the use of this poem as a teaching tool) --> * A man and a woman <br> Are [[Unity|one]]. <br> A man and a woman and a blackbird <br> Are one. ** "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird", IV * I do not know which to prefer, <br> The beauty of inflections <br> Or the beauty of innuendoes, <br> The blackbird whistling <br> Or just after. ** "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird", V * O thin men of Haddam, <br> Why do you imagine golden birds? <br> Do you not see how the blackbird <br> Walks around the feet <br> Of the women about you? ** "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird", VII * I know noble accents <br> And lucid, inescapable rhythms; <br> But I know, too, <br> That the blackbird is involved <br> In what I know. ** "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird", VIII * It was evening all afternoon. <br> It was snowing <br> And it was going to snow. <br> The blackbird sat <br> In the cedar-limbs. ** "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird", XIII * My candle burned alone in an immense valley. <br> Beams of the huge night converged upon it, <br> Until the wind blew. <br> Then beams of the huge night <br> Converged upon its image, <br> Until the wind blew. ** "Valley Candle" === ''Ideas of Order'' (1936) === * '''She sang beyond the genius of the sea.'''<br>The water never formed to mind or voice,<br>Like a body wholly body, fluttering<br>Its empty sleeves; and yet its mimic motion<br>Made constant cry, caused constantly a cry,<br>That was not ours although we understood,<br>Inhuman, of the veritable ocean. ** "[[w:The Idea of Order at Key West|The Idea of Order at Key West]]", st. 1 * Oh! Blessed rage for order, pale Ramon,<br>The maker’s rage to order words of the sea,<br>Words of the fragrant portals, dimly-starred,<br>And of ourselves and of our origins,<br>In ghostlier demarcations, keener sounds. ** "The Idea of Order at Key West", st. 7 * The sun, that brave man, <br> Comes through boughs that lie in wait, <br> That brave man.{{pb}}Green and gloomy eyes <br> In dark forms of the grass <br> Run away.{{pb}}The good stars, <br> Pale helms and spiky spurs, <br> Run away.{{pb}}Fears of my bed, <br> Fears of life and fears of death, <br> Run away.{{pb}}That brave man comes up <br> From below and walks without meditation, <br> That brave man. ** "The Brave Man" === ''The Man With the Blue Guitar'' (1937) === [[File:Bill Lewis. Guitar, Woman, Snake.jpg|thumb|But play, you must, <br> A tune beyond us, yet ourselves, <br> A tune upon the blue guitar <br> Of things exactly as they are.]] [[File:Anatomia del corpo humano.jpg|thumb|Things as they are have been destroyed. <br> Have I? Am I a man that is dead <br> At a table on which the food is cold?]] * The man bent over his guitar, <br> A shearsman of sorts. The day was green. {{pb}} '''They said, "You have a blue guitar, <br> You do not play things as they are." {{pb}} The man replied, "Things as they are <br> Are changed upon the blue guitar."''' {{pb}} And they said then, "But play, you must, <br> A tune beyond us, yet ourselves, {{pb}} A tune upon the blue guitar <br> Of things exactly as they are." ** I * If to serenade almost to man <br> Is to miss, by that, things as they are, <br> Say that it is the serenade <br> Of a man that plays a blue guitar. ** II * So that's life, then: things are they are? <br> It picks its way on the blue guitar. <br> A million people on one string? <br> And all their manner in the thing, <br> And all their manner, right and wrong, <br> And all their manner, weak and strong? <br> '''And that's life, then: things as they are, <br> This buzzing of the blue guitar.''' ** IV * Do not speak to us of the greatness of poetry, <br> Of the torches wisping in the underground, <br> Of the structure of vaults upon a point of light. <br> There are no shadows in our sun, <br> Day is desire and night is sleep. <br> There are no shadows anywhere. <br> The earth, for us, is flat and bare. <br> There are no shadows. ** V * The thinking of [[art]] seems final when <br> The thinking of [[god]] is smoky dew. ** VI * It is the sun that shares our works. <br> The moon shares nothing. It is a sea. <br> When shall I come to say of the sun, <br> It is a sea; it shares nothing; <br> The sun no longer shares our works <br> And the [[earth]] is alive with creeping men, <br> Mechanical beetles never quite warm? <br> And shall I then stand in the sun, as now <br> I stand in the moon, and call it good, <br> The immaculate, the merciful good, <br> Detached from us, from things as they are? <br> Not to be part of the sun? To stand <br> Remote and call it merciful? <br> The strings are cold on the blue guitar. ** VII * Struggling toward impassioned choirs, <br> Crying among the [[clouds]], enraged <br> By gold antagonists in air — <br> I know my lazy, leaden twang <br> Is like the reason in a [[storm]]; <br> And yet it brings the storm to bear. <br> I twang it out and leave it there. ** VIII * And the color, the overcast blue <br> Of the air, in which the blue guitar <br> Is a form, described but difficult, <br> And I am merely a shadow hunched <br> Above the arrowy, still string, <br> The maker of a thing yet to be made; <br> The color like a thought that grows <br> Out of a mood, the tragic robe <br> Of the actor, half his gesture, half <br> His speech, the dress of his meaning, silk <br> Sodden with his melancholy words, <br> The weather of his stage, himself. ** IX * Behold <br> The approach of him whom none believes, <br> Whom all believe that all believe, <br> A pagan in a varnished car. ** X * Slowly the ivy on the stones <br> Becomes the stones. Women become <br> The cities, children become the fields <br> And men in waves become the sea. ** XI * The sea returns upon the men, <br> The fields entrap the children, brick <br> Is a weed and all the flies are caught, <br> Wingless and withered, but living alive. <br> The discord merely magnified. <br> Deeper within the belly's dark <br> Of [[time]], time grows upon the rock. ** XI * The blue guitar <br> And I are one. ** XII * I know that timid breathing. Where <br> Do I begin and end? And where, <br> As I strum the thing, do I pick up <br> That which momentously declares <br> Itself not to be I and yet <br> Must be. It could be nothing else. ** XII * Be content — <br> Expansions, diffusions — content to be <br> The unspotted imbecile revery, <br> The heraldic center of the world <br> Of blue, blue sleek with a hundred chins, <br> The amorist Adjective aflame. ** XIII * First one beam, then another, then <br> A thousand are radiant in the sky. <br> Each is both star and orb; and day <br> Is the riches of their atmosphere. ** XIV * A candle is enough to light the world. <br> It makes it clear. Even at noon <br> It glistens in essential dark. <br> At night, it lights the fruit and wine, <br> The book and bread, things as they are. ** XIV * Things as they are have been destroyed. <br> Have I? Am I a man that is dead <br> At a table on which the food is cold? <br> Is my thought a memory, not alive? <br> Is the spot on the floor, there, wine or blood <br> And whichever it may be, is it mine? ** XV * Place honey on the altars and die, <br> You lovers that are bitter at heart. ** XVI * That I may reduce the monster to <br> Myself, and then may be myself <br> In face of the monster, be more than part <br> Of it, more than the monstrous player of <br> One of its monstrous lutes, not be <br> Alone, but reduce the monster and be, <br> Two things, the two together as one, <br> And play of the monster and of myself, <br> Or better not of myself at all, <br> But of that as its intelligence, <br> Being the lion in the lute <br> Before the lion locked in stone. ** XIX * What is there in life except one's ideas. <br> Good air, good friend, what is there in life? <br> Is it ideas that I believe? ** XX * A substitute for all the gods: <br> This self, not that gold self aloft, <br> Alone, one's shadow magnified, <br> Lord of the body, looking down, <br> As now and called most high, <br> The shadow of Chocorua <br> In an immenser heaven, aloft, <br> Alone, lord of the land and lord <br> Of the men that live in the land, high lord. <br> One's self and the mountains of one's land, <br> Without shadows, without magnificence, <br> The flesh, the bone, the dirt, the stone. ** XXI * '''Poetry is the subject of the poem''', <br> From this the poem issues and <br> To this returns. Between the two, <br> Between issue and return, there is <br> An absence in reality, <br> Things as they are. Or so we say. <br> But are these separate? ** XXII * I play. But this is what I think. ** XXIV * The swarm of thoughts, the swarm of dreams <br> Of inaccessible Utopia. <br> A mountainous music always seemed <br> To be falling and to be passing away. ** XXVI * It is the sea that whitens the roof. <br> The sea drifts through the winter air. <br> It is the sea that the north wind makes. <br> The sea is in the falling snow. <br> This gloom is the darkness of the sea. ** XXVII * I am a native in this world <br> And think in it as a native thinks. ** XXVIII * The wind in which the dead leaves blow. <br> Here I inhale profounder strength <br> And as I am, I speak and move <br> And things are as I think they are <br> And say they are on the blue guitar. ** XXVIII * What is beyond the cathedral, outside, <br> Balances with nuptial song. <br> So it is to sit and to balance things <br> To and to and to the point of still, <br> To say of one mask it is like, <br> To say of another it is like, <br> To know that the balance does not quite rest, <br> That the mask is strange, however like. ** XXIX * Throw away the lights, the definitions, <br> And say of what you see in the dark <br> That it is this or that it is that, <br> But do not use the rotted names. <br> How should you walk in that space and know <br> Nothing of the madness of space, <br> Nothing of its jocular procreations? <br> Throw the lights away. Nothing must stand <br> Between you and the shapes you take <br> When the crust of shape has been destroyed. ** XXXII * Here is the bread of time to come, <br> Here is its actual stone. The bread <br> Will be our bread, the stone will be <br> Our bed and we shall sleep by night. <br> We shall forget by day, except <br> The [[moments]] when we choose to play <br> The imagined pine, the imagined jay. ** XXXIII === ''Notes Toward a Supreme Fiction'' (1942) === ==== It Must Be Abstract ==== [[File:Apolocitaredo8.jpg|thumb|There was a myth before the myth began, <br> Venerable and articulate and complete.]] [[File:Nieslysz SunSet.JPG|thumb|Perhaps <br> The truth depends on a walk around a lake.]] * Begin, ephebe, by perceiving the idea <br> Of this invention, this invented world, <br> The inconceivable idea of the sun.{{pb}}'''You must become an ignorant man again <br> And see the sun again with an ignorant eye <br> And see it clearly in the idea of it.'''{{pb}}Never suppose an inventing mind as source <br> Of this idea nor for that mind compose <br> A voluminous master folded in his fire. ** I * The death of one god is the death of all. ** I * Phoebus is dead, ephebe. But Phoebus was <br> A name for something that never could be named. <br> There was a project for the sun and is.{{pb}}There is a project for the sun. The sun <br> Must bear no name, gold flourisher, but be <br> In the difficulty of what it is to be. ** I * So poisonous{{pb}}Are the ravishments of truth, so fatal to <br> The truth itself, the first idea becomes <br> The hermit in a poet’s metaphors,{{pb}}Who comes and goes and comes and goes all day. ** II * The monastic man is an artist.The philosopher <br> Appoints man’s place in music, say, today. <br> But the priest desires. The philosopher desires.{{pb}}And not to have is the beginning of desire. <br> To have what is not is its ancient cycle. ** II * It is the celestial ennui of apartments<br>That sends us back to the first idea. ** II * The poem refreshes life so that we share, <br> For a moment, the first idea... It satisfies <br> Belief in an immaculate beginning{{pb}}And sends us, winged by an unconscious will, <br> To an immaculate end. ** III * The poem, through candor, brings back a power again <br> That gives a candid kind to everything. ** III * Life’s nonsense pierces us with strange relation. ** III * And still the grossest iridescence of ocean<br>Howls hoo and rises and howls hoo and falls. ** III * The first idea was not our own. Adam <br> In Eden was the father of Descartes <br> And eve made air the mirror of herself,{{pb}}Of her sons and of her daughters. ** IV * The clouds preceded us.{{pb}}There was a muddy centre before we breathed. <br> There was a myth before the myth began, <br> Venerable and articulate and complete.{{pb}}From this the poem springs: that we live in a place <br> That is not our own and, much more, not ourselves <br> And hard it is in spite of blazoned days. ** IV * We are the mimics. Clouds are pedagogues. ** IV * Abysmal instruments make sounds like pips <br> Of the sweeping meanings that we add to them. ** IV * Yet voluble of dumb violence. You look <br> Across the roofs as sigil and as ward <br> And in your centre mark them and are cowed. ** V * Not to be realized because not to <br> Be seen, not to be loved nor hated because <br> Not to be realized. ** VI * Without a name and nothing to be desired, <br> If only imagined but imagined well. ** VI * My house has changed a little in the sun. <br> The fragrance of the magnolias come close, <br> False flick, false form, but falseness close to kin. ** VI * It must be visible or invisible, <br> Invisible or visible or both: <br> A seeing and unseeing in the eye.{{pb}}The weather and the giant of the weather, <br> Say the weather, the mere weather, the mere air: <br> An abstraction blooded, as a man by thought. ** VI * Perhaps <br> The truth depends on a walk around a lake,{{pb}}A composing as the body tires, a stop <br> To see hepatica, a stop to watch <br> A definition growing certain and{{pb}}A wait within that certainty, a rest <br> In the swags of pine-trees bordering the lake. <br> Perhaps there are times of inherent excellence. ** VII * As a man and woman meet and love forthwith. <br> Perhaps there are moments of awakening, <br> Extreme, fortuitous, personal, in which{{pb}}We more than awaken, sit on the edge of sleep, <br> As on an elevation, and behold <br> The academies like structures in a mist. ** VII * The first idea is an imagined thing. ** VIII * Logos and logic, crystal hypothesis, <br> Incipit and a form to speak the word <br> And every latent double in the word, {{pb}} Beau linguist. ** VIII * He might take habit, whether from wave or phrase,{{pb}}Or power of the wave, or deepened speech, <br> Or a leaner being, moving in on him, <br> Of greater aptitude and apprehension,{{pb}}As if the waves at last were never broken, <br> As if the language suddenly, with ease, <br> Said things it had laboriously spoken. ** VIII * The romantic intoning, the declaimed clairvoyance <br> Are parts of apotheosis, appropriate <br> And of its nature, the idiom thereof. ** IX * Apotheosis is not <br> The origin of the major man. He comes,{{pb}}Compact in invincible foils, from reason, <br> Lighted at midnight by the studious eye, <br> Swaddled in revery, the object of{{pb}}The hum of thoughts evaded in the mind. ** IX * My dame, sing for this person accurate songs. ** IX * He is and may be but oh! He is, he is, <br> This foundling of the infected past, so bright, <br> So moving in the manner of his hand.{{pb}}Yet look not at his colored eyes. Give him <br> No names. Dismiss him from your images. <br> The hot of him is purest in the heart. ** IX * The major abstraction is the idea of man <br> And major man is its exponent, abler <br> In the abstract than in his singular,{{pb}}More fecund as principle than particle. ** X * In being more than an exception, part,{{pb}}Though an heroic part, of the commonal. <br> The major abstraction is the commonal, <br> The inanimate, difficult visage. ** X * What chieftain, walking by himself, crying <br> Most miserable, most victorious, {{pb}} Does not see these separate figures one by one, <br> And yet see only one, in his old coat, <br> His slouching pantaloons, beyond the town,{{pb}}Looking for what was, where it used to be? ** X * It is of him, ephebe, to make, to confect <br> The final elegance, not to console <br> Nor sanctify, but plainly to propound. ** X ==== It Must Change ==== [[File:Серафим.jpg|thumb|The seraph <br> Is satyr in Saturn, according to his thoughts.]] * The old seraph, parcel-gilded, among violets <br> Inhaled the appointed odor, while the doves <br> Rose up like phantoms from chronologies. ** I * The bees came booming as if they had never gone, <br> As if hyacinths had never gone. We say <br> This changes and that changes. Thus the constant{{pb}} Violets, doves, girls, bees and hyacinths <br> Are inconstant objects of inconstant cause <br> In a universe of inconstancy. This means{{pb}}Night-blue is an inconstant thing. The seraph <br> Is satyr in Saturn, according to his thoughts. ** I * The President ordains the bee to be <br> Immortal. ** II * The President has apples on the table <br> And barefoot servants round him, who adjust <br> The curtains to a metaphysical "t". ** II * Should there be a question of returning or <br> Of death in memory’s dream? Is spring a sleep?{{pb}}This warmth is for lovers at last accomplishing <br> Their love, this beginning, not resuming, this <br> '''Booming and booming of the new-come bee.''' ** II * The right, uplifted foreleg of the horse <br> Suggested that, at the final funeral, <br> The music halted and the horse stood still. ** III * Nothing had happened because nothing had changed. <br> Yet the General was rubbish in the end. ** III * Two things of opposite natures seem to depend <br> On one another, as a man depends <br> On a woman, day on night, the imagined{{pb}}On the real. This is the origin of change. <br> Winter and spring, cold copulars, embrace <br> And forth the particulars of rapture come. ** IV * Music falls on the silence like a sense, <br> A passion that we feel, not understand. ** IV * In solitude the trumpets of solitude <br> Are not of another solitude resounding; <br> A little string speaks for a crowd of voices. ** IV * The partaker partakes of that which changes him. <br> The child that touches takes character from the thing, <br> The body, it touches. The captain and his men{{pb}}Are one and the sailor and the sea are one. ** IV * On a blue island in a sky-wide water <br> The wild orange trees continued to bloom and to bear, <br> Long after the planter’s death. ** V * An unaffected man in a negative light <br> Could not have borne his labor nor have died <br> Sighing that he should leave the banjo’s twang. ** V * Bethou me, said sparrow, to the crackled blade, <br> And you, and you, bethou me as you blow, <br> When in my coppice you behold me be. ** VI * There was such idiot minstrelsy in rain, <br> So many clappers going without bells, <br> That these bethous compose a heavenly gong. {{pb}} One voice repeating, one tireless chorister, <br> The phrases of a single phrase, ke-ke, <br> A single text, granite monotony ** VI * Eye without lid, mind without any dream —{{pb}}These are of minstrels lacking minstrelsy, <br> Of an earth in which the first leaf is the tale <br> Of leaves, in which the sparrow is a bird{{pb}}Of stone, that never changes. Bethou him, you <br> And you, bethou him and bethou. It is <br> A sound like any other. It will end. ** VI * Tonight the lilacs magnify <br> The easy passion, the ever-ready love <br> Of the lover that lies within us and we breathe{{pb}}An odor evoking nothing, absolute.''' <br> We encounter in the dead middle of the night <br> The purple odor, the abundant bloom. ** VII * The fluctuations of certainty, the change <br> Of degrees of perception in the scholar’s dark. ** VII * I am the spouse. She took her necklace off <br> And laid it in the sand. As I am, I am <br> The spouse. She opened her stone-studded belt. {{pb}} I am the spouse, divested of bright gold, <br> The spouse beyond emerald or amethyst, <br> Beyond the burning body that I bear. {{pb}} I am the woman stripped more nakedly <br> Than nakedness, standing before an inflexible <br> Order, saying I am the contemplated spouse. ** VIII * Clothe me entire in the final filament, <br> So that I tremble with such love so known <br> And myself am precious for your perfecting. ** VIII * A fictive covering <br> Weaves always glistening from the heart and mind. ** VIII * The poem goes form the poet’s gibberish to <br> The gibberish of the vulgate and back again. ** IX * Is there a poem that never reaches words {{pb}} And one that chaffers the time away? <br> Is the poem both peculiar and general? <br> There’s a meditation there, in which there seems{{pb}}To be an evasion, a thing not apprehended or <br> Not apprehended well. Does the poet <br> Evade us, as in a senseless element? ** IX * He tries by a peculiar speech to speak {{pb}} The peculiar potency of the general. ** IX * Like a page of music, like an upper air, <br> Like a momentary color, in which swans <br> Were seraphs, were saints, were changing essences. {{pb}} The west wind was the music, the motion, the force <br> To which the swans curveted, a will to change, <br> A will to make iris frettings on the blank. ** IX * The casual is not Enough. The freshness of transformation is{{pb}}The freshness of a world.''' It is our own, <br> It is ourselves, the freshness of ourselves, <br> And that necessity and that presentation{{pb}}Are rubbings of a glass in which we peer. * Of these beginnings, gay and green, propose <br> The suitable amours. Time will write them down. ==== It Must Give Pleasure ==== [[File:CandleWPC.jpg|thumb|]] * To speak of joy and to sing of it, borne on <br> The shoulders of joyous men, to feel the heart <br> That is the common, the bravest fundament, {{pb}} This is a facile exercise. ** I * The difficultest rigor is forthwith, <br> On the image of what we see, to catch from that <br> Irrational moment its unreasoning, <br> As when the sun comes rising, when the sea <br> Clears deeply, when the moon hangs on the wall{{pb}} Of heaven-haven. These are not things transformed. <br> Yet we are shaken by them as if they were. <br> We reason about them with a later reason. ** I * The blue woman, linked and lacquered, at her window <br> Did not desire that feathery argentines <br> Should be cold silver, neither that frothy clouds{{pb}} Should foam, be foamy waves, should move like them ** II * It was enough for her that she remembered. ** II * Red-in-red repetitions never going <br> Away,a little rusty, a little rouged, <br> A little roughened and ruder, a crown{{pb}}The eye could not escape, a red renown <br> Blowing itself upon the tedious ear. ** III * A dead shepherd brought tremendous chords from hell{{pb}}And bad the sheep carouse. Or so they said. <br> Children in love with them brought early flowers <br> And scattered them about, no two alike. ** III * We reason of these things with later reason <br> And we make of what we see, what we see clearly <br> And have seen, a place dependent on ourselves. ** IV * This was their ceremonial hymn: Anon <br> We loved but would no marriage make. Anon <br> The one refused the other one to take,{{pb}}Foreswore the sipping of the marriage wine. ** IV * Each must the other take as sign, short sign <br> To stop the whirlwind, balk the elements. ** IV * They married well because the marriage-place <br> Was what they loved. It was neither heaven nor hell. <br> They were love’s characters come face to face. ** IV * The words they spoke were voices that she heard. <br> She looked at them and saw them as they were <br> And what she felt fought off the barest phrase. ** V * The nothingness was a nakedness, a point,{{pb}}Beyond which fact could not progress as fact. <br> Thereon the learning of the man conceived <br> Once more night’s pale illuminations, gold{{pb}}Beneath, far underneath, the surface of <br> His eye and audible in the mountain of <br> His ear, the very material of his mind. ** VI * Straight to the utmost crown of night he flew. <br> The nothingness was a nakedness, a point{{pb}}Beyond which thought could not progress as thought. <br> He had to choose. But it was not a choice <br> Between excluding things. It was not a choice{{pb}}Between, but of. '''He chose to include the things <br> That in each other are included, the whole, <br> The complicate, the amassing harmony.''' ** VI * He imposes orders as he thinks of them, <br> As the fox and snake do. It is a brave affair. ** VII * But to impose is not <br> To discover. To discover an order as of <br> A season, to discover summer and know it,{{pb}}To discover winter and know it well, to find <br> Not to impose, not to have reasoned at all, <br> Out of nothing to have come on major weather,{{pb}}It is possible, possible, possible. It must <br> Be possible. It must be that in time <br> The real will from its crude compoundings come,{{pb}}Seeming at first, a beast disgorged, unlike, <br> Warmed by a desperate milk. To find the real, <br> To be stripped of every fiction except one,{{pb}}The fiction of an absolute — Angel, <br> Be silent in your luminous cloud and hear <br> The luminous melody of proper sound. ** VII * What am I to believe? If the angel in his cloud, <br> Serenely gazing at the violent abyss, <br> Plucks on his strings to pluck abysmal glory, {{pb}} Leaps downward through evening’s revelations, and <br> On his spredden wings, needs nothing but deep space, <br> Forgets the gold centre, the golden destiny,{{pb}} Grows warm in the motionless motion of his flight, <br> '''Am I that imagine this angel less-satisfied? <br> Are the wings his, the lapis-haunted air?''' ** VIII * Is it he or is it I that experience this? ** VIII * There is a month, a year, there is a time <br> In which majesty is a mirror of the self: <br> I have not but I am and as I am, I am. ** VIII * These external regions, what do we fill them with <br> Except reflections, the escapades of death,<br>Cinderella fulfilling herself beneath the roof. ** VIII * '''I can <br> Do all that angels can.''' I enjoy like them, <br> Like men besides, like men in light secluded, {{pb}} Enjoying angels. ** IX * A thing final in itself and, therefore, good: <br> One of the vast repetitions final in <br> Themselves and, therefore, good, the going round {{pb}} And round and round, the merely going round, <br> Until merely going round is a final good, <br> The way wine comes at a table in a wood. ** IX * &nbsp;&nbsp; Perhaps, <br> The man-hero is not the exceptional monster, <br> But he that of repetition is most master. ** IX * Fat girl, terrestrial, my summer, my night, <br> How is it I find you in difference, see you there <br> In a moving contour, a change not quite completed?{{pb}}You are familiar yet an aberration. ** X * You remain the more than natural figure. You <br> Become the soft-footed phantom, the irrational{{pb}}Distortion, however fragrant, however dear. <br> That’s it: the more than rational distortion, <br> The fiction that results from feeling. Yes, that. ** X * '''They will get it straight one day at the Sorbonne.''' <br> We shall return at twilight from the lecture <br> Pleased that the irrational is rational,{{pb}}Until flicked by feeling, in a gildered street, <br> I call you by name, my green, my fluent mundo. ** X ;Unsorted * Soldier, there is a war between the mind <br> And sky, between thought and day and night. It is <br> For that the poet is always in the sun, {{pb}} Patches the moon together in his room <br> To his Virgilian cadences, up down, <br> Up down. It is a war that never ends. * Yet it depends on yours. The two are one. <br> They are a plural, a right and left, a pair, <br> Two parallels that meet if only in * The meeting of their shadows or that meet <br> In a book in a barrack, a letter from Malay. <br> But your war ends. And after it you return * With six meats and twelve wines or else without <br> To walk another room...Monsieur and comrade, <br> The soldier is poor without the poet’s lines. * His petty syllabi, the sounds that stick, <br> Inevitably modulating, in the blood. <br> And war for war, each has its gallant kind. {{pb}} How simply the fictive hero becomes the real; <br> How gladly with proper words the solider dies, <br> If he must, or lives on the bread of faithful speech. === ''Parts of a World'' (1942) === :<small>'''New York: Alfred A. Knopf'''</small> * Home from Guatemala, back at the Waldorf. <br> This arrival in the wild country of the soul, <br> All approaches gone, being completely there, <br> Where the wild poem is a substitute <br> For the woman one loves or ought to love, <br> One wild rhapsody a fake for another.{{pb}}You touch the hotel the way you touch moonlight <br> Or sunlight and you hum and the orchestra <br> Hums and you say "The world in a verse,{{pb}}A generation sealed, men remoter than mountains, <br> Women invisible in music and motion and color," <br> After that alien, point-blank, green and actual Guatemala. ** "Arrival at the Waldorf" * The prologues are over. It is a question, now,<br>Of final belief. So, say that final belief<br>Must be in a fiction. It is time to choose. ** "Asides on the Oboe", st. 1 * A. A violent order is disorder; and <br> B. A great disorder is an order. These <br> Two things are one. ** "Connoisseur of Chaos", st. 1 * And, capable, created in his mind,<br>Eventual victor, out of the martyrs’ bones<br>The ultimate elegance: the imagined land. ** "Mrs. Alfred Uruguay", st. 4 * That's what misery is, <br> Nothing to have at heart. <br> It is to have or nothing.{{pb}}It is a thing to have, <br> A lion, an ox in his breast, <br> To feel it breathing there.{{pb}}Corazon, stout dog, <br> Young ox, bow-legged bear, <br> He tastes its blood, not spit.{{pb}}He is like a man <br> In the body of a violent beast. <br> Its muscles are his own...{{pb}}The lion sleeps in the sun. <br> Its nose is on its paws. <br> It can kill a man. ** "Poetry is a Destructive Force" * &nbsp;&nbsp; Light<br>Is the lion that comes down to drink. ** "The Glass of Water", st. 2 * One’s grand flights, one’s Sunday baths,<br>One’s tootings at the weddings of the soul<br>Occur as they occur. ** "The Sense of the Sleight-of-Hand Man", st. 1 * After the final no there comes a yes <br> And on that yes the future world depends. <br> No was the night. Yes is this present sun. ** "The Well Dressed Man with a Beard" * One thing remaining, infallible, would be <br> Enough. ** "The Well Dressed Man with a Beard" * Out of a thing believed, a thing affirmed: <br> The form on the pillow humming while one sleeps, <br> The aureole above the humming house... <br> '''It can never be satisfied, the mind, never. ** "The Well Dressed Man with a Beard" === ''The Language of Poetry'' (1942) === :<small>'''Princeton, NJ: Princeton UP'''</small> * The subject-matter of poetry is not that "collection of solid, static objects extended in space" but the life that is lived in the scene that it composes; and so reality is not that external scene but the life that is lived in it. Reality is things as they are. ** "The Noble Rider and the Sound of Words", IV * What makes the poet the potent figure that he is, or was, or ought to be, is that he creates the world to which we turn incessantly and without knowing it and that he gives to life the supreme fictions without which we are unable to conceive of it. ** "The Noble Rider and the Sound of Words", V <!-- p. 121 --> * His function is to make his imagination theirs and that he fulfils himself only as he sees his imagination become the light in the minds of others. His role, in short, is to help people to live their lives. ** "The Noble Rider and the Sound of Words", V === ''Transport to Summer'' (1947) === :<small>'''New York: Alfred A. Knopf'''</small> [[File:Wallace Stevens House - Hartford, CT.jpg|thumb|So many selves, so many sensuous worlds, <br> As if the air, the mid-day air, was swarming <br> With the metaphysical changes that occur, <br> Merely in living as and where we live.]] * Thus the theory of description matters most.<br>It is the theory of the word for those{{pb}}For whom the word is the making of the world,<br>The buzzing world and lisping firmament.{{pb}}It is a world of words to the end of it,<br>In which nothing solid is its solid self. ** "Description Without Place", VII * It was the last nostalgia: that he<br>Should understand. ** "Esthétique du Mal", X * The greatest poverty is not to live<br>In a physical world, to feel that one’s desire<br>Is too difficult to tell from despair. ** "Esthétique du Mal", XV * One might have thought of sight, but who could think <br> Of what it sees, for all the ill it sees? <br> Speech found the ear, for all the evil sound, <br> But the dark italics it could not propound. <br> And out of what sees and hears and out <br> Of what one feels, who could have thought to make <br> So many selves, so many sensuous worlds, <br> As if the air, the mid-day air, was swarming <br> With the metaphysical changes that occur, <br> Merely in living as and where we live. ** "Esthétique du Mal", XV * Life consists <br> Of propositions about life. The human <br> Revery is a solitude in which <br> We compose these propositions, torn by dreams, {{pb}} By the terrible incantations of defeats <br> And by the fear that the defeats and the dreams are one. {{pb}} '''The whole race is a poet that writes down <br> The eccentric propositions of its fate.''' ** "Men Made Out of Words" * If there must be a god in the house, must be, <br> Saying things in the room and on the stair,{{pb}}Let him move as the sunlight moves on the floor, <br> Or moonlight, '''silently, as Plato's ghost{{pb}}Or Aristotle's skeleton.''' Let him hang out <br> His stars on the wall. He must dwell quietly.{{pb}}He must be incapable of speaking, closed, <br> As those are: as light, for all its motion, is;{{pb}}As color, even the closest to us, is; <br> As shapes, though they portend us, are.{{pb}}It is the human that is the alien, <br> The human that has no cousin in the moon.{{pb}}It is the human that demands his speech <br> From beasts or from the incommunicable mass.{{pb}}If there must be a god in the house, let him be one <br> That will not hear us when we speak: a coolness{{pb}}A vermillioned nothingness, any stick of the mass <br> Of which we are too distantly a part. ** "Less and Less Human, O Savage Spirit" * &nbsp;&nbsp; To get at the thing<br>Without gestures is to get at it as<br>Idea. ** "So-and-So Reclining on Her Couch", st. 6 * The house was quiet and the world was calm. <br> The reader became the book; and summer night <br> Was like the conscious being of the book. <br> The house was quiet and the world was calm. <br> The words were spoken as if there was no book, <br> Except that the reader leaned above the page, <br> Wanted to lean, wanted much most to be <br> The scholar to whom the book is true, to whom <br> The summer night is like a perfection of thought. <br> The house was quiet because it had to be. <br> The quiet was part of the meaning, part of the mind: <br> The access of perfection to the page. <br> And the world was calm. The truth in a calm world, <br> In which there is no other meaning, itself <br> Is calm, itself is summer and night, itself <br> Is the reader leaning late and reading there. ** "The House Was Quiet and the World Was Calm" === ''The Auroras of Autumn'' (1950) === :<small>'''New York: Alfred A. Knopf'''</small> * I am the angel of reality, <br> Seen for a moment standing in the door. ** "Angel Surrounded by Paysans" (1949) * I am one of you and being one of you <br> Is being and knowing what I am and know. <br> Yet I am the necessary angel of earth, <br> Since, in my sight, you see the earth again, <br> Cleared of its stiff and stubborn, man-locked set <br> And, in my hearing, you hear its tragic drone <br> Rise liquidly in liquid lingerings, <br> Like watery words awash; like meanings said <br> By repetitions of half-meanings. Am I not, <br> Myself, only half a figure of a sort, <br> A figure half seen, or seen for a moment, a man <br> Of the mind, an apparition appareled in <br> Apparels of such lightest look that a turn <br> Of my shoulders and quickly, too quickly, I am gone? ** "Angel Surrounded by Paysans" * We keep coming back and coming back<br>To the real: to the hotel instead of the hymns<br>That fall upon it out of the wind. ** "An Ordinary Evening in New Haven", IX * &nbsp;&nbsp; A more severe,<br>More harassing master would extemporize<br>Subtler, more urgent proof that the theory<br>Of poetry is the theory of life,<br>As it is, in the intricate evasions of as,<br>In things seen and unseen, created from nothingness,<br>The heavens, the hells, the worlds, the longed-for lands. ** "An Ordinary Evening in New Haven", XXVIII * It is not in the premise that reality <br> Is a solid. It may be a shade that traverses <br> A dust, a force that traverses a shade. ** "An Ordinary Evening in New Haven" * Reality is the [[beginning]] not the end, <br> Naked Alpha, not the hierophant Omega, <br> Of dense investiture, with luminous vassals. ** "An Ordinary Evening in New Haven" * And one trembles to be so understood and, at last,<br>To understand, as if to know became<br>The fatality of seeing things too well. ** "The Novel", st. 16 === ''The Necessary Angel'' (1951) === :<small>''The Necessary Angel: Essays on Reality and the Imagination'' {{ISBN|0-394-70278-6}} </small> * There is always an analogy between [[nature]] and the [[imagination]], and possibly poetry is merely the strange rhetoric of that parallel. ** "Effects of Analogy" * The [[imagination]] loses vitality as it ceases to adhere to what is real. When it adheres to the unreal and intensifies what is unreal, while its first effect may be extraordinary, that effect is the maximum effect that it will ever have. ** "Imagination as Value" * The best definition of true imagination is that it is the sum of our faculties. Poetry is the scholar's art. The acute intelligence of the imagination, the illimitable resources of its memory, its power to possess the moment it perceives — if we were speaking of light itself, and thinking of the relationship between objects and light, no further demonstration would be necessary ... What light requires a day to do, and by day I mean a kind of Biblical revolution of time, the imagination does in the twinkling of an eye. It colors, increases, brings to a beginning and end, invents languages, crushes men, and, for that matter, gods in its hands, it says to women more than it is possible to say, it rescues all of us from what we have called absolute fact. ** "Imagination as Value" * For the poet, the imagination is paramount, and ... he dwells apart in his imagination, as the philosopher dwells in his reason, and as the priest dwells in his belief … The imagination is the power of the mind over the possibilities of things." ** "Imagination as Value" * The operation of the imagination in life is more significant than its operation in or in relation to works of art... in life what is important is the truth as it is, while in arts and letters what is important is truth as we see it. ** "Imagination as Value" * What the poet has in mind ... is that poetic value is an intrinsic value. It is not the value of knowledge. It is not the value of faith. It is the value of imagination. The poet tries to exemplify it, in part as I have tried to exemplify it here, by identifying it with an imaginative activity that diffuses itself throughout our lives. ** "Imagination as Value" * The imagination is the power that enables us to perceive the normal in the abnormal, the opposite of chaos in chaos. ** "Imagination as Value" * The truth seems to be that we live in concepts of the imagination before the reason has established them. If this is true, then reason is simply the methodizer of the imagination. ** "Imagination as Value" * The world about us would be desolate except for the world within us. ** "Imagination as Value" * The paramount relation between poetry and painting today, between modern man and modern art, is simply this: that in an age in which disbelief is so profoundly prevalent or, if not disbelief, indifference to questions of belief, poetry and painting, and the arts in general, are, in their measure, a compensation for what has been lost. Men feel that the imagination is the next greatest power to faith: the reigning prince. ** "Imagination as Value" * Our own time, and by this I mean the last two or three generations, including our own, can be summed up in a way that brings into unity an immense number of details by saying of it that it is a time in which the search for the supreme truth has been a search in reality or through reality or even a search for some supremely acceptable fiction. ** "Imagination as Value" * The humble are they that move about the world with the lure of the real in their hearts. ** "About One of Marianne Moore’s Poems" * It may be dismissed, on the one hand, as a commonplace aesthetic satisfaction: and, on the other hand, if we say that the idea of God is merely a poetic idea, even if the supreme poetic idea, and that our notions of heaven and hell are merely poetry not so called, even if poetry that involves us vitally, the feeling of deliverance, of a release, of a perfection touched, of a vocation so that all men may know the truth and that the truth may set them free — if we say these things and if we are able to see the poet who achieved God and placed Him in His seat in heaven in all His glory, the poet himself, still in the ecstasy of the poem that completely accomplished its purpose, would have seemed, whether young or old, whether in rags or ceremonial robe, a man who needed what he had created, uttering the hymns of joy that followed his creation. This may be a gross exaggeration of a very simple matter. But perhaps the same is true of many of the more prodigious things of life and death. ** "The Figure of the Youth as Virile Poet" === ''Collected Poems'' (1954) === :<small>'''New York: Alfred A. Knopf'''</small> * One of the limits of reality <br> Presents itself in Oley when the hay, <br> Baked through long days, is piled in mows. It is <br> A land too ripe for enigmas, too serene. <br> * * * <br> Things stop in that direction and since they stop <br> The direction stops and we accept what is <br> As [[good]]. The utmost must be good and is. ** "Credences of Summer" * Let’s see the very thing and nothing else. <br> Let’s see it with the hottest fire of sight. <br> Burn everything not part of it to ash. <br> Trace the gold sun about the whitened sky <br> Without evasion by a single metaphor. <br> Look at it in its essential barrenness <br> And say this, this is the centre that I seek. ** "Credences of Summer" * Exile desire <br> For what is not. This is the barrenness <br> Of the fertile thing that can attain no more. ** "Credences of Summer" * Light the first light of evening, as in a room <br> In which we rest and, for small reason, think <br> The world imagined is the ultimate good. ** "Final Soliloquy of the Interior Paramour", st. 1 * '''We say God and the imagination are one... <br> How high that highest candle lights the dark.''' <br> Out of this same light, out of the central mind, <br> We make a dwelling in the evening air, <br> In which being there together is enough. ** "Final Soliloquy of the Interior Paramour", st. 5 * This is, therefore, the intensest rendezvous. <br> It is in that thought that we collect ourselves, <br> Out of all the indifferences, into one thing ** "Final Soliloquy of the Interior Paramour" * At the earliest ending of winter, <br> In March, a scrawny cry from outside <br> Seemed like a sound in his mind. <br> He knew that he heard it, <br> A bird's cry, at daylight or before, <br> In the early March wind. ** "Not Ideas About the Thing but the Thing Itself", st. 1 * '''That scrawny cry — It was <br> A chorister whose c preceded the choir. <br> It was part of the colossal sun,''' <br> Surrounded by its choral rings, <br> Still far away. It was like <br> A new knowledge of reality. ** "Not Ideas About the Thing but the Thing Itself", st. 5 * There it was, word for word,<br>The poem that took the place of a mountain. ** "The Poem That Took the Place of a Mountain", st. 1 * Total grandeur of a total edifice,<br>Chosen by an inquisitor of structures<br>For himself. He stops upon this threshold<br>As if the design of all his words takes form<br>And frame from thinking and is realized. ** "To an Old Philosopher in Rome", st. 16 === ''Opus Posthumous'' (1957) === :<small>'''New York: Alfred A. Knopf'''</small> [[File:Wallace Stevens signature.svg|thumb|Style is not something applied. It is something that permeates.]] * Let wise men piece the world together with wisdom <br> Or poets with holy magic. <br> Hey-di-ho. ** "Hieroglyphica" <!-- date? 1934 --> * After one has abandoned a belief in God, poetry is that essence which takes its place as life’s redemption. ** "Proverbs", from ''Sur Plusieurs Beaux Sujects'' (1932–1937) * To see the gods dispelled in mid-air and dissolve like clouds is one of the great human experiences. It is not as if they had gone over the horizon to disappear for a time; nor as if they had been overcome by other gods of greater power and profounder knowledge. It is simply that they came to nothing. <!-- p. 260 --> ** "Two or Three Ideas" (1951) * '''Style is not something applied. It is something that permeates.''' It is of the nature of that in which it is found, whether the poem, the manner of a god, the bearing of a man. It is not a dress. ** "Two or Three Ideas" * The number of ways of passing between the traditional two fixed points of man’s life, that is to say, of passing from the self to God, is fixed only by the limitations of space, which is limitless. The eternal philosopher is the eternal pilgrim on that road. It is difficult to take him seriously when he relies on the evidence of the teeth, the throat and the bowels. Yet in the one poem that is unimpeachably divine, the poem of the ascent into heaven, it is possible to say that there can be no faults, since it is precisely the faults of life this poem enables us to leave behind. If the idea of God is the ultimate poetic idea, then the idea of the ascent into heaven is only a little below it. ** "A Collect of Philosophy" (1951) <!-- p. 369 http://books.google.com/books?id=qztUqewMpa0C&pg=PT369 --> ==== Adagia ==== * A grandiose subject is not an assurance of a grandiose effect but, most likely, of the opposite. * Sentimentality is a failure of feeling. * A poem should be a part of one's sense of life. * A poet looks at the world as a man looks at a woman. * The poet makes silk dresses out of worms. * All history is modern history. * All poetry is experimental poetry. * Poetry is a purging of the world's poverty and change and evil and death. It is a present perfecting, a satisfaction in the irremediable poverty of life. * The imagination is one of the forces of nature. * To have nothing to say and to say it in a tragic manner is not the same thing as having something to say. * Man is an eternal sophomore. * The poet is a god, or, the young poet is a god. The old poet is a tramp. * To a large extent, the problems of poets are the problems of painters, and poets must often turn to the literature of painting for a discussion of their own problems. * God is in me or else is not at all (does not exist). * The world is a force, not a presence. * Poetry is a search for the inexplicable. * A poem is a meteor. * In the world of words, the imagination is one of the forces of nature. * The poet is the priest of the invisible. == Attributed == * [[Success]] as a result of industry is a peasant ideal. ** In [[Charles Bukowski]], "Ten Jack-Offs", ''The Most Beautiful Woman in Town'' (1983) * I like my [[philosophy]] smothered in [[beauty]] and not the opposite. ** In Bart Eeckhout, ''Wallace Stevens and the Limits of Reading and Writing'' (2002), Ch. 12 "Poeticizing Epistemology", p. 268 * Poetry is an effort of a dissatisfied man to find satisfaction through words. ** In Bart Eeckhout, ''Wallace Stevens and the Limits of Reading and Writing'' (2002), Ch. 12 "Poeticizing Epistemology", p. 268 == Quotes about Stevens == [[File:Poet in the City event on Wallace Stevens.jpg|thumb|Post-religious man, as Stevens saw him, still had a deep need for the kind of exaltation of the body and spirit which goes under different names in different religions — Christians call it [[w:Divine grace|grace]]. ~ [[Justin Quinn]]]] [[File:Library Walk 22.JPG|thumb|Contrary to all appearances, to the difficulty of his verse, and to the preoccupied, distracted interpretations of contemporary critics, Wallace Stevens' poetry is a profoundly spiritual force. Anyone interested in the spiritual problems of modern humans must reckon with it. ~ [[Dana Wilde]]]] * Post-religious man, as Stevens saw him, still had a deep need for the kind of exaltation of the body and spirit which goes under different names in different religions — Christians call it [[w:Divine grace|grace]], that is, the feeling or knowledge that the [[workings]] of [[God]] are revealed to the individual, thus lifting him or her up to a state of ecstatic consciousness. ... For the romantics in general such moments of ecstasis in the midst of nature are experienced by the solitary imagination, and the bonds of society are cast away as unimportant. Stevens once said that the romantic is a falsification, and perhaps the reason for the comment was his feeling that such moments of ecstatic relation in the midst of nature had to be given a ''social'' and eventually ''political'' meaning, rather than remaining in the arena of the spirit. Stevens poetry then offers a pastoral romantic ecstasis that become the occasions for searching out the relations between the individual, his or her [[community]] and the natural world. ** [[Justin Quinn]], [http://colloquium.upol.cz/coll00/quinn.htm "Nature & Ideology in Wallace Stevens"], ''colloquium.upol.cz'' (2000) *A more attractive attitude of defense was disclosed at a café. In one corner, a man was playing a guitar, and the stranger turned to watch him. The guitar player was good; the stop and tremble of the strings touched everyone in that room. "You know," said the stranger, "I respect creative people, any kind; I never used to feel that way, but something happened-I know a man in the city I come from, a business associate (I'm a lawyer)-we've gone on fishing trips for twenty years I know him fairly well, I'd say-big man, too: six foot four, weighs two hundred and forty pounds. Twenty years, and I just found out last month that he writes poems. I asked around; he's written books of them; very good, too, they say. I'm going to get ahold of some. But I sure feel different about creative people." "What is the name of your friend?" "Wallace Stevens," said the stranger. **[[Muriel Rukeyser]] ''The Life of Poetry'' (1949) * I turn now <br> not to [[the Bible]] <br> but to Wallace Stevens. ** [[R. S. Thomas]], in "Homage to Wallace Stevens" in ''No Truce with the Furies'' (1995) * [[Blessings]], Stevens; <br> I stand with my back to grammar <br> At an altar you never aspired <br> to, celebrating the sacrament <br> of the imagination whose high-priest <br> notwithstanding you are. ** [[R. S. Thomas]], in "Homage to Wallace Stevens" in ''No Truce with the Furies'' (1995) * At the [[heart]] of many of Stevens's poems are harsh and unpalatable [[experiences]] revealed only gradually through his intense stylization. ** [[w:Helen Vendler|Helen Vendler]], in ''The Columbia History of American Poetry'' (1993) edited by Jay Parini and Brett Candlish Millier * Stevens' way of informing us comes in language and imagery so radically different from previous times that it is difficult to recognize exactly what he means. But throughout his poetry he speaks, like the [[mystics]], primarily of the nature of our relationship with the universe. He continually circles back to the idea that we actively participate in what the world looks like and what it means. Although cast in modern terms, this idea is profoundly spiritual and moral. {{pb}} Since he gives no evidence of any direct visionary experience, it's not possible to say Stevens is a "mystic" or a "contemplative" poet. But he is a major figure in modern poetry because he synthesizes the concerns of the modern world — the emphasis on the human self as maker of meaning, the emphasis on scientific rationality, the emphasis on creating new forms to replace outmoded beliefs — with the perennial concerns of the human spirit. To find meaning, or the good — or by implication, God — we need to radically adjust our conception of reality. This takes powerful acts of individual imagination, and the possibilities are immense... Contrary to all appearances, to the difficulty of his verse, and to the preoccupied, distracted interpretations of contemporary critics, Wallace Stevens' poetry is a profoundly spiritual force. Anyone interested in the spiritual problems of modern humans must reckon with it. ** Dana Wilde [http://www.antigonishreview.com/bi-109/109-wilde.html "An Introduction to Reading Wallace Stevens as a Poet of the Human Spirit" in ''The Antigonish Review'' 109 (February 1999)] * Mr. Stevens is the master of a style: that is the most remarkable thing about him. His gift for combining words is baffling and fantastic but sure: even when you do not know what he is saying, you know that he is saying it well. ** [[Edmund Wilson]], 1924 review of ''Harmonium'', in ''The Shores of Light: A Literary Chronicle of the Twenties and Thirties'' (1952), p. 49 * Stevens is a poet who argues that [[life]] is what one makes of it within the limitations of one's own [[sensibility]]. ** Samuel French Morse in introduction to ''Poems by Wallace Stevens'' (1959), p. 13. == External links == * {{wikipedia-inline}} * {{Wikisource-inline}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Stevens, Wallace}} [[Category:Poets from the United States]] [[Category:Absurdists]] [[Category:Agnostics]] [[Category:Humanists]] [[Category:Mystics]] [[Category:Businesspeople from the United States]] [[Category:Lawyers from the United States]] [[Category:1879 births]] [[Category:1955 deaths]] [[Category:People from Pennsylvania]] [[Category:Formalist poets]] inzhg3h1jf9aqevnh7db2oc9wu22q6c 3942056 3942046 2026-05-17T13:46:26Z Ficaia 3085955 3942056 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Wallace Stevens, 1948.jpg|thumb|I like my [[philosophy]] smothered in [[beauty]] and not the opposite.]] '''[[w:Wallace Stevens|Wallace Stevens]]''' ([[2 October]] [[1879]] – [[2 August]] [[1955]]) was an American modernist [[poet]] and [[businessman]]. == Quotes == [[File:1916-S 50C (obv).jpg|thumb|One ought not to hoard culture. It should be adapted and infused into society as a leaven.]] [[File:Mercury dime pattern.jpg|thumb|To be young is all there is in the world.]] * One ought not to hoard [[culture]]. It should be adapted and infused into society as a leaven. Liberality of culture does not mean illiberality of its benefits. ** Journal entry (June 20, 1899); in Holly Stevens, ed., ''Souvenirs and Prophecies: The Young Wallace Stevens'' (New York: Knopf, 1977), ch. 3 * A diary is more or less the work of a man of clay whose hands are clumsy and in whose eyes there is no light. ** Journal entry (July 26, 1899); in ''Souvenirs and Prophecies'', ch. 3 * Poor, dear, silly Spring, preparing her annual surprise! ** Journal entry (March 4, 1906), in ''Souvenirs and Prophecies'', ch. 8 * In European thought in general, as contrasted with American, vigor, life and originality have a kind of easy, professional utterance. American — on the other hand, is expressed in an eager amateurish way. A European gives a sense of scope, of survey, of consideration. An American is strained, sensational. One is artistic gold; the other is bullion. ** Journal entry (April 9, 1906); in Holly Stevens, ed., ''Letters of Wallace Stevens'' (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1966), no. 112 * '''To be young is all there is in the world.''' The rest is nonsense — and cant. They talk so beautifully about [[work]] and having a family and a home (and I do, too, sometimes) — but it's all worry and head-aches and respectable poverty and forced gushing. ... Telling people how nice it is, when, in reality, you would give all of your last thirty years for one of your first thirty. Old people are tremendous frauds. ** Letter to his future wife Elsie Moll Kachel (March 21, 1907); in ''Letters of Wallace Stevens'', no. 125 * How full of trifles everything is! It is only one’s [[thoughts]] that fill a room with something more than furniture. ** Letter to his future wife Elsie Moll Kachel (May 16, 1907); in ''Souvenirs and Prophecies'', ch. 9 * Unfortunately there is nothing more inane than an Easter carol. It is a religious perversion of the activity of [[Spring]] in our blood. ** Letter to his future wife, Elsie Moll Kachel (April 23, 1916); in ''Letters of Wallace Stevens'', no. 202 * The day of the [[sun]] is like the day of a king. It is a promenade in the [[morning]], a sitting on the throne at noon, a pageant in the evening. ** Journal entry (April 20, 1920); in ''Souvenirs and Prophecies'', ch. 6 [[File:Casa Marina, Key West, Florida - Wallace Stevens (cropped).jpg|thumb|Everything is [[complicated]]; if that were not so, life and poetry and everything else would be a bore.]] * '''Everything is complicated'''; if that were not so, life and poetry and everything else would be a bore. ** Letter (December 19, 1935); in ''Letters of Wallace Stevens'', no. 336 * If some really acute observer made as much of [[egotism]] as [[Sigmund Freud|Freud]] has made of [[sex]], people would forget a good deal about sex and find the explanation for everything in egotism. ** Letter (January 10, 1936); in ''Letters of Wallace Stevens'', no. 339 * The essential thing in form is to be free in whatever form is used. A free form does not assure freedom. As a form, it is just one more form. So that it comes to this, I suppose, that I believe in freedom regardless of form. ** "A Note on Poetry" (1937); in William Rose Benét and Norman Holmes Pearson, eds., ''The Oxford Anthology of American Literature'', vol. 2 (New York: Oxford UP, 1938), p. 1325 * Poetry is poetry, and one’s objective as a poet is to achieve poetry precisely as one’s objective in music is to achieve music. ** "Why He Selected 'Domination in Black'", in Whit Burnett, ed., ''This Is My Best'' (New York: The Dial Press, 1942), p. 652 * The palm at the end of the mind,<br>Beyond the last thought, rises...{{pb}}A gold-feathered bird<br>Sings in the palm. ** "Of Mere Being", sts. 1–2, in Holly Stevens, ed., ''The Palm at the End of the Mind: Selected Poems and a Play'' (New York: Vintage, 1972), p. 398 === ''Harmonium'' (1923) === [[File:In the Peristyle, by Waterhouse (WikiArt).jpg|thumb|Poetry is the supreme fiction, madame.]] <!--[[File:Boyle Abbey Nave 1997 09 17.jpg|thumb|Take the moral law and make a [[w:Nave|nave]] of it <br> And from the nave build haunted heaven.]]--> <!--[[File:Christ's triumphal entry into Jerusalem, by Félix Louis Leullier - WikiArt.png|thumb|Palm for palm, <br> Madame, we are where we began.]]--> * '''Poetry is the supreme fiction, madame.''' <br> Take the moral law and make a [[w:Nave|nave]] of it <br> And from the nave build haunted heaven. Thus, <br> The conscience is converted into palms, <br> Like windy [[w:Cittern|citherns]] hankering for hymns. ** "[[w:A High-Toned Old Christian Woman|A High-Toned Old Christian Woman]]", l. 1 ** First published in ''The Dial'', no. 73 (July 1922) * We agree in principle. That's clear. But take <br> The opposing law and make a [[w:peristyle|peristyle]], <br> And from the peristyle project a masque <br> Beyond the planets. Thus, our bawdiness, <br> Unpurged by epitaph, indulged at last, <br> Is equally converted into palms, <br> Squiggling like saxophones. And palm for palm, <br> Madame, we are where we began. ** "A High-Toned Old Christian Woman", l. 6 * This will make widows wince. But fictive things <br> Wink as they will. Wink most when widows wince. ** "A High-Toned Old Christian Woman", l. 21 * I placed a jar in Tennessee <br> And round it was, upon a hill. <br> It made the slovenly wilderness <br> Surround that hill. <br> The wilderness rose upon it, <br> And sprawled around, no longer wild. ** "[[w:Anecdote of the Jar|Anecdote of the Jar]]" * It took dominion everywhere. <br> The jar was gray and bare. <br> It did not give of bird or bush, <br> Like nothing else in Tennessee. ** "Anecdote of the Jar" * The soul, he said, is composed <br> Of the external world. ** "[[w:Anecdote of Men by the Thousand|Anecdote of Men by the Thousand]]" * '''There are men of the East, he said, <br> who are the East.''' <br> There are men of a province <br> who are that province. <br> There are men of a valley <br> who are that valley. ** "Anecdote of Men by the Thousand" [[File:An elderly Tibetan women holding a prayer wheel on Lhasa, Barkhor.jpg|thumb|The dress of a woman of Lhassa, <br> in its place <br> is an invisible element of that place <br> made visible.]] * The dress of a woman of Lhassa, <br> in its place <br> is an invisible element of that place <br> made visible. ** "Anecdote of Men by the Thousand" * Chieftain Iffucan of Azcan in caftan<br>Of tan with henna hackles, halt! ** "[[w:Bantam in Pine-Woods|Bantam in Pine-Woods]]", st. 1 * Damned universal cock, as if the sun<br>Was blackamoor to bear your blazing tail. ** "Bantam in Pine-Woods", st. 2 * The houses are haunted<br>By white night-gowns.<br>None are green,<br>Or purple with green rings,<br>Or green with yellow rings,<br>Or yellow with blue rings.<br>None of them are strange,<br>With socks of lace<br>And beaded ceintures.<br>People are not going<br>To dream of baboons and periwinkles.<br>'''Only, here and there, an old sailor,<br>Drunk and asleep in his boots,<br>Catches tigers<br>In red weather.''' ** "[[w:Disillusionment of Ten O'Clock|Disillusionment of Ten O'Clock]]" [[File:PeackockSide.jpg|thumb|right|I heard them cry — the peacocks.]] <!--[[File:PavoReal albino.jpg|thumb|I felt afraid. <br> And I remembered the cry of the peacocks.]]--> * '''I heard them cry — the peacocks.''' <br> Was it a cry against the twilight <br> Or against the leaves themselves <br> Turning in the wind, <br> Turning as the flames <br> Turned in the fire, <br> Turning as the tails of the peacocks <br> Turned in the loud fire, <br> Loud as the hemlocks <br> Full of the cry of the peacocks? <br> Or was it a cry against the hemlocks? ** "Domination of Black" * I saw how the night came, <br> Came striding like the color of the heavy hemlocks. <br> I felt afraid. <br> And I remembered the cry of the peacocks. ** "Domination of Black" * Frogs Eat Butterflies. Snakes Eat Frogs. Hogs Eat Snakes. Men Eat Hogs. ** [[w:Frogs Eat Butterflies. Snakes Eat Frogs. Hogs Eat Snakes. Men Eat Hogs|Title of poem]] * That strange flower, the [[sun]], <br> Is just what you say. <br> Have it your way.{{pb}}The world is ugly, <br> And the people are sad. ** "Gubbinal" * That tuft of jungle feathers, <br> That animal eye, <br> Is just what you say.{{pb}}That savage of fire, <br> That seed, <br> Have it your way.{{pb}}The world is ugly, <br> And the people are sad. ** "Gubbinal" * Twenty men crossing a bridge, <br> Into a village, <br> Are twenty men crossing twenty bridges, <br> Into twenty villages, <br> Or one man <br> Crossing a single bridge into a village. ** "[[w:Metaphors of a Magnifico|Metaphors of a Magnifico]]" * This is old song <br> That will not declare itself. ** "Metaphors of a Magnifico" * Twenty men crossing a bridge, <br> Into a village, <br> Are <br> Twenty men crossing a bridge <br> Into a village. ** "Metaphors of a Magnifico" * The boots of the men clump <br> On the boards of the bridge. <br> The first white wall of the village <br> Rises through fruit-trees. <br> Of what was it I was thinking? <br> So the meaning escapes. ** "Metaphors of a Magnifico" [[File:STS-95 Florida From Space.jpg|thumb|A few things for themselves, <br> [[Florida]], venereal soil, <br> Disclose to the lover.]] * A few things for themselves, <br> [[Florida]], venereal soil, <br> Disclose to the lover. ** "[[w:O Florida, Venereal Soil|O Florida, Venereal Soil]]" * Donna, donna, dark, <br> Stooping in indigo gown <br> And cloudy constellations, <br> Conceal yourself or disclose <br> Fewest things to the lover — <br> A hand that bears a thick-leaved fruit, <br> A pungent bloom against your shade. ** "O Florida, Venereal Soil" * Gloomy grammarians in golden gowns, <br> Meekly you keep the mortal rendezvous, <br> Eliciting the still sustaining pomps <br> Of speech which are like music so profound <br> They seem an exaltation without sound. ** "[[w:On the Manner of Addressing Clouds|On the Manner of Addressing Clouds]]" * These <br> Are the [[music]] of meet resignation; these <br> The responsive, still sustaining pomps for you <br> To magnify, if in that drifting waste <br> You are to be accompanied by more <br> Than mute bare splendors of the [[sun]] and [[moon]]. ** "On the Manner of Addressing Clouds" [[File:Stuck Susanna.jpg|thumb|Susanna's music touched the bawdy strings <br> Of those white elders; but, escaping, <br> Left only Death's ironic scraping.]] * Just as my fingers on these keys <br> Make music, so the self-same sounds <br> On my spirit make a music, too. <br> '''Music is feeling, then, not sound; <br> And thus it is that what I feel, <br> Here in this room, desiring you, <br> Thinking of your blue-shadowed silk, <br> Is music.''' ** "[[w:Peter Quince at the Clavier|Peter Quince at the Clavier]]", I ** First published in [[w:Others: A Magazine of the New Verse|''Others: A Magazine of the New Verse'']] (1915) * In the green water, clear and warm, <br> [[w:Susanna (Book of Daniel)|Susanna]] lay. <br> She searched <br> The touch of springs, <br> And found <br> Concealed imaginings. <br> She sighed, <br> For so much melody. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", II * Upon the bank, she stood <br> In the cool <br> Of spent emotions. <br> She felt, among the leaves, <br> The dew <br> Of old devotions. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", II * She walked upon the grass, <br> Still quavering. <br> The winds were like her maids, <br> On timid feet, <br> Fetching her woven scarves, <br> Yet wavering. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", II * A breath upon her hand <br> Muted the night. <br> She turned — <br> A cymbal crashed, <br> Amid roaring horns. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", II [[File:Elsie Stevens LCCN2014699244 (cropped).jpg|thumb|Beauty is momentary in the mind — <br> The fitful tracing of a portal; <br> But in the flesh it is immortal. {{pb}} The body dies; the body's beauty lives.]] * '''Beauty is momentary in the mind — <br> The fitful tracing of a portal; <br> But in the flesh it is immortal. {{pb}} The body dies; the body's beauty lives.''' <br> So evenings die, in their green going, <br> A wave, interminably flowing. <br> So gardens die, their meek breath scenting <br> The cowl of winter, done repenting. <br> So maidens die, to the auroral <br> Celebration of a maiden's choral. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", IV * Susanna's music touched the bawdy strings <br> Of those white elders; but, escaping, <br> Left only Death's ironic scraping. <br> Now, in its immortality, it plays <br> On the clear viol of her memory, <br> And makes a constant sacrament of praise. ** "Peter Quince at the Clavier", IV [[File:Picswiss NW-26-35.jpg|thumb|[[Death]] is the mother of [[Beauty]].]] * Complacencies of the peignoir, and late<br>Coffee and oranges in a sunny chair,<br>And the green freedom of a cockatoo<br>Upon a rug mingle to dissipate<br>The holy hush of ancient sacrifice. ** "[[w:Sunday Morning (poem)|Sunday Morning]]", I * What is divinity if it can come<br>Only in silent shadows and in dreams? ** "Sunday Morning", II * She says, "But in contentment I still feel<br>The need of some imperishable bliss.<br>"'''Death is the mother of Beauty'''; hence from her,<br>Alone, shall come fulfilment to our dreams<br>And our desires. ** "Sunday Morning", V * We live in an old chaos of the sun, <br> Or an old dependency of day and night, <br> Or island solitude, unsponsored, free, <br> Of that wide water, inescapable.<br> Deer walk upon our mountains, and quail <br> Whistle about us their spontaneous cries; <br> Sweet berries ripen in the wilderness; <br> And, in the isolation of the sky, <br> At evening, casual flocks of pigeons make <br> Ambiguous undulations as they sink, <br> Downward to darkness, on extended wings. ** "Sunday Morning", VIII * The book of moonlight is not written yet. ** "[[w:The Comedian as the Letter C|The Comedian as the Letter C]]", III, st. 1 * And as he came he saw that it was spring,<br>A time abhorrent to the nihilist<br>Or searcher for the fecund minimum. ** "The Comedian as the Letter C", III, st. 4 * The natives of the rain are rainy men. ** "The Comedian as the Letter C", IV, st. 1 * The plum survives its poems. ** "The Comedian as the Letter C", V, st. 1 * Green crammers of the green fruits of the world. ** "The Comedian as the Letter C", VI, st. 2 [[File:Standard guide to Cuba - a new and complete guide to the island of Cuba, with maps, illustrations, routes of travel, history, and an English-Spanish phrase book (1909) (14594902008).jpg|thumb|Let be be finale of seem. <br> The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.]] <!--[[File:Women and Child - Cienfuegos - Cuba (3794729068).jpg|thumb|]]--> * Call the roller of big cigars,<br>The muscular one, and bid him whip<br>In kitchen cups concupiscent curds.<br>Let the wenches dawdle in such dress <br> As they are used to wear, and let the boys <br> Bring flowers in last month's newspapers. <br> '''Let be be finale of seem. <br> The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.''' ** "[[w:The Emperor of Ice-Cream|The Emperor of Ice-Cream]]", st. 1 <!-- [http://www.english.uiuc.edu/maps/poets/s_z/stevens/emperor.htm Commentary on this poem] at ''Modern American Poetry'' (University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign) // Compare: ''[[Hamlet]]'', act 1, sc. 2, ll. 70-89; act 4, sc. 3, ll. 19-28 (Folger Shakespeare Online) --> * Take from the dresser of deal, <br> Lacking the three glass knobs, that sheet <br> On which she embroidered fantails once <br> And spread it so as to cover her face. <br> If her horny feet protrude, they come <br> To show how cold she is, and dumb. <br> Let the lamp affix its beam. <br> The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream. ** "The Emperor of Ice-Cream", st. 2 * The essential gaudiness of poetry. ** "The Emperor of Ice Cream", note [[File:2026-03-01 Snow in Tsqneti Forest Park.jpg|thumb|One must have a mind of winter <br> To regard the frost and the boughs <br> Of the pine-trees crusted with snow;<br>* * *<br>&nbsp;&nbsp;and not to think <br> Of any misery in the sound of the wind.]] * One must have a mind of winter <br> To regard the frost and the boughs <br> Of the pine-trees crusted with snow;{{pb}}And have been cold a long time <br> To behold the junipers shagged with ice, <br> The spruces rough in the distant glitter{{pb}}Of the January sun; and not to think <br> Of any misery in the sound of the wind, <br> In the sound of a few leaves,{{pb}}Which is the sound of the land <br> Full of the same wind <br> That is blowing in the same bare place{{pb}}For the listener, who listens in the snow, <br> And, nothing himself, beholds <br> Nothing that is not there and the nothing that is. ** "[[w:The Snow Man|The Snow Man]]" [[File:Boat-tailed Grackle, Sea Trail golf course, North Carolina RWD.jpg|thumb|Among twenty snowy mountains, <br> The only moving thing <br> Was the eye of the [[blackbird]].]] <!--[[File:Library Walk 22.JPG|thumb|I do not know which to prefer, <br> The beauty of inflections <br> Or the beauty of innuendoes, <br> The blackbird whistling <br> Or just after.]]--> * Among twenty snowy mountains, <br> The only moving thing <br> Was the eye of the blackbird. ** "[[w:Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird|Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird]]", I <!-- [http://boppin.com/poets/stevens.htm Full text online] // Sam Swope, [http://www.samswope.org/work2.htm "The Blackbird Is Flying, The Children Must Be Writing"] (an essay on the use of this poem as a teaching tool) --> * A man and a woman <br> Are [[Unity|one]]. <br> A man and a woman and a blackbird <br> Are one. ** "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird", IV * I do not know which to prefer, <br> The beauty of inflections <br> Or the beauty of innuendoes, <br> The blackbird whistling <br> Or just after. ** "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird", V * O thin men of Haddam, <br> Why do you imagine golden birds? <br> Do you not see how the blackbird <br> Walks around the feet <br> Of the women about you? ** "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird", VII * I know noble accents <br> And lucid, inescapable rhythms; <br> But I know, too, <br> That the blackbird is involved <br> In what I know. ** "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird", VIII * It was evening all afternoon. <br> It was snowing <br> And it was going to snow. <br> The blackbird sat <br> In the cedar-limbs. ** "Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird", XIII * My candle burned alone in an immense valley. <br> Beams of the huge night converged upon it, <br> Until the wind blew. <br> Then beams of the huge night <br> Converged upon its image, <br> Until the wind blew. ** "Valley Candle" === ''Ideas of Order'' (1936) === * '''She sang beyond the genius of the sea.'''<br>The water never formed to mind or voice,<br>Like a body wholly body, fluttering<br>Its empty sleeves; and yet its mimic motion<br>Made constant cry, caused constantly a cry,<br>That was not ours although we understood,<br>Inhuman, of the veritable ocean. ** "[[w:The Idea of Order at Key West|The Idea of Order at Key West]]", st. 1 * Oh! Blessed rage for order, pale Ramon,<br>The maker’s rage to order words of the sea,<br>Words of the fragrant portals, dimly-starred,<br>And of ourselves and of our origins,<br>In ghostlier demarcations, keener sounds. ** "The Idea of Order at Key West", st. 7 * The sun, that brave man, <br> Comes through boughs that lie in wait, <br> That brave man.{{pb}}Green and gloomy eyes <br> In dark forms of the grass <br> Run away.{{pb}}The good stars, <br> Pale helms and spiky spurs, <br> Run away.{{pb}}Fears of my bed, <br> Fears of life and fears of death, <br> Run away.{{pb}}That brave man comes up <br> From below and walks without meditation, <br> That brave man. ** "The Brave Man" === ''The Man With the Blue Guitar'' (1937) === [[File:Bill Lewis. Guitar, Woman, Snake.jpg|thumb|But play, you must, <br> A tune beyond us, yet ourselves, <br> A tune upon the blue guitar <br> Of things exactly as they are.]] [[File:Anatomia del corpo humano.jpg|thumb|Things as they are have been destroyed. <br> Have I? Am I a man that is dead <br> At a table on which the food is cold?]] * The man bent over his guitar, <br> A shearsman of sorts. The day was green. {{pb}} '''They said, "You have a blue guitar, <br> You do not play things as they are." {{pb}} The man replied, "Things as they are <br> Are changed upon the blue guitar."''' {{pb}} And they said then, "But play, you must, <br> A tune beyond us, yet ourselves, {{pb}} A tune upon the blue guitar <br> Of things exactly as they are." ** I * If to serenade almost to man <br> Is to miss, by that, things as they are, <br> Say that it is the serenade <br> Of a man that plays a blue guitar. ** II * So that's life, then: things are they are? <br> It picks its way on the blue guitar. <br> A million people on one string? <br> And all their manner in the thing, <br> And all their manner, right and wrong, <br> And all their manner, weak and strong? <br> '''And that's life, then: things as they are, <br> This buzzing of the blue guitar.''' ** IV * Do not speak to us of the greatness of poetry, <br> Of the torches wisping in the underground, <br> Of the structure of vaults upon a point of light. <br> There are no shadows in our sun, <br> Day is desire and night is sleep. <br> There are no shadows anywhere. <br> The earth, for us, is flat and bare. <br> There are no shadows. ** V * The thinking of [[art]] seems final when <br> The thinking of [[god]] is smoky dew. ** VI * It is the sun that shares our works. <br> The moon shares nothing. It is a sea. <br> When shall I come to say of the sun, <br> It is a sea; it shares nothing; <br> The sun no longer shares our works <br> And the [[earth]] is alive with creeping men, <br> Mechanical beetles never quite warm? <br> And shall I then stand in the sun, as now <br> I stand in the moon, and call it good, <br> The immaculate, the merciful good, <br> Detached from us, from things as they are? <br> Not to be part of the sun? To stand <br> Remote and call it merciful? <br> The strings are cold on the blue guitar. ** VII * Struggling toward impassioned choirs, <br> Crying among the [[clouds]], enraged <br> By gold antagonists in air — <br> I know my lazy, leaden twang <br> Is like the reason in a [[storm]]; <br> And yet it brings the storm to bear. <br> I twang it out and leave it there. ** VIII * And the color, the overcast blue <br> Of the air, in which the blue guitar <br> Is a form, described but difficult, <br> And I am merely a shadow hunched <br> Above the arrowy, still string, <br> The maker of a thing yet to be made; <br> The color like a thought that grows <br> Out of a mood, the tragic robe <br> Of the actor, half his gesture, half <br> His speech, the dress of his meaning, silk <br> Sodden with his melancholy words, <br> The weather of his stage, himself. ** IX * Behold <br> The approach of him whom none believes, <br> Whom all believe that all believe, <br> A pagan in a varnished car. ** X * Slowly the ivy on the stones <br> Becomes the stones. Women become <br> The cities, children become the fields <br> And men in waves become the sea. ** XI * The sea returns upon the men, <br> The fields entrap the children, brick <br> Is a weed and all the flies are caught, <br> Wingless and withered, but living alive. <br> The discord merely magnified. <br> Deeper within the belly's dark <br> Of [[time]], time grows upon the rock. ** XI * The blue guitar <br> And I are one. ** XII * I know that timid breathing. Where <br> Do I begin and end? And where, <br> As I strum the thing, do I pick up <br> That which momentously declares <br> Itself not to be I and yet <br> Must be. It could be nothing else. ** XII * Be content — <br> Expansions, diffusions — content to be <br> The unspotted imbecile revery, <br> The heraldic center of the world <br> Of blue, blue sleek with a hundred chins, <br> The amorist Adjective aflame. ** XIII * First one beam, then another, then <br> A thousand are radiant in the sky. <br> Each is both star and orb; and day <br> Is the riches of their atmosphere. ** XIV * A candle is enough to light the world. <br> It makes it clear. Even at noon <br> It glistens in essential dark. <br> At night, it lights the fruit and wine, <br> The book and bread, things as they are. ** XIV * Things as they are have been destroyed. <br> Have I? Am I a man that is dead <br> At a table on which the food is cold? <br> Is my thought a memory, not alive? <br> Is the spot on the floor, there, wine or blood <br> And whichever it may be, is it mine? ** XV * Place honey on the altars and die, <br> You lovers that are bitter at heart. ** XVI * That I may reduce the monster to <br> Myself, and then may be myself <br> In face of the monster, be more than part <br> Of it, more than the monstrous player of <br> One of its monstrous lutes, not be <br> Alone, but reduce the monster and be, <br> Two things, the two together as one, <br> And play of the monster and of myself, <br> Or better not of myself at all, <br> But of that as its intelligence, <br> Being the lion in the lute <br> Before the lion locked in stone. ** XIX * What is there in life except one's ideas. <br> Good air, good friend, what is there in life? <br> Is it ideas that I believe? ** XX * A substitute for all the gods: <br> This self, not that gold self aloft, <br> Alone, one's shadow magnified, <br> Lord of the body, looking down, <br> As now and called most high, <br> The shadow of Chocorua <br> In an immenser heaven, aloft, <br> Alone, lord of the land and lord <br> Of the men that live in the land, high lord. <br> One's self and the mountains of one's land, <br> Without shadows, without magnificence, <br> The flesh, the bone, the dirt, the stone. ** XXI * '''Poetry is the subject of the poem''', <br> From this the poem issues and <br> To this returns. Between the two, <br> Between issue and return, there is <br> An absence in reality, <br> Things as they are. Or so we say. <br> But are these separate? ** XXII * I play. But this is what I think. ** XXIV * The swarm of thoughts, the swarm of dreams <br> Of inaccessible Utopia. <br> A mountainous music always seemed <br> To be falling and to be passing away. ** XXVI * It is the sea that whitens the roof. <br> The sea drifts through the winter air. <br> It is the sea that the north wind makes. <br> The sea is in the falling snow. <br> This gloom is the darkness of the sea. ** XXVII * I am a native in this world <br> And think in it as a native thinks. ** XXVIII * The wind in which the dead leaves blow. <br> Here I inhale profounder strength <br> And as I am, I speak and move <br> And things are as I think they are <br> And say they are on the blue guitar. ** XXVIII * What is beyond the cathedral, outside, <br> Balances with nuptial song. <br> So it is to sit and to balance things <br> To and to and to the point of still, <br> To say of one mask it is like, <br> To say of another it is like, <br> To know that the balance does not quite rest, <br> That the mask is strange, however like. ** XXIX * Throw away the lights, the definitions, <br> And say of what you see in the dark <br> That it is this or that it is that, <br> But do not use the rotted names. <br> How should you walk in that space and know <br> Nothing of the madness of space, <br> Nothing of its jocular procreations? <br> Throw the lights away. Nothing must stand <br> Between you and the shapes you take <br> When the crust of shape has been destroyed. ** XXXII * Here is the bread of time to come, <br> Here is its actual stone. The bread <br> Will be our bread, the stone will be <br> Our bed and we shall sleep by night. <br> We shall forget by day, except <br> The [[moments]] when we choose to play <br> The imagined pine, the imagined jay. ** XXXIII === ''Notes Toward a Supreme Fiction'' (1942) === ==== It Must Be Abstract ==== [[File:Nieslysz SunSet.JPG|thumb|Perhaps <br> The truth depends on a walk around a lake.]] <!--[[File:Apolocitaredo8.jpg|thumb|There was a myth before the myth began, <br> Venerable and articulate and complete.]]--> <!--[[File:500px photo (110152959).jpeg|thumb|We are the mimics. Clouds are pedagogues.]]--> * Begin, ephebe, by perceiving the idea <br> Of this invention, this invented world, <br> The inconceivable idea of the sun.{{pb}}'''You must become an ignorant man again <br> And see the sun again with an ignorant eye <br> And see it clearly in the idea of it.'''{{pb}}Never suppose an inventing mind as source <br> Of this idea nor for that mind compose <br> A voluminous master folded in his fire. ** I * The death of one god is the death of all. ** I * Phoebus is dead, ephebe. But Phoebus was <br> A name for something that never could be named. <br> There was a project for the sun and is.{{pb}}There is a project for the sun. The sun <br> Must bear no name, gold flourisher, but be <br> In the difficulty of what it is to be. ** I * So poisonous{{pb}}Are the ravishments of truth, so fatal to <br> The truth itself, the first idea becomes <br> The hermit in a poet’s metaphors,{{pb}}Who comes and goes and comes and goes all day. ** II * The monastic man is an artist.The philosopher <br> Appoints man’s place in music, say, today. <br> But the priest desires. The philosopher desires.{{pb}}And not to have is the beginning of desire. <br> To have what is not is its ancient cycle. ** II * It is the celestial ennui of apartments<br>That sends us back to the first idea. ** II * The poem refreshes life so that we share, <br> For a moment, the first idea... It satisfies <br> Belief in an immaculate beginning{{pb}}And sends us, winged by an unconscious will, <br> To an immaculate end. ** III * The poem, through candor, brings back a power again <br> That gives a candid kind to everything. ** III * Life’s nonsense pierces us with strange relation. ** III * And still the grossest iridescence of ocean<br>Howls hoo and rises and howls hoo and falls. ** III * The first idea was not our own. Adam <br> In Eden was the father of Descartes <br> And eve made air the mirror of herself,{{pb}}Of her sons and of her daughters. ** IV * The clouds preceded us.{{pb}}There was a muddy centre before we breathed. <br> There was a myth before the myth began, <br> Venerable and articulate and complete.{{pb}}From this the poem springs: that we live in a place <br> That is not our own and, much more, not ourselves <br> And hard it is in spite of blazoned days. ** IV * We are the mimics. Clouds are pedagogues. ** IV * Abysmal instruments make sounds like pips <br> Of the sweeping meanings that we add to them. ** IV * Yet voluble of dumb violence. You look <br> Across the roofs as sigil and as ward <br> And in your centre mark them and are cowed. ** V * Not to be realized because not to <br> Be seen, not to be loved nor hated because <br> Not to be realized. ** VI * Without a name and nothing to be desired, <br> If only imagined but imagined well. ** VI * My house has changed a little in the sun. <br> The fragrance of the magnolias come close, <br> False flick, false form, but falseness close to kin. ** VI * It must be visible or invisible, <br> Invisible or visible or both: <br> A seeing and unseeing in the eye.{{pb}}The weather and the giant of the weather, <br> Say the weather, the mere weather, the mere air: <br> An abstraction blooded, as a man by thought. ** VI * Perhaps <br> The truth depends on a walk around a lake,{{pb}}A composing as the body tires, a stop <br> To see hepatica, a stop to watch <br> A definition growing certain and{{pb}}A wait within that certainty, a rest <br> In the swags of pine-trees bordering the lake. <br> Perhaps there are times of inherent excellence. ** VII * As a man and woman meet and love forthwith. <br> Perhaps there are moments of awakening, <br> Extreme, fortuitous, personal, in which{{pb}}We more than awaken, sit on the edge of sleep, <br> As on an elevation, and behold <br> The academies like structures in a mist. ** VII * The first idea is an imagined thing. ** VIII * Logos and logic, crystal hypothesis, <br> Incipit and a form to speak the word <br> And every latent double in the word, {{pb}} Beau linguist. ** VIII * He might take habit, whether from wave or phrase,{{pb}}Or power of the wave, or deepened speech, <br> Or a leaner being, moving in on him, <br> Of greater aptitude and apprehension,{{pb}}As if the waves at last were never broken, <br> As if the language suddenly, with ease, <br> Said things it had laboriously spoken. ** VIII * The romantic intoning, the declaimed clairvoyance <br> Are parts of apotheosis, appropriate <br> And of its nature, the idiom thereof. ** IX * Apotheosis is not <br> The origin of the major man. He comes,{{pb}}Compact in invincible foils, from reason, <br> Lighted at midnight by the studious eye, <br> Swaddled in revery, the object of{{pb}}The hum of thoughts evaded in the mind. ** IX * My dame, sing for this person accurate songs. ** IX * He is and may be but oh! He is, he is, <br> This foundling of the infected past, so bright, <br> So moving in the manner of his hand.{{pb}}Yet look not at his colored eyes. Give him <br> No names. Dismiss him from your images. <br> The hot of him is purest in the heart. ** IX * The major abstraction is the idea of man <br> And major man is its exponent, abler <br> In the abstract than in his singular,{{pb}}More fecund as principle than particle. ** X * In being more than an exception, part,{{pb}}Though an heroic part, of the commonal. <br> The major abstraction is the commonal, <br> The inanimate, difficult visage. ** X * What chieftain, walking by himself, crying <br> Most miserable, most victorious, {{pb}} Does not see these separate figures one by one, <br> And yet see only one, in his old coat, <br> His slouching pantaloons, beyond the town,{{pb}}Looking for what was, where it used to be? ** X * It is of him, ephebe, to make, to confect <br> The final elegance, not to console <br> Nor sanctify, but plainly to propound. ** X ==== It Must Change ==== [[File:Серафим.jpg|thumb|The seraph <br> Is satyr in Saturn, according to his thoughts.]] * The old seraph, parcel-gilded, among violets <br> Inhaled the appointed odor, while the doves <br> Rose up like phantoms from chronologies. ** I * The bees came booming as if they had never gone, <br> As if hyacinths had never gone. We say <br> This changes and that changes. Thus the constant{{pb}} Violets, doves, girls, bees and hyacinths <br> Are inconstant objects of inconstant cause <br> In a universe of inconstancy. This means{{pb}}Night-blue is an inconstant thing. The seraph <br> Is satyr in Saturn, according to his thoughts. ** I * The President ordains the bee to be <br> Immortal. ** II * The President has apples on the table <br> And barefoot servants round him, who adjust <br> The curtains to a metaphysical "t". ** II * Should there be a question of returning or <br> Of death in memory’s dream? Is spring a sleep?{{pb}}This warmth is for lovers at last accomplishing <br> Their love, this beginning, not resuming, this <br> '''Booming and booming of the new-come bee.''' ** II * The right, uplifted foreleg of the horse <br> Suggested that, at the final funeral, <br> The music halted and the horse stood still. ** III * Nothing had happened because nothing had changed. <br> Yet the General was rubbish in the end. ** III * Two things of opposite natures seem to depend <br> On one another, as a man depends <br> On a woman, day on night, the imagined{{pb}}On the real. This is the origin of change. <br> Winter and spring, cold copulars, embrace <br> And forth the particulars of rapture come. ** IV * Music falls on the silence like a sense, <br> A passion that we feel, not understand. ** IV * In solitude the trumpets of solitude <br> Are not of another solitude resounding; <br> A little string speaks for a crowd of voices. ** IV * The partaker partakes of that which changes him. <br> The child that touches takes character from the thing, <br> The body, it touches. The captain and his men{{pb}}Are one and the sailor and the sea are one. ** IV * On a blue island in a sky-wide water <br> The wild orange trees continued to bloom and to bear, <br> Long after the planter’s death. ** V * An unaffected man in a negative light <br> Could not have borne his labor nor have died <br> Sighing that he should leave the banjo’s twang. ** V [[File:Rain (3735431928).jpg|thumb|There was such idiot minstrelsy in rain, <br> So many clappers going without bells.]] * Bethou me, said sparrow, to the crackled blade, <br> And you, and you, bethou me as you blow, <br> When in my coppice you behold me be. ** VI * There was such idiot minstrelsy in rain, <br> So many clappers going without bells, <br> That these bethous compose a heavenly gong. {{pb}} One voice repeating, one tireless chorister, <br> The phrases of a single phrase, ke-ke, <br> A single text, granite monotony ** VI * Eye without lid, mind without any dream —{{pb}}These are of minstrels lacking minstrelsy, <br> Of an earth in which the first leaf is the tale <br> Of leaves, in which the sparrow is a bird{{pb}}Of stone, that never changes. Bethou him, you <br> And you, bethou him and bethou. It is <br> A sound like any other. It will end. ** VI * Tonight the lilacs magnify <br> The easy passion, the ever-ready love <br> Of the lover that lies within us and we breathe{{pb}}An odor evoking nothing, absolute.''' <br> We encounter in the dead middle of the night <br> The purple odor, the abundant bloom. ** VII * The fluctuations of certainty, the change <br> Of degrees of perception in the scholar’s dark. ** VII * I am the spouse. She took her necklace off <br> And laid it in the sand. As I am, I am <br> The spouse. She opened her stone-studded belt. {{pb}} I am the spouse, divested of bright gold, <br> The spouse beyond emerald or amethyst, <br> Beyond the burning body that I bear. {{pb}} I am the woman stripped more nakedly <br> Than nakedness, standing before an inflexible <br> Order, saying I am the contemplated spouse. ** VIII * Clothe me entire in the final filament, <br> So that I tremble with such love so known <br> And myself am precious for your perfecting. ** VIII * A fictive covering <br> Weaves always glistening from the heart and mind. ** VIII * The poem goes form the poet’s gibberish to <br> The gibberish of the vulgate and back again. ** IX * Is there a poem that never reaches words {{pb}} And one that chaffers the time away? <br> Is the poem both peculiar and general? <br> There’s a meditation there, in which there seems{{pb}}To be an evasion, a thing not apprehended or <br> Not apprehended well. Does the poet <br> Evade us, as in a senseless element? ** IX * He tries by a peculiar speech to speak {{pb}} The peculiar potency of the general. ** IX * Like a page of music, like an upper air, <br> Like a momentary color, in which swans <br> Were seraphs, were saints, were changing essences. {{pb}} The west wind was the music, the motion, the force <br> To which the swans curveted, a will to change, <br> A will to make iris frettings on the blank. ** IX * The casual is not Enough. The freshness of transformation is{{pb}}The freshness of a world.''' It is our own, <br> It is ourselves, the freshness of ourselves, <br> And that necessity and that presentation{{pb}}Are rubbings of a glass in which we peer. * Of these beginnings, gay and green, propose <br> The suitable amours. Time will write them down. ==== It Must Give Pleasure ==== [[File:CandleWPC.jpg|thumb|Fat girl, terrestrial, my summer, my night, <br> How is it I find you in difference, see you there <br> In a moving contour, a change not quite completed?{{pb}}You are familiar yet an aberration.]] <!--[[File:GustaveMoreau04.jpg|thumb|There is a month, a year, there is a time <br> In which majesty is a mirror of the self.]]--> * To speak of joy and to sing of it, borne on <br> The shoulders of joyous men, to feel the heart <br> That is the common, the bravest fundament, {{pb}} This is a facile exercise. ** I * The difficultest rigor is forthwith, <br> On the image of what we see, to catch from that <br> Irrational moment its unreasoning, <br> As when the sun comes rising, when the sea <br> Clears deeply, when the moon hangs on the wall{{pb}} Of heaven-haven. These are not things transformed. <br> Yet we are shaken by them as if they were. <br> We reason about them with a later reason. ** I * The blue woman, linked and lacquered, at her window <br> Did not desire that feathery argentines <br> Should be cold silver, neither that frothy clouds{{pb}} Should foam, be foamy waves, should move like them ** II * It was enough for her that she remembered. ** II * Red-in-red repetitions never going <br> Away,a little rusty, a little rouged, <br> A little roughened and ruder, a crown{{pb}}The eye could not escape, a red renown <br> Blowing itself upon the tedious ear. ** III * A dead shepherd brought tremendous chords from hell{{pb}}And bad the sheep carouse. Or so they said. <br> Children in love with them brought early flowers <br> And scattered them about, no two alike. ** III * We reason of these things with later reason <br> And we make of what we see, what we see clearly <br> And have seen, a place dependent on ourselves. ** IV * This was their ceremonial hymn: Anon <br> We loved but would no marriage make. Anon <br> The one refused the other one to take,{{pb}}Foreswore the sipping of the marriage wine. ** IV * Each must the other take as sign, short sign <br> To stop the whirlwind, balk the elements. ** IV * They married well because the marriage-place <br> Was what they loved. It was neither heaven nor hell. <br> They were love’s characters come face to face. ** IV * The words they spoke were voices that she heard. <br> She looked at them and saw them as they were <br> And what she felt fought off the barest phrase. ** V * The nothingness was a nakedness, a point,{{pb}}Beyond which fact could not progress as fact. <br> Thereon the learning of the man conceived <br> Once more night’s pale illuminations, gold{{pb}}Beneath, far underneath, the surface of <br> His eye and audible in the mountain of <br> His ear, the very material of his mind. ** VI * Straight to the utmost crown of night he flew. <br> The nothingness was a nakedness, a point{{pb}}Beyond which thought could not progress as thought. <br> He had to choose. But it was not a choice <br> Between excluding things. It was not a choice{{pb}}Between, but of. '''He chose to include the things <br> That in each other are included, the whole, <br> The complicate, the amassing harmony.''' ** VI * He imposes orders as he thinks of them, <br> As the fox and snake do. It is a brave affair. ** VII * But to impose is not <br> To discover. To discover an order as of <br> A season, to discover summer and know it,{{pb}}To discover winter and know it well, to find <br> Not to impose, not to have reasoned at all, <br> Out of nothing to have come on major weather,{{pb}}It is possible, possible, possible. It must <br> Be possible. It must be that in time <br> The real will from its crude compoundings come,{{pb}}Seeming at first, a beast disgorged, unlike, <br> Warmed by a desperate milk. To find the real, <br> To be stripped of every fiction except one,{{pb}}The fiction of an absolute — Angel, <br> Be silent in your luminous cloud and hear <br> The luminous melody of proper sound. ** VII * What am I to believe? If the angel in his cloud, <br> Serenely gazing at the violent abyss, <br> Plucks on his strings to pluck abysmal glory, {{pb}} Leaps downward through evening’s revelations, and <br> On his spredden wings, needs nothing but deep space, <br> Forgets the gold centre, the golden destiny,{{pb}} Grows warm in the motionless motion of his flight, <br> '''Am I that imagine this angel less-satisfied? <br> Are the wings his, the lapis-haunted air?''' ** VIII * Is it he or is it I that experience this? ** VIII * There is a month, a year, there is a time <br> In which majesty is a mirror of the self: <br> I have not but I am and as I am, I am. ** VIII * These external regions, what do we fill them with <br> Except reflections, the escapades of death,<br>Cinderella fulfilling herself beneath the roof. ** VIII * '''I can <br> Do all that angels can.''' I enjoy like them, <br> Like men besides, like men in light secluded, {{pb}} Enjoying angels. ** IX * A thing final in itself and, therefore, good: <br> One of the vast repetitions final in <br> Themselves and, therefore, good, the going round {{pb}} And round and round, the merely going round, <br> Until merely going round is a final good, <br> The way wine comes at a table in a wood. ** IX * &nbsp;&nbsp; Perhaps, <br> The man-hero is not the exceptional monster, <br> But he that of repetition is most master. ** IX * Fat girl, terrestrial, my summer, my night, <br> How is it I find you in difference, see you there <br> In a moving contour, a change not quite completed?{{pb}}You are familiar yet an aberration. ** X * You remain the more than natural figure. You <br> Become the soft-footed phantom, the irrational{{pb}}Distortion, however fragrant, however dear. <br> That’s it: the more than rational distortion, <br> The fiction that results from feeling. Yes, that. ** X * '''They will get it straight one day at the Sorbonne.''' <br> We shall return at twilight from the lecture <br> Pleased that the irrational is rational,{{pb}}Until flicked by feeling, in a gildered street, <br> I call you by name, my green, my fluent mundo. ** X ;Unsorted * Soldier, there is a war between the mind <br> And sky, between thought and day and night. It is <br> For that the poet is always in the sun, {{pb}} Patches the moon together in his room <br> To his Virgilian cadences, up down, <br> Up down. It is a war that never ends. * Yet it depends on yours. The two are one. <br> They are a plural, a right and left, a pair, <br> Two parallels that meet if only in * The meeting of their shadows or that meet <br> In a book in a barrack, a letter from Malay. <br> But your war ends. And after it you return * With six meats and twelve wines or else without <br> To walk another room...Monsieur and comrade, <br> The soldier is poor without the poet’s lines. * His petty syllabi, the sounds that stick, <br> Inevitably modulating, in the blood. <br> And war for war, each has its gallant kind. {{pb}} How simply the fictive hero becomes the real; <br> How gladly with proper words the solider dies, <br> If he must, or lives on the bread of faithful speech. === ''Parts of a World'' (1942) === :<small>'''New York: Alfred A. Knopf'''</small> * Home from Guatemala, back at the Waldorf. <br> This arrival in the wild country of the soul, <br> All approaches gone, being completely there, <br> Where the wild poem is a substitute <br> For the woman one loves or ought to love, <br> One wild rhapsody a fake for another.{{pb}}You touch the hotel the way you touch moonlight <br> Or sunlight and you hum and the orchestra <br> Hums and you say "The world in a verse,{{pb}}A generation sealed, men remoter than mountains, <br> Women invisible in music and motion and color," <br> After that alien, point-blank, green and actual Guatemala. ** "Arrival at the Waldorf" * The prologues are over. It is a question, now,<br>Of final belief. So, say that final belief<br>Must be in a fiction. It is time to choose. ** "Asides on the Oboe", st. 1 * A. A violent order is disorder; and <br> B. A great disorder is an order. These <br> Two things are one. ** "Connoisseur of Chaos", st. 1 * And, capable, created in his mind,<br>Eventual victor, out of the martyrs’ bones<br>The ultimate elegance: the imagined land. ** "Mrs. Alfred Uruguay", st. 4 * That's what misery is, <br> Nothing to have at heart. <br> It is to have or nothing.{{pb}}It is a thing to have, <br> A lion, an ox in his breast, <br> To feel it breathing there.{{pb}}Corazon, stout dog, <br> Young ox, bow-legged bear, <br> He tastes its blood, not spit.{{pb}}He is like a man <br> In the body of a violent beast. <br> Its muscles are his own...{{pb}}The lion sleeps in the sun. <br> Its nose is on its paws. <br> It can kill a man. ** "Poetry is a Destructive Force" * &nbsp;&nbsp; Light<br>Is the lion that comes down to drink. ** "The Glass of Water", st. 2 * One’s grand flights, one’s Sunday baths,<br>One’s tootings at the weddings of the soul<br>Occur as they occur. ** "The Sense of the Sleight-of-Hand Man", st. 1 * After the final no there comes a yes <br> And on that yes the future world depends. <br> No was the night. Yes is this present sun. ** "The Well Dressed Man with a Beard" * One thing remaining, infallible, would be <br> Enough. ** "The Well Dressed Man with a Beard" * Out of a thing believed, a thing affirmed: <br> The form on the pillow humming while one sleeps, <br> The aureole above the humming house... <br> '''It can never be satisfied, the mind, never. ** "The Well Dressed Man with a Beard" === ''The Language of Poetry'' (1942) === :<small>'''Princeton, NJ: Princeton UP'''</small> * The subject-matter of poetry is not that "collection of solid, static objects extended in space" but the life that is lived in the scene that it composes; and so reality is not that external scene but the life that is lived in it. Reality is things as they are. ** "The Noble Rider and the Sound of Words", IV * What makes the poet the potent figure that he is, or was, or ought to be, is that he creates the world to which we turn incessantly and without knowing it and that he gives to life the supreme fictions without which we are unable to conceive of it. ** "The Noble Rider and the Sound of Words", V <!-- p. 121 --> * His function is to make his imagination theirs and that he fulfils himself only as he sees his imagination become the light in the minds of others. His role, in short, is to help people to live their lives. ** "The Noble Rider and the Sound of Words", V === ''Transport to Summer'' (1947) === :<small>'''New York: Alfred A. Knopf'''</small> [[File:Wallace Stevens House - Hartford, CT.jpg|thumb|So many selves, so many sensuous worlds, <br> As if the air, the mid-day air, was swarming <br> With the metaphysical changes that occur, <br> Merely in living as and where we live.]] * Thus the theory of description matters most.<br>It is the theory of the word for those{{pb}}For whom the word is the making of the world,<br>The buzzing world and lisping firmament.{{pb}}It is a world of words to the end of it,<br>In which nothing solid is its solid self. ** "Description Without Place", VII * It was the last nostalgia: that he<br>Should understand. ** "Esthétique du Mal", X * The greatest poverty is not to live<br>In a physical world, to feel that one’s desire<br>Is too difficult to tell from despair. ** "Esthétique du Mal", XV * One might have thought of sight, but who could think <br> Of what it sees, for all the ill it sees? <br> Speech found the ear, for all the evil sound, <br> But the dark italics it could not propound. <br> And out of what sees and hears and out <br> Of what one feels, who could have thought to make <br> So many selves, so many sensuous worlds, <br> As if the air, the mid-day air, was swarming <br> With the metaphysical changes that occur, <br> Merely in living as and where we live. ** "Esthétique du Mal", XV * Life consists <br> Of propositions about life. The human <br> Revery is a solitude in which <br> We compose these propositions, torn by dreams, {{pb}} By the terrible incantations of defeats <br> And by the fear that the defeats and the dreams are one. {{pb}} '''The whole race is a poet that writes down <br> The eccentric propositions of its fate.''' ** "Men Made Out of Words" * If there must be a god in the house, must be, <br> Saying things in the room and on the stair,{{pb}}Let him move as the sunlight moves on the floor, <br> Or moonlight, '''silently, as Plato's ghost{{pb}}Or Aristotle's skeleton.''' Let him hang out <br> His stars on the wall. He must dwell quietly.{{pb}}He must be incapable of speaking, closed, <br> As those are: as light, for all its motion, is;{{pb}}As color, even the closest to us, is; <br> As shapes, though they portend us, are.{{pb}}It is the human that is the alien, <br> The human that has no cousin in the moon.{{pb}}It is the human that demands his speech <br> From beasts or from the incommunicable mass.{{pb}}If there must be a god in the house, let him be one <br> That will not hear us when we speak: a coolness{{pb}}A vermillioned nothingness, any stick of the mass <br> Of which we are too distantly a part. ** "Less and Less Human, O Savage Spirit" * &nbsp;&nbsp; To get at the thing<br>Without gestures is to get at it as<br>Idea. ** "So-and-So Reclining on Her Couch", st. 6 * The house was quiet and the world was calm. <br> The reader became the book; and summer night <br> Was like the conscious being of the book. <br> The house was quiet and the world was calm. <br> The words were spoken as if there was no book, <br> Except that the reader leaned above the page, <br> Wanted to lean, wanted much most to be <br> The scholar to whom the book is true, to whom <br> The summer night is like a perfection of thought. <br> The house was quiet because it had to be. <br> The quiet was part of the meaning, part of the mind: <br> The access of perfection to the page. <br> And the world was calm. The truth in a calm world, <br> In which there is no other meaning, itself <br> Is calm, itself is summer and night, itself <br> Is the reader leaning late and reading there. ** "The House Was Quiet and the World Was Calm" === ''The Auroras of Autumn'' (1950) === :<small>'''New York: Alfred A. Knopf'''</small> * I am the angel of reality, <br> Seen for a moment standing in the door. ** "Angel Surrounded by Paysans" (1949) * I am one of you and being one of you <br> Is being and knowing what I am and know. <br> Yet I am the necessary angel of earth, <br> Since, in my sight, you see the earth again, <br> Cleared of its stiff and stubborn, man-locked set <br> And, in my hearing, you hear its tragic drone <br> Rise liquidly in liquid lingerings, <br> Like watery words awash; like meanings said <br> By repetitions of half-meanings. Am I not, <br> Myself, only half a figure of a sort, <br> A figure half seen, or seen for a moment, a man <br> Of the mind, an apparition appareled in <br> Apparels of such lightest look that a turn <br> Of my shoulders and quickly, too quickly, I am gone? ** "Angel Surrounded by Paysans" * We keep coming back and coming back<br>To the real: to the hotel instead of the hymns<br>That fall upon it out of the wind. ** "An Ordinary Evening in New Haven", IX * &nbsp;&nbsp; A more severe,<br>More harassing master would extemporize<br>Subtler, more urgent proof that the theory<br>Of poetry is the theory of life,<br>As it is, in the intricate evasions of as,<br>In things seen and unseen, created from nothingness,<br>The heavens, the hells, the worlds, the longed-for lands. ** "An Ordinary Evening in New Haven", XXVIII * It is not in the premise that reality <br> Is a solid. It may be a shade that traverses <br> A dust, a force that traverses a shade. ** "An Ordinary Evening in New Haven" * Reality is the [[beginning]] not the end, <br> Naked Alpha, not the hierophant Omega, <br> Of dense investiture, with luminous vassals. ** "An Ordinary Evening in New Haven" * And one trembles to be so understood and, at last,<br>To understand, as if to know became<br>The fatality of seeing things too well. ** "The Novel", st. 16 === ''The Necessary Angel'' (1951) === :<small>''The Necessary Angel: Essays on Reality and the Imagination'' {{ISBN|0-394-70278-6}} </small> * There is always an analogy between [[nature]] and the [[imagination]], and possibly poetry is merely the strange rhetoric of that parallel. ** "Effects of Analogy" * The [[imagination]] loses vitality as it ceases to adhere to what is real. When it adheres to the unreal and intensifies what is unreal, while its first effect may be extraordinary, that effect is the maximum effect that it will ever have. ** "Imagination as Value" * The best definition of true imagination is that it is the sum of our faculties. Poetry is the scholar's art. The acute intelligence of the imagination, the illimitable resources of its memory, its power to possess the moment it perceives — if we were speaking of light itself, and thinking of the relationship between objects and light, no further demonstration would be necessary ... What light requires a day to do, and by day I mean a kind of Biblical revolution of time, the imagination does in the twinkling of an eye. It colors, increases, brings to a beginning and end, invents languages, crushes men, and, for that matter, gods in its hands, it says to women more than it is possible to say, it rescues all of us from what we have called absolute fact. ** "Imagination as Value" * For the poet, the imagination is paramount, and ... he dwells apart in his imagination, as the philosopher dwells in his reason, and as the priest dwells in his belief … The imagination is the power of the mind over the possibilities of things." ** "Imagination as Value" * The operation of the imagination in life is more significant than its operation in or in relation to works of art... in life what is important is the truth as it is, while in arts and letters what is important is truth as we see it. ** "Imagination as Value" * What the poet has in mind ... is that poetic value is an intrinsic value. It is not the value of knowledge. It is not the value of faith. It is the value of imagination. The poet tries to exemplify it, in part as I have tried to exemplify it here, by identifying it with an imaginative activity that diffuses itself throughout our lives. ** "Imagination as Value" * The imagination is the power that enables us to perceive the normal in the abnormal, the opposite of chaos in chaos. ** "Imagination as Value" * The truth seems to be that we live in concepts of the imagination before the reason has established them. If this is true, then reason is simply the methodizer of the imagination. ** "Imagination as Value" * The world about us would be desolate except for the world within us. ** "Imagination as Value" * The paramount relation between poetry and painting today, between modern man and modern art, is simply this: that in an age in which disbelief is so profoundly prevalent or, if not disbelief, indifference to questions of belief, poetry and painting, and the arts in general, are, in their measure, a compensation for what has been lost. Men feel that the imagination is the next greatest power to faith: the reigning prince. ** "Imagination as Value" * Our own time, and by this I mean the last two or three generations, including our own, can be summed up in a way that brings into unity an immense number of details by saying of it that it is a time in which the search for the supreme truth has been a search in reality or through reality or even a search for some supremely acceptable fiction. ** "Imagination as Value" * The humble are they that move about the world with the lure of the real in their hearts. ** "About One of Marianne Moore’s Poems" * It may be dismissed, on the one hand, as a commonplace aesthetic satisfaction: and, on the other hand, if we say that the idea of God is merely a poetic idea, even if the supreme poetic idea, and that our notions of heaven and hell are merely poetry not so called, even if poetry that involves us vitally, the feeling of deliverance, of a release, of a perfection touched, of a vocation so that all men may know the truth and that the truth may set them free — if we say these things and if we are able to see the poet who achieved God and placed Him in His seat in heaven in all His glory, the poet himself, still in the ecstasy of the poem that completely accomplished its purpose, would have seemed, whether young or old, whether in rags or ceremonial robe, a man who needed what he had created, uttering the hymns of joy that followed his creation. This may be a gross exaggeration of a very simple matter. But perhaps the same is true of many of the more prodigious things of life and death. ** "The Figure of the Youth as Virile Poet" === ''Collected Poems'' (1954) === :<small>'''New York: Alfred A. Knopf'''</small> * One of the limits of reality <br> Presents itself in Oley when the hay, <br> Baked through long days, is piled in mows. It is <br> A land too ripe for enigmas, too serene. <br> * * * <br> Things stop in that direction and since they stop <br> The direction stops and we accept what is <br> As [[good]]. The utmost must be good and is. ** "Credences of Summer" * Let’s see the very thing and nothing else. <br> Let’s see it with the hottest fire of sight. <br> Burn everything not part of it to ash. <br> Trace the gold sun about the whitened sky <br> Without evasion by a single metaphor. <br> Look at it in its essential barrenness <br> And say this, this is the centre that I seek. ** "Credences of Summer" * Exile desire <br> For what is not. This is the barrenness <br> Of the fertile thing that can attain no more. ** "Credences of Summer" * Light the first light of evening, as in a room <br> In which we rest and, for small reason, think <br> The world imagined is the ultimate good. ** "Final Soliloquy of the Interior Paramour", st. 1 * '''We say God and the imagination are one... <br> How high that highest candle lights the dark.''' <br> Out of this same light, out of the central mind, <br> We make a dwelling in the evening air, <br> In which being there together is enough. ** "Final Soliloquy of the Interior Paramour", st. 5 * This is, therefore, the intensest rendezvous. <br> It is in that thought that we collect ourselves, <br> Out of all the indifferences, into one thing ** "Final Soliloquy of the Interior Paramour" * At the earliest ending of winter, <br> In March, a scrawny cry from outside <br> Seemed like a sound in his mind. <br> He knew that he heard it, <br> A bird's cry, at daylight or before, <br> In the early March wind. ** "Not Ideas About the Thing but the Thing Itself", st. 1 * '''That scrawny cry — It was <br> A chorister whose c preceded the choir. <br> It was part of the colossal sun,''' <br> Surrounded by its choral rings, <br> Still far away. It was like <br> A new knowledge of reality. ** "Not Ideas About the Thing but the Thing Itself", st. 5 * There it was, word for word,<br>The poem that took the place of a mountain. ** "The Poem That Took the Place of a Mountain", st. 1 * Total grandeur of a total edifice,<br>Chosen by an inquisitor of structures<br>For himself. He stops upon this threshold<br>As if the design of all his words takes form<br>And frame from thinking and is realized. ** "To an Old Philosopher in Rome", st. 16 === ''Opus Posthumous'' (1957) === :<small>'''New York: Alfred A. Knopf'''</small> [[File:Dr. Ambedkar with Mr. Wallace Stevens at Columbia University, New York (USA), while receiving LL.D. (Doctorate of Laws) for being the 'Chief Architect of the Constitution of India'.jpg|thumb|Let wise men piece the world together with wisdom <br> Or poets with holy magic.]] [[File:Wallace Stevens signature.svg|thumb|Style is not something applied. It is something that permeates.]] * Let wise men piece the world together with wisdom <br> Or poets with holy magic. <br> Hey-di-ho. ** "Hieroglyphica" <!-- date? 1934 --> * After one has abandoned a belief in God, poetry is that essence which takes its place as life’s redemption. ** "Proverbs", from ''Sur Plusieurs Beaux Sujects'' (1932–1937) * To see the gods dispelled in mid-air and dissolve like clouds is one of the great human experiences. It is not as if they had gone over the horizon to disappear for a time; nor as if they had been overcome by other gods of greater power and profounder knowledge. It is simply that they came to nothing. <!-- p. 260 --> ** "Two or Three Ideas" (1951) * '''Style is not something applied. It is something that permeates.''' It is of the nature of that in which it is found, whether the poem, the manner of a god, the bearing of a man. It is not a dress. ** "Two or Three Ideas" * The number of ways of passing between the traditional two fixed points of man’s life, that is to say, of passing from the self to God, is fixed only by the limitations of space, which is limitless. The eternal philosopher is the eternal pilgrim on that road. It is difficult to take him seriously when he relies on the evidence of the teeth, the throat and the bowels. Yet in the one poem that is unimpeachably divine, the poem of the ascent into heaven, it is possible to say that there can be no faults, since it is precisely the faults of life this poem enables us to leave behind. If the idea of God is the ultimate poetic idea, then the idea of the ascent into heaven is only a little below it. ** "A Collect of Philosophy" (1951) <!-- p. 369 http://books.google.com/books?id=qztUqewMpa0C&pg=PT369 --> ==== Adagia ==== * A grandiose subject is not an assurance of a grandiose effect but, most likely, of the opposite. * Sentimentality is a failure of feeling. * A poem should be a part of one's sense of life. * A poet looks at the world as a man looks at a woman. * The poet makes silk dresses out of worms. * All history is modern history. * All poetry is experimental poetry. * Poetry is a purging of the world's poverty and change and evil and death. It is a present perfecting, a satisfaction in the irremediable poverty of life. * The imagination is one of the forces of nature. * To have nothing to say and to say it in a tragic manner is not the same thing as having something to say. * Man is an eternal sophomore. * The poet is a god, or, the young poet is a god. The old poet is a tramp. * To a large extent, the problems of poets are the problems of painters, and poets must often turn to the literature of painting for a discussion of their own problems. * God is in me or else is not at all (does not exist). * The world is a force, not a presence. * Poetry is a search for the inexplicable. * A poem is a meteor. * In the world of words, the imagination is one of the forces of nature. * The poet is the priest of the invisible. == Attributed == * [[Success]] as a result of industry is a peasant ideal. ** In [[Charles Bukowski]], "Ten Jack-Offs", ''The Most Beautiful Woman in Town'' (1983) * I like my [[philosophy]] smothered in [[beauty]] and not the opposite. ** In Bart Eeckhout, ''Wallace Stevens and the Limits of Reading and Writing'' (2002), Ch. 12 "Poeticizing Epistemology", p. 268 * Poetry is an effort of a dissatisfied man to find satisfaction through words. ** In Bart Eeckhout, ''Wallace Stevens and the Limits of Reading and Writing'' (2002), Ch. 12 "Poeticizing Epistemology", p. 268 == Quotes about Stevens == [[File:Poet in the City event on Wallace Stevens.jpg|thumb|Post-religious man, as Stevens saw him, still had a deep need for the kind of exaltation of the body and spirit which goes under different names in different religions — Christians call it [[w:Divine grace|grace]]. ~ [[Justin Quinn]]]] [[File:Library Walk 22.JPG|thumb|Contrary to all appearances, to the difficulty of his verse, and to the preoccupied, distracted interpretations of contemporary critics, Wallace Stevens' poetry is a profoundly spiritual force. Anyone interested in the spiritual problems of modern humans must reckon with it. ~ [[Dana Wilde]]]] * Post-religious man, as Stevens saw him, still had a deep need for the kind of exaltation of the body and spirit which goes under different names in different religions — Christians call it [[w:Divine grace|grace]], that is, the feeling or knowledge that the [[workings]] of [[God]] are revealed to the individual, thus lifting him or her up to a state of ecstatic consciousness. ... For the romantics in general such moments of ecstasis in the midst of nature are experienced by the solitary imagination, and the bonds of society are cast away as unimportant. Stevens once said that the romantic is a falsification, and perhaps the reason for the comment was his feeling that such moments of ecstatic relation in the midst of nature had to be given a ''social'' and eventually ''political'' meaning, rather than remaining in the arena of the spirit. Stevens poetry then offers a pastoral romantic ecstasis that become the occasions for searching out the relations between the individual, his or her [[community]] and the natural world. ** [[Justin Quinn]], [http://colloquium.upol.cz/coll00/quinn.htm "Nature & Ideology in Wallace Stevens"], ''colloquium.upol.cz'' (2000) *A more attractive attitude of defense was disclosed at a café. In one corner, a man was playing a guitar, and the stranger turned to watch him. The guitar player was good; the stop and tremble of the strings touched everyone in that room. "You know," said the stranger, "I respect creative people, any kind; I never used to feel that way, but something happened-I know a man in the city I come from, a business associate (I'm a lawyer)-we've gone on fishing trips for twenty years I know him fairly well, I'd say-big man, too: six foot four, weighs two hundred and forty pounds. Twenty years, and I just found out last month that he writes poems. I asked around; he's written books of them; very good, too, they say. I'm going to get ahold of some. But I sure feel different about creative people." "What is the name of your friend?" "Wallace Stevens," said the stranger. **[[Muriel Rukeyser]] ''The Life of Poetry'' (1949) * I turn now <br> not to [[the Bible]] <br> but to Wallace Stevens. ** [[R. S. Thomas]], in "Homage to Wallace Stevens" in ''No Truce with the Furies'' (1995) * [[Blessings]], Stevens; <br> I stand with my back to grammar <br> At an altar you never aspired <br> to, celebrating the sacrament <br> of the imagination whose high-priest <br> notwithstanding you are. ** [[R. S. Thomas]], in "Homage to Wallace Stevens" in ''No Truce with the Furies'' (1995) * At the [[heart]] of many of Stevens's poems are harsh and unpalatable [[experiences]] revealed only gradually through his intense stylization. ** [[w:Helen Vendler|Helen Vendler]], in ''The Columbia History of American Poetry'' (1993) edited by Jay Parini and Brett Candlish Millier * Stevens' way of informing us comes in language and imagery so radically different from previous times that it is difficult to recognize exactly what he means. But throughout his poetry he speaks, like the [[mystics]], primarily of the nature of our relationship with the universe. He continually circles back to the idea that we actively participate in what the world looks like and what it means. Although cast in modern terms, this idea is profoundly spiritual and moral. {{pb}} Since he gives no evidence of any direct visionary experience, it's not possible to say Stevens is a "mystic" or a "contemplative" poet. But he is a major figure in modern poetry because he synthesizes the concerns of the modern world — the emphasis on the human self as maker of meaning, the emphasis on scientific rationality, the emphasis on creating new forms to replace outmoded beliefs — with the perennial concerns of the human spirit. To find meaning, or the good — or by implication, God — we need to radically adjust our conception of reality. This takes powerful acts of individual imagination, and the possibilities are immense... Contrary to all appearances, to the difficulty of his verse, and to the preoccupied, distracted interpretations of contemporary critics, Wallace Stevens' poetry is a profoundly spiritual force. Anyone interested in the spiritual problems of modern humans must reckon with it. ** Dana Wilde [http://www.antigonishreview.com/bi-109/109-wilde.html "An Introduction to Reading Wallace Stevens as a Poet of the Human Spirit" in ''The Antigonish Review'' 109 (February 1999)] * Mr. Stevens is the master of a style: that is the most remarkable thing about him. His gift for combining words is baffling and fantastic but sure: even when you do not know what he is saying, you know that he is saying it well. ** [[Edmund Wilson]], 1924 review of ''Harmonium'', in ''The Shores of Light: A Literary Chronicle of the Twenties and Thirties'' (1952), p. 49 * Stevens is a poet who argues that [[life]] is what one makes of it within the limitations of one's own [[sensibility]]. ** Samuel French Morse in introduction to ''Poems by Wallace Stevens'' (1959), p. 13. == External links == * {{wikipedia-inline}} * {{Wikisource-inline}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Stevens, Wallace}} [[Category:Poets from the United States]] [[Category:Absurdists]] [[Category:Agnostics]] [[Category:Humanists]] [[Category:Mystics]] [[Category:Businesspeople from the United States]] [[Category:Lawyers from the United States]] [[Category:1879 births]] [[Category:1955 deaths]] [[Category:People from Pennsylvania]] [[Category:Formalist poets]] h8liqx3e7t6q63aztvqipttsonx2xkl 3942062 3942056 2026-05-17T13:51:33Z Ficaia 3085955 Replaced content with " * x ** x" 3942062 wikitext text/x-wiki * x ** x 8o862e97suhd67uk0tj3ieznaeg6qgl 0 307383 3942281 3941959 2026-05-18T11:43:29Z Mariomassone 67935 /* Hunting with the Moon */ 3942281 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Dereck Joubert|Dereck Joubert]]''' (born 3 March 1956) is a South African-born filmmaker, author, conservationist and National Geographic explorer-at-large based in Botswana. ==Quotes== ===''Hunting with the Moon''=== :<small>Joubert, Dereck (1997). ''Hunting with the Moon: The Lions of Savuti''. National Geographic. ISBN 0-7922-7020-7</small> *In the north, three of the most beautiful lions we've ever seen ruled one territory. Tourists named the magnificent males a confusing variety of names, but to us these three "lions of darkness" were known as Tona, Tsididi, and Nyatsi. Tona, the largest of the three, had thick, long, dark mane hair that so engulfed his head, shoulders, back, and the underside of his belly that he looked clumsy when he walked. Apart from their behavior during mating, the three males were extremely close.<br>During their reign, Tona, Tsididi, and Nyatsi paraded about like three great kings sharing their domain. No intruder was tolerated. All males were expelled, and all cubs of the old were killed. But together these stern kings were like tender young cubs, greeting each other constantly, rubbing their giant heads together, rolling over together and displaying a companionship I have never seen before or after. **p.56 *One memorable day, a prime male lion watched a breeding herd with a newly born elephant calf struggling in the mud of the water hole. He was not particularly interested. He had come for water, and the black muddy patch on his chin indicated that he had been successful in drinking. This lion had a strong character, and, because of an incident I'll describe later, we named him Ntchwaidumela – "he who greets with fire". In all else he deferred to his companion, who was probably a half brother or first cousin, but he was certainly stout of heart when it came to confrontations with other species, elephants included.<br>As Ntchwaidumela rested near the water, two huge bulls came down to drink. He virtually ignored them as they thundered slowly past, within ten feet of him. Suddenly the second bull saw the lion and bellowed, fanning out his ears. Usually this would have got anything up and running, but Ntchwaidumela actually looked the other way. Then the elephant charged, and in a second the lion whipped around and charged right back, leaping up at the bull elephant's head. The elephant stopped, but before the dust could settle he kicked out at the male lion, who was back in resting position, looking at his adversary. The bull stepped forward again, determined to see the lion off. Now, with less than a yard between him and the elephant, the lion still growled, and he stood down the charge until the very last second, when he ducked away under the massive feet. The interaction was over, the elephant moved off, and Ntchwaidumela settled defiantly down to rest again no more than 30 feet away. Over the years, this male lion lived up to his name many times. **p. 114 *We first read about a male lion attacking a hyena in East Africa, an account by Hugo van Lawick and Jane Goodall in ''Innocent Killers''. As we followed the male lions in Savuti we saw more examples of this, and a pattern started developing.<br>It began with Nyatsi.<br>One day while walking across an open area, he stopped and stared into a bush. It was midday. When he started stalking we thought a young impala might be hidden in the bushes. He ran into the thicket, and, after a confusion of squeals and growls and bushes and dust, the male lion emerged with a hyena.<br>Within a month we witnessed Tona and Nyatsi both actively hunt down hyenas. Then when the four new males took over, we saw one of the younger males, Cromwell, catch another hyena. Gradually we started finding hyena carcasses around more and more, but seldom did we see the same male catch hyenas twice.<br>Then came Ntchwaidumela. He was one of the four challengers who ousted Tsididi, Tona, and Nyatsi, and he was the smallest of the new males, always noticeably more timid when it came to lion business such as mating the females or contesting any small point with his "brothers". In time the consortium broke up, and Mandevu, a dark-maned male, and the small Ntchwaidumela stayed in the south. They had the best territory in Savuti: the marsh.<br>Slowly we began to notice a change in Ntchwaidumela's behavior. One night as we trundled along behind the two males, the smaller one suddenly stopped, dropped his head down to shoulder height, and flattened his body into a crouching position as he glided forward, intent on something ahead that we couldn't see. We were not far from the hyena dens. He burst into a run, and after a 750-yard run he stopped, letting the hyena escape. With fire in his eyes he looked around, searching for another hyena that he saw lurking in the long grass. He charged again, another run of at least 500 yards. Then another broke cover and again he gave chase. All three escaped, but the male was obviously hunting them. Mandevu, the second male, just walked along in any direction Ntchwaidumela chose, not joining in the game.<br>Although he wasted a lot of effort that night, Ntchwaidumela chased hyena after hyena actively, trying to make contact until the area was cleared. Only then did the two males move on with their patrol. The young blonde male roared repeatedly after each chase. Ntchwaidumela — "the war greeting" or "he who greets with fire" — was christened that day. We saw this male chase hyenas many times over the five years we followed him. Soon he was no longer distinguishable as the "young" male, but he was always smaller than the other three he arrived with. Strangely, he was dominated by Mandevu, the dark companion, whenever an estrus female was around. Ntchwaidumela did get to spread his genes, but only if two females came into estrus at once. **pp. 131-132 *The rains had started and zebra were in the marsh. ... We found Mandevu in the middle of the marsh, roaring half-heartedly from time to time. After an hour with him we saw him look up into the dark in anticipation of something. We shone around and saw the unmistakable sight of a small male with a big blonde mane. Ntchwaidumela. He walked in with a determined stride and greeted Mandevu. These two males, unlike their predecessors, seldom spent much time showing affection to each other. They rubbed heads briefly and separated and lay down a few lion lengths apart. For the next half hour they were both silent, looking around into a blackness in which we could see nothing.<br>Over a mile away, the zebra stampeded. Both males looked toward the noise but did not bother to get up. Then we all heard the hyenas. They had chased and killed a zebra foal; the cries of the foal mingled with the sounds of hyena cackles. Ntchwaidumela reacted immediately, jumping up and trotting off in the direction of the noise. We knew what was coming. We raced around ahead of him to get into position but had to stop twice to get a direction fix on the noises. As we pulled up at the kill Beverly saw Ntchwaidumela next to us — he had covered the distance as fast as we had. The lights went on and the camera rolled as the male charged in, landing on the most dominant hyena, biting her shoulder, rolling over and ripping with his back legs. He adjusted his mouthhold and sank his teeth into her back, forcing his jaws closed. We heard the bones crack. The way he shook the hyena was like no other kill we've seen. It was a definite attempt to break every bone in the victim's body. "Fury" and "rage" are the best adjectives for what we were seeing. Within seconds other hyenas gathered and counterattacked the male, biting his rump hard enough to make him release his hold on the matriarch but not enough to quell his apparent rage, because he lashed out and raced after them. The matriarch we found later, with a broken back.<br>Ntchwaidumela had become the "hyena killer". **pp. 136-137 *From the top of the marsh, Mandevu roared. Although she was well over five miles away, one of the hyenas looked up, raised her tail, and loped off in that direction. We were keen to follow because we were beginning to suspect the female hyena of being the new matriarch of the marsh clan, a successor after Ntchwaidumela dispatched the last matriarch. ... The female hyena found the lion. It wasn't difficult — he was walking south down the center of the marsh, roaring every ten minutes. He was obviously looking for the pride because he sniffed constantly, and we could see lion tracks on the path ahead of him. During the day hyenas usually give lions a wide berth, in particular if there is no sign of food about. But on this day, Christmas 1990, the hyena actively sought out the male lion and then started harassing him. ... Now the lion was marking aggressively across the species barrier, and, amazingly, as he moved off, the matriarchal hyena raced up to that spot and deposited her own mark on top of his. This apparently infuriated the lion, and he charged, but the hyena ran away, circled, and started her harassment again. ... This hyena was badgering the male, and because it was Mandevu he didn't retaliate. In fact, he was soon losing ground, walking faster and with less grace. His ears were flat against his head and his posture was that of a young submissive lione rather than a pride male.<br>...<br>Then, in the far distance, we saw Ntchwaidumela coming at a fast, steady pace. He had heared the sounds of the skirmish, and from the looks of him, he was about to run into a battle. Mandevu lay down. The matriarch circled him and marked again and made off just before Motsumi saw what was happening and chased. Ntchwaidumela broke into a full run, a charge from 150 yards or more, his mouth agape, sucking air down his throat, pumping oxygen into his lungs, fueling his heart. As soon as we were close enough for us to see his eyes, we could discern the fixed direction of his gaze. It was on the matriarch, and for the full run those yellow eyes never left their target.<br>The matriarch's back legs reached in front of the front feet as if her rear end was determined to outrun her front. Motsumi was in full swing behind that rear end and swiped out, hooking a lazy back leg. The matriarch tumbled, swinging around in a full flying circle, crying out in alarm, exposing her only defense: her teeth. Motsumi pulled back and the hyena righted herself in full fall, picking up her footing like a gymnast and racing for the hills. Ntchwaidumela didn't falter. His gait just stretched longer, reaching for the hyena. The gap closed slowly. The hyena looked over her shoulder, saw the lion, and put a final effort into her escape. But the male lion pulled from his own reserves of energy, and the gap closed just a little bit more. When the time was right, Ntchwaidumela reached forward first with one paw and then the other and latched on to the legs of the hyena. The speed of the chase carried on its momentum, taking both the lion and the hyena skidding along the ground. As they skidded, the male moved his grip up the hyena's back, positioning his head for the killing bite to the neck. The growls and hyena squeals faded away with the life of the hyena, until all was silent and the hyena lay still. It was Christmas day, and we were exhausted by 7:30 in the morning. We had our gift for the season. This was the footage we needed to prove that Ntchwaidumela's hatred for hyenas was absolute and individual. **pp. 138-140 ==External links== {{wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Joubert, Dereck}} [[Category:1950 births]] [[Category:Authors from South Africa]] [[Category:Film directors from South Africa]] [[Category:Living people]] ri4hcz3d1j1eaeuf0ip95vnffanw4ya 3942282 3942281 2026-05-18T11:43:50Z Mariomassone 67935 /* Hunting with the Moon */ 3942282 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Dereck Joubert|Dereck Joubert]]''' (born 3 March 1956) is a South African-born filmmaker, author, conservationist and National Geographic explorer-at-large based in Botswana. ==Quotes== ===''Hunting with the Moon''=== :<small>Joubert, Dereck (1997). ''Hunting with the Moon: The Lions of Savuti''. National Geographic. ISBN 0-7922-7020-7</small> *In the north, three of the most beautiful lions we've ever seen ruled one territory. Tourists named the magnificent males a confusing variety of names, but to us these three "lions of darkness" were known as Tona, Tsididi, and Nyatsi. Tona, the largest of the three, had thick, long, dark mane hair that so engulfed his head, shoulders, back, and the underside of his belly that he looked clumsy when he walked. Apart from their behavior during mating, the three males were extremely close.<br>During their reign, Tona, Tsididi, and Nyatsi paraded about like three great kings sharing their domain. No intruder was tolerated. All males were expelled, and all cubs of the old were killed. But together these stern kings were like tender young cubs, greeting each other constantly, rubbing their giant heads together, rolling over together and displaying a companionship I have never seen before or after. **p.56 *One memorable day, a prime male lion watched a breeding herd with a newly born elephant calf struggling in the mud of the water hole. He was not particularly interested. He had come for water, and the black muddy patch on his chin indicated that he had been successful in drinking. This lion had a strong character, and, because of an incident I'll describe later, we named him Ntchwaidumela – "he who greets with fire". In all else he deferred to his companion, who was probably a half brother or first cousin, but he was certainly stout of heart when it came to confrontations with other species, elephants included.<br>As Ntchwaidumela rested near the water, two huge bulls came down to drink. He virtually ignored them as they thundered slowly past, within ten feet of him. Suddenly the second bull saw the lion and bellowed, fanning out his ears. Usually this would have got anything up and running, but Ntchwaidumela actually looked the other way. Then the elephant charged, and in a second the lion whipped around and charged right back, leaping up at the bull elephant's head. The elephant stopped, but before the dust could settle he kicked out at the male lion, who was back in resting position, looking at his adversary. The bull stepped forward again, determined to see the lion off. Now, with less than a yard between him and the elephant, the lion still growled, and he stood down the charge until the very last second, when he ducked away under the massive feet. The interaction was over, the elephant moved off, and Ntchwaidumela settled defiantly down to rest again no more than 30 feet away. Over the years, this male lion lived up to his name many times. **p. 114 *We first read about a male lion attacking a hyena in East Africa, an account by Hugo van Lawick and Jane Goodall in ''Innocent Killers''. As we followed the male lions in Savuti we saw more examples of this, and a pattern started developing.<br>It began with Nyatsi.<br>One day while walking across an open area, he stopped and stared into a bush. It was midday. When he started stalking we thought a young impala might be hidden in the bushes. He ran into the thicket, and, after a confusion of squeals and growls and bushes and dust, the male lion emerged with a hyena.<br>Within a month we witnessed Tona and Nyatsi both actively hunt down hyenas. Then when the four new males took over, we saw one of the younger males, Cromwell, catch another hyena. Gradually we started finding hyena carcasses around more and more, but seldom did we see the same male catch hyenas twice.<br>Then came Ntchwaidumela. He was one of the four challengers who ousted Tsididi, Tona, and Nyatsi, and he was the smallest of the new males, always noticeably more timid when it came to lion business such as mating the females or contesting any small point with his "brothers". In time the consortium broke up, and Mandevu, a dark-maned male, and the small Ntchwaidumela stayed in the south. They had the best territory in Savuti: the marsh.<br>Slowly we began to notice a change in Ntchwaidumela's behavior. One night as we trundled along behind the two males, the smaller one suddenly stopped, dropped his head down to shoulder height, and flattened his body into a crouching position as he glided forward, intent on something ahead that we couldn't see. We were not far from the hyena dens. He burst into a run, and after a 750-yard run he stopped, letting the hyena escape. With fire in his eyes he looked around, searching for another hyena that he saw lurking in the long grass. He charged again, another run of at least 500 yards. Then another broke cover and again he gave chase. All three escaped, but the male was obviously hunting them. Mandevu, the second male, just walked along in any direction Ntchwaidumela chose, not joining in the game.<br>Although he wasted a lot of effort that night, Ntchwaidumela chased hyena after hyena actively, trying to make contact until the area was cleared. Only then did the two males move on with their patrol. The young blonde male roared repeatedly after each chase. Ntchwaidumela — "the war greeting" or "he who greets with fire" — was christened that day. We saw this male chase hyenas many times over the five years we followed him. Soon he was no longer distinguishable as the "young" male, but he was always smaller than the other three he arrived with. Strangely, he was dominated by Mandevu, the dark companion, whenever an estrus female was around. Ntchwaidumela did get to spread his genes, but only if two females came into estrus at once. **pp. 131-132 *The rains had started and zebra were in the marsh. ... We found Mandevu in the middle of the marsh, roaring half-heartedly from time to time. After an hour with him we saw him look up into the dark in anticipation of something. We shone around and saw the unmistakable sight of a small male with a big blonde mane. Ntchwaidumela. He walked in with a determined stride and greeted Mandevu. These two males, unlike their predecessors, seldom spent much time showing affection to each other. They rubbed heads briefly and separated and lay down a few lion lengths apart. For the next half hour they were both silent, looking around into a blackness in which we could see nothing.<br>Over a mile away, the zebra stampeded. Both males looked toward the noise but did not bother to get up. Then we all heard the hyenas. They had chased and killed a zebra foal; the cries of the foal mingled with the sounds of hyena cackles. Ntchwaidumela reacted immediately, jumping up and trotting off in the direction of the noise. We knew what was coming. We raced around ahead of him to get into position but had to stop twice to get a direction fix on the noises. As we pulled up at the kill Beverly saw Ntchwaidumela next to us — he had covered the distance as fast as we had. The lights went on and the camera rolled as the male charged in, landing on the most dominant hyena, biting her shoulder, rolling over and ripping with his back legs. He adjusted his mouthhold and sank his teeth into her back, forcing his jaws closed. We heard the bones crack. The way he shook the hyena was like no other kill we've seen. It was a definite attempt to break every bone in the victim's body. "Fury" and "rage" are the best adjectives for what we were seeing. Within seconds other hyenas gathered and counterattacked the male, biting his rump hard enough to make him release his hold on the matriarch but not enough to quell his apparent rage, because he lashed out and raced after them. The matriarch we found later, with a broken back.<br>Ntchwaidumela had become the "hyena killer". **pp. 136-137 *From the top of the marsh, Mandevu roared. Although she was well over five miles away, one of the hyenas looked up, raised her tail, and loped off in that direction. We were keen to follow because we were beginning to suspect the female hyena of being the new matriarch of the marsh clan, a successor after Ntchwaidumela dispatched the last matriarch. ... The female hyena found the lion. It wasn't difficult — he was walking south down the center of the marsh, roaring every ten minutes. He was obviously looking for the pride because he sniffed constantly, and we could see lion tracks on the path ahead of him. During the day hyenas usually give lions a wide berth, in particular if there is no sign of food about. But on this day, Christmas 1990, the hyena actively sought out the male lion and then started harassing him. ... Now the lion was marking aggressively across the species barrier, and, amazingly, as he moved off, the matriarchal hyena raced up to that spot and deposited her own mark on top of his. This apparently infuriated the lion, and he charged, but the hyena ran away, circled, and started her harassment again. ... This hyena was badgering the male, and because it was Mandevu he didn't retaliate. In fact, he was soon losing ground, walking faster and with less grace. His ears were flat against his head and his posture was that of a young submissive lione rather than a pride male.<br>...<br>Then, in the far distance, we saw Ntchwaidumela coming at a fast, steady pace. He had heard the sounds of the skirmish, and from the looks of him, he was about to run into a battle. Mandevu lay down. The matriarch circled him and marked again and made off just before Motsumi saw what was happening and chased. Ntchwaidumela broke into a full run, a charge from 150 yards or more, his mouth agape, sucking air down his throat, pumping oxygen into his lungs, fueling his heart. As soon as we were close enough for us to see his eyes, we could discern the fixed direction of his gaze. It was on the matriarch, and for the full run those yellow eyes never left their target.<br>The matriarch's back legs reached in front of the front feet as if her rear end was determined to outrun her front. Motsumi was in full swing behind that rear end and swiped out, hooking a lazy back leg. The matriarch tumbled, swinging around in a full flying circle, crying out in alarm, exposing her only defense: her teeth. Motsumi pulled back and the hyena righted herself in full fall, picking up her footing like a gymnast and racing for the hills. Ntchwaidumela didn't falter. His gait just stretched longer, reaching for the hyena. The gap closed slowly. The hyena looked over her shoulder, saw the lion, and put a final effort into her escape. But the male lion pulled from his own reserves of energy, and the gap closed just a little bit more. When the time was right, Ntchwaidumela reached forward first with one paw and then the other and latched on to the legs of the hyena. The speed of the chase carried on its momentum, taking both the lion and the hyena skidding along the ground. As they skidded, the male moved his grip up the hyena's back, positioning his head for the killing bite to the neck. The growls and hyena squeals faded away with the life of the hyena, until all was silent and the hyena lay still. It was Christmas day, and we were exhausted by 7:30 in the morning. We had our gift for the season. This was the footage we needed to prove that Ntchwaidumela's hatred for hyenas was absolute and individual. **pp. 138-140 ==External links== {{wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Joubert, Dereck}} [[Category:1950 births]] [[Category:Authors from South Africa]] [[Category:Film directors from South Africa]] [[Category:Living people]] nhwov34hfv6bzpzu2pm36fmrp5rfg38 0 307384 3942049 3941998 2026-05-17T12:49:22Z Afriquedem 3323460 External links /Categories 3942049 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Yordan Ivov Terziyski| Yordan Ivov Terziyski]]''' (born 7 February 1984) is a Bulgarian architect and politician. He is a member of the political party [[w:We Continue the Change | We Continue the Change]] a centrist, anti-corruption political party. He has served as a Member of the National Assembly in the 47th and 48th [[w:National_Assembly_(Bulgaria) |National_Assembly_(Bulgaria)]].<ref name="parliament">{{cite web |title=Йордан Терзийски – Народно събрание |url=https://www.parliament.bg/bg/MP/3835 |website=parliament.bg |access-date=15 May 2026}}</ref>. ==Quotes == === Interview on [[w:Yantra Today Live|Yantra Today Live ]] 5 April 2026 == <small>[ https://www.dnesbg.com/pari-i-vlast/arh-yordan-terziyski-koruptsiyata-se-bori-s-realni-deystviya-a-ne-s-prazni-prikazki.html Online text]</small> * Corruption is fought with real actions, not with empty talk. *"Corruption can only be eradicated with functioning institutions and individuals who have proven that they have the knowledge and will to fight the battle and will not succumb to pressure. We resisted the political repression against our mayors and municipal councilors, who spent months in detention without sentences. We resisted the media attacks and ugly manipulations aimed at killing the energy of the protests, with which we, together with all the angry Bulgarians, managed to overthrow the corrupt government. We will resist the regrouping of the oligarchy now and we will finish what we have started by stopping the outrages in Bulgaria," ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- <small>[ https://www.dnesbg.com/pari-i-vlast/arh-yordan-terziyski-koruptsiyata-se-bori-s-realni-deystviya-a-ne-s-prazni-prikazki.html Online text]</small> *"Corruption should not simply be dismantled in order to be re-installed, as the regrouping oligarchy is planning. It must be eradicated and destroyed. The Bulgarians have made it clear that they do not want Borisov and Peevski in power, they do not want fake heroes-saviors, but want to live in a free, fair and rich state," ==Exernal Links== {{Wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Terziyski, Yordan Ivov}} [[Category:1984 Births]] [[Category:Living people]] oodp5rj78q4ucbhb1ogi980xgp1hos0 3942051 3942049 2026-05-17T12:55:30Z Afriquedem 3323460 [[File:Yordan Terziyski (47NS) 2021 (cropped).png|thumb|Yordan Terziyski (47NS) 2021 (cropped)]] 3942051 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Yordan Terziyski (47NS) 2021 (cropped).png|thumb|Yordan Terziyski (47NS) 2021 (cropped)]] '''[[w:Yordan Ivov Terziyski| Yordan Ivov Terziyski]]''' (born 7 February 1984) is a Bulgarian architect and politician. He is a member of the political party [[w:We Continue the Change | We Continue the Change]] a centrist, anti-corruption political party. He has served as a Member of the National Assembly in the 47th and 48th [[w:National_Assembly_(Bulgaria) |National_Assembly_(Bulgaria)]].<ref name="parliament">{{cite web |title=Йордан Терзийски – Народно събрание |url=https://www.parliament.bg/bg/MP/3835 |website=parliament.bg |access-date=15 May 2026}}</ref>. ==Quotes == === Interview on [[w:Yantra Today Live|Yantra Today Live ]] 5 April 2026 == <small>[ https://www.dnesbg.com/pari-i-vlast/arh-yordan-terziyski-koruptsiyata-se-bori-s-realni-deystviya-a-ne-s-prazni-prikazki.html Online text]</small> * Corruption is fought with real actions, not with empty talk. *"Corruption can only be eradicated with functioning institutions and individuals who have proven that they have the knowledge and will to fight the battle and will not succumb to pressure. We resisted the political repression against our mayors and municipal councilors, who spent months in detention without sentences. We resisted the media attacks and ugly manipulations aimed at killing the energy of the protests, with which we, together with all the angry Bulgarians, managed to overthrow the corrupt government. We will resist the regrouping of the oligarchy now and we will finish what we have started by stopping the outrages in Bulgaria," ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- <small>[ https://www.dnesbg.com/pari-i-vlast/arh-yordan-terziyski-koruptsiyata-se-bori-s-realni-deystviya-a-ne-s-prazni-prikazki.html Online text]</small> *"Corruption should not simply be dismantled in order to be re-installed, as the regrouping oligarchy is planning. It must be eradicated and destroyed. The Bulgarians have made it clear that they do not want Borisov and Peevski in power, they do not want fake heroes-saviors, but want to live in a free, fair and rich state," ==Exernal Links== {{Wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Terziyski, Yordan Ivov}} [[Category:1984 Births]] [[Category:Living people]] n0kiktd12mrze9cnnt4afm764ul82yq 3942052 3942051 2026-05-17T12:55:55Z Afriquedem 3323460 3942052 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Yordan Terziyski (47NS) 2021 (cropped).png|thumb|Yordan Terziyski )]] '''[[w:Yordan Ivov Terziyski| Yordan Ivov Terziyski]]''' (born 7 February 1984) is a Bulgarian architect and politician. He is a member of the political party [[w:We Continue the Change | We Continue the Change]] a centrist, anti-corruption political party. He has served as a Member of the National Assembly in the 47th and 48th [[w:National_Assembly_(Bulgaria) |National_Assembly_(Bulgaria)]].<ref name="parliament">{{cite web |title=Йордан Терзийски – Народно събрание |url=https://www.parliament.bg/bg/MP/3835 |website=parliament.bg |access-date=15 May 2026}}</ref>. ==Quotes == === Interview on [[w:Yantra Today Live|Yantra Today Live ]] 5 April 2026 == <small>[ https://www.dnesbg.com/pari-i-vlast/arh-yordan-terziyski-koruptsiyata-se-bori-s-realni-deystviya-a-ne-s-prazni-prikazki.html Online text]</small> * Corruption is fought with real actions, not with empty talk. *"Corruption can only be eradicated with functioning institutions and individuals who have proven that they have the knowledge and will to fight the battle and will not succumb to pressure. We resisted the political repression against our mayors and municipal councilors, who spent months in detention without sentences. We resisted the media attacks and ugly manipulations aimed at killing the energy of the protests, with which we, together with all the angry Bulgarians, managed to overthrow the corrupt government. We will resist the regrouping of the oligarchy now and we will finish what we have started by stopping the outrages in Bulgaria," ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- <small>[ https://www.dnesbg.com/pari-i-vlast/arh-yordan-terziyski-koruptsiyata-se-bori-s-realni-deystviya-a-ne-s-prazni-prikazki.html Online text]</small> *"Corruption should not simply be dismantled in order to be re-installed, as the regrouping oligarchy is planning. It must be eradicated and destroyed. The Bulgarians have made it clear that they do not want Borisov and Peevski in power, they do not want fake heroes-saviors, but want to live in a free, fair and rich state," ==Exernal Links== {{Wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Terziyski, Yordan Ivov}} [[Category:1984 Births]] [[Category:Living people]] 594dqjwr5lgqjsf92j0c2qbistl11pl 3942053 3942052 2026-05-17T12:56:30Z Afriquedem 3323460 /* Exernal Links */ 3942053 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Yordan Terziyski (47NS) 2021 (cropped).png|thumb|Yordan Terziyski )]] '''[[w:Yordan Ivov Terziyski| Yordan Ivov Terziyski]]''' (born 7 February 1984) is a Bulgarian architect and politician. He is a member of the political party [[w:We Continue the Change | We Continue the Change]] a centrist, anti-corruption political party. He has served as a Member of the National Assembly in the 47th and 48th [[w:National_Assembly_(Bulgaria) |National_Assembly_(Bulgaria)]].<ref name="parliament">{{cite web |title=Йордан Терзийски – Народно събрание |url=https://www.parliament.bg/bg/MP/3835 |website=parliament.bg |access-date=15 May 2026}}</ref>. ==Quotes == === Interview on [[w:Yantra Today Live|Yantra Today Live ]] 5 April 2026 == <small>[ https://www.dnesbg.com/pari-i-vlast/arh-yordan-terziyski-koruptsiyata-se-bori-s-realni-deystviya-a-ne-s-prazni-prikazki.html Online text]</small> * Corruption is fought with real actions, not with empty talk. *"Corruption can only be eradicated with functioning institutions and individuals who have proven that they have the knowledge and will to fight the battle and will not succumb to pressure. We resisted the political repression against our mayors and municipal councilors, who spent months in detention without sentences. We resisted the media attacks and ugly manipulations aimed at killing the energy of the protests, with which we, together with all the angry Bulgarians, managed to overthrow the corrupt government. We will resist the regrouping of the oligarchy now and we will finish what we have started by stopping the outrages in Bulgaria," ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- <small>[ https://www.dnesbg.com/pari-i-vlast/arh-yordan-terziyski-koruptsiyata-se-bori-s-realni-deystviya-a-ne-s-prazni-prikazki.html Online text]</small> *"Corruption should not simply be dismantled in order to be re-installed, as the regrouping oligarchy is planning. It must be eradicated and destroyed. The Bulgarians have made it clear that they do not want Borisov and Peevski in power, they do not want fake heroes-saviors, but want to live in a free, fair and rich state," ==Exernal Links== {{Wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Terziyski, Yordan Ivov}} [[Category:Living people]] hispd9njfjoockdstemvwqitcxj7gi3 3942058 3942053 2026-05-17T13:48:24Z Afriquedem 3323460 3942058 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Yordan Terziyski (47NS) 2021 (cropped).png|thumb|Yordan Terziyski )]] '''[[w:Yordan Ivov Terziyski| Yordan Ivov Terziyski]]''' (born 7 February 1984) is a Bulgarian architect and politician. He is a member of the political party [[w:We Continue the Change | We Continue the Change]] a centrist, anti-corruption political party. He has served as a Member of the National Assembly in the 47th and 48th [[w:National_Assembly_(Bulgaria) |National_Assembly_(Bulgaria)]].<ref name="parliament">{{cite web |title=Йордан Терзийски – Народно събрание |url=https://www.parliament.bg/bg/MP/3835 |website=parliament.bg |access-date=15 May 2026}}</ref>. ==Quotes == === Interview on [[w:Yantra Today Live|Yantra Today Live ]] 5 April 2026 === <small>[ https://www.dnesbg.com/pari-i-vlast/arh-yordan-terziyski-koruptsiyata-se-bori-s-realni-deystviya-a-ne-s-prazni-prikazki.html Online text]</small> * Corruption is fought with real actions, not with empty talk. *"Corruption can only be eradicated with functioning institutions and individuals who have proven that they have the knowledge and will to fight the battle and will not succumb to pressure. We resisted the political repression against our mayors and municipal councilors, who spent months in detention without sentences. We resisted the media attacks and ugly manipulations aimed at killing the energy of the protests, with which we, together with all the angry Bulgarians, managed to overthrow the corrupt government. We will resist the regrouping of the oligarchy now and we will finish what we have started by stopping the outrages in Bulgaria," ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- <small>[ https://www.dnesbg.com/pari-i-vlast/arh-yordan-terziyski-koruptsiyata-se-bori-s-realni-deystviya-a-ne-s-prazni-prikazki.html Online text]</small> *"Corruption should not simply be dismantled in order to be re-installed, as the regrouping oligarchy is planning. It must be eradicated and destroyed. The Bulgarians have made it clear that they do not want Borisov and Peevski in power, they do not want fake heroes-saviors, but want to live in a free, fair and rich state," ==Exernal Links== {{Wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Terziyski, Yordan Ivov}} [[Category:Living people]] 7nm0z6yhx20zumu65mcaa6bnax6m1sz 3942059 3942058 2026-05-17T13:49:22Z Afriquedem 3323460 3942059 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Yordan Terziyski (47NS) 2021 (cropped).png|thumb|Yordan Terziyski )]] '''[[w:Yordan Ivov Terziyski| Yordan Ivov Terziyski]]''' (born 7 February 1984) is a Bulgarian architect and politician. He is a member of the political party [[w:We Continue the Change | We Continue the Change]] a centrist, anti-corruption political party. He has served as a Member of the National Assembly in the 47th and 48th [[w:National_Assembly_(Bulgaria) |National_Assembly_(Bulgaria)]].<ref name="parliament">{{cite web |title=Йордан Терзийски – Народно събрание |url=https://www.parliament.bg/bg/MP/3835 |website=parliament.bg |access-date=15 May 2026}}</ref>. ==Quotes== ===Interview on [[w:Yantra Today Live|Yantra Today Live ]] 5 April 2026=== <small>[https://www.dnesbg.com/pari-i-vlast/arh-yordan-terziyski-koruptsiyata-se-bori-s-realni-deystviya-a-ne-s-prazni-prikazki.html Online text]</small> * Corruption is fought with real actions, not with empty talk. *"Corruption can only be eradicated with functioning institutions and individuals who have proven that they have the knowledge and will to fight the battle and will not succumb to pressure. We resisted the political repression against our mayors and municipal councilors, who spent months in detention without sentences. We resisted the media attacks and ugly manipulations aimed at killing the energy of the protests, with which we, together with all the angry Bulgarians, managed to overthrow the corrupt government. We will resist the regrouping of the oligarchy now and we will finish what we have started by stopping the outrages in Bulgaria," ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- <small>[ https://www.dnesbg.com/pari-i-vlast/arh-yordan-terziyski-koruptsiyata-se-bori-s-realni-deystviya-a-ne-s-prazni-prikazki.html Online text]</small> *"Corruption should not simply be dismantled in order to be re-installed, as the regrouping oligarchy is planning. It must be eradicated and destroyed. The Bulgarians have made it clear that they do not want Borisov and Peevski in power, they do not want fake heroes-saviors, but want to live in a free, fair and rich state," ==Exernal Links== {{Wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Terziyski, Yordan Ivov}} [[Category:Living people]] bzzt3kuyym8327wd58s13ikt6licmqq 3942060 3942059 2026-05-17T13:50:10Z Afriquedem 3323460 3942060 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Yordan Terziyski (47NS) 2021 (cropped).png|thumb|Yordan Terziyski )]] '''[[w:Yordan Ivov Terziyski| Yordan Ivov Terziyski]]''' (born 7 February 1984) is a Bulgarian architect and politician. He is a member of the political party [[w:We Continue the Change | We Continue the Change]] a centrist, anti-corruption political party. He has served as a Member of the National Assembly in the 47th and 48th [[w:National_Assembly_(Bulgaria) |National_Assembly_(Bulgaria)]].<ref name="parliament">{{cite web |title=Йордан Терзийски – Народно събрание |url=https://www.parliament.bg/bg/MP/3835 |website=parliament.bg |access-date=15 May 2026}}</ref>. ==Quotes== ===Interview on [[w:Yantra Today Live|Yantra Today Live ]] 5 April 2026=== <small>[https://www.dnesbg.com/pari-i-vlast/arh-yordan-terziyski-koruptsiyata-se-bori-s-realni-deystviya-a-ne-s-prazni-prikazki.html Online text]</small> * Corruption is fought with real actions, not with empty talk. *"Corruption can only be eradicated with functioning institutions and individuals who have proven that they have the knowledge and will to fight the battle and will not succumb to pressure. We resisted the political repression against our mayors and municipal councilors, who spent months in detention without sentences. We resisted the media attacks and ugly manipulations aimed at killing the energy of the protests, with which we, together with all the angry Bulgarians, managed to overthrow the corrupt government. We will resist the regrouping of the oligarchy now and we will finish what we have started by stopping the outrages in Bulgaria," ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- <small>[https://www.dnesbg.com/pari-i-vlast/arh-yordan-terziyski-koruptsiyata-se-bori-s-realni-deystviya-a-ne-s-prazni-prikazki.html Online text]</small> *"Corruption should not simply be dismantled in order to be re-installed, as the regrouping oligarchy is planning. It must be eradicated and destroyed. The Bulgarians have made it clear that they do not want Borisov and Peevski in power, they do not want fake heroes-saviors, but want to live in a free, fair and rich state," ==Exernal Links== {{Wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Terziyski, Yordan Ivov}} [[Category:Living people]] 1h7i42nhbjbat7t2icea91uatyr7mbj 2 307386 3942015 3942014 2026-05-17T11:59:33Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Presentations */ 3942015 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] 047phfsbw4rp6lfhhhjya2b0o6558yh 3942016 3942015 2026-05-17T11:59:59Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Resources */ 3942016 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] * [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote]] ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] kgst2my1bpjp3blm8mdib8mbqp1cdoj 3942017 3942016 2026-05-17T12:00:36Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Resources */ 3942017 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] * [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote]] * [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not]] ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] d9oc9ltv5nq1y59lh40vc3roa4fr56v 3942018 3942017 2026-05-17T12:03:41Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Works */ 3942018 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library File:Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations, 1896.djvu|''Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1896) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt, [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL7646132W/The_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL16381468M&mode=all#editions-list OL7646132W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] * [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote]] * [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not]] ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] 2s6fppqy6hnm7ifntxlvxn2o5ls75v6 3942019 3942018 2026-05-17T12:06:02Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Works */ 3942019 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library File:Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations, 1896.djvu|''Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1896) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt, [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL7646132W/The_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL16381468M&mode=all#editions-list OL7646132W] Open Library File:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922).djvu|''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations'' (1922) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt and Kate Louise Roberts [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL18542371W/Hoyt's_New_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL58730533M OL18542371W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] * [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote]] * [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not]] ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] nnwajr22dgd1s6mdui2lujf5ejf8ffu 3942020 3942019 2026-05-17T12:06:51Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Resources */ 3942020 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library File:Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations, 1896.djvu|''Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1896) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt, [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL7646132W/The_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL16381468M&mode=all#editions-list OL7646132W] Open Library File:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922).djvu|''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations'' (1922) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt and Kate Louise Roberts [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL18542371W/Hoyt's_New_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL58730533M OL18542371W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] * [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote]] * [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not]] * [[w:Gender Gap]] ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] tr2wtmg8120ithb64icstuaslf3o2il 3942021 3942020 2026-05-17T12:07:44Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Resources */ 3942021 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library File:Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations, 1896.djvu|''Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1896) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt, [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL7646132W/The_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL16381468M&mode=all#editions-list OL7646132W] Open Library File:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922).djvu|''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations'' (1922) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt and Kate Louise Roberts [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL18542371W/Hoyt's_New_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL58730533M OL18542371W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] * [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote]] * [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not]] * [[w:Gender Gap|Gender Gap]] on English Wikipedia * Stats [https://w.wiki/mfX w.wiki/mfX] ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] qpqiy0d6b7hkbgj21yhl2nfrnki8fbj 3942022 3942021 2026-05-17T12:08:12Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Resources */ 3942022 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library File:Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations, 1896.djvu|''Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1896) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt, [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL7646132W/The_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL16381468M&mode=all#editions-list OL7646132W] Open Library File:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922).djvu|''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations'' (1922) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt and Kate Louise Roberts [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL18542371W/Hoyt's_New_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL58730533M OL18542371W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] * [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote]] * [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not]] * [[w:Gender Gap|Gender Gap]] on English Wikipedia * Stats [https://w.wiki/mfX w.wiki/mfX] * [[Wikiquote:Neutral point of view]] ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] f2ao4xzzp9f8x5y9kld6xefya0yapkd 3942023 3942022 2026-05-17T12:08:41Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Resources */ 3942023 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library File:Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations, 1896.djvu|''Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1896) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt, [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL7646132W/The_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL16381468M&mode=all#editions-list OL7646132W] Open Library File:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922).djvu|''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations'' (1922) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt and Kate Louise Roberts [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL18542371W/Hoyt's_New_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL58730533M OL18542371W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] * [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote]] * [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not]] * [[w:Gender Gap|Gender Gap]] on English Wikipedia * Stats [https://w.wiki/mfX w.wiki/mfX] * [[Wikiquote:Neutral point of view]] * [[Wikiquote:Sourced and Unsourced sections]] ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] 15m0nes2fibhtgfhsjq947q1al6e3sy 3942024 3942023 2026-05-17T12:09:00Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Resources */ 3942024 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library File:Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations, 1896.djvu|''Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1896) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt, [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL7646132W/The_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL16381468M&mode=all#editions-list OL7646132W] Open Library File:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922).djvu|''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations'' (1922) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt and Kate Louise Roberts [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL18542371W/Hoyt's_New_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL58730533M OL18542371W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] * [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote]] * [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not]] * [[w:Gender Gap|Gender Gap]] on English Wikipedia * Stats [https://w.wiki/mfX w.wiki/mfX] * [[Wikiquote:Neutral point of view]] * [[Wikiquote:Sourced and Unsourced sections]] * [[Wikiquote:Copyrights]] ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] tg8y9x4d3fulgz76xdhlth1laqrtlxt 3942026 3942024 2026-05-17T12:10:34Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Resources */ 3942026 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library File:Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations, 1896.djvu|''Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1896) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt, [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL7646132W/The_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL16381468M&mode=all#editions-list OL7646132W] Open Library File:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922).djvu|''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations'' (1922) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt and Kate Louise Roberts [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL18542371W/Hoyt's_New_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL58730533M OL18542371W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] * [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote]] * [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not]] * [[w:Gender Gap|Gender Gap]] on English Wikipedia * Stats [https://w.wiki/mfX w.wiki/mfX] * [[Wikiquote:Neutral point of view]] * [[Wikiquote:Sourced and Unsourced sections]] * [[Wikiquote:Copyrights]] [[:Category:People]] * [[:Category:Themes]] * [[:List of literary works]] * ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] t6zi8mva0xfoa6954m6qvtmunksz1vz 3942027 3942026 2026-05-17T12:12:22Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Image Credits */ 3942027 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library File:Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations, 1896.djvu|''Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1896) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt, [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL7646132W/The_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL16381468M&mode=all#editions-list OL7646132W] Open Library File:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922).djvu|''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations'' (1922) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt and Kate Louise Roberts [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL18542371W/Hoyt's_New_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL58730533M OL18542371W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario File:Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin.JPG|''Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin'' by Lienhard Schulz [[User:Lienhard Schulz]], with permission of Scholz & Friends Sensai, agency of „Walk of Ideas“ </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] * [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote]] * [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not]] * [[w:Gender Gap|Gender Gap]] on English Wikipedia * Stats [https://w.wiki/mfX w.wiki/mfX] * [[Wikiquote:Neutral point of view]] * [[Wikiquote:Sourced and Unsourced sections]] * [[Wikiquote:Copyrights]] [[:Category:People]] * [[:Category:Themes]] * [[:List of literary works]] * ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] ekldrgjpxi29bb4sds5mwv5jj7ysej0 3942028 3942027 2026-05-17T12:15:35Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Image Credits */ 3942028 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library File:Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations, 1896.djvu|''Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1896) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt, [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL7646132W/The_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL16381468M&mode=all#editions-list OL7646132W] Open Library File:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922).djvu|''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations'' (1922) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt and Kate Louise Roberts [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL18542371W/Hoyt's_New_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL58730533M OL18542371W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario File:Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin.JPG|''Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin'' by Lienhard Schulz [[User:Lienhard Schulz]], with permission of Scholz & Friends Sensai, agency of „Walk of Ideas“ File:Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket - Skoklosters slott - 86262.tif|''Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket'', LSH 86262 (sm_dig4159) , attributed to Skokloster Castle / Jens Mohr / CC BY-SA </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] * [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote]] * [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not]] * [[w:Gender Gap|Gender Gap]] on English Wikipedia * Stats [https://w.wiki/mfX w.wiki/mfX] * [[Wikiquote:Neutral point of view]] * [[Wikiquote:Sourced and Unsourced sections]] * [[Wikiquote:Copyrights]] [[:Category:People]] * [[:Category:Themes]] * [[:List of literary works]] * ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] 8hedze2j2ujq39zscxarhdgdmnh5lx6 3942029 3942028 2026-05-17T12:16:15Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Examples */ 3942029 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library File:Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations, 1896.djvu|''Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1896) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt, [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL7646132W/The_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL16381468M&mode=all#editions-list OL7646132W] Open Library File:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922).djvu|''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations'' (1922) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt and Kate Louise Roberts [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL18542371W/Hoyt's_New_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL58730533M OL18542371W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario File:Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin.JPG|''Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin'' by Lienhard Schulz [[User:Lienhard Schulz]], with permission of Scholz & Friends Sensai, agency of „Walk of Ideas“ File:Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket - Skoklosters slott - 86262.tif|''Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket'', LSH 86262 (sm_dig4159) , attributed to Skokloster Castle / Jens Mohr / CC BY-SA </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] * [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote]] * [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not]] * [[w:Gender Gap|Gender Gap]] on English Wikipedia * Stats [https://w.wiki/mfX w.wiki/mfX] * [[Wikiquote:Neutral point of view]] * [[Wikiquote:Sourced and Unsourced sections]] * [[Wikiquote:Copyrights]] [[:Category:People]] * [[:Category:Themes]] * [[:List of literary works]] * ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] * [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] * [[Marie Curie]] kfp83v7ebpdeub9q6xv45xgflj4ohco 3942030 3942029 2026-05-17T12:18:46Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Image Credits */ 3942030 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library File:Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations, 1896.djvu|''Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1896) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt, [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL7646132W/The_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL16381468M&mode=all#editions-list OL7646132W] Open Library File:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922).djvu|''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations'' (1922) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt and Kate Louise Roberts [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL18542371W/Hoyt's_New_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL58730533M OL18542371W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario File:Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin.JPG|''Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin'' by Lienhard Schulz [[User:Lienhard Schulz]], with permission of Scholz & Friends Sensai, agency of „Walk of Ideas“ File:Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket - Skoklosters slott - 86262.tif|''Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket'', LSH 86262 (sm_dig4159) , attributed to Skokloster Castle / Jens Mohr / CC BY-SA File:Brocken-tanzawa.JPG|''Brocken spectre'', by Σ64, [[https://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/user:%CE%A364|User:Σ64]] </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] * [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote]] * [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not]] * [[w:Gender Gap|Gender Gap]] on English Wikipedia * Stats [https://w.wiki/mfX w.wiki/mfX] * [[Wikiquote:Neutral point of view]] * [[Wikiquote:Sourced and Unsourced sections]] * [[Wikiquote:Copyrights]] [[:Category:People]] * [[:Category:Themes]] * [[:List of literary works]] * ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] * [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] * [[Marie Curie]] nqbxluzhwns8ipu0x8kufwzm6hsccsk 3942031 3942030 2026-05-17T12:20:44Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Image Credits */ 3942031 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library File:Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations, 1896.djvu|''Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1896) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt, [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL7646132W/The_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL16381468M&mode=all#editions-list OL7646132W] Open Library File:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922).djvu|''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations'' (1922) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt and Kate Louise Roberts [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL18542371W/Hoyt's_New_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL58730533M OL18542371W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario File:Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin.JPG|''Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin'' by Lienhard Schulz [[User:Lienhard Schulz]], with permission of Scholz & Friends Sensai, agency of „Walk of Ideas“ File:Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket - Skoklosters slott - 86262.tif|''Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket'', LSH 86262 (sm_dig4159) , attributed to Skokloster Castle / Jens Mohr / CC BY-SA File:Brocken-tanzawa.JPG|''Brocken spectre'', by Σ64, [[https://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/user:%CE%A364|User:Σ64]] File:Swan in Sunshine - Tierpark Olderdissen.jpg|''Swan in Sunshine - Tierpark Olderdissen'' by Bernd Sieker [[User:Pinc]] </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] * [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote]] * [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not]] * [[w:Gender Gap|Gender Gap]] on English Wikipedia * Stats [https://w.wiki/mfX w.wiki/mfX] * [[Wikiquote:Neutral point of view]] * [[Wikiquote:Sourced and Unsourced sections]] * [[Wikiquote:Copyrights]] [[:Category:People]] * [[:Category:Themes]] * [[:List of literary works]] * ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] * [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] * [[Marie Curie]] 3akf6gz6yy9sv1ki5zg83uckoildx5x 3942033 3942031 2026-05-17T12:23:01Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Image Credits */ 3942033 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library File:Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations, 1896.djvu|''Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1896) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt, [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL7646132W/The_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL16381468M&mode=all#editions-list OL7646132W] Open Library File:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922).djvu|''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations'' (1922) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt and Kate Louise Roberts [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL18542371W/Hoyt's_New_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL58730533M OL18542371W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario File:Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin.JPG|''Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin'' by Lienhard Schulz [[User:Lienhard Schulz]], with permission of Scholz & Friends Sensai, agency of „Walk of Ideas“ File:Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket - Skoklosters slott - 86262.tif|''Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket'', LSH 86262 (sm_dig4159) , attributed to Skokloster Castle / Jens Mohr / CC BY-SA File:Brocken-tanzawa.JPG|''Brocken spectre'', by Σ64, [[https://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/user:%CE%A364|User:Σ64]] File:Swan in Sunshine - Tierpark Olderdissen.jpg|''Swan in Sunshine - Tierpark Olderdissen'' by Bernd Sieker [[User:Pinc]] File:Graincourt, attributed to - Turgot - Versailles MV 3923.jpg|''Graincourt, attributed to - Turgot - Versailles MV 3923'' by Unknown author, Attributed to Antoine Graincourt (1748–1823), photograph by [http://collections.chateauversailles.fr/#c1f54bf2-38c5-4305-8c7b-b334223ec6d7 chateauversailles.fr] </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] * [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote]] * [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not]] * [[w:Gender Gap|Gender Gap]] on English Wikipedia * Stats [https://w.wiki/mfX w.wiki/mfX] * [[Wikiquote:Neutral point of view]] * [[Wikiquote:Sourced and Unsourced sections]] * [[Wikiquote:Copyrights]] [[:Category:People]] * [[:Category:Themes]] * [[:List of literary works]] * ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] * [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] * [[Marie Curie]] lm2ij9bejimkk8h4c7vw649ajcwgiqy 3942036 3942033 2026-05-17T12:24:43Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Image Credits */ 3942036 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library File:Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations, 1896.djvu|''Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1896) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt, [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL7646132W/The_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL16381468M&mode=all#editions-list OL7646132W] Open Library File:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922).djvu|''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations'' (1922) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt and Kate Louise Roberts [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL18542371W/Hoyt's_New_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL58730533M OL18542371W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario File:Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin.JPG|''Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin'' by Lienhard Schulz [[User:Lienhard Schulz]], with permission of Scholz & Friends Sensai, agency of „Walk of Ideas“ File:Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket - Skoklosters slott - 86262.tif|''Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket'', LSH 86262 (sm_dig4159) , attributed to Skokloster Castle / Jens Mohr / CC BY-SA File:Brocken-tanzawa.JPG|''Brocken spectre'', by Σ64, [[ja:wikipedia:User:%CE%A364|User:Σ64]] File:Swan in Sunshine - Tierpark Olderdissen.jpg|''Swan in Sunshine - Tierpark Olderdissen'' by Bernd Sieker User:Pinc File:Graincourt, attributed to - Turgot - Versailles MV 3923.jpg|''Graincourt, attributed to - Turgot - Versailles MV 3923'' by Unknown author, Attributed to Antoine Graincourt (1748–1823), photograph by [http://collections.chateauversailles.fr/#c1f54bf2-38c5-4305-8c7b-b334223ec6d7 chateauversailles.fr] </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] * [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote]] * [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not]] * [[w:Gender Gap|Gender Gap]] on English Wikipedia * Stats [https://w.wiki/mfX w.wiki/mfX] * [[Wikiquote:Neutral point of view]] * [[Wikiquote:Sourced and Unsourced sections]] * [[Wikiquote:Copyrights]] [[:Category:People]] * [[:Category:Themes]] * [[:List of literary works]] * ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] * [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] * [[Marie Curie]] 2mm0yo5a66nbq8jpygqricl6r4wxaf0 3942037 3942036 2026-05-17T12:26:38Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Image Credits */ 3942037 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library File:Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations, 1896.djvu|''Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1896) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt, [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL7646132W/The_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL16381468M&mode=all#editions-list OL7646132W] Open Library File:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922).djvu|''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations'' (1922) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt and Kate Louise Roberts [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL18542371W/Hoyt's_New_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL58730533M OL18542371W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario File:Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin.JPG|''Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin'' by Lienhard Schulz [[User:Lienhard Schulz]], with permission of Scholz & Friends Sensai, agency of „Walk of Ideas“ File:Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket - Skoklosters slott - 86262.tif|''Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket'', LSH 86262 (sm_dig4159) , attributed to Skokloster Castle / Jens Mohr / CC BY-SA File:Brocken-tanzawa.JPG|''Brocken spectre'', by Σ64, [[ja:wikipedia:User:%CE%A364|User:Σ64]] File:Swan in Sunshine - Tierpark Olderdissen.jpg|''Swan in Sunshine - Tierpark Olderdissen'' by Bernd Sieker User:Pinc File:Graincourt, attributed to - Turgot - Versailles MV 3923.jpg|''Graincourt, attributed to - Turgot - Versailles MV 3923'' by Unknown author, Attributed to Antoine Graincourt (1748–1823), photograph by [http://collections.chateauversailles.fr/#c1f54bf2-38c5-4305-8c7b-b334223ec6d7 chateauversailles.fr] File:Marie Curie (1900).jpg|''Portrait of Marie Skłodowska-Curie (7 November 1867 – 4 July 1934)'' by Unknown author, uploaded by [[User:Jarould]] </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] * [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote]] * [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not]] * [[w:Gender Gap|Gender Gap]] on English Wikipedia * Stats [https://w.wiki/mfX w.wiki/mfX] * [[Wikiquote:Neutral point of view]] * [[Wikiquote:Sourced and Unsourced sections]] * [[Wikiquote:Copyrights]] [[:Category:People]] * [[:Category:Themes]] * [[:List of literary works]] * ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] * [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] * [[Marie Curie]] 1c7jdvqofzwqrq4keteklzt8cfkbnum 3942038 3942037 2026-05-17T12:28:13Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Image Credits */ 3942038 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library File:Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations, 1896.djvu|''Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1896) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt, [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL7646132W/The_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL16381468M&mode=all#editions-list OL7646132W] Open Library File:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922).djvu|''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations'' (1922) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt and Kate Louise Roberts [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL18542371W/Hoyt's_New_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL58730533M OL18542371W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario File:Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin.JPG|''Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin'' by Lienhard Schulz [[User:Lienhard Schulz]], with permission of Scholz & Friends Sensai, agency of „Walk of Ideas“ File:Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket - Skoklosters slott - 86262.tif|''Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket'', LSH 86262 (sm_dig4159) , attributed to Skokloster Castle / Jens Mohr / CC BY-SA File:Brocken-tanzawa.JPG|''Brocken spectre'', by Σ64, [[ja:wikipedia:User:%CE%A364|User:Σ64]] File:Swan in Sunshine - Tierpark Olderdissen.jpg|''Swan in Sunshine - Tierpark Olderdissen'' by Bernd Sieker User:Pinc File:Graincourt, attributed to - Turgot - Versailles MV 3923.jpg|''Graincourt, attributed to - Turgot - Versailles MV 3923'' by Unknown author, Attributed to Antoine Graincourt (1748–1823), photograph by [http://collections.chateauversailles.fr/#c1f54bf2-38c5-4305-8c7b-b334223ec6d7 chateauversailles.fr] File:Marie Curie (1900).jpg|''Portrait of Marie Skłodowska-Curie (7 November 1867 – 4 July 1934)'' by Unknown author, uploaded by [[User:Jarould]] File:Pierre and Marie Curie.jpg|''Pierre and Marie Curie'' by Unknown photographer, source hp.ujf.cas.cz, uploaded by [[User:Kuebi]] </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] * [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote]] * [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not]] * [[w:Gender Gap|Gender Gap]] on English Wikipedia * Stats [https://w.wiki/mfX w.wiki/mfX] * [[Wikiquote:Neutral point of view]] * [[Wikiquote:Sourced and Unsourced sections]] * [[Wikiquote:Copyrights]] [[:Category:People]] * [[:Category:Themes]] * [[:List of literary works]] * ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] * [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] * [[Marie Curie]] 3pfv3h0k4b8jujoidfgcxq0i1do7yer 3942039 3942038 2026-05-17T12:29:26Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Image Credits */ 3942039 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library File:Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations, 1896.djvu|''Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1896) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt, [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL7646132W/The_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL16381468M&mode=all#editions-list OL7646132W] Open Library File:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922).djvu|''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations'' (1922) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt and Kate Louise Roberts [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL18542371W/Hoyt's_New_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL58730533M OL18542371W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario File:Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin.JPG|''Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin'' by Lienhard Schulz [[User:Lienhard Schulz]], with permission of Scholz & Friends Sensai, agency of „Walk of Ideas“ File:Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket - Skoklosters slott - 86262.tif|''Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket'', LSH 86262 (sm_dig4159) , attributed to Skokloster Castle / Jens Mohr / CC BY-SA File:Brocken-tanzawa.JPG|''Brocken spectre'', by Σ64, [[ja:wikipedia:User:%CE%A364|User:Σ64]] File:Swan in Sunshine - Tierpark Olderdissen.jpg|''Swan in Sunshine - Tierpark Olderdissen'' by Bernd Sieker User:Pinc File:Graincourt, attributed to - Turgot - Versailles MV 3923.jpg|''Graincourt, attributed to - Turgot - Versailles MV 3923'' by Unknown author, Attributed to Antoine Graincourt (1748–1823), photograph by [http://collections.chateauversailles.fr/#c1f54bf2-38c5-4305-8c7b-b334223ec6d7 chateauversailles.fr] File:Marie Curie (1900).jpg|''Portrait of Marie Skłodowska-Curie (7 November 1867 – 4 July 1934)'' by Unknown author, uploaded by [[User:Jarould]] File:Pierre and Marie Curie.jpg|''Pierre and Marie Curie'' by Unknown photographer, source hp.ujf.cas.cz, uploaded by [[User:Kuebi]] File:Curie-nobel-portrait-2-600.jpg|''Curie-nobel-portrait-2-600'' from Fotograv. - Generalstabens Litografiska Anstalt Stockholm </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] * [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote]] * [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not]] * [[w:Gender Gap|Gender Gap]] on English Wikipedia * Stats [https://w.wiki/mfX w.wiki/mfX] * [[Wikiquote:Neutral point of view]] * [[Wikiquote:Sourced and Unsourced sections]] * [[Wikiquote:Copyrights]] [[:Category:People]] * [[:Category:Themes]] * [[:List of literary works]] * ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] * [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] * [[Marie Curie]] g9hcd6vddjh991nokd5k0ow3rcf0ndg 3942040 3942039 2026-05-17T12:31:19Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Image Credits */ 3942040 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library File:Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations, 1896.djvu|''Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1896) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt, [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL7646132W/The_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL16381468M&mode=all#editions-list OL7646132W] Open Library File:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922).djvu|''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations'' (1922) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt and Kate Louise Roberts [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL18542371W/Hoyt's_New_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL58730533M OL18542371W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario File:Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin.JPG|''Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin'' by Lienhard Schulz [[User:Lienhard Schulz]], with permission of Scholz & Friends Sensai, agency of „Walk of Ideas“ File:Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket - Skoklosters slott - 86262.tif|''Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket'', LSH 86262 (sm_dig4159) , attributed to Skokloster Castle / Jens Mohr / CC BY-SA File:Brocken-tanzawa.JPG|''Brocken spectre'', by Σ64, [[ja:wikipedia:User:%CE%A364|User:Σ64]] File:Swan in Sunshine - Tierpark Olderdissen.jpg|''Swan in Sunshine - Tierpark Olderdissen'' by Bernd Sieker User:Pinc File:Graincourt, attributed to - Turgot - Versailles MV 3923.jpg|''Graincourt, attributed to - Turgot - Versailles MV 3923'' by Unknown author, Attributed to Antoine Graincourt (1748–1823), photograph by [http://collections.chateauversailles.fr/#c1f54bf2-38c5-4305-8c7b-b334223ec6d7 chateauversailles.fr] File:Marie Curie (1900).jpg|''Portrait of Marie Skłodowska-Curie (7 November 1867 – 4 July 1934)'' by Unknown author, uploaded by [[User:Jarould]] File:Pierre and Marie Curie.jpg|''Pierre and Marie Curie'' by Unknown photographer, source hp.ujf.cas.cz, uploaded by [[User:Kuebi]] File:Curie-nobel-portrait-2-600.jpg|''Curie-nobel-portrait-2-600'' from Fotograv. - Generalstabens Litografiska Anstalt Stockholm File:Glory, spectre.jpg|''A solar glory and Brocken spectre from the Golden Gate Bridge.'' photographed by [https://sites.google.com/site/thebrockeninglory/ Brocken Inaglory] </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] * [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote]] * [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not]] * [[w:Gender Gap|Gender Gap]] on English Wikipedia * Stats [https://w.wiki/mfX w.wiki/mfX] * [[Wikiquote:Neutral point of view]] * [[Wikiquote:Sourced and Unsourced sections]] * [[Wikiquote:Copyrights]] [[:Category:People]] * [[:Category:Themes]] * [[:List of literary works]] * ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] * [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] * [[Marie Curie]] artb29q7ba7jru4kuhw00e7x9n9orhl 3942041 3942040 2026-05-17T12:31:46Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Image Credits */ 3942041 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library File:Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations, 1896.djvu|''Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1896) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt, [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL7646132W/The_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL16381468M&mode=all#editions-list OL7646132W] Open Library File:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922).djvu|''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations'' (1922) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt and Kate Louise Roberts [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL18542371W/Hoyt's_New_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL58730533M OL18542371W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario File:Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin.JPG|''Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin'' by Lienhard Schulz [[User:Lienhard Schulz]], with permission of Scholz & Friends Sensai, agency of „Walk of Ideas“ File:Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket - Skoklosters slott - 86262.tif|''Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket'', LSH 86262 (sm_dig4159) , attributed to Skokloster Castle / Jens Mohr / CC BY-SA File:Brocken-tanzawa.JPG|''Brocken spectre'', by Σ64, [[ja:wikipedia:User:%CE%A364|User:Σ64]] File:Swan in Sunshine - Tierpark Olderdissen.jpg|''Swan in Sunshine - Tierpark Olderdissen'' by Bernd Sieker User:Pinc File:Graincourt, attributed to - Turgot - Versailles MV 3923.jpg|''Graincourt, attributed to - Turgot - Versailles MV 3923'' by Unknown author, Attributed to Antoine Graincourt (1748–1823), photograph by [http://collections.chateauversailles.fr/#c1f54bf2-38c5-4305-8c7b-b334223ec6d7 chateauversailles.fr] File:Glory, spectre.jpg|''A solar glory and Brocken spectre from the Golden Gate Bridge.'' photographed by [https://sites.google.com/site/thebrockeninglory/ Brocken Inaglory] File:Marie Curie (1900).jpg|''Portrait of Marie Skłodowska-Curie (7 November 1867 – 4 July 1934)'' by Unknown author, uploaded by [[User:Jarould]] File:Pierre and Marie Curie.jpg|''Pierre and Marie Curie'' by Unknown photographer, source hp.ujf.cas.cz, uploaded by [[User:Kuebi]] File:Curie-nobel-portrait-2-600.jpg|''Curie-nobel-portrait-2-600'' from Fotograv. - Generalstabens Litografiska Anstalt Stockholm </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] * [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote]] * [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not]] * [[w:Gender Gap|Gender Gap]] on English Wikipedia * Stats [https://w.wiki/mfX w.wiki/mfX] * [[Wikiquote:Neutral point of view]] * [[Wikiquote:Sourced and Unsourced sections]] * [[Wikiquote:Copyrights]] [[:Category:People]] * [[:Category:Themes]] * [[:List of literary works]] * ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] * [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] * [[Marie Curie]] 680y3isj4bu6gtz4y7febr0xlnu713o 3942043 3942041 2026-05-17T12:32:06Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Resources */ 3942043 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library File:Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations, 1896.djvu|''Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1896) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt, [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL7646132W/The_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL16381468M&mode=all#editions-list OL7646132W] Open Library File:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922).djvu|''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations'' (1922) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt and Kate Louise Roberts [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL18542371W/Hoyt's_New_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL58730533M OL18542371W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario File:Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin.JPG|''Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin'' by Lienhard Schulz [[User:Lienhard Schulz]], with permission of Scholz & Friends Sensai, agency of „Walk of Ideas“ File:Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket - Skoklosters slott - 86262.tif|''Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket'', LSH 86262 (sm_dig4159) , attributed to Skokloster Castle / Jens Mohr / CC BY-SA File:Brocken-tanzawa.JPG|''Brocken spectre'', by Σ64, [[ja:wikipedia:User:%CE%A364|User:Σ64]] File:Swan in Sunshine - Tierpark Olderdissen.jpg|''Swan in Sunshine - Tierpark Olderdissen'' by Bernd Sieker User:Pinc File:Graincourt, attributed to - Turgot - Versailles MV 3923.jpg|''Graincourt, attributed to - Turgot - Versailles MV 3923'' by Unknown author, Attributed to Antoine Graincourt (1748–1823), photograph by [http://collections.chateauversailles.fr/#c1f54bf2-38c5-4305-8c7b-b334223ec6d7 chateauversailles.fr] File:Glory, spectre.jpg|''A solar glory and Brocken spectre from the Golden Gate Bridge.'' photographed by [https://sites.google.com/site/thebrockeninglory/ Brocken Inaglory] File:Marie Curie (1900).jpg|''Portrait of Marie Skłodowska-Curie (7 November 1867 – 4 July 1934)'' by Unknown author, uploaded by [[User:Jarould]] File:Pierre and Marie Curie.jpg|''Pierre and Marie Curie'' by Unknown photographer, source hp.ujf.cas.cz, uploaded by [[User:Kuebi]] File:Curie-nobel-portrait-2-600.jpg|''Curie-nobel-portrait-2-600'' from Fotograv. - Generalstabens Litografiska Anstalt Stockholm </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] * [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote]] * [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not]] * [[w:Gender Gap|Gender Gap]] on English Wikipedia * Stats [https://w.wiki/mfX w.wiki/mfX] * [[Wikiquote:Neutral point of view]] * [[Wikiquote:Sourced and Unsourced sections]] * [[Wikiquote:Copyrights]] * [[Wikiquote:Quotability]] [[:Category:People]] * [[:Category:Themes]] * [[:List of literary works]] * ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] * [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] * [[Marie Curie]] e9k3uca568be7nmxpo3bpcptzwqykka 3942269 3942043 2026-05-18T10:44:22Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Examples */ 3942269 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library File:Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations, 1896.djvu|''Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1896) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt, [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL7646132W/The_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL16381468M&mode=all#editions-list OL7646132W] Open Library File:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922).djvu|''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations'' (1922) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt and Kate Louise Roberts [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL18542371W/Hoyt's_New_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL58730533M OL18542371W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario File:Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin.JPG|''Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin'' by Lienhard Schulz [[User:Lienhard Schulz]], with permission of Scholz & Friends Sensai, agency of „Walk of Ideas“ File:Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket - Skoklosters slott - 86262.tif|''Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket'', LSH 86262 (sm_dig4159) , attributed to Skokloster Castle / Jens Mohr / CC BY-SA File:Brocken-tanzawa.JPG|''Brocken spectre'', by Σ64, [[ja:wikipedia:User:%CE%A364|User:Σ64]] File:Swan in Sunshine - Tierpark Olderdissen.jpg|''Swan in Sunshine - Tierpark Olderdissen'' by Bernd Sieker User:Pinc File:Graincourt, attributed to - Turgot - Versailles MV 3923.jpg|''Graincourt, attributed to - Turgot - Versailles MV 3923'' by Unknown author, Attributed to Antoine Graincourt (1748–1823), photograph by [http://collections.chateauversailles.fr/#c1f54bf2-38c5-4305-8c7b-b334223ec6d7 chateauversailles.fr] File:Glory, spectre.jpg|''A solar glory and Brocken spectre from the Golden Gate Bridge.'' photographed by [https://sites.google.com/site/thebrockeninglory/ Brocken Inaglory] File:Marie Curie (1900).jpg|''Portrait of Marie Skłodowska-Curie (7 November 1867 – 4 July 1934)'' by Unknown author, uploaded by [[User:Jarould]] File:Pierre and Marie Curie.jpg|''Pierre and Marie Curie'' by Unknown photographer, source hp.ujf.cas.cz, uploaded by [[User:Kuebi]] File:Curie-nobel-portrait-2-600.jpg|''Curie-nobel-portrait-2-600'' from Fotograv. - Generalstabens Litografiska Anstalt Stockholm </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] * [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote]] * [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not]] * [[w:Gender Gap|Gender Gap]] on English Wikipedia * Stats [https://w.wiki/mfX w.wiki/mfX] * [[Wikiquote:Neutral point of view]] * [[Wikiquote:Sourced and Unsourced sections]] * [[Wikiquote:Copyrights]] * [[Wikiquote:Quotability]] [[:Category:People]] * [[:Category:Themes]] * [[:List of literary works]] * ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] * [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] * [[Marie Curie]] * [[Benjamin Franklin]] * [[Dreams]] g50wj31lt4n4kmlml2a1k5op16uebmk 3942270 3942269 2026-05-18T10:44:39Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Resources */ 3942270 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library File:Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations, 1896.djvu|''Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1896) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt, [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL7646132W/The_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL16381468M&mode=all#editions-list OL7646132W] Open Library File:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922).djvu|''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations'' (1922) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt and Kate Louise Roberts [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL18542371W/Hoyt's_New_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL58730533M OL18542371W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario File:Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin.JPG|''Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin'' by Lienhard Schulz [[User:Lienhard Schulz]], with permission of Scholz & Friends Sensai, agency of „Walk of Ideas“ File:Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket - Skoklosters slott - 86262.tif|''Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket'', LSH 86262 (sm_dig4159) , attributed to Skokloster Castle / Jens Mohr / CC BY-SA File:Brocken-tanzawa.JPG|''Brocken spectre'', by Σ64, [[ja:wikipedia:User:%CE%A364|User:Σ64]] File:Swan in Sunshine - Tierpark Olderdissen.jpg|''Swan in Sunshine - Tierpark Olderdissen'' by Bernd Sieker User:Pinc File:Graincourt, attributed to - Turgot - Versailles MV 3923.jpg|''Graincourt, attributed to - Turgot - Versailles MV 3923'' by Unknown author, Attributed to Antoine Graincourt (1748–1823), photograph by [http://collections.chateauversailles.fr/#c1f54bf2-38c5-4305-8c7b-b334223ec6d7 chateauversailles.fr] File:Glory, spectre.jpg|''A solar glory and Brocken spectre from the Golden Gate Bridge.'' photographed by [https://sites.google.com/site/thebrockeninglory/ Brocken Inaglory] File:Marie Curie (1900).jpg|''Portrait of Marie Skłodowska-Curie (7 November 1867 – 4 July 1934)'' by Unknown author, uploaded by [[User:Jarould]] File:Pierre and Marie Curie.jpg|''Pierre and Marie Curie'' by Unknown photographer, source hp.ujf.cas.cz, uploaded by [[User:Kuebi]] File:Curie-nobel-portrait-2-600.jpg|''Curie-nobel-portrait-2-600'' from Fotograv. - Generalstabens Litografiska Anstalt Stockholm </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] * [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote]] * [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not]] * [[w:Gender Gap|Gender Gap]] on English Wikipedia * Stats [https://w.wiki/mfX w.wiki/mfX] * [[Wikiquote:Neutral point of view]] * [[Wikiquote:Sourced and Unsourced sections]] * [[Wikiquote:Copyrights]] * [[Wikiquote:Quotability]] * [[Wikiquote:Manual of Style]] [[:Category:People]] * [[:Category:Themes]] * [[:List of literary works]] * ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] * [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] * [[Marie Curie]] * [[Benjamin Franklin]] * [[Dreams]] srmr0vko93yi5ca7h1c05vnllh1us7n 3942272 3942270 2026-05-18T10:46:04Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Resources */ 3942272 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library File:Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations, 1896.djvu|''Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1896) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt, [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL7646132W/The_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL16381468M&mode=all#editions-list OL7646132W] Open Library File:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922).djvu|''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations'' (1922) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt and Kate Louise Roberts [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL18542371W/Hoyt's_New_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL58730533M OL18542371W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario File:Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin.JPG|''Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin'' by Lienhard Schulz [[User:Lienhard Schulz]], with permission of Scholz & Friends Sensai, agency of „Walk of Ideas“ File:Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket - Skoklosters slott - 86262.tif|''Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket'', LSH 86262 (sm_dig4159) , attributed to Skokloster Castle / Jens Mohr / CC BY-SA File:Brocken-tanzawa.JPG|''Brocken spectre'', by Σ64, [[ja:wikipedia:User:%CE%A364|User:Σ64]] File:Swan in Sunshine - Tierpark Olderdissen.jpg|''Swan in Sunshine - Tierpark Olderdissen'' by Bernd Sieker User:Pinc File:Graincourt, attributed to - Turgot - Versailles MV 3923.jpg|''Graincourt, attributed to - Turgot - Versailles MV 3923'' by Unknown author, Attributed to Antoine Graincourt (1748–1823), photograph by [http://collections.chateauversailles.fr/#c1f54bf2-38c5-4305-8c7b-b334223ec6d7 chateauversailles.fr] File:Glory, spectre.jpg|''A solar glory and Brocken spectre from the Golden Gate Bridge.'' photographed by [https://sites.google.com/site/thebrockeninglory/ Brocken Inaglory] File:Marie Curie (1900).jpg|''Portrait of Marie Skłodowska-Curie (7 November 1867 – 4 July 1934)'' by Unknown author, uploaded by [[User:Jarould]] File:Pierre and Marie Curie.jpg|''Pierre and Marie Curie'' by Unknown photographer, source hp.ujf.cas.cz, uploaded by [[User:Kuebi]] File:Curie-nobel-portrait-2-600.jpg|''Curie-nobel-portrait-2-600'' from Fotograv. - Generalstabens Litografiska Anstalt Stockholm </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] * [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote]] * [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not]] * [[w:Gender Gap|Gender Gap]] on English Wikipedia * Stats [https://w.wiki/mfX w.wiki/mfX] * [[Wikiquote:Neutral point of view]] * [[Wikiquote:Sourced and Unsourced sections]] * [[Wikiquote:Copyrights]] * [[Wikiquote:Quotability]] * [[Wikiquote:Manual of Style]] * [[Wikiquote:Templates]] [[:Category:People]] * [[:Category:Themes]] * [[:List of literary works]] * ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] * [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] * [[Marie Curie]] * [[Benjamin Franklin]] * [[Dreams]] 6p9eskqqbueabvoolcji51lgraiyj8w 3942274 3942272 2026-05-18T10:58:51Z DutchTreat 369818 /* Image Credits */ 3942274 wikitext text/x-wiki ==Credits== ===Works=== <gallery> File:WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign.pdf|Presentation "WDG - Editing Wikiquote with SheSaid campaign" by Cameli Boban [[User:Camelia.boban]] File:The Friends of Voltaire.png|''Friends of Voltaire'' (1906) at [https://openlibrary.org/books/OL14008794M/The_friends_of_Voltaire OL1093958W] Open Library File:Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations, 1896.djvu|''Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations'' (1896) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt, [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL7646132W/The_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL16381468M&mode=all#editions-list OL7646132W] Open Library File:Hoyt's New Cyclopedia Of Practical Quotations (1922).djvu|''Hoyt's New Cyclopedia of Practical Quotations'' (1922) by Jehiel Keeler Hoyt and Kate Louise Roberts [https://openlibrary.org/works/OL18542371W/Hoyt's_New_cyclopedia_of_practical_quotations?edition=key%3A/books/OL58730533M OL18542371W] Open Library </gallery> ===Image Credits=== <gallery> File:Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster.png|''Wikimedia Kenya Community SheSaid Poster'' by [[User:FaithMwanyolo]] File:SheSaid 2025 Poster.png|''SheSaid 2025 Poster'' by Afek Ben Chahed [[User:Afek91]] File:Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants.jpg|''Nairobi 2021 Shesaid Participants'' by Caroline Mwaura [[User:Cmwaura]] File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi closing ceremony'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1.jpg|''SheSaid 2021 Nairobi award ceremony 1'' by Dorah Malemba Mwanyolo User:FaithMwanyolo File:A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye.jpg|''A young Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Catherine Kasavuli.jpg|''Catherine Kasavuli'' by ''Business Today Reporter'', , uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:Effie Owuor.jpg|''Effie Owuor'' by ''Unknown author'', uploaded by User:DorahMalemba File:Future Affairs Berlin 2019 - „Digital Revolution Resetting Global Power Politics?“ (47959582287).jpg|''Speakerin: Nanjala Nyabola'' by Dominik Butzmann / [https://www.flickr.com/people/36976328@N04 re:publica] File:Muthoni Gachanja Likimani.jpg|''An image of the young Muthoni Gachanja Likimani'' by Unknown author, uploaded by User:FaithMwanyolo File:1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword.jpg|''1896 Alfred-Pierre Agache - The Sword'' by Alfred Agache (1843–1915) from collection Art Gallery of Ontario File:Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin.JPG|''Printing3 Walk of Ideas Berlin'' by Lienhard Schulz [[User:Lienhard Schulz]], with permission of Scholz & Friends Sensai, agency of „Walk of Ideas“ File:Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket - Skoklosters slott - 86262.tif|''Biblioteket. Hylla med böcker. Interiör, detalj. Bokhylla. Schefferbiblioteket'', LSH 86262 (sm_dig4159) , attributed to Skokloster Castle / Jens Mohr / CC BY-SA File:Brocken-tanzawa.JPG|''Brocken spectre'', by Σ64, [[ja:wikipedia:User:%CE%A364|User:Σ64]] File:Swan in Sunshine - Tierpark Olderdissen.jpg|''Swan in Sunshine - Tierpark Olderdissen'' by Bernd Sieker User:Pinc File:Graincourt, attributed to - Turgot - Versailles MV 3923.jpg|''Graincourt, attributed to - Turgot - Versailles MV 3923'' by Unknown author, Attributed to Antoine Graincourt (1748–1823), photograph by [http://collections.chateauversailles.fr/#c1f54bf2-38c5-4305-8c7b-b334223ec6d7 chateauversailles.fr] File:Glory, spectre.jpg|''A solar glory and Brocken spectre from the Golden Gate Bridge.'' photographed by [https://sites.google.com/site/thebrockeninglory/ Brocken Inaglory] File:Marie Curie (1900).jpg|''Portrait of Marie Skłodowska-Curie (7 November 1867 – 4 July 1934)'' by Unknown author, uploaded by [[User:Jarould]] File:Pierre and Marie Curie.jpg|''Pierre and Marie Curie'' by Unknown photographer, source hp.ujf.cas.cz, uploaded by [[User:Kuebi]] File:Curie-nobel-portrait-2-600.jpg|''Curie-nobel-portrait-2-600'' from Fotograv. - Generalstabens Litografiska Anstalt Stockholm File:Ngozi Okonjo-Iwela SheSaid flyer.png|''Ngozi Okonjo-Iwela SheSaid campaign flyer'' by Bashir [[User:Uncle Bash007]] File:Shesaid 2024 Event In Nigeria Project Overview flyer.jpg|''Shesaid 2024 flyer'' by Akintunde Daniel [[User:Akintundedaniel]] </gallery> ==Resources== [[Help:Contents]] * [[Wikiquote:Wikiquote]] * [[Wikiquote:What Wikiquote is not]] * [[w:Gender Gap|Gender Gap]] on English Wikipedia * Stats [https://w.wiki/mfX w.wiki/mfX] * [[Wikiquote:Neutral point of view]] * [[Wikiquote:Sourced and Unsourced sections]] * [[Wikiquote:Copyrights]] * [[Wikiquote:Quotability]] * [[Wikiquote:Manual of Style]] * [[Wikiquote:Templates]] [[:Category:People]] * [[:Category:Themes]] * [[:List of literary works]] * ==Examples== [[Catherine Kasavuli]] * [[Effie Owuor]] * [[Marjorie Oludhe Macgoye]] * [[Nanjala Nyabola]] * [[Muthoni Likimani]] * [[Evelyn Beatrice Hall]] * [[Marie Curie]] * [[Benjamin Franklin]] * [[Dreams]] 6njxg4ve7567dk455b51afb97ojal3e 2 307387 3942055 2026-05-17T13:46:15Z Afriquedem 3323460 Wikiquote Entry in BG 3942055 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Yordan Terziyski (47NS) 2021 (cropped).png|thumb|Yordan Terziyski ]] '''Йордан Ивов Терзийски''' е български архитект и политик от „Продължаваме промяната“ центристка, антикорупционна политическа партия. Народен представител (България)|Народен представителв XLVII народно събрание.<ref name=":0">[https://www.parliament.bg/bg/MP/3835 Информация в сайта на Народното събрание]</ref> ===Интервю в Янтра ЛайвДнес 5 април 2026=== <small>[https://www.dnesbg.com/pari-i-vlast/arh-yordan-terziyski-koruptsiyata-se-bori-s-realni-deystviya-a-ne-s-prazni-prikazki.html Online text]</small> Корупцията се бори с реални действия, а не с празни приказки. „Корупцията може да бъде унищожена само с работещи институции и личности, които са доказали, че имат знанията и волята да проведат битката и няма да се поддадат на натиск. Устояхме на политическите репресии срещу наши кметове и общински съветници, които без присъди лежаха месеци наред в арестите. Устояхме на медийните атаки и грозните манипулации, целящи да убият енергията на протестите, с които ние, заедно с всички разгневени българи, успяхме да свалим корупционното правителство. Ще устоим и сега на прегрупирането на олигархията и ще довършим започнатото, като спрем безобразията в България“, заяви арх. Йордан Терзийски – водач на листата на коалиция „Продължаваме промяната – Демократична България“ за МИР 4 Велико Търново. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- <small>[https://www.dnesbg.com/pari-i-vlast/arh-yordan-terziyski-koruptsiyata-se-bori-s-realni-deystviya-a-ne-s-prazni-prikazki.html Online text]</small> „Корупцията не трябва просто да се демонтира, за да бъде монтирана отново, както планира прегрупиращата се олигархия. Тя трябва да бъде изкоренена и унищожена. Българите заявиха ясно, че не искат Борисов и Пеевски във властта, не искат фалшиви герои-спасители, а искат да живеят в свободна, справедлива и богата държава“, допълни арх. Терзийски. ==External Links== 8vro2yfliliwdlfgivn322qtszyq4ni 3942063 3942055 2026-05-17T13:53:36Z Afriquedem 3323460 Външни връзки 3942063 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Yordan Terziyski (47NS) 2021 (cropped).png|thumb|Yordan Terziyski ]] '''Йордан Ивов Терзийски''' е български архитект и политик от „Продължаваме промяната“ центристка, антикорупционна политическа партия. Народен представител (България)|Народен представителв XLVII народно събрание.<ref name=":0">[https://www.parliament.bg/bg/MP/3835 Информация в сайта на Народното събрание]</ref> ===Интервю в Янтра ЛайвДнес 5 април 2026=== <small>[https://www.dnesbg.com/pari-i-vlast/arh-yordan-terziyski-koruptsiyata-se-bori-s-realni-deystviya-a-ne-s-prazni-prikazki.html Online text]</small> Корупцията се бори с реални действия, а не с празни приказки. „Корупцията може да бъде унищожена само с работещи институции и личности, които са доказали, че имат знанията и волята да проведат битката и няма да се поддадат на натиск. Устояхме на политическите репресии срещу наши кметове и общински съветници, които без присъди лежаха месеци наред в арестите. Устояхме на медийните атаки и грозните манипулации, целящи да убият енергията на протестите, с които ние, заедно с всички разгневени българи, успяхме да свалим корупционното правителство. Ще устоим и сега на прегрупирането на олигархията и ще довършим започнатото, като спрем безобразията в България“, заяви арх. Йордан Терзийски – водач на листата на коалиция „Продължаваме промяната – Демократична България“ за МИР 4 Велико Търново. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- <small>[https://www.dnesbg.com/pari-i-vlast/arh-yordan-terziyski-koruptsiyata-se-bori-s-realni-deystviya-a-ne-s-prazni-prikazki.html Online text]</small> „Корупцията не трябва просто да се демонтира, за да бъде монтирана отново, както планира прегрупиращата се олигархия. Тя трябва да бъде изкоренена и унищожена. Българите заявиха ясно, че не искат Борисов и Пеевски във властта, не искат фалшиви герои-спасители, а искат да живеят в свободна, справедлива и богата държава“, допълни арх. Терзийски. ==Външни връзки== {{Wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Terziyski, Yordan Ivov}} fj4lvjyouzd4zfod5hvfazhg42vvfqv 3942212 3942063 2026-05-17T23:27:57Z PieWriter 3267587 PieWriter moved page [[Йордан Ивов Терзийски]] to [[User:Afriquedem/Йордан Ивов Терзийски]] without leaving a redirect: wrong language 3942063 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Yordan Terziyski (47NS) 2021 (cropped).png|thumb|Yordan Terziyski ]] '''Йордан Ивов Терзийски''' е български архитект и политик от „Продължаваме промяната“ центристка, антикорупционна политическа партия. Народен представител (България)|Народен представителв XLVII народно събрание.<ref name=":0">[https://www.parliament.bg/bg/MP/3835 Информация в сайта на Народното събрание]</ref> ===Интервю в Янтра ЛайвДнес 5 април 2026=== <small>[https://www.dnesbg.com/pari-i-vlast/arh-yordan-terziyski-koruptsiyata-se-bori-s-realni-deystviya-a-ne-s-prazni-prikazki.html Online text]</small> Корупцията се бори с реални действия, а не с празни приказки. „Корупцията може да бъде унищожена само с работещи институции и личности, които са доказали, че имат знанията и волята да проведат битката и няма да се поддадат на натиск. Устояхме на политическите репресии срещу наши кметове и общински съветници, които без присъди лежаха месеци наред в арестите. Устояхме на медийните атаки и грозните манипулации, целящи да убият енергията на протестите, с които ние, заедно с всички разгневени българи, успяхме да свалим корупционното правителство. Ще устоим и сега на прегрупирането на олигархията и ще довършим започнатото, като спрем безобразията в България“, заяви арх. Йордан Терзийски – водач на листата на коалиция „Продължаваме промяната – Демократична България“ за МИР 4 Велико Търново. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- <small>[https://www.dnesbg.com/pari-i-vlast/arh-yordan-terziyski-koruptsiyata-se-bori-s-realni-deystviya-a-ne-s-prazni-prikazki.html Online text]</small> „Корупцията не трябва просто да се демонтира, за да бъде монтирана отново, както планира прегрупиращата се олигархия. Тя трябва да бъде изкоренена и унищожена. Българите заявиха ясно, че не искат Борисов и Пеевски във властта, не искат фалшиви герои-спасители, а искат да живеят в свободна, справедлива и богата държава“, допълни арх. Терзийски. ==Външни връзки== {{Wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Terziyski, Yordan Ivov}} fj4lvjyouzd4zfod5hvfazhg42vvfqv 0 307388 3942057 2026-05-17T13:47:55Z Suslindisambiguator 275269 created page with 3 quotes 3942057 wikitext text/x-wiki '''{{w|Samuel Langley|Samuel Pierpont Langley}}''' (August 22, 1834 &ndash; February 27, 1906) was an American {{w|aviation}} pioneer, [[astronomer]], [[physicist]], inventor of the {{w|bolometer}}, founder of the {{w|Smithsonian Astrophysical Observatory}}, and [https://siarchives.si.edu/history/secretaries-smithsonian secetrary of Smithsonian Institution from 1887 to 1906]. He was elected in 1875 to the {{w|American Philosophical Society}} and in 1876 to the U.S. {{w|National Academy of Sciences}}. Langley was awarded in 1886 both the {{w|Rumford Medal}} and the {{w|Henry Draper Medal}} and in 1893 the {{w|Janssen Medal (French Academy of Sciences)|Janssen Medal}}. ==Quotes== * ... With rare exceptions, the backward steps—that is, the [[error]]s and [[mistakes]], which count in reality for nearly half, and sometimes for more than half, the whole—are left out of [[History of science|scientific history]]; and the reader, while he knows that mistakes have been made, has no just idea how intimately error and [[truth]] are mingled in a sort of chemical union, even in the work of the great discoverers, and how it is the test of time chiefly,—which enables us to say which ''is'' [[progress]], when the man himself could not. If this be a [[:wiktionary:truism|truism]], it is one which is often forgotten, and which we shall do well to here keep before us. ** {{cite book|year=1888|title=Address of S.P. Langley: President of the American Association for the Advancement of Science, delivered at the Cleveland meeting, August 1888|publisher=Salem Press|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=D9gEAAAAYAAJ&pg=PA2|page=2–3}} (23 pages, address delivered as retiring president) * I have now been engaged since the beginning of the year 1887 in [[experiment]]s on an extended scale for determining the possibility of, and the conditions for, transporting in the air a body whose {{w|Relative density|specific gravity}} is greater than the [[air]], and I desire to repost my conviction that the obstacles in its way are not such as have been thought; that they lie more in such apparently difficulties as those {{w|Guidance, navigation and control|guiding the body so that it may move in the direction desired}}, and {{w|Takeoff and landing|ascend or descend with safety}}, than in what may appear to be the primary difficulties due to the nature of the air itself, and that in my opinion the evidence for this is now sufficiently complete to engage the serious attention of {{w|engineer}}s to the practical solution of these secondary difficulties, and to the development of an art of mechanical flight which will bring with it a change in many of the conditions of individual and national existence whose importance can hardly be estimated. ** {{cite book|title=Experiments in aerodynamics|series=Vol. 801, Smithsonian Contributions to Knowledge|publisher=Smithsonian institution|edition=1st|year=1891|url=https://books.google.com/books/about/Experiments_in_Aerodynamics.html?id=vxtRAAAAYAAJ&pg=PA4|page=4}} (115 pages) * Physical {{w|astronomer}}s, armed with new methods and perfected appliances, are helping us to a view of the progress of creation, from its beginning in the {{w|nebula}}, which must interest every student of nature. But however much our attention is aroused by the purely scientific aspect of such general studies, we must, it seems to me, consider, in the case I have now to present, ''utility'', even before abstract interest. I refer to the study of the [[Sun]], for though the most unformed nebula may hold the germs of future worlds, yet for us these possibilities are but interesting conjectures. For, as I have said elsewhere, I recognize that every nebula might be wiped out of the sky tonight without affecting the price of a laborer's dinner, while a small change in the solar radiation may conceivably cause the deaths of numberless men in an Indian famine. ** {{cite journal|title=The "Solar Constant" and Related Problems|volume=17|issue=2|date=March 1903|journal=The Astrophysical Journal|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=7oQRAAAAYAAJ&pg=PA89|pages=89–99}} (quote from p. 89) ==External links== * {{wikipedia-inline}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Langley, Samuel}} [[Category:1834 births]] [[Category:1906 deaths]] [[Category:Academics from the United States]] [[Category:Aerospace engineers from the United States]] [[Category:Astronomers from the United States]] [[Category:Inventors]] [[Category:Members of the American Philosophical Society]] [[Category:Members of the United States Academy of Sciences]] [[Category:Physicists from the United States]] [[Category:Scientists from Boston]] [[Category:Scientists from Pittsburgh]] 0wa5od1mvmr3hep6ei6bygxapnc248n 3942084 3942057 2026-05-17T15:20:23Z Suslindisambiguator 275269 added section == Quotes about Samuel Pierpont Langley== with quote from C. D. Walcott 3942084 wikitext text/x-wiki '''{{w|Samuel Langley|Samuel Pierpont Langley}}''' (August 22, 1834 &ndash; February 27, 1906) was an American {{w|aviation}} pioneer, [[astronomer]], [[physicist]], inventor of the {{w|bolometer}}, founder of the {{w|Smithsonian Astrophysical Observatory}}, and [https://siarchives.si.edu/history/secretaries-smithsonian secretary of the Smithsonian Institution from 1887 to 1906]. He was elected in 1875 to the {{w|American Philosophical Society}} and in 1876 to the U.S. {{w|National Academy of Sciences}}. Langley was awarded in 1886 both the {{w|Rumford Medal}} and the {{w|Henry Draper Medal}} and in 1893 the {{w|Janssen Medal (French Academy of Sciences)|Janssen Medal}}. ==Quotes== * ... With rare exceptions, the backward steps—that is, the [[error]]s and [[mistakes]], which count in reality for nearly half, and sometimes for more than half, the whole—are left out of [[History of science|scientific history]]; and the reader, while he knows that mistakes have been made, has no just idea how intimately error and [[truth]] are mingled in a sort of chemical union, even in the work of the great discoverers, and how it is the test of time chiefly,—which enables us to say which ''is'' [[progress]], when the man himself could not. If this be a [[:wiktionary:truism|truism]], it is one which is often forgotten, and which we shall do well to here keep before us. ** {{cite book|year=1888|title=Address of S.P. Langley: President of the American Association for the Advancement of Science, delivered at the Cleveland meeting, August 1888|publisher=Salem Press|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=D9gEAAAAYAAJ&pg=PA2|page=2–3}} (23 pages, address delivered as retiring president) * I have now been engaged since the beginning of the year 1887 in [[experiment]]s on an extended scale for determining the possibility of, and the conditions for, transporting in the air a body whose {{w|Relative density|specific gravity}} is greater than the [[air]], and I desire to repost my conviction that the obstacles in its way are not such as have been thought; that they lie more in such apparently difficulties as those {{w|Guidance, navigation and control|guiding the body so that it may move in the direction desired}}, and {{w|Takeoff and landing|ascend or descend with safety}}, than in what may appear to be the primary difficulties due to the nature of the air itself, and that in my opinion the evidence for this is now sufficiently complete to engage the serious attention of {{w|engineer}}s to the practical solution of these secondary difficulties, and to the development of an art of mechanical flight which will bring with it a change in many of the conditions of individual and national existence whose importance can hardly be estimated. ** {{cite book|title=Experiments in aerodynamics|series=Vol. 801, Smithsonian Contributions to Knowledge|publisher=Smithsonian institution|edition=1st|year=1891|url=https://books.google.com/books/about/Experiments_in_Aerodynamics.html?id=vxtRAAAAYAAJ&pg=PA4|page=4}} (115 pages) * Physical {{w|astronomer}}s, armed with new methods and perfected appliances, are helping us to a view of the progress of creation, from its beginning in the {{w|nebula}}, which must interest every student of nature. But however much our attention is aroused by the purely scientific aspect of such general studies, we must, it seems to me, consider, in the case I have now to present, ''utility'', even before abstract interest. I refer to the study of the [[Sun]], for though the most unformed nebula may hold the germs of future worlds, yet for us these possibilities are but interesting conjectures. For, as I have said elsewhere, I recognize that every nebula might be wiped out of the sky tonight without affecting the price of a laborer's dinner, while a small change in the solar radiation may conceivably cause the deaths of numberless men in an Indian famine. ** {{cite journal|title=The "Solar Constant" and Related Problems|volume=17|issue=2|date=March 1903|journal=The Astrophysical Journal|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=7oQRAAAAYAAJ&pg=PA89|pages=89–99}} (quote from p. 89) ==Quotes about Samuel Pierpont Langley== * In 1869, 1870, 1878 and 1900 he observed the total {{w|Solar eclipse|eclipse of the sun}}, and his account of the {{w|Solar eclipse of July 29, 1878|eclipse of 1878}} from {{w|Pikes Peak}} is particularly notable.<br>... From 1878 to 1880 he was engaged in various attempts to devise a more perfect instrument for measuring {{w|Thermal radiation|radiation}}, and he succeeded at length in the invention of the {{w|bolometer}}, an instrument in world-wide use. With this instrument, essentially an electrical thermometer on the {{w|Wheatstone bridge|Wheatstone's bridge}} principle, changes of {{w|temperature}} of less than the hundred-thousandth of a degree Centigrade are measured; and by special installation, differences in temperature amounting to one-billionth of a degree may be detected. ** {{w|Charles Doolittle Walcott}}, {{cite book|chapter=Biographical Memoir of Samuel Pierpont Langley, 1834-1906|series=Vol. 7, Biographical Memoirs of the National Academy of Sciences (NAS)|publisher=U.S. National Academy of Sciences|year=1912|chapter-url=https://books.google.com/books?&id=nbAaAAAAYAAJ&pg=PA249|pages=245–268}} (quote from p. 249; memoir presented to the autumn 1911 meeting of the NAS) ==External links== * {{wikipedia-inline}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Langley, Samuel}} [[Category:1834 births]] [[Category:1906 deaths]] [[Category:Academics from the United States]] [[Category:Aerospace engineers from the United States]] [[Category:Astronomers from the United States]] [[Category:Inventors]] [[Category:Members of the American Philosophical Society]] [[Category:Members of the United States Academy of Sciences]] [[Category:Physicists from the United States]] [[Category:Scientists from Boston]] [[Category:Scientists from Pittsburgh]] n9lnd7okzi2ramw687h6jndftdvjr5c 10 307389 3942076 2026-05-17T14:42:30Z Codename Noreste 3154048 + 3942076 wikitext text/x-wiki {{Uses TemplateStyles|Template:Talk header/styles.css}} This [[Wikiquote:Template messages|template]] is designed to be used on any [[Wikiquote:Talk page|talk page]], to provide: * A short introduction and appropriate links for newcomers * A reminder of policy to experienced Wikiquotians everytime they visit the page This template should be ''used only when needed''. Acculturation can't be forced, and it can be overdone. If the message is on every talk page, its impact will be reduced. This template is a [[w:WP:SELF|self-reference]]. ==See also== * [[Wikiquote:Template messages]] * [[w:Wikipedia:Template messages/Talk namespace]] * [[MediaWiki:Talkpagetext]] <includeonly> [[Category:General talk header templates|{{1|{{{PAGENAME}}}}}]] </includeonly> rfhcsqt6a56icao2gzkuizjarywgv84 0 307390 3942079 2026-05-17T15:03:07Z Gilldragon 2514030 Created page with "'''[[w:Peter Joseph Arnoudt|Peter Joseph Arnoudt]]''' (7 May 1811 – 29 July 1865) was a Belgian Jesuit priest. == Quotes == *Different persons are edified and moved by different examples : thus a religious is wont to know better, and to study more, the lives of the Saints of his Order; and they that live in the world and strive to serve God, feel more devotion to those Saints whose example seems better adapted to themselves. ** [https://archive.org/details/imitationo..." 3942079 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Peter Joseph Arnoudt|Peter Joseph Arnoudt]]''' (7 May 1811 – 29 July 1865) was a Belgian Jesuit priest. == Quotes == *Different persons are edified and moved by different examples : thus a religious is wont to know better, and to study more, the lives of the Saints of his Order; and they that live in the world and strive to serve God, feel more devotion to those Saints whose example seems better adapted to themselves. ** [https://archive.org/details/imitationofsacre00arno/page/13 ''Imitation of the Sacred Heart of Jesus'' (1865)] == External links == {{Wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Arnoudt, Peter Joseph}} [[Category:1811 births]] [[Category:Catholics from Belgium]] [[Category:Roman Catholic priests]] [[Category:Jesuits]] [[Category:1865 deaths]] n9tv97tfs7vyah5ttf49on065atoo38 3942080 3942079 2026-05-17T15:07:09Z Gilldragon 2514030 corrected birthdate 3942080 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Peter Joseph Arnoudt|Peter Joseph Arnoudt]]''' (17 May 1811 – 29 July 1865) was a Belgian Jesuit priest. == Quotes == *Different persons are edified and moved by different examples : thus a religious is wont to know better, and to study more, the lives of the Saints of his Order; and they that live in the world and strive to serve God, feel more devotion to those Saints whose example seems better adapted to themselves. ** [https://archive.org/details/imitationofsacre00arno/page/13 ''Imitation of the Sacred Heart of Jesus'' (1865)] == External links == {{Wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Arnoudt, Peter Joseph}} [[Category:1811 births]] [[Category:Catholics from Belgium]] [[Category:Roman Catholic priests]] [[Category:Jesuits]] [[Category:1865 deaths]] 7op0xv0r7l11zfrd5otl0z4gsa91ldb 0 307391 3942081 2026-05-17T15:15:57Z Ficaia 3085955 Created page with "'''[[w:Ludovico di Varthema|Ludovico di Varthema]]''', also known as '''Barthema''' and '''Vertomannus''' (c. 1470 – 1517), was an Italian traveller, diarist and aristocrat known for being one of the first non-Muslim Europeans to enter Mecca as a pilgrim. Nearly everything that is known about his life comes from his own account of his travels, ''Itinerario de Ludouico de Varthema Bolognese'', published in Rome in 1510. == Quotes == === ''Itinerario de Ludouico de Var..." 3942081 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Ludovico di Varthema|Ludovico di Varthema]]''', also known as '''Barthema''' and '''Vertomannus''' (c. 1470 – 1517), was an Italian traveller, diarist and aristocrat known for being one of the first non-Muslim Europeans to enter Mecca as a pilgrim. Nearly everything that is known about his life comes from his own account of his travels, ''Itinerario de Ludouico de Varthema Bolognese'', published in Rome in 1510. == Quotes == === ''Itinerario de Ludouico de Varthema Bolognese'' (1510) === * [[Mahomet]] was captain, and he was an Arab. Haly was son-in-law of Mahomet, that is, he was the husband of Fatoma, who was the daughter of Mahomet. Babacher was he of whom we should say that he was cardinal, and wanted to be pope. Othman was one of his captains. Aumar was another of his captains. And these said books treat about each of his people, that is, of the said captains; and, on this account it is that this ''canaille'' cut each other to pieces, for some wish to act according to the commandments of one, and some of another, and thus they do not know how to make up their minds; and they kill each other like beasts about these heresies, for they are all false. ** "The Book Concerning Arabia Deserta", "The Chapter Concerning Where Mahomet and His Companions Were Buried" (tr. John Winter Jones, 1863, pp. 27–28) * [[w:Gujarati people|Guzerati]] are a certain race which eats nothing that has blood, and never kills any living thing. And these same people are neither Moors nor heathens. It is my opinion that if they were baptized, they would all be saved by virtue of their works, for they never do to others what they would not that others should do unto them. Their dress is this: some wear a shirt, and some go naked, with the exception of a piece of cloth about their middle, having nothing on their feet or on their legs. On their heads they wear a large red cloth; and they are of a tawny colour. And for this, their goodness, the aforesaid sultan <nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Mahmud Begada|Machamuth]]<nowiki>]</nowiki> took from them their kingdom. ** "The First Book Concerning India", "The Chapter Concerning the Estate of the Sultan of the Very Noble City of Combeia" (tr. Jones, pp. 108–109) * The Moorish Cadi held a council with all the Moorish merchants, amongst whom were collected one hundred ducats, which they carried to the king of the Gioghi, who was at that time in Calicut with three thousand Gioghi, to whom the said Moors said: "Sir, thou knowest that in other years when thou hast come here we have shown thee much kindness, and more honour than we show thee now; the reason is this: there are here two Christians who are enemies of our faith and yours, who inform the Portuguese of all that is done in this country; wherefore, we beseech thee to kill them, and to take these hundred ducats." The king of the Gioghi immediately sent two hundred men to kill the said wo Christians, and when they went to their house, they began by tens to sound their horns and demand alms. And when the Christians saw so many people increasing they said: "These want something else besides alms;" and began to fight, so that these two killed six of them, and wounded more than forty. At last, these Gioghi cast at them certain pieces of iron which are made round like a wheel, and they threw them with a sling, and struck Ioan-Maria on the head and Pietro Antonio on the head, so that they fell to the ground; and then they ran upon them and cut open the veins of their throats, and with their hands they drank their blood. ** "The Third Book Concerning India", "The Chapter Showing How I Escaped from Canonor to the Portuguese" (tr. Jones, pp. 273–274) * All this fleet was two hundred and nine sail, of which eighty-four were large ships, and the remainder were rowing vessels, that is, ''paraos''. In which fleet there was an infinite number of armed Moors; and they wore certain red garments of cloth stuffed with cotton, and they wore certain large caps stuffed, and also on the arms bracelets and gloves stuffed; and a great number of bows and lances, swords and shields, and large and small artillery after our custom. When we saw this fleet, ... truly, seeing so many ships together, it appeared as though one saw a very large wood. We Christians always hoped that God would aid us to confound the Pagan faith. And the most valiant knight, the captain of the fleet, son of Don Francisco dal Meda, Viceroy of India, was here with eleven ships, amongst which there were two galleys and one brigantine. When he saw such a multitude of ships, he acted like a most valiant captain: he called to him all his knights and men of the said ships, and then began to exhort and beseech them that, for the love of God and of the Christian faith, they would expose themselves willingly to suffer death, saying in this wise: "O sirs, O brothers, now is the day that we must remember the Passion of Christ, and how much pain He endured to redeem us sinners. Now is that day when all our sins will be blotted out. For this I beseech you that we determine to go vigorously against these dogs; for I hope that God will give us the victory, and will not choose that His faith should fail." And then the spiritual father stood upon the ship of the said captain, with the crucifix in his hand, and delivered a beautiful discourse to all, exhorting us to do that which we were bound to do. And then he gave us absolution from punishment and sin, and said: "Now, my sons, let us all go willingly, for God will be with us." ** "The Third Book Concerning India", "The Chapter Concerning the [[w:Battle of Cannanore (1506)|Fleet of Calicut]]" (tr. Jones, pp. 275–276) == External links == {{Wikipedia}} {{Wikisource|Author:Ludovico di Varthema}} * ''The Travels of Ludovico di Varthema in Egypt, Syria, Arabia Deserta and Arabia Felix, in Persia, India, and Ethiopia, A.D. 1503 to 1508'', translated by John Winter Jones, edited by George Percy Badger (London: Hakluyt Society, 1863) * ''Travelers in Disguise: Narratives of Eastern Travel by Poggio Bracciolini and Ludivico de Varthema'', translated by John Winter Jones, introduction by Lincoln Davis Hammond (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1963) {{DEFAULTSORT:Varthema, Ludovico di}} [[Category:1517 deaths]] [[Category:Non-fiction authors from Italy]] [[Category:Travel writers]] spda1vvj5yhz6ck2tufnivy7otcfhgo 3942083 3942081 2026-05-17T15:17:58Z Ficaia 3085955 3942083 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Varthema ttp (cropped).jpg|thumb|]] '''[[w:Ludovico di Varthema|Ludovico di Varthema]]''', also known as '''Barthema''' and '''Vertomannus''' (c. 1470 – 1517), was an Italian traveller, diarist and aristocrat known for being one of the first non-Muslim Europeans to enter Mecca as a pilgrim. Nearly everything that is known about his life comes from his own account of his travels, ''Itinerario de Ludouico de Varthema Bolognese'', published in Rome in 1510. == Quotes == === ''Itinerario de Ludouico de Varthema Bolognese'' (1510) === * [[Mahomet]] was captain, and he was an Arab. Haly was son-in-law of Mahomet, that is, he was the husband of Fatoma, who was the daughter of Mahomet. Babacher was he of whom we should say that he was cardinal, and wanted to be pope. Othman was one of his captains. Aumar was another of his captains. And these said books treat about each of his people, that is, of the said captains; and, on this account it is that this ''canaille'' cut each other to pieces, for some wish to act according to the commandments of one, and some of another, and thus they do not know how to make up their minds; and they kill each other like beasts about these heresies, for they are all false. ** "The Book Concerning Arabia Deserta", "The Chapter Concerning Where Mahomet and His Companions Were Buried" (tr. John Winter Jones, 1863, pp. 27–28) * [[w:Gujarati people|Guzerati]] are a certain race which eats nothing that has blood, and never kills any living thing. And these same people are neither Moors nor heathens. It is my opinion that if they were baptized, they would all be saved by virtue of their works, for they never do to others what they would not that others should do unto them. Their dress is this: some wear a shirt, and some go naked, with the exception of a piece of cloth about their middle, having nothing on their feet or on their legs. On their heads they wear a large red cloth; and they are of a tawny colour. And for this, their goodness, the aforesaid sultan <nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Mahmud Begada|Machamuth]]<nowiki>]</nowiki> took from them their kingdom. ** "The First Book Concerning India", "The Chapter Concerning the Estate of the Sultan of the Very Noble City of Combeia" (tr. Jones, pp. 108–109) * The Moorish Cadi held a council with all the Moorish merchants, amongst whom were collected one hundred ducats, which they carried to the king of the Gioghi, who was at that time in Calicut with three thousand Gioghi, to whom the said Moors said: "Sir, thou knowest that in other years when thou hast come here we have shown thee much kindness, and more honour than we show thee now; the reason is this: there are here two Christians who are enemies of our faith and yours, who inform the Portuguese of all that is done in this country; wherefore, we beseech thee to kill them, and to take these hundred ducats." The king of the Gioghi immediately sent two hundred men to kill the said wo Christians, and when they went to their house, they began by tens to sound their horns and demand alms. And when the Christians saw so many people increasing they said: "These want something else besides alms;" and began to fight, so that these two killed six of them, and wounded more than forty. At last, these Gioghi cast at them certain pieces of iron which are made round like a wheel, and they threw them with a sling, and struck Ioan-Maria on the head and Pietro Antonio on the head, so that they fell to the ground; and then they ran upon them and cut open the veins of their throats, and with their hands they drank their blood. ** "The Third Book Concerning India", "The Chapter Showing How I Escaped from Canonor to the Portuguese" (tr. Jones, pp. 273–274) * All this fleet was two hundred and nine sail, of which eighty-four were large ships, and the remainder were rowing vessels, that is, ''paraos''. In which fleet there was an infinite number of armed Moors; and they wore certain red garments of cloth stuffed with cotton, and they wore certain large caps stuffed, and also on the arms bracelets and gloves stuffed; and a great number of bows and lances, swords and shields, and large and small artillery after our custom. When we saw this fleet, ... truly, seeing so many ships together, it appeared as though one saw a very large wood. We Christians always hoped that God would aid us to confound the Pagan faith. And the most valiant knight, the captain of the fleet, son of Don Francisco dal Meda, Viceroy of India, was here with eleven ships, amongst which there were two galleys and one brigantine. When he saw such a multitude of ships, he acted like a most valiant captain: he called to him all his knights and men of the said ships, and then began to exhort and beseech them that, for the love of God and of the Christian faith, they would expose themselves willingly to suffer death, saying in this wise: "O sirs, O brothers, now is the day that we must remember the Passion of Christ, and how much pain He endured to redeem us sinners. Now is that day when all our sins will be blotted out. For this I beseech you that we determine to go vigorously against these dogs; for I hope that God will give us the victory, and will not choose that His faith should fail." And then the spiritual father stood upon the ship of the said captain, with the crucifix in his hand, and delivered a beautiful discourse to all, exhorting us to do that which we were bound to do. And then he gave us absolution from punishment and sin, and said: "Now, my sons, let us all go willingly, for God will be with us." ** "The Third Book Concerning India", "The Chapter Concerning the [[w:Battle of Cannanore (1506)|Fleet of Calicut]]" (tr. Jones, pp. 275–276) == External links == {{Wikipedia}} {{Wikisource|Author:Ludovico di Varthema}} * ''The Travels of Ludovico di Varthema in Egypt, Syria, Arabia Deserta and Arabia Felix, in Persia, India, and Ethiopia, A.D. 1503 to 1508'', translated by John Winter Jones, edited by George Percy Badger (London: Hakluyt Society, 1863) * ''Travelers in Disguise: Narratives of Eastern Travel by Poggio Bracciolini and Ludivico de Varthema'', translated by John Winter Jones, introduction by Lincoln Davis Hammond (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1963) {{DEFAULTSORT:Varthema, Ludovico di}} [[Category:1517 deaths]] [[Category:Non-fiction authors from Italy]] [[Category:Travel writers]] 5jz4775n3ccuqd2mfeluj051iwncjfp 0 307392 3942095 2026-05-17T16:48:04Z Saroj 2925457 #100wikiquotedays 3942095 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:Nayanthara at Filmfare Awards.jpg|thumb|Nayanthara at Filmfare Awards South]] '''[[w:Nayanthara|Nayanthara]]''' (born '''Diana Mariam Kurian'''; 18 November 1984) is an Indian actress and producer known for her work in [[w:Tamil cinema|Tamil]], [[w:Telugu cinema|Telugu]] and [[w:Malayalam cinema|Malayalam]] films. One of the highest-paid actresses in India, she was the only South Indian actress to be featured in ''[[w:Forbes India|Forbes India]]'' "Celebrity 100" list in 2018. With a career spanning over two decades, she has appeared in more than 75 films and has received [[w:List of awards and nominations received by Nayanthara|numerous awards]], including five [[w:Filmfare Awards South|Filmfare Awards South]], three [[w:Tamil Nadu State Film Awards|Tamil Nadu State Film Awards]], a [[w:Nandi Award|Nandi Award]] and seven [[w:SIIMA Awards|SIIMA Awards]]. {{actor-stub}} == Quotes == * I have spent 18-19 years in the film industry, but I do not think about it, because it is always about what more I can do, how much more I can learn and which new beginnings I can make. Even after so many years, when I am on a film set, every day seems like my first and I can never get enough of it. ** Shekhar, Divya J. (12 October 2021). [https://www.forbesindia.com/article/south-celebrity-special-2021/nayanthara-the-unconventional-superstar/70975/1 "Nayanthara, the unconventional superstar"]. ''Forbes India''. * When there is a low phase in your life, you have to pick yourself up and start again. What I did was believe in myself, have faith in God and in the power of the universe. There is no strategy or plan, just a lot of hard work, dedication and determination. ** Shekhar, Divya J. (12 October 2021). [https://www.forbesindia.com/article/south-celebrity-special-2021/nayanthara-the-unconventional-superstar/70975/1 "Nayanthara, the unconventional superstar"]. ''Forbes India''. * If you are honest to your craft, if you do your work well, it works. The audience connects with you, they fall in love with you, they celebrate you, which becomes the biggest joy of life. ** [https://theprint.in/feature/not-easy-to-be-in-film-industry-feel-blessed-for-love-nayanthara/1303323/ "Not easy to be in film industry, feel blessed for love: Nayanthara"]. ''ThePrint''. 7 January 2023. == External links== {{Wikipedia}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Nayantara}} [[Category:1984 births]] [[Category:Living people]] [[Category:Actresses from India]] [[Category:Hindus from India]] [[Category:Filmfare Awards South winners]] ji03m6jwml69a334dtpeo8g9pax3bo8 0 307393 3942105 2026-05-17T17:38:56Z A23423413 3125316 new #shesaid 3942105 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Cecília Meireles|Cecília Benevides de Carvalho Meireles]]''' (7 November 1901 – 9 November 1964; born and died in Rio de Janeiro) was an educator and Portuguese-language writer, known principally as a [[poet]]. {{people-stub}} (<--- use if only providing a few quotes to start) == Quotes == *"Introduction"<br>Here is my heritage:<br>This solitary sea —<br>On one side it was love<br>And on the other forgetfulness. **translated from the original Portuguese into English by John Nist in ''Modern Brazilian Poetry: An Anthology'' (1962) *"''Motivo"<br>Eu canto porque o instante existe<br>e a minha vida está completa.<br>Não sou alegre nem sou triste:<br>sou poeta. **(fragment from) "Motive"<br>I sing because the moment exists<br>and my life is complete.<br>I’m not happy and I’m not sad:<br>I’m a poet. **translation into English by [https://www.vianegativa.us/2015/06/contrary-moon-three-poems-by-cecilia-meireles/ Natalie d'Arbeloff] *"''Retrato"<br>Eu não dei por esta mudança,<br>tão simples, tão certa, tão fácil:<br>– Em que espelho ficou perdida<br>a minha face?'' **(fragment from) "Portrait"<br>I didn’t expect this transformation,<br>so simple, so sure, so easy:<br>— In which mirror did I lose<br>my face? **translation into English by [https://www.vianegativa.us/2015/06/contrary-moon-three-poems-by-cecilia-meireles/ Natalie d'Arbeloff] *"Lua Adversa"<br>Tenho fases, como a lua.<br>Fases de andar escondida,<br>fases de vir para a rua…<br>Perdição da minha vida!<br>Perdição da vida minha!<br>Tenho fases de ser tua,<br>tenho outras de ser sozinha. **(fragment from) "Contrary Moon"<br>I have phases, like the moon.<br>Phases to hide myself,<br>phases to walk the street…<br>Perdition!<br>Perdition!<br>I have phases of being yours,<br>and others of being solitary. **translation into English by [https://www.vianegativa.us/2015/06/contrary-moon-three-poems-by-cecilia-meireles/ Natalie d'Arbeloff] == Quotes about == == External links== {{Wikipedia}} *[https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/2782269.Cec_lia_Meireles GoodReads page] *[https://web.archive.org/web/20100617153455/http://www.vidaslusofonas.pt/cecilia_meireles2.htm Vidas Lusófonas page] (translated into English) *[https://www.antoniomiranda.com.br/poesia_ingles/cecilia_meireles.html Poems translated into English] *[https://www.vianegativa.us/2015/06/contrary-moon-three-poems-by-cecilia-meireles/ "Contrary Moon: three poems by Cecília Meireles"] from ''Via Negativa'' {{DEFAULTSORT:(Meireles, Cecília)}} [[Category:1901 births]] [[Category:1964 deaths]] my7t9relmmfbys4dopjeq9l4n3upg6q 3942106 3942105 2026-05-17T17:42:22Z A23423413 3125316 /* External links */ 1 more link 3942106 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Cecília Meireles|Cecília Benevides de Carvalho Meireles]]''' (7 November 1901 – 9 November 1964; born and died in Rio de Janeiro) was an educator and Portuguese-language writer, known principally as a [[poet]]. {{people-stub}} (<--- use if only providing a few quotes to start) == Quotes == *"Introduction"<br>Here is my heritage:<br>This solitary sea —<br>On one side it was love<br>And on the other forgetfulness. **translated from the original Portuguese into English by John Nist in ''Modern Brazilian Poetry: An Anthology'' (1962) *"''Motivo"<br>Eu canto porque o instante existe<br>e a minha vida está completa.<br>Não sou alegre nem sou triste:<br>sou poeta. **(fragment from) "Motive"<br>I sing because the moment exists<br>and my life is complete.<br>I’m not happy and I’m not sad:<br>I’m a poet. **translation into English by [https://www.vianegativa.us/2015/06/contrary-moon-three-poems-by-cecilia-meireles/ Natalie d'Arbeloff] *"''Retrato"<br>Eu não dei por esta mudança,<br>tão simples, tão certa, tão fácil:<br>– Em que espelho ficou perdida<br>a minha face?'' **(fragment from) "Portrait"<br>I didn’t expect this transformation,<br>so simple, so sure, so easy:<br>— In which mirror did I lose<br>my face? **translation into English by [https://www.vianegativa.us/2015/06/contrary-moon-three-poems-by-cecilia-meireles/ Natalie d'Arbeloff] *"Lua Adversa"<br>Tenho fases, como a lua.<br>Fases de andar escondida,<br>fases de vir para a rua…<br>Perdição da minha vida!<br>Perdição da vida minha!<br>Tenho fases de ser tua,<br>tenho outras de ser sozinha. **(fragment from) "Contrary Moon"<br>I have phases, like the moon.<br>Phases to hide myself,<br>phases to walk the street…<br>Perdition!<br>Perdition!<br>I have phases of being yours,<br>and others of being solitary. **translation into English by [https://www.vianegativa.us/2015/06/contrary-moon-three-poems-by-cecilia-meireles/ Natalie d'Arbeloff] == Quotes about == == External links== {{Wikipedia}} *[https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/2782269.Cec_lia_Meireles GoodReads page] *[https://web.archive.org/web/20100617153455/http://www.vidaslusofonas.pt/cecilia_meireles2.htm Vidas Lusófonas page] (translated into English) *[https://www.antoniomiranda.com.br/poesia_ingles/cecilia_meireles.html Poems translated into English] *[https://www.vianegativa.us/2015/06/contrary-moon-three-poems-by-cecilia-meireles/ "Contrary Moon: three poems by Cecília Meireles"] from ''Via Negativa'' *[https://ex-puritan.ca/three-poems-translated-by-dean-thomas-ellis "Three Poems, Translated by Dean Thomas Ellis"] in ''The Ex-Puritan'' {{DEFAULTSORT:(Meireles, Cecília)}} [[Category:1901 births]] [[Category:1964 deaths]] 7g97k45wmwib0ahuroh1jg6zwsw2zv6 0 307394 3942107 2026-05-17T17:44:13Z Ficaia 3085955 Created page with "'''[[w:Adam Nicolson|Adam Nicolson]]''', FSA, FSA Scot, FRSL (born 12 September 1957) is an English author who has written about history, landscape, great literature and the sea. He is also the '''5th Baron Carnock''', but does not use the title. {{author-stub}} == Quotes == [[File:Homeric Greece-en.svg|thumb|Fatherhood is fatherland, and blood and heart are home.]] * It is true that they occasionally refer to the places they come from, but the psychological weight in..." 3942107 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Adam Nicolson|Adam Nicolson]]''', FSA, FSA Scot, FRSL (born 12 September 1957) is an English author who has written about history, landscape, great literature and the sea. He is also the '''5th Baron Carnock''', but does not use the title. {{author-stub}} == Quotes == [[File:Homeric Greece-en.svg|thumb|Fatherhood is fatherland, and blood and heart are home.]] * It is true that they occasionally refer to the places they come from, but the psychological weight in those references is not to buildings or cities. The Greeks look back with longing and sense of loss to their families, their distant fathers and their fathers' fathers, their wives and children, the brotherhood of their clans, the hearths which are defined by the people who gather around them, not to any palaces. They love their land, which gives them food and sustenance, its wheat-bearing fields and lovely orchards, but not the kind of deeply instituted fixity and built wealth they have come to get their hands on at Troy. What they miss, in a phrase that is repeated again and again, is "the loved earth of their fathers." But in Greek there is no distinction between "fatherhood" and "fatherland." The word for them both is ''patra'', and it can apply in [[Homer]] to a shared descent, a cousinage, a sense of family or clan. Fatherhood is fatherland, and blood and heart are home.{{pb}}Even the loved earth of the fathers is trumped by something else in the Greek mind. When the great owl-eyed goddess Athene, terrifying in her power, carrying her magic aegis, or breastplate, moves through the Greek army, putting a deep hunger for violence in their hearts, allowing them to fight without rest, home itself drops into insignificance.{{pb}}And now sweeter to them than any return<br>In their hollow ships to the loved earth of their fathers<br>Was battle.{{pb}}The word Homer uses for the deliciousness of that violence in battle is ''glukus'', "sugary," even "sickly," used of nectar and sweet wine, of the people you love. Battle, in many ways, is the Greek home. As the agents of severance, they are themselves severed from home. The most delicious thing they can imagine is a world of unrelenting violence. ** ''Why Homer Matters'' (New York: Henry Holt, 2014), p. 181 == External links == * {{Wikipedia-inline}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Nicolson, Adam}} [[Category:1957 births]] [[Category:Living people]] [[Category:Non-fiction authors from England]] [[Category:Journalists from England]] [[Category:University of Cambridge alumni]] [[Category:Fellows of the Royal Society of Literature]] [[Category:People from Hampshire]] 97azne474zoimqinqeuor0j4warmuiq 3942138 3942107 2026-05-17T18:58:19Z Ficaia 3085955 3942138 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Adam Nicolson|Adam Nicolson]]''', FSA, FSA Scot, FRSL (born 12 September 1957) is an English author who has written about history, landscape, great literature and the sea. He is also the '''5th Baron Carnock''', but does not use the title. {{author-stub}} == Quotes == [[File:Homeric Greece-en.svg|thumb|Fatherhood is fatherland, and blood and heart are home.]] [[File:The Triumph of Achilles by Franz von Matsch (cropped).jpg|thumb|The most delicious thing they can imagine is a world of unrelenting violence.]] * It is true that they occasionally refer to the places they come from, but the psychological weight in those references is not to buildings or cities. The Greeks look back with longing and sense of loss to their families, their distant fathers and their fathers' fathers, their wives and children, the brotherhood of their clans, the hearths which are defined by the people who gather around them, not to any palaces. They love their land, which gives them food and sustenance, its wheat-bearing fields and lovely orchards, but not the kind of deeply instituted fixity and built wealth they have come to get their hands on at Troy. What they miss, in a phrase that is repeated again and again, is "the loved earth of their fathers." But in Greek there is no distinction between "fatherhood" and "fatherland." The word for them both is ''patra'', and it can apply in [[Homer]] to a shared descent, a cousinage, a sense of family or clan. Fatherhood is fatherland, and blood and heart are home.{{pb}}Even the loved earth of the fathers is trumped by something else in the Greek mind. When the great owl-eyed goddess Athene, terrifying in her power, carrying her magic aegis, or breastplate, moves through the Greek army, putting a deep hunger for violence in their hearts, allowing them to fight without rest, home itself drops into insignificance.{{pb}}And now sweeter to them than any return<br>In their hollow ships to the loved earth of their fathers<br>Was battle.{{pb}}The word Homer uses for the deliciousness of that violence in battle is ''glukus'', "sugary," even "sickly," used of nectar and sweet wine, of the people you love. Battle, in many ways, is the Greek home. As the agents of severance, they are themselves severed from home. The most delicious thing they can imagine is a world of unrelenting violence. ** ''Why Homer Matters'' (New York: Henry Holt, 2014), p. 181 == External links == * {{Wikipedia-inline}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Nicolson, Adam}} [[Category:1957 births]] [[Category:Living people]] [[Category:Non-fiction authors from England]] [[Category:Journalists from England]] [[Category:University of Cambridge alumni]] [[Category:Fellows of the Royal Society of Literature]] [[Category:People from Hampshire]] dlbho1p09hv86capaxg93kmpjd1ktil 14 307395 3942108 2026-05-17T17:44:16Z Ficaia 3085955 Created page with "[[Category:People by county in England|Hampshire]]" 3942108 wikitext text/x-wiki [[Category:People by county in England|Hampshire]] p4au79zpkwntdahqhqduw7cgw9e3gtl 0 307396 3942118 2026-05-17T17:57:32Z A23423413 3125316 new #shesaid 3942118 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Esmeralda Ribeiro|Esmeralda Ribeiro]]''' (born 1958 in São Paulo) is a journalist and Portuguese-language writer. {{people-stub}} == Quotes == *One night, while working at the Humanitarian Center, I went to answer a call. When the phone lines got crossed, I heard the strangest conversation, full of intimate details and emotions, and my life was forever changed. **beginning of the story "In Search of a Black Butterfly," English translation in ''Fourteen Female Voices from Brazil'' by Elzbieta Szoka (2002) *there are black female writers who came before me, and it's important for me to know that I'm contributing something, too, that I'm not just following their footsteps... I want to pass on my way of seeing the world and the outlook of the black community in Brazil through my works, without following the same patterns. **interview in ''Fourteen female voices from Brazil'' by Elzbieta Szoka (2002) *...the traveling that we do through reading...perhaps these are the most rewarding trips that a person can take, because they help us to think and to situate our ideas more effectively. A person who reads is many kilometers ahead of other people. A person who reads has a different stance in life. Especially for those of us who are black writers we need to know our history. Someone who doesn't know his or her own origin is ignorant; someone who doesn't know his or her origin will be deceived by false experts, because sometimes lies are told, and a person can end up believing them. For us, literature enables us to go on maturing as creators. Through our creation, we can include factual elements in our work that refer to mythology, to our origins and to our knowledge. **''Fourteen female voices from Brazil'' by Elzbieta Szoka (2002) *(Q: Do politics occupy an important role in your life?) ER: Yes, living is a political act. Becoming involved in efforts that guide people toward thinking is a political act. Having an awareness that I'm a person of African descent is a political stance. The decision to have a companion and for a child to be born from my own body is a political act...For those who most closely resemble Hitler or the Brazilian Ku Klux Klan, [[power]] is a potent and lethal weapon that will strike us one way or the other. They want to see us burning or driven through the streets as beggars. From the runway at a show to the gutters of filthy city streets. In my daily life, I try to exercise my right to have a voice and, especially, to have my body respected. Through my literary creation, I'm offering indirect criticism of race relations in Brazil and of relations between men and women. Feminism in Brazil is a struggle where white women go out to fight for their rights while black women stay in the kitchen as household servants. Are we together in this process of demanding our rights, or aren't we? **''Fourteen female voices from Brazil'' by Elzbieta Szoka (2002) == Quotes about == == External links== {{Wikipedia}} [https://www.goodreads.com/author/list/3976006.Esmeralda_Ribeiro GoodReads page] {{DEFAULTSORT:Ribeiro, Esmeralda}} [[Category:1959 births]] [[Category:Living people]] 899gsh9j4tsgxw79ihhgocgqgli1obs 3942119 3942118 2026-05-17T17:58:46Z A23423413 3125316 /* External links */ 1 more link 3942119 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Esmeralda Ribeiro|Esmeralda Ribeiro]]''' (born 1958 in São Paulo) is a journalist and Portuguese-language writer. {{people-stub}} == Quotes == *One night, while working at the Humanitarian Center, I went to answer a call. When the phone lines got crossed, I heard the strangest conversation, full of intimate details and emotions, and my life was forever changed. **beginning of the story "In Search of a Black Butterfly," English translation in ''Fourteen Female Voices from Brazil'' by Elzbieta Szoka (2002) *there are black female writers who came before me, and it's important for me to know that I'm contributing something, too, that I'm not just following their footsteps... I want to pass on my way of seeing the world and the outlook of the black community in Brazil through my works, without following the same patterns. **interview in ''Fourteen female voices from Brazil'' by Elzbieta Szoka (2002) *...the traveling that we do through reading...perhaps these are the most rewarding trips that a person can take, because they help us to think and to situate our ideas more effectively. A person who reads is many kilometers ahead of other people. A person who reads has a different stance in life. Especially for those of us who are black writers we need to know our history. Someone who doesn't know his or her own origin is ignorant; someone who doesn't know his or her origin will be deceived by false experts, because sometimes lies are told, and a person can end up believing them. For us, literature enables us to go on maturing as creators. Through our creation, we can include factual elements in our work that refer to mythology, to our origins and to our knowledge. **''Fourteen female voices from Brazil'' by Elzbieta Szoka (2002) *(Q: Do politics occupy an important role in your life?) ER: Yes, living is a political act. Becoming involved in efforts that guide people toward thinking is a political act. Having an awareness that I'm a person of African descent is a political stance. The decision to have a companion and for a child to be born from my own body is a political act...For those who most closely resemble Hitler or the Brazilian Ku Klux Klan, [[power]] is a potent and lethal weapon that will strike us one way or the other. They want to see us burning or driven through the streets as beggars. From the runway at a show to the gutters of filthy city streets. In my daily life, I try to exercise my right to have a voice and, especially, to have my body respected. Through my literary creation, I'm offering indirect criticism of race relations in Brazil and of relations between men and women. Feminism in Brazil is a struggle where white women go out to fight for their rights while black women stay in the kitchen as household servants. Are we together in this process of demanding our rights, or aren't we? **''Fourteen female voices from Brazil'' by Elzbieta Szoka (2002) == Quotes about == == External links== {{Wikipedia}} *[https://www.instagram.com/escritoraesmeraldaribeiro/ Instagram page] *[https://www.goodreads.com/author/list/3976006.Esmeralda_Ribeiro GoodReads page] {{DEFAULTSORT:Ribeiro, Esmeralda}} [[Category:1959 births]] [[Category:Living people]] 1idubwpmk9gnesns4rkx5cgv6imwcjs 0 307397 3942128 2026-05-17T18:21:17Z A23423413 3125316 new #shesaid 3942128 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Miriam Alves|Miriam Aparecida Alves]]''' (born 1952 in São Paulo) is a Portuguese-language writer. {{people-stub}} == Quotes == *I am an [[artist]]. I need my space and some times it is difficult for people to understand this truth. For an artist, there is no other option than to be an artist. We don't choose this thing. We are chosen for this thing. I did not choose this. I know people who have tried to reject this vocation, but they are not happy. **interview in ''Obsidian'' (2012-13) *Every child that is born inherits a spiritual ancestry...Your ancestry is your place and if you do not locate it, you will be out of place. **interview in ''Obsidian'' (2012-13) ===interview in ''Fourteen female voices from Brazil'' (2002)=== book by Elzbieta Szoka *[[Globalization]] is a process that concentrates all of the benefits into a few hands and the garbage gets thrown in the neigbor's backyard. And that neighbor is always Africa and Latin America. *I have a commitment to myself regarding my sensibilities. I am a harp with well-stretched strings, and when the call comes, I play. My antennae are out to the world. If the world is disturbed, so am I. If the world is at peace, so am I. *I would support the party that shares the viewpoint of the heirs of slavery and slavery-related capitalism, the heirs of the garbage dump; yes, that's who we are. [[Capitalism]] is the child of [[slavery]]. The blacks were used as part of a system, and later when that system no longer served a purpose, they were tossed out. *When I write a poem it is because I am filled with passion, with love, or because I am angry, or because I am distressed, or because I am happy. I go through several kinds of emotions and I talk to those emotions, which are not only mine. They pass through me, but are not mine alone. When I am writing, I want to open myself to learn about what you are. And when you read what I have written, you are opening yourself to knowing what I am. The song also passes through all of these emotions, but they are emotions that I am developing with the intent of transmitting various things. And like a recipe for making a cake, emotions are the ingredients, and the type of cake is the intent. When the cake is ready, I cut it and give it to people. Sometimes it's good, and sometimes it's not. Sometimes my inspiration is taken from the recipes of others. *To be black woman in Brazil is complicated. Black women and white women in Brazil have different lives. When white women talk about independence, they talk about leaving the home to go to work, whereas the black woman has been working for many, many years. After slavery was abolished, there was no employment for black men. The black woman went to work and continued working in the home of the white. For the black woman independence would be ''not'' to work, unless you mean to work in her very own home. When feminist ideas arrived in Brazil in the 19th century, we were in the throes of slavery. Which women were talking? White women were doing the talking. The black person did not have any categories: man, woman, child. The black person was just that - black. The women were the "mammies"; the children were the "pickaninnies." It is still like this today: if you're white, then the term is child; if you're black, then the term is nothing. == Quotes about == == External links== {{Wikipedia}} *[https://www.goodreads.com/author/list/713075.Miriam_Alves GoodReads page] *[https://www.poesianaalma.com.br/2023/04/os-passos-de-miriam-alves-em-dez-poemas.html?m=1 Poesia na Alma page] (in Portuguese) *[http://www.letras.ufmg.br/literafro/autoras/348-miriam-alves literafro page] (in Portuguese) {{DEFAULTSORT:Alves, Miriam}} [[Category:1952 births]] [[Category:Living people]] by9003d6ghpwzy1j4kg10bogrf3j3pz 3942129 3942128 2026-05-17T18:21:32Z A23423413 3125316 /* Quotes */ 3942129 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Miriam Alves|Miriam Aparecida Alves]]''' (born 1952 in São Paulo) is a Portuguese-language writer. {{people-stub}} == Quotes == *I am an [[artist]]. I need my space and some times it is difficult for people to understand this truth. For an artist, there is no other option than to be an artist. We don't choose this thing. We are chosen for this thing. I did not choose this. I know people who have tried to reject this vocation, but they are not happy. **interview in ''Obsidian'' (2012-13) *Every child that is born inherits a spiritual ancestry...Your ancestry is your place and if you do not locate it, you will be out of place. **interview in ''Obsidian'' (2012-13) ===interview in ''Fourteen female voices from Brazil'' (2002)=== book by Elzbieta Szoka *[[Globalization]] is a process that concentrates all of the benefits into a few hands and the garbage gets thrown in the neigbor's backyard. And that neighbor is always Africa and Latin America. *I have a commitment to myself regarding my sensibilities. I am a harp with well-stretched strings, and when the call comes, I play. My antennae are out to the world. If the world is disturbed, so am I. If the world is at peace, so am I. *I would support the party that shares the viewpoint of the heirs of slavery and slavery-related capitalism, the heirs of the garbage dump; yes, that's who we are. [[Capitalism]] is the child of [[slavery]]. The blacks were used as part of a system, and later when that system no longer served a purpose, they were tossed out. *When I write a poem it is because I am filled with passion, with love, or because I am angry, or because I am distressed, or because I am happy. I go through several kinds of emotions and I talk to those emotions, which are not only mine. They pass through me, but are not mine alone. When I am writing, I want to open myself to learn about what you are. And when you read what I have written, you are opening yourself to knowing what I am. The song also passes through all of these emotions, but they are emotions that I am developing with the intent of transmitting various things. And like a recipe for making a cake, emotions are the ingredients, and the type of cake is the intent. When the cake is ready, I cut it and give it to people. Sometimes it's good, and sometimes it's not. Sometimes my inspiration is taken from the recipes of others. *To be black woman in Brazil is complicated. Black women and white women in Brazil have different lives. When white women talk about independence, they talk about leaving the home to go to work, whereas the black woman has been working for many, many years. After slavery was abolished, there was no employment for black men. The black woman went to work and continued working in the home of the white. For the black woman independence would be ''not'' to work, unless you mean to work in her very own home. When feminist ideas arrived in Brazil in the 19th century, we were in the throes of slavery. Which women were talking? White women were doing the talking. The black person did not have any categories: man, woman, child. The black person was just that - black. The women were the "mammies"; the children were the "pickaninnies." It is still like this today: if you're white, then the term is child; if you're black, then the term is nothing. == Quotes about == == External links== {{Wikipedia}} *[https://www.goodreads.com/author/list/713075.Miriam_Alves GoodReads page] *[https://www.poesianaalma.com.br/2023/04/os-passos-de-miriam-alves-em-dez-poemas.html?m=1 Poesia na Alma page] (in Portuguese) *[http://www.letras.ufmg.br/literafro/autoras/348-miriam-alves literafro page] (in Portuguese) {{DEFAULTSORT:Alves, Miriam}} [[Category:1952 births]] [[Category:Living people]] npjrbjhqg4r46l9ma8k3u4mbfabecy3 0 307398 3942165 2026-05-17T20:43:23Z Ringbang 4436 created redirect to section 3942165 wikitext text/x-wiki #REDIRECT [[Shunryu Suzuki#Not Always So: Practicing the True Spirit of Zen (2002)]] lbrxteu1sicnucr94jjqcnfbyvqrzcl 0 307399 3942170 2026-05-17T20:54:08Z Ringbang 4436 created redirect to section 3942170 wikitext text/x-wiki #REDIRECT [[Laura Ingalls Wilder#Little Town on the Prairie (1941)]] dsz28i728a9b53jlgi7o7uw2by6lqyg 0 307400 3942172 2026-05-17T20:55:12Z Ringbang 4436 created redirect to section 3942172 wikitext text/x-wiki #REDIRCT [[Joseph Campbell#The Hero with a Thousand Faces (1949)]] mainvd63tp3uw33nalianw1p0okx7zk 3942179 3942172 2026-05-17T21:02:40Z Codename Noreste 3154048 Fix. 3942179 wikitext text/x-wiki #REDIRECT [[Joseph Campbell#The Hero with a Thousand Faces (1949)]] mc7fvlrvjcc1fkroyqbkwp6unbbgqys 0 307401 3942173 2026-05-17T20:55:50Z Ringbang 4436 created redirect to section 3942173 wikitext text/x-wiki #REDIRECT [[Joseph Campbell#The Power of Myth (1988)]] ddr6475cxrtu50aczrv9hthhio4som6 0 307402 3942174 2026-05-17T20:56:35Z Ringbang 4436 created redirect to section 3942174 wikitext text/x-wiki #REDIRECT [[Joseph Campbell#Mythology and the Individual (1997)]] 9t6m296nwkrbyxpktn726r60levpd5j 0 307403 3942176 2026-05-17T20:57:11Z Ringbang 4436 created redirect to section 3942176 wikitext text/x-wiki #REDIRECT [[Joseph Campbell#Pathways to Bliss (2004)]] kne031z7rjarba0j2v7bduv1n0jjqyg 0 307404 3942177 2026-05-17T20:59:28Z Ringbang 4436 created redirect to section 3942177 wikitext text/x-wiki #REDIRECT [[Charles Dickens#The Old Curiosity Shop (1841)]] q1ahfmp6ucm20yi9ny9hj2eo69qe2cu 0 307405 3942178 2026-05-17T21:02:36Z Ringbang 4436 created redirect to section 3942178 wikitext text/x-wiki #REDIRECT [[Frank Lloyd Wright#The Living City (1958)]] dss5zfns033g0wrs6zsozn4vuj66kzc 0 307406 3942182 2026-05-17T21:14:13Z Gilldragon 2514030 Created page with "'''[[w:Richard Pius Miles|Richard Pius Miles]]''' (May 17, 1791 – February 21, 1860) was an American prelate of the Catholic Church who served as the bishop of the [[w:Roman Catholic Diocese of Nashville|Diocese of Nashville]]. == Quotes == * Called to the elevated station we so unworthily occupy, and deeply sensible of our utter unworthiness for so responsible, so dignified, an office, in vain did we remonstrate in all sincerity with his present Holiness, Pope Grego..." 3942182 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Richard Pius Miles|Richard Pius Miles]]''' (May 17, 1791 – February 21, 1860) was an American prelate of the Catholic Church who served as the bishop of the [[w:Roman Catholic Diocese of Nashville|Diocese of Nashville]]. == Quotes == * Called to the elevated station we so unworthily occupy, and deeply sensible of our utter unworthiness for so responsible, so dignified, an office, in vain did we remonstrate in all sincerity with his present Holiness, Pope Gregory XVI, and solicit permission to decline the burthen of the Episcopacy. Acquainted, however, with your spiritual privations, and fearing that by any further postponement we would resist the will of Heaven, and that through our fault souls redeemed by the Saviour's blood might perish—trusting solely to the mercies of our God, who alone is capable of strengthening our weakness, and imparting to us wisdom and knowledge—we at length submitted to the will of the Holy Father, and were consecrated Bishop of Nashville. ** [https://archive.org/details/fatherofchurchin0000vfod/page/345 ''The Father of the Church in Tennessee''] == External links == {{Wikipedia}} {{commonscat}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Miles, Richard Pius}} [[Category:1791 births]] [[Category:Catholics from the United States]] [[Category:Clergy from the United States]] [[Category:Roman Catholic bishops]] [[Category:1860 deaths]] 9n2750q5hep2c7d705k8y7m5ul7xg6d 3942217 3942182 2026-05-18T00:15:16Z Ollin Masa 3311333 3942217 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Richard Pius Miles|Richard Pius Miles]]''' (May 17, 1791 – February 21, 1860) was an American prelate of the Catholic Church who served as the bishop of the [[w:Roman Catholic Diocese of Nashville|Diocese of Nashville]]. == Quotes == * Called to the elevated station we so unworthily occupy, and deeply sensible of our utter unworthiness for so responsible, so dignified, an office, in vain did we remonstrate in all sincerity with his present Holiness, Pope Gregory XVI, and solicit permission to decline the burthen of the Episcopacy. Acquainted, however, with your spiritual privations, and fearing that by any further postponement we would resist the will of Heaven, and that through our fault souls redeemed by the Saviour's blood might perish—trusting solely to the mercies of our God, who alone is capable of strengthening our weakness, and imparting to us wisdom and knowledge—we at length submitted to the will of the Holy Father, and were consecrated Bishop of Nashville. ** [https://archive.org/details/fatherofchurchin0000vfod/page/345 ''The Father of the Church in Tennessee''] == External links == {{Wikipedia}} {{commonscat}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Miles, Richard Pius}} [[Category:1791 births]] [[Category:1860 deaths]] [[Category:Catholics from the United States]] [[Category:Clergy from the United States]] [[Category:Roman Catholic bishops]] [[Category:People from Maryland]] ezgj2o252buigelwta53o4idf66figg 0 307407 3942186 2026-05-17T21:21:59Z Ringbang 4436 created redirect to section 3942186 wikitext text/x-wiki #REDIRECT [[Gertrude Stein#Everybody’s Autobiography (1937)]] lg8s9hvijo172m6iaj3qoomrgexaluj 0 307408 3942196 2026-05-17T21:37:56Z GrimRob 1187925 GrimRob moved page [[Maximilienne Chantal Ngo Mbe]] to [[Maximilienne Ngo Mbe]]: matches WP name 3942196 wikitext text/x-wiki #REDIRECT [[Maximilienne Ngo Mbe]] 17v8hypbpdnunr3iep45shz0f3vzliu 0 307409 3942201 2026-05-17T21:47:54Z Gilldragon 2514030 Created page with "'''[[w:Paschal Baylón|]]''' (May 1540 – 17 May 1592) was a Spanish Catholic. == Quotes about Paschal Baylón == *His charity to the poor and afflicted, and his unfailing courtesy were remarkable. ** [[w:Oswald Staniforth|]] [[s:Catholic Encyclopedia (1913)/St. Pascal Baylon|St. Pascal Baylon (1913) ''Catholic Encyclopedia'']] == External links == {{Wikipedia}} {{commonscat}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Baylón, Paschal}} [[Category:1540 births]] [[Category:People from Aragon]]..." 3942201 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Paschal Baylón|Paschal Baylón]]''' (May 1540 – 17 May 1592) was a Spanish Catholic. == Quotes about Paschal Baylón == *His charity to the poor and afflicted, and his unfailing courtesy were remarkable. ** [[w:Oswald Staniforth|Oswald Staniforth]] [[s:Catholic Encyclopedia (1913)/St. Pascal Baylon|St. Pascal Baylon (1913) ''Catholic Encyclopedia'']] == External links == {{Wikipedia}} {{commonscat}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Baylón, Paschal}} [[Category:1540 births]] [[Category:People from Aragon]] [[Category:Catholics from Spain]] [[Category:Franciscans]] [[Category:1592 deaths]] [[Category:Catholic saints]] exc3bi1mgv36ezogcj7eyyfqeb9naxj 3942203 3942201 2026-05-17T22:03:24Z Ollin Masa 3311333 Image 3942203 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:LienzoS Pascual.jpg|thumb|Paschal Baylon]] '''[[w:Paschal Baylón|Paschal Baylón]]''' (May 1540 – 17 May 1592) was a Spanish Catholic. == Quotes about Paschal Baylón == *His charity to the poor and afflicted, and his unfailing courtesy were remarkable. ** [[w:Oswald Staniforth|Oswald Staniforth]] [[s:Catholic Encyclopedia (1913)/St. Pascal Baylon|St. Pascal Baylon (1913) ''Catholic Encyclopedia'']] == External links == {{Wikipedia}} {{commonscat}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Baylón, Paschal}} [[Category:1540 births]] [[Category:1592 deaths]] [[Category:People from Aragon]] [[Category:Catholics from Spain]] [[Category:Franciscans]] [[Category:Catholic saints]] 9j5wqv7cwncja654k0xkxvodz5rgevg 3 307410 3942213 2026-05-17T23:33:35Z PieWriter 3267587 /* Welcome */ new section 3942213 wikitext text/x-wiki == Welcome == I have moved the page you recently created to your userspace,[[User:Afriquedem/Йордан Ивов Терзийски]], as it seemed to be not in english. If you have any questions, please ping me. [[User:PieWriter|PieWriter]] ([[User talk:PieWriter|talk]]) 23:33, 17 May 2026 (UTC) egv8cnbgr2ldw7na705tmua4712jho8 4 307411 3942215 2026-05-17T23:59:55Z Kalki 71 Created page with "{{Wikiquote:Quote of the day/Template | image1 = Heavens Above Her.jpg | image1px = 292px | image2 = Bertrand Russell with his children.jpg | image2px = 177px | quote = <!-- ⨀ <br /> -->All [[unhappiness]] depends upon some kind of disintegration or lack of [[integration]]; there is disintegration within the [[self]] through lack of coordination between the conscious and the unconscious [[mind]]; there is lack of integration between the self and [[society]] where the t..." 3942215 wikitext text/x-wiki {{Wikiquote:Quote of the day/Template | image1 = Heavens Above Her.jpg | image1px = 292px | image2 = Bertrand Russell with his children.jpg | image2px = 177px | quote = <!-- ⨀ <br /> -->All [[unhappiness]] depends upon some kind of disintegration or lack of [[integration]]; there is disintegration within the [[self]] through lack of coordination between the conscious and the unconscious [[mind]]; there is lack of integration between the self and [[society]] where the two are not knit together by the force of objective interests and [[affections]]. The [[happy]] [[Human|man]] is the man who does not [[suffer]] from either of these [[failures]] of [[unity]], whose [[personality]] is neither divided against itself nor pitted against the [[world]]. Such a man feels himself a [[citizen]] of the [[universe]], enjoying freely the spectacle that it offers and the [[joys]] that it affords, untroubled by the thought of [[death]] because he [[feels]] himself not really [[separate]] from those who will come after him. It is in such profound instinctive [[union]] with the stream of [[life]] that the [[greatest]] joy is to be found. | author = Bertrand Russell }} <!-- [[Bertrand Russell]] ~<br /> in <br />~ ''[[The Conquest of Happiness]]'' --> csba86pc1blys8skjmx2jsc7p9zf589 0 307412 3942224 2026-05-18T00:55:39Z ElektraFlowers 3310814 created page 3942224 wikitext text/x-wiki '''Tony Molina''' is an American musician and singer-songwriter from Millbrae, California. I’m not someone who can write a song about surfing or having pizza parties or whatever other fools do.<ref name="sily" /> The whole album [''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_the_Store In the Store]''] is about alcoholism and from the perspective of someone who sees the world through an alcoholic lens. The thing about alcoholics is that we have a lot in common and share similar stories and experiences. So I was touching on some things from my personal life that I think are super common among others who live a similar life. From the darkest points of addiction, struggling with recovery, and chronic relapse, to the paranoia and anxiety that comes from withdrawal. As a person in recovery, I felt like I needed to document these things at the time when I was going through it.<ref name="sily">{{cite web |last=Mainzer |first=Jordan |title=The Lost Days Interview: 8-Track Document |url=https://sinceileftyoublog.tumblr.com/post/712043997635493888/the-lost-days-interview-8-track-document |website=Since I Left You |date=17 March 2023 |access-date=16 May 2026}}</ref> I think the older I get the more I appreciate lyrics. But what I’m mostly drawn to is melody and instrumentation. When lyrics are good, it’s great, but it’s never been my main focus, it’s always been an afterthought.<ref name="allmusic">{{cite web |last=Steffen |first=Chris |title=Tony Molina, Master of Short Songs, Explains Why Melody Is King |url=https://www.allmusic.com/blog/post/tony-molina-interview/ |date=July 27, 2018 |access-date=May 17, 2026 }}</ref> I don’t write songs about my personal life or anything like that. Mostly I don’t. It’s really uncomfortable to do, so I’ve never even really attempted it that much, it’s much easier to come up with some simple thing that doesn’t apply to me and make that the song. Sometimes when I look back on stuff like that, I think, “All these songs are about a breakup,” but I’m not going through a breakup, I’m not losing people, my life is pretty good.<ref name="allmusic" /> == Reference List == {{reflist}} [[Category:American singer-songwriters]] 7yy1yii2xedqrp24ho6lbvr16llekxo 3942227 3942224 2026-05-18T00:56:22Z ElektraFlowers 3310814 defaultsort 3942227 wikitext text/x-wiki '''Tony Molina''' is an American musician and singer-songwriter from Millbrae, California. I’m not someone who can write a song about surfing or having pizza parties or whatever other fools do.<ref name="sily" /> The whole album [''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_the_Store In the Store]''] is about alcoholism and from the perspective of someone who sees the world through an alcoholic lens. The thing about alcoholics is that we have a lot in common and share similar stories and experiences. So I was touching on some things from my personal life that I think are super common among others who live a similar life. From the darkest points of addiction, struggling with recovery, and chronic relapse, to the paranoia and anxiety that comes from withdrawal. As a person in recovery, I felt like I needed to document these things at the time when I was going through it.<ref name="sily">{{cite web |last=Mainzer |first=Jordan |title=The Lost Days Interview: 8-Track Document |url=https://sinceileftyoublog.tumblr.com/post/712043997635493888/the-lost-days-interview-8-track-document |website=Since I Left You |date=17 March 2023 |access-date=16 May 2026}}</ref> I think the older I get the more I appreciate lyrics. But what I’m mostly drawn to is melody and instrumentation. When lyrics are good, it’s great, but it’s never been my main focus, it’s always been an afterthought.<ref name="allmusic">{{cite web |last=Steffen |first=Chris |title=Tony Molina, Master of Short Songs, Explains Why Melody Is King |url=https://www.allmusic.com/blog/post/tony-molina-interview/ |date=July 27, 2018 |access-date=May 17, 2026 }}</ref> I don’t write songs about my personal life or anything like that. Mostly I don’t. It’s really uncomfortable to do, so I’ve never even really attempted it that much, it’s much easier to come up with some simple thing that doesn’t apply to me and make that the song. Sometimes when I look back on stuff like that, I think, “All these songs are about a breakup,” but I’m not going through a breakup, I’m not losing people, my life is pretty good.<ref name="allmusic" /> == Reference List == {{reflist}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Molina, Tony}} [[Category:American singer-songwriters]] c7t3y8ox624gl5zqpjmqd87hyoilce9 3942230 3942227 2026-05-18T01:11:43Z ElektraFlowers 3310814 section 3942230 wikitext text/x-wiki '''Tony Molina''' is an American musician and singer-songwriter from Millbrae, California. == Interviews == I’m not someone who can write a song about surfing or having pizza parties or whatever other fools do.<ref name="sily" /> The whole album [''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_the_Store In the Store]''] is about alcoholism and from the perspective of someone who sees the world through an alcoholic lens. The thing about alcoholics is that we have a lot in common and share similar stories and experiences. So I was touching on some things from my personal life that I think are super common among others who live a similar life. From the darkest points of addiction, struggling with recovery, and chronic relapse, to the paranoia and anxiety that comes from withdrawal. As a person in recovery, I felt like I needed to document these things at the time when I was going through it.<ref name="sily">{{cite web |last=Mainzer |first=Jordan |title=The Lost Days Interview: 8-Track Document |url=https://sinceileftyoublog.tumblr.com/post/712043997635493888/the-lost-days-interview-8-track-document |website=Since I Left You |date=17 March 2023 |access-date=16 May 2026}}</ref> I think the older I get the more I appreciate lyrics. But what I’m mostly drawn to is melody and instrumentation. When lyrics are good, it’s great, but it’s never been my main focus, it’s always been an afterthought.<ref name="allmusic">{{cite web |last=Steffen |first=Chris |title=Tony Molina, Master of Short Songs, Explains Why Melody Is King |url=https://www.allmusic.com/blog/post/tony-molina-interview/ |date=July 27, 2018 |access-date=May 17, 2026 }}</ref> I don’t write songs about my personal life or anything like that. Mostly I don’t. It’s really uncomfortable to do, so I’ve never even really attempted it that much, it’s much easier to come up with some simple thing that doesn’t apply to me and make that the song. Sometimes when I look back on stuff like that, I think, “All these songs are about a breakup,” but I’m not going through a breakup, I’m not losing people, my life is pretty good.<ref name="allmusic" /> == Reference List == {{reflist}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Molina, Tony}} [[Category:American singer-songwriters]] gwes1oekt80xa5tk24mm46dy5kvmrhl 3942231 3942230 2026-05-18T01:12:34Z ElektraFlowers 3310814 wiki link 3942231 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Tony Molina|Tony Molina]]''' is an American musician and singer-songwriter from Millbrae, California. == Interviews == I’m not someone who can write a song about surfing or having pizza parties or whatever other fools do.<ref name="sily" /> The whole album [''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_the_Store In the Store]''] is about alcoholism and from the perspective of someone who sees the world through an alcoholic lens. The thing about alcoholics is that we have a lot in common and share similar stories and experiences. So I was touching on some things from my personal life that I think are super common among others who live a similar life. From the darkest points of addiction, struggling with recovery, and chronic relapse, to the paranoia and anxiety that comes from withdrawal. As a person in recovery, I felt like I needed to document these things at the time when I was going through it.<ref name="sily">{{cite web |last=Mainzer |first=Jordan |title=The Lost Days Interview: 8-Track Document |url=https://sinceileftyoublog.tumblr.com/post/712043997635493888/the-lost-days-interview-8-track-document |website=Since I Left You |date=17 March 2023 |access-date=16 May 2026}}</ref> I think the older I get the more I appreciate lyrics. But what I’m mostly drawn to is melody and instrumentation. When lyrics are good, it’s great, but it’s never been my main focus, it’s always been an afterthought.<ref name="allmusic">{{cite web |last=Steffen |first=Chris |title=Tony Molina, Master of Short Songs, Explains Why Melody Is King |url=https://www.allmusic.com/blog/post/tony-molina-interview/ |date=July 27, 2018 |access-date=May 17, 2026 }}</ref> I don’t write songs about my personal life or anything like that. Mostly I don’t. It’s really uncomfortable to do, so I’ve never even really attempted it that much, it’s much easier to come up with some simple thing that doesn’t apply to me and make that the song. Sometimes when I look back on stuff like that, I think, “All these songs are about a breakup,” but I’m not going through a breakup, I’m not losing people, my life is pretty good.<ref name="allmusic" /> == Reference List == {{reflist}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Molina, Tony}} [[Category:American singer-songwriters]] qzqmhvlffxsua7pzfkrfjvrg29ef3co 3942233 3942231 2026-05-18T02:12:18Z ElektraFlowers 3310814 added quotes 3942233 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Tony Molina|Tony Molina]]''' is an American musician and singer-songwriter from Millbrae, California. == Interviews == I’m not someone who can write a song about surfing or having pizza parties or whatever other fools do.<ref name="sily" /> The whole album [''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_the_Store In the Store]''] is about alcoholism and from the perspective of someone who sees the world through an alcoholic lens. The thing about alcoholics is that we have a lot in common and share similar stories and experiences. So I was touching on some things from my personal life that I think are super common among others who live a similar life. From the darkest points of addiction, struggling with recovery, and chronic relapse, to the paranoia and anxiety that comes from withdrawal. As a person in recovery, I felt like I needed to document these things at the time when I was going through it.<ref name="sily">{{cite web |last=Mainzer |first=Jordan |title=The Lost Days Interview: 8-Track Document |url=https://sinceileftyoublog.tumblr.com/post/712043997635493888/the-lost-days-interview-8-track-document |website=Since I Left You |date=17 March 2023 |access-date=16 May 2026}}</ref> I think the older I get the more I appreciate lyrics. But what I’m mostly drawn to is melody and instrumentation. When lyrics are good, it’s great, but it’s never been my main focus, it’s always been an afterthought.<ref name="allmusic">{{cite web |last=Steffen |first=Chris |title=Tony Molina, Master of Short Songs, Explains Why Melody Is King |url=https://www.allmusic.com/blog/post/tony-molina-interview/ |date=July 27, 2018 |access-date=May 17, 2026 }}</ref> I don’t write songs about my personal life or anything like that. Mostly I don’t. It’s really uncomfortable to do, so I’ve never even really attempted it that much, it’s much easier to come up with some simple thing that doesn’t apply to me and make that the song. Sometimes when I look back on stuff like that, I think, “All these songs are about a breakup,” but I’m not going through a breakup, I’m not losing people, my life is pretty good.<ref name="allmusic" /> I’ve always done both [solo and bands]. It seems pretty boring to just do one thing.<ref name="">{{cite web |last=Pessaro |first=Fred |title=Tony Molina May Be A Sensitive Guy, but He Still Wants To Beat You Down |url=https://www.vice.com/en/article/tony-molina-interview/ |website=[[w:Vice (magazine)|Vice]] |date=April 14, 2014 |access-date=May 17, 2026}} == Reference List == {{reflist}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Molina, Tony}} [[Category:American singer-songwriters]] lueo4jfqfb6mz4886al9sq0y8jjubuy 3942234 3942233 2026-05-18T02:16:28Z ElektraFlowers 3310814 more quotes 3942234 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Tony Molina|Tony Molina]]''' is an American musician and singer-songwriter from Millbrae, California. == Interviews == I’m not someone who can write a song about surfing or having pizza parties or whatever other fools do.<ref name="sily" /> The whole album [''[[w:In the Store|In the Store]]''] is about alcoholism and from the perspective of someone who sees the world through an alcoholic lens. The thing about alcoholics is that we have a lot in common and share similar stories and experiences. So I was touching on some things from my personal life that I think are super common among others who live a similar life. From the darkest points of addiction, struggling with recovery, and chronic relapse, to the paranoia and anxiety that comes from withdrawal. As a person in recovery, I felt like I needed to document these things at the time when I was going through it.<ref name="sily">{{cite web |last=Mainzer |first=Jordan |title=The Lost Days Interview: 8-Track Document |url=https://sinceileftyoublog.tumblr.com/post/712043997635493888/the-lost-days-interview-8-track-document |website=Since I Left You |date=17 March 2023 |access-date=16 May 2026}}</ref> I think the older I get the more I appreciate lyrics. But what I’m mostly drawn to is melody and instrumentation. When lyrics are good, it’s great, but it’s never been my main focus, it’s always been an afterthought.<ref name="allmusic">{{cite web |last=Steffen |first=Chris |title=Tony Molina, Master of Short Songs, Explains Why Melody Is King |url=https://www.allmusic.com/blog/post/tony-molina-interview/ |date=July 27, 2018 |access-date=May 17, 2026 }}</ref> I don’t write songs about my personal life or anything like that. Mostly I don’t. It’s really uncomfortable to do, so I’ve never even really attempted it that much, it’s much easier to come up with some simple thing that doesn’t apply to me and make that the song. Sometimes when I look back on stuff like that, I think, “All these songs are about a breakup,” but I’m not going through a breakup, I’m not losing people, my life is pretty good.<ref name="allmusic" /> I still play the exact same kind of music now as I did as a child...I don’t think I was born from any scene...The ‘hardcore guy finds sensitive side’ angle that people tried to pull in the past doesn’t apply to me. It’s also corny and not interesting.<ref name="vice-2018">{{cite web |last=Joyce |first=Colin |title=Tony Molina’s New Album Is a Low-Key Ripper, Like the Man Himself |url=https://www.vice.com/en/article/tony-molina-kill-the-lights-interview-stream/ |website=[[w:Vice (magazine)|Vice]] |date=July 23, 2018 |access-date=May 17, 2026}}</ref> I am still wildly uncomfortable with releasing music to the public but I try to shut that off, especially when my friends are so supportive of whatever music I am working on, it kind of convinces me that it is decent or listenable enough to put out there...I usually leave it up to other people to decide. I am perfectly OK with and used to shelving recordings and never releasing them.”<ref name="vice-2018" /> I honestly don’t give a care about lyrics when it comes to writing songs.<ref name="vice-2018" /> I’ve always done both [solo and bands]. It seems pretty boring to just do one thing.<ref name="vice">{{cite web |last=Pessaro |first=Fred |title=Tony Molina May Be A Sensitive Guy, but He Still Wants To Beat You Down |url=https://www.vice.com/en/article/tony-molina-interview/ |website=[[w:Vice (magazine)|Vice]] |date=April 14, 2014 |access-date=May 17, 2026}}</ref> == Reference List == {{reflist}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Molina, Tony}} [[Category:American singer-songwriters]] 7bevesb3gvkkfv8bnd50ncmtbdcmrt4 3942235 3942234 2026-05-18T02:19:02Z ElektraFlowers 3310814 fixed name 3942235 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Tony Molina|Tony Molina]]''' is an American musician and singer-songwriter from Millbrae, California. == Interviews == I’m not someone who can write a song about surfing or having pizza parties or whatever other fools do.<ref name="sily" /> The whole album [''[[w:In the Store|In the Store]]''] is about alcoholism and from the perspective of someone who sees the world through an alcoholic lens. The thing about alcoholics is that we have a lot in common and share similar stories and experiences. So I was touching on some things from my personal life that I think are super common among others who live a similar life. From the darkest points of addiction, struggling with recovery, and chronic relapse, to the paranoia and anxiety that comes from withdrawal. As a person in recovery, I felt like I needed to document these things at the time when I was going through it.<ref name="sily">{{cite web |last=Mainzer |first=Jordan |title=The Lost Days Interview: 8-Track Document |url=https://sinceileftyoublog.tumblr.com/post/712043997635493888/the-lost-days-interview-8-track-document |website=Since I Left You |date=17 March 2023 |access-date=16 May 2026}}</ref> I think the older I get the more I appreciate lyrics. But what I’m mostly drawn to is melody and instrumentation. When lyrics are good, it’s great, but it’s never been my main focus, it’s always been an afterthought.<ref name="allmusic">{{cite web |last=Steffen |first=Chris |title=Tony Molina, Master of Short Songs, Explains Why Melody Is King |url=https://www.allmusic.com/blog/post/tony-molina-interview/ |date=July 27, 2018 |access-date=May 17, 2026 }}</ref> I don’t write songs about my personal life or anything like that. Mostly I don’t. It’s really uncomfortable to do, so I’ve never even really attempted it that much, it’s much easier to come up with some simple thing that doesn’t apply to me and make that the song. Sometimes when I look back on stuff like that, I think, “All these songs are about a breakup,” but I’m not going through a breakup, I’m not losing people, my life is pretty good.<ref name="allmusic" /> I still play the exact same kind of music now as I did as a child...I don’t think I was born from any scene...The ‘hardcore guy finds sensitive side’ angle that people tried to pull in the past doesn’t apply to me. It’s also corny and not interesting.<ref name="vice-2018">{{cite web |last=Joyce |first=Colin |title=Tony Molina’s New Album Is a Low-Key Ripper, Like the Man Himself |url=https://www.vice.com/en/article/tony-molina-kill-the-lights-interview-stream/ |website=[[w:Vice (magazine)|Vice]] |date=July 23, 2018 |access-date=May 17, 2026}}</ref> I am still wildly uncomfortable with releasing music to the public but I try to shut that off, especially when my friends are so supportive of whatever music I am working on, it kind of convinces me that it is decent or listenable enough to put out there...I usually leave it up to other people to decide. I am perfectly OK with and used to shelving recordings and never releasing them.”<ref name="vice-2018" /> I honestly don’t give a care about lyrics when it comes to writing songs.<ref name="vice-2018" /> I’ve always done both [solo and bands]. It seems pretty boring to just do one thing.<ref name="vice">{{cite web |last=Pessaro |first=Fred |title=Tony Molina May Be A Sensitive Guy, but He Still Wants To Beat You Down |url=https://www.vice.com/en/article/tony-molina-interview/ |website=[[w:Vice (magazine)|Vice]] |date=April 14, 2014 |access-date=May 17, 2026}}</ref> == Reference List == {{reflist}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Molina, Tony}} [[Category:Singer-songwriters from the United States]] foizaggktwjd1x2wtnl7ey82a7hhdef 3942236 3942235 2026-05-18T02:21:46Z ElektraFlowers 3310814 /* Interviews */ 3942236 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Tony Molina|Tony Molina]]''' is an American musician and singer-songwriter from Millbrae, California. == Interviews == I’m not someone who can write a song about surfing or having pizza parties or whatever other fools do.<ref name="sily" /> The whole album [''[[w:In the Store|In the Store]]''] is about [[w:Alcoholism|alcoholism]] and from the perspective of someone who sees the world through an alcoholic lens. The thing about alcoholics is that we have a lot in common and share similar stories and experiences. So I was touching on some things from my personal life that I think are super common among others who live a similar life. From the darkest points of addiction, struggling with recovery, and chronic relapse, to the [[w:Paranoia|paranoia]] and [[w:Anxiety|anxiety]] that comes from withdrawal. As a person in recovery, I felt like I needed to document these things at the time when I was going through it.<ref name="sily">{{cite web |last=Mainzer |first=Jordan |title=The Lost Days Interview: 8-Track Document |url=https://sinceileftyoublog.tumblr.com/post/712043997635493888/the-lost-days-interview-8-track-document |website=Since I Left You |date=17 March 2023 |access-date=16 May 2026}}</ref> I think the older I get the more I appreciate lyrics. But what I’m mostly drawn to is melody and instrumentation. When lyrics are good, it’s great, but it’s never been my main focus, it’s always been an afterthought.<ref name="allmusic">{{cite web |last=Steffen |first=Chris |title=Tony Molina, Master of Short Songs, Explains Why Melody Is King |url=https://www.allmusic.com/blog/post/tony-molina-interview/ |date=July 27, 2018 |access-date=May 17, 2026 }}</ref> I don’t write songs about my personal life or anything like that. Mostly I don’t. It’s really uncomfortable to do, so I’ve never even really attempted it that much, it’s much easier to come up with some simple thing that doesn’t apply to me and make that the song. Sometimes when I look back on stuff like that, I think, “All these songs are about a breakup,” but I’m not going through a breakup, I’m not losing people, my life is pretty good.<ref name="allmusic" /> I still play the exact same kind of music now as I did as a child...I don’t think I was born from any scene...The ‘hardcore guy finds sensitive side’ angle that people tried to pull in the past doesn’t apply to me. It’s also corny and not interesting.<ref name="vice-2018">{{cite web |last=Joyce |first=Colin |title=Tony Molina’s New Album Is a Low-Key Ripper, Like the Man Himself |url=https://www.vice.com/en/article/tony-molina-kill-the-lights-interview-stream/ |website=[[w:Vice (magazine)|Vice]] |date=July 23, 2018 |access-date=May 17, 2026}}</ref> I am still wildly uncomfortable with releasing music to the public but I try to shut that off, especially when my friends are so supportive of whatever music I am working on, it kind of convinces me that it is decent or listenable enough to put out there...I usually leave it up to other people to decide. I am perfectly OK with and used to shelving recordings and never releasing them.”<ref name="vice-2018" /> I honestly don’t give a care about lyrics when it comes to writing songs.<ref name="vice-2018" /> I’ve always done both [solo and bands]. It seems pretty boring to just do one thing.<ref name="vice">{{cite web |last=Pessaro |first=Fred |title=Tony Molina May Be A Sensitive Guy, but He Still Wants To Beat You Down |url=https://www.vice.com/en/article/tony-molina-interview/ |website=[[w:Vice (magazine)|Vice]] |date=April 14, 2014 |access-date=May 17, 2026}}</ref> == Reference List == {{reflist}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Molina, Tony}} [[Category:Singer-songwriters from the United States]] sv3h7spqanmmv8c8wvzg8kzzt69qnfp 2 307413 3942228 2026-05-18T00:57:10Z ElektraFlowers 3310814 created stub 3942228 wikitext text/x-wiki Hello... dpowpnx25h2rghxb3e3hr2poqns65h8 3942245 3942228 2026-05-18T04:20:41Z ElektraFlowers 3310814 3942245 wikitext text/x-wiki {{Userboxtop}} {{User en-N}} {{Userboxbottom}} 2snc3dgkel7r1itpm7bh7yn73fsnklj 0 307414 3942237 2026-05-18T02:39:04Z ElektraFlowers 3310814 created stub 3942237 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Jasper Leach|Jasper Patrick Leach]]''' (usually credited as '''Jasper Leach''') is a musician, recording engineer, and music journalist from Los Angeles, California, currently based in New York City. He also performs under the name [[w:Burner Herzog|Burner Herzog]]. == Interviews == [T]he feelings we have are not new, or even our own, and yet, at the same time, they are our individual feelings. This is a koan that art can solve, and this is something I'm interested in solving all the time in my work<ref="family-reviews" /> Art can be a vision of a new world, but the last 20 years have heavily favored re-evaluating the dazzling library of the past that opened up to us with the Internet and endless curated reissues. I think part of this is spurred on by the terrible political situation we've been in - people are scared of the future, and the past can be comforting. This problem is compounded by the fact that in the mid-1980s, technology surpassed what the artist was capable of doing with it, and it keeps lapping us; I fear many of us are not even attempting to catch up.<ref="family-reviews" /> == References == {{refbegin}} * <ref name="family-reviews">{{cite web |url=https://www.thefamilyreviews.com/features/burner-herzog |title=Burner Herzog |website=The Family Reviews |date=2020 |access-date=2026-05-16}}</ref> {{DEFAULTSORT:Leach, Jasper}}</ref> * <ref name="dirtyhippie">{{cite web | title=The Myonics interview, on what the hell they are. |url=http://dirtyhippieradio.com/2012/06/12/the-myonics-interview-on-what-the-hell-they-are/ |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20131001185855/http://dirtyhippieradio.com/2012/06/12/the-myonics-interview-on-what-the-hell-they-are/ |website=Dirty Hippie Radio |date=June 12, 2012 |archive-date=October 1, 2013 |access-date=May 16, 2026}}</ref> {{refend}} fo9syp3l8a5agycvm91pp2wr24i4zgt 3942238 3942237 2026-05-18T02:41:20Z ElektraFlowers 3310814 /* References */ 3942238 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Jasper Leach|Jasper Patrick Leach]]''' (usually credited as '''Jasper Leach''') is a musician, recording engineer, and music journalist from Los Angeles, California, currently based in New York City. He also performs under the name [[w:Burner Herzog|Burner Herzog]]. == Interviews == [T]he feelings we have are not new, or even our own, and yet, at the same time, they are our individual feelings. This is a koan that art can solve, and this is something I'm interested in solving all the time in my work<ref="family-reviews" /> Art can be a vision of a new world, but the last 20 years have heavily favored re-evaluating the dazzling library of the past that opened up to us with the Internet and endless curated reissues. I think part of this is spurred on by the terrible political situation we've been in - people are scared of the future, and the past can be comforting. This problem is compounded by the fact that in the mid-1980s, technology surpassed what the artist was capable of doing with it, and it keeps lapping us; I fear many of us are not even attempting to catch up.<ref="family-reviews" /> {{refbegin}} * <ref name="family-reviews">{{cite web |url=https://www.thefamilyreviews.com/features/burner-herzog |title=Burner Herzog |website=The Family Reviews |date=2020 |access-date=2026-05-16}}</ref> {{DEFAULTSORT:Leach, Jasper}}</ref> * <ref name="dirtyhippie">{{cite web | title=The Myonics interview, on what the hell they are. |url=http://dirtyhippieradio.com/2012/06/12/the-myonics-interview-on-what-the-hell-they-are/ |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20131001185855/http://dirtyhippieradio.com/2012/06/12/the-myonics-interview-on-what-the-hell-they-are/ |website=Dirty Hippie Radio |date=June 12, 2012 |archive-date=October 1, 2013 |access-date=May 16, 2026}}</ref> {{refend}} 5z01da2bx9338mn1ow7hhfrrvmtmjqt 3942239 3942238 2026-05-18T02:49:18Z ElektraFlowers 3310814 more references 3942239 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Jasper Leach|Jasper Patrick Leach]]''' (usually credited as '''Jasper Leach''') is a musician, recording engineer, and music journalist from Los Angeles, California, currently based in New York City. He also performs under the name [[w:Burner Herzog|Burner Herzog]]. == Interviews == [T]he feelings we have are not new, or even our own, and yet, at the same time, they are our individual feelings. This is a koan that art can solve, and this is something I'm interested in solving all the time in my work. Art can be a vision of a new world, but the last 20 years have heavily favored re-evaluating the dazzling library of the past that opened up to us with the Internet and endless curated reissues. I think part of this is spurred on by the terrible political situation we've been in - people are scared of the future, and the past can be comforting. This problem is compounded by the fact that in the mid-1980s, technology surpassed what the artist was capable of doing with it, and it keeps lapping us; I fear many of us are not even attempting to catch up. To me, playing ‘psychedelic rock’ means that you can just dream up any crazy idea from any area of the musical spectrum you see fit and bastardize it into rock music – a fairly simple, restrictive medium. == References == {{reflist}} {{refbegin}} * {{cite web |url=https://www.thefamilyreviews.com/features/burner-herzog |title=Burner Herzog |website=The Family Reviews |date=2020 |access-date=2026-05-16 |ref={{SfnRef|Family Reviews|2020}} }} * {{cite web | title=The Myonics interview, on what the hell they are. |url=http://dirtyhippieradio.com/2012/06/12/the-myonics-interview-on-what-the-hell-they-are/ |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20131001185855/http://dirtyhippieradio.com/2012/06/12/the-myonics-interview-on-what-the-hell-they-are/ |website=Dirty Hippie Radio |date=June 12, 2012 |archive-date=October 1, 2013 |access-date=May 16, 2026 |ref={{SfnRef|Dirty Hippie|2012}} }} {{refend}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Leach, Jasper}} 4rk7sd0banjlndq8d6ibo1cg662t4fm 3942240 3942239 2026-05-18T02:55:20Z ElektraFlowers 3310814 trying to fix this since sfn isn't working.... 3942240 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[w:Jasper Leach|Jasper Patrick Leach]]''' (usually credited as '''Jasper Leach''') is a musician, recording engineer, and music journalist from Los Angeles, California, currently based in New York City. He also performs under the name [[w:Burner Herzog|Burner Herzog]]. == Interviews == * [T]he feelings we have are not new, or even our own, and yet, at the same time, they are our individual feelings. This is a koan that art can solve, and this is something I'm interested in solving all the time in my work. ** Interview, ''The Family Reviews'', 2020 * Art can be a vision of a new world, but the last 20 years have heavily favored re-evaluating the dazzling library of the past that opened up to us with the Internet and endless curated reissues. I think part of this is spurred on by the terrible political situation we've been in - people are scared of the future, and the past can be comforting. This problem is compounded by the fact that in the mid-1980s, technology surpassed what the artist was capable of doing with it, and it keeps lapping us; I fear many of us are not even attempting to catch up. ** Interview, ''The Family Reviews'', 2020 * The Myonics’ album was a long lesson about what not to do. We had no money, so we tracked it at [[w:SAE Expression College|Ex’pression [College]]] because it was free. It took us about two years to finish and then nine months to mix...If you go into the studio for three days, like we did, where there’s a gun to your head and it’s your money, you tend to think on your feet and make better decisions, rather than going to somebody’s house to mix and wondering why it doesn’t sound good for nine months. ** East Bay Express, 2013 * To me, playing ‘psychedelic rock’ means that you can just dream up any crazy idea from any area of the musical spectrum you see fit and bastardize it into rock music – a fairly simple, restrictive medium. ** Interview, Dirty Hippie Radio, 2012 == References == {{reflist}} {{refbegin}} * {{cite web |url=https://www.thefamilyreviews.com/features/burner-herzog |title=Burner Herzog |website=The Family Reviews |date=2020 |access-date=2026-05-16 |ref={{SfnRef|Family Reviews|2020}} }} * {{cite web |date=2013 |title=Doing It Their Way: How Brasil produced one of the best local rock records of the year. |url=https://eastbayexpress.com/doing-it-their-way-1/ |publisher=East Bay Express |access-date=April 8, 2026 |ref={{sfnref|East Bay Express|2013}} }} * {{cite web | title=The Myonics interview, on what the hell they are. |url=http://dirtyhippieradio.com/2012/06/12/the-myonics-interview-on-what-the-hell-they-are/ |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20131001185855/http://dirtyhippieradio.com/2012/06/12/the-myonics-interview-on-what-the-hell-they-are/ |website=Dirty Hippie Radio |date=June 12, 2012 |archive-date=October 1, 2013 |access-date=May 16, 2026 |ref={{SfnRef|Dirty Hippie|2012}} }} {{refend}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Leach, Jasper}} [[Category:Singer-songwriters from the United States]] ab76uvjrbchqshxg9171195bssszmo4 0 307415 3942256 2026-05-18T08:16:53Z Veera.sj 156205 Created the page 3942256 wikitext text/x-wiki Contemporary Indian painting is the extension of [[Modern Indian painting]] to the contemporary society. It is not just restricted to the canvas, strokes and colors, but extends to the revival of illuminated glass plate paintings, decorating paintings from the shells procured from the sea and other such practices. ==About== * The origins of [[Modern Indian art]] ...were sought in the Neo-Bengal movement originated by Abanindarnath Tagore. ** K. G. Subramanyam (11:10 - 11:24) [https://www.wavespb.com/documentaries/contemporary-indian-painting/9797 Contemporary Indian Painting - Waves OTT by Prasar Bharati] 07xhwof2t55w0tbjnaugos2pl91v5o5 3942257 3942256 2026-05-18T08:17:35Z Veera.sj 156205 corrected red link 3942257 wikitext text/x-wiki Contemporary Indian painting is the extension of [[Modern Indian painting]] to the contemporary society. It is not just restricted to the canvas, strokes and colors, but extends to the revival of illuminated glass plate paintings, decorating paintings from the shells procured from the sea and other such practices. ==About== * The origins of [[Modern Indian painting|Modern Indian art]] ...were sought in the Neo-Bengal movement originated by Abanindarnath Tagore. ** K. G. Subramanyam (11:10 - 11:24) [https://www.wavespb.com/documentaries/contemporary-indian-painting/9797 Contemporary Indian Painting - Waves OTT by Prasar Bharati] 96nexkztiiqljbec07gxn614lnt48tz 3942271 3942257 2026-05-18T10:45:13Z Veera.sj 156205 /* About */ ** Paritosh Sen (25:29 - 25:35) 3942271 wikitext text/x-wiki Contemporary Indian painting is the extension of [[Modern Indian painting]] to the contemporary society. It is not just restricted to the canvas, strokes and colors, but extends to the revival of illuminated glass plate paintings, decorating paintings from the shells procured from the sea and other such practices. ==About== * The origins of [[Modern Indian painting|Modern Indian art]] ...were sought in the Neo-Bengal movement originated by Abanindarnath Tagore. ** K. G. Subramanyam (11:10 - 11:24) [https://www.wavespb.com/documentaries/contemporary-indian-painting/9797 Contemporary Indian Painting - Waves OTT by Prasar Bharati] * One of our most important realization of these (Bengal Famine) times was a reappraisal of the human figure. ** Paritosh Sen (25:29 - 25:35) jbht28ddmavw30909h0q4f618gxzq8l 3942273 3942271 2026-05-18T10:55:05Z Veera.sj 156205 /* About */ ** Sultan Ali (27:43 - 28:27) 3942273 wikitext text/x-wiki Contemporary Indian painting is the extension of [[Modern Indian painting]] to the contemporary society. It is not just restricted to the canvas, strokes and colors, but extends to the revival of illuminated glass plate paintings, decorating paintings from the shells procured from the sea and other such practices. ==About== * The origins of [[Modern Indian painting|Modern Indian art]] ...were sought in the Neo-Bengal movement originated by Abanindarnath Tagore. ** K. G. Subramanyam (11:10 - 11:24) [https://www.wavespb.com/documentaries/contemporary-indian-painting/9797 Contemporary Indian Painting - Waves OTT by Prasar Bharati] * One of our most important realization of these (Bengal Famine) times was a reappraisal of the human figure. ** Paritosh Sen (25:29 - 25:35) * It was in 1944 that the progressive painters association fwas found in Madras with well known artists...we felt at that time, that the Bengal School was too tame, too sentimental and most of the approach was relating to mythology and folklore. We felt that we should be able to do something more lively, something more realistic, something more vibrant. And thats why we felt we should start an organization and get seriously involved in pursuit of something which is modern. ** Sultan Ali (27:43 - 28:27) nq8aw5f9odqc0m1au2rg8xyrrjsmcum 3942279 3942273 2026-05-18T11:08:16Z Veera.sj 156205 /* About */ Sultan Ali (29:38 - 30:17) 3942279 wikitext text/x-wiki Contemporary Indian painting is the extension of [[Modern Indian painting]] to the contemporary society. It is not just restricted to the canvas, strokes and colors, but extends to the revival of illuminated glass plate paintings, decorating paintings from the shells procured from the sea and other such practices. ==About== * The origins of [[Modern Indian painting|Modern Indian art]] ...were sought in the Neo-Bengal movement originated by Abanindarnath Tagore. ** K. G. Subramanyam (11:10 - 11:24) [https://www.wavespb.com/documentaries/contemporary-indian-painting/9797 Contemporary Indian Painting - Waves OTT by Prasar Bharati] * One of our most important realization of these (Bengal Famine) times was a reappraisal of the human figure. ** Paritosh Sen (25:29 - 25:35) * It was in 1944 that the progressive painters association fwas found in Madras with well known artists...we felt at that time, that the Bengal School was too tame, too sentimental and most of the approach was relating to mythology and folklore. We felt that we should be able to do something more lively, something more realistic, something more vibrant. And thats why we felt we should start an organization and get seriously involved in pursuit of something which is modern. ** Sultan Ali (27:43 - 28:27) * ...it was around 1958 that I felt deeply that merely deriving inspiration for reproductions and so forth will not be sufficient and I should try to visit their actual tribal area for authentic experience...I went to places like Jagdalpur, Lakshmipur, Dastar and the surrounding areas. That is where I saw the tribal art in its natural surroundings. And that was very striking and has created a very strong impact on my work. ** Sultan Ali (29:38 - 30:17) 7wl6t9gxkbctfj0cuq371vrdlygppl5 0 307416 3942275 2026-05-18T11:04:51Z ~2026-29833-41 3324009 Created page with "'''[[q:it:Roberto Marchesini|Roberto Marchesini]]''' (1959 – present) is an Italian philosopher, ethologist and essayist. ==''Contro i diritti degli animali?''== :<small>Roberto Marchesini, ''Contro i diritti degli animali? Proposta per un antispecismo postumanista'', Edizioni Sonda, Casale Monferrato, 2014. ISBN 978-88-7106-735-3</small> ===[[w:Incipit|Incipit]]=== In recent years, [[speciesism]], as a topic of debate, or as a counterterm towards which to direct a p..." 3942275 wikitext text/x-wiki '''[[q:it:Roberto Marchesini|Roberto Marchesini]]''' (1959 – present) is an Italian philosopher, ethologist and essayist. ==''Contro i diritti degli animali?''== :<small>Roberto Marchesini, ''Contro i diritti degli animali? Proposta per un antispecismo postumanista'', Edizioni Sonda, Casale Monferrato, 2014. ISBN 978-88-7106-735-3</small> ===[[w:Incipit|Incipit]]=== In recent years, [[speciesism]], as a topic of debate, or as a counterterm towards which to direct a proposal or a movement aimed at criticising its principles, has received a great deal of attention, although not always in a coherent and appropriate way. Thinking about speciesism has become almost a philosophical prolegomenon or a basic problematic issue, confirming in some ways the testamentary expression of [[Jacques Derrida]], who handed us this topic as a philosophical question of the future. ===Quotes=== *The word-concept [speciesism] highlighted by Ryder follows or gives explicit meaning to those discussions that, since the mid-1960s, have begun to denounce certain practices, resulting above all from technical-scientific development and industrialisation, which are oppressive (to put it mildly) towards other species. I am referring to essays such as ''Animal Machines'' by [[w:Ruth Harrison|Ruth Harrison]] or ''Silent Spring'' by [[w:Rachel Carson|Rachel Carson]], essays that would later, in the 1970s, inaugurate the leitmotif of the white paper. In this regard, The ''Imperatrice nuda'' (Naked Empress) by [[w:Hans Ruesch|Hans Ruesch]] is exemplary, a true manifesto of anti-vivisectionism. (p. 11) *With the first decade of the twenty-first century, the term "speciesism" has been enriched with new predicates, going beyond the praxic definition of Ryder and the moral definition of [[w:Peter Singer|Singer]] and [[w:Tom Regan|Regan]]. New deconstructions of the character of species are emerging, taking up the considerations of [[Jacques Derrida|Derrida]]'s final essay ''L'animale che dunque sono'' (The Animal That Therefore I Am) or the conceptions of singularity that characterise the proposals, which, albeit in a varied way, can be found in [[Gilles Deleuze]], [[Michel Foucault]] and [[Giorgio Agamben]]. (p. 16) *Every time the [[Descartes|Cartesian]] idea of animals as automata is mentioned  – "Don't worry, it's the creaking of a machine" – people are stunned, forgetting that most of the interpretation of animal behaviour is informed to the letter by the concept of res extensa. The animal, reduced to a dead thing and studied on the autopsy table, is declared non-existent: for it, death is not given but simply the cessation of organic functions. (p. 32) *That animals can suffer, to put it in Bentham's terms, or are exposed to pain, to recall Derrida, is beyond dispute, even if some researchers (lacking the faintest ethnographic knowledge) persist in subjecting cats to extremely painful tests – with unequivocal behavioural responses – and then claim that there is no scientific evidence. I imagine that the only evidence that would convince them (perhaps) would be if the cat explicitly told them to get lost. (pp. 37-38) *[...] well-being is based on a dynamic (not homeostatic) balance between inputs, in terms of gratification and fulfilment, and outputs, in terms of fatigue, stress and so on. Since it is not possible to eliminate the outgoings in an individual's life, as stress, frustration and fatigue are part of life, it is clear that depriving them of the incomings means that, inevitably, the balance will go into the red within a short time. If it were true that removing the outputs is enough to ensure well-being, a zebra at the zoo should be the happiest animal on this Earth. [...] If this were really the case, hypothetically putting the zoo in direct relation to the savannah, we would expect all the zebras to move from the savannah to the zoo. Conversely, the only zebra in the zoo would undoubtedly head for the savannah. (pp. 39-40) *Ethology is the science that allows human beings to encounter animal otherness in its behavioural expression – in perception as in communication, in motivation as in cognition – and this cognitive exercise not only allows us to acquire important data on the peculiarities of non-humans but also gives rise to a training ground for anthropodecentrism because it accustoms us to considering the human point of view as relative, that is, neither metric nor subsumptive of possibilities. (pp. 64-65) *An ethologist knows that the legs of the cheetah speak of the speed of the gazelle. (p. 75) *My memories as a trainee at the slaughterhouse in Bologna are still vivid in the trepidation I felt in front of the short space that separated the processing tunnel from the disassembly line, a minimal gap between the greatness of life and the nothingness of death, in handling those organs still warm with life and beating uselessly, and in observing their boundless perfection. (p. 77) *Sometimes predation is chilling, as is the case with the praying mantis which, having grasped the victim's body, slowly devours it with a swaying of its triangular head that makes it look like an embroiderer, except that with each pass, an orbit of flesh is removed from the prey's somatic tissue. The habits of solitary wasps also  seem terrifying to us, as they anaesthetise the motor control of a caterpillar and inseminate its body with eggs from which sarcophagous larvae will hatch and empty it from the inside. [...] Predation seems even more disturbing to us if the predator seems to be mocking or playing with its prey, as a cat does with a mouse or an orca with a seal. (p. 77) *[...] the speed of the cheetah is the same as that of the gazelle and vice versa, so we can say that in the cheetah, speed was created by the gazelle, as well as the reverse. (p. 78) *Zooanthropology as a discipline was created to highlight the fact that, like it or not, there are no cultural barriers between species and that there are therefore continuous shifts in perspective between subjects despite their differences in perspective. (p. 155) *[...] for posthumanist philosophy, animal liberation represents the conceptual core, just as human liberation did for humanism. It is clear that for posthumanism, animal liberation represents the true liberation of humankind. (p. 163) {{DEFAULTSORT|Marchesini, Roberto}} [[Category:1959 births]] [[Category:Living people]] [[Category:Philosophers from Italy]] [[Category:Essayist from Italy]] j6uln51fy50726lgg3p006cjqgzh06h 3942276 3942275 2026-05-18T11:05:36Z ~2026-29833-41 3324009 3942276 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:RM BYGO4I.jpg|thumb|Roberto Marchesini]] '''[[q:it:Roberto Marchesini|Roberto Marchesini]]''' (1959 – present) is an Italian philosopher, ethologist and essayist. ==''Contro i diritti degli animali?''== :<small>Roberto Marchesini, ''Contro i diritti degli animali? Proposta per un antispecismo postumanista'', Edizioni Sonda, Casale Monferrato, 2014. ISBN 978-88-7106-735-3</small> ===[[w:Incipit|Incipit]]=== In recent years, [[speciesism]], as a topic of debate, or as a counterterm towards which to direct a proposal or a movement aimed at criticising its principles, has received a great deal of attention, although not always in a coherent and appropriate way. Thinking about speciesism has become almost a philosophical prolegomenon or a basic problematic issue, confirming in some ways the testamentary expression of [[Jacques Derrida]], who handed us this topic as a philosophical question of the future. ===Quotes=== *The word-concept [speciesism] highlighted by Ryder follows or gives explicit meaning to those discussions that, since the mid-1960s, have begun to denounce certain practices, resulting above all from technical-scientific development and industrialisation, which are oppressive (to put it mildly) towards other species. I am referring to essays such as ''Animal Machines'' by [[w:Ruth Harrison|Ruth Harrison]] or ''Silent Spring'' by [[w:Rachel Carson|Rachel Carson]], essays that would later, in the 1970s, inaugurate the leitmotif of the white paper. In this regard, The ''Imperatrice nuda'' (Naked Empress) by [[w:Hans Ruesch|Hans Ruesch]] is exemplary, a true manifesto of anti-vivisectionism. (p. 11) *With the first decade of the twenty-first century, the term "speciesism" has been enriched with new predicates, going beyond the praxic definition of Ryder and the moral definition of [[w:Peter Singer|Singer]] and [[w:Tom Regan|Regan]]. New deconstructions of the character of species are emerging, taking up the considerations of [[Jacques Derrida|Derrida]]'s final essay ''L'animale che dunque sono'' (The Animal That Therefore I Am) or the conceptions of singularity that characterise the proposals, which, albeit in a varied way, can be found in [[Gilles Deleuze]], [[Michel Foucault]] and [[Giorgio Agamben]]. (p. 16) *Every time the [[Descartes|Cartesian]] idea of animals as automata is mentioned  – "Don't worry, it's the creaking of a machine" – people are stunned, forgetting that most of the interpretation of animal behaviour is informed to the letter by the concept of res extensa. The animal, reduced to a dead thing and studied on the autopsy table, is declared non-existent: for it, death is not given but simply the cessation of organic functions. (p. 32) *That animals can suffer, to put it in Bentham's terms, or are exposed to pain, to recall Derrida, is beyond dispute, even if some researchers (lacking the faintest ethnographic knowledge) persist in subjecting cats to extremely painful tests – with unequivocal behavioural responses – and then claim that there is no scientific evidence. I imagine that the only evidence that would convince them (perhaps) would be if the cat explicitly told them to get lost. (pp. 37-38) *[...] well-being is based on a dynamic (not homeostatic) balance between inputs, in terms of gratification and fulfilment, and outputs, in terms of fatigue, stress and so on. Since it is not possible to eliminate the outgoings in an individual's life, as stress, frustration and fatigue are part of life, it is clear that depriving them of the incomings means that, inevitably, the balance will go into the red within a short time. If it were true that removing the outputs is enough to ensure well-being, a zebra at the zoo should be the happiest animal on this Earth. [...] If this were really the case, hypothetically putting the zoo in direct relation to the savannah, we would expect all the zebras to move from the savannah to the zoo. Conversely, the only zebra in the zoo would undoubtedly head for the savannah. (pp. 39-40) *Ethology is the science that allows human beings to encounter animal otherness in its behavioural expression – in perception as in communication, in motivation as in cognition – and this cognitive exercise not only allows us to acquire important data on the peculiarities of non-humans but also gives rise to a training ground for anthropodecentrism because it accustoms us to considering the human point of view as relative, that is, neither metric nor subsumptive of possibilities. (pp. 64-65) *An ethologist knows that the legs of the cheetah speak of the speed of the gazelle. (p. 75) *My memories as a trainee at the slaughterhouse in Bologna are still vivid in the trepidation I felt in front of the short space that separated the processing tunnel from the disassembly line, a minimal gap between the greatness of life and the nothingness of death, in handling those organs still warm with life and beating uselessly, and in observing their boundless perfection. (p. 77) *Sometimes predation is chilling, as is the case with the praying mantis which, having grasped the victim's body, slowly devours it with a swaying of its triangular head that makes it look like an embroiderer, except that with each pass, an orbit of flesh is removed from the prey's somatic tissue. The habits of solitary wasps also  seem terrifying to us, as they anaesthetise the motor control of a caterpillar and inseminate its body with eggs from which sarcophagous larvae will hatch and empty it from the inside. [...] Predation seems even more disturbing to us if the predator seems to be mocking or playing with its prey, as a cat does with a mouse or an orca with a seal. (p. 77) *[...] the speed of the cheetah is the same as that of the gazelle and vice versa, so we can say that in the cheetah, speed was created by the gazelle, as well as the reverse. (p. 78) *Zooanthropology as a discipline was created to highlight the fact that, like it or not, there are no cultural barriers between species and that there are therefore continuous shifts in perspective between subjects despite their differences in perspective. (p. 155) *[...] for posthumanist philosophy, animal liberation represents the conceptual core, just as human liberation did for humanism. It is clear that for posthumanism, animal liberation represents the true liberation of humankind. (p. 163) {{DEFAULTSORT|Marchesini, Roberto}} [[Category:1959 births]] [[Category:Living people]] [[Category:Philosophers from Italy]] [[Category:Essayist from Italy]] dx5s0uk6y8ko04fgmc3otsig13okinb 3942277 3942276 2026-05-18T11:05:51Z ~2026-29833-41 3324009 3942277 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:RM BYGO4I.jpg|thumb|Roberto Marchesini]] '''[[q:it:Roberto Marchesini|Roberto Marchesini]]''' (born 1959) is an Italian philosopher, ethologist and essayist. ==''Contro i diritti degli animali?''== :<small>Roberto Marchesini, ''Contro i diritti degli animali? Proposta per un antispecismo postumanista'', Edizioni Sonda, Casale Monferrato, 2014. ISBN 978-88-7106-735-3</small> ===[[w:Incipit|Incipit]]=== In recent years, [[speciesism]], as a topic of debate, or as a counterterm towards which to direct a proposal or a movement aimed at criticising its principles, has received a great deal of attention, although not always in a coherent and appropriate way. Thinking about speciesism has become almost a philosophical prolegomenon or a basic problematic issue, confirming in some ways the testamentary expression of [[Jacques Derrida]], who handed us this topic as a philosophical question of the future. ===Quotes=== *The word-concept [speciesism] highlighted by Ryder follows or gives explicit meaning to those discussions that, since the mid-1960s, have begun to denounce certain practices, resulting above all from technical-scientific development and industrialisation, which are oppressive (to put it mildly) towards other species. I am referring to essays such as ''Animal Machines'' by [[w:Ruth Harrison|Ruth Harrison]] or ''Silent Spring'' by [[w:Rachel Carson|Rachel Carson]], essays that would later, in the 1970s, inaugurate the leitmotif of the white paper. In this regard, The ''Imperatrice nuda'' (Naked Empress) by [[w:Hans Ruesch|Hans Ruesch]] is exemplary, a true manifesto of anti-vivisectionism. (p. 11) *With the first decade of the twenty-first century, the term "speciesism" has been enriched with new predicates, going beyond the praxic definition of Ryder and the moral definition of [[w:Peter Singer|Singer]] and [[w:Tom Regan|Regan]]. New deconstructions of the character of species are emerging, taking up the considerations of [[Jacques Derrida|Derrida]]'s final essay ''L'animale che dunque sono'' (The Animal That Therefore I Am) or the conceptions of singularity that characterise the proposals, which, albeit in a varied way, can be found in [[Gilles Deleuze]], [[Michel Foucault]] and [[Giorgio Agamben]]. (p. 16) *Every time the [[Descartes|Cartesian]] idea of animals as automata is mentioned  – "Don't worry, it's the creaking of a machine" – people are stunned, forgetting that most of the interpretation of animal behaviour is informed to the letter by the concept of res extensa. The animal, reduced to a dead thing and studied on the autopsy table, is declared non-existent: for it, death is not given but simply the cessation of organic functions. (p. 32) *That animals can suffer, to put it in Bentham's terms, or are exposed to pain, to recall Derrida, is beyond dispute, even if some researchers (lacking the faintest ethnographic knowledge) persist in subjecting cats to extremely painful tests – with unequivocal behavioural responses – and then claim that there is no scientific evidence. I imagine that the only evidence that would convince them (perhaps) would be if the cat explicitly told them to get lost. (pp. 37-38) *[...] well-being is based on a dynamic (not homeostatic) balance between inputs, in terms of gratification and fulfilment, and outputs, in terms of fatigue, stress and so on. Since it is not possible to eliminate the outgoings in an individual's life, as stress, frustration and fatigue are part of life, it is clear that depriving them of the incomings means that, inevitably, the balance will go into the red within a short time. If it were true that removing the outputs is enough to ensure well-being, a zebra at the zoo should be the happiest animal on this Earth. [...] If this were really the case, hypothetically putting the zoo in direct relation to the savannah, we would expect all the zebras to move from the savannah to the zoo. Conversely, the only zebra in the zoo would undoubtedly head for the savannah. (pp. 39-40) *Ethology is the science that allows human beings to encounter animal otherness in its behavioural expression – in perception as in communication, in motivation as in cognition – and this cognitive exercise not only allows us to acquire important data on the peculiarities of non-humans but also gives rise to a training ground for anthropodecentrism because it accustoms us to considering the human point of view as relative, that is, neither metric nor subsumptive of possibilities. (pp. 64-65) *An ethologist knows that the legs of the cheetah speak of the speed of the gazelle. (p. 75) *My memories as a trainee at the slaughterhouse in Bologna are still vivid in the trepidation I felt in front of the short space that separated the processing tunnel from the disassembly line, a minimal gap between the greatness of life and the nothingness of death, in handling those organs still warm with life and beating uselessly, and in observing their boundless perfection. (p. 77) *Sometimes predation is chilling, as is the case with the praying mantis which, having grasped the victim's body, slowly devours it with a swaying of its triangular head that makes it look like an embroiderer, except that with each pass, an orbit of flesh is removed from the prey's somatic tissue. The habits of solitary wasps also  seem terrifying to us, as they anaesthetise the motor control of a caterpillar and inseminate its body with eggs from which sarcophagous larvae will hatch and empty it from the inside. [...] Predation seems even more disturbing to us if the predator seems to be mocking or playing with its prey, as a cat does with a mouse or an orca with a seal. (p. 77) *[...] the speed of the cheetah is the same as that of the gazelle and vice versa, so we can say that in the cheetah, speed was created by the gazelle, as well as the reverse. (p. 78) *Zooanthropology as a discipline was created to highlight the fact that, like it or not, there are no cultural barriers between species and that there are therefore continuous shifts in perspective between subjects despite their differences in perspective. (p. 155) *[...] for posthumanist philosophy, animal liberation represents the conceptual core, just as human liberation did for humanism. It is clear that for posthumanism, animal liberation represents the true liberation of humankind. (p. 163) {{DEFAULTSORT|Marchesini, Roberto}} [[Category:1959 births]] [[Category:Living people]] [[Category:Philosophers from Italy]] [[Category:Essayist from Italy]] 38wtuig53ii1iz3saokwpjswu5lsr7x 3942278 3942277 2026-05-18T11:06:17Z ~2026-29833-41 3324009 /* Quotes */ 3942278 wikitext text/x-wiki [[File:RM BYGO4I.jpg|thumb|Roberto Marchesini]] '''[[q:it:Roberto Marchesini|Roberto Marchesini]]''' (born 1959) is an Italian philosopher, ethologist and essayist. ==''Contro i diritti degli animali?''== :<small>Roberto Marchesini, ''Contro i diritti degli animali? Proposta per un antispecismo postumanista'', Edizioni Sonda, Casale Monferrato, 2014. ISBN 978-88-7106-735-3</small> ===[[w:Incipit|Incipit]]=== In recent years, [[speciesism]], as a topic of debate, or as a counterterm towards which to direct a proposal or a movement aimed at criticising its principles, has received a great deal of attention, although not always in a coherent and appropriate way. Thinking about speciesism has become almost a philosophical prolegomenon or a basic problematic issue, confirming in some ways the testamentary expression of [[Jacques Derrida]], who handed us this topic as a philosophical question of the future. ===Quotes=== *The word-concept [speciesism] highlighted by Ryder follows or gives explicit meaning to those discussions that, since the mid-1960s, have begun to denounce certain practices, resulting above all from technical-scientific development and industrialisation, which are oppressive (to put it mildly) towards other species. I am referring to essays such as ''Animal Machines'' by [[w:Ruth Harrison|Ruth Harrison]] or ''Silent Spring'' by [[w:Rachel Carson|Rachel Carson]], essays that would later, in the 1970s, inaugurate the leitmotif of the white paper. In this regard, The ''Imperatrice nuda'' (Naked Empress) by [[w:Hans Ruesch|Hans Ruesch]] is exemplary, a true manifesto of anti-vivisectionism. (p. 11) *With the first decade of the twenty-first century, the term "speciesism" has been enriched with new predicates, going beyond the praxic definition of Ryder and the moral definition of [[w:Peter Singer|Singer]] and [[w:Tom Regan|Regan]]. New deconstructions of the character of species are emerging, taking up the considerations of [[Jacques Derrida|Derrida]]'s final essay ''L'animale che dunque sono'' (The Animal That Therefore I Am) or the conceptions of singularity that characterise the proposals, which, albeit in a varied way, can be found in [[Gilles Deleuze]], [[Michel Foucault]] and [[Giorgio Agamben]]. (p. 16) *Every time the [[Descartes|Cartesian]] idea of animals as automata is mentioned  – "Don't worry, it's the creaking of a machine" – people are stunned, forgetting that most of the interpretation of animal behaviour is informed to the letter by the concept of res extensa. The animal, reduced to a dead thing and studied on the autopsy table, is declared non-existent: for it, death is not given but simply the cessation of organic functions. (p. 32) *That animals can suffer, to put it in Bentham's terms, or are exposed to pain, to recall Derrida, is beyond dispute, even if some researchers (lacking the faintest ethnographic knowledge) persist in subjecting cats to extremely painful tests – with unequivocal behavioural responses – and then claim that there is no scientific evidence. I imagine that the only evidence that would convince them (perhaps) would be if the cat explicitly told them to get lost. (pp. 37-38) *[...] well-being is based on a dynamic (not homeostatic) balance between inputs, in terms of gratification and fulfilment, and outputs, in terms of fatigue, stress and so on. Since it is not possible to eliminate the outgoings in an individual's life, as stress, frustration and fatigue are part of life, it is clear that depriving them of the incomings means that, inevitably, the balance will go into the red within a short time. If it were true that removing the outputs is enough to ensure well-being, a zebra at the zoo should be the happiest animal on this Earth. [...] If this were really the case, hypothetically putting the zoo in direct relation to the savannah, we would expect all the zebras to move from the savannah to the zoo. Conversely, the only zebra in the zoo would undoubtedly head for the savannah. (pp. 39-40) *Ethology is the science that allows human beings to encounter animal otherness in its behavioural expression – in perception as in communication, in motivation as in cognition – and this cognitive exercise not only allows us to acquire important data on the peculiarities of non-humans but also gives rise to a training ground for anthropodecentrism because it accustoms us to considering the human point of view as relative, that is, neither metric nor subsumptive of possibilities. (pp. 64-65) *An ethologist knows that the legs of the cheetah speak of the speed of the gazelle. (p. 75) *My memories as a trainee at the slaughterhouse in Bologna are still vivid in the trepidation I felt in front of the short space that separated the processing tunnel from the disassembly line, a minimal gap between the greatness of life and the nothingness of death, in handling those organs still warm with life and beating uselessly, and in observing their boundless perfection. (p. 77) *Sometimes predation is chilling, as is the case with the praying mantis which, having grasped the victim's body, slowly devours it with a swaying of its triangular head that makes it look like an embroiderer, except that with each pass, an orbit of flesh is removed from the prey's somatic tissue. The habits of solitary wasps also  seem terrifying to us, as they anaesthetise the motor control of a caterpillar and inseminate its body with eggs from which sarcophagous larvae will hatch and empty it from the inside. [...] Predation seems even more disturbing to us if the predator seems to be mocking or playing with its prey, as a cat does with a mouse or an orca with a seal. (p. 77) *[...] the speed of the cheetah is the same as that of the gazelle and vice versa, so we can say that in the cheetah, speed was created by the gazelle, as well as the reverse. (p. 78) *Zooanthropology as a discipline was created to highlight the fact that, like it or not, there are no cultural barriers between species and that there are therefore continuous shifts in perspective between subjects despite their differences in perspective. (p. 155) *[...] for posthumanist philosophy, animal liberation represents the conceptual core, just as human liberation did for humanism. It is clear that for posthumanism, animal liberation represents the true liberation of humankind. (p. 163) {{DEFAULTSORT|Marchesini, Roberto}} [[Category:1959 births]] [[Category:Living people]] [[Category:Philosophers from Italy]] [[Category:Essayists from Italy]] 9iffypxs98vinim0a2l344ryt4a7fux